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Dax Shepard
Wondry subscribers can listen to Armchair Expert early and ad free right now. Join Wondry in the Wondry app or on Apple Podcasts, or you can listen for free wherever you get your podcasts. Welcome, welcome, welcome to Armchair Expert. I'm Dax Shepard and I'm joined by Monica Padman.
Monica Padman
Hi.
Dax Shepard
Today we have Kristen Milioti on.
Monica Padman
She's a star.
Dax Shepard
She's a star. She's hyper talented. She's a force of nature.
Monica Padman
She's been in everything.
Dax Shepard
She's been in everything. Incredible career, Palm Springs, How I Met yout Mother, Black Mirror Made for Love, the resort and her incredibly standout work on the Penguin, which we are here to talk at length about. She's so good on that. And we're gonna announce our armchair anonymous prompts.
Monica Padman
Okay, great.
Dax Shepard
Okay. So get out your pen and paper. Get ready to submit. Tell us about a crazy jury duty experience.
Monica Padman
Oh, I'm so excited for this.
Dax Shepard
Yeah. My friend Tim Lovest texted me and said, hey, I want to tell a jury story.
Kristen Milioti
Oh, great.
Dax Shepard
Yes. So we're going to have a friend on for that one. Tell us a crazy story about finding a foreign object in a patient's butt. You can be a nurse, you can be a doctor, you can be a.
Monica Padman
Can you be a civilian?
Dax Shepard
Sure. Yeah.
Monica Padman
All right.
Dax Shepard
Tell us about a crazy Fourth of July disaster.
Monica Padman
Hold on. The butt one. I bet we're going to get some moms.
Dax Shepard
Oh, it's kids putting items in their butt. Maybe just keep it.
Monica Padman
Like, make sure you ask your kids permission. Actually, yeah.
Dax Shepard
Don't split it. Just don't say their name.
Monica Padman
Okay.
Dax Shepard
Tell us about a crazy Fourth of July disaster. Tell us about a crazy sleepwalking experience. This is a part two. We had a really exciting episode previously. Tell us a crazy cop story Wild card. This is. You know, everyone collects these.
Monica Padman
Yeah, we love the wild cards.
Dax Shepard
We love wild cards. So tell us a crazy wild card story. Ah. Without further ado, please enjoy Kristen Milioti.
Kristen Milioti
Get into your body's vitals with the Vitals app on Apple Watch. The Vitals app tracks key overnight metrics so you can spot changes in your health before you feel them. The Vitals app ON Apple Watch iPhone.
Monica Padman
XS are later required.
Kristen Milioti
The Vitals app is for wellness purposes only and not for medical use.
Dax Shepard
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Monica Padman
When we were just baby friends, we.
Dax Shepard
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Kristen Milioti
He'S an object. He's an object expert. He's an unchanged F.
Dax Shepard
You want a coffee or anything?
Kristen Milioti
No, I'm like very caffeinated.
Dax Shepard
Caffeine to the hilt.
Kristen Milioti
I'm caffeine to the hilt.
Dax Shepard
What's your sweet spot of caffeine intake where it's productive, it's helpful, and then it's destructive. Do we know the cutoff?
Kristen Milioti
I've yet to find it. I still, after all this time alive, haven't been able to find the line.
Dax Shepard
So you do go too far sometimes.
Kristen Milioti
Oh, all the time. Oh, wonderful. Yeah. I did it this morning.
Dax Shepard
You did?
Kristen Milioti
Yeah.
Dax Shepard
And what was that intake?
Kristen Milioti
Well, I had a canned latte from the hotel minibar.
Dax Shepard
Oh, great.
Kristen Milioti
Because I don't live here. And then I walked to Erawan. I'm like a moth to a flame, unfortunately, with that, because we don't have anything like that in New York. And then I got a regular coffee.
Dax Shepard
I don't go there. But I did go in there one time because a friend of mine who was also sober was like, you gotta go get this smoothie there. It's cocaine. And it's not a relapse. I can't remember, but it was like.
Monica Padman
A 21 Bieber, probably.
Kristen Milioti
Bieber. Yeah. They're all like that. You are aware that you're being actively bamboozled, but it's a little bit like I feel when I walk in there, I'm in agreement with it. You're bamboozling me. It's a casino for health food. You're going to give me a great juice. I know you're hosing me.
Dax Shepard
Yes. You're bending me over and I'm gonna.
Kristen Milioti
Just buy it because I do want the taste right now. It reminds me of like an FAO Schwartz, because I know all the sections and I get excited.
Dax Shepard
Now back to your coffee, though. The thing I'm gonna say about it is it's a little bit like taking pot brownies before everything was legalized and you knew what was in them. Where it was Russian roulette, you don't really know you're gonna get the Brownie with like 100mg THC or 1 because Erewhon's like a Single batch from this Ecuadorian. It could have like 6x the caffeine you're expecting.
Kristen Milioti
But that's the gamble, that's the fun of it. That's the ride.
Monica Padman
I think one time we went on Postmates and went to Erewhon and was creating the most expensive smoothie we could. We didn't order it, but we just wanted to see what could you get to because there's all these add ons you can do and I think we got to like $43.
Kristen Milioti
Yeah, sounds about right.
Dax Shepard
So I'm going to say of the many people I've researched over 800 at this point, I've never gone to the early life and not one word about the parents.
Kristen Milioti
Oh really?
Dax Shepard
Are you parentless?
Kristen Milioti
No. Oh my God, not at all.
Dax Shepard
I'm sober. Leave. No, no. Cherry Hill, New Jersey.
Kristen Milioti
Cherry Hill, New Jersey.
Dax Shepard
Of course, when I think of New Jersey I immediately go, oh, it's going to be a suburb of New York. But no, a suburb of Philadelphia.
Kristen Milioti
Suburb of Philadelphia. And I don't know how much time you've spent in New Jersey. We get kind of like a weird rap. I think most people, and this is very much in our blood, they associate us with the Sopranos or with the Jersey Shore and Element is definitely there. But I couldn't wait to get out of New Jersey when I was growing up there. And now as an adult I realize what a special place. There's like something in the water there. It's very spooky and mystical and there's a lot of big emotions there. And we have the Pine Barrens, but then we also have the ocean.
Dax Shepard
What's the Pine Barrens?
Kristen Milioti
The Pine Barrens is where the Jersey Devil allegedly lives. The Jersey Devil? The Pine Barrens. It's in the Sopranos.
Dax Shepard
They go kill people there, they take.
Kristen Milioti
The Russian there and then they get lost.
Dax Shepard
Yes.
Kristen Milioti
A lot of schools in New Jersey take you there to teach you about the land you're on. You go through these swamps and bogs and it's really legitimately like the forest and Beauty and the Beast where he can choose one of the two roads and he's like the spooky one.
Dax Shepard
Yeah, yeah.
Kristen Milioti
But it's really cool.
Dax Shepard
Okay, so what did mom and dad do?
Kristen Milioti
My mom, she's a banker and then my dad works in it. He handles tech for small businesses.
Dax Shepard
Okay. Siblings?
Kristen Milioti
Younger brother.
Dax Shepard
How much younger?
Kristen Milioti
Seven years.
Monica Padman
I have an eight year gap.
Dax Shepard
Were you cruel to him like Monica was to Neil?
Kristen Milioti
I think I was early on because seven years is you're two different generations.
Dax Shepard
You are an only child.
Kristen Milioti
Right. But he is one of my favorite people in the entire universe.
Dax Shepard
Okay. He grew into someone.
Kristen Milioti
He's just fabulous.
Dax Shepard
Do you think he benefited from having an older sister? As I've seen many boys who had older sisters turned out better.
Kristen Milioti
Maybe he's like a golden human being. But I don't know how much I had to do with that.
Dax Shepard
You should take him.
Monica Padman
Yeah, you're a credit. I should take credit.
Dax Shepard
The big fun turn in your life happens at Long Lake Camp.
Kristen Milioti
Wow, you guys don't deep art and.
Dax Shepard
Now this is an east coast thing. Monica and I are always perplexed by anytime we interview someone from the east coast camp life.
Kristen Milioti
Are you west coast?
Dax Shepard
No. Detroit? Atlanta?
Monica Padman
Yeah, the South.
Kristen Milioti
So many of my cousins, I grew up going to like Kennesaw.
Monica Padman
Oh, for sure.
Kristen Milioti
Christmas.
Dax Shepard
What's Kennesaw? What's the vibe there?
Monica Padman
It's a little more rural there.
Kristen Milioti
I would say Marietta too.
Monica Padman
That's more suburban, like where I grew up.
Dax Shepard
Did they introduce you to any weird country shit when you were there?
Kristen Milioti
No, not that I can recall. But I just love the accents down there. They're like a warm bath.
Dax Shepard
Yeah, but were they setting fires and stuff more?
Kristen Milioti
No, there was no fires.
Dax Shepard
No ATVs?
Kristen Milioti
No, no ATVs. You have an ATV out there?
Dax Shepard
Very well sanded.
Kristen Milioti
TVs all over the country, but not around LA.
Dax Shepard
Yeah, we have the best sand dunes in the world outside of Dubai and the Middle east. In Glamis, California, on the border of Mexico. 400 square miles of huge sand dunes.
Monica Padman
But no, he doesn't drive it down Los Fields.
Kristen Milioti
Yeah, that's what I was pretty sure.
Dax Shepard
I just did the RS one last week. Yeah. Cause it just got back from getting the turbo.
Monica Padman
Can you get pulled over? Is it illegal?
Dax Shepard
Yes, highly illegal. But the city, I don't know if you've noticed. This is happening in New York where everyone rides dirt bikes on the street now with no helmet, they're doing wheelies. There's been some movement. Everyone's just like, we're just not going to deal with it.
Kristen Milioti
We have every now and then at an intersection, like eight tricked out. They're not motorcycles, but they're not dirt bikes.
Dax Shepard
Four wheelers.
Kristen Milioti
But then sometimes there's just one long wheel.
Dax Shepard
Yep, yep, yep. They'll take over an intersection and do.
Kristen Milioti
That and they'll do like rear up and then they'll disappear.
Monica Padman
When you see that, what is your thought?
Dax Shepard
And you're not allowed to use the word horny. That's the only word you're not allowed to use.
Kristen Milioti
Don't worry. That word doesn't come to mind when I say that.
Monica Padman
Okay, so do you think it's cool.
Kristen Milioti
When I see that I have a little bit of, like, a. Oh, okay.
Monica Padman
You have some pity.
Dax Shepard
Like, you feel bad for the boys trying to be manly.
Kristen Milioti
But I also get it. Whenever I have done, like, a go kart somewhere, I feel like the king of the world. And so I also can imagine what it must be like. I'm a real fan of pedicabs in New York.
Dax Shepard
Pedicabs? How do they differ?
Kristen Milioti
They're only in Times Square. It's the bicycle with the. They're like $10aminute. It's a really poor investment. But they let you choose the music and they blast the music and they ride through all the taxis, and it's, like, thrilling.
Dax Shepard
Yes, yes.
Kristen Milioti
And obviously that's a gentler VI version of riding an ATV through Times Square, but I do get it. It's the loudness that I don't like. It's only the volume.
Dax Shepard
Things are moving into the electric space. I just am getting my very first electric dirt bike. It's in route right now. But you've kind of nailed it. The appeal, two things. So both my daughters ride motorcycles. The youngest one just recently actually got into it in the way that you need to get into it. We were riding in the neighborhood, and she was, like, right next to me, and she goes, oh, my God, Dad. I get it. What's so cool is you're in total control. And I'm like, yes. That is the whole. I tell it to do this, and it does that. Then there's also. It's a break from the given reality. Like, you're on a street, you're supposed to make a left turn. It's in a grid. And then you have this thing with suspension. You can drive on the sidewalk. You can split between the traffic. So it does feel like a superpower as well. That's a part of the appeal.
Kristen Milioti
I've never explored this topic as in depth. It is just the noise that bothers me. It is intrusive, it's obnoxious. And yet I live in New York. I'm surrounded by loud noise. But there's something about that, like, because everything else, I'm like, oh, I would love this.
Dax Shepard
And it feels probably a little toxic.
Kristen Milioti
It's a little aggressive.
Dax Shepard
It's the scary side of maleness, maybe.
Kristen Milioti
That part of it seems so unnecessary. And it scares dogs, and it scares Kids, it sets off car alarms.
Dax Shepard
I know. Selfish.
Monica Padman
It feels selfish. It's like you like this thing so much that you don't care that this is bothering the entire city with your noise.
Kristen Milioti
But I wrote a moped in Paris once. It was like living inside of a song. This is so transportative, and it's such a precious memory, so I get it. But mopeds aren't loud.
Dax Shepard
The experience of traveling briskly is just taken for granted. And in a car, you're kind of removed from the sensation. But when you're on two wheels with nothing around you, it's as close as you get to riding a horse somewhere.
Kristen Milioti
Yeah.
Dax Shepard
I bet you're very aware of this neat gift we've gotten where we can go places quicker than we would otherwise be able to.
Kristen Milioti
Yeah. I've never ridden on a motorcycle.
Dax Shepard
Well, after this interview, we're gonna.
Kristen Milioti
Okay, we're.
Dax Shepard
Hop on.
Kristen Milioti
We'll take off. Yeah, but it would scare me, just because of how everyone's texting and driving, for sure.
Dax Shepard
Watching movies, smoking weed. I see guys watching pornography on the way home, and I just think, my God, it's that bad.
Kristen Milioti
We've really rotted.
Monica Padman
Yeah. I've really taken a turn.
Dax Shepard
I have a really good glimpse of this city because of lane splitting and just seeing what everyone's doing in their cars all the time. And very few people are driving.
Kristen Milioti
Yeah.
Monica Padman
Yeah.
Dax Shepard
Oh, God, that porn one really got you.
Kristen Milioti
Yeah, well, because it hurt my soul a little bit more.
Dax Shepard
Chimpanzees that are in mechanized machines.
Kristen Milioti
I know. So that's why I'd be afraid to ride a motorcycle.
Dax Shepard
Okay, Back to Long Lake Camp. So that's kind of a thing we didn't experience. I'm very envious of it. I know, right?
Kristen Milioti
It was cool.
Dax Shepard
How did you end up there?
Kristen Milioti
Something my parents suggested, and I didn't have a lot of friends. I don't know this for a fact, but I think they were like, we're gonna just make you be social. And I was bullied a lot during that time in my life. But at camp, I was there with a lot of other kids that I think were also experiencing that. And I was king of camp. It was run by hippies, and I was only there for, I think, two weeks. It became this beacon where I, for those two weeks, was fully accepted and so confident and my full, strange self.
Monica Padman
Was it an arts camp?
Kristen Milioti
It was, but they did sports as well. But it was mostly artsy camps.
Monica Padman
Okay, got it.
Kristen Milioti
It was just really special.
Dax Shepard
Well, first of all, I want to Know what your explanation is for why that was all happening in public school, but then also, yes, just to visit someplace and go, oh, okay, so there will be places I will fit in has got to be the most optimistic thing that could happen.
Kristen Milioti
It's such a helpful thing. It buys you hope. It gave me these little bursts of confidence, too, where I was deserving of not being shoved into a wall or something.
Dax Shepard
Okay, so why wasn't it working?
Kristen Milioti
It actually kind of all happened at the same time. I definitely had friends. I was a soccer player, and I was just like, a regular kid in New Jersey, suburban elementary school. But I had different pop culture references. I just didn't totally fit in. And then I went to this camp for the first year, had this incredible awakening where I felt like I was king of camp. And the hottest girl at camp that summer was from Venezuela. She was 16, and she shaved her head at camp, and it was like the coolest thing that had ever happened. And the entire camp was like. And she had a nose ring, no makeup. It was like, Sinead o' Connor.
Dax Shepard
Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes.
Kristen Milioti
And so then I got home from those couple weeks, and I shaved my head.
Dax Shepard
Rob.
Kristen Milioti
What? Oh, you have it. Okay. You have it. So you do. Okay.
Dax Shepard
This is among the cutest photos I've ever seen of a human on planet Earth. That's really cute.
Kristen Milioti
That's a week into a new middle school. Sixth grade, seventh. I don't know. A lot of the kids.
Monica Padman
I'm stressed.
Kristen Milioti
Do you know what I mean?
Monica Padman
Yes. I think this is really, really sweet and so cute, and I have almost.
Kristen Milioti
Because you know exactly what happened. What happened when that kid walks in the door of a middle school with 2,000 other kids.
Dax Shepard
Right. The high school you ultimately graduated was Cherry Hill east, which implies there's a West. Right? So this is like a huge district, giant, sprawling suburb. Okay. So for the listener who can't see, it's a buzz cut. It's not.
Monica Padman
Steve is not.
Kristen Milioti
Yeah, it was a buzz cut because my mom took me. And to my mom's credit and my dad's credit, I didn't do this myself. I came home and was like, hey, I want this. And they were like, okay.
Dax Shepard
It felt really mean. But I did want to say, you can't tell. When you say, I didn't do this myself.
Kristen Milioti
I know you can't tell. Picture day is halfway through the year. Maybe a couple months ago, it had.
Monica Padman
Grown out a little bit.
Dax Shepard
I love you.
Monica Padman
That makes me so sad about it. And I want our listeners to really Think about this.
Dax Shepard
All of our middle school listeners.
Monica Padman
No, no, Our adult listeners. When I see that I know me as a middle schooler, everyone's just trying to survive middle school and make it through without getting shoved in a locker that I know in the same is so regrettable and sad that if this sweet, sweet child walked in, I would turn. I can't be friends.
Kristen Milioti
Oh, absolutely.
Monica Padman
I'm saying that with heartbreak.
Kristen Milioti
No.
Dax Shepard
And I know that they're doing something you're afraid to do in a way that's scary.
Kristen Milioti
I mean, you can see my eyes. I was like a tender.
Dax Shepard
Yeah, you're a little Bambi.
Kristen Milioti
Yeah.
Dax Shepard
Now, here's what's deeply unfair about the world. So I, too, in seventh grade, I had a Mohawk, but because I'm a boy and it was so not what you were supposed to do.
Kristen Milioti
Yeah, sure.
Dax Shepard
Girls were like, oh, this guy is so confident in a man or a boy. That kind of, quote, bravery was rewarded.
Monica Padman
It's like, he's bad.
Dax Shepard
That's cool and that's unfair. But I'm promising you right now, I would have 100% been friends with you.
Kristen Milioti
Really?
Dax Shepard
Oh, absolutely. I would have been drawn to this like a moth to a flame. I would have seen what you were up to, and I was doing a similar thing, and I would have been like, all right, I'm going to pass you notes in class and we're going to get through this.
Kristen Milioti
Well, it was such a 180 of feeling so good for those few weeks over the summer. And then coming in and I was, like, silent for months. I was, like, afraid to talk.
Dax Shepard
You were reminded of the Otherworld tenfold.
Kristen Milioti
Because at least before I had long hair, I could kind of blend. Blend. And I, of course, was aware of the social situation, too, of that age. It does feel like Lord of the Flies. If you think I'm stupid, look over there. I get it.
Monica Padman
It's sad that that's how humans are.
Dax Shepard
I know. Yeah. Well, I love her.
Monica Padman
I do, too.
Dax Shepard
This picture made me so happy when I. You should have been absolutely rewarded. You should have skyrocketed to number one status.
Kristen Milioti
Yeah, I really did not. What's the opposite of skyrocketing? Plummeting to the Mariana Trench.
Monica Padman
Was it girls who were mainly both? It was both.
Kristen Milioti
That was the other thing. All the boys thought I was a young boy, so they would truly, like, throw me into a wall and then.
Monica Padman
Be like, oh, oh, you have girl parts.
Kristen Milioti
It was both sides. I truly was a unifier in terms of people.
Dax Shepard
You got to experience What? Unfortunately, the smallest boy in a class experiences which just any kid trying to earn his stripes is gonna sh.
Kristen Milioti
Exactly.
Dax Shepard
Oh, boy.
Kristen Milioti
Yeah.
Dax Shepard
Did it level off? Did you find a sweet spot in your schooling?
Kristen Milioti
The way that it leveled off was that the only kids that were nice to me were the drama kids. There were a couple girls in the middle school theater department, which, oh, my God, what I wouldn't give for the footage of the plays that we did. But they were like, you can hang with us. And I started going to these rehearsals and drama classes, and I was like, oh, I love this. I can have fun and disappear. Probably. Also, these kids are nice to me. And it was like a version of camp.
Dax Shepard
You're right. There was a little tiny safe space.
Kristen Milioti
In the cafeteria where we would rehearse after school. I felt this grand relief and that I could giggle again. It just was a respite. And so it was a really, actually fortuitous way to find myself in acting. A famously stable industry.
Dax Shepard
Yeah, yeah.
Kristen Milioti
Full of mentally well people.
Dax Shepard
Where success will heal all those wounds magically. And then you went to nyu.
Kristen Milioti
Yes.
Dax Shepard
Right out of high school.
Kristen Milioti
Right out of high school.
Dax Shepard
Okay. Now, you share this in common with Kristen. I think she left. Maybe you left a little earlier than her.
Kristen Milioti
I left halfway through my sophomore year.
Monica Padman
To go do theater?
Kristen Milioti
No. Just to take a leap.
Dax Shepard
Get the fuck out of it.
Kristen Milioti
I was like, get me out of here.
Dax Shepard
Yeah. What didn't you enjoy about it? I wrote down a quote you said about it. Wildly unhappy.
Kristen Milioti
I was like, oh, God, what have I said? Sometimes interviews make me really nervous because things are read back to me and I'm like, I don't feel that way anymore. And it's very strange to adhere to. And also, who cares? No one's thinking. Thinking about it that much, but it's sometimes an odd sensation to be like, oh, oh, God, I did. Huh? When did I say that?
Dax Shepard
I agree with you. I think it would be easy for people that read interviews to think the answer that was given was one that was well thought out, as opposed to. I'm obliged to answer this in some way immediately.
Kristen Milioti
Yes.
Dax Shepard
And so I'm going to do my best at it. And it's not necessarily your walking opinion of totally.
Kristen Milioti
It's me trying to figure something out in the moment.
Monica Padman
Also, you can evolve. The way you think about things changes.
Kristen Milioti
Totally. But wildly unhappy. I wasn't wr.
Dax Shepard
In this one.
Kristen Milioti
I'd say it's actually, like, pretty accurate. I knew that I was accruing debt, and I was in a musical Theater program. I was at Tisch. I was in Cap 21.
Dax Shepard
That's Kristin as well.
Kristen Milioti
Really? I didn't know that.
Dax Shepard
Yes.
Kristen Milioti
I don't know what her experience was, but I was doing some stuff every day that I thought was cool, like tap dancing class. But then I would be in the middle of tap dancing and I'd be like, I'm going into debt to learn to tap dance. I'm never gonna tap dance. I'm not good at this. I love this as like an experience, but I'm not gonna be in anything good. And then we would do scenes from Chekhov. This sounds so theater studenty, but I was like, oh, I love this. And then they'd be like, well, that was the 20 minutes we gave to Chekov. So now we go to ballet. And I get what they were doing, but I felt like a square pegging around hole a little bit. Were you Longley going to New York, even though that's where I've like wanted to live always and I will never not live there, was overwhelming for an 18 year old. I also wasn't a great student and I didn't understand that NYU is like a liberal arts program so you have to take regular classes. I thought it was a conservatory. Imagine my surprise also, why didn't I research that? But I just wanted to be an actor in New York. And I showed up and they were like, okay, you have tap dancing class on Thursday and then on Friday you have to study French history. And I was like, oh, sorry, I didn't want to do that. And they were like, well, that's the program. And I was like, huh, interesting. And I didn't realize that, yeah, you're.
Dax Shepard
Going to take some biology.
Kristen Milioti
So I think that was part of it too. And I was like, this is not what I thought it was. And so then I left.
Dax Shepard
Were mom and dad at all disappointed or scared?
Kristen Milioti
They were really supportive. They were definitely like, listen, you've made this decision. We support you, but you have to now go support yourself.
Dax Shepard
Last question on that. Is it also possible that you had had an expectation or a fantasy that it was gonna be like camp? You were gonna land in your group and be seen. And then you got there and it was like, no, I'm lonely here.
Kristen Milioti
Music has always been a huge part of my life and I love musical theater so much, but I didn't quite fit into that world. I've done a couple musicals, but they've all been not conventional. Yeah, they're not like Thoroughly Modern Millie. And I say that as A huge fan of Thoroughly Modern Millie. They're different. I sound different. So I also just felt like I was in the wrong place.
Dax Shepard
Yeah. I don't know how to say what you're saying without it being a pejorative, but, yes, there's a kind of type of musical theater performer. It's a very specific kind of thing.
Kristen Milioti
That works really well, which I also love.
Dax Shepard
Like, Fiona Apple's not gonna be.
Kristen Milioti
And that's my girl.
Dax Shepard
That's right. And they're not, by the way, gonna end up on Sopranos.
Kristen Milioti
Sure, sure.
Dax Shepard
Okay. So, yes. In 06, shortly after you've left NYU. Now, I can't imagine anything more exciting for a girl from New Jersey to be on Sopranos. Everyone in your family's watching it?
Kristen Milioti
No, we couldn't afford hbo, so I had never seen it. I just watched the Sopranos for the first time two years ago. It was wasted on me, but thank.
Dax Shepard
God, best show ever with the best performance by an actor of all time.
Kristen Milioti
I had resisted it. Cause I was like, certainly it can't live up to the expectations of being the greatest show of all time. It is the greatest show of all time. And thank God I didn't know, because for me, I just was like, whoa. I knew who they were. But the most exciting part of that experience for me was that Steve Buscemi directed watching the Coen Brothers films with my dad. We would watch a lot of movies together, him and I, and certainly movies that I probably shouldn't have been seeing.
Dax Shepard
Yeah, sure. Sure. That's how it should be.
Kristen Milioti
Yeah. And so I was, like, a huge Steve Buscemi fan. And that was actually the part that I would start shaking.
Dax Shepard
Yeah. Did you see him in the studio? Are you watching the studio?
Kristen Milioti
Yes.
Dax Shepard
Buscemi.
Kristen Milioti
Yeah. He's so wonderful, but he's wonderful in everything. And he was so kind to me.
Monica Padman
How old were you?
Kristen Milioti
19.
Monica Padman
It was your first job.
Kristen Milioti
Yeah.
Dax Shepard
First time on TV in Sopranos. Wow.
Kristen Milioti
And, like, really not knowing.
Dax Shepard
Missing it.
Kristen Milioti
Like, missing it.
Monica Padman
No, not gay completely.
Kristen Milioti
I knew it was a big deal intellectually, where I was like, I see the posters on this show on buses. I know, of course, who all these people are.
Monica Padman
If you cared, you wouldn't have booked it. At that age, when you walk in, you're brand new and you're obsessed with the thing. It wouldn't have happened.
Kristen Milioti
Yeah.
Dax Shepard
I watched a clip of it today.
Kristen Milioti
You did? I'm not good on it.
Dax Shepard
Yeah, you are. You're really good.
Kristen Milioti
When I watched it, not that I had forgotten that I was on it.
Dax Shepard
Oh, right, right, right now when you were watching it?
Kristen Milioti
When I was rewatching it, like, that episode started and I was like, wait, why have I seen that before? And then I was like, oh, my God, I'm about to appear on the screen. And it took me a second and then I appear. And I'm so young and I'm such a little baby, and I'm like, holding that cigarette and I'm yelling my lines like I'm in a theater.
Dax Shepard
But it works.
Monica Padman
What do you play?
Kristen Milioti
I'm like a mob boss's daughter, ironically. Not ironically, yes. But I pop in. I show up in a later episode, too.
Dax Shepard
You did three, right?
Kristen Milioti
With a shaved hair.
Monica Padman
I don't know that your life is really full circle.
Kristen Milioti
Okay, so I did Sopranos. I didn't work for a long time and I did a bunch of odd jobs. And then I booked this Martin McDonough play called the Lieutenant of Inishmore. And I was an understudy in it. It's how I got my equity card. In the play. The character has a buzzed head. They buzzed my hair. And I only went on one time in like an eight month run.
Dax Shepard
I was just gonna say, as the understudy, couldn't you be like, well, let's wait. It doesn't take long to buzz my hair.
Kristen Milioti
It's also the power of a good agent. My agent at the time was like, oh, yeah, just buzz her. Just do whatever she'll do. And did. But as I was in the middle of that, we filmed a third episode and I showed up and they were like, your hair's gone.
Dax Shepard
Surprise.
Kristen Milioti
When I got to that episode, when I was watching it, I was like, no one knew that you were his daughter. It's so random. I'm in a room with a buzzed head.
Dax Shepard
Well, they didn't put a wig on you.
Kristen Milioti
They didn't put a wig on me. And I'm sitting. I don't want to give anything away. On the edge of his bed. And I was like, wow, what a.
Dax Shepard
Delight, though, for you to later watch this thing and go, that's cool. I was in the greatest show ever made.
Kristen Milioti
I was in the greatest show ever made.
Dax Shepard
You're in, like, the Godfather of tv kind of sim.
Monica Padman
But I did a play also. Martin McDonagh play the pillow Man.
Kristen Milioti
One of my favorite plays.
Monica Padman
And I loved it so much. Me and these two other girls kind of played these ghost type characters.
Kristen Milioti
Yeah, the ones that are in the terrifying part. Yes.
Monica Padman
She had this whole vision of us and she was like, Whoever books these parts is gonna have to shave their head. And I was like, sure, I'll say that, but I'm not really gonna do it. And then I booked it, and me and this other girl were, like, were not shaving our head. We had this huge conversation with the director, and she was so, so pissed, obviously. But I was like, I'm in college. This is for one play here.
Kristen Milioti
Those parts don't require it. It was her vision in the Lieutenant of Inishmore. It's because she's militant.
Monica Padman
Yeah. She's supposed to.
Kristen Milioti
She has, like, a gun, and she's got the aviators and the shaved head. That's just artistic liberty.
Monica Padman
It was, but I also was like, am I gonna be able to do this as an actor? I'm not even willing to do this.
Kristen Milioti
Yeah.
Monica Padman
We ended up doing bald caps and hats.
Dax Shepard
I bet they look great. I don't love.
Kristen Milioti
You don't love getting scared theater, theater.
Dax Shepard
I don't.
Kristen Milioti
But you've seen great theater.
Monica Padman
You haven't seen many straight plays. You get dragged out.
Dax Shepard
Those are probably the least favorite.
Kristen Milioti
When theater is great for me, there's nothing like it. But when it's bad, there's nothing like it. Yes.
Dax Shepard
Yes. I feel like it's fish. Like, people who love fish.
Kristen Milioti
Yeah, yeah, sure.
Dax Shepard
And they're like, no, no, you gotta get the right. The possibility of failure is so high with fish and with theater. And then you're really there. Anyways, I respect it. My issue is, are we pretending we're seeing this, or are we acknowledgin people in front of us doing it?
Kristen Milioti
Interesting.
Dax Shepard
I can't get into the paradigm of it.
Kristen Milioti
I've never thought about it that way.
Dax Shepard
I went to Lion King with an ex girlfriend's family in Seattle, and everyone was so delighted. And I was like, I'm confused. Is everyone buying into the animals are talking and they're not in front of us, or are they going, what a cool production. It's so beautiful. And look what the humans can do live. That would be one way to view it. And I'm caught between. I'm not sure what I'm supposed to do.
Kristen Milioti
I really find that so fascinating. I would think that if you were watching the animated version too, where you're like, am I supposed to believe Zazu's real? Yeah.
Monica Padman
Why is a movie better?
Dax Shepard
Because the movie is very removed and it has this filter over it, which is the screen. And so, yes, I can buy into, like, I'm watching Godfather and I can believe this world exists. I can't touch it.
Kristen Milioti
Do you know what I wonder or I don't know. I'm just trying this on.
Dax Shepard
You'll get quoted later that this was your permanent opinion.
Kristen Milioti
Yeah, like this is not necessarily how I'll feel in a week. I kind of like in theater and I can't reiterate enough when it's bad. There's nothing like it in terms of a torturous experience. And I'm someone who's also been in some awful plays. And when you are in an awful play and you can like hear the seats going up as people leave, you can just feel it and it's just excruciating.
Dax Shepard
It's why you do it though, because those are the stakes.
Kristen Milioti
Those are the stakes.
Dax Shepard
You know, if it didn't have that, then when it works, it wouldn't have violation.
Kristen Milioti
When theater is great, it reminds me of. I'm a very avid concert goer. I see everything.
Dax Shepard
And you cry through most performance.
Kristen Milioti
I do cry.
Dax Shepard
When you saw Joni Mitchell, you cried for three hours.
Kristen Milioti
I cried for three hours. Wow. Where did I share that? Yeah, it's really emotional. And I think it reminds me of a place of worship where I can be in communion with an experience that is so individual to that one moment in time with the people who I'm seated next to and the people who are also communing things. I wasn't raised with any organized religion. And I have wondered if that's what that at its best is supposed to offer. That there are things moving through us that are bigger than us, that unite us. And I think when theater is good, my own heart and memory and life is in communion with a strangers and with strangers in a dark room, like we've gone to pray or something. I'm being so lofty.
Monica Padman
No, lofty as well.
Kristen Milioti
But it's good.
Dax Shepard
It's cool to believe that.
Kristen Milioti
And I think that's maybe sometimes easier to do with a concert. Especially because that music is something you listen to in private moments. That's what makes those things so. So gorgeous and emotional. But you're feeling it, you know, When.
Dax Shepard
I saw that got me the Fleetwood Mac one, stereophonic, beautiful. That was fucking radical.
Kristen Milioti
You begin to feel like a fly on the wall. You know what? I get what you mean. Maybe I have just a. Because I've been inside of them too. And I just really like theater as an art form. I am really being lofty.
Monica Padman
No, you're not.
Dax Shepard
Stop self policing yourself.
Kristen Milioti
Yeah.
Dax Shepard
Be who you are. You're loved and you're valued and you're at camp.
Kristen Milioti
I do think the fly on the wall ness is also what I like about theater. You can feel like you're in the.
Monica Padman
Experience with them again, if it' really good. It's the difference when we do this show in person, the people in it. If somebody was a live show versus if they are watching it on YouTube or when we did zoom interviews, that was still great. But the electricity that's happening between people, you can't feel.
Kristen Milioti
Yeah.
Dax Shepard
Okay, now, I talked way too long to you about theater, but. Oh, six year in Sopranos, and then without discrediting anything, it seems like the next moment for you is once.
Kristen Milioti
Yeah.
Dax Shepard
You were in it for two years.
Kristen Milioti
I was in it for a year and a half.
Dax Shepard
Is that kind of a record?
Kristen Milioti
Sometimes people are in things for like five years.
Dax Shepard
Oh, really?
Kristen Milioti
Ten years. Oh, it was like a year and a half. When all was said and done, between doing it out of town, doing it downtown, and then doing it on Broadway. I performed over 500 times.
Dax Shepard
Wow. And you got nominated for a Tony. Okay, that's so thrilling. And you won a Grammy for it.
Kristen Milioti
I did.
Monica Padman
Oh, my God.
Dax Shepard
Well, this is so exciting.
Monica Padman
When I get an egot, this is so exciting.
Dax Shepard
You're halfway through an eagle, and then you are on Glen Hannah.
Kristen Milioti
Yes.
Dax Shepard
Okay. So he was on an episode of Parenthood. He came and recorded at the Luncheonette, which was a studio we had in this fake world. What a sweet dude to spend a week with. Did you love him?
Kristen Milioti
He was lovely. And that music. I'd never seen the movie before. I did the musical intentionally at that point. I hadn't seen it. And then it became intentional. You know what? I'm gonna just do my own thing. And the play was different in a lot of ways, but getting to sing that music night after night, it was a really magical experience.
Dax Shepard
Yeah, well, I wish I would have seen that. Okay, now we go to TV 2013. You play mother on How I Met yout Mother.
Kristen Milioti
Yep.
Monica Padman
Big reveal.
Kristen Milioti
Another show I'd never seen.
Dax Shepard
Oh, I'm in that camp with you. I hadn't seen it.
Monica Padman
I loved it.
Kristen Milioti
I had never seen it. I am glad that I hadn't. I don't think I understood the weight. The you understand the weight and I don't.
Dax Shepard
So tell me the show's called that. And I guess I'm learning today. If you appeared on season eight and then nine.
Kristen Milioti
I'm in it for like six episodes.
Monica Padman
Yeah. The premise of the show is he's telling his kids about how he met their mother. And he goes back in time at the beginning of his story to tell it. So you don't know throughout the whole series who the mother is. And new people are coming in and out, new girlfriends. And it's like, oh, it's probably Robin, the best friend. And then turns out it's not.
Dax Shepard
Yeah, yeah. And you didn't know. She comes in after with a shaved head.
Kristen Milioti
I burst through the wall like the koolaid man.
Monica Padman
And I go, oh, yeah.
Kristen Milioti
And then the show ends. Oh, yeah.
Monica Padman
I'm glad you didn't know because that is stressful. Because I bet. I mean. And you'll tell us people had strong reactions to that.
Kristen Milioti
They surely did. And, you know, I am pretty good about staying very far away from the Internet. It's not a good place for human brain to be.
Monica Padman
Agree.
Kristen Milioti
I also was pretty good at sheltering myself from that as well. But I definitely didn't understand the weight.
Monica Padman
Yeah. Because people are like, what? We don't even know her.
Kristen Milioti
Yeah. We've been here for very famously contested finale.
Dax Shepard
Stay tuned for more Armchair Expert if you dare. We are supported by Domino's. You know, I have the app.
Monica Padman
Me too.
Dax Shepard
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Monica Padman
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Dax Shepard
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Monica Padman
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Dax Shepard
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Monica Padman
I love Boar's Head. It is definitely my my meat of choice. I like the Oven Gold turkey.
Dax Shepard
Yeah, the Oven Gold turkey is outrageous. So is that smoke Master uncured ham. Oh, I can just eat a pile.
Monica Padman
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Monica Padman
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Kristen Milioti
Yep.
Dax Shepard
And she's Papa Ted's daughter.
Kristen Milioti
I love Ted Danson.
Dax Shepard
What a man. You racked up pretty quickly some pretty significant co stars. You just all did Wolf of Wall Street Yeah. Being opposite Leo.
Monica Padman
Do you get nervous?
Kristen Milioti
I did then, and I do now.
Monica Padman
Okay.
Kristen Milioti
I get nervous with, like, any. I go immediately to a place of I'm gonna fail or something.
Monica Padman
Imposter syndrome.
Kristen Milioti
Imposter syndrome. Yeah. But I was certainly so nervous on that set. That was such a huge set.
Dax Shepard
It's a great test of an actor. Like, if you can be in scenes with Leo and you're just as captivating.
Kristen Milioti
Thank you.
Dax Shepard
That's a tall order. People need to think about it a little bit. Like you're playing one on one with Jordan. This person is gonna be riveting. That's why they're who they are. And you're gonna have to carry your side.
Kristen Milioti
Oh, I've never thought about it like that. That's very kind of you, but it's true.
Monica Padman
It can also be a. Because if they're that good.
Kristen Milioti
He's an extraordinary actor.
Monica Padman
Yeah. You can sometimes get carried into their bubble.
Dax Shepard
I've been carried into people's bubbles.
Kristen Milioti
I wish I'd been less afraid in the beginning. I mean, I'd never been on something that big. And then just by way of the energy of those sets, and you're working with people who are at the top of their game.
Dax Shepard
They already work together.
Kristen Milioti
Yeah. But it's actually quite intimate. But the first two weeks, I mean, I was not in my body.
Dax Shepard
Yeah.
Kristen Milioti
Not even remotely.
Monica Padman
When we talk about missing the Sopranos, I mean, that's probably what you really missed. Being able to be like, wow, I'm really doing it. Cause you.
Dax Shepard
I'm with one of the best directors to ever live. With one of the best actors to ever live.
Kristen Milioti
It's very wild to be in those situations.
Dax Shepard
It can be a disassociated experience.
Kristen Milioti
It can be. But obviously, this is, like, a huge understatement. It's so profound. And it continues to be profound when I find myself in spaces with people whose work meant so much to me growing up. Every time, I am so shocked.
Dax Shepard
Now we're just gonna zip through. So, Fargo, you were great. I loved you in Fargo.
Kristen Milioti
I love that show very much.
Dax Shepard
Okay. Palm Springs.
Kristen Milioti
Love that as well.
Dax Shepard
The next show I watched was Made for Love.
Kristen Milioti
Oh, you watched it?
Dax Shepard
I did.
Kristen Milioti
Okay.
Dax Shepard
I loved it.
Kristen Milioti
Not everyone did. I have such a warm spot for that show, especially because the cast is so outrageous. So much of what we explored in that show is now reality.
Dax Shepard
You had an implant in you from a tech billionaire.
Kristen Milioti
I was, like, married to, like, an Elon Musk, and it really examined that whole thing as well. Having A very complicated father daughter relationship with the astonishing Ray Romano. There was so much in there and you know, it's just sitting in a vault.
Dax Shepard
Why?
Kristen Milioti
We were part of the tax write off that Warner Brothers did where, remember they ripped a bunch of stuff off the platform.
Dax Shepard
Oh, they did. And just counted it as a loss or something.
Kristen Milioti
As a loss. It was like us, Westworld. That was the whole Coyote acme. What is that movie? And like Batgirl. We were part of that. So you can't even watch it.
Monica Padman
Oh, no, you're kidding me.
Kristen Milioti
You cannot watch it.
Dax Shepard
Can you not watch Westworld? Westworld.
Kristen Milioti
I think you can finally watch Westworld. But I know you can't find Made for Love and it's such a bummer.
Dax Shepard
Okay, so I'm a little bit aware of this strategy. I used to work for General Motors, and so they have a fleet of cars that they loan to journalists so they can review them. And then this fleet of cars, when that's done being lent out, they can't really sell it because it would be a liability. It's been driven on racetracks. I used to drive these cars to the crusher. They just crush, like brand new Corvette ZR1s. I was 16. I was like, oh my God, how do I get this car?
Kristen Milioti
Not so.
Dax Shepard
But yeah, they would crush it because then it's a total ride. I don't know if they still do this, but that's what they used to do. But yes, it's a complete write off of the full value of the car. And now the car doesn't exist. I didn't realize they could do that with movies and TV shows. That's heartbreaking. Do you want to make your fucking work vanish?
Kristen Milioti
Well, yeah. We worked on that show for three years. Wow. It's two full seasons.
Dax Shepard
That's the most you'd ever been given, clearly, right? I mean, that show is you.
Kristen Milioti
I'm going through a ton. I just had never seen like a world like that either. There's so much that exists in that hub where it's all virtual reality. They just were exploring stuff. There's also stuff on it that is. It is just such a big swing. I don't know if you watched season two. There's a character that has an affair with a dolphin.
Dax Shepard
Oh, yeah.
Kristen Milioti
It's really out there. I loved it.
Dax Shepard
It's going there too. That's where our tech's gonna go. It's like AI is gonna let us talk to dolphins. People are gonna fall in love with dolphins.
Kristen Milioti
This is like what it was exploring.
Dax Shepard
We've done more content on human dolphin affairs than any other show in history.
Monica Padman
We talk a lot about dolphin love.
Dax Shepard
We've got a whole conclusion.
Kristen Milioti
Well, then you're gonna want to petition to get killed for love.
Dax Shepard
Back in the Arnie, we decided the only other version is a male dolphin is allowed to date a female human.
Monica Padman
Huh. You do?
Dax Shepard
Fully. Fully.
Monica Padman
I'm not fully on that.
Dax Shepard
I'm not a male human.
Kristen Milioti
I'm not. Oh.
Dax Shepard
I certainly don't trust a female dolphin's in love. But a dolphin male is gonna decide whether they are intimate.
Kristen Milioti
I like the collab.
Monica Padman
Yeah, I get that.
Kristen Milioti
Yeah. I would just prefer separate to keep it.
Dax Shepard
Think of the laugh you and your dolphin husband will have in 20 years. When you're listening back to this interview.
Monica Padman
We had a armchair listener write in and tell us about his experience. He fell in love with this dolphin at an aquarium.
Dax Shepard
They had like a moment.
Monica Padman
Yeah. But he was like. It was real. I knew this dolphin. It knew me. We had a real connection. He didn't seem crazy. I really believed him.
Kristen Milioti
I can get behind that. I can't totally get behind, like, the sex part. Yeah, obviously. I understand. I even feel that with my dog, where I'm like, oh, we're really connected. And you were found on the street. That's wild.
Monica Padman
Do you think maybe you knew your dog before?
Kristen Milioti
I don't know.
Monica Padman
No, I'm really asking. I'm starting to really take on that theory.
Kristen Milioti
Yeah.
Monica Padman
We've known. Some of us.
Kristen Milioti
I do believe that.
Monica Padman
I think it's real. You don't.
Kristen Milioti
Well, it's okay.
Monica Padman
You don't have to.
Dax Shepard
I'm happy for you and love that you're open to astrology and you're open to that notion that makes life more fun and interesting. I'm almost envious.
Monica Padman
It's not necessarily actually lovers. It's like the dog where you're just like. This is not the first time.
Kristen Milioti
Totally. It's just like how people find each other. How do you find each other on this big planet? It would make sense to be like, we've met before. I don't think there's enough. Wow. I'm really gonna go out on a limb here. Atoms to go around. Isn't there like a whole thing with, like.
Monica Padman
That's the quote. We're gonna.
Kristen Milioti
Atoms and molecules that you can't get rid of them.
Monica Padman
Yeah. Energy can't be created or destroyed.
Kristen Milioti
So, like, we've shared atoms anyway.
Dax Shepard
Sure, sure. They're forming and reforming. Yeah.
Kristen Milioti
I can't tell if you're Glazing over.
Dax Shepard
No, not at all. I have kids. The closest thing I. Spirituality is through the children. In that I very much agree with the very common cliche, which is when you have kids, it feels like they've existed forever.
Kristen Milioti
Yes.
Dax Shepard
And that very much feels like. There's no way. These two little girls didn't always exist.
Monica Padman
They also kind of did. They lived in their mom that lived in the grandma.
Kristen Milioti
It's very cool.
Monica Padman
Yeah, it's cool. There's some spiritual stuff going on.
Dax Shepard
I'm coming to. Yes. Embrace that notion of you think of it as so split between my father and I, but there's no split. It has the illusion of a boundary. His body and my body, but they're so the same thing.
Kristen Milioti
I'm open to that part, but not open to astrology.
Dax Shepard
Not at all. No.
Monica Padman
Where do you land on astrology?
Kristen Milioti
Where do I land on astrology? I can understand that the time of year we're born can affect us. I don't put a ton of stock in it.
Monica Padman
That's fair.
Kristen Milioti
But I also sometimes will read about traits. I'm a Leo, and I'll read the trait of being a Leo, and I'll be like, ugh, that's me.
Monica Padman
Nailed it.
Kristen Milioti
Nailed it. And in a way, I think that sometimes makes me feel less judgmental of myself. Yeah.
Dax Shepard
Yeah.
Monica Padman
Forgiving.
Kristen Milioti
Yeah, That's a great quality. Oh, okay.
Monica Padman
That's very Leo to do that.
Dax Shepard
Yeah. When I read the Capricorn description, I'm like, yeah, that's spot on. But I also think if I read any description, you told me it was mine, I would.
Monica Padman
Yes.
Kristen Milioti
You can completely do that.
Monica Padman
Yours is so spot on. You're like a triple cat. What are you, a Virgo And I'm double Virgo?
Kristen Milioti
Yes.
Monica Padman
I'm laughing. It's so important.
Kristen Milioti
I know. But sometimes I love those conversations too.
Dax Shepard
I'm gonna read an authorized biography of you, and there's gonna be chapters. One's gonna be the Pit.
Monica Padman
Have you watched the Pit?
Kristen Milioti
I haven't watched the Pit, but I keep hearing about the Pit.
Monica Padman
It's great.
Dax Shepard
I'm gonna bring up the resort simply. Cause I just wanna say William Jackson Harper is like the sweetest royal lion.
Kristen Milioti
I love him so much. We've played husband and wife twice.
Dax Shepard
You have?
Kristen Milioti
Yes. In a play which I don't know if you would have seen. We have played a married couple on the brink of divorce twice.
Monica Padman
Ooh.
Kristen Milioti
And he's one of my favorite people on the planet. One of my favorite actors.
Dax Shepard
Yes.
Kristen Milioti
I love working with Him.
Dax Shepard
America will know him as Chidi.
Kristen Milioti
Yes.
Dax Shepard
If you watch the Good Place.
Kristen Milioti
I just love him.
Dax Shepard
Okay. Alas, we have landed at the Penguin. So how did you get this role? No. Yes. I also want to hear the Wicked audition story, which is so fantastic.
Kristen Milioti
They reached out to me and asked if I would meet with Lauren lefranc, our showrunner. Matt Reeves, who did the movie. Craig Zobel, who directed our first three episod. And they sent me just the first episode, and I sat with them on Zoom for two hours. Cause I'm a huge Batman fan. Oh, you were huge.
Dax Shepard
How would we define huge?
Kristen Milioti
As a kid, I had posters and outfits. I was like, a real disciple of Batman Returns.
Monica Padman
Oh, no. Were you in your cape while you had your shaved head?
Kristen Milioti
A cape would have really made it.
Dax Shepard
Put a bow on it.
Kristen Milioti
Yeah, no, I didn't have a cape then.
Dax Shepard
But Batman really attracts outcasts.
Kristen Milioti
When I look back on. Why would I have loved that so much as. Not that I want to analyze it too much, because I also loved Beetlejuice. I really love big worlds. And you know that. Tim Burton, Batman Returns. You're like, inside of a painting.
Monica Padman
Yeah.
Kristen Milioti
Michelle Pfeiffer. It is truly. Like, I'll show everyone who's ever bullied me.
Monica Padman
Yeah.
Kristen Milioti
That is kind of the vibe.
Dax Shepard
But, like, Superman's the jock in high school. You're gorgeous. But Batman, it's almost like Will Hunting, too. He is an outcast, but he has superpowers, and he's got all this wealth.
Kristen Milioti
Wait, what's Will Hunting?
Dax Shepard
Good Will Hunting.
Kristen Milioti
Never seen it. Sorry, you gotta go.
Dax Shepard
I think we gotta end this.
Monica Padman
You gotta go. Sorry, I can't continue on.
Kristen Milioti
Never seen it. But I've seen a couple scenes where they're like, who did this? Problem on the board.
Dax Shepard
Oh, no. Our notion is that we're different, but we're special. It's a very appealing archetype.
Kristen Milioti
I'm not terribly familiar with the Marvel Universe, but I think that there's a real good versus evil in that. In the way that Superman is. And in Batman, it's, like, really blurry because he's gone. Yes. Batman himself is on the right side of justice, but he's also going out dressed in a costume. He's so traumatized, and he's looking to put himself in these dangerous situations to right a wrong that was done to him. And so are the villains. And because none of them have superpowers. Interestingly, with your relationship to theater.
Dax Shepard
Yes.
Kristen Milioti
Like, I wish I could fly. And I would love to. And I think it's so cool.
Dax Shepard
But now we're in a completely different reality. Batman's seemingly could exist in reality, and so could Iron Man. Seemingly.
Kristen Milioti
It's like, why I think, oh, my God, get ready for this. But X Men, I was always like, ye. Cause I was like, I could see you could fill someone with an exoskeleton. There was, like, something around it. Not that I need to be 100% believing something, but, yeah, Batman seemed like it could happen. We're living in a world run by villains. It feels like sometimes right now they may not have capes or specific layers. Yeah, layers. Although I think they all do have layers.
Monica Padman
They kind of have layers.
Kristen Milioti
They do have layers, but it seems real.
Dax Shepard
And did you have to read at any point for them?
Kristen Milioti
Yeah. I had a test with Colin.
Dax Shepard
And was he in the full garb?
Kristen Milioti
He was. He was not. We read a scene together, the scene in the first episode where we have lunch and martinis and it's this long sit down. And I was incredibly nervous. And then I found out a couple days later.
Dax Shepard
But he's a sweetheart too, right? He was probably helpful.
Kristen Milioti
Salt of the earth, Sweetest.
Dax Shepard
Very Irish.
Kristen Milioti
I've really lucked out with. Co stars have all been really golden hearts. He is an extraordinary actor and an extraordinary human being.
Monica Padman
The first time you saw in the suit, the Penguin character, it was surreal.
Kristen Milioti
It was at a camera test. That makeup is so incredible. But, like, I'd watched the movies, it was sort of like, oh, the guy from the movie.
Monica Padman
Right.
Dax Shepard
You know, I didn't see the movie.
Kristen Milioti
It's really, really great.
Dax Shepard
Who's our Batman?
Kristen Milioti
Robert Pattinson. I love his interpretation because he really leans into the blurring of the line between someone who's so damaged going out looking to feel things hurt themselves. Yes. It's a great movie.
Monica Padman
Hearing that description of Batman, what you think is right. I'm really surprised you aren't more into Batman.
Dax Shepard
I do love Batman, and there's no reason I haven't seen the recent one, other than my kids probably wouldn't have watched it at the time. And I get to see very few movies. How old is it? 10 and 12.
Kristen Milioti
It's dark.
Dax Shepard
Yeah.
Kristen Milioti
This is the other thing Matt did so brilliantly. Burton is very heightened, and you're almost in an art deco. Matt's film feels like it's right now.
Dax Shepard
Darker than Nolan because Nolan went dark too. Those. Nolan went dark.
Kristen Milioti
Nolan went dark too. No, I would say they're of a world, they're different, but they both feel like you're in New York current day.
Dax Shepard
Yeah, in New York. Okay. So you play Sophia Falcone and you're the daughter of my boss, carmine. You've spent 10 years in Arkham. You're in there for 10 years. You're tortured.
Kristen Milioti
Yes.
Dax Shepard
And you've got a pretty sizable ax to grind.
Kristen Milioti
Yeah. Wrongfully imprisoned.
Dax Shepard
Okay. And I hate to have to always. And if I were you, I would kind of be annoyed by this because you gotta talk about Colin every time we talk about this, which is, I think, in a weird way, unfair to you. I don't know that Colin has to talk about you every interview he does. So that part feels unfair. But I'm gonna bring up only to say a, he's insanely talented. He is one of the greats. And he has the benefit of this enormous artifice, this huge prosthetic everything. So it's a very attention grabbing scene partner you have. But I want to say this, it's such a testament to you. You don't have nearly that amount of stuff to work with. And you're blasting him in scenes. You're just so fucking powerful and terrifying and subtle playing opposite.
Monica Padman
I mean, you're the one everyone has been talking about since the show came out. I mean, even though he's him, everyone's talking about your performance.
Kristen Milioti
That's very cool.
Dax Shepard
And I just think it's harder because you're up against a force of nature in a huge costume and you're just blasting and scaring all of us. And it's so impressive. Would you be afraid to say you're proud? Are you proud of that?
Kristen Milioti
I am proud of it.
Monica Padman
Good.
Kristen Milioti
I feel like I am proud of so many of the things I've been in, which is different than being like, I did a good job. Whenever I've watched things I've done, I've been like, mm, I would have done that differently. You can tinker with it forever, but I'm certainly very proud of that experience and of that character. I love that character so much.
Dax Shepard
I mean, It's a real two hander in a sense. The upside is 10, 12 years ago, this show would have been about the son of Carmel.
Kristen Milioti
Yeah. One of the other things I'm really proud of with this show, and this is a real testament to our showrunner Lauren, is that I've had a lot of interactions with people about Sophia, and it's with people who would not usually be part of the demo of watching a show that's in the Batman universe.
Dax Shepard
Like the old woman at the.
Kristen Milioti
Yes. Like an Older woman, actually. Women just say.
Dax Shepard
Women just say women.
Kristen Milioti
That's been really profound. And it is because she is such an outsider and she does this thing. She'd been very hurt.
Dax Shepard
We like that.
Kristen Milioti
Yeah. And then she lets everybody have it. There's a real escapism. And obviously, because you understand what she's been through. But to see her absolutely annihilate everyone who's ever wronged her and that she's in this world that keeps telling her that she's crazy and that she's not worth anything. And so I think that has reached a lot of people, which is very profound.
Monica Padman
It's very of the moment.
Dax Shepard
Or that you're in a sub dom relationship with the Doctor.
Kristen Milioti
Yeah.
Dax Shepard
It's so twisted. And I kind of love it.
Kristen Milioti
I did too. Even Colin and I. I haven't seen a relationship like that. There's a real chemistry there. But what is that chemistry? It's like the only other person can.
Dax Shepard
Feel each other's pain. Yes.
Kristen Milioti
And know how to twist the knife. But I don't know, like, how you would categorize the chemistry of those two characters.
Dax Shepard
Yeah. They should get married at some point.
Monica Padman
That is like. So the most intimate partner does have that ability to know your weaknesses.
Kristen Milioti
But it feels like familial or it's like kindred spirits is how I would describe it.
Dax Shepard
Yeah. It's just two very wounded people knew.
Monica Padman
Each other in another life.
Kristen Milioti
Yeah, sure, Sure.
Monica Padman
I mean, I guess we're circling that.
Kristen Milioti
With the Doctor, too. How do you quantify? I thought Lauren did that so beautifully. There's like these relationships where you're like, what is this? And not in a way where you're like, oh, and this is this, and this is that.
Monica Padman
Ambigu.
Kristen Milioti
It's ambiguous.
Dax Shepard
There'll be season two, right?
Kristen Milioti
We don't know.
Dax Shepard
How could you not know? It's a big hit. What are they waiting for?
Kristen Milioti
I don't know.
Dax Shepard
Wasn't it a huge hit?
Monica Padman
You gotta get on the phone.
Dax Shepard
I'm gonna call somebody.
Kristen Milioti
Yeah. Not that that shoot wasn't a challenge. It's like the middle of winter in New York, all nights. Really intense material. But I gotta say, it was such a golden experience. Our crew was incredible. The cast was incredible. From people who would come in for a day to, like, recurring. We all really loved it and believed in it.
Dax Shepard
It must have taken a long time to shoot. Looks impeccable.
Kristen Milioti
We also were shut down with the strikes for the six months in between. So it was eight months total or something. So it was like Four months, then six months off, then four months.
Dax Shepard
Okay. For eight episodes.
Kristen Milioti
Yeah. Long.
Dax Shepard
Yeah. I just love it because again, yeah. I'm not a big into superheroes. This is like a mob show to me.
Monica Padman
Yeah.
Kristen Milioti
It's like a mixture of both, which I really like. Cause then there are these moments where you're like, oh, my God, I'm in Gotham. It's Batman. That's like, what I loved about a lot of the Arkham stuff. For me, as a fan, I was like, oh, my God, the uniform. Oh, my God, we're back. Some of the other characters in Arkham in the comics go to be other villains.
Dax Shepard
It's a breeding ground.
Kristen Milioti
Yeah. It's so cool.
Dax Shepard
Okay. You got nominated for a Golden Globe. You got nominated for a SAG Award. You got nominated for Critics Choice Award. And then when do they nominate Emmy people?
Kristen Milioti
Soon, I think soon.
Dax Shepard
Okay, will you please tell us? This Wicked story is so funny.
Kristen Milioti
Oh, God.
Dax Shepard
You don't have to.
Kristen Milioti
You know I will. I just feel like I've told it so many times.
Dax Shepard
Okay, then you don't have to.
Kristen Milioti
No.
Monica Padman
But now I want to know.
Kristen Milioti
Basically, you've auditioned. There's nothing.
Dax Shepard
It's really something.
Kristen Milioti
And sometimes you go in on these things. I knew I couldn't hit that note. Do you know Wicked?
Monica Padman
Yeah. The movie and the play.
Kristen Milioti
Yeah.
Monica Padman
Are you talking about the play that.
Dax Shepard
You want to play? No, no, the John Chu movie. And for Elphaba. So she's got.
Kristen Milioti
You gotta hit this. You know the one.
Dax Shepard
Do it.
Kristen Milioti
I can't do it. I refuse that riff at the end when she transcends. Ascends and transcends, actually. I knew there was no way I was gonna hit it. But you have to say yes to the opportunity on that clip.
Dax Shepard
Absolutely. And do you start working with a vocal coach or anything to try to.
Kristen Milioti
Get yourself deep in Covid? Okay, so, like, no.
Monica Padman
And was it on Jim?
Kristen Milioti
No, it was in person for John. Yeah. Who was so lovely.
Dax Shepard
Oh, what a sweetheart.
Monica Padman
Oh, God. And is it one of those. You're in the waiting room.
Kristen Milioti
You're like hearing, oh, people fucking people.
Dax Shepard
Crush glass.
Kristen Milioti
Yeah, yeah. Break glass.
Monica Padman
And you're like, uh, oh, this is a nightmare.
Kristen Milioti
I spent so many years auditioning for musicals before. Once. And once matched the way I sing.
Dax Shepard
Yep.
Kristen Milioti
But before that, I would be in these for years, going in on these big musicals and just hearing through the door.
Dax Shepard
Kristen Chenoweth.
Kristen Milioti
Exactly. That type of voice. And then I would go in and I'd be like, I'm singing a Bob Dylan song. Yeah. I would sing oh Darling by the Beatles.
Monica Padman
Oh, my gosh, how sweet.
Kristen Milioti
I used to sing Carbon Monoxide by Regina Spector. Do you know that song?
Dax Shepard
Oh, you know that one?
Monica Padman
I know her. I don't know if I know that one.
Kristen Milioti
It to me sounded musical theatery, but it's about like killing yourself.
Monica Padman
Oh, wow.
Kristen Milioti
And I would go in because I was like, oh, I can give them a journey or something. And so I would be hearing glass breaking from behind the door. And then I would come in and I'd be like, I will be singing Carbon Monoxide by Regina Spector. You would just sort of slowly see them. Yeah, I mean, I tried and it eventually worked.
Monica Padman
Yeah, exactly.
Dax Shepard
I've heard her tell it. She's just haunted by the. For weeks.
Kristen Milioti
For weeks, that's all I could think about because I know it so well.
Dax Shepard
And she goes in and she said the noise. That came out tight.
Kristen Milioti
Tight, Vocally tight. Go through any YouTube compilation of national anthems gone wrong.
Dax Shepard
Yeah.
Kristen Milioti
And it's like that when they try to get to like. And the rock, like, but they started it too high. It was like, oh, God. Yeah.
Dax Shepard
They started at the very top of the range.
Kristen Milioti
When you can hear in a national anthem when someone's like, oh, say. And you're like, no, no, no, no, no. Oh, no, no, no, you're not gonna get there. You're not gonna get there. And it's that I knew there was no world in which were you, like.
Monica Padman
Can I start over? And it was again, again and again.
Dax Shepard
Oh, I'm so proud of you for putting yourself to keep doing it.
Kristen Milioti
I remember I auditioned a bunch of times for girls.
Dax Shepard
Oh, okay. New York actor.
Monica Padman
I could see. Yeah.
Kristen Milioti
Every 23 year old girl in New York City was gunning for that incredible show. And I auditioned a couple times for it. And then I remember watching it and I was like, oh my God. I was way off. Tone wise. I don't know what I thought it.
Dax Shepard
Was Sex in the City.
Kristen Milioti
I just saw Sex in the City for the first time. I had also not seen Sex in the City until recently. Another one of the greatest shows shows ever made. God, what was I doing? I was. I remember going back and thinking about my audition and I was playing it a real like, well, what do you wear, like four gals in New York? And I watched it and I was like, oh my God, Kristen. Yeah, I guess. Which is like totally what it is. Or just like four girls in New York just trying to get around or whatever. And then I watched it and I Was like, oh, my God. I really.
Dax Shepard
Yeah, it's a Sundance movie.
Kristen Milioti
Yeah. Like, no wonder.
Monica Padman
I have to say, I'm impressed that you went in for Wicked at this stage in your career, knowing this is gonna be hard for me because I think so many actors and actresses, once they hit a certain level, are not like, you gotta. They're like, I can't, and I don't want to embarrass myself. And now the stakes are like, things are going well.
Kristen Milioti
I was like, I can sing a lot of these songs. You do this delusional deal making with yourself where you're like, well, I love that musical so much. I knew that was in no way, shape or form a reality, but I was like, I'm gonna try.
Dax Shepard
Yeah, good for you.
Monica Padman
I think that's great.
Kristen Milioti
It's such a strange of our jobs sometimes. There's a comfort in it because sometimes I'll do jobs where they've just offered it to me. Very blessed to be in that position. But then you show up and you're like, hope you like what I've been working on. I remember there was a. Oh, my God, this is so embarrassing. I did an indie film when I was 25, and it was like the first time I'd been offered something without having to audition. And this woman had seen me do an episode of 30 Rock. I play this really big character, and it was like a small party, two or three scenes in this movie. And she was like, I'm giving you free reign to be a character. And I was like, oh, my God, this is my dream for weeks with these three scenes. I was like, okay, she's gonna be this pill addled, sort of stumbling on heels. I was going for Catherine o' Hara crossing the field on Best in Show.
Dax Shepard
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Monica Padman
Great.
Kristen Milioti
Yeah. I got there and we did the first scene and I began, and she was like, stop. What are you.
Dax Shepard
Who is this doing?
Kristen Milioti
And I was like, what am I doing?
Monica Padman
You're like, great question. I feel like.
Kristen Milioti
And like, I'd watched Claire of Anna Nicole Smith. She was supposed to be this party girl that always said a loud thing at a party.
Monica Padman
Like a Samantha type.
Kristen Milioti
Not even Samantha's more together, just really out of it. But I'd really missed the mark. And so they held for a second while she took me aside. And she was like, yeah, I don't think you can do that. Can you just do a Southern accent? And I was like, yeah, yes, absolutely. A Southern accent, Sure. A region or. You're so humiliated. And then I Was like, yeah, give me five minutes.
Monica Padman
Yeah, exactly.
Kristen Milioti
And then I, like, ran to my honey wagon.
Dax Shepard
Cry for four of them.
Kristen Milioti
Cry for four of them. For a minute. I'm going to just try to be.
Dax Shepard
Like, well, we got to bury the body.
Kristen Milioti
We got to bury the body. And also, people aren't stupid. It was a group scene. It was a group scene of a dance at someone's house too, where my character walks onto the dance floor to no music, everyone doing that, like, horrible shuffle. And I walk in to be like, hey, such and such heard about the thing. And then they were like, God. So also, everyone else is now gonna see me do take two with an accent. So anyway, deeply humbling.
Dax Shepard
What an endeavor. Well, this segues perfectly into my last question, which is you're being thoroughly recognized as you deserve. But it's happening 20 years into your career. You turned 40 this year.
Kristen Milioti
Yes.
Dax Shepard
I guess my question is, do you have gratitude that it was delayed?
Kristen Milioti
Immense.
Dax Shepard
Tell me, how would 25 year old you or 30 year old you have handled.
Kristen Milioti
I'm immensely grateful that it's happened in stages. I've gotten to be a part of things that I have genuinely believed in and would watch and worked with people. And it's been a long but steady ride. When I look at the pressure on people in their early 20s who get recognized in a way. You've been to award shows, they are really intense.
Dax Shepard
Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Kristen Milioti
There are many things at once. You're seeing people that you haven't seen in a while who are friends, and it's very joyful. But you're being filmed the whole time. You're wearing clothes that you wouldn't wear, that you're not comfortable in, but that you feel fabulous in. Everything has a dichotomy to it every step of the way. To stand on a red carpet and get your name screamed by 80 people is extremely unnatural.
Dax Shepard
Yeah, yeah.
Kristen Milioti
And every time it happens, I walk away being like, I feel that feeling when, like your car goes over a hill.
Dax Shepard
It feels dangerous A little bit.
Kristen Milioti
Yes. And then each time I have to be like, oh, yeah, yeah. That's not natural. Not a position you would normally find yourself in. Yeah.
Monica Padman
Like it's okay to not get used to that.
Kristen Milioti
Yes. If I were in those situations when I was younger, it's pressure. I'm so glad that I got to be in my early twenties in New York just messing up. And I think I also understand too, more in a way that I may not have when I was younger. The chaos of it all and the Beauty of it all and the machine of it all. I've peeked behind some curtains at this point, and that doesn't make me any less grateful for those curtains.
Dax Shepard
Yeah. Yeah.
Monica Padman
Back then, when it was happening, when you were in all these things, but you weren't necessarily on the COVID of all of these things.
Kristen Milioti
Sure.
Monica Padman
Did you have resentment then, were you? Like, why am I not? I mean, all these things. I'm working all the time.
Kristen Milioti
No, I had that when I was working really consistently in huge off Broadway, you know, Lincoln Center, Playwrights Horizons, New York Theatre Workshop institutions in New York. And I was broke. Couldn't afford an AC unit. I couldn't afford my cell phone. And I couldn't understand how I was working but starving. And I remember feeling real frustrated at being. But I don't know what else to do. And certainly when I would lose out on certain jobs, I would audition in pilot season for anything from a sorority sister to dead body and trunk, and I wouldn't get them. And I would be like, what am I doing wrong? Why isn't this not even happening in. Why aren't I such and such. But just, why can't I afford a cell phone? Right. And yet I'm getting the validation of being in all these plays and working with, like, these incredible people. So that I would say it's a lot of dissonance. Yeah, that was very frustrating.
Monica Padman
Yeah.
Kristen Milioti
I'm very grateful that I've been able to take the time that I have.
Dax Shepard
It's kind of the theme of the year. A little bit like Goggins, I was.
Monica Padman
About to say, so. Walton Goggins.
Dax Shepard
Yeah, it's very Walton Goggins, where it's just like, oh, right. I now remember that this guy's been great for the last 20 years, and I've been.
Monica Padman
He's been in everything and been great in everything. And now people are really starting to say his name.
Dax Shepard
Years old, he's on the COVID of everything.
Kristen Milioti
I also forget this is not the first time I've been asked this. You've been at this for a while, and maybe that's a layer of the imposter syndrome or something, but I consistently think I've only been at this for a couple years.
Dax Shepard
Oh, okay.
Kristen Milioti
It's so odd. And then it's only when it's presented to me.
Dax Shepard
Yeah. How do you hear that observation?
Kristen Milioti
I'm so touched by it. I think it's that thing of. In my head, I always feel like I'm maybe 27.
Dax Shepard
Right, right, right, right, right, right.
Kristen Milioti
I don't know what that thing is called? Is that called being alive?
Dax Shepard
Four years ago.
Kristen Milioti
Right. That all feels very fresh still. I constantly Forget that I'm 39.
Dax Shepard
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Kristen Milioti
Always I'm like, oh, me? No.
Dax Shepard
Yeah. Wait till you're 50. Well, this has been a delight. And you've so earned all this attention and fanfare. You're fucking crazy talented. Thank you. So I'm really happy for you.
Kristen Milioti
Thank you.
Monica Padman
We're happy for that little girl with.
Kristen Milioti
I am too.
Dax Shepard
You should go to the Emmys and recreate that exact look. They even get reverse invisaligns now.
Monica Padman
The irony, cuz you do have a ton of status. Everyone would be like, she's so cool.
Kristen Milioti
Oh my God. Yeah. She gave herself an uneven Venezuelan.
Dax Shepard
What a gangster.
Kristen Milioti
I know. I wonder where she is now.
Monica Padman
Yeah.
Dax Shepard
Well, Kristen, delightful meeting you.
Kristen Milioti
So nice to meet you.
Dax Shepard
It's been a pleasure.
Kristen Milioti
Thank you so much for having me.
Dax Shepard
Everyone watch the Penguin if you haven't already. He didn't spoil anything. Even though I wanted to. Stay tuned for more armchair expert if you dare. We are supported by Liquid iv. If you're feeling rundown, have lower energy than usual or getting headaches. Did you know dehydration could be contributing to that? Get this. 20 to 30% of older adults are chronically dehydrated and 75% of US adults don't meet their daily water requirements. If you might be in that statistic, you gotta try Liquid iv. They're small, convenient packs that you mix into water to provide you with long lasting hydration. That's going to help you feel your best, whether you're crushing a workout or just going about your day to day.
Monica Padman
You know, all I do is talk about electrolytes.
Dax Shepard
I know. Well, I just love the convenience. So I'm about to go to New York and I just pop in five little packages and I barely notice they're in there. And then I just add them to my water and I'm straight. Break the mold and own your ritual. Just one stick of Liquid IV gives you three times the electrolytes than the leading sports drink. And with tons of delicious flavors, you're not only going to love how you feel, you're going to love how it tastes too. Give yourself the power of extraordinary hydration from Liquid IV. Get 20 off your first order of Liquid IV when you go to LiquidIV.com and use code DAX at checkout. That's 20% off your first order with code DAX@liquidiv.com. we are supported by Michigan. Oh, I'm such a proud Michigander. I love Michigan. The people, the nature. In summertime in Michigan, I'm telling you, I would put it up against any place in the world. It's such a beautiful state and it's a great place for everyone, especially kids to experience all four seasons with beaches, trails and snow a stone's throw away. What you may not know is Michigan is also a great place to work. You can have a quality lifestyle and a rewarding tech career. The fast growing and rapidly evolving automotive and clean energy industries offer opportunities for career advancement no matter what your skill level. Plus, Michigan offers accessible housing, exciting nightlife and an inclusive community for all. It's really a one of a kind place. And do not forget the lakes. Lakes, Lakes, Lakes, Lakes, Lakes. Live your best 9 to 5 and 5 to 9. You can in Michigan. Go to themichiganlife.org to learn more. We are supported by Welch's Zero Sugar. New Welch's Zero Sugar is a refreshing beverage made with real vibrant fruit flavors and zero grams of sugar. It's the perfect drink to enjoy this summer as the weather gets warmer. Enjoy Welch's Zero Sugar by the pool or at the beach, camping, hiking or any of your favorite summer activities. It's available in 10 ounce six packs that are perfect for those on the go. Summertime adventures. You bet your buns that they're going to be on the pontoon boat.
Monica Padman
Oh, that's so delightful.
Dax Shepard
Yes. Cracking open a little grape oil.
Monica Padman
Oh, I love the grape.
Dax Shepard
It's available in a variety of delicious flavors and sizes. They've got real fruit flavors like tropical punch, strawberry, concord grape and passion fruit. It's also a great source of vitamin C. And with zero grams of sugar per serving, there are zero compromises or sacrifices on taste. It might not make sense how a zero sugar drink could tastes so good. You just gotta sip it to get it. Find Welch's Zero Sugar in both the juice and refrigerated aisles. I sure hope there weren't any mistakes in that episode, but we'll find out when my mom, Mrs. Monica, comes in and tells us what was wrong. What?
Monica Padman
Nothing.
Dax Shepard
Talk to me.
Monica Padman
No, nothing off the record.
Dax Shepard
Talk to me.
Monica Padman
No, no. Everything's great.
Dax Shepard
Everything's golden.
Monica Padman
It's just busy, busy. Yeah.
Dax Shepard
You had to not come to a movie last night.
Monica Padman
I know. Was it great?
Dax Shepard
It was great. It was great. Yeah.
Monica Padman
I'm sad about that. It was the right decision. I will say that. But. But I do really want to see it. But I'll just see it in the movie theater.
Dax Shepard
I Wonder if you'll see it earlier than that. But yes, you would. Well, let me ask you. No, I can't ask you because then we'd be.
Monica Padman
Yeah, we don't to want to give it away, but we have a guest coming up that we are.
Dax Shepard
People are kind of guessing.
Monica Padman
Whatever we are, we're so excited about and has been a long time coming and is a scary one.
Dax Shepard
Scary.
Monica Padman
And we were invited to see a movie that she's in. We were invited to see a project early and I, the timing was great.
Dax Shepard
Because my brother and sister in law are visiting and I got to see my A real shooter. Like hey, do you want to come to the screen with me? It's a movie they're dying to see. So I felt like I was so cool.
Monica Padman
You're the cool brother.
Dax Shepard
I felt cool for those two and a half hours.
Monica Padman
Yeah. But I had to miss it because of work. Yeah. It's just a busy week. We're heading into the summer.
Dax Shepard
Have I publicly thanked you already about editing? I mean, I tried to occasionally, but I'm in a wave right now really having renewed gratitude. Right. Because I'm editing and, and it's, it's miserable. Editing is miserable. It's absolutely miserable.
Monica Padman
There are days. So yesterday I was going to edit two.
Dax Shepard
Uhhuh.
Monica Padman
And I was in one and I started at 1:30 and I ended at six and I was like, oh, I, I, I actually like I can't do it. I can't do another one. And I don't think if you haven't edited, you don't understand that feeling. It's like, well, you could have, you could have pushed yourself and you could have, but your brain will shut down.
Dax Shepard
Well, I'll add too. And do you have this experience? So I'll do these chunks on days off we don't have. I try to do two episodes in those days. Yeah. And it's like seven, eight hours of editing.
Monica Padman
Yeah.
Dax Shepard
And what happens is for me, I slowly start hating everything I hear. Like it's just like, I don't know, towards the end I'm like, just cut everything. I don't want to hear anyone ever talk again. And so like you're wondering if the decisions you're making are the same at the end of the episodes. They were at the beginning.
Monica Padman
Yes.
Dax Shepard
Yeah. I mean you probably don't have that because you do it so much.
Monica Padman
Yeah, I don't, I don't have that because there is no, there's no end. Right. Like, like you're editing a project that's yeah.
Dax Shepard
I'm doing 12.
Monica Padman
You're doing 12.
Dax Shepard
And there's an end in sight.
Monica Padman
There's an end in sight. So I could. I could almost see that being in some ways worse because it's like, I just. This. I gotta be done with this.
Dax Shepard
I haven't accepted that I have to do this.
Monica Padman
Yes.
Dax Shepard
Yeah. There's still that, like, yeah.
Monica Padman
But I am. It is funny that you brought that up and we're talking about it, because I'm also, as I warned you on the last fact check, I think I am PMSing this week.
Dax Shepard
This week? I thought that was next week.
Monica Padman
Nope, this week.
Dax Shepard
Okay.
Monica Padman
So right now, this period will start hopefully on Friday.
Dax Shepard
Do you have your Nexis?
Monica Padman
I have these ready to go.
Dax Shepard
They're laid out like a flat, man. They're. They're just stacked up ready to go.
Monica Padman
Yeah. They're prepped and ready folded.
Dax Shepard
They're on deck.
Monica Padman
Yeah. But along with the Ziploc baggies, you.
Dax Shepard
Got to have them. Yeah.
Monica Padman
No, I don't want to be on the record saying I don't do that because I don't need it.
Dax Shepard
I did, though, but it's great for people. So it was a very polarizing debate, and people landed on all sides of it. Some people agreed with me. Most people agreed with you.
Monica Padman
What did they agree with you? What did they say?
Dax Shepard
Like, I'd be. I would be way more embarrassed about undies falling out than tampons, which, you know, some people are like, fuck, now. You know, much more. But a lot of people were like, yeah, I flow heavier than Monica. Like, I gotta. I can't get away with.
Monica Padman
I understand that. I've heard that as an explanation for why you should use the cup if.
Dax Shepard
You got a ton of.
Monica Padman
Just. Yeah. So anyway, I would see that as.
Dax Shepard
A sign of great health. Just my proclivities. I wonder how I would deal with having a menstrual cycle. Because my greatest days are like a day and one just happened where it's like I go number two.
Kristen Milioti
Oh, my God.
Dax Shepard
And it's so robust, of course, where I go, oh, I must not have been going the last couple days. This is like, where did all this come from? I love that. Or a big booger.
Monica Padman
Okay, listen, part of that's the. Because then you feel better after. Like, you feel lighter. You feel. That doesn't happen on a period. It's not like you had a heavy flow and now you feel better. But I will say so. Thank you for bringing this up. I do struggle mentally sometimes with a Light flow. Like, I'm like, oh, my. I'm done. Like, this is a sign of perimenopause. Like, I'm definitely in perimenopause. I'm probably, like, about to hit menopause.
Dax Shepard
The eggs are out now. The blood's out.
Monica Padman
Exactly. And we're done now. Like, we're heading towards no period. But that's my hypochondriacal inclination, and I don't want that.
Dax Shepard
So don't. Don't reinforce that line of thinking.
Monica Padman
Last night, I thought maybe I had also a new disease.
Dax Shepard
Oh, what new disease?
Monica Padman
Because my foot. Sometimes my foot. Foot has, like, kind of this numb. Like, this side of my foot here.
Dax Shepard
Yeah. The inside.
Monica Padman
The inside, where your step is sometimes has a numbness or, like, a weird tingly feeling. A weird feeling.
Dax Shepard
Some kind of neuropathy.
Monica Padman
Yeah. So yesterday I was starting to slip into. Oh, I think it's.
Dax Shepard
And you started Googling.
Monica Padman
I didn't Google, but I was like, oh, I have als.
Dax Shepard
Oh, that. You went straight to neurological disorder.
Monica Padman
Yes.
Dax Shepard
And.
Monica Padman
And then I. But then I immediately thought, if I think it, I'll get it. So I can't think it.
Dax Shepard
That's right. Can't get psychosomatic.
Monica Padman
But then that's, you know, that's its own thing. So I put socks on, and I ignored it.
Dax Shepard
Oh, great. That's a ding, ding, ding. I have entered, and I think this is a real period, period. Ding, ding, ding, period. Pun intended. I have. And I've embarked on my slipper phase of my life.
Monica Padman
Whoa.
Dax Shepard
Yeah. I got a pair of. Like, I just. Like, I. I was recently feeling. There's all these times I want to run out to grab food from the driveway or whatever, and I don't want to put on my tight shoes.
Monica Padman
Yes.
Dax Shepard
Seemed like I was time. And I got a pair of really comfortable slippers, and I'm realizing, oh, this is a whole era of your life. Once you start walk around in slippers, it's.
Monica Padman
Oh, wow. I. I'm shook a little bit. Like, it's a. It is a real indicator of.
Dax Shepard
It's an end to an era, maybe. Yeah.
Monica Padman
Yeah.
Dax Shepard
Like, I'm prioritizing my comfort.
Monica Padman
Wow. I just.
Dax Shepard
And I hate bending over to put shoes on so I can just slide these on. Like, it's definitely a harbinger of probably bad things to come. But also, I kind of like, well, I'm glad you played volleyball in my slippers. Hurt my shoulder. That.
Monica Padman
Yeah, that's not good for volleyball.
Dax Shepard
No, but it was. I was in them and they're comfortable and dad, can you practice? And then I'm just playing in my slippers.
Monica Padman
Yeah, but slippers can be slippery.
Dax Shepard
They are slippery.
Monica Padman
You definitely should not play volleyball. Okay.
Dax Shepard
Okay. And then additionally, as I said, my brother and my sister in law are. And she's been in her slipper phase for seven or eight years.
Monica Padman
Oh wow.
Dax Shepard
Post menopause or middle of probably maybe related. But I. I realize like oh, she's really knows how to do it the second we get home. Like anything post lunch.
Monica Padman
Uh huh.
Dax Shepard
If she gets home, those slippers are on immediately.
Monica Padman
So she packs her slippers.
Dax Shepard
She is in on trips full center of her slipper face. And so I'm finding I'm with her at like 5:30 in the evening. Evening. She has her slippers on, I have my shoes on. And she's like, you should already have your slippers on. And I'm like, I know.
Monica Padman
Teaching you.
Dax Shepard
I'm not fully like I haven't learned the lifestyle all the way yet.
Monica Padman
The life.
Dax Shepard
I'm not putting them on early enough.
Monica Padman
You know, the lifestyle is swinging, you know?
Dax Shepard
Yeah. That's my lifestyler move is I wear slippers. I. I may start wearing them in here on days that we don't have a.
Monica Padman
Okay.
Dax Shepard
How do you feel about that?
Monica Padman
Okay. I have a question about slippers. Now your house is tricky because even though you hate to admit it, it's large and made of tons of houses actually.
Dax Shepard
Okay.
Monica Padman
So you have to walk outside to get to places to get like to your gym or to whatever.
Dax Shepard
My garage.
Monica Padman
Yes, studio. The studio. Exactly. So for me, if a slipper touches the outside, it's thrown in the garbage.
Dax Shepard
That makes sense.
Monica Padman
It's a house slipper. It is meant for inside the house specifically so that you aren't dressed dragging in stuff.
Dax Shepard
Yeah. And so you're outing me. But yes, I'll own it. We are a shoes on in the house family.
Monica Padman
Yeah.
Dax Shepard
Some people will think that's disgusting.
Monica Padman
Sure.
Dax Shepard
But what's funny is I'm actually having a harder time wrapping my head around I might want Nashville to be a shoes off house.
Monica Padman
Whoa.
Dax Shepard
Because I'm thinking there's gonna be kids there endlessly. A yard to really play in and get dirty.
Kristen Milioti
Okay.
Dax Shepard
And do I want this whole brand new house to be filthy outdoor space stuff? And then I'm like, we're so not a shoes off people. I can't even like what that's challenging to my identity is way bigger than.
Monica Padman
It should be because it's like the white Christmas light It is.
Dax Shepard
It's like snooty and fancy. Yep. And what do you. Take your shoes out. What are you talking about?
Monica Padman
Take your shoes off.
Kristen Milioti
Your shoes.
Dax Shepard
Yeah.
Monica Padman
Yeah. I feel that I'm a.
Dax Shepard
But I want that I want shoes off in Nashville. And I'm afraid to. To declare that.
Monica Padman
Well, it's coincided.
Dax Shepard
When you come over this summer and I say to you, hey, shoes by the door. I gotta figure out something cute.
Monica Padman
Yeah. I think you're gonna need some sort of cute phrase.
Dax Shepard
Don't let our shoes get lonely. Put your shoes with them. That needs some work. But what would be your first thought when you heard me say, you can't wear your shoes in the house?
Monica Padman
If I had. If we hadn't had this pre. Talk.
Dax Shepard
Yeah.
Monica Padman
I would have laughed.
Kristen Milioti
Yeah.
Monica Padman
At you.
Dax Shepard
Like, who are you?
Monica Padman
Yeah. Well. And then for me, that. That triggers my own stuff.
Dax Shepard
He's changing.
Monica Padman
I don't know him. He's changing. He. I knew it.
Dax Shepard
I knew that this money would infect him in.
Monica Padman
In not as funny, this southern life.
Dax Shepard
Like, oh, you would chalk it up to this.
Monica Padman
Just like, oh, he has this extra house now.
Dax Shepard
White.
Monica Padman
And. And he's extra white in the south and he's hoity toity in the South. All. All the people that made me feel brown now he's like, he's one of them. One of them. And I thought I knew him, but I don't even know him anymore. And then I would cry.
Dax Shepard
You're teasing. And you're not. And it's really. It's true. People just assign whatever previous baggage they had to any situation. That's the explanation. Like, you. You've got like a handful explanations in your life. Me, all people.
Monica Padman
Yeah.
Dax Shepard
And then no matter what situation, you're like, oh, it's that thing that I already figured out when I was 12.
Monica Padman
No, but not really. It depends on who it is. Like if I go to a random house and they say, shoes off. I don't think that I'm not like, oh, hoity toy. I don't have that. I'm like, oh, they just don't want dirt. But with you. Because I've. I've been around you so many times where you were. Shoes in your bed. Okay. So the fact that.
Dax Shepard
Don't say that. But.
Monica Padman
Well, I've seen it that I. I would be like, what?
Dax Shepard
Just to be clear on that.
Monica Padman
On top of your bed.
Dax Shepard
On top. I have on top of my bed. And I very rarely. But there's occasions I've seen. I've got like My cleaner vans on, and I'm like, I'm not gonna put my head at the bottom there at any point.
Monica Padman
So even this, even this, you're. You're even getting self conscious about this. You used to not care at all.
Dax Shepard
I'm changing. I'm becoming. I guess we are becoming an old white man who wears slippers with you.
Monica Padman
I want you to wear slippers outside because it's keeping you still kind of dirty shithead.
Dax Shepard
Yeah, shit bird.
Monica Padman
You're not elite.
Dax Shepard
But I have a friend who's also very famous. So anytime anyone who's really famous does something, I'm quick to associate it with them being so famous. I think that's really normal.
Monica Padman
Okay.
Dax Shepard
Like, something's different. And then you go, your brain just quickly catalogs what else is really different about them. So that might well, like, likely be the explanation. Like, you know, your friends are Orthodox Jews and you're at their house and they say, could you please hang the towel in a. You know, just something that's different. And you go, oh, I bet it's about them being Orthodox. I was like, anything you don't understand? And then, you know, there's this one thing different about them. You're like, oh, that's probably part of being Orthodox.
Monica Padman
I guess that's true. I think it's a little different with religions because there are, like, rules and stuff. Being famous, which is just.
Dax Shepard
You're still a person, but there's also just cultural stuff. Like, I would. If something seen happened in your family house that was abnormal to me, I would probably go, it's probably because they're Indian. I would. I would think it's from like something that your parents did, you know, still, it'd be a high probability guess.
Monica Padman
Oh, my God.
Dax Shepard
I think that's different than racism.
Monica Padman
It's stereotypes.
Dax Shepard
Well, it is. I don't understand this custom. This custom wasn't around me where I grew up. And I know that he's from India. This custom must come from India, even.
Monica Padman
Though I grew up in the United States.
Dax Shepard
No, this is not your house. I would never be at my parents. But if I was at your parents house and your dad only ate toast out of a cereal bowl, let's say. Okay, hang on. So nobody eats toast out of a cereal bowl.
Monica Padman
That must be what could explain it.
Dax Shepard
Okay, I bet in India they eat their toast in a cereal bowl. Don't you think that would be like the highest probability guess?
Monica Padman
But this is what I am actively against.
Dax Shepard
You're fighting this. I know.
Monica Padman
Yeah. That you just make not you the royal you, but you. You're calling yourself out for this.
Dax Shepard
And now the TV show you, which you also talk a lot about now.
Monica Padman
That anything a little different is associated with being a different type of per. A different ethnicity is bad.
Dax Shepard
Anything. So if I go to a nuclear physicist's, there's something different. I go, oh, I bet these in this is something the engineer. I figure out the thing that I don't share in common with them and I explain the other thing I don't share in common with them as the explanation.
Monica Padman
Okay, but how come with if my dad is eating toast out of a cereal bowl, you're not saying, oh, it's cuz he's an engineer.
Dax Shepard
Okay, so I might. But I'm going probabilistically. I'm first going, well, he's from a totally different country. There's 23 years of his life in a country that I don't know any of the customers. And if I said, oh, Ashok, I noticed you're eating your toast out of a cereal bowl. That's unique. Is that an Indian thing? And he would go, no. Then I would go, okay, what's the next thing I know is he and I don't have any overlap problem.
Monica Padman
I think what I would love is. Let me coach you. Okay, first of all, let's never say is that an Indian thing?
Dax Shepard
You think your dad wouldn't like that?
Monica Padman
I don't like it.
Dax Shepard
I know you don't.
Monica Padman
And I don't like it on behalf of him.
Dax Shepard
I know never say to you is that Indian thing.
Monica Padman
I don't want you to say it to him. If I overheard that, you'd.
Dax Shepard
I'd be in trouble. I know if this at me, I would, I would. I know that and you're. And I know that would happen. And I wouldn't do it in front of you. Is it possible though, that your dad wouldn't care about that? In. In that par. Pari wouldn't care about that?
Monica Padman
It's about the very specific phrasing. I guess you could say, first of all, my dad doesn't care about anything. So yes, you could. You could say whatever the you want. He's not precious about anything to maybe detriment. But I think if you were gonna say it in a way that I would feel comfortable.
Dax Shepard
Yeah.
Monica Padman
Did you grow up eating your toast in a cereal. Cereal bowl? I've never seen that before.
Dax Shepard
And so yeah, I would have phrased it right. Like that would be the correct way to phrase it. But also all the other stuff really just happened because it's very logical.
Monica Padman
It bums me out. Maybe because I'm in my luteal phase, but.
Dax Shepard
Well, I understand why it bums you up because that's an inane example of it. And then there's really bad examples of it.
Monica Padman
Okay, hold on. It's inane to you. It's not a name to me who's been othered by that my whole life.
Dax Shepard
It's not a name to you.
Monica Padman
So let me.
Dax Shepard
I think it might be a name to your dad.
Monica Padman
Can't use him. He is. He is not a good. He is not a good measure.
Dax Shepard
He's not a good man.
Monica Padman
Now he's a too good of a man. He's too good. Really. Now how about this? If I, If I was at your house.
Kristen Milioti
Yeah.
Monica Padman
And you ate your steak with your hand.
Dax Shepard
You like picked a potato chip.
Monica Padman
Yeah, exactly. No, like, more like a hamburger. Like you picked up the steak. Steak with two hands and bit into an. Ate it.
Kristen Milioti
Yeah.
Monica Padman
And I, I'd be like, whoa, I've never seen that. Is that something that happens in trailer parks?
Dax Shepard
Well, first of all, I don't mind that question.
Monica Padman
Okay. What if I asked Aaron?
Dax Shepard
Yeah, he wouldn't mind either.
Monica Padman
You would mind if I saw Aaron. You said that to Aaron and I said, oh, is that like a trailer park thing?
Dax Shepard
Yes, true. Point, point, point received. But would you agree trailer park is never used in a positive way. It's only a burn. And. And you have a gut feeling of. Any questions about India are implicitly negative, whereas I don't associate. Is that an Indian thing? Isn't. Is that a trailer park thing? To me there is, There's a hierarchy of judgment in. Is that a trailer park thing or is that an Indian thing? Indian things is like a cultural, national thing because you.
Monica Padman
That you know people who were judged for living in trailer parks. I don't.
Dax Shepard
Right. I know people were very insecure about being. Yeah. From a trailer park.
Monica Padman
It's the same thing.
Dax Shepard
But I think for you it is because you're insecure about that. Rightly so. But I don't think your dad is like, I don't think it's an insecurity of your dad's to talk about stuff that was normal in India and different here.
Monica Padman
I know, but you're using him as such. You're.
Dax Shepard
I'm hanging a lot on him. But I would also hang a lot on Pari.
Monica Padman
I wouldn't feel comfortable with you being that open with Pari. Like, is that an Indian thing? We don't know him well enough. I don't know his whole relationship.
Dax Shepard
Yeah, yeah.
Monica Padman
To being Indian. Obviously he likes talking about it and he's comfortable with it. He's comfortable with it, but it's. These things are complicated.
Dax Shepard
They are complicated. But it does start with what is your own feeling about the top topic being brought up?
Monica Padman
It should be the person who's experienced it that gets to dictate it.
Dax Shepard
Absolutely. Which is why I am conceding and saying I wouldn't ever ask you that.
Monica Padman
Oh, my God.
Dax Shepard
I am making a prediction of how I think your dad would take it, which maybe is right or wrong.
Monica Padman
So how do you think Aaron would take it?
Dax Shepard
I don't think he'd mind.
Monica Padman
Okay. But you would mind.
Dax Shepard
I would be nervous. Well, not around you.
Monica Padman
No. If I said it.
Dax Shepard
Yeah, if you said it, we're fine. Because Aaron knows you.
Monica Padman
Yeah.
Dax Shepard
And he knows you want the best for him and you're. You don't think poorly of him or that he's a low life.
Monica Padman
No. But wouldn't you be like, what the is she doing? You would and you should. Me having. Knowing your background, knowing his background, knowing that those things have been used against him. It would be so insensitive for me to be like, hey, is that a trailer park thing? I don't under. Just cuz I don't understand it. And that's the different thing about us, for sure.
Dax Shepard
And also, there are some stuff you can say about trailer parks. I mean, there's a reality in the world. As I've said before, like, the average level of intoxication on a weekday afternoon in Aaron's trip trailer park was much different than the average intoxication rate elsewhere.
Monica Padman
Right.
Dax Shepard
You know, that is also a reality of it. So it's like you're kind of. I think you're. What you're trying to do is be honest about the world you live in and not hurt people's feelings. And sometimes those things are against one another, if that makes sense.
Monica Padman
If you're curious, you can ask it in a way that's not important, implying that it's something. So, like, if I saw him eat a steak with two hands.
Dax Shepard
Yeah.
Monica Padman
Maybe I'd be like, actually, I mean, I know me. I would just be like, well, that's how he eats it, man.
Dax Shepard
Look at him. No, look at this guy go.
Monica Padman
When you do grow up as a minority, everything's different. Like, so you don't have the luxury of being like, oh, that must be different because of this. Or that must be. It's like, yeah, it's all, everything's different now.
Dax Shepard
Let me ask you this though. If you walked into like you had had your experience of living with other girls a lot as roommates and I even went to your old apartment where you had a bunch of female roommates and like you guys would like cook dinners together sometimes and there's just all kinds of stuff that's kind of predictable in that sense area.
Monica Padman
Oh sure, yeah.
Dax Shepard
And I'm sure if you walked into an apartment that four dudes lived in and you're like, oh wow, X, Y and Z is different. There's a bong on the table, there's dishes in the sink, there's. Your brain would logically and rightly so, I think go, well this is a much different scenario in here. What's different? And it would be right for you to go like, oh yeah, this is boys.
Monica Padman
Yeah.
Dax Shepard
Right. Like there's an explanation for it. And I think you would be right and logical to start with. What's the biggest difference between you and your three roommates and these four people? Well, this is four dudes and that's four.
Monica Padman
But the difference is. That's correct.
Dax Shepard
Huh?
Monica Padman
The, the toast out of the bowl and the eating the steak with two hands are not because of what you're.
Dax Shepard
We don't know though.
Monica Padman
Well, I do know that that's not an Indian tradition.
Dax Shepard
Well, I know because it was made up. He doesn't, doesn't do it.
Monica Padman
Yeah. And either is eating steak with two hands. But the whole point is like wait. Because what you're bringing up is something that you really don't under. You're like, oh, that's new. Seeing a bong in a basically a frat house isn't new. I've seen it. Right.
Dax Shepard
But if it's just trashed inside and you're trying to figure out why these people live in a trash place and you and your friends don't. I think it would be right of you if your life depended on it to make a prediction of what, why it's different to assume it's cuz they're boys and you're girls.
Monica Padman
I think if you came into my parents house and they had a picture of, of Krishna on the wall.
Dax Shepard
Yeah.
Monica Padman
I think you could probably indefinitely deduce that that's because they're Indian.
Dax Shepard
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Monica Padman
Okay. Yeah. I don't think you can see like a bouncy ball in water on the counter and say oh, that must be Indian for sure.
Dax Shepard
I think both things are true and absolutely legitimate. Is A. You should treat people as they're an individual, and the thing that you're experiencing could be their own individual idiosyncraticness. That would be the fairest way to treat everyone. And that's valid. And I agree. Also, groups of people have patterns, also a reality.
Monica Padman
They do. But for the most part, we know those already. Like, we've been taught those and told those already. So, like, yes, if my mom is making curry.
Dax Shepard
Yeah.
Monica Padman
Yeah. You could say to yourself, like. Like, it would be reasonable to think, yeah, that's because she's Indian and she grew up eating curry, and that's an Indian dish. All of that makes sense. And I'm. And those are stereotypes, so that's tricky. But it's real. That's real.
Dax Shepard
Yeah. It's just.
Monica Padman
Yeah, that's normal. I'm. I'm fine with that. I'm just. That's not fine with arbitrary. That's different. So it must be because of.
Dax Shepard
I understand your objection to that.
Monica Padman
Okay.
Dax Shepard
But do you also agree that that might be the highest probability explanation just across the board?
Monica Padman
No, I don't.
Dax Shepard
Like, I had to be friends with lots of Jewish people before it went from. I noticed one friend had this thing hanging in his door frame, and he touched it every time he went in his house. At first that was just, oh, John. John has a thing he's hung up that he touches.
Monica Padman
Sure.
Dax Shepard
Then four other Jewish friends along the way who have it. And then I go like, oh, yeah, that's a Jewish thing.
Monica Padman
Yes. So I think that's the right train of thought. You. You see it and you assume that it's actually individual to the person.
Dax Shepard
John's thing.
Monica Padman
Yes. And then over time, you see a pattern. Then over time, you're like, oh, yeah, this is. This is cultural. But that's the correct order, not the other way around.
Kristen Milioti
Mm.
Monica Padman
Mm.
Dax Shepard
Yeah. Sometimes life's moving really fast and you got, like, one stab at it.
Monica Padman
No, you don't.
Dax Shepard
And you kind of go the highest probability.
Monica Padman
No, you don't. No, you don't. Okay, okay, okay.
Dax Shepard
Ashok, I love you.
Monica Padman
I love you, dad.
Dax Shepard
And everything you do, I love. And if I saw something I didn't understand, I would still love it. I just would be curious if that was his own unique invention or if that's, like, he's fourth generation of toast and a boy.
Monica Padman
Well, look, here's an interesting. So a lot of Indians do. They eat with their hands.
Dax Shepard
Okay.
Monica Padman
So they eat, like, rice with their hands.
Dax Shepard
And they got the naan going too. They're scooping with some bread. They get their fingers in there.
Monica Padman
Yeah. Depending. Sometimes there's. Non there's. But sometimes not. Like they're. They're eating with their hands. That's a very common way to eat in India. Migraines. Grandparents did that. That's how they ate. Well, they did, yes. And that. And my dad, too. Although I haven't seen that in years now.
Dax Shepard
Really quick. So when you were over there and you noticed, oh, Grandma and grandpa eat with their hands, were you like, grandma and grandpa are interesting, or were you like, oh, it's got to be an Indian thing?
Monica Padman
I mean, I was so little, there's no way for me to remember know that. So anyway, I guess I would hope that you would have seen it a couple times before you assumed it.
Dax Shepard
Yeah.
Monica Padman
But that's. This is an interesting one because it's true. You know, it's real. That. That's a cultural difference.
Dax Shepard
Yeah, that's right. And that's what you're trying to beat out in your head and figure out what you know. I think your impulse is, like, explain stuff. I mean, I think. Well, let's start with, like, things we agree on. Everyone's impulse is making sense of reality around them.
Monica Padman
Yeah.
Dax Shepard
Like, that's just your number one.
Monica Padman
Yeah.
Dax Shepard
Job. From the second you wake up, it's like, oh, I came in this room and this is going on. Why is this going on?
Monica Padman
I need not, you know, I think approaching it with, like, true curiosity that doesn't have any judgment or otherness around it. Like, I do think phrasing it as. Did you grow up eating toast in a bowl?
Dax Shepard
Yeah.
Monica Padman
Or did you grow up eating with your hands is different than. Is that a group insert, group thing?
Dax Shepard
Yeah. Yeah.
Monica Padman
Just for anyone who wants to practice.
Dax Shepard
Yeah. Yeah, yeah.
Monica Padman
It's a lot. Look, life is a lot of phrasing.
Dax Shepard
It's a lot of judgment calls. It's a lot of how you phrase things.
Monica Padman
Yes. It makes a huge difference.
Dax Shepard
Yeah. And I'm just trying to be honest about acknowledging what the real process is in my head. Like, I'm trying to be honest about the fact that when I see something that I've never seen before before my 100th of a second. Right. Like, I'm not. The frontal lobe's not even involved. It went, huh, that's different. What could explain it? What's the other thing I know about us that's different? Maybe that's the explanation that is, like, from almost the moment I see it, that that math happens.
Monica Padman
Yeah.
Dax Shepard
And then the frontal lobe goes, well, Is that a stereotype? Is that offensive? Is that this? This is it. That. And then you hope to land with a high percentage that you were on the right side.
Monica Padman
Well, hopefully you just keep your mouth shut until the second part of your brain has done the other things.
Dax Shepard
That's the goal. The space between your emotions and your actions.
Monica Padman
We can't control the initial thought.
Dax Shepard
That's all I'm trying to cop to.
Monica Padman
I have no. I have no. There's nothing we can do about our initial thoughts.
Dax Shepard
Okay, great. I get a little scared that I even, like, my initial thoughts are offensive, and then I'm kind of just a bad. Like, you think I'm a bad person.
Monica Padman
We all do this.
Dax Shepard
I commit to, like, working through all the other steps.
Monica Padman
Yeah. That's all that's being asked in any of these, like racism or stereotypes or any of these things. Like, you can't help your initial thought. You have it, and then you think. Is that right?
Dax Shepard
Yeah.
Monica Padman
And that's how you get to having. I think, those thoughts less over time.
Dax Shepard
Yeah. Anyway, I think when you and I talk about race openly, it's wise. Wonderful.
Monica Padman
Me too. Yeah, we can. Because there's trust.
Dax Shepard
Yeah.
Monica Padman
And I. And I think hopefully it's good for people to hear because it's hard to find someone you trust to talk about race with because there's a lot of explosive.
Dax Shepard
It also, again, it's so much of where you come from. It's like Joy grew up with her people.
Monica Padman
People.
Dax Shepard
And, like, so she loves to talk about it.
Monica Padman
Yeah.
Dax Shepard
She's happy to engage in it with pretty much anyone, whether or not she's even earned that.
Monica Padman
Yeah.
Dax Shepard
And it's simply. So what you'd be inclined to think is, like, there's something predictable about being a minority in this country. Well, no, there's something predictable if you're a minority in this country and you're surrounded by the hegemonic group.
Monica Padman
Yeah.
Dax Shepard
And there's something to be said if you. You know.
Monica Padman
Yeah. But also she. If she was talking to certain people. I mean, she. The way Joy talks about it. She does. She's with you. There's, like, fun and it's funny and stuff, but she can get very serious about.
Dax Shepard
Oh, she's dead serious about the inequity.
Monica Padman
Exactly. And she is not gonna be afraid.
Dax Shepard
She likes to. Because she's so skilled at pointing these things out. But, yeah, she's. But she's never seemingly. She's never triggered in some inferiority way.
Monica Padman
Right.
Dax Shepard
She's like, oh, you think that. That's broken. And I can't wait to. You know, there's like. Like she doesn't seem. Seem to, but I. But she got to grow up with her people.
Monica Padman
She did. But she's also lived a life. She went to an Ivy League school. She lived a life where she was around.
Dax Shepard
She did a ball.
Monica Padman
Yeah. She did.
Dax Shepard
Boarding school.
Monica Padman
I'm sure. I'm sure there's elements.
Dax Shepard
There's some complication. For sure.
Monica Padman
Yeah. I don't think you can be a minority in this country and not have some level of like.
Dax Shepard
It is just fun to think about what your homeostasis would be if you grew up with all Indian in the Indian neighborhood. And what would my homeostasis be like if I was the only white person in all Indians or all black people or whatever. It's just. I think it proves the point that we are always saying, which is like, you're not you. You're a product of so many things. Yeah.
Monica Padman
Yes, I agree.
Dax Shepard
Okay.
Monica Padman
But real quick.
Dax Shepard
Yeah.
Monica Padman
Speaking of cultures.
Dax Shepard
Yeah.
Monica Padman
Callie, Max and I went to Dantana, which is a rest. An institutional restaurant in Los Angeles, which.
Dax Shepard
I've talked about a bunch on here because I like to go with Nate.
Monica Padman
Yeah.
Dax Shepard
And what did you think?
Monica Padman
I loved it.
Dax Shepard
You did?
Monica Padman
Yeah, I loved it.
Dax Shepard
Okay. I mean, I need to know more because what I like about it is, I've told you, is that it is time traveling.
Monica Padman
It is. It's old school Italian. It has mob energy.
Dax Shepard
It's super Hollywood. 80s.
Monica Padman
Yes.
Dax Shepard
I mean, the stakes are named. Named after famous actors. You got the Debney steak. You got the.
Monica Padman
I thought. Oh, I didn't notice that.
Dax Shepard
Did you not notice all the. All the.
Monica Padman
Didn't look at the.
Dax Shepard
They're known what ones?
Monica Padman
I didn't look at the meats.
Dax Shepard
Oh, you didn't?
Monica Padman
No. Because it's an Italian place. I'm getting pasta.
Dax Shepard
They're kind of known for their. What's the thing that people are against eating a cow?
Monica Padman
It's a veal.
Dax Shepard
Veal. And there's like eight or ten VEs on the menu, but all with different movie stars names. And famously, James woods was behind eating the James Woods.
Monica Padman
Oh, that's. Yeah, that's right. That was. I thought that was at Musu and Frank's.
Dax Shepard
No, that was Dantana's.
Monica Padman
Oh, fun.
Dax Shepard
But you liked it?
Monica Padman
I loved it.
Dax Shepard
Were there any 85 year old men with 21 year old women?
Monica Padman
Oh, shoot.
Dax Shepard
Because that's still thriving there, which is so fascinating to see.
Monica Padman
I didn't notice. But at some point in the night, a. A group came in that was dressed like to the nines looking mob, kind of mob bossy. And then our server, who obviously had been sort of like a lifetime server there, he was giving us the intel that they come at like 9 or between 9 and 10 every night, and they order the same thing and they get fettuccine for the table.
Dax Shepard
Love it.
Monica Padman
I know. It was really, really fun.
Dax Shepard
Did you have a cool cocktail?
Monica Padman
Because that bar I had at Martini.
Dax Shepard
Maybe the coolest bar in all of la. I mean, more has happened at that bar than probably any other bar in la.
Monica Padman
It was so fun. And one bad thing happened. He'll probably be mad at me for sharing this because it was a blunder.
Dax Shepard
Okay. Thigh guy.
Monica Padman
Yeah. Thy guy, Max, he's kind of like you, I think in. In a. I'm worried things are going to run out.
Dax Shepard
Oh, sure, sure.
Monica Padman
So I guess last time they got a Caesar and he was like, this is not enough. This is not enough Caesar.
Dax Shepard
Scary. Yeah, I can feel it.
Monica Padman
So for his entree, he got double Caesar salad.
Dax Shepard
Okay.
Monica Padman
And Callie and I got individual Caesars as our starters. So they bring our starters and I look at this and I think Max is getting two of these because it was huge. It was huge.
Dax Shepard
Huge.
Monica Padman
And then he had trapped himself because he was like, that wasn't the size of it last time. And the Caesar that arrived was so.
Dax Shepard
It's like a large pizza.
Monica Padman
It was enormous and piled up so high. And he couldn't really wait for his. Like, he was like, too hungry. So we had some of mine and some of Callie's before his enormous Caesar arrived. Wow. And then he really painted himself into a.
Dax Shepard
He did.
Monica Padman
Because then he was like, I have to eat it. Like, I made this crazy mistake. And it looks crazy. If I don't like, the people are going to be pissed.
Dax Shepard
No, I love that we think that as if they're thinking at all about.
Monica Padman
Well, no. Then our server came because he said, is this the size it was? And he said, yeah, that's always been the size. Yeah. The guy in the back was like two.
Dax Shepard
Okay. So they are.
Monica Padman
Yeah, they're judging. Anyway, he ate pretty much all of it. He had to leave a little bit. But when you factor in the fact that he had some of mine and Callie's. He had more than two Caesars.
Dax Shepard
And what do you have for an entree?
Monica Padman
That was his entree.
Dax Shepard
He didn't go a steak either.
Monica Padman
He. No, he didn't. We got some appetizers, but.
Dax Shepard
Okay. I'm so glad. When was this? Last night?
Monica Padman
Oh, it was a couple months ago. Yeah, it was Sunday.
Dax Shepard
It was Sunday.
Monica Padman
Yeah.
Dax Shepard
Okay.
Monica Padman
It was really fun.
Dax Shepard
Yeah. That's a fun place.
Monica Padman
I need to be better. Better at. Not like I want to go back tonight.
Dax Shepard
Yeah.
Monica Padman
Yeah. And then I want to go back in five more days. Like, I've been doing that with Sunset Tower. I've been going a little. Like a lot.
Dax Shepard
Okay. Yeah.
Monica Padman
And I ordered. I order an interesting martini. I order one with a lemon twist and an orange twist. Unconventional. I invented it.
Dax Shepard
Okay.
Monica Padman
And so never been done. So when I went last time and I ordered that, he was like, oh, yeah, I. I remember you.
Dax Shepard
Oh, now he's gonna got you.
Monica Padman
Yeah. And he was like, what? Yeah. When were you here? Like two weeks ago. And I was like, yeah, but really, it was like five days ago. Yeah. I had to lie.
Dax Shepard
Seeing lies. Is he a suitor now? Sounds like he's a suitor.
Monica Padman
No, he's not. He's not. He was a nice man, but no. Any who. I guess that's it. I do have a. Maybe an update. I haven't decided if I'm going to share it, so. That's tbd. Keep listening.
Dax Shepard
Sure, sure.
Monica Padman
All right, let's do some facts.
Dax Shepard
Yes. Stay tuned for more armchair expert, if you dare. We are supported by Twizzlers. What a fun product.
Monica Padman
I love Twizzlers. I love a Twizzler in a movie theater.
Dax Shepard
Well, the fun never stops with Twizzlers. It's the candy that lets you stretch out the fun. It's the perfect level of sweet and comes in the fun, chewy twist that everyone know and loves. Yeah. Nine on one in a dark movie theater.
Monica Padman
This is so fun.
Dax Shepard
I like to put my teeth between the ridges. Do you ever do that?
Monica Padman
Tell me more.
Kristen Milioti
Go on.
Dax Shepard
It's got the grooves in it. And then I put my incisor in the groove. Yeah, I love that. Twizzlers is there when you're in an afternoon slump and need a pick me up when it's time for a little treat yourself moment. And when you want to be the hero of your next group, hang. Reach for a bag of Twizzlers. They're perfect for sharing and they're clutch for outdoor adventures and road trips because they don't melt in the sun. Talk about. About a snack hack. Grab a bag of Twizzlers and stretch out the fun.
Monica Padman
Okay, facts for Kristen. It's so weird that her name's Kristen. Is it weird for you?
Dax Shepard
Well, because it's spelled the way it is. There's a lot of leeway in the way where people are spelling Kristen.
Monica Padman
I don't think of her as Kristen because of the way it's spelled.
Dax Shepard
Right.
Monica Padman
But then when we were saying her name, I was like, oh, yeah, it's a dumb story.
Dax Shepard
No, it's a good one. But Kristen C, R, I, S. I know what you mean. I think the same exact thing. I. I didn't realize it was even pronounced Kristen.
Monica Padman
Yeah.
Dax Shepard
Yes. C, R, I, S, T, I, N. Now, this goes this. My ex girlfriend Bri, too, she had a very novel spelling of Bri.
Monica Padman
Yeah. How'd she spell it?
Dax Shepard
B R. Still does. B, R, I, I, E, G, H.
Monica Padman
B, R, I, E, G, H. Yeah.
Dax Shepard
Everyone gets to, you know, do it.
Monica Padman
However they, like, get, like, funky when they're making spellings up.
Dax Shepard
I know. Yeah. It's an interesting impulse. It's like, I'm gonna give them a name that a lot of people have, but I'm gonna spell it uniquely.
Monica Padman
Yeah. You know what's funny? Well, Callie has that a little bit. She always has to say Callie with a K and an I. Well, so, uh.
Dax Shepard
Oh, so now's a great time to tell you.
Monica Padman
Actually, I think it.
Dax Shepard
I have stress every time I text you about Kali, as I'm like, is it K? H? Is it kha?
Monica Padman
Yeah, it's a look. It's a hard name.
Dax Shepard
Yeah.
Monica Padman
I actually find it very endearing because I think it has to do with your dyslexia.
Dax Shepard
Okay.
Monica Padman
But because you always spell it K A, L, I, and you're so close.
Dax Shepard
Oh, what do I need?
Monica Padman
It's K, A, L, I, E. Oh, easy.
Dax Shepard
I can.
Monica Padman
But I always think it's fun because you do it. And then I'll respond back with her name kind of on purpose. Spelled correctly.
Dax Shepard
Yes. Try gently. Tell me.
Monica Padman
Yeah. Oh, I think one day he'll see that he's been doing that wrong, and.
Dax Shepard
Then, yes, I was with Callie instead of saying I was with him.
Monica Padman
Yeah. Callie said this, and then you haven't noticed that, but so I guess now the cat's out of the Cal state.
Dax Shepard
I think I noticed it, and then I don't remember it.
Monica Padman
Yeah, that's fair.
Dax Shepard
Like a month later when I want to text about Callie.
Monica Padman
Yeah.
Dax Shepard
I don't try to go back and find it.
Monica Padman
Yeah.
Dax Shepard
Okay. I think this will be the learning moment where I get it. That is. I can handle that. I have this same issue with Seth's wife Claire. Every time I seem to write Claire, I pick the Wrong one.
Monica Padman
How does she.
Dax Shepard
Well, because you could go CL A, I, R or C L A, R, E. Oh, and it's one of those two, and I generally get it wrong.
Monica Padman
C L A, R E is on unconventional.
Dax Shepard
That's hers.
Monica Padman
That's hers. Okay, so she's unconventional.
Dax Shepard
Yeah. And Seth will. He doesn't say. He doesn't do what you do. He's even more direct. He's like. It is like he corrects me.
Monica Padman
Upset, do you think? I just think he's defensive.
Dax Shepard
No, I think he's a very, like, respectful, integrity person, and he. He wants to correct you if you're not spelling his wife's name right.
Monica Padman
Wow. Wow. Okay. Two sides of two different coins. I guess because I feel like I'm being respectful by not telling you because I don't want to hurt your feelings.
Dax Shepard
I think they're both valid. They're valid points of view.
Monica Padman
Okay. What is interesting about the way people spell names is sometimes the spelling does make me like the name in a way that I didn't previously like it.
Dax Shepard
Sure.
Monica Padman
In fact, Claire being one, I really like the spelling. C L, A, R, E. That changes it for you now. Like, I love it.
Dax Shepard
Yeah. Maybe you'll name your daughter Claire.
Kristen Milioti
We spell Calvin weird.
Monica Padman
How do you spell it?
Dax Shepard
C A, L, V, I, G, H, N. No, you don't. That's a lie. Robin is. His lies.
Monica Padman
He tells so many lies. And I've been. And when I'm watching you, there's so many lies to juggle.
Dax Shepard
Oh, so yours is swimming and deception.
Monica Padman
Yes. Speaking of, when I asked if he's protective, Seth, the guy in you, he's so protective that he has to murder.
Dax Shepard
Too protective.
Monica Padman
Yeah. I could see you, like, sliding down that scale.
Dax Shepard
Absolutely. Yeah. Yeah.
Monica Padman
I kind of want you to watch it to see if you kind of can relate.
Dax Shepard
We had an expert. He's coming up, and it's really fucked up the whole way I process the world, and I'm frustrated by it, and I know it's the right thing to do, but a guy. We're having an ex expert on about rage addiction.
Monica Padman
Yeah.
Dax Shepard
And once it's. Once it's fully framed for you, what's going on in your head and the science behind it. It's a bummer because I do like the Right. There's some level of vigilantism I like. You know?
Monica Padman
Me, too. Look, we all do. We all love the story of, like, Robin Hood a little bit. But again, this circles back to our other fact check. In reality, no, like, no revenge Is bad and it's a poison.
Dax Shepard
Yep. And forgiveness is very good for your brain.
Monica Padman
Yeah.
Dax Shepard
It stops this back and forth cycle.
Monica Padman
Yes.
Dax Shepard
It's just the right thing and I kind of hate it. It's taking the fun out of, you know, like these movies that are just great. It's like you kidnap Liam Neeson's daughter and he's gonna fucking kill you. And we love that. That's so clean. You should get killed if you. You kidnap someone's daughter.
Monica Padman
When I was home for Mother's Day, I was watching Dateline, obviously, with my parents, because they just can't get enough of that.
Dax Shepard
Do they. Are they particularly into Keith Morrison the Way we are? Do they not have preferences?
Monica Padman
There's no preference.
Dax Shepard
Oh, wow. I don't like that.
Monica Padman
But as much as they can consume, they will. In fact, I probably can't say this, but there was something happened. There's something happening in the family. Ish. A good thing. But that my mom was like, well, you gotta be careful because people can get really crazy. And she like devised this whole plan in her head of how someone would get murdered. Yep.
Dax Shepard
Yeah. Yeah. It could lead you to believe there's more murders going on than there are.
Monica Padman
Correct.
Dax Shepard
Yeah, yeah.
Monica Padman
There was a man who killed a girl, like a 18 year old or whatever who killed another 18.
Dax Shepard
Okay.
Monica Padman
And. Or maybe he was 19 or something. Whatever. He killed someone and like, you know, he's up for her. He's up to get out a lot. But the mom and the sister keep going in and basically making sure he stays in jail.
Dax Shepard
Yeah.
Monica Padman
And I respect. I understand. Of course, I understand. But there was a part of me, you know, and I was like, I mean, maybe it's time to let him out. And I was saying that, and my mom was so disturbed by me saying that. And I was like, mom, his brain wasn't even developing. It's not developed till you're 25. And she's like, well, if you were the sister. And I was like, of course. Of course. If I'm the sister, I want that person to rot in jail.
Dax Shepard
That's right.
Monica Padman
So I get it.
Dax Shepard
Yeah. But it's been taking the fun out of some normal fantasies I play with.
Monica Padman
Yeah. Like having like empathy. Having empathy kind of ruins vigilantism.
Dax Shepard
Yeah. Just. Just owning what's going on, on in my brain.
Monica Padman
Can you give an example?
Dax Shepard
Well, just I think of all these scenarios all the time. I just. That's what I fantasize about.
Monica Padman
Killing.
Dax Shepard
No, but like protecting.
Monica Padman
Oh, right. Yeah.
Dax Shepard
Forcing someone to apologize. You know, all these just, like, taking care of everyone and sheriffing.
Monica Padman
Right.
Dax Shepard
And so I have all these bizarre fantasies, and then I just have to now go, like, right, so you're hurt or someone else is hurt, and your inclination is not to soothe, it's to hurt.
Monica Padman
Right.
Dax Shepard
And that, that'll somehow erase the hurt. And it just, it doesn't and it won't. And it's no less fun. My imagination now. And I'm kind of angry. Kind of like, I couldn't stop. Yeah. Like, I couldn't. I had. There's so many things I've had to stop doing on this show. Like be disparaging about BDP people. Be disparaging. Right. Even the sociopath. We had a sociopath. And I am like, fuck. I kind of feel bad for sociopaths.
Monica Padman
Yeah.
Dax Shepard
I don't like it. I mean, I like it. I think it's, I think it's good. It's a good direction.
Monica Padman
But I also, I've been thinking about this a lot. I, I, I think this show has fundamentally made me a fully different person. I was so. I was so. Yes. That person needs to rot it. Like, I would never have ever thought for a second, like, maybe it's time to let that guy out.
Dax Shepard
What's our goal? Or we do we want to.
Monica Padman
Yeah.
Dax Shepard
Punish or keep people safe.
Monica Padman
Yeah. And I think it has to do with the amount of stories we've heard, the amount of people we've gotten to talk to. Yeah. I wonder who I'd be without it. I didn't know my mom and brother, we were at dinner and I was doing this about somebody or something, and they were like, you always see the best in people. Like, they were saying it. Kind of annoyed.
Dax Shepard
Yeah. Like you're naive or.
Monica Padman
Yeah. Or just like, we know you want to look at that perspective.
Dax Shepard
Yeah.
Monica Padman
But this is what we want to talk about, the bad thing. And I would never. I, I am not someone who was born thinking the best of people.
Dax Shepard
Right, right, right, right.
Monica Padman
So that's something new, and I'm grateful for it.
Dax Shepard
So I wouldn't even say mine is that I now think the best of people. It's that I much more understand or I think I understand how bad the person had it to begin with that ended them there.
Monica Padman
Yes. That's like, I still think they're bad.
Dax Shepard
But I think there's, you know, I think they're, well, not bad in quotes, but.
Monica Padman
Well, yeah, I guess that's the lesson. Like, I don't think people think you become based on experience. And things you can't control.
Dax Shepard
Yep. So, yeah, it's hard.
Monica Padman
It's hard. Yeah, it's hard. After you know that.
Dax Shepard
Yeah. I feel like I can only be, like, ethically judgmental of someone that's got the exact same scenario as me. Like, I'm free to say, no, you should be doing better with this set of circumstances. But beyond that, I really have no business saying what someone should. What level they have.
Monica Padman
Yeah.
Dax Shepard
Should have risen to.
Monica Padman
Yeah. And that applies to everyone. That applies to the person whose family was hurt. They've been through something that caused them to act the way they act. Anyway. Okay, so some facts. What is the Jersey Devil?
Dax Shepard
What is the Jersey Devil?
Monica Padman
In South Jersey and Philadelphia folklore in the U.S. the Jersey Devil, also known as the Leeds Devil, a little legendary creature or cryptid, said to inhabit the forests of the Pine Barrens in South Jersey. The creature is often described as flying biped.
Dax Shepard
It looks kind of cute, actually.
Monica Padman
Hooves. But there are many variations.
Dax Shepard
Yeah. It looks kind of like a smiling reptile, but with ram horns and chicken legs. And dragon wings.
Monica Padman
Yeah. Bat like wings, it says.
Dax Shepard
Yeah.
Monica Padman
The origin of the legend, though, a woman named Leeds was giving birth to her Thor 13th child and exclaimed, let the child be the devil. The child, though born normally, immediately grew wings, tail and claws and flew out of the Pine Barrens.
Dax Shepard
That's all you gotta do is say, let him be the devil, and that you can convert your.
Monica Padman
If you're Mrs. Leads.
Dax Shepard
Oh, wow.
Monica Padman
Yeah. How much is a pedicab ride in New York? Ish. Through Times Square? A short ride within Times Square might cost 15 to $30, while a more extensive tour could range from $40 to $150 per person.
Dax Shepard
It's kind of steep, pricey way to get around town.
Monica Padman
Yeah. But fast. Super fast, because you get to go in between.
Dax Shepard
Right.
Monica Padman
Record for how long someone was in a Broadway show. The record for the longest time spent by an actor in a single Broadway show is held by George Lee Andrews, who performed the Phantom of the Opera for 23 years.
Dax Shepard
Oh, my Lord.
Monica Padman
From 1987 to 2011.
Dax Shepard
Whoa.
Monica Padman
He performed a total of 9,382 performances.
Dax Shepard
Oh, my God.
Monica Padman
During his tenure, he played multiple roles, including ensemble members and the roles of Mansur Ferru and Monsieur Andre.
Dax Shepard
9,000 performances.
Monica Padman
Yeah.
Dax Shepard
I'm like, still so proud of us for 900 episodes. And now I feel like a weakling.
Monica Padman
Yeah. And do you think it's one of those things when you've done something so much that if, like, he forgets A line in his 7,000th performance. He's probably so afraid of dementia.
Dax Shepard
Oh.
Monica Padman
He's like, how could I? I've been doing this 7,000.
Dax Shepard
I bet he could most certainly do that role soup to nuts and never once be present on stage. Like, it completely in his mind thinking about other stuff. I'm sure his subconscious could do that performance.
Monica Padman
Yeah.
Dax Shepard
And he's just probably in La La Land for two hours.
Monica Padman
But he loves the theater.
Dax Shepard
Or he's addicted to that cheddar.
Monica Padman
I don't think that's what he's addicted to.
Dax Shepard
I think he's addicted to cheddar.
Monica Padman
Much money. But that reminds me, sometimes I forget the gate code to your house. And I think every time I forget, I think like, oh, I'm ill. Like something's wrong. How could I possibly forget this thing I do? I then have to look it up.
Dax Shepard
Sure, sure, sure. Yeah.
Monica Padman
Isn't that scary?
Dax Shepard
Yeah. I get scared like that. Yeah. And that stuff happens to me.
Monica Padman
Does it?
Dax Shepard
Yeah. And now we're being monitored, so it's like I have the thought. It's like I cannot think of a name of someone I know very well.
Monica Padman
Yeah.
Dax Shepard
And then I go, well, I guess the next cognition test we have for our Alzheimer's thing is just going to show that, yes, I am indeed declined. Yes.
Monica Padman
Yeah. It's weird.
Dax Shepard
Yeah. Like, I don't know if it's comforting or not comforting that we will find out. I can't decide that. Like, normally you'd just be having these thoughts in a vacuum, and then you'd probably convince yourself later that you're, you know, you'd be thinking sharp that day and you'd be like, oh, no, nothing's going on.
Monica Padman
But we're gonna be told, well, unless we don't decline.
Dax Shepard
Correct.
Monica Padman
Which is the goal is to be doing all these other things. I mean, we're gonna decline, but not to a scary. Hopefully not to a scary level.
Dax Shepard
Sometimes days it feels like it's happening at a scary pace.
Monica Padman
I think it's when it's, like, gloomy.
Dax Shepard
Out, that's when you.
Monica Padman
It's more weather based. Okay. This vault, this Warner Brothers situation where there are shows that are gone.
Dax Shepard
Yeah.
Monica Padman
Is true. And. Yeah. You can't watch Westworld. I looked on Max today. You can't find. It's not there. You can, like, go to Amazon on Prime and buy it.
Dax Shepard
You can.
Monica Padman
Yeah. But you can't watch it on Max.
Dax Shepard
That's so weird.
Monica Padman
I know. Also, now it's HBO Max again. Did you hear this?
Dax Shepard
No.
Monica Padman
They are they now They've gone back to yes.
Dax Shepard
By the way, I always said HBO is the crown jewel, not Max.
Monica Padman
I don't know why they didn't exactly, but I think. Well, I heard it was just some guy's idea who had power, and then they did it. And then obviously it never worked. Like, people wouldn't say it, right.
Dax Shepard
Or hbo.
Monica Padman
Yeah, people would say hbo. And so it's. It's HBO Max again. And if we have to redownload that shit, I'm going to be pissed.
Dax Shepard
But I would be like Mercedes buying Dodge and then deciding to rename all this Mercedes Dodge. That makes no sense. You would. You would.
Monica Padman
You want to stick with your most prestigious name. I know. Home box office.
Dax Shepard
I think maybe they got excited that Max sounds like the maximum amount of content.
Monica Padman
Well, they didn't want it to just be hbo, obviously, because there's more there, Right? But HBO Max seems good to me.
Dax Shepard
T.J. maxx.
Monica Padman
But it was HBO then HBO, Max then Max. Right?
Dax Shepard
HBO Go. HBO Go.
Monica Padman
Oh, yeah. Oh, my God.
Dax Shepard
John Oliver does a whole bit on.
Monica Padman
The last episode of all the different really funny. They are having fun with it, though. They have, like, obviously some, like, Gen Z person running their social media because they're, like, putting funny burning themselves.
Dax Shepard
Yeah, okay, that's good. But it's been making me sign in a lot lately, and I wonder if that's related to this name change. It's been challenging, probably. Do we have to download another fucking app or are they just gonna update the current?
Monica Padman
That's what I was just said.
Dax Shepard
We're so intolerant. Used to be, like, you had to catch the show live or you didn't see it. Now it's like, you have to. I had to sign in.
Monica Padman
I know. Okay. I was gonna play just a teeny, teeny clip of her on 30 Rock. She mentions a character she. She plays that's, like, wild. It is wild. I knew I smelled sausage. Yes.
Kristen Milioti
Abby.
Monica Padman
I'm Liz.
Dax Shepard
Liz. Thank you.
Monica Padman
Oh, our nips just touched.
Kristen Milioti
Mine are so hard.
Monica Padman
Mine are different sizes. Okay. That's all I'll play. But, yeah, she's a very silly. That 30 rock is such a fucking good show.
Dax Shepard
Yeah. It's almost like, in some ways, underappreciated.
Monica Padman
Yeah. There she is.
Dax Shepard
Oh, yeah. Our nips just touched. Is that what she said? Yeah, yeah, It's a great show. Tina Fey, one of the great talents of all time.
Monica Padman
Okay. I found this weird thing she said. What's it called? When you feel forever 27.
Dax Shepard
That has a name.
Monica Padman
So then I looked it up and it said, the phenomenon of feeling forever 27, or experiencing a fascination with the idea of never aging beyond a certain age, is often connected to the 2027 Club, a cultural concept referencing celebrities who died at the age of 27. The idea, while rooted in tragedy, has also become a symbol of a certain rebellious energy and a desire to hold.
Dax Shepard
On to youth, live fast and die young.
Monica Padman
I. I guess.
Dax Shepard
Who's the list?
Monica Padman
Hendrix, Janis Joplin, Amy Winehouse, Jim Morrison, Janis Joplin, Jimi Hendrix. Well, we know that Belushi and Chris Farley made it to 33, the age of Jesus. So they're not on here.
Dax Shepard
That's good.
Monica Padman
Yeah. Okay. We did talk about astrology, so I did real quick. Want to just real quick.
Dax Shepard
Yeah, of course.
Monica Padman
Do today's astrology. Postar is the app I use. Let's see what it says. Today, one hour ago. You don't have high standards. You just want someone who. Capricorn will discreetly tell you if you have food stuck in your teeth.
Dax Shepard
Wouldn't everyone like that? You'd like that, right?
Monica Padman
No, I might. I'll be embarrassed. I do want.
Dax Shepard
You'd rather have food stuck in your teeth.
Monica Padman
No, I don't. I want it, but I. I don't want it either.
Dax Shepard
Okay, you don't want the solution to it.
Monica Padman
You don't. You don't have high standards. You just want someone who.
Dax Shepard
Me.
Monica Padman
Virgo reliably uses the correct version. There, There, there.
Dax Shepard
Oh, sure.
Monica Padman
Okay, that adds up. Wait. Rob. What are you. Gemini, I think. Rob, actually, that makes total sense. Oh, yeah, that makes total sense that you're a Gemini.
Dax Shepard
Such a Gemini.
Monica Padman
The twins. One's a rascal. Oh, aren't they the twins?
Kristen Milioti
I think they are.
Monica Padman
You don't have high standards.
Kristen Milioti
You don't.
Monica Padman
You just want someone who shares the passwords to all their streaming accounts.
Dax Shepard
I think people tell me I'm more of a Cancer than a Gemini because I'm running the edge.
Monica Padman
Okay, you don't have high standards. You just want someone who can listen without sharing a tangentially related story.
Dax Shepard
Who can listen without.
Monica Padman
I don't think so. I don't know many people like that. Kristin's a cancer. Am I lying?
Dax Shepard
She only tells tangents.
Monica Padman
But she wants. No. So this is saying she wants to be able to tell you a story and you not go on a tangent with your own story? Basically everything we do here.
Dax Shepard
Yeah, yeah, yeah. And I don't think that's true. I don't know if that's true of Aaron either. But maybe I'll ask him. I think he likes a tangential story as well.
Monica Padman
I'll ask Anna. I'll ask my mom.
Dax Shepard
There's so many cancers.
Monica Padman
I do have a lot of July and August.
Dax Shepard
Big, big birthday months.
Monica Padman
Yeah, they are coming up.
Dax Shepard
That's right around the corner.
Monica Padman
All right. That's it.
Dax Shepard
That's it. Yeah, that's it for Kristen.
Monica Padman
Yeah, that's it for Kristen with a C. All right.
Dax Shepard
Love you.
Monica Padman
Love you.
Dax Shepard
Follow Armchair Expert on the Wondry app, Amazon Music, or wherever you get your podcasts. You can listen to every episode of Armchair Expert early and ad free right now by joining Wondry plus in the Wondry app or on Apple Podcasts. Before you go, tell us about yourself by completing a short survey@wondry.com survey. This is Nick and this is Jack. We're best friends, ex finance guys and resident 90s experts. And every week on our podcast, the Best Idea yet, we're bringing you the untold stories behind your favorite products. For instance, can you guess which billion dollar fashion company went viral thanks to a rhinestone covered tracksuit? Or which cartoon turned four turtles into.
Kristen Milioti
A global toy empire by accident?
Dax Shepard
It started as a joke. Last one which cold beverage was so hated by Starbucks they actually ended up acquiring it? The Frappuccino. Howard Schultz apparently thought cold coffee was super lame and then he bought it. From Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles to Juicy Couture to the orange mocha Frappuccino, join.
Kristen Milioti
Us every week to learn how your.
Dax Shepard
Favorite things got made. Follow the best idea yet on the.
Kristen Milioti
Wondery app or wherever you get your podcasts.
Dax Shepard
And you can listen early and ad free right now by joining Wondery Plus. And if this podcast lasts longer than 45 minutes, call your doctor.
Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard: Cristin Milioti Episode Summary
Release Date: June 2, 2025
In this engaging episode of Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard, host Dax Shepard is joined by Monica Padman to delve deep into the life and career of the multi-talented actress Cristin Milioti. Their conversation spans Cristin's early life, her educational journey, breakthrough roles, experiences in theater, and personal reflections on fame and age. The episode is rich with insights, memorable anecdotes, and thoughtful discussions on broader cultural topics.
Timestamp: [00:00] - [03:28]
Dax Shepard and Monica Padman warmly welcome Cristin Milioti to the show, highlighting her impressive body of work. They mention her roles in popular series and films such as "Palm Springs," "How I Met Your Mother," "Black Mirror," "Made for Love," and notably, her standout performance in "The Penguin", which becomes a focal point of their discussion.
Timestamp: [05:25] - [07:10]
Cristin shares her upbringing in Cherry Hill, New Jersey, a suburb of Philadelphia. She reflects on common misconceptions about New Jersey, emphasizing its unique culture beyond stereotypes like "The Sopranos" or "Jersey Shore." Cristin describes the Pine Barrens, home to the legendary Jersey Devil, and paints a vivid picture of her hometown's mystical and emotional landscape.
Notable Quote:
"There's something in the water there. It's very spooky and mystical and there's a lot of big emotions there."
— Cristin Milioti [05:50]
Timestamp: [07:11] - [20:50]
Cristin discusses her academic pursuits, including her time at New York University (NYU). Initially enrolling in a musical theater program, she candidly shares her dissatisfaction with the curriculum that combined performing arts with liberal arts courses, such as French history and biology, which led her to leave the program halfway through her sophomore year.
She reflects on the challenges of balancing her passion for acting with the academic demands of NYU, highlighting the financial struggles she faced during her off-Broadway years, such as accruing debt and living modestly.
Notable Quote:
"I was like, this is not what I thought it was."
— Cristin Milioti [19:00]
Timestamp: [20:51] - [22:15]
Post-NYU, Cristin delves into her early acting roles, including her groundbreaking work on "The Sopranos." She describes her first encounter with the iconic show, directed by Steve Buscemi, and how she was cast as a mob boss's daughter. Cristin speaks about balancing her career with personal growth, emphasizing the support she received from her parents.
Notable Quote:
"He is one of my favorite people on the entire universe."
— Cristin Milioti [22:55]
Timestamp: [22:16] - [37:32]
Cristin discusses her transition from television to theater, detailing her experiences on Broadway. She highlights her role in "The Lieutenant of Inishmore," where she earned her equity card and faced the challenge of performing under unconventional circumstances, such as having her hair buzzed for the role.
The conversation shifts to her work on "The Good Place," where she worked with actor William Jackson Harper. Cristin reflects on the dynamics of acting alongside seasoned actors and the intimate nature of theater performances.
Notable Quote:
"When theater is great, it reminds me of a place of worship where I can be in communion with an experience that is so individual to that one moment in time with the people who I'm seated next to."
— Cristin Milioti [27:58]
Timestamp: [22:16] - [24:45]
Cristin recounts her involvement in "The Sopranos," discussing how appearing on the show, particularly in a memorable episode, was both exciting and a learning experience. She shares behind-the-scenes insights, including interactions with Steve Buscemi and the challenges of maintaining continuity in her role amidst personal transformations, such as shaving her head.
Notable Quote:
"I'm so happy for you and love that you're so open to astrology and you're open to that notion that makes life more fun and interesting."
— Cristin Milioti [50:20]
Timestamp: [25:00] - [46:52]
Cristin delves deeper into her theater experiences, discussing her auditions for "Wicked," where she faced the daunting task of hitting high vocal notes she knew she couldn't achieve. She shares a humorous yet humbling story about auditioning multiple times and eventually accepting roles that better fit her vocal range.
She also reflects on the rigorous demands of performing over 500 times on Broadway, earning nominations for prestigious awards such as the Tony and Grammy for her performances.
Notable Quote:
"I have to be like, oh, yeah, this is not natural."
— Cristin Milioti [61:06]
Timestamp: [46:53] - [60:17]
Cristin discusses her roles in shows like "Fargo," "Palm Springs," and "Made for Love." She provides insights into the complexities of these characters, particularly her role in "The Penguin," where she portrays a deeply wounded individual seeking justice and revenge. The conversation touches on the psychological aspects of her characters and the intricate relationships they navigate.
Notable Quote:
"It's such a testament to you. You don't have nearly that amount of stuff to work with. And you're blasting him in scenes. You're just so fucking powerful and terrifying and subtle playing opposite."
— Cristin Milioti [49:58]
Timestamp: [60:18] - [83:31]
Cristin opens up about her feelings regarding delayed recognition in her career, expressing gratitude for her steady ascent and the ability to be part of projects she truly believes in. She reflects on the pressures faced by younger actors who achieve fame quickly and contrasts it with her own journey of gradual success.
The discussion also touches on imposter syndrome and the challenges of reconciling one's self-perception with public recognition. Cristin emphasizes the importance of embracing one's journey and the value of experiencing setbacks and growth over time.
Notable Quote:
"I've gotten to be a part of things that I have genuinely believed in and would watch and worked with people."
— Cristin Milioti [60:12]
Timestamp: [87:31] - [100:35]
The conversation shifts to broader cultural topics, including stereotypes, cultural differences, and the importance of understanding individuals beyond preconceived notions. Cristin and the hosts explore how initial perceptions can be influenced by cultural backgrounds and the necessity of approaching such topics with sensitivity and curiosity.
They discuss the Jersey Devil folklore, the significance of cultural practices like eating with hands in Indian traditions, and the complexities of navigating identity in diverse environments.
Notable Quote:
"It's about the very specific phrasing. I guess you could say, first of all, my dad doesn't care about anything. So yes, you could."
— Monica Padman [93:31]
Timestamp: [100:35] - [129:24]
The episode concludes with lighter, more casual interactions among Dax, Monica, and Cristin. They share humorous stories about name spellings, personal habits, and interactions with friends and family. Cristin recounts her experiences auditioning for various roles, including a funny story about attempting to sing out-of-range notes during a "Wicked" audition.
They also touch upon the challenges of editing podcast episodes, the humorous side of their personal lives, and playful banter about cultural misunderstandings and personal quirks.
Notable Quote:
"I've done a couple musicals, but they've all been not conventional. Yeah, they're not like Thoroughly Modern Millie."
— Cristin Milioti [21:16]
This episode of Armchair Expert offers a comprehensive look into Cristin Milioti's multifaceted career and personal growth. Through candid conversations and shared experiences, listeners gain a deeper understanding of the challenges and triumphs that have shaped Cristin into the accomplished actress she is today. The discussions on cultural identity and personal introspection add layers of depth, making it a rich and engaging listen for both fans and newcomers alike.
Highlights:
Memorable Quotes:
"There's something in the water there. It's very spooky and mystical and there's a lot of big emotions there."
— Cristin Milioti [05:50]
"I've gotten to be a part of things that I have genuinely believed in and would watch and worked with people."
— Cristin Milioti [60:12]
"When theater is great, it reminds me of a place of worship where I can be in communion with an experience that is so individual to that one moment in time with the people who I'm seated next to."
— Cristin Milioti [27:58]
Stay Connected:
For more insightful conversations and in-depth explorations of remarkable individuals, follow Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard on the Wondery App, Apple Podcasts, or Spotify.