Best of Monday 2025

Summary

Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard

Best of Monday 2025 (December 22, 2025)

Host: Dax Shepard
Co-host: Monica Padman

---

Episode Overview

This “Best of Monday 2025” episode is a highlight reel celebrating Top Moments from the Armchair Expert’s 2025 interviews. Dax Shepard and Monica Padman revisit and react to standout stories and intimate conversations with a diverse slate of guests, ranging from comedians and musicians to actors and writers. The episode centers on vulnerability, growth, the winding paths of creative careers, and the universal messiness of being human.

---

Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Celebrity Encounters and Imposter Syndrome

With Nikki Glazer ([02:30]-[04:45])

• Nikki at the Grammys: Nikki shares how intimidating high-profile events can be, admitting to feeling small—despite her own nomination.
  • “I feel like I don’t belong there…even though I was nominated for a Grammy, but, like, I didn’t win. I was so mad.” ([02:32])
• Her boyfriend coaches her on the value of connecting with peers, but Nikki can’t bring herself to approach icons like Taylor Swift:
  • “I just don’t want her to make a less great song because she had to be like, ‘nice to meet you, oh,’ and like, hold me as I’m crying.” ([03:28])
• Monica echoes the post-awards "depression" of seeing through the Hollywood facade:
  • “No matter how big you get, you kind of worry about who’s in the room, who’s looking at you, where you’re seated. I kind of go through a depression afterwards.” ([04:24])
• Dax summarizes:
  • “It’s seeing the magic trick a bit. You realize, oh, there isn’t any pixie dust.” ([04:41])

2. Comedy, Consent & Roasts

With Dax & Monica ([06:16]-[10:02])

• Monica revisits writing a roast joke years before her show began and confronts feelings of hypocrisy and unintentional repetition in comedy.
• Dax reflects on his time on Punk’d, making jokes at celebrities’ expense to be “invited to the party,” and later bumping into hurt targets.
  • “For years, I’m bumping into Timberlake, and he hates my guts… Don’t you understand, buddy? I was, like, dead broke, and that was my only chance.” ([08:00])
• They discuss the consent implicit in celebrity roast culture.
  • Monica: “At Roast, I feel like everything’s on the table because they’ve signed up for it.” ([08:17])
  • Dax: “We should make a distinction...Tom Brady’s getting $25 million. He has consented.” ([08:28])
• Both admit to being sensitive, avoiding reading comments, and needing to protect their mental health:
  • Monica: “I’ve been sober from comments, which I think should be a thing.” ([10:22])

3. Trauma, Displacement & Family Survival

With Mo Amer ([11:01]-[16:28])

• Mo shares the shock of the 1990 Gulf War disrupting his childhood and family stability:
  • “It was the first time I knew that we were stateless...I didn’t know anything was wrong.” ([13:33])
• Harrowing stories of soldiers invading his home, threatening family, and his father being forced to aid the invading army.
  • “They got to our house at one o’clock in the morning...They were threatening my mom, my dad...they were going to throw a grenade in the bedroom.” ([14:00])

4. Near-Misses, Self-Sabotage, and Luck

With Brad Pitt ([18:02]-[23:23])

• Brad jokes about never having had a “gay experience” then reveals he left college just before fully graduating, drawn to L.A. by opportunity.
  • “I had one week left...but I just decided, done. I don’t want to do this.” ([18:45])
• The desperate, catch-22 of trying to get a SAG card, and embarrassing efforts to “get in”:
  • “You can’t get a job, you don’t have your SAG card, but you can’t get your SAG card unless you’ve had a job.” ([22:28])
  • On chaos: “Like a jackass...I go, ‘Would you like anything else?’ The first AD runs over: ‘You do that again, you’re out of here.’” ([23:15])

5. Addiction, Jail, and Unlikely Success

With Dominic Fike ([28:47]-[36:42])

• Dominic explains using drugs under house arrest, failing a test, and being jailed—then releasing a mixtape from jail that sparked a $4 million bidding war for his music.
  • “These dudes start flying from California to visit me in the jail. I’m at the phone like this with this dude that’s like, ‘Hey Dominic, you ready to be a millionaire?’... I’m homeless, doing this for a penny, under $4 million.” ([33:05])
• The juxtaposition of family crisis, producing art, and meteoric fortune is intense:
  • “My mom is in jail, my dad’s in jail...my sister’s up for adoption. So, you know, each lawyer for them is 200 grand. I’m like, this is my work that y’all are buying.” ([35:02])

6. Parental Loss, Depression, and Boundaries with Grief

With Dove Cameron ([37:03]-[46:21])

• Dove details efforts to reconnect with her suicidal, depressive father, and the painful confusion kids feel about parental withdrawal.
• “I thought he was mad at me...when you’re a kid, like, you blame yourself, of course.” ([39:01])
• Dax and Monica discuss the limits of storytelling around personal trauma, the need to keep parts private:
  • “Some stuff you can keep for yourself. Not because you’re hiding it out of shame, but just, it’s yours to keep and you should keep it.” ([44:26])
• A poignant moment around Dove’s tattoo:
  • Monica: “What is the tattoo, if you don’t mind sharing?”
  • Dove: “It says ‘we’ll be friends forever,’ which is just, like, the sweetest.” ([45:46])
  • Dax, emotionally: “If they had to tattoo that on them at some point, ‘cause something went sideways, you know, it’s just heartbreaking.” ([45:34])

7. Struggles in Hollywood: Persistence & the Long Road to Success

With Alexander Skarsgård ([53:05]-[59:15])

• Skarsgård’s “overnight” break didn’t lead to immediate success; after Zoolander, he spent years unable to find work.
  • “I went to Zoolander...and I booked that baby...[then] nothing happened for a long time.” ([53:05])
• Describes years of rejected auditions, financial stress, and the humbling experience of being an outsider in Hollywood.
  • “I was constantly worried that [my agency] would drop me because I wasn’t booking anything.” ([54:33])
• On the surreal transition to exclusivity and fame:
  • “I wanted that...and I have it, and I love that...but I can’t...walk up to a bouncer... If there’s a line, I can’t walk up and be like, ‘what’s up, let me in.’” ([58:06])

8. Motherhood, Regret, and Accepting "the Other Side"

With Jennifer Aniston ([59:25]-[64:26])

• Monica, vulnerable, opens up about her struggles with fertility and the peace (and complexity) in accepting a life without children:
  • Jennifer: “There’s a point where it’s like, it’s out of my control. There’s literally nothing I can do about it…But is there the moments of, ‘Hmm’? Of course. That’ll pass in three seconds.” ([61:07])
• They discuss the liberation on the other side of acceptance and fleeting feelings of “what could have been.”

9. Women’s Sexuality, Representation, & Late Bloomers

With Mindy Kaling ([74:28]-[82:00])

• Mindy on writing about ambitious, horny women—how her teen experience shaped her show’s sexual politics:
  • “My shows have a lot of horny women. My friend BJ Novak makes this joke: every trailer for any Mindy Kaling show has a hot man’s torso in slow motion.” ([74:39])
• Monica and Mindy share their late sexual debuts, combating stigma, and hoping to normalize varying trajectories for future generations.
  • “I now that I have three children, definitely want to destigmatize this.” (Mindy, [80:12])

10. Parental Death, Achievement, and the Roots of Motivation

With Adam Scott ([65:06]-[72:40])

• Adam processes grief through work, describing the loss of his mother as “part of the sky going away.”
  • “When she was gone...part of the reason I was doing this in the first place was for her to see it.” ([72:40])
• Dax and Monica reflect on the unique and deeply embedded role of mothers, and the thankless, unbreakable tether that shapes so much of our identities.

11. Self-Sabotage & Mystique of “Easy” Success

With Charlie Sheen ([82:00]-[88:21])

• Charlie tells an infamous story of nodding off during a movie shoot, trying to “wake up” by putting ice up his butt.
  • “I said, ‘I need a cup of ice...just the ice’...I stick an ice cube up my butt... and was suddenly wide awake...There’s footage of these takes in the movie, which is incredible.” ([83:57])
• Dax and Monica probe whether ease of success triggers self-sabotage in high performers, with Charlie’s life as a case study.

---

Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• On Self-Doubt at the Grammys
  • “I just wanted to have a reason to be there. So I was being very small.” – Nikki Glazer ([02:32])
• On Comedy, Hypocrisy, and Roast Culture
  • “Even when I get mad, everyone’s such a hypocrite.” – Monica Padman ([06:24])
  • “I’ve been on Conan making fun of the cast of The Expendables...maybe Sly was at home, bombed.” – Dax Shepard ([06:46])
• On the Loss of Magic in Hollywood
  • “It’s seeing the magic trick a bit. You realize, oh, there isn’t any pixie dust.” – Dax Shepard ([04:41])
• On Childhood Trauma and Loss
  • “It was the first time seeing your parents so worried.” – Mo Amer ([14:00])
• On Acceptance After Loss
  • “There’s a point where it’s like, it’s out of my control. There’s literally nothing I can do about it.” – Jennifer Aniston ([61:07])
• On Cherishing Boundaries with Painful Stories
  • “Some stuff you can keep for yourself. Not because you’re hiding it out of shame, but just, it’s yours to keep and you should keep it for yourself.” – Dax Shepard ([44:26]).
• On Achievement and Parental Approval
  • “When she was gone...part of the reason I was doing this in the first place was for her to see it.” – Adam Scott ([72:40])

---

Important Timestamps

• [02:30-04:45] Nikki Glazer on award show imposter syndrome & the post-celebration letdown.
• [06:16-10:22] Dax & Monica on the ethics of roasting, consent, and emotional aftermath.
• [11:01-16:28] Mo Amer’s firsthand account of the Gulf War’s impact on his family.
• [18:02-23:23] Brad Pitt’s meandering path to Hollywood, self-sabotage, and getting started.
• [28:47-36:42] Dominic Fike: jail, trauma, and signing a $4M record deal.
• [37:03-46:27] Dove Cameron on her father’s depression, loss, and memory tattoos.
• [53:05-59:15] Alexander Skarsgård on years of rejection and the surreal nature of fame.
• [59:25-64:26] Jennifer Aniston and Monica discuss fertility, regret, and finding peace.
• [74:28-82:00] Mindy Kaling and Monica dig into representation, late bloomers, and dating taboos.
• [65:06-72:40] Adam Scott: grief and how mother’s approval motivates achievement.
• [82:00-88:21] Charlie Sheen: self-destruction, strangeness, and waking up on set.

---

Tone & Atmosphere

• Warm, self-deprecating, and candid: Both hosts and guests toggle between hilarious, deeply personal, and sometimes dark recollections—but always with an undercurrent of empathy, humor, and resilience.
• Emphasis on vulnerability: Almost every story returns to the theme that the “messiness" of being human—whether in failure, coping, or eccentricity—is not just forgivable, but beautiful.
• Safe space for confession: The show’s strength lies in its guests’ willingness to admit to imperfection, regret, shame, and the desire for connection.

---

Summary

"Best of Monday 2025” aggregates a year’s worth of human truths: creative anxiety and imposter syndrome at celebrity events, the blurred ethics of comedy, the enduring aftershocks of family trauma, the impossibility of “having it all,” and the long tail of hope and heartbreak. Dax’s anthropology background and Monica’s mix of sharpness and vulnerability create a podcast that isn’t just a celebrity highlight reel—it’s a warm, chaotic, honest survey of why no one feels fully at home in their own story, and why that might be a universal relief.

Listeners are left with a patchwork of wisdom: Hold boundaries around private pain, laugh at your own contradictions, connect when you can, and forgive the mess.

Transcript

[Dax Shepard]

Wondry plus subscribers can listen to Armchair Expert early and ad free right now. Join Wondry plus in the Wondry app or on Apple Podcasts or you can listen for free wherever you get your podcasts. Welcome, welcome, welcome to Armchair Expert. I'm Dan Shepard. I'm with Lily Padman.

[Monica Padman]

Hi.

[Dax Shepard]

Today is Best of Mondays 2025. We are supported by ServiceNow. You know what? I love not having to do boring, repetitive stuff. I want to focus on the interesting conversations, the creative work, the things that really matter to and apparently that's exactly what ServiceNow does for entire organizations. AI is only as powerful as the platform it's built into. Here's the thing. ServiceNow has basically become the operating system of AI. Instead of Frankensteining together different tools, ServiceNow unifies people, data, workflows and AI connecting every corner of your business. That's why it's no surprise that more than 85% of the Fortune 500 use the ServiceNow AI platform. Talking HR, customer service, every department you can think of. And here's what's cool. They got Idris Elba as their brand ambassador. I mean, come on, if you're going to have someone represent your company, might as well be the guy who's basically the CEO everyone wants to be, right? With AI agents working together autonomously, anyone in any department can focus on the work that matters Most. Learn how ServiceNow puts AI to work for [e-mail] we are supported by Allstate. You know what's smart? Checking Allstate first for a quote that could save you hundreds on car insurance. You know what's not smart? Not checking your phone's volume before blasting your morning pump up playlist in the office break room. Or not checking that your laptop camera's off before joining the meeting in your robe or something I'm a little too familiar with not checking your grocery list before heading to the store and realizing you bought everything except what you needed. Yeah, checking first is smart. So check Allstate first for a quote that could save you hundreds. You're in good hands with Allstate. Potential savings vary subject to terms, condition and availability. Allstate North American Insurance Company and Affiliates, Northbrook, Illinois.

[Monica Padman]

He's an object.

[Dax Shepard]

He's an object. From episode 861. Nikki Glazer.

[Monica Padman]

Well, last night I was at the Grammys and my boyfriend, I'm just trying to be very small. Like, I feel like I don't belong there. I don't want people even noticing me to go, like, why is she here? Even though I was nominated for a Grammy, but, like, I didn't win. I was so mad. I didn't win only because I wanted to bring my Grammy to, like, hold it, to be like, I belong. I just wanted to have a reason to be there. So I was being very small. And then people were come. You know, people were coming up to me being like, oh, my God, I love, like, people I'm fans of. And my boyfriend had to talk with me after. We were like, you know, just kind of doing a debrief afterwards. He was like, you have. I think you have to remember that you need to go up to people next time. Like, you going up to someone will be the same gift as Olivia Rodrigo coming up to you, like. Cause that was like, the biggest gift of my life was someone I admire so much coming up to me to say she was a fan. He was like, but you could go give that to people. And I was like, I don't think of anyone thinking of that. They would want that from me. Did you talk to Taylor? I didn't. That's. That's when, you know, like, Taylor, she's just. Everyone wants a piece, that one. I'm just like, I will never be the one to be like, excuse me, ever. It's almost rude what I do when I'm in the same room as Taylor Swift because I won't even look her way. It might. She's like, tapping you on the shoulder and you're just. It will. It will take that because I just will never. And everyone goes. Go up and say something to her. So it's like, she's got a. There's no way that she's dying for that on a night like this where everyone's doing it. And of course she would be so nice. I. I know exactly how it would go down, but I just. I don't want to take someone's energy away that I require their energy to be put into making great music. That's why I don't want her to make a less great song because she had to be like, nice to meet you. Oh, and like, hold me as I'm crying.

[Dax Shepard]

Give you the full swifty treating tells.

[Monica Padman]

Me I can't bother her both. I generally, after award shows, get pretty depressed no matter what happens, because I'm around all these famous people that I put on a pedestal and I kind of see the facade of it all and, like, the desperation and like, oh, this.

[Dax Shepard]

Everyone's the same.

[Monica Padman]

Everyone has. They're all wearing uncomfortable clothes and have the fake hair in. And I'M like, we're all clamoring to be noticed and a little bit disappointed when we're not. And it just. It makes me a little bit sad because I'm like, no matter how big you get, you kind of worry about who's in the room, who's looking at you, where you're seated. I kind of go through a depression afterwards.

[Dax Shepard]

It's seen the magic trick a bit. You realize, oh, there isn't any pixie dust.

[Monica Padman]

There is pixie dust. Like, there's magical. Where you're like, wow, that person's so talented. They're so amazing. They're like, you know. You know, just even watching Chapel Roan last night, Sabrina Carpenter Ray, who I've never had, Never heard of, but watching her was just transcendent.

[Dax Shepard]

Definitely musicians when they're doing their thing. And if you were watching the people in the room act, perhaps.

[Monica Padman]

Right. Yes.

[Dax Shepard]

But you're just seeing them not lit and not in a riveting drama.

[Monica Padman]

Yes.

[Dax Shepard]

And they're just people.

[Monica Padman]

The reason I brought up the thing is because I wanted to do a full circle, which is.

[Dax Shepard]

Oh, yes.

[Monica Padman]

And this is important to say because I was, like, a little annoyed, and I was upset on your behalf and upset on my behalf because I was like, oh, this is gonna be a problem for me. So Kristin is hosting the SAG Awards. Oh, my God. Really? Yes.

[Dax Shepard]

Yes.

[Monica Padman]

And she hosted them in 2018, and that's when I was her producing partner and creative partner. And so I wrote her monologue, and I did all that stuff for her then, and so she asked me to do that this time. So I went back to look at that original monologue. I kid you not. There is a joke that is about Marc Maron that Monica wrote. That I wrote. That is we didn't have our show yet. That is literally the exact same joke. I loved that show. I loved that show. My jaw dropped. I had no memory of writing that joke. And also, I was like, well, this joke is fine. This joke is fine, so that joke has to be fine too. Oh, that makes me feel so good. Like, it doesn't mean anything.

[Dax Shepard]

It doesn't mean he killed his close up. He was such a good sport. Kristin showed it to me. She's like, I mean, look at this. We did the same thing.

[Monica Padman]

It's so funny. The bulls make circle helmet. I was like, I wrote this exact same joke. It's so nice to hear that, because I think that happens all the time, where people get mad about something and you've just done it before, and no one will ever admit that they've done it before. But even when I get mad, everyone's such a hypocrite. Not that you were, but it's. No, I was, but unintentionally.

[Dax Shepard]

I hope that got to you in our debrief as well, which is as I was listening to the monologue panic that I was going to get made fun of. I was doing a personal inventory, you know, and I was going, you have done this many times. Like, I have done this. I have been on Conan making fun of the cast of the Expendables because I had a movie coming out against them, and they're easy targets, and I can do all their accents. You know, maybe Sly was at home, bombed. It's hard for me to imagine that, but maybe. Because, again, in that situation, I'm insignificant and I'm almost speaking a vacuum. These people won't really hear me.

[Monica Padman]

They. Yeah.

[Dax Shepard]

And then I'm like. And I was on a show called Punk'd, where we put celebrities in very rough situations, and hopefully they acted poorly. I mean, like, I. I had no. I. No point was ever judgmental. And at no point did I act like I was above that. What I more was starting to feel was a kind of compassion for both of us.

[Monica Padman]

That's really nice.

[Dax Shepard]

Which is like, I want to get invited to the party. And the way I got invited to the party was like, yeah, you can come to the party if you shit these people on Punk.

[Monica Padman]

Yes.

[Dax Shepard]

And I was like, okay, I'll do it.

[Monica Padman]

Then you get to the party, and the people you shit on are there.

[Dax Shepard]

For years. I'm bumping into Timberlake, and he hates my guts, and I'm like, my. Don't you understand, buddy? I was, like, dead broke, and that was my only chance.

[Monica Padman]

Oh, my God. He said so he. Remember, he places you. Totally.

[Dax Shepard]

We've had him on and we talked it all through. Like, yeah. I would see him for years. And it's like, yeah, that guy doesn't like me. And for good reason.

[Monica Padman]

You forget, the people have feelings. And generally, the jokes I make are about, you know, at Roast, I feel like everything's on the table because they've signed up for it.

[Dax Shepard]

We should make a distinction because I heard you talking about it this morning.

[Monica Padman]

Yeah.

[Dax Shepard]

And it's great. You're like, Tom Brady's getting $25 million. He has consented.

[Monica Padman]

Yes.

[Dax Shepard]

Everyone that said yes to the Diaz, they. Am I saying it right?

[Monica Padman]

Diaz, the deus. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Everyone who says yes to Cameron makes fun of him for saying it wrong. Later, everyone.

[Dax Shepard]

Is it the Diaz? And you go, yes, that's right, Deus.

[Monica Padman]

I just want to give you what you.

[Dax Shepard]

Right back at you.

[Monica Padman]

I'll ultimately be honest with you. So that's gonna. That's gonna track throughout this episode.

[Dax Shepard]

We have the same approach. Yeah. But there's. There. There is consent.

[Monica Padman]

Yes.

[Dax Shepard]

And I have been invited to so many of those roasts, and I'm like, I just don't have thick enough skin. I'll just tell you. Like, I. I can't handle it. Don't. I'm very sensitive.

[Monica Padman]

Thank God. Like, I don't even think about what's gonna be said about me when I say yes to the roast. Like, I put it out of my head, but even I did the Tom Brady one because it was like, tom Brady, I got to do it. But the next roast that they threw at me, I was going to say no to because I was like, I'm too old now. Like, when I was 35, getting called old, you could cut it didn't hurt. Yeah. Like, I'm. I don't feel it. Not really, but at 40, I kind of feel it, and I'm starting to see it, and I just don't want. I don't want anyone pointing out something about my face or that I have to then go stare at someone about.

[Dax Shepard]

Yeah.

[Monica Padman]

In an office and have them draw on me and stare into my eyes and fix it and fix it. Which I've done and I continue to do, and. But I just don't want. I don't want anyone else notice. Like, I just don't want people to pay too close of attention. But then the Tom Brady roast, you just. And then you go, oh, good. I'm not the most famous person here, so there won't be that many jokes about me. And that's how it ended up. But the next one, I feel like, as your. A little bit more.

[Dax Shepard]

Bigger target.

[Monica Padman]

Yeah. Bigger target next time. So we'll see. It's gonna have to be someone really, really good for me to do it again. It hurts a lot. Like, it does.

[Dax Shepard]

Right.

[Monica Padman]

I'm not.

[Dax Shepard]

I'm one of the only people who didn't watch the Tom Brady roast because I'm. I can't even enjoy watching it. I just think of myself hearing that, and I just. I. Very sensitive. Embarrassingly so.

[Monica Padman]

I am. I don't read any comments about myself. I. I've been sober from comments, which I think should be a thing.

[Dax Shepard]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Monica Padman]

Like, not the general public, because I Don't think the general public has too many, like, trolls in their comments. But if you're a person, a celebrity.

[Dax Shepard]

Or a person, you probably know your troll. If you're a civilian and someone saying you probably work with that you should.

[Monica Padman]

Have blocked your boyfriend's ex girlfriend ages ago. That's just a simple block. But yeah, I just. I don't. I can post things now and not wor. And not, like, go back. How many likes does it have? Cause I just go, it's none of your business anymore. And you don't get to read anything because I can't handle it. It will destroy me.

[Dax Shepard]

From episode 893 with Mo Amer. So Gulf War breaks out in 91. 90. Yeah, 90. It was like August of 90. The reason why I remember exactly. Oh, the invasion is the invasion. The Iraqi invasion was then. And I remember it quite well because I was supposed to have my tonsils removed two days before, you know. Two days before? Yeah, after they came in. Yeah. Oh, wow. So I was like, damn it. So now for the rest of my.

[Monica Padman]

I still have tonsillitis.

[Dax Shepard]

Might have been a happy accident. No, it's not, brother. Miserable. I have enormous tonsils. I bet they're gorgeous. They're massive. They are gorgeous. They are mountainous. You can ski off of those things.

[Monica Padman]

You could probably get them out now.

[Dax Shepard]

I am so scared. They're talking about, like the way I've. Yeah, the dolphin was supposed to do it really. It's a bad. It's a really. It's like 50, 50 bleed or something. Something crazy, like heavy bleeding. Was it someone on here? Six weeks to eight weeks recovery. No talking. They cauterize it, but you can't feel. You can't feel if it's bleeding down into your stomach. You can basically see. Yeah, that's all I needed to hear. To make it even worse.

[Monica Padman]

Why are the kids more. Why are they able to.

[Dax Shepard]

I don't know. They're just not as mature. I think it's not as mature enough. It's very like. It's an in and out procedure for kids. But just tell. An adult was like, really battling whether or not to do it. They don't like to do it on adults because I went to like the top special of the UCLA and they were like, 50, 50. They're gonna bleed, you know, but you'll be fine. It's just gonna take a lot longer to heal. I was like, you know what? I'll just take antibiotics. I'll take my big ass ton. And what if I do a Lot of voices too. Like, what if it affects, y', know, how I do all these accents and stuff? Like, what if I just end up talking like this all this time? Now my life is ruined because I sound terrible. So the invasions In August, the US enters as I remember, because my birthday is January 2nd and I had gotten my license in 91 on the 2nd. And it was the only thing that played in the radio when I first. I feel like it was like maybe January 1st of 91, the US entered. Yep. I had left before that, but go ahead. You left before the US response. Yeah, it was pretty. And it was really, really intense because that was the first time I knew that we were stateless. Number one. Like, I didn't know. I just knew this happy life. I knew that we were, you know, had family all next. I didn't know anything was wrong.

[Monica Padman]

Yeah.

[Dax Shepard]

With like, we couldn't just. You weren't like holding. I was like, why don't we just go to. Why don't we just go back to Palestine, let's go back to West. But like, why can't we, right? And they're like, no, we can't necessarily do that either. It's not the best next step. Let's figure it out. And it was the first time seeing, you know, your parents are this. You see them and like they're your pillars, like they're, they're always in control. There's nothing ever wrong. Seemingly know everything. Seemingly know everything. And to see them so worried.

[Monica Padman]

Yeah.

[Dax Shepard]

And I remember this to this day, that call at 6am I remember the phone ringing, you know, at those days, the phone wake up the entire house. You know, I was like, who the hell's calling? I remember getting up and my mom picking up the phone was like, saddam has invaded Kuwait. Hangs up and now everyone is out to try to get as many resources for the house. Food, rice, water, you know, think, whatever you can get. Yeah. To just store it. And yeah, that's when everything changed. And they got to our house at one o' clock in the morning and I was past. I was asleep. I slept through the whole breaking of the door, ransacking the home. They were threatening my mom, my dad, who's in this bedroom. Who's in his bedroom. They were pointing in my bedroom and they were threatening. They were gonna throw a grenade in the bedroom. Oh my God, like, tell us, tell us, tell us. And you know, my mom and my, like they were trying to figure out who works at the Equator Oil Company since the whole reason of their invasion to Begin with is the supposed siphoning of, you know, Iraqi oil and whatnot. Whatever. Was that their premise? They were diagonally drilling in. Is that what they were saying? I don't know. What exactly is it feels like, you know. Yeah. It's a bigger conversation to me now I have. As a grown ass man, I see what's everything going on. Living in America now I know like, who's been putting all these people in power and doing it.

[Monica Padman]

Whatever.

[Dax Shepard]

Let's talk about that thing. But. But that was the premise, is that, you know, Kuwait was stealing from them and he's there to take it back. That's the idea. Okay. But then since it's the Kuwait oil company, so our neighborhood was hot. First stop. Yeah, first stop. Absolutely. And it was all about collecting people who are, you know, who could help manage and turn over the exact control of it. Exactly. Your dad's like, I just do telephones. Well, that's the biggest fucking thing, right? Communication. Okay. That was like one of their. Probably on their top five list. Oh, wow. You know, of, you know, transferring all communication to where. Right, Transfer it to, you know. Yeah. So my dad had one choice. Either do it or we, you know, potentially your family is at risk, you know, might take them all out. Who knows? You're not gonna find out if they're bluffing. Bluffing or not.

[Monica Padman]

Yeah, exactly.

[Dax Shepard]

You're just gonna say, yeah, ask me. What are you gonna do? Like, what is he gonna do? So he was forced to go in and redirect. Oh, wow. Some of it, from what I've heard, some of it at that time. And he regrets it. He doesn't. Didn't feel good about any of it, you know.

[Monica Padman]

Well, he had to protect himself.

[Dax Shepard]

He loved Kuwait and he loved the people of Kuwait. He loved everything there. And he was just saddened to see it all happen that way. But it was also just protecting our family. So, like, soldiers would show up early in the morning at our house and just constantly, all throughout the whole street. It was pretty regular. But I felt like our house was like a spot, you know? Yeah. Became that and play soccer with these guys. Like, they were just, you know, have me, like, hold the machine gun. I was like, I don't hold the machine gun. Yeah, yeah. You know, it was that weird, like, different life. Just my. Everything changed. Right. And trying to evaluate are these guys mean and evil or they weren't right or. But when you're. When they first show up with the guns, they had moments. They had moments, though. I remember this guy, he had A thick stash. Huge. But I was really fast as a kid and I played tons of soccer, so I was killing these older guys. I was killing him. And he just. Boom. He just socks me real hard. And I remember being laid out on the ground. I look up and I see him and this is how he felt. Like he was laughing. He goes. And I was like. Like a bomb. Evil bro. It felt evil. I know he's not, but he was just like with me. But it just. It really. It just. It just. I can't forget his face. I can. I can. If a sketch artist was sitting here, I could draw him. It's that kind of. You never Forget from episode 911 with Brad Pitt. You know, I've never had a gay experience. I kind of missed that window. But if I did. Yeah. It wouldn't be you. Oh, man. You had me. I was gonna say I was like.

[Monica Padman]

Dax is going died in that 14th or 15th.

[Dax Shepard]

I don't want to brag, but you're gonna need to build up to me. Oh, boy. I do recommend you start with some. Some starters. Now, is this true that you left college a week before graduation? No, I actually went through graduation. I just didn't finish my last week of classes and actually graduate. But my parents were already coming.

[Monica Padman]

Oh, you went to the ceremony but you didn't graduate?

[Dax Shepard]

Fucking walk the line hat and all. Cap. You wanted to be able to throw your hat. Well, sure.

[Monica Padman]

It's very nice.

[Dax Shepard]

I miss that. That's a crazy fucking decision. No, because I decided come to la.

[Monica Padman]

You only have one week left.

[Dax Shepard]

I had one week left. But what's the Spike Jonze movie adaptation? Remember when Chris Cooper goes. He talks about. He's into. What is the flowers. Yeah. The load. Yeah. Yes. Lotuses. No, it wasn't a lotus. Orchids. Orchids. Yeah. Yeah. And he talked about his former. Jones was about. Was about fish or some kind of fish breeding. She said she. I think it was Meryl. Ask him what happens and he says, done with fish? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I kind of felt like that for me, it just like, done. I don't want to do this. I talked to a friend they had. It never occurred to me I could like. I was kind of lamented that movies weren't an option. I'd always loved movies. I met this friend whose dad had a condo in Burbank and said I could stay there for one month. Oh, and I went green light. I'm going to it. I'm going to it. And he moved to Beverly. What car did you Drive out for that Datsun 200sx. Oh, wow. With the bumper hanging off. Okay. It wasn't in great shape.

[Monica Padman]

Still have it?

[Dax Shepard]

No.

[Monica Padman]

Oh, sometimes it's fun to have those old original.

[Dax Shepard]

Do you fantasize about getting any of the stupid cars you have? Because I had a 91 Honda Civic DX for a decade here and I want to get one and make it fast. I was just looking. My dad had a 74 Monte Carlo and I was just looking that up. You gotta get it. It's just looking it up.

[Monica Padman]

You gotta get it.

[Dax Shepard]

Just for fun. Just a little tribute.

[Monica Padman]

How often are you scrolling those cars? Be honest.

[Dax Shepard]

Yeah, just bring a trailer. As often as I'm scrolling Zillow.

[Monica Padman]

Yeah, I know. Zillow will, really.

[Dax Shepard]

I love house porn. House porn, car porn, bike porn. Well, you've been in this situation for a long time. But it's for so long. It was just. I dreamt about it and then I could do it. And then I did it. I bought too much stuff. I saw the toys out there. It's fun. And this is me. This is me now. Like, constrained. So, So I have these, like, rules I have to have in place. Like, I have to look at the car like 10 times and I gotta want it still in four months, you know? Like, I, Ah. So you make sure that you put the time in to make it worth its while. That's right. I, I, I. Cause I'm dangerous. I get on, bring a trailer, and I'm like, oh my God, I need that thing so bad. Okay, so you drove out in a Datsun. I did hear a funny story about you wanting to get your SAG card and interjecting all. I got shut down so hard. Will you tell. Oh, did I get shut down. I was doing extra work for a about a year and a half before I even got into. You got to do something real. I was doing. I was an extra.

[Monica Padman]

Yeah.

[Dax Shepard]

And I was thrilled. I loved it. I couldn't believe I could be on set.

[Monica Padman]

Yeah.

[Dax Shepard]

And I started that. And I mean, when I landed in Burbank, I got the paper, I went to McDonald's, I had 275 left in my name. There were three extra agencies. You could pay them 25 bucks. And you were in. I found in the paper and I got in the next day. I'm going, I'm rolling. I'm doing an industrial. Industrial, like, video by the end of the week. Yeah. And. And I get this, I get this gig I'm about. You're already inflating what happened? I'm an extra in this movie. I land this role, I land this job. Is extra. The funny that when I started, I put them on like a resume. Like they were real. Yeah, it still haunts me. Oh, sure. Still, like on my. Anyways, I'm making Jackass and it's a restaurant scene and it's the main characters, Charlie Sheen and D.B. sweeney and then. And a bunch of other actors that I wasn't necessarily aware of. And I am the waiter. I was supposed to bring up champagne and pour champagne. They show me how to do it. You gotta pour, you spin, you wipe the thing. I said, great.

[Monica Padman]

More than an extra, I come in.

[Dax Shepard]

Well, it was a chosen extra. I got chosen. I was chosen. I got put forward.

[Monica Padman]

Oh my God.

[Dax Shepard]

And the whole game was, how do you get your SAG card? Because you can't get a job. You don't have your SAG card, but you can't get your SAG card unless you've had a job. So it was just catch 22. Specifically, you need to speak. Yeah, you gotta speak. That was the. That was the barrier to entry. Yes. And like a jackass, they're having the scene. They're doing the scene. I get to the last. The last actor and she seemed lower on the totem pole, like maybe. And literally the scene is going on. Oh, I pour her champagne and I go, would you like anything else? I want the dailies from me. Listen to this. Listen to this. It was first ad runs over. You do that again, you're out of here.

[Monica Padman]

Oh my God.

[Dax Shepard]

It was just shame for the rest of the night.

[Monica Padman]

That's so took a shot.

[Dax Shepard]

Stay tuned for more Armchair Expert if you dare. We are supported by JCPenney.

[Monica Padman]

Okay, so I just ordered these king size pillows from JCPenney which were so hard to find. I was looking at a lot of places and JCPenney had them. And when they arrived, I was like, wait, these feel really lux and expensive. Way more than what I paid.

[Dax Shepard]

Well, that's the thing about J.C. penney right now. They're a one stop shop for incredible gifts. You can grab something last minute, like even on December 22nd and it's still looks like you've been planning for months. You know, I just bought a bunch of stockings for Nashville from JCPenney. And an adorable Christmasy placemat with a fire engine on it and some nutcrackery. Guys, creatures. There's like all kinds of fun Christmas stuff.

[Monica Padman]

Oh, I love that.

[Dax Shepard]

Whether it's beauty sets, home decor, jewelry, or fashion for the Whole family. Everything has that elevated I definitely splurged vibe.

[Monica Padman]

Even when you didn't, it's what they thought that counts.

[Dax Shepard]

And honestly, nobody needs to know you grabbed it at the 11th hour shop. JCP.com yes, JCPenney. We are supported by quints. Winter in LA is weird. It'll be 75 degrees one day, then suddenly you need an actual coat. I've been rotating through the same three jackets for years, and honestly, they're looking rough. So I finally upgraded my winter wardrobe with quince. And the difference is wild. Their Mongolian cashmere sweaters are ridiculously soft. Like, I didn't know Cashme Mirror could feel this good without costing a mortgage payment. And their wool coats and Italian leather outerwear, they're the kind of pieces that actually last.

[Monica Padman]

They also have amazing homeware. Do not sleep on the homeware. And if someone's moving and you want to get them, like a little housewarming gift, it's the perfect place. I got a friend some curtains.

[Dax Shepard]

Oh, you did?

[Monica Padman]

Yeah.

[Dax Shepard]

Quince curtains, QCs.

[Monica Padman]

Quince curtains do it.

[Dax Shepard]

What I love about quints is they cut out the middleman. Bye. Bye. They work directly with factories and have ethical production standards. So you're getting luxury quality without the luxury markup. We're talking premium materials, thoughtful design stuff that'll last you multiple winners, not just one. Refresh your winter wardrobe with quince. Go to quince.comdax for free shipping on your order and 365 day returns. Now available in Canada too. That's Q-U-I-N-C-E.comdax free shipping and 365 day returns. Quince.comdax we are supported by Audible. You know, I spend a lot of time listening. It's literally my job. But when I'm not recording the show, I'm constantly consuming audio content. And honestly, I can get pretty overwhelmed by all the choices out there. That's why I love when Audible drops their Best of the Year collection. Audible's most anticipated collection, the best of 2025, is here. And let me tell you, these editors know what they're doing. They've spent countless hours listening, having heated debates. Probably way more heated than Monica and I get yet. Although that's hard to imagine. And they have handpicked this year's must listens. What I really appreciate is that they don't just go for the obvious picks. They found hidden gems alongside the buzziest new releases. Whether you're into true crime like Monica, historical biographies like me, or something completely different. This Collection has your back. I've already started diving into their selection and honestly, it's like having a really smart friend curate your entire listening experience. Want to finish the year with a sure thing? Check out Audible's Best of 2025 and discover why there's Imagine when you listen. Listen now. Go to audible.com best of the year we are supported by ZipRecruiter. Oh, get recruited so I was cleaning out my garage recently. You know that annual ritual where you pretend you're going to organize everything but really just move piles around. And I found this old laptop from like 2015. Tried to fire it up and it was painfully slow. Made me realize how much technology has actually improved in just a few years. So if you haven't tried ZipRecruiter lately, you're going to want to check it out. And if you're new to ZipRecruiter, you can try it for [e-mail] Dax their matching technology has gotten crazy good. It actually shows you how many qualified candidates are in your area for whatever role you're trying to fill. Plus, they've upgraded their resume database so that you can instantly access candidates contact info. No more waiting around hoping someone will respond to your job posting. See how Zipperc ZipRecruiter's new hiring innovations are changing the game. 4 out of 5 employers who post on ZipRecruiter get a quality candidate within the first day. And right now you can try it for [e-mail] Dax Again, that's ziprecruiter.com Dax ZipRecruiter the smartest way to hire. From episode 949 with Dominic Fike. Okay, but you didn't get to cocaine or breaking house arrest. Oh yeah. So you're in there focusing. It's doing wonders for your. Yeah, songwriting. But. But I'm in a room all day and I'm trapped all day. And even now that that's my job, it's like I still know that I have to step away sometimes. Even if I want to. I know that it's healthy to step away. Yeah. Isolation is. It's a. Yeah.

[Monica Padman]

Yeah.

[Dax Shepard]

Yeah. So I start using everything I can that has a short span in your stream. Coke is like three days. Yeah. Is that what it is? I don't know. I was. When I was looking it up. Okay. Work out. Did I do this? I wasn't taking a lot of piss tests when I was smoking crack. This may surprise you. I didn't hold any employment then. You know, it's funny, me neither. But I think it's like something in middle school that you do with friends when it comes to weed is like. You guys discuss like the shelf life of drugs in your. I do know weed lasts for like a month. I know that one. Yeah, everyone knows that. Every guy knows that. Yeah. And meth lasts a while in your system too. But I don't know the coke thing. Coke's one of the quicker ones. So I'm doing coke. Yeah, right. Yeah, I guess you are on house arrest.

[Monica Padman]

That's true.

[Dax Shepard]

Yeah, I'm bored. Yeah, I'm bored. And like the girls are always at work and I. And their mom lived there too, but she's always at work. She's trying to get me to go to school. She's like, dom, you need to do something with your life. I'm telling her I'm making a mixtape. Kid with a face tat, smoking dope, doing coke in her department, talking about a mixtape tape. You know, I'm not necessarily investing on that startup. No one gave a damn. And then I get called in for, I think. And it's right as I finish the last song on the mixtape. I'm up doing coke that night and the dude calls me at 7:00am he's like, Dominic, another drug test. And I'm thinking like, oh, well, I just did it. So it's probably not even in there yet. Oh, oh.

[Monica Padman]

Like I just did it. Five minutes.

[Dax Shepard]

Like, what's up, Pete? Yeah, give me the cup. Yeah, yeah, he gives me the cup and I just failed. And he. He put cuffs on me right there. I'd never been so in disbelief. I was like, we thought you had it all helpful.

[Monica Padman]

Do that, won't it?

[Dax Shepard]

That's the great thing about coke. It makes you optimistic. That's why it's a relief. And then I went to jail for. For a while and. And during that time in jail, I released the mixtape. Yeah. So how was the time in jail? Huh? You were in county. It's awesome. It was great. I had a good time in jail. Again, this is a stereotype, but I'm worried how cute you are. I'm a little worried about how cute you are.

[Monica Padman]

That's scary.

[Dax Shepard]

I know. I hate to perpetuate his. Okay, so it's not really nervous. Okay, tell us thing called like PETA, PETA Retta, something like that. It's some four letter acronym. Yeah. That is against prison rape. Okay, so we got some action in there.

[Monica Padman]

We got some protest.

[Dax Shepard]

Huge. Okay. Like it's like Dare. But if it's like, they kept doing dare. And it was a huge. And it worked. Yeah. Because I was in. Yeah. I had full long hair. This is before I. You know, I was like, 20. 20, 20 are in there.

[Monica Padman]

Yeah.

[Dax Shepard]

There we go. Yeah. You're a piece. I was call it what it is. I was. So.

[Monica Padman]

Yeah.

[Dax Shepard]

And I was in a violent block because of my charge, so my. My bunky was just a. Murdered his family. Okay. Hilarious, though. The funniest guy. Like, the funniest guy. Well, if you can't laugh about murdering, you know, you can't laugh with him because you killed them all.

[Monica Padman]

Oh, my God. Wait, how old are you at this point, then?

[Dax Shepard]

I'm like 20. You're 21.

[Monica Padman]

Okay. And how long were you in jail?

[Dax Shepard]

Like a year.

[Monica Padman]

Okay.

[Dax Shepard]

Yeah. So, you know. Wait.

[Monica Padman]

Murder.

[Dax Shepard]

I did have one question. We blew past. Did you watch Florida Project? Nah, I never watched Florida Project. I was never into people, like, making their projects about their, like, movies about my town because they always did it wrong. And I just didn't want to be let down. Pissed off with Florida. I don't think you will be with that. Really. I hadn't seen it when everyone else saw it, but then I loved Ignore Nora.

[Monica Padman]

Yeah.

[Dax Shepard]

And then so I went back and watched Florida Project. Florida Project's better than an aura, and I love an aura. Florida Project is like, that's a crazy day. It's awesome. Sean Baker's amazing. Did he do. Oh, he did Florida Project. Yeah. Florida Project. Okay. We love Sean Baker. Yes. And it has this impossible thing that, like, kids have. Once every 30 years, someone captures little kids being little kids in it. Like, you're like, how did they get this to happen? Yeah. It's like. It's mad. The first time you saw Dakota Fanning. What the going on?

[Monica Padman]

Yeah. I am saying Drew Barrymore et. Drew Barrymore et.

[Dax Shepard]

Yeah. So you piss hot. You go to county, you release the music now. This is so improbable. By the time you get out. Yeah. By the time he gets out, there is a bidding war to sign you, and you signed at Columbia for $4 million. What? I heard a lot of one. This is up there with Kehee Kwan.

[Monica Padman]

Yeah.

[Dax Shepard]

Keanu.

[Monica Padman]

Yes.

[Dax Shepard]

He's on a refugee ship. Oh, wow. Within a year, he's flying first class to the Steven Spielberg to be an Indiana Jones.

[Monica Padman]

Wow.

[Dax Shepard]

So, yeah. This getting out of prison to a $4 million contract. How do you compute that? Yeah. So I. I don't know. It was if it was kind of like the first of its kind in that span of time to happen to this bidding war thing, I'd never been a part of anything. Because it was big on SoundCloud, right? You had put it all on SoundCloud. Yeah, I put it on SoundCloud. And then my manager, Reed, who's still my manager to this day, takes it off real quick. Cause he sees it starting to garner attention. And we had a couple suits reach out. We'd never been in contact with anybody like that. I've been releasing music for five years at this point, all over. Any way I can get it, I'm releasing it. So then people start reaching out, and these dudes start flying from California to visit me in the jail. No, I'm not even kidding to you. I'm at the phone, like this type of shit with this dude that's like, hey, Dominic, you ready to be a millionaire? And you're like, I'm homeless. Doing this for a penny under 4 million. You didn't take 3 million. Well, shove it in your. What had happened. What had happened was my mom is in jail, and my dad's in jail at this point for 20 years. Both they're facing 20 years. Because my family, this whole time, my family, they're huge heroin dealers, huge heroin traffickers. My dad, Sean, my stepdad, Sean's a heroin trafficker. Like, we're all chilling at one point. And we'd been doing this for years, living in hotels, selling coke or whatever. It worked out. It put me through school, you know, at the time. And then the doors. All the doors get kicked down at our hotels and at our other houses, and everyone's taken to jail. Marshalls, you know, it's in the news. I'm seeing them both. I'm like, oh, man, they're like 20 years each. So I'm in jail, too. And my sister's up for adoption because of this. And my brother's in jail, and I need to get my sister out of adoption. I need to get my mom out of jail, and I need to get my stepdad out of jail. So, you know, each lawyer for them is 200 grand. 200 grand a piece. And then to get my sister out, I'm still paying for that to this day.

[Monica Padman]

Wow.

[Dax Shepard]

So I'm like. Like thinking about my position, and. And I'm homeless at the time, you know, And I need you in jail yourself. You're. Damn. This is my work that y' all are buying. So all this is in my head, you know, at the time. And. And it wasn't That I came up with, like, 4 million. It was just more like these dudes I could. I had never seen money over a thousand dollars. So are like 200,000. I'm like, that sounds like a not real number, I guess. Cool. I. I'm not pushing it up. Another dude flies from another label, comes to the jail, says a bigger number. And then. I didn't even know this was a thing. I tell that dude that the guy said a bigger number. Yeah, this goes with a bigger number. Yeah. I'm like, wow, this. I feel like I'm a. Like a, you know, athlete.

[Monica Padman]

Yeah, you're in Jerry Maguire.

[Dax Shepard]

Jerry Maguire, Yeah. Dude, that means. So funny. We get to the point where we're in LA and on top of the Columbia Building or the Sony building, because at this point, Rob Stringer's involved. Like, the dude who owns Sony, he's like, all right, who's this motherfucker? Like, everyone. Everyone's throwing this money around. Who's this guy? He comes to meet me. We're in a meeting, and at this point, I got my. Like, I got the. I know how to do this money thing. So I'm in the room and I'm like, playing them songs, and they're like, oh, these are so good. And then I'm like, yeah, well, you never know. And I'm about to walk out, and Rob Stringer's like, so what? Are we doing this or not? Because he's a businessman. He's like a real. I respect him so much. Yeah. He's like, are we doing this or not? I'm like, well, I don't know. And Ron's like, maybe we could. And he's like, no, no more millions. Are we doing this? Right? But now I'm like, yeah, I'll do it right now. And we just sign it and. And. And we pop a bottle of champagne on this rooftop. It's me, Rob, and a couple of my friends. And then I go into the bathroom and I'm like, yeah, I got a piss because of all the champagne. And I'm looking at my phone, the bank account, and I see the number jump.

[Monica Padman]

No way.

[Dax Shepard]

At the urinal. And then from then on, I just don't remember. It's been like seven years of from episode 879 with Dove. Cameron, Were you having any guilt about being in Burbank?

[Monica Padman]

Yeah, I. I mean, I. It was a weird thing because, to be completely honest, I tried to mend my relationship with my dad a lot. And I think there's this thing that happens with depression. A lot of people who are depressed where they are perpetually pushing people away.

[Dax Shepard]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Monica Padman]

And for the entirety of like 13 and 14 and 15, I was really trying to connect with my dad. I think, you know, he was always a depressive person. Like my mom and him met and he was like, I'm super suicidal. And she was like, okay, I'm 20, we're gonna try to get you out of this, you know, like. Yeah, so. So it was always sort of there. But I really, at 13 and 14 and 15, I was really just like, I miss my dad. I know something's weird. He doesn't answer when I call.

[Dax Shepard]

Well, the most heartbreaking part from it would seem to me is that you at least had the fantasy at all times. This will get repaired one day. Yeah, I keep trying but one day he's going to be feeling better and I can get it repaired.

[Monica Padman]

Yeah, sorry.

[Dax Shepard]

No. And then they go like, oh God, yeah, I'm not going to be able to repair. That is fucking. Yeah, really sad.

[Monica Padman]

Yeah, yeah, it's true. It's, it's, it's also like I think about this a lot because I was so young and I like I have a memory of him like coming to stay with us once in Burbank and I just remember like thinking all the color had left his face and I didn't know like he was drinking so heavily and all of that that. And I remember being like young enough. Like 14. He was staying on like a little blow up mattress or something in our living room and I just came out to like. Like he wasn't looking at me in the eye. Like it was all this stuff that I like didn't really. I thought he was mad at me. Right?

[Dax Shepard]

Yeah, yeah.

[Monica Padman]

And I like came to like say goodnight or like lay down next to him or something and. Cause I was still like a very young 14. Like I wasn't like a like mentally I was mature but I was still like, I wasn't dating. I was, I was very like my parents kid and I was very insulated and like, I don't know, maybe like very protected. And I remember like laying down next to him just for a second to be like cuddle time, like routine. And he like didn't really move and I remember him being like, I think you should, you should go to bed. And I was like. And I remember receiving that as just like such a rejection that like he didn't want to. And I didn't know what it was. Like I truly thought he was angry with me for something. And, you know, when you're a kid, like, you blame yourself, of course. You really blame yourself. And so I was like, maybe I'm behaving badly or something. I didn't really get it.

[Dax Shepard]

Or I would just feel guilty that I'm pursuing my own life. Yeah. Like, is he mad that I'm pursuing my own life? And I'm.

[Monica Padman]

I mean, he was always, like, kind of vaguely supportive, I guess. Like, he was worried about me more than anything. Like, he was worried that I wasn't gonna be able to survive in Hollywood. And I knew that, but he was never like. The thing was, I had gone back to see him after I had lived in LA for a year, and I stayed at our home for the summer at our family home, and I went. Cause I wanted to spend the summer with my dad, and I wanted to see him, and we hadn't seen each other for so long, and I remember him doing everything he could to get me to not stay with him. Like, he would send me to stay with my friends. And I actually probably didn't want you.

[Dax Shepard]

To see him like that while he was existing. Yeah. Yeah.

[Monica Padman]

And I remember, like, he was like, a famously, like, tight, walleted man. Like, he was always like, you get $100 for clothes every year before school, and if you grow out of them, that's your problem. Yeah. You go secondhand shopping six outfits out.

[Dax Shepard]

Of this good look.

[Monica Padman]

He's like, if you grow, that's your fucking problem. And then the rest, like, you have a sewing machine figured out. And I was like, all right. But he. The. The year. The. The summer that I stayed with him, I remember he was, like, just giving me money, like, just cash money to get out of the house. And I was like. Like, that's so bizarre. And I didn't really realize that he had already sort of put a plan in place where it was like, he.

[Dax Shepard]

Didn'T need it anymore.

[Monica Padman]

No, he got rid of all of the animals. He was getting rid of all of his money.

[Dax Shepard]

God, isn't it weird to think of someone planning for that long something like that? It kind of goes against my stereotype of it, like, overwhelming you in a moment as opposed to.

[Monica Padman]

Right. Well, it might not have been as consciously planned as just like, I. I don't want anything. Like, you're.

[Dax Shepard]

You've lost even the desire.

[Monica Padman]

Yes. You've lost the desire to even care for anything or have anything. I. I still go back and forth on that because I found out later that he was paying, like, my friend's mom to, like, get me groceries and all, like, basically was just, like, pawning me off on another family. And I was so. I honestly just thought he was mad at me. Like, I internalized it, like, for two years that he was just mad at me. And I was constantly trying to fix our relationship and reach out and wasn't having it. And so I. I don't. I don't think at the time I felt guilty for being in LA so much as, like, even when I was on the island, still, he was not really wanting to see me. And so I was kind of like, I'm always here, I'm always wanting to see.

[Dax Shepard]

Yeah. Your side of the street was clean.

[Monica Padman]

And I found out also that, like, he had attempted something really publicly, and my mom kept that from me. And that was like, a big sort of turning point in, like, my mental health was just being like, what do I not know is going on? You know?

[Dax Shepard]

Right, right.

[Monica Padman]

And my mom was probably right to keep that from me. But of course, when I was, like, 14 or something, I was like, what the fuck? So I really didn't know what to think of it. Like, he. The last thing he texted me was like, I love you, Chlo. And then it was like. We got a call the next day and it was like, yeah, it's really crazy. I. I honestly don't, like, talk about it too much. Yeah. Understandable. Not because it's hard, honestly, because I. I do talk about it.

[Dax Shepard]

Yeah.

[Monica Padman]

But I talk about it with this kind of like, here are the facts. Yeah. You can dismiss me.

[Dax Shepard]

Right. Yeah. So I went into therapy for the very first time, like, two, three years ago or two or whatever it was.

[Monica Padman]

Oh, really?

[Dax Shepard]

Wow. Yeah. Yeah. Weirdly, since I was in recovery for so long, and I was like, well, I'm getting everything I need from there, but whatever I did. And. Yeah, I can tell you my story. I can tell anyone my story. Yeah. And it is. It's a timeline.

[Monica Padman]

Yeah.

[Dax Shepard]

It's like, then this happened, then this happened. And then in that therapy session, as I was talking to him for the very first time, the emotions were attached to the timeline.

[Monica Padman]

Yeah.

[Dax Shepard]

And they just are not generally for me. Yeah. So I can relate to, like, these moments where, like, oh, wow, okay. The emotions are here now with the story. Yeah. Yeah.

[Monica Padman]

I think also, like. I think also some. It's really hard to. A lot of the time, like, trauma is very sensationalized. I'm sure. You know, I've become very protective of that over the years because I used to be much more open about speaking about it. I had a friend who died very publicly in the last few years. And that was when I sort of tried to reorient a little bit my autonomy over, like, where. What spaces I share that much.

[Dax Shepard]

Well, my therapist said to me, he's like, you know, some stuff you. You can keep for yourself. Not because you're hiding it out of shame, but just, it's yours to keep and you should keep it for yourself. Also having it for you in a weird way, which is a new concept.

[Monica Padman]

Yeah. It's sort of the opposite of what we were talking about earlier, which I was actually gonna say that, like, it. I think it's actually okay. Not out of shame, but when we were saying, like, sharing is important, and of course it is, but it's okay to have things that are just yours. Yeah.

[Dax Shepard]

Yeah.

[Monica Padman]

And it doesn't mean, like, it's your secret. It's just like, it's yours and you can.

[Dax Shepard]

Well, that's your life is just like sliding that line back and forth and it's like, yeah, I felt comfortable with it here, and now I feel more comfortable with it here. And it'll probably change again, and it's fine. There's not a right or wrong. It's just like, yeah. Am I betraying myself? Do I regret it later?

[Monica Padman]

Right. Right.

[Dax Shepard]

You did make me cry today though, because I was seeing the tattoo that you got, and I have little girls, and I say that. That same thing to them all the time. Oh, my God.

[Monica Padman]

You're gonna be fine. That's so.

[Dax Shepard]

Oh. And I was like, oh, my God, I can't. Yeah. If they had to tattoo that on them at some point, cuz something went sideways, you know, it's just heartbreaking.

[Monica Padman]

What is it? What is the tattoo, if you don't mind sharing it says we'll be friends forever, which is just, like, the sweetest.

[Dax Shepard]

Oh, my God. I stage him, like, almost every time. The way I just go, I'm like, you know, we're gonna be best friends for your rest of your life. Yeah. Rest of my life.

[Monica Padman]

Yeah.

[Dax Shepard]

Yeah. Unless I get a procedure, hopefully.

[Monica Padman]

Yeah.

[Dax Shepard]

You want to work on that? Yeah. I'm like, we're best friends from this day to the end.

[Monica Padman]

Well, and that's what it should be.

[Dax Shepard]

Right?

[Monica Padman]

Like, I was. I. I'm so, like, moved to hear you say that about your girls because.

[Dax Shepard]

Oh, yeah.

[Monica Padman]

Because I. I truly was best friends with my dad. Like, like, and he. He really, like, he tried his best.

[Dax Shepard]

You know, there's probably equally sweet relationships, but I find it Hard to believe there are. Stay tuned for more Armchair Expert if you dare. This show is sponsored by Better Help. The holidays are all about traditions, right? Some we inherit, others we create ourselves. And honestly, I've been thinking about what new traditions might actually serve us. Here's one I didn't see coming. Therapy as a holiday tradition. I know, know, I know. But hear me out. December can be intense. Family dynamics, year end pressure. All the reflection on what went right or wrong. What if instead of just surviving the season, we used it to actually understand ourselves better? We have talked numerous times about how the holiday season can be a activating event. Yeah, you're with your family.

[Monica Padman]

Exactly. Family dynamics. Also pressure. Moms have pressure. Dads have pressure. For these children present, I have pressure for my gift guide.

[Dax Shepard]

Better Help makes it simple to start. They've got over 30,000 licensed therapists who follow a strict code of conduct. And their matching system actually works. We're talking 4.9 out of 5 stars from over 1.7 million reviews. They've helped more than 5 million people globally figure things out. This December, start a new tradition by taking care of you. Armchairies get 10% [e-mail] Dax that's betterhelp.com Dax this podcast is brought to you by Squarespace, the all in one website platform designed to help you stand out and succeed online. When we were building the Armchair Expert website, Rob actually used Squarespace to get it up and running, which was a smart choice because they've got everything you need in one place to create something that actually looks professional. What really stands out is their blueprint AI feature. It's like having a design assistant that helps you build a site that doesn't look like every other cookie cutter template out there. Answer a few questions about what you're trying to do and it creates something that actually fits your vision. If you're someone who offers services, whether that's coaching, consulting, creative work, whatever, Squarespace handles all the business stuff too. Payment processing, scheduling, client management. No more juggling five different platforms just to get paid for what you do. The whole thing is designed so you can focus on your actual work instead of wrestling with website tech, which, let's be honest, most of us would rather avoid. So head to squarespace.comdax for a free trial. And when you're ready to launch, use code Dax to SA off your first purchase of a website or domain. We are supported by Skims. You know what, Monica, I have to talk to you about these skims pajamas they sent us.

[Monica Padman]

Yes, I was Literally just thinking about how much I love mine. I think I've worn them every night since we got them.

[Dax Shepard]

Oh yeah. I barely was able to get out of mine to come in today. So I've always been that guy who just sleeps in whatever random T shirt, you know, old shorts. These skims jammies, first of all, they're in the pattern I love. They're in the checkered red and black.

[Monica Padman]

Yes.

[Dax Shepard]

And then the fabric is just snuggling me all night long.

[Monica Padman]

It's such a good product. And also for the women's ones, the one I have is so cute. I like after my shower, my routine to get into a cute pair of pajamas. And I feel like my my sleep is improved when I'm wearing cute pajamas. You eventize it. That's right.

[Dax Shepard]

And honestly, I feel more put together wearing matching pajamas instead of my usual mismatch situation.

[Monica Padman]

The timing couldn't be better either because it's holiday season and honestly, these would make incredible gift. They have options for women, men, kids, and even pets. That's so cute. Who doesn't want to feel this comfortable.

[Dax Shepard]

Sleeping Shop the best [e-mail] after you place your order, be sure to let them know we sent you select podcast in the survey and be sure to select our show in the dropdown menu that follows. And if you're looking for the perfect gifts for everyone on your list, the Skims Holiday Shop is now [e-mail] this message is brought to you by Apple Card. Apple Card members can earn unlimited daily cash back on everyday purchases wherever they shop. This means you could be earning daily cash on just about anything, like a slice of pizza from your local pizza place or a latte from the corner coffee shop. Apply for Apple Card in the Wallet app to see your credit limit offer in minutes. Subject to credit approval. Apple Card issued by Goldman Sachs Bank USA Salt Lake City Branch terms and more at applecard.com. From episode 923 with Alexander Skarsgrd. I was out here forever before I started working. Okay, like a painful first audition. I, I went to Zoolander. Yeah, that's fine. Because then nothing happened for a long time. American film wise. We don't need to talk about that. Let's just talk. Focus on the fact that I booked my first audition. It's very Ashton Kutcher of you. So it's one for one. You should have go back to three. Well, I did. Oh, you did? I was working as a hot barista in Stockholm and then I, I dad was shooting a movie out here in la. And we all came out just to visit. And my. My dad's manager, she's like, I'll send you out to an audition if you want. And it was for Zoolander. Yeah. And I booked that baby. Wow. Yeah. I remember thinking, because, again, I didn't have representation out here. I'd never been on audition. Yeah. I'd never auditioned in Sweden for anything. I was just like, oh, I guess this is how Hollywood works. You walk into a room and Ben Stiller is sitting there, and then you're like, all right, let's go to New York. And then, you know, listen to a little Wham and drive down and have a gasoline fight. Wow. So then I went back to Stockholm, and my dad's manager was like, all right. That went all right. If you wanted, we could build on that. Yeah. If you should come back when, you know, you're done with your. Whatever you're doing out there, and we'll. We'll send you out some. Serve all those coffees. Yeah. Then I came out In, I think, 2003, maybe. Okay. Incredibly naive thinking, like, all right, Hollywood. I finally decided. You're welcome, Hollywood. I'm here. Take it. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You'll find me at Starbucks on Sunset Boulevard. Come get me, Spielberg. And he. He didn't. And no one else did either. Yeah. Because Zoolander is 2001. Yeah. And Generation kills 2008. We shot it in 2007. Okay. Yeah. It came out in 2008. So were you here the majority of those six years? Yes, sir. Yes. Okay. This is what I want to live in, because, again, I did that.

[Monica Padman]

It's the most relatable part of your story.

[Dax Shepard]

Yeah, I like to be relatable. Yeah. We all do. But I. I didn't have. On top of that. Well, my dad's great at it, and he's really successful, and I should be able to do this. Was that a compounding or was it fine or was it grueling? The dad relationship wasn't really grueling or. That wasn't something that I felt that I. I didn't feel, like, an external pressure to, like, live up to or. Or. Or. Or reach his level of success or, you know, it was. Was. It was hard because I couldn't get a job. That was hard. You know, and the fact that I came out of being very naive, thinking, like, oh, it's super easy. Yeah. And Zoolander was a great experience. It was, like, also, like, a super fun movie. Yeah. And then I found myself, like, auditioning for things That I didn't really like. But I was also in a position where I had. I was at another agency that. And I was constantly worried that they would drop me because I wasn't booking anything. You're, like, paying to get new headshots all the time. You're just kind of. Yeah. And they, you know, pilot season, you would. I would audition a lot, not book anything. And then it would be like weeks without an audition. So when they finally called and they like, we have this job audition. Even if I felt like this is terrible and I'm so not right for it.

[Monica Padman]

You had to.

[Dax Shepard]

Because then you had to do it. Because then, like, I was constantly worried that they would be like, well, you know, Know what? I think it's time for us to part ways. Yeah. Yeah. And that's. I don't know if you have to do that, but like, auditioning for stuff that you don't believe in. Oh. And where you feel like you're completely wrong for it, it. You feel dirty in your soul. Like, it was horrible. Yeah. You're already worried you're not good enough to do this job. And then when you go in and try to put your square peg in that round hole, it just is like, oh, my God.

[Monica Padman]

Mix with. No, you think. Sometimes you think you're too good to do it. You're like, I'm better than this horrible piece of shit. And then you don't book it.

[Dax Shepard]

Yeah.

[Monica Padman]

And you're like, like, oh, my God, what is this? Like, yeah.

[Dax Shepard]

And then you get from there to being like, well, I'm clearly not better than this horrible piece of shit, but I'm so wrong for it. And I know I'm not gonna book it, but I still have to go into that room and be. Get humiliated.

[Monica Padman]

Yeah.

[Dax Shepard]

So I. Yeah. Well, the first couple years, I went out with a bunch of friends from Sweden and we kind of had a little. First we rented like a little pool house in Santa Monica. So four of us lived in a small pool house of this Swedish lady. Yeah. And then we're renting a small apartment, but so we had each other. I didn't know anyone else out here. Right. So. And we were definitely not plugged into the city or the nightlife or like. Okay. We would. Yeah. On. On Saturdays we would, like, play ping pong in our pool house in Santa Monica and drink beer and then take a cab into Hollywood to try to get into a nightclub knowing that we wouldn't get in four dudes. Yeah. Get. Turn around and then happily get back in the Cab and go back to Santa Monica and keep drinking beer, play more ping pong. So that was like our weekend routine.

[Monica Padman]

Having done that. Do you ever now, like, this happened to me. I went to Craig's and I, you know, there's so. Do you ever go to Craig's? Have you ever been to Craig's in West Hollywood? Ish. It's a restaurant and there's always paparazzi there. And it's always like.

[Dax Shepard]

It's a hot spot.

[Monica Padman]

It's a hot spot. And I just imagine you going to Craig's now or coming out. Like, it'd be a frenzy. It'd be like a whole to do. And I wonder how you can. Can sort of reconcile that as someone who would just like stand in the line at the club and never be able to get in. And now they're like, they would die for you to come in. Is that. Can you like integrate that?

[Dax Shepard]

No, I just remember after a couple years, we met a Swedish girl out here, like, and. And she was plugged into the city and she was so nice. Yeah. She moved out of here when she was like 20, but she was very plugged into the city. Okay. And she would take pity on us. So she would like. I remember, like, we would try to get into a nightclub, couldn't get in. And my buddy called her and like, helena, do you know anyone here at the club? Can we get. And she's like, I'll be right down, boys. And then she would come down in her sweatpants to just like get you in. Sell the pointer to be like. The bouncer was like, hey, can you let these guys in? Yeah. And he's like, all right, Helena. And then she would go back home. So she wouldn't even go out. Like, it was so sweet of her. She knew that we spent years going, going like into clubs, not getting in, back to Santa Monica to play ping pong. So a couple of times we did, like, yeah. Have the luxury of getting in somewhere. I can tell you how I integrate it. I wanted that.

[Monica Padman]

Yeah.

[Dax Shepard]

And I have it. And I love that. I love that when I drive by all these places that for years kind of haunted me. Like, I'd be afraid to even try to get in. Yeah. Just knowing as I drive by, oh, they would let me in.

[Monica Padman]

Yeah.

[Dax Shepard]

I love that. But I can't. And again, this is the Yantilog, the Swedish thing. I can't walk up to a bouncer. Like, if there's a line, I can't walk up and be like, what's up?

[Monica Padman]

Let Me in.

[Dax Shepard]

Google me. Succession, dude. Google me. Yeah, Google me. I dare you.

[Monica Padman]

But you wouldn't have to. As soon as you get out of the car, they're going to be like, oh, oh, Alex is here. We got to get him in.

[Dax Shepard]

Yeah, but the sweet of me would be like, I'm going to look down. Back of the line. Shut up. Wait for your time. Your turn to get in. It's all wasted on you, right? Really, it is. It really is. Because I don't do it. But I. I do. I do know what it was like to be so on the outside. And when I drive by, I'm not even going to the places, but I just go like, oh, you could. You moved here and you were looking at it and you couldn't have it, and you can't. You have it now.

[Monica Padman]

I.

[Dax Shepard]

What that was. I remember it being a conversation that we often had as we were, like, waiting for the cab to take us back to Santa Monica. We would be like, in 10 years if we stand here on Santa Monica. Boulmar, you think we could get into any of these clubs one day?

[Monica Padman]

That's a dream.

[Dax Shepard]

One of us be able to get the others in. Can we leave Helena alone? Can we let Elena sleep? Can we take her off the clock? Yeah.

[Monica Padman]

Yeah. It's a weird thing to get to a certain. To get to that place here.

[Dax Shepard]

Yeah. From episode 960 with Jennifer Aniston.

[Monica Padman]

We're talking about kids, and this might be a. No.

[Dax Shepard]

No.

[Monica Padman]

But I. I'm. I'm curious.

[Dax Shepard]

Hit it. You can ask me anything.

[Monica Padman]

Okay. I froze my eggs twice. It went very badly. I did a podcast about it. It was, you know, following the journey. It was a whole thing. And I'm 38 and I am single, and I'm, you know, feeling like. Like, time to start making some big decisions. It kind of feels like now or never. Ish. To even try with some of those eggs. And I'm starting to just feel like. I think it's. I think it's never.

[Dax Shepard]

And why?

[Monica Padman]

Because now, like.

[Dax Shepard]

Can I ask you a bigger question?

[Monica Padman]

Yes, please.

[Dax Shepard]

Are you doing that? The freezing. Have you always wanted children?

[Monica Padman]

I've always not known if you wanted them. Yes. So it's not like we had Chelsea on that podcast. Chelsea Handler, who I know we both love. And she, you know, she's kind of always been like, no, I don't.

[Dax Shepard]

It's very cut and dry. Nope, not my thing.

[Monica Padman]

Not her thing. And I, like, I respect it. And I wish I had that. Cause it's not that it's very much like, oh, But I do, Like, I'm very close with their kids, and it's like, oh, my God. To have one of these. That's mine. You know, you get kind of wrapped up in it. But also my life is also very full. What you just said about all your friends and your life, I have the same thing. So it kind of feels like maybe it's okay that I don't. And I wonder. You've said, like, you know, you're on the other side of that. And I wonder if there's peace there.

[Dax Shepard]

Oh, it's so peaceful.

[Monica Padman]

You ha. You're like, I'm good.

[Dax Shepard]

It's so peaceful. But I will say, well, there's a point where it's like, it's out of my control. There's literally nothing I can do about it.

[Monica Padman]

Yeah.

[Dax Shepard]

And when people say, but you can adopt. I don't want to adopt.

[Monica Padman]

Yeah.

[Dax Shepard]

I want my own DNA in a little person. And that's the only one, Selfish or not, whatever that is. I wanted it to come. But is there the moments of. Mm. Well, this goes around into. It's probably a topic I don't really want to talk. Discuss. But when you meet someone and you go, God, we would have made some good kids.

[Monica Padman]

Yes.

[Dax Shepard]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Of course. So that might come up, and then that'll pass within three seconds.

[Monica Padman]

Right, Right.

[Dax Shepard]

And then you're like, but guess what? You'll plan a trip to Mexico. Yeah. You'll be on that trip. Just take a look at that vacation for five minutes. And you're like, oh, good night. Bye. See you later.

[Monica Padman]

What are we gonna watch? Yes. Okay. That's so.

[Dax Shepard]

It's. It's. It's.

[Monica Padman]

Because it's a. It's like a.

[Dax Shepard]

It's a romanticizing, but once you are on the other side of it, there is definitely a yeah. Because it's out of your. Out of your control. Just wasn't in the plan. Whatever the plan was.

[Monica Padman]

Exactly. I do think some people, though, like, can't let it go. Let it go. And I worry. I guess that would be me.

[Dax Shepard]

But may.

[Monica Padman]

But hope.

[Dax Shepard]

But come over and I'll help you let it go.

[Monica Padman]

Okay. I'll take that invite.

[Dax Shepard]

Yes.

[Monica Padman]

Yeah. It's a lot. It's a lot.

[Dax Shepard]

It is a lot. And by the way, it's very emotional, especially in the moment when you. I get when they say, oh, it's. That's it.

[Monica Padman]

Yeah.

[Dax Shepard]

Cause there is a weird moment when that happens. Yeah. This is getting too dark for this Podcast. No, no, no. But it's like there's a moment when you are. It's actually. Oh, yeah, this is not even viable.

[Monica Padman]

Exactly.

[Dax Shepard]

So. And you're like, oh, that's probably a blessing and a curse. It probably hurts really bad. And probably you move into acceptance mode and it probably is liberating on the other side. Totally. I would guess. Yeah. I ran into Sandler and Spade in the room right outside and I knew Sandra Chandler from Forever. You knew him pre Friends? Yes. Oh, wow. Because he was very good friends with Charlie Schlatter who played Ferris Bueller in the television version of Ferris Bueller's Day Off.

[Monica Padman]

Wow, you guys go so fast.

[Dax Shepard]

So we met at Jerry's deli in like 1912. Okay. And then just before the Spanish flu. Just before. Right before. So yeah. So. And I, I don't know why I. I had this self righteous attitude of like, I don't know if women are treated the way they should be treated on this show. It's a very male dominated and I mean, I would love to be here if it was like in the Gilda Radner day. I mean, this is what my semi, the brain that semi remembers things that are back that far. Yes, something like that. Okay, I got. Okay, that makes sense. And then it was like, well, I don't remember what happened in there. And then I can't remember. But I just remember Friends then happened and then that's where I went. You really up. You chose wrong.

[Monica Padman]

You think so?

[Dax Shepard]

Oh my God, yes. Well.

[Monica Padman]

People say regrets.

[Dax Shepard]

I could be interviewing you and I could be going, so you turned down Friends for us. And people would be like, that would.

[Monica Padman]

Be the saddest story.

[Dax Shepard]

Yeah, people. Yeah. It all works out. Ultimately, I don't think there's ever. Everything is sort of sort of land meant to be from episode 846 with Adam Scott. So obviously since then you have done a ton of stuff, but severance is like the most spectacular thing. And as you know, because Chris and I sent you voicemails. Yes. Almost after every episode. Yes. I'd like to play a couple of them, please. Oh, hey. So we're in bed and we just had a quick question.

[Monica Padman]

Hi, we just had a quick question.

[Dax Shepard]

Are you guys fucking drawing this new season? Is that what's taking so long?

[Monica Padman]

What in the God damn hell is taking so long?

[Dax Shepard]

These are the kind of messages you would receive after every. You son of a bitch. You wanted the compliments or here comes the fucking complaints. Belle and I just sat here. Here on the edge of Our seat. Waiting to find out what happens when you guys come to.

[Monica Padman]

You prick.

[Dax Shepard]

You piece of prick. And that goes for Ben too.

[Monica Padman]

Losers.

[Dax Shepard]

Oh, buddy. Are we pissed that this episode just ended when the switches were thrown. So you wanted the cake and now you got to take the rat poison tooth. You piece of. Okay, so that's kind of an. Was that for the finale Alley? It was, I think one before. Oh, the one right. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And I just gotta. This ended up being three. Oh, another thing. It's gonna be a long week for us and for you. Yeah. Because we're waiting. So either block my number or get used to this. You. You piece of. Okay. And then the last one. Big update you'd probably find funny. My wife just ran through a plate glass window off the second story of our home. Home. And was rushed to the hospital. You probably want to know if she's still alive. I will tell you next week. I have all those on my phone as well. I want to play your response. Just one of your responses. Which is. Is so good. You can't imagine how much pleasure it gives me to have the both of you over a barrel like this. I may as well tell you now that the entire season was created just to frustrate straight and destroy the both of you. Eat shit. Look at that. You're so fucked. Oh, yeah. Naomi hopped in. That's cute. Yeah. There's a scene in the show actually where we were on the side of the road at the site of my wife's car accident in like the seventh episode. And just by sheer coincidence, because we shot the whole season at once. It was on the one year anniversary of my mom dying. Oh, wow. Which was a completely. And I didn't realize it till that day. And so there were things like that where I could pretty directly just let out how you were feeling. Yeah. And process. When you shut the door to the apartment and you go, yeah, we got some dealing to do. Yeah. Are you overcome with fear for that process or what's your reaction to knowing that? Like, oh, we're gonna go through some stuff now. Now. And we're going to be by ourselves. Yeah. And we're going to get into this. I think that I'm a person who tries to compartmentalize and push things to a later date. And so I think I busied myself with the getting ready for the show and the election was about to happen. And so I was preoccupied with that. And so. So I closed that door and was like, oh, shit. And really felt the loss right there. Like, oh, There is a giant elephant in this room with me. But it'll be there. I'm here for eight months or whatever. It'll get to that. I'll be fine. And eventually, after a few weeks and just hours of alone time because no one was socializing really, and. And restaurants, you know, it was so weird that I really did have to figure it out there. And I didn't talk to a therapist while I was there, and I really should have. I did kind of, in a way, sort of come to terms with it and come to terms with the fact that grief is something that is a flat circle in one way or the other. It stays with you. And sometimes it feels like it happened 10 minutes ago, and sometimes it feels like it happened 50 years ago. Yeah. And sometimes it's surreal that that person is no longer in your life. It's just, like, unbelievable. It's really hard to imagine someone exists and they don't. As dumb and simple as that is to say. It is so weird that you can exist and then not exist. Yeah. And someone that is so instrumental in who you are. You know, one thing I did kind of realize is that as, you know, this thing that. That I'm doing for a living, one thing I realized is that when she was gone, I realized that part of the reason I was doing this in the first place was for her to see it. Yeah. You know. Of course. Yeah. And so. So when that was gone, I was sort of like, well, who am I going to impress? So I had to straighten that out and sort of come to terms with the fact that these feelings and this love that you have for a person and their love for you is. Is, you know, doesn't go anywhere. It's still here. It's kind of what you're made of. Yeah, yeah. Yeah. It's like the structure of you is that. That's right. And a parent dying is sort of a big. It's like part of the sky going away or something. It's sort of a big thing. Well, it's the thing you're most tethered to. Yeah. So when my dad died, I had these conflicting feelings of like a. He had become a dependent of mom. Mine. And so we were in. You were taking care of him, supporting him. Yeah. So unfortunately, a lot of our conversations over those last few years were like, I need this, or can you. It's just not a great dynamic. Yeah. And then, you know, I lived with my mom primarily my whole life. Yeah. And he. When he was dying, it was a lot of work. For me. So I had this conflicting. I felt a sense of relief when he died. Yeah. And I was like, okay, this battle's over. We got him through. Through it without too much carnage. That's. That's a win. And so I think I had, like, I had a misleading sense of relief for a few months and then opened up the door to like, oh, I'm never gonna chat with him again. Or I'm never gonna. He's not gonna see anything. I do. You know? But through all of that, I was like, also, thank God it's not my mom. Yeah. Because my mom, for me, is the thing you're talking about. Like, Dax wants to live in the woods and fucking be annihilated drunk all day. And anything I've ever done positive was because my mom believed in enough that I was a good boy and I needed to make her happy. And so I've often thought, like, if she's not around for me to even think, what would she think? That feels like a very scary place for me to be in. Yeah. I really rely on her to almost be my super ego. Yeah. Just like in the back of your head, your mom is this very unique station that it's so fucking thankless. Like, do you watch Naomi? And I watch Kristen. My God. What? The girls. And meanwhile, I'm walking around like, you know, I know.

[Monica Padman]

They're like, dad.

[Dax Shepard]

Yeah.

[Monica Padman]

I know. You know that Nick Kroll special where he's just like, moms are annoying.

[Dax Shepard]

Yes.

[Monica Padman]

And it's like, they are. Why it's so unfair.

[Dax Shepard]

Because they know you so well.

[Monica Padman]

Yep.

[Dax Shepard]

In a way that no one else does. Not your dad. No one. They just know they were in your body. Well, they're who you were able to be scared in front of. Vulnerable. Yeah. Yeah. I mean, even as an adult, you know, something would happen. Yeah. I would call her. And no matter how embarrassing, you know that that call is there. Yes. You know, to your point, guaranteed I'm feeling better when I. Yeah. Get off the phone with my mom. 100%. She'd somehow find the silver lining. That's right. Horrific. And give you the kernel of advice, whatever it is. Yeah. Stay tuned for more. Armchair expert if you dare. Growing a business is complicated. Your network shouldn't be connected. Workplace from T. Mobile for Business gives you fully managed business Internet. That means network configuration and equipment tailored to your business needs. And performance monitoring to keep. Keep systems and operations running smoothly. One cost effective solution to connect and support across locations so you can focus on what's next. Accelerate your growth. On America's most advanced 5G network. Start now@t mobile.com Connected Workplace. From episode 864 with Mindy Kaling.

[Monica Padman]

So interesting. I worked in the office for eight years. Loved the experience. Largely male cast. What I want to write about is about women who are ambitious and lust after people that they're not interested in.

[Dax Shepard]

Yes. Yes.

[Monica Padman]

Is then every subsequent show. The sex lives with college girls. This new Kate Hudson show. It's all just about women who are trying to make the most of what they have and have sex and be successful. The correlation from how I was in high school and what I didn't have is just expressed in those shows that I was able to do after the. But it's really interesting to me. My shows have a lot of horny women. My friend BJ Novak makes this joke that every trailer for any Mindy Kaling show has a hot man's torso in slow motion. And I was like, how dare you? That's incredibly reductive. That's not true. And then it is true. Yeah, every trailer.

[Dax Shepard]

It's great. It's your turn.

[Monica Padman]

It's like Pauline Chalamet, Kate Hudson, Maitre Ramakrishnan. Their head is turning. And it's just like those 80s movies that they can't make anymore. The National Lampoon movies where it's like a guy is following a bouncing girl.

[Dax Shepard]

On the volleyball team in running point. She enters the coach's domain and he happens to be shirtless doing pull ups. I do a lot of pull ups. Almost never shirtless.

[Monica Padman]

I mean, that's a good point. You could give it a try.

[Dax Shepard]

It's a solid point.

[Monica Padman]

Might be better. It was Jay Ellis. So Jay Ellis on your show, and he's like, could I wear my sweatshirt for my pull ups? You'd be like, whatever makes you comfortable, Jay. But if it's all the same to you for the story, it's like having.

[Dax Shepard]

Jordan there and there's two sports on the table. You could either film him playing ice hockey or play basketball. We should have him probably play basketball.

[Monica Padman]

We should have him play basketball.

[Dax Shepard]

Yeah. We should get that top off and see how many pull ups we get.

[Monica Padman]

And for the record, J Alice, he is a very funny part in this. He's more than just his hot body. But for the trailer. Yeah, you got it. You got to hook him. I'm still thinking about when Dax call me hot at the beginning.

[Dax Shepard]

Yeah, you're very hot. I follow you on Instagram and I often look at pictures of you and I go, she's so Hot.

[Monica Padman]

That's, like, really nice.

[Dax Shepard]

I've told Monica that I'm not doing this for yourself.

[Monica Padman]

She has new information. Well, that's the outcome you hope for when you post those photos, of course. And you think, oh, the best. Some anonymous pervert in the middle of the country thinks that. But to think a celebrity is thinking you're hot, that's pretty good. I would guess many. In fact, most people think that, hey, that's new. And that feels nice. Thank you.

[Dax Shepard]

Okay, so you liked boys, but did you not have a boyfriend through high school?

[Monica Padman]

No. Not even through college.

[Dax Shepard]

Now, this is really personal, but we just talked about mine, and I gotta bring you into it. Monica.

[Monica Padman]

Sure, go ahead.

[Dax Shepard]

Comes a point when I met Monica, she was 27. Eight.

[Monica Padman]

Yes.

[Dax Shepard]

And as she was approaching 30, I just started getting the sense maybe Monica hadn't.

[Monica Padman]

I probably told you.

[Dax Shepard]

Well, I asked you all. Ultimately, I said to Kristen, I don't think Monica's been with a dude. And she's like, yeah, I think she has. I'm like, I don't think so. And then I needed resolution to that kind of argument.

[Monica Padman]

Professionally, you needed to.

[Dax Shepard]

Well, luckily, she didn't work for me.

[Monica Padman]

That's true. At the time, we were just friends.

[Dax Shepard]

We argued about podcasts all the time. She hadn't. And then my first thought was, is it a religious thing?

[Monica Padman]

Right. Waiting for marriage?

[Dax Shepard]

Yeah. I was like, do you want to be married? Is it a religious thing?

[Monica Padman]

You kind of want to say yes. There was a part of me that wanted to say, yeah, there's a real reason that I haven't. And there's a reason nobody wants to have sex with me. It's because I'm waiting for marriage. But no, I was just like, no, it just hasn't happened.

[Dax Shepard]

But then it becomes a thing, as Monica explained to me, where it's like, now you pass some point where you're like, oh, my God, people are going to think this is weird about me. Were you starting to have any of those fears?

[Monica Padman]

Yeah. We're describing the premise of the 40 year old virgin, my first movie, which is good to hear. That besides being just a funny comedy or like a speaking to a truth in my mind, I said, this has to happen before I'm 24. And I don't know whether I heard this afterwards or not, but I remember one of the great gifts that Tina Fey, I think, has given to us besides just being really funny. And I love 30 Rock and just being such an amazing joke writer is, I think, at some point, and she's not someone who is super open, but she said in a book or something that she lost her virginity at age 20, 24. And I remember thinking, that's like a very nice thing to do. It's a gift to give some guideposts to nerdy women. She's beautiful, smart, happy marriage, beautiful daughters. And I thought that was great because we can't all be Dax. We can't all be 12. And well, hold on guys.

[Dax Shepard]

Don't make me the enemy.

[Monica Padman]

No, no, no.

[Dax Shepard]

I was in a hick town and I was super large and we were bored. No, no, no.

[Monica Padman]

And I feel like I keep making you feel self conscious about it, but so I remember thinking that then it happened before then. Good for you. You're way ahead of me.

[Dax Shepard]

Did you money had this too. There is an ambition. So if you do decide you're going to do something, anything in the world, you will figure out how to do it.

[Monica Padman]

That's true.

[Dax Shepard]

And I think you pretty much are like, I'm doing this.

[Monica Padman]

It was like a ticking clock. At one point I was like, it really is time. I wasn't like, I don't care who doesn't have to be the love of your life. That was similar to how I felt. I didn't need that. But I didn't want to have a random hookup. And then I was never in a relationship. So I was like, how am I gonna do it? So one thing I think that's tricky about Indian culture is this idea that in my house, dating or any of that was pretty much forbidden in high school. No one is dating, by the way. Not that anyone was coming after me or anything, but I also knew that it was not an option. And then you're expected to sort of like go to college and then meet someone and know how to date and then fall in love and get married, but with what's skills.

[Dax Shepard]

And everyone's already had five girlfriends that you're going to meet.

[Monica Padman]

I've not yet kissed somebody. Right, Exactly. Or even know how to be normal in romantic, intimate situations. Forget even about sexual situations. Situations when someone wants to go to the movies with you and you're like, I only know how to do this with my female friend. Yeah. Like, I know how to go to the movie with my cousin.

[Dax Shepard]

Yeah. What do I eat when I'm with you? Am I getting the popcorn and the milk Duds?

[Monica Padman]

You've seen this? Probably. People go into, I think I just need to have sex right now.

[Dax Shepard]

Right.

[Monica Padman]

And so I didn't go through. But I now that I have three children. Definitely want to destigmatize this. You know, I do feel pretty Indian and Hindu in a lot of ways. And I really want to instill that in my kids culturally. But I do think what I want for them is to be like, yeah, you can go on a date or you can like somebody and talk to me about it. Because I didn't love going into college being like, does a kiss with someone then mean we have to then take this all the way to its completion? Yeah, I didn't love that. It's also a source of a lot of my comedic storytelling. Never have I Ever is literally about a nerd who asks the hottest guy at school, would you have sex with me? Growing up in the 80s and the 90s, and I think Dax were about.

[Dax Shepard]

The same age, four years older than you.

[Monica Padman]

But you are.

[Dax Shepard]

Yes, yes, yes. 75. Sorry. You go ahead and say, sorry, Sorry.

[Monica Padman]

Sorry, sorry, sorry for your so sorry age. Are you 50?

[Dax Shepard]

I just turned 50.

[Monica Padman]

Congratulations.

[Dax Shepard]

Thank you.

[Monica Padman]

That's a good one.

[Dax Shepard]

I made it.

[Monica Padman]

So in the 80s, the 90s, it felt like there was so many coming of age for this, like, very specific kind of guy. A geeky guy can't buy me love. And then later, Judd did it with Super Bad. And this is why I've always feel like it's crazy when people can't watch things with subtitles. Because I'm like. My entire life was being able to relate to characters who look nothing like me. I can do it easily. I'm very invested in Ross and Rachel. And we were on a break, and, like, I can relate to them.

[Dax Shepard]

Yes.

[Monica Padman]

And so it's crazy when people are like, I can't watch Parasite.

[Dax Shepard]

What if they're dyslexic? First of all, I loved Parasite. But what if reading takes so much of your concentration you're totally missing all the visuals.

[Monica Padman]

That's a separate situation.

[Dax Shepard]

Okay.

[Monica Padman]

And sometimes I find subtitles annoying too, when I just wanna relax. So I felt like that felt really untapped and fun. This thing that I could relate to and wanting to do shows and TV about that kind of stuff.

[Dax Shepard]

From episode 954 with Charlie Sheen. Will you tell her about the time that you're visibly falling asleep on camera? Yeah. No, that was. I don't know where that came from. I don't know. I think I do. I think it came probably from, you know, some sexual behavior that I'd heard about. Right. But I'd never done it. Okay. She's like, what the hell?

[Monica Padman]

No, I want to Know what are.

[Dax Shepard]

We on the doorstep of here? I was filming a movie in Canada called Free Money and I've been going way too hard and it was like midday and I had this scene in a cafe or a diner. Right. And I was trying to get through it and I kept the dialogue just, you know, some days it's just, it's in a different language. Right. But it wasn't so much about the dialogue, it was about the level of fatigue and I thought I was keeping it together, you know. And the director, between takes, he walks up and he says, hey man, I, I, I, I see you falling asleep on camera. Oh my God, Monica in the tape. Yeah. And I've never done heroin. Right, right. And that's like a heroin thing, right?

[Monica Padman]

Sure.

[Dax Shepard]

Nodding off, Boom. Whoa. Or even Suboxone. Yeah, right, yeah. Which is like, you know, contemporary methadone.

[Monica Padman]

Yes, yes.

[Dax Shepard]

I'm telling her. And she's your co host. She doesn't know. She doesn't know about Suboxone. Oh, you do know about Suboxone.

[Monica Padman]

I've seen all these drug documentaries.

[Dax Shepard]

I know about that. So. And over prescribed everywhere on planet Earth and needs to. Right. Closer look at that. Right? Yeah, yeah. And so I said, okay. Oh, all right, my bad. I need a, I need a cup of ice. Bring me a cup of ice. He's like, okay, what do you, what do you, what do you want? What do you want to drink? I'm like, just the ice. And he's like, okay. I said, give me a minute. So I go into the bathroom. I'm like, okay, I heard about this somewhere else, but for, you know, sexual reasons, I'm gonna, I'm gonna, I'm gonna stick an ice cube up my butt.

[Monica Padman]

No.

[Dax Shepard]

Yeah. And, and I'm pretty sure. And it was a good sign size one. I didn't want it to melt. You got one of those like big round ones they make. If I see it in the cup, I'm like, no, no, no. I need a ragged ball sized piece of ice. Can you imagine? Yeah. And I keistered it like I was sneaking drugs into prison. Right. And, and, and freaking. And was suddenly wide away because it was so uncomfortable. So it was so cold. Not to mention the clenching you were probably doing to keep it in.

[Monica Padman]

Yeah. Also the leak. Yeah.

[Dax Shepard]

You're just leaking, you're not peeing. Right. But I think I was in a, I was in like a conductor's jumpsuit. You know that the overall thing tells you the quality of the movie. Right. And I came back to set and I'm like, let's do this. You're so serious, man. Monica, there's footage of these takes in the movie, which is incredible. Yeah. And then I've got sort of the melty clock going. Right? Like, how many takes is he going to need? Right. And we got through it. And I think after that I wasn't like, oh, I better go get the ice cube out. Sure. Because we've all, you know, thought about, like, the perfect crime. You know, you shoot somebody with an ice cube bullet.

[Monica Padman]

That's right.

[Dax Shepard]

And then there's no ballistics. Right. So I'm like, okay, it's just gonna vanish. There will be no ballistics in this crime scene. Right. And so. And so we made the day. But when I saw that scene in the dock, I'm like, why didn't they just send me home?

[Monica Padman]

Right.

[Dax Shepard]

You know?

[Monica Padman]

Exactly.

[Dax Shepard]

That's. That guy's not well. That guy's not well. You know, dad and I go down to take part in a TV show that's pits. Oh, this is going to blow your mind. Actors against athletes. And the card we drew was Michael Jordan. So we're. It's a two on one. It's a two on one versus Jordan. It's a three part competition. It's a. It's free throws, a game of horse, and then a two on one. Oh, no. Wait to hear how it plays out, Monica. I mean, you want to know or you just want to watch?

[Monica Padman]

No, I want to know.

[Dax Shepard]

She loves Jordan. We beat him. Not only did. No, no, no, no, no. Not only did he. How is this possible? Not only did he beat him, this is where he has these absolute, like mythical strokes of magic. Yeah, he hit eight. Charlie hit eight free throws in a row.

[Monica Padman]

Did you even. Did you play basketball?

[Dax Shepard]

No, I played baseball, but I shot with dad in the backyard, like my whole life growing up. Hit an 18 foot jumper in the 2 on 2 to seal it to win the game.

[Monica Padman]

This is not a normal life.

[Dax Shepard]

He gets out of treatment, he is dead. He's dead. One of his times, getting out of treatment, dad picks him up, he wants to just watch baseball. He loves baseball. They stop by this place and there's grown men playing a game of baseball in a league. And because they're them, they all of a sudden they let Charlie take a nap. Back. First swing out of treatment, life's over. Home run. Of course you're confused. Exactly. You've got like superpowers and then you're superhuman. I mean, you're extra human and you.

[Monica Padman]

Have superpowers this is too much to like be holding all at once.

[Dax Shepard]

But on the drive back from the Jordan thing, I've got the scene with me because I know that on Tuesday or maybe even Monday, I have to report back and do this thing.

[Monica Padman]

Yes.

[Dax Shepard]

And so I read it with dad in the limo, just having done the Jordan thing, working on Bueller. Right. And we read it. We. Once. I didn't do anything with it. And he stopped me and said, that's, that's it. You've nailed it. And I was confused. I was like, I. I didn't, I didn't. I did nothing.

[Monica Padman]

Yeah.

[Dax Shepard]

And he said it took me 30 years to learn how not to do that. Yeah. It was a trip. Wow. So that's kind of what I walked in with. And. And I was really hoping that Hughes was going to be okay with this giant, you know, very specific piece of advice. Yeah. You know, and. And he was. Was. And he was. But of course, on the day I overslept and I was two hours late and it was really. Oh, yeah, it was awful. I mean, he gets the job. This is, again, this is an easy theory to make. And I want you to tell me if you think there's anything realistic to this, which is these things come incredibly easy to you and something about the subconscious goes, this isn't right and we're going to fix it. And the way we fix it is we're going to destroy it. Right.

[Monica Padman]

Sure. Some self sabotage.

[Dax Shepard]

Sure. But this was, I think, before. Oh, yeah, yeah. But there's an inkling of it. It's like, how are you on time to get the job? You get the job too easy. You go win a game with Jordan. Somehow you can't wake up on time. That's a good point. Why can't you wake up on time? You make. You weren't late for the thing. Yeah, that's true. You weren't late for that. Yeah. You know, you got that too easy. And now we're like, you have a reason, but it's suspicious. Yeah, it is suspicious. Even sitting here today day. It doesn't make sense. Yeah. And a lot of your stuff doesn't make sense. You can't. You can't draw it up. Right. You can't plan it. You know, Follow Armchair Expert on the Wonry app, Amazon Music, or wherever you get your podcast. Podcasts. You can listen to every episode of Armchair Expert early and ad free right now by joining Wondry plus in the Wondry app or on Apple Podcasts. Before you go, tell us about yourself. By completing a short [e-mail] survey hey basketball fans. Steve Nash here. Ready to elevate your basketball IQ? I'm teaming up with LeBron James to bring you the latest season of Mind the Game and we're about to take you deeper into basketball than you've ever gone before. We're breaking down the real game, the X's and O's that actually matter. In every episode we'll share elite level strategy, dive into career defining moments and explain the why behind plays that changed a game, a team or a championship. LeBron and I have lived this game at the highest level for decades. We've been in those pressure moments and made those game changing decisions and learned from the greatest battles bow minds in history. Now we're pulling back the curtain and sharing that knowledge with you. Time to go beyond the highlights and get into the real heart of basketball. Watch Mind the game now on YouTube prime video or Listen wherever you get your podcasts.