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H. Foley
Holy moly. New York City and the surrounding areas. Are youe Garbage and Friends is back. We're gonna be down there at the Comedy Cellar May 18 and June 15. You got two chances to see us, so come on out.
Kevin James Ryan
Yeah. Tickets available@areyourgarbage.com. we got some of our favorite guests coming to play ayg with the crowd. It's a small venue, so get your tickets before they sell out. We'll see you there.
H. Foley
Hey, everybody out there and welcome back to everybody's favorite podcast. This is Are you Garbage? Oh, yeah, it's that little show. We sit down with your favorite comedians and we find out if they grew up to be classy or if they're just a big old piece of trash.
Kevin James Ryan
Trash, trash, trash.
H. Foley
Yeah, that's right. I'm your host, H. Foley. Coming at you on a beautiful day. We're out back here at Toady's in a new edition, unfortunately.
Kevin James Ryan
Oh, no.
H. Foley
Aunt Hoodie came down with shingles.
Kevin James Ryan
Ah, geez Louise.
H. Foley
Not sure what it is. Okay, but don't go nearer.
Kevin James Ryan
Thought it was shingles.
H. Foley
That's all I know.
Kevin James Ryan
Okay.
H. Foley
I don't know what shingles is. Do you?
Kevin James Ryan
Yeah, it's like a. It's a family of the chicken pox.
H. Foley
Is it?
Kevin James Ryan
I think so.
H. Foley
God damn it. I was rubbing her.
Kevin James Ryan
I think if you had to. I think the ones a precursor. Like it's the chicken pox virus in you broad I used to date at. No, I'm joking. I know a girl I knew and I had it in high school or something like.
H. Foley
She's got it.
Kevin James Ryan
Yeah. Who?
H. Foley
Cuddy.
Kevin James Ryan
Okay. Yeah, old brawls. Get it.
H. Foley
Yeah, she's got it.
Kevin James Ryan
I think my stepdad. Someone had it.
H. Foley
Mike, Hos is coming at you from across the table.
Kevin James Ryan
WebMD.
H. Foley
This is what we call a family episode. Just the boys, the bozos and the homies. Just the way we like it. I'll tell you that right now. Give it up for Kevin James Ryan, everybody.
Kevin James Ryan
Hey, what's up, gang? Shout out to you as always. Make sure you rate view subscribe on itunes. Full video available on YouTube. Full video available over there on Spotify. And the boys are climbing the mother friggin charts.
H. Foley
We're in the chart. We are the charts.
Kevin James Ryan
We are.
H. Foley
Yeah, okay. We are the charts.
Kevin James Ryan
I am Queens Boulevard.
H. Foley
We reach the end in the beginning.
Kevin James Ryan
We are in the middle. We are the algorithm. Yeah, take that, Bezos.
H. Foley
Yeah, Bezos. You and Zuckerberg. Fucking dork.
Kevin James Ryan
Yeah, you tell him that guy sucks. Not a 50th, Zuckerberg. Not a 50 year old guy with his hat on backwards, man.
H. Foley
Upside down. I've been thinking about that pair of stolen boots.
Kevin James Ryan
Yeah, they'll never wear a dead man's boots.
H. Foley
My boots aren't stolen, okay?
Kevin James Ryan
These boots are made for farting.
H. Foley
I got them at dsw, dxl. No, no.
Kevin James Ryan
Okay, yeah, okay.
H. Foley
Yeah, I got them at dx.dsw. and they've really worn in. Well.
Kevin James Ryan
Dork Shoe Warehouse.
H. Foley
Free wedgies on the way out.
Kevin James Ryan
Hey, hey. They shove you in a locker, save
H. Foley
5% catching a wedgie on the way down the escalator. Anyway, I've been thinking about that. I really got to keep my mouth shut for a little while.
Kevin James Ryan
Hey, I got. I got 50 bucks as you Don't
H. Foley
I really give shit about anybody? I mean, I can't. I've been thinking about it. There's not really anybody I can run my mouth about and not be like,
Kevin James Ryan
who the fuck are you? But you know why we love you? Why? Because you're gonna do it. But I'm not.
H. Foley
I'm not. I'm telling you, right?
Kevin James Ryan
You were just trashing all of us out there. Fucking did.
H. Foley
I'm not. Because the fun's not in it.
Kevin James Ryan
When you.
H. Foley
When. When you realize when you're like.
Kevin James Ryan
Ah, fuck. Uh huh.
H. Foley
Yeah.
Kevin James Ryan
Yeah.
H. Foley
So anyway, how you doing? How you feeling?
Kevin James Ryan
I'm feeling pretty good. One thing I do want to announce, obviously is.
H. Foley
Let's talk about this.
Kevin James Ryan
A little bit of special idea.
H. Foley
What it is.
Kevin James Ryan
Oh my God. Yeah. Kippy, tell him. This just came across my death.
H. Foley
This ain't about me.
Kevin James Ryan
Special announcement for the New City area.
H. Foley
Let's go.
Kevin James Ryan
We are doing some Ayg and Friends over there at the Comedy Cellar Village Underground.
H. Foley
Who? In the big room.
Kevin James Ryan
Yeah, we're doing one. If you've seen them before, they're on our website. We've done it with the Gramercy Theater, stuff like that. We bring in a few of our
H. Foley
favorite guests to play Are youe Garbage? With the crowd.
Kevin James Ryan
With us. Yes. With us on stage. It's a good friggin time. First one is Monday, May 18th. There's very few tickets left for that. It might even be sold out by the time this comes out. Out.
H. Foley
Yeah.
Kevin James Ryan
And then the next one is.
H. Foley
Get them.
Kevin James Ryan
But get them, obviously. What the fuck? What do you think I'm doing, man? We need this. And then the next one will be the following month, June 15th. Get them. It's. It's like a 200 person room. It's very small, very intimate. They will Go fast. We. We've only been doing a little bit of post, a little bit of sending some emails. So get the tickets. Now we're. Now we're announcing to the goddamn universe. They're gonna go love that comedy. So love the comedy seller.
H. Foley
Love that underground.
Kevin James Ryan
We got some tricks up our sleeve. Some. Some friends are going to be popping in, calling you trash. You guys get to ask your questions. It'll be a good time. So do that fun. We're back, baby.
H. Foley
We are.
Kevin James Ryan
Kinda depends who you ask.
H. Foley
We're trying any attorneys. We're not back.
Kevin James Ryan
Huh? I got a question for you.
H. Foley
What?
Kevin James Ryan
What Just what do you mean? You're my. You're the co host. What are you talking about? Talk to each other.
H. Foley
Yes.
Kevin James Ryan
What? How do you. I don't think we've ever. You know, you're a bit of a hater.
H. Foley
Yeah. I would say that you were going to push back. I'm not pushing back no more.
Kevin James Ryan
You're a bit of a hater.
H. Foley
Yeah.
Kevin James Ryan
Right. Duly noted for fun and also actual some virtual hate. We all. Which we all have.
H. Foley
Yeah. A lot of. And you know, a lot of times it is misguided and I'll turn. I'll turn hard. You know what? I like that guy.
Kevin James Ryan
Yeah.
H. Foley
I just had that with somebody. I can't remember who it was.
Kevin James Ryan
Oh, with people for sure.
H. Foley
Yeah.
Kevin James Ryan
There's been people that you've hated, like, ah, fuck that guy. And then we've had them on. You're like, that's the nicest guy. That guy's awesome.
H. Foley
This was an actor that I didn't like and I was like, you know what? That guy's great.
Kevin James Ryan
Let me guess. He was successful.
H. Foley
Yeah. But I can't remember what he was in just because people have actors they don't like or whatever. You know what I mean?
Kevin James Ryan
You know what I mean?
H. Foley
You know, like, I don't get with this guy. But yeah, I had that with Pattinson for a long time. Robert Pattinson.
Kevin James Ryan
And then he was introduced in a very like queefy kind of manner.
H. Foley
And I was.
Kevin James Ryan
I don't know. But apparently he's a fantastic actor. Oh God, yeah.
H. Foley
Tenet. He's great. Even though that movie like, come on,
Kevin James Ryan
what are you doing?
Guest/Producer
I enjoyed it too.
H. Foley
Excedrin.
Guest/Producer
After that.
H. Foley
Nolan, pull it back a little bit. Devil. The Devil all the time on Netflix. He was. He had this. Did this crazy southern accent which was unbelievable. Also Tom Holland in that fantastic.
Kevin James Ryan
Love that.
H. Foley
Spider Man. And Yeah. Batman, you know.
Kevin James Ryan
Sure.
H. Foley
The Bat. The Batman. So I do that A lot. But what's your point?
Kevin James Ryan
This is more of a Jesus Christ. The fuck? Here's something else. Oh, what's your point? Like, we're not PI. We're not six minutes into a podcast.
H. Foley
And what's your problem?
Kevin James Ryan
That we do together.
H. Foley
And what about it? Yeah, I got some issues.
Kevin James Ryan
I'm walking.
H. Foley
I'm eating a TV dinner.
Kevin James Ryan
How do you. How do you feel with one sock on? How do you feel about the Savannah Bananas?
H. Foley
You're asking me a political question on air like that? They just put 50,000 in Yankee Stadium. I mean.
Kevin James Ryan
I mean, it's tr. It's the trashiest version of baseball.
H. Foley
I don't know what that is. How you.
Kevin James Ryan
Would you go? It's Globetrotter esque. Which was one of the first trashy questions they've ever been to Harlem Globetrotters game.
H. Foley
They put 50,000 people in Yankee Stadium.
Kevin James Ryan
They move tickets. Who do they play, the Washington Generals or what? You know what I mean? Like a mate. Oh, they play like college.
Guest/Producer
They played the party animals in Yankee Stadium.
Kevin James Ryan
I wasn't there. I got a cig and a beer in the outfield.
H. Foley
You're out there grilling.
Kevin James Ryan
I'm up someone bath for me.
H. Foley
I got.
Kevin James Ryan
I got these Johnsonville brats going.
H. Foley
They get too hot, they'll burst and we're screwed.
Kevin James Ryan
Gonna ruin his outfit.
H. Foley
You ever catch a brat pop in your mouth? Not in your mouth.
Kevin James Ryan
Stink. The only way you can come.
H. Foley
Get out of here with that. Yeah, man, I. They're good baseball players, right?
Kevin James Ryan
I think. Yeah. I mean, I don't know. That guy running around in that yellow suit. A little too much for me if I'm being.
H. Foley
They were all wearing yellow.
Kevin James Ryan
No, the owner, which as a businessman, respect to you, he's been told no to all his American dream story.
H. Foley
I don't think is the toast of Are you garbage that we can hate on the Savannah Bananas? I think. I think I have to be a supporter of them.
Kevin James Ryan
I'm not hating on them, but I'm not gonna. I'm not. I mean, more power to. It's just.
Guest/Producer
Yeah.
Kevin James Ryan
I don't know. I just. We've never really talked about it, oddly enough. And it's such a spectacle.
H. Foley
I don't know really what it is. It's.
Kevin James Ryan
It's a lot of too much dancing. Call me old school. I'm a son of a pipe fitter at the day. That's too much dancing.
H. Foley
But I think those guys are like legit baseball players.
Kevin James Ryan
There are a lot of college. I mean. No, they're like really good baseball players. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
H. Foley
50,000 a Yankee Stadium. I couldn't do that. I couldn't put 50,000 up in the Bronx.
Kevin James Ryan
Hey, no way. If that was the case, the seller would be sold out.
H. Foley
Do they do like the YMCA and stuff?
Kevin James Ryan
I imagine it's a lot of like tick tock stuff. They'll be in the crowd and they'll still get. But it's. I. I got to give it to them. They'll be like in like, they'll be in like the fourth row and get up and start doing the cha cha slide or whatever. Walk right down, grab the bat and like being pit. I don't know. I'll make contact, get on base. Also, I don't know if the party animals are the stiffest competition.
H. Foley
We're not talking about five star athletes.
Kevin James Ryan
What other teams do they play?
Guest/Producer
They own like all the.
Kevin James Ryan
They own the league.
Guest/Producer
Yeah, they own the league. So they play.
Kevin James Ryan
So you gotta. So you may like a young player might start on the party animals, have to work his way up to the bananas.
Guest/Producer
I think so.
Kevin James Ryan
So.
Guest/Producer
Or you could start on the firefighters, the Texas Tailgaters, the Loco beach coconuts, and the Indianapolis Clowns.
Kevin James Ryan
What are the chances these are all the same guys? The party animals are the same as the Texas Roadsters or whatever.
H. Foley
I don't know. But I bet you those guys are doing pretty well and probably closing some ass.
Kevin James Ryan
I mean, I think it's a very. Sure. Yeah.
H. Foley
Family oriented organization.
Kevin James Ryan
Yeah. I mean
H. Foley
they're all good looking guys.
Kevin James Ryan
I mean they're all fucking, you know, they're all D1 athletes or fucking, you know, they were in, they were in the minors and stuff like that. I go, yeah.
H. Foley
Shout out to them, it seems.
Kevin James Ryan
Yeah.
H. Foley
How about we get a couple of tickets?
Kevin James Ryan
Where are they playing next?
H. Foley
Close it out. We just missed them.
Guest/Producer
They're playing on Friday the. At Car Max Park, Richmond, Virginia. And then in Vegas, the same. Oh, no, that's a. They have two different teams.
Kevin James Ryan
They have two bananas. Yeah.
Guest/Producer
Two games going on. It seems like the clowns are playing the firefighters and the bananas are playing the party animals.
Kevin James Ryan
Maybe.
H. Foley
Wow.
Kevin James Ryan
What happened? They just beat them. There's a subway series.
H. Foley
What happens when the clowns and the firefighters play? Isn't that like the two dummy teams playing against each other? Or is the. Is. Is the Savannah Bananas just the, the WWE of it? No. What?
Kevin James Ryan
I don't know.
Guest/Producer
That's the banana. They call it banana ball. So the banana ball is the league.
H. Foley
Banana balls. The league. Yeah, Savannah.
Kevin James Ryan
But there's no way the clowns versus the fucking. The roadsters is.
H. Foley
That's like the General is playing. The General.
Kevin James Ryan
Yeah. Is doing 50,000. I mean, they got to be playing like a smaller.
H. Foley
Where are they playing? Out in Vegas. How big does this thing get?
Guest/Producer
Las Vegas ballpark.
H. Foley
What's that?
Guest/Producer
Let's see.
Kevin James Ryan
Who play Las Vegas on a baseball team.
H. Foley
It might have a. I don't know.
Kevin James Ryan
Thanks. Hey, Jim. Nance. Zip it.
H. Foley
That's a deep cut.
Guest/Producer
I mean, you can fit 10k in the. In the Las Vegas ballpark.
H. Foley
I never seen you sell that.
Kevin James Ryan
I've never seen you sell that either. No.
H. Foley
So. Yeah, we should go. I'd be down, check it out. Get back involved. Involved in America. See what's going on out there. A long time.
Kevin James Ryan
Slash, we have been. You on the other end have been in a bit of sabbatical.
H. Foley
Like the Winter Soldier.
Kevin James Ryan
Yeah.
H. Foley
Long Route 66. Been a long time. That.
Kevin James Ryan
The thing is, you know, the last thing you did was Route 66. That was like three and a half years ago.
H. Foley
Touch the heart of America, get back out there, decompress. Back on the trail, huh? No, we're still alive. You're hearing this. You are the revolution.
Kevin James Ryan
If you're hearing this, where we must be all. We all must be dead. I don't know. But I do want to do that in my will. I want to sit all my loved ones around and I'll be in a TV screen and they're going to play something. How fun is that? That's a good time. Hey, you. I'm screaming at one of them. Foley, knock it off. You're eating or something. Going through my personal belongings. I'll bring everybody into my office. It's gonna have rich mahogany and oak wood.
H. Foley
I like that. Very Brewster's Millions.
Kevin James Ryan
Yeah, something like that.
H. Foley
See that movie?
Kevin James Ryan
No, it's good.
H. Foley
John Candy. Richard Pryor.
Kevin James Ryan
I get it. Yeah. I mean, it was like a. That became like a punchline a little bit. Brewster's Millions or whatever. I was more of a blank check, man. Everybody knows.
H. Foley
I never really understood it. He had to spend, like, 63 million to win 630 million. But he couldn't spend. He couldn't have owned anything after spending the 63 million. But he couldn't give it away. He had to blow it.
Kevin James Ryan
Okay.
H. Foley
Which I just. I. 1. And I'll see how. That's hard. Two. I didn't quite understand it.
Kevin James Ryan
Well, you're.
H. Foley
You couldn't give it away, but you can blow it.
Kevin James Ryan
Sure.
H. Foley
Yeah.
Kevin James Ryan
I don't know But I mean. I mean, I'm hearing the plot from you, who voluntarily said you didn't understand it. So I don't think I'm going to be able to really decipher what's going on. I think that's a fair assessment.
H. Foley
Yeah.
Kevin James Ryan
Okay.
Guest/Producer
Banana players. It's a banana ball player draft to keep the league competitive. What, all the teams? Yeah. You have, like, your draft picks.
Kevin James Ryan
Whoa.
H. Foley
So they're playing real baseball?
Guest/Producer
I mean, for what they. I was looking into the how to get onto the teams, and what they look for is beyond elite athleticism. They say, I'm out. Players must show they'd be creative, dance, lip sync, and perform trick plays.
Kevin James Ryan
So I'm out there doing crowd work. What do you do? I get hit with a pitch. Yeah. Okay. Yeah. All right, Fair enough. Well, shout out to the bananas.
H. Foley
Shout out to.
Kevin James Ryan
I hear it's a. I've. From what I've heard, I've heard it's a fantastic night of family fun.
H. Foley
Family fun. There you go.
Kevin James Ryan
Family fun.
H. Foley
We like family fun.
Kevin James Ryan
What is this thing here in a real political mode? We like family fun around here. That's who I am, and that's what I care about.
H. Foley
At Raytheon.
Kevin James Ryan
At. And bitcoin. Let's go. All right, let's see here.
H. Foley
What do you got?
Kevin James Ryan
This one's from Ted Zeke. That's a good one.
H. Foley
That's awesome.
Kevin James Ryan
That's really good. Tzatziki. Isn't it Taziki. I think you pronounce it. Ted Ziki.
H. Foley
I pronounce it tzatziki.
Kevin James Ryan
Okay.
H. Foley
You weren't gonna like that.
Kevin James Ryan
What?
H. Foley
That I was gonna say very correctly.
Kevin James Ryan
I think in that instance, you say it very correctly.
H. Foley
Tzatziki.
Kevin James Ryan
Yeah. I think in, you know, your mushmouth, toothless delivery, usually it's tzatz, which.
H. Foley
I don't know if I mentioned this. Somebody said when I say prima donna, I'm saying pre. Pre Madonna instead of prima donna.
Kevin James Ryan
I say prima donna, too. Like this is before Madonna came out. Yes. Yeah. I always thought my first. I thought it was about Madonna, which.
H. Foley
What the hell were we doing?
Kevin James Ryan
Prima donna.
H. Foley
Yeah.
Kevin James Ryan
I don't know. I wasn't around, man. I came online after that, man. Post. I'm post Madonna.
H. Foley
Sometimes I'll just go back and I'll just listen to a bunch of her hits.
Kevin James Ryan
Mm.
H. Foley
Material Girl.
Kevin James Ryan
Make you feel like a nice old lady.
H. Foley
Dude, she's great.
Kevin James Ryan
Yeah.
H. Foley
Material Girl's hot.
Kevin James Ryan
Yeah. I was too young for the. For the major hits. I remember everybody listening. It was on and like the hits. But the movement of it I was out on.
H. Foley
Her and Michael were like very similar. Just monsters.
Kevin James Ryan
Yeah. I caught the. The kind of. The tail end of those kind of people where I was like, this shit stinks. Where there was like very.
H. Foley
You're like Deftones poppy now.
Kevin James Ryan
They scared me. Flip loved the Deftones. That. That dark music. I was a little too Irish Catholic boy for. What about corn? Corn a little bit. I never owned an album, but I liked as a Limp. Limp Bizkit is as crazy as I was allowed to go. Yeah, I might. I did get.
H. Foley
You have to get loose when you gotta go home for a nice dinner.
Kevin James Ryan
I did get a Slipknot CD one year. Only listened during the day when people were home. I was not. That was a freaky music.
H. Foley
Might as well be watching Faces of Death. Get that fuck out of here with that.
Kevin James Ryan
I also didn't spend too much time in Hot Topic. I was in and out.
H. Foley
You ever get scared on Instagram? I do.
Kevin James Ryan
From what?
H. Foley
I just like. If I catch a bad algo and it starts, like, getting scary on the night of whatever, and it's like, scary shit. I caught one the other night. I'm in the apartment solo and what. I ain't used to this joint to begin with. Okay. But I get a good vibe in there. I don't feel like there's any, any, any, anybody else in there with me
Kevin James Ryan
that's small enough. I think it'd be impossible.
H. Foley
But I caught this video about this musician in Nashville who was never any good. This is the 50s. He was never any good. Then all of a sudden he had, like, a couple of songs that got played on the radio and people would, like, all stop and watch it. And then some audio engineer went back and listened to it and said that there was another voice in it and it was some type of like. Like mind control thing. And it turns out this guy had, like, gone to an old bookstore and felt like this old book of, like, Satan spells and, like, how to put spells on people.
Kevin James Ryan
This is the worst story I've ever heard in my life. This is crazy, dude. What? They're fucking scared. Bored me to death. That thing stinks.
H. Foley
It scared me.
Kevin James Ryan
No. That's wild. Yeah.
H. Foley
Scared. Anything where they do like that.
Kevin James Ryan
I hate what you're doing with your hands. And a book of spells.
H. Foley
Anything where they say, like, if you listen to it backwards, you can hear the devil. That. Yeah. I don't like that.
Kevin James Ryan
Devil worshipers were huge at one point.
H. Foley
Huge.
Kevin James Ryan
Yeah.
H. Foley
You couldn't go into the woods. Oh, man, it's not far than a pentagram.
Kevin James Ryan
The. Hey, Manson, relax, will you?
H. Foley
Listen to all you blue collar guys out there. I'm talking about Brunt, God damn it. Brunt is the way to go. Brunt's the kind of boot that you can actually show up to the job site with.
Kevin James Ryan
Yeah.
H. Foley
All right. They're not these pretenders acting like they're real guys, designers. They're not designers. They're real guys. They're comfort. They look good. You don't got to break them in. Do yourself a favor. They've been designed by guys in your field. You can trust Brunt. Get on Brunt. Get out there, kick some ass with Brunt.
Kevin James Ryan
Yes. These are boots you actually wear to work. You beat them up, you can put in real hours, and if they're not right for you, you can send them back.
H. Foley
Send them back.
Kevin James Ryan
That's how confident Brunt is. They're putting their money with their mouth. Listen, you're on a job site. It's wet, it's cold, it's hot, it's dry. Whatever it is, go put it to the test. Brunt's got your back. They go, we know we got the real deal. We know you do. You're gonna love Brunt. That's how I love the confidence. Fantastic. And Brunt stands behind what they make. You can wear them to work, like you said. If they're not very few, just send them back. I don't know any other brand that's doing that. And right now, for a limited time, our listeners get $10 off at Brunt. When you use the code garbage at checkout, just head to Brunt workwear.com use the code garbage and you're good to go. Brunt was tired of the workwear brands out there cutting corners. You work too hard to be stuck in uncomfortable boots that don't hold up so they'll build something better. Boots are insanely comfortable and built for any job site. For a limited time. Our listeners get that 10% off at Brunt. When you use the code garbage at checkout, just head to bruntworkware.com use the code garbage and you're good to go. After you order, they're gonna ask you how you heard about Brunt. Do us a favor, tell me. Heard of the show. Love you, Kim. You know, Factor Body, been on Factor for a while.
H. Foley
Gag. We've been talking about Factor forever, and it's even more important now. The days are getting longer.
Kevin James Ryan
Yes.
H. Foley
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Kevin James Ryan
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H. Foley
Are you going Favorite family fun, wholesome. Ted Zeke.
Kevin James Ryan
Ted Zeke. Shout out to you Ted Mr. Zeke.
H. Foley
It's probably a Savannah banana.
Kevin James Ryan
Are you garbage? If you scheduled a payment for your phone bill knowing it wasn't going to clear just because you know they won't turn your service back on for another week. That was just sketch. I remember my mom even told me just schedule the payment. Get the payment scheduled. You'd sign in, you'd have to make it for that day, but make it you could. I think you can make it 14 days in advance. Just go. I'll figure that out later. But let me, let me stay connected.
H. Foley
Yeah, that was a great move for sure. They do leave a lot of windows open to keep the plates spinning, which is nice.
Kevin James Ryan
It behooves them. They don't. I mean they shut you off. Then you're, you're not Gonna go back to them. You're gonna go to another provider. So they lost you. They'd rather keep you in going. Well, keep the slow drip. Well, that. You know, we got this guy right where we want him.
H. Foley
Yeah.
Kevin James Ryan
Also, you can't get shut off at fucking Verizon. And then 18, he's gonna go, hey. Which I'm surprised we're on the street, is your money's no good out here.
H. Foley
One time I had a really high credit card and they shut.
Kevin James Ryan
They canceled my card one time. They cancel. Yeah. Your money's no good, dude. You're bad money on the street.
H. Foley
And I want to be like, hey, what do you. What are you doing? Like, well, you can reapply. I reapply. I'm just gonna fuck you now.
Kevin James Ryan
Mm.
H. Foley
What's in it for me to pay it? You know, your credit. That's dead anyway.
Kevin James Ryan
Sure. I'm just saying that's what it. I mean, it's also. They're gonna write that debt off as non recoupable funds or whatever. Your bad debt. They get it off their books.
H. Foley
Yeah.
Kevin James Ryan
And you're. They're done with you.
H. Foley
I'm 50. That's the one thing. I'm 50. I got no kids. That's one thing you can't scare me with anymore. My credit.
Kevin James Ryan
What is it now, do you think?
H. Foley
Who the knows?
Kevin James Ryan
Because it was pretty good when the show started out. It was good.
H. Foley
It could be in the fives. I don't know.
Kevin James Ryan
That's crazy.
H. Foley
Could be in the sixes. I don't know. Eddie. A killer man with no fear.
Kevin James Ryan
When we started, I was 650. I just got word I'm 810.
H. Foley
810.
Kevin James Ryan
What I've been doing, I'm off my credit cards. Almost exclusively off the credit cards.
H. Foley
Right.
Kevin James Ryan
Few things on the credit cards, but as much as I was spending off the credit cards, I'm a cash operation. Cash word.
H. Foley
You cash guy.
Kevin James Ryan
Two bills. Cash right there. I only know more than that a week.
H. Foley
There you go.
Kevin James Ryan
It's fake. Counterfeit Chinese yen.
H. Foley
I'm in and out of the city before they even know what's going on.
Kevin James Ryan
Got it. A Wohop, Lower east side with an egg roll. It's the marker test and all. They're good. Shout out to Mr. Wohop. I'm off that. And I've increased my credit limits while my spending goes down.
H. Foley
Ah, very smart.
Kevin James Ryan
Because it's based on open credit.
H. Foley
Based on open available credit.
Kevin James Ryan
Yeah.
H. Foley
Nice.
Kevin James Ryan
So that's what I did.
H. Foley
I dig it.
Kevin James Ryan
Cash you, on the other hand.
H. Foley
Yeah.
Kevin James Ryan
And we're back.
H. Foley
Can't threaten me with nothing no more.
Kevin James Ryan
Me?
H. Foley
No, not you.
Kevin James Ryan
Feels like you're talking directly to me if I'm being honest.
H. Foley
You just hear a gun cock.
Kevin James Ryan
Hey. Next question from Mr. Zeke for Mr. I need a new set of drawers.
H. Foley
An old pistol.
Kevin James Ryan
No. Damn. Well, you can't afford bullets.
H. Foley
Luke. Shut up.
Kevin James Ryan
All right. This one's from uncle bbq. Ten Dollar investor. Never have one Red. Are you garbage if you have a couch in your kitchen, Bozo friend of mine has one in theirs. And let's just say it's not what you would call an open floor plan. Yeah. That's a tough. I don't know if I've ever even in like a college house or so that wasn't. At least you know, the rooms were connected. A couch. And that's gotta be fun though. A little bit. Sit down.
H. Foley
I've always been. You know this about me.
Kevin James Ryan
I'm not gonna like whatever this fact is.
H. Foley
Yes, you are. I've always been a comfort guy. I've always. I've always looked at social norms like that and said why you know. And a couch in the kitchen. Very cozy.
Kevin James Ryan
It's trashy. I mean we're not here to discuss if it's cozy or not.
H. Foley
Very trashy. I'm with you 100%.
Kevin James Ryan
Especially couches don't belong in the garage. Love a couch in a garage. Don't you though Love for Some of my. Some of my finest memories are on a couch in a garage.
H. Foley
Always the threat of spiders if you're taking a nap in the garage.
Kevin James Ryan
These weren't napping cow. These were drug couches. They weren't really napping couches.
H. Foley
But I remember the Hogan family on that Jason balk. No, that Jason Bateman was on back in the day. They hadn't they. It was an open floor plan and nice. And I believe in their kitchen along the window there was like a banquette.
Kevin James Ryan
Banquettes are different. That's meant to be around.
H. Foley
Yeah. Take a nap in there after where you're supposed to be doing your home.
Kevin James Ryan
Sure.
H. Foley
But yeah. This place I picture. I can see this kitchen.
Kevin James Ryan
I know the couch.
H. Foley
Yes, I know.
Kevin James Ryan
The couch is a little too big for the room, I feel.
H. Foley
And the bottoms of it are probably not. The legs are gone.
Kevin James Ryan
Yeah. It's sitting on. It's flat.
H. Foley
Yeah.
Kevin James Ryan
It's tough. Yeah. In see we. In the burbs we do have a little more of an open floor plan but we do have like a. The Shay's Lounge, however, whatever you want to call. It's more. It's like, you know.
H. Foley
Shay's Lounge.
Kevin James Ryan
Is that what it's called?
H. Foley
No, that's like a straight thing.
Kevin James Ryan
A chazzay.
H. Foley
Chazzay?
Kevin James Ryan
It's a girl I went to school with a Shay's Lounge.
H. Foley
You mean shade?
Kevin James Ryan
No, I was making a joke shot.
H. Foley
You talking about Sad Day? The singer?
Kevin James Ryan
No, you are.
H. Foley
What's her song?
Kevin James Ryan
I don't know. Anywho, I'm saying. My wife did this and that. Even felt a little.
H. Foley
She had a chaise lounge in the kitchen.
Kevin James Ryan
You've been to the house? It's not in the kitchen. But it's not. Not in the kitchen. I can see the kitchen.
H. Foley
I give you that.
Kevin James Ryan
You know what I mean? It's a little. I don't think. I don't think there should be cloth in where there's cooking and eating. That's to be wiped down, sprayed, cleaned, disinfected. Not every day, but, you know, I mean, there's a mess.
H. Foley
Other than a banquet.
Kevin James Ryan
Other than a banquet. A breakfast nook, if you will. But that's all build in, I feel.
H. Foley
My buddy in high school, his parents had a. Like a diner booth in their kitchen.
Kevin James Ryan
That's cool.
H. Foley
Oh, it was. And it was. It was. It was the. Like the corner one. It was awesome.
Kevin James Ryan
Yeah, that's really cool.
H. Foley
It was awesome.
Kevin James Ryan
When I moved here, I had to keep all my stuff in a kitchen, and it was on a banket.
H. Foley
I know exactly that Kitchen banquet you're talking.
Kevin James Ryan
Yeah.
H. Foley
That was not cool. That was next to a washer and dryer, which was next to an oven,
Kevin James Ryan
which was also next to a refrigerator.
H. Foley
Yep.
Kevin James Ryan
Which is al. Also next to all of my worldly
H. Foley
belongings, which I then inherited.
Kevin James Ryan
Inherited a good amount of those when Kevin lost weight.
H. Foley
My first pair of salvage denim.
Kevin James Ryan
Uhhuh.
H. Foley
Only pair.
Kevin James Ryan
Sure. These things were as stiff as a board.
H. Foley
They were great. Great. Did very well in those jeans.
Kevin James Ryan
Yeah. Didn't poop himself once.
H. Foley
Were they button fly maybe?
Kevin James Ryan
They were Gap freak. What?
H. Foley
Button fly.
Kevin James Ryan
I mean, I don't remember what they were.
H. Foley
That's swinger.
Kevin James Ryan
First of all, you're wearing my pants,
H. Foley
Guy Button fly jeans.
Kevin James Ryan
You were wearing them.
H. Foley
I know you had them.
Kevin James Ryan
I know, but you can't.
H. Foley
I want to go out and buy button fly jeans. What am I from the 70s? Going down to the regal beagle like a freak? What are you doing in those things?
Kevin James Ryan
What were you doing in those things?
H. Foley
Yanking butt balls out of your. What are they called?
Guest/Producer
Dingleberries.
Kevin James Ryan
No, Berry dingers.
H. Foley
No. What's the. The balls you pull out of the butt.
Guest/Producer
Butt bugs.
H. Foley
No, not back.
Kevin James Ryan
Like you don't know, huh? Probably got one in balls.
H. Foley
Anal B ain't.
Guest/Producer
You're kidding me.
H. Foley
Couldn't think of plugs all day. Sure, I like him as a snack.
Kevin James Ryan
And take them on the road with me. Easy to travel with. All right, let's see here. This one's from Ben 10, homie. Here. You ever have to back your car up on the highway? That's a bad look. You see it? I would never do it. I would just go to the next exit. What I'm sure you have. You probably did it last week.
H. Foley
I get very scared if I miss the exit I'm supposed to get off at. I don't know what's up.
Kevin James Ryan
So let's put everybody at danger.
H. Foley
I don't know how far down I gotta go. I don't know how weird and dark and scary and bad this is gonna get.
Kevin James Ryan
I mean, it's not like last house on the left on a highway.
H. Foley
If I'm there and it kind of works, I'm back. I'm scooching back a little bit and it tearing off.
Kevin James Ryan
That's wild. You're dangerous. You're dangerous.
H. Foley
Oh, I'm dangerous. Butt plug falls out of my.
Kevin James Ryan
I told you. I was on a mega bus one time and the guy did it.
H. Foley
It was crazy losing your license, dude.
Kevin James Ryan
On the New Jersey Turnpike. Or it might have been a Chinatown bus.
H. Foley
Everybody hang on.
Kevin James Ryan
It was. Dude, he's. Everybody shut up. Well, dude, the traffic was horrible on the Jersey Turnpike coming up from Philly. It was a Greyhound, if I remember correctly. Man, that Greyhound bus on Filbert street or whatever in. In Philly is crazy.
H. Foley
Under the overpass or whatever that is. It's right?
Kevin James Ryan
I don't think so.
H. Foley
Yeah, but 10th and Filbert overpass there.
Kevin James Ryan
Oh, like the convention China sound.
H. Foley
Buses.
Kevin James Ryan
Yeah. No.
H. Foley
Yeah, that Greyhound bus station in Philly, man.
Kevin James Ryan
There's about four. 4,000 people there. And one guy working, and he ain't having it. He's fielding quite all fucking off the wall questions. People trying to, you know, wrong tickets, this, that, the other people just living in there. Brutal. But traffic was horrible, and I guess he was just like, oh, we're gonna sit in traffic for like three hours or whatever. He went. Nah, Hops over on the. Hops over on the shoulder and just. I mean, a good quarter mile, just all the way back. Fucking whipping work this guy was, dude. Some ladies next to me. I don't Think this is illegal? I'm like, honey, zip it. Ain't nobody's got shit to do today. Yeah, fuck you. That's trashy. Trashy.
H. Foley
Move.
Kevin James Ryan
Dangerous. You know what? I also don't like the fucking. And I've done everybody's every. You know, if you're. You realize your exit's coming up and you do like. And you're like, just fucking go one more. Like, why stop it.
H. Foley
You don't do the same thing.
Kevin James Ryan
I'm not saying I haven't, but I'm also.
H. Foley
It's a point of pride. Get over safely.
Kevin James Ryan
Yeah. Not all the time. It's safely. That's what I'm saying. Or the guy, like, posted up at the. He's in there. You know what I mean? He just gets to that part where all the shattered glass and tires are. You're jammed up. If you're sitting in no man's land.
H. Foley
Oh, man, there's a bunch of broken glass around you. That's a fucking kill spot right there.
Kevin James Ryan
That's bad news.
H. Foley
Yeah.
Kevin James Ryan
All right, let's see here. This one's from Josh. $10. Investor never had one. Red. Are you garbage? If used Chuck E. Cheese tokens to get shopping carts from the Audi. It's the same size as a quarter. So I get a free cart.
H. Foley
Gentlemen, huh? Good for you.
Kevin James Ryan
I respect it.
H. Foley
Yeah, I don't mind ripping off Aldi, to be honest with you.
Kevin James Ryan
I mean, but it's a cold.
H. Foley
You're.
Kevin James Ryan
You're making away with a quarter. If you're stealing the cart. I'd still give them the quarter. What are we talking, a quarter?
H. Foley
I think that's silly.
Kevin James Ryan
What?
H. Foley
I'm sorry. You're charging a quarter for your cart? You're charging for carts. What's that all about?
Kevin James Ryan
I don't know. Luke. Look into that. Is it to, like, return it? There's got to be something. It can't be like a money making thing because it.
H. Foley
I just think that's nickel and diamond.
Kevin James Ryan
I understand.
H. Foley
I would assume the American consumer
Kevin James Ryan
German company stealing our fucking Deutsche marks.
H. Foley
Exactly. That's what I'm talking about.
Kevin James Ryan
I'm with it.
H. Foley
I don't care what you're charging for grapes.
Kevin James Ryan
I assume there's some sort of, like, psychological behind it to, like, return it. Do you get the quarter back?
Guest/Producer
Yes. So you asked for the quarter as a deposit to incentivize customers to return their carts to the corral.
Kevin James Ryan
I gotta say that I'm okay with that. They're not charging. They're charging. They're Taxing if you don't return it.
Guest/Producer
It's particularly an Aldi practice.
H. Foley
Google saying that's what they do. That's their family thing. They're big into quarters and carts.
Guest/Producer
Ideally you need less employees collecting the cart from the parking lot because people then return.
Kevin James Ryan
I used to be a cart master myself. I gotta say I'm against this. You're taking away hard working American jobs. Something that I know about and care
H. Foley
about and usually those kids. You know what it's nice to employ though. It's not. They're nice people and they should have a job. Talk about me. Kinda talking about people that usually do that kind of work.
Kevin James Ryan
Me and my friends all did it.
H. Foley
Yeah.
Kevin James Ryan
Yeah. Something to say?
H. Foley
No, I don't have anything to say.
Kevin James Ryan
Huh.
H. Foley
I just think, you know, there's a specific kind of people that, that, that hard workers. Sure. That get those jobs. A lot of people with special needs do those jobs. And I think it's important that they have those jobs available. They're not muscled out by a quarter.
Kevin James Ryan
My special need was a chicken parm for lunch every day.
H. Foley
I understand that. I understand.
Guest/Producer
This is kind of funny. I looked up how much Chuck E. Cheese tokens are and it was about $5 for 20 tokens. So a quarter. They're the same.
Kevin James Ryan
It's the same conversion rate.
H. Foley
Wow.
Kevin James Ryan
Yeah. Because that's not free.
H. Foley
Gets it back too. So what's the difference?
Kevin James Ryan
This guy, this guy's full of malarkey.
H. Foley
Who is it?
Kevin James Ryan
I don't know. I think I did. Josh.
H. Foley
Josh, Call me.
Kevin James Ryan
I got a few ideas to blow this scheme wide open.
H. Foley
I've been dying for a Chuck E. Cheese pizza. I don't know why.
Kevin James Ryan
I don't. I mean I probably. When was the last time you had one? You feel a hundred years ago.
H. Foley
Forty years ago.
Kevin James Ryan
Yeah. I don't even know if I fully remember it.
H. Foley
30 years ago I would say you were 20. Probably.
Kevin James Ryan
Okay.
H. Foley
Can't remember why, but somewhere around there.
Kevin James Ryan
Chuck E. Cheese party, I would presume.
H. Foley
Crazy. 30 years ago I was 20. 40 years ago I was 10. 40 years ago I was 10 years old and my whole life in front of me, baby.
Kevin James Ryan
Mm.
H. Foley
That crazy?
Kevin James Ryan
Not really. This is 40 years ago. I mean if you like. Right. I think. You think 40 is a small number.
H. Foley
Just 40 years ago I was 10 years old.
Kevin James Ryan
I don't know if that's like a no relative.
H. Foley
Well, I've lived longer. I'm like towards the end of interstellar. He's young. I've been over in what's it called
Guest/Producer
the Tesseract or whatever.
H. Foley
No, Ton 19 or whatever the fuck it was. That huge ass fucking black hole.
Kevin James Ryan
There you have it. Yeah, I don't know. Yeah, I guess. I don't just go like, I'm 40 now, so that was my whole life. And you're going just 40 years ago. So every second of my. Every memory I have, you're going, oh, just that ago.
H. Foley
Just like that.
Kevin James Ryan
Even though for me to say 30 years ago, I was 10. 30 years is a long time.
H. Foley
30 years ago, a long time. 40 years ago, not that long.
Kevin James Ryan
Yeah, exactly, Kate.
H. Foley
I don't know when the last time I had Chuck E. Cheese.
Kevin James Ryan
I just. I just missed the exit. Pulled over, backed up, got off the ramp to Foleyville. I don't.
Guest/Producer
It's kind of coming back. The Chuck E. Cheese Pizza for, like, nostalgia. Like, it's on Uber Eats. Like you can get it.
Kevin James Ryan
Really? Yeah.
Guest/Producer
Like, I saw, like, some Instagram videos about, like, people ordering the Chuck E. Cheese pizza.
H. Foley
Is that.
Kevin James Ryan
There's no Chuck E. Cheese in New York, is there?
Guest/Producer
I don't know.
H. Foley
There's a couple of.
Kevin James Ryan
Well, I know a guy that can look that up. Me? Someone? No. Him.
H. Foley
Oh.
Kevin James Ryan
What. What do you do around here?
Guest/Producer
You don't have a phone right now?
H. Foley
Yeah, I got water in it.
Kevin James Ryan
Club soda, Sprite. Queens. There's probably one Queens, Hackensack, New Jersey.
H. Foley
There's one in Long Island.
Guest/Producer
Yeah, multiple in Long Island. A lot in Long Island.
H. Foley
Rockville Center.
Guest/Producer
Probably also one up in the South Bronx.
Kevin James Ryan
South Bronx. South. South Bronx. I ain't going up there.
H. Foley
No.
Kevin James Ryan
I got shit to do. Crazy.
H. Foley
You ever go to that Pelham Bay Mall up there?
Kevin James Ryan
Pelham Bay? Yeah. Yeah, it's not great. I feel any mall with a parking garage is bad news.
H. Foley
Shady.
Kevin James Ryan
It's just. You feel like you're gonna get got. And that's a lot of those malls out there you like. It's just I grew up going to Suburban Mall, Oxford Valley Mall, Shout out in the Chamonix Mall, also Franklin Mills Mall. You park in the dry. You park in a parking lot, you walk. It's like an outdoor thing that's like. You pull in. You're like a little rat in a fucking cage. You don't get to see the sunlight the whole time.
H. Foley
Yeah, I don't like that. I don't like that. Not for me. Not for me, not for him. Kevin, we got time about Cash app.
Kevin James Ryan
Who don't love that Cash App? You love that Cash App.
H. Foley
I love that Cash app. More important than that New Cash App Green where you get a lot of money back.
Kevin James Ryan
Yeah, baby.
H. Foley
Great new program Cash App is doing. Cash App. You trust them reliable? Try Cash App Green. Get yourself started. Get yourself moving.
Kevin James Ryan
Yeah. Cash App just released a new status program the way people actually spend called Cash App Green. It unlocks new ways for you to pay, get rewarded and easily grow or manage your money on your terms. Now, when you spend at least $500 a month with the Cash App card or Cash App pay, you earn green status which unlocks benefits like up to $200 of free overdraft coverage, higher borrow limits and custom personalized cash back offers. Every Friday at places you love to shop. Turn every day spending in the Cash App Green. Download Cash App today or visit Cash App New to learn more about this and other great features. Launching now for a limited time, new Cash App Customers can earn $10 if they use the code CASH APP10 in their profile and sign up and send $5 to a friend within 14 days. Terms apply. Cash App is a financial service platform, not a bank. Banking services provided by Cash App's bank partnership. Prepaid debit cards issued by Sutton bank member fdic. Cash App Green overdraft coverage. Borrow Cash App offers and promotions provided by Cash App a Block Inc. Brand. Visit Cash Stop at Cash App legal podcast for full app for full disclosures. Do it.
H. Foley
Do it. Where is Daredevil? I'm right here.
Kevin James Ryan
Don't miss the return of Marvel Television's Daredevil Born Again.
H. Foley
So what's next?
Kevin James Ryan
I feel liberated.
H. Foley
We're gonna take this city back over medicated in an all new season. Now streaming only on Disney.
Kevin James Ryan
They're hunting us. It's time we started hunting them.
H. Foley
I can work with them.
Kevin James Ryan
This should be tons of fun. Marvel Television's Daredevil Born Again now streaming only on Disney. All right, let's see here. This one's from Umbro Undies. That's funny. We were just Talking about that $10, homie. Never have one red. Youse ever walk a bicycle up a hill? Because you were too to ride up it.
H. Foley
Fuck yeah.
Kevin James Ryan
Well do that. When I was a kid and every other car that went by, I felt embarrassed. I mean, yeah, that's dangerous. You're talking about reversing on the highway.
H. Foley
Bicycle. You start going up a bike a bike bike start going up a hill.
Kevin James Ryan
Hill bike.
H. Foley
And you can't hoof it. You start rolling backwards.
Kevin James Ryan
We had a dangerous. We were obviously, you know, we were a pretty big bike squad for a couple of years pre cars, whatever summer riding around Dirt jumps in the one thing I don't know if we ever thought, just like the dirt jumps that just existed, like dirt bag generation to dirt bag generation, you would find them and be like, whoa, these are overgrown.
H. Foley
You have to top them off a little bit.
Kevin James Ryan
Yeah, you take that was like our job. We'd go, fuck, we found these. Go back to my boy's house, get a shovel, get a rake, get a whatever, you know. And I mean just like spend a week cleaning them up, getting them ready, building them up. It would rain, whatever. That was fucking fantastic. But there were some hills that like, we would all just kind of get off and be like, this one's too. It's like, you're also like, I'm not fucking killing myself half the day in front of me. You know what I mean?
H. Foley
If you didn't trust your equipment that well, like, I've had some bikes where I've done that. Try to be the big man. I've started grinding up the hill and then the handlebars go forward on me me.
Kevin James Ryan
It's a heavy load. It's a heavy payload.
H. Foley
Or you pop a chain or something like that.
Kevin James Ryan
Yeah, Brutal, huh?
H. Foley
Man, I remember the first time that handle. I didn't know handlebars would do that to you. And they just me and then you're handle bars over the top. Bad news.
Kevin James Ryan
I would suck too. I remember one time we rode our bikes mad far before, you know, self, whatever. We were probably like at least an hour plus away in another neighborhood. Like we went to like another whatever. We're like, let's just fucking go. Summer day, hot as I got a flat and like four other guys were like, well, you know, we'll walk with you or whatever. And then like after a while they're like, later. And like I'm just left me sweating my ass off in a pair of cargo shorts.
H. Foley
You couldn't hit a gas station, pump
Kevin James Ryan
it up, it was pop, like whatever. Nail in it. Something like non. No, I'm not. I mean, this is a suburbs. Not like there's like fucking gas stations there. Like a bike store every two blocks.
H. Foley
I would have fucking thrown that bike in the woods.
Kevin James Ryan
River.
H. Foley
No, I just would have thrown in the woods, covered it up and walked back and got my mom's car hot wired this thing.
Kevin James Ryan
When he talked, I was like 12 years old.
H. Foley
I go back and tell my nieces
Kevin James Ryan
at work, this is when like there was. I wasn't talking to a parent for another seven hours. They're gone. Or ghost. My dad ain't Picking up? Yeah, shit to do.
H. Foley
Yeah, I'd stash it and come back for it. Like the time machine.
Kevin James Ryan
Sure. But there was a thing. Cuz Danny's bike got stolen by one of the bad kids in the neighborhood. That there was a thing. I think if I came home without that bike that they know.
H. Foley
They don't know where you are for eight hours. She's checking bikes? Yeah, she's tossing cell. Where's your bike?
Kevin James Ryan
No, but is she a pagan?
H. Foley
Yeah, checking for your ride.
Kevin James Ryan
It's a patch over.
H. Foley
She comes home at three in the morning, she's looking for your bike.
Kevin James Ryan
Coming home at 3 in the morning. The fuck she doing? She is a pagan. I guess. No, but I think it would have been like. You don't Leon, fucking throw a. What? I don't even know what a $200 bike or whatever the fuck it was. I don't know what I had. I don't know, I don't know the 90s inflation rate or whatever. You don't throw a bike that they. That's just not what that was.
H. Foley
So you just humped it all the way back to the house?
Kevin James Ryan
All the way back to my boy's house.
H. Foley
Man, that iced tea you slugged down
Kevin James Ryan
was probably Wild Cherry Pepsi my boy had. My boy would get to 30 packs of wild Cherry Pepsi.
H. Foley
I bet you were parched when you got home, meatball. Those legs were probably burning on the inside, weren't they?
Kevin James Ryan
Fucking fatty probably had to sit down on his couch.
H. Foley
Oh, you probably crack open a box
Kevin James Ryan
of Cheez Its and kids snacks were out of this world. Dude,
H. Foley
I'm gonna need about four episodes of Frasier to shake this off with
Kevin James Ryan
a Becker kicker,
H. Foley
man. The day I had his dad sitting,
Kevin James Ryan
I grabbed a remote from his dad. The hell you watching? Turn the news off.
H. Foley
His paper just comes down a little bit. The day I had. Holy.
Kevin James Ryan
His dad, they were the loudest family. His dad used to scream, big guy, huge guy, real new money family. His dad was the first. First guy I ever saw had a three day hangover. He laid on the couch also. What's wild. I was at his house for three days. They had a big party. I guess he got all up. He laid on the couch in his underwear. They had one of those big screen TVs that were like two feet deep. Like the big wooden joint, you know what I mean? Like a garage door, huh? Yeah. Pull a ride and mower out of that thing. He laid there, ice packs on his head, everything. I get it now, but I remember being like God, Damn. The. I mean, my dad drinks a lot, but what the is this guy?
H. Foley
Did he sleep there?
Kevin James Ryan
Yeah, he didn't move. Dude didn't move.
H. Foley
Was he shaking off heroin? Detoxing,
Kevin James Ryan
jammed up? That's a party,
H. Foley
man. Dad's in the 90s. This is whatever.
Kevin James Ryan
Yeah, this is probably 99. Yeah, late 90s, early two. Early 2000s. I think it turned when I was in seventh grade, maybe seventh. Eighth grade was 99. 2000. Big year for dirt bags. The chronic 2001 had just dropped.
H. Foley
Big year for dirt.
Kevin James Ryan
It was, dude. For the 9. 9, 2000 girl. I wanted to get baggy. Juvenile was hot. Cash, money, records. Dre was back. Cottonmouth Kings hit. Hacky Sack was in skateboarding. MTV was cooking, man. Limp Biscuit corn. Boom, baka boom. Slipknot. You couldn't tell a shit.
H. Foley
I got you.
Kevin James Ryan
Oh, three day hangovers. Now I get it. If I got. If I get that up and I got. I do, have I three days to just shut it down? I'd be shutting it down.
H. Foley
I love three days to shut it down.
Kevin James Ryan
I don't have three days to shut it down.
H. Foley
Three days of shut down is something else, man.
Kevin James Ryan
All right, let's see here. This is from Zach. First time, long time. Do you say coupons or coupons? I'm. Coupons.
H. Foley
Coupons.
Kevin James Ryan
Say coupons. Q.
H. Foley
Any coupons?
Kevin James Ryan
Like the letter coupons?
H. Foley
Yeah, coupons, Luke.
Guest/Producer
Coupons.
Kevin James Ryan
Coupons. That's what it is. Coupon.
H. Foley
Sounds French.
Kevin James Ryan
Get the epitome. The epidemiologist.
H. Foley
Coupon.
Kevin James Ryan
Coupon.
H. Foley
Yeah. See if you have a coupon. Mom, do you have a coupon?
Kevin James Ryan
I've never understood coupons. Even when I was a cashier at Acme, they. They read them to me.
Guest/Producer
Originates from the French word coupon. A piece cut off.
Kevin James Ryan
Ah. Luke. Comes from the French word loser.
Guest/Producer
Louis. Bonjour. Foley. No.
Kevin James Ryan
Going to France very soon.
H. Foley
You are going to France very soon.
Kevin James Ryan
Two days in, out.
H. Foley
So am I.
Kevin James Ryan
Bank job. Hitting the Louvre, Cleaning it out, moving on.
H. Foley
I'm coming, too. No, you're going to be in Paris the same time you are.
Kevin James Ryan
When am I going?
H. Foley
A couple of weeks.
Kevin James Ryan
You go couple weeks.
H. Foley
Now you go ahead.
Kevin James Ryan
Oh, thanks.
H. Foley
Yeah, I'll be holding it down here.
Kevin James Ryan
Oh, God. Maybe I should cancel the trip.
H. Foley
Pay me to go to Europe now.
Guest/Producer
Go somewhere, Hank.
H. Foley
No, I'm in a routine, dog. I'm in a rebuild routine.
Guest/Producer
Very stoic now.
H. Foley
Very stoic. Very locked in, dialed in, focused. Bang, bang, bang. Bed 11 up, dawn kicking ass. Bang. That's what I do at 11 up,
Guest/Producer
noon
Kevin James Ryan
breakfast out of bed two, back in bed three.
H. Foley
Yeah, now, no vacations. Focus dialed in three months. Bang, bang, bang. Okay, cool. You go out there, have your fromage, your snails. You go out there and get softer. I'll be here getting harder.
Kevin James Ryan
Why pause? Damn, dude,
H. Foley
you come back, I'll be rock hard.
Kevin James Ryan
I'm waiting for you. Edging. When's Kibby get back? He'll be texting me in the group. And Kimmy, what time's your flaking in? Bit of an edger. Why?
H. Foley
What?
Kevin James Ryan
Ew. I mean, okay, dude, you do whatever you want. Yeah. We were never a huge coupon family.
H. Foley
My mom was. She liked to coupon.
Kevin James Ryan
I think if it was like big enough or someone got it was like Denise would use it. She just never. Maybe just never really had the time to be dipping, you know, or whatever. But the big promotional sale, she would hit heavy. We shopped at Super Fresh, which I think is probably now defunct.
H. Foley
Shouldn't be.
Kevin James Ryan
Which they were. They were like. To me, that was the whole food. They were like the. They were the biggest. There was most of them.
Guest/Producer
They're banging good.
Kevin James Ryan
They're still banging, yeah. Where at?
Guest/Producer
Everywhere. They got one in Elmhurst.
Kevin James Ryan
Oh, up here? Yeah. I haven't seen one since the one close by us, Super Fresh. But she would do heavy on the. They were America's Choice was their brand.
H. Foley
And that's Shop right, isn't it?
Guest/Producer
Oh, wait, they got bought out by Shop, right? It says they shuttered and they liquidated in 2015. But I guess maybe they're keeping, like the brand. Maybe bottom, like it says, Acme or shoprite bought them liquidated.
H. Foley
What's that mean?
Kevin James Ryan
Get rid of everything. So America's Choice shopper. I might have started carrying America's Choice brand. I don't know. But that was Super Fresh growing up. And we would buy all that shit. The 10 for 10, the 2 buy one, get one, the 3 for 5 type thing. I never coupons, but special. You were big on specials.
H. Foley
Do you remember what kind of crazy deals they would do on yogurts?
Kevin James Ryan
Yeah, they were 10 for 10, man. I was. I was.
H. Foley
I mean, what.
Kevin James Ryan
I was a cashier during the fuck
H. Foley
else do you get 10 for 10 Dannons? They would fucking do.
Kevin James Ryan
They would stack them. It'd be like. They. It looked like a factory. They'd stack them this high on the belt. Deep. Deep as the belt could go. And those. Let me tell you, you buy the six packs, right? Those Dan. And six packs, they got edges to them. You Try to put them in a plastic bag. That bag shredding. You got a double, triple bag. Them thing. Yeah. Going through bags left and right. Uh huh.
H. Foley
They'll cut you. I can open up a letter with those things.
Kevin James Ryan
Yeah, I was man.
H. Foley
10 for 10 yogurts.
Kevin James Ryan
That was. That was my bestone, dude. That was crazy.
H. Foley
Yo play la yogurt. All kinds of stuff. The French with the just foil top. I used to crush them. Love the yogurt back in the day. Now it's all the Greek shit, which I dig. But you miss the old school stuff, you know?
Kevin James Ryan
Yeah. You're an old school guy.
H. Foley
I'm an old school guy.
Kevin James Ryan
I think when I think of you.
H. Foley
Yeah, old school. I'm not a fruit on the bottom kind of guy. I like it all mixed in. Bananas and strawberries.
Kevin James Ryan
You're a fruit in the bedroom kind of guy.
H. Foley
Blueberry. Sure. I'm bringing a little exotic fruit. Dragon fruit. Pineapple.
Guest/Producer
You like tricks?
H. Foley
They're like tricks.
Kevin James Ryan
Yeah.
H. Foley
The yogurt. No, that missed all that stuff.
Guest/Producer
Really?
H. Foley
Yeah, that's. That's. That's you, dude. It's cool. It's cool, man.
Guest/Producer
I'm not hating on it wasn't for you. Tricks are for kids, obviously.
H. Foley
Yeah, tricks. Like tricks tricks. No, I mean, you like tricks, right?
Guest/Producer
No, actually this is a cereal.
Kevin James Ryan
It kind of cereal.
H. Foley
You're stupid.
Kevin James Ryan
That was whack.
H. Foley
It was whack when they started making it. When they make it shaped like fruits. It used to be just round balls. Then they were banging. They were delicious. Then they it up like they up everything once Cobain died. Here we are.
Kevin James Ryan
What?
H. Foley
Huh? It's all that about Vietnam you're really
Kevin James Ryan
going after Top Rayus, the Savannah Bananas. Tricks. Oh man. I have to write a few apology letters after this one.
H. Foley
His comments are his own and yes, affiliated with Toddy LLC.
Kevin James Ryan
All right, let's see. This is from Jared. $10, homie. Is it garbage that your mom at the kitchen table divides up your grandfather's ashes out amongst the siblings with the kitchen spoon and Ziploc bags? That's fucking crazy. There's got to be a more proper way to do that.
H. Foley
I would assume medically, yeah, but what
Kevin James Ryan
would it be then?
H. Foley
I think you could probably have the place that does it.
Kevin James Ryan
Do it. Let's say that doesn't happen. You gotta kind of spoon it.
H. Foley
I mean, I think you at least gotta take that shit to the garage. I think you gotta throw on some gloves. I think you gotta get some decent receptacles. Where the. The thing Is in there where The. Where the plastic bag is in there. Because I got my. I have some of my dad's and it's in a plastic bag in a thing. I open it all the time.
Kevin James Ryan
And we're back.
H. Foley
I keep something in there and I open it to make sure it's in there.
Kevin James Ryan
Would somebody steal it? Why. Why wouldn't it be in there?
H. Foley
Because I'm crazy and I like to check.
Kevin James Ryan
Okay.
H. Foley
Yeah, okay. But, yeah, he's just in a bag. He's in a plastic bag. It's weird. I don't even know if that's him.
Kevin James Ryan
Sure.
H. Foley
What are you gonna say?
Kevin James Ryan
I'm gonna pull out of this conversation. I'm gonna make. I'm gonna put my producer hat on for a second and pull the yolk up on this. And Luke,
H. Foley
you can't do that at the kitchen. That's human waste or whatever it is. You can't be whacking that there. It's not a kilo.
Kevin James Ryan
You do the stash house?
H. Foley
Yeah.
Kevin James Ryan
I don't know. I mean, that's. That's wild. Yeah, but yeah. Yes, wild. I. I don't know. I don't. Not many people in my family were ever cremated. We're a body family.
H. Foley
You are a body family. I respect it. We've always been a body family too. I didn't. I didn't know anybody could start getting cremated until 10, 15 years ago.
Kevin James Ryan
Yeah, I don't know. I think every. Nobody was been cremated because you always
H. Foley
had to go through that thing. Oh, I'm gonna be there.
Kevin James Ryan
That's all I know.
H. Foley
The viewing. Nobody ever looks, right?
Kevin James Ryan
No, we were. Where are we talking about? On air. Should tan them.
H. Foley
Hey, we were talking about it.
Kevin James Ryan
Why not tan them a little bit?
H. Foley
Hit him with a spray.
Kevin James Ryan
Well, sprayed. The Hollywood tans.
H. Foley
Yeah. The girls that come in.
Kevin James Ryan
He got him in a booth.
H. Foley
Dominican radio playing.
Guest/Producer
When I was in like third grade, my dad told me he wanted to be maybe like, not like I was like 7 or 8. He told me, my cousin and my brother, we were all driving into the city that he wanted to be cremated and we all started crying.
H. Foley
What?
Kevin James Ryan
Not now.
H. Foley
You.
Kevin James Ryan
Nah. What are you talking. You still cry? Are you talking about calling a 7
H. Foley
year old kid a. Yeah, that had a freak.
Guest/Producer
My cousin asked the question and he was like, I shouldn't have asked it.
H. Foley
I'm so sorry.
Kevin James Ryan
They're all puking out the window.
H. Foley
What he asked. He asked my cousin was.
Guest/Producer
I think, you know, someone had just died and my cousin was like, uncle
H. Foley
Lou, do You want to be cremated?
Guest/Producer
Do you want to be cremated or what? And he's like, I want to be cremated. And then my brother started going. And then I went. And then my cousin was just.
H. Foley
I ruined everything. What'd your dad say? Shut up.
Kevin James Ryan
No, I don't think.
H. Foley
He just turns the radio up real loud.
Kevin James Ryan
Corn's playing Boom packa boom ba boom paka baca. I'm just a freak on le Even
H. Foley
into the city, the camera gets further away.
Kevin James Ryan
Turns off the bridge. I remember I asked my dad if he was an organ. I just had assumed. I never told you this, cuz
H. Foley
I'm an organ.
Kevin James Ryan
D during the night. Yeah. Nobody wants them. You give them to the wolves, the vultures to pick over whatever's left. Feed.
H. Foley
Feed me the prairie dogs at this.
Kevin James Ryan
Chat me up and feed me to the pool. Oh, there's a big campaign.
H. Foley
Take a liver that big, Gonna make some rhino real happy.
Kevin James Ryan
What's up? I'm Luke from the outdoor booth. Outdoor boys gotten you. We're gonna field dress of Foley.
H. Foley
He's waking up, the plane flying over.
Kevin James Ryan
Gotta make sure this one's not toxic. That was a big campaign in the 90s for.
H. Foley
Yeah.
Kevin James Ryan
Organ donation. And I just assumed, you know what I mean? We were. I never really ever thought anything about it. He's like, dad, are you an organ donor? He's like, nah. And I'm like, what? Why? And his response was something along the lines of, I don't like that. And I was just like. I, like, pressured him again, you know? You know when, like, someone doesn't really have it, it's just like a feeling. They don't really. And he goes, I don't know, man. I came into this with all my stuff. I'm leaving with all my stuff. I was like, all right, fair enough.
H. Foley
Oh, the only thing I worry about, if I do that and then get cremated, maybe like a backdrafter me or something like that. What if I donate all my organs and then they. Then they.
Kevin James Ryan
You donate them to science or to somebody.
H. Foley
Science is a good idea. Let them study my brain. He was fat.
Kevin James Ryan
Now it got so flat.
H. Foley
No. Yeah. Now to help somebody.
Guest/Producer
But like. Yeah, like a pure oxygen pocket in you.
H. Foley
Yeah, yeah.
Guest/Producer
Burns down the crematorium.
H. Foley
Yeah. Something, I don't know, catch a backdraft.
Kevin James Ryan
Keep saying that. But you said you don't know what you mean.
H. Foley
Because there'll be a cavity in me. There'll be a hole. And so, you know, if it pops open.
Kevin James Ryan
Mm. I want to burn.
H. Foley
Right. Cook. Well, I don't have pizza. Pizza bubbles on me.
Kevin James Ryan
Look at gonna be ash.
H. Foley
Mm, eventually. But I want a nice slow cook. Oh, and slow.
Kevin James Ryan
Do you want to be cremated or no?
H. Foley
Fuck yeah.
Kevin James Ryan
Okay.
H. Foley
Yeah.
Kevin James Ryan
Do you have that written down anywhere? No. Am I the executor of this?
H. Foley
What do you mean?
Kevin James Ryan
I mean, I would be running point on all this, I think, my brother.
H. Foley
Would something happen now? Yeah, yeah. Just tell them what I'm telling you.
Kevin James Ryan
Well, it's documented.
H. Foley
I'm sure you guys have a.
Kevin James Ryan
Let's make our videos right now.
H. Foley
What's up, motherfuckers?
Kevin James Ryan
I just thought you could kill me, huh? Joke's on you. There's a bomb in the building.
H. Foley
I told you. Told you I'd have the last laugh.
Kevin James Ryan
I got. I got, like, red wire I'm wrapping up around my hand. If you look under your seat, that's what we call C4.
H. Foley
Let me see the baby. Bring the baby close to the camera.
Kevin James Ryan
All right? Santa Claus is dead. We gotta wrap it up. Backdraft, gang.
H. Foley
We love you to death. We'll see you next week. Peace.
Hosts: H. Foley & Kevin Ryan
Theme: Diving into the world of "trashy" baseball, especially the Savannah Bananas, and tackling fan questions about trashy habits.
This fast-paced, irreverent "family episode" of Are You Garbage? is all about baseball's trashiest teams—with the Savannah Bananas front and center. Foley and Ryan riff on everything from minor league baseball showmanship and their own trashy childhoods to "garbage" life hacks, crazy parental confessions, and the weirdest places to put a couch. Classic AYG humor and self-deprecating charm make every tangent a blast, while producer Luke and the crowd keep the questions coming.
Bike Tragedy Stories
Parental Hangovers & 90s Culture
Savannah Bananas banter:
"It's the trashiest version of baseball." – Kevin Ryan [07:29]
"They put 50,000 people in Yankee Stadium!" – H. Foley [07:41]
"They're all D1 athletes...probably closing some ass." – Foley [10:33]
On cheap life hacks:
"I respect it." (on using Chuck E. Cheese tokens at Aldi) – Ryan [35:21]
"You're making away with a quarter. If you're stealing the cart, I'd still give them the quarter." – Ryan [35:26]
On reversing on the highway:
"Let's put everybody at danger." – Ryan [32:29]
"If I'm there and it kind of works, I'm back. I'm scooching back a little bit and tearing off." – Foley [32:41]
On dividing grandpa's ashes:
"That's human waste or whatever it is. You can't be whacking that there. It's not a kilo." – Foley [58:00]
On 1999/2000 nostalgia:
"Big year for dirt bags." – Ryan [49:28]
Foley and Ryan’s signature Philly blue-collar ribbing, mixed with nostalgic deep dives and absurd hypotheticals, keeps the energy high. No topic is too lowbrow or off-limits, but it’s all delivered with warmth (and plenty of self-mockery). The pair’s ability to turn any tangent—be it the Savannah Bananas, coupon pronunciations, or Aldi carts—into a relatable exploration of “being garbage” is at the heart of the show.
This episode mixes uproarious takes on the circus of minor league baseball, confessions of childhood and adult trashiness, and classic Are You Garbage? segments, all steeped in Philly attitude. Whether they’re debating banana costumes or reminiscing about bargain yogurt, the hosts never miss an opportunity to uncover (and gently celebrate) America’s most lovable forms of garbage.
For more, catch the full video on YouTube or Spotify—and don’t miss upcoming live shows if you’re in NYC!