Armchair Anonymous: Thanksgiving III

Summary

Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard

Episode: Armchair Anonymous: Thanksgiving III

Release Date: November 28, 2025

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Overview

This special "Armchair Anonymous" episode, “Thanksgiving III,” dives into memorable Thanksgiving disaster stories from listeners across North America. Hosted by Dax Shepard and Monica Padman (with guests Lily Padman and Mel Robbins joining briefly), the episode captures tales of chaos, bodily mishaps, and hilarious misfortunes at the Thanksgiving table. The spirit is lighthearted and supportive, as Dax, Monica, and their guests reflect on the messiness and humor inherent in the holiday.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. The Hosts' Holiday Philosophy

Timestamps: [00:27]–[00:53]

• Dax and Monica express their genuine love for the holidays.
• Empathy for people who don’t enjoy holiday festivities:
  • Quote: “Can you imagine if you didn't like it and then everyone around you loved it? That would really compound it.” — Dax [00:38]
• They introduce the theme: Thanksgiving disasters, and their love for celebrating human messiness.

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2. Jenna from Naperville: "The Liquor Splash Catastrophe"

Timestamps: [03:24]–[10:25]

Story Highlights:

• Jenna recounts a 20-year-old Thanksgiving incident in a massive Midwestern family (her father is one of 12 siblings).
• Setting: Aunt Sally’s first time hosting, obsessively protective over her new house with white carpets.
• Uncle (an alcoholic at the time) drinks excessively — 4 liters of Diet Coke & a fifth of Jack Daniels — before dinner.
• At dinner, uncle projectile vomits three liters across the table, setting off a chain-reaction among children and resulting chaos.
• Aunt Sally immediately prioritizes her carpet, orders everyone out, discards all the food, and shampoos carpets.
• Consequences: The uncle is unfazed, no real apology is made, and the family jokes about it for decades.
• Aunt Sally’s marriage ended two years later.
• The uncle got sober, but not until a decade after the incident.

Notable Quotes:

• “Because it's all liquid. The splash zone, let's say, was quite large across the table.” — Jenna [07:19]
• “Thanksgiving's one day. These carpets are for life.” — Dax [08:10]
• “We continue to make fun of him to this day. Nobody wants to sit by him at any of the holidays...” — Jenna [09:27]
• Reflection: Monica notes, “It's probably hardest to hit your rock bottom around family because there is some cushion and built-in forgiveness.” [09:42]

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3. Caitlin from Kentucky: "Slippery When Hammed"

Timestamps: [12:08]–[25:02], [21:44]–[25:01]

Story Highlights:

• Caitlin shares her first Thanksgiving hosting as a newlywed, combining her West Virginia and Oklahoma families.
• Ham, prepared in a foil pan, is set on the counter, creating a logistical struggle between Caitlin (wants a heating mat underneath) and her husband (worried pan will buckle).
• When he’s forced to move it, hot juice floods the kitchen, scalds his legs, and turns the floor into an ice rink.
• Multiple family members slip, including Caitlin and her father; chaos erupts as everyone tries to help but just keeps slipping.
• After cleaning up sticky, hammy chaos, the husband changes pants — but keeps his slippery boots, leading to a fall down the stairs.
• Despite burns and bruises, the family salvages the ham and dinner continues.
• Caitlin expresses gratitude to Dax and Monica for their help coping with addiction in her family (a touching, heartfelt moment).

Notable Quotes:

• “Those pans are like IKEA furniture. He starts moving it around. It's gon like, taco, and all this shit's gonna leak out.” — Dax [15:09]
• “Gallons of hot juice down him. Oh, it's scalding hot because he had just pulled it out of the oven.” — Caitlin [15:56]
• “Where do the wise. Maybe no disposable trays. Maybe no heating pads this Thanksgiving.” — Caitlin [23:01]
• “Can I throw something out there? Still use the disposable tray, but put a cookie sheet under it...” — Dax [23:07]

Touching Moment:

• Caitlin shares how “Day 7” podcast helped her during her husband’s treatment for addiction:
  • “Your Day 7 podcast is my lifeline. …I wouldn’t have made it through this year without you guys.” [25:13]

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4. Liz from Southern California: "Thanksgiving: The Literal Sh*tshow"

Timestamps: [26:19]–[37:18]

Story Highlights:

• Liz describes hosting Thanksgiving in a cramped 800 sq ft apartment for 12 people after moving back from abroad.
• Family includes her diabetic grandmother (special dietary prep).
• Mid-dinner, grandmother falls ill and soils Liz’s bed, leading to frantic cleaning and strategic attempts at maintaining dignity as the apartment fills with guests.
• Situation spirals: grandmother, then mother, and then other guests are all hit by a severe gastrointestinal bug (norovirus).
• “Out both ends” scenarios ensue throughout the single bathroom.
• The rest of the weekend, guests are sick; Liz herself falls ill at the zoo, and eventually everyone except her fiancé is bedridden.
• Postscript: They vow to never host 12 people in one bathroom again.

Notable Quotes:

• “About halfway through dinner, my grandma starts to note that she’s not feeling so hot…” — Liz [28:30]
• “Your grandma didn’t make it. And I was like, what?” — Liz [29:10]
• “So now eight people still trying to eat dinner smells like human shit.” — Liz [30:02]
• “This is a norovirus situation.” — Monica [33:11]
• “We will never host an event again. That’s smart. It was a literal shit show.” — Liz [35:36]
• “The diabetes was a red herring.” — Dax [35:42]

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5. Devin from Ontario: "The Canadian Thanksgiving Tent Explosion"

Timestamps: [42:03]–[53:10]

Story Highlights:

• Devin details a Canadian Thanksgiving tradition: 80 people camping in the wilderness, hunting partridge, setting up a kitchen tent, and drinking heavily.
• In 2012, after drinking, Devin turns in early. When her mother can’t find her, a frantic (and fruitless) search by flashlight follows until she’s discovered sleeping in her tent.
• Later, while sleeping on an air mattress with family, her dad attempts to light a propane heater after letting gas fill the tent:
  • “The only way I can really describe it is that the birth of a new star happens localized entirely within our tiny tent.” — Devin [49:00]
• A fireball destroys mattresses, sleeping bags, and tents—but everyone escapes unharmed.
• The next day, Mom’s anger at Devin’s disappearance evaporates upon seeing Dad’s singed appearance and the wrecked tent.
• Honorable mentions: Uncle falls into bonfire, another uncle nearly severs his thumb, another falls on a chainsaw (but survives).
• Family pride and ongoing chaos frame Devin’s retelling, which Dax and Monica compare to a reality show.

Notable Quotes:

• “It's basically a bowling pin on two legs, because it is about as stupid. You don't even really have to hunt them…” (re: partridges) — Devin [44:00]
• “I'm happier to hear that there was an explosion versus the propane was just left on all night and everyone got carbonated poisoning.” — Dax [51:10]
• “You guys need to consider making a reality show based on just this weekend.” — Dax [52:33]

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Memorable and Notable Moments

• Dax’s comic riff on comparing Chicago and Detroit’s drinking cultures: “If you’re walking around at 2 in the morning, every 10th person’s gonna throw up in the street.” [10:39]
• Monica’s recurring empathy for hosts, family messes, and the stress of trying to ‘do it all’ on Thanksgiving.
• Running theme: recognizing the chaos, humility, and humor in shared human traditions.
• Meta-moment: Monica and Dax encourage listeners going through disasters to “take notes”—“at least you’ll have a story to call in with next year.” [37:37]
• Gratitude and connection: Repeated appreciation for the show’s impact—from personal shoutouts to expressions of community among listeners.

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Timestamps by Story

• Opening and holiday intro: [00:27]–[00:53]
• Jenna (Naperville): [03:24]–[10:25]
• Caitlin (Kentucky): [12:08]–[25:02]
• Liz (SoCal): [26:19]–[37:18]
• Devin (Ontario): [42:03]–[53:10]

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Key Takeaways

• Holidays are uniquely prone to disaster, but these moments become family lore.
• Grace, humor, and perspective are essential tools for surviving—and even enjoying—life’s messier moments.
• The podcast provides a space for catharsis, laughter, and building community out of embarrassing misfortune.
• Support and empathy (especially regarding addiction and family struggle) are central themes.
• “Disasters” are often retold as treasured, bonding experiences—painful at the time, but hilarious in hindsight.

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Closing

The episode is a riotous, heartfelt celebration of imperfection—with Dax, Monica, and listeners finding camaraderie in chaos. If your Thanksgiving implodes, you’re in good company, and you’ll likely have a story to share next year.

Transcript

[Dax Shepard]

Wondry plus subscribers can listen to Armchair Expert early and ad free right now. Join Wondry plus in the Wondry app or on Apple Podcasts or you can listen for free wherever you get your podcasts. Welcome, welcome welcome to Armchair Anonymous. I'm and I'm joined by Lily Padman.

[Mel Robbins]

Hi.

[Dax Shepard]

It's that time of year. The seasons are upon us.

[Monica Padman]

It's holiday time.

[Dax Shepard]

It's the holidays. I love the holidays.

[Monica Padman]

Me too. Me too. It makes me feel very, very dusty.

[Dax Shepard]

I feel bad for Bah Humbuggers A I'm sad that they're missing out on the joy I have. But then additionally, can you imagine if you didn't like it and then everyone around you loved it? That would really compound it.

[Monica Padman]

That'd be hard.

[Dax Shepard]

It'd be really hard. But that's not us.

[Jenna (Guest from Naperville)]

Luckily.

[Dax Shepard]

We love it.

[Monica Padman]

Love it.

[Dax Shepard]

Yeah, of course. For this holiday of giving thanks, we have Thanksgiving disasters. Thanksgiving's always good for some disasters and we have them today. Please enjoy Thanksgiving disasters. We are supported by Ms. Now. Whether it's breaking news, exclusive reporting, or in depth analysis, Ms. now keeps people at the heart of everything they do, empowering Americans with the information and insights that can bring us together. Home to the Rachel Maddow Show, Morning Joe, the Briefing with Jen Psaki and voices you know and trust. Ms. NOW is your source for news, opinion and the world. Their name is new, but you'll find the same commitment to truth and community that you've relied on for years. They'll continue to cover the day's most important stories, ask the tough questions, and explain how it all impacts you. Same mission, new name, Ms. now. Learn more at Ms. Now. This show is sponsored by Liquid IV. You know what? I've been feeling it lately. That post summer crash where you're trying to get back into your fall routine but your energy just isn't there. Maybe it's the shorter days, maybe it's just life. But I was definitely dragging. Then I remembered I had stocked up on Liquid IV and it's been exactly what I've needed. Their new energy multiplier, Sugar free hydrating energy formula has natural caffeine plus electrolytes so I get the energy boost I need without the crash or jitters. Just one stick and 16 ounces of water hydrates better than water alone and it's always non gmo, vegan and gluten free.

[Monica Padman]

I live off of Liquid IV because I notoriously don't drink enough water and so I have to use it. So I'm getting that extra Hydration.

[Dax Shepard]

And you're addicted as I recall, to the sugar free strawberry kiwi.

[Monica Padman]

I do like that.

[Dax Shepard]

That's a tasty one. Don't just power through your day. Ditch the glitch with zero sugar and zero crash from Liquid IV tear pour live more. Go to liquidiv.com and get 20 off your first order with code DAX at checkout. That's 20 off your first order with code [e-mail]. come and go good times, take them slow My life, I had them both Remember one thing you gotta know I'm gonna keep on shining.

[Monica Padman]

Hello.

[Dax Shepard]

Hi. What fake name are we gonna go with?

[Jenna (Guest from Naperville)]

Whatever you wanna give me.

[Dax Shepard]

Okay. I'm looking at you. You've got kind of a cool dark vibe about you.

[Jenna (Guest from Naperville)]

That's just cause I'm in my dark closet.

[Dax Shepard]

No, it's a good vibe.

[Monica Padman]

I love Jenna.

[Dax Shepard]

Oh, great. I love it.

[Monica Padman]

You know how I got there? Tell me Dark vibes Wednesday, Jenna Ortega.

[Dax Shepard]

Ooh, very nice. And you seem to have behind you a shirt that I've been looking for for 15 years. Right, that's a checkered button down lumberjackie shirt.

[Jenna (Guest from Naperville)]

Me, my husband and both of my kids all have matching shirts of that actually.

[Dax Shepard]

Oh, I want to hang with you guys. I hope you went to a cider mill. Matching every weekend.

[Jenna (Guest from Naperville)]

Yes.

[Dax Shepard]

Okay, so you're somewhere in the Midwesty.

[Jenna (Guest from Naperville)]

Yeah, I'm actually in Naperville. So Rob would know it.

[Monica Padman]

He would know it very well. He would.

[Dax Shepard]

Inside and out. Some would say.

[Jenna (Guest from Naperville)]

Yes.

[Dax Shepard]

Okay, so you have a Thanksgiving disaster store or just Thanksgiving? I don't know if it'll be a disaster.

[Jenna (Guest from Naperville)]

It's a disaster.

[Dax Shepard]

Oh, okay, great. You could have won the lottery on Thanksgiving. I guess that'd be worthy of a.

[Jenna (Guest from Naperville)]

Story that would have been a preferable story to this one.

[Dax Shepard]

Oh, great.

[Jenna (Guest from Naperville)]

So I grew up in the Midwest and I have a very big family. So this story takes place about 20 years ago and my dad is one of 12 and eight of them are girls. Lots of estrogen.

[Devin (Guest from Ontario)]

Yeah.

[Jenna (Guest from Naperville)]

So because of this, our holidays were always crazy chaotic.

[Dax Shepard]

Yeah. What do you guys rent an arena to have a Thanksgiving? How the fuck do you accommodate this many people? People.

[Jenna (Guest from Naperville)]

Sometimes we would try to like break off into groups, but that always had its own drama of who was going where and when. So about 20 years ago, my aunt, I'm going to call her my aunt Sally, is newly married and had just bought her first big girl house. So she wanted to host Thanksgiving. And this was a typical 90s house. So there's carpet everywhere. White carpet, including in the dining room and the living room. And pretty much everywhere besides the kitchen and the bathrooms, there's just white carpeting on the floor. Ambitious, especially for hosting your first Thanksgiving. And there's about 35 people there. And my aunt is very high strung, so think Monica from Friends is very much how my aunt is.

[Monica Padman]

And Monica from Armchair Expert.

[Jenna (Guest from Naperville)]

And so she's spending a lot of the time making sure coasters are under drinks and sweeping up crumbs to make sure nothing is staining anything in her brand new house. So we all get there, it's probably around noon and we are not eating until five or six. So there's been five hours of just mingling, eating, drinking. And for my one uncle who's an alcoholic at this point, he's been having liquid snacks up until we sit down for dinner. And he's had between 1 and 22 liter bottles of Coke with Jax. So his drink of choice was Jack and diet, that's Dax's.

[Dax Shepard]

So he went through 4 liters of coca Cola, which means he went through a fifth in change of Jack.

[Monica Padman]

What's normally the ratio if you're responsible.

[Dax Shepard]

A third Jack, two thirds Coke. If you're pretty normal, half, half. If you're like Erin and I, you want like 70% Jack, 30% Coke, splash of Coke.

[Monica Padman]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Jenna (Guest from Naperville)]

We're in her dining room. There's a huge table, several tables like pushed together, pulled from other areas of the house and you still have people sitting on couches. So we sit down to dinner. My uncle happens to be sitting right across from me and in slow motion I see him just start to go, oh, no. And he proceeds to throw up probably around three liters. Oh, all over the table.

[Dax Shepard]

You 100 could smell the Jack Daniels immediately, couldn't you?

[Caitlin (Guest from Kentucky)]

100.

[Dax Shepard]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh, come on, Uncle Turkey, whatever we're.

[Monica Padman]

Calling it, keep it together.

[Jenna (Guest from Naperville)]

Because it's all liquid. The splash zone, let's say, was quite large across the table. And of course now there's 35 other people there, all age ranges. And so two of my young cousins proceed to also.

[Dax Shepard]

Oh, it's contagious.

[Jenna (Guest from Naperville)]

At this point, everyone is screaming. It's just pure chaos. And nobody handled it well. So everyone is just trying to save any food.

[Monica Padman]

Poor Aunt Sarah Sally, the whole family.

[Dax Shepard]

Just hosed down the whole dining room.

[Jenna (Guest from Naperville)]

Her response is she just starts screaming at everyone to clear out the dining room because she has to shampoo the carpets right then.

[Monica Padman]

Oh, oh, oh, wow.

[Dax Shepard]

Yeah.

[Jenna (Guest from Naperville)]

She's like, move the furniture, throw away the food?

[Dax Shepard]

Yeah. Thanksgiving's one day. These carpets are for life.

[Monica Padman]

I guess that's true. You don't want it to seep in.

[Jenna (Guest from Naperville)]

Smell of Jack Daniels remains forever. Eventually we get all the furniture cleared out of the dining room. All the food just goes in trash bags that gets thrown away.

[Dax Shepard]

Oh, it all got pitched. Nothing was salvageable. And what's the uncle's reaction?

[Jenna (Guest from Naperville)]

This was not anywhere close to like the rock bottom for him. This is probably mid range of getting to rock bottom. He just kind of like left the room and was like, oh, my stomach's empty.

[Monica Padman]

Pouring another drink pretty much. Oh, boy.

[Jenna (Guest from Naperville)]

We ended up leaving. We got pizza on the way home. And my Aunt Sally's marriage did not last for more than two years.

[Dax Shepard]

Oh, well, that's a big family to take on.

[Monica Padman]

Wait, the new house? Aunt Sally's husband?

[Jenna (Guest from Naperville)]

Oh, no, no, no, no.

[Dax Shepard]

It's her terrible family. And this guy's like, I'm out.

[Caitlin (Guest from Kentucky)]

Her brother.

[Monica Padman]

That sucks. He ruined a marriage along with the Thanksgiving.

[Dax Shepard]

Did he get sober at some point?

[Jenna (Guest from Naperville)]

He is sober now. This was 20 years ago. It took probably about 10 more years to get there.

[Monica Padman]

Okay, good for him.

[Dax Shepard]

And so my follow up question is, did people receive an amends for this Thanksgiving disaster? To your knowledge, did anyone get a phone call like, hey, I'm doing my nine step?

[Jenna (Guest from Naperville)]

I don't think so. But I mean, we continue to make fun of him to this day. Nobody wants to sit by him at any of the holidays because everybody's like, we don't need to like yak all over the food. And he's like, thanks guys.

[Dax Shepard]

This is kind of the beauty of families. It's like you get some fuck ups.

[Monica Padman]

It's also probably hardest to hit your rock bottom around family because there is some cushion and built in forgiveness. A little bit maybe. I mean, I don't know.

[Dax Shepard]

Or I imagine too, it just ends up confirming whatever story he already had about his family. Like, of course they hate me. Like some. I'm sure he was a victim by the end of the night is my guess.

[Monica Padman]

I'm sick.

[Dax Shepard]

Yeah. Because I don't have a big house to host. All the insecurities start coming out.

[Monica Padman]

Oh, wow.

[Dax Shepard]

Well, I can't believe it caused a chain reaction.

[Jenna (Guest from Naperville)]

It was horrible. Three people in total puked all over the food.

[Monica Padman]

I imagine, like, take Cutter.

[Dax Shepard]

I bet you people running out of the room into the kitchen before they get hit with p. Wow, Jenna, that was great.

[Caitlin (Guest from Kentucky)]

That was great.

[Jenna (Guest from Naperville)]

Thank you for your time. I really appreciate it.

[Dax Shepard]

Take care.

[Monica Padman]

Bye.

[Dax Shepard]

Yeah. For real People from Chicago are very fun and they drink a lot. It's a very drinky city. I feel like they're in a tie with Detroit, but I don't know.

[Monica Padman]

I bet we could look it up.

[Dax Shepard]

What I can say with ultimate certainty is Chicago is the type of town that if you're walking around at 2 in the morning, every 10th person's gonna throw up in the street. It's that kind of like overserving's a standard. I've seen someone pass out on the street with shit out of his butt. Sure, sure, yeah, sure.

[Monica Padman]

I saw that.

[Dax Shepard]

Spring break.

[Monica Padman]

Yeah, I was gonna say, like that's like college town behavior, you see. But it's not a college town.

[Dax Shepard]

No, no. And the people aren't in college that are.

[Caitlin (Guest from Kentucky)]

That's what I mean.

[Dax Shepard]

Yeah, I guess that's what I mean.

[Caitlin (Guest from Kentucky)]

Caitlin, Hi. Yes, hi.

[Dax Shepard]

What is this cute shirt you have on?

[Caitlin (Guest from Kentucky)]

It's a little cowboy hat.

[Devin (Guest from Ontario)]

Cute.

[Caitlin (Guest from Kentucky)]

Well, I'm in Louisville, Kentucky, so I feel like it was appropriate.

[Dax Shepard]

I'm becoming increasingly interested in Kentucky.

[Caitlin (Guest from Kentucky)]

You're close with Nashville now, so you gotta come up and I watched that.

[Dax Shepard]

Triple Crown show on Netflix.

[Caitlin (Guest from Kentucky)]

Oh, how good was that?

[Dax Shepard]

It's so good in that place could not be more beautiful in the summer and sp spring. It's just green.

[Caitlin (Guest from Kentucky)]

That show put me into horse racing in a way that's like dangerous.

[Monica Padman]

You ever go to the Derby?

[Caitlin (Guest from Kentucky)]

Oh, yeah, we've went a couple of times. It's like a little pricey now these days. It's more fun. The couple of days before. That's the days I recommend they call like the Thursday before therapy.

[Monica Padman]

Oh, Derby.

[Dax Shepard]

And what's happening there? Just younger horses are running or something?

[Caitlin (Guest from Kentucky)]

I think so. It's just a locals day. It's still dress up, but it's like two dollar beers, live music, couple dozen.

[Dax Shepard]

Fights in the parking lot.

[Caitlin (Guest from Kentucky)]

Oh, yeah.

[Monica Padman]

I feel like fur is really miss an opportunity to do a collab.

[Dax Shepard]

What is Furby?

[Monica Padman]

Remember Furby's sort of like the high school Labubus. They were these little things and they had little owl noses, beaks.

[Caitlin (Guest from Kentucky)]

They would just say their names over and over. They would just say Furby a lot in the middle of the night. They're a little haunting.

[Monica Padman]

Yeah, but they were a big deal for a minute.

[Caitlin (Guest from Kentucky)]

There's got to be some crossover to happen with the Derby there, though. Bring them back.

[Liz (Guest from Southern California)]

Bring it back.

[Dax Shepard]

A special Derby. Furby, obviously.

[Monica Padman]

Exactly. Limited a dish.

[Dax Shepard]

Now you have a Thanksgiving story.

[Caitlin (Guest from Kentucky)]

I do. This was last year. Oh, good.

[Dax Shepard]

Fresh.

[Caitlin (Guest from Kentucky)]

So my husband and I. It was our first year as a married couple, and we're hosting Thanksgiving. We're super excited about it, of course, and, you know, our families. Mine's coming in from West Virginia. His is coming in from Oklahoma. So it's just a big soiree. We had hosted holidays and everything before, but there's a weird pressure that comes with Thanksgiving.

[Dax Shepard]

Enormous. You got all of a sudden, be a chef.

[Caitlin (Guest from Kentucky)]

All props to my husband. He's an amazing cook, and he has got a little bit of embarrass parts in this story, but I want to preface this with props to him. But anyways, he is on the meat. I'm more of a sides girl, so I like the mashed potatoes, the deviled eggs, the rolls. I like to do the entertaining part of stuff. I'm not necessarily. Let's go stare at the meat. Guys love to talk about two things. What interstate did you take to get here and, like, how did you cook the meat?

[Dax Shepard]

We're simple.

[Caitlin (Guest from Kentucky)]

He's doing a turkey, he's doing a ham. There's a smoker involved. There's a grill involved, there's oven involved. A lot of things happening. And, you know, I'm just having fun until an hour or so before is really when the sides need to have some action. And so the last place the ham ends up is in the oven. There's so much juice in one of those aluminum foil pans. So it's those big, like, disposable ones. So big ham in that, but just, like, a ton of butter and a ton of juice that it's sitting in. And I'm working on the sides in the kitchen. And a key point of this is I had just bought this heating pad that you put on a counter, and it keeps the pots and pans warm. And I thought in my head, because there's this pressure of hosting, oh, we're going to need this, because we got to keep the sides warm. Not thinking the sides are going to be warm, like you're cooking them in that moment, and then everybody's just eating. There's not this, like, big break.

[Dax Shepard]

I stand by your plan. I don't think it was crazy.

[Caitlin (Guest from Kentucky)]

Yeah, yeah, that helps me a little bit. So I had planned, you know, the meats over here, the sides are over here. There's a whole flow to it that I'd not really told anybody, which is, like, most of how life goes. And mine and my husband's arguments is, you know, I've got this plan, and I've never told him the plan. And he just has to follow the plan. And so in my head, meats here, sides here. So I was like, oh, Drew, we need to set up my heating pad over here. And he's, you know, buzzer's going off. Gotta get the turkey from outside. Gotta get the ham from the oven. He's moving around, and I'm like, I need you to set up this tray really quick right here. He just put it somewhere. And I was like, oh, that's not where I meant for it to be. But he had just pulled the ham out of the oven, and he had sat it on the counter immediately. Cause, you know, it's super hot and just, like, really heavy. He sat it immediately down, and I'm like, that's not where the ham goes. That's where my heating pad goes.

[Dax Shepard]

Sure, sure. Those pans are like IKEA furniture. He starts moving it around. It's gon like, taco, and all this shit's gonna leak out. He can't be moving it a lot. It's probably got two moves in it.

[Monica Padman]

Really True.

[Caitlin (Guest from Kentucky)]

That was his exact argument. He was like, well, we can't move it. Like, it's already bent a little bit.

[Dax Shepard]

It's home.

[Caitlin (Guest from Kentucky)]

This is where it's saying. And I'm like, well, I don't know what to tell you. We gotta move it.

[Monica Padman]

Aesthetics are key on Thanksgiving.

[Caitlin (Guest from Kentucky)]

I'm a Virgo like you, Monica. So I was like, the flow has to be right. For our family, who's eaten with us.

[Dax Shepard]

Hundreds of times, the impression's over.

[Caitlin (Guest from Kentucky)]

My in laws were there. I didn't have to impress them. I'm already married. Like, I don't know what was doing. I was like, drew, you just have to move it. So he's like, fine. He picks it up, it immediately buckles.

[Dax Shepard]

Y. Y. Absolutely.

[Caitlin (Guest from Kentucky)]

Gallons of hot juice down him. Oh, it's scalding hot. Because he had just pulled it out of the oven.

[Monica Padman]

Oh.

[Jenna (Guest from Naperville)]

Oh.

[Dax Shepard]

A medical emergency.

[Caitlin (Guest from Kentucky)]

He was immediately screaming. Immediately. Every curse word from A to Z is coming out. And not at me directly, but I could hear it.

[Dax Shepard]

Oh, I would have been like, you made me move this.

[Monica Padman]

You would picked up the ham and.

[Dax Shepard]

Thrown it through the glass window or something.

[Caitlin (Guest from Kentucky)]

If it weren't, like, on the ground in the tray, I'm sure it was coming at me. I'm like. Immediately like, oh, God, let me get a towel and start to help pick this up. And I'm like, are you okay? I take one step and just completely eat it. The kitchen is a complete ice rink. So all our family Come rushing into the kitchen from the living room from the other side. Because I. Our kitchen's kind of in the center of the house. My dad's like, what's happening here? What do we need to do? He sees and just immediately gets to work. He's like, let me get some towels. And then he falls.

[Devin (Guest from Ontario)]

I was about to say.

[Monica Padman]

I was about to say, no, no one should come in.

[Dax Shepard]

It's like when there's broken glass.

[Caitlin (Guest from Kentucky)]

Everyone's immediate reaction was like, let me help. But Drew and I are in so much pain from falling. And, I mean, he's still screaming. His legs are scalding with burns, and so no one has time to say, don't walk.

[Monica Padman]

Yeah, Gl.

[Caitlin (Guest from Kentucky)]

So my dad's doing, like, break dance moves essentially, to, like, stay off the ground.

[Dax Shepard]

We are supported by T mobile 5G home Internet. Like everyone, home Internet is our life. And there's nothing worse than when it slows down.

[Monica Padman]

Oh, I know. Especially when you're doing something important like editing this show.

[Dax Shepard]

Well, actually, there's one worse thing. Waiting around all day for the cable guy to show up to install it.

[Monica Padman]

I want those five hours back.

[Dax Shepard]

Fortunately, T mobile's got home Internet. They have fast speeds, and it sets up easily in 15 minutes with just one cord.

[Monica Padman]

Anyone can do it, Even me.

[Dax Shepard]

Hey, we were first in on T mobile's home Internet. We were using it up in the attic.

[Jenna (Guest from Naperville)]

Yeah.

[Monica Padman]

If you recall, it powers this very show.

[Dax Shepard]

Yes. It's so reliable. And when you've got a podcast full of valuable insights about human nature and. And poop jokes, you need that.

[Monica Padman]

We all need that.

[Dax Shepard]

Oh, and the low price is guaranteed for 5 years.

[Monica Padman]

5 years. Gotta respect to LTR.

[Dax Shepard]

Guarantees monthly price of fixed wireless 5G Internet data exclusions like taxes and fees applies. Service delivered via 5G network speeds vary due to factor affecting cellular networks. Check availability and guarantee exclusions and [e-mail] homeinternet we are supported by Allstate. You know what's smart? Checking Allstate first for a quote that could save you hundreds on car insurance. You know what's not smart? Not checking your phone's volume before blasting your morning pump up playlist in the office break room? Or not checking that your laptop camera's off before joining the meeting in your robe or something I'm a little too familiar with. Not checking your grocery list before heading to the store and realizing you bought everything except what you needed. Yeah, yeah, checking first is smart. So check Allstate first for a quote that could save you Hundreds. You're in good hands with Allstate. Potential savings vary, subject to terms, condition and availability. Allstate North American Insurance Company and affiliates, Northbrook, Illinois. We are supported by ServiceNow. You know what I love? Not having to do boring, repetitive stuff. I want to focus on the interesting conversations, the creative work, the things that really matter to me. And apparently that's exactly what ServiceNow does for entire organizations. AI is only as powerful as the platform it's built into. Here's the thing. ServiceNow has basically become the operating system of AI. Instead of Frankensteining together different tools, ServiceNow unifies people, data, workflows, and AI connecting every corner of your business. That's why it's no surprise that more than 85% of the Fortune 500 use the ServiceNow AI platform. We're talking HR, customer service, every department you can think of. And here's what's cool. They got Idris Elba as their brand ambassador. I mean, come on, if you're gonna have someone represent at your company, might as well be the guy who's basically the CEO everyone wants to be, right? With AI agents working together autonomously, anyone in any department can focus on the work that matters Most. Learn how ServiceNow puts AI to work for people. At ServiceNow.com we are supported by Primal Kitchen. Here's something I've learned about cooking. I'm not claiming to be some master chef here, but the little choices you make can actually have a big impact. Like the oil you cook with. With Primal Kitchen, Pure avocado oil is literally the one oil you can use for everything. And I mean everything. Grilling, sauteing, baking, air, frying, marinating. You name it, this oil can handle it. It's got this light, neutral flavor that just lets your actual cooking shine through. Plus, it has a high smoke point, so it can stand up to whatever heat you're throwing at it. What I love about Primal Kitchen is they're all about making real food exciting and delicious. This avocado oil is pure, quality tested, never blended with other oil oils. It's got those healthy fats from avocados so you can feel good about what you're cooking with. Whether it's breakfast, lunch, or dinner. You never have to worry about what oil to use. It's easier than ever to find Primal Kitchen Pure avocado oil because it's now available at Walmart. You can find Primal Kitchen in Walmart stores or online at walmart.com and primalkitchen.com.

[Caitlin (Guest from Kentucky)]

Finally, we get towels and clean it up and everything. Gets secure and Drew goes upstairs and he's like, I'm gonna change. He's so furious. His legs are just burning. I go upstairs to do my wifely duty of a little an apology. Just say I see where I was in the wrong here. I had my goal, but I see it wasn't your goal.

[Monica Padman]

Our goals didn't quite line up.

[Caitlin (Guest from Kentucky)]

Pulled his pants down to change pants. And they're just attached to his thighs essentially because just made the fabric go into his leg. It's got like second degree burns happening here. And so we wrap him and put some Neosporin and thing on it, like whatever we can. Cuz I was like, well, let's just go eat. We're not ruining this. But he puts on a different pair of pants. The issue is he put on the same pair of boots that he was wearing while we were in the kitchen. So as we go to go back downstairs, Slippery sue just fell completely down down the stairs.

[Dax Shepard]

He's like Charlie Brown in this story. It's just hits keep on coming.

[Monica Padman]

And at that point did you overdo him? And you were like, oh my God. So this one definitely wasn't my fault.

[Caitlin (Guest from Kentucky)]

Crazy that you put on back the same pair of cowboy boots.

[Dax Shepard]

They don't get great traction when they're not covered in oil.

[Caitlin (Guest from Kentucky)]

Where do the wise. Maybe no disposable trays. Maybe no heating pads this Thanksgiving.

[Dax Shepard]

Can I throw something out there? Still use the disposable tray, but put a cookie sheet under it so that when you're picking it up and moving it, you're actually moving the cookie sheet.

[Monica Padman]

Yeah, you we want some stability under that thing.

[Dax Shepard]

And ditch the cowboy boots on this day. You can get right back in them the next day.

[Monica Padman]

And also I would say don't ditch the heating pad. I think the heating pad's great.

[Dax Shepard]

Nothing went wrong with it. Right. Other than it caused all this.

[Caitlin (Guest from Kentucky)]

You know what's crazy though, is like I've not ever brought it out again. It just makes us all think of it.

[Dax Shepard]

Yeah, you might want to get that over to Goodwill. Ruin someone else's holidays. Maybe it's got like a jinx on it. It's not.

[Monica Padman]

Listen, it was put in the wrong. Wrong spot. And if it had been put in the right spot at the beginning, then maybe this whole thing wouldn't have happened.

[Dax Shepard]

We wouldn't be on this call right now.

[Monica Padman]

That's right.

[Caitlin (Guest from Kentucky)]

It was one of those ads that I got fed to me and it was like perfect hosting. And I'm like, I'm the perfect Host, Let me buy this.

[Monica Padman]

I need it.

[Dax Shepard]

Yeah, Instagram.

[Caitlin (Guest from Kentucky)]

Oh, yeah, they know.

[Dax Shepard]

They're good, man. They're good.

[Caitlin (Guest from Kentucky)]

And it's just a click away.

[Monica Padman]

So easy.

[Dax Shepard]

Yeah. Really figured it out. Was the ham salvageable? Do we eat the ham? Ham?

[Caitlin (Guest from Kentucky)]

It was. Some had to get shaved. The parts that hit the floor got a little cut off, but, you know, the rest of it made it.

[Monica Padman]

Yum.

[Dax Shepard]

And then my second question is, here's the tricky thing about the juice in that tray. At first, quite slippery, but I'm imagining after you toweled it all up, now it's sticky city in there.

[Caitlin (Guest from Kentucky)]

Yeah. I mean, it was days of our house smelling like ham and just days of being sticky.

[Dax Shepard]

You got to get like an industrial degreaser probably to cut through that.

[Caitlin (Guest from Kentucky)]

We cleaned it. It felt like every day for like two weeks, and we were still fine areas that needed it.

[Dax Shepard]

Yeah. Maybe the move would have been to throw a whole bag of kitty litter down on the ground like an oil spill for a car, and then sweep it up because.

[Monica Padman]

Did it have some sort of like brown sugar glaze on it or something?

[Dax Shepard]

Yeah, this is in the south, girl. It was as good as a ham could get.

[Monica Padman]

I imagine it with the brown sugar glaze. So then the sugary. Yeah, that's adding another sticky element.

[Caitlin (Guest from Kentucky)]

I need one right now.

[Dax Shepard]

I'm starving for a big honey baked ham now. Ham, ham, ham. Oink.

[Monica Padman]

I love ham. Wow, that was great.

[Dax Shepard]

Yeah, this sounds like a fun family.

[Caitlin (Guest from Kentucky)]

We have a good time at all holidays. I just need to tell you guys, I need to say a quick little thank you to both of you. Your Day 7 podcast is my lifeline. It's everything to me. My husband is an addict and went to treatment earlier this year, so we're sober this year. Wonderful. I wouldn't have made it through this year without you guys. Dax, you truly gave me insight into an addict that I did not know before. And I. I just can't sing your praises enough. And then, Monica, thank you so much for shining a light on what it's like to love an addict and how to love them through it and get through lies and manipulation and all of those things, but still show compassion and love and be everything that an addict needs. And I just think that you need a little love for that because the day that he went to treatment, I listened to your guys day seven, like three times in a row. Like, I just kept pressing play. You guys mean the world to me and we're a of saving our marriage. So thank you, guys.

[Dax Shepard]

Oh, fuck thank you, Caitlin. Have a great Thanksgiving this year and wonderful meeting you.

[Devin (Guest from Ontario)]

Bye.

[Dax Shepard]

Hi. Hi. Can you hear us?

[Liz (Guest from Southern California)]

I can. Can you hear me?

[Dax Shepard]

Yes. Do you have a fake name in mind?

[Liz (Guest from Southern California)]

Yes. I'm gonna go by Liz if I can.

[Dax Shepard]

Wonderful. Let's just build out the whole backstory of this fake name. Is Liz short for Elizabeth?

[Liz (Guest from Southern California)]

Yes.

[Dax Shepard]

See, that one little follow up question cemented my opinion that you have an actual person in mind.

[Liz (Guest from Southern California)]

I do.

[Monica Padman]

Oh, nice investigation.

[Dax Shepard]

Good detective work. Good job. Okay, Liz, are you allowed to tell us where you're at or at least the area of the country?

[Liz (Guest from Southern California)]

Yeah, I'm in Southern California.

[Dax Shepard]

Oh, SoCal.

[Monica Padman]

Close by.

[Dax Shepard]

Close by. Are you behind us?

[Liz (Guest from Southern California)]

Not quite.

[Dax Shepard]

Okay. Okay, great. So you, Liz, have a Thanksgiving disaster story.

[Liz (Guest from Southern California)]

This takes place just last Thanksgiving.

[Dax Shepard]

Okay. Another freshie.

[Monica Padman]

Last Thanksgiving was a big time for.

[Liz (Guest from Southern California)]

People still in SoCal. My fiance and I had just moved back from living overseas. Family's really excited. Everybody decides that they're going to come visit our very, very small Southern California apartment for Thanksgiving.

[Dax Shepard]

Congrats. I've hosted some holidays in my previous one bedroom apartment. And it's, it's hard, it's ambitious.

[Monica Padman]

I do it for mom's giving, but it's hard, can be done.

[Liz (Guest from Southern California)]

Five people spent the night. A couple got a hotel room. In total, this Thanksgiving event, I think included 12 people. And I think our apartment was 800 square feet. Bathroom quite small.

[Dax Shepard]

So 7.5 square feet per person.

[Caitlin (Guest from Kentucky)]

Yes.

[Liz (Guest from Southern California)]

It was standing room only. My fiance is a big chef, loves to cook. So decided that we're going to do the whole Thanksgiving spread by ourselves. My grandparents are coming, my mom is coming. My grandma is diabetic, so we make a whole second spread for her. Sugar free, diabetic, friendly. We're very proud of it. Everything's good to everybody comes over Thanksgiving day. We're all eating, watching football. Everything seems to be going great. I've gone, I've got some fresh oysters. We're having a great time. So my family's there. And then some of my fiance's co workers who I'm meeting for the first time are also over, having a great time. Everybody's eating. About halfway through dinner, my grandma starts to note that she's not feeling so hot.

[Dax Shepard]

Oh, no. Oh, boy.

[Liz (Guest from Southern California)]

Asks me if she can go to our bedroom and lay down. Yeah, absolutely. Absolutely.

[Jenna (Guest from Naperville)]

No problem.

[Liz (Guest from Southern California)]

So everybody's still eating. She's coming in and out of the bedroom to the one bathroom. She starts to spend a lot of time in the bathroom. So I'm going to check on her. Ask my grandpa to come to the bedroom with her if she can have some company. So they're in there watching football. Everybody's still eating. Been some plastic bags handed through the bathroom door so things aren't looking so hot.

[Dax Shepard]

Can I ask quickly how old grandma is? Are we talking 60s or 100?

[Liz (Guest from Southern California)]

She's in her 80s. At some point my grandpa comes out to get me and a again. Still everybody's in the apartment and he says, your grandma didn't make it. And I was like, what? To the bathroom.

[Monica Padman]

Oh, my.

[Dax Shepard]

Original came up that casually. Grandmother did not make it. Was she fighting for her life? I didn't even know. What do you mean she didn't make it? Okay, hold on, hold on. We gotta gather ourselves. Liz. That was. I was like, holy. Grandma died at that.

[Monica Padman]

And that's the way he.

[Dax Shepard]

Yes. So hey, no biggie. Grandma didn't make it. Okay, okay. So grandma didn't make it to the toilet.

[Caitlin (Guest from Kentucky)]

To the toilet.

[Liz (Guest from Southern California)]

So I go in there and grandma had been laying on my side of the bed.

[Dax Shepard]

Oh, grandma.

[Liz (Guest from Southern California)]

And had had a little unexpected evac. Threw her pants.

[Monica Padman]

Oh, that kind.

[Liz (Guest from Southern California)]

Through my duvet cover. We're soaked.

[Monica Padman]

Poor grandma.

[Liz (Guest from Southern California)]

I get a spare pair of pants, a spare pair of underwear. Help my grandma and my grandpa get to the bathroom to resolve it. But now I have to deal with the fact that my 800 square foot apartment with eight people still trying to eat dinner smells like human shit. I'm opening windows, I'm putting on fans, I'm lighting candles. I am stripping the bed as quickly as my little legs can carry me because I don't want this to soak into the mattress. Mattress. But the in unit washer and dryer is in the living room. So I am then pulling these sheets out into the living room and trying to stuff them into the washer and dryer as fast as I can keep the smell out of here.

[Dax Shepard]

Any thought to put them in a trash bag and get them outside somewhere?

[Liz (Guest from Southern California)]

That would have been a great idea. We were living downtown and we had one very small patio which I would have had to walk through everybody to get to. Our options were limited.

[Dax Shepard]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Liz (Guest from Southern California)]

So I've got the door to my bedroom shut. As many windows open as possible. Everybody kind of starts to trickle out. We pack up leftovers for our friends.

[Dax Shepard]

Hold on. Congratulations. So no one got wind of what was happening. And that's a pun not intended.

[Monica Padman]

But it doesn't impress.

[Liz (Guest from Southern California)]

Yeah, except for my fiance. But none of the strangers at my house got wind.

[Dax Shepard]

Oh, great.

[Liz (Guest from Southern California)]

So we pack them up, some leftovers, we send them on their way. And then my grandma finally gets the strength up to go back to the hotel. I had just bought a new car. You know, I've got the seats covered. I got a towel. We are running dramatically low on plastic bags. We're using doggy bags at this point. Taken some of those with on the ride to the hotel.

[Monica Padman]

Is it a out, both sides situation?

[Dax Shepard]

Double output.

[Liz (Guest from Southern California)]

It is an out, both sides situation.

[Monica Padman]

Oh, my God.

[Liz (Guest from Southern California)]

So we get my grandma loaded up. I get her back to the hotel. As we're leaving, my mom, who is in her 50s, says, I'm not feeling so great. I'm gonna go lay down in the other bedroom.

[Monica Padman]

This is not.

[Dax Shepard]

This is a mass infection.

[Liz (Guest from Southern California)]

She goes to lay down. I come back, and my fiance is in the bedroom with my. She has no pants on. She's got a towel around her waist.

[Caitlin (Guest from Kentucky)]

No.

[Liz (Guest from Southern California)]

She is now throwing up. She's in her 50s. She's had a couple kids. The throwing up is causing. You know, we're getting a little leakage. Boy, oh, my saint of a fiance is helping her.

[Dax Shepard]

Oh, God, he needs a vacation.

[Caitlin (Guest from Kentucky)]

She eventually falls asleep.

[Liz (Guest from Southern California)]

Everybody gets settled down. We go to bed. My grandma's like, it has to be. You guys made a dish that had mayonnaise in it. We didn't. So we start checking in with all the other people who have been at the house. Like anybody else not feeling well, we might as well have had an Excel spreadsheet. We're, like, cross referencing what was on everybody's plate.

[Dax Shepard]

Your medical detectives.

[Liz (Guest from Southern California)]

Now, nobody's eaten the same stuff. And the friends that came over, we've now sent home. They've taken leftovers home. They've eaten leftovers. They're feeling great. So it's not our food. This is Thursday. They're planning to stay till Sunday. That night, my fiance and I are asleep in bed. We wake up up to find out that the two other people staying with us at some point in the night had to tag in. So back and forth, back and forth between the three of them sharing the one bathroom again, out both ends for everybody.

[Dax Shepard]

Mama. Mama.

[Monica Padman]

So this is a norovirus situation.

[Dax Shepard]

Oh, yeah.

[Jenna (Guest from Naperville)]

Last year.

[Liz (Guest from Southern California)]

So I wake up in the morning, house is totally out of toilet paper and has been for hours.

[Monica Padman]

What are they using?

[Dax Shepard]

Socks. Anything they get their hands on.

[Liz (Guest from Southern California)]

We've got the tushy set up. So the tushy is working overtime.

[Dax Shepard]

This font's. This sponsor is brought to you by Tushy.

[Liz (Guest from Southern California)]

I'm running Downstairs to the grocery store to get some more toilet paper. We're handling it. So we spun Black Friday, everybody is down for the count. The thing I have left out is my mom and her parents, before they came to see me, had gone on a little soul searching journey through the desert. My grandpa had worked as a doctor in Arizona during Vietnam. They had decided that they were gonna go back to where my mom was born. During this experience, they're knocking on strangers doors to see if they can find these people that he knew where he live. Exposing themselves to a lot of germs. The three of them were patient zero, right? We got grandma, we got mom. That's where it started. So that's my best guess. So Friday I'm still good. I think I'm good. Saturday we've got planned, we're gonna go to the zoo.

[Dax Shepard]

Good luck.

[Liz (Guest from Southern California)]

So we're gonna have a big event at the zoo.

[Dax Shepard]

Oh no you're not.

[Monica Padman]

Well, you are gonna have a big event at the zoo.

[Devin (Guest from Ontario)]

Perhaps so.

[Liz (Guest from Southern California)]

Of course Saturday is the day that this comes my direction. But I am a zoo member, so we all insist that I still go to the zoo. I can get some people in for free.

[Dax Shepard]

That's right. I was a zoo too. I know, but like, yeah, we need her money. We need her. Wow, she's got to show up.

[Liz (Guest from Southern California)]

I manage only one end, but it's the worst end in my opinion. I spend my day at the zoo trying to avoid an unintentional event. Every time we're stopping at an animal exhibit, I'm in the bathroom.

[Dax Shepard]

I gotta say, Liz, if you were gonna shit yourself anywhere in the world, I agree. The zoo's the best. Because people be like, that's fucking cage reeks.

[Liz (Guest from Southern California)]

Well, my mom has the audacity at one point to go, was it you stinking up the bathroom? Was that smell you?

[Dax Shepard]

Oh, how dare you. My husband cleaned your ass.

[Liz (Guest from Southern California)]

I was like, of course it was me. You know what's happening? You did this to me. It makes its way over the course of the weekend through every single one of us. It avoids my fiance till Monday he has a huge work event. The next day he ends up having to call out sick. It was an actual nightmare of a weekend. We now have to put people on planes and they're still feeling sick. My grandma ended up sick for a week after she got back home. And for the first Thanksgiving my fiance and I hosted. It was an actual, actual nightmare. We've since moved intentionally to a place with two bathrooms. We will never host an event Again, that's smart. It was a literal shit show.

[Caitlin (Guest from Kentucky)]

Wow.

[Dax Shepard]

You know what I like about your story? The diabetes was a red herring.

[Mel Robbins]

It was.

[Monica Padman]

I got right.

[Dax Shepard]

I'm like, waiting for. She ate the wrong dish that was chocked full of sugar. My first thought was, like, well, when she walked to the bathroom, do you offer to get her apple juice? She'd take too much insulin in anticipation of the meal.

[Liz (Guest from Southern California)]

Well, that was also part of our detective work because she did not eat any of the diabetes friendly menu. That food all remained untouched.

[Dax Shepard]

Oh, okay.

[Monica Padman]

And then she thinks it was the mayonnaise.

[Liz (Guest from Southern California)]

She still to this day. I just saw her a couple weeks ago and she was like, I hope there's no mayonnaise.

[Caitlin (Guest from Kentucky)]

I can't.

[Dax Shepard]

I can't handle that.

[Monica Padman]

No, no, no, no, no. Did any of your friends and stuff end up getting it?

[Liz (Guest from Southern California)]

They never got it.

[Dax Shepard]

If I were your husband, Liz, on Friday morning when we woke up, I would have said, pack your shit. We're moving back overseas.

[Monica Padman]

I hate it here.

[Dax Shepard]

This place is not for us.

[Liz (Guest from Southern California)]

At this time, he was just my boyfriend, so it did not scare him off.

[Monica Padman]

Aw, he was your boyfriend when he cleaned the mom's butt.

[Dax Shepard]

This guy is a champion.

[Jenna (Guest from Naperville)]

He is.

[Dax Shepard]

It's almost a cautionary tale to not celebrate Thanksgiving. I mean, that's how. Oh, no, no.

[Monica Padman]

It's a cautionary tale to not bite off more than you can chew. If you have a small space, you don't need to have 12 people over.

[Devin (Guest from Ontario)]

Like, I understand.

[Monica Padman]

We all feel like we need to do that, but you have one bathroom. I mean, I'm about to do it, so I don't know what I'm saying.

[Dax Shepard]

I don't know what you're saying. And also, like, the story is. The only thing you could say is don't bring norovirus to a party, but you just don't know you have it. This is the risks of life.

[Monica Padman]

Yeah.

[Dax Shepard]

Oh, well, great meeting you, Liz. That is a banger of a story.

[Jenna (Guest from Naperville)]

Thank you guys so much. It was so nice to meet you.

[Dax Shepard]

Yeah, you too.

[Liz (Guest from Southern California)]

I do have to give a quick shout out to my friend Paul and his girlfriend, whose name is too recognizable for me to say on an anonymous platform, but they were the ones who pushed me. We're both big armchair anonymous bands. And they were like, you have to tell it as soon as it happened. You have to as next year's prom.

[Monica Padman]

How fun.

[Dax Shepard]

I do like the idea of that. While something's going wrong, and this is to any listener currently this year, something's going Terribly wrong. At least just go like, okay, go. Let's take some notes. So I'll be talking to them in.

[Monica Padman]

A year, Thanksgiving or Christmas or holiday, whatever. Yeah, you'll have a story to submit.

[Dax Shepard]

All right. Well, lovely meeting you. I hope you have a much better one this year.

[Jenna (Guest from Naperville)]

So nice to meet you. All right.

[Dax Shepard]

Bye.

[Jenna (Guest from Naperville)]

Bye.

[Liz (Guest from Southern California)]

Bye.

[Dax Shepard]

We are supported by quints. So I'm standing in my closet the other day, and I realize I'm reaching for the same three things over and over again. And they're all coming from quints. Which got me thinking, when did I become that guy who actually cares about where his clothes come from? I'll tell you when. When I discovered quints.

[Monica Padman]

Exactly. I was at a happy hour a couple days ago with a very cool woman named Margot. Very chic. And I was like, ooh, I love your pants. I love your sweater. And she said, quint.

[Dax Shepard]

Boom.

[Monica Padman]

And I was like, I should have known.

[Dax Shepard]

Should have known. Turns out Quint cracked the code on something I didn't even know was broken. They partner directly with these ethical factories, cut out the middlemen. So you get the same Mongolian cashmere that cost 200 bucks elsewhere. 450, same quality, none of the markup. Perfect timing, too, because holiday shopping is coming. And I actually have good answers for once. Not just clothes either. They've got home stuff, travel gear, all of it. Give and get. Timeless holiday staples that last this season with quints. Go to quints.comdax for free shipping on your order and 365 day returns. Now available in Canada too. That's Q-U-I-N c e.comdax free shipping and 365 day returns. Quint.comdax this show is sponsored by Better Help. So many of us are really impacted by the colder seasons when it gets dark so much earlier and the days feel shorter than ever.

[Monica Padman]

Yeah, me. Me. I' the one. I feel horrible when it Seasonal affective disorder.

[Dax Shepard]

Yes, you do. Take a. I take. Take a hit.

[Jenna (Guest from Naperville)]

I do.

[Dax Shepard]

When it gets dark, you know how it goes. Life gets busy. But that's exactly why shorter days don't have to be so dismal. It's time to reach out and check in with those you care about and to remind ourselves that we're not alone. And you know what? Every time I finally do, I think, why didn't I do this sooner? Which is exactly what people say about starting therapy. Better help therapists work according to a strict code of conduct and are fully licensed in the US Just fill out a short questionnaire that' help identify your needs and preferences and they'll match you with a therapist. Don't worry, though. If you aren't happy with your match, you can switch to a different therapist at any time. From their tailored wrecks this month, don't wait to reach out. Whether you're checking in on a friend or reaching out to a therapist yourself, BetterHelp makes it easier to take that first step. Armchairs get 10% off their first month at betterhelp.com Dax that's betterhelp. H E L P.com Dax Dax we are supported by Empower. See, you've always wanted to take that bucket list safari trip where you hop in a jeep at sunrise and cruise the Serengeti. Here's the thing. If you invest well, you could do things like that. With Empower, you can get your money working for you so you can go out and live a little. Isn't that why we work so hard to splurge at certain moments? Maybe it's those concert seats that don't require binoculars or taking that trip to Athens in Greece, not Georgia. No disrespect money, so use Empower to help you. You get good at money so you can be a little bad. Join their 19 million customers [e-mail] not an Empower client, paid or sponsored. Yeah, that got ugly.

[Monica Padman]

These hurt.

[Dax Shepard]

Three people diarrhea in apartment with one for real.

[Monica Padman]

I was like, I can't believe this. Grandma died in the house.

[Dax Shepard]

That was incredible. Your grandmother didn't make it.

[Jenna (Guest from Naperville)]

It.

[Dax Shepard]

Wait. She was dying. I hope I can be that casual if Kristen passes in her old age. Mom didn't make it.

[Monica Padman]

I really that I was like, well.

[Dax Shepard]

This is going to be a dark. I don't know how we're going to recover. I was optimistic. I was like, oh, my God, they're going to have to deal with a dead body. Like, they're going to have to move it around. It's going to be like Weekend of Bernie's. Maybe. Hopefully. Hopefully she's got a sense of humor about it.

[Monica Padman]

Oh, my God.

[Dax Shepard]

Wow. All right, let's talk to Devon.

[Liz (Guest from Southern California)]

Hi.

[Monica Padman]

Very cute sweater with strawberries on it.

[Liz (Guest from Southern California)]

Thank you.

[Devin (Guest from Ontario)]

It was the closest thing I had to arm cherries, so I just had to go with it.

[Dax Shepard]

If you had not said strawberries, this whole thing would have gone by and I'd be like, what a cute sweater with cherries on.

[Monica Padman]

Really?

[Dax Shepard]

Yeah.

[Monica Padman]

Well, you saw what you wanted to see.

[Dax Shepard]

That's my point. You see what you want to see. Where are you and why do you have this fun setup? You're a musician. Someone in your house is a musician.

[Devin (Guest from Ontario)]

So Elliot, he is a musician. That's my boyfriend. I'm in his office. I hope that it sounds okay. I kind of put some blankets up.

[Dax Shepard]

It sounds wonderful. Elliot's the cutest name. And Devin's a really cute name. This is a great pairing, Elliot and Devin.

[Jenna (Guest from Naperville)]

Thank you.

[Dax Shepard]

Okay, so you have a Thanksgiving story. You see the synchronicity. We were both sipping from a glass. Pint glass at the same time.

[Monica Padman]

That's really simple.

[Devin (Guest from Ontario)]

So my story actually takes place near Chalk river in Ontario. It's a very teeny, tiny town up north, which is where my whole family is from. I do have to start with a little bit of context because my family celebrates Thanksgiving a little bit differently for most. So back in 1972, my grandpa and my great grandpa and my great uncle Spike, they all went partridge hunting in a remote spot outside of Algonquin Park. They decided to make this an annual thing. And slowly but surely over the years, more and more guys joined. And then eventually my Auntie Kelly, she ended up crashing the party and she opened the door to all the other.

[Dax Shepard]

Ladies in the family she integrated.

[Monica Padman]

She broke that glass ceiling.

[Dax Shepard]

Yeah.

[Devin (Guest from Ontario)]

So to this day, about 80 of us all trudge our way out to the middle of the woods. We bring a big giant army tent, which we make into the kitchen tent. It's honestly my favorite thing in the world.

[Dax Shepard]

Do you guys eat the partridges that are shot?

[Devin (Guest from Ontario)]

We do, yeah. But we also make a big giant turkey dinner for everybody. We have full scale propane ovens, generators, and everything.

[Dax Shepard]

You're like a carnival.

[Devin (Guest from Ontario)]

Yeah. Basically we show up and turn the whole place into a little village for a few days and then we leave without a trace.

[Dax Shepard]

Now, really quick, before I am only aware of partridge from the song Partridge and a pear tree.

[Monica Padman]

Oh, what about partridge family?

[Dax Shepard]

And then of course, the partridge family. But I don't even know that. I know it's a real bird.

[Devin (Guest from Ontario)]

It's basically a bowling pin on two legs because it is about as stupid. You don't even really have to hunt them. You can just drive your car down a highway and you will inevitably hit one.

[Dax Shepard]

You'll be able to bag a fee just on the trip up.

[Devin (Guest from Ontario)]

Yeah, exactly. I literally was at a liquor store in Ontario a few months ago, and there was a fellow inside and he. He had a partridge sticking out of his grill and he didn't even know.

[Monica Padman]

Do they, like, run rampant?

[Devin (Guest from Ontario)]

There's a decent amount the Further north you go for sure.

[Monica Padman]

Okay. Interesting.

[Dax Shepard]

Thank you. That's all I needed to talk about. Partridges.

[Devin (Guest from Ontario)]

So aside from hunting, which we still kind of do while we're there, people play cards, we go hiking to the waterfalls, we shoot stuff. And there's a fair amount of alcohol consumption coupled with all of those activities.

[Monica Padman]

It sounds like the sand dunes Thanksgiving.

[Dax Shepard]

Yeah, it does. Those were really fun.

[Devin (Guest from Ontario)]

So mornings usually start with a coffee and Bailey's or a Mimosa or some of the best Caesars that you've ever had.

[Monica Padman]

Oh, Caesars.

[Devin (Guest from Ontario)]

They're very popular with my family. My Uncle Stephen makes a mean one. And then from there, we usually hit the ground running on the beers. One year, we actually cut down some trees during a snowstorm and we built our own bar. And now we actually bring the bar back with us every year.

[Monica Padman]

Oh, wow.

[Dax Shepard]

Does an 18 wheeler bring all this shit in? Like, what is just a ton of trucks and trailers?

[Devin (Guest from Ontario)]

Yes, everybody has a truck and a trailer.

[Dax Shepard]

You haven't invited me, but, yes, I'll attend.

[Monica Padman]

Yeah, this is perfect.

[Devin (Guest from Ontario)]

100% open invite to you both. I think that you would have a blast.

[Dax Shepard]

It sounds really fun. It does.

[Devin (Guest from Ontario)]

So the specific year that the disaster takes place, because as you can imagine, there have been more than a few. I'll have some honorable mentions at the end for you. Was 2012, when I was 22 years old and I had a thing or two to learn about moderation, for sure. So after a long day of having a little bit too much fun, I was heading towards the bonfire and I tripped and I fell out of both of my shoes. So I took that as a sign from the universe that maybe I should probably put myself to bed. And I discreetly grabbed a bottle of water and sequestered my sho myself to my tent. So a few hours later, my mom realized she hadn't seen me for a little while, and she started to get a little bit worried, of course. So she asked around, and nobody knew where I was. So that kind of launched a bit of a search party situation. She went to go check the trailers to see if I was playing cards, and she sent my dad to check the tent. Unfortunately, my dad is a man, and so he did a bit of a lackluster job on that front. And he basically just stood outside and said, dev, are you in there?

[Dax Shepard]

It's very Canadian of him.

[Devin (Guest from Ontario)]

Yeah, he's actually from England.

[Dax Shepard]

Oh, well, that's even worse. Yeah, actually.

[Devin (Guest from Ontario)]

So I obviously did not answer. He took that as evidence enough that I was not present.

[Dax Shepard]

Oh, oh, boy. Come on, Dad. I mean, I have to do the same thing. I can't be always so critical.

[Monica Padman]

You would.

[Dax Shepard]

I can't. Well, I can't find anything. It's insane, right? So I go in the fridge. It's on the second shelf. I'm staring, staring, staring. And I'm like, really? What's wrong with me? My wife always walks up and just grabs it. So I probably go to the wrong tent.

[Devin (Guest from Ontario)]

There's a reason. It's a stereotype, right?

[Dax Shepard]

Yes, exactly.

[Devin (Guest from Ontario)]

So obviously when my mom learned this, she went spiraling and she enlisted everybody that was up to try and help her find me. So she had people shining flashlights under the bridge in the creek, looking for a floater.

[Monica Padman]

Oh, no, no.

[Devin (Guest from Ontario)]

They were combing the woods and they were checking inside. And I mean, like inside of the outhouses. Because obviously my family had a lot of faith in me. So finally someone had the bright idea to go and check the tent again. And lo and behold, there I was, safe and sound.

[Dax Shepard]

Yeah.

[Devin (Guest from Ontario)]

Or so we thought. Unfortunately, that is not where the story ends. And around 4am I woke up to my dad tossing and turning. Because obviously an air mattress, you wake up to everything and it was freezing cold. So my dad and I were on one air mattress on one side. And then my cousin Jesse and her husband Ty were on the air mattress on the other side. And then there was a propane heater in between us.

[Monica Padman]

Oh, no.

[Devin (Guest from Ontario)]

Chekhov's propane heater.

[Dax Shepard]

Hold on. Cause I bet other people are thinking it. I'm just now learning. Is your Thanksgiving not on the third week of November?

[Liz (Guest from Southern California)]

No.

[Devin (Guest from Ontario)]

Fortunately for us, it lot earlier. It's usually the second week of October.

[Dax Shepard]

Can't believe I didn't know that. Because I'm thinking this whole time, I'm like, I can't believe you motherfuckers are camping in late November. And like, I wouldn't do that in Michigan.

[Devin (Guest from Ontario)]

It is still very cold. Don't get me wrong, we have had snow many, many different years.

[Dax Shepard]

Yeah, Yeah.

[Devin (Guest from Ontario)]

I heard my dad get up and I heard him open the valve on the tank. And usually you're going to want to have a quick turnaround time on that, but I didn't hear anything after that.

[Dax Shepard]

Oh, boy.

[Devin (Guest from Ontario)]

I waited for a little bit and unfortunately I was still pretty groggy from my escapades earlier, so I didn't actually do anything useful like stop him.

[Monica Padman]

Wait, sorry. I need a little more information. Cause I don't know about these.

[Jenna (Guest from Naperville)]

Really?

[Dax Shepard]

Propane heaters.

[Jenna (Guest from Naperville)]

Yeah, yeah.

[Dax Shepard]

So you turn them on, and then you hit a button, and it's kind of like a striker, and you want to ignite the gas that's coming out.

[Monica Padman]

Right.

[Dax Shepard]

It sounds like maybe my right dad has turned on the gas, but there's no striker happening.

[Monica Padman]

Okay.

[Jenna (Guest from Naperville)]

Yeah.

[Devin (Guest from Ontario)]

This was long enough ago, and some of our equipment's pretty old. I'm pretty sure that he had to, like, manually use an actual light lighter to light it, so that slows down the process even more. So I just pulled my sleeping bag up over my face because I had a bad feeling. And then when I finally did hear the click, the only way I can really describe it is that the birth of a new star happens localized entirely within our tiny tent.

[Dax Shepard]

Oh, it just filled completely up with gas.

[Jenna (Guest from Naperville)]

Yes.

[Devin (Guest from Ontario)]

So the resulting fireball was so big and so loud and so bright, it felt like it was daytime.

[Monica Padman]

Oh, my God.

[Dax Shepard]

Oh, my God.

[Devin (Guest from Ontario)]

And it obviously woke up everyone in our tent as well as everyone in all the tents adjacent, because people were like, what the fuck was that? So I remember looking up at the beautiful night sky through the brand new hole in our ceiling as I slowly deflated back down to the cold, hard earth. But fortunately, it was just a lot of cosmetic damage to our stuff, and everybody was fine.

[Dax Shepard]

Oh, thank you. So it did. It blew up the air mattresses?

[Devin (Guest from Ontario)]

Yes. Air mattresses were totaled. Sleeping bags were totaled. Tent was totaled.

[Dax Shepard]

Yeah.

[Monica Padman]

But everyone was okay.

[Dax Shepard]

And a great time for a psa so of events is get the starter strip out and lit, then turn the gas on. We don't turn the gas on. Then try to light it. We light the lighter and then turn on the gas going forward. Yeah. For all listening.

[Devin (Guest from Ontario)]

And maybe don't do it when you're half asleep and. Or had 13 too many beers.

[Dax Shepard]

I don't even know if a propane heater in a tent is even recommended on its own.

[Devin (Guest from Ontario)]

Everything is so slammable and.

[Monica Padman]

Exactly. There's so much flannel.

[Devin (Guest from Ontario)]

Most people stay in their trailers now. There's not a lot of tent folk left at Thanksgiving.

[Dax Shepard]

Wow. Oh, wow.

[Monica Padman]

Scary.

[Dax Shepard]

So an atomic bomb went off.

[Jenna (Guest from Naperville)]

Yeah. It was pretty wild.

[Devin (Guest from Ontario)]

So there was nothing we could do in the moment. So everybody just put on every piece of clothing that they had and we all just went back to bed.

[Monica Padman]

Yeah. That's when those 13 beers come in handy. You're kept warm a little bit from that.

[Dax Shepard]

You need to be back asleep so bad, nothing else really matters.

[Monica Padman]

Yep.

[Devin (Guest from Ontario)]

I won't even get up to pee. I'm definitely not letting the fire stop.

[Jenna (Guest from Naperville)]

Yes.

[Dax Shepard]

Yes. Boy, oh man, that is the gift of it.

[Devin (Guest from Ontario)]

I was in line for breakfast at the kitchen tent the next morning. We do like a full army style breakfast and it's phenomenal. And my mom was reading me the riot act about disappearing. I didn't think that was really fair after my dad's pyrotechnic display. Fortunately, as soon as he walked in with his newly bald face and chest.

[Monica Padman]

Oh my God.

[Devin (Guest from Ontario)]

And then my mom saw the wreckage of the tents. He took all the heat off me.

[Monica Padman]

Wow, I'm really glad everyone's okay. Cause that could have been horrible.

[Dax Shepard]

Actually, I'm happier to hear that there was an explosion versus the propane was just left on all night and everyone got carbonated poisoning. Yeah, yeah, yeah, totally. It's the lesser of the bad outcomes that could have happened.

[Devin (Guest from Ontario)]

Yeah, there were a lot of options for sure. I do have some honorable mentions of other things that have happened. So, one year, Uncle Slug tripped on a root and he fell hand first into the bonfire and absolutely destroyed his hand like skin slopping.

[Liz (Guest from Southern California)]

Oh, yuck.

[Devin (Guest from Ontario)]

One year, Uncle Spike cut off part of his thumb while he was making stew. He was on Blood Thin, so it.

[Jenna (Guest from Naperville)]

Was just an absolute crime scene.

[Devin (Guest from Ontario)]

Then we had Uncle Smiley dislocated his finger and survived an oven explosion all in one day.

[Monica Padman]

We've got Smiley Slug. Spike was the other one.

[Dax Shepard]

This is great.

[Devin (Guest from Ontario)]

There's a lot of characters for sure. And just this past year, my mom wanted me to make sure that I told you that my Uncle Brian tripped and fell neck first onto a chainsaw.

[Monica Padman]

No. What the fuck?

[Devin (Guest from Ontario)]

I'm not even joking.

[Monica Padman]

Oh my God.

[Devin (Guest from Ontario)]

And he just missed the artery. So he's very lucky. Completely fine by the.

[Dax Shepard]

He was back chainsawing in no time.

[Caitlin (Guest from Kentucky)]

Oh, honestly.

[Devin (Guest from Ontario)]

Yeah. I have pictures of him from the rest of the weekend, just with a bandage. Oh my God. And a few years ago, my Uncle Ryan accidentally bear sprayed himself and my mother while he was showing her his new van.

[Dax Shepard]

Oh, wow.

[Jenna (Guest from Naperville)]

It is.

[Dax Shepard]

This is a party. I think you guys need to consider making a reality show based on just this weekend.

[Devin (Guest from Ontario)]

We have a lot of footage from back in the day. My dad used to always be the guy with the camcorder. So we do have a lot of videos. We could splice something together.

[Monica Padman]

I would watch that.

[Dax Shepard]

It's also reminiscent of Aaron's 4th of July party in the field behind the barn. I mean, it's just like one thing after another's happening. Rapid order. Well, Devin, that was spectacular and I really am sad. I've not enjoyed one of these.

[Devin (Guest from Ontario)]

You'll just have to come experience it for yourself.

[Dax Shepard]

And the fact that it doesn't actually conflict with the American one is.

[Monica Padman]

Yeah, that's true.

[Liz (Guest from Southern California)]

Both can happen.

[Devin (Guest from Ontario)]

You don't have any other plans?

[Dax Shepard]

That's right. We might be talking to you next year.

[Liz (Guest from Southern California)]

Perfect.

[Dax Shepard]

Yeah.

[Monica Padman]

Yeah, I think we might.

[Dax Shepard]

It should be an annual check in from Devin.

[Monica Padman]

Well, thanks for sharing with us.

[Dax Shepard]

Yeah. That was a delight.

[Devin (Guest from Ontario)]

Thanks so much. It was really nice to see you guys.

[Jenna (Guest from Naperville)]

Yeah.

[Monica Padman]

Have a good rest of your day.

[Dax Shepard]

Yeah, take care. Wow.

[Jenna (Guest from Naperville)]

Oh, wow.

[Dax Shepard]

Man, they go hard.

[Monica Padman]

Real hard.

[Dax Shepard]

Bunch of chainsaws, propane heaters, trailers.

[Monica Padman]

If someone tripped and fell on a chainsaw and died, that's such an embarrassing way to die.

[Dax Shepard]

Boy, is it like, in my circle.

[Monica Padman]

That's kind of a win tripping, though. It's not that you were using it.

[Dax Shepard]

You weren't like, fighting a bear with a chainsaw and it kicked back and got you. But it's better than slipping in the bathtub and dying. That's very emasculating. Like, why were you even bathing yourself?

[Monica Padman]

Oh, my God.

[Dax Shepard]

All right. Love you.

[Monica Padman]

Love you.

[Dax Shepard]

Happy Thanksgiving.

[Monica Padman]

Happy Thanksgiving.

[Dax Shepard]

Do you want to sing a tune or something? We have a theme song. Oh, okay, great. We don't have a them song for this new show, so here I go. Go, go. We're gonna ask some random questions and with the help of Armchairies, we'll get some suggestions on the flyer. Rhyme dish on the fly. Rhyme dish. Enjoy. Follow Armchair Expert on the Wondry app, Amazon music, or wherever you get your podcasts. You can listen to every episode of Armchair Expert early and ad free right now by joining Wondery plus in the Wondry app or on Apple podcasts. Before you go, tell us about yourself by completing a short [e-mail] survey.

[Mel Robbins]

Hey there, armchairies. Guess what? It's Mel Robbins. I'm popping in here, taking out my own ad. Holy cow. Dax, Monica and I, I don't want this conversation to end and I'm so glad you're here with us. And the other thing, I can't believe Dax loves the let them theory. He can't stop talking about it. I hope you're loving listening as much as I love you having you here. And I also know since you love listening to Armchair Expert, you know who you're going to love listening to? The Let Them Theory audiobook. And guess who reads it?

[Jenna (Guest from Naperville)]

Me.

[Mel Robbins]

And even if you've read the book, guess what? The audiobook is different. I tell different stories, I riff, I cry. You're going to love it because it's going to feel like I'm right there next to you. We're in this together as we learn to stop controlling other people. So thanks again for listening to this episode of Armchair Expert. And check out the audiobook version of the Let Them Theory Retro by yours truly, available now on Audible. You can even try it out for free with an Audible trial. Download the Audible app today.