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H. Foley
Holy moly. New York City and the surrounding areas. Are you Garbage and friends is back. We're gonna be down there at the Comedy Cellar May 18 and June 15. You got two chances to see us, so come on out.
Kevin James Ryan
Yeah. Tickets available@areyourgarbage.com we got some of our favorite guests coming to play ayg with the crowd. It's a small venue, so get your tickets before they sell out. We'll see you there.
H. Foley
Hey, everybody out there and welcome back to everybody's favorite podcast. This is Ru Garbage.
Kevin James Ryan
Oh, yeah.
H. Foley
It's that little show. We sit down with your favorite comedians and we find out they get to be classy. They're just a big old piece of trash.
Kevin James Ryan
Trash, trash, trash.
H. Foley
I'm your host, H. Foley. Coming at you on a beautiful day. We're out back here with Tooties in the new edition. She says she's done with Chinese food.
Kevin James Ryan
Ok. That's it.
H. Foley
That's what she hit me with.
Kevin James Ryan
It's a political stance.
H. Foley
I said, yeah. I said you do you. I was like, has this got to do with anything? She's like, no, just not eating it.
Kevin James Ryan
Okay.
H. Foley
My coast is coming at you from across the table. So we call it a family episode. Just the boys, the bozos and the homies just to wherever you like it. Give it up for my best pal in the world, Kevin James Ryan.
Kevin James Ryan
Hey, what up, gang?
H. Foley
Shout out that.
Kevin James Ryan
Yeah, that's pretty good.
H. Foley
How about that?
Kevin James Ryan
I like it. As always, please make sure you rate view subscribe on itunes. Full video available on YouTube. Full video available over there on Spotify's Eye and obviously the greatest website of all time, www.patreon.com garbage. You go over there, you get all that bonus content. And not to mention, the boys are on the road, baby. Get your tickets. We got LA coming up this week. We got LA tickets. Some they may not be available. I don't know. You snooze, you lose, maybe. We got Portland, Maine. We got Atlantic City. We got Cleveland. We got Pittsburgh. We got. I think that might be it. Whatever. All tickets available at Are you garbage dot com.
H. Foley
I'm excited about that. Whole stretch right there. Lot of my favorite places. Yeah. Except for one.
Kevin James Ryan
La La Land.
H. Foley
Listen, if you're out there in la, I'm going to say we really need you out there. And I'll tell you why. Because the bug man needs backup out in la. I need you out there. I need you out there.
Kevin James Ryan
He don't want you out there. He need you out there. Gang bugman back in la.
H. Foley
God damn it. I always wanted to love la. And I love la.
Kevin James Ryan
It don't love you, though.
H. Foley
It doesn't.
Kevin James Ryan
It's a dirty bitch.
H. Foley
Tries to hurt me.
Kevin James Ryan
Not tries.
H. Foley
Oh, yeah.
Kevin James Ryan
Get you good.
H. Foley
Get me good.
Kevin James Ryan
Hit you right in the chops.
H. Foley
Beautiful place, nice restaurants, beautiful talented people. I love the scenery. I love the weather. I. I'm an LA guy.
Kevin James Ryan
No, you ain't. No, you ain't as. That place chewed you up, spit you out, turned twice, turned you out. I saw you hooking down there on Sunset.
H. Foley
Fuck, it really did turn me out there.
Kevin James Ryan
It turns you out. You went out the alley.
H. Foley
It kind of turns me on a little.
Kevin James Ryan
Yeah, go back. Yeah. Dirty little bitch, aren't I? He landed la.
H. Foley
Ramone picks me up at the airport.
Kevin James Ryan
Yippee. I'll see you later. What the fuck? I'm carrying all the bags like a
H. Foley
pimp gets thrown in the back.
Kevin James Ryan
Yeah. Yeah.
H. Foley
Louisiana's gonna be fun, man.
Kevin James Ryan
It'll be good.
H. Foley
About to be back out there, la LA land, no one leaves. Damn it.
Kevin James Ryan
Hotel California. And yeah, that is really you.
H. Foley
Dude, we've been out there like five.
Kevin James Ryan
Are you Don Henley?
H. Foley
No. No. Yeah, it's far from more of a Glenn Frey man. You're Don Henley playing the drums and singing.
Kevin James Ryan
He's got a voice of a generation.
H. Foley
Playing the drums and singing. Get out of here.
Kevin James Ryan
You got to be ultra talented to pull that out.
H. Foley
Get somebody else to play the goddamn drums and get up there and sing. I used to hate when Phil Collins did that shit. He pulled it off.
Kevin James Ryan
Hey, tell me Don Henley didn't pull. I mean, your head is so far up your ass, imagine that statement.
H. Foley
Yeah, Don Henley just never pulled it off.
Kevin James Ryan
He didn't really do it for him. Oh, he didn't do it for you? 7 million records today, we're talking about dive bar. Something near and dear to our hearts.
H. Foley
I've never been to one.
Kevin James Ryan
Oh, tell that to the Frolic Room out there in la. La. Which was, I think, the last time we were. Me and you were posting up proper in a night as a dive. Dives. But I was searching for a dive bar. A few nights ago, me and. Me and our good pal Dr. Rubinoff had some bopping around the city, doing
H. Foley
some spots in New York City.
Kevin James Ryan
New York City? New York.
H. Foley
Really?
Kevin James Ryan
And I meet up with him. It's probably Finish up around 11:15. 11:15 Saturday night. Got some spots on your belt Couple of bucks burning a hole in my pocket Looking to take the edge Looking
H. Foley
at least some money on a Bar
Kevin James Ryan
I'm in East Village.
H. Foley
Huh.
Kevin James Ryan
Prime dive locale.
H. Foley
That's where you want to go. Tell you that right now.
Kevin James Ryan
And I, I. Yes and no though it's changed a lot. Right. Because one of those bars over there on second Ave. Got cool.
H. Foley
I guess the library, whatever it is.
Kevin James Ryan
No, libraries are as a decent dive. A little, little trendy, a little cool guy dive, but a solid dive.
H. Foley
What do you, what do you mean exactly?
Kevin James Ryan
Place called Cooper's.
H. Foley
Cooper's?
Kevin James Ryan
Yeah. Second. It's like a second and fifth. Yeah. That place got cool.
H. Foley
Yeah.
Kevin James Ryan
Right. And now there's a line. I mean you probably know with your young cool kids.
Luke
I've been fucked up in there.
Kevin James Ryan
Yeah, yeah, it's whatever. I'm not nothing here nor there. It just recently got pretty hot because I've been walking between New York comedy clubs on 24th and 4th right down 2nd Avenue for years and I've never seen a line. There was a line of about 100 people to get line for Cooper to get in that joint.
H. Foley
Wait, this must have just happened.
Kevin James Ryan
I feel like, I mean it's always
Luke
popular like kind of Saturday brunch kind of hanging out all day drinking.
Kevin James Ryan
It must have recently got cool. Like cool to the point where I've never seen a line. He's nuked these, these fucking. These kids. You know what I mean? What do you want? They go in. It's, it's. It's. You know, whatever that all aside. All the dives around there now. Yeah. Have gotten infiltrated and are packed with these people that can't get in or they. We're gonna go to wherever and then you know. You know how like the cellar has all like those. The common stuff that pops up around it.
H. Foley
Yeah.
Kevin James Ryan
It's all filled with the run over from the cellar. Similar to this. We. So we went to like four different of our dives and they were all just piled in with fucking new guy Luke's in their. Their Sperries.
H. Foley
And you were at the 206 version of.
Kevin James Ryan
Yeah, we were trying. I mean we were. Obviously we don't want to go to Cooper's but all of our normal. The fish bar, which is like. I think it's called. That's the good thing about a dive, especially in New York. You're just like, oh, I know it's midway up the bl. I've walked by at a bun. You can just. Yeah. There's no signage. There's no.
H. Foley
That the shade pop in. You pop out that shade bar sometimes tough to get into too very Much so.
Kevin James Ryan
But that's not a dive. That's a. No, that's a class. For a guy like me, it's a classy.
H. Foley
When I think dive, I think places that you like to go to get all fucked up to a degree. Gallagher's.
Kevin James Ryan
Sure. Which I bumped in. I was in Central Park.
H. Foley
Bumped into me.
Kevin James Ryan
No. What? What, Jerry? I was walking.
H. Foley
Have you ever done that, by the way?
Kevin James Ryan
What?
H. Foley
You ever walked by, see me anywhere, and didn't say anything? I bet you have. I respect it.
Kevin James Ryan
Oh, that's crazy.
H. Foley
I'm wearing a cape.
Kevin James Ryan
No, but I was in Central park this weekend and I was. I was pushing the baby, trying to get him to sleep. Likes to be moving his nap time. And this. I'm walking by and this young couple kid, and he's like, holy shit, Kippy. I'm like, what's up, man? Like, I'm trying to be like, fuck. The baby's eyes are like clothing. Nodding. Huge fan. Can I get a picture? I'm like, yeah, what's up, dude? I don't. Thanks for the support. You know, like trying to. I don't want to tell him to.
H. Foley
Young kid.
Kevin James Ryan
Younger.
H. Foley
Look at you.
Kevin James Ryan
Not. I mean, look at me.
H. Foley
Here we go to Cooper's.
Kevin James Ryan
Can you get me a table of Coopers? A new guy, Luke. He. And then as he's taking. He's all jazz. He's taking his pictures. The girl goes, who is this? And I was like, all right. Right back to reality. And she's like. He's like, this is Kippy Kevin, James Ryan. And she's like, I don't know.
H. Foley
She's like, what the.
Kevin James Ryan
He's like, from all your garbage. She's like, oh, we're getting to Gallagher's tonight. I was like, oh.
H. Foley
She said, oh, she got it. Okay.
Kevin James Ryan
I guess they were in town.
H. Foley
Nice.
Kevin James Ryan
Visiting herself.
H. Foley
Nice. But thank God. Yeah, that would have ruined everything.
Kevin James Ryan
Needed a win. Fucking embarrassing me in front of my son. Ew. Who are you?
H. Foley
You look down, the baby's awake and he's just shaking his head.
Kevin James Ryan
It's like, this guy stinks.
H. Foley
That's good.
Kevin James Ryan
But it got me thinking as we were. We were going to dive. To dive and you know, some were too crowded, too loud. Just whatever it was this Saturday. Saturday night.
H. Foley
Saturday night. Uh huh. Now, are you doing one at least?
Kevin James Ryan
No, we're not even. Some of them are just like. You're like, I'm not fighting that. It's. Imagine if you. The normal spots that we would go. You open the door or see through it's just packed and you're like, that's not what a dive. A dive should be. Everybody's at that gets a seat or half the group you're with gets a seat, and it's a very.
H. Foley
Should be somewhat empty.
Kevin James Ryan
It should. That was. Of course, that's what I'm saying. There should be, like. It shouldn't be wall to wall. And the great thing about a New York City dive that, like, the transient, you get people that are coming. One for before dinner, one for after dinner. You got the guy who's posted up in the corner, you got a group of friends. It's like very. Half the people are posted the fuck up, the other half are cycling in and out type thing. You know what I mean?
H. Foley
So you.
Kevin James Ryan
You.
H. Foley
You balked at a couple of places.
Kevin James Ryan
Oh, most of them.
H. Foley
It's funny.
Kevin James Ryan
Socks.
H. Foley
And you did that to me. That was. That was a realization moment for me. We did that, like, what, two Thursdays ago when we did. When we did the seller show and you went out for drinks afterwards. We went to like, four places and didn't.
Kevin James Ryan
Oh, it was me, you and Ari. Yeah, yeah, they were. I mean, that wasn't me. That was like. We were all looking to sit down and get a table and talk.
H. Foley
I know. I personified it with you, though. Getting old.
Kevin James Ryan
I'm getting old.
H. Foley
Yeah, a little bit, sure.
Kevin James Ryan
I'm an old man.
H. Foley
You're not the young gunslinger used to be Kevin I know would have walked in there.
Kevin James Ryan
Ew. He's got 20. I can borrow.
H. Foley
What stinks in here?
Kevin James Ryan
Yeah, but. Yeah, I mean, we were looking for a table or whatever, but that. That's. That was a bit of the impetus of, you know, the. The idea of what makes a good bar. We wanted to hear from the Patreon homies stories of dive bars, what they like in a dive bar. The specials. And I got to be honest with you, the homies. The homies get.
H. Foley
You thirsty a little bit.
Kevin James Ryan
Oh, buddy, it ain't. It ain't. You ain't lying, dog. All right, let's see. Let's get into it. This one's from Patty's equ. Patty's equal dealer. That's pretty good.
H. Foley
It's not. Oh, Patty's equal dealer.
Kevin James Ryan
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
H. Foley
Straight to the plug with her.
Kevin James Ryan
This is the Black Horse London pub in San Francisco. Like the name. Which we were. We were in a great dive in San Francisco.
H. Foley
Wait, we watched the.
Kevin James Ryan
Where that. There was that guy that was driving around, said he was going to come back and shoot the place or whatever. That's a dive bar.
H. Foley
That's a dive bar. There's not some methad driving around with bare feet in.
Kevin James Ryan
Yeah. People are going, what's he up to? What's he up to?
H. Foley
That was a nice dive.
Kevin James Ryan
That was a. You walk in. I like a dive. Well, that's kind of not dangerous. But you go like, I'm walking in, there's regulars, they're eyeing me. They're. They're doing the inventory on me.
H. Foley
Sure.
Kevin James Ryan
And you kind of. They're a little miffed that you're there. You know, if you're going to a new dive and like, who the fuck is this guy? Sure.
H. Foley
You know, they don't want you there.
Kevin James Ryan
That's what I. That's what I'm saying. They're looking at you.
H. Foley
They're you looking at you.
Kevin James Ryan
This is Back to the Future, though. I'm trying to have sex with my mom.
H. Foley
They want to drink in an empty bar, too.
Kevin James Ryan
Of course.
H. Foley
They don't want some hot shot coming in.
Kevin James Ryan
Sure. Is that. Is that what.
H. Foley
Is that how you pay New York City attitude now?
Kevin James Ryan
You were there. Oh, yeah. Out there with the guy with no shoes on.
H. Foley
I would tell you that one time, one of the biggest faux pas me and my brother ever made. We went to like an after hours, late night bar in somewhere in the city. And we had just come from dinner, and this was like a friend of a friend that told us about this place. And me and him walked in there, both wearing suits. We looked like FBI agents. Like proper FBI agents.
Kevin James Ryan
Speak easy. You got here.
H. Foley
It was after hours.
Kevin James Ryan
Sure. Was it illegal after hours or no?
H. Foley
Yeah, 100% illegal after hours.
Kevin James Ryan
Gotcha a lot.
H. Foley
Irish. Gotcha a lot of other things. You know what I'm saying? Sure.
Kevin James Ryan
Why are you acting like you're in the FBI right now? Dude, what the fuck? Look over. You got a suit on.
H. Foley
I'm trying to get you to say something on tape.
Kevin James Ryan
Yeah, yeah. What else? Kippy?
H. Foley
We're not recording this.
Kevin James Ryan
What else do you like, Kippy? Remember I told you about the thing you said the guy.
H. Foley
Yeah. You can really blow it in a dive bar. And the dive bar is extremely unforgiving at bar faux pas.
Kevin James Ryan
Well, that's. That's also. We have a lot of. A lot of people submission of like,
H. Foley
you know, and I've done every lot of them. A mean, hot dive bar bartender will. Will ruin you.
Kevin James Ryan
But they do. They're so. There's something so damaged out of people that drink at dive bars that. That stern Kind of buxom broad wearing,
H. Foley
like a tank top, tattoos.
Kevin James Ryan
Put you in her place. She's spinning the bottle opener on her hand. Oh, yeah, hon. Enough hairspray to fucking put a hole in the oozing. Yeah. There's something that every dude sitting there going, it's me. I could get her. I could get her. You can't. You can't and you won't. But. All right, so the Black Horse London Pub, San Francisco. It's about 10ft by 20ft, seven stools. That's.
H. Foley
It's like Rao's.
Kevin James Ryan
You gotta know it's one of the five families.
H. Foley
Real who's who.
Kevin James Ryan
Which can we get into Rails? Anybody out there get us into Rao's?
H. Foley
I get us into Rails, you could
Kevin James Ryan
get us into Ray. Yes. Who you calling?
H. Foley
I can't get us. Put me in the spot like that.
Kevin James Ryan
Hey, call me Lion.
H. Foley
I know Luke can't.
Kevin James Ryan
No, sir.
H. Foley
That's right.
Kevin James Ryan
No one can get us anywhere. I mean, we're like.
H. Foley
That's crazy.
Kevin James Ryan
Yeah. No, we're not. We're not. We're well connected. If you need like, auto, glass guy, a roofer, like, we're well connected. We. As you. I think it was you. It's like we're flat. We're fight club. Like, we wash your dishes. We do that. That's what the homies of bozos are doing.
H. Foley
I actually. I bet you we. This is out there now. I bet you somebody hits us up with a rails.
Kevin James Ryan
I think we tried this before.
H. Foley
I think maybe who hears and, you know, things are going. I think we will be.
Kevin James Ryan
I think there's a lot of who's who listening to the dive bar episode.
H. Foley
I had that guy to DMV hit me up. Pretty powerful.
Kevin James Ryan
I'm not saying he's not powerful. That guy can't get into radio.
H. Foley
He's up in Albany doing the Lord's work. You get us in a joint up
Kevin James Ryan
there, get us in a Cheesecake factory, get a nice table by the window.
H. Foley
They get crowded on Thursdays.
Kevin James Ryan
This all right? Black Horse, London pub owner. The owner Ubers because he has no car to Costco. Every day loads up with beer.
H. Foley
Holy shit.
Kevin James Ryan
There's a bathtub behind the bar. Fills it with ice, throws the beers in there. It's cash or Zelle only. He plays guitar behind the bar. If he likes you, you'll get a shot of Jameson. There's a framed one star Yelp review on the wall. Best dive around. Look at that.
H. Foley
Wow, dude.
Kevin James Ryan
That's pretty sick. That's all Right. That's what it. That was a lot like Old Man Hustle down the Lower east side. That was a good dive, too. The same size. We used to do comedy shows there. I bond there.
H. Foley
Strippers, too, right? Didn't they shift strippers there? No, I don't remember that.
Kevin James Ryan
Mean, maybe. I don't know.
H. Foley
I'm thinking of that place in South Philly.
Kevin James Ryan
That Republican.
H. Foley
Yes.
Kevin James Ryan
Oh, man.
H. Foley
Rough.
Kevin James Ryan
I remember following a burlesque dancer there. God damn if you don't think I was funny before. A set of cans wiggling around in front of you.
H. Foley
You can never follow a burlesque dancer for two reasons. One, if she's super hot. One if she's super. Yeah, yeah, you're done.
Kevin James Ryan
Let's see. Dead in the Water. Yeah, that's my kind of joint, man. That's a good time. The only problem with that, I would feel, is like, I don't think you'd like the guitar player if he was decent. I would love Black Horse London Deli. It says, too.
H. Foley
You don't throw out a.
Kevin James Ryan
Throw out a fucking Italiano at you.
H. Foley
I like a Black Forest ham.
Kevin James Ryan
I like. I do. My favorite thing about a dive is that it's unwelcoming from the outside.
H. Foley
Sure.
Kevin James Ryan
It's going. We're in here, we're drowned in some salt. Like, this isn't.
H. Foley
You know, that's the only thing I say with the guitar player. Not anything against the guitar player. When you're in that kind of vibe when you're in there, you want the jukebox. You want to hit your tunes.
Kevin James Ryan
Yeah. You know. Yeah. Especially that small. You can't really check out of that either. You got to be like, oh, I'm in there.
H. Foley
Get up and go down some sad memory lane. You know what I mean?
Kevin James Ryan
I know, exactly.
H. Foley
And you know what I need for that? Some 70s hits.
Kevin James Ryan
Cranking the legals.
H. Foley
Little Don Henley, Boston, Little Chicago. Need them.
Kevin James Ryan
All right, let's see here. This one's from Blaine. Is it garbage? Have a friend whose wake and memorial service was held at a dive bar. There was a bunch of tip jars with my dead friend's face taped to them scattered throughout the bar. That's how I want to go, dude. Yeah, that in the. I've always said, I want a proper Irish. I want to be at the. I want to be on the pool table at the bar.
H. Foley
I can't. I wouldn't be able to go to that. I couldn't see you like, holy, buddy.
Kevin James Ryan
I don't want to break pressure bubble. I Don't think you're gonna see me like that.
H. Foley
I'm not gonna get invited.
Kevin James Ryan
Yeah, that's what I mean. I'll meet you.
H. Foley
You might be busy that day for eternity.
Kevin James Ryan
You might be busy that eternity. Yeah, that's. That would be a nice. And then. Well, I guess. Who's the cash code to the. To the family grease? The family.
H. Foley
Yeah.
Kevin James Ryan
I mean, I think if you're having it there. I don't think there was, like, a. You know.
H. Foley
Oh, I mean, I think.
Kevin James Ryan
I don't think there's a proper, like, estate plan.
H. Foley
I thought you meant if you did it.
Kevin James Ryan
No, I was gonna kind of. No, I don't expect you to tip my family.
H. Foley
What the. Do you think? Yeah, it's going to pay for the goddamn funeral.
Kevin James Ryan
Yeah, I like that.
H. Foley
Of course.
Kevin James Ryan
That's all right.
H. Foley
That cash is getting turned over real quick. See what's left over.
Luke
Got it. You got to make it a 50.
Kevin James Ryan
50. Listen, I love. I mean, why I. We check the legality of that, of running a 50, 50 at the live shows, which I would love to do.
H. Foley
I thought. We tried to. And they said no.
Kevin James Ryan
Yeah, I think there's, like. It's like lottery s. Did we try
H. Foley
to do that at a casino or something like that?
Kevin James Ryan
No. At a casino.
H. Foley
Got our own operation.
Kevin James Ryan
What are we. Working opinions? What are you talking about?
H. Foley
We got our own operation back there.
Kevin James Ryan
That's really good. I really like a nice, shitty. And that's also just how my family mourns. It is very. Like, we're gonna sit around and have drinks. Even like the. You came to my stepdad's, did you?
H. Foley
No, I wasn't able to go to church.
Kevin James Ryan
You're at the church. You didn't come to the thing. It's like, even when you're there doing, like, the meal or, like, the luncheon, everybody's just going to the closed circles. Like, let's clean this out. Saddle up at a bar and shoot them back. Shoot them back.
H. Foley
No conversation. Really.
Kevin James Ryan
Yeah.
H. Foley
Unless, you know. No having the conversation. You know what I mean?
Kevin James Ryan
Yeah.
H. Foley
Giving the. Yeah, well, you know, this and that. Like, we're done with. Let's get to the nitty gritty.
Kevin James Ryan
Yeah, yeah, yeah. Let's get. Yeah. All the glad hand and get out of here.
H. Foley
But, yeah, I would have to assume that that money's going straight to the
Kevin James Ryan
family, which I would like.
H. Foley
Paying that tab. Yeah, baby, the tabs probably give me a couple days later. I know you're good for it.
Kevin James Ryan
You would. You would hope. You would hope if it's part of the community. You would hope.
H. Foley
Sure.
Kevin James Ryan
Hey, get it to me when you got it.
H. Foley
Richie was in here every night.
Kevin James Ryan
If you got. Ha. Whatever, we'll call you. Something like that. Take care of the guys.
H. Foley
I can see the owner bartending. You know, he came in to do it. Yeah, I like that.
Kevin James Ryan
Good shit.
H. Foley
That's how you want to go, huh?
Kevin James Ryan
What do you mean? Surrounded by my loved ones and community. Gotcha doing, you know, watching everybody do what. What I. What I loved most.
H. Foley
We got cheesesteak egg rolls all over your body like a sushi.
Kevin James Ryan
Bunch of ketchup in my.
H. Foley
Kids. Grab a bite off Kippy.
Kevin James Ryan
Don't be scared.
H. Foley
Oh my God.
Kevin James Ryan
I'm off. Dude, I'm even. I look you. I'm all pale and. Give me a Sprite, Dan. If you fucking. If you put me.
H. Foley
Okay, I got you.
Kevin James Ryan
If I can at least. You know what I mean? Do the hair. Do something.
H. Foley
Yeah, you got to get a spray tan. Yeah, they don't do that enough.
Kevin James Ryan
Why don't they do that?
H. Foley
I don't know.
Kevin James Ryan
They put the. May they cake the makeup on it. Hit them with a spray.
H. Foley
If you. If you die without a tan. And then you. And then you're in there chilling with shades on, all tanned up.
Kevin James Ryan
Maybe a little fucking zinc on the nose.
H. Foley
He's getting back from Miami, getting ready for help. That's pretty good. Yeah, that's pretty good.
Kevin James Ryan
That's not bad.
H. Foley
That's really good, kid. We gotta tell them about aura frames.
Kevin James Ryan
Sing it from the rooftop. Aura frames or a frames. Aura frames or frames.
H. Foley
You know what you gotta do with aura frames? You gotta thank her for everything. Of course. I'm talking about dear old mom.
Kevin James Ryan
Uh huh.
H. Foley
Talking about your wife, mother, your child. Talking about baby mama, your mother in law. I'm talking about every woman in your life that has bared a child. It's Mother's Day and the ultimate gift of aura frames.
Kevin James Ryan
Yes.
H. Foley
Throw it up on the counter. Shuts them up all year long.
Kevin James Ryan
Zip it.
H. Foley
Get to see what the kids are doing, what you're doing. It's the best gift ever.
Kevin James Ryan
Yes. I've said it once, I said it a thousand times. Every mother in my life has one. I've gotten from my mom, my. My mother in law, my sister. My wife's getting one this year. All good. Douche.
H. Foley
How you doing?
Kevin James Ryan
All pictures of me. Hey, how you doing? Forget about the baby. El Kiparinos in town. All jokes aside, they have free unlimited storage. You can preload photos before it ships. Personalize your gif with a message. You can add a message before it arrives. A gift box is included. Shares all your photos and videos effortlessly through the top rated app is named number one by wirecutter. And you can save on the gifts mom loves by visiting auraframes.com for a limited time. Listeners can get $25 off their best selling carver mat frame with code garbage. That's Aura auraframes.com promo code garbage. Support the channel by mentioning us at checkout. Terms and conditions applied that that cab.
H. Foley
We got time about Warby Parker.
Kevin James Ryan
Shout out to Warby Parker.
H. Foley
I used to see Warby Parker and think like I'm not cool enough to wear Warby Parker.
Kevin James Ryan
I also would see Warby park and go foley's not cool enough to wear Warby Parker.
H. Foley
Here's the thing. You are.
Kevin James Ryan
You're wrong, baby.
H. Foley
Fashionable, they're durable and the price is unbelievable. You know what else Warby Parker has? I'm a big glasses guy. I've been wearing glasses all my life. Problem with me is I go to the, you know, I go to the place, the place and they just have the cheapest frames that are out of style that I look like a bozo. I look like I'm working in Area 51 walking around Warby Parker. You got the virtual. Try it on.
Kevin James Ryan
Yeah.
H. Foley
See what it looks like on you. Absolutely fantastic. If you're in the market for some glasses, some sunglasses, whatever you need, go over to Warby Parker. Get yourself straightened out. Do you felt some favorite look cool this spring?
Kevin James Ryan
Yes. Warby Parker doesn't just offer incredible prescription glasses. They have everything you need for happier eyes. That includes contacts online, online eye exams and sunglasses. And you're outside way more this time of year. So having both glasses and sunglasses actually just matters more, baby. Warby Parker has distributed over get this 20 million pairs of glasses to people in need through its buy a pair give a pair program. That's giving back dog.
H. Foley
Give them back.
Kevin James Ryan
That's because they care. They're good care. It's not all about profits they're giving Paul.
H. Foley
It's all about profits.
Kevin James Ryan
It's the perfect time to upgrade your glasses for spring. Buy one prescription pair and get 20% off an additional prescription pair at warbyparker.com garbage a 20% off additional prescription pairs when you go to Warby W A r b y parker.com garbage debt. All right, let's see here. In the same. In the same reign. And this is. This would be an honor. This is from John. My local bar has a Memorial plaque on one of the stools. It was the regulars. Everyday seat. He died after he got drunk and fell off his roof.
H. Foley
Jesus.
Kevin James Ryan
Tough way to go out, but great way to remember a guy.
H. Foley
Sure. Yeah.
Kevin James Ryan
They don't do. I feel like. I would love to see that more. We even for a more concert, more common. Maybe not like a. The everyday guy, but.
H. Foley
Yeah, we had those at Martell's. When you could buy it, you could get like a plaque in front of the ball. You like sponsor a seat. Does that make sense?
Kevin James Ryan
Yeah.
H. Foley
Yeah.
Kevin James Ryan
Then did you have kind of regulars up there? No, but like if you sponsor the seat that you come in, that's your seat, kind of.
H. Foley
Yeah.
Kevin James Ryan
You can't bounce a guy if a guy's sitting there, though.
H. Foley
No, you didn't bounce anybody. No, it was more like. Yeah, it was more like just having your name on the bar. Does that make sense?
Kevin James Ryan
Gotcha.
H. Foley
A little. Little gold lettering.
Kevin James Ryan
Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Kind of like I always. You do the bench?
H. Foley
Yeah, Bench at the boardwalk.
Kevin James Ryan
It's like in. In honor of Joe and Pop Pop or whatever.
H. Foley
My family has one of those, my cousins for their mom and dad on Seattle's boardwalk.
Kevin James Ryan
Very nice.
H. Foley
Yes.
Kevin James Ryan
There. That's prime real estate.
H. Foley
The house is right there too.
Kevin James Ryan
Are they horse thieves or something? Did.
H. Foley
Well, we're the other side. My mom goes down there all the time. Shacks up. Yeah, they let her down there for a week. Ever down there for a week.
Kevin James Ryan
Keep on a short lease, I'm sure.
H. Foley
Yeah, they take care of her. You know, Patty goes down, I'm just gonna stay. It was that one year. I got the short house for a week. Yeah.
Kevin James Ryan
Kind of. Remember that. Yeah. You going down at all this summer?
H. Foley
I don't think so.
Kevin James Ryan
Okay.
H. Foley
You know where to find me this summer.
Kevin James Ryan
Just checking, dog. All right, let's see. This one's from Delaware. Cousin. $10, homie. In the Denver area, there was a bar we called the Sewer because it always smells like shit.
H. Foley
I hate that.
Kevin James Ryan
But the PBRs are cheap. That's a true mark of a dirt bag.
H. Foley
No, couldn't do it.
Kevin James Ryan
You get used to it. You do get used to it.
H. Foley
We've drank in plenty of bars that you smelled the plumbing.
Kevin James Ryan
Oh, yeah, yeah. Smelling the plumbing and tasting the taps are bad for me. I can't. I've. I've done it too, too, too much for too long that I. The taps. If I'm a bottle and can. I take anything out of a bottle and can at this point over a draft.
H. Foley
However, there is the thing sometimes where you get a bottle and you taste
Kevin James Ryan
the lid, that's when we. That's where we were.
H. Foley
Was that in the gypsy Poughkeepsie?
Kevin James Ryan
No, the Frolic Room.
H. Foley
Oh, yeah.
Kevin James Ryan
They were giving me. I was drinking Bud Heavies, and I guess they weren't. They were, like, rusted. Sometimes those capsule, like, if they're underwater or.
H. Foley
I didn't notice that. Those were screamers.
Kevin James Ryan
The cap was rust, and you're just, like. You tasting. It was somewhere. I was like, I can't.
H. Foley
I don't know. We were pretty happy with those beers.
Kevin James Ryan
Drinking nickels. Yeah. I think at one point I did switch over, though. But, yeah, that happens. Sometimes you get that. You get an old bottle. It's been sitting there since, like, the fucking Clinton administration.
H. Foley
Yeah. So it happens when the. When the ice turns to water, start floating.
Kevin James Ryan
Oh, just think about how many times that happens at a fucking bad bar. Especially if you go, like, a little
H. Foley
obscure the shit from last night. In the morning, you get the shit from last night. Bad news, tough.
Kevin James Ryan
They have PBR bottles with playing card icons like the ace of spade and the jack of clubs under the cap.
H. Foley
Whoa.
Kevin James Ryan
Do PBR bottles suck? They taste like the fucking. They taste more like the bottle, really, and lid than anything I've ever seen that. Yeah, they're not great. I want to say they have them at a great dive bar, the Sly Fox. I want to say they have them, which is that Ukrainian. It's right next to. You know where that little Ukraine is on Second Avenue?
H. Foley
Yeah, yeah, yeah, man.
Kevin James Ryan
You go in there.
H. Foley
I've eaten at a little Ukraine pretty good.
Kevin James Ryan
Oh, yeah, yeah. Yeah. But this is like their. It's like $2 nickel P. It's something crazy. You go in late night, they give you. They give you clear, solo. Plastic. Plastic solo cups. That's how you know a beer is not going to stay cold. We. When it's handed to you in a clear plastic cup, you want that in
H. Foley
a coffee cup or a thermos.
Kevin James Ryan
And the bathroom isn't in the bar.
H. Foley
I hate that you have to go
Kevin James Ryan
into, like, this back annex that connects to the whole building. Then go down. You go down a hall. It's like an office building.
H. Foley
I hate an annex.
Kevin James Ryan
It's not good.
H. Foley
Never an annex. Never.
Kevin James Ryan
But PBR bottles with playing card icons like the ace of spades and jack of clubs under the cap.
H. Foley
Mm.
Kevin James Ryan
If you guess the right card, you get the beer for free.
H. Foley
Whoa.
Kevin James Ryan
That's what we're talking about. That keeps you there. What the Thing is, if you stick around and drink enough of them, it'll give you a few clues so you eventually get the freebie. That's pretty good.
H. Foley
That's all right.
Kevin James Ryan
They'll be like, they know what they're giving you. I guess. Also, one time we saw a couple of their mid-50s, 50s, 60s making out the bar, drunk at 4:30 on a Thursday night. There you go.
H. Foley
That's love right there, buddy. That's love.
Kevin James Ryan
Like two cockroaches going at it. Sure, that's all right.
H. Foley
Yeah. God love him.
Kevin James Ryan
I. The. I want to say the. The Copa Banana out there on like 40th and walnut or something like that. I don't know if it's still around. There was a couple of Copas in Philly. Remember that? Yeah, there was the Copacabana.
H. Foley
I thought you were talking about the Copa Gibana, the song you were singing.
Kevin James Ryan
No, no, this is. This was called the Copa Banana.
H. Foley
Okay, the Copa.
Kevin James Ryan
But what do you got?
Luke
Four thousand spruce tree.
Kevin James Ryan
That's. Yeah, before.
H. Foley
Thousand.
Kevin James Ryan
Yeah, it'd be 40th and spruce.
H. Foley
All right.
Kevin James Ryan
Four thousand, I think, right? Yeah, before youth and spruce. Because 400 would be 4th and spruce.
Luke
Yeah. This one's Copa banana. University City.
Kevin James Ryan
Yes. Right. And they would do $, Lion's Head. And the lion's heads had the mammograms. No, pictogram. Pictograms. They had the puzzles. It'd be like a picture of a pyramid and an eyeball and a cap on the cap.
H. Foley
I don't remember that.
Kevin James Ryan
And you would open it. I think there was a thing. If you guessed it, you got something. Nice shot. You got something. I remember that.
H. Foley
You know where lion's heads brood? Wilkes Pray, Pennsylvania Wilkes Bear.
Kevin James Ryan
Yeah, right. Well, they still banging. Lion's head.
H. Foley
Thought they were owned by Stegmeyer Yingling or something like that.
Kevin James Ryan
Stegmeyer.
H. Foley
Stegmeyer.
Kevin James Ryan
Oh.
H. Foley
Ever heard of Stegmeier Beer? It's old beer and Wilkes Barre.
Kevin James Ryan
I'll bear with Wilbur Stigmar.
Luke
Still banging.
H. Foley
Still banging. Lion's Head.
Kevin James Ryan
Yeah.
Luke
Wilkes.
Kevin James Ryan
Bart Wilkes.
H. Foley
Bart. Well, there you go. Take that, Luke.
Luke
A college favorite beer.
Kevin James Ryan
It is. Yeah. Yeah.
Luke
Very budget friendly.
Kevin James Ryan
It was nine bucks for a 24 pack.
H. Foley
Cans.
Kevin James Ryan
Bottles.
H. Foley
What?
Kevin James Ryan
They were only doing bottles. They weren't doing cans.
H. Foley
Oh, that's right. It's a bottling facility now.
Luke
It's $15.79.
H. Foley
There you go.
Kevin James Ryan
That's not that bad because that was fucking 20. Almost 20 years ago. 18 years ago.
H. Foley
Brewed and bottled in Wilkes Barre, Pennsylvania. Gotta be.
Kevin James Ryan
They outsources To India or something.
Luke
Yeah. What I mean, the breweries at. In Wilkes Barre. So I assume they're doing it all in house sickness.
Kevin James Ryan
They don't have money to be shipping that around. That's a. That's a fucking good operation.
H. Foley
All right.
Kevin James Ryan
It's no garage beers, but it'll do.
H. Foley
Shout out to garage beers.
Kevin James Ryan
Shout out to them, which I got. I want to get my hands on some of them. They sent a. I just saw. They released some of the bottles, but like a big, like.
H. Foley
Oh, really?
Kevin James Ryan
Like a quart bottle. Imagine, like a big red striped bottle.
H. Foley
Yeah.
Kevin James Ryan
You know what I mean?
H. Foley
My dad was big on the quartz.
Kevin James Ryan
The court.
H. Foley
He would bring. Yeah. Every once in a while. He wouldn't drink that much of the house, but he would bring home like two random quartz, like a quart of Coors Light and like a course quart of. I don't know.
Kevin James Ryan
They stopped doing it when I was like. I. We didn't see them. Really?
H. Foley
Really?
Kevin James Ryan
Yeah. No, I mean, I'm not saying they stopped completely. They just. It became the smaller bottle. Because I remember my dad would always be like, yeah, you.
Luke
You.
Kevin James Ryan
I'd be like 10 or 12 or whatever. My. Somebody be like, yeah, will you and your friend go get a couple quarts of beer? Like, the fuck quart of beer? The fuck you talking about, old man? I'm tired. We. We do canes, we do pounders, and we do a double deuce.
H. Foley
I think they started. They became too menacing. They're just you looking at you like, yeah, that's gonna be bad news at
Kevin James Ryan
some point, but we still did 40s. Sure. Hey, man.
H. Foley
Is what it is.
Kevin James Ryan
I haven't done a 40 in a minute. Maybe I'll start doing 40s again.
H. Foley
I do.
Kevin James Ryan
Imagine me walking out on stage with a 40. I put it on this stool, chugging that thing. That's all right.
H. Foley
Yeah. 40 of Saint Ives will do the trick, I can tell you that.
Kevin James Ryan
Yeah.
H. Foley
Put you to sleep.
Kevin James Ryan
Yeah. We used to do Hurricanes at the corner store in North Philly. At temple were 250. So we. 5 bucks 250. And we'd each do one, maybe two if you were like Oreo. And then that was the pre game. Damn.
H. Foley
You go out, you're already out with two hurricanes. I mean, that's a Category 5 right there.
Kevin James Ryan
Look out, they call Luke Combs.
Luke
Did you ever do the sidewalk slammer?
H. Foley
About to do one to you.
Kevin James Ryan
There's new age, stupid questions. You know me a long time. You ever think I walk around going, ldt sidewalk slammers?
Luke
It's a custom thing.
H. Foley
And a kamikaze. No.
Kevin James Ryan
What is it?
Luke
OG for loco. Half. Half. You drink half the 40 and then you pour half the four low.
Kevin James Ryan
We were too old for that. Yeah.
H. Foley
God, I want to beat you up so bad right now.
Luke
You don't like cool stuff, man.
H. Foley
That's a two 40s taped to your hands. That's Edward, 40, walking around Penn State like a goddamn asshole.
Luke
That's a goddamn state.
Kevin James Ryan
That's. You got to try it. At least one. Every alcoholic in his. Early in his career needs to try it. Specifically college. Me and my boy got locked in his dorm room. It was the. I told you. It was the doorknob. Not like a. And we couldn't. We were. But we both taped ourselves up.
H. Foley
How did you both.
Kevin James Ryan
He did it. I don't remember. Maybe someone else did it and then
H. Foley
he taped you first and then did himself, I guess.
Kevin James Ryan
Or maybe his. His roommate did it, but then his roommate bounced. I think that his.
H. Foley
His roommate just sitting there and get up.
Kevin James Ryan
Yeah, his roommate. Noof. He's dead. No. Noofs. I think. No. My boy. He died.
H. Foley
The guy.
Kevin James Ryan
Yeah.
H. Foley
Whoa. Of. I mean, category five.
Kevin James Ryan
Yeah.
H. Foley
I'm with you.
Kevin James Ryan
I mean, you know, protect the innocent guys.
H. Foley
They only. Look. They only go a couple of ways around us. Huh?
Kevin James Ryan
Yeah. It's usually south. I was. Dude, I bumped into a friend of, you know, who I. Who has known in a while. I haven't talked to in a while. And she was like, oh, how's. Like, you know, all your friends. I know we're in college. She's like, oh, how. All your friends? How so? And so? And so, so. And I'm like a couple of fucking swings and misses. I mean, everybody's doing all right.
H. Foley
Mm.
Kevin James Ryan
But there's also, like. There's. Everybody's doing okay. And then there's also, like, below the curve.
H. Foley
Wait, really? With your squad now? Is it the squad I know.
Kevin James Ryan
Yeah. But still not. I mean.
H. Foley
Huh. I wouldn't know. The guys that aren't doing great.
Kevin James Ryan
Yeah. You didn't meet. The guys that are no longer with us are not doing great. Or maybe you have and I'm. I don't know. Maybe I'm out with them. Maybe you've been banging running with the wrong crowd. I don't know.
H. Foley
I'm out with them.
Kevin James Ryan
Money. Yeah. Yeah. There's. Yeah, it's. But it made me realize it.
H. Foley
I'm just glad there wasn't a house fully doing.
Kevin James Ryan
There was.
H. Foley
There was.
Kevin James Ryan
Yeah.
H. Foley
Let's lay off of those For a little while. Okay.
Kevin James Ryan
I mean, I'm not telling. You know, whatever.
H. Foley
Say you haven't seen me.
Kevin James Ryan
He shows up and leaves.
H. Foley
That's the one. Everybody starts saying,
Kevin James Ryan
all right, this while. This is a great name. This is from deep fried Foley. What a name.
H. Foley
Love that.
Kevin James Ryan
Dude.
H. Foley
This fried Foley, that's a deep fried hot dog with onions, mustard, and chili sauce. Yeah, right there. That's a deep fried Foley. There's a place out in Jersey it does deep fried dogs.
Kevin James Ryan
You know what? We kind of had this idea we. To do hot dogs. A pop up. We'll do to these dogs one weekend. And we can rent a space, put a hot dog carton there, whatever.
H. Foley
Talk about doing that.
Kevin James Ryan
And we should just do it.
H. Foley
We have to get a food handler's license. We'll use gloves. I want people to be comfortable eating the food.
Kevin James Ryan
Yeah.
H. Foley
So I'm gonna make the chili sauce.
Kevin James Ryan
All right, we're out.
H. Foley
What? I told you I was doing that from Jump Street.
Kevin James Ryan
Chili sauce now with more fingernails.
H. Foley
No. And a bad start saying I use bad press. You just close down.
Kevin James Ryan
Any press is good press. Are you talking about.
H. Foley
I'll make it my dad's recipe.
Kevin James Ryan
Mm.
H. Foley
And I'll do. I'll do a deep fried Foley.
Kevin James Ryan
Okay.
H. Foley
You have a deep fryer?
Kevin James Ryan
I don't think so. I'll have to check in the back, but I'm not sure now.
H. Foley
Where's the storeroom at?
Kevin James Ryan
All right. Deep fried Foley. What a name. This. This name run no. For a Snapper McGee's. Whoa. See if you can pull up Snapper McGee's in Kingston. I would assume that would be Kingston, New York. I don't know.
H. Foley
Kingston, pa.
Kevin James Ryan
I think there's probably a lot of Kingston came up quick. Snapper McGee's New York or PA New York. Yeah. Kingston, New York. Do live music. Snapper McGee's, Kingston, New York. Good booze is their men is there.
H. Foley
Damn.
Kevin James Ryan
That's all right.
H. Foley
Yeah.
Kevin James Ryan
You want low outside light, decent neon signs, stickiness of the floor. You want. You know, you want some of that
H. Foley
stuff, but you want bad outside lighting. But when you walk in, you want to see. You want it to pop. Yeah.
Kevin James Ryan
You also want. If you're going during the day, my favorite. My favorite about 8 seconds is adjusting from the really bright outside to the really dark inside. And yeah, you might get hit with a two by film or you find out who's eyeballing you.
H. Foley
The experience I think about that is when we got fucked up at the Pirates Bar in la. Yeah.
Kevin James Ryan
I mean, there was no Natural light in that place.
H. Foley
And that was so. It was so hot outside. We were so, like, looking forward to doing that. It was the first time we did it. Walked into that freezing cold, dark space
Kevin James Ryan
and the guy was a fan. Guy's like, holy shit. What the heck? We were the only two people in the bar. It was a pirate themed bar. The only two people in there. We got fucking shellacked.
H. Foley
Fucked up.
Kevin James Ryan
Yeah. What are you guys doing? You just getting drunk early? Yeah. I mean, more pirate.
H. Foley
You guys got big meetings out here, huh? Huh?
Kevin James Ryan
More pirate fries, please.
H. Foley
Yeah, just proper fucked up. Mm. Damn, that was fun.
Kevin James Ryan
Snapper McGee's in Kingston does a Thanksgiving shot on Thanksgiving shot a Wild Turkey mixed with cranberry juice. Juice and gravy from a jar. It's actually pretty good. I think I might be with that.
H. Foley
You had me for a second.
Kevin James Ryan
I don't know. You don't. I mean, you don't think gravy's a good. I mean, essentially it's a. It's a chaser.
H. Foley
I guess it probably does.
Kevin James Ryan
It's a gravy back. Look at it that way. So it takes. It's gotta take the edge off.
H. Foley
You know Why I think it would work or why I'm sure it works is as odd as it is. The cranberry and gravy is. Will be familiar to you as it goes down the course. Wow. That's pretty good.
Kevin James Ryan
That's not bad.
H. Foley
Yeah.
Kevin James Ryan
Huh.
H. Foley
Huh.
Kevin James Ryan
I would. I wouldn't mind trying one of those.
H. Foley
I need.
Kevin James Ryan
I. I need a. I need a good dive to make my own. I got Shade, which is not a dive, but it's. Right. It's a quiet enough.
H. Foley
I think in New York. You're in trouble.
Kevin James Ryan
Yeah. New York. New York has great dives, but it's. They're tough. There's none by me. They're cool now. Yeah, they're just. It's cool. It's cool for that sort of. That's what happened. It's cool for young kids to like. Young rich kids to like slum it. Remember we used Niagara. They used to.
H. Foley
I love you, buddy.
Kevin James Ryan
They used to consider Niagara a dive. Like the rich kids would be like. Yeah, it was. Niagara wasn't a dive bar. What? Niagara was a bar.
H. Foley
You think so?
Kevin James Ryan
Yeah. Niagara was in a dive. Huh? The walls of Niagara are worth like $400,000.
H. Foley
That's by accident. Some guy came in and got fucked up and drew on him.
Kevin James Ryan
Doesn't matter.
H. Foley
He's a famous artist.
Kevin James Ryan
No, Saturday night, there would be Saturday night. There was a bouncer, a line and fucking, like, dudes in, like, pea coats and button ups there. Like, that's what it mainly turned into.
H. Foley
I guess you're right.
Kevin James Ryan
You know what I mean? It got. They just got. It became cool for guys like Luke. I. Luke's getting trash in this one.
H. Foley
Sorry.
Kevin James Ryan
But it became. It became cool for them.
H. Foley
They get a lot of heat for no reason.
Kevin James Ryan
I wouldn't. That was exactly the vibe. Yeah. And that's him going like, oh, we're going to Niagara. It's real. It's not pretention. We're gonna pop in at beers. Meanwhile, me and you were like, this is the nicest place I ever been.
H. Foley
Trying to steal the wall.
Kevin James Ryan
Cover me. Yeah, that was okay.
Luke
They had a DJ when we went there.
Kevin James Ryan
There's no DJ at the ice bars.
H. Foley
Better not be.
Kevin James Ryan
I'm bad.
H. Foley
Karaoke. We got talking about Blue Chew. Blue Chew Gang. I know we got a lot of guys out there. You start getting older, you put on a couple of things, Start slowing down
Kevin James Ryan
a little bit, Lose your mojo a little bit.
H. Foley
You need a little help in the bedroom. God knows I am one of them. Here's the good news. That's where bluechew comes in.
Kevin James Ryan
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H. Foley
Yes, we do, Cat. We got time about quints.
Kevin James Ryan
Shout out to quint now.
H. Foley
Do you know about quint?
Kevin James Ryan
Oh, I know about quints.
H. Foley
Because let me tell you folks something. As I'm in this stage of my weight loss journey, you know, I'm down about £80 right now. I want something to feel a little bit better. I want to feel a little bit more, you know, comfortable. I want to feel a bit better and I want a little bit of high quality. That's where Quince comes in.
Kevin James Ryan
Boost that confidence.
H. Foley
Boost your confidence. Get over there and get on Quint. See what's going on.
Kevin James Ryan
Yes, baby. The fabrics are elevated, the fits are clean and everything works without you having to overthink it. I got to be honest with you. They were nice enough to send us a promo code. I popped it in, I got a pair of pants. I friggin loved them so much. I went back and bought like four of the same pairs of pants. You see me in a. A gray pair of. They're like jeans, light jeans, slacks, trousers, whatever. I wear them on stage, I wear them on a pot. I wear them to work, I do it all. They're quints, baby. Quints through and through. How you friggin doing? Everything is priced 50 to 80% less than what you would find at similar brands. They work directly with ethical factories. That cuts out the middlemen. That's where you get the savings. So you're getting premium materials without the markup. The relax. The fits are relaxed, comfortable, but still polished enough to wear pretty much anywhere. I wore them on Easter. People were complimenting me. Look at that. I can wear them out drinking all night at a dive bar. I could wear them to Easter. How you doing? Pair of holy paints. Refresh your everyday with luxury. You'll actually use. Head to quince.com garbage for free shipping on your order. And 365 day returns now available in Canada as well. That's Quince. Q U I n c e.com garbage for free shipping. 365 day returns. Quince.com/garbage.
H. Foley
Let me see. This is the number one tavern.
Kevin James Ryan
A diet bar in Wildwood.
H. Foley
No, in.
Kevin James Ryan
Yeah, Cambridge.
H. Foley
Yeah. In Wild.
Kevin James Ryan
Shout to the number one. Yes. I would say for. If that was anywhere else. Yeah, but it's like. It's also a little kitschy because it's down the shore. If that was anywhere else, I mean. Yeah, but there's not that many. There is a good amount of bars in Wildwood, obviously, but it's like it is limited.
H. Foley
I got.
Kevin James Ryan
So you're like. They can kind of just stay. It's kitschy at this point.
H. Foley
If it was anywhere else. I mean, anywhere else would be closed.
Kevin James Ryan
Good point.
H. Foley
Kidding me.
Kevin James Ryan
Shout out to the number one.
H. Foley
Shout out to.
Kevin James Ryan
I mean they got all the marks. They have their own special drink. No, with. With Dirt bag Lore. No one knows the ingredients. The. The owner who I think recently passed would show up every day and make it in vats by himself. Mark Tully. Shout out Mark Dolly. And then there's a golden tea.
H. Foley
Sure.
Kevin James Ryan
Screaming Cold air conditioning.
H. Foley
Screaming Screaming Cold back is crazy.
Kevin James Ryan
Bad bathroom, bad bathrooms, bad.
H. Foley
Bad bar stool. Bad cushioned bar stools around the tables in the back.
Kevin James Ryan
Yes. Brutal. Brutal. The staff's got a bit of a tude to them in a good way. In a lovely endearing.
H. Foley
Tables get covered in the. In the Tully nut sauce.
Kevin James Ryan
In the Tully nut sauce. Cash only.
H. Foley
Cash on the table.
Kevin James Ryan
Cash on the.
H. Foley
Cash on the table.
Kevin James Ryan
Wet cash on the table. Kind of. That's a dive. I love it. But it is. I don't want to paint that a dive because it is kitschy and fun. It's still. It's got a lot of heart to it. It's not a dark dive. It's a fun. No one's really in there running from there, you know, there's not just like some old timer like it's groups of people having fun.
H. Foley
It's not you though. You like a dark dive, don't you?
Kevin James Ryan
I like a dark.
H. Foley
Like a dark dive in the middle of the day.
Kevin James Ryan
I like it.
H. Foley
Yeah.
Kevin James Ryan
The Frolic Room put on a little. The International Bar put on a little
H. Foley
Seeger and think about where it all went wrong.
Kevin James Ryan
This is for this. So this is from Stephen. I actually made a list of one night while attending our local dive bar of what makes a good dive. Cold, cold areas of cold. Cold air conditioning, ice cold beer. Huh. Dark atmosphere.
H. Foley
You.
Kevin James Ryan
This is. You want to see the glow from outside when the doors open.
H. Foley
Oh shit. Fuck, it's only two o' clock out there.
Kevin James Ryan
Winking.
H. Foley
Oh man, that sun comes in.
Kevin James Ryan
Good characters at the bar. You know, crowd. Crowd don't only want to be the ones that. I don't know what the fuck that means. I think this guy's at the corner of the bar right now smoking good jukebox bar food. Sure I would. A lot of good dives don't offer food though. A lot of my favorite dives are kitchenless. There's usually one, maybe two people working there total. It's some. Some, you know, some broad that'll throat chop you if she needs to. She's behind the bar by herself. You know, New York sometimes will be a bouncer out front just because it's fucking sure to keep some vagrants out or whatever, you know, boiled hot dogs.
H. Foley
Like.
Kevin James Ryan
Yeah, I'm proud the burps from the hot I mean, I crush hot dogs. I crushed these bad, bad pool table or darts.
H. Foley
Okay.
Kevin James Ryan
Off the beaten path, so it can't be easily found.
H. Foley
Okay.
Kevin James Ryan
Safe, I. E. Not known for gangs or murders.
H. Foley
What the fuck?
Kevin James Ryan
Unless you know the gang. That's really funny.
H. Foley
What the fuck?
Kevin James Ryan
But that's true. You want it like we said. Like I said, you want it a little edgy, scary. That's scared. But like, you don't want gangs or like, you know, but you want, like. Ah, man, they're. You know, there's a. Tension in here a little bit.
H. Foley
Yeah. Couple of off characters.
Kevin James Ryan
Yeah. They're not stoked I'm here. That's Jimmy. Don't sit in Jimmy's seat. Don't fight. You know, that kind of thing.
H. Foley
I like that. I had that at that. There's an Irish bar on the corner of Crescent and something else in Queens. And I had that one night where, like, I could tell they didn't want us in there. And they were cool. Bartender was cool. But, like, a couple guys went out to have a cigarette and, like, they stopped and talked to us for a second.
Kevin James Ryan
Just. Yes.
H. Foley
I didn't like it. Yeah, I didn't like it at all.
Kevin James Ryan
Hey, man, big fan. Love the show.
H. Foley
No, of course. And then they muttered something under their breath as they stepped outside. And I was with my wife at the time, and she's like, fucking, like, thought it was great. And I was like, finish that.
Kevin James Ryan
We're getting the fuck out.
H. Foley
Didn't get it at all.
Kevin James Ryan
Well, that you don't. I also don't think.
H. Foley
Finish the drink. You dumb, bro.
Kevin James Ryan
They're gonna kill us quick. Grab the money on the table and run. I don't think, you know, most women in my life also aren't hanging out or spending a lot. As much time as I have at a dive to know. To read the signs on the wall, read the room. This is not going. Yeah, this is not. You know, the tides have turned a
H. Foley
little lot of that. You could tell in the ordering.
Kevin James Ryan
I'll do the fuck up, stick and move, which I do have to give to our crew when. Yeah, when we all walk in somewhere and we all know, you know, take that place in San Francisco, real dive that we went to. I would love to see if you can find the name of that. It was across from Cobbs down, probably two blocks across the street.
H. Foley
It's a place I was all dusted up in.
Kevin James Ryan
Towards. Yeah, towards the water. I mean, you're dusted up in a couple of places.
H. Foley
No place I was really High stoned.
Kevin James Ryan
Yeah. Yeah, that was. Yeah, there was a couple of places that that was the case. There was an Italian joint. It's like an Italian cafe.
H. Foley
All right.
Kevin James Ryan
It's not real. I mean, I'm saying we were at a. Multiple places that night is what I'm saying. So it's tough to pinpoint. When you got really stoned, you got so serious.
H. Foley
That was like off the air voice.
Kevin James Ryan
What? Yeah, it's pretty fucked up.
H. Foley
I like that.
Kevin James Ryan
But we walked in and every. Everybody read the room. Yeah, I think it was me, you, Colin, Luke. Sure, that's probably it.
H. Foley
Maybe.
Luke
And Tommy instead of me. I didn't roll with you guys.
Kevin James Ryan
Oh. But you go. I'll turn around. Because I'll. I tend to lead the charge on that one. I'm first man named Skull Bends. You know what I mean? I gotta protect my guys. You're outside. You're as high as Mars right now.
H. Foley
I was trying to figure out the situation. I was trying to solve the situation between the guy and the guy in the car.
Kevin James Ryan
That's the problem.
H. Foley
Work that out.
Kevin James Ryan
So is she. I'm inside.
H. Foley
Yelling at me to come inside.
Kevin James Ryan
Yeah. Goes down. I got me.
H. Foley
I'm solving cases out in San Fran. I'm bringing people together.
Kevin James Ryan
You're like Ruffalo and. What was his name? What I was in. Ruffalo.
H. Foley
What's the Zodiac? Yeah, yeah, he was all right in that. That's about it.
Kevin James Ryan
Okay.
H. Foley
Like the old Ruffalo.
Kevin James Ryan
But you go, what do. I'll go. I'll turn around and go, what are you guys getting? And the crew usually goes, whatever. Like we can tell this isn't. What do you have on tap? Do you have any Prosecco? It's a fucking. I'm getting three, four cans or whatever. Three.
H. Foley
I'm usually pretty good about asking for the. For not asking about something they don't have. I make eye contact with something that they do have, and I say that. I never just order something, especially places like that. We don't have Coors Light. We don't have this.
Kevin James Ryan
I'll literally, if I don't. A lot of most shitty bars will have the run of dusty cans and bottles up on the shelf somewhere. So you can go like, you know, whatever. And if they don't have that, I'll go, what do you have in a can? And they'll go, ba, ba. And I, whatever. This, whatever. The first one I'll like is I stop them there.
H. Foley
I'll give you that. You are very good in those situations. I never really Seen anything. You're flawless. I would say in dive bar situations, I was bored of the doctors, but you know.
Kevin James Ryan
But I'm gonna trash it.
H. Foley
No, we're, you know, we're, we're talking about this, what we like, all that kind of stuff. How to operate in them. I want truth to be known for the bozos and the homies out there. I have had my fair share of fuck ups in dive bars. Oh, pause that. Unfortunately last the evening and tend to get worse. Once a bartender in those places doesn't like, you're dead.
Kevin James Ryan
You. You might as well move.
H. Foley
You will continue. You will continue to make a fool of yourself throughout the evening. I remember the dive bar we were in, in like Nashville or something like that, where the kid when I was ordering the doubles and he's like, that
Kevin James Ryan
was a real honky tonk bar we were at. Yes.
H. Foley
But I kept saying, rick's are raised. Yeah, I wanted a margarit. I didn't want a lot of margarita mix.
Kevin James Ryan
You get to. You. You get too specific in those places.
H. Foley
He's like, do you want to double? I'm like, no, you don't have to double the alcohol. Just less than the thing. But he didn't get that. He's like, you want to pay for a double? Pay for a double. Which you say that to me. I freak out.
Kevin James Ryan
This, and this is, I think everybody in the team, the whole beef with you and ordering. It's a lot of words. It's too many words, too much to say. It's too much having a little bit of this extra that. You can't just go, I'll do a double margarita. Because at a lot of dive bars, it's what you're getting, it's not what you want. It's. Yeah, they're not mixologists. No, the guy's.
H. Foley
You know, I got some orange juice
Kevin James Ryan
back here, but that, that's the, that's the issue. You throw in some music today and there's a. Yeah, you know what? Your city slicking vibes too.
H. Foley
I know you're in there.
Kevin James Ryan
Your hair slick. I walk in there taking business calls.
H. Foley
I sometimes walk in with a bad vibe and I don't even realize it. Usually I'm pretty good.
Kevin James Ryan
Yeah.
H. Foley
Yeah.
Kevin James Ryan
What do you got? You find them?
Luke
I think I got like three options.
Kevin James Ryan
Oh, my God.
Luke
Sweeties. International Sports Bar.
Kevin James Ryan
It might have been International Sports Bar. Let me see. Let me see if I can.
Luke
Dollar bills hanging from the ceiling.
H. Foley
No.
Kevin James Ryan
Oh, you weren't there, so you don't know. I apologize. I apologize. I sent a boy to do a man's job. Hey you Dan. Hey you friggin.
H. Foley
Then tell you the hot vegan place out there.
Kevin James Ryan
I'll tell you a place to get a cuppaccino or whatever the it is.
H. Foley
What's a coopachino?
Luke
Papaccino.
H. Foley
Papaccino were for the dogs.
Kevin James Ryan
Yeah.
H. Foley
Oh, I'd to like that.
Kevin James Ryan
Well, no. What's cupertino? What do you like? Or no Cupertino's where espresso martinis. What's the seafood soup you get?
Luke
Oh, chipino.
Kevin James Ryan
All right. I'm not that far off. Hey, way off.
H. Foley
I was thinking Italian coffee drinks, not Italian mixed seafood dishes with a red sauce. Very good. Me and Diesel had one out there at San Fran.
Kevin James Ryan
Yeah, Internet. The international sports bar, which I don't think there was a TV on in the joint. If I'm being a hunter, if that's for tax purpose, if I'm being 100p. Great dive bar though. Yeah. Two pool tables, tight little corner spot on the angle on one of those angle streets you enter from like the snub nose, like the flatiron side of it.
H. Foley
Great, great, great bar. To walk outside and have a heater.
Kevin James Ryan
All glass windows the whole way around.
H. Foley
Seem coming. Got to in there, see him coming at you.
Kevin James Ryan
I mean it was dollar bills hang from the ceiling. This no frills game day spot with full bar and pool tables. No delivery, no takeout. That's all right.
H. Foley
We were looking over our shoulder in there a little bit.
Kevin James Ryan
Oh yeah. I mean that was the last place I really walked in where I felt.
H. Foley
Oof.
Kevin James Ryan
There was a lot of eyes when I. We did walk in in a kerfuffle of a time too.
H. Foley
Is that one of the last bars we walked into together? In that. In that zone and getting fucked up.
Kevin James Ryan
Yeah. Because that was the last LA trip that ended in the LA trip. La, we need you.
H. Foley
Wait, was that.
Kevin James Ryan
Yes, that was the beginning of the LA trip.
H. Foley
Whoa, man, talk about foreshadowing.
Luke
Beginning of the end
H. Foley
or the beginning.
Kevin James Ryan
This review is toilets available for customers only. Okay. Yikes.
H. Foley
That's them.
Kevin James Ryan
No, that was. That's from the review.
H. Foley
That's awesome. Don't go in there and try to take a dump. They'll yell at you. That's my kind of place.
Kevin James Ryan
Speaking of, I would also argue dive bars. Like you said, it's like you get on the. You get on the bad track. It's tough to get out with the bartenders or staff or what. You're fucked. Which as I was Reading these submissions, it made me think it's got to be really the only kind of establishment this day and age that still has, like a band. You still. It's easy to get banned from a dive bar because it's such a tight knit community. Well, we'll put in the penalty box for a couple of months.
H. Foley
You can't do that at the, like, you know, like the Smith or like some place that has, you know, a management structure.
Kevin James Ryan
What?
H. Foley
You can't get banned from a place.
Kevin James Ryan
That's what I'm saying. Like, you go to the Smith and they're like, yeah. No, the customer's always right.
H. Foley
That's how you get sued. Yeah.
Kevin James Ryan
Bartender loses job. He goes, this guy's giving me. You know what I mean?
H. Foley
He serves some guy. The guy gets fucked up. Guy does something. Yeah. They fire the bartender at the fucking dive bar. Don't ever let me see in here again.
Kevin James Ryan
Two months. Take your time. Two months. Fuck.
H. Foley
I've seen that before. Have you ever seen anybody get banned from a place for like a limited time?
Kevin James Ryan
I don't think so.
H. Foley
Martels would happen all the time.
Kevin James Ryan
That makes. That was. That's an old school joint.
H. Foley
Yeah. Take three months off. Take two months off.
Kevin James Ryan
Clear your head a little bit.
H. Foley
Yeah. They come back.
Kevin James Ryan
Go get some help.
H. Foley
They come back fresh.
Kevin James Ryan
Yeah. Good shave on them. Good shave, nice tan.
H. Foley
This guy Don did that to do that for a while. Came back fresh. Chris came back in the summer. He's like, you know what I do? I take hot showers in the summer. Then you get out.
Kevin James Ryan
It's cool.
H. Foley
Two months later, he was fucking. Fucking in the rafters. Sent him back. Had to send him back down to spring training. Tommy John surgery.
Kevin James Ryan
Put him back into minors for a minute.
H. Foley
His wife would always call the bar. Is Don there now? I haven't seen him. I know he's there. And we would lie and then she would. He lived like around the corner. So she would show up every once in a while screaming at him.
Kevin James Ryan
Crazy.
H. Foley
And he was. He was like an older, good looking dude, sharp, always had a tan, did well. And he'd be like the man. And then man. When he. She walked in and would just shrivel.
Kevin James Ryan
Well, that was for a very long time. My stepdad's drinking spot was like. Right. It was on like a main road. Mm. So his car. You could always, you know, this is like pre calling and not. But if he also. Well, he wasn't a huge, you know, responder. Yeah.
H. Foley
Oh, really? I respect that.
Kevin James Ryan
I mean, like, you couldn't text Him, I mean, you could. Especially later on. You could. But like growing up, he wasn't like an early adopter of.
H. Foley
Okay.
Kevin James Ryan
Being on the text message like, I'm here, just checking in.
H. Foley
Like, he goes radio silent.
Kevin James Ryan
No, not, no.
H. Foley
You know, loves radio silent.
Kevin James Ryan
Bug man. Yeah, I'm well aware. Off the air
H. Foley
you just get that static, flatlining.
Kevin James Ryan
I got nothing. I'm waiting for a beep, a meep, a sweep, something.
H. Foley
See the bug sign in the sky.
Kevin James Ryan
Well, we would drive. We will. A lot of times it would be reported based on seeing his car at the local watering hole, you know what I mean? And be like, oh, where's Joe? Well, I saw it. I saw. I was coming home from work and I saw his car.
H. Foley
So could have been at the dry clean.
Kevin James Ryan
He's dusting off a little bit. Yeah, I was. That was. I'm gonna go down the road and dust off a bit. Go down the road a piece and dust off a bit. Which I respect.
H. Foley
Yeah, I respect it too.
Kevin James Ryan
This one's just funny. This is from Wolf Tail. McGee had to help carry a large girl from the bathroom floor to the back of a cab. Buddy had to pull her in from the other side. It was like we were loading furniture. Bartender, bartender paid us in crown apple shots. Respect that, man.
H. Foley
That poor girl.
Kevin James Ryan
Sure. But you're also. You're doing that small community a service, right? Like the bartender, probably one person. Like again, there's not like a management chain. There's not a front of house, back of house. It's one or two people working a dive bar and they're going, I can't. It could be a woman going, I can't load this larger girl in here. And the dive bar unites and goes, we'll help this. She's. We'll help this citizen of the bar out and get her into a cab. They probably paid for the cab or you know, something took care of it. They were reimbursed for their community service. I think it's a great.
H. Foley
Sure.
Kevin James Ryan
Right?
H. Foley
That's like on a plane. Who's able to do the. Yeah.
Kevin James Ryan
Are you able. Are you able to sit in the exit row like we were loading furniture? That's such a real thought to get her.
H. Foley
Get her ankles.
Kevin James Ryan
You gotta hook it.
H. Foley
Poor lady, man.
Kevin James Ryan
Uh huh.
H. Foley
Getting pulled through the other side.
Kevin James Ryan
Who.
H. Foley
That's tough.
Kevin James Ryan
That's. That ain't great. This one. This one's from Dr. John Becker. Shout out to you, Doc. Whatever local dive bar has an active train about 30ft behind the exit where everyone smokes slash additional parking. Solid drunk ride. Tried to leave and get stuck on the tracks. You don't even have to cross the tracks to leave, but this guy gets caught up on the tracks. Train was coming.
H. Foley
How do you get caught up on the tracks? I thought that was something that happened in silent movies.
Kevin James Ryan
Yeah. I don't know.
H. Foley
How do you. Where do you get your foot caught?
Kevin James Ryan
I know the car. He couldn't get his car.
H. Foley
Why does that always happen? That's crazy.
Kevin James Ryan
I think it's. Yeah, I don't know.
H. Foley
That's something in the universe. There's no way at that specific time your car stalls or you can't get over. That happens way too much.
Kevin James Ryan
I think it's prob. Listen, these aren't fucking, you know, Land Rovers and stuff getting stuck. These are shitty small cars where like I think the rear front wheel drive, it's. It doesn't fuck, you know, it's like a neon trying to end. It's like the chassis gets called on a Ross something. I don't think he's actually. He's probably not crossing at a proper fucking.
H. Foley
Do you think the train operator in the back of their head kind of likes that when one gets caught on there? When it's a car, not like a tractor trail that's gonna like get derailed.
Kevin James Ryan
You gotta think, dude, this is nighttime. The driver don't know. The fucking train conductor don't know that. Don't think that. There's no one in the car.
H. Foley
Oh, that's right. So they're not enjoying it.
Kevin James Ryan
Yeah. He's not going sick. Gary, get up here. He's gone. I'm about to ruin a lot of people's lives. This is about. This is about to be the worst day of my life. Fuck.
H. Foley
Yeah.
Kevin James Ryan
I guess if you didn't know. Fun. Yeah. And you're just like fucking gravedigger in it. Yeah, that would probably be a good time.
H. Foley
That'd be fun.
Kevin James Ryan
I thought I would have to worry about the derailing though.
H. Foley
I don't know. We don't do enough fun stuff with trains like that. Why don't they have like train like smash up derbies or something?
Kevin James Ryan
It's very dangerous.
H. Foley
Think.
Kevin James Ryan
Yeah. I would assume someone would have monetized it if it was.
H. Foley
I'm saying just the engine. You don't got the, the, you know, cars behind it. But like, why don't we do more fun stuff with train engines?
Kevin James Ryan
I think I found a new hobby for you.
H. Foley
I'm slamming to each other or something like that in a controlled environment. Like monster truck shows. Aren't they have like, you know.
Kevin James Ryan
Yeah, but they're kind of static.
H. Foley
You put track in. Idiot.
Kevin James Ryan
Yeah. Do you have anything for this? No.
Luke
I mean, I can't imagine you could pick up steam that quick in like a monster truck arena.
H. Foley
Yeah. Open up the doors of the arena and you start out like that. How sick would that be?
Luke
I'm with it.
H. Foley
Right?
Kevin James Ryan
Yeah. I'm out for that reason. I'm out. All right. But hold on.
H. Foley
Yeah.
Kevin James Ryan
Local dive bar has an active train about 30ft behind the exit where people. Everyone smokes. Slash there's additional parking. Solid drunk guy tried to leave and get stuck on the tracks. You don't have to cross the tracks to leave. Train was coming, so he ripped off his license plate and ran. Everyone ran outside of the bar to watch the train obliterate this car. The whole place erupted in cheers. It was awesome.
H. Foley
That's what I'm talking now.
Kevin James Ryan
Yeah, listen, I.
H. Foley
That's what I'm talking.
Kevin James Ryan
Listen. Yeah, that's a good point.
H. Foley
Now you see it.
Kevin James Ryan
Sure, sure.
H. Foley
But that is a once in a lifetime moment.
Kevin James Ryan
Yeah. That's like. Connor, you can't be selling tickets to that. Hey, Sunday. Sunday. Sunday.
H. Foley
Wow.
Kevin James Ryan
Dude. To be at that bar. The calls. The next morning, Gary got his car stuck. The vibe the fuck up.
H. Foley
Yeah, the vibe in there. When they walked back inside, I was right there.
Kevin James Ryan
I seen. Everybody's telling their version. It's like the Kennedy assassination. That's awesome.
H. Foley
That's.
Kevin James Ryan
There was some. There was a long. Earl. A long time in our early 20s where we really like getting up and you know, seeing stuff. Getting up for that kind of was a good time. Like a big event that not everybody. You know. I don't know. Just like. Remember one time we were looking for. We were looking at implosions of buildings. I think they were blowing up something in Jersey. And me and Pat were like, we gotta get to that. But it was too early. You'd have to. You know what I mean?
H. Foley
I know. They do that. Business hours.
Kevin James Ryan
Yeah.
H. Foley
I think they.
Kevin James Ryan
And I didn't hold normal office hours at the time.
H. Foley
I think they tend to do that because they don't want people to do exactly what you're talking about.
Kevin James Ryan
Sure.
H. Foley
They don't blow up buildings at 4:30. So you can be out there. Pregaming. Which they should.
Kevin James Ryan
They should. I mean in Vegas. They do Vegas. That's. Those are.
H. Foley
That's a thing.
Kevin James Ryan
That's a thing in Vegas.
H. Foley
Yeah. Which is so fucked up.
Kevin James Ryan
Why?
H. Foley
It's just so cutthroat and vicious, but also at the same time. Like when you. When you're the owner of that casino and they blow it up on you,
Kevin James Ryan
I don't think you're the owner anymore.
H. Foley
Obviously.
Kevin James Ryan
That's always too, like. I just. That ambition. I come from such a small, like, blue collar type world where like, to have the ambition of like, I'm gonna buy that casino then blow it the fuck up and rebuild it. Then rebuild it. I guess I look at it from like, everybody in my family's in the trades.
H. Foley
Would you do. Revamp it or just. I can't do that.
Kevin James Ryan
I would just go, yeah, I'm not in the market for a casino. But I think you would keep that.
H. Foley
You would just change the name and keep it this.
Kevin James Ryan
I think so.
H. Foley
Because different, special, Everybody. Everybody change the menu.
Kevin James Ryan
Everybody I know complains about this size of a job. And I just go, that's it. One, you gotta blow it up. Two, you gotta fucking. You gotta have to grade out that land. That's like, how many guys, how many bids? That's just like such a big undertaking where I go, I don't have the time. I got nothing. Throw a coat of paint.
H. Foley
Yeah. Could throw a coat of paint, get to, you know, change the waiter's uniforms.
Kevin James Ryan
Yes. Something, something. I don't have the. We're gonna burn it down. And re.
H. Foley
Nobody would go to that casino.
Kevin James Ryan
Well, that's why. That's why I'm not in the casino biz. Guy.
H. Foley
That's awesome. Takes it step by step out there. All in.
Kevin James Ryan
All right. This one's from the. What a name. Northeast Ohio. It's in Northeast Ohio. Called why Drive By. The owner's name was Dale. Rest in peace. He lived upstairs. He lived off Arizona. Green tea mixed with black velvet whiskey. God damn. That's an old timer. If you ask nicely, he turn on the Christmas lights and run the electric choo choo train around the ceiling.
H. Foley
Oh, I love that.
Kevin James Ryan
Had a wooden bowling machine and a seasonal bowling league. My brother set the place on fire and got free drinks for the night when he scored a perfect 300. Game went down in the history of the place how you done had a dusty jukebox decked out with all of our favorite Motown hits. A hand dryer in the woman's bathroom shot out blue sparks when you push the button. It had a functioning telephone booth in the wall. In the wall space between the men's and women's bathroom. Got bought out and modernized a few years ago. What a time capsule.
H. Foley
Whoa.
Kevin James Ryan
That's the problem.
H. Foley
Well said. Yeah, that was well said.
Kevin James Ryan
Very well said. That some what I was thinking about
H. Foley
the whole time you were reading that is none of that stuff happened immediately. That kind of stuff. That bar at its pinnacle of dive Barness that took time. Yeah, it takes time.
Kevin James Ryan
Takes decades.
H. Foley
I doubt the hairdryer was shooting out sparks the second that they opened.
Kevin James Ryan
No. And then it wasn't every time. It was like every 10th time. And then like we got bigger probably get there and then it was every time then it was just like hey, where's the bathroom to the left. Don't use the dryer. You know what I mean? That kind of thing.
H. Foley
Yeah.
Kevin James Ryan
It takes time or something about. And that smell of like those all like not even bad or good. It's just like this was. This was when you could still smoke in here to not smoking in here. Like you know it's like stained.
H. Foley
Oh yeah.
Kevin James Ryan
The stickiness of the floor. It's like. Yeah.
H. Foley
The smoke smell that wasn't smoking to non smoking is something unique on its own.
Kevin James Ryan
I love a fucking dive bar. Which unfortunately New York they're getting harder and harder to maintain because the rain real estate. So that's why like that Niagara bar is like dirt. That's gonna be the new like a restaurant group owns that. I know that's gonna be the new.
H. Foley
They own the place next door.
Kevin James Ryan
Yeah. Dive.
H. Foley
I don't know now it's like market. But it was like a. I don't like butcher or something.
Kevin James Ryan
Yeah, something cool. I'm sure they're doing great. It's probably a great establishment. And I do like that. That's a good just knock around bar. But that's you know that's not a. That ain't no dive bar. Which are the fewer. Fewer and far between. There's a great one. This is another place. Luke, see if you can find this. It's called the Liffey 2 all the way up in old. It's a holdover in the. In Inwood. Real Irish joint. You go in and it's got like furniture you would have in your basement. You know what I mean? Like it was just someone's couch like that. And that was the time me and my boy went in the Liffey to. On Broadway. Right? Yeah.
H. Foley
Nice.
Kevin James Ryan
See if you can find some of the images they have like the inside. It's just like that's kind of. That looks like even a little more redone. It was like it had like a couch that like somebody was getting rid of and they were like drop it in there. And it was just, like, still smoke stained in a good way. And that was the last place we walked in. And it's. It's a Irish pub in a predominantly Dominican neighborhood at this point, still. With some holdover Irish people and stuff like that.
H. Foley
They work together.
Kevin James Ryan
Yeah. And you walk in and you're like, I don't. They. They all look at you and they're like, we don't fight. We went in on, like, a Wednesday night.
H. Foley
We don't trust each other. We ain't trusting you.
Kevin James Ryan
Yeah. Oh, fuck these guys. And I. It was me and my friend who's Dominican, walked in, said, we do. We look like undercover cops? They're gonna send one of each of us into infantry.
H. Foley
Pack of cigarettes, please.
Kevin James Ryan
And they. They walked in and just sniffed it. We had, like, two beers. Wasn't super well. It just, you know, we weren't there for all night anyway. We were just like. You got that vibe in a good way of like, who better? We're gonna smoke this. We're gonna finish this beer, smoke a shake, and get the fuck on out of here.
H. Foley
That night with me and my brother, I was, you know, a little yacked up.
Kevin James Ryan
Sure.
H. Foley
Very talkative. And I was going around, like, the worst. Yeah, I was. I was like, chatting up people.
Kevin James Ryan
Hey, come here often?
H. Foley
What do you do? This and that. Where you from? Like, man, looking back, lucky I made. We made it out of there.
Kevin James Ryan
Yeah.
H. Foley
Throat slit in the bathroom.
Kevin James Ryan
There's a. There's a place. I don't know if it's still open. I mean, it still looks. It's on Broadway as well, all the way up there called the 21 Bar. And there's like. It's like a go go bar. Like, girls dance on the bar, but, like in bikinis or something. Like, considered bartender. It's not a strip club. It's real small, dude.
H. Foley
It's like, not a go go bar, guy.
Kevin James Ryan
There's probably like 10 seats, maybe seven. 10 seats in there. Is it still open
Luke
on Broadway?
Kevin James Ryan
Yeah, yeah, It's. It's a 100% pure Dominican hangout. And I rolled in there with my boy, and I was just one of those things, like, even, like the bouncers, like, guy, this is. You sure? It was just like. He didn't say anything, but it was like, really? I'm going into. And not enemy terror, but I'm, you know, I'm on the other side.
H. Foley
Just to you specifically.
Kevin James Ryan
Yeah, yeah, yeah, to me specifically. This was years ago too. This was.
H. Foley
He was my man. What are you doing?
Kevin James Ryan
No, but it was like he said something in Spanish to my boy where I don't know if he thought I was a cop or what it was, you know? And I sat in someone's seat.
H. Foley
Oh, yeah, I remember this.
Kevin James Ryan
And it was like there was a conversation. I'm sorry, sir, good day. Or is it conversation in Spanish between my boy and this guy? And my boy's not the kind of guy to relinquish the seat. He was. It was very much. You're fucking sitting there, and now I don't know what's happening. They're going back and forth, and I'm like. I'm trying to get fucking buzzwords or something. He's like, you're sitting in that fucking seat. Because it's like a pride thing for him.
H. Foley
Like, wait until you hear pistola.
Kevin James Ryan
Underlay. Underlay. But, yeah, and then that was another thing where me and him were. Me and him in a lot of iffy situations.
H. Foley
Sure.
Kevin James Ryan
Where we've been like. I was like. He's like, we're finishing these. We're doing two beers. Well, I'm not letting you. Them feel like they're running us out of here.
H. Foley
I like that.
Kevin James Ryan
And I'm. Yeah, I like it in principle. I don't like it when I don't know what the Going on, and I'm the cause of the issue. I said, I'm always the guy in
H. Foley
the wrong seat you got walking in front of the frame.
Kevin James Ryan
Yeah. I'm always the just. They're like, I don't. I get a little too comfy, a little too quick. Crack a joke a little too. You know what I mean? I got a bad face sometimes.
H. Foley
This guy knows what I'm talking about, right?
Kevin James Ryan
Slap on the headline. Ain't that right, baca? All right, we got to wrap it up.
H. Foley
What a fun one.
Kevin James Ryan
Yeah, baby.
H. Foley
Thanks for all the submissions. They were fantastic. Yes, gang, we love you, and we'll see you next week.
Kevin James Ryan
Peace.
Release Date: May 4, 2026
Hosts: H. Foley, Kevin Ryan
This “family episode” of Are You Garbage? is devoted to honoring America’s most charmingly grimy institutions: the great dive bars. Hosts Kevin Ryan and H. Foley, without a guest, trade personal dive bar stories, read listener submissions, and break down classic dive bar etiquette and lore. They dissect what makes a perfect dive, relive memorable nights (and mishaps), and debate the gentrification of classic dives, all with their signature blend of affection, self-deprecation, and Philly/New York trash-talk.
“A dive should be…somewhat empty. There should be…it shouldn’t be wall to wall.” — Kevin, explaining ideal occupancy (08:46)
“That stern kind of buxom broad…spinning the bottle opener on her hand — every dude sitting there going, it’s me, I could get her. You can’t. You can’t and you won’t.” — Kevin (13:01)
“I like a dive that’s kind of not dangerous, but you go like…I’m walking in, there’s regulars, they’re eyeing me. They’re doing the inventory on me.” — Kevin (10:54)
“You can really blow it in a dive bar. And the dive bar is extremely unforgiving at bar faux pas.” — H. Foley (12:30)
“I want a proper Irish. I want to be on the pool table at the bar.” — Kevin, on his ideal wake (17:12)
“That’s a dive bar…There’s not some meth-head driving around with bare feet in. People are going, what’s he up to?” — H. Foley on dangerous elements as a sign of authenticity (10:46)
“The great thing about a New York City dive — half the people are posted the fuck up, the other half are cycling in and out...” — Kevin (08:46)
Throughout, Kevin and Foley mix authentic nostalgia, relentless ribbing, and a kind of wistful resignation about growing older (“I’m getting old…not the young gunslinger you used to be…” – 09:39). There’s a respect for the unwritten rules of dives, a recognition of their endangered status, and a celebration of the regulars, weirdos, and unforgettable moments that only take place beneath neon beer signs and sticky floors.
Essential Lesson:
Dives are less about what’s in your glass and more about what’s in the air — the history, the relationships, the little rituals, and the very specific kind of lawlessness that makes you feel both welcome and on edge. If you have to ask if you belong, you probably don’t — and that’s exactly as it should be.
End:
A raucous, affectionate tribute to dive bars and the “garbage” within us all.