Armchair Anonymous: Social Media Fail

Summary

Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard: Episode Summary – "Armchair Anonymous: Social Media Fail"

In this compelling episode of Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard, host Dax Shepard delves into the precarious world of social media mishaps with his guests Johnson, Monica, and Padman. Titled "Armchair Anonymous: Social Media Fail," the episode explores how a single misstep on social platforms can spiral into unexpected and often distressing consequences. Through a series of personal anecdotes, the guests illustrate the fine line between sharing and oversharing in the digital age.

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1. Eric’s High School Twitter Catastrophe

Timestamp: 04:58 – 13:05

Eric shares a harrowing experience from his high school years that underscores the potential dangers of social media miscommunication. As a senior and lacrosse team captain in North Carolina, Eric decided to tweet about his illness to inform his peers about his attendance at school despite feeling unwell.

• The Incident: He posted a tweet stating, “Stay away from Peach today or take extra vitamin C because Eric's at school and he's out to kill,” using his high school nickname, "Peaches." The humorous intent backfired disastrously when Homeland Security flagged his tweet as a potential threat.

• Consequences: Within half an hour, police surrounded his car, leading to a tense and embarrassing situation. Despite his clean reputation and benign intent, the misinterpretation led to an overwhelming display of law enforcement that culminated in a disastrous day both academically and athletically, including a humiliating moment during a lacrosse game.

• Notable Quote:

  "I shit into my socks and... it [was] absolutely the worst day of my life."
  — Eric (Timestamp: 12:00)

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2. Emma’s Snapchat Group Chat Slip-Up

Timestamp: 20:49 – 29:18

Emma recounts a painful episode from her college years at the University of Alabama, highlighting the pitfalls of group messaging apps like Snapchat in a college setting.

• The Incident: While trying to invite friends to her room for a party, Emma mistakenly sent a Snapchat image of herself in unflattering underwear to her entire social psychology class instead of a private group. The image was accompanied by the caption, “Come over, Daddy, let's play,” intended as a humorous and playful invitation.

• Consequences: Instead of receiving playful responses, Emma faced ridicule and misunderstanding from her classmates, leading to social ostracization and discomfort. The unintended broad audience of her message transformed a lighthearted attempt at humor into a source of embarrassment and isolation.

• Notable Quote:

  "I was so embarrassed, I couldn't [attend] the class for the rest of the semester."
  — Emma (Timestamp: 26:16)

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3. Jill’s Overenthusiastic Social Media Reaction

Timestamp: 35:18 – 51:35

Jill narrates an episode where her excitement over receiving a personal gift from Dax Shepard led to a social media frenzy.

• The Incident: Jill received a mug from Dax Shepard, accompanied by a personalized note expressing gratitude for her support. Overwhelmed with joy, she took numerous selfies with the mug and posted them on social media, tagging Dax and the podcast. This overzealous sharing was based on a misunderstanding that Dax was sending out gifts to his top listeners.

• Consequences: The public sharing of her appreciation, intended as a private thank-you, resulted in Jill feeling overwhelmed and somewhat embarrassed by the attention. It highlighted how personal gestures can sometimes lead to unintended public exposure when mediated through social platforms.

• Notable Quote:

  "I thought that Dax was mailing his best listeners these mugs as a gift, and somehow I was, like, the toppest of the top listeners."
  — Jill (Timestamp: 37:07)

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4. Greg’s Unintentional Overshare During Parenthood

Timestamp: 43:47 – 50:31

Greg discusses a deeply personal mistake where his attempt to document the birth of his daughter led to an unintended and highly personal overshare on Facebook.

• The Incident: Eager to capture and share every moment of his daughter's birth, Greg used a high-quality camera to take photos. Unbeknownst to him, the angles of some pictures inadvertently captured intimate details, leading to a message alert that awkwardly highlighted the unintended exposure.

• Consequences: The revelation that such personal images were shared publicly caused significant embarrassment and strained relationships with friends who saw the photos. Greg and his wife faced uncomfortable conversations and had to navigate the fallout of their unintended privacy breach.

• Notable Quote:

  "I happened to put my wife's vagina on Facebook."
  — Greg (Timestamp: 47:37)

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Insights and Reflections

Throughout the episode, Dax Shepard and his co-hosts reflect on the stories shared, emphasizing the importance of understanding the permanence and reach of online communications. They discuss the fine balance between sharing personal moments and maintaining privacy, highlighting how easily intentions can be misconstrued in the digital landscape.

• Key Takeaway:

  "Social media is... just one quick click away. You’re not really looking at what you’re clicking at."
  — Monica Padman (Timestamp: 51:43)

The hosts underscore that awareness and cautiousness are paramount when navigating social media to prevent similar mishaps. They advocate for thoughtful sharing and understanding the potential ramifications of online interactions.

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Conclusion

"Armchair Anonymous: Social Media Fail" serves as a cautionary tale about the complexities of digital communication. Through the vivid recounting of personal experiences, the episode illuminates the unpredictable nature of social media and the importance of mindful engagement. Listeners are left with a reinforced understanding of the need for discretion and the potential consequences of even seemingly innocuous online actions.

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For those interested in exploring the intricacies of human behavior without the confines of data sets, memorable stories, and insightful discussions, tune into Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard on the Wondery App or your preferred podcast platform.

Transcript

[Dax Shepard]

Wondry plus subscribers can listen to Armchair Expert early and ad free right now. Join Wondry plus in the Wondry app or on Apple Podcasts, or you can listen for free wherever you get your podcasts. Welcome, welcome, welcome to Armchair Anonymous. I'm Buck shepherd and I'm joined by Johnson, Monica, Padman.

[Monica Padman]

Wow.

[Dax Shepard]

Social media fail.

[Monica Padman]

They're everywhere.

[Dax Shepard]

Just look around, they're abound. Yeah, there's some good. Social media fails. It's not hard to fail on social media.

[Monica Padman]

People are just kind of hard to succeed, really.

[Dax Shepard]

It's hard to succeed and easy to fail. Yeah, you're throwing a lot of stuff. I remember when I first got Twitter 20 years ago, or whatever that was.

[Monica Padman]

Was that your first entree in.

[Dax Shepard]

I wasn't ever on Facebook.

[Monica Padman]

Right.

[Dax Shepard]

I remember I was in Utah visiting Kristen's dad and he was already on it and he encouraged us to sign up for it. And then I'm just staring at that thing as I think maybe many people did, you know, I gotta send something.

[Monica Padman]

Yes. Yeah.

[Dax Shepard]

It's crazy. I think this is right. Initially, you're like, this is insane. Why am I just gonna say something?

[Monica Padman]

And that's the right thinking.

[Dax Shepard]

That's the right thinking. But then the second you break the seal, you're like, oh, yeah. Here's another thing I got to say.

[Monica Padman]

I'm so interesting.

[Dax Shepard]

I got to say this now, too. Yeah, yeah. Police have been called in this episode. You know, it's a real barn burner.

[Monica Padman]

It is.

[Dax Shepard]

Please enjoy. Social media fails. We are supported by Audible. We know you love audio content. Thanks for listening to the show. But if your ears are craving more audio, Audible is the place to go. I probably, in truth, spend more time on Audible than any other place, any other app. Yeah, I'm listening every night for an hour before bed. There's more to imagine when you listen. Whether you're searching for the latest bestsellers and new releases or you want to catch up on a classic title, you can find it all in the Audible app. And as an Audible member, you choose one title a month to keep from their entire catalog.

[Monica Padman]

What are you listening to now?

[Dax Shepard]

Well, I'm just finishing the Worlds I See by Feife Lee. It's so good and moving, and I love it so much. I'm. I'm sad it's ending. Now. Listen. New members can try Audible for free for 30 days. Visit audible.comdax or text DAX to 500. 500. That's audible.comdax or text Dax to 500. 500. The new Apple Watch series. 10 is here. It has the biggest display ever.

[Eric]

It's also the thinnest Apple Watch ever, making it even more comfortable on your wrist. And it's the fastest charging Apple watch.

[Dax Shepard]

Getting you 8 hours of charge in just 15 minutes. Introducing the all new Apple Watch Series 10, now available for the first time in glossy jet black aluminum. Compared to previous generation iPhone Xs are later required.

[Eric]

Charge time and actual results will vary.

[Dax Shepard]

Hard times come and go Good times take them slow My life, I had them both Remember one thing you gotta know I'm gonna keep on shining.

[Eric]

Hi, can you hear me?

[Dax Shepard]

Yes. Can you hear us?

[Eric]

Oh my gosh, absolutely.

[Dax Shepard]

I think your headphones aren't working though. Is that accurate? Rob?

[Greg]

Are you guys hearing him?

[Dax Shepard]

I can hear him, but I'm hearing us echo. Maybe not anymore. Would you talk one more time, Eric?

[Eric]

Guys, I'm here. I'm starting my office.

[Dax Shepard]

It's all crackly. So we'll have to solve this real quick.

[Monica Padman]

And it didn't do that at the very beginning.

[Dax Shepard]

Let's try to reconnect and see if that sorts it out.

[Emma]

Absolutely.

[Dax Shepard]

And don't stress. This is so common.

[Eric]

Ok, can you all hear me now? Thank goodness. My heart was beating so fast.

[Dax Shepard]

I could tell you were stressed. I was trying to tell you not to stress. This is very common to have technical issues.

[Monica Padman]

It really is.

[Eric]

I also realized that I guess I should have done this on the first try, but I tried to join from my browser instead of the Zoom app. Refreshed it on the Zoom app and it worked a lot better.

[Monica Padman]

That's good for us to know too. If this happens again with people, that might fix it.

[Dax Shepard]

Very appropriate for a social media fail prompt that we would have a Zoom fail in root. First of all, you have some kind of cartography behind you. Are you a civil engineer or something? Why do you have this map?

[Eric]

So I sell lighting control systems in the eastern part of North Carolina, up and down the coast from Raleigh east. That's really just my territory map, but of course my head is blocking it. So all you can see is western North Carolina over here.

[Monica Padman]

How did you fare in the hurricane?

[Eric]

We were good here on the coast. I live in Wilmington, but my wife went to App State and Boone. We have a lot of connections in the mountains and it's been tough. So all of our thoughts and prayers and as many resources as we can possibly get out there. It's definitely necessary.

[Monica Padman]

Yeah, man.

[Dax Shepard]

Okay, so you're in North Carolina and you had a social media fail. Please set the stage for us all right.

[Eric]

So 2013, I was a senior in high school, and I grew up kind of in the middle of the state of North Carolina. Right. So small town country. And I was a relatively well liked, charismatic high schooler. And I was also the captain of my lacrosse lacrosse team. I was really passionate about that. And the day before my senior lacrosse season started, I came down with what I assumed was the flu. So one of the pictures I sent in this morning is the Instagram picture I took that night of me in two pairs of sweatpants, a mismatched peacoat, and a hunting hat to try and sweat the sickness out.

[Dax Shepard]

Oh, wow. That was going to be your approach.

[Eric]

My school had a policy that you couldn't play in any athletic event or do anything extracurricular unless you went for half of the school day, stayed until noon. So really, I was just bound and determined to do whatever I could to be there for half a day. Woke up the next day, didn't feel any better, honestly, probably felt worse. But my mom and my dad were like, you know what? Give it a shot. Nothing bad's gonna happen on a half day of school. Just go. You can come back, take a nap, and go play ball. So I rush off, and I make sure to get to school before my calculus review starts. And I distinctly remember that morning laying horizontally across three desks that I had pushed together while other people were going over answers and talking calculus really quick.

[Dax Shepard]

Was your teacher present?

[Eric]

She was, yeah, absolutely. And I had a good relationship with her, so she was okay with this.

[Dax Shepard]

I can't imagine this is acceptable post Covid, right? Like, if you're so sick, you got to lay across three desks now, they'd be like, get the fuck out of here.

[Eric]

You're going home.

[Dax Shepard]

Absolutely.

[Eric]

No matter what. Thankfully, it was 2013, right? And that plays into this story a lot. So I got an idea that I wanted to tweet something to let people know that I was sick. I didn't feel good just at school to get the job done for the day and move on to the lacrosse game. And if you'll look at the second picture that I sent you guys, it is a copy of that tweet. My nickname in high school was Peaches, so that clarifies that a little bit. But it says, stay away from Peach today or take extra vitamin C because Eric's at school and he's out to kill.

[Monica Padman]

Oh.

[Dax Shepard]

Oh, no.

[Eric]

But as you can see, we got three favorites. I thought I was doing pretty good, you know, I was like, yeah, rock and roll. Let's go on to class.

[Dax Shepard]

He's out to kill. Oh, my God.

[Monica Padman]

Jesus.

[Eric]

Awful wording. And looking back, in hindsight, I can appreciate that. But in the moment, I thought it was clever.

[Dax Shepard]

The name Peachy is a nickname versus out to kill. Those are, like, really incongruous.

[Monica Padman]

Big time.

[Dax Shepard]

Yeah.

[Eric]

Yeah, that's absolutely right. About an hour later, right before the morning announcements come, we get a knock on the calculus door, and it's the assistant principal. And he's like, hey, Eric, grab your stuff. Come with me. And I was like, okay. I honestly thought that they were gonna take me into the office and allow me to give an announcement, say, come to the lacrosse game tonight. They were gonna honor me and say, like, hey, we've got the captain of the lacrosse team. He wants to give a couple of messages to you guys. I was mistaken. So I was walking up towards the office with the assistant principal, who was not into the business of making small talk with me that morning. And we walk up to the office, and there's a guy stand standing out front who looks really just like a large parent in all black. Nod my head over to him, say, hello, good morning. Grabs my backpack with all of his force, takes it off of me, hands it to the guy standing next to him, and starts patting me down all over my body. I'm still, like, incredibly sick and don't necessarily know what's going on.

[Dax Shepard]

Yeah, because you're not immediately thinking of the tweet.

[Eric]

That was the last thing on my mind at this point. As I walk into the office, another of the assistant principals, whose son is one of my best friends, also on the lacrosse team, looks over at me, makes eye contact, and his head just falls into his hands, and he just starts shaking his head. And I was like, oh, no, this can't be good. So they pull me back into the office. There's the head sheriff, the head principal, and an empty chair. And they set me down and they say, hey, Eric, this is why we pulled you in here. It was a copy of the Tweet. They said 30 minutes after you sent this. Homeland Security flagged it.

[Dax Shepard]

Wow. Wow, that's reassuring.

[Monica Padman]

Very.

[Eric]

It absolutely is. And look at back. Now, I don't want to make light of school shootings or anything, but that was the last thing that crossed my mind when I sent this tweet out.

[Dax Shepard]

Yeah, you were hoping to be seen as a hero who was suffering through some hardship and then still going to play. You wanted to be hoisted on people's.

[Eric]

Shoulders, carried off the field. Rudy, you know Exactly. So that's not what happened. So they said that within 30 minutes, my car had been surrounded by cops. There was 10 or 15 police cars that wouldn't let me leave. They had that many armed guards at the school flanks throughout. My dad is in public school administration the county over, but my mom is the one that they wanted to call. So they call her and they say, hey, Julie, your son's not hurt, but we need you to come to the high school immediately. And my mom was like, you've got to give me a little bit more detail than that. And they said, no, we can't. Oh, wow, she's freaking out. She runs down about 10, 15 minutes away and gets there and they tell her the same story. But essentially, as we were walking out, she made the comment like, I really wish I would have held you back from school today so this didn't happen. And the sheriff looked at her and said, ma'am, if he would have tweeted this while he was at your home, all of these police officers would be at your home.

[Dax Shepard]

Yeah, they would have kicked some doors down, probably.

[Eric]

That was kind of a wake up call. But another thing that kind of shocked me was they told me that they went through all of my historical social media presence and saw that I had, through my dad, you know, access to hunting rifles. I had been to shooting ranges. You know, I live in the country of North Carolina. It's a relatively common thing.

[Dax Shepard]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, you're a country boy.

[Eric]

So immediately, it put them on full warning to send out all of their resources. After that, I was like, this day really can't get much worse. They let me go. Finally make it through the school day, decide to celebrate getting through the school day by going to Moe's for lunch. Right? Moe's burrito. Welcome to Moe's.

[Dax Shepard]

You're all over the map.

[Monica Padman]

You are. You're so sick. And you go to Mo.

[Eric]

I wish I had Yalls point of view back then.

[Dax Shepard]

This is why you got to be 35 to become president of the United States.

[Eric]

That's exactly right. Go to Mo's, have my burrito, fall asleep on my couch and wake up with just time to get to the school, get on the bus, go play this lacrosse game. We go through warmups. I still don't feel great. And I'm like, this day has been chaos. Let's just go out here and forget everything that's happened today. Kind of a cathartic lacrosse game. That also wasn't the case. The very first play of the game, we lose the face Off. I play defense. So the ball came towards me, I picked it up, and I started running down the field to get the ball to my attack. And as I cross midfield, I got hit in the stomach with a stick check and proceeded to shit into my socks.

[Dax Shepard]

Oh.

[Eric]

I'm not lying when I say I shit for, like, 50 steps. And I was immediately taking off my helmet, taking off my gloves, dropping my stick, and I ran into the home team's locker room to just figure out what the hell just happened.

[Monica Padman]

Oh, my God. Sue just ran right off the field like Forrest Gump.

[Dax Shepard]

Get the ball and go past the end zone.

[Eric]

Just kept on going. And I had to throw my compression shorts away, throw my socks away, and come out of the bathroom like 20 minutes later in just my jersey and my shorts and all of my pads kind of just hanging and no socks. We were on the away side, so all of the away fans were gathered around the home locker room to make sure I was alive.

[Dax Shepard]

Was it obvious what had happened to them or were they confused?

[Eric]

I think they were confused because there weren't many comments made and people still seem to be confused. They were just like, oh, Eric got sick.

[Dax Shepard]

They thought you went in there to throw up maybe.

[Eric]

Yeah, right. It wasn't one of those pooping in your pants where it was an obvious pooping, but to me, it was a very obvious pooping.

[Dax Shepard]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Straight water. I mean, you were sick.

[Eric]

Absolutely. It was bad. So the social media failed, led to Homeland Security, me being labeled, you know, as a potential threat to my high school, which then only turned itself into a worst day when I played the lacrosse game and shit into my socks and we lost three to one. So I like to tell people that that is absolutely the worst day of my life. And when y'all came on and said a social media fail, my wife was like, you have got to put this story in.

[Monica Padman]

Oh, that's great.

[Dax Shepard]

You couldn't have been sent more signs?

[Monica Padman]

You know, you were not supposed to play that game. You were supposed to stay home that day.

[Eric]

I was. I was supposed to stay home and recover.

[Dax Shepard]

In aa, we say this is self will run riot. This is when you need to accept.

[Eric]

Except the circumstances.

[Dax Shepard]

Did you play the rest of the game?

[Eric]

I did not know. I did not play any more of that game.

[Dax Shepard]

So you played the face off yourself and then left.

[Jill]

Oh, my God.

[Dax Shepard]

Are you a Tar Heel?

[Eric]

Tar Heel fan? I went to a small school in Virginia, all guys school called Hampton Sydney College.

[Dax Shepard]

Okay. Where they specialize in guys who had their socks I guess so. Yeah.

[Eric]

It was a perfect place for guys like me.

[Dax Shepard]

Eric, what a beautiful story. Because it really had everything.

[Monica Padman]

It really did.

[Dax Shepard]

Homeland Security was enough of a story.

[Monica Padman]

I have to reiterate, I'm very heartened by that. I really like knowing that they're on top of it in a way.

[Eric]

And in 2013, when that was way less prevalent, to know that they were so on top of it.

[Dax Shepard]

It's comforting to know they were on it like that.

[Monica Padman]

Yeah.

[Dax Shepard]

Well, Eric, what a beautiful story. I really had everything we would want.

[Eric]

Thank you both so much. This has been an absolute treat.

[Monica Padman]

So fun for us.

[Dax Shepard]

We love our North Carolina. All right, Eric, great meeting you.

[Eric]

You as well. You'll take care.

[Dax Shepard]

Okay, Bye. Bye. What a sweetie.

[Monica Padman]

Oh, that was fun.

[Dax Shepard]

I liked it.

[Monica Padman]

Was a little triggering for a story people don't know about yet.

[Dax Shepard]

Yeah.

[Monica Padman]

But okay. Yeah, I can move forward.

[Dax Shepard]

I imagine you felt a real kinship.

[Monica Padman]

For the first time now.

[Dax Shepard]

You know, I've always felt about these people.

[Monica Padman]

The shitters.

[Dax Shepard]

Yeah. Because I shit myself, you know, once a year. I say it's been a while.

[Monica Padman]

The thing with the morning school drop.

[Dax Shepard]

Off, that was over a year ago for sure. I don't think I've had any significant action.

[Monica Padman]

Well, you had. Oh, that wasn't a. Your pants. But you did have the building of the basketball hoop clogging.

[Dax Shepard]

Yeah, but I made it to the toilet.

[Monica Padman]

Right.

[Dax Shepard]

Yeah. We are supported by the new holiday action comedy Red 1. The mission to save Christmas is on. Dwayne Johnson and Chris Evans star in Red One from Jake Kasdan, who I love, as you know, director of Jumanji. Welcome to the jungle. After Santa Claus, codename Red One, played by J.K. simmons, is kidnapped. The North Pole's head of security, played by Dwayne Johnson, must team up with the world's most infamous bounty hunter, played by Chris Evans, in a globe trotting, action packed mission to save Christmas. This is Christmas fun like you've never seen before. See Red One only in theaters November 15th. Get tickets [e-mail]. we are supported by Audible. I love audible. I've been listening to so much Audible lately because I've been taking these naps a lot. I always like to listen to audible to go to sleep. Now, look, it's a special feeling when you encounter a story that truly sparks your imagination. Whether it's imagining new worlds and possibilities or discovering new ways of thinking, there's more to imagine when you listen. That's why we love listening. Listening to the amazing titles they have on Audible. Right now, I'm listening to WIM hof.

[Monica Padman]

Yeah. And you are really into it. You were explaining a lot of the pieces to me.

[Dax Shepard]

Yeah. And I lost you a little bit.

[Monica Padman]

I'm listening to Intermezzo by Sally Rooney.

[Dax Shepard]

Is it great?

[Monica Padman]

Yeah, it's great.

[Dax Shepard]

Audible truly has the best selection of audiobooks, without exception. From bestsellers to new releases to exclusive Audible originals, there's always something to discover as an Audible member, you choose one title a month to keep from their entire catalog. New members can try audible free for 30 days. Visit audible.comdax or text DAX to 500. 500. That's audible.comdax or text Dax to 500. 500. We are supported by Sonos. Oh, boy, oh, boy. Sonos is my favorite product in my whole life. I've listened to it all day long. I'm in the gym listening to Sonos. I'm at home, listen, watching TV with my Sonos soundbar. I mean, it's.

[Monica Padman]

It really changes the whole experience of listening.

[Dax Shepard]

Look, you're listening to the podcast right now, but how are you listening if you're not listening on a Sonos speaker? You don't even even know how amazing the dulcet tones of our voices can sound. Sonos is known for having the absolute best sound quality of any speaker on the market. You've got to hear it. And as good as Sonos can make us sound, imagine listening to Pink Floyd on a Sonos speaker or hearing the booming dramatic music in a great action film on a Sonos soundbar. Game changing. Another incredible feature of Sonos. Their integrated sound system makes it easy to play anything in any room.

[Monica Padman]

I love that it's easy to use.

[Dax Shepard]

Too, so you can keep your dance party going throughout your whole house. Visit sonos.comdax to learn more. That's sonos.comdax all right.

[Greg]

Ready for Emma?

[Dax Shepard]

Yeah. Oh, my God. What if it was?

[Monica Padman]

I would love that. Emma. Feel free to just show up sometime.

[Dax Shepard]

Yeah, tell us a story we don't know. Do you think Emma's pooped her pants?

[Monica Padman]

Oh, Emma, have you pooped your pants? Have you pooped your pants?

[Dax Shepard]

If so, send us a text.

[Monica Padman]

It also depends. What are we counting? Are we counting just like a shark, right?

[Dax Shepard]

Almost all of mine have been sharks.

[Monica Padman]

I think that's the majority. That's the common thing. Not a full.

[Dax Shepard]

This has happened to me where I know that's coming. And I'll poop anywhere. I'll poop in public. I'd rather a bunch of people see me Poop poop in public than do it in my slacks.

[Monica Padman]

Really?

[Dax Shepard]

Yeah. That's what I did in the pch. Hi, Emma, can you hear us? Her audio's still not connected.

[Monica Padman]

Okay, see, that's why I feel shame.

[Dax Shepard]

Don't feel shame.

[Monica Padman]

I do. I still think I made the right decision for me, but for me, for me.

[Dax Shepard]

For you, dog. This is pretty funny that we're having so many technical issues on our social media.

[Emma]

Can you hear me?

[Eric]

Yes.

[Dax Shepard]

Now we can. How are you?

[Emma]

I'm good. How are you?

[Monica Padman]

Good.

[Dax Shepard]

What are these fun photos behind you? It seems like you have a lover.

[Emma]

Yeah, my boyfriend made this for me for Valentine's Day, and it just wasn't really fitting the aesthetic out there. So I have it back here so I can see it every day, though.

[Monica Padman]

That is so something I would do. Yeah, like, this is so sweet. I'll be putting it in the closet.

[Emma]

I let him put his Legos out there, so I'm like, let's just put this in here.

[Dax Shepard]

But it's probably a rough conversation because he clearly took a ton of time. It's string for the listener. It's a long rope, and there's all these little clothes pins and these beautiful photos of them embracing. And he thought, I bet in his mind where that was going to hang front and center in the house. And he knew he put a lot of time in. And at some point you had to say, so, Han, I want to move these to the closet.

[Monica Padman]

I think you say, oh, my God, I have the perfect. I have the perfect place for this. I've been waiting to hang some stuff up in my closet.

[Dax Shepard]

Beautiful box of purse came in, and I think we should keep. It's safe in there.

[Emma]

Well, when you put it like that, yeah, that kind of makes me.

[Monica Padman]

I am with you.

[Dax Shepard]

Monica's definitely co signing on this move. Aesthetic first.

[Monica Padman]

100% aesthetic over love.

[Emma]

Yeah, I still see it every day.

[Eric]

Yeah.

[Dax Shepard]

And now we're here talking about it got more attention than it would have otherwise. Okay, so, Emma, you have a social media fail story.

[Emma]

I do. It's really embarrassing and kind of tough to tell. So if I get a little awkward, just excuse me. So the story takes place in the University of Alabama, where I went to school. And it was my sophomore year of college, so I was living in my sorority house with all my best friends. We would always get ready together. Hair, makeup, dress together. You know how girls are.

[Dax Shepard]

Can I ask you ladies a question? Is that part even more fun than the party? Is that the funnest Part, probably.

[Monica Padman]

Yeah, definitely.

[Dax Shepard]

And you're having some cocktails as you.

[Emma]

Do it or like the morning after the debrief together too.

[Monica Padman]

Pre and post dopamine because it's the anticipation.

[Dax Shepard]

Yeah.

[Monica Padman]

And then the community after also. I won't be saying it, but feel free. I'm going to give you permission to say it.

[Dax Shepard]

Roll tide.

[Emma]

Roll tide. I know. Bad weekend.

[Monica Padman]

I'm sorry, I can't. We can't.

[Dax Shepard]

Did Roll tide roll over Georgia?

[Monica Padman]

Hey. Hey.

[Dax Shepard]

I'm asking sincerely.

[Monica Padman]

Look at her face.

[Dax Shepard]

Oh, it must have been a real joyous time.

[Emma]

It was a really good game though. I thought Georgia was going to win for sure.

[Dax Shepard]

Are they feeling the effects of losing that 33 year old on his ninth year? Is that what you said?

[Monica Padman]

I don't know, actually.

[Emma]

Okay, I don't know enough about.

[Monica Padman]

We know about makeup and parties.

[Dax Shepard]

Okay, so we're back to the makeup.

[Emma]

My room was the biggest room in the house. So we would always get ready in my room. Just like a good community. We just have weird humor. And I would always come out wearing like period underwear, like big underwear. I would make it like an awkward pose and clench my butt cheeks and be like, hey guys, this cute for the party tonight and like be so weird.

[Dax Shepard]

Oh, I love this.

[Monica Padman]

That's fun.

[Emma]

It would always make people laugh. And if I get a laugh out of something, I can never let it go.

[Dax Shepard]

We call it going back to the.

[Emma]

Well, yeah, little background. So classes at Alabama, you would always join groupmes for the classes, you know, like a messaging site for reminders for class and stuff. And for a lot of teachers, they would consider certain things cheating that wasn't really cheating, but they would be like, I don't like when you share notes or I don't like when you share study guides. Things like that where you're not sharing test answers but that they don't like when you do that on the forums. So for a lot of these classes we would make separate Snapchat group chats or text threads so that we could share information like that.

[Monica Padman]

No, just share your info.

[Emma]

Help each other out is how I like to phrase it. And so I would always join these Snapchat group chats that were sent in the groupmes to just kind of help me study and stuff. Or like if I see information come through the Snapchat group chat, I'm like, like, cool. That helps me with the test. So one day I was in the sorority house and I was just in bed, big baggy, T shirt, granny panties, period underwear, whatever. Just chilling as girls do. My friends and I were just texting, like, Saturday night. What are we doing tonight? So I go to send them a Snapchat, being like, come to my room like I always do. And so I take a picture of my clenched butt cheeks in my underwear. Unflattering, like, it's not cute. It's not sexy.

[Monica Padman]

It's not supposed to be. That's the joke?

[Emma]

Yeah, that's the joke. Thank you, Monica. You know, like, I'm sure you and Aaron weekly send sexually charged messages to each other. I decided to caption it. Come over, Daddy, let's play.

[Dax Shepard]

Come over, Daddy, let's play. That's perfect.

[Emma]

I send it over to my friends, thinking I'll get text back, like, coming over. I just hear them come in, whatever, as usual. And then I just go on Instagram or something, and I start seeing notifications come in. For my social psychology class.

[Monica Padman]

What's the right class for it?

[Dax Shepard]

That's a good point.

[Emma]

I know it could be studied, and there are just so many snapshots coming in, screenshots. So I click in it, and I had sent the message to my whole social psychology class.

[Dax Shepard]

Bama's big. How many students are in that class, do you think?

[Emma]

In total, the class is like 100 people.

[Monica Padman]

Okay, okay.

[Emma]

But on Snapchat, luckily, they max it out at like, 30 people per group chat. I click in it. And of course, it's just all boys being like, what guy would think that's hot? They thought I was trying to send it to a guy to be hot.

[Monica Padman]

Oh, my God, these guys are so shitty. They should have been like, I'll come over.

[Dax Shepard]

Although, hold on, hold on.

[Monica Padman]

I'll be your daddy.

[Dax Shepard]

Well, yeah, I would have been there in a second. Who gives a? But if I tucked my boxers up into my butt crack and had like, a thong boxers and sent it to Aaron, it was like, taste this yummy stew. Ew.

[Monica Padman]

Don't call it.

[Dax Shepard]

When you girls saw it, thinking, I thought that was it. You guys would go, like, try again.

[Monica Padman]

No, I actually don't think so. I mean, girls might. Might think it, but they wouldn't be mean directly to you.

[Dax Shepard]

Well, don't you think they would be like, this guy's so ostentatious and over the top and he thinks he's hot. Like, you set up that you're in the wrong, so you're entitled to correct this behavior. I think there's a societal fuck. It's the class you were taking. People break social mores and then other people, you know, I don't think they should have been mean. And I also would have come over, but go ahead.

[Monica Padman]

Yeah, they should have just come over, taken it as an invite.

[Emma]

I wasn't offended by what they were saying. I was just frustrated that they didn't understand my intent. They're like, I would drop out of school.

[Dax Shepard]

Oh, no.

[Emma]

Horrible things. And I would just kept being like, guys, that was a joke. Like, I mentioned to my friends. They're like, what are we, born yesterday?

[Dax Shepard]

Oh, no. They really teed off.

[Emma]

Oh, my gosh. Yeah, just horrible. I was like, okay, there's nothing I can do here. So I just left the group chat, and I never went to the class for the rest of the semester. I mean, I was so embarrassed, I couldn't. But luckily it was Covid years, so I did have to go back for two tests. And I just, like, wore a mask and, like, hoodie sunglasses. Just looked down. Ended up getting, like, a C in the class, which I never really got. And it was social psychology. It was like, someone smiles at you. What does this mean? You know, Like, I should have gotten an A.

[Monica Padman]

Should have been an easy A. Oh, boy. Okay.

[Dax Shepard]

Did it cross your mind to go like. Like, if I wanted to be sexy, it would look like this. Put another pick out.

[Monica Padman]

Oh, that's really.

[Dax Shepard]

To kind of nullify the first pick.

[Emma]

Just double down.

[Dax Shepard]

Yeah, like, no, this is me. This is what it would have looked like if I was sincere. I get it.

[Monica Padman]

You should have considered transferring to a school nearby with nice people.

[Emma]

All right, I'm getting into Alabama. You know, I'm not getting into Georgia.

[Dax Shepard]

Is there a big difference in those schools academically?

[Emma]

Yeah, Alabama's known for easier to get into, but it's still a good school.

[Dax Shepard]

Yeah, we love it. We're all tied. The other move would have been like, this is what Jim Carrey would have done. He would have been like, fuck, I'm going all the way. I would have shown up for the test wearing jeans, but then big period panties over the jeans.

[Monica Padman]

You really.

[Dax Shepard]

I have bad ideas.

[Monica Padman]

Yeah.

[Dax Shepard]

I know how to make a bad situation worse.

[Emma]

Well, I think guys can get away with laughing at and humoring at it a little bit more where, like, it's a little more embarrassing for a girl. If it was my friends, I would have doubled down.

[Dax Shepard]

I'm going to be honest. I think this would have flown in Detroit a little better. I think there's a little bit more conventional female male roles in the south at these schools just because I have a good friend that also is in A sorority at Bama. And it's just very, like, the girls did the girl stuff.

[Emma]

It's also just like immature college kids.

[Monica Padman]

Totally. Oh, bitcom bad.

[Dax Shepard]

Yeah, I feel like it. What was the heading again? Come at me, daddy.

[Emma]

Come over, daddy.

[Monica Padman]

Let's play. It's a good line.

[Emma]

You ever said that.

[Dax Shepard]

It's great.

[Monica Padman]

I like it.

[Emma]

I would never.

[Jill]

Oh, my gosh.

[Dax Shepard]

No one reached out to you privately because I would also think there's so many young, horny dudes that they're like, I can deal with that. Those aren't my favorite panties, but they're.

[Monica Padman]

Coming off if you want to play.

[Dax Shepard]

Yeah, we're going to presumably get you out of those when we play.

[Emma]

Or like, somebody should have played the hero and been like, I'm so sorry they talked to you like that.

[Monica Padman]

Exactly. It was a missed opportunity for these silly Bama guys.

[Dax Shepard]

These dum dums.

[Monica Padman]

Yeah.

[Dax Shepard]

Roll pride.

[Emma]

Dax, I have to tell you a quick story. So the first time I was introduced to you, when I was little, I would go down to the basement and I'd watch like MTV and stuff when I was like 8 years old. And I have this, like, ingrained memory of watching punk. And you guys were trying to punk Ashton and he caught onto it. He came to you and punked you back and was like, how could you do this? We're brothers. I just remember immediately you were like, I'm so sor.

[Eric]

Sorry.

[Emma]

Like, I should have never done this. Took accountability immediately. And I remember being little and being like, guys don't apologize. And I still remember this day how you took accountability so quickly and was so humble and nice.

[Monica Padman]

Wow, that's nice.

[Dax Shepard]

It doesn't even ring a bell. Can you believe that? I mean, granted, it's 21 years ago. Yeah, I'm gonna take that compliment. Thank you. Yeah, yeah. That's very sweet.

[Monica Padman]

And it is in keeping with your character, so it makes sense.

[Dax Shepard]

Yeah. Is it funny some people have a better opinion of themselves retrospectively? I have a worse one.

[Monica Padman]

Well, because you were on and off.

[Dax Shepard]

I was on a. Probably a ton of diet pills in that episode. Yeah.

[Emma]

Like a bad relationship. You don't think about the good.

[Monica Padman]

Yeah, true.

[Dax Shepard]

Well, thank you, Emma. That was a really fun story and I'm delighted that young 8 year old saw me and I moved you. So thank you.

[Emma]

Yeah. It was so nice to meet you guys and have a great rest of your day.

[Dax Shepard]

All right, take care. Bye. We are supported by Peloton. Are you tired of the same old workout routine or struggling to find Motivation. At this busy time of year, it's time to check out Peloton.

[Monica Padman]

Peloton is so great. We all know this also. Not only is it a good workout, which I did at our friend Molly's house.

[Dax Shepard]

Uh huh.

[Monica Padman]

It's a great workout. But it's also like pretty. It's sleek.

[Dax Shepard]

Yeah, it is. It's a good looking piece.

[Monica Padman]

Very aesthetic pleasing. And you know that matters to me.

[Dax Shepard]

I know. I agree. Well, Peloton has a variety of training programs. They got pilates, 5k, 10k, half and full marathon programs, strength training, boot camps. There's so many ways to challenge yourself.

[Monica Padman]

It's so helpful to have a set plan. It takes a guesswork out. It just makes it easier to get started on your fitness journey.

[Dax Shepard]

That's great. And there's so many options on Peloton so you can find a workout that gives you exactly what you're looking for.

[Monica Padman]

Kind of workout are you feeling today?

[Dax Shepard]

Well, I gotta tell you, I was recently advised by Dr. To incorporate some more blasts, some high intensity blasts that you get the special. He said, look at sprinters, right? Why do they look like that? Because they're in this really high heart rate for some period of time. It's really beneficial. So I'm looking to go hard. Hard.

[Monica Padman]

Cool. Well, whatever you're looking for, Peloton has the workout for you. And they have world class fitness instructors to push you to the next level.

[Dax Shepard]

Find your push, find your power with Peloton. @1peloton.com we are supported by Wayfair. Oh my goodness, I love Wayfair. My feet are on a Wayfair coffee table right now that I'm in love with. I cannot believe the holidays are just around the corner. If you're hosting this holiday season, it's definitely that time where you need to start prepping the house to make things festive, but also functional for your guests. Wayfair is the place to get great deals on things your home actually needs this time of year. Cozier blankets, maybe a few extra dining chairs, holiday serveware. You name it, they have it. If you've been eyeing a few things on Wayfair, now is the time. Time to get them. They have huge holiday deals going on right now and you can get up to 70% off during their Black Friday deals. That's huge. 70%.

[Monica Padman]

As you said, we have a coffee table, we have side tables in the studio. This whole place is Wayfair.

[Dax Shepard]

We are decked out. Wayfair also offers free and easy shipping even on the big stuff and they'll help you set it up. One less thing to worry about this busy season. Don't miss out on saving big with Wayfair this holiday. Head to Wayfair.com now to shop Wayfair's Black Friday deals. That's W A Y F A I R.com we are supported by 23andMe plus total health. Advocating for your health and the personalized care you need and deserve in today's one size fits all health care system feels impossible. 23andMe + total health is a longevity platform that uses cutting edge genetic testing and blood biomarker analysis to help you create a health plan that's unique to you. With their advanced genetic screening, you'll get access to insights into your potential future, your disease risks, which can help lead to early detection and even prevention.

[Monica Padman]

23Andme is how we learned about misophonia.

[Dax Shepard]

That's right.

[Monica Padman]

It's how we gave it credit.

[Dax Shepard]

And I just ordered a supplemental test that already was there. They just had to analyze it for our Isaacson panel. With 23 me plus total health, you get comprehensive blood testing beyond routine labs, which can help you get a better understanding of how your health is changing throughout the year. Best of all, it's FSA HSA eligible. Check with your administrator to confirm eligibility. Advocate for your health today. Go to 23andMe.com Dax to receive 10% off. That's 10% off at 23andMe.com Dax.

[Jill]

Hi.

[Greg]

Hi.

[Dax Shepard]

What does your shirt say?

[Monica Padman]

Champs Chance.

[Jill]

It's Parisian. It's H and M. Did you watch.

[Dax Shepard]

The Olympics and watch them do the speed walking around the Champs de lyse?

[Jill]

I did not. But I heard you talk a lot about the Olympics and I enjoyed that coverage the very most.

[Dax Shepard]

Well, that's probably because you didn't see Snoop Dogg's coverage. That really is the high water mark.

[Monica Padman]

He was great.

[Jill]

I heard his was so good.

[Dax Shepard]

Oh, yeah. Incredible.

[Monica Padman]

What a turn Snoop has made in this life.

[Jill]

Right?

[Emma]

Well.

[Jill]

And kind of just kept on going. How he remains cool all these years is impressive.

[Dax Shepard]

He was enemy number one of the censorship folks, and now he's beloved. He's on the Olympics.

[Monica Padman]

He's on the Olympics and friends with.

[Dax Shepard]

Martha and on the Super Bowl.

[Jill]

Who knew?

[Dax Shepard]

It makes me like Martha more. I go, oh, she's a little nasty.

[Monica Padman]

Well, we know that.

[Jill]

Exactly. I feel like we did kind of already know that.

[Dax Shepard]

Okay. Because I'm catching up.

[Emma]

Okay.

[Dax Shepard]

Jill, you had a social media blunder.

[Jill]

Yes, I did. And it actually involves the two of you.

[Dax Shepard]

No.

[Monica Padman]

Oh, my God, I'm scared.

[Dax Shepard]

Oh, my God, I'm so embarrassed.

[Jill]

Okay, so here we go. So it happens back in 2018, and it starts with my best friend, Lindsey. Okay, so she's the kind of person that just has her finger on the pulse of what's cool. Like, she reminds me a lot of you, Monica, in that way where she's just knows what's cool before anybody else knows what's cool. She's like a day one armchair. She introduces me to the podcast, and I love it. It then becomes this very big part of our friendship. We're, like, talking about you guys, how much we love you guys. She's Monica. I'm more like dag, blah, blah, blah. And, like, we love the guests. We're, like, engaging in your debates. We're just loving it. Do y'all know the app Marco Polo?

[Monica Padman]

Yes.

[Dax Shepard]

Oh, yeah. We used to use it a lot.

[Jill]

We did too, at the time. And so it's where you're texting, but with, like, a video. And so we're doing that all the time.

[Dax Shepard]

It was the first thing you could really send video messages on.

[Jill]

It's not like FaceTime. You send it, they'll get to it when they get to it. It's a great app, and Lindsay and I would engage almost exclusively on there, if not in person. So we're talking about you guys and the podcast all the time. It comes this big part of our friendship. Then fast forward like, four months, June 18, 2018. And I get this package in the mail, and it's addressed to Jillian. My name is Jill. It's not Jillian. And so I'm like, whoever sent this doesn't know me really well. I open it up. Inside is, use this mug left handed.

[Dax Shepard]

Regular regs.

[Jill]

Yeah. But there's a note from Dax that says, thank you for supporting something so important to me. I'm very grateful. And I, in parentheses, probably love you, resident armchair expert Dax. And it's like this printed little note.

[Dax Shepard]

I'm as confused as you right now. Wow.

[Jill]

My mind is blown. I'm like, holy cow. Dax just sent me a gift. Somehow he knows I am one of his, like, top subscribers. This is amazing.

[Monica Padman]

I.

[Jill]

Polo Lindsey right away. And I'm like, lindsey, Dax sent me a mug.

[Monica Padman]

Did you get a mug?

[Jill]

Oh, my gosh, I am dying. And I'm also trying to, like, keep my cool a little in case she didn't get one. And I'm a little better of a listener. I don't know. So I'm just, like, dying. And loving it. I get off polo, send it. I take, like, 20 selfies of me with the mug and, like, all different poses, find the best one, post it to my social media. I tag Dax. I tag armchair. I don't tag Monica. I don't know her social at the time. And I'm like, thank you. And all, like, just going on and on. It's this long, like, Oscar speech. Like, a half hour later, Lindsey polos me back, and she is dying laughing.

[Dax Shepard]

Oh, no.

[Jill]

She's like, jill, I sent that as a surprise. I bought it from the store website, and I wanted it to surprise you, but I bought it, like, three months months ago. They're so slow on their shipping, so I polo her back. I'm dying laughing. But really, I'm just kind of dying because I'm like, oh, my gosh. But before I polo her, I take down the pose. I don't even look to see if anyone's seen it. I'm so embarrassed. And then I come back to earth. All the logic I threw out the window the second I saw the mug starts flooding, and I'm like, okay. So I thought that Dax was mailing his best listeners these mugs as a gift, and somehow I was, like, the toppest of the top listeners.

[Monica Padman]

Sure, sure.

[Dax Shepard]

And I had your address.

[Jill]

You found my address. You took a lot of time.

[Dax Shepard]

This is sweet. I'm glad you got that moment where you felt that way.

[Monica Padman]

Me too.

[Jill]

My only explanation for being that illogical was, like, you guys are my Ben and Matt. Monica, obviously, you're my Matt. And it was like, yeah, they could definitely be in the 10 next to mine at the same campsite as me.

[Monica Padman]

Oh, my God.

[Jill]

I sent the Polos to Emma. She gave them to Rob. And the selfies. We laughed about it a little, but it took me a long time to laugh about it a lot.

[Dax Shepard]

Oh, wait, wait. Is this it, Rob? Yeah. Oh, no. Well, now my whole heart is swelling and breaking. You're so happy now. I feel really bad. Look how genuinely happy now.

[Monica Padman]

This is so.

[Dax Shepard]

Oh, it's so sweet.

[Monica Padman]

I mean, yeah, I feel like. What do you feel? I feel like this is our fault.

[Dax Shepard]

It's our fault.

[Monica Padman]

I do think kind of the point of including that note is to make you feel like it is from us and Dax. So you didn't do anything weird? I think we did a weird thing.

[Dax Shepard]

No. All right, now I'm going to defend myself because I sincerely feel that way. Like, I really do feel like anyone who would like our show and take the time to buy a mug and want that in their life. I stand by what I would say to anyone who does that.

[Monica Padman]

Oh, I agree totally.

[Jill]

It's just evidence of your power. Y'all can kind of induce this magical thinking. Like, you could be cult leaders and.

[Monica Padman]

We'D be like, okay, no, no, no.

[Dax Shepard]

Well, what if the cult, though, is just, like, cool mugs and love and friendship?

[Monica Padman]

That's how it always starts.

[Dax Shepard]

You think we would be corrupted by the power? I think you're mon on Sheila. So you would be poisoning a salad bar at some point. I guess I'd be benzoed out like the bog one. The bog one was, like, on a ton of value. He lost total connection.

[Monica Padman]

Sex with everyone.

[Dax Shepard]

Yeah.

[Jill]

I don't think any of them go uncorrupted.

[Monica Padman]

Exactly.

[Dax Shepard]

Well, Jill, this is such a sweetie.

[Monica Padman]

And look, now. Now we get to actually meet you for real.

[Dax Shepard]

Kind of better than getting a mug.

[Jill]

This is way better than just the mug. But I do drink out of this mug every day. And when my husband grabs it, I'm like, maybe don't. I'm a little territorial.

[Dax Shepard]

Do you know my wife, too, she has an npr. It's called, like, the leadership circle or something. If you donate made a certain amount of money to npr, you get a special mug. And anytime I try to drink out of it, she really goes ballistic. So you're not in the leadership circle.

[Jill]

That's right. You're not in the top 50 listeners. Circle D. Don't drink out of the mug.

[Dax Shepard]

You're not an armchair honey. Well, Jill, so delightful meeting you.

[Jill]

So good to meet y'all.

[Monica Padman]

Thanks for chatting.

[Dax Shepard]

All right, take care. Can you hear us?

[Greg]

I can hear you. Can you hear me?

[Dax Shepard]

Oh, my God. Your audio is stellar Blur. Perfect, Greg. It sounds great.

[Greg]

I just got a new microphone today.

[Monica Padman]

Oh, wow.

[Dax Shepard]

Well, it's banging. We don't normally call out physical attributes because we want everyone to stay anonymous, but you definitely have a mohawk.

[Greg]

Oh, yeah, for sure.

[Dax Shepard]

Whose employee are you under that you're permitted to have a mohawk?

[Greg]

I'm actually a middle school teacher.

[Dax Shepard]

Oh, good for you. And the principal's just fine with that.

[Greg]

It gets even better, because during volleyball season, I will die just my mohawk. So next week, this is actually going to go purple pink.

[Monica Padman]

Oh, how fun.

[Dax Shepard]

I see. So this is flying under the banner of team spirit, not the exploited or dead Kennedys.

[Greg]

Nobody has said I can't do it, so I'm just going to keep doing it.

[Monica Padman]

Yeah, keep doing it.

[Dax Shepard]

Have you considered it growing really long and then doing a full that's too much.

[Greg]

Yeah, see I can't do long hair. I've had the same short haircut since like first grade.

[Dax Shepard]

Oh wow.

[Greg]

I really don't venture out very far with the hair one. I came down the first time and my wife said I don't hate it. So that's all I could ask for.

[Monica Padman]

Yeah.

[Dax Shepard]

Okay. Now the only problem I could see happening this is comes from my personal wreckage, which is I got clippers somewhere between 7th and 8th and I gave a bunch of dudes mohawks and the parents went crazy and I almost got kicked out of school. So have other boys wanted to emulate you and are the parents mad?

[Greg]

So far, no. I've had one or two that said they were going to do it. Nobody has actually committed and done. I have told a few of them I could give them a haircut but nobody has taken that challenge either.

[Dax Shepard]

Okay. On the social media disaster.

[Greg]

Yes. First of all I have to tell you, like keep talking about Cedar Point.

[Dax Shepard]

Oh, is that your religion too?

[Greg]

I grew up in Fort Wayne.

[Dax Shepard]

I know Fort Wayne really, really well. Have you ever been to Sturgis, Michigan?

[Greg]

Oh yeah, I used to play hockey. So I was all around Michigan in northern Indiana.

[Dax Shepard]

Okay, well there was a crappy motel there called the Colonial Motor Inn and that was my grandparents motel where I spent a lot of summers.

[Greg]

That's awesome. I just wanted to tell you, keep spreading that love.

[Monica Padman]

Did you hear about the new roller coaster that's coming out in 2025?

[Dax Shepard]

Yep, yep, he knows.

[Greg]

And I think I was there for the first couple of weeks of the millennium being in operation. That was our after prom place.

[Dax Shepard]

Yeah, yeah, big prom destination. All right, tell us about your social media disaster.

[Greg]

The year is 2013. My wife and I were expecting our first child. We had gone the entire pregnancy not knowing the gender. You don't get surprises very often in life. And that was the one that we wanted. My wife, she's also a teacher, goes to school one day and she's on a field trip with a bunch of kids and starts to have contractions. Finally, about 4:00, 5:00 in the evening, we decided let's go to the hospital. It was two weeks before the due date, so we assumed we're going to get kicked right back home. No reason to take much. We took our hospital bag, which ironically we had packed the night before. And so we get to the hospital, I realized, realized I don't have my camera and I had taken a bit of photography into my hobbies at the time. So I had a pretty nice camera, and I wanted to document everything. So we get to the hospital and we're going to be admitted. We're going to be there for the long haul because this is happening soon. So we called a couple of friends, they brought the camera up. Everything was great. We go through the entire labor process. My wife does amazing. Our baby is born a little after 12, and we find out we have a daughter. I'm absolutely ecstatic. This is the best thing ever. At that moment, I realized I haven't taken any pictures. So I get the very nice camera out and I just start shooting pictures.

[Dax Shepard]

Was it a Canon 60D?

[Greg]

It was a Nikon D90.

[Dax Shepard]

Oh, okay, okay, okay.

[Greg]

It was a big camera, so it was my time to shine.

[Dax Shepard]

Yeah.

[Greg]

Taking pictures left and right, everything. Documenting it all. So at the time, Facebook didn't have an app. IPhones were around, but picture quality wasn't fantastic. So I had a memory card that I had in the camera, and I took that camera and I put it into my computer. And at the time, like, I'm seeing tiny little thumbnail pictures. So I just start grabbing a few of them and I'm taking them to Facebook on the actual computer. I didn't check anything. And that was my downfall of the day. I get all this stuff loaded onto Facebook, announced to the world that we have a daughter. Everything is great. Mom did awesome. She kicked ass through the entire process. And then about 6:00, we're in this stupor of new parents. We haven't slept. Doctors, nurses are in and out all night long. And it's at that time I start to realize my phone is pretty active. I don't think anything of it. It's just notifications from Facebook.

[Dax Shepard]

You think it's just all, congratulations, no time rush here.

[Greg]

Correct. There's no reason to check my phone. I have a new kid. This is fantastic. It's about that time a nurse walks in. She has a student nurse with her. And my wife is sitting in the bed and she gets a text message. And I will never forget, she sits up, she looks at me, and she goes, I just got a text message and it says, congratulations, your vagina's on Facebook.

[Monica Padman]

No, wait, wait, wait, wait. Full vagina. I was expecting Brett.

[Greg]

Yep.

[Dax Shepard]

How did we get the vagina in the shots? Were you photographing during the delivery?

[Greg]

Nope. The picture, actually, I was shooting from my wife's head down, but the angle was still enough. That one picture, you could see the doctors still working on stitching up my wife.

[Monica Padman]

Oh, oh, no.

[Dax Shepard]

Oh, no.

[Greg]

Yep. And then the other one was an angle that you could see. It wasn't full on, but you could still see it.

[Monica Padman]

Yeah, that's true.

[Greg]

So I go to check my messages, and one of her cousins is frantically trying to get a hold of me.

[Monica Padman]

Oh, God.

[Greg]

I don't have your phone number. I don't know how to tell you this. You need to take those pictures down.

[Dax Shepard]

I don't have your phone number.

[Monica Padman]

Oh, that is so funny.

[Greg]

So I happened to put my wife's vagina on Facebook.

[Dax Shepard]

I guess if I saw those, my. My first curiosity would be like, is this intentional? They're like, embrace birth. There's nothing to be ashamed of here. This is. You know, you could make an argument that you guys were just like, no, no. You're gonna see this for exactly what it is.

[Monica Padman]

It's very new age, though. This was a while ago, right?

[Dax Shepard]

11 years ago.

[Greg]

Yeah. This is like, 2013. And we're public school teachers.

[Monica Padman]

Yeah, I forgot. Oh, my God.

[Greg]

We don't need that kind of headline on us ever.

[Dax Shepard]

Any students were following either of your.

[Greg]

Facebook page at that time? No, because we both had strict rules like, you can't follow us, you can't be friends with us on Facebook.

[Monica Padman]

Oh, wow, that is funny.

[Dax Shepard]

I'm surprised it didn't get flagged.

[Greg]

It never did. The best part was afterwards learning who had seen the pictures and who hadn't seen the pictures, because we would go to people's houses and they would laugh about it, and we would laugh about it. I mean, my wife eventually got over it and forgave me, but my best friend, who's like your best friend, Aaron Weekley, he came over, and him and his wife were sitting there. They're holding our daughter, and he won't look us in the eyes.

[Monica Padman]

Oh, boy. Oh, boy.

[Greg]

From that point on, we knew he had seen the pictures he looked for, so we just asked him. He was like, yes, I saw the pictures. Please don't talk about it.

[Dax Shepard]

Oh, wow.

[Monica Padman]

Yeah, That's a mishap for sure.

[Greg]

It was bad.

[Dax Shepard]

It's a big O.C.

[Greg]

Prompt came on. I immediately called my wife and said, I don't know if you want me to tell this to armchair expert, but I think this prompt was actually made for us.

[Dax Shepard]

I think there's added pressure when you're a school teacher. Like, you're kind of not allowed to be doing all the stuff everyone else in public would like. Do you even feel weird? Like, if you're at the bar in your town?

[Greg]

Oh, yeah.

[Dax Shepard]

They're like, why does my school teacher drink? I don't know. It's interesting.

[Greg]

The school we used to teach at, it was commonplace for us to go to a restaurant, and if we had a beer or something, we'd put it into a different cup. There's a wall there that people think that you just don't do these things.

[Dax Shepard]

It's kind of weird. It's unrealistic. And I don't know why they're supposed to be acting like they're teaching school everywhere they go.

[Monica Padman]

I mean, in some ways, I think it's helpful because if you think of your teachers as just regular people, it might be harder to think of them as authorities.

[Dax Shepard]

Yes.

[Monica Padman]

In some ways, you have to compartmentalize them as, like, something different in order to listen or care.

[Greg]

I still think of other teachers that are outwardly sharing things on social media now. And it's like, well, yeah, I would.

[Monica Padman]

Kind of like your therapist.

[Dax Shepard]

Two of my teachers got busted. They're both married, and they had an affair in a kind of small town, and it all got out. And that was really trippy as a student, going like, oh, wow, they were in the break room. Yeah.

[Greg]

This is my 18th year in education. I've seen some things.

[Dax Shepard]

Oh, Greg, this was delightful.

[Monica Padman]

Yeah, that was fun.

[Dax Shepard]

Give our love to your wife for allowing us to hear that.

[Greg]

Is it all right if she comes in?

[Dax Shepard]

Oh, please. Yeah.

[Greg]

My daughter actually wants to say hello as well.

[Monica Padman]

She's part of the show.

[Greg]

She thinks this is really, really cool. She got out of school early for this. This is my daughter.

[Monica Padman]

Hi.

[Dax Shepard]

What's her name?

[Greg]

McKenna. McKenna.

[Dax Shepard]

Are you 11?

[Emma]

Yes, I am.

[Dax Shepard]

Did you just start middle school?

[Emma]

I did.

[Dax Shepard]

How's it going?

[Emma]

Pretty good, I guess.

[Dax Shepard]

Well, middle school is rough. Is your dad a teacher at your school?

[Emma]

My mom is.

[Dax Shepard]

Your mom is.

[Monica Padman]

That's fun.

[Dax Shepard]

Is that sweet, or do you try to avoid her?

[Emma]

No, I don't try to avoid her, but she's in the elementary school.

[Dax Shepard]

Oh, okay. That's a blessing. Well, nice meeting you. Can I say hi to your mom? Thank you. You, too.

[Monica Padman]

Yeah.

[Dax Shepard]

Here you go.

[Emma]

Hello.

[Dax Shepard]

Hi, there.

[Greg]

I feel like I should be telling this story.

[Dax Shepard]

You're the victim and the star, right?

[Greg]

I can laugh Now, 11 years later.

[Dax Shepard]

Yes. Well, thanks for letting your husband tell us that story. It was fantastic.

[Greg]

Yes.

[Dax Shepard]

All right. Great meeting you guys.

[Greg]

I really appreciate this. You guys mean the world. I listen to you every day on my trip to school.

[Dax Shepard]

Cool. Oh, thank you. All right, take care, you guys.

[Monica Padman]

Bye.

[Eric]

Bye.

[Monica Padman]

Well, that was fun. Lots of good Mishaps.

[Dax Shepard]

Yeah, mishaps abound. Good.

[Monica Padman]

Scary world out there. The Internet.

[Dax Shepard]

Yeah. You're just one quick click away. You know, you're not really looking at what you're clicking at.

[Monica Padman]

You don't know what you're putting out there.

[Dax Shepard]

I'm surprised there was no text message. I guess social media, we could do text messages too. Like when I sent Kristen's mama eggplant.

[Monica Padman]

Yeah, we could.

[Dax Shepard]

All right, love you. Bye.

[Greg]

Do you want to sing a tune or something? When it was a theme song.

[Dax Shepard]

Oh, okay, great. We don't have a theme song for this new show, so here I go. Go, go. We're gonna ask some random questions and with the help of armchairs, we'll get some suggestions on the Fly Rhyme Dish. On the Fly rhyme dish. Enjoy. Follow Armchair Expert on the Wondry app, Amazon Music, or wherever you get your podcasts. You can listen to every episode of Armchair Expert early and ad free right now by joining Wondry plus in the Wondry app or on Apple Podcasts. Before you go, tell us about yourself by completing a short [e-mail] survey.

[Nick]

Hey, Armchairries, quick question for you. Have you ever stopped to wonder who came up with that bottle of Sriracha sitting in your fridge? Or why almost every house in America has a game of Monopoly stashed away somewhere? Well, this is Nick and this is Jack, and we just launched a brand new podcast called the Best Idea Yet. It's all about the surprising origin stories of the products you're obsessed with and the people who brought them to life. Like Super Mario, the best selling video game character ever. He's only a thing because Nintendo couldn't get the rights to Popeye or Jack. How about McDonald's Happy Meal? Believe it or not, the Happy Meal was dreamed up by a mom in Guatemala. Every week on the Best Idea yet, you'll discover the surprising stories behind the most viral products of all time while picking up real business insights along the way. We guarantee you'll be that person at your next dinner party, dropping knowledge bombs at the table. Follow the Best Idea yet on the Wondery app or wherever you get your podcasts. You can listen to the Best Idea yet early and ad free right now by joining Wondery Plus.