Starbucks VS Dunkin' w/ Kevin Ryan & H. Foley

Summary

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Are You Garbage? – "Starbucks VS Dunkin' w/ Kevin Ryan & H. Foley"

Podcast Summary
Release Date: September 4, 2025
Hosts: Kevin Ryan & H. Foley

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Episode Overview

In this classic “family episode,” Kevin Ryan and H. Foley, hosts of Are You Garbage?, fire off their signature banter as they debate the merits of Starbucks versus Dunkin', scrutinize the garbage-y details of everyday life, and riff on everything from couch inventions to family Facebook drama. With no guest this week, it’s pure, unfiltered back-and-forth as the self-proclaimed “bozos and homies” dive into their own trashy habits, obsessions, and pet peeves—while fielding outrageous listener questions and, of course, keeping the laughs rolling nonstop.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Garbage Inventions & Couch Living

• Kevin’s “Couch Board” Hack:
  • Kevin describes using a beat-up cutting board as a makeshift table on the couch for feeding his baby.
  • Foley instantly trashes the board for being “all sliced up” and smelling like onion.
  • “Dude. You—who have you been chopping up on that thing? That’s like Freddy Krueger’s fucking nightstand.” (Tay Trolley, 08:54)
  • They riff on branding: “We’ll call it the couch board.” (Tay Trolley, 12:33)
• Dreaming Big:
  • Foley mock-pitches investing in the couch board (“For 10 grand, I would want a 50% investment... and one of them baby bottles.” 12:50).
  • The bit spirals into Shark Tank parody, poking fun at their own business acumen (“I need to borrow some after the show.” Tay Trolley, 12:23).

2. Starbucks VS Dunkin’—Coffee and Class

• Mug Preferences and Coffee Loyalty:
  • Kevin admits to buying Starbucks mugs for their design and functionality:
    • “They're engineered by people—the smartest people in the coffee industry!” (Kevin Ryan, 15:52)
    • Foley roasts him—“That’s a girl move. You buy the little thermoses too? With a little bedazzle on them?” (Tay Trolley, 16:05)
  • They compare company sizes: Starbucks ($31.6 billion) vs. Dunkin’ ($11.9 billion), noting Starbucks’ dominance but their own roots in Dunkin’ “extra extra” orders.
  • Discussion of the trashiness of eating munchkins and breakfast sandwiches in a gas station parking lot (21:30).
  • “Those are the trashiest Dunkin Donuts, the ones that are in gas stations.” (Kevin Ryan, 21:34)
• Coffee Order Trashiness:
  • Foley confesses liking his coffee dark and bemoans the lack of dark roast at Dunkin', feeling like he’s always “trying to help you out against Starbucks” (Kevin Ryan, 22:47).

3. Day-to-Day Trashiness & Fashion Riffs

• Cutting Board Judgments:
  • Foley doubles down on roasting the state of Kevin’s cutting board, calling it “real trashy…like you made that in wood shop” (Tay Trolley, 13:41).
• Department Store Status:
  • They debate what counts as “shopping nice” (Brooks Brothers, Burberry, Banana Republic), with Foley longing for a checked Burberry button-down (28:08).
  • “For me, Banana Republic. This is banana. I feel classy, I feel nice. I can wear this to a nice dinner.” (Kevin Ryan, 28:43)
• Weight Loss & Wardrobe:
  • Foley’s desire to lose weight and shop for new clothes (“I wish I could walk into the Gap on a Saturday afternoon and grab an outfit for tonight.” Tay Trolley, 31:11)
  • Kevin encourages, “You could…You just gotta try harder” (31:19).

4. Listener Questions: 'Are You Garbage?' Nuggets

• Facebook Relationship Status:
  • Is it garbage to list your status as “divorced” on Facebook?
  • Kevin: “That’s a thing that is jammed up.” (33:05)
  • Foley theorizes it signals you’re “not looking to get tied down…just want to have a good time, do some kinky shit, go out to dinner, and that’s it.” (Tay Trolley, 33:54)
• Ice in Soda:
  • Listener wonders if putting an ice cube in your mouth and then sipping soda (to avoid dilution) is trashy.
  • Foley initially rages: “I’m gonna fucking lose it. That’s…a…” (Tay Trolley, 47:30)
  • But, showing personal growth, he apologizes and embraces beverage freedom:
    • “I was completely wrong to push my lifestyle on you. You do your thing.” (Tay Trolley, 50:05)
• Earplug Substitutes:
  • Is it garbage to use cigarette filters as earplugs at loud events?
  • Foley says, “All that carci...carcinogens are stuck in there, and then you're shoving that as close to the brain as you can get…that ain't good.” (Kevin Ryan, 52:16)
• Running Out of Gas:
  • Is it garbage to run out of gas multiple times in a day to save money for “heaters and beer”?
  • Kevin shares, “I’ve been a $5 on pump 2 guy…I get that.” (53:38)
  • Tales of riding out gas tanks on empty, familial stories, and coasting into stations.

5. Wild Tangents, Memories & Self-Reflection

• Hotel Pool Trashiness:
  • Is it garbage to let kids use the emergency lifesaver as a pool floaty?
  • “That’s not a fun floaty device. That's like hard plastic, you know?” (Kevin Ryan, 39:43)
• Car Culture & Judgment:
  • Jeep Wave and Rubber Ducks: “Wranglers are for broads now, I guess.” (Kevin Ryan, 57:59)
  • VW Bugs and Herbie, reminiscing about cars that don’t make sense for their families (60:32).
• The Old Yeller/Early Disney Sadness:
  • “Old Yeller was brutal. Fucking blew his brains out behind the cabin.” (Tay Trolley, 59:51)
• Weight & Time:
  • Reflection on appearance and weight loss through past episodes and COVID.
  • “I was a thin guy. Yeah, not anymore.” (Kevin Ryan, 44:06)

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

“Dude. You—who have you been chopping up on that thing? That’s like Freddy Krueger’s fucking nightstand.”
— Tay Trolley (08:54)

“They're engineered by people—the smartest people in the coffee industry! What are you talking about?”
— Kevin Ryan (15:52)

“That’s a girl move. You buy the little thermoses too? With a little bedazzle on them?”
— Tay Trolley (16:05)

“I remember being my fattest, driving to work with an Arizona iced tea, a bacon, egg and cheese, and a solo cup of munchkins. Sit in the BP parking lot—those are the trashiest Dunkin Donuts, the ones in gas stations.”
— Kevin Ryan (21:29)

“I was completely wrong to push my lifestyle on you. You do your thing. You wanna have a cup of ice next to you and do an ice and take a sip, you do that.”
— Tay Trolley (50:05)

“I’ve been a $5 on pump 2 guy…I get that.”
— Kevin Ryan (53:38)

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Timestamps for Important Segments

• Couch Board Hack/Invention Pitch: 07:15 – 13:00
• Starbucks vs. Dunkin’ Debate: 15:44 – 17:20, 22:38 – 24:41
• Munchkins & Gas Station Dunkin’: 20:23 – 21:43
• Listener Q (Facebook ‘Divorced’ Status): 32:41 – 34:55
• Listener Q (Ice Cubes & Soda): 47:11 – 50:22
• Listener Q (Cigarette Butts as Earplugs): 51:48 – 52:48
• Hotels and Pool Trashiness: 38:37 – 40:54
• Car Stories/Running Out of Gas: 53:38 – 57:43
• Jeep & VW Bug Car Riffs: 57:59 – 60:56

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Tone & Style

True to form, the episode is brash and rapid-fire, with Foley and Ryan roasting each other, trading family secrets, and skewering everyday behaviors with a Philly edge. The tone is self-deprecating, wild, and accessible—full of loving insults and honest admissions of trashiness.

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In Summary

This "family episode" delivers classic Are You Garbage? dynamics: playful mockery, stories of desperate broke living and questionable habits, and a surprisingly deep, if still crude, camaraderie. The Starbucks vs. Dunkin' debate is more a jumping-off point as the hosts spiral through their own trashy lives—and those of their listeners—with equal parts shame and pride.

Recommended for fans of working class comedy, self-awareness, and reckless personal anecdotes.

Transcript

[Tay Trolley]

I got a question for all you bozos and homies out there. Do you think you're garbage Will come find out. The boys are about to hit the road for that back on the block tour. We're starting out there on the left coast, baby.

[Kevin Ryan]

Yeah. We got San Francisco, Portland, Seattle, Brea. Then we got Burlington, Vermont, Boston, Massachusetts, Atlanta, Charlotte, Raleigh, Richmond, Baltimore, Philadelphia at the Met, Rochester, Toronto. Guys, get your tickets now. These will sell out. We love you. They'll see you on the road.

[Tay Trolley]

Welcome to another exciting edition of are you garbage? The show where you find out if your favorite comedians are classy individuals or absolute trash. Now, here are your hosts, Kevin Ryan and H. Foley. Hey, everybody out there. And welcome back to everybody's favorite podcast. This is are you garbage?

[Kevin Ryan]

Oh, yeah. It's that little show.

[Tay Trolley]

We sit down with your favorite comedians and we find that it's a good to be classy. Yeah, they're just a big old piece of trash.

[Kevin Ryan]

Trash, trash, trash.

[Tay Trolley]

I'm your host, Tay Trolley coming at you on a beautiful day. We're out back here with Tooties and the new Edition Condition. She killed a ladybug last night, okay?

[Kevin Ryan]

She's fucked. All right?

[Tay Trolley]

My cousin's coming at you from across the table. He is the CEO of are you Garbage? He's Internet management. He's an international businessman.

[Kevin Ryan]

I get you flustered, don't I?

[Tay Trolley]

And my best pal in the whole wide world, give it up for KJ Kevin James Ryan. Because I was thinking of trying to explain to you, okay. Why that didn't hit.

[Kevin Ryan]

Because it wasn't a joke. It was more of a statement, which.

[Tay Trolley]

It's a joke in itself. If you kill a ladybug, that's bad luck. So she screwed.

[Kevin Ryan]

Now I get it.

[Tay Trolley]

So you don't know about that kind of stuff.

[Kevin Ryan]

Hey, hit the laughter. What's up, gang? Shout out to a bunch of gang laughter. What's up, gang? Shout out.

[Tay Trolley]

Talking so fast. Because I was trying to explain that to you. In. In my head. And spit out. Do my.

[Kevin Ryan]

Okay, now you're ruining the rest of the show. You ruined the duty. That's your fault. Now let me try to dig us out of. Hey, you're your crabs in a barrel, buddy. Let me fly. Let me fly, baby. Shout out to you. I got to do the goddamn business up here. We got me all fostered, man. Your ladybug stink is all over me. Make sure you raise your.

[Tay Trolley]

Everybody got that out there?

[Kevin Ryan]

Listen, I understood it as a sentence for sure. I didn't. I wasn't confused.

[Tay Trolley]

And meaning that her and I are so crazy when it comes to that stuff that, you know, now she's petrified because. Because she's gonna die because she accidentally.

[Kevin Ryan]

I'm pretty sure you killed a ladybug on your way here.

[Tay Trolley]

I know.

[Kevin Ryan]

Talk about your seven years of bad luck starting today.

[Tay Trolley]

It was on Saturday night. I did it by accident.

[Kevin Ryan]

Okay. All right, now. Now we're all right. Stop. Shout out, gang.

[Tay Trolley]

His little tail came out once. A tail. You know what I'm talking about. That little thing came out. I was like, oh man, I'm going straight to hell. So I wrote a titty out of it.

[Kevin Ryan]

Yeah. Should have bounced that off the. Should have bounced that off in the writers meeting.

[Tay Trolley]

Luke thought it was good, right?

[Kevin Ryan]

Nope. Guys, make sure you rate view subscribe on itunes. Full video available on YouTube. Also full video available over there on Spotify. And hit them big man. All right. I could have lady book look over.

[Tay Trolley]

I'm crying.

[Kevin Ryan]

Obviously I didn't mean it.

[Tay Trolley]

We're climbing the charts over there.

[Kevin Ryan]

The greatest website of all time. Www.patreon.com garbage. Go over there. You get all that bonus content, gang. I'm talking episodes. Hard feelings every week, which is the runaway hit. Bonus episodes. Ayg. All the bonus content from the past four or five years, whatever we've been banging over there. Check that out. And then the boys are hitting the road. I cannot wait. There's a little bit of chill in the air. We're getting back on the planes, we're getting back in the van and we're going boots on the ground to meet the army of friggin gabbage.

[Tay Trolley]

Dear God, get me out of this dump. Let me get a couple of miles.

[Kevin Ryan]

Out of this city between you and the devil.

[Tay Trolley]

I need the homies. I need the homies in the bozo. I need big when you see, I'll go. Heck, I need a big hug. All right.

[Kevin Ryan]

These guys fighting. Seven years of bad luck.

[Tay Trolley]

I can't wait to get back out there.

[Kevin Ryan]

Yeah, get your tickets. Starting on the first runs on the west coast, we got LA Seattle, two shows in San Fran and Portland. Get them tickies. And hang out with the boys.

[Tay Trolley]

Yeah, come hang out with the boys. Speaking of which, you got a little family episode going here if you couldn't tell. Just the boys, the bozos and homies. And before we get that started, let's take a little stroll by the corner office and say, what's up? The embodiment of summer. It's all over. Back to school. Luke, look at him over there, huh?

[Kevin Ryan]

My pumpkin spice latte.

[Tay Trolley]

Today you had your pumpkin spice latte. You did your U.S. open. You watched the Little Rich Girl. Yeah. Little finale of all your shows, your summer house and all that kind of stuff. Now look at you. Now it's. Now it's back to school when you're.

[Kevin Ryan]

What sorority are you pledging this year? I'm Russian Theta Kappa.

[Tay Trolley]

What did you get your high. High leather boots that you're gonna go apple picking in?

[Kevin Ryan]

Of course.

[Tay Trolley]

And all that stuff.

[Kevin Ryan]

All the fall colors. Reds in the season boys.

[Tay Trolley]

Look at them.

[Kevin Ryan]

All right. What you got, asshole?

[Tay Trolley]

I can't play along. Get tight body on that kid.

[Kevin Ryan]

All right, I got a little something I want to. I want to share with the class here.

[Tay Trolley]

You do?

[Kevin Ryan]

Now bend over and pull them apart. I do you ever. Like I was doing something where I was like, ah, this is genius. And then for like a couple of days afterwards, it hit me where I'm like, ah, this is. This might be. And I'm bringing this to the court.

[Tay Trolley]

An invention.

[Kevin Ryan]

You had something a little bit.

[Tay Trolley]

See, I told you.

[Kevin Ryan]

You're not wrong. You did. You did mention it.

[Tay Trolley]

Right?

[Kevin Ryan]

Isn't an invention, though. This is just. I. Hold on. So as you know, I have a baby.

[Tay Trolley]

Yes.

[Kevin Ryan]

And yes. We sit on the cow. We have a puffy couch. It's a puffy, like, not like a. Not a firm couch, you know?

[Tay Trolley]

I mean, you squish into it.

[Kevin Ryan]

Yeah, it's a little soft, softer couch. More than a firmer couch.

[Tay Trolley]

But I like getting out of it. No. Yeah.

[Kevin Ryan]

I like getting in it, though. I tell you that. There's a sock or something. There's a lump in one of the cushions. I can't figure out what the hell is going. It's like a softballs in there, right? And right in your keystone.

[Tay Trolley]

Check it out. It could be a key or something.

[Kevin Ryan]

So I sit on the couch. You got a little pillow goes on your lap. He leans on the pillow. You feed him the bottle. Whole nine yards.

[Tay Trolley]

Oh, yeah. You feed it what you're feeding them over here. You don't sit him like this and give him the bottle.

[Kevin Ryan]

He sits on your lap. It was like a wedge pillow we bought.

[Tay Trolley]

Oh, I got.

[Kevin Ryan]

He leans on that, stares at you. You just got to do that. He's a be a big fat baby. You know what I mean?

[Tay Trolley]

Right?

[Kevin Ryan]

Seven percent, though. He ain't. He ain't light.

[Tay Trolley]

Wait, is your arm on that thing? And you like that?

[Kevin Ryan]

He's just right there. Your hands. I'm hands Free. Minus the one bottle.

[Tay Trolley]

Wow.

[Kevin Ryan]

Minus. You know. So I got, you know. Hey, this guy's even 15, 6. He's like you 15, 16 times a day. He needs a BOPA. You know what I mean? So he. And then you. You know, we have like our. A coffee. Iced coffee, whatever. You know what I mean? A water. You got the tv, you got the remote. You got your phone. Because you spend a lot of time feeding this old guy. So you gotta, you know, I gotta be texting. I gotta be breaking your balls. I gotta be yelling at Luke. You know, the whole nine yards, whatever it is.

[Tay Trolley]

A little command area.

[Kevin Ryan]

Yeah.

[Tay Trolley]

About how long does it take him to suck one of them down?

[Kevin Ryan]

That depends.

[Tay Trolley]

Two seconds.

[Kevin Ryan]

If he's really going at it.

[Tay Trolley]

Tom the cat with a cigarette.

[Kevin Ryan]

Anywhere. Anywhere from 10 to 30 minutes.

[Tay Trolley]

Call it 30 minutes.

[Kevin Ryan]

If he still might be asleepy head.

[Tay Trolley]

What's he watching? A Seinfeld.

[Kevin Ryan]

You got programming on. You know what I mean? Likes that Joey Tribbiani.

[Tay Trolley]

Have you shown him Seinfeld?

[Kevin Ryan]

No, I don't think so.

[Tay Trolley]

What? The first thing I did, that's like. You know when they play classical music in like a baby's crib?

[Kevin Ryan]

I do that.

[Tay Trolley]

You should be showing him Seinfeld's buckles.

[Kevin Ryan]

We're riffing. Jerry. Jerry, please get this kid funny. Can you get me on the Tonight Show?

[Tay Trolley]

Better move that car, girl.

[Kevin Ryan]

I can't do the voiceless.

[Tay Trolley]

What about Jose Feliciano? That's the second time they mentioned him. I didn't realize he was blind.

[Kevin Ryan]

When I don't.

[Tay Trolley]

When at the record store. Jose Feliciano can't walk down the street and which of a call.

[Kevin Ryan]

That's his problem. All right?

[Tay Trolley]

Screwing around.

[Kevin Ryan]

So what I've been doing. Because I need a little station here, right? Because I got a bed. I got a bad armor. A thinner armrest. I can get a cup of coffee on there. You know what I mean? But really balance it. Not with him. If it's just me or the dog. Well, like, you know. So I need a. So I've been taking my cutting board and putting it next to me on the couch. As a little loop. Please. As a little station. Pretty good, right?

[Tay Trolley]

It's a whack ass cut.

[Kevin Ryan]

That thing's got some miles.

[Tay Trolley]

Dude. You. Who have you been chopping up on that thing? Look at. That's like Freddy Krueger's fucking nightstand.

[Kevin Ryan]

It gets a lot of use. The Europeans like a lot of fresh produce. I'm more of a canned peas kind of guy.

[Tay Trolley]

Cutting deep. Someone's Cutting with emotion. That's crazy. That thing's all sliced up.

[Kevin Ryan]

But the other day, my cup smelled a little oniony, so, like, I don't think I got it. I didn't get a good wash on.

[Tay Trolley]

The board, but that does always have a little garlic. Yeah, I can't get it out. I see where you're going with this application.

[Kevin Ryan]

While I'm not trying to impress anybody, I'm not having company over now. It is. I'm managing. But what can we do with this? I bet. So we have a bigger clean one that's, like, a big one. And I've been using. I've upgraded, but this was the original prototype I wanted to share, and I think. It's not classy. It's trashy. I'm using it pretty, you know, arguably not. Super clean cutting board. It's clean. It's. You know. But whatever I got. You got a little bit of stench to it. But I got a big, nice, clean one now, and that's like. That's like your little desk. That thing is sliced. I know. It's jammed up. That's a wacky remote. That TV stinks. It stinks.

[Tay Trolley]

Dude, you only get Ukrainian news on that. That thing is rough.

[Kevin Ryan]

I only get drone footage. It's bad. It's bad. That's a bad tv. I've never met a slow, smart tv. This thing's been held back. You press like, I want to watch YouTube TV. It takes 20 minutes. It's so bad Now, Luke. Would that be a TV thing? That's just a bad tv. Because the Internet's quick, fat, like, all. Like, everything else streams.

[Tay Trolley]

I. But, yeah, that's data processing in your smart tv.

[Kevin Ryan]

So slow.

[Tay Trolley]

It's the RAM in your tv. Or rom, whichever way you want to say it.

[Kevin Ryan]

Okay.

[Tay Trolley]

You know, difference between RAM and rom?

[Kevin Ryan]

Yeah.

[Tay Trolley]

Yeah.

[Kevin Ryan]

No religion.

[Tay Trolley]

Do you know the difference between RAM and rom?

[Kevin Ryan]

I don't think so.

[Tay Trolley]

I never rommed it in your mouth.

[Kevin Ryan]

Nothing on that, Luke. I knew we were going with it.

[Tay Trolley]

Computer. That's computer Science lab humor right there.

[Kevin Ryan]

No wonder you failed out. Tell him, Ms. Bressi. Your teacher. I'll ram it in your ass. No, I'll ram it in my ass. Wait.

[Tay Trolley]

What? Hang on a second. All right, if you're looking. Okay, first of all, I wouldn't.

[Kevin Ryan]

Unless. I wouldn't have this out when companies come up family. Sure. But if I'm entertaining.

[Tay Trolley]

Are you asking me, what can we do with this? As far as a product, no.

[Kevin Ryan]

I don't know why you keep thinking I want to get into business with you.

[Tay Trolley]

I think you do.

[Kevin Ryan]

We're already in business, and that's enough business. I don't need. I don't need side ventures.

[Tay Trolley]

I was gonna tell you.

[Kevin Ryan]

Nope, I don't want to.

[Tay Trolley]

They kind of have something like.

[Kevin Ryan]

I'm sure they do.

[Tay Trolley]

They do, because a lot of people have. Have soft ottomans now. You know what I mean?

[Kevin Ryan]

Yeah, but that's. Nikki, I'm talking. I need something that's like a TV.

[Tay Trolley]

Tray, really, is what you got there. I'm not figuring out something now.

[Kevin Ryan]

Listen, hey, we could. Hey, Mr. Wonderful. Zip it. We could figure out him on the show.

[Tay Trolley]

How much would you want as an initial investment?

[Kevin Ryan]

From you?

[Tay Trolley]

Yes.

[Kevin Ryan]

Oh, okay. I didn't know you were bringing money to the table.

[Tay Trolley]

I bring money to the table.

[Kevin Ryan]

I know you don't have it. I'm well aware I need to borrow.

[Tay Trolley]

Some after the show.

[Kevin Ryan]

It's crazy.

[Tay Trolley]

How much would you want to try to get this thing off the ground?

[Kevin Ryan]

Well, I mean, I could easily just go buy. Wholesale cutting.

[Tay Trolley]

We'll call it the couch board.

[Kevin Ryan]

Oh, that's not bad.

[Tay Trolley]

I got a nice guy. I have a beautiful couch board. I put everything on there right next to it.

[Kevin Ryan]

Couch table. No, I'm a little better than couch.

[Tay Trolley]

Hey, hey.

[Kevin Ryan]

Let me do the brainstorming here.

[Tay Trolley]

How much money do you want? All right, you're coming to me.

[Kevin Ryan]

10 grand.

[Tay Trolley]

Okay. For 10 grand, I would want a 50% investment in the company now. And one of them baby bottles.

[Kevin Ryan]

He seems to like him so much. And I want you to feed me.

[Tay Trolley]

See what that milk's all about. Talk to me. So what do you want to know here? Are you a dirt ball?

[Kevin Ryan]

Sure, man. I'm just. My first time really getting eyes on that cutting board in HD like that. That is jammed up.

[Tay Trolley]

That rag ain't great either. Is it the baby? Is that the baby?

[Kevin Ryan]

No, they're baby rags. Those things are all over the house.

[Tay Trolley]

You need a booze.

[Kevin Ryan]

A booze.

[Tay Trolley]

Booze, Booze. Cutting board.

[Kevin Ryan]

Okay.

[Tay Trolley]

Didn't I tell you?

[Kevin Ryan]

We got to cut. We got a lot of cutting boards. I'm not. No, that's fine. That's the knock around board.

[Tay Trolley]

Yeah, that's.

[Kevin Ryan]

That is what it is.

[Tay Trolley]

That's real trashy. That's like you made that in wood shop. That's thin, too.

[Kevin Ryan]

Yeah. What you need. Sometimes the heavy ones aren't. The heavy ones are. I got something like that. I don't. I don't need any of that.

[Tay Trolley]

That's what I.

[Kevin Ryan]

This is why you're broke. You're spending $55 on a cutting board and then order UberEats.

[Tay Trolley]

Food Freak told me to get one. I got the exact.

[Kevin Ryan]

He's a. He's a chef. You, sir, are no chef. Yeah, Boyardee, maybe.

[Tay Trolley]

Yeah, I like that.

[Kevin Ryan]

Listen, I like. You're out there. If you're a single parent like me and you're out there struggling and you want to have your cup of coffee and not spill it, I recommend going cutting board, clean cutting board on a couch.

[Tay Trolley]

Get your coffee in an old frying pan, and that way it doesn't. Oh, my God.

[Kevin Ryan]

What hit me?

[Tay Trolley]

All this needs is.

[Kevin Ryan]

What do you got a it?

[Tay Trolley]

There should be a lip on it. That way if the coffee spilled, it wouldn't get all over the couch. It would stay in there.

[Kevin Ryan]

Not bad. That's like when my brother used to roll blunts in his car on an upside down Frisbee.

[Tay Trolley]

So it didn't go.

[Kevin Ryan]

So it didn't. So if he hit a fucking hard turn, he wouldn't lose the weed. Take that. See, the Ryans are generating ideas out here.

[Tay Trolley]

I used to chop up my blow in a coffee cup so it wouldn't spill anywhere.

[Kevin Ryan]

Well, there you go.

[Tay Trolley]

Remember one time I dropped a bag in the toilet? Think about it every day.

[Kevin Ryan]

First day I became a plumber. That's how I started my apprenticeship. Smash cut.

[Tay Trolley]

Turn the water off in the city.

[Kevin Ryan]

Shut it down.

[Tay Trolley]

Ripping the toilet out.

[Kevin Ryan]

I can't.

[Tay Trolley]

Once it gets wet, it's over.

[Kevin Ryan]

You dry it out.

[Tay Trolley]

No, you can't.

[Kevin Ryan]

Guy like you, all right, that's neither here nor there. All your. Your past, you know, discretions, Missteps. Are. Are all your mugs Starbucks mugs? Just out of curiosity. I bought a lot of them. Where? And where the fuck do you think I bought? The Starbucks.

[Tay Trolley]

Starbucks?

[Kevin Ryan]

Yeah.

[Tay Trolley]

What do you mean?

[Kevin Ryan]

Me and Ryan D. Talk about this a lot.

[Tay Trolley]

Calling him a bitch. And you're buying mugs at Starbucks?

[Kevin Ryan]

They're engineered by people. By the smartest people in the coffee industry. What are you talking about?

[Tay Trolley]

Dyson's not doing them. What are you talking about?

[Kevin Ryan]

Dyson's not in the coffee.

[Tay Trolley]

They're engineered. It's a regular coffee cup.

[Kevin Ryan]

It's not.

[Tay Trolley]

That's a girl move. You buy the little thermoses too? With a little bedazzle on them?

[Kevin Ryan]

Yeah, I have the one that I bring. That's a collaboration with Farm Rio. It's got flowers all over it. And I was thinking that You've called me out. You've seen you call me out on them. I like. The functionality of them is fantastic. They're designed perfectly by people who. No one sells more coffee than Starbucks.

[Tay Trolley]

Is that true?

[Kevin Ryan]

I'm sure.

[Tay Trolley]

Who sells the most coffee in the world?

[Kevin Ryan]

Not in the world. I didn't stipulate the world. The greater tri State area. It's got to be Starbucks.

[Tay Trolley]

Tim Horton.

[Kevin Ryan]

It ain't Gregory's or Jeffries. Starbucks, is it? Yeah.

[Tay Trolley]

In the world.

[Kevin Ryan]

Who's even close to being bigger? There's no Tim Hortons in America. Probably one in Buffalo. Trader ass. I'm kidding.

[Tay Trolley]

I like Tim Hortons.

[Kevin Ryan]

Yeah, it's fine. There's no Beezers. But Listen, Starbucks does 31.6 billion. Duncan does 11.9 billion. Damn, Duncan. Listen, I grew up. I was a extra extra. That was my. Can I get an extra large, extra sugar, extra cream at Dunkin. That was my order. That's what got me. Extra crawler, an extra dozen donuts, an extra set of dinkies.

[Tay Trolley]

Kept us talking about trade coffee.

[Kevin Ryan]

Trade coffee.

[Tay Trolley]

The best coffee in the business, you know. You know, I'm a seasoned guy. Starting to cool down a little bit. The fall's coming in. Nothing like a warm, cozy, soothing cup of hot coffee. And when you're reaching for your coffee, do yourself a favor. Get over to Trade. The best coffee in the world.

[Kevin Ryan]

Yeah. As you guys may or may not know, we're a big coffee crew.

[Tay Trolley]

Coffee.

[Kevin Ryan]

Big coffee.

[Tay Trolley]

Drink coffee with our coffee buddy.

[Kevin Ryan]

We get it. We, we, we, we make it in house. We get it on the road. We bebop, we scat. Coffee trade is the number one coffee destination in the US for both hot and cold coffee drinkers. And boy, we got both on the team. You're a cold man.

[Tay Trolley]

I forgot about the cold brew.

[Kevin Ryan]

They source the best beans from over 50 top roasters across the U.S. they even have easy to use curated gear so you can brew at home with better flavor and value than any other cafe or bottled cold brew that you're gonna find on a market trades prices are on par with grocery store brands. Plus the quality is next level, baby. Whether it's smooth cold brew or a cozy hot cup to start your day. Plus you're supporting local roasters with every cup. It's a win win. Right now, trade is offering 50% off a one month [e-mail] garbage. That's drinktrade.com garbage. You get 50% off one month. Drinktrade.com garbage. Do it.

[Tay Trolley]

Okay, we gotta talk about Thrive.

[Kevin Ryan]

Shout out.

[Tay Trolley]

I like that. Thrive Market who don't like that good stuff. It's wholesome, it's delicious. Those chips they sent over, listen, they're better. They're, they're, they're a million times crispier and crunchier.

[Kevin Ryan]

I know.

[Tay Trolley]

Than the leading brand that comes in that same kind of container.

[Kevin Ryan]

Easy does it there, big dog. You're gonna get the, you're gonna have the suits all. They're gonna be red tape.

[Tay Trolley]

Delicious, wholesome, fantastic snacks. Get over to Thrive, man. They put the basket together for you. It's real nice. And I'll tell you what else too, they had that. They were, they were, they were gluten free cookies that had like, they were like oatmeal. Dude. They were unbelievable.

[Kevin Ryan]

Listen, all, all, all marketing aside, Thrive sends us packages that the boys hit like raccoons. It's crazy. These boxes come and everybody goes, what's that? Someone goes thrive and they can, they convert. The snacks are that good. They're that high quality. You can cut out artificial dyes, processed sugar, seed oils, all that kind of stuff. The stuff at the regular store is junk drives got the good stuff.

[Tay Trolley]

It's all chemicals over there. Thrive, all natural and delicious.

[Kevin Ryan]

Yeah.

[Tay Trolley]

What do you want to do?

[Kevin Ryan]

They got from seven sundaes to snack packs, the healthy swaps or your on the go lifestyle right here. Go to thrivemarket.com garbage to get 30% off your first order and a free $60 gift. That's thrive market.com garbage. Do it.

[Tay Trolley]

You like the munchkin, didn't you, man?

[Kevin Ryan]

Now I would get stuff in your.

[Tay Trolley]

Cheeks like a squirrel.

[Kevin Ryan]

I remember being my fattest, driving to work with a, with a, with an Arizona iced tea. A bacon, egg and cheese. Or it would be a sausage, egg and cheese because I like the density of sausage, egg and cheese.

[Tay Trolley]

One of those solo cups of munchkins.

[Kevin Ryan]

That they started doing. Oh man, at the checkout I ever seen. Talk about an impulse buy.

[Tay Trolley]

Let me get a handful.

[Kevin Ryan]

A little bit of walking, a couple of walking around. Munch.

[Tay Trolley]

Dude, those things are instant heartburn. Especially with an Arizona.

[Kevin Ryan]

I had them. They were down the shore. I guess the last time I was down, I saw the kids had them and I mean I crushed about. Well, the kids didn't like the chocolate ones. I guess they're young kids. They don't know that's it. That's a different kind of cake. You know what I mean? Yeah, no. Two and a quarter crazy. And there was about seven of them in there, man. And I did the one and then like woke up And I had four more in my mouth at the same.

[Tay Trolley]

Time once you start walking down that road.

[Kevin Ryan]

But I would do that. I'd sit in a BP parking lot. Those are the trashiest Dunkin Donuts, the ones that are in gas stations. Oh, no one else is doing that.

[Tay Trolley]

With a Baskin Robbins hooked on to them. And maybe a Taco Bell or Togos. What's a Toko place?

[Kevin Ryan]

No, that was four of my members of my extended family at a brief stint in franchising. And it was a. It was. It was a Togos of. Or was it a tcby? What the hell is that?

[Tay Trolley]

TCBY was banging for a second.

[Kevin Ryan]

Was that ice cream?

[Tay Trolley]

Yeah. Frozen yogurt.

[Kevin Ryan]

Anywho, I would sit there to be in the gas station of the bp. I remember I'd get gas and then eat and I'd be like, I can taste the fucking petrol on me hands. And I'd have some of them tots, which there's not enough of them. But that's neither here nor there. I don't have time to get into. But that's why Duncan slipping. And I like a dark coffee. I do. Duncan got me into coffee. While on Duncan got me into coffee, I go get it. I try to order a dark roast at some of these places because I like the place.

[Tay Trolley]

It's strong.

[Kevin Ryan]

I like it strong. And they go, oh, every time I go there, we don't have a brewed. I go, I'm trying to. I'm trying to help you out against Starbucks. I'm trying.

[Tay Trolley]

He's a pike. Man likes a pike.

[Kevin Ryan]

Or dark pike.

[Tay Trolley]

Dark roast.

[Kevin Ryan]

My wife got me on dark rose now. Yeah, Likes in the middle, is it? Yeah.

[Tay Trolley]

Well, you are an expert. Listen, when you go into Starbucks, you're getting that mug.

[Kevin Ryan]

But hold on.

[Tay Trolley]

That you're buying that retail. You're saying, let me get this.

[Kevin Ryan]

Yeah.

[Tay Trolley]

And then where do you go with it? You take it right home.

[Kevin Ryan]

Huh.

[Tay Trolley]

Huh?

[Kevin Ryan]

There's no.

[Tay Trolley]

I've never seen you do something like that.

[Kevin Ryan]

Maybe it's a new me, you know.

[Tay Trolley]

New Horizon says you have a bunch of them. I've never been in a Starbucks with you where you bought something a retail. Or you bought a thermos. Yeah, I only seen chicks do that shit. They buy whatever's in season.

[Kevin Ryan]

It's not in season. It's functional. I.

[Tay Trolley]

Listen, do you know what I'm saying here?

[Kevin Ryan]

Can I. Yeah. And you're not letting me explain myself. I have been to Starbucks other times. First of all, we're naming three times.

[Tay Trolley]

Say I'm gay.

[Kevin Ryan]

I bought. I'm not saying that. The comments. And I'm pretty sure you are. Good. I've been in. I went to three times. I've made these purchases out of necessity.

[Tay Trolley]

So you don't have a bunch of them.

[Kevin Ryan]

I do. The one time I went in and bought like 5.5mugs. I like the mug. I don't know. It's bigger than most mugs. It holds better. The handles good. It sits well. It holds more. I don't know how else to explain it.

[Tay Trolley]

Okay.

[Kevin Ryan]

It's a better mug than the mugs I have at my hand than a normal standard.

[Tay Trolley]

I don't want to be a contrarian. It's something that I'm not used to. And it's nice to hear that. You know. It's nice to talk to somebody that does different things than I do. And I appreciate it. Maybe I'll start doing that.

[Kevin Ryan]

I know now you're stealing my ideas. You're just copying me like you do.

[Tay Trolley]

I'll get the ones from Dunkin Donuts.

[Kevin Ryan]

There you go. Filling with munchkins. I get 10 months filled with jelly donuts.

[Tay Trolley]

I don't think Dunkin Donuts has that kind of shit.

[Kevin Ryan]

I don't think they don't. That's why they're only doing $11 billion a year. Most of that money's mug money for me.

[Tay Trolley]

They do probably do do a lot.

[Kevin Ryan]

In retail food too.

[Tay Trolley]

Starbucks.

[Kevin Ryan]

Yeah. I think the CEO of Starbucks stepped down as the CEO of Starbucks to then just focus on mugs. The food aspect of it. The cafe. Like to really get the cafe booming.

[Tay Trolley]

I got it.

[Kevin Ryan]

Whatever. All that's neither here nor.

[Tay Trolley]

They got that egg white feta wrap.

[Kevin Ryan]

Yep. You like a handful of them.

[Tay Trolley]

Put those in a solo cup. Poor Dunkin Don. That sucks. They're managing 11 billion a year.

[Kevin Ryan]

Pretty good.

[Tay Trolley]

That's still pretty good.

[Kevin Ryan]

You think that's still not enough for you? You'd figure out a way to spend that.

[Tay Trolley]

Yeah.

[Kevin Ryan]

Yeah. You're like dyson in the 90s. Dude. Talk about blowing Cage.

[Tay Trolley]

I know how to get rid of half of that right now.

[Kevin Ryan]

Invest in my couch boards. I dumped 11 bill in couch boards.

[Tay Trolley]

Couch board. Couchboard.

[Kevin Ryan]

Coming to a Bed Bath and Beyond near you.

[Tay Trolley]

We could now it's out there. Everybody knows it.

[Kevin Ryan]

Who's defunct Bed Bath and Beyond. Right. Somebody bought them. Or like somebody bought their inventory.

[Tay Trolley]

They gave everything away. Those goddamn coupons.

[Kevin Ryan]

Retail just kind of went out of all that stuff that you can get a Bed Bath Beyond. Amazon. Have at your door in fucking 24 hours. Yeah, they're only online now.

[Tay Trolley]

Well, that's not going out of business.

[Kevin Ryan]

That's just. No, they went out of business. They went out of business. Someone bought a guy I know. Yeah.

[Tay Trolley]

Oh, sorry. Jimmy Buffett. I don't know.

[Kevin Ryan]

Hey, parrots. Go birds. He just looked me up and down to try to shit on me. I caught you. I caught you. Fucking scale from the forehead down to the tootsie wootsies to try to hit me. What did you. It was about the jacket or pants or something.

[Tay Trolley]

It's a nice jacket.

[Kevin Ryan]

Your hair coming in.

[Tay Trolley]

Lost a little bit of weight. Got a nice jacket on. I know where to go.

[Kevin Ryan]

What's. What's shopping nice for you?

[Tay Trolley]

Shopping? What do you mean going shopping?

[Kevin Ryan]

I guess you're a little. You're a little pegged down due to your Karen girth. But if you were a normal svelte man, what would be a nice store you'd like to hit?

[Tay Trolley]

To buy?

[Kevin Ryan]

Yeah, you're like, I need to buy like a nice Toys R Us. No clothes. Why would you have to be thin to shop at Toys R Us?

[Tay Trolley]

You don't, which is why it's awesome. I love a good. You know what? I love a good hobby store.

[Kevin Ryan]

Okay.

[Tay Trolley]

Walking by and find a good hobby store.

[Kevin Ryan]

They have the little guy who has no hobbies.

[Tay Trolley]

No, but they have the little die cast metal planes, like old World War II planes and stuff like that.

[Kevin Ryan]

That's cool.

[Tay Trolley]

That's fun. And like they have a Gundam stuff, you know, Gundam.

[Kevin Ryan]

Gundam style. Like that guy.

[Tay Trolley]

It's like Japanese Transformers kinda. But they're in space. I can't really follow the cartoons because they're dubbed in. I don't know what the hell they're saying, but they look like. They look like F14 tomcats when they kind of transform into like huge space robots and guys pilot them and they're cool looking. What was your question?

[Kevin Ryan]

Gay and a virgin, huh? Best of both worlds.

[Tay Trolley]

Amen, sister.

[Kevin Ryan]

Where would you go to shop?

[Tay Trolley]

Nice to buy night.

[Kevin Ryan]

Like, I don't understand what you're not understand why you're giving me attitude with.

[Tay Trolley]

Like when I lose all the weight.

[Kevin Ryan]

Yeah, and you're like Brooks Brothers. Okay, There you go, Burberry. You're not shopping it.

[Tay Trolley]

Yes, I am. I want to get a nice. One thing I want is a Burberry button down that Liam Gallagher had.

[Kevin Ryan]

Okay. All right. That's good.

[Tay Trolley]

Like the. The classic Burberry style, like with all the checks.

[Kevin Ryan]

Checks, yeah, that's. They're famous for their checked plaid or whatever. Yeah, they call that check. Plaid is bigger. I think checked is smaller.

[Tay Trolley]

Yeah, I want one of those.

[Kevin Ryan]

I.

[Tay Trolley]

What are those cost?

[Kevin Ryan]

600. What are you serious? Quick Goo. Yeah.

[Tay Trolley]

Damn.

[Kevin Ryan]

Are they that expensive? Burberry's that expensive? Yeah, they're back the streets. Get out of here. You know what? I go. I go high end. For me, Banana Republic. This is banana. I feel classy. I feel nice. I can wear this to a nice dinner.

[Tay Trolley]

Trash. No, I don't know. I wouldn't even know. I don't know. I'm just asking a Brooks Brothers.

[Kevin Ryan]

Okay, that's.

[Tay Trolley]

What about one of.

[Kevin Ryan]

That's because your brother used to shop there. Yeah, that's fine.

[Tay Trolley]

Barney's okay. I think they're closed.

[Kevin Ryan]

Yeah, I'm just. That's fine. You've answered.

[Tay Trolley]

I'd go to one of them joints downtown on Prince street or something like that. One of them designer places, right?

[Kevin Ryan]

You like Verity?

[Tay Trolley]

No. You like Ferty? Faraday's a ripoff. That shit's.

[Kevin Ryan]

Are they a sponsor? What are you doing? No.

[Tay Trolley]

No, they're not.

[Kevin Ryan]

Okay. Not this week anyway. Suck it. You snooze, you lose boners.

[Tay Trolley]

Make with the check, dork.

[Kevin Ryan]

Easy does it. I'm not going into business with you. You're thanking us.

[Tay Trolley]

No, I'd go to one of the designer places down on Spring street or whatever it is. You know what I'm talking about.

[Kevin Ryan]

You don't know what you're talking about? Kith.

[Tay Trolley]

What's that? What is.

[Kevin Ryan]

No, I don't want to kiss you.

[Tay Trolley]

What is that?

[Kevin Ryan]

Why don't you come over here?

[Tay Trolley]

Everybody's advertising chocolate company. What?

[Kevin Ryan]

Can I get my. Can I get my. Your gay joke. Why don't you come over here so I can kiss you? All right, ladies and gentlemen.

[Tay Trolley]

What is.

[Kevin Ryan]

No, it's not a chocolate company. You know, it's a clothing company.

[Tay Trolley]

I didn't know.

[Kevin Ryan]

I don't know. I just know rich guys wear.

[Tay Trolley]

Schultz. He's been put.

[Kevin Ryan]

Yeah, if Schultz is knowing it, I don't know it. Yeah, that's not my.

[Tay Trolley]

Just think Schultze knows about so many things that I've never even heard of. Just classic. I was gonna boy weight loss.

[Kevin Ryan]

No, I wasn't. No, I wasn't gonna say I go.

[Tay Trolley]

To one of them designer. One of them small shops downtown.

[Kevin Ryan]

Yeah, that's. But you're just saying a place that has historically had fashionable clothes for the past 50 years. You don't know. I asked you a name. You said Bricks Brothers. That's the answer.

[Tay Trolley]

Shelton's.

[Kevin Ryan]

I love their stuff.

[Tay Trolley]

I know some cool new designer down there. I wear his stuff for free. I'd say, you know, I'll wear your stuff.

[Kevin Ryan]

Who were you just, you know, to.

[Tay Trolley]

Get the word out there.

[Kevin Ryan]

Not paying for it. Yeah, no.

[Tay Trolley]

I get on it with like some hot broad and like a fucking. A fashion coordinator. I do a European accent, get free clothes.

[Kevin Ryan]

Uh huh.

[Tay Trolley]

And go get some of them munchkins.

[Kevin Ryan]

You'Ve talked ever so. Okay. All right, listen.

[Tay Trolley]

Abercrombie and Fitch. That's what I do.

[Kevin Ryan]

I'm just saying. Banana Republic, the Gap.

[Tay Trolley]

I wish I could. I wish I could work again. I wish, I wish I could walk into the Gap on a Saturday afternoon and gr. And grab an outfit for tonight. You know what I mean?

[Kevin Ryan]

You could.

[Tay Trolley]

I know. I.

[Kevin Ryan]

You know, I've been asking you.

[Tay Trolley]

What do you mean?

[Kevin Ryan]

I do that for five years.

[Tay Trolley]

I can't.

[Kevin Ryan]

You haven't. You gotta try harder.

[Tay Trolley]

No, no. I mean, yeah, yeah. I have to lose weight before I do that.

[Kevin Ryan]

No, I know, but it's been. And I've been asking you to lose weight for five years.

[Tay Trolley]

Yeah, like a nice. Go down there and buy like a nice jean jacket in the fall, you know. I look forward to that. I'm on the Zap bound. I'm on it.

[Kevin Ryan]

Okay.

[Tay Trolley]

Don't worry about me, folks.

[Kevin Ryan]

All right, listen, go ahead. I'll ask you neither here nor there.

[Tay Trolley]

I'm trying to do a program here.

[Kevin Ryan]

Trying to do a gosh darn family episode. We got to get.

[Tay Trolley]

Talking about your lame ideas and bad cutting boards.

[Kevin Ryan]

You just said it was a great idea and wanted to invest money in it. I got trying to lowball you. I gotta beat you up in this negotiation. Guys, as you know, when you join the old Patreon, the greatest website in the world, we'll answer your garbage question on the air.

[Tay Trolley]

Yes, sir.

[Kevin Ryan]

This one's from. Speaking of clothing, this one's from Foley's Goodfellows briefs. Are you still rocking the Goodfellows?

[Tay Trolley]

Now I'm out of them. I'm on. I think they're Harbor Bay or DXL brand. Either way, I went one too big and they're like real loose on me. They're not great.

[Kevin Ryan]

Okay?

[Tay Trolley]

Yeah, but I have so many of my just been using them.

[Kevin Ryan]

Sure, I'm with that $10 swim trunks. Taylor never had one. Red. Is it garbage to set your relationship status on Facebook to divorced dude? You. I mean that, that is a thing that is jammed up. But there was a time I Mean, Facebook's not big in our lives anymore, but there was a time when whether it's. It's complicated in a relationship, single date.

[Tay Trolley]

Like, nobody pays attention anymore, though.

[Kevin Ryan]

I think these older, like, people like my mom's age, like, that generate, though. I think the. The baby boomers are. That's their.

[Tay Trolley]

Jerry got divorced. Yeah.

[Kevin Ryan]

Divorced. That's. That's like. That's where they get their information, you know? But that is. But you got to let them know. But divorce, you could just say single. You don't need to divorce from that whore Mary.

[Tay Trolley]

Well, I think when. When you put divorced, it sends the signal to the broads that you're not looking for anything serious, but you're looking to have fun.

[Kevin Ryan]

I'm out there. You're trolling, right?

[Tay Trolley]

Divorced.

[Kevin Ryan]

Yeah. But so does.

[Tay Trolley]

No complications. I want something casual, okay. Not looking to get tied down with anything. Don't want anybody breaking my balls anymore. Busting chops.

[Kevin Ryan]

Sure.

[Tay Trolley]

Want to have a good time, do some kinky shit, go out to dinner, and that's it.

[Kevin Ryan]

Okay. All right. And that. Then that one's over, if you ask me. Sure.

[Tay Trolley]

In my opinion. I'm just guessing.

[Kevin Ryan]

Not on Facebook anymore, are you? It's kind of funny. I go. But I check my. I'll check.

[Tay Trolley]

I'm just. I'm just. I'm just trying to, you know, I'm just imagining what the mindset of somebody in that situation might be thinking. You know what I mean?

[Kevin Ryan]

Yeah. I mean, I picked up on it. It was pretty. Pretty well detailed.

[Tay Trolley]

I'm basing.

[Kevin Ryan]

I know you're just guessing. You know, I'll go back and look at Facebook memories of, like, the last 15 years, and, like, I would have made a status or what? You know, something. Something. Drinking beers is very, you know, whatever. Out getting smashed at the. Whatever. Whatever. I was like, down the street. Be like, Tully nuts tonight. Meet me at Keenan's, all that kind of.

[Tay Trolley]

Who's meeting you.

[Kevin Ryan]

At that point, you were talking to, like, the other people that were down the shore from Buck County. It was like, oh, I saw somebody be, like, headed down the shore. Oh, I saw Luke's down. Let's hit him up. No. And you would always comment, some jerk off. Yeah, yeah. No one cares, dude. And I'm like, you're 40 on me. I'm trying to have some friends.

[Tay Trolley]

I would.

[Kevin Ryan]

Yeah.

[Tay Trolley]

Wow.

[Kevin Ryan]

Sometimes you'd be nice and supportive. Other times you'd be a real bitch.

[Tay Trolley]

Quite the bastard, huh? I was drinking back then.

[Kevin Ryan]

Still am. Let's see. I think about our relationship. So long. Long relationship.

[Tay Trolley]

Yeah.

[Kevin Ryan]

And just so insane at times. It's wild how for 15 years, as crazy as we've each been at moments in times, we've each been on the same page, like, there's always. This one will go too far. Right? Whatever. Like, want to get 2 knots. Want to go too crazy. But, like, we can always fucking slap the other one and go right back to, like, this standard vibration of crazy, you know?

[Tay Trolley]

Love you, dog. We get that fucking couch board off the ground.

[Kevin Ryan]

Nothing but green lights. Meet me at Keenan's, dog. Whoo. I didn't have one Tully nut this goddamn summer.

[Tay Trolley]

That's good.

[Kevin Ryan]

No.

[Tay Trolley]

Yes, it is.

[Kevin Ryan]

It's good.

[Tay Trolley]

No, it's good.

[Kevin Ryan]

It's good, but no.

[Tay Trolley]

It's time to turn the leaf, man.

[Kevin Ryan]

I have. I'm down to wait. I got the Banana Republic.

[Tay Trolley]

That's why you're inspiring me. Don't have any Tully Nuts. I need you to stay strong for me. I'm falling right behind.

[Kevin Ryan]

I'm already picking a weekend on the road. I'm gonna get back on the heaters. You'll see me when you see me. There's gonna be a weekend where I get on the Eaters for the weekend. Don't tell my wife. Chicken sandwiches. This is a very public. Chicken sandwiches. It's just reserved for Patreon. But I'm trying, but I need a little bit of. I'm not drinking with this goddamn kid because the hangover. So I can care of a baby. Hungover. You know that ain't easy.

[Tay Trolley]

I'm just tired. I'm just bored with. I'm bored with everything I've been doing. I need to do something.

[Kevin Ryan]

We gotta go out and have some pops to get together. We haven't had drinks in a while.

[Tay Trolley]

I don't want.

[Kevin Ryan]

Well, me and Luke will have drinks. You can watch us.

[Tay Trolley]

No pops. Done with the pops. I've drank enough.

[Kevin Ryan]

Yeah, okay. Well.

[Tay Trolley]

Bored with myself. Well, that makes sense.

[Kevin Ryan]

We have a. We might have a very fun recreational project.

[Tay Trolley]

I'm down with that.

[Kevin Ryan]

No, to. Save it. Well, don't. You gotta. You gotta tease it a little bit.

[Tay Trolley]

I'm down with that, man.

[Kevin Ryan]

I am down.

[Tay Trolley]

I like that.

[Kevin Ryan]

If you think I'm not having pop.

[Tay Trolley]

Getting out of the house. Living life. Having fun. Fall. I love it.

[Kevin Ryan]

Season. Big man.

[Tay Trolley]

New season.

[Kevin Ryan]

Big man's good. All right.

[Tay Trolley]

Best fall ever.

[Kevin Ryan]

The worst summer.

[Tay Trolley]

Fucking worst summer. Summer at 25, man. They should have hung me at some point.

[Kevin Ryan]

A lot of rope.

[Tay Trolley]

A lot of steel from the highwaymen. They hung me in the spring of 25.

[Kevin Ryan]

Okay. Martha listens to her favorite band all the time. In the car, gym, even sleeping. So when they finally went on tour, Martha bundled her flight and hotel on Expedia to see them live. She saved so much she got her seat close enough to actually see and hear them. Sort of. You were made to scream from the front row. We were made to quietly save you more Expedia made to travel savings vary and subject to availability. Flight inclusive. Packages are atoll protected. All right. This one's from James.

[Tay Trolley]

It's a good song.

[Kevin Ryan]

$20, homie. Never had one. Red. Are you garbage? If the cheap hotel you're staying at. You see a family at the pool using the emergency life saving floaty as their kids. Floaty for fun. That's jammed up, but I kind of respect it.

[Tay Trolley]

How many times I wanted to use that chair that gets you in and out.

[Kevin Ryan]

Oh, I've used that.

[Tay Trolley]

Have you?

[Kevin Ryan]

Yeah, I like a fucking Courtyard Marriott. Yeah, I play around on that. Really? Yeah. Why not? The only one in the pool, you know we've done it in front of you, I would assume. I've done it on the road.

[Tay Trolley]

Where are those controls?

[Kevin Ryan]

It's on it, I believe.

[Tay Trolley]

Oh really?

[Kevin Ryan]

Yeah, like a little joystick.

[Tay Trolley]

I didn't know that. Huh?

[Kevin Ryan]

It's just like a button up and it's like an up and down arrow.

[Tay Trolley]

I always looked at that. I don't know. I never wanted to touch that.

[Kevin Ryan]

Okay.

[Tay Trolley]

I think it was bad luck or something. But I always wanted to play with it.

[Kevin Ryan]

Yeah, but that is. That's not even that. That's sad. Listen, you're at. You're at a CD motel. Been there. Get that. Not judging that. That happens. Scrape together. You're hanging out with the kids for whatever reason. Maybe a vacation. Maybe you're in town visiting family. Whatever, whatever.

[Tay Trolley]

You got to get the fuck out of town. And you couldn't leave the kids with somebody because they might go to that house and fucking kill them.

[Kevin Ryan]

Who talk about it. Talk about a bad summer. Whatever. Whatever the circumstances of your life are. You're at a motel, you're making it.

[Tay Trolley]

Work, you're on the run.

[Kevin Ryan]

It's just the kids got a. That's not a fun floaty device. That's like hard plastic, you know?

[Tay Trolley]

It's real good though. Keeps you up there. You can hang on that thing.

[Kevin Ryan]

You know what I always wanted? The. The Baywatch can. The red can.

[Tay Trolley]

Oh yeah.

[Kevin Ryan]

Always wanted that.

[Tay Trolley]

I never understood how that saved anybody, what they did with that what do you mean?

[Kevin Ryan]

Had handles on it and it floated?

[Tay Trolley]

Yeah. I don't know, it just seemed weird. Seems it was like you had like a. I don't know. What do you. What do they do with that? When you get out there with the person, what do you do with that?

[Kevin Ryan]

Give it to them and it floats.

[Tay Trolley]

And then you gotta. You gotta drag them in that. In.

[Kevin Ryan]

Yeah. Well, I think it's like, okay, hey, take a minute. Hold on to this. Stop, Pat. Like that'll let them stop panicking.

[Tay Trolley]

Stop bitching up.

[Kevin Ryan]

I also think when they're by themselves, they can use it. They can like ride a wave. It's like, you know, it acts as like a little kickboard or something.

[Tay Trolley]

Really?

[Kevin Ryan]

Yeah, yeah. It also helps them. They're. They don't have to swim. They can hold on to it. Yeah.

[Tay Trolley]

Okay.

[Kevin Ryan]

Getting the chop.

[Tay Trolley]

They always taught us that you grabbed them by the neck and drug him in and swam sideways like that.

[Kevin Ryan]

Uh huh. I think you want to get under their arms, not their neck, whatever.

[Tay Trolley]

Like that? Yeah.

[Kevin Ryan]

Put them in a sleeper, make them pass out. So they're panicking. Take them down, find a mermaid.

[Tay Trolley]

Well, you got to be careful because they could drag you under too. That was always the big thing.

[Kevin Ryan]

You're giving them mouth to mouth here at the hot dog stand. Get off.

[Tay Trolley]

All right, take it easy. You're all right.

[Kevin Ryan]

Hey, guy like you, you ever choke? Huh?

[Tay Trolley]

Quick, get his balls in my mouth.

[Kevin Ryan]

Somebody take my bathing suit off. You're cutting your bathing suit off? Oh, dude. We had. We had to cut the baby out of a onesie the other day. It was covered in.

[Tay Trolley]

Oh, man.

[Kevin Ryan]

Nadine was like, I think we cut it off. I'm like, no way. And then I started. I'm like, we gotta cut this. We gotta cut out of this thing. It was all up his back. And then if you pull that off, it's over his head. You don't know. He's laughing, he's laughing again. He don't know.

[Tay Trolley]

Stinky.

[Kevin Ryan]

Yeah, it's pretty bad.

[Tay Trolley]

Yeah.

[Kevin Ryan]

It ain't great.

[Tay Trolley]

He cover anything? No, no. You just. Because he's your. It's your son. It's your kid.

[Kevin Ryan]

Yeah.

[Tay Trolley]

Huh.

[Kevin Ryan]

So I'm told. I'm happy he looks like me. I don't have to do a paternity test because I was thinking that. Really, I was on the road when this happened.

[Tay Trolley]

Whose white baby is that?

[Kevin Ryan]

She's like, he looks like you. He's Dominican. I'm like, what? He's got a baseball.

[Tay Trolley]

She's saying that before he even comes out.

[Kevin Ryan]

Hey, it really looks like this sonogram. It looks like you got a huge sell it. All right, let's see here. This one's just fun. 10, homie. Never had one. Red is a garbage if you listen to the entire podcast in reverse order. So Foley gets skinnier and says he's getting fatter, Kippy's hairs grow back in, and the boys get much less successful over time.

[Tay Trolley]

Thanks, dog.

[Kevin Ryan]

Shout out to you. That's a good time. I mean, you look back at. I mean, definitely some of the ones we shot before the pandemic. In Champions. No, in At Gotham Podcast Studios. Yeah.

[Tay Trolley]

Okay, those.

[Kevin Ryan]

There was like three or four there. I think it was Ian, Jared Freed, Canon and Fiore maybe and Don Lee. So maybe five there. Those. I mean, we're different people on a molecular level.

[Tay Trolley]

What do you mean?

[Kevin Ryan]

Well, I mean, it's just. It's a long time ago. Many beers, heaters. We were in different places in our lives. We were, you know, I mean, I was doing doordash and at a full time job. You were.

[Tay Trolley]

And working in film.

[Kevin Ryan]

Working in film. You're really pushing that narrative, aren't you? What, are the Oscars coming up or something? Is this you campaigning? But yeah, no, so we've. I'm just saying I was thin. I was like a thin guy. Yeah, not anymore.

[Tay Trolley]

Now you are.

[Kevin Ryan]

I'm getting back. Getting back.

[Tay Trolley]

What do you weigh now? Wait, this isn't the thinnest you've ever been?

[Kevin Ryan]

No, really? I think when I was really thin, I was walking around at probably 185.

[Tay Trolley]

What do you not think? Like 165. What are you weighing?

[Kevin Ryan]

65.

[Tay Trolley]

How much do you weigh now?

[Kevin Ryan]

Light in the loafers. I'm probably 205 right now.

[Tay Trolley]

It's great.

[Kevin Ryan]

That's great. Yeah, mostly muscle.

[Tay Trolley]

What do you weigh, string bean?

[Kevin Ryan]

Covid took me down a bunch. I'm like 150 right now. I think I got it back. I got. I lost a lot of weight during COVID That's like from. That's like your right leg from the knee down one.

[Tay Trolley]

150? Yeah. 150. You're like six feet tall.

[Kevin Ryan]

Did you have you watched that documentary on the Biggest Loser?

[Tay Trolley]

Huh? No.

[Kevin Ryan]

The life and times of Age. Folding.

[Tay Trolley]

I got defensive just by the name. Not a loser.

[Kevin Ryan]

I work in Phil. Yeah, it's an expose on that. On the. That was a huge franchise. I didn't realize it went for like 12 seasons.

[Tay Trolley]

No. Good. What? Bad.

[Kevin Ryan]

Ah, yeah, bad.

[Tay Trolley]

Why bad?

[Kevin Ryan]

Bad. They were giving them like fen phen. And one guy lost like 280 pounds in like 12 weeks.

[Tay Trolley]

That's what I need. I'd be done. 12 weeks.

[Kevin Ryan]

They all put it back on.

[Tay Trolley]

Put it back on? Yeah, man, that's a fun ride.

[Kevin Ryan]

The one guy lost all of his skin like that. Lost it. He. They got him the skin. They skin gray. You know, they toned them up. And then he put it back. Oh, he put more back on. They talk about coming out. You're gonna have to get rehmed.

[Tay Trolley]

Bad Tomato. Damn, dude. 220 pounds.

[Kevin Ryan]

I think it was more than that. Yeah, maybe not 12 weeks, maybe six months.

[Tay Trolley]

I thought they all got the stomach surgery.

[Kevin Ryan]

What do you mean? No, that was all natural. Oh, I mean like that was all.

[Tay Trolley]

Are you talking about the old guy?

[Kevin Ryan]

What old guy?

[Tay Trolley]

Is it the doctor? The old doctor with the accent and the glasses with the two fat broads and the sodies?

[Kevin Ryan]

No, that's that 600 pound sister.

[Tay Trolley]

Okay, that doctor. I thought that doctor was legit.

[Kevin Ryan]

He is, huh? Yeah, he's trying to get them to the stomach staple, right? Yeah. No, this was the Biggest Loser was a reality competition in the early 2000s.

[Tay Trolley]

Oh, it was on like NBC. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Okay. I remember it.

[Kevin Ryan]

And it was like, you know, it was. They had to keep up in the ante. Every season they're like. And that's one of them things that like numbers don't. They put them on the scale and it's like, oh, he's down eight pounds. That's not gonna, that's not gonna sell any tide, you know what I mean? We got to move commercials. So unless they were in double digits, it was like, you're losing. Imagine losing £12 in a week. And people be like, oh, that's pretty good. Crazy, dude. You'd get fatter.

[Tay Trolley]

Put on 18, lost £75 in three days.

[Kevin Ryan]

It's crazy. All sucked out and.

[Tay Trolley]

Ah, it's good stuff.

[Kevin Ryan]

All right. This one's from Aoria Bagels. Hell yeah, brother.

[Tay Trolley]

Oh yeah.

[Kevin Ryan]

Is it garbage to put an ice cube in your mouth and take a swig of soda? I want the ice, but don't want to dilute my product. Huh?

[Tay Trolley]

What?

[Kevin Ryan]

That seems insane.

[Tay Trolley]

Yeah, nobody's doing that well, you have a cup of ice next to you and the soda next to you.

[Kevin Ryan]

I'm supposed to get.

[Tay Trolley]

It's. Listen, I'm gonna get pissed off. I'm gonna fucking lose it. That's the way it's a.

[Kevin Ryan]

You like it? Uh huh. He likes it.

[Tay Trolley]

It's not the way I like it. The product is.

[Kevin Ryan]

It answered me.

[Tay Trolley]

The product is supposed to theoretically be put in ice. Okay, I know you have your canes.

[Kevin Ryan]

Not necessarily, though, because if it's refrigerated, then it doesn't go in ice. If you pull out a screamer from a cooler, you don't put it on ice. So you're wrong. Theoretically. Not theoretically. Factually, you're wrong. That 2 liter should be in the refrigerator. You don't need ice.

[Tay Trolley]

All right, I give up. Give up.

[Kevin Ryan]

I mean, I get what you're saying.

[Tay Trolley]

The 2 liter is a different soda than what's in the cans and the bottles.

[Kevin Ryan]

I don't Disagree.

[Tay Trolley]

Okay. The 2 liter is supposed to be poured over ice.

[Kevin Ryan]

That'll. That'll consist. I'll concede a little bit.

[Tay Trolley]

Okay.

[Kevin Ryan]

But a can of cans. Not can. Supposed to be cold. The smaller receptacles of soda are cold. But we kept two liters in the fridge. We'd still throw some ice in there. It hits different with and without the ice, for sure.

[Tay Trolley]

Okay. Yes, it does. It does. You're not. Okay.

[Kevin Ryan]

Everybody relax.

[Tay Trolley]

Yeah, we're. Chill the fuck out. I wouldn't look at it as. It's diluting it. It's changing it, but it's not diluting it.

[Kevin Ryan]

It's enhancing. Dilutes it if you don't drink it fast enough.

[Tay Trolley]

Yeah, I guess. I don't know. Don't be. Just put it in. Just make a cup of ice and pour the soda in there. Don't be done. It just.

[Kevin Ryan]

You ruined Foley's day. Yeah. Are you happy now, Storia? Bagels. You've ruined the bug man's day.

[Tay Trolley]

It just drives me crazy when I hear people say, like, I don't like getting ice at like, the movies or McDonald's because you get more. Stop with that.

[Kevin Ryan]

But they. I agree with you, but that's. You value the experience with the ice. They value the amount, the total amount. You guys just value different things, and that's okay.

[Tay Trolley]

I'm not a different core values. But as Americans, we can disagree, but we still need to respect.

[Kevin Ryan]

You agree on Coca Cola. You agree on. Coca Cola is a great, fine product. Of course, it's just how you consume your Coca Cola and that's why this country's great.

[Tay Trolley]

And I tell you how to have that. You know what? I take all that Freedom ring. I take all that back and I apologize. Bagels. You do your fucking thing, dog.

[Kevin Ryan]

Wow.

[Tay Trolley]

I'll still be there.

[Kevin Ryan]

Holy shit. What just happened?

[Tay Trolley]

This is I was completely wrong to push my lifestyle on you. You do your thing. You want to have a cup of ice next to you and do an ice and take a sip, you do that.

[Kevin Ryan]

Respect.

[Tay Trolley]

I was wrong.

[Kevin Ryan]

Let's give it a round of applause for the big man here.

[Tay Trolley]

I was.

[Kevin Ryan]

From the peanut gallery out back to.

[Tay Trolley]

The only thing for me to do is let this long absence from the show. I get up and you never see me again.

[Kevin Ryan]

You guys. You grab a beer, you walk out. Later, nerds.

[Tay Trolley]

Once I get my couchboard money.

[Kevin Ryan]

This is all behind me.

[Tay Trolley]

Cuban.

[Kevin Ryan]

I don't need to do this. I'm a furniture tycoon. All right, let's see here. This was from a live show as well, but this is a different person. I believe this is from Chief and heaters and wife. Be Chief and Heaters and wife beaters. $120 annual donation to Uncle Hank's Hobie Habit. Never have one read. Is it garbage to use cigarette butts as earplugs? Growing up, my family had a habit of forgetting earplugs for us kids for loud events or activities. Monster truck rallies, drag racing, tractor pulls, fireworks, gun range. Nothing like my parents fogging a couple down to provide. That's what he calls smoke and fog. And a couple down to provide us a pair of Marlboro 100 or Winston Red filters to block out the decibels. Listen, if they're essentially cotton balls, the filters are cotton balls. So I would say I think it's wild to smoke them and do it that way. If a good parent who also has a heater habit, I would rip the filter off. Then I'd smoke a non filthy. That's just me as a new parent. I'm gonna try that when I get back on a eaters for a weekend run that by the missus. See what she says. But that's all that car. That's all them carcinogens are stuck in there. And then you're shoving that close as close to the brain as you can get. That ain't good.

[Tay Trolley]

They say that these days that all that stuff's leaking. The tin foil leaks into food and the plastics leaking into this and this is leaking into that. So yeah, I mean, I don't want to act surprised, like we haven't heard that before. And you know what I mean, that.

[Kevin Ryan]

It makes in dirtbag logic, you go, I need something. It's there. The parents are trying to provide for you. They're trying to do good. They're entertaining you and also keeping you safe. The best they can, but. But nobody's crazy.

[Tay Trolley]

Nobody's ripping a heater to do that. No, what I'm saying is the parents will be willing to do that for you, but they're not wasting.

[Kevin Ryan]

That's what I'm saying. I would say the parent then smoke a filterless heater. You know, still burning. All right, let's see here. This is wild. This is from TJ. New 10$. Never have one red. Is it garbage if you run out of gas more than once in a day because you're trying to save money for heaters and beer? Later, man. So that dude's going and putting like three or four bucks on and then three or four bucks more on a giant. Listen, I get. I've been there, I've struggled with the best of them. I've been a pump five. I've been five on pump two. Guy. I get that. Give them 10, buy a $6 pack of heaters, put the rest on pump three. I've been that guy.

[Tay Trolley]

Have you ever proper run out of gas.

[Kevin Ryan]

With my brother Once. He was taking me to the gym for evaluation. Did I ever tell you that? Me, that was a sad day. Had to show up late to my evaluation at the gym because my brother ran out of gas in his Chevy Lumina cranking Camel Camels with a K. Oh, I used to. I don't know where he was getting them, but I loved them.

[Tay Trolley]

I think I've only actually run out of gas once and it was in my. It was at my house. Like I was out of gas. It wouldn't start. But I remember I had to get a ride up to the gas station with the red thing to go back and fill it up.

[Kevin Ryan]

I do. I. I'm up. I'm. As a guy who never really had cash and we've talked about this of like putting it in the gas tank. Like, I was never a full tank kind of guy because it's like I don't want to invest 40, 50, whatever full tank of gas is going to cost you when you don't have the funds. You know, if I was really eating, I'd put 20 in and go. That'll be.

[Tay Trolley]

You know, there's always a monetary value.

[Kevin Ryan]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Of course.

[Tay Trolley]

Until very recently.

[Kevin Ryan]

But my wife and now we have like the digital. Like, hey, you have 38 miles to, you know. And that pops on around 35, 40 miles. What. Whatever it is.

[Tay Trolley]

Yeah, it's hard.

[Kevin Ryan]

She's like, that comes on and she's like, we need to go. And I'm like, Like, we got time. And she's like, it's not 40 miles. It goes down quicker. I go, okay, well, it's 20 miles. Even if you cut it in half, it's still. We still got. You cut it by a quarter. I got 10 miles.

[Tay Trolley]

You do fly pretty close to the sun with that. Because I remember one time you and I were in the car, and I think it was. We were in my car, and we were leaving New York, and I had a quarter of a tank.

[Kevin Ryan]

Yeah. A quarter of a tank will get you halfway to Birmingham. What are you talking. That'll.

[Tay Trolley]

Quarter tank. You get stuck in traffic or something.

[Kevin Ryan]

Turn the air off, open the windows, shut it down. I'm a big coast in a neutral guy. I'll find the hills. I'll. That. That is in me.

[Tay Trolley]

Quarter tank, 99 miles of Philly. This guy says, let her ride.

[Kevin Ryan]

Yeah, grip it and rip it, baby. Quarter tank. Most of that's highway miles. 50, 80 miles a gallon on a highway. It'd be cooking, dog. Yeah. I don't know. That's just talking.

[Tay Trolley]

No back road route.

[Kevin Ryan]

That's in me. That's why I pay bills late. I wait till they shut off the cable. Like, I'm very. Like, I'm very. If you give me a time or a date, it's in my genetic makeup to go. I got a. That's for. That's for the general public. That ain't for guys like me, you know? I mean, I. I know how to push it to the limit for savers. Yeah. Get out of here.

[Tay Trolley]

Talking about gunfighters.

[Kevin Ryan]

Guys who will get. You know, who will regulate if they need to. Yeah. I'm about to work. I'm like, let's.

[Tay Trolley]

You know, you want to smoke, huh? Let's see how far we can push it.

[Kevin Ryan]

Yeah, well, I've just run around on.

[Tay Trolley]

The edge of the knife.

[Kevin Ryan]

My dad was the same way, man. I remember coasting into. Coasting into. Yeah. Gas stations with them throwing in a neutral and gun and me being nervous and him having a heater gun. We'll be all right. And I go like, cowboy. We'll be good. I remember my stepdad one time said, we're probably gonna run out of gas, but I got some in the back. And then we ran out of gas, and we didn't even go get gas, which was crazy.

[Tay Trolley]

He just having some in the back is scary. I would never.

[Kevin Ryan]

It wasn't even a. It wasn't even a. It was a. A. It was a big old Suburban, So it was like an Open back. There was just. Now that I'm thinking about it, there was just gas in the car with us that wasn't in a pickup truck that wasn't in a trunk. We pulled into it and he just got out like it was a gas station. Got it, filled it up, and we went to where we were going because.

[Tay Trolley]

Remember when people had the. The big. The big like army looking canteen, huge ones. They put them on the back of jeeps.

[Kevin Ryan]

Yeah. Thank you. Can't have that anymore. I don't blow you up.

[Tay Trolley]

No. Yeah. People were getting rear ended. It was blowing up.

[Kevin Ryan]

Mm. You know what? I realized too, which I might. You might have said. And I kind of pushed back a little bit, but it's now a theory. I'm. I don't know if this was you. The Wranglers are for broads.

[Tay Trolley]

Yeah.

[Kevin Ryan]

I never really did because the only people. I only knew a couple people that had them and they were dudes. So I'm like, that doesn't make sense.

[Tay Trolley]

Douches.

[Kevin Ryan]

Is that. That's. That's a newer thing maybe. I don't. Or is that the same? It's newer.

[Tay Trolley]

Yeah.

[Kevin Ryan]

I mean, they all got the ducks on them.

[Tay Trolley]

Docs.

[Kevin Ryan]

You know about that? They all have docs on their dashboard. Like 5th of Google. It's like a little rubber ducks. Little rubber. I think I've seen that. And it's all chicks.

[Tay Trolley]

Yeah. I mean, I only knew a couple of dudes that rolled around in those in high school. And if you did, I'm, you know, I'm not. I'm judging, but, you know, whatever.

[Kevin Ryan]

It never crossed my radar that there was for. For the ladies.

[Tay Trolley]

It was always kind of douchey dudes with like, you know, the curly bleached hair and surfer.

[Kevin Ryan]

I'll give you that.

[Tay Trolley]

That.

[Kevin Ryan]

That fits that, though, because the top comes off. You're an outdoorsy guy. That kind of. That kind of makes sense to me.

[Tay Trolley]

What kills me with them. And I've always said this is the wave.

[Kevin Ryan]

Yeah. The jeep thing.

[Tay Trolley]

You're waving at each other in the jeeps.

[Kevin Ryan]

Oh, it's like a low. It's like a. You throw the deuce. The rubber ducks are part of a growing trend called ducking, where owners of a Jeep will leave a rubber duck on another Jeep as a random act of kindness, slash your tires.

[Tay Trolley]

That's like when the. When the Beatles came back out and they all had a sunflower in the.

[Kevin Ryan]

They had like a little. That came with a vase, though.

[Tay Trolley]

Those things stink. I remember I always thought that was A whack car. Except for Herbie. Remember Herbie? You know Herbie?

[Kevin Ryan]

Yeah. I got the reboot.

[Tay Trolley]

Yeah. The original one was so sad.

[Kevin Ryan]

I missed.

[Tay Trolley]

I don't know, you got, like, run over or something like that. Oh.

[Kevin Ryan]

Even the reboot was sad. Yeah, put him down or something. Yeah, put a card down.

[Tay Trolley]

Just like that. And they're like, putting them in the crusher because they owe the mob money.

[Kevin Ryan]

We're gonna take you apart one bolt at a time.

[Tay Trolley]

Yeah. That. All those Disney live action movies were sad as Old Yeller was brutal. Fucking blues brains out behind the cabin.

[Kevin Ryan]

Yeah, that stuff. By the time that got to me, that was all just like, you had heard the story of Old Yeller. To the point, like, I don't need to read this. I know this dog gets it.

[Tay Trolley]

Yeah. I mean, it was. That shit was just old enough where we would rewatch that stuff. And to me, it was old. They'd be from, like, the 60s and 70s and they had that old, like, tinge of them. Oh, man. Brutal. Like a Saturday afternoon. You're watching that shit. It's like, ugh. Nasty. But Beetle. I've never got bugs. VW bugs. People that like VW bugs again.

[Kevin Ryan]

The only person I ever knew that had one, had a reissue was this kid's sister.

[Tay Trolley]

Yeah.

[Kevin Ryan]

And she had it. That was the. I mean, I've never known anybody to drive a Volkswagen Bug. That was like a silly car. And it was like, who the hell has time to. Or money to spend on a silly car? You know what I mean? It's like, we gotta get to work, motherfucker. I got a quarter tank of gays. I gotta get to Tennessee.

[Tay Trolley]

They always had that weird down, too.

[Kevin Ryan]

Wow. I don't know. I mean, you've met a lot of my family members. I don't know who you would see driving a Bug. Uncle Dan driving a Bug. Did a job.

[Tay Trolley]

See, maybe Denise in her teenage years, you know, protesting the war, whatever.

[Kevin Ryan]

Trashing someone for doing edibles the other day. Trashing someone? She is anti weed, that broad. And my uncle, who, you know, dabble, you know, he's got, you know, he's got a fun pass. The same.

[Tay Trolley]

He's over there taking edibles.

[Kevin Ryan]

That's what you get for taking the thc. He's yelling at my hand or something. Like, you're yelling at somebody. I go, easy does it. You got a wine named after you.

[Tay Trolley]

Two bottles of Cabin in you.

[Kevin Ryan]

A little bit of Pinot Grigio. I don't know. A bottle of Josh.

[Tay Trolley]

She like a bottle.

[Kevin Ryan]

I don't know that.

[Tay Trolley]

Like, Josh, that's probably the top dollar.

[Kevin Ryan]

That's. Yeah, that's. I don't know anything about wine. I just know I bought a bottle of it because I had heard it it and I brought it. She goes, oh, it was like 18. I don't know what it was. A bottle I don't know anything about. I didn't know that was an expensive bottle of wine. And I get, oh, who. Oh, someone's doing well. You know what I mean? I'm like, hey, actually, we're taking. I've invited you here. Sharks. Have you heard about my couch board? You come out. It's all glued together. All right, we gotta wrap it up, gang.

[Tay Trolley]

Grab some tickets to the live show. Come out and see the boys. End of this month, we're at La La Land. We're in San Fran, we're in Seattle, we're in Portland. Come see us and the rest of the tour. October, November, December. Big, big show in Philly on December 13th. We want everybody there. We want to sell that out. The Metropolitan Theater. We love you, and we'll see you next week. Peace.