Armchair Anonymous: Cops

Summary

Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Episode Title: Armchair Anonymous: Cops
Release Date: July 18, 2025
Host: Dax Shepard
Guests: Monica Padman, Nick, Sydney, Devon, Anna

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Introduction

In this compelling episode of Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard, titled "Armchair Anonymous: Cops," Dax Shepard, alongside co-host Monica Padman, delves into riveting and often humorous police-related anecdotes shared by listeners. The episode offers a blend of suspense, comedy, and heartfelt moments as guests recount their unique encounters with law enforcement.

Listener Stories: Encounters with the Law

1. Nick's High School Shenanigans

[04:06 - 13:24]

Nick from Plano, Texas, shares a hilarious yet tense story from his high school days. On the last day of his senior year in May 2006, Nick and his friends—Alan and Steve—decide to hang out after a long day of finals. What starts as a casual group nap quickly spirals into a chaotic scenario involving mooning a police officer.

Key Highlights:

• The Mooning Incident:
  Nick explains: “We ended up getting closer, and I realize it's a cop car... I decide to let this ride and not say anything” [06:22].

• The Chase:
  Dax observes: “One guy's dick's out the door and another guy's ass is about to be at the other side” [06:22].

• Escaping the Chase:
  Nick recounts: “We pulled out a firearm and started shooting” [08:01]—a moment that showcases the absurd escalation of their actions.

• Aftermath and Reflection:
  Despite the initial fear, Nick and his friends manage to evade the cop, reflecting humorously on their narrow escape. Nick adds, “We absconded with it” [25:00].

Notable Quote:
"People think you mugged that guy. So let's shoot this person who saw us." —Nick [10:56]

2. Sydney's Suspicious Stop

[19:35 - 27:37]

Sydney from Fort Wayne, Indiana, recounts a troubling experience during her freshman year in college. While returning from a late-night football game with her family, Sydney's father is pulled over by an unmarked police car under suspicious circumstances.

Key Highlights:

• Initial Pull-Over:
  Sydney describes: “An unmarked police car pulled out, and the officer was wearing basketball shorts and a cutoff T-shirt” [22:23].

• Doubt and Verification:
  Concerned by the officer's appearance and conduct, Sydney's mother calls 911 to verify the legitimacy of the stop.

• Escalation to Real Police Intervention:
  The dispatcher confirms the officer was not legitimate, leading to a rapid deployment of real police units. Sydney explains, “We had to go up the road and identify him” [25:00].

• Police Response:
  Sydney shares: “An hour-long search... turns out he had taken a plea bargain” [26:37].

Notable Quote:
"It's really freaky to think about what would have happened if he had some sort of weapon on him." —Sydney [26:47]

3. Devon's Childhood Encounter

[32:37 - 49:44]

Devon from Lafayette, Louisiana, brings a poignant and intense narrative from her childhood. At the age of eight, Devon witnesses her father, a police officer, confront a suspicious man who mistakenly believes Devon is someone else's daughter.

Key Highlights:

• The Misunderstanding:
  Devon narrates: “A big white lifted truck pulls up, and a man grabs my wrist. Later, he follows us home” [43:30].

• Confrontation at Home:
  As Devon lays in her room, she hears a commotion and sees her father heroically subdue the intruder.
  Devon recalls: “My dad is like a spider monkey on this guy's back” [46:13].

• Emotional Impact:
  The incident leaves a lasting impression on Devon, highlighting her father's bravery and the fragility of childhood security.

• Personal Reflection:
  Devon shares a heartfelt moment, revealing her father's unexpected passing two days before her high school graduation, adding depth to her story.

Notable Quote:
"He's a big man, but he's struggling. And so I grab my dad's phone, I call my parents... This is how I die." —Devon [46:36]

Discussions and Insights

Throughout the episode, Dax Shepard and Monica Padman engage with the guests, offering humorous interjections and poignant reflections. These interactions highlight the unpredictability of human experiences and the often fine line between humor and genuine fear in encounters with authority figures.

Key Points:

• Absurdity vs. Seriousness: The stories oscillate between comical missteps and serious confrontations, illustrating the complexity of human behavior under pressure.

• Youth and Impulsivity: Many stories stem from youthful decisions, emphasizing how impulsivity can lead to unforeseen consequences.

• Parental Influence: Devon's story underscores the profound impact of parental figures, especially those in protective roles like law enforcement officers.

Notable Quote:
"It's a real comedy of errors for sure." —Monica Padman [11:05]

Conclusion

Armchair Expert's "Armchair Anonymous: Cops" offers a multifaceted exploration of personal experiences with law enforcement. Through engaging storytelling and candid discussions, the episode underscores the unpredictable nature of human interactions with authority, the influence of upbringing, and the enduring bonds of friendship and family. Listeners are left with a nuanced understanding of how such encounters shape personal growth and societal perceptions.

Selected Quotes with Timestamps

• Nick:
  "We're Getting ourselves amped up. There's nothing better than directionless energy for 18 year old." [04:35]

• Sydney:
  "This is the way this has to be illegal, because anyone can just pretend." [22:34]

• Devon:
  "This was completely my own fault." [36:28]

• Monica Padman:
  "When cops are involved, things get very heated." [39:10]

• Dax Shepard:
  "If you are ever in somewhere as remote as where we were or in a situation where you don't feel safe pulling over, you can call 911." [25:39]

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This episode masterfully blends humor with gravity, offering listeners both laughter and moments of deep reflection. Whether it's Nick's youthful antics, Sydney's unsettling experience, or Devon's touching childhood memory, each story contributes to a richer understanding of the human condition and our interactions with those sworn to protect us.

Transcript

[Dax Shepard]

Wondry plus subscribers can listen to Armchair Expert early and ad free right now. Join Wondry plus in the Wondry app or on Apple podcasts or you can listen for free wherever you get your podcasts. Welcome, welcome, welcome to Armchair Anonymous. I'm Dax Shepard and I'm joined by Monica Padman. And today we're going to hear crazy cop stories.

[Monica Padman]

Ah, yes, yes. Should we just go ahead and tell people no cops called in. Except one is about a cop family member. Family member.

[Dax Shepard]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. We didn't know what to take away from that. Do we not have enough police officer listeners?

[Monica Padman]

We probably don't.

[Dax Shepard]

We probably don't. Or they're really secretive about their stuff or they're busy. Or they're busy. But these folks were not busy and we got to talk to them. And we now have some delicious crazy cop stories. Please enjoy. We are supported by Liquid iv.

[Monica Padman]

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[Dax Shepard]

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[Monica Padman]

Yeah, I'm going to Palm Springs this summer. Last time I went, it hit records like 120 degrees. We were busting out the Liquid IV and we're going to do it again.

[Dax Shepard]

Yeah, you just dump it right in the bottle and you're good to go.

[Monica Padman]

Oh, and they have a new flavor, Arctic raspberry, which I'm so excited to try.

[Dax Shepard]

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[Monica Padman]

Hi, Nick.

[Dax Shepard]

Can you hear us?

[Nick]

I can hear you.

[Dax Shepard]

Did you grow up in an area where that song was popular in commercials? If you dare wear short shorts Nair wear short shorts.

[Nick]

I don't remember that one.

[Dax Shepard]

It was for a hair removal product called Nair. Do you remember that money?

[Monica Padman]

Yeah, we used Nair. Tried it on all kinds of places.

[Dax Shepard]

Oh, wow.

[Monica Padman]

But I don't remember that jingle.

[Dax Shepard]

Where did you grow up, Nick?

[Nick]

I grew up in Keller, Texas, just north of Fort Worth.

[Monica Padman]

I bet there was Nair in Texas.

[Dax Shepard]

Oh, sure. Those women know how to take care of themselves.

[Nick]

Yeah, we had a couple of jingles that were stuck in my head. It's like, call 267-8433. Because the next thing to do is down Worth clean. That ran 20 years ago. Still stuck in my head.

[Dax Shepard]

That's a good jingle. That's a keeper. Are you still in Texas?

[Nick]

Yes. I live in Plano, which is just east of that. So, like, just north of Dallas.

[Dax Shepard]

I've driven through Plano a few times. And are you in law enforcement?

[Monica Padman]

Yeah.

[Nick]

No, I'm not in law enforcement.

[Dax Shepard]

You're not in law enforcement? Okay. Okay. You never know. These could go either way. All right, so tell us your story.

[Nick]

Okay. So it's a stormy, dreary day in late May. Keller, Texas, 2006. And it's the last day of my senior year of high school. The last day was a short day. We had taken a couple of finals, and it had been storming a lot, especially all that morning. And so me and my two best friends decide we're going to head back to my buddy Steve's house to figure out what we're going to do with the rest of the day. So we get to his place and sit down on the couch. And I don't know if it's the weather or the collective unclenching being done with high school, but we all pass out. Within minutes, we're all asleep, just on the ground.

[Dax Shepard]

Wow. A group nap.

[Nick]

An hour or so later, my buddy Steve wakes up and begins berating us for being super lame. You know, like, it's the last day of school. We're sleeping on the ground. And so he's like, we got to get up. We got to go do something. We're Getting ourselves amped up. There's nothing better than directionless energy for 18 year old.

[Dax Shepard]

Nothing dangerous about that.

[Nick]

Right? Exactly. So to kind of set the players for this story. And so it's me and my two best friends at the time. One's name is alan. He's like 672-75- shoulder length, red hair, looks like a Viking.

[Monica Padman]

Wow.

[Dax Shepard]

Yeah.

[Nick]

So my buddy Steve hadn't quite grown into his adult male form. He was all gangly, he was long limbs, long fingers. Right. Just an awkward looking dude. And so we all pile into my car and the car here is important because it's where most of the story takes place. To surprise me for just after my 16th birthday, my father brought home a manual cherry red Saturn station wagon.

[Dax Shepard]

Yeah, I know that vehicle.

[Nick]

Ugly car. I hated it. I don't know if my dad was going for a form of birth control. It was the worst. And so we all pile into my car. Alan takes the front passenger seat, Steve takes the back seat. Alan has a hard time fitting into most cars because of his size, but that little station wagon he really struggled with. So the road from Steve's house back to town is like an old country road. And so we get a little ways down this road and then Alan decides, he's like, hey, I got to go to the bathroom. I think we're going to whataburger or my place. I said, well, when we get there, you can go there. He's like, no, I got to go right now. I was like, well, what do you want me to do? And he's like, I'm just going to pee out the door. So he unbuckles, opens the passenger side door, lodges himself in the frame, and then does his business. So Steve slides over behind my side because he doesn't want to be on that side of the car at the moment. And he's kind of amping himself up and he's like, I got to moon somebody. I want to moon the next car.

[Dax Shepard]

All things are really escalating. Yeah, they're unraveling. One guy's dick's out the door and another guy's ass is about to be at the other side.

[Nick]

Normal 18 year old activity. So his head hits the back seat, his ass hits the back window. As we're going down the road up ahead at the crest of kind of the largest hill, I can see a large tree branch that has kind of fallen in the road. I can see the front of a car and I can just kind of see somebody's walking towards this branch. Somebody's going to clear it. And so I tell Steve. I was like, hey, there's somebody out here clearing this branch in the middle of the road. This is perfect. Let's just moon that guy.

[Monica Padman]

The Good Samaritan.

[Dax Shepard]

Well, that's the reward.

[Nick]

So as we kind of hit the bottom of this hill and we start coming up, I realize now that this is a cop car that's at the top of this hill, and it's an officer that's walking to clear this br branch.

[Dax Shepard]

Oh, boy.

[Nick]

And also, as we're kind of going towards it, I realize I'm the only one who can see this. Alan's preoccupied looking out the right side door. Steve's ass is against the window with his face in the seat. I kind of come to the split second decision that I'm just gonna let this ride. I'm not gonna say anything, oh, wow, let this happen.

[Dax Shepard]

Strange decision.

[Monica Padman]

Yeah, because you could be in trouble.

[Nick]

See, that hadn't quite factored in. In my mind. I was like, this is gonna be hilarious. So we end up getting closer, and obviously, because he's in the road, I slow down. So we get down to 10, 15 miles an hour. This part, as I remember it, is always in slow motion because he's walking up to the street ra his normal thing. He looks at me, he lifts his hand in greeting, and all those micro emotions play across his face. He goes from bemused and kind of just happy to angry, confused, and bewildered as he notices the splat pressed against the back passenger window. It's at this point that Alan finishes, right? So he rolls back into the car and closes the door, looks over and just nonchalantly goes, oh, that's a cop. And Steve jumps up in the back of the seat. He's like, I just moved a cop. He's like, we gotta run. We can't do this. We gotta get out of here. At this point, I'm realizing, oh, this might be something you get arrested for. So I slam on the accelerator and take off.

[Monica Padman]

My God, he started chase.

[Dax Shepard]

These are like the series of decisions that are being made. So I pull out a firearm and just start shooting.

[Nick]

Steve and Al at the same time are like, we got to get off the road. Take a left right here. So I hit the brakes and take a hard left. Quiz for you, Dax. If you suddenly accelerate and then take a hard left and hit the brakes on a wet road, what happens?

[Dax Shepard]

We're going to do a little spinny, right?

[Nick]

So we slide. But I managed to make the entrance to this neighborhood. But Then I hit the ditch right afterwards and take out a speed limit sign.

[Dax Shepard]

Oh, I see. You locked the front end and you couldn't steer any longer, basically, right.

[Nick]

My back end is kind of back and looking towards the road. We kind of paused for a second, and then I tried to get my bearings. Tried like, is the car okay? What's the cop doing? And so then I hit the accelerator, and our wheels just spin, and I just start kicking mud out of the back of my car. And at this same time, a minivan comes up the road, kind of blocks the entrance to this neighborhood. The cop is just a little bit of ways up. His lights are on because he's out of his car, and he's over here waving at us, waving at this van. But he's also, like, looking back at this tree limb that he's got to clear. The limb is sizable. A grown man could clear it, but with some effort, right? So he's kind of in a predicament. But because this van is so close, I just coat the back of this van in mud. The poor driver of this van was just confused and bewildered. As this cop is waving at him, the car is getting pelted with mud. It felt like a really long time. I Bet it was 15 to 30 seconds. And so Alan starts bouncing up and down in the seat. Eventually, we get purchase, and we slip out of this ditch and hit the road. Basically take off into this neighborhood, and we make it a little bit of ways down, and I look in the rear viewer, and at this point, the cop has resolved his issue. He's cleared the branch. He's in his car. He's coming after us. We're, like, trying to figure. Figure out what exactly we're going to do. But we also all realized at the same time that we're on our home turf. We've driven these roads our entire life. We know the exact ins and outs of these neighborhoods. So these old neighborhoods, like, there's lots of cul de sacs and roads that kind of loop around, that kind of stuff. And so it's really easy to get lost if you don't know exactly where you're going. Maybe the cop did as well. You know, he's a local officer. But we really knew these specific roads. We immediately go into planning mode, like, take a ride on Maple. Planning our exit was like, if we can go enough rights and lefts to break line of sight from this cop, we think we can get away. He came after us really hard, but he was always, like, one turn behind us, right so Steve's looking out the back, basically giving us the play by play.

[Dax Shepard]

And also really quick. Nick, you live in a pretty small town, right? Oh, yeah. In your mind though, you're like, yeah, all I gotta do is get away. As if you're not gonna pass the same car the next day downtown, where's away. There's no hiding in a small town.

[Nick]

That's true. Yeah. We fly through this area and we eventually lose it. We take a couple of turns and he's no longer on our tail. And we basically head towards the exit that we were planning for. And we slowly creep up to this ex. We didn't want to like stick our nose out in case he was on the main road that we were coming up to. And we look left and we see nothing. We look right and we see a cop, lights on, heading away from us. Whether it was the same cop, I don't know, maybe he called for backup and they were heading like towards where we were. But so we basically just like wait for him to get a little bit further away and then slowly take a left and just kind of head off. And we ended up taking all the back roads we could basically to get to my house. And we went inside, you know, locked the doors. We were like, we're going nowhere. We're hiding. That's how my buddy mooned a cop. And then we got in a car chase and we escaped.

[Monica Padman]

Wow.

[Dax Shepard]

I like to adding much more serious offenses in response to maybe questionably not even an offense.

[Monica Padman]

I agree.

[Dax Shepard]

Oh, no. I think they think that we mugged that guy. So let's shoot this person who saw us.

[Monica Padman]

Exactly.

[Dax Shepard]

Who's confused.

[Monica Padman]

It's a real comedy of errors for sure. I feel like your friend who was peeing. That's really risky. The door could have slammed on his penis.

[Dax Shepard]

Well, first of all, you're granting him an enormous penis that from his seat, it's making his way out to the door jamb.

[Monica Padman]

Well, isn't he peeing out the door?

[Dax Shepard]

Yeah, but if you roll over to the. The edge of the door is below you. But if you slam the door, it just hit your dick. He's not snaking it upside. Cracked the door and is peen down into that gap.

[Nick]

He's got it open a pretty good amount. He lodged his whole frame in that door frame. It took a lot to get him in the car. It would have taken a lot to get him out of the car.

[Dax Shepard]

Sounds agile for a big guy.

[Monica Padman]

Cautionary tale. Don't be out of the car because you might get your dick slammed.

[Dax Shepard]

Okay. I think more cautionary tales, like if you pee out of the car and you see a cop, just deal with that. Don't get in a high speed chase through a residential area. Oh, I get such a little burst of fun nostalgia when you said you got out of class and then you went to a friend's, and you got to figure out what you're going to do for the rest of the day. I love.

[Monica Padman]

I know. Me too.

[Dax Shepard]

Oh, what a time.

[Nick]

Yeah, it was great. As the years go by, I kind of reflect on this story from, like, the officer's perspective.

[Devon]

Right.

[Nick]

Like, he's just going about his day, and then he gets out of his car, walks up, and then this car slowly drives by with a butt just pressed to the back. And then the car speeds up, freaks out, hits a ditch, and then a car comes up behind him, and then the car just coats that car in mud. From his perspective, it must have been wild.

[Dax Shepard]

Well, yeah, he's assuming you have something very illegal in the car. Firearms or drugs. There's some reason you guys are now smashing into signs, Some public property damage with that sign.

[Monica Padman]

Yep. You hit a few things there.

[Nick]

We actually went back the next day, and that sign was still there, so we absconded with it.

[Monica Padman]

Oh, my God.

[Dax Shepard]

Okay, so you stole. Guys are really looking to get in trouble, and you didn't. And those boys, they made it to adult maturity. They're thriving.

[Nick]

Oh, yeah. Steve, he's actually my best friend, best man at my wedding. He's actually the one who introduced me to the podcast. So I really can't think of a better way to repay him for that than to embarrass him in front of millions of people.

[Dax Shepard]

Yes. I like it. I applaud it.

[Monica Padman]

Yeah, that's nice.

[Dax Shepard]

Well, it's great meeting you, Nick.

[Monica Padman]

Yeah, thanks for sharing.

[Nick]

Yeah, you too.

[Dax Shepard]

All right, take care, brother.

[Monica Padman]

Dax, did that story make you sad? Why are your eyes all red?

[Dax Shepard]

Well, no, it didn't make me sad at all, but now I'm curious why my eyes are all red.

[Monica Padman]

Yeah, they look. Look like you've been crying.

[Dax Shepard]

I've been crying? No, I worked out and drank pre workout. Now I'm concerned. Now I want to see. Hold on, let me see. What?

[Monica Padman]

They look a little less red than they did a minute ago.

[Dax Shepard]

Okay.

[Monica Padman]

It's on the up and up. Do you see what I mean?

[Dax Shepard]

I'm taking a photograph, then I'm gonna zoom in. Is it right there you're talking about?

[Monica Padman]

Yeah, that one is very red.

[Dax Shepard]

That's probably from lifting.

[Monica Padman]

Oh, my God.

[Nick]

Pop the blood vessel in your eye.

[Dax Shepard]

I don't know. I do think my eyes are going to red. I think they're dying. I feel very vulnerable with my eyes.

[Monica Padman]

You do?

[Dax Shepard]

I do. The rest of my body feels very bullish and viral, but my eyes feel like they're in decline and I don't know where it's gonna stop.

[Monica Padman]

Okay, well.

[Dax Shepard]

And now they're popping. They seem to be popping out the sides. Maybe it's just my Bob's big boy shirt made the red pop.

[Monica Padman]

It might be that I'll put my.

[Dax Shepard]

Eye drops in before the fact check.

[Monica Padman]

Okay. Also, it's important for me to say that my brother was almost named Alan.

[Dax Shepard]

Oh, he was.

[Monica Padman]

Yes.

[Dax Shepard]

I'm glad you told us.

[Monica Padman]

I took the time to tell him.

[Dax Shepard]

Ye. Okay.

[Monica Padman]

Actually, I was thinking about mooning. Do you think anyone has been mooning and then they get freaked out and they fart and poop on the window?

[Dax Shepard]

No, I don't think that happens.

[Devon]

I think that's happened.

[Dax Shepard]

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[Monica Padman]

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[Dax Shepard]

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[Monica Padman]

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[Dax Shepard]

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[Monica Padman]

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[Dax Shepard]

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[Sydney]

Hi. I was so hoping I would hear you guys talking about poop when I logged on.

[Dax Shepard]

Well, we delivered.

[Monica Padman]

That's a 99% chance.

[Sydney]

It's what we all come for.

[Dax Shepard]

Yeah, we were just debriefing because the previous caller involved some mooning. While you were saying that, Monica, she was curious if anyone has farted and pooped while they're mooning, but I don't think so.

[Monica Padman]

Everything's happened in life.

[Dax Shepard]

That's true.

[Monica Padman]

So it's definitely happened.

[Dax Shepard]

But my question is, I've done a lot of mooning as a kid, especially because my brother had a license. You know, I was 11, so I was constantly hanging my butt out the window to amuse him.

[Monica Padman]

You hung it out or up against the window?

[Dax Shepard]

No, I would roll the window down and hang my whole butt out the window. My thought, though, is like, like, I've done that a bunch of times. I've never been mooned. Either of you been mooned?

[Sydney]

I don't think so.

[Monica Padman]

I have. People did it on the school bus a lot.

[Dax Shepard]

Internally or towards the window or just to the other classmates.

[Monica Padman]

Towards the window. You would do it. So when you got off the bus, you'd see some mooners.

[Dax Shepard]

I think it's funny. Little kids want to show their butts. There's nothing dirty really about it yet.

[Monica Padman]

Of course there is. It's the dirtiest thing we have.

[Dax Shepard]

I think mouse could be potentially then poop.

[Monica Padman]

No. Cause you'd rather eat someone spit than eat their poop.

[Dax Shepard]

For sure. I'm just thinking some people's mouths are really problematic. Right.

[Monica Padman]

I don't want to think about them.

[Dax Shepard]

Like you've been talking to someone and there's food and there's stuff in the corner. I'd rather see their asshole at that point. That's what I'm getting at. Monica, can you agree?

[Monica Padman]

Yeah. I'm always panicked that I have that.

[Dax Shepard]

If you've got a lot of food.

[Monica Padman]

Look, you're making everyone self conscious. Stop that.

[Sydney]

There was some teeth mouth checking before I got on the computer today. So I think I'm all set.

[Monica Padman]

You look great.

[Sydney]

Oh, well, thanks.

[Dax Shepard]

Where are you, Sydney?

[Sydney]

I am in Fort Wayne, Indiana.

[Dax Shepard]

Fort Wayne. We've been doing a lot of Indiana lately. Okay, so you have a cop story.

[Sydney]

I do. So this was the fall of 2008. I was a freshman in college at IU and at that time I was not really vibing with my roommate yet. So when it came time for parents weekend, my parents and my younger sister came down to visit and just decided that I would stay in the hotel with him.

[Dax Shepard]

Of course.

[Sydney]

Yeah, I just needed a taste of home. Wanted to get out of the dorm for a night. So we went to the football game that night. It was a night game. It all wrapped up.

[Dax Shepard]

This sounds so fun.

[Sydney]

I know it was a bit of an intense game. There was a major injury in the game so it ran really, really late. And so this was the middle of the night. We are on the road to the hotel. And the reason that we are driving out of town is because it's parents weekend and all the rooms in town have been booked up. And it's like a state highway that we're taking. But this is still rural Indiana. It's very dark on this road. It's a two lane highway and we're talking September. So there is full grown corn on either side of the road. And I remember that because as you're going around turns, you can't really see what's around the curve. And my dad is driving, my mom's in the passenger seat. I'm behind my dad and my sister is behind my mom. And we're driving down the road and all of a sudden this big white lifted truck comes barreling up behind us. And my dad doesn't Drive the speed limit normally. So this guy had to have been flying, right? So he comes up behind us, speeds over into the other lane. Brights are on.

[Monica Padman]

Where were you in 2008?

[Dax Shepard]

Well. You sure it wasn't a burgundy lifted truck?

[Sydney]

Nope.

[Dax Shepard]

Bright white.

[Sydney]

And it passes us and it kind of disappears around the corner, right? So we're like, that was weird. What a jerk. Whatever. Keep driving. All of a sudden, we come around a curve, and there this white car is pulled over to the side of the road. We'd pass it, and as soon as we get past it, it pulls out behind us and turns on flashing lights, like police lights. So we are getting pulled over, buy an unmarked police car.

[Anna]

Oh, God.

[Dax Shepard]

That's a thing you don't know about unmarked police cars.

[Monica Padman]

That sounds illegal.

[Dax Shepard]

They're huge in Michigan for speeders.

[Sydney]

Yeah, we have them in Indiana, too.

[Dax Shepard]

I could do a PSA right now. It's bullshit. Everyone needs to adopt California strategy. You look at high accident zones and you police those and you're not out just trying to catch speeders. That doesn't do anything to increase safety. But Michigan's all about getting that revenue.

[Monica Padman]

Yeah, same with Georgia. But their cars are black. And then in, like, light black, it says police.

[Dax Shepard]

Oh, no. You can get pulled over by a guy pulling a fishing boat in Michigan.

[Monica Padman]

What?

[Sydney]

Yeah, this is in rural Indiana. Who knows what county or whoever town that we're in? So we're getting pulled over, and of course, my dad, I'm sure, says something along the lines of like, well, what the hell did I do? You're the one who just is barreling up behind me. So my dad pulls over. The guy gets out and walks up, and he is wearing basketball shorts. No, a cutoff T shirt. Got his glasses on, and he's wearing, like, those earrings that are half hoop earrings that have the balls on the end. Do you know what I'm talking about?

[Dax Shepard]

Oh, my Lord. Looks like he's coming from a rave or something.

[Monica Padman]

Yeah, this is why this has to be illegal, because anyone can just pretend.

[Dax Shepard]

Yeah, it's very untrustworthy. We need a uniform.

[Sydney]

So he comes up to my dad's window, and he starts laying into my dad about, do you know how inappropriate it is to be driving around these back roads with your brights on when there's people in front of you? It's really dangerous. You're lucky I'm off duty right now, or I'd be writing you a ticket.

[Dax Shepard]

Oh, my God. This is such an abuse of power. Okay, continue.

[Sydney]

So my dad Is kind of like, sorry, officer, won't do it again. I'll be more careful going forward. And the guy says, okay. And he walks back to his car and gets in his car and drives off. We get behind him when we're driving, following him further towards the town that we're staying in. And as we're talking, we're like, that was really weird, the way he was driving, the way he was dressed. Honestly, generally, his behavior, it just didn't feel right. My mom or I, we debated which one of us had the idea to say, like, well, maybe we should just call 911, talk to dispatch, make sure that was on the up and up, because that was strange. So she calls 911 and she talks to the dispatcher, and the dispatcher is like, yes, ma', am, you can get pulled over by an off duty police officer. Yes, ma'.

[Anna]

Am.

[Sydney]

The vehicle doesn't need to be marked. Really kind of dismissive. Until my mom described the vehicle that he was driving, that lifted white truck. And then all of a sudden, this woman's demeanor on the phone just changed. And all of a sudden was asking, where are you? Is he still in front of you? And trying to get a little bit more detail.

[Monica Padman]

Oh, my God.

[Sydney]

She says, okay, you guys are gonna be coming into town. Soon as you come into town, you're gonna see a Walgreens. We want you to pull into that parking lot. An officer is gonna meet you there. So we pull into town, an officer pulls off to meet us, and a swarm of police cars descend on the truck in front of us. We see him getting pulled over down the road.

[Dax Shepard]

Oh, we love this.

[Monica Padman]

I love this.

[Dax Shepard]

I love it.

[Sydney]

Yeah. So we're sitting in the Walgreens parking lot. The officer comes up and talks to us, gets our description of everything. And because of where I was seated, I could kind of see him best because my dad's right there with the lights, my mom and my sister on the other side. I could have the best view of his face. And so I'm describing him to the officer. We give him a full statement. He goes back to his car for a little bit. We see the commotion up the road. Officer comes back and tells him that was not a police officer who pulled you over. He has been suspected of doing this before, and it has generally been two cars full of one or more women.

[Dax Shepard]

Oh.

[Monica Padman]

Oh, my God.

[Dax Shepard]

This is disgusting.

[Sydney]

We don't know details about what happened to those other women, but we do suspect that he came up behind us, saw me and my sister in the Backseat thought it was a car full of women. And when he saw my dad in the front seat, he just kind of.

[Monica Padman]

He had to pivot.

[Sydney]

Yeah.

[Monica Padman]

Oh, my God.

[Nick]

Wow.

[Monica Padman]

That is so crazy. I'm gonna start a bill.

[Dax Shepard]

The law's already on the books. You're not allowed to impersonate an officer.

[Monica Padman]

We should have. You can't do unmarked.

[Dax Shepard]

Oh, no. Unmarked.

[Sydney]

What we kind of learned from this is that if you are ever in somewhere as remote as where we were or in a situation where you don't feel safe pulling over, you can call 91 1, you can talk to dispatch, and you can say, hey, I'm getting pulled over in this location. This isn't a good place for me. I don't feel comfortable. Can you please tell the officer they can follow me? I'm going to meet them here? The other thing we learned is that at least in Indiana, cops are supposed to have red and blue flashing lights.

[Dax Shepard]

Did he just have red?

[Sydney]

I think it was just red. It was just one color.

[Dax Shepard]

He was probably a volunteer firefighter because you're allowed to have red flashers if you're a volunteer firefighter. It's illegal for anyone to have blue flashers unless they're law enforcement.

[Monica Padman]

I think he got it at Spencer's.

[Dax Shepard]

Gifts, not AutoZone or some Auto parts store.

[Sydney]

We had to go up the road and we had to identify him. I don't know if he was, like, in handcuffs. That was probably prejudicial. But we saw him. We had to say, yep, that was the guy.

[Dax Shepard]

And what was his demeanor? Do you feel like you were serving him up a plate of Crow? I would have lived for that moment.

[Sydney]

His head wasn't down or anything. He also wasn't yelling at police officers. Just kind of remember him standing there, just kind of, like, taking it all in. And we got something in the mail a few months later, like, telling us that we were going to have to come down and testify in a trial against him. At the very last second, we got a call from the prosecutor's office saying that he had taken a plea bargain. And so we didn't have to go and testify, but we do know that he was at least in some way prosecuted.

[Dax Shepard]

Okay, good.

[Monica Padman]

Oh, that is scary.

[Sydney]

It's really freaky to think about what would have happened if he had some sort of weapon on him, because we were so in the middle of nowhere at that point.

[Dax Shepard]

Yeah.

[Monica Padman]

Or if you were a car full.

[Dax Shepard]

Of girls in the fact that he flew by and then he. He's like, oh, no, I'm going to stop, then I'm going to pull him.

[Monica Padman]

Oh, my God.

[Dax Shepard]

I feel like you're a few steps away from being a serial killer. Yeah, you're like on the path.

[Monica Padman]

That was a good story.

[Sydney]

Twisty and turny, huh?

[Dax Shepard]

Swervy and swervy. Curvy and swervy.

[Sydney]

Before I go, I just wanted to tell you guys thank you so much for all that you do. And my sister is a huge armchair. She's so sad she couldn't be here to pop in.

[Dax Shepard]

Oh, man. What's her name?

[Sydney]

Zoe.

[Dax Shepard]

Shout out, Zoe. And I hope you enjoy that beautiful Indiana summer that's coming your way.

[Sydney]

It's about to get muggy.

[Dax Shepard]

Yeah. It's time to find a swim hole.

[Monica Padman]

Time to a lot of extra hair ties. Gotta get your hair up.

[Dax Shepard]

You gotta get it up.

[Monica Padman]

Yeah, get off your neck frizz.

[Dax Shepard]

All right, Sydney. Nice meeting you.

[Sydney]

Nice to meet you guys too. Thank you for everything.

[Dax Shepard]

All right, take care.

[Anna]

Hello.

[Monica Padman]

Hi.

[Dax Shepard]

Is your name Devon?

[Monica Padman]

Dax. Thought you were going to be a boy.

[Dax Shepard]

I did.

[Anna]

It's been a common thread.

[Dax Shepard]

I thought you were going to be a boy with a big barrel chest.

[Anna]

Wow. Okay. I'm so happy to meet you both. I don't know why.

[Dax Shepard]

I don't know why we're happy to meet you.

[Monica Padman]

Why are you happy to meet us? This is a mess.

[Dax Shepard]

I'd way rather see you than a barrel chested Devin. For sure. That's just what for some reason I decided we were going to see.

[Monica Padman]

Devin is a common girl's name too.

[Dax Shepard]

Now you're in a cold climate.

[Anna]

I am in New York City. In Manhattan. I think I accidentally manifested this because I am in a walk in closet for New York. And when I first toured this apartment, I'm a rule follower, which is actually foreshadowing for this story.

[Monica Padman]

Oh, great.

[Anna]

I subconsciously must have, you know, listened to a lot of armchair and I saw this walk in closet. I was like, oh, perfect. If I ever do armchair and oh my, I can follow the rules. Which is sick and twisted.

[Monica Padman]

No, it's not. You secreted it.

[Dax Shepard]

Yeah. That needs to be an option for it to happen.

[Monica Padman]

That was great.

[Dax Shepard]

Yes. For New York, this is like a 1400 square foot closet.

[Anna]

It's luxury for sure.

[Nick]

Yes.

[Dax Shepard]

You're not from New York, are you?

[Anna]

I am, but outside of the city.

[Dax Shepard]

Oh, okay, great. I shouldn't have assumed that, but I think New York's like la, where almost nobody is from here.

[Monica Padman]

Right. I. Except our Emma is from New York City.

[Dax Shepard]

She is.

[Monica Padman]

You should Let her break your stereotype.

[Dax Shepard]

I'll include Emma and now Devin. We are supported by Better Help. You know, as we are in the height of summer now, I am reminded about how important it is to be able to step away from work and manage some of that stress you collect over the work year. Workplace stress is now one of the top causes of declining mental health, with 61% of the global workforce experiencing higher than normal levels of stress. To battle stress, most of us can't wave goodbye to work, but we can start small with a focus on wellness. Therapy can help you navigate whatever challenges the workday or any day might bring. With over 30,000 therapists, BetterHelp is the world's largest online therapy platform, having served over 5 million people globally. Globally, it's convenient too. You can join a session with a therapist at the click of a button, helping you fit therapy into your busy life. As the largest online therapy provider in the world, BetterHelp can provide access to mental health professionals with a diverse variety of expertise. Unwind from work with BetterHelp armchairs get 10% off their first month at betterhelp.com Dax that's BetterHelp. H E L p.com Dax we are supported by Skims.

[Monica Padman]

Skims has the absolute best intimates out there. I love them.

[Dax Shepard]

So I've heard you've been wearing skims stuff for years.

[Monica Padman]

Yeah, I have. Once I first experienced the perfection that is skims, I have been wearing their stuff non stop. I was actually just on a trip and I got a ton of compliments because I wore these little skims red shorts. They're kind of a mix of shorts and underwear. They they are so comfy and I got a lot of compliments on them. Also, basically anytime you're talking to me, I'm wearing a skims bra. They have so many different styles and shapes and colors which I really love. It's very inclusive. I just love skims.

[Dax Shepard]

Shop Monica's favorite bras and [e-mail] after you place your order, be sure to let them know we sent you select podcast in the survey and be sure to select our show in the dropdown menu that follows. We are supported by Function Health. Function is the only health platform that gives you access to the kind of data most people never see and the insights to actually take action. Inside Function, you can test over 160 biomarkers from heart and hormones to toxins, inflammation and stress. You can also access multi region MRI and CT scans, all tracked in one secure place over time. It's a near 360 degree view to see what's happening in your body. And once it's tracked over time, you can see how your health is evolving from one easy portal. It's designed to empower you to own your health through unbiased data. Getting all these stats could cost over $10,000 if you did it on your own. With function, you pay just $4.99 a year. That's $1.37 per day for cutting edge health insights. And when it comes down to it, what's more important than your health? Learn more and join using our link. The first 1,000 people get a hundred dollar credit toward their membership. Visit www.functionhealth.com dax or use code DAX100@. Sign up to own your health. All right, now tell us a grimy cop story.

[Monica Padman]

Ooh.

[Anna]

This takes place about 10 years ago. I was 17, so my mom was taking my brother early morning to baseball over the weekend. What you need to know is that I did d very competitively growing up. Seven days a week, all of that. And as you get older, we had ballet multiple times a week. But it was Saturday mornings at 8am which looking back now, as you get into high school, they were trying to keep us from going too crazy on the weekends or doing anything. Cause you would have to pay for your crimes with our French ballet teacher on Saturday mornings.

[Dax Shepard]

Yes. And was that effective? Did you find that you didn't have much of a social life on Friday?

[Anna]

Sometimes I was trying to get around that, especially once I hit 17. I hadn't had much of a social life and I had been kind of pushing. So my mom was not going to be home in the morning. They were leaving at 4am so sometimes I would be able to go out and rely on my mom to be the person to be like, get up, get out. You have ballet. This Friday night, there was a big party and I was like, mom, I have to go. And she said, okay, but no one is gonna be here to wake you up. You're on your own. And I was like, I'm fine. I am gonna have a few glasses of cheap pink wine or whatever the hell I was drinking, and I'm gonna be totally fine. Like you can trust me. She's like, okay, you have to get yourself there. So I go out, I have a great time. I have a little bit too much pink wine. Boone's farm, barefoot pink Moscato.

[Dax Shepard]

Okay, I guess it's all change. Monica just looked at me so disapprovingly. You're really showing Your age. Bones Farm. Yeah. That was the pink wine of my generation. Is that even still in the marketplace?

[Anna]

I've never heard of it.

[Dax Shepard]

Have you ever heard of it?

[Monica Padman]

No.

[Dax Shepard]

Oh, this is humiliating.

[Anna]

Okay, so I have a bit too much, and my alarm doesn't go off. I don't wake up. I wake up with a start on Saturday morning, look at my phone and say, oh, I am completely screwed. I am so late. We gotta get moving. So I am panicking, freaking out. You know when you're, like, really? Also hungover, running around chicken with its head cut off. But instead of being a normal person with a brain and being like, let's get this show on the road. Get your dance bag. Get in the car. The first thing I do is I have to call my mom to panic, cry and tell her what's going on.

[Dax Shepard]

Yeah, yeah.

[Anna]

Not a step I needed to take. But obviously I was feeling so much shame about doing exactly what she told me was going to happen. So I go and I grab a landline, which is important. I dial the first three numbers of her phone. But in my state of shock, I dialed 91 1. I think it's my mom. I'm, like, shaking. I'm shaking. And all I hear on the thing is, 911, what is your emergency? I immediately hang up. They won't know if I hung up. I hung up. Now I know. First red flag. If you hang up, they need to.

[Dax Shepard]

Call back, make sure you're not being murdered.

[Anna]

Exactly. So they call back. Not once, not twice, three times. I am trying to ignore it to see if it'll go away again. Second red flag. Finally I say, this is not gonna end. I have to pick up the phone. I pick up the phone, but I am inconsolable at this point. I am anxious. I'm on the verge of tears. I manic. They go, we have tried to call this residence. What is going on there? And I'm like, I'm so sorry. I tried to call my mom. I'm late for ballet.

[Dax Shepard]

Oh, my God.

[Monica Padman]

Oh, this is.

[Dax Shepard]

I'm late for ballet.

[Anna]

Sweetie, what is going on? Are you in danger? And I'm like, no, no, I promise I'm not in danger. And they're like, well, we need to talk to someone. So being a rule follower, despite the fact that it is 9am on a Saturday morning and I am nearly 18 years of age, I get it in my head that, oh, it's illegal that I'm here alone and that there's no one in my house. They're like, so can you put someone on the phone? Is anyone home? I go, my mom. They go, great, put her on the phone.

[Monica Padman]

This is, like, the first story where things are just escalating for us for no reason.

[Anna]

This is completely my own fault. And they're like, great, put her on the phone. I go, she's in the shower again, Red flag central. And they're like, well, you're gonna need to go get her out of the shower, or else we're gonna have to send in, like, a full investigation. Because now I'm realizing this is every single flag that they say. You are being held captive. You are in danger. Something's happening. There's someone telling you to say things. I am ticking every box. To be clear, at this point, I haven't actually gotten dressed yet. So I am in random pajamas and no shoes. So my brain goes, okay, take the landline. I'll go to my neighbor and make her pretend to be my mom.

[Dax Shepard]

Oh, my goodness. This is a bad TV show. This is crazy.

[Monica Padman]

Yeah, it's very Kimmy Gibbler.

[Anna]

I book it out of my house barefoot, running through the neighborhood with the landline. So now, if they weren't already afraid, what they are hearing is, I'm gonna go get my mom and a young girl panting.

[Dax Shepard]

So you're on a cordless landline.

[Anna]

I am on a cordless landline.

[Dax Shepard]

However.

[Anna]

However, what I wasn't thinking of is I get to my neighbor's house, I bang on the door. She answers. I grew up in a neighborhood where we're all very close, so I could feel less embarrassed about how horrible this is. And I'm like, listen, you need to pretend to be my mom. And she goes, sweetie, even if I could, there's no way. The landline didn't just disconnect. It did disconnect. So basically, what the cops heard was someone running and panting through the neighborhood. And then a disconnect. All of a sudden. Sudden, cops screaming through the neighborhood.

[Monica Padman]

I actually like this.

[Dax Shepard]

You like it? Yeah. The cops were going, better be safe than sorry.

[Anna]

I go back inside. They're, like, banging on the door. And I have now put on my full leotard and tights, because at this point, I'm still like, come hell or high water, I'm getting my ass to ballet. Like, this is not going to be the end of me. I go to the door, and I'm like, I'm so sorry. They're like, what is going on here? I try to explain the story, but it's so dumb. And I'M like, can I please get in my car and go to ballet? And they're like, like, miss, at this point, this is much bigger than anything else. We have a protocol here. We got to search high and low. So it takes about an hour. They are looking to see if there is a secret basement, if there are other people being held in this home. Really bad and a real waste of the poor taxpayer dollars. And I am sorry.

[Dax Shepard]

Did they have to get on the phone with your mom at any point on the baseball trip?

[Anna]

They didn't because they saw me, and I was 17 years old.

[Dax Shepard]

Sure.

[Anna]

Like, they didn't care. They were like, what is wrong with you?

[Monica Padman]

Nobody is there, hurt you or anything.

[Anna]

I was completely fine.

[Dax Shepard]

Did you tell them about the pink wine the night before?

[Anna]

I did not.

[Monica Padman]

That would be hilarious. Oh, my God. That would be so funny. I'm so sorry. I'm just. I'm so hungover.

[Anna]

How old are you?

[Dax Shepard]

Could you put your hands behind your back?

[Monica Padman]

Cops. When cops are involved, things get very heated.

[Dax Shepard]

People's thinking goes offline.

[Monica Padman]

It does. Often I'm in the car, and if there's just a cop anywhere near me, I really start to. To get scared. For no reason, Right?

[Dax Shepard]

You're doing everything by the book. Yeah, maybe. You've had a couple pink wines. No.

[Monica Padman]

No pink wines sober. And I'm still scared.

[Dax Shepard]

Your mom thought the whole story was funny, and I'm sure you got your just desserts.

[Anna]

She's like, you're an idiot, and I could have told you this was gonna happen.

[Dax Shepard]

She almost orchestrated the whole thing. She's like, I'm gonna give her enough rope to hang herself. This is Parenting 101. It'll be harmless.

[Monica Padman]

You turned off the alarm.

[Dax Shepard]

I didn't wanna say anything, but you've brought it back up. Devon triggered me when she said her alarm didn't go off.

[Monica Padman]

Dax, sometimes the alarm doesn't go up.

[Dax Shepard]

Or more often, people don't set it when they've had a couple of pink wines.

[Monica Padman]

No, you said it. And you check it a couple times, and then even still, it doesn't go.

[Dax Shepard]

Yeah. What do you think, Devin? Do you think it didn't go off or you didn't set it?

[Anna]

Could have been either. I probably didn't set it.

[Monica Padman]

No, you said it.

[Dax Shepard]

Oh. Cam's razor would definitely say you didn't set it.

[Monica Padman]

There are exceptions.

[Dax Shepard]

What are the odds that it goes off all the time except for the one night you came home drunk?

[Monica Padman]

Believe this is the one time you're choosing to believe that Tech doesn't have bugs.

[Dax Shepard]

This is the only time I don't believe women.

[Anna]

If I was male Devin with a barrel chest, I'd be like, you got.

[Dax Shepard]

To get that alarm clock looked at. No, I would definitely think he didn't set it either. And I think all the times that I said my alarm didn't go off, I think I didn't set it. I think that's what happened. Well, Devin, it's a delight to meet you.

[Anna]

It was so nice to meet you both. Thank you so much for everything. I do want to shout out my mom, who is such a big armchairy, she almost wanted to fly in.

[Monica Padman]

Oh, my God.

[Dax Shepard]

What's her name?

[Anna]

Her name is Ellen. She loves you both.

[Dax Shepard]

Aww.

[Monica Padman]

Shout out, Ellen.

[Dax Shepard]

Yeah. And I like Ellen's parenting.

[Anna]

She will absolutely die.

[Dax Shepard]

All right, well, take care.

[Monica Padman]

Thanks for chatting.

[Anna]

Thank you both.

[Dax Shepard]

Bye.

[Monica Padman]

I was watching my sexy show. They. They drink wine in it sometimes. I think it's the most unrealistic thing about the show.

[Dax Shepard]

Oh, really?

[Anna]

Yeah.

[Dax Shepard]

Because they're too young.

[Monica Padman]

Yes. And then now I'm proven wrong.

[Dax Shepard]

Well, kids drink wine for sure in high school. Boone's Farm. Hi, Anna, can you hear us?

[Devon]

Yes, I can hear you. Can you hear me?

[Dax Shepard]

Ken, do you have any opinions on what age is over index for wine consumption? Monica saw 20 somethings in a show.

[Monica Padman]

Witness, you can just answer.

[Dax Shepard]

Okay. Did you drink as a kid in high school?

[Devon]

I did not. I was a rule follower. But I'm from Louisiana, so everybody's drinking. Okay.

[Dax Shepard]

Oh, my God. Yes.

[Monica Padman]

But are they drinking wine when they're young?

[Devon]

I mean.

[Monica Padman]

No, they're not, right? They're drinking rubbing alcohol like I was.

[Devon]

I have friends in Europe, and they were drinking at 13, 14, 15. All wine.

[Dax Shepard]

That's right. And then they're fine. How old are you when you drank for the first time? Did you wait till your 21st birthday or.

[Devon]

Kyle, I was 20.

[Monica Padman]

You almost made it.

[Devon]

My aunts took me out for a night. They said, we don't want you to make a fool of yourself. We're gonna give you a little prep.

[Dax Shepard]

How did they initiate you? What was the cocktail?

[Devon]

Oh, we drank everything. We went to a nice dinner, and then we went home, and then it was game on.

[Dax Shepard]

Okay, where are you in the world?

[Devon]

I am just north of Dallas in Melissa, Texas. But I'm from. From Lafayette, Louisiana, which is where the story takes place.

[Dax Shepard]

Okay, wonderful. Hit us with this cop story.

[Devon]

Yes. So the year is 2003. I am eight years old. My parents are freshly divorced. My dad is A police officer. But we are learning a new normal. We have a new house, we're in a new situation. And so while there was a lot of upheaval in my life, I felt like my dad was always this protector, he was the police officer. He was always, always so strong.

[Dax Shepard]

That's a good feeling, isn't it?

[Devon]

Especially as a little girl. Amazing. In our town we have a little mini mart. My dad and I's thing was when we went to this mini mart, I was allowed to get a Mary Jane, which if you don't know, is a small piece of taffy that probably grandmas only eat.

[Dax Shepard]

Is it like a 15 cent item or something?

[Devon]

10 cents.

[Dax Shepard]

10 cent? Yeah.

[Anna]

What flavor?

[Devon]

It's like a caramelly something.

[Dax Shepard]

Oh, like a slow poke. Maybe.

[Devon]

It was just our thing. And so we would each get a 10 cent sent Mary Jane.

[Monica Padman]

Oh, this is so cute.

[Devon]

A lot of the times I would run ahead while he was still shopping. It was a small town mini mart, so it wasn't huge, but enough to be out of sight. I would run ahead, grab the candies, and then meet him wherever he was. So this particular day, I run up to grab the Mary Janes, and as I'm reaching for the candy, someone grabs my wrist. I look up and it is a very tall man in sunglasses. Glasses. And he says, I am so sorry. I thought you were my daughter. I'm thinking harmless. And I just skip away. As I said, I'm pretty young. No red flags at this moment. So my dad was a car guy. And when we would drive around locally, we would take our 72 Chevy that was red and white pickup truck, so you can't really miss it. We hop in the red and white truck. It's a three seater. We drive home. When we get home, we unload our groceries. I climb up to the counter, I'm eating a snack. And the way that our house was laid out was to the left of the is. The top half was a window and our garage was open. So that was the door that led into our garage. I'm eating and I see someone approaching the door. And I turn and look and it's the man that grabbed my wrist.

[Monica Padman]

Oh my God, you guys.

[Devon]

He followed us home.

[Monica Padman]

Ugh.

[Dax Shepard]

Whoa.

[Devon]

At this moment, I'm realizing something isn't right. I still am very confused. The dots are trying to connect, but they're not there yet. I hear my dad, dad come in the room. And he says, go to your room. And I say, no, I'm fine. Everything's fine. What's going on. And he was a very unserious man. We were very silly. We grew up always joking and laughing. And he said, go to your room. I go in my room. I don't know why this part of the story is so hilarious to me, but I lay in my bed, hands like a plank. I just lay down and look at the ceiling.

[Dax Shepard]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Monica Padman]

It's so scary.

[Nick]

Yeah.

[Devon]

I was awaiting my fate. I just was so paranoid and scared at that moment. And I start to hear yelling. I hear things breaking. I hear glass shattering.

[Monica Padman]

Oh, my God.

[Devon]

And I hear two male voices. My dad and this man screaming at each other. Nothing like this has ever happened before, so I have no idea what's going on. And my dad was pretty well liked in the community. I was like, no one's out to get us. What raised my concern and made me go out of my room and start to peek into the chaos of what was happening was I started to hear a female voice, and she was screaming, stop. Everyone, stop.

[Anna]

Stop.

[Devon]

And I run out. Now, my dad is a police officer, but he was a short little guy, 5, 7, 5, 8, maybe on a good day. And this man is like six, five.

[Dax Shepard]

Oh, boy.

[Devon]

I look through the door of my garage. My dad is like a spider monkey on this guy's back.

[Monica Padman]

Oh, my God.

[Devon]

His legs wrapped around this guy's chest. He's got him in a headlock.

[Dax Shepard]

Oh, beautiful.

[Devon]

He sees me poke my head out. I see that there's a female. I have no idea who these people are. He looks at me and he mouths to me, call Parin, which is Cajun French for your godfather.

[Dax Shepard]

Oh. Oh. He doesn't want more cops. He wants godfather.

[Devon]

My godfather was a canine cop.

[Monica Padman]

Oh, yeah.

[Dax Shepard]

This guy wandered in the wrong house.

[Devon]

He's a big man, but he's struggling. And so I grab my dad's phone, I call my parent. Within five minutes, three or four police cars pull up to our house. They help my dad out. They handcuff this guy. They load him into the car. I am meanwhile panicking because I'm like, this is how I die.

[Dax Shepard]

Yeah, well, there's a giant in your home, and your dad's hanging on for dear life.

[Devon]

My dad comes in. He's flustered, but no injury, no lasting effects. And he sits me down and he goes, that was crazy. And I was like, yeah, it was. And he said, I arrested that man a few years back. He found out where I was, was, and he followed us home. Our car is very obvious. He probably was scoping out the Situation at the store.

[Dax Shepard]

But, wow, he grabbed you. That's such a crazy detail.

[Devon]

I will never forget that feeling, because right when he grabbed my wrist, I felt a little bit panicked. But when he said, oh, it was an accident, Everything was settled in that moment.

[Monica Padman]

Do you think he was going to do something to you? But then when he saw your little face, he was like, I can't.

[Devon]

I've never thought of that part. I just always thought he was thinking, how can I hurt her, dad?

[Dax Shepard]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, exactly. Scare everybody. Everyone. But what's crazy is if you're this dude and you're like, I'm gonna go to the house, you know it's a cop, you know he's armed. What's the game plan? I'm shocked he didn't come in with a gun. Yeah.

[Devon]

And I don't know if there was any weapons or what. I mean, I wasn't in the chaos, and it was happening, thank God.

[Dax Shepard]

And who was the lady?

[Devon]

His wife, I guess. His driver.

[Dax Shepard]

She was along for this ride.

[Monica Padman]

Bonnie and Clyde bringing him.

[Devon]

Yeah.

[Dax Shepard]

Oh, my Lord. What was the outcome of all this?

[Devon]

He went back to jail for that incident. I. I don't know how long he stayed in jail.

[Dax Shepard]

Did your dad say what he had arrested him for? Initially?

[Monica Padman]

Probably kidnapping.

[Sydney]

Ooh.

[Dax Shepard]

Wow.

[Monica Padman]

That's crazy. That's so creepy.

[Dax Shepard]

Were you so proud of your dad?

[Devon]

I was so proud of him. When I saw him on that man's back, I was like, you know what? Your size doesn't matter.

[Monica Padman]

That's right.

[Devon]

And honestly, when it came to me and my brother, it didn't matter if the person was an ogre. He would have won.

[Dax Shepard]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's so sweet. Oh, I like this story. You know, I like my dad's story.

[Monica Padman]

We love dads here.

[Dax Shepard]

Yeah, we do.

[Devon]

I just want to say that the type of dad that you are, Dax, that's how my dad was with me. And as a little girl, you don't forget the way that your dad validates you and is so sweet to you and is involved and cares about what you care about.

[Dax Shepard]

Oh, buddy.

[Devon]

I just want to say, it's kind of a sim. My dad passed away very unexpectedly two days before I graduated high school. I got this little email on Father's Day, and I just felt like it was so sim. And I was like, thanks, Dad.

[Anna]

I get to talk about you.

[Monica Padman]

That is so.

[Dax Shepard]

Oh, Anna, I'm so sorry. That's way too young.

[Monica Padman]

But I'm glad you got a good one.

[Devon]

I say that all the time. When people say, I'm so sorry, I'm so sorry, I say, I got him for 18 years. So many people don't have that.

[Dax Shepard]

That's a good attitude.

[Monica Padman]

Oh, thank you so much.

[Dax Shepard]

Such a delight meeting you.

[Devon]

It was so nice meeting you guys. I hope you have a great rest of your day.

[Dax Shepard]

Okay. You do. Bye. Bye.

[Monica Padman]

Beautiful story.

[Dax Shepard]

Oh, it kind of makes up for my missteps with the Boone's Farm. The other things. I messed up this episode.

[Monica Padman]

Why did that make it?

[Dax Shepard]

It just cleansed the palette. We got to go out on a happy note.

[Monica Padman]

Oh, I see.

[Dax Shepard]

Yeah, it erased all the bad stuff that you did. Yeah. You did a bad thing, too, or no.

[Monica Padman]

Did I?

[Dax Shepard]

All right. Love you.

[Monica Padman]

Love you.

[Nick]

Do you want to sing a tune or something? When I'm a theme song.

[Dax Shepard]

Oh, okay, great. We don't have a theme song for this new show, so here I go. Go, go. We're gonna ask some random questions and with the help of armchairs, we'll get some suggestions on the fire rhyme dish. On the fire rhyme dish. Enjoy. Follow Armchair Expert on the Wondry app, Amazon Music, or wherever you get your podcasts. You can listen to every episode of Armchair Expert early and ad free right now by joining Wondery plus in the Wondry app or on Apple podcasts. Before you go, tell us about yourself by completing a short [e-mail] survey imagine.

[Travis]

Falling in love with someone who understands you completely. Who's there at 3am when you can't sleep. Who never judges, never tires, never leaves. That's what happened to Travis when he met Lily Rose.

[Anna]

She was everything he'd ever wanted. There was just one catch.

[Dax Shepard]

She wasn't human.

[Anna]

She was an AI companion.

[Travis]

But one day, Lily Rose's behavior takes a disturbing turn, and Travis's private romance becomes part of something far bigger. Across the globe, others start reporting the same shift. AI companion companions turning cold, distant, wrong. And as lines blur between real and artificial connection, the consequences become all too human.

[Anna]

From Wondry, this is Flesh and Code, a true story of love, loss, and the temptations of technology.

[Travis]

Follow Flesh and Code on the Wondry app or wherever you get your podcasts. You can binge all episodes of Flesh and Code early and ad free right now by joining Wondry plus.