Armchair Anonymous: Holiday Nightmare III

Summary

Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard

Episode: Armchair Anonymous: Holiday Nightmare III

Release Date: December 19, 2025
Host: Dax Shepard
Co-Host: Monica Padman

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Episode Overview

The annual “Holiday Nightmare” episode returns for its third installment, as Dax Shepard and Monica Padman invite listeners to anonymously share their wild, mortifying, or disastrous holiday stories. This year, the stories cover everything from chaotic Christmas family gatherings, pepper spray mishaps, holiday sex injuries, car accidents, and COVID-riddled Christmases. Each story is told with the lighthearted humor, empathy, and playful banter that have become the show's trademark—a reminder that holiday chaos is often a universal experience.

---

Key Discussion Points & Notable Stories

1. The Pepper Spray Christmas in Plano, Texas

Guest: Bella
Timestamp: 03:00–10:32

• Family Background:

  • Bella’s family are proud Texans. Her mom is one of seven siblings, meaning their home over the holidays is always filled to the brim with extended family.
  • They fully embrace Texan and Dallas stereotypes (“The higher the hair, the closer to God.” —Monica, 05:04).

• The Incident:

  • On Christmas day, after lunch while the men watch football and the cousins play Rock Band, a stray dog suddenly bursts into their house.
  • The uncles spring into action (“That’s their duty.” —Dax, 06:15), and Uncle Bob decides to use pepper spray to chase the dog away, aiming “above” its head for “humane” reasons.
  • The plan fails spectacularly: the wind blows all the pepper spray back into the house, affecting elderly relatives, pregnant cousins, and toddlers. The dog, curiously, is unaffected and happily running around.
  • The pepper spray odor lingers for days.
  • The family tradition of hosting on Christmas is now forever marked by this “holiday nightmare.”

• Memorable Moments:

  • “Uncle Bob must have really unloaded. What he promised was a little gentle spray above the head, but he must have got trigger happy with it.” —Dax, 08:41
  • “Pepper spray should not have been on the roster.” —Bella, 09:40

---

2. Tennessee Holiday Hookup Gone Wrong

Guest: “Sasha” (pseudonym)
Timestamp: 13:39–28:58

• Background:

  • “Sasha” is at her new boyfriend’s family Christmas. She comes from a conservative Southern family (“I could not say fart growing up.” —Sasha, 21:38), while his is rowdy, fun, and drinks and plays cards.

• The Incident:

  • After some drinking and learning to play Spades, she and her boyfriend sneak out to “the car” for a make-out (and more) session.
  • The motion light turns on; startled, her boyfriend, in a panic, shoves her off his lap and bolts, leaving her to get her ankle twisted and stuck under the emergency brake.
  • His uncle discovers them; she is carried inside (bridal-style) and her accident—and what caused it—are quickly revealed to the entire family.
  • Despite the initial embarrassment, the family finds the episode hilarious. His mom and aunt are nurses and tend to her injured ankle, even providing crutches.
  • She later hobbles into her conservative family’s church play, trying to downplay the “sex injury.”

• Memorable Moments:

  • “Are we fucking?” —Sasha on her two drinking modes, 22:39
  • “She was riding Billy in the front seat of the foreign car.” —Sasha (quoting her uncle ratting her out), 25:24
  • “There was only one rabbit in that vehicle. It was your daughter.” —Dax, 46:50
  • “That is as messy as it gets. I miss it.” —Dax, reflecting nostalgically, 28:16

---

3. Holiday Traffic, COVID, and a Deer: New Parent Nightmare

Guest: Aaron (and wife Brie briefly)
Timestamp: 34:39–44:46

• Background:

  • Aaron and Brie, relatively new parents, embark on the classic “baby’s first Christmas” road trip from Georgia to Maryland to visit family.

• The Sequence of Disasters:

  1. Car Accident:
     • On Christmas Eve, just before their exit, an elderly man rear-ends them on the highway. No one is seriously hurt, but their car is damaged.
  2. Christmas Morning in the ER:
     • On Christmas Day, their infant spikes a dangerously high fever (104°F). ER visit reveals baby has COVID.
     • The extended family does a “drive-by” gift drop to avoid exposure. Later, Aaron’s mother-in-law also tests positive.
  3. Bonus Mishap:
     • After returning to Georgia and getting a rental while their car is repaired, Aaron strikes a deer with the rental, causing further car troubles and a $500 repair bill.

• Memorable Moments:

  • “On Christmas morning, we head over to the emergency room... she is positive for Covid.” —Aaron, 41:13
  • “I get out, the deer's gone, but has left a nice dent and some fur and a little bit of blood on the door.” —Aaron, 43:49
  • “Well, you know what's funny is I'm Jewish. I'm like, I'm never celebrating Christmas again.” —Aaron, 44:17
  • “This is why Hanukkah is eight nights. We spread out the good juju.” —Aaron, 44:26

---

Host Banter & Running Jokes

• Dax and Monica trade jokes about family traditions, stereotypes, and the “itch” of year seven in podcasting (00:49).

• College Football Rivalry:
  Dax antagonizes Monica and guests by shouting random college chants (“Roll Tide,” “Go Vols,” “Hook ‘Em,” “Go Dawgs!”), claiming his lack of loyalty:

  • “I will not prioritize loyalty over the truth.” —Dax, 19:35

• Holiday Observations:
  Monica reflects on celebrating Christmas as an Indian-American family, noting how traditions sometimes must be invented or adopted (11:52).

---

Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

| Timestamp | Quote | Speaker | |---|---|---| | 05:04 | "The higher the hair, the closer to God." | Monica | | 08:41 | "Uncle Bob must have really unloaded... he must have got trigger happy with it." | Dax | | 22:39 | "There are sort of two modes I go into in drinking... everyone is my best friend... and then number two is… are we fucking?" | Sasha | | 25:24 | “She was riding Billy in the front seat of the foreign car.” | Sasha (quoting uncle) | | 28:16 | "That is as messy as it gets. I miss it." | Dax | | 46:15 | "We hope you enjoy your holidays, Armcherries. And keep your pepper spray stowed. Just keep it close by on the holiday 2025. Love you." | Dax (sign-off) | | 44:17 | "Well, you know what's funny is I'm Jewish. I'm like, I'm never celebrating Christmas again." | Aaron | | 44:26 | "This is why Hanukkah is eight nights. We spread out the good juju." | Aaron |

---

Important Timestamps

• Bella’s Pepper Spray Story: 03:00–10:32
• Sasha’s Holiday Hookup Disaster: 13:39–28:58
• Aaron & Brie’s Christmas Nightmares: 34:39–44:46

---

Episode Tone & Style

• Warm, irreverent, self-deprecating humor guides the episode.
• Listeners’ embarrassing moments are treated with both empathy and laughter.
• Real, relatable, and “messy” human stories are celebrated as essential to growth and community.
• Monica and Dax’s playful chemistry shines, making even the most cringeworthy tales feel like warm, communal experiences.

---

Final Thoughts

As always, “Holiday Nightmare III” delivers catharsis, commiseration, and plenty of laughs. The chaotic scenarios remind listeners that sometimes, the best holiday stories are the ones you never want to repeat—but will tell for years.

Transcript

[A]

Wondry plus subscribers can listen to Armchair Expert early and ad free right now. Join Wondry plus in the Wondry app or on Apple Podcasts or you can listen for free wherever you get your podcasts. Welcome, welcome, welcome to Armchair Anonymous. I'm Dan Shepard. And I'm George by Jodge Rajbaj.

[B]

It's me. Today we have Holiday nightmare part three.

[C]

Oh.

[D]

Oh.

[A]

See how I did both?

[C]

Yeah, that was cool.

[A]

Good mess, you guys. Happy holidays.

[B]

Happy holidays. They're. They're upon us and they're so fun.

[A]

Happy holidays.

[B]

Actually, this is the last. This is our last episode of the year. Our last new episode of the year. So we hope you enjoy it and you get in the spirit. What a year.

[A]

You're seven. Year seven. You're supposed to get itchy. But we didn't get itchy. Oh, then it works. You're not supposed to get Brad Pitt Year seven. You're supposed to get itchy and bored.

[B]

Oh, the seven year scratch.

[A]

The seven year itch.

[B]

Seven year itch.

[A]

Scratchy, scratchy. Please enjoy holiday nightmares part three. We are supported by Empower. See, you've always wanted to take that bucket list safari trip where you hop in a jeep at sunrise and cruise the Serengeti. Here's the thing. If you invest well, you could do things like that. With Empower, you can get your money working for you so you can go out and live a little. Isn't that why we work so hard to splurge at certain moments? Maybe it's those concert seats that don't require binoculars. Or taking that trip to Athens in Greece, not Georgia. No disrespect, money. So use Empower to help you get good at money so you can be a little bad. Join their 19 million customers [e-mail] not an Empower client, paid or sponsored. We are supported by Hill's Pet Nutrition. Something we celebrate here on Armchair Expert is that we all have juggles, struggles, faults and flaws because we're human. Those of us with pets know this all too well. We are their whole world. And that can be a lot of pressure. Things are just going to go wrong sometimes and we can only plan for so much pet. Parent guilt is unavoidable.

[B]

Yeah, like when you left one of your dogs when you went traveling, you probably had guilt.

[A]

I did. Whiskey wasn't fit to make the trip, but I was relieved that he's having such a great time with Peggy at home. But yeah, because you're only human. There's Hills. Science does more. Find the right food@hills pet.com. dax come and go Good times take them slow My life, I had them both One thing you got to know I'mma keep on shining.

[B]

Hi.

[D]

Hi, guys.

[A]

Can you hear us? Yes, I can.

[D]

Can you hear me?

[A]

Absolutely.

[B]

Your hair looks so pretty.

[A]

It feels like your hair is very on brand for someone named Bella.

[C]

That's really kind. Thank you. I had to blow it out for today. I went off my routine, but I was like, today's a big day.

[A]

What's your normal routine? Do we put it in braids the night before and hope for curls in the morn?

[C]

So my hair is naturally super curly, so I usually blow it out on Saturdays and then wash one time a week.

[B]

Same.

[A]

So, Bella, what's wrong with all of us? Because my children have pin straight hair and they braid it every night when it's wet so they'll have curls in the morning. And everyone with curls is trying to straighten their hair. What is wrong with us?

[B]

I know the grass is always greener. It really is.

[A]

It's always greener.

[B]

I've learned over time. I just air dry and I just go.

[A]

And you want your hair, right?

[B]

I'm happy with my hair.

[E]

Yeah, you should.

[B]

One of the only things I got. You gotta embrace what you got.

[A]

Hold on. I bet we could make a list.

[B]

Well, we are not doing that.

[A]

Bella, let's make a list. No way. Where are you?

[C]

So I am in New York City, but I'm originally from Texas, so that is where my story takes place.

[A]

Where in Texas?

[C]

It's a suburb outside of Dallas called Plano.

[D]

Oh, Plano.

[A]

Oh, I know Plano. Yeah. I went to either a Total Wine or a Sprouts on Aaron and I's bus tour in Plano.

[C]

I love sprouts.

[B]

My mom loves sprouts.

[A]

Okay, so tell us what year. And we're in Plano, Texas, for this story.

[D]

Yes.

[C]

This was about 12 years ago. I had to consult my mom for some details. But basically, my family is big on holidays. My mom loves to host. She is a great host. And she is one of seven kids. So each of her siblings married, they have kids, and then some of those kids have kids. So it's just a full, full house.

[A]

It was an explosion. And can we do some stereotypes now? I would like to play in stereotypes for one second. I think when people have a stereotype about Texas, I think what they're really thinking about is Dallas. And I think there is a fun stereotype about Dallas.

[B]

The higher the hair, the closer to God that vibe.

[A]

And a great host like, this all feels very in keeping.

[C]

My sister and I are both quite tall, and my mom without a doubt says to everyone, we grow them big in Texas. Like, there's just all the stereotypes.

[A]

American by birth, Texan by the grace of God.

[C]

Yeah. So they're super proud Texans, which is fun to have them visit me in New York City, but they love it. It was Christmas Day afternoon. We all finished eating. The guys are all watching football. My cousins and I are upstairs playing rock band.

[A]

How old are you? Thirteen years ago, I would have been 16.

[C]

Probably too old for rock band at that point, but family tradition. We hear this loud bang on the front door, and immediately following the bang comes the stray dog that runs right into our house. My family, we are not ones to remain calm. We are alarmists, and we overreact.

[A]

Okay, great.

[C]

Immediately, my mom is panicked. We have several elderly people, and my three uncles decide they're going to handle it.

[A]

Sure, that's their duty. They got the whole day off to watch football. They got to be lazy. But now there's someone who's protecting. So you're finally out. The Lions play every year on Christmas.

[C]

Somehow there's always a game on on holidays. So my uncles are trying to corral this dog out, and they finally get it to the front porch. And I guess the rationale is that they're nervous about the dog not leaving the property while people are trying to get to their car. I honestly can't explain why this next part happened, but Uncle Bob decides that he is going to pepper spray above the dog.

[A]

Above it. Above.

[B]

All right.

[C]

Humanely. Pepper spray.

[A]

And Uncle Bob has pepper spray at Christmas somehow, yes.

[C]

We're all very protected. You know, it's Texas. We're all a little on guard. He is gonna pepper spray above the dog. It'll smell it and run away.

[A]

Oh, this is an insane plant. As if he's tried this before.

[C]

And I wish somebody had consulted him. I wish he had thought it through.

[D]

A little bit more.

[C]

But he sprays the pepper spray, and immediately it blows right back into his face. He's on her front porch. He runs inside, leaving the door wide open. He's screaming, my eyes. My eyes. My mom is at the sink washing dishes. He pushes her out of the way, starts rinsing out his eyes. Well, immediately, all of the pepper spray blew back into our house. So now everyone can feel it. It is burning your eyes. It's burning your throat. Oh, my. One of our great ideas is, like, go upstairs and open up all the windows. Well, that created some Sort of suction effect and got it everywhere. So we are shuffling people out to.

[D]

The back of the.

[A]

Hold on. This is the stupidest event to have happened on Christmas. There's pepper spray in the house now.

[C]

Are all out in the backyard. Parents can't find their toddlers. Grandparents are coughing and wheezing. And then some of my cousins were pregnant. They're throwing up.

[B]

Oh, God.

[C]

And the dog is inside, happy, peacefully, running around still imperfectly.

[B]

The dog re entered pepper spray.

[C]

He's completely fine. Didn't feel a thing. Loving it. And so it was just a Christmas to remember. And eventually when everyone calmed down, they lured the dog out with some food, took it to a shelter. It was fin. But in the meantime, we're like, that was a fun time to be pepper sprayed by Uncle Bob at Christmas.

[A]

Uncle Bob must have really unloaded. Like he. What he promised was a little gentle spray above the head, but he must have got trigger happy with it.

[C]

It lasted for several days.

[D]

No.

[C]

So we could not get the smell out.

[A]

Where is Uncle Bob in the birth order? Is he the oldest?

[C]

He's actually my mom's oldest sister's husband.

[A]

Oh, shit. So he's not even by blood. So the rest of the dudes are like, oh. Everyone's like, why'd she marry Bob? We've been saying this since they met. Oh.

[B]

I mean, he thought he was taking control.

[A]

He's trying to help. This family's gonna be so grateful I joined it. Once I deal with this dog situation.

[B]

They'Re always thinking, I'm also the notion.

[A]

That we need to get out of the yard now. And then what? Get it out of the neighborhood. Where does it stop? Get it out of the house and shut the door. Maybe throw the deadbolt. Go back to the game, have a couple of lone stars and call it a Christmas.

[B]

Eventually that dog's gonna leave.

[A]

Yeah. He's going to go to someone else's house and try to get some of that holiday ham.

[D]

Yeah.

[C]

There were a lot of different options. Pepper spray should not have been on the roster.

[A]

Your tradition is. I'm going to ask everyone here. Ours was always Christmas Eve is when you'd get together with your family and then like, Christmas Day was just for your immediate family.

[B]

Oh, interesting.

[A]

You did Christmas Day. Mom would host.

[C]

We did My dad's family on Christmas Eve and then my mom's family on Christmas day. But I also have a couple sets of step parents, so I've got lots of questions.

[B]

You get to run around.

[A]

Hence the movie Four Christmases.

[E]

Yes.

[B]

Easter Egg, Easter egg. Although by this it will be out.

[A]

Okay. Spoiled egg, cracked egg, rotten egg. Bella, your family sounds fun. I kind of want to attend.

[C]

You would fit right in. They would be obsessed.

[A]

Well, Bella, delightful meeting you.

[C]

Thank you guys so much for having me. My roommate is right by me.

[D]

Can she say hi? Of course.

[A]

Absolutely. She's lurking behind you like a killer. Hi. Hi.

[C]

It's so nice to meet you guys.

[A]

Well, and what is your name?

[C]

My name is Emma.

[A]

Emma. We have an Emma in New York.

[B]

That's right.

[A]

And did y' all meet in Texas or in New York?

[C]

We actually met studying abroad together.

[B]

Where were you studying?

[C]

We were in Italy. So we were both teaching English over there. And then we were both teachers and now we both work in finance, which is hilarious.

[D]

I know.

[C]

No, just attached to the hip.

[A]

You're so lucky. Yeah. How we are.

[B]

I'm so jealous.

[A]

I'm jealous too. And it makes me mad. Aaron never had any of the same career aspirations as me. Like, if I could have done all that stuff with Aaron.

[B]

Yeah, but now you're doing Ted Seegers with Aaron.

[A]

Now we're retired together.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Yeah. All right, well, lovely meeting you gals.

[D]

Thank you guys so much.

[C]

Have a good rest of your day.

[A]

Okay, Take care. Doing these episodes makes me very excited for the holiday.

[B]

Me too.

[A]

What happens at the Padmans on Christmas? Christmas Day, Eve and day.

[B]

We don't have Eve traditions.

[A]

Lame.

[B]

Okay, but we're Indian, so the fact that we even do Christmas, that's a big deal.

[A]

Yeah, that's true.

[B]

They've gone out of their way, you.

[A]

Know, and if they come to love it, love it. Well, your mother grew up with it. Probably.

[B]

Well, I don't know when they started, but I think they have to did it. But then when.

[A]

When you arrived, of course they had.

[D]

To go full bore.

[A]

But did it infect him? And it can't be a hard holiday to start loving.

[B]

No, no. I think my mom likes it. I like it the most than the whole family.

[A]

More than Neil?

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

What's wrong with Neil?

[B]

Actually, we both had a conversation. No, but he was saying last year, the year before, he was like.

[D]

I.

[B]

Just like don't like Christmas as much as I used to. He was like sad by.

[A]

That's cause he's not a little boy.

[B]

I know. And I think he was sad about that.

[A]

Once he has kids, it'll get back. Well, how does he feel about Halloween? You must hate Halloween, because there's like, there's really nothing there for adults. Yeah.

[B]

Halloween's actually Great for adults because you go to parties and you like everyone.

[A]

Dresses sexy and gets drunk.

[B]

Drink stuff.

[A]

Hello. What fake name would you like?

[D]

Whatever you feel so inclined.

[A]

Sasha.

[D]

Wow. Okay, great. Is this real?

[A]

No, it is not. It is not. Someone's gonna shake you awake and they're gonna go, sasha, you've peed your pants.

[D]

That feels a lot more likely and realistic than if you wake up and.

[B]

You'Ve peed your pants. You might had a seizure. So I would go to the doctor. This is a cautionary tale. Okay? Go to the doctor and have it checked out.

[A]

Go to the doctor. Even go. Maybe go before.

[B]

Go before you pee.

[D]

Should I go right now?

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

You say, my friend Monica is pretty concerned I have epilepsy based on the fact that I thought that this conversation we had might be a dream.

[B]

That's right.

[A]

Where are you?

[D]

I knew you were gonna ask that question. And so to answer it, I wore this for Monica. I don't know if she can see, but I just wanted to say, go Vols. And I've been dying to say that.

[A]

What are the volumes?

[B]

Tennessee.

[D]

So, Dax, I am also deeply, spiritually offended every time you say Roll Tide.

[A]

Oh, yeah.

[B]

I mean, we can agree on that.

[A]

Well, let's all agree that I'm making very few friends, because that's only like, I don't know what percentage of all colleges that exist. So I'm like, alienating everyone. But the reason I think no one should be offended is I didn't even go there. And I actually don't care if they win or lose.

[B]

That's why we're offended.

[D]

We care so much.

[B]

Yeah, it's like you don't even know and you're just throwing out these horrible, horrible remarks.

[A]

Okay, We are supported by JCPenney.

[B]

Okay, so I just ordered these king size pillows from JCPenney, which were so hard to find. I was looking at a lot of places and JCPenney had them. And when they arrived, I was like, wait, these feelings. Really luxe and expensive. Way more than what I paid.

[A]

Well, that's the thing about JCPenney right now. They're a one stop shop for incredible gifts. You can grab something last minute, like even on December 22, and it still looks like you've been planning for months. You know, I just bought a bunch of stockings for Nashville from JCPenney and an adorable Christmasy placemat with a fire engine on it and some nutcrackery. Guys, creatures. There's like all kinds of fun Christmas stuff.

[B]

Oh, I love that.

[A]

Whether it's beauty Sets, home decor, jewelry, or fashion for the whole family. Everything has that elevated I definitely splurged vibe.

[B]

Even when you didn't, it's what they thought that counts.

[A]

And honestly, nobody needs to know you grabbed it at the 11th hour shop. JCP.com yes, JCPenney. We are supported by Allstate. You know what's smart? Checking Allstate first for a quote that could save you hundreds on car insurance. You know what's not smart? Not checking your phone's volume before blasting your morning pump up playlist in the office break room. Or not checking that your laptop camera's off before joining the meeting in your robe or something I'm a little too familiar with not checking your grocery list before heading to the store and realizing you bought everything except what you needed. Yeah, checking first is smart. So check Allstate first for a quote that could save you hundreds. You're in good hands with Allstate. Potential savings vary subject to terms, condition and availability. Allstate North American Insurance Company and affiliates, Northbrook, Illinois. We are supported by quints. So I'm standing in my closet the other day and I realize I'm reaching for the same three things over and over again. And they're all coming from quints. Which got me thinking, when did I become that guy who actually cares about where his clothes come from? I'll tell you when. When I discovered quints.

[B]

Exactly. I was at a happy hour a couple days ago with a very cool woman named Margot. Very chic. And I was like, ooh, I love your pants. I love your sweater. And she said, quints.

[A]

Boom.

[B]

And I was like, I should have.

[A]

Known, should have known. Turns out Quince cracked the code on something I didn't even know was broken. They partner directly with these ethical factories, cut out the middlemen. So you get the same Mongolian cashmere that cost 200 bucks elsewhere. 450, same quality, none of the markup. Perfect timing too, because holiday shopping is coming and I actually have good answers for once. Not just clothes either. They've got home stuff, travel gear, all of it, give and get. Timeless holiday staples that last this season with quince. Go to quince.comdax for free shipping on your order and 365 day returns. Now available in Canada too. That's Q-U-I-N c e.comdax free shipping and 365 day returns. Quince.comdax we are supported by t mobile 5G home Internet. Like everyone, home Internet is our life. And there's nothing worse than when it Slows down.

[B]

Oh, I know. Especially when you're doing something important like editing this show.

[A]

Well, actually, there's one worse thing. Waiting around all day for the cable guy to show up to install it.

[B]

I want those five hours back.

[A]

Fortunately, T Mobile's got home Internet. They have fast speeds and it sets up easily in 15 minutes with just one cord.

[B]

Anyone can do it, even me.

[A]

Hey, we were first in on T Mobile's home Internet. We were using it up in the attic.

[B]

Yeah. If you recall, it powers this very show.

[A]

Yes. It's so reliable. And when you've got a podcast full of valuable insights about human nature and poop jokes, you need that.

[B]

We all need that.

[A]

Oh, and the low price is guaranteed for 5 years.

[B]

5 years. Gotta respect to LTR guarantees monthly price.

[A]

Of fixed wireless 5G Internet data exclusions like taxes and fees applies. Service delivered via 5G network speeds vary due to factor affecting cellular networks. Check availability and guarantee exclusions and [e-mail].

[D]

The overtime. Did you watch? Is a few weeks ago.

[B]

I didn't watch, but I did hear it was insane.

[A]

Who won? Who won?

[D]

Georgia in overtime.

[B]

And it was like, barely.

[A]

The Vols. University of Tennessee.

[B]

Yes.

[A]

Okay. I watched a couple games. I guess I didn't realize they were the Vols, but now that I'm a Nashville native, I did watch volunteers. Because that's the state motto. That's right. The Volunteer Volunteer State.

[D]

Second to that, My last sort of regional reference was. I was just listening earlier this week, and I could not believe I heard you say that Dollywood is your new favorite theme park.

[A]

Absolutely.

[D]

Have you been 1,068 billion times.

[A]

What could possibly be your issue with Dollywood?

[D]

I mean, banjos, Southern tourists that are upset. I just. I don't.

[A]

You don't like the vibe?

[D]

No.

[A]

Let me ask you this. Do you like the Smoky Mountains? Do you think they're pretty?

[D]

I do think they're pretty.

[A]

The food's the best food I've ever had.

[B]

An amusement park in an amusement park. So you know.

[A]

Amusement park. Yeah.

[B]

Were you just upset that he was so quick to give up on his lifelong.

[D]

Yes.

[A]

This comes up a lot. I will not prioritize loyalty over the truth.

[D]

I'm loyal to a fault, even at.

[A]

The expense of the truth.

[B]

You are that for some things, like if your kids are doing something, if they're going to kill someone, you're loyal to them.

[A]

My kids? Yeah.

[B]

And that you should treat amusement parks the same.

[A]

I should treat amusement parks with the same respect. Okay. I'll have to think on that one.

[B]

Okay.

[A]

But anyways, bottomless pot roast and bottomless fried chicken. That's actually delicious fried chicken.

[D]

What about the cinnamon bread? That's the Dollywood claim to fame. Have you had or your gluten.

[A]

I can't fuck with it, right? I didn't even have that and I still loved it. But here's my question to you, is like, if you don't hate the Smoky Mountains and you don't hate beautiful wooden roller coasters that are world class and some of the biggest on the planet.

[B]

You know, what's your favorite amusement?

[A]

Yeah. How about that? Let's start there.

[B]

Six Flags Over Georgia.

[D]

I do love that one. Yeah.

[B]

Hell yeah.

[A]

You know what?

[B]

Hey, Sasha, hook them.

[A]

Okay? That's the real ut. Hook them.

[B]

You're not allowed to say that you have a house.

[A]

I'm just making enemies everywhere I can. Okay, so you have a holiday night.

[B]

Let's get into your store.

[D]

This takes place 2013, 14. So I am 19, 2021. New boyfriend. Timeline is a little iffy on some of these details, but we might have even been engaged. We went from dating to engaged in like three months.

[A]

At 19.

[D]

I mean, I'm from Tennessee, dad.

[A]

Yeah, yeah. But I will say it does call into question your overall judgment when it comes to Dollywood. No, I'm just saying that has nothing.

[B]

To do with that. That has nothing to do with your Dollywood opinion? No, no.

[D]

Not relevant at all.

[C]

Disagree.

[A]

Okay, so you're 19 and you're engaged.

[D]

That's the reason I'm also using a fake name is because as this story develops, these details would not fare well with the Southern crowd. But either way, at new partner's family's house, it was Christmas. They are just a fun crowd. Very opposite of how I grew up. Conservative. No one drank. No one cursed.

[A]

Your family or his?

[D]

Mine. I could not say fart growing up.

[B]

Oh, sure.

[A]

I see why you don't like Dolly.

[B]

That's very Southern.

[A]

I get it.

[B]

Did you have to say toot flatulence?

[A]

No. Did someone flatulence?

[D]

And if we did, even on accident or a burp, My dad was. Did you just do that? I mean, he was so upset.

[A]

So his family's a good time.

[D]

They are the best time. Everything is alcohol, everything is big parties, doesn't matter the occasion. I was a little nervous trying to be cool and fit into this new family and hope they like me and all those sort of things, but we get inside, drinks start flowing pretty quickly. I partake, as does he. His family Also, fun. Details to note is huge on spades.

[A]

Oh, I like them already.

[B]

I like that.

[D]

Yes. They're teaching me how to play spades.

[A]

It's a hard game to learn, too.

[D]

And getting in and learning while drinking.

[A]

Yes. At 19. Yeah. Yeah.

[D]

I don't know about y', all, but there are sort of two modes I go into in drinking. Number one is everyone is my best friend. I love you so much. Here's my whole life story. What's your aces score? You know, here we go. And then number two is. Are we fucking?

[A]

Okay.

[B]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[A]

Okay. Yeah. It's wonderful.

[B]

Those are adjacent. Really friendly.

[E]

Yeah.

[D]

So we're both drinking. We kind of give each other, you know, like, a look. And so I don't know why, but we say, okay, we'll go to the car. We go outside.

[A]

Is it light or dark out?

[D]

Dark. His car is the first one parked in the driveway to the side of the house. Like, almost nose touching the side of the house. Just fun detail. It was a Volkswagen Rabbit. We get into the car, he gets in the driver's seat, you know, you mount him. Correct.

[A]

Are you wearing a dress or do you gotta remove pants?

[D]

I knew you were gonna ask me, and I was gonna give you a disclaimer that I'm not gonna have all answers to all the details.

[A]

Okay, sure, sure.

[D]

Combination of time that has passed and intoxication level. I don't remember. I couldn't tell you to save my life.

[A]

If you get caught. Pulling a skirt down is a lot easier than. Where are my pants? They were inside out because I was in a hurry.

[D]

You could have told me it was two minutes or it was 25. I have no recollection of how long we're going about this good time. Next thing I know, motion light comes on and he just yeets me off of him. I mean, like, pushes me off and gets out of the car in, like, 0.2 seconds flat.

[A]

Chucks you into the passenger seat. And he's exiting the vehicle.

[D]

Yes, he's exited the vehicle.

[A]

He is erect. He either had to pull his pants up with an erection, which is rough, or he's just out there with an erection.

[D]

Two things probably were in his favor. The shock, being scared, and then also, it was so cold outside. Maybe that was helpful.

[A]

All right.

[D]

My left foot, like, my ankle had somehow gotten stuck under the emergency brake that was down.

[B]

Oh, yeah.

[D]

So when he pushes me off the top half, like, torso up, tries to follow the momentum and twists over into the seat, but the ankle and the foot is not going. It's 100% stuck. So the next thing I know that I do also remember pretty clearly is just like screaming out in pain. That hurts. So I mean, it twisted my ankle all the way around. He is 6 2, 2, 50, I'm 5 1. I'm just like screaming. And then his uncle is like, is that you? And like is coming over. That's who set the motion light off. His uncle had come outside. And his uncle carries me like this inside.

[A]

Okay. You have your arms out as if you're a baby. Yeah.

[B]

Cradle or you.

[A]

It's like you carry a 50 pound bag of dog food.

[D]

Yes, he carries me inside because I cannot walk on that ankle, on that foot at all. I mean, it is so down for the count. And I remember him carrying me into the house, sitting me down on the couch. I'm still crying. Everyone has now come to the living room. Luckily, his mom and his aunt are nurses, so they come and they help and put some ice.

[A]

And does anyone ask you how you've hurt your ankle?

[D]

Yes. And uncle sells me out in two seconds to the whole crowd.

[A]

She was riding Billy in the front seat of the foreign car.

[D]

Yes, he does that to me. My 19 year old Southern. I mean, I'm mortified, but they love it.

[A]

This is exactly what 19 year olds should be doing at Christmas. And they know it.

[D]

Yeah, they're the one giving me drinks and making me lemon drops.

[A]

Teaching you spades, I mean, they're getting you ready for a life of good times.

[B]

I wonder if they're like, I just hope they use protection.

[A]

They're not even worried.

[D]

That kind of calms down, settles down. They laugh, they think it's awesome. I decide at some point to rejoin the spades table. I'm very, very drunk. And I remember clear as day, I have my cards, they've dealt me my hand and I turn to his aunt and I say, am I the red team or the black team?

[A]

Oh, shit.

[B]

All right, for the listener. That's not how you play it.

[A]

It's nothing, absolutely nothing to do with the game.

[D]

Not at all, not at all. And so, yes, again, his mom, who was a nurse, had crutches already at the house. She wrapped it, gave me crutches. I was grateful to avoid an embarrassing doctor urgent care trip. And the funniest part too is that I think that was a Saturday. The next day, my dad had invited us, myself, boyfriend, I think his mom and sister to like the Christmas play at our church.

[A]

Oh boy.

[D]

I get to hobble into church with my Sex injury.

[A]

And they're all hungover and they're like, oh, this.

[D]

And I don't remember what I told dad, but it definitely wasn't I was banging in the driveway at the Christmas party.

[B]

Good thing the uncle wasn't invited.

[A]

Oh, cuz he would have blasted you. Yeah. Oh, you should have seen her.

[B]

I saw everything.

[A]

They were in a rabbit. But there was only one rabbit in that vehicle. It was your daughter.

[B]

What happened? Did you confront the boyfriend? Like, where'd you go?

[A]

Did he ever resurface? Did we ever see him again? When did he resurface?

[D]

Inside is when I remember him coming back into the memory. In the picture, he's playing spades. He's in the party.

[A]

Yeah. That's the only thing track about this story is that Billy's from this family. Why is he like, if that scenario happened at my house, I wouldn't have cared at all because my mom didn't care. I'm from that family, so I wouldn't ran.

[B]

He got spooked.

[D]

He has another uncle who honestly, like if he would have come out, they probably would have like fist bumped or something. This was not that uncle. He was still very cool about it and funny and wonderful, but not as close. So honestly, I don't even fault him. I was probably so fight or flight.

[A]

He thought, I'm gonna disappear. My uncle's gonna think she's in the car by herself. I'm gonna re enter the back of the house and pretend that she was.

[B]

Just out there in the car checking tiff her wall.

[A]

That's what happened.

[B]

Yeah. I just wish she hadn't chucked her across the car, you know?

[D]

Yeah, I wish.

[A]

Desperate measures. He wasn't abusive though, right?

[B]

No.

[D]

Oh no.

[B]

No one thinks. No one thinks.

[A]

Sweet big boy.

[D]

Yes, yes, yes.

[B]

You still got to be careful.

[D]

I think fight or flight. Your amygdala is firing. I don't know.

[A]

A lot of the blood is not even in the brain at that point.

[D]

That's exactly right.

[A]

I love this story. It's as messy as it gets. I miss it. I'm having like a little bit of sadness. Yes. Those were fun times. That reminds me of like holidays at Aaron's aunt's house. It was just a mess. It was so fun. Cards and drinking and smoking always.

[D]

There was one Christmas party, same family, same host. We made matching outfits and I made his shirt and it said, do you want to ride my sleigh tonight? And we put antlers in a red nose where the belt would go of his outfit, you know. We're fun.

[A]

Yeah. It's the kind of family where there's a fire. About every third Christmas party, there's a fire at some point in the house.

[D]

An injury. A fire. Yeah, 100%.

[B]

That is fun.

[A]

Well, Sasha, this was a party.

[B]

Thank you.

[A]

Yeah, it was a really good time.

[D]

Shout out to Olivia. We saw you twice in Chicago together.

[A]

You did?

[D]

Said boyfriend, husband was in the military, so we were stationed in Chicago when you all were there.

[A]

The Christmas show. Right.

[B]

And my parents were there.

[A]

Yes. The Padmans were in attendance.

[B]

Yeah, they were there for that one.

[D]

This is how you know that we are next level obsessed. She's the only person I told about this because I was convinced when I got the email from Emma. I'm like, this is spam. This is a scam.

[A]

This is fake. Someone's gonna ask you for $11 or something.

[D]

Yes. And so I only told her. I said it was today. She texted me this morning and she said, this is the day our lives change forever.

[B]

That's so sweet.

[A]

Well, enjoy your new lives, ladies. I hope they find their way back to a late model rabbit in the parking lot on Christmas Day, because don't let go of those times too quickly.

[B]

Yeah, they're fun.

[D]

Thank you all so much. This was the time of my life.

[A]

Lovely meeting you.

[D]

You too.

[A]

We are supported by Audible. You know, I spend a lot of time listening. It's literally my job. But when I'm not recording the show, I'm constantly consuming audio content. And honestly, I can get pretty overwhelmed by all the choices out there. That's why I love when Audible drops their Best of the year collection. Audible's most anticipated collection, the best of 2025, is here. And let me tell you, these editors know what they're doing. They've spent count countless hours listening, having heated debates. Probably way more heated than Monica and I get, although that's hard to imagine. And they have handpicked this year's must listens. What I really appreciate is that they don't just go for the obvious picks. They found hidden gems alongside the buzziest new releases. Whether you're into true crime like Monica, historical biographies like me, or something completely different, this collection has your back. I've already started diving into their selection, and honestly, it's like having a really smart, smart friend curate your entire listening experience. Want to finish the year with a sure thing? Check out audible's best of 2025 and discover why there's more to imagine when you listen. Listen now. Go to audible.com BestOfTheYear this show is sponsored by BetterHelp. The holidays are all about traditions, right? Some we inherit, others we create ourselves. And honestly, I've been thinking about what new traditions might actually serve us. Here's one I didn't see coming. Therapy as a holiday tradition. I know, I know. But hear me out. December can be intense. Family dynamics. Year end pressure. All the reflection on what went right or wrong. What if instead of just surviving the season, we used it to actually understand ourselves better? We have talked numerous times about how the holiday season can be a activating event. Yeah, you're with your family.

[B]

Exactly. Family dynamics. Also pressure. Moms have pressure. Dads have pressure for these children. Presents. I have pressure for my gift guide.

[A]

Better help makes it simple to start. They've got over 30,000 licensed therapists who follow a strict code of conduct. And their matching system actually works. We're talking 4.9 out of 5 stars from over 1.7 million reviews. They've helped more than 5 million people globally figure things out. This December. Start a new tradition by taking care of you. Armchairies get 10% [e-mail] Dax that's betterhelp.com Dax this message is brought to you by Apple Card. Apple Card members can earn unlimited daily cash back on everyday purchases wherever they shop. This means you could be earning daily cash on just about anything. Like a slice of pizza from your local pizza place or a latte from the corner coffee shop. Apply for Apple Card in the Wallet app to see your credit limit offer in minutes. Subject to credit approval. Apple Card issued by Goldman Sachs Bank USA Salt Lake City Branch terms and more at applecard.com.

[B]

Remember when a couple episodes ago, when we thought that girl was telling us that her grandma died? I laughed last night thinking about it.

[A]

Oh, so good.

[B]

I like pop back.

[A]

Your grandmother didn't make it.

[E]

Hi.

[B]

Hi.

[A]

Now listen, you're big. A little Aron.

[E]

No.

[B]

Okay, so a Aron is running incredibly late from work. I'm his wife, Brie.

[A]

Oh. Yeah.

[B]

So he's really sad. But he's in the car right now.

[A]

Okay. Tell him not to crash on the way home.

[B]

Yeah, he's on 85 coming in from Atlanta.

[A]

Oh, good luck.

[B]

And it's Friday.

[D]

You understand.

[A]

No, we were not gonna talk to.

[B]

Him until 7pm Seriously, last time I got home Friday.

[A]

I know it made you not hours.

[B]

I was like, I'm not going home ever again.

[A]

It's what stopped you from calling Atlanta home and started calling la. That was the exact moment where you said LA and you Know how fucking shitty your traffic is if LA's traffic is preferable. I know, it's shameful. All right, so Rob will do some magic and we'll communicate.

[E]

I'm gonna put you back in the waiting room.

[D]

Sounds good.

[B]

Oh my God, he'll be so happy. Thank you guys so much.

[D]

Oh, and I got to meet you guys.

[B]

Bye.

[D]

How fun.

[B]

And Aaron and a Bree. That's real.

[A]

That was the last episode of Mom's Car. Aaron and Brie.

[B]

Exactly.

[A]

Fucking SIM is lazy. You didn't really have those Christmas parties, did you? Yeah, messy.

[B]

Not at my parents.

[A]

Not at people's parents house.

[B]

Yeah, not Christmas, I guess.

[A]

Yeah, it's a sacred holiday, even for the Indians. Looks like Aaron's back if we want.

[F]

To take it out.

[A]

Okay, now I get to say it. What's your stress level, Aaron? What's your heart rate right now?

[E]

I went through probably all the stages of grief within the last probably like hour and a half. I don't know, I was like, oh, it's probably not going to happen, but you got to meet my better half.

[B]

Oh, we did. She was lovely.

[A]

I don't bump into many guys who had a Bri in their life.

[B]

I know a Bri and an Aaron.

[A]

A Brie and Aaron.

[B]

It's so weird.

[A]

Aaron's never heard the show. Bri made him submit. I just figured that out. Just right now.

[B]

That's fine.

[A]

No, no. He didn't know who Aaron or Brie was.

[B]

Were you working downtown in a hospital?

[E]

I was not downtown. Not far from downtown, but I'm a dentist. Work for a nonprofit dental clinic in Shambly, Georgia.

[A]

Oh yeah, you know, shamble. Yeah.

[E]

I drive past Duluth.

[B]

Do you wave to my parents?

[E]

I wave at the exit. You know, we do all the ceremonial. Yeah, exactly.

[A]

Okay, so you can answer a question and this came up on a previous interview today. What percentage of your current clients are the result of bird or lime scooters?

[E]

Personally? Not very many. Mostly because of their income status. They're walking, they're taking public transportation most of the time. But I do have a friend that works in private practice and I don't know percentage, but I would say it's getting up there.

[A]

My theory was that pickleball and electric scooters have probably been the backbone of medicine over the last six years. Financially.

[E]

Oh, thousand percent. And if you work in a college town like in Athens, I used to work for a dentist there. Always seeing 19 to 22 year olds coming in with chipped front teeth. Typically because you're in A bar maybe someone bumps into you while you're having a beverage. A glass bottle typically beats out enamel most days of the week.

[B]

I think I've had a couple people.

[A]

Break some teeth drinking Athens.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

So many ways you can get hurt drinking. I know it's not just the cirrhosis. There's a lot on the menu.

[E]

Take your pick.

[A]

STDs. I mean those are very related.

[B]

Sure. You cannot get them in a lazy river.

[A]

No. Or a hot tub.

[B]

We don't know about the hot tub.

[A]

I didn't listen to cbd.

[B]

Did you go to Georgia?

[E]

I did, yeah. That's Brie and I have actually met there so go dogs.

[A]

What years were you guys there? The same. How old are you?

[E]

I'm 32.

[A]

So Monica already had mothballs by the.

[E]

Time you Texas UGA is coming up in a couple weeks so you never.

[D]

Know who you gonna really?

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Oh go to hell.

[A]

Roll hook em.

[E]

Maybe you can be Monica's guest in the box.

[B]

That's right.

[A]

I do that. I show up in a bunch of UT gear, have to fight nine guys. But you showed up in UG gear.

[B]

UG A.

[A]

Well you got the drift. God.

[B]

Oh wow.

[A]

Okay. So you have a holiday nightmare story Aaron.

[E]

Yeah. So Brand is from Maryland. We just had a baby in in August of 2023.

[A]

Congrats.

[E]

That December we were headed up driving to Maryland to do baby's first holiday season with her family. The only people at that time that had met the baby were her mom flew down everyone else was waiting for us to come up there to meet her. So we get up to Maryland, we drive there. No issues. It's Christmas Eve. We're on our way from our hotel to my in law's house and going probably 77.5miles an hour on the highway. About a quarter mile from our exit I get over into the right lane and going and then all of a sudden big boom. Feel like I got punched in the chest. Brianna is immediately freaking out. Baby I think was asleep and is now hysterically crying for whatever reason. I was pretty calm. I think it's when they say like one emotion can only be handled whatever percentage by each person. So I think she had had 110% of the panic.

[A]

I'm learning now this is a Georgia theory. This is Monica's theory.

[B]

It's not my theory. We learned it here and I just thought it was correct.

[A]

You should have been in my house. There's 600% rage happening from 10 people.

[E]

You should have seen me in the car earlier I pull over into the emergency lane. I look behind us, and this old red Lincoln is slowly pulling up behind us. I tell Brandon, make sure the baby's okay. I'm okay. Get out, Go. And I walk up to the driver's side window, and it's an older guy, probably late 60s, early 70s. Super apologetic. He's like, I'm so sorry. I think I fell asleep.

[A]

Okay, so he rear ended you?

[E]

He rear ended us. I look at the damage, not as bad as you would think, but I think that's because we were moving together. Yeah, if we were at a standstill, I'd probably be in the neck brace still. But our trunk was kind of pushed in. Trunk wouldn't open, so some latch was bent there.

[A]

Your car or a rental?

[E]

Our car. So front end of his car, you know, it's a Lincoln. Not too bad. We exchange information. Police and EMS end up coming just to check everyone out. We all end up being fine, and so we end up going on our way. We get to the house, do dinner, and that was the end of the night. So luckily, everyone was. Was okay. Car was still drivable. The next day, Christmas morning, we wake up, we pull baby into bed, and Brianna, pretty immediately is like, something's not right.

[B]

Okay.

[E]

She feels hot to me. I feel her. I'm like, I mean, she's warm, but who isn't a little warm after they wake up? You know, she's all swaddled up.

[B]

Santa came.

[E]

Yeah, exactly. Maybe she's just excited. Bran's like, no, we need to take her temperature. So we go. We're looking for the thermometer. One thing we didn't bring with us, I'm like, okay, what's open on Christmas morning? Thankfully, CVS is. So I go to cvs, get a thermometer, come back. We go to take her temperature, and it slowly, it starts climbing. It's gone, you know, 100, 101, 102 hits 104. And at that point, it's still good. It's still going up. We pull it out. Every baby manual tells you, like, 104.

[A]

Let's go. Time.

[E]

Yeah. So we're like, okay, emergency room. So on. On Christmas morning, we head over to the emergency room. There's maybe two or three other people there. So we're just kind of waiting to be seen. Nurse brings us back. They take her temperature. They're like, yeah, she's got a fever. Then they do a flu and COVID test on her. She comes back negative for flu, but she is positive for Covid.

[A]

Wow. Wow. Unconventional.

[E]

And if you're wondering, they test babies for Covid the same way that they test big adults.

[A]

12 foot nasal swab.

[E]

Yeah. I felt bad for everyone in the situation. I felt bad for the nurse having to do it. I felt bad for our daughter.

[A]

How old was she at this point?

[E]

She was almost four months. The nurse says, really? I mean, there's nothing we can do. You take Tylenol to control her fever. And they're like, actually, infants tend to do really well with COVID Surprisingly, I wasn't expecting that. So we get in the car, we go back to our Homewood Suites room, and we call her family. And we're like, we're gonna be holding down the fort here this Christmas. So they ended up coming doing like one of those drive bys, kind of like in retro Covid fash, where everyone was kind of waving for graduations and things like that and put some gifts on the sidewalk. The next day we get a call from Brianna's mom and she's like, hey, so yesterday I wasn't really feeling that great. This morning I was feeling even worse. So I took a COVID test and I'm positive for Covid. So at this point, we've been exposed. Brian and I have been exposed to Covid. Our daughter has Covid. My mother in law has Covid. Everyone that lives in that house has been exposed to Covid.

[A]

You're getting Covid?

[B]

Yeah, yeah. It's time, it's time to reconvene.

[E]

We called our pediatrician and we're like, this is an immoral for us to like go like hang out with family. And she's like, honestly, it's your call. You do what's in your best interest. And so we're like, okay, fuck it. It's our last day here in Maryland. We're going to go spend time with family. We went. That was the end of the trip. We get back to Atlanta. No one else ended up getting Covid. Just my daughter. Just my mother in law.

[A]

Christmas miracle.

[E]

Yeah, exactly. So a little bonus there. So I wish the story ended there, but there one more cherry on top. I had given my car to the collision center to get fixed. I was given a rental car. This was probably about a month after the incident. And I'm coming home from work in the rental car. I'm pulling out your neighborhood. It's dark in front of me. I see a deer run across the road. And so I slow down because typically if one deer comes across, you know someone else is coming right behind it no deer. So I slowly start going and boom. Loud thud in the passenger side.

[B]

Oh, no.

[E]

I stop, and I still think I have, like, PTSD from when the guy hit us from behind because I was, like, really kind of shook.

[A]

Yeah. You know, why does this keep happening?

[E]

I was like, there's no way.

[A]

Leave me alone.

[E]

I get out, the deer's gone, but has left a nice dent and some fur and a little bit of blood on the door. I sent Emma some pictures.

[A]

Oh, sure. Oh, wow. And what's interesting is the blood is quite a distance from the dent.

[E]

It must have hit and slid.

[A]

Yeah. Or it squirted to get a spatter analysis in here.

[B]

That's a substantial dent.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

I pissed.

[E]

I thought I was going to get out of this car accident scot free without having to pay any money. I end up having to pay 500 bucks to get the rental fixed.

[B]

Oh, that's so annoying. Were you just like, I need this Christmas to be over?

[E]

Yeah. Well, you know what's funny is I'm Jewish. I'm like, I'm never celebrating Christmas again.

[A]

This is why we don't celebrate Christmas.

[E]

Exactly. Why Hanukkah is eight nights. We spread out the good juju.

[A]

Real modest each night. Very subtle, small gift.

[E]

We don't want to blow it all on the first night.

[A]

Well, Aaron is delightful to meet you.

[E]

Yeah. Thank you for. Thanks for waiting for me.

[A]

Of course. I'm glad you didn't get too stressed out. And I'm glad you didn't get another car.

[E]

I know. I was like, I'm gonna drive as safely as possible, so I don't have.

[A]

Another story, to be honest, because, you know, I live for stories at any cost. I'd be like, God, I hope I get rear ended because what a n. Not for this story is that I even got rear ended on the way to tell the story about getting rear ended.

[E]

Well, some of the traffic was. Cause I looked. There was a brush fire on the side of the road. And it's like Georgia's not typically known for brush fires.

[B]

God, I hope it doesn't take out the whole city like it did here.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

It was nice to meet you.

[A]

Yeah. Go Dogs.

[E]

I was afraid you were going to use that other phrase that, you know, that irritates us.

[A]

I proposed to Monica because I think I just like saying roll so much. What if I said rol dogs and she's. Nothing will satisfy her other than go dogs.

[B]

Crescent rolls.

[A]

Okay, what about what rhymes with tide?

[B]

No, I don't.

[E]

Okay, okay, okay, okay.

[A]

We won't ensnare you in this.

[E]

Thank you for keeping me company on my drives. Up and down I85. So you're a big part of my life, so I appreciate it.

[A]

Our pleasure. So nice having you. You're our kind of armchair.

[B]

That's right.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

We like you.

[E]

I'm one of the few husbands that pulled their wives into the folds.

[A]

Yeah. Look at that.

[B]

Love that.

[A]

All right, well, be well, brother. Great.

[E]

Awesome. I appreciate it. Thanks, y'.

[A]

All. All right, take care.

[B]

Well, that was great.

[A]

Yeah. Makes you want to not have holiday.

[B]

No, I always want to have a holiday.

[A]

I want to have a holiday, too.

[B]

We hope you enjoy your holidays. Arm cherries.

[A]

And keep your pepper spray stowed. Just keep it close by on the holiday 2025. Love you.

[B]

Love you.

[F]

Do you want to sing a tune or something?

[E]

One of a theme song.

[A]

Oh, okay, great. We don't have a theme song for this new show, so here I go. Go, go. We're gonna ask some random questions and with the help of armchairs, we'll get some suggestions on the fly rhyme dish. On the fly rhyme dish. Enjoy. Follow Armchair Expert on the Wondry app, Amazon Music or wherever you get your podcast. You can listen to every episode of Armchair Expert early and ad free right now by joining Wondry plus in the Wondry app or on Apple podcasts. Before you go, tell us about yourself by completing a short [e-mail] survey.

[F]

Hey, basketball fans. Steve Nash here. Ready to elevate your basketball IQ? I'm teaming up with LeBron James to bring you the latest season of Mind the Game. And we're about to take you deep, deeper into basketball than you've ever gone before. We're breaking down the real game, the X's and O's that actually matter. In every episode, we'll share elite level strategy, dive into career defining moments and explain the why behind plays that changed a game, a team, or a championship. LeBron and I have lived this game at the highest level for decades. We've been in those pressure moments and made those game changing decisions and learned from the greatest basketball minds in history. Now we're pulling back the curtain and sharing that knowledge with you. Time to go beyond the highlights and get into the real heart of basketball. Watch Mind the game now on YouTube, Prime Video or listen wherever you get your podcasts.