Armchair Anonymous: Haven’t Confessed to Parents

Summary

Armchair Anonymous: Haven’t Confessed to Parents

Host: Dax Shepard
Guest: Armchair Umbrella
Release Date: April 11, 2025

In this compelling episode of Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard, titled "Armchair Anonymous: Haven’t Confessed to Parents," Dax Shepard delves into the raw and unfiltered confessions of individuals who have kept significant secrets from their parents. Through heartfelt storytelling and candid conversations, the episode explores the complexities of familial relationships, the burden of secrets, and the eventual liberation that comes with confession.

---

Bri’s Secret Escape and Misunderstood Break-In

Timestamp: [04:36] - [10:33]

Bri shares a nostalgic yet tumultuous story from her high school days in Bakersfield, where her mischievous streak led her to repeatedly sneak out to attend late-night parties. Her parents, ever vigilant, had reinforced house security by placing her on the second floor, installing a balcony with a precarious rope ladder, a guard dog, and an alarm system.

“My parents had designed it. They put me on the second floor. And always the joke with my parents was that you couldn't sneak out of my house.”
— Bri [04:41]

One particular night, Bri meticulously plans her escape by breaking into the laundry room and slipping out undetected. However, her triumphant return is cut short when she realizes she left the window screen outside, making it impossible to climb back in without detection. Panicked, she convinces herself that a break-in must have occurred, only to later discover that her father had accidentally propped the screen against the hose while watering plants.

“So it was in the laundry room. I thought I got away with it, but it turned out... it was just my dad being clumsy.”
— Bri [06:38]

Despite the misunderstanding, Bri never confessed to her parents, allowing the false narrative to persist. This lingering secret contributed to ongoing tensions and grounding during her rebellious phase.

---

Ashley’s Dramatic Heart Attack Stunt

Timestamp: [17:30] - [35:15]

Ashley recounts a daring escapade from her freshman year of high school, where the immense pressure to maintain high grades led her to fabricate a heart attack to avoid taking an important English test. Struggling with the workload and fearing her grades would plummet, Ashley devises an elaborate plan to skip the test without facing immediate consequences.

“I realized you can't give a 180 because it feels good. Giving birth was not even as bad.”
— Ashley [21:56]

During a pivotal basketball game, after being elbowed and feeling the strain, Ashley concocts a story about having a heart attack. She dramatically pretends to collapse and calls 911, leading to a rushed hospital visit facilitated by her school, which fortunately covers the costs due to the incident occurring on school property. The ruse initially pays off, granting her the day off and an improved grade without directly exposing her deceit.

However, the secret weighs heavily on her conscience. Years later, Ashley confesses the truth to a friend during a candid conversation, revealing the lengths she went to evade academic pressure. Her confession resurfaces during a high school talent show, where she humorously retells the story, inadvertently winning the competition without her former teacher, Mrs. Puff, realizing the truth.

“It was fight or flight. 100%. The heart attack was my way of coping with the stress.”
— Ashley [34:18]

---

Travis’s Halloween Toilet Flood Mishap

Timestamp: [36:00] - [44:33]

Travis opens up about a notorious incident from his junior high years in Canada, where his rebellious nature led him to cause a significant flood in his school’s restroom. Grounded multiple times and facing severe restrictions on his activities, Travis sought out ways to circumvent his punishment. Assisted by his father’s role in procuring fireworks from the U.S., Travis stumbles upon the idea of using a bottle rocket to sabotage the school’s plumbing.

“I was like, what do I do? So I go out and I'm like, what happened? What are you guys doing?”
— Dax Shepard [20:17]

At 13, armed with fireworks, Travis attempts to blow up the toilet to create a diversion. The explosive reaction causes massive water damage, leading to a frantic attempt to contain the flood before his parents return. When they arrive, Travis ingeniously shifts the blame onto his brother’s friend, resulting in unwarranted punishment and the loss of a friendship for the innocent classmate.

“I convinced my brother it was his friend. The sad part is it cost him that friendship.”
— Travis [43:43]

Even after years, Travis remains silent about his role in the flooding, leaving the truth buried beneath layers of deceit and familial trust.

---

Reflections and Emotional Revelations

Throughout the episode, Dax Shepard facilitates a space of vulnerability and honesty, encouraging guests to confront their past actions and the impact of keeping secrets. The confessions reveal deeper themes of adolescent rebellion, the fear of parental disappointment, and the long-term effects of unspoken truths on personal relationships.

“I really appreciate the shows you guys do. When you're working on a project, you're always kind of focused on finishing and what the reward is. And the real reward is the journey.”
— Travis [44:30]

As the episode concludes, guests express a sense of relief and liberation after sharing their stories, highlighting the therapeutic potential of confession and the importance of honesty within families.

---

Notable Quotes

• Bri: “I was just trying to get my body back inside. We’re not thinking about anything else. Can't get caught.”
  [06:03]

• Ashley: “I rolled up my sleeves and I got it done. Literal dirty work. Gotta get the duty done.”
  [21:24]

• Travis: “I was in the backyard lighting off our fireworks, having fun… I pulled it off, but it cost my brother his friendship.”
  [43:43]

---

This episode of Armchair Expert serves as a poignant exploration of the hidden struggles individuals face within their families. By shedding light on these untold stories, Dax Shepard underscores the universal desire for acceptance and the courage it takes to unburden oneself of long-held secrets.

---

Follow Armchair Expert on the Wondery App or wherever you get your podcasts.

Transcript

[Dax Shepard]

Wondry plus subscribers can listen to Armchair Expert early and ad free right now. Join Wondry plus in the Wondry app or on Apple Podcasts or you can listen for free wherever you get your podcasts. Welcome, welcome welcome to Armchair Anonymous. I'm Dan Shepard. I'm joined by Lily Padman.

[Monica Padman]

Hi there.

[Dax Shepard]

Haven't confessed to parents.

[Monica Padman]

Oof.

[Dax Shepard]

Some parents will be hearing this story, I guess, for the very first time. It's an interesting way to get something out there. I like that we're providing a safe Me too. Ways to admit to your foibles.

[Monica Padman]

People had a lot on their chest and they were able to relieve it.

[Dax Shepard]

Yeah, I hope that everyone felt lighter after this. Some are probably scared.

[Monica Padman]

Yeah, of course.

[Dax Shepard]

There's a couple winners in here.

[Monica Padman]

There one, there's a. Yeah, we get a real rascal. Yeah, we do.

[Dax Shepard]

Yeah, we deal with a real rascal on this one. This was super fun and I can't see any reason why we wouldn't.

[Monica Padman]

Unless you love your parents so much that you'll feel a lot of guilt.

[Dax Shepard]

Maybe if you have parents you shouldn't listen. So everyone without parents, go for it.

[Monica Padman]

Yeah, feel free.

[Dax Shepard]

All right, enjoy. This message is brought to you by Apple Card. Apple Card is a no fee credit card that gives you daily cash back every day. That's 3% back at Apple and 2% back on every purchase made with Apple Card using Apple Pay. Apply for Apple Card in the Wallet app on your iPhone today subject to credit approval. Variable APRs for Apple Card range from 18.24% to 28.49% based on creditworthiness when rates as of January 1, 2025 Apple Card issued by Goldman Sachs Bank USA Salt Lake City Branch terms and [e-mail] we are supported by Mint Mobile. Do you say data or data? Well, at my house we say data, but I'm trying to say data. I know it's correct. That's normal, right?

[Monica Padman]

I say data.

[Dax Shepard]

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[Monica Padman]

Hi.

[Dax Shepard]

Why do you have such a stylish microphone?

[Bri]

Work stuff. Podcasting. It's a work podcast. Fun stuff about history and animation.

[Dax Shepard]

Oh, we love the history of animation. Or history. And then also we do animation.

[Bri]

History of animation. We focus on Walt Disney's life and history of Walt.

[Dax Shepard]

Oh, what did I just hear? Just heard an interesting factoid about Walt as you do. Where was he born?

[Bri]

He was born in Chicago, Illinois, in 1901.

[Dax Shepard]

Yes. That wasn't the thing that I heard.

[Monica Padman]

Really put her to the test there.

[Dax Shepard]

But she fucking nailed it. Do you see that? Probably even knows his birthday. When was his birthday?

[Bri]

December 5, 1901.

[Dax Shepard]

That's right.

[Monica Padman]

It's right.

[Dax Shepard]

Oh, wow. This is very timely. I'm taking my daughter to Disneyland on Friday.

[Bri]

Oh, that'll be so much fun.

[Dax Shepard]

Do you live in California?

[Bri]

Yeah, I live in la, actually, in Franklin Village.

[Dax Shepard]

Oh, my God.

[Monica Padman]

You live just a stone's throw away from where we are right now.

[Dax Shepard]

She knows.

[Bri]

Yeah, Yeah, a little bit.

[Ashley]

Okay.

[Dax Shepard]

This is an interesting prompt. I don't know that I even understand it, which is exciting. But this is. Haven't confessed to parents.

[Monica Padman]

There's a secret. They still haven't confessed.

[Dax Shepard]

They're still harboring this secret. Oh, my gosh. And is there any threat of your parents listening?

[Bri]

Probably not, but might have to send it to them after.

[Dax Shepard]

This could be an opportunity. Oh, okay.

[Ashley]

I like that.

[Travis]

Okay.

[Dax Shepard]

Where are you originally from?

[Bri]

I'm originally from Bakersfield. So that's where the story takes place.

[Dax Shepard]

All right, hit us with the Bakersfield story.

[Bri]

Summer of 2010, I was going into my junior year of high school. I was definitely in my mischief era. I was dating a guy who was a senior, and he had been trying to get me to sneak out of my house. And it was always a joke that you couldn't sneak out of my house. My parents had designed it. They put me on, like, the second floor. And always the joke with my parents. Was that they added a balcony off my room. And it was like, oh, you just gotta look out for the rope ladder or she's gonna try to, like, climb down and break her neck. And we also had a guard dog. We also had this alarm system that anytime a window would open or door would open, it would ding. I finally decided. I was like, okay, today I'm gonna commit to devising a plan. I cracked a window the day in our laundry room. This was going to be the only spot, feasibly, that I could actually get in and get out. So that night around midnight, I crept down the stairs, made it past the guard dogs, locked myself in the laundry room, and was like, okay, step one complete. The window that I was climbing out of was on top of a countertop. So I had to climb up on the countertop, take out the window screen. I just put it outside and climbed on out. My boyfriend was down the street, picked me up. We went out to a party out in the orchards. He dropped me back off. It was like 3am had you gotten.

[Dax Shepard]

Drunk at this party?

[Bri]

Yeah.

[Dax Shepard]

Yeah. Okay. So different person returning than had left. Very competent Tom Cruise person made their escape. And now Mr. Bean's returning.

[Bri]

Yeah. So my boyfriend had left. Once I got back to the window, I realized I had messed up the window. I had to climb up on a countertop. So it's six feet off the ground and I'm five two. On a good day, all I'm thinking of is just get my body back inside. We're not thinking about anything else. Can't get caught. So I finally hoist myself up, climb back in, and then I look outside and realize the stupid window screen is still outside. I didn't think to keep it inside. Can't jump back out. Not doing that again. And I tried to, like, dingle down to grab it.

[Dax Shepard]

The dingle didn't work?

[Bri]

No. I was like, you know what? It's in this garden area. There's a lot of plants. I'm just going to wake up early in the morning, I'll get it, put it back. So make it back upstairs. I remember just like, laying down in my bed, going like, I did it. I got away with it and was so happy. The next morning, my sister's waking me up, and she's on the phone with my dad and she tells me someone broke into the house.

[Dax Shepard]

Oh, of course. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, right.

[Monica Padman]

It could have been a squirrel that.

[Dax Shepard]

Removed a screen from the window.

[Monica Padman]

They're very.

[Dax Shepard]

They're very. Okay.

[Bri]

See, I needed you, Monica. Coming up with some ideas.

[Dax Shepard]

That would have been a big red flag.

[Monica Padman]

I think it was definitely a squirrel.

[Dax Shepard]

Yeah. When your kids suggest like, I bet it was a squirrel, you're like, okay, so you did it. That's fine. Let's talk about that.

[Bri]

I remember sitting up and for a split second I was like, well, maybe did somebody break in after me? But that just definitely wasn't the case. My dad is telling us that when he was leaving for work, he went to water the plants. I didn't realize that he did this every morning. And guess what was propped right up against the watering hose was the stupid window screen. My dad concluded it was a break in. He was running late to work. So he's like, just check all the windows, check all the doors, make sure nothing has been stolen. And so we had to check. And he's trying to work through it. He's like, but you have to take the window screen off inside. And the way our windows are, they kind of lock. And I'm just so panicked in this moment. We're now going to get creative. I'm not getting caught this far in. And I was like, oh, my God. The burglars broken yesterday. We're hanging out in our house the entire day and then at night they snuck out of the laundry room.

[Dax Shepard]

Oh, squirrel adjacent theory.

[Monica Padman]

A little squirrely, but kind of like that movie Parasite where they live in the basement. It's like the burglars lived in the basement for the day and then snuck back out.

[Bri]

Something like that. I was like, this story makes zero suds.

[Dax Shepard]

Closed the window behind themselves, but then didn't replace the screen.

[Bri]

Yeah, but somehow that story stuck.

[Monica Padman]

Oh, I love this.

[Bri]

My dad bought that story.

[Dax Shepard]

Oh, wow.

[Bri]

He was like, you know what? I guess that probably is what happened.

[Dax Shepard]

Oh, I wonder if he.

[Monica Padman]

He knew.

[Dax Shepard]

He must.

[Bri]

That night, my family, we were talking about it at dinner. I'm still going hard on this story, trying to get into the mind of these burglars. Wow, what a crazy thing that they did. They must have just been hiding in one of our closets.

[Monica Padman]

Ew, you're making it so scary.

[Bri]

And my parents are like, I think we to call the cops. This is bad. And I'm like, they didn't take anything though. Maybe like, let's not get the cops involved. They're just baffled. Nothing was stolen this summer. I was getting in trouble a lot. My parents were always trying to sniff out a lie or like a cover up. And so I just figured they knew it was really me. They didn't want to have this conversation in front of my sister.

[Dax Shepard]

I'm leaning towards that.

[Monica Padman]

But why wouldn't they just say, hey, we know it was you?

[Dax Shepard]

Well, maybe they just don't want to talk about it at all. Kind of like if you think your wife fucked somebody and you're like, I actually don't ever want to talk about it. I'm just not going to bring it up. Might have been suspicious for months, but then once I think it happened, like, I truly don't ever want to talk about that.

[Monica Padman]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Dax Shepard]

Okay. There's that.

[Monica Padman]

Or a squirrel.

[Dax Shepard]

Or they're just like, it'll be more of a punishment for her that she has to continue this preposterous lie. Maybe they're amused by that.

[Monica Padman]

Depends on how fun your parents are.

[Bri]

They're definitely a fun time. But during this period, I was being grounded a lot. They were really enjoying that and taking away all my things.

[Dax Shepard]

Okay, then. This is confusing.

[Monica Padman]

I think they believed it.

[Bri]

A week later, my dad's friends are over, and one of them is a dean of a high. He's always sniffing out suspicious shit that kids are up to. And my dad tells the story. So I'm like, okay, he actually does buy this crock of shit.

[Monica Padman]

Yeah.

[Bri]

He's telling his friends this happened, and I'm just standing there like, oh, my God, I have to continue to sell this stupid story. And his friend is like, wow, what a weird thing to happen. And just keeps moving on. And I was like, okay. And my dad would keep bringing it up every now and then, and I just haven't said anything. Cause I'm like, he wanted to think the best of me. Might as well keep that going.

[Dax Shepard]

How did they get in originally? Just the front door was unlocked during the day while you guys were home.

[Bri]

I guess that's the theory. Yeah. We used to leave, like, our garage open. Someone could have. I got away with it. It's been almost 15 years.

[Monica Padman]

Oh, this is great.

[Ashley]

Yeah.

[Dax Shepard]

Like, I could see I won by that story for a hot minute, but I might also not even deal with it.

[Monica Padman]

Would you believe a squirrel?

[Dax Shepard]

Nope. Okay, well, Bre. I'm excited to hear what the reaction is if it does get to them. Now your dad's been peddling this story. What if his only resentment is like, damn, that's one of my best stories. I just told it last week at the bar.

[Bri]

God, I hope not.

[Monica Padman]

He saw Parasite and he's like, I lived this.

[Dax Shepard]

Yes.

[Monica Padman]

My life.

[Dax Shepard]

He has a lawsuit against him.

[Monica Padman]

Oh, well, thanks for sharing. I hope you feel Relieved it's off your chest now.

[Dax Shepard]

It seems like you're not a troublemaker anymore. You seem like you're really sorted once.

[Bri]

I moved out of Bakersfield, left all that mischief behind where I'm from.

[Dax Shepard]

Milford's a little bit Bakersfield I know about just having to get into some shit because there's nothing else to do.

[Bri]

Exactly. That's what good old suburbs are for.

[Dax Shepard]

All right, well, lovely meeting you, Bri.

[Bri]

Lovely meeting you, too.

[Dax Shepard]

Now, I'll wave if I see you in the neighborhood.

[Monica Padman]

Absolutely.

[Bri]

Definitely. Well, have a great day. And, Monica, your race to 35 changed my outlook on life. So I just want to say thank you for that and thank you for all the work you guys do.

[Dax Shepard]

All right, Take care.

[Monica Padman]

Remember when you said Mr. Beans?

[Dax Shepard]

Mr. Bean.

[Monica Padman]

Such an old reference.

[Dax Shepard]

It was picture him coming in the house. It's the right visual. He wears a suit a lot. Yeah, you want to hear something even more random? So rowan Atkinson plays Mr. Bean. Two funny things. He does a perfect Martin Brundle impersonation. And when he was interviewed on the Formula one grid by Martin Brundle, he's doing Martin Brundle to him. And Martin doesn't realize it, but it is identical. So it's just two. Martin Brundle speaking.

[Monica Padman]

Wait, who is.

[Dax Shepard]

He's the big commentator on F1. He is such a distinct delivery. And Rowan is just doing him to him and he doesn't realize it. It's one of the funniest clips I've ever seen. Secondly, he bought a McLaren F1 for $750,000. The road car. He crashed it two or three times and he sold it for $12 million.

[Monica Padman]

No, it appreciated with crashes.

[Dax Shepard]

Yes, even with the crashes.

[Ashley]

Andy's in Rat race with Ike Barinholtz.

[Dax Shepard]

Rowan.

[Ashley]

Yeah.

[Monica Padman]

Rowan's in Rat Race with Vince v. Louv.

[Dax Shepard]

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[Monica Padman]

I love Guy Ritchie.

[Dax Shepard]

I love them all. This is such a stellar cast. I cannot wait to Watch it. New series Mobland now streaming on Paramount Plus. We are supported by Allstate. Some people just know they could save hundreds on car insurance by checking Allstate first. Like, you know, to check that you took your allergy pill first before you go to the botanical garden. Like, you know, to make sure that cute coat you bought is waterproof first before you wear it outside on a rainy day. Or checking that a potential partner is an armchair. Checking first is smart, so check Allstate first for a quote that could save you hundreds. You're in good hands with Allstate. Savings vary, subject to terms, conditions and availability. Allstate Fire and Casualty Insurance Company and affiliates, Northbrook, Illinois. We are supported by Quints. Something about the weather warming up makes you want to get outside and go somewhere new, doesn't it? It's the spring travel itch.

[Monica Padman]

Oh my gosh. It's spring break is upon us. Whether you're in school or not, you should still take a spring trip.

[Dax Shepard]

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[Monica Padman]

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[Dax Shepard]

The cashmere, it's so soft.

[Monica Padman]

Beautiful sweater. But also I have these knives from Quince that are incredible. They do have really, really, really high end products.

[Dax Shepard]

They're the greatest. So you can get ready to head out with your Quince luggage and stuff it with some fresh outfits from Quints and look amazing on your trip too. They've got it all. For your next trip, treat yourself to the luxe upgrades you deserve from quince. Go to quince.comdax for 365 day returns plus free shipping on your order. That's Q-U-I-N-C-E.comdax to get free shipping and 365 day returns. Quints.comdax hi.

[Monica Padman]

This is a setup.

[Dax Shepard]

Also you look like you are a star of Dallas. You've never seen that show cause you're too young.

[Lily]

Well, I'm from Dallas.

[Dax Shepard]

Oh, you are.

[Lily]

Maybe that's why it's the hair.

[Monica Padman]

Were you a teenager cheerleader?

[Lily]

No, my roommate from college was though.

[Dax Shepard]

Did you watch the Netflix show about it?

[Lily]

Not the most recent one. Do you remember the one that was on the country channel? Yep, Years and years ago. That was her Season Making the team.

[Dax Shepard]

How exciting. The newer Netflix one, they do show that other show quite often.

[Monica Padman]

That's how I know Rycroft was on that. She was from the Bachelor.

[Dax Shepard]

So I really enjoyed double dipped on these reality shows. And who loves Bavarian Motorworks in your household?

[Lily]

I work for BMW.

[Dax Shepard]

There we go.

[Lily]

My husband did as well. Just kind of kept it in the family.

[Dax Shepard]

In what capacity?

[Lily]

We worked for just about every dealer you can think of. We've bought and sold several dealerships over the years, anywhere from a Hyundai to Ford, a BMW, Subaru, Mazda, all of them. We moved to Colorado. We're buying into this BMW and mini store. And my husband was very good at fixing dealerships, taking them from being very low profit to being super high profit very quickly. And so when he got sick and passed away, they kind of shoved me into his role because I knew how his brain worked and what his plans were.

[Dax Shepard]

First of all, so sorry to hear that. You look very young to have lost a husband.

[Lily]

Definitely.

[Dax Shepard]

Secondly, is it get the service situation working correctly? Is that the first step?

[Lily]

Always. That's your repeat customer.

[Dax Shepard]

Okay, Ashley, you have a story. Does it take place in Dallas?

[Lily]

So this takes place in Albuquerque. Actually, I think y'all were filming Employee of the Month when this took place.

[Dax Shepard]

Oh, my gosh. I was staying at the Embassy Suites.

[Lily]

I was in high school, and mind you, I lost sleep last night. I have not told but one person this story in 23 years since it happened.

[Dax Shepard]

Oh, my God.

[Lily]

I'm about 16. I wrecked a motorcycle, had to have surgery. Along with surgery comes pain medication. Happened to wake up the day after surgery. I'd also come down with mono.

[Dax Shepard]

Street bike or dirt bike.

[Lily]

Street bike. So I raced all through high school and partway through college.

[Dax Shepard]

Oh, my gosh.

[Lily]

Not drinking enough water. My throat hurts. I'm trying to get food down. Taking Tylenol on top of it for a fever. It's just this whole perfect storm of things. About nine, ten days in, I haven't pooped.

[Dax Shepard]

Sure you're on opiates?

[Lily]

Yeah, I'm like, super duper impacted. My doctor's like, you need to put her on some stool softeners. That should help. And if that doesn't work, try laxative. So we do that over the course of a couple of days. Finally, I'm like, I gotta go. Of course, it's the day that my parents have 15 people over for Bible study. My bathroom is the guest bathroom. I managed to go in there, give birth. It's essentially labor because it's hard two weeks Worth.

[Monica Padman]

Oh my God.

[Lily]

My best friend was like, you should make a play DOH model so they can see. So I get this thing out, I look in the toilet and I'm like, this isn't going anywhere.

[Dax Shepard]

Sure, sure.

[Lily]

Try to flush it. It's not budget. It's in there solid. Now I'm like, okay, I can't go out there and ask for a plunger. I can't leave it here. People are going to want this bathroom. I'm looking through the cabinets going, maybe I can break it up and get it down. I find this solo cup. It's under the cabinet that I had left under there from one of my secret parties. Decide I'm going to fish the thing out. It's bad enough if my parents have to see it, but if all my friends, parents from church have to see it. So I fished this thing out and I'm like, all right, well, I'm going to open the window and toss it, I guess.

[Dax Shepard]

Okay. Okay, great. Now it fit in a solo cup girth wise. Okay. Wow. Okay, great. Yeah, yeah.

[Monica Padman]

Can you believe that was in your body?

[Lily]

I don't know how I didn't have some kind of reptil mental prolapse. Giving birth was not even as bad. We'll say that. So I take the screen off the window, toss it out. On our side yard were all these juniper bushes. And so no one ever went over there, tossed it in there and thought, it'll rain, it'll snow, it'll go away. The problem is gone. Go about my life, go back to school, everything's perfect. Seven months down the road, my parents decide they're going to clear out that side yard. My mom was rescuing turtles or something at the time and so she wanted this space for these tortoises. I pull out these bushes. Lo and behold, this thing has petrified. So it's just laying there.

[Monica Padman]

Oh my God.

[Lily]

So I hear my mom come inside and she's like, I don't know who would poop in our side yard? That's just crazy. And my dad is going, I don't know, it must have been a contractor, maybe a homeless person. He's of course thinking, this had to come out of a man, right?

[Dax Shepard]

Yes, man.

[Lily]

I'm like, what do I do? So I go out and I'm like, what happened? What are you guys doing?

[Dax Shepard]

Too big to do.

[Monica Padman]

Why didn't it get washed away?

[Bri]

Way it's the desert.

[Lily]

They don't get enough rain. It snowed and just like froze it.

[Monica Padman]

And then it was there and Turned into an icicle.

[Lily]

I agreed. I was like, it must have been one of these workers. One of the roofers, maybe.

[Dax Shepard]

Sure, one of these jerks.

[Lily]

To this day, I am now 38 years old, about to be 39. I've never spoken a word of this, but to one person.

[Monica Padman]

We feel so lucky.

[Dax Shepard]

Me, too. I'm so proud of you. Way to handle your business. If I'm your father, I go. Good for you. When the dirty work needs doing, you roll up your sleeves and you get it done.

[Lily]

Literal dirty work. Gotta get the duty done.

[Dax Shepard]

I want to see it so bad. Don't you, Monica?

[Monica Padman]

Yeah, I do think the play D'oh. Would have been a good idea.

[Dax Shepard]

Here's the disgusting part about me. If I did that same thing, I would want to see it again. Maybe a couple weeks later. I would be like, I'm going to go look. Because you might build it up in your head like a fish you caught. No, it wasn't really as big as I'm remembering it.

[Monica Padman]

Most people think, I want to forget this ever happens.

[Dax Shepard]

I got you.

[Lily]

I think that's the female take. I can promise you, my husband would have been like, cover it in epox. Let's save it. Let's just put it in a case. That's record.

[Dax Shepard]

It's a trophy.

[Monica Padman]

It does seem like something we'd have up here. Well, we're proud of you.

[Dax Shepard]

Yeah.

[Monica Padman]

For taking care of biz. And also sharing.

[Lily]

Figured if I'm going to share it at all, I should share it with the entire world.

[Dax Shepard]

Yeah, it's a good start. Did the hydrocodone thing ever pop up again?

[Lily]

No one. It kind of made me never want to take it again. But even later on, with future injuries, I realized it makes me so sick I can't take opiates at all.

[Dax Shepard]

We've done a lot of things right. Ever get back on the motorcycle?

[Lily]

Not since having my kids.

[Dax Shepard]

Don't shame me. I feel that subtweet there.

[Monica Padman]

I think you're making the right decision.

[Lily]

There are moments, especially after losing my husband, where that adrenaline rush and that ability to just turn off everything around you seems so tempting. But when you're in that level of grief, the last thing you need is the temptation to just do 180 just because it feels good.

[Dax Shepard]

Well, actually, this has been a blast.

[Monica Padman]

Yeah.

[Bri]

Thanks for joining.

[Lily]

Thanks, you guys. I know everyone does this. I have not been an armchair from day one.

[Dax Shepard]

We like new listeners.

[Monica Padman]

Yeah, we do.

[Lily]

When Steve got sick, we were going through chemo, and that takes forever. Our first Chemo deal was eight hours of a day. We didn't know what to do. We were bored. And I was looking for podcasts and I came across you guys. And so we were sharing our little AirPods and it's what we did during his two or three chemo appointments that he had before he passed those. Nice. It got us through and got us some laughs.

[Dax Shepard]

Oh, man, that's really lovely. Well, lovely meeting you. Thanks for sharing all that with us. All right, have a good one. Bye.

[Lily]

Take care.

[Dax Shepard]

I know. How are you?

[Ashley]

Hi. How are you guys doing?

[Dax Shepard]

Good. I'm so intrigued by all the different posters on your wall.

[Ashley]

Wilco. We got Twin Peaks. We got the Day the Earth Stood Still. We are movie nerds in our house.

[Monica Padman]

How fun.

[Dax Shepard]

Where are you?

[Monica Padman]

What part of the world?

[Ashley]

I'm far away from you guys in Los Feliz.

[Dax Shepard]

That's twice today we had a Franklin Village person.

[Monica Padman]

Do you guys think we over index in Los Feliz for secrets we haven't told parents?

[Ashley]

Oh, well, we like run away from because we're so ashamed from our past selves. We're trying to escape.

[Dax Shepard]

I agree. I think there's something there.

[Monica Padman]

They go to UCB to be funny and get over it.

[Dax Shepard]

Just laugh their way through the shame. Okay, so what did you do that you haven't told your parents about?

[Ashley]

This was my freshman year of high school. I was in an English language honors class. My mom was really strict on maintaining A's and B's. We read a book every quarter, maybe two books a quarter. And she would do weekly reading checks. Our teacher, let's call her Mrs. Puff.

[Dax Shepard]

Okay, great.

[Ashley]

He didn't assigned reading. Growing up, it was really difficult. I would push it off to the last second. So that class, which required a lot of assigned reading, I was falling behind. I was hetering. 85 is a B.

[Dax Shepard]

84 is a C. Well, that's 79's.

[Ashley]

A C. In South Carolina, where I grew up, it was 85 to 92.

[Monica Padman]

Was a B. Oh, yeah, that's books.

[Ashley]

It was tough. I had to maintain that my household. So we're reading this book. We have a reading check. I'm at the point if I do bad on another reading check, it's going to bring my grade down to a C and I'm really dreading it. So we have this test on a Tuesday. Monday night comes. I didn't read. And this is 2010, 2011, so there's not iPhones. When you get to school, you can like cram. You can do the Spark notes. So I get to school the class before my English class is P.E. we're doing basketball. It's one of my loves. We're in a really intense pickup game. I'm playing point guard. At one point, I get elbowed really hard in the chest. I'm okay. You know, it took me a second to catch my breath, but I kind of had this, like, light bulb moment. Maybe I just exaggerate this a bit so when I get to this class, I can go to the nurse and take the test a little later. I finished the class. I didn't go to the nurse right away. I went to the locker room. I'm trying to sell it a little bit. I'm not telling anyone of my idea. So I'm like, sitting in the locker room, like, I'm really not feeling that great. And they're like, oh, man, you good? I'm like, yeah, I really got elbowed really hard, and I'm just not really doing too hot. And they're like, oh, man, you good? I'm like, yeah, I'll be good. I'll be good. I'm walking to class. I'm really trying to sell it as I'm walking. I'm dragging ass a little bit. I'm walking up the stairs, baby, stopping every step. You can't go over the top, but you have to plant these seeds right.

[Monica Padman]

I saw him on the stairs, and he was struggling.

[Dax Shepard]

He rested midway up the stairs.

[Ashley]

I think, get in the full character. I make it to class. It's second period. I'm sitting next to a couple of guys. The guy sitting next to me is this guy Caleb. So I'm like, yeah, I'm really not feeling good. Even Caleb looks at me. He's like, man, do you think you should go to the nurse? I think I'm good.

[Dax Shepard]

Really quick. What could feel worse than getting sympathy that you don't deserve? It really puts you into the headspace of these people with moonchildism. Because I feel so guilty.

[Ashley]

I know I don't take sympathy very well. Like, if someone feels bad for me and try to pat me on the back, I'm like, oh, no, I'm fine. That's my initial reaction, and I try to play into that here. So I'm kind of thinking we're going to maybe do a couple things before the test starts. We have morning announcements, and then immediately my teacher, Mrs. Puff, is like, all right, guys, we're going to get to go on the test. And I'm like, okay, it's showtime. Raise my hand. I'm like, Mrs. Puff. And she's like, noah, don't interrupt me while I'm talking. That's rude. In that moment, I got really heated. I think my defense mechanism really went wrong.

[Dax Shepard]

You got indignant.

[Monica Padman]

I'm dying, and you're telling me to.

[Dax Shepard]

You believe your own story.

[Ashley]

Immediately. This fire goes off in my head, and I raise my hand and I scream at the top of my lungs, Ms.

[Dax Shepard]

Puff, I'm having a heart attack.

[Ashley]

And I put my head on my desk. I just made myself hyperventilate because what do you do when you're having a heart attack?

[Monica Padman]

This is wild.

[Ashley]

She sprints out of the room and yells, 911.

[Dax Shepard]

Oh, my God. Call 911. Oh, boy. This is like the girl who staged a slip and fall at Kmart.

[Ashley]

What I'm doing right now, I don't realize until much, much later on that it is really illegal.

[Dax Shepard]

Sure, sure, sure. Let's not get hung up on that.

[Ashley]

I don't think I can get in trouble now.

[Dax Shepard]

No, no, no.

[Ashley]

So she runs out of the room. She's like, someone call 911. I'm in this. There's no being like, just kidding.

[Dax Shepard]

Yeah. You're past the point of no return.

[Ashley]

The whole class is cleared out. Oh, and an EMS comes. They're, like, talking to me. I'm not answering any of their questions.

[Dax Shepard]

Well, you're playing.

[Monica Padman]

Oh, my God.

[Ashley]

I'm giving them a couple words. Oh, God. Oh, my God. They bring in an air tank, and they give me oxygen.

[Monica Padman]

What if they started doing, like, a chest tube?

[Ashley]

Yeah, they took my pulse. They're like, yeah, it's probably an anxiety attack that this kid's having. So they put me on a stretcher, and they stretch me out of the high school. I had a really big high school. It was, like, 4,000 students. So I get taken to the hospital. I'm sitting there. My mom shows up.

[Dax Shepard]

Well, hold on. She kind of deserves this.

[Monica Padman]

Why?

[Dax Shepard]

When you put this much stress on your kids to get bees, look what lengths they'll go to. That's how strong the stress is.

[Ashley]

We had a strict household. I'm terrified of my mom. I'd rather do this than go through the argument. So I'm sitting there. My vice principal shows up. The principal of our, like, freshman academy is there the whole time. I'm just acting dopey. I'm like, I'm okay. I'm doing better. That was really scary. I end up waiting. However long it takes to get X ray results. An hour or two. My Doctor comes in, he's like, I'm glad you're doing better. We found some interesting things on your X rays. It turns out you have a bruise on your sternum. I was like, oh, yeah, I got elbowed in basketball earlier. He's like, when you have trauma that suffered to the chest area, sometimes our bodies react in a way that is uncontrollable, which might have caused your body to go into panic. This guy's helping me get out of it. I swear.

[Dax Shepard]

Right. He doesn't want to embarrass you that you had a panic attack.

[Ashley]

Exactly. I got sent home. I had the next day of school off. Off. So because it all happened on school property, it all ended up being covered by the school, which is great because my family didn't have health insurance.

[Monica Padman]

Oh, my God.

[Ashley]

So my mom would have gotten really screwed. Going to the hospital in an ambulance is incredibly expensive.

[Monica Padman]

And having X rays and. Oh my God.

[Ashley]

It would put my family into so much trouble financially. The next day, I go back to school. I shamely made my way over to Mrs. Puff's room. She's like, noah, she hugs me. She's like, I'm so glad to see you. Like, thanks.

[Monica Padman]

This is so bad.

[Ashley]

I'm feeling so much better. I missed that test the other day. Can I make it up after school? And she's like, don't worry about that test. She gave me an A or B, so it didn't affect my grade.

[Monica Padman]

What's the lesson here?

[Dax Shepard]

We are supported by Peloton. Peloton has what you need to achieve your fitness goals. No matter what, why you got started, Rob, you're a peloton devotee. How often?

[Ashley]

I am five times a week on that peloton.

[Dax Shepard]

Five times a week. And what kind of changes have you noticed?

[Ashley]

I mean, my endurance. I can go longer after doing it started at 20 minutes and now I'm doing 45 minute sessions.

[Dax Shepard]

Oh, yeah, girl. Also, I noticed your legs and haunches look gorgeous. Peloton has a variety of challenging classes and training programs. Pilates, 5K, 10K, half and full marathon programs, yoga and strength training. Peloton will push you to achieve your goals.

[Monica Padman]

I sneak over to my friend who has a peloton. I sneak over there and I get in a workout. It's so nice. Yeah, it is also like elegant.

[Dax Shepard]

Yeah, it is. Peloton has thousands of members whose lives have been changed by the workouts, experiences and community. Join them today. Find your push, find your power with peloton. @1peloton.com. We are supported by Better Health Help. Let's talk numbers. Traditional in person therapy can cost anywhere from $100 to $250 per session, which adds up fast. But with BetterHelp online therapy, you can save on average up to 50% per session. And you know, people don't have any problem investing into their physical health. And I sure would like to see them have that same willingness to invest in their mental health. With better help, you pay a flat fee for weekly sessions, saving you big on cost and time. Therapy should feel accessible, not like a luxury. With online therapy, quality care at a price that makes sense and can help you with anything from anxiety to everyday stress, your mental health is worth it. And now it's within reach. With over 30,000 therapists, BetterHelp is the world's largest online therapy platform, having served over 5 million people globally. It's convenient too. You can join a session with the click of a button, helping you fit therapy into your busy life. Plus switch therapists at any time. Your well being is worth it. Visit betterhelp.comdax today to get 10% off your first month. That's betterhelp h lp.comdax.

[Ashley]

So I didn't tell anyone about it. It was like two years later. I told my best friend about it. We were smoking weed and I was like, brian, I fucking faked the heart attack.

[Dax Shepard]

You.

[Ashley]

It's like, what?

[Monica Padman]

The heart attack?

[Dax Shepard]

The famous heart attack.

[Ashley]

Later on, my senior year of high school, this is like three years later, I was in a talent show. I did a stand up bit and I was not really doing good at writing jokes. So I decided to tell the heart attack story. Turns out Mrs. Puff is one of the judges at the talent show.

[Monica Padman]

Did you say you faked it?

[Ashley]

Yeah, I said it all happened in sixth grade. I changed her name to Mrs. Applebottom. Jeans, boots with the fur. Because that was in the Zeit Great guys. At the time, the bit killed and I won the talent show.

[Dax Shepard]

Oh my Lord. Did she not?

[Ashley]

She never put two and two together.

[Monica Padman]

Oh my God.

[Ashley]

Mrs.

[Dax Shepard]

Puff. She deserves it too.

[Ashley]

And neither my parents were there. So that's kind of where.

[Dax Shepard]

That's a great story. You just won one one.

[Ashley]

I don't feel great about it.

[Dax Shepard]

No, of course not.

[Monica Padman]

You have a big smile on you.

[Dax Shepard]

He knows. He's around.

[Ashley]

Rascal.

[Dax Shepard]

It's that Rascal smile.

[Ashley]

I promise. I've changed. I've learned. I don't think I could do that now.

[Dax Shepard]

Wilco would be upset.

[Ashley]

They would be very upset.

[Dax Shepard]

Yeah, that's not the kind of thing they condone.

[Ashley]

David lynch wouldn't be very proud.

[Dax Shepard]

He might be. He was a rascal.

[Monica Padman]

The things we do to survive a moment. I get it.

[Ashley]

It was fight or flight. 100%.

[Monica Padman]

The heart attack.

[Dax Shepard]

I like that. He had to unburden himself while stone. Like Ralph Skolnikov, like, I have to get this off my chest. Well, no, that was great. I'm happy that you did all that.

[Ashley]

Thank you for listening.

[Dax Shepard]

Our pleasure. Great meeting you.

[Ashley]

Great to meet you. Also, before I let you go, my girlfriend's the one that signed this up. Can I get her to say hi? She's a huge fan.

[Dax Shepard]

Of course.

[Ashley]

She's about to do a job interview, so this is going to make her day. This is Elise.

[Monica Padman]

Hi, guys. Wow. This is very exciting.

[Bri]

I listen to you guys every week.

[Dax Shepard]

Nice to meet you. Where are you from?

[Bri]

I'm from New Jersey originally.

[Dax Shepard]

Okay. A Garden State in a South Carolinian.

[Monica Padman]

We met five years ago, and on.

[Bri]

Our first date, he told me this story.

[Ashley]

And he's like, he's a winner.

[Bri]

It was a red flag at first, but he won me over eventually.

[Dax Shepard]

Like, he's a liar, but he's a charming liar.

[Monica Padman]

That's right.

[Bri]

Exactly. Thank you guys so much for all of the stuff you do. I saw the prompt and I was like, all right, babe, you gotta do it.

[Dax Shepard]

You're up. Well, nice meeting you guys.

[Monica Padman]

Yes.

[Dax Shepard]

All right, take care.

[Monica Padman]

Good luck on your interview.

[Bri]

Thank you so much. Bye.

[Monica Padman]

Wow, the heart attack.

[Dax Shepard]

That could happen to me.

[Monica Padman]

No, really.

[Dax Shepard]

I could. Could see myself.

[Monica Padman]

Okay.

[Dax Shepard]

You going for it.

[Monica Padman]

You acted like you hated the idea of getting sympathy, but you don't.

[Dax Shepard]

No, I do. I wouldn't want any of that. I'd want to get out of the thing I had to get out of, and then that would be. The consequence of it, is that I'd have to receive all this sympathy.

[Monica Padman]

Sure.

[Dax Shepard]

For something I didn't.

[Monica Padman]

You like sympathy because you left blood out for people to see.

[Dax Shepard]

My goal there is for them to go, like, he's so stoic. Look how much he bled. I want admiration. Try to be very honest.

[Monica Padman]

This story is that Kristen walked in and saw on the trash can, there was all this bloody.

[Dax Shepard]

And that's my whole move is I don't tell her I was bleeding.

[Monica Padman]

Right.

[Dax Shepard]

You put it on top.

[Monica Padman]

You pulled it up and put it on top.

[Dax Shepard]

Yes. I wanted it to be seen. And then I wanted to hear that they admired my stoicism in the face of being injured. I don't want sympathy, but you can understand that. Right. Like her arm broke in half and she didn't even flinch. She just calmly went to the hospital.

[Monica Padman]

I don't have that. Although in cheerleading, I guess there was an element of you did need to suck it up and move on. And that was a compliment.

[Dax Shepard]

Yeah.

[Monica Padman]

Hi.

[Dax Shepard]

We find you amid many pillows.

[Travis]

It is my best attempt at a pillow fort.

[Dax Shepard]

It's good. I like it.

[Travis]

I'm not at home, so I don't have a closet with clothes in it.

[Dax Shepard]

Are you at an Airbnb?

[Travis]

I am. So I'm originally from Vancouver, Canada, but I live in Phoenix and I'm on tour right now in Miami.

[Dax Shepard]

How do you like Phoenix? Coming from Vancouver, that couldn't be a more opposite environment.

[Travis]

I actually had seasonal depression my first three years there with too much sun. Oh, I know. My wife told me it wasn't a thing. Yeah. Monica, your dad's sim is in full effect today. The episode came out with Seth Rogen. So I'm a cannabis chef and I travel around the world doing very high end fine dining cannabis dinners. I actually developed the curriculum for the American Culinary Federation to start training chefs how to use it. And today Seth was talking about how bad the edible experiences can be. And I was literally yelling like, no, don't say this. You're scaring people.

[Dax Shepard]

I guarantee he'd be first in line to have your cuisine. So you're making different dishes and a lot of them have weed in it. As the meal progresses, you're getting a little stoned and then more hungry. So by the time dessert hits, you're like, fucking bring this shit.

[Travis]

Yeah. We like a five course menu. Every course has one infused component and then we dose each each guest on their own tolerance level. I've served over 25,000 people now with about a thousand first time cannabis users, people who've never touched the plant before. So trying to change the perception that edibles mean cookies, brownies, gummies, and that it can be a very enjoyable, fun experience if done properly.

[Dax Shepard]

Wow, what a neat niche you've found yourself in.

[Travis]

Unintended, it just kind of happened.

[Dax Shepard]

What's your signature dish? What's the one you're most proud of that people rave about about?

[Travis]

Probably a proge poutine dish that I do where we do it. A potato infused proge, short rib ragu and then a maple apple bours and cheese.

[Monica Padman]

Oh, my.

[Travis]

Right now with my menus, it's very Canadian forward. We're all very patriotic at the moment in any way that we can show our pride.

[Dax Shepard]

Sure.

[Monica Padman]

I Get it?

[Dax Shepard]

You got no beef with the citizens. I hope everyone knows.

[Ashley]

No.

[Travis]

I love America and I love Americans.

[Dax Shepard]

We love Canada.

[Monica Padman]

I also love poutine.

[Travis]

You have a huge percentage of people on non chair anonymous that are Canadian. I don't know if you guys recognize, but there's always Canadians phone. And with good stories.

[Dax Shepard]

You're dead right. It does over index. Given the fact that there's less in Canada than California, it's pretty wild.

[Travis]

Absolutely.

[Dax Shepard]

Okay, so you've got a story to confess.

[Travis]

I do. I got to start off saying I have the most amazing parents and I don't know how they didn't give up on me, get rid of me or trade me because I got in a lot of trouble as a kid. This story has to do specifically with Halloween. Where I'm from in Canada. Our high schools were grade 8 to 12, so we didn't really have a middle school. You went from elementary school into high school. And I got grounded. Every single Halloween from grade 8 to 11, I would do something in September, get grounded. And that was the thing they would take away from me.

[Dax Shepard]

They took away trick or treating. That's harsh.

[Monica Padman]

That is.

[Travis]

I probably would have been up to no good. So maybe it was a good thing, except I still got up to no good.

[Dax Shepard]

Okay. Okay.

[Travis]

Grade nine, suspended at home, not allowed to go out for Halloween. But my dad still wanted me to have some fun. So the fireworks in Canada are pretty tame. So we used to actually drive across the border down to Blaine, Washington. We would buy the fun fireworks and then we'd bring them back up to Canada. So my dad's like, listen, you gotta stay home, but let's go down and get you some fireworks. So he's kind of to blame here.

[Dax Shepard]

A little bit, I would think.

[Travis]

Halloween's going on. I'm in the backyard lighting off our fireworks, having fun. My little brother comes home from trick or treating. His friend is there with him. It's getting later in the night, my parents decide to go down the street to a friend's house to see them for a little bit. Little brother and his friend are in bed, and I'm wide awake. I've got a basket full of fireworks. And don't know if you remember the movie problem child. It was a movie early in the 90s about a family that adopted a boy who looked beautiful but was very mischievous.

[Monica Padman]

Oh, my God.

[Travis]

There's a scene in the movie when he lights in at mady at school, flushes it down the toilet, and the young baby goes all the way over to the other washroom where the principal is. And it blows all the water out of the toilet.

[Dax Shepard]

Oh, what a great plan, right?

[Travis]

Let's give it a try.

[Monica Padman]

Uh oh.

[Travis]

I've only got a little bottle rocket. I light it, I drop it in the toilet and it starts to spiral around and around and around. It's not going down. It blows and it cracks the entire toilet base. Water starts gushing out, it's pouring everywhere. Now I'm 13, I don't know. There's a water valve right behind. I'm grabbing towels, I'm trying to put it around. I give it about three minutes and pretty much I'm going to bed.

[Dax Shepard]

Oh. Oh my God. Oh my God. Yes. God bless your parents. Hold on, hold on, hold on, hold on. There's so much here already.

[Ashley]

Three minutes.

[Dax Shepard]

The notion that it was a good idea for you to put a firework in the toilet inside your house. This is like if you got a 13 year old boy at home, anything's on the table. I know, like I can see that making, making sense to me, but why would that make. And then another thing. Shame on your. You should have known where the shut off valve was. You got to teach your kids. There's a nozzle behind the toilet and you crank it to the right.

[Monica Padman]

I think not everyone knows that.

[Dax Shepard]

Well, they should though, because you get in these situations where flooding can occur, then the real damage starts.

[Travis]

So my great idea is to dip into bed and pretend it wasn't me.

[Dax Shepard]

Oh boy.

[Travis]

Literally lying in bed waiting to hear the front door open and them coming home and also thinking, please hurry up and come home because the basement is flooding.

[Monica Padman]

Did you take the rocket out? No, it's still in there. Okay.

[Dax Shepard]

You just threw your hands in the air.

[Travis]

Exactly. I hear the front door open, I hear my parents come in. And then my dad was 6, 6, 260 pound, very big man, very intimidating. All of a sudden you hear what the mama pulls me, my brother and my brother's friend out. Lines usually up. Now they've shut the water off because they know where the valve is and they're like, who did this? And I'm keeping my mouth shut. My dad lost his temper a little bit. Remember the old big computer monitors?

[Dax Shepard]

Yes.

[Travis]

So there was one of those in the room you're standing in. He may have broke it in anger when the monitor broke. I knew right then I was never going to admit to doing this.

[Dax Shepard]

Y right?

[Travis]

Yeah, yeah, I was sleeping. Must have been my brother and his friend. Oh, my brother was a good kid. He didn't do anything.

[Dax Shepard]

Sounds like he's got a buddy sleeping over. He was allowed to trick or treat, by the way. I can't even believe they're asking. It's so obviously you.

[Travis]

Clearly, they end up sending my brother's friend home. Me and my brother are grounded for another two months. I'm grounded for another. He gets a grounding he didn't deserve. Ironically, it's his birthday today. Happy birthday, Blair. And I'm very sorry. It's a confession to you as well.

[Dax Shepard]

Oh, poor Blair.

[Travis]

That is the time that blew up our toilet on Halloween.

[Monica Padman]

Oh, and you never confess. You just stood strong.

[Travis]

I got in trouble so much that I saw how mad he was.

[Dax Shepard]

Now, let me ask you this. If he hadn't broke the computer monitor, do you think he would have confessed?

[Travis]

I don't think in that moment, I was already in a grounding. I handled every part of it wrong.

[Monica Padman]

Did your brother try to rat you out?

[Travis]

I actually convinced my brother it was his friend. The sad part is it cost him that friendship. They never hung out again. Cuz he was like, you need to admit to doing this. And he was like, I didn't do do it. And I was like, like you said, who would blow up their own toilet? Right? Clearly, it had to have been the friend who was over who had this idea.

[Ashley]

Oh, this is so.

[Dax Shepard]

Yeah. So this is really for Blair. Happy birthday, Blair. And so sorry that Travis perpetrated all this on you.

[Travis]

I love you, Blair. He made it. I made it. My wife and I are trying to have a family right now, and my mom and dad keep saying to me, you're going to get a Travis. I will have a travesty of my own, and I will know what it's like to walk in their shoes when I look what happened throughout my teen years. Amazing parents.

[Dax Shepard]

Well, Travis, thank you for that. That was great.

[Travis]

I just wanted to say one thing, Dax. The very first episode I listened to was Gwyneth Paltrow. The very first time you had her on, you said something that impacted my entire career. And I don't remember word for word what it was, but it's always stuck with me. When you're working on a project, you're always kind of focused on finishing and what the reward is. And the real reward is the journey. I've got to go everywhere. I've got to cook with amazing chefs. But I've always kept that mind of, I'm here right now, and in 20 years, I'm going to remember this moment. Not the reward. It to me has been just such a great motto to really recognize how special everything is. I just really appreciate the shows you guys do.

[Dax Shepard]

Travis, thank you. I'm so delighted.

[Monica Padman]

We hope you have a great rest of your day.

[Dax Shepard]

Yeah. Take care, brother. Nice meeting you.

[Travis]

Thanks, guys.

[Monica Padman]

Well, that was fun. I wonder if this will instigate a slew of people confessing stuff to their parents.

[Dax Shepard]

The only one of these that I would think the parent actually didn't know would be Noah.

[Monica Padman]

You think?

[Dax Shepard]

Oh, the shit. I guess they don't think it's her. You're right. But they won't care if they find.

[Monica Padman]

Out now, you mean?

[Dax Shepard]

Yeah, but the heart attack. The mom's still gonna go. That could have bankrupted us.

[Monica Padman]

Exactly, Noah. All right, well. Love you.

[Dax Shepard]

Love you.

[Ashley]

Do you want to sing a tune or something? We don't have a theme song.

[Dax Shepard]

Oh, okay, great. We don't have a theme song for this new show, so here I go, go, go. We're gonna ask some random questions and with the help of armchairs, we'll get some suggestions on the fly rhyme dish. On the fly rhyme dish. Enjoy. Follow Armchair Expert on the One Dream app, Amazon Music, or wherever you get your podcasts. You can listen to every episode of Armchair Expert early and ad free right now by joining Wondry plus in the Wondry app or on Apple podcasts. Before you go, tell us about yourself by completing a short [e-mail] survey At.

[Monica Lewinsky]

24, I lost my narrative, or rather, it was stolen from me. And the Monica Lewinsky that my friends and family knew was usurped by false narratives, narratives, callous jokes, and politics. I would define reclaiming as to take back what was yours. Something you possess is lost or stolen, and ultimately you triumph in finding it again. So I think listeners can expect me to be chatting with folks both recognizable and unrecognizable names about the way that people have navigated roads to triumph. My hope is that people will finish an episode of Reclaiming and feel like they filled their tank up, they connected with the people that I'm talking to and leave with maybe some nuggets that help them feel a little more hopeful. Follow Reclaiming with Monica Lewinsky on the Wondery app or wherever you get your podcasts. You can listen to Reclaiming early and ad free right now by joining Wondery plus in the Wondery app or on Apple podcasts.