Saving Society w/ Francis Ellis!

Summary

Podcast Summary: "Saving Society w/ Francis Ellis!"

Podcast Information:

• Title: Saving Society w/ Francis Ellis!
• Episode: Saving Society w/ Francis Ellis!
• Release Date: February 6, 2025
• Hosts: Kevin Ryan & H. Foley
• Guests: Francis Ellis

---

1. Introduction and Guest Welcome (00:14 - 01:53)

The episode opens with hosts Kevin Ryan and H. Foley introducing their special guest, Francis Ellis, a comedian and host of the podcast "Son of a Boy. Dad." The hosts warmly welcome Francis back, highlighting their long-standing friendship and Francis's presence in the comedy scene.

Notable Quote:

• H. Foley (00:14): "Are you garbage.com? welcome to another exciting edition of are you garbage? The show where you find out if your favorite comedians are classy individuals or or absolute trash."

---

2. Clothing, Style, and Laundry Habits (01:53 - 43:03)

The conversation delves into Francis's attire and laundry routines. Francis showcases his sharp wardrobe, discussing brands and his meticulous approach to keeping his clothes clean. The hosts and Francis exchange humorous anecdotes about clothing mishaps and stain removal techniques.

Key Topics:

• Style Choices: Discussion about wearing specific brands like George Foreman Grill (likely a humorous mismention) and choices in menswear.
• Laundry Routines: Francis emphasizes his disciplined laundry habits, washing clothes regularly to maintain freshness.
• Stain Removal: The trio shares various stain removal tips, including homemade solutions involving Dawn, apple cider vinegar, and alcohol.

Notable Quotes:

• Francis Ellis (04:04): "I got four sweatshirts."
• H. Foley (05:01): "That would be the cleanest thing that I own."
• Francis Ellis (07:15): "I probably couldn't live in an apartment without one."

---

3. Dining Etiquette and Food Sharing (19:00 - 37:00)

A humorous segment arises when Kevin shares an embarrassing incident involving eating hummus directly from the bowl at a family dinner, leading to playful ribbing from the hosts. The discussion expands to general dining etiquette, sharing plates, and the social dynamics of ordering food in groups.

Key Topics:

• Hummus Mishap: Kevin recounts dipping a fork directly into the hummus when pita runs out, causing awkwardness at the table.
• Sharing Food: Francis and H. Foley discuss the nuances of sharing dishes, especially in mixed company, highlighting the balance between generosity and personal boundaries.
• Culinary Preferences: The hosts share their favorite appetizers and the challenges of ordering appropriately in group settings.

Notable Quotes:

• Kevin Ryan (20:42): "You get on it. I realize it's not classy, but is that because I caught a lot of flack for it by the listeners who are dirtbags themselves but were like, that was nuts."
• H. Foley (22:23): "They just got no grip on them. You know what I mean?"
• Francis Ellis (26:28): "His is in shame. His is going. These are going. Yours."

---

4. Health, Diet, and Statins (35:00 - 51:59)

The discussion shifts to health and dietary habits, with Francis candidly talking about his use of Rosuvastatin to manage cholesterol levels. The hosts explore various aspects of diet, including salmon consumption, vegetable preferences, and the impact of medication on daily routines.

Key Topics:

• Statin Use: Francis discusses his prescription of Rosuvastatin, detailing how it affects his daily life and dietary choices.
• Dietary Preferences: Emphasis on consuming lean proteins like salmon, sweet potatoes, and a variety of vegetables to maintain health.
• Cooking Habits: Francis shares his cooking methods, including air frying and preparing Mediterranean-style dishes.

Notable Quotes:

• Francis Ellis (35:02): "I do eat a lot? You'd be surprised. I mean, it's mostly healthy food."
• H. Foley (37:03): "I have a scholarship over there."
• Francis Ellis (43:08): "I am so aggressive, unfortunately."

---

5. Pickleball and Sports Discussions (43:03 - 48:54)

The hosts engage in a lively conversation about various racket sports, particularly focusing on pickleball. They contrast different types of paddle sports, debating their complexity and social aspects. The discussion also touches on handling aggression and sportsmanship.

Key Topics:

• Pickleball Popularity: Exploration of why pickleball is becoming a universal sport and its accessibility.
• Comparing Racket Sports: Differentiating between pickleball, paddle tennis, squash, and racquetball in terms of rules and social settings.
• Sportsmanship: Sharing stories about sports-related conflicts and the importance of adhering to unwritten rules.

Notable Quotes:

• Francis Ellis (43:54): "Pickleball is, I would say, the most universal."
• Kevin Ryan (44:51): "That's like my. Your aunt, you know?"
• Francis Ellis (44:55): "Pickleball is, I would say, the most universal."

---

6. Airport Line-Cutting Story (56:00 - 62:17)

Kevin narrates an intense experience at an airport where a fellow passenger tries to cut the line during boarding. The story highlights themes of personal integrity, confrontation, and maintaining order in public spaces. The hosts and Francis humorously dissect the encounter, emphasizing the importance of standing up against unfair behavior.

Key Topics:

• Confrontation with Line-Cutter: Detailed recounting of Kevin addressing a passenger who falsely claimed to be in an earlier boarding group.
• Maintaining Order: Discussion on the importance of upholding social contracts and the frustration of dealing with deceitful behavior.
• Personal Integrity: Highlighting the value of speaking up when witnessing wrongdoing to preserve societal norms.

Notable Quotes:

• Kevin Ryan (57:21): "I'm gonna have to go home with all clean clothes of the bag for the next couple."
• Francis Ellis (58:35): "You knew. Did you know?"
• Kevin Ryan (59:03): "I love it."

---

7. Conclusion and Upcoming Events (62:12 - 63:22)

As the episode wraps up, the hosts thank Francis for his insights and share information about his upcoming shows. They encourage listeners to support Francis's performances and promote their own upcoming events, fostering a sense of community and continued engagement.

Key Topics:

• Upcoming Shows: Francis announces his performances in D.C., Providence, and New Jersey.
• Support and Engagement: Encouraging listeners to attend live shows and follow Francis's podcast.
• Final Remarks: Hosts express gratitude towards Francis and tease future episodes.

Notable Quotes:

• H. Foley (62:36): "Francis, we love you."
• Francis Ellis (62:43): "Thank you. I love you guys. Always."
• Kevin Ryan (63:18): "We are due to be back."

---

Conclusion

"Saving Society w/ Francis Ellis!" offers a blend of humor, personal anecdotes, and casual discussions on everyday topics ranging from laundry habits to sportsmanship. Through engaging dialogues and relatable stories, Francis Ellis and the hosts Kevin Ryan and H. Foley create an entertaining space that resonates with listeners. The episode balances lighthearted banter with insightful reflections on social behaviors, making it a memorable installment in the "Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast" series.

---

Notable Quotes with Timestamps:

• H. Foley (00:14): "Are you garbage.com? welcome to another exciting edition of are you garbage? The show where you find out if your favorite comedians are classy individuals or or absolute trash."
• Francis Ellis (04:04): "I got four sweatshirts."
• H. Foley (05:01): "That would be the cleanest thing that I own."
• Kevin Ryan (20:42): "You get on it. I realize it's not classy, but is that because I caught a lot of flack for it by the listeners who are dirtbags themselves but were like, that was nuts."
• Francis Ellis (26:28): "His is in shame. His is going. These are going. Yours."
• Francis Ellis (35:02): "I do eat a lot? You'd be surprised. I mean, it's mostly healthy food."
• Kevin Ryan (57:21): "I'm gonna have to go home with all clean clothes of the bag for the next couple."
• Kevin Ryan (59:03): "I love it."
• H. Foley (62:36): "Francis, we love you."
• Francis Ellis (62:43): "Thank you. I love you guys. Always."

Transcript

[H. Foley]

Hey, gang, if you haven't gotten your tickets for the back on the block tour, do yourself a favor and grab them now because they're going fast.

[Kevin Ryan]

Yeah, we've already added a second show in Pontiac, Michigan. We got a low ticket alert in Indy, Madison, Minneapolis, Pittsburgh, Cleveland. Get them tickies now. We'll see you out there.

[H. Foley]

Are you garbage.com? welcome to another exciting edition of are you garbage? The show where you find out if your favorite comedians are classy individuals or or absolute trash. Now here are your hosts, Kevin Ryan and H. Foley. Hey everybody out there and welcome back to everybody's favorite podcast. This is are you garbage? Oh yeah, it's that little show. We sit down with your favorite comedians and we find that if they're group to be classy or if they're just a big old piece of trash.

[Kevin Ryan]

Classy.

[H. Foley]

I'm your host, H. Foley. Coming at you on a beautiful day. We're out back here at Toodies in a new edition. She finally got the Christmas tree down.

[Kevin Ryan]

Okay.

[H. Foley]

Went straight to the St. Patrick's Day decorations.

[Kevin Ryan]

Okay.

[H. Foley]

We're gonna be beginning of February. Sure getting after it pretty quick, huh? All right, fair enough. My coast is coming at you from right next to me. Unfortunately, he is the CEO of are you garbage? He is an international businessman and my best pal in the whole wide world. Give it up for kj Kevin James Ryan.

[Kevin Ryan]

Hey, what's up, gang? Shout out to you. Thanks for tuning in as always. Please make sure you rate review. Subscribe on itunes. Full video available on YouTube and full video available on Spotify. Now the boys got caught up to the big leagues by Spotify. Full video available. Check that out then. Obviously the greatest website of all time. Www.patreon.com alreadygarbage. You get all your bonus content needs over there. And the boys are on a row. Get your tickets to a live show, gang.

[H. Foley]

Come see us, gang. Good times. And we couldn't be more excited to have our incredibly, and I mean incredibly special guest back with us again today. First time in the new edition. He's an old pal of ours, one of the stars over there in that barstool universe. And you can hear him every week on his amazing podcast. Son of a boy. Dad. Give it up for Francis Ellis, everybody.

[Francis Ellis]

Hey, thank you guys.

[H. Foley]

Prim, proper, clean, sharp, sharp shirt. What's that? A Flaherty Eyes on.

[Kevin Ryan]

What do you bet?

[H. Foley]

What is it?

[Francis Ellis]

This is barber. They make coats more noticeable. Luke known for their coats.

[Kevin Ryan]

Classy. Yeah, I have I. Yeah.

[H. Foley]

Where you get something like that? Lower east side.

[Francis Ellis]

Hold on a second.

[Kevin Ryan]

Barbers were like a. I got a barber coat at a store I didn't belong in. I was with my wife, trying to impress her.

[H. Foley]

It was a Sears.

[Kevin Ryan]

And he looks like, are you wearing a barber jacket? I'm like, yes. You know that. He's like, it's like what rich dads wear. And then I got paint on it real quick.

[Francis Ellis]

Wear apple picking in New Jersey.

[Kevin Ryan]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I wore it smoking cigs in the Lower East.

[Francis Ellis]

Good, good. It's waterproof. I don't know. Might fend off the. The smoke it. There's a menswear store the next time you guys are doing shows in Denver. That is the single best menswear store I've ever been to.

[H. Foley]

Nothing's going to fit me in there. Get a pair of socks or something.

[Francis Ellis]

They deal, sort you out. They got.

[Kevin Ryan]

Got tarps or something.

[Francis Ellis]

It's not some like super, you know, prim and proper, super dressy place. It's not some place where it's just cool gear, the haberdashery or some bullshit.

[Kevin Ryan]

I'm a haberdasher man myself.

[Francis Ellis]

You know, they don't have a stepping stool for you to step up so some guy can measure your inseam. There's a motorcycle in the store.

[Kevin Ryan]

Okay.

[Francis Ellis]

There's a dog in the store. They have a whole rack of whiskey that you can choose from and drink while you're drinking.

[H. Foley]

Yeah, but that's all classy shit now. The cool motorcycles, the fucking.

[Francis Ellis]

I know.

[H. Foley]

The big heads.

[Kevin Ryan]

They give you whiskey.

[Francis Ellis]

I know, but it's worth a very good.

[H. Foley]

They give you whiskey when you're shopping.

[Francis Ellis]

Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. You don't even have to buy anything, huh?

[Kevin Ryan]

My kind of joint.

[Francis Ellis]

Yeah, I go in there.

[Kevin Ryan]

I'm a rich industrialist in town.

[H. Foley]

Peru's pre game going.

[Francis Ellis]

I'm shopping on behalf of my master.

[H. Foley]

Your closet, I would assume, is pretty sharp. Everything neat, clean, organized, done by color. Done by what?

[Francis Ellis]

Item.

[H. Foley]

Item.

[Francis Ellis]

You know, I keep all my sweaters together.

[Kevin Ryan]

How many sweaters has a guy like you got?

[H. Foley]

4. It's pretty good. How many sweaters do you have?

[Kevin Ryan]

How many sweaters?

[Francis Ellis]

I got four sweatshirts.

[Kevin Ryan]

You talking sweatshirts or sweaters? I got about four sweatshirts.

[H. Foley]

I don't own any sweaters.

[Francis Ellis]

No, not one.

[Kevin Ryan]

I mean, that's good.

[Francis Ellis]

Historically. I was not a sweater guy. I didn't like Dr. Because, well, they. They're just. You get too hot with a sweater on. Sure, it's very hard to take a sweater off.

[H. Foley]

But something like that. Will you wash that or does that get dry cleaned?

[Francis Ellis]

I'll follow whatever the tag says. And if it says that I can gentle wash with light colors.

[Kevin Ryan]

That's a guy who's read a tag right there.

[Francis Ellis]

I'm following it to the tube.

[Kevin Ryan]

Really?

[Francis Ellis]

And if it says dry clean, I'll send it to the dry cleaner. But I don't dry clean much stuff.

[H. Foley]

Huh.

[Francis Ellis]

I love doing laundry.

[Kevin Ryan]

Now let's.

[Francis Ellis]

It's my favorite thing in the world.

[H. Foley]

Really?

[Francis Ellis]

That's. Love it.

[Kevin Ryan]

All right, let's say you wear that, right? You're coming. Slow day. You gotta come here. You gotta go home. You got spots. You're gonna wear that for spots tonight? Yeah, sure does. That's a little bit of. More of an outerwear ish. Does that get washed or does that get hung back up for future use?

[Francis Ellis]

This. Oh, I'll.

[H. Foley]

I'll.

[Francis Ellis]

I'll wear it a few times before you wash it. Yeah. Okay. I'm a smell test guy.

[H. Foley]

That would be the cleanest thing that I own. That it looks brand new.

[Kevin Ryan]

That's because you don't fit in it. That's the only reason it would be clean. There'd be no mustard stains.

[H. Foley]

Do you ever get stains on your clothes?

[Francis Ellis]

Yes, I do. You do? Drives me nuts.

[Kevin Ryan]

You're a human boy, just like us.

[Francis Ellis]

I hate it. I hate it. But you know, when you actually effectively treat a stain, then you feel good. You feel good. I have all kinds of stain treatments.

[H. Foley]

In my apartment other than Tide stain stick.

[Francis Ellis]

Yeah. There's. Oxiclean is really effective.

[H. Foley]

Sure.

[Francis Ellis]

But again, there's different sort of prescriptions for different types of fabrics.

[H. Foley]

I actually have one for you. Cause I get a lot of stains on my shirt.

[Kevin Ryan]

Dude, we went to the Eagles game. Whatever. Two weeks ago, he went to the game. We left the hotel that we stayed at. He had blood and coffee on his shirt. And he's like, all right, I'm ready to go.

[H. Foley]

Skin tags start leaking.

[Kevin Ryan]

How many of those you got?

[H. Foley]

Do you have any skin tags?

[Francis Ellis]

No, I don't. I'm not a Labrador retriever.

[Kevin Ryan]

There's a as.

[H. Foley]

Wait, hold on. I want to give you my stain thing. My dad get him. My dad got a lot of stains on his shirt too. God rest his soul. So my mom became an expert at getting them out. So she takes Dawn.

[Francis Ellis]

Yeah.

[H. Foley]

Apple cider vinegar and a little bit of water and some alcohol, and she sprays it.

[Kevin Ryan]

Wow.

[Francis Ellis]

She mixes all those together.

[H. Foley]

Mixes all together in a spray bottle. And then you put it out in the sun for A couple hours and then. And then wash.

[Kevin Ryan]

Native American. That's crazy. Take it, open the sun God, take.

[H. Foley]

It down to the creek and hit a rock. Okay, so if you're looking for another.

[Francis Ellis]

One, that's a good one. I mean, I don't, I don't know. That's be above my pay grade.

[H. Foley]

You're not making your own potions?

[Francis Ellis]

No, not quite.

[Kevin Ryan]

You're not half witch, huh? You know, you don't say no. Okay, that makes sense. Yeah.

[Francis Ellis]

But I do, I do like it. It's tough. It's tough. Definitely seeing a stain on a favorite piece of clothing and you have a.

[H. Foley]

Washer and dryer in the unit.

[Francis Ellis]

I do. In your spot pretty good at this point. I hate to say it. I probably couldn't live in an apartment without one. I do so much laundry, huh? Yeah.

[H. Foley]

Keep everything clean.

[Francis Ellis]

Yeah.

[H. Foley]

You do it every week or do you have a scheduled day?

[Francis Ellis]

I mean, I probably do it twice a week.

[Kevin Ryan]

Really?

[Francis Ellis]

Yeah, because I work out a lot, so I always have a big outfit of sweaty clothes and I don't like to let those marinade for more than a couple days.

[Kevin Ryan]

It's more of level of dirty clothes versus level of clean clothes. Like I only do laundry when I'm.

[H. Foley]

Like, all the clothes are gone.

[Kevin Ryan]

I got two T shirts, maybe all pair of socks and underwear left. Then I'll do laundry.

[H. Foley]

Do you always have clean underwear?

[Francis Ellis]

When I'm traveling on a long trip, I usually run out, but yo, what.

[Kevin Ryan]

Do you do then?

[Francis Ellis]

When I'm traveling, I just did a two week trip where I went to a lot of different places and halfway through that trip I was staying in an Airbnb with my buddies and like a psychopath, I did a load of laundry.

[Kevin Ryan]

That's how I do that.

[H. Foley]

I do that the second we get there.

[Kevin Ryan]

Dude, we've landed day of travel, like left New York land in the Airbnb and he's like, I'm gonna throw it a little. I'm throw a load of load.

[H. Foley]

I'll bring all dirty stuff and then wash it when I'm there.

[Francis Ellis]

That's unusual. That's new. I'm not familiar starting a trip with all dirty clothes.

[Kevin Ryan]

He's like, I like doing laundry. Not that much.

[Francis Ellis]

Knowing that somewhere you're going, they'll solve it for you.

[Kevin Ryan]

That's a crazy way to live.

[Francis Ellis]

Yeah, but I do, I mean, resetting with clean clothes in the middle of a two week roadster is as good as it gets.

[Kevin Ryan]

You're not wrong.

[H. Foley]

Coming back with all clean clothes of the bag for the next couple.

[Francis Ellis]

It's amazing. Yeah.

[Kevin Ryan]

Do you. When you get home, do you unpack the bag into your dresser or do you like. How do you do that?

[Francis Ellis]

Oh, I will unpack into the laundry or the dresser, but someone the second you get back. Yo. I cannot go to bed the night I get home without unpacking and putting my.

[Kevin Ryan]

You two need to live together.

[H. Foley]

That's crazy.

[Francis Ellis]

I couldn't do it.

[H. Foley]

That's the best part. Just rolling the bag into the corner and ordering some Chinese or something.

[Francis Ellis]

I mean, dude, I got home from that trip. I flew from California. I got in it to JFK at like, 12:30. Didn't get home till like, 1:15. No. And I was like, surely I will just go to bed. When I was sitting there, he's out.

[Kevin Ryan]

There with the oxygen.

[H. Foley]

What something inside of you tells you you can't do that.

[Francis Ellis]

I want. When I get home after traveling, I want to get back to my life as quickly as possible and reset my routine so that the first step of that is unpacking a dirty suitcase.

[Kevin Ryan]

He's disciplined.

[H. Foley]

Did you put your bag away and wherever that goes?

[Francis Ellis]

Yeah. I love. By the way, I also have a small apartment. You may not believe that, but I have a pretty small apartment. I downsized when I got divorced, so if I have clutter, it just makes everything smaller and I get claustrophobic.

[H. Foley]

Did you get any of the furniture from the. Did you take anything out of the old apartment that you want it?

[Francis Ellis]

You know, we were pretty generous with each other about that, so, you know, there were a few things I took.

[H. Foley]

But did you get a new couch or a new bed?

[Francis Ellis]

I took an old couch that we had in storage that we weren't using.

[H. Foley]

Damn. He's got couches and stuff.

[Francis Ellis]

And that couch has. Has some stains on it. Yeah, that has.

[Kevin Ryan]

That bothers him on a molecular level.

[Francis Ellis]

Yes, it does. And to the degree that it has a performance fabric which would be very easy to clean.

[H. Foley]

What does that mean?

[Francis Ellis]

It's just one of those fabrics that, like, you don't.

[Kevin Ryan]

It's got high width.

[Francis Ellis]

It's meant to be cleaned easily.

[H. Foley]

Oh, it's a big and tall store. We have shirts like that. Like, the fabric is for stains.

[Francis Ellis]

Lazy boy shirts like that?

[H. Foley]

Yeah. Is that what you mean?

[Francis Ellis]

Yeah, I guess. I guess. Stain resistant. Imagine a couch made of those Dockers pants that used to pour. They show you pouring water all over them, but you never owned those.

[Kevin Ryan]

Did you ever wear Dockers?

[Francis Ellis]

I like Dockers.

[H. Foley]

You might have wore Dockers in the Very beginning.

[Francis Ellis]

Yeah. Yeah. Like back in the day I had some Dockers. Yeah. But I was gonna say that this couch, ultimately I need to take it and have all the slipcovers dry cleaned. That's the way to do a total reset of your couch. But to do they take a long time.

[Kevin Ryan]

So you take the, you take the COVID you take the.

[Francis Ellis]

You unzip all unzip.

[Kevin Ryan]

Take the cushions out, take those, get dry cleaned.

[Francis Ellis]

Get them all dry cleaned. But a dry cleaner, for whatever reason, they send that to some different part of the world.

[Kevin Ryan]

Sure.

[Francis Ellis]

The couch covers, that's going. That's going far.

[Kevin Ryan]

That's going to a specialty spot.

[H. Foley]

Yeah.

[Francis Ellis]

You need to have a couple weeks of your life where you don't need couch cushion. A dressed couch. You can still dressed couch, lie on the couch cushions, but the feather stems are going to be poking through.

[Kevin Ryan]

Something you wouldn't do, but we would do.

[Francis Ellis]

I'll do it.

[H. Foley]

I do it all the time.

[Francis Ellis]

I'm not happy about it.

[Kevin Ryan]

You lay a blanket down or a sheet or something.

[Francis Ellis]

You could do. You could do.

[H. Foley]

I do it all the time. And sometimes if the. If the bird's away for you living. If the bird's away and I have to do the sheets, takes him off.

[Francis Ellis]

Because it's what he prefers. She comes home, he puts it back.

[Kevin Ryan]

I'm.

[H. Foley]

Yeah, well, if I have to do the sheets, I'll do the sheets and that'll be like a day or two. Process to do sheets. Because usually I'll put them in the washing machine.

[Kevin Ryan]

Forget about.

[H. Foley]

I'll forget about them and then I'll take them out. They'll be all smelly.

[Francis Ellis]

They rot.

[H. Foley]

Yes. And then I'll do them again and then dry it again. And she's got these fucking dryer balls that go everywhere. That drives me crazy.

[Kevin Ryan]

Like the lambs, the lanolin balls or whatever.

[H. Foley]

Sucks.

[Kevin Ryan]

Do you do that or do you.

[Francis Ellis]

What do you do you do dryer sheets, Fabric softener. I don't use dryer sheets.

[Kevin Ryan]

You do fabric softener. I don't even think I know how that work. You do fabric softener in the washer.

[Francis Ellis]

Yes.

[Kevin Ryan]

And then no need for dryer sheets.

[Francis Ellis]

Well, I don't know if. If it's a. If it's a substitute for dryer sheets. I just, I've never really done much investigating of dryer sheets. I don't really know what that is.

[Kevin Ryan]

Not good.

[Francis Ellis]

Occasionally when I'll like pull out my clothes, especially. I don't know, for whatever reason, sometimes you find those little pieces of white Cloth in between. You're like, what happened here?

[H. Foley]

I had a sock in my jeans the other day. It was embarrassing. I just had to throw it out. It was stuck in between my calf.

[Francis Ellis]

And threw it out.

[Kevin Ryan]

I had that happen to me in high school. I got there and my mom's sock was left. I found it like in my. Under my gooch and had to fucking throw that out in the bedroom.

[H. Foley]

Trading bra fell out of your jacket.

[Kevin Ryan]

That's my sister's, I swear.

[H. Foley]

Let's get into the notable alumni. Yes. If you don't know Mr. Ellis is a graduate of Harvard University.

[Kevin Ryan]

There's no way you are a notable alum on Wikipedia. Also, is it Wikipedia or Wikipedia?

[Francis Ellis]

Wikipedia.

[Kevin Ryan]

Wikipedia.

[Francis Ellis]

That's what I would say. It doesn't mean that I'm right or probably, though. Well, that's just how I've heard it. I'll tell you. I've never donated money to them.

[Kevin Ryan]

Yeah, fuck that. Always asking you for money. Show some skin or something.

[Francis Ellis]

Should donate money to Wikipedia.

[H. Foley]

Why? You go on there a lot.

[Francis Ellis]

It's just such a useful resource that I use so often without even realizing it. And what a noble reason.

[H. Foley]

They don't make no cash on their.

[Francis Ellis]

Own, I don't think. There's no advertising. It's clean.

[H. Foley]

That's what they got to start doing. You doing only fans printing money over there.

[Kevin Ryan]

This is the strongest Wikipedia I've ever seen. They do pictures on their notable alumni. Francis Ellis is not one of them. We got Mark Zuckerberg, Bill Gates, John Adams. That makes John. Jeremy Lynn.

[H. Foley]

Wait, John Adams, the director? The president?

[Francis Ellis]

Yeah, I believe John Adams. I think John Quincy, his son went there.

[H. Foley]

Now you know what dorms they stayed in.

[Francis Ellis]

Roosevelt went there.

[H. Foley]

Teddy or Franklin?

[Francis Ellis]

Teddy went there, I think. Did Franklin go there as well? He might have.

[Kevin Ryan]

Don't want to catch that.

[Francis Ellis]

Include the graduate schools. It's like if you include the law school rooms, right?

[Kevin Ryan]

They watch his bed down. I don't want to be fucking rolling out of here. All right, that's. That's uncouth.

[H. Foley]

No, I meant for his high school. He's got to be.

[Kevin Ryan]

What high school did you go to?

[Francis Ellis]

Yarmouth High School.

[Kevin Ryan]

Yarmouth.

[H. Foley]

Yarmouth. Just so you know, on the Harvard Lacrosse website, 6 3, 2, 1. 5 is a senior.

[Francis Ellis]

Oh, yeah.

[H. Foley]

What are you sitting at now?

[Francis Ellis]

210.

[H. Foley]

210. You lost five.

[Kevin Ryan]

That's crazy. 15 years ago or. What year did you go? 10 years ago.

[Francis Ellis]

You graduated like closer to 15. I was 2011.

[Kevin Ryan]

You've only fluctuated five. Dude, I'll do that today. I'll do five pounds today.

[H. Foley]

Hold on real quick. Senior year, seven goals, 14 games.

[Francis Ellis]

No, that was. That was over the course of my career.

[H. Foley]

Oh, your whole career?

[Francis Ellis]

Yeah, because I scored. I think I scored seven my freshman year.

[H. Foley]

Yeah, that's seven goals.

[Francis Ellis]

I quit my sophomore and junior year, and then the coach got changed senior year, and he asked me to come back because he had been under the original group that had recruited me.

[H. Foley]

Gotcha.

[Francis Ellis]

And so I came back, but by that point, I didn't. I wasn't very. I wasn't.

[Kevin Ryan]

Took two years off.

[Francis Ellis]

Yeah. I lost two years of Division 1 lacrosse senior year.

[H. Foley]

One assist, one goal.

[Francis Ellis]

Yeah.

[H. Foley]

Probably a couple of coeds in there too, though, huh?

[Francis Ellis]

There you go. Yes. Why do we call them coeds, by the way? What a weird.

[H. Foley]

I don't know.

[Kevin Ryan]

That's only girls. I've never seen a bunch of dudes be like, look at those coed.

[Francis Ellis]

I bet you telling ladies with the fact that colleges for so long were all male, that when you added when you spoke with women and you're like, now it's coed. The new co. Eds.

[H. Foley]

That's John Adams and Herbie Hancock talking. Henry Hancock, Johnny. Either way, All American high school lacrosse player. All American high school lacrosse player. Senior year, three time all state.

[Kevin Ryan]

Pretty good. Not a notable alumni. God damn it, dude.

[Francis Ellis]

Does Yarmouth High School have notable.

[Kevin Ryan]

They got a long list. Wikipedia.

[Francis Ellis]

They have a long list.

[Kevin Ryan]

No, they have a weak list.

[Francis Ellis]

Yeah, I would think so.

[H. Foley]

Has he not on there?

[Kevin Ryan]

Goddamn American Internet personality. Got a middle distance runner, a president of Nichols College, and then a girl who died in a dui.

[H. Foley]

Jes.

[Francis Ellis]

I don't need to be on that list. Pass. We'll. We'll save our. Save our chips for Harvard.

[Kevin Ryan]

I'm still not on mine. Yeah, let's make. Let's make a big pledge to get you on Harvard. I'm still not on mine. Which is bullshit.

[H. Foley]

Why would you be?

[Kevin Ryan]

I don't know. There's other comedians on there. Got good stuff.

[H. Foley]

Kevin. Let's talk about sheath.

[Kevin Ryan]

Let's go. Sheath. OG Sheath.

[H. Foley]

OG Sheath. That's right, pinhead. Best underwear in the absolute biz gang. If you're not familiar with sheath, you better. Because they're gonna be your fun, nice underwear. Cause what they do, they have state of the art technology where you separate your wiener from your berries. Keep you cool and dry all day long.

[Kevin Ryan]

That's right. Two Twigs gets its own VIP suite. And the berries get to hang out on their own private pool. No chafing, no Sticking. Just pure comfort. 24. 7. Also premium fabric. That was big for me. I was always buying cheap underwear myself. Bada bing, bada boom. They sent us one pair each. Here you go. And then I ate them up. I got Buddy. I'm obsessed with this stuff.

[H. Foley]

Keep coming.

[Kevin Ryan]

Sends it by the box. Load force. I buy it for myself. I buy it for people. I go, listen, you're not living till you try cheese. It's fantastic. And also, shout out to Robert. We've met him at Skank fest a couple of Times. He's a U.S. army veteran and overall great dude. Actually invented the underwear while he was in Iraq. Shout out to you where you know your balls get super hot out, buddy. I wouldn't. It Listen, if I was in Iraq, all I'd be thinking about was underwear myself because I'd be stuck like a. Like a wet sponge down there trying to stay dry. So here's the deal. Head over to sheath.com, use the code garbage to get 20% off, and get yourself a pair of the only underwear that makes you feel less like a slob and more like a gentleman. Well, that's the least. From the waist down. Sheath underwear. Because even garbage deserves to be comfortable. Sheath.com promo code garbage.

[H. Foley]

Do it. Yeah, Kim, let's talk about Rocket Money.

[Kevin Ryan]

Rocket Money.

[H. Foley]

Rocket Money is a personal finance app that helps find and cancel your unwanted subscriptions, monitors your spending, and helps lower your bills so you can grow your savings. That's what I'm talking about, baby. We got all these subscriptions out there that we don't know about. You get Rocket Money, they find them. You want to get rid of them.

[Francis Ellis]

Boom.

[H. Foley]

You get them right out of your way. They save people a lot of money. Do yourself a favor. Get over to Rocket Money.

[Kevin Ryan]

Yeah. Seeing all your subscriptions in one place and knowing exactly where you're going was a big thing for me. Listen, everything's like two, two clicks, and you're signed up. You double tap your free trial.

[H. Foley]

This free trial.

[Kevin Ryan]

You're signed up, and then you go to quit. You taking your kidney. They don't know you're in it anymore. You signed up for this a month above whatever. They're screwing you, and Rocket Money's trying to stop that. I was signed up for some weird online viewing fights or so I don't know what it was. It was bad. And then I was like, what am I paying 2499 for rocket money? Be a couple hit, couple tabs. A couple hits at a button. I get my cash. Rocket Money has over 5 million users and has saved a total of $500 million in canceled subscriptions, saving members up to 740 a year when using all the apps premium feature, which I highly recommend they email me every week going, hey, just the heads up. This is what's. This is the automatic payments that are hitting this week. You spent 800 more this week, 200 less. Whatever they got their eye on, they got the eye on a prize. Cancel your unwanted subscriptions and reach your financial goals faster with Rocket Money. Go to Rocket Money.com garbage a day. That's RocketMoney.com garbage RocketMoney.com garbage do it. I got this. This happened very recently. I was out to dinner, right? And I got to dinner is my family, my wife, my brother in law, my nephew. And we got hummus and you know, pita for like an appetizer.

[H. Foley]

Okay. And I know where this is going.

[Kevin Ryan]

On your shirt. So we're waiting for the entrees to come. You know what I mean? I got a couple of beers in me, but it's a long time. We're in Europe, so it's a little stretched out over there. They're not, you know, they're not burning and turning tables. You're in. You're in it. I'm a little hungry. I'm a little peckish. So I take a fork, there's no pita left. And I dip right into the hummus. Take a bite of that. And I got looked at like I was an animal.

[Francis Ellis]

By your people at your table or by the rest people at the table?

[Kevin Ryan]

Which to me, by other people, that'd be crazy. Like I'm eating in a fish tank. Stop the whole restaurant. I. I realize it's not classy, but is that because I caught a lot of flack for it by the listeners who are dirtbags themselves but were like, that was nuts.

[H. Foley]

I gave him shit for it, but for a different reason. Just because hummus by itself is kind of weird and gross.

[Francis Ellis]

Yeah, that's a. That's a tough mouthful. It's so grainy.

[Kevin Ryan]

And that's why I'm in the business, baby.

[Francis Ellis]

Yeah.

[Kevin Ryan]

I don't know what to tell. That's got good mouthfeel.

[Francis Ellis]

I can't remember the last time I was so upset with how long a restaurant was taking that I would mainline hummus. I can't recall what would if, say.

[Kevin Ryan]

If you saw that, would you be like, that's un.

[H. Foley]

Would you let them take it? Do you let them take things that aren't completely finished even though that's the end of the course.

[Francis Ellis]

We had run out of vessels with which to eat the hummus.

[Kevin Ryan]

It was out. We were out of stuff.

[Francis Ellis]

Might have said either. I probably would have said, hey, may we have a few more pieces of pita?

[Kevin Ryan]

Some carrots, my friend over here.

[Francis Ellis]

Sub vegetables, anything colorful. Let's not do more pita.

[H. Foley]

What?

[Francis Ellis]

Yeah, I prefer to have fresh vegetables with hummus.

[H. Foley]

Cucumber's not bad.

[Francis Ellis]

Cucumber?

[Kevin Ryan]

You bet your arch.

[Francis Ellis]

Yeah.

[H. Foley]

You know what sucks is a cherry tomato. Those things don't grab anything.

[Francis Ellis]

They don't. It's sheer. They're very sheer. Very sheer.

[H. Foley]

I don't even know why. They're like. Dude, you get that in the ranch. Dip in the middle, you get from the grocery store. You're going at least half a fingernail in there.

[Francis Ellis]

Yeah, yeah.

[H. Foley]

They just got no grip on them. You know what I mean?

[Francis Ellis]

There's no structural integrity. No. Whatsoever.

[H. Foley]

And then when you bite that thing, it fucking blows up in your mouth.

[Francis Ellis]

You better keep your teeth closed.

[Kevin Ryan]

Sure.

[H. Foley]

Yeah.

[Kevin Ryan]

All right. Okay. I mean, I knew I was wrong, but I was. I was shocked at how wrong I was.

[Francis Ellis]

My take on this would be if. If you know the group of people that you're with so intimately that you. They know you, they know this is what you're gonna do.

[Kevin Ryan]

They better have fucking known me.

[Francis Ellis]

It's fine. If I were with a group, I.

[Kevin Ryan]

Wouldn'T have done it.

[Francis Ellis]

Didn't know that. Well, I'm not. I'm not going in to the dip with a fork.

[Kevin Ryan]

It's not just. It's more of a spread. Okay, sure.

[Francis Ellis]

It's not a dip, but it's. Again, spread.

[Kevin Ryan]

Dip.

[Francis Ellis]

Whatever it is, both of those words imply that it's going on something. There's another verb that isn't. Yeah.

[H. Foley]

Are you. Are you a lasso? The appetizer guy? Like, if there's still, I don't know, a fucking clams casino sitting there. You gonna. Are you. Will you pull the trigger?

[Francis Ellis]

I am so aggressive, unfortunately.

[H. Foley]

Because I figured you could go either way in this.

[Francis Ellis]

Look, here's what it is. I have a gigantic appetite, and I always have 215. And everybody knows this about. I was. I'm down to 200. 210. 210.

[H. Foley]

Now who goes down?

[Francis Ellis]

It's been a journey.

[H. Foley]

Only offensive lineman in the.

[Francis Ellis]

I've lost 0.2 pounds a year.

[Kevin Ryan]

That's crazy, dude. That's.

[Francis Ellis]

I mean, for 13 years.

[H. Foley]

Are you at your ideal weight? Is this for you?

[Francis Ellis]

I'm fine. Yeah.

[H. Foley]

Are you A couple more weeks, I'll be there.

[Kevin Ryan]

Trying to get to 818 is my area. Good. That's also.

[H. Foley]

I gotta get the tattoo to make sense.

[Kevin Ryan]

I was always. I was always shocked. I was always shocked. That was never that. Clearly not us, but I was just never that. I was always shocked when people be like, what do you weigh? And they're all like, 212, 215. I'm like, you can that. You're like, that's how small your window. I mean, they're also. I didn't step on a scale for a long time, but if you were to ask me, I've been like 240, 290. Like, I really. I really can't call it. You know what I mean?

[H. Foley]

Morbidly obese.

[Kevin Ryan]

Sure, Heifer.

[Francis Ellis]

That's what the cardiologist.

[H. Foley]

But go ahead. I'm sorry. So you have. You have a Big Apple.

[Francis Ellis]

I like it when you guys do that stuff. I always forget how folksy this podcast is.

[Kevin Ryan]

I mean, that's even a good word for it.

[Francis Ellis]

We come in and you're doing this like, bing, bang, boom, pinball intro. And I always love that. It's just, it's. It's charming or old school.

[H. Foley]

Francis, what is your caloric intake a day? What are you, about 2,500?

[Francis Ellis]

I do I eat a lot? You'd be surprised. I mean, it's mostly healthy food.

[H. Foley]

See, dudes in shape, they can go like sometimes. That's what I mean. At the table, you might be like, I don't give a fuck. I'm going in. What's anybody gonna say to me? I'm.

[Francis Ellis]

You know what I mean? So that's. Okay. So that's exactly what I was gonna say. There's an entitlement for sure. I size up the people around me. There's some dainty females they're not eating stiff on.

[H. Foley]

And you have no self consciousness. Like, if I. If I'm.

[Francis Ellis]

I've been in situations, I have a shot clock. If that thing has been sitting there and we've gone around the table, everybody's.

[Kevin Ryan]

Had one, they're telling stories, whatever.

[Francis Ellis]

One or even two left, and there's. Nobody's picked up another one and it's starting to get cold. I'm thinking you guys have silently agreed that it's fine for someone else to take another one. And if I go for it and someone says, hey, we should probably divide that or something.

[H. Foley]

Who would say that?

[Francis Ellis]

Like, someone you're dating would scold you for that.

[H. Foley]

Okay, that just hit you.

[Kevin Ryan]

I'VE never seen you understand something so quickly in my life.

[Francis Ellis]

Yeah, well, as a someone who knows you intimately might say, like knows you.

[Kevin Ryan]

May not need it.

[Francis Ellis]

Let's see if someone else might want some.

[H. Foley]

So I do that. That's what I'm saying. As an in shape guy, you don't have any hang ups about that.

[Kevin Ryan]

His is in shame. His is going. These are going. Yours.

[H. Foley]

Mine's all shame based.

[Kevin Ryan]

You're leading with shame. He's going, no one's gonna think I'm fat here. Clearly.

[Francis Ellis]

But wait, why does your shame compel you to do it?

[H. Foley]

Not to do it.

[Francis Ellis]

To be.

[H. Foley]

He's fighting to now because everyone's gonna think, oh fucking. This happened the other night with a piece of saganaki. To be honest with you, I don't.

[Francis Ellis]

Know what that is.

[H. Foley]

It's.

[Francis Ellis]

I thought that was a motorcycle.

[Kevin Ryan]

250Cc Saganaki. He ate a motorcycle.

[H. Foley]

We got a couple Suzuki's over here. It's. It's fried cheese. It's a. It's a Greek dish. It's fried kefaliteri or halloumi cheese.

[Francis Ellis]

Oh, nice.

[H. Foley]

A little bit of light burning. Delicious. Little bit of tomato sauce and a little bit of lemon. Fantastic. But there was one piece left and nobody was fucking with it. And when I made the move, I could feel the.

[Francis Ellis]

Yeah. Oh, we. Of course.

[H. Foley]

So there it is, a shame based thing. We had an incident in.

[Francis Ellis]

Did you grab the halloumi? The last piece?

[H. Foley]

Oh yeah.

[Francis Ellis]

And did anyone react? Did anyone react?

[H. Foley]

It got quiet.

[Francis Ellis]

You both have now qualified yourselves by saying, I picked up the check. Yeah, that's.

[Kevin Ryan]

Fuck you, I'm paying for that. You can't judge me. I mean a mouthful. I got a mouthful of hummus.

[H. Foley]

That's a lot of shame.

[Francis Ellis]

I find that combative from both of you.

[H. Foley]

What?

[Kevin Ryan]

Why I got to have you back once a month.

[Francis Ellis]

It's as if someone were to say it makes me think that you're ready with that meaning if someone were to smack your hand as you're going for the last piece of Lumi, you've been like, oh yeah, I'm fucking paying for it.

[H. Foley]

I wouldn't say that. No, I would.

[Kevin Ryan]

I would think it real hard.

[H. Foley]

Yes. I would say.

[Francis Ellis]

I think you're both approaching what at what? How you want to eat and dine in your own way. Defensively.

[Kevin Ryan]

Yeah, they made fun of her.

[Francis Ellis]

And I don't. I want you to enjoy yourselves. I don't think you should be having that.

[H. Foley]

Can I tell you this? In most company that in most Circles that, that, that I'm running with family wise or whatever. I want to be the one to pick up the check because I want to be able to order and eat the way that I want to.

[Francis Ellis]

Spot on.

[H. Foley]

Does that make sense?

[Francis Ellis]

I couldn't agree more. I couldn't agree more.

[H. Foley]

And I like to set that tone.

[Francis Ellis]

I absolutely agree with that. But what I've learned, because I fucking love this. I have been out with a group of, you know, my significant other and her friends. Just girls really. And they. Girls are. When it comes to dining, they are scoring chicks. No. You know, whatever. They're communists. They. It's all. We're sharing everything, no matter what.

[H. Foley]

I love that.

[Francis Ellis]

I used to think, well, that they don't know they're going to completely underestimate the needed amount because they'll always be like, would anyone like to steer the ship? Why don't you just order for all of us? And it's like, you better fucking count three of me because.

[H. Foley]

Wait, you're letting one of them do that?

[Francis Ellis]

Look, this happened once and never again.

[Kevin Ryan]

He's not over it.

[H. Foley]

Are you crazy?

[Francis Ellis]

Here's, here's the flip. Ready? So they'll order what they think is enough.

[H. Foley]

And then girl from Murray Hill order for you. What are you out of your mind?

[Francis Ellis]

Certainly not Murray Hill. I would never date a girl from Murray Hill that's classy to me.

[H. Foley]

I'm like, damn.

[Kevin Ryan]

You know a girl who's got a place in Muriel.

[Francis Ellis]

Yeah. Oh, we're going back to your two bedroom that's been converted into a four. Gonna have sex behind your built in wall.

[H. Foley]

I'm living in one of them now. Damn, what's she doing for a living?

[Kevin Ryan]

Are they hiring?

[H. Foley]

You only got four roommates. Braun's killing it.

[Kevin Ryan]

Okay.

[Francis Ellis]

What I've learned is that if I worry that they're not ordering enough food, the flip is that women tend to be peckish around each other and they don't eat that much. And I can come in gotcha, and scoop up.

[Kevin Ryan]

They don't want to go, like, I made a whole plate. A whole plate of calamari or whatever.

[Francis Ellis]

You can take advantage of their body dysmorphia, their eating disorders to actually satiate your.

[H. Foley]

I always. If I'm eating with my wife, I know for a fact, whatever. And we're great with that. Like, we eat very well together. Like, we like to both try different things and share everything. But I know that I'm getting the back. The back half of that chicken.

[Francis Ellis]

Yeah, yeah.

[H. Foley]

Or, you know, I'm getting the other half of that burger.

[Francis Ellis]

Right, right, right, exactly. In addition to whatever there really is. I hate to say it, and I'm not trying to be, you know, some fucking old fashioned douche, but like the.

[Kevin Ryan]

Broads got small brains now.

[Francis Ellis]

Getting the lion share thing, you know, There is something of that.

[H. Foley]

Yeah.

[Francis Ellis]

And there's another part of this that is a phenomenon that I have grown quite fond of, which is that if you get into a car for a long drive or even a short drive with a group of your buddies and let's call it an SUV, and there's like 5 of sport utility. When my friends, if I. If I'm with a group of sort of smaller guys and I. And they say, frame, why don't you sit up front? You're tall. And I'm like, no, no, that's okay. And they're like, no, no, no. You go. And they give me shotgun without even having to call it. I appreciate that.

[H. Foley]

Sure, sure.

[Francis Ellis]

That's really nice. And it also, I don't know now.

[H. Foley]

If they didn't, would you just take it?

[Francis Ellis]

Well, they've done it so often that now I almost would be shocked if it didn't.

[Kevin Ryan]

If they were like, no, I got it.

[Francis Ellis]

Some 5 foot 8 guy just hopped up front and I had to clamor, choke him out of the back seat and hold my knees under my jugular. I'm gonna be like, who's this fucking twerp? You know?

[Kevin Ryan]

Great use of twerp, by the way.

[H. Foley]

You'd be vicious as a bully.

[Kevin Ryan]

Well, get your psycho.

[Francis Ellis]

I got, I got bullied. I don't like bullying.

[Kevin Ryan]

I hate bad bull.

[H. Foley]

Who bullied you in high school?

[Francis Ellis]

Yeah. Middle school. Middle school redhead, big time. People made fun of me for having red hair.

[Kevin Ryan]

That's the go. That's always that.

[Francis Ellis]

But it's fun. It's funny too. Like in all the Adam Sandler movies, a lot of Disney movies, the redhead is always the bully. All the O'Doyles were. Redhead.

[Kevin Ryan]

All the O'Doybles were. That's immediately who I thought of.

[Francis Ellis]

Yeah.

[Kevin Ryan]

Wow.

[H. Foley]

Yeah.

[Kevin Ryan]

Also the kid in training, Irish in a bit Incredibles.

[H. Foley]

Wasn't he the kid with the.

[Francis Ellis]

Yeah, yeah, but he. He was kind of was. He became the bad guy because.

[H. Foley]

Because Mr. Incredible was. Was a dictator.

[Francis Ellis]

Was overlooking him.

[H. Foley]

Yeah, that's true.

[Francis Ellis]

The bullied become the bully.

[Kevin Ryan]

You meet it. Let's say you meet. You know. Yeah. Somebody sets you up. Hey. My roommate so and so. She's a classier, classier lady of New York, you know. What? I mean where. What is. If you're trying to impress. What does a date a classic. Because I would just go, let's go grab a drink. And it would be at like, I would Google like classy place to take a lady. I don't know anything.

[Francis Ellis]

Look, I'm at a point in my life again now where I don't need, I don't want to do bullshit.

[H. Foley]

I want to say stuff like that. I'm at a point in my life.

[Francis Ellis]

Well, I've been. I've been married and divorced and now I've. I guess I'm single again and like look into mingle. What? What? You know, it's a totally different landscape. I'm not looking to bullshit my way into bed with a 25 year old. Of course, of course I want to. I can't. I'm not going to want to go on a second date with someone if our conversation isn't interesting.

[Kevin Ryan]

So is that. So is that first conversation you're. You hit it off via text or whatever and then a dude. Is it a. Is it a coffee? Is it a drink? Is it a dinner?

[Francis Ellis]

I mean in my ideal world, we just go for a walk.

[H. Foley]

A walk?

[Francis Ellis]

Yeah, go walk for freezing apps around the reservoir. A reservoir? You know, go walk along the river.

[Kevin Ryan]

It's free Canada goose.

[Francis Ellis]

It's free.

[H. Foley]

No apps. Something. I wouldn't be calling you back.

[Francis Ellis]

You take me on a walk if that walk is.

[H. Foley]

What am I?

[Francis Ellis]

A German shepherd builds up an appetizer. Maybe we wander into. Oh, let's go get some soup.

[Kevin Ryan]

Let's warm me to the bone.

[Francis Ellis]

Yeah, let's get some soup.

[H. Foley]

If this is walking around the reservoir, you end up at Jacob's Pickles. Maybe an appetizer.

[Francis Ellis]

Best have a six egg omelet. Whatever it happens, a couple of protein. They put six eggs in each omelet.

[Kevin Ryan]

Really?

[Francis Ellis]

Yeah.

[H. Foley]

I like that.

[Francis Ellis]

That's a lot of eggs.

[Kevin Ryan]

That's pretty good.

[H. Foley]

You know, I don't know who this was. It was just. It was a different story. But I heard maybe it was. Is Baltazar a restaurant?

[Francis Ellis]

Yeah, that's in Soho that they do.

[H. Foley]

An egg yolk omelet.

[Kevin Ryan]

Just a yolk.

[Francis Ellis]

That's interesting.

[H. Foley]

That's what I'm talking.

[Francis Ellis]

Well, that's where James Corden famously barked at the waiter for not bringing his wife's food out.

[H. Foley]

Oh, maybe that's what it was. Maybe he ordered and that might actually be the story. That's what I took away from that story.

[Kevin Ryan]

Holy shit.

[H. Foley]

Doing all yolks.

[Francis Ellis]

Yeah.

[Kevin Ryan]

Let's go. Okay. I mean that's a classy. I would never think. I would never. I would go. There's, you know, McGillen's Irish Pub or whatever.

[Francis Ellis]

To me, having an all yolk omelet is like asking for a steak and having them cut all the lean out of it and leave just grizzle.

[Kevin Ryan]

We should start doing that.

[H. Foley]

Just grizzle.

[Francis Ellis]

Yeah. Because I have hereditarily I have high cholesterol, so I actually try to avoid egg yolks if I can. Now I'm on a rosuvastatin. So I, you know.

[H. Foley]

Rosuvastat.

[Francis Ellis]

So am I. Yourostatin.

[H. Foley]

Yeah, I take rosuvastatin almost out by the. The way I take that and I. Metropo fall. Something like that.

[Francis Ellis]

I don't know that one.

[Kevin Ryan]

So it killed Michael Jackson?

[H. Foley]

No, that's.

[Kevin Ryan]

Jesus Christ, big man, you're a walking time bomb.

[Francis Ellis]

Retropa fall is where Superman lives.

[Kevin Ryan]

It's crazy. This guy's doing doc prescribed.

[H. Foley]

Really? You're on a statin?

[Francis Ellis]

Yeah, yeah.

[Kevin Ryan]

Genetics crazy.

[Francis Ellis]

Yeah, I mean there's. I have a.

[Kevin Ryan]

This just makes you feel sticky.

[Francis Ellis]

Lipid probe.

[Kevin Ryan]

Yeah, I know him. He's going, what? Francis?

[Francis Ellis]

Couple of them.

[H. Foley]

Six dozen omelets.

[Kevin Ryan]

He's gonna do. He's gonna throw this in my face in like a week. When I try to. When I tell.

[Francis Ellis]

Six dozen egg omelets. 72 eggs.

[Kevin Ryan]

That's good math too.

[H. Foley]

Jesus Christ.

[Kevin Ryan]

I was gonna say 36.

[Francis Ellis]

Just a chicken genocide on my plate.

[Kevin Ryan]

Would you ever do a chicken omelette?

[Francis Ellis]

Yeah, I don't have any issue with that.

[Kevin Ryan]

Really Crossing the protein.

[Francis Ellis]

Get out of here.

[Kevin Ryan]

It's too much chicken. I like chicken. That's too much.

[H. Foley]

How long you been on a Rostatin?

[Francis Ellis]

A couple years now.

[H. Foley]

No kidding?

[Francis Ellis]

Yeah.

[H. Foley]

Huh.

[Francis Ellis]

My cholesterol.

[Kevin Ryan]

Couple of good looking guys.

[H. Foley]

Get out. Ladies.

[Francis Ellis]

If you need. If you need extras. I have some extras if you're running out.

[H. Foley]

No, no, I just gotta. Just gotta re up. They keep me. I got a scholarship over there.

[Francis Ellis]

Punch card.

[H. Foley]

Yeah.

[Francis Ellis]

They know nine refills and the 10th one has no co pay.

[H. Foley]

They know it's chronic.

[Kevin Ryan]

It's pretty good insurance.

[Francis Ellis]

Yeah.

[Kevin Ryan]

Is there any circumstance or where you would wear underwear under a bathing suit?

[Francis Ellis]

No, no. You know, absolutely not. Are you saying that even like. Because in. In when you go to a store, if you're trying on a bathing suit, there's always a sign that says you.

[Kevin Ryan]

Need to try it on with underwear.

[Francis Ellis]

I guess I would do that, but I wouldn't try. I don't try on bathing suits. I just assume it's gonna fit.

[H. Foley]

You don't buy underwear with the. With the. With the mesh, do you?

[Kevin Ryan]

No.

[Francis Ellis]

No.

[H. Foley]

You see, wearing board shorts.

[Francis Ellis]

I'm sorry, a bathing suit.

[Kevin Ryan]

You said underwear with mesh.

[H. Foley]

Wait, no. Yeah.

[Kevin Ryan]

Trying to picture the hell are you into, big man?

[Francis Ellis]

That sounds like porn.

[Kevin Ryan]

No wonder why you're chafing down there.

[H. Foley]

Jacked up on that Rostatin.

[Francis Ellis]

Your data is like gold to hackers. They're selling your passwords, bank details and private messages.

[H. Foley]

McAfee helps stop them. Secure VPN keeps your online activity private. AI powered text scam detector spots phishing attempts instantly.

[Francis Ellis]

And with award winning antivirus, you get.

[H. Foley]

Top tier hacker protection.

[Kevin Ryan]

Plus you'll get up to $2 million.

[H. Foley]

In identity theft coverage. All for just $39.99 for your first year.

[Francis Ellis]

Visit McAfee.

[H. Foley]

Cancel anytime terms apply.

[Francis Ellis]

Have you ever spotted McDonald's hot crispy fries right as they're being scooped into the carton and time just stands still?

[H. Foley]

No. You only buy bathing suits that don't. So you don't buy a bathing suit that has the mesh.

[Francis Ellis]

I have a few of those.

[H. Foley]

You cut it out? I cut it out.

[Francis Ellis]

No, I don't.

[Kevin Ryan]

I cut it out.

[H. Foley]

Slices me up down there.

[Francis Ellis]

Yeah. Bad. I'm sorry. That. That doesn't sound comfortable.

[H. Foley]

It hurts.

[Kevin Ryan]

Turns it into a hammock.

[Francis Ellis]

Why don't you just buy bathing suits that don't have the mesh?

[H. Foley]

I thought that was just board shorts. And those things don't have elastic waistbands.

[Francis Ellis]

I think you can. There's a lot of bathing suit companies out there. You could do. You could find something that suited all.

[H. Foley]

Your needs because I brought it. I brought. I bought a nice bathing suit from the whale one. Boneyard?

[Francis Ellis]

No, Vineyard Vines.

[H. Foley]

Yes.

[Francis Ellis]

Boneyard.

[Kevin Ryan]

It was a boneyard when you got done with it.

[H. Foley]

I got a nice whale.

[Kevin Ryan]

That whale wasn't happy.

[H. Foley]

I got a nice one of there for. For when I was over in Hawaii for the wedding and I was trying to fucking rip the mesh out with.

[Francis Ellis]

With your teeth.

[H. Foley]

The can opener. Because that's only was in the thing. And I ended up breaking the bathing suit.

[Francis Ellis]

Even worse. Yeah.

[H. Foley]

So I had to wear the same bathing suit. The whole.

[Francis Ellis]

I'm saying there are companies that make bathing suits. You won't have amputate in order to feel comfortable wearing their. Their bathing suit.

[H. Foley]

Okay.

[Francis Ellis]

Their trunks. Yeah.

[Kevin Ryan]

Not gonna take him up on that, are you? I've been. He doesn't do anything. He just complains about the clothes that.

[H. Foley]

He has be nice if Francis took me shopping.

[Francis Ellis]

Yeah, we could do that. I like that.

[Kevin Ryan]

What am I chopped liver all of a sudden?

[H. Foley]

He got me one shirt.

[Kevin Ryan]

I got your nicest shirt. You own Brooks Brothers that you then wore every day until you wore a hole in it.

[H. Foley]

My shacket.

[Francis Ellis]

We got to go to this place in Denver. I'm telling you. Do you guys have any shows coming up there right now?

[H. Foley]

But we're due to be back there.

[Kevin Ryan]

We are due to be back.

[Francis Ellis]

Go. Go to this place. I'll get you the name.

[H. Foley]

And they're not gonna have anything that fits, dude.

[Francis Ellis]

They absolutely will. It's like workwear stuff, buddy. I'm, you know, it's. It's American made for Carhartt. Shit.

[Kevin Ryan]

Cool.

[H. Foley]

Everybody's wearing Carhartt now though.

[Francis Ellis]

Carhartt's great.

[Kevin Ryan]

Stickies.

[H. Foley]

I gotta find my brand.

[Francis Ellis]

What do you mean everyone's wearing Carhartt now. I'm giving you good brands and answers and now all of a sudden you're saying, well that's, that's, that's yesterday's clothing brand. I need the new and the new cutting edge. I can't be seen wearing the same thing everyone else is wearing.

[Kevin Ryan]

As you're currently wearing a pink hue style Dilbert shirt.

[H. Foley]

This is Oak Hill.

[Francis Ellis]

That looks lilac to me. Oh, we call that lilac bordering on lavender.

[H. Foley]

I call it raspberry yogurt.

[Kevin Ryan]

I call it. You washed it with a red sock.

[H. Foley]

I think.

[Kevin Ryan]

If I had to guess.

[H. Foley]

Do you stick to that very strictly? Do you only wash coloreds and whites together?

[Francis Ellis]

I do. I do abide. But like if I'll do. If I have some white socks or T shirts that I need to be done quickly because I'm running low on that.

[H. Foley]

Sure.

[Francis Ellis]

I'll throw those in with the colors.

[Kevin Ryan]

Do the batch you need and just.

[Francis Ellis]

Do it all on cold.

[H. Foley]

Hmm. Pretty good. Everything's almost put together. This guy, he is sharp gate.

[Francis Ellis]

Wait a second. There needs to be said. Like when I was married, you know, we had a division of chores.

[Kevin Ryan]

Sure.

[Francis Ellis]

And that I had to sort of like she would do the laundry, I would do the dishes and cook, whatever, you know, let's call it. So when I went to live alone, there were definitely like stain removal was a skill I had to learn. Sure. Because she was our resident stain remover.

[H. Foley]

And he took a six month class at Columbia for it.

[Kevin Ryan]

Did it at night.

[Francis Ellis]

Part of learning to live alone and be on your own and be okay with that and stave off loneliness is becoming self sufficient. So the skills Of I do laundry almost obsessively to ignore, fight off the demons, the fact that no one else is there to do it for me.

[H. Foley]

That's dark.

[Francis Ellis]

That's, you know, not to be sad.

[H. Foley]

Try watching a little tv.

[Francis Ellis]

Yeah, I do. I do. While I'm doing laundry.

[H. Foley]

Pickleball.

[Francis Ellis]

Yeah.

[Kevin Ryan]

Do you do pickleball?

[Francis Ellis]

I have. I like pickleball.

[Kevin Ryan]

Or are you the classier paddle kind of guy?

[Francis Ellis]

Yeah. Good for you for saying it correctly because a lot of people would say.

[Kevin Ryan]

Padel, I'm not a fucking asshole. I know. Andrew Schultz.

[Francis Ellis]

Yeah. Yeah. But the problem with calling it paddle is that there's also paddle tennis, also known as platform tennis. And those two run in similar circles because those are both very wealthy, like, high end country club enclave.

[H. Foley]

Are you talking about paddle ball, like on the beach?

[Francis Ellis]

No, paddle tennis is platform tennis, which is played in a wire fenced in court with a very rough court. It's a winter sport. The court's always heated, but it's outdoors.

[H. Foley]

Huh.

[Francis Ellis]

And then there's Padel paddle, as you correctly said, Kevin, where paddle is on turf and has glass walls with a little bit of wire.

[H. Foley]

Okay.

[Francis Ellis]

Now pretty similar.

[Kevin Ryan]

What?

[H. Foley]

I'm out. Either way.

[Kevin Ryan]

I always thought squash was the fanciest one. And I only knew. I knew one rich kid that played squash.

[Francis Ellis]

You could argue it is.

[Kevin Ryan]

Okay.

[Francis Ellis]

I mean, in the. In the pantheon of elitist racket sports, that's a deep. That is a. I would say platform tennis is the most elite. Paddle is probably second. Squash would be third.

[H. Foley]

That's racquetball.

[Francis Ellis]

No, squash and racquetball are slightly different. Racquetball is a much bouncier ball.

[H. Foley]

Okay.

[Francis Ellis]

Squash, the ball is very flat and doesn't bounce very high.

[H. Foley]

Huh. I play racquetball once or twice on my own.

[Francis Ellis]

Rag ball's fun.

[Kevin Ryan]

Yeah, if you're a heathen.

[Francis Ellis]

Yeah.

[Kevin Ryan]

Okay.

[Francis Ellis]

All right. Pickleball is, I would say, the most universal.

[Kevin Ryan]

That's like my. Your aunt, you know?

[Francis Ellis]

Yeah. Someone can set up a Fisher Price net on a cord in Washington Square park and, you know, play with bang away.

[H. Foley]

What'd you think about that guy kicking that dude in the face in that pickleball tournament a few months ago?

[Francis Ellis]

Yeah, I saw that. Yeah. That was grotesque.

[H. Foley]

What would your move have been if.

[Francis Ellis]

He had done that to me? Yeah, you're going down shoving the business end of the pickleball racket up his ass. What are you doing? You're fight. You're fighting me now?

[Kevin Ryan]

Sure.

[Francis Ellis]

You know what I mean?

[Kevin Ryan]

That's not What? That's not what. A paddle man wouldn't do that. Sure.

[Francis Ellis]

No, no, for sure not.

[Kevin Ryan]

You're a man of principle, right? You block the shoulders, people can't pass by the parking. You're a very man of principle for society.

[Francis Ellis]

I like written rules, I like the unwritten rules, and I like people who abide by them. I think that society breaks down when people take liberties and say that, well, all these people are obeying by what we. By the social contract. Yeah, but therefore I'm going to take advantage of their agreement. These sheep who are just following along.

[Kevin Ryan]

Now what we were doing. Let's say you're at the grocery store.

[Francis Ellis]

Sure.

[H. Foley]

Which.

[Kevin Ryan]

Where are you shopping nowadays, by the way?

[Francis Ellis]

Whole Foods.

[H. Foley]

Whole Foods, religiously.

[Francis Ellis]

Yeah, I just said that's where I trust the quality of produce to end fish to be.

[Kevin Ryan]

What kind of fish you getting?

[Francis Ellis]

I'll God. You know salmon. I like the cod. I do a Mediterranean preparation with dill blistered tomatoes and some garlic and it's. Yeah. A nice spice rub.

[Kevin Ryan]

Slipping out of my seat.

[Francis Ellis]

It's pretty easy.

[H. Foley]

Do you have an air fryer? I got a couple of tomatoes you can blister. Nothing on that.

[Kevin Ryan]

Rude.

[H. Foley]

Yeah, we do have an air fryer.

[Francis Ellis]

Yeah, you got to go air fryer. Air fryer is a revolutionary.

[H. Foley]

We actually do. When we do salmon, we'll do it in the air fryer.

[Francis Ellis]

That's so good.

[Kevin Ryan]

Kills it.

[Francis Ellis]

So good. You do a nice salmon with a nice rub and then a little hot honey on drizzle on top.

[Kevin Ryan]

Watch out how often you clean in that air fryer.

[Francis Ellis]

I put it in the dishwasher after each use. My tray is. Yeah, yeah. Especially fish.

[Kevin Ryan]

Oh, man, you do not want to eat out of my air fryer.

[H. Foley]

Do you do all the dishes? If you're making dinner at home, I.

[Francis Ellis]

Can'T go to bed. I cannot go to bed without the kitchen being spotless.

[H. Foley]

Really?

[Francis Ellis]

Yeah. Again, these are fucking manifestations of probably loneliness.

[H. Foley]

That's pretty good.

[Kevin Ryan]

Yeah, I can let it ride if it works. It's working. You know what I mean?

[Francis Ellis]

Yeah.

[Kevin Ryan]

But say you're at Whole Foods, you're picking up, you know, filet sets of salmon, you know, really quick.

[H. Foley]

Oh, you want to talk about salmon?

[Francis Ellis]

They have Whole Foods now has this eu, European Union, organic, organic salmon. It's farm raised, but it's organic and it's cheaper.

[H. Foley]

So what's the feed?

[Francis Ellis]

I don't know what they're eating.

[H. Foley]

Does it have the color of wild caught?

[Francis Ellis]

It looks nice, huh? It looks nice. You Know you can't get the wild caught king, which is the creme de la creme.

[Kevin Ryan]

It's the paddle.

[H. Foley]

Sure.

[Francis Ellis]

You can't get that fresh for most of the winter. That really has a small season.

[H. Foley]

Right.

[Francis Ellis]

And they say it's not sustainably fished, you know, so I don't know what. But. But it's like also 34 bucks a pound.

[H. Foley]

It's expensive.

[Francis Ellis]

It's insane. It's a special treat fish. It's a trophy fish.

[Kevin Ryan]

An stf.

[Francis Ellis]

I only buy it if I've won.

[Kevin Ryan]

A trophy, which I've been killing it recently.

[Francis Ellis]

Yeah. But the step there's a couple steps down, you know, you could go sockeye or coho.

[H. Foley]

Sockeye.

[Francis Ellis]

Very lean. Very lean. Hard to cook because they're so lean, they just get very dry very quickly. But then there's, you know, your nice.

[H. Foley]

Farm raised whatever, Atlantic salmon.

[Francis Ellis]

That's fine. That's fine.

[H. Foley]

Is it? I thought that was real bad for you.

[Francis Ellis]

Who knows, man?

[H. Foley]

Who knows the feed they put in.

[Francis Ellis]

I tell you, if your vice was that every night you were eating farm raised salmon, you could probably stop getting those rosuvastatin refills pretty soon. Tell you what, I just can't get enough of that. I know. It's killing me.

[H. Foley]

I'm a grass fed kind of man.

[Francis Ellis]

I know the problem is the farm raised Atlantic salmon. I eat every night.

[Kevin Ryan]

He does that, doc.

[H. Foley]

It's all climate change.

[Kevin Ryan]

He had a matcha tea today. I'm like, we're gonna hear about this for the next three weeks.

[H. Foley]

Yeah, I had a nice matcha tea.

[Francis Ellis]

Matcha tea's nice.

[Kevin Ryan]

You got to get off that call.

[H. Foley]

Matcha tea because the caffeine hits me too hard and then I have like a little crash from it and then my sugar goes a little low and I got to have a little something sweet to bring it up.

[Francis Ellis]

A lot of people are switching to matcha. I've never heard anyone call it matcha tea, though.

[H. Foley]

Really? Is that because of the thing like chai is chai.

[Francis Ellis]

It's just redundant. I think. I think everyone knows that matcha is.

[H. Foley]

I'm a redundant kind of guy.

[Francis Ellis]

Yeah.

[H. Foley]

Cheeseburger.

[Francis Ellis]

Cheeseburger. It'd be like saying, yeah, I had an espresso coffee today. A cup of espresso coffee.

[H. Foley]

Espresso.

[Francis Ellis]

By the way, espresso falls under the family of coffee.

[Kevin Ryan]

Coffee, yes, sure.

[Francis Ellis]

But my point, I had an espresso.

[H. Foley]

The other night, Zambuca with it.

[Francis Ellis]

Nice, not an asshole. That's a nice little whipped cream there. Is the There is the organic EU salmon, which. Which is a nice middle ground. It's like 20 bucks a pound.

[H. Foley]

And what's your fruit? What do you like to pull in fruit? What's your order look like?

[Francis Ellis]

Walk me through. What's a basket at Whole Foods look like?

[H. Foley]

Is that what you gotta bring your own bag?

[Francis Ellis]

The handbag or the hand at basket?

[H. Foley]

You bring a bag with you.

[Francis Ellis]

I try to remember to. They stay, you know, they don't look at you. Well, if you don't, sure.

[H. Foley]

But you can buy them there.

[Francis Ellis]

I don't do that. I have too many.

[Kevin Ryan]

What are you putting your pockets.

[Francis Ellis]

I have. If I don't bring bags, then I do the paper bags.

[Kevin Ryan]

Okay.

[Francis Ellis]

Okay. And they don't like you to do that.

[Kevin Ryan]

Yeah, fuck them.

[Francis Ellis]

They look at you judgmentally.

[Kevin Ryan]

Oh, you mean the balls. The people who work for Amazon. They judge you. What are we doing here? What are we doing? Come on, get my farm.

[H. Foley]

Raised salmon.

[Kevin Ryan]

It's not like I'm bringing my own plastic bags. I'm buying a goddamn brown bag that you sell.

[H. Foley]

I'm surprised you're a cod man. So back to your basket. What's your basket?

[Francis Ellis]

Okay. We starting in the produce section. I'm getting.

[H. Foley]

And what are you getting for a couple of days?

[Francis Ellis]

The week depends on how long I'm in town for. I always think ahead. I don't like throwing out food.

[H. Foley]

Okay.

[Francis Ellis]

I feel stupid if I have to toss food out.

[H. Foley]

I'm with you.

[Francis Ellis]

I don't eat it all before I leave.

[H. Foley]

I got a couple of avocados that love to be at your house right now.

[Francis Ellis]

Yeah. You know, you can put those in the fridge. And they, they really last if you catch them before they've go. They're up past their prime.

[H. Foley]

Uh huh.

[Francis Ellis]

They. They're fine in the fridge.

[H. Foley]

Will you eat it with a little black stuff in there?

[Francis Ellis]

Yeah.

[Kevin Ryan]

Cut it out or eat the black.

[Francis Ellis]

I don't. It depends on how dark.

[H. Foley]

Tastes like pennies.

[Kevin Ryan]

Yeah, I lose it sometimes. They're too stringy too. It's like, what the hell is shoelaces in here? Dude, Shit's whack.

[Francis Ellis]

I'm with you.

[H. Foley]

Those things go quick.

[Kevin Ryan]

Sometimes I'll open one and just chuck it. I go, I'm not having avocado.

[Francis Ellis]

I get it, I get it. I don't have a problem with that. Produce. We're doing bananas, organic bananas a bunch. And I count them out because I eat one a day with my breakfast. I'm going broccoli. Like a big head of broccoli.

[H. Foley]

Okay.

[Francis Ellis]

I'm going sweet potatoes. That's a huge staple because you can just microwave sweet potatoes and they come out perfectly. I go, might do some carrots because I like to roast carrots.

[H. Foley]

Gentlemen, do the tricolor to straight up.

[Francis Ellis]

Yeah, Tri colors are nice. I like that. Tricolored carrots, kids. Good. I'll do Brussels. I love Brussels sprouts. And then I move from there on to fish. I'll get a couple heavy fish diet. Yeah, a lot of fish. And then if I'm, you know, treating myself over the weekend and then I know I'm going to be cooking over the weekend, I'll do a steak. I'll do a nice steak kind of cut. You doing probably either a New York strip or, I don't know, maybe a tomahawk. If I'm like, Jesus Christ. If I'm really balling out, you know, a golden crusted.

[H. Foley]

You'll make yourself a dinner like that and sit at the table and eat it.

[Francis Ellis]

That's lonely.

[H. Foley]

That's real lonely.

[Francis Ellis]

Luckily, I have laundry going.

[Kevin Ryan]

The sound of the dryer to hug me.

[H. Foley]

He's still serving family style on the table.

[Francis Ellis]

Yes.

[Kevin Ryan]

He's playing all the characters.

[Francis Ellis]

I have my clothes drying out that can't go in the dryer. Just sitting on the chairs around me. Yeah. How's the wine treating you, Francis?

[H. Foley]

How was it today?

[Francis Ellis]

I figured a man of your cashmere would love the Riesling.

[Kevin Ryan]

Would you like more tricolor carrots, Mr. Scarf? Oh, God.

[Francis Ellis]

It's like I'm just honoring ghosts.

[Kevin Ryan]

All right, let's say you got your basket. You're all set for the couple, two, three days, whatever it is. You got your tomahawk, you got your whole. Let's. I don't know what it is at Whole Foods. What the mark off for the express lane. If they. They have to do express lane. Like 12 items or less, right?

[Francis Ellis]

Yeah. I mean, it's where I. The one I go to. It's either self checkout or, you know, someone who's going to help you.

[H. Foley]

He's probably counting grapes at the fucking well.

[Kevin Ryan]

That's what I'm saying. Say you're. Will you get into if you are in that, you know, 12 items or less. Say you got 15 items.

[Francis Ellis]

Great question.

[Kevin Ryan]

What is the cutoff point for you? Obviously it's a gentleman's handshake. Hey, we're agreeing. You got 14, you can hop in, no problems. But is there. And would you ever say anything to anybody? If someone's in front of you with.

[H. Foley]

A full car, he's blocking traffic on the gw.

[Kevin Ryan]

What are you talking.

[Francis Ellis]

Such a great question. That's such a great illustration. Welcome. The unwritten rules and one that unfortunately. No, I would not police that.

[Kevin Ryan]

Okay?

[Francis Ellis]

I wouldn't.

[Kevin Ryan]

It's not your fight. If someone is 20, has to get.

[Francis Ellis]

Down here, someone has 20 items in their cart, right? And they go to the 12 items or fewer line, those eight extra items, how much time is that taking up? That I would have. Do you know what I mean?

[Kevin Ryan]

Half a minute.

[Francis Ellis]

You're talking 30 seconds. Every car that goes by on the shoulder while I'm sitting in traffic that then merges in ahead is adding probably a minute or two to my life.

[Kevin Ryan]

Sure.

[Francis Ellis]

And you can only take so many minutes of your commute home. Getting longer and longer. Before you say.

[Kevin Ryan]

Before you kill somebody. Sure. Before you kill everybody.

[Francis Ellis]

On the other bike in the 12 or fewer lines had 20 items in their thing. And they're standing there and they're adding more items to their basket. And it's. It's really starting to get up towards 25, 30. Then I might say something. Hey, listen, you're not even fucking close.

[Kevin Ryan]

We got a rule here.

[Francis Ellis]

Do you see the sign? You know, if they're ahead of me.

[Kevin Ryan]

Behind you, it's not your problem.

[Francis Ellis]

I'm not really.

[Kevin Ryan]

Well, see, but you're. You're a man of honor.

[Francis Ellis]

You have to fight people who don't.

[H. Foley]

Have a But that mean you'd be turning around, scoping the line like a psycho.

[Francis Ellis]

Welcome to but if I'm not gonna do it, who will?

[Kevin Ryan]

Yes. See, he's Batman.

[Francis Ellis]

Yes.

[H. Foley]

Ask him how he would react to your situation in the line where the guy tried to cut you off at getting on the plane.

[Kevin Ryan]

Right. I was. I was flying. A guy got. For some reason, everybody tried to cut in front of me. I was going to. I was going to Germany, flying up front as you do, you know, but guy cut in front of me, Right. You were kind of in my head. I also had about four or five beers in me at this point, waiting.

[H. Foley]

He was drunk.

[Kevin Ryan]

I was drunk, and a guy stepped in front of me, and I had already. I had already checked one or two people, and now the people around me are vibing that I'm kind of the guy.

[Francis Ellis]

Why. Why are you being cut? Are you.

[Kevin Ryan]

I.

[H. Foley]

Because he's a pussy.

[Francis Ellis]

Are you, like, looking around? Are you missing them?

[Kevin Ryan]

What do you mean?

[Francis Ellis]

Are they just. Are you.

[Kevin Ryan]

Well, the lines are all. Hey, the lines are all fucking conglomerated.

[Francis Ellis]

Yeah, yeah, Right?

[Kevin Ryan]

Because they're like.

[H. Foley]

That's not the right word.

[Francis Ellis]

I get it though.

[Kevin Ryan]

It's a melting pot. What do you want from me?

[Francis Ellis]

It's a confluence of streams.

[Kevin Ryan]

That's exactly what I was gonna say. Rivers merge to one like a tributary. Hear what I said?

[H. Foley]

To brackish water.

[Francis Ellis]

So no, it would all be fresh.

[Kevin Ryan]

Farm raised, but EU certified.

[Francis Ellis]

I'm going to call you. I'm going to call it. If we miss the mark on something.

[Kevin Ryan]

I appreciate it. So it was all mixed match and then somebody came in, it was like, oh, this is Group, Group 2. But they were in the group and they just. I just go, hey, buddy. Line starts back there. But then the next guy came. At this point I had already had. I was like, also, what's this guy gonna fight me at an airport? Like, you know, this is the one place he's not gonna fight you. Good looking guy, pretty big, nice suit on him. German guy, probably fuck me up.

[H. Foley]

Sharp dude.

[Kevin Ryan]

Sharp dude. He starts merging over. Like he's standing not in the line. He's like, oh, what's going on? Slowly just, you know, he's already hot. Inch by inch, kind of. I'm like, if he breaks. If he breaks my line of shoulder, you know what I mean? Like if he gets into. In front of me, I got a. So he got in front of me and I fucking boop boop. Tapped him on the shoulder. I said, excuse me, sir, what group are you? And he goes, I'm group one. I go, oh, they are great. They already boarded. You can go board then because they had just boarded. And he goes, ah, he's not group one, he's group two. And he's. He lied to me. So he tries to. He's like, ah, nah, I'm group one. I go, good for you, man. There you go. You get on.

[Francis Ellis]

You knew. Did you know?

[Kevin Ryan]

I know he's not. There's seven guys that are group one.

[H. Foley]

He also doesn't just think he's a pussy. He thinks he's stupid.

[Kevin Ryan]

Me.

[H. Foley]

Yeah.

[Kevin Ryan]

And he's. I think you think I'm a pussy.

[Francis Ellis]

He's playing stupid himself. Himself.

[Kevin Ryan]

Yes.

[Francis Ellis]

And hoping that he'll. He'll get away with it.

[Kevin Ryan]

Yeah. So he goes, oh, this bozo won't.

[H. Foley]

Realize what's going on.

[Kevin Ryan]

I'm just looking for my friend. Oh, I know. I'm just looking for my friend.

[Francis Ellis]

I'm so happy about this story.

[Kevin Ryan]

I love it.

[Francis Ellis]

It's just delicious.

[Kevin Ryan]

So then he's got a. Now he. The, the power has shifted because like, he was just like, I'm gonna. This guy. Nobody's gonna say anything. And he's being the dick. Like, I'm. I don't. Everybody's agreed that this is how you do it. I'm gonna say, fuck that. And, you know, no one's gonna have the balls to say something. I said something. And now he thought. He's like, I'm looking for. And now he's fake looking. And I'm like, that guy's got to go home. I was like, yeah. He's like, maybe he's in the back. I'm like, yeah, get the out of here. He went back. So I go, that guy's got to fly the whole time going, man, I just had to. I just fake looked for a guy at a terminal. Like, that makes me so happy that I'm like, he's got to put his head on the pill and go, man, I acted. And not.

[Francis Ellis]

Well, yes.

[Kevin Ryan]

That I was looking for something.

[Francis Ellis]

And maybe. Maybe it means he will be less likely to do that.

[Kevin Ryan]

Do it again. He got caught.

[Francis Ellis]

And that is how the world works more efficiently.

[Kevin Ryan]

Me and Francis are starting a podcast.

[Francis Ellis]

Efficiency. I love efficiency. This shit doesn't happen.

[Kevin Ryan]

It's all about stains and standing up for yourself.

[Francis Ellis]

Doesn't happen in Japan. It doesn't happen in Sweden. It doesn't happen in places where people just, like, do the shit that they're supposed to.

[H. Foley]

Nobody's cutting the line in Sweden.

[Francis Ellis]

I get it. No.

[H. Foley]

All that chocolate.

[Kevin Ryan]

You could go over there and take over.

[Francis Ellis]

I don't think so. Look, I know that we are a country that is built on questioning authority and rebelling. That is in our DNA, getting ahead.

[H. Foley]

At any cost, baby.

[Francis Ellis]

We're also a country that complains to no end about things that don't work. And a lot of the reason that things don't work is because people aren't doing it the right fucking way. Which is obvious. Sure. A lot of the time it's obvious. We all know how it's supposed to work, and people just refuse because they're assholes. And that's how things break down. That guy's an asshole. That guy that you and you called him out. There's a way that that's supposed to work. Group one, group two. We know. Everybody knows.

[H. Foley]

So you would have done the same thing. Somebody cuts in front of you, it's on.

[Francis Ellis]

Yeah, I would have definitely spoke into that.

[Kevin Ryan]

What a. Give him a tombstone. What are you talking about?

[Francis Ellis]

I love that you handled. You handled it with grace.

[Kevin Ryan]

Thank you.

[Francis Ellis]

Because I might tell him that I. Yeah, you didn't like you didn't hands it with hops. Yeah, you know, you. You get. You let him hang himself.

[Kevin Ryan]

That's. That's what then. I never operate like that. You know, we're. We're.

[H. Foley]

Are.

[Kevin Ryan]

We're cut for more of the cloth of, you know, I. My boy, your tickets are better than my. Like, Yeah, I paid for this type thing where I was just like, you know. You know what? I'll let you embarrass yourself.

[Francis Ellis]

If you see something, say something.

[Kevin Ryan]

Here's this guy's like a titan of industry. He's wearing a suit. I assume he's got a pretty good job. I don't know. He thinks he's flying business class. He thinks he's better than me. And then he's got to do this like. You know what I mean? Like he's got to go to a shareholders meeting. And being the guy that did this because some fat bald drunk guy said, sir, I don't think you're. I don't think this is your group.

[Francis Ellis]

So. Good. Good for you.

[Kevin Ryan]

There you go. I hear that.

[H. Foley]

It came out.

[Kevin Ryan]

I spit at him by accident.

[Francis Ellis]

That's why that makes me so happy. What a great story.

[Kevin Ryan]

Thank you. Oh, man. You hear that? Love it. But we gotta wrap it up, gang.

[H. Foley]

What a fun one.

[Kevin Ryan]

What a great one.

[H. Foley]

Mr. Ellis, we love you, buddy.

[Francis Ellis]

Thank you. I love you guys. Always.

[H. Foley]

Always great to have you in a little touch, tone. You know what I mean? If I know the. The right and wrong things to do.

[Francis Ellis]

Sure.

[Kevin Ryan]

Yes.

[Francis Ellis]

Very good.

[H. Foley]

Stay on my Rostatin. Yours cherry flavored because mine, you're chewing them, but you're not. I gotta get that shit in me quick. What do you got coming up? You want the folks out there to.

[Francis Ellis]

Know I'll be in D.C. this weekend. Okay. At the Comedy Loft and then Providence in April.

[H. Foley]

Providence.

[Francis Ellis]

And then I'll be, oh, in New Jersey at the Stress Factory in March. I think it's March 8th. Saturday.

[Kevin Ryan]

Love it.

[Francis Ellis]

Yeah. So tickets@punch up.live. francis Ellis.

[H. Foley]

Very nice. Let's do my son of a boy, dad. Check him out over there on barstool. One of the funniest, one of the best, one of the coolest. Guys, we love you, buddy.

[Kevin Ryan]

Yeah, man. One of my faves.

[H. Foley]

What do you got for him?

[Kevin Ryan]

Guys, we're all over the road as well. Second show at it in Pontiac, Michigan at the Crow football room. Low ticket alert on all the shows and some of them are during the week, so we can't add a second show. So get your tickets. Now act while supplies lays.

[H. Foley]

Francis, we love you.

[Kevin Ryan]

Yeah, ma'am.

[Francis Ellis]

Thanks, guys.

[H. Foley]

Gang, we love you. And we'll see you next week.

[Francis Ellis]

Peace.