ARE YOU GARBAGE? – "Turning Up the Heat!" w/ Ian Fidance
Episode Date: March 9, 2026
Hosts: Kevin Ryan & H. Foley
Guest: Ian Fidance

Episode Overview

In this raucous, off-the-rails installment, Foley and Kevin welcome back crowd favorite—and self-described “odd guy”—comedian Ian Fidance. The trio riff relentlessly about tattoos, birthdays, bad parties, trashy habits, and what really counts as feeling “classy.” With equal parts affectionate roast, confessional, and pure mayhem, the episode delivers what AYG fans expect: hilarious, brutally honest explorations of what makes someone “garbage,” with a lot of love just beneath the swearing and insults.

Key Topics & Highlights

1. Ian’s “Back Piece” and Tattoo Antics

[02:16] – [09:02]

• Ian arrives late, explaining he was up all night getting a “back piece” tattoo, spanning “from my shoulders down to my ass.”
• Foley and Kevin immediately go in on the tattoo:
  • "Would you get a butterfly tramp stamp?" — Foley [02:44]
  • Ian shares it’s a grim reaper holding a woman: “Death is always on my back, and women will be the death of me.” [08:32]
• Ian faints during the session, admits he’s bandaged up and can’t dress well:
  • “Sweatshirt, sweatpants. Bad idea. Sweating already.” — Ian [11:09]

2. Ian’s New Show: “Odd Guy Doing Odd Jobs”

[03:03] – [04:15], [53:41] – [55:38]

• Ian talks up his YouTube series:
  • “Partnered with YMH… been filming it out of pocket for a year… best fans in the world.” [03:49]
  • Episodes range from being a wrestling “heel” to working as a pit boss at a BBQ joint and oyster farming.
• “It’s not a podcast. It’s an old-school TV show. The only TV show on Spotify Video.” — Ian [53:53]
• Episode stories: Tattoo licensed in Wisconsin ([55:01]), oyster farming in Maine ([55:20]), BattleBots, canine training, Sicilian pizza [55:38].

3. Gifts, Inside Jokes & Trashy Banter

[10:14] – [11:08]

• Ian gifts Kippy a baby blanket ("Little Prince of Garbage") and Foley a cat-themed trinket.
• Jokes about re-gifting and swapping trashy shirts and habits.
• Endless poking fun at each other's weight, fashion, and life choices:
  • "You look like a homeless guy getting a job interview." — Kevin [05:52]

4. The Debate: Miserable Birthday Parties

[15:17] – [28:09]

• Kevin and Foley discuss Foley’s sad work/friends dinner; Ian equally admits to not having a proper birthday bash.
• "My friend... Threw me a birthday party at a bowling alley." — Ian [28:37]
• Sobriety comes up:
  • “In early sobriety, it... I'd cool it on the drinks around the guy for a minute.” — Ian [26:04]
• They plan a future joint celebration—maybe bowling, maybe Medieval Times ([32:41]).

5. Comics Unleashed Appearance & Behind-the-Scenes

[16:50] – [24:33]

• Ian shares tales from taping "Comics Unleashed":
  • Mispronunciation, botched intros, awkward handshakes.
  • Wild anecdote about a fellow guest sharing a family AIDS scare on air:
    • “The producer dropped her clipboard, runs out... she goes, ‘I think I blacked out’...” — Ian [24:01]

6. New York Heat & Trash Living

[13:31] – [14:13]

• The trio bicker about the overbearing heat in the studio/apartment.
• Ian: “Why is the heat so hot in here though? For real? It's like crazy.” [13:27]
• Foley invokes Spanish Flu-era heating and rent control lore; Ian calls out his decades-old living arrangement and “squatter’s rights.” ([12:58])

7. Rat Lung and Trashy “Dares”

[44:03] – [46:29]

• Ian recalls eating (or rather biting and spitting) a slug as a young carpenter on a dare—sidetracking into rat lungworm disease and nearly “talking himself into a coma”:
  • “If I ate it, I would have went into a coma and died… rat lung, happened to a kid in Australia.” — Ian [44:43]

8. Feeling "Classy" and Life as an Adult

[49:05] – [49:15]

• Ian, when pressed for "rich" feelings:
  • “Smoking a cigarette in bed… makes me feel alive, like a real adult. Or putting a bow tie on my cat and sharing a meal.”
• Hosts: “I gotta push back. I think on both of them…” [49:18]

9. Randomized Roasting & Memorable Jabs

Throughout

• Styles/hats:
  • "Do you have to get out of here? Because you have fifth grade picture day after this?" — Ian to Foley [19:18]
• Sweat:
  • "Put a T-shirt on... Also, a collared shirt with sweatpants and Timbs is a wild choice." — Kevin [35:25]
• “You look like a Hasidic Jew in hiding.” — Foley [37:37]
• "Haystacks Calhoun" — running joke on wrestler/lookalike [37:25]

Notable Quotes & Moments (with Timestamps)

• “Death is always on my back and women will be the death of me.” – Ian, describing his back tattoo ([08:32])
• “Smoking a cigarette in bed… makes me feel alive, like a real adult.” – Ian ([49:05])
• “You look like a homeless guy getting a job interview” – Kevin to Ian ([05:52])
• “I bit it in half. Spit it out. Thank God, because if I ate it, I would have went into a coma and died because I would have gotten rat lung.” – Ian ([44:43])
• “That was the first joke I made, telling me what he was like… I’m bisexual, and when you look like me, the crowd was like, ah. And Byron [Allen] was like, pause. It was no bueno.” – Ian on Comics Unleashed ([17:02])
• “Let’s Ian do it.” – Group consensus on planning brunch ([58:12])

Episode Timeline: Key Segments

| Time | Segment/Topic | |----------------|------------------------------------------------------| | 00:00–01:15 | Merch plug, show intro, shout-outs | | 01:15–03:03 | Ian’s intro, tattoo story begins | | 03:03–04:15 | Ian’s show “Odd Guy Doing Odd Jobs”—background | | 04:46–13:32 | Roundtable: fashion, weight, old jobs, living trashy | | 15:17–28:09 | Birthdays, friendships, sobriety | | 16:50–24:33 | Comics Unleashed: TV tales, live audience antics | | 32:41–36:42 | Birthday plans: bowling, Medieval Times, roller skate| | 44:03–46:29 | Ian’s slug-eating bet, “rat lung” | | 49:05–49:15 | “Classy” feelings: cigarettes in bed, cats in bowties| | 53:41–55:38 | Ian recaps Odd Jobs episodes, plugs YMH partnership | | 56:07–end | Lunch spots, Good & Plenty candy, wrap-up, love-fest |

Tone, Style, and Takeaways

• Authentic Trashy Banter: No holds barred, roast-heavy tone, but the camaraderie and genuine affection are palpable.
• Ian as “Odd Guy”: Embraces his eccentric persona, loving cats, doing “odd jobs,” proud of being both “classy” and “garbage.”
• Fans of the Show: Will appreciate inside jokes (sweaty shirts, CPAP banter, “back pieces”) and rapport.
• Key Takeaway: The most “garbage” thing might be thinking you aren’t, and “classiness” is in the eye of the beholder—even if that just means sharing a smoke in bed with a cat in a bowtie.

Ian Fidance: “Come on, I'm Ian. One of the things we've talked about recently and we've been talking to guests and, you know, you're, you know, wacky guy, kooky guy. What is one of the things that you might do... that makes you feel classy and, like, rich?... Smoking a cigarette in bed. Makes me feel alive, like a real adult.” ([49:05])

Kevin/Foley: “We should do brunch. Let's Ian do it.” ([58:09])

For more trashy tales, check out Ian’s “Odd Guy Doing Odd Jobs” on YouTube, and follow the “Are You Garbage?” crew for more hilariously unfiltered conversations.