Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard

Episode: Armchair Anonymous: Holiday Nightmare III

Release Date: December 19, 2025
Host: Dax Shepard
Co-Host: Monica Padman

Episode Overview

The annual “Holiday Nightmare” episode returns for its third installment, as Dax Shepard and Monica Padman invite listeners to anonymously share their wild, mortifying, or disastrous holiday stories. This year, the stories cover everything from chaotic Christmas family gatherings, pepper spray mishaps, holiday sex injuries, car accidents, and COVID-riddled Christmases. Each story is told with the lighthearted humor, empathy, and playful banter that have become the show's trademark—a reminder that holiday chaos is often a universal experience.

Key Discussion Points & Notable Stories

1. The Pepper Spray Christmas in Plano, Texas

Guest: Bella
Timestamp: 03:00–10:32

• Family Background:

  • Bella’s family are proud Texans. Her mom is one of seven siblings, meaning their home over the holidays is always filled to the brim with extended family.
  • They fully embrace Texan and Dallas stereotypes (“The higher the hair, the closer to God.” —Monica, 05:04).

• The Incident:

  • On Christmas day, after lunch while the men watch football and the cousins play Rock Band, a stray dog suddenly bursts into their house.
  • The uncles spring into action (“That’s their duty.” —Dax, 06:15), and Uncle Bob decides to use pepper spray to chase the dog away, aiming “above” its head for “humane” reasons.
  • The plan fails spectacularly: the wind blows all the pepper spray back into the house, affecting elderly relatives, pregnant cousins, and toddlers. The dog, curiously, is unaffected and happily running around.
  • The pepper spray odor lingers for days.
  • The family tradition of hosting on Christmas is now forever marked by this “holiday nightmare.”

• Memorable Moments:

  • “Uncle Bob must have really unloaded. What he promised was a little gentle spray above the head, but he must have got trigger happy with it.” —Dax, 08:41
  • “Pepper spray should not have been on the roster.” —Bella, 09:40

2. Tennessee Holiday Hookup Gone Wrong

Guest: “Sasha” (pseudonym)
Timestamp: 13:39–28:58

• Background:

  • “Sasha” is at her new boyfriend’s family Christmas. She comes from a conservative Southern family (“I could not say fart growing up.” —Sasha, 21:38), while his is rowdy, fun, and drinks and plays cards.

• The Incident:

  • After some drinking and learning to play Spades, she and her boyfriend sneak out to “the car” for a make-out (and more) session.
  • The motion light turns on; startled, her boyfriend, in a panic, shoves her off his lap and bolts, leaving her to get her ankle twisted and stuck under the emergency brake.
  • His uncle discovers them; she is carried inside (bridal-style) and her accident—and what caused it—are quickly revealed to the entire family.
  • Despite the initial embarrassment, the family finds the episode hilarious. His mom and aunt are nurses and tend to her injured ankle, even providing crutches.
  • She later hobbles into her conservative family’s church play, trying to downplay the “sex injury.”

• Memorable Moments:

  • “Are we fucking?” —Sasha on her two drinking modes, 22:39
  • “She was riding Billy in the front seat of the foreign car.” —Sasha (quoting her uncle ratting her out), 25:24
  • “There was only one rabbit in that vehicle. It was your daughter.” —Dax, 46:50
  • “That is as messy as it gets. I miss it.” —Dax, reflecting nostalgically, 28:16

3. Holiday Traffic, COVID, and a Deer: New Parent Nightmare

Guest: Aaron (and wife Brie briefly)
Timestamp: 34:39–44:46

• Background:

  • Aaron and Brie, relatively new parents, embark on the classic “baby’s first Christmas” road trip from Georgia to Maryland to visit family.

• The Sequence of Disasters:

  1. Car Accident:
     • On Christmas Eve, just before their exit, an elderly man rear-ends them on the highway. No one is seriously hurt, but their car is damaged.
  2. Christmas Morning in the ER:
     • On Christmas Day, their infant spikes a dangerously high fever (104°F). ER visit reveals baby has COVID.
     • The extended family does a “drive-by” gift drop to avoid exposure. Later, Aaron’s mother-in-law also tests positive.
  3. Bonus Mishap:
     • After returning to Georgia and getting a rental while their car is repaired, Aaron strikes a deer with the rental, causing further car troubles and a $500 repair bill.

• Memorable Moments:

  • “On Christmas morning, we head over to the emergency room... she is positive for Covid.” —Aaron, 41:13
  • “I get out, the deer's gone, but has left a nice dent and some fur and a little bit of blood on the door.” —Aaron, 43:49
  • “Well, you know what's funny is I'm Jewish. I'm like, I'm never celebrating Christmas again.” —Aaron, 44:17
  • “This is why Hanukkah is eight nights. We spread out the good juju.” —Aaron, 44:26

Host Banter & Running Jokes

• Dax and Monica trade jokes about family traditions, stereotypes, and the “itch” of year seven in podcasting (00:49).

• College Football Rivalry:
  Dax antagonizes Monica and guests by shouting random college chants (“Roll Tide,” “Go Vols,” “Hook ‘Em,” “Go Dawgs!”), claiming his lack of loyalty:

  • “I will not prioritize loyalty over the truth.” —Dax, 19:35

• Holiday Observations:
  Monica reflects on celebrating Christmas as an Indian-American family, noting how traditions sometimes must be invented or adopted (11:52).

Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

| Timestamp | Quote | Speaker | |---|---|---| | 05:04 | "The higher the hair, the closer to God." | Monica | | 08:41 | "Uncle Bob must have really unloaded... he must have got trigger happy with it." | Dax | | 22:39 | "There are sort of two modes I go into in drinking... everyone is my best friend... and then number two is… are we fucking?" | Sasha | | 25:24 | “She was riding Billy in the front seat of the foreign car.” | Sasha (quoting uncle) | | 28:16 | "That is as messy as it gets. I miss it." | Dax | | 46:15 | "We hope you enjoy your holidays, Armcherries. And keep your pepper spray stowed. Just keep it close by on the holiday 2025. Love you." | Dax (sign-off) | | 44:17 | "Well, you know what's funny is I'm Jewish. I'm like, I'm never celebrating Christmas again." | Aaron | | 44:26 | "This is why Hanukkah is eight nights. We spread out the good juju." | Aaron |

Important Timestamps

• Bella’s Pepper Spray Story: 03:00–10:32
• Sasha’s Holiday Hookup Disaster: 13:39–28:58
• Aaron & Brie’s Christmas Nightmares: 34:39–44:46

Episode Tone & Style

• Warm, irreverent, self-deprecating humor guides the episode.
• Listeners’ embarrassing moments are treated with both empathy and laughter.
• Real, relatable, and “messy” human stories are celebrated as essential to growth and community.
• Monica and Dax’s playful chemistry shines, making even the most cringeworthy tales feel like warm, communal experiences.

Final Thoughts

As always, “Holiday Nightmare III” delivers catharsis, commiseration, and plenty of laughs. The chaotic scenarios remind listeners that sometimes, the best holiday stories are the ones you never want to repeat—but will tell for years.