Amanda Peet Returns

Summary

Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard

Episode: Amanda Peet Returns

Date: March 9, 2026
Host(s): Dax Shepard (A), Monica Padman (B)
Guest: Amanda Peet (C)

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Episode Overview

This engaging episode marks the return of actress, writer, and producer Amanda Peet to Armchair Expert. The conversation weaves through Amanda's personal history, family dynamics, upbringing, Hollywood career, experiences as a mother, philosophical debates on attention and validation, and an in-depth look at her newest projects—especially the film Fantasy Life and the series Friends and Neighbors. As always, Armchair Expert delves into the messiness of being human, dropping into honest discussions about privilege, mental health, raising children today, and what it means to grow (and age) in the public eye.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

Amanda Peet’s New Projects

• Fantasy Life: Amanda's new film, described by Dax as “a small, contained, really intimate, lovely movie,” exploring mental health in high-functioning adults, privilege, and midlife dissatisfaction.
  • Notable Moment: “These are high-functioning people, people who have mental illness and they’re getting on with it.” (C, [63:55])
• Friends and Neighbors: Amanda stars in the new season (premiering April 3rd), which further explores themes of wealth and existential unhappiness among the privileged.

Family Background & Upbringing

• Amanda discusses her lineage, including her great-great-grandparents’ New York legacies, such as Sam Levy (Manhattan Borough President) and Roxy Rothafel (who designed Radio City Music Hall and invented the Rockettes).
• Interfaith & Education: Amanda’s upbringing in New York and London, attending Friends Seminary, a Quaker institution.
  • “The idea is that there is no priesthood. There’s no hierarchy in Quakerism whatsoever.” (C, [48:43])
  • They reminisce about the value of meditation-like “meeting for silence” and a childhood with more independence and exposure (e.g., school building housing the local homeless population).
• Amanda’s parents’ complex marriage and eventual divorce, the influence of her mother’s psychoanalytic pursuits (including Amanda starting psychoanalysis at age 13) and the normalization (and critique) of therapy in upper-middle class families.

Parenting, Validation, and Social Media

• Amanda reflects on parenting teenage daughters—especially relating to validation via Instagram and modern beauty standards, comparing her own youth (“leaving the house to get attention”) to today’s digital validation.
  • “I was sort of like, by posting, you are automatically in a conversation, you’re automatically inviting someone to look…” (C, [42:57])
• Debate unfolds about the value of external validation—posting bikini pics, doing intellectual work, and how both seek attention (and why society judges one more than the other).
  • “If you weren’t gifted intelligence and you were gifted looks, that person’s not allowed to exploit the gift they got? I don’t know why one is better than the other…” (A, [38:37])
• Discussion about generational divides in risk, safety, and independence (“free-range parenting”) and the challenges of instilling resilience and generosity in privileged children.
• Dax talks about his own approach: “Acceptance is the cure to all my problems. … I just accept that’s how this generation is, I’m not going to change the tide.” (A, [89:01])

Career, Art, and Class

• The tension between artistic “purity” (theater, “high” art) and commercial work (“Jack & Jill”, commercials) in Amanda’s family, New York’s culture, and her own sensibilities—alongside Dax’s appreciation for “no hierarchy” of taste.
  • “Pretending is pretending. This whole hierarchy of what is culture, I think it’s a little snooty.” (A, [55:40])
• Experiences of being an actress: dealing with parental disinterest and the feeling of being replaceable (especially via doppelganger confusions with Lake Bell).
  • Anecdote: “I’m not Lake, I would pay so much money to see how I said it.” (C, [80:56])

Philosophy of Wealth and Status

• The hosts and Amanda discuss privilege, the diminishing returns of wealth on happiness, the complicated optics/virtue signaling of status items (handbags, expensive cars), and labor markets.
  • “After a certain point, wealth plateaus in terms of what it does for happiness, then can even diminish it…” (paraphrased from [69:41-70:02])
  • The hypocrisy of complaining about being overcharged, especially in light of high Hollywood salaries vs. underpaid professions (teachers, healthcare workers).

Mental Health, Therapy, and ADHD

• Amanda and the hosts reflect on being labeled with ADHD/anxiety, the current diagnostic zeitgeist, skepticism, and the overlap of symptoms.
  • “[ADHD] is dysregulation. So anxiety is dysregulation. Like they’re all overlapping in comorbidities.” (A, [10:33])
• Amanda’s experience with psychoanalysis, its merits and limitations, and broader trends in pathologizing (and overmedicalizing) modern experiences.

Aging, Legacy & Self-Perception

• Amanda transparently shares stories about losing her mother, confronting mortality, and the evolution of her acting and personal satisfaction.
  • “I just feel like I’m just better at it than I used to be.” (C, [85:36])
  • Her new focus is on the process and team, rather than chasing external approval or career “goals.”
  • Dax echoes this: “I used to have so many goals. I couldn’t live in the experience of it because I was trying to get somewhere the whole time.” (A, [86:03])

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• On Children’s Brutal Honesty:
  “Do you guys ever miss being young and attractive?” (Amanda’s daughter, [08:00])
• On Smoking Coolness:
  “Parliaments and Marlboro Lights… Those are the cool girls, yeah.” (A, [05:10])
• On Therapy:
  “13 is a good age to enter deep psychoanalysis?” (A, [34:57])
  “Absolutely not.” (C, [34:58])
• On Validation:
  “If you weren’t gifted intelligence and you were gifted looks, that person’s not allowed to exploit the gift they got?” (A, [38:37])
• On Age-Gap in Movies:
  “All the movies we have shown... there’s not a woman... it’s that water you’re swimming in thing.” (A, [58:58])
  • Regarding Something’s Gotta Give:
    “They were like, this is disgusting.” (C, describing daughters’ response, [59:45])
• On doppelganger anxiety:
  “I’m not Lake. I would pay so much money to see how I said it.” (C, [80:56])
• On life today vs. youth:
  “You think of youth as being the time when you’re the most curious… but it’s all about you.” (A, [88:04])

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Timestamps for Important Segments

• [02:51] Amanda arrives (and heads to the restroom—menopause jokes)
• [03:35] Old flames—Ben Stiller, Jessica Alba stories
• [06:13] Parenting daughters, intergenerational karma & adolescence
• [08:49] Teenage Amanda and generational/fashion conflicts
• [09:49] ADHD, anxiety, and pop diagnostics in adulthood
• [15:00] Re-introducing Amanda: family history, NYC heritage
• [20:02] Amanda’s mother’s legacy, CIA analyst career
• [23:07] Childhood in London vs. NYC; cultural contrasts
• [33:40] On starting psychoanalysis at age 13
• [38:47] Validation debate (looks vs. intellect)
• [42:57] Social media, Instagram, male gaze, and generational tension
• [47:43] Dax compares school alumni/famous classmates
• [48:43] Quakerism, consensus, and inclusivity
• [55:38] Amanda’s acting trajectory, parental support
• [58:58] Watching old movies with kids—outdated gender mores
• [63:11] Discussing Fantasy Life and themes of privilege and dissatisfaction
• [69:35] Happiness, wealth, Kahneman’s “narrative self”
• [75:02] On value, labor, and “overpaying” as rebalancing injustice
• [85:36] Amanda on her newfound satisfaction with acting
• [88:04] Curiosity, aging, and shifts in self-experience
• [89:01] Dax’s AA perspective on acceptance and parenting
• [91:31] Amanda’s "hospital triage" story—checking privilege and parental instincts
• [95:13] “Skyboxification” of society and participating in privilege
• [99:10] Dax wants to hang out with Amanda and Paulson, game talk
• [103:09] (Fact check) Dax’s colonoscopy story—hilarious interlude

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Episode Tone & Language

• Candid, playful, and vulnerable: The trio share personal anecdotes with levity—and occasional sharpness—that moves naturally between humor, critique, and reflection.
• Self-aware and meta: There are recurring jokes about therapy, New York snobbery, fame, and being mistaken for others ("glazing").
• Philosophical: The conversation doesn’t shy from wrestling with big-picture societal issues (mental health, feminism, wealth inequality, the evolution of parenting).

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Final Thoughts

Amanda Peet’s return to Armchair Expert is both funny and substantive, zig-zagging through private histories, cultural critique, and the paradoxes of fame, parenting, and privilege. For listeners, it’s a masterclass in reflective conversation, with Amanda’s warmth and humility matching Dax and Monica’s signature blend of curiosity and irreverence.

Highly recommended segments:

• Amanda discussing her relationship with her daughters and Instagram ([42:57], [46:37])
• The philosophy of attention, achievement, and validation ([38:47]–[42:11])
• Dax and Amanda’s mutual challenge to generational snobberies around art and validation ([55:38]–[56:32])
• The doppelganger/Lake Bell stories ([80:56], [81:07])

Watch for:

• Fantasy Life, out March 27th
• Friends and Neighbors, new season in April

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“What you guys started is very special. And to be so curious-minded and make a career out of being curious and having the humility to ask people... We're so in need of that kind of humility and curiosity. That combination is very special. And humor.” — Amanda Peet ([15:43])

Transcript

[A]

Welcome, welcome, welcome to Armchair Expert. I'm Dan shepherd and I'm joined by Lily Padman. Hi, good morning to you.

[B]

Good afternoon to you.

[A]

We have a babe on Today.

[B]

Oh, God, I love her.

[A]

Uber talented fox, Amanda Pete. Actor, producer, playwright. Her credits include the Whole Nine Yards, A Lot Like Love, Something's Gotta Give, Dirty John. And she has a new film out that I genuinely loved. I hope it comes across in the interview because I really, really enjoyed it. It's called Fantasy Life and it is out on Lincoln's birthday, March 27th.

[B]

Yeah, that's right. You forgot a really important credit. Studio 60 on the Sunset Strip, one of my favorite shows.

[A]

Great. Aaron Sorkin, written by Tommy Schlami, directed.

[B]

And guess what? She's in it with her best friend, Bird. Sarah Paulson.

[A]

Yes. And then of course, the new season of youf Friends and Neighbors. Incredible show. She's incredible on that. And that is April 3rd. So it's a one, two fucking punch. That's one week you see the movie and then the next week you start the show.

[B]

Get more Amanda.

[A]

It's Amanda Pete Month. Please enjoy Amanda Pete. This episode of Armchair Expert is Presented by Apple TV, the new US home of Formula 1. Starting March 7, you can watch complete all access live coverage of every Grand Prix, including practice, qualifying and sprints, all in one place. Watch every race live only on Apple tv. This podcast is brought to you by Squarespace, the all in one website platform designed to help you stand out and succeed online. When we were building the Armchair Expert website, Rob actually used Squarespace to get it up and running, which was a smart choice because they've got everything you need in one place to create something that actually looks professional. What really stands out is their blueprint AI feature. It's like having a design assistant that helps you build a site that doesn't look like every other cookie cutter template out there. Answer a few questions about what you're trying to do and it creates something that actually fits your vision. If you're someone who offers services, whether that's coaching, consulting, creative work, whatever, Squarespace handles all the business stuff too. Payment processing, scheduling, client management. No more juggling five different platforms just to get paid for what you do. The whole thing is designed so you can focus on your actual work instead of wrestling with website tech, which, let's be honest, most of us would rather avoid. So head to squarespace.comdax for a free trial, and when you're ready to Launch, use code DAX to save 10% off your first purchase of a website or Domain.

[B]

He's an upchurchman.

[A]

He's an upchurchman.

[B]

He's an.

[A]

How are you?

[C]

Wait, can I pee?

[B]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yes, yes. Take your time. How did it go?

[C]

It was successful.

[B]

Good.

[C]

And trust me, with menopause, it's like,

[A]

what kind of symptoms do we have? Did you watch our menopause expert? It was quite a banger.

[C]

And I need to do that.

[B]

Marilyn Claire.

[A]

Great episode.

[B]

She kind of looks like you. I think maybe I told her that. Maybe I told her she looks like Courtney Cox.

[A]

Oh, my goodness.

[B]

It's all a very good, very circle

[C]

to be in the mush.

[A]

And this will be a ding, ding, ding, because this will come up in the project that you just did and that you're here to promote. Funny enough, we'll get into doppelgangers, but we're going to earmark doppelgangers. I had to look up who you had dated today. I got curious of who, like, you had dated famously.

[C]

Really? Yes.

[A]

I didn't know.

[C]

Who have I dated for?

[A]

Many. Not many, but Ben Stiller. That's of no.

[C]

How did you know about that?

[A]

Cause I looked on the Internet.

[B]

The Internet knows everything.

[C]

When have I talked about that?

[A]

I have no idea.

[C]

But right now, and right here, AI knows that.

[B]

Was it like one date then short.

[A]

Right. 97ish.

[C]

Later.

[A]

Okay, right.

[C]

Later. Way later. 97. I was. Yeah. No, I was working at a restaurant or something.

[A]

Wait, you think no one knows that?

[B]

Wasn't that funny? Yeah.

[A]

Oh, okay. Would you prefer it we keep it there? No. Okay.

[C]

I mean, I'm. He picked me for a second.

[B]

Yeah. That's great.

[A]

Yes. Well, I don't know. Speak for myself. I'm at the age that, like, anyone that will own up to having dated me, I'm kind of like, very proud. I can give you an example of one that I thought for sure she wanted no one to know. But I want to be clear. We weren't like dating dating. We just went on a couple dates. But Jessica Alba, a long time ago, 20 some years ago. And we ended up doing a movie together, I don't know, eight years ago. And we're in the makeup trailer and I'm thinking, oh, yeah, I know. She doesn't want anyone in here to know this.

[C]

What?

[A]

Cause that's where my self esteem is. Right? And then she yelled across from the other end. She was in hair and I was in makeup. And she goes, remember when we used to make out?

[B]

Good for her.

[A]

Yes. And I was like, so flattered. She wasn't Embarrassed.

[C]

I love that this makes me like her.

[B]

Yeah.

[C]

Our kids go to school together. Yeah. Now when I see her, I'm gonna

[B]

be like, you're a good one.

[C]

What's that?

[A]

Nicotine?

[C]

Uh huh.

[A]

Have you ever been a nicotine consumer?

[C]

Yes.

[A]

Okay. Cigarette variety.

[C]

Cigarette variety. 10 years, pack a day, same.

[A]

What brand?

[C]

With parliaments and marlwa lights.

[A]

Yeah. That's a great brand for you.

[C]

The little.

[B]

Those are the cool girl ones, right?

[A]

Those are the cool girls, yeah.

[C]

What are the not cool girl ones?

[B]

Oh my God.

[A]

Marble lights. That's too basic.

[C]

It's too basic.

[A]

You know that.

[B]

Okay. No, no. Except sometimes people like turn it on their head. And the really, really, really cool girls then do a basic cigarette. But like the Olsens in some of the pictures have no parliament. But in some of the pictures, look, I did a deep dive cause I was them for Halloween. They have Marlboro, like. And I had to know cause I had to go buy cigarettes for the first time in my entire life.

[C]

Good woman. All I remember is being in my friend's house. It started in a jokey kind of way at college. We were studying. It was a study group. And she smoked.

[A]

Yeah.

[C]

And I just kind of said as a joke, like a bit, but not funny.

[A]

Yeah, yeah.

[C]

You know, can I try? And I started fake smoking. And it just slowly. If you keep trying, eventually you'll do more than. How old are your daughters? I'm just curious.

[A]

11 and about to be 13.

[C]

Okay, so you're right there.

[A]

Yeah. Four weeks away from 13 and 11. We're 11 and 12 though at the moment. I was going to earmark this, but I think you and I both got exactly what we deserved. It sounds like from how you've been describing some of the moments with your daughters.

[C]

Tell me what you mean in your case and what you mean in my case. Yeah, I'm curious too.

[A]

Yeah. So at one point you're.

[C]

And then we'll get back to Ben Stiller.

[A]

Yeah, we'll circle back.

[B]

Always circle back to Ben Stiller.

[A]

I'll land the plane.

[C]

Who else you know on the list

[A]

there was another co star. Very short lived. It was a five month deal. And that was around 99 from I Can't remember what movie. Yeah.

[C]

I'm literally like, I can't wait.

[A]

You don't remember. I have forgotten the person's name. It wasn't as identifiable as Ben Stiller. So I have forgotten. You're racking your brain.

[C]

Five months.

[A]

That's what it seemed like.

[C]

It was a serial monogamous so any of these little ones. Really little?

[A]

Wait, say that again.

[C]

I was a serial monogamist.

[B]

So these are one offs, five months.

[C]

Sounds weird.

[A]

You've not done a lot of. Me neither.

[C]

It doesn't seem right.

[A]

I do 45 days.

[C]

Jessica Alba.

[A]

Multiple years or. Yeah, yeah, a few weeks.

[C]

Remember making out with me?

[B]

That's not true. You've had some. Three months. Oh, really?

[A]

Yeah, that's what I'm saying. It's like capped at like 90 days. I either am 90 days or I'm many, many years is my point.

[B]

That makes sense.

[A]

I don't have a bunch of one year relationships.

[C]

It'd be even worse than that. It's either like two minutes or fucking eternity. Really?

[B]

Really?

[C]

You're in couples therapy and you're 26. I mean, come on.

[A]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[C]

Have some fun. Lighten up.

[A]

But your daughter came in. Your husband's in his crazy rack. He gets in cause he has a bad back. You're nude doing something. She comes in to borrow a sweater and she says, what to you guys?

[C]

Do you guys ever miss being young and attractive?

[A]

Wow.

[C]

Wow.

[B]

How old is she?

[A]

She was 18.

[B]

Oh, she's a full adult.

[C]

She was 16. 17.

[B]

Ouch.

[A]

But you were quick to say you had some moments when you were a teen girl where your mother said, you're not gonna go out of the house in that. In some boxers with a belt and a tank top.

[C]

This is really crazy. Yes. I think my dad's boxers are like fake boxers with this really tragic big belt with a huge. Almost like. It's like a Soviet army belt and a German. It was very weird, the signage. I feel like you'd probably be canceled. Okay.

[A]

A little problematic iconography kind of harkened back to a bygone era in Germany.

[C]

German tank tops, that. I had no idea as a Jew I shouldn't have been wearing those. Yes. And she would be like, you're not wearing a bra. You can't go out like that. And we got into it and you

[A]

said, I'd like to see you stop me, basically, or some version of that.

[C]

Yes, I believe I left that way.

[A]

So you got yourself. Right. I guess that's the point I'm making.

[C]

Oh, I see. Yeah. I would say what's even worse than that, though, is the obstinance, the pushback. She's very stubborn and also. Well, I think I had ADD just undiagnosed.

[A]

I watched you in Paulson Chat, in an interview.

[B]

Best friends.

[C]

Could we get anything out?

[A]

There's another earmark for later. Yes, I was watching you two talk. And it's almost identical to my best friend Aaron and I talking. No one's finishing any of the sentences. Everyone's talking at once. But you guys are understanding everything that's being said. No one else can. And I was like, well, Paulson definitely is adhd, and I think you're very there with her. Oh, yeah.

[C]

Can you definitely not cut this part out? Because she is constantly fucking talking about my add, and sometimes I just want to be like, you know, my psychiatrist is still not sure about this because just anxiety and add. Not to, like, be all shrinky dink here, but to give you an example, let's say my sister and I were in a car ride or a plane ride. My parents would have taken us to a bookstore or a library or whatever to get books out. And she would be just peacefully reading, completely immersed. And I would just be looking at her like, how come I'm not like that? And then I'd be like, what was that?

[A]

Hyper aware.

[C]

Hyper aware. And so then that takes you out. Is it anxiety or is it. Which came first?

[A]

We just had an ADHD expert on. Yes, ADHD is dysregulation. So anxiety is dysregulation. Like, they're all overlapping in comorbidities, and it's all a spectrum.

[B]

Well, now, because everyone's talking about adhd, it's very top of mind. Do you feel I don't have it. And I don't think anyone has it.

[A]

Yeah. She was very annoyed that I was starting to self identify.

[B]

I'm like, guys, enough. Enough of this adh. But no, it's real. I'm gonna get in trouble. It's real.

[C]

Wait, why are you gonna get in trouble?

[B]

People get mad. You know, they're like, it's real. I had it. I was diagnosed. It is. Of course it's real. But I do think there's a lot of people saying, like, I have it. And then, I mean, I kind of get it. Cause when we had our expert on, she was explaining it, and I was like, I have it.

[C]

Turns out I have it.

[B]

I have.

[C]

So is it a little bit, like, how I feel? Ugh, Amanda Anka's gonna kill me. But, like, how I feel about people who talk about astrology, which is. And they're like, you're such a Capricorn. And I'm like, it doesn't matter what.

[B]

And you guys have.

[A]

But she loves astrology.

[C]

Okay, you like it, but you really, truly think, no, hold on.

[A]

If I could be the objective outsider on the spectrum. 10 is you're making all of your life's decisions based on the astrology chart. 0 is you and I, it's. What are we talking about? Monica's a 6.5. 7.

[B]

I'm a 6.5.

[A]

Like, it was a new moon and she did all the things one's supposed to do for a new moon.

[C]

See, you're a believer.

[B]

You think, yeah, okay.

[C]

It's like being a little bit pregnant. Yeah.

[A]

If you're doing all the things that are recommended cause of the new moon, your actions are being influenced by this thing.

[B]

But I'm not like, oh, that person's a Pisces. We are not gonna get along.

[A]

Stay away.

[B]

I don't do that. I don't make any judgments about people who I wanna be around.

[C]

Give me one example of what you did. Because the moon was in. Who's he? Who?

[B]

It's too late for you guys. Sorry. But on the lunar New Year, you blow salt into the room. I forget what you say. There was a script, but basically, like you're cleansing out the. And then you blow cinnamon in. You're bringing in abundance. What else did I do?

[A]

Oh, you're not allowed to wear all the.

[B]

You're supposed to wear red.

[A]

You can't wash your hair.

[B]

Yeah, you can't wash your hair.

[A]

You can't cut.

[B]

You can't cut anything, especially your hair on that. On that day.

[C]

Was this the first year. Sorry, that I don't understand this stuff. Was this the first year you observed?

[B]

Yeah, I'm kind of new.

[C]

It's like a religion convert.

[B]

Yeah, I'm a new convert.

[A]

She's been an enthusiast for 8 years. She likes to read the horoscopes and stuff.

[B]

Yeah, I think it's hard.

[C]

Where do you read exactly?

[B]

That's why I'm not extreme. I read Co Star, it's like an app. I get served this stuff on Instagram and it's like, oh, look. But then sometimes it's eerie. Wait, are you a Capricorn? For real?

[A]

Yeah. January 11th.

[B]

Yeah, you would be skeptical.

[A]

You're 11, right? January 11th. Second. Yeah, we know. What's up?

[B]

What's Amanda? Is she a Virgo? You once said, you know what?

[C]

I'm going to kill me. She's December.

[A]

It is offensive to people when you forget their sign. If they believe in it, it feels like, what is it? What?

[C]

December 17th.

[A]

December 17th.

[B]

That's her birthday. So I don't even know what that is. That sounds weird.

[C]

What is she.

[B]

Let me see. I don't know.

[A]

She's a voiceover artist. She's the daughter of Paul Anka. She's incredibly friendly and smart and inclusive. Sagittarius.

[B]

I thought that was nice of you. Good job, Good friend.

[C]

Now I'm gonna ask her if she did the cinnamon and the salt.

[A]

There's no way she didn't.

[B]

I hope she did.

[C]

What do you think is going to befall us?

[B]

Cause you didn't do it.

[C]

Yes.

[B]

I actually don't think anything bad's gonna happen. I just think good things are gonna happen to me because I did it. I think you guys are fine.

[A]

She likes to knock on wood, too.

[B]

I am pretty superstitious.

[C]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[B]

I also come from a kind of superstitious family. It does pair nicely with some of this astrology stuff. We're making it sound like I'm crazy. Virgo.

[A]

Double Virgo.

[B]

Thank you.

[A]

That piece is really important and I'm just trying to tread lightly. The double Virgo is a very beautiful.

[C]

You're a fucking, aren't you?

[B]

Exactly. I'm horrible to be around.

[C]

Don't you just feel like it's confirmation bias, though?

[B]

Like, you just feel like it is, but it's fun?

[C]

Don't you think it's fun?

[A]

Okay. You know, when I listen back to our first interview, a, it was over zoom. No, thank you.

[B]

Yeah. That was sad that we had.

[A]

It was over zoom. It was early 2021, and so it was very, very Covid y. It was a unique interview in that we didn't really go through your background, which we always do and I always enjoy so much.

[B]

I know it's our fun time, and

[A]

so I'm actually excited to have you back. You have the queerest look on your

[C]

face that we didn't talk about your life.

[A]

I can't tell what the energy.

[B]

Really?

[A]

Yes. I'm trying to figure out, like, what?

[C]

Well, I'm a tiny bit nervous.

[B]

Really?

[A]

Tell me more.

[C]

Well, you know, because I'm nervous. I'm nervous. I don't want to be boring.

[A]

Be impossible for you to be boring. You're innately quirky and interesting.

[C]

Okay.

[A]

Yeah.

[C]

All right.

[A]

Your baseline is fucking very interesting. So even if you phoned it in, it'd probably be marginally better than most. Okay.

[B]

Yeah, that's true.

[C]

What you guys started is very special. And to be so curious minded and make a career out of being curious and having the humility to ask people like Yuval Noah Hariri and have spectacular people like that here next to schmoes like me. We are so in need of that kind of humility and curiosity. That combination is very special. And humor. And so your ability to present people like Yuval Noah Hariri to laypeople who may not otherwise read those books or understand those concepts is very profound.

[A]

Well, thank you.

[C]

Very culturally.

[A]

Thank you.

[C]

That's just my opinion.

[B]

That's very nice.

[C]

We'll take it back to Ben Stiller.

[A]

Back to Ben Stiller. You're from a very historic New York family. We didn't get to talk about that the first time. You have a pair of Sam's great, great grandfathers that were both very prominent New Yorkers. One was the president of manhattanborough.

[C]

Manhattan Borough President Sam Levy. Yes.

[A]

Sam. Roxy.

[C]

Roxy Rothfell invented Radio City Music hall,

[A]

designed Radio City Music hall and built these movie palaces.

[C]

Yes.

[A]

The Roxy Theater. This blows my mind. 6,000 seat movie theater in Times Square.

[B]

Wow.

[A]

And he, like, funded Broadway plays.

[C]

He was like an impresario, I guess.

[A]

And that's what we would call a play producer.

[C]

Yeah, he was an entertainer on the

[A]

business side and from Prussia. Yay.

[B]

Is that right?

[A]

Left Prussia.

[C]

God. He knows more about my family history.

[A]

But it's so rare you read about someone who actually like. I read a few Dostoevsky books and they're set in Prussia. And I'm like, what the fuck is Prussia? But your great, great grandfather actually lived in Prussia and came here and did all this in New York.

[C]

Yeah. I really want to do. Henry.

[B]

Yes. I was going to ask if you had done it.

[C]

I don't know if it's that thing where you're not supposed to ask, you're supposed to wait to be asked. Cause I think there might have been some strife between my mother's father and his father who was on the board of yeshiva. And I can't remember if he was on his side. Manhattan Borough president, I think it was. And it's a little hard to get information.

[A]

Growing up, were your parents. Your dad's Quaker, Your mom's Jewish?

[C]

My dad's not Quaker.

[A]

He's not?

[C]

No.

[A]

That's all erroneous.

[C]

I went to Quaker school.

[A]

Friendly seminary.

[C]

Like Manhattan Friends. Like the Society of Friends is Quakers. Quakers, yeah.

[A]

Okay. But back to these great, great grandparents when you were brought up, did they tell you about them? Did they go like, hey, you should kind of have some pride in the city?

[C]

Not really. A little bit, Roxy. Because we would drive by. You know, I grew up in New York City, so we would either when we went to theater, sometimes we would drive by Radio City Music Hall. But I didn't really understand if he was an architect. And then eventually, at some point, I saw the Rockettes and was told that he invented the Rockettes and probably slept with half of them.

[A]

That was standard biz.

[C]

Yeah, standard biz.

[A]

That's why men built places.

[C]

Yeah, it was.

[A]

Yeah.

[C]

And apparently he died broke. I don't know what the whole story is.

[B]

Oh, we gotta get you on finding your roots.

[A]

Isn't it crazy? All these stories of these people, they accomplish so much, but the risk taker part of them, that would make them accumulate that, they also are so destined to. To lose it all too. I find that fascinating.

[C]

Well, it depends how much you think shit runs on luck, right?

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Oh. Uh huh.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Like his luck ran out. So did your parents grow up in wealth?

[C]

My mother did. And I guess it sort of depends what you define as wealth, but I would say yes. My mother grew up on a farm in Bedford. And my dad, his family was more normal, but his mother was a renowned person in Advertising. In 1957, she was ad Woman of the year. The reason I looked all of this up was cause of Mad Men, because that was her milieu and she was actually full time working mom who was way ahead of her time and a crazy trailblazer and ended up being the second in command at McCann Erickson. Whoa. In the late 90s.

[A]

Whoa. It feels impossible in the 50s for her to have accomplished that. Your mom's still with us.

[C]

No, she's not. Just three weeks ago.

[A]

Oh my God. I'm so sorry.

[C]

Thank you.

[A]

Wow, what terrible timing for that question.

[C]

No, no, no. She was very sick for a long, long time. She had four brothers and sisters. Big, huge family. They were German Jews, so they had a Christmas tree. There's something that went wrong between my grandfather and his father. And I don't know if I want to say it this strongly, but it's the word that's coming to my mind. He didn't renounce his Judaism, but he wasn't observant.

[A]

Right, right.

[C]

Changed our name. They were the levies. And they experienced. I mean, my parents got married at a club and she had to enter through a different door because she was Jewish. I think they go back years as staunch Democrats on my mom's side, liberals. So the social work isn't that weird. But she was a Russian government major at smith in the 50s, like height of the Cold War, went to work at the CIA. Oh, wow. Because she could read Russian. So she was in the department. I'm acting it out.

[A]

Where she's doing nice space work right there.

[B]

Really nice.

[C]

The Cuban Missile Crisis. She was in that office and I don't really know why she segued out of that.

[B]

So she was a badass too. So your dad married his mom.

[A]

Well, that holds. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

[C]

You may not be that wrong about that. This is something I talk about and think about a lot.

[A]

You have a boy or boys? You have three kids?

[C]

Yeah, I have two girls and then a baby boy who's 11. He's not a baby, but my sister and her husband met essential in cadaver class in medical school. And he. Aside from David, I would say their marriage is the most. 50, 50 childcare. Their marriage is 50, 50 childcare.

[B]

Yeah.

[C]

Like, I had a friend over. They used to come every holiday, like the Christmas holidays. And Jeff, who's a professor of epidemiology and works at CHOP in pediatric infectious diseases, just like walked through our kitchen living area with a load of la. My girlfriend was like, for the listeners,

[A]

there's an aghast look on your face.

[C]

Like, just, what's happening?

[A]

What am I observing?

[C]

How did she find a husband like that? And I was kind of like, what else is there?

[B]

Exactly. Oh, that's so interesting.

[A]

Was David's mom a gangster?

[C]

I think she's a gangster in a certain way. And, you know, she went to Cornell and that's how they met.

[A]

So he was looking for a smart gal as well.

[C]

Yes, but his career took precedence over hers. I think she would be okay with me saying that.

[A]

Yeah, yeah. Was he the Fed chair at one point? He was the CEO of Goldman Sachs.

[C]

Yes.

[A]

And I think he worked at the Fed as well.

[C]

And then you worked under Bush.

[A]

He had quite a career in finance.

[C]

Yes.

[A]

Yes. Okay. You moved to London 7 for four years.

[C]

Yep.

[A]

Why did you guys go to London? Whose career took you there? Your dad?

[C]

Yes. He was a corporate lawyer and they just said, we're opening the office here. Who would like to go? So we went there. And that was a very special part of my upbringing. And to my parents credit, they sent us to an English school. They wouldn't let us go to the American school. They wanted us to have a real experience.

[A]

Did you guys develop English accents?

[C]

Oh, yes.

[A]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[C]

Yes. Especially me, as you can probably imagine.

[A]

Of course. I bet you couldn't wait.

[C]

Oh, my God.

[B]

You didn't develop it.

[C]

You just put it on. It was so tragic when I would get caught going back into my American accent. When I moved home, you know, my first day back at friends seminary, I

[B]

was like, hey, how are you?

[C]

Oh, my God. Thank you for this warm welcome. Oh, my Lord. This is so lovely.

[A]

And were you exotic to those British kids? This would have been my dream at that age. Just, like, to go somewhere. Everyone thought I was super interesting and I could do a character.

[C]

Well, it wasn't interesting in a good way, really.

[A]

Oh, it wasn't? No.

[C]

I think there was some of the. Maybe it was just me, but, like, Americans are dumb and they talk like this, and it's so weird.

[B]

Yeah, it wasn't a cool thing.

[C]

And it was very strict. And I had come from this hippie Quaker school in New York City. And then you have to say prayer before you eat. It was very strict. Not Dickensian, but it was still the old days there.

[B]

Yeah.

[C]

Yeah. There were maggots in the salad.

[A]

Oh, protein.

[B]

What? No, not protein.

[A]

No, Free protein.

[B]

Yeah. Wait.

[C]

Kind of gnarly.

[A]

Okay.

[C]

Wow.

[A]

And were there teachers hitting the desks with sticks and stuff? Did we go that far? It sounds like it was steeped in tradition. That's my euphemism.

[C]

Yeah. You know, uniforms and ridiculous strictness.

[B]

So you hated it?

[C]

I kind of hated it. But I'm very grateful.

[B]

Yeah, now you're grateful.

[C]

And my cousins were there. We were very close with my mom's brother's kids. And they were already living there. Cause the dad was doing work there. So there was this little community of American expats. And it was a very special time outside of school.

[A]

You were in London, I presume?

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

And did you love it? Could you run freely? And was it a safe, fun place to grow up?

[C]

I was just an anxious little child who was, like, living in a different city. I don't even know if I had a perspective on it as a place beyond my own. My kids. I feel like I didn't realize this with Frankie, my first child, but now that I've had three children, I realize that around seven, eight, I start getting what happens when you die? Oh, that's when the existential. That's when you can tell whether you have a kid, where you're gonna be like, oh, God, another one on SSRIs. Okay.

[B]

Oh, that's interesting.

[C]

I remember walking by Molly's bedroom. I think I might have been pregnant with Henry. Or maybe it was a little later. And she just went, mom. And I was like, in a harried. And she just said, isn't it just so weird that we're here? And I was like, yes, sure, it's fine.

[B]

Circle it back on that later. But it's smart.

[C]

But so when I moved, it correlated with that time of like an upswing in anxiety. And so I do remember that I was a very anxious kid, very heavy.

[A]

I think we could say at that age you have metacognition, you can think of your own thoughts. Your identity is forming. You're starting, starting to really explore your thinking in some weird way.

[B]

And fear. You start being aware of the dangers.

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

Maybe because there is some independence around that time. So you're like figuring out.

[C]

Yeah. And also just brain development. You're able to take in more. I remember we shot Game of Thrones in Belfast, which in the very beginning, when we first got to Belfast, really reminded me of London circa 1979.

[B]

Like the food, maggots. Yeah.

[C]

We sent the kids to school there and to daycare there. But yeah, I remember a few years later, Frankie saying, mommy, I just missed Belfast. It's the only place I feel safe. And I remember being like, wow, if my parents could hear this. Cause you know, when we were in London was at the height of the troubles.

[A]

Troubles being like IRI bombing things and stuff.

[C]

Yeah, the troubles in Northern Ireland. And I remember there being a backpack left on the sidewalk on the corner. I just remember my mom being like, girls, run.

[B]

Oh God.

[C]

And we were like, what? What?

[B]

Well, no wonder you were anxious.

[A]

Yeah, yeah. Some of it sounds maybe appropriate.

[C]

We did have the King's or the Queen's troops or horse. They used to come by where we would.

[A]

The procession.

[C]

Yeah, there was some kind of procession where they were practicing and they would come once a week on Saturday or Sunday mornings. And I know my mom every time was just like, you know, because of the ira, like she was here, I

[A]

thought there would be an attack.

[B]

So this is some inherited anxiety.

[A]

How was this experience on the marriage, My parents.

[C]

Marriage?

[A]

Uh huh. She went to England for his career. And whether she liked it or not there, I don't know. But if she didn't like it there, I just wonder, you know.

[C]

He was a corporate lawyer. She was really interested in being a social worker. She became really interested in psychoanalysis, the 70s 80s New York version, and was really interested in what is really going on beneath the surface. And my dad was not at all that way. Very smart, but just much more of a literal thinker, which is sort of what I was talking about with my kids. Who knows, you might have a kid like that. Between me and David, I guess I thought it was possible, but it didn't happen. But like someone who's just more marching through everything yeah. And able to take things in stride and be maybe a little more literal. Just not as prone to hold the situation so complexly all the time. And so my parents, I think, were not well suited in that way and it ended up exploding.

[A]

At what age were you?

[C]

17. Senior year of high school.

[A]

Okay, so they made it for a while back in New York.

[C]

Yes.

[A]

Stay tuned for more Armchair expert if you dare. Thank you to our presenting sponsor, Apple TV, the new U.S. home of Formula One. You can now watch complete all access live coverage of every Grand Prix, including practice, qualifying and sprints, all in one place. I will be consuming all of those things, Monica.

[B]

I know you will.

[A]

I kill for Friday to start watching practice one following and then on a sprint weekend. Oh my gosh, two races. And this season brings a ton of new energy to the sport. New teams like Cadillac and Audi just joining the grid. New drivers stepping into major seats. Lando Norris defending his first World Drivers Championship. And all eyes on Lewis Hamilton in his second season with Ferrari. And a brand new circuit in Madrid, plus a new US home for Formula One. You can watch every race live only on Apple TV. Watch on Apple devices, Android devices, smart TV streaming devices, gaming consoles or on the web at tv.apple.com all part of one Apple TV subscription alongside hundreds of exclusive shows and movies. Watch the Formula One Chinese Grand Prix live on Sunday, March, March 15th at 3am Eastern. Or watch race replays on demand anytime only on Apple TV, the new US home of F1. We are supported by Allstate. Checking Allstate first could save you hundreds on car insurance. That's smart. Not checking which platform you watch that new show on. So frustrating. 15 minutes later you've logged into seven apps, reset two passwords and still haven't found it. Yeah, checking first is smart. So check Allstate first for a quote that could save you hundreds. You're in good hands with Allstate. Potential savings vary subject to terms, conditions and availability. Allstate North American insurance company and affiliates, Northbrook, Illinois. We are supported by Intuit TurboTax. April 15th is coming up fast. And if you're like most people, you're probably dreading the whole tax thing. You know, the old way, sitting in some waiting room for hours or sending over your tax docs and waiting and waiting for any kind of update. You want something modern and tech forward, but you also want that human connection. And this year brings a major upgrade. Intuit TurboTax now has in person locations nationwide. You can walk into a tech enabled TurboTax location near you and meet face to face with a real tax expert. Drop off your documents in the store and see them uploaded to your TurboTax app instantly. Just like that. That you're done. Your new TurboTax expert stays back and works tirelessly to get you every dollar you deserve while you get real time notifications as you go about your day. Honestly, it feels like someone finally figured out what we've all been wanting. It's not some sterile tax office from 1987 and it's not just an app where you're on your own. It's both. The human expertise was smart, modern tech. You drop off your stuff, go about your day and get real time updates as your expert works through everything. That's the Upgrade. Head to TurboTax dot to find a store location near you and get matched with a turbo tax expert with real time updates and iOS app. Were you so delighted to come back to New York?

[C]

Yes. That's just any 12 year old who's like, ooh, new school and new school shopping and I can do my accent and blah blah.

[B]

You can start over.

[C]

Kind of.

[B]

Yes.

[C]

Reinvent myself as a little English girl coming back into New York.

[A]

But this school, Friends Seminary is the oldest co education school still in Manhattan.

[C]

Is that true?

[A]

It is.

[C]

Wow.

[A]

I read a lot about this school today.

[C]

It's a very special place.

[A]

Yes. It's very tiny, right?

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

And I'm thinking about the juxtaposition of living in New York City, which couldn't get bigger and yet going to a school that was way smaller than mine, living in rural Michigan. So there's this interesting juxtaposition between going to school and then maybe what New York was at large. Did it feel like a little sanctuary? Because how many classmates did you have?

[C]

I feel like it was like 40 or 50.

[A]

Okay. That's tiny.

[C]

Yeah. And no school was I have too many pimples and a mustache and who am I gonna kiss and why am I dumb?

[A]

You're super smart. But were you not doing well in school?

[C]

I was pretty competitive, so I think that probably kept me from thinking all the way. Like I definitely was distracted a lot. I was depressed a lot and distracted a lot. Both and had some fun. I began psychoanalysis.

[A]

At what age?

[C]

At age 13. My mom, whenever anyone had any problems was like, get the two a shrink.

[B]

Right.

[C]

That was what happened. It was a matter of course. And my sister was like, fuck you. And I was like, okay.

[A]

Yeah.

[C]

And then I went to see three people to check out who I wanted to be with and I picked this man, and within maybe two or three sessions, he said from his chair, you know, I think you're a very good candidate for psychoanalysis. And I was like, whoa, what's that? But I guess I won something. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[A]

I'm a good candidate. You just heard good candidate.

[C]

Exactly. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

[A]

It could have been anything.

[B]

Totally, totally.

[C]

That's so fascinating. So he sort of explained it to me, and then my mom and I became extremely close through this because she was in psychoanalytic training to be a psychoanalyst and was an analyst on patient at the same time that I was. We were a fucking nightmare. And my poor sister was just like, oh, my God.

[A]

Well, now, 40 years later, would you say all this was additive or was it not great?

[B]

Yeah. What's your take on this? Now?

[A]

You think 13 is a good age to enter deep psychoanalysis?

[C]

Absolutely not. But, you know, we didn't have the discussions that we're having today, so it's lousy that everyone has ADD and that we're over medicalizing and over maybe. I don't want to say that.

[A]

No. We've had some pretty good experts on to say that there is major issues with it, the pathologizing of everything.

[C]

That's what I wanted to say.

[A]

Yeah.

[C]

And said wrongly and really quick.

[A]

Her data was. Do you guys know 30% of all seizures are not epilepsy? 30% of all heart conditions that bring you to the emergency room are not heart disease. So we have a great capacity to affect ourselves with our thoughts without judgment of anyone. But 30% of all people dealing with seizures, for lack of a better term, they're in their mind. Right. So, yeah, it is something to definitely be observed. You don't want to discount the 70% that have a legitimate thing. But also, there's a very significant amount of us who have pathologized a lot of stuff that we got to be careful of.

[C]

I think it's both. I think it was really patriarchal that he suggested my junior year. I don't think our analysis is finished. And I think you ought to consider going to college in the New York area so that we can continue our work. Do I sound like Woody Allen or.

[A]

Yeah, but I love it.

[C]

He did have a really strong New York accent.

[B]

Whoa. That's weird.

[C]

So that's what I did.

[B]

Really?

[A]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[C]

And then when I tried to leave, because he was like a traditional Freudian analyst. So I'd say, I saw this movie, you know, a Room with a View, and I thought it was so beautiful and it made me have a sexual fantasy. Blah, blah. I don't know, I'm making that up. I'd be like, did you see it? You know the part where. And he'd be like, what's your thought about whether I saw it or not?

[A]

It's kind of a mental maze. Or can be at times.

[C]

Is the analyst really neutral and really a blank slate? Can anyone be a blank slate? You have a Diet Coke here. So now I know you drink Diet Coke and you're on a diet so you're not blank. And also you can have a transference even when you know something about the person.

[A]

And then there's maybe a more global thought of like, do I want a 40 year old man talking to my young daughter?

[B]

I know, I feel like that's just not for me.

[C]

I felt really taken seriously. So talking about our similarity, about having like a little bit of an intellectual chip on my shoulder or chip on my shoulder about my intellectual capacity status, especially once I became an actress or became very interested in acting, that was quite shameful. Like I'm vapid from your parents or

[B]

where's that coming from?

[C]

Okay. But then from the fact that first it was from your parents, like you're doing something that is silly, it's frivolous and also just stupid statistically.

[B]

Right, right.

[A]

There's an implied vanity to it as well.

[C]

Too much based on. Look, this is not a meritocracy. What? How do we weigh this? Anyone who is doing anything because they look a certain way, they haven't earned that.

[B]

Uh huh.

[C]

You were born that way.

[B]

Yeah. There's some shame around that.

[A]

Yeah. I got into a dust up one time with Adam Grant, which he and I lived to get in dust ups. This is all great. We like to dance, as he called it. You know Adam Grant? You know that name? He's an organizational psychologist at Wharton. But he writes a lot of op ed pieces and he wrote languishing that was really popular in the New York Times. He's like a known intellectual, but he was a little bit shitting on people who post their beauty or get likes and attention for their looks and their beauty. And I was like, so Adam, you are gifted. This great intelligence and what you do with that is you put your work out there for approval and attention. But if you weren't gifted intelligence and you were gifted looks, that person's not allowed to exploit the gift they got. I don't know why one is better than the other. We're all trying to get approval in love and attention with whatever thing we got gifted.

[C]

What do you think of that today?

[B]

I think that's right. I don't think I used to think that, but I do think that all of our assets are given for the most part, we can work on them. And I think I work hard for the things that I have. But I also know there's gifts there that I didn't pick.

[A]

You have two hardworking parents. You genetically got genes from very driven, hardworking, intellectual people.

[B]

I can write stuff, I can comprehend something. I lean into those. So I really shouldn't blame someone for leaning in to whatever they have. I think that's how I feel these days.

[C]

How do you feel about this vis a vis your daughters, though?

[A]

I think they have the option to probably get attention in either way. And I would of course prefer they get attention for their brains.

[C]

Why?

[A]

Because I know that in order to get that attention they're going to have to apply themself to something rigorously for a while. And I think there's great esteem to be gotten from that.

[C]

For happiness, yeah.

[B]

For internal values, yes.

[A]

But for the person who that's not an option. I think there is a problem with kind of elitism and intellectualism that we're sitting over here going like this is an okay way to get attention and be loved by the world, but the way you are able to do it, that's vapid and vain and self obsessed. I don't buy that. I think we're all doing the same thing. And I don't think if you're writing things to get noticed and applauded as I'm doing, and we're all doing that I'm ever in a position to tell someone in a bikini they're not allowed to to get attention. I don't think I'm morally in a place to be judgmental of anyone seeking attention and approval.

[C]

Do you feel that same way?

[B]

Well, it depends on if it works. I guess if someone who posts a picture in their bikini, if posting that really does give them some sort of internal validation, it wouldn't for me. So I can't say that. But if it did, that has to be fine.

[A]

And if they make a living from that, they're supporting themselves and they buy a home and raise a family, we're all trying to do the best we can with what we got. And I think really easy for us who went and got degrees and shit to think, well, I worked for it. But you had the capacity to work for it. You were gifted the capacity to work for it. Someone modeled that for you.

[B]

I do think though, the problem is most of the physical, like posting pictures and stuff. That is external validation for the most part. I don't know, maybe someone can comment and say they get a ton of true self esteem from doing that, but I don't think I've seen that be the case for anyone.

[A]

I think that the person who went to the gym that morning, they ate the thing they wanted to eat, so they looked a certain way and then they spray tanned and then they look in the mirror. I think they have the same feeling as I do when I do two and a half hours of research on you. And then I come in here and I'm able to weave that all together and I leave. I think the feeling we both have is we put a lot of effort into this and we achieved our goal in this. And I think it's not right for me to discount the things they do.

[B]

Somebody else telling them it looks good, good.

[A]

But I'm owning the fact that no, I want the product of this to be great and I want people to listen to it and love it. I want to be seen and I want to be appreciated for the thing I've invested in. They're doing the same thing. It's not what I would do, but I don't feel right about saying it's a lesser or that I'm above it or that I'm judgmental of it.

[C]

I understand what you're saying, but I also understand what you're saying and have sort of had that very argument with my daughter who thinks I'm unfeminist because I'm like, must you post that? This makes me feel good for how long?

[B]

Does it matter?

[C]

It doesn't matter. And I'm saying, can you do it without posting it? Can you get the feeling the thing about how the male gaze, it's his problem if he sees this bikini picture of me and can't take me seriously because I'm in a bikini, can't take me seriously for my whole self because I'm in a bikini. That's his problem. I'm gonna get into trouble. I don't think I should get into this area.

[B]

I think this is so interesting.

[A]

Yeah, this is incredibly fascinating because I think all three of us have different feelings about it.

[B]

Also, everyone's dealing with this.

[C]

I was sort of like, by posting, you are automatically in a conversation, you're automatically inviting someone to look. So you're inviting a gaze just by the fact that you posted. But then you wanna pretend that it exists outside of any cultural context whatsoever. Yeah.

[B]

It's not in a vacuum.

[C]

That it exists in a vacuum and that you are operating purely in a vacuum and the cultural context is over there. But that's not what you meant.

[A]

Yeah, but I will challenge you. And I have it myself. We also didn't grow up where this was standard, that the Internet was standard, that Instagram was standard. And so you and I, I used a whole can of Aqua Net every time I leave the house so that I could be the most appealing I could be to any girl.

[C]

Is that true?

[A]

Well, yeah. Yeah. Super firm hold. But I put a ton of effort into leaving my house to go look and get validated by the opposite sex. And I think you did, too. And I think we all did, 100%. I think this division between you leaving the house and wanting to be appreciated by the opposite sex when you went anywhere, I just think Instagram is anywhere. That's their anywhere. So I think we did the same thing. I don't think there's a difference, but it feels incredibly different for us. But I think it's just life. And we were always trying to be as attractive as we could to everyone else, so I don't know why they would not as well.

[C]

It's back to degrees. It exists on a continuum, just like we just said about ADD and everything else. Like, I think a lot about. I can't remember where she said it, but Zadie Smith was saying how her daughter, this was a few years ago, spent such and such exponentially more time in the mirror before school than her son. And she was like, if you add that time up over the course of many years, he's gonna have an advantage. And do you want that?

[B]

That's interesting.

[A]

But he's also gonna spend a lot of time jumping over fires to impress his friend and dealing with injuries, and he's gonna do other shit that's a waste of time. In the way that males try to get validation from each other.

[B]

It's called.

[A]

I think we just kind of.

[B]

I think we have to fight the

[A]

urge to catastrophize all the stuff that's kind of happening now. The area that I think I'm more in keeping with you is, like, the conversation I know I'm gonna have with them as they go to college about drinking, which is 100%. It's on the male to not rape the girl. Shouldn't be on the girl to worry about getting raped. But I am gonna say, here's the data from girls who get raped when they're blacked out drunk now. Yes. It shouldn't ever be a concern of yours. And we live in a certain reality where your odds of that happening are gonna go up 4x. Obviously, you should be entitled to get blackout drunk, just as boys are entitled to get blackout drunk. But also, here's the facts, so do with them what you will. Yeah, I feel like that's an area where I agree with you. It's like, well, we can't also deny what the statistics of our world tell us.

[B]

I agree. I think that's a hard thing to talk about because, yeah, it sounds like we're saying, oh, the like, what were you wearing thing. And it's really not that. It's not what should be. Like, yes, we should be fixing boys.

[A]

You should be able to pass out in the street in a miniskirt and have nothing happen to you. I agree. That's what should happen.

[B]

And take you to the hospital.

[C]

So that is Frankie's argument.

[A]

Well, it is.

[C]

That's her Instagram argument.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

But should and reality are not always, in fact, almost never the same. And it's figuring out where you want to be in that if you want the risk. I mean, I'm actually a little more like. When she says she feels good, what part feels good? Is it the comments?

[C]

My relationship with her at that time, now it's different. But at that time was basically, I'd be like, how did that make you feel? Okay, good talk. Yeah, Basically like fucking slam.

[B]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

[C]

I mean, it was a 30.

[B]

Yeah. Because that's the thing that I think fame teaches you. Right? Which, I mean, she should listen to you for this. It feels good for a minute, and then it really doesn't feel good because you also are hearing all the horrible stuff. And then you're so self conscious. The Internet is Hollywood, you know, it's dangerous. It really affects how you feel about yourself.

[A]

It's deeply impermanent. You know? You know when you're getting these little spikes of being popular that it's on very shaky footing.

[C]

And yet.

[A]

And yet here we are.

[B]

Yeah, exactly.

[A]

I know. It's so tasty when it's your turn.

[B]

It is. Okay, Ben Stiller.

[A]

I guess I just want to finish with the school. First of all, you have some fun. Other alumni from this tiny little school. Liev Shriver, Lena Dunham.

[C]

Oh, Lena didn't go to Friends.

[A]

Okay. She's miscredited.

[C]

Maybe she went to Brooklyn Friends.

[A]

Oh, okay.

[B]

We'll look into it for the paycheck.

[C]

I love her and I feel like we would have bonded over that. Yeah.

[A]

Is there a Brooklyn version?

[C]

Yeah, yeah. And they're all over. They're mostly in Philadelphia.

[B]

Well, John Bernthal.

[A]

I know what I wanted to ask. Yeah. John Bernthal went to a really cool biker school outside of D.C. sidwell.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

Was there any of the practices there that you were like, I'm very lucky I got to experience that.

[C]

Yeah. I didn't know that at the time. It was something I look back on with intense gratitude. And David and I got married in the meeting house. We had like a Jewish wedding in the meeting house after his mother in law almost had a heart attack. But luckily David's rabbi was like, calm down, Barbara, It'll be okay. Yeah.

[A]

Again they're doing the parent thing that you were doing.

[C]

Yeah. So I think that the meeting for silence is obviously like a form of meditation.

[A]

Will you explain that to us? I don't think everyone would know.

[C]

The idea is that there is no priesthood. There's no hierarchy in Quakerism whatsoever. So there's no priesthood. Nobody is closer to God than anyone else. And everyone is welcome. You can be from any religion, you can be anyone. And you can walk in. They call it a popcorn meeting. When you're moved to speak, you can stand up and say anything. And that silence, particularly on Fridays, there was a 20 minute silence. And on the off chance that I wasn't doing my AP Euro homework, It's really a way to just stop for a second and have community. I think there's a strict policy about consensus versus voting.

[A]

Ooh, what's the difference?

[C]

So I guess the idea is you gotta figure out how to agree. I like that. Especially right now. Everything needs to be taken in. Everyone needs to learn how to hold the situation complexly and move forward. Holding the situation complexly.

[A]

All welcome would be a good also theme for us.

[C]

Yeah. My God. And then just crazy shit like we used to play soccer. I played soccer. We used to go to this janky field near Con Ed over by the river. We didn't have like a fancy place. And in the common room, which was one of the only communal spaces besides the meeting house every night filled with homeless people. Wow. So whenever I came in for basketball practice during basketball season at 6:30 in the morning when we would come early. Cause probably the boys had to do the afternoon. You're walking through a room filled with homeless men. Would never happen now.

[B]

Yeah.

[C]

Because parents, psycho parents, would be like, my daughter is not gonna walk through.

[B]

It's dangerous. Exactly.

[C]

This is a little Bit what everyone talks about, like Jonathan Haidt.

[A]

Free range parenting.

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

Anxious.

[C]

They can handle it. Even in little basketball shorts.

[A]

We're resilient little creatures.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

Okay. You majored in American History at Columbus.

[C]

Yeah, but it was kind of by default. It was like a concentration.

[A]

Why that major?

[C]

It was literally more counting. What was the easiest way I could just graduate.

[A]

So no lawyer aspirations, because that's a huge undergrad.

[C]

No, I think by junior year. Junior year, I auditioned for this acting teacher called UTA Hagen. And once I got into her class, I think I felt slightly better about the frivolity of it because I was with UTA Hagen.

[B]

Yeah. Very serious.

[C]

So. So it was almost as good as, like, going to conservatory.

[B]

Definitely.

[A]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. You found the Harvard of teachers. Yeah. So if you're making a case to your parents this isn't frivolous and vapid. Look, I'm with this legend.

[C]

Yes, but that was followed by me doing a lot of commercials.

[A]

You did a Skittle spot, which is great.

[B]

That's a great.

[A]

Yeah, those Run for the Candy. I was always told when I was

[B]

auditioning for commercials, Candy, I did a billion commercials.

[C]

Is that true?

[B]

Oh, yeah. I had a whole run of commercials.

[A]

She might be the most successful commercial actor I ever met. She would often have four or five nationals running at the same time.

[C]

Did your parents let you do it when you were little?

[B]

No, not when I was little. This is when I was out here.

[C]

Were they like, you're gonna do what?

[B]

Yeah, they were.

[C]

Did you do it in college?

[B]

I did. I was in theater in high school. And I was like, okay, so here's what I'm gonna do. I'm gonna go to college and I'm gonna major in theater. And they were like, no, you're not doing that. And I was like, I am. And they hadn't said no to any. I mean, they're kind of like, do whatever. I was a cheerleader. I was doing all these things. They were like, whoa, who's she? Or who does she think she is?

[A]

More poster of friends in a room and.

[B]

Yeah, exactly.

[A]

She took to America like a fish to wall.

[B]

She shared the Matt Damon love. But theirs wasn't about it being vapid or frivolous. Theirs was about safety. How are you going to live?

[C]

Well, that too.

[B]

And they were so happy about the commercials.

[A]

Sure.

[B]

Coming.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

See?

[C]

So my parents weren't excited about that.

[A]

It seemed lowbrow.

[C]

It was never said.

[A]

There's a way to say things, though, isn't there, without saying them?

[C]

I don't Entirely fault them.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Interesting.

[C]

Interesting. They never watched Jack and Jill.

[A]

They wouldn't watch.

[C]

It didn't feel to me like it was a stance. It was just. I'm telling you, a genuine lack of fucking interest.

[A]

That's nuts.

[C]

Can you blame him?

[A]

Yes, I can. Do you know how many terrible fucking plays I go to? My daughter is in every play. They're nearly unwatchable.

[C]

But she's not even 13.

[A]

I'm delighted to be there. And if she were on Jack and Jill, I would fucking add it to my dvr.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

And I would. Each episode, I'd have a list of things I thought she had done.

[B]

Well, you'd be so excited to watch her on Jack and Jill.

[A]

Fucking A. I would make a big deal of it. You deserve that.

[B]

And excited to see your Skittles commercial.

[C]

Just see it again and really honestly say that you would feel that way. I'm not saying it's bad. It's just if you don't like a

[A]

romantic comedy and then your daughter's on it, you watch it.

[B]

They don't have to like the show.

[A]

Yeah. No one's asking them to like the show.

[B]

They don't have to. But it would be nice if they were excited to see their daughter on.

[A]

Get to do the thing she set out to do.

[B]

Exactly. That's right.

[A]

Oh, Amanda, I don't like this at all. I can't believe you're at peace with it. You shouldn't be at peace with that.

[B]

Well, no, you should be at peace. We want her to be.

[A]

No, I want you to be struggling with this. No, no. All this psychoanalysis and we're looked at. As long as you're fine with your parents not watching a TV show you're on and you're dedicating your life to

[B]

it, it's okay to have peace that you understand who they are. And that wasn't gonna happen. Yeah.

[C]

And I think it's hard to watch something over time that is. I know it's not a soap opera like in Days of Our Lives or something like that, but I think that would be hard for my dad to sit down and watch Days of Our Lives over and over and over again.

[A]

I think your dad was very distracted by his very hard job. A corporate lawyer is a very taxing and hourly consumptive job.

[C]

I don't like the job.

[A]

And I think you got a male therapist because you wanted your dad's attention. And I think this motherfucker should have watched your show every single episode.

[B]

So.

[C]

Paging Dr. Freud.

[B]

I know Also, that it's Freudian is also very.

[A]

Such a strange, Very Freudian that it's Freudian.

[C]

And then I graduated to other types of shrinks.

[A]

But was uta. Tell me about Ooda really quick. What a name.

[C]

She's really.

[A]

Hagen. She was from Germany. Was she a tough frau?

[B]

Mm.

[C]

That's when I started getting jealous of people who had headshots, and it became like, oh, you can actually do this. I did my school plays and stuff, but it was like a side.

[A]

An elective?

[C]

Yeah, an elective.

[A]

Yeah. Yeah.

[C]

Like soccer.

[B]

So when did you tell your parents? Or maybe you didn't even tell them. You just started,

[C]

like, a slow delivery. Junior year, I did a play and took fewer classes. So then I went to summer school so I could keep up and graduate on time with my class. So once they knew that I was taking a light schedule junior year so I could do a play on 42nd street at, like, some dinky theater. And of course, anything that was theater, they were, like, brilliant.

[B]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

[A]

I'm sorry, but this is a little bit of the snobbery of New York. I'm triggered by it. Maybe it's my baggage, but. What are you talking about? Fucking pretending is pretending. This whole hierarchy of what is culture, I think it's a little snooty.

[C]

I like that. The world needs you right now.

[A]

Okay. I'm here 12 times a week, right?

[B]

Yeah. I mean, I fully agree with him. I think it's crazy to be like, theater is better than.

[A]

No, I'll talk to people. They're on hit shows where the whole country likes it and they're humiliated. They're on the show, and I'm like, that's saying that someone's opinion's more valuable than another person's opinion. It's just gross. That's not how you should be looking at. I was on a right wing sitcom. The people that love the ranch, they're just as valid as the people that love parenthood. They love it. That's it. There's no hierarchy. You have your taste, but your tastes aren't better. They're just your tastes.

[C]

Oh, my God. My sister would love you so much. She's just very purist about that and very hardcore. Okay, I'll give you the example. She was just here. We were with my mom at the end, and in the morning, we would get up together early, and she opened her laptop. She's a doctor. And she just went. And I was like, what's the matter? And she was like, they Upgraded me to first class.

[A]

Yeah, like the look on your face for the listener was that there was another 9, 11 style attack.

[C]

But also like slightly funny. More like as if someone sent her porn.

[B]

Right.

[C]

And she opened it and it was like vile. But also a little bit tittling, a little bit naughty.

[A]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, naughty.

[C]

So there was like a kind of weird combination of bizarre emotions that. It's really part of her stance.

[B]

She's just.

[C]

Again, she didn't take the fucking seat.

[A]

She did not take the seat.

[C]

No, I'm telling you.

[A]

Yeah, okay. So I'm on the right side of the spectrum from her. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

[B]

That's so interesting. You guys come from the same people and the same everything.

[C]

And one time they sent one of those. This was when I was the most famous that I was. Which is maybe the early whole nine yards. More like maybe something's got to give. Like around that time, maybe I just rewatched it. Oh, Diane. Yeah, they sent one of those.

[B]

Beep, beep, beep.

[C]

You know where you go through the airport quickly. Cause I was gonna miss the flight. My sister literally was red sweating. I was like, are you having a stroke? And it was just. She can't stand to cut a line, be given preferential treatment.

[A]

Is her favorite place to vacation? Sweden.

[C]

She wants to move to Denmark.

[A]

There you go. Yeah, yeah, yeah. She should be.

[C]

She'll be like, there are just not enough people of color there.

[B]

Yeah, okay. Oh, she sounds great.

[C]

She's amaz.

[B]

Yeah.

[C]

I have to say.

[A]

Okay, Some things I gotta give. I thought this was funny. You showed your children this movie. Boy, this is great. I loved this story. Cause this is what we go through pretty often at the house, which is there's all these movies we love. We watch them. I do have to acknowledge. Even Ocean's Eleven just watched it with my 12 year old. She absolutely loved it. And I said, wow, I see it. There's no women in this movie. There's one woman and she's in it for like four scenes. And all the movies we have shown in Beverly Hills Cop, there's not a woman. You know, it's that water you're swimming in thing.

[C]

Well, have you done. You're not there yet, but Sixteen Candles haven't shown.

[A]

But Wood, there's a rape.

[C]

She's over his back.

[A]

Yeah.

[C]

With her underwear. And he's like, have fun. She's passed out.

[A]

Yep, yep, yep. I think Revenge of the Nerds too. There's some rape. I think they drug a girl. It really illuminates how much we didn't notice that you're showing your kids. You don't even remember those scenes. And then they come up upon you and you're like, oh, we have some stuff to talk about.

[C]

Yeah. And that's only part. So it's weir. Cause it's a cost benefit thing. Cause I'm still like, there is something beautiful and charming about this movie. But now I have to fucking go into this whole thing about race and girls and women.

[A]

Your age gap. The movie starts with you and Nicholson and your daughter's like, fuck this. Right? That's the story I heard.

[C]

They were like, this is disgusting.

[B]

Really?

[C]

I was like, this is my best movie. Divest from here.

[A]

Sorry. You're morally objective. Wow.

[B]

And that's. That's one with Diane Keaton as the star.

[C]

I don't know who that is.

[A]

That doesn't mean anything to them.

[C]

They have Instagram parties, first of all, where you're only picked if you're on Instagram or something. It's like very exclusive. It's so unquakerly. You have to be tapped. And then sometimes they have really horrible themes. One of them was CEOs and office hoes.

[B]

Wait. And then.

[A]

And they'll watch movies where that's the trope.

[B]

No, they dress up.

[A]

Oh, oh, oh, oh, oh.

[C]

Sorry. The reason I thought of this ADD is because I was like, here are some pictures of Diane. Wear a suit, please.

[B]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[A]

I'm still wrestling with this one. I don't think I'm there yet. So my wife loves to point out the entire time we're watching anything from the 80s or 90s or early 2000s. Wow. Look at the age gap between the male star and the female star star. And it's staggering. It always is. Every one of these things we loved. There's a good 20 year gap between the breadwinner father and the wife. That's not intrinsically sexist or intrinsically predatorial. Younger women sometimes like older men. It's not an across the board situation, of course. I think we've gone so far that we're pretending anytime two people of a different age get together that there's something intrinsically predatorial about it. I'm not there yet.

[C]

On top of that, I would say the movie itself is commenting on this.

[B]

It is. That's the whole scenario.

[C]

It's the whole point of the movie is that he realizes he would like to be with someone more challenging and with whom he can have more Diane Keaton, more rich dialogue. So, yeah, on top of that, I think it just depends on the piece.

[A]

I actually think it's weirdly somehow anti feminist to just conclude every time you look at someone with an age gap that that person has no autonomy.

[C]

Well, we're in a phase right now where people just are ready to pounce.

[B]

Yes.

[C]

And they don't want to take in context, nuance.

[B]

I'm so over. I'm so annoyed.

[C]

I mean, look at Paulson. Yes.

[A]

Oh, I was thinking of her. I'm like, we're not saying that about Paulson. She's with a much older partner.

[C]

But we're my fucking dead body.

[B]

Exactly.

[A]

And then I love it. In your movie fantasy life, I enjoy the shit out of the fact that you have a younger manny that you're having an emotional affair with and you're being appreciated and you feel desired.

[C]

We made this before, Baby girl. I know it's not the same, but yeah, I was really excited about the idea. I was like, why didn't I think of that? Like a mom who falls for the manny. Kind of. Such a great idea.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Stay tuned for more armchair expert, if you dare. His name? Matthew Sheer. Tell me a little bit about him. Because he wrote and directed it and first of all, I loved it. I haven't seen like kind of a small, contained, really intimate, lovely movie in a while and I loved it. I'm not surprised you guys won the jury prize at south by or that you won an acting award. You're great and it's a great little movie. But where does he come from?

[C]

He's a New Yorker. I just got the script cold and I read the scene in which he is with his psychiatrist.

[A]

Everything we've talked about is perfectly inaccorded,

[C]

as you can totally imagine. I was like. I meant as a Jewish New Yorker. I was just like, has he been stalking me? He wrote it for you. I mean, he didn't, but it's weird. And I like the way it talked about mental illness because I like the idea that when we see mental illness in movies, it's always so acute. Hardcore people lining up pills in Girl Interrupted. And I liked this idea that he was sort of like, these are high functioning people, people who have mental illness and they're getting on with it.

[A]

You guys are both leads, but he's our lead. Who? He has ocd. He has an interesting version of ocd and luckily we had an OCD expert on. So as he was saying it, I was like, oh yeah, this is ocd. He's Jewish, but he has super anti Semitic thoughts. When he sees other Jewish people.

[B]

That is ocd.

[A]

Yes, yes. Yeah.

[B]

Oh, that's also very funny.

[A]

It's great hook.

[C]

Nose Hook knows. Hook knows.

[A]

Yes, that's what he said. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And then his therapist is repeated. That great actor Judd Hirsch. But he's so frank about it. You get that sense, like, oh, he's been around.

[C]

Or it's like intrusive thoughts. So that's what they are.

[A]

But I'm always looking for a little sign that the movie's gonna go for it. Movies play it safe so much, and then like, that scene comes early on. I'm like, awesome. They're gonna go for it.

[C]

He was laughing the other day. We were at one of our screenings, and he was like, this is where we either lose half the audience, or I think we were at, like a Jewish film festival in particular. So he was saying, like, this is where we either lose the. Or they're my kind of Jews.

[A]

Tell us about your character.

[C]

I play a mom in New York City who is a. Has been actress who is trying to get back into the game and is also having some depression and anxiety. And the Manny, it turns out, is having some similar issues. So we have a connection.

[A]

And your marriage isn't in the greatest spot. It appears you're both having a kind of midlife y crisis.

[C]

Yes, my husband played. Played by the beautiful Alessandro Nivola, who I also dated.

[B]

Oh, very handsome.

[C]

Ridiculous.

[A]

Yeah. Dangerous.

[C]

Dangerous. Totally dangerous.

[A]

A liability, some people might say. A liability.

[C]

Yes. I ran right to my analyst.

[A]

Another interesting thing. And I talked too long with you about other stuff, but I asked about your parents being wealthy because you're playing a woman who, yes, you're a star, but your father is crazy rich from an investment fund. And so you're loaded. You don't really have the problems. And in fact, your privilege is one of the things you're kind of coming to terms with. And you feel like you're not entitled really to have any issues because you have it kind of made from the outside.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

And weirdly, I think a lot of people might feel that way. As much as they would be afraid to admit that. Cause they're afraid you're asking for compassion when people would kill to have what you have. But people that have everything still are miserable.

[C]

Yep.

[A]

What's wealth to you? Like, it's fascinating to me. Cause I grew up broke, and then I ran into you and Martha's Vineyard, and I was renting a very nice house. And I have such a complicated relationship with it. I was so judgmental. I hated all rich people. Just they were the fucking enemy. Like, that was the man. Right. And. And then I'm around a lot of people and I'm like, I'm with the people I said I hated and I like them. That's confusing. I also still have my moments of judgment. We were at the Four Seasons in Mexico, and I'm looking around and I said to my wife, I'm like, just. The facts are, this pool isn't nearly as fun as the best Western. Like, the people here, they got here and we're just supposed to get here. And then we got here, we're like, well, what now? I'm still a little judgmental of that, but I'm just wondering, like, what's your experience with it? Cause you're playing both in Friends and Neighbors. You're playing with the topic of and maybe the dissatisfaction that comes with it. And then this movie also has that as a theme.

[C]

It's so weird because what went through my head when you were talking is, first of all, yes, I feel like I have a very complicated relationship. And I grew up in a household where my father was a corporate lawyer. So really nice situation.

[A]

And you probably went to school with people that had crazy money.

[C]

There was a very diverse school. So I was, if anything, maybe just cause of the group that I was in, the two girls with whom I was the most simpatico. Both parents were artists. There were a lot of like downtown types.

[B]

Yeah, that seems like that would draw the Quaker.

[C]

Yeah. I was kind of like the uncool rich kid with the ski tan after February break. And it was just terribly uncool because my best friend was going to like an opening with Andy Warhol and Basquiat.

[A]

Wow.

[C]

And I was like at home eating Pepperidge Farm cookies, being like on my curfew's 11. The group that I was in, it was kind of uncool to be like me.

[A]

Yeah. Yeah.

[C]

I think partly because it was just lacking in anything artistic, anything anti establishment. Even though my mom was a social worker. Like, she became more that way as we grew up. But there was just absolutely nothing punk about us and about my parents.

[A]

And you are self conscious about that?

[C]

Yes.

[A]

Yeah.

[C]

In front of my cohorts, I did the Undoing Project, Michael Lewis's book. You've had Michael Lewis? Yes, we do the Undoing Project about Tversky and Kahneman. Because I was scared of flying.

[A]

I don't know that process.

[C]

The Undoing Project is just about their relationship. But I didn't read thinking Fast and slow. Cause it was above my pay grade. But I feel like the Michael Lewis book is easy. But I've been reading about Kahneman lately because he went to pass away in Switzerland. Assisted living. It was really fascinating that he chose to die or kill himself.

[A]

Yeah, I didn't even know that was his end.

[C]

Yes. With my mother's death and everything, I've just been thinking a lot about the end of life. And anyway, in learning about Kahneman, I'm really fascinated by this idea of happiness that he had had. Where he talks a lot about the

[A]

experiential self or the narrative self. Yeah, it's the best concept I think I've ever heard in my life. I think about it non stop.

[C]

That's what went through my head. Because so many people talk about how wealth, once you get past whatever it

[B]

is, what is it that number changes. We always check in on it and it does rise. I have to say.

[A]

I think it plateaus at like 500 grand and then diminishes at like 3 million a year or something.

[B]

Honestly has to be city dependent for sure.

[A]

Makes your life better. It does objectively, until like 500 grand. And then it plateaus for a very long time and then it starts to diminish when you have great wealth.

[C]

But you're right that there's virtue signaling if you don't take the car you prefer to be in. It's kind of the flip side of the same douchiness because you're still doing it in order to portray something to your daughter or other otherwise. Which doesn't really make for happiness.

[A]

And of course I am. My story about myself. I don't have a Bentley. I don't have something that its value is that it's expensive. I have performance shit, that is crazy expensive. No question about it. But I have it. Cause what it does, I don't have it for what it raises my status.

[B]

I know what you're going to do.

[C]

Thinking about the bikini.

[A]

The bikini person. I knew.

[B]

I knew that was.

[A]

Well, we are full of contradictions, aren't we? Exact same thing. Yeah, yeah. It's incumbent upon me to not judge the dude in the Bentley is what it is.

[B]

Yes, but you do.

[C]

Because otherwise you wouldn't have said that.

[A]

Well, for me I do too.

[C]

Sorry, you keep going.

[A]

No, you're the guest.

[C]

So if someone drives up next to you in a big ass Bentley, you have opinions. What are your feelings?

[A]

This becomes my argument towards handbags. Right, which is there's a reason a Ford GT costs what it costs. Okay. It is a carbon fiber. The whole car is one piece. The engine's a one off.

[C]

You know, the people who. The artisans who create an Hermes bag. No, you don't.

[B]

I brought this up.

[A]

If you add up the cost of the leather and you add up the cost of the thread, there becomes a point where what you are paying for is the label. I mean, I think we'd all agree on that. It is built on a scarcity model. I'm not against it. Whatever. Birkin bag. Great. I just don't think you can make the argument that the materials are what cause it to be that price. You could argue that the artistry is what you're paying for. Paying for a fine. There are cars that they're slower, they stop worse, they're less comfortable, they break more, and they're the most expensive. And to me, the single thing that they offer is that people know you have a very expensive car. And then there are cars that I'm super attracted to, which is like, they're the fastest, they handle the best. So they're substantive, in my opinion, for me.

[C]

But it's really interesting that you're valuing that over. I mean, this gets into a whole thing with my sister.

[A]

This will be fun.

[C]

About what is the value of aesthetics? What is the value of a beautiful bookshelf? Whatever else it is, you're totally right.

[B]

It all circles back to the thing we were talking about, how it makes you feel. Yes. You're like. It's structured well, but it's how that makes you feel. Like you know about the structure. It's something for your eyes.

[C]

Identity.

[B]

I'm a person who knows about cars. I know that this is a good car to drive because of.

[A]

This is a car. The guy's car.

[B]

Exactly. This is a car. Sky car. So it's all about what we want to believe about ourselves, how it makes us feel and how we present.

[A]

Yeah. But I do look at certain cars and they're in lime green, and I'm like, this is just an attention seeker. That's why it costs so much. It's a way to get attention, which is. Is great. I'd prefer to not get attention in my cars. I just love how fast they are. I'm not better than anyone. And you guys are making a really solid point.

[B]

Just fun that it came all the way back around.

[A]

It is great. It's wonderful.

[C]

If we just go back to the labor thing. This is sometimes something that just goes through my mind. I know I'm probably one of them from time to time. But, like, I have noticed that a lot of actors will. For example, Just to throw. If a contractor is up charging, they're like, that's fucking outrageous. It's because they know who I am and this and that and the other thing. And it's like, you make hundreds of thousands of dollars an episode for your fucking show. And a fucking pediatric oncologist makes what you make in one week. In a year, maybe. A pediatric oncologist.

[B]

I know who's. This is very fair.

[A]

But we did have an expert on. We have a bias like our confirmation bias. One of the biases we all kind of carry is this bias about being a fool and that we're getting taken advantage of. I don't even know those people. They think they're triggered about the price. Right. But what they really are feeling is like, someone's trying to take advantage of me, and I am a patsy and an idiot for being taken advantage of. And they're not going, like, okay, well, I'm overpaid. I can acknowledge that. So maybe I should overpay everyone. That seems reasonable. I got overpaid. And how about I overpay everyone? So I kind of have that mentality. But then I have a line. I got a bid for Christmas lights where I was like, well, this guy's basically saying, you're so fucking dumb. And I got that triggered in myself. And I'm like, not a chance. If I add up the amount of hours you're saying the hourly rate to hang these is. Is $1,000. And then I get angry. Cause I think you think I'm stupid. And, yeah, it's all my shit.

[B]

That is like, okay, so if he is the best Christmas lights guy and everyone in town is like, oh, my God, he's the best. He can do some things somebody else can't do.

[C]

Or he's carrying this. He wants to get this thing for his home. And so his upcharge is. This coupled with what you just said?

[B]

Well, just. I think you can get away with doing that. That's what, like, you're paying for my name. You're paying for a billion things.

[A]

You know, my ability to go promote it.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Much more than there are metrics, there is a marketplace force that is. Now a lot of people are sliding through. I would agree. But they're not blindly going, yeah, that person deserves a million an episode. There's some calculus, but I just think

[B]

the Christmas lights guy can overcharge if he has. Great.

[A]

If no one else can do what he can do for that Price. He'll get it. That's true.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

I brought in Aaron. He did a pretty good job. We'll never know how good the other job, but. Okay, now back to the movie. We have too many.

[C]

We can agree, though, that pediatric oncologists should make more of that.

[B]

I mean, they need to be making the most amount of money of anyone, I think.

[A]

Schoolteachers and nurses.

[C]

School teachers, nurses. End of caregivers. Yes.

[A]

Okay. I already know you're a good actor. I already know that. But I will say there was a scene in this where you're an actor and you have to go on tape. And it's not the greatest sides. Right. The scene's not ideal. It's not probably what your character wants to be auditioning for.

[C]

That's so weird. I don't know what that's like.

[B]

Can't relate.

[A]

And you're so good. I was like, amanda's so good. She's reading this kind of terrible scene, and she's so believable and good in it. And it's so weird to act within a movie when you're acting.

[C]

Yeah, it's really weird.

[A]

How do you decide, like, what level I'm gonna give it?

[C]

I've just decided lately, if I'm not, as Paulson and I always talk about, if I don't have an accent, a hunchback and a snaggletooth, then I think it's really the most delicious to be like, okay, Amanda, Pete, how real can you make this? How much can you trick David and Sarah Paulson? And they can't see the difference between you doing this and you. And sometimes I forget and I have a terrible take, obviously.

[A]

Are those the two people in your mind that you're.

[C]

I do it a lot. I think of Paulson sometimes because it helps me. Me challenge myself. Because she's such a bitch. We're both such bitches about acting. Like, we're, like, when you're together, fake. Like, we're just assholes. You know? I can see it. I can see the acting. I can see the acting. I can see the acting.

[A]

I'll watch something with you two.

[C]

It's the worst. So if I'm getting in a rut or if I catch myself trying to, like, orchestrate something, or, like, this is a moment where I feel like I. I try to cry a single tear.

[B]

I try to, like, not do that.

[C]

Yeah. And I try to always remember the Passover thing. Like, why this time, this is the only time. Why is this scene different from any other scene? And this is the only time it's happening. This kind of fun with acting just started.

[A]

Yeah.

[C]

I try to tell my kids, like, you've got time. I'm so lucky that I still get a shot. And Matthew Shear. Just the fact that I came across that writing at this age, that's awesome.

[A]

Yeah. Okay, so you have a scene. I don't think this gives away too much of the plot, but you're at a Chillamook ice creamery and a young woman comes up to you and asks for your autograph. And you're pumped because your kids are there. And then she says, yeah, bless this mess is my nighttime show.

[B]

Stop it.

[A]

And I felt so sim.

[B]

That is sim.

[A]

Do you know I was on that show?

[C]

Of course I know.

[A]

I don't know if you know that. I don't know who's seen that show.

[C]

Of course I know.

[A]

But I was like, I got this weird meta feeling. I'm like, oh, my God, they're talking in a movie I'm totally invested in about a show I was in.

[B]

I love it. That's flattering. That means, like a lot of people.

[A]

Well, it's all about Lake, which is fair. Oh, I know.

[B]

But they picked that show, which means they think that so many people have seen it. That. That is a clear.

[A]

Thank you. Thank you.

[C]

That was a really nice pumping you up.

[A]

Sometimes she'll hype man me. And I really appreciate when it's lazing you.

[C]

No, it's not.

[A]

What?

[C]

It is. Glazing.

[B]

Oh, I like glazing. Sounds nice. That sounds right.

[C]

My kids are gonna be like, oh, my God.

[B]

Okay, so it's a known thing. Yes.

[C]

And not only that, but in the scene it was somebody else. And I was like, let's just do Lake Val, because it's happened to me. I cannot fucking tell you how.

[A]

Tell me. Is that your.

[C]

And not only that, but there was one time during this nine month breakup where David and I weren't speaking. I'm the jealous.

[B]

I like that you can admit that.

[C]

Oh, yeah. It was a mutual breakup, but I wanted to have a baby so badly. I was 31, so I was really looking down the barrel of, you know, it was rough. I find out through the grapevine that he's dating her.

[A]

Okay, wait, really quick. Had you already been doppelgangers?

[C]

Excuse me?

[A]

Okay.

[C]

I go to a restaurant with a bunch of girlfriends. It's a crowded bar. I don't remember where it was, but it was on Venice Boulevard and it was a big bar. And they were like trying to take Me out to be like, let's go.

[B]

Yeah.

[C]

And from across the bar, this dude just goes, lake. Oh.

[B]

Oh, Lake. Lake.

[C]

And I was like, this actually can't be happening. Oh, no. It was literally within 24 hours of finding out.

[A]

That's.

[C]

And then he started walking towards me and I was like, I, I, I, I, I, I, I. And anyway, it was this dude who was. I can't remember. He was. And then he came closer and closer and I was like, I'm not Lake. I would pay so much money to see how I said it.

[A]

Your delivery. Yeah.

[B]

Oh, that's so funny.

[C]

And then I can't even tell you how many millions of times after wow. Approached an airport. Can I have your autograph? I love you, Lake.

[A]

So this was your suggestion, I'm presuming.

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

That's great.

[A]

I think our deepest fear, right, is that we're replaceable. We're not indispensable, we're not unique. So if you see someone go out and get the other confusion version. It's like, oh, highly replaceable.

[C]

Yeah, exactly.

[B]

Or it's like, well, then it's not my face. Then what is it?

[C]

Also, by the way, with the most gorgeous body ever.

[B]

She does have a great body.

[C]

She is like the line in When Harry Met Sally, like your basic nightmare.

[B]

She is beautiful.

[A]

She's beautiful. I mean, it's hard to feel bad for someone that gets mistaken for her. I'm so sorry.

[C]

No, you should feel bad for me. I mean, it's happened on the red carpet.

[A]

Oh.

[B]

Oh, wow. That's unwing.

[A]

I need to ask her how frequently she's getting you. I'm now quite curious.

[B]

I bet a ton.

[C]

I bet you it never happens to her.

[B]

No, I'm sure.

[C]

I bet you it never happens. There's no way. It would be weird. That would be weird.

[A]

This is very time sensitive. Do you get mistaken for Amanda Pete? And if so, how frequently?

[C]

Hi, Lance.

[B]

Thank you. Oh, my God. If she claws your back.

[C]

I can't voice memoir.

[A]

Voice memo. Let's see if something comes across the transom.

[C]

So, Marc Jacobs show, I think really not that long ago. Maybe not post Covid, but stepped out of the car already insecure like you're at a fashion show.

[A]

Not horribly, but it's not a great place.

[C]

It's not the greatest thing in the world. And it was just a chorus this time. A chorus because once one person does it again, I would pay so much money. I saw the pictures. But so much money to just have a close up of my face kind of going, yeah.

[B]

Cause what are you supposed to do?

[C]

What do I do? Correct the person there doing it now.

[B]

Oh, my God.

[C]

And then recently, I was with my daughter also on Abbot Kinney, at a store. I forget what it's called. And a woman came up to me with all googly eyed, really excited, and was like, are you Lake Belle?

[A]

Have you ever just gone with it? Cause I have gone with it. I take the picture and then I've already done the picture. And they go, you've done the picture? Well, and then I just. I just love Guards Date. And I'm like, great. I just keep it moving. You know what I'm saying? Like, someone asked me for a picture. I posed for the picture. And then I learned, oh, they thought they were taking a picture of Zach Braff. And I don't correct them. I'm just like, oh, yeah, have a good one.

[C]

Maybe it's because I'm disturbed by the original jealousy. So when it happens, you're basically saying

[A]

to David, I'm not Lake Bell. When you're talking

[C]

too weird to be like, yes, I am her. I wish I were.

[A]

And guess what? I hate Peruvians. Let it be known. Like, what if you just started trashing them? You should know before you go, I hate Peruvians. Or Peruvians. I tried to pick the most innocuous group. They feel safe, right? You can say that about Peruvians.

[C]

Nobody's safe. Nobody's safe.

[B]

It's true.

[A]

Okay, so I love the movie. You're fantastic in it. I was delighted to hear that thing. Selfishly, but it's just great. When does it come out?

[C]

So it comes out March 27th.

[A]

It's my daughter's birthday. Fortuitous old. Yep, yep, Yep. That's the 13th birthday.

[C]

What sign is she? It's a joke. I'm kidding. Yeah.

[A]

Monica.

[C]

Wait, Monica. Wait, Monica.

[B]

She's March, so she should be Pisces.

[C]

That doesn't sound right. End of March. Cause my daughter's February 20th and she's Pisces, so.

[B]

Oh, then no, because my friend's pisces, but she's March 14th. See, what if I'm just lying? So I'm like, guys, I'm not even into it. I'm not even. I don't even know.

[C]

Aries.

[A]

Aries. That sounds familiar. Okay, now friends and neighbors comes back. April.

[C]

Oh, you're right. April 4th or 3rd.

[A]

Sex. I think maybe I wrote it down. Who gives this shit? I just love it. April. April, April.

[B]

That one got me. I really liked it a lot.

[C]

All the rich People.

[A]

Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[B]

It was really fun.

[C]

I'm so glad.

[A]

Yeah. Yeah. We're in such an interesting time. There's so many shows about rich people, but the shows about rich people used to be, like, Dallas and stuff, where it was, like, kind of fun. It was wish fulfillment. And now it's just all about, like, how miserable rich people. Which I guess is probably somewhat true. But, yes, season two comes out, which means you already filmed it, I'd imagine.

[C]

Yeah, we filmed season two.

[A]

Already picked up for a third season.

[C]

Already picked up.

[B]

Congrats.

[A]

Rare that one has security of this nature.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

That's great business.

[C]

Yes. It's really weird, and you just hinted

[A]

at it, and I'm experiencing a tiny bit of it myself. But it sounds like you've found a new gear for acting.

[C]

Yeah, I just feel like I'm just better at it than I used to be.

[A]

I believe that you were fucking great in that movie. But do you think there's also something. I'm just projecting. We kind of talked about this the first time, too, by the way. But I used to have so many goals. So it's like when I did a scene, I wanted the scene to be great, and I wanted the scene to be great so that people would think I was great and give me more work. I couldn't live in the experience of it because I was trying to get somewhere the whole time. And I'm wondering if. Does that sound familiar?

[C]

Yeah. Not to get too heavier, but both my parents passed this past year and it really rocks you. And even just reading about Kahneman lately and happiness, you know, his idea of that is really profound. What do you want to be doing for the next hour, even if you're not shooting? How do you want to relate to people here? What are you curious about here? When I was 27, I was. I haven't met this person on the crew, and I haven't talked to this person or that person. Like, you know, you're really interesting. How did you get here? This lack of curiosity. I think when you're younger, egocentrism, I

[A]

mean, you can't avoid it. Other people call it cuntiness, I don't

[C]

know, but just not having, like, the Grinch, the heart three sizes too small. Your curiosity hasn't developed yet. It hasn't developed. There's no room to take in what the possibilities are today. And so that's also hugely rewarding. And you start realizing how critical that is, how part of what we do is a group thing. It's a team Sport folks.

[A]

It is. Yeah.

[C]

That's been really important to me lately. Just the kind of bigger picture of it. Even on the plane going there, I go back and forth because of the kids.

[A]

Yeah. Where do you live? Primarily in la. You feel so east coast to me. And I only bump into you on the east coast if Friends and Neighbor shoots on the East.

[C]

Yeah. We shoot in New York and outside of New York. So. Jonathan Tropper, very sweetly, the writer, creator, you know, I was like, I'm gonna be a pain in the ass until school's out, so do you still want me? And he was like, sure.

[A]

I think.

[C]

I don't know if he. Yeah, exactly. I don't know how you feel now since.

[A]

Or now. But yeah.

[C]

So I'm like constantly on the plane in the beginning. And then the kids go when everybody goes east, when we start shooting. Yeah. It sounds pretty corny, but I do feel that a lot more in my old age. It's so weird, too. Cause you think of youth as being the time when you're the most curious.

[A]

Yeah. You're discovering, but it's all about you.

[B]

It's very internal youth, I think.

[C]

Yeah. And the goals are probably more common. Narrative or remembering self versus experience. Yeah. Which I worry about so much with our children. Because they're constantly at a concert or at a stage. Sunset or at the beach or reading a book or making a meal and photographing it. At the moment that it's happening, they are jumping out.

[A]

Yep, yep, yep, yep. I know I have. I don't know.

[B]

I don't think it's good.

[A]

I don't want to say I'm fully accept because, like, our kids are not on any social media. So I guess I am. Have you made a decision in that way? Yeah. Not till they're. I'm not even sure what the day would be, but we're years away from that.

[B]

Ninth grade.

[A]

No. I would think 16 would be the

[C]

earliest, but ninth for a phone and then 16 for. I'm like, tell me what to do.

[A]

Tell me what to do. I have a weird, like, AA thing, which is acceptance is the cure to all my problems. Which is like. I accept that. That's how this generation is. I just accept it. I'm not going to change the tide of this. This is what childhood is in this given day. I don't have the power to change it.

[C]

But you do. You have.

[A]

I have. My limited power is to prevent them from having it till 16 or however they get crafty enough that they get it. And I don't know. But currently they can't get an app and one only has a computer and one has an iPad without cell service. That's like the controls I can do. But you can turn 18 and leave and then will she get on Instagram and stare at it all day long? I don't know. But I accept that, that it's going to be a different childhood than I have and it's gonna have an outcome that I don't know. But I have no illusion that I can change that.

[C]

Why are you saying so sane?

[A]

I'm not in so many categories. Just this one, I got kind of annoying.

[B]

It is from aa.

[C]

That is why I also worry about parenting in Brentwood with that certain brand of exceptionalism fucking. My kid's the exception. My kids.

[B]

Yeah, I think it's fair to understand the context your kids are living in and try to corset correct. Yeah. With the privilege. I think it's good to try to instill generosity. That's all you can do is sort of set an example.

[C]

Sometimes, though, I think it's happening, like in an unconscious way. I'll just tell this story really quickly. Again. It's my sister Molly, a few years ago, who's my middle one. And she's the one who's least likely, I would say, to fib. She's straight shooter, heart of gold, fairly easy to read, terrible stomach ache in the evening, and then woke me up at 2 in the morning. I gave her two Advil and a hot bath. And she was still like, it's hurting, it's hurting. So because she's not a drama queen, I took her to Children's Hospital. We sat for two hours. It was fucking two in the morning. They triaged her and they were like, probably constantly constipation. We drive home, she goes to bed. The next day, she wakes up for school and she's like, it still hurts. And I'm like, okay, stay home from school. At around noon, she was like, it really hurts. She was crying. We go to the pediatrician. He's like, go to Children's again. And this time don't leave. He thought it was appendicitis. So we get to Children's Hospital at 5pm on a Friday night.

[A]

Good luck.

[C]

It was wall to wall with families, babies. So around midnight, she's been watching Max and Ruby in between crying for like 10 hours or something or whatever. I'm so bad at math. And my friend who was a resident, she thought maybe she was a resident with some of the doctors who were on call. So she was like, let me call for you and see if I can get you in now that it's midnight. You've been there since five. It's a lot. And she was in excruciating pain. And so she called me back and said, I'm so sorry. Sorry. She's in a Q85, which is like, she's way down the line. Oh, my God. I was about to lose my shit. And I think it was like two in the morning. We finally got called in. The doctor on call came in. They did the ultrasound. They were like, you're about to burst. Your penis is about to burst. You will go for emergency surgery as soon as the surgeon is in. You'll be first up, 7am Whatever. So I call my sister a few days later. I was talking to the. About the surgery and stuff, because I always do that, but I was, like, going on a tirade, like, about how outrageous it was and how it was such a close call. And she was just silent. And I was like, what's up? What do you want to say?

[B]

Yeah.

[C]

And she's like, there are probably kids in there who had leukemia and appendicitis. Everything was triaged. Exactly right.

[A]

I was supposed to be.

[B]

She made it.

[C]

They got it before it burst and they did everything. Everything right. And I was like, what?

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

No, you didn't.

[C]

Yeah, LA parents, like west side parents. There is a lot of. It's a perfect example where I was like, get my child in.

[A]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

[C]

Get my child past these other children.

[A]

Yeah. I think that's insanely natural.

[B]

I think that's. Any parent is like, how do I get my kid to the front of the line? Of course not.

[C]

My.

[B]

Well, she's in a novelty, although she

[C]

has friends, so she could. She knows she could pull that.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

No, she's dead right about what she said to you, but does she have children?

[C]

Yes.

[A]

Okay, great. So I also think the notion that any parent's not going to desire that is insane. I also think that's living in a fake reality. I've heard different experts talk about this. There's a reason that our ring of empathy extends so far. We have evolved to, of course, prioritize our genes. That's how we got here. We didn't get here because our parents prioritized other kids over their own kids. You wouldn't live right now. You can't come from that background. You come from a background, all of us, of people who prioritize their kids over everybody else's. That's why you're here. So there is a certain evolutionary reality which we're living in, and I don't think you deserve judgment for that. I think if you called and complained, you'd be an asshole.

[B]

Right.

[A]

But I don't think you're morally repugnant because you had that instinct.

[C]

Well, I think what shocked me was how certain I was that something had gone terribly wrong.

[A]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

[C]

And how jolted I was out of that conviction and how much I hadn't considered right was batshit.

[A]

I think you realize something logically, but I don't know that we have to go so far as feeling guilty about that instinct. We'd be denying the reality of what we are as a species. To pretend that that shouldn't be or wouldn't be the instinct of anyone with an offspring.

[C]

It's such a longer conversation. But I do think this bleeds into some of the other stuff we're talking about.

[A]

Oh, yeah. You're navigating that line at all times. Right?

[C]

Yeah. Even having nothing to do with our

[A]

children, I participate in this thing. Who was it that we just had? It might have been Michael Lewis that was talking about the boxification of society.

[B]

Skyboxing.

[A]

Skyboxification of society. Baseball parks didn't have skyboxes. There were no lounges or vehicles. VIP viewing areas. Oh, yes. Good job. And, yeah, that's fucking problematic. That's why we have this issue with elitism. And that's why we do have a very bifurcated society of haves and have nots. And it's all very troubling. And it does deserve. We're all participating.

[C]

Yeah. We're all in the water.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

I just love when everyone gets to admit, like, oh, yeah, it's fucking dicey and murky and. Yeah, we're in it.

[B]

Yeah.

[C]

I like purses.

[B]

So do I, girl. So do I.

[C]

Get me that piece.

[A]

Oh, my God. Well, I gotta say, Amanda, I don't think we've gone this long in a long time. And that's. That's a no. That's such a sign of how much we enjoyed this. This was so fun. Did you like it?

[C]

Yeah. I want to come back here.

[A]

Yeah.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

Much better in person, isn't it?

[C]

Yes.

[B]

So much better.

[C]

And I want to be like a fly on the wall for some of your people. Cause they're so.

[B]

That's some good ones.

[A]

Well, we have this chair. Well, good. So let's trade. Cause I came into this with an agenda. I said earmarket. I said it to my wife. And before I got here, I have a very sincere and deep, deep desire to hang out with you and Paulson. We were at maybe it was the Emmys, and I had gotten a hot dog and a bunch of treats and no one else was eating. And I'm, like, in the middle of eating, and I just hear, nice. And I look over and Paulson's recording me, which, again, testament to her adhd. There's a show going on, but somehow she found me in a hot dog a row behind herself. She's somehow distracted by me eating a hot dog and filmed me. And I just feel like I might be able to drop right into the lunacy of you guys. I'm requesting. I would love.

[C]

I want you to hang out with us.

[B]

Oh, so Mahjong?

[C]

No, but. No, but I've had a lot of offers lately.

[B]

Okay.

[C]

Yeah, that's why I'm saying. Interesting.

[A]

Yeah, it's the kale salad for women right now.

[B]

No, I've been playing for years and years and years and years and years and years.

[A]

It's a new thing for her, too. No, it is not your dedication where you're playing often.

[B]

Rachel, Anthony and Allison and I used to play when I lived in the old, old, old apartment.

[A]

I believe you, but you had a

[B]

big, high age, so you should play.

[A]

You guys should play with them.

[C]

I want to. Cause I need to get in a flow state for more. I need more things.

[B]

Yeah, okay.

[C]

Like, I have a few things that are my things, and I need more.

[B]

Okay, well, let's add it to the list.

[A]

I just want to watch TV with you guys. Bell and I do a very specific thing, so it would be great. You guys can cover the acting. Do you know about this thing? We already told you about this. We play a game in Bell. We call go to 2. Like, we're watching a scene. City on the Hill, Kevin Bacon show. Great, great show. For whatever reason, they're shooting the entire scene from high and above over their shoulders. And we're watching it, watching it, watch. And I go, mike, can you go to two? Yeah. The director. How long before we have the ceiling back? Because he's feeling like he might want to shoot eventually. Up a little bit. This bird's eye's not working for him. And then Griston goes, as you know, they broke the ceiling on the way back from lunch, so it is in construction right now.

[C]

That's adorable. It's adorable. Beyond or.

[A]

So one time we were watching also a guy. It was an extra. Clearly, he had to light a candle in the background and they did not give him a long enough match. And this poor extra has got his fingers in this thing. Clearly he's getting burnt. Right. There's an important scene going on. But Kristen goes go to two. I thought we were going to have stunts like the candle. Gary. He's not stunts. Right. He's background. We like to break down what's going wrong.

[C]

I love it.

[A]

It's so fun.

[B]

You guys would have fun joining in on that.

[C]

Yeah, that's basically what we're doing.

[A]

It's just.

[C]

You're right that it's a very acting focused.

[A]

Yes, yes.

[C]

We'll be like, go to shoe fly in somebody else. After lunch.

[A]

Glenn's asking if she's going to continue to use the accent because it wasn't established in scene 203 and we've already shot that. Does she.

[C]

I can't say so many things that I want to say right now.

[A]

Oh, well, this was a blast.

[B]

Thank you so much.

[A]

I adore you. Everybody watch Friends and Neighbors. And everyone watch Fantasy Life March 27. And then April returning for Friends and Neighbors. I adore you.

[C]

I adore you guys.

[A]

Stay tuned for the fact check so you can hear all the facts that were wrong. Okay.

[B]

Okay.

[A]

Where do we start?

[B]

There's so much to say.

[A]

There's a lot to start. You wanna talk about the awards show?

[B]

Yeah. Yes. This last Sunday, I guess two Sundays ago.

[A]

A month ago.

[B]

Yeah. Was the actor awards that Kristin hosted and I was her host writer. So I was there for all the fun stuff. And it went great. I thought it went so well. Well, everyone is very happy with it. And I mean, I don't really have that much to say about the awards other than like, it is fun. It's a fun thing to do in person.

[A]

That was really cute.

[B]

Well, I did get to. I was. We were right backstage for Kristen to do her good night when they were reading when Michael B. Jordan came off stage after winning. And that was really cool to like kind of see that backstage moment. I was very. I loved that he won.

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

And then let's see, were there any other snacks? Snick snacks.

[C]

I mean.

[B]

Oh, obviously Noah Wiley is.

[A]

What adjectives are you gonna use here?

[B]

Just the perfect man. So sexy. So.

[A]

Uh huh. Seems to have so much integrity and kindness.

[B]

Yes. He's nice. Yeah, he's.

[A]

I'm on suspicious. How's this guy? How's this guy so good?

[B]

Suspicious. It's like the Mike Schur effect where you don't trust it because it's so good. But he is.

[A]

And I believe it. I believe it.

[B]

So we wrote a bit with Noah and Kristen where. And then Kristen ended up having to read some medical jargon, which was really a fun bit. And we. We told him, like, if he has time, he just has, like, 30 seconds to come backstage to, like, talk it through for a second. And then he did.

[A]

Were you standing next to him?

[B]

Yes, and I was, but I didn't get introduced, so it's kind of like. Like, I don't want to, like, you know, be like, hey, I'm. You know, I wrote this. And then also, like, I have this podcast and. And then you were on the hayride, and, like, we've been. Yeah, you said you would, and you said so. I've been waiting. But. But in person, he's even hotter.

[A]

Even hotter.

[B]

I can't. I couldn't believe my little eyes.

[A]

They were deceiving. You felt deceived by that.

[B]

And we know I don't have good eyes, good vision.

[A]

True.

[B]

But I was like, oh, my God. I think they're, like, adding wrinkles to the pit. Like, in person, he doesn't even have it. He's so attractive.

[C]

Wow.

[B]

I love him the most. It's probably why he's not coming on. And anyway, so that was exciting stuff.

[A]

Yeah. Congrats.

[B]

Thanks.

[A]

That's really fun.

[B]

Yeah, that was fun. And then, yeah, we were just all very happy and you were coming. I knew you were maybe gonna.

[A]

Well, I was tbd, Right. And I even had to tell Kristen. I'm like, I'm going to try my hardest to go and bring the girl.

[B]

Well, okay. I wanna go back a little bit. Okay. So that was Sunday.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Friday or Thursday, we interviewed Ike Barinholtz. Easter egg. Sorry, that's coming up. And Ike also participated in a bit, which was very nice. And so we were talking about that, and then you said, yeah, I'm gonna go. I just realized I'm getting a colonoscopy on Monday, and so Sunday is the day that I have to do a. The prep.

[A]

Whoever has not had a colonoscopy, or at least the version I always have, you can't eat the day whole day before. So I had my last meal on Saturday at 8:30 at night. I need to add these details. So, you know, I'm obsessed with my weight, weighing myself. So I weighed myself on that night, Saturday night, and I was 206.8 pounds.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Then Sunday, no eating.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

You take. Take this terrible drink, and then in about a half hour to an hour, it starts and it is evacuations that I think only dysentery would be accompanied.

[B]

Yeah. You're not like. Most people are just like, no, you just don't leave the toilet. You're just like, hang out in the bathroom, and then you just get back up on the toilet. And so you were like, so that's gonna be interesting. And I was like, no, you. I was like, don't come. Don't come.

[A]

I gotta say, the prescribed way to do it was just take it at 12pm okay. And I would be leaving the house at 4pm so we could all come.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

I also have a lot of things to do because I'm also gonna go to the track the day after the colonoscopy. So I got a.

[B]

So Tuesday.

[A]

Tuesday morning. Yesterday morning. So I was. I had a lot of little projects on Sunday. I was building this wheel chock for the back of my truck to load my motorcy and get all my gear, the whole thing. It takes a few hours to get prepped to go to the track, and I'm going back and forth to the can. And so we went. And I didn't have any issues on the car ride. That's probably the scariest part. We went to the show. Luckily, Kristin had a porta potty directly outside of her dressing room.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

And so that all went great. I only had to visit that one time.

[B]

I know. Which I was. I was shocked. I was like, okay, this is how it went on this end. Right. Okay. So we're sitting with Ike. You're like, I say, don't come. And you were like, I have to. I have to come. And I was like, oh, no. So then in my head, I was like, this is going to be a disaster. Like, he's just going to be pooping the whole time. And. Okay. And then, like, yeah, the bathroom situation. And then. So no one should be going into that bathroom. So we're going to have to find another bathroom that's close by for everyone else. So, you know, I'm doing this whole thing in my head. And then we. We get there, and Kristen's like, dax has a colonoscopy, so he might not come. And I was like, oh, he might not. Okay, he might not come. He's decided. Doing a lot in my head. You know, it's like, oh, okay. He's decided, like, yeah, you know what? Maybe I shouldn't go. And then a couple hours. They're coming. Oh, okay, they're coming. They're inbound. Yep. All right. Okay.

[A]

Clear the bathroom.

[B]

Okay. Um. And and then you came, brought the kids. And then I was just shocked because, like, at some point I said, because we were obviously in and out of the dressing room because she was performing. And so then at one point I came back, I said, how many times have you been in the bathroom? And you said, once. And I was like, oh, my God, is your body.

[A]

And that was just a pee.

[B]

At that point I was like, is your body like, because you've had so many. Maybe it's used to. Maybe it's like more used to it.

[A]

I. I don't have an explanation. I just was like, if your wife' hosting the show, you got to be there and you got to bring the kids.

[B]

And that's.

[A]

That's that, like, that's, that's what, that's what you do.

[B]

Oh, pause. I did run into Ike, of course, when we were doing the bit. It was a, it was a pre taped bit.

[A]

Okay.

[B]

It wasn't meant to look pre taped. So if I just spoil that. Whatever. Anyway, so I was, I was with Ike backstage while we were doing that, and he was like, so is Dax like, you know, shitting his brain? So I was like, he's not here yet, but he is coming. And I told. And I was like, I'm. I'm nervous. And he, he was like, yeah, no, yeah, you got it. Then you change the colonoscopy. You throw money at the problem. I was like, yeah, that's why. Yeah, he's right. If you have the money, you have the funds. This is where you use it. But okay, alas, it didn't actually matter. You did great.

[A]

Bigger issue for me was by the time I got there, I hadn't eaten for 22 hours.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

And I. And the entire room was full of french fries. There was no corner of the room. I don't know how many people you guys thought were going to be eating french fries, but there, there were a couple hundred orders of yummy smelling french fries and burgers everywhere. And I was just like, oh, my God, I'm so fucking hungry.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

So, okay, I get home that night, wake up the next morning, and I weigh myself and I am 197.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

So I've lost 9.8 pounds in 34 hours. That is an enormous baby. So then I take that you have to take a second dose at 8am then day of.

[B]

Okay.

[A]

For the remnants. Yeah, remnants, remnants. And. And then I take Delta to school. Oh, God, you are on the motorcycle.

[B]

Oh, willy nilly. Okay.

[A]

And that works out. I get home, it hits kind of right after I get home. So I'm like, okay, we dodged that now. Okay, now here's the series of unfortunate events that. So I'm. I'm starving.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

I'm going to the bathroom every 10 minutes. My butt now is hurting. Yeah, it's not like I hate it. Right. I'm hating it. But I've also ordered a actual professional plumber snake for my shower. In my bathroom. I had been using a coat hanger, as you know, I call it going fishing.

[C]

Right.

[A]

And I've gotten a big thing out, but I'm still noticing there's some backup.

[B]

Okay.

[A]

So I ordered a 25 foot snake.

[B]

Okay.

[A]

And I've got an hour to kill before I've got to get in an Uber to go to the cold colonoscopy. And I'm in all my clothes and I take the drain cover off and I'm putting the snake in there and I get to something and then I'm spinning, spinning, spinning. And then this really weird thing that scared me. I. I can tell you later what, I think what happened, but all I can tell you is I'm spinning, spinning, spinning. And then all of a sudden it pulled my arm down and I was like, oh my God, there's some. There's an animal in there. Yes, that is on the other end. Yeah. So I jerked this snake out and Monica, there was a huge fucking hairball at the end. And then like a quarter gallon of that black inky fucking sludge that completely exploded all over my face, my hair, my white shirt. I was wearing my shorts behind the shower door. Open. The walls, my white wal in the bathroom, the floor, the entire shower is covered in black ink. And I'm covered head to toe. And I'm like, oh my. I want to die. What is all over my face?

[B]

This is weird. This is kind of a sim. Ding, ding, ding to an armchair Anonymous we had just heard.

[A]

Which one?

[B]

Remember the sink in the poop in the sewer in her kitchen?

[A]

Like literally when he was flushing it out on the other end. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So I'm covered in this disgusting black, inky liquid that it's so hard to get off.

[B]

Oh, no.

[A]

And I'm like, I'm so fucking covered that I think, what? What's my move?

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

So then I get in the shower.

[B]

Okay.

[A]

I turn it on. I cleaning my clothes first.

[B]

Oh, okay. You didn't want to get rid of those?

[A]

Well, I didn't want to put those directly in the washing machine because I was like, this is disgusting.

[B]

Okay.

[A]

So I'M washing my clothes while I'm wearing them. I clean the entire shower. Then I cleaned the entire floor of the bathroom. All the walls of the bathroom. Yeah, we are. Now I'm late to go to my colonoscopy.

[B]

No.

[A]

And I can't miss the colonoscopy because if I have to do the prep again and not eat right. So I jump in an Uber. I'm so frazzled at this point.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

I mean, also, during that whole cleanup, I'm also having to go sit on the toilet occasionally. I, like, I want to give up on life right now. Then I get. I get in the Uber and I drive, and I'm like, okay. I pull up and I'm like, great. I'm only one minute late. I jump in the elevator, I run up, I walk in the office. I immediately feel like when I walk in the office, this can't be right. I walk up to the thing to check, hey, I'm checking in for my colonoscopy. And she goes, with which doctor? And I say the name, and she goes, oh, yeah, he doesn't do them here. This is the office. And I'm like, okay, I gotta get there. Where does he do it? She gives me an address on Wilshire. I now run out of the building. 10th floor. I'm typing in the address on the Uber. I get on the curb, Uber pulls up. I text the doctor directly, hey, I went to your office. He goes, okay, we're not there. We're on Spalding. I go, spalding. Your office just told me Wilshire. I'm now in Uber going to the wrong address. Oh, my God, I'm already late. And I'm like, dude, they told me this address. He's like, no, it's this. So now I got a sweet talk to Uber. Can you take me to this address? Thank God he did.

[B]

And thank God you aren't pooping in his Uber.

[A]

Yeah, yeah. So by the time I got there, I was like, what a last hour and a half I had on top of all the other stuff.

[B]

You were ready for that anesthesia nap.

[A]

I was. And I got to make a big correction. Okay, so I've said on here in the past, and this is what they used to do in the past. They used to give you Versed to relax you, and then they give you Propofol. They don't do for set anymore.

[B]

Yeah, I don't think I've had that.

[A]

And I asked about it. I said, didn't you used to give Versed? And they go, yeah, but it can cause amnesia and you can have like, you can. You. We don't use it anymore. I was like, oh, man. The only. The only thing that was getting me through all that, I was like, well, I'm to going to have Verd for in a minute. That'll be worth it.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

No, Verd. You can't even feel propofol. It's like you're sitting there and then you wake up.

[B]

Yeah, that's. I was always confused when you've been talking. I'm glad you said this because I'm like, what is this thing? He means like, I just. You're like, you're. You're there and then you're not there anymore.

[A]

Right. So, good news. My colonoscopy was great. There was nothing great. Yes. Then I had the indus. Endoscopy.

[B]

Endoscopy, endoscopy, endoscopy.

[A]

Everything looked golden there.

[B]

Great.

[A]

So, phew. Annie even said, you know, next time we could wait five to seven years.

[B]

That's good.

[A]

And I said, let's compromise at six. So now I have six years instead of five years.

[B]

That's great news. Also, I asked if you ran into a situation that you once had before where you got shamed because they were like, you didn't get all the poo poo out.

[A]

They made a point to say that I didn't. Excellent prep.

[B]

I know.

[A]

He said, how did the prep go? And I said, it's just iced tea. And he said, perfect.

[B]

It's just ice. That's what you're looking for at the end.

[A]

At the end, if you're down to. It just looks like iced tea. You've done a good. Yeah. Sorry, listeners.

[B]

Okay, so that went great.

[A]

I mean, yeah. Yeah. And then, oh, here's a SIM moment. The nurse, incredible nursing staff. Staff, of course, shout out Vida, awesome lady. She said, what are you gonna eat?

[B]

Yeah, that's what I was gonna ask.

[A]

I said, I'm probably gonna try to get my wife to stop at In N Out. And she goes, you know, that's what most people say. They say, in N Out. And I said, oh, wow. And she said, or they say pastrami. And I go, oh, wow. Yeah, fucking pastrami sounds so good. So then I start thinking, I almost wonder if there was. I start thinking like, do I go to fucking Langer Order Langers? So they let me out. I walk out into the car, there's a little tray, and on the tray is two pieces of gluten free sourdough bread and fucking hot pastrami.

[C]

What?

[A]

Kristin just thought, oh, he'll be so hungry. What should I get him? She brought hot pastrami. That's very simple.

[B]

That's so sick.

[A]

I wonder almost if when Vita talked to her, maybe she called her, said, hey, he really wanted. Well, they do have to call to say when to pick you up. I'm gonna ask Chris. That seems like such a coincidence.

[B]

Yeah, maybe. She said, he said he was thinking about Pastrana.

[A]

Well, it was so good. The car ride home. It was from Langer.

[C]

Oh.

[A]

And then I woke up yesterday morning. I could barely wake up. Yeah. Is that propofol or just all the action my body went through?

[B]

Action. Yeah. You're probably tired. Definitely tired.

[A]

And I felt very blessed. I started to get superstitious about going to the track because I weirdly have on the schedule Friday. I'm going to see my show shoulder doctor, which I haven't had a checkup on in four years. And I have some nerves if people

[B]

don't know if they're just now joining us.

[A]

Lots of metal in my shoulder in this. Wonderful.

[B]

Because of the track.

[A]

Because of the track. And there are a couple nerves on top of the metal that drive me nuts. And I want to know if they can just cut the nerves. Right.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

So that's. What's the point of my appointment. But I just kept thinking on the car right there, this feels too weird that I already have a shoulder appointment on Friday. Like, I don't want to get hurt. It just felt jinxy. So very happy to report it was a lovely day at the track. Four sessions, no issues, lots of fun, a lot of updates.

[B]

No, those are good. Colonoscopy is a big update. I wonder when I'm going to have to start doing that.

[A]

You never had one. Yeah. It's time.

[B]

Really?

[A]

Yeah. You're 37.

[B]

I'm 38. That was a. Oh, you did that. That was nice. I don't think you have to. You're 40.

[A]

Okay.

[B]

And also, it's not in my famous. I don't have like that. No one's told me. I need to.

[A]

I want you to plan yours around something eventful so that we have some content.

[B]

No, I. I'm smarter than that.

[A]

Like day before or prep days. Golden Globes.

[B]

Yeah, exactly.

[A]

Stay tuned for more armchair expert. If you d.

[B]

I have a fun update for you.

[A]

Okay.

[B]

I ran into Joy last night.

[A]

No. Joy Bryant.

[B]

Joy Bryant, my spiritual sister. Yes. Your co star. Ex wife and ex wife. Television wife.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

It was also sim because earlier that day I was on instagram and I saw a picture. I almost sent it to you, but I guess I forgot. It was a picture of the cast of Parenthood. And it's said 16 years ago today the show premiered, but it was actually. Oh, this is why I didn't send it to you. Because I was like, oh my God, sim. Weird. But then it was 23 hours ago.

[A]

Okay.

[B]

So it was a day late and I didn't feel like that was simmy, so I didn't send it.

[A]

Okay, okay.

[B]

But then it was. Turns out it was sim because then yesterday Jess and I went to Dunsmore, a restaurant. Very, very delicious restaurant.

[A]

Where's it at?

[B]

It's in Eagle Rock.

[A]

Oh, that makes sense.

[B]

And the thing is, it's very hard to get a reservation there. But you. They do walk ins. But like a few.

[A]

Good luck.

[B]

It's good luck. And you have to get there so early. So we got there early and Jess was like, oh, we're the first one. He was ahead of me. And he was like, we're the first ones. And then he was like, oh, wait. And he like, he's going around the corner. It's clearly some. There are other people there. So I kind of like didn't see. Then, then I'm walking up, I. I turn the corner, it's Joy.

[A]

Come on.

[B]

And I like, I get really smiley and But I see that she looks kind of mad. She's talking to Jess and looks kind of mad.

[A]

Oh, okay.

[B]

And I was like, what's going on here? Hi. And she, she was like, she kind of got like whipp out. And she was like, oh, oh, hi. Oh, oh my God. She like had this whole. So I guess Jess had, Jess said, didn't recognize, didn't know it was Joy. Didn't recognize her for a second, I guess.

[A]

And so it's going both directions.

[B]

Exactly. No, both people didn't recognize either one. And Jess said, oh, I, I think the, the line starts over here. Y. And so she didn't like that at all. And I walk in, in the middle of that and then she sees me, puts it all together, softens, becomes joy. Joy? Yeah, joyful. And she says, she's like, oh my God. She was like, oh my God, I didn't recognize Summer body, like. And then we were all chatting a lot and it was really sweet and fun and she was like, yeah, but don't tell me where to stand. And I was like, yeah, Jess, don't tell me, tell her where to stand.

[A]

Uh huh.

[B]

But then you know, you know, like eight minutes later, the manager comes out and is like, start the line over here.

[A]

Okay, okay. You know, yeah, sure, yeah. But she's like, bitch, I'm here first. I don't know. You're gonna try to act like that's right.

[B]

But the thing is, he just knows because we've done that line. Yes, but I did.

[A]

Who was she with?

[B]

She had two friends with her. And it was. It was a fun bump in, and it was a sim, because 16 years. I had just found out, and she, of course, said to say hi.

[A]

Okay, fun. What did you get and what did she get?

[B]

Well, I get. They have a stew there. It's a chill. It's a chili stew.

[A]

Okay.

[B]

There's no explaining it that matches what it tastes like. It's, I think, one of my favorite foods in this city.

[A]

I want to try it.

[B]

So good. And what you do, it comes with tortillas, and you put a tortilla out, and then you order the cheddar chive mashed potatoes, and then you put, like, a little bit of mashed potato and then stew, and you eat it in the tortilla. It is so good. So I guess.

[A]

Sounds hearty.

[B]

It's so delicious. So I went down the street to pop into a store, and while I was doing that, Jess was telling Joy about the stew. You gotta get the stew. And then, you know, we went to our separate tables, and Jess told this, our server, hey, if they don't order the stew, please order them the stew on us. They need to have it.

[A]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[B]

And they had. They did not order the stew.

[A]

Okay, great.

[B]

And so they did get the stew, and she was very grateful. I'm just glad she got to try it.

[A]

Yes, yes.

[B]

Cause she, you know, you read it and you're like, I don't really need that.

[A]

You gotta be in the mood for a stew. Although I'm always in the mood for a stew and pot roast.

[B]

Oh, my God. Well, it's a mix of stew and pot roast.

[A]

Remember we did a stew that's right. For Game of Thrones.

[B]

We sure did.

[A]

For A Night in the Seven Kingdoms.

[B]

And that was a yummy stew.

[A]

Great stew.

[B]

Great stew.

[A]

From the worst sounding restaurant name in the history. Very skeptical robot restaurant.

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

Anywho. So the stew's the thing that I love to get there, but we got other stuff too.

[A]

I want it now.

[B]

You need to get it.

[A]

I'm gonna go.

[C]

Okay.

[A]

Eagle Rock's not too far.

[B]

It's not too far.

[A]

Manageable.

[B]

All right, well, let's do some FAs

[A]

for Amanda P. Yes. What a fun interview.

[B]

I know. I enjoy her.

[A]

I love when interviews get philosophical.

[B]

Yeah, that's the whole point of the show. That's why we did it in the first place. Now, when did her and Ben Stiller date? So you said 97. She was like, no, no, no, no. Way. Way later than that. It says online briefly dated for a few months in 98. Yeah, but then they started in an off Broadway play together in 2005 anyway, so it's hard for me.

[A]

Still a mystery.

[B]

It's still a mystery.

[A]

We'll have to ask Ben.

[B]

Yeah, I'll see what he thinks.

[A]

You'll see what he has to say about that.

[B]

Okay. I looked up the percentage of seizures that are psychosomatic.

[A]

Mm.

[B]

They're called peens. They're called pes. Psychogenic non epileptic seizures. This says account roughly 5 to 10% of cases in general outpatient neurology clinics, rising to 20 to 40% in specialized epilepsy monitoring units.

[A]

Say the numbers again. I got distracted because you said peen, and it reminded me of a story I wanted to tell you.

[B]

Oh, okay, great.

[A]

Sorry, Sorry, sorry. What was the percentage?

[B]

5 to 10 in general outpatient neurology clinics, but 20 to 40 in specialized epilepsy monitoring units.

[A]

I said 30. Right. I think that's what our expert has said.

[B]

You said 30. And let's just remind everyone that our experts said I. Mine were real.

[A]

I know. Now, that's an interesting thing. You. I know you would. I would want to say that, too.

[B]

Of course I want to say it.

[A]

I would want that, too. I would want people to know. No, I have the real epilepsy. But what's really sad is they have seizures and they're just as much of, like, a victim. I'm saying I would want to say I have real epilepsy. Epilepsy, too.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

But I think in. There's some. There's something there.

[B]

Well, I know what it is.

[A]

You know what I'm saying?

[B]

Yes.

[A]

Yes, go ahead.

[B]

Yes. But I know what it is.

[A]

This becomes like the type 1, type 2 situation.

[B]

No, it's not.

[A]

It does. Like, the only people that are mad when I talk about diabetes, the flak I get are always from type 1 diabetics wanting us to make it very clear. This just came up, and I had to look it up to defend myself. So only 5 to 10% of diabetes cases are type 1. So when people are talking about diabetes, generally speaking, yeah, they're talking about the 90% of people that have type 2. But what's funny is they. I've been accused of shaming them, but what I think that's really happened is that type one are shaming the type two. They're going, I was born with this. I didn't give it to myself. And I don't, I don't think that's the right frame.

[B]

I don't know that that's as, as generous. I don't know that's a generous take.

[A]

Okay. I think they want to be like, I'm not one of those people. So it's actually you that's being mean, not you.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

The type one people that are so mad they're being mean to type two people.

[B]

I don't. But again, I don't know that that's generous enough. Maybe the type 1 people are like, nothing about the type 2 people, but what I have been going through my whole life is a different thing than what, when, than what they're going through. Not that they're not going through something.

[A]

They are, but I would say it's the same thing. It's just what was the cause of it.

[B]

Yeah, but type one.

[C]

But.

[B]

Right, but isn't.

[A]

You have to monitor your blood sugar, you have to administer insulin. You have to do like.

[B]

But you.

[A]

Are the conditions the same?

[B]

Well, maybe type two.

[A]

Well, my cousin has type one and he didn't realize it till he was like 21 and went to a coma, so.

[B]

Right. But he had it his whole life.

[A]

But a lot of Crawley. I mean, yeah, clearly he has it genetically, but it wasn't an issue until he was in his 20s or like

[B]

when we had Halle Berry on and she talked about, she's, she's. It was an issue. She was just kind of like self medicating it.

[A]

Yeah, you did. Like your body's telling you drink a ton of water all the time. Time. In his case, he was drinking Slurpees when he got thirsty, which is why he got up. But, but also, there are tons of type 2 diabetics in that are adolescents. Yeah, that's true.

[B]

That's true.

[A]

And you have the same disease, but you're so worried someone thinks you have type two. So what I'm saying is you think it's really bad to have type 2 and that you hate to be confused for them.

[B]

Maybe.

[A]

I don't think it's on me.

[B]

I don't think it's on you either. But I, I just, I don't, I don't think it's bad to, to differentiate, to say, like, if they're mad about it, that's one thing. But it's. I don't think it's weird to be like, yeah, I have type one, I've had it my whole life. It's genetic.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

That's just what I'm dealing with.

[A]

Yeah. But when we had the expert on, she was like the people that have the psychosomatic seizures, which again is like 30, 30 or 40%, they have way more. That's part of the way they diagnose it. Oh. It's not actually the pattern of epilepsy. Right. Where you have like four, four a day, three days, a week. That's generally not how it works. So it's like, it could be worse in some cases.

[B]

Right. But it's also different. It's like the treatment.

[A]

The treatment's different.

[B]

Is completely different. That medication is not gonna fix that.

[A]

I'm just saying I would hate for someone to think I've given myself an illness.

[C]

Right.

[A]

My own vanity and ego would hate for someone to think I gave myself a psychosomatic illness.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

And I'm saying for me, I wish I. I didn't feel that way.

[B]

Right. So for me, the reason I wanted that validation from her and why I just said it.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Is because for a while it felt that there was some questions around mine.

[A]

Uh huh.

[B]

And like, was it, do I have epilepsy? I don't know. She had two seizures. Like, does she kind of. Maybe not. And there I think there were some alludes alluding to that. So when she was like, no, that's like so plainly. Yes.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

I was like, oh, good. Like, good. I. I am not crazy.

[A]

Yes. You felt like I was accusing you of imagining it a little bit. Yeah. And so from, from my perspective.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

My two defenses of it are more than. You thought you had epilepsy, you thought you had a brain aneurysm.

[B]

I never really thought that.

[A]

I couldn't tell the difference. You talked often about really thinking you had something going on in your brain.

[B]

You mean before?

[A]

Before?

[B]

Oh, before, yeah.

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

I was like something when I. After the first seizure that I didn't know what it was. Yeah. I was like something. Well, I was like something neurological happened.

[A]

Yeah. I'm just saying you had said you also thought you had a brain aneurysm more often than you said you had epilepsy. And I didn't think you had a brain aneurysm. So yes, in that respect, I definitely am guilty of going like, well, it's probably as serious as the br. Brain aneurysm which I don't think you have a brain aneurysm. So that's. I apologize for that. Secondly, my bigger resistance to it is like, I don't want that for you. I don't want you to have epilepsy and have to be on medication the rest of your life and have to monitor it. I just don't want that for you. So I'm not quick to embrace that because I don't want it for you.

[B]

Right.

[A]

That's a lot of what was going on.

[B]

I understand.

[A]

Just so you know, like, I don't want that for you.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

So let's not jump to that. Let's not, you know, let's not totally.

[B]

I, I, yes. And I appreciate that. I. To me, it's like, well, I don't want you to have psoriatic arthritis.

[A]

Right.

[B]

But you have it. And also, if you heard, like, if I heard that. Oh, actually, like, a bunch of people who have psoriatic arthritis don't actually have psoriatic arthritis. And wouldn't you be like, no, but yeah, but I have it. And, like, they still have symptoms of. You'd still want to be like, yeah, that's fine. That has nothing to do with me. But I have it.

[A]

I think I would.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

And I think the best version of myself wouldn't care. It's kind of like the not caring whether people think they have ADHD and they don't. It's like, it doesn't really have anything to do with me. I know what I have, and I shouldn't care. And for the most part, I don't.

[B]

Right.

[A]

You know, I don't care if you think you're dyslexic and you're not. I don't care if you think you're not an alcoholic and you are. I don't care if you think you're an alcoholic and you're not.

[B]

Yes.

[A]

I don't, in general care.

[B]

You don't care about the others, but you do want to be like, I have dyslexia. I know I have this. I was diagnosed. It's something I've been dealing with my whole life. So that's okay.

[A]

Yeah. I'm admitting to you. I would have said the same thing.

[B]

Right.

[A]

I'm letting you into my thoughts. So it's like, I would say the same thing. And then as a challenge to myself, I think, why is that important for me? For me? Like, why do I. What's. What's going on behind there that I have that strong inclination to go well, but I have real dyslexia. Like, I think the best version of me doesn't really care.

[B]

Yeah, but then the best version of you isn't also then acknowledging the truth. Like, the truth is you have it, and there are things to do if you have things. If you have.

[A]

Well, the best version of myself knows what I have, and it doesn't matter what you think I have. That's the best version of me. Right. I think we would agree on that. Like, whether you think my dyslexia is imagined or not, that's your business. And, like, best version of Dax doesn't care. Dax knows what Dax is, and he doesn't care if you have your questions about it.

[B]

That's. That's, like, really. That is true. And it's really living on an island. It's like, everything I know is that's all that matters. It's not letting in. Like, it matters to me if you think I'm coming up with something in my mind, like, that matters to me as my friend. Like, if it's a stranger on the street, I don't care what they think of me. Yeah, but I. What you think think of me matters to me.

[A]

Right. And let's be. I just want to be really clear about the timeline. The first one was in the. In the night. You had back pain. You did see someone who suggested it could have been a seizure.

[B]

No, no. Oh, they never. The seizures never came up.

[A]

Okay.

[B]

Ever. Which is why I was like, what's. They're like, we'll never know unless it happens again. They gave me the steroid, remember? Cause we all thought it was. They. They were like, it must be some kidney thing. But then we took the urine. There was no kidney. Kidney thing. So they were just like.

[A]

Someone said to you. It sounds like a seizure.

[B]

Yes. That was a year later, right? When I went on the date.

[A]

Yes, Yes.

[B]

I went on a date.

[A]

And at that point, I was like, you saw experts. They didn't say it was a seizure. You were on a date. This guy said it was a seizure. You now think you had a seizure. So right there, at that point, you're right. I was like, I don't know that I believe that. The second time you had a seizure, a week later. Okay.

[B]

After. After he told me that. Which is also so wild.

[A]

It is really wild. You had a seizure, someone saw it. And I immediately was like, come live at our house.

[B]

No, no. I think we're talking about two different things, because I'm talking about more in the aftermath. I feel Like, I feel like there's been some. There was some questions even from me. Like, well, I had. Yeah, I had two seizures. I've never had another one. Yes, I'm on the medication, but may. Maybe it's not epilepsy. Maybe I just had these random seizures. Like, I think there were some. There were some questions around do I really had this disease? Again, it's about like the label and exactly the permanence. And so when she said, no, you have it, I was like, okay, that's actually, it was also good for me to hear. Not because of like, oh, I'm crazy, but okay, I have it. Like, so I need to make. I can know that and make decisions about my treatment and stuff. Knowing like, no, I do have this. So is this something I want to wean off of? Is it not?

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

That type of thing.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Anyway, this poor. I feel. I mean, if you are, if you are having seizures. Psychosomatic at all, any se.

[A]

Anyone who's having seizures. I feel terrible for anyone who's diabetic. I feel terrible for anyone who's dealing. And if someone doesn't have psychiac arthritis, but they have tons of joint pain and rashes everywhere, I feel terrible for that person whether or not they got this label. I got.

[B]

Yes, exactly. I. It's not like. But I do think it's good if you can know because then you can. Course. Hopefully.

[A]

But I, I think I. What I'm trying to shine a light on is there is a nature we have that if someone gave, quote, gave themselves something, you don't have to feel

[B]

as there's a stigma.

[A]

Yeah, you die of lung cancer, but you smoked for 40 years versus you never smoked and you die of lung cancer. We have two different categories for those things.

[B]

We do.

[A]

And I'm suggesting that we shouldn't.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Because I don't think like I had this kind of breakthrough thinking about my dad not too long ago. It was like, yeah, for whatever reason, through of the many things that had happened to him, he had to smoke cigarettes. Like, he didn't, he didn't have the same shot as everyone. So like, yeah, for a while I'm like, yeah, well, he smoked cigarettes. But it's like, but why did he smoke cigarettes? Yeah, I think that's what I'm trying to approach is just like, you know, does anyone. Should we not feel bad for anyone?

[B]

Right.

[A]

And I don't think so. I mean, I think it's be equal.

[B]

Yeah. Equals someone tough for me. But also. Yes. Like compassion for everyone.

[A]

That's what I'm. That's what I'm trying to shine a light on. And something I'm aspiring to be. I'm not that way.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

I feel worse for someone who has a blowout, hits a tree and dies than someone who got drunk and hit a tree and dies.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

But I'm aspiring to recognize there's probably a lot of reasons that both things no one chose.

[B]

Yeah, definitely. I mean, mean, I would. I will plainly say I'd rather have epilepsy than penis.

[A]

Oh, is that what you call like peens?

[B]

Because at least I can be on medicine. I can like.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Control this. If I had pe. That's horrible.

[A]

Yeah, that's like controlling panic attacks.

[B]

Yes. Yes. Like, no, I, I'm. I prefer this. So. Okay, where do you. Did Lena Dunham go to school?

[A]

Mm. Friends Academy. But what chapter?

[B]

She did go to Friends seminary before transferring in seventh grade to St. Ann's School in Brooklyn.

[A]

Okay, so everyone was right because Amanda knew she went to school in Brooklyn.

[B]

Exactly.

[A]

And we knew she went to Friends Seminary.

[B]

Yeah. And so you were right.

[A]

Star studded cast over there.

[B]

Yeah. For real. Okay. What's the current number of money that you need before happiness plateaus? Modern studies show happiness often continues to rise with income, with higher plateaus suggested around 200,000 to 500,000 per year.

[A]

Again, that's roughly what I was.

[B]

Yeah, it's going to be.

[A]

I thought it went into a million, though. But I could be wrong.

[B]

Right? I mean, again, to me, depending on where you live. Absolutely makes a big, big decision.

[A]

200 grand a year in LA. You're not, not going to own a home.

[B]

Yeah. You're going to be. You're going to be like, yeah. In an apartment. Maybe a roommate.

[A]

Yeah.

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

It's hard to live here. Did Lake respond?

[A]

Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. It's great. And I got to send it to Amanda.

[B]

Oh, fun.

[C]

I get mistaken for Amanda Pete.

[A]

Maybe. Like I love her voice. Couple times a month, pretty regularly. Just recently I got thanked for.

[C]

Or someone was like, oh, I loved you and blah, blah. I got treated. Oh, was that jury duty? Yep.

[A]

The security dude at Jury D. Oh my God.

[C]

Really loved all of my movies as Amanda Pete.

[B]

So I'm always like, oh, I wish

[C]

she would get credit for this.

[B]

And then I wonder.

[C]

And I was like, I wonder if she ever gets that. Anyway. Yeah, all the time. All the time.

[A]

Compliment.

[C]

She's hot.

[A]

Isn't that great?

[B]

That's great. That is so compliment.

[A]

She's hot.

[B]

It is. But to both of them. They're both hot.

[A]

That's what I was saying in the interview. It's hard to feel bad for either.

[B]

I know. I know. That's it.

[A]

Oh, thank you.

[C]

Thank you.

[A]

I love you. That was fun.

[B]

Love you.