Armchair Anonymous: Divorce II

Summary

Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard

Armchair Anonymous: Divorce II – September 5, 2025

Host: Dax Shepard
Co-host: Lily Padman
Guests/Callers: Jane Doe, Seth, Emma, Celia

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Episode Overview

In this emotionally charged episode of "Armchair Anonymous," Dax Shepard and Lily Padman dive into the turbulent world of divorce, inviting anonymous callers to share their wildest and most moving divorce stories. The episode provides a raw look at the complexities, betrayals, heartbreaks, and unexpected new beginnings that define relationship endings. Through laughter, commiseration, and empathy, Dax, Lily, and the guests explore how people survive personal upheaval and find new strength and meaning afterward.

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Key Discussion Points and Insights

1. Jane Doe – The Family Affair Divorce

[03:11–09:12]

• Setting the Scene
  Jane (alias) tells her parents’ wild divorce story set in Texas during her senior year of high school. She comes home to find their house almost ransacked—large pieces of furniture and personal items gone, including clothes and jewelry from her own room.

• Unfolding Mystery
  Her father reveals he’s been served divorce papers and can’t reach her mother, who has disappeared. Investigations on Facebook and through family connections reveal her mother has moved in with Jane’s estranged uncle—her father’s brother.

• Years-Long Affair & Fallout
  Jane’s mother had maintained a secret affair with her husband’s brother (who also has a history with law enforcement). Eventually, her mom and the uncle get married.
  "At one point, my mom was my step aunt and my uncle was my stepdad." – Jane Doe [07:40]

• Impact on the Family
  The divorce is marked by betrayal, abandonment, and even the mother taking back jewelry she once gifted her daughter. Jane reflects on having to eventually forgive for her own sake and the sake of her new baby.

• Notable Dax Commentary
  "If you do just walk out on your family, you don’t get anything." – Dax Shepard [07:18]

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2. Seth – Surviving Violence and Manipulation

[09:47–24:53]

• Relationship Breakdown
  Seth, originally from England but living in Canada, recounts his split from his wife (pseudonym "Karen") after over a decade together, infidelities, and attempts to “stay for the kids.”

• Escalating Abuse
  After their separation, Seth’s ex-wife violently lashes out—physically attacking him on multiple occasions, including biting his ear “Mike Tyson-style” on his birthday.
  "She ran towards me, jumped on me...and bit my ear." – Seth [12:49]

• Chaos and Drama
  She throws his belongings in the street, trashes his car, and creates dangerous situations with the children in the car, even attempting to block and engage in road rage. Seth documents her actions for safety.

• New Hope Amid Turmoil
  While on a Coast Guard research trip, Seth meets someone new. Their connection gives him confidence to move forward with a divorce and find happiness outside dysfunction.
  "This has given me enough courage to say that the grass is greener on the other side." – Seth [23:56]

• Children in the Crossfire
  His ex manipulates the children, restricts access, and makes false statements. Seth struggles with whether to involve authorities due to not wanting to traumatize the kids further.

• Current Status
  Seth emerges from the chaos, sailing the west coast of Vancouver Island with his new partner, but acknowledges the situation is not fully resolved.

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3. Emma – A Stroke, Betrayal, and Liberation

[25:51–39:47]

• Tragedy Strikes
  Emma’s 32-year-old husband suffers a massive stroke due to a genetic disorder, leaving him dependent and personality-altered. With three very young children and a new café to run, Emma juggles caretaking with survival.

• Violence and Tough Choices
  The stroke removes her husband’s internal filter, and he becomes violent, eventually injuring one of their children. CPS (Child Protective Services) intervenes, and Emma has to move her husband to a care home.

• Mysterious Money Disappearing
  Emma notices thousands vanishing from their accounts, traced to a GoFundMe meant for his recovery. Investigation reveals her husband is having an affair with a night nurse—one of many affairs both before and after the stroke.

• Police Get Involved
  The affair crosses into a legal/consent gray area due to her husband’s mental state, and the police discover photographic evidence of multiple prior affairs.

• Finding Freedom
  Emma, a woman of faith, receives confirmation from her community to leave her husband:
  "It is better to be husbandless than to be with a bad husband." – Emma [37:43]
  She finds new joy and stability with her children despite ongoing medical challenges due to their shared genetic condition.

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4. Celia – From Marital Doubts to a Serendipitous New Life

[41:01–53:14]

• Early Warning Signs
  Celia marries her high school sweetheart at 23, despite nagging doubts and red flags—including his controlling behavior and emotional distance.

• Suspicion and Gaslighting
  He begins spending time with a female coworker, leading to growing tensions and emotional detachment. Celia finds herself rationalizing his inappropriate choices.

• A Pivotal Friendship
  During her occupational therapy internship, Celia befriends a Marine recovering from a serious injury. Their relationship is platonic with a hint of flirtation, but comes under hospital scrutiny.

• False Accusations and a Life-Altering Choice
  A hug and the simple gesture of bringing razors for the Marine lead to both being reported and, for Celia, termination of her internship.
  "You’ve just spent six years getting your graduate degree." – Dax Shepard [50:01]

• Personal Breakthrough
  The professional and personal fallout is the catalyst Celia needs to leave her marriage. She ultimately finds love—with the Marine.

• Looking Back in Triumph
  Celia is now gainfully employed and happily remarried with children.
  "Fast forward 12 years, I’m married to the Marine...There’s a reason we met in that hospital." – Celia [52:24]

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• Dax’s Wisdom on Parental Forgiveness
  "To miss one day of these girls’ lives would be the biggest heartbreak I could have...He paid the price, it’s much worse to not be able to be a part of your kids’ life." – Dax Shepard [09:12]

• On Property and Morality in Divorce
  "If you do just walk out on your family, you don’t get anything." – Dax Shepard [07:18]

• On Leaving Bad Relationships
  "It is better to be husbandless than to be with a bad husband." – Emma [37:43]
  "And I think the same could be said for wifeless." – Dax Shepard [53:35]

• Comic Relief

  • Seth describing his wife attacking him:
    "She's 5'2", but like a Tasmanian devil when she gets going." [12:23]
  • Jane Doe on her family’s twisted tree:
    "At one point, my mom was my step aunt and my uncle was my stepdad." [07:40]

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Important Segment Timestamps

• Jane Doe’s Wild Family Divorce — [03:11–09:12]
• Seth’s Turbulent Separation and Recovery — [09:47–24:53]
• Emma’s Story of Catastrophe and Independence — [25:51–39:47], with the investigation resolution at [36:03–39:47]
• Celia’s Internship Fiasco and New Love — [41:01–53:14]
• Final Reflections & Takeaways — [53:23–53:49]

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Episode Takeaways

• Divorce can expose the deepest family dysfunctions and personal crises, but also creates opportunities for growth and new beginnings.
• The complexities of caretaking, betrayal, abuse, and personal redemption are shared with humor and candor, giving hope and perspective to listeners who may be in similar situations.
• Dax and Lily reaffirm the importance of self-worth, boundaries, and ultimately, the pursuit of happiness, no matter how unexpected the path.

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If you’re navigating divorce or upheaval, this episode candidly validates the messiness of it all—and the possibility of forging something better on the other side.

Transcript

[Dax Shepard]

Wondry plus subscribers can listen to Armchair Expert early and ad free right now. Join Wondri in the Wondry app or on Apple Podcasts. Or you can listen for free wherever you get your podcasts. Welcome, welcome, welcome to Armchair Anonymous. I'm Dax Shepard, joined by Lily Padman.

[Lily Padman]

Hello.

[Dax Shepard]

Today's topic is a heavy one, but I loved it. It was such a wonderful perspective reset. I left going like, my God, people are going through some stuff.

[Lily Padman]

They really are.

[Dax Shepard]

Wow.

[Lily Padman]

There's a lot of angles, there's some twists and turns.

[Dax Shepard]

Yes. It's a phenomenal episode.

[Producer or Announcer]

Yes.

[Dax Shepard]

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[Lily Padman]

Guys, do not sleep on J.C. penney. They've got stylish clothes for everyone in your life. Yourself, obviously. Your parents, your kids, your friend's new baby. There's something for every age. Everybody and every budget.

[Dax Shepard]

Yeah, the budget part is huge because scoring a great deal is one of the last socially acceptable forms of bragging.

[Celia]

So true.

[Lily Padman]

Why does it feel so good when someone gives you an outfit compliment and then you drop that you paid less than they think. It's just really satisfying.

[Dax Shepard]

Yeah. And then you tell them where you got it. It's from JCPenney. Yes, JCPenney. It's so good. I just got a second pair of Levi's that are just blowing my mind. They had a wash on there I couldn't find anywhere else. And boy, God, I look, I just. I'm approaching Beckham status with these slacks.

[Lily Padman]

Nice. So if you've been sleeping on JCPenney, wake up and check it out. They've got fashion worth bragging about.

[Dax Shepard]

And they've got a great reward system too that makes every shopping trip even more worth it. Shop jcpenney.com. yes, JCPenney.

[Seth]

Hard times come and go. Good times take them slow. My life I had a mo.

[Dax Shepard]

Thing.

[Seth]

You Got to know I'mma keep on shining.

[Dax Shepard]

Hi. You're Jane. I'm doing air quotes.

[Celia]

Hi.

[Jane Doe]

How are y'?

[Dax Shepard]

All?

[Jane Doe]

Good old fashioned Jane Doe.

[Lily Padman]

Oh, love it. Classic.

[Dax Shepard]

What is this fun blanket behind you? Who are those people? I feel like I should recognize them.

[Celia]

Blink 182.

[Jane Doe]

Tom, Mark and Travis.

[Dax Shepard]

If I had seen Travis, I would have been able to get it.

[Jane Doe]

I was covering him the most, I think.

[Dax Shepard]

Sure. Well, you wanted to be closest, I'd imagine.

[Jane Doe]

Yeah.

[Dax Shepard]

Now we have a fake name for you. Are we allowed to say what region of the world you're in?

[Jane Doe]

Yeah. So first of all, this is not my story. It is actually my parents story.

[Dax Shepard]

Okay. Okay, that'll work.

[Jane Doe]

We were in Texas. I'm not going to go any more specific than that. I was 17. I was just starting like my senior year of high school. I'm not going to give my age out either.

[Dax Shepard]

Just I'll tell the listener from looking at you, I would say you're in your mid-60s. Just so they have a visual. Yeah. Okay, great.

[Jane Doe]

So I remember coming home from school as the first one. So I have an older younger sibling. And it looked almost burglarized, but we were missing big furniture items. Not just like a tv, but armoires and dressers and like coffee tables. It was so strange. I investigated parents rooms missing a lot of stuff. Living room, dining room, kitchen, go upstairs to my room and my siblings. My siblings room are relatively untouched. My room had clothes missing and some jewelry.

[Celia]

What?

[Dax Shepard]

Were you afraid that there was a burglar in the home at that moment?

[Jane Doe]

No, because we had an alarm system and I was the first one home. I had to disarm it to get in so I wasn't suspicious of anything. So I get my phone, I call my mom because she doesn't work at the time. And it goes straight to voicemail. So I call my dad. My dad picks up after a couple rings and I say, we got a lot of stuff missing. Do you know what's going on? He said, yeah, I do. I'm heading home right now. Sit down and just wait for me to be there. And at the time he worked like an hour away. So he comes home and tells us, hey, I was served divorce papers from your mother. I don't know where she is. I don't know what's going on. She doesn't answer my brother's phone calls. I think I'm blocked at this point because I'm going straight to voicemail. I don't know what I did.

[Lily Padman]

Did you sense this was coming like, were you surprised to hear this or were you like, yeah, they've been struggling.

[Jane Doe]

I was surprised. Let me backtrack here. My dad's job is kind of important in this matter. My whole life. He is military. He was active duty up until I was like maybe six. So he settled down and went reserve. So he's still technically military. 911 happened. He went active duty. So he was doing tours out and about really home as much as he was. That took a toll. And there was a lot more free will because my dad wasn't home.

[Dax Shepard]

People were lonely.

[Celia]

Yeah.

[Jane Doe]

And so we get like a visit from an estranged uncle of ours. And this uncle has been in and out of prison. There's a reason we haven't met him.

[Dax Shepard]

On your mom's side or your dad's side.

[Jane Doe]

My dad's side. And this is prior to the divorce papers. And so we get strange visits from him and he's like, yeah, I'm your cool, fun uncle, by the way.

[Dax Shepard]

Really quick. That's such a trope in TV shows, isn't it? Cool, fun uncle comes. He's got some prison records.

[Lily Padman]

Yeah, he's a convict.

[Dax Shepard]

And then we get a lot of stor out of it.

[Jane Doe]

This is hi to Facebook as well. So we started doing investigating on Facebook. We started reaching out to people, seeing what's going on. Friends that she reached out to, that friends from our old town. Lots of random connections we're trying to make here.

[Dax Shepard]

Can I also ask, how old is she at this moment?

[Jane Doe]

She's probably 47.

[Celia]

Okay.

[Dax Shepard]

So all fours.

[Jane Doe]

So we find out that she had moved to an area that we have our only one estranged uncle again living.

[Dax Shepard]

Oh, my God. Dad's brother.

[Lily Padman]

Oh, my dad's brother.

[Dax Shepard]

I knew it was gonna be bad when he showed up.

[Celia]

Me too.

[Dax Shepard]

Yeah.

[Jane Doe]

We found out she's living with him. Oh, and there had been a years long affair with my dad's brother. Find out he had like warrants out in the rest for Texas. So we're bringing someone who's not very safe around our kids. And then they get married.

[Lily Padman]

I gotta say, not talking to you at all. That's a no.

[Jane Doe]

There was an olive branch extended later on.

[Dax Shepard]

Before we get to the heartbreak, because this is heartbreaking. But I just want to say, as a rule of thumb, if you have fair and then you leave your spouse, you don't get the furniture. Like when dudes do this, they're like, yeah, take the house I up.

[Jane Doe]

Especially when you just up and leave.

[Lily Padman]

Exactly.

[Jane Doe]

Not just like your spouse. But like, also your children.

[Lily Padman]

Well, let's be clear, not to disparage, but they stole jewelry from their daughter.

[Jane Doe]

Well, technically, it was gifted. From my mother.

[Lily Padman]

Yewelry. She gave you, she took back. So this is the type of people were dealing with. So I'm not surprised they took the furniture.

[Dax Shepard]

Yeah, I just wanted to do a psa, which is if you do just walk out on your family, you don't get anything.

[Lily Padman]

Yeah.

[Dax Shepard]

Yeah.

[Lily Padman]

So they got like a moving truck to get this armoire. I mean, this is crazy.

[Celia]

Yeah.

[Dax Shepard]

You guys went to school and they got going right away.

[Emma]

Yeah.

[Lily Padman]

It was a plan.

[Jane Doe]

Yeah. And I always joke my Jerry Springer story rip.

[Celia]

Oh, yeah.

[Jane Doe]

They're no longer Mary. I will say that at one point, my mom was my step aunt and my uncle was my stepdad.

[Lily Padman]

Wow.

[Celia]

Yes.

[Lily Padman]

That is so weird. But they didn't come around when they were.

[Dax Shepard]

No. And was it your dad's older or younger brother?

[Jane Doe]

Younger. By like a good almost two decades.

[Celia]

Oh, wow.

[Dax Shepard]

Did your dad have any fantasies of going and beating the shit out of him or anything?

[Jane Doe]

Oh, I'm sure. I mean, military background.

[Dax Shepard]

Yeah.

[Lily Padman]

Oh, I'm sorry. This is not nice.

[Jane Doe]

I forgive and forget, honestly. I've have a newborn son, and I want my kid to know both his family's apologies have been made and the legwork is there. It's just in the process.

[Dax Shepard]

Has she ever offered any kind of explanation like, yeah, I really lost my mind, or I was struggling.

[Jane Doe]

It was a lot of pointing fingers, lot of blame. Not really, like, accountability.

[Lily Padman]

Wow.

[Dax Shepard]

Oh, so mom moved the furniture out while you were at school and got together with dad's brother.

[Lily Padman]

I want to blame it on Perry Menopause.

[Dax Shepard]

It doesn't sound like we can.

[Lily Padman]

I don't think it's.

[Dax Shepard]

I wanted to too. That's why I asked her age.

[Celia]

I don't think.

[Dax Shepard]

Then I said all fours, which is really.

[Lily Padman]

Yeah, you really put that.

[Dax Shepard]

It's explicit at that point.

[Emma]

Yeah.

[Lily Padman]

You made it clear you thought it was perimenopause, but no.

[Dax Shepard]

Well, maybe all I could hope for. You hold your baby.

[Jane Doe]

He is nine months.

[Dax Shepard]

Hey, Congratulations.

[Jane Doe]

Thank you.

[Dax Shepard]

And then two. I hope you have the moment. I had. Which led to an enormous amount of forgiveness of my father, which was like, oh, I thought I was the victim my whole life. And soon as I had kids, I was like, oh, no, no, no, no, no, no. To miss one day of these girls lives would be the biggest heartbreak I could have. And I was like, oh, my God, no. He was the victim. He paid the Price, it's much worse to not be able to be a part of your kid's life than vice versa.

[Jane Doe]

Absolutely.

[Celia]

Thanks. Y' all. Have a great one.

[Dax Shepard]

All right, take care. Bye. Hi, I'm in quotes. This is Seth.

[Seth]

Yes, this is fake name Seth.

[Dax Shepard]

And let me just quickly ask, how do we come upon Seth as a fake name? I'm always curious, is it like a name you may have always wanted?

[Seth]

In a way, yeah. It's a name that I heard from where I come from, and a friend named his child Seth, and I was like, oh, that's a cool name. I kind of had it in my back pocket.

[Dax Shepard]

Okay, Now, I don't want to offend you, but I'm going to guess Irish. But again, I'm a little fearful. You could also be Scottish or are.

[Seth]

You either of those close, like in the middle? I'm English.

[Lily Padman]

Where?

[Dax Shepard]

Oh, you're English. Okay.

[Lily Padman]

Classic standard.

[Seth]

I've been Americanized or Canadianized for last 20 years.

[Lily Padman]

So you have a little bit of a mesh.

[Dax Shepard]

Okay, so you have a divorce story.

[Seth]

I do, yeah. It's not one thing that happened on a day. It's a few stories that happened over the course of the last year. So my ex, we'll call her Karen.

[Dax Shepard]

That doesn't feel fair, but okay.

[Seth]

It may seem fair at the end. I can judge later. I separated from her last February. So a year and a half ago, to set the stage a little bit, about five years before we separated, she cheated on me with one guy at first, which I found out about after about a year. And then there was another two guys after that over the course of time. You know, I stayed there for the kids and to try to make it work, but we just argued too much. It didn't really work last year. It was like I'd had enough. It was time to separate my job and my schedule kind of keeps me away. So it was hard to leave her when I felt like I wanted to. I work 28 days away, 28 days at home. So I work for the Coast Guard in Canada.

[Dax Shepard]

Oh, cool. Cool job.

[Seth]

Now, in August last year, I had separated from her for six months. At this point, I was living downstairs in the basement suite that was kind of unfinished, but that's where I was sleeping down there. We'd play happy families when I was home, pretend to be a family, essentially for the kids benefit. But her and I were separated. And August last year, I was away on a trip. Actually took us down off the California coast for like a research trip. We'd been arguing on and on for the whole trip. It was like a week before I came home. I'd had enough. Mid argument one time I said, I just can't do this anymore. I want a divorce. This escalated. I finally got home. I told her, yep, I want a divorce. I want to move out. And she just started losing it. She can't contain her anger anymore, like a red rag is to a bull. So she gets red mist, and she just can't have any rational thought. She goes crazy and just starts lashing out, punching, kicking, physical attacks. So over the course of the first week after being home, she would almost, on a daily basis, after the kids had gone to bed, come down, argue, lash out, fight, try and hit me. I would try to restrain her so that she wasn't hurting me. But she's only 5 foot 2 and she's really strong for her size. She's like a Tasmanian devil when she gets going. So really hard to, like, stop her from hurting me. I don't want to hurt her.

[Dax Shepard]

Yes.

[Seth]

One particular night, I got away from her, closed the door to the basement suite, and she kicked the door in. I just stood there and she ran towards me, jumped on me, legs around my waist, arms around my neck, and bit my ear.

[Lily Padman]

Oh, my God.

[Seth]

Sunk her teeth into my ear.

[Lily Padman]

M. Tyson style.

[Dax Shepard]

Yeah.

[Seth]

Evander Holyfield.

[Lily Padman]

Oh, Evander Holyfield.

[Dax Shepard]

You're the Evander Holyfield.

[Lily Padman]

She's my Tyson.

[Seth]

I felt like that. That image went right through my brain at that point. But I tried to get her face away from mine, and it felt like I was gonna rip my ear off. Cause she wasn't letting go.

[Dax Shepard]

Ew.

[Seth]

I put my finger in her mouth to try to, like, force her teeth apart. And I managed to get her off me and to move her away from me. And I got my bag, which was already packed at this point, threw it in my car and went upstairs. The kids were awake. And I told the kids, my ear is bleeding. I'm sorry, kids. I don't want to argue with you mom anymore. I'm going to go stay at a friend's. I'll call you tomorrow. Everything will be okay. And I left. And that was the last time that I lived with them.

[Dax Shepard]

Now, really quickly, did it ever cross your mind to call the police on her?

[Seth]

It did, but some of them are children. It's not fair for the kids to not have their mom there. She's actually a good mom. She's not like that with her kids. It's really just me. So I didn't want to have her taken away and have a police report or her go into the system or have the kids taken away from us. It would be hard for me to go away to work. I would have to change everything to be able to be home. So I ended up moving into a friend's place. And actually, that happened on my birthday when she bit my ear.

[Dax Shepard]

Oh, happy birthday.

[Seth]

Little side note.

[Dax Shepard]

Yeah.

[Seth]

A few weeks after that, I'd been gradually gathering my stuff from her place, and we'd argued at one point when I had a car full of stuff and I drove away and she lost it again. She put everything out on the side of the road. Spare tires for my car, couch that I was going to have, like, a bunch of my study books from school, boxes of stuff, and just put a free sign on it.

[Celia]

Oh, boy.

[Seth]

I managed to get some stuff back, but she's just trying to find any way to hurt me. But then her brakes went on her truck, so she needed to fix her brakes, didn't want to pay for it. She acts all nice. I order the brake parts. I go to her house. I say, okay, I'll fix your brakes, but you got to, like, stay in the house or go somewhere else. And the kids are at a friend's house playing. So I got down there. I couldn't even undo the wheel nuts. And she was just in my ear, arguing, fighting, trying to stay and help me with it, but she just needed to argue. She ended up throwing the tire at her door on the truck, just putting a big dent in that. I said, okay, I can't do this. I'm out. Get in my car. She jumps onto the hood of my car, dents the wing, sits on the hood and puts a dent in the hood. As she's sat there shouting at me through the window, I'm filming her telling her to get off. She takes a minute but eventually gets off and starts hiking up the street to go to where the kids are at playing. I give it a minute because I have to drive past her to get away. It's one road out. I drive up there. She's in the middle of the road. She's just trying to block me. And it's like, oh, no, what's she gonna do? So I have to swerve one way to make her sidestep, and then I swerve the other way real quick and go around her. And she punches the back of my car, puts another dent in it, Just running up the road, screaming at me. I was filming as this was happening, so this is documented a couple of weeks after. We'd arranged to take the kids to a fair over in a neighboring town. We were gonna meet the kids, friends, friends of hers. I said I would be there cause I wanted to be there with the kids. The kids wanted me to be there. So I drove out to meet her. We met just outside of town in a little parking lot. I got there first. She arrived. She didn't wanna bring her truck into the small car park where the fair is. I didn't really want her in my car. Cause I didn't trust her.

[Dax Shepard]

I wouldn't want her either. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Lily Padman]

Reasonable.

[Seth]

Is she going to grab the wheel while I'm driving? So she just hops in her truck after arguing with me, leaves me and the kids there, and just drives away. Okay, kids, I guess we're going to the fair by ourselves. We start driving down the road to the fair. We're going down a bit of a windy road towards a bridge. She's coming the other way. There's other traffic on the road too. She swerves right when she gets past the car in front of me onto my side of the road with her.

[Lily Padman]

Kids in your car?

[Seth]

Yeah. And I'm off the road, fully on the hard shoulder. The edge of the bridge is coming up, so the hard shoulder stops. So I have to swerve back onto the road real quick to get back. And it's like, what the heck are you doing? Just lost it. Get to the fair, park up. She arrives and just tries to play it off like nothing's happening. Next thing is, I went to pick the kids up for the weekend. I'd moved into a place of my own by this point. Went to pick the kids up. She'd packed a bunch of their stuff, Toys and stuff that they don't really use anymore. And they're either going to be given away or thrown out because some of them don't work. You're just avoiding going to the dump. So I was like, I'm not taking this. She loses it because I said no. Grabs one of the big pictures. It's like a driftwood piece, pretty heavy over the top of her head. And tries to smash it onto my car. I have to grab hold of the picture. She wrestles me to the ground and is like, full. Trying to be a jiu jitsu wrestler. Like punching, kicking, elbowing, biting, and everything on the ground. My kids get out of the car. They're upset, they're crying, they're asking us to stop. And I manage to, like, break out of her grip and Run around the car, drive away. I drive up the street. I pull in. There's a fire station at the top of the hill. Kids are crying. I try to console them and she has followed me up the hill in the truck and tries to pull in front of me to block me from leaving the car park or the fireplace. Car's running and it's in gear. I just have the clutch down. I just drop the clutch and I floor it. And I'm try to get out of there so she can't block me in because I don't know what she's gonna do this time. I spin around and I drive away. Maybe 20, 30 missed calls from her constant text messages. She did call the police saying I've stolen the kids. She wants to talk to the kids to make sure that they're okay. I give kids the phone. They can talk to her. I'm not gonna stop my kids talking to the parents. Yeah, she gets on the phone with my kids on speakerphone and she's trying to explain her side of the story like it was all dad's fault. Dad attacked me.

[Dax Shepard]

You saw prime them for when the cops ask. We are supported by quints. With Quint's, you can get luxury basics at prices that make sense. Get all the good stuff. High quality fabrics, classic fits and lightweight layers for warm weather without dropping a fortune. I just was staring at a box of quints that arrived yesterday. Kristin's been flipping, firing off orders. We all love everything that arrives.

[Lily Padman]

I ordered some sheets, some really, really amazing sheets. They're also so cute. They, they're striped. They have this like cream stripe. It is. I love quints and I feel like it's a hack, honestly. It's like the quality is so good and it's so reasonable. If you need to get anyone a present or anything, I think Quince is the place.

[Dax Shepard]

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[Seth]

And now, bearing in mind that this is only a handful of the things, this has been constant for the last year. She's preventing me from talking to them, not answering the phone. She's manipulating their idea of me and coercing them. Like, oh, dad doesn't want to talk to you. Dad's too busy working. Dad prefers his life now that he's not with you. Whenever I get them on the weekend, I have to, like, you know that none of this is true, right?

[Dax Shepard]

Oh, boy, she's so nuts. Did you have inklings of that during the relationship prior to the divorce?

[Seth]

Yeah, she's attacked me before. She actually punched me a bunch of times. The first time she lost it with the red rage. It's like, you know, when people black out when they're drunk and they have no memory of it?

[Dax Shepard]

Yeah.

[Seth]

Yeah, it's kind of like that. She'd done this a couple times. I had to get stitches in my lip one time. I knew it was there. Every time we argued, I'd have to de escalate everything or walk away. So I knew I needed to get out, but I didn't know how to leave her to plan. This was really hard. And eventually it's just like, enough is enough. And coming back to the August trip that I eventually told her that I wanted to get a divorce. On the trip. There was a new deckhand on our ship. I'd separated from my ex for six months at this point, been on a couple dates. She had two. This new deckhand had come on and she was beautiful, young. You usually don't get chip workers that look like this.

[Dax Shepard]

Right, right, right, right.

[Seth]

And in that first week, we get on just like a house on fire. And it's surprising, like, how many things we have in common. Usually you see those things in Disney fairy tales. One day we're talking about relationships, asking if she was in one. I was trying to hit on her. Probably shouldn't have done it work, but whatever. She said, oh, no, I don't really have a boyfriend, but a couple of friends with benefits. And I don't know what came over me. I was just like, well, do you want another? She was kind of taken aback and said, yes. So we dec. The next night, her shift finished at midnight, so we decided to meet at midnight on the bow of the ship. And it was off the California coast, right below the Oregon border. There was the Mercedes meteor shower at the time.

[Dax Shepard]

Oh, my goodness.

[Seth]

We took like a yoga mat out, a blanket out pillows, and we laid out on the bow for about four hours just watching the meteor shower, talking for us, the rest is history. We've been together since. And it was like, okay. This has given me enough courage to say that the grass is greener on the other side.

[Dax Shepard]

Yes. Yes.

[Seth]

I'd like to pursue this. I think I'm ready.

[Dax Shepard]

You got a glimpse of the fact that you could be happy.

[Seth]

Yeah. Just to not end up with an argument. It's nice to be able to have just a nice, healthy, positive relationship.

[Celia]

Yeah.

[Seth]

It's been a bit of a tumultuous year. It's still going on. There's probably more drama to come.

[Dax Shepard]

This is a nightmare. When the cops got involved, that obviously worked out. You're not in jail.

[Seth]

She called the cops off every time she'd called them. She's done it maybe three times now. I went to the. The police station and I asked, can I open a file up without actually you going around to her house and taking her into custody? I wanted to at least report something, but they said no, we'd have to go and take her away, take her to the station and question her. And I didn't really want to do that.

[Dax Shepard]

Well, I'm glad you've documented a lot of this stuff. I think that's very smart.

[Seth]

Definitely. I've got a lot of printouts.

[Dax Shepard]

Oh, man.

[Lily Padman]

Harrowing.

[Dax Shepard]

It is, dude. What a story. I'm so sorry you've been going through that and I'm delighted you have someone. That's nice.

[Seth]

Oh, yeah, we're actually on a boat right now. We're sailing.

[Dax Shepard]

Oh, you are?

[Lily Padman]

Wow.

[Seth]

This meeting just timed in a little sailing trip with our friends. So we're on the west coast of Vancouver island on their sailboat heading to an anchorage right now. So that's why I'm kind of look like I'm a little drunk on the camera.

[Dax Shepard]

Okay. Wow, wow, wow.

[Lily Padman]

Hope your sailing trip is super fun.

[Dax Shepard]

Okay, take care. Thanks, Seth. Bye.

[Lily Padman]

You gotta be careful about who you procreate with, Do.

[Dax Shepard]

This is the theme of this last week. I think you just don't know what's going on with anybody. Like people are in relationships like that.

[Lily Padman]

Yeah.

[Dax Shepard]

Oh, it's brutal. Here's Emma. What if it's our Emma? We're just learning she's been divorced.

[Lily Padman]

I've known her since she was quite young.

[Dax Shepard]

Well, that's what's even crazier. Has been a high school cherry shirt.

[Lily Padman]

That's a cute shirt.

[Emma]

When I bought this, I was like, if I ever go on Armchair Anonymous, I obviously have to wear this shirt.

[Dax Shepard]

Yeah, it's super cute. Emma, where are you?

[Emma]

I am in North Carolina, in a little suburb outside of Raleigh.

[Dax Shepard]

Oh, I just love North Carolina. So you have a divorce story?

[Emma]

I have a crazy divorce story.

[Dax Shepard]

Oh, good. The crazier the better.

[Emma]

So I have to give you a little bit of backstory before we get to the juicy bits. The sad parts are first, but don't stay too sad. And in order to understand why my 32 year old husband was in a nursing home, I have to tell you these parts. Okay, okay.

[Dax Shepard]

Okay.

[Emma]

So April 28th of 2021. I'm a Che. I own a catering company and I opened a little cafe. And six days later, my 32 year old husband had a massive stroke.

[Celia]

Oh.

[Emma]

He had a genetic condition that we didn't know about called Vascular Ehlers Danlos. And it causes your organs and arteries to rupture spontaneously. So in the middle of the night, his carotid artery just blew up.

[Dax Shepard]

Oh my God.

[Emma]

So thankfully he woke up when that happened and he fell out of bed and made noise. And so that alerted me. I was able to call 911. We got him to a stroke center in time and they were able to save his life, but it left him with massive deficits. Thankfully, it was on the right side of his brain and he was right handed. And so if you're right handed and you bleed into the right side of your brain, most of the stuff that's held there is the function on the left side of your body. So he didn't lose speech or himself or anything big like that, but he was paralyzed on the left side of his body and he lost his filter. Whereas you and I would know not to say things suddenly. He didn't. They were able to stop the bleeding, but they were not able to restore blood flow. So he was basically dead on the right side of his brain. And we went through months and months of rehab and therapy in the hospitals. And in the end of July, they were like, we think we can send him home. And I was like, like, I don't know. We have three little kids. Little, little. My youngest was one at the time.

[Dax Shepard]

I gotta just say Emma already. Wow, did you go through it? I mean, oh my God, what a nightmare.

[Emma]

It was one full year of every morning waking up being like, what catastrophic shoe is gonna drop today? So they sent him home and his best friend Tim came to live with us and be his caretaker so that I could keep working, keep taking care of the kids, keep taking care of him. Everyone was just, just treading water, just trying to survive. Obviously, when you have brain injury, the stimulation of a regular household is a lot, but a household with three little kids and we were poor, poor. I had just opened a restaurant, we had a little house with little kids and it caused him to become really violent. And unfortunately he hurt one of our kids. Where I would have been like, oh, my 4 year old said no to me. You need to go sit in time out, out. He didn't have that filter anymore. And so the four year old said no to him and he just lost it. And he didn't have function on left side, so his right side was way overcompensating. That night. CPS had to get involved because a child had been injured enough that I had to take him to the hospital. The doctors were able to say, okay, we're going to take your husband out of the home and re hospitalize him. He had 17 days of insurance left, so they were like, well, keep him for at least 17 days until we figure out what to do. And then CPS came in and they were like, whatever it is, he's not coming home. And so I'm stuck in this position of how do I keep my Vows to this man that I love but don't know anymore. And how do I take care of my primary responsibility, which is the health and safety of my children? And so the very difficult decision was made to move him into a nursing home, which I don't know if you've ever had to do that, but it's very expensive.

[Dax Shepard]

Oh, God, yes.

[Lily Padman]

Especially being so young, so for so long a lot of places wouldn't take.

[Emma]

Him because of his age.

[Dax Shepard]

Really quick in the wake of this, when you talk to him, is he dealing with like massive guilt after that episode? He calms down. Does he realize what he's done?

[Emma]

He was super depressed. When I explained to him, like, hey, you broke our child's ribs. He was like, well, he needed a spanking, which we've never done. Like, I don't spank my kids. And so I was like, I'm not sure where that came from.

[Dax Shepard]

Yes, that's very scary. That's not the person you knew.

[Lily Padman]

You know, it's almost, almost better. If you felt so guilty, that would be worse.

[Emma]

Yeah. Then we would all just be sad. It helped make the decision for me easier, of like, you're not going to be okay. And so his parents lived in a really rural part of Pennsylvania, and things are just cheaper there. And so we worked together and we found a care home that would take him for just his Social Security benefits. It was 10 minutes from his parents house and they were both retired. So it was going to be great.

[Jane Doe]

Great.

[Emma]

And I was trying to at least once a month drive up with my kids. And the first month I go and I'm like, wow, this is really weird. He's very angry at me. He won't talk to me. He won't look at me. He just glares at me. My God, he's depressed. I go back the next month and this time I'm like, wow, there's a lot of money missing from our bank account. Somebody had started to go fund me when he first got sick. And I had saved like $19,000 that I was using for his continued therapies. And I was like, there's like $6,000 missing. Where's this money going? I can't find it. And then we go and it's another terrible visit. And I'm like, something's wrong. And by the time we get to Christmas, I remember saying to my mom right before I left, I feel like I'm in purgatory. I'm gonna keep going to visit this man because I've made vows to him and I love him, but I don't know him, and he hates me. Something's going on here. I just know it. She was like, well, let's pray that God shows you what it is, because we're Christians. And so I was like, all right, Lord, show me what it is. Release me from whatever trial hell I'm in. We go, he is refusing to look at me, and there's $6,000 more dollars missing. $12,000 at this point. And I just off the cuff, said to him, do you know why $12,000 would be missing from our bank accounts? I need your phone. I need to remove you from our bank accounts. I think maybe you're spending money on your games and you don't realize it. Oh. And he was like. Gave me his phone, and I was like, hey, just to make sure, like, we're good, right? And he goes, we're fine. I leave, and I get a text from him that says, there's one nurse here that I just get along with, and we're friends, and sometimes she helps take care of me at night. Anyway, she's been removed from my care because everyone's starting rumors. It's so middle school.

[Dax Shepard]

So he basically admits he's having an affair with one of the nurses?

[Celia]

Yeah. Oh, boy.

[Emma]

So I was like, they don't just do that unless there's a reason. So I call the facility. I'm like, hey, what's going on? They go, we can't prove anything, but if you could get into his phone. We think he's communicating with her on Facebook. So I text him back. I'm like, send me your Facebook login. And I truly believe God made him exceptionally stupid in that moment, because he did. And I found from the week he moved into the nursing home until present, months of messages with this woman and him sending her money.

[Lily Padman]

Oh, good God, this whole thing.

[Celia]

Oh, what a mess.

[Jane Doe]

It gets worse.

[Lily Padman]

Oh, no. I thought you said it was gonna get better.

[Dax Shepard]

We are supported by BetterHelp. You know when you're struggling and you go online and start searching with symptoms and trying to figure out what's going on? It can be pretty darn daunting.

[Lily Padman]

So overwhelming. Way too much information.

[Dax Shepard]

Too much information. These days, it feels like there's advice for everything. Cold plunges, gratitude journals, screen detoxes. I'm two of those three. But how do you know what actually works for you? Using trusted resources and talking to live therapists can get you personalized recommendations and help you break through the noise. Well, therapy on BetterHelp is a great place to start with an App store rating of 4.9 out of 5 based on over 1.7 million client reviews.

[Lily Padman]

Therapy's so important to get ahead of things. People think you go once something bad has already happened, but ounce of prevention? Exactly. It's huge.

[Dax Shepard]

Yeah. As the largest online therapy provider provider in the world, BetterHelp can provide access to mental health professionals with a diverse variety of expertise. Talk it out with BetterHelp armchairs get 10% off their first month at betterhelp.com Dax that's BetterHelp H-E-L-P.com Dax we are supported by Hills Pet Nutrition. Something we celebrate here on Armchair Expert is that we all have juggles, struggles, faults and flaws because we're human.

[Celia]

Human.

[Dax Shepard]

Those of us with pets know this all too well. We are their whole world and that can be a lot of pressure. Things are just going to go wrong sometimes, and we can only plan for so much pet. Parent guilt is unavoidable.

[Lily Padman]

Yeah, like when you left one of your dogs when you went traveling, you probably had guilt.

[Dax Shepard]

I did. Whiskey wasn't fit to make the trip, but I was relieved that he's having such a great time with Peggy at home. But yeah, because you're only human, there's Hills. Science does more Find the right [e-mail].

[Producer or Announcer]

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[Emma]

So because she's a nurse and because he's mentally incapacitated, they had to get the police involved because is he capable of consent? They take his phone from him and they start going through it and the officer calls me a couple days later and he's like, I'm going To run some names by you, and I just want you to tell me if they're familiar to you. Do you know a name? Ashley? Like, yeah, I know an Ashley that was a single mom. He used to help out all the time. Okay, well, we have pictures of them naked together. Seven women from before the stroke. So this was a pattern he had started recently.

[Lily Padman]

What is happening? Oh my God.

[Emma]

First opportunity post stroke. He was like, imma get me some of that. And I try not to be petty, but the night nurse didn't have all her teeth. And like, I'm not a stone cold 10.

[Dax Shepard]

Well, look, that's where times go for desperate measures.

[Lily Padman]

Clearly had nothing to do with how anyone looked or behaved or was that was an addiction for sure.

[Emma]

So being Christian was like, I don't know if I should leave him. Like, I don't know what to do.

[Dax Shepard]

Hold on though. God kind of just gave you absolute guilt free. Ow.

[Emma]

Yes. So my pastors were like, you're leaving him? Obviously. Yeah, I didn't know how to do it because it's a bad look to leave the crippled guy. His injury had been semi viral. And so how do you go about saying thank you so much for all of your support?

[Dax Shepard]

Also, I'm leaving him without going cuz he fucked everyone.

[Emma]

Yes.

[Lily Padman]

You also don't really want to do that.

[Celia]

Right.

[Emma]

Laundry. So I made like a very politically correct statement of there's sin in this family and it's got to go. And the sin is him.

[Dax Shepard]

Sin is him. I want that shirt.

[Emma]

So I left him and I stopped taking any of the phone calls from the nursing home. Was like, he's your problem now. His parents took over his care completely. I say that with my full chest. It is better to be husbandless than to be with a bad husband. I've been single now for three and a half years, and it has been the happiest, lightest, most joyful three and a half years of my life.

[Lily Padman]

Oh, I love that.

[Emma]

I'm so happy to hear that my kids are thriving. Everyone's doing great. Unfortunately, they have the same genetic condition that he does. So tomorrow we go to Duke, because the only cardiologist in the country that treats this condition is at Duke. And so we go yearly for a visit. There's no treatment or cure, but they have them on a beta blocker to see if, over time, your blood hitting your vessels more softly will help with some longevity of your vessels. But right now, no treatment or cure. There's 30,000 people in the world with this condition, and eight of them are children, and three of those are mine.

[Dax Shepard]

Oh, my Lord.

[Emma]

We didn't know until it happened to him. And then the rest of his family was tested, and a bunch of them are positive. So I think a lot of it gets chalked up to, like, heart disease, because you would die of a heart attack or your aorta rupturing, and you wouldn't necessarily think to test for a genetic condition that was underlying. I'm thankful for the doctors at Duke. They're so wonderful and smart, and they make me feel much more comfortable about it. So, you know, I'm just out here trying to make their lives the happiest they can be and take care of them the best I know how by myself. And it's been much easier doing it by myself.

[Dax Shepard]

You're such a good woman. I know.

[Lily Padman]

Such a nice person. How's your business?

[Emma]

I did end up closing the cafe after a year because something had to give. But I still own the catering company, so. I do a lot of craft services, actually. So I just worked with David Letterman a couple weeks ago. Cool. I was like, oh, friend of the club.

[Lily Padman]

What is it called?

[Emma]

Em. Apostrophe Stems Catering.

[Dax Shepard]

Yes. If you're in North Carolina, let's get it going. Yes.

[Emma]

I make delicious Mac and cheese.

[Lily Padman]

Ooh, that sounds tasty.

[Dax Shepard]

Although, to be fair, it's hard to make bad things. No, there's excellent. But, I mean, you're starting with a.

[Emma]

Good pasta and cheese was hard to mess up.

[Dax Shepard]

Well, Emma, so nice. So nice to meet you. I cannot believe what you've gone through and still have a smile on your face.

[Celia]

I know.

[Lily Padman]

Very admirable.

[Emma]

Thank you. My kids loved race to 270. They would be like, is it time to listen to Dax and the guy who giggles?

[Dax Shepard]

Well, tell your kids good news. At the end of August, the Guy who Giggles and I are doing another show.

[Emma]

That'll be true.

[Seth]

Yeah.

[Dax Shepard]

It is very much the same vibe.

[Emma]

Thank you guys so much. This was really fun.

[Dax Shepard]

Good luck with everything. Bye. Bye.

[Lily Padman]

Hello?

[Dax Shepard]

Hello. Can you hear us?

[Emma]

Can you hear me?

[Dax Shepard]

Perfectly, Celia, where are you?

[Celia]

I live in Yucca Valley, which is right by Joshua Tree National Park.

[Dax Shepard]

Oh, I know Yucca Valley. There's a military installation there. Yeah.

[Celia]

Yes.

[Dax Shepard]

Are you a member of that military?

[Celia]

My dad was a marine, and that's how we ended up here.

[Dax Shepard]

And you guys get about 2,000 mile an hour winds just out of nowhere.

[Celia]

Oh, yeah, it's awful.

[Dax Shepard]

Would never have said that. But every time I'm up there, I'm like, man, you got to Love Wind. Was the wind the source of this divorce?

[Celia]

No.

[Dax Shepard]

Okay.

[Celia]

I've submitted this story a couple different times. I was like, I finally found a prompt that sticks because I was like, this could be a meet cute. It could be an internship. It could be a divorce. There's so many elements.

[Dax Shepard]

Let's hear it.

[Celia]

Okay, so the divorce took place in 2013. But backstory. I married my high school boyfriend in 2011. We were both 23. There had been some problems. I was in grad school, and I was really trying to finish my degree. I'm working on a thesis project with other people, and I wasn't home a lot. I was busy. He had started hanging out with someone from his work who was a single woman. That's kind of not super appropriate, but. But I'm trying to give him the benefit of the doubt. He was from not the greatest childhood. A lot of trauma, a lot of drug use. His mom passed away when he was 16, and his dad was in and out of jail. So I don't think a good relationship was ever really modeled for him.

[Dax Shepard]

Do you have the compulsion at all to rescue people? I mean, you went into the medical.

[Celia]

Field a thousand percent. We were dating for, like, six years. By the time we got married. Married. There was this little voice in my deepest heart of hearts that was like, this isn't for you. I really didn't listen to myself. My inner voice. I kind of pushed all that aside. Dax, when your mom was saying how she wouldn't leave a relationship, even if it was abusive, because she was so ashamed.

[Dax Shepard]

Yes.

[Celia]

We got married. My friends, my family, we did this whole wedding in the back of my mind. I'm sorry. Embarrassed. I put them all through this. They all supported me.

[Dax Shepard]

It's funny, I think we all think that way, but they all supported you. Being happy is what they supported.

[Celia]

And then it, like, turns out I wasn't.

[Dax Shepard]

Yeah, right.

[Celia]

Yeah.

[Lily Padman]

So they'd support you any time you're trying to be happy.

[Celia]

Right. So during this time, he had really developed strong. Like, I'm a libertarian. And because his parents had a lot of substance use issues, he went completely the other way. So, like, I'm a straight up, and I don't do any substances, and you shouldn't either. If you love me, you won't do that in front of me. Oh, boy. And you should respect me. I'm 21 years old. I'm in college. Lots of things were changing, and I was getting ready to finish school, and I had to do six months of unpaid internships and I was like, I know we're not going to be able to afford to live where we are. We're going to have to move back home. And so he decided he was going to go back to our hometown and find us a place to live for when I finish with my school and we move back. The day he was supposed to leave, he was like, I can't find anyone to go with me. I asked all my friends and everybody's busy, but she said she was available, the single woman. And I'm like, what married man goes on an eight hour road trip with a single woman? And all my friends are like, what the fuck? And of course it was like gaslighting. Like, well, do you want me to fall asleep and crash the car and die? And I need something, someone to go with me. And so it made it me feel like, well, if I say no, then I'm saying, well, okay, yeah, I want you to risk your life. I was like, it's an eight hour drive. Like I don't think it's that intense. Okay. So he shows up at my parents house. He hasn't told them what is happening and he has this girl with him and they're like, who is she?

[Lily Padman]

Right?

[Celia]

And they're calling me like who's this girl? And I'm like, he said he needed someone to drive with and they were so disturbed by the whole thing and he, he just couldn't understand why we were all so upset. This was really starting to be the downfall. And I figured, okay, he's not going to speak with her anymore because we're moving back home eight hours away. We rented this small house. I was going to start my internship. I'm willing to just be like, let's start fresh. I started my internship at a hospital. My very first day I met a Marine who had been injured in a workup for deployment. He was carrying of tank track with another marine who, the other marine dropped their end unexpectedly and he got this extreme whiplash injury. So his spinal cord was bruised so he was paralyzed from the neck down. But as the swelling slowly went down, he slowly started getting more feeling and movement back. So I meet him my very first day. You know, I felt so bad. His parents couldn't come out and be with him. He was all alone in the hospital. A couple weeks go by and, and I'm not really his therapist, but I'm just in the same vicinity and they would have me do some little activities with him and I was like, oh, this is a really cool guy. I feel so bad for him. He's here all alone. A couple weeks into it, I found out my husband was still texting that girl. I'm not usually a jealous or snoopy type, but something told me, like, to check his phone, and he had been texting her all this stuff about how he couldn't find a job and he was worried and all the things, like, he should have been sharing with me. He wasn't. And so I was like, if you can have friends, and so can I, which is not mature. I was chatting with this Marine at work, and I added him on Facebook, but wasn't trying to do anything shady. He was like, oh, God, I have to shave every day, and these hospital razors are killing my face. And I was like, we have a ton of razors at home. I'll bring you some. So the next day was my day off, but I stopped by the hospital. Hospital and was like, hey, I brought you some razors. He was like, oh, my gosh, thank you so much. And we chatted for a little bit, and he stood up out of his wheelchair to give me a hug. If I'm being 100% honest, it was a little flirty, but nothing crazy, okay? Like, nothing inappropriate happened. But I was just like, huh. I wonder what it would be like to be with a normal guy. So went into work the next day. I came in, and my instructor was like, we need to talk. Did you come here on your day off? And I was like, yeah, is that bad? I brought him something. He said he was having a really hard time with the razors. I had extra. I was in the area. I brought him to him. He was like, someone saw you being inappropriate with him, and I was like. He gave me a hug, and he was like, you know, I'm just so surprised because you're married. And I remember thinking, like, well, that's none of your business, really, but okay. He was like, well, you need to go. Go see your patients, and I have to call your school and tell them what happened, and we'll decide what to do with you at the end of the day. And you're not allowed to speak to that patient ever again. And I was like, oh, my God. And so I immediately went to the bathroom and messaged him on Facebook. And I was like, I am so sorry. I don't know what happened, but I'm in big trouble. They said that I was inappropriate. Like, I didn't mean to drag you into this. I'm so so. And then he goes, no, I'm sorry. He's like, I'm in trouble, too. And I said, from who?

[Dax Shepard]

Everyone's in trouble.

[Celia]

Somebody called my commanding officer and said, your marine is here doing inappropriate things with the student.

[Dax Shepard]

Okay. I got a hunch what's happening. There's a nurse that likes him.

[Celia]

We're not sure 100%, but he had had a run in with a nurse who was refusing to give him pain medications and accusing him of being a drug seeker, even though he wasn't taking them ahead of schedule. He wasn't asking for them the time. And he was like, you have no right to not carry out a doctor's order. He ordered those for me. They're due at this time. And I'm telling you, my pain is an 8 out of 10. She raised this whole big thing, and so he basically told her, like, get the fuck out of my room. Like, I never want you to be my nurse ever again.

[Dax Shepard]

Yeah, there we go.

[Celia]

So we think it was her because she had a vendetta against him. So I was like, oh, my God, I'm so sorry. He's like, here's my number. Like, if you need anything, call me. And so I go and work the rest of the day. I see all my patients, and then at the very end of the day, they sit me down and they're like, we were gonna just put you on probation and see how you did the next few weeks. But because someone called his commanding officer, it's a HIPAA violation. We unfortunately have to terminate your internship. Oh, my God.

[Lily Padman]

On the pit, I feel like, hold on, I'm gonna.

[Dax Shepard]

I'm gonna try to be as generous as possible. Possible. What we don't know is did they have four in a row affairs between patients and doctors or nurses that resulted in all kinds of in lawsuits? Who knows what they are coming off of, right?

[Celia]

And I was like, maybe they just didn't want to deal with the liability of everything. I kept it together, but the minute I left the building, I started.

[Dax Shepard]

So, yeah, you've just spent six years getting your graduate degree.

[Celia]

What am I going to do? You know? And then it was a cat catalyst in my whole life, because I was just like, why did I allow myself to talk to this guy? Why did I open myself up? I was like, it's because I'm not happy. I called him immediately and was like, they just terminated my internship. And he was like, oh, my God, I'm so sorry. And I was like, what happened to you? Are you in trouble? And he was like, nah. Basically, my CEO was like, well, what'd you do her. He was like, no, she just gave me something. And they're like, okay, well, that's fine.

[Dax Shepard]

Right? Right.

[Celia]

I was like, I feel like I really got nailed to the cross. You're a married woman.

[Lily Padman]

I can't believe you're so misogynistic.

[Celia]

Looking back, I'm like, I feel like that really was. So I left, I went home, I told my husband I just got terminated from my internship, and basically it just blew up. I was like, I don't think I can do this anymore. You know, this has really made me realize what's important in my life. And he was kind of like, refusing to accept it. The next day, I had to go back to return a book I had borrowed from instructor. I don't know what came over me, but I texted the Marine and I was like, I'm coming back to return a book. Could you meet me somewhere? And then he was like, tell me where. So I parked in the very bottom of the parking garage in a corner.

[Dax Shepard]

By a cement wall, like a CIA operation.

[Celia]

And he wheeled himself in a wheelchair all the way down there because he still wasn't walking yet. Hopped in my car, and I was like, I don't know what to say. I'm in a bad relationship. And he kissed me.

[Jane Doe]

Me.

[Lily Padman]

Oh, wow.

[Dax Shepard]

It's so funny that this wouldn't have been on this trajectory, but they accused them of inappropriate stuff. And then it fast tracked.

[Celia]

Yeah, it did. Yeah. It was kind of like, well, you guys think we're doing an appropriate thing, and I'm not working here. I'm not a student here.

[Dax Shepard]

I'm doing the time. I might as well do the crime.

[Celia]

I went home that day. I told my husband, like, it's over. And of course he freaked out. And this whole big thing. And I was just like, nope. And throughout this whole thing thing, the Marine was like, I don't want to tell you to leave your husband. I just want you to do what you think is best for you. And that really stuck with me. I finally listened to that voice I had been ignoring for so long. Fast forward 12 years, I'm married to the Marine.

[Lily Padman]

Yeah, this is the me cute part.

[Celia]

We have two beautiful babies. We've had a rough journey ourselves too, but we just kept coming back to each other. And I was like, there's a reason we met in that hospital.

[Lily Padman]

Wow.

[Dax Shepard]

And you're gainfully employed, I imagine, in your chosen profession.

[Celia]

Yes. I wasn't a licensed therapist, so nothing got reported. And I still went on and became an occupational therapist. It was the craziest thing that's ever happened to me. I was like, am I living in a movie? Like, is this real life? I couldn't believe it was all happening that way.

[Dax Shepard]

A wounded marine and an occupational therapist. It does sound very moving.

[Lily Padman]

Definitely is.

[Dax Shepard]

Oh, wow.

[Lily Padman]

Well, thanks for sharing, Celia.

[Dax Shepard]

This is so fun. What a great story. We needed that one, too.

[Lily Padman]

Had a happy ending.

[Dax Shepard]

Yeah, very happy ending.

[Celia]

Thank you, guys. Thanks for listening.

[Dax Shepard]

All right, take care.

[Lily Padman]

Wow. Divorces.

[Dax Shepard]

You know, they're not fun.

[Lily Padman]

It's not a fun thing to have to go through, but sometimes it has happy endings. And Emma said that it's better to be husband husband list with have a bad husband. And that's a good take.

[Dax Shepard]

Yeah, that is a good takeaway. And I think the same could be said for wifeless.

[Lily Padman]

That's not what Emma said, but that's what I'm saying. You haven't experienced it, so you just don't know.

[Dax Shepard]

You're right. I've not had a bad wife.

[Celia]

You have not.

[Dax Shepard]

Maybe the next one will be bad.

[Seth]

All right.

[Dax Shepard]

Love you.

[Emma]

Do you want to sing a tune or something? One of a theme song.

[Dax Shepard]

Oh, okay, great. We don't have a song for this new show, so here I go. Go, go. We're going to ask some random questions, and with the help of armchairs, we'll get some suggestions on the fly rhyme dish on the fire rhyme dish. Enjoy. Follow Armchair Expert on the Wondry app, Amazon Music, or wherever you get your podcast. You can listen to every episode of Armchair Expert early and ad free right now by joining Wondry plus in the Wondry app or on Apple podcasts. Before you go, tell us about yourself by completing a short [e-mail] survey.