The Fattest Kid in Town w/ Kevin Ryan & H. Foley

Summary

Podcast Summary: "The Fattest Kid in Town"

Are You Garbage? Comedy Podcast
Hosts: Kevin Ryan & H. Foley
Date: November 3, 2025

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Overview

In this family edition of the "Are You Garbage?" podcast, hosts Kevin Ryan and H. Foley reminisce about their childhoods, discuss personal stories of being "fattened up" as kids, and dive into the nuanced world of classic snacks, family quirks, and unconventional financial strategies. As always, they field questions from their Patreon listeners to determine if certain behaviors make someone "garbage." The episode, as is tradition, is brimming with self-deprecating humor, hilarious banter, and genuine camaraderie between the hosts and their producer, Luke Dempsey.

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Main Themes & Segments

1. Childhood Memories & “Fat Kid” Stories

(05:15–08:24)

• Grocery Store Shenanigans:
  Both hosts recall their childhood patterns of eating and sneaking snacks at the grocery store with their moms.
  • Kevin: “The fattest kid in the whole damn town, man.” (05:55)
  • Foley: “I was bad fat too. I was—I wasn't cute fat. You know what I mean? I wasn't like Santa fat. It was like, you know, he's obese. Plus throwing in a bad haircut that I did myself or something.” (07:49)
• Relatable Antics:
  Foley recounts sitting in the grocery cart late into childhood, surrounded by food; Kevin admits to eating bread rolls on the go.
  • Kevin: “I'd rip the top off [an Amorosa roll], put it in my pocket, and then eat out the middle. Soft dough first. That's what I would do.” (06:21)

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2. Snacks and Food Culture

(09:46–17:29)

• German In-Law Hospitality:
  Kevin discusses his recent trip to Germany and the cultural distinction of leaving out shelled peanuts and high-quality snacks for guests.
  • Kevin: “They had, you know, a snack of something, you know, out for people just there… Full shelled peanuts.” (09:46–10:25)
• Peanuts vs. Pistachios:
  Debating the classiness of different nuts, with nostalgia for old-school, red-dyed pistachios.
  • Foley: “Pistachios are—they’re all blown out at this point… so let the peanut come back. I like that.” (16:47)
  • “The honey nut Cheerio of the peanut.” (14:40, Kevin on honey roasted peanuts)
• Bread & Butter Rituals:
  Kevin describes eating giant slabs of German bread in hiding—
  • “I go over there, cut a big slab, a big slab of brown bread, water, scurry upstairs to my room, eat it in my bed, do my feeding.” (15:14)

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3. Patreon Q&A — Determining What’s Garbage

(20:39–59:56; various times)

• Ridiculous Wedding Story [23:01]
  Listeners share tales, such as a wedding held in a backyard adjacent to a flea market, officiated by a brother in a pope costume, with lyrics from “WAP” and “Let the Bodies Hit the Floor” in the vows.

  • Kevin: “I feel if the officiant of the wedding is doing mushrooms dressed as the pope, that's not his first time. He can handle himself.” (24:48)
  • Verdict: Fun, trashy, but lovable.

• Bathroom Catastrophes at Social Events [25:22–29:17]
  Discussing the embarrassment of needing to “drop a bomb” at a company happy hour.

  • Foley: “Because I’m fat, and it’s worse than other things… mine’s worse than most.” (27:24–28:00)
  • Widespread agreement it’s garbage, but relatable.

• Financial Desperation & Credit Card ‘Chess Moves’ [36:15-44:21]

  • Listener trades a PlayStation 4 he bought with a Kohl’s credit card for cash at GameStop.
    • Kevin: “This guy’s kind of doing it to himself, if I’m being honest.” (41:36)
  • The group delves into APR rates, store cards, payment plans, and the notion of ‘debtors prison’—punctuated by personal confessions of financial mishaps.
    • Foley: “Does Con Ed really turn your power off?” (43:00)
  • Luke: “You actually cannot serve time for simply not paying a civil debt.” (57:31)
    • Foley: “Nice.”

• Abandoning Belongings After Foreclosure [47:24–49:53]

  • Leaving a six-foot entertainment system, pool table, and couch behind when losing a house.
    • Foley: “Nah, fuck ‘em.” (47:24)
    • Kevin: “That’s part of their job.” (47:25)

• Ratting Out Friends for a Pardon After Prison [52:14–54:11]

  • Discussing how much money it would take for someone to keep quiet post-prison.
    • Foley: “Four million. You gotta figure I was violated when I was in there.” (53:51)
    • Kevin: “You want more than you make now for not working.” (54:36)

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4. Iconic Food and Snack Nostalgia

(59:23–62:27)

• 711 Wedding Date/Sponsorship:
  A listener plans to get married on July 11th hoping for sponsorship from 7-Eleven.
  • Kevin: “I’d want, like, something, you know, between the ceremony and the cocktail, Slurpee.” (59:23)
  • The hosts recount their own history with 7-Eleven taquitos, Slurpees, and even hamburger hot dogs.

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• Foley on Being a Bad Houseguest:
  “Man cracking [peanuts] open, looking through the fridge. I was a bad house guest. I was a real, real bad house guest.” (11:08)

• Kevin on Growing Up Fat:
  “I was thin. I was normal till about probably seven.” (07:33)

• On Payday Mishaps:
  “I've got portfolio recovery calling me every day. I don't know about what. Not answering. Does kind of be a couple hundred bucks.” (42:57)

• On School Bathrooms:
  “If you got caught pooping at school, that was hard...that was a façade level activity.” (28:01–28:18, Kevin & Foley)

• Foley on House Foreclosure:
  “I rent. Can’t foreclose on me. I foreclosed on myself.” (48:16)

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Timestamps for Key Segments

• Fat Kid & Grocery Store Stories: 05:15–08:24
• Peanut & Snack Culture, Germany: 09:46–17:29
• Patreon Q&A Begins: 20:39
• Wild Wedding Story: 23:01
• Bathroom & Diarrhea at Happy Hour: 25:22–29:17
• Financial Desperation via Store Credit Cards: 36:15–44:21
• Abandoning Houses/Foreclosure Woes: 47:24–49:53
• 'How Much to Rat?' Discussion: 52:14–54:11
• 711 Wedding, Taquito Tales: 59:23–62:27

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Conclusion & Tone

This episode strikes a perfect balance of trash talk, nostalgic reflection, and genuine relatability. The hosts’ willingness to expose their youthful and adult failings—in eating, finances, or life strategy—makes for an entertaining and uniquely candid listen. The playful cut-downs, over-the-top metaphors, and Philly-tinged affection create a space for listeners to laugh at their own “garbage” quirks.

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“Every problem is really a solution.”
— Edge Foley, (32:22)

If you’ve ever cringed at your own supermarket habits, creative money-scheming, or your inability to leave the snack table, you’ll feel right at home in the AYG trash pile this week.

Transcript

[Edge Foley]

Atlanta. Philadelphia. Philadelphia.

[Kevin Ryan]

Atlanta.

[Edge Foley]

Atlanta. Philadelphia. Philadelphia, Atlanta. The boys are coming so grab the squad and come out and see us.

[Kevin Ryan]

Yeah, we do stand up, then we play ayg with the crowd. These have been our best shows yet. Get your tickets are youe garbage dot com. We'll see you there.

[Edge Foley]

Welcome to another exciting edition of are you Garbage? The show where you find out if your favorite comedians are classy individuals or absolute trash. Now here are your hosts, Kevin Ryan and H. Foley. Hey, everybody out there and welcome back to everybody's favorite podcast. This is are you garbage? Oh, yeah, it's that little show. We sit down with your favorite comedians and we find that you can be classy. Yeah, they're just a big old piece of trash.

[Luke Dempsey]

Garbage.

[Edge Foley]

I'm your host, Edge Foley. Coming at you on a beautiful day. We're out back here at Tooties in the new edition. She's trying out a new Halloween costume.

[Kevin Ryan]

Okay, easy does. A family program, you know what I'm saying?

[Edge Foley]

Okay, two Snickers boys. My ghost is coming at you from across the fun sized. Who you been talking to? I'm a king sized man. You know they split them up in a two now.

[Kevin Ryan]

You like them king sized, bit of a size king.

[Edge Foley]

This is what we call a family episode.

[Kevin Ryan]

You didn't introduce me.

[Edge Foley]

I'm getting to you. Just the boys, the bozos and the homies.

[Kevin Ryan]

Yeah. Wieners on the brain.

[Edge Foley]

Kevin, James Ryan is with me.

[Kevin Ryan]

Everybody is with you. Like I just stopped by. What's up? Everybody shout out to the well, sorry.

[Edge Foley]

Kevin, we gotta keep moving on.

[Kevin Ryan]

Thanks for tuning in as always. Please make sure you rate View subscribe on itunes. Full video available on YouTube. Full video available over there on Spotify and charts. Meaty part of the meaty part of the curve over there on a chart. So boys are climbing the charts.

[Edge Foley]

Not show people that they're like, damn, you guys are doing all right.

[Kevin Ryan]

We're doing all right. Charts and Spotify, we got a popular program over here. Shout out to it. Then obviously the greatest website of all time. You pull your little pen, your little Pencil, your whatever. Www.patreon.com Are you garbage? You go over there, you join. What do you, what do you think? We got a couple, couple hundred people over there. We got 15,000 strong. 15,000 homies. 15,000. That's a goddamn army where I come from. And then obviously Philadelphia and Atlanta get those tickets to the live shows. AYG Live. We're going to be at the Met, we're going to be at the Buckhead Theater. November and December. Get those tickets.

[Edge Foley]

Philly. Let's fucking go.

[Kevin Ryan]

Yeah.

[Edge Foley]

Embarrassing me down there. Got a couple of Phillies players coming. Luke, what are you doing over there now? We're about to take a walk by the corner office. And you get up. You know, Luke has studio sneakers.

[Kevin Ryan]

Sure.

[Edge Foley]

It's like Mr. Rogers. You're a very organized young man.

[Luke Dempsey]

Thank you.

[Kevin Ryan]

You, not so much.

[Edge Foley]

Not so much. I tell you, a little bit of talent, some nepotism, really go a long way, doesn't it?

[Luke Dempsey]

Goes far in this world.

[Edge Foley]

Dad got him his job.

[Kevin Ryan]

We've never met his dad.

[Edge Foley]

I've met his dad.

[Kevin Ryan]

Why? Me too. Thanks. Hey. Hey. Thanks for. Yes. Ending that. I've met him.

[Edge Foley]

I met him. I met your dad. I called him. Mr. Dempsey said they call him Lou.

[Kevin Ryan]

You guys are the same age.

[Edge Foley]

What's he.

[Luke Dempsey]

You called him sir?

[Kevin Ryan]

Yeah. Oh, hey, sir. You. Dude. Anybody that you meet, anybody's dad, they could just be a dad. You treat them like they're a colone in the army. I love what you did at the Bay of Pigs. You get all serious.

[Edge Foley]

No, that was bad.

[Kevin Ryan]

I know. I'm joking, okay?

[Edge Foley]

That was the Bay of Pigs. Bay of Pigs on the blanket, huh? You know what I mean? Which is funny, you know, Wilkes Barre.

[Kevin Ryan]

You got a bed of pigs. What?

[Edge Foley]

In Wilkesburg, we don't call them. We don't call cocktail weenies wrapped in pastry, pigs in a blanket. We call pigs in a blanket stuffed cabbage with a sweet, sweet red sauce. That's what we call pigs in the blanket.

[Luke Dempsey]

What's Foley in a blanket?

[Edge Foley]

I beg your pardon? Punk. Anyway, say a nice little hello to.

[Kevin Ryan]

Luke Dempsey, everybody of the Dempsey Group and all subsidiaries.

[Edge Foley]

All subsidiaries. Stopping by to say hi. Can we say this?

[Kevin Ryan]

Sure. I don't know. I don't. I listen. Yeah, we're about three minutes in. I can't get a read on you. You just spilled your drink. You can say whatever you want. It may or may not make the program.

[Edge Foley]

Happy birthday, Pat.

[Kevin Ryan]

Happy birthday, Lucas Patukas.

[Luke Dempsey]

Hey.

[Edge Foley]

From Ryan in the back. Happy birthday, kid.

[Luke Dempsey]

Appreciate all of you.

[Edge Foley]

Now, you get a check or anything like that?

[Luke Dempsey]

Not yet.

[Edge Foley]

You think that'll be coming?

[Luke Dempsey]

I wouldn't assume that. Really? I don't think birthday bonus is a thing.

[Edge Foley]

No, not from us. I know you're not getting fourth quarter, all right? We're slashing prices.

[Kevin Ryan]

IRS comes knocking.

[Edge Foley]

Yeah, I don't know if you're. I don't know if you're reading the trades, all right?

[Kevin Ryan]

That's Philadelphia, Pennsylvania.

[Edge Foley]

The bubble's popping. You know what I'm saying? Getting. I ain't talking about no hubbub, bubba. Do you get a check from your parents? No. You don't. You don't get a birthday gift, not a check, do you? These rich people do it. I'd be looking for a check.

[Kevin Ryan]

You always. You're looking. You just. Every time you go down to Patty's, you're shaking her down, going through her fucking coat pockets in the. In the car. I remember doing that the one day, man. Because Denise. Because Denise would get flustered at the checkout, right? So she'd get flustered with the people.

[Edge Foley]

You'Re ripping at the fucking dinner rolls.

[Kevin Ryan]

No, whenever. I wouldn't be there because people behind her. She's got to get the bags.

[Edge Foley]

When you wouldn't be there.

[Kevin Ryan]

Yeah, like she would. You know I would.

[Edge Foley]

You were on bagging duty, right?

[Kevin Ryan]

What do you mean?

[Edge Foley]

Like, when you go to the grocery store with your mom, she say, start bagging.

[Kevin Ryan]

Yeah, but I stopped doing that at a younger age.

[Edge Foley]

Why?

[Kevin Ryan]

I don't know. She just would go. Probably when she wasn't. When I was at my dad, she would go food shopping.

[Edge Foley]

Couldn't bring you with her.

[Kevin Ryan]

Eat her out of house in him. These are trying to eat me out of house in him. That's what she would do.

[Edge Foley]

It's an extra 100, easy. When you're in there, they see you stocking the halls. Bad. Bad Leroy Brown coming down.

[Kevin Ryan]

The fattest kid in the whole damn town, man.

[Edge Foley]

Catch you over at the frozen food section. All the doors are all fogged up because you've been looking.

[Kevin Ryan]

Everything. Everything's melted. I. I would. I was always good for an Amorosa roll while I was walking around.

[Edge Foley]

Shut your fat ass.

[Kevin Ryan]

And I would rip the top off, put it in my pocket and then eat out the middle. Soft dough first. That's what I would do.

[Edge Foley]

Hot stuff.

[Kevin Ryan]

I was only like, 14.

[Edge Foley]

14. How late were you sitting in that cart? I'd imagine pretty late.

[Kevin Ryan]

I was a big kid. You fucking nuts?

[Edge Foley]

You walking in three months, she's just dragging you.

[Kevin Ryan]

I have. My one cousin's huge. You've met him. Big kid. He was big his whole life. Big Big. His whole. I mean, he was the size of, like, an eighth grader when he was three. And he. My aunt would take him to the playground and everybody thought he was, like, developmentally challenged because they thought he was like, six. And, like, he was. They'd be like, hey, how. It's your name? And he couldn't talk yet.

[Edge Foley]

Kids Got a hog on him.

[Kevin Ryan]

He's over in the corner smoking a heater. Yeah, no, I like getting in the. I like getting in the big part of the cart. That was.

[Edge Foley]

Oh, that's the best.

[Luke Dempsey]

She.

[Kevin Ryan]

Sometimes she would let it slide, sometimes she wouldn't.

[Edge Foley]

Sitting on some waffles or something.

[Kevin Ryan]

Yeah, man. They would pile it all around you that you thought you were the cool. That was like what they did in movies and sitcoms. You didn't get to do that in real life. You know what I mean?

[Edge Foley]

That little bastard. You're just laying in a bunch of buttered.

[Kevin Ryan]

I was probably. I was thin. I was normal till about probably seven.

[Edge Foley]

I was always big.

[Kevin Ryan]

I was like. I think I was a big kid, like, baby. But then, like, I remember being thin. I don't even see pictures of like, I'm just a normal sized 6 year old.

[Edge Foley]

I was bad fat too. I was. I wasn't cute fat. You know what I mean? I wasn't like Santa fat. It was like, you know, he's obese. Plus throwing a bad haircut that I did myself or something.

[Kevin Ryan]

Got gum in there again.

[Edge Foley]

Really lunched it. I must have got gum in my hair like every three weeks. I swear to God, I loved gum. It was a big time for gum. Bubblicious. Hubba Bubba.

[Kevin Ryan]

Is it me or is that a lot of gums? That's a lot.

[Edge Foley]

Orange Bubblicious. That was my favorite, man. We'll be right back.

[Kevin Ryan]

You're a big. You're like a blooming onion.

[Edge Foley]

That's like painting, sculpting.

[Kevin Ryan]

Anyway, I got a little something for you.

[Edge Foley]

What do you got for me?

[Kevin Ryan]

As you may or may not have known, I just returned back from Deutschland, the motherland. We had taken the. The baby over there to meet his German ancestors.

[Edge Foley]

Is it the motherland? Is that what they call it? Or is it the fatherland? It's Russia and Germany is one of them.

[Kevin Ryan]

I don't know, man, because I remember.

[Edge Foley]

That quote from World War I. It's sweet and dignified to die for the fatherland.

[Kevin Ryan]

I think that was Germany or I would say father.

[Edge Foley]

That sounds faza. Wait, fatherland is Germany or fatherland?

[Kevin Ryan]

I would say German. I don't know though. I was saying motherland is just in the homeland. I think. I think that's been adopted as your motherland is your homeland. I don't know though. Do you have anything specific?

[Luke Dempsey]

I was big in World War II, Nazi era propaganda.

[Kevin Ryan]

All right, easy does it. And we're back.

[Edge Foley]

Go Birds.

[Kevin Ryan]

I so am I You know, this might be a cultural thing. I'm not sure. Huh.

[Edge Foley]

Paper in the waste basket.

[Kevin Ryan]

What?

[Edge Foley]

The toilet paper in the waste basket.

[Kevin Ryan]

No, that's not doing that over there. No, that's like. That's places with bad plumbing. That's like Brazil.

[Edge Foley]

Yikes. That deposit back down the island. Talk about a caldera, huh folks? Plenty of a topographical humor.

[Kevin Ryan]

Sure, I'm listening. This is. My. My in laws did this and I was just shocked. And I. I mean this may be a blind spot to me. I don't think I've ever went to a home where I've seen this out. They had, you know, a snack of something, you know, out for people just there. Uh huh.

[Edge Foley]

Who was there?

[Kevin Ryan]

No, I mean just people were coming and going, seeing it, coming to see us. But like this was just like. This was like. You want. This was just on the table, on the counter. So. Luke, Luke, roll the tape in. Shelled, full shelled peanuts.

[Edge Foley]

Who was playing Double header.

[Kevin Ryan]

It's. It looks classy, right? I mean I Listen.

[Edge Foley]

Did you throw them on the floor when you were done with it?

[Kevin Ryan]

That's what I'm. You only ever do it like ball games in Texas Roadhouse. You know what I mean? You do it at the double deuce.

[Edge Foley]

I'm surprised nobody says anything to me when I do that at baseball game. I make a mess.

[Kevin Ryan]

Yeah, you do. It gets into people's hair in front of you and stuff. It's bad. It's bad.

[Edge Foley]

Actually it's a real ball game experience.

[Kevin Ryan]

But I don't know how you're not. They make a mess by nature.

[Edge Foley]

Yeah.

[Kevin Ryan]

They're in messy places, restaurants. I don't hate it. I love it. I doubt. But then I'm doing it over the trash can and I'm. And I'm. I can't enjoy it.

[Edge Foley]

You look like a sl.

[Kevin Ryan]

Man cracking them open, looking through the fridge. I was a bad house guest. I was a real, real bad house guest.

[Edge Foley]

You can't not look like you're asking.

[Kevin Ryan]

For money eating whole peanuts.

[Edge Foley]

Yeah. How much he make? Just.

[Kevin Ryan]

You look like you're riding trains town to town. It's bad. Oh, peanuts. Like no one like. But grab a handful of stuff, go back. That's. I Cuz it seemed refined.

[Edge Foley]

You're picking butts out of the ashtray. Stole them on that.

[Kevin Ryan]

Catch a stinger out of this.

[Edge Foley]

Yeah, empty him out. Roll them into one.

[Kevin Ryan]

Yeah, I. I mean in.

[Edge Foley]

What else is there?

[Kevin Ryan]

That was. This is my thing. It was very situational where it seemed classy. I just don't know. My history with peanuts in the shell is ball game carnival, you know, Circus Texas Roadhouse, Strip club. Strip club. Where the hell are you going?

[Edge Foley]

You never been to a strip club that had peanuts?

[Kevin Ryan]

What shell or like D shell, you know, honey roasted. Forget about it. At the bar.

[Edge Foley]

Patty had them.

[Kevin Ryan]

Something.

[Edge Foley]

Patty had them. They're so much better when they came out of that, that, that the glass jar, man. Man, they are dry roasted so good. Suck all the water out.

[Kevin Ryan]

The honey roasted.

[Edge Foley]

Crush it.

[Kevin Ryan]

The first time I bought that I. I was really losing weight. That was my snack instead.

[Edge Foley]

The honey nut. Cheerio of the peanut.

[Kevin Ryan]

Oh, baby, that, that, that in the diet Coke. It gets stuck up here and like a horse, dude. That's how he got Mr. Ed to talk, man.

[Edge Foley]

What else was on the accoutre mall?

[Kevin Ryan]

That was just all day every day. That wasn't like nobody was coming. That was just like.

[Edge Foley]

We had some peanuts.

[Kevin Ryan]

Yeah, just peanuts out. Which was rare. I've been able to eat them. My wife was, you know, dabbling.

[Edge Foley]

Yeah, I'm into it. I like it.

[Kevin Ryan]

I don't hate it.

[Edge Foley]

It was pistachios.

[Kevin Ryan]

That's classier than a peanut though.

[Edge Foley]

Theoretically. Yeah.

[Luke Dempsey]

No debate.

[Kevin Ryan]

No, I don't know.

[Edge Foley]

I don't know about now though. The pistachio, I mean, dude, I don't know where the fuck they see.

[Kevin Ryan]

Yeah, you're crazy.

[Edge Foley]

I don't know. Listen.

[Kevin Ryan]

No, listen. No, I won't.

[Edge Foley]

I don't know where the fuck they found all these pistachios. But back in the day they were like hard to find a little bit. Now they're fucking everywhere.

[Kevin Ryan]

That's with everything though.

[Edge Foley]

Where they're getting them from now. What do you mean they're everywhere?

[Kevin Ryan]

It's all AI.

[Edge Foley]

I mean they got the 40 pounds.

[Kevin Ryan]

I know 40 pound bags. Can I tell you something? I didn't know. I only knew the red ones. And I've told you this. My stepdad would eat them and his mouth and his mouth and hands would be all red and they'd have. He'd have a bag of them in his. He'd have a bag of them in his cup holder in his, in his truck and he crank Winston's and the Winston's would turn red because he was. And I didn't know. And then I saw plain ones and I'm like, I'll eat plain ones.

[Edge Foley]

I don't know why the red ones that got old school guys ate the red.

[Kevin Ryan]

They were pink. I. I didn't get it at all.

[Luke Dempsey]

Yeah.

[Kevin Ryan]

But yeah, they got a lot, you know, they, they typically kept the, if I'm in town, they'll keep a couple of, they'll get a couple of soft pretzels for me. Fresh break soft pretzels. Her mom made soft pretzels. Like they just got better stuff in.

[Edge Foley]

The soft pretzel over there.

[Kevin Ryan]

Dude, she did like super pretzels. One day she made 20 soup. Like what are super, like frozen out of a box, sprinkle them with some water, throw. I mean, these things.

[Edge Foley]

She made them like from scratch.

[Kevin Ryan]

No, I just said they were like frozen in a box. You would have thought you were at a frickin bakery. It was so good. I crushed about two or three of them. But yeah, they got, I'm typically bread and butter. I try to keep a low profile.

[Edge Foley]

Bread and butter?

[Kevin Ryan]

Yeah.

[Edge Foley]

What do you mean?

[Kevin Ryan]

Like that's just, they just have a huge loaf, like a huge round loaf of brown German bread.

[Edge Foley]

Where? Just on the table.

[Kevin Ryan]

What do you mean where? In the bathroom.

[Edge Foley]

As a snack?

[Kevin Ryan]

No, like in that bag directly behind it.

[Edge Foley]

Okay.

[Kevin Ryan]

Yeah.

[Edge Foley]

So just during the day you're just eating bread and butter?

[Kevin Ryan]

Well, I'm waiting till everybody leaves and then I'll do my feeding. Yeah, I'm not like, I try to keep a low profile, you know, I go over there, cut a big slab, a big slab of brown bread, water, scurry upstairs to my room, eat it in my bed, do my feeding.

[Edge Foley]

You have to split it with other rats out in the alleyway.

[Kevin Ryan]

I'll trade you my crust for a peanut. I got an apple core.

[Edge Foley]

I'll tell you what, the number one peanut on that, on that bowl is that dark one right there.

[Kevin Ryan]

I don't mess. Those go right out the window.

[Edge Foley]

I love those. Oh, nice and burnt. Yeah, that's the one I'm talking about.

[Kevin Ryan]

Luke.

[Edge Foley]

What's that thing?

[Kevin Ryan]

Whoa.

[Edge Foley]

Is that a little portal?

[Kevin Ryan]

Whoa.

[Edge Foley]

Now what can you do with that?

[Kevin Ryan]

All right. He's like, what are you, an ms? Paint? Zip it, will you?

[Luke Dempsey]

Was there a shell bowl?

[Kevin Ryan]

No, trash. So that's why I don't know where people are. I, I, I didn't my.

[Edge Foley]

Who else was you?

[Kevin Ryan]

Said it was just my wife. I saw my wife cracking a couple.

[Edge Foley]

What was she cracking? Them.

[Kevin Ryan]

She caught me taking the picture. She's like, what's that for? You got caught red handed. This is a Patreon episode, right?

[Edge Foley]

You like having peanuts around, eh?

[Kevin Ryan]

I go and I told her, I go, you only see these in a lowly, you know, lowly establishments that I Frequent with my hooligans.

[Edge Foley]

I like it, but.

[Kevin Ryan]

Yeah, a nice touch. I felt fun move.

[Edge Foley]

But what I was saying, pistachios are. They're all blown out at this point. They're run through, as the kids say.

[Kevin Ryan]

I. Was that what they say? I don't know what you mean.

[Edge Foley]

I mean, sure, they're not as special as they once were, so let the peanut come back. I like that.

[Kevin Ryan]

I'm not putting.

[Edge Foley]

I like the walnut, to be honest with you.

[Kevin Ryan]

She said we. She goes, we also do walnuts and have the crackers there.

[Edge Foley]

Love that.

[Kevin Ryan]

Watch. I don't. I don't think anyone in my family's ever seen a walnut in person.

[Edge Foley]

In the wild.

[Kevin Ryan]

In the wild, you know, you'll do.

[Edge Foley]

A mixed nuts right on the table.

[Luke Dempsey]

Not really.

[Edge Foley]

Really?

[Luke Dempsey]

Yeah.

[Edge Foley]

I go myself tonight.

[Kevin Ryan]

We weren't a nut family. My dad like planters, peanuts, and I, you know, big handful right out of, like, the little court. You know what I mean? Little quarter John, little banger.

[Luke Dempsey]

I'd say one nut at a time for the most part.

[Kevin Ryan]

Hey, how you doing? Hit me. Where we at? Where's my one? Hey, I'm one and done. You know what I mean? That's all I'm saying. Goddamn family show we got going. But listen, gang, this is a. All. All this. All this. Nut talks neither here nor there. You get demonetized, Kim.

[Edge Foley]

Let's talk about True Classics.

[Kevin Ryan]

Shout out to True Classics, gang.

[Edge Foley]

Kip, I'm talking about the best T shirt company in the world. And you know what? They don't just make T shirts. They make all kinds of goodies over there. Best teacher you're gonna have door there right now. See this piece of crap I got on right now? Not a true classic. It stinks. The sleeves aren't tight. The belly's big.

[Kevin Ryan]

Look like a schlub.

[Edge Foley]

I look like a schlub. As I grabbed it, I thought I grabbed. I grabbed the wrong one. I'm an idiot. I should be wearing a True Classic.

[Kevin Ryan]

And.

[Edge Foley]

And so should you.

[Kevin Ryan]

Yeah. The brand isn't just about fabric and fit. It's about confidence, baby, and helping people. Show up every day feeling put together without trying too hard. And listen, a busy day, that matters a lot. You go, hey, I know I can just put this on. I'll look decent, I'll feel decent. Best foot forward. True. I've been using True Classic since way before they were a sponsor. You go, I get, like. I started with the three pack. They get the nine pack. Get, like, the 100 packs. Now I got them all True Classics all the time. Skip the guesswork and overpriced designer stuff. Give comfort and confidence. Give True Classics. You can find them at Amazon, Target, Costco, and Sam's Club or head to trueclassics.com garbage to grab the perfect gift for everyone on your list.

[Edge Foley]

Do it, Kip. It's talking about Brunt.

[Kevin Ryan]

Shout out to Brunt gang.

[Edge Foley]

Best work boots in the biz. Can I take you back before Brunt when you were laboring or whatever and you were out there in your sneakers or a bad pair of boots that you got from Payless or something like that?

[Kevin Ryan]

That's exactly what I was in your sole.

[Edge Foley]

Coming off, your foot's freezing. They weren't stylish and they weren't comfortable and they weren't durable.

[Kevin Ryan]

You look like an idiot.

[Edge Foley]

You look like an idiot. But up front, you get style, you get durability, and you get comfort. That's what you want to be when you're working out.

[Kevin Ryan]

Yeah, they got the Marin, which is lightweight. Lightweight, waterproof slip and oil resistant, heat resistant, electrical hazard rated. All them features. Mine were. I was. Mine weren't even wedgie. I was getting wedge. I was getting wedgies in the. In the break room. Brutal. Looking like an idiot. They got. You can finally have durable work boots that are comfortable as your sneakers join over the 500,000 other cut. Geez Louise. 500 other thousand customers. Brunt lets you try the boots on the job and all their products have free shipping. If you have a hard working man in your life, Brunt boots and apparel make great gifts that'll keep them comfortable all day on the job. We got a lot of blue collar guys out there, so you know working.

[Edge Foley]

Men out there shout out to you.

[Kevin Ryan]

Mm. With the temps dropping and the holidays coming up, it's time to treat yourself or the hard working man in your life and get some real comfort. Skip the throwaway gifts and give them something that it's built to last. Brunt Work. We're workwear. Our listeners get $10 off their entire order with Code Garbage at checkout. That's bruntworkware.com use the code garbage order today and let them know you heard it on the show. Do it. Yeah, all this peanut talks neither here nor there. We got a gosh darn family episode on our hands. And as you know, when you join the old Patreon a one of the benefits over there to becoming a homie and joining the army of garbage, you get your. Your garbage question answered on the air.

[Edge Foley]

Can I say This. I like having the pen in my hand.

[Kevin Ryan]

Yeah. I've had, you know, just knowing you, I got to push back a little bit on it. You're a very distractible man. That's all I'm saying.

[Edge Foley]

I like having my pen and my glasses.

[Kevin Ryan]

Yeah. It's just more stuff for you to.

[Edge Foley]

I got shit going on.

[Kevin Ryan]

What do you got going on?

[Edge Foley]

I don't have anything to write on.

[Luke Dempsey]

Yeah.

[Kevin Ryan]

That's weird. Yeah.

[Edge Foley]

Put the pen. Keep my glasses.

[Kevin Ryan]

Turn me into a substitute teacher. This guy. Seriously, you're bold. Also, I do got to push back, Mr. Frankenberry. I'm not bald in Europe. Those Germans. No, crazy.

[Edge Foley]

What, they're losing it.

[Kevin Ryan]

Well, they, like. I feel like the Europeans are very good at the bald, like, pushing forward. Kind of spike up, like.

[Edge Foley]

No, you got to.

[Kevin Ryan]

That's what the soccer players and stuff.

[Edge Foley]

Do with Walton Googan Goggins. Walton Goggins. That's big now.

[Kevin Ryan]

Yeah, the. The.

[Edge Foley]

The receded hairline. That's big. All starts back here. And he makes it look good.

[Kevin Ryan]

Yeah, he's a good. He's. He's got that.

[Edge Foley]

He's got you grow it out and get a foof. Like, that looks sick.

[Kevin Ryan]

I'm so much better short. It's so much better short. It's not even close, but I don't know if you saw. A lot of the homies and bozos out there have been tagging me. The Japanese have regrown hair on rats in 20 days. And I gotta tell you, this stuff's gonna change the game if it ever gets fda.

[Edge Foley]

These rats are closing.

[Kevin Ryan]

Turkey's gonna be dried up.

[Edge Foley]

Does it have to be rat hair?

[Kevin Ryan]

I'm in the bowl of peanuts.

[Edge Foley]

So what are they doing? What do you mean, the Japanese?

[Kevin Ryan]

That's all I got. I wasn't at the lab. I just got the reports.

[Edge Foley]

Now, you would do that? You'd go back. I don't think you can.

[Kevin Ryan]

What do you mean?

[Edge Foley]

Because your head's, like, perfect for it. You have, like, a good Bruce way. I always say this. You have a good Bruce Willis head and you have the lines. It's like.

[Kevin Ryan]

It's like, give me the biggest backhanded compliment ever. It's like your bowl.

[Edge Foley]

I don't know how to put it.

[Kevin Ryan]

I understand. I think I would also just say you're used to super. Listen, I wouldn't fucking.

[Edge Foley]

I mean, where would it even go? Would that.

[Kevin Ryan]

No, I wouldn't, like, bring it. I wouldn't. I wouldn't look like Drake or. So I wouldn't you know, I mean, I wouldn't have the box going.

[Edge Foley]

You would just try to fill that in.

[Kevin Ryan]

Yeah, fill it in a little bit.

[Edge Foley]

I like it like that.

[Kevin Ryan]

Oh, do you? Okay, never mind. Hey, guys.

[Edge Foley]

It's like when a baby or when a dad shaves and the baby don't recognize him. It freak me out a little bit.

[Kevin Ryan]

Yeah.

[Edge Foley]

I'll start crying. Are losing it.

[Kevin Ryan]

Okay. Psycho. All right, let's see here. This one's for. This one's from Gavin is more of a story. Some close friends of me and my lady got married a few weeks ago in the backyard of her house.

[Edge Foley]

Okay.

[Kevin Ryan]

Which is also connected to a flea market that they do not own. Okay, strike one. Her brother was the officiant and showed up in a pope costume.

[Edge Foley]

I mean, that's just funny.

[Kevin Ryan]

During the ceremony, he used lyrics from Wet Ass Pussy, Let the Bodies Hit the Floor and a handful of other off the wall songs. For the reception, they had a karaoke machine and open bar and all the staff was from the local town dive bar down the road.

[Edge Foley]

Okay.

[Kevin Ryan]

The piece de resistance of garbagio had to be when they asked me and my lady to be the witnesses on the marriage certificate. And when it was time for us to sign, we were led inside to where it was hanging on the fridge with a magnet. That's where I keep all my good documents. P.S. we had to track down the priest who was tripping on mushrooms behind the karaoke stage to get his signature on it as well.

[Edge Foley]

Listen, Sounds like a fun ass wedding.

[Kevin Ryan]

That's. What are we doing here?

[Edge Foley]

All I heard was open bar and karaoke machine and a good time.

[Kevin Ryan]

All the other stuff you go to most events. Someone's going to be on mushrooms. Well, at least one of you ever wanted one of 200 people.

[Edge Foley]

I think mushrooms is always an interesting choice for a wedding. Too introspective.

[Kevin Ryan]

A lot of people, a lot of two, you're out of. You don't have control. But that guy, I feel. I feel if the. The officiant of the wedding is doing mushrooms dress as the pope, that's not his first time. He can handle himself. You know what I mean?

[Edge Foley]

He's no bubble gum.

[Kevin Ryan]

He's doing that because he can't get his hands on some other stuff, you know what I mean?

[Edge Foley]

So I'm gonna take the edge.

[Kevin Ryan]

Yeah, he's not. He's not trying them for the first time. That's a good wedding. I like the. I like the broken down. What? Like we did it. But ours was a little more fancier in the sense. Suits and mushrooms. No, but it was not super. Yours was very weddingy. I like a very. I would go. If I could go back, I would do it. Just very, you know, karaoke machine. Couple of boomers.

[Edge Foley]

You and me both, kid.

[Kevin Ryan]

All right, let's see. This one's from toddy. Step nephew. $10, homie. Never had one. Red, are you garbage if you got diarrhea at the company happy hour? It's only my second week. Love you. Oh, dude, the happy hour. So bad. Because that's like a bar. That's not even the. An office or whatever you gotta assume is a little bit of a home.

[Edge Foley]

They're at a bar, right?

[Kevin Ryan]

Zooming. Happy hour.

[Edge Foley]

Yeah, but you gotta go in there.

[Kevin Ryan]

And also, it's like. It's probably not the biggest. They walk in, they recognize your shoes from the office. Hey, Gary's in there.

[Edge Foley]

You know, you guys in there dumping one out.

[Kevin Ryan]

That's a tough one.

[Edge Foley]

I had that in a situation pretty recently.

[Kevin Ryan]

I was.

[Luke Dempsey]

Okay.

[Kevin Ryan]

I was doing a podcast.

[Edge Foley]

I was around some new people in somewhat of a formal setting, and I.

[Kevin Ryan]

Was on mushrooms at a wedding.

[Edge Foley]

My poop costume on? No. But I just taken my zepbound shot. And sometimes on that first day, you get a little. And I was sitting there, and I didn't. It wasn't just that I had to use the bathroom. I got, like, the cold sweats for a second, so I was, like, in there sweating and dying, and if I didn't go, it was going to be weird. And I didn't know if I could just leave the room. So I raised my hand and asked to use the bathroom, and they said, you don't need to ask to use the bathroom. You can just go. Okay. I went, and then I was gone for, like, 20 minutes and came back, and it was. I had to, like, sneak in.

[Kevin Ryan]

Mm.

[Edge Foley]

And then I knew people were gonna use that bathroom right after we were done. And it was embarrassing.

[Kevin Ryan]

I just saw. I don't know who it was. It was, like, bad. It was like, Magic Johnson or somebody. It was an ex athlete on a football field, so it had to be an ex football player. He's walking down the sidelines, walking. Like, he just blew up the banter.

[Luke Dempsey]

He's, like, looking around.

[Kevin Ryan]

God, why do you feel like everybody knows? That's what I don't get.

[Edge Foley]

Like, everybody knows.

[Kevin Ryan]

Why is it shameful? I don't get that. Like, I never really had why it's shameful to me. Sure.

[Edge Foley]

Because I'm fat, and it's Worse than other things.

[Kevin Ryan]

Mm.

[Edge Foley]

Because I did it one time, my aunt was in hospice, and I remember my cousin Kelly killed the lady next door. She remembered it, like, five years later. She was like, yeah, that was. She's like, I remember you came out of the bathroom, and I had to take. I had to take Brady in to use the bathroom. And we remember how bad that smelled. This is my. My goddamn aunts on her deathbed, bringing up old.

[Kevin Ryan]

He's gonna kill us with the poison. Mustard gas. Personal stuff. That's brutal.

[Edge Foley]

Yeah, mine's my. Yeah, mine's worse than most.

[Luke Dempsey]

Sure.

[Kevin Ryan]

I mean, I get you. You do carry a little. But, like, I remember being at school and being like. That would be like, dude. What? Dude, if you got caught pooping at school, that was hard.

[Edge Foley]

Oh, that was done under. I mean, that was.

[Kevin Ryan]

You see, Go to the nurse. Sneak into the teacher's lounge, do something.

[Edge Foley]

Yeah, that was a facade level activity. You kidding me? Never. I remember it was always during a class, and you went to the furthest bathroom possible.

[Kevin Ryan]

Yeah, I remember they stopped in our school. We didn't have doors. You had, like, what? Kind of like you were at the mall or whatever or like an airport.

[Edge Foley]

Oh, you go in bathrooms?

[Kevin Ryan]

Yeah. Then make a right. So, like, if you. If you. You know, if you catch a. If you catch a trombone, if you will someone, you know, the hot girl checking her locker could hear you. Hey. Yeah, I didn't need that going. I didn't need that making the rounds.

[Edge Foley]

Right. The card stacked against me.

[Kevin Ryan]

Enough pooping before lunch, too. I carumba. Yeah, I didn't. I was. Yeah. I was so scared. Now, look, I mean, you're still a little. I don't know why. It's shameful.

[Edge Foley]

As gross as I am walking into those bathrooms at, like, the airport, it's just, you know, like, 20 stalls.

[Kevin Ryan]

Just.

[Edge Foley]

Dude, just gross.

[Kevin Ryan]

It's always tough waiting for a stall, like, at, like, a rest stop or something. You're like, this.

[Edge Foley]

Gotta take a shit.

[Kevin Ryan]

Yes. Dude. There's, like. There's some trucker who's on his, like, 7,000th mile that day. He's probably, you know, been with three lot lizards. I gotta go.

[Edge Foley]

Three boxes of uncrustables.

[Kevin Ryan]

Yeah. Yeah. A whole bag of loose peanuts. Yeah. That's a tough one.

[Edge Foley]

That's a tough look, dog.

[Kevin Ryan]

And now we got another segment of jammed up by the good folks over there at Cash App.

[Edge Foley]

Cash App.

[Kevin Ryan]

Cash App is a financial service platform, not a bank. Banking services provided by Cash Apps Bank Partner. See, Cash App for details. Cash App is not a sponsor of this giveaway and has no involvement in the prize or its administration.

[Edge Foley]

What the hell.

[Kevin Ryan]

Shout out to it.

[Edge Foley]

Distancing yourself. I like it.

[Kevin Ryan]

All right, let's see. So if you're not familiar, as you know me and Big man have been jammed up a lot in our lives at time. Big man is arguably jammed up right now. And we know we have a lot of our listeners are, you know, jammed up due to certain circumstances and so on Patreon these Bruins you can submit your jammed up reason and we'll. We'll break you a little rebel Cash app you a couple of bucks from my own pocket.

[Edge Foley]

Our own pocket, sure.

[Kevin Ryan]

I've still yet to be reimbursed for the previous segment.

[Edge Foley]

This is coming from company funds.

[Kevin Ryan]

They know it is not. They get it directly from me. And now people have found out and I'm getting a couple of requests.

[Edge Foley]

Sweet. Now I know where to send Cash App.

[Kevin Ryan]

I can't whistle.

[Edge Foley]

Kippy.

[Kevin Ryan]

All right. This one's from Bill.

[Edge Foley]

Hit me.

[Kevin Ryan]

Just moved to Florida from Rhode Island. I'm starting over again at 40. Okay. Respectable. I'm currently waiting for a tow truck in an Aldi's parking lot because my starter went on my 2010 Caddy. Feeling all jammed up. Can you hook a brother up?

[Edge Foley]

Talk to me.

[Kevin Ryan]

Let's hit him with the standard hundred piece.

[Edge Foley]

Let's go.

[Kevin Ryan]

Hit him with the hundred piece. Listen, go in.

[Edge Foley]

Goes a long way down here in Florida.

[Kevin Ryan]

Listen. Can do, guys. Starting over. Everybody. Listen. Everybody in this room except maybe the Dempsey group is at a bad string of luck.

[Edge Foley]

Sure.

[Kevin Ryan]

You know what I mean. You think that's the problem. That's the problem. We get it. We think we wish to get straightened down. We go, yes. These few things. If these few things can drop, I'll be alright. Next thing you know, the starter goes in your 2010 Caddy. Brutal. That's not an estimate either.

[Edge Foley]

I don't think you ever have a bad year.

[Kevin Ryan]

Did you ever have a bad day?

[Luke Dempsey]

You weren't there for 08.

[Edge Foley]

What was 08?

[Kevin Ryan]

Probably for legal purposes. Can't get into it in the middle of a Cash App program. You know, the big short.

[Edge Foley]

All right, we'll hit the other way.

[Kevin Ryan]

We're going to hit you up, Billy.

[Edge Foley]

Yeah. Hit him with a hundo.

[Kevin Ryan]

Best of luck. Starting over, man.

[Edge Foley]

Knock him dead down there, Billy.

[Kevin Ryan]

Yeah. Just take it as a speed bump. Not a. Not a. Not a. Not a detour.

[Edge Foley]

There you go.

[Kevin Ryan]

You know what I mean?

[Edge Foley]

Every problem is really a solution.

[Kevin Ryan]

Okay, that's patent. Patent pending by the bug man. This one's from Andy Garbagio, shout out to you. Which. Okay, this is jammed up big. I lost my job and went on a payment plan to pay my rent. The first payment of 200 bucks is coming up, but I don't have the cash to pay it. Andy, I got that first payment for you, big dog.

[Edge Foley]

Let's go.

[Kevin Ryan]

Coming in, Andy. Garbage lacing Young. A little bit of breathing room, here we go. Listen, we ain't saving lives. There's not much we can give you a little bit of wiggle room, you know what I mean? At the end of the day.

[Edge Foley]

I got it.

[Kevin Ryan]

You got it. What are you doing?

[Edge Foley]

I actually got one here.

[Kevin Ryan]

You're gonna send me a real quick.

[Edge Foley]

Real cool guy here. Huge hug.

[Kevin Ryan]

Boss is a real dickhead. All right, let's see.

[Luke Dempsey]

Six grand.

[Kevin Ryan]

Stat. What? All right, this is. This is king without a castle. I'm a jammed up investor, currently taking culinary classes after a separation from my lady.

[Edge Foley]

Very nice.

[Kevin Ryan]

I was a stay at home dad. Now I'm staying at my sister's house. Not asking for the whole divorce to be paid. That's a sales tactic. Listen, I'm not asking for 90 grand, but if you could do a thousand, that would really get them. Get the Mrs. Off my back. Listen, stay at home dad, which I. He might may or may not be lying to Jockey to pull on the.

[Edge Foley]

Heartstrings, which I respect.

[Kevin Ryan]

Hey, scam. One scammer to another.

[Edge Foley]

If you're not lying, you ain't trying.

[Kevin Ryan]

Uh huh. Taking culinary classes like it get. Trying to get back on his feet, right? Trying to get a job to provide for his kids. Staying at his sister's house, right? Still coming up with a way to pay for Patreon. I probably have to. I probably have to have someone look at your books.

[Edge Foley]

Now this is the kind of guy where you hear this story. See, my dirt bag says, take care of this guy. Cuz who knows, in a couple years this guy might have like the ultimate cupcake brand or something like that.

[Kevin Ryan]

You want cupcakes, huh? That is the story.

[Edge Foley]

You know what I mean? Yeah. I was separated from my wife. I was taking culinary classes, I was living with my sister and Uncle Hank helped me out. Picture of me and him, big cupcake free cupcakes for life. But you know what I mean, he could open up a restaurant or something.

[Kevin Ryan]

Sure. I hope he does that.

[Edge Foley]

Tyler Sheridan. He didn't start writing until he was 40 and look at him now.

[Kevin Ryan]

Catch up, everybody.

[Edge Foley]

Killing it.

[Kevin Ryan]

We'll jam. We'll jam. We'll jam you up. We'll hook you up.

[Edge Foley]

Or request 50J. Me up even more.

[Kevin Ryan]

Hey, also looking for a pack of heaters.

[Edge Foley]

What was he looking for?

[Kevin Ryan]

A pack of heaters.

[Edge Foley]

That's it. All he wants. All he wants.

[Kevin Ryan]

Oh, we'll. We'll hook you up with a hundo piece, too. My guy. Shout out to King without a castle. Shout out to all the. All the homies that wrote in. We appreciate you.

[Edge Foley]

Yeah, we love you.

[Kevin Ryan]

Thanks for everything. Shout out to Cash app for. For. For helping the boys and the homies.

[Edge Foley]

Out and distancing yourself. Froze, which we respect.

[Kevin Ryan]

Which I could not be more sympathetic to. My guy.

[Edge Foley]

The legal version of we don't know these dudes.

[Kevin Ryan]

They're walking down the street. They bumped into me. All right, let's see here. This one's pretty nuts. This one's from Jack. $10 intercontinental, bozo. And then in parentheses. Never left the country. There was a time when I was super broke, right? Been there. Most of my credit cards were maxed out. Been there. So in desperation, I had a Kohl's credit card. So I went to Kohl's, bought a PlayStation 4 to trade it into GameStop for cash.

[Edge Foley]

Okay?

[Kevin Ryan]

I got extremely screwed, but had it out of cash. You know what I mean? What's a PlayStation 4? Call, like a thousand bucks or something?

[Edge Foley]

I don't know.

[Luke Dempsey]

Now it's like, wait, 400.

[Kevin Ryan]

Just say it was a. Just say. Say it was 500 bucks.

[Edge Foley]

Such a nerd answer. Now it's actually like, oh, talking about back then when it was hot. Probably a jihad. Jihad.

[Kevin Ryan]

Okay. Oh, you work at GameStop. Relax.

[Luke Dempsey]

You guys got me the five.

[Edge Foley]

Oh, we did. Happy birthday.

[Kevin Ryan]

Get me a card or anything. All right, say it's a thousand bucks. He buys it for a thousand on the Kohl's card, Right? I wonder what Kohl's is banging me out for. Person, Apr wise. That's got to be.

[Edge Foley]

That means you got to pay that off at the end of the month or they start charging the vig.

[Kevin Ryan]

Yeah. 25. 30%. 30%. 30%.

[Edge Foley]

30%.

[Luke Dempsey]

Yes.

[Kevin Ryan]

So that. So that 30%, that thousand dollars comes 1300 at the end of the month.

[Edge Foley]

What?

[Luke Dempsey]

Yeah.

[Edge Foley]

That's crazy.

[Kevin Ryan]

Yeah.

[Edge Foley]

30%.

[Kevin Ryan]

Why do you think they're always trying to get you to put it on the credit? Hey, you want to open up a Kohl's card?

[Edge Foley]

30%.

[Kevin Ryan]

Yeah.

[Edge Foley]

That's only if you don't pay it off in the first month, right?

[Kevin Ryan]

Yeah.

[Edge Foley]

It's not 30 anyway.

[Kevin Ryan]

I don't. I mean, it's. You'd have to. I mean, I doubt. Listen, they're not in the business of giving you a free third of free free money for the. For the month that vague probably starts running.

[Edge Foley]

That's crazy.

[Luke Dempsey]

If you carry a balance, you'll be charged interest based on your average daily balance.

[Edge Foley]

That's fucked up.

[Kevin Ryan]

And that's how they screw you with the average daily balance. Because if it's a thousand and then the one the last day before it's due, you pay it. It's only zero for a day. So it's a thousand for 29 plus zero divided by 30. Oh, you know what I mean?

[Edge Foley]

So you got to pay it, like right away.

[Kevin Ryan]

Yeah. You're getting gened up, man.

[Edge Foley]

That's fucked up. You think they're doing that because they care about their customers? Not what fucking hot dogs.

[Kevin Ryan]

Who's in the business? No, no one's in the business of helping you out at all.

[Edge Foley]

You know who else?

[Kevin Ryan]

Except us. That's right. Giving out free product here, gang.

[Edge Foley]

This episode is brought to you by BetterHelp.

[Kevin Ryan]

Mm.

[Edge Foley]

Fall's here.

[Kevin Ryan]

Yes.

[Edge Foley]

The winter's coming days are getting a little shorter. Gloomy season, less sunlight, less vitamin D. Gets colder, you get a little more reclusive, et cetera, et cetera. Make sure you're staying on top of your mental health so you can roll into the spring a brand new person and feel good and feel great.

[Kevin Ryan]

Yeah.

[Edge Foley]

So do yourself a favor, get over to BetterHelp. Start talking to people. Kevin and I both are on mental health journeys, as you know. And it all started with BetterHelp. You talk to a licensed therapist in the privacy your own home.

[Kevin Ryan]

Yeah. This November, better help is encouraging everyone to reach out and check in on friends, reconnect with loved ones and remind the people in your life that you're there for them. It takes a second. And listen, I've been on both ends of that call. That text, it can turn the day around, which can turn a week around, which can turn a month around. It can really help. BetterHelp does the initial matching for you and your therapist so you can focus on your therapy goals. A short questionnaire helps you identify your needs and preferences. And they have 12 plus years of experience and industry leading match fulfillment rate, which means they typically get it right the first time. And if you're not happy with your match, bing bang, boom, you switch it up. And it's fantastically easy to do to get started and start the journey is the hardest thing. BetterHelp takes those speed bumps out and makes it easy.

[Luke Dempsey]

This.

[Kevin Ryan]

This month, don't wait to reach out. Whether you're checking in on a friend or reaching out to a therapist yourself, BetterHelp is making it easier to take that first step. Our listeners get 10% off their first [e-mail] garbage that's betterhelp h e l p.com garbage do it kit what do.

[Edge Foley]

You know about Pretty Litter?

[Kevin Ryan]

Shout out to Pretty Litter gang.

[Edge Foley]

I'll tell you right now. You know who knows a lot about pretty litter?

[Kevin Ryan]

You're an expert.

[Edge Foley]

Is my little kitty cat because it is her favorite litter that she uses. And I don't even know what we could do now because if we change it, I think she'll freak out, she'll trash the room. She'll start throwing TVs out the window like an old rock star in the.

[Kevin Ryan]

80S, take after her daddy.

[Edge Foley]

And I'll tell you what. Right now, Pretty Litter is the best litter that you could possibly get. Number one cat's health.

[Kevin Ryan]

Yes.

[Edge Foley]

Right.

[Kevin Ryan]

Very important.

[Edge Foley]

It's got a urinary tract infection. If it's got something going on, it could be an early indicator that it might be time to get over and see a medical professional. That's what we're saying.

[Kevin Ryan]

Yes.

[Edge Foley]

Right there. That's all you need to know. But here's the kicker. Smells great. Lasts for up a month. And you don't have to carry those heavy boxes in. It's lightweight. It's fantastic. If you have a kitty in your life and you want to take the best care of her possible or impossible, use Pretty liquid.

[Kevin Ryan]

Yeah. It helps monitor the cat's health by testing acidity and alkalinity levels in the visible presence of blood in your cat's urine to give you an early, you know, get early eyes on it. And. And right now, you can get 20% off your first bag and get a free cat toy@pretty littered.com Garbage that's prettylittleitter.com Garbage to get 20% off your first bag. Pretty littered.com. prettylittle.com Garbage Pretty litter cannot detect every feline health issue or prevent or diagnose diseases. A diagnosis can only be made from a licensed veterinarian. Terms and conditions apply. See decipher details Back to the show.

[Edge Foley]

Back to the show.

[Kevin Ryan]

Yeah. I mean, no one's in the business of giving you, especially loaning your money. No one's loaning your money because you need it. We're giving it away.

[Edge Foley]

So then you take it over to GameStop. What do you get for retail?

[Kevin Ryan]

I mean. 30%.

[Edge Foley]

30%?

[Kevin Ryan]

A thousand. You get 300 bucks.

[Edge Foley]

You think so?

[Kevin Ryan]

Yeah.

[Edge Foley]

Everyone's screwing this guy.

[Kevin Ryan]

This guy's kind of doing it to himself. I'm being honest with you. So I traded PlayStation 4 to GameStop. Cash getting extremely screwed. But I had enough cash to get to my next check. At the time, I had what some would call the bugman blues.

[Edge Foley]

Fair enough.

[Kevin Ryan]

So it's gone. Is it garbage to dig yourself into a hole, a deeper hole into debt for a couple of bucks? I've been there. Not at that level. I do understand and respect the. You're making bigger chess moves that I. If I had a cold card, I probably would have gotten that, you know, I would have got. I mean I had a Macy's card. I was buying clothes that I couldn't afford just to not do laundry like an idiot.

[Edge Foley]

My kind of guy.

[Kevin Ryan]

Need a fresh drawers. Yeah, that's pretty. That sucks. But you know, I also. I feel like I'm better with money now. I'm not good with it, but I'm better because I was so bad. Like I had the collector's call and I had this. I had my family screaming at me. I had my mom being like, I co signed on these loans that you're defaulting on. The hell you doing? I had all that. So now I'm like, the fact that everything's cleaned up. I do keep a. I do stay. I do like a little dirt. I got portfolio recovery calling me every day. I don't know about what. 9 answering does kind of be a couple hundred bucks.

[Edge Foley]

Does Con Ed really turn your power off?

[Kevin Ryan]

Yeah, but it takes a while because.

[Edge Foley]

They keep telling me they're about to.

[Kevin Ryan]

Yeah, you should. I mean, if they're telling you they're about to, they can't just do it. It's not like Time Warner. No Spectrum. But if they're telling you they're gonna turn it off, they'll turn that shit off.

[Edge Foley]

I like to see what they're up to.

[Kevin Ryan]

They'll put a 10 day notice on the door. I had them.

[Edge Foley]

Oh, they'll put a 10 day notice.

[Kevin Ryan]

Embarrassing. They put it on the front door. They'll think they put it down by the elevator.

[Edge Foley]

Oh, I can't have that.

[Kevin Ryan]

Someone just had it on my building to be or whatever. Yeah, and everybody know it's orange. You can't miss it. And it's on there with like gorilla glue. That shit ain't coming. Everyone sees it and it hangs out for a couple.

[Edge Foley]

That's fucked up, man.

[Kevin Ryan]

You know what? What a lot of people get in trouble with.

[Edge Foley]

I can take care of it. I just wanted to see.

[Kevin Ryan]

They might. I don't know. If you could.

[Edge Foley]

I'd take care of it. It was. Steve. Was a grand.

[Kevin Ryan]

Not in a month.

[Edge Foley]

No, it wasn't a month.

[Kevin Ryan]

So you haven't been taking care of it?

[Edge Foley]

I let it go a little bit. You let it go too.

[Kevin Ryan]

No, I don't.

[Edge Foley]

Yes, you do. You like letting them go.

[Kevin Ryan]

Everything's.

[Edge Foley]

And then you pay it off.

[Kevin Ryan]

No, everything's on auto pay. Except my. Except my Spectrum, which I can't because I had too many accounts linked to my. Long story. But they shut it off and I call and turn it on. That's how I operate now. Which I don't like. All right. But it does make me. I call. I feel like a big, big guy. Yeah. I want to pay to balance in full. I say that out loud that they like when I'm at the Starbucks or whatever.

[Luke Dempsey]

Mm.

[Kevin Ryan]

Yeah. I'll pay in full. I don't know.

[Edge Foley]

I got cash app on a payment plan.

[Kevin Ryan]

You're on a payment plan for your. For your. For your energy bill. That's great. What do you got? A walk in fridge. That's crazy. Dude. You are on a payment.

[Edge Foley]

I got a lot of ice cream.

[Kevin Ryan]

It's a lot of Kohl's cash. I mean you are like.

[Edge Foley]

I'm chasing me a little bit, working the system.

[Kevin Ryan]

Did you find out what portfolio recovery is? Oh, I thought that's what we were looking for.

[Luke Dempsey]

No, but the trade in value now for a PlayStation 4 is $44.

[Edge Foley]

Gee, what else? What's a trade in for a PlayStation 5 right now?

[Luke Dempsey]

250.

[Kevin Ryan]

It's one payment for your payment plan. Do you have a PlayStation 5? You're thinking about pawning it?

[Edge Foley]

I do have a PlayStation 5. I don't play it that much, but there's a new game out right now called Arc Troopers or something like that looks pretty sick.

[Kevin Ryan]

Battlefield 6, there's a. There's a new game out right now called Real Life. And you should check the fuck in, cuz from what I'm picking up this episode, you're tanking. Hey, it's. It's a first. What is it? First, It's a first player shooter game.

[Edge Foley]

I need a health kit and some new weapons. Arc Troopers or something like that. Arcs. Arcs. Arc soldiers. Not. It's not a. Wait, did you say battlefront?

[Kevin Ryan]

What?

[Luke Dempsey]

Battlefield 6 is really big right now. The arc trooper seems to be like a new Star wars game.

[Edge Foley]

That's not Star Wars. I don't think. Is it?

[Luke Dempsey]

Arc troopers is a Star Wars.

[Edge Foley]

The clone wars now something different then. Ark soldiers.

[Luke Dempsey]

Let me do a little digging for you.

[Kevin Ryan]

Digging for me with that. That's why you. Can we continue with the show while that's going on?

[Edge Foley]

We're back.

[Kevin Ryan]

All right, let's see here. This one's. This one's from Coco the monkey. Great name, by the way. $10 C, homie. Don't worry about. I have had one red bragging. Ever tied a seatbelt around something in your car to keep it in place? Oh, yeah, that's every time I do it. I feel like Albert Einstein. I got. First time we ever did it was with a keg in the backseat of my buddy's car. We were underage so we had to put a blanket over it so we didn't get pulled over. Buddy sleeping.

[Edge Foley]

He's dead.

[Kevin Ryan]

But yeah, strap that in. You go like you feel. I don't know why, but that's like. I'm like. I'm the smartest man alive.

[Edge Foley]

I miss when they used to have. When the middle seat belt was just this one.

[Kevin Ryan]

Yeah. I don't like that. It's now an over the shoulder now. Weird. Yeah.

[Edge Foley]

Feel like you're in a fucking troop carrier.

[Kevin Ryan]

No. Yeah. I feel about to jump out of a plane.

[Edge Foley]

Yeah, I don't.

[Kevin Ryan]

I don't like that.

[Edge Foley]

I like the middle because then you should be able to rip that across and click it in the other one.

[Kevin Ryan]

Yes. Yeah. You got a little wiggle room. You can tie it around. You know, you could if it was real loosey goosey.

[Edge Foley]

You know what we're doing.

[Kevin Ryan]

Okay. This one's from Corey. $10, homie. Never have one red. Is it garbage if I left a bunch of stuff in my old house that was foreclosed when I moved out?

[Edge Foley]

Nah, fuck them.

[Kevin Ryan]

Yeah, that's part of their job. It included a six foot tall entertainment system. Those things were big and heavy. An old pool table and a torn up couch. Yeah, yeah. Man. If they're. Listen, I plan on doing the walk out of the of what, after they shut the power off.

[Edge Foley]

Yeah, there's a lot of stuff I can't see taken. I don't know where I'd be going. Heading on down the road.

[Kevin Ryan]

Headed on down the road a piece. Dead tire, Gene.

[Edge Foley]

Yeah, I'm not. I'm not taking that shit. I just get the super like a grand. Be like here just.

[Kevin Ryan]

Well, I Think the bank charges this all go.

[Edge Foley]

The bank? What bank?

[Kevin Ryan]

No, no. When this guy got foreclosed on. Which may or may not be happening to you at the same time.

[Edge Foley]

I rent. Can't foreclose on.

[Kevin Ryan]

Who knows what document she signed.

[Edge Foley]

Can't foreclose on me. I foreclosed on myself.

[Kevin Ryan]

You can't. That's. You can't fire me. I quit. Good luck. I think the bank charges you for that. Because I. Fuck the bank.

[Edge Foley]

You ain't paying nothing anyway. They foreclosed on you.

[Kevin Ryan]

I know, but you still owe that money when. What do you mean?

[Edge Foley]

You file for bankruptcy.

[Kevin Ryan]

Sure.

[Edge Foley]

Right. Luke?

[Kevin Ryan]

No. That. So. I used to work. I told you. I used to work for a law firm that represented banks in. I hate it. I felt like such a whore. But I worked in the accounting. I worked in the accounting department and I didn't really care a whole. But it wasn't really. I wasn't fudging the numbers a bit.

[Edge Foley]

Were you. Were you giving some people some time?

[Kevin Ryan]

Yeah.

[Edge Foley]

Really?

[Kevin Ryan]

Huh. Whoa. Because you could just like.

[Edge Foley]

There was a big data class hero, Kevin Ryan.

[Kevin Ryan]

There was a big database. And we'd be like. You have to call these people. You have to send this letter out.

[Edge Foley]

That'd be a good movie.

[Kevin Ryan]

You have to send this letter out to let them know there's, you know, 90 days or whatever.

[Edge Foley]

To what?

[Kevin Ryan]

Sheriff comes?

[Edge Foley]

Big Kev Ryan comes.

[Kevin Ryan]

No.

[Edge Foley]

And then you're going to start with the refrigerator.

[Kevin Ryan]

Not me, but people. You could. Those days could get messed up.

[Edge Foley]

Yeah. They could.

[Kevin Ryan]

And just say it happened when it didn't happen or it needs to happen in three more months or whatever. And it just never gets processed.

[Edge Foley]

Nice.

[Kevin Ryan]

So I've told. I don't know. It was all for comedy purposes.

[Edge Foley]

Good for you.

[Kevin Ryan]

What is now? Not me.

[Edge Foley]

Good man.

[Kevin Ryan]

The story I read. But they bill you for everything. That's like every. You send a letter out, it's like 300 bucks. You do this, it's a they you. All that stuff you get billed for.

[Edge Foley]

Who sends a letter at the bank?

[Kevin Ryan]

The bank retains an attorney. Uh huh. Mm. Which was awkward because my family members homes were being foreclosed on. I don't want to talk about it.

[Edge Foley]

Hey, it's Kev.

[Kevin Ryan]

They're on to us. Get your and get the out. I can buy you 90 days.

[Edge Foley]

I got good news, bad news. Niecy's making the hoagie dip this year. Bad news season ain't gonna be at your place.

[Kevin Ryan]

You gotta get the out. Listen, Mr. Wells Fargo, he gonna Want his money.

[Edge Foley]

He wants his money. I'm thinking sand and tear. That's the bank I'm gonna go to next. European bank.

[Kevin Ryan]

That's not European. I think it's pretty. It's isn't a South American south either.

[Edge Foley]

Being better either way. When I gotta slip away into the darkness. We gotta get some cash out, huh?

[Kevin Ryan]

I thought it was Latin American. Spanish. Yeah. A Spanish Spanish.

[Luke Dempsey]

Yeah.

[Kevin Ryan]

Yeah.

[Edge Foley]

I ain't going over there.

[Kevin Ryan]

Santander.

[Edge Foley]

What, Japanese?

[Kevin Ryan]

Japanese would be hsbc. What's not Japanese?

[Edge Foley]

What's a good Panama bank? Panamanian Bank. Those guys play ball?

[Kevin Ryan]

No, not Panama. Where do you want to go?

[Edge Foley]

Yeah, they do.

[Kevin Ryan]

What's the Cayman Islands?

[Edge Foley]

That's big cash, though.

[Kevin Ryan]

What are you? I'm a cash operation.

[Edge Foley]

What's up with the Cayman?

[Kevin Ryan]

First of all, you can't pay your electric.

[Edge Foley]

Why are they so crooked?

[Luke Dempsey]

It's just the banking laws they have, they're pretty crooked. Yeah. Cayman National Bank.

[Edge Foley]

How much of a red flag is that though? You have the Cayman Islands National Bank.

[Kevin Ryan]

Yeah. It doesn't matter if it's a rev. They can't. The. The US government can't do anything.

[Edge Foley]

How do all those guys get pinched then?

[Kevin Ryan]

When?

[Edge Foley]

I don't know. Miami Vice and shit. They're always catching with the Cayman Islands banks.

[Kevin Ryan]

Yeah, there's just no jurisdiction over it. I think if you're like. I think if you're using like an American bank to say, I'm sure there's some sort of, you know, pencil pushing rule that's like. If you're sending it from an intermediary bank directly, whatever, to the Caymans, it can be under US jurisdiction or something, I'm assuming.

[Luke Dempsey]

But red flag. You flip someone else in the organization.

[Edge Foley]

Ah, that's how they get. You think Luke could flip?

[Kevin Ryan]

Flip what?

[Edge Foley]

I don't know. Would you squeal if I got tortured?

[Kevin Ryan]

100 tortured on us? Do you know what we do here?

[Edge Foley]

I'm just saying.

[Kevin Ryan]

You would. You would. You would roll over like a two dollar. You would. Hey, boy.

[Edge Foley]

Immunity. What are we talking about? Do I still got to do any time?

[Kevin Ryan]

Yeah, you got to do 30 days.

[Edge Foley]

Fuck that. I got a bad heart.

[Kevin Ryan]

A bad dick, though.

[Edge Foley]

I ain't ratting.

[Kevin Ryan]

Yeah, you would.

[Edge Foley]

I keep my mouth shut? No, I'd expect a little something when I get out.

[Kevin Ryan]

You're spineless, selfish. You're an amoeba. You would. You would.

[Edge Foley]

I'd expect something when I got out of what all that time I did for you to take care of me. Startup money so I Get back in the game. You know what I'm saying?

[Kevin Ryan]

No, I don't know.

[Edge Foley]

Nobody ever went to visit my ma, nothing like that.

[Kevin Ryan]

She had plenty of visitors. Betty.

[Edge Foley]

No, I wouldn't rat on you.

[Kevin Ryan]

Yeah, you would.

[Edge Foley]

No, I wouldn't.

[Kevin Ryan]

Yes, you would.

[Edge Foley]

Dude, I'd expect something. When I got out, I could have dropped Diamond a million times. I never did.

[Kevin Ryan]

Dropped a dime on me. Listen, you're the one not paying your bills. What are you talking about?

[Edge Foley]

That's not illegal.

[Kevin Ryan]

Your tax bills. It is.

[Edge Foley]

A guy to handle all.

[Kevin Ryan]

That, which I've heard he's still cleaning up.

[Edge Foley]

Is that true?

[Kevin Ryan]

What? Yeah, there's. There's still. There's still some gray area to that.

[Luke Dempsey]

How much would you expect after doing two years?

[Kevin Ryan]

Yeah, that's right.

[Edge Foley]

From the organization.

[Luke Dempsey]

From the organization.

[Edge Foley]

Four million. You got to figure I was violated when I was in there.

[Kevin Ryan]

Yeah, right. You'd be putting Kool Aid on your lips.

[Edge Foley]

Had a good time.

[Kevin Ryan]

What? I'm an actor.

[Edge Foley]

On a couple mil. What the. Man, I'm doing hard, tight. Keep my mouth shut.

[Kevin Ryan]

Right. So it's at that rate you want 500 grand a year?

[Edge Foley]

Yeah.

[Kevin Ryan]

To do something.

[Edge Foley]

Wait, do I have to shiv anybody? If I got to shiv somebody, that goes up, I mean, I'll do the business. Plus I get all jacked in there, get some tats, learn how to cook, all that cool shit.

[Kevin Ryan]

So you okay? Where's this money coming from?

[Edge Foley]

I don't know. You better figure it out, fat ass.

[Kevin Ryan]

You want more than you make now for not working. I'm working and blowing dudes in jail.

[Luke Dempsey]

That'd be such a good podcast. Through the phone, through the wire.

[Kevin Ryan]

Like Shine. Shine. Shine recorded a song on his album. Shine's the one that went to jail for Puffy's gun during the. The JLO nightclub shooting. Ah, Shine, he didn't have it coming, right? Predicate Felon.

[Edge Foley]

What's a predicate like?

[Kevin Ryan]

Pre. I don't know. I was. That was the name of Tony Yayo's album. Predicate Felon. Shout out. Tony Yayo. You want. You. You want to listen? You want to know. In the Good dude crew, this is a little early 2000s hip hop history for you. G unit. 50 started popping.

[Edge Foley]

Right?

[Kevin Ryan]

Right. Made G Unit, right? They went on the road opening for 50. Like, this is like the height of 50 mania. G unit. So it's like G unit, 50 cent shows. I remember young buck, Tony Yayo. Tony Yayo's in jail when they. When he. This pops off.

[Edge Foley]

Okay?

[Kevin Ryan]

He was his ride or died. They used to ride around that minivan. No air conditioning, bulletproof vest, guns. This is after he got shot up. He didn't have a deal yet. So they were like. He was like, dude, we were riding. He's like that minivan. He's like. It was 110 degrees in that thing. Be August in Brooklyn. What do you mean they're in a drug war?

[Edge Foley]

Oh, they were in the middle of a drug war?

[Kevin Ryan]

Yeah. 50 Cent got shot nine times.

[Luke Dempsey]

Get. Richard died trying, huh?

[Kevin Ryan]

So he's like, they're locked and loaded. Like it's. It's on site for them and that's how they're operating. Okay. And so 50 was like, he's such a fucking road dog that he's raised ride or die for me. He goes to jail for like, I don't know, two years or something like that. As 50 pops. Uh huh. He pays them for every live show as part of genus. See, he comes out and there's like. He's like, I came out, there was over a million dollars in a bank account waiting for him. They picked them up, put him in a. Put him in a chinchilla. They like right out the door. Like put chains on.

[Edge Foley]

He wants something like that.

[Kevin Ryan]

Is that what you want?

[Edge Foley]

Yeah. Not chinchilla though. Poor little guys.

[Kevin Ryan]

Chinchoros.

[Edge Foley]

More like a Jimmy Chunga.

[Luke Dempsey]

Predicate felon is someone who has had a felony and then was convicted of another felony.

[Edge Foley]

Ah, thank you, Luke.

[Kevin Ryan]

Can you check up. Can you. Can you check the. The time you would serve for not paying your Con Ed bill?

[Edge Foley]

There's no. Dang. You gotta catch me first in a.

[Kevin Ryan]

Minivan, riding out, safety off, dog. That's why I vest up.

[Edge Foley]

I'm kidding.

[Kevin Ryan]

I paid it.

[Edge Foley]

I just didn't realize. Just so I couldn't believe it was a thousand bucks.

[Kevin Ryan]

Yeah, it happens. You don't pay for 10 months.

[Edge Foley]

It was like three months. I leave that AC running.

[Kevin Ryan]

Why aren't you paying it?

[Edge Foley]

I just forget. I forget.

[Kevin Ryan]

I forget how to tell the truth.

[Luke Dempsey]

This might hurt you. You actually cannot serve time for simply not paying a civil debt.

[Edge Foley]

Nice.

[Kevin Ryan]

Yeah. Shit. There's no such thing as a debtors prison. I learned that from my dad. Anybody that drops that on you is behind the eight ball. There's no such thing as a debtors prison. I go, why are you quoting rules from the 1600s? That's how you know you are a dirt. A big John Hancock said you would have don't hit.

[Edge Foley]

You would have don't tread on me. Taxation without Representation.

[Kevin Ryan]

I'm out. Peace. Geez. God damn. That's funny. We're having a good time. This is a fun program.

[Edge Foley]

Catch up.

[Kevin Ryan]

All right, listen. This one's from John. $10 longtime homie. Is it garbage to pick July 11th as your wedding date? Hoping to get 711 to throw you a couple of bucks your way. I got months to figure out how to get him to sponsor this thing before I wind up like the bug.

[Edge Foley]

Man some Slurpees or something. That's not bad.

[Kevin Ryan]

How many people. What day did. What day is. Can you look up what day July 11th is? Is that a weekday? I mean, if he chose to get married on like a Wednesday in hopes that 711 would.

[Edge Foley]

That's what you got to do.

[Kevin Ryan]

But you got to think of how many people are getting married on.

[Luke Dempsey]

It's a Saturday.

[Kevin Ryan]

How many people? Dude. That's prime wedding season, though.

[Edge Foley]

Is it July?

[Kevin Ryan]

Anytime in the summer.

[Edge Foley]

Yeah, that's fucking. You better have some Slurpees there. You got me showing up on July 7th. It's hot as shit. Hate that fucking hot ass wedding. No ocean breeze or nothing. Yeah, you got to have some fucking Slurpees. Think how great that would be. You're leaving after the wedding.

[Kevin Ryan]

I'd want it. They. I'd want it like something, you know, between the ceremony and the cocktail Slurpee. Or how about taquitos at the cocktail hour?

[Edge Foley]

No.

[Kevin Ryan]

Yeah. A couple of buffalo chicken johns.

[Edge Foley]

You do that at the end. A couple Taquitos and some little Slurpees.

[Kevin Ryan]

This is how. This is how much of a dirt bag I was at 7:11. Me and Pat got real heavy Slurpee.

[Edge Foley]

Thing with a glass of half and a half.

[Kevin Ryan]

We got real into taquitos.

[Edge Foley]

Huh.

[Kevin Ryan]

His dorm was right next to a 7 11.

[Edge Foley]

Really?

[Kevin Ryan]

In West Philly. 39th and. Or whatever. It was over.

[Edge Foley]

You'd go over there and hang out at his dorms at Drexel. Mm. Huh?

[Kevin Ryan]

Yeah.

[Edge Foley]

Weird to me.

[Kevin Ryan]

Why is that?

[Edge Foley]

Because there was no other schools around us. Really?

[Luke Dempsey]

Yeah.

[Kevin Ryan]

That's the thing. I was like. The thing about going to school in the city is, you know, they'd let you in.

[Edge Foley]

You don't have to have a student pass or anything like that.

[Kevin Ryan]

I mean, he would get like, guest me, whatever. I mean, the city school. That's the only problem. City schools have significantly tighter. There's like cops working the front door because it's like, you know, Tony Yayo can run in and fucking ransack the fifth floor. You know what I mean? Sure thoughts of A predicate. Thoughts of a predicate felon. I mean, yeah, we were, you know, essentially sitting ducks. Blackhawk down, like no big road operation you had. No, I'm just saying.

[Edge Foley]

I remember when you were moving knick bags or whatever it was.

[Kevin Ryan]

No, you don't.

[Edge Foley]

I remember you telling me.

[Kevin Ryan]

I can't say I don't remember that.

[Edge Foley]

That's what I told the cops.

[Kevin Ryan]

Whatever the hell was I talking. Oh, no, I had taquitos, man. But they start. They put them on and you go, let me get two buffalo chicken johns and like a, you know, a taco john. They were like three for whatever, or a three dollar. Or a hamburger. Hamburgers are pretty good. Although they had big chunks of celery in which I did not care for.

[Edge Foley]

What in the. Taquitos? Yeah, hamburger taquitos.

[Kevin Ryan]

What the fuck? Where were you going?

[Edge Foley]

What?

[Kevin Ryan]

That's no.

[Edge Foley]

7 11.

[Kevin Ryan]

Yeah. No, get eyes on a hamburger. Hamburger. No, back in the day.

[Edge Foley]

Yeah, I remember the hamburger hot dogs that they had. The burger logs. You don't remember them? They were hamburgers shaped like hot dogs.

[Kevin Ryan]

Yeah, they were pretty good.

[Edge Foley]

They were great.

[Kevin Ryan]

Yeah. A little rubbery, though, but they got. They got the job done in a pinch.

[Edge Foley]

But I don't remember a hamburger taquito.

[Kevin Ryan]

What do you got?

[Luke Dempsey]

They currently sell hamburger taquitos.

[Kevin Ryan]

Do you think they got hamburger hot dogs and they come up with a taquito and they're not shoving fucking hamburgery in it. I was like, chop. It was a hamburger or something. I don't know. I didn't want.

[Edge Foley]

It was mere poivre.

[Kevin Ryan]

It wasn't my go to. But they would serve them. They'd. They'd only cook them on the roller. So they needed to be on that roller because they're coming from, like, frozen. So they needed to be on that roller for like five hours. And sometimes you'd get them after like 15 minutes and they'd still sell them to you. You get outside and you break your goddamn tooth. And you got to go in and say, hey, just bought this here. And then you didn't have your receipt. It wouldn't give you a store credit. You're kidding me. Yeah, we. We could start and we were drunk. So you'd be yelling at. Not yelling at him. Be like, I was just in here. Like, no, no, no, no, no.

[Edge Foley]

Yeah, I got the taquito in my hand.

[Kevin Ryan]

Another 7 11. He goes, We. And then he hit me with, we don't even sell hamburger Tequila. All right, we gotta wrap it up.

[Edge Foley]

Ah, what a fun one. Gang. We love you, Philly. Atlanta. Grab the tickets, come and see the boys and we'll see you next week.

[Kevin Ryan]

Peace.