Andrew Schulz

Summary

Podcast Summary: Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard – Episode Featuring Andrew Schulz

Release Date: March 17, 2025
Guest: Andrew Schulz
Host: Dax Shepard
Co-Host: Monica Padman
Description: In this engaging episode of Armchair Expert, Dax Shepard and Monica Padman dive deep into a multifaceted conversation with comedian and actor Andrew Schulz. They explore the intersections of politics, comedy, personal struggles, and societal dynamics, offering listeners a nuanced perspective on contemporary issues.

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1. Introduction to Andrew Schulz

The episode kicks off with Dax and Monica introducing Andrew Schulz, highlighting his prowess in stand-up comedy and his acclaimed Netflix special, "Life", which chronicles his and his wife's journey to parenthood through IVF.

Dax Shepard [04:39]: "Andrew has a new comedy special out now called Life on Netflix. Beautiful stand-up, really, about him and his wife's journey to having a kid, which is really, really sweet."

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2. Navigating Political Discourse in Comedy

Dax and Monica address the inherently political nature of the episode, noting that discussing politics head-on is a departure from their usual content strategy. This candid approach allows for a more profound exploration of the topics at hand.

Dax Shepard [00:57]: "So this one's really political. I guess that's what I want to say up front."

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3. The Role of Comedy in Addressing Sensitive Topics

Andrew Schulz emphasizes his commitment to authenticity in comedy, advocating for humor that doesn't pander but instead challenges audiences thoughtfully. The trio discusses the fine line comedians walk between being provocative and offensive.

Andrew Schulz [06:51]: "We cannot ever be free of China, right? They make shit, we buy shit. And that's okay."

Dax Shepard [15:20]: "I think I want to be liked, but I want to be liked for being brave and unique."

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4. Personal Journeys and Overcoming Adversity

Andrew shares intimate details about his family's background, particularly his father's struggles with a stutter and his mother's achievements as a three-time US Ballroom Dance champion. These stories underscore the importance of resilience and support systems in personal growth.

Andrew Schulz [09:32]: "My dad had a horrible stutter and he had to, like, work on it as an adult. It was imperceptible when he spoke, but he worked hard to overcome it."

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5. Impact of Stereotypes and Cultural Sensitivity

A significant portion of the discussion revolves around the use of stereotypes in comedy and the responsibility that comes with it. Andrew highlights his diverse audience and the trust built with multi-ethnic groups, allowing him to explore cultural nuances without reinforcing harmful stereotypes.

Andrew Schulz [19:21]: "I was like, oh, yeah, this is why we never do it because we're getting very granular about this policy or that and this year and whatever."

Dax Shepard [20:22]: "You have to defend some culture traits without coming across as superior."

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6. Navigating Identity Politics vs. Class Issues

The conversation delves into the tension between identity politics and class-based issues within the Democratic Party. Andrew criticizes what he perceives as an overemphasis on identity, arguing that it diverts attention from pressing economic concerns that affect the broader population.

Andrew Schulz [28:53]: "The Democratic Party is shackled to identity politics because they're afraid of making it what it really should be, which is a class war."

Dax Shepard [31:17]: "We did nothing. Maybe what we did is make people feel more comfortable saying what they were going to vote for out loud."

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7. The Responsibility of Influencers and Comedians

Monica and Andrew discuss the ethical responsibilities of public figures when addressing sensitive topics. They touch on the repercussions of jokes that may unintentionally offend and the importance of understanding the audience's diverse perspectives.

Andrew Schulz [50:22]: "The comedian has to be who they are now and can't create for everyone else."

Dax Shepard [54:01]: "Andrew, this is your life."

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8. Personal Anecdotes and Light-Hearted Moments

Amidst heavy discussions, the trio shares humorous stories about misunderstandings, such as Andrew's mistaken identity with Ashton Kutcher in a nightclub—a testament to his approachable and relatable persona.

Dax Shepard [70:11]: "I was like, oh, Jesus."

Andrew Schulz [71:00]: "We got like 10 people into this hot Parisian nightclub. And then this leaves me with the owner without telling me. So the owner thinks Ashton is studying abroad."

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9. Embracing Vulnerability and Personal Growth

The episode concludes with reflections on vulnerability, personal growth, and the significance of authentic connections. Andrew speaks candidly about his IVF journey and how opening up on stage has resonated with audiences facing similar struggles.

Andrew Schulz [75:38]: "It could be something that destigmatizes this thing and removing that stigma could give people the greatest thing they'll ever experience in their life, which is having a kid."

Dax Shepard [57:35]: "We all better when we have a support system behind us."

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Conclusion

This episode of Armchair Expert offers a rich tapestry of discussions, blending humor with critical societal issues. Andrew Schulz's insights into comedy, politics, and personal adversity provide listeners with a profound understanding of the complexities intertwined in public discourse today. Through candid conversations and shared experiences, Dax, Monica, and Andrew illuminate the path toward authentic storytelling and empathetic engagement.

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Notable Quotes:

• Dax Shepard [19:21]: "You have to defend some culture traits without coming across as superior."

• Andrew Schulz [28:53]: "The Democratic Party is shackled to identity politics because they're afraid of making it what it really should be, which is a class war."

• Monica Padman [50:22]: "The comedian has to be who they are now and can't create for everyone else."

• Andrew Schulz [75:38]: "It could be something that destigmatizes this thing and removing that stigma could give people the greatest thing they'll ever experience in their life, which is having a kid."

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Final Thoughts:

For those seeking an insightful exploration of how comedy intersects with politics and personal life, this episode is a must-listen. Andrew Schulz brings a unique perspective that challenges conventional narratives, fostering a dialogue that's both entertaining and enlightening.

Follow "Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard" on the Wondery App, YouTube, Apple Podcasts, or Spotify to stay updated on future episodes.

Transcript

[Dax Shepard]

Wondry plus subscribers can listen to Armchair Expert early and ad free right now. Join Wondry plus in the Wondry app or on Apple Podcasts, or you can listen for free wherever you get your podcasts. Welcome, welcome, welcome to Armchair Expert. I'm Dan Rather and I'm joined by Monica Padman.

[Monica Padman]

Hi.

[Dax Shepard]

Hi. Today we have a guest that I've been following on Instagram for a couple years now. I went and saw him do Stand up on a first date with McConaughey in Austin, Andrew Scholz. And. And he's also an actor. Okay. This is fun because you're on the. You were on the fence about Andrew.

[Monica Padman]

Yeah.

[Dax Shepard]

About some of his comedy.

[Monica Padman]

Yeah.

[Dax Shepard]

And before he came, I said, yeah, you come on in. We'd love to have you, but there'll be some pushback. So this was a very unique and fun episode.

[Monica Padman]

It was, it was.

[Dax Shepard]

You guys got to really hash it out.

[Monica Padman]

Yeah, it was. It was really engaging. He was great. And. Yeah, it was.

[Dax Shepard]

So this one's really political. I guess that's what I want to say up front.

[Monica Padman]

Yeah.

[Dax Shepard]

We try to avoid politics. This one where I was like, there's no way we do this without going all in.

[Monica Padman]

Yes, I agree. So there's going to just be some people if we choose to have them, which I think we should. I think we should have everyone on. Yeah, that. If you ignore that piece, I think that's problematic.

[Dax Shepard]

Right.

[Monica Padman]

I think we have to ask.

[Dax Shepard]

So for me, it was very fun because we never do it. And also in the middle of it, I was like, yeah, this is why we never do it because we're in the, you know, we're getting very granular about this policy or that and this year and whatever. But I, I thought it was thrilling to sit kind of on the sidelines and watch the whole thing.

[Monica Padman]

Yeah, yeah, it was fun.

[Dax Shepard]

Andrew has a new comedy special out now called Life on Netflix. Beautiful Standup, really, about him and his wife's journey to having a kid, which is really, really sweet.

[Monica Padman]

It is.

[Dax Shepard]

And he also has two very popular podcasts. He might even have more. But Flagrant and the Brilliant Idiots. So check out both podcasts and Life on Netflix. Please enjoy Andrew Scholz. We are supported by the all new Galaxy S25 Ultra from Samsung. If it's time to upgrade your phone, don't just do the same old thing. Get a true a companion that's enhanced with the latest and greatest tech. The Galaxy S25 Ultra evolves with you to handle multiple tasks with just one ask. For example, you can tell it to search for recipes and add it to your notes. Or find a restaurant nearby and text it to your friends. And it does. Which is so nice because when you cut down on time toggling from app to app, you get more time back. And you can use that time to actually cook that recipe or hang with your friends at that restaurant. And now Brief with Galaxy AI gives you personalized daily briefings that keep you a step ahead. See your appointments, the weather, your energy, score and more all in one place. Get your Galaxy S25 Ultra now at samsung.com compatible with select apps. Requires Google Gemini account. Results may vary based on input. Check responses for accuracy. Now Brief with Galaxy AI displays daily select information from select apps. May require Internet connection. Galaxy AI features by Samsung free through 2025 and require Samsung account login. We are supported by Ring. You don't have to miss out on what's happening at home With Ring cameras and doorbells you can see and speak to who's there from anywhere with Ring's battery doorbell. Plus you can greet visitors, get notified about packages and see what's going on at your front door. And head to toe video lets you see more of what's happening up high and down low. Another great way to check in on home is Ring's Pan Tilt indoor cam. You can control the camera from your phone and pan around to see what your pet up to. And with two way talk you can even say hi to them.

[Monica Padman]

Oh that's so cute. If I get my dog I'm definitely going to talk to him with the Pan Tilt indoor cam. I love. I have a Ring video doorbell and I really like it and it makes me feel very safe.

[Dax Shepard]

Yeah, they're fantastic and they're so simple to install. With Ring you can check on home from anywhere. Learn [e-mail] he's an object.

[Andrew Schulz]

He's.

[Dax Shepard]

I should be miserable.

[Monica Padman]

Hanukkah. Nice to meet you. Absolutely nice to meet you.

[Andrew Schulz]

Thanks for having me.

[Monica Padman]

Yes, of course. Did he warn you about my wrath.

[Dax Shepard]

In so many ways? Yeah, yeah. He said.

[Andrew Schulz]

I don't know what she said.

[Dax Shepard]

You were like can I come by? I got a special coming out and I said oh my God I'd love to have you but I also want you to know you're gonna walk into some pushback and party.

[Monica Padman]

Yeah. Which I appreciate.

[Andrew Schulz]

Makes it better.

[Monica Padman]

Yeah, I do too.

[Andrew Schulz]

But don't go too soft on me.

[Monica Padman]

Oh don't you worry.

[Andrew Schulz]

Okay.

[Dax Shepard]

What's the hardest anyone's going on? You. Have you ever actually been in Like a gotcha situation. Like, gotcha interview.

[Andrew Schulz]

I don't know what there is to get.

[Dax Shepard]

You're not hiding anything. Your worst side is out in public, probably.

[Andrew Schulz]

I guess I can sleep at night. But also it's less maybe interviews, but more conversations. Will somebody will point something out and I'll just be like, oh, okay, I see why that's interpreted in that way.

[Dax Shepard]

Right, right, right.

[Andrew Schulz]

Yeah.

[Dax Shepard]

So I'm never, like, gone full. Do you see this clash? I'd never talk about politics, but with Zelensky, this is worth repeating.

[Monica Padman]

Wait, What?

[Dax Shepard]

Zelinsky joined J.D. vance and Trump at a news conference, and it is a screaming match.

[Andrew Schulz]

Even before it start, they're kind of roasting him for not wearing a suit. They're like, yeah, you can't wear a suit to the Oval Office. And then he's like, I'm in a war to do this.

[Dax Shepard]

Trump's like, you don't have good cards. And he's like, I' playing cards. We're in a war. This is for real. This dude is in a war. I know it's a card.

[Andrew Schulz]

I think they thought that they were going to announce this. Stop to it. I think they thought there was going to be an agreement, and that's why they had it. And then it became kind of combative.

[Dax Shepard]

Just to put all my cards on the table. I'm rooting for the Ukraine like crazy. From the second it started, they invaded you bullies. Let's go, let's help. That's where I stand. Then I read something yesterday where I was like, oh, I think I see what's happening. So Trump wants to be completely divorced of China. China has 74% of the rare earth minerals. Ukraine's got a ton of them. And Trump's like, hey, we've given you $300 billion. You pay us back in those, we're free from China. And I was like, oh, maybe this whole thing is starting to make sense. And then I saw this news conference and I'm like, I don't know if there's any game plan. Yeah, they were just gonna bring them there and fucking brawl be.

[Andrew Schulz]

But we can't ever be free of China, right? They make shit, we buy shit.

[Dax Shepard]

Everything in this room is probably from China.

[Andrew Schulz]

And that's okay.

[Dax Shepard]

Yeah, I agree.

[Andrew Schulz]

What' we should all be working together. This is a better world. What is it? Two countries with McDonald's have never gone to war? I mean, Ukraine and Russia are fighting right now, and Surely they got McDonald's.

[Dax Shepard]

But the idea McDonald's was one that pulled out in the immediate.

[Andrew Schulz]

But then they just put Fck Donald's.

[Dax Shepard]

Yes, exactly.

[Andrew Schulz]

They don't have Coca Cola. They have Coca Cola.

[Dax Shepard]

Whatever it is.

[Andrew Schulz]

Still making the money. Isn't Fanta just Nazi Coke, is it?

[Monica Padman]

Well, no, it's orange.

[Andrew Schulz]

Yeah, but like I think. I don't know if it's the Coca Cola company. Oh, God, you guys.

[Monica Padman]

We will fact check.

[Dax Shepard]

By the way, that's not who you want to be in a court case with Coca Cola.

[Andrew Schulz]

Why is it that bad?

[Dax Shepard]

Well, they got some deep pockets. Pockets.

[Andrew Schulz]

They do have your pockets from all that Nazi money.

[Monica Padman]

They might sponsor this show.

[Andrew Schulz]

I'm sorry, my bad. We love Coke. It was Pepsi.

[Monica Padman]

That's what it was.

[Andrew Schulz]

Pepsi to win out there.

[Dax Shepard]

I don't care if I found out terrible stuff about Coke. I will not stop drinking Diet Coke.

[Andrew Schulz]

Trashy. To do this.

[Dax Shepard]

I've got a spray and a nicotine.

[Andrew Schulz]

I love that you were doing the nicotine Binoco on the pod when you came over. Because I didn't understand what it was. But we gotta feel something. All right, anyway, so tell me. I want to know all your settling. I want to know all your things.

[Dax Shepard]

I have a theory.

[Monica Padman]

Okay, sure.

[Dax Shepard]

If you don't mind, I would love.

[Monica Padman]

To hear your theory.

[Dax Shepard]

I'd like to have standard approach. We always do. Let's get to know Andrew as just a bug.

[Andrew Schulz]

Okay, here's my thing. Knowing in the back of my head that there's a thing.

[Dax Shepard]

It's going to make you uneasy.

[Andrew Schulz]

I don't know if it's uneasy, but I'm almost just like. Let's just get through what you think and then we'll eventually get to.

[Dax Shepard]

I just find it's very powerful to hear someone's real story to find out where are they coming from.

[Andrew Schulz]

I should probably trust you guys. You guys have done pretty well at this podcasting thing.

[Monica Padman]

Hearing about you and your background in your life is important.

[Andrew Schulz]

All right, let's do it. Talk to me.

[Dax Shepard]

Well, first and most exciting is your mother is a bombshell.

[Andrew Schulz]

Thank you.

[Dax Shepard]

And when I was on your show, we discussed. Well, I asked. She is a professional ballroom dancer.

[Monica Padman]

Ooh la la.

[Andrew Schulz]

Three time US Ballroom dance champion.

[Dax Shepard]

Not a big deal. Okay, three time. The goat who's the most winningest ever? Is there a woman with six or seven titles?

[Andrew Schulz]

We don't talk about those women under her. We don't discuss those women at all. Those women are not in my family. Ginger Rogers and Sandra Cameron. Those are the only female ballroom dancers we talk about.

[Monica Padman]

Okay. So powerful.

[Andrew Schulz]

Yes.

[Dax Shepard]

From Scotland.

[Andrew Schulz]

Born and raised in Scotland.

[Dax Shepard]

When did she come?

[Andrew Schulz]

20S, young, maybe like 20, 22, something like that.

[Monica Padman]

Okay, you thought 1920s.

[Dax Shepard]

Well, also, you paired with the old band dancing. And I was like, how the fuck old? Your mom's 100.

[Andrew Schulz]

She's a flapper. No, they came over here when she was working for the Australian Embassy and then like, found some way to get over here, through there.

[Dax Shepard]

In pursuit of dancing. Yeah. And then Andrew and his sweet father and mother had a ballroom dancing studio in lower Manhattan.

[Andrew Schulz]

So, yeah, my mom had a ball dance studio. My dad used to work in the news business. He was producing stories for nb. He did some cool stories. Like, he did the first ever story on hip hop music for NBC.

[Dax Shepard]

So in the 80s. Yeah.

[Andrew Schulz]

And he would go up and interview all these boxers. That's why I'm a boxing fan. My dad and I would just watch all these boxing fights. So there's like old footage of my dad shadow boxing with Muhammad Ali.

[Monica Padman]

Oh, my God. Cool.

[Dax Shepard]

And he was in Vietnam.

[Andrew Schulz]

He was in the army during that time. But they wouldn't send him over.

[Monica Padman]

Too tall.

[Andrew Schulz]

Too tall. Because in the army he asked to go over. He was like, this is the war of my generation. I don't really know what's going on. I kind of know what people are telling me what's going on, but I'd like to see it. Can I go over in any capacity? I don't want to go shoot people. I'll take pictures, whatever you want. And then what they said is, everybody has a role in the army and that you have to stick to that role and we need you for whatever reason. This is back in the day. My dad's pretty old, so he's like 82. So he just walked into WBAL. This is Baltimore. This is where Oprah got her start. He asked him if he could be a journalist.

[Dax Shepard]

He charmed them.

[Andrew Schulz]

No, he had a horrible stutter and he had to, like, work on it as an adult.

[Dax Shepard]

That's charming, though. People have a lot of compassion for someone with a stutter.

[Andrew Schulz]

Well, he worked on it first, perfecting.

[Dax Shepard]

The stutter, making it great, making him.

[Andrew Schulz]

It was imperceptible when he spoke, but it was a time where you could, like, walk in and you could just put in an application to be an on air reporter. Yeah, that's what he did. So he was on air first, and then when he came up to New York, he was producing stories. So he wasn't on air. He was looking at cool stuff.

[Dax Shepard]

And was that the business that supported everything. Was he successful enough?

[Andrew Schulz]

My mom was the breadwinner, and then my dad left the business and then started running the business with my mom.

[Dax Shepard]

And did you ever work there? There? Yeah.

[Monica Padman]

Did you dance?

[Andrew Schulz]

I can dance a little.

[Monica Padman]

Okay.

[Andrew Schulz]

Yeah. My mom kind of had a dancer, so my mom, she didn't really pressure us because she kind of had a stage mom, so she was terrified of putting that pressure on us. But, yeah, we learned the basics.

[Dax Shepard]

You can be at a wedding and be the best person.

[Andrew Schulz]

I don't know about the best.

[Dax Shepard]

I think the bar is so low.

[Andrew Schulz]

The bar is low. Especially for white dudes, too.

[Dax Shepard]

Yes. If I can do running man, and I crush.

[Andrew Schulz]

But can you do any ethnic shit?

[Dax Shepard]

Hit me. What are the options?

[Andrew Schulz]

It's also.

[Dax Shepard]

I like to do the Greek thing. That's fine.

[Andrew Schulz]

Yeah, I guess they're ethnic. Yeah. White. White.

[Dax Shepard]

They're an ethnicity.

[Andrew Schulz]

They are an ethnicity.

[Dax Shepard]

So it begins.

[Monica Padman]

Well, I don't have a problem with you saying white people. Yeah, I'm fine with that.

[Andrew Schulz]

I don't think white is an ethnicity.

[Dax Shepard]

Well, white's not.

[Monica Padman]

Yeah, exactly. I agree.

[Dax Shepard]

Scottishes and definitely the Greeks. They started it all. Hellenic studies, so they say.

[Monica Padman]

I think Africa really started it all.

[Dax Shepard]

The Rift Valley started it all. But the Greeks, boy, they gave us a lot of stuff.

[Andrew Schulz]

Why do we just skip in Asia?

[Monica Padman]

Asia's involved big time.

[Dax Shepard]

They gave us some stuff. You got a real boner for Asia because you want all our shit to be built in China. And now you're coming back with their cultural contributions, saying, we talk about the.

[Andrew Schulz]

Beginning of civilization and we kind of skip, especially religion. We skip what's happening over there in India, don't we?

[Monica Padman]

Oh, yeah. It's a big one.

[Dax Shepard]

Well, the Indus Valley, also one of the very early civilizations. You did psych in college. I did anthro. So I'm hip to what was happening in these different regions. Great contributions. But Western Civ starts in Greece.

[Andrew Schulz]

In Greece. Okay, fair enough.

[Dax Shepard]

Okay, good.

[Andrew Schulz]

What is Greece?

[Dax Shepard]

What is it? Is it even a place?

[Andrew Schulz]

It's not really a place. It's a bunch of little cities. It's a bunch of little tribes that have now become a place, historically speaking. But back in the day, they would never go. I'm Greek. It was just the dominant culture. It was the dominant language. But there's nothing that unified these places. They're ready to go to war. They warned a lot, like, is Alexander the Great Greek or is he Macedonian?

[Dax Shepard]

Both.

[Andrew Schulz]

He's one. He's Macedonian. And then the Macedonians get No credit for whatever the fuck he did. Isn't that unfair?

[Dax Shepard]

That's like saying, is he an Angelino or is he a Marine?

[Andrew Schulz]

No, because they weren't a unified country.

[Dax Shepard]

That's fair.

[Andrew Schulz]

Italy's not even a unified country until 40 years ago.

[Dax Shepard]

Back up, Andrew.

[Andrew Schulz]

Yeah.

[Dax Shepard]

No, zero to 800. Rome is entirely unified. In fact, they've unified all of Europe. The Roman Empire.

[Andrew Schulz]

Zero to 800?

[Dax Shepard]

Yeah.

[Andrew Schulz]

And then after that, the Visigoths and.

[Dax Shepard]

The Ostegos come down from Gaul, which is.

[Andrew Schulz]

I didn't say Rome, I said Italy.

[Dax Shepard]

Yes, wonderful. It's changed names.

[Monica Padman]

Oh, wow. I didn't see this.

[Dax Shepard]

You thought you guys were gonna. All right, moving on to the dance. What kind of jobs were you? Mopping? And were you talking to all these older women who are.

[Andrew Schulz]

Yeah, I mean, just hanging around. When I was really young, I'd pretend to teach with my mom. She would just kind of have me in the class, and I just kind of stand next to her while she was doing it. Sometimes she would demonstrate with me, and that was really exciting. I got to show off my cha cha right now in front of all these adults.

[Dax Shepard]

Probably everyone thought you were so cute.

[Andrew Schulz]

Probably.

[Dax Shepard]

This could be the birth of your confidence.

[Andrew Schulz]

You know what's interesting, if I'm going to reflect on that? I was aware at a young age of being cute. I remember my mom went to, like, Betsy Johnson or something, like, try on clothing. And I remember she would come out and I would go like, oh, my God, mom, you look beautiful. And then all the people are helping were like, oh, it's so sweet. And I was like, I just gotta say that. And then they all think I'm the nicest kid ever. I was aware of it. Probably too young in age.

[Monica Padman]

You saw the math of how to be liked.

[Andrew Schulz]

Yeah, I probably wanted them to like.

[Monica Padman]

Me as a boy.

[Dax Shepard]

I'm sure you're not dying to hear cute, but you are dying to hear some kind of approval and recognition. You exist.

[Andrew Schulz]

Oh, absolutely. There definitely has always been that need. Scary to look at yourself like that sometimes.

[Dax Shepard]

Well, because it feels narcissistic.

[Andrew Schulz]

No, it feels pathetic. You're like, I just want to be liked, but that is what I do for a living. Like, I go on stage.

[Dax Shepard]

That's the human experience. That's not unique to performers.

[Andrew Schulz]

I agree. We need each other and we need that kind of connection. But I wonder if the reason why I can be a confrontational with my opinions, it's me dealing with this idea that I do want to be liked, but I don't want it to be just about that. It has to be something else. There has to be some barrier of entry. It's not as simple as. Let me just pander to you guys. That to me feels unearned.

[Monica Padman]

Yep.

[Andrew Schulz]

I'm just like spitting.

[Monica Padman]

Right?

[Dax Shepard]

I'm with you because I have a similar ism, which is I think I want to be liked, but I want to be liked for being brave and unique. So it's not just I want general you like me because anyone could get that I need a very special.

[Andrew Schulz]

We're on a different level of narcissism. It's like, you can like me for how I want to be like.

[Dax Shepard]

Exactly.

[Andrew Schulz]

Don't you dare like me because I'm nice and kind.

[Dax Shepard]

Ideally you would like me because I'm hot, but that's off the table. So then I think we always think of becoming attention seekers and approval junkies because we weren't getting enough. But also the opposite could be true, which is you could get it and it's enjoyable. It was addictive.

[Andrew Schulz]

I got so much attention. My dad was the best dad in the whole fucking world. There wasn't a day where he wouldn't play baseball. I would have to tell him not to come to comedy show. To this day he has dementia. There's no short term memory really. But if I asked him to come to every single comedy show that I was doing, it wouldn't even be an inconvenience. It would just be such a knee jerk, like, of course we'll be there. Until I had a kid, I don't think I understood that. I thought that what my dad did and I don't want to take anything away from it, but I never saw any of my friends parents not to shit on them. But going to the games and supporting.

[Dax Shepard]

Your dads in the 80s were not at any of these things.

[Andrew Schulz]

It was a different time. He had a shitty dad. And I think that he dedicated his fatherhood experience to reversing that trend. He knocked it out the park. It's what I was used to. And my boy Jamil is like, you do realize that your dad was the only dad at the basketball games. We played basketball for our high school. Now after having a daughter, there isn't a thing that I don't want to be. It's not like a burden to go to gymnastics. I love being a gymnastic privilege. It is seeing her just have the courage, like just walk up to people and hand them something, a book. And she just walk up, she goes, you'll read this to me now she's not talking, but, like, this is what I want.

[Dax Shepard]

A little boss.

[Andrew Schulz]

You love it because those are the things you can't control in your child. Will you be courageous? Will you have confidence again?

[Dax Shepard]

Yeah.

[Monica Padman]

The genetics thing, the likable thing and how you got a lot of it and you were liked and you knew how to do it. It almost seems like that was so easy that now you want to be liked despite you want. So unlikable. But people still like you. And that's the real proof of likability. And by the way, I think you've done.

[Andrew Schulz]

Oh, wow. That's kind of cool.

[Monica Padman]

I know that might sound insulting, but you are extremely likable and so funny. But I'm like, what is going on that we are going this far? And I do wonder if that's a piece of it. Are you still gonna like me even if I say this, this and this?

[Andrew Schulz]

It's so weird. The analysis is probably right. We're looking at this in terms of the yearning to be liked, which is an uncomfortable thing to even admit about yourself.

[Monica Padman]

Human.

[Andrew Schulz]

Yes. At your core, you wish that you were like. Like, I'm an artist and I want to create my art, and I want my art to be appreciated. In this one thing, you want to take a position. Or I want to be absurdist or I want to be vulnerable. Edgy is such a corny word now. But, like, I want to be. I don't. What is it? Provocative. Yeah, yeah. But if you peel back that layer, there's something else there that's probably more honest. So, yes, I agree with you, but I'm curious about.

[Dax Shepard]

Okay, I'm in an interesting position. Right. Because if this were a spectrum. I'm not with you and I'm not with Monica.

[Andrew Schulz]

This is like what you guys think I am. Politically.

[Dax Shepard]

Politically, racially, you know, all these things that are kind of the words that I'll use.

[Andrew Schulz]

Yeah, yeah, I guess.

[Monica Padman]

The provocative nature, you're saying.

[Andrew Schulz]

Yeah, yeah.

[Dax Shepard]

And so I'm in an interesting position because this morning I'm like, I need to do both things. This is my best friend. If it gets dicey, you're going down. But hold on, hold on, hold on. Yeah, yeah.

[Andrew Schulz]

It's not going to be.

[Dax Shepard]

Let me just finish. This is just me mentally in my head. Very relevant.

[Monica Padman]

He loves to defend.

[Dax Shepard]

There's a really relevant piece to this that I don't think is examined much. If you are in the suburbs in a predominantly white school and you're using stereotypes and there's Only five minorities there. That is a rough situation. It's scary for those five and it's dangerous. Now if you grew up and you're not the dominant group, you're among a very diverse group of kids, you playing on stereotypes isn't scaring those kids. And so I think what could be really dangerous for people to do is to apply the context you're in or that you're from to somebody else and globally. And what I will defend about you is you grew up in the East Village, you went to these schools that it wasn't all white. Your friendship group, which I have observed, is not white at all.

[Andrew Schulz]

We got a few whites, you got a few whities. Yeah, a couple whites in there.

[Monica Padman]

You know, you need it for diversity.

[Andrew Schulz]

Yeah, we got some deis.

[Dax Shepard]

But I don't think it's terribly fair for the white suburban person with no friends of color whatsoever to be telling you how you should interact with your very multi ethnic group of friends who are all consenting and enjoying it. I don't think that's fair.

[Andrew Schulz]

I agree with you 100% and I still have empathy for them. The white guy from Maine who works for like NPR who is truly trying.

[Dax Shepard]

To make the world better. Yeah.

[Andrew Schulz]

And he's trying to protect these people. He doesn't really know.

[Dax Shepard]

Exactly.

[Andrew Schulz]

And he might believe that they're under attack from these things that people are saying. And his knee jerk reaction is to do the right human thing, which is to protect these people. But his ignorance is creating an inability to understand a social dynamic that he hasn't lived. And there's ignorance that goes both ways. You could call me a lot of things, but when you talk about other cultures and that kind of stuff, I wouldn't say ignorant is one of them. What I'm always very proud of is nobody has a more diverse audience at their comedy shows than me.

[Dax Shepard]

The thing that brought me to you is I saw a video of you and I think Taiwan, Russia, Taiwano, Australia, the audience is super Asian.

[Andrew Schulz]

Oh yeah. The front row of all the Taiwanese guys.

[Dax Shepard]

And you're making jokes directly to them that are very funny, very racial. It's not behind their back. There's no sense of superiority.

[Monica Padman]

It's fun.

[Andrew Schulz]

If they're not there there, I don't do the joke if they're not there. Everybody has this discomfort when they're there. It's actually more comfortable for everybody.

[Dax Shepard]

Right. If they're laughing, it gives you permission to laugh.

[Andrew Schulz]

True. But even if they weren't laughing, it doesn't feel like we're hiding some nefarious act. It feels like there's enough trust there to have fun in this moment with these people.

[Dax Shepard]

Right.

[Andrew Schulz]

Which is what you do when you have close relationships with people from different cultures. You eventually build up enough trust and you hopefully don't go for like low hanging fruit shit. Where not only do they laugh at the joke, what I've seen at my shows is they feel seen if you can know nuanced and specific things about a culture. I'm a white guy from New York. Why do I sell out arenas in the Middle East? Is because I might say specific nuanced things about what's going on there. And they're like, what? The. The takeaway from that, I hope is, oh, he like took a second to talk to people and learn about some things that no outsider would really know about. Most of them are coming here to party and some Russian prostitute, he's sitting down and finding out how we date and how we use airdrop pictures to hit on girls without them even knowing. And the girl accepts it. That's how we can talk. But we want to avoid public humiliation. So we won't walk up to a woman because culturally that might be shunned. I think that's the takeaway. And then I think what happens is the casual sees like a 30 second clip with the caption, this guy's a bad guy. They watch it with that context, which I get.

[Dax Shepard]

Well. And a lot of people are just watching things to police whether or not it falls into what they would do. Yeah, well, counterpoint, that's kind of my defensive view is I know what it's like to be in a poor neighborhood in Detroit, living in an apartment building where all my neighbors are everything. And it's on because we all trust each other, we love each other, and it's very fun for all of us. And I'm watching your special last night and I'm like, here's the truth. A ton of Latinas and Latinos are going to be offended.

[Andrew Schulz]

None will.

[Dax Shepard]

And a ton are going to love it.

[Andrew Schulz]

This is where you got to understand Latin culture. They don't care about those things.

[Dax Shepard]

No, I did have a personal experience with this that I'll share. But no, I think there are some Latinos living in a predominantly white suburb that are going to see that and it's going to be scary.

[Andrew Schulz]

Like, what joke?

[Dax Shepard]

Just hearing you do their accent, they're going to think, oh, I'm going to go.

[Andrew Schulz]

This is not a reality.

[Dax Shepard]

Wait, give me one second.

[Andrew Schulz]

Yeah, go, go Go, go.

[Dax Shepard]

They're hearing that. They're going, fuck, I'm going to go to school. And every white dude's going to think they can come up to me and do their Latino accent. That's a portion.

[Andrew Schulz]

You know I speak Spanish, right?

[Dax Shepard]

I believe it. I'm not against you. I'm trying to point the two options. One is that I can definitely see how that's going to happen. Yeah. And then I can also see that tons of Latinos and Latinos are going to love it. Now, my point is it's okay if a ton love it and a ton don't like it. It's not being forced. They're not showing it at school or movies. Just don't watch that thing. Allow the people that like it to like it.

[Andrew Schulz]

People are allowed to not like things. I think the big issue with comedy right now is this idea that people aren't allowed to be offended or aren't allowed to feel uncomfortable. You can react however you want to react to anything.

[Monica Padman]

Yeah.

[Andrew Schulz]

You're entitled to your reaction. If you find it funny, that's great. If you don't find it funny, that's also great. If you feel uncomfortable and offended by it, that's great. And on a person to person interaction, like, if I'm saying something and I'm teasing you about being a cheerleader or whatever, and you go, go, hey, that was like a really uncomfortable time in my life. I don't want you to tell me more cheerleading jokes. You know what I'll never do with you is another cheerleading joke. I will continue to tell cheerleading jokes globally. Globally. But to you, yeah, it's being an essentially.

[Monica Padman]

I hear you. Look, I find this all extremely complicated because I don't go anywhere.

[Dax Shepard]

You made your point and now you're out.

[Andrew Schulz]

This house is comfortable, but like.

[Dax Shepard]

But terrible.

[Andrew Schulz]

There's something about it feels as if I should be comfortable, but my shirt.

[Dax Shepard]

Is riding up, my pants are riding, fins are bouncing.

[Andrew Schulz]

Yeah. Like the hell is going on?

[Monica Padman]

It's our second couch, too. We cannot get it right.

[Andrew Schulz]

You're doing great.

[Dax Shepard]

No, everything is first couch either.

[Andrew Schulz]

You're doing perfect. Okay, tell me, tell me.

[Monica Padman]

So I did grow up in suburban America. Duluth, Georgia Southern. And look, there's no Indian jokes in that show.

[Dax Shepard]

You made it out all right.

[Monica Padman]

But I'm watching it like you watch the Golden Globes and you know Nikki Glaser is going to do a joke about you, and you're watching it like, when's it going to hit? When's it going to hit? And you know, it doesn't. But I do feel a lot of empathy. Okay, let's take it out of race. But the end of your special, which, by the way, I thought your special was hilarious. I cried.

[Andrew Schulz]

Oh, thank you.

[Dax Shepard]

At the baby part. I did, yeah.

[Monica Padman]

And I also have frozen my eggs.

[Andrew Schulz]

Oh, wow.

[Monica Padman]

It was beautifully done.

[Andrew Schulz]

Thank you so much.

[Monica Padman]

And then at the end, I was like, why? There's an entire piece at the very end about special needs. And your fans will probably be mad that I even said special needs. And I'm not gonna say you don't.

[Andrew Schulz]

Feel comfortable saying, I don't feel comfortable. That's fine. You don't have to say it. I can say it. Cause it's my embr.

[Monica Padman]

Sure, sure.

[Andrew Schulz]

If I have retarded embryos, yeah. I can call them whatever I want. They're mine.

[Dax Shepard]

This is my argument about molesting jokes. People yell at me. I'm like, no, no. I went through it.

[Andrew Schulz]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. If I have one, I got this.

[Dax Shepard]

I can make a fucking Boy Scout joke.

[Monica Padman]

But you don't have a kid that is special needs.

[Andrew Schulz]

Yeah, that's true. That is true.

[Monica Padman]

My point is, if you're taking your daughter to school, which you will, and it'll be beautiful and wonderful and there are going to be kids there that have special needs and their parents are going to be there and they will probably have seen it, because I'm sure it's going to do amazingly well.

[Andrew Schulz]

Hopefully that'd be great. If people.

[Monica Padman]

And I just wonder, will you care? Yeah. Will it bother you?

[Andrew Schulz]

Well, it depends how they feel about it. If they see it and they're like, hey, that really, like, hurt me and made me feel really uncomfortable. Then in that personal interaction, I'll feel bad that somebody was hurt by it. A person.

[Monica Padman]

Right. But you won't be like, oh, fuck, maybe I shouldn't do that.

[Andrew Schulz]

Again, I don't feel bad about people telling me to feel bad on behalf of people that we don't even know if they feel bad.

[Monica Padman]

I hear that.

[Andrew Schulz]

It's like Latinx.

[Dax Shepard]

You're apologizing to advocates a lot.

[Andrew Schulz]

I never apologize, but no, I'm just.

[Dax Shepard]

Saying feel like, who am I apologizing to?

[Andrew Schulz]

I'm not going to apologize to some white guy from Maine who's like, we have to call Mexicans Latin X. And then I asked my Mexican friends and I'm like, yo, what's up with this Latinx? They're like, is that a movie? Like, they have no clue what that is. They hate it because they know, it's.

[Dax Shepard]

White people projecting, pandering, and advocating for them, and they didn't ask.

[Andrew Schulz]

It's white people going, look how good I am.

[Monica Padman]

Yeah.

[Andrew Schulz]

And you're using minorities to feel good about yourself. Don't use them. Why don't you have a conversation with them? Why don't you befriend them and see what they actually care about instead of sitting in some, like, Ivy League institution and going, how can we get more pats on the back?

[Monica Padman]

I 100% agree with you.

[Andrew Schulz]

Yeah. Now we can get into, like, a political.

[Monica Padman]

When I'm watching that and everyone's laughing, it is so clear. Yes. People want to be able to laugh at things that are funny. They do not like being told they can't laugh at it or that it's not funny when that's.

[Dax Shepard]

They know it's funny.

[Monica Padman]

Yeah. And I get it. And that's why we're here, and that's why we have Trump. And I get it.

[Andrew Schulz]

We tried really hard to have Democratic representation on the pod around the election. Mark Cuban was the only guy who came on. Buttigieg said he was going to come on. Then he's like, I have to do debate prep, which I give him. And then we tried to get Waltz. And then he got into his little saying. He did things he didn't do.

[Dax Shepard]

What do you do?

[Monica Padman]

Yeah, I don't even.

[Andrew Schulz]

He was like, I was at the Civil War. I was at the Battle of Gettysburg. We're like, no, you weren't. And he was like, no, I was flying one of the planes during Pearl Harbor. Like, he just kept on saying shit that he didn't do. And then you just can't.

[Monica Padman]

A lot of people. Well, yeah, I mean, I think at this point, they're all, are you gonna.

[Andrew Schulz]

Defend him saying that he was in Tiananmen Square?

[Monica Padman]

No, I'm not.

[Andrew Schulz]

Are you gonna sit on the pod right now? I'm telling you, this is where the Dems lose.

[Monica Padman]

No.

[Andrew Schulz]

They can't just be like, that was dumb.

[Monica Padman]

It was.

[Andrew Schulz]

But remember when Elon gave his heart out? Yeah, it was dumb.

[Monica Padman]

Exactly.

[Andrew Schulz]

And if the Republicans do the same shit the Democrats did for the last four years, where they go, oh, you're exaggerating. What the hell is wrong with you? We're right back in the same fucking place. You did some goofy shit. That was goofy. And we move on. You gaslight me.

[Monica Padman]

You're saying that on behalf of Republicans. But the Republicans, I know, which are many from home, they are defending everything Trump does, which is insanity.

[Andrew Schulz]

But I'm not saying on behalf of. Of Republicans. I'm saying on behalf of me. Andrew Schultz. This is my.

[Monica Padman]

You're saying the Dems. And I'm just saying in general, I think they're.

[Andrew Schulz]

Because we were talking about Republicans and I'm saying Democrats. We tried to get a bunch of Dems on the pod, and I think that they were a little bit hesitant. I think you saw the Kamala interviews were a little bit more scripted.

[Monica Padman]

Definitely.

[Andrew Schulz]

And this is the burden of being the progressive party. You have to push for progress. We don't get here without progress. Keep in mind, I'm from an arts family in New York City.

[Monica Padman]

Exactly. Yes.

[Andrew Schulz]

I grew up Democrat, super liberal. My father went to csb. I think what happened is the party of progress has to keep seeking more progress, as it should. The burden of the party progress is alienating the groups that you're trying to create more equity, opportunity, and equal treatment. You can't really sit down on a pod and shoot the shit like you would without the cameras rolling when in your mind you're going fuck. If I don't acknowledge these pronouns, then this group is going to be upset. And if I could dissect a little bit more, the major criticism I would have, and I think the thing is really difficult is I was a big Bernie guy. Despite maybe not agreeing with him on economic policy. I agreed that he wanted to help. I like people that want to help. I might not agree with AOC on economic policy. That chick wants to help.

[Monica Padman]

Yeah, big time.

[Andrew Schulz]

And that's why her district voted for her and Trump. So these are the things that we got to key into, and people need help. You don't celebrate Luigi Mangione shooting that guy if you don't need help. So for me, when I'm seeing that, I go, the Dems are kind of shackled to identity politics because they're afraid of making it what it really should be, which is a class war, which Bernie did and got all the support. He's like, these billionaires, they're taking all your money. You guys need to get paid more. We need to make sure that these jobs are secure. We need to tax these so that money can trickle down to the rest of you. And all of us saw that and we're like, who the fuck is this guy? This guy's awesome. I think there are people in the Democratic Party that were like, hey, those billionaires give us a lot of money. This is interesting parallel. We gotta get rid of this guy. So I think Bernie Sanders got a problem, and they're called the Bernie Bros. And the Bernie Bros are sexist and they're bigoted and they're racist. To me, they play the exact same handbook with the manosphere pods. Oh, these guys are sexist and they're bigot and they're racist. And it's just like, no, you're too scared to call out the real thing that Americans need help with, which is billion dollar corporations and these fucking trillionaire human beings that seemingly do not care about the working class people once they get back into working class. How do we put money in their pockets? How do we make eggs cheap? And stop worrying about the identity politics. I think Democrats. See you later. If I can't afford eggs, I can't care about the bathrooms. I need eggs. My daughter e. The amount of eggs this girl eats. Eggs and blueberries is all they eat. If the Democrats said right now we're going to make blueberries free and eggs free. I don't even say the word Republican again in my life.

[Monica Padman]

If Democrats said eggs are going to be free and blueberries are going to be free, the Republicans aren't still going to push the identity politics side. I mean, it's still going to be there. The Democratic Party is not going to say we actively don't care.

[Dax Shepard]

We've already had this debate. I want to know if you and I agree. I think a lot of of the left is viewing this under the lens that he won. And I think that's the wrong lens. The correct lens is we lost. We did not offer something appealing enough to vote for. Our side did not offer a platform that the majority of Americans wanted to vote for. Forget about him.

[Andrew Schulz]

People try to give the pods credit for Trump's right, Right, right. And I'd literally say we did nothing. Maybe what we did is made people feel more comfortable, comfortable saying what they were going to vote for out loud.

[Monica Padman]

But they were almost 100%.

[Andrew Schulz]

Remember when Biden won, it wasn't because people were voting for Biden. It was a rejection of Trump and the temperature. It was just exhausting. Everything was a fight. Every single day. They're like, yo, we just need to return to normal.

[Dax Shepard]

Exactly. They rejected him and then they rejected us.

[Andrew Schulz]

So now this election, in my opinion, yes, he's incredibly popular and there are people that love him without a doubt. I'm not undermining that, but I think.

[Dax Shepard]

That'S like 30% sure.

[Monica Padman]

It is a small.

[Andrew Schulz]

This was a rejection of the institution in power and the Democrats were in power and it was a rejection of what people thought were the most important things to that party. Now, there could have been way more important things, but if they're not communicated in a way where we can digest.

[Monica Padman]

The problem, I'm really asking what is a good way to send that message?

[Andrew Schulz]

What message do you want to send?

[Dax Shepard]

Well, I think there's a huge dissonance between what the official party is and what all the members of the party I talk you are. Stay tuned for more armchair Expert if you dare. We are supported by Tropical Smoothie Cafe. Unwind and refresh at Tropical Smoothie Cafe with freshly made smoothies and tropic bowls that instantly transport you to tropic time. One bite or one sip and you'll instantly feel like you're cabana aside. Made with refreshing fruit and tropical flavors. Eating your fruit and veggies has never been this fun.

[Monica Padman]

We could make our own armchair Tropic Thyme smoothie. And it could have cherries in it.

[Dax Shepard]

Oh, oh. It could taste like our favorite ice cream with cherries.

[Monica Padman]

Oh yeah. So we would add cherries, maybe almond. Let's add some spinach in there for.

[Dax Shepard]

A little spring in your step.

[Monica Padman]

Yes.

[Dax Shepard]

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[Andrew Schulz]

Really.

[Dax Shepard]

I've talked to no, I have Republican friends, but I live in Los Angeles and I'm in show business. But I am talking with liberals non stop. And when the topic of should trans women compete in the Olympics? None of them think that, but that is the official message of the party. Is it? It kind of is.

[Monica Padman]

I have to push back. I actually don't think it is, but I think that is what gets brought up all the time when there is debate.

[Dax Shepard]

Right. So we see the right is so fueled by it, why can't we stand up and go? We don't think that's a good idea either. No one's allowed to do that.

[Andrew Schulz]

So this is a good discussion. I agree with you. Where I don't think that's the official platform of the party. But to what we were saying earlier, the fear of ostracizing a group, they will not remove themselves from it. And I think that what the Republicans have done really well is painted them with the most extreme beliefs of the party. And I think Democrats have done that well to Republicans too. I think this is a political process, unfortunately. The only problem is it seems like Americans are more comfortable with the most extreme version of Republicans right now than they are with the most extreme version of Democrats.

[Monica Padman]

I know, which I think is so interesting because the person running was the most extreme version of the Republican Party. Trump is.

[Andrew Schulz]

Trump is. Yeah.

[Monica Padman]

And Biden comma they're not extremely far left.

[Andrew Schulz]

No, they're quite centrist. But they just won't go out there and be like, there's not 67 genders. They won't go out there and say that trans women shouldn't compete. And also that trans discussion is even more nuanced. Like there's a thing that people don't say which is should they compete against women? Women or whatever you Want to call women now?

[Dax Shepard]

CIS women.

[Andrew Schulz]

CIS women. Yeah. No. But we can also say it sucks for them. That is so unfortunate that you're in that situation.

[Dax Shepard]

Let's make a category. I actually am supportive of their right to compet compete, and I acknowledge that they're a woman. I want that right for them, but not at the expense of 20 other people.

[Andrew Schulz]

I agree. And I feel like a lot of times in the discourse, there's not even room on Twitter for the little bit of empathy in the middle. So it seems so rigid and harsh. And we're getting things in 180 characters or whatever the character limit is. There's room to be like, man, it sucks. Is that person. Because I do believe that there are trends with things. So I think that there are some young kids that are probably identifying as trans that might not actually be not only trans. I think that happens with a lot of different.

[Dax Shepard]

Oh, yeah, you're trying on some stuff.

[Andrew Schulz]

And then there are people who. Who are trans.

[Monica Padman]

Exactly.

[Andrew Schulz]

And if my guess is that competing in the Olympics is not Even the top 100 of the things that those.

[Monica Padman]

People care about, I agree. Yeah, yeah, yeah. They do not.

[Dax Shepard]

Well, we're talking about three or four athletes on the planet that are going to want to do this, and now.

[Andrew Schulz]

They'Re the talking point of every show. And they're just out here going, I'm just trying to be a barista at this thing. And everybody who comes up wants to ask me if I should be a swimmer. And you're like, I don't give a fuck about swimming. Swimming.

[Monica Padman]

That's the problem is I think the Republicans have used that as a Trojan horse effectively.

[Dax Shepard]

My issue is, we're not fighting back.

[Andrew Schulz]

No, you're not.

[Dax Shepard]

We gave it to them on a silver. I don't want to kiss them. No one on the left will stand.

[Andrew Schulz]

Up playing prevent defense. And what you need is Americans inherently identify as brave, and we like to take risk. Anything that looks risky is exciting for us. I actually think there's some biological component to that. Every one of our family members that came here, we're the craziest.

[Dax Shepard]

Yes.

[Andrew Schulz]

We're the people that left.

[Dax Shepard]

Our pole is 10x of Japan.

[Andrew Schulz]

I love that.

[Dax Shepard]

I want to be happy.

[Andrew Schulz]

Happy. And then I'll deal with the sad. Sad. So knowing that, I think we want to see some bravery in the Democratic Party. I want to see some congressman that goes, hey, housing is a problem. I don't give a fuck about these developers. We're taking that land right there. We're building 10,000 affordable housing units. That's happening this year. These developers are going to try to say, oh, we've had that and we actually have a plan for this in the future. We're like, no, sorry, it's. It is what it is. In the same way that Trump goes, we're taking Greenland. But make it about helping and class. Make it about money. Stop making about these other issues the majority of Americans don't really care about right now.

[Monica Padman]

Yeah. And a lot of them don't have the luxury of caring.

[Andrew Schulz]

It is a privilege to care about other people's shit.

[Monica Padman]

100% agree.

[Dax Shepard]

And to have a party that actively shames those people for not caring is not the way forward.

[Monica Padman]

But it is also the party that's trying to help those people. Maybe that just needs to be more explicit. Explicit that we are the party that is going to lower the price of eggs or slash. The reason that they're expensive is because of Bird. I mean, the price of eggs currently is $20 and you can't even find them. It obviously has nothing to do with politics that the eggs are expensive. Maybe they just need to fucking say that.

[Dax Shepard]

Subsidize them.

[Andrew Schulz]

We do it with everything else we do with corn. We do it with cheese.

[Dax Shepard]

Subsidize all these big companies.

[Andrew Schulz]

Yeah. Walmart. I'm paying half their fucking staff. So somebody paid for my eggs. I'm just saying, present the ide. Hope we like abundance Democrats. You got to sell me on abundance. That's what Americans want. I want an abundance of eggs. Every American family forgets 48 eggs a week.

[Monica Padman]

But then what about with the stimulus checks? That's abundance. And then everyone was mad about that.

[Andrew Schulz]

Nobody was mad about that. Who?

[Monica Padman]

You thought it was a bad idea?

[Dax Shepard]

Rich people. I didn't. Rich people don't mind at all. Like Trump is. I want to be on record.

[Monica Padman]

Biden did stimulus check.

[Andrew Schulz]

I was a Trump stimmy.

[Monica Padman]

Oh, God.

[Andrew Schulz]

Was it not the Trump stimmy?

[Monica Padman]

No, he kept those checks going and going.

[Andrew Schulz]

Trump put his name on the ch. When the check first hit the lower income neighborhoods, they were like, oh, Trump gave me 1200.

[Dax Shepard]

Yes. He took office. So he had stimulus. Both parties did it.

[Monica Padman]

Biden kept it going for a long time. And then people were like, why is he still doing this? And he's using all the money.

[Andrew Schulz]

Rich people were worried about inflation because inflation affects rich people. I'm not saying more, but it affects the amount of buying power they have. So when they have 20 million in the bank and they're seeing inflation go up 25%. They're like, wait, I got 15 million, I lost $5 million. They're upset poor people. They just see another 1200 hit and they go, I'm rich. When the Republicans said with the Doge thing, which I think is being handled poorly, but they're like, with the savings from Doge, we think that we'll give $5,000 back to every American. They're not going to do that. But the second that hit the headline, people were like, doge is incredible.

[Monica Padman]

That's sad to me. They're not going to get it.

[Dax Shepard]

We're in the weeds on every single policy.

[Andrew Schulz]

Now I'm probably communicating this poorly. I'm acting as if I'm trying to just justify policy. I'm not talking about policy, I'm talking about emotional reaction to stimulus. It's really important to understand how Americans emotionally react to the things that you're telling us. I think Democrats right now, it's like, we know better. We'll take care of you.

[Dax Shepard]

The elitism is an issue on the left.

[Andrew Schulz]

Get them out. I need working class aoc. I need that. There was this guy fucking trolling me. He's some Kennedy Nepo baby, Jack Schlossberg, he's like jfk, his grandson or something, and he's like talking all this shit. He got upset at me because I said I didn't know. A guy who identifies as a Democrat is over 5 9, which was very hurtful because I think their insecurities, the perception, is a lack of masculinity. And I think that kind of hurt. I'm just busting balls with Charlemagne on the pod. Charlamagne's 57 and he's a Democrat. Like, I'm teasing, my friend.

[Monica Padman]

Yeah.

[Dax Shepard]

Is he five seven on a good day?

[Andrew Schulz]

Yeah. Yeah. But the point is, the face of the party should not be like a fourth generation trust fund Nepo baby who's never had a real job telling working.

[Dax Shepard]

Class Americans friends that weren't white and also rich.

[Andrew Schulz]

This can't be the Democrats Democrat party.

[Monica Padman]

But that is the face of the Republican Party. And it worked.

[Andrew Schulz]

It's a great point. Here's the difference, and this is what people do not like to acknowledge. Trump doesn't sound rich when he talks, he sounds poor.

[Monica Padman]

Yeah, I guess you're really right.

[Andrew Schulz]

He talks like he's from the neighborhood. They asked him today, and what happens if Russia does not do the ceasefire? She goes, what if. What if that happened? He goes, what if what? What if someone drops a bomb and it blows up on Your head?

[Dax Shepard]

Nope.

[Andrew Schulz]

That's how Frank from the neighborhood would answ question. So he communicates in a way that is super relatable to those people, despite his life not being at all relatable.

[Dax Shepard]

I often play out the scenario when I go on other podcasts and I know they're very right leaning and I think they all think I'm super duper liberal.

[Andrew Schulz]

I never thought that was your perspective.

[Monica Padman]

Well, it's not.

[Dax Shepard]

It's not. I'm a centrist. I'm a pragmatist. Both sides have good ideas. Both sides have terrible ideas for the listener. I got a big cover. I have imaginary debates on these podcasts that never happen. There are many policies on the right I agree with. I don't have a boner for a guy who fucking grew up and got handed a billion dollars. Yeah, if I told you, you're gonna love my friend Mike, dude. His fucking dad gave him a billion dollars and he doesn't pay the contractors that do his shit. If I describe that guy to you, you'd be like, this guy's a fucking asshole.

[Andrew Schulz]

Yeah.

[Dax Shepard]

So I don't have a boner for that guy. I don't understand the boner for the guy.

[Andrew Schulz]

I think the assumption is the boner for him is that he's this real estate guru.

[Dax Shepard]

No, I don't think that's the boner. The boner is I'm so fucking sick of being told how I have to act and behave all the time. And this guy is telling me, no, I can say what I fucking want to say. And I'm not going to disappear and get erased over it.

[Andrew Schulz]

Make me feel seen. Everybody wants to feel seen. They want to feel hurt.

[Dax Shepard]

Yeah, yeah. So I get it. I also acknowledge. Talk about the elitism. It's like we made a very specific choice at a very specific time under Click Clinton, where we said, we're going to have a brain economy. That was a good theory. Let's not rely on manufacturing. Let's get everyone smart. Let's be in finance, let's be in technology. We pivoted. We made a lot of policy decisions, NAFTA being one of them.

[Andrew Schulz]

Clinton was the first doge. He fired 300,000 government workers, but the.

[Dax Shepard]

Result of which was, guess what? 20% of the population didn't go into the brain economy. All these young men, they didn't get a place in this new economy. And we need to fucking acknowledge that. And that is part of this. They wouldn't even articulate what the elite elitism is, but it's that that's great. You guys are all went to college and you're all making all this money in finance and tech and all this. There's no fudgeing jobs for me. There's no assembly line for me anymore. This party who made this decision completely abandoned 20% of the country which is these young men. And that's a dangerous fucking group to disenfranchised.

[Andrew Schulz]

Yeah, I agree.

[Dax Shepard]

So that's a big, big problem.

[Andrew Schulz]

How do we look out for them?

[Dax Shepard]

Well that's what I'm saying. The left has to be about the left, unions, manufacturing the stuff that's always been part of the left.

[Monica Padman]

But I do think Hillary was like we got to retrain. This is an issue. There's so that don't have jobs, but those jobs aren't coming back.

[Andrew Schulz]

There is nobody less risk averse than Hillary. She might have been an incredible. I don't know because she didn't become president. But I'm telling you, just the emotional perception of her, it doesn't feel like there would be the change that people need.

[Dax Shepard]

She felt like status quo.

[Andrew Schulz]

Exactly. And I think that that's what people reject her.

[Monica Padman]

I do.

[Andrew Schulz]

You love her.

[Dax Shepard]

I think she is the most competent person that probably could ever had that job. She was an incredible Secretary of State. She's been in every angle of this system and she's incredibly smart and she has handled one of the most hard to handle human beings imagined imaginable. Bill. Yes. As a husband.

[Andrew Schulz]

I think you're infantilizing Bill a bit.

[Dax Shepard]

Say more.

[Andrew Schulz]

She's handled him. You mean the President? The guy who was able to do it. One of the greatest communicators in history.

[Dax Shepard]

The guy who was uber charismatic, unbelievable, very powerful and she could work with that system.

[Andrew Schulz]

Yeah.

[Dax Shepard]

And still exist and be equal. And that's a skill set.

[Monica Padman]

That is a skill set. It's not that easy to do.

[Andrew Schulz]

I don't know. Again, I don't know.

[Dax Shepard]

I think a lot of women would have gotten run over by a guy like Bill and that did not happen to her. She's an incredibly strong, determined, smart.

[Andrew Schulz]

I'm not saying that she's not intelligent or determined. Obviously she's very ambitious 100%.

[Monica Padman]

You're just saying she turned people off.

[Dax Shepard]

Yeah.

[Andrew Schulz]

And I think it's important if we don't acknowledge that. No. She did obviously even like me coming in here. There are things that I probably said that had turned you off or other people off. I can't be like, cuz you guys are wrong. I'm doing Something that makes you feel that way. I mean, it's easy for me to chalk it up to, oh, a headline is positioned in this way. But at the same time, I either have to accept that I will have what I say kind of manipulated to fit a narrative, and people will think a certain way about me, and that's what I take and I get in bed with so that I can do comedy the way that I want to do it, not to make it about me.

[Dax Shepard]

No, no, no.

[Monica Padman]

You're our guest.

[Andrew Schulz]

I'm just giving an example of. I have to live with that. For me, I think the best version of America is when we have two really awesome, competent people running. It's a really difficult choice that I'm really excited for. But in order for us to do it, both sides have to listen to what the American people actually want, and we need a process that lets those people flourish.

[Dax Shepard]

Okay, can we.

[Monica Padman]

Sorry, I have one more question.

[Andrew Schulz]

Go, go, go, go, go.

[Dax Shepard]

Last political thing. It's not.

[Andrew Schulz]

Are we in a rush? I don't know how long you guys go.

[Dax Shepard]

There's other things I want to get to other than your political leanings.

[Monica Padman]

Okay.

[Andrew Schulz]

It is fun, right? Because we're passionate about it. I think it's important for you to hear a perspective like mine because it forms your opinions more. You're like, oh, wow. They don't see it like that. I love having conversations with people that I might disagree on something.

[Monica Padman]

Yeah.

[Andrew Schulz]

Because my opinions get sharper. I'm like, oh, I'm hitting this too bluntly, and I'm ostracizing all these people. I. The trans athlete thing, I didn't have space for how much it must suck to be a trans person. And not having anywhere to go and just acknowledging that makes my opinion way more digestible.

[Dax Shepard]

I use my wife. I don't even know that I use her that way, but I hit her with things, and she goes, you have a really great point, but you need to soften it in this way. What you're saying is scary. You have to acknowledge you care about these people first.

[Andrew Schulz]

Yes.

[Monica Padman]

I mean, it circles back to exactly what you were just saying about how the Democrats need to position themselves. It's packaging. And you have to say, you care about this and this all the same, same thing. It's how to communicate effectively. But also, do you worry? Because you seem like you want peace. Essentially. This is like Chappelle's thing where he heard the laugh when they were doing the sketch, and he was like, oh, they don't get it. That Laugh is filled with hatred. I gotta pivot. And I wonder, when you look at the crowd and they're laughing at a joke, that is nuanced. You're smart and you've thought it through.

[Andrew Schulz]

I'm smart, but.

[Monica Padman]

Yeah, well, clearly you are. And it's nuanced.

[Dax Shepard]

You're also handsome and, dude, you better stop it.

[Monica Padman]

Do you ever worry I'm contributing to this silo? Because a lot of people do not understand nuance.

[Andrew Schulz]

I don't worry about it a single bit because I think that people have the responsibility for their own actions. So there are going to be people that laugh at a joke because they appreciate the nuance. They're going to be people that laugh.

[Dax Shepard]

At the joke because they're fucking racist.

[Andrew Schulz]

Yeah, they might be racist.

[Monica Padman]

There are.

[Dax Shepard]

You can't be a different person because of that. I defend Stern that way for years. It's like a lot of people aren't in on his thing. Stern, but that's on them. He can't be a different person to cater to the dumbest person and worry about. But he has to be who he is now.

[Andrew Schulz]

You're not creating for. You want to create for me.

[Monica Padman]

Did evolve, I think, because of that.

[Andrew Schulz]

But you're also allowed to evolve. That's the beautiful thing, too, is I try to take time off in between every special or tour specifically, so I can reflect on the change in my life. I don't have this special. I mean, if anybody's listening still right now, they probably think the special is making fun of Latinos. And it's this. With my sperm not working and it being really difficult for my wife and I to get pregnant. And this story of this journey that led us to ivf. My point is, you need to be able to reflect on what's going on in your life. At least for me, creatively. But what I try to do is when I'm in creative mode, I don't listen to any criticism. I don't listen to any other comedians. I want to create authentically as I can because that's the most pure version of who I am right now. And then how the world interprets that is really up to what they care about.

[Dax Shepard]

It's almost none of your business.

[Andrew Schulz]

It kind of is. Selfishly, I want things to be successful. Of course, I'm ambitious and competitive at the same time. If there's a cultural necessity for the thing that I'm talking about, be really successful. If there isn't, it will be less successful. But it's the thing that matters to me right now. And if I start worrying about what all these different people are thinking, I won't do it. Authentically pure. And I know my heart is good. I know I don't have hatred for people. And if I did, it wouldn't be funny. It would be angry. And I've written jokes that were angry, and they don't work. It makes people feel uncomfortable.

[Monica Padman]

Especially if you've been on the opposite end of any of these jokes ever. You can tell the difference between when there's hatred underneath it.

[Andrew Schulz]

Yeah.

[Monica Padman]

And when there's not. When I watched, I was texting my friend about this, and I was like, there's no hatred there. I can really, really feel that. There are other really popular standups that people love that I'm like.

[Andrew Schulz]

I think that innately we can sense it, because I've even sensed it. You know, there's times there's comedians that do jokes about white people that are so funny. My introduction to comedy is Eddie Murphy. Def Comedy Jam, Kings of comedy. So many white jokes, they're funny. We got to be able to laugh at ourselves.

[Dax Shepard]

We're so fucking dorky, dude.

[Andrew Schulz]

The Phil Jackson walk that he's doing this Scotty Phil Jackson, the coach of the Chicago. Okay, that's pure sexism right there.

[Monica Padman]

No, it's fine. It's fine.

[Andrew Schulz]

That was pure sexism.

[Dax Shepard]

You should know that we love the last dance. You don't know many other coaches.

[Andrew Schulz]

That's fair enough. To me, I just never felt any, like, mouse or hatred then. I have seen certain people that they make white jokes, for example, and I'm like, oh, wow, you really just don't like white people. Yeah. And what is interesting about it is it's not as funny when they lock.

[Dax Shepard]

Onto a truth that we all feel. But when you have hatred, I don't have that hatred, so I can't really connect to that.

[Andrew Schulz]

And maybe there's some love in it. Ideally, I'm pointing out really specific things.

[Dax Shepard]

I've observed you, I've seen you, I've paid attention. I'm interested in you, and I know this about you.

[Andrew Schulz]

Yeah. Like, I love.

[Dax Shepard]

There's something very complimentary.

[Andrew Schulz]

This my gift. I'm going to the show. You don't expect me to talk about you and the things in your local community run.

[Dax Shepard]

When you're here in la, you would think you lived in la. You would have to live in LA to know all of those tiny things. And the Armenians in the audience fudgeing, loved it.

[Andrew Schulz]

Some online were upset, and it was interesting to see Some online were defending it. They were like, he was just doing this to all of us. Everybody got it. It's all good. And that's okay. The people upset can be upset about it.

[Dax Shepard]

That's a good segue for me. So I understand fully how you're at peace. In fact, to go behind the curtain when I did your show, I just like you a ton.

[Andrew Schulz]

Respect feeling is mutual.

[Dax Shepard]

And I've gotten some flack for liking you. Right? Yep.

[Andrew Schulz]

Sure.

[Dax Shepard]

You have some war with Kimmel, which is unfortunate. I'm like, we love J so much, but you guys had some battle. But let's not get bogged down in that one.

[Andrew Schulz]

Jimmy, I love you. Because Jimmy's close to Charlemagne too, and he's close to Matt. He was doing this back and forth with Aaron Rodgers, and I felt like he started with jokes, and then Aaron had a joke. And then I think Jimmy got some real life circumstances that affected him. I think he got some death threats and that kind of shit.

[Dax Shepard]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Well, there's signs up around L. A. These wackos.

[Andrew Schulz]

There's a lot of crazy people out there. Then he made it not about jokes. I was like, yo, you opened the door with jokes. He responded with jokes. And then you were like, what you're doing is dangerous. And Jimmy's always someone who I've looked at and admired. He had his iconic TV shows, comedy history, edgy shit. That, to me, I felt little let down. You clown this guy on national TV on one of the biggest shows. He clipped you back to me. I'm like, that doesn't seem fair.

[Monica Padman]

Like a Drake Kendrick thing. Which, hold on.

[Dax Shepard]

This is what I'm leaning to. So, yeah, you got the Kimmel thing. I'm like, it's a bummer. I'm still going to be out loud liking you. Hopefully he doesn't think it's a betrayal.

[Andrew Schulz]

Don't feel that way, Jimmy. About anybody.

[Monica Padman]

I hope you know Jimmy is our favorite person.

[Andrew Schulz]

Everybody I've ever met says that he's the best. Obviously, we haven't connected with one another, but please don't be upset.

[Dax Shepard]

Maybe this will be the elevant. Okay, so this is behind the scenes. So I do your show. It's great. We hang out afterwards. It was so fun. You guys were so, so nice to me.

[Andrew Schulz]

You're a great storyteller.

[Dax Shepard]

Pre battle of me getting called a snowflake, none of that happened. So then we walk off of your show and we're just hanging for a minute, and then I go, man, you really lost Kristen I had Kristin on board. She was on the Andrew Scholz fucking train. And then this joke about abortion. You lost her. Yeah.

[Andrew Schulz]

It wasn't a good jo. Really?

[Dax Shepard]

Well, you can't lose Kristen.

[Andrew Schulz]

It was like a mathematical equation.

[Dax Shepard]

It just didn't feel good when they heard it.

[Andrew Schulz]

Didn't have the silliness of a joke.

[Dax Shepard]

And it smelled like slut shaming a little bit O.

[Andrew Schulz]

Interesting. I could see that. I didn't mean it.

[Dax Shepard]

I don't think you did.

[Andrew Schulz]

That's something I'm learning. It's not worth explaining what you meant cuz what you said hurt people. I'm learning that with my wife. I can acknowledge that what I said hurt your feelings. If you later want to understand where I'm coming from, I'll give you that. But you don't want me to explain away your feelings right now, right? You just want me to acknowledge that something I said made you feel.

[Dax Shepard]

I did it to my daughter this morning. I've been feeling terrible ever since.

[Andrew Schulz]

What happened?

[Dax Shepard]

I woke her up. If she ends up being late and rushed, it's a full meltdown. We can't get her to school at that point. It's just so much so I got to get her up on time. Go to get her up on time. She's turning into a teenager. She turns 12 this month and so I'm like, let's go, baby. And she's like, no, she slammed the door and I opened it back up. I go, you got to get up. She slammed it again. I opened. I'm leaving this door open and the light's gonna get. You know. And then she later sent me an email from school saying, I'm so sorry. I was so mean. And I'm like, oh, my God, don't worry. I love you, baby. I'm sorry I was so abrupt and blah, blah, blah. I hope you know I'm just trying to prevent you from having a really rough morning. Sent it. And all day I'm like, just say sorry.

[Monica Padman]

Yeah.

[Andrew Schulz]

You don't need to explain.

[Dax Shepard]

I didn't need to say. I'm trying to provide.

[Andrew Schulz]

We want to be heroes. We want to be a good guy.

[Dax Shepard]

Ever think I have a bad intention? Dude, this is your life.

[Andrew Schulz]

Yeah. It's like I do something that might prick you. My intention is not to prick you. I'm concerned that you're gonna think I'm the type of person that wants to hurt you.

[Dax Shepard]

Yes.

[Andrew Schulz]

Or prick you like with your daughter. And you're just like, I just need you to know that I just love you and I want to protect you and I want to care for you. And now we're explaining instead of just acknowledging feelings because you know what? They know we love them.

[Dax Shepard]

Thank you. That's the lesson for me.

[Andrew Schulz]

We gotta have more confidence and we have this insecurity. Like every moment could change the way someone feels about us.

[Dax Shepard]

Yes.

[Monica Padman]

You mean in personal relationships?

[Dax Shepard]

Yeah.

[Andrew Schulz]

Yeah. When I mean hurt, I don't mean saying something really mean. I mean it could be looking at my phone when my wife's saying something really important.

[Dax Shepard]

You're checking scores.

[Andrew Schulz]

Exactly. I'm like, checking out. And instead of being. Well, what I was actually doing is work so I could provide for our family or some stupid. She don't want to know about that. Pay attention when she's talking or say, hey, I got to finish this thing, but I really want to hear.

[Dax Shepard]

Okay, so anyways, I've understood all your scrapes and I. I've understood where you're coming from and I understand you've accepted. Yes. Some people are going to be upset and I get all that.

[Andrew Schulz]

Should we say the thing that rubbed Chris in the wrong way?

[Monica Padman]

Yeah. Now I want.

[Andrew Schulz]

It's not that bad. That's the reason why I think it's.

[Dax Shepard]

Going to go backwards.

[Andrew Schulz]

No, no.

[Dax Shepard]

Okay, go ahead.

[Monica Padman]

Well, people are going to look for it anyway.

[Andrew Schulz]

It'll be funny. But it's not funny. But it's funny. The idea was like, how many abortions is too many in the world? No, like, for a person.

[Monica Padman]

Oh, oh.

[Andrew Schulz]

Like how many on the punch card? If it's goes to like 20, I think that there has to be an intervention where it's like, all right, we got to do something here. Now the idea is like the beginning of a joke. Making it silly is a joke.

[Dax Shepard]

I don't think you anticipated what Kristen heard.

[Andrew Schulz]

What was that?

[Dax Shepard]

Where's the guy in this scenario?

[Andrew Schulz]

So you heard her point was really good.

[Dax Shepard]

Do we start 20. Well, guess what? 20 motherfuckers knocked her up and they're not paying any price for it and they're not getting shamed and we don't have to punch their card or do anything for them. Dudes are getting off scot free.

[Andrew Schulz]

I would argue in that scenario it's not equivalent because it's 20 different dudes. But if it was the same dude, presumably.

[Dax Shepard]

See, that's where I think you could have landed this whole thing.

[Andrew Schulz]

Yes, yes. If one guy gets 20 girls pregnant, Neuter that. Like, we got to do something.

[Dax Shepard]

Right.

[Andrew Schulz]

But this is the artistry of a joke. And I gave you like the glump of clay. And it's like there might be something.

[Dax Shepard]

They didn't remove all the pieces to make it, David. It still is piece of marble.

[Andrew Schulz]

Exactly. Exactly. There's the perfect example of when there's a negative reaction. It's not like these people are fucking idiots. I even commented in it, oh, it turns out that they're not getting these late term abort. Like, I even have this caveat that I put in it later after I found the information. But it doesn't matter. People don't look at that. But that's the example of I don't ever go snowflake. The joke wasn't nuanced and sliced thin enough that even the most pro choice person in the entire world who's like, yes, 20 abortions a girl should have 40 abortions would still laugh at comedy's math.

[Monica Padman]

And it's just figuring out the equation. But it's funny because you're like, you can't offend Kristen. That's the one thing. I mean, everyone has that. Everyone has their one thing that's like, well, now you lost me.

[Dax Shepard]

She's actually a pretty good barometer for me. Why I say her in particular. I find her to be someone who is incredibly progressive and left and has not let it affect her sense of humor.

[Monica Padman]

She's my favorite person on earth, but I have to say it. She's the most beautiful, white, privileged person. She's all those things too. So she has the luxury to be able to laugh at fucking anything without being like, oh, yeah, I remember when that was me.

[Andrew Schulz]

Isn't it great?

[Monica Padman]

Not for me.

[Dax Shepard]

A white woman. A white woman's Instagram. She's also really great at laughing at when she's getting burned. Like, she gets burned a lot. And she does very well with it.

[Andrew Schulz]

That's confidence.

[Monica Padman]

She doesn't like it when she personally gets burned. And that's the difference. And it's fair. No one likes getting personally burned. But when you are in a group that's small, they feel more personal than the overall. I just got to say it.

[Dax Shepard]

She loves getting blasted by Bateman. She loves getting blasted by Ryan. She did not like getting blasted by me. That's definitely true.

[Andrew Schulz]

Fair enough.

[Dax Shepard]

But all this to say, I have seen the decisions you've made, and they've all pretty much made sense to me. And I've not been scared for you. The first time I got scared for you, truly, I like. Should I call him? Was Kendrick Lamar.

[Andrew Schulz]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Dax Shepard]

So just Tell people what happened.

[Andrew Schulz]

So he put out an album, and he had a line in it. He was like, don't ever let no white comedian talk about no black woman. That's law.

[Dax Shepard]

First of all, how do you know that's about about you?

[Andrew Schulz]

I got confirmation, put it that way. I didn't respond for weeks.

[Dax Shepard]

Okay.

[Andrew Schulz]

I had to shoot my special. I didn't really care. That wasn't even the thing that bothered me about the line. The next line is, and to the N words that coon and the N words that being groomed slide on both of them. Do you guys know what that term slide means?

[Dax Shepard]

No.

[Andrew Schulz]

So slide is like assault or kill. I'm thinking. And the world is thinking. He's talking about Charlemagne and Alex Media, the two black dudes that are on the show with me. Oh, so once you tell people to kill my friends, you get whatever I give you. Everybody's like, oh, he's such a victim. And all this. He just said whatever. Yeah, he said a stupid thing to me. You're not going to tell me who I can or can't make fun of, but you don't tell your fans to kill two of my friends or slide or assault or whatever it is, even if it's not serious. You're putting that energy out there, so don't be surprised if you get some.

[Dax Shepard]

Energy back, some heat.

[Andrew Schulz]

That's my feeling.

[Dax Shepard]

Okay. So I watch your response. What's really funny is I have actually a friend reach out that go like, oh, my God, have you seen this? So it comes to me in his version of Telephone where he explains what you did. I'm like, oh, boy.

[Andrew Schulz]

What's his version? This is so funny how this works.

[Dax Shepard]

I think he just read the reviews of what you did.

[Andrew Schulz]

They made it racism.

[Dax Shepard]

Yes, yes. This term Buck breaking. Yes, buck breaking. And I'm like, he said buck breaking. So I now got to go find this thing. So I go to your Instagram and I find it and I go, okay. A does not say buck breaking. It's pretty silly.

[Andrew Schulz]

I said, I'll make sweet love to him.

[Dax Shepard]

Right? If they were in prison together, he would make sweet.

[Andrew Schulz]

The point I'm trying to make is like, why are you talking shit? Don't tell your fans to kill my friend. Friends. Like, I think that's a pretty fair response.

[Dax Shepard]

Sure, sure.

[Andrew Schulz]

Hey. You say to your fans and kill my friends. I say, I'll make sweet love to you.

[Dax Shepard]

I saw it is about as playful as a you, I'll kick your asses could be done.

[Andrew Schulz]

That's all it's trying to be.

[Dax Shepard]

Yeah. But now I'm really worried about you because I'm like, well, he thinks that he's a rational person. Kendrick is a national treasure.

[Andrew Schulz]

Huge.

[Dax Shepard]

He's a Pulitzer Prize.

[Andrew Schulz]

Incredibly talented.

[Dax Shepard]

It or loved. And I'm going, bro, is this the fight you're gonna pick? We gotta pick our battles. Is this the one you were fine. More that.

[Andrew Schulz]

Don't talk about my friends, bro. My friends are more important to me than strangers. So it is what it is.

[Dax Shepard]

Do you worry at all?

[Andrew Schulz]

There's definitely concern because he's got some affiliation to some, like, real dudes.

[Dax Shepard]

Of course, minimally, some real dudes love him. Yeah. Even if he's not affiliated, they could think they were doing a favor to someone they love.

[Andrew Schulz]

And that's how it works.

[Dax Shepard]

He doesn't want you to get hurt.

[Andrew Schulz]

Exactly. He doesn't say of the person, go, do something. The way it works is the young dudes on the street do something, hoping that it'll curry favor with the OGs. And then I heard whispers from a lot of different people and that kind of stuff, which sucks. You don't ever want that, right? Any people who actually listen to it. My black friends who are getting death threats after the song came out, before I ever said anything, they were like, oh, yeah, this is fun. We're going to have some fun.

[Dax Shepard]

Okay. So that was one hot one. Now I want to bring up a love connection.

[Andrew Schulz]

Oh, go.

[Dax Shepard]

I've been trying to get Monica to love you for a while now. A couple years. Would you say?

[Monica Padman]

Even true.

[Andrew Schulz]

We're going to win.

[Dax Shepard]

Don't you feel like I'm always kind of, like, trying to pitch Andrew.

[Monica Padman]

The first time I heard of you, Dax sent me a thing, and I was like, oh, my God, this is so great. And then I was like, oh, I'm going to keep looking. And you were like, well, be careful. What? You be careful. I might need to curate. I might need to curate for you.

[Andrew Schulz]

If you just look at my standup, usually you're good the second you start looking at podcasts.

[Monica Padman]

So I did that this morning. I was like, oh, my God.

[Andrew Schulz]

Because the podcasts are clay and the standup is the statue. And that's something that we got to grapple with just as comedians.

[Monica Padman]

Yeah.

[Andrew Schulz]

We're talking for two hours. We're going to say some fucked up shit.

[Dax Shepard]

But let's get to the love affair. So one of my favorite things, I saw your rant on Taylor Swift and I couldn't send it to Monica fast. Enough.

[Monica Padman]

I love her.

[Dax Shepard]

As I was watching it, I think I interrupted it to send it to her.

[Andrew Schulz]

Oh, she's the Michael Jackson of our time.

[Monica Padman]

You were screen no features.

[Dax Shepard]

I think you were arguing whether Beyonce.

[Andrew Schulz]

People were upset about that, I'm sure.

[Dax Shepard]

Yeah, your right followers were probably no Beyonce Fitz.

[Andrew Schulz]

But I went to the show.

[Monica Padman]

I love Beyonce.

[Dax Shepard]

I love her.

[Andrew Schulz]

She's incredible.

[Dax Shepard]

She's from another universe.

[Andrew Schulz]

Yeah, they both are. But like I went to this Taylor show with my wife at SoFi and I went in there going, what am I doing? It's a cool cultural moment. Obviously I got to check it. And I left there going, this is the highest version of live performance. The best visual guy is working, the best light guy is working, the best choreographer. It felt like I was watching the best of the best in each of their fields and she's holding me attention.

[Dax Shepard]

Of a hundred thousand people an impossibly long time.

[Andrew Schulz]

I'm a celebrator when I experience some. I can't not talk about it. If it's fire, if I go to some hotel that's amazing. I'm telling everybody I don't believe in gatekeeping. I didn't get to go to these fancy ass hotels as a kid. So if I'm going to like Amangiri, I'm not sharing that with you on some like look at my experience. I'm going yo figure out how to get get some money and go here. This is incredible. These rich people, people are on to something and we need to infiltrate.

[Dax Shepard]

Stay tuned for more armchair expert if you dare. We are supported by Quints. Quint is one of our favorite apparel brands with luxury fabrics and finishes at affordable prices. Everyone I know is obsessed with Quince.

[Monica Padman]

Quince is amazing. I was gifted an incredible blanket from Quince from Elizabeth and Andy.

[Dax Shepard]

Oh wow.

[Monica Padman]

And it's so warm, soft and fuzzy and cute.

[Dax Shepard]

Yeah, all their fabrics are so nice. You get the best of both worlds. Killer style at prices that don't break the bank. Quint has some great wardrobe staples all at prices that are way less than similar brands. We're talking 50 to 80% less.

[Monica Padman]

This is a gift givers like Paradise. Paradise. Correct.

[Dax Shepard]

Well, that's because Quint partners directly with top factories so they cut out the cost of the middleman and they also make sure the factories they partner with use safe, ethical and responsible manufacturing practices so you can good about your purchase. Indulge in affordable luxury. Go to quint.comdax for free shipping on your order and 365 day returns. That's Q-U I N C.comdax to get free shipping and 365 day returns. Quint.comdax we are supported by Better Help. Support systems are so important the most. Some would say yeah, I have a just a slew of people I rely on on.

[Monica Padman]

Yeah, me too.

[Dax Shepard]

Tom Hansen, I'm talking to you. In a society that glorifies hyper independence, it's easy to forget that we're all better when we have a support system behind us. Therapy can be a source of support for any area of your life. It's time to shift the focus from doing it all to knowing we're better when we ask for help. I have a very hard time asking for help.

[Monica Padman]

Yeah, therapy's great. We all, I mean we can't really say it enough. We love it, swear by it. Yeah, look forward to it.

[Dax Shepard]

The best part about better help is it's fully online, which helps make therapy affordable and convenient. Serving over 5 million people worldwide. Access a diverse network of more than 30,000 credentialed therapists with a wide range of specialties and you can easily switch therapists anytime at no extra cost. Build your support system with better help. Visit betterhelp.comdax today to get 10% off your first month. That's BetterHelp. H E L p.com we are supported by ZipRecruiter. Oh, get recruiting. Monica I love our job more than anything.

[Monica Padman]

We got so lucky.

[Dax Shepard]

We did. I just show up so excited to do the thing we get to do and I couldn't be more grateful. Now if you're doing what you love to do, there's nothing better than being surrounded by people who love it as much as you. And if you own your own business, you want to hire employees who love what they do to boost the overall success of your business, plus make it a pretty great place to work. But how do you find passionate employees who are a good fit for all your roles? ZipRecruiter. And right now you can try it for [e-mail] Dax ZipRecruiter is the hiring site employers prefer the Most. Based on G2, ZipRecruiter's powerful matching technology works fast to find top talent so you don't waste time or money. Hire experienced people who are excited about what they do with ZipRecruiter. Four out of five employers who post on ZipRecruiter get a quality candidate within the first day. See for yourself. Go to this exclusive web address to try ZipRecruiter for free. Ziprecruiter.com Dax Again, that's ZipRecruiter.com Dax ZipRecruiter. The smartest way to hire.

[Andrew Schulz]

So when I saw that Taylor thing, and then it's always fun to just rile up on Brilliant Idiots. There's that part of me. It's like a little antagonistic. I know Taylor who's on the show. She's not the biggest Taylor Swift fan. The girl Taylor is on Brilliant Idiots. So I knew, just saying how they.

[Monica Padman]

Would rile her up.

[Dax Shepard]

Yeah.

[Monica Padman]

Oh, it was so funny. And we were dying laughing at that.

[Andrew Schulz]

So shout out, Taylor.

[Dax Shepard]

Okay. Life. Your new stand up special.

[Andrew Schulz]

Yes.

[Dax Shepard]

It's your second one on Netflix.

[Andrew Schulz]

I did a rant show on Netflix. It was back during the pandemic. Show says America. But that was a little different than stand up. It was more like monologue version of it.

[Dax Shepard]

Okay, so right out of the gates. I hadn't noticed this prior to this, but, you know, I've been in bed with Kutcher for 22 years. He gave me my start. Yeah, you and Ashton have an extreme, extremely similar vibe. Do people ever tell you you look like him?

[Andrew Schulz]

Okay, here's the Kutcher story. I have two Kutcher stories.

[Dax Shepard]

Oh, great.

[Andrew Schulz]

So when I was younger, I used to get that a lot. I was studying abroad in Spain. During college, I was in Barcelona. And Dove, who's sitting right there, it's my first friend in college, is also currently my manager and partner. Now everybody's just part of the team. Literally. The guy who does all our advertisements, my first friend in high school. The whole team is just the.

[Dax Shepard]

You could probably be three times bigger as a business.

[Andrew Schulz]

Way bigger, but like so much less fun. He's studying abroad in Paris. We go to visit him in Paris and then the nightclubs in Paris, I guess he explains to me there's like an old woman at the front door and she decides who gets in. Maybe it's not like that anymore, but at the time that was pretty much the case. And Doug can talk to anybody. Yesterday, the guy who directed Dune, Denis Villeneuve. But the way that he talks to people, they think they know him. So the guy's walking by the table and then Doug goes, ah, bonjour, Bonjour.

[Monica Padman]

Or whatever.

[Andrew Schulz]

And then he stops, walks over. He's like, oh, bonjour.

[Dax Shepard]

How are you?

[Andrew Schulz]

They've never met. Dove is almost like doing the Rickles thing where he's like, I'm having dinner.

[Monica Padman]

Were you guys at Sunset Tower? Yes.

[Andrew Schulz]

Were you there last night?

[Monica Padman]

I Wasn't. But one of my best friends was, and she was like, I think I saw him there last night.

[Dax Shepard]

100% sightings.

[Andrew Schulz]

So when we got some directors, we like directors. Okay. Anyway, we go up to this club and he goes, hey, Andrew, I just need you to just go over here. Trust me, everything's going to be fine. He goes, talks to the owner. They look at us and we go in, we're walking around and the owner is, like, staying with me and, like, really talking to me a lot. What's going on? What's your next project? And I go, I don't know. Just hanging out in Barcelona for a little bit. This told the owner that I was Ashton Kutcher. And we got like 10 people into this hot Parisian nightclub. And then this leaves me with the owner without telling me. So the owner thinks Ashton is studying abroad in Barcelona for the semester.

[Dax Shepard]

Eventually go back.

[Andrew Schulz]

So, yeah, there was maybe some similarity.

[Dax Shepard]

You guys might be identical heights too. Maybe very handsome. Okay. The show's wonderful. And as we already laid out a tiny bit, this special is solely about getting pregnant. Having a baby. How do you approach that?

[Andrew Schulz]

So I've never told stories and I've never been personal. I didn't think my life was very interesting. And then it was really difficult for us to get pregnant. It was the only thing I could think about. Like, I couldn't think about any political. None of it really mattered. Started talking about it on stage. The initial part was we weren't getting pregnant and I felt kind of misled. Maybe it's hard to get pregnant. Like, my whole life I've been trying to not get women pregnant. What the hell's going on? As it progressed, my wife got more and more concerned about it being her fault. I have a joke in there. I don't want, like, repeat the joke, but it's like, I also thought it was her fault. I didn't even know it could be our fault.

[Dax Shepard]

And I'm with you. Chris and I, when we decided to have a baby, she said, do you want to get your sperm count checked? And I go, why would I do that? I'm not assuming I have a problem.

[Andrew Schulz]

Go look at the.

[Dax Shepard]

She goes, how many times did you fuck without a rubber and you've never gotten anyone pregnant? And I was like, oh, we don't even think about that.

[Andrew Schulz]

No. We think we're playing, like, Russian roulette and we're just the luckiest human being on the planet.

[Monica Padman]

Yeah.

[Andrew Schulz]

So we went and got checked. And then it turned out that her ovaries were perfect and that my sperm sucks.

[Dax Shepard]

You were told specifically it's a C?

[Andrew Schulz]

Yeah, C. They were trying to be.

[Dax Shepard]

You know, it was a D. They upgraded plus.

[Andrew Schulz]

It was the plus that now I look back is so condescending. They're like, this will make them feel better. And it did. Yeah.

[Monica Padman]

Of course.

[Dax Shepard]

It'S pretty much a B.

[Monica Padman]

If you round up.

[Andrew Schulz]

If you round up, I'm a solid B.

[Dax Shepard]

And also I have the same shitty sperm. I tried in UCLA to. I read that I could make money donating sperm. There was a student there and I went in and I did the jerk off thing. And then they called and they're like, your sperm counts on a high end enough.

[Andrew Schulz]

Yes.

[Dax Shepard]

And I was like, oh, Jesus.

[Andrew Schulz]

From taking tea or anything like that.

[Dax Shepard]

No, this just when I was like 21 years old. They want you to have a big sperm count at the bank.

[Andrew Schulz]

Yeah, they're so prejudiced.

[Dax Shepard]

I was probably a C. Yeah, we.

[Andrew Schulz]

Don'T talk about that enough, huh?

[Dax Shepard]

No, I know for you they don't want anything. They value you if you have an excessive amount of sperm.

[Andrew Schulz]

So once I found out it was me, this emotionally takes a big turn. And I also feel a lot more comfortable talking about on stage.

[Monica Padman]

Oh, yeah, that makes sense.

[Andrew Schulz]

I think one of the big issues for couples that are struggling to get pregnant is the other isolation in it because you don't know who the issue is. And it's so painful for the woman, especially because most of them think it's them. No guy ever thinks it's them. Yeah, even when he told me it was me, I was like, like, I'll just put your legs up or something, you know, Like, I was like, what do we need here? It's gravity. And then I would start talking about on stage. There would be these guys that would come up to me after shows and they'd be like, hey, man, I really like that. That's pretty funny. And I was like, cool, thanks, man. He goes, yeah, no, you should keep talking about. About that. It's good stuff. And that was like their way of.

[Dax Shepard]

Going, hey, I feel less alone now.

[Monica Padman]

I needed that.

[Andrew Schulz]

I didn't know that people were struggling to get pregnant. I didn't know how many women were freezing their eggs. I didn't know that this existed because it's so taboo and to a lot of people, so embarrassing that they isolate.

[Dax Shepard]

They don't share at all and they feel deficient. Their friends are all having the babies.

[Andrew Schulz]

They don't know that their friends are also doing ivf.

[Monica Padman]

Yeah, yeah.

[Dax Shepard]

Right, right, right.

[Andrew Schulz]

What I learned through this, and maybe one of the most rewarding parts of it is when I was doing the tour, I'd start getting all these DMs, and to this day, like, I screenshot all of them because I didn't market the show as this. They think they're getting crazy standup that I've been doing. Normally.

[Dax Shepard]

They're going to get the Latina accent.

[Andrew Schulz]

Exactly.

[Dax Shepard]

Yeah. They come for the Latina ivf.

[Andrew Schulz]

Basically what happens is they go, oh, my God. I was actually going through this. It was really nice to see us laugh about it because it's been this really dark thing. And then I get a message months later with a picture of their baby. And then certain people who are going through stuff and they had trouble, and maybe they saw it and now they were like, yo, we want to try ivf. Because of the show. I did not expect it. I did not write it for that reason. The only thing on my mind, but the idea that it could destigmatize this thing and removing that stigma could give people the greatest thing they'll ever experience in their life, which is having a kid. By far. There's nothing even comes close was really cool.

[Dax Shepard]

Yeah, it's beautiful. It's really special to get to receive that, I think.

[Andrew Schulz]

Yeah.

[Monica Padman]

So you did an amazing promo with my boyfriend, the love of my life.

[Andrew Schulz]

The legend, Taylor, plus Matt.

[Monica Padman]

I mean, I did think. I was like, matt likes Andrew.

[Andrew Schulz]

I'm qualified.

[Monica Padman]

Yes. Anyway, you did lean in for that promo, and I was like, oh, w. This is really great. And I do think a lot of people who might not follow you or know your stuff or think something about you will be drawn to it because of that. But then I was like, man, I wish he would do more of that, because I think his audience is limitless.

[Andrew Schulz]

Yeah.

[Monica Padman]

But we do think of you in a very skilled. Yeah, exactly.

[Dax Shepard]

I think that can be misleading for all humans, which is you have such a short, sharp skill set that really, anything you bring that talent to bear on is going to yield results, and it could mislead everyone.

[Monica Padman]

We had Robert Sapolsky, evolutionary biologist.

[Dax Shepard]

Yeah. He's the smartest person alive, probably, and he's a determinist. And I'm like, great, you've made a great argument. But can you acknowledge you could have turned that same brain on free will and made just as convincing of an argument? It's just like, where do you want to focus this hyper talent? Let me ask you if this observation rings true?

[Andrew Schulz]

Yeah, sure.

[Dax Shepard]

In the last eight Years, we've watched so many people become famous in the podcast space, whether it's Huberman or name the number of people. And I'm not using Huberman as an example in this, but I've watched many of these people get led by their audience. Instead of them leading their audience, their audience will take them in a rabbit hole. I've seen like, eight people taking themselves into a. Where they started here, and they literally went in the rabbit hole because they just were responding to the most vitriolic response. Do you see that?

[Andrew Schulz]

I see that a lot. I think it's a really astute observation. A lot of people don't realize how much the algorithm really dictates your content. And this is why when I was saying earlier, like, I try to block out everything when I'm in creator mode, even the algorithm, we'll put out episodes. I know how to make every episode go crazy. But then you're a grifter. It's important to me to put out episodes talking about the things we want to talk about with the people we're interested in. And you would hope that. That your core fans will maybe share some appreciation of the people. But I understand that's going to alienate some. And I think what happens a lot of times for people in our position is once you get some success, with success, there's always scrutiny. That's the cost of success. Criticism is the cost. We have to pay it. But when you feel immense scrutiny, it is very easy to retreat towards protection. And protection is usually one ideology. If you're just the right guy, the right got your back. As long as you say all those things. If you're just the left guy, the left got your back. As long as you say those things, vacillating between the two is going to piss both of them off.

[Dax Shepard]

I feel like this is the road I've struck down. Unfortunately, no.

[Andrew Schulz]

But that's how you maintain your authenticity. And then the people that actually know you appreciate you as a person and not just a mouthpiece for one ideology, which I don't want to be. I just want to be me.

[Dax Shepard]

And I'll say this too, about who I think is so funny, Shane Gillis.

[Andrew Schulz]

Shane is great, man. He's so cool.

[Dax Shepard]

A good. That's the unfortunate thing of our current society is you're watching things, trying to pin them to a camp. The whole time, it's like, whoa, where are they? Are they liberal? Are they conservative? And what's fun about Shane is it's a hardcore conservative position. It's a Hardcore left position. It's bouncing back and forth, and I personally love and cherish that. And you're bouncing back and forth in this special. You definitely have some moments, I think.

[Andrew Schulz]

I think so.

[Dax Shepard]

This isn't funny. This is just another observation. So we went through the same thing. You're there, you're in labor forever. All of a sudden, people rush in, the heart rate is crashed, and now you're having this emergency, oh, did Chris have C section?

[Andrew Schulz]

How scary is that shit?

[Dax Shepard]

It is. Did you have this moment? This is so dark to say. And I would never make this decision now, but on the ride with her and a gurney and me walking next down the hallway and 15 doctors all in a panic, I literally said, just keep Kristen alive. I don't give a fuck. Like, I was so excited to have this baby, but my God, is my wife in danger right now?

[Andrew Schulz]

Yep, 100%.

[Dax Shepard]

I was just like, please keep her alive. And now I'd be like, take her. I'll keep Lincoln and Delta.

[Andrew Schulz]

Know what's funny is that Kristen would probably give her life 100 times over for that.

[Dax Shepard]

She'd have me killed a thousand times. Save him a broken arm, and I want her to. Yeah, that's how it should be.

[Andrew Schulz]

Take him. But, yeah, it's terrifying. I think birth is one of these opportunities where you get to see someone put 100% effort. It's very rare in life you get to see 100% effort. You get to see your partner do that. And it's pretty awesome because we think we work hard. We're like, oh, I work 12 days. And then you get to see your partner really fucking light it up. And Emma lost a lot of blood. And this is, like, really beautiful. The baby latched, and they told her. They're like, hey, listen, I know you're exhausted and you had lost a lot of blood. It would be really helpful for the baby if you can feed. I remember she stayed up, she fed the baby. The baby pulled off. They took the baby, and she's like, is she okay? Is she full? And they're like, yeah, she's full. She's fine. And she goes, okay. And then she just fell asleep, Died. But it was just like, she gave everything.

[Dax Shepard]

Does that make you admire her?

[Andrew Schulz]

Fuck, yeah.

[Dax Shepard]

And you go, oh, this. This new thing I care so much about. Hit the jackpot with this, with a mom. Yeah. Full of gratitude on the baby's behalf.

[Andrew Schulz]

And there's also a moment where you're like, if you ever talk back to your mom. Yeah, right. I hope you talk back to your mom. I hope you do that in front of me. I hope you give her some attitude.

[Dax Shepard]

That's why I say to Monica all the time, like, my dream in life is someone shoves her, be worth her getting shoved and falling down just so I can react. Funny cousin.

[Andrew Schulz]

But you're hoping when you're walking that's funny.

[Dax Shepard]

Even you coming today? I'm like, I want to be bros with you for life, to be honest. But if it goes down, it's going down. And that's how it's got to be.

[Monica Padman]

It really didn't go down.

[Andrew Schulz]

I knew it wouldn't go. I knew it was going to go crazy.

[Dax Shepard]

I did too.

[Andrew Schulz]

It is good to enter thinking that. I try to have people with different opinions on my podcast, but maybe it's important for me to go on others as well because then their audiences, like my audience knows that my. My thinking is diverse, but the other audience might not. So coming on a place like here, maybe you get a well rounded version.

[Dax Shepard]

That's been my thing recently, is like, I don't need to go on another liberal podcast. What I need to do is go on Two Bears. Go on. Ideally, Rogan and Go. You can also be a masculine dude and cares a lot about people and wants to help them. You can do all those things. You're not a if you care. I adore you.

[Andrew Schulz]

I love you guys.

[Dax Shepard]

Thank you so much.

[Andrew Schulz]

I really appreciate you guys doing this.

[Monica Padman]

Oh, my God.

[Dax Shepard]

Yeah. All right, everybody watching Life. It's fantastic. It's on now on Netflix. You have it. Watch it. Also, listen to the brilliant idiots and Flagrant.

[Andrew Schulz]

Go listen to Dax's episode of Flagrant if you haven't already. It's awesome.

[Dax Shepard]

It was very fun. You guys are so sweet.

[Andrew Schulz]

Guys, thank you so much.

[Dax Shepard]

He is an armchair expert, but he makes mistakes all the time. Thank God Monica's here. She's gotta let him have the facts. I'm working late cuz I'm a singer.

[Monica Padman]

It's a good song.

[Dax Shepard]

I think that's the cutest lyric I've ever heard.

[Monica Padman]

Yeah, it's a good one.

[Dax Shepard]

Working late because I'm a singer.

[Monica Padman]

She's very cheeky.

[Dax Shepard]

Oh my God, I'm so late to the party. But now I'm an enormous Sabrina Carpenter fan. It started with Bed Chem. Oh, do you know that song?

[Monica Padman]

Is it on the new out? Is it recently?

[Dax Shepard]

I'll play you one teast of it before we get flagged for copyright infringement, but let me see if I can give you a Teast of it.

[Monica Padman]

Let's hear it. I don't know this one. I don't think.

[Dax Shepard]

I was driving with Delta to school today, and we listen to it every morning. And I said, you know, the sign of a really. You know when a song's a jam? A lot of times you're driving in cars and the song's good, and it's a dancy track, and you're, like, maybe clicking your fingers and maybe you're dancing a little bit. But if a song hits, you can't resist dancing with your shoulders. I was telling her that's what you look for.

[Monica Padman]

Okay.

[Dax Shepard]

And so we were both in the car. We were really getting our shoulders active this morning. It was a blast.

[Monica Padman]

Nice.

[Dax Shepard]

It's really fun. Now that I love her favorite artist.

[Monica Padman]

I.

[Dax Shepard]

It's fun for her.

[Monica Padman]

Yeah, of course.

[Dax Shepard]

Because now I'm on the Sabrina train.

[Monica Padman]

Yeah.

[Dax Shepard]

And I'm like, what about this one? She's like, have you listened to Juno? And then I'm like, okay, listen to Juno. It was a little slower. She. I was worried it was going to be a little too slow for you. So we're really like, okay.

[Monica Padman]

I like that.

[Dax Shepard]

It's very fun. Fun.

[Monica Padman]

There's. You know, she gets sexy. Sabrina. Oh, she is some real sexual stuff.

[Dax Shepard]

In fact, Juno is sexual. Well, that's. I'm so glad you brought this up. I would have forgot to say this. So we're laying in bed last night, we're talking about Juno, and, you know, I'm like, I don't want to tell her it wasn't my favorite because it's her favorite, and. But I am not gonna lie to her. All right, so here we are. So we're working through it. He's like, yeah, I understand. It's a little more. Is this that. And she goes, but do you know what Juno is? And I go, no. And she's like, well, it's a movie. And I go, the movie Juno? Yes, I know. She goes, yeah. She said, I want you to make me Juno, because it's a story about a girl who gets pregnant.

[Monica Padman]

Yeah.

[Dax Shepard]

And I go, yeah. I go, ooh, that's a little. That's a little nasty.

[Monica Padman]

All right. See?

[Dax Shepard]

And she goes, what's nasty about wanting to have a baby with somebody? Somebody? And I go, well, it's a teenager. She's in high school. And she goes, oh, she's in high school. So she. She knew part of the Juno story. She just didn't know she was in high school.

[Monica Padman]

She thought it was romantic.

[Andrew Schulz]

Yes.

[Dax Shepard]

And the way she's phrased it was like, wait, what's nasty about wanting to have a baby with someone you love? And I was like, oh, no, there's nothing nasty about that. I'm just saying I want to get pregnant in high school is kind of a nasty, fun lyric. Yeah, nasty. And I'm. It is a popular positive nasty, I'm saying.

[Monica Padman]

Yeah, of course.

[Dax Shepard]

I brought a list today.

[Monica Padman]

Okay.

[Dax Shepard]

Okay. Do you want to tell me something you want to talk about before I get to the next thing I want to talk about?

[Monica Padman]

Yes. So I haven't. I had another ear situation.

[Dax Shepard]

An ear infection.

[Monica Padman]

Not a full infection.

[Dax Shepard]

Schwimmer's ear.

[Monica Padman]

Not Schwimmer's ear.

[Dax Shepard]

I'm pretty funny.

[Monica Padman]

I wish. No, I. So I have three holes, and I don't really use the top one very much at all. But I found these earrings, and it didn't look right in the second hole, so I moved them up to the third hole and I had to, like, really, like, work it in there. Shove it in.

[Dax Shepard]

Yeah. Repuncture it.

[Monica Padman]

Yeah. But I cleaned it. I did my best. And then it did start hurting pretty quickly, but I left it. Cause it looked so cute.

[Dax Shepard]

Very similar story to last time.

[Monica Padman]

Yes. And I left it and I left it. And then that night I took it out and it was, like, really hard to get out. Like, I think it had swollen and sort of around it. So I yanked it out and then I cleaned it all up.

[Dax Shepard]

It had, like, fused to the metal.

[Monica Padman]

Yeah. And then I cleaned it up, but it was really painful and I couldn't, like, lay on. I couldn't lay. I had to back sleep.

[Dax Shepard]

Isn't it weird that your upper ears are very prone to infection?

[Monica Padman]

They're sensitive. Yeah. The higher you get on my ear, I think they just can't handle it.

[Dax Shepard]

It's just very infection prone.

[Monica Padman]

Don't say it was such a gross face.

[Dax Shepard]

Well, it is. It's very.

[Monica Padman]

It's not my fault.

[Dax Shepard]

It's like a cess.

[Monica Padman]

I prefer to call it sensitive.

[Dax Shepard]

Okay.

[Monica Padman]

It's sensitive anyway.

[Dax Shepard]

Particularly sensitive to infection.

[Monica Padman]

Yeah.

[Dax Shepard]

Of its many sensitivities and.

[Monica Padman]

Yeah, that had, like a big. Like, you could feel the big, like, node in there.

[Dax Shepard]

Big lump of infection.

[Monica Padman]

Don't make that face.

[Dax Shepard]

Okay.

[Monica Padman]

Anyway, it's feeling a little bit back to normal, so.

[Dax Shepard]

Okay. I'm glad you got it out of there because that's. That's. That's an improvement.

[Monica Padman]

The big question is, am I allowed to do it again?

[Dax Shepard]

I think it's a wrap on Your upper ears, really? I mean, repeat the same thing, expect a different result. It's like two for two or.

[Monica Padman]

But it's like, maybe it just needs a couple times before it can acclimate.

[Dax Shepard]

I mean, it's your body, your decision, so. But I. I think we stay away from there.

[Monica Padman]

Okay.

[Dax Shepard]

Bit me twice. Shame on me. You're at the shame on me part. First time was shame on your ear.

[Monica Padman]

Sure.

[Dax Shepard]

And now shame on you.

[Monica Padman]

Yeah. Well, we'll see.

[Dax Shepard]

Yeah. Now, this one I flagged. I did flag it with you in mind. I thought this would interest you, even if the topic doesn't, because of where the money comes from.

[Monica Padman]

Okay.

[Dax Shepard]

I read this headline.

[Monica Padman]

Oh.

[Dax Shepard]

Yesterday or the day before. Unmarried Hermes air. That's hard to say.

[Monica Padman]

I know the story.

[Dax Shepard]

Leaving $11 billion to former gardener.

[Monica Padman]

I know. He's going to adopt the gardener so that he can pass it on.

[Dax Shepard]

There'll have to be a movie about this, right?

[Monica Padman]

Of course. Of course.

[Dax Shepard]

It's not like you got left a million dollars like you got left. You're in the top 200 richest people in the world kind of money.

[Monica Padman]

So sweet.

[Dax Shepard]

Although there is some little bit of it having to do with. He doesn't want control of his portion to go to certain people. Yeah.

[Monica Padman]

I think it's also a strategic move, but a extremely generous strategic move.

[Dax Shepard]

And if I'm the gardener, I don't really give a shit what your motivation is. You give me that $11 billion.

[Monica Padman]

I know.

[Dax Shepard]

Can you imagine waking up one. You went to bed.

[Monica Padman]

Yeah.

[Dax Shepard]

You had, like, $3,000 in the bank.

[Monica Padman]

Yeah.

[Dax Shepard]

And the next morning, you have $11 billion.

[Monica Padman]

I mean, of course, like a pessimistic version of this is that they were in love. I mean, that's a weird thing to say. It's, like, cynical, I guess. It's like they're in love, so that's why this is happening. But, like, the best.

[Dax Shepard]

Maybe unrequited love.

[Monica Padman]

Maybe. Ooh, God. Okay. If someone was in love with me and I wasn't in love, and I made that clear, but they could not stop pursuing.

[Dax Shepard]

Yeah.

[Monica Padman]

And then they died and left you.

[Dax Shepard]

11 billion.

[Monica Padman]

Left me $11 billion.

[Dax Shepard]

Would I love them posthumously?

[Monica Padman]

No. Would I feel like I can't accept.

[Dax Shepard]

No. Because you had been honest. Yeah. If you led them on and married them as they had gotten their cancer prognosis. Yeah. You're pretty shady. Yeah.

[Monica Padman]

Okay. Okay. But also, it's sad. It's like he just loved me so.

[Dax Shepard]

Much that even if you didn't like him, he still wanted you. To be happy. That's true love. You should have loved him back.

[Monica Padman]

I know. I regret that. I really regret not loving him back. Okay.

[Dax Shepard]

I want to know more about the gardener.

[Monica Padman]

Yeah, me too.

[Dax Shepard]

And I want to know because it's in Italy or something. Where?

[Monica Padman]

France probably.

[Dax Shepard]

Okay. Is that where is. Okay, that makes more sense then. Okay. Probably not Croatia.

[Monica Padman]

I mean, we don't know where they are. They're billionaires. They could be anywhere.

[Dax Shepard]

Sky's the limit. They could be living up in the sky in Elysium.

[Monica Padman]

Yeah.

[Dax Shepard]

He's older. I think the gardener's 50. Oh, Jesus. My age. Totally Still. Still enjoy it.

[Monica Padman]

Yes, exactly.

[Dax Shepard]

It's so. I have such a disconnect with reading someone's 50. That does not sound like my age.

[Monica Padman]

Right? It doesn't sound. It.50 doesn't sound like your age to me.

[Dax Shepard]

I think I'm just coming to terms. Is in the very second.

[Monica Padman]

Wow. Yeah.

[Dax Shepard]

That it's 50. It's really 50.

[Monica Padman]

It's not 40, but 50 is the new. Like it. It's the new 45. Like, I think of you 45.

[Dax Shepard]

We can't do better than that.

[Monica Padman]

No, Like, I'm being realistic. I think of you. You as 45.

[Dax Shepard]

Okay.

[Monica Padman]

Kind of perpetually.

[Dax Shepard]

Permanently.

[Monica Padman]

Yeah.

[Dax Shepard]

Okay. I'll try to live up to that. I'm certainly trying my hardest.

[Monica Padman]

Yeah.

[Andrew Schulz]

I think.

[Monica Padman]

I don't mean you look 45 or.

[Dax Shepard]

Like, I mean, I definitely look 50 is what you.

[Monica Padman]

No. God, what a trap. No, I'm just saying you'll live at that age for me forever.

[Dax Shepard]

Right.

[Monica Padman]

It's going to be hard for me when I turn 45 because I going to be.

[Dax Shepard]

You turn 50 and you're five years older than me.

[Monica Padman]

Yeah. It's going to get confusing.

[Dax Shepard]

It's going to get messy.

[Monica Padman]

Yeah.

[Dax Shepard]

Okay. We might have to update TBD when I turn 60, you might bump me up to 50.

[Monica Padman]

Okay. What is your age in your head currently?

[Dax Shepard]

40.

[Monica Padman]

40.

[Dax Shepard]

Yeah. Yeah, I think I'm 40. Pretty sure I'm 40.

[Monica Padman]

You might want to go check and see if you're 40.

[Dax Shepard]

50.

[Monica Padman]

Yeah.

[Dax Shepard]

That's a real number.

[Monica Padman]

I know.

[Dax Shepard]

Oh, my God. This is really just hitting me.

[Monica Padman]

Wow.

[Dax Shepard]

Yeah. Because when I read the gardener was 50, I was like, holy. Gave a guy that's almost dead a blow. I wish he would have given it to him when he was 30. That's.

[Monica Padman]

You can't.

[Dax Shepard]

No. But now I realize he's just my age. He's just a guy. He's a little boy my age.

[Monica Padman]

Yeah.

[Dax Shepard]

Oh, wow.

[Monica Padman]

Yeah.

[Dax Shepard]

50.

[Monica Padman]

I feel like I'm 32.

[Dax Shepard]

Yeah, I can sign off on that.

[Monica Padman]

I feel 32.

[Dax Shepard]

So we're both deducting five years, I guess.

[Monica Padman]

Yeah. No, you're deducting 10.

[Dax Shepard]

45. You said I was 45.

[Monica Padman]

Yeah, but you said.

[Dax Shepard]

Oh, yeah, I think I'm 40. Oh, no, 45's old. Older than I am, tell you this much.

[Monica Padman]

Oh, wait, let me look up the. The Hermes gardener.

[Dax Shepard]

Yeah, I wonder if he's doing any press now that he's a 11 billionaire. I hope he disperses some of the money to other people. Like, I hope this is a cascade of people getting called and hey, guess What? You have $100 million. Guess what? You. Because he could give 110 people $100 million.

[Monica Padman]

But I think part of it is now that guy will own a percentage of Hermes. Okay?

[Dax Shepard]

So really it's not cash. It's. It's value in the company.

[Monica Padman]

Oh, that's a good. Okay. It says Nicholas Puke.

[Dax Shepard]

Oh, boy.

[Monica Padman]

P E U C H P U. A fifth generation heir to the Hermes fortune, reportedly plans to adopt his former gardener and handyman from a modest Moroccan family and bequeath him a substantial portion of his estimated 12 billion, $13 billion fortune. It says he's reclusive and childless. 80. He's 80. He owns approximately 5.7% of Hermes shares.

[Dax Shepard]

Okay, what if this guy's first line of work is to introduce a line of Hermes clothing for gardeners? Specifically, like patches in the knees.

[Monica Padman]

Oh, yeah, that's actually cute. That would be cute.

[Dax Shepard]

It could take this. He might be worth 30 billion after he implements.

[Monica Padman]

Has a strained relationship with his family.

[Dax Shepard]

I can't call him that. What's his first name?

[Monica Padman]

Peuge. Has a strained relationship with his family and initially had plans to leave his fortune to the Isocrates Foundation, a charity he founded. However, he reportedly reversed those plans, possibly due to disagreements with his. His family, and is now in the process of arranging his estate to pass on his wealth to his former employee. Former. Not even his current garden.

[Dax Shepard]

I know. It's his old gardener.

[Monica Padman]

Oh, wow.

[Dax Shepard]

Yeah.

[Monica Padman]

God, these bags are nice.

[Dax Shepard]

No one's gotten a interview with the gardener.

[Monica Padman]

What's the gardener's name? They haven't. I'm not seeing.

[Dax Shepard]

That's probably best.

[Monica Padman]

Yeah. They'll kill.

[Dax Shepard]

Well, just like it's not a good idea when people. I've watched some docs on lottery winners. There's a lot of fascinating stuff about lottery winners. One is they file bankruptcy or a really high rate, which is sad.

[Monica Padman]

Yeah.

[Dax Shepard]

But also the amount of people that come out of the woodwork.

[Monica Padman]

Oh, yeah.

[Dax Shepard]

Looking for money. And I guess it kind of makes sense, like, if you're asking for somebody for the money they earned.

[Monica Padman]

Yeah.

[Dax Shepard]

I think it's a different threshold than, like, hey, you found out your friend found $50 million in his backyard, which is basically what winning the lottery is. Yeah, well, he didn't, you know.

[Monica Padman]

Yeah.

[Dax Shepard]

Maybe he'd be easy. Become easy. Go with it. Because he. He just found it.

[Monica Padman]

And so you feel like if you. Someone passes it down, you feel more of a responsibility to that person. Maybe.

[Dax Shepard]

Well, I just think if they said his name out loud, people. Everyone that knows him, like, but you get given $11 billion. Give me some.

[Monica Padman]

Oh.

[Dax Shepard]

Whereas if he built some business for 40 years, they wouldn't be like, give me some of your business.

[Monica Padman]

It is really funny. People really feel like, me some is a real. Give me some is like, a real thought and a lot of people's heads. Yeah, you have so much money, and you should give me some for free.

[Dax Shepard]

I certainly never felt that way. Like, there was a period where, you know, my mom and my brother were partners, and they both made a very good living in Michigan, and I was quite broke in California, and I never felt like they should give me some money.

[Monica Padman]

Yeah.

[Dax Shepard]

But sometimes when we're with Bill Gates, I do think, why doesn't he just give me a billion dollars to be funny?

[Monica Padman]

No, that's not.

[Dax Shepard]

Isn't that funny?

[Monica Padman]

That's that funny.

[Dax Shepard]

It's fun for me.

[Monica Padman]

It's fun for you.

[Dax Shepard]

Fun for me and funny for him.

[Monica Padman]

For anyone else.

[Dax Shepard]

So I do think that when I'm around someone who's got, like, hundreds of billions of dollars, I do think, well, you could give me a dollar. That's Basically, you've got $200 and you give me a dollar for fun.

[Monica Padman]

It's true. Like, obviously, the more somebody has, the more like, it's like, yeah, Bill, maybe you just give me a million. Million. Actually, like, that's nothing for him. Can I just have a million?

[Dax Shepard]

Just because it's funny. Because you're like, oh, my God. You know, the last time I saw Dax, I gave him $16 million. Just like, out of nowhere. He wasn't even expecting it.

[Monica Padman]

That's my best joke. I gave Dax.

[Dax Shepard]

It's a great joke, Bill.

[Monica Padman]

But I guess that's how everyone feels.

[Dax Shepard]

That's right.

[Monica Padman]

So, yeah, if. If anyone has a million dollars and they have $20,000, of course they're gonna be like, get. Give me 50,000 of your dollars, please.

[Dax Shepard]

That's right. It's too much.

[Monica Padman]

I get it.

[Dax Shepard]

Yeah.

[Monica Padman]

I guess I get it all.

[Dax Shepard]

I get it.

[Monica Padman]

So everyone can say, give me some. I guess it's all.

[Dax Shepard]

That's what you're deputizing everyone in your life. Oh, on the topic of give me some, which my tattoo artist has started saying, give me money to show your arm.

[Monica Padman]

Oh.

[Dax Shepard]

I did sit for seven hours and have everything. I think we got to put an end to that story because I didn't listen to the armchairs.

[Monica Padman]

Close the gap. You want to close the door? No, they call it close the loop. Close the loop.

[Dax Shepard]

Right. So it happened. I sat for seven hours and this great guy Marky, that is a tattoo artist in Illinois that Robbie knows.

[Monica Padman]

Yes. Yep.

[Dax Shepard]

I wonder if he likes Robbie. I say Robbie a lot.

[Monica Padman]

Well, Robbie's confusing for me because I have my own Robbie.

[Dax Shepard]

I do, too, a little bit. Yeah, I have your Robbie.

[Monica Padman]

Exactly. So.

[Dax Shepard]

So the man who's giving everyone. He's giving everyone epilepsy.

[Monica Padman]

But there's no other. There's other Robbies. But there's no other Wobby Wob.

[Dax Shepard]

There is no other Wobby Wob. But it was his dude. Wonderful guy. And, yeah, everything has been altered enough that now I can be in a commercial in a short sleeve shirt.

[Monica Padman]

That's exciting.

[Dax Shepard]

So I'm very happy I got my limb back.

[Monica Padman]

Yeah. That's exciting.

[Dax Shepard]

And me and my best friend, Aaron Weekley got matching J2C tattoos.

[Monica Padman]

Yes.

[Dax Shepard]

Yeah.

[Monica Padman]

Do you want to show to the camera?

[Dax Shepard]

Can you see it? I can't really see it, which is a bummer.

[Monica Padman]

What do you mean?

[Dax Shepard]

Well, I would like to be able to see it.

[Monica Padman]

Yeah. You. You can't see it because you put it on your neck.

[Dax Shepard]

Yeah. Then I can't see the back of my neck.

[Monica Padman]

Correct.

[Dax Shepard]

I just. I just found out.

[Monica Padman]

Oh, okay.

[Dax Shepard]

I would have assumed I could see. I didn't realize. I can't see the back of my neck.

[Monica Padman]

Yeah. So it's kind of behind your ear. Yeah.

[Dax Shepard]

And I move my ear in the mirror and that doesn't help me. So I don't really know. I'm not sure what it looks like.

[Monica Padman]

But it looks great.

[Dax Shepard]

Okay. It's there.

[Monica Padman]

It says J2C. Wait.

[Dax Shepard]

Not that anyone needs reminding. January 2nd, Capricorn.

[Monica Padman]

Is it yours? Black.

[Dax Shepard]

Both of us are the same. The J and the C are blue and the two is red.

[Monica Padman]

I need to look closer.

[Dax Shepard]

Okay. Get a little closer with aerid extra dry. And that's what I want. I want people to really get into my neck to look at this thing because I want to invite a vampire to bite me so that I can live forever. Do you ever want to live forever?

[Monica Padman]

Oh, my God, no. Well, not like, like that. I don't want to live like a vampire.

[Dax Shepard]

So many people say they don't want to live forever. It's just very common. I think it's the most popular answer to that.

[Monica Padman]

Do you? I think the most popular answer is they do. But then once you start thinking about it, you think, no.

[Dax Shepard]

Everyone I talk to says, no, I don't want to live forever. But what I don't think is realistic about that is like, what day do they think they're going to wake up and go like, yeah, I want to die today. So when you think about it that way, the AA wait one day at a time. I think one day at a time, you would live forever. You're just not gonna wake up and be like, okay, yep, bride's over.

[Monica Padman]

I, I think the old, the older you get, way older than 50, way older. 250, you're un. You get uncomfortable. Like life start in this scenario where.

[Dax Shepard]

You can live to 250. I'm living as I am today. They've. They completely arrest my aging. Yeah. I'll be 40 for the next 210 years.

[Monica Padman]

I think you might get bored tired of this. I really do.

[Dax Shepard]

I guess what I'm saying is you'd have to be suicidal one day. You'd have to wake up and go, I don't want to live anymore. Yeah, right. And I don't think people do that part of the equation. It's like, what day do you think you're going to wake up and be suicidal?

[Monica Padman]

I don't think it would be the same as being suicidal in a real regular life.

[Dax Shepard]

Right.

[Monica Padman]

Because you have such a limited amount of time in a regular. And so to cut that short is obviously caused by depression.

[Dax Shepard]

You have an expectation and it's.

[Monica Padman]

Yeah, but if you're, you've been on Earth for 250 years, I don't know that I would say it's suicidal to say like, you know, I think I did it.

[Dax Shepard]

I'm done.

[Monica Padman]

As the same way that like an 85 or 90 year old sometimes I think they feel like, well, I'm depending. But I, I do think some people are like, I lived my life and I'm done now.

[Dax Shepard]

But I do think most of those people, their quality of life's gone down quite a bit. They don't, they can't go out and do things and they can't. You know, there's loneliness and isolation and body pains and. Yeah, that's incontinence. Don't forget incontinence. Like, if you were peeing your pants three times a day, you'd be like, I'm done. I'm sick of cleaning my.

[Monica Padman]

Well, somebody else would be cleaning it, you know, so you'd like. You're the one.

[Dax Shepard]

I think a lot of people are.

[Monica Padman]

Diapers and pee in the bed.

[Dax Shepard]

Yeah.

[Monica Padman]

Yeah.

[Dax Shepard]

It sounds great.

[Monica Padman]

You already want last night. Yeah.

[Dax Shepard]

I would have loved to have been wearing a diaper.

[Monica Padman]

See, that's not gonna. It's not gonna slow you down. I don't know. I guess it's just. We won't know until we try it. Yeah, but my gut is, I will. I will be ready to be done by that. I really do.

[Dax Shepard]

I always wonder if that's a sign of depression. That should be on, like, a first questionnaire, maybe. Do you feel like you're going to be done soon? You know? Yeah. Yeah.

[Monica Padman]

Ironically, I'm not scared of dying.

[Dax Shepard]

Me neither.

[Monica Padman]

I mean, I'm scared of everyone else dying, and that's part of it. If you live 250 years, the amount of loss you are going to have accumulated is a lot.

[Dax Shepard]

It's a lot. But you'll be making new friends and having more children and having more lives.

[Monica Padman]

No, I know.

[Dax Shepard]

You have to just think, what if you could live a whole other life in France and then a whole other life in China? Like.

[Monica Padman]

Yeah.

[Dax Shepard]

There's so many corners of the world.

[Monica Padman]

Yeah.

[Dax Shepard]

To keep things interesting. And then after like 800 years, you're like, I gotta move back to Milford, Michigan. Try that out again. Hope it's still there.

[Monica Padman]

Beat not what you might be.

[Dax Shepard]

Skyscraper diapers and flying cars. Yeah.

[Monica Padman]

Yeah. I don't know, though. It's like, are we just. I think our lives are supposed to have an end? I don't know.

[Dax Shepard]

Well, clearly they are.

[Monica Padman]

Yeah. Yes, yes, yes. And so I think if we monkey.

[Dax Shepard]

Around with that, that's the part I think is interesting. Yeah. People think, like, you're going against nature. What you're really saying is you're going against God. There's something deep that people think you're. You're playing God if you live forever.

[Monica Padman]

I. I don't think that because I don't believe that. Like, but I.

[Dax Shepard]

It's the moral dumbfounding. You're like, you know, it's greedy and too much to ask to live forever. There's something about it like there's some moral imperative that feels like being violated by living forever.

[Monica Padman]

I think there's something very poetic about a life.

[Dax Shepard]

We've been forced to view it that way though, because it is. That is what it is. I think we have no choice but to see it as poetic.

[Monica Padman]

But I. I don't know. I think wisdom is real and I think wisdom obviously comes with experience, but it also comes with knowing that the end is coming closer. So I don't know if we are living forever. If anyone really ends up acquiring wisdom. Like the feeling that you talk about when you talk about like your kids. That's a feeling that I think a lot of older people feel about life in general. They just see the preciousness of the whole picture and humanity. Humanity and people. And I think that's a really beautiful thing. I. And I think you earn that by the end. I really do.

[Dax Shepard]

Where you start cherishing everything.

[Andrew Schulz]

Yeah.

[Dax Shepard]

Yeah. Maybe Think how much wisdom you could have though after 400 years.

[Monica Padman]

I don't think you would.

[Dax Shepard]

I even feel this aging myself is like you'd have seen so many market collapses.

[Monica Padman]

Yeah.

[Dax Shepard]

Social upheaval. That you would go like, yeah. And it'll pass.

[Monica Padman]

Yeah.

[Dax Shepard]

You know, kind of like. Kind of like emotions in your body. And I've gotten to that. Like I've just seen like, you know, 2008, you're a monster. If you drive an SUV, the SUV market collapses.

[Monica Padman]

Yeah.

[Dax Shepard]

And then I look up one day and say, oh, everyone's crossover an SUV and everyone just kind of forgot about that thing.

[Monica Padman]

Right.

[Dax Shepard]

Just these cycles of like everyone decided everything is just this is so terrible and we're done with this. And then I watch it come right back up.

[Monica Padman]

Yeah.

[Dax Shepard]

It's. For me it's helpful because I'll watch the current craze of like what is going to go away and I'll just go like, yeah, maybe. Well, I don't know. We'll see how this.

[Monica Padman]

Yeah. That. My friend Sally, she has this guy in her building, he's older, I think maybe like 90, like during the election time he was like, it's four years, right?

[Dax Shepard]

Yeah. And I think some of that. You're seeing some of that in me. In our current.

[Monica Padman]

You're only 40. I don't think you get to say that.

[Dax Shepard]

I haven't earned that.

[Monica Padman]

Way that the 90 year old gets.

[Dax Shepard]

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[Monica Padman]

I've been using this product for quite some time, way before it was a sponsor.

[Dax Shepard]

And your collagen's looking great. I've commented on it.

[Monica Padman]

You have? And I'm post 30, so it's time.

[Andrew Schulz]

You are?

[Dax Shepard]

Yes. Get 20% off by going to vitalproteins.com and entering promo code DAX at checkout. That's vitalproteins.com promo code DAX for 20 off. These statements have not been evaluated by the Food and Drug Administration. This product is not intended to diagnose, treatment, cure, or prevent any disease.

[Monica Padman]

All right.

[Dax Shepard]

Okay.

[Monica Padman]

Well, this is for Andrew. Andrew Schultz.

[Dax Shepard]

Andrew Schultz.

[Monica Padman]

Yes.

[Dax Shepard]

Some feedback just came in for. Because it's on the week early.

[Monica Padman]

It's on One Dream plus already.

[Dax Shepard]

Yeah. And already I read a couple people say, like, oh, my God, what a fucking incredible episode. So that was good.

[Monica Padman]

That's great. Yeah, it was. It was good to have him and talk some stuff out. Okay. Russia. McDonald's. Yeah. They did sell. Sell it to a local buyer, McDonald's.

[Dax Shepard]

During the war, they sold it.

[Monica Padman]

Well, they left Russia.

[Dax Shepard]

They left Russia and then those buildings just got taken over by some other company.

[Monica Padman]

Right. But still in the food.

[Dax Shepard]

Still a McDonald's.

[Monica Padman]

Yeah.

[Dax Shepard]

Now, what's the name?

[Monica Padman]

Now it's called Vladimir Putin's Hamburger House. Exactly.

[Dax Shepard]

Putin's Patty. Mel House.

[Monica Padman]

Putin's Patties.

[Dax Shepard]

Putin's Patties.

[Monica Padman]

I go vacuum tochka. It translates to tasty. And that's it. Tasty and that's.

[Dax Shepard]

It is the title that feels very Russian. My stereotype. It's like, I know.

[Monica Padman]

It's so bleak.

[Dax Shepard]

Yeah. This is what I said. Like, you know my story of my Russian stone person, my first house, whatever that is, 20 years ago, and I was redoing the bathroom, and the contractor had brought the stone person that was going to put in all the stone in the bathroom.

[Monica Padman]

Oh, okay.

[Dax Shepard]

But he hadn't said anything. And the contractor was like, do you Want a steam shower? Do you want this? Do you want. There's so many options, right?

[Monica Padman]

Yeah.

[Dax Shepard]

And at a certain point I said, sometimes I just wish I was doing this bathroom in Russia. It's like, you want to take shit? Yes. No, you want to wash face. So I do my Russian thing and there's no laughing.

[Monica Padman]

Oh.

[Dax Shepard]

And I say, are you rushing to the guy there? And he's like, yes, but it is funny.

[Monica Padman]

Oh, good.

[Dax Shepard]

Everyone else laughs.

[Monica Padman]

Okay. Oh, wow.

[Dax Shepard]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Monica Padman]

Okay. So tasty and that's it.

[Dax Shepard]

Tasty and that's it. If you don't like tasty, then fucking keep it moving.

[Monica Padman]

Yep. Okay. Now fan is fan. Fanta. Nazi Coke. Fanta. Owned by Coca Cola. Coca Cola Company. Fanta was introduced in 1940 and is the second oldest brand owned by Coca Cola.

[Dax Shepard]

Introduced in Germany.

[Monica Padman]

Correct. During World War II due to ingredient shortages.

[Dax Shepard]

Okay. So it was created there in Germany.

[Monica Padman]

Land Deutsche in World War II.

[Dax Shepard]

Okay.

[Monica Padman]

So. So ellipses. We'll leave it at that.

[Dax Shepard]

I always find this so interesting.

[Monica Padman]

Yeah.

[Dax Shepard]

I bring it up, up kind of too often, but Adidas, huh? And Puma were brothers.

[Monica Padman]

Really?

[Dax Shepard]

Yes. They own a shoe company together.

[Monica Padman]

I didn't know that.

[Dax Shepard]

And at the outbreak of World War II, one was a sympathizer and one was not and the company split up. Really? Yeah.

[Monica Padman]

So Puma is the non Nazi one.

[Dax Shepard]

I'm not gonna say anything out loud yet.

[Monica Padman]

Well, yeah, we already know about a D. And they're Adidas. Yeah, that is. That was his name, right?

[Dax Shepard]

I think that was their last name. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Monica Padman]

Ah, the Nazi got the last name, then the other one had to go with Puma.

[Dax Shepard]

Pretty cool. Hey, I like Puma.

[Monica Padman]

I mean, everyone likes Pumas, but like you get to in. When it's your last name, it's a blank slate and you get to like really make that a brand. When you, when it's Puma, you already have an idea of what a puma is. The logo has to be a puma. Yeah.

[Dax Shepard]

Gotta be a mid sized mountain cat.

[Monica Padman]

Okay. Donnie Burns is the Scottish ballroom dancer who has won many titles and holds a Guinness World record. I was looking up most winning as ballroom dancer.

[Dax Shepard]

How many has he won?

[Monica Padman]

Well, he's one 14 time world professional Latin champion, 11 time international Latin American dance champion.

[Dax Shepard]

That's what's unfair to a lot of these disciplines. You know, a guy like Jordan wins six rings and you're like, he's the Michael Jordan of whatever. And then some other guys went, he's on 14 times. He's like, Jordan, you need a step stool to kiss my ass. That's what he would say.

[Monica Padman]

That is probably what he would say.

[Dax Shepard]

Yeah.

[Monica Padman]

Yeah, I guess. That is unfair.

[Dax Shepard]

Yeah.

[Monica Padman]

Okay. Andrew said that Tim Waltz said he was at the Battle of Gettysburg in the Civil War. That was obviously a joke.

[Dax Shepard]

Hyperbole.

[Monica Padman]

That was hyperbole. And it was a joke.

[Dax Shepard]

It was, it was Tiananmen Square.

[Monica Padman]

Correct. That he said he was there or a part of, and he was not. Okay, so that was bad. Okay. Bipolar. You said 10 times the rate in Japan. I mean, I'm sorry. We have 10 times the rate over Japan. The United States has the highest lifetime rate of bipolar disorder at 4.4%. India, the lower lowest with 0.1%. And Japan, 0.7%.

[Dax Shepard]

0.7 44 divided by 7 is almost 7.

[Monica Padman]

Yeah.

[Dax Shepard]

Yeah.

[Monica Padman]

So 7.

[Dax Shepard]

7%. No, 7 times 7. 7. We have 7 times the rate, not 10 times the rate. Yeah, that's still astronomical.

[Monica Padman]

That's a lot. Yeah, it's a lot. Is Jack Schlossberg J of K's grandson? Yes, he is.

[Dax Shepard]

Congratulations.

[Monica Padman]

Oh, okay. I thought he looked like Ben Schwartz.

[Dax Shepard]

And I thought he looked like Ash in.

[Monica Padman]

Yeah, I didn't, I didn't. He doesn't look like Ben Schwartz, but they have similar mannerisms. And then this also, I just started watching the Pit, right. Which is on Max. It's a medical drama.

[Dax Shepard]

It's er. Just call it er.

[Monica Padman]

It's basically er. It has Noah Wiley, John Wells, I.

[Dax Shepard]

Think is the show.

[Monica Padman]

Correct. And it's fun. I, I, I really just like a medical drama.

[Dax Shepard]

The only one I ever got hooked on was House.

[Monica Padman]

That's the one I didn't do.

[Dax Shepard]

Hurry is so incredible.

[Monica Padman]

He is such a good addict.

[Dax Shepard]

He's a cantankerous addict.

[Monica Padman]

Right.

[Dax Shepard]

And the most brilliant doctor on the planet.

[Monica Padman]

So you never watched er?

[Dax Shepard]

No.

[Monica Padman]

Really?

[Dax Shepard]

No.

[Monica Padman]

Well, I just finished a pit and I'm gonna restart er.

[Dax Shepard]

I thought you were gonna say you're gonna restart pit. I just finished pit and I'm gonna restart it.

[Monica Padman]

I mean, that is something I have done, but, yeah, no, I'm gonna restart er. I'm excited about that.

[Dax Shepard]

I was too busy in life when that came out. You know, I was like, early 20s, I think. I wasn't at. I wasn't watching TV. I was, like, out every single night doing something fun.

[Monica Padman]

Yeah, you were probably N. Yeah. Because I, I have very vivid memories of watching it with my mom in bed. Our house in Tennessee. So I would have been seven, watching TV in bed.

[Dax Shepard]

Is so fun.

[Monica Padman]

It is, yeah. We would watch ER so seven, so. Yeah. You were 19.

[Dax Shepard]

Yeah.

[Monica Padman]

That was nostalgic watching the pit. But there's an actor on there that is so. Ashtony.

[Dax Shepard]

Oh, really?

[Monica Padman]

Yes.

[Andrew Schulz]

Ah.

[Monica Padman]

And there's a actress that is very. Christina Ricci. Oh. So there's a lot of doppelgangers on that show, which is interesting. And then I was reminded that there are some. There's like some people that are cutouts in the sim. There's like they're a cookie cutter that gets stamped and then they just like change some things.

[Dax Shepard]

I've been saying this. Yeah. Now that I'm 40 and I've met.

[Monica Padman]

Congratulations.

[Dax Shepard]

Tens of thousands of people in my life.

[Monica Padman]

Yeah.

[Dax Shepard]

I think there's like 1600 people.

[Monica Padman]

Right.

[Dax Shepard]

I meet doubles non stop. And then what's crazy is the people with the same physicality, they're personalities are generally the same too. Like, I think how you look ends up predicting a little bit how you're gonna.

[Monica Padman]

Yeah, maybe.

[Dax Shepard]

Yeah.

[Monica Padman]

Yeah. So they just take like. They like make the ear a little bigger and like flatten the nose a little bit. They're like. That one's good.

[Dax Shepard]

Yeah. They do like a 2%.

[Monica Padman]

Exactly.

[Dax Shepard]

Kind of like my tattoos. Ding, ding, ding. Let's change them enough that they're original.

[Monica Padman]

Exactly. Okay. I didn't know what buck breaking was.

[Dax Shepard]

Ugly term. Or maybe not ugly. Ugly activity.

[Monica Padman]

Activity, Right. Correct. The history of sexual exploitation of black people by the dominant society, particularly the sexual exploitation of black men.

[Dax Shepard]

We're gonna go out on buck breaking.

[Monica Padman]

No, no, no, no. AOC's district voted for Kamala.

[Dax Shepard]

Okay.

[Monica Padman]

She lost some votes.

[Dax Shepard]

Okay.

[Monica Padman]

But she still won it.

[Dax Shepard]

Gotcha.

[Monica Padman]

So some people moved over is the thing, but not the majority. Gotcha. Okay, that's it.

[Dax Shepard]

That settles it.

[Monica Padman]

Yeah.

[Dax Shepard]

Okay.

[Monica Padman]

Yeah.

[Dax Shepard]

Wonderful.

[Monica Padman]

That was. I was glad we had him on.

[Dax Shepard]

Oh, yeah, me too.

[Monica Padman]

Yeah.

[Dax Shepard]

All right. Love you.

[Monica Padman]

Love you.

[Dax Shepard]

Follow Armchair Expert on the Wondry app, Amazon Music, or wherever you get your podcasts. You can listen to every episode of Armchair Expert early and ad free right now by joining Wondry plus in the Wondery app or on Apple podcasts. Before you go, tell us about yourself by completing a short [e-mail] survey At.

[Monica Padman]

24, I lost my narrative. Or rather it was stolen from me. And the Monica Lewinsky that my friends and family knew was usurped by false narratives, callous jokes and politics.

[Andrew Schulz]

I would define reclaiming as to take.

[Monica Padman]

Back what was yours. Something you possess is lost or stolen, and ultimately you triumph in finding it again. So I think listeners can expect me to be chatting with folks both recognizable and unrecognizable names about the way that people have navigated roads to triumph. My hope is that people will finish an episode of Reclaiming and feel like they filled their tank up, they connected with the people that I'm talking to, and leave with maybe some nuggets that help them feel a little more hopeful. Follow Reclaiming with Monica Lewinsky on the Wondery app or wherever you get your podcasts. You can listen to Reclaiming early and ad free right now by joining Wondery in the Wondery app or on Apple Podcasts.