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H. Foley
Hey everybody out there. Back on the block tour still on sale.
Kevin Ryan
Gotcha bozos.
H. Foley
Gang, we're coming everywhere. Grab the squad and come out and see the boys talking about stand up comedy. Then we play a little ayg with the crowd. It's a good time.
Kevin Ryan
Oh baby. This summer we're going to be Atlantic City. Then second show added in San Francisco, Portland, Oregon, Seattle, Brea, California, Burlington, Vermont, Boston. Tickets low Tickets low. Ticket alert. Atlanta, Georgia, Charlotte, North Carolina, Raleigh, North Carolina, Richmond, Virginia, Baltimore, Maryland, Philadelphia, Pennsylvania, Rochester, New York and Toronto, Canada. All tick tickets available at. Are you garbage.com let's get to the show.
H. Foley
Start the show. Welcome to another exciting edition of Are you garbage? The show where you find out if your favorite comedians are classy individuals or absolute trash. Now here are your hosts, Kevin Ryan and H. Foley. Hey everybody out there and welcome back to everybody's favorite podcast. This is Ru Garbage. Oh yeah, it's that little show we sit down with your favorite comedians and we find that I figured to be classy. Yeah, they're just a big old piece of trash. I'm your host states Foley coming at you on a beautiful day. We're out back here with toys in a new edition. She just picked up a brand new auto cycle. Okay, one of those free wheel johns.
Kevin Ryan
Wait, what?
H. Foley
You know what I'm talking about. Those three wheel cars that they zip around.
Kevin Ryan
The T. Rex thing.
Steph Tolov
Yeah.
Kevin Ryan
What you call it Auto.
H. Foley
That's what it's called. It's called an auto cycle. She's out there bumping dmx letting everybody know. Okay, Mike Hos is coming at you from right next to me. Confused this week.
Kevin Ryan
There you go.
H. Foley
He is the CEO of Are you garbage? He is somewhat of an international businessman and my best pal in the whole wide world. Give it up for KJ Kevin James Ryan, everybody.
Kevin Ryan
Hey everybody, shout out to you. Thanks for tuning in. As always, a little bit of housekeeping. Please make sure you rate view subscribe on itunes. Full video available on YouTube. Also full video available over there on Spotify Gang. Part of that creator program. No big deal. Then obviously the greatest website of all time. Www.patreon.com Are you garbage? You go over there, get all that bonus content. Gang.
H. Foley
Yes, right. And gang, we couldn't be more excited to have our incredibly, and I mean incredibly special guest here with us today for the first time, very requested guest here on the podcast. She is a very funny, very successful standup comedian, actor and podcaster. And you might have seen her in, but not limited to you got corporate you got the ringers. You got the movie show. You got Old Dad's Drugstore, June Hamster and Gretel. You got Krapopolis, little voiceover work. Nothing wrong with it. Friends who kill after midnight. Dr. Phil Live, the AVN Awards hosted.
Kevin Ryan
Hello.
H. Foley
She's going to be in the new season of Tires. You can hear every week on her amazing podcast, Steph Infection. And she's got a brand new Special coming out June 24th over there on Netflix. Filth Queen. Give it up for Steph Tollev, everybody. Let her hear it. Look at her.
Steph Tolov
My God, did you.
H. Foley
Killing it.
Steph Tolov
Hansel and Graham. I don't even know what that is.
H. Foley
Yeah, you do. What are you talking about?
Steph Tolov
I actually have no idea. My eyes, like, fell out of my head when he said that. I'm like, what the fuck is he reading?
H. Foley
It's on the imbd. I don't know what to tell you.
Steph Tolov
Shit, I gotta double check. What? That.
H. Foley
I remember in the very beginning when we were doing this, I did that for Brendan Sagolo and he's like, I don't. None of those credits are mine. I like, read the wrong thing or something.
Kevin Ryan
I read Regis Philbin's IMDb page.
H. Foley
I apologize, buddy. Thanks for coming in.
Steph Tolov
I gotta tell you, I. This is the one podcast that people kept being like, why are you on it? And I'd be like, fucking tell them every single time. Like, so many people take me in this. I guess they think I'm trash, apparently.
Kevin Ryan
Yeah, I mean, I think a lot of this is just, you know, for clinical research at this point.
Steph Tolov
Yeah.
Kevin Ryan
I think we know the verdict.
Steph Tolov
I think we all know the.
H. Foley
I think you might surprise us. We'll see.
Steph Tolov
We'll see.
Kevin Ryan
She's got the middle of her nose pierced right now. I thought she had a bug going for the first time.
Steph Tolov
Oh, yeah.
Kevin Ryan
I was like, jesus Christ. I was going to have Luke just make the camera a little.
Steph Tolov
Oh, my God.
H. Foley
Oh, there's a good ayg question. If someone even like, someone you're not that close with. All right, say like you and I bumped into each other at a show and I had a bug. Would you be like, yo, you got a good chances.
Kevin Ryan
He's got a bug. You bump into him. You bump into him.
H. Foley
Would you give somebody the heads up?
Steph Tolov
I. I do one of these. I do that a lot. I do like a snot.
Kevin Ryan
Hopefully you can subconsciously make them do it.
H. Foley
What if my breath was kicking? Would just tell me.
Steph Tolov
No breath. I will say something. Thank you. The amount of Comedians. Male comedians. Sorry. Unbelievable. I always tell people that no one's flossing.
H. Foley
I floss every day. My breath, Your breath can smell sometimes.
Kevin Ryan
Coolest guy in the world. I floss every day.
H. Foley
Sometimes at a show, if you have to lean in, like, hey, you're going up and whatever. Hey, when's the light? Or something like that. And it kicks. You got to be like, yo, you.
Steph Tolov
Need to say something. Do you ever go up after someone and the mic is like rancid, brutal? So if you have no idea how bad, like this actually smells good. No, we.
Kevin Ryan
We take care of it. We clean them. Me and him. Me and him have our own mics. Even on the road when we do roads, like very much.
Steph Tolov
Well, I got a big honker too, so I'm smelling.
Kevin Ryan
You're in there.
Steph Tolov
I got an extra scent. I'm a mile away. It is hell.
Kevin Ryan
It's tough.
H. Foley
Give us the. Give us the origin story of Steph Tolav. Start from the beginning.
Steph Tolov
Start from the beginning, please. Grandparents arranged marriage from Bulgaria.
H. Foley
Stop. Okay.
Kevin Ryan
That's where I was.
Steph Tolov
Your grandparents were coming in hot. My dad's mother and father arranged marriage in Bulgaria.
H. Foley
Bulgaria.
Steph Tolov
So my Deado came across to Canada. Had no idea what the fuck was going on. Gets here, can't speak English, gives the wrong last name. My last name is supposed to be T O L E F F. But my Deado cannot speak English. He goes, mumbles it. Guy goes, tolev. This is a made up name.
Kevin Ryan
Wow.
Steph Tolov
Three months later, my Baba, 17 years old, gets a photo of my Deado. Not a good looking guy. Neither was she. I don't be rude, but my grandparents, hideous people.
Kevin Ryan
So I don't think anybody's grandparents were attractive. They were very like utilitarian back in the day. They were like in the mines and nobody was good looking.
H. Foley
Every once in a while you come across one like, ah, he looks like a crooner or something like that.
Steph Tolov
Yeah, for the most part. Maybe. I think the Eastern Europeans, hideous people. Very large.
H. Foley
I look like they need some.
Steph Tolov
Some vitamin C. They needed a little more than that. So by baba gets his photo, comes and meets my grandpa, has three children with him.
Kevin Ryan
Wow.
Steph Tolov
Not good.
H. Foley
Was it like a proper arranged marriage?
Steph Tolov
Yes. I think goats were traded. I'm not sure the exact trades.
H. Foley
What's Bulgaria? That's not an arranged marriage culture, is it?
Steph Tolov
I think it is.
H. Foley
Is that Eastern European?
Steph Tolov
They were both so ugly.
Kevin Ryan
They did it on a bet.
H. Foley
Brought it back.
Kevin Ryan
Hey, here's 50 bucks. Marry my daughter, will you?
Steph Tolov
Not even 100 bucks.
H. Foley
All right, so your grandparents settle in Canada?
Steph Tolov
Yes. Yes. So they doesn't work out. Three kids. My baba divorces him, which doesn't work out because he's psychopath. Really jealous. Used to hide in the bushes and beat up the mailman because he thought he was trying to. And I was like, I kind of.
Kevin Ryan
Respect that, though, you know, it's my property.
Steph Tolov
Again, she ain't a looker, so, buddy, don't you worry about that. The mailman is what the mailman look like. Yeah, exactly.
H. Foley
Must have been hideous.
Steph Tolov
Hideous.
H. Foley
Okay, so your grandparents get divorced. This is your dad's side of the family.
Steph Tolov
My mom's side's already been here for a while. They're, like, full Canadians.
H. Foley
Okay.
Kevin Ryan
Where in Canada is this?
Steph Tolov
Toronto.
Kevin Ryan
That's all. Toronto.
Steph Tolov
Toronto. My dad meets my mom in high school. Big dick hanging out of those running shorts. My dad was, like, the head of the track team.
Kevin Ryan
Has he got a hog on him?
Steph Tolov
Oh, he's got a hog.
Kevin Ryan
How do you know your dad has a hog?
Steph Tolov
I can show you.
Kevin Ryan
Yeah, let's see.
H. Foley
You have a picture of your dad's wiener.
Kevin Ryan
These Canadians are weird. These Bulgarians party.
Steph Tolov
No, it's not his bare penis, but here.
Kevin Ryan
But you see a bulge.
Steph Tolov
I see bulge.
Kevin Ryan
But my dad had a big sack. Or he has a big sack, I would presume.
Steph Tolov
Well, yeah, he still does. Maybe get smaller. I will say I did see my dad's penis by accident. He had. He had prostate cancer by accident. I was like, let me look at that. Peaky. Peaky. No, he had prostate cancer. And we're about to go walk the dog. I went home to help him, and he goes, oh, fuck. And when someone says that, you look over to the. What's happening? He was putting a catheter back in his pee hole, and I had to look at it. Biggest dick I've seen in my entire life.
Kevin Ryan
Really?
Steph Tolov
Unbelievable. I. I was like, my poor mother. I'm talking like, like, soft, huge.
H. Foley
The catheter was a garden hose.
Steph Tolov
Catheter was a fire hose. He was just turning. He was, like, cranking it in.
Kevin Ryan
He's got a wrench going.
Steph Tolov
I gotta find this fucking photo. Okay, so my dad. We've been taking, like, photos on, like, family trips for years. And I was like, can you send, like, a cute photo?
Kevin Ryan
At what age did you realize this?
Steph Tolov
Did you. I didn't suspect it. He hid it for years, like. And he pretty much raised me. My sister. I'll get into that. But, like, I. I had no idea.
Kevin Ryan
Wait, are your parents not Together anymore.
Steph Tolov
They are together. They shouldn't be, but they are together.
Kevin Ryan
You don't walk away from a hog like that.
Steph Tolov
My mother, those are hard to come by. She ain't walking straight, I'll tell you that. I can't find this fucking photo.
H. Foley
It's okay.
Steph Tolov
We'll take your word for it. I know I haven't seen you later. He just like bricked up in these sweatpants he has.
H. Foley
Anyways, so they meet in high school.
Steph Tolov
They meet in high school.
H. Foley
Okay.
Steph Tolov
Swinging his dick around. Mom's loving it. He's got a Corvette. Really? Reals already. Wow. I know. My dad was cool. Big dick.
H. Foley
How was the ide of the Corvette? Did his dad make cash?
Steph Tolov
No, no, no, no, no.
Kevin Ryan
He walked into the dealership, showed him the bulge. They said zero down, zero percent financing.
Steph Tolov
That's exactly sign and drive. His dick drove it out of the parking lot. It was even him. So they. That's. They. They get married, whatever. They have me. My. Both my parents drop out of high school.
Kevin Ryan
What age do they are?
Steph Tolov
They meet in high school, so I.
Kevin Ryan
Think they have kids. Young.
Steph Tolov
Yeah. My mom had me at 23.
Kevin Ryan
Okay.
H. Foley
But they dropped out of high school.
Steph Tolov
They both dropped out of high school. My dad went into there, was like offering this program called. It's like Toronto Hydro. It's like power and water in Canada. And they offered all these like young kids. If you like drop out of high school now come, we'll show you how to show you all this electricity shit.
H. Foley
Okay.
Steph Tolov
So he went and did that good pension. He's still doing well, pension wise, I guess. And my mom. This is where it gets weird. My mom dropped out to be a highland dancing teacher. What's Highland exactly? Yeah.
Kevin Ryan
Scottish, Irish.
Steph Tolov
Yes. Scottish river dance. Highland dancing? Yes. Like river dance. But it's all turned out. It's kilts and bagpipes. It's like a huge.
Kevin Ryan
Is she Scottish?
Steph Tolov
No. Makes no sense. My grandma was weirdly obsessed with it. Bizarre. Google. If you don't know what Highland dancing is, Google it. Look it up right now. So I competitively highland danced from the age of 3 to 18 years old to 18. If anyone's ever seen my body. Not a dancer's body. We ain't sitting over here.
Kevin Ryan
Toronto Hydro.
Steph Tolov
I got no. I did nine and a half walkers. Broad back, same tits as my dad. It makes no sense why I was highland dance till 18.
Kevin Ryan
Did you enjoy it?
Steph Tolov
No, I was so bad.
H. Foley
And she dropped out of school for this, so.
Steph Tolov
And she's still doing it. My mom teaches Highland Dancing teaches, judges and examines. So me and my sister, our whole life. That was our whole life. Every weekend we had a competition. Every single weeknight, we had practice. I had no fucking life. I had no life. I had no friends.
Kevin Ryan
That's crazy.
Steph Tolov
It was.
H. Foley
Both of them drop out of high school. They're still doing the same thing that they dropped out of high school for. That's pretty good.
Steph Tolov
And doing well.
Kevin Ryan
I got to give them that.
Steph Tolov
They're doing. They're still doing. I mean, they're still working.
H. Foley
Is there brother and sisters involved?
Steph Tolov
Just my sister.
H. Foley
Same mom and dad?
Steph Tolov
Yeah, same mom and dad. Three years younger than me. She's my best friend. She funnier than me. So fucking annoying. You ever have a sibling that's funnier than you?
Kevin Ryan
No.
Steph Tolov
It sucks.
Kevin Ryan
My siblings are idiots.
H. Foley
My brother's pretty funny.
Steph Tolov
I brought. He is not.
Kevin Ryan
That guy's got ice water running through his veins.
Steph Tolov
I brought in her just for last one year, and she came back over with a stack.
Kevin Ryan
She got new faces?
Steph Tolov
No, she did. I swear to God. She had a bunch of agents, and I got. No one talked to me the whole fucking time. I was so pissed.
H. Foley
It's Dave, Becky, guys.
Kevin Ryan
I told him we're gonna do lunch tomorrow. Huh? What were vacations like growing up?
Steph Tolov
Where's dancing? Just dancing. Everything revolves around dancing. Every fucking weekend we drive to, like, Michigan or never.
H. Foley
Guess so. It was like. It was like that.
Steph Tolov
I'd go to Scotland every year. That was my one big trip. We did every year we go to the World Championships.
Kevin Ryan
Were you in the World Championship?
Steph Tolov
Oh, I was dog shit. All my mom's students were. My mom has one of the best dancing students on the planet. She's in the Guinness Book of Records for winning the most consecutive. And I'm shit. Like, I was. It was so embarrassing. Picture your mother having, like, crazy.
H. Foley
You're bragging about that?
Steph Tolov
Yeah. Yeah. That's my big break.
H. Foley
Number one draft pick, island dancing.
Steph Tolov
Anyways, that was. That was so. That was it. My whole life was dancing.
H. Foley
So she has a school.
Steph Tolov
Yeah, she's her own dancing school.
H. Foley
Okay.
Steph Tolov
And my dad was there to help out of the competitions. He would announce. He'd be like, all right. Coming up next, the beginners lineups.
Kevin Ryan
Number one in my heart. Number 99 on the call sheet. Number one in my heart.
H. Foley
Wow. Yeah. Okay.
Steph Tolov
And that was it. That was.
H. Foley
I get a vibe in life that would be like, if in America. If, like, your mom was, like, a cheerleading coach.
Steph Tolov
Yes. Like, gymnastics and the dance moms are fucking demented.
H. Foley
Yes.
Steph Tolov
They would sit like, I had this one, these one. They would definitely beat their kids. They had, like, bruises on the inside of their thighs. And every day they'd call my mom and quit, and then they'd show up the next day. It was bizarre.
H. Foley
Was there was this, like, kind of like wrestling, like, where you had to, like, keep a certain weight and all that kind of stuff.
Steph Tolov
Well, I was probably the biggest one out there. I was like, you and how they're dancing. This is what I look like. Everybody was, like, small, and I'm like, that was exactly it. No, there was smaller. You were definitely winning. But if you were like.
H. Foley
But it wasn't like, it wasn't a part of it. Like, your diet wasn't regimental, but you're all.
Steph Tolov
No one's fat. Dancing. Because you're jumping. It's crazy the amount of jumping you do.
H. Foley
No other vacations. You're not going to Disney World. You're not going to Florida.
Steph Tolov
Wants for a dancing shrimp.
Kevin Ryan
Geez. Brutal.
Steph Tolov
And pretty sure every night of your life. Practicing when you're not good. Like, every night, I would take my sister right from school, and we'd walk up to the dance, and my mom taught at this church. My mom would teach in a church? Yeah.
H. Foley
In the basement.
Steph Tolov
No, upstairs.
Kevin Ryan
Were you guys religious at all?
Steph Tolov
What? Yeah. Both my grandparents were my parents.
Kevin Ryan
Aren't your parents?
H. Foley
Wait, not downstairs in, like, the gymnasium, in the church or whatever.
Steph Tolov
No, it was like, upstairs. My mom. Ryan said, like, upstairs, church room. We had to move all the fucking pews. It was a nightmare.
H. Foley
Jesus Christ. You're doing it in there.
Steph Tolov
But I was. I was.
Kevin Ryan
I was sacrilegious.
Steph Tolov
No, it was hell. I know.
H. Foley
Jumping off the altar. Wow. Okay.
Steph Tolov
I was baptized. I was baptized Greek Orthodox.
H. Foley
Okay.
Steph Tolov
They got. They dunk your naked body in a tub, and then everyone jerks off.
Kevin Ryan
At what age you're not Greek?
Steph Tolov
14. I'm kidding.
Kevin Ryan
There's a hot tub at Club Med.
H. Foley
You're not Greek.
Steph Tolov
I'm part Greek. My grandmother was Greek and she's born in Greece.
H. Foley
Your grandma?
Steph Tolov
Yeah.
H. Foley
Your grandmother on your mom's side?
Steph Tolov
No, my dad's side.
H. Foley
Your dad's side.
Steph Tolov
We're Park.
Kevin Ryan
I feel like I work for Interpol.
H. Foley
Yeah. This doesn't make any. Disarranged marriage is not adding up.
Steph Tolov
She was, like, park Greek, half Bulgarian.
Kevin Ryan
But she was, like, international arms smuggler.
Steph Tolov
Okay, there's that. Okay.
H. Foley
Great grandparents got her at half price because she's half Greek.
Kevin Ryan
I didn't get it. Fair enough.
Steph Tolov
I laughed because I panicked.
Kevin Ryan
You'll get used to it. Halfway through the shake. I think you missed there, big guy. Who it might have even. I'm asking because it might have been in the dancing world. Who was like. Like the most famous person you met as a kid? Was it like, holy shit, there's the world. It didn't have to be like a superstar, but like somebody. Even local celebrity.
Steph Tolov
Kurt Browning. He was a. He's a famous Canadian ice skater. We saw him at the airport.
Kevin Ryan
Browning.
Steph Tolov
And that was a big deal for our family. Kurt Browning. He was like. He was like killing it. Receding bad, receding hairline, but like still young. Check him out. Oh yeah, people love Kurt Browning. Look at him. There he goes, whipping around.
Kevin Ryan
I feel like I just saw him on the news like three days ago.
H. Foley
There's another guy that. That's an American ice skater that looks just like.
Steph Tolov
I was like, if you tell me Kurt Browning is a bad man, I'm going to get very.
Kevin Ryan
No, no, no, no. In a good way.
Steph Tolov
Okay. Because I was like, please. We've worshiped this man.
H. Foley
I know who you're thinking of. I can't think of the guy.
Kevin Ryan
No, I think it was five. Five days ago. Oh. Rock Stars on ice. Kurt Browning and Elvis Dejaco. Share preview of I told you.
Steph Tolov
Wow.
Kevin Ryan
I've been watching a lot of Good Morning America.
Steph Tolov
This guy loves Kurt Browning.
Kevin Ryan
I've been getting.
H. Foley
That's pretty good. Especially in the airport. I respect that. I like that.
Steph Tolov
That was. That was the big one. I. Other than that Olympics thing.
H. Foley
Was he in the Olympics?
Steph Tolov
Yeah, he might have.
Kevin Ryan
He's a rock star on ice. He's no fucking schlub.
Steph Tolov
We didn't watch a lot of anything growing up. We did.
Kevin Ryan
You have cable?
Steph Tolov
Yeah, but we were dancing. I'd have to go to bed at like 8pm we eat like a pile of spaghetti and go to bed at fucking house.
Kevin Ryan
Like, was it like a standalone single family home? Was a townhouse apartment?
Steph Tolov
Yeah. No, single family home. Like three bedrooms. My. They redid it. My uncle was an architect. He like made some weird going on in there.
Kevin Ryan
And what was the family car growing up?
Steph Tolov
Oh, we had a Dodge Caravan for a while. What color was that Caravan green with that gray trim on the bottom.
H. Foley
Would your mom pick up other kids?
Steph Tolov
Oh yeah.
H. Foley
And drive them or like the other students and other dance. Wow.
Steph Tolov
Young, attractive. I was. I think this is why my. I'm so self conscious of my body now when I look around. Like I was this big nosed unibrow mustache pig and all These, like, little dancers, like, hopping around. And I was like, why is no one looking at me?
H. Foley
I get the vibe. I get the vibe of what you're. What.
Steph Tolov
What I'm putting out. Yeah. Yeah.
Kevin Ryan
Hell, definitely it feels that way now.
H. Foley
No, I just meant of like when, like, the. Her mom would go and pick up the other students and stuff. Like. Like she was a part of. She was a dance mom.
Steph Tolov
She was. And teachers. Everyone was scared of her.
H. Foley
Yeah. And you were the kid. Wow.
Steph Tolov
Yeah. Dog shit.
H. Foley
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Kevin Ryan
How do you do that?
H. Foley
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H. Foley
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Kevin Ryan
Take it from the bug man.
H. Foley
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Kevin Ryan
Listen, they were fantastic. They sent us some. My wife was all.
H. Foley
Loves it.
Kevin Ryan
This is the one that you bring home to the wife. The wife goes for the kids, for the dog. And it's something easy you can do. It's very easy to do. It was one of those.
H. Foley
I got to be honest, like an hour and a half to do the whole house.
Kevin Ryan
Not minutes, 10 minutes. I got it. It was a thing I put off and put all this. Get it. And then you go. That's one of the things you can do and say it takes a little longer. Keep them off your back a little bit.
H. Foley
Crack up on a Miller Highlight.
Kevin Ryan
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H. Foley
There you go.
Kevin Ryan
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H. Foley
There you go.
Kevin Ryan
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H. Foley
How are the grades?
Steph Tolov
Okay. Okay, great. I was. Yeah. In high school, I got arrested for. For assault.
Kevin Ryan
Beating up a judge.
Steph Tolov
I had a jealousy problem with my first boyfriend, Marlon. Shout out.
Kevin Ryan
What?
Steph Tolov
I know. He watches my stuff.
Kevin Ryan
What age we talking about?
Steph Tolov
Grade 10 or 11. So how old am I? 15, 16? Yes. So I. He. This girl kept checking him out, and it was annoying me, and I got mad.
Kevin Ryan
So at school.
Steph Tolov
At school. And I got pissed. So I made a comment to her in the math hallway during our lunch, and then she.
Kevin Ryan
What was that comment?
Steph Tolov
I said, you know, keep your fucking eyes yourself, bitch. Something along those lines.
Kevin Ryan
Respect it.
Steph Tolov
And then her friend.
Kevin Ryan
Instructions.
Steph Tolov
Her friend shoved me, who I've never seen in my entire life. And I was like, who the fuck is this bitch? So I shoved her back. But then my friend. I can't say her name because she gets pissed off. When I tell a story, but she comes in and just throws this girl to the ground and just pounds her in the math hallway. Like, pounds. And I was like, oh, shit. So we run out, a teacher comes off, pulls us apart. Also, my friend, did you get involved in the punching? No, I just. I did the initial shot. I started. I did the initial shove.
Kevin Ryan
Gotcha.
Steph Tolov
So we. We leave that. That get kicked out of the school. We're outside at a pizza shop, and I'm like, are we gonna be in shit? And my friend's like, we're probably gonna.
Kevin Ryan
Get like, I love how you get in a fistful. You're like, go grab a slice.
Steph Tolov
No, we had a full slice. I went back.
H. Foley
We were here all day. What are you talking about?
Kevin Ryan
Hey, Mario, if anyone asks, I've been here since opening.
Steph Tolov
I went back to fifth period, and I remember I asked my teacher, Mr. Black, I go, are there cameras in the school? And he goes, why?
H. Foley
That's a day, you know, what are you doing?
Kevin Ryan
Start doing that. You don't go in. Hey, what's the security system like here?
Steph Tolov
There was camera. So I was like, I won't get in trouble because they'll see that I didn't do the first push. So I was like, oh, I'm in. I'm in scott free here. Then we come to school the next day, the both of us. Nothing happens all day long. End of the day, this, like, teacher student guy comes up. He goes, you're in a lot of trouble. There's a girl in the hospital.
H. Foley
I'm like, what girl in the hospital?
Steph Tolov
And then we go take down to the office. And I'm sitting there, and this, like, out of clothing police officer starts going through my backpack. She's like, you have the right to remain silent. I'm like, who the fuck are you, bitch? You have the right to remain. And I'm like, I look over, My friend is literally leafing through a People magazine. I'm bawling my eyes out. We get. We were also. We wore school uniforms so long. So I'm wearing a little kilt, a little school kilt. And I'm getting handcuffed in the school office.
H. Foley
This Catholic school.
Steph Tolov
No, we just had a bad gang problem.
Kevin Ryan
Scottish dancing school.
H. Foley
Wait, hold on. You had a bad gang problem at your school?
Steph Tolov
Yeah, East York Collegiate in Toronto. There's a lot of gangs were coming.
Kevin Ryan
In, say, East York Collegiate?
Steph Tolov
Yeah. Ey, look at me, psycho. I'm up.
Kevin Ryan
You have your school tattooed on you. East York crash.
H. Foley
What was the gang.
Steph Tolov
See that's why I'm on the buck.
H. Foley
What was the gang?
Steph Tolov
There was a European. I think they call European alliance ea. They were insane.
Kevin Ryan
Government.
Steph Tolov
They bring chains. It was just people trying to find my grandparents.
H. Foley
You got the Russian mob in your high school.
Kevin Ryan
What do you got on Reddit? Just calling it a juvenile prison.
H. Foley
Really?
Steph Tolov
Are you serious?
Kevin Ryan
Check out the Wikipedia. Let's find out. Let's find out if you're in the notable.
Steph Tolov
I am. Oh, I and a couple of hockey players are as well.
Kevin Ryan
Get eyes on that.
Steph Tolov
Oh, yeah, I'm on.
Kevin Ryan
What kind of. What kind of competition?
H. Foley
Probably the most wanted section.
Steph Tolov
I kept being taken off it. Somebody kept taking me off of NOVA alumni. My friend kept putting me back on.
H. Foley
Try me. The chick you knocked out?
Steph Tolov
Yeah, she.
H. Foley
So you got a proper arrested?
Steph Tolov
Arrested. Fingerprinted, handcuffed. They lock me and my friend in two separate, like, cells. Not like, really like this all white room with a white little table.
H. Foley
Must have been freaking out.
Steph Tolov
My dad's gonna beat the paw plumber.
H. Foley
Sure.
Steph Tolov
Because, you know Bulgarians like to stop around a little bit.
H. Foley
Sure.
Steph Tolov
So I'm like, I'm gonna be killed.
Kevin Ryan
Old world type.
Steph Tolov
Oh, big time. My friend's singing in the room. Mariah Carey, Top for lungs. I'm like, this is.
Kevin Ryan
What's she doing now? She seems like a bit of a psycho.
Steph Tolov
No, she married, actually, another comedian friend of mine. I. They have two kids. Two beautiful kids. I know they're doing great. She really came around.
Kevin Ryan
Okay.
Steph Tolov
I, on the other hand. Anyways, yeah, we got. But in Canada, you. We went to court, like, I think 13. We got expelled initially, but my parents both went to this high school, and my grandparents, so they're like, you're getting back into school. Keeping the name alive. So my dad went and, like, begged the teachers to, like, let me back in, the principal, and they did. And then I came back, and then I was in the student government.
H. Foley
Can I ask you a sidebar question.
Steph Tolov
On the honor roll? So suck my dick. East York Collegiate. What?
H. Foley
For junior and senior year.
Kevin Ryan
Makes sense. Notable alumni. Yes.
Steph Tolov
Okay.
H. Foley
I want to ask a sidebar question. In the Canadian courts, do they wear the wigs?
Steph Tolov
I was thinking the same thing.
H. Foley
They don't.
Steph Tolov
No.
H. Foley
I was curious.
Steph Tolov
But also when, if you've ever been arrested at that age, you just get thrown in a room with, like, everybody else who's had, like, a charge, and you just. You're sitting there, some drunk guy at the back, and he's, like, yelling, and they're like. They just call your name up and you walk up and they're like, okay, we'll make another court day. They just keep pushing it back. It's such a waste of time and money.
H. Foley
Assault charge.
Kevin Ryan
What was the. What was the mascot there at East York?
Steph Tolov
Well, it was me and it was the bulldog. And I kept. I kept honking.
Kevin Ryan
They got her on a leash at the. At the football games.
H. Foley
The other team's trying to steal her.
Steph Tolov
Oh, I would go into the. The classrooms and everyone thought it was a guy, and I would grab all the guys asses and they got so pissed off. Jesus, it stunk in there. You want to talk about a smell? Holy Toledo. That thing's never washed.
H. Foley
The tattoo's wild. Give your high school tattooed on your face.
Kevin Ryan
Did you do that in high school?
Steph Tolov
I did that. I did that one year ago.
Kevin Ryan
One year ago.
H. Foley
What, did you go to college?
Steph Tolov
Oh, wait, I also. Hold on. No, no, I can show you this. I also got handcuffs tattooed on me. My friend and I, we got a little handcuffed.
Kevin Ryan
That friend that got arrested?
Steph Tolov
Yeah.
Kevin Ryan
It's not like you guys served a nickel.
H. Foley
I know you have a teardrop on your eye.
Steph Tolov
No, I'm. My tit.
H. Foley
Little high.
Steph Tolov
She's getting hers removed because her mom saw it. And her mom hates me because she thinks I'm a bad influence. And like, she literally. Her mom saw the tattoo recently and she's now getting her.
Kevin Ryan
Really?
Steph Tolov
What age did you get that last year? Same time we got the ui.
Kevin Ryan
What the.
Steph Tolov
We both got the ey. I am trash. And we're realizing now, huh?
Kevin Ryan
No, I kind of knew. Wow.
H. Foley
Did you. Let's go back. Did you bring your lunch to school or did your mom. Or did you buy it at school?
Steph Tolov
No, I'd buy it. Or we used to go to the. This place called Harvey's and just ask for free pickles.
Kevin Ryan
You were allowed to leave?
Steph Tolov
Yes, school. Yeah, or I'd go home. I live really close to my 8, 7, 8, 6 7, 8 school. I live down the street, so I just go home sometimes and eat a whole can of ravioli and then head back.
H. Foley
Oh.
Steph Tolov
Oh, yeah, not good. I ate a lot of ravioli growing up.
H. Foley
Was Chef Boyardee.
Steph Tolov
Oh, of course. What are you crazy? I found a maggot in one time and I remember I just pushed it aside and I continued to eat.
Kevin Ryan
It almost made me throw up.
H. Foley
What the. Seriously, what's going on with the quality control up in Canada?
Steph Tolov
No, my mom never, like, didn't really cook us shit. Like, she'd, like, she wasn't no, like frozen chicken and put in the oven. And then I had to do that once. My mom would teach and I would have to come home from high school. And if my dad walked in the door and the chicken wasn't ready, there'd be a full fight.
H. Foley
So you had to have dinner ready when your dad came home.
Steph Tolov
And then as soon as I was in like, like a good girl and instead. But in like halfway through high school, I went full punk and I had like a dog collar and I was like, I don't listen to the man. And then my dad and I really didn't get along after that.
H. Foley
Sure.
Steph Tolov
But I look.
H. Foley
How are you doing that? And dancing with the full punk outfit?
Steph Tolov
Oh, it was crazy. I got. I got braids one time I got those like. Like they're not good anymore. Like the braids like that you get.
H. Foley
When you go down to Jamaica for.
Steph Tolov
No, like a full. Like I had full, like woven in braids. Like what black women get dressed pretty much. But braids. And then I had to dance with that. I looked ridiculous. Ridiculous. Yikes. I don't have those photos because I did scrub those off the Internet because.
H. Foley
Did you go to college?
Steph Tolov
Well, yeah. Here's where it gets even worse. I went to clown college. There's a two year program, actually Humber College called the Comedy Writing and Performance.
Kevin Ryan
Humber.
Steph Tolov
Humber College. Look it up.
Kevin Ryan
It's on the Notable alumna. You know what?
Steph Tolov
I am. And it's so fucking funny because they fucking hated me. I lived in a house with eight guys.
Kevin Ryan
Wow. You seem like a delight to be around.
Steph Tolov
I actually am a nice guy. No, I live with eight guys and we'd just be stoned all the time. And they hated us because we didn't write anything on. And there's only eight women. The whole program. Anyways, the end. At the end of the year, they cut me out of all the sketch shows and I had to do stand up. That's why I started doing. I initially wanted to do like sketch. Just sketch comedy.
H. Foley
Why did you. So that's what you were studying. You weren't studying kind of being clown?
Steph Tolov
No, there was a clown class, though. It actually was a very good class. But I.
H. Foley
Did you take a clown name?
Steph Tolov
No. We would wear the nose and it was so stupid. We didn't. I didn't get it. I tried to be an actress. I auditioned for like four.
H. Foley
So this was like performing arts. Performing arts school.
Steph Tolov
Yes. But. Yeah, yeah, but this program is kind of a joke.
Kevin Ryan
Yeah.
H. Foley
Gotcha.
Steph Tolov
Yeah. Like no one I don't tell people. Tell people. I have a degree in comedy. It's embarrassing.
H. Foley
Did you go. Did you finish the two years there?
Steph Tolov
I did finish the two years.
H. Foley
Okay. And then you started doing stand up?
Steph Tolov
Well, I started improv right after that.
H. Foley
Okay.
Steph Tolov
I was in an improv troupe called the Dumb Cunts with a K. We thought it was cute. No one put us on the flyers.
Kevin Ryan
Yeah. Very marketable.
H. Foley
Disney.
Steph Tolov
And then we changed it to Lady Stash. And then during that time, I would just do, like, I actually have a mustache tattoo. And that was my first tattoo we would start doing. I started doing stand up in there because I realized improv pays no money and the guys are creepier in improv. I will tell you, when women complained about male stand ups, I'm like, you've never seen the lower back touching a male improviser will do for no reason in a scene?
H. Foley
Sure.
Steph Tolov
It's part of my character. Just fingering your ass. Yes. And you have to go along with this.
H. Foley
What about pets growing up? Any pets?
Steph Tolov
Yes. Golden retrievers. Big golden retriever.
H. Foley
All right.
Kevin Ryan
The most normal thing I've heard so far.
Steph Tolov
I have a golden retriever now as well.
H. Foley
Love it.
Kevin Ryan
What's the name?
Steph Tolov
Susan.
Kevin Ryan
Good.
H. Foley
Very nice.
Steph Tolov
Ready for something even crazier?
Kevin Ryan
I have it tattooed on my asshole.
Steph Tolov
I do have a tattoo.
Kevin Ryan
Oh, you do? I respect that tattoo. For everything you think you have.
Steph Tolov
I have about 17.
H. Foley
17.
Steph Tolov
Yeah. And they're all. They're so stupid. They're all worse than the other one.
H. Foley
Huh.
Kevin Ryan
What was the first concert you went to growing up?
Steph Tolov
Oh, it was called Snow Jam.
H. Foley
Ouch.
Kevin Ryan
So that's so Canadian.
Steph Tolov
It was called Snow Jam and I think Treble Charger, I believe, was headlining. And I body surfed. It was like rock. I body surfed and guy grabbed my ass and my tit and I freaked out. Snow Jam, Toronto. Yeah, there it is.
H. Foley
This would be like a local radio station.
Kevin Ryan
That's gonna be probably.
Steph Tolov
No, that's it. That's the one. That's it.
Kevin Ryan
Let's see.
H. Foley
Let's 2002.
Steph Tolov
It should be Treble Charger. Who else?
Kevin Ryan
I think Drop Kick Murphy's.
Steph Tolov
Oh, fuck.
H. Foley
That's not bad.
Steph Tolov
I didn't see them. Dinkle Jones. I'm gonna see Dinko Jones.
Kevin Ryan
So you probably went on Saturday.
Steph Tolov
Yes. Swole members. Yes. That's where I was there.
Kevin Ryan
Swollen member show Core. I've never heard of any Filter.
Steph Tolov
Yes, yes.
H. Foley
Filter. Like the band like Filter. That's pretty good.
Steph Tolov
It's not bad. Yeah, that's.
H. Foley
That's it was the last concert you went to.
Steph Tolov
What the fuck did I see? I think it was Snow Jam. Oh, I don't remember. I haven't been one in a while. I think Death from above, though, it's my favorite band.
H. Foley
Okay.
Steph Tolov
Toronto.
H. Foley
So you're into the more alternative scene? Yes, musically, yes.
Steph Tolov
But I listen to a lot of, like, edm.
Kevin Ryan
Okay, edm.
Steph Tolov
Like Odessa Flume.
H. Foley
Okay.
Steph Tolov
Actually flew one of my last concert I saw at Red Rocks. That was. That was very good.
Kevin Ryan
I know Flume, man.
Steph Tolov
I also. I love MDMA's.
H. Foley
Not expecting all this, I'll tell you that. Might run out of ink on the pen.
Steph Tolov
Oh, my God.
H. Foley
What was the first job growing up?
Steph Tolov
Oh, I babysat when I was really young. My parents forced me this kid in the street. But then I worked at a wading pool, which is like a kiddie pool.
Kevin Ryan
Okay.
Steph Tolov
So it's like the ones that you fill up just a little bit.
Kevin Ryan
You worked there?
Steph Tolov
I worked there. There's like, you have a little. A guard. And I worked in this very bad area. It was right at Maine and Dan Fort.
Kevin Ryan
Was it like. I'm sorry, was it.
H. Foley
Was there another pool? Connected?
Steph Tolov
No, it's like a playground. And there's like that small like. Like cement pool with a little thing in the middle. I know those things. That's it. That's all the pool was.
H. Foley
And they have a lifeguard for that.
Steph Tolov
You can drown in three feet of water.
H. Foley
I'm aware.
Kevin Ryan
Yeah.
H. Foley
I don't think I've ever seen something.
Kevin Ryan
Were you a strong swimmer?
Steph Tolov
I was. But you didn't have to swim for that. You just had to learn, like, cpr. But this area I worked in, it was fucked as it was like all government housing. So these. The parents would assume that we were babysitters, so they would drop off their children. Horrendous.
Kevin Ryan
Yeah.
Steph Tolov
All day long they'd hit me, they'd fucking chase me, they'd lock me in the pit. They'd throw the keys down the well. They were bad. The one time there's a dead pigeon and it had no head and they shoved a stick in it and then chased me around at the end of it all day.
H. Foley
How old were you?
Steph Tolov
I was 16.
Kevin Ryan
That's good, clean fun.
Steph Tolov
Hey. It's good, clean Canadian fun.
Kevin Ryan
Yeah.
H. Foley
All right. What was your first car?
Steph Tolov
Ford Escape. My parents gave me their old Ford Escape that I drove across the country from Toronto to la, and then I got there and then transition died and I had to buy a brand new car.
Kevin Ryan
So I didn't what's the current car?
Steph Tolov
Subaru. 2013. Subaru Outback. Look at this.
Kevin Ryan
2013.
Steph Tolov
Oh, yeah, she's.
Kevin Ryan
What year is it? It's 2025.
Steph Tolov
Do you. Have you been in Los Angeles?
Kevin Ryan
Yeah.
Steph Tolov
I'm never gonna get a nice car in the city. Everyone's driving like an ape. I'm not buying a night. Everyone's. There's so many scratches that are not from me on it. I'm not doing it.
Kevin Ryan
I know, I wasn't. I was just doing so mad fucking.
H. Foley
Right.
Kevin Ryan
Hooked. Her friend comes in and spears me.
H. Foley
So after. After the performing arts school, you do an improv and then you kind of get out and head to LA early?
Steph Tolov
No. Oh, God, no. No, no. I was in Canada for like 15 years. I came out to LA 10 years ago.
H. Foley
Okay.
Steph Tolov
Because to become a successful comedian in America, you have to have a green card. In order to get a green card, you have to get a bunch of fucking credits. You have to fill out six out of the 10, like whatever it is, things like commercials.
H. Foley
Gotcha.
Steph Tolov
Like trophies, like.
H. Foley
So you did all that?
Steph Tolov
I did a lot of it.
H. Foley
You did that route up in Toronto and then moved to la?
Steph Tolov
Yes, and then. But the process of coming here still held my. My. You have to do an STD test.
Kevin Ryan
And for std.
Steph Tolov
Yep. You have test syphilis. And mine came back like something was wrong with it.
Kevin Ryan
You just say positive. No, it wasn't.
Steph Tolov
It wasn't positive. It was inconclusive.
Kevin Ryan
It wasn't negative.
Steph Tolov
Hey, I've had hpv. I haven't had syphilis. I'll be honest about it. So I had to like, go back in. So they had to hold back my fucking green card for another like three, four months. I kept having these going away parties in Toronto. Like, fuck you, Canada. I'm.
Kevin Ryan
Never mind. I got crabs.
Steph Tolov
They're buying my pussies. I can't go to America yet.
Kevin Ryan
So I had to keep like, they do STD checks.
Steph Tolov
They do. And not. Not even aids, which I found alarming. Just std. Is that crazy? I thought. I assumed aids. I can come here filled to the brim with hiv, no one cares. No, just the tippity top of aids and nobody in America cares. But if I have a little burning in my pee, pee hole, not allowed across the border. So I went to LA 10 years ago. So I did like improv and stuff. I waitressed for my whole time I was in Toronto. Okay, yes. Lot of waitressing jobs. Slaughter.
H. Foley
Were there any family recipes that your mom did? Make.
Steph Tolov
No, nothing.
H. Foley
Nothing.
Steph Tolov
Frozen chicken in the oven.
H. Foley
What were the holidays like? What was. Did you do Christmas?
Steph Tolov
Oh, yeah, we did Christmas. That was a nightmare.
H. Foley
Colored lights on the tree. White lights on the tree.
Steph Tolov
White lights. My mom doesn't like color. Irritates her.
H. Foley
Okay, that's good.
Steph Tolov
Very good. My parents are very.
H. Foley
You do the house. Decorate the outside of the house a little bit.
Steph Tolov
Yeah. My dad. We're very young, was very cute. Would do little reindeer marks and slayers.
H. Foley
That's all right.
Steph Tolov
Raging psychopath, not so bad. Nice things like that.
Kevin Ryan
Have you ever washed shoes in a washing machine?
Steph Tolov
Yeah, I do. All the time. Really? At home. Not with anything else.
Kevin Ryan
Yeah, but you wash them.
Steph Tolov
Yeah.
Kevin Ryan
Huh.
Steph Tolov
Take the laces off. What are you talking about? Hey, put them outside the dryer.
Kevin Ryan
She responded so confidently that I'm backpedaling. I've never had any people go, yeah, well, that is weird. She's like, yeah, you fucking pussy.
Steph Tolov
I always do my all Stars.
Kevin Ryan
That's not great.
Steph Tolov
It's not.
Kevin Ryan
No.
H. Foley
In the washing machine. Not the dishwasher.
Kevin Ryan
Yeah.
Steph Tolov
Washing machine by themselves.
H. Foley
That's not that crazy. Those type of sneakers.
Kevin Ryan
I'm also saying it's not that great.
Steph Tolov
A white all star, High top criminal.
H. Foley
Goddamn benefit of the doubt.
Kevin Ryan
I'm not on fucking trial here. Nor is the system, by the way. That has been. That has been, you know, tried and true for 500 episodes.
H. Foley
Were you allowed to. To eat in your room as a kid?
Steph Tolov
No.
H. Foley
Did you have to make your bed?
Steph Tolov
Yes.
H. Foley
You did.
Steph Tolov
I got. I was. I. I got in trouble a lot. I used to slam my door a lot. And my dad got very mad. And one time my sister slammed my door. And then my dad came up and took it off the hinges and took it into the basement. And then every time somebody called, I go, hi. My dad's a pervert and likes to watch me change. So the door was put back on within a couple days.
H. Foley
Okay.
Kevin Ryan
What. What kind of posters did you have on the wall?
Steph Tolov
Okay, now we're getting into it. I was nothing good obsessed with Blink 182.
Kevin Ryan
Okay.
Steph Tolov
In a way that's not normal. My every. There wasn't a piece of wall in my bedroom.
Kevin Ryan
Were you a Mark Tom or Travis guy?
Steph Tolov
Oh, Tom. My God. I used to look at this photo, my high school room. I. This little wiggly pen that was like. It's like it vibrates. It's like. It's like a vibrator for kids. And I would.
Kevin Ryan
It's a pen?
Steph Tolov
Yeah.
Kevin Ryan
Like a hand. Like a writing Pen.
Steph Tolov
So when you write it, it goes and it would like do like little swirls. But I one time put it on the old clitty clitty bang bang. And I'll tell you what was the.
H. Foley
Door on the hinges.
Steph Tolov
It was probably at the kitchen. Hey, dad, make your own chicken.
H. Foley
Gonna put that door on now, don't you? The lights are blinking.
Steph Tolov
Yes, Obsessed. Fucking obsessed.
Kevin Ryan
How many times have you seen them live?
Steph Tolov
I've seen live only three times.
H. Foley
Okay, that's a real psycho. I like it.
Steph Tolov
But Death from Above, the band I love the most, I've seen about 20 times now.
Kevin Ryan
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Steph Tolov
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Steph Tolov
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H. Foley
Did you go to prom?
Steph Tolov
Yes. This is where I get sad. So I was supposed to dress up like Jim Carrey and from. From Suits Dumb and Dumber. We rented this.
H. Foley
Who?
Steph Tolov
My good friend Justin, who I was, like, best friends with in high school.
H. Foley
How come you didn't go with, like, a significant other? What about the boyfriend that you beat.
Steph Tolov
The girl up this fucking nose? You think high school accepted this? I was fucking Toucan Sam from grade 9 to fucking 12.
H. Foley
But you said you were d. Beating the guy that you beat up.
Steph Tolov
Three months and he jizzed in his pants. I thought he peed. I don't know.
Kevin Ryan
Hey, there's nothing wrong with that. That's still my go to move. Ask my wife.
H. Foley
He had Yanis on your side up until then?
Steph Tolov
No. Okay. So he. I was supposed to dress up and we rented the outfits. We rented the. The tuxes, the orange and the blue.
Kevin Ryan
Whose idea was this?
Steph Tolov
Mine, of course.
Kevin Ryan
And you're like, hey, what's his name? Justin.
Steph Tolov
Justin.
Kevin Ryan
Hey, Justin. Was Justin.
Steph Tolov
He was into it.
Kevin Ryan
Was he romantically involved with anybody or. Why did he not go with the.
Steph Tolov
Well, here's the thing.
H. Foley
And is anybody else.
Steph Tolov
He did. He bailed on me like, like, literally less than 24 hours before he went with somebody else. He got a suit and, like, with a gal.
H. Foley
Yes.
Steph Tolov
So I had nothing. So I had to borrow this, like, weird. She's got both suits, pink dress for my friend, and I wore pink all star high tops because I was a psychopath.
H. Foley
Who'd you go with?
Steph Tolov
Just my friends. For the reason all my friends, we all went with nobody.
H. Foley
Okay.
Steph Tolov
But then here's the thing. So I thought I was gonna win prom queen.
H. Foley
Why would you think that?
Steph Tolov
Because I was popular, okay? I was. I was funny. I was in all the plays. I was like. I was on the announcement crew. I was in the student government.
Kevin Ryan
I gotta say, those people typically in my.
H. Foley
The.
Kevin Ryan
The people on the announcement crew. You announced. You did the announcement crew. Student government. And we're in the theater department.
Steph Tolov
I was also MVP of the lacrosse team.
Kevin Ryan
Okay.
Steph Tolov
And I was in cross country.
H. Foley
So you did do other sports.
Steph Tolov
Okay. Very sporty. I was there, Yes. I was.
H. Foley
I was 40 Spikes, captain of the lacrosse team.
Steph Tolov
MVP.
H. Foley
MVP.
Steph Tolov
Mr. Zach, who I had a huge crush on, okay, gave me the award. So I think. I think I'm gonna win. It's called Missy Stork. Miss East York, this girl, Virginia Shoeless Whore. I'll never forget it. She was such a fucking loser. You know? You were Virginia. She was such a fucking loser. No one liked her. She was like a goody goody two shoes. She counted the ballots. She wins.
Kevin Ryan
You think it was an inside job?
Steph Tolov
She gets booed. Everyone is booing her. Nobody. She comes over off the podium, hands me the crown, and goes, I think this should have been yours. No fucking kidding, bitch who's got East York tattooed on their finger. I was so pissed off.
Kevin Ryan
So you're the people's champ.
Steph Tolov
I'm the people's champ.
H. Foley
Did you go up there and make a speech or anything?
Steph Tolov
I didn't. I didn't. But, like, even my. Even Mr. Zaf came over.
H. Foley
She got off.
Steph Tolov
You were gonna win that.
H. Foley
She got off and handed you the crown.
Steph Tolov
Because she got booed that badly, nobody would have voted for her. Everybody hated her.
H. Foley
Man, this high school sounds awful.
Kevin Ryan
I don't know what's going on. Sounds like something out of Saved by the Bell.
Steph Tolov
Also, look how crazy. Also, okay, I can even get even worse here. I was bullied so badly. So bad.
H. Foley
Is everybody on meds in this high school?
Steph Tolov
They might be. I was bullied so bad in grade nine that they took my yearbook and they wrote big notes. There's a bunch of Greek guys. There's like 10 Greek guys that fucking hated me because I was like, they're dirt bags.
Kevin Ryan
Anyway. Greek guys.
Steph Tolov
Well, funniest thing, I. One of these. One of the guys who's friends with the bullies comes to one of my comedy shows recently, sits in the front row. I go, let me call my high school bully.
H. Foley
Oh, why do I feel like I.
Kevin Ryan
Think I saw this?
Steph Tolov
It didn't go viral because the guy's name was said and his brother fucking threatened to sue me. So I had to fucking take the clip down and take his name. I didn't even say his name. The bully who I called goes, oh, is this so and so whose phone I was calling from not saying the name? So we get sued again. And then the clip was going so fucking viral. It was at like 30k and like, 20 minutes. I was like, oh, this is a clip. And then I had to take it down. I was so pissed. I'm like, I would have gone back to court in Canada. They would have been like, oh, this bitch again.
Kevin Ryan
Should make that a clip.
Steph Tolov
My dog collar back on. Remember me. Remember me from high school.
Kevin Ryan
All right, so they took your yearbook.
Steph Tolov
They wrote.
Kevin Ryan
They wrote. Or a detective trying to trying to get to the bottom of the case.
Steph Tolov
They wrote, ugly, big nose everywhere. And I had this crush on this guy Kevin, and they scratched out his face saying, he'll never like you. You're so ugly. And then one of my best friends in high school cut out typical prom queen stuff and put it in mine. It was very sweet. Anyways, these guys are losers. Most of them apologize to me.
Kevin Ryan
He.
Steph Tolov
I'm so. That. That phone call I made him. I mean, I forced him to apologize. He probably didn't really want to, but. But this is why I'm like this now. Because I was heavily also bullied by men. Is so bizarre for a woman.
H. Foley
Usually it's like.
Steph Tolov
Isn't it crazy?
H. Foley
It's crazy.
Steph Tolov
Usually, like, girls bully girls. Guys bully guys.
Kevin Ryan
Yeah. I never. Yeah.
Steph Tolov
I don't know why. I don't know what my nose does to men, but they hate it. I have a clip right now going viral on Facebook because 500 men are like, is that a prosthetic? How does she even get it that big? You think I want this? You think I walk around going like I'm trying to make it look like this? It's so crazy, huh? Adrian Brody, let's see your DMs. Are they. You big nose. Updating DeVito Penguin. Let's see his. Adrian Brody.
H. Foley
I'm so specific Brody into it.
Steph Tolov
His is bigger than mine. Damn it.
Kevin Ryan
Huh?
Steph Tolov
Steph, do they get stunned like this?
H. Foley
Good Lord.
Kevin Ryan
Yeah. Last one was Jordan Jensen. So you're in good company.
Steph Tolov
Okay. Okay. Now I'm feeling. Yeah. Her. She's worse than me, isn't she?
Kevin Ryan
So have you ever ridden a mechanical bull? No. I mean. All right, so high school was bumpy.
Steph Tolov
High school was bumpy.
Kevin Ryan
I was touching.
Steph Tolov
High school was bumpy. Then college.
Kevin Ryan
College, you know, and then you're. Now you're. You know. Now you're a successful comedian.
H. Foley
Let's just say, to put a button on it, somewhat of a tumultuous. Tumultuous upbringing.
Steph Tolov
Yes.
H. Foley
Can we leave it there? Tumultuous.
Kevin Ryan
I think your hair's getting more coiffed as the episode. What the fuck?
H. Foley
In a good way or bad way?
Steph Tolov
No good.
Kevin Ryan
It's giving some height, Henry. To hair.
H. Foley
It's coming, but it's growing back in. All right, so let's just say that.
Steph Tolov
Yes.
H. Foley
Let's talk about now a little bit.
Steph Tolov
Okay.
H. Foley
Which is unfortunate that we know about the Subaru. Where you living out now? In la. You got an apartment? You got a house?
Steph Tolov
I have. I have an apartment. Renting I'm renting. It's an eighteen hundred dollar rent, two bedroom laundry in unit, parking spot, front yard for my dog.
H. Foley
Nice joint.
Steph Tolov
It's not a great neighborhood.
Kevin Ryan
Phoenix, Arizona. Where the.
Steph Tolov
In finance. He keeps saying, I live in the hell. It's in East Hollywood.
Kevin Ryan
That's a bad neighborhood.
H. Foley
If he says he has to stay with you all the time.
Steph Tolov
No, but he did my podcast. He's like, what the is it? There's chickens everywhere. I'm like, yeah, there's chickens up the street. Let them live.
H. Foley
It's okay.
Kevin Ryan
Okay, so you live in a. I've.
Steph Tolov
Been there for 10 years. I found this place. I'm never leaving. It's so insane.
Kevin Ryan
Okay.
Steph Tolov
Cheap. It's so clean.
Kevin Ryan
That's great.
Steph Tolov
Yes.
Kevin Ryan
Okay.
H. Foley
All right. So you got a nice place?
Steph Tolov
Got a nice place.
Kevin Ryan
You live by yourself?
Steph Tolov
No, I have a lovely boyfriend.
Kevin Ryan
Lovely boyfriend.
Steph Tolov
Pissed off really badly today. Was so mad at me, but I love him so much.
Kevin Ryan
Sorry, big guy.
Steph Tolov
He's very upset now.
H. Foley
This was your place before?
Steph Tolov
Yes.
H. Foley
He moved in with you?
Steph Tolov
Yes.
H. Foley
Okay. And now why did that.
Kevin Ryan
Where was he living?
Steph Tolov
So he was living in New York. So this is. This is a crazy story. All right, so he. Make it quick. He.
Kevin Ryan
He moved from New York to East la.
Steph Tolov
Well, he's an actor.
Kevin Ryan
Okay.
Steph Tolov
Actor, comedian, musician. So I'm at the Laugh Factory one night. Bomb. Everyone's bombing the tits off. It's Wednesday night, no one there. Why 14 people. Hell, I'm pissed off. Shooter McGavin walks in.
H. Foley
Shooter McGavin from Happy Gilmore?
Kevin Ryan
You're dating Shooter McGavin?
Steph Tolov
Can you imagine? And that's the end of Chris. Chris McDonald walks in with. With my boyfriend who looks exactly like him. And I go, oh, it's his son. Why the fuck are they here on a Wednesday night hammered? And I'm like, fuck.
Kevin Ryan
Shooter gets after it.
H. Foley
Oh, shoot, they're hammered.
Steph Tolov
Oh, they're blackout. So I go up, I'm like, I'm trying so hard. I'm like, I'm obsessed with Happy Gilmore. It's my favorite movie. I'm like, I have to. I'm embarrassed now. I get bombed for shooting Gavin. I asked this question. Who takes dick pics? And nobody answers me. But I think Shooter son. He goes, I do. I put a little tiny Etch A Sketch on the tip of my dick. And I'm like, what? So I'm like kind of laughing. It's such a bizarre thing for someone to say. I get off stage, I'm like, fuck it. I'm saying, Hi to Shooter. I never fangirl over anybody. I go over, I'm like, hello. Hi. A huge fan. And then I'm like, oh, is this your son? And he's like, I'm his nephew. And I'm like, oh, okay. Gives me a big hug. And I'm like, starstruck. He's like, so, you gonna come drink with us? And I was like, what? No, I'm going home to bed. And I left in, like, a panic because no man ever hits on me after show. I'm like, my fucking pussy's dragging on the ground. Every guy's like, look disgusted. So by the time I get home, Jefferson, Shooter McGavin's nephew, who is now my boyfriend, DM me being like, hey, can I get your phone number? And we've talked every day since. And let me show you him. He looks exactly like shooter McGavin. It's fucking crazy. I'm dating shooter McGavins. Look at him. Look at this guy. Those look like him. I'm. I'm obsessed with this man.
Kevin Ryan
What the is even going on?
H. Foley
Who's out getting hammered with their uncle?
Steph Tolov
Oh, he. Are you seeing this? This looks exactly like shooting McGavin. It's crazy.
Kevin Ryan
That's weird. And it's weird how excited you are about.
Steph Tolov
I love it also, you're like, happy.
Kevin Ryan
Gilmore is my favorite movie. So it's like the third lead.
H. Foley
So he's living in New York.
Kevin Ryan
That's with the third lead's nephew. He's.
Steph Tolov
I think Shooter's hot.
Kevin Ryan
I don't know. I'm not.
H. Foley
Of course.
Steph Tolov
Yes.
H. Foley
So he's living in New York and then decides, hey, I want to move la. You say, hey, just move in with me.
Steph Tolov
Yeah, exactly. And he does.
H. Foley
Now, you guys splitting the rent?
Steph Tolov
Yeah.
H. Foley
Okay. All right. Because we have a thing about that. If couples move in together, is it. She moved into his place. Did he move into her?
Kevin Ryan
Did he bring any or did they.
H. Foley
Get a place together?
Steph Tolov
No, no furniture. We split the rent, but I pay all the bills.
Kevin Ryan
Why?
Steph Tolov
Well, because he's. He's on the road so much, I think I'm there more. He's like. He does cruise ships and stuff, and he tours a lot, so I'm like. Sometimes he's not in there for like a month, so I'm like, an Internet.
Kevin Ryan
How long have you guys been. How long has he been living there?
Steph Tolov
A year and a half. We met almost a year and a half ago. Exactly. April of last.
H. Foley
How quick did you guys move in together?
Steph Tolov
Quick. We. We. You Know why we started, like, just talking. Well, I'm disgusting. Well, I'm a fucking horny pervert. Also, I've never dated a Hawkeye. I might get the. In my house, you're not going anywhere. Tying you to the radio. Like, I'm like, he's. I've only dated Blob.
H. Foley
She sounds cool to me.
Steph Tolov
I'm a great girlfriend. And now he comes with me on the road. Pavi features.
Kevin Ryan
That's fine.
Steph Tolov
He hosts.
H. Foley
All right, there you go.
Steph Tolov
Yeah, there we go.
H. Foley
There you go. When you guys.
Kevin Ryan
Some sort of normalcy is involved. Finally, we're getting to something. Although you are dating Shooter McGavin's nephew, which is like. It's absurd at the. You know, at that.
Steph Tolov
It's not that normal, but okay.
H. Foley
When you guys are home together, you guys will have dinner together at the house.
Steph Tolov
Yes. I'll come cook.
H. Foley
You cook?
Steph Tolov
I'm not bad.
H. Foley
You cook a lot?
Steph Tolov
I cook a lot when I'm home.
H. Foley
Yeah, you do.
Kevin Ryan
It's a go to meal.
Steph Tolov
Well, we're always on a diet, so I'll cook like zoodles in a, like meat sauce.
H. Foley
Zucchini noodles.
Steph Tolov
Yeah.
H. Foley
Okay. You make them yourself? Yeah, with the. The thing.
Kevin Ryan
Spiralizer. You have the one that you got that. Do you put in and crank or do you have like this small one?
Steph Tolov
No, the small one that you just turn the top on.
H. Foley
Yeah. Okay. When you guys eat, are you sitting at the table and eating? Are you sitting at the couch, sitting.
Steph Tolov
At the table, talking? Well, if we get like takeout, we'll sit at the couch and watch take like Netflix something.
Kevin Ryan
Well, you plate the takeout or do you eat it out of the carton?
Steph Tolov
I'll plate it.
Kevin Ryan
You'll play?
Steph Tolov
Yeah.
H. Foley
So you'll bring the bag in, go.
Steph Tolov
To the kitchen on what we get. But if we get like. Yes, I'm sharing stuff. I'm plating. I like a knife and fork.
H. Foley
Okay.
Kevin Ryan
What's in the fridge currently right now?
Steph Tolov
Absolutely nothing.
Kevin Ryan
Nothing.
H. Foley
Maybe because you're on the road.
Steph Tolov
And butter and some pickles. Yeah, a lot of pickles.
H. Foley
What's going. You mentioned pickles before. What's up?
Steph Tolov
I don't know. I love pickles.
H. Foley
You do?
Steph Tolov
I've been eating them non stops as a kid.
H. Foley
How do you feel about bread and butter pickles?
Steph Tolov
I like them all.
H. Foley
Oh, really?
Steph Tolov
Not as. Not as good. Like a crisp kosher.
H. Foley
Okay.
Steph Tolov
Dill gentleman, thick.
H. Foley
Give me that.
Steph Tolov
Pickles. That's going down.
H. Foley
That's some point in your direction.
Kevin Ryan
How do you feel about the rotisserie chicken.
Steph Tolov
Oh, I'm slapping that back.
Kevin Ryan
Okay.
Steph Tolov
Yeah. Love a Costco rotiss 9.99. You kidding me?
H. Foley
Let's. Let's step into the bedroom for a second. What's the bed? Is it king? Is it a queen?
Steph Tolov
It's a queen and we need a king.
H. Foley
Okay, it's a queen.
Kevin Ryan
You admit that you need a king.
Steph Tolov
Green, like, back thing? Like a fuzzy back thing.
H. Foley
Okay.
Steph Tolov
Yeah.
H. Foley
Is it in the middle of the room?
Steph Tolov
Middle of the room.
H. Foley
Okay.
Kevin Ryan
Very nice.
H. Foley
Is there. And is there nightstands on either side?
Steph Tolov
On his side. I have, like, a bench on my side.
Kevin Ryan
That's okay.
H. Foley
Bench? What do you mean?
Steph Tolov
Good. The room is a work bench. Yeah, it's like. It's a nice wooden, like, long bench thing.
H. Foley
Does it go the length of the bed?
Steph Tolov
Like, half.
H. Foley
So how do you get out?
Steph Tolov
I can get out.
H. Foley
There's just a little.
Steph Tolov
Yeah, no, no, I get the size, though. It's not that big.
H. Foley
What's on the bench?
Steph Tolov
Couple candles. It's running along the wall under a big bookshelf. Every single book. The books are all his.
H. Foley
Do you read at all?
Steph Tolov
Absolutely not. Look at me. Do I look like I read? I don't think I can.
H. Foley
I don't know.
Kevin Ryan
I don't fucking know.
H. Foley
Is there a ceiling fan in there?
Steph Tolov
Yes, there is. On all the time.
H. Foley
On all the time.
Steph Tolov
We're both very warm.
H. Foley
Okay.
Steph Tolov
Hot people.
Kevin Ryan
Window units or central air?
Steph Tolov
This is where it's a problem. I don't. I'm on the main floor, so I can't have a window unit. So I'm scared someone's gonna make sense, come in there and do the first floor apartment. Yeah. And it's not a great area, so I don't. I keep the windows locked at all times. So I have one unit. I move around.
Kevin Ryan
I.
Steph Tolov
We. I've been looking for another one.
H. Foley
Well, hold on, wait. Like an indoor air conditioner.
Steph Tolov
The big one that you put in the window. Like you put the window down just a little bit. But I don't like to keep that on all the time.
Kevin Ryan
So you take it out at night or so.
Steph Tolov
No, at night, when I'm there. It's on when I'm there.
Kevin Ryan
So when you leave, you take it.
Steph Tolov
Out if I'm gone for a weekend or something. But I have a dog sitter there, so it's there. Yeah, but I don't trust keeping my windows open ever. This area, they were shooting across the street literally yesterday.
Kevin Ryan
The chickens.
H. Foley
Wait, so if you take.
Kevin Ryan
If you leave for the weekend, you take Your air conditioner. And there's not gonna be a dog sitter.
Steph Tolov
Yes.
Kevin Ryan
You take your air conditioner out, put it on the floor, close the window.
Steph Tolov
No, no, it's not. It's just a small thing. It's just like the tube. Ah. She has an indoor.
H. Foley
You know what she's talking. It looks like a robot.
Steph Tolov
Yes. Yes, it does.
H. Foley
So do you have to bring that from room to room as you move around in the house?
Steph Tolov
Psychotic. Yes, I do. It's demented.
Kevin Ryan
That's what they do. That's like what people who cook meth do.
Steph Tolov
It is. Oh, it is fairy methy. Because we don't have essential air because it's an old place.
Kevin Ryan
Oh, I get it.
H. Foley
Yeah. Yeah.
Steph Tolov
We're also. We're not home that much in the summer. Once summer comes, we, like, leave. We go back to my parents cottage, his family's.
H. Foley
Your parents have a cottage?
Steph Tolov
Yes.
H. Foley
Where?
Steph Tolov
Like two and a half hours northeast of Toronto.
H. Foley
Is it on a lake or something?
Steph Tolov
Yeah, right on a lake.
H. Foley
So your parents have a nice lake house?
Steph Tolov
Yes, very nice.
H. Foley
Okay.
Kevin Ryan
Very nice.
Steph Tolov
Yes, cottage. Very nice. They went crazy on this. I think they're still paying for it. Yeah, there's a lot. Marble counters, all wood interior, antler chandelier.
H. Foley
Does your dad hunt and fish and all that stuff?
Steph Tolov
He fishes.
H. Foley
He fishes. Okay. All right. That's not bad. Yellow summer place.
Kevin Ryan
Do you own any weapons? A knife, a brass knuckle?
Steph Tolov
No, just a little bat. My dad gave me a bat and like, a trailer hitch that he said I should swing if someone comes.
Kevin Ryan
A trailer, yeah. Yeah. You do have weapons.
Steph Tolov
I haven't trailer. I have a trailer under my bed right now. Yeah.
H. Foley
Whoa. That's pretty medieval. You have a Mace, basically. That's a mace.
Kevin Ryan
It's a first.
Steph Tolov
I do have mace still.
H. Foley
You have mace? You carry. You carry Mace in your purse, I would assume?
Steph Tolov
Sometimes, yeah. When I remember it.
H. Foley
Gotcha.
Kevin Ryan
Will you order? Have you ever ordered soda with no ice? No.
Steph Tolov
What the fuck am I, a mentally ill person?
Kevin Ryan
From what I'm picking up, yeah.
Steph Tolov
Jesus Christ.
H. Foley
Do you chew your ice?
Steph Tolov
No.
Kevin Ryan
If you're making scrambled eggs, will you crack the egg and put the shell back in the carton?
Steph Tolov
Yes.
Kevin Ryan
Yeah, you do.
H. Foley
And you leave them all in there until the whole dozen's done and then you throw it out?
Steph Tolov
Yeah.
H. Foley
How does Shooter feel about that?
Steph Tolov
He eats 12 eggs a day. So. Those aren't sitting in there long.
Kevin Ryan
Yeah. You're burning and turning.
Steph Tolov
We're burning.
H. Foley
Yeah.
Kevin Ryan
Applebee's at happy hour. You're turning table.
H. Foley
And where are you two shopping at?
Kevin Ryan
Where are you guys?
Steph Tolov
It's very hard. No, I shop at. It's very annoying. This place called Lazy Acres in la. It's so expensive it pisses me off.
H. Foley
Is it like arowan expensive?
Steph Tolov
Yes. It's like close or I go. I get my. My produce from this place called John's which is. If anyone's seen la, they're going to be laughing because it's embarrassing. But John's has the best liquor and produce. Same liquor and produce. Oh yeah. They got like a sick. Like it's really cheap too.
Kevin Ryan
What's a go to drink for Steph Tolof? I apologize.
Steph Tolov
Tequila soda.
Kevin Ryan
Tequila if I'm out.
Steph Tolov
Margarita with a Tahin rim.
H. Foley
Tahin.
Steph Tolov
Yeah.
H. Foley
Okay. All right.
Kevin Ryan
Not bad.
Steph Tolov
It's so much salt otherwise. But I can't get it from like. I can't do like the mix, the pre mix. I. I'm very pick. You like a nice.
H. Foley
You like a nice.
Steph Tolov
I'm a fancy bitch when it comes to eating and drinking.
Kevin Ryan
What's on the. Sorry.
H. Foley
No, I was going to say this Liquor and produce is this.
Kevin Ryan
Got an address for this joint? Liquor and chicken.
H. Foley
Is this like a. Is this like Brentwood Market kind of nice?
Steph Tolov
No.
H. Foley
Or is it trash?
Steph Tolov
John's is trashy. John's is in my neighborhood. It's trashy as hell. But the Lazy Acres is like a fancier. Like a chicken breast. Like one piece of salmon is like $35.
H. Foley
Okay, so it's not like organic fruit at the.
Steph Tolov
Oh no. I'm eating swill. My produce is swell but I'm making sure my meat is already comes with worms.
Kevin Ryan
No, it's like my cherries rotten. Okay, what's. What's on the rider?
Steph Tolov
A veggie tray with hummus.
Kevin Ryan
That's it.
Steph Tolov
And sugar free Red Bulls. Pretty clear.
H. Foley
It's pretty classy.
Kevin Ryan
That's not bad.
Steph Tolov
Stop and water. Obviously that's not pretty classic.
Kevin Ryan
Are there any paper plates or red Solo cups in your apartment right now?
Steph Tolov
No. My. My. Shockingly my apartment was very nice.
Kevin Ryan
Okay.
Steph Tolov
I decorated very well.
Kevin Ryan
There's nothing wrong with red Solo cups.
H. Foley
Is there any milk crates in there that using his decoration?
Steph Tolov
No. No.
H. Foley
So it would look like an adult lives there, not like a kid.
Steph Tolov
It would look like a fancy doll lives there. I'm very. Yeah. I wish I picked up on the.
Kevin Ryan
Bench and stuff like that. That seems in the bookshelf that. It seems very calculated.
Steph Tolov
It looks very wayfair my house.
H. Foley
Okay.
Steph Tolov
Yeah.
H. Foley
What's the vacuum cleaner. Dyson.
Steph Tolov
No, we got like a. I had a Dyson. Stopped working. Got annoyed by it. So now we have like a plug in one, but for pet hair. Because Jefferson hates Susan's hair.
H. Foley
Okay.
Steph Tolov
She's not allowed on the couch.
Kevin Ryan
Sounds just like multiple roommates.
H. Foley
Who's Susan? You have a Swiffer?
Steph Tolov
Yes.
H. Foley
You said you have a washer and dryer in the unit. What's the laundry detergent?
Steph Tolov
I do like a natural one because.
H. Foley
I eco or something like that.
Steph Tolov
Yes.
H. Foley
Okay. Not bad.
Kevin Ryan
Have you ever skied in jeans?
Steph Tolov
No.
H. Foley
Can you ski?
Steph Tolov
I can ski.
H. Foley
Okay. Can you ice skate?
Steph Tolov
No. And it's so annoying because I'm Canadian, but I used to play floor hockey and like field hockey in high school.
H. Foley
Okay. Are you a good swimmer?
Steph Tolov
Yes, very good swimmer.
H. Foley
You bite your nails.
Steph Tolov
Yes, I do.
H. Foley
You bite them.
Steph Tolov
I more pick. It's like a tick thing I have. It's very gross.
H. Foley
Do you get them done? Like, will you go and get a manicure?
Steph Tolov
I just got these done because I filmed something last week. But normally.
H. Foley
But normally you keep them like that. You don't do the long nails?
Steph Tolov
No, no. I hate that. I can't wipe my ass. I'm always back there.
Kevin Ryan
You're always back there.
Steph Tolov
I got a hemorrhoid. It happened this morning. I'm fucking pissed off. You have a hemorrhoid right now. It's killing me. I'm sitting. I'm sitting on an angle. Could you not tell? I'm really leaning on my left side here. Pavi. This morning. Don't fucking bleed your hemorrhoid in my house. I'm like, what am I supposed to do with it? Take it outside. As if both of you don't have fucking hemorrhoids. I can see you.
H. Foley
Listen, I'm gross. I'm not saying I'm not just shocked to hear it from you. Any other things like the hemorrhoids that we need to know about?
Kevin Ryan
I got a piece of athletes.
Steph Tolov
I can show you. I can show you. I have. I was just on a cruise and I'm alert.
Kevin Ryan
We want to see this picture.
Steph Tolov
No. It's so fucked up. I'll show you.
Kevin Ryan
Okay.
Steph Tolov
I was just on a cruise ship and I'm allergic to the sun.
Kevin Ryan
Were you working or were you vacation?
Steph Tolov
Working. I don't vacation. I haven't vacationed in years. I want to kill myself. This is all over my body right now. So it's like. It's like. That's my back.
Kevin Ryan
What is that?
Steph Tolov
It's. It's I don't know, it's like. I think it's an eczema from the sun. And the skin, it like it raises and it blisters and then it scars me.
H. Foley
Okay.
Kevin Ryan
Did you see a doctor see that?
Steph Tolov
I have. They have, they have to test. They said they have to test the blister and take it out and test that. And I never around a doctor when it happens, so I just have issues. I'm fine. It's gone down now.
H. Foley
Okay, cool. It's a new one.
Steph Tolov
I love how many new ones. I have heavier.
Kevin Ryan
Have you ever.
Steph Tolov
I don't know. That's good or bad.
Kevin Ryan
It's not great. You don't want to be breaking new ground on this show.
Steph Tolov
God damn it.
Kevin Ryan
Have you ever pulled a fire alarm?
Steph Tolov
No.
Kevin Ryan
Okay. Have you ever intentionally given someone the wrong directions?
Steph Tolov
No, no, I'm nice.
Kevin Ryan
Have you ever driven with headphones in? Oh yeah, in the Subaru. Does that have a CD player?
Steph Tolov
It does, but not Subaru. Like when I used to drive my parents car.
H. Foley
Does Subaru have power windows?
Steph Tolov
Yes.
H. Foley
Does everything work on the Subaru?
Steph Tolov
It's a great subaru, yes. Like 30,000 miles.
H. Foley
Is it automatic?
Steph Tolov
Nothing? When I got it, yeah. That's why I got.
Kevin Ryan
Yeah.
H. Foley
Is it stick or automatic?
Steph Tolov
Stick.
H. Foley
You can drive stick?
Steph Tolov
No, no, automatic, sorry. Automatic. Automatic.
H. Foley
Can you drive stick?
Steph Tolov
No, no, no, no. I tried to learn. Did not work. Okay.
H. Foley
Do you like deviled eggs?
Steph Tolov
Love deviled eggs. Holy fuck. I suck back a whole tray right now.
Kevin Ryan
When have you been to a home goods a Marshalls or TJ Maxx in the last 30 days?
Steph Tolov
Yes. Yeah, I was at a Marshalls very recently.
H. Foley
Will you eat over the sink?
Steph Tolov
No, I sit down. After working in a restaurant for years, I. Every time I eat, I make sure I sit the fuck down. I hate standing and eating.
Kevin Ryan
Makes sense.
H. Foley
You said you're big on floss and you floss every day?
Steph Tolov
Floss twice a day.
H. Foley
Okay. Are you peeing in the shower every time? Do you brush your teeth in there?
Steph Tolov
No. Sometimes, but I like keep that separate.
H. Foley
When you brush your teeth, if you're not doing it in the shower, are you walking around the apartment or brushing your teeth?
Steph Tolov
No, I'm in the middle. Right there.
H. Foley
Stay right there.
Kevin Ryan
Are you a electric toothbrush or manual? Electric.
H. Foley
You have a toilet brush at the house?
Steph Tolov
Yeah, yeah, toilet brush.
Kevin Ryan
Brought him em. Hemorrhoids?
Steph Tolov
No, I got my bidet for the hemorrhoids.
Kevin Ryan
There you go. Is there any milk crates in your. In your apartment?
H. Foley
I asked.
Kevin Ryan
Oh, you did I'm sorry.
Steph Tolov
Okay.
H. Foley
I just pictured.
Kevin Ryan
I'm in a. I'm upside down right now.
Steph Tolov
I'm in the weeds with this upside down world.
H. Foley
Do you ever get dressed in front of the dryer or do you. Do you take all your stuff out of there and you fold it and you put it away?
Steph Tolov
I put it in like. I let it sit in my hamper for way too long and clean.
H. Foley
But fold it.
Steph Tolov
No, no, I don't fold it. But also I have pretty much just jumps.
Kevin Ryan
Big jumpsuit gal. Big.
Steph Tolov
My whole closet. I have like 60 right now. And they're just like.
Kevin Ryan
That would be great if I look. If it was socially acceptable for me to do jumpsuits.
H. Foley
What's the deodorant situation?
Steph Tolov
A natural one that doesn't fucking work.
H. Foley
Okay.
Steph Tolov
Hume. It's called Jason Ellis. If you know him, he sell. I don't know other people.
Kevin Ryan
Will you use the pool at a hotel?
Steph Tolov
Never in my life. I'm not getting Marissa. What the fuck?
Kevin Ryan
You have it.
H. Foley
Will you walk around in your bare feet in the hotel room?
Steph Tolov
No. Ew. Hotels are disgusting.
H. Foley
There's a weird line. Weird line. Perfume.
Steph Tolov
I wear like a coconut body spray.
Kevin Ryan
Drink a bottle a day.
Steph Tolov
That's why I have nice breath.
H. Foley
Do you have liquor in the house?
Steph Tolov
Yes.
H. Foley
You do. So you guys will make a cocktail in your home?
Steph Tolov
Sometimes we'll make like a dirty vodka martinis, our go to at the house.
H. Foley
Very nice.
Steph Tolov
I know.
H. Foley
Okay.
Kevin Ryan
She just means in a dirty glass.
Steph Tolov
I mean in a solo cup and a car.
Kevin Ryan
Do you know how to use chopsticks?
Steph Tolov
Yes.
H. Foley
Ever take karate classes?
Steph Tolov
No.
Kevin Ryan
Do you know. I'm sorry. Do you know anybody that worked at Hooters?
Steph Tolov
No.
Kevin Ryan
Okay.
H. Foley
Any turquoise jewelry?
Steph Tolov
Yes, I have a couple rings.
H. Foley
All right, take it easy.
Kevin Ryan
If you go to a restaurant, will you ask to change tables?
Steph Tolov
Yeah, I've done that.
Kevin Ryan
Well, you know, under what circumstances?
Steph Tolov
Well, I'll tell you what. Smokehouse in Los Angeles. Have you been to Smokehouse?
Kevin Ryan
No.
Steph Tolov
You gotta go to Smokehouse.
H. Foley
Is it a barbecue place?
Steph Tolov
No, it's a classic. It's like a steakhouse right across from W. Warner Brothers lot. It's like right there. It's like classic. They have a nice huge boost with the big plush backs. Then they sometimes sloppy the sides. It was our.
Kevin Ryan
You wanted a booth.
Steph Tolov
I want a booth. And they put us. It was like a. It was like. Like not. It's like a.
Kevin Ryan
You're on our chairs. You're about to on our chairs.
H. Foley
No, that's okay.
Steph Tolov
These were more comfortable Than those chairs. They were. They're bad chairs.
H. Foley
I got you.
Steph Tolov
And by the corner where the door is opening. I'm not sitting like that. If I'm gonna spend. We're gonna buy a bottle of wine. We're both gonna martini. We're gonna spend both eating steaks. I'm not. Am I eating steak and being slopped.
H. Foley
Around and it was empty, and you're.
Steph Tolov
Like, hey, there's 100 boobs. Yeah. And I was like. I said my sciatica was acting out.
H. Foley
Do you have a sciatica?
Kevin Ryan
My hemorrhoids are flaring. Miss, I need a booth.
H. Foley
I need a donut pillow. So you have sciatica, you have hemorrhoids.
Steph Tolov
Yeah.
H. Foley
Okay. And whatever that skin rash is.
Steph Tolov
Yes.
H. Foley
From the sun.
Steph Tolov
Yes.
Kevin Ryan
The non diagnosable.
Steph Tolov
I don't go in the sun a.
Kevin Ryan
Lot, so will you send food back? And under what circumstance?
Steph Tolov
No, no, no. That. Unless it's, like, fucking. There's a hair clumped on it or something, and then I'll suck it back.
H. Foley
How do you get the steak cooked?
Steph Tolov
Medium rare.
H. Foley
Gentleman. Okay. She's got some. Some.
Kevin Ryan
You know, she's got three out of a hundred. I mean.
Steph Tolov
What the hell?
H. Foley
What about leftovers? You take leftovers?
Steph Tolov
There's not really leftovers around with me.
H. Foley
Really?
Steph Tolov
My boyfriend. Oh, yeah. We're sucking. Oh, yeah.
H. Foley
Okay.
Steph Tolov
Last night went out with.
Kevin Ryan
You think Shooter McGavin's nephew? Can't put down a T? Bone stick.
Steph Tolov
We made it last night with Olivia and Pavi, and then we ordered all the stuff. And then Olivia's like, oh, we'll. We'll take this to go. We'll finish it. Nothing. One lemon potato left. Maybe Greek place in Astoria on Ditmars. Yeah.
H. Foley
K. Cleitis.
Steph Tolov
Is it on the corners, like a huge patio?
H. Foley
Yeah.
Kevin Ryan
No, that's not.
Steph Tolov
It's got a big blue outside awning.
H. Foley
Yeah. That's cake, ladies. Small little joint inside.
Steph Tolov
Yes.
Kevin Ryan
Little bar up front.
Steph Tolov
Yes, yes, yes.
H. Foley
That's cake.
Steph Tolov
Delicious. I got recognized. I walked in, the hostess went, oh, my God, Steph Tollivan.
Kevin Ryan
I used to make fun of you.
H. Foley
That's our spot. Shout out to Olivia and Patty for taking you a nice joint.
Steph Tolov
So fucking good.
Kevin Ryan
I mean, like, listen, this is. This is just for the love of the game.
H. Foley
I think she could pull out of this.
Kevin Ryan
I was gonna. I was gonna have. I was gonna. I was gonna have to start doing replacements.
H. Foley
Do you dance at a wedding?
Steph Tolov
I do dance at a wedding.
H. Foley
Do you have to be drunk to dance at a wedding?
Steph Tolov
No. No.
H. Foley
Okay. What's in the envelope? Say? Okay. There you go.
Steph Tolov
500. I'll give at least 500 for my.
Kevin Ryan
Great. Great. That's. I'll give you that. Do you have a Go to karaoke song?
Steph Tolov
Yes. Alanis Morissette. You Ought to Know. And I sing the out of it. Yeah.
H. Foley
Yeah. Oh, man. I bet you she sings with some emotion.
Steph Tolov
Oh, I do. I get really nice.
Kevin Ryan
Have you ever farted in your hand and made someone else smell it?
Steph Tolov
Yep.
Kevin Ryan
Okay.
Steph Tolov
Me and my dad used to do Blue Angels. Do you guys know what those are? Me, my dad, my sister, at one time with a cottage all bonded. It's when you light a match on your ass and there's, like, a little flame. So cute. You gotta try it.
H. Foley
I mean, that's prom queen, huh?
Kevin Ryan
The people. Well, have you ever ordered a shot of Fireball?
Steph Tolov
Yeah. Okay.
Kevin Ryan
I mean, what do we do?
Steph Tolov
I mean, what are you doing here? I clearly am trash.
H. Foley
Do you keep the butter on the counter at the house or do you.
Steph Tolov
Put it in the fridge? Fridge.
H. Foley
Okay.
Kevin Ryan
What kind of air freshener you got in the car?
Steph Tolov
None. I hate the smell. It's annoying. We clean the car. Jefferson cleans my car a lot. And there's no. I have nothing. There's no schlop around the car.
Kevin Ryan
There's no schlop.
Steph Tolov
Just like the dog. Have the dog thing in the back.
H. Foley
Who babysat you when you were a kid?
Steph Tolov
A grandma.
H. Foley
My mom's not bad.
Steph Tolov
Yeah.
H. Foley
Any Crystal Light in your family history?
Steph Tolov
No, I was not Hip Hop pop as a kid.
H. Foley
What's that?
Steph Tolov
No pop. As a kid, you weren't allowed soda. No. Yeah, soda. Sorry.
H. Foley
Do you have it now?
Steph Tolov
Diet Coke? Sometimes.
H. Foley
That's it.
Steph Tolov
I'm hungover. Yeah.
H. Foley
What were you drinking at dinner when you. When you were a kid?
Steph Tolov
And then if I didn't finish it, my dad would dump it on my head. Waste. Really bizarre.
H. Foley
He would dump it on your head.
Steph Tolov
If I didn't finish my skim milk out of a bag. You know, Disgusting. That is.
H. Foley
Yeah, I'm aware.
Kevin Ryan
Canadian bag.
Steph Tolov
He. He would cut the hole so big, the whole. The bag would just smell like the fridge. It was like fridge milk. It was disgusting. And skim is so gross.
H. Foley
Okay, okay, okay.
Kevin Ryan
All right. I mean, how am I making it worse?
H. Foley
That's enough.
Kevin Ryan
You need to stop talking. Seriously.
Steph Tolov
Oh, God.
H. Foley
Let's cut the commercial real quick.
Kevin Ryan
We all just throw our head.
H. Foley
We'll be right back with the roots. Everybody. Ladies and gentlemen, 101% pure, unfiltered imported Imported Canadian. Canadian garbage. You did not disappoint my friend.
Kevin Ryan
No. Fantastic.
H. Foley
I will tell you that, buddy. 100% trash. What a story.
Steph Tolov
Thank you.
H. Foley
What a ride. Unbelievable. Congrats on everything.
Steph Tolov
Thank you.
H. Foley
June 24th.
Kevin Ryan
I hope the pills kick in soon.
Steph Tolov
I need pills bad.
H. Foley
Good luck with the hemorrhoid. June 24 on Netflix. Film queen.
Kevin Ryan
Yes.
H. Foley
Look at that Netflix special.
Kevin Ryan
Love to see it.
H. Foley
Look at her. Where'd you film this?
Steph Tolov
At Boston, at the Paradise Rock Club.
H. Foley
Very nice.
Steph Tolov
Yeah, it's like an old school shout out to Boston. Yeah, it looks like it was like an old Van Halen set. The lights, the trellises. It looks fucking sick as hell.
H. Foley
I love it. That's June 24th on Netflix. Make sure you check it out. Stephen Fection. You can hear that every week. Her amazing podcast. You're on tour.
Steph Tolov
I'm on tour. Non stop. Fucking add me on Instagram.
Kevin Ryan
Working.
H. Foley
You're doing fantastic. We're so happy for you.
Kevin Ryan
I love to see you.
H. Foley
We love you. And yeah, I'm gonna go wash my.
Steph Tolov
I gotta go wash my hemorrhoid.
H. Foley
That's probably what you were doing in there. Steph Tolov, ladies and gentlemen. Give her a big round of applause.
Steph Tolov
Thank you. I'm trash.
H. Foley
Did not disappoint. Jesus, Kippy. What do you got for them?
Kevin Ryan
Guys, we're over the road. Tour dates are on sale. Get them at. Are you garbage.com? also, we have some card games left. Are you garbage.com?
H. Foley
Love yous, Steph. We love you.
Steph Tolov
Thanks for having me, gang.
H. Foley
We love you. We'll see you next week.
Steph Tolov
Peace.
Podcast Title: Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast
Episode: Steph Tolev!
Release Date: June 5, 2025
Hosts: Kevin Ryan & H. Foley
Guest: Steph Tolev
In this episode of Are You Garbage?, hosts Kevin Ryan and H. Foley welcome the talented and multifaceted Steph Tolev. Known for her sharp wit and engaging performances, Steph joins the show to share her journey through comedy, her tumultuous upbringing, and her rise to success in the entertainment industry.
Steph begins by delving into her family's origins, revealing a unique and somewhat chaotic heritage. Her grandparents entered into an arranged marriage from Bulgaria, a union that brought her father to Canada under less-than-ideal circumstances.
Steph Tolev [05:07]: "My dad's mother and father arranged marriage in Bulgaria... He goes, mumbles it. The guy goes, Tolev. This is a made-up name."
The challenges of assimilation are evident as Steph recounts the language barriers and cultural mismatches that defined her family's early years in Canada.
High school was a period marked by intense involvement and significant struggles for Steph. Her parents' commitment to highland dancing meant that her weekends were dominated by rigorous practice sessions, leaving little room for a typical teenage social life.
Steph Tolev [10:05]: "Every weekend we had a competition. Every single weeknight, we had practice. I had no fucking life. I had no life. I had no friends."
Despite these constraints, Steph was active in various school activities, including the announcement crew, student government, and sports like lacrosse and cross country. However, her high school experience was not without conflict. She shares a particularly dramatic incident where she was arrested for assault after a confrontation in the math hallway.
Steph Tolev [20:06]: "I had a jealousy problem with my first boyfriend, Marlon... I shoved her back. But then my friend... just throws this girl to the ground and just pounds her in the math hallway."
This event painted a picture of a tumultuous and challenging high school life, contributing to her later comedic material.
Post-high school, Steph pursued her passion for comedy at Humber College, enrolling in the Comedy Writing and Performance program. Her time in college was equally challenging, living with eight male roommates and grappling with gender dynamics in improv settings.
Steph Tolev [27:37]: "We would just be stoned all the time. And they hated us because we didn't write anything... At the end of the year, they cut me out of all the sketch shows and I had to do stand up."
This pivot from improv to stand-up comedy was a pivotal moment in her career, setting the stage for her future endeavors in the comedy scene.
After completing her studies, Steph made the significant move to Los Angeles a decade ago to further her comedy career. Navigating the complexities of obtaining a green card, she engaged in various activities to meet the immigration requirements, including participating in commercials and competitions.
Steph Tolev [33:08]: "I had to go back in. So they had to hold back my fucking green card for another like three, four months. I kept having these going away parties in Toronto. Like, fuck you, Canada."
Her persistence paid off, allowing her to establish herself in the competitive LA comedy scene. Over the years, Steph has honed her craft, eventually earning recognition and landing a Netflix special titled Filth Queen, set to release on June 24th.
Steph Tolev [66:19]: "June 24th on Netflix. Filth Queen. Look at that Netflix special."
Steph shares insights into her personal life, including her living arrangements and her relationship with her boyfriend, who amusingly resembles Shooter McGavin’s nephew from the iconic film Happy Gilmore. Their relationship is characterized by mutual support and shared responsibilities, despite living in a less-than-ideal neighborhood in East Hollywood.
Steph Tolev [45:31]: "He's an actor, comedian, musician. So I'm at the Laugh Factory one night... I met his nephew, Jefferson. He looks exactly like Shooter McGavin."
Their day-to-day life involves managing an apartment with practical concerns like rent, pet care for her golden retriever Susan, and maintaining a harmonious household despite occasional quirks and challenges.
Steph Tolev [48:15]: "I'm a great girlfriend. And now he comes with me on the road. Pavi features."
Throughout the episode, Steph shares a plethora of humorous stories and personal quirks that highlight her comedic persona. From her experiences with high school bullies to her unique cooking habits and tattoo choices, Steph's anecdotes are both entertaining and relatable.
Steph Tolev [25:35]: "We made a box of fire... Light a match on your ass and there's like a little flame. So cute. You gotta try it."
Her candidness about personal issues, such as dealing with hemorrhoids and skin conditions from sun allergies, adds depth to her character and provides rich material for her comedic performances.
As the episode wraps up, Steph Tolev reflects on her journey from a challenging upbringing to achieving success in comedy. Hosts Kevin Ryan and H. Foley commend her resilience and unique perspective, emphasizing her growth and accomplishments.
H. Foley [66:09]: "June 24th on Netflix. Filth Queen. You can hear that every week. Her amazing podcast. You're on tour."
Steph concludes with heartfelt thanks, reiterating her commitment to her craft and her audience.
Steph Tolev [66:59]: "Thank you. I'm trash."
This episode of Are You Garbage? offers an unfiltered glimpse into Steph Tolev's life, showcasing her ability to transform personal challenges into comedic gold. Her candid storytelling, coupled with the hosts' engaging banter, makes for a compelling and entertaining listen. Whether you're a long-time fan or new to her work, Steph's journey is both inspiring and hilariously relatable.
Don't Miss Out:
Be sure to catch Steph Tolev's upcoming Netflix special Filth Queen on June 24th and follow her on Instagram for more updates on her tour and comedic adventures.