Supermarket Edition w/ Kippy & Foley!

Summary

Podcast Summary: Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast
Episode: Supermarket Edition w/ Kippy & Foley!
Release Date: February 3, 2025

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Hosts: Kevin Ryan & H. Foley

In the "Supermarket Edition" of the Are You Garbage? podcast, comedians Kevin Ryan and H. Foley delve into their humorous and often chaotic experiences working in supermarkets. This episode is a mix of nostalgic anecdotes, playful banter, and witty observations about everyday supermarket life, all while maintaining the show's trademark comedic edge. Below is a detailed summary capturing the key discussions, insights, and memorable quotes from the episode.

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1. Introduction to Supermarket Shenanigans

The episode kicks off with Kevin and H. Foley reminiscing about their days working in supermarkets. They discuss the dynamics between cashiers, customers, and the unique challenges they faced on the job.

• Kevin Ryan [13:03]: "Supermarkets have been very definitive of this show. We each have very strong opinions on supermarkets."

2. Navigating Customer Interactions

The hosts share a plethora of funny and cringe-worthy customer interactions that highlight the unpredictable nature of working behind the checkout counter.

• H. Foley [15:17]: "Love it. That's a real dirtbag thing."
  Referring to a listener's story about witnessing mischievous behavior in a supermarket.

• Kevin Ryan [25:33]: "Just pay it in the short term. Double back. Keep the receipt."
  Advising on handling discrepancies at the checkout counter.

3. Tales from the Aisles

Kevin and H. Foley recount various stories from their time as cashiers, including dealing with malfunctioning self-checkouts, handling large orders, and managing personal relationships with coworkers.

• Kevin Ryan [37:03]: "That's a great. That's a great tale right there."
  Reacting to a listener's account of an awkward interaction with a coworker.

• H. Foley [46:37]: "That's how she leaves you with the card."
  Discussing a listener's experience with handling payment discrepancies involving checks.

4. The Dynamics of Supermarket Workspaces

The conversation shifts to the physical layout and operational aspects of supermarkets, such as the placement of deli counters, the security measures in place, and the overall environment that shapes the cashier experience.

• Kevin Ryan [54:29]: "I'm not an olive guy."
  Humorously debating preferences in the deli section.

• H. Foley [56:12]: "Cookie cracker and chip aisle."
  Suggesting improvements for product sampling in supermarkets.

5. Reflections on Personal Growth and Work Ethic

Beyond the humor, Kevin and H. Foley reflect on how their experiences in supermarkets influenced their work ethic, social interactions, and personal growth. They touch upon themes of responsibility, attention to detail, and customer service under pressure.

• Kevin Ryan [43:35]: "It's 4, 3, 2, 1, 1, 1, 1, one, one. I'll never get it."
  Highlighting the frustration of trying to remember PIN codes during checkout discrepancies.

• H. Foley [44:02]: "Live around here?"
  Questioning the effectiveness of security measures in supermarkets.

6. Humorous Observations and Skits

The hosts engage in playful exchanges, mimicking customer behaviors, and creating humorous scenarios that reflect the absurdities of supermarket life.

• Kevin Ryan [52:05]: "It don't matter. This guy don't even. Friggin kid."
  Mocking a customer's indifferent response to price discrepancies.

• H. Foley [59:12]: "If they had an open box, there."
  Imagining a scenario where supermarkets offer sample tastings for products like crackers and chips.

7. Notable Quotes and Moments

Throughout the episode, Kevin and H. Foley pepper their conversation with memorable quotes that encapsulate the comedic essence of their supermarket stories.

• Kevin Ryan [40:11]: "You do this one."
  Encouraging a hypothetical customer scenario while discussing checkout processes.

• H. Foley [43:33]: "Dad would never do that."
  Commenting on a listener's anecdote about parental negligence at the checkout.

8. Conclusion and Final Thoughts

As the episode winds down, Kevin and H. Foley reiterate their love for sharing these relatable and hilarious supermarket tales. They encourage listeners to engage with the podcast through tickets, subscriptions, and Patreon, setting the stage for future episodes centered around different themes.

• H. Foley [67:14]: "We love you today."
  Expressing gratitude to their audience.

• Kevin Ryan [67:31]: "Peace."
  Signing off with a casual farewell.

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Insights and Takeaways:

• Relatability: The episode taps into universal experiences of grocery shopping and working in retail, making it highly relatable to a broad audience.

• Humor in Mundanity: Kevin and H. Foley excel at transforming everyday supermarket experiences into comedic gold, highlighting the humor inherent in mundane tasks.

• Camaraderie: The chemistry between the hosts shines through, showcasing their ability to bounce off each other's jokes and stories seamlessly.

• Character Sketches: Through their anecdotes, the hosts paint vivid pictures of various supermarket archetypes, from the aggressive butcher to the oblivious manager.

Conclusion:

The "Supermarket Edition" of Are You Garbage? is a laughter-filled dive into the chaotic and humorous world of supermarket work. Kevin Ryan and H. Foley blend personal stories with sharp wit, offering listeners both entertainment and a touch of nostalgia. Whether reminiscing about past jobs or observing the quirks of modern supermarkets, this episode is a testament to finding humor in the everyday.

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Notable Quotes with Timestamps:

1. Kevin Ryan [13:03]:
   "Supermarkets have been very definitive of this show. We each have very strong opinions on supermarkets."

2. H. Foley [15:17]:
   "Love it. That's a real dirtbag thing."

3. Kevin Ryan [25:33]:
   "Just pay it in the short term. Double back. Keep the receipt."

4. Kevin Ryan [37:03]:
   "That's a great. That's a great tale right there."

5. H. Foley [46:37]:
   "That's how she leaves you with the card."

6. Kevin Ryan [54:29]:
   "I'm not an olive guy."

7. H. Foley [56:12]:
   "Cookie cracker and chip aisle."

8. Kevin Ryan [43:35]:
   "It's 4, 3, 2, 1, 1, 1, 1, one, one. I'll never get it."

9. H. Foley [44:02]:
   "Live around here?"

10. Kevin Ryan [52:05]:
    "It don't matter. This guy don't even. Friggin kid."

11. H. Foley [59:12]:
    "If they had an open box, there."

12. Kevin Ryan [40:11]:
    "You do this one."

13. H. Foley [43:33]:
    "Dad would never do that."

14. Kevin Ryan [67:31]:
    "Peace."

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Note: Advertisements and promotional segments have been omitted in compliance with the episode summary guidelines.

Transcript

[H. Foley]

Hey gang, if you haven't gotten your tickets for the back on the Block tour, do yourself a favor and grab them now because they're going fast.

[Kevin Ryan]

Yeah, we've already added a second show in Pontiac, Michigan. We got a low ticket alert in Indy, Madison, Minneapolis, Pittsburgh, Cleveland. Get them tickies now. We'll see you out there.

[H. Foley]

Are you garbage.com? welcome to another exciting edition of Are you garbage? The show where you find out if your favorite comedians are classy individuals or. Or absolute trash. Now here are your hosts, Kevin Ryan and H. Foley. Hey everybody out there. And welcome back to everybody's favorite podcast. This is R U Garbage. Hey. Yeet. It's that little show. We sit down with your favorite comedians and we find it at the group to be classy because they're just a big old piece of trash.

[Kevin Ryan]

Trash, trash, trash.

[H. Foley]

I'm your host, Hige Foley. Coming at you on a beautiful day. We're out back here with Tooties in the new edition. She's upstairs digging out an ingrown toenail.

[Kevin Ryan]

Okay?

[H. Foley]

He's got a hot date tonight.

[Kevin Ryan]

You're a lucky guy.

[H. Foley]

That's a Foley right there. Mike Coase is coming at you from across the table. He is the CEO of RU Garbage. He is an international businessman and my best pal in the whole wide world. Give it up for kj Kevin. James Ryan, everybody.

[Kevin Ryan]

What up, gang? Shout out to you. Thanks for tuning in as always. Please make sure you rate, view, subscribe on itunes. Full video available on YouTube and also now Spotify. Go over there, rate, review, comment, do the whole nine Spotify.

[H. Foley]

Spotify video.

[Kevin Ryan]

Our Spotify video. The boys are locked in. Then obviously the greatest website of all time. Pull out your phone, your desktop, your tablet, you go over to www.patreon.com. are you garbage? You get all that bonus content, gang, I'm talking to up to two bonus episodes a week. Hard feelings, Ayg. All the. You get episodes from four years ago till now.

[H. Foley]

That's like 10 plus family game night, which has been a big.

[Kevin Ryan]

It's been a very divisive. Divisive.

[H. Foley]

Follow the directions, you know. You know.

[Kevin Ryan]

Sure.

[H. Foley]

Good times.

[Kevin Ryan]

And also follow the rules. That's all I'm saying. We. Some of us decide to follow the rules, some of us don't. That's all I'm saying. The council was poke also. What?

[H. Foley]

The boys are back on the road. Tickets. Listen, this isn't a marketing ploy a little bit. Not really.

[Kevin Ryan]

I'm in the business of selling tickets.

[H. Foley]

Maybe a market or two act now.

[Kevin Ryan]

Act now while supplies last. Act now. Act now. Nah. Tickets are going, moving. Tickets are moving show. Pontiac, Michigan sold out. Second show added there.

[H. Foley]

Nice.

[Kevin Ryan]

Everything else is slim picking. So get them while they last. And some of these markets where cities were doing during the week so we can't add a second show. So we're sticking and moving. So get them while they last.

[H. Foley]

I got damn work in the morning.

[Kevin Ryan]

Woo doggy. All tickets [e-mail].

[H. Foley]

There you go.

[Kevin Ryan]

Yeah.

[H. Foley]

Got the website. Everything still pretty good?

[Kevin Ryan]

We're doing pretty good. Doing all a $9 a month website cooking. Shout out to it. We know what we're doing. I get in there and start coding.

[H. Foley]

What is the server fee on that?

[Kevin Ryan]

I don't know.

[H. Foley]

Is it nine bucks? I don't know because I still have a mysite account.

[Kevin Ryan]

I don't even know what the. My site. My site is that where it's like email me at henryoley me or whatever that I never. I that's like Mac does that. I've never trusted that anybody would.

[H. Foley]

I never email anybody with a Mac address. When I first got my, my. When I got my first desk. My first and only computer back in.

[Kevin Ryan]

2006 as your first and only computer you've ever owned was that bit. That one, that, that at one point ran the company that ran the early stages of. Of the brain trust of Foley and Ryan Enterprise 2006.

[H. Foley]

Mac OS X.

[Kevin Ryan]

Bought it. Bought it in 2018.

[H. Foley]

17 inch. My dad bought it for me.

[Kevin Ryan]

Wait, okay, you were pushing 30 at that point.

[H. Foley]

Sure.

[Kevin Ryan]

That's like.

[H. Foley]

That was over 30.

[Kevin Ryan]

That was. You're gonna get your feet. You're. This is him helping you start your artistic.

[H. Foley]

Yeah.

[Kevin Ryan]

Your artistic venture.

[H. Foley]

He was the worst with computers and for him to be like, you gotta have a computer. What are you doing?

[Kevin Ryan]

How are we gonna email you guy?

[H. Foley]

You know, this is the guy who used to send emails all in caps because that was his style.

[Kevin Ryan]

Yeah.

[H. Foley]

That's who I was taking.

[Kevin Ryan]

Now you do all lower. You do all lowercase, which is somehow even more. More of a bitch move.

[H. Foley]

I don't dig it. It's all incursive.

[Kevin Ryan]

No punctuation or too much punctuation.

[H. Foley]

I'm all voice to text, voice to email voice.

[Kevin Ryan]

The rudest. I mean this is well, this is well died. It's the rudest thing I've ever seen in my life that you gotta get. You gotta get this guy a pair of headphones and a dialing wand because you're all over the map just intrusive in people's personal.

[H. Foley]

I got rid of my fucking. My ear pods because you said they were causing brain cancer. And I got the buddy, you could.

[Kevin Ryan]

Use a little bit of it. Maybe get the synapses firing on the right pages. It's God, dude, this guy stinks.

[H. Foley]

I need a shot of radiation over here.

[Kevin Ryan]

I was in a car with him yesterday. Oh, man, we spend way too much time together.

[H. Foley]

I thought we had a nice time.

[Kevin Ryan]

This guy asked if he could watch a 30 minute video on his phone yesterday while we were driving together. No headphones. He goes, you mind if I watch this now? I said, yeah, I mind if you watch it now.

[H. Foley]

Uber driver always says he's cool.

[Kevin Ryan]

Meanwhile he's doom scrutiny mid conversation. Look over. He's just playing like plane crash videos. You're like, dude, come on. I'm trying to stay engaged. I'm hungover.

[H. Foley]

We're not here to talk about my personality deficiency.

[Kevin Ryan]

Have you seen this Show? Are you 1. Do your physical ones? Sure.

[H. Foley]

Does this shirt fit? Not in the traditional sense that you're thinking, you know where the shirt's from.

[Kevin Ryan]

If I had to guess, a really fat Italian guy who may or may not be with us.

[H. Foley]

Irish guy. You don't remember this shirt?

[Kevin Ryan]

Why would I remember that shirt?

[H. Foley]

I got married in this shirt.

[Kevin Ryan]

Damn. It don't fit anymore. That was two weeks ago. It fits. It didn't. I mean, okay.

[H. Foley]

It just. When I sit it didn't. It What?

[Kevin Ryan]

Yeah, I mean, dude, that's a lot. You're wearing the shirt you wore to your wedding just casually throughout New York City.

[H. Foley]

I was thinking about that when I put it on this morning. What, am I supposed to just wear it once and like, what am I supposed to like, just hang it up and that was it? Why not get some. Some use out of it? Why is that crazy? I. It's not like I'm wearing a hat.

[Kevin Ryan]

I don't know anybody else that's ever done it. That's all I'm saying.

[H. Foley]

Most people get married in suits and tuxes and all. I wouldn't be walking around in a tuxedo. If I bought a tuxedo, there's a.

[Kevin Ryan]

Good chance I'd be sleeping in it. Yeah, I could untie that. Dude, I bow tie every day.

[H. Foley]

That cummerbunds a pain in the ass. I'd be cool to bring those back. Just daily cumberbunds, buddy.

[Kevin Ryan]

It's. It's. We got hard enough keeping you in jeans, let alone. Let alone fucking tuxedos, man.

[H. Foley]

You ever have A cummerbund on in your belly.

[Kevin Ryan]

I've never.

[H. Foley]

You never had to wear a cumberbund?

[Kevin Ryan]

Who do you think.

[H. Foley]

You didn't go to prom.

[Kevin Ryan]

We did.

[H. Foley]

That was a black tie affair.

[Kevin Ryan]

Those tuxes were out. Cumberbun.

[H. Foley]

Yeah.

[Kevin Ryan]

Nah, that's. I mean, that's like the 50s. We weren't doing that. Ours are just tuxes now. Are just like cumberbun.

[H. Foley]

And maybe a vest.

[Kevin Ryan]

We did vests.

[H. Foley]

Vests are all right, dude.

[Kevin Ryan]

Ah, man, I did some mean vest to school dances. No weddings.

[H. Foley]

Get the Mumford and Sons on the line here, huh?

[Kevin Ryan]

Dude, did I ever tell you my one buddy got married and I had to wear. So we did this thing where it was like. I don't know if it was, like, through men's warehouse or whatever, but you. Like, I think it was through men's warehouse. So, like, because people were all over the country. Like, the groomsmen were like, didn't all live locally. Typically, I think you're like, oh, if you all live in Philadelphia, hey, we're gonna meet up here Saturday morning, all get fitted for the suits, then go pick them up. And you're good. Yeah, I was up here. I'm like, dude, I didn't have the time and or resources to get down to get to Philadelphia for tux fitting. I didn't have the extra 40 bucks.

[H. Foley]

I assume you were nervous in the men's warehouse. When's this bill coming?

[Kevin Ryan]

I didn't do the men's warehouse. I did something else. So they were like, just send your measurements in. So I did my own measurements. I bought it. I bought, like, a tape met like. Like. I think I had my wife do it. Who was I. Who was my. Who was my. It was my bra. At the time. We weren't married. We were just dating.

[H. Foley]

So this says you're nine feet tall.

[Kevin Ryan]

Dude, those measurements came back whacked the fuck out. I look like Tracy McGrady on ESPN. Dude, it was bad. I was rolling them.

[H. Foley]

Listen, listen. Planet's gone off its access and we've lost half our gravity. These numbers cannot be right.

[Kevin Ryan]

That's a high inseam, pal.

[H. Foley]

One of them was PI. What?

[Kevin Ryan]

3.333. Repeating. Yeah, it was. I mean, I had to, like, ro. The. I had to roll the. The top down.

[H. Foley]

I was the pants.

[Kevin Ryan]

I didn't. And then I.

[H. Foley]

At the wedding.

[Kevin Ryan]

Yeah, I picked it up in Philly.

[H. Foley]

You sweatpanted them, rolled them down.

[Kevin Ryan]

I only. It was either that or tmac it. I had my brother. Well, no, that's what happened? I had my brother pick it up because I couldn't even get down there to pick it up. So I had my brother pick it up.

[H. Foley]

You're out there like white chocolate breaking.

[Kevin Ryan]

That's my nephew. Hot st. Sizzle. I'm out there doing skip to my. Lou moves stink. I had my brother pick it up and try it on for me.

[H. Foley]

What? You might as well had Cindy Crawford do it now.

[Kevin Ryan]

We were about this. I was skinny at the. I was skinny at the time.

[H. Foley]

Okay.

[Kevin Ryan]

Skinnier at the time.

[H. Foley]

Sure, sure.

[Kevin Ryan]

And I had him try it on. He was like, it's. I mean, but this is. He's picking up Friday, the wedding, Saturday morning, Men's Wearhouse. And he's like, it's not. There's nothing you can do. But it's not great. It's bad.

[H. Foley]

It's probably closed. A lot of ass at that wedding, huh?

[Kevin Ryan]

I think my parents were there. They were.

[H. Foley]

You're peeing with your pants all the way down.

[Kevin Ryan]

Can't get any fucking chicks out here. Shout out to Ryan Dunn all time. Great line.

[H. Foley]

Good stuff.

[Kevin Ryan]

Ah, yeah. Tough. Tough look. Tough liar. I mean, I don't. I don't do well in that. In those type of things. That's the last time I do my own measurements anyway.

[H. Foley]

It's a nice shirt. I like it.

[Kevin Ryan]

It's a very nice shirt.

[H. Foley]

It means a lot to me. I'm going to wear it.

[Kevin Ryan]

That's it. All right, hold on. They say you're gonna push back on this. You didn't put that on, thinking, this means a lot to me. You put this on going, this is all I got. If we're being completely honest. I know you don't lie to the good people out there. You're saying this now. It means a lot to me. You put it on because you thought it fit, and it's probably all you got. Yes or no?

[H. Foley]

Oh, you mean today or for the wedding Today? Because both would be true. Exactly. Exactly.

[Kevin Ryan]

This don't mean a lot to you?

[H. Foley]

I bought this at home.

[Kevin Ryan]

You just put Ian's T shirt on under it.

[H. Foley]

Shout out to B E with Jordan.

[Kevin Ryan]

Let me have that sign on the door. No more Ian's allowed.

[H. Foley]

That's pretty good.

[Kevin Ryan]

Nice shirt. But don't spin me this beautiful piece of clothing. Don't spin me the sentimental bullshit.

[H. Foley]

Well, it means a lot to me now.

[Kevin Ryan]

It means a lot to you. You still fit in it. All right, tough guy.

[H. Foley]

I can't remember what happened to the one that I was gonna wear.

[Kevin Ryan]

Didn't Fit?

[H. Foley]

No, it did. I don't know why. It didn't work or the pants didn't work. Oh, it didn't work with the pants. I couldn't wear the tan pants. I had to wear the dark pants. I had to get this. Either way don't fit.

[Kevin Ryan]

That looks like the lining of a, of a rich guy suit. If I'm being honest with you. That's like a rich guy would have on his jacket. And you're rocking it as his shirt inside. That's nice. Nice. You know what I mean? Maybe the pocket square to ties that.

[H. Foley]

That, that flavor for the inside of like a nice leather jacket.

[Kevin Ryan]

Yeah. Like you open it up and it's that. Oh, that's. Oh, that's nice.

[H. Foley]

That's when you know it's classic.

[Kevin Ryan]

Meanwhile you're rocking it and nice. It looks nice. Nice.

[H. Foley]

Do you remember some nice little dark.

[Kevin Ryan]

For a wedding though?

[H. Foley]

Sure. It looks like I blended in.

[Kevin Ryan]

Looks like you're selling blow. I mean, you bump into a guy wearing that shirt at a club, he's got yak. You know where I can. You party.

[H. Foley]

Your friends are Ronnie, right? You remember every once in a while when like your dad or somebody would get like a nice new coat, it would have like an extra lining in it that kind of zipped out.

[Kevin Ryan]

Sure.

[H. Foley]

Like a London fog. It would be like for like when it was a little bit colder, like.

[Kevin Ryan]

And then it was like a vest typically didn't have the sleeves on.

[H. Foley]

I used to try to pull that off.

[Kevin Ryan]

I used to try to pull the vest. I mean he's young, but I put a vest on it. This looks nice. Yeah, this is the end. It was like the other lining of it that my dad's London fog or Alfonny jacket or something like that. I told you Big Dan used to rock a leather trench coat with warm up pants and white Nikes. Like just. That would be his, his, you know, food shopping thing. He'd be at the Super Fresh when.

[H. Foley]

He was living with the ultimate warrior, sting.

[Kevin Ryan]

He comes down from the rafters of a Super Fresh. These are supposed to be 10 for 10.

[H. Foley]

Which, speaking of super Fresh.

[Kevin Ryan]

Sure.

[H. Foley]

That's what we're here to talk about.

[Kevin Ryan]

Supermarkets, kid.

[H. Foley]

Super Mac, which is very.

[Kevin Ryan]

Supermarkets have been very definitive of this show. We each have very strong opinions on supermarkets. Supermarkets are very. I mean it's one of the questions we ask every guest.

[H. Foley]

Yeah.

[Kevin Ryan]

Where did you food shop growing up? Where do you, where do you shop now? I think it's a great decider of trash and class and Economic landscape and it's just certain. It tells a lot by where you.

[H. Foley]

Food shop and a heart of America.

[Kevin Ryan]

Everybody's got a food shop.

[H. Foley]

It really is lot and lot of nostalgia which we've talked about many times before.

[Kevin Ryan]

Very much so very important.

[H. Foley]

The supermarket.

[Kevin Ryan]

And this is. This is per. This is what I wanted to. This is what. You know, it sounds corny and I mean obviously very corny, but like they are. I mean I worked at a supermarket for I don't know, four years, something like that. Started out as a bagger.

[H. Foley]

You talk about it like you were in Nam.

[Kevin Ryan]

It was a time. This was. This was. This was during the 10 for 10 melee. Things are getting. Things got. Heck, you try to work it at Acme on frickin. You know, Black Friday. I mean Thanksgiving. What I've been drinking. His shirt's disorienting me.

[H. Foley]

Don't look directly into it.

[Kevin Ryan]

I'm having flashbacks from Studio 54.

[H. Foley]

Any epileptics out there? Shade your eyes. You gotta get a look at this shirt through one of those fucking.

[Kevin Ryan]

Some what. What the undertaker would wear to a wedding. It's kind of dangerous and dark, but like he's trying to be festive.

[H. Foley]

A little mystery to it.

[Kevin Ryan]

Sure.

[H. Foley]

Plus it was around. Christmas is very Christmassy.

[Kevin Ryan]

No it's not.

[H. Foley]

Yes it is.

[Kevin Ryan]

That's Christmas.

[H. Foley]

These are kind of our Christmas colors. Are kind of our wedding colors.

[Kevin Ryan]

That's kind of a lot. You're really trying to. You're really trying to. It's kind of Christmas kind of our.

[H. Foley]

Wedding color design like this. It's a lot of different things.

[Kevin Ryan]

Walks in a lot of worlds, this design.

[H. Foley]

Anyhow, I hear to talk about my fashion again.

[Kevin Ryan]

Have you seen the show? This one. So we reached out to the. Shout out to the Patreon. We. We. It's supermarket themed. Right. And we. This I think sums up what supermarkets are. Right. Okay, so this is from. This is from Beardman tooth. $10 debit benefits recipient.

[H. Foley]

Love it.

[Kevin Ryan]

Is it garbage if the main hangout spots for all kids and teens in our town was the Safeway Shopping center experience? A lot of first up there. I love up there. That's a real dirtbag thing. Yeah, he's going up there. Saw my first pair of tits behind the market. Drank my first beer up there. Swiped my first bottle of Robitussin. And Robo tripped up there. Caught my first heater up there. Smooched my first bird. Saw my first fist fight. Smoked weed for the first time. Hell, I even got a job at the safeway and ended up getting my first hernia while working there.

[H. Foley]

That's full circle.

[Kevin Ryan]

That's God damn.

[H. Foley]

Was the whole series of the wonder years.

[Kevin Ryan]

That's everything. This guy saw tits before he kissed a girl. At least that's what he ordered. That's like if they are very. You know, for a lot of kids, if you grew up in the suburbs, hanging out at a shopping center, skating, it's like that was kind of the.

[H. Foley]

Anchor to where you were hanging.

[Kevin Ryan]

Spend a lot of time around there. You know what I mean?

[H. Foley]

Yeah, especially the back out in the back.

[Kevin Ryan]

Man. I told.

[H. Foley]

We used to we about 10ft of asphalt like a little driveway. I love driving behind a shopping center like that. Cutting across it feels dangerous when you're doing it. But then it's got to have about 10ft of that. Then the woods. There's.

[Kevin Ryan]

Yeah, there's.

[H. Foley]

There's some sort of trailer or something back there.

[Kevin Ryan]

Yeah. A set of train tracks that don't run anymore. Man. We used to.

[H. Foley]

That's where life goes down.

[Kevin Ryan]

Skateboarding, we weren't that good at skaters but we would. You know, we'd end up at a shopping center of some good at dumpster diving. We were and just dude, I mean finding those big long fluorescent light bulbs, wailing on each other with them because that's what's in supermarkets. So there'd be like a box of 15 and man, as like a 12 year old kid finding that shit.

[H. Foley]

We never really got harassed back behind the. The little strip mall behind the Aloha and Joe's Pizza and all that stuff. There was never. There was never that went get out of here. I'm going to. We were cool.

[Kevin Ryan]

We were skating. So that was like very. Yeah, skate here. All the signs were saying no skateboarding around.

[H. Foley]

Anti skateboarding. They were in the. In the mid-90s and they hated it.

[Kevin Ryan]

Dude. It was like. It was.

[H. Foley]

Fuck. What were you guys doing smoking cigs and weed? Were you causing trouble? Were you breaking shit?

[Kevin Ryan]

Visually, you don't look great. You got the G at the long hair. You're hanging out with guys with long hair. You're smoking a cig. You're ha. You're loitering. Yeah, you're not. You're not contributing to the shopping center, Kevin.

[H. Foley]

Talk about DraftKings, baby.

[Kevin Ryan]

Go Birds, gang.

[H. Foley]

We're not talking about the Itty bitty Teeny Weeny Bowl. We're talking about Super Bowl 50. The Birds versus the Chief. Get your bets in now. And as you know, scoring touchdowns is the key to hoisting the Vince Lombardi Trophy and you have a shot to score big by betting them on DraftKings Sportsbook, the number one place to bet touchdowns. DraftKings customers can bet $5 to get $200 in bonus bets instantly.

[Kevin Ryan]

That ain't nothing to shake a stick at, baby. Download the DraftKings sportsbook app and use the code AYG. That's code AYG for new customers that get $200 in bonus bets instantly. Daddy O. When you bet just five bucks only on DraftKings sportsbooks, the crown is yours. If you got a gambling problem, call 1-800-GAMBLER in New York. Call 877-8-HOPENY or text hopeny, which is 467-369. If you're in Connecticut, help is available. For problem gambling, call 888-789-7777 or visit ccpg.org Please play responsibly on behalf of Boot Hill casino in Resort, Kansas. 21 plus. Age and eligibility varies by jurisdiction. Void. In Ontario, new customers only. Bonus bets expire 168 hours after ish after issuance. For additional terms of responsible gaming resources, see DKNG Co Audio. Do it. Yeah.

[H. Foley]

Let's talk about hello Fresh baby.

[Kevin Ryan]

Hello Fresh gang.

[H. Foley]

With hello Fresh, you can get farm fresh pre portioned ingredients and seasoned recipes delivered right to your doorstep. Skip the trips to the grocery store and count on HelloFresh to make home cooking easy and affordable. That's why they're America's number one meal kit.

[Kevin Ryan]

Yeah. Tired of figuring out what's for dinner night after night. Arguing with your spouse, your husband, your wife, your whatever, your kids. Shut them up. With HelloFresh, you get dinner done the easy way. Thanks to HelloFresh, it's easy to find time to eat well with 50 wholesome hassle free meals to choose from each week delivered right to your door. Hello Fresh's new Reed made meals go from the fridge to your fork in just three minutes, baby. That's cutting out the middle man. It's the same high quality ingredients and restaurant worthy flavor from that you would that you've grown to expect from hello Fresh with just none of the work. Listen, hello Fresh. Easy date night with the bird too if you shabby. Hey hello Fresh. You come. There's no arguing. Did you get this? Did you get that? It all shows up. Bada Bing. Everything's done right.

[H. Foley]

You feel like a real chef when you're cooking.

[Kevin Ryan]

Yeah, you're out. You're out the door, dawg. That's how they're doing it. Right now you get up to 10 free meals and a free high protein item for [e-mail] garbage10fm. One item per box with active subscription free meals applied as discount on first box. New subscribers only. Varies by plan. That's up to 10 free hello fresh meals. Just go to hellofresh.com garbage10fm. Do it.

[H. Foley]

I wasn't a skateboarder. By no means. I don't pretend to be. But I'll tell you what, I always had respect for those kids. And it really took a long time for society to appreciate that. Like, yeah, sure, look like dirt bags. You got a fat kid wearing fucking tuxedo pants with his arm in a cast, whatever. But you know, like Seinfeld, you buy me a lot of trial and error. You got to. You got to get back up.

[Kevin Ryan]

Success by repetitive failure crazy, which a lot of heat, which mean you know a lot about.

[H. Foley]

So you were more of a misunderstood kid. That's what it is.

[Kevin Ryan]

Sure. I was cruising. I was a good cruise. I wasn't good at tricks. I could. I could cruise with the best of them, though, also. I was a good. I was a good hang guy. I had a lot of laughs. Somebody fell, you know, whatever. You know what I mean? It's a good vibes guy. But. All right, let's see here. This one, this one's up for debate. And as a previous cashier, I have. Have some input on it. What is the minimum? This is from John. What is the minimum dollar amount you're willing to save in order to jam up the checkout line so the manager can get the coupon or go check a price, or there's gotta be a.

[H. Foley]

Number, a little bit of cash. No cash. Oh, okay.

[Kevin Ryan]

Like, your number. Is it like, hey, this was supposed to ring up for five. It's ringing up for 10. To me, I would say it's a fight. If it's. It's $5, I'd go. I would make a comment of like, this was ringing up as whatever. Also depends on how long the line is if the kid's in the weeds.

[H. Foley]

Yeah.

[Kevin Ryan]

You know what I mean? He's like, he's got 50 people that the line's halfway down the aisle. It's like the last thing he needs is, yeah. Someone running back to the meat section.

[H. Foley]

So this is. This is a hypothetical as an adult now. Like, this is now. Yeah.

[Kevin Ryan]

You're food shopping and something rings up. What is the dollar amount? Where you're like, buddy, that ain't right. I think anything. I think about $5. I'd go, Guy, I think if that's wrong, I'm willing to roll over. But that ain't right.

[H. Foley]

If the normal order of what we get, which we kind of get somewhat of the same shit, was like, let's say 100 bucks, and it came out and it was 400, then I would maybe say something 200.

[Kevin Ryan]

We are nuts.

[H. Foley]

Otherwise. It's real tough for a fat guy to start arguing balls and strikes.

[Kevin Ryan]

You're not wrong.

[H. Foley]

You know what I mean?

[Kevin Ryan]

My jujubes are marked out. Yeah.

[H. Foley]

I don't want somebody price checking.

[Kevin Ryan]

I can't be fat and cheap. You know what I mean?

[H. Foley]

I don't want someone price checking my cottage cheese or something like that.

[Kevin Ryan]

You work at a cafeteria, sir. You gotta fill the time with small talk. As they're running back to check the price. The hell do you need this many olives for?

[H. Foley]

But I respect it. I respect it. But, yeah, I would. It would. I'd say, yeah, 50 bucks, 100 bucks.

[Kevin Ryan]

Listen, I think the pro move from being on both side of this, the.

[H. Foley]

Pro move in my head, I'd have.

[Kevin Ryan]

To be like, what?

[H. Foley]

I'd have to have that react.

[Kevin Ryan]

What? Sure. I think the pro move is pay it. Whether you think it's. And people have done this with me, and this is where I learned it. You. They go, all right, let's just say it's ringing up. It's supposed to be $100. The whole order comes out to 120. And you go, nah, the fucking meatballs were supposed to be 20. You know, whatever. 20 instead of 40.

[H. Foley]

I don't have kids. I'm not a responsible. I'm terrible with money. I never really think about that shit or look at that stuff.

[Kevin Ryan]

I know, but I'm just saying, say you do. Say you're like, oh, I'm going to buy. It's one item. You're there to buy a fucking grill or something.

[H. Foley]

A grill?

[Kevin Ryan]

I don't know. Something.

[H. Foley]

I'm getting a grill.

[Kevin Ryan]

Something. Yeah. Huh? Shout out the seasonal section.

[H. Foley]

I gotta get.

[Kevin Ryan]

What.

[H. Foley]

What am I getting?

[Kevin Ryan]

I'll probably Weber. No, I don't think they sell Weber's there. I'm just saying you're buying something where you're like, oh, I'll buy this here. It's $99.

[H. Foley]

Okay?

[Kevin Ryan]

And then you get up there and it's $120. And you're like, that ain't right.

[H. Foley]

That's not tax.

[Kevin Ryan]

No, it just rings up as $120. It's $20 off why are you breaking my stones on this? What the fuck?

[H. Foley]

I want to talk to your manager.

[Kevin Ryan]

Guy's a comedian. You got a real tight imagination going here.

[H. Foley]

Why do you smell like cigarettes when you're working?

[Kevin Ryan]

By the way, I just took my 15 minute, which I don't have to clock out for. Shh. Don't say nothing.

[H. Foley]

You have Snickers bar to curry.

[Kevin Ryan]

That's not nougat.

[H. Foley]

Ah, you must have sucked.

[Kevin Ryan]

We're the same. Same green khaki pants. That were my dad's. Man, those things were.

[H. Foley]

If it was, I'd push you out of the way and take my goods home with me.

[Kevin Ryan]

Yes.

[H. Foley]

What are you gonna do, chase me down?

[Kevin Ryan]

What are you gonna do, run away?

[H. Foley]

I'll walk casually. I want the cameras going off.

[Kevin Ryan]

Take. Just pay it in the short term. Double back. Keep the receipt. Double back. Go check was I right or wrong. Okay, this is $100. It rung up as 120. Take a picture of it on your phone or whatever.

[H. Foley]

You going over to the customer service.

[Kevin Ryan]

Go over the customer service. You go, hey, listen, this was wrong. And they go, here you go. There you go.

[H. Foley]

I have bad memories of that customer service counter. You're not my mom. My mom only went.

[Kevin Ryan]

You're not going. You're going there for bad news.

[H. Foley]

Three reasons my mom went.

[Kevin Ryan]

Rain checks. She a rain check gal?

[H. Foley]

No, but she went there for heaters. They sell heaters behind that customer service pro tip.

[Kevin Ryan]

You could get them at the cashier. You go, this and a pack of Marlboro Lights. And then they call over. I used to do that all the time. They would call over and then bring you your Marlboro Lights, which is a. You feel. You feel like royalty. Someone's walking over hand delivering your heaters.

[H. Foley]

Let's take care of this in the back. What do you say? Get some champagne for you. Have you sit down. Getting heaters. Somebody was about to get screamed at or the worst. I remember her cashing a couple of checks there.

[Kevin Ryan]

Cashed all. I mean, when I worked there. You pick up your check.

[H. Foley]

Yeah, she didn't work there.

[Kevin Ryan]

You cash it right away.

[H. Foley]

She, I think wrote a check to herself and then cashed it there. Does that make sense?

[Kevin Ryan]

Yeah, they used to do that. I think they stopped in, like, the late 90s because a lot of people, you know, flipping hangers and stuff, so. Sending bad checks. Catch me if you can out this mofo.

[H. Foley]

Yeah. Carl Handratty.

[Kevin Ryan]

So then they. Only then I think they.

[H. Foley]

Her name's Patty Foley. She lives in Philadelphia.

[Kevin Ryan]

She's an old bag. She not. She's not some mastermind.

[H. Foley]

Let me ask you something, Patty. How did you pass the bar exam?

[Kevin Ryan]

I studied for it. She's catching a heater on a spirit flight back from Europe.

[H. Foley]

Some French prison.

[Kevin Ryan]

I studied for it.

[H. Foley]

Yeah. So I never, I always. Now I've never. I don't think as an adult walked up to that.

[Kevin Ryan]

Listen, and I get it.

[H. Foley]

I'm not telling trauma and fear.

[Kevin Ryan]

I'm not telling you two. I'm telling the listener. If you, if that guy, the kid don't. He's not setting the prices. The cashier has zero. They might be able. When I was doing it, I think it was. If it was under 99 cents, you could avoid it yourself. Anything over that, you got to have like. They don't have any power to do anything. So the person's got to come from the counter anyway and do it there. So just go, hey, I'm gonna get out of this kid's hair and go up there.

[H. Foley]

Bleached green hair.

[Kevin Ryan]

Sure. I did have some bleached hair at the time.

[H. Foley]

You know. You know what I seen the other day, they're really cutting back on the self checkout. Just trying to get rid of that. Didn't work. They don't like it.

[Kevin Ryan]

Well, a lot of people are. A lot of people stealing, but they know that and they save that money on paying the. The worker. I, you know, I don't know.

[H. Foley]

Something goes wrong, you need somebody to come over anyway, what's the fucking point?

[Kevin Ryan]

I know, but if you're buying two things, what's going wrong? I'm pro. I check out. Why the other guy? Why? The guys sit there and watch me with empty lines. No, like they're just waiting for their regular cash. Yeah. And I just walk right by them.

[H. Foley]

Oh really?

[Kevin Ryan]

Yeah. I don't. What's.

[H. Foley]

I like to say hi thing. Get the bag.

[Kevin Ryan]

If I'm buying like two things.

[H. Foley]

Hmm.

[Kevin Ryan]

You know what I mean? Typically Cheez, its in a Diet Coke. I don't need this guy all up in my business. You know what I mean? The grocery store, where else am I gonna buy it?

[H. Foley]

Why are you snagging a 20 ounce Pepsi?

[Kevin Ryan]

What?

[H. Foley]

The impulse cooler in the front.

[Kevin Ryan]

They don't carry bottles at my joint.

[H. Foley]

Yeah, they don't. You're. You're hard pressed to find a cold drink in a supermarket sometimes.

[Kevin Ryan]

No, scary. I double up on the cans. Stay real frosty. Maybe some diet Dr. P. If I'm feeling myself.

[H. Foley]

There's always something weird about the soda Aisle when it's not refrigerated. It takes me a minute.

[Kevin Ryan]

It's like going back to the 40s, dude. It's weird. Everything's darker than it should be.

[H. Foley]

Dr. Pepper's gonna go bad.

[Kevin Ryan]

What the hell's the date on this stuff?

[H. Foley]

This in the cooler.

[Kevin Ryan]

Nah, I agree with that. All right, let's see here. This one's from Benny B. Cups. Also, shockingly, lot of our Patreons have worked at supermarkets throughout their lifetime.

[H. Foley]

Love it.

[Kevin Ryan]

Which is like the. It really is like the lower class, like, stomping grounds.

[H. Foley]

You landscaped, you worked at a restaurant, you worked at a grocery store.

[Kevin Ryan]

That's like, what it. You weren't working at a bank. You were in. You know, they were the easiest to get the jobs. It's typically one person got the job. Hey, I'll got all their boys jobs.

[H. Foley]

Yeah, there was one or two. We had a place like that called Folkways, which was a retirement home that I guess they had. Must had a huge, like, dining hall because everybody I knew worked there. I got shot down for some reason. Lady didn't like the cut of my jib. Everybody I know worked there as a fucking busboy.

[Kevin Ryan]

Yeah.

[H. Foley]

And everybody got job.

[Kevin Ryan]

Sure.

[H. Foley]

All the hot chicks, all the fucking. Everybody worked there.

[Kevin Ryan]

Yeah.

[H. Foley]

Bulk ways.

[Kevin Ryan]

There was one of those in my neighborhood, too. I never worked there because I worked at the grocery store, but my boys did. And other people, man, they would talk about it because, like, girls from other schools would be there working there. And they talked about it like it was hedonism, you know what I mean? Like, I'm out there smoking a cig with Cheryl, and you're like, damn. Yeah. She's. We're talking Catholic school broadcast. Meanwhile, I'm bagging groceries.

[H. Foley]

Might as well be Tony Kitang.

[Kevin Ryan]

Yeah. I'm like, what the hell? I got no action over here. I'm catching heaters with cart Master Bob. Like, shout out to Carmaster Bob, by.

[H. Foley]

The way, live with his mom.

[Kevin Ryan]

He did. He did. He did. Carmaster Bob did live with his mom. He took the cart game way too serious. They offered him cashier a handful of times. He turned it down. He wasn't good with people, but he could talk to the carts. I tell you, he was the cart whisperer, this guy. He made his own tool. The claw wouldn't let me. Never let me use it, which I was quite upset about. But, man, fucking with that guy was all. Not fucking with, just talking to him. Be talking on for, like, three hours. And he would just tell you that He's. You mean he had a claw was like a piece of. Piece of string with, like, a hook that he made with, like a hanger so he could put that and run a rope to this piece of wood so he could control. Like. Typically, you could. You could drive like five carts yourself without someone steering the front.

[H. Foley]

Yeah.

[Kevin Ryan]

So. But he would hook. He had like a hook and ladder type thing he had working where he could do it himself, man. And he would tell you, I don't recommend you doing this by yourself.

[H. Foley]

That sounds like a fascinating summer you had there, buddy.

[Kevin Ryan]

Summer most of high school. They got fired, which I think was.

[H. Foley]

A setup, but I can.

[Kevin Ryan]

I think it was. I think it was an inside job. They accused him of doing some stuff there's no way Courtmaster Bob would ever have done.

[H. Foley]

It was all to get the patent on the claw. But to answer that question. Patty's my. You know my question. The one about what. How off does it have to be?

[Kevin Ryan]

Sure.

[H. Foley]

Patty Foley. 15 cents should be going.

[Kevin Ryan]

It's all. I get that.

[H. Foley]

And that's. As a kid. That's who I went to the grocery store with.

[Kevin Ryan]

Be weird if you're going someone else. I used to go with Father Bill. What are you talking about?

[H. Foley]

He wanted to know what I like for breakfast in the morning. You Wheaties, man?

[Kevin Ryan]

Yeah.

[H. Foley]

What? No, but you know that. That influences how you look at groceries 100%.

[Kevin Ryan]

100%. I.

[H. Foley]

Did you ever go to the grocery store with your father? Did your father?

[Kevin Ryan]

Yeah. Super. He loved going to the Super. Oh, he lived by himself. I mean, he was a single parent. He had to.

[H. Foley]

A lot of pickles and canned tuna.

[Kevin Ryan]

Lot of kosher pickles. We'd get it Perance Deli. Yeah. No, he loved going to Super. He didn't like stocking up or he liked. Hey. We were at the Super Fresh a lot. He picked me up after school at my mom's. We got stopped by Super. We're always stopping by Super Fresh to the bane of my existence. And then me and my brother would hang out in the car, end up fist fighting.

[H. Foley]

Sure, sure.

[Kevin Ryan]

If I come back and you two are fighting, I swear to. I'll put your head through the window. Which he did a couple of times.

[H. Foley]

That's a good time, man. A nice fight with your brother in a hot car in a supermarket.

[Kevin Ryan]

The worst was rainy. It was dark and rainy. You might as well. You might as well been in Nam, dude.

[H. Foley]

Dampen the screams a little bit. No one's going to hear you.

[Kevin Ryan]

I probably just shaken from the Zoom out.

[H. Foley]

Not as an adult, obviously. My dad got older and like if I would go to the, you know, like could go with them, just whatever, you know, and mill around. But as a kid, I was maybe in the grocery store once with my father. He never went. It was always my mom.

[Kevin Ryan]

I had never gone with my stepdad. I don't think my stepdad's ever been in a grocery store.

[H. Foley]

Sure. But then every once in a while my dad would go by himself and show up with the craziest shit you've ever seen.

[Kevin Ryan]

Yeah. Got a one leg turkey. Like, what the hell is it?

[H. Foley]

You work at a firehouse? Where the fuck. Sure my mom would be like, what is this shit?

[Kevin Ryan]

Mm, nah, I get that.

[H. Foley]

Canned sandwiches. Like, what?

[Kevin Ryan]

Yeah, they're good. Wet. What? That's a lot of juice.

[H. Foley]

Ah, it was real C rash and shit.

[Kevin Ryan]

Uh huh. This one's from Benny B. Cups. My first job was at a local supermarket bagging groceries and retrieving shopping carts. I was 17 and briefly dated my 21 year old co worker. How you doing? He said that she later dumped me for a guy in the meat department. But she bought me a bottle of Malibu. So shout out to her though, listen.

[H. Foley]

That was the summer of his life right there.

[Kevin Ryan]

Don't get any better than that.

[H. Foley]

17, 21 year old.

[Kevin Ryan]

Probably played it fast. She's working at the grocery store. She's playing it fast and loose.

[H. Foley]

Fucking the meat guy, the deli guy.

[Kevin Ryan]

Listen, the meat guy. Meat and deli guys were always. And a lot of my friends worked as the meat and deli guy. Shout out to my boy deli, we call him shout out to deli. He's a meat guy. They're bad or they're. They're at a rough point in their life.

[H. Foley]

They're like the cooks in a restaurant. Those are the bad boys, not the chefs.

[Kevin Ryan]

They're not the head coach. They're like, yes, they're the cook.

[H. Foley]

The bourdain's, the fucking. Yes, they're the guy working the fry.

[Kevin Ryan]

Because there was always a butcher. There was a Butcher who was 42 and he had trained to be a butcher and that was his job and it was a full time gig for him. And he had Benny's the other. Get the deli guy. Because they had to be 21, had.

[H. Foley]

To have a little personality too.

[Kevin Ryan]

I don't. They had to be 21 and be able to work nights. So it was like.

[H. Foley]

Your parents don't give a shit about you.

[Kevin Ryan]

Yeah, right. So it was like, yeah, or you had to be over 18 or 21 to work that with. To work with knives or the deli slicer. So we could never do it as kids getting jobs there. But my boy started working there probably when he's 20. And I mean, yeah, you're. You're not in Mensa, if that. You know what I mean? If you're working and shout out to you. But those dudes were bad dudes. Those dudes were like the cops coming and questioning people and stuff.

[H. Foley]

I always felt like the deli guys could beat me up. I don't know.

[Kevin Ryan]

They were bad, kid. They were bad dudes.

[H. Foley]

I go to the guys, the guys that work the deli at the grocery we go to now. I'm fucking. They're probably 15 years younger than me. I'm yes, sir or no, sir, sure. They fucking smash your head open, sure. And for some reason, you liked when they. When they like you, when they know you.

[Kevin Ryan]

Salt of the earth people. They're giving you their. Their approval.

[H. Foley]

I just got the one guy to be like, hey, man, good to see you again. Good to see me again.

[Kevin Ryan]

What time do you get off? You want a bottle of Malibu?

[H. Foley]

That's a great. That's a great tale right there.

[Kevin Ryan]

That's good. My buddy, he used to get there if he was working, like a longer shift, get there, had a crock pot, would take like the day, old stuff, get a stew going. Work all day and then at night he'd have, you know, him and like, the fucking seafood guys would get back there and probably get all smoked up in a parking lot in his gallant and then go back in and chow down on, you know what I mean? French dip or something they had going on, man. They always had that white jacket on and like two pairs of pants. Because they're working. They're working in the cold breeze, you know what I mean? They're back there in that cold meat room.

[H. Foley]

That smell of uncooked meat, too.

[Kevin Ryan]

You know what I don't like?

[H. Foley]

You're in a morgue.

[Kevin Ryan]

One of the ones I go to the. I go to in the burbs. Nice joint. The meat guy, he's back there. You see him in his little window, and you do this. Hey, you know, just like waiting. You're waiting. They have a phone that you pick up and it rings back there.

[H. Foley]

You call him.

[Kevin Ryan]

You don't have to call. You just pick it up and that phone rings in there. And then it. What? It's. I feel like I'm like calling in the new codes. I'm like, buddy, I'm just looking for a couple of beef patties.

[H. Foley]

Pick the phone.

[Kevin Ryan]

Gotta lift the phone. Then it rings back there and I'm like, he's closer to me and Luke. There's just like a window between us.

[H. Foley]

Oh, that phone's disgusting.

[Kevin Ryan]

I'm like, no, it's only. It's not like he's not.

[H. Foley]

But you have it like a wall, like a landline. You have to. You have to pick it up.

[Kevin Ryan]

It's like that phone. It's that. It's that red phone.

[H. Foley]

That's crazy.

[Kevin Ryan]

I know.

[H. Foley]

That seems out of time.

[Kevin Ryan]

I know. At first I'm like, oh, this is pretty cool. Now I'm like, I'm calling the fucking meat guy for fucking. To get me two fucking hamburger patties that I'm gonna burn and they're not gonna be good and I'm gonna get in a fight with my wife.

[H. Foley]

All right. Is John home? It's Kevin.

[Kevin Ryan]

I get three pounds of junk.

[H. Foley]

Yeah.

[Kevin Ryan]

Ah, yeah, that's. Shout out to the meat guys. They're doing a lord's work. Meat and deli guys, they're transients.

[H. Foley]

Your mom had three kids in the house. Two boys, two growing boys.

[Kevin Ryan]

Sure.

[H. Foley]

What was the usual highest amount of deli meat that you would get? It would be a pound, right? It would be pound of turkey, pound of turkey, pound of turkey, pound of cheese, half pound of cheese.

[Kevin Ryan]

No pound. Oh, cheese don't last. Pound of turkey, pound of cheese. Probably a half pound of ham. And then my stepdad would get his weird smelling shits that I didn't. I wasn't messing with stuff with eyeballs and stuff in. It fucking cooked, dude. It would cook the fridge for.

[H. Foley]

I just remember two weeks.

[Kevin Ryan]

Come home from. Come home from a week down ashore. Open up the fridge and it's like smoked something in there. Yikes. The eggs were bad. It would get through the shells.

[H. Foley]

Camp. Let's talk about Adam and Eve, baby.

[Kevin Ryan]

I'm hard right now, Gang.

[H. Foley]

Let's talk about getting weird, baby. Gang. Let's talk about Adam and Eve. Let's talk about Valentine's Day coming up. You got to get something special. Slamming your butthole. That's what the holidays are all about. Have a little fun in the bedroom. It's 20, 25.

[Kevin Ryan]

You, your partner, you, whatever, neighbor, anybody.

[H. Foley]

Do yourself a favor, have a little fun. Get over to Adam and Eve, get a little toy.

[Kevin Ryan]

Yeah, go to AdamAndEve.com garbage and pick any four sex toys for just 20 bucks. Listen, the good folks at Adam and Eve want you to have a good time. They ain't happy unless you come. How you doing? This is absolutely the best deal they've ever offered. And you deserve the best for Valentine's Day. Listen, a lot of you have been. You got kids, you got this, you got work. Let's all that subside. Go into the bedroom, close the door and knock a couple. Knock one out of the park. That's four toys for 20 bucks. That's something for everybody. Literally saving $175 up to $175 with this exclusive offer. Take a look at AdamandEve.com garbage to see what four sex toys will be yours for just 20 bucks. Go to AdamandEve.com garbage it's the only way to get this offer. One more thing at a time. Adamandeve.com Garbage do it.

[H. Foley]

Have you ever spotted McDonald's hot crispy.

[Kevin Ryan]

Fries right as they're being scooped into the carton?

[H. Foley]

And time just stands still. I just remember as a kid holding a pound of turkey, how big that was.

[Kevin Ryan]

A lot in my thinner days, I would go and get a pound of the buffalo blazing chicken and a pound of cheese and just sit in my kitchen and crush, roll up. I'd eat it all in the same day. Wouldn't shit for. For four or five days. But, man, I was trim, low carb. Kippy they called me. High in nitrates, though.

[H. Foley]

Living with Carl Cartman.

[Kevin Ryan]

All right, let's see. This one's from Roy Munson. You ever have a parent go grab something while you're in line by yourself? Ooh, baby. That anxiety that you're going to be on the hook for. Everything gets cooking, man. You. I don't know what. They said. They'd be right back. Like, you're. Like, they're gonna send you to jail.

[H. Foley]

We have that now. That literally just happened to me and the bird the other day. And when it's me, she'll fucking disappear for 45 minutes. I was gone three seconds. She's fucking popping out like she's almost done. God forbid.

[Kevin Ryan]

Mm.

[H. Foley]

Same goddamn credit card. But then you gotta. Then you fuck it up. You gotta go. Then you close that out. You got to go back for one more thing.

[Kevin Ryan]

I hate. It's just like, we'll get it next time. If we're not eating it tonight, we'll get it next time. And you've. I'm a big. I'm also nuts, ocd, high strung, whatever. Whatever you want to call me. That was your opportunity. You've lost your opportunity. You didn't get Everything you needed on the belt. You got to double back or you don't get it. You don't get to jam everybody up.

[H. Foley]

No, there was no. Yeah, obviously on like a Saturday or something. If it's. Yeah, yeah. No, of course. You got to sneak through. Sorry, I'm actually. I'm with you.

[Kevin Ryan]

I'm with him. You ain't sneaking nowhere. Those. Those New York City lines are tight.

[H. Foley]

But when your mom would disappear, I remember being like, is she ever coming back? Like, is. This is. This is how it is.

[Kevin Ryan]

This one guy, Xavier, said, ever actually have to pay for the groceries while your mom went to grab another item? She forgot I was about 8 and had to tell the cashier the PIN because I was too short to type it in.

[H. Foley]

That's how she leaves you with the card. That's pretty good.

[Kevin Ryan]

I'll give you.

[H. Foley]

Daddy would never do that.

[Kevin Ryan]

That's a dirt bag. But I respect it.

[H. Foley]

Give your little kid, don't tell anybody the code.

[Kevin Ryan]

1, 2, 3, 4.

[H. Foley]

Fake them out.

[Kevin Ryan]

It's 4, 3, 2, 1, 1, 1, 1, one, one. I'll never get it. That checkout line, though, as a kid was a. You know, like you said it now, it now shaped how you handle it now. They were high strung, high intense, you know, I remember my mom writing the checkout, telling that, you know, post it, you know, don't cash it till Friday.

[H. Foley]

Type thing, and watching my mom write out a check.

[Kevin Ryan]

There was seven. I remember as you had to go through. I remember. I remember going through cashier training like I was training to be. They were training like I was training to be in the CIA. Like, what are the seven things you need to check on a check to make sure it's like a. But I gonna stay. I don't know. There's seven things you have to go through, though. The line, the. This different kind. You're like, buddy, why am I the. Why am I the front line against check fraud here? Can we get a guy from the bank to come here, take a look at this with a magnifying glass?

[H. Foley]

Oh, shit. About that. Okay. Wow.

[Kevin Ryan]

Yeah. They were like, you cannot accept a fucking.

[H. Foley]

I couldn't tell you if a check was real or fake.

[Kevin Ryan]

Now, I worked at a lot of checks afterwards. I had a right. I worked in paying a lot of people's bills. So it's like, I know the. And like, accounts would get hit were for fraud, and you would see like the. But that's after years of, like writing 50 checks a day or whatever and, like managing bank accounts. But 16. I'm living in my fucking. I'm tugging my route in my fucking mom's house. And you know, I'm like, I got a big case, big fraud case going on down at the Acme.

[H. Foley]

Handling wire front.

[Kevin Ryan]

Yeah. It's like, what are we doing? Running through that. Running through the machine. It prints on the back.

[H. Foley]

I like the pen. Check the bill.

[Kevin Ryan]

What do you mean?

[H. Foley]

You know, the pen. You check the bill.

[Kevin Ryan]

Check the bill.

[H. Foley]

Check the hundred dollar bill.

[Kevin Ryan]

Ah, the marker. I never did that. You get me? You get me. What are we doing here? I'll figure this out.

[H. Foley]

Live around here?

[Kevin Ryan]

No, we would get a. Yeah, we would get. You know, you get people coming in with the ebt.

[H. Foley]

Roll it up and do a line with it. See if it feels right. Now this is fake bad luck.

[Kevin Ryan]

What was ours were the Pennsylvania was WIC cards was the food stamps. I think it was called Women in Women and Children in Need or something.

[H. Foley]

Was jammed up broads.

[Kevin Ryan]

Jammed up broad. But that one went to everybody. Wick I think was ended up for everybody. It started women in Women Infants and Children. Women Infants and Children.

[H. Foley]

That's cute.

[Kevin Ryan]

Yeah. They would come through and I did. They'd be trying to buy something that wasn't on it. And yeah, now I'm like, I'm too young to be telling his broad she can't get black olives or whatever. You know what I mean? Because they go. Notice they go to should be on. I'm like, I'm sorry, but it's not what.

[H. Foley]

There was only certain items.

[Kevin Ryan]

Certain items are qualify for. For. Yeah. I mean you can't just get food stamps and then just buy whatever the fuck. There's like. It's certain things like I don't think prepared foods are or something. Like, I forget I don't have all the rules. But not everything in the supermarket qualifies to be bought with food stamps.

[H. Foley]

Gotcha.

[Kevin Ryan]

There's certain. I'm sure each state's different. I'm sure like, you know, you'd be fucking handling that. Well then it. Because the computer. It would all be in the computer system. So I would ring up, let's say rice was but the orders.

[H. Foley]

Rice, shredded cheese, shredded cheese, fruit punch.

[Kevin Ryan]

Maybe sodas wearing or something like that. Because it's like. Sure. It's not like a necessity type thing. So let's. I'm making this up. Let's say sodas wearing. I'd ring it through and they go, hey, well you've run the WIC card. And I go, all right, well you now have a dollar balance of $14. And they're like, how? And I'm like, here's the receipt. Now I'm negotiating. Like, I'm like, this is. Can we get a caseworker in here to go over this? Yeah, lady, I don't give a fuck.

[H. Foley]

How sleepy from the pizza you had for lunch.

[Kevin Ryan]

Yeah. Meanwhile, I just crusted chicken parm down at Piccolo's. Shout out to Piccolos. That was big crushing heaters, man. That 15 minute break, they'd get a half hour break. And if you worked eight hours, you get a half hour and I think two 15s, or one 15. I would take that 15 strung out over today, though. Popping out for one. See? Cover me. Popping out.

[H. Foley]

Who would man your. Your post?

[Kevin Ryan]

What do you mean?

[H. Foley]

Because wouldn't they be. Would you have to call somebody to the front?

[Kevin Ryan]

You have to tell them, hey, can I so say it's like you close your lane. Yeah, close your lane. Or somebody might come tag you out and you. You check out and they check in. But if you're closing for 15, maybe the. Maybe the manager would cover for you. But if not, they'd open someone else up.

[H. Foley]

Be real dick about it too.

[Kevin Ryan]

Sure.

[H. Foley]

Yeah. All right, but hurry up.

[Kevin Ryan]

What age did you go out for heater breaks? Like 16. 16? Yeah.

[H. Foley]

How foreign is this to you?

[Kevin Ryan]

I remember this, man. I remember. This is. I was as a young kid and it was a woman, single parent, working there with us, Debbie or something. And man, she would sleep in her Cavalier every chance she got out in the parking lot and we'd be like, now I get it, you're fucking jammed up. You fucking. But as a 16 year old kid, you know what I mean? I'm like, I'm like this poor bra. I'm like, go home. Call off. Go get some. Eight hours, probably your second job. She'd come in at like. Sure, you know what I mean? Like, talk about fucking hustling to make it work.

[H. Foley]

But I remember being like dealing with your fat ass. Yeah.

[Kevin Ryan]

Me being like, can I take my break before you? You know what I mean?

[H. Foley]

Like, I got a party. Yeah.

[Kevin Ryan]

Me and my boys are like, you know, I'll get a six year. You get a six year old, me to, you know, meanwhile this broads fucking, you know, keeping up, keeping the lights on in the plate. Spin them.

[H. Foley]

Sure.

[Kevin Ryan]

All right. This one's from Slippin Jimmy. Y'all ever bought a lobster from that tank? Which they stopped, right, Due to like PETA stuff. Like, I think it's like animal cruelty. They stopped those tanks. But that made me think that question as a cashier. I never see nobody ever bought a lobster.

[H. Foley]

That was like adopting a teenager. Those things are in there forever.

[Kevin Ryan]

Yeah, I never knew anybody. I never saw anybody buy them. Bouncers still around? They're still around.

[H. Foley]

Lobster tanks at the grocery store. Yeah, they are. I think I'd seen one.

[Kevin Ryan]

I know this recently. I think they got rid of a lot of them though.

[H. Foley]

The diner that near me used to have one for a long restaurant's just.

[Kevin Ryan]

How you go in and go. I want that you go into like a.

[H. Foley]

A restaurant's different. That's. That's nice seafood joint. That's nice. Anything like that. My dad was always shifty about. So he'd go to like a Captain Chucky's type. He'd go to like.

[Kevin Ryan]

Sure. You go to a spend more specialty place to get that.

[H. Foley]

If you were gay, stop at the.

[Kevin Ryan]

Seafood store, be like, oh, they did that.

[H. Foley]

I remember full of candy going there. That place smells like loach Tide.

[Kevin Ryan]

Yeah. We would go to Not Rick's American Seafood or something was down on Route 1 in the Bull or Street road in the boulevard. American Seafood.

[H. Foley]

It'd be real busy around the holidays.

[Kevin Ryan]

They a crabs be eating crab in September like a bozo getting sick. And.

[H. Foley]

Right in the back seat. Right in the back seat of a.

[Kevin Ryan]

Car with that wooden basket next to it's leaking.

[H. Foley]

Waiting for one of those guys to make a move on the. You look over the top goes down real quick.

[Kevin Ryan]

It's like Toy Story. They're all plotting behind you.

[H. Foley]

You're the first one to get it. I didn't like that at all.

[Kevin Ryan]

I used to judge the people on the. I used to. All right, this is, this is like obviously like never really having money. Yeah, we, you know, people come through, some of these rich. It was in more of an affluent town for sure. Newtown, Pennsylvania.

[H. Foley]

What you talking about? The seafood joint?

[Kevin Ryan]

No, the Acme that I worked. Right.

[H. Foley]

Okay.

[Kevin Ryan]

It was that, you know, there was a higher end clientele.

[H. Foley]

I was seeing how like my friends with parents money shopped. It was nuts.

[Kevin Ryan]

When I come through and I'd be like 308 and like they would 380 bucks. They wouldn't even bat. Here hon, here's the card. And you're like. And I used to judge people if they did debit or credit. If they did debit. I go, Whoa, you got 280 bucks just sitting there? Just sitting in there like that. You don't need 30 days to figure this out. I Go debit or credit.

[H. Foley]

Are you selling this or.

[Kevin Ryan]

Sometimes. And I still. I've stolen the line. Now when they ask you, but I remember one guy hit me. I go, debit or credit? He goes, it don't matter. And I went, whoo. This guy don't even. Friggin kid.

[H. Foley]

Get a helicopter outside, mister.

[Kevin Ryan]

It don't matter. I'm like, it don't matter. Matter. Yeah, just like, whatever. Just coming through. He's just buying, like, cases of soda. And you're like, man, you probably got some fat ass kids I'd like to hang out with. You're probably gonna. You're gonna go home, they're gonna drop off all this food and then order pizza. Probably.

[H. Foley]

Those Sages are going right in the garage fridge.

[Kevin Ryan]

Huh? Just like. Just like a hot older woman, right? Not. Oh, I mean, she's probably my age at this point, you know? Yeah, late 30s, whatever. 40.

[H. Foley]

Sure.

[Kevin Ryan]

And you know, just like, really, you know, just nice clothes, good tan. She just came from the tanning salon or whatever, and just like, she's got, like, the fuck.

[H. Foley]

She ain't a rush.

[Kevin Ryan]

She's got, like a navigator key. When the keys are always, like, around the finger, like. Yeah, smells real good. Probably all right.

[H. Foley]

Not like the chip beef beef cologne.

[Kevin Ryan]

You'Re wearing up in my dad's old pants. Or like, hot girl's parents would come in. Hi, Mrs. So and so, you know. How you doing, Kathy?

[H. Foley]

Still not want to talk to me? All right. I don't know why you used to ever come over. She thinks I'm gross.

[Kevin Ryan]

You still see her around? Dude. Also, talk about how big of a dirt baby.

[H. Foley]

Hold on. You're asking the mom if you still see your daughter?

[Kevin Ryan]

She's asking me. I got a lie.

[H. Foley]

I thought you were asking the mom.

[Kevin Ryan]

Ever since you started hanging out with the cool kids.

[H. Foley]

Wait, that's what you would say. Fucking dork.

[Kevin Ryan]

Also, just, like, as big of a dirt bag as my crew was, one of us got a job at a supermarket. We were all like, that's the best thing I've ever heard, dude. Me, my boy, me and my boy. My two boys, Justin and Justin worked at the acme. Then 10ft away, there was a Gennardi's. And Pat and Flip and my boy James all worked there. So it was like, dude, we had the neighborhood on lock. We thought we were the fucking. Oh, my God.

[H. Foley]

I control black olives in this town.

[Kevin Ryan]

You get whop. Yeah, we argue. Like, I get. I get 9, 25 an hour. But you don't get Two breaks, which I'm not in a union. I would assume I was a teamster for a minute.

[H. Foley]

You're not a black olive guy, right?

[Kevin Ryan]

I'm not an olive guy.

[H. Foley]

Huh? You get him at the nice place at the table with the little olive.

[Kevin Ryan]

I don't touch them.

[H. Foley]

Really?

[Kevin Ryan]

Nah.

[H. Foley]

And you weren't eating black olives out of a can as a kid.

[Kevin Ryan]

I'm not doing that now.

[H. Foley]

I used to crush them. My dad would eat them like chips. He would just crack open a thing of that and put them in a bowl and just be popping them while watching tv.

[Kevin Ryan]

All right, let's see here. This one. This is from Taylor. Ten Dollar Home. He never had one read. I strongly feel that when it comes to the cookie cracker and chip aisles.

[H. Foley]

Hold on. Cookie cracker and chip aisle.

[Kevin Ryan]

You put yourself there.

[H. Foley]

I'm with you.

[Kevin Ryan]

That every supermarket should have taste testers for each one instead of buying a whole box and you end up hating it. I get that with the crackers. Chips, you should know.

[H. Foley]

What do you mean?

[Kevin Ryan]

I don't care what you don't understand.

[H. Foley]

You got your Toll House, you got your Ritz.

[Kevin Ryan]

Yeah.

[H. Foley]

Wheat Thins.

[Kevin Ryan]

But there's now 10 different versions of each one of those.

[H. Foley]

Yeah, you listen, you want to start getting into fucking garden tomato or something? I'm just saying, salsa this, that's your. That. You're on your own.

[Kevin Ryan]

No, you should have a tester where you could just pull it out. You got testers for everything else, all fragrance or whatever. Well, a tester box where you go.

[H. Foley]

I just pull this to their credit, if they're launching one of those things, say Wheat Thins has, you know, ranch Wheat Thins, low fat ranch Wheat Thins. They'll have them in a little thing up front and some broad tone. He had her over in the cookie cracker aisle.

[Kevin Ryan]

Mm.

[H. Foley]

It's a new flavor.

[Kevin Ryan]

I know, but I'm just saying you should. I mean, we're. This is. We're grown humans in a society. You should be able to walk by, pull one Triscuit, and go. Nah, that's not for me. I want to do this one. You're getting cheeses and meats. What? You know, what's the best. Goes with what you can see. You can sample the deli meat sliced in a slice. Yeah, I'm taking a cracker. I'm not there setting up a charcuterie board. I'm just taking it, you know?

[H. Foley]

Okay.

[Kevin Ryan]

If I've had it before, I'm not.

[H. Foley]

If they had an open box, there.

[Kevin Ryan]

Now it's got to be some sort of regulation on it, you know what I mean? Some sort of oversight. Somebody there? An old woman there?

[H. Foley]

Just an open box.

[Kevin Ryan]

Hey, hon, we just got these in. You might like it.

[H. Foley]

You think they're paying for that? Who they're taking away to register people. They're not fucking putting greeters in there.

[Kevin Ryan]

Hey, buddy, we don't own a grocery store that we're trying to hire, that we're trying to meet ends meet. I'm saying in a fantasy land we should have that.

[H. Foley]

I think maybe Wheat Thin also wouldn't.

[Kevin Ryan]

That you're worried about the payroll and the overhead expenses on that?

[H. Foley]

Sure. Keep an eye on it. I think Wheat Thin should supply that. They should have somebody from corporate.

[Kevin Ryan]

I don't give a fuck who pays for somebody.

[H. Foley]

Trust.

[Kevin Ryan]

That's a good idea. That's. There's no cooking involved. You just. And there's a thousand friggin things. Just go, give me one of them. Okay, Let me pop in there, wet my whistle a little bit. Also you're there with the broad. You know, you haven't eaten in a while.

[H. Foley]

You got a slice of cheese in the middle of that.

[Kevin Ryan]

I'm running back and forth between the deli and there.

[H. Foley]

This is a dumb question. You've made a cracker sandwich before, right? What's that like a cracker with cheese and a piece of meat in between two crackers. You've done this?

[Kevin Ryan]

I love it, I love it, I love it. It's. I mean, I could. I would exclusively. I feel so fancy when I stand in my kitchen counter and I do that. I feel fancy when I do it with peanut butter. I still do that and I top it. Oh, you gotta top it. You gotta put a lid on it.

[H. Foley]

I assume this wasn't you, but as a kid, a peanut butter and jelly in between two like Ritz or something like that, I would.

[Kevin Ryan]

I mean I would just do pure peanut butter. And I would take the gallon of milk out to the tv. I take every. All. All of the raw materials come out to the coffee table. I pull it into me real close. I set up and I probably make about five to start. I get excited while I'm making the five and I put a lid on them. Each one. I'm a goddamn job. Because if you don't. If you're doing just peanut butter and you don't put a lid on it sticks to the roof of your mouth. I need a barrier. So I get a good chew going. And then the amount of milk I Crush with that there. Then the peanut butter is getting on my fingers. It forms a film on the glass. There's floaters going and I'm all over the. It's. I'd never do that in front of company. I wouldn't do it in front of my wife. Dumb, rude.

[H. Foley]

But if you got like a little piece of sausage like that, like summer sausage or what, I go like a piece of cold kielbasa and like some fucking sharp cheddar cheese. A couple of Wheat thins, maybe a dab of Dijon.

[Kevin Ryan]

There's a great company like Delmonico del Still something. I could not wait.

[H. Foley]

That does the ready made board.

[Kevin Ryan]

Nah, that's whack shit. I don't get to control my cheese thickness and stuff like that. I don't like that. But I don't mind it. Trust me.

[H. Foley]

Sometimes it's wild when those things don't.

[Kevin Ryan]

Go crack one to one.

[H. Foley]

It's nuts. I got four crackers left over. The fuck am I doing it?

[Kevin Ryan]

Yeah, trust me. Don't get me started. I gotta tell you, don't get me started. I have a whole.

[H. Foley]

I'm out of pepperoni.

[Kevin Ryan]

As a guy. As a guy who loves cured meat carbs and has ocd. That thing's my nightmare board. Dude.

[H. Foley]

They throw in some craisins in there.

[Kevin Ryan]

There's. They. They make perfectly cut little things and they're like. It's like higher end. It feels they're like just sausages or little pieces of salami or whatever. Slightly size of a nickel. Like a quarter maybe. Man, you crack that bag open, you govern your cheese as you like and your crackers, oh, maybe top it with a piece of Hormel pepperoni. Ain't telling me. Not for a little spice. Salami and cheez, its go great together. Wow, Salami. I don't like doing that. I know one.

[H. Foley]

I'm surprised you're a salami guy.

[Kevin Ryan]

Surprised he's a cheesy guy.

[H. Foley]

Big sale. I was a big salami and cheese kid as a sandwich growing up and I would press it down and like, like, like.

[Kevin Ryan]

I don't shit that. I never liked that.

[H. Foley]

Roll it out.

[Kevin Ryan]

I never seen a kid. I remember seeing a kid's bologna sandwich and you couldn't even see the bread in the middle. It was like. It went bread salon or bread bologna. And I was just like, there's no bread. It's completely dissolved in the middle is crazy. I'm like, you're just gonna eat that and like not go home and yell at your mom? That's wild.

[H. Foley]

I like that. I was down. I respect that. Cheez its and salami.

[Kevin Ryan]

All right, let's see. Let's crush through a few more here. This was from Jenna. $10 hoagie. Is it garbage to watch your buddy huff two cans of whipped cream at a stop and shop and then immediately pass out in the aisle?

[H. Foley]

That's the guy who ain't worried about tasting crackers.

[Kevin Ryan]

That's from abroad. By the way, that girl's name was Jenna. Ah, listen.

[H. Foley]

You think there would be more of that?

[Kevin Ryan]

You as somebody who worked at a girl, you would, you would find empty people would. People would whack them. They find them in a bathroom, in the bathroom trash can and stuff. You would find them.

[H. Foley]

I'm surprised there's not a like, you know, like people storm in the cvs. They steal stuff. People storm in a liquor store, steal liquor. That is the. If you're an addict that is immediate. Get fucked up on the spot. Just run in there. It's going to take a couple of. As long as there's nobody stocking in there, they're putting the eggs away or something like that. If you got a clear dairy aisle, you could probably get down like five cans of that before someone comes in.

[Kevin Ryan]

I don't think you're shopping in bad enough neighborhoods. Those bad and those, those, those.

[H. Foley]

They're locked up.

[Kevin Ryan]

I know that we used to my.

[H. Foley]

Locking up the ready with not locked.

[Kevin Ryan]

Up but, but listen so you walk. I used to. We used to work at the shop right on Aramingo Avenue in Port Richmond, Kensington, whatever. It's right on the fucking line there. And that was. Dude their security in that place, people would rip that. They come in, they try to rip the toilets off the wall and shit and scrap them. Dude, the security in that place is like White House level security. They clock everybody coming in. They got like facial recognition. So I think as so in a neighbor if there's enough people who are need to walk in and do whip its. They got eyes on you.

[H. Foley]

Okay.

[Kevin Ryan]

They're clocking you. Sure. You go to a nice. Go to a nice suburb, you go in here and start cooking meth in the hint of in the cold and flu section if you want to but at those dicier ones I think they got.

[H. Foley]

Fair enough.

[Kevin Ryan]

They got muscle on you.

[H. Foley]

Fair enough.

[Kevin Ryan]

This one's the same rain. This is from Bogart. 10 bird fan. Never had one, right. Ever been arrested from the grocery store you worked at for public intoxication? Buddy had left me some moonshine in the walk in freezer and said, help yourself. Let's just say I was blacked out in an hour. And was found in the back sleeping. Mind you, I was 16. Buddy was like 25.

[H. Foley]

That's fucked up. They called the cops on you. Get arrested there?

[Kevin Ryan]

It's probably. If they probably called the. They probably called 911 to get an ambulance. The cops are showing up, won't wake up. You know what I mean? Cops, yeah. You know, I get that.

[H. Foley]

I was always. When shit got real. I remember a couple of kids being yanked out of high school. For being drunk or fucking doing dust off or something.

[Kevin Ryan]

Sure. One kid I've had about killing the vibe kid. Took 10 uppers and 10 downers to see if they'd cancel out. Never heard from them again.

[H. Foley]

Got a 1400 on this that afternoon.

[Kevin Ryan]

Could name every president forward and backward. All right, let's run screaming cold. $10 Coles cash. You ever put food from the hot bar in a clear produce bag. And weigh it as something else at the self checkout? Buffalo wings look a lot like Clementine's. But for a fraction of the price.

[H. Foley]

That's fucking nasty.

[Kevin Ryan]

That is dirt bag level. That's crazy, dude.

[H. Foley]

Hot bag of wings.

[Kevin Ryan]

I don't think I could eat.

[H. Foley]

Hey, that's thin plastic. That had to stretch from the heat a little bit.

[Kevin Ryan]

He said you got a double bag. He did say you have to double bag. But I mean, listen, I don't use those a lot.

[H. Foley]

And I get a look when I don't use them.

[Kevin Ryan]

What?

[H. Foley]

Like, I'll just put the three avocados on the. On the belt or the three limes on the belt or whatever.

[Kevin Ryan]

My white. I. To me, it's a you're. To me, it's like a European thing. I think they. They don't use them. And I think they look at it as wasteful Americans. Like you don't need. They feel we use too many bags. I feel we don't use enough bags.

[H. Foley]

To me, I like a good bag.

[Kevin Ryan]

Being honest with you.

[H. Foley]

I like a good. I like the shopping bag that you get when you leave.

[Kevin Ryan]

Big fan of all bags.

[H. Foley]

Yeah, not those.

[Kevin Ryan]

So I've gotten accustomed to just throwing it in the car. And I drives me, then you. Then you put it in the car.

[H. Foley]

If you're in a sitcom, you're going to a market.

[Kevin Ryan]

I know. You put it in the car. You take a hard left out of the parking lot. Next thing you know, all your apples all over the back seat. I'm a. I'm just sitting there like A jo.

[H. Foley]

It's a wild move with the wings.

[Kevin Ryan]

Yeah. That's not. I mean, hey, hats off to you. Do what you got to do.

[H. Foley]

Sure those aren't Spanish onions? I'm sorry.

[Kevin Ryan]

This one's from Tom. Are you garbage if you eat lunch in the dining area of the supermarket without shopping for groceries? My local store is Killer Wings for Cheap. And I'll go to dine in. I also respect that.

[H. Foley]

I don't hate it, man.

[Kevin Ryan]

I've done that.

[H. Foley]

I see people. We have. We have a little eating section next to the hot bar at the place we go to. I tell you what it looks like in the afternoon on a nice sunny day. Someone's just sitting down there having lunch. I love it. Like, man, I'd like to sit and join you guys. It's some weird toys scattered around as a.

[Kevin Ryan]

In New York. That I would. Whole Foods. Whole.

[H. Foley]

That's. Yeah.

[Kevin Ryan]

You're eating kind of. You're trying to stay relatively healthy and not go get pizza on a Cheap.

[H. Foley]

Too.

[Kevin Ryan]

Relative cheap. You go hit that hot bar and then you could just. Are you just.

[H. Foley]

I mean, I can't be hot. It's too nice. Whole food Foods now. It's got to be a regular.

[Kevin Ryan]

They're not nice anymore. Dude. That's. That's like a truck stop.

[H. Foley]

Yeah.

[Kevin Ryan]

Oh, it's. Homeless people are set up. It's like they're peeing in newspaper. You're. You're fighting for your life in there. Sometimes it ain't. It ain't great. It ain't great.

[H. Foley]

Some guy peeing at a high top.

[Kevin Ryan]

This one's just funny. This is from Stu. This one's from Stu. Go. And that's pretty good. Broke my foot in a food lion doing the Thriller dance and flip flops and some broad jumped on my back. Dude.

[H. Foley]

That's a good time. That was a summer night right there.

[Kevin Ryan]

Get that. You're having fun. You're a little zany. It's cool in there. That comes on because that's what they're playing. And you said you're going down that cracker aisle. Got one too many Ritz in you. Killing it. That's all right. Jesus. On Joey the Lips. Is it garbage if the butcher at the grocery store used to hit on your mom? I told you, those meat guys. Dude. You better. You got to keep them on a short lease. They're gonna get you. They gonna get you serving the meat.

[H. Foley]

How you doing, buddy?

[Kevin Ryan]

We gotta wrap it up though. Gang.

[H. Foley]

Gang. We love you today. What a fun one. Can I say that I'd love.

[Kevin Ryan]

And as a lot of the feedback, the first one we did was the Cops. This one supermarket, we're doing a little more comment. Whatever theme you want us to focus.

[H. Foley]

On, gang, we love you. Grab tickets to the live shows, check us out on Spotify, check out the Patreon and we will see you next week.

[Kevin Ryan]

Peace.