Are You Garbage? – "The Oreo Problem!" (March 26, 2026) Hosts: Kevin Ryan & H. Foley

Episode Overview

In this episode, hosts H. Foley and Kevin Ryan go guest-free for a classic "family episode" that delves into the world of snack foods, particularly focusing on the decline of the iconic Double Stuf Oreo. The conversation spins into a hilarious and nostalgic lament over shrinking portions (shrinkflation), generational differences in snacking, and the morality (or lack thereof) of big corporations. The boys also discuss dirtbag power grid flexing, childhood grocery store trips, hangout spots like hotel bars, and classic garbage behaviors. Lively audience questions intersperse the conversation, fueling relatable digressions on cookies, credit scores, and late-night crew hangouts.

Key Discussion Points & Insights

The Oreo "Problem": Shrinkflation Hits Home (02:12–07:04)

• H. Foley sounds the alarm about his discovery that Double Stuf Oreos are shrinking, launching a passionate rant about snack shrinkflation as symbols of America's decline:
  • "That is a double stuff Oreo... when we were kids, those things, it was double that!" (03:32, A)
  • He mourns the passing of a full, ample Double Stuf: "That stood for something, man."
• Kevin Ryan provides reality checks, noting that the world moves on and new snack innovations exist (“You're living in the past, man. You're hung up on a cookie from the 60s.” – 10:34, B).
• The duo confirms via their producer Luke (C) that many online report the same—less cream, less satisfaction.
• The hosts bicker (in true Philly style) about favorite snack traditions. Foley pines for abundance ("If you can't trust Oreo... where are we at? Just fucking pull the trigger” – 09:54, A), while Kevin craves moderation and tradition (“Give me the straight up the middle, listen, how I like it. That’s just me.” – 07:52, B).
• Memorable quote:
  • Foley: “As a little fat kid who only got regular Oreos sometimes... I used to dream what it would be like to make a double double stuffed Oreo. That's what kept me going as a kid.” (09:21, A)

Chemicals and Snack Authenticity (06:13–08:08)

• Disillusionment about Oreo filling: Foley and Ryan realize "creme" is not real cream, but a glue-like, chemical concoction—another letdown.
• Kevin confesses, "I assumed it was just like frosting." (06:45, B)
• Foley retorts: "Wake the fuck up, you hayseed. It's all chemical." (06:47, A)

Cookie Wars: Oreos, Hydrox, and Chips Ahoy (08:08–11:18)

• The boys recall making their own Double Stuf Oreos as kids because Hydrox cookies (an Oreo knockoff) just weren't the same.
• Deep nostalgia for snack-related childhood ingenuity: “That's what rats did.” (09:14, B)
• Discussion quickly turns to Chips Ahoy and Soft Batch cookies—Foley insists Chips Ahoy are getting even more chocolate chips (“That thing’s packed with chocolate chips.” – 11:06, A).
• Kevin observes Foley’s deep cookie expertise: “I feel like you're having a lot of cookies, and it's coming out in this argument.” (11:18, B)

Cultural Decline vs. Snack Innovation (12:00–14:00)

• Foley appeals for a "cultural revolution," riffing on the need for a Nirvana-like rebirth—equating the Double Stuf Oreo reduction to societal rot.
• Kevin tries to point out that counterculture always exists, but Foley’s not buying it: “Where's it happening?” (12:23, A)

Power Grid Privilege & Utility Dirtbag Moves (24:25–27:16)

Audience Question: Is it garbage to brag about being on a special power grid?

• Foley finds it trashy: “Knowing what grid you’re on is crazy.” (25:01, A)
• Kevin and Luke recall how some neighborhoods bounce back faster due to proximity to hospitals or schools.
• The boys riff on bad weather outages and looting local schools for showers post-Sandy.

Garbage-Style Bill Paying (27:12–30:56)

Audience Question: When did your ‘dirtbaggin’ really begin?

• Kevin explains plate-spinning and paying bills late, introducing his dirtbag father’s wisdom: "There's no debtor's prison." (28:23, B)
• Foley commiserates about his own checkered history: “So they took the car in the middle of the night. You had to move a couple times in the middle of the night. Sure, everybody has three or four identities these days.” (30:03, A)
• The men swap stories about learning to game the system but warn about getting too bold with government debts.

The Hotel Bar as Neighborhood Hangout (39:16–44:00)

Audience Question: Is it garbage if your crew hangs at a local hotel bar?

• Both hosts delight in the idea: “That’s real… that’s fucking awesome.” (40:07, B)
• Foley: “Bartender got a little personality… real clean. They don’t smell like a shitty bar when you walk in.” (40:56, A)
• The conclusion: of course it’s trashy, “but that’s all right.”
• Kevin recalls a college-era crew taking over a friend’s grandfather’s vacant bar—a highlight of his youth involving “heaters, a bucket of beer and chicken wings.” (48:47, B)

Group Dinners & Splitting Checks (48:50–55:00)

Audience Question: Are you garbage if you proactively split the check?

• Kevin and Foley agree it’s practical, especially if your friends try to duck the bill: “I can understand it if you’re like, these fucking guys are animals.” (49:52, B)
• Foley reflects on the awkwardness of splitting checks, particularly on a date—“Are you fucking this guy?” (50:54, A)

Gas Station & Convenience Store Culture: Maverik, Wawa, Sheetz (57:06–64:10)

Audience Question: Thoughts on Maverik—the “Utah Wawa”?

• Foley and Kevin check out the menu live and are impressed: “That place looks fucking sick.” (57:39, B)
• Kevin admires the soda “mixology” culture ("Yo, these Mormons are fucking locked in," 60:45, B), and both hosts confess a love for roadside American convenience: “We spend a lot of time in these places, eating at these places, figuring these places out…” (61:58, B)
• The debate continues: customization versus classic simplicity when it comes to gas station food.

Childhood Grocery Store Memories (65:10–68:10)

Audience Question: When your parents went to 'the store', which store was it?

• Foley and Kevin reminisce about regional supermarkets—Gennardi’s, Shoprite, Super Fresh—and the unique agony and joy of grocery runs as kids.
• Kevin shares the difference between “going to Wawa” (corner market) and “the store” (bigger haul supermarkets).

Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• On Oreos as a Symbol for Society:
  • Foley: “If you can't trust Oreo... where are we at? Just fucking pull the trigger.” (09:54)
• On Childhood Snack Fantasies:
  • “As a little fat kid who only got regular Oreos sometimes... I used to dream what it would be like to make a double double stuffed Oreo." (09:21, A)
• On Corporate Betrayal:
  • “You want to have lady doctors, go ahead. There’s enough going on out there in the world, you’re doing this shit now?” (05:35, A)
  • Kevin: "I always turn to huge corporations when I need to feel nice and cozy." (05:46, B)
• On Dirtbag Lessons:
  • Kevin's dad: “There’s no debtor’s prison.” (28:23, B)
• On Growing Up Garbage:
  • Foley: "From a very young age, you were a dirt ball." (30:52, A)
  • Kevin: "Compared to you, I'm fucking Abe Lincoln." (30:41, B)
• On Group Dining:
  • Foley: "You stormed the beach. That was your D-day." (50:27, A)

Memorable Segments & Timestamps

• Oreo Shrinkflation Rant: 02:12–07:04
• Oreo Filling Isn’t Real: 06:13–08:08
• Cookie Brand Debates: 08:08–11:18
• Dirty Utility Moves: 24:25–27:16
• Dirtbag Credit Lessons: 27:12–30:56
• Hotel Bar Hangouts: 39:16–44:00
• Group Check Splitting: 48:50–55:00
• Maverik & Gas Station Snacks: 57:06–64:10
• Grocery Store Childhoods: 65:10–68:10

Tone and Style

• Conversational and combative: True to their Philadelphia roots, Kevin and Foley riff, roast, and reminisce with loving antagonism and colorful language.
• Nostalgic: The episode is rich with longing for bygone snack foods, lost childhood haunts, and the “good old days.”
• Cynical but loving: While often poking fun at each other's “garbage” credentials and society’s ills, the spirit is ultimately warm and communal.

In a Nutshell: This episode of Are You Garbage? is a joyous romp through the foodways and financial hacks of dirtbag America, as recalled by two comedians who wear their “garbage” with pride. If you’ve ever been passionate about an Oreo, split hairs (and bills) at a group dinner, or measured your moral compass against a gas station hot dog, this family episode will hit home.