Armchair Anonymous: 4th of July

Summary

Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard Episode: Armchair Anonymous: 4th of July Release Date: July 4, 2025

In this engaging episode of Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard, host Dax Shepard and his guests delve into a series of riveting Fourth of July stories, blending humor, suspense, and heartfelt moments. The episode, titled "Armchair Anonymous: 4th of July," features personal anecdotes from listeners who experienced unexpected and often harrowing events during America's Independence Day celebrations. Below is a detailed summary capturing all key discussions, insights, and memorable quotes from the episode.

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1. Emma’s 4th of July Ordeal: A Bullet in the Arm

[03:14 - 11:18]

The episode kicks off with Emma sharing a harrowing experience from her Fourth of July celebration in Washington, D.C. Hosting a barbecue with friends and family, the festivities took a terrifying turn when Emma was struck by a bullet during the fireworks display.

Emma’s Story Highlights:

• Initial Incident: Emma recounts how, amidst a rooftop gathering to watch Capitol fireworks, she felt a sudden impact on her arm. “I feel this giant smack on my arm and a huge pain in my arm.” (05:25)
• Immediate Aftermath: Confusion and panic ensued as everyone searched for the source of the injury, eventually suspecting firework debris. “I must have been hit by a piece of firework debris.” (05:25)
• Medical Revelation: Upon visiting the hospital, Emma learns the shocking truth that the object lodged in her arm was an actual bullet. “We just called the police. You have a full bullet inside of your arm.” (06:50)
• Recovery and Reflection: Despite the severity, Emma felt lucky not to have suffered more critical injuries and reflects on the unpredictability of such accidents. “I am so lucky it hit your arm.” (08:41)

Dax and Katie express both shock and amusement at the gravity of the situation, highlighting the randomness and danger of celebratory gunfire. Emma’s story serves as a cautionary tale about the dangers of firing weapons into the air during festivities.

---

2. Monica Padman’s Torch Lake Adventure: From Lost to Love

[18:42 - 28:02]

Next, Monica Padman narrates her adventurous Fourth of July camping trip on Michigan’s renowned Torch Lake. What began as a typical camping excursion unfolded into an unexpected journey that led to meeting her future husband.

Monica’s Story Highlights:

• Camping Setup: Monica describes organizing a camping trip with friends on state land near Torch Lake, emphasizing their youthful spontaneity and lack of preparation. “We didn't rent a house. There's no forethought, no money back then.” (18:42)
• Drinking Games and Socializing: The group engages in traditional camping activities, including a drinking game called "Thunderstruck," which leads to Monica getting separated from her friends. “Every time they say thunder, you get in a group... Somebody gets thunder fucked.” (19:38)
• The Mishap: While navigating her way back, Monica faces a humorous yet embarrassing predicament of losing her bathing suit and accidentally defecating near a boat. Her situation is resolved gracefully by fellow campers. “Luckily, that was not part of my story that weekend.” (22:05)
• The Encounter: Lost and seeking help, Monica meets a man who would later become her husband through a serendipitous Facebook message a decade later. “10 years later, hot brother and I are married.” (26:24)

Dax and Katie engage in playful banter throughout Monica’s tale, celebrating the serendipitous nature of her story and the eventual happy ending. Monica’s experience underscores the unpredictable yet rewarding outcomes of adventurous spirits during holiday celebrations.

---

3. Matt’s Family Cottage Fire: Navigating Fires and Family Feuds

[28:02 - 43:35]

Matt shares a gripping account of a Fourth of July incident at his family’s cottage on Lake Michigan. The story highlights the challenges of handling accidental fires triggered by fireworks and the interpersonal dynamics that follow.

Matt’s Story Highlights:

• Firework Mishap: During a family gathering, a malfunctioning bottle rocket ignites dry dune grass, rapidly escalating into a sizeable fire. “It starts off, it's like it's a little fire... My dad jumps into action.” (30:06)
• Family Response: Matt details the frantic efforts of his father and relatives attempting to control the blaze using blankets and hoses, emphasizing the urgency and chaos of the situation. “We’re all running up, trying to grab some hoses.” (32:25)
• Fire Department Arrival: Despite their efforts, the fire spreads to neighbors' decks before firefighters arrive, causing significant property damage. “The neighbor’s deck, total loss right off.” (33:13)
• Aftermath and Reflections: The family faces a feud over who started the fire, but Matt finds solace in knowing his hands were clean. The story concludes with a humorous twist on Indiana’s fireworks legality and the enduring family bonds forged through crisis. “We just laugh because that would have never worked.” (27:16)

Dax and Katie react with a mix of humor and empathy, appreciating the intensity and familial bonds evident in Matt’s narrative. The story serves as both a thrilling recount of misadventure and a testament to family resilience in the face of disaster.

---

4. Conclusion and Listener Interactions

[43:35 - End]

As the episode winds down, Dax facilitates interactions between the storytellers and other participants, injecting humor and camaraderie. The hosts emphasize the importance of enjoying holidays safely while sharing their own fond memories of fireworks displays.

Key Takeaways:

• Safety First: The recurring theme across all stories is the unpredictable nature of fireworks and the importance of celebrating responsibly.
• Human Connections: Whether through tragedy or unexpected encounters, Fourth of July festivities can lead to profound personal connections and memorable experiences.
• Humorous Reflections: The episode balances intense narratives with light-hearted banter, showcasing the messy yet beautiful aspects of being human.

Notable Quotes:

• Dax Shepard: “So maybe it's universal. This is very standard Michigan, too.” (24:17)
• Katie: “Do you think it was on its ascent or its descent?” (07:19)
• Monica Padman: “I was known as a flight risk in college because I would just wander away.” (21:14)

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Final Thoughts: In "Armchair Anonymous: 4th of July," Dax Shepard expertly navigates through stories of chaos, luck, and love intertwined with the spirit of Independence Day. The episode not only entertains but also imparts valuable lessons on safety and the unpredictable nature of celebrations. Listeners are left reflecting on their own holiday experiences, cherishing the connections and memories that define their journey.

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Transcript

[Dax Shepard]

Wondry subscribers can listen to Armchair Expert early and ad free right now. Join Wondry plus in the Wondry app or on Apple Podcasts or you can listen for free wherever you get your podcasts. Welcome, welcome, welcome to Armchair Anonymous. I'm Dan Shepherd. Happy fourth of July, America.

[Monica Padman]

Happy fourth.

[Katie]

I love fourth of July.

[Dax Shepard]

Me too.

[Katie]

I love living here.

[Dax Shepard]

Me too.

[Katie]

Despite a lot of stuff, I love it.

[Dax Shepard]

I love it.

[Katie]

And I'm grateful for my families who moved here and let me be an American citizen.

[Dax Shepard]

Yeah, I was just revisiting how boring and old I've become. I watched the Ben Franklin Ken Burns. Oh yeah, it's like a 27 part deal on PBS. I bought it years ago and watched it the other night. I was like, I'm going to revisit this after lost some of my facts on Ben. And yeah, just watching what they went through. And you know, his son, his son was the governor of New Jersey and he was a loyalist and they had many, many fights as they were as the Continental Congress was getting together and he was urging his son, you gotta come with us. You gotta be a part of this. And he won it and he never did. He stayed loyal to the king.

[Katie]

Wow.

[Dax Shepard]

Yeah.

[Katie]

It's kinda like your dad and you with jumping off the deck.

[Dax Shepard]

The deck?

[Katie]

Yeah. It's a power struggle.

[Dax Shepard]

The immovable object met the unstoppable force. Or at any rate, in honor of our country's birth and celebration, we have fourth of July disasters. Leave it to us. And again, this is what makes us so great. We like to blow ourselves up to celebrate.

[Katie]

Oh, gosh.

[Dax Shepard]

To get those fireworks out, just start blowing things to bits.

[Monica Padman]

Oh my God.

[Dax Shepard]

Bodies. This is lovely. Everyone enjoy the fourth of July. Here are some crazy stories about the fourth of July.

[Lara]

The HBO original series the Gilded Age is back. And so is the official companion podcast.

[Monica Padman]

Curious about how they brought Gilded Age New York to life?

[Dax Shepard]

I don't understand. Which bit is not clear? None of it is clear.

[Lara]

Want to know where the writers branched off from history?

[Dax Shepard]

Well, when you set your mind on.

[Matt]

A thing, no one can stop you.

[Dax Shepard]

I take that as a compliment.

[Monica Padman]

Watch or listen to the official Gilded Age podcast. Wherever you find podcasts.

[Kevin]

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[Dax Shepard]

Good times, take them slow My life, I had them both Remember one thing you gotta know Imma keep on shining Hello, Is this Katie?

[Emma]

Can't hear you.

[Dax Shepard]

Oh, it sounds echoey. Oh, and now you're gone.

[Katie]

That's the right move.

[Dax Shepard]

Start over.

[Emma]

Is it okay without my headphones?

[Dax Shepard]

We kind of need headphones because the audio will be messed up when we talk.

[Emma]

Okay, one minute. Let me try to get another pair.

[Dax Shepard]

Thank you.

[Emma]

Hi, guys. How about now?

[Dax Shepard]

Oh, you sound incredible. Katie, where are you?

[Emma]

I Live in Washington, D.C. but I'm actually on my bachelorette party right now.

[Dax Shepard]

Yours or someone else's?

[Emma]

Mine.

[Dax Shepard]

Oh, my God.

[Emma]

So I just ran out there to 10 girls. The headphones aren't working.

[Dax Shepard]

Oh, and have we caught you on what will be your only sober moment of the day?

[Emma]

Hopefully.

[Dax Shepard]

Yeah.

[Katie]

I love this. Where is the party?

[Dax Shepard]

Oh, let me guess. Nashville.

[Emma]

No.

[Dax Shepard]

Damn it. Okay.

[Emma]

Charlottesville, Virginia. There's like, lots of wineries here.

[Katie]

Oh, I'm jealous. How exciting.

[Dax Shepard]

That wasn't random. You know, Nashville's like the capital.

[Katie]

I've been to one.

[Dax Shepard]

You have? Did you ride a bike down the street drinking out of the thing we saw?

[Katie]

We didn't do it.

[Dax Shepard]

That's the good move. Yeah. Are you guys doing anything insane?

[Emma]

Nothing insane. We had a pool day today, so it was perfect timing. When I got the note from Emma yesterday, I was like, we'll make it work.

[Katie]

Yay. Congratulations.

[Dax Shepard]

Yes. When are your nuptials?

[Emma]

August 30th. Celebrity weekend. It was the only date available on a Saturday, so we were like, lock it down.

[Dax Shepard]

Okay, perfect. Okay. So you have a Fourth of July story.

[Emma]

I do. So this happened last Fourth of July. So July 2024 in Washington, DC, where I live. My boyfriend, now fiance, is a big fourth of July guy. So we always host a party. We always host a barbecue. We had maybe 20, 30 people over and it was going well, just like a normal party. Around 8, it started to die down. I think 4th of July was on a Thursday last year, so some people had to go to work. Or a lot of people like to see the fireworks at the Capitol, where they do a big show. And that's Normally, what we would have done, but we had just gotten a dog a couple months before, and we didn't know how he was going to react.

[Dax Shepard]

So.

[Emma]

So my neighbors are like, let's go upstairs. We have, like, a rooftop. Let's see if we can see the Capitol fireworks from there.

[Dax Shepard]

How close are you to the city? City?

[Emma]

I'm in the city. I live in Capitol Hill.

[Dax Shepard]

Oh, wow.

[Katie]

That's awesome.

[Dax Shepard]

That's exciting.

[Monica Padman]

So we're up there.

[Emma]

We're just chilling. We can't see the Capitol fireworks, but it's a city. People are setting off fireworks literally everywhere. And then all of a sudden, I feel this giant smack on my arm and a huge pain in my arm. I'm kind of in shock. At first. I'm like, what just happened? So is everyone. Everyone's looking at me like, are you okay? And I look down on. And I have a small but deep kind of wound. And it felt like I got hit by something really big. So I'm, like, looking around, trying to see what hit me. Is there debris? And I'm not seeing anything, but I'm like, guys, I must have been hit by a piece of firework debris.

[Katie]

Oh, God.

[Emma]

We go inside, take a look at it, wash it off, and when I lift my other side of my arm, I can tell that I have a giant bruise and that whatever is in me is still inside of me and kind of bulging out.

[Katie]

Ooh, like a bullet.

[Dax Shepard]

Yeah, I'm afraid so.

[Emma]

We go to the hospital. We have to Uber. Cause we've been drinking. Takes forever to get to the hospital. And so I get an X ray. They're like, yeah, it's probably a firework. We go back, and at this point, I'm feeling calm. I had been sobbing in the Uber. It was just mentally freaky to, like, have something.

[Dax Shepard]

Yeah. What was the pain level? Out of 10?

[Emma]

I said a 7 out of 10. More like mental pain, I feel like, than physical. Finally, the doctor and nurse come in, and they have a very serious look on their face. And they said, we've just called the police. You have a full bullet inside of your arm.

[Katie]

God.

[Emma]

Apparently on New Year's and Fourth of July, people just.

[Dax Shepard]

Fucking idiot.

[Monica Padman]

Pow.

[Katie]

Pow.

[Dax Shepard]

Yeah. Like, they think it disappears when it hits the air or it's not gonna come down.

[Emma]

They said it can travel up to two miles away if someone shoots a bullet in the air. Because there was no one around us. There was no one doing anything crazy.

[Dax Shepard]

And do they think it was on its ascent or its descent?

[Emma]

The descent.

[Katie]

They think oh, my God.

[Dax Shepard]

Yes. Let's be honest, guys. The bullet comes down, it's aerodynamic, it's going to travel at extreme speeds.

[Katie]

You're so lucky it hit your arm.

[Emma]

Yes. And then this is the craziest part, at least to me. They clean it out, they give me some IV antibiotics and they're like, yeah, so we don't have a trauma surgeon on staff and you're stable, so we're gonna send you home.

[Dax Shepard]

Have a good night.

[Katie]

With it in you with it in.

[Emma]

Me still they were like, here's some surgeons you can call as a heads up. It's now like Friday at 1am no one's gonna see you till after the weekend. And so I lived with a bullet inside of me for four and a half days or something like that. I think I sent some photos in.

[Dax Shepard]

Oh, let us look. Okay, number one. Oh, my Lord. Here's the round. Well, you're really lucky. I'm sure it was explained to you what happens had it hit you on the ascent with its full velocity. It would have flattened out once it hit you and then really tore things up. That thing is in perfect shape. It's not augmented at all.

[Emma]

I didn't know anything about guns before this, but it was a hollow point bullet which are designed to like maximally shred into your body. Basically like explode.

[Katie]

Once they're in there.

[Dax Shepard]

Yeah. They come in at the size they are and as that impact, it flattens it out and then the exit hole is usually like 5x the size. Yeah.

[Katie]

Christ.

[Dax Shepard]

But you know what's crazy? So now I'm looking at your arm first there's a great X ray with the bullet. Also, it didn't crack a bone.

[Katie]

I'm happy to see you had an Indian doctor.

[Dax Shepard]

Well, it could be Pakistani.

[Katie]

Oh, yeah.

[Dax Shepard]

But I don't even know that.

[Katie]

Either way, I'm happy to see that.

[Dax Shepard]

There'S a bruise, but it does look like you fell off a bike, not that you were shot in the arm.

[Emma]

Yeah. And if you see that little pink cent, that's the bullet pushing. And I was so freaked out. Cuz I've heard if you have a foreign object in your body, your body will expel it. And it was like right under the skin. I was like, if this bursts open on its own, I will freak out.

[Dax Shepard]

Oh, you didn't want that?

[Emma]

No, no, I wanted a doctor to take it out the right way.

[Dax Shepard]

I would have wanted to plug her ears. If you're queasy. I would have wanted to pop it. Think of. That's like the ultimate pimple to get out. Like when you get a pimple and you get the core, like this would be the ultimate core. The relief you'd feel as it exited would be euphor.

[Katie]

Dax, I do think you underplayed this bruise.

[Dax Shepard]

Okay. It's enormous, but it's not black and gangrenous.

[Katie]

I mean, it's pretty black around the perimeter.

[Emma]

By the end, it was definitely like, hot. The doctor was like, I think it's infected. We gotta get this out of you right away.

[Dax Shepard]

Was it super simple for them to get it out?

[Emma]

Yeah, I thought they might not have to put me under, but they did put me under and then just quick surgery.

[Dax Shepard]

And did they ever tell you what caliber that was?

[Emma]

Yes, they did. It was a 9 millimeter hollow point bullet.

[Katie]

Did they find the person who did it?

[Emma]

No, they kind of told me, like, unless we find the gun, like we're not gonna find. I hadn't heard anything, seen anything. Could have been two miles away. So. Could have been anyone. But yeah, words the wise. Don't shoot guns in the air.

[Dax Shepard]

Seriously, you dinguses.

[Katie]

Oh my God. You're unlucky. And you're so lucky.

[Dax Shepard]

A mix of bad and good luck. Yeah. Because that's probably where you would pick if you had to pick where you were gonna get hit.

[Emma]

Yeah, right here. Went in.

[Katie]

Oh my gosh.

[Dax Shepard]

Yeah. Got a lovely scar.

[Katie]

Still, it's kind of cool.

[Dax Shepard]

It's very cool because people inevitably will ask, oh, what's that scar from? Nothing. I got shot. I got shot and then I just hung out for four days.

[Katie]

Gunshot wounds.

[Dax Shepard]

Nine mil hollow point.

[Emma]

All my friends were expecting me to get engaged somewhat soon. So I was like facetiming them the next day. They were like, yay. And I was like, no, I actually got shot.

[Dax Shepard]

Even better.

[Monica Padman]

It was a good story. That is a good story.

[Dax Shepard]

That's incredible. Katie. Wowzers. Well, have a fucking riot on this bachelorette party. Yes.

[Emma]

Do you mind if the girls come in?

[Dax Shepard]

Get them all in here. Oh, sunnies. Okay. Sunnies.

[Katie]

This is so fun.

[Dax Shepard]

Oh, there's a big blow up. Dick.

[Katie]

I want to go.

[Emma]

Join us, Monica, I would love to.

[Dax Shepard]

Open invite to the bachelorette party.

[Katie]

It's so much fun.

[Dax Shepard]

Yeah.

[Emma]

Thank you so much. It was so great to meet you guys.

[Dax Shepard]

You too. All right, take care. Bye, gals. Yeah.

[Katie]

I want someone to propose just so I can have a bachelorette party.

[Dax Shepard]

You want one?

[Katie]

I love girls trips.

[Dax Shepard]

Yeah. I got married. I did not have a bachelor party.

[Katie]

I know, but you've lived a lot.

[Dax Shepard]

I'VE lived a bachelor party.

[Katie]

So have I, to be fair. But I could just plan a girls trip. But I won't get all the attention.

[Dax Shepard]

You want all the attention. One day it's gonna be like a birthday girls trip. Birthday. Yeah.

[Katie]

Okay.

[Dax Shepard]

Or get shot in the arm trip.

[Katie]

No, I definitely. I definitely don't want that.

[Dax Shepard]

Go. Love these pink pants. I'm miserable that these aren't real. For the listener, our screen is up on our tv.

[Katie]

Yeah. And it's making Dax's blue pants look.

[Dax Shepard]

Pink and Monica's hair clown red. Let me evaluate that. I'm trying to think if I. Yeah, I would dig that.

[Katie]

No.

[Dax Shepard]

Yeah. Turn to the. Well, you can't see yourself. If you do profile, pull some of it out over your shorty.

[Emma]

It's not for me.

[Dax Shepard]

Okay. Wait. I'm gonna take a picture of you now. Smile at me. That's awesome. I'm gonna tell everyone you dyed your hair red and put spiderweb on it.

[Katie]

It does kind of look cool.

[Dax Shepard]

It does. Hello.

[Monica Padman]

Hi.

[Dax Shepard]

Hi. Is this Lara?

[Monica Padman]

It's Lara.

[Dax Shepard]

Uh.

[Katie]

Oh, Dax. You thought that was Lara?

[Dax Shepard]

L, A, R, A.

[Katie]

Okay, I see what you mean.

[Monica Padman]

Can I tell you a quick funny story before my story?

[Dax Shepard]

Yes.

[Monica Padman]

My name was Lara. My mom named me Lara. And then she didn't like the way my grandma pronounced it. So she changed it three weeks later.

[Dax Shepard]

After I was born to Laura, but didn't change the spelling.

[Monica Padman]

Well, Lara.

[Dax Shepard]

Lara, Lara. Now, do you remember the 60 Minutes? Okay.

[Katie]

By the way.

[Dax Shepard]

Okay. Were you aware of the 60 Minutes anchor? Lara Slush.

[Katie]

Anchor.

[Dax Shepard]

No. Croft, maybe that's Tomb Raider. There was a Lara. 60 Minutes anchor. Whatever.

[Lara]

Lara Logan.

[Dax Shepard]

Lara Logan. Do you deal with this a lot?

[Katie]

I'm sorry.

[Monica Padman]

I don't usually go this far into detail. But it's you guys, so I feel.

[Dax Shepard]

Entitled to do it because my name has gotten so much goddamn attention for my whole life.

[Monica Padman]

I hated it when I was a kid, but now it's great.

[Dax Shepard]

Yeah.

[Monica Padman]

Such a good story.

[Dax Shepard]

And where are you at?

[Monica Padman]

I am in Michigan.

[Dax Shepard]

Where?

[Monica Padman]

Just south of Grand Rapids. I'm in a little town called Middleville.

[Dax Shepard]

Okay. Do you go up to Grand Haven and enjoy the fireworks and stuff?

[Monica Padman]

Sometimes. Do you know where Gun Lake is? Have you been to Gun Lake?

[Dax Shepard]

I haven't been to Gun Lake.

[Monica Padman]

I'm actually going to talk about a more popular lake today that I hope you've heard of.

[Dax Shepard]

Torch.

[Monica Padman]

Yes.

[Dax Shepard]

Boom. Monica. That's pretty good. We have about, I don't know, 2000 lakes in Michigan.

[Katie]

That's good, because I Have not heard of it.

[Dax Shepard]

Torch Lake is among the most beautiful lakes in the world. National Geographic used to rank these lakes and it was always in the top 10. It looks like the Caribbean. It's crazy.

[Monica Padman]

Yes, very clear. Which will come in handy in my story later. Also, 4th of July, it's the place to be in Michigan.

[Dax Shepard]

And it's a chain of lakes, right? There's Elk, Torch and Higgins. Maybe they're all connected. Maybe that's enough geography for Veronica. Okay, so you're on Torch Lake. What year?

[Monica Padman]

Okay, so it's 2015. So I'm at the tail end of a gap year between undergrad at Michigan State. Go Green.

[Dax Shepard]

Go Spartans.

[Monica Padman]

And I'm going to U of M for grad school the next month.

[Dax Shepard]

Go Wolverines.

[Katie]

Great school.

[Monica Padman]

Living this fun in between life where I'm not really doing anything that has to do with my degree. Living downtown Grand Rapids with my roommates. All great things. And I'm 22 years old, so I'm in my binge drinking era.

[Dax Shepard]

Fuck yes, you are. And you're a Michigander. We're all mildly alcoholics.

[Monica Padman]

Yes, a little bit. Maybe it's like our ancestors, they all came here, had to get through that winter.

[Katie]

You know, American youth, we do that.

[Dax Shepard]

Well, I do think there's something that we mirror a little bit. Scandinavia. Like if you arrived in Michigan in the 1700s, you were like, Absolutely. Let's go. Seven months of gray and freezing. This is for me. That's a type.

[Monica Padman]

And it's top 10. One of the cloudiest places in the world. Country. I don't know. I'm a little bit of an armchair expert myself.

[Katie]

Wait, Michigan is.

[Dax Shepard]

Oh, it's so cloudy. Ew. Ew.

[Monica Padman]

I know. So we love the sun when we get it.

[Katie]

Oh, I didn't know that. All right.

[Monica Padman]

Have you been?

[Katie]

Yeah, I have. And I thought it was quite sunny.

[Dax Shepard]

She's been to Stevensonville, Grand Haven, all the Lake Michigan. We rented a house. She performed at Fox Theater in Detroit. She's been to Woodward Cruise. She's done it all.

[Katie]

It was sunny, though. I must have brought the sun.

[Monica Padman]

Absolutely.

[Abby]

Today is the worst day of Abby's life. The 17 year old cradles her newborn son in her arms.

[Dax Shepard]

They all saw how much I loved him.

[Emma]

They didn't have to take him from me.

[Abby]

Between 1945 and the early 1970s, families shipped their pregnant teenage daughters to maternity homes and forced them to secretly place their babies for adoption in hidden corners across America. It's still happening.

[Emma]

My parents had me locked up in The Godparent Home against my will. They worked with them to manipulate me and to steal my son away from me.

[Abby]

The Godparent Home is the brainchild of controversial preacher Jerry Falwell, the father of the modern evangelical rite and the founder of Liberty University, where powerful men, emboldened by their faith, determine who gets to be a parent and who must give their child away. Follow Liberty Lost on the Wondery app or wherever you get your podcasts.

[Nick]

This is Nick and this is Jack. We're best friends, ex finance guys and resident 90s experts. And every week on our podcast, the Best Idea yet, we're bringing you the untold stories behind your favorite products. For instance, can you guess which billion dollar fashion company went viral thanks to a rhinestone covered tracksuit? Or which cartoon turned four turtles into into a global toy empire by accident?

[Lara]

It started as a joke.

[Nick]

Last one. Which cold beverage was so hated by Starbucks they actually ended up acquiring it.

[Dax Shepard]

Spoiler.

[Nick]

The Frappuccino. Howard Schultz apparently thought cold coffee was super lame and then he bought it. From Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles to Juicy Couture to the Orange Mocha Frappuccino, Join us every week to learn how your favorite things got made. Follow the best idea yet on the Wonder app or wherever you get your podcast. And you can listen early and ad free right now by joining Wondering Plus. And if this podcast lasts longer than.

[Dax Shepard]

45 minutes, call your doctor.

[Monica Padman]

Okay, so for 4th of July, we're going to go camping up at Torch Lake. But again, we're just a group of 22 year old kids, so we didn't rent a house. There's no forethought, no money back then. I don't know if this is still a thing, but you could find state land and just camp there?

[Dax Shepard]

Sure.

[Monica Padman]

You had to like pull a permit and post it on the land and then that was legal. So that's what we did. One of my roommate's boyfriends looked up some state land that was nearby. It was eight minutes away from the lake. So we went, we brought our permit, we brought our five gallon bucket to poop in. You know, all the things that you need for camping. The night that we got there, after a few drinks, I had this clear moment where I was like, I need to pin my location and send it to my mom just in case anything happens. So I did that. I also met my college roommate's hot brother that night. He had just gotten back from the marines. Oh, have you guys ever played thunderstruck? It's a drinking game.

[Dax Shepard]

No, wait, maybe do you play it with acdc?

[Monica Padman]

Yeah. Every time they say thunder, you get in a group, like a circle. You've played it, Monica?

[Katie]

I have, yes. Is it a waterfall situation? I can't remember.

[Monica Padman]

Kind of. So you drink, and then once it says thunder again, the person next to you starts drinking and you stop drinking. So somebody gets thunder fucked. When there's a really long break between the thunders.

[Katie]

I miss polin.

[Dax Shepard]

This is fun. I miss being.

[Monica Padman]

It's like a throwback. So I got thunder fucked. I'm chugging my beer, and my roommate's hot brother offered me another one so I could keep going.

[Dax Shepard]

Oh, what a man.

[Katie]

What a gentleman.

[Dax Shepard]

Yeah, yeah.

[Monica Padman]

Of course. I was smitten. I was like, thank you.

[Dax Shepard]

So considerate.

[Monica Padman]

We ended up sitting by the fire and talking all night. The next day was the 4th of July, so we drove to the sandbar and we waited out to the sandbar for a full day of drinking. You're on the water, so we don't really have things with us. So we just left all our phones and stuff in the car and walked about a mile to get to the lake. After many drinks, I wandered away from my group to go look for hot brother.

[Dax Shepard]

I'm going to make a potentially inflammatory statement, and it's gendered. Girls love to get separated from the group. I've spent a lot of my 20s looking for people, and it was always a girl who got separated from the group.

[Katie]

That is so interesting. I feel completely the opposite.

[Dax Shepard]

Oh, really?

[Katie]

Yes.

[Dax Shepard]

Oh, interesting.

[Katie]

I've had multiple experiences where a guy's just gone.

[Dax Shepard]

Okay, so maybe it's not gender.

[Katie]

It's so annoying though.

[Dax Shepard]

It is. Stay with the fucking group. Where do you got to go?

[Monica Padman]

Well, in this situation, I had to go find hot brother. But I was known as a flight risk in college because I would just wander away. I wanted to make more friends. Dax.

[Dax Shepard]

I understand a flight risk.

[Monica Padman]

Anyway, while I'm out and about, I made some new friends. Cause that's the goal right along the journey. And the people that own houses on Torch Lake, they don't like us tourists coming.

[Dax Shepard]

Cause it's upscale.

[Monica Padman]

Yeah, it is. And we trash the lake. And I will just say I'm really sorry. Cause this was me. I had to poop.

[Dax Shepard]

Okay, sure. Yeah, yeah.

[Katie]

It's a long day and you didn't bring your bucket.

[Dax Shepard]

And even if you had, you would have pooped in the bucket and thrown in the lake.

[Monica Padman]

Right. So it's kind of blurry, but that's happening.

[Dax Shepard]

You would have gotten along with Aaron Weekly and I perfectly.

[Katie]

In the sand, or where did the people.

[Dax Shepard]

You're just standing in the water.

[Monica Padman]

In the water.

[Katie]

Oh, in the water.

[Monica Padman]

Oh, oh, oh. Got it behind somebody's boat, like my new friend's boat.

[Katie]

Okay. Now I have a logistical question about that. Are you moving the bathing suit to the side? Are you pulling down the bottom? Are you just going, no, you're pulling.

[Monica Padman]

It down in this situation. Too far off. And now they're gone.

[Dax Shepard]

Oh, my God, you're a mess. You're separated from the group. You're shitting behind a boat and you've lost your bottoms.

[Monica Padman]

Yeah. So I go over to the group and I'm like, I just lost my bathing suit. And luckily there are girls there, so they're like, come here's a towel. And I'm, like, sitting there. And I think that panic is starting to set in because I remember crying a little bit, like, what am I gonna do? So luckily, a guy with goggles and some scuba gear came and looked for my bathing suit. He found them.

[Dax Shepard]

Wow.

[Katie]

Hero.

[Dax Shepard]

Here's my fear. He's gonna come back and go like, oh, I found him and someone shit in the lake. Like, I thought he might find the turd with his goggle masks on.

[Monica Padman]

No.

[Katie]

Or it was in the underwear. He was like, I'm so sorry.

[Dax Shepard]

Someone, some fucking dirtbag shit in your bottoms.

[Monica Padman]

Luckily, that was not part of my story that weekend. At this point, I've been gone for a while, so I'm like, I should go find my friends. So I go back to where they were and they're not there.

[Katie]

Oh, no.

[Monica Padman]

And I think it's kind of late in the afternoon because a lot of people have kind of cleared out at this point. So I'm like, okay, I will get back to the shore. I remember where we parked. I will just walk back that way. Maybe I'll run into them. Maybe I can go sit next to the car until they get there, take a little nap. But after walking for a while, I couldn't find it. So there's people camping on that road. So I wander into somebody's campsite, and I'm like, hey, I've lost my friends. Can I borrow some water, a sweatshirt? Can you help me out here?

[Katie]

You are not afraid to ask for help. This is the second group of people you've asked for help.

[Dax Shepard]

I gotta say, though, this is. And maybe it's universal. This is very standard Michigan, too. When you're camping, there's always some gal wandering in your camp. She's a little Lost again. Maybe the boys are doing it too. But in my experience, there's a lot of random gals would wander in your camp.

[Monica Padman]

Oh, wow, It's Midwest. Nice. You know, so everybody wants to give you water and listen to you talk about your lost friends. Anyway, while I'm sitting there, a truck pulls up and this guy jumps out. And then a girl jumps out. And lo and behold, I went to college with this girl that jumps out of the truck. So I'm like, hey, Tara, how's it going? And she's like, hey, why are you here? So we're like chatting, and I'm like, well, I got lost. The guy who drove the truck was like, oh, I can drive you back if you need. I'm like, you don't have to. I'll find my way. And he's like, no, I think you need a ride. So I call my mom and I'm like, that pin drop that I sent you yesterday, Will you send it to this number I just called you on? And they're gonna take me back to my campsite. Cause I'm lost. And then they drive me. It's like a 10 minute drive. And it's state land, so I do have to kind of remember, like, where did we go in? Oh, pull off into the ditch here. So we like drive through these trees and luckily we emerge to my campsite. And when I get back, my best friends are crying because they left me on the sandbar. They weren't sure where I went. So it was really hard to make that drive back without your friend.

[Dax Shepard]

Yeah, it's really fun for the person who disappears. It's not so much fun for the group who thinks you're dead.

[Emma]

Exactly.

[Katie]

And there's water involved, like you could have drowned.

[Dax Shepard]

Oh, yeah, there's boats whipping by at 100 miles an hour.

[Monica Padman]

That is very true. I didn't really think about any of that. But they're all relieved. And then hot brother is making fun of me because a random truck drops me off. Anyway, the weekend ends and I got a Facebook message a couple days later from none other than best friend's hot brother. He was like, hey, what's up? Saw that truck when I was leaving Torch lake. That was 10 years ago. So 10 years later, hot brother and I are married.

[Katie]

Oh, my God.

[Dax Shepard]

Meet cute.

[Monica Padman]

Meet cute. I knew you'd love it. Monica.

[Katie]

I love him.

[Dax Shepard]

Take your pick. Unauthorized evacuation or meet cute.

[Katie]

When those two combine, it's the best.

[Dax Shepard]

Yeah, romance in a lake, turd.

[Katie]

Did you tell him about your poop?

[Monica Padman]

I Didn't tell him that weekend, but he knows now.

[Emma]

Wow.

[Katie]

Do you think he got jealous? He got jealous of the car that dropped you off?

[Dax Shepard]

It's a good start.

[Monica Padman]

Definitely. He's like, this girl can get random people to drop her. Back off. I better snatch her up.

[Dax Shepard]

If I don't lock her down, she'll disappear in two seconds.

[Katie]

Yeah, that's right.

[Dax Shepard]

She's a flight risk.

[Katie]

Wow.

[Dax Shepard]

Beautiful.

[Katie]

I love that.

[Dax Shepard]

Yeah, really nice.

[Monica Padman]

Well, you know what's funny, though, is my sister was supposed to come on the camping trip, and in mine and my roommate's mind, we were gonna hook him up with my sister, her brother, my sister. But she ended up having a surgery scheduled the day before, so she couldn't come.

[Katie]

Thank God.

[Dax Shepard]

What a blessing that she had to have surgery.

[Monica Padman]

I was real lucky.

[Katie]

Best surgery ever.

[Monica Padman]

Now we just laugh because that would have never worked. Their relationship would have been a dumpster fire.

[Katie]

How fun.

[Monica Padman]

Hot brother's here if you want to meet him.

[Dax Shepard]

We want to say hi.

[Katie]

Of course we do.

[Dax Shepard]

Oh, yeah.

[Katie]

Hot brother.

[Dax Shepard]

Hot brother is hot. How's it going?

[Monica Padman]

Right.

[Katie]

Nice to meet you.

[Monica Padman]

You as star of the show over here.

[Dax Shepard]

Yeah. You snagged a good one. Thank you.

[Matt]

Couldn't have happened without me.

[Monica Padman]

Yeah. Thanks for Facebook messaging me.

[Dax Shepard]

Yeah. All right, well, nice meeting y'.

[Monica Padman]

All.

[Dax Shepard]

That was great. Thank you so much.

[Monica Padman]

Nice to meet you, too.

[Dax Shepard]

All right, take care. Hello? Is this Matt?

[Matt]

This is Matt. Yes.

[Dax Shepard]

Nice to meet you, Matt. Where are you?

[Matt]

I'm in Grand Rapids, Michigan.

[Dax Shepard]

Get the flying fuck out of here. Our last call was from Grand Rapids.

[Monica Padman]

Yeah.

[Dax Shepard]

Is your story gonna take place on Torchlight?

[Matt]

It's not gonna take on Torch Lake, but it is on the beach.

[Katie]

Okay.

[Dax Shepard]

Okay, good. Did you grow up there?

[Matt]

Born and raised, Grand Rapids. Left for college for a little while, but then came back.

[Katie]

Do you know Lara?

[Dax Shepard]

L A R A Lara.

[Matt]

I do know a Lara. I doubt it's her.

[Dax Shepard]

She lives by Gun Lake.

[Matt]

The one I knew was from Ludington and then is now in Chicago.

[Dax Shepard]

I know Ludington. That's right, by Sleeping Bear Dunes. Sorry, Monica.

[Matt]

I knew we'd nerd out a little bit on geography. I got one for Monica.

[Katie]

Oh.

[Matt]

I have family who lives borderline Marietta in Kennesaw. They have three kids and their oldest son is a bulldog.

[Katie]

Oh, and look, I'm wearing a bulldog.

[Dax Shepard]

Oh, my God. Roll tide.

[Matt]

That's perfect.

[Katie]

What is wrong with you?

[Dax Shepard]

I just love that 100% of the time I get a reaction, I'm wondering, like, when I won't maybe It's a Michigan thing. We fucking love geography. Maybe because we're a state that's shaped sill.

[Katie]

You want to be mean and say a bad friend.

[Dax Shepard]

No geography. What's the new thing? I'm saying though, instead of there's a.

[Katie]

New thing, Texas or something, I don't know. Okay, something else.

[Dax Shepard]

Horrible.

[Matt]

Hook them horns.

[Dax Shepard]

Yeah, horrible. Where did you go to school?

[Matt]

I went to Purdue.

[Dax Shepard]

That's Indiana.

[Matt]

Yeah, I went to Purdue with a lot of Chicagoland folks. I'm going to include Rob in this one. I've been to Hoffman Estates.

[Katie]

You got us all.

[Dax Shepard]

Yeah, you really nailed this. And you went to the one place that could make. Make Michigan seem exotic, right, Exactly. Sorry, Indiana.

[Katie]

Wow, you're really on.

[Dax Shepard]

Well, remember we did interview someone from Indiana this week and he said he likes to claim Michigan. He lives in Gary or works in Gary. Remember he said that? He's like, I'd rather be known as being from Michigan, but I really live in Gary. Indy. Yeah, so they're in on it.

[Matt]

We don't want to claim Gary.

[Dax Shepard]

Okay, so hit us with your fourth of July story.

[Matt]

I was talking to some of my family members to try to remember exactly when this happened, but I'm going to place it somewhere between fifth and seventh grade. We have a family cottage out on Lake Michigan, just north of Holland. A lot of old cottages built on 50 foot wide lots and just everyone stacked up against each other going up and down the lake shore there. So fun, amazing thing to grow up with. We would spend most 4th of July's out there. My grandpa used to live out there full time and so we'd go out there on 4th of July, the whole extended family would get together, aunts and uncles, cousins, and of course we'd always be shooting off fireworks. And so. So I'm sure you guys are familiar with what we call the landings, but they're the decks that are built out over the dune. They're 3, 400ft away from the house, built out over the sand dunes right next to the beach. So we're out there trying our best to shoot the fireworks out over the water. One errant bottle rocket took a left turn and hit some dune grass. Okay, starts off, it's like it's a little fire, maybe the size of someone's foot. My dad jumps into action, he hops off the deck, off the railings, down to the dune grass and he goes over and he's trying to stomp it out and it's just not going out. The grass was so dry, it Was just kept burning. So he's like, we need to sprint into action. He runs all the way up to the house. He gets a blanket, soaks it in water. By the time he gets back, this thing is just spread. It's like 20 foot by 20 foot.

[Dax Shepard]

Oh, yeah. I was gonna say that's a lot of time to take to wet down a blanket.

[Matt]

It's just engulfing the entire side of the dune and just spreading. And the funny thing is the way the wind is blowing, it's blowing it south of us. So it's going away from our cottage and heading in the direction of our neighbors.

[Katie]

Did you start the fire in Pasadena, too?

[Lara]

No.

[Matt]

No, I didn't. I'm not gonna be held accountable. So it's just spreading and spreading and spreading and trying to get up the blanket. And we're like, well, we're going to need to do something, maybe get some hoses out here.

[Dax Shepard]

No one's talking about calling the fire department.

[Matt]

That's happening. But where we are in the lakeshore is pretty far from civilization. It's going to at least take them 20 minutes to get down there.

[Dax Shepard]

Right, Right. Okay.

[Matt]

We got the call out to the fire department, but, yeah, we're having to spring into action. And so my dad even looks over and he's like, well, the good news is underneath the deck, there's no grass. It doesn't grow down there. So by the time the fire gets to the neighbor's deck, at least it will slow it down a little bit. So everyone's running up, trying to grab some hoses. And then as soon as the flames even just touch the neighbor's deck just engulfs and tinderbox. I don't know if they had just stained it or what, but just wet it down with gasoline, up in flames. So it's just we're all standing there just mouths agape and just being like, oh, my goodness, what is happening?

[Dax Shepard]

Really quick. I just love when a dad's predictions are just immediately proven Falls over and over again. No problem. I'll stop it. Oh, shit. We're gonna need a blanket. No problem. Get a blanket. Oh, fuck. No. Don't worry. The deck won't catch up.

[Matt]

You know, when you're that age, you're like, my dad's an older guy. He knows what he's talking about. He's dealt with fire before.

[Dax Shepard]

Not his first rodeo.

[Matt]

Nope. It just shot up in flames. Being that the houses are set back a good 400ft, we were going to multiple neighbors, houses stringing together Hoses finally. Finally got it down there and hose everything down and got it under control. But the neighbor's deck, total loss right off. Once we finally get it all out, that's when the firefighters roll up. They walk up and they're like, so how'd the fire start? We're kind of sitting there being like, it's the Fourth of July fireworks. And the fire. Fire happened to be standing right next to a big bag of fireworks. And he just looks to the side, he's like.

[Dax Shepard]

Like.

[Matt]

Like those fireworks right there? Like. Yep. Just like those ones right at your feet. In the end, our neighbor wasn't pleased, but the insurance paid the deductible, and then he ended up building himself quite the luxurious deck.

[Dax Shepard]

Oh, okay. So kind of a win in the end.

[Matt]

I think it came out good for him in the end.

[Dax Shepard]

Great.

[Katie]

Oh, that's scary.

[Dax Shepard]

It just for the first time in my life occurred to me while you were telling that story. No firefighter has ever had the fourth of July off. Right. They must all be called in on the 4th of July.

[Matt]

Probably one of their biggest days.

[Dax Shepard]

That's their Super Bowl. Although as we just found out, the surgeons are not.

[Katie]

Yeah, that's true. They take holidays.

[Dax Shepard]

Yeah. Yes. They're gonna enjoy it. The fourth.

[Katie]

Wow. God, I'm glad he didn't burn down the whole state.

[Dax Shepard]

Yeah. It made me want to go so bad To Lake Michigan.

[Katie]

Yeah.

[Dax Shepard]

In the summer. It's so fun this time of year.

[Matt]

That's where you want to be. It's so nice.

[Dax Shepard]

It almost makes the rest of the year worth it. But it doesn't.

[Matt]

It's close. My wife and I are always joking. We're like, how can we get our lives to a point where we can just leave for a few months? Just January, February, just kind of get out of there.

[Dax Shepard]

Maybe even March too. That's an annoying month because it's misleading.

[Matt]

Yeah. You get the 170 degree day, and then it's just all of a sudden it snows again, and you're like, I'm done with this.

[Dax Shepard]

Well, Matt, it's a delight to meet you. You're a good representative of the.

[Matt]

When I was asking my family members to give their best recount of the story, I never remembered who exactly lit off the fire work, but apparently it's been an ongoing feud between my dad and my brother. They both blame each other for starting the fire. At least I know my hands are clean.

[Katie]

I'm gonna blame your dad.

[Dax Shepard]

I think we should blame fireworks. They're just highly unpredictable. Even if you're like the most skilled deployer of fireworks. They go sideways.

[Matt]

This was a time when the good fireworks were not legal in Michigan. These were actually a haul from Indiana.

[Dax Shepard]

Yeah, that's what we do love about Indiana is you can buy M80s there.

[Matt]

Exactly.

[Dax Shepard]

Monica, you would get a bang on. Is it like. And Georgia all along the Michigan, Indiana border. Anywhere where there's a border, it's just endless fireworks stands. They're clearly just selling to Michiganders.

[Matt]

Now we have it in the reverse where we have all the cannabis stores along the border. Because it's still not legal in Indiana.

[Dax Shepard]

There should be a little swap. They should bring up a bunch of fireworks and trade it for weed.

[Katie]

Barter system.

[Dax Shepard]

Well, delightful meeting you, man. I hope you have a wonderful fourth this year.

[Matt]

Hopefully less fires.

[Katie]

Yeah, fingers crossed.

[Dax Shepard]

All right, take care, brother.

[Matt]

See you later.

[Dax Shepard]

Bye.

[Katie]

Two Michiganders.

[Dax Shepard]

I wouldn't be shocked if we get a third.

[Katie]

Let's get some Southern blood in here.

[Dax Shepard]

Kevin, can you hear us?

[Lara]

This is really happening.

[Katie]

Hi.

[Dax Shepard]

You sound spectacular, Kevin.

[Katie]

You sound clear.

[Dax Shepard]

Tell me about this headset. Are you a gamer?

[Lara]

My sons? I am a gamer, but too much of a parent for that nowadays.

[Dax Shepard]

Sure, sure, sure. And you got a model. Good behavior.

[Lara]

I try.

[Dax Shepard]

What are the limits? A, I don't have boys, and B, I was like, there's no games in that. That's the one thing I'm a dick about. What are the limits for a boy?

[Lara]

Violence and sexuality depending on, like. My oldest is 14, my middle is 11. And then I've got a daughter, too. Fortnite's okay, but Call of Duty is a little too much.

[Katie]

Okay, got it.

[Dax Shepard]

Okay. Where are you at?

[Lara]

I'm in Cincinnati. I'm 400 miles, about four hours or so from Cedar Point.

[Dax Shepard]

Oh, yeah, Cincy. I 75.

[Katie]

How often do you.

[Lara]

Not very often. We have another amusement park close by.

[Dax Shepard]

Kings Island.

[Lara]

Very good.

[Dax Shepard]

Yes. Yes. The beast.

[Katie]

Is that a Six Flags one?

[Lara]

It's a Cedar Point property. It's not Cedar Point, but the same.

[Katie]

Ownership group, which I think is Six Flags.

[Dax Shepard]

Well, now they've merged. Well, someone did. Correct. It was a merger, not a acquisition.

[Katie]

I choose not to take that.

[Dax Shepard]

Okay, so you have a crazy Fourth of July story.

[Lara]

I do. So my family grew up in the east coast, moved to Ohio. My dad got transferred. I was in elementary school. We were always Fourth of July people. My sister was July 4th. Hundreds of dollars every year on fireworks and a big show and a big party, and it was our rager. So in 2020, after years of looking I was able to secure basically the bigger fireworks. So they sell the 1 inch version. I got a 2 and a 3 inch version of the mortars.

[Katie]

Mortars?

[Dax Shepard]

Yeah. So for people who don't know, it's a long tube and that's empty. And then you drop in this ball and you've lit the wick and it explodes and propels up into the air. But you're reusing this mortar tube over and over again.

[Katie]

Okay.

[Lara]

So the ones they sell are about an inch. They're like a golf ball. I was able to procure through people double the size and triple the size of that after years of trying.

[Dax Shepard]

Yeah, I got some of those in Wyoming. They're pretty loosey goosey there with those.

[Lara]

They're intense. So the added layer troll of this is my sister's birthday was July 4th. She was diagnosed with cancer. So we're talking 2020. She's been sick a couple years, so it became that much more intense of a year. Just to have a good time.

[Dax Shepard]

Yes.

[Lara]

My parents have a lot of acres. We're about 200ft from any building. Lighting things off. And the fuse on the big ones is really fast, like. Like instantaneous, practical. So we rigged them so we could light a sort of fuse and run away. And the first one we tried didn't work. So one of the guests at the party is like, that's weird. Takes it into the barn, which is a 30 by 40 foot pole. Barn. Yep, you already got it.

[Dax Shepard]

Metal or wood?

[Lara]

Metal. Well, it's got wood struts, but it's like a kit, basically. But it's big. Cuts off 3 inches of wick, holds them in a pair of pliers and decides to light it because he wants to see how fast this thing really goes off.

[Dax Shepard]

Okay.

[Lara]

It burns instantaneously right through the piece he's holding and catches the one that he cut it off of that's sitting on the table in front of him.

[Katie]

Oh.

[Lara]

And sets it off.

[Dax Shepard]

Oh.

[Lara]

I'm 200ft away. Happen to be walking towards the golf cart, which is between me and the barn, and I see the explosion.

[Dax Shepard]

Oh, wow.

[Lara]

So this is just the piece that's supposed to launch it in the air. And I see it go off and I dead sprint to the barn. Just as I'm about halfway there, the actual firework goes off. And I see flames come out of the ceiling.

[Dax Shepard]

Oh.

[Lara]

I see the largest explosion I've ever seen in my entire life.

[Katie]

Oh, my God.

[Lara]

Inside an enclosed space.

[Katie]

And he's in there.

[Lara]

I didn't know who Was in there. So the whole family's next to the barn. They're, you know, 50ft away outside, but sitting there. So we're thinking we're safe. We're really far away, suiting off all this stuff. I get through the door into the barn. Place is filled with smoke. I'm looking on the ground thinking that's where I'm going to see. Anybody? Nothing. There's a compressor that all of the lines got destroyed. So the compressor's running and you see air hissing and hear looked like a war zone. I start screaming, get away from the barn. Get away from the barn. Because there's gas, there's diesel, there's oil. They have a farm, so there's farm equipment in it. I get out the other side. My uncle's there being tended to by my aunt and my brother in law. Everyone else is cleared away. So luckily not for him. It went off. It hit him instead of going into the fuel room that was behind him.

[Dax Shepard]

Oh, he ruined the day and saved the day.

[Lara]

There were other fireworks on the table that also went off.

[Emma]

Oh, my God.

[Lara]

So the second explosion was both the large firework going off and a whole bunch of what are essentially M80s also going off.

[Dax Shepard]

Wow.

[Lara]

So I think I sent a couple pictures.

[Dax Shepard]

Oh, let's see the. I've seen footage of actual firework factories that have caught on fire and that is really spectacular. Oh, yeah, there's. I'm just gonna count. 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10, 11, 12, 13, 14, 15, 16 mortar tubes here. You're overly armed for this holiday.

[Lara]

You can see the legs of the stool next to it. Yeah, that was sitting on the stool. The explosion went off on the floor. That bare spot is where that tile used to be. All of the ceiling tiles got blown out. There's actual scorch marks on the wood on the roof from where the fireball left the building and scorched the wood.

[Dax Shepard]

Oh. What kind of damage did the perpetrator of this crime endure?

[Lara]

He was okay. He was feeling it for several days. He had a pretty good bruise. No internal bleeding. Thankfully, we had some people in the medical field that were there to tend to him the day of. But at the time, my kids were 4, 7 and 9. 9. So they were right there. And for several years we stopped with fireworks. We didn't attend anymore. But after years of trying, I finally get my hands on something that's really powerful and I get to watch it golf inside a barn.

[Dax Shepard]

And the guy who did it, was he a family member or did he marry in?

[Lara]

He was a family member.

[Dax Shepard]

Oh, thank God.

[Lara]

And he felt awful. He paid for all the damage. He obviously literally felt awful.

[Dax Shepard]

Yeah, but if you were like a son in law and you pulled that or a brother in law, that would be rough.

[Monica Padman]

Made.

[Lara]

Was my sister's birthday and it ended up being her last birthday.

[Katie]

I mean, it was memorable.

[Lara]

It was memorable. We didn't touch fireworks for a couple years. The kids still all remember it. Yeah. Remember when the barn blew up?

[Dax Shepard]

Yeah.

[Lara]

And my oldest, his survival instinct kicked in because I was yelling, get away from the barn, thinking, you know, it's going to catch on fire. And he just took off.

[Katie]

Good.

[Lara]

So my wife grabbed the younger two and carried them and is like, where's the oldest? He was already standing in the garage. Everyone's ears were ringing. People couldn' don't mess with fireworks now. No fireworks. Go inside the barn. It's all outside.

[Dax Shepard]

I can only be so judgmental because I did this similar situation on New Year's Eve. The mortar fell over right before it shot. And then. Yeah, all hell broke loose.

[Lara]

This is how intense we are. My dad had stainless steel tubes built, so if you put the mortar in upside down, it just goes ping. It won't break it.

[Dax Shepard]

Oh, yeah. Okay.

[Katie]

Maybe we stick with the legal one. Fun. Maybe some sparklers, you know, or some regular old sparklers.

[Lara]

The legal ones are legal for a reason.

[Katie]

Yeah, that's right.

[Dax Shepard]

What are your plans this year?

[Lara]

We'll go up to my parents house and probably do something a little more tame than usual. But they've got a pool and dogs and go karts.

[Dax Shepard]

Go carts. Yes. Well, Kevin, great meeting you.

[Katie]

Yes.

[Dax Shepard]

Yeah. Have a happy 4th. Enjoyed the summer.

[Lara]

You too.

[Monica Padman]

Thank you.

[Dax Shepard]

Take care, brother.

[Katie]

You really can do some damage with these fireworks. This is also cautionary tale, you know.

[Dax Shepard]

High reward, high risk.

[Katie]

Mainly high risk.

[Dax Shepard]

I love fireworks.

[Katie]

I love fireworks at a big place.

[Dax Shepard]

At a city like a municipal firework display.

[Katie]

Yeah, we went in Michigan to some nice ones.

[Dax Shepard]

Oh, the bass.

[Katie]

Those were nice.

[Dax Shepard]

The absolute best. In Benton Harbor, I think they were going off over the pier. That long. They were sitting on the beach. That might be one of my very favorite. Favorite. I'm gonna say my favorite. Wow, that was so kind of enchanted. Storybook.

[Katie]

Dreamy storybook.

[Dax Shepard]

It looked like a set. Like if they were gonna make a movie and the family had the nice fire, that would be it.

[Katie]

Yeah. We also in the town, they would always do it at this place called River Glen.

[Dax Shepard]

That's not what it's called in Duluth. Yeah.

[Katie]

So the whole town would go and you'd go early and you set up your picnics and you hang out all day in your blanket and then the fireworks would start.

[Dax Shepard]

It's a fun holiday. It is.

[Katie]

Is.

[Dax Shepard]

Well, enjoy, everybody. Enjoy your Fourth of July. We love you.

[Katie]

Be safe and be happy and get.

[Dax Shepard]

A little wild so it's memorable in a safe way. Okay.

[Katie]

All right, bye.

[Matt]

Do you want to sing a tune or something?

[Monica Padman]

A theme song?

[Dax Shepard]

Oh, okay, great. We don't have a them song for this new show, so here I go, go, go. We're going to add some rant random questions and with the help of armchairs, we'll get some suggestions on the fly rhyme dish on the fire rhyme dish.

[Matt]

Enjoy.

[Dax Shepard]

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