Strict Dress Code! w/ Kevin Ryan & H. Foley

Summary

Are You Garbage? – Strict Dress Code! w/ Kevin Ryan & H. Foley

Release date: January 12, 2026

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Episode Overview

This “family episode” of Are You Garbage? features hosts Kevin Ryan and H. Foley swapping stories and riffing on their latest travels, including a hilarious and painfully relatable tale of getting outclassed by a steakhouse dress code. The duo deep-dives into questions of social class, personal embarrassment, and what constitutes “garbage” behavior — from fashion faux pas to pizza plate debates and leftover etiquette. As always, the tone is light, fast-paced, self-deprecating, and full of sharp one-liners about the absurdities of adulthood, parenting, and eating out (or ordering in).

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Tour Announcements and Podcast Growth

• The episode opens with the boys promoting their “Back on the Block” comedy tour hitting cities like Austin, Chicago, Tampa, and more.
• Kevin touts the pod’s rise in the charts:

  "We're a bootstrapped operation. Now look at us. Number what? What were we last week?"
  H. Foley: “2787.”
  Kevin: "We were number 87 in all podcasts on spot. All podcasts." [02:00]

2. Kevin’s Steakhouse Dress Code Embarrassment

• The Story: Kevin recounts taking his family (including a baby) on a road trip — staying in various motels, under-dressing, stopping at Polo outlets, and deciding to take his wife and baby to a nice Baltimore steakhouse (Ruxton Steakhouse).
• Dress Code Drama:
  • Kevin dressed in dark jeans, clean Jordans, a nice T-shirt, and a Polo puffer.
  • Upon being seated, the hostess informs him:

  “Sir, all gentlemen are required to wear a shirt with a collar.” [13:14, Kevin]

  • Kevin is mortified and offered a “host jacket.”
  • Humiliation is intensified as a table of “cool-ass, well-dressed, rich black dudes” witness the whole scenario.
  • Acknowledges the double standard:

  "This girl's tailgating at the… I know what Ray Lewis looks like and that ain't Ray Lewis." [13:30, Kevin]

  • Ultimately dons the jacket, gets (semi-ironic) approval from the neighboring table, and reflects on how a “blazer over a T-shirt” makes him feel both out-of-place and momentarily classy.
  • H. Foley commiserates:

  "The only thing that I looked—then I looked like I really belong." [16:22, Kevin]

Memorable Quote:

"I have to try the jacket on in the dining room after this fucking hoopla. And then one of the black dudes that—‘It looks pretty good.’" [15:39, Kevin]

3. Navigating Class and Comfort Zones

• The hosts riff on how they never truly “belong” in nice establishments, with Kevin saying:

  "I just don’t belong in those joints." [24:31]

• Foley shares childhood anxieties about appearing “trashy” and the performative attempts at class in their families.

Blazers-and-Tee Movement:

"Blazers and T shirts. We could like the 80s. Bring that back." [16:24, Kevin]

4. Overcompensating When Embarrassed

• Kevin details over-ordering at the steakhouse (“house-made tater tots and caviar," "lobster bisque," "wagyu tasting") as a way to “reassert his presence” after the jacket incident.

"It was like my card got declined and I doubled it." [24:14, Kevin]
“If I didn’t overcompensate on the order because I was embarrassed about the jacket…. I went, 'I’d like to purchase your chandelier, please.'" [23:51, Kevin]

5. Parenting & Public Dining with Kids

• The mechanics and guilt of bringing a baby into a high-end restaurant, the baby’s behavior, and the hosts gently roasting each other’s parental anxieties.
• Kevin describes navigating the staff’s politeness, special treatment, and random things the baby is given at the table:

  "He did the wagyu tasting. Munch on that little..." [08:20, Kevin]

6. Garbage Questions from Patreon

• Listeners provide scenarios for the hosts to judge as “garbage” or not:
  • Using metal utensils with paper plates (“Paper plates suck, man.” [36:04, H. Foley])
  • Hoarding antibiotics for flu season (“It’s garbage, but they give you such bullshit. None of that bullshit you’re getting over the counter works.” [72:18, H. Foley])
  • Family stories about friends with glass eyes (“That is like—the end all be all move if you’re a kid.” [33:20, Kevin])
  • The etiquette of “second-heat” pizza (reheating delivery pizza for that perfect crisp) and refusing plates (debate about eating pizza straight from the spatula or hand).
  • Owning a hot tub through multiple divorces ([66:59], listener question):

    "That ain't lasting. … If you gotta think about it, that’s like the only constant for 20 years. That’s probably like his fucking—he's like, 'If all else fails, I got this fucking hot tub.'" [67:00, Kevin]

7. Nostalgia and Random Garbage Memories

• Childhood warnings: Dangers of pool covers, refrigerator doors, jumping into pools.
• "Repurposing" leftovers—Foley rants about mothers cobbling together meals from disparate scraps.

8. Pop Culture & Trash TV

• The duo reminisces about early reality shows: "Flavor of Love," “Rock of Love,” "The Surreal Life," and the cultural moment of “The Osbournes” and “TRL.”

  "Osbournes don’t get enough credit too." [64:54, H. Foley] “That was big dude. And [Flavor Flav] was like, perfect because so many people knew who he was already. It was so insane, too.” [64:47, Kevin]

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Notable Quotes & Moments

• Dress Code Panic:

  "I was embarrassed, thoroughly embarrassed. But I go, you know what? You got something in a members only?" [14:06, Kevin (re: being forced to wear a jacket)]

• Class Anxiety:

  "We're people of like, we know we don't belong in nice places." [12:40, Kevin]

• Approval from Fellow Diners:

  “It looks pretty good,” [15:39, anonymous diner to Kevin, after jacket incident]

• Ordering to Prove a Point:

  "I was so obtuse. It was like my card got declined and I doubled it." [24:14, Kevin]

• On Using Paper Plates:

  "I remember trying to cut Eggo waffles one time and the syrup was going right through the plate onto the table." [36:04, Kevin]

• On Leftover Meals:

  “Eating frosted flakes with chopsticks. The fuck out of here. What am I, a jerk off?” [36:35, Kevin]

• Parental Trauma:

  “I remember my friends jumping off my cousin’s roof into the in-ground pool. I was like, I ain't doing that.” [69:10, H. Foley]

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Timestamps for Key Segments

• 02:00 – Podcast chart success, outworking other pods
• 05:40–17:00 – Kevin’s Ruxton steakhouse dress code story: shopping at the Polo outlet, bringing a baby, humiliation at the table
• 16:24 – “Blazers-and-Tees” as a potential new look
• 23:51–24:14 – Overordering to compensate for the jacket mishap
• 36:00 – Paper plates with metal utensils debate
• 41:00 – Eating pizza straight from the spatula, “wave” argument for reheating delivery pizza
• 55:00 – Leftover etiquette and small pizza shame
• 62:15 – Trash TV: “Flavor of Love”, “Rock of Love”, “Strange Love”, “Surreal Life”
• 67:00 – Hot tub through multiple divorces question
• 72:18 – Hoarding antibiotics, home remedies, and the myth of over-the-counter medicine

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Tone and Style

• Egalitarian, blue-collar, and sharply self-deprecating.
• Quick-witted, riff-heavy, with stories that pivot between the painfully relatable and the absurd.
• Neither host claims class or “expert” status — both admit their foibles, flaws, and “garbage” tendencies with pride.
• Each story is punctuated by quick jabs, cultural references, and callbacks (“you don’t need a jacket in Arby’s…they’ll probably hire you!” [28:02, Kevin]).

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For New Listeners

This episode is a quintessential “Are You Garbage?”: funny, fast, and full of cringe-y, working-class truths about how clothing, restaurant etiquette, and even reheating pizza reflect who we really are. If you’ve ever felt out-of-place in a “nice” place, overcompensated for embarrassment, or caught yourself defending an indefensible garbage life choice, you’ll find yourself right at home here — in a blazer, or not.

Transcript

[H. Foley]

Gang, it's a brand new year and the boys are heading back out on the road for that back on the block tour. Come on out and see us stand up comedy. And then you get to ask your garbage questions to me and Neil Kiperino.

[Kevin Ryan]

Yeah, baby. It's a good time. We got Austin, Texas, Tampa, Florida, Chicago, Illinois, Bloomington, Indiana, Nashville, Tennessee, Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania, and Cleveland, Ohio. These shows are going to sell out. Get your tickets. Don't snooze. You go to lose. We'll see you there. Love us.

[H. Foley]

Welcome to another exciting edition of Are you garbage? The show where you find out if your favorite comedians are classy individuals or absolute trash. Now here are your hosts, Kevin Ryan and H. Foley. Hey, everybody out there. And welcome back to everybody's favorite podcast. This is RU Garbage. It's that little show. We sit down with your favorite comedians and we find that at the group to be classy.

[Kevin Ryan]

Yeah.

[H. Foley]

Or if they're just a big old piece of trash.

[Kevin Ryan]

Trash, trash, trash.

[H. Foley]

I'm your host, H. Foley. Coming at you on a beautiful day. We're out back here at Tooties in the new edition. She's off to the theater tonight.

[Kevin Ryan]

Okay.

[H. Foley]

Shen Yun.

[Kevin Ryan]

Shen Yun.

[H. Foley]

Shen Yun.

[Kevin Ryan]

I think it's Shen. I don't know what it is.

[H. Foley]

I can get my eyes on this, huh?

[Kevin Ryan]

They say it's a spectacle.

[H. Foley]

Is that right?

[Kevin Ryan]

China before communism. Really what it's all about.

[H. Foley]

Whoa.

[Kevin Ryan]

Huh?

[H. Foley]

What are they doing?

[Kevin Ryan]

I don't know. You tell me. Offensive coordinator. Got the real X's and O's on this, huh?

[H. Foley]

Blue 42, Mike, host is coming at you across the table. This is what we call a family episode. Just the boys, the bozos and their insults. Apparently he is the CEO of Are you garbage? He is an international businessman and my best pal in the whole wide world, unfortunately. Give it up for KJ Kevin James Ryan.

[Kevin Ryan]

What up, gang? Shout out to you as always, please make sure you rate review subscribe on itunes. Full video available on YouTube. Full video available over there on Spotify. Boys are climbing the friggin charts. Listen, we're the little pod that could baby. We're a bootstrapped operation. Now look at us. Number what? What were we last week?

[H. Foley]

2787.

[Kevin Ryan]

We were number 87 in all podcast on spot. All podcasts.

[H. Foley]

Crazy.

[Kevin Ryan]

You know why? Why? We were dropping episodes during the break when nobody else was. That's when we fucking moved. Adio. We get in there like bedbug. Everybody else is off in the fucking Caribbean. Not the boys.

[H. Foley]

Well, you know they say a good defense Is a good offense. That's what I tell my guys.

[Kevin Ryan]

And I hit the showers. And the boys on the road. New year. Same same Back on the block tour. We got new cities coming. Tickets are moving, gang. We got Chicago, we got Austin. All. I mean, these shows are more than halfway sold out, and we're months away. You got Austin, you got Chicago, you got Tampa, which we're gonna be doing a whole filming down there. Tampa at side Splitter. So get them, Tiggy Wiki porn's legal down here.

[H. Foley]

It's weird. It is.

[Kevin Ryan]

No, not in Florida.

[H. Foley]

Yeah, it is. No, you shut the fuck up. It could be.

[Kevin Ryan]

Nah, because I got a VPN and I switched it to Miami and that still denied me.

[H. Foley]

No, but that's. That's when you're consuming.

[Kevin Ryan]

Talking about production, Luke, I think it's legal everywhere.

[H. Foley]

Is it?

[Kevin Ryan]

This ain't shit. This is Shen Yun, baby. This is pre communism.

[H. Foley]

Why is Patty giving me such a hard time?

[Kevin Ryan]

He didn't pull the right permit.

[H. Foley]

Goddamn teamster staring at me. I'm trying to chub one up.

[Kevin Ryan]

Guy with a boom mic. I can't do this. You're the new Bonnie Blue. There's a bunch of dudes waiting in ski masks. Hello. Good Lord.

[H. Foley]

Hello.

[Kevin Ryan]

Wellington, cup of tea for the big fella? I. I got some, man. I'm a bozo, right? Oh. What?

[H. Foley]

Okay, guys, we got to take a walk by and say hi to Luke at the corner office.

[Kevin Ryan]

I don't like. Can the OC Stop showering with the team? You're getting in the showers. Yeah, keep calling for showers. I blew it. Yeah, I'm out. Good thing you went over to the non comedian. Thanks for doing that.

[H. Foley]

Two weeks off of vacation, too. This guy's still on London time.

[Kevin Ryan]

Come on. Mush, mushy peas.

[H. Foley]

Ooh, don't get me started.

[Kevin Ryan]

Well, Doc, you fucked up. I'm a bozo. Yeah. I'm a bozo, right? Yeah, I.

[H. Foley]

Well.

[Kevin Ryan]

What?

[H. Foley]

I don't know. You do.

[Kevin Ryan]

Yeah. I'm not as. I mean, I'm better than you in most. Most social. Yeah. Yeah. Well, as you know, me and my broad and the baby did a nice little family. My family did a road trip from Florida back home.

[H. Foley]

Mulen.

[Kevin Ryan]

Mulen. Yeah. Huh?

[H. Foley]

Keep it all in the diapers. So Henry Hill did it.

[Kevin Ryan]

Listen, that ain't that fucking. That ain't Similac.

[H. Foley]

Sima.

[Kevin Ryan]

Smack. Luke.

[H. Foley]

God damn it. I tell you.

[Kevin Ryan]

Ha. Hey. Good one, boss. So one of our stops was the wonderful Baltimore. Baltimore City.

[H. Foley]

B town.

[Kevin Ryan]

B town. Right now we're There. So we had. We had drove. We were down in Orlando. So I didn't really. I. I was expected to be by a pool and hanging out. So I didn't really have any, like, nice formal wear.

[H. Foley]

Okay.

[Kevin Ryan]

Right. And then nice clothes.

[H. Foley]

You didn't bring dinner clothes? Nah. Well, I thought you were supposed to go to the stx. Yeah.

[Kevin Ryan]

You can wear a T shirt to that. Like a nice T shirt. You know what I mean? What are we doing?

[H. Foley]

You can?

[Kevin Ryan]

Sure.

[H. Foley]

You got a chain on the outside flashing some ice. I was going to get you a chain.

[Kevin Ryan]

I got one.

[H. Foley]

No, a real one.

[Kevin Ryan]

I have a real one.

[H. Foley]

No, you do not. That's fake gold.

[Kevin Ryan]

No, it's not.

[H. Foley]

Moody gold, as the gypsies call it.

[Kevin Ryan]

What? I don't know.

[H. Foley]

It was a snatch.

[Kevin Ryan]

Okay, Chuck.

[H. Foley]

Full of moody gold. Make sure that's not racist.

[Kevin Ryan]

ChatGPT says that is. So we get. So it's a long, arduous journey. Right. We're staying in hotels. Jumping. Jumping. Fucking shitty motel. Decent motel. Shitty motel. We get to Baltimore and I go, you know what? We. We've been kind of wearing the same clothes. We didn't have cold weather clothes.

[H. Foley]

Right?

[Kevin Ryan]

Right. So I had one pair of pants and one hoodie and same with my wife. So we've been like, just kind of. We just needed a change, so we went to a Polo Outlet.

[H. Foley]

You did?

[Kevin Ryan]

Stopped at a Polo Outlet. Whole family got fleeced out in a Polo out. You couldn't tell me you're wearing the.

[H. Foley]

Ralph Lauren line and all of us.

[Kevin Ryan]

Dude, all of us got Polo Outlet.

[H. Foley]

Because cardboard shoes, they sell a pen station. I picked them up a couple of times.

[Kevin Ryan]

Shout out to NY Fashions. Yeah, So I did. I bought a hoodie. I bought like a. I bought a hoodie and then whatever.

[H. Foley]

So we bought a nice hoodie to go out to dinner.

[Kevin Ryan]

No, we weren't going out to dinner at this time. I need a hoodie.

[H. Foley]

What are you guys on the run?

[Kevin Ryan]

What's kind of like that? Well, I mean, what are we doing? We were.

[H. Foley]

What color did she dye her hair?

[Kevin Ryan]

She cut it. I cut her hair. And like, born identity.

[H. Foley]

Put a mustache on the baby.

[Kevin Ryan]

He's 32.

[H. Foley]

Talk to a veteran like that.

[Kevin Ryan]

He's drunk. So we decide. We get to Baltimore and go, you know what? There's a nice steakhouse that I get my eyes on.

[H. Foley]

Capitol.

[Kevin Ryan]

No.

[H. Foley]

Okay.

[Kevin Ryan]

It's called the Ruxton Steakhouse.

[H. Foley]

Oh, I know it.

[Kevin Ryan]

How do you know it?

[H. Foley]

I know.

[Kevin Ryan]

How do you know it?

[H. Foley]

I know. To Ruxton hell. Huh?

[Kevin Ryan]

What Exactly.

[H. Foley]

I know the family.

[Kevin Ryan]

The Ruxton family.

[H. Foley]

Yes.

[Kevin Ryan]

Okay, so we go to Maryland. Ruxton's got the Ruxton's from Maryland. Yes. The steak family.

[H. Foley]

Yes.

[Kevin Ryan]

That's big steak money.

[H. Foley]

A lot of steak money.

[Kevin Ryan]

So we go 4.4 stars.

[H. Foley]

Nice.

[Kevin Ryan]

I got a pair of jeans on. I bought it.

[H. Foley]

Wait, you bring Junior?

[Kevin Ryan]

Yeah. I call, I make sure they make sure they accommodate kids. They say, yeah, kids of all ages are welcome.

[H. Foley]

So you got him parked next to the table like he's a Caesar salad.

[Kevin Ryan]

They make it at the table. No, he's in a high chair. They say, no way. We welcome kids from all kids of all ages, and we'll provide high chair.

[H. Foley]

Give him a little something.

[Kevin Ryan]

He did. He did the wagyu tasting. Munch on that little.

[H. Foley]

So he probably looks cute in a little high chair.

[Kevin Ryan]

We get in there, right. You know, I know how to operate in these situations. Pretty, you know, decent. You've been out to eat with me at a nice joint. Yeah, I got. I got a pair of jeans on, right? That's how I got a pair of jeans. On.

[H. Foley]

Your Ralph roll. Ralph Rollo hoodie.

[Kevin Ryan]

No, no hoodie. I got a nice brand new T shirt. Okay, Right. Nice T shirt. Black tea or like, navy blue T shirt. Nice. And I bought a. It was 50% off a polo puffer. Like, you know, like one of those. Like. Not like a big puff, but like a. One of the things that those rich guys wear.

[H. Foley]

You know who's wearing them a lot these days?

[Kevin Ryan]

Who? Matt Dillon and fucking Ben Stiller. Going into the Knicks games. Sure. Something like that.

[H. Foley]

That Knicks lineup. Everybody going in.

[Kevin Ryan]

Little jelly. Ah, get out of here, Jelly.

[H. Foley]

So everybody.

[Kevin Ryan]

I'm a little. I'm a little upset.

[H. Foley]

Shout out to the Knicks.

[Kevin Ryan]

I'm a little. You know, I'm like. I'm taking a baby to a nice restaurant Sunday. It's, like, early. It's like.

[H. Foley]

Is he crying?

[Kevin Ryan]

It's like six. No, he was. He was great. It was like six something.

[H. Foley]

I'll lose it.

[Kevin Ryan]

So it's not that late, right? Also, I'm not late, you know, so it's like six something.

[H. Foley]

You're not there at 10.

[Kevin Ryan]

When it went, it was popping.

[H. Foley]

When the dealers are.

[Kevin Ryan]

You know what I mean? Yeah. So I'm like, I wouldn't go in. We're gonna. It says all kids are welcome. There was no, like, age. So I go, okay. We get there, they're super accommodating. Now I'm. I'm in my jean. I got jeans on, like, dark Jeans I look like I could go into. I've worn worse to restaurants in New York. You know what I mean?

[H. Foley]

I want a bathing suit.

[Kevin Ryan]

Sure. So I'm like, I got. I got a brand new, nice T shirt on. Dark. Pair of jeans, pair of clean Nike clean Jordans. All right. Okay. And I got my. I got my polo puffer on. You know what I mean?

[H. Foley]

Yeah.

[Kevin Ryan]

So I roll in. They got jacket. Jacket, yeah.

[H. Foley]

Winter coat.

[Kevin Ryan]

But, like, light.

[H. Foley]

That set you back.

[Kevin Ryan]

I was 50% off. Not bad. I forget what it was, but is.

[H. Foley]

It one of the, like the quilted ones or whatever?

[Kevin Ryan]

Yeah, like the thing not quilted. The thin lines. Yeah.

[H. Foley]

Pretty.

[Kevin Ryan]

You know, something like his dad would wear.

[H. Foley]

Yeah.

[Kevin Ryan]

You know what I mean? That's. I. I felt like a. I felt like a businessman, like on the stand on watching his kids T ball game.

[H. Foley]

His dad probably didn't buy it at an outlet.

[Kevin Ryan]

Hey, you don't know it, you know?

[H. Foley]

You know, he doesn't strike me as.

[Kevin Ryan]

A Dempsey's love a deal, do they?

[H. Foley]

They do. I bet they do.

[Kevin Ryan]

So that was harsh. I go in and they're super accommodating, like, hey, you want to park your stroller behind the hostess desk? You know? I go, oh, yeah, that'd be great.

[H. Foley]

Put it up front with the good.

[Kevin Ryan]

Ones, making sure it's facing out too, and get the fuck out of here.

[H. Foley]

You roll into a steakhouse with a stroller.

[Kevin Ryan]

Listen, they said they accommodate kids, right? It's okay. So I. So they're super nice. Hey, right?

[H. Foley]

He ain't mine. He's my nephew.

[Kevin Ryan]

They're super nice to go. Hey, we have this four top here, like on the edge. Or we can put like one of the bigger tables with, like, the booth.

[H. Foley]

Yeah, they got to. They kiss your ass.

[Kevin Ryan]

Why?

[H. Foley]

Because it's probably gonna write a bad review. I went in there with my uber sized baby. He's in a barber chair.

[Kevin Ryan]

So couldn't have been more because. Nice. Sweet. We go sit down. They get him the high chair. I apologize. I plop him in the high chair. The broad sits down. I, you know, I fucking. I got my puffer on. I take my puffer off, I put it on the chair. No code check. No code check. It's okay. But I got. Sorry. We got our stuff.

[H. Foley]

Was there a coat check?

[Kevin Ryan]

No, not that I saw. And they didn't offer. There was, there wasn't. They might have not wear a normal coat check. So I take my puffer off, I put it on the big nice, like corporate steakhouse chairs. Love Them, you know, you're fucking in.

[H. Foley]

You got the armrest.

[Kevin Ryan]

Yeah. You're great. It's great.

[H. Foley]

So you put yours on the other chair.

[Kevin Ryan]

I put mine in the other chair behind you with his. It wouldn't fit behind because I think like the armrest or something like that. So not a big boy no more.

[H. Foley]

Hang mine on two of them. I put everything, let that dry.

[Kevin Ryan]

Got it on the bar.

[H. Foley]

Covering the espresso machine.

[Kevin Ryan]

Now I'm like, you know, we're. We're people of like, we know we don't belong in nice places.

[H. Foley]

Us.

[Kevin Ryan]

Yes, yes. Right. So I walk in there and I'm a little hesitant, oh my God, we're bringing a baby. And then I look over, there's a woman at the bar, at the bar section of the restaurant. Nice bar, not great night, beautiful bar. She's sitting there in a Ravens jersey. It's a Sunday night, she's in a Ravens jersey.

[H. Foley]

Fair enough, right?

[Kevin Ryan]

So I go, oh, this is, this is Casy Wagy. We're hanging out. I sit down, take your shoes off. Take my puffer off. Hostess comes over, says, sir, all gentlemen are required to wear a shirt with a collar.

[H. Foley]

I said, what, what the. You couldn't have called me at the host any embarrassed me in front of my son.

[Kevin Ryan]

That's.

[H. Foley]

What about Lamar Jackson over there sucking down a wet salad. You can say to her.

[Kevin Ryan]

I go, this girl's tailgating at the.

[H. Foley]

I know what Ray Lewis looks like and that ain't Ray Lewis.

[Kevin Ryan]

So I go, I go. She goes, you can put your jacket back on. And I got him for have a nice sweaty meal. Sweating. Do you think it looked like I'm on a ski lift?

[H. Foley]

Pick attack.

[Kevin Ryan]

Can't be eaten like that.

[H. Foley]

No.

[Kevin Ryan]

So she goes, we do have jackets for. We have jackets.

[H. Foley]

That's a nice joint.

[Kevin Ryan]

She goes, we have jackets for situations. And I went, I don't know what. I go, I was embarrassed, thoroughly embarrassed. But I go, you know what?

[H. Foley]

You got something in a members only.

[Kevin Ryan]

You got something from a polo outlet. I go, I'll take the jacket.

[H. Foley]

Uh huh.

[Kevin Ryan]

Now it's a bit of a People clock this around me. Oh, table full of.

[H. Foley]

They have a little one for the baby. That'd be cute.

[Kevin Ryan]

Yeah, go. This guy, I think he might have had a collar or something. Ascot or something like that. There's a table of four cool ass, well dressed, rich black dudes behind me that see this go down. And I heard just a. Like they felt it. And I dude, because I felt I heard them. It Just. It sucked.

[H. Foley]

Forgot your coat, huh, officer?

[Kevin Ryan]

Yeah. So they. So then she comes back over and I gotta put it on.

[H. Foley]

Try it on the show.

[Kevin Ryan]

And now I'm a bigger guy. I've been.

[H. Foley]

They have one of those. They have one of those three sided mirrors. Put your fat ass up there. I hate those.

[Kevin Ryan]

An Italian guy checking my inseam now. I gotta. I gotta roll the dice on this blazer.

[H. Foley]

We got Bernadette sauce on.

[Kevin Ryan]

Stain on it. Stain on it for sure. I go. But then I'm going. This ladies.

[H. Foley]

You have to walk around like a rental car stain was here getting charged for this.

[Kevin Ryan]

I got my own insurance, thank you very much. That's how they get you.

[H. Foley]

Not pay with an amic. Wow. So they couldn't have said something.

[Kevin Ryan]

I. But I gotta be. Yeah, but. So I gotta try it on in the dining room after this fucking hoopla. And then one of the black dudes that. It looked pretty. It looks pretty good.

[H. Foley]

Did he.

[Kevin Ryan]

Yeah. Hit me with baby first. Baby first. All right.

[H. Foley]

Hey.

[Kevin Ryan]

Right.

[H. Foley]

That's your jacket.

[Kevin Ryan]

That's my jacket.

[H. Foley]

That's a nice joint.

[Kevin Ryan]

Not nice joint. So then. But hit the one from the. It looks pretty good. And I gotta be honest with you, a blazer and T shirt. I might look like you're lost.

[H. Foley]

Like someone just handed you that baby.

[Kevin Ryan]

He's a heavy baby. Look at that though. That looks pretty good, right?

[H. Foley]

Punch.

[Kevin Ryan]

I know if punching.

[H. Foley]

Wow.

[Kevin Ryan]

That looks pretty good. I got. I got a sideways one. I did a profile.

[H. Foley]

That's very nice though.

[Kevin Ryan]

The only thing that I looked then I looked like I really belong.

[H. Foley]

Let's start doing blazers.

[Kevin Ryan]

Blazers and T shirts. We could like the 80s. Bring that back.

[H. Foley]

All right, I'm in.

[Kevin Ryan]

You're in? Yeah. Let's go.

[H. Foley]

Let's go.

[Kevin Ryan]

I gotta tell you, I sat there and went. I feel pretty good. I feel nice. I feel like I belong. Is embarrassing.

[H. Foley]

Can we do stand up in those. Like. We got spots in the city.

[Kevin Ryan]

Sure.

[H. Foley]

You think. Looking an idiot though. If you're up there bombing with a.

[Kevin Ryan]

And the problem with.

[H. Foley]

Been there.

[Kevin Ryan]

Yeah. You've been so valuing. Got a fucking blazer. The problem with that is you don't. You don't get it dry cleaned every time. So like by the 20th. Wear it. You need like one for every day. And you got to stay because they. They don't. Fat guys don't wear blazers. Well. What.

[H. Foley]

The other guys in the fucking bathroom.

[Kevin Ryan]

Nobody was in there. That was a fee. That was a ladies room. You look like an alien.

[H. Foley]

I'm Here to meet your president.

[Kevin Ryan]

The sleeves are a little short, though.

[H. Foley]

A little short.

[Kevin Ryan]

Functionality sleeves are a little short.

[H. Foley]

Yeah. Kevin's talking about Brunt Workwear.

[Kevin Ryan]

Shout out to Brunt workwear gang.

[H. Foley]

We're talking about Brunt Workwear. The best in the business. Founder Eric Goyard grew up a blue collar, started Brunt Workwear after his friends and tradesmen kept telling him that the big brands had stopped listening and, and didn't change for over 100 years.

[Kevin Ryan]

They didn't care about the little man.

[H. Foley]

They didn't care about the little man.

[Kevin Ryan]

They cared about corporate profits.

[H. Foley]

Because we know how things go. If you got comfort, you sacrifice style, okay? If you got style, you sacrifice durability. But not when you're wearing Brunt. They're the best work boots you're ever going to wear. Do yourself a favor and check them out.

[Kevin Ryan]

Yes, these are no doubt the most comfortable boots you're ever going to wear. The good thing is, if you've ever worked blue collar job, a construction job, trucking, whatever, you wear a pair of boots that we've done, you know, you put them on, they're stiffer than a three year old. Whatever the stain is, break them in. You got to break them in. Not with Brunt. They come, they're comfy right from jump street, and Brunt stands behind what they make. You can wear them to work, and if they're not the right fit, send them back. I don't know any other brand doing that. I'm telling you that right now, that's a company that stands behind their product. And right now, for a limited time, our listeners get $10 off at Brunt. When you use the code garbage at checkout, just head to bruntworkware.com use the code garbage and you'll be good to go. Brunt was tired of the workwear brands out there cutting corners. You work too hard to be stuck in uncomfortable boots that don't hold up. So they built something better. Boots that are insanely comfortable and built for any job site for a limited time. Like I said, our listeners get $10 off at Brunt when they use a code garbage at checkout. Just head to bruntworkwear.com user code garbage and you're good to go. And after you order, they're gonna ask you how you heard about Brunt. Do us a favor, Donna. Boy sent you down.

[H. Foley]

A boy sent you.

[Kevin Ryan]

Do it.

[H. Foley]

Kevin, about Shopify.

[Kevin Ryan]

Shopify, Shopify, Shopify.

[H. Foley]

Calling all our small business owners out there.

[Kevin Ryan]

And the side hu and the side hustlers.

[H. Foley]

Of course. Do yourself a favor. Use Shopify. Shop or Shopify's point of sale system is a unified command center for your retail business. It brings together in store and online operations across up to a thousand locations. That's a big operation right there. We use Shopify. You buy. You buy the merch on the road at the meet and greets at Shopify online.

[Kevin Ryan]

Shopify online.

[H. Foley]

Shopify didn't always use. That was kind of a nightmare.

[Kevin Ryan]

Bozo.

[H. Foley]

We got Shopify now. We're cooking, baby.

[Kevin Ryan]

Yeah. For a lot of people that are like, you know, we have a lot of people who make or craftsmen or whatever, make stuff and sell it at a, you know, whether you're at a flea market, at a trade fair, at a whatever, you can do it there, you can do it online. Everything talks and keeps it simpatico, baby. Acquiring new customers is very expensive. And the Shopify positive. You can keep shoppers coming back with personalized experience and first party data. That gives you marketing teams a competitive edge. You get all the info so you know who your customers are and how you can talk to them. That's important. If you're out there, you know that get all the big stuff for your small business. Right With Shopify. That's a great slogan. Sign up for the $1 per month trial and start selling today at shopify.com/garbage. Go to shopify.comgarbage one more time. Shopify.com/garbage. Not back to the show.

[H. Foley]

Back to the show.

[Kevin Ryan]

But now what would you have. What would you have taken the jacket knowingly one was gonna fit. Say that. So like there's, you know.

[H. Foley]

Yeah, of course. Just for the fun of it. I mean. Yeah, absolutely. Walked out with that too.

[Kevin Ryan]

I know. I was thinking about it if it would had a cool crest on it.

[H. Foley]

They got you though. Probably bang you out. 500 bucks for that thing.

[Kevin Ryan]

But I didn't think that happened anymore. That was like 1980.

[H. Foley]

Going to a nice place.

[Kevin Ryan]

I mean, nice place. The girls got the jersey on and I get that. It was at the bar. Come on though.

[H. Foley]

You could have went to the bar.

[Kevin Ryan]

Come on, come on. The bar, dude.

[H. Foley]

Yeah, listen, you're Baltimore. She's got a Ravens jersey on.

[Kevin Ryan]

You're allowed a football jersey in your establishment. And then tell me I have to wear a collar.

[H. Foley]

Football town. Go Birds. I'm with them on that.

[Kevin Ryan]

What? Yeah, listen, that's crazy, dude.

[H. Foley]

You show up with your on the run family with your fucking rented minivan parked outside. They knew you were fucking skitching out of Florida.

[Kevin Ryan]

Sure. But you gotta give me.

[H. Foley]

Probably hitchhiked there, dude.

[Kevin Ryan]

A jersey. I get that.

[H. Foley]

It's game on a lady.

[Kevin Ryan]

That's worse.

[H. Foley]

No, it's not sexy.

[Kevin Ryan]

It was not. She looks.

[H. Foley]

Maybe that is right, Lewis.

[Kevin Ryan]

She looked like a nose tackle. She was. She was sucking back Schlitz at the bar. Out of a can. Okay. Out of a can.

[H. Foley]

Place it out of her hand. No, but the guys. The cool guys next to you gave you the thumbs up.

[Kevin Ryan]

I think they were just realized I was in a bad spot and needed this. They over. They were also like, your son's very. The guy's like. Because he. At one point the baby threw his pacifier at their table. Hey. Like that. Not. It just went under one of their chairs and they got it. And the guy's like, I bring my two kids here all the time. They're screamers. This kid's actually really good. You know, he's. He's very. He's very well behaved. Or he's doing. He's doing well. Because I was like, I'm starting a.

[H. Foley]

Thumbs up from cool black dudes.

[Kevin Ryan]

Yeah. But I felt like. I felt like their son as well. I felt like. Here's four distinguished gentlemen all here on a Sunday night talking business. What portfolios.

[H. Foley]

What if they would have.

[Kevin Ryan]

I'm hearing a borrowed jacket with stains on it.

[H. Foley]

What if they would have picked up your check?

[Kevin Ryan]

They wouldn't have wanted to. It was expensive. It was expensive. You got the jacket.

[H. Foley]

But you fucking.

[Kevin Ryan]

Well, that's. Then I overcompensated.

[H. Foley]

Lucas Patoukas. Okay, pulling up the menu.

[Kevin Ryan]

All right, you want house made tater tots and caviar. What do you want? You want a rundown of what we did?

[H. Foley]

I think I could guess.

[Kevin Ryan]

Okay, go for it.

[H. Foley]

Appetizers wise, you could have done the sliders. Sometimes you'll go in for that steak tartar, but you get a little squirrely with it.

[Kevin Ryan]

I don't. She does. I don't. We didn't do an apple.

[H. Foley]

You didn't do an app. You just went entrees.

[Kevin Ryan]

Luke.

[H. Foley]

Next page.

[Kevin Ryan]

Oh, wait. I apologize. Go up. We did something. No, we did crab cocktail. We did a soup. I don't know where the soup is.

[H. Foley]

Shared a soup.

[Kevin Ryan]

Lobster bisque.

[H. Foley]

You're a dirt bag.

[Kevin Ryan]

What do you mean?

[H. Foley]

Butternut lobster bisque. That's too much.

[Kevin Ryan]

Yeah, if. I'm telling you, if I didn't overcomp. 22 bucks if I didn't overcompensate.

[H. Foley]

Getting a jacket before you got to a joint like this.

[Kevin Ryan]

If I didn't overcompensate on the order because I was embarrassed about the jacket. You're dead wrong guy. I went fucking, I'd like to purchase.

[H. Foley]

Your chandelier, please.

[Kevin Ryan]

Dude.

[H. Foley]

I went, are you taking investors at any point?

[Kevin Ryan]

It was embarrassing. My wife was embarrassed. My wife goes, ah, do you prefer the soup or the salad or whatever? And the guy's like, I like the salad. I go, we're doing both. We're getting. I was so obtuse. I. It was. It was like my card got declined and I doubled it.

[H. Foley]

First time having a balsamic vinaigrette. A sir.

[Kevin Ryan]

Don't skip me on it. On. Don't skip me on a croutons either, man.

[H. Foley]

I've asked for extra croutons on a salad.

[Kevin Ryan]

You gotta look. Yeah, they knew I did. I just don't belong in those joints.

[H. Foley]

You don't?

[Kevin Ryan]

I just don't.

[H. Foley]

I mean, there were cards. You put that on?

[Kevin Ryan]

What?

[H. Foley]

How many cards did you put that on?

[Kevin Ryan]

Well, earlier in the day my debit card got declined, I think because I was travel. I was moving through so many states. Yeah. No, they shut me down. So that's what happens when they're. We got shut down at the Polo Outlet. You did. That's what I mean, that's. I guess once they steal a credit card, you end up at the Polo Outlet getting.

[H. Foley]

When you really think about it, two people and a baby look real suspicious. You really do.

[Kevin Ryan]

Yeah.

[H. Foley]

You're up to something.

[Kevin Ryan]

You're moving quick.

[H. Foley]

Yeah. You're on a no jacket.

[Kevin Ryan]

Yeah.

[H. Foley]

Yeah. Can you say that we were here since 5 o'.

[Kevin Ryan]

Clock. I make some calls behind the desk, calling people.

[H. Foley]

Remember?

[Kevin Ryan]

You'll remember me. Right. I got a facial. Remember? Nice guy came in, didn't have a jacket.

[H. Foley]

I need a landline and a laminate machine.

[Kevin Ryan]

Guys have a Xerox machine here. Can you put this with your outgoing mail, please? Yeah, it was.

[H. Foley]

The Jordans were.

[Kevin Ryan]

Okay, listen, there was a guy in a hoodie behind me. Balenciaga hoodie might have been knocked off, I don't know. But that's like you're in a hoodie. Listen, I'm. I'm aware I didn't roll up in a fucking shorts and a tank top. I looked nice. I had her fooled at the hostess stand until the shirt came off. Then all of a sudden there's these formalities of a collar, no collar.

[H. Foley]

Was the lady at the host stand?

[Kevin Ryan]

Yes, she's the hostess was the one that grabbed me.

[H. Foley]

So she, I think saw you Sat you and then hit you with that.

[Kevin Ryan]

Yeah.

[H. Foley]

Now I wonder if you would have, if you would have been like, I'm not wearing my jacket while I eat. I'll get soup on it.

[Kevin Ryan]

I just said, and I'm. That I'm going to order because I have the money. I'm financially sound.

[H. Foley]

Well, if you want to lose a customer that's going to order soup and salad, go right ahead. We were going to split a dessert.

[Kevin Ryan]

We didn't.

[H. Foley]

You didn't?

[Kevin Ryan]

No.

[H. Foley]

How many Manhattans did you have?

[Kevin Ryan]

I had one Kevin. And an ipa.

[H. Foley]

And an ipa. An India Pale Ale.

[Kevin Ryan]

It pairs well with the Wagyu tasting we did.

[H. Foley]

Is that what you did?

[Kevin Ryan]

Uh huh.

[H. Foley]

Jesus.

[Kevin Ryan]

Three ounces of all four of our exceptional Wagyu cuts. They did not like it when I asked it for. Well done.

[H. Foley]

Wait, wait, wait, wait. Yeah. What? I would blur that out when I.

[Kevin Ryan]

Tell you I was embarrassed. I had to over order. I was so embarrassed. I was so embarrassed.

[H. Foley]

Holy.

[Kevin Ryan]

Huh?

[H. Foley]

That Wagyu shit is. It's a fucking scam, people. It's not that good.

[Kevin Ryan]

It was good. Nadine had never had it.

[H. Foley]

Three ounces of steak, that's fucking criminal, man.

[Kevin Ryan]

No, it's 12 ounces.

[H. Foley]

Whatever.

[Kevin Ryan]

I mean that's significant. That's four times the difference. It's 12 ounces.

[H. Foley]

But giving somebody a three ounce steak, that's not a steak. That's a tidbit. It's a burnt end.

[Kevin Ryan]

It's sure. Which I do love. Give me the end of anything.

[H. Foley]

You know who's doing them now? Arby's. They're just doing cups of meat, man.

[Kevin Ryan]

We are, we are devolved.

[H. Foley]

You don't need a jacket in there going, there are no shoes on.

[Kevin Ryan]

Probably hire you. Yeah. Look at you, man.

[H. Foley]

Talk about that dichotomy of trash in class.

[Kevin Ryan]

Which like it was confident.

[H. Foley]

Were you starting to cut you off? How confident were you that the card was going to go through?

[Kevin Ryan]

I was a little rattled. I mean I put it on the credit card. That wasn't, I wasn't rolling the dice with the, with the put a guy, a guy across me got denied on a fucking, on a date. It was embarrassing. So this place stinks. People are getting denied left and right. You got, you got fucking Ray Lewis when the fuck at the bar. Like, listen, you can be hoity toity but you don't, you don't get fucking. Also a bunch of people are in there celebrating birthdays. Cake on the table. You're bring, you're bringing outside. Cake in on the table. And shit.

[H. Foley]

This guy's reaching. What do you mean you're reaching?

[Kevin Ryan]

You can't tell me you showed up.

[H. Foley]

Without a college shirt, Sir. Sure.

[Kevin Ryan]

Is there anyone find the. Does it. Is there anywhere on the website that says a collared shirt? Probably a pop up right away that I missed. I denied the cookies. Yeah. I don't belong in nice places. I get embarrassed. I don't have good clothes.

[H. Foley]

Thank God it fit ya.

[Kevin Ryan]

But like this would. This would be okay. But this would be significantly worse than how I look. I had a nice fitted T shirt on. Polo. Fitted polo T shirt.

[H. Foley]

All out of the outlet. Didn't you?

[Kevin Ryan]

Gotta get while the getting's good.

[H. Foley]

It's got a sticker on the back.

[Kevin Ryan]

We're turning in. House rules. The Ruxton dining policy. We aim to create a memorable and unparalleled dining experience at the Ruxton with our refined and elevated dining atmosphere. And we ask that you keep in mind our business casual dress code when dining with us. Please refrain from the following. Short or sleeveless T shirts and tank tops for gentlemen. I didn't have that hooded sweatshirt.

[H. Foley]

Short sleeve T shirt. It's the first one.

[Kevin Ryan]

I thought it was shorts. Yeah, sorry. Hooded sweatshirts. Guy behind me had a hoodie on it. Clothing that is offensive including but not limited to explicit language graphics. Exposed undergarments are overly revealing clothing. Sweatpants and joggers. Jackets are not required. However, for gentlemen with T shirts we are able to provide one if needed.

[H. Foley]

Children under 16 are not subject to dress policy.

[Kevin Ryan]

Guests are required to be 21 years of age unless accompanied by a supervisor.

[H. Foley]

Let me ask you this. How was the Griffin? Nothing on that. You gotta be kidding me. Dickhead.

[Kevin Ryan]

Didn't fully get it, if I'm being honest.

[H. Foley]

That's a Griffin.

[Kevin Ryan]

I get that. What did I eat him? What's the.

[H. Foley]

Yeah, dumbass.

[Kevin Ryan]

I mean why?

[H. Foley]

It's on the menu.

[Kevin Ryan]

Luke.

[H. Foley]

Got it.

[Kevin Ryan]

Yeah. Harry Potter. Huh? Harry Potter. That's what it's from? Hey. Dumbledore. Yeah, Dumbledore.

[H. Foley]

First of all, Harry Potter doesn't have claim to the Griffin. It's been around years before that popularized. Why? What? Gryffindor?

[Kevin Ryan]

No, there's a Griffin in Harry Potter. Huh?

[H. Foley]

I didn't see it. I read the book.

[Kevin Ryan]

And that's it. From the door corner. Nerd alert.

[H. Foley]

I got a new Star wars ship.

[Kevin Ryan]

By the way.

[H. Foley]

We're doing an unboxing. Hey. You're a fucking scumbag.

[Kevin Ryan]

What the fuck? I have to tell you, I can't believe you're on their side on this as a guy who doesn't own his shirt with a collar.

[H. Foley]

Not on the side of you fucking spending that money on that Wagyu tasting. Get a flight of beers or something, will you?

[Kevin Ryan]

We, we. We positioned it as. Did you share that? Yeah, along with a filet. What the fuck?

[H. Foley]

Fucking Gary Breco over here. Take it easy on the protein, buddy.

[Kevin Ryan]

We spun it as our Christmas present. Each other because we didn't do presents. So this was our also. I was real embarrassed I came up with that idea at the table.

[H. Foley]

We got to buy this joint.

[Kevin Ryan]

I. I had to. I had to fight.

[H. Foley]

Anybody heard.

[Kevin Ryan]

The guys behind me did. And dude, I'm the only guy. I sit down and I stand. She brings over a jacket, I stand up and I have to try the jacket on.

[H. Foley]

No, but I'm saying, not like anybody heard what you ordered.

[Kevin Ryan]

No, the staff. I wanted that to Rumble through.

[H. Foley]

He got the tasting menu.

[Kevin Ryan]

Yeah, he's got cash.

[H. Foley]

Fucking idiots out there spending his rent money.

[Kevin Ryan]

Yeah, I'm dumb. I don't.

[H. Foley]

He's feeding the baby.

[Kevin Ryan]

I don't belong in those situations.

[H. Foley]

Did you give the baby anything that you were eating?

[Kevin Ryan]

No.

[H. Foley]

No.

[Kevin Ryan]

Wasting Wagyu on his stupid ass. Be nuts.

[H. Foley]

Tell me about a college shirt on.

[Kevin Ryan]

Yeah. If I can eat a hot dog. He don't know.

[H. Foley]

I'm excited for when he starts eating.

[Kevin Ryan]

I bet you are. Take up or pick up, whatever. Yeah, whatever. He drops. You and Hans all. That's neither here nor there. We got a gosh darn family episode on our hands. Business at 2 4. As you know, when you join the old Patreon A, you can ask your garbage question and let's get into it. This one's from Sam 10, homie. Never had one. Read. Have you ever had a friend with a glass eye? My brother and I had one growing up. One time at a local wrestling match in Albertville, Alabama, we had some kids trying to pick a fight with us. Our boy took his eye out and said, you think you're tough? He took it. He took his eye out with his fingers and scared the kid shitless. That's a pro move. That is like. That's the end all be all move if you're a kid.

[H. Foley]

They really nailed those. The glass eyes.

[Kevin Ryan]

Yeah, until they. I mean, yeah. They're like not. I always thought are. They're not full. They're just like fronts.

[H. Foley]

Nuh.

[Kevin Ryan]

Yeah.

[H. Foley]

It's not a whole eye.

[Kevin Ryan]

My mom had a friend worked with a woman who became her friend and she had one. She lost it. I Think while we knew her, she passed away, but she lost it.

[H. Foley]

Who gets the eye?

[Kevin Ryan]

I don't know, but it's just like a little piece of like. Really? Huh, huh. That's what I remember. Yeah, I'd want a full one. I don't think it can like, pop in there, though.

[H. Foley]

Why not?

[Kevin Ryan]

I think like the. The physics of it. I don't know. I mean, have to be squishy. I don't know how. I don't know how it works. What do you got? Yeah, they're usually fronts or shells made of acrylic, not full spheres. They're custom fitted to like, fit over the orbital implant. So I guess like, that there's like a ball there to place over.

[H. Foley]

God love you, man.

[Kevin Ryan]

I would tell you the time they were kids, my uncle got in a fight down at the playground down at McVeigh. They'd all fight at the playground and he got rocked, I guess his eye was swollen. He went home and sneezed and his eye fell out. And my mom saw it. It was just hanging. Man, she is scarred for life. Shout out, Uncle Dan. He sneezed in the press. I guess he like, held his nose or something. The pressure popped it right out. Yikes.

[H. Foley]

Couldn't have clams for a while.

[Kevin Ryan]

Yikes. All right, let's see here.

[H. Foley]

This is gonna be real sad, but I saw that, okay? Cat got ran over by a car and his eyeballs popped out. It was so sad. I had to shoveled into a deep.

[Kevin Ryan]

Fryer a trash bag.

[H. Foley]

It was the saddest thing ever.

[Kevin Ryan]

Why'd you have to do it?

[H. Foley]

Cuz I was.

[Kevin Ryan]

I don't.

[H. Foley]

I was there. My uncle's like, get the shovel.

[Kevin Ryan]

Whose cat was it?

[H. Foley]

Just a neighborhood cat.

[Kevin Ryan]

You had. You're picking up neighborhood cats like that? It was laying in the street dead.

[H. Foley]

What am I going to do?

[Kevin Ryan]

Leave it there. What? No.

[H. Foley]

Threw it in the trash.

[Kevin Ryan]

A gentleman, okay?

[H. Foley]

Leave a poor little dead kitty sitting there. It's very sad.

[Kevin Ryan]

Okay, well, fucking sad. Corner by H. Foley. Anything else? Anybody have leukemia or something you want to talk about? Jesus Christ.

[H. Foley]

My best friend growing up.

[Kevin Ryan]

Okay, this one's for meatball 150. Are you garbage if you use metal utensils, but paper plates, man, that is. I remember trying to cut Eggo waffles one time and the syrup was going right through the plate onto the table. Fuck.

[H. Foley]

Paper plates suck, man.

[Kevin Ryan]

I remember being like, this just doesn't. Something feels so wrong to me. Yeah, because you got to like. Heavy. It's heavy. It flips the plate up. Yeah. That's brutal.

[H. Foley]

We're real big on those. That fake china stuff, the plastic. Yes.

[Kevin Ryan]

Is that reusable? How. What's. I mean, I know. I know people do, but, like, what is the. What is. I wonder, like, what the hell. They're. What the intended use is.

[H. Foley]

I think it's single use, but my mom washes them in the. In the sink. Shouldn't put them in the dishwasher. You have a mess on your hands. Melt those things down like a fucking GI Joe in the microwave.

[Kevin Ryan]

Sure. At that point, I think just go. I love a decent. Like a Dixie paper plate. I love it.

[H. Foley]

Only for a slice.

[Kevin Ryan]

You're what? I mean, that was 99% of what we used growing up.

[H. Foley]

I was gonna slice you today. I said, don't give me a plate. He's like, what? I'm like, yeah, just give it to me.

[Kevin Ryan]

That's fucking insane.

[H. Foley]

Why? That's why. Just wait. Throw the plate out.

[Kevin Ryan]

How's he gonna give it to you off the spatula?

[H. Foley]

You just handed it to me.

[Kevin Ryan]

With his hands. Yeah, yeah. That's not how it should be done.

[H. Foley]

He's touching it anyway. Putting it out of the oven. I'll give a shit. I'm gonna wait to plate. Waste a plate. Hey, when they give you a box for two slices, I love that. What I'm standing there. I got this whole thing. I got a big laptop.

[Kevin Ryan]

Yeah. Other. What do I mean?

[H. Foley]

Broadcasting my business.

[Kevin Ryan]

What else? You're putting it in your pocket.

[H. Foley]

Nobody get how many slices I'm eating.

[Kevin Ryan]

Or you're handled. Well, now they do because you're. They're just in your hand. You just have loose slices. Oh, I'm sorry.

[H. Foley]

How do I drink my soda? Excuse me.

[Kevin Ryan]

The box is awesome. It gives you so much more surface area.

[H. Foley]

You gotta put that away.

[Kevin Ryan]

What? Dude, what? The way you operate is bonkos.

[H. Foley]

Oh, yeah. I'd have a nice jacket if I went to Ruxton's, ordered the Griffin a medium rare. Leave the beak on there. Kevin's talking about chime, Chime, chime, chime, chime is changing the way people bank fee free and smarter banking built for you. Not like old school banks that charge you overdraft fees and monthly fees. I've been a victim of that a couple of times. We're talking about banking built for you. Not the 1 percenters out there, the hard working people of this country.

[Kevin Ryan]

Mm. We're talking boots on the ground, salt of the earth, blue collar people. Chime isn't just another banking app. They Unlock smarter banking for everyday people with products like MyPay giving you access up to $500 of your paycheck anytime and getting paid up to two days early with direct deposit. Some old banks still don't do this, which is crazy. Listen, everyone's been in a pinch. I'd be lying to say if I have it myself. Well documented. Sometimes you need 24 hours, sometimes you need 48 hours. You got something coming up. The car breaks down. You got a big vacation. You want to go to the strip club. Something you need a couple of bucks. Forget overdraft fees, minimum balance fees and monthly fees. Chime turns everyday spending into real rewards and progress. Progress bank fee free plus overdraft charge you can count on. Help you build credit history. Stress fee. Get paid when you say up to 500. Earn up to 3.5% APY on savings, which is eight times higher than traditional banks. Rated five star by USA Today. And customer serve for customer service. Real Humans 24.7Chime is not just smarter banking. It's the most rewarding way to bank. Join the millions who are already banking for free today. It just takes a few minutes to sign up. Head to chime.comgarbage that is chime.com garbage. Do it. Chime is a financial technology company, not a bank. Banking services A secured Chime Visa credit card and MyPay line of credit provided by the Bancor Bank NA or Stride Bank NA. MyPay eligibility requirements apply and credit limit ranges $20 to $500. Optional services and products may have fees or charges. See chime.com feesinfo advertised annual percentage yield with Chime+status APY's 1.00%. APY applies. No min balance required. Chime card on time. Payment history may have a positive impact on your credit score. Results may vary. See chime.com for details and applicable terms.

[H. Foley]

New year Same extra value meals at McDonald's. So now get two snack wraps plus fries and a medium soft drink for just $8 for a limited time only. Prices and participation may vary.

[Kevin Ryan]

Prices may be higher in Hawaii, Alaska and California. And for delivery. Yeah. No, I mean that's wild. I guarantee you that pizza guy has never, has never raw dogged a slice to a fat guy. That's wild.

[H. Foley]

I disagree with that.

[Kevin Ryan]

I'll take that bet. Easy money, isn't it? Super hot. Yeah. I mean, what's going on here? Dude's gotta go. Hey, they're not going back up there. We have a deck up there.

[H. Foley]

Once you start slamming the table, stop freaking out. It's probably what you were doing at the rucks and embarrassing everybody. Waiting on my salad and soup.

[Kevin Ryan]

We're splitting it.

[H. Foley]

Soup?

[Kevin Ryan]

Yeah, you split a soup. Same spoon, no double spoon. It's not worth our nice joint. The rucks thing gives you two spoons. The teddy rucks.

[H. Foley]

Soup spoon for cereal. I steal them all the time.

[Kevin Ryan]

Also, little one got one. He chewed on that.

[H. Foley]

What?

[Kevin Ryan]

Chews on the spoon? Yeah. Teeth.

[H. Foley]

You gave him a metal spoon?

[Kevin Ryan]

I love it. I eat it up. That and a clean napkin, he's easy peasy. Yeah, throw it. Wave it in his face. He likes the air.

[H. Foley]

That's got chemicals and in it.

[Kevin Ryan]

What?

[H. Foley]

Those napkins, those. Those cloth napkins? Yeah. They got chemicals on them.

[Kevin Ryan]

What are we living in the 14? You don't think there's chemicals everywhere?

[H. Foley]

It's in the air, man.

[Kevin Ryan]

Hey, can you give me my steak with no plate, please? I'll just raw dog it.

[H. Foley]

Not steak.

[Kevin Ryan]

Yeah, it's crazy. He just handed you a slice?

[H. Foley]

Yeah. I don't get like.

[Kevin Ryan]

He was handing me a newspaper.

[H. Foley]

I don't get them too hot. My favorite thing to hear is they're warm. You good with that? Yes, I am. Yes, I am.

[Kevin Ryan]

I always have them pull. Hey, you can pull. You can pull. They hate New York. They keep them. There's this one. Fuck. There's this one guy in my joint. He keeps them in there till they're nuclear. It's fucking wild, dude. Yo. And then the crust dries out. I ain't got good crust. Then it's all like, you know, it's like charm with Buddy. It's the same guy. Yo, hold m. Johns.

[H. Foley]

I do have a theory that I've been working on. I don't want to say it publicly yet because I don't have all the kinks ironed out. However, I think moving forward, the move is you get.

[Kevin Ryan]

So going to not be the move. I don't know what it is. No plates, but it's so not the move.

[H. Foley]

You order a pizza, huh?

[Kevin Ryan]

No box, roll it up, put it in your backpack. Looks like a yoga mat.

[H. Foley]

Telescope.

[Kevin Ryan]

You order a pizza for pickup. Delivery. What do we do?

[H. Foley]

Delivery.

[Kevin Ryan]

I don't get delivery. And I don't get pizza delivered in New York.

[H. Foley]

Oh, aren't you a fancy pants?

[Kevin Ryan]

I put my blazer on and my cumber bun and go get a slice without a plate.

[H. Foley]

Anyway. You order a pizza, throw the oven on. Throw the oven on. Pizza gets there. Right in there. Not in the box. Okay, Put it in the oven. All delivery. Pizza needs that second crisp doesn't matter.

[Kevin Ryan]

Before you eat it.

[H. Foley]

What the fuck? No, I'm gonna fucking eat it, throw it up and put it back in the oven. What are you, an idiot? The hell's the matter with you?

[Kevin Ryan]

I do this every time you. You put it in your own oven. Before you eat it or after you're done? Delivery pizza. Hold on. Hey, guy. Fuck your problem. Whose side are you on? Not mine. Not justice.

[H. Foley]

The Bruxtens.

[Kevin Ryan]

The Ruxtons got to you, didn't they?

[H. Foley]

Captain me. Called me up.

[Kevin Ryan]

Nice joint. You'd like it.

[H. Foley]

I would. I love a place like that.

[Kevin Ryan]

We should go.

[H. Foley]

I'm off the booze.

[Kevin Ryan]

Full suits.

[H. Foley]

I haven't eaten out.

[Kevin Ryan]

Yeah, just ordering pizza. I haven't eaten out. I just. I just.

[H. Foley]

A sit down restaurant without having a cocktail. It's like what the I want to be doing here? What are we doing? You know, what are we doing? Start drinking coffee with my dinner like an old schooler. Because I was watching It's a wonderful life over the break. That meal that he has.

[Kevin Ryan]

To be honest with you, it is not a wonderful life. Listen.

[H. Foley]

What.

[Kevin Ryan]

I love how regardless of whatever one says, listen, the other one says.

[H. Foley]

What annoyed him again.

[Kevin Ryan]

I'm saying I don't care what the temperature of the pizza is. If it's cold coming into the house, I'm eating it right away. And I get that for the secondary wave of za. You can put it in there to keep it warm, but I'm eating it. That's wild to me that you're gonna then finish it and then eat it. Yeah, that's crazy.

[H. Foley]

It's like when they hit it with the. With the thing, they brulee it. I need. I need my pizza bruleed. Get a crisp on there. You know what I'm talking about? Listen, I'll meet you halfway.

[Kevin Ryan]

Guess you're standing on your heirs. You need your pizza bruleed.

[H. Foley]

You.

[Kevin Ryan]

Yeah. You had a guy palm you a fucking slice of pizza.

[H. Foley]

Slice though, not too hot.

[Kevin Ryan]

Get a hand to hand like you're buying a dime bag.

[H. Foley]

It's not in Baltimore.

[Kevin Ryan]

All right. Looking around.

[H. Foley]

It's not that. It's when it gets in the box. God, these goddamn headphones.

[Kevin Ryan]

You stink.

[H. Foley]

God. Everybody says I'm. It's not easy looking this guy. Winter boogie. It's not about that sweatshirt has fat.

[Kevin Ryan]

8 year old written all over it. You need the matching sweatpants for that and a half a boner and you would, you would fit in the autistic kids class. It's crazy.

[H. Foley]

This thing's like a sticker. I don't know where I got it.

[Kevin Ryan]

That color, that color. Green is wild.

[H. Foley]

This is eagles green.

[Kevin Ryan]

There's a dip.

[H. Foley]

I mean, I got toothpaste on my shirt. That's why I got it on. Yeah. True classics though. It's fitting into the three X's.

[Kevin Ryan]

Yeah, Four X's.

[H. Foley]

Hey, can I fucking finish my point here?

[Kevin Ryan]

Sure.

[H. Foley]

It's not about that. It's about what happens to the pizza in the box. It gets steamed up. I like a crisp crust. Okay. So this. And I said I meet you halfway. I'm not. I'm gonna have a slice. When it gets.

[Kevin Ryan]

You're a fucking lion sack.

[H. Foley]

No, I'm not. I'm gonna have a slice. But I'm saying to sit down.

[Kevin Ryan]

So the second wave. So you do eat a slice.

[H. Foley]

That's not. Listen, one slice ain't a wave. One slice ain't a wave. What?

[Kevin Ryan]

Listen, you're on my side here. That's a. Look. You yelled at me.

[H. Foley]

Look. That ain't a wave.

[Kevin Ryan]

You yelled at me. Of course, before I eat it. What am I going to spit it back up? You just yelled at me. Yeah.

[H. Foley]

Have you seen the show that one slice isn't a wave. A wave is when you sit down with your pizza.

[Kevin Ryan]

You're eating the pizza and then you're re heating your second. I get that. I get that. But you meet me halfway and say you're eating the pizza.

[H. Foley]

I said I was eating the pizza. That's as far as I'm going.

[Kevin Ryan]

So when do you turn it on? After you place the order.

[H. Foley]

Yeah. Get the oven hot and then right when it gets there, you take it.

[Kevin Ryan]

You're gonna sit for 15 minutes and let it crisp. Five.

[H. Foley]

It's five. You get it hot. Five. I said I have a slice. Why it's cooking. I got screamed at by my sister in law because we brought pizza over pizza over to the house and I brought it in and I threw it in.

[Kevin Ryan]

You got a full complete pie.

[H. Foley]

It was four of them. Four pies.

[Kevin Ryan]

You didn't dip into them at all?

[H. Foley]

No, not in the car.

[Kevin Ryan]

Oh, yeah, that'd be crazy.

[H. Foley]

I had Patty with me. She was all over me. I wanted one.

[Kevin Ryan]

I'm gonna sit in the back.

[H. Foley]

I'm in the trunk with it.

[Kevin Ryan]

I'm gonna.

[H. Foley]

She just sees me closing the seat in the back, going into the trunk.

[Kevin Ryan]

I'm gonna watch. I'm gonna make sure these pizzas don't.

[H. Foley]

That one's ruined.

[Kevin Ryan]

Oh, lost another one flew out the Window.

[H. Foley]

I remember discovering that the first time you saw a pizza that got fucked up in the car, you didn't know what to make of it. My dad, I couldn't figure out. I was like, how'd this happen, dude?

[Kevin Ryan]

We used to.

[H. Foley]

What the fuck? How did cheese get over there? Which I don't mind that sometimes my.

[Kevin Ryan]

Dad used to ye out. I think that's where my anxiety comes in. If we would have made it home from Angelo's and the Pete, the cheese would have been fucked up. Hell would have been to pay. Dude, you would have ruined. You would have think. I remember holding this pizza box with like a laser level speeds of sweat coming down, burning my thighs too. Burning my thigh. And I. You know that. You know what the precision that Nicholas Cage takes the fucking. The things out in the rock, the green beads. That's how I was holding that pizza, man. I walk into the Better hope it wasn't an icy night in Bucks county and slip and ruin the fucking.

[H. Foley]

You're going in back first.

[Kevin Ryan]

Hold the door.

[H. Foley]

The door.

[Kevin Ryan]

Yeah, that was. That was bit. That was. Yeah, yeah. They fucking make that pizza so goddamn hot.

[H. Foley]

But it gets steamy crisp.

[Kevin Ryan]

I understand that. I understand, 99. I would argue 100% of the pizza I consume in New York is by the slice at the place right downstairs. So it's like we're not ordering a pie. If she goes, gets pizza, I'll go, I'll do a vodka, I'll do a Sicilian. You'll do. You know, we'll get four different. Whatever.

[H. Foley]

And there's the perfect example. Nine times out of 10, that's a second heat pizza.

[Kevin Ryan]

I'm not against second heat pizza. I'm against. Which I was right that you're coming home just immediately throwing the pizza in and not eating it. That's what I was against. I'm all about a second heat.

[H. Foley]

Well, I was supposed to put the pizza in the oven to keep warm because they weren't ready for dinner. They were formal.

[Kevin Ryan]

Oh, right.

[H. Foley]

And I.

[Kevin Ryan]

Very formal. You're bringing four fucking pizzas. Not that formal.

[H. Foley]

I just grabbed a slice and walked into the living room and man, you would have thought. You would have thought I was holding the cat by its throat.

[Kevin Ryan]

And you want to go to the Ruxton? Yeah.

[H. Foley]

Had a jacket on.

[Kevin Ryan]

Wow.

[H. Foley]

I brought the pizza. I was starving. And blood sugar.

[Kevin Ryan]

When did you know you were taking that slice in the car?

[H. Foley]

What? The week before. What are you talking about? I would have had it in the car. I was getting screamed at. Plus we had two Strombolis and the peaches were on the bottom. Fuck me. Yeah. I can't. Piece of Stromboli.

[Kevin Ryan]

I got yelled at for pizza last night, too. Got home, I go, what are you doing for dinner? I was working, right? I work. I paid. I pay the bills, okay? Take that, Ruxton. She goes, there's some bread and soup. And I'm like, that's not.

[H. Foley]

No, seriously?

[Kevin Ryan]

Yeah. I go, okay, so do you want me to call Angelo's or do you want to call. Right.

[H. Foley]

Hello, police? There's a crazy woman in my house.

[Kevin Ryan]

That is. And here's the thing. This is. I think this is the difference between fat guys and Luke. I'll weigh in on your opinion here calorically. It's enough for a meal, right?

[H. Foley]

Yeah.

[Kevin Ryan]

It's just mentally and emotional.

[H. Foley]

Soup.

[Kevin Ryan]

She goes, I'll put some cheese on the bread. I go, cheese? We're gonna eat that while we're making the other food. Like that's not enough for me. And she goes, oh, there's some leftover pizza, too. I go, great. So I get home and there's. There's small. It was a small pizza. So, like, smaller slices, not like full slices, like the little guy.

[H. Foley]

I know what you mean. So artisan.

[Kevin Ryan]

No, not really. Just a small pizza regular. Za.

[H. Foley]

Yeah. Those are like the night like a brick fire.

[Kevin Ryan]

Like a Neapolitan. Yeah.

[H. Foley]

No, not personal. Those. Those brick oven pizzas. Those. Those are small slices. Those are little baby slices.

[Kevin Ryan]

Okay?

[H. Foley]

They're not.

[Kevin Ryan]

It is, but it wasn't. It was just a regular small pizza. It wasn't artisanal. Okay, Small pizza, regular.

[H. Foley]

What are you doing with that?

[Kevin Ryan]

What do you mean?

[H. Foley]

Why'd you have a small pizza in the house? I'm generally.

[Kevin Ryan]

You didn't know they made them in that size?

[H. Foley]

No, I just don't understand it because the name. Okay, let me rephrase that. What were you doing with a small pizza? Because let me tell you this. If something had happened and there was, like, a crime done, the cops, you'd be. You'd be staying overnight.

[Kevin Ryan]

Do you want.

[H. Foley]

You want a small pizza in the house?

[Kevin Ryan]

Do you want to know?

[H. Foley]

Huh? You want. You want to. You sure about that? You small pizza. You've never had a small pizza in your life.

[Kevin Ryan]

The wife likes them. This is what happened. We got home, no food in the house.

[H. Foley]

Huh?

[Kevin Ryan]

This is in the burbs, huh? I got to go pick up the dog from the shelter. Not shelter. What are they called that bar? Penitentiary? The whatever. Boarding. Yes. So I know at that point, I'm getting a cheesesteak and French fries from my local place.

[H. Foley]

Why? Under the radar? Or you're saying, hey, I'm going to. I'll grab something.

[Kevin Ryan]

This is what happened. She. We got home, she took the car food shopping, so. And she got. She went to Whole Foods, and she got something from the hot bar for her.

[H. Foley]

But why? She was food shopping.

[Kevin Ryan]

Yeah, but for dinner.

[H. Foley]

That's too long.

[Kevin Ryan]

For what.

[H. Foley]

My mom would hit me with that. We get back from somewhere, and she's like, I'm gonna go to the store. Go to the store. You're not gonna be back for, like, 45 minutes.

[Kevin Ryan]

That's crazy. What the fool be dead. I'm not gonna have the strength to unload the bags from the car, lady. I gotta eat. Dude.

[H. Foley]

Unloading groceries at night? What the. What are we isis?

[Kevin Ryan]

Huh? I remember unpacking my mom's Ford Taurus at night. Home. Coming home from the shore, which being just like, this.

[H. Foley]

Dude. Taking out groceries at night.

[Kevin Ryan]

Jesus. Who's looking for us? So I knew she had that, and her phone was dead.

[H. Foley]

Awesome.

[Kevin Ryan]

So I left to go get the car, and I went. I. I knew.

[H. Foley]

Plus, I let out some air in her tires. She'll be gone for a little while.

[Kevin Ryan]

So I knew she had the. I saw the hot bar, so I knew she had food for them. Mm. So I was like, all right, I'm gonna order from my local pizza establishment a cheesesteak and French fries, like I do. And then a lot of times if I'm doing that, she'll be like, oh, just get me. She likes to go get me a slice. And I go, you can't do slices and prepared food. It don't. It don't jive that.

[H. Foley]

They put it in a bag on a plate. It's a nightmare.

[Kevin Ryan]

I go with, just get a small pizza. It's the equivalent of like two, probably two and a half slice. Just get.

[H. Foley]

Works out for you.

[Kevin Ryan]

You know what I mean? Just get a pie.

[H. Foley]

Just get a pie.

[Kevin Ryan]

Small pie. It's not for me. I got my cheesesteak, small pie for her. And maybe the kid wants to slice.

[H. Foley]

Listen. Having a couple of slices in the fridge.

[Kevin Ryan]

So listen, hold on. So I go to text her, hey, I'm ordering. And then I go, oh, yeah, her phone's dead. So I. Nice husband, I am. I just get a small pie preemptively. Yeah. So I get mine. So that's what the slices were from. Because she didn't really eat it.

[H. Foley]

Okay.

[Kevin Ryan]

I had one with my cheesesteak I was hungry, so then there was four left over.

[H. Foley]

Smart man.

[Kevin Ryan]

So I got home last night. She's got this soup and bread idea that I don't know, and I just rolled with it. I wanted to fight against it, but. And then she goes, we also have the pizza. So I went, okay, great.

[H. Foley]

Are you voting for Tammany Soup and bread?

[Kevin Ryan]

Are you homeless all of a sudden? She goddamn shelter.

[H. Foley]

Hey, let me fill up my paperwork at Ellis island real quick, and then I'll gnaw on that.

[Kevin Ryan]

Well, she's real big on, like, repurposing multiple leftovers for, like, you know, oh, I made something out of nothing, and I ain't that guy. I need something to turn into something.

[H. Foley]

I've done that shit over. My mom, God love her, never did that. I've. I've got caught up in that shit over friends houses. She's staying for dinner, I stay for dinner, and then there's nine different things on the table. It's a wedding.

[Kevin Ryan]

Pancakes and meatballs. Hey, honey, call my mom and dominoes. We got a goddamn emergency. That.

[H. Foley]

A little Chinese food and some cereals.

[Kevin Ryan]

Eating frosted flakes with chopsticks. The out of here. What am I, a jerk off?

[H. Foley]

Didn't your dad work?

[Kevin Ryan]

I know we're in session, but God damn, guy, you got company coming over.

[H. Foley]

Hey. Confuse my stomach.

[Kevin Ryan]

I don't know. Go back to work or take a nap. Get ready for school here. So she goes, I got. We also. So I. She's telling me this idea, and I'm like, not all about it because I'm. I need the full overeating of the meal. I need the french fries and the steak cheesesteak, right?

[H. Foley]

But this is the next night.

[Kevin Ryan]

But I don't know. There's pizza. I forgot. She goes, we also have the pizza. I went out, cool. Then I'm good. Ollie, I'll have hers will be the appetizer and the pizza.

[H. Foley]

Soup.

[Kevin Ryan]

Yeah, a bowl of soup and fucking some bread and cheese. So I get home and she's. I. There's two slices in the fridge that I pull out, right? She's like, how was your day? I'm like, yeah, Foley was an asshole. You know what I mean? I'm fucking. I got the box. Box open.

[H. Foley]

Thank God you guys are okay.

[Kevin Ryan]

And she goes, I already got two slices in the oven. I don't want to wait for that. I got the box in my hand. Yeah. But then she goes, that's my lunch for tomorrow.

[H. Foley]

Ah, what the fuck?

[Kevin Ryan]

I said, the place a job I said, angelo's is right down the street. They deliver. So I had to wait until this. I just said, pull it now. I got all wise. Real. You know, when you're.

[H. Foley]

Yeah.

[Kevin Ryan]

Yes. Yeah.

[H. Foley]

Yes. I'll do that thing where I'll. If I'll order something, I'll get. You know, I'm juiced up. Like, I'll order something and then go right to the refrigerator.

[Kevin Ryan]

That was Flips. Flip's theory on why so many fights happen at McDonald's.

[H. Foley]

Oh, because.

[Kevin Ryan]

Yeah. Oh, because you're like. You're addicted to that. Yes. Food. And it's, like, right there and then.

[H. Foley]

Have you told me this before? Did I see this in a documentary?

[Kevin Ryan]

This is. This is. This is Flips, like, from, like, 15 years ago.

[H. Foley]

Because this is, like.

[Kevin Ryan]

I probably told you because it's all that sugar and cereal, and you're. You're fucking charged up. And then, like, your card gets declined, and they don't. They take the bag back like the Soup Nazi. And then you go. It's fucking.

[H. Foley]

You don't see that at Cruxton's.

[Kevin Ryan]

You almost did.

[H. Foley]

So you get there.

[Kevin Ryan]

Yeah, I was like, that's a great theory. That's Flip's theory.

[H. Foley]

By the way, I wanted to tell you this about the one thought of it with the air and the tires. So, you know, in the wintertime, the tires, the air leaks out a little bit.

[Kevin Ryan]

Leak out? It contracts. What?

[H. Foley]

Okay, thank you, Mr. Wizard.

[Kevin Ryan]

Why did you get mad at that?

[H. Foley]

I don't know. You face me, Mills, an asshole, front of everybody.

[Kevin Ryan]

You know how it leaks out? Well, one, it doesn't leak out. The molecules get smaller because when you start driving again, they warm up.

[H. Foley]

Can you let me slide on 1 or 2? Is it always got to be something?

[Kevin Ryan]

Okay, yeah. You know, I know how everybody's tires universally leaked or in the. Yeah, yeah.

[H. Foley]

Okay. I should have rephrased it. You know how the tires go lower in the winter for whatever reason? Right. You know I'm talking about.

[Kevin Ryan]

You just trash me for not having a jacket this whole time, and then you're scientifically wrong, and I call you out. I'm breaking your balls.

[H. Foley]

Yeah.

[Kevin Ryan]

Yeah. Okay.

[H. Foley]

All right.

[Kevin Ryan]

You really. You really call balls and strikes.

[H. Foley]

I took it personally, and I apologize.

[Kevin Ryan]

You call balls and strikes when it's beneficial for you.

[H. Foley]

You know, I got mad because I know that I'm stupid, and I know that's what it is. That's why I got mad.

[Kevin Ryan]

I didn't call you stupid.

[H. Foley]

I'm saying I'm stupid.

[Kevin Ryan]

I I will agree with that. Anyway, I'll agree with you on that.

[H. Foley]

That I'm stupid.

[Kevin Ryan]

I was right.

[H. Foley]

Anywho, that happened to me.

[Kevin Ryan]

The leaks.

[H. Foley]

Yeah, the contractions. WikiLeaks over here tell nobody nothing. I know what that was. Somebody rat it.

[Kevin Ryan]

I don't know. That and the Snowden thing, I missed completely. And everybody was talking about it. I don't know nothing. Is Snowden the same guy as WikiLeaks?

[H. Foley]

I don't know.

[Kevin Ryan]

That's. And who's Julian Assange?

[H. Foley]

That's WikiLeaks.

[Kevin Ryan]

Yeah. Listen, you're fucking nerds.

[H. Foley]

He was in like the Ecuadorian Embassy or something like that. Peeing in jars or some shit.

[Kevin Ryan]

Should have been running your fucking mouth, guy. I don't know what to tell you. Zip it.

[H. Foley]

Hey, you want to look at the files? Take a peek.

[Kevin Ryan]

Yeah, go along to get along, Daddy. O, no, thank you. I don't know nothing about all that.

[H. Foley]

Anyway, so my shit went low. I was home. Patty's car was in the thing because she was getting ready for like an inch of snow. So she takes my car, she comes back, she's like, your tires were low. I put air in it. I get in the car the next time. 40 fucking psi and tights. I'm like, what the. I got out of the car that was gonna blow up. 40. What do you.

[Kevin Ryan]

I'll go over.

[H. Foley]

A pebble of the car will explode. 40. Drag Race 36, you dumb broad. 36. That's the limit, huh?

[Kevin Ryan]

Jesus Christ. It's wild. Your mom's filling up her tires. I don't think Denise would know what to do. Denise would have to probably buy a new car. This one's ruined. He don't know nothing.

[H. Foley]

Daddy knows her, man. Oil change, the whole nine yards.

[Kevin Ryan]

Changes are oil. She's under there smoking, a heater pulls out. Hey, I need about three quarts of 10W.

[H. Foley]

God love her.

[Kevin Ryan]

All right, let's see here. This one. You'll probably miss this one. This is from Tuddy's Tight Leather Pants. Great name, Ten Dollar Homie. What is definitively trash here? Flavor of Love or Rock of Love? Now do you know those? Flavor of Love was Flavor Flav, Rock of Love, I believe, was Bret Michaels.

[H. Foley]

Talk about missing all the basketball I. When Kevin Hart was on that show. Basketball Husbands, the Real House Husbands. I didn't understand if that was real or if that was parody because I didn't understand Basketball Wives. I didn't understand Flavor of Love. What was Flavor of Love? What was Flavor Flav on before that. That everybody knew him from.

[Kevin Ryan]

He was on a reality TV show with Bridget Nielsen. I forget.

[H. Foley]

Was it like House Rules or.

[Kevin Ryan]

Yeah, it's kind of like the Surreal Life. Or as something like maybe it wasn't this real life. Find out what that was, Luke. Strange Love. Strained. That was Strange Love with him and Bridget.

[H. Foley]

That makes sense. She's real tall.

[Kevin Ryan]

No, but they. I thought they were on a show and they. Oh, dude. I used to tug my little room at her. She'd walk around in that leopard dress, like, oh, she'd be up Beverly Hills.

[H. Foley]

Cop 2 and Rocky 4. Man, I loved her. Loved girls with short blonde hair like that.

[Kevin Ryan]

Strange Love. The spin off was the Surreal Life.

[H. Foley]

Okay. Yeah, I was really so.

[Kevin Ryan]

No, they were on the Surreal Life, but Strange Love first, really. Was that them, too, though? Because they fell. They fell in love on the show.

[H. Foley]

Just remember them being in Italy and the Italian guys making fun of Flavor. Flavor, Which I didn't like. They were talking shit. They were talking shit in it. Dying to him, guys, a goddamn icon.

[Kevin Ryan]

But then it spun off, and then he had one. And then there was Flav. That was Flavor.

[H. Foley]

All of where he sat in the chair.

[Kevin Ryan]

That girl. Yeah, that girl. New York was on it. He was in love with a girl named New York. Then New York had. Yeah. Her own spin off.

[H. Foley]

I was really dipping in and out of life at that time. I really was.

[Kevin Ryan]

Sure.

[H. Foley]

Yeah, I was.

[Kevin Ryan]

You were right.

[H. Foley]

Doing my own thing.

[Kevin Ryan]

What? Surreal Life, then Strange Love. Yeah. Flavor was Invited to participate VH1 reality show the Surreal Life. During the show, he developed a relationship with singer and actress singer Bridget Nielsen. That's a fucking stretch.

[H. Foley]

I never heard of the Ear.

[Kevin Ryan]

After the conclusion of the surreal life, VH1. Flavor. Yeah. They had. They then had Strange Love, which detailed their globetrotting adventures in love. At the end of Strange Love, Nelson decided to return to her fiance, Matia Desi. Flavor Love then aired after that, because then it was like, let's fly. Let's find Flavor Flav love.

[H. Foley]

Kind of the precursor to the Bachelor.

[Kevin Ryan]

Sure. This all. That all might have been happening around the same. I mean, I don't know.

[H. Foley]

Everybody. My parents were watching that shit. Everybody was watching reality shows back.

[Kevin Ryan]

That was big dude. And he was like, perfect because so many people knew who he was already. It was so insane, too. He was crazy.

[H. Foley]

Yeah. And then it's like, Osborne's don't get enough credit too. Everybody.

[Kevin Ryan]

That was show. I. That. That took. That. That took. We were in junior high maybe, or high school by storm.

[H. Foley]

And it crazy.

[Kevin Ryan]

MTV's done 44 years.

[H. Foley]

That nuts. How do you that up? How do you that up? You could still have it. Just put a bunch. Just have it constant videos go old school. Just run it. Just fucking run it.

[Kevin Ryan]

I love that. Runs. Runs House. Oh, Runs House was great. He was pretty funny.

[H. Foley]

Yeah, they were fucked with trl. He started fucking showing half the fucking videos. I knew it was over then. How do you fuck up mtv? It's crazy.

[Kevin Ryan]

I knew it was over. I respected when they did it. Whatever the hip hop version of TRL was was like what we kind of like. We didn't like the pop. That was more like Britney Spears and whatever. But they had pop version. It wasn't Yo, MTV Raps. This was after that. It was like they. It was whatever. It was more the hip hop. So it was like Eminem, Jay Z, the Chronic, all that kind of Total Request Live. No, that's trl.

[H. Foley]

Bozo. Look at that over Times Square.

[Kevin Ryan]

Shut up. He's on Good morning America or something now. Carson Daly, he does well.

[H. Foley]

Does very well.

[Kevin Ryan]

Does the popcorn pop star. We, me and Nadine want it very well. I like him. He was like kind of a bit of a whatever. But once they. What? 106 in park? No.

[H. Foley]

Scared Straight.

[Kevin Ryan]

Which when that hit, I remember the one guy told him, you don't know about smoking weed. I'll smoke your ass, man. What are you in here for?

[H. Foley]

Sign me up.

[Kevin Ryan]

All right, let's see. Let's rip through a couple more cues here, please. All right, this one's from Brandino Brown. $10 Foley's bastard child here. Is it garbage if you're able to keep a hot tub through multiple divorces? My father in law has been rocking the same hot tub for 20 plus years and refuses to give it up. It's currently on the balcony of his girlfriend's condo.

[H. Foley]

Nice.

[Kevin Ryan]

That ain't lasting.

[H. Foley]

Bringing it with you.

[Kevin Ryan]

If you got to think about it, that's like the only constant for 20 years. That's probably like his fucking. He's like, if all else fails, I got this fucking hot tub. I can set it up and get some new trim, you know, Imagine fucking.

[H. Foley]

Moving in to your girlfriend's place. Oh yeah, I forgot the hot tub out in the truck.

[Kevin Ryan]

The hot tub, obviously, babe. I'm bringing a hot tub.

[H. Foley]

Who's gonna say no to that?

[Kevin Ryan]

I've never. I mean those things do not age well.

[H. Foley]

Hot tubs.

[Kevin Ryan]

The wood goes the fucking. They, you know, one bad season and that there ain't no coming back. From that.

[H. Foley]

Those new ones though, with the lid, they're nice as long as you got some steps to get in them. You know what I'm talking about with.

[Kevin Ryan]

The fold the lid that you can flip off.

[H. Foley]

Yes.

[Kevin Ryan]

I remember getting the. My stepdad had one when he's a bachelor. I thought getting that lid on and off. They expressed it like it was this. The weight of a train. Like if he got stuck under that, you know, and you got pinned under that thing. We weren't allowed to go near it. Watch the lid. Are you kidding?

[H. Foley]

That and the pool cover. They scared the out of the pool cover. That thing looks like it would come in your room and stab you.

[Kevin Ryan]

I know.

[H. Foley]

Then we were dangerous.

[Kevin Ryan]

We finally got the one where in the pictures they'd put a car or an elephant on that was remember because they. At one point they were just like the tarp. And you'd put the weights around them like of an in ground pool. It was just a tarp. And you'd fill up these tubes with hose water.

[H. Foley]

No, I mean. Yeah, I know.

[Kevin Ryan]

Yeah.

[H. Foley]

For the winter.

[Kevin Ryan]

For the winter. And that would be. That's what you kept it. So if you stepped on it, your. You're coming in.

[H. Foley]

I was referring to the solar cover.

[Kevin Ryan]

Oh.

[H. Foley]

Because you had an above ground pool. You had to put a cover on it when you weren't using it to heat it would heat it up. It was just bubbles.

[Kevin Ryan]

Yeah. Yeah. It was a bubble wrap.

[H. Foley]

Yeah. And from the lethal Weapon when the guy fell in that. You're dead. No way to get you out.

[Kevin Ryan]

The idea of like the fear that our parents instilled in us in like such.

[H. Foley]

I appreciate it to be dirt bat.

[Kevin Ryan]

I mean. Yeah, I get it. But like it's just such. There were so many things to them that like you could never. And you're like, what the. Just relax.

[H. Foley]

Yeah.

[Kevin Ryan]

You know what I mean?

[H. Foley]

But I appreciate. I think it kept me alive a lot, to be honest with you. I remember my friends jumping off my. My cousin's roof into the in ground pool. I was like, I ain't doing that.

[Kevin Ryan]

Well that I get if your parents are like. But like we were like. There was just such an adverse thing to like, you can't have a hot tub. It's like you can have a hot tub. You know what I mean? There were certain things that were just like, you gotta be care. You can't do like, you know, I count heaven. The lid to the hot tub was like a thing of like we were.

[H. Foley]

I'll kill you.

[Kevin Ryan]

And then like I'm telling my friends, like, you gotta be careful about the lid when I. Hot tub.

[H. Foley]

Getting in a. Getting into a refrigerator and it closed them behind you too.

[Kevin Ryan]

A walk in?

[H. Foley]

Yeah. No, not a walk in. Like a regular refrigerator. Yeah, like if they would, like. Because they. You had to start. You had to take the door off when you threw out a refrigerator back in the day. Because kids would go into them and suffocate and it. Clothes on a. Clothes on you. The racks were all taken out.

[Kevin Ryan]

Okay, that makes sense.

[H. Foley]

Yeah. You're hiding in there. Fucking. That old refrigerator smells. The last thing you smell suck. We found one baking soda.

[Kevin Ryan]

We were escaping. We took the doors off and we're skateboarding on it. And we took the. I remember we took the doors to Pat's house to skateboard on them and, like, set, you know, like, these are gonna. We're gonna keep these refrigerator doors at Pat's house and we're gonna skateboard on them and.

[H. Foley]

How do you skateboard on a refrigerator?

[Kevin Ryan]

Not. Well, it was a bad.

[H. Foley]

What were you doing?

[Kevin Ryan]

You, like, ollie up on it? Or you can like slide, like grind or whatever board slide on it. And we were like 10 or 12, you know, early in elementary. We're children. And we showed up at these doors and his dad was like, get these the fuck out of my house. What the fuck? You are not keeping someone else's fucking trash in the garage.

[H. Foley]

You know, I want to ask you about the hot tub. You ever see your old man making moves in there?

[Kevin Ryan]

Not like it was my stepdad's.

[H. Foley]

Oh, your step now. You ever see those two hopping in there while you were going off to bed?

[Kevin Ryan]

No, it was at his. It was at his townhouse, which I wanted to come like that when he moved in. I'm like, yo, bring that, because that's staying with the house. Fucking rat.

[H. Foley]

So you never saw, like. It wasn't like him and your mom hopping in that at like 9 o' clock at night when you were off to bed?

[Kevin Ryan]

No.

[H. Foley]

Okay.

[Kevin Ryan]

I assume. I assume they used it when I.

[H. Foley]

Was turning TV up real loud at.

[Kevin Ryan]

My dad's for the weekend. We only ever used it, like three times in 10 years, which it was like, what the fuck? Turn that thing on. The fuck are you bringing to the table here, guy?

[H. Foley]

I gotta soothe these muscles. Skateboarding on refrigerators all day.

[Kevin Ryan]

I've been carrying his refrigerator door around with me all. All over the goddamn neighborhood. I can soak my bones. I mean, it was. All right. This one's from nyc, Tony. Is it garbage? To hoard antibiotics and prescription for when you see the flu season coming up. So you can take them and take them before the doctor calls anything in. I did this. Now, I got amoxicillin sitting. I go, I'm holding that. Yeah, I'm holding it. Get on top of it.

[H. Foley]

It's garbage, but they give you such bullshit. None. Okay, first of all, none of that bullshit you're getting over the counter works. None of it fucking works.

[Kevin Ryan]

I got to push back. I think DayQuil can get you through the day. It can numb, it can get your head on your shoulders. It'll stop the fucking. The nasal, there's a little bit of methamphetamine in it to go, but it's not killing it. I know, but nothing really. I mean, amoxicillin only kills fucking bacterial. So it's. You know, you. At any point, you're really just managing the symptoms so you can recover. Mm. You ever fuck with the Zquil?

[H. Foley]

Yeah. What? Yeah. All right, tough guy. I wasn't saying like a tough guy.

[Kevin Ryan]

You didn't say it.

[H. Foley]

You didn't say like.

[Kevin Ryan]

Yeah, obviously.

[H. Foley]

Yeah. South end of an eight ball. Time to go. Night night. Yeah. Get the sledgehammer.

[Kevin Ryan]

Zquil? Yeah. Can't be that much, but I remember the best. The best hangover cure I ever heard was the guy. A kid woke up at like, 6am, had a split headache, took Tylenol PM, didn't realize. Knocked out for three more hours. Woke up, he's, like, completely fine. Chug the Gatorade, hit Tylenol pm, woke up, fucking bounced right out of bed. Woo, doggy. That's how you doing?

[H. Foley]

Yeah. The first time taking Tylenol pm, it was like a miracle.

[Kevin Ryan]

Yeah. You shut it down. We shut it close.

[H. Foley]

Forbidden it.

[Kevin Ryan]

Shut it the down. I love when just stuff like that works. That was a hard reset. And I forget about it for every couple years. Yeah. I forget about it for a while. Then you're like, oh, yeah, I can shut Cheat code.

[H. Foley]

A little time traveling.

[Kevin Ryan]

My brother rolls with a. Not narcotics, but, I mean, you need a Z pack. You need every. It just. He's got a guy on call, like a doctor, who's like, we'll call in kind of. Anything for him.

[H. Foley]

I haven't had an antibiotic in forever.

[Kevin Ryan]

I feel like I don't like taking them. I'm saving them for when I need them. That's them, too. I'm gonna. I got. I'm gonna need them.

[H. Foley]

These doctors say that.

[Kevin Ryan]

What?

[H. Foley]

It's gonna mess up your stomach.

[Kevin Ryan]

I have to give a. I don't think it's. First of all, it's not bullshit. You just don't give a fuck. Which is fair.

[H. Foley]

Thank you.

[Kevin Ryan]

But I think. I think the more you take them, the more you become resist. Like the less effect they have. And I don't need them much now. So I'm like. I'm gonna. I'm sure when I'm 60 or 70, I'm gonna be needing everything I can get, you know. So I'm saving it. That's probably flawed logic as well.

[H. Foley]

I took them so much when I was mine. That was my mom's answer to everything.

[Kevin Ryan]

I'll get you a Z pack. I felt every packs came around 10 years ago to me. I remember the one they. I remember those things. Hit.

[H. Foley]

Yeah.

[Kevin Ryan]

Hit. Don't with them. Fly straight Narrow dog.

[H. Foley]

My gastro guy gave them me one time. Years and years. And you go. Because when you have gerd, you're a hot guy. When you have gerd, sometimes you're. You get bacteria in your stomach. So he gave me a Z pack with Omarazoparel.

[Kevin Ryan]

Mm.

[H. Foley]

To kick things off. Yeah.

[Kevin Ryan]

A real fucking party animal over here.

[H. Foley]

Something like a pizza's eating up. Gang, we love you to death. Uh huh. Grab them tickets to come see the boys this spring and summer.

[Kevin Ryan]

Yes.

[H. Foley]

Right?

[Kevin Ryan]

Yeah. Why are you looking at me now? You don't know what the fuck guy.

[H. Foley]

You're taking me with you, right?

[Kevin Ryan]

Our deal still stands, right?

[H. Foley]

Kim, we love you. We'll see you next week.

[Kevin Ryan]

Peace.