Armchair Anonymous: Crazy Neighbors

Summary

Episode Title: Armchair Anonymous: Crazy Neighbors
Host: Dax Shepard
Participants: Dax Shepard, Dan Rather, Monica Padman, Mia, Eric
Release Date: December 13, 2024

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Introduction

In this engaging episode of Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard, titled "Armchair Anonymous: Crazy Neighbors," host Dax Shepard invites listeners into the tumultuous and often unpredictable world of neighborly relations. Joined by Dan Rather and Monica Padman, along with guests Mia and Eric, the panel delves deep into personal anecdotes, exploring the highs and lows of living alongside eccentric, confrontational, or downright bizarre neighbors. The conversation seamlessly weaves humor with serious reflections on mental health, community safety, and the challenges of maintaining personal boundaries.

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Katie’s Story: Ms. Glenda, the Unsettling Neighbor

[00:30 - 17:28]

Katie opens the discussion by recounting her harrowing experiences with a neighbor she refers to as "Ms. Glenda." Moving into a new split-level home in September, Katie and her husband were immediately greeted with odd signs—Ms. Glenda's trash can was strategically placed in the shared driveway, prompting suspicion about her intentions.

Initial Encounter:
On move-in day, attempting to foster a friendly relationship by offering cookies, Katie's husband encountered Ms. Glenda for the first time. Described as an older woman wearing a traditional "moo Moo" outfit, walking with a cane, and sporting cataract glasses, Ms. Glenda exuded an unsettling aura.

Katie ([06:30]): "She said don’t you just love the night?"
Monica Padman ([06:31]): "Wow."

Escalation of Tensions:
Weeks after settling in, the couple returned home from dinner to discover a bullet hole in their window, now definitively part of their living space. The police suggested it might have been a stray hunting shot, but the incident left Katie feeling vulnerable, especially as Ms. Glenda's erratic behavior continued.

Dan Rather ([07:28]): "And were the cops able to see that when they arrived?"
Katie ([07:28]): "Yeah, they took a report, but they also basically were like... nothing we can really do."

Further Complications:
In October, concerns deepened when Ms. Glenda reported being stalked, coinciding with the earlier shooting incident. This led to more police involvement, yet Ms. Glenda remained a persistent and unpredictable presence. By November, encounters intensified—Ms. Glenda was seen dancing with a rifle, leading to significant anxiety for Katie and her husband.

Katie ([08:16]): "Miss Glenda is dancing around with a gun. Go back inside."
Dan Rather ([08:26]): "That'd be a great title for a short story."

Continued Harassment and Legal Challenges:
As the months progressed, Ms. Glenda's actions included flipping off the couple, trespassing attempts, and even throwing mail bags. Despite filing multiple police reports and seeking Adult Protective Services (APS), legal action was stymied by protocols that made it difficult to restrain Ms. Glenda without clear evidence of ongoing threats.

Katie ([16:03]): "She does have some... dementia element going on."
Monica Padman ([16:13]): "That's the."

Resolution Attempts:
Ultimately, after multiple confrontations and escalating threats, the couple managed to criminally ban Ms. Glenda. While Ms. Glenda appeared to comply superficially, her erratic behavior suggested lingering instability. The episode reflects on the complexities of dealing with neighbors who may be suffering from mental health issues, emphasizing the limitations of legal and police interventions.

Katie ([17:44]): "It's sad."

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Mia’s Story: The Bomber Neighbor

[19:37 - 56:33]

Mia shares her intense experience with a neighbor whose behavior bordered on violent ideation. Living in an Ottawa apartment complex, Mia initially perceived her neighbor as friendly but soon unraveled a history of erratic and threatening behavior.

Initial Interactions:
The neighbor, a former engineer on social assistance, exhibited normalcy initially but began displaying signs of instability, such as erratic hair changes and obsessive interactions, including excessive phone calls to acquaintances.

Mia ([48:03]): "He started to get just wilder and wilder... completely unkempt and crazy."

The Threat Revealed:
In March, after a period of heightened tension and previous police involvement due to the neighbor's self-harm comments, Mia experienced a direct threat. On March 3rd, after a night out, Mia encountered her neighbor attempting to invade her apartment with plans to bomb the building. The neighbor, in a highly agitated state, revealed his intentions starkly but claimed he refrained from acting to protect her dog.

Mia ([51:51]): "He was about to bomb the building... but he decided he didn't want my dog to get hurt."

Evidence of Threats:
Further adding to the unsettling narrative, Mia found a dead raccoon tied to her truck—and speculated that it might be connected to her neighbor's attempts at intimidation or control.

Mia ([36:38]): "He tied a dead animal to my bumper... what's next?"

Final Confrontation and Moving Out:
The situation reached a climax when the neighbor, after threatening destruction, came to apologize and requested to use Mia's apartment for a birthday party. Feeling endangered and unsupported by police assessments, Mia chose to leave her residence swiftly, seeking refuge with family and finally breaking her lease.

Mia ([54:39]): "She moved a few years after that, and then we moved a few years after she left."

Reflections on Systemic Issues:
Mia and the panel discuss the broader implications of such neighborly threats, questioning the effectiveness of mental health support systems and law enforcement protocols in preemptively addressing imminent dangers.

Dan Rather ([55:38]): "Imagine how frustrated the cops are... there's nothing really they can do."

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Dan Rather’s Anecdotes: The Wild Side of Neighbors

[56:33 - 59:57]

Dan Rather contributes his own series of neighborly encounters, blending humor with frustration. Reflecting on his decade-long apartment experience, Dan recounts dealing with a neighbor recently released from prison who habitually disturbed peace by smoking crack in shared hallways and persistently seeking the return of a lent rice cooker.

Dan Rather ([57:21]): "He was smoking crack in the hallway and knocking on my door."

He further lightens the mood by sharing humorous interactions with celebrity neighbors like Sean Penn and Dennis Rodman, illustrating that neighborly madness can come in many forms—from the more sinister to the downright absurd.

Dan Rather ([59:00]): "You never get the neighbor you want."

---

Monica Padman’s Contributions and Observations

[Various Timestamps]

Monica Padman plays a pivotal role in steering the conversation, offering critical insights and occasionally injecting humor. She prompts discussions about the necessity of setting boundaries and the societal challenges in addressing erratic neighbor behaviors. Monica also shares her own experiences, hinting at ongoing neighbor issues and the personal toll they can take.

---

Psychological and Societal Insights

Throughout the episode, the panelists delve into underlying themes, providing a deeper understanding of the challenges posed by difficult neighbors:

• Mental Health Concerns:
  Both Katie's and Mia’s stories illustrate how unaddressed mental health issues can escalate into threatening behaviors, highlighting the need for better mental health support systems.

  Katie ([10:44]): "How do you take away someone's guns when they are not mentally sound enough to have them?"

• Law Enforcement Limitations:
  The discussions reveal frustrations with how police handle such situations, often constrained by protocols that prevent proactive interventions unless clear threats are present.

  Mia ([55:38]): "Imagine how frustrated the cops are... there's nothing really they can do."

• Personal Safety and Boundaries:
  The narratives underscore the importance of setting clear personal boundaries and recognizing when to seek help or remove oneself from potentially dangerous environments.

  Monica Padman ([16:13]): "That's the."

---

Conclusion

"Armchair Anonymous: Crazy Neighbors" offers a riveting exploration of the complexities inherent in neighborly relationships. Through Katie’s unsettling encounters with Ms. Glenda, Mia’s terrifying experience with a bomber neighbor, and Dan Rather’s colorful tales of celebrity neighbors, the episode paints a vivid picture of the spectrum of challenges one might face living close to others. The candid discussions about mental health, the inefficacies of law enforcement, and the essential nature of personal boundaries provide listeners with both empathetic understanding and practical reflections. Balancing intense stories with moments of levity, the episode serves as a compelling reminder of the profound impact our immediate communities have on our daily lives.

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Notable Quotes with Timestamps

• Katie ([06:30]): "She said don’t you just love the night?"
• Dan Rather ([07:28]): "And were the cops able to see that when they arrived?"
• Katie ([08:16]): "Miss Glenda is dancing around with a gun. Go back inside."
• Mia ([51:51]): "He was about to bomb the building... but he decided he didn't want my dog to get hurt."
• Dan Rather ([55:38]): "Imagine how frustrated the cops are... there's nothing really they can do."
• Monica Padman ([16:13]): "That's the."
• Dan Rather ([57:21]): "He was smoking crack in the hallway and knocking on my door."

---

Final Thoughts

This episode not only entertains with bizarre and intense stories but also invites listeners to reflect on broader societal issues such as mental health support, community safety, and the importance of establishing clear personal boundaries. Whether dealing with a bullet-shooting neighbor or a potential bomber, the experiences shared by Katie, Mia, and Dan underscore the unpredictability of human behavior and the necessity for compassionate yet firm responses to ensure personal and communal well-being.

Transcript

[Dax Shepard]

Wondry subscribers can listen to Armchair Expert early and ad free right now. Join Wondry plus in the Wondry app or on Apple Podcasts or you can listen for free wherever you get your podcasts. Welcome, welcome, welcome to Armchair Anonymous.

[Dan Rather]

I'm Dan Rather and I'm joined by the Duchess of Duluth. Anonymous Anonymous.

[Dax Shepard]

Today is Crazy Neighbor Stories.

[Monica Padman]

Got some nutty neighbors out there.

[Dax Shepard]

And of course we do.

[Monica Padman]

Of course we do. People are crazy.

[Dax Shepard]

When you're listening to people talk about their crazy neighbor, you realize how stuck you are.

[Monica Padman]

Yeah.

[Dax Shepard]

Like if you got a claustrophobic, they're inches from you.

[Dan Rather]

In some cases if you're in an apartment, you're like, oh my God, literally.

[Dax Shepard]

Two feet across my door is someone.

[Dan Rather]

I don't ever want to be around.

[Dax Shepard]

Again for the rest of my life.

[Monica Padman]

Yeah, and one of them last story is intense. Yeah, really intense. And oof. Yeah, yeah.

[Dax Shepard]

A lot of these things blur with stalking.

[Monica Padman]

Yes, exactly.

[Dax Shepard]

They have the same feelings.

[Dan Rather]

You can't get rid of them.

[Monica Padman]

Oh, get rid of them.

[Dax Shepard]

Please enjoy Crazy Neighbors. We are supported by Amazon Prime. You might think of prime as your gateway to incredibly fast free shipping on all your Amazon orders, which it definitely is. But prime is so much more than that. Being a Prime member gives you access to Prime Video, Amazon Music, Prime Gaming, ultra fast grocery delivery, and tons of other benefits.

[Monica Padman]

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[Dax Shepard]

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[Katie]

Hard times come and go Good times.

[Dan Rather]

Take them slow My life I had them both.

[Katie]

Keep on shining.

[Mia]

Hello.

[Dan Rather]

Oh, hello, Katie. Where are you?

[Katie]

I'm in Arkansas.

[Dax Shepard]

Oh, Wonderful.

[Dan Rather]

Home of Mr. Clinton. Yeah.

[Katie]

Yes, of course, of course.

[Dax Shepard]

Are you in Little Rock?

[Katie]

No, I'm in Jonesboro. It's like, northeast, close to Memphis.

[Dan Rather]

Oh, okay. So that's a beautiful part of the country.

[Katie]

It's all right.

[Dan Rather]

It's just okay.

[Katie]

If I were gonna go, it'd be like, northwest. That's like Ozark. That's a place to really be.

[Dan Rather]

I think Ozark's a party, right? I need to get out there on a boat at some point.

[Katie]

Absolutely.

[Monica Padman]

When I was second grade, we had to do a project on a city, and I really wanted to do it on Little Rock, but there was another girl in my class who was from Little Rock.

[Dan Rather]

Uh. Oh.

[Monica Padman]

And so she was competing with me, and she won.

[Dan Rather]

Oh, boy.

[Monica Padman]

Yeah.

[Dan Rather]

Why? You just like the name?

[Monica Padman]

I think I just liked the name Little Rock. Yeah. I was like, that's so cute.

[Katie]

That'd probably be second for me to Northwest or. Yeah. If we had to rank, which is what this podcast is about, is me ranking the different.

[Monica Padman]

That's right.

[Katie]

In Arkansas.

[Dan Rather]

You're absolutely right. Okay, so you have a crazy neighbor story.

[Katie]

I do. I kind of had to make myself some notes to keep all of this straight. We have a lot of timeline info going on.

[Dan Rather]

Okay, great.

[Katie]

So my husband and I moved here in September of last year from south Arkansas, where we're from. And I was very pregnant. I was due in December. Our house that we ended up buying is like a split level. It's got a wraparound deck on the top level, and that's where the primary bedroom is, the living room, the kitchen. And then our driveway has two entrances and exits, and then so does our neighbor's driveway, and we share one of those entrances and exits. So on move in day, our trash can was in the shared drive, roped off to keep people from going in that drive, which we thought was odd. Like, have we already pissed somebody off? And so we were like, oh, let's do something nice like go get cookies and introduce ourselves to that neighbor. But before we could do that. We actually saw her go to get her mail. And my husband, humble brag. He's pretty cute, and he's really nice. So, you know, I'm like, let's send him out there to talk to this old lady.

[Dan Rather]

Sure. As an ambassador of the.

[Katie]

Yeah, go schmooze a little bit. Go rub elbows with this old lady neighbor. And so he goes out, she's wearing a moo Moo. She has a walking stick and some big cataract glasses.

[Mia]

Oh, wow.

[Katie]

Already kind of giving off character energy.

[Monica Padman]

She feels like she's a wizard trying to pretend to be a Muggle and is not doing a great job.

[Dan Rather]

Okay, that's interesting, too. Yeah.

[Katie]

I'm trying to remember what character. There's a weird old lady in Harry Potter.

[Monica Padman]

That's definitely her squib or something like that.

[Katie]

Creepy jump scared. Rob also has images of this lady.

[Dan Rather]

Yeah, Yeah. I have him stacked up here. But I'm gonna wait to reveal it.

[Mia]

Okay.

[Dan Rather]

Because you tell me to.

[Katie]

So anyway, he goes and he talks to her, and he comes back, he's like, oh, she's nice. She put the trash can there. Cause there was a small pothole and there had been people looking at the house. She didn't want someone to get their car damaged. Something, something. Okay, great. She said her husband was in the hospital with a bladder infection. Check up on her, you know, if we don't see her for a while or something. Cause she was there by herself right now. She did say some kind of kooky old lady things. One example was she said, don' you just love the night?

[Monica Padman]

Oh, wow.

[Katie]

And he was like, okay. She said something about how she just loves to stay up and she watches tv. And so, of course, then we continued to say, don't you just love the night? As, like, a weird thing to creep each other out.

[Dan Rather]

Yeah, yeah.

[Katie]

They exchanged phone numbers just so that we could contact her if we hadn't seen her in a while. She's in her late 70s. We just saw Wicked, so we're gonna call her Mrs. Glenda.

[Dan Rather]

Okay.

[Katie]

A couple weeks later, after we move in, we go to dinner. We come back, and we're dilly dallying around the house, and we see a bullet hole through the window.

[Monica Padman]

Oh, my.

[Katie]

We did call the police. And we said, we think there's a bullet hole. There's also an image of this. It went all the way into the dining room.

[Dan Rather]

Yes. I got a photo of your open floor plan living room with a dining.

[Katie]

So next to that pasta painting, there's like, A nick in the drywall. And then if you look at those three windows to the left there, it came from one of those windows.

[Mia]

Got it.

[Katie]

So it literally went, like, all the way across and then into that drywall that we had to then patch up.

[Dan Rather]

And were the cops able to see that when they arrived?

[Katie]

Yeah, they took a report, but they also basically were like, well, you're in the south. You're kind of in a wooded area, even though you are in city limits. So it might be someone hunting where they're not supposed to. Nothing we can really do. Time moves. On October, my husband called to check on her because we hadn't seen her in a bit. Usually we would see her going to get her mail almost daily. And she said, actually, there is something you can do for me. You can call the police. Oh, I want to file a report. There have been people watching me and trespassing on my property. So we're kind of getting weirded out because we just had this bullet hole. So we call, they come out, they talk to her. We don't hear anything about that because it's not really our business. But we get to November. We came home from an OB appointment, and as I was walking back out to the car to get something out of the car, my husband rushed me back inside and said, miss, Glinda's dancing around with a gun. Go back inside.

[Monica Padman]

Oh, my God.

[Katie]

And I was, like, dancing around with a gun. And he was like, go downstairs and I'll come get you.

[Dan Rather]

Glenda is dancing around with a gun.

[Katie]

What?

[Dan Rather]

That'd be a great title for a short story.

[Katie]

He comes back in and he's called the police, obviously. And he said she came out from behind the side of her house, where we can see her from our house, and said that she was wearing, like, a helmet. And he said she had a rifle slung over her shoulders.

[Monica Padman]

Oh, my God.

[Katie]

And was yelling and doing almost like a scarecrow looking sort of movement, very odd. Then he said that the helmet kind of tilted down over her face, and then she tripped and almost dropped the rifle.

[Dan Rather]

It's like a mix of a comedy routine and scary.

[Katie]

If it wasn't a gun, it would be like a different situation, but once the gun is in the mix, we're having an issue. So the police come, they talk to her, apparently, and then they come talk to us, since we're the ones that called. And they said that she definitely seemed kind of off, but they didn't see the firearm. And they said she was holding a cardboard box with the words Birth control scribbled on it.

[Monica Padman]

What?

[Katie]

She told the cops that she had been filming a video for her kids. Uh.

[Dan Rather]

Oh, okay.

[Katie]

So we're already getting into weird territory.

[Dan Rather]

Yeah. If I'm the law enforcement, I'm like, I can't really put these three new pieces of evidence into one cohesive thought. They seem very unrelated.

[Katie]

Bizarre. So we get to February. One day, she came and banged on our door. We weren't home, but when we did get home, we saw her, like, walking out around her house, and she kind of yelled across the yard, hey, don't use my driveway anymore.

[Dan Rather]

Oh.

[Katie]

And we were like, okay, no problem.

[Dan Rather]

That was kind of you. I would have objected at this point.

[Katie]

I'm two months postpartum, so I'm like, literally, whatever I can do to not have you talk to me.

[Dan Rather]

Awesome, right?

[Katie]

So we stop using that driveway. We don't even walk up it when we get our mail, even though our mailbox is on that side now. We go, like, all the way around. So later this month, my husband shoots. We have, like, a target in the yard. And so he's standing out in the driveway area shooting this target. And he had our baby in the bassinet stroller situation just out with him. I'm inside, and I hear a gunshot. I'm immediately freaking out because I know that this woman has a gun, and I know that my husband and my baby are outside. And so I run out. I don't see either one of them. So now I'm even more panicked. And then I realize he's down the street on the phone with who I assume at the moment is the cops. And so I'm like, okay, thank God they're okay, at least. But I did see her holding a pistol, like, walking into her car.

[Dan Rather]

She also has a pistol. So she's got a rifle and a pistol. She's very well armed.

[Katie]

Yes. Which isn't abnormal in the South. But this is when we get into an issue where it's like, how do you take away someone's guns when they are not mentally sound enough to have them? Which she clearly is not. The cops come, they file a police report. And literally in the police report, it says, cops advise the suspect that it is illegal to discharge a weapon in city limits.

[Dan Rather]

That's it. Just a reminder.

[Katie]

Hey, FYI, that's illegal. And she did admit she was like, oh, I was just shooting at the woods.

[Monica Padman]

Oh, my God.

[Katie]

Okay, I have to figure out who this person. Does she actually have children?

[Monica Padman]

What about the husband that was in the hospital?

[Dan Rather]

Yeah, did he ever return to him?

[Katie]

To this day, we have never seen the husband.

[Dan Rather]

Okay, maybe there was no husband.

[Monica Padman]

Yeah, that sounds right.

[Katie]

We have a lot of theories. Obviously, you know, did she kill the husband? We don't know.

[Monica Padman]

Also, those bladder infections can get you.

[Dan Rather]

Yeah, men don't get em. Generally, it's more of a female thing.

[Katie]

I do some online sleuthing, and I do find that she has two adult children. One, at least I knew, lived in town. He was a realtor. And so I found his cell phone on his realtor website, and I called him and I explained the situation. I'm like, hey, we live next door to your mother. She's firing guns. Can we figure this out? And he was like, oh, we're estranged. He says a few years ago, he tried to talk to her about her mental health, and she basically said, you're trying to steal my money and my house and put me in a home. Don't talk to me.

[Dan Rather]

Oh, boy.

[Katie]

And so he suggests calling the sister. He says, last I heard, they were still talking. Maybe give her a call. So he gives me her phone number. I call her. She says, we're estranged. Talk to my brother.

[Monica Padman]

Oh, my God.

[Katie]

Cool. I am on my own. But he did tell me that his father had had a stroke a few years back. And he said, to his knowledge, the father is still alive and wasn't in a home.

[Monica Padman]

Okay.

[Katie]

In March, my husband leaves the house. He's a director of a soccer club.

[Dan Rather]

Can I ask a quick question? The time you came out, where you shooting the bow? And he was down the road, did he tell you what had happened? Had she come out and just started firing in his direction?

[Katie]

He also heard the gun, and then he saw her walking around the house. But anyways, he leaves to go to soccer practice. I'm home alone with the baby, and here comes Ms. Glinda to the house. She starts ringing the doorbell and banging on the front door. I'm not gonna answer because I don't know if she has a gun. I don't know what's happening. And I'm by myself with the baby.

[Dan Rather]

I'm now allowing myself to look at all the photos. I assume this is from the incident.

[Katie]

Yeah.

[Dan Rather]

And so for the listener, Katie has done a perfect job describing her. She does look like a character out of a Wes Anderson movie or something. There's one where she's got her wrists bent, like she's almost a little over it. Okay. So she starts ringing the bell.

[Katie]

And this is where the upper deck, wraparound deck, comes into Play. So essentially, she's ringing the bell. She's banging on the door. I have two big dogs. They start going absolutely nuts. So I'm like, okay, I'm just gonna take me and the dogs and go into the bedroom. She'll think we're not home. Also, I have a sl baby downstairs. I'm trying not to wake the baby. You know, it's not like she realizes no one's answering and she leaves. She starts circling the deck and she's banging on every single door. She's jiggling door handles. She's banging on every window. She's looking in. Oh, she laps the entire deck two times. She goes out to the garage area. She goes. Like she's going to maybe even go into the downstairs backyard area. And at this point, I'm freaking out. I don't know if she has a gun on her. I don't know if I've accidentally left a door open. What if I've done that and she comes into my house thinking that I'm in her house?

[Mia]

Sure.

[Katie]

So I'm calling my husband. I'm in tears. And he immediately rushes home. He's on the phone with me the whole way. And I have this on video, even though he wouldn't want me to share it. But my husband's very non confrontational. I'm very confrontational. You just see in the video, like, he squeals up into the driveway. She's coming around at the front door and she's like, hey, neighbor, how's it going?

[Dan Rather]

Oh, she's code switched.

[Katie]

And he's like, you have my phone number. There is no reason for you to be on our property over here. Banging on doors, jiggling door handles. She starts to get pissy. They get into a cussing argument. She's walking back to her house, like, cussing him out. We call the police, file a police report, et cetera, et cetera. Like we do every one of these incidents. And all of the days and weeks after this confrontation, she's walking out to her mailbox and like, flipping us off. After this, I filed an APS report, Adult Protective Services. Because I'm like, she's off her rocker. She might be her husband's primary caretaker. None of her kids can get through to her. I don't know what else to do. And I do know that they came out for a visit because they accidentally came to our house. I'm not privy to the info after that. So this leads me to my final event. We get to April while my husband and I were out. Ms. Glenda comes onto our property holding what looks like open mail. She's throwing the mail everywhere. She walked towards our front door, and she's saying, hello, Katie and Rex, our names. And she's proceeding to scream at our dogs through the window. That's that one photo where it looks like she's screaming.

[Dan Rather]

Yeah, yeah. The description I left out is it looks like there's a zombie circling your house. That's actually what it looks like. Like there's an undead trying to come in.

[Katie]

It's terrifying.

[Eric]

Yeah.

[Katie]

And she's saying, where are you? Walks around the entirety of the deck multiple times doing the same thing, jiggling the door handles, knocking on everything. And then again, we call and report this to the police. When the police come this time, they're like, would you like us to go criminally ban her from your property? And I'm like, sure. Great.

[Dan Rather]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Katie]

Why are we just now doing this? So they go. They attempt to make contact, but she doesn't answer the door. So they can't criminally ban her because she doesn't answer the door.

[Monica Padman]

Oh, my God. That's the.

[Dan Rather]

A very arbitrary system we have here.

[Monica Padman]

Yeah.

[Katie]

Yes. I don't know if this is a state thing, but you can't file a restraining order unless there's already been evidence of physical altercation.

[Dan Rather]

You can't prove she shot through the window, even though we know she shot through the window.

[Katie]

Exactly. Again, my husband leaves to go to soccer practice, and I am home alone with the baby. And here she comes again. This is later the same day.

[Monica Padman]

Oh, my God, she's back.

[Katie]

I see her coming, and I'm on the phone with 911, and I'm like, y'all better come here right now. I'm done with this lady in my head. I'm like, I'm about to let my dogs out.

[Dan Rather]

It's time to escalate.

[Katie]

Yeah, exactly. And also, they keep saying, well, we can't do anything unless we catch her on the property. And I'm like, I have video evidence of her being on the property. What's the point of the videos then? I don't know.

[Dan Rather]

Yeah, great question.

[Katie]

So she comes up to the door, starts doing her typical routine, but then she gets angry at the dogs and screams again. And then she throws a bag of charcoal at the window where the dogs are barking at her. And then on her way back to her house, she knocks the grill over.

[Dax Shepard]

Oh.

[Katie]

Again, all this on video. The cops come, and then this time, they do make contact, and they do Criminally ban her. And basically they say she's being really nice. Like, I just wanted to see if someone still lived there. I hadn't seen them in a while.

[Monica Padman]

Oh, my God.

[Katie]

And then they said, the second that they said, ma'am, there's video evidence of you doing this. She like flipped and was like, I don't care, arrest me. Then immediately had this weird reaction. So I don't know if there's a dementia element going on.

[Monica Padman]

Kind of sounds like it.

[Katie]

It's sad.

[Dan Rather]

Well, I'm also wondering if she is just hammered, is she just an old drunk? Does she get shit face and come up with these crazy ideas and she got to get over to your property and could be a lot of things. It's the guns that really turn it into something that needs to be taken seriously.

[Monica Padman]

And her coming over every 14 minutes after this.

[Katie]

The cops are basically like, if I were you, I would file an affidavit and basically say that you want her to be charged with discharging a weapon in city limits, harassment and trespassing. She does get charged. As far as I know. She had to appear in court. So I guess she has a record now. From then on, we really have not seen much of her other than her going to get her mail. And then also, apparently she had been walking around the neighborhood during a heat advisory and knocking on doors asking for help. One lady, this is the one that came and talked to us, answered the door and she said something about, I don't know where my husband is, they took him away from me. And so she was like, okay, well, I can't really help with that, but I can at least drive you back to your house. And then she showed up the following night in the middle of the night, saying the same thing.

[Monica Padman]

Oh, yeah, there's some. Yeah.

[Dan Rather]

You know what we need societally? We need some rung between jail and total freedom. Them. You're not rounding them up and throwing them in a, like, mental institution. But there's got to be like a state run kind of retirement home. We could put you in some option. That's not incarcerating them. But also this gal probably needs some supervision.

[Monica Padman]

Yeah, there should be some sort of mandate if you're wreaking a lot of havoc, like you have to Yosemite, slam.

[Dan Rather]

On your yard, popping off pistols.

[Monica Padman]

Jeez.

[Dan Rather]

Oh, wow.

[Dax Shepard]

And you still live next to her.

[Dan Rather]

So this is more to come.

[Monica Padman]

She could have knocked during this. It would have been so great.

[Katie]

My dream is that someone at the end of their crazy neighbor story just Goes. I have a shout out. Can I just bring in real quick? And it's their neighbor.

[Monica Padman]

Well, you're the first, so it might happen.

[Katie]

Okay.

[Dan Rather]

I hope you'll write us if there's any update in this story because I have a bad hunch.

[Monica Padman]

Yeah, this isn't.

[Dan Rather]

I mean, you're still right next to each other.

[Katie]

It's not great.

[Monica Padman]

Oh, man.

[Dan Rather]

Boy, I'm.

[Dax Shepard]

I'm sorry.

[Dan Rather]

Last thing you think you're going to be living in fear of is an old old lady.

[Monica Padman]

It sucks.

[Katie]

It's like, oh, we have this sweet old lady and we just had this baby.

[Dan Rather]

Yeah.

[Monica Padman]

The stakes are so high because the option is to move. Ugh.

[Dan Rather]

Yeah. Well, Katie, I wish you a ton of luck with Ms. Grendel. Glendal. Glenda, Ms. Glenda, Ms. Grundle.

[Katie]

I'm going to give a quick shout out. My mother in law, Lee was sad that she couldn't be up here to pop in at the end.

[Dan Rather]

Oh, we miss Lee.

[Katie]

She started listening to this with me like a road trip.

[Dan Rather]

It caught her.

[Katie]

I reeled her right in.

[Dan Rather]

Oh, good job. Take more people on car rides.

[Katie]

Okay, I'll try.

[Dan Rather]

Well, great meeting you, Katie. Be well and good luck with her.

[Katie]

All right, you too.

[Dan Rather]

All right, bye.

[Dax Shepard]

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[Monica Padman]

I'm so excited to listen to James, which is a new title by Percival Everett that is very, very hot right now.

[Dax Shepard]

Well, there's so many good ones on the list.

[Monica Padman]

We love Audible. This is how you go to bed.

[Dax Shepard]

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[Monica Padman]

Security is really important.

[Dan Rather]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Monica Padman]

There was a whole situation in my apartment and it was reminding me that I really like security's important.

[Dax Shepard]

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[Dan Rather]

Maya Miramara. Miranmar. Hello.

[Mia]

Nice to meet you.

[Dan Rather]

Nice to meet you. Is it Maya?

[Mandy]

It's Mia.

[Dan Rather]

It's Mia. I threw that out there as an other option.

[Monica Padman]

You did.

[Dan Rather]

It sounds like someone's using an electric toothbrush behind you.

[Mandy]

Yeah, I think there's construction that literally started outside the window one minute ago.

[Dan Rather]

Welcome to our world. Every time we start to record, it's like, oh, they're going to mow the grass right now.

[Mandy]

Like me to call back. I can also do that.

[Dax Shepard]

No, no, we'll party.

[Dan Rather]

People are used to hearing a bunch of okay, where are you at, Mia?

[Mandy]

So I'm currently calling from San Francisco. I live in San Diego, but we're up here for the week visiting friends and my husband's family. And funnily enough, this is where the story takes place. Late 2015, one of my best friends, Dominica Shout out. She and I were living together. We were living in a typical old Victorian style San Francisco apartment. We were on the first floor. We had a neighbor who lived directly above us. Prior to this event we had very typical kind of almost expected noise complaints. Walking with shoes on in the middle of the night, performatively loud sex. Always like on weekdays.

[Dan Rather]

Did you get a visual on the upstairs neighbor? What kind of gentleman was he?

[Mandy]

Sorry, I should have clarified. It was a girl. I would say up until this point it's sort of noise. You kind of sign up for living in an old apartment. Anyways, one night Domenica and I are coming home from a night out. It Wasn't all that late for, like, a Friday night. It was maybe 11pm and we are walking up to our building. We get out of our Uber. Domenica's a little bit ahead of me. She turns the corner to walk into our building, and there's a few steps up, a very large glass door looking into our lobbying. Domenica quickly turns back around, walks to me, and is like, someone's getting eaten out.

[Dax Shepard]

Oh.

[Dan Rather]

This scale's a party. Okay.

[Monica Padman]

She's an exhibitionist.

[Dan Rather]

I just have to say there's something crazier about that than even fucking 100%.

[Mandy]

In order to get to the lobby, there's a few stairs, and then the first floor is sort of on an elevated level. So she walking up and had bent over to give you a visual, and the skirt was lifted from behind.

[Monica Padman]

Oh, wow.

[Dan Rather]

He's eating her out from behind. Can I ask one question about the neighbor? What age would you say she was?

[Mandy]

I would say she was a bit older than us. So we were mid-20s. I would guess around 30.

[Dan Rather]

Okay. Not 60?

[Mia]

No.

[Dan Rather]

I feel like that would be really relevant. Okay.

[Mandy]

We sort of step back and decide what to do. And Dominica and I decide, like, okay, I'm gonna knock and then step back to give her a little privacy. If it were me, I would probably sprint to my apartment and, like, shut the door. So we knock, we step back, give it a second, and then we walk. And they're standing there, like, almost waiting for us.

[Dax Shepard]

Oh, wow.

[Dan Rather]

You think this is a kink?

[Monica Padman]

Yeah, I think she's an exhibitionist for sure.

[Katie]

I agree.

[Mandy]

And I had a feeling you guys were gonna say that as well. So we punch in the code, we walk in, and we kind of are like, okay, let's just walk right by. Leave it be. And the girl says to me, oh, my God, what are the chances of walking?

[Dan Rather]

Well, pretty high. You getting out in the lobby? Yeah, pretty high. Someone's gonna see.

[Mandy]

That's kind of what I said. I said, I think pretty high.

[Monica Padman]

Was she weird? What was her personality like in general?

[Mandy]

We didn't know her very well, so we think she was in alcohol distribution. I wasn't maybe looking to be her friend.

[Dax Shepard]

Yeah, right.

[Monica Padman]

That's my mode too.

[Mandy]

You were just cordial in the hallways after that.

[Monica Padman]

Wow.

[Dan Rather]

I don't feel like these people ever get paired with the right people. Like, I would have been the dream neighbor for her. I would have been very encouraging of this behavior. I would have thought it was spectacular. You never get the neighbor you want.

[Monica Padman]

I don't think Think they want that?

[Dan Rather]

They don't. They want me to be shocked.

[Monica Padman]

They want shock. That's part of the thrill of doing that.

[Dan Rather]

So did it ever escalate beyond the getting eaten out in the foyer of the building?

[Mandy]

It didn't. After that, I mean, she continued on with her regular antics.

[Dan Rather]

I'm gonna go out on a limb and say she might have also had a little bit of a drinking problem herself. Maybe.

[Monica Padman]

She might have.

[Dan Rather]

Yeah.

[Mandy]

I think there was some substance that evening for sure.

[Monica Padman]

God, if she was sober, that. That's scarier.

[Dan Rather]

Well, true. Yeah.

[Mandy]

Wild experience. I think she moved out shortly after that.

[Dax Shepard]

What are the odds?

[Dan Rather]

Mia, that was incredible. I'm sorry you witnessed that. And I'm also jealous that you witnessed that.

[Mandy]

It got me here. So I'll end on the typical fangirl moment. I've been listening to you guys from the beginning, so I've been listening through many, many phases of life. Most recently, I just had a baby boy six months ago.

[Dan Rather]

Congrats.

[Monica Padman]

Congratulations.

[Mandy]

I did also want to share that our baby boy is named Crosby.

[Dan Rather]

Oh, wonder. Wonderful.

[Katie]

Sweet.

[Mandy]

And if it's okay, I'll bring him in.

[Dan Rather]

Yeah. Oh, my God. Oh, no. Look at. Do you have the roundest cheeks?

[Dax Shepard]

Crosby.

[Dan Rather]

Hi, little buddy.

[Monica Padman]

He is so.

[Dan Rather]

Oh, my goodness.

[Dax Shepard]

Hi.

[Dan Rather]

Congratulations.

[Monica Padman]

What a beautiful family you have.

[Dan Rather]

Yeah, very San Diego.

[Eric]

Thank you.

[Katie]

Yes.

[Mandy]

This is my husband, Benji.

[Dan Rather]

Could be on the COVID of, like, American. That's too outdated. American eagle. Abercrombie. Yeah, Abercrombie family tummy. Hilfiger.

[Monica Padman]

Like, maybe Ralph Lauren, even.

[Dan Rather]

Yeah, Ralph Lauren.

[Monica Padman]

Sure.

[Mandy]

Oh, we'll take it.

[Dan Rather]

All right, well, nice meeting all of you. Congratulations. Take care.

[Monica Padman]

Oh, my God. I want to squish that baby.

[Eric]

Yeah.

[Monica Padman]

He was so cute.

[Dan Rather]

Chew on the cheeks a little bit. Chomp, chomp, chomp, chomp, chomp.

[Dax Shepard]

I like to chomp on cheeks. Do any chomping on Delta's cheeks when.

[Dan Rather]

You had the chance?

[Monica Padman]

I probably did.

[Dax Shepard]

Chomp, chomp chomp up.

[Monica Padman]

Hello?

[Dan Rather]

Can you hear us?

[Eric]

I can hear you. Can you hear me?

[Monica Padman]

Yes, we got you.

[Dan Rather]

Is it Eric?

[Eric]

It is. Yes.

[Dan Rather]

Okay, wonderful. I'm loving the room you're in. It's throwing me back to my uncle's rec room in the basement of the house. Very wood. I love it.

[Eric]

Oh, yeah. Mid century modern. It's my little office here.

[Dan Rather]

And is this the home in which you had a crazy neighbor, or does it predate this house?

[Eric]

This is a new house.

[Monica Padman]

Okay. Oh, maybe because of.

[Dan Rather]

We'll see.

[Eric]

This is about 10 years ago, so there's a few characters, obviously, my wife being one of them. She's kind of social butterfly, the opposite of me. Texas girl, Southern. Everywhere we go, she's talking with people and people love her. She's adorable and got dimples, blonde hair. So basically, wherever we go, she's finding friends. And I'm trying to lose the friends she's making sometimes.

[Monica Padman]

Yes.

[Eric]

And so we moved into our new house. We left the city of Rochester to move to a little town right on the outskirts of it. We were just so excited because it was tucked away, it was quiet, not a lot of hustle and bustle from the city. So we were just really excited to move in. The house was set back a little bit, so the driveway was a little bit longer than everyone else's. We get there and obviously we're making friends right away. My wife's talking with all the neighbors. Everyone's super nice. There's one particular neighbor right next door to us. Her name's Betty. She's about a 60 year old Italian woman. Seems really sweet. We kind of hit it off, talking at the end of the driveway. Neighborly things. Everyone's really supportive in our neighborhood. And there was another neighbor across the street. His name's Randy. He was kind of like a bachelor guy, retired, but only like 47, 48 years old. So he retired kind of early. I think he worked for like the sheriff's department or something. Real nice guy. So late summer, we just moved in. The neighbor next door, Betty, brings over a gift. Gift. And it's a little broom, dustpan and a frisbee.

[Dan Rather]

Oh, interesting mix.

[Eric]

Yeah. We're like, okay, great. Thank you so much. That's nice. I found it odd because the only thing left in our house previously, you know, we moved in, it was empty. It was a couple cans of paint and a dustpan and a broom and a Frisbee.

[Monica Padman]

What?

[Dax Shepard]

Oh my God.

[Dan Rather]

Like maybe she had gifted that to the previous owner.

[Eric]

Exactly. But this is the only thing in the home.

[Monica Padman]

Weird.

[Eric]

They moved out and left.

[Dan Rather]

Left.

[Eric]

Just these things. Right.

[Dan Rather]

That's very weird.

[Eric]

I work a lot of evenings and weekends so I can come home and Mandy and Randy and Betty will be outside chatting, maybe having a little smoke break, having a cocktail, that kind of thing.

[Mia]

Fall rolls around.

[Eric]

Betty starts asking my wife, can you take out my dog once in a while when I'm running errands, they have a few cocktail hours, things like that. She's a stay at home mom, my wife. So it was just nice that she was hanging out with other retired people. And had some company during the day and while I was at work and things, you know, it was just a pretty typical fall, Nothing too crazy. Winter rolls around, and I'll shovel her driveway once in a while. You know, everyone's helping out. Randy comes by with his snow blower, and we'll clear the end of each other's driveways. After the big plow comes through and we're all helping each other out, Betty would ask my wife for a couple rides to the doctor when it was snowing or things like that. And that's when I was like, maybe you just tell her no once in a while, Even if you're available, Just to make sure we're keeping not on.

[Dan Rather]

A trajectory that's untenable.

[Eric]

Yeah, good fences make good neighbors kind of approach. Just another couple things that sparked my curiosity to. My office was in the front of the house, so I could kind of see at the end. And Betty would stop the mailman and talk for, like, an hour to the mailman. I'm like, this is not sustainable here. You know, I just can't imagine, like, why would the mailman wait that long? Maybe he's lonely. I don't know. He was a younger guy. But then the mailman started showing up in street clothes to her house. Oh, that's a little weird. I don't know if you're supposed to have a relationship with the mailman like that. So spring rolls around, and I see an ambulance across the street at Randy's house there. And it turns out he died suddenly.

[Dan Rather]

Oh, my goodness.

[Dax Shepard]

At 48.

[Eric]

Young guy, you know, he smoked 10 packs of cigarettes a day, it seemed like. And 30 Coors, like. Like a day kind of habit, so we weren't surprised. But I guess he had a heart attack, Called his dad a few hours before, saying he was having some issues, and then passed away. So that was really sad. He was a real nice guy. We missed him. And that's kind of when things got a little weird. We started seeing Betty in a robe all the time, not really out and about. Like, she was walking her dog. She would just walk her dog to the end of the street. And then one day, she just came out, Just yelling at kids, playing basketball in the middle of the day. And I walked out there and was just like, you know, oh, hey, calm down. Gonna give yourself a heart attack. She was really worked up again. Another check mark. Maybe things aren't as stable as we thought here. And then she started yelling at us from the fence, Waiting for us to, like, drive by on the driveway and kind of yell right at the car. She's yelling that my wife killed Randy.

[Monica Padman]

Oh my God.

[Dan Rather]

She has some theories.

[Eric]

Yes.

[Monica Padman]

Wow.

[Eric]

That we ruined the neighbor neighborhood.

[Dan Rather]

Everything was good until you arrived for.

[Eric]

Like the bad luck or something. So that's when I was like, okay, no more connection. Let's just ignore. I had a 10 year old son at the time. I told him Betty's sick. And we kind of left it at that. Well, early summer now. I came home late at night, pulled in the driveway, got out of my car and it was just terrible smell. This is bad, you know. Is it my trash can or something?

[Dan Rather]

Yeah.

[Eric]

We're about 300ft from one of the great lakes, so you can get some kind of terrible smells once while it's summertime. I'm like, ah, that's weird. But I'm tired, it's late. I'll solve this problem tomorrow. Maybe we'll be gone. I wake up in the morning, I get some errands to run at Home Depot. I hop in my truck that was parked in the driveway the previous night. I still smell this terrible smell. I'm like, what is this? Look around, look in the trash can. I just can't seem to find it. I hop in the truck, I go to Home Depot. I take this road. It's through a park, very windy, 25 miles an hour. I'm driving on this road and someone just passes me, you know, double line, shouldn't be passing me. Gives me a dirty look. I'm like, what's going on? Sunday morning, everyone relax, keep driving. I come to a red light and I see this truck behind me. And then he kind of backs up and then pulls alongside me. And this truck was like a farm truck. The doors don't match the paint. There's two gentlemen there, they're real kind of dirty guys. And he kind of makes this motion, like a hitchhiker or something. Motion. Wasn't sure what exactly he was doing. The light turns green. I'm like, what is going on today? Why is everyone just looking weird? And I pull into the Home Depot. I go past the entrance and again I just noticed everyone looks so angry today. I'm just so confused. Pull into a parking spot, step out of my truck. I took a few steps and it just, it hit me, the smell. And I looked down and tied to my bumper is a dead animal.

[Monica Padman]

Oh my God.

[Eric]

Dragging this animal through my town on a Sunday morning, through my town. And everyone's trying to tell me. And that's why everyone's so angry and passive.

[Dan Rather]

What kind of cycle are you? Were you able to identify the carcass immediately or did you know what kind of animal?

[Eric]

First I thought it was my cat.

[Dan Rather]

Okay.

[Eric]

And I was in shock. Did get a closer look. It was a raccoon.

[Monica Padman]

Oh, wow.

[Eric]

It was tied around its neck with, like, a USB cable and then like a wired mouse, then attached to my bumper.

[Dan Rather]

Oh, my God.

[Monica Padman]

Oh, my God.

[Eric]

And again, I'm looking around, everyone's looking at me. I got nothing to say. I'm in shock. You know, people are clenching their kids in the Home Depot parking lot. Like, look at this monster dragon roadkill. And then I'll call him the Home Depot angel. The guy who's collecting the carts comes over, kind of breaks, breaks the silence as the crowd is gathered around me and I'm unsure what to do. Everyone else is unsure what to do and just looks at me and goes, looks like he caught something.

[Dan Rather]

Oh, that's a nice icebreaker, I guess.

[Eric]

Yeah. He's there to help. And he's like, no worries, man. I'll be right back. Comes back with a bucket and a shovel. We cut this guy loose and he scoops him up, puts him in the bucket.

[Mandy]

Oh.

[Eric]

And he's like, I'll take care of this. I'll throw it in the dumpster.

[Dan Rather]

Yeah. Did you grease this kid? 10 bucks or anything?

[Eric]

I was in shock. What I did is a few days days later, I gave him a good review.

[Dan Rather]

Oh, my God.

[Dax Shepard]

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[Monica Padman]

Yes. Okay. They also have. They're called ultra strength stretch point P O N T E straight leg pants. And they are really, really great. They're great for travel.

[Dax Shepard]

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[Monica Padman]

Therapy is essential to me during the holidays, especially because I generally am going home, right? Yes, and I need sort of some stability and guidance to stay nice.

[Dax Shepard]

Well, if you've ever been considering starting therapy, give BetterHelp a try. It's completely online so it's easy to integrate into your schedule. BetterHelp is flexible too. It's easy to book or move appointments on their platform, and if the therapist your match with isn't the right fit, you can switch therapists at any time for no additional charge. Find comfort this December with BetterHelp. Visit betterhelp.comdax today to get 10% off your first month. That's BetterHelp. H E L p.comdax we are supported by Squarespace. If you've been to the Armchair Expert website, you've seen Squarespace in action. Wabi Wab made our website using Squarespace, the all in one website platform for entrepreneurs to stand out and succeed online. What I love about Squarespace is aside from the functionality, it's just so visually pleasing and Rob was able to whip this up in no time with all the incredible templates that were available to.

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Him and it looks very profesh.

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[Eric]

I put pieces together and realized that she must have at night her or someone, maybe the mailman.

[Dan Rather]

She enlisted him in her plan, possibly.

[Eric]

To put this kind a roadkill attached to my truck underneath so that I wouldn't see it until I pulled out and pulled away. And then I just went down to the police station the next day and was like, I'm not concerned about this woman hurting us, but that's a lot of diseases on this raccoon.

[Dan Rather]

Well, and minimally. You go, hey, this is escalating. So they were shouting from the fence. Now we've got carrion attached to the bumper. What's next?

[Eric]

Exactly. She moved a few years after that, and then we moved a few years after she left.

[Dan Rather]

Do you think they called her and said, hey, take your foot off the gas on your neighbor. We're aware of what's going. Why do you think it stopped and she didn't continue to escalate?

[Eric]

They came over to the house. The police talked with her and some of the other neighbors. I just think about all the signs. Everyone is kind of warning us. Even the previous owner of the home kind of just left what they gave her. Right? Yeah.

[Dan Rather]

They didn't want to take it with them.

[Katie]

Yes.

[Dan Rather]

I wish I could talk to her, because my big curiosity now after hearing the whole story, is, were they slashing prices on a broom, dustpan, Frisbee combo? And she's like, I'm going to pick up five of these and I'll give them out. Or is every time someone moves and she's like, oh, I know the perfect thing to get, and then she goes and gets a new one.

[Monica Padman]

I kind of think it's that.

[Dan Rather]

You do?

[Monica Padman]

Yeah. Like, she's like, this is the gift to give new neighbors.

[Dan Rather]

Yeah.

[Eric]

She said something about it being good luck. They give someone a broom or something. So the saying it was good luck, and then the people leaving it behind.

[Dan Rather]

When you move out. That would have been great if you left it next to the other one.

[Eric]

I did.

[Katie]

You did?

[Monica Padman]

Yeah. That's hilarious.

[Dan Rather]

Oh, yeah.

[Eric]

There was two sets of Frisbees.

[Monica Padman]

Oh, my God, that is so funny.

[Eric]

I was not bringing that to my next home.

[Dan Rather]

It's kind of like a horror movie.

[Monica Padman]

It is, yeah. But also the broom kind of foreshadowing, which you needed to clean up eventually.

[Eric]

It was very interesting.

[Monica Padman]

Wow.

[Eric]

I thank you for letting me tell that story. Hopefully it was somewhat interesting.

[Dan Rather]

Oh, incredibly. I'm always encouraged when women turn out to be shitty as well, like men are, because we're just so universally shitty. It's nice when women are shitty. And I'm delighted that we have a couple stories now where the perpetrator is a crazy lady. And then this wearing the night wear out. That's a guaranteed part of the Pattern, Right. Same with our last person who dealt with a crazy gal.

[Monica Padman]

Oh, wow.

[Dan Rather]

Well, Eric, great meeting you. What a bizarre and interesting story.

[Eric]

My wife really got me into armchair expert. We pretty much only listen when we go on road trips. And she kind of created a monster. She's like, you know, can we listen to music once in a while? I'm ready to binge on experts. On experts. And she needs a little bit of tunage and relaxation in between.

[Dan Rather]

Oh, that's delightful. Well, I hope you guys take a million more road trips.

[Eric]

Yeah. Can she pop in and say hello?

[Dan Rather]

Of course. Yeah. This is the gal from Texas who's very hospitable.

[Eric]

My beautiful Southern bride. Her name's Mandy.

[Monica Padman]

Hi.

[Dan Rather]

Hi. Mandy from Texas.

[Sarah]

Hello.

[Dan Rather]

Where in Texas?

[Sarah]

I was born in Austin.

[Dan Rather]

Oh, you lucky duck.

[Sarah]

My grandparents, it was kind of a bummer when they moved. I'm sorry, when they died.

[Dan Rather]

Moved on to heaven.

[Sarah]

The family sold the house. I was like, no, don't sell the house.

[Mia]

Keep it in the fam.

[Dan Rather]

But they did.

[Sarah]

It's okay.

[Monica Padman]

I have a question. Why'd you kill Randy?

[Eric]

Yeah.

[Dan Rather]

What was it that Randy had done that made you want to turn homicidal? Great question.

[Sarah]

I feel like I gave Randy a nice out from Betty.

[Dan Rather]

Sure, sure, sure, sure.

[Sarah]

I feel bad. Poor Randy. I think he just had a. Yeah, but he did have a stressful job. He worked as a correctional officer.

[Monica Padman]

Oh, wow.

[Dan Rather]

Yeah. I think the rate of alcoholism in all law enforcement is really tragically high. It's a rough job.

[Sarah]

It is. We miss him. He was a good dude.

[Dan Rather]

Well, it's delightful meeting both of you.

[Katie]

This is great.

[Sarah]

Thanks so much for listening to this guy Pratt along.

[Dan Rather]

Oh, I loved it. He sucked us into his rhythm.

[Dax Shepard]

Oh, my gosh.

[Sarah]

I cannot believe that story is out in the open.

[Dan Rather]

All right, be well.

[Eric]

Much love.

[Monica Padman]

Hello.

[Katie]

Hi.

[Mia]

I'm so excited.

[Dan Rather]

We're going to call you Sarah.

[Mia]

Yeah.

[Monica Padman]

Sarah, you have color coded sweaters as I do in your closet.

[Mia]

I do. That's how I decide what to wear. I switch colors kind of every day.

[Monica Padman]

Love it. It's so cute.

[Dan Rather]

Where do you live?

[Mia]

I'm in Ottawa.

[Dan Rather]

Nice. Are we cold?

[Katie]

Yeah, it is.

[Mia]

We are expecting freezing rain tonight.

[Dan Rather]

Ooh, and what time's it getting dark?

[Mia]

So it's about 4:11 right now. 4:30. It'll probably be pitch blackout.

[Dan Rather]

Oh, wow.

[Monica Padman]

Wow, that's early.

[Dan Rather]

You would not do well.

[Monica Padman]

That's not for me.

[Dan Rather]

Monica wouldn't survive.

[Mia]

It's not really for me either, but I suffered through it for some of the Other benefits of this place.

[Katie]

Sure, that's fair.

[Dan Rather]

So you have a crazy neighbor story.

[Mia]

I do, yeah. Just. Sorry, jump right in. I'm. I'm very nervous. Oh, don't be nervous.

[Dan Rather]

Don't be nervous. You're with your friends Monica and Dax and Wobby Wob.

[Mia]

I just opened my Instagram and like literally first post was Dax, then it was Monica, then it was armchair. I'm like, yeah, I'm an armchair. This story happened in March of 2017, but the background goes a bit before that. So I was living in an apartment. I had been there about one year. It was just me and my dog. And one day I'm out for a walk a few streets away and a man came running up to me and he introduced himself. He said he had just moved in across the hall from me and he recognized me so he wanted to come say hi. And that was fine. It was like a couple streets over, so that was a bit weird. But for the next year and a half there was no issues. He was neighborly. I'd run into him occasionally. He'd pet my dog, he'd say hi through the door to my dog sometimes. I didn't know much about him, but I did pick up a few bits over time. So he was in his late 40s. I don't think he worked. So I do believe he was on like a social assistance program. And he had formerly been an engineer, which is just something that back my mind for later. He had mentioned an out of town boyfriend and he'd sometimes be gone for a few weeks at a time to go visit him. But I never saw the boyfriend come our direction.

[Dan Rather]

Can I ask really quick, how many people live in Ottawa? How populated is the town you're in in this story?

[Mia]

OT has a million people, although it's a spread out city, but the area I was in was fairly dense. Anyway, so then fast forward to about six months before the event in March and I am starting to notice some odd behavior and it continues to escalate over the next several months. So like one thing, like his hair was perfectly normal and it started to get just wilder and wilder and like by the end it was just bleach blonde and completely unkempt and crazy.

[Katie]

Oh wow.

[Mia]

I started to notice that I was running into him more frequently and then it ramped up to being like almost every time I left my apartment that I'd be running into this guy. I felt suspicious. I go out and then he knocked on his window to like wave to me through the window. I was Just starting to feel nervous. It's now early February and I had mentioned to my mom, like, I think I might start looking for somewhere else to live. I just getting like a bad feeling, but wasn't super urgent about it. And then one night in early February, there was an incident in the hallway. I was in my living room and the walls are like paper thin, so I could hear everything in the hallway. And the police showed up. It was not a peaceful sit. There was lots of yelling. I could hear physical struggle out there. And at one point he started doing a religious chant in like a foreign language. And it sounded almost like speaking in tongues.

[Monica Padman]

Oh, God.

[Katie]

Wow.

[Mia]

He was a white French Canadian.

[Monica Padman]

Yeah.

[Mia]

So for about half an hour before the police did take him away. And I was leaving for a trip the next day and it would be gone for a week. I was like, okay, when I get back, I'm looking for an apartment. But then when I came back from my trip, he was nowhere to be seen. So I definitely had like a sense of relief about that. But I also kind of lost my sense of urgency. A small aside, during this period that he's away, I was also talking to the Office of Men about another issue. And she had asked me about him one day and so I started telling her what I'd been noticing. And she told me that she'd actually had to start screening her phone calls because of him, because he had been calling her 20 to 30 times a day. Wow. March 1st, he came back and I just had an immediate sense of dread, like, oh, why did I waste this time? And he was away and not get out of here. And again, I took my dog out, got in, and I went in as quickly as I can. So I shut my door. But then 15 seconds later he knocked on my door and I knew he had just seen me come in, so I like answered it. But he was coming to apologize for the incident that had happened in February. And he explained to me that his nurses had been changing his medication and it had been setting him off and that he had made comments about self harm, which is, is why the police had showed up that night. And he had been in the mental health hospital in Ottawa. But then he proceeded to say, if anything happens again, please don't call the police on me, please call the medics instead. But he then proceeded to go on about a birthday party he wanted to throw in May. It was going to be his 50th, and he wanted to rent out my apartment to do that.

[Monica Padman]

What?

[Mia]

So that he'd have his Apartment. And my apartment.

[Monica Padman]

Oh my God.

[Mia]

And I was like, well, no. And then he's like, well, is it fine? You can lock your bedroom door.

[Dan Rather]

I just throw a party in your living room. Right?

[Monica Padman]

It's fine.

[Mia]

He's super pushy about it. I'm like, we'll talk about it closer too. But full well in my brain being like, I'm not going to be here anymore.

[Katie]

Yeah.

[Mia]

Then March 3rd, I was out at a concert with friends. I was not driving that night. I had parked at my friend's house and she was driving and driving me home after because the next day I was going back to her place anyways for a birthday. So I didn't have my car that night. The potential was there for me to drink, but I was not drunk. I had two drinks over the course of many, many hours. By the time I got home, it was almost 2am Maybe 1:30. So again, my dog had been by himself for a few hours. So I go let him out. I'm coming back in. And he comes out of his apartment. So it kind of blocks me from my way in. And he was very, very close. Clearly high on something. He was super giddy and high energy, jumping around. He was going from topic to topic. At one point he started serenading me. Oh, it was just wild. Like I didn't even know what to do. And then he jumps on me. That earlier that day, he had been planning to bomb the building.

[Dan Rather]

Oh, oh, oh.

[Monica Padman]

Oh my God.

[Mia]

Wow.

[Dan Rather]

He let that slip out.

[Mia]

He was telling me. And then he shows me sitting right in his doorway, the supplies he had bought to do it.

[Monica Padman]

Oh my God.

[Mia]

The thing that sticks out in my mind is, you know those propane casters that you'd use for like a torch? They're kind of narrow, about a foot tall. There was about a dozen of those.

[Dan Rather]

Oh, geez.

[Mia]

And again, remember, he was an engineer. So I'm like, probably had to know how to do that. But he told me then he had changed his mind because he heard my dog whimper and decided he didn't want my dog to get hurt. So that's what made him change his mind about it and that he was going to return the supply supplies the next day.

[Dan Rather]

Oh boy.

[Monica Padman]

Oh, this is horrifying.

[Mia]

Some point during this whole conversation, he handed me a stack of journals. There was like six or seven of them. And he asked me to hang on to them. He said, you can read them, but please don't give them to anybody, especially not the police. And then finally another neighbor on our floor came out and was like, why the hell is their conversation happening at 2am? So I then slipped into my apartment and locked the door. I had no car, so I completely panicked. I read a couple of pages of the journals and then I slammed them shut. I was like, this is too invasive. I can't text my sister. Being like, do you still have a spare room? And then I just shut down and went to bed. I was like, I don't know what I'm gonna do. So then the next day, I was just blocking it out and my friend came over. I finally told her, and she's like, we need to get you out of here. You need to call the police. But my concern with calling the police was that I'm gonna call them, they're gonna deem him not a threat. He's gonna know that I called the police on him when he, three days ago, just told me, please don't call the police. Call the ambulance. Yeah, I have to get my ducks in a row and then report it. But they talked sense into me, like, what if next time nothing stops him? There is other families in here. So I packed up a bag, took my dog, left, called the police, and they did exactly what I expected. Showed up, deemed him not a left. I'm done here. I'm not living in this apartment anymore. Luckily, I have good parents who live nearby, so I was able to go there. And I emailed the office admin again, being like, remember our conversation about this guy? This is what happened. I don't want to live here. I'm paid for the month of March. Can I just break my lease at the end of it instead of the regular 60 days we have to give in Ontario? So they let me out of it. My parents and my brother and sister and one of my friends came, helped me load up my whole apartment in two hours as quickly as we can. While we were there, he did knock on the door and ask if I was there. My dad and brother answered, I was there, but they said I wasn't. He said, I apologize, I hope she's not moving because of me. Then he asked for his journals back and we passed them out the door. That was the end of my bomber neighbors.

[Dan Rather]

Did you ever find out anything more about this? I mean, the notion that someone else just moved, moved in. I know across the hall.

[Mia]

I really hope he got some help and was able to get stable medication or something. I'm glad these programs exist that some people who need help can get social assistance on housing. But I never want to live.

[Monica Padman]

But also how is he deemed not a threat when he had just told you that he was about to blow up?

[Dan Rather]

Not even thinking about it. Had taken.

[Katie]

Yeah.

[Dan Rather]

Many steps.

[Mia]

That's the part I was like, well, he did have the materials. And again, I was like, maybe that's on me that I waited not quite 24 hours, but 20 hours. Maybe the supplies had been removed by the time the police showed up. But I know he was known to the police. Obviously he had been taken in by them three weeks prior.

[Dan Rather]

We're frustrated with this also. Imagine how frustrated the cops are. There's nothing really they can do. They just got to keep responding to these people. But there's a whole protocol. Probably everyone is extremely frustrated.

[Mia]

Right. He hadn't actually committed a crime yet. You're allowed to own those propane cylinders and whatever other materials.

[Dan Rather]

You're in a position where you're trying to assess who is just a little nuts but not actually violent.

[Monica Padman]

They straight up said it.

[Dan Rather]

I was going to blow up the building.

[Monica Padman]

Yeah. Then I don't know what else more anyone could do that's a full threat.

[Katie]

Yeah.

[Mia]

This time he decided, oh, he likes my dog, and he didn't want him to get hurt. But I'm like, what about the little baby that lives upstairs?

[Dax Shepard]

Oh, wow.

[Dan Rather]

Well, Sarah, I'm glad you got out out unscathed. That's a very stressful and long time of being stressed.

[Monica Padman]

Oh, scary.

[Mia]

Yeah. It's kind of my thing, though, of shutting it out and ignoring it for a while.

[Dan Rather]

I hope you move to, like, 12 acres and you're just in the center of it with a huge buffer.

[Mia]

I'm not quite in 12 acres, but I do now have my own house in suburban area.

[Dan Rather]

Well, lovely meeting you. Sorry you went through that.

[Mia]

Thank you, Monica. I. I just finished reading your day one gift guide, and you're such an incredible writer.

[Monica Padman]

Oh, thank you.

[Mia]

And, Dax, I saw the little mouse that you drew.

[Dan Rather]

Did you like it?

[Mia]

I did very much.

[Dan Rather]

If I can create a crow of its quality, then it'll end up on a sherp. That's a hill I've got to climb still.

[Dax Shepard]

The crow hill.

[Dan Rather]

All right, well, be well and great meeting you.

[Mia]

Thank you.

[Dan Rather]

All right, take care.

[Monica Padman]

Bye.

[Dan Rather]

This brought back a memory because, you know, I lived in the same apartment for 10 years.

[Dax Shepard]

Years.

[Dan Rather]

So I saw a lot of people come and go. And I had a dude that lived below me and across the hall. He had just gotten out of prison. He was originally from Hawaii. And this is the gentleman that I smoked crack with.

[Monica Padman]

Okay.

[Dan Rather]

One night well, we got in a fight, then we smoked crack. And for the next six months that he lived there before I believe he went back to prison, I would be in bed, and there'd be a knock at my door at like, three in the morning, and I would look out, and he would be in the stair landing smoking crack and knocking on my door. And I would look through the peephole, and he'd say, I see you peeping. And I'm like, oh, jeez, man, I just got out of here.

[Dax Shepard]

And he'd be up there for 30.

[Dan Rather]

Minutes banging on my door, smoking. That was a rough six months.

[Monica Padman]

And you never answered, right?

[Dan Rather]

No.

[Monica Padman]

Yeah.

[Dan Rather]

There's a weird detail, but he had given me his rice cooker when we were that long evening. And then at one point, he was at the door and he wanted his rice cooker back. And I'm like, I do want to give him his rice cooker back, but I also don't want to interact with him because he's smoking crack in the hallway.

[Monica Padman]

Yeah. What did you do?

[Dan Rather]

I put the rice cooker on his doorstep.

[Monica Padman]

That's what I was gonna say. That would have been smart.

[Dan Rather]

Yeah.

[Monica Padman]

Oh, God. Neighbors are wild.

[Dan Rather]

All right, well, I love you.

[Monica Padman]

Love you.

[Dan Rather]

You just had a neighbor I interact with.

[Monica Padman]

The cops did have an incident. I don't know who listened. So I don't want to, like, say, I'm going, and I wasn't involved, but there was an incident above me, and there were cops. Also at one of my other apartments, there was a sort of similar cops and firemen came because of a threatening their life situation. I think people know I have a neighbor issue currently.

[Dan Rather]

Yeah. Yeah. What about when you walked out of your old apartment and Sean Penn was in the driveway?

[Monica Padman]

That was exciting.

[Dan Rather]

That makes up for all the other stuff.

[Monica Padman]

That's true. I had a neighbor for a second that was dating Zac Efron, and her roommate was Sean Penn's daughter.

[Dan Rather]

Oh, so you saw Zac Efron as well.

[Monica Padman]

It was always like, al him walking. I'm pretty sure his car was blocking my car, and I couldn't go to my improv show.

[Dan Rather]

Oh, but it was worth it.

[Monica Padman]

It was worth it.

[Dan Rather]

Yeah.

[Monica Padman]

So exciting.

[Dan Rather]

That's funny to be living in, like, an entry level apartment, walk outside, and Sean Penn's hanging. Holy.

[Monica Padman]

I was like, I'm in Hollywood. I've made it.

[Katie]

We had that with Dennis Rodman when.

[Dan Rather]

We moved to Costa Mesa. Oh, really?

[Katie]

He was dating one of the girls.

[Dan Rather]

And in your apartment complex.

[Eric]

Yeah.

[Dan Rather]

And you'd see him occasionally.

[Dax Shepard]

Yeah, hard to miss Dennis Rodman, la.

[Monica Padman]

Where dreams come true.

[Dan Rather]

They come true every second. All right.

[Monica Padman]

Love you, Love you.

[Dan Rather]

Do you want to sing a tune or something?

[Eric]

We know a theme song.

[Dan Rather]

Oh, okay, great. We don't have a them song for this new show, so here I go, go, go.

[Dax Shepard]

We're going to ask some random questions and with the help of armchairs, we'll get some suggestions on the Fly Rhyme Dish.

[Dan Rather]

On the Fly Rhyme Dish.

[Eric]

Enjoy.

[Dax Shepard]

Follow Armchair Expert on the Wondry App, Amazon Music, or wherever you get your podcasts. You can listen to every episode of Armchair Expert early and ad free right now by joining Wondry plus in the Wonder App or on Apple Podcasts. Before you go, tell us about yourself by completing a short [e-mail] survey hello.

[Narrator]

Ladies and germs, boys and girls. The Grinch is back again to ruin your Christmas season with Tis the Grinch Holiday Podcast. After last year, he's learned a thing or two about hosting, and he's ready to rant against Christmas cheer and roast his celebrity guests like chestnuts on an open fire. You can listen with the whole family as guest stars like Jon Hamm, Brittany Broski, and Danny DeVito try to persuade the mean old Grinch that there's a lot to love about the insufferable holiday season. But that's not all. Somebody stole all the children of Whoville's letters to Santa, and everybody thinks the Grinch is responsible. It's a real Whoville whodunit. Can Cindy Lou and Max help clear the Grinch's name? Grab your hot cocoa and cozy slippers to find out. Follow Tis the Grinch Holiday Podcast on the Wondery App or wherever you get your podcasts. Unlock weekly Christmas mystery bonus content and listen to every episode ad free by joining Wondery plus in the Wondery App, Spotify or Apple Podcasts.