Ike Barinholtz Returns Again

Summary

Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard – Episode: Ike Barinholtz Returns Again

Release Date: March 24, 2025

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Introduction to Ike Barinholtz

In this highly anticipated third appearance, host Dax Shepard welcomes his favorite guest, Ike Barinholtz, an accomplished actor, comedian, show creator, and writer. Known for his versatile roles in projects like Mad TV, The Hunt, and Neighbors, Ike's multifaceted career makes him a standout guest on the show.

“He does it all,” remarks Monica Padman at [00:32], highlighting Ike's diverse talents.

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Ike’s Jeopardy Journey

A significant portion of the episode delves into Ike's remarkable experience on Celebrity Jeopardy. Ike recounts his strategic gameplay, including taking bold risks with daily doubles that ultimately led him to triumph in three consecutive episodes.

“I went all in on a couple of them,” Ike shares at [11:35], reflecting on his daring approach.

He discusses pivotal moments, such as wagering $16,700 on a true daily double, a decision that played a crucial role in his victory. However, despite his success in the initial rounds, Ike candidly admits the challenges he faced in the semifinals against seasoned champions.

“What makes Celebrity Jeopardy different is the balance between fun and competition,” Ike explains at [16:15], offering insights into the unique dynamics of the celebrity edition compared to the regular show.

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Acting Projects and Creative Insights

Transitioning from game shows to acting, Ike provides an in-depth look into his latest projects, notably Running Point on Netflix and The Studio with Seth Rogen on Apple Plus. He elaborates on the creative process behind these shows, emphasizing collaboration and improvisation.

“Working with directors like Ron Howard was an incredible experience,” Ike shares at [61:10], underscoring the importance of collaborative efforts in his work.

He also touches on his role as a creator, discussing the development of new characters and storylines that resonate with audiences.

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Personal Stories and Anecdotes

The conversation takes a heartfelt turn as Ike recounts personal experiences that highlight his character and values. One poignant story involves a chance encounter with a stranger named Ted during a stressful day off, which turned into a meaningful interaction filled with kindness and understanding.

“Ted was a beautiful man, and I'm grateful I met him,” Ike reflects at [90:02], showcasing the profound impact of genuine human connections.

Additionally, Monica Padman shares her own misadventure with a flat tire, emphasizing the unexpected twists life can present and the importance of having reliable support systems.

“Having someone who knows how to help get me out of there was invaluable,” Monica notes at [85:07], highlighting the episode's theme of support and resilience.

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Relationships and Family Life

Both hosts delve into their personal lives, discussing relationships, parenting, and the humorous yet challenging aspects of being in the public eye. Ike candidly talks about his interactions with fans and the awkward yet amusing moments that come with fame.

“Trying to explain your fame to someone who doesn’t know you can be... interesting,” Ike jokes at [28:07], illustrating the delicate balance between privacy and public persona.

Dax Shepard shares insights into his relationship with his wife, Kristen, and how they navigate parenting three daughters while managing careers in the entertainment industry.

“We’re juggling a lot, but having a strong partnership makes all the difference,” Dax asserts at [10:17], emphasizing the importance of teamwork in personal and professional spheres.

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Humor and Banter

The episode is replete with the signature humor and playful banter that fans have come to love. From joking about elevator shoes and daily doubles to playful ribbing about each other's personal quirks, Ike and Dax create a lively and entertaining atmosphere.

“Your refractory period’s like two days, isn’t it?” Dax teases Ike at [05:25], leading to laughter and lighthearted exchanges throughout the conversation.

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Final Thoughts and Takeaways

As the episode wraps up, both Ike and Dax reflect on the meaningful discussions they've had, the importance of vulnerability, and celebrating growth through challenges. Ike's journey on Jeopardy serves as a metaphor for taking risks and embracing the unknown, while their personal stories underscore the value of authenticity and support.

“Celebrating the challenges and setbacks that ultimately lead to growth and betterment,” echoes Dax Shepard at [00:20], encapsulating the essence of both the episode and the overarching theme of the Armchair Expert podcast.

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Conclusion

Ike Barinholtz's return to Armchair Expert offers listeners a blend of insightful conversations, personal anecdotes, and the beloved humor that defines the show. Through discussions on his Jeopardy triumphs, acting ventures, and heartfelt personal stories, Ike provides a comprehensive look into the life of a multifaceted entertainer striving for growth and authenticity.

Listeners are encouraged to tune in and experience the enriching dialogue that celebrates the complexities of being human.

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Notable Quotes:

• “He does it all.” – Monica Padman [00:32]
• “I went all in on a couple of them,” – Ike Barinholtz [11:35]
• “Working with directors like Ron Howard was an incredible experience,” – Ike Barinholtz [61:10]
• “Ted was a beautiful man, and I'm grateful I met him,” – Ike Barinholtz [90:02]
• “We’ve juggling a lot, but having a strong partnership makes all the difference,” – Dax Shepard [10:17]

Transcript

[Dax Shepard]

Wondry plus subscribers can listen to Armchair Expert early and ad free right now. Join Wondry plus in the Wondry app or on Apple podcasts or you can listen for free wherever you get your podcasts. Welcome, welcome, welcome to Armchair Expert. I'm Dan Rather and I'm joined by Leslie Stahl.

[Monica Padman]

My goodness.

[Dax Shepard]

And for our third time is the charm. Favorite guest by far, Ike Barinholtz is here. He's an actor, he's a comedian, he's a show creator, he's a writer.

[Monica Padman]

He does it all.

[Dax Shepard]

The mini project blockers, Mad tv, the hunt, neighbors. And he's.

[Monica Padman]

He's a jeopardy Guy.

[Dax Shepard]

Jeopardy. Champion.

[Monica Padman]

Champion. Thank you.

[Dax Shepard]

Champion. And he is a creator of Running.

[Monica Padman]

Point, new show on Netflix, season two.

[Dax Shepard]

Congrats.

[Monica Padman]

Yes.

[Dax Shepard]

And he's acting in this most impossibly great show that I'm so excited for everyone to watch called the Studio with Seth Rogen. And he is on fire in the show. Ike Barinholtz.

[Monica Padman]

And I guess we should say, I don't feel bad spoiling this.

[Dax Shepard]

Okay?

[Monica Padman]

But Thursday we have Wednesday. Oh, my God. I can't. I can't do that.

[Dax Shepard]

You're so spoiled.

[Monica Padman]

Wednesday we have Seth on Seth Rogen. Yes, Tim.

[Dax Shepard]

Talk in the capacity of an expert.

[Monica Padman]

Yeah.

[Dax Shepard]

Because the technical aspect of this show is so impressive and deserved a deep dive and it got real nitty gritty. Deep divey.

[Monica Padman]

Yes.

[Dax Shepard]

So this is studio week. This is studio week. Welcome to studio week.

[Monica Padman]

Yeah.

[Dax Shepard]

Please enjoy. Ike Barinholtz. This episode is supported by FX's Dying for Sex, starring Michelle Williams and Jenny Slate. Inspired by a true story, this series follows Molly who, after receiving a terminal cancer diagnosis, decides to leave her husband to explore the full breadth of her sexual desires. She gets the courage and support to go on this sex quest from her best friend Nikki, who stays by her side through it all. FX is dying for sex. All episodes streaming April 4th on Hulu. We are supported by better help. Support systems are so important the most. Some would say, yeah, I have a just a slew of people I rely rely on.

[Monica Padman]

Yeah, me too.

[Dax Shepard]

Tom Hansen, I'm talking to you. In a society that glorifies hyper independence, it's easy to forget that we're all better when we have a support system behind us. Therapy can be a source of support for any area of your life. It's time to shift the focus from doing it all to knowing we're better when we ask for help. I have a very hard time asking for help.

[Monica Padman]

Yeah, therapy's great. We all, I mean, we can't really say it enough. We love it.

[Dax Shepard]

Swear by it.

[Monica Padman]

Yeah. Look forward to it.

[Dax Shepard]

The best part about Better Help is it's fully online, which helps make therapy affordable and convenient. Serving over 5 million people worldwide. Access a diverse network of more than 30,000 credentialed therapists with a wide range of specialties, and you can easily switch therapists anytime at no extra cost. Build your support system with BetterHelp. Visit betterhelp.comdax today to get 10% off your first month. That's BetterHelp hlp.comdax he's an upchurch.

[Ike Barinholtz]

What's up, man? You're so strong.

[Dax Shepard]

Oh, God.

[Ike Barinholtz]

Thanks for strong.

[Dax Shepard]

I'm just out of the shower too. I want to smell so fresh for you.

[Ike Barinholtz]

That is so hot.

[Monica Padman]

I also knew you were tall, but you seem extra tall today.

[Ike Barinholtz]

I.

[Monica Padman]

You grow. Okay.

[Ike Barinholtz]

I got some elevator shoes.

[Monica Padman]

Cool. You know what I liked when we had James Morrison on? He said he wore lifts. It was very nonchalant, but he threw it in there and I liked that.

[Ike Barinholtz]

Very confident. Yeah. We put a couple actors in lifts for running point. Chad Hanks is playing NBA player. You got to throw him in lifts, man. He had more swag when he had the lifts on. He just have sudden confidence out of nowhere.

[Dax Shepard]

There's a saying, right? 10ft tall and something. I feel 10ft tall and bulletproof.

[Ike Barinholtz]

I never heard that. Is that a Dak Hamburg original? Did you just quote yourself?

[Dax Shepard]

I'm gonna tell you afterwards. Cause it's so proprietary and novel. I don't want to steal it, but truly, you know, I was five minutes late. I was showering. That was great. I was on pace to make it in time. And I started thinking of an idea for us. And it was so twin. You know when a real idea hits you and you're like, oh. And then it's immediately writing itself incredibly fast.

[Ike Barinholtz]

You can't stop thinking about it.

[Dax Shepard]

I went into like a moment of.

[Ike Barinholtz]

Flow and you renewed, which I really appreciate myself. Yeah, of course.

[Monica Padman]

That's where the best ideas come from.

[Dax Shepard]

This is a tick I have when I.

[Ike Barinholtz]

That's how the Declaration of Independence was written. It was a group of men masturbating.

[Dax Shepard]

That Continental Congress floor.

[Ike Barinholtz]

That place like a goonfest. One big goon stash over there.

[Dax Shepard]

A goon fest. Wait, Tell us what gooning is. I just thought you meant a bunch of creeps.

[Ike Barinholtz]

Oh, no. Gooning is very advanced. Jacking off.

[Monica Padman]

Oh, can you explain?

[Ike Barinholtz]

It's like when young men who are kind of aimless will literally jack off all day until they are in almost trance like state.

[Monica Padman]

Oh, my God.

[Dax Shepard]

So it's a spiritual practice.

[Ike Barinholtz]

Yeah, it's just not something I do. I've tried. I just can't do it.

[Dax Shepard]

Your refractory period's like two days, isn't it?

[Ike Barinholtz]

My wife was so annoyed. She's like, it's her daughter's birthday.

[Monica Padman]

I'm like, hold on, I'm working on something.

[Ike Barinholtz]

But I first heard about this and then I became obsessed with the notion. And it's not edging. Edging is like getting to a point of them being like, time to do some push ups.

[Monica Padman]

Right.

[Ike Barinholtz]

This is more like I'm gonna go and then I'm just gonna keep going until I'm just like, oh, my God.

[Dax Shepard]

I mean, this is a game for the youthful. Because truly, even if you. For a kabillion dollars, you had to beat a record. How many times do you think you could actually do it in a day?

[Ike Barinholtz]

50? No. No, in all seriousness, I know it's.

[Dax Shepard]

More than me, but I can't imagine.

[Ike Barinholtz]

10.

[Dax Shepard]

10.

[Ike Barinholtz]

After 10, you're so exhausted and disgusted with yourself, you feel like just a piece of trash.

[Monica Padman]

How long does it take? How long does it take to rebound? Yeah.

[Dax Shepard]

That's what I think would become my issue in this hypothetical.

[Monica Padman]

Like 30 minutes or like 5?

[Dax Shepard]

Can we call it Bezos Bucks?

[Ike Barinholtz]

Bezos's Bucks.

[Dax Shepard]

Bezos Beat off Bucks Challenge.

[Monica Padman]

Oh, God.

[Ike Barinholtz]

Honey. I'm hosting a new show.

[Dax Shepard]

That was my idea.

[Ike Barinholtz]

We're calling it Triple B. That was the idea in the shower.

[Dax Shepard]

Yeah. Bezos Beat Off Bucks.

[Ike Barinholtz]

Bezos. How do I combine this?

[Dax Shepard]

Everyone else is so tired of it. But can I tell you my favorite joke I think I've ever come up with?

[Ike Barinholtz]

Yes.

[Dax Shepard]

Did you see that Forbes just recently announced the richest man in Mexico? No, Jeff Pesos.

[Ike Barinholtz]

Oh, my God.

[Dax Shepard]

It's so stupid.

[Ike Barinholtz]

It's good though, Jeff.

[Dax Shepard]

Pesos don't do that.

[Monica Padman]

No. It's like watching somebody open somebody's present. You said, this is the best joke I've ever come up with. And then we have to watch a reaction.

[Dax Shepard]

I'm not even worried, though, because what happens when you hear the joke is you go, oh, this is racist.

[Ike Barinholtz]

Right? That is where your mind goes. You're like, oh, shh.

[Dax Shepard]

That's why it's a nice joke, because it relieves the tension of thinking you're going to have to fake laugh at a racist joke.

[Ike Barinholtz]

Then you realize you're racist for thinking it might be racist in the first place.

[Dax Shepard]

Right. Then you're almost feeling Guilty. And then the relief of. Oh, it's worth.

[Ike Barinholtz]

That's a good one.

[Dax Shepard]

It's a good joke when it traps you, creates moral conflict.

[Ike Barinholtz]

What you don't want is someone to guess the answer. Like, who do you call the richest man in Mexico? And they're like, oh, I don't know, burrito late. Like, you know what I mean? You're like, no, no, no. Let me just get the joke out. God Almighty. Sure.

[Dax Shepard]

I didn't even model out that.

[Ike Barinholtz]

You just got to make sure you're not telling this joke to anyone you think might be ra.

[Dax Shepard]

Oh, wow. Well, I didn't even think that that could happen.

[Monica Padman]

Yeah.

[Dax Shepard]

Oh, let me guess.

[Ike Barinholtz]

No, no, no, no, no. Let me whip through this. It'll take literally five seconds.

[Dax Shepard]

Probably. Some people I would ask would know. It's like the telecommunications guy, right?

[Ike Barinholtz]

Yeah. Carlos Slim. And you're like, okay, all right, I'll.

[Dax Shepard]

Talk to you later.

[Ike Barinholtz]

Bye. But I am on the COVID of Forbes this month, which is what I'm here to.

[Monica Padman]

I could see that happening. You're very busy.

[Ike Barinholtz]

Very busy and very busy in the financial world. A lot of deals being made. Just closed a big deal on the way over here.

[Dax Shepard]

A lot of venture capital stuff.

[Ike Barinholtz]

A. Yeah, yeah. You and your boys. Because we're so busy making deals, we don't have time to say.

[Dax Shepard]

You don't have time, roi.

[Ike Barinholtz]

What'd you say?

[Dax Shepard]

Roi?

[Ike Barinholtz]

Oh, I.

[Dax Shepard]

Time is money.

[Ike Barinholtz]

Time is money. I've been saying that for years, and I love roi. And I know what it is, and I love it. And it's a big part of my portfolio.

[Dax Shepard]

You know what EBITDA is?

[Ike Barinholtz]

Yeah, dude, I know what EBITDA is. Jesus, Monica, what's going on? Yeah, I know what ebay is. Anyways, what else is going on?

[Dax Shepard]

Do you find, though, that you get hit with these terms and I don't even know. It's probably 50, 50 ego. But 50, yes. I don't want to acknowledge I don't know it.

[Ike Barinholtz]

I hate saying I don't know.

[Monica Padman]

Really.

[Ike Barinholtz]

There's a real freedom in it. But I really try to be a smarty pants.

[Monica Padman]

I'm surprised by that a little bit.

[Ike Barinholtz]

I present like a dumbass, but in reality, I'm self conscious of that. So I want to be like, yeah, I know what that is.

[Dax Shepard]

Same thing I read as a dumbass. It's a chip on my shoulder. I'm kind of secretly smart. And then I can't possibly expose myself as being ignorant on anything.

[Ike Barinholtz]

And then when I do, I talk my way out of it and say like, no, actually I'm still right. And people are like, right, I don't.

[Dax Shepard]

Know this because no one would know this. And to know it would be stupid.

[Ike Barinholtz]

Yeah, like a lot of times with our kids. My wife will explain something I recently learned about kind of how rain works.

[Dax Shepard]

Okay.

[Ike Barinholtz]

I just thought it fell from the sky. And then it makes sense that some of the water is evaporating, finds it way back up. And so I said, it comes from the sky. My wife goes, well, it also comes from bodies of water and stuff. And I was like, yeah, well, both are right. And it's just like, both things are true. Who cares? Yeah, I should just shut up and be like, oh, I didn't know that.

[Dax Shepard]

How old are your daughters?

[Ike Barinholtz]

33.

[Monica Padman]

Congratulations.

[Ike Barinholtz]

31 and 30.

[Dax Shepard]

Do you know that's too fast for them to grow? Because I held one when she was a baby.

[Ike Barinholtz]

You did. You came over and picked her up years ago. We've been giving them some stuff. What's that one called? Progeria. That's when you're really big.

[Dax Shepard]

No, that's acromegaly progerias. I think you're aging really quickly.

[Ike Barinholtz]

Reverse Benjamin Button or straight Benjamin Button? Well, Benjamin Button is you're born old and then you're getting younger.

[Monica Padman]

He's going off.

[Dax Shepard]

You're right.

[Ike Barinholtz]

Yeah.

[Dax Shepard]

By the way, I don't mind being wrong to you.

[Ike Barinholtz]

That's a really nice compliment.

[Monica Padman]

I think you're one of one in that category.

[Ike Barinholtz]

Have a thousand of these and you never want some. Same as you. 8 and 11. Then we have a 6 year old.

[Dax Shepard]

8, 11 and 6.

[Ike Barinholtz]

Soon to be 12.

[Dax Shepard]

Okay, now this is repugnant to admit out loud, but I assume you'll join me. Don't you love when they ask these questions of how things work or anything historic and you're like, oh my God, I have value in the situation.

[Ike Barinholtz]

As wonderful as that is, it is the opposite when the 11 and now even the 8 year old is like, hey, can you help me do a very simple math problem? And I'm like, I cannot. I literally cannot do it. Like I could sit here with you and try to pretend, but that's a huge bummer. But when it's history or social studies, government, any of that stuff, I am so excited to talk about it and really to show up.

[Dax Shepard]

You want to be valuable to them.

[Ike Barinholtz]

Yes. You get older, you're increasingly less and less valuable.

[Dax Shepard]

Now this is going to come later, but it would be crazy to not address it now. There's so Many things that I'm impressed with you for, but this Jeopardy Thing has me, like, insecure and envious in a way that's just so genuine. If people don't know you won Celebrity Jeopardy.

[Ike Barinholtz]

I did.

[Dax Shepard]

And before we even go on from there, there was a moment in Celebrity Jeopardy. Do you know how wild your true daily double was? Like, do you recognize the stakes of that?

[Ike Barinholtz]

Before I went on Jeopardy. Randomly, a friend of a friend had won a couple episodes of Jeopardy. And he said to me, my best piece of advice to you is, if it's early on, especially, go big on those daily doubles. The odds are you're going to know the answer and just don't be afraid. It was against my nature, but I went all in on a couple of them.

[Dax Shepard]

Yes, $16,700. And he made it a true daily double.

[Ike Barinholtz]

He risked all $16,700 in the final.

[Monica Padman]

How many episodes is it?

[Ike Barinholtz]

I won the first one, and then I went to the next round, won that, and then the finals was me versus Patton and Will.

[Dax Shepard]

Right. So three games in a row you won. And then you know how daily double works, right? You can wager anything.

[Monica Padman]

I know.

[Dax Shepard]

Up to your. I know you know. And if you don't know, it'd be stupid.

[Monica Padman]

Maybe some people don't know who are listening, so you should maybe explain it.

[Dax Shepard]

So when you get a daily double. Do you know what I mean? Daily double. And then you say how much you want to wager of your actual money? So you could say, $100. So I looked it up. I was like, I wonder if I set a record for the big daily double ever.

[Ike Barinholtz]

No, it couldn't be.

[Dax Shepard]

Not far off. Someone had a $25,600 daily double.

[Ike Barinholtz]

That's pretty good. That was what definitely won me that game. I tell my friends who are going on it. I'm like, go all in. I told the great Max Greenfield. I was like, you got to go all in. And afterwards, he's like, I didn't do it. Held back a little too much. It is scary because the thought of losing everything is very real.

[Dax Shepard]

How many daily doubles are in the game?

[Ike Barinholtz]

In the first round of Jeopardy, there's one. In double Jeopardy, there's two. But in Celebrity Jeopardy, there's three rounds.

[Monica Padman]

They're all daily doubles.

[Ike Barinholtz]

Everything's. I think I got at least two or three of them in that early on. If it's, like a category that you know and it's one of the earlier questions, like a $300 question, you're probably going to know It. If it was astrophysics for 500, I would probably not do it.

[Dax Shepard]

Math problem is what I was thinking. Yeah. Or osmosis.

[Ike Barinholtz]

The whole category is osmosis. I'm screwed. I wouldn't even know. One of the answers would probably be egg. Egg?

[Monica Padman]

Yeah.

[Ike Barinholtz]

What is egg?

[Dax Shepard]

Yeah. Yeah. But anyways, I watched the clip of you doing that today and I hadn't seen it prior to this. I was listening to that question with so much an. Remember it Well, I know the answer. It was Harriet Tubman Harris about the underground railroad.

[Ike Barinholtz]

Right. God bless celebrity Jeopardy.

[Monica Padman]

Okay, we're there.

[Ike Barinholtz]

Just like, listen, celebrities, we have special brains, very creative.

[Dax Shepard]

We're goons.

[Ike Barinholtz]

We like to goon. As a celeb, you have to reserve the red carpet in gooning.

[Monica Padman]

Yeah, of course.

[Ike Barinholtz]

That's just part of the.

[Dax Shepard]

That'd be 30, 40% of the brain capacity.

[Monica Padman]

Relegated to that, it's like an onomatopoeia.

[Ike Barinholtz]

It's really bad.

[Monica Padman]

This is how it is.

[Ike Barinholtz]

You're having a real visceral reaction to a Monica. And you're right to.

[Monica Padman]

Thank you.

[Ike Barinholtz]

You shouldn't k shame. But you can kink Shame. Gooners.

[Dax Shepard]

Wait, Can I ask you a perverted question?

[Monica Padman]

Yeah.

[Dax Shepard]

Do you have any interest in. And it'd have to be someone you were very attracted to.

[Monica Padman]

Okay.

[Dax Shepard]

If you had the opportunity to watch a live stream of them gooning, would you watch?

[Ike Barinholtz]

Jude Law is gonna goon. He's gonna have a live session on Instagram. He's ready to blow up his career.

[Dax Shepard]

Act Goon Law. Oh, no.

[Ike Barinholtz]

He's had enough of acting movies.

[Dax Shepard]

He's done all there was to do.

[Ike Barinholtz]

Not done at all.

[Monica Padman]

I would watch for a little and see if I wanted to keep going. I can't say now that I would. For the whole day.

[Ike Barinholtz]

The whole day. You wouldn't last more. Listen, as a man who has masturbated throughout his life, I can assure you that even someone you're really into after a few minutes, you're like, okay, shame on you.

[Monica Padman]

Right? It's got to be.

[Dax Shepard]

There's people who need help in the world.

[Ike Barinholtz]

You're wasting your life. I'm wasting my life. Peace out.

[Monica Padman]

Yeah, you know what?

[Dax Shepard]

Tell me.

[Monica Padman]

But I'll be honest. You're right. If I was watching a live stream, that's probably a no go. But if I thought. Thought it was about me.

[Ike Barinholtz]

Yeah, right.

[Monica Padman]

I'd be more.

[Dax Shepard]

Well, he would be holding a photo of you in this scenario.

[Ike Barinholtz]

Oh, he wouldn't be looking right at her. Or he's a real Pervert.

[Dax Shepard]

A tasteful bathing suit, shot of Monica or her eyes.

[Ike Barinholtz]

I like to look at photos of women I'm in the room with and masturbate for 12 hours. I'm an insane person, by the way.

[Monica Padman]

Oh, my God. Somebody has that.

[Ike Barinholtz]

I think this is an old Patton Oswald joke, but it was something like. Like no matter what your kink or your fetish is, and you think it is so dark and weird and wrong. There is a online magazine dedicated to it. There is a guy sitting around a table saying, this is the worst issue of Wiffle Ball Fuckers we've ever made. Okay?

[Dax Shepard]

So as you point out, Celebrity Jeopardy. It's just not at the same level as regular Jeopardy. Nor should it be.

[Ike Barinholtz]

They want to have celebrities having fun. It's for charity. So the questions are, I would say, 30% easier than your typical kind of Jeopardy question. Right.

[Dax Shepard]

And we want to hear from everyone, too, so we gotta open it up. It's not like we want to invite Julia Louise Dreyfus and then we don't hear from her. No. Right.

[Ike Barinholtz]

It's a waste.

[Dax Shepard]

I don't know why I use her as an example because she's a very.

[Ike Barinholtz]

Smart, would probably do very well, would actually be very good. If you're listening to this, Julia, sign up for Celebrity Jeopardy. Now.

[Dax Shepard]

What's incredible timing wise is he wins the celebrity tournament, right? As they change the rules. And that allows him to enter the real tournament of champions, like Mount Olympus.

[Ike Barinholtz]

Which I've watched every tournament of champions. I get starstruck when I see these people and stuff, so. So I was very honored.

[Dax Shepard]

Yes. So what went through your mind?

[Ike Barinholtz]

Michael Davies, who produces a show, great guy, was like, hey, we want you to be in this tournament of champions. And I was so flattered, but also instantly acknowledged the fact that there was going to be zero chance that I would not come in last place. And I just kind of designated myself as the mascot. Literally showing up that day, I remember saying to myself, just have fun. That's the best you're going to get out of this. And I would love to not end up in the negative. I was confident that wouldn't happen.

[Dax Shepard]

He enters the quarterfinals, is where it starts. And one of the contestants, Ray Lalondi.

[Ike Barinholtz]

Ray Lalonde. He won 13 games in a row.

[Monica Padman]

Oh, my God.

[Dax Shepard]

And I bent him over and fucked him.

[Ike Barinholtz]

I did. Listen, it was bad. A. I am married and I'm in a happy marriage and he's a nice older man and I shouldn't have done that, but I beat him.

[Dax Shepard]

Ike Won. And also the other contestant, he's amazing, too.

[Ike Barinholtz]

It was crazy. I had a couple moments in the game where I got a little lucky. I had a daily double again. That helped me out. I remember what one of them was. It was numerical film titles.

[Dax Shepard]

Oh.

[Ike Barinholtz]

And so it was like, 800 bucks. It was an daily double. And I was like, falling.

[Monica Padman]

Was the answer seven?

[Ike Barinholtz]

No, it was thirteen. This Fellini film.

[Dax Shepard]

Eight and a half.

[Ike Barinholtz]

Eight and a half. So I knew it. I had enough juice to kind of be competitive into the film.

[Dax Shepard]

You had a big stack. Now, playing poker.

[Ike Barinholtz]

Got the confidence. You got the chips, you got the.

[Dax Shepard]

Swagger, you got the looks, you got the height.

[Ike Barinholtz]

Got my lips on going to Final Jeopardy. I was like, okay, maybe this could happen. And then the category for Final Jeopardy. It was Roman Poets.

[Dax Shepard]

And you felt good about that?

[Ike Barinholtz]

No, I felt fucking terrible. I was like, it's over. Instantly. I was like, okay, I know two Roman Poets.

[Dax Shepard]

Which are they? What if you go, I know one?

[Ike Barinholtz]

Well, at first I was like, I know one. Virgil. But then I was like, then there's Ovid.

[Dax Shepard]

Oh, my God. I don't know Ovid.

[Monica Padman]

You're good, Ovid.

[Ike Barinholtz]

Like, I always try. Like, what made me think of Ovid?

[Dax Shepard]

I wish you developed a list when you got really smart. Cause you almost said, you go, ovid. Like, you almost.

[Ike Barinholtz]

The thing about Ovid is that I knew that he was active around 100 CE and just turned into a different person.

[Dax Shepard]

You definitely see your Hellenic study site, your brain. And then this is a whole new. You have a lisp.

[Ike Barinholtz]

I remember he was exiled. So you've seen Eyes Wide Shut. Remember the scene when they go to Sidney Pollock's huge, beautiful Christmas party and they get separated? That really cheesy guy walks up to Nicole Kidman, takes her champagne, and she's like, I believe that's mine. And he's like, my darling, I'm absolutely certain of it. And he at one point goes to her, and he's like, are you familiar with Ovid and the Art of Love?

[Dax Shepard]

Oh.

[Ike Barinholtz]

So for a second, like, poet love, Ovid came into my head. And then I read the answer, and I was like, I'm gonna go with Ovid. So I wrote that down. And so then. Then it went down the line. And Ray got it right.

[Dax Shepard]

Of course Ray got it right.

[Ike Barinholtz]

It went to me. And Ken Jennings, who I'm obsessed with, was like, I. In Hollywood, do they sit around and talk about Ovid? And my answer came up. He goes, oh, they do. And I remember. I'll Never forget hearing the crowd go.

[Monica Padman]

Wow, this is so exciting.

[Dax Shepard]

He seemed like the biggest genius on earth.

[Ike Barinholtz]

It was crazy.

[Dax Shepard]

They didn't know. You were like, I know two. I'm going with one of the two. They were like, wow, he read that. And he's like, that's Ovid. All.

[Ike Barinholtz]

That's some Ovid shit.

[Dax Shepard]

That's my man, Ovid.

[Ike Barinholtz]

Please give me a hard one next time, Ken. But Melissa still had in gone yet because she was in first place. And so she wrote who is juvenile? Who's another poet?

[Dax Shepard]

That's a rapper too.

[Ike Barinholtz]

At that one second duration, the audience realized I'd won. And then there was another, like, oh, what a life. Like, the craziest thing ever. The real win was going to the semis. I had to go back to the next day. It was playing against another two incredible players. Ben Chan. And I'm blanking on the other guy's name, but he was incredible. And that's the one that's keeping me up at night still.

[Dax Shepard]

Were you close?

[Ike Barinholtz]

50. 50 guest had. I got it right. I'm winning.

[Dax Shepard]

No, you were ahead in money.

[Ike Barinholtz]

Oh, yeah. I was surging. I was. I don't know if I was ahead, but I would have won.

[Dax Shepard]

Can you come back?

[Ike Barinholtz]

I will one day for sure. Okay. Jeopardy is a huge part of me. I love that show. It's incredible. But it was crazy. The final category was something like Greek history. So it was another, like, antiquity classical thing where I was like, okay. And then this one was this Greek writer wrote this phrase about, boom. And it was like, our enemies, blah, blah, blah. So in my mind, I was like, okay, enemies of the ancient Greeks. The only ones I'm coming up with are Persians and Spartans. I'm just gonna go with Spartans. And it was Persia.

[Monica Padman]

Good God.

[Ike Barinholtz]

So had I just gone the other way on that one, I would have gone to the finals. So I will literally some nights just be like, why didn't I just go the other way?

[Dax Shepard]

I'm so proud of you guys.

[Monica Padman]

I know.

[Dax Shepard]

This is such an accomplishment.

[Monica Padman]

This is something.

[Ike Barinholtz]

It's a very fun thing. I love trivia.

[Dax Shepard]

And, you know, he didn't go to college. That's what's fun is he's cobbled together this crazy knowledge.

[Ike Barinholtz]

No, I didn't go to college. One day I had, like, a job, kind of like a custodial job.

[Monica Padman]

Okay.

[Ike Barinholtz]

And there was a problem, like, on a chalkboard, and I saw it and I just kind of knew it, so I wrote it down.

[Dax Shepard]

Yeah.

[Ike Barinholtz]

And a guy who worked there kind of in an administrative position. Saw it, and that kind of got the ball rolling. But I wouldn't say it's a goodwill hunting.

[Monica Padman]

Okay. Do you practice? You know how people can get good at crosswords? By understanding how crosswords work?

[Ike Barinholtz]

Yes.

[Monica Padman]

Is that how Jeopardy is where you could learn tricks? Kind of. Or not really. You just know it.

[Ike Barinholtz]

There are little tricks when you go on Jeopardy. A big thing is the buzzer. I always thought at home watching it. The buzzer is just something you just want to ring as fast as possible. You want to ring as fast as possible, but you don't want to ring once. You want to go Nintendo controller style. Really? Yeah. Because if anyone rings early, the minute Ken stops asking the question, it coincides with these little lights around the board that kind of go off. And once those lights go off is when he stops talking. And that is when your system is unlocked. If you ring in early a quarter of a second, you are locked out.

[Dax Shepard]

Locked out for how long?

[Ike Barinholtz]

You're locked out for a quarter of a second. So it's that fast. But that's enough time for someone else to get in there. But so you want to keep doing it in case no one else rings. So that was a big thing that I had to learn.

[Dax Shepard]

I really appreciate that rule that they have. Because when we are at home, Kristin and I are competing, watching Jeopardy. A rule in the house. Cause I'm dyslexic. Is you can't read ahead and then answer out loud. I need to hear what Ken's asking.

[Ike Barinholtz]

I'm like, kristen, where I for years just answer right away. Which is so rude. People would be annoyed. It's because my parents did that because they were rude when they would watch it. So I've since changed that, by the way. Is that the last time I saw your. Your wife, we were doing Jimmy Kimmel together. And they were like, hey, will you do a bit like a pre tape bit? It was called Celebrity hide and seek or something like that, or Celebrity lost and found. I can't remember. And they were like, we're gonna have a person off the street go into like a Hollywood Boulevard gift shop, and they're gonna be looking for you, but you'll be hidden as part of the atmosphere. Okay, cool.

[Monica Padman]

Camouflage.

[Ike Barinholtz]

Camouflage. Right. So we go in. It wasn't like a souvenir shop, a souvenir shot. There's, you know, half mannequins, the upper torso of a mannequin, and it was wearing a T shirt that says Hollywood and then a hat that says like the Stars. And there's three of them. One of them they removed and I went under the table and was posed like a mannequin with my hat and the hoodie on. And so I cannot move at all. Kristin's in another part of it. She's kind of buried. So they find this young woman off Holly Boulevard and cousin Sal is like, here's who you're going to be looking for in the store. And he holds up a picture of Kristen. She's like, oh my God. She's like my favorite. I can't believe this.

[Dax Shepard]

I'm going to pee when I see her.

[Ike Barinholtz]

So crazy. And again, she's 20ft away. I can hear her in my earpiece and I am like right here. And I can't believe move. And then Sal's like, great. And then you're going to try to find Ike Barinholz. And she's like, I don't know who that is. And I was just like perfect. And I could hear Kimmel laughing in my earpiece cuz he's in the studio and I can't move. Just coated in indignity. So then she found me and like right away I was like, how do you not know who I am? I'm going to send you blockers on itunes. Jesus.

[Dax Shepard]

To continue the parallel. Now imagine that's my life. I'm married to her. You had one, one mix up in a souvenir shop one day and you.

[Ike Barinholtz]

Really remember you have thousands of hours at air and I go to a.

[Dax Shepard]

Hotel and the guy calls me Mr. Bell, you know.

[Ike Barinholtz]

Oh yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, that's a good one.

[Dax Shepard]

As bad as I feel for you. Yeah, try that being your all day.

[Ike Barinholtz]

Existence to my identity.

[Dax Shepard]

Oh, you listen to podcasts. I'm like the Kristen Bell of podcast.

[Ike Barinholtz]

You got near butt in there. What are you listening to? Can I get you a good suggestion? Because guess who doesn't have a podcast from Chris? Yeah, yeah, Crystal Bell. I don't remember her interviewing Jeff Burn Bridges. So whatever. So you tell me anyways. Yeah, we need more towels. Thanks.

[Dax Shepard]

Yeah, it's obviously not that bad, but there is regularly a situation where someone comes up and they want a picture and I really don't know do they want me in the photo or not? That is an hourly occurrence when we're.

[Ike Barinholtz]

Like at an airport or New York. That's a rough one.

[Dax Shepard]

I certainly don't want to presume they want also me in the photo. So half the time I'm out and they'll go like, oh no, no, you Too. But that's only half the time, right?

[Ike Barinholtz]

They feel bad. Let's get one with your husband.

[Dax Shepard]

You stand there, he's like, trying to figure out how to crop. Get a nice gap between and Kristin.

[Ike Barinholtz]

Last year, or maybe the year before that, we went to England for the holidays. And on Christmas day in London, they put in their roast. And then you go outside, you go to the pub and you hang around. And even though it's cold, the streets are really packed with people. So nice.

[Monica Padman]

Very meat cutie.

[Ike Barinholtz]

It's very Richard Curtis. So we're there with my wife and a lot of her families are like 20 of us, and we're in this beautiful village green in Richmond.

[Dax Shepard]

Hold on, I gotta ask a very rude question. Are you flipping the bill for all this, or do they have their own money?

[Ike Barinholtz]

My family? 20 people.

[Dax Shepard]

Her family?

[Ike Barinholtz]

No, no. Oh, no, no. They take care of themselves. This isn't like a Muhammad Ali situation where I'm like, it's my cousins and.

[Dax Shepard]

I'm only 20 family members.

[Ike Barinholtz]

I got a round of drinks.

[Dax Shepard]

Okay. I picked up a couple dinners.

[Ike Barinholtz]

Yeah, we're all there. And it's beautiful. And we had gone to Paris before that, and it was the first time that I just had really noticed that people were kind of coming up to me. And I always wonder, oh, what movie had come out on Canal Plus? So anyways, Christmas Day, London, we're at this pub, and this woman walks up to me, and she's got that big smile on her face, and she's holding her phone. And you know that look when you're excited. And I'm like, h. And she goes, hi. I go, pictures. She goes, please. And I grab and like, what's your name? And she's like, oh, Sandra. And I'm like, hi, Sandra. And I'm doing the selfie thing, and I'm like, here we go. How's it going? Merry Christmas, by the way. She's like, thank you. And I go, all right, let's do kind of a fun one.

[Dax Shepard]

Oh, you really give up.

[Ike Barinholtz]

Because it was Christmas.

[Dax Shepard]

Okay.

[Ike Barinholtz]

You know, it was a day to give back. So I give it to her, and she's like, thank you.

[Monica Padman]

Sorry.

[Ike Barinholtz]

Do you mind taking a photo of me and my sisters? My wife has watched the entire. And she's laughing the hardest she's ever fucking laughed in her life.

[Dax Shepard]

Thank God.

[Ike Barinholtz]

She's laughing harder than any movie or TV show I've ever been in. Runs over to her siblings, and she's like, you're not going to believe what just happened. She's pointing my loser husband. Yeah. Then like the rest of the holiday, the young nephews and cousins would be like, do you remember when that woman, you thought she knew who you were? And I was like, yeah, I do. I remember that.

[Dax Shepard]

The full weight of the Tall Poppy syndrome. They hacked you. For the next five days.

[Ike Barinholtz]

They got my ass.

[Dax Shepard]

I have a very memorable one just like that was in Miami with a friend. And these two attractive girls came up. It's important because it makes it that much worse. And they said, can we get a picture? They hand me the camera, I hand it to my friend Scotty and then I grab them, I put my arms around both of them and get myself in the center. And they're both immediately like, oh, my God. What? And I was like, oh, fuck.

[Ike Barinholtz]

It just was really, I'm so sorry.

[Dax Shepard]

Handsy.

[Monica Padman]

Oh my God.

[Dax Shepard]

And then the only thing worse than that is to then try to explain to them you're famous and you're used to this.

[Ike Barinholtz]

Yeah. I thought you were a fan. And I grew up all my f. All right. Really sorry, ladies. Anyways, I'm known for being handsy. Do you listen to podcasts?

[Monica Padman]

No. That's how we're.

[Dax Shepard]

This is 17 years ago.

[Monica Padman]

I'm real.

[Ike Barinholtz]

Don't worry, I'm not scumbag. I'm here to Kristen, don't implicate her.

[Dax Shepard]

50% of the time, people do want me in the photo.

[Monica Padman]

Oh, my God. Can you imagine, though, if you were not a celebrity and someone came up and asked, will you take a picture? And they got in the picture with you. That's what's happening in their brain.

[Ike Barinholtz]

It's scary, wild. Yeah. This guy's either like a psychopath or he's drunk.

[Dax Shepard]

I was eight years older than these women and they were much hotter than me.

[Ike Barinholtz]

I don't believe that.

[Dax Shepard]

Yeah, by a long shot.

[Monica Padman]

Maybe they're used to that. To being like, oh, I gotta get.

[Ike Barinholtz]

Yeah, maybe they're in Miami.

[Dax Shepard]

I can't imagine it was the first time someone put their arm on their shoulder.

[Ike Barinholtz]

I mean, you're in Miami. What do you want?

[Monica Padman]

You're asking this?

[Dax Shepard]

It's like the equivalent of it was your fault cuz you. It's like you went to Miami.

[Ike Barinholtz]

Your Honor, she was in Miami. What more do you want me to say? Okay, you're still going to jail for life in Miami, Florida.

[Dax Shepard]

You and I were too big to not be a leading man, but we are not good looking enough to be the leading man.

[Ike Barinholtz]

Very true.

[Dax Shepard]

You can't make us the Sidekick. Because the leading man sidekick can't be towering over him and be bigger. I feel like we're both in the same weird nether zone.

[Ike Barinholtz]

Yeah, I've played number one a couple times in my life. First of all, it's a lot of work. Yeah, a lot of work. You're there all the time. Early in my career, the thought of being cast as a leading man was just crazy. They were like, oh, you insane? Look at his teeth. You know what I mean? You smell them?

[Dax Shepard]

Wait, no, they can't smell on camera.

[Ike Barinholtz]

This guy constantly shits his pants, which I've worked on. If there's any casting directors out there, I'm not doing that anymore.

[Dax Shepard]

This guy's a shit pig.

[Ike Barinholtz]

This tall Jewish shit pig. Or Timothee Chalamet. Oh, that's a tough one. Let me think about that one. I would find myself as kind of like second guy. I love playing that part because you get to be so reactive and tomb it up. You get a lot of the comedy. But I would describe us as weirdos a little bit because there were guys who were our height. Like Jeff Stoltz. Super hot guy. The guy.

[Dax Shepard]

Timothy Oliphant.

[Ike Barinholtz]

Timothy Oliphant, the guy who Tim always says look, looks like him.

[Dax Shepard]

Josh Duhamel.

[Ike Barinholtz]

Josh Du. Told me he had Josh Duhamel pose with his family for a Christmas card instead. No. Fantastic.

[Dax Shepard]

Did he get confused for one another?

[Ike Barinholtz]

Yeah, he told me that.

[Monica Padman]

I'm surprised.

[Ike Barinholtz]

Back in the day.

[Dax Shepard]

Okay.

[Ike Barinholtz]

Yeah.

[Dax Shepard]

I want to add too. I actually don't think that would be the case if I entered acting now. I'm much more attractive as a middle aged man than I was as a 20 year old.

[Ike Barinholtz]

I was not a gangly. I was disgusting. I was. Was like a loser.

[Monica Padman]

I don't believe any of this.

[Ike Barinholtz]

Some men, it gets a little bit easier. You don't look as bad as you get older.

[Dax Shepard]

Exactly. And relative to your peers, you start looking better.

[Ike Barinholtz]

If you've taken at all any care of yourself, all you gotta do is wait it out.

[Dax Shepard]

Yeah.

[Ike Barinholtz]

Everyone's gonna get old and ugly and you're gonna still stay the same.

[Dax Shepard]

This hair was thin in my 20s, but it ain't bad in my 50s. Hello.

[Ike Barinholtz]

No plugs. Just a little bit of. What do they call it? No, I. I do the Everyone prp. I do the prp. Have you done that prp?

[Dax Shepard]

I haven't.

[Ike Barinholtz]

I went the first time and it hurt so much. You know, it's just kind of waking stuff up. And then I went back. I just remember it hurt so bad. And the nurse was like, I forgot. Do you like the laughing gas? And I was like, that's a option, yeah. Yes. So now when I go, you suck on it. And you're like, did you guys watch White? Lol. Mike White is a genius.

[Dax Shepard]

Stay tuned for more Armchair Expert if you dare. We are supported by the all new Galaxy S25 Ultra from Samsung. If it's time to upgrade your phone, don't just do the same old thing. Get a true AI companion that's enhanced with the latest and greatest tech. The Galaxy S25 Ultra evolves with you to handle multiple, multiple tasks with just one ask. For example, you can tell it to search for recipes and add it to your notes, or find a restaurant nearby and text it to your friends. And it does. Which is so nice because when you cut down on time toggling from app to app, you get more time back. And you can use that time to actually cook that recipe or hang with your friends at that restaurant. And now Brief with Galaxy AI gives you personalized daily bread briefings that keep you a step ahead. See your appointments, the weather, your energy score and more all in one place. Get your Galaxy S25 Ultra now at samsung.com compatible with select apps. Requires Google Gemini account. Results may vary based on input. Check responses for accuracy. Now Brief with Galaxy AI displays daily select information from select apps may require Internet connection. Galaxy AI features by Samsung free through 2025 and require Samsung access account login we are supported by Liquid iv. You know curiosity. It is the source of our livelihood. So I'm quite fond of Curiosity Curiosity and staying engaged with the world and people around us fuels what we do on this show. However you explore life or find interesting people, fuel your journey with extraordinary hydration from Liquid IV powered by Liv Hydra Science. Visit Liquid I.com to explore flavors like the zesty new hydration Multiplier Sugar Sugar free raspberry lemonade I just had that on my bike ride and use Code dax to save 20 off your first order. Break the mold and own your ritual. Just one stick and 16 ounces of water hydrates better than water alone. And they're small in light, so they fit easily into any backpack, purse, diaper, bag, whatever you're using. Convenient, quick and effective hydration. It just makes sense. Fuel your curiosity with extraordinary hydration From Liquid Liquid IV. Get 20 off your first order of Liquid IV when you go to LiquidIV.com and use code DAX at checkout. That's 20 off your first order with code [e-mail] we are supported by Drunk Elephant. Oh, my father would be so happy at the name Drunk Elephant.

[Monica Padman]

Great brand.

[Dax Shepard]

Yeah. You may have already heard me talking about my new favorite facial moisturizer. The proteiny polypeptide cream by Drunk Elephant. Oh, my skin is so silky. Silky but not shiny, Monica.

[Monica Padman]

I know. Not too oily. That's a huge thing in a moisturizer.

[Dax Shepard]

Yeah. It's lightweight gel cream which delivers daily moisture with nine signal peptides. That means nine active ingredients to help skin look firmer and smoother by supporting the natural production of collagen. They work by communicating with your skin cells, encouraging them to produce more of the collagen your skin needs to maintain a youthful appearance while also protecting against collagen loss. The result is stronger, younger looking skin that's more resistant to aging. Who out there doesn't want your skin with Drunk Elephant? Discover Protini polypeptide cream at Ulta Beauty stores and [e-mail]. oh, my God. When you're on gas, do you inhale the out of it and then get too high and then have to start breathing through your mouth?

[Ike Barinholtz]

I do the equivalent of lung chugging where I'm just like, give me the good stuff stuff, baby. It's so nice.

[Dax Shepard]

You can do it legally and with medical supervision. It's like you're free to get as high as possible and there's a staff there to bring you back.

[Ike Barinholtz]

But I'm such a loser. I hope my wife doesn't hear this. We have like this whipped cream. This like nice whipped cream that's in a can that we put on the waffles. It's like ready whip, but it's fancier. It's French.

[Monica Padman]

Ooh.

[Ike Barinholtz]

Whenever it's the end of the can and we're cleaning the kitchen, I always just kind of duck my head out. You get a nice 3 second buzz.

[Dax Shepard]

By the time you got it in the trash can, it's worn off, gone.

[Ike Barinholtz]

Then you're kind of angry. Ah, God damn.

[Monica Padman]

Do you drink?

[Dax Shepard]

He's one of these guys I'm so jealous of. He has like the perfect relationship with all of it. He can party when it's called for.

[Ike Barinholtz]

As you get older, you definitely want to do it less. Also, they're just coming out with articles now that are like, like back in the 80s, they were like, doctors say you should have two martinis a day.

[Dax Shepard]

Exactly.

[Ike Barinholtz]

And now they're like, all alcohol is poison. Which is very depressing because I do love on like a Friday evening to make A nice cocktail cooking dinner, highball, methadone, Negroni, one of those. I love that. But as you get older, hangovers, even if you have sometimes just two drinks, you wake up the next day you're like, I feel like shit. So it's not worth it.

[Dax Shepard]

But he can take the right amount of weed as needed.

[Ike Barinholtz]

Little mushroom squares that people take. Sure.

[Dax Shepard]

Easy peasy for you.

[Ike Barinholtz]

Yeah.

[Dax Shepard]

Will you ever blow lines anymore?

[Ike Barinholtz]

No, no.

[Dax Shepard]

That kills people now because of the fentanyl.

[Ike Barinholtz]

Anything that has a probability of killing you. That's embarrassing. You can't do once you have kids. If a 48 year old man dies of a cocaine overdose at a bathroom, at a friend's birthday party, that is mortifying.

[Dax Shepard]

And it's not even just three children. Three daughters.

[Ike Barinholtz]

Three daughters. Not to be that guy. But it's like I have daughters and I don't want them to know that I died on the floor of a bathroom. It's also been so long as you get older too, you start to settle down. Cocaine is not a good drug for parents. But now the fun thing with drugs are they're so much more organized now. They're predictable. There's people that are making them that you don't think they made it out of like their sock in a bathtub.

[Monica Padman]

Yeah, it's packaged.

[Ike Barinholtz]

It's packaged nicely. Like we went to go see the Dead and Co at the Sphere.

[Dax Shepard]

Yeah.

[Ike Barinholtz]

We were doing the studio and it was Seth and everyone. So there was a lot of fun things. They have acid that is in a little like a banaka spray.

[Dax Shepard]

No way.

[Ike Barinholtz]

And it's not like back in the day when you take a little piece of acid and for like 14 hours you're like gone into a dark place. This is more like. Oh, this just makes me dance more.

[Dax Shepard]

Oh, wow.

[Monica Padman]

Crazy.

[Ike Barinholtz]

Yeah. I took a little bit and then at the end of the night, at one point I just grabbed it and I was going. And then I hear John Mayer go, thank you, Vegas, we love you. Good night, John Mayor.

[Monica Padman]

Go.

[Ike Barinholtz]

I walked into that casino like anyone have either. Lauding them around. Out of all the things I've seen and done drug wise, nothing messes people up more than eating weed.

[Monica Padman]

Seth just said that if you eat.

[Ike Barinholtz]

Too much weed, you think you are going to die. I one time when I lived in Amsterdam, man, I took papariana. He had no idea what the dosage was. And we decided to drive to the airport.

[Monica Padman]

Sure.

[Ike Barinholtz]

Because there was a Burger King there that was open.

[Monica Padman]

Okay.

[Ike Barinholtz]

And my friends, we pulled up to like arrivals. I Go. I need to wait in the car. I can't go in. And they're like, okay. And then right as they walk away, I was like, I'm gonna get murdered in the car. So I locked the doors and then passed out. So they came back and for like an hour was banging on the door. You have, like, real panic attacks and stuff, so don't eat too much wheat.

[Dax Shepard]

I don't know if I told you this in 2018 in your first interview, but the highest I've ever been where I was losing huge chunks of time was me and my three friends in Amsterdam. Space cake. And it was poppy seed loaf.

[Ike Barinholtz]

Yeah.

[Dax Shepard]

And it was just straight delic. And we were hungry, and we ate one. And then I was like, we'll have another. And they're like, you shouldn't have another. And I'm like, we'll be fine. They're so delicious. I was just eating it for the taste at that point.

[Ike Barinholtz]

Yeah, that's the worst.

[Dax Shepard]

And we got into this insane cycle. We made it back to our hostel, and we were all sitting on bar stools, and I noticed all of a sudden, I had been staring at the bartender. And I go like, oh, boy. My jaws are there. And I turn and I look, and all three of my friends are also staring at the bartender with the same look on their face.

[Ike Barinholtz]

Three morons.

[Dax Shepard]

I have four idiots from Detroit. I go, oh, my God, guys, look at your faces. And everyone goes, were you doing that, too? I just looked forward to same look on my face, same staring. Look over. They're doing it again. And we were just in this insane cycle. That was madness.

[Ike Barinholtz]

That's where he came up with his character for Mediocrity, which I just rewatched. It ages like a Bordeaux.

[Dax Shepard]

Oh, it's getting better.

[Ike Barinholtz]

Better and funnier. And I totally forgot the beginning. The scientist is turning into a pimp, kind of. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Dax Shepard]

He's obsessed with upgrades.

[Ike Barinholtz]

You always forget that part. It's seeping into my top 10. It is the greatest movie. It's so goddamn funny.

[Dax Shepard]

I don't think I've watched it since I first watched it. But the thing that I loved most from the script and while we were shooting is my favorite stuff was all the ads. If you don't smoke Carlton's fuck you, fuck you. Or that Fuddruckers had become Blood Fuckers and that they're showing the passage of time of how they iterated into buttfuckers.

[Ike Barinholtz]

David Herman was killing me in this one. The movie's amazing. And you should rewatch it. Treat yourself. Watch it with your kids. Do your kids watch any of the stuff you do?

[Dax Shepard]

Yeah, we showed them Hit and Run the other day.

[Ike Barinholtz]

Oh, okay.

[Dax Shepard]

Because it's such a neat period of time for Chris and I. We made this movie for a million dollars. It's about being in love. Cuz if they've seen us and stuff together, I'm the asshole and went in Rome annoying her. I kind of wanted them to see.

[Ike Barinholtz]

Something romantic, nice about their parents. That's very sweet.

[Dax Shepard]

How about you?

[Ike Barinholtz]

I just started to. I mean, there was a lot of stuff that just R rated comedies. We can't show them. But not too long ago, they started watching the Mindy project. Mindy Kaling was on here, by the way. She had the best time.

[Dax Shepard]

She was at the Republic.

[Ike Barinholtz]

That was the report. Like literally as she was leaving, texting me.

[Dax Shepard]

We know that you shit mouthed us a little bit.

[Ike Barinholtz]

What'd I say?

[Monica Padman]

Yeah, snacks.

[Dax Shepard]

You told her to bring snacks? Cause it's long.

[Monica Padman]

She said, Ike said bring snacks. You're like, oh.

[Dax Shepard]

And also hydrate.

[Ike Barinholtz]

Make sure you're hydrated.

[Dax Shepard]

You only sleep about 12 hours.

[Ike Barinholtz]

Bring a toothbrush because you're gonna take a nap at some point. No, she loved it.

[Monica Padman]

Oh, it was so exciting.

[Ike Barinholtz]

She does not do a lot of podcast.

[Dax Shepard]

We've been begging for seven years. Oh my God.

[Monica Padman]

Literally seven years.

[Ike Barinholtz]

We did our show together.

[Dax Shepard]

So the other thing is yours was little longer. You had a hot five years on camera and then you're kind of out of the business.

[Ike Barinholtz]

Yes. Mad TV was like young guy doing it.

[Dax Shepard]

And then promising no one would cast me.

[Ike Barinholtz]

I would test for pilot after pilot and it would be me against four guys who are either much better looking.

[Dax Shepard]

They'd be watching T. Like, do you feel like you could smell them? I feel like I could smell them.

[Ike Barinholtz]

Listen, I like this guy. I heard he's a Jewish pig.

[Dax Shepard]

But then you pivot and you start writing. And this is the same with me. I had like a really hot three or four year years, punk idiography. And then really, I don't know if I can get hired for anything. And then I just go to writing. And then I have a script under development at Imagine. And while I'm in a note session on that script, they're casting Parenthood. David Nevins happens to say, boy, he would be a great Crosby. And then I'm kind of back into acting.

[Ike Barinholtz]

That's amazing.

[Dax Shepard]

We have the same exact story, right?

[Ike Barinholtz]

It is. Yeah. My David Nevins was Mindy.

[Dax Shepard]

Yeah.

[Ike Barinholtz]

Who was like these guys wrote a script that I like and I have my own show that we're starting, me and Dave Stassen. And then she was like, oh, you should be on the show. And then she created this character. A lot of those things happened. I haven't watched it in 10 plus years. Now that my kids are watching it.

[Dax Shepard]

Do you cry?

[Ike Barinholtz]

I did cry at one scene just because I remember shooting it was being very emotional. It was right around when my kid was born. But it really was great to watch and kind of laugh because it's such a. Just a fun, funny show where all the characters are the perfect amount of dumb and vapid, but also very kind of sweet. So it's really nice to go back. Then I pushed it one night where my older one was on the couch and we're flipping through HBO and Neighbors was on. And just in my mind I was like, watch a little bit of Neighbors. Erica came down, she's like, are crazy.

[Dax Shepard]

Yeah, I know.

[Ike Barinholtz]

And then two minutes later she had gone to bed and I look and it's Dave Franco's bare butt pumping away, just pumping. And I was just like, oh, right.

[Dax Shepard]

I did that two weekends ago in a hotel with Delta and Sarah Marshall was on okay. And I'm like, oh, this could be fun. This is mom in a balls of the wall comedy.

[Ike Barinholtz]

One of the funniest movies ever made.

[Monica Padman]

I agree.

[Dax Shepard]

And I don't think of all the things they've seen her in. They haven't seen her in a fucking hard hitting comedy. And same thing, it starts and all of a sudden Jason's dick is out and the towel's up. And then I'm even telling myself, like, we're not hung up on nudity in my family. So that's whatever. And then as it goes on, I'm like, no, I don't think this is the right film for us.

[Ike Barinholtz]

Yeah, I wish we weren't hung up about nudity. But my 11 year old who's like going on 15, she'll come into my bathroom when I am coming out of my shower and will look at me and go, ugh. And I'm like, what are we doing? Why are you doing this? This is.

[Dax Shepard]

I don't go to your bathroom and evaluate your body.

[Ike Barinholtz]

Yeah, what the hell? Like, it's very pointed and just like, ugh.

[Monica Padman]

She's disgusted.

[Ike Barinholtz]

Disgusted, I get it. But I'm like, just please internalize that.

[Dax Shepard]

Do you know what our older daughter asked Kristen at one point? She said, why do you and daddy's birds. It's Universal. In my house, it can be male or female. Why do you and Daddy's birds look so old?

[Ike Barinholtz]

Oh, that's a tough one. You're like, I don't know. You Googled dicoplasty.

[Monica Padman]

Yeah, exactly.

[Ike Barinholtz]

Dick lift, Los Angeles.

[Dax Shepard]

I luckily was not a part of the conversation. We're like, the testicles.

[Ike Barinholtz]

I can tell you now, it's the testicles. Yeah, I guess I didn't. Those things do not age well. They're the opposite of idiocracy. They just get bigger and longer, stretchier. Oh, God.

[Dax Shepard]

So you're losing plasticity, but you're also gaining it there.

[Ike Barinholtz]

Oh, the worst.

[Monica Padman]

What age do you think you have to stop being naked around your kids?

[Ike Barinholtz]

It was never a thing. I was like, obviously, it's probably a little different when it's intersex, so probably like when they become teenagers, when they start going through puberty. But the minute I get roasted right now you're insecure.

[Dax Shepard]

Yeah. You cover for yourself.

[Ike Barinholtz]

So now I get out of the shower quickly, peek around. We're past the point now.

[Dax Shepard]

My policy is they'll decide that because in Europe, they don't give a.

[Ike Barinholtz]

They're nude. They go to dinner nude.

[Dax Shepard]

I'm aiming for that.

[Ike Barinholtz]

You know, in Europe, they don't start dinner nude until 10pm sometimes.

[Dax Shepard]

Like, dinner nude.

[Ike Barinholtz]

I will say every once in a while, you'll shower with one of the kids, you know, like in a hotel. Well, now we're underwear. Because for the little one especially, she's at, like, dick height. And, like, I don't need to be, like, washing her hair and her to be, like. You know what I mean?

[Dax Shepard]

Staring at an elephant.

[Ike Barinholtz]

Forget it. So that I wear underwear for. Which is. I think I would recommend.

[Dax Shepard]

That feels more perverted for you to wear underwear. If I walk and I saw a man and his daughter and he was wearing tighty white, I'm like, what's happening? Do you need protection?

[Ike Barinholtz]

You look like a David Cross. Arrested Development. Yeah, I'm a never nude.

[Dax Shepard]

You're probably sick of talking about this, but it is still so exciting. And it's his fault because he keeps popping up. But your dad, Allen.

[Ike Barinholtz]

Oh, my God.

[Dax Shepard]

We've been along for this whole ride because we were big Jury Duty fans.

[Ike Barinholtz]

Oh, it was so good.

[Dax Shepard]

And he was phenomenal. And then I see him immediately in Running Point.

[Ike Barinholtz]

Running Point?

[Monica Padman]

Yes.

[Ike Barinholtz]

He plays a family lawyer. Kiss. This is Kate Hudson.

[Dax Shepard]

No.

[Ike Barinholtz]

Oh, good for him. We wrote the character to be a vuncular older man who's very touchy and stuff. And so we were shooting it, and he's kind of kissing theroux, and Scotty McGarthur is kissing him on the forehead. And Kate Hudson, who's so game for any comedy thing, she's like, hey, on this next take, he should probably kiss me on the lips. So I go to my dad, I go, you gotta kiss Kate on the lips, because I cannot do that.

[Dax Shepard]

He said, he killed him.

[Ike Barinholtz]

That would be inappropriate. And I go, no, it's her idea. He goes, oh. So now in the show, there's like a big, fat smooch on the lips, and he tells everyone. He's like, yeah, Kate Hudson's a star. And I'm like, good for him. Take it easy.

[Dax Shepard]

He's 70, 72.

[Ike Barinholtz]

He's living his best life right now. He's in the studio too.

[Dax Shepard]

I saw him in the studio.

[Ike Barinholtz]

He is a working actor now.

[Monica Padman]

It's crazy. He's the opposite of a Nepo baby.

[Ike Barinholtz]

He's a Nepo dad.

[Monica Padman]

He's a Nepo dad.

[Ike Barinholtz]

Something you can really get behind.

[Monica Padman]

Yeah, I like that.

[Dax Shepard]

And you said you were striking and you brought him along.

[Ike Barinholtz]

It was crazy. I brought him to the picket line one day, and he sees Titus Welliver right now. Bosch to fathers, it's Joseph Smith. To a Mormon, it's everything. So he's a super tough cop who's a little bit woke, but also likes jazz, just like me. He calls people slurs, but he's on the right side of justice. I love him.

[Dax Shepard]

He's helping them and insulting them.

[Ike Barinholtz]

Yeah. So we see Bosh, and my dad is just, like, losing his mind. And then Bosch learns who he is, and Bosch is like, oh, they talked. They were so excited.

[Dax Shepard]

What was better for him, Getting approached by Bosch or kissing Kate Hudson?

[Ike Barinholtz]

That's a real.

[Dax Shepard]

We might need to call him, I think.

[Ike Barinholtz]

Honestly, Bosch kissing Kate, I don't think he had any illusion that she was gonna dump Danny and they were gonna end up together. And then he could really get to Goldie. As I say it, that is a plan, though.

[Dax Shepard]

Do you think, though, in his mind, he was like, peggy might let me.

[Ike Barinholtz]

Maybe in his mind, he's like, well, my wife, I don't know if she understands the concept of a hall pass, but if I were to explain it to her and Kate Hudson was on board. Yeah. This could.

[Dax Shepard]

She would want this for me.

[Ike Barinholtz]

She would be happy for me. I do think that in his mind, there's definitely a kernel of like, what if me and Bosch become friends? What if I'm on The show, you know what I mean?

[Dax Shepard]

Is it still running?

[Ike Barinholtz]

Bosch? Oh, yeah, they got Bosch Legacy out now. Dude, they will always be here. There'll be spin offs and stuff. As long as there's crime in la, Bosch is here to clean it up.

[Dax Shepard]

I have a bone to pick with you.

[Ike Barinholtz]

Oh, no.

[Dax Shepard]

Which is simply, I begged you to do a podcast with us.

[Ike Barinholtz]

Oh, my God.

[Dax Shepard]

And you didn't.

[Ike Barinholtz]

I only think about it every day. Okay.

[Dax Shepard]

And then lo and behold, Polar's here to promote her podcast. And I come to find out you definitely said yes to her when she had an idea.

[Ike Barinholtz]

I did.

[Dax Shepard]

Chris Chapman, do over.

[Ike Barinholtz]

Chris Chapman, do over. Here's what happened when you came to me years ago and you're like, you should do a podcast. It would be really fun. And I was like, I'm too busy doing. And now I'm like, oh, my God, you could have had a podcast. I can't start one now. 2025. But Polar came to me and she had such a funny idea. First of all, she can't say no to her.

[Dax Shepard]

I love her.

[Ike Barinholtz]

And her take on it was great though. She basically was like, I want to figure out a way for us to improvise without having to go on stage at 8:30 at night and have people filming it, putting it online. What's the way for us just to riff? Because that is something that I miss. Even though improv is coming back, there's a lot of good improv in LA right now. Live improv at Largo. Dinosaur Improv with Paul Scheer, the Last Improv show. So we came up with this idea to do like a take on a podcast that would exist in the manosphere. A little bit inspired by lots of.

[Dax Shepard]

Different people, as you say, repeating conspiracy theories, having medical advice.

[Ike Barinholtz]

Yeah. A lot of talking about clips of things that you watched online. It really is inspired by lots of different people. So we came up with a crew and we spent this incredible two weeks where we taped like eight episodes of this fake podcast. That is so much fun. It is so funny. The company, I don't know if I should say this because they were so wonderful who made it, but the week mine came out, they were like, we're going out of business. We never really got a chance to do like a big promotion, but it's still out there. Just to get to be very confidently wrong is a very fun energy to Play. Like Catherine O'Hara one time said, play confident and stupid, and it is the magic sauce. So getting to do that. And again, we also have had Neil Casey, who's one of the funniest guys, and Lisa Gilroy, she's an improviser and an actor, and she is so hardcore funny. One of the best improvisers I've ever seen in my life.

[Monica Padman]

Oh, my God.

[Ike Barinholtz]

Basically, the premise of the podcast was I got canceled, the podcast went away, and a new company said they will do my podcast if half of 1% of my listeners can be women.

[Monica Padman]

Half of 1%.

[Ike Barinholtz]

So I'm like, okay, so this is my new co host, and he's so funny. So such a fun thing. And to get to do it with Polar and sit in the studio with Polar and our friend Liz Kakowski, who's one of the great geniuses, it was one of the most fun things I did that year.

[Dax Shepard]

Yeah.

[Monica Padman]

Oh, fun. Go check that out.

[Ike Barinholtz]

Chris Chapman, do over.

[Dax Shepard]

Okay, one last thing. And then into both shows. I don't know why I want to bring this up, but we had Bobby Leon. I mean, other than maybe you, I've not had that much fun talking to somebody in front of a microphone. How special is Bobby Lee?

[Ike Barinholtz]

I did his podcast. It was the old tiger belly, like, a year and a half ago. And it was, like, the most fun I had in such a long time. He's so wonderful. And now that he's older and he's just very settled now, in a weird way, he was so chaotic for so long. He's always been one of the funniest guys, but whenever you'd see him, he would be a little stressed out. And now he's so happy. He's very successful. Yep. And he is just one of the best and funniest. When I was on his podcast, he really just spent the first half hour just apologizing for stuff that he did at MADtv. And it was just sort of night stepping. You.

[Dax Shepard]

Oh.

[Ike Barinholtz]

It was just like, I'm really sorry that one time you were writing a sketch and I came in and pulled down my pants and spread my ass and I jumped pummeled in my ass. And I was like, it's okay. I wasn't offended.

[Dax Shepard]

He has this weird way of, in his apology, retraumatizing you and making maybe the apology is worse.

[Ike Barinholtz]

Like a whole new audience who never even thought of that happening before.

[Dax Shepard]

Yeah. He tells a story about being molested. I don't know.

[Ike Barinholtz]

I know the story very well.

[Dax Shepard]

It's like, yeah, all things are happening at once. It's so unique.

[Ike Barinholtz]

Yeah, he's wonderful. I'm actually doing his podcast. Him and Santino, Chicago Sicily he immigrated here from Sicily three years ago.

[Dax Shepard]

One of the only redheaded.

[Ike Barinholtz]

He is Chicago.

[Dax Shepard]

Okay, so Running Point.

[Ike Barinholtz]

Running Point.

[Dax Shepard]

You're a creator.

[Monica Padman]

Yes.

[Dax Shepard]

See, what's really funny is I was looking at your Instagram and you had a photo dump from Running Point in that Justin is wearing that shirt, he's wearing the gear. And you know, I'm so stupid. This is how fucking powerful Thoreau is. I'm looking at that exact shirt you're wearing. I forget that the name of the team is the Waves, even though I've seen the show and I go, man, look, he did it again. He's got this shirt on that says Waves. What? Rummage sale. Did he find that in a New Jersey?

[Monica Padman]

It was like vintage.

[Ike Barinholtz]

Yeah. Everything he wears is so cool. And vintage is the best dressed man.

[Dax Shepard]

I've ever seen him just oozing cool.

[Ike Barinholtz]

If I were to dress like him, people would be like, sir, you need to leave.

[Dax Shepard]

I gave it a shot. I was like, I think I can pull it off, cuz I ride motorcycles. And I was like, you're not pulling this.

[Ike Barinholtz]

You're not pulling it off. No.

[Dax Shepard]

He's one of a kind.

[Ike Barinholtz]

Yeah, he looks like a European dude who's by himself on a motorcycle. And you look like a guy who's trying to get into the hell.

[Dax Shepard]

And he's written four or five really substantial poetry books that are good.

[Ike Barinholtz]

That's good poetry. That's good. Yeah. He smokes Galois.

[Dax Shepard]

You smoke like Winston's, but you created.

[Ike Barinholtz]

That with my friend Mindy Kaling. You ever heard of her? And Dave Dassen, who was our showrunner. And Mindy approached us and she was like, I have an idea for a show that's loosely based off of Jeannie Buss.

[Dax Shepard]

And had you met Jeannie before?

[Ike Barinholtz]

I actually, strangely had. My lawyer is friendly with her and took me to a game once. Introduced me a. She's so cool and just lovely and nice. Growing up in Chicago, big Bulls fan. Like Bul. But there was something as a kid, I loved Magic Johnson. I just thought he was so fun and cool. You probably loved him from Michigan.

[Dax Shepard]

He and Isaiah kissed each other, if you remember, mid court once.

[Ike Barinholtz]

Right? Which was the worst thing ever, which is like 87.

[Dax Shepard]

That was the first time I had seen two men kissed Monica.

[Ike Barinholtz]

This is Michigan in the 80s. This is a very different time.

[Dax Shepard]

It was so different than I remember when Travolta would go on talk shows, he would hug the host. I'd never seen men hug men.

[Ike Barinholtz]

In our lifetime. We've watched hugging Become a thing. Like, it was truly, truly not a thing until Travolta. Bill Clinton signed the 1995 National Hugs Act. It was just he would shake a hand, or even back in the day, they'd be like, how are you?

[Dax Shepard]

And you try to hurt the other guy's hand.

[Ike Barinholtz]

Raise the hand as hard as you can.

[Dax Shepard]

Test of your masculinity.

[Ike Barinholtz]

John Williamson. My father created a pool supply company.

[Dax Shepard]

You pump it might grab the elbow if you're really confident.

[Ike Barinholtz]

And then the big smack on the.

[Dax Shepard]

Shoulder, try to put him on the ground.

[Monica Padman]

The irony that it literally almost full circles into gay. Oh, it is like, it starts off so masculine, and then you're like jerking.

[Ike Barinholtz]

Each other, hugging each is a still new thing.

[Dax Shepard]

You might remember this rumor when we were kids that the Boss kissed his saxophone player. This was like this huge rumor.

[Ike Barinholtz]

Do you remember Bruce Springsteen kissed Clarence Clemens?

[Monica Padman]

Yeah.

[Ike Barinholtz]

Great.

[Dax Shepard]

You know everyone's name. Was that like a thing that hit Chicago?

[Ike Barinholtz]

No, never got that.

[Dax Shepard]

Oh, I did. People were like, you know, Bruce Frankston kissed his saxophone player.

[Ike Barinholtz]

Oh, my God, I love urban rumors. I remember in high school. Oh, yeah. Marilyn Manson removed his ribs so he could suck his own dick. That was a big one. Which is actually, actually true. I found out. Yeah, I found that out this morning. It was in the paper. Fact of a day. I get a little email.

[Dax Shepard]

You know, I partied with him one time back when I used to do coke.

[Ike Barinholtz]

Yeah, I could imagine that would be a prerequisite for hanging out with him.

[Dax Shepard]

It was pre any domestic abuse situation with women. So I had no ethical dilemma whatsoever. It was still in that phase where he had been in bullying for Columbine. And you were like, oh, he's really smart.

[Ike Barinholtz]

His music's actually good.

[Dax Shepard]

I never went all the way there, but I was like, let's kind of intriguing.

[Ike Barinholtz]

Yeah. No, he was like an interesting guy. Yeah.

[Dax Shepard]

And he had a ton of toot, and I was down to hang. I don't know if I told you.

[Ike Barinholtz]

This story once, but I used to be a busboy at Arnie Morton's on La Cienega. Morton's Steakhouse.

[Dax Shepard]

Oh, I love Morton's. Still my place.

[Ike Barinholtz]

I love it. So this is like 2001. And before I went to work, I was at home and there was a show on IFC that you might remember called Dinner for Five.

[Monica Padman]

Oh, loved it.

[Ike Barinholtz]

Loved Dinner for Five. And so I was watching it, Jon Favreau was the host. And I can't quite remember, there were two other people, and then Marilyn Manson and then There was an empty chair. So I remember going to work that night, busting a table, and Marilyn Manson walks in. It's a big guy. And he comes in and he sits down, and he's with some slave or whatever the fuck, and he sits down. And I was like, I gotta ask him, who did not show up. Oh, great, great. So I'm kind of just waiting for the right moment, and I start busting the table next to him. And I just kind of turn and I go to him, hey, excuse me. I hate to bother you. Who didn't show up for dinner for five? And literally, as I turn to him, he's just put, like, a relatively large pack piece of steak in his mouth.

[Dax Shepard]

Oh, it's giving me, like, a minute of chewing, bro.

[Ike Barinholtz]

It was like a solid 30 seconds of him being kind of annoyed and holding up his finger and being like. And I'm waiting for it, and I'm waiting for it. And it feels like an eternity. And finally he goes, michael Rapaport. That has done enough in movies.

[Dax Shepard]

I feel like we need more of those. That has happened to me numerous times. Just took a way too big bite of a ribeye, and I'm going to need a minute and a half to get through it.

[Ike Barinholtz]

I need a little bit more, actually, because I got to clean some stuff out of my teeth before I talk to you. At this point, she doesn't have a cowler.

[Dax Shepard]

But back to running point. You're a writer, creator. You're on set for the whole time.

[Ike Barinholtz]

Yeah. So Mindy approached Dave and I, and she's like, I have this idea for a show. We love her so much, and the Mindy project was the best gig ever. It was the most fun. Me and her and Dave, our sensibilities just really line up.

[Dax Shepard]

Yeah, that's a great feeling.

[Ike Barinholtz]

So we spent months with her eating gigantic sandwiches every day and just kind of breaking the show, writing the show. And so then we are like, who's gonna play this part? One of those shows where it's so all about the. And we had on our wish list. Obviously, it would be great if we can get someone like Kate Hudson to do this. That's impossible. She's Kate Hudson. And so sure enough, we got a call. Her agent's like, I read this. I love it. She's going to read it. And then she read it, and she loved it.

[Dax Shepard]

That never happens with a trip.

[Ike Barinholtz]

What always happens is you find out she's going to do it, and then the last minute, it just doesn't work or she Got another movie or something. But she really stuck to her guns. I think she really saw the vision. And so then we were able to get this insane guest cast around her. It's a sibling workplace comedy. And so we were able to get Drew Tarver, who I love obsessed with.

[Dax Shepard]

He's pretty shockingly funny. He was also on a show with Caitlyn. That's where I first saw him. Caitlyn Olsen.

[Ike Barinholtz]

He's got the Baitman thing when he's dialed in, where even when he says a line that's not even remotely funny, he still makes it funny. That means you'll work forever.

[Monica Padman]

He was at UCB during my time, so I saw him on stage all the time.

[Dax Shepard]

Yeah, his essence is perpetually hungover, which is the best kind of vibe you could have.

[Ike Barinholtz]

That. I mean, that's like a Bill Murray thing when you talk about it. Like, what? What do you want? And in real life, delightful, wonderful man. Scott McArthur is a guy who we had known for a very, very long time. He grew up with him in Chicago 40 years. Like, literally 40 years. We knew him when he was 4 years old. Remember when he was born? And then we had the part of the other brother. First we had Brenda Song, who is amazing, walking around in public with her. The only other person I've seen that gets that kind of smoke is John Cena. People when they see Brenda Song lose their minds, it's wild. But then the older brother part was the last big piece and it was a really funny part and we needed to kill her. And we got throw, which was just wild because he is low key. I think one of the best actors out there.

[Dax Shepard]

Oh, totally.

[Ike Barinholtz]

To have him come and do a big dumb comedy.

[Dax Shepard]

You guys were both on Plumbers.

[Ike Barinholtz]

White House Plumbers.

[Dax Shepard]

Yeah, that show. I don't know why that one went under the radar. Kristen and I watched it a year and a half after it came out, and I was like, this show's a 10.

[Ike Barinholtz]

How funny was he on that show?

[Dax Shepard]

Oh, my God, that performer.

[Ike Barinholtz]

He was playing G. Gordon Liddy and he's talking like this the entire time. But it's so believable. Woody with those big stupid teeters. But it was such a great show. I also think too is right when Max no one understood what, breaking off a little bit.

[Dax Shepard]

You couldn't sign in for a couple months.

[Ike Barinholtz]

Yeah, you're clicking forget password, but it's to your old email that you don't have access to anymore. But it was a great show.

[Dax Shepard]

We're only going to do so much about the studio because we had Seth in, and it's probably the most we've ever talked about someone's project on the show. Because I genuinely, from the bottom of my heart, blown away.

[Ike Barinholtz]

You sent me the nicest text, man.

[Dax Shepard]

Oh, yeah. I was in the middle of watching that.

[Ike Barinholtz]

Yeah, it was nice because you don't know you work on something and you love it, but when people, you know, reach out, it really is a very, very lovely thing.

[Dax Shepard]

Oh, my God, I loved it. I watched all 10.

[Ike Barinholtz]

Every day you'd show up and there'd be a new person like Martin Scorsese. I had to act with him for hours and hours in 1ers, so the.

[Dax Shepard]

Stress levels only compounded after every take.

[Ike Barinholtz]

I kind of stand there with him because he's one of those people that everyone's like, don't bother, but I'm standing with him. So I would just kind of talk a little bit and then try to get out so I'm not talking too long. But he's one of those guys where he is as advertised, where everything you say to him, he's going to say in the most Martin Scorsese way. Like, I'd say to him, how do you like how we're shooting? He goes, oh, it's great. It's French New Wave. You know, Godard created that because he only had one camera, so that's what the French New Wave was. And you're like, that's so fucking cool. He said that.

[Dax Shepard]

And do you feel, like, emboldened? He's open the door.

[Ike Barinholtz]

Yes. So now I'm like, being a psychopath who knows everything about me. Breaking bull.

[Dax Shepard]

Or you just pull out a list.

[Ike Barinholtz]

Well, I go, your favorite French new wave is 400 blows, right? Oh. He goes, well, it changes. It changes all the time. I think right now it's Jules at gym. You know, the first time I saw Jules at gym, I rem sitting there thinking, if only I can make a movie. The whole movie was the first 20 minutes of this movie. And that's good, fellas. And I'm like, oh. But meanwhile, just gross. I'm just shooting rocks in my head.

[Dax Shepard]

Great, Great.

[Ike Barinholtz]

Oh, my God. Now I'd be like, bye. Because I don't want to wear out my welcomes. I'd be like, I gotta go. I'll be right back. And then I'm just standing, like, five feet away. It was crazy.

[Dax Shepard]

Wow.

[Ike Barinholtz]

The whole series, every scene is shot in one take. So it's not like a conventional show where we have our coverage.

[Dax Shepard]

How did it affect your comfort in improving?

[Ike Barinholtz]

You don't want to be the person who ups and then has the giant reset. And that definitely happened a few times. Great thing about Seth though, I don't know if it's like cuz he's Canadian or the weed. He's the most easygoing guy when it comes to that. Even if inside he's pissed.

[Dax Shepard]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Ike Barinholtz]

You will never see that because like if someone would up, he just right goes, oh, all right, we go. There was one day where we are driving. Sunset Boulevard is locked off at 6pm oh, so we can drive a 1958 Maserati and do a whip U turn and pull up into the chateau and the car just won't start. It's just getting flooded out every time.

[Dax Shepard]

And he's got to snake up that tight driveway.

[Ike Barinholtz]

Bro, it is so high stakes. If it were me a, I would just be like, I can't do this. Obviously we'll get a stunt driver. I'll be in the chateau, we'll do.

[Dax Shepard]

A cowboy switch, I'll be on the cowboy switch.

[Ike Barinholtz]

And then if not, just use AI whatever the fuck that means. And the car's just flooding. The second time it floods, I'd be like, all right, I want to have a little meeting with everyone. This can't flood again or otherwise. I don't want to be hyperbolic, but I'm going to kill myself. And every time it would flood, Seth would just go, oh boy, this thing doesn't work. What are we going to do? And it was just like smoke, but good natured. So I was scared. But again, the knowledge of knowing that even if you fuck up, they're not going to yell at you. In terms of the improv, it was interesting because I've worked with them a lot. They're very improv welcoming directors. They really love to hear what you have. As long as it's in character and on story. Yeah, every line is not advancing the story. I can assure you, no matter how much the boom hopper, it's not going to be in the. So they are very welcoming of it. But some scenes we would rehearse for hours and hours before we even started rolling. So that was kind of the time. Once you're in it, it's like a play. You throw in a new line and that affects someone's cue. You're going to feel like a dick.

[Monica Padman]

Yes.

[Dax Shepard]

Because the choreography that's happening for these shots, which people might not realize is there's like seven assistant directors with earpieces on cueing. Guy with the tray to walk through, cueing the light cue. If you up one cue, it's domino.

[Ike Barinholtz]

A huge thing. And our DP Adam is just so active and running around. They built equipment that had never been used before for this. So the cranes flying in. If I ruin one of those takes. Cause I'm like, oh, yeah, what are you hawk to a girl? Like, I try to, like, cram in, like, a reference. People are gonna be like, fuck you.

[Monica Padman]

Yeah, it's kind of good. It's like, humbling in some ways for.

[Ike Barinholtz]

Actors, it is, to quote Alan Partridge, surprise me in rehearsal.

[Dax Shepard]

Ah, that's nice.

[Ike Barinholtz]

It wasn't like a big improv bonanza, which I think was very good for this show. But they still let us kind of flex a little. But it was a lot of the fun, too, was working with directors like Ron Howard. Yeah. Like, as an actor, you know Ron very well, and I have met him once before. But when you're sitting in, like, a sprinter van with Ron Howard and he's looking at his lines. Yeah. At one point I said to him, we were shooting on Warner Brothers, and I was like, have you ever shot here as an actor? He goes, yeah, I shot the Music man here.

[Dax Shepard]

Oh, right.

[Ike Barinholtz]

He was the boy and the Music Man. Crazy. It's crazy. But.

[Dax Shepard]

But that part, I would imagine, is fun because once Ron Howard has sides, everything's neutralized. He's as nervous about remembering his lines as anyone else. Like, status is evaporating. Yes. You didn't have anything with Ice Cube. I'm now remembering. Did you?

[Ike Barinholtz]

I shot with him the day after he came out on the Dodgers center field and sang for the World Series. It was really cool. Years ago together, we did James Corden's show. And, you know, you do it together.

[Dax Shepard]

For better or worse.

[Ike Barinholtz]

For better or worse. It has been worse for me.

[Dax Shepard]

Yes.

[Ike Barinholtz]

I walked out with Cube. I was very nervous to meet Cube.

[Dax Shepard]

He's an intimidating guy.

[Ike Barinholtz]

Intimidating guy. And also, I was obsessed with nwa. I was obsessed with Boys in the Hood. Friday is one of my all time favorite movies. The Predator is one of my all time favorite albums. Three Kings is one of my all time favorite movies.

[Dax Shepard]

Death certificate.

[Ike Barinholtz]

Death certificate. Trespass. I saw Trespass in the theaters. I walked up to him and he was just like, oh, what's up, man? I seen you being funny. And I was like, yeah, thank God.

[Monica Padman]

That's really good.

[Dax Shepard]

I'm gonna go fuck off now.

[Ike Barinholtz]

Luckily, I think he thought. Thought I was Donnie Wahlberg.

[Dax Shepard]

Okay, great. I'll take it if he thought I was Zach Braff. I can talk about scrubs.

[Ike Barinholtz]

Oh, yeah. Donald's a good friend. Yeah.

[Dax Shepard]

Lawrence is incredible.

[Ike Barinholtz]

I've never worked for anything better. If you come up to me, there is a movie called Rat Race. Remember Rat Race?

[Dax Shepard]

Yes. Seth Green was in it.

[Ike Barinholtz]

Seth Green. There was a guy in that movie. I'm blanking on his name.

[Monica Padman]

Who?

[Ike Barinholtz]

We kind of look alike. The guy pierces his tongue and songs like this.

[Dax Shepard]

Akin to your LNX Studies character.

[Ike Barinholtz]

Actually, if you look at the Data, probably fast 5,000 times, people have come up to me and been like, yo man, love Rat Race. At first I was like, that's not me. But now I go, thank you. Yes, that's the right thing to do.

[Dax Shepard]

Same. I get Garden State compliments and I'm flattered to be associated with the film.

[Ike Barinholtz]

Yeah, I love the shins, man.

[Dax Shepard]

Stay tuned for more Armchair Expert if you dare. This message is brought to you you by Apple Card. Apple Card is everything a credit card should be. It's easy to manage, built to be secure, and gives users up to 3% daily cash back on every purchase. The best part about Apple Card is applying is quick and easy. Apply in the Wallet app on iPhone and see your credit limit offer in minutes. Subject to credit approval. Apple Card by Goldman Sachs Bank USA Salt Lake City Branch Member FDIC terms and more@apple card.com we are supported by Squarespace. Ready to share your great idea with the world. Get your message out there with an amazing website designed with Squarespace. Squarespace is where we designed our website.

[Monica Padman]

That's right, and our merch site which is back up and running it has new cute merch.

[Dax Shepard]

So functional, so beautiful, so easy. Whether you're a photographer, small business owner or have a passion project, having a professional website isn't just nice to have in anymore, it's essential. And Squarespace makes it ridiculously easy. Their drag and drop templates are gorgeous right out of the box and you don't need to know a single line of code. Plus, every site comes with built in SEO tools, analytics and even e commerce features. If you want to sell products you can get up and running in just a day. So why not make that day today? Head to squarespace.com for a free trial and when you're ready to get started, go to squarespace.com.com Dax to save 10% off your first purchase of a website or domain. That's squarespace.com Dax to get started today we are supported by Neutral Hair thinning is a very common, very frustrating problem that many men and women deal with Nutrafol is here to help. Nutrafol is the number one dermatologist recommended hair growth supplement brand trusted by over one and a half million people. See thicker, stronger, faster growing hair with less shedding in just three to with Neutrfol. Thinning hair is different for men and women. So a one size fits all approach to hair growth doesn't cut it. Neutral has multiple formulas that are tailored to different life stages and lifestyle factors so you can get just what you need.

[Monica Padman]

I like that it's very specific like that tailored.

[Dax Shepard]

Start your hair growth journey with Neutra Fall. For a limited time, Neutr fall is offering armchair's $10 off your first month subscription and free shipping. When you go to Nutrafol.com and enter the promo promo code DAX find out why over 7, 500 healthcare professionals and stylists recommend neutral for healthier hair. Nutrafol.com spelled n u t r a f o l.com promo code DAX that's Nutrafol.com promo code DAX now here's one bit of how the sausage was made that I'm curious about is there's this incredible episode, episode called the war. And you and Chase go to war.

[Ike Barinholtz]

How great is she, by the way?

[Dax Shepard]

She's incredible.

[Ike Barinholtz]

Incredible.

[Dax Shepard]

She's a ce. A creative executive. So she's under you on this totem pole.

[Ike Barinholtz]

We have this rivalry a little bit.

[Dax Shepard]

You have a rivalry. You're fucking each other over on the director you want for a project and it's escalating, escalating. And then it gets physical. Now here's what I'm curious in the one, I'd be afraid. I'd want to push and get crazy and then I'd be afraid if it was too much because at the end of the day, you're an enormous man and she's a young woman. Yeah. Does any of that stuff circle? I was like, oh, man. They found the line just perfectly. It went as crazy as it could get, but it didn't get scary.

[Ike Barinholtz]

At one point, myself was like, I'm yelling at her and she's such a good actor. And she's crying and I'm like, I'm going to look like a dick. But I think it's okay. He's supposed to be a dick. I usually play bubbly and fun and comedy. Stupid. My pants just fell down. Oops, I farted. Yeah. To be really like, I will fucking end your career. Yes, you stupid little idiot. And you see in her eyes the hurt you do feel like a shithead.

[Monica Padman]

But it's real.

[Ike Barinholtz]

But it's real and it's good. And they want that.

[Dax Shepard]

I mean, your character, Sal Seperstein, he drives a yellow 911 convertible.

[Ike Barinholtz]

Yes. He is a problematic guy, I would say.

[Dax Shepard]

He's snorting coke. We were watching the first episode with my daughter. No, he was a Khaleesi. It was an even younger viewer. We had. We had a seven year old and she's like, what did he just do? And I'm like, he did a drug, cocaine. And she was really trying to figure out, did you pass Pounded into your hand.

[Ike Barinholtz]

The first time we did it, they had the real fake cocaine, which is, I think, baby laxative. They say it's all safe. So I was snorting it after, like three hours. I was like, I have a shitty headache now. Sucks your sinuses. So then the next time they were doing it, Andy, our prop guy's like, hey, do you want the real stuff or do you want to do vfx?

[Dax Shepard]

Oh, my God. That was an option.

[Ike Barinholtz]

Yeah. It's the same thing of like, wait, you offer laughing gas?

[Dax Shepard]

Yeah, Obviously I got told.

[Ike Barinholtz]

So then there was a lot of vfx. But I think when we were doing some of the Vegas stuff, it was so crazy for the finales that I'm sure there was real powder flying around. Not real cocaine, but real fake powder. But it brought me back. Put it this way, I definitely had the same reflexive diarrhea. Absolutely.

[Dax Shepard]

I remember when, if I would do a big line and then I'd be like, oh, my God, I could go. I was so thrilled. I'm like, here we go.

[Ike Barinholtz]

Oh, yeah. And then like 13 minutes later, why did I do this? Five hours later, you're like, I'm so glad. I. Then 24 years later, like, I need to change my life.

[Monica Padman]

Ew. Do the bathrooms at clubs just stink?

[Ike Barinholtz]

They are so gross. So many substances just being excreted.

[Monica Padman]

Lots. Diarrhea.

[Ike Barinholtz]

A lot of diarrhea. Hard drugs. Especially back in the day.

[Dax Shepard]

Yeah, I used to do ecstasy all the time. Half the time it was half heroin. Half the time it was half mask. You didn't know.

[Ike Barinholtz]

You didn't know what it was, but you knew that whatever you ate was going to come out.

[Dax Shepard]

I just knew I was going to be horny no matter. Matter what. For sure.

[Ike Barinholtz]

Oh, my God.

[Dax Shepard]

Made their way into that.

[Ike Barinholtz]

I know there were some people that were like, yeah, I don't have any sexuality on drugs. And I'm like, come here, my male friend. I'm going to suck your tits. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Dax Shepard]

I'm going massage your hand until I'm a wreck.

[Ike Barinholtz]

God damn it. Not anymore. You and I knew each other in 2000, we would not be alive.

[Dax Shepard]

That's possible.

[Ike Barinholtz]

One of us would be married.

[Dax Shepard]

Don't rule out no guys.

[Ike Barinholtz]

I can't. I'm going over there. Dax Shepard. You know, the guy from punk.

[Dax Shepard]

Yeah, I got a big.

[Ike Barinholtz]

Wrestling a lot. No, no, we're not hooking up. And then years later, you're like, yeah, we just adopted another kid.

[Dax Shepard]

Yeah. Never been happier. Mike, I do adore you. This is number three. I hope there's like, three guys.

[Ike Barinholtz]

Who else is in the three club?

[Monica Padman]

David Sedaris. I think we have five.

[Ike Barinholtz]

Okay. I guess got to go write a bunch of great books.

[Dax Shepard]

Possibly good books that I write.

[Monica Padman]

We had in that.

[Dax Shepard]

I feel like Malcolm's.

[Monica Padman]

Malcolm Gladwell is up there.

[Ike Barinholtz]

I'm the same as him. Okay. Sleep with her.

[Dax Shepard]

Seth Rogen did three.

[Ike Barinholtz]

Oh, you're tied with Robeski. Boom. Gotcha.

[Monica Padman]

But you've done a live show for us that gives you an X.

[Ike Barinholtz]

Hey, can we just talk about that live show that was one of the most fun live nights of my life?

[Dax Shepard]

I'm so glad to hear you say that because I went and listened to it back before today and I was shook. I urge everyone to go listen to that. It shouldn't be as good as it is. You were so on fire.

[Monica Padman]

Home run.

[Ike Barinholtz]

So much fun. The armchair audience is the greatest fucking audience.

[Dax Shepard]

Truly. There's nothing.

[Ike Barinholtz]

There's nothing better than them. And they came to that show. They were so tuned up. I remember before you guys brought me out, just like you guys. There's so much love there for you guys and what they do.

[Dax Shepard]

Fan base.

[Ike Barinholtz]

I'm so lucky because I've touched into a lot of different fan bases. And they're all so nice.

[Dax Shepard]

Positive, intelligent.

[Ike Barinholtz]

Yes.

[Dax Shepard]

But can get dark humor.

[Ike Barinholtz]

Yes. Like dirty jokes. I'm not offended by fucking and everything.

[Dax Shepard]

Who like dirty jokes. Impossibly good group. So that was a party. People should really listen to that one. It's so funny you talking about fucking through the sheet. And you did Obama.

[Ike Barinholtz]

Obama fucking Michelle.

[Dax Shepard]

I remember.

[Ike Barinholtz]

I remember that one Secret Service called after that. I don't even know if the sheet thing's real.

[Dax Shepard]

It's not real. I think that whole thing was started from a Seinfeld episode.

[Ike Barinholtz]

I think there's a lot of things that. Like B stories in sitcoms. And now people are like, yeah, no, that's true.

[Monica Padman]

I'm sure we did it on the fact check back then and we will have to do it again.

[Ike Barinholtz]

We have to now talk about it.

[Dax Shepard]

It'll be apologies to all of our Jewish friends. All right, Ike, I adore you. Thanks for coming, everybody. Watch both Running Point, which is on now on Netflix.

[Ike Barinholtz]

Go Waves.

[Dax Shepard]

And then the studio, which is March 26th on Apple Plus.

[Ike Barinholtz]

Apple Plus Go Studio.

[Dax Shepard]

Well, you've got your dong in both.

[Monica Padman]

Of the big streamers, don't you? Oh, my God.

[Ike Barinholtz]

I got a real garbage dick when it comes to working with people with.

[Dax Shepard]

The good with the powerhouse streamers.

[Ike Barinholtz]

I'm setting up a deal this year where I fuck Amazon. Get some of those pesos.

[Monica Padman]

Look at that. La la la la la. Look at that. I was maybe gonna cut it now. I can't.

[Dax Shepard]

She was sharpening her scissors as I brought up Jeff Pesos.

[Ike Barinholtz]

I love you guys so much. Thank you guys for having me.

[Dax Shepard]

I love you, Measle Tough. I sure hope there weren't any mistakes in that episode, but we'll find out when my mom, Mrs. Monica, comes in and tells us what was wrong. Ike Barinholz.

[Monica Padman]

Got him. Got him.

[Dax Shepard]

Got him up while I was with Joe Gillette.

[Monica Padman]

Great.

[Dax Shepard]

We were talking about Jackie Tone on Jeopardy.

[Monica Padman]

Oh, fun.

[Dax Shepard]

Which then led to me, I tell everyone who will listen about Ike's big win. Incredible performance in the true tournament of champions.

[Monica Padman]

Yeah, really cool.

[Dax Shepard]

Won the quarterfinals. Almost won the semis.

[Monica Padman]

Yeah. It's a big deal.

[Dax Shepard]

Yeah. What a guy.

[Monica Padman]

Okay.

[Dax Shepard]

You fell in love. Do you want to tell people I.

[Monica Padman]

Have a big story?

[Dax Shepard]

Yeah, let's talk about your time.

[Monica Padman]

I needs to wait.

[Dax Shepard]

Yeah, he'll have his time.

[Monica Padman]

Yesterday was such a weird day for me.

[Dax Shepard]

Okay.

[Monica Padman]

You know, in television.

[Dax Shepard]

Yes, I know television.

[Monica Padman]

You know about it. The industry.

[Dax Shepard]

Yeah.

[Monica Padman]

In television series, sometimes there's an episode called a bottle episode. It's an episode that's sort of a one off episode in the middle of the series that normally doesn't really take place in the same location. It has fewer of the regular characters. It's sort of a one.

[Dax Shepard]

It's a cost saving episode.

[Monica Padman]

Exactly.

[Dax Shepard]

Yep.

[Monica Padman]

Yesterday was the bottle episode of my life.

[Dax Shepard]

Oh, okay.

[Monica Padman]

I had a bottle episode.

[Dax Shepard]

Okay. Wow.

[Monica Padman]

Yesterday I had to. We had nothing. We weren't recording it.

[Dax Shepard]

We had the day off.

[Monica Padman]

We had the day off. It was going to be great. You know, I. I was going to have time to edit and get ahead.

[Dax Shepard]

Yeah, me too. I was going to do research of Thursday's guest. Yeah.

[Monica Padman]

Nose to the grindstone. Grindstone. But I Did have one thing to do, which is go to Santa Monica for my face.

[Dax Shepard]

Yes.

[Monica Padman]

Shout out again to Jen at Corrective Skincare. She's just changed my face.

[Dax Shepard]

She's really taking you to new places.

[Monica Padman]

She really is. I'm so grateful for her. Anyway, so I had to go to Santa Monica, but.

[Dax Shepard]

Side question, sounds perverse, but I am sincere.

[Monica Padman]

Yeah.

[Dax Shepard]

Like, men's butt cheeks are not appealing. They're, like, hairy and they just look terrible in general.

[Monica Padman]

Sometimes they're nice.

[Dax Shepard]

And you see those ones on tv, like, if they're good enough, you're. You'll be a star.

[Monica Padman]

Yeah.

[Dax Shepard]

Do you think they could do but, like, really get your butt cheeks looking healthy and moisturized and like, pink and appealing?

[Monica Padman]

Yeah. If you cared about that, I'm sure.

[Dax Shepard]

Is your face the same as your body? I guess the skin is skin, skin.

[Monica Padman]

Is skin, but not really. Like, the issues that you'd have on your face are probably different than the ones on your butt cheeks. I don't know which specific ones you're referring to.

[Ike Barinholtz]

Yeah.

[Dax Shepard]

I don't want to get into all the different things I wish were more.

[Monica Padman]

Attractive about my butt cheeks, but do you want, like.

[Dax Shepard]

Cause what's happening is my butt is getting bigger, which has been my goal for 40 years through all this cycling.

[Monica Padman]

Yeah.

[Dax Shepard]

And I look at it in the mirror and I'm like, great. It has the shape I want, but I want it to look like a male model's nude butt. Like.

[Monica Padman]

Well, do you just want to get it waxed? I mean, you mentioned hair earlier, so I can only imagine.

[Dax Shepard]

I don't. I mean, I don't. But I do. But I will.

[Monica Padman]

Okay, Well, I think first step would be that.

[Dax Shepard]

Yeah. And then see where we're at.

[Monica Padman]

Sort of serums and moisturizers.

[Dax Shepard]

But just also, my butt cheeks have never been in the sun or very minimally have they ever been in the sun. So they're the palest part of my body. I don't like that part.

[Ike Barinholtz]

Sure.

[Dax Shepard]

Let's just say there was no hair. Let's say there's no hair and it looks great other than it's just stark white.

[Monica Padman]

I don't think so. You could do self tanner on my butt cheeks. Yeah. If you really care.

[Ike Barinholtz]

All right.

[Dax Shepard]

Is there a such thing as self tanner or is it just a tint tinted moisturizer you're using, or can you put a cream on that'll make the melt? No, it's just a tint.

[Monica Padman]

It's a tint, I think, I mean, might help. I don't know.

[Dax Shepard]

God, I wish my butt cheeks were brown. Really do. I did for when in Rome because I had so many revealing scenes and I was a male model. I was getting spray tanned the whole.

[Ike Barinholtz]

Time I was in New York.

[Monica Padman]

Yep.

[Dax Shepard]

And I will say I was like, oh, I like that my butt is that color. That's nice.

[Monica Padman]

You could get another spray. You could get back into spray tan.

[Dax Shepard]

Yeah. Look in the like offer up or one of these sites. Buy a used decommissioned spray tanning booth so I can do it at home. It's very embarrassing.

[Monica Padman]

Why don't you just also you could suntan them.

[Dax Shepard]

Yes, I would love to. And this is one of my grievances about my life is that there's so many people at my house. There's never ever. And I'll get agitated. I'll be in my backyard and I think like, yeah, I have this beautiful backyard. I should be able to tan my butt cheeks. No way.

[Monica Padman]

Yeah.

[Dax Shepard]

Dog walker. Walk in on a walk in my sister walk. Oh, yikes.

[Monica Padman]

Do you, do you want to go to my house and do it?

[Ike Barinholtz]

Yes.

[Dax Shepard]

Is that available?

[Monica Padman]

Yeah.

[Dax Shepard]

Okay, great.

[Monica Padman]

You can do all my bubb tanning. I might randomly come to my house.

[Dax Shepard]

It's probably going to be an issue.

[Monica Padman]

The chances are less, I guess when.

[Dax Shepard]

You go out of town. Yeah, I'll do my ass tanning.

[Monica Padman]

Okay. Yeah, yeah.

[Dax Shepard]

Okay. Sorry I interrupted you. So your face person.

[Monica Padman]

Yes, yes. She's the best. But normally we're normally all circles back. Circles.

[Dax Shepard]

Oh my God.

[Monica Padman]

Circles.

[Dax Shepard]

Wrong features.

[Monica Padman]

So we normally are recording. So I have to go after we're recording. Which means I have to do a whole thing. Right. Like I plan the face appointment at 4:45 so that I can just stay in Santa Monica, get a bite to eat.

[Dax Shepard]

Hopefully Molly's available. And then she cancels and then you don't want to go and you say I hate it. And I said, didn't you love it? I thought you were excited to go.

[Monica Padman]

Correct. That's what happens. And then sometimes every now and then you tonka on the way home.

[Dax Shepard]

Right.

[Monica Padman]

So this time since we didn't have anything, I was like, oh, I can schedule it midday and I can try to avoid some of this crazy traffic. So I scheduled it for 12 relaxing morning actually, I had a tiny bug.

[Dax Shepard]

Okay.

[Monica Padman]

So I went to bed at 8 the night before and I woke up at 10.

[Dax Shepard]

God, am I jealous. 14 hours.

[Monica Padman]

I really needed it. I think I still didn't feel that great when I woke up at better based on. On the sleep. But anyway So I go to Santa Monica.

[Dax Shepard]

You know, your room smelled like EW bug plus 14 hours.

[Monica Padman]

Don't say that. Why couldn't it have smelled good?

[Ike Barinholtz]

Maybe it did.

[Dax Shepard]

Maybe it smelled great. It was even prettier in there after the movie.

[Monica Padman]

You know, one time Delta came over. We stopped by my house to get something when we were going shopping. And she came into my room and she said, it smells like Monica in here. I love this smell.

[Dax Shepard]

Yeah, she would have loved it. Should have sent her over to wake you up.

[Monica Padman]

Anyway, okay. So I go and drive there. It takes forever, but it's fine. It's fine. And face appointment goes great. I decide I'm gonna go. This is an hour 15 minute drive, right? It's fine. Then I decide I'm gonna go to R and D kitchen afterwards. Oh, what a treat.

[Dax Shepard]

Montana.

[Monica Padman]

Montana's tree. Drive there, sit at the bar, have my delicious chicken sandwich, have a cookie.

[Dax Shepard]

Oh, wow.

[Monica Padman]

Secret cookie. They have secret cookies there. And I don't know if I'm allowed to say that. Sorry, R and D, but that's what happened. Get back in the car. I'm like, okay, it's an hour. Saying it's an hour and three minutes. Uh, oh, but I hate that place. I know, but okay. All right. It's fine. Start driving back. It's gonna be longer than an hour and three. It's looking like. But I'm like, it's okay. I still have time. I'm gonna get my work done. It's o. Okay. Everything's okay. Don't panic.

[Dax Shepard]

Yeah.

[Monica Padman]

I'm on the highway. All of a sudden, the tire warning light comes on. The light comes on, it shows me which tire. And I was like, oh, maybe it's just like nothing. Maybe just low air pressure. And then immediate. It is just. It is dropping so fast.

[Dax Shepard]

Okay.

[Monica Padman]

And it hits zero. And I was like, I wonder if I can keep going. Yeah, I don't. I don't think it's smart. Let me pull over and see. So I got off in Culver City, still extremely far. I had not made it very far.

[Dax Shepard]

Almost worse. Maybe now you're in that tangled web of traffic.

[Monica Padman]

Exactly. So I get off, I go into this parking lot, and luckily my dad had forced me over Christmas to buy this basically air pump.

[Dax Shepard]

Oh.

[Monica Padman]

And it's really cool. It's digital. You plug it in, it tells you what the pressure is, and you can fill it up. It did say zero. And I tried to fill it up and it could only get to five.

[Dax Shepard]

Okay.

[Monica Padman]

So it was clear there Was a big issue here.

[Dax Shepard]

Yeah. Big gash or big hole.

[Monica Padman]

Then I am really, like, deflated, defeated. I'm ing Culver City. Time is a ticking.

[Dax Shepard]

Like, it's going to get worse and worse and worse.

[Monica Padman]

Exactly. Traffic is just going to get so bad. I don't really know what to do, because big grievance. Cars don't have spare tires anymore.

[Dax Shepard]

Right. I mean, you probably could have driven.

[Monica Padman]

Okay. But I couldn't have, because I ended up having to move the car to another parking spot because this woman was mad at me. And then. And it was, like, so bad driving from one parking spot to the other.

[Dax Shepard]

Okay.

[Monica Padman]

Cause these are dry flat tires. The idea. What's it called?

[Dax Shepard]

Run flats.

[Monica Padman]

Sorry. Run flat tires. It's the. The idea is that you can go, like, 50 miles on low, whatever. But that's not true. I couldn't even go one parking spot over. Anyway. This was all horrible. I didn't know what to do. I texted you, I called you. You were on Kristin's set, and then you were texting me some places I could take the car. But I was like, oh, God, then I'm gonna be stuck in Culver City. Like, this is a disaster. Luckily, my dad forced me to get aaa. Actually, he pays for it. I know, it's really sweet. And he. And so I called aaa, and it says, it's going to be an hour. I was like, oh, my God.

[Ike Barinholtz]

Just.

[Monica Padman]

I want to die.

[Dax Shepard]

You know this free day was robbed from you. Let's just say that.

[Monica Padman]

Yes. And. But I'm also. I'm like, but I have to, like, I have to get it. I got to do work. What am I going to do?

[Ike Barinholtz]

Yeah.

[Monica Padman]

And it says it's going to be an hour away, and then it's not. It's only 15 minutes.

[Dax Shepard]

Oh, wonderful.

[Monica Padman]

That's fantastic. Yes. But the thing is, we decide. You help me decide that the smartest thing to do is for us to tow the car to our area to a tire shop. A tire shop.

[Dax Shepard]

To go see John at American.

[Monica Padman]

Yes.

[Dax Shepard]

Who you know I love. Yeah.

[Monica Padman]

You know. And you love. And so I was like, God, I'm going to be in this car with this stranger.

[Dax Shepard]

I didn't even know they let you ride with the tow truck person.

[Monica Padman]

Yeah. Yeah. You. You can.

[Dax Shepard]

You can.

[Monica Padman]

Yeah.

[Dax Shepard]

Wow. Okay. Feels like a big liability, but. Yeah.

[Monica Padman]

Right. But yeah. So. So I'm like, I'm gonna have to be in a car with this stranger for like, an hour and a half. Well, I had already worried about that. I was like, what If I tonka. And then I have to pull, like, what am I gonna do? Anyway, so this man comes to pick me up, and he gets. Gets out of the truck, and he's like, what happened? I was like, oh, no, this is already a disaster. And I was like, well, he was like, did you hit something? I said, I maybe. I don't know. Probably. Yeah. Well, no, it was more like, I don't know what happened, sir.

[Dax Shepard]

I don't even know how I drive this thing.

[Monica Padman]

I am just a little girl. And then he said, okay. And he, you know, puts it up there, and I get in his car, and then I share my location with Jess because I was like, I just. This is unconscious. Like, I'm about to be in a. That's scary to me, being in a car with a stranger. And I was very skeptical.

[Dax Shepard]

Okay. Even if they're working for a. I know.

[Monica Padman]

But you just never know. And so then he starts talking immediately. He's chatty, you know. Well, first he says, how long do you have to wait? I said, oh, not long at all. Oh, good. And then he, like, goes into a very long spiel about sometimes people have to wait hours. It's not his fault. It's because the line didn't train know. He didn't get the call. And then his son calls. He takes the call with his son.

[Dax Shepard]

He then tells 70.

[Monica Padman]

You say he's around. I would guess 70. I learned.

[Dax Shepard]

Although he's black, so he could have been 90.

[Monica Padman]

Correct.

[Ike Barinholtz]

Right.

[Dax Shepard]

Because they age so much better than.

[Monica Padman]

Yeah, but his son is, like, 30.

[Dax Shepard]

Okay. So, yeah, okay. Maybe 65.

[Monica Padman]

I'm not sure. So he then tells me about his son. And he's worried about his son, but he's doing good. But he's worried. He does have some mental health problems. And then we talk the whole ride. He's going three miles an hour.

[Dax Shepard]

Okay, sure.

[Monica Padman]

So I.

[Dax Shepard]

He's concentrating on the chat a little bit.

[Monica Padman]

And I did think, oh, my God. Because we. The shop closed at five. This was around three. And I was like, I don't know that we're even gonna make it. So, you know, I'm having a lot of this turmoil of, oh, like, I just don't want to be here. Yes. I don't want to be here.

[Dax Shepard]

Here.

[Monica Padman]

I'm stuck here. This is fucking sucks. My day is ruined.

[Dax Shepard]

Terrible free day.

[Monica Padman]

Yep. And. And then I'm like, I gotta, like, start doing email or talking to someone. And. And then he. He said his name is Ted.

[Dax Shepard]

Yeah.

[Monica Padman]

Says, you know, kind of kids, these Days are really addicted to their phones. And he'll have a lot of people on that are just, you know, they're addicted to their phones. And so I was like, oh, God.

[Dax Shepard]

Yeah, he judo'd you.

[Monica Padman]

Yeah. I was like, I can't. I need to be present here. And then he said some really sweet stuff about he likes being the part of people's day, like it's a. You know, their day has gone bad. And he likes to.

[Dax Shepard]

He's the solution.

[Monica Padman]

Yeah. He likes to help people. And then I was like, you know what? I'm just gonna be present for Ted.

[Dax Shepard]

Yeah.

[Monica Padman]

Not gonna answer the phone. Then we talked the whole way.

[Dax Shepard]

Yeah.

[Monica Padman]

And then he was so, so, so nice and kind and sweet and lovely. And it was a bottle episode.

[Dax Shepard]

And it mostly took place in the car. Very cheap to shoot.

[Monica Padman]

Yeah, exactly. Exactly. And, yeah, he told me all these. All these sweet stories about his life. And I just really say what he said.

[Dax Shepard]

He asked you if you're.

[Monica Padman]

Well, first he said. First he. He looked at me and he said, you're Filipino.

[Dax Shepard]

Yep.

[Monica Padman]

Yeah. And I said, no, no, I'm not Indian. He said, I. I knew that I should. I know.

[Dax Shepard]

See, this is where I'm jealous of people that are minorities. Because you're.

[Monica Padman]

Yes. I wasn't offended.

[Dax Shepard]

Exactly. Because he's black. You're like, great.

[Monica Padman]

Yeah. And he was so good hearted.

[Dax Shepard]

Yeah, so am I, Monica.

[Monica Padman]

Yeah, you are. You are, you are, you are. But anyway, he said, hold on a second.

[Dax Shepard]

Let me see if I can see Filipino. I can see it a little bit in Europe. Yeah, I can see it a little bit.

[Monica Padman]

You can? Yeah.

[Ike Barinholtz]

Well.

[Monica Padman]

Oh, wow.

[Dax Shepard]

Yeah. Filipino. Filipinos have uncharacteristically big round eyes for Asians.

[Monica Padman]

Sure.

[Dax Shepard]

Right, Rob? Yep, Yep. We can say that.

[Monica Padman]

Okay.

[Dax Shepard]

Yeah.

[Monica Padman]

Because Rob is part. There should be an AI if people forget. Rob is part Filipino. According to.

[Dax Shepard]

He's 25% Filipino. My wife is half Filipino and her family's all Filipino.

[Monica Padman]

Yeah. And so you're dialed in and decided you are also the.

[Dax Shepard]

He's our resident expert on Filipinos.

[Monica Padman]

Yeah. So anyway, he had. He thought I was Filipino. I said, no, Indy. And he said, no, I knew that. I knew that he was really upset with himself that he had messed that up. But then he said, yeah, but like, kind of. You could be anything. I was like, yeah, I could be anything. You know, and then wouldn't we all. So he told me all these sweet stories and about blessings and, you know, he.

[Dax Shepard]

Stuff. He knew about India or.

[Monica Padman]

No, just in general. Blessings. In Life. And he gave his step granddaughter who he's calls, who calls him his dad. He's very close to her. She was moving from elementary school to middle school and she needed new clothes and so he, she asked her dad for these for money. Her grandpa dad. And he was like, ah, I didn't know what to do because I only had $250 in my bank account. I wasn't, you know, doing very well then, but I gave her $200.

[Dax Shepard]

Yeah. Now you're like, I'm a terrible person.

[Monica Padman]

Yeah.

[Dax Shepard]

Yeah.

[Monica Padman]

I thought, oh, like when he was telling me this story, I really thought the world did this today.

[Dax Shepard]

Right.

[Monica Padman]

The world made me stop and have a real conversation with a real person living a real life, got real, real challenges and is also like so beautiful. Has this great optimistic view on life. And here I am like I can't go to my edit, like so dumb.

[Dax Shepard]

And, and my free day is ruined.

[Monica Padman]

Yeah. All I got was chicken sandwich and this facial. Yeah. So yeah, it was like I was.

[Dax Shepard]

Supposed to, he was a perspective.

[Monica Padman]

I was supposed to meet Ted. I really was supposed to meet Ted.

[Dax Shepard]

But he also. Go ahead, I want to hear about the. Okay, hold on.

[Monica Padman]

But I'm not done. So he said, but it was a blessing. He couldn't believe it because the next day. Also there's a lot of in between parts of the story. A woman he was seeing at the time ended up taking the grandbaby shopping because he didn't go. He didn't want to go. He asked the mom if the new girlfriend could go and then turns out she needed a bra. So he was glad he didn't go. Yeah, that's, yeah, we were all happy for Ted that he didn't have to go. Endure that. And then the next day an old friend calls, just catching up. And then the old friend says, oh, hey man, you know what? I owe you $200. He was like, I was shocked because I just given this money and then I got it back and it was a beautiful story. Anyway, had a great, great hour and a half long ride with Ted. Yeah, I, I, I succumbed to the situation. I was like, you know what? Here I am.

[Dax Shepard]

You surrendered, correct?

[Monica Padman]

I surrendered. I succame. I accepted you.

[Dax Shepard]

Succame.

[Monica Padman]

I think that's a word you can say. So then you know, oh, at one point he says, you look 25. But because we had talked about my parents, you know, we, we know each other so well now.

[Dax Shepard]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Right.

[Monica Padman]

So he, he knew my parents ages. So he said, you look 25. But you're what? Probably. Then you're like, maybe you're 35. And I said, I'm 37. He said, wow. Yeah. Wow. And, you know, then, by then, when we were pulling up. I am glad this happened at the end.

[Dax Shepard]

Okay.

[Monica Padman]

We were pulling up to John John's shop.

[Dax Shepard]

Yep.

[Monica Padman]

And he said, do you have kids? And I said, no, I don't. And he said, oh, man. No, you gotta have kids. You gotta have a. To have. You got to have a girl that looks just like you. I was like, that's really sweet, Ted. Thank you. And he said, but you have a husband, right? And I said, no, I don't have a husband. And then he almost d. Drove the truck off the road. Yeah, I bet he really. He really was surprised.

[Dax Shepard]

Yes.

[Monica Padman]

By that. And he said, well, then everyone's dumb or blind.

[Dax Shepard]

There we go.

[Monica Padman]

Just very, very, very nice. And I said, well, that's sweet. But, you know, I was like, well, part of it's me, you know. He was like, you took a little ownership over this. I said, well, I. I work hard and I'm busy, and I don't really, you know, date that much. And then he said. I said, so, you know, part of that's mean. He said, well, are you tough? And I was like, yeah, I'm tough and I have high expectations. And I said, and also, what if.

[Dax Shepard]

He said, do you not clean house? Is that.

[Monica Padman]

No? Oh, he was very progressive, as you'll about. You're about to hear. I said, well, you know, also, a lot of men are threatened by accomplished women. He said, I've been hearing this. I've been hearing this, and I really don't understand it. I don't understand why if you. If you couldn't be with a smart woman, why we would. Why wouldn't you be with a smart woman?

[Dax Shepard]

Yeah, right.

[Monica Padman]

Yeah. So he gave me his phone number, and he. And he said, maybe we could go to lunch. Yeah. And he said. And he said we could maybe go to lunch sometime.

[Dax Shepard]

He's like, oh, my God.

[Monica Padman]

He wasn't asking me.

[Dax Shepard]

Rich box.

[Monica Padman]

He wasn't asking me out. He just wants to maybe we could develop some sort of relationship where we go to lunch.

[Dax Shepard]

Yeah.

[Monica Padman]

And. And I said, yeah, absolutely. And then I. I gave him a tip.

[Dax Shepard]

Okay, great.

[Monica Padman]

And he was. He, like, you know, took the money and he said, I'm gonna save a lot of this for our lunch.

[Dax Shepard]

Oh, I love him.

[Monica Padman]

I love him.

[Dax Shepard]

I love him.

[Monica Padman]

He's the nicest person I've ever met.

[Ike Barinholtz]

Yeah.

[Monica Padman]

I think when I told Jess Story, he said, this is when you, like, you do the review and you're like, ted was great. And they say Ted's been dead for eight years.

[Dax Shepard]

Ted stopped driving for us in 06 when he passed.

[Monica Padman]

I know.

[Dax Shepard]

He's like a ghost.

[Monica Padman]

He's a ghost angel.

[Dax Shepard]

Yeah. Ghost angel.

[Monica Padman]

It was a beautiful experience. Yeah.

[Ike Barinholtz]

I love it.

[Monica Padman]

And I was really. I was really grateful for it. And I needed it. I needed it.

[Ike Barinholtz]

Yeah. You learned a lot.

[Dax Shepard]

A lesson by the end of the bottle episode.

[Monica Padman]

I do. You always do.

[Dax Shepard]

You gotta learn a lesson. You forget it the next episode. But you do learn it.

[Monica Padman]

Oh, yeah. This morning I woke up and I was like, I didn't do anything I.

[Dax Shepard]

Was supposed to do. I'm not Filipino, you racist.

[Monica Padman]

I know. So, yeah. And I decided to give in to the rest of the day. I didn't do any of the things I was supposed to do. I didn't answer any emails.

[Dax Shepard]

I don't know why I thought of this. Maybe because this story is so sweet. And then I just naturally have to think of something terrible.

[Monica Padman]

Go ahead.

[Dax Shepard]

What if he had said, he's talking about the. And then I. So I sent my girlfriend to go take her shopping. And that worked out, you know, but unfortunately we. We broke up. She said my penis was too big for her.

[Monica Padman]

Ted would never say that. Ted would never say that.

[Dax Shepard]

Stay tuned for more Iron Chair expert, if you dare. We are supported by all state. Some people just know they could save hundreds on car insurance by checking All State first. Like, you know, to check that you brought your towel first before diving into a swimming pool. Or like, you know, to check that you have the tickets in your wallet first before you drive two hours to the big game and they won't let you in. Like, you know, to check your trunk for reusable shopping bags first before you get to the grocery store checkout line and need to buy paper bags again. Checking first is smart. So check Allstate first for a quote. That could save you hundreds. You're in good hands with Allstate Savings. Vary subject to terms, conditions and availability. Allstate Fire and Casualty Insurance Company and Affiliates, Northbrook, Illinois. I wonder if anyone's ever said they broke up with someone, though, because they're partner. Well, I think it really has happened whether you would say that or not.

[Monica Padman]

Well, I'm not to give too many details, but I do know a tangential story of someone who spoke of their ex boyfriend and said his dick was too big. He had such a big dick.

[Dax Shepard]

Yeah, I've heard that. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. It's not for everyone.

[Monica Padman]

I think I'm gonna say too. Too big is worse than too small.

[Dax Shepard]

Well, yeah, if it's painful.

[Monica Padman]

Exactly. Yeah.

[Dax Shepard]

Yeah. That's a part of not best in show, but waiting for Guffman.

[Monica Padman]

Oh, I love that.

[Dax Shepard]

Where he had to get penis reduction surgery.

[Monica Padman]

I don't remember that. Yeah, Yeah, I should rewatch that. Anyway, let's not mire this sweet story about Ted. He didn't say anything like that. And he was a beautiful man, and I'm grateful I met him.

[Dax Shepard]

I guess my only update is I had a first date that went really, really well.

[Monica Padman]

I want to hear all about this, so real quick. I do want to just say publicly. I just want to thank you for helping me.

[Dax Shepard]

Oh, my pleasure.

[Monica Padman]

You did.

[Dax Shepard]

It's rare. I feel very helpful. Your interests are not things I can generally help with.

[Monica Padman]

Yeah. Jeans to buy and stuff.

[Dax Shepard]

Yeah. Like, oh, my God, they didn't have the sweater. Don't you know a guy? I don't. Right. I don't know anything about any of that.

[Monica Padman]

Yeah.

[Dax Shepard]

But yes. If you have a tire problem, like, on it, here's three places by you. Here's my guy John. I text, john, this car is coming, so get this tire already ordered.

[Monica Padman]

You know, that's why it's perfect, because I don't need you for jeans. Like, I have my own expertise there. But when I'm sitting in the parking lot of a sprouts and culvert city, and I'm like, I get Ted Seegers.

[Dax Shepard]

Should have went in and killed a couple cans of Ted.

[Monica Padman]

I. When I think, like, I guess I live here now in this parking lot.

[Dax Shepard]

Yeah. Right, right. This is my new reality.

[Monica Padman]

Then it is very helpful to have someone who knows how to help get me out of there.

[Dax Shepard]

Oh, my pleasure.

[Monica Padman]

I appreciate it.

[Dax Shepard]

I wish you had more flat tires. Not for you, but for my usefulness to you.

[Monica Padman]

I only need one tire. Had experience, like, once every 10 years.

[Dax Shepard]

Okay. All right. I'll hear from you again in 2035.

[Monica Padman]

Anyway, so you had a great date.

[Dax Shepard]

I had a date. Yeah. Sunday date, which is a very fun day to have a date. And my date was Walton.

[Monica Padman]

Walton Goggins.

[Dax Shepard]

Walton Goggins. Goggle glasses. Uncle baby Billy's probably ball bunglers. And he had worked, like, 90 hours that week. You know, he's shooting fallout, which is a real show to shoot. I mean, he's in makeup for hours. He's not cables.

[Monica Padman]

Yeah.

[Dax Shepard]

So I think the mood was right. Like, I think he was just so grateful to have a fucking day off and to chill and to sauna and a hot tub and you never know how these first dates are gonna go.

[Monica Padman]

Yeah.

[Dax Shepard]

And it was just really fun. But then we got in a zone in the hot tub. I bet we were in the hot tub together for an hour and a half. Just really shriveled up, digging in. Yeah, yeah. Pruned up and. Yeah. It was just really wonderful. We have so many similar vibey things. So I think that's my full update on life is I had a really fun date and I look forward to more. And then I found out last night while we were texting that we both worship Waylon Jennings. It's just really going well.

[Monica Padman]

Did you. You should watch his Architectural Digest.

[Dax Shepard]

There's a video of it.

[Monica Padman]

Yes, they do video. They do house tours of cool houses.

[Dax Shepard]

I saw pictures of the Architectural Digest things. The house in the Hudson Valley. A video.

[Monica Padman]

Gorgeous. It's gorgeous.

[Dax Shepard]

He's so neat. He's, like, been obsessed. I learned on Sunday, like, he used to just when he was a broke actor, he spent almost all of his time, free time in these furniture stores of these really fancy furnitures and different, like, home decor places.

[Monica Padman]

Yeah.

[Ike Barinholtz]

Art.

[Dax Shepard]

And he just spent a bunch of time there. And they'd say to him, like, what? This is your, like, 10th time in here? He's like, yeah, yeah, I can't afford to buy anything, but I just love this stuff. And then a couple of really beautiful things were the ones. Dude was like, well, how much you have in your pocket? And sold him something for crazy cheap. Oh, really? Yeah. So he's. He's so genuinely.

[Monica Padman]

I used to go to lots of home stores before I could afford it. No one offered me.

[Dax Shepard]

You got to go 30 days in a row. And then they got to want to get rid of you. Like, what is it in here you could walk out with? And then I will see you again.

[Monica Padman]

Oh, how sweet. Yeah, he has great taste.

[Ike Barinholtz]

Oh, yeah.

[Monica Padman]

Fantastic taste.

[Dax Shepard]

Yeah. What a stylish dude. Did you notice what's behind you, Monica?

[Monica Padman]

Oh, shit. Yeah. Okay. Rob has an update. Oh, he went back to the coffee shop.

[Dax Shepard]

They only had one left.

[Monica Padman]

He went back to the coffee shop and he got this merch that says Atelier bf.

[Dax Shepard]

Vincent was with me and thought it was for him. And, oh, no, kept asking mint when.

[Ike Barinholtz]

He gets his presentation.

[Monica Padman]

Rob.

[Dax Shepard]

This happened before with us. Rob did it. Yes. There's this very similar. Oh, it was when we were at the Descanso Gardens.

[Monica Padman]

Calvin was there.

[Dax Shepard]

Calvin. He bought Something. Or my girls bought something and they gave it to me.

[Monica Padman]

It was a lollipop and he offered it to me.

[Dax Shepard]

And then you had to go rebuy it. Right, Calvin? I told him he could get one thing from the gift shop. He got a lollipop and he gave it to Monica.

[Monica Padman]

Yeah.

[Ike Barinholtz]

All right.

[Dax Shepard]

I knew I remembered it. And then you had to sneak back in and give another.

[Monica Padman]

Kids are the sweetest. It is. It is. Really. I feel bad that we aren't giving this to kill him.

[Dax Shepard]

He's got a million stuff, so if it weren't for that, I'd give him it. But it's good for our spoiled kids to not get something every now and then. But wow. At best friend, this, I think it's a like sasquatch. The box says.

[Monica Padman]

Oh, okay.

[Dax Shepard]

Oh, I keep holding up to me cuz I'm getting something. I'm really getting something.

[Ike Barinholtz]

Like one of three best friends.

[Monica Padman]

Oh, oh. We can collect.

[Dax Shepard]

Oh, I know what it looks like. It looks like Alf. Turn it around and stare at the nose. It really is ALF adjacent.

[Monica Padman]

This is mocha. It says barista mocha and designer Fluffy boy and brown are longtime best friends.

[Dax Shepard]

Oh, that's nice.

[Monica Padman]

Brown. So maybe. Okay. Rob is mocha, you're fluffy boy, and I'm brown.

[Dax Shepard]

Oh, wonderful.

[Monica Padman]

Oh, that's really cute.

[Dax Shepard]

You're both Filipino and I'm still over here as a caucasoid boring old. Well, maybe one of my daughters will marry someone and then. And then that'll make me 12% or whatever.

[Monica Padman]

Yeah. All right. Well, we're a little bit on a time crunch. I did do a. Yeah, we'll save that next time. No, we'll save for next time. Okay. So this, this is for Ike. We just love Ike so much. Now you said There's a saying 10ft tall in something. There's a. And then you said. And bulletproof. Question mark. There's a song called 10ft Tall and Bulletproof. It's by Travis Tritt, 1994. There's also a ding ding ding quote from eastbound and down. 10ft tall and strong as an ox.

[Dax Shepard]

Nice. Kind of a hybrid.

[Monica Padman]

Yeah. Richest man in Mexico, Carlos Slim Still. Yeah.

[Dax Shepard]

His wealth is fluctuated. What, you want to do a crypto Bitcoin?

[Monica Padman]

Yeah.

[Dax Shepard]

Boy, I wonder what it's at cost of Bitcoin.

[Monica Padman]

85,675.

[Dax Shepard]

That's a little lower. Or had it gone? What was the nadir of?

[Monica Padman]

I don't remember. Well, I don't remember. The lowest it's gone on so far, but it's. It's been declining.

[Dax Shepard]

Yeah.

[Monica Padman]

Okay, now, what is ebitda?

[Dax Shepard]

Ebitda?

[Monica Padman]

A company's earnings before interest, taxes, depreciation, and amortization. Amortization. That's a hard word for me. Amortization.

[Dax Shepard]

Amortization.

[Monica Padman]

Yeah. I don't know.

[Dax Shepard]

I like to say amortized. Oh, that reminds me. I went to Lauren Graham's birthday party.

[Monica Padman]

Oh.

[Dax Shepard]

And her father was there, who we spoke about a bunch. Right.

[Monica Padman]

Yeah.

[Dax Shepard]

Who learned Vietnamese when he was in college and went over to Vietnam.

[Monica Padman]

Uhhuh.

[Dax Shepard]

And I was having to explain this to numerous people I was sitting with, and I kept saying it wrong. And I thought, God, this is so rough for him. Cuz he.

[Monica Padman]

Yeah.

[Dax Shepard]

Speaks it. Yeah.

[Monica Padman]

And it'd be like if you were around me and you kept calling it Imdian.

[Dax Shepard]

Yeah. It'd be offensive. And I try my hardest. One neat thing he taught me about Viet is that you can say the same five words. Words like they're the same five words, but it's your tone that changes the word dramatically. So you could say the same sentence, but if you don't have the tone. And then it kind of explained when I'm listening to them speak, it does sound really kind of all over the map, tonally.

[Monica Padman]

Oh, interesting.

[Dax Shepard]

And that's because that's how they're changing the meaning of the word.

[Monica Padman]

That's so cool. Yeah, I like that.

[Dax Shepard]

He gave some great examples of word. Like the same sentence means this if you're up here, and then it means this if you're down. Down here.

[Monica Padman]

Oh, nice. Okay. Is progeria when you're aging really quickly? Yes. Rare genetic disorder that causes premature aging in children.

[Dax Shepard]

I hate that disease.

[Monica Padman]

I know. Who was the other person in Jeopardy. Semifinals with Ike, there was Ben Chan and then Jared Watson. He was the other one.

[Dax Shepard]

Okay. Jared Watson. By the way, Jackie beat Neil Degrasse Tyson.

[Monica Padman]

I'm so proud of Jackie. That's awesome.

[Dax Shepard]

Yeah.

[Monica Padman]

He said 1995, Bill Clinton signed national Hugs Act. That was a joke.

[Dax Shepard]

That's not real.

[Monica Padman]

It's not real.

[Dax Shepard]

Okay.

[Monica Padman]

And I'm sad about it.

[Dax Shepard]

Yeah.

[Monica Padman]

I wish it was real.

[Dax Shepard]

Although an excuse for a lot of unwanted hugs if it's a national, people are like, I'm so sorry. I just gotta do this. Honk, honk, honk. Aruga, aruga.

[Monica Padman]

Tune in.

[Dax Shepard]

Tokyo. National Hugs.

[Monica Padman]

Yep. I guess we did dodge a bullet there. Okay. Did Marilyn Manson?

[Dax Shepard]

You did. Not me.

[Monica Padman]

Well, I don't think you would like some person coming up to you random going, honk. Honk. Tune in. Tokyo Aruga. Oh, yeah, yeah.

[Dax Shepard]

That if they throw an aruga my way, I might be able to deal with it.

[Monica Padman]

Okay. Did Marilyn Manson take his ribs out so he could suck his own dick? No.

[Dax Shepard]

To hear you say it that way.

[Monica Padman]

He didn't do it.

[Dax Shepard]

He didn't do that.

[Monica Padman]

Yeah.

[Dax Shepard]

It turns out he could suck his own dick with all of his.

[Monica Padman]

Yeah, he didn't need to remove any.

[Dax Shepard]

What a bizarre urban legend.

[Monica Padman]

Did Bruce Springsteen kiss Clarence Clemence?

[Dax Shepard]

Oh, yes, they did.

[Monica Padman]

They kiss many times.

[Dax Shepard]

Oh, they kiss all the time.

[Monica Padman]

At the end of the song Thunder Road, Clarence said that it just happened spontaneously the first time because Bruce was kneeling down by him. They loved each other like brothers, and it just seemed natural. Then I guess they made it into a thing. Okay. He talked about eating a gigantic sandwich.

[Dax Shepard]

Right during the writers sessions with Mindy.

[Monica Padman]

The way he was talking about that sandwich, you can sell it. I wanted it so bad. And then I ate. I got a gigantic sandwich immediately after he left.

[Dax Shepard]

Dagwood.

[Monica Padman]

No, it was turkey. What's a Dagwood?

[Dax Shepard]

Yeah, you should look it up. But it's just an enormous sandwich. My grandmother used to say, you do want a Dagwood. And it was just like, it would be 7 inches tall with like lettuce and tomato and this and that tall, multi layer sandwich made with a variety of. Of meats, cheeses and condiments.

[Monica Padman]

But is it different than a sub?

[Dax Shepard]

It's taller with just like regular, more vertical white bread. Like, the house is on the border, Kentucky and Cincinnati.

[Ike Barinholtz]

I mean, I don't think the bread.

[Dax Shepard]

Matters, but like a typical loaf.

[Monica Padman]

Oh, interesting. Okay. Anyway, I think he could sell sandwiches, like, as a second career. Yeah, he could do it just by saying, I ate a sandwich. Like, it really got me. Okay, who's the rat race actor who looks like, like Ike? His name is Vince V. Louf. Vince V. Louf V I E L U F is fucking through a sheet, huh? Well, that is, no question. Yes.

[Dax Shepard]

Tbd.

[Monica Padman]

But no. Is it a thing in the Hasidic Jewish community? No. Let's just put that to rest.

[Dax Shepard]

Yeah.

[Monica Padman]

It's not.

[Dax Shepard]

Let's bring it up in five months.

[Monica Padman]

Yeah, we will.

[Dax Shepard]

Different guests.

[Monica Padman]

And then Misel Tov, you say @ the end of the episode. That's an old callback. You used to say it all the time. Our early listeners will remember it. Well, yeah, and when I was on Twitter, still, you weren't saying it because measles have had an outbreak. You. It was an old callback that's it.

[Dax Shepard]

That was everything. Okay, let me shout it from the rooftops. I love Ike Baron. I think he might be the perfect person.

[Monica Padman]

He's a great person because he does.

[Dax Shepard]

He's kind of like, remember when Jonah Nolan rolled up and you're like, this guy's a genius. Same with Ike.

[Monica Padman]

That's so mixed Messi's.

[Dax Shepard]

I love that.

[Monica Padman]

We love mixed Messi's.

[Dax Shepard]

Yeah. All right.

[Monica Padman]

All right.

[Dax Shepard]

Love you. Love you. Follow Armchair Expert on the Wondry app, Amazon Music, or wherever you get your podcasts. You can listen to every episode of Armchair Expert early and ad free right now by joining one Wondry plus in the Wondry app or on Apple Podcasts. Before you go, tell us about yourself by completing a short [e-mail] survey.

[Ike Barinholtz]

Introducing Instagram teen Accounts. A new way to keep your teen safer as they grow. Like making sure they always have their seatbelt on.

[Monica Padman]

All right, sweetie pie, buckle up. Good job.

[Ike Barinholtz]

Or ring the bell on their bike.

[Monica Padman]

Okay, kid, give it a try.

[Ike Barinholtz]

Nice. Or remember their elbow pads.

[Monica Padman]

Knees, too. Okay. Yep. There you go.

[Ike Barinholtz]

New Instagram Teen Accounts. Automatic protections for who can contact your teen and the content they can see.