Armchair Anonymous: Unique Kink

Summary

Armchair Expert – Armchair Anonymous: Unique Kink

Episode Date: February 20, 2026
Hosts: Dax Shepard & Monica Padman
Theme: Vulnerability, Humor, and Acceptance of Unique Turn-Ons

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Episode Overview

This episode of “Armchair Anonymous” dives into the world of unique kinks — those unconventional things that spark attraction or serve as intimate quirks in people’s lives. Dax and Monica invite listeners to call in and bravely share stories about their “unique kink.” As ever, the atmosphere is open, nonjudgmental, and celebratory of the many ways human beings experience intimacy, desire, and connection. The hosts balance empathy, humor, and curiosity, exploring the stories with both respect and signature Armchair mischief.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Introduction & Tone Setting

• The hosts warn listeners:
  “One of our favorite things is hearing people listen to this show with their kids. This is not that episode.” (00:13 – Dax)
• They emphasize how “brave” and vulnerable the contributors are, expressing deep gratitude (00:46).
• Monica notes that while the stories are about kinks, many are “cuter than we were expecting” (00:31).

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2. Story 1: Amanda’s Prosthetic Eye Turn-On

Caller: Amanda from Ohio
Time: 03:38–12:11

• Amanda shares the unusual turn-on she feels when her husband removes his prosthetic eye.
• They had known each other since school, but reconnected as adults, with the unique trait making him memorable (05:15).
• Amanda describes:
  “Ever since then… I get all hot and bothered when he gets it out.” (07:32 – Amanda)

Notable Moments

• Curiosity & Vulnerability:
  Amanda wanted to watch him take out the prosthetic, hold it, and learn what the eye socket looks like (08:18).
• “If it’s late at night and he takes that thing out, it’s go time.” (07:56 – Amanda)
• Humor & Acceptance:
  Dax: “I wish I had something. Yeah. Let me take my nose off real quick, and let's get to it.” (08:00)
• Amanda’s husband had never taken out his prosthetic for anyone but his mom before her, making it intimate and special (11:00).

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3. Story 2: David’s “Forced Gay” Tinder Encounter

Caller: David from Rhode Island
Time: 12:36–24:27

• David recounts a wild and intricate sexual scenario:
  He matched with an amateur bodybuilder on Tinder, who confessed a “forced gay” kink at the behest of his remote dominatrix girlfriend in Australia.
• The dominatrix wanted to watch her boyfriend have anal sex with men — over video, with live direction from Australia (16:18).
• David’s reflection:
  “I was just a dildo, right? …He’s being piloted; this isn’t about me.” (19:29 & 19:33 – David)
• Despite logistical hurdles and a lack of personal eroticism, David decided to go through with it, performing for the couple’s pleasure.

Notable Quotes & Moments

• “Fucking this man in the ass was like, the straightest thing that I’ve ever done.” (22:26 – David)
• Direction & Awkwardness:
  The dom “barked orders” like, “Move the camera…tell him how much you want his load,” in her Australian accent, creating a surreal atmosphere (18:18, 20:20).
• David’s takeaway:
  “It would have been nice to chat with her about expectations…also, the bitch needs to commit to an angle.” (22:29 – David)
• The hosts and David muse about the authenticity of the scenario and motives, noting “a lot going on” beneath the surface (23:12).

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4. Story 3: Rico’s Toe-Nibbling Soothing

Caller: Rico, calling from Florida, originally Puerto Rico
Time: 25:47–39:56

• Rico reveals his lifelong, deeply soothing “kink”: having his toes nibbled.
• Origin: As a child, his mother would nibble his toes to provide comfort, and the association never faded (27:50). “Most kids will be comforted by their parents through a blankie or a teddy bear. In my case…my mom used to nibble on my toes.” (27:50 – Rico)
• Rico’s journey included shame, hiding, and initial rejection from partners — most women tried it once and didn’t want to continue (30:05).
• Joy and healing: His fiancée surprised him by integrating toe-nibbling during sex, creating a blissful, memorable moment: “You've seen The Matrix when Neo gets disconnected from the machine… It's the most vivid memory that I’ve had.” (32:45 – Rico)
• Ongoing: His fiancée will do it occasionally for him, a special treat, and it always brings him immense happiness.

Notable Quotes & Moments

• Dax reframes the kink, highlighting how arbitrary or culture-bound shame can be: “All these things are so fucking arbitrary, right? …Who gives a fuck what digits you’re sucking to soothe?” (29:41 – Dax)
• Monica’s empathy shines: “It's sad to me that he has so much shame around that, because it's not that big of a deal.” (40:14)
• Rico vulnerably discusses his recovery from sex and porn addiction, and how Armchair has supported him: “When I was listening to your day seven [episode], I just felt like I had to stop and cry…It really helped me a lot.” (37:48 – Rico)
• Dax uplifts:
  “Rico, liberate you from this shame. This is so harmless and lovely.” (36:26)
• The conversation includes acknowledgment of healthy relationships to kinks, consent, and the importance of honesty and trust with partners.
• Dax and Monica reinforce that the joy of sharing kinks can be a “superpower” in relationships (34:50).

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• On Intimacy and Vulnerability:
  “He trusts you, and that’s hot.” (07:38 – Monica, about Amanda’s husband)
• About Acceptance:
  “The more honesty you have with your partner, the more you can unlock secrets within yourselves that just shortcut you to get the results that you want.” (34:59 – Rico)
• Humorous Take on Kinks:
  “Some of these things with these kinks, it’s like, it's a superpower.” (34:50 – Monica)
• On Cultural Norms:
  “People suck their thumb. You might be worried they're gonna get buck teeth, but you don't think there's any moral imperative being broken. And who gives a fuck what digits you’re sucking to soothe?” (29:44 – Dax)
• On Shame and Acceptance:
  “Rico, liberate you from this shame. This is so harmless and lovely.” (36:26 – Dax)

---

Timestamps for Key Segments

• Amanda’s Story: Unique attraction to husband’s prosthetic eye (03:38–12:11)
• David’s Story: “Forced Gay” dom/sub remote encounter (12:36–24:27)
• Rico’s Story: Lifelong toe-nibbling comfort and shame (25:47–39:56)

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Episode Takeaways

• Vulnerability breeds connection: Each guest’s willingness to share leads to deeper discussion, empathy, and laughter.
• Kinks are diverse and often benign: Many so-called “weird” kinks are harmless ways people give or receive love.
• Shame is arbitrary and unhelpful: Dax and Monica encourage listeners to question inherited shame and seek acceptance for themselves.
• Communication and trust are key: Honesty with oneself and partners can yield both healing and happiness — whether your kink is a prosthetic eye, a complex dom/sub dynamic, or simply a nibble on the toes.

---

Closing Reflections

Dax and Monica wrap up affirming the power of openness, the benign nature of most kinks, and the importance of consent and trust. Monica summarizes:
“Kinks are about trust. You heard it here first. I invented that.” (40:51)

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For Listeners Who Missed It

This episode is a fun, heartwarming, and at times hilarious window into the courage it takes to be authentic. The stories remind us that what’s “unique” about us is often what’s most lovable. Whether listeners relate to the kinks themselves or just enjoy the honesty, they’ll finish the episode feeling uplifted — and perhaps a little less alone.

Transcript

[A]

Welcome, welcome. Welcome to Armchair Anonymous. I'm Dan Shepard. I'm joined by Lily Padman.

[B]

We are thrilled about this one.

[A]

Look, one of our favorite things is hearing that people listen to this show with their kids.

[B]

Right?

[A]

It's so fun to hear that. This is not that episode. Yeah, this is not that episode.

[B]

It's not. And yet it's almost more PG than rat water bottle.

[A]

Well, that's a gross factor. But the middle one goes hard. Right?

[C]

Right?

[A]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[B]

Okay. I mean, these are great.

[A]

They're great. They're great. But you're right, they're cute. They're cuter than we were expecting. Yeah, of course. It's Unique Kinks. Tell us about a unique kink you have. I loved it. It won't be the la. Well, might be the last. These are brave individuals.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Among our bravest.

[B]

We're very grateful to the people who wrote in for this one because. Very vulnerable.

[A]

Very vulnerable.

[B]

And we appreciate it.

[A]

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[B]

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[A]

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[B]

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[A]

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[B]

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[A]

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[D]

hi.

[A]

How are you?

[C]

Good. How are you? Good.

[A]

Are you nervous?

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

Don't be.

[A]

I'm so proud of anyone that responded to this prompt. I think it's incredible.

[C]

I was like, well, this is kind of awkward.

[A]

Hopefully you'll find that we're the perfect people for awkward. Do you want a fake name?

[C]

It's okay.

[A]

Okay, great. And you go by Amanda, or do you go by Mandy?

[C]

Amanda. My family calls me Mandy.

[A]

I had a hunch.

[B]

That's cute.

[A]

Yeah, if I had an Amanda, I'm sure I'd end up calling her Mandy. That's a good nickname we call Delta Delta. Everything gets just an E at the end. Linky Delta Monty. Where are you at, Amanda?

[C]

Ohio.

[A]

Oh, my goodness. We just got off the phone with someone from Canton, Ohio.

[C]

Oh, really? That's where my husband works. That's crazy.

[A]

Yeah. So you're in that general area of Ohio?

[C]

Yeah, Mansfield area.

[D]

Okay.

[A]

And are you from there?

[C]

Yep. This is where I grew up.

[A]

Now, do you ever go to Chappelle's Town?

[C]

I don't think I've ever heard of that.

[A]

Well, Chappelle lives in some town by Dayton, and I think he's bought up most of the town. In his standup, he claims Dave Chappelle.

[C]

I literally thought you meant a place called Chappelletown.

[A]

Oh, sure. Maybe I'll change that to the name.

[C]

Actually, I think it's near Springfield? Because my cousin lives there.

[A]

Okay, but you've never been curious to go see what's happening over there?

[C]

I haven't.

[A]

Okay. So you have a kink story.

[C]

Yes. So it's a very strange turn on, I guess I would say.

[B]

Love it.

[A]

Yeah. The stranger, the better.

[C]

I grew up knowing of my husband. We went to the same school growing up, but I didn't really like know him. We weren't really friends. I just knew of him especially. Cause he has something about him that makes him stand out that's like different. So when I moved back to my hometown as an adult, we reconnected and so I remembered who he was because of that unique thing which is that he has one eye.

[A]

Uh huh. That's okay. Very memorable and really quick. What grade was it that you stopped being around him?

[C]

We went to school together all the

[A]

way to senior year.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

How long had you been gone?

[C]

I had been graduated for like six years.

[B]

And was he wearing a patch?

[C]

No. So he has a prosthetic. I started dating him and that's how I remembered him. I'm like, oh yeah, that's the kid I went to school with. He had one eye. There wasn't very many of them.

[A]

Did he pay a big price for that? Were kids nice to him?

[C]

Sometimes kids can be jerks, but nothing too terrible. It's not like super noticeable. So anyhow, fast forward. We started dating and things were going really good. And then one night before we were going to bed, he said, okay, well we're about to move to the next step in our relationship. And I'm like, what do you mean? Apparently his eye was irritated and so he was like, I'm going to take my eye out.

[A]

Oh yeah.

[C]

Okay, let's go. I'm going to clean it like, and I'm not going to sleep with it in at this point, I guess I never thought about the fact that his eye comes out right.

[A]

I wouldn't know that.

[C]

I didn't think about it. He always had it in. He sleeps with it in. Like I'd never seen him without it, so I just assumed it stays in.

[A]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[C]

So he takes his eye out really quick.

[A]

How long were you dating?

[C]

Probably like seven months or so. I'd asked him a ton of questions about his eye before because I was just curious. But I never thought to ask, like, hey, does that thing come out?

[A]

Yeah. Can you pop the sucker out?

[C]

Yeah. Would you see it?

[A]

Yeah, yeah. Can I hold your eye?

[C]

So yeah, he took his eye out and ever since then I don't know if it's because he looks rough and tough and sexy or if it's just the vulnerability, but I find him so attractive, and I get all hot and bothered when he.

[B]

When he gets it out, when he's

[C]

got his eye out.

[B]

Oh, I love that.

[A]

I do, too.

[B]

I could see that being all of those things, like, he trusts you, and that's hot.

[C]

I know. So I find him so attractive. That's my, like, unique turn on is when my husband takes his eye out. So, like, if it's late at night and he takes that thing out, it's go time.

[B]

He's so lucky. He just has, like, one thing he has to do.

[A]

I know. I wish I had something. Yeah. Let me take my nose off real quick, and let's get to it.

[B]

That's awesome.

[A]

Now, were there stages? All right, so first of all, watching him remove it, what was that like? Or did he do it privately removing it and then show you, or did he do the whole thing in front of you?

[C]

I wanted to watch, and I was like, oh, this is so cool. So he popped it out, and I asked him if I could hold it.

[B]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[C]

It looked so different than I thought it would too. I've never seen a prosthetic guy before. I thought it would be like. Like a round ball. No, it wasn't.

[B]

What is it?

[C]

It's actually got, like, little square corners on the edge, and it, like, holds it in place. It was definitely neat.

[A]

I'm gonna get really perverse on you. How deep in can you see? You look into where the eye was.

[C]

You can see his whole eye socket. People ask this all the time. My sister was so nosy. She's like, what does it look like?

[A]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[C]

It looks like the tissue inside your mouth.

[A]

Oh, okay. Just, like, pink.

[C]

Just an empty little socket. Yeah.

[A]

Do you kiss it? Do you kiss the socket? I would.

[B]

Oh, my God, Dax, we have to be a little.

[A]

No, I mean, that's what the problem.

[C]

Never kiss the socket.

[A]

Oh, I didn't think I would.

[C]

Okay.

[B]

I really get it. Very vulnerable.

[C]

Yeah. Different.

[B]

How sweet.

[A]

So how long have you guys been together now?

[C]

We've been married for almost 10 years now.

[A]

Oh, wow.

[B]

Now, have you ever been around anyone else with a prosthetic eye and been

[C]

like, oh, I haven't. My dad has one leg, but both eyes.

[A]

Wait, did he have one leg growing up?

[C]

He got ran over on a motorcycle. It was right before he graduated. So I've only ever known him with one leg.

[A]

Yeah, I think that paves the way for this, in a way, yeah.

[C]

We always make jokes like, my dad has one leg, my husband has one eye. They're like, pirate.

[A]

Together, they make one perfect pirate.

[B]

Oh, my gosh.

[A]

He's a good dad. He's a good husband. But together they make a perfect pirate.

[B]

If he's ever being annoying the husband and you're, like, so annoyed with him, are you just, like. Can you just take your eye out so I can, like, like you again?

[C]

Yeah. Like, whenever we're mad, he's like, watch this.

[A]

Now can he drive? Because what I understand about stereoscopic vision is that you don't have depth perception if you only have one eye. Does he have depth perception issues?

[C]

He doesn't have depth perception, no, because he's just got the one. But, I mean, he drives. They let him.

[A]

Yeah. Yeah. Good, good. Well, Amanda, this is a very uplifting story. I really like it. Yeah, me too. Want this for him? Had he had girlfriends in high school?

[C]

He did, actually. I asked him if he ever used it as a pickup line. He said he used to use it as a pickup line, and it actually works.

[B]

Wow.

[A]

What was the line, do you know?

[C]

I don't know the specifics, but I just know, like, before we had started dating, I'm like, did you use this to your advantage? Because if I had one eye, I'd be using.

[B]

Oh, did you ask him? I feel like I would be like, how many people have you taken your eye out for? Cause that is a new level.

[C]

He had never taken his eye out in front of anyone except for his mom.

[B]

That's so sweet.

[A]

What if he's like, girl, I would take my eye out for you in your heart.

[B]

That is a good pickup line.

[C]

It is.

[D]

It is.

[A]

But he wouldn't because that's just a pickup line. Yeah.

[B]

He's a liar.

[A]

You'd have to wait seven months, too funny.

[C]

Yeah, you gotta wait seven months, then he'll think about it.

[B]

You gotta earn it.

[A]

The comedian in me cannot help but try to think of what line I would want to use.

[D]

Sure.

[A]

I gotta, like, reconstruct what I would say if I had one. Like, it doesn't take two eyes to see that you're gorgeous. You know, something along those lines.

[B]

Sure, sure. Maybe you can ask him and write back and we can report back.

[C]

I'll keep you posted, but I'll keep working on them.

[A]

I'll keep working on them.

[B]

Well, this was great.

[A]

Yeah. So, Amanda, are you a listener, or is your husband or neither or both.

[C]

Me, my friend, actually, I work with Her. She's the one who showed me the podcast. And so then we always look at the stories, and I was like, oh, my gosh, I have to write.

[E]

So happy.

[B]

You did.

[A]

Yeah, me too. Well, it's a delight to meet you. Thanks for sharing that with us.

[C]

Thank you, guys.

[A]

Send our love to your husband because he's a participant.

[C]

Unwillingly.

[B]

All right, bye.

[A]

Have a good day.

[C]

You too.

[B]

I would feel really lucky if someone took their eye out for me.

[D]

Of course.

[A]

Especially if it wasn't prosthetic.

[B]

Well, yeah, they just poke themselves.

[A]

I would be afraid for you if some man pops his healthy eye out. You just got rid of your bilateral serum horoscopic vision for me.

[B]

Well, I do like sacrifice. Hi, David.

[A]

How are you?

[E]

I'm good. How are you?

[B]

Are you in a log cabin?

[A]

I was gonna say you're in a wood paradise right now.

[E]

Well, I'm in Rhode Island.

[A]

Oh, I love this, but it looks like a hunting lodge vibe.

[E]

Yeah, it's just my living room. The closets here are too small.

[B]

It's so cute.

[E]

Thank you.

[A]

What are these antlers next to the door?

[E]

Well, it's kind of just for display.

[A]

Sure. Do they serve as coat racks?

[E]

Not really. I'm a gay man.

[B]

It's cute. It's really nice.

[E]

It's decorative.

[A]

We don't hang our coats on antlers. We don't. And are you from Rhode Island, David?

[E]

Yep. I grew up here. Born and raised. So hopefully not giving the little brother energy.

[B]

Oh, my God. I was about to say it, and then I stopped myself. Cause I was like, that's mean. You are not giving little brother energy. This is big boy. Big brother. Big boy.

[A]

Big boy.

[B]

Big boy energy.

[A]

Big boy energy would mean you have a salad bar for me. I know, because big boy hamburger.

[E]

Stop.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

You might be our first Rhode Islander. And you're breaking the stereotype that I have in my head. So this is great.

[E]

What was the Rhode island stereotype? Could I have?

[B]

Well, little brother energy.

[D]

Okay.

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

As we established.

[E]

Yeah.

[A]

Which I still don't really understand. I don't understand how a state can have energy.

[B]

I'm trying so hard to be like, my big brother. Boston or New York.

[E]

Listen, I think Rhode island has, like, I don't give a fuck energy.

[A]

I do, too.

[B]

I like that.

[A]

Robin's like, oh, no. Our gangsters are even nastier than Yalls.

[E]

Totally.

[B]

They're, like, telling you that because they need you. Need you to know.

[E]

Really tough. As you can see.

[A]

Funny enough, they're like, you tiny and mighty. You should love them.

[B]

I love it.

[E]

It's gorgeous.

[A]

And have you ever left for some period of time or just born there and stayed there there?

[E]

Yeah, I've lived in different places. I've lived in Canada, I've lived out in California. I was in Palm Springs for a bit. So I've been around. But Rhode island has a little bit of a gravitational pull. It keeps bringing you back.

[A]

You're close to a lot of wonderful things. Right. You're close to the Cape and Martha's Vineyard's not far. Right.

[E]

You can ski, there's beaches. I mean, it's all here. Come visit Rhode Island.

[B]

Yeah, this was a good ad for Rhode island tourism.

[A]

Okay, so you have an interesting kink. I think we use the word unique, but I would also say we could have said interesting.

[E]

It's not my kink. This is a Tinder story.

[A]

Oh, wonderful.

[E]

And usually for me, Tinder is not my go to because, you know, you want different things at different times, different moods. And Tinder is very like black and white. Swipe right, swipe left. I prefer Grindr, where you have the grid and you have different options. And so I was kind of on it and I was bored and I was just kind of swiping along and this guy popped up and he was an amateur bodybuilder. And so there's all these pictures of him flexing it's biceps, it's triceps. And it was like, ooh, whatever your mood is, he's going to be a swipe right.

[A]

That means yes.

[E]

That's a yes.

[A]

Okay, great, great, great, great.

[E]

So we swipe right and we start chatting. And I'm like, well, what are you looking for? What are you into? And he's like, well, I'm into something pretty specific. And I'm a 42 year old gay man. I feel like I've heard at this point most things.

[A]

Yeah. You're like, don't flatter yourself.

[E]

Yeah. I'm like, hit me. He says, well, have you ever heard of forced gay? I go, no, it's not something that's been on my radar. And he goes, well, I have this girlfriend in Australia and she's a professional dom. She's my mistress and she likes watching me get fucked in the ass by men on camera.

[A]

Oh, wow, wow, wow, wow.

[E]

And I go, well, do you enjoy getting fucked in the ass?

[B]

Great question.

[A]

Yeah. Yeah.

[E]

And he goes, I enjoy making her happy. And she really enjoys seeing this. And I guess this is like the Dom sub dynamic.

[B]

She's like, you do this, you have big boy.

[A]

What was it?

[B]

I didn't do a good job. I was like, you do this?

[E]

Yeah.

[A]

Didn't. Yeah, didn't.

[B]

Please do it right now, now if you want to.

[A]

You didn't imbue, like, great authority.

[E]

You know, I think in any other situation, like, nine times out of ten, I think I'd be like, I'm good.

[A]

This feels too complicated, right? There'll be someone watching in Australia. We got a time zone to think about.

[E]

I don't know that it's my thing, but he was really sexy.

[B]

Oh, yeah.

[E]

Also, when you step into the unknown, I find this is when you learn about yourself. So how bad could it be? So I say yes. The first hiccup was that it was this, like, logistical nightmare because she's in Australia, he's two hours away.

[B]

She get to, like, watch over zoom or something?

[E]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. That's the whole thing. She wants to watch it. So we finally pick the time, and we're gonna do it at my house. And I see him come down the driveway, and I'm, like, reliving it now. I'm getting sweaty.

[C]

Yeah.

[E]

So he parks his car, and he gets out, and he's kind of pacing back and forth in my driveway, and I can see that he's speaking, and I thought that maybe he was, like, giving himself a pep talk. And then I realized he's got the AirPods on, so that he's actually talking to his girlfriend, this mistress. So I open the door, and he comes inside really quick.

[A]

Do you offer him a water?

[E]

I don't think I did.

[B]

Why is she called a mistress if she's just his girlfriend?

[A]

Well, because subdom, it's probably just, like, sexy speak.

[E]

I don't know.

[A]

Yeah, like my mistress, you know, I

[B]

just didn't know if, like, someone's married in there.

[A]

No, no.

[B]

Because that's normally what the word mistress is used for.

[A]

I agree with you. But immediately when I heard subdom, I'm like, well, that's clearly one of these terms that there's a mistress.

[E]

Again, I don't know.

[B]

Okay, great.

[E]

As he comes into my house, the thing that immediately surprised was that I could hear her talking to him on the AirPods.

[B]

She's like, giving directions.

[E]

Yes. And she's going, tell him how excited you are to get fucked. And he's like, I'm so excited to get fucked. And she goes, tell him how much you like cum. And he's like, oh, I just love cum. And I'm like, okay.

[B]

Forced gay. Like, it really is forced. She's saying exactly what he has to do.

[E]

Yeah, she was kind of, like, piloting.

[A]

I was gonna say to me, it feels like you're about to have sex with a remote control car. Like, someone is complet controlling this for, like, Iron Man. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

[E]

So I'm like, let's go upstairs. And so we go into my room, and he pulls out his tripod that he has. He has, like, a whole setup so that she can watch. And now I'm thinking, I'm like, I don't know what I signed up for. Like, I might be in a little bit over my head.

[A]

Sure. Well, I mean, a porn that's distributed.

[E]

Yes. And so she's on this phone. Luckily, I couldn't see her because I was starting to get nervous that it was going to be like a FaceTime experience. But she could see us. And he immediately starts undressing. He climbs onto my bed, and he's just like, ass up.

[A]

Well, can I pause you, though, for one second?

[E]

Please.

[A]

I'm putting myself in this situation. I would be like, oh, my God, this is crazy. I don't even know. Does he really want any of this? And then he would get naked and be like, you know what? All that went out the window. Did you have that moment? You're like, okay, this is going to be a party.

[E]

I was more like, oh, I am just a dildo, right?

[A]

You're a prop for her. She's in charge of both of you. Yeah, yeah, I'm a prop.

[E]

And he's being piloted like, this isn't about me.

[B]

His ear pod fell out while he's in the middle, and he's like, hold on.

[A]

Yeah, I don't know what I'm supposed to do now.

[E]

And he is really sexy. And I'm like, trying to get hard because I'm like, well, I am a dildo. And I am just completely at this point in my head. And I'm just like, now I'm doing hand gestures, but I'm just, like, pulling, like, harder and harder and harder. Like, I'm trying to start a fire.

[A]

Sure, sure. Trying to really bring it to attention.

[E]

Yeah.

[B]

Because this isn't. Well, I guess to some people it could be sexy.

[E]

Monica, it was not sexy. I got, like, half masked, like, enough that I was like, I think I can achieve penetration. So I climb on top of him, and I'm, like, trying to stick it in, and it's really going. And she's continuing to speak, and she's telling him, like, tell him how much you want his load?

[A]

Oh, my God.

[E]

And then she's like, barking out orders of like, move the camera to the right. Move the camera to the left. And she's basically now, like, directing it. I was like, guys, I just need a minute. I'm stepping out.

[B]

Yeah, yeah.

[A]

Let's all regroup. And she needs to calm down with her barking orders. Like, at least the base of it. Give him one command.

[B]

She didn't go to jail.

[A]

Chill for a sec.

[E]

It was also in this Australian accent that I found a little bit. Like, it was just a lot.

[A]

Yeah, it was like the woman who wouldn't come to a million. It can get grating, and I love the accent, but they're not giving you a good message. It can be grading.

[E]

So I go into my living room. I just need to check in with myself. I was like, is this even still a yes?

[B]

Right, Right.

[A]

Good for you.

[E]

Because it's definitely not a hell, yeah. But it's not like an act of violence against myself for me to fuck this beautiful man on my bed. What I needed, though, was some entry point into the eroticism.

[A]

Well, you guys weren't connecting one iota. He's dialed explod exclusively into her.

[E]

Well, it's like you're telling someone a story and they're scrolling on their phone, not present, so I need something I can latch onto. And I was like, well, I guess it's, like, kind of sweet that he's doing this thing for this woman that he really loves, that they have this really special connection. I'm like, I think I can work with that.

[A]

You're trying to find your way in. You're trying to find your way in.

[E]

Desperately trying to find my way in.

[A]

Yeah.

[E]

And I'm like, I will do this for them. Like, this isn't going to be for me. I'm just going to give them a performance. Like that's what they want. So I pulled up some porn on my phone, all systems go. Went into the bedroom, climbed on top, and she's still directing and talking. And I'm just using, like, 100% of my brain. Stay in it.

[B]

Oh, God.

[E]

There's zero percent chance that I'm gonna come, but they really want that. And I was like, I'm just gonna pretend they're not gonna know. It's like I'm inside of him. Like, he doesn't know. He's not even gay. So I, like, do this really performative orgasm. She loves it. He loves it. He hangs up with her, which was nice. And then he's finally present in the room. And he was like, that was really hot. Do you have any feedback for me? Like, anything you want to share as

[A]

an actor, as a partner?

[E]

And I was like, well, yeah, I didn't realize that your girlfriend was gonna be so present. Fucking this man in the ass was like, the straightest thing that I've ever done.

[C]

Sure.

[A]

Right. Yeah, yeah, yeah, exactly.

[E]

Ironically, it would've been nice to chat with her about expectations and what she wanted to get out of it. And also, the bitch needs to commit to an angle.

[A]

Yeah. You're micromanaging.

[E]

Yeah. Because you can either commit to one angle and see decent sex, hopefully, or do this micromanagement and see pretty bad sex.

[A]

Yeah, yeah.

[E]

And he was like, oh, can I call her back so that you can give her that feedback? And I was like, no, this is over.

[B]

Oh, wow.

[A]

Did he ever reach out again? Did he want a round two?

[E]

He didn't.

[A]

He didn't want a round one.

[B]

Exactly, exactly.

[E]

The whole thing was a little suspicious. Cause I guess he actually may be just gay. This girlfriend's a cover for it, and this is permission structure.

[D]

Yeah.

[A]

I don't know.

[E]

There's a lot going on.

[B]

There's a lot.

[A]

You could do a lot of armchair psychoanalysis on the whole scenario.

[E]

Well, that's my story.

[B]

That was a great story. I've never heard about that.

[E]

Forced gay.

[A]

I do wonder if they ever even have been together. They met on the Internet, and this whole relationship's taking place with her in Australia over the Internet.

[E]

I kind of thought maybe she wasn't even going to be real. Like, oh, I have this girlfriend in Australia.

[D]

Right.

[A]

Again, like, kind of masking.

[E]

She was definitely real.

[A]

Yeah. Real bossy.

[B]

It sounds like.

[C]

Wow.

[B]

She knew what she wanted. It was basically like you were having sex with her.

[E]

That's what it felt like.

[A]

Did you have any sense of whether she was masturbating or not? She must have been. Yeah.

[E]

Oh, I don't know. I don't know much about female masturbation, admittedly. I don't know if I would have picked up on the cues.

[B]

I think you would have. I don't think she was. I mean, if you could hear her.

[A]

Why else is she watching it, if not to masturbate? What would be the point of putting this guy through all this?

[E]

Power. Yeah.

[B]

It might not be a sexual kink, I hope.

[A]

She's our next caller, I'll tell you that.

[E]

Yeah. You could get this story from every angle.

[B]

Yeah. Kind of like she got.

[A]

Wow.

[B]

Well, that was great. Thank you for teaching us.

[A]

Yeah, yeah.

[E]

I'm glad you enjoyed it.

[A]

Tell me more about your dwelling. I'm just so into it. Was it built in the 50s or 70s?

[E]

1978.

[A]

78.

[E]

Yeah, it's kind of this like mid century ish cabin in the forest here in Rhode Island. It's very cozy. We just had a foot of snow. It's very picturesque.

[A]

You got a wood burning stove somewhere in there?

[E]

Downstairs?

[B]

Oh, baby, you're so handsome. I wish you lived in la. I could set you up with Jess. Oh, you also seem fun to be around, so it'd be fun.

[E]

Yeah. I am single.

[A]

Oh, wow.

[B]

Maybe you should come visit if you

[A]

ever travel to la.

[B]

Yeah, give us a ring thing.

[E]

I'll do that.

[A]

And if you'd be more comfortable, Monica can be on a phone call with him the whole time you guys are together.

[B]

I'll tell Jess what to say.

[A]

Well, wonderful meeting you, David. This was delightful.

[E]

Nice meeting you guys.

[C]

Take care.

[A]

All right.

[C]

Bye.

[A]

Bye.

[B]

Oh, I just had a stomach grumble. It wasn't a fart.

[A]

Okay, bless you.

[B]

Not a fart.

[A]

You know, every time I fart link, it says bless you really quickly, like she's really got it. It's her first thought. And I that it's such a good joke and I'm just so impressed how immediately you remember.

[B]

Yeah, that's great.

[A]

Oh, hello. I'm calling you Rico.

[D]

Yeah, I'm Rico.

[A]

How are you, Rico?

[D]

I'm doing good. As you see, my art is not perfect. And I'm not in a closet.

[B]

No, you're fine, you're fine.

[D]

I apologize. But if you wanted to wait, I should be home in about five minutes to be in the closet like you guys requested. Or we can just go.

[B]

Let's go.

[A]

Let's party. Yeah, if you're up for it.

[D]

Okay, let's party.

[A]

Yeah. Yeah. Where are you driving around?

[D]

I was training with my parents over here.

[A]

Hi. Hi. What state are you in?

[D]

We are in Florida.

[A]

Okay, so you guys and us are about the only people not miserable right now.

[D]

Yeah, I heard that the rest of the country is suffering from zero degrees and a lot of snow. And as you can see, short sleeves. Sleeves, short pants. It's 82 degrees.

[A]

Oh, baby, baby, baby. So, Rico, where are you from?

[D]

I am from Puerto Rico. That's where my accent's from. But I've been in the United States since I was 18. But yeah, my accent is not gone.

[A]

That's okay. It's very charming. I wouldn't try to get rid of It.

[B]

Yeah. Keep it, please.

[A]

It's working.

[D]

Thank you so much.

[A]

Okay, so you have a unique kink, and we're so excited to hear about it.

[D]

Yeah. So before anything, I just want you to know I am in the sim right now. I've been, like, daydreaming about this and just thinking, wow, you know, maybe one day they're going to interview me.

[E]

And now it's happening.

[D]

Feels so amazing.

[A]

Oh, good, good.

[D]

When I saw the prompt, I just went like, oh, this is me. They're calling me.

[A]

Ding, ding, ding, ding.

[D]

The kink is one that I've been always hiding, ashamed of, and just very curious. Who can I open myself to sharing about this? It's still something that lingers in there, and I wish I could somehow hear it. But let me just give you the punchline right now. Later on, I'll give you the climb.

[C]

Max.

[D]

The punchline is that my unusual kink is I like my toes Nibble. Done.

[A]

Oh, okay. Wonderful.

[B]

This is not uncommon.

[A]

Let's just start with. I think most people would enjoy their toes being nibbled on.

[D]

Good. I fantasize about this. Even when I've gotten massages, I would pay extra.

[A]

Right.

[D]

But I'll tell you how this started. Most kids will be comforted by their parents through a blankie or a teddy bear. And in my case, it was my mom used to nibble on my toes.

[A]

Oh, okay.

[D]

I loved it. That was the thing that it would soothe me. And I am a parent right now. I do anything to indulge my kid and to help them get through the day, whatever it is. And my mom would do that. I am one of four kids. I was the only one that requested this.

[B]

Okay.

[D]

It went on for many years, but around maybe when I was turning eight years old, we began to get looks by other family members or even siblings. He's just like, what is this woman doing with him? It just looks weird.

[A]

Yeah, sure.

[D]

I would pick up on those hints, and then my mom, I would see her, like, side glancing and say, like, now almost like we're doing something taboo.

[E]

Oh, right.

[A]

Yes, yes.

[B]

Yeah.

[D]

And imagine 8 years old, I'm just learning what's right, what's wrong. But anyhow, my mom stopped doing it, but I still had that need to soothe myself. So I just learned to actually bring my toes to my mouth.

[A]

Oh, my God. You can get your toes in your mouth.

[D]

I can still do it.

[B]

Oh, my God.

[E]

Wow.

[B]

And it would work if you did it to yourself. You still got the same sense.

[D]

Yeah, I still got it. It's not as good as when she was doing it. But of course that got me through that season of my life.

[A]

Wait, can I just say real quick, there's a couple things I want to point out. Like, one is my mom always strokes the side of my hair really gently and she just grazes my ear and I love it. And she still, as an adult, if she is in town, I lay in her lap and she says, you want me to pet the side of your head? And I say, yes. And like, that's totally acceptable. Right. But all these things are so fucking arbitrary, right? Like, for some reason, it's totally fine to stroke your kid's ear, but then, yeah, to nibble on the toes is something, and it's just very quite arbitrary.

[B]

Yeah, you're right.

[A]

And then even you sucking your toes, people suck their thumb.

[B]

Exactly.

[A]

You might be worried they're gonna get buck teeth, but you don't think there's any moral imperative being broken. And who gives a fuck what digits you're sucking to soothe? Okay. I wanted to say all those things.

[D]

Yeah. My whole family knows about this. They still, to this day will sometimes bring it up. They ask me, do you still do it? Whatever. And I just try to avoid the topic just because I had that shame.

[B]

Yeah, yeah.

[D]

Move on into the future. I started getting into serious relationships with women. And like I said, I've wanted to get that itch scratched. And I've been lucky that, that I've had some great partners in my life who wanted to indulge me. But I remember it's just like the very first long partner that I had, she did it once. She would see the face that I was just turning to an emotional nirvana. That's what I needed. You know, it's like the best massage in the world. And she probably did it like once or twice. She's like, it's too weird. And then the shame returns, you know, I can't do that anymore. Sometimes, honestly, when I'm in the bedroom by myself, I would just like, nibble on my toilet a little bit as a way to soothe myself. Next relationship, same thing. I just risk, can I test this person to see if she'll do it with me? She would do it once and then be like, oh, that's too weird. You know, and my toes are washed. I trimmed my nails, but it was just too weird. And I go back to being in shame a lot now. Fast forward to now. I am engaged to a smoke show.

[B]

Yeah, we saw her. She's beautiful.

[A]

Yes. Are she's A knockout.

[D]

Thank you. Same thing. I started going out with her and we're little by little confessing things about ourselves. And I just confess one day it's just like, hey, you know, this is one kink. If you could indulge me. We just like change everything right off the bat. No, it's too weird. No way. And I just go back to my shame and things are going great between us. But it's always this thing that I've wanted. And like I said, if I could pay somebody to do it as a part time gig, it would be the one thing as a billionaire, I would definitely have a team of billionaires.

[A]

Rico, I'm having a really hard time understanding why these women think it's so weird I've sucked on girls toes. I don't think it's weird. I don't give a fuck. Right?

[D]

I would totally do it. Like I'm giving my girl full massage and I'm like kneeling on her toes, at least giving her kisses. It's not the same for her. It's not being the same for anybody else like it is for me. But anyhow, the climax of this story was that during the beginning of the relationship with my current fiance. If I can just get a little bit more explicit, if it's possible.

[A]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

[D]

Because my son listens to this podcast. One day we're in the bedroom, we're having fun and it's amazing. Like I said, she's super hot. I'm just looking at her body and she is riding me reverse cowgirl. And I'm just looking at her curves as I am climaxing into that moment, like, this is so amazing. She bends down and starts nibbling on my toes.

[A]

Good girl. Yes, she does get it girl.

[B]

For her. Oh my God.

[D]

You've seen in the Matrix when Neo gets disconnected from the machine. You know, like I don't know if I went offline or if I came online. It's like the most vivid memory that I've had.

[B]

Wow.

[A]

Oh yeah. You combined it all.

[B]

I'm so glad she gave that to you.

[A]

Yes.

[D]

Nothing can equal that gift to me. It just took me to a different place.

[A]

And when she saw what an incredible reaction it elicited out of you. Did it encourage her to do that more?

[D]

Very reluctantly, but she'll do it.

[A]

That might even be the best version where it's like you don't know when it's coming.

[B]

Not every time, but it's a special treat.

[D]

Sometimes we are like giving each other foot massages in front of the TV as we're watching something, and then it'll just come over me, and we're like, maybe I'm going to risk it. Hey, do you mind, like, nibble on my pinky?

[A]

Yeah.

[D]

I make sure my nasal cut and everything just to make it as comfortable as possible. And she, like, nibble on it. And I'm like, oh, God. Thank you.

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

Wow. I have a logistical question, if you don't mind, and you don't have to answer if you don't want to, but is it, like, with teeth or is it, like, sucking the teeth?

[D]

Like, the actual mechanism to me, like, the highest level of pressure would be my pinky toe. With your bottom teeth biting against the neck nail. Or sometimes the fatty part of my toes where the fat is on the bottom, Kind of like where your fingerprints are in that area.

[B]

Yeah.

[E]

Okay.

[A]

It's like they're eating corn on the cob. Yeah.

[B]

It is literally nibbling.

[C]

Yeah. Oh.

[A]

Oh, this is so doable. Have you ever had a dog nibble on your toes?

[D]

Being close. And I thought about it, it's just like, maybe I can train a dog with peanut butter, but that's even too weird for me.

[A]

We found your threshold. I guess then we get into a different zone altogether, right? Yeah, we'. Animals. Okay. Well, I think this is an adorable desire, and I feel like you should be indulged.

[D]

Thank you.

[A]

Like, if I can make someone happy that easily, truly, I would just be like, fuck, yeah. Great. I know a way to make you happy.

[B]

Some of these things with these kinks, it's like, it's a superpower.

[A]

You can instantly make someone happy.

[B]

It's harder to do with people who don't have any kinks.

[D]

The more honesty you have with your partner, the more you can unlock secrets within yourselves that just shortcut you to get the results that you want. Especially if your partner comes home and they. They are not in a great mood. It's just like, oh, maybe it is. I should just put on some music, because that's the thing that they want, you know? Like, it's so easy to indulge a person if they're thing. Or my partner is. She wants foot massages. No problem. Massage your feet if that helps you unwind. It's so simple for me. Some things, they just don't display in movies as often, so they're not part of the culture.

[A]

Well, I think Quentin Tarantino's gotten close. I think if anyone was going to give it to you, it'd probably be

[B]

Tarantino, but even that's wrapped in like, oh, oh, it's naughty. It's not in your vanilla sex scene, which it should be.

[E]

It could be.

[D]

Oh, my God. If I stood in a R rated movie, I probably rewind that scene just to, like, see it a couple times.

[B]

Yeah, of course.

[D]

I was actually watching Aladdin the other day and I remember how somebody called saying that Aladdin would get her horny. I don't know if you remember that one.

[E]

Oh, yeah, yeah.

[A]

She was pumping her stairs in her basement or something.

[B]

Yeah, she was. I think those masturbation stories.

[E]

Yeah.

[B]

God, we've really run the gambit.

[A]

Yeah, we'll do it all here.

[D]

Wanted to tell you that I listen on road trips, like I said, even with my son. Sometimes there are some ones that I have to just put the headphones on him and be like, don't worry about this. But we love it. My fiance and I are faithful listeners. But like I said, I just wouldn't want to share this with anybody because it's unusual and I have shame around it.

[A]

Oh, Rico, liberate you from this shame. This is so harmless and lovely. Yeah.

[B]

This isn't causing anyone any harm or anything?

[D]

No.

[B]

Some kinks.

[A]

Do they get a little dangerous?

[E]

Yeah.

[B]

This one's very benign and cute.

[D]

Oh, thank you.

[A]

Monica would nibble your toes if you were dating. You would, right?

[B]

Yeah, if we were dating, I would do it.

[D]

I wanted to tell you guys both something. One of them, of course. Monica, I'm gonna be hitting on you for a quick minute, if I may hit on you.

[A]

Sure.

[D]

Before I do it, Dax. I came across you guys through the interview with Tim Ferriss. But I love your day seven episode because I'm also in recovery. I've been sober for about two and a half years. My recovery is from sex and porn and it's. And that one. You know, with all that shame, when I was listening to your day seven, I just felt like I had to stop and cry and stop and cry and stop and cry. It really helped me a lot. By the way, I have never seen who you guys were before. Later on I like go, who was Zach Sagan? I go, oh, yeah, the guy from Punk'd. And look at him now. She's like, this guy is good looking. The tattoos, the LLC arrived in me. I'm like, I don't want to listen to this because I am so bad. But then I listen to Monica just being attentive towards you and I am a sucker for attention. And I thought, who is this chick? I know you, Monica. Your Eyes heal me.

[B]

That's so nice. I'm so flattered.

[D]

I am next to I can with these two people. And I wish that one day you do bring some sort of sex addiction expert. Every time one of us that have addictions get shamed or just get misidentified, you just go like, oh, no. They're just misunderstanding their do it. Because none of us that are in this program want to do any harm. But some of us have so much shame around it that we just rather not carry on living. All you have to do is bring a little bit of awareness and understanding, and I think that could heal a lot of people in the community, a lot of people in the world, since you guys have so much reach.

[A]

Rico. I totally agree. I say this often about SLA. SLA is currently at the acceptance level that AA was in the 40s where men were having to really hide that they were alcoholics. It was so shaming to. And I feel terrible that SLA is decades behind the acceptance of people in AA and it's totally unfair. And I know and love many people in that program. And I'll applaud the people in that program because if part of my recovery was I had to use cocaine successfully in a healthy way, good luck to me, man. And I say this about people in OA as well. It's like, you gotta eat. So to have to wrestle your addiction three times a day. Day. Or to have relationships and have a sexual relationship and been trying to keep that in the boundaries of what's good for you. It's a really impressive undertaking. And I have a lot of admiration for the people who are tackling it.

[D]

It's very difficult. It does become beautiful because you figure out, like, in my case, if I was just very obsessed with something, it would just take so many hours of your day. And then now when you open that up where it's like, oh, now I can actually walk my dog. I can paint more. I can do my hobbies. Life just triples in terms of the things that actually give me fulf.

[A]

Rico. It's identical in that the preoccupation of addiction steals your presence from all other things you're doing.

[D]

That's a great way to say it, man.

[A]

Yeah. Well, it's beautiful to meet you. Yeah. I really, really enjoyed this. I hope this sim moment was good for you as it was for us.

[D]

Thank you so much and I appreciate your time today. Hope to see you again for another unturn. Anonymous.

[A]

Absolutely.

[B]

Have a great day. Oh, my goodness, man. I loved him.

[A]

Me too. Oh, Rico, we love you.

[B]

Oh, man. Oh, that was great.

[A]

Yeah. It feels like such a tiny request.

[B]

I agree, but you don't want to

[A]

shame anyone who doesn't.

[B]

Doesn't want to do it. Yeah, I know. This is where things like, no one should do what they don't want to do. Yeah, absolutely. And it's sad to me that he has so much shame around that, because it's not that big of a deal.

[A]

As you said, quite benign.

[B]

It's benign. It's not a bunny bunion.

[A]

It's not a bunion. Although if he had a bunion, I bet he'd love to get it.

[B]

I mean, I would maybe want to nibble on a bunion.

[A]

Then it combines the eye thing and the nibbling on the toes.

[B]

Well, yeah, Bump. That's like you kind of want to chew it off.

[A]

And maybe they're insecure about it and you let them know. No, I love your bun.

[B]

Trust.

[A]

Look, beautiful.

[B]

Kinks are about trust.

[A]

Yep. You heard it here first.

[B]

I invented that.

[E]

All right.

[C]

Love you. Love you.

[A]

Do you want to sing a tune or something?

[E]

When it was a theme song.

[A]

Oh, okay, great. We don't have a theme song for this new show, so here I go, go, go. We're gonna ask some random questions, and with the help of armchairs, we'll get some suggestions on the fire rhyme dish. On the fire rhyme dish.

[D]

Enjoy.