Smoking at Disney w/ Kippy & Foley!

Summary

Podcast Summary: "Smoking at Disney" – Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast

Episode Overview In the February 13, 2025 episode of Are You Garbage?, hosts Kevin Ryan and H. Foley dive into a lively and humorous discussion centered around their upcoming "Route 66" comedy special. Titled "Smoking at Disney w/ Kippy & Foley!", the episode blends behind-the-scenes insights from their tour with their signature comedic banter, listener-submitted jokes, and playful interactions with their producer, Luke.

1. Introduction and Route 66 Special Announcement The episode kicks off with Kevin and H. Foley enthusiastically introducing their latest project—the "Route 66" comedy special. Filmed during their extensive tour along the historic Route 66, the special promises a blend of city-specific comedy, candid moments on the bus, and various antics encountered on the road.

• Kevin Ryan [00:05]: "It's a special we shot on the Route 66 tour. It includes comedy from each city, a bunch of behind the scenes on the bus. I'm talking beers, heaters, someone shits their pants. It's a whole thing."

They emphasize the grassroots approach of releasing the special on their YouTube page, urging listeners to subscribe and participate in the live premiere on February 25th.

2. Behind the Scenes of the Route 66 Tour The hosts provide an in-depth look at their Route 66 tour, detailing the cities they've visited, such as Chicago, St. Louis, Tulsa, Oklahoma City, Albuquerque, Flagstaff, Las Vegas, and Los Angeles. They share anecdotes about performing at state fairs, exploring dive bars, and interacting with locals, showcasing the authentic American experience.

• H. Foley [02:44]: "It's a real slice of Americana."

They discuss the logistical challenges and financial investments involved in producing the special, highlighting their dedication to delivering genuine and unfiltered content to their audience.

3. Family Episode Banter Transitioning into a more relaxed segment, Kevin and H. Foley engage in playful banter about production roles and responsibilities. Their conversation reveals the dynamics behind the scenes, including humorous exchanges about titles like "executive producer" and the day-to-day tasks handled by their producer, Luke.

• Kevin Ryan [05:05]: "What's the bad one? What's. What's is producer. What's the better producer?"
• H. Foley [05:20]: "I want line producer. I got to put the cash up."

This lighthearted dialogue underscores the camaraderie and humorous tension among the team, adding depth to their on-air personas.

4. Listener Questions and Comedy Bits A significant portion of the episode is dedicated to responding to listener-submitted questions and jokes. The trio tackles a range of topics, from everyday dilemmas to absurd scenarios, infusing each response with their unique comedic style.

• Listener Submission [34:35]: "Ever call shotgun while being taken into police custody? I call shoddy."

  • Kevin Ryan [34:36]: "That's a good time."

• Listener Submission [35:07]: "What is garbage if you refer to something that is transparent as see through?"

  • H. Foley [35:07]: "That's the dumbest way to say that."

These interactions not only entertain but also engage the audience, showcasing the hosts' quick wit and improvisational skills.

5. Interaction with Producer Luke Producer Luke plays a pivotal role in the episode, often interjecting with his own jokes and comments. The interplay between Luke and the hosts adds another layer of humor and unpredictability to the conversation.

• Luke [05:28]: "That's the bad one. Yeah."
• Kevin Ryan [06:37]: "What?"

Their dynamic highlights the collaborative effort behind the podcast, emphasizing the importance of each team member in creating a cohesive and entertaining show.

6. Conclusion and Upcoming Projects As the episode nears its end, Kevin and H. Foley reiterate their excitement for the upcoming "Route 66" special and encourage listeners to support their ongoing projects, including the "Back on the Block" tour.

• Kevin Ryan [66:34]: "Yes. And we're all over the road. The Back on the Block tour. Tickets are moving, shows are selling out, and as we're doing one run, so we're gonna can't add shows everywhere. So get your tickets now. Don't snooze because you're gonna lose."

They wrap up with heartfelt thanks to their audience, reinforcing their connection with the "army of garbage" that supports and inspires their comedic endeavors.

Notable Quotes

• Kevin Ryan [03:09]: "We're not spinning yarns. You know what I mean?"
• H. Foley [06:14]: "I have GERD and a little Barrett's esophagus."
• Kevin Ryan [34:35]: "Ever call shotgun while being taken into police custody? I call shoddy."

Episode Highlights

• Route 66 Special: Detailed overview of the special's content and production.
• Comedic Banter: Engaging interactions between hosts and producer, showcasing their chemistry.
• Listener Engagement: Responding to audience submissions with humor and relatability.
• Upcoming Projects: Promotion of future tours and special releases, maintaining audience interest.

Conclusion The "Smoking at Disney" episode of Are You Garbage? expertly balances promotional content with genuine comedy, offering listeners an entertaining glimpse into the lives of Kevin Ryan, H. Foley, and Luke. Their authentic interactions, combined with clever humor and audience engagement, make this episode a standout addition to the podcast series.

Transcript

[H. Foley]

Gang, breaking news from here at Antuties. We are about to drop the Are you Garbage? Comedy special.

[Kevin Ryan]

Yeah, it's a special we shot on the Route 66 tour. It includes comedy from each city, a bunch of behind the scenes on the bus. I'm talking beers, heaters, someone shits their pants. It's a whole thing. Are youe Garbage? YouTube page. Sign up subscribe now. Live premiere February 25th. Let's go.

[H. Foley]

Welcome to another exciting edition of Are youe Garbage? The show where you find out if your favorite comedians are classy individuals, individuals or absolute trash. Now here are your hosts, Kevin Ryan and H. Foley. Hey, everybody out there. And welcome back to everybody's favorite podcast. This is Are you Garbage? Hey, it's that little show. We sit down your favorite comedians and we find that at the group to be classy. Yeah, but they're just a big old piece of trash.

[Kevin Ryan]

Garbage.

[H. Foley]

I'm your host, H. Foley. Coming at you on a beautiful day. We're out back here at Tooties in the new edition. She's upstairs, just got her brand new dress.

[Kevin Ryan]

Okay.

[H. Foley]

For the big Route 66 premiere. I told this dumb broad we're not doing a premiere like that, okay? She's trying to get Jon hamm as her plus one.

[Kevin Ryan]

She's dressing up as the youth for the YouTube premiere.

[H. Foley]

I said it's just virtual, honey. There's no red carpet.

[Kevin Ryan]

It's the Internet, toots. This ain't on Netflix.

[H. Foley]

Ain't the Golden Globes, baby. There's no brick and mortar. We're online passing savings on the. You Mike Hollows is coming at you from a. Across the table is what we call family episode. Just the boys, the bozos and the homies. He is the CEO of Are you Garbage? He is an international businessman and the executive producer of the feature documentary Route 66.

[Kevin Ryan]

Sure.

[H. Foley]

Kevin. James Ryan, everybody.

[Kevin Ryan]

What up? Get my scarf and lower the lights. What up, gang? Shout out to you. First of all, thanks for tuning in. As always, please make sure you rate review. Subscribe on itunes. Full video available on YouTube. Also full video available on Spotify. Then the greatest website of all time, www.patreon.com. are you garbage? You go over there, you get all that bonus content. But that's not why. That's not what we're here to talk about. There's been rumblings you may or may not have heard. You may or may not have seen a post the Route 66 special. Big man coming out. The boys are doing an RU Garbage special. It encompasses two weeks of us on the road, all the cities we've hit. On the Route 66 tour special. Yeah, it's a tour special. So there's a lot of stuff from the stage, from Chicago, St. Lou, Tulsa, Oklahoma City, Albuquerque, Flagstaff, Las Vegas, Los Angeles. Lot of behind the scenes stuff. Lot of fucking on the bus, at the hotels. The boys hit a state fair in Oklahoma.

[H. Foley]

It's a real slice of Americana.

[Kevin Ryan]

Go to a couple of dive bars, meet with the locals. Really rubbing elbows with the salt of America, with the salt of the earth people.

[H. Foley]

The biggest thing we've ever done, biggest production. This.

[Kevin Ryan]

A lot of money. Money. But we're not. We don't. This is. This is why we fought. Listen. Oh, let's pull the curtain back. We're an honest pot over here. We're not spinning yarns. You know what I mean?

[H. Foley]

We.

[Kevin Ryan]

This was an idea we had and we wanted to do it. We wanted to make it look really cool. And the best way to do it and the best way to do it was very expensive. And we decided to do it and pass the savings on to.

[H. Foley]

You could have gotten to a bidding war. Sure. Gone to streamers and this and that. Forget all that. We're going right to the source, right to the people. YouTube, baby.

[Kevin Ryan]

Nintendo was all over us. Sony said. No, no, listen, we. We obviously kicked around some ideas of sending to people and stuff like that and what people want, but, like, that's genuinely not what we make content for. We make stuff that we think's cool and, you know, for. For the fucking army of garbage. And we really think you guys are gonna like this. Like we said, it's a lot of.

[H. Foley]

Just on stage goddamn time.

[Kevin Ryan]

It's a good goddamn time. It's me and the big man fucking, you know, bickering, laughing, fucking doing the whole. Not catching a lot of heaters. This is. We were stolen the heaters.

[H. Foley]

At this time, I was smoking lot of heaters. A lot of basketball shorts. Not as many as I should have brought with me.

[Kevin Ryan]

A lot of top. Someone may or may not have shit themselves just throwing that out there. And we may or may not have all that on camera. You know what I mean? No, it's a good time. We really. We really made it. Hoping you guys, with you guys in mind, thinking you guys would really enjoy it. So it's on the youth. This is the biggest thing we've ever done to date. We need you guys to kind of rally behind it.

[H. Foley]

Yeah, absolutely.

[Kevin Ryan]

It's on February 25th on our YouTube page. There'll be a link for the premiere, we're going to be in the live chat. The whole nine yards share with a friend, the whole just let's ground grassroots.

[H. Foley]

This thing upswell got too on there with a nice tight cocktail dress. She's wearing that dress JLo wore back in the day.

[Kevin Ryan]

That green one, man, I used used to tug my little root at.

[H. Foley]

I didn't know they meant that.

[Kevin Ryan]

That was like the Kardashian sex tape before that happened.

[H. Foley]

Sure. She showed up in that thing spicy.

[Kevin Ryan]

We all went to seventh grade going.

[H. Foley]

Did you see Tony's got hers in a double xl, so don't get too excited.

[Kevin Ryan]

You'd be falling out of that.

[H. Foley]

I didn't ask you about that. What is the below the line situation? Am I an executive producer?

[Kevin Ryan]

What's the bad one? What's. What's is producer. What's the better producer?

[H. Foley]

I want line producer. I got to put the cash up.

[Luke]

That's the bad one.

[Kevin Ryan]

Is it?

[Luke]

Yeah.

[H. Foley]

Son of a bitch.

[Kevin Ryan]

Give me rank of. Rank of producers on executives.

[Luke]

The best.

[Kevin Ryan]

Okay, well, I'm executive producer.

[H. Foley]

Okay.

[Kevin Ryan]

I'm sex. You have producer. Yeah. You would be executive producer.

[H. Foley]

I got points on the back end.

[Kevin Ryan]

What I don't do. I mean, we're taking a bath on this thing. Our kids aren't gonna be able to go to college.

[H. Foley]

How about a couple of snacks in the green room for the boys?

[Kevin Ryan]

Sure. I'll get you. I'll get you small bags of goldfish. What do you got?

[Luke]

Executive producer.

[Kevin Ryan]

What's executive producer?

[Luke]

Executive producer is the best.

[Kevin Ryan]

Yes. So we're executive producers.

[H. Foley]

Nice.

[Kevin Ryan]

Luke is a producer.

[Luke]

I'm a producer and a line producer.

[Kevin Ryan]

Why, what'd you do, cut up, chopped up your cocaina line?

[H. Foley]

There's no time to take any drugs.

[Luke]

Line producer handles the day to day of the filming, the.

[Kevin Ryan]

Sure.

[Luke]

Deadlines, stuff like that. Executive producers? The one responsible for financing the film.

[Kevin Ryan]

No, that was me. By the way. Let's all get on the show.

[H. Foley]

That was us. We talking about Dick. 50. 50. What? Yours is mine.

[Kevin Ryan]

What?

[H. Foley]

I debit card.

[Kevin Ryan]

That don't make sense.

[H. Foley]

Why?

[Kevin Ryan]

Well, the debt's yours too, then.

[H. Foley]

My debit card's not working, by the way.

[Kevin Ryan]

What's my pin? Someone tell me my pin. Yeah. All jokes aside, gang, check it the fuck out. We're really proud of it.

[H. Foley]

Very proud of it.

[Kevin Ryan]

I think it encompasses. It shows a good. A good version of what we do on the road and our live shows. And one of the cool things too, is the fans are definitely very profiled in this. The army of garbage is very. Is very much a part of. As much a part of it as we are.

[H. Foley]

To see yourself on TV there.

[Kevin Ryan]

Yeah, a lot of you made the cut. I'm telling YouTube. YouTube putting Cassie can fucking cast that right on the TV there.

[H. Foley]

Chicks don't know the difference.

[Kevin Ryan]

Your parents don't know the difference. Yeah, tell them you're on the news.

[H. Foley]

Tell you're a movie star, baby. Let's go.

[Kevin Ryan]

Yeah.

[H. Foley]

Can't wait.

[Kevin Ryan]

Yes. So check it out.

[H. Foley]

February 25th.

[Kevin Ryan]

Mm. But all that's neither here nor there, folks. We got a gosh darn family episode on our hands. As you know, when you sign up for the patreon over there, www.patreon.com, don't use the app. I don't want to get into that. But don't sign up on the. On the itunes app. They're taking 30% of everything. Don't do that.

[H. Foley]

You got a lot of caveats in this one, don't you?

[Kevin Ryan]

Oh, man.

[H. Foley]

Do this, don't do that. Well, listen, share this, don't share that.

[Kevin Ryan]

I gotta tell you, this business has ever changed. We're just a couple of couple idiots who call each other fat and bald, and the next thing you know, Apple's trying to wet their beat.

[H. Foley]

What a fucking winner. So far. I gotta say, I've been jammed up, man.

[Kevin Ryan]

Yeah, man. Our pets heads are falling off.

[H. Foley]

I was at a fucking CVS minute clinic this morning. That's. That's where I'm at.

[Kevin Ryan]

That's not where they time you when you jerk off. Got the record 8 seconds your pants were still on.

[H. Foley]

And go get a free case of prime for that out the door. Yeah, they got that everywhere, by the way. They got that in powder form now.

[Kevin Ryan]

I know everything's in powder form.

[H. Foley]

It is.

[Kevin Ryan]

Lime producer.

[H. Foley]

I saw they had Narcan at cvs. I didn't know they had that.

[Kevin Ryan]

Really?

[H. Foley]

Yeah. I would have gummy bears.

[Kevin Ryan]

That should be free right now. You know what?

[H. Foley]

It was like 28.99.

[Kevin Ryan]

I don't know if you've ever seen the ads where it's like, it's on you to carry Narcan and learn how to use it. I'm like, it's on them. Not do the bad drugs. I don't think it's on me to revive them. Right.

[H. Foley]

Get mad. You do that. If you knock them up, ruin the game. Yeah, that's 17 bucks I got to go out and fucking panhandle for again. Bad news. Yeah, that and milk. I always see them pouring milk. Down, down guys throats. And they're all fucked up.

[Kevin Ryan]

I think that's just that one video.

[Luke]

That was a challenge.

[H. Foley]

Challenge.

[Luke]

It was an Internet challenge to like milk like people like fent out.

[H. Foley]

Jesus. Really?

[Kevin Ryan]

Fentanyl Freakout. That's a new team in Kensington. In Kensington. Philadelphia. That's fucked up. It's an amateur hockey team.

[H. Foley]

But my skin's dry. Fucking I had the flu.

[Kevin Ryan]

Yeah. The boys are down bad.

[H. Foley]

Fucking brutal. Mm. Crazy.

[Kevin Ryan]

Rome has fallen.

[H. Foley]

Goddamn stinks. Can't wait to get to the spring. Summer, that's what. That's when the year really.

[Kevin Ryan]

I had a little glimpse of it today. I was walking my wife and the dog in the park for a nice little morning walk.

[H. Foley]

Hey, you saw me down the beach.

[Kevin Ryan]

What?

[H. Foley]

I don't know. You said he had a little glimpse. Said he had a little glimpse of it this. This morning. I thought you meant the summer.

[Kevin Ryan]

No.

[H. Foley]

Route 66, ladies and gentlemen.

[Kevin Ryan]

That comedy, like that's not going to be a route. I'm talking heavy hitting punchline.

[H. Foley]

I thought that was funny. I didn't get it. It was over your head comedically.

[Kevin Ryan]

I'm pretty sure we're gonna cut it.

[H. Foley]

I gotta do. I gotta do puppet shows for you. You're really slipping.

[Kevin Ryan]

What are you talking.

[H. Foley]

Try to keep up. My comedy is growing, becoming more and more intellectual. Okay. So try to keep up. It's not the same fat guy stuff anymore.

[Kevin Ryan]

What is it?

[H. Foley]

What's what?

[Kevin Ryan]

Who's on first?

[H. Foley]

I just did the summer bit which.

[Kevin Ryan]

Confused most of the room.

[H. Foley]

All of the room, theoretically. He got it. He just doesn't say anything.

[Kevin Ryan]

He doesn't want to. Piss off. I got a little. I got a little glimpse of summer in the park. And you said, would you catch me on the beach today?

[H. Foley]

Like, you know, would you see me on the beach? Like, that'd be a little glimpse of summer. Because I want to be like.

[Kevin Ryan]

I envision you and.

[H. Foley]

Yeah. Down ashore.

[Kevin Ryan]

You're really playing with the different meta worlds we got going on here.

[H. Foley]

Sure. More of a.

[Kevin Ryan]

This is like inception of a bad joke. You're bombing in multiple realities over here. Wake me up. Someone. Someone Throw them in a tub, quick.

[H. Foley]

I just think in some timeline I'm killing. If universes are infinite.

[Kevin Ryan]

Cut to a room full of people.

[H. Foley]

You going down. The shortest summer.

[Kevin Ryan]

What?

[H. Foley]

I'm going down.

[Kevin Ryan]

What the hell are you talking about?

[H. Foley]

Because we're gonna be off the road first of all.

[Kevin Ryan]

We're doing a showdown. The shortest summer.

[H. Foley]

Yeah.

[Kevin Ryan]

Yeah.

[H. Foley]

Don't think I'm not hitting Those tables either. I'm on a heater.

[Kevin Ryan]

The buffet table. Let's put a couple of these together.

[H. Foley]

I want a couple.

[Kevin Ryan]

I'm gonna have a lot of plates.

[H. Foley]

I want a couple of rooms down there, okay? Because I got my cousin talking to.

[Kevin Ryan]

Me like I'm your goddamn fucking travel agent.

[H. Foley]

Executive producer.

[Kevin Ryan]

You can get whatever rooms you want to get.

[H. Foley]

I got to get it myself.

[Kevin Ryan]

I'm commute.

[H. Foley]

They'll probably give it to me when I get down there. Once I hear what happened at Parks. Well, clean Those fuckers out. 2500. How you doing? Yeah, we're there.

[Kevin Ryan]

How they. How are they going to recover? How are they ever going to bounce back?

[H. Foley]

I got my cousin trying to push me to fucking state air that they're place in fucking MARGATE or whatever.

[Kevin Ryan]

AC July 19th. Tickets on sale now. They're moving quick. We're gonna be at the Borgata.

[H. Foley]

Down ashore. Me down ashore.

[Kevin Ryan]

Down ashore in a summer.

[H. Foley]

Yeah.

[Kevin Ryan]

Couple. A couple of local boys make good. Fuck this. Let's go to the shore.

[H. Foley]

I need some dry air. I need a humidifier. I need some. I need new sinuses.

[Kevin Ryan]

Why do you need dry air and a humidifier? Look at my wife. She's got more contraption. I feel like I work in a fucking boiler room.

[H. Foley]

I got another.

[Kevin Ryan]

She's got humidifiers, dehumidifiers, fucking infusers, diffuser.

[H. Foley]

That shit's no good for you. They found out those infusers. Hey, the oils. Seed oils, too, are bad. I don't know if you guys knew that. Watch out.

[Kevin Ryan]

You're the king of the. I heard one thing that's bad for you, so I'm gonna throw it in your face and it'll make me seem like I'm more healthy. You get off on going, oh, watch out for the seed oils. Meanwhile, you're. You're.

[H. Foley]

I cut them out.

[Kevin Ryan]

You're boofing. Cheesesteaks.

[H. Foley]

No, I'm not. Chicken cheesesteak. All right, let's quit screwing around.

[Kevin Ryan]

This is you.

[H. Foley]

You're family episode.

[Kevin Ryan]

No, you're screwing around.

[H. Foley]

I'm trying to tell you a little bit about me. My skin's dry.

[Kevin Ryan]

How you keep bringing that back?

[H. Foley]

It's dry.

[Kevin Ryan]

Get some lotion.

[H. Foley]

God, it don't work.

[Kevin Ryan]

You have to get more lotion.

[H. Foley]

I got the oils. I got all that stuff.

[Kevin Ryan]

You should not use those oils. I heard her bed.

[H. Foley]

It's not seed oil. It's coconut oil.

[Kevin Ryan]

How do you think a coconut grows?

[H. Foley]

Dogs are chasing me around a goddamn neighborhood. I do want to switch over to tallow. I just don't know where to score it.

[Kevin Ryan]

Beef tallow.

[H. Foley]

Aren't you a tallow guy? Not on my skin.

[Kevin Ryan]

Make your eggies with it.

[H. Foley]

Yeah.

[Kevin Ryan]

Wait, am I a tallow guy?

[H. Foley]

I thought you said you were.

[Kevin Ryan]

Now my wife will dabble with it.

[H. Foley]

You're a bone marrow guy.

[Kevin Ryan]

I like a nice bone. I like. I like getting drunk at one restaurant and eating their bone marrow. Cuz I feel fancy.

[H. Foley]

Sipping your beer out of a straw.

[Kevin Ryan]

Can I get a lid for this?

[H. Foley]

Can I get a Beck's and a coffee cup, please? All right, let's quit screwing.

[Kevin Ryan]

You quit screwing. Are you keep bringing up your dry skin like that's like breaking news or something. Shut it.

[H. Foley]

Need to summer. You got me. Got me thinking about the summer. I need a summer to get here quick.

[Kevin Ryan]

You brought it up, not me.

[H. Foley]

If I make it through the winter, it'll be a goddamn miracle. I feel like I'm on the Oregon Trail. You ever lose anybody on that? I lost everybody.

[Kevin Ryan]

My guys were getting lice left and.

[H. Foley]

Right before we left the general store, I had like 39 year olds fucking missing Comanches. Took them.

[Kevin Ryan]

Ran away from your boring stories.

[H. Foley]

Kids, where you going?

[Kevin Ryan]

Let me tell you about my dry skin.

[H. Foley]

They scalping themselves?

[Kevin Ryan]

These kids don't get my humor.

[H. Foley]

Speaking of which, there's a good movie on that.

[Kevin Ryan]

This is gonna be brutal. What A good movie on what?

[H. Foley]

No, never mind. I'm gonna save it.

[Kevin Ryan]

No, this is.

[H. Foley]

You guys want to know? Hit me up. No, I didn't. Call me.

[Kevin Ryan]

Hit me up. Go. What was the movie?

[H. Foley]

Running out of chat buddies. I got no chap. I called this dickhead the other night. Fucking didn't pick up with his girl or something like that.

[Kevin Ryan]

Yeah, man, I don't know what to tell you. You stink.

[Luke]

You call a lot.

[H. Foley]

I do. You're my friend.

[Luke]

I love it.

[Kevin Ryan]

That's not what he was. That's not. He was saying this morning.

[H. Foley]

I know he talks shit.

[Luke]

I get an attitude also when I hang up.

[H. Foley]

Sure.

[Luke]

What are you doing?

[H. Foley]

Nothing. What are you doing?

[Luke]

No, you're asking me what the fuck are you doing? I can't pick up my call?

[Kevin Ryan]

That's what you do. You call and if it rings too long you answer with oh, hey, what's up? What are you doing? You can't answer? I called you twice. That's what you do. You're like your mother. It's brutal.

[H. Foley]

Patty. Mama.

[Kevin Ryan]

All right, whatever. This, man. Yeah, we do. This one. This one never. This one never got into real Ray. We Started in Foleyville. We're gonna end in Foleyville. Oh, God. All right, let's get into it. This one. As you guys know, when you sign, I mean, this guy's got me up. I'm deep in Foleyville. I'm covered in cobwebs. I had a dreamer. A hamburger was eating me.

[H. Foley]

Should go to the diner. Diner in Foleyville. Delicious.

[Kevin Ryan]

You're just everybody. You're the guy at the counter. You're the waitress.

[H. Foley]

Mozzarella. Damn it, you stink.

[Kevin Ryan]

Even in Fullyville, you stink.

[H. Foley]

I need some nootropics.

[Kevin Ryan]

What?

[H. Foley]

Some neuro links. That's what I want to get that neuro link.

[Kevin Ryan]

You get multiple neural links, they start fighting each other.

[H. Foley]

Kevin. Talk about Shopify, baby.

[Kevin Ryan]

Shout out to Shopify.

[H. Foley]

Nobody. And I mean nobody. And this solar system does selling better than Shopify, baby. If you got an online business, do yourself a favor. Get Shopify home of the number one checkout on the planet and the one not so secret. With Shopify, that boosts conversations to 50%.

[Kevin Ryan]

Baby conversions up to 50 conversions. That means people are talking about it though. That means way less up. That's. That's due to roof. That means way less carts going abandoned and way more sales going through, baby. Listen, we got a lot of guy, a lot, a lot of hustlers out there, a lot of side work, a lot of people doing this trying to make keep the plates been and do something else on his side. Spotify easy for yourself. Shopify is where it's at. We're a Shopify company. If you've ever bought merch through we use Shopify baby. That it's the easiest. It's businesses that sell more sell on Shopify. I don't know what you're doing. If you're growing your business, your commerce platform, be ready to sell whenever and wherever your customers are going on the web, in your store, in their feed and everywhere in between, baby. Upgrade your business and get the same checkout as the AYG uses. Sign up for your $1 per month trial [e-mail] garbage all lowercase, by the way. Go to shopify.com garbage to upgrade your selling today. Shopify.com garbage do it, Ken.

[H. Foley]

We got time bout or frames, baby.

[Kevin Ryan]

Or aura or a big hit this.

[H. Foley]

Holiday season was aura frames. Now you got St. Patrick's Day. Get ready to go. You might have missed Valentine's Day, but wow. Or come St. Patrick's Day with a nice aura frame.

[Kevin Ryan]

You want your loved ones to think you love them when you really don't. Aura Frames, Daddy. My mom thinks I like her.

[H. Foley]

And listen, though, they are the best. Number one digital photo booth right there. Aura Frames. You throw it up on the mantel. You upload the pictures. Everybody gets to know what Billy, Timmy, Tommy, Bobby, everybody's doing. Keep up on the soccer games, keep up on their recitals. Or if you just out at a bar getting hammered and you want to send something to your grandma, spice it up a little bit.

[Kevin Ryan]

Or if you're a bit of a freak, you know, send one to your gal and you know said, spread eagle pit. Whatever you. Whatever you want to do, you can do. It's the frame for you, Daddy.

[H. Foley]

O. Whatever you decide to upload is on you.

[Kevin Ryan]

Yeah. It's unlimited storage. All you need is the free Aura app and a wifi connection. You can upload as many photos and videos as you want year round. Right now, you can save on the perfect gift that keeps on giving by visiting auraframes.com for a limited time. Listeners get up to $20 off their best selling Carver Matte FR with the code GARBAGE. That's Aura A U R A frames.com promo code GARBAGE. Don't forget to mention that the boy sent you so you support the show. Terms and conditions apply. $20 off. Use code garbage. Save on the gift that keeps on Giving. Exclusive $20 offer. Carver matt or frames dot com. Use code garbage to save a checkout. Do it. I was saying you need. I was talking today before you got in here. You need some sort of psychiatrist.

[H. Foley]

And I have one. I've been. I'm in therapy.

[Kevin Ryan]

I understand you need going. Well, you need one. In a perfect world, I would have been a psychiatrist who got embedded with you like those journalists for like. And like, live with a tribe for like.

[H. Foley]

What? Like Shutter Island.

[Kevin Ryan]

Yeah. And I just live with you and learn you. And you don't know because there's no way you're completely honest.

[H. Foley]

I can't watch that movie. Yeah, I am. I tell them everything.

[Kevin Ryan]

No, that's. That is a complete lie. Listen, and the fact. No. First of all, not one listener believes that.

[H. Foley]

I tell him what a dickhead you are.

[Kevin Ryan]

I tell him how I'm the cool.

[H. Foley]

Guy'S got no hair, doc busted my chops. I didn't like Shutter island the way they turned that on him.

[Kevin Ryan]

Hey, pinhead. This isn't your movie podcast. Shut up. Talk about movies from 18 years ago.

[H. Foley]

I thought he was a real FBI agent.

[Luke]

Same.

[H. Foley]

The pajamas. Should have thrown me off. It's a good film.

[Kevin Ryan]

I've never Seen it.

[H. Foley]

Really?

[Kevin Ryan]

I don't like sequels. I thought it was the one that came after Departed. No. Is Jack Nicholson. I don't like sequels. See, that's comedy. Everyone got that. All right. I can hear them laughing at home. Not your.

[H. Foley]

Would you say I told you that last week?

[Kevin Ryan]

Not your beach. You were pushing at the top of the program.

[H. Foley]

Top of the hour.

[Kevin Ryan]

It's just in. Foley saw a movie.

[H. Foley]

I did see a movie.

[Kevin Ryan]

It'll put you to sleep. Like this is putting me to sleep. That's Route 66, gang. We need this. Ted Turner said no. Is that him? Tina Turner said no. Too. She passed. Everyone passed on this thing.

[H. Foley]

What's Skippy got to do with it?

[Kevin Ryan]

Huh?

[H. Foley]

Nothing on that again.

[Kevin Ryan]

That's a movie. But I'm sure they made a movie. What's Love Got to Do With It?

[H. Foley]

That's what it was called. What her biopic was. What's Love Got To Do With It?

[Kevin Ryan]

Biopic.

[H. Foley]

Biopic.

[Kevin Ryan]

That's what.

[H. Foley]

Biopic. Gotcha.

[Kevin Ryan]

Nora. Link.

[H. Foley]

I am back.

[Kevin Ryan]

Vaginal mesh.

[H. Foley]

Ew. Is that an actual net? I think it is.

[Kevin Ryan]

It's mesh. It's like a mesh lining. Like a wall.

[H. Foley]

Yeah.

[Kevin Ryan]

All right, let's. We gotta pivot. This is. That's Route 66, gang. Zero mention of vaginal mesh. Route 66. I got the big man. Yeah. All right. And also a little bit of news update. The boys are circling the wagon on a. On a conversion van.

[H. Foley]

Yes.

[Kevin Ryan]

Just trying.

[H. Foley]

That's a foregone conclusion. We're pulling the trigger.

[Kevin Ryan]

We're pulling the trigger. I'm just trying to get the loan to make sense. And the accountant is giving me big pushback.

[H. Foley]

Can I ask what bank we talking to?

[Kevin Ryan]

He's talking to someone for us.

[H. Foley]

Touchdown Bank. TD Bank.

[Kevin Ryan]

No. He's going credit union, but then the credit. He. I go.

[H. Foley]

I talk to my guy over at Navy Federal.

[Kevin Ryan]

Get us in there getting a pontoon.

[H. Foley]

Boat, one of those PBR johns from nom.

[Kevin Ryan]

We end up with an old aircraft carrier.

[H. Foley]

That'd be sick. What do they do with all them ships down at the Philadelphia Navy Yard anyway?

[Kevin Ryan]

They're like museums and shit. And then they sink them.

[H. Foley]

Do they?

[Kevin Ryan]

I don't know.

[H. Foley]

I remember in the 80s driving by that and be like. Man. Even as a little kid, that was the ones we weren't using. If you don't know. Over at the Philadelphia Navy. I don't. They're still there. But. But back in the day, they had a lineup of fucking frigates and fucking destroyers. All this kind of stuff that they weren't. We weren't even using.

[Kevin Ryan]

I think some of it's still there.

[H. Foley]

Get the fighters thing. Throw coat of paint on those things. Start kicking ass. I remember this little kid being like.

[Kevin Ryan]

Man, I'll be the size of one of those ones. Hippies bad. You think?

[H. Foley]

Damn.

[Kevin Ryan]

What's the. What's the Newman line? That. Whatever. No, when they're. I'm sorry. They're on the set of the Merv Griffin show. That stuff stinks worse than that suit. No, that story stunk worse than that suit. Or whatever. Whatever. Got that. And we're back.

[H. Foley]

Someone's got. Someone's got to be funny on this thing.

[Kevin Ryan]

Luke. Luke. I had a laugh track. All right, are we. Can we get into the frigging questions here, guy?

[H. Foley]

It's a family episode. Yeah, we got cutting me off. I'm not cutting you off.

[Kevin Ryan]

Cutting me off.

[H. Foley]

That's not what I'm broadcasting.

[Kevin Ryan]

That's not what a good executive producer should do.

[H. Foley]

I'm not an executive producer of the program of this show.

[Kevin Ryan]

Yeah. What would you call your. Dude, you're the host. Yeah, about it.

[H. Foley]

I get lunch when our Luke gets the lunch.

[Kevin Ryan]

Yeah, Luke gets the lunch on my phone.

[H. Foley]

I do the coffees. I get the Starbucks order in the morning.

[Kevin Ryan]

That's just cuz you like your eggies. And when you get them, you don't tell anybody you're getting them.

[H. Foley]

I what do you want from Starbucks?

[Kevin Ryan]

Yeah, but you don't say, I'm getting egg bites.

[H. Foley]

Well, just assume.

[Kevin Ryan]

You go, I'm getting a coffee. Anybody want anything? And then 58 orders of egg bites. Roll in. No wonder there's a goddamn E. And his guy's eating them all. I looked over. It looked like you won a prize. It looks like you won a contest over there.

[H. Foley]

I like my egg bites. I can't just have coffee straight. I got to have a little food with it. It's like an ibuprofen.

[Kevin Ryan]

That's like. That's just what? That's just. That's just being fat.

[H. Foley]

No. Yeah.

[Kevin Ryan]

I can't have water. I can pizza with it.

[H. Foley]

I get pizza and water.

[Kevin Ryan]

I would never.

[H. Foley]

Oh, man.

[Luke]

That's a production assistant role.

[H. Foley]

What is it?

[Kevin Ryan]

Coffee.

[Luke]

Getting coffees.

[H. Foley]

Nice. Yeah.

[Kevin Ryan]

You're a production assistant and host. You're really working up the ladder. This guy's playing both sides of the ball over here.

[H. Foley]

Script supervisor.

[Kevin Ryan]

You get a script. I had some. My uncle asked me how much is scripted. I go, we would have to be.

[H. Foley]

What this the show?

[Kevin Ryan]

I go, we'd have to be the greatest actors of all time to make it seem like that. Nor that normal. Natural and bad and good at the same time. I'm like, what do you think I'm doing? Do we studied Shakespeare.

[H. Foley]

I studied Shakespeare.

[Kevin Ryan]

Yeah. It shows.

[H. Foley]

Thank you.

[Kevin Ryan]

Do bomb or not do bomb.

[H. Foley]

You having a good time over there, asshole?

[Luke]

I'm having fun.

[H. Foley]

That could. Me too. Love you, buddy.

[Kevin Ryan]

As a producer, that's pretty good.

[H. Foley]

Call me tonight. What are you doing tonight, by the way?

[Luke]

I'm actually. I'm working on an episode.

[H. Foley]

Really?

[Luke]

Yeah.

[H. Foley]

Of what?

[Luke]

This show.

[H. Foley]

Could you.

[Kevin Ryan]

We stink. No.

[H. Foley]

Can I help you?

[Kevin Ryan]

I'm trying to get to the fucking program.

[H. Foley]

Let's go. What a fun one.

[Kevin Ryan]

All right. What do you got?

[H. Foley]

Me? First question.

[Kevin Ryan]

Yeah.

[H. Foley]

I got nothing. Ah. You got the laptop.

[Kevin Ryan]

The laptop. I thought we've. I thought it was laptop because scientists used it. That's what I thought.

[H. Foley]

A laptop.

[Kevin Ryan]

I still say laptop. But no, I say it quick enough that no. 1 desktop. Laptop. That's a laptop.

[H. Foley]

When they got rid of those towers, that blew my mind. Where's the computer?

[Kevin Ryan]

I. Dude, I thought just the screen. I ordered one out of Best Buy catalog. It came in the mail and I was. It was on there. It was on our coffee table at that house. At that apartment I lived in. In the Heights.

[H. Foley]

Yeah.

[Kevin Ryan]

I was flipping through like a hard. Like a.

[H. Foley]

This isn't that long ago.

[Kevin Ryan]

Oh no.

[H. Foley]

You bought a computer out of a magazine?

[Kevin Ryan]

Uh huh. And I was like, it was 199. I went online. But that. The maggot. The catalog the little pamphlet sold me. You know what I mean?

[H. Foley]

Desktop or laptop?

[Kevin Ryan]

It was a desktop. But the tower was like this bit. You know what I mean?

[H. Foley]

A little banger.

[Kevin Ryan]

And I was like, I might as well be Bill Gates with this thing. All you other idiots have a lot. I got high speed power and I didn't have Internet. So I had to get a wireless router for the desktop. And that never worked. It couldn't make it to those hard priest. Those pre war walls.

[H. Foley]

So. Lead paint man.

[Kevin Ryan]

And I had a horrible signal. I couldn't.

[H. Foley]

You got to get a booster for that stuff.

[Kevin Ryan]

This was. This was.

[H. Foley]

I mean I got a booster at my house.

[Kevin Ryan]

Mm.

[H. Foley]

Because the signal wasn't going through. Only thing that ever worked out with technology where I handled it. Which I. The broad kind of handled it, but.

[Kevin Ryan]

So you didn't do it?

[H. Foley]

I didn't hook it up.

[Kevin Ryan]

So you didn't do anything?

[H. Foley]

I bought it and we brought it to the house and I'm like, there's no way this shit's gonna work.

[Kevin Ryan]

Yeah, little relay, a little daisy chain cooking.

[H. Foley]

I had to throw one of my videos on to test it out.

[Kevin Ryan]

You got the goggles on, babe? Let me see if it gets. Sure, it'll play your stupid YouTube videos, but can it handle the ultimate 8K 3D Ultra suck down?

[H. Foley]

Take a little trip to Analville.

[Kevin Ryan]

Goddamn family program we're doing. You're all of a sudden talking about pee pees and woo woos, you know what I mean?

[H. Foley]

Keep the woos God damn beep bees for me. Can I help you?

[Kevin Ryan]

I do sometimes think that, like, you know, early on, even in like the 80s. Yeah, they're 9 or 70, whatever now. You only have to go back like the 1400, but like, think about a guy in the 1200, whatever, 1600s. He's probably seen nine Wangs his whole life. Probably saw his dads, his brothers, the neighbors. Yeah, somebody at like the doctor or something like that. Think about how many. How many hogs you've seen. It's got to be in the bajillions.

[H. Foley]

Millions.

[Kevin Ryan]

Yeah. So it's like, isn't that insane? Like, our brains were never conditioned to see that many hogs bigger than ours.

[H. Foley]

Should have blinders on, you know what I mean? Keep my eye on my own paper.

[Kevin Ryan]

Everybody's got their own test.

[H. Foley]

I feel like a big man.

[Kevin Ryan]

All right. You're taking us down into, you know, dirty talk. All of a sudden you start talking.

[H. Foley]

About Dark Ages wieners, which I didn't realize they were that long. What does the Dark Age.

[Kevin Ryan]

How old are you, by the way?

[H. Foley]

The Dark Ages? I thought it was like a couple of years.

[Luke]

Hundreds.

[H. Foley]

Hundreds?

[Luke]

Yeah.

[H. Foley]

What the fuck?

[Kevin Ryan]

This is nuts. And I know I'm wrong.

[H. Foley]

I thought it was like 200 years.

[Luke]

A thousand years.

[H. Foley]

So what?

[Luke]

500 to 1500?

[Kevin Ryan]

Par. For the long time. Now that I'm thinking about this and I have a hold on, I'm about to say it out loud. I know it's wrong, but the sun was out. Right. Why is it the Dark Age? I don't really know. Cold.

[H. Foley]

It was cold.

[Kevin Ryan]

Is that true?

[Luke]

No, it's just when.

[H. Foley]

No, it was cold. It was also the coldest period. It was the coldest period after the last Ice Age. It was freezing. Couldn't get a bowl of soup.

[Kevin Ryan]

Talking about hunkering down. Talk about shutting it down. Dude, they dark. I picture like Alaska.

[H. Foley]

A lot of DVDs. Yeah, yeah, that's. I think everybody went to sleep, but I thought it was like 200 years. And so. Wait, 500 A.D. yeah. So you're telling me 500 years after the birth of Christ. Shit, Europe just shut down?

[Luke]

Yeah.

[H. Foley]

But nobody knows what was going on.

[Kevin Ryan]

Give me a rundown of what the Dark Ages are, please.

[Luke]

Well, it's just. It was. It's marked by economic, intellectual, and cultural decline.

[H. Foley]

What?

[Kevin Ryan]

They got. They got worse.

[Luke]

Yes, because everyone was just warring at the time.

[Kevin Ryan]

Warring, like fighting wars? Yeah.

[H. Foley]

Is this.

[Kevin Ryan]

This is what General? Who says that? Hey, bozo, I'll try to church you.

[H. Foley]

Fortnite. Shut up. Yeah, this is pre. The Renaissance, right?

[Luke]

Yeah, the Renaissance came after before the.

[H. Foley]

Medici got on the scene.

[Kevin Ryan]

Yeah.

[H. Foley]

With all that cash.

[Kevin Ryan]

Big thanks.

[H. Foley]

You know the Medici?

[Kevin Ryan]

I pronounced Medici, but.

[H. Foley]

Yeah, I don't know how to. What the proper pronunciation.

[Kevin Ryan]

I believe it's the Medici family.

[H. Foley]

Is it?

[Kevin Ryan]

Yeah, yeah. Medici.

[H. Foley]

That makes scooters, right?

[Kevin Ryan]

Something you get at the minute clinic.

[H. Foley]

Hello.

[Kevin Ryan]

All right, let's. Quick. Just quick. Jerk. Jerking around here.

[H. Foley]

I was ready for more Dark Ages talk. To be honest with you, I for.

[Kevin Ryan]

Sure thought it was like another.

[H. Foley]

So it was a thousand years.

[Kevin Ryan]

I thought it was like a big eclipse or something.

[Luke]

The renaissance starts around 1300, so there's a little overlap between the two.

[Kevin Ryan]

So that's them coming out of the Renaissance is them coming out of the Dark Ages? Well, they all.

[H. Foley]

Yeah. What was going on?

[Luke]

What was everybody doing during the Dark Ages?

[H. Foley]

Yeah.

[Luke]

Fighting.

[H. Foley]

Fighting.

[Kevin Ryan]

Yeah.

[H. Foley]

But I thought we lost a bunch of records and stuff like that.

[Luke]

Oh, yeah, because everyone was fighting and burning everything.

[Kevin Ryan]

Where's my Pearl Jam album?

[H. Foley]

That's crazy. That's not that long ago.

[Kevin Ryan]

I mean, it ain't last week, but.

[H. Foley]

In the grand scheme of things, that ain't that long ago.

[Kevin Ryan]

I mean, how big are we going? Grand scheme of things?

[H. Foley]

As long as the planet's been spinning.

[Kevin Ryan]

Okay, sure.

[H. Foley]

Millions of years.

[Kevin Ryan]

Sure.

[H. Foley]

Universe. Been around.6 billion, something like that. Okay, maybe more. That's a lot.

[Kevin Ryan]

That's in quantifiable in anybody's head. So it doesn't really mean anything.

[H. Foley]

Yes, it does mean something to me.

[Kevin Ryan]

What's it mean to you?

[H. Foley]

And the intelligentsia of the day, Carl Sagan and the likes.

[Kevin Ryan]

Really? Fucking Medici. Or would you mispronounced it?

[H. Foley]

A little metadici on my lip And.

[Kevin Ryan]

A little Neospor for that. Little herpes simplex, too, or whatever.

[H. Foley]

That'S.

[Kevin Ryan]

We got. We got to get a big, big. We got to get into big pharma. That's what you really got to sell out. Getting a big pharma. Get A Valtrex.

[H. Foley]

Get me.

[Kevin Ryan]

They probably cut us like fucking crazy. Check a month. We just like every episode. We start dabbing it on your herpes. I gotta. I got a long. I got a long finger. Just fucking. Hey. You have a buddy who has herpes? Help him out. Help a brother out.

[H. Foley]

Don't be gross.

[Kevin Ryan]

Use Valtrick. All right, that's not paid. That'd be great if that was paid. We just seamlessly slipped it in. That was paid advertising.

[H. Foley]

Pretty good.

[Kevin Ryan]

All right, listen, if big tobacco's out there, give me a call.

[H. Foley]

Can you do that on YouTube?

[Kevin Ryan]

Probably not. I don't push heaters.

[Luke]

I don't think they're allowed to.

[Kevin Ryan]

They're allowed. They're not allowed to advertise at all.

[H. Foley]

No kidding.

[Kevin Ryan]

Yeah.

[H. Foley]

Huh. They're not print ads, anything like that anymore.

[Kevin Ryan]

That stopped in the late 90s, I think. That's all word of mouth, billboards, everything's.

[H. Foley]

That's pretty good.

[Kevin Ryan]

You got a product that speaks for itself.

[H. Foley]

You got really something cooking. I think of the millions Pepsi's dumping in advertising every year. Newport ain't spending a dime.

[Kevin Ryan]

And they keep you coming back. All right, let's try again. This one's just funny. This is from loggerhead. O'Toole. Ever call shotgun while being taken into police custody? I call shoddy.

[H. Foley]

Man.

[Kevin Ryan]

That's. That's a good time.

[H. Foley]

Making a cop laugh is pretty good.

[Kevin Ryan]

The cops gotta laugh at that. There's. I mean, if your cop ain't laughing at that, she just killed three people. They're throwing the even. And a little levity changes every situation. Situation they're throwing. That's. If they don't laugh. That cops testifying. And he's throwing. They're throwing the book at you that you're. You're going to a page.

[H. Foley]

He's making jokes. Your honor. When I was booking them.

[Kevin Ryan]

Ah. Yeah. That's a good time. That is an all right. All right. This one's from Jesse. This is a 10 hoagie. Never had one read. Is it garbage if you refer to something that is transparent as see through? That's the dumbest way to say that. And I for sure say see through for everything. I don't. I think I've only said transparent in science class when I learned what transparent was.

[H. Foley]

Transparent and translucent.

[Kevin Ryan]

Translucent's kind of right.

[H. Foley]

Yeah. You feel like a smart guy.

[Kevin Ryan]

Yeah. Like. Like a worm would be translucent.

[H. Foley]

A worm?

[Kevin Ryan]

Like insects, I believe.

[H. Foley]

Gummy worm.

[Kevin Ryan]

No, like insects I believe, are described.

[H. Foley]

Like wax paper would be translucent.

[Kevin Ryan]

I'm not saying that's not a possibility. I believe the term is translucent or.

[H. Foley]

Not only for jellyfish or translucent.

[Kevin Ryan]

There you go. You got on board with me instead of fucking shutting me down. She family.

[H. Foley]

Love them. A what?

[Kevin Ryan]

Give me the difference between translucent and trans gender.

[H. Foley]

You know how I know the Medici? It's from one of my favorite poems by Edwin Robinson Medici Medici. Miniver Cheevi is the name of the poem. Edwin Robinson.

[Luke]

Transparent objects allow light to pass through completely. While translucent objects allow some light to pass through. But objects on the other side are not as clear.

[Kevin Ryan]

Well cloudy. That's. Yeah, that's I Dude.

[H. Foley]

Also known as a beat bag.

[Kevin Ryan]

The hell is this?

[H. Foley]

That in class speaking.

[Kevin Ryan]

I. That reminds me. The first time. I don't know if you remember. This is the. I remember the first. First two way mirror I ever saw was at the Rich Barrel Wawa. And it. Because the office had the two way mirror out to the floor. It blew my.

[H. Foley]

Hey Carl. Fat ass Carl. Carl, Carl. Look, he's doing it again. Oh, fat ass mustard Carl. That kid's back.

[Kevin Ryan]

And I remember. I remember the way the light you could look and kind of see through obviously. And I.

[H. Foley]

Counting the money. Yeah.

[Kevin Ryan]

And I'd be fucking. I'd like kind of slowly walk by like this to see if anybody would get real. I do this and get real close. Fucking. I'd be. I'd be. What do you got back there? Oh, little fucking Hooters. Hooters calendar. This is the 90s.

[H. Foley]

He's got a calculator. Yeah.

[Kevin Ryan]

Yeah. I was who that was. That was like. And whenever I walked in it was like I was playing a game of. I don't know. Can you see me? Can you not see? Am I looking at you? Are you looking at me? As a game of cat and mouse.

[H. Foley]

Mine was in drugstores, in pharmacies. In the front where the manager's office is. It was like a tower and it had the. See through the double mirror. And then it also had that big like concave convex.

[Kevin Ryan]

Check your six.

[H. Foley]

Yeah. I always feel like they were watching me. I don't know why.

[Kevin Ryan]

Uh huh.

[H. Foley]

Creeps.

[Kevin Ryan]

Yeah. I used to have.

[H. Foley]

I'm a child.

[Kevin Ryan]

The one at the supermarket had a little like. They had the front desk and then the little office right behind that. And that had the door that was always locked. That's where they kept the safe and the money or whatever cash always locked.

[H. Foley]

And the heaters too probably.

[Kevin Ryan]

Nah, they were floating around. Floating. Okay. And they had that little two way. And you guys. Whatever 16 hormones were cooking and the hot manager was like, you have to go in there to count your till.

[H. Foley]

Yeah.

[Kevin Ryan]

And she'd go in there alone and she'd lock the door. I'd be in there fucking fighting office. That was like every one of my fantasies. The doors locked, someone might be peeping. It's a two way mirror. I can see out. They can't see in. A lot of cash laying around.

[H. Foley]

Avocados are going up.

[Kevin Ryan]

Is the can can sale still going on?

[H. Foley]

Kev, let's talk about True Work.

[Kevin Ryan]

Oh, you mean the truest work. Yeah.

[H. Foley]

TrueWerk is hell bent on creating the most technical high performance workwear in the world. And they have done it. TrueWerk story begins in the Colorado mountains where a trade worker knew that there had to be a better solution than a wet heavy gear that was weighing them down at work. So he came up with True Work. Baby. Let's go.

[Kevin Ryan]

Trueork sent us some great gear, Top quality gear. Shout out to them. I mean, they sent us this like overcoat, like this, you know, all weather, all everything, buddy. You could throw me in the Hudson River, I bounce right back and be ready to record a podcast. You wouldn't even know.

[H. Foley]

You want to show up on the job site looking fresh.

[Kevin Ryan]

Every True Work product is engineered for maximum comfort, protection, efficiency with minimum bulk or extra weight. I put it on, you stick and move, right? You can read if you're a construction worker.

[H. Foley]

High performance.

[Kevin Ryan]

Yes. Denim and cotton canvas haven't changed much over 200 years. TrueWerk upgrades Traditional classics by using the same fabrics worn by the outdoor athletes, baby. Soft, stretchy sweat wicking soft shell work pants are a major upgrade over wet heavy jeans or dungarees. Windproof, waterproof shells. I'm talking high quality stuff over here. True work has over 50,000 5 star reviews and countless stories from trade pros in every state, every job site across the the country upgrade with True Work. Major change in the way you work. Check out the fall the full lineup and get 15% off your first order at truewerk.com [e-mail] garbage at 50% off at TrueWerk. T r u e w e r k.com garbage do it.

[H. Foley]

Yeah, Kev. Let's talk about Helix mattresses.

[Kevin Ryan]

Shout out to Helix.

[H. Foley]

Let's talk about just the best in the biz and an OG podcast sponsor. Sleep Like a King sponsor. I got the California King over there. I just flipped it around, put some fresh sheets on it. Man, you sleep like an angel in those things. And I'm no angel. I'LL tell you that. And I'll tell you what, you don't got to waste time at some mattress store with Helix. You go on the website there, you take a quiz, takes about two, three minutes. They find out how you sleep, whether you sleep heavy, sleep light, whether you sleep on your side, on your back, hot, cool, whatever it is, they got you covered and they will match you with the absolute perfect mattress and the last mattress you're ever going to own. Because once you go Helix, you never.

[Kevin Ryan]

Go, Felix, I gotta be honest with you. You might never get me out of a Helix. I mean, obviously.

[H. Foley]

No, that's the mattress here on out.

[Kevin Ryan]

Obviously we got the promo code so, you know, you save a couple of bucks. But it's like, I mean, I've never had an adult grown up mattress that made me, that they gave me. I haven't slept like that. I've sleep like a baby. So I, you know, sleeping like a pauper on a, on a used mattress that you found off the G train.

[H. Foley]

Might as well be on a wet sack. Shopping helix.

[Kevin Ryan]

Go to helixsleep.com garbage for 20% off site wide. Plus two free dream pillows with mattress purchase, plus free bedding bundle, which is two dream pillows, a sheet set and a mattress protector with any luxe or elite mattress order. Daddy. Oh, I might have to go get a new one. For 27% off. That's helixsleep.com garbage for 20% off statewide. Plus two free dream pillows with mattress purchase plus free bedding bundle, two dream pillows, sheet sets and mattress protector with any luxe or elite mattress order. Helixleep.com garbage the way back to the show.

[H. Foley]

Back to the show. Have I asked you this?

[Kevin Ryan]

Have you ever, I don't know, hit me.

[H. Foley]

Have you ever taken us. Have you ever asked a girl out and got shot down, like straight up? Have I asked you this?

[Kevin Ryan]

No, that was never.

[H. Foley]

You never put yourself out there like.

[Kevin Ryan]

That technology had changed so like you didn't have to like ask out in person. Like there was like text like you. There was other ways to build a relationship and rapport rather than just going like you're bumpy or you're at you buy. I bumped into it to cvs. You want to go out Tuesday night? It was more like hanging. And now what are you doing? So and so, like we're having people over. It was more communal.

[H. Foley]

Yeah, I got you.

[Kevin Ryan]

I mean, were you going out on dates at the time?

[H. Foley]

Like in like seventh and eighth grade? I had, I had to do that a couple of times.

[Kevin Ryan]

Yeah. I would stop at seventh and eighth grade. There was already cell phone ish. Or there was AOL instant mess. Like. Like that's where the relationships were breeding this.

[H. Foley]

You had a walk in chat rooms. You had a walk in take a.

[Kevin Ryan]

Shot and man, swinging them in.

[H. Foley]

You and your boys would talk about it for like a month.

[Kevin Ryan]

It's a three, two pitch, boom. He's hitting the head.

[H. Foley]

Get us. Get a plan together. Hey, you want to go to the mall on Saturday? Nah, I don't think so. Okay, cool.

[Kevin Ryan]

Yeah, me either.

[H. Foley]

Heard it burned down anyway. Bitch.

[Kevin Ryan]

Lesbian.

[H. Foley]

Okay.

[Kevin Ryan]

Yeah, now we never. Yeah, we would ask to like skate. Like the roller skating thing. That would be like, oh, you want to skate? I don't think I ever got shut down. But like only you ever skated with like maybe one or two girls or something?

[H. Foley]

I never got shot down at a dance asking some broader. She wanted to take a turn on her rug at the Catholic school dance. CYO dances we used to do.

[Kevin Ryan]

Yeah, we didn't. They were. They were phased out. I met my brother going to them and me being like, you're a fucking porn star. That was for like. That was like Boogie nights to me. 13 year old, but they were putting cologne on and going to.

[H. Foley]

Going to the cologne chains, sweaters.

[Kevin Ryan]

They had to pay to get. It was like $3 to get. This might as well be Studio 54.

[H. Foley]

It was dark and dark as shit in there. You were either making a move or you were fighting the Italian kids out front. It was crazy. Fucking kids with mustaches and shit.

[Kevin Ryan]

Scared the shit out of you. Hey, Luigi, I just want to go.

[H. Foley]

Home and watch Golden Girls.

[Kevin Ryan]

All right, let's see if Charlie's is still open. Are you garbage? If growing up you had a small, unsuspecting kitchen knife in your home and a parent constantly tells you, be careful with that one. That's the sharpest knife in the house. That's dead on. Dude. That is so good.

[H. Foley]

That's the real one right there.

[Kevin Ryan]

Pete Cat. One will get you. You gotta be aware. It's not the big one, it's that one.

[H. Foley]

There was one sharp knife.

[Kevin Ryan]

Yeah, a little paring knife or something.

[H. Foley]

Everything else you'd slice your finger off. Sure. Dull as shit, huh?

[Kevin Ryan]

Yeah, that's a good. That's like a very dirt bag paranoid, anxiety ridden warning there for sure. Be careful with that one.

[H. Foley]

That's a sharp one, huh? Get out of there.

[Kevin Ryan]

That'll get you.

[H. Foley]

What are you doing in the steak knife drawer?

[Kevin Ryan]

Mm. Which by the way, my mom's Got the same set of. Set of steak knives and cutlery, like kitchen knives, steak knives and kitchen knives. I mean, they got to be older than me, though. They're wooden handled. The finish is off. These things are getting waterlogged every like.

[H. Foley]

I love those, though.

[Kevin Ryan]

They're great. They're cut. Go. I mean, they might be a pyramid scheme, but they put together how they used to put together a hell of.

[H. Foley]

A product that's just. That's from. You put them in the dishwasher for all those years. It takes the fucking lacquer out of it.

[Kevin Ryan]

Oh, it's.

[H. Foley]

Dude, it sucks.

[Kevin Ryan]

It looks like two by four wood. That's how. That's how weathered it is. It looks like it's been submerged. It looks like they pulled it out. They fish it out of the East River. It's old stuff. The little knots have like, the little, like rivets have a little bit of rust on them, run into the wood. Yeah, those things are.

[H. Foley]

I didn't know. When I was a kid, I didn't know what I was doing. I remember cutting shit with the fucking bread knife. Like, you know, the serrated edge.

[Kevin Ryan]

Oh, that's all I used exclusively till. I got to be honest with you. As you know, I'm not. I was never very cultured. I mean, I was. I was. I just use my fork for most of this stuff to just, you know, get some torque on that thing and.

[H. Foley]

Say, now you got good meat.

[Kevin Ryan]

Yeah, but I would have never would have forked. I never. We never had meals where you would get us that I remember. I'd be like, oh, here's a steak knife.

[H. Foley]

Oh, we did nice Sunday dinner. London broil, baked potato wrapped in a fucking tin foil.

[Kevin Ryan]

No, never. I mean, I think I just always used a fucking butter knife.

[H. Foley]

Told Patty that's what I want for my birthday. I don't know if I mentioned this to you.

[Kevin Ryan]

A London broil.

[H. Foley]

No, I want a night. I want her to cook a fucking nice dinner with like fucking baked potato wrapped in tin foil in the oven.

[Kevin Ryan]

Doesn't sound that nice. I mean, if that's the first thing you're looking.

[H. Foley]

That's one of the sides. Coleslaw.

[Kevin Ryan]

What kind? So what's the entree?

[H. Foley]

Meatloaf. I want a meatloaf.

[Kevin Ryan]

And who's all at this dinner? Just you.

[H. Foley]

Now get out.

[Kevin Ryan]

Now. Get your stupid ass out of my face. Don't come back for three hours.

[H. Foley]

Walk around the neighborhood. No, me, her skin.

[Kevin Ryan]

Just you too.

[H. Foley]

Me, her, the broad and. And. And you know, my brother and the kids or whatever and you know, the rest of the family if they want to come over. That's just.

[Kevin Ryan]

I mean, that was like such a loose list of people, man. It's just me, him and whoever else wants to come.

[H. Foley]

The. The immediate squad. I'm asking, don't you know the immediates. My family.

[Kevin Ryan]

My name wasn't on that list. That's. I feel like I'm pretty fucking. I should be at least produced a dinner some.

[H. Foley]

And I want her to make one of those buttercream cakes that she used to make back in the day. You trying to get her back in action? Yeah, for everybody involved. And green beans with chocolate sauce. No, green beans with. You ever do this? Green beans with breadcrumbs with Italian seasoning on them? No, they used to be popping back in the day. My brother just made them. That's what made me think of it.

[Kevin Ryan]

That makes sense.

[H. Foley]

Oh, so good.

[Kevin Ryan]

We used to do. Man, I love the. I guess they were Green Giant, the canned green beans that are like waterlogged.

[H. Foley]

I love those, man. You didn't like them?

[Kevin Ryan]

Oh, I loved them to a point where like that was the only vegetable I ate for a solid seven.

[H. Foley]

What about wax beans? Did you eat wax beans?

[Kevin Ryan]

My mom.

[H. Foley]

Yellow ones.

[Kevin Ryan]

My mom didn't like beans, so we never. I didn't have.

[H. Foley]

No, they're green. They're green beans, but they're white. I don't know why.

[Kevin Ryan]

No, they're in a translucent. No way. Looks like a worm.

[H. Foley]

Jellyfish.

[Kevin Ryan]

No, I. Now I did, man. I love, loved, loved a waterlogged friggin green bean.

[H. Foley]

I'm with you. Yeah, they're good as shit. Little pat of butter on them in a cereal bowl on the table. Good night.

[Kevin Ryan]

That my. My grandma Babs, rest in peace. Made some sort of.

[H. Foley]

Hooch in the tub.

[Kevin Ryan]

No, she made some sort of creamy. The corn she put out. I don't know if there was sugar.

[H. Foley]

Cream corn.

[Kevin Ryan]

I don't know what.

[H. Foley]

I can't imagine you eating cream.

[Kevin Ryan]

Let me get. I don't think it was cream. I don't even know what cream corn is. Let me get eyes on cream corn.

[H. Foley]

It's old school.

[Kevin Ryan]

She's an old girl. No, not cream corn. Not, not cream corn, though. It was something and it was in a little bit of something, man. Going over there. That was.

[H. Foley]

All right, hit me with a crescent roll and I'm out.

[Kevin Ryan]

This one's from Mid Atlantic dirt bag. Great name. I took me so long to learn what the mid Atlantic was too.

[H. Foley]

East Coast.

[Kevin Ryan]

The Mid Atlantic Yeah, the Boston to Baltimore. I don't think Mid Atlantic's Boston, is it? No, I think it's like Jersey to North Carolina. I think it's mid Atlantic, like the middle of the country. Right.

[H. Foley]

Shout out to it.

[Kevin Ryan]

What do you got there, Larcus Petarchis.

[H. Foley]

Putting a kid to work this episode.

[Luke]

WI Fi is so slow.

[Kevin Ryan]

Sorry.

[H. Foley]

Oh, yeah. Now you want. Now you want faster. WI Fi, New Jersey. That's what your friend said.

[Luke]

New Jersey, Maryland, Delaware, West Virginia, District of Columbia and Pennsylvania.

[H. Foley]

Yeah, very nice.

[Kevin Ryan]

The mid Atlantic accent.

[H. Foley]

It's a good group of states.

[Kevin Ryan]

Not bad. Whatever. Mid atlantic dirt bag. $10, homie. Couple months in, never had one red. Is it garbage? If you pour your salsa into the jars lid and scoop out the salsa with chips from the lid. Whoa, that's pretty good.

[H. Foley]

Saving the knuckles.

[Kevin Ryan]

Yeah, right. You can get a better. You can come in from the side rather than the top and try to hook it up like you're moving a couch down a flight of stairs.

[H. Foley]

I respect the move, but I feel.

[Kevin Ryan]

I feel that a pour would be better.

[H. Foley]

Then you take it out and you put it on. Put a little on the lid. Put the jar down, get your chip, load it up.

[Kevin Ryan]

I don't hate it. Keep your fingers clean. But at that point, I go, just grab a bowl or a plate or something. You know, if you're doing that, if you're having the forethought, sure, just roll with.

[H. Foley]

They gotta wash that shit lid. You just put that back on, Throw it right in the back of the fridge.

[Kevin Ryan]

Yeah, but I mean, sure, younger me would have done that. I'm at the point now where I'm like, I have a wife who will do the dishes. No, I'm kidding. I. I'll. I'll get a bowl out. Enjoy it like a gentleman.

[H. Foley]

Did you have a timeline on your salsa?

[Kevin Ryan]

No.

[H. Foley]

So it could have been in there for. For a while. Like the half jar in the back where the tomatoes crusted around the rim. You're still going in on that?

[Kevin Ryan]

No, I'm not going in on it. It's in there. I'm probably not going in on it.

[H. Foley]

Okay.

[Kevin Ryan]

I would just go, I don't know how long that's been. I'm gonna grab a new one.

[H. Foley]

Okay.

[Kevin Ryan]

There's also like.

[H. Foley]

Because I have that with relish, that goes. Sure. I mean, if I lose focus on relish, I'm out.

[Luke]

Do you have relish in your fridge that often?

[H. Foley]

Were you eating chips or something?

[Luke]

I was chewing ice.

[H. Foley]

What are you, my aunt? Chewing? I want Cold brew. Yeah, I got relish like that. You don't have relish. You don't have relish in your refrigerator? No, American. You don't have a thing of relish.

[Kevin Ryan]

What have I eaten?

[H. Foley]

Hot dogs.

[Kevin Ryan]

How many hot. I would argue, buddy. I would argue.

[H. Foley]

Last time you went and got. You bought hot dogs at the store.

[Kevin Ryan]

I'm not making hot dogs at the house.

[H. Foley]

Really?

[Kevin Ryan]

Not every night enough to have relish on hand. What do you just wait, you just went, oh, when you make hot dogs, obviously I'm.

[H. Foley]

That one time you bought hot. You bought hot dogs. You get a thing of relish, a fresh thing of relish.

[Kevin Ryan]

I don't know when the last time you think I bought. I am having in house hot dogs.

[H. Foley]

No kidding.

[Kevin Ryan]

That's also like insane. Because then it's. You're like, I'm going to buy it for two. I'm going to buy a jar for two spoonfuls. You just go with whatever else you got. A little hot sauce or something. Sriracha. That's one thing I wanted to ask you. That was on my list of questions I had recently.

[H. Foley]

Oh, yeah.

[Kevin Ryan]

Do you think, has there ever been a bottle of Sriracha in Patty's refrigerator? In your mom's refrigerator, has there ever been a bottle of Sriracha? I don't think I would bet my mom don't even know what it is.

[H. Foley]

Yeah, Patty wouldn't know what Sriracha was.

[Kevin Ryan]

She don't go down the international aisle. You know what I mean? Not going down the ethnic food aisle.

[H. Foley]

La choy.

[Kevin Ryan]

I shoot it and looks at me. No way.

[H. Foley]

My dad, they actually did. They loved it.

[Kevin Ryan]

Sriracha.

[H. Foley]

No, but they would do like a stir fry every once in a while.

[Kevin Ryan]

That got big in the 80s.

[H. Foley]

Yeah, I remember my.

[Kevin Ryan]

That was.

[H. Foley]

I remember my dad buying a wok. And I remember. I remember being.

[Kevin Ryan]

Now, there goes the country. You're a goddamn veteran. Bending the knee.

[H. Foley]

Buddy's laying face down.

[Kevin Ryan]

So what we fought for, for you, you know, Buy a wok.

[H. Foley]

Nah, he loved it, man. And he. Dude, he used way too much oil. It was. And I don't know what kind of oil you definitely.

[Kevin Ryan]

He's in it like a hibachi ship. Smoke alarms going off.

[H. Foley]

And dude, he loved that. He would love his stir fry. He loved the water chestnuts. The la Choi water chestnuts. I think that's the company's name. La Choy. I think.

[Kevin Ryan]

Yeah. La Choy.

[H. Foley]

They always look so good. It was so 80. It was like 80s. Single lady that worked.

[Kevin Ryan]

Trying to be. Yeah. You know, look at me.

[H. Foley]

Loved it.

[Kevin Ryan]

I just learned about this.

[H. Foley]

So good. That and the crispy noodles. The La Choi crispy noodles.

[Kevin Ryan]

I don't. The only hot sauce that ever really cracked was Tabasco. That was it. And that was strictly for my stepdad's eggs. Was Tabasco. That was. And I mean, that's real, Stephen. It must have been in there for 15. Same bottle, 15 years.

[H. Foley]

Yeah. There was no hot sauce, I don't think, in our house.

[Kevin Ryan]

My stepdad, I guess one of his boys introduced him to Frank's. And that hit probably when I was in early college, late high school. There. A bottle of Frank's came in.

[H. Foley]

Yeah, we got it now.

[Kevin Ryan]

And I was like, that was the first hot sauce I, like, really had. And I was like, oh, this great. And then they started the franks. I put that shit on everything that hit. So I then was in college. I became a big franks guy. Sriracha then as well, moseyed in. But farracha was.

[H. Foley]

Sriracha was way too much for me to handle at first. That shit was.

[Kevin Ryan]

I remember someone sneaky.

[H. Foley]

Ketchup.

[Kevin Ryan]

I remember we did a show like that. So un. So uncouth. I did a show where they fed you. It was at a. It was at a. I like a. It was like dinner in a show. And the chef was pretty good. It was good.

[H. Foley]

Load them up on pasta. Before you bring up the comedic stylings of Kevin Ryan.

[Kevin Ryan]

Did. They gave me.

[H. Foley]

You're the best, baby.

[Kevin Ryan]

They gave me. They gave me twice baked sriracha potatoes. Dude, I had never had sriracha. This is. I'm probably. I'm probably 20, 22, 23, 24. I don't know. I'm old. I'm too old.

[H. Foley]

Wait, did you not know they were spicy?

[Kevin Ryan]

I'm up there. I remember I was wearing a sweater. I was wearing a polo sweater that I got at an outlet. I hate these. I ate these sriracha potatoes and then went right on stage. Dude, I was sweating. I remember my neck got itchy. I broke out in hives. My American bloodstream couldn't handle the foreign sriracha.

[H. Foley]

Oh, my God. Oh, Anybody else's throat closing up? Jesus Christ.

[Kevin Ryan]

Is it hot in here? Is it?

[H. Foley]

Are you sure I wasn't at that show?

[Kevin Ryan]

You might have popped by. You might have came and watched me.

[H. Foley]

I did.

[Kevin Ryan]

I was pretty big in the scene back in the day.

[H. Foley]

Remember that?

[Kevin Ryan]

Do you remember? It was our buddy's show. Yeah, it was great show. Fun show. And the chef, it was like a Small little restaurant. And they were. They would do dinner and a show and he would. It was like a prefix. You would just go and get whatever they were making. I think it was meatloaf and twice baked Sriracha potatoes, man. I remember I had a pair of new Chuck Taylors on too. It was cold as my feet were freezing. I couldn't find parking close to close to the venue.

[H. Foley]

Taking a pair of Chucks in the winter, man, you're losing a ton.

[Kevin Ryan]

I may or may not have had socks on too. And I had to walk like 6 blocks isn't contra hawking. I had to walk like 6 blocks up a hill. Icy conditions. I'm at a Saturday night show. Saturday night paid gig, plus a pretty good so plus introduce you to Sriracha. That might as well. I might as well been the Tonight Show.

[H. Foley]

What's that called again? No, Patty. No.

[Kevin Ryan]

No.

[H. Foley]

There isn't a bottle of Sriracha in Patty's household. No. What. What's it called?

[Kevin Ryan]

Also look up how long Sriracha will last. Because I'm. Sometimes mine's been in there a minute. I buy the big bottle and I go through phases where I'm crushing it. I'm doing it on everything. And other times I'll go six, eight months not using it. And that gets real thin and watery at the bottom. I got one now that's like. It might as well be. It looks like fucking. Looks like Kool Aid.

[Luke]

Two years in the fridge after opening.

[Kevin Ryan]

I think I'm. I'm probably.

[H. Foley]

How about out of the fridge six months? No shit.

[Kevin Ryan]

Yeah.

[H. Foley]

On that heat on them peppers.

[Kevin Ryan]

Oh, God. All right, here, let's see. This one's from Robert. $10, homie. Never had one red. Is it garbage to eat? Tums in the first grade, thinking you're doing drugs with your friends. What turns out later in life. Some of them had serious drug issues. That's just like. That's.

[H. Foley]

I thought they were candy.

[Kevin Ryan]

Your parents are bad. When like, I had it too. We're like, there's too much. You're. You're learning about drugs and drinking at too young of an age. If you're going, let's do drugs in first grade.

[H. Foley]

Sure.

[Kevin Ryan]

Same with drinking where we were like, let's steal a beer. We were too young. It was too commonplace.

[H. Foley]

Mm.

[Kevin Ryan]

Hi. My family don't do shit without. Without drinking. There's not like it's. Are we get. What time's this? Are we go. What time are you going? You want to stop me? Get beers before what? It's just it's all drinking.

[H. Foley]

Sure.

[Kevin Ryan]

And it's permeated my life.

[H. Foley]

Mid Atlantic lifestyle. Sure.

[Kevin Ryan]

But that. That means that kids seeing that, so. Or watching the wrong movies or something. You're trying to do drugs in first grade. Not even trying. You' you think you're doing them. Get your hands on some fucking tropical breeze tums.

[H. Foley]

The good stuff.

[Kevin Ryan]

You ain't lying. I'm at the age end of the health where I have tums everywhere.

[H. Foley]

Yeah.

[Kevin Ryan]

I got them in the travel bag. I got one at the house. I got one in the burbs. I make sure there's one down the shore. I make sure there's one at my mom. Like, wherever I might be crashing that night. I get my hands all tum skis.

[H. Foley]

I surprisingly don't.

[Kevin Ryan]

You should Very burping as you said that.

[H. Foley]

Yeah. But not heartburning. I haven't had heartburn in a while and really have it. I really have it under control.

[Kevin Ryan]

Great.

[H. Foley]

Which is a good thing.

[Kevin Ryan]

Sure.

[H. Foley]

My gastro guy.

[Kevin Ryan]

Yeah.

[H. Foley]

Watch that. Get Barrett's esophagus. It's no good. I have a little tiny bit of that.

[Kevin Ryan]

So it's not good.

[H. Foley]

I gotta keep it under control.

[Kevin Ryan]

Okay. All right. All right. Spin zone. Whoo. And we're out.

[H. Foley]

I think that was a spin zone.

[Kevin Ryan]

You just said I'm doing good before I get Barrett's esophagus. Then I have Barrett's esophagus. You got to keep an eye on it. It went from I'm super healthy. I don't want to get this very bad thing to I have the bad thing.

[H. Foley]

I have a little piece of it. A little bit, which I got to really watch.

[Kevin Ryan]

It's not bitcoin. A little taste on it.

[H. Foley]

Xrp.

[Kevin Ryan]

Sure. All right. Let's see here. This one. What do you got?

[Luke]

Also called gerd.

[H. Foley]

Oh, I have gerd. No, Barrett's esophagus.

[Kevin Ryan]

So the GI track doesn't sound great.

[Luke]

Oh, Barrett's esophagus is caused by gerd.

[H. Foley]

Yes.

[Luke]

Yeah.

[H. Foley]

I have GERD and a little Barrett's esophagus.

[Luke]

How do you have a little of it?

[Kevin Ryan]

Because he's lying there. He's got it.

[H. Foley]

I'm not.

[Kevin Ryan]

It's spin. That's what I'm talking about. The spin. You keep saying a little Tate, a little bag.

[H. Foley]

I have a little bit. We've talked about this on the. On the. The Patreon when I got my colonoscopy and my endoscopy. That's why I really. I really have to be careful that I don't get heartburn.

[Kevin Ryan]

Okay.

[H. Foley]

So I've been on top of it, so I haven't needed any Tums.

[Kevin Ryan]

Okay. Sounds good.

[H. Foley]

Thank you.

[Kevin Ryan]

It's all that relish. You're eating old relish.

[H. Foley]

Well, my point with that was if I lose sight of the relish, I gotta get a new one.

[Kevin Ryan]

Yeah. There's certain condiments that if you lose, if you go. I don't remember. Was this last year? Six months? Was it a week ago? You try. You just got to start over. You just got to start fresh. Mayonnaise, salsa, queso. You got to start fresh.

[H. Foley]

Sure.

[Kevin Ryan]

Because those are. Those are those things that you only eat when the other. They're only applicable at certain times.

[H. Foley]

Yes.

[Kevin Ryan]

The salsa, the con queso, the fucking. The relish. You're only eating that when you have a bag of chips, when you have the hot dogs. Crazy.

[H. Foley]

That's crazy.

[Kevin Ryan]

Maybe why you have. That's why you have Barrett's. You're doing homegrown hot. Hot dogs are meant to be at a barbecue, at a ball game, from a fucking cart vendor. You shouldn't be doing hot dog. I get that. They're good.

[H. Foley]

I ate. I ate, then this. You know, I can't take the blame here. As a kid, I ate too many hot dogs. When I was a kid, I've eaten.

[Kevin Ryan]

Too many hot dogs. As an adult. I get that. You shouldn't be those. That's not a meal. You should be eating in house.

[H. Foley]

You don't like making dogs at the house.

[Kevin Ryan]

That's crazy. I do. Trenton, I. There's nothing more.

[H. Foley]

You and the wife is never on your way to the grocery store. What do you want to. What do you want to have tonight? I'll just do high hot dogs. Let's do hot dogs. Get a thing of Bush's beans. Get a pack of buns, some relish.

[Kevin Ryan]

I understand what hot dogs are. You don't have to. I. No. No one's ever. My wife.

[H. Foley]

No. Some chips and hot dogs.

[Kevin Ryan]

Chips and hot. What are we, crackheads? That's what homeless people have for dinner.

[H. Foley]

What are you talking about?

[Kevin Ryan]

Chips and hot dogs.

[H. Foley]

Potato chips. Kettle cooked. You don't like chips and hot dogs?

[Kevin Ryan]

Listen, stop saying you don't. I like chips and hot dog. I do like chips and I do like hot dog. That is not up for debate. I'll like a big bacon cheese dog. I like hot dogs. I'm saying I think at 50, you shouldn't be making them for dinner.

[H. Foley]

I think in the house, this hasn't been recently.

[Luke]

Still got the relish.

[Kevin Ryan]

Still got the relish. We're fucked. We are all over Foleyville. You don't know when you're getting a straight answer, what you're getting, what you're not.

[H. Foley]

I'm shooting you straight. I like hot dogs.

[Kevin Ryan]

I'm. I'm not saying to not like hot dogs. I'm saying hot dogs in the house with your wife. When you live in New York City.

[H. Foley]

It'S got an official ruling. You think that's crazy? Making hot dogs for dinner?

[Kevin Ryan]

I think it's very trashy. Yes.

[Luke]

In Manhattan. Yes.

[H. Foley]

I don't live in Manhattan.

[Luke]

Okay? Queens in an apartment building.

[Kevin Ryan]

It is Queens.

[H. Foley]

That's like Christmas dinner.

[Kevin Ryan]

I think if. Listen, I think if you're. I think if you're single, there's less.

[H. Foley]

People not eating hot dogs that I.

[Kevin Ryan]

I think if you're single, fantastic bachelor meal of like, hey, I can get these. I can have a meal for four, five, six bucks. Whatever it is, stuff up on them. Love. I'm not saying don't eat hot dog. Eat all the dogs you want. I feel. Yeah, I don't know. It's. It's a trashy meal to eat in house. Those. That's an outside food, right?

[H. Foley]

Okay.

[Kevin Ryan]

That's all I'm saying. I think that's. I think it's a fair assessment. Okay. I mean, you're making me feel like I'm fucking like a John D. Rockefeller over here by saying I'm not frying fucking hot dogs in my studio apartment with my wife and eating a small bag of potato chips. You got a studio doing pretty good. I got a railroad shared. All right, let's see here. We got time for one more. This one. This is. He's ever spent the whole day at Disney World. Come back to your hotel room with a note that says, remember, Mickey says no smoking inside the hotel room. P.S. my grandpa crumbled up the letter and said, I'll be damned if some mouse tells me where I can't smoke. That's an old school kind of guy.

[H. Foley]

Disney, man. They don't. They don't. They're always selling it.

[Kevin Ryan]

Sure.

[H. Foley]

Mickey say.

[Kevin Ryan]

Remember Mickey said. Forget it's Mickey.

[H. Foley]

He says he's gonna break your fucking legs.

[Kevin Ryan]

Listen here, old timer, Keep.

[H. Foley]

Keep smoking heaters in here hanging up the balcony.

[Kevin Ryan]

Yeah, that's. That's great, but that. He says, this is late. Not late 90s is a little late for that. That's right on the. That's when a grandfather. Late 90s, you're not. I'm smoking wherever I grew up. I've been smoking wherever I had been smoking for 35 years.

[H. Foley]

Yeah.

[Kevin Ryan]

I'm smoking in this hotel room.

[H. Foley]

Late 90s, you were still smoking in restaurants.

[Kevin Ryan]

Yeah. Borderline. Where? No, I'm just saying. Yeah, it's like a lot of places were changing at that time.

[H. Foley]

Yeah.

[Kevin Ryan]

Late 90s, early 2000s, when everything started, at least in this area started. New York was no smoking. California was no smoking.

[H. Foley]

Leave. You can't smoke inside anymore. There's kids in there.

[Kevin Ryan]

Sure. Smoking or non catching?

[H. Foley]

It's a candy store, sir.

[Kevin Ryan]

Catching skeeties. But we gotta wrap it up.

[H. Foley]

What a fun one, gang. We love you to death. Make sure you check out the Route 66 special when it comes out February 25th.

[Kevin Ryan]

Yes. And we're all over the road. The Back on the Block tour. Tickets are moving, shows are selling out, and as we're doing one run, so we're gonna can't add shows everywhere. So get your tickets now. Don't snooze because you're gonna lose.

[H. Foley]

We love you. See you next week.

[Kevin Ryan]

Peace.