Chelsea Handler Returns Again

Summary

Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard: "Chelsea Handler Returns Again" – Episode Summary

Release Date: February 10, 2025
Guest: Chelsea Handler
Hosts: Dax Shepard, Monica Padman
Additional Participants: Kristen Bell

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Introduction

In this special episode of Armchair Expert, host Dax Shepard welcomes back the multifaceted Chelsea Handler. Joined by co-host Monica Padman and occasional insights from Kristen Bell, the conversation delves deep into Chelsea's personal journey, her latest endeavors, and reflections on life at fifty.

Celebrating Milestones: Chelsea's 50th Birthday and Book Release

Chelsea Handler marks a significant milestone by celebrating her 50th birthday, coinciding with the release of her new book, "I'll Have What She's Having." Dax humorously remarks on the symmetry of releasing her book on her 50th birthday, to which Chelsea responds:

"[04:17] Chelsea Handler: I do a little bit. Because 25 is a good, solid, round number... I was like, you know what? Let's blow it out. It's my 50th birthday. Let's release the book on my 50th birthday."

She plans to celebrate with combined book and birthday parties in various locations, including New York, Whistler, and Los Angeles.

Reflections on Aging and Personal Growth

The discussion transitions to societal perceptions of turning fifty. Chelsea shares her skepticism about clichéd affirmations like "I'm sexier than ever," emphasizing genuine self-awareness over superficial statements:

"[10:52] Chelsea Handler: One thing I did hear that I thought was good is that you get to this age and you're not preoccupied with the past and you're not preoccupied with the future. You are more present and living in the moment..."

Dax complements this by expressing his own feelings about aging, noting a blend of youthful enthusiasm and mature physical health:

"[10:07] Dax Shepard: Libido's thriving... Physically, I probably am in the best shape of my life."

Personal Stories: Travel, Health, and Relationships

Chelsea recounts her recent travels to New Zealand and Australia, highlighting moments that tested her patience and adaptability, such as adjusting to mask-wearing and dealing with unexpected mishaps during flights:

"[07:52] Dax Shepard: Wow."
"[08:37] Chelsea Handler: An hour into this flight and I'm fucking ruined. I've peed on myself. I have fucking vodka and orange juice over my shirt."

She also touches on the challenges of maintaining personal relationships, including her enduring partnership with Dax and raising two daughters.

Sobriety and Mental Health

A significant portion of the conversation centers on Chelsea's journey through sobriety and therapy. She shares candidly about her experiences with panic attacks, the importance of self-awareness, and the transformative impact of therapy:

"[24:08] Chelsea Handler: I have a therapist, but that was a very intense two-year period when I did go to therapy."

Dax relates by discussing his own therapeutic journey, highlighting the parallel paths they share in overcoming insecurities and building resilience.

Honesty and Vulnerability in Relationships

Chelsea emphasizes the value of honesty and vulnerability, both in her personal life and within the entertainment industry. She shares anecdotes about facing difficult conversations and the strength it takes to maintain authentic relationships:

"[54:05] Chelsea Handler: I wanted to be the person that when you ask me a question, I am giving you an honest answer. Even if it's hurtful."

This commitment to transparency is further illustrated through stories involving interactions with influential figures like Jane Fonda and navigating public perceptions.

Navigating Substance Use

The episode delves into the nuanced relationship Chelsea has with alcohol and drugs. She discusses mindful consumption versus habitual use, the importance of self-control, and strategies for maintaining balance:

"[44:04] Chelsea Handler: And I can go out to dinner and have a drink. I can go out to dinner and have three drinks... I don't get wasted anymore."

Dax adds his perspective, advocating for moderation and understanding personal limits:

"[49:50] Chelsea Handler: ...I would be like, okay, can I do anything else?"
"[49:50] Dax Shepard: Until I said in my AA voice, you don't have to do that forever. You just have to do that today."

Support Systems and Mentorship

Both hosts reflect on the absence of mentorship in their early careers and the value of having mentors later on. Chelsea shares her desire to empower younger generations by fostering authenticity and self-assurance:

"[63:11] Chelsea Handler: ...I want every young person to feel seen. I want every young person to feel confident."

Dax echoes the importance of mentorship, acknowledging his own challenges in seeking guidance and the positive impact it has had once he did.

Humorous Anecdotes and Light-Hearted Moments

Interspersed with deep conversations are moments of levity, including stories about accidental double underwear and amusing interactions with mutual friends. These light-hearted segments showcase the genuine camaraderie between the hosts and guests.

"[73:03] Dax Shepard: I blew past it, and then it was just a fun discovery. Wow."

Conclusion

The episode culminates with reflections on resilience, the cyclical nature of success and failure, and the enduring importance of genuine relationships. Chelsea's candid storytelling paired with Dax and Monica's supportive dialogue offers listeners a rich blend of humor, introspection, and heartfelt insights.

"[89:57] Dax Shepard: ...But the biggest takeaway from that relationship was a. That I was able to be in love in a vulnerable, mature, healthy way."

Notable Quotes:

• "[04:17] Chelsea Handler: Let's blow it out. It's my 50th birthday. Let's release the book on my 50th birthday."
• "[10:05] Chelsea Handler: Yeah, I'm having a lot of sex, for sure. That's great."
• "[24:08] Chelsea Handler: I have a therapist, but that was a very intense two-year period when I did go to therapy."
• "[54:05] Chelsea Handler: ...I am giving you an honest answer. Even if it's hurtful."

Final Thoughts

Chelsea Handler's return to Armchair Expert is a compelling exploration of personal growth, the complexities of aging, and the power of honesty. Her openness serves as an inspiration for listeners navigating their own life challenges, underscoring the show's commitment to celebrating the messy, human journey.

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Transcript

[Dax Shepard]

Wondry subscribers can listen to Armchair Expert early and ad free right now. Join Wondry plus in the Wondry app or on Apple podcasts or you can listen for free wherever you get your podcasts. Welcome, welcome, welcome to Armchair Expert. I'm Dax Shepard and I'm joined by Monica Padman.

[Chelsea Handler]

Hi.

[Dax Shepard]

We have a returning guest today.

[Monica Padman]

We do, but on video this time.

[Dax Shepard]

Yes. First time on video. She's so radical.

[Monica Padman]

Oh, I love her.

[Dax Shepard]

I've adored her for decades now. Chelsea Handler. She's a comedian, a television host, six time New York Times bestselling author and advocate. She has written Life Will Be the Death of Me and you'd too. You got to be kidding me. Lies that. These are all great titles. Lies that Chelsea Handler told me. Chelsea, Chelsea. Bang bang. In her new book, I'll have what she's having, which is really, really good and very introspective and it was a great jumping off point for lots of tasty conversations.

[Monica Padman]

She's just the best, I guess we should say. Although I don't. It's not, it's not too prevalent. But just in case people are confused, we recorded that Wednesday as the fires were starting.

[Dax Shepard]

Just starting. We just had high, high winds and a inkling of things were gonna happen again.

[Monica Padman]

Exactly.

[Dax Shepard]

Much worse later that day.

[Monica Padman]

Yeah. So if we sound trivial or yeah. If it's like, wait, they're kind of talking about it, but not really.

[Dax Shepard]

That's why she also has a great podcast. Dear Chelsea. Check that out. Please enjoy Chelsea Handler. We are supported by Tropical Smoothie Cafe. February is the month of romance and to celebrate, Tropical Smoothie Cafe is remixing a classic with their fan favorite chocolate covered strawberry smoothie. Featuring a delicious blend of strawberries, dark chocolate, white chocolate, banana and non fat yogurt, this crave worthy flavor is only available for a limited time.

[Monica Padman]

Limited edition.

[Dax Shepard]

Yes. In app and online. Prepare for love at first sip. And if you're a fan of their tropic bowls, make your taste buds swoon this Valentine's Day season with their new Nutella drizzle. Add on. There's just something about chocolate that says romance isn't there?

[Monica Padman]

There sure is. Chocolate's done a great job marketing to lovers.

[Dax Shepard]

Lovers. Absolutely. This month, gift a loved one or be your own valentine by indulging in refreshing tropical goodness. Because at Tropical Smoothie Cafe, it's always tropic Ahead. Take the scenic route and earn rewards with the Tropical Smoothie Cafe app. Download it today. Visit tropicalsmoothicafe.com to find a cafe near you. We are supported by Allstate. Some people just know they could save hundreds on car insurance by checking Allstate first. Like, you know, to check your sunroof first before driving through the car wash. Like, you know to put the leash on your dog first before you open the door to go for a walk. Not that I've ever made that mistake and had my dog run outside without me. Or scream his name repeatedly over and over and over again until I found him. Or, you know, to check that the guy who asked you out is an armchair first before you agree to go on a date with him. Sage advice Essential Checking first is smart, so check Allstate first for a quote that could save you hundreds. You're in good hands with Allstate. This content is intended for audiences in the US Only. Savings vary terms apply Allstate Fire and Casualty Insurance Company and Affiliates Northbrook, Illinois Chelsea it's really, really nice to see you.

[Chelsea Handler]

It's been a minute.

[Dax Shepard]

It's been some years.

[Chelsea Handler]

I've seen you guys, but I've seen you guys on my podcast.

[Monica Padman]

Yes, right, right, right.

[Chelsea Handler]

So it's very refreshing to be on your podcast once again.

[Dax Shepard]

I imagine your last book would have been the last time we had you.

[Chelsea Handler]

Maybe it was for some TV thing.

[Dax Shepard]

It doesn't matter. What's really fun? I don't know if you care about numbers, but I turned 50 a few days ago.

[Monica Padman]

Oh, happy birthday.

[Chelsea Handler]

I didn't know that.

[Dax Shepard]

Thank you. Yes, your birthday two. 25. 25 turned 50. I can't imagine a more symmetrical thing to happen. Do you like that kind of thing?

[Chelsea Handler]

I do a little bit. Because 25 is a good, solid, round number. I was born 2 hours, 25 minutes, 75. So for this book, when we were talking about a release date, they were like, is there any. You would release this on your birthday? Because that's a really good window. When they look at other books that are coming out to see what's your competition?

[Dax Shepard]

Who are you up against?

[Chelsea Handler]

I have no idea. I don't get into that shit anymore. I'm like, you know what? I don't have to waste time. Whatever happens, happens. I'm not attached to the outcome of anything. Not too much.

[Dax Shepard]

Within reason.

[Chelsea Handler]

Within reason, exactly. But I was like, you know what? Let's blow it out. It's my 50th birthday. Let's release the book on my 50th birthday. My new Netflix special comes out March 25th.

[Monica Padman]

Wow.

[Chelsea Handler]

I was hosting the Critics of Choice Awards this week, but they just got postponed to January 26th. So lots. 25, 20. They just postponed them for a year. No, no, no.

[Dax Shepard]

You said till 26.

[Chelsea Handler]

You mean January 26th.

[Monica Padman]

Okay.

[Chelsea Handler]

I was like a big event. January 26th, February 25th, March 25th. It's just going to be all the 25th. That's what I'm going to schedule all my releases for things.

[Dax Shepard]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Chelsea Handler]

I figured, you know what? I'm going to be 50 this year. I want to make it a huge celebration.

[Dax Shepard]

What are you going to do?

[Chelsea Handler]

Well, my book's going to come out, so I'm just going to have a big book party combined with a birthday party in New York. I'll have a party in Whistler. Maybe I'll have one in la.

[Dax Shepard]

Sure.

[Chelsea Handler]

I mean, I might as well just go for it. The year's been off to a banging start. I have to kind of make up for it.

[Dax Shepard]

You know, societally, you are comfortable throwing a birthday party. It doesn't give you any anxiety.

[Chelsea Handler]

It's funny you say that. I had a big banger when I was 40 and I remember walking through my house and seeing all the people that were there, and I was like, wow, this is awesome. They made this big birthday video, all these tributes from all my friends, and I remember thinking, this is probably as good as it's ever gonna get. It's only downhill from here. But now that I'm 50, I'm like, I can't not celebrate that. So I'm gonna just have little parties, people around, and make it an annual celebration. And not to an annoying degree, you know what I mean? I'll finance it. I'm not gonna have people buying me gifts. Absolutely not. If anyone wants to give me anything, they can write me a card. I appreciate words more than gifts. That's my love language.

[Dax Shepard]

I hadn't planned on getting you either, but now I'm gonna write you a card.

[Chelsea Handler]

Jack, I think you are planning on getting me something.

[Dax Shepard]

You just didn't know my birthday gift request from you would be to not have to get you anything for your birthday.

[Chelsea Handler]

I'll consider it.

[Dax Shepard]

So Polar was on and kind of tried to talk me into doing a dance party. 50th birthday party, she had done, and it was great. And I was like, yeah, yeah, I love dancing. But my birthday' the second. The day after everyone has quit eating and quit drinking and they've just been with people for way too long, for two weeks. It's just not a great date. So objectively, I think I'm right. And I'm like, I Just don't think it's a good date. And then I was like, is that just me being insecure? No one's gonna have fun. Cut to. So I don't have a big party. We go to Mexico with another family on my birthday, four of the eight people have Corona and I'm caring for the children. And so I was very confirmation biased. I was like, yeah, what if I had planned this big old birthday party and now I'm with a bunch of sick people? So I made the right call.

[Chelsea Handler]

I like that you're still calling Covid Corona.

[Monica Padman]

It was norovirus.

[Dax Shepard]

Noro. I meant to say noro.

[Chelsea Handler]

Noro. Norovirus. I see.

[Dax Shepard]

But wait, if I had called Covid Corona, you'd be upset.

[Chelsea Handler]

I would just be like, why are you calling?

[Monica Padman]

It's out of date.

[Chelsea Handler]

Like, it is out of date. Covid is out of date.

[Monica Padman]

Yeah, I agree.

[Kristen Bell]

Don't you think?

[Chelsea Handler]

I went to New Zealand and Australia this summer. I was touring my cousin Molly, who's my favorite travel buddy. Well, she was until we went on this trip together and she was insisting on wearing a. Because we were going to New Zealand and Australia and she has a young child and she's like, we're gone for two weeks. I don't want to get Leah sick. I'm like, leah's not here. Leah's at home. And you're not going to be home for two weeks. So if we're going to get sick, now's the time. I'm not wearing a mask on a 14 hour flight. I don't want to. It's over. And she's like, I need you to wear a mask. I don't want you to get me sick. And I'm like, oh, my God. So I put a mask on. Right.

[Dax Shepard]

Wow, that's very nice. I wouldn't have expected that from you.

[Chelsea Handler]

I was just presenting till she fell asleep.

[Dax Shepard]

Okay.

[Chelsea Handler]

And then I take a drink of. I have a cocktail. Forget what it was.

[Dax Shepard]

What is your flight cocktail?

[Chelsea Handler]

I usually don't actually drink on plan, but she was making me so annoyed.

[Dax Shepard]

Yeah. And so you're on that flight for a day.

[Chelsea Handler]

Yeah, it was like a party cocktail. Like I'm taking a sleeping pill and I'm having a cocktail and then I'm going to be on the show.

[Dax Shepard]

You need to build a listen to that.

[Chelsea Handler]

Right. I want to remind you of what life used to be like for you. So I forget I have my mask on. So I take a sip of my vodka orange juice, it spills all over my Shirt all over my face mask, okay? Then I go to the bathroom because I'm trying to clean up. I still have my fucking mask on. And I'd sit down on the toilet, pull my mask down in some sort of transference, thinking that's my underwear and pee right in my underwear.

[Dax Shepard]

She fucked up your entire outfit.

[Chelsea Handler]

An hour into this flight and I'm fucking ruined. I've peed on myself. I have fucking vodka and orange juice over my shirt. And I look at my cousin, I'm like, fuck you. Like, I don't even want to be on a trip with you again.

[Dax Shepard]

You turned me into a six month old.

[Chelsea Handler]

This is all because of this mask.

[Monica Padman]

Everything's damp now.

[Chelsea Handler]

I felt like a real hot mess on that flight.

[Dax Shepard]

We were going down to Nashville a couple years ago. I was at the tail end of COVID Corona. Pick your verbiage. And we were going to see our friend Huey, who's a God fearing Republican. I love him. Hysterical. He's a great guy. And he goes, just wanted to give you a heads up. We can't wait to see y'all. But don't wear them fucking masks down here. It's just not going to go very well for you. And then when we got there, I was like, that was sage advice.

[Chelsea Handler]

Yeah, people don't like that. Now I understand mask deniers and like all of that stuff.

[Dax Shepard]

How effective were they? I don't know. Maybe they had a point.

[Chelsea Handler]

I'm not ready to go back to that. And if there were another pandemic, I would just park myself somewhere.

[Dax Shepard]

I think it's okay to take on some new information. Everyone was scared. We did the best we could. And also some things have been learned and maybe a lot of things weren't necessary. Okay, so back to 50. Because everyone's asking me, at some point, I feel like I should have a great answer.

[Chelsea Handler]

I'm with you. I was just saying to my girlfriends, I'm like, guys, can you give me some good sagacious words or advice to throw around? Because it sounds so lame to be like, I'm sexier than ever. You hear these soundbites of people turning 50, I feel more alive. You're like, God, this is so lame. Sexier than ever.

[Monica Padman]

But is it true?

[Chelsea Handler]

Yeah, I mean, I'm having a lot of sex, for sure. That's great.

[Dax Shepard]

Libido's thriving.

[Chelsea Handler]

It's hot sex. Definitely a sexual awakening when you become older, look, you know, 40s, 50s, because you don't give a shit anymore. You don't care what position you're in. You don't care how your body is looking, you're not in that 20 year old phase where you're lying down horizontally to make yourself look thinner. One thing I did hear that I thought was good is that you get to this age and you're not preoccupied with the past and you're not preoccupied with the future. You are more present and living in the moment because you understand that all of that shit doesn't matter the way you thought it used to matter. You know when you obsess over stuff that has already transpired and that's a waste of energy and you're also worried so much about how things are gonna go or shake out and you realize you've gotten yourself this far, everything will work itself out. You have enough proof, you have a.

[Dax Shepard]

Pretty good bag of evidence that you keep landing on your feet and things keep working out. Like at some point you have to go like, yeah, I'm blessed. For whatever reason it keeps working out. And I need to not spend the rest of my time here convincing myself it's not gonna work out. Cause look at the fucking data. That's helpful. I don't have a satisfactory answer either. It's like, I still feel 12. I've yet to ever feel past 12 years old. So mentally that's how I feel. Physically, I probably am in the best shape of my life. I'm not having the hottest sex of my life. I've been with someone for 17 years.

[Chelsea Handler]

Wait a second, you don't feel as a father of two girls who are now probably almost teenagers, right?

[Dax Shepard]

10 and 11.

[Chelsea Handler]

Okay, so you must not feel like a child as a father to that age.

[Dax Shepard]

Well, I guess what I mean when I say I'm mentally 12 is at 12 years old, it occurred to me I had a moped on mobile. The world's mine, I can go out and tackle it. I just got this excitement at 12, 12 that I get to do whatever the I want while I'm here. That enthusiasm is still where it was at 12. And that's kind of how I'm tackling my day to day life. I keep waiting for me to wake up and be like, I just want to sit in my jammies all day. I don't feel that way at all. That's what I mean now, am I more mature and am I more patient and all these things. Oh my God, yeah. And especially have kids and be with someone for a long time and you.

[Chelsea Handler]

Will learn patience, but your adventure spirit.

[Dax Shepard]

Is what's still to be alive. On planet Earth still, right? So the thing that has been occurring to me, and it's way more philosophical and hard to explain, is I was watching Little women with my 11 year old in Mexico City on this trip and I'm telling her, you know that gorgeous mansion they're in? There's no fucking toilet inside. As pretty and great as that looks, those people had to cross the yard and go shit in a box in 1886. There's no indoor plumbing. And as I'm saying that, I'm like, I thought that was a thousand years ago, but I'm 50 years old. 50. So that's really just two more of my lifes ago. Oh my God, time is so much shorter than I thought. I'm tripping out on how recent everything was because now relative to me, I've lived for half a century. Me plus you is the Great Depression. That's bonkers to me. Yeah, that's what I'm like swimming with. Does it make me recalculate how I think about the past in some weird way?

[Chelsea Handler]

It's your examination of time. How long are we actually here for? What does that really mean? What other shit is going around that we don't know? And how many other matrixes are there? What else is happening? Also another thing that you come to is the acceptance of you're never gonna fucking have answers to these questions. Everything is conjecture. Everything is kind of like whatever you wanna believe in, go for it. But there's no proof of anything. So you kind of are like, I guess I'll just go with what I know.

[Dax Shepard]

The best conclusion I've reached from this kind of new calculation of time is it makes me mildly optimistic, which is, I know my life's pretty fucking short and in my lifetime you smoked in the car with a baby in the back and that was groovy. And you were drunk and they weren't.

[Chelsea Handler]

Wearing a seatbelt or in a car seat.

[Dax Shepard]

No. And there's major Jim Crow segregation still happening. So as daunting as all the problems are, it's like, my God, the thing does move pretty quick. And we were without toilets three of my lifetimes ago. So it's like, chill a little bit. This is a pretty new experiment and it's going pretty good.

[Chelsea Handler]

The things do happen very quickly and the dissolution of things can also happen very quickly. I was reading this thing that if you can stay alive through the next 20 years, be able to extend your life to live till you're about 150 because of the technology that they have developed.

[Monica Padman]

Knock on wood.

[Chelsea Handler]

Knock on wood. Who the fuck wants to live to 150? First of all, I can't afford to live till I'm 150. Who wants to live that long?

[Dax Shepard]

That's interesting. We could be our own trust funders. We could figure out how to at some point. Just coastal.

[Chelsea Handler]

I know. I just cashed out my bitcoin because I realized I had a big windfall. Well, not a big windfall.

[Monica Padman]

A windfall.

[Dax Shepard]

Can I be nosy and ask what you bought it for? Because what is it, like, 60,000 or something right now?

[Chelsea Handler]

It's funny. I was at this restaurant in Whistler, and I was talking to the server. He came over to our table. It was my first time this season seeing him, and I know him. I said, how has your year been? He said, so much has happened. I became a homo this year. And I went, oh, my God. And so I said. He said, congratulations.

[Dax Shepard]

Wow.

[Chelsea Handler]

I could have told you that last year.

[Dax Shepard]

I could have saved you a year.

[Chelsea Handler]

And he's Australian. He's got this Australian accent. And then he comes back and he's like, it's beautiful. It's up on this street. And I'm like, oh, homeowner? And he said, yeah, I had a big bitcoin windfall and I was able to purchase a home. And I said, oh, my God, Great. I said, so, are you gay? And he said, gay? Who is that? I said, oh, never mind. I thought I heard something. I guess I didn't. So then I got home, and I'm with this guy. And I said, I have a Coinbase account that I got from Christine Simons. I think she used to do Kristen's makeup alongside. So she used to do my makeup on one of my Talk shows in 2018 or 19. She told me to invest. And she's not someone I would ever take financially financial advice from, but she was so passionate about this bitcoin. Bitcoin, Bitcoin. Her forecast was that in 2025, it was gonna pop. So I bought, like, $20,000 worth.

[Monica Padman]

Wow.

[Chelsea Handler]

After my meeting with the homo homeowner, I went home.

[Dax Shepard]

Homosexual homeowner.

[Chelsea Handler]

I was, like, trying to get on my Coinbase account, which, of course, I don't know the password. I don't know anything.

[Dax Shepard]

This is what's preventing me from ever getting it. I can't get into my fucking iPhone.

[Chelsea Handler]

How do I find this information out? So the next morning, I asked my cousin, and she's like, let me ask your business managers if they know anything about it. I Was like, I think there should be some money in there. She's like, oh, yeah, they have this account. It's at $133,000. So off of 18,000, I made almost 115, something like that. And I was like, that's fucking awesome.

[Dax Shepard]

Yeah. Would you be opposed to kicking Christine 5k for that tip?

[Chelsea Handler]

It hasn't occurred to me.

[Dax Shepard]

Okay, well, I planted in the seed. And if you don't do it, it'll not. Well.

[Chelsea Handler]

But I am seeing her husband on a ski trip soon, so maybe I'll kick him something.

[Monica Padman]

You can buy him a drink.

[Chelsea Handler]

Well, he's staying at the house I rented, and I'm paying for the trip. I would do that anyway. But, yeah, you're right. I will set her or something. That would be fun, especially since it's on the record now.

[Monica Padman]

But also, you are, this should be said publicly, one of the most generous people in this city. That is the truth. And I don't think people know it, but every time I'm at a gala, you might not be there, but your name is up there, having donated an enormous amount of money. And I notice it. And I always think, man, Chelsea, that's really nice. Thank you. It's really true.

[Chelsea Handler]

I like to share my.

[Dax Shepard]

Well, you have a quote in the book that says, to have had and not shared is somehow worse than stealing. I mean, you wrote it. It's not you who said it, but do you recall putting that in your book?

[Chelsea Handler]

I mean, I've always shared. Even when I had no money, I like to share. When I was waitressing, I would take everyone out to dinner, and they'd be like, who the fuck do you think you are? Like some mafia from nature prison? I'd be like, yeah, who cares? I'll get this money back at the end. I'm gonna get this money. I knew I would be okay at some point. Living in Los Angeles and being around so much wealth and so many people and seeing how precious certain assholes are about materialistic things is pretty shocking. Especially when we're experiencing these fires and all of the things that we're experiencing. It's pretty gross to be so attached to something that is fungible.

[Monica Padman]

I was thinking that last night. Cause the Palisades have completely burned down. And I was like, think about the amount of sweaters and shoes. Like, the stuff that just is gone all of a sudden. And we do. I do like, oh, I want this and I want this, and I want to look like this. And it's so stupid.

[Chelsea Handler]

Yeah, it's so stupid. I have a couple of houses. I have my friends stay there. I want my friends to enjoy my house. I want my family. I want strangers to enjoy everything that I have. I love when my house is used. And being broken in, that feels homey to me. My friend was like, how can you let anyone stay at your house when you're not there? I'm like, because I'm not an anal retentive bitch. I don't care if something gets ruined that's replaceable. It doesn't matter. Obviously, with the fires, you're talking about major life stuff. But during the. Another friend called me and she goes, I got all my shoes out of the closet. And I thought, that's what you're gonna save?

[Monica Padman]

Yeah.

[Chelsea Handler]

Cause when the fire started, my house is in a fire zone. And they said, what do you want us to take? Do you want us to get the art off the walls? And I just thought, just let it burn. If it burns, it burns. I can't have that kind of attachment to things. Everything is replaceable. That isn't a human being or an animal. Are you trying to turn me on with this hamstring?

[Dax Shepard]

Are you seeing my hamstring?

[Chelsea Handler]

Pretty muscular. Yeah, it's popping. You look lean.

[Dax Shepard]

Oh, thank you.

[Chelsea Handler]

Are you leaner?

[Dax Shepard]

Perhaps again, I don't know what time you saw me, because I've gone on this weird journey where it's like, I wanted to get huge. I got huge. I was big, big. So now I'm, I think, my resting where I'll be. This is where we stay.

[Chelsea Handler]

Big is too big, don't you think? On men.

[Dax Shepard]

She was vocal about that. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Chelsea Handler]

For me, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Dax Shepard]

We had that babe, Nicholas Hoult on.

[Monica Padman]

He has a great body.

[Dax Shepard]

He's so gorgeous.

[Chelsea Handler]

He's so gorgeous.

[Dax Shepard]

I mean, he's so fucking gorgeous.

[Chelsea Handler]

He's as attractive as Pedro Pascal and then the other one, Paul Mezcal.

[Monica Padman]

Those helmets is nice.

[Chelsea Handler]

Yeah, yeah, very nice. He'd be stuff for Gladiator.

[Dax Shepard]

But he laughed, and I did go. I mean, I can acknowledge that's what girls like. He looks athletic. He doesn't look like a fucking meathead.

[Chelsea Handler]

I have a Russian nephew who literally is growing sideways. He's like 5, 10. Like, his wingspan is longer than his actual body. I'm like, you look like a giant. First of all, you look like you're from New Jersey. And second, you look like you're Russian. So those two things are not gonna attract anything.

[Dax Shepard]

No, you're one strike away from being completely undatable.

[Chelsea Handler]

Unfuckable.

[Monica Padman]

You want it to look natural, like they just naturally ended up looking nice. But not when you look. You immediately think, oh, they are trying so hard.

[Dax Shepard]

We've long discovered this and hashed this out, which is, guys do this for guys, and girls do it for girls.

[Monica Padman]

And girls do it for girls.

[Chelsea Handler]

What does Kristin think about your body size? What does she prefer?

[Dax Shepard]

I'm completely invisible to her. I mean, we've been together for almost two decades. She's even figured out how to not hear my voice, which is so loud. I get it. I know it's happening. Okay, so you have a seventh book. This is your seventh?

[Chelsea Handler]

This is my seventh.

[Dax Shepard]

It's hard. It's time consuming. I've been writing a memoir for two years.

[Chelsea Handler]

Oh, you have? I like the way you say memoir.

[Dax Shepard]

I'm not sure how to say it, so that was my best stab at it. Thanks for making fun of the dyslexic in the room. Please continue. You fuck.

[Monica Padman]

It was actually better because sometimes you say memoir, and I do think this got.

[Dax Shepard]

That sounds right as well.

[Monica Padman]

Yeah.

[Chelsea Handler]

It can take a long time to write a book. This one probably was the longest it took me because it started out as one thing. I was dating Jo Koy, and we were so public and so in love that my editor reached out and was like, it's so fun to see you this way, in this light. We would love to see you write a book about falling in love. It's so sweet. It's so unexpected.

[Dax Shepard]

Can we take one second on that? I was among those people. I don't actually get swept up in anyone's thing. In fact, most times I don't like seeing it. I was so delighted about that. I mean, genuinely, I thought, oh, my God, I just love this, and I hope this is a thing forever. And it feels very right.

[Monica Padman]

You seem so happy.

[Chelsea Handler]

You know, I was.

[Dax Shepard]

I like the pairing a lot. It felt very mature. Is that a weird way to say it?

[Chelsea Handler]

In many respects, it was mature. And it was so nice to feel that way and to not be embarrassed about sharing it. To get rid of all of that kind of protective stuff.

[Dax Shepard]

To appear eager is, like, the worst thing ever, Right?

[Chelsea Handler]

Yeah. Right.

[Dax Shepard]

So when you fail, it's extra embarrassing. Yeah, I'm seeing all that. I was kind of overjoyed with the whole thing.

[Chelsea Handler]

Thank you.

[Dax Shepard]

That's sweet. And then I was really, really kind of sad. And then I was curious, if you're comfortable, why didn't it.

[Chelsea Handler]

In the book, I talk about it, and I don't really get into the details of exactly what happened, only because I'm more mature than I was before in relationships. And I don't wanna throw anyone under the bus that I loved at one point. And I did really love him. I did not wanna break up with him. When we broke up, I felt like I had no choice. I felt like it was a decision between having a relationship and being full on or choosing myself and my sanity. Sanity's an overstatement, but I would have compromised my own value system.

[Dax Shepard]

Like when Jane left Ted.

[Chelsea Handler]

Not quite like that. You know, that story is fucking awesome.

[Dax Shepard]

Yeah.

[Chelsea Handler]

Let me digress for one second. Do you know that story in her book where he's flying her out to Atlanta, they're breaking up, and she gets off the plane, and his new girlfriend walks on the plane and sits down in her seat?

[Dax Shepard]

The doc on him is so phenomenal.

[Chelsea Handler]

I love Ted Turner's stories. I've read his book.

[Dax Shepard]

I think he might be my favorite of all those characters.

[Chelsea Handler]

He's a cowboy.

[Dax Shepard]

I mean, impossibly charming.

[Chelsea Handler]

And he also bought her a ranch after that in New Mexico. And he always thought she was going to come back. He's always like, come back to me when you're ready, when you accept this kind of relationship. Yeah, I liked that story too. Let's go back to what I thought was a mature, healthy relationship and what he thought was a mature, healthy relationship were two different things. And I would have had to compromise everything I stand for. I wasn't willing to do that. We had a couple of instances where it was obvious that we had different ideas about togetherness and the amount of time we would spend together and the expectations of me as his girlfriend, which to me were very outdated, old fashioned, and not going to work.

[Dax Shepard]

Right, right, right, right.

[Chelsea Handler]

The biggest takeaway from that relationship was a. That I was able to be in love in a vulnerable, mature, healthy way. And that when I realized it wasn't going to work out, I was able to end it in a healthy, mature way and not divulge all of the stuff and the ugliness that may have happened in between because I didn't want to focus on that. I knew then that I'm capable of accepting love, that I'm capable of being in love and being vulnerable in that way. And it made me want more of it.

[Dax Shepard]

That's great.

[Chelsea Handler]

So that was like a huge takeaway. I didn't for one second doubt any of my decision making. And I wanna say also, I love the green in here, you guys.

[Dax Shepard]

Well, if that's all you wanna say? Yeah, I wanna say I love the green in here.

[Chelsea Handler]

He got me at a point in my life. Cause I had known him obviously for many years earlier because of Chelsea. Lately. He got me at a point in my life where I needed to be reminded of my strength and my power of who I am. And he re instilled that in me because I had kind of lost interest in my work and the job and what am I doing?

[Dax Shepard]

Well, it's in the book. You lost your confidence.

[Chelsea Handler]

Yes.

[Dax Shepard]

Which is so scary.

[Chelsea Handler]

Destabilizing.

[Dax Shepard]

Yeah. And I would imagine too, for you, your defining characteristic is almost self assuredness.

[Chelsea Handler]

Right.

[Dax Shepard]

That's the attractive thing, is like, oh, this bitch ain't afraid of anything. Watch her go.

[Monica Padman]

Well, it's your core, it's your foundation. And so if that thing has a crack in it, it's gonna be extraordinary.

[Chelsea Handler]

Well, it's like if you destabilize a semi stable person, it's not as big of a crack or a fall. If you destabilize a very stable person, it's almost like an earthquake.

[Dax Shepard]

You have no experience in previous tools.

[Chelsea Handler]

Learned, so it was anathema to me. I was like, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. What's this feeling? I don't like it, I don't like it. I don't like it. And I had a couple of instances where I got that shaky leg syndrome when I was standing up publicly speaking.

[Dax Shepard]

Yeah. You were giving a speech at a women's conference.

[Chelsea Handler]

Yeah, like in the morning. And Brian Grazier had booked me, asked me to come and speak. And I was speaking and my leg just started shaking. And I remember being like, what is this? The more you focus on something, the bigger it becomes. And I had to sit down and I remember just sweating. It was a panic attack. But I had never experienced anything like that in my life.

[Dax Shepard]

My favorite part is when you're telling this story in the book. You tell the organizer, they say, are you okay? And you're like, oh, yeah, I had a really bad fever today, but I didn't want to cancel, turn myself into a hero.

[Chelsea Handler]

Yeah.

[Dax Shepard]

You start shooting your Netflix show shortly thereafter, and you decide you can't really even stand during the monologue. You need to go sit behind the desk for the monologue.

[Chelsea Handler]

Yeah, the leg syndrome kept happening. Eventually, I think someone told me about beta blockers and that nipped that in the bud because you take those for like a week and then it gets it out of your system.

[Dax Shepard]

Kristin uses them every time she performs.

[Chelsea Handler]

They're great. So that Was okay. But obviously, if you're having those issues, something deeper is happening. And I think that's what happens at some point between 40 and 50. That's why they call it a midlife crisis, because you do. You have to do some introspection at that time in your life if you haven't done any before.

[Dax Shepard]

Yeah, you're in a business, too, that devalues your age and wisdom, and so then that becomes a new thing.

[Chelsea Handler]

This business is so toxic in the sense that there's a desperation around everyone. You know, everyone wants to remain relevant, and everyone wants to be seen or thought of in a certain way. It's an infection, and you get the infection, and then that starts fucking with your confidence. And if you have success, success, success, and then you have something that's not. It's almost like you just don't know what to do with that. You can't handle the idea of you not being successful.

[Dax Shepard]

Well, for me, I can't speak for you. But also, there's a voice in my head. From day one, it's like, the ride's gonna be over soon. It ends for everyone. It's gonna end. And then. So one hiccup is like, yep, here it is. The ride's over. I knew it was gonna be over. I was waiting for this.

[Chelsea Handler]

This is my downfall. Lose everything. I can't afford my house. I can't afford this. Where's the money coming from? Da, da, da, da, da. And then when you are able to work through all of those ugly emotions and thoughts about yourself, you get to the other side. What you're saying about turning 50, you're like, to understand that I belong right where I stand, and that voice is not the real voice. And it's your job to quiet that voice and get in touch with the real voice of who you are.

[Dax Shepard]

You and I are on a really parallel journey. So I entered therapy about the exact same time in a real, real way. And by the way, our therapists are telling us very similar things. As I'm reading your story, I just can't shake this financial insecurity. It's like, it doesn't matter how much I squirrel away. I'm still panicked. And the more I get, I kind of am even more panicked. And I recognize it's insanity, but it doesn't have any effect on how I feel about it. And he said, well, I'm not even going to suggest. It's not going to all go away. What I'm going to say is, don't you recognize you're the type of person who can tackle problems as they arise. How could that go away from you? That's the thing that can't be taken. And you have shown you have that skill set. So, yeah, if something comes up, guess what? You're the dude that can handle that. That's kind of true. I might let that in just a little bit.

[Chelsea Handler]

Isn't it funny that we need someone else to. Someone who doesn't even really know us, has to be like, hey, you're the reason you got yourself here.

[Monica Padman]

We don't trust ourselves. If we try to say it, it's not a trustworthy source.

[Chelsea Handler]

I want every young person to feel seen. I want every young person to feel confident. I want to infuse that, because I know I have a lot of that. And for the period of time where I wasn't sure of it, it was useful to get to the place, to understand, oh, this is real confidence. This isn't. This isn't just bravado.

[Dax Shepard]

This is bedrock.

[Chelsea Handler]

This is better confidence than what I even had before, because now I'm calm about it. I'm not trying to show off. I know what I can handle.

[Dax Shepard]

Yeah.

[Chelsea Handler]

I mean, it's all cliche, but I guess cliches are cliches because they're so fucking true. You know what I mean? There is light after dark. It's your job to find optimism in the dark. I think as human beings, especially with all the shit that goes on in our country and the last decade, it's been so crazy. And when you talk about time, you're like, did every generation feel this way? People talk about how the 60s and 70s were so great. It's like, well, yeah, but the races. It was way worse than it is now. So how can you say that was great?

[Dax Shepard]

Yeah, it's what you wanna focus on.

[Chelsea Handler]

It is what you wanna focus on. And one of the biggest things to remember is there's this book I love reading called Letting Go by David Hawkins. Have you ever read that?

[Dax Shepard]

I haven't.

[Chelsea Handler]

Oh, you should read that.

[Dax Shepard]

Okay.

[Chelsea Handler]

It's metaphysical. It's deep. There can be famine, there can be war, There can be devastation. And really there are people who survive and thrive in that, not because of it, but in spite of it. They are able to look at their lives and be like, I'm gonna figure out my way, how to live through this in a powerful and fruitful way. I'm gonna make the most of this, even though the situation around me sucks. And I think that's really powerful to remember. Just because the world is on fire doesn't mean that you have to be on fire.

[Dax Shepard]

Yeah. I saw this dude speak a few months ago and he had a slideshow presentation and his thread was kind of optimism. And he showed a picture of Dresden in World War II. There's nothing there but rubble. He's like, we wiped this city off of the face of the earth. Here it is today. Here's London, here, here's Rome. After this. He's like, yes, we create great catastrophes, but we always come back.

[Chelsea Handler]

Yeah.

[Dax Shepard]

If there's anything to know, magically, we do rebuild. You can't point to the city that got leveled, that stayed level. And I was like, yeah, much bigger shit has gone down that we have recovered from. And it was a cool message. Now, what was my favorite story in the book? And we're kind of talking about it. It starts with the shaky legs, and it starts with this period of kind of questioning. And then this is great. I just want to flag. One moment you have a girlfriend over who's crying for three hours at your house because she got a terrible haircut. And at one point you say to her, listen, you can't be one of these people who is so consumed with the way they look. It's fucking hair. And as you're screaming it, you have gotten CO2LASIK and you can't leave your house for 10 days. Stay tuned for more armchair experts, if you dare. We are supported by the Lenovo Yoga Aura Edition imagined with Intel. You know, we love chatting and learning about AI here on the show. With the incredible advances in tech and AI over the last couple of years, you need a laptop that can keep up. Great news. Lenovo and intel have joined forces to engineer the best laptops in the industry. The Lenovo Yoga Aura Edition is an impossibly thin, light laptop. It can go wherever you do. Plus, the battery automatically optimizes for efficiency so you can go longer without a charge. No more hunting for outlets at a coffee shop. It also has a fully equipped touchscreen with bold, popping visuals that retain accuracy across your projects. It's perfect for digital artists, designers, amateur photographers, and more. Even movie lovers will love watching this because you don't just want your technology to work, you want it to help elevate your work to places you never expected. It's possible on your Intel AI PC. Learn more about Lenovo Aura Edition AI [e-mail] Aura we are supported by Quints. You know, Kristen's been ordering a ton from Quint.

[Monica Padman]

Quince is amazing.

[Dax Shepard]

Yeah. And I told her I go, you know, they're a sponsor. And she, she couldn't believe it. Being stylish and comfortable allows you to feel your making you ready to tackle anything that comes your way. That's where Quince comes in.

[Monica Padman]

I was just in the house and our friend Anna, she had borrowed a sweater for me. It's blue and it's from Quince. It's gorgeous and it fits so well. And when she was wearing it, I was like, I want it back.

[Dax Shepard]

Of course, that's a sign of a great item when you regret loaning it out. There's no better workout motivation than some new activewear. Quince's performance tees and tech shorts are perfect for any movement. And if your work wardrobe needs a revamp, you can't go wrong with their Mongolian cashmere sweaters, which start at just 60 doll. They're able to offer such affordable prices by partnering directly with top factories, cutting out the cost of the middleman. Then they pass those savings on to us. Indulge in affordable luxury. Go to quince.comdax for 365 day returns plus free shipping on your order. That's Q-U-I-N-C-E.comdax to get free shipping and 365 day returns. Quince.comdax we are supported by Nordic Naturals. I love that name. Let's just start with the name. Nordic.

[Monica Padman]

Great name. I also love these products.

[Dax Shepard]

You're in love with them?

[Monica Padman]

Yes. I already went through an entire magnesium.

[Dax Shepard]

You did? You blasted through?

[Monica Padman]

I blasted through. And a vitamin C. Well, did you.

[Dax Shepard]

Know that more than 80% of Americans don't get enough omega 3 fats from their diet? Count me in. That. Yeah, we know that Nordic Naturals Ultimate Omega is trusted by doctors and healthcare professionals to deliver foundational omega 3 fatty acids support for heart, brain, joint and mood health, immune system function and much more. Their best selling Ultimate Omega fish oil provides concentrated Omega 3 support in an exceptionally fresh and pure formula without any fishy aftertaste. And if fish isn't your thing, their new Ultimate Omega plant based soft gels deliver over a thousand milligrams of concentrated omega 3s derived from algae. That's a much higher daily dose than most vegetarian options. Supercharge your nutrition with Nordic Natural Naturals. Use promo code DAX for 15 off your next order at nordic.com and experience the Nordic Naturals difference yourself. That's nordic.com and promo code DAX for 15 off. But you went through this phase where you kind of started shutting up. A little more and listening a little more. And it was even scary to the people around you. And I want you to tell me about that and what's on the other side of that.

[Chelsea Handler]

I look at therapy now that I'm out of it. I mean, I have a therapist, but that was a very intense two year period when I did go to therapy. And I look at therapy as like, you know how there's the school year and then the summer break. The summer break serves as a time to absorb everything you learned in the school year. So you go to therapy. And my intention was never to be in long term therapy. It was like, I want to go incrementally. I didn't know it was going to be two years. Someone had told me that I probably, probably would have been like, fuck off. I'll just figure out how I'm gonna.

[Monica Padman]

Get that doing without that.

[Dax Shepard]

Well, it's two years for normal people. I'll have this handled in four months. Todd.

[Chelsea Handler]

Exactly. Like, let's fast forward this track. But you go through therapy and then you have all this information. You have to absorb all the information that you've gleaned and then you have to apply it.

[Monica Padman]

Yes, practice.

[Chelsea Handler]

So you have to put it into your life. And I didn't wanna be one of these codependent people who was calling my therapist anytime I had a decision to make. I needed to know how to trust my knowingness and my intuition and the things that I have naturally, organically that we all. So the period after I was done with therapy, I was so kind of confused about all the things that I learned about myself. So when he was like, you know, you don't have to insert yourself, you don't have to be the life of the party. These are not your responsibilities. People aren't just hanging out with you because you're fun. It's like, well, a lot of them are. You know what I mean? A lot of them are hanging out with me because I was fun. So going to places and really withdrawing and being quiet and still and not drinking and not embarrassing imbibing in stuff that I would normally imbibe in because I just really wanted a better view of the things. People were like, what is your problem? You are boring. And that would fuck with me.

[Monica Padman]

Yeah. Were you like, I was right the whole time.

[Chelsea Handler]

I was like, oh God, maybe I am boring. But I had to stick with it because I don't know what's on the other side of this. And then eventually you realize you take all the things and the self awareness that you gained and you apply it to the best parts of your personality so that you come out as a better version, like a 2.0. You're like, okay, I got this now. But that's a process. That was like two years after therapy where I finally clicked back into who I am. I was vacillating back and forth, like auditioning new versions of myself to see which one was real. Okay, am I being real right now or am I being performative? Am I acting like I'm listening or am I listening? You know, like all of that shit?

[Dax Shepard]

Sure, sure, sure. My formula, my next incredible joke.

[Chelsea Handler]

Yeah, exactly. I remember being in school as a young girl, third grade, and I would just be waiting for the moment that I could insert myself to make a funny joke. I was like, okay, I'm gonna do it.

[Dax Shepard]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Chelsea Handler]

Five seconds. I'm gonna say this.

[Dax Shepard]

You're like a running back looking for.

[Chelsea Handler]

A. I want everyone to know I'm funny. And as soon as I say this, they're gonna know. And then I'll be the funny one.

[Monica Padman]

Yeah.

[Dax Shepard]

And in your mind, that'll be permanent. But no, five minutes later, you gotta remind them.

[Chelsea Handler]

Yeah. That's like a hamster on a wheel.

[Monica Padman]

Yeah.

[Chelsea Handler]

It's exhausting. So I had to really recalibrate all of that stuff. And now I'm so glad I went through that. But if somebody had told me it was not a two year process, a four to six year process, really, from start to finish, that would have been not appealing.

[Dax Shepard]

You were saved by your ignorance.

[Chelsea Handler]

Absolutely. I have a thing where if the vibe isn't high, then I need to make it high.

[Dax Shepard]

Yeah.

[Monica Padman]

Because what will happen if not because it's boring.

[Chelsea Handler]

This is a good example. I had my nieces for a week. I had two of my nieces and my cousin's daughter. She's 13 and my two nieces are 19, 22. And we skied a lot. We had dinners at home, we went out to dinners. There was plenty of action. And then the down times at the house were also nice. Cause there was a nice balance. We'd ski, then we'd come home and we'd watch something appropriate like a family porn or something. And then on the last day, we didn't ski. Everyone was kind of tired. We were leaving for Vancouver that night and it was just a very mellow vibe. Perfectly fine. But after about three hours of that, I was like, I'm gonna have to step up the energy here. If they weren't there, I would have gone into bed and Just made it a TV day for myself. I was just kind of tired, but I was like, if I don't create the vibe, the vibe isn't happening. So then I was like, okay, girls. And we ended up having a great day. We drove to Vancouver. We had a fun time. We had my dog. We went up to dim sum. We did all this fun stuff. But that's what I do. If I feel like I'm in the mix of something that isn't going well, there's a responsibility to raise the bar.

[Dax Shepard]

So I do, too. But I think for me, under that is some fear that if I let this vibe continue to be this way, something bad's gonna happen.

[Chelsea Handler]

If there's a lull at a dinner and no one's talking, I will be the person to start the conversation. And I'm always like, wait, don't jump in.

[Monica Padman]

Jump in.

[Chelsea Handler]

Let someone else take it. And usually no one will because you're.

[Dax Shepard]

There and I'm there.

[Monica Padman]

And also, maybe they like it. You said, if it's not going well. But that's your version of it.

[Chelsea Handler]

But I'm like, well, wait. I need everyone to have a good time around me. It has to be a great report when you get back to your parents. Like, oh, my God, I had the best time with Chelsea. Of course you did.

[Dax Shepard]

You know, I didn't think that good of a time was possible.

[Chelsea Handler]

Yeah. I mean, my biggest compliment is when people are always like, you're fun. I want to ski with you. You want people's takeaway to be like, oh, that was fun. So to have to put that to rest and be like, no, no, no, it's okay. You don't have to be the most fun person. It is a battle.

[Dax Shepard]

Yeah. It's hard.

[Monica Padman]

It's so funny, because that's your identity marker of what you think is the most important. I don't care if people say I'm fun at all. That would not be the thing I chose. Someone would leave my house and say, and they won't. That's probably not the thing they're gonna say about me.

[Dax Shepard]

You want them to say, you have great taste?

[Monica Padman]

No. God, no.

[Dax Shepard]

I'm wondering.

[Monica Padman]

I think I would want. That was an intimate time.

[Dax Shepard]

Oh.

[Monica Padman]

Not like sexually.

[Dax Shepard]

No, No. I don't think that.

[Monica Padman]

Okay. We had a real time connecting.

[Dax Shepard]

Absolutely.

[Chelsea Handler]

I value that. And to piggyback on what you were like, I do value that. I value that when I get that from people, and I value that when that's my experience. But if there's someone that is more fun than me. I have a friend in Whistler. Her name is Ange. There's a chapter about her in my book, actually. Cause I decided somebody needed to tribute her. She's crazy, she's wild, she's fun, and she's always the center of attention. And I love being around her because she guarantees a good time.

[Dax Shepard]

Right. You can trust her.

[Chelsea Handler]

I can trust her with the reins because I know she's got it. And that brings me a lot of comfort because I don't have to work at all.

[Dax Shepard]

Yeah.

[Chelsea Handler]

Yeah.

[Dax Shepard]

And it's fun.

[Chelsea Handler]

Do you have that?

[Dax Shepard]

Our friend Jess, if he's there, I'm like, oh, yeah. It's on his shoulders and he'll deliver.

[Monica Padman]

It is so funny because when I first met Jess, and I would say I probably felt this being around you at first where I'm, like, scared. I'm scared of that energy.

[Chelsea Handler]

I know. I think a lot of people are.

[Monica Padman]

It feels unpredictable.

[Chelsea Handler]

People tell me all the time they're.

[Monica Padman]

Scared of me, but I don't think that anymore. Of course, within minutes of knowing you, you don't feel like that. But when someone is so on and good at being on and people get.

[Chelsea Handler]

Intimidated, for sure, especially even my friend Ange, People are like, oh, it's too much. And I'm like, it's only too much if it puts you off balance.

[Dax Shepard]

Well, that's actually a gift because I have been listening to someone that's too much, and I've gone, oh, yeah, that's how you sound a lot to people. I'm pretty forthcoming with the crack smoking and the fights and the crimes and the sex. And I think I've established the bar that, you know, it's fine. But then I'll be around someone that's above my comfort zone. I'll go, like, it's good to experience this. I know what they feel like. It's just too much.

[Chelsea Handler]

Yeah.

[Dax Shepard]

In the woman up story, you talk about at least taking a break from weed at some point. I always like to check in with your drug and addict.

[Chelsea Handler]

I know, I know, I know. I love it.

[Dax Shepard]

Okay, good.

[Chelsea Handler]

He's always waiting for me to get sober.

[Dax Shepard]

I want to make sure you don't ever feel like I'm curious in a.

[Chelsea Handler]

Judgmental way at all.

[Dax Shepard]

I look at you in the way I worship Jack Nicholson. I'm like, that guy's still banging rails at that age. And he kept it on the track.

[Chelsea Handler]

Is he still banging?

[Dax Shepard]

I mean, I don't know.

[Chelsea Handler]

I wouldn't say that Jack Nicholson has kept it on track. Have you seen him recently?

[Dax Shepard]

Well, that motherfucker's 80 something.

[Chelsea Handler]

It's not like he's crushing it. At 80 something years.

[Dax Shepard]

He doesn't look like Clint Eastwood.

[Chelsea Handler]

He looks like a gremlin.

[Dax Shepard]

I haven't seen him. Did see a photo of him still. It was a decade old. He's probably in his 70s. And it appeared that he had a coke donut on his. I don't know, it looked like he had the devil's dandruff all over his nose at a red carpet. I don't know. That's just my assumption. Maybe he was doing his vitamins at all. But he fascinates me. I'm like, it's hard to go that hard and keep it on the rails for that long.

[Monica Padman]

You mean on the rails as in alive and eyes open?

[Dax Shepard]

He's not in jail. He hasn't had to go to treatment. People that work with him aren't put out by being around him. He's a high functioning party animal. Yes, that blows my mind. So I have the same curiosity about you, of course. So I always like to check in on it. And then I saw the woman up story and I thought, well, now I'm invited to ask you about it.

[Chelsea Handler]

My relationship with drugs and alcohol. Well, I don't really do cocaine. I have done plenty in my life, but I don't know when the last time I've done cocaine was. Probably when fentanyl came on the scene. But I'm always open to drugs and alcohol. As long as you don't lose your shit. As long as you are not sloppy. Gross. I can go out to dinner and have a drink. I can go out to dinner and have three drinks. I can go out to dinner and have no drinks. The times where I've overdone it or where I've acted badly. Like the Jane Fonda story.

[Dax Shepard]

Yeah. I want you to tell that I.

[Chelsea Handler]

Was definitely on drugs at that party. I don't remember what drugs. Probably coke or who knows, something that would make me angry. So probably coke because any other drug that I would use wouldn't do that. And that was probably 20 years ago, 15 years ago.

[Dax Shepard]

To me it sounds like your alarm bell is like when you recognize it's habitual, you're doing it mindlessly and it's just happening. You didn't really even decide to do it or not decide to do it mindlessly.

[Chelsea Handler]

And as a default where you're partying all the time, you got to reel it in. Otherwise you're going to have to give it up. And I don't want to have to give it up. So in the times where I have to take breaks, you know, drinking mindfully is a completely different philosophy than going out to a bar and not thinking. It's just like eating mindfully. You're like, do I want another drink? Not really. Or do I want another drink? Okay, great. Do I feel in control of myself? Do I feel like I'm getting too buzzed? Am I too drunk? Where am I assessing it? Like, mindfully doing anything. So that was a big help when I went through therapy. Identifying why you're doing something, when you're doing something. And is it habitual and is it something that you are able to stop easily? I'm always kind of in check with myself. I get very grossed out, and this could be projection by people who are not able to control their drug and alcohol intake. I get icked by that. It makes me feel very unsafe because I'm pretty solid. I don't get wasted. I have been. Of course, there are times where I get drunk, but that's not really what I do anymore.

[Dax Shepard]

Do you think as you're getting older, it's getting less.

[Chelsea Handler]

It's less appealing?

[Dax Shepard]

Yeah. And the call to it is maybe quieter.

[Chelsea Handler]

It's not a default. Whereas before, it's like, oh, we're going out to dinner. I'm gonna have two or three drinks.

[Monica Padman]

Yeah, it's like, obvious now.

[Chelsea Handler]

If you go out to dinner, you're like, do I wanna feel like that tomorrow if I'm preparing for something, I don't drink. I wanna be healthy. And if I need mental clarity, I won't drink for a while. Or if I'm alone. I don't really like to do that. I'm more of a social drinker. I don't sit at home and drink by myself. I will smoke pop by myself.

[Dax Shepard]

The pop thing's really interesting. Obviously, I think it's way better than someone drinking habitually. We know it's much better for you. But I do think the one thing to watch out for with weed is that it is so innocuous. It's not like you're ever gonna embarrass yourself on it. The red flags don't pop up. And I think it's easy for it to become, as you're saying, just like a default thing you do mindlessly.

[Chelsea Handler]

Well, I think with any drug. Listen, I also microdose much. Mushrooms, acid. I do everything like that. I love that stuff. The thing about weed is a. The high you get when you smoke it sporadically versus the high you get when you smoke it daily are two completely different things, right? It's like doing coke for the first time and then you're doing it every day for. It's not the same thing. You're not getting that same high where you're chatty and you're fun and it's a great time. So the same applies to everything. Same applies to drinking. Same applies to weed. So for weed, you get stupid. And I've been down that road in Covid. I was locked in my house for, like, three weeks. I'm like, great. I get up, do mushrooms, smoke weed, read books. I was like, this is a fucking great party.

[Dax Shepard]

Remember nothing.

[Chelsea Handler]

And then I'd be going to the refrigerator like 14 times in a row, waiting for something new to arrive, right? Or for the ingredients to somehow magically combine with each other and make some amazing. But it's self evaluation. You're like, I'm feeling pretty stupid right now. I'm feeling pretty forgetful. I'm abusing weed. Forget it. And so now I have to take a break now. If I smoke, it's at night before I go to bed. You kind of always have to be aware of what you're taking in if you don't ever want to have to give something up. If someone said you could never drink again, I would be so bummed. Yeah, I know, but it's not insurmountable. I would be like, okay, well, can I do anything else? And if they said, no, you couldn't do anything else, then I would be like, well, this fucking blows.

[Dax Shepard]

Until I said in my AA voice, you don't have to do that forever. You just have to do that today. And if you think about not doing any of that stuff today, that's not a whoop. And then tomorrow, if you go, no, it's only a whoop when you think, I'm never doing it again. The finality of it is the mountain. Today is no big deal for anyone. You don't have to do shit today, and that's fine. You can get fucked up tomorrow. Great. Then tomorrow I go, you're not getting fucked up today, but tomorrow. That's how you can get 40 years of it. But yes, I've had guys go, like, you know, am I not going to have a beer with my son when he turns 20? And I'm like, a, you don't have a son yet. B, sure, you can have a beer with your son when he's 21, but he's not today. Right. The things we think we're gonna miss. It's like, when I retire, I'm not gonna be able to pop some champagne. It's like, no, fine. When you fucking retire, you don't even have a job yet.

[Chelsea Handler]

And it's also an unhealthy attachment to things. You have to test yourself if you're someone like me who could easily go down the road of abuse. You know, we do these bike rides in Mallorca and I, like, I have lots of friends that come and stay at my. And we do these massive bike rides, right? We go to these long, beautiful lunches and we all drink sangria. And then we get on our bikes, we ride back to my house, and it's sometimes two, three hour bike rides. They're on e bikes. So don't get.

[Dax Shepard]

Don't get too horny.

[Chelsea Handler]

I don't want people to think, yeah, I don't want people to get too horny things. One day I remember being like, I've been here for a month and basically this is what we're doing every day. Well, maybe today I'm going to go to lunch and not have sangria, just to see if that's going to be an issue for me. And then you go and you. And you're like, okay, that's good. You have to kind of check in. Be conscious about your intake of drugs and alcohol. If you're someone who likes them and I like them, I want to respect them.

[Monica Padman]

I'm in the exact same boat. I am currently not drinking Monday through Thursdays. When you say anyone can do one day, that's not true for me because it does become habitual.

[Chelsea Handler]

It's a habit.

[Monica Padman]

That is actually the part that's hard. Once I've hit two weeks, I could never drink again.

[Chelsea Handler]

Yes.

[Monica Padman]

Why can't I just go right now and have a glass of wine and doodle around in my journal? I want to be able to do that. You know, it starts becoming a whole.

[Dax Shepard]

What's ironic is you start feeling controlled by the absence of the thing that's actually controlling you. It is a mental loop. You feel controlled by not being able to do something. But even the notion that you would have to do that would imply on some level, you're already controlled by it. Look, I'm the biggest pro drinking. Everyone should do it until they can't do it, in my opinion.

[Chelsea Handler]

And the other side of it is everyone thinks habits are so hard to break. I really disagree. I think you can create a new habit, and people say it's 28 days. I think you can create new habits in three to four days. If you're not an addict. If you're an addict, then yes. If you never meditated before in your life and you're like, okay, I'm gonna meditate for five days, five minutes every morning, that's it. On the sixth day, you're gonna wanna meditate. It's much quicker than people think. We're so powerful in our choices and decision making.

[Dax Shepard]

You also just learn about your unique makeup. So for me, people will go, how often do you work out? And I go, seven days a week. And they're like, that's crazy. And I go, sure it is. But it's harder for me to work out three days a week than it is seven days a week. Because if I have a day off, I don't wanna work.

[Chelsea Handler]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Dax Shepard]

If I don't have a day out, I don't even think about it. It's like I wake up and I go to the sink for an hour, and that's what I do when I wake up. But to give me a day off and then I start fearing having to do it again, that's way, way harder for me. And that's me. That's how I work best.

[Chelsea Handler]

My sister was here a few weeks ago, and we were out to dinner with our friend, and we went to this restaurant, and they only served beer and wine, and I hate beer, and I hate wine. I only like cocktails. And so I was like, all right, I'll have a ginger ale. And my sister's like, what? A ginger ale? She's like, I haven't seen you order a ginger ale at dinner since we were kids. And I was like, I don't like beer and wine. I'm not going to just drink anything.

[Dax Shepard]

I don't need the alcohol bad enough to consume something I don't like.

[Chelsea Handler]

She's like, I just always thought you want, you know. And I'm like, well, yeah, but not like that. I don't have to shove alcohol in my system totally to get through the dinner. So it's funny the way you are perceived and the way you perceive yourself. Also, I understand. Everyone knows I party and I drink. I'm very outspoken about it. But to hear it from my sister in that way, I was like, yeah, it's fine. And she's like, oh, that is funny. Like, I thought you would just be desperate and have to have a glass of wine.

[Dax Shepard]

Scratching yourself, pacing in between bites. There are a couple stories I want to get to from the Book before we're out of time. I think the Jane Fonda one's great because. Backstory. We interviewed her about a year or two. A year and a half ago. Two years ago, as you would expect, I just fell insanely in love with her.

[Chelsea Handler]

Yeah.

[Dax Shepard]

I'm like, if I were single, I would marry you and be with you till the end. I'm in love with you. But you have a little story about her confronting you. And I thought that was a really cool thing to share. And it made me like her. Of course, even. Even more.

[Chelsea Handler]

She confronted me with regard to what we're talking about, overdoing it with drugs and alcohol. I was at one of her birthday parties. She summoned me to her house, kind of, and we had dinner. It was just the two of us.

[Dax Shepard]

You knew you were in trouble. Cause the email was Kurt. It was like, get over here. Basically.

[Chelsea Handler]

Yeah. And I was like, okay, it's Jane Fonda. I have to go to her house. And she told me, your behavior was really bad at this party. You offended a lot of people. You had a very dark cloud of energy around your house.

[Dax Shepard]

You kind of ruined the party.

[Chelsea Handler]

Yeah.

[Monica Padman]

Oh, geez.

[Chelsea Handler]

And I had just started therapy, so luckily I had just enough information to know not to defend, not to be like, well, it was because of this or because I took this, or it was because of this person. There are no excuses. All I had to do was say, oh, my God, I'm so sorry. It was mortifying that she said this, but in that moment, I also just respected her so much for taking the time to sit down with me and tell me.

[Dax Shepard]

She's also saying, I love you.

[Chelsea Handler]

Yeah.

[Dax Shepard]

Because if I didn't, I don't need to have this awkward fucking conversation. Yeah.

[Chelsea Handler]

She could have blown me off and never hung out with you.

[Dax Shepard]

If you're one of the many people and you're a piece of shit, you're just not coming to my party again. She has to care about you deeply to go through that.

[Chelsea Handler]

Thank you so much, A, for telling me this. You will never have to talk to me again about this. This is gonna be the first time, is gonna be the last time, and to this day, we still talk about it because she's in the book, and there's a chapter at the end of the book which is kind of like a full circle moment where she asked me to fly from Whistler to this event that she did, and it was disruptive to my whole winter, but I was like, I have to show up for this woman. I owe a as Just a woman. I owe her so much. And B, because of what she did for me, because she set the tone for me in my relationships with my friends moving forward. Because I wanted to be what she was to me, to other women. I wanted to tell people the truth, even when it's hard, even when it's a difficult conversation. There is a deficit of truth in this industry and this town and the way that people communicate. And I want to be the person that when you ask me a question, I am giving you an honest answer. Even if it's hurtful, not just doling it out unsolicited.

[Dax Shepard]

Well, I think you can really delineate whether you're doing it because you love someone, wanna help them, or you wanna shame them. Yeah. And if you wanna shame them. Cause you're actually just resentful that you fucked up my party and now I wanna shame you. That's not truth that we need you to have.

[Chelsea Handler]

Yes. Right.

[Dax Shepard]

But hey, I love you. You're better than this. Let me remind you of that. Is very pure.

[Chelsea Handler]

It was a light bulb moment, and I'll never forget it. And it really shaped the kind of woman that I am. You know, the woman that I've always wanted to be was somebody who isn't full of shit, who isn't gonna lie and cheat. I wanted to be up front and be direct. I find that to be one of the most attractive qualities in other people, when they can be direct, not squirrely. And I remember I left her dinner that night, and I was so horrified. And I went to my girlfriend's house. She had been with me at the party, and she's like, don't fucking listen to Jane Fonda. That's what she said. She goes, why are you listening to her? I go, I'm gonna listen to Jane Fonda.

[Dax Shepard]

I'm even gonna argue that the gif is that. I'm guessing she might have been the only person I could have told.

[Chelsea Handler]

Yes.

[Dax Shepard]

And she might have known that.

[Chelsea Handler]

She's fucking awesome. We were campaigning with her a few months before the election. We went to Albuquerque, and that worked out great.

[Dax Shepard]

Good job, guys.

[Monica Padman]

Yeah.

[Chelsea Handler]

Thank you. Thank you. I was with Connie Britton, and she And I flew. And Jane was like, can you come and do this for her climate pack? We're going to Albuquerque. And I was like, of course. And then we got the flight. And she's like, okay, it's Southwest flight. And I'm like, southwest? I was like, wait, what? I was like, why? Are we. Are we. Is Jane Fonda flying Southwest can you imagine?

[Dax Shepard]

Imagine getting to your middle seat and Jane Konda's there.

[Chelsea Handler]

And I'm like, connie, are we flying southwest? And she's like, I think we have to. Jade's flying southwest. And I was like, okay. I was like, all right. You know, I'm gonna be a team player. We get to Albuquerque and we're staying at an airport something or other, Hilton. And I was like, oh, I don't know about this at all. And Connie's looking up these resorts. She found this boutique hotel out in Albuquerque. And she's like, what about if we stayed here? And I was like, well, I don't know. Can we do that? Can we just get the. And just tell her we're leaving? And I was like, I don't think we do any of this. I'm like, I think we just suck it up and we go and do whatever Jane wants.

[Dax Shepard]

Would love if you all checked into the shit box, though, and then put her in her room. Good night. Z in the morning, went to the.

[Chelsea Handler]

Thing, and we fly out of Burbank, out of the Southwest terminal. I'm like. And then I'm thinking, if she's going, we get there, and every single fucking person is coming up to Jane Fonda. I can't believe what a badass she is that she just fucking does this shit she wants. Walks along and she's 87.

[Dax Shepard]

89.

[Monica Padman]

Wild.

[Chelsea Handler]

Is she 89 now?

[Dax Shepard]

Yeah.

[Chelsea Handler]

Oh, she just turned 89. Do you know that she makes like 200 phone calls a day on behalf of her climate pack? I'm always in awe of her. I can't think of anyone I respect more, actually.

[Dax Shepard]

Yeah, I'm with you. She might be the greatest of all.

[Monica Padman]

Time, but I respect her in that story. But I really respect you in that story too, because you were able to take it. And I think 9.9 people out of 10 could not take it. Like you said, you had to kind of fight the urge. Yes, but most people are not fighting the urge. They are defensive. And they are also justifying to themselves a million reasons why she's wrong. And then they live the rest of their lives saying, why are you listening to Jane Fonda? So I respect you for being able to.

[Chelsea Handler]

Well, thank you. But I also wanna make this point about that interaction is if she had gotten me just a month earlier, my reaction would have been, what you're talking about. The timing was perfect because I had just started therapy, so I had enough of a kernel of self awareness to understand that defensiveness means usually that you're Wrong.

[Dax Shepard]

Right, right, right.

[Chelsea Handler]

You're right. You don't have to defend yourself.

[Dax Shepard]

You're defensive when someone says I'm too short. Exactly.

[Chelsea Handler]

There's another story in the book where I talk about the same thing. Like, I got fired from this temp job because I was temping when I came out here to try to make ends meet. I can't do any sort of office admin. I can't even transfer a phone call. I am a Luddite through and through. And I was temping and this guy called down to the front desk and was like. Like, who the fuck is that bimbo at the front desk? Let's get rid of her. And I'm like, that would be me.

[Dax Shepard]

Oh, they called you?

[Chelsea Handler]

I was like, I'm her. And you're absolutely right. I shouldn't be here. This is not my forte. I'm not gonna ever work in an office. I am never gonna succeed at this. And I also wanted to go to Starbucks and get a Frappuccino. I couldn't wait to get fucking fired. And there was one at the bottom of the building on that day where that guy talked to me in that way. I was in such a state of hopefulness and optimism about the future. Even though I was in my early 20s and I was broke and I had nothing going on career wise. I was just kind of hustling, trying to get by and figuring out what my in was gonna be into the entertainment industry. I didn't know what I was gonna do, but I had some ideas. And I remember leaving that day and being like, he's right, I don't belong here. And this is just more of an affirmation. I'm headed in the right direction. I can cross this off my list. That was another example. If he had caught me two days earlier where I wasn't feeling optimistic, where I wasn't feeling, where I was unsure of myself, I could have left that office in tears and been like, I'm worthless. I'm useless.

[Dax Shepard]

I can't even do this.

[Chelsea Handler]

The mercurial nature of us as human beings on the days where we don't feel strong and sure of ourselves and confident, those are the times to remind ourselves that this is a moment and that that strength and that confidence and that self assuredness is just around the corner and probably gonna reappear very shortly.

[Dax Shepard]

Yeah. How did you find yourself at dinner with Woody Allen and what did you.

[Chelsea Handler]

I blame Katie Couric for that and Katie Couric's version of the story, which Is so funny. We were at some dinner in New York. Katie was like, come with me to this dinner. And this was probably 15, 20 years ago, too. Probably longer. I don't know. So we go, and there's all these men at this table, and I don't know anyone. And then there's two seats across from me, and we're waiting. And I'm on the end of the table, and I'm waiting to see. Not waiting to see who's gonna be there, but just. Those were the two empty seats. And I see Woody Allen and Soon Yi walk in, and I'm like, no, I'm not gonna.

[Dax Shepard]

This is gonna be my table mates.

[Chelsea Handler]

There's no way. I cannot kiss ass. I cannot be fake. I mean, I can a little bit because I've lived in LA for now, 30 years, but I prefer not to be. I was kicking Katie under the table, and I'm like, this isn't gonna go well. I'm gonna say something. I know myself. I have outbursts. I don't know when they're gonna happen. I'm as surprised as the next person when they do happen.

[Dax Shepard]

I'm hearing it sometimes at the same time.

[Chelsea Handler]

You are? When are you. You gonna shut up? And she was like, can you not? And I was like, well, no, I definitely am gonna say something. And she said, okay, can you wait? And I was like, wait for what? And she's like, can you wait till the end of the dinner, like dessert? And I was like, oh, I've never tried waiting. That's a fun endeavor. Maybe I can try this as an experiment. And so I did. And so I had this very fraudulent conversation with him, asking him about all the movies he directed. Tried to appear interested because I'm disgusted by Woody Allen. And I had to pretend that I wasn't disgusted by him and his daughter bride. I even asked him about Annie, confusing it with Annie Hall. I was like, so, what was it like directing Annie? And he was like, I didn't direct that one. I was like, yeah, but you know about it, you sick fuck. And then it was like, the first time I had ever had to employ patience. It is a virtue. I was like, let's see if I can do this. And I waited until the end of dinner. And then the server went around and plated all of our desserts. It was BlackBerry cobbler. I'm like, I'm gonna get you now. And he went and took a bite of his BlackBerry cobbler. And I leaned in and said, so, how did you two meet? To him And Soon Yi.

[Dax Shepard]

Oh, my God.

[Chelsea Handler]

And the whole table just was like. But he was laughing. Of course he spit off. Yeah, he was chewing.

[Monica Padman]

I'm surprised he laughed.

[Chelsea Handler]

And then Katie's like, okay, it's time to go. First of all, I wanna say I slept like a fucking baby that night because I was so happy that I didn't leave that dinner. Got home and I was like, I can't believe I just sat there and smiled.

[Dax Shepard]

Cause you would have felt like you were co signing.

[Chelsea Handler]

Exactly. There's enough people in Hollywood who are fine with Woody Allen. Allen. And I'm not.

[Dax Shepard]

Side note to that, though, I have been challenging myself to say no. My silence doesn't necessarily mean I'm co signing on things because I'm the sheriff everywhere. I'm trying to be like, no, you're not complicit in everything just because you.

[Chelsea Handler]

Didn'T fucking confront it. Right.

[Dax Shepard]

This binary option you've given yourself is a little bit of a story.

[Chelsea Handler]

Well, again, that was pre therapy. There are no options. Then it's like, if I know you're either complicit in this, I'm a rapist. But when Katie told the story, I think she told it in her book. She said Chelsea seemed to have forgotten the Woody Allen and Soon Yi connection because she leaned in and asked them how they met. Katie. You think I fucking forgot?

[Monica Padman]

Oh, my God.

[Chelsea Handler]

I didn't forget. The whole point was to call him on it.

[Monica Padman]

That's so sweet.

[Chelsea Handler]

I know. Well, she knows now. We've discussed it.

[Dax Shepard]

Okay. Another question I had. Cause I'm imagining you experience this. We're both 50. We've been both doing this now employed, shockingly, for like 25 years or I don't know how long for you, but for me, coming up on that, I occasionally see some people that remind me of myself coming up that are younger than me. And I have this insatiable compulsion. I want to grab their ear and go like, hey, man, fucking stay on the horse. But relieve yourself of these couple things. Do you feel a compulsion when you identify someone that's got a similar vibe that you do, that's younger and coming up? Do you want to kind of help them avoid the seemingly unavoidable trap when.

[Chelsea Handler]

I'm needed and asked for that I'm always available?

[Monica Padman]

You're generous.

[Chelsea Handler]

Always. I don't insert myself or feel like it's necessary for me to guide them because I think everyone's kind of iteration is so different. But with a lot of those girls that are coming up, if they need to lean on me. Of course I want to help anyone. I don't even have that great of advice. My advice to everyone is to be the fuck who you are, and do not try to become anything that you're not. Authenticity is your main ingredient. If you are going to have a strong point of view and a strong sense of yourself, you are going to be limitless.

[Dax Shepard]

I guess there's just things that I wish I was able to have missed along this journey. And I just wondered if there's some potholes that you feel implored to tell these young gals who do have a point of view.

[Chelsea Handler]

Yeah. One of my best friends is a CEO of a big organization, and she always has mentors, and she's always grown up with mentors. Whenever we travel the world, she has a huge job and I go with her to a lot of things and she'll be like, oh, this is my mentor, mentor. And I'm like, mentor? I never had a mentor. I wish I had a mentor. But if I look back at my career, I don't know that I would have listened to anyone. I didn't listen to anyone ever.

[Dax Shepard]

I've never had a mentor either, but that's my failing. I never humbled myself enough to ask.

[Chelsea Handler]

Exactly.

[Dax Shepard]

I also thought it felt opportunistic. I also thought anyone that I was a drag on wouldn't want to be around me. These were all insecurities in confidence. I now have a couple mentors, and I'd say, jeff remains your mentor, but you had to be big enough to have a mentor at some point.

[Chelsea Handler]

It's an interesting question, and I wonder what I would have changed had I had anyone advising me. But again, I think with all of these personalities, you really do have to have a strong sense of who you are and what your gut is telling you, and your intuition and your intuitiveness. You have to understand what you're after. I never had a clear goal of what I was after. I just took opportunities or said, yeah, I think I'll do this now. And I just was lucky a lot of times. But I don't know if it's luck, if it's really. You're dishing out what you have to offer the world.

[Monica Padman]

Exactly.

[Dax Shepard]

And it repeats itself several times.

[Chelsea Handler]

Yeah. And also when you do have failures, that is a good thing. It doesn't feel like a good thing when it happens, but it always ends up being a good thing.

[Dax Shepard]

Yeah. Your first story is like eating shit at the Montreal Comedy Festival, which is your first huge up.

[Chelsea Handler]

And I. My Life was over. Zach Galifianakis walks me to my room, and he's like, you're gonna want to be alone now. Like, I was supposed to blow the festival up. I was, like, 26 or 27 years old, and I was the it girl, and I was the new comedian on the Just for Laughs festival, New Faces. And I was going to crush it. And I ate my asshole. Like, I ate shit. Like I had never. And I thought for sure because I was so young and so immature and so not successful yet, that that was it, that I would never, ever have another chance. And then three days later, I had a development deal at NBC. So that's how quickly my luck changed. And in this industry, as we all know, you can fall down flat on your face and you can be fine a week later.

[Dax Shepard]

It's another great book. You're a great writer. It's called I'll have what She's Having. It comes out on the most auspicious date of the year. 2. 25. 25. On your 50th birthday, Chelsea, I adore you. It's always fun. I hope we do it dozen more times. Also podcast.

[Chelsea Handler]

Podcast. Dear Chelsea Special comes out March 25th on Netflix. It's called the Feeling.

[Monica Padman]

The Feeling.

[Chelsea Handler]

The Feeling.

[Dax Shepard]

Vegas Residency.

[Chelsea Handler]

Vegas residency.

[Dax Shepard]

How does that work? Have you already begun that?

[Chelsea Handler]

Uhhuh. I perform once a month for the next two years.

[Dax Shepard]

Oh, just once a month?

[Chelsea Handler]

Once a month at the Cosmo Hotel, at the Chelsea Theater. I'm performing inside myself once a month. Chelsea handler.com. you can find dates for that.

[Dax Shepard]

Okay. When I saw residency, I'm like, there's.

[Chelsea Handler]

No way I living 200 days a year in Vegas.

[Dax Shepard]

And if so, I need to know how. That's.

[Chelsea Handler]

Do you want to do a residency? I'm like, this is the schedule. And they're like, actually, this is the schedule we had in mind. I was like, that's even better than what I had in mind.

[Dax Shepard]

Is it the same date every month?

[Chelsea Handler]

No, it's just different.

[Dax Shepard]

Okay. People should go to Chelsea handler.combook Chelsea handler.com.

[Chelsea Handler]

You can find everything you need.

[Dax Shepard]

You'll be able to navigate to all these different.

[Chelsea Handler]

I'm always updating my website, you guys.

[Dax Shepard]

Yeah, yeah. You were in the car when you pulled in. Yeah.

[Chelsea Handler]

Probably do that as soon as I leave here.

[Dax Shepard]

I adore you. I'm going to carry your hamstring compliment well into the evening.

[Chelsea Handler]

Sitting like that.

[Monica Padman]

Sometimes I wear shorts.

[Chelsea Handler]

For the next. For the next time.

[Dax Shepard]

You're Jane.

[Chelsea Handler]

She'll like that, too.

[Dax Shepard]

Okay.

[Chelsea Handler]

We've talked about the body parts. We appreciate about that.

[Dax Shepard]

Hamstrings is one of the main.

[Chelsea Handler]

Yes, definitely. Hamstrings, boys.

[Dax Shepard]

Work those hamstrings. Forget the chest. All right? Adore you. Come back.

[Chelsea Handler]

Thank you guys.

[Dax Shepard]

Love you.

[Chelsea Handler]

Love you guys.

[Dax Shepard]

Stay tuned for more Armchair Expert if you dare. We are supported by Squarespace. Maybe you've got dreams of turning your hobby into a side hustle this year or finally opening an online store. Maybe you want to share your knowledge with the world and make an online course. Squarespace is the perfect partner to take your website to the next level and help you accomplish your 20245 goals. No matter what type of site you want to build, Squarespace can help you make it. If you're starting an online store, Squarespace makes checkout seamless. Their flexible payment options, including credit cards, PayPal and Apple Pay, make it easy for your customers to check out. And Squarespace has all the tools you need to create and sell your own online course. Start with a layout that fits your brand. Upload videos and customize everything with next generation editing technology. Create engaging lessons your audience will love. Then add a paywall and set the price. Take what you know and turn it into income. We use Squarespace to make our lovely website incredible. And it functions.

[Monica Padman]

It's pretty, it's effective, it's efficient and highly functional.

[Dax Shepard]

Yes. Head to squarespace.com for a free trial and when you're ready to get started, go to squarespace.comdax to save 10% off your first purchase of a website or domain. That's squarespace.com dax to get started today. We are supported by Better Help. We often hear about the red flags we should avoid, but what if we focus more on looking for green flags in friends and partners? What I've said in the past where it's like it's better to bond over the love of a band with somebody than the hatred of something.

[Monica Padman]

Yeah, yeah.

[Dax Shepard]

Look for the positive. Whether you're dating, married, building a friendship, or just working on yourself, it's time to form relationships that love you back. And if you're not sure what green flags you should look for, therapy can help you identify them, actively practice finding them, and even help you bring that green flag energy into your relationship with yourself. BetterHelp is fully online, which helps make therapy affordable and convenient, serving over 5 million people worldwide. Access a diverse network of more than 30,000 credentialed therapists with a wide range of specialties. Discover your relationship green flags with better help. Visit betterhelp.comdax today to get 10% off off your first month. That's BetterHelp. H-E-L-P.comdax we are supported by Skims. You know, I was just in my skims tank top last night taking a little snooze.

[Monica Padman]

Wasn't it so cozy. Everything is so soft and so comfortable and so cute. You know, I have a bunch of their products I've, I've acquired over the years and I love them all. All for different occasions. The bras are really something special because it's really hard to find a good comfortable bra that' chic and they have a really good one. The Fits Everybody T shirt bra. It really does fit everybody. I have gifted this and big hit. It's a big hit and I wear.

[Dax Shepard]

The tank tops when I go to sleep. I couldn't be happier. Shop Skims Best intimates including the fits everybody collection and [e-mail] and skim stores. After you place your order, be sure to let them know we sent you select podcast in the survey and select our show in the drop down menu. Menu that follows. And if you're looking for the perfect gift for your valentine or for yourself, Skims just launched their best valentine shop ever available in sizes for women, men, kids and even pets. Stay tuned for the fact check so you can hear all the facts that were wrong.

[Kristen Bell]

Hello.

[Dax Shepard]

Hi. We just completed Easter egg.

[Monica Padman]

We just completed a big interview. We're not going say we're gonna be so elusive.

[Dax Shepard]

Should we have pretended I just came from an event?

[Monica Padman]

You dressed up for this guest.

[Dax Shepard]

Yeah.

[Monica Padman]

And the last time you did that was.

[Dax Shepard]

I think I've only worn a suit one other time. I thought it was Bill Gates.

[Monica Padman]

Yeah, yeah.

[Dax Shepard]

Remember, I won't wear a suit for Letterman when I get invited to his dinner party.

[Monica Padman]

Oh yeah.

[Dax Shepard]

Remember?

[Monica Padman]

Oh, yeah. Okay. Very mixed message. We just finished recording an episode that will be out in a few weeks. So you have to wait. You have to be so patient to.

[Dax Shepard]

See who I wor suit for.

[Monica Padman]

Who did Dax wear a suit for?

[Dax Shepard]

And is that your very favorite top? Did you knew it's new.

[Monica Padman]

Yeah.

[Dax Shepard]

And is it the one you were feeling most bullish like? I guess what I'm asking is did you save it?

[Monica Padman]

I consider wearing it yesterday. We had it also a great interview yesterday.

[Dax Shepard]

Yeah. Really, really fun yesterday.

[Monica Padman]

And so I was considering wearing it then. And then I decided to hold off.

[Dax Shepard]

Whole day for today.

[Monica Padman]

I mean obviously we'll talk more about that episode on. On that episode. It was a big one and it was A long time coming.

[Dax Shepard]

Oh, I have an update.

[Monica Padman]

Okay.

[Dax Shepard]

So, yeah, we recorded yesterday. And when I went to go in the sauna after work.

[Monica Padman]

Yeah.

[Dax Shepard]

I took off my clothes in the kitchen and put on my bathing suit.

[Monica Padman]

Sure.

[Dax Shepard]

It was downstairs. And I want to go upstairs. And as I took my pants off, I realize. Oh, you're wearing two pairs of underwear.

[Monica Padman]

Oh, my.

[Dax Shepard]

So yesterday in that interview, I was wearing two pairs of underwear.

[Monica Padman]

Ah, interesting.

[Dax Shepard]

This may not shock you. It was the same mysterious pair of underwear.

[Monica Padman]

The elephants.

[Dax Shepard]

The elephants. So the elephants are. There's something going on with this pair of panties. So what had happened was the night before I took off my pants.

[Monica Padman]

Yeah.

[Dax Shepard]

And I had worn boxers that day.

[Monica Padman]

Okay.

[Dax Shepard]

So I hung up my pants on a hook in my closet. And then in the morning, I was like scrambling to get ready, take the girls. And I put on. I grabbed a pair of fresh panties. The elephants put them on their snug. And then I just got into my pants, not even realizing the boxers were still in there from the day before.

[Chelsea Handler]

Oh, my.

[Monica Padman]

You didn't even feel it?

[Dax Shepard]

Didn't.

[Monica Padman]

Weird.

[Dax Shepard]

Is that bad? I did have a slight memory of the time I went to the bathroom. I kind of was like, oh, I'm wearing boxers. I can use the barn door. No, I'm not. Not. I'm wearing my elephant panties. I think I had felt the barn door boxers and then was like, no, I'm wearing.

[Monica Padman]

You second guess yourself. You should always trust your gut.

[Dax Shepard]

I blew past it, and then it was just a fun discovery. Wow. Like, have you ever worn two pairs of underwear on accident?

[Monica Padman]

I don't want to say never because I don't want to seem, like, above crude. Well, I just don't want to act like, so superior.

[Dax Shepard]

Actually, you don't want to seem loose. I think it's prude to wear a couple pairs of underwear.

[Monica Padman]

But also it's. It's like something perverted covers. It's like you're just a mess.

[Dax Shepard]

I think that's more what it was on that given day.

[Monica Padman]

It's just a mess. You don't even know what you're doing.

[Dax Shepard]

I don't know how many pairs underwear I'm wearing.

[Monica Padman]

Yeah.

[Dax Shepard]

That was a fun pop out though. And that second time those undies have been a pop out.

[Monica Padman]

I wonder what's next.

[Dax Shepard]

I wonder what's next too.

[Monica Padman]

I'm excited. Do you mind if I take a quick pause and order a coffee?

[Dax Shepard]

Oh, yeah, please do.

[Monica Padman]

That sounds fun. I need it.

[Dax Shepard]

Yeah, me too. Where we are. Adrenaline was high.

[Monica Padman]

Yeah.

[Dax Shepard]

We're on the come down.

[Monica Padman]

That's what it is. Okay. I'm ordering from Cookbook. It's a great place. Sorry about that. You just got very hungry and thirsty.

[Dax Shepard]

Had you eaten breakfast?

[Monica Padman]

I had an apple. Okay. I.

[Dax Shepard]

That's.

[Monica Padman]

I don't like apples.

[Dax Shepard]

Yeah. Okay.

[Monica Padman]

But I was at Cookbook.

[Dax Shepard]

Oh, my gosh.

[Monica Padman]

I went to Cookbook this morning. No, this weekend.

[Dax Shepard]

Okay.

[Monica Padman]

It's a really, really cute market here in Los Angeles. It's kind of like McCall's.

[Dax Shepard]

Oh, okay, great. Love McCall's.

[Monica Padman]

I decided I wanted to go there to replenish my spices.

[Dax Shepard]

Okay. Because you thought they had gone bad.

[Monica Padman]

I've been in a real, real spring cleaning moment.

[Dax Shepard]

I don't understand how all you women are all synced on everything you're doing, because this is exactly what Kristin's been doing.

[Monica Padman]

Well.

[Dax Shepard]

And I bet all the other women in the pod have been doing it, too.

[Monica Padman]

It's the new year. I think at the beginning of the year, you feel like you want a shed.

[Dax Shepard]

Okay.

[Monica Padman]

You just want to get rid of a bunch of stuff, start clean and minimal really quick.

[Dax Shepard]

I wonder if that's geographical, because, of course, in Michigan you do spring cleaning.

[Monica Padman]

Right.

[Dax Shepard]

Which makes sense because everything's going to be fresh and you want everything to be fresh. But in a city with no seasons.

[Monica Padman]

Sure.

[Dax Shepard]

You have to just arbitrarily go, okay, first of the year makes sense.

[Monica Padman]

Yeah. For me, it's always first of the year. It's like, we got to start new.

[Dax Shepard]

Do you ever say start on you? Because that's a thing people say.

[Monica Padman]

I don't. That's old timey.

[Dax Shepard]

Okay.

[Monica Padman]

Have you heard that joke? It's, like, a little too real this year. But LA does have seasons. It has two fire and awards.

[Dax Shepard]

Oh, okay.

[Monica Padman]

So I went to Cookbook to replenish my spices.

[Dax Shepard]

Yeah.

[Monica Padman]

And I got a little carried away in there because everything's so cute.

[Dax Shepard]

Yeah.

[Monica Padman]

And fun. And bespoke. A word you hate.

[Dax Shepard]

I don't hate bespoke, if you recall. I thought you, our guest, didn't like it. I don't like, like, atelier.

[Monica Padman]

Right. But I thought you were adding bespoke to the mix.

[Dax Shepard]

I was just saying it's similar, but people don't overuse bespoke too much. I don't think they. People are using bespoke to seem fancy. Or maybe they are.

[Monica Padman]

I was just now.

[Dax Shepard]

Okay, well, I'm open to changing my opinion on how I feel about it.

[Monica Padman]

Okay. Well, they had these little apples, and they were so little, but not Those little baby ones people have.

[Dax Shepard]

Like Yodi.

[Monica Padman]

Not like Yodi, more like a Calvin.

[Dax Shepard]

Okay. Yeah.

[Monica Padman]

And I thought they were so cute, so I got a few. And then I also bought this new nut butter from there, and it's so good.

[Dax Shepard]

Oh, wow. What kind of nut is it made?

[Monica Padman]

Almond.

[Dax Shepard]

Oh, okay.

[Monica Padman]

But it's from a farm. It's jarred there. Very bespoke.

[Dax Shepard]

I'm sorry. I keep putting in the gutter, but nut butter does sound weird.

[Monica Padman]

Yeah. Because it sounds like duck butter and it's nuts.

[Dax Shepard]

Like butter from the nuts.

[Monica Padman]

Yeah. So anyway, I've been eat. I ate an apple today and you loved it.

[Dax Shepard]

How big is it? If you were to describe. It's bigger than a ping pong ball. Is it like the size of a tangerine?

[Monica Padman]

Yeah, probably.

[Dax Shepard]

Or a little cutie.

[Monica Padman]

More in the cutie, but more round.

[Dax Shepard]

Huh.

[Monica Padman]

You know what I'm saying?

[Dax Shepard]

Yeah. Cuties are often squashed. They're more old.

[Monica Padman]

Exactly. So you have to think of it bit round. But. But, yeah. Okay.

[Dax Shepard]

That's a tiny apple. There's three bites. I know.

[Monica Padman]

It's so cute.

[Dax Shepard]

Aren't you into the core too quick?

[Monica Padman]

I have to cut it up. I don't like the sensation of biting into an apple.

[Dax Shepard]

Okay.

[Monica Padman]

So I cut it still into quarters.

[Dax Shepard]

Okay. I almost eat apples exclusively for that sensation of biting.

[Monica Padman]

Does it hurt?

[Dax Shepard]

I love it. I feel like it's cleaning my teeth.

[Monica Padman]

Well, I have heard, or may maybe.

[Dax Shepard]

You told me my mother always said, if you don't have a toothbrush, eat an apple.

[Monica Padman]

An apple a day keeps the dentist away. That's right. And the doctor, apparently very healthy product.

[Dax Shepard]

Yes. So you loved it and you ate just one.

[Monica Padman]

And you were one with some of the nut butter.

[Dax Shepard]

Oh, okay.

[Monica Padman]

I'll have to say I'm hungry now. I'm hungry now. Post adrenaline dump. I have a couple housekeepings.

[Dax Shepard]

Okay, great.

[Monica Padman]

We have a new fun game.

[Dax Shepard]

Yes. Explain it.

[Monica Padman]

I kept calling it the Armchair Map. And I was saying, oh, it's kind of like a detective's map where one thing leads to another. And the way it works is there's a quote from somebody. So at this point it will already have been out. So people have probably already seen it. But this past week had a quote from Sam Richardson on Allison Jones. And then the next quote is Alison Jones on Julia Louis Dreyfus. And then the third is Julia Louis Dreyfus on question mark. It's a blank.

[Dax Shepard]

Aha. That's where the riddle is.

[Monica Padman]

Yeah, that's where it's a Fun riddle and a fun game. And it's on story. So you can, like, click and click the people. I think it's gonna be fun.

[Dax Shepard]

And then the last thing, you can click to a link to find out the answer.

[Monica Padman]

Exactly.

[Dax Shepard]

Oh, incredible.

[Monica Padman]

You don't have to listen to the whole episode, but it will go directly to that spot and you'll hear the little clip. Yeah. And then next week, I'll start with that person. And then every week, we're gonna just snake through that little catalog of.

[Dax Shepard]

This could be a huge challenge for you to try to eventually knock out all 860 guests.

[Monica Padman]

I'm excited.

[Dax Shepard]

That's gonna be tough.

[Monica Padman]

I'm gonna do it.

[Dax Shepard]

We might have to start dropping some in inorganically.

[Monica Padman]

We're not doing that. We're not doing that. Oh. But I decided to name it. This is for our real hardcore listeners who really get it. Get us Armchair Lacuna.

[Dax Shepard]

Oh.

[Monica Padman]

Cause, you know lacuna, my favorite word. Even you don't know.

[Dax Shepard]

No, I mean, I know that you like that word, but I have forgotten what the name. What the it is.

[Monica Padman]

It means basically a missing gap.

[Dax Shepard]

A missing gap.

[Monica Padman]

Yes. Because, like, there's a lacuna in science. It's like that's the missing gap in science that people need to fill.

[Dax Shepard]

So this the missing link, we would say in science.

[Monica Padman]

Sure. And this is a missing gap game.

[Dax Shepard]

Oh, yeah. Okay. So it's going to be called armchair lacuna.

[Monica Padman]

Get it?

[Dax Shepard]

Every time you say it. I know I always say lacuna matata because that's what it makes.

[Monica Padman]

It's going to be called armchair lacuna matata.

[Dax Shepard]

That would be great. Sign off on that.

[Monica Padman]

And that's. That's from Yuval. Yuval taught us about lacuna. And now it's my favorite word.

[Dax Shepard]

I got four electric motorcycles.

[Monica Padman]

Cool.

[Dax Shepard]

For the family.

[Monica Padman]

Nice.

[Dax Shepard]

We took our inaugural ride through the neighborhood yesterday. It's really funny. I don't think there's a moment where the similarities and the differences are so stark between Lincoln and I and mom and Delta.

[Monica Padman]

Okay.

[Dax Shepard]

Mom and Delta ride the exact same way. And it was. It's very comical. It's very fun.

[Monica Padman]

You make fun of them?

[Dax Shepard]

Never. I'm very supportive. I'm so happy that they're willing to join.

[Monica Padman]

Yeah.

[Dax Shepard]

But they both get spooked pretty easy. They're going much slower.

[Monica Padman]

I would be spooked.

[Dax Shepard]

Yeah. Yeah. It's a lot, you know? Yeah. And they're. They're fast.

[Monica Padman]

Yeah. That's scary.

[Dax Shepard]

I was very proud of Delta. She's almost not tall enough for it. Oh, she's got to be on her tiptoes. When she stopped.

[Monica Padman]

Oh, boy.

[Dax Shepard]

She had a couple episodes, but she really bailed up perfectly. And everything was hunky dory.

[Monica Padman]

Okay.

[Dax Shepard]

But Lincoln's, like, popping wheelies and riding super fast.

[Monica Padman]

She's popping wheelies, but her feet fit. That's not really fair.

[Dax Shepard]

Also, she just. We're so similar in this domain.

[Monica Padman]

Sure.

[Dax Shepard]

Yeah. But it was incredibly fun. My bad mood broke.

[Monica Padman]

Good.

[Dax Shepard]

Yeah. It was almost like a fever.

[Chelsea Handler]

Like a fever break.

[Dax Shepard]

Yeah.

[Monica Padman]

I think it broke yesterday in our inner.

[Dax Shepard]

Well, in our meeting.

[Monica Padman]

I could tell.

[Dax Shepard]

Yeah. We had a. We had a company meeting, which we've never had. Just insane if you think about it. But we had Emma on zoom. And it was the three of us in here.

[Monica Padman]

Yeah.

[Dax Shepard]

And it was instantly really fun.

[Monica Padman]

Good. I felt. I felt that you had released something.

[Dax Shepard]

Yeah. Emma just really makes me smile, too. She reminds me so much of my two girl cousins. And she had a stupid dog on her lap.

[Monica Padman]

She did?

[Dax Shepard]

Yeah.

[Monica Padman]

Wow.

[Dax Shepard]

Yeah.

[Monica Padman]

Emma gets credit for that. That's a. That's a hard one to swallow. It's a hard pill to swallow.

[Dax Shepard]

I'm not giving her credit for it. I'm saying the whole meeting was so fun.

[Monica Padman]

Okay.

[Dax Shepard]

But I get a bang out. I don't ever see Emma.

[Monica Padman]

I know.

[Dax Shepard]

And when I see her, I'm like, oh, that's right. Emma's delightful.

[Monica Padman]

She is. She's an absolute delight. I love her. I love her.

[Dax Shepard]

I love her, too.

[Monica Padman]

I love her first.

[Dax Shepard]

And then I just had a spring in my step the rest of the day, which was very nice.

[Monica Padman]

Good.

[Dax Shepard]

Yeah. Still going a bit early.

[Monica Padman]

That's okay.

[Dax Shepard]

I like it. I. I hope I can keep it.

[Monica Padman]

It's also. Cuz it's dark early still. And apparently six of winter because of Pugwani.

[Dax Shepard]

Oh, it didn't go our way.

[Monica Padman]

No.

[Dax Shepard]

Pakawana or something like that. Yeah.

[Monica Padman]

Puxawani.

[Dax Shepard]

Do you think people ever really believed it?

[Monica Padman]

I never believed it until now.

[Dax Shepard]

Okay.

[Monica Padman]

Now everyone's talking about it like. Yeah, it's that.

[Dax Shepard]

What is he? He's a chipmunk. No, he's.

[Monica Padman]

No, he's a groundhog.

[Dax Shepard]

Groundhog.

[Monica Padman]

And if he sees his Punxatani.

[Dax Shepard]

Punxsutawney punk's a.

[Monica Padman]

You're right.

[Dax Shepard]

I only know that because of the great movie Groundhog's Day.

[Monica Padman]

I've never seen it.

[Dax Shepard]

You haven't? Oh, Monica.

[Monica Padman]

I know. It's one of those that just. My Indian parents.

[Dax Shepard]

Well, here we go.

[Monica Padman]

What's the first movie you ever Saw.

[Dax Shepard]

In the movie theater, I think 10. And will you look that up, Rob? Because I know I was wrong about.

[Monica Padman]

Oh, yeah.

[Dax Shepard]

About Scarface. I was actually 8. I was the old age of 8. So I shouldn't have been so traumatized by the chainsaw butchering scene.

[Monica Padman]

Sure.

[Dax Shepard]

This came out in 1979. There we go. So that's Bo Derek naked on a Beach in 1979. Yeah, my papa Bob took me to that. I tell you, my Papa Bob just took me to any movie he wanted to see. That was his buddy on the weekend. And he'd be like, we're going to Quo Vadis. Was the movie theater Quo Vadis?

[Monica Padman]

Oh, wow.

[Dax Shepard]

And it was a shrine to movie theater. It was like a tiled exterior, which I had never seen.

[Monica Padman]

They let you in?

[Dax Shepard]

Well, sure. It wasn't NC17. Oh, yeah. But I think my Papa Bob went to see Bo Derek naked, of course. And brought me.

[Monica Padman]

He's your grandpa.

[Dax Shepard]

Yeah, he's my sweet grandpa. This is just reminding me that I had a teacher in high school. This is how much things have changed and how inappropriate this was. But yet had no problem saying this.

[Monica Padman]

Yeah.

[Dax Shepard]

In probably 10th grade, he was. Was explaining. It was like a religion class, and he was just explaining that Judaism doesn't have a hell.

[Monica Padman]

Right.

[Dax Shepard]

Like Christians have a hell.

[Monica Padman]

Right.

[Dax Shepard]

But Judaism doesn't have a hell or a devil, even though it's Old Testament.

[Monica Padman]

Right. Okay.

[Dax Shepard]

And he said that's why Jewish women were more sexual.

[Monica Padman]

Oh, my God.

[Dax Shepard]

Yeah. I mean, that was in a class.

[Monica Padman]

There's so many things that are problematic. One is, is that isn't true. There's nothing to substantiate that.

[Dax Shepard]

That they're more. Yeah, Maybe he hooked up with one Jewish girl and blew his mind. And he was like, why is.

[Monica Padman]

He had to tell his whole class about.

[Dax Shepard]

He had to figure out why. He's like, oh, it's must be because she's not afraid to go to hell. And then I'm going to. I'm going to tell everyone now.

[Monica Padman]

That's true. So I'm going to teach that to these children. Wow.

[Dax Shepard]

He also told a gay joke out loud. Yeah. Do you want to hear the gay joke?

[Monica Padman]

No.

[Dax Shepard]

Even if you cut it out.

[Monica Padman]

Sure.

[Dax Shepard]

He said, what's the difference between a gay man and a freezer? What? The freezer doesn't fart when you pull the meat out.

[Monica Padman]

Oh, my God. That was the joke.

[Dax Shepard]

Yeah. In class.

[Monica Padman]

Wait, how old? What grade?

[Dax Shepard]

10Th or 11th grade.

[Monica Padman]

Oh. Oh, my God. That's like more than a gay joke. That Is also sexual. This guy is perverted. No.

[Dax Shepard]

You know what it was is he had teenage sons. He had like a 18 and a 20 year old son. I think he was hearing their jokes and he was just repeating them.

[Monica Padman]

Does for someone who's awfully spidey sensed.

[Dax Shepard]

Yeah, he does.

[Monica Padman]

I have it.

[Dax Shepard]

You have it.

[Monica Padman]

I have that about him.

[Dax Shepard]

It's an anal sex joke. Really?

[Monica Padman]

Yeah.

[Dax Shepard]

The joke could have been what's the difference between a freezer and women who have anal sex. That would have been very. I think you would have lost everyone at the setup.

[Monica Padman]

He is extremely sexual.

[Dax Shepard]

I don't think he was that sexual.

[Monica Padman]

But all the. You have to admit this is one of those things is wild. Two. That's a pattern.

[Dax Shepard]

I had him several times though over the years. I think it was spread out by a year or two still. I don't know why I'm defending him. Well, I liked him. He's a very nice guy. That's. That's why he was one of these fun teachers, you know. You're excited to go to his class.

[Chelsea Handler]

Yeah.

[Monica Padman]

Most of the.

[Dax Shepard]

What he's like talking about sex.

[Monica Padman]

Maybe this is a teaching moment for people.

[Dax Shepard]

All right.

[Monica Padman]

Most of the people you think who are molesters.

[Dax Shepard]

Right.

[Monica Padman]

Are not like they're this like creepy old creep in the corner. Like they're good at grooming and getting people to think they're charming. And it's a. Interesting.

[Dax Shepard]

See, I have a totally different point of view which is like I'm outwardly perverted and then I'm not secretly perverted. I think it's more Cosby who's like lecturing people on propriety and he's secretly a pro. I think that's more.

[Monica Padman]

Okay, that's an interesting take. But grooming is very specific and it's someone who's just like a creep in the corner is not going to be good at groom. Well, some of them may be.

[Dax Shepard]

I think you're right in that groomers are like gregarious and outgoing and flattering and kind. But I also don't think they ever do anything sexual or talk about anything like that. I, I do, I do think that's true for the most part.

[Monica Padman]

I don't.

[Dax Shepard]

They try to come off as like I'm the one guy who loves being around 13 year old girls but for no real reason. You know what I'm saying?

[Monica Padman]

Yeah.

[Dax Shepard]

You can't be like coach of a 13 year old soccer team girls and make pervy jokes. It's off the table.

[Monica Padman]

Yeah.

[Dax Shepard]

No, right. We agree.

[Chelsea Handler]

Yes.

[Dax Shepard]

It's the super G rated, friendly, supportive guy. That's the groomer. That's building trust and confidence with the parents. Like Michael Jackson. Like, I'm a child. I'm not even sexual.

[Monica Padman]

Oh, God. Yeah, I know, right? But also, I think it depends on the age. Yes. When they're like 13 or 14 or 15. 14 or younger, if they said something sexual, that's obviously a teacher would be like. I mean, a parent would be like, that person has to be fired immediately.

[Dax Shepard]

Y.

[Monica Padman]

But once you get into that 11th, 12th grade.

[Dax Shepard]

Yeah. Where we're kind of adults. We're having sex.

[Monica Padman]

Exactly.

[Dax Shepard]

The students are having sex.

[Monica Padman]

Then grooming becomes a different game.

[Dax Shepard]

Oh, okay.

[Monica Padman]

Okay.

[Dax Shepard]

Now, there was a groomer at my school, but he was like everyone's best friend. And he didn't make any pervy jokes.

[Monica Padman]

He did. Not to you. You weren't the one he was grooming.

[Dax Shepard]

I know.

[Monica Padman]

Did someone tell.

[Dax Shepard]

Oh, I know what I want to say.

[Chelsea Handler]

Okay.

[Dax Shepard]

We always try to shine a light on great TV shows. We love documentaries, books.

[Monica Padman]

Yeah.

[Dax Shepard]

I want to shine a light on Chappelle's monologue.

[Monica Padman]

Oh, my God.

[Dax Shepard]

On SNL a few weeks back. I've watched it four or five times.

[Monica Padman]

I watched it multiple times, too.

[Dax Shepard]

It is so. Just made me think of him saying I'm ugly. It's such a good monologue. It's, like, incredibly funny. And then it's impossibly poignant at the end and it's.

[Monica Padman]

It's a little risky. It's all. It's him. It's. It's everything that makes him so great. Yeah. In just. Yeah. One, One ten minute thing. It's so good because Chappelle, you know, I know there's issues. Right. People have issues with things he said. And I don't agree with everything he said, but if you hear him interviewed and it's rare.

[Dax Shepard]

Yeah.

[Monica Padman]

He's religious. You know, he is Muslim, and he is very into being good.

[Dax Shepard]

Yeah. Mindful and thoughtful.

[Monica Padman]

Yes. And obviously in comedy that gets put on a shelf. But then you hear it as this, like, very subtle through line. He'll pop that in his spirit comes out. Yeah. And in this monologue, he. He comments on Trump's bringing up that people are eating dogs, the Haitians are eating dogs and cats in Ohio. And he says, you know, I'm from there. He's not like, I'm from there. And that was really bad.

[Dax Shepard]

Right.

[Monica Padman]

But he's just. He said, like, that annoyed me because I'm from there, and that's not what happened. This is what happened.

[Dax Shepard]

Yeah.

[Monica Padman]

And then he tells this very sweet and he's not trying to be self congratulatory, it's like on its way to a joke. But he just slips in that he went to those restaurants.

[Dax Shepard]

Yeah. He said if it's safe for me.

[Monica Padman]

Here every day to eat and support those businesses. And like, obviously I don't think that's the part people are necessarily taking, but it is what I took.

[Dax Shepard]

That's like the best monologue I've ever seen.

[Monica Padman]

I think it was incredible. And then he pulls it all the way back around to empathy and oh God. Really, really, really something.

[Dax Shepard]

That's why I hate poor people. They can't see through their own pain.

[Monica Padman]

So funny. Yeah, I highly recommend watching that.

[Dax Shepard]

Stay tuned for more armchair expert if you dare. We are supported by Macy's. Planning a winter getaway. Before you hit the slopes or chase the sun, make Macy's your first destination. At Macy's you'll find everything you need for your vacation at incredible prices. If you're planning a cold weather vacay, head to Macy's for great deals on coats, earmuffs, hats and gloves, boots and outdoor activewear from brands like the North Face, Ugg and Columbia. And if you're booking a sunny destination, Macy's is still the place to get everything you need. They've got stylish resort wear, shorts, dresses, sandals, swimwear and more from brands like Nike, Steve Madden and Levi's. I get my Levi's at Macy's. I just love Levi's. Head to Macy's to find all your travel must haves at affordable prices and spend your next vacation in style. Shop now@macy's.com or visit your local local Macy's store.

[Monica Padman]

Well, that's a ding ding, ding. Oh, because stand up comedian Chelsea. Ah, yes, yes, Chelsea. We love, love Chelsea.

[Dax Shepard]

She's so fun.

[Monica Padman]

She's so fun. She is getting better and better.

[Dax Shepard]

Every time we talk to her it's like exactly. Yeah.

[Monica Padman]

That seems to be her goal in life is to just like get better at all things. Yeah. And I just adore. I really adore.

[Dax Shepard]

I adore it too.

[Monica Padman]

Okay. The Critics Choice Awards she said, oh yeah, we recorded on the Wednesday of the fire. So things Tuesdays when the first of it started. So Wednesday it hadn't gotten crazy yet but. But it still did. The Eaton fire started, started Tuesday night. So it was like all starting but we didn't know how intense everything was gonna get. And so she said at that point even the Critics Choice awards were pushed to the 26th because of the fires, but since then they've been pushed to February 7th. Which is Friday. No, which is. It was Friday.

[Dax Shepard]

Yeah. Congratulations, everyone who won a Critics Choice.

[Monica Padman]

Congratulations. Oh, speaking of that, we have a playlist out of all the award nominated people, guests that we've ever had, which.

[Dax Shepard]

Is now getting voluminous.

[Monica Padman]

It's a big list. And we did Grammys, Critics Choice, sag, Oscar, Golden Globe.

[Dax Shepard]

Did you see Cynthia Ribo sing on the Grammys by chance? She played with Herbie Hancock.

[Monica Padman]

Oh, amazing.

[Dax Shepard]

They did a Sinatra song.

[Monica Padman]

Oh, cool.

[Dax Shepard]

It's pretty. Pretty wild.

[Monica Padman]

Yeah, she's on there.

[Dax Shepard]

Yep.

[Monica Padman]

She's on the, the playlist. But yeah. So just the nominees for this year, who we've had on and. And we got a lot. We have a lot of them.

[Dax Shepard]

My girls are getting old enough where they have, like, interest that I didn't introduce them to. I mean, I guess that's been going on for a while, but this was the first time that, like, Lincoln needed to watch the Grammys.

[Monica Padman]

Oh, cool.

[Dax Shepard]

And that shouldn't be anything. I. It feels. I don't. There feels like some tension parentally.

[Monica Padman]

Oh, tell me.

[Dax Shepard]

Well, I think because I'm watching her get enamored with celebrity.

[Monica Padman]

Okay.

[Dax Shepard]

On some level. And they've kind of been inoculated to that with actors because they have met a lot of them and they're not that impressive.

[Monica Padman]

Yeah.

[Dax Shepard]

So I get a knee jerk, like, you know, worshiping celebrities. A weird thing that's like, this just goes through my mind. And then I go, I always watch the Academy Awards like in Michigan. None of my friends understood. I remember Aaron and I were one time out drinking for the day, and I was like, we gotta find a bar that's showing. Why do we need to sit? And we found this bar in South Lyon and I made them put on the Academy Awards. No one in there wanted to watch it.

[Monica Padman]

Yeah.

[Dax Shepard]

And I was like, yeah, I wanted to watch that. And I liked it even then.

[Monica Padman]

You wanted to see. That's interesting. You act like you.

[Dax Shepard]

Well, I was 19, I think I had. Or even 20, maybe I'd already moved to California.

[Chelsea Handler]

Okay.

[Dax Shepard]

But yeah, I was interested in it and I wanted to see it. And so I quickly talked myself out of anything. I don't know why it even crosses my mind that it's just like, it's just weird to see them get excited, get excited about, like, celebrity culture.

[Monica Padman]

Well, that's funny. I have a few responses to that.

[Dax Shepard]

Oh, please, hit me.

[Monica Padman]

One is I. Yes, I grew up watching the Oscars. The Golden Globes. Really? Those two. But I had to watch it. There was no option. And I was young, doing that. Yeah. For my whole life, only into. I mean, ironically, I stopped once I kind of got here and started knowing people and stuff. I was like, I don't necessarily. Although sometimes it's fun. It's a fun thing to do. It's a fun party. But I think it's incredible to want to aspire for something and to see this. This. This thing that's hard to have and want it.

[Dax Shepard]

I agree. And. And also, I'll tell you where I came to once it was playing in the background, and I was, like, making dinner. I was like, actually, if there's any award show I'd want them to watch, it would be the Grammys. Because you're actually seeing them do their talent.

[Monica Padman]

Sure.

[Dax Shepard]

They get it up and perform every two seconds. There's an incredible performance.

[Monica Padman]

Yeah.

[Dax Shepard]

Like, you're not watching the actual actors act.

[Monica Padman]

Yeah.

[Dax Shepard]

I mean, there's some clips. So that. I'm just saying that one is way more. You could argue is way more celebrity culture. Because you're just like, oh, here's those people in movies. I don't see them in real life.

[Monica Padman]

Yeah.

[Dax Shepard]

Whereas, like, of course, you should watch the Grammys. They're performing, and you love these songs and this music.

[Monica Padman]

Hi. Oh, my God. Thank you. I needed that. Thank you.

[Dax Shepard]

Thank you. Look at this one.

[Monica Padman]

It's cozy. It's skims.

[Dax Shepard]

You were at choir the whole time the Grammys was on you. You saw some of it, right? Yeah. We saw Cynthia Rivo singing Fly me to the Moon. Fly me to the Moon with. With Herby Hancock.

[Kristen Bell]

The nails.

[Monica Padman]

Yeah, I did. They were incredible. Also, she pulled a U. Did you see that?

[Kristen Bell]

I'm sorry, what?

[Monica Padman]

She. Cynthia, I. I need you to be on mic. But Cynthia pulled a U where she. We cut to Taylor Swift, and Cynthia is, like, sitting next, like, a half chair because she couldn't get to her seat. And it's what you did at the Golden Globes with Cynthia. This is sort of like armchair map. Archer.

[Kristen Bell]

Did Cynthia manifest that, like, I manifested at the Golden Globes?

[Monica Padman]

I think so. She stole you. She's paying it forward.

[Kristen Bell]

She is paying it forward.

[Monica Padman]

Whose team are gonna sit next to.

[Kristen Bell]

Oh, my gosh?

[Monica Padman]

Me. I hope that was, to date, one.

[Kristen Bell]

Of the best moments of my life.

[Monica Padman]

If people don't know Kristen at the Golden Globes didn't make it to her seat in time at after commercial. Right, right. And then they cut To Cynthia and Ariana and Kristen's just in the middle. Well, sort of.

[Kristen Bell]

I had been down chatting, so there's like tears, kind of like farming. And it's very.

[Monica Padman]

The segregated.

[Chelsea Handler]

Yep.

[Kristen Bell]

The movie people are in the center pool. And then the TV people, the TV actors, and then the people who actually make all the stuff and are responsible.

[Monica Padman]

The good, the real, the workers.

[Kristen Bell]

The reason everyone's there are on the outskirts. And I was in the middle row at the middle tier, and I went down to go talk to Ben and Melissa and I lost track of time. This isn't going to shock anyone. And I ran down because I think you were probably watching the game or something. And I ran down and.

[Dax Shepard]

Well, we ran down together. You just got a little sidetracked. I made it back in time. And you, like, the door was slamming in Indiana Jones.

[Kristen Bell]

Is that correct?

[Dax Shepard]

Yeah, we both went down together. Because I remember passing you and thinking, oh, she's gonna. She's gonna be down to the wire on this one. I think the band's queuing up.

[Kristen Bell]

The band was queuing up. And then the lights went down and Nikki came out on stage and I was. I just went like this.

[Dax Shepard]

Right.

[Monica Padman]

And for the listeners, she just ducked.

[Dax Shepard]

Yep. She did a duck down.

[Kristen Bell]

And I already couldn't barely sit in that dress.

[Monica Padman]

Oh, yeah.

[Kristen Bell]

And I ducked down. And then I just kind of like, I don't know.

[Dax Shepard]

Army crawl.

[Kristen Bell]

Yeah, a little bit. Trying to go to my seat.

[Dax Shepard]

That would have been great if they would have cut to you. Truly army crawling.

[Kristen Bell]

And then they'd go, that's why we don't let you in the center circle.

[Monica Padman]

That's right.

[Kristen Bell]

And then Cynthia saw me sneaking past her chair and she goes, what on.

[Monica Padman]

Earth are you doing?

[Kristen Bell]

And I was like, I gotta get to my seat. And she was like, no, come, come, come. And then Ariana was like, here, share my seat. And then I. And I sat there. And then over the course of the next five seconds, they both took my hands.

[Monica Padman]

I know.

[Kristen Bell]

And I was in the center of the finger holding.

[Monica Padman]

I know.

[Kristen Bell]

From the Wicked Press tour. And I was, like, just taking it in. And then. And then when I came to, I clocked that Nikki Glaser had started to do a wicked bit. And then my smile from, like, enjoying this fangirl moment went to. Oh, my God, they're about to cut to them. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. And then I just whispered into their ears. I went, I'm so sorry.

[Chelsea Handler]

And they almost.

[Kristen Bell]

I feel like my memory is that it was at the same time, they both turn to me and they go, we're so happy you're here.

[Monica Padman]

Oh, my God, Is it implanted?

[Kristen Bell]

And see, Cynthia's got my hand. And then Ariana had. I was crossed because Ariana had grabbed the other hand. The whole thing was just a joke.

[Dax Shepard]

You look like you're really hanging on by a thread. And your interlocked arms with Ariana and.

[Monica Padman]

Holding hands with Cynthia and holding space for Wicked, which. Your Christmas tree was wicked. It all circles back. It's. You did. You did manifest.

[Dax Shepard]

You came up. I missed it. Obviously, I couldn't see it. Cause I was in the nosebleeds. But you came up and you were so shook, and you're like, yeah, it happened.

[Kristen Bell]

Well, because I love to love things. And I think, like, it might. People might assume that if. If you're in this business and. And see projects happening around you, that they just become mundane. They do not. And I was so into Wicked. So into. I'm a. I feel like I'm a Comic Con fangirl just waiting to manifest a moment like that.

[Monica Padman]

This circles back to what we were talking about before you entered, which is that Lincoln was watching the Grammys, and you were saying. Dax was saying that at first it was kind of, like, irking him that they.

[Chelsea Handler]

I had this dilemma.

[Dax Shepard]

Do you have this at all? Like, she had turned it on on her own, and she was watching it, and my knee jerk was like, oh, I don't want her to get obsessed with celebrity culture. I didn't say anything. And I came to, like, no, I loved the Academy Awards. Like, it's a thing, but it's just weird that I have this knee jerk of like, well, I don't want her to be obsessed with celebrity culture.

[Kristen Bell]

Anytime there's an unhealthy avenue in a want. I think we get concerned for our kids, because you may do that when she turns on an award show. I do. When they start to eat a candy.

[Monica Padman]

Bar, I go, ooh, I really hope that. Well. Cause it's a fine line. It can cross over, but as long as it stays in the line, then you should always hope that you have some joy for it.

[Dax Shepard]

Within 10 minutes, I was like, oh, no, I'm fine with it. It's great. And look how happy she is. But I just had this thought of, like, oh, I don't want her to worship these people.

[Monica Padman]

Well, here's.

[Kristen Bell]

But she also specifically watches the Grammys over any. Anything else, because she loves to sing. She's obsessed with music. She's Obsessed with learning how to sing, doing plays at her school. So, like she wants to see all the singers and there's a, there's a way you could view that, that she's obsessed with this craft. Yeah, she wants to see the best singers, so it's okay if she's obsessed with. Yeah, yeah. I thought you were going to say something totally different because you're such a known contrarian and that you would have this opinion. I thought. Were you irked at all about how much of the firefighters and the LA fires were featured on the Grammys?

[Dax Shepard]

I don't know if I'm allowed to answer, but boy, do you know me very well. I mean, yeah, obviously every single interview was about it. Yeah, I get worried when I think I'm witnessing pandering or virtue signaling. So it's interesting because I am so fucking grateful for the firefighters. Like truly in my heart, I'm so blown away. I'm so grateful for them. They're fucking awesome. And yet I did feel uncomfortable with every single conversation. It just felt like if I were in the rest of the country, I would feel like, was everyone given a script? This is all they can talk about.

[Kristen Bell]

Let me ask you a couple follow ups. Does it change your opinion that they raised 7 million during that show?

[Dax Shepard]

I think it's great that they raised $7 million.

[Kristen Bell]

What is the alternative? Not featuring any firefighters and not raising 7 million?

[Dax Shepard]

Oh, I don't mind that firefighters were there and I don't mind that they donated the money of the show to it. It was that every single interview on the red carpet was about it in the way the interviewers were being very saccharine about everything, everything. It started to feel a little disingenuous. I guess that's my main. But I didn't say one word out loud.

[Kristen Bell]

But I read there was an op ed in the LA Times. And let me start by saying I do respect everyone's opinion and they're all allowed to have their own opinion. But I just in my bones vehemently so disagreed with this because it said the Grammys were trying to give credit to the firefighters and ended up using everyone involved in the fire as pawns Mountains, basically. And I sat there and I thought, was that true? Let me think about it. Let me read a little bit of this. And after reading it, I thought, what is the alternative?

[Monica Padman]

What is the alternative?

[Kristen Bell]

Mention the LA fires at all and that they don't raid $7 million. Or let me give you an even crueler alternative that they have a charity event with no Grammy artists, no celebrities whatsoever that nobody watches. And then $100 is raised, and I'm like, so clearly gonna choose the utilitarian outcome there. But it did make me think that about how saccharine it can become. And you don't want anyone to feel like they're used as pawns, but there is no alternative. And I, for one, liked seeing how much they were saying, thank you for seeing our area.

[Dax Shepard]

Yeah. And that's why I never said anything out loud. I would have never brought up my opinion. I didn't know that thing was written. But, like, everything, it's just, what is your childhood? And when people. I'm triggered by people who are broadcasting how good they are. I'm nervous. I think they're deceptive. Yeah.

[Monica Padman]

What for the actual firefighters themselves. What is getting exploited.

[Dax Shepard]

If I needed to find a motive, I would say someone's like, look how good I am. I'm so concerned about this, and I'm so.

[Monica Padman]

Yeah, that's like bragging, I guess. Right?

[Dax Shepard]

Or just like virtue signaling. I think it triggers whatever baggage I have about religious people growing up.

[Monica Padman]

Sure, they were so pious, but there's hypocrisy there. That's what's triggering, right?

[Dax Shepard]

Yes. And so that's what I'm saying. Like, none of it is true.

[Monica Padman]

Yeah.

[Dax Shepard]

It's just my knee jerk is like, this feels a little too grandstandy as I thought the religious people who were very pious in preaching their purity. And I thought they were all full.

[Monica Padman]

Of shit, and they were full of shit. But I think this one. This. These people. Everyone in this city is not full of. When they are saying, this sucked. We're. We appreciate these firefighters. The city's sort of in sham. You know, everyone here is particularly the.

[Kristen Bell]

Grammys, because musicians are known to have things like Band Aid. You know, all the. We Are the World. Like the. They're known to band together and raise money for causes with their art way more than actors are.

[Monica Padman]

But it's a natural thing to think. I mean, we've talked about it. Because Kristen's gonna do Virtue Signaler.

[Kristen Bell]

Oh, sorry.

[Monica Padman]

All she does is Virtue Signal. And it's like, pull it back. She's hosting the SAG ward. And so we've, of course, had these conversations. What are we gonna do? How are we gonna do it?

[Kristen Bell]

Don't invite any actors. Just invite firefighters. It didn't.

[Monica Padman]

That'd be a hot room.

[Dax Shepard]

Oh, my God.

[Kristen Bell]

I'm gonna push back a tiny bit on virtue signaling. I also don't like it. I also Have a lot of experience in the philanthropy space, which I've been in since I've been 25 years old. And let me start by saying, never is there bigger egos than in the philanthropy space.

[Monica Padman]

For sure.

[Kristen Bell]

But as we've learned, Cricks, yeah, they're here to stay.

[Monica Padman]

There's nothing we can do.

[Kristen Bell]

As we've learned that emotions are contagious, which is proven. And we are chimps and we watch our alphas. Dare I say, without virtue, signaling, kindness, compassion, empathy, giving. Generosity might not travel at the speed it travels unless people talk about it. And there's obviously a fine line because you want to do it with humility. And.

[Monica Padman]

And it needs to be genuine.

[Kristen Bell]

It needs to be genuine.

[Monica Padman]

That's the main. It just has to be real.

[Dax Shepard]

It's like anything else. Like, there's great people in AA and there's terrible people in there, and there's great people volunteering, and there's people just trying to get a pat on the back. So.

[Chelsea Handler]

Sure.

[Dax Shepard]

I always, though, I hope, you know, I'm grateful that people are the way they are. I'm glad. I'm very grateful. Not everyone is cynical like me, or not even cynical. Skeptical. And I'm glad that I'm skeptical because you guys need me sometimes. And this is a time where we need the really optimistic helpers. And I know to shut up and get out of the way and not share my opinion when I'm watching it. So it's like, I don't think one's bad or good. I think I'm one thing, and you're naturally this way and you're naturally that way. And there's a time for me when the guy comes to the door selling you steaks, the Dax steps up, you know, another time that I sit, sit down and shut the fuck up.

[Kristen Bell]

I have needed a lot of your guidance over the years and yours, Monica, because I'm so, like, just ready to wear my heart on my sleeve and be like. And just believe any story without a second thought. And I've needed both of you to talk me off a ledge a couple times of, like, does this really seem like the best use of your time or use of your money? Yeah, I'm grateful.

[Dax Shepard]

Will this really impact anything?

[Kristen Bell]

Right, right, right. Think about the impact.

[Dax Shepard]

Yeah. I mean, the defeatist in me is, like, when they raise money, I'm like, this is a $253 billion issue. What is throwing any amount of money other than the government and these huge insurance companies, like, we're making all ground. Try to offset this thing that is so enormous. You know, there's.

[Kristen Bell]

You're missing a very, very key component.

[Dax Shepard]

Okay.

[Kristen Bell]

Of participation and feeling linked to the solution.

[Monica Padman]

The solution? Yes.

[Kristen Bell]

So if somebody in the middle of Minnesota can donate $10 that my. This is what my aunt calls it to my mom. You actually steal her blessings if you're not allowing her to do that or him. You need to let people participate. You need to let. You need to let people participate and be a part of the solution. And it's actually self esteem comes from esteemable acts. Track your story.

[Dax Shepard]

Listen, I want to say a million times, I'm so happy everyone's not like me.

[Monica Padman]

I think that is a big point that no one really talks about. Is not. It's important for people to feel like they're contributing because otherwise they're like, well then what does it matter? I don't matter.

[Kristen Bell]

Can't do anything.

[Monica Padman]

So you actually need to give people opportunities to feel like they have an impact.

[Dax Shepard]

We don't need a single more person like me. I'm just gonna be honest about who I am, which is, you know.

[Kristen Bell]

No, no, we do. You're a very valuable member of this.

[Chelsea Handler]

Household every few months.

[Kristen Bell]

You have a lot. I've learned a lot.

[Dax Shepard]

Something needs lifting. Something needs wrenching on.

[Kristen Bell]

Someone needs to get some motorcycle ride.

[Dax Shepard]

I just brought that up in the fact check. I was saying we went for Our First All4People Family Motorcycle ride.

[Monica Padman]

I hope that's all you said.

[Dax Shepard]

I said that. I don't know if the similarities between the four of us are more pronounced ever than you and Delta on a motorcycle immediately looking on a motorcycle. It's like the Stark is. It gets.

[Kristen Bell]

I think Delt and I are both on the verge of tears the whole time.

[Monica Padman]

Yeah, Sounds scary getting through it.

[Kristen Bell]

And. And the cortisol jolts are so strong.

[Chelsea Handler]

Although I did.

[Monica Padman]

I didn't.

[Dax Shepard]

You did a great job and I hope I was very supportive, wasn't I?

[Monica Padman]

Yes, you were very supportive.

[Dax Shepard]

Yes. And I even yelled at Lincoln when.

[Kristen Bell]

She was making fun of her mom the whole time.

[Dax Shepard]

It was really fun.

[Kristen Bell]

Okay, I'm going to leave you.

[Monica Padman]

I love you.

[Dax Shepard]

I love you.

[Kristen Bell]

I love you.

[Monica Padman]

Love you. Thank you for bringing my coffee.

[Dax Shepard]

Well, she tried to drop a controversy bomb right on my lap. People are going to be mad at me.

[Monica Padman]

Well, okay.

[Dax Shepard]

It's your fault.

[Monica Padman]

Real quick, cuz we're going to wrap this this fast. Just a few facts for Chelsea. Okay, so it got pushed to the seventh bitcoin today.

[Dax Shepard]

I wonder if it went up the Stock market took a with all this tariff.

[Monica Padman]

Oh, yeah.

[Dax Shepard]

War stuff.

[Monica Padman]

Oh, it did not. It is at $97,274. You said she got a CO2 Lasik. You meant laser. That's a facial procedure to make your skin look young and fresh.

[Dax Shepard]

I hear everything. Always promotes collagen production. That's what I always hear.

[Monica Padman]

Sure. My posture is bad. Is a fact. Oh, and you gave me some back exercises to do. I did them once.

[Dax Shepard]

You did them. Is your posture all better? It's pretty good right now. Do you have shoulder pads in.

[Monica Padman]

Not good. Because it's.

[Dax Shepard]

Does that have shoulder shoulder pads?

[Monica Padman]

No.

[Dax Shepard]

Oh, wow.

[Monica Padman]

Do my shoulders look huge?

[Dax Shepard]

They look. They look back and powerful.

[Monica Padman]

Oh, wow. Okay. Well, I also put my jeans smell.

[Dax Shepard]

Your jeans smell?

[Monica Padman]

Yeah, they just smell like they haven't been washed. Because they haven't. Because I learned you don't really have to wash your jeans, but I think you do have to wash your jeans because they start smelling.

[Dax Shepard]

You don't have to wash them, but you do have to pull your underwear out from the night before you end up wearing double panties.

[Monica Padman]

That's fair. That we can do double panties.

[Dax Shepard]

Mco.

[Monica Padman]

All right, well, that's that.

[Dax Shepard]

That was all the facts.

[Monica Padman]

Yeah.

[Dax Shepard]

All right. Love you.

[Monica Padman]

All right. Love you.

[Dax Shepard]

Follow Armchair Expert on the Wonry app, Amazon Music, or wherever you you get your podcasts. You can listen to every episode of Armchair Expert early and ad free right now by joining Wondry plus in the Wondry app or on Apple podcasts. Before you go, tell us about yourself by completing a short [e-mail] survey what's up everybody? It's Jason Kelce and I'm here with my slightly famous little brother, Travis, AKA Big Yeti Kelsey. Ladies and gentlemen, boys and girls, welcome here to bring you a next level entertainment experience with our show New Heights, where the lumbaby reigns supreme. We're covering all the hardest hitting topics in order of importance. UFO sightings, the ideal PB&J combo, and Trav becoming a big time acting star. Big time is a big stretch. We've got can't miss a list interviews though. That's right. And of course, next level access to life inside the NFL and in the booth. Just because I retired doesn't mean I'm out of the game. Yeah, I mean the. The old dad shoes suggest otherwise, but those are the I'm out the game shoes right there. Listen and watch New Heights wherever you get your podcast. And if you want to listen to us first without any interruptions and get bonus content. Join 13 + in the Wondry app, Apple Podcasts, or Spot.