Podcast Summary: "The Fattest Kid in Town"

Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast
Hosts: Kevin Ryan & H. Foley
Date: November 3, 2025

Overview

In this family edition of the "Are You Garbage?" podcast, hosts Kevin Ryan and H. Foley reminisce about their childhoods, discuss personal stories of being "fattened up" as kids, and dive into the nuanced world of classic snacks, family quirks, and unconventional financial strategies. As always, they field questions from their Patreon listeners to determine if certain behaviors make someone "garbage." The episode, as is tradition, is brimming with self-deprecating humor, hilarious banter, and genuine camaraderie between the hosts and their producer, Luke Dempsey.

Main Themes & Segments

1. Childhood Memories & “Fat Kid” Stories

(05:15–08:24)

• Grocery Store Shenanigans:
  Both hosts recall their childhood patterns of eating and sneaking snacks at the grocery store with their moms.
  • Kevin: “The fattest kid in the whole damn town, man.” (05:55)
  • Foley: “I was bad fat too. I was—I wasn't cute fat. You know what I mean? I wasn't like Santa fat. It was like, you know, he's obese. Plus throwing in a bad haircut that I did myself or something.” (07:49)
• Relatable Antics:
  Foley recounts sitting in the grocery cart late into childhood, surrounded by food; Kevin admits to eating bread rolls on the go.
  • Kevin: “I'd rip the top off [an Amorosa roll], put it in my pocket, and then eat out the middle. Soft dough first. That's what I would do.” (06:21)

2. Snacks and Food Culture

(09:46–17:29)

• German In-Law Hospitality:
  Kevin discusses his recent trip to Germany and the cultural distinction of leaving out shelled peanuts and high-quality snacks for guests.
  • Kevin: “They had, you know, a snack of something, you know, out for people just there… Full shelled peanuts.” (09:46–10:25)
• Peanuts vs. Pistachios:
  Debating the classiness of different nuts, with nostalgia for old-school, red-dyed pistachios.
  • Foley: “Pistachios are—they’re all blown out at this point… so let the peanut come back. I like that.” (16:47)
  • “The honey nut Cheerio of the peanut.” (14:40, Kevin on honey roasted peanuts)
• Bread & Butter Rituals:
  Kevin describes eating giant slabs of German bread in hiding—
  • “I go over there, cut a big slab, a big slab of brown bread, water, scurry upstairs to my room, eat it in my bed, do my feeding.” (15:14)

3. Patreon Q&A — Determining What’s Garbage

(20:39–59:56; various times)

• Ridiculous Wedding Story [23:01]
  Listeners share tales, such as a wedding held in a backyard adjacent to a flea market, officiated by a brother in a pope costume, with lyrics from “WAP” and “Let the Bodies Hit the Floor” in the vows.

  • Kevin: “I feel if the officiant of the wedding is doing mushrooms dressed as the pope, that's not his first time. He can handle himself.” (24:48)
  • Verdict: Fun, trashy, but lovable.

• Bathroom Catastrophes at Social Events [25:22–29:17]
  Discussing the embarrassment of needing to “drop a bomb” at a company happy hour.

  • Foley: “Because I’m fat, and it’s worse than other things… mine’s worse than most.” (27:24–28:00)
  • Widespread agreement it’s garbage, but relatable.

• Financial Desperation & Credit Card ‘Chess Moves’ [36:15-44:21]

  • Listener trades a PlayStation 4 he bought with a Kohl’s credit card for cash at GameStop.
    • Kevin: “This guy’s kind of doing it to himself, if I’m being honest.” (41:36)
  • The group delves into APR rates, store cards, payment plans, and the notion of ‘debtors prison’—punctuated by personal confessions of financial mishaps.
    • Foley: “Does Con Ed really turn your power off?” (43:00)
  • Luke: “You actually cannot serve time for simply not paying a civil debt.” (57:31)
    • Foley: “Nice.”

• Abandoning Belongings After Foreclosure [47:24–49:53]

  • Leaving a six-foot entertainment system, pool table, and couch behind when losing a house.
    • Foley: “Nah, fuck ‘em.” (47:24)
    • Kevin: “That’s part of their job.” (47:25)

• Ratting Out Friends for a Pardon After Prison [52:14–54:11]

  • Discussing how much money it would take for someone to keep quiet post-prison.
    • Foley: “Four million. You gotta figure I was violated when I was in there.” (53:51)
    • Kevin: “You want more than you make now for not working.” (54:36)

4. Iconic Food and Snack Nostalgia

(59:23–62:27)

• 711 Wedding Date/Sponsorship:
  A listener plans to get married on July 11th hoping for sponsorship from 7-Eleven.
  • Kevin: “I’d want, like, something, you know, between the ceremony and the cocktail, Slurpee.” (59:23)
  • The hosts recount their own history with 7-Eleven taquitos, Slurpees, and even hamburger hot dogs.

Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• Foley on Being a Bad Houseguest:
  “Man cracking [peanuts] open, looking through the fridge. I was a bad house guest. I was a real, real bad house guest.” (11:08)

• Kevin on Growing Up Fat:
  “I was thin. I was normal till about probably seven.” (07:33)

• On Payday Mishaps:
  “I've got portfolio recovery calling me every day. I don't know about what. Not answering. Does kind of be a couple hundred bucks.” (42:57)

• On School Bathrooms:
  “If you got caught pooping at school, that was hard...that was a façade level activity.” (28:01–28:18, Kevin & Foley)

• Foley on House Foreclosure:
  “I rent. Can’t foreclose on me. I foreclosed on myself.” (48:16)

Timestamps for Key Segments

• Fat Kid & Grocery Store Stories: 05:15–08:24
• Peanut & Snack Culture, Germany: 09:46–17:29
• Patreon Q&A Begins: 20:39
• Wild Wedding Story: 23:01
• Bathroom & Diarrhea at Happy Hour: 25:22–29:17
• Financial Desperation via Store Credit Cards: 36:15–44:21
• Abandoning Houses/Foreclosure Woes: 47:24–49:53
• 'How Much to Rat?' Discussion: 52:14–54:11
• 711 Wedding, Taquito Tales: 59:23–62:27

Conclusion & Tone

This episode strikes a perfect balance of trash talk, nostalgic reflection, and genuine relatability. The hosts’ willingness to expose their youthful and adult failings—in eating, finances, or life strategy—makes for an entertaining and uniquely candid listen. The playful cut-downs, over-the-top metaphors, and Philly-tinged affection create a space for listeners to laugh at their own “garbage” quirks.

“Every problem is really a solution.”
— Edge Foley, (32:22)

If you’ve ever cringed at your own supermarket habits, creative money-scheming, or your inability to leave the snack table, you’ll feel right at home in the AYG trash pile this week.