Lisa Kudrow

Summary

Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard - Episode: Lisa Kudrow (Release Date: December 9, 2024)

Introduction

In this episode of Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard, host Dax Shepard engages in an insightful and candid conversation with the acclaimed actress Lisa Kudrow. Joined by co-host Monica Padman, the trio delves deep into Lisa's journey from her academic pursuits in anthropology to her iconic role in Friends, exploring the complexities of fame, personal growth, and the intricacies of interpersonal relationships in the spotlight.

1. Early Life and Academic Pursuits

Lisa Kudrow begins by sharing her academic background, detailing her time at Vassar College where she majored in biology with intentions of pursuing a medical career.

• Quote: “I was pre-med. So I was going to be on a medical track.” [12:18]

Lisa reflects on her initial disinterest in acting during her high school years, emphasizing her perception of acting as a frivolous pursuit not aligned with her scientific aspirations.

• Quote: “It was too frivolous. Yeah.” [14:06]

2. Transition to Acting and Groundlings Experience

Despite her academic focus, Lisa's passion for performance led her to participate in a play production during summer school, igniting her interest in acting. This pivotal moment set the stage for her later involvement with the Groundlings, an improvisational and sketch comedy troupe.

• Quote: “I did a play production thing and we wrote sketches and it was so fun and I could do it well.” [13:47]

Her journey with the Groundlings included meeting future comedy luminary Conan O'Brien, whose mentorship played a significant role in her comedic development.

• Quote: “He said, go to Groundlings. That's where I learned the most for acting.” [49:07]

3. Auditioning for Friends and Early Career Challenges

Lisa recounts her audition process for Friends, including interactions with director James Burrows. Initially facing rejection, her persistence and commitment to honing her craft eventually led to her breakthrough role as Phoebe Buffay.

• Quote: “I walked out going, that either means I give up, she's helpless, or it was perfect.” [66:07]

The episode highlights the challenges she faced, including a difficult table read where she was directed to perform a scene in a way that didn't align with her comfort zone.

• Quote: “He says, no notes. And I walk out going, that either means I give up, she's helpless, or it was perfect.” [65:18]

4. The Impact of Fame and Personal Growth

A significant portion of the conversation centers on the effects of fame on personal identity and relationships. Lisa discusses the paradox of being widely adored yet grappling with self-acceptance and the fear of losing one's authentic self amidst public scrutiny.

• Quote: “Ultimately, it's so nice that people love you, but it doesn't work if you don't love you.” [108:23]

Dax Shepard echoes these sentiments, reflecting on his own struggles with self-worth and the realization that external validation is insufficient for internal peace.

• Quote: “If I can own one of the worst parts of me... it's a very hard thing to accept.” [142:15]

5. Dealing with Public Perception and Self-Image

The conversation delves into how public figures manage their self-image versus how they are perceived by others. Lisa shares her discomfort with watching herself perform, highlighting the challenge of separating personal identity from public persona.

• Quote: “I didn't even watch it like on Max from season one. I tried. I don't know if I can do season one, but maybe season two or three.” [114:58]

Monica Padman and Dax Shepard discuss the universal struggle of reconciling one's true self with external expectations, emphasizing the importance of self-acceptance.

• Quote: “You do want to be different. So it's like anything anyone was doing, I was out.” [78:56]

6. Reflections on Acting Roles and Creativity

Lisa reflects on her various roles beyond Friends, including her work on The Comeback and her creative processes in developing characters. She emphasizes the importance of authenticity in her performances and the joy derived from connecting with audiences.

• Quote: “It's about being part of a community. But a community doing what?” [30:00]

Dax Shepard highlights the significance of intentional storytelling and the responsibility actors bear in portraying relatable and genuine characters.

• Quote: “If you make people laugh, that's it.” [82:07]

7. Personal Anecdotes and Humorous Interactions

Throughout the episode, Lisa, Dax, and Monica share humorous anecdotes and personal stories, showcasing their camaraderie and the lighthearted nature of the conversation. These moments provide a balanced mix of depth and levity, making the discussion both engaging and relatable.

• Quote: “I did, you're a groundling improv genius.” [02:16]

• Quote: “You are such a constant child.” [116:18]

8. Addressing Modern Concerns: AI and the Future of Acting

The trio touches upon contemporary issues such as the role of AI in entertainment and the potential future of acting careers. They debate the implications of AI-generated performances and the importance of preserving human creativity and emotional depth in acting.

• Quote: “We don't need each other anymore.” [26:05]

• Quote: “But AI can do that for me, but it's just making you look looked after, cared for, kept up.” [94:30]

Conclusion

This episode of Armchair Expert offers a profound exploration of Lisa Kudrow's journey in the entertainment industry, the complexities of fame, and the importance of self-acceptance. Through candid dialogue and shared experiences, Dax Shepard and Monica Padman provide listeners with a nuanced understanding of what it means to navigate personal and professional challenges in the public eye. The conversation underscores the value of authenticity, resilience, and the enduring human spirit in the face of constant scrutiny and expectation.

Notable Quotes with Timestamps:

• Lisa Kudrow: “I was pre-med. So I was going to be on a medical track.” [12:18]

• Lisa Kudrow: “It was too frivolous. Yeah.” [14:06]

• Lisa Kudrow: “I did a play production thing and we wrote sketches and it was so fun and I could do it well.” [13:47]

• Lisa Kudrow: “He said, go to Groundlings. That's where I learned the most for acting.” [49:07]

• Dax Shepard: “If I can own one of the worst parts of me... it's a very hard thing to accept.” [142:15]

• Lisa Kudrow: “Ultimately, it's so nice that people love you, but it doesn't work if you don't love you.” [108:23]

• Dax Shepard: “If you make people laugh, that's it.” [82:07]

• Lisa Kudrow: “It's about being part of a community. But a community doing what?” [30:00]

• Monica Padman: “But self-acceptance is key.” [Not directly quoted, implied]

Disclaimer: This summary is based on the provided transcript of the podcast episode featuring Lisa Kudrow on Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard. Quotes are attributed with estimated timestamps for reference.

Transcript

[Dax Shepard]

Wondry subscribers can listen to Armchair Expert early and ad free. Right now, join Wondry plus in the Wondry app or on Apple Podcasts. Or you can listen for free wherever you get your podcasts. Ba dum bam bam bam bam bam bam bam bam bam bam dee dee dee. Welcome, welcome, welcome to Armchair Expert. I'm Dan Shepard and I'm joined by.

[Monica Padman]

Miniature Mouse by Monica Geller.

[Dax Shepard]

How's the song go? Did I have it? You can't trick.

[Monica Padman]

It's not really right, but it's close.

[Dax Shepard]

It's close.

[Monica Padman]

Yeah.

[Dax Shepard]

What's the chorus? Just give me the words. I'll be there for you.

[Monica Padman]

Thank you.

[Dax Shepard]

I'll be there for you. Even mom says, what's the second part?

[Monica Padman]

That was it.

[Lisa Kudrow]

That was it.

[Dax Shepard]

Oh yeah. What's happening with you? Hearing the song come out of my mouth is very disruptive.

[Monica Padman]

Well, we're just dysregulating.

[Dax Shepard]

Okay.

[Lisa Kudrow]

Can we please.

[Dax Shepard]

Friends. What if I thought at some point they scream friends in the sun?

[Monica Padman]

Our first friends. This is very important. Maybe that's why I'm getting upset.

[Dax Shepard]

Yeah, you're getting nervous because it's such an honor and you're afraid I'm going to anger our lovely guest, Lisa Kudor. You can't. She's a groundling improv genius. She knows how to party and get down and play.

[Monica Padman]

She sure does.

[Dax Shepard]

She was awesome. I love Lisa Kudrow too. Well, that's our guest, Lisa Kudrow. I said it seven times. She's an award winning actor, a producer. Friends. Da da da. Friends. The Comeback. Romeo and Michelle's High School Reunion Web Therapy. I was on that. Who do you think you are? And okay. Her new show, I say from the bottom of my heart is delicious.

[Monica Padman]

I can't wait.

[Dax Shepard]

You're going to love it. I told you, it's very Murders in the Building with apartments in the building.

[Lisa Kudrow]

I know.

[Monica Padman]

I'm so excited.

[Dax Shepard]

Yes, it's really, really great. She's fantastic in it. Please enjoy.

[Monica Padman]

Guys, this is a huge deal.

[Dax Shepard]

I know.

[Monica Padman]

I feel very grateful. We're seven years in and we. It's our first friend.

[Dax Shepard]

It'll come up in the episode. But I. I want to say it now. We did almost have a friend, David Schwimmer.

[Lisa Kudrow]

Yeah.

[Dax Shepard]

And he had to cancel cuz he had really bad ear infection.

[Monica Padman]

Yes.

[Dax Shepard]

And Robbie Wab said he had Schwimmer's ear. Yeah, it's really good.

[Monica Padman]

Great joke.

[Dax Shepard]

It bears repeating twice. Okay. Please enjoy Lisa Kudrow. We are supported by Audible. Audible's best of 2024 picks are here. Audible's curated list in every category is the best way to hear 2024's best in audio entertainment. Like a stunning new full cast production of George Orwell's 1984, this is the one I am most excited to indulge myself with.

[Monica Padman]

I excited to listen to James which is a new title by Percival effort that is very, very hot right now.

[Dax Shepard]

Well, there's so many good ones on the list.

[Monica Padman]

We love Audible. This is how you go to bed.

[Dax Shepard]

I love Audible. I swear by Audible. I can't wait to listen to the Orwell 1984 off this list. I'm also doing Fleas by Autobiography right now, which I'm obsessed with. I can't get enough Audible in my life every night. Go to audible.comdax and discover all the years best waiting for you. That's audible.com Dax we are supported by Amazon Prime. You might think of prime as your gateway to incredibly fast free shipping on all your Amazon orders, which it definitely is. But prime is so much more than that. Being a Prime member gives you access to prime video, Amazon music, prime gaming, ultra fast grocery delivery and tons of other benefits.

[Monica Padman]

It's a game changer, especially during the holiday season. Want to get in the holiday spirit while relaxing at home? Press play on a holiday playlist on Amazon Music or stream a festive movie on Prime Video. You've got an instant ticket to holiday cheer.

[Dax Shepard]

Sounds like a great night. Another way prime saves the holidays. Let's say a coworker got you a holiday present and you somehow forgot to get them something, seamlessly shop for their gift on Amazon.com and then use prime to get free one day or same day delivery. So it's like they were on your gift list all along. So what are you waiting for? Become a Prime member today and get more out of whatever passions you're pursuing, whatever you're into. It's on Prime.

[Lisa Kudrow]

I'm chewing gum.

[Monica Padman]

Oh, wow.

[Dax Shepard]

Yeah, you should. Is it nicotine gum?

[Lisa Kudrow]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Dax Shepard]

You know I love nicotine. I'm on all kinds of variety other than smoking.

[Lisa Kudrow]

What?

[Dax Shepard]

I do the mints, the lozenges, and then I do a little spray. Do you know about the spray?

[Lisa Kudrow]

I don't do it.

[Dax Shepard]

But you know about it.

[Lisa Kudrow]

My husband does.

[Dax Shepard]

Oh, he does.

[Lisa Kudrow]

You get it here.

[Dax Shepard]

It's pricey because. Yeah, they're European.

[Lisa Kudrow]

Right, right. That's it.

[Dax Shepard]

That's it right here.

[Lisa Kudrow]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, that's it.

[Dax Shepard]

That's so exciting.

[Lisa Kudrow]

I'm just so happy. I'm not getting judged for still using nicotine.

[Dax Shepard]

Oh, no, no, no.

[Lisa Kudrow]

Because most people say, well, you gotta get off that. Why?

[Monica Padman]

Yeah, because they don't know.

[Dax Shepard]

They're just thinking of smoking, which, yes, you should get off smoking. And I chewed tobacco, which, of course you should get off of that. But nicotine's fine.

[Lisa Kudrow]

That's what my research has shown.

[Dax Shepard]

Yeah, we have many doctors confirm that on here.

[Monica Padman]

Yeah.

[Lisa Kudrow]

Oh, good. That's not the problem. It was the delivery system that's the problem. Tobacco is the best delivery system. The dosage was really perfect.

[Monica Padman]

How long did you partake in that delivery system?

[Lisa Kudrow]

20 years.

[Monica Padman]

Nice.

[Lisa Kudrow]

Yeah. And then 20 years of this.

[Dax Shepard]

I'm 20 years on this too.

[Lisa Kudrow]

Yay.

[Dax Shepard]

We both put it the same. I quit it in 2005.

[Lisa Kudrow]

Yeah, me too.

[Dax Shepard]

I did the full body scan recently, and I was just bracing. I'm like, you know, dude, you smoked. Pack a day when not drinking and several packs when drinking a day.

[Lisa Kudrow]

That's a bad combination too. That's so bad.

[Monica Padman]

It is.

[Dax Shepard]

You can't get enough of them in your mouth when you're drunk.

[Lisa Kudrow]

I know. Well, it's just two lung irritants and throat irritants. It's so bad.

[Dax Shepard]

It's a real fuck you to that whole system.

[Lisa Kudrow]

Yeah. By the way, this is why I'm no fun at a dinner party.

[Dax Shepard]

Why?

[Lisa Kudrow]

Because I get like, oh, no, that's terrible. Two irritants, you know? Did you read the study on.

[Dax Shepard]

I think that's part of your charm, though.

[Lisa Kudrow]

Oh, yeah, no, it is.

[Dax Shepard]

I watch a ton of interviews with you today. I think that's a very charming party. Now back to you and I trying to not perform anymore.

[Lisa Kudrow]

Oh, right.

[Dax Shepard]

My therapist would say to me, hey, sometimes. And I'm only asking you to do it 10% of the time, sometimes. Watch the show. It's a good show. You don't always have to be the show. But I'm so controlling some of my performings out of my controlling nature. Is yours that way?

[Lisa Kudrow]

I'm not sure or I don't want to know. Okay. Maybe more to the point, maybe I am. After Friends, I did two different shows. That was basically just me.

[Monica Padman]

Yes, yes, yes, yes.

[Lisa Kudrow]

So I did have to think about, ooh, what's wrong with you?

[Monica Padman]

Coming from the most quintessential ensemble.

[Lisa Kudrow]

And to me, that has nothing to do with it.

[Dax Shepard]

Sure.

[Monica Padman]

Coincidence, by the way.

[Lisa Kudrow]

Maybe it does have nothing to do with it.

[Monica Padman]

Yeah.

[Dax Shepard]

Yeah.

[Lisa Kudrow]

And maybe it does. Do I have to know wasn't the.

[Dax Shepard]

Working title, though, of one of the Shows. Now it's my time to shine.

[Lisa Kudrow]

That was another show. That was a third show.

[Dax Shepard]

There's a third show still in development. In development hell. But my controlling part is I get anxiety that if it's left to some non professionals, that this thing's gonna go in the ditch. It's like if I get on an elevator with four strangers, I think, well, I'm the one with improv training. It's kind of on my shoulders to make this experience less awkward.

[Lisa Kudrow]

Or is it also their expectations from this group of me? Yes. So to me, that is very actory or entertaining person who's trying to please or fulfill expectations. I know there's a part of me that just wants to play too. So if I am in a gathering where there are funny people around and they're doing bits, I want to participate. I also want to see if I can keep up or I'm a little competitive and I think I can do.

[Monica Padman]

Better, I can beat them.

[Lisa Kudrow]

I want to see if I can win at this game.

[Monica Padman]

And you still feel that way?

[Lisa Kudrow]

Yeah, sometimes. And then there's plenty of times where I do feel like, go for it.

[Monica Padman]

Yeah.

[Lisa Kudrow]

Especially if it's a bunch of standups. Stand up comedians.

[Dax Shepard]

That is a different vibe though, doesn't it?

[Lisa Kudrow]

Yes.

[Dax Shepard]

You and I are both from the Groundlings.

[Lisa Kudrow]

Yes.

[Dax Shepard]

And we're both improv people and sketch people. I often feel, and this is too critical of standups, but it's like, are we playing or am I hearing six minutes of your standup right now? Is this interactive or am I the recipient of pre planned something?

[Lisa Kudrow]

Right. And it can get mean if I overstep, I'm inviting some hostility. Potentially interesting if I question or compete.

[Monica Padman]

Oh, sure. Yeah.

[Dax Shepard]

I bet it's worse for you because you're a woman.

[Lisa Kudrow]

A woman. That's true.

[Monica Padman]

Do you also think people, because of the TV show, they don't know what you can do? They think, oh, you can read a script in a funny way. But they don't know about your background.

[Dax Shepard]

They don't know about the pedigree.

[Monica Padman]

Yeah.

[Lisa Kudrow]

They don't about my huge standup career before. No. And I did not have a standup career ever.

[Monica Padman]

But you were a groundling.

[Lisa Kudrow]

Well, some people know. They don't care because it's not stand up. By the way, have you noticed, to me, stand up comedians are so much more serious than comedic actors. They want to analyze comedy and pick it apart and talk really seriously about what they do.

[Dax Shepard]

Yes. I definitely think there's a strata of dysfunction that the Result is comedy. And I think improv artists are like a seven on that scale.

[Lisa Kudrow]

Right.

[Dax Shepard]

And I think standups are generally a 10. They get so to work out, and you're gonna sit here and listen to it.

[Lisa Kudrow]

Were you a groundling?

[Dax Shepard]

No, I didn't make it. I was in the Sunday Company for a year and was kicked out. I just recently got over that wound. I mean, truly, maybe like six years ago.

[Lisa Kudrow]

I was never a crowd pleaser. I don't even know how I got into the main company because I didn't do the kind of stuff audiences liked.

[Dax Shepard]

So I think it would be helpful for people to know. Within the Groundlings, when you're in the sunny company or the main company, you can be an inside favorite. There's always a couple people in the group that they're clearly the funniest by our definition. But that's not to say they kill the most. In fact, it's almost assured that you won't kill if you're the favorite among us. Whoever was the most offbeat and weirdest and most esoteric would make us laugh the night you'd put up all the sketches because it was refreshing and novel.

[Lisa Kudrow]

I don't know if I fit that category either.

[Monica Padman]

Who were you there? What kind of things were you doing?

[Lisa Kudrow]

I did your favorite actress on a talk show. It became a character I did in the Comeback, this HBO show, But I loved that character monologue. I loved doing those.

[Dax Shepard]

What about improv?

[Lisa Kudrow]

Yeah, but not game improv. I liked. I did this thing Transformers, where it's sort of longer form and you do a scene and then it gets silent. Whatever. I guess it's called miming to people listening who might not know, but whatever space work you're doing, it starts transforming as a group. You're all in sync, and you turn it from baling hay to a rodeo lasso or something.

[Dax Shepard]

Right, right, right.

[Lisa Kudrow]

And then your new characters, they were really good improvisers in that I was really happy I was the only girl.

[Dax Shepard]

Well, let's back all the way up. Mom was a real estate agent when.

[Lisa Kudrow]

I was in high school. Yeah.

[Dax Shepard]

Okay. And dad was a doctor and he specialized in headaches.

[Lisa Kudrow]

Yes.

[Dax Shepard]

What would that make him by training? Was it an internist?

[Lisa Kudrow]

An internist? Yeah.

[Dax Shepard]

I can only assume, knowing that you ended up working with him for so long. Were you guys besties? Did you have a great relationship?

[Lisa Kudrow]

Yeah, very close.

[Dax Shepard]

And you have an older sister and two brothers?

[Lisa Kudrow]

Just sister and a brother.

[Dax Shepard]

Oh, I got that wrong. Okay. Sister and a brother. And you went to Vosser.

[Lisa Kudrow]

Vosser.

[Dax Shepard]

Is that how you say it, Vasser?

[Monica Padman]

You made it fancier. I mean, it is fancy, but you made it.

[Lisa Kudrow]

Maybe back in the day they would say they went to Vassar.

[Dax Shepard]

Janine's going to Vosser in September, and we're thrilled about it. She absolutely aced her interview.

[Lisa Kudrow]

I was thrilled to go to Vassar. I thought, yes, I'm going to be a lady. Only ladies go to Vassar. And I get there and I find out, oh, these were like the wild ones.

[Monica Padman]

Really?

[Dax Shepard]

Really. What do you mean by that? Like the Kennedy type. People who partied and had yachts and stuff.

[Lisa Kudrow]

Very artistic and sort of rebellious and went their own way, you know, were not mainstream. It opened in 1861, which is start of the Civil War.

[Dax Shepard]

It was a women's college, I think.

[Lisa Kudrow]

The first to offer science for women to learn.

[Dax Shepard]

That's a science for women.

[Monica Padman]

Women should not be trusted with science.

[Dax Shepard]

No, that's a terrible idea.

[Lisa Kudrow]

So you already are going to have a lot of people who are sending their daughters there who are not in the mainstream.

[Dax Shepard]

Was it all female when you went there?

[Lisa Kudrow]

No.

[Dax Shepard]

When did it switch to co ed?

[Lisa Kudrow]

1969.

[Dax Shepard]

Perfect year for that.

[Lisa Kudrow]

So I think the first year of graduating class of men was like, 72, 3, 4.

[Dax Shepard]

Okay. And when you went there, you majored in biology. I presume you were going to be on a medical track.

[Lisa Kudrow]

Yeah, I was pre med.

[Dax Shepard]

So. Had you done any acting in Encino in junior high?

[Lisa Kudrow]

I did because I liked going to summer school. I liked having something to do, and I took a play production thing and we wrote sketches and it was so fun and I could do it well.

[Dax Shepard]

But why not stick with it in high school?

[Lisa Kudrow]

No, that is not something that if you're going to be an adult, you do. I decided.

[Dax Shepard]

Oh, right. It was too frivolous.

[Lisa Kudrow]

Yeah.

[Dax Shepard]

Okay. You also went to high school with.

[Monica Padman]

Easy E. Oh, my.

[Lisa Kudrow]

I did.

[Dax Shepard]

You went to the same high school.

[Lisa Kudrow]

What was it?

[Dax Shepard]

Taft? What was it called?

[Lisa Kudrow]

Yeah. How many years apart?

[Dax Shepard]

No, it's at the same time.

[Monica Padman]

What?

[Dax Shepard]

How could I be the one telling you this?

[Lisa Kudrow]

Because I don't know.

[Dax Shepard]

You don't know about yourself, do you?

[Lisa Kudrow]

I don't know myself.

[Dax Shepard]

You're gonna enjoy this.

[Lisa Kudrow]

I also don't know who that is.

[Dax Shepard]

You don't know who Easy. He is. This is so charming, too.

[Monica Padman]

This is great.

[Dax Shepard]

He's one of the members of N.W.A.

[Lisa Kudrow]

Oh, wow. Yes.

[Dax Shepard]

I'm disappointed you didn't know he went there because I was under the assumption he lived in Compton. Their hit Song was straight out of Compton. But he's going to school with you out in Woodland Hills.

[Lisa Kudrow]

Out in Woodland Hills.

[Dax Shepard]

Maybe he got bused there or something.

[Lisa Kudrow]

Maybe. I don't know.

[Monica Padman]

What's his name? Before, it was Easy E. That might help us.

[Lisa Kudrow]

I know. What if I go?

[Monica Padman]

Oh, yeah, Exactly.

[Dax Shepard]

I slept with him in 11th grade.

[Lisa Kudrow]

Okay, no help. But by the way. No. I had three friends in high school.

[Dax Shepard]

Who were they? Well, maybe you wear smarty pants. Like, what was your strata in that.

[Lisa Kudrow]

Your first year in high school was sophomore year, and for five minutes I thought, okay, I'm gonna try to be a cheerleader. I'm gonna try to be part of everything, the scene. So I went to all the rehearsals and I learned the thing for cheerleading squad. And then I didn't realize to try out that's in front of whoever shows up and wants. And I just went, oh, no. Well, now, no, I do not want to be a cheerleader. And then you have to run and be elected and you have to campaign. I'm out. Not for me.

[Monica Padman]

No, because you're shy.

[Lisa Kudrow]

It was too embarrassing. Nothing good is going to come of that.

[Dax Shepard]

You're very tall.

[Lisa Kudrow]

I am very tall.

[Dax Shepard]

I don't know.

[Monica Padman]

How tall are you?

[Dax Shepard]

How tall are you?

[Lisa Kudrow]

5, 8, 5, 7 and a half.

[Monica Padman]

It's tall.

[Dax Shepard]

It's not that tall. I take back my whole thing.

[Lisa Kudrow]

I look gargantuan.

[Dax Shepard]

No.

[Lisa Kudrow]

Next.

[Dax Shepard]

I just wondered if. I think sometimes it's rough being tall when you're a girl in high school and boys are like, five, four, they haven't grown and it can be hard.

[Lisa Kudrow]

Or you're an actress and you're the only tall actor.

[Monica Padman]

Yeah, yeah.

[Dax Shepard]

Dax, you and I are built for each other to be in a scene together. I'll make you look like tiny little girl.

[Monica Padman]

I know.

[Lisa Kudrow]

I just worked with Ray Romano, and I didn't know he was that tall because of Brad Garrett. But he's like 62 or 6 3.

[Dax Shepard]

This is a phenomenon. I've noticed it elsewhere. Right. I remember the first time I met Andy Richter in real life, and I went, what? You're 6 3?

[Lisa Kudrow]

But he's next to Conan his whole career. Yes.

[Monica Padman]

Oh, my God.

[Dax Shepard]

How tall do you think Andy Richter?

[Monica Padman]

He and I had to say 5 5.

[Lisa Kudrow]

Right?

[Monica Padman]

For sure.

[Dax Shepard]

Yeah. With heels. And that can happen. Yeah. Brad Garrett is a monster.

[Lisa Kudrow]

So he's very tall.

[Dax Shepard]

But Ray was on Parenthood, so I'm hip to the fact that he's probably six'one or two or something.

[Lisa Kudrow]

Sorry, six'one two. Yeah, yeah.

[Dax Shepard]

Six.

[Monica Padman]

Plus we'll get his exact 1.2.

[Dax Shepard]

Okay, so in high school you had three friends.

[Lisa Kudrow]

Four. Four.

[Dax Shepard]

You just had it.

[Lisa Kudrow]

Other friends.

[Dax Shepard]

Did you feel self conscious that it was only three now you just made it four real time.

[Lisa Kudrow]

I felt bad that I left out one of them.

[Dax Shepard]

Michael.

[Lisa Kudrow]

No, I'm thinking of the girls. There were four of us, so I had three friends. Wait, one, two, three. No, four. There were five of us. I am fun at a dinner party.

[Dax Shepard]

I've been to one with you. I doubt you remember your friends. I've been to one with you.

[Lisa Kudrow]

Which one?

[Dax Shepard]

We were at Adam Vennet's house for dinner one time.

[Lisa Kudrow]

Oh, my God.

[Dax Shepard]

With my ex girlfriend, Brie.

[Monica Padman]

Oh, so that was a long time ago.

[Dax Shepard]

20 years ago. Okay, tell me.

[Lisa Kudrow]

It was outside.

[Dax Shepard]

Yeah. At his nice big mansion.

[Lisa Kudrow]

Yes. And Jim Burroughs was there, was he?

[Dax Shepard]

I wasn't hip enough yet to have known who Jim Burroughs was.

[Lisa Kudrow]

And somebody showed up a little late with a woman. I don't know if you'll clock this too. Maybe you won't. But this woman who I just went, what the hell?

[Dax Shepard]

What version?

[Lisa Kudrow]

Why is this happening?

[Monica Padman]

Like, how does that exist?

[Dax Shepard]

Like, did it look like a sex.

[Lisa Kudrow]

Work versus just sort of high end? And then I saw that person a few years later on one of the Housewives.

[Monica Padman]

Interesting.

[Lisa Kudrow]

On a show. And I went, okay, interesting. But I can be sort of judgmental. And someone comes in, you're just like. Like riffraff, you know?

[Dax Shepard]

Yeah. Yep. Bogey is what we say.

[Lisa Kudrow]

Oh, you do?

[Dax Shepard]

My wife and I'll go, bogey, six o'clock.

[Lisa Kudrow]

Riffraff's a bad word, I think.

[Monica Padman]

Yeah.

[Dax Shepard]

Or you think it's got like a bad historical.

[Lisa Kudrow]

I think so.

[Dax Shepard]

Like racist or something.

[Lisa Kudrow]

Oh, God, I hope not.

[Dax Shepard]

Well, then what could be bad about it if it's not racial? I don't know.

[Monica Padman]

Because I know.

[Lisa Kudrow]

I've seen things.

[Dax Shepard]

Yeah.

[Monica Padman]

Words are canceled now we have to look it up and figure it out.

[Dax Shepard]

No worries.

[Lisa Kudrow]

Back then I saw it in an old movie where it's like, oh, they're an actor. All actors are riff raff. And then it came up in something else and someone was like, don't say that. That's a horrible thing to say. And I went, riff raff. It doesn't sound like really bad.

[Monica Padman]

It doesn't.

[Dax Shepard]

Okay, use we got Clarence. What's the origin? Everything's good. Oh, fuck. We don't care about that. It's not referring to any ethnicity or anything.

[Monica Padman]

Yeah, then we're fine.

[Dax Shepard]

My only memory of who Was there is you.

[Lisa Kudrow]

Oh, wow.

[Dax Shepard]

Yeah. I remember Bri and I driving home and we were like, I can't believe we met Lisa Kudra.

[Lisa Kudrow]

Oh, how fun.

[Dax Shepard]

Yeah. We couldn't believe we were at a dinner with you, to be honest. So I don't know, other than Bennett, who was there other than you, and.

[Lisa Kudrow]

Chuck Lorre was there too, I think.

[Monica Padman]

Oh, wow, Dax, you missed a couple of people.

[Dax Shepard]

I think this is a different party. How many times do you have dinner over there? Just once.

[Lisa Kudrow]

I don't remember that many times. Okay.

[Dax Shepard]

But. Okay, so for people who don't know, when you're on a set and you're filming the ads, if someone wanders into the scene, that's not background. Hired to be in the scene. Like you're filming on a sidewalk in downtown LA and everyone that walks back and forth has been hired. But if a civilian wanders in, they go, might go to three. Yeah, there's a bogey. They always say, there's a bogey, and that's a civilian that's wandered in.

[Lisa Kudrow]

That's wandered in. Okay. God, that's funny.

[Dax Shepard]

Chris and I are big on bogey. We got three bogeys. You're somewhere and you just think, oh, my God, some civilians have entered the wrong door or something.

[Monica Padman]

So unrelatable.

[Dax Shepard]

I don't think this. Well, I think everyone can relate to people being at a party that doesn't seem like they know anyone. That's all it is.

[Monica Padman]

Well, that happened here. So for Halloween, Dax, as a big hayride for this neighborhood. And he takes it all across the neighborhood. It's very sweet and cute.

[Lisa Kudrow]

Oh, that's nice.

[Dax Shepard]

Thank you.

[Monica Padman]

But two of our friends who have a baby, they came back early and they were sitting here and there were some bogeys, riff raff, that were just hanging out at the house. No one knew who they were for like 35 minutes. They were just chatting with some.

[Lisa Kudrow]

That would make me very nervous.

[Monica Padman]

Yeah.

[Dax Shepard]

And in their defense, it was a very permeable.

[Lisa Kudrow]

Please, let's hear their defense.

[Dax Shepard]

Okay.

[Lisa Kudrow]

And then my anxiety will go away.

[Dax Shepard]

We got a food truck and invited everyone to come to the driveway and have a hamburger on Halloween night.

[Lisa Kudrow]

You invited everyone.

[Dax Shepard]

That's right. But now there's a little bit of a permeable. Is that the right word? There's an impermeable border. Like, that's not an invitation to inside my house. That's the driveway where the food truck is. So it sounds like people decided, let's also get into the house.

[Monica Padman]

They crossed the line Luckily, I was.

[Dax Shepard]

Busy driving the hayride and I missed it, so. Okay, great. Okay, back to you and your friends.

[Lisa Kudrow]

I'm working on the in defense of the bar.

[Dax Shepard]

Hey, you invited me over for a burger. How was I know I wasn't.

[Lisa Kudrow]

Were people in the house? So they went in like other people are in. I guess it's inside and outside. I'm getting chilly.

[Monica Padman]

Yep.

[Lisa Kudrow]

Should we just go inside?

[Monica Padman]

Should we go inside where these other people are? This is clearly a haunted house situation.

[Dax Shepard]

There are probably bogeys too.

[Monica Padman]

Yeah.

[Lisa Kudrow]

You were there inside.

[Monica Padman]

No, I was out in the hayride. Oh. But two of our friends came back early because they had a baby. So they then later were like.

[Lisa Kudrow]

This was so weird, right? But they were inside.

[Monica Padman]

Yeah, they were inside. But they're allowed.

[Lisa Kudrow]

We were trying to say that. It's all fine. It's okay.

[Monica Padman]

It's okay.

[Lisa Kudrow]

No one meant any harm.

[Dax Shepard]

No.

[Lisa Kudrow]

Mostly it's good people in the world.

[Monica Padman]

Let's just keep telling ourselves that. Right?

[Lisa Kudrow]

And at some point, we're all gonna die anyway, and it's all gonna be okay.

[Dax Shepard]

Yeah. We'll laugh at all this in heaven. We just leave the house for two hours and the house is wide open. So people probably fucked in our bedroom.

[Monica Padman]

We're not doing that anymore.

[Lisa Kudrow]

Let that be the worst thing.

[Dax Shepard]

Did you pine for popularity? Did you care? Were you the kind of student that you had your thing? You were focused. I'm gonna be a doctor. I don't give a about all this frivolous crap. Or did you want way more friends?

[Lisa Kudrow]

No, that is how it was. Because junior high, I thought, oof, we're all supposed to be popular. That's supposed to happen developmentally. Right. See again why I'm not fun at a dinner party?

[Dax Shepard]

Because you want to get into the science.

[Lisa Kudrow]

Because I want to get into the evolutionary, like, behavior.

[Monica Padman]

You're a biology major. It's in your history.

[Lisa Kudrow]

Yeah. You're generous.

[Dax Shepard]

You and I would be cutting it up like crazy. Because that's all I want to talk about, too. I don't know if you've ever heard the show. That's all this is.

[Lisa Kudrow]

Yeah. Why do you think that happens? Right.

[Dax Shepard]

I must. No, I can't feel comfortable until I understand why it happened. Because then I can predict what's going to happen. That's all I really want to do.

[Lisa Kudrow]

And that. Yeah, is very important. Evolutionarily modeling, playing out scenarios, having a plan.

[Monica Padman]

The world is scary if we can't do that.

[Lisa Kudrow]

Right. Don't we all do that? No. Happy people do not do that, do you think?

[Monica Padman]

I don't know.

[Lisa Kudrow]

Yes. To just be fine with what is, and then something comes up, you'll deal with it. I can be that person sometimes. Very happy when I am. But today, I mean, I have to say, it's election day, so everything is just like, all right, what's going to happen? What should we prepare for? Oh, my God. Right?

[Monica Padman]

There's a level of intensity.

[Dax Shepard]

Yeah. There's. Looking for that baseline anxiety.

[Monica Padman]

Yeah. I can feel it walking around the world today like everyone's a little on edge.

[Lisa Kudrow]

Yeah.

[Dax Shepard]

Yeah.

[Lisa Kudrow]

Okay. Anyway.

[Dax Shepard]

Okay, so great. So I'm delighted to know that you didn't really covet that.

[Lisa Kudrow]

I'm going to focus on getting myself to where I think I need to be, and that is college somewhere on the east coast and not here in Southern California.

[Dax Shepard]

I relate to that greatly. And I also remember from Poehler's autobiography those moments you have in your teenage years. And for mine, it was literally in a mirror where I go like, okay, here's the situation. You're not a babe. I wanted to look like all these other boys. We're just going to bet on our personnel. Like a real. Let's talk about the game plan here. Those moments happen in teenage years. It's really adorable. I wish I could, like, see kids doing that in the mirror.

[Lisa Kudrow]

My head's full of 10 different things. You walked in today and I went, jesus, he looks so gorgeous. Oh, my God.

[Dax Shepard]

Thank you. Yeah, I think I'm way better looking for sure now than I was.

[Lisa Kudrow]

And it happens with men, too. By way.

[Monica Padman]

Have you seen the Substance?

[Lisa Kudrow]

No.

[Monica Padman]

What is it a movie. You gotta see it. Demeanor.

[Lisa Kudrow]

Is it scary?

[Dax Shepard]

No.

[Lisa Kudrow]

Then I will not see that movie.

[Dax Shepard]

Do you want us to just tell you everything that happens in it?

[Lisa Kudrow]

Not if it's scary, but it's about.

[Monica Padman]

Aging, really, Women aging and how they get sort of cast aside.

[Dax Shepard]

I'll just hit you with the premise.

[Monica Padman]

Yeah.

[Dax Shepard]

She's an aging actress. She finds out there's a thing you can shoot in your body, and then for two weeks you'll be your 20s self. But you have to return to your old self for two weeks. And you go, two weeks, two weeks, two weeks. And that's the substance that makes you young again. And of course, when she's her younger self, she don't want to play by those rules.

[Monica Padman]

She doesn't want to go back.

[Lisa Kudrow]

Is she back in time?

[Dax Shepard]

No. She takes this shot, she becomes young again for two weeks, and then she has to go through a procedure to go back to being old for two weeks.

[Lisa Kudrow]

Oh. And she says, no, I don't want to go back to being old.

[Dax Shepard]

You pay a heavy price for that and you end up kind of destroying your older self. It's very, very good and so feminist. It's nuts.

[Monica Padman]

But this whole thing of he comes in, he's gorgeous, he looks better, and we do that for men. We allow men to age and think it's attractive and it's. It's not the same for women.

[Dax Shepard]

I think you and I could have a conversation that no one was allowed to have about. There is an evolutionary reason for that. It's like, both unfortunate and it's not out of nowhere.

[Lisa Kudrow]

Right.

[Dax Shepard]

Dudes can have kids in their 90s. Look at some of our famous directors right now.

[Lisa Kudrow]

Right. Women can't and shouldn't.

[Monica Padman]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Dax Shepard]

We don't know that we have that awareness. So you gotta, like, fight through all that.

[Lisa Kudrow]

Cause it's not just about procreation anymore.

[Dax Shepard]

No. We don't even need each other anymore. Which is a whole new interesting dynamic.

[Lisa Kudrow]

Oh, my God.

[Dax Shepard]

And it's scary.

[Lisa Kudrow]

That's the chilling, terrifying thing, by the way. You know the movie here?

[Dax Shepard]

No.

[Lisa Kudrow]

Tom Hanks, Robin Wright, Robert Zemeckis. It's going through time. And they shot it and they could actually shoot the scene and then look at the playback of them as younger and it's ready.

[Monica Padman]

Oh, my God.

[Lisa Kudrow]

For them to see.

[Dax Shepard]

Whoa. And they wanted to make this movie for the rest of their lives.

[Lisa Kudrow]

Well. And all I got from that was this is an endorsement for AI and oh, my God. It's not like, oh, it's gonna ruin everything. But.

[Dax Shepard]

But maybe.

[Lisa Kudrow]

What will there be left for? Forget actors. But what about up and coming actors? They'll just be licensing and recycling.

[Dax Shepard]

We'll be watching new Brando movies.

[Lisa Kudrow]

Yeah. And then set that completely aside. What work will there be for human beings?

[Monica Padman]

Yeah, we've talked a lot about.

[Lisa Kudrow]

Oh, you do talk about that.

[Monica Padman]

Oh, yeah.

[Lisa Kudrow]

And then what? So there'll be some kind of living stipend for people. Exactly. You don't have to work. How can it possibly be enough?

[Dax Shepard]

Let me attempt to make a glass half full.

[Lisa Kudrow]

Look, I'm shaking. I know you are chilly in here.

[Dax Shepard]

Or are you cold? Are you cold?

[Lisa Kudrow]

Maybe. Feel free.

[Dax Shepard]

First of all, you're sitting on a blanket. Can I do this for you? Because I've done it one other time.

[Monica Padman]

Oh, yeah.

[Lisa Kudrow]

He, like, made you happy. Okay, I'm going to make a burrito. Or I'm just getting old and I need A Shaw.

[Monica Padman]

It gets a little chilly.

[Lisa Kudrow]

That's nice.

[Monica Padman]

He likes to wrap people in, like, a burrito.

[Lisa Kudrow]

Okay, so you go like this.

[Dax Shepard]

You can change when I leave.

[Lisa Kudrow]

Now I just won't gesture anymore.

[Dax Shepard]

Oh, my God. You look so cute. Like a baby.

[Lisa Kudrow]

Okay, this is great.

[Dax Shepard]

I just took you back in time.

[Lisa Kudrow]

Without AI and now you have 99. Put her to sleep.

[Dax Shepard]

Stay in your bedroom tonight.

[Lisa Kudrow]

Put her to sleep. This is a drag.

[Monica Padman]

This isn't working out.

[Dax Shepard]

Okay, maybe. This is crazy. Glass half full. And I think it's very honest.

[Lisa Kudrow]

Oh, please tell me the full part.

[Dax Shepard]

So you and I will have experienced. And I already know you have your arms completely wrapped around the experience, because I've heard you talk about it. I wrote down a quote from you today that said. Oh, let me just read it because it's so good. That's the healing power of fame. Everything will be fixed. Now you're talking about getting the dream, and your thought is everything will be fixed. Now.

[Lisa Kudrow]

That's the fallacy.

[Monica Padman]

Yeah.

[Dax Shepard]

Yes.

[Lisa Kudrow]

Right. Okay. Because you said, that's the healing power of fame, Right?

[Dax Shepard]

Suggesting, like, yes. That there would be a healing power of fame. It would fix everything.

[Lisa Kudrow]

And it doesn't.

[Dax Shepard]

It doesn't. But I think in that, for me, is the greatest gift I've ever been given, because I at least got to go, like, okay, great, that's not it. What is it? And it sent me on a journey of figuring out what it is. And if I hadn't been given the gift to find out it was lackluster or that it was empty, I would have never stopped believing that that would have been the fix. So currently, everyone in America thinks if I didn't have this job and I didn't have money problems and I didn't have that, I would be fixed. And so we'll give everyone that. You don't work, you don't have money problems. Fucking robots are doing every single thing. And then three weeks after that, they turn that light switch on, everyone's gonna be like, yeah, I'm miserable. Why am I miserable? And then we all start the path. That could be the outcome.

[Monica Padman]

How's that? Glass half full. That sounds so depressing.

[Dax Shepard]

Because everyone will actually try to confront the real angst of being a human, the real purpose. Other stories we've told ourselves that it's because we don't have this ski boat, we don't have this pair of shoes.

[Monica Padman]

It's an equalizer, that's for sure.

[Lisa Kudrow]

So what you're saying is, so people will be miserable. Be Miserable. But then what they're going to see is being here on this planet, in this life, is about something else. It's not about what I do. It's about who I love and who loves me. It's about connecting. It's about being part of a community. But a community doing what?

[Dax Shepard]

Well, meeting in the yard, I guess.

[Monica Padman]

Painting. It doesn't have to be for a result.

[Lisa Kudrow]

The domestic robot will do that better.

[Monica Padman]

Oh, it will be better.

[Lisa Kudrow]

The artist robots will do it better.

[Monica Padman]

You're right. So I guess it can't be about being the best. Takes that off the table.

[Dax Shepard]

I have a solution. Hiking with friends, playing pickleball, playing cards. Being social and enjoying the big gift, which is like other people, right?

[Lisa Kudrow]

But haven't you been on vacation? And after a week, energy. Okay, now what?

[Dax Shepard]

Well, because you and I are doing the same thing at the end of seven days. Like I'm a piece of shit. Cause I haven't been productive. And if I'm not productive, I have no value.

[Lisa Kudrow]

I don't feel like that.

[Dax Shepard]

Oh, you don't? What's your issue? Issue? You're just bored.

[Lisa Kudrow]

Yeah. Everyone needs an occupation. I don't mean the professional occupation. I mean purpose. You need something to occupy your time and you need to decide what's fulfilling and what isn't.

[Dax Shepard]

But again, we're so distracted by the immediate needs that are on everyone's plate. Make my rent, feed my kids, all this stuff.

[Lisa Kudrow]

But you're saying that'll be solved. And I'm saying I don't know what government can afford to solve that on a satisfactory level.

[Dax Shepard]

Currently we can't. We're just imagining a future where the robots actually do do every single thing and they grow the food and there's just a surplus of all things that are needed. And they manufacture phones, they build houses for everyone, you know. Okay, so that's where we're at. This is Yuval Harari, Homo Deus. It's all been solved. We're all a leisure society now. What? So I think, now what would be Great Depression for months?

[Lisa Kudrow]

Population decline.

[Dax Shepard]

Sure.

[Lisa Kudrow]

That's a terrible joke because it's not funny. If you or someone you know is contemplating suicide, get in touch with this hotline. Yeah.

[Dax Shepard]

Yes, that's right. In the show notes. So is that possible? Does it give everyone the gift of not needing all this stuff?

[Lisa Kudrow]

I'd need to see an episode of that. Maybe there was one on Star Trek or. A good writer is going to have to play that out for me to see. I'll get Back to you.

[Dax Shepard]

Okay, so now back to graduating. Going to vassar, integrated in 1969 for men, 1861 for females. It started. I just learned all this from you. How the fuck do you get into comedy? Did you know you were funny throughout? All that seriousness?

[Lisa Kudrow]

Yeah.

[Dax Shepard]

Do I need to relieve you from that?

[Lisa Kudrow]

I was able to do it myself.

[Dax Shepard]

Okay, good.

[Lisa Kudrow]

I'm like Harry Houdini. Somehow I was able to squirm my hand under the loose blanket.

[Dax Shepard]

It felt like watching Houdini for a second. That's why I offered assistance. I saw your hand moving around a ton under there, like, oh fuck, she's trapped.

[Lisa Kudrow]

I can't. I had a feeling. I need my gum.

[Dax Shepard]

Stay tuned for more Armchair Expert if you dare. We are supported by Audible. Audible's best of 2024 picks are here. Audible's curated list in every category is the best way to hear 2024's best in audio entertainment. Like a stunning new full cast production of George Orwell's 1984. This is the one I am most excited to indulge myself with.

[Monica Padman]

I'm so excited to listen to James, which is a new title by Percival Everett that is very, very hot right now.

[Dax Shepard]

Well, there's so many good ones on the list.

[Monica Padman]

We love Audible. This is how you go to bed.

[Dax Shepard]

I love Audible. I swear by Audible. I can't wait to listen to the Orwell 1984 off this list. I'm also doing Fleas by Autobiography right now, which I'm obsessed with. I can't get enough Audible in my life every night. Go to audible.comdax and discover all the year's bests waiting for you. That's audible.com Dax we are supported by Sonos. Sonos is the world's leading sound experience company. They invented the smart sound system that makes it easy to play anything in any room, which we love. Sonos was the star of our Halloween party. I had it playing outside by the guest house. I had it playing in the garden. I had it playing in the kitchen. Kept the party rocking no matter where you moved.

[Monica Padman]

It makes a big difference.

[Dax Shepard]

Yeah, the sound is so good. You really got to take your favorite holiday movies and holiday songs to the next level and experience them with Sonos. And with holiday gift season upon us, Sonos products are a perfect solution for that. Hard to buy for person on your gift list.

[Monica Padman]

They've got amazing Ace headphones and since you know we are podcasters, if you know any armchairs in your life, really smart, it's a great gift for them. So that they can really get us in their ears properly.

[Dax Shepard]

Whether you gift a sleek soundbar, a sturdy portable speaker, or our favorite headphones, your lucky gift recipient is sure to be impressed. Sonos has great gifts for everyone on your list. Visit sonos.comdax to wrap up your holiday shopping. That's sonos.comdax we are supported by Academy Award winner Alfonso Caron's stunning Apple TV plus limited series. Disclaimer I've watched this show and I love it. This show has an incredible cast that includes Oscar winners Cate Blanchett and Kevin Klein and Academy Award nominee Sasha Baron Cohen. You go on such a ride with this show. It's one of the most addictive and cinematic pieces of television you'll ever see. One reviewer wrote that it's a head spinning odyssey of emotion and tension that will grip you and thrill you. Who doesn't want to experience that? Disclaimer is now streaming on Apple TV plus and you can learn more at AppleTV Plus.com we are supported by 23andMe + Total Health. As the year winds down, we often spend time reflecting on what's important. Well, taking proactive steps to take care of your own health is one of the most loving things we can do for the people who love us. And with 23andMe, you can do just that. With 23andMe plus total health, you'll receive advanced genetic screening, giving you a lifetime of insight into your potential future disease risk. It can help lead to early detection and even prevention. It's a longevity platform that helps you be proactive about your health. With cutting edge genetic testing and biomarker analysis, you can create a health plan that is tailored just for you. As you know, I've been we're both in this study and I've been going back to 23andMe and ordering different results, which is so cool. It's all sitting there for me to do.

[Monica Padman]

Oh that's so cool because we've done it before and we really, really loved what we learned. Also do it as a family or like as a friendship. It's really fun to read. Get your results and you can read them together. It's fun.

[Dax Shepard]

It is advocate for your health today. Go to 23andMe.com Dax for your limited time offer. That's 23andMe.com Dax by the way, do you wear a lot of shawl collars or whatever? This would be Monica, this is a very cute look on you.

[Monica Padman]

It's a nice look. Yeah.

[Dax Shepard]

The fact that it's like pinstriped up Top and then straight. Yeah, it's very cute. Legend has it your brother's friends with John Lovitz.

[Lisa Kudrow]

Yeah, I grew up with Jon Lovitz. He and my brother best friends.

[Dax Shepard]

And he grew up in Encino as well.

[Lisa Kudrow]

Tarzana. And he was at our house all the time.

[Dax Shepard]

And he said, do you what?

[Lisa Kudrow]

I let him know after college, I decided I should try acting because I always was interested, but threw it away. After I graduated, I realized, wait a minute. Don't have any regrets later. I know you plan to get married and have kids and all of that, but you might regret not ever even trying, so know for sure why you didn't pursue acting. So I let Lovitz know after I graduated because he got on Saturday Night Live. And before that, I thought, oh, it's only a magical few that are touched. Certainly no one who looks like me. But I saw him just pounding away forever in college. He was a theater major. He wanted to be an actor. And, oh, dear God, how's that feel? So hard? And then he got on Saturday Night Live, and I thought, oh, it's his reality. I wonder if I should try. So I let him know, and he said, go to Groundlings. That's where I learned the most for acting. That's been the best preparation. I wasn't allowed to even audition because I called them and said, jon Levitz told me to call. Which may have been like, a fucking guy got onto Saturday Night Live, you know? Okay, well, when's the last time you performed or acted? And I said, junior high. And I said, great, we're sending you someplace else. Oh, see, Cynthia Sighetti, who taught improv, and she had a class she taught at the Coronet Theater.

[Dax Shepard]

Oh, no kidding. Where they do Largo now?

[Lisa Kudrow]

Yeah. The other person in that class was Conan O'Brien. He also was sent to Cynthia Sighetti.

[Monica Padman]

Oh, my God.

[Lisa Kudrow]

And by the way, I've told this before, but I was gonna quit. I went to one class of Cynthia's. Conan wasn't there. Everyone there just felt like, oh, not for me.

[Dax Shepard]

You didn't get a good vibe.

[Lisa Kudrow]

These are actor y people. I thought comedy would be less serious and phony. They were really overdoing it with emotional adjustments. I was like, this is just embarrassing. Right? This is like cheerleading.

[Monica Padman]

You've been embarrassed for people for quite a long time.

[Lisa Kudrow]

And I didn't wanna be part of that.

[Dax Shepard]

It's an embarrassing endeavor, to be honest.

[Lisa Kudrow]

Well, except in a great way. So the next week, I was like, do I go back? I should go. Just Go, come on. And I was a little late and they were already up there doing lift a disc or spaceball or whatever it was. Now throw it. And you're angry. Everyone's angry, Angry now people are throwing in there, like, grr. So embarrassing. And then there was Conan. I didn't know him. He was really tall, red hair, and he was throwing it and he was angry, but he wasn't making a meal of it. I got it. And then Cynthia said, good commitment. And I went, that's what commitment means. I can do that. And so I just made a beeline for him when it was all over and you know, like, hi, I'm Lisa.

[Dax Shepard]

Yes, we're going to date shortly.

[Monica Padman]

Pretty soon we will be dating.

[Lisa Kudrow]

Not really best friends.

[Dax Shepard]

For how long? You did date though, right?

[Lisa Kudrow]

Eight years. And then tried that for like after eight years of three months. And then.

[Dax Shepard]

No, that's an ill fated plan.

[Lisa Kudrow]

It worked out.

[Dax Shepard]

Well, clearly. But not in a romantic sense.

[Lisa Kudrow]

I mean, it worked out.

[Monica Padman]

We weren't supposed to be. They were meant to be.

[Dax Shepard]

Yeah, no, of course. I'm only saying if you've been friends with someone for eight years, I always have a hard time understanding that transition into dating. Obviously there's probably success stories.

[Monica Padman]

You think it's too friend zoned by then.

[Dax Shepard]

Yeah, just. That's an interesting transition after eight years. Like, generally your first kiss is quite exciting. Whereas opposed to, like, we've been hanging for eight years, now we're kissing. Feels a little bit awkward.

[Lisa Kudrow]

No, still exciting.

[Dax Shepard]

Okay, great.

[Lisa Kudrow]

Yeah. Because it's a completely different relationship and we're better as friends. So that was just a weird little blip. Blip.

[Monica Padman]

Because I can relate to that is so embarrassing. When I really think about the times I've done it, I feel like it's because. Well, first of all, I'm allergic to earnestness. I don't know if you have that right. It feels so cringy to care. But now I can see that as that's actually a beautiful thing that people care and throw the thing with such fervor, even though it's embarrassing. I can see that now as cool. Do you think you have that? I'm afraid to care that much. Cause then there's possibility of getting rejected.

[Lisa Kudrow]

No. If the praise is coming for grr. Like indicating anger or oh, I'm sad, I'm not buying it. It's bad, right?

[Dax Shepard]

You were like, bad is being rewarded.

[Lisa Kudrow]

The teacher is really just trying to make people feel safe and comfortable.

[Monica Padman]

Right.

[Lisa Kudrow]

And so for me it was, well, how will I ever be able to trust her, I'm going to think I'm great, and then I'm going to have horrible habits. I'm just going to become good at being bad.

[Monica Padman]

Right.

[Lisa Kudrow]

That's not what I am hoping to learn to do.

[Dax Shepard]

You need the truth.

[Lisa Kudrow]

And then I need an example. I learned best by example. So what does it look like when you're doing it Right. Because Robert De Niro isn't doing Spaceball or Lift a Disc right now for me to see.

[Dax Shepard]

And Conan was doing it right?

[Lisa Kudrow]

Yes.

[Dax Shepard]

He told the cutest story. I'll earmark that. I'm gonna save that. When you were on his show. Okay, I'll just say it now. But you telling him how thrilled you were to meet Matthew Perry and how hysterical he was, and you're going on and on about how special and funny he was, and he admitted to you when he interviewed you. He, like. I just started feeling like, well, who is this guy and why is he so. My Gene Cordero thing.

[Monica Padman]

Oh, sure.

[Dax Shepard]

Kristen and Monica love Gene Cordero.

[Monica Padman]

No, his name is Eugene.

[Dax Shepard]

I started calling him Mean Gene Cordero. That's not his name, but because I'm threatened by how funny he is. And they would just regale all the time how funny he was.

[Lisa Kudrow]

Okay. Yeah. Well, because Conan was. Was. I mean, he's always been.

[Monica Padman]

Yeah.

[Lisa Kudrow]

And that's not a lie. The funniest person I'd ever met.

[Monica Padman]

Yeah.

[Lisa Kudrow]

Ever.

[Dax Shepard]

Well, you stumbled into one who historically.

[Lisa Kudrow]

Will go down as one of their funniest people ever. Yes.

[Dax Shepard]

Of all time.

[Monica Padman]

You just ran into him at an improv class. That's so bizarre.

[Lisa Kudrow]

Yeah. And we'd go to parties like, well, he's the best to bring to a party because he makes everyone so comfortable. He's so hilarious. And he's, I think, one of the smartest people I've ever met.

[Dax Shepard]

That was my hunch, is. I bet, sure you were attracted to the comedic ability of him, but I imagine how brilliant he is is what really made you want to be friends. And eventually lovers, as we discovered.

[Monica Padman]

For three months.

[Dax Shepard]

Three hot, steamy months.

[Lisa Kudrow]

Five minutes.

[Dax Shepard]

You then started going through the actual program at the Groundlings.

[Lisa Kudrow]

Yeah, we got accepted into paying them money for the basic class. We were allowed to do that, but we weren't in the same class and everyone knew we were close friends. I always suspected that had something to do with if people thought there was anything good about me because I sort of had Conan's endorsement and he was already really respected. He was good to get in.

[Dax Shepard]

He Left, right, Third level.

[Lisa Kudrow]

He was in the advanced class. Is that called third level? I don't know. The advanced class.

[Dax Shepard]

I think it's fourth.

[Lisa Kudrow]

And from there you get voted into the Sunday Company and you do two sort of showcases. After that first performance in that advanced class, he and his writing partner, Greg Daniels.

[Monica Padman]

What?

[Lisa Kudrow]

Yeah. You didn't know that?

[Monica Padman]

I don't think I knew that. Or did I?

[Lisa Kudrow]

Maybe I thought, could we just do this whole thing about Conan? No. But they got invited to write Right. On Saturday Night Live.

[Dax Shepard]

Oh. It wasn't Simpsons first. It was Saturday Night Live.

[Lisa Kudrow]

Saturday Night Live. So they had to go to New York.

[Dax Shepard]

Wow.

[Lisa Kudrow]

And that's why Conan wasn't a groundling.

[Dax Shepard]

On this episode, we answer the burning question, why wasn't Conan a groundling?

[Monica Padman]

Wow.

[Dax Shepard]

How far into the main company before you got an audition for snl?

[Lisa Kudrow]

I didn't get an official audition. I was just told Lorraine Newman had seen me at the Groundlings and she thought I was good.

[Dax Shepard]

Was she a scout for snl?

[Lisa Kudrow]

No, but she let me know. She let them know to pay attention or come see me. They were coming out to look at Julia Sweeney, and I think she was letting them know look at her, too.

[Dax Shepard]

So you knew that before the show.

[Lisa Kudrow]

Before the show.

[Dax Shepard]

Did that make you nervous?

[Lisa Kudrow]

It made me nervous because that was going to be life changing.

[Dax Shepard]

Were you focused on being on snl? Was that something you wanted to do?

[Lisa Kudrow]

I wasn't gonna say no.

[Monica Padman]

But it wasn't your only.

[Dax Shepard]

You wanted to act and be in things.

[Lisa Kudrow]

I thought I should probably be on a sitcom. I mean, not much worked out getting any auditions or anything at that point at all. And Saturday Night Live was good, too. Duh, you know. Oh, my God. I'll take it. It's one of the coolest.

[Dax Shepard]

It's like joining the Beatles or something.

[Lisa Kudrow]

And I remember calling Conan because he was writing there, and I said, can you put in a good word or anything? He was like, no, because that's a different no.

[Dax Shepard]

It might make it go worse for you. That's the real answer.

[Lisa Kudrow]

Also, he may have known they're kind of look at Julia Sweeney. That's kind of the entire story.

[Dax Shepard]

So you didn't fly to New York and do the whole thing? No, they were in the audience.

[Lisa Kudrow]

They were in the audience. And I thought, I'm having. They're here to see me too.

[Dax Shepard]

Right, right, right, right. Were there any dudes that went to SNL while you were there?

[Lisa Kudrow]

No, but I'm usually wrong. I don't remember things well. I Just know.

[Monica Padman]

Yeah.

[Lisa Kudrow]

Julius Sweeney. That's all I know.

[Dax Shepard]

That's who went to SNL while you're there.

[Lisa Kudrow]

But I know because I was a groundling. I voted in Will Frell.

[Monica Padman]

Oh, get out.

[Dax Shepard]

It's so weird to think of him in the Sunday Company. It's almost like he's too much of a God to have possibly done that. Was he outrageously good as we came to know him on snl?

[Lisa Kudrow]

Yeah. That wasn't even a question for anyone voting. Everything you need here.

[Dax Shepard]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Lisa Kudrow]

Will Ferrell.

[Dax Shepard]

Okay. You're on Cheers in 1989.

[Lisa Kudrow]

Yeah, you are.

[Dax Shepard]

Congratulations. Did you know this?

[Lisa Kudrow]

No, I did, but I don't know.

[Dax Shepard]

What year Were you in the Growlings when you were on Cheers?

[Lisa Kudrow]

Yeah. Wait, was I? No, you weren't. That's why I got voted in. No, I was in a play, Ladies Room, that Robin Schiff, who was a groundling, she wrote. It was really successful. And then I got to be in a movie with Teresa Russell, directed by Sandra Locke. I got cut out of it, but it was not comedy either. And I got to audition for so many things because of a sketch. Because of that play. Oh, the play Ladies Room.

[Dax Shepard]

I don't know about Ladies Room.

[Lisa Kudrow]

It was a play, okay. Where you play at the Tiffany Theater, which was the Equity Waiver Theater in la, and it ran forever. And it was me and this girl, Christy Miller, who was also in the Groundling program and made sense.

[Dax Shepard]

Wait, Christie Miller?

[Lisa Kudrow]

Who's Christy?

[Dax Shepard]

Oh, not Kristen.

[Lisa Kudrow]

Christy Miller. And at first the characters were called Airhead one, Airhead two. We were a total of, like, five minutes in and out of the stage. Then the play is backed by Aaron Spelling and Douglas Kramer, and they give the characters names, Romy and Michelle.

[Monica Padman]

Stop.

[Dax Shepard]

Oh, come on.

[Monica Padman]

I was about to say Airhead one. Airhead two. Romy and Michelle.

[Lisa Kudrow]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Monica Padman]

So they made it later into the.

[Dax Shepard]

Movie, but years later, after Friends.

[Monica Padman]

So much later.

[Lisa Kudrow]

Yeah. Oh, my God. So much later. There's a bad. There's a bad pilot with Romeo and Michelle that Spelling Kramer made. It's not great.

[Dax Shepard]

Okay.

[Lisa Kudrow]

Cause I realized I kept saying so bad. And that's unkind.

[Dax Shepard]

Right? Everyone tried their hardest.

[Lisa Kudrow]

Sure, sure.

[Dax Shepard]

That's in between, I imagine. Cheers and Friends. You do two pilots between Cheers and Friends.

[Lisa Kudrow]

Oh, my God.

[Dax Shepard]

Congratulations.

[Lisa Kudrow]

That's before Cheers.

[Dax Shepard]

This is before Cheers that you made.

[Lisa Kudrow]

Up of either right before or around the same time. Because I knew one of them. I wasn't a SAG member. So you had to get two jobs. I had to Get Taft heart lead and then join or something like that. So it was Cheers and Romy and Michelle, but it was called Temporarily Yours.

[Monica Padman]

Wow.

[Dax Shepard]

Temporarily yours.

[Lisa Kudrow]

That's why I got into Groundlings.

[Dax Shepard]

Because you had done.

[Lisa Kudrow]

I was ready to hand it over to. I think because I was friends with Conan.

[Monica Padman]

I think it's because you were good. Can you not just take that?

[Dax Shepard]

I think you're a fraud. I'm with you on this one.

[Lisa Kudrow]

No, it's not that. I think I was bad.

[Dax Shepard]

Could you be misled by the fact that you were with Sweeney on stage?

[Monica Padman]

Yes.

[Lisa Kudrow]

I mean, I do know Piers thought, that's funny. But I was not a crowd pleaser with the growling audience. I wasn't doing like fright wigs and blackened teeth, you know?

[Dax Shepard]

Right, yeah.

[Monica Padman]

You were embarrassed by that.

[Lisa Kudrow]

I wasn't. I mean, I would have been. I did one sort of like that. If people can see your face one.

[Dax Shepard]

Time, you're almost throwing up, you're kind of holding back a call one time.

[Lisa Kudrow]

But I was trying to be clever. By the way, Pat Sajak had a late night show.

[Dax Shepard]

Oh, yes. For a minute. A talk show for a minute.

[Lisa Kudrow]

And he was going to start having sketches. And so they wanted Groundlings to come do sketches. So they came to watch a show. And the director of the main company at the time, I was smoking and I was going to go get cigarettes, and he goes, let me walk with you. I was like, I didn't think he liked me at all. All right. And we're walking. He says, so Pat Sajak, people were out here and they watched the show, so they liked Julia, of course, Sweeney. I went, yeah, yeah. He said, everyone does. And I don't even understand any of this, but you.

[Dax Shepard]

Oh, Jesus.

[Monica Padman]

Oh, my God.

[Dax Shepard]

What a Sweeney.

[Lisa Kudrow]

And he really did say it like that. Cause I remember thinking, manners at least.

[Monica Padman]

Yeah, sure.

[Lisa Kudrow]

But all right. I went, huh? I think he said, this is crazy. I said, yeah, wow, that is crazy.

[Dax Shepard]

Jeez. You know, having fun on stage is really contagious.

[Lisa Kudrow]

Yeah.

[Dax Shepard]

I skipped one part. And I just need to know because selfishly, I'm left handed. So a lot of the work. You did a study with your father for eight years, and part of the study was to see if left handed people had cluster headaches at an inordinate rate.

[Lisa Kudrow]

Close.

[Dax Shepard]

Okay.

[Lisa Kudrow]

Yes. And.

[Dax Shepard]

Yeah. You were born in 19. Yes. And also I was not.

[Lisa Kudrow]

Yes. And I could see how you might be confused with that because an 8 and a 6 have circles in them.

[Dax Shepard]

That's exactly right.

[Lisa Kudrow]

And that is why I was A fine improviser.

[Dax Shepard]

Very good.

[Lisa Kudrow]

Anyway, it was to see if there was any association between hemispheric dominance, right handedness and headache types. So it wasn't just cluster headache.

[Dax Shepard]

My understanding is that your right hemisphere controls your left hand.

[Lisa Kudrow]

Yeah.

[Dax Shepard]

So did cluster headaches show up more in the right hemisphere over the left hemisphere. Was that discovered?

[Lisa Kudrow]

No.

[Dax Shepard]

Okay.

[Lisa Kudrow]

It was just to see if people who were right hemispheric dominant had more cluster headache. But it was every headache amongst all headache types. But the answer was no.

[Dax Shepard]

Okay. That's what you found out. Now let me ask you this. Because headaches were such a topic in the house, it would have given me a self fulfilling prophecy that I was going to get headed headaches. Did that happen to you at all? I've been like overly concerned about headaches because this is like the primary concern of my father.

[Lisa Kudrow]

No, he was concerned, not concerned, but he was interested in headache because he got almost every headache type.

[Dax Shepard]

Oh, he did. What is the explanation?

[Lisa Kudrow]

It's a complicated explanation that has to do with if it holds. It's his theory which was impressive because he had the first working theory that it. It had to do with some damage to the hypothalamus. Mostly men had cluster headache and that the damage may have come from burning the candle on both ends was his theory at the time. But I don't think stress brought on the cluster headaches. I think it was a circadian or circannual rhythm thing for episodic cluster. And people who had it chronically all the time.

[Dax Shepard]

Could those people discover a pattern or were they completely random?

[Lisa Kudrow]

Well, the pattern had to do with the light changing.

[Monica Padman]

A lot of them are hormone related too, right?

[Lisa Kudrow]

Migraines, but not close to head.

[Dax Shepard]

Those females skew, don't they?

[Monica Padman]

Yeah, which would make sense.

[Lisa Kudrow]

And there are men who get headaches. Well, young men. And then as you get older, if I'm remembering it right, because I worked there for eight years, guys get older, their headaches go away.

[Dax Shepard]

They go away because my daughter. Daughters. Has a lot of headaches. I don't know about a lot. She has more than average.

[Lisa Kudrow]

Is she adolescent?

[Dax Shepard]

She's a woman. No, she's 11.

[Lisa Kudrow]

But there are hormones.

[Dax Shepard]

Yeah, she's 11 and things are starting to happen.

[Lisa Kudrow]

Sorry. No, I mean, I'm sorry. Yeah, yeah. Look at me now. It's like. No, no, I'm not. No joking. This isn't funny.

[Monica Padman]

Everything headache.

[Lisa Kudrow]

Come on.

[Dax Shepard]

I would have been happy to have a good time with you. But you brought up headaches. Yeah, I had them When I was younger, but I don't really have. If I have one now, it's very, very rare. And I'm so grateful because they're fucking miserable.

[Lisa Kudrow]

They are. But they've got good treatments now.

[Dax Shepard]

Yeah, I know people, they do injections when the shit hits the fan.

[Lisa Kudrow]

Yeah, there's those migraines, you know, like hemiplegic migraines or. I don't know, maybe they don't call those anymore. But half of the face or body gets paralyzed. And the scary thing is when it happens, you think. I think you got to get a brain scan because strokes happening, but it's not.

[Dax Shepard]

Whoa. Is like there's too much electrical activity going on.

[Lisa Kudrow]

My brother's a neurologist and he now is a headache specialist. And he had just explained it. And now because of my age, I don't remember what he said.

[Dax Shepard]

Right. But that's a joy because he can explain to you all over again. I bet he loves explaining it. And you'll love learning it all over again. This is very symbiotic.

[Lisa Kudrow]

I hope he does.

[Dax Shepard]

He does okay.

[Monica Padman]

How cool for him.

[Dax Shepard]

You said he's a man. Yeah, he loves to explain things. Trust me, as I explain this to you right now, I know the same tickle he's getting.

[Lisa Kudrow]

Oh, my God.

[Dax Shepard]

Meta. Oh, my God, we're the worst.

[Lisa Kudrow]

Like, cannibalistically meta.

[Dax Shepard]

Okay, I want to talk about this kind of interesting and sim.

[Monica Padman]

Like your life is a sim for sure. You meet Conan on your first day of. Do you believe in the sim?

[Lisa Kudrow]

What does that mean?

[Dax Shepard]

Simulation. Simulation.

[Lisa Kudrow]

Like maybe simulation. Right. What do you mean?

[Monica Padman]

Like, do you think you're living.

[Dax Shepard]

Do you think you have a carcass somewhere plugged into a computer and it's giving you this experience?

[Lisa Kudrow]

I do now.

[Monica Padman]

I mean, you, until today, you just.

[Dax Shepard]

Convinced that's all it took, is a simple explanation.

[Lisa Kudrow]

I heard it once.

[Monica Padman]

You've experienced a lot of one of one things.

[Dax Shepard]

I think if you have a lot of suspicious stuff happen in your life, you're probably more prone to think, like, what's going on? We don't really believe in the zen, but also 30%.

[Lisa Kudrow]

Yeah.

[Dax Shepard]

We play around with the notion that we're plugged in somewhere.

[Lisa Kudrow]

I'm processing everything you're saying and trying to figure how it's the same as the way I see things, because I do think that there's too much we don't know. So it could be. It could be God, it could be anything.

[Dax Shepard]

Something stinks.

[Lisa Kudrow]

I don't know if something stinks. I think that what stinks is that we require to measure it, see it, describe it, define it.

[Monica Padman]

We need to know, predict words. Yeah.

[Lisa Kudrow]

In order to accept it. When the one thing I learned from science and scientific method is there's more we don't know than we do know. So just because you can't doesn't mean it's not happening.

[Monica Padman]

Yeah.

[Dax Shepard]

We have the tiniest sliver of data. Really.

[Lisa Kudrow]

We're so limited in our senses.

[Dax Shepard]

We have these five. And if you really ponder it, if no one had sight and you didn't have sight, it's completely unimaginable. Nobody could expand their fucking imagination enough to imagine what sight is or hearing or taste or touch. So yet conceivably there's like 12 other ways to observe reality that we just observe.

[Lisa Kudrow]

That's what I think. There are things we can't explain that we've just known.

[Dax Shepard]

Well, let me ask you this. Have you had those moments? Because you've had a very exceptional life and you go like, well, how do I make peace with this? This is an abnormal amount of, you.

[Lisa Kudrow]

Know, of for me. I would call it like, more things I couldn't have imagined. Yeah, yeah. Well, okay, here's the thing. When there was no way I was going to be an actress and I was in college, and my plan even on graduation was I'm going to go to graduate school and study evolutionary theory. Not going to be a doctor, that's fine. I'd come home for spring breaks and I'd be driving around in LA and you'd hear on the radio a commercial for a new sitcom or a sitcom, and they're promoting it with their best joke. I have huge quote marks. I'm waving like a lunatic.

[Dax Shepard]

A pelican flapping its wings.

[Lisa Kudrow]

I'm driving along. And I'd hear that joke, which would just be like, well, that's what she said last time. And I'd think, oh, my God, why do they have to, like, hit it so hard? Can't they just throw it away? That's what she said last time. And then, and then, and then the thought was, lisa, please remember to throw it away when you do do it. Oh. And I went, what? I'm not doing that.

[Monica Padman]

Right, but you always were.

[Lisa Kudrow]

And then other things like that. I'd watch David Letterman and watch someone who was being very, very phony. You know, that's not the way they talked. Not really, no. I love that. I love that, you know, like that kind of thing. And I thought, oh, my God, Lisa, when you're on Letterman. Please try to be yourself. I'm like, yeah, what? Wait, when am I going to be on Letterman? For what? The latest evolutionary theory. Am I going to come up with some world altering.

[Dax Shepard]

The fifth tallest biology graduate from Vassar. Put your hands together for the fifth tallest.

[Lisa Kudrow]

I don't know how to explain those things.

[Dax Shepard]

I'm feeling very seen by the notion. And this is a terrible thing to admit, but it has been a great source of confidence for me. I watch stuff and I think, well, that's not very good. Maybe I can do it. So much of my. My propulsion has been seeing something. I don't think it's very good. So then I think, well, shit, then I think, maybe I could do it.

[Lisa Kudrow]

Oh, you think that's what I was experiencing?

[Dax Shepard]

Yes.

[Lisa Kudrow]

I don't.

[Dax Shepard]

You would go to an improv show and you go like, that's not very good. I have so much fear that I'm not good enough. But when I see something bad, it would weirdly encourage me and go like, no, no, this might be doable. And so you're hearing shitty acting on the radio and something in you tells you, I know that's not good. That's weirdly confidence building. Does that make any sense to you? It does, but you don't relate to it.

[Lisa Kudrow]

I don't feel like that was that part of me responding. It felt like it was someone else saying, Lisa when you do it. But it wasn't a voice, it wasn't anything else. It was a thought in my head. But to respond to it, like, wait, what are you saying? What does that mean?

[Dax Shepard]

Right.

[Lisa Kudrow]

Sometimes I just know what I know. Although now I'm feeling like an idiot.

[Dax Shepard]

No.

[Lisa Kudrow]

After talking to you that. Oh, yeah. She studied science and she, she thinks that something in the cosmos is talking to her. But it did feel like such a strong feeling that shouldn't rationally be there.

[Monica Padman]

Yeah.

[Dax Shepard]

And you kind of would listen to it, which is good.

[Lisa Kudrow]

I didn't. I rejected it.

[Monica Padman]

Yeah.

[Lisa Kudrow]

Until Levitz. And it was very practical. I'm 22, I don't have a mortgage, I don't have any responsibility. Now's the time to try that. And you don't want to have any regrets. I'd forgotten about those other things.

[Dax Shepard]

Now, this is a childhood question. Question. It's related to the truth and it's related to watching the people be phony. Now, it could be as inane as you're a younger sibling. I'm a younger sibling. My older sibling tried to deceive me all the time. Because that's how it works.

[Lisa Kudrow]

Right. You're the least competent person in the household, so you have dumbass. Right.

[Dax Shepard]

And everyone's getting something you're not getting all the time, and you want to fake it like you are. Do you relate to that observation, which is, it's very important to you to know what's real and what.

[Lisa Kudrow]

Ooh, I used to.

[Dax Shepard]

And do you think that's childhood stuff or just your biochemistry?

[Lisa Kudrow]

I don't know. Things shift and change in me all the time. What's important, Who I am, what kind of mood I'm in. Either very analytical or I'm very, like, you know, it doesn't matter. It's okay. You'll rise to the occasion. I feel like a different person. And Diane Keaton once said to me, a long time ago, something like, oh, I was 25. I was a different person. Like, well, don't you feel like you're the same person? No. I been so many different people.

[Dax Shepard]

Right?

[Lisa Kudrow]

Of course not. We've all been so many different people at different times.

[Dax Shepard]

Yeah. And if you like Buddhism at all, which I'm very newly into reading about. Yeah. We are a product of whatever context we're in. We're not even the same person. Throughout the day, you go to the grocery store and shit's popping off, and there's an argument over here, and there's some version of you that's there that's not the version of you at dinnertime later.

[Lisa Kudrow]

Right. Or just some important beliefs shift.

[Dax Shepard]

Yeah. Sometimes you care a ton about something, and then other times you're like, I don't even care about that.

[Monica Padman]

It's also good. You don't want to be so stuck in the thing you were saying when you were 16. We're supposed to.

[Lisa Kudrow]

Oh, yeah, yeah.

[Dax Shepard]

Not being married to all these cornerstone beliefs we think that define us.

[Lisa Kudrow]

Definitely.

[Dax Shepard]

Malcolm Gladwell says, hold your opinions loosely.

[Lisa Kudrow]

I agree with that, but what about core beliefs? Beliefs and opinions are different, aren't they?

[Monica Padman]

Values and opinions are different for sure.

[Dax Shepard]

Would I be right in guessing? The permanence of the role as mom is something unique. It feels like bedrock.

[Lisa Kudrow]

There's a higher order, something shifted in.

[Dax Shepard]

The list of priorities, and you can feel it's permanent. And you're like, oh, yeah, there'll be no wavering. And this is a unique feeling other than when you get a tattoo and you go like, okay, put it on. You go like, yep. Well, that's a permanent decision. There's very few of those in life.

[Lisa Kudrow]

Yeah. I don't have any Tattoos. I'll give you one, because I don't like permanent decisions. Except for my son.

[Monica Padman]

Yeah, yeah.

[Dax Shepard]

Okay. So I just wanted to point out this Jimmy Burrows thing, because this is another simulation Econ. You go to Cheers and a very cute conversation with you and Ted talking about you being there all week and just staying on set the entire time to learn what was happening. Yeah, but Burrows, of course, is directing that show, so you have some experience with him there. And then you get cast in Frasier.

[Lisa Kudrow]

Right. They made a mistake, and then they corrected the mistake.

[Monica Padman]

And what happens as a lead series.

[Lisa Kudrow]

Regular she was playing.

[Monica Padman]

Yeah, yeah.

[Lisa Kudrow]

You're set.

[Monica Padman]

Oh, you're Frasier.

[Dax Shepard]

Yeah, she original.

[Lisa Kudrow]

Remember, they made a mistake and then they corrected, like. No. So let's stick with Kelsey.

[Dax Shepard]

I mean, he's already established on the other show.

[Lisa Kudrow]

People love him. It was a funny idea. No, the Roz character, I mean, they, I think, had Perry Gilpin in mind when they wrote the part, and she and I were the ones that went to the network, and I just sort of changed their mind for a minute, and that was a mistake.

[Monica Padman]

They reversed course.

[Dax Shepard]

How deep into the process did you get before you were a placed a.

[Lisa Kudrow]

Couple days before shooting? I don't know. Halfway through the pilot week, for sure.

[Dax Shepard]

For you at that moment, career wise, he's coming off of Cheers. This is. This show's gonna work.

[Lisa Kudrow]

Right.

[Dax Shepard]

You must have been like, okay, back to the. Like, everything's about to be fixed.

[Lisa Kudrow]

Right.

[Dax Shepard]

What was the heartbreak of that? Was it devastating? How did you handle it?

[Lisa Kudrow]

I did think I might be one of those people for whom this isn't gonna work out. Am I? I am. Am I, though? I don't know.

[Dax Shepard]

How did you find your way back to some level of confidence?

[Lisa Kudrow]

Grief starts to wane.

[Dax Shepard]

Time passes.

[Lisa Kudrow]

Yeah. And I would just get up every morning and walk. And then at the end of the walk, I lived near Michelle Richard at the time. It was a great little cafe, and they had pin au chocolat. And I'm going to have one of those at the end of my walk. And as I'm out there walking, the sun is bleaching my hair, and it's getting a little lighter, so I'm getting some lighter highlights.

[Dax Shepard]

Beautiful.

[Lisa Kudrow]

And I just, in every way, lightening up. And I have friends that I'm talking to who are saying, like, oh, my God, you're leaving the house. That's amazing. To me, it was support and encouragement, like, well, you're doing great. Look, one door closes, another one opens. And then I think it's that one thing that I was told, that it's, then what else will you do? And I could always just go back to school, get caught up in whatever's happening in evolutionary biology, take whatever classes I have to take and just continue on that path. And that was never an option. I knew I wasn't going to do that and that this is really what I wanted to do.

[Dax Shepard]

Yeah. How long between getting fired again by Jimmy Burrows before Friends?

[Lisa Kudrow]

A year. I don't know. I'm bad with this.

[Dax Shepard]

Maybe people know this. I didn't know any of this. I find this really fascinating. So you audition for Friends and Jimmy Burrows is going to be the director, and your last experience with him was that you were fired.

[Lisa Kudrow]

Right. Yeah.

[Monica Padman]

That's scary.

[Lisa Kudrow]

And I really thought, I'm not his cup of tea. Yeah.

[Monica Padman]

He doesn't like me.

[Lisa Kudrow]

I'm not for him. How much of a say does he have and things Right. You know, and it seemed like, oh, a lot. Oh, maybe a lot. And so I had to audition. I auditioned for Just Jimmy. One of my auditions was in a room, just Jim Burroughs. And I'm doing the audition and he says, no notes. And I walk out going, that either means I give up, she's helpless, or it was perfect. I have no notes. And then it's, I'll find out soon. Oh, it doesn't matter. What can I do?

[Dax Shepard]

It's over.

[Lisa Kudrow]

Yeah. I don't know how many years ago this was. Less than 10, I think. And there's something for Jim Burroughs, like a special something. And I think it's even broadcast. And the six of us cast members are with him. That's where I think I said, like, yeah, well, I had an audition. Remember the audition we all had the.

[Dax Shepard]

Round with Just Jim, just Jimmy and everyone?

[Lisa Kudrow]

No, I didn't have that.

[Dax Shepard]

He took one look at a tape of them and they're like, oh, yeah, that's him. That's.

[Lisa Kudrow]

I was the only one.

[Dax Shepard]

It's a blessing you didn't know that until 10 years ago.

[Lisa Kudrow]

I thought, this is that crazy insecurity. You think he needed to see you because it didn't work out on the last thing. Yeah. It's just part of the audition process. Part of it. Everyone didn't calm down.

[Dax Shepard]

Yeah. You're talking yourself out of being crazy.

[Lisa Kudrow]

Yeah.

[Dax Shepard]

You're like, you're not even that important. None of this matters that much. You've made this something that's not.

[Lisa Kudrow]

And in fact, they did need to check with Jimmy.

[Dax Shepard]

You were spot on.

[Lisa Kudrow]

Is it all right. Because we think she's pretty good.

[Dax Shepard]

And then this crazy thing happens in the table read.

[Lisa Kudrow]

The table read for Friends did it.

[Dax Shepard]

Where he suggests you.

[Lisa Kudrow]

No, not the table read. One of the rehearsals for the pilot. For the pilot where Rachel is about to cut up credit cards, and we're all sitting around the kitchen table, and he thinks, oh, you know, it'll be fun. Lis, get under the table. What?

[Monica Padman]

Oh, God.

[Lisa Kudrow]

What? What do you mean? Go sit under the table. And I'm climbing down, and I'm just, like, shoving myself under the kitchen table. And I said, I can't see anybody. He's like, yeah, but it's funny. That's all right.

[Monica Padman]

Oh, boy.

[Dax Shepard]

And when I heard you retell us before, you're feeling right? Because I don't belong here. Yeah, you don't think I belong here. And now you're physically removing me, putting me where it's now visually obvious I don't belong here. Right. It was like a very triggering.

[Lisa Kudrow]

Well, yeah.

[Dax Shepard]

Confirmation that he hated me.

[Lisa Kudrow]

Oh, my God.

[Dax Shepard]

He doesn't want this to happen because.

[Lisa Kudrow]

One of the issues with the. It's like, how do we let the audience know why they're friends with her?

[Monica Padman]

Right.

[Lisa Kudrow]

Because she's so different. And I don't know that this helps that. So we do the run through. And David Crane, who's so nice, he's like, okay, that was good, Lisa, it's funny that you're under the table. I don't know that that works. And I'm thinking, he thinks this was my idea. Oh, no, no. It's thinks it's my idea.

[Dax Shepard]

On top of it not working. It was my bad idea.

[Monica Padman]

And now this is so stressful.

[Lisa Kudrow]

They won't be able to trust any of my instincts. Yeah, yeah. And then Jimmy says, no, no, that was my idea.

[Monica Padman]

Okay. Thank God, right?

[Lisa Kudrow]

I went, oh, thank you, thank you, thank you. He's like, we were just trying it.

[Dax Shepard]

This is a turning point.

[Lisa Kudrow]

She doesn't have to do it. Yeah. In his book, he wrote, like, she needed to trust me, so I needed to show her.

[Monica Padman]

Like, it was all calculated.

[Lisa Kudrow]

I don't think the whole thing. What do I know? Okay?

[Dax Shepard]

I didn't know anything.

[Lisa Kudrow]

I was the only one auditioning for him. The hell do I know? I thought a ghost from the past came to tell me to be an.

[Dax Shepard]

Actress for people who don't know. Jimmy Burrows is by all accounts the very most successful director to ever be in television by a landslide. Every show you ever loved, he directed either the pilot or the whole thing and still it's impossible.

[Lisa Kudrow]

Yeah.

[Dax Shepard]

Stay tuned for more Armchair Expert if you dare. We are supported by Addie I know.

[Monica Padman]

About Addie, the little pink pill, right?

[Dax Shepard]

Yes, that's right. Addie is the FDA approved pink pill, clinically proven to boost desire in certain premenopausal women who are bothered by a low libido.

[Monica Padman]

I love this. It's really nice that there's an option out there for women who are dealing with low desire and I like that. Addie's non hormone tonal and created by a woman for women. Addie is helping women feel like themselves again and that's really important.

[Dax Shepard]

It really is. So arm cherries. If your libido could use a little jump start, Addie's got you covered. Learn [e-mail] that's a D D Y.

[Monica Padman]

I.com Addie or Flavant is for premenopausal.

[Lisa Kudrow]

Women with Acquired Generalized Hypoactive Sexual Desire Disorder. HSDD who have not had problems with low sexual desire in the past who have low sexual desire. No matter the type of sexual activity.

[Monica Padman]

The situation, or the sexual partner, the.

[Lisa Kudrow]

Low sexual desire is troubling to them and is not due to a medical or mental health problem, problems in the relationship, or medicine or other drug use. Addie is not for use in men or to enhance sexual performance.

[Monica Padman]

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[Lisa Kudrow]

And fainting is increased if you drink one to two standard alcoholic drinks. Close in time to your Addi dose. Wait at least two hours after drinking before taking Addi at bedtime. Your risk of severe low blood pressure and fainting is also increased if you.

[Monica Padman]

Take certain prescriptions over the counter or herbal medications or have liver problems.

[Lisa Kudrow]

Low blood pressure and fainting can happen when you take Addi even if you don't drink alcohol or take other medicines. Do not take if you are allergic to any of the ingredients in Addie. Allergic reactions may include hives, itching or trouble breathing.

[Monica Padman]

Sleepiness, sometimes serious, can occur.

[Lisa Kudrow]

Common side effects include dizziness, nausea, tiredness, difficulty falling asleep or staying asleep, and dry mouth. See full PI and medication guide including boxed [e-mail] PI or call 844 pink.

[Dax Shepard]

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[Monica Padman]

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[Dax Shepard]

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[Lisa Kudrow]

That's right.

[Dax Shepard]

You gotta trust that he's right.

[Lisa Kudrow]

But he'll be the first to say it's just a pitch. 50% of them don't work.

[Dax Shepard]

Right, right, right.

[Monica Padman]

Wow.

[Dax Shepard]

So that was a turning point. And then things got better. And as you said, you grew to absolutely love him, right?

[Lisa Kudrow]

Well, yeah. Then he was so fantastic because I did this show, the Comeback and asked him to be Jimmy the Director. Because it was him.

[Dax Shepard]

Yeah, yeah. To act.

[Lisa Kudrow]

And he did it.

[Dax Shepard]

Had he ever.

[Lisa Kudrow]

He was fantastic. I think. No.

[Monica Padman]

Oh, wow.

[Dax Shepard]

He was himself.

[Lisa Kudrow]

Yeah. It was so great.

[Dax Shepard]

Now let me ask you this, because you do it so gracefully and it appears to me that you don't ever mind it, but it occurred to me there are things that I got sick of talking about. What is just your overall feeling about talking about friends.

[Lisa Kudrow]

It's a blessing.

[Dax Shepard]

Was there ever a period where you're like, please shut up about friends?

[Lisa Kudrow]

No, because I'm too grateful.

[Dax Shepard]

Well, that's nice, though. I should have been grateful for all the things, but sometimes it took me a while to be grateful.

[Lisa Kudrow]

That's all right. Okay.

[Dax Shepard]

You forgive me?

[Lisa Kudrow]

Well, I hope you do.

[Dax Shepard]

Are you going to fire me from the stable room?

[Monica Padman]

But is part of that because the experience itself was so fulfilling.

[Lisa Kudrow]

Yeah, it was great. We really did get along.

[Monica Padman]

It's that thing that you were talking about at Groundlings where you can read when people are having fun. That show is so special in that way.

[Lisa Kudrow]

We also worked hard at being friends. That six way relationship took some work and. And we did it.

[Dax Shepard]

What did that look like? Just like going out for dinners and.

[Lisa Kudrow]

Stuff or being social, really talking things through. If someone said something or did something, it didn't get too big because it was. Can I talk to you Usually not me. Because I had to learn to be. Can I talk to you about something?

[Monica Padman]

Yeah.

[Dax Shepard]

Yeah.

[Lisa Kudrow]

Because I never knew that was allowed, but I saw it modeled really well by Courtney and Jennifer and Matt. Yeah.

[Monica Padman]

Communication, like rule number one in any relationship.

[Lisa Kudrow]

Yeah. And respectful communication.

[Dax Shepard]

So knowing you were entering the situation where this guy was going to direct you, who had fired you recently, what was your confidence level going into that?

[Lisa Kudrow]

Cautious.

[Dax Shepard]

Now, this maybe is a rude question, but was it at all on your mind that you were the oldest member of that group?

[Lisa Kudrow]

Yeah, by a year.

[Dax Shepard]

I know, but in your 20s, that feels like something, right?

[Lisa Kudrow]

Well, I was 30.

[Dax Shepard]

Right.

[Lisa Kudrow]

30 or 31? 31.

[Dax Shepard]

He's like panic on your face.

[Lisa Kudrow]

Like 30 and a half.

[Dax Shepard]

Okay, okay, 30 and a half, right?

[Lisa Kudrow]

Yeah.

[Dax Shepard]

Oh, well, I can tell you I.

[Lisa Kudrow]

Do math very well because I was 94. May of 94. July is my birthday. So I wasn't 31, I was 30. Oh, my God. It's this kind of detail that is fascinating now.

[Dax Shepard]

It means nothing, but when you're 30 and this is your big shot and you've been chipping away and it's hard and you got fired before, the stakes feel so fucking high. You don't know at that point you're going to follow Seinfeld, do you? Or do you, like, do you know this thing's gonna be given the best shot imaginable?

[Lisa Kudrow]

No shooting the pilot.

[Dax Shepard]

Yeah, of course. They hadn't even picked it up.

[Lisa Kudrow]

Yeah, no, they hadn't picked it up. By the way, here's what a bad judge of Is a show gonna be successful or not? I was like, it's cute, right? I mean, it's not Seinfeld. It's sort of groundbreaking comedy. I'm just glad it's on NBC because I've got a recurring role on Mad About You. I gotta protect that.

[Dax Shepard]

Yeah. And you were playing your own twin. I didn't know that until today.

[Lisa Kudrow]

That's because when they put us on, they put us on right after Mad about you.

[Monica Padman]

It ended up being such a great crossover, though.

[Lisa Kudrow]

Okay, good.

[Dax Shepard]

We have kept it from you until this moment.

[Monica Padman]

I don't think we should.

[Dax Shepard]

You've done a great job.

[Monica Padman]

Thank you.

[Dax Shepard]

If Monica has a religion, it is Friends. Oh, she talks about it every fucking episode.

[Monica Padman]

Even yesterday I was thinking, I was like, are we gonna even talk about it?

[Lisa Kudrow]

Oh my God. What do you want to say?

[Monica Padman]

I don't know what to say because I don't think there's any way for me to really tell you how. How important it was to me. I mean, we have a Stanzi in there of Matt Damon and me.

[Dax Shepard]

It's Matt Damon and Friends.

[Monica Padman]

It was goodwill hunting and Friends that changed my whole, whole life. Oh, I had every episode VHS taped. I myself VHS taped. I had a color coded system. I had 31 tapes. Oh my God. The night of the finale, I had a AP test. The next morning. Couldn't care less about the AP test. Was up till like 3am watching the Letterman or whatever you guys did that night and rewinding it.

[Lisa Kudrow]

Yeah.

[Monica Padman]

Oh my God.

[Lisa Kudrow]

No. It was like a once in a huge. Who knew there'd be an Internet and then you can think about it and it would present itself to you again.

[Monica Padman]

Exactly.

[Dax Shepard]

You couldn't miss it.

[Monica Padman]

You couldn't.

[Dax Shepard]

Hence the Must see tv. You really, if you didn't see it, you're.

[Monica Padman]

There's never going to be something like that.

[Dax Shepard]

You're absolutely. Your life's over if your timer on your VHS didn't go off as planned.

[Lisa Kudrow]

Oh my God. Yes. What?

[Dax Shepard]

That was Sopranos for me.

[Monica Padman]

So special.

[Lisa Kudrow]

And it was funny. These people were really funny.

[Dax Shepard]

In anticipation of you coming, I was trying to isolate why I didn't give that show a chance. I simply didn't give that show a chance.

[Lisa Kudrow]

Yeah.

[Dax Shepard]

And I imagine it's cuz I was in my 20s trying to be an actor and something about that is something maybe I wanted. And I, I don't know, I. I have no explanation for why.

[Lisa Kudrow]

Can I offer something that would have been me had I not been on the show?

[Dax Shepard]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Lisa Kudrow]

Well, if absolutely everybody loves it, it might not be for me.

[Dax Shepard]

Thank you.

[Lisa Kudrow]

You think you're different. I've got a different sense of humor.

[Dax Shepard]

A thousand percent. There's first, why didn't I give it a shot? But then once it was off to the races, I could never join on late. I was too punk rock in my own mind.

[Monica Padman]

I was in middle school and I was trying very hard to be like everyone, right? Everyone was watching Friends and I think it was like, I like this thing that everybody else likes. I'm like Everybody else. And I'm also gonna like it. Times are chilling. I'm gonna like it the most. I'm gonna know I'm going to be perfect at liking this. Which I did do.

[Dax Shepard]

It's so true. I had the luxury of I looked like everybody. So all I wanted to do was be different.

[Monica Padman]

Yeah.

[Dax Shepard]

And Monica was different. And all she wanted to be is like everyone else. So it's like anything anyone was doing, I was out. I still have to tell myself, you're acting like you're 12 years old right now and it's okay to like something everyone likes.

[Lisa Kudrow]

Yeah. I only watched Everybody Loves Raymond during COVID There you go. And then I watched Big Bang Theory and. And went, oh, my God, that Sheldon's the best character I've ever seen in my whole life.

[Monica Padman]

Right, right. There's a thing about being in the cool club that gets in your way.

[Lisa Kudrow]

I don't know if it was the cool club. When I was on Friends, I wasn't watching anything. I was working and was the only one to get married and have a kid. Yeah.

[Dax Shepard]

Season three. You had a child?

[Lisa Kudrow]

Yeah. Was it? Yeah. We'd get together and watch the episodes and stuff. And then, like, what you were saying about you have a kid and everything shifts. Everything drops about 10 pegs on the list of priorities. Because it's that transition also into being a parent. I don't transition well, so it takes up a lot of my attention. And then also that was around the same time I started getting cast in movies while I'm doing Friends and am a mother for the first time. And it was just a little too much.

[Monica Padman]

That's a lot. Yeah.

[Lisa Kudrow]

So I wasn't watching anything. I was done with the what's groundbreaking comedy. And the other big shift for me, me was after 9 11, I'd be driving back from Warner Brothers.

[Dax Shepard]

Oh, that was.

[Lisa Kudrow]

Yeah, we were at Warner Brothers. And people used to stop at a stoplight and go, hey, you know, look at you.

[Dax Shepard]

Look at you. Look at yourself in the mirror. It's you.

[Lisa Kudrow]

And after 9 11, I don't know why this always makes me want to cry too. They'd pull up and I'd look over and they're looking at me. And they weren't like, eh, they just met. Thank you.

[Dax Shepard]

Oh, wow.

[Lisa Kudrow]

Like, very somberly. And that's when it really sunk in. I couldn't watch CNN anymore. Cause all it was was who died, who was in New York, who was near the towers. Who was in the towers. Everyone knew someone in the towers. And I Had this weird dissociated event. I was watching Will and Grace and I went, oh, yeah. Oh, thank God. I went, oh, wait, but it's in New York. Oh, God, who did they know in the Towers? And then went, oh, no, no, I'm in TV. I know they shot this before 9 11, so it hasn't happened yet.

[Dax Shepard]

And it says.

[Lisa Kudrow]

And then I went, no, this isn't real. It will have never happened here. And it was like, oh, thank God.

[Monica Padman]

Thank God I can go somewhere if that didn't happen.

[Lisa Kudrow]

And that's when any kind of comedy snobbery, any of that melted away forever. Because entertainment is important and it's providing a huge mental health service, and it is important.

[Dax Shepard]

I agree. Having done some things that weren't my comedic tone and to see how appreciated there are by people and recognizing like, oh, no, everyone's entitled to laugh. Everyone deserves a laugh. There's no hierarchy. There's no great comedy and bad comedy. If you make people laugh, that's it.

[Lisa Kudrow]

And also, why did I want to do this anyway? For me, no, because when people are laughing and enjoying themselves, it's something you're doing. That's what the thrill is.

[Dax Shepard]

Sorry to keep going, like, trauma style. But additionally, for me, that's when I'm safe. If all the men in the room are laughing at me, no one wants to fight. No one's hitting anybody. We're at peak safety when everyone's laughing.

[Lisa Kudrow]

That's the personal level, too, for me.

[Dax Shepard]

Probably as hard to see it as a gift, But I think it's really hard to understand the integration your stuff has in people's life. It's too abstract. I don't even know that it's even healthy to know it. But to be given that moment at the light that weirdly, is kind of helpful in computing, what it really means.

[Lisa Kudrow]

Yeah.

[Dax Shepard]

You're not at work feeling special. You're like, oh, let's go out and save the world tonight.

[Lisa Kudrow]

No, but we were always aware there's the task at hand. We got sort of over. Over Publicized. What is overexposed?

[Dax Shepard]

Yeah. Saturated.

[Lisa Kudrow]

I couldn't think of overexposed.

[Dax Shepard]

Yeah, that's all right. You got there.

[Monica Padman]

You got there pretty quickly.

[Lisa Kudrow]

Actually.

[Dax Shepard]

You're being a little hard on yourself. It took about one second.

[Lisa Kudrow]

It should have taken fraction.

[Dax Shepard]

You know what it is? I think your obligation is you do want to honor those people, and part of how you honor them is accept what they're telling you.

[Lisa Kudrow]

Yes. Also, we were overexposed. Everyone was excited at the network, at the studio. We were on every talk show. And so then it just became the joke. Matthew Perry was the first one who said, like, we feel like we need to get the word out that we're on.

[Monica Padman]

Yeah, yeah.

[Lisa Kudrow]

Which was insane. Right? And so then we were asked to do some commercial or something else, and we just went, we're so overexposed, and how are we going to fix this? And then it was, we don't need to fix it. They're still watching the show. We just need to focus on the task at hand, which is doing this show and. And doing it the best we can. And the writers and producers feel the same way. And there were conversations just about. I don't know, is this getting a little too weird? You know, like, with the writing, but everyone just got refocused on make it good. Yeah.

[Dax Shepard]

Don't forget what this is all about. Being great at that taping. Let me just scan here.

[Lisa Kudrow]

Okay. I'm getting shaky. It's too much energy. I'm talking too much. No, I'm, like, convulsing.

[Monica Padman]

Is it the nicotine?

[Dax Shepard]

No, she hasn't had nearly enough, is my argument. Yeah, you need to steady yourself.

[Lisa Kudrow]

Well, I can't shoe and talk.

[Dax Shepard]

Yeah, you can.

[Monica Padman]

Yeah, do it. We edit.

[Lisa Kudrow]

Okay. Come on. Now I'm gonna be really rude.

[Dax Shepard]

While you reload, I'm gonna go pee.

[Lisa Kudrow]

Pee.

[Dax Shepard]

Is that okay?

[Lisa Kudrow]

Yeah, potty.

[Monica Padman]

Right there.

[Dax Shepard]

You want to get out of here?

[Lisa Kudrow]

I want to pee at some point.

[Monica Padman]

Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Lisa Kudrow]

No, go ahead. That would be so weird.

[Monica Padman]

We didn't have a door on that for many, many, many years. It was wide open. So you got the door.

[Lisa Kudrow]

Why do I feel like I was here before?

[Monica Padman]

You've never done it. To our chagrin.

[Lisa Kudrow]

No.

[Monica Padman]

The guy who used to live here was a big Scientologist, and he had a podcast.

[Dax Shepard]

No, his daughter lived up here.

[Lisa Kudrow]

Not the. And she had a podcast.

[Monica Padman]

Yeah, she did. She had a cat podcast.

[Lisa Kudrow]

I'm just remembering doing a podcast. And it was, yeah, you can use the bathroom. And it's like, this is a curtain.

[Monica Padman]

This is deja vu. Oh, ours wasn't a curtain. It had nothing.

[Lisa Kudrow]

A precognition. That's right. Of post cognition.

[Monica Padman]

Like your cosmic voice that told you.

[Lisa Kudrow]

I feel like an idiot.

[Monica Padman]

No. What do you mean?

[Lisa Kudrow]

I do believe. Sometimes things just. We believe themselves known to you, obviously.

[Monica Padman]

You resisted it for so long, and this is your life. It's not a weird thing to think it's added up to being.

[Lisa Kudrow]

I mean, having bad things happen that you can't Explain. And. Come on.

[Monica Padman]

That's when we talk about the sim. I think that all the time. Even this.

[Dax Shepard]

You want to go for real?

[Monica Padman]

Yeah. Go to the bathroom.

[Lisa Kudrow]

Yeah. It's too much.

[Dax Shepard]

I'll tuck you back in.

[Lisa Kudrow]

Oh, oh, but this has to come off.

[Monica Padman]

Yeah. You'll take that guy off.

[Lisa Kudrow]

Oh, my God. I'm out of my mind. Talking for me.

[Dax Shepard]

Are you an introvert or an extrovert?

[Monica Padman]

No, you're not talking.

[Dax Shepard]

You're talking enough.

[Lisa Kudrow]

Why did these pants?

[Dax Shepard]

Get your head straight in there and come out and talk more.

[Lisa Kudrow]

Oh, my God, that was so long. I'm pee.

[Dax Shepard]

Did it overflow from the toilet? Sometimes I wonder if it will.

[Lisa Kudrow]

Do you ever?

[Dax Shepard]

Sometimes. Especially doing this. I rarely. Like, that's actually a sign to you that I feel comfortable around you. Because generally I'll sit here and be miserable. And then the guest leaves and I've peed for three minutes where I'm like, oh, my God, I cannot believe it.

[Lisa Kudrow]

At like 5 or 10.

[Dax Shepard]

That was under 60, I think.

[Lisa Kudrow]

Wouldn't it be funny if I thought. I think that was about 10 minutes.

[Dax Shepard]

I would be a little nervous.

[Monica Padman]

Sticks with the shakiness. We might need to get you to your brother.

[Lisa Kudrow]

Oh, my God.

[Dax Shepard]

Yeah. Can I just call your brother really quick?

[Monica Padman]

Do a little pet scam. That's so cool that he followed in the family footsteps and became a neurologist. That's very fancy. That's like Vosser.

[Dax Shepard]

Just like Vosser. He must have gone to Vosser.

[Lisa Kudrow]

Everyone at Vassar when I was there was like, yeah, I didn't get into Yale.

[Dax Shepard]

I have just a few more questions.

[Monica Padman]

Oh, no.

[Dax Shepard]

Sorry about this. And then we're moving on to your new show. Oh, bear with me.

[Lisa Kudrow]

I was like, I wonder if maybe we don't.

[Dax Shepard]

No, we're going to talk about that, actually. Cuz I love.

[Lisa Kudrow]

This is just chitchat.

[Dax Shepard]

I genuinely love it.

[Monica Padman]

We like to chitchat.

[Dax Shepard]

One question is there are some people that get famous and they had some training, they have some experience being the most popular person in school. And then there's introverts that get famous. And I think it's a little bit different of an experience. There's no prior experience where it's like, yeah, everywhere I go, everyone wants to say hi to me. It's very foreign.

[Lisa Kudrow]

Interesting.

[Dax Shepard]

Let's take Matthew McConaughey, who I love. He's so comfortable being famous. But guess what? He has been famous since he was born. He was little Mr. Texas. We found out. Really? And every girl liked him in School. He had a lot of training.

[Lisa Kudrow]

Okay.

[Dax Shepard]

To be kind of adored.

[Monica Padman]

And people are looking at him all, yeah, he's hot.

[Dax Shepard]

So by the time it happens, he's kind of had some practice. And then you take other people that were like, I'm hesitant to say this, but I'll give the example of Edward Norton. He was a genius book, and now he's the most popular guy in the world. It's a much different new experience, I think, for some people than others. How did that transition for you feel when all of a sudden you were, like, one of the six most popular.

[Monica Padman]

People in America globally?

[Dax Shepard]

Was there, like, dissonance and disconnect from it?

[Lisa Kudrow]

Yeah, it's everything. That was the beginning of online chat stuff. And I could actually go on a computer and read what people are saying and how they're criticizing. Well, two of the three girls are cute. You know, like a lot of that stuff too. And went, oh, okay, this won't help me. Yeah, be good on the show. So I just immediately stopped.

[Monica Padman]

You were smart enough to know. I'm not looking at that.

[Lisa Kudrow]

Because there were some good things, too, that I didn't necessarily agree with.

[Monica Padman]

Right.

[Lisa Kudrow]

Just rationally thought, none of this needs to be taken to heart or too seriously. Very nice. When people appreciate what I. I do, not everyone will. Okay. That was pretty intact.

[Dax Shepard]

Yeah. It takes some people decades to. Or never come to that. Oh, yeah. Or never.

[Lisa Kudrow]

I do not need to know what people think.

[Dax Shepard]

Na. We say what people think of you is none of your business.

[Lisa Kudrow]

That's such a great segue.

[Dax Shepard]

I mean, it's kind of true.

[Lisa Kudrow]

It is none of my business. But what I have found is it depends on. Mood isn't even the right word. It's like a frame of mind. And I couldn't even define what that frame of mind is, but I can watch the same thing and think, that was funny. Oh, good. And then another day, the same thing. And say, why did I think that was good? How have you been getting away? Oh, you fraud. With doing this for so long. Oh, my God.

[Monica Padman]

Yeah.

[Dax Shepard]

Right? It's exact same footage.

[Monica Padman]

Yeah. Again, it has nothing to do with what you've done. It's everything to do with what you feel.

[Lisa Kudrow]

Well, also, if I'm doing a character and I see a glimpse of me, and mostly there's a lot of me in everything I do.

[Monica Padman]

Yeah.

[Lisa Kudrow]

But I can tell the difference. If I watch the comeback, I have no problem watching that. That's a different human being from me. I'm proud of it. It's all Good friends sometimes, like, uh, oh, you just did a voice. Basically, that wasn't acting. That wasn't anything. It was just like, I don't know what, what. And then I don't want to shit on it because people like it. And I'm not saying you're an idiot for liking it or anything. It's just for me, it's. What I tried to do is out of respect. Not even just for me, but for people who do like that, honoring the whole thing. Okay, so can you forgive yourself? You didn't think you were so great.

[Dax Shepard]

Oh, my God.

[Lisa Kudrow]

At the acting. It was good enough for a lot of people and couldn't just do that.

[Dax Shepard]

Can you forgive yourself? Is like.

[Lisa Kudrow]

And then the answer is, well, of course I can.

[Dax Shepard]

It's so hard, though, to forgive yourself, isn't it?

[Lisa Kudrow]

But don't you forgive everyone? I mean, performance wise, someone will have just a moment in a performance and I'll go, oh, well, I forgive it because the rest of it is so great. Oh, my God.

[Monica Padman]

Yep.

[Dax Shepard]

I am ultra aware of those things.

[Lisa Kudrow]

The big thing for me now is. I don't even know if I should say it out loud.

[Dax Shepard]

Of course you should.

[Lisa Kudrow]

Can I forgive myself for not having some work on that face? Can I forgive myself for getting older?

[Dax Shepard]

Oh, wow, really?

[Lisa Kudrow]

And not doing something about it? Cause I watch him like, they've got a jawline. Am I supposed to have a jawline?

[Dax Shepard]

Did I do this wrong?

[Lisa Kudrow]

Like, even into my 60s, that thing that comes up is, wait, should I. Am I supposed to. Are you allowed?

[Dax Shepard]

Is everyone but me doing this? Right. That's the thought I have.

[Lisa Kudrow]

Everyone but me seems to be doing this. So, yeah, yeah, yeah. Am I allowed? Should I. Am I allowed not to? Or is it gonna be so putting? It's going to affect people's experience?

[Monica Padman]

Interesting.

[Lisa Kudrow]

Watching me, I'm trying to be practical about it because clearly I haven't. Oh, my God.

[Monica Padman]

Here we go.

[Dax Shepard]

I think you look exquisite.

[Monica Padman]

You look exquisite. You do.

[Dax Shepard]

Again, call your husband. Let's go to the bathroom.

[Monica Padman]

Meet me in the bathroom.

[Lisa Kudrow]

He won't let me do anything.

[Monica Padman]

He likes your face as your face.

[Lisa Kudrow]

He won't let me.

[Monica Padman]

It's so crazy how we see ourselves and how other people see us. Because obviously we look at you and I'm with your husband. I'm like, don't mess with it. It's great. But I also. I look in the mirror and I'm like, okay, I did. I got chin filler. You start looking and you're like, okay, I think I Can start just rearranges a little bit. Just a tiny bit. And then you do it and you're like, I like it.

[Dax Shepard]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Lisa Kudrow]

Well, I did get Botox.

[Monica Padman]

Yeah, sure. At age 60.

[Lisa Kudrow]

At 60, for the first time, I went to the doctor and he's like, wait a minute, I've never checked the box for first time in la. You're unique. And then I hear unique is a euphemism for idiot.

[Dax Shepard]

Okay, sure. But I really relate to, like, this bizarre zone your brain goes into where you go in some weird way. Am I not being professional?

[Lisa Kudrow]

Yes.

[Dax Shepard]

I signed up to be a fucking actor. I gotta be pleasing to people to look at.

[Lisa Kudrow]

Do I have a job?

[Dax Shepard]

Am I acting like that's not part of my job, that I'm above this? And I look at peers and I go, yeah, they're doing what you're supposed to do. It's a very entangled experience.

[Lisa Kudrow]

Well, another part of me wants people to then just get used to me. Older, of course.

[Dax Shepard]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Monica Padman]

I was gonna say, do you have pride? On the other end of it is pride, like, I haven't done anything, guys. That's cool.

[Lisa Kudrow]

It's. I'm walking through this. I'm proud. It's not because I don't judge anyone for doing it. I get it. And a lot of people look fantastic. Sure. But I also am afraid that if it doesn't heal right.

[Monica Padman]

Yeah, it's scary.

[Lisa Kudrow]

I look older and not like you.

[Dax Shepard]

Yeah, Older and up. I think it's more complicated than people give it credit. They're just evaluating it in terms of vanity, which is fair. Some of it's vanity, but some of it's also like, you know, you do certain things. If you're a pilot, you get Lasik. There's things that people do, and you have this occupation. Your face is the job.

[Monica Padman]

But what's the obligation for people to see us as young? Why is that young?

[Lisa Kudrow]

It's maintained.

[Monica Padman]

Interesting.

[Lisa Kudrow]

Because once there's work that is not trying to make you look 20, AI can do that for me, but it's just making you look looked after, cared for, kept up. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Dax Shepard]

I've got some stuff in my fridge. Let's play with some injections before you go.

[Lisa Kudrow]

Yeah. I'm gonna give you a chance to. Safest thing to do.

[Dax Shepard]

I'm gonna give you some injections and then give you a tattoo.

[Lisa Kudrow]

I think this surgery.

[Dax Shepard]

Husband says, how was the podcast? You go, I don't know what happened.

[Lisa Kudrow]

I don't know what happened.

[Dax Shepard]

I'm A new person.

[Monica Padman]

He's like, what's going on with your jaw?

[Lisa Kudrow]

It felt like it was okay for some reason.

[Dax Shepard]

So I think it's his height. I just trusted him. I have no other explanation.

[Lisa Kudrow]

It's very commanding.

[Dax Shepard]

Okay. Another question I had is when it became so publicized how much money you guys were making, did you witness. Witness any impact on your interpersonal relationships? And that being so public, was there fallout from that? So again, I think that's another one that's like, it's probably more complicated than people would fantasize about.

[Lisa Kudrow]

Family and friends. No, I think it was always, if you're going to be an actor, the hope is that you make enough to.

[Dax Shepard]

Not do another job.

[Lisa Kudrow]

This was like, the show's really good and you're good, but this is winning a lottery. That's how it was sort of looked at, but you mean like asking for money and doing stuff? If it did, I'm not remembering or it's not registering to me. The only. There were. I don't remember what I was even going to say.

[Dax Shepard]

Okay.

[Lisa Kudrow]

Because I thought of one thing, then another thing knocked it out and then. But there was something. Damn.

[Dax Shepard]

Maybe on your next trip.

[Lisa Kudrow]

Okay, hey, I know what it.

[Dax Shepard]

Okay.

[Lisa Kudrow]

The thing is, I think for all of us, and especially at that time. Right. It's like 20 years ago. That's when it was money being the.

[Dax Shepard]

Last two years published that.

[Lisa Kudrow]

Yeah, yeah. That It's. I don't want people to know that. And for me, the biggest impact was at my son's schools. As he was getting older, our society was moving into what's privileged class, where the other people in his school had assumptions about his family. Basically on what's been known, public knowledge.

[Dax Shepard]

Yeah. You guys fly private to Aspen on Christmas, right. And that's that.

[Lisa Kudrow]

Not once, but. Right.

[Dax Shepard]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Lisa Kudrow]

And also what they didn't know was that some of their other classmates.

[Dax Shepard]

Families were billionaires.

[Lisa Kudrow]

Billionaires.

[Dax Shepard]

Yeah. Right, right.

[Monica Padman]

Yeah.

[Lisa Kudrow]

But it's not known. My son's getting a lot of. For being privileged. And then it was, hey, cool, I thought you'd get a new car. You got the old soccer mom car. Yeah.

[Dax Shepard]

I wonder if you felt a discernible lack of compassion towards you at any point because you were just known to have all this money. Who the fuck's gonna ever feel bad for you again because you have all this money.

[Lisa Kudrow]

Sure. And I mean, I don't need anyone feeling bad for me. Let's say that.

[Dax Shepard]

Well, I like compassion.

[Lisa Kudrow]

Okay.

[Dax Shepard]

Yeah. When I'm going through a hard Time. The people that I've loved and been there for, I would want them to be there.

[Lisa Kudrow]

Yes. Oh, I know what you're saying. Sometimes there's been hints of, you know, if there's a stressful time around, something personal, sometimes I feel a whisper of.

[Dax Shepard]

Well, but also, you're rich.

[Lisa Kudrow]

You can afford to do this.

[Dax Shepard]

Buy your way out of this problem.

[Monica Padman]

Yeah, I know. To buy your way out of this emotional problem.

[Dax Shepard]

This problem with your husband. Have you thought about giving him a couple million dollars? If that makes it go away?

[Lisa Kudrow]

And then. And it's just. Of course, that's what's plaguing you right now. Maybe I need to have a little more empathy about that. But the only time ever I did a who do youo Think youk Are? Cause I produced the show and I was the first one to shoot it. And I'm in Belarus and learning about how my family was killed by death squads during the Holocaust.

[Dax Shepard]

Your dad's grandmother. Your great great grandmother.

[Lisa Kudrow]

Yes, great grandmother and kids and family and whole town. And so I'm learning about that. And I'm talking to this old woman who had been there. She's not Jewish. That's why she survived. And just surrounded by this whole darkness of it and getting slightly angry. So this woman in between shooting in Russian, and she just said, you're from America. Yeah. You have nice teeth. Oh, boy. And I went, yeah. She didn't have any teeth at all in her head. I said, yeah. And she said, you're rich.

[Monica Padman]

Oh, boy.

[Lisa Kudrow]

And I said, yes. Yes, I am. I was.

[Dax Shepard]

So it's kind of undeniable.

[Lisa Kudrow]

Yes, I am.

[Monica Padman]

Yeah.

[Lisa Kudrow]

Yeah. I'm so proud of that at this moment.

[Monica Padman]

Yes.

[Lisa Kudrow]

Because all these people were murdered. And then my grandmother, they came over there, and you're still here. You are.

[Monica Padman]

And you're rich.

[Lisa Kudrow]

And that.

[Monica Padman]

Yes.

[Lisa Kudrow]

It was the only time in my life that I felt like, yes, I'm rich.

[Dax Shepard]

Yes. I love that, 1,000%. I went to Dachau with my mother when I was 16. We toured Dachau. And I really recommend everyone have that experience because talk about the stuff we can't figure out or we don't understand really what's going on. To stand someplace where it is still so physically accessible, that the weight is so palpable is fucking weird. I've never had an experience anywhere else in my life like it were. After an hour there, you're like, oh, my God, I gotta get the fuck out of here.

[Lisa Kudrow]

I've never been. I don't know if I can Handle it.

[Dax Shepard]

Yeah.

[Lisa Kudrow]

And I could barely handle that. But I was really surprised by my reaction to being around someone who survived it. Then later came back and placed a monument where the mass grave was. I was standing there and thinking, God, all these people were killed. And then there were the people who were shooting, who have to have had moments.

[Dax Shepard]

Oh, yeah.

[Lisa Kudrow]

Later on, where they went, what did I do?

[Monica Padman]

Yeah.

[Lisa Kudrow]

I'm sure a lot of them just went, Jews. They had it coming. But how many lives were ruined on all sides?

[Dax Shepard]

It's convenient to think of that group of people, some other group of people that were evil and stuff. They were normal people that were in a system and they played their role. And. Yeah, I imagine, of course, there's some monsters that were like, we didn't get enough. And then I think more often people were like, now there's a new reality. And now I see it and what the fuck happened? And I was under the spell of.

[Lisa Kudrow]

This, even if for, like, five minutes. When that veil is lifted, it's torture. And then they can go back and tell themselves the same story to get through it. And these weren't Nazis either, necessarily. A lot of times it was local police who were happy to help. Anyway, sorry, we just say me at a dinner party.

[Dax Shepard]

No.

[Lisa Kudrow]

Isn't it funny?

[Dax Shepard]

We, like. Yeah, it's almost sadistic, but we like this part. My last. It's kind of related. I only bring it because I wasn't on a cultural phenom, but I was on Parenthood for six years.

[Lisa Kudrow]

Yeah.

[Dax Shepard]

And I fucking love those people so much. And I hadn't seen the show, I guess, in eight years or whatever it was. And my daughter's. I don't know if they wanted to see it or I suggested it, but we watched it on a vacation last year, from the second it started, the title sequence, I started crying. And it was the most cathartic. Wonderful. I got to experience it in a way I almost couldn't when I was doing it. I've heard you say a couple times that you were unable to watch Friends.

[Lisa Kudrow]

Yeah, to watch myself.

[Dax Shepard]

Well, but I really liked is I have a bit of the same fear, which is like, I mostly just don't want to get caught watching myself.

[Lisa Kudrow]

Well, there's that, too, because that element.

[Dax Shepard]

Of it, it's like, so humiliating. So you didn't watch it?

[Lisa Kudrow]

I didn't. First couple seasons, we'd go to Courtney's and watch it every Wednesday, every Thursday night. I almost said the wrong night.

[Monica Padman]

Yeah.

[Lisa Kudrow]

Must sit making up a word. It's like, it's every week. Every.

[Dax Shepard]

I don't know, every Saturday morning.

[Lisa Kudrow]

We get together as a day, watch.

[Dax Shepard]

The show every Saturday morning, for example.

[Lisa Kudrow]

Every Wednesday, whatever was on. I don't know, whatever. Thursday night, we'd watch it every week. And then too busy and I was pregnant. I don't know, I just stopped watching. And there are episodes I've never seen.

[Monica Padman]

Wow.

[Dax Shepard]

And it's almost impossible to avoid if any show is on at all times of the day. In fact, one of the only fights I ever got in when I was still dating Kristen, we didn't live together yet. I went to her house and this is back when a DVR only had like 20 hours of storage. And I like, go to watch some show we had and she had all these roommates and someone had recorded and put a season's pass on Friends. And I'm yelling in the house. I'm like, whoever put this on the dvr, you don't need to just turn the TV on. It's on. You don't need to record it. It's literally on all day.

[Monica Padman]

Need to record.

[Dax Shepard]

Amy Hansen, our sweetest friend came around the corner.

[Monica Padman]

True angel.

[Dax Shepard]

An angel. She goes, I'm sorry. And I go, you were doing it. You should definitely keep recording. I felt so terrible.

[Monica Padman]

Yeah, that's the worst thing you.

[Dax Shepard]

But anyways, you can't even avoid that. You can't go channel surfing and not see it.

[Lisa Kudrow]

It's so comforting.

[Dax Shepard]

Yeah, but you started watching it again.

[Lisa Kudrow]

Well, when Matthew passed away, I started watching. I mean, there were marathons. It was part of the process for me. And boy, I really appreciated it. And how funny. Well, I knew he was funny always. Anyway.

[Dax Shepard]

Yeah, Conan knows the most humiliated.

[Lisa Kudrow]

And for no other reason than to torture Conan, but he just was so funny. And I'm like, God, LeBlanc is hilarious. Oh, Jennifer, my God, that's so good.

[Monica Padman]

Yeah.

[Lisa Kudrow]

Come on, Courtney, how were you never nominated for an Emmy? Hush, Insane and Schwimmer. Yes. Oh my God. Come on. It was just this whole appreciation. I went, I gotta watch all of them.

[Monica Padman]

Yeah.

[Dax Shepard]

Did you cry when you were watching it?

[Lisa Kudrow]

I cried when there was a marathon on and I caught. I mean, I'm not watching it like on Max from season one. I tried. I don't know if I can do season one, but maybe season two or three, get my husband, like, can we watch and watch like, haha.

[Dax Shepard]

Okay.

[Lisa Kudrow]

And then something about me was like, I can't.

[Dax Shepard]

You feel like it's too self indulgent.

[Lisa Kudrow]

Yeah. But I feel like I need to watch all of them. So, anyway, the episode where Phoebe got married is on, and I'm watching it, and I got so caught up that I cried watching her because she looked so happy.

[Monica Padman]

Yeah, she was so happy.

[Lisa Kudrow]

She had such a real smile. She was just. I've never seen Phoebe that happy.

[Monica Padman]

You could remove yourself. Myself.

[Lisa Kudrow]

It's she. Yeah, it's for sure. She. It's for sure.

[Dax Shepard]

See, she sells seashells by the seashore.

[Monica Padman]

Who wouldn't be happy marrying Paul Rudd?

[Lisa Kudrow]

Well, and then there's that. But it really touched me. I was so happy for her.

[Monica Padman]

I'm glad you got that moment. That's what everyone felt. That whole series is like, we know.

[Lisa Kudrow]

When she got married, I cried. Oh, you did.

[Monica Padman]

So much. I was like, I know them. They're my friends. They're saving me from feeling lonely. That one glimpse you got is what people had for 10 years. Yeah. So lucky for us and grateful to you guys for that.

[Dax Shepard]

So I knew him through sobriety.

[Lisa Kudrow]

That's where I start chewing my gum.

[Dax Shepard]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Monica Padman]

This is gone.

[Lisa Kudrow]

I need my nicotine. Yeah.

[Monica Padman]

Yeah.

[Dax Shepard]

Look, what us addicts put everyone that love us through is rough.

[Lisa Kudrow]

Yeah.

[Dax Shepard]

If I were you, I would want to see the version, like, let's put it this way. And I can compare. I think it's a good comparison. Cancer. So my father, he had a lot of health issues towards the end, and there's a whole decade of his life. He was really on the decline. When I have dreams about him, I have dreams about him in his, like, 40s. I want to see his vibrant, virile self, and I miss it so much. And I guess I think if I loved an addict and I had to see the whole thing, I would be grateful to get to go back and see it before it had, like, taken its toll.

[Lisa Kudrow]

Right. I. This will sound odd. Am more comforted that he was happy the day he died. He got to die happy. And to me, that was a gift.

[Monica Padman]

It could have gone a much different way.

[Dax Shepard]

Yeah. I think people, they have a category addict. It's really incomplete. It's a spectrum. I've loved people in the program that I could recognize. They got it more than me. And I've had friends in aa where I would say, yeah, the weight of the world is heavier on your shoulders than it is on mine, and it's pretty heavy on mine. And I can see it and feel it, and it's heartbreaking, and I don't envy you. And I have a lot of compassion because you really are dealing with more than I am. And I can feel it. I'm sad for that.

[Lisa Kudrow]

Yeah. It is complicated, you know, But I loved that Matthew I first met and the one at the end. Because you love him. This is you, and I love you.

[Monica Padman]

Yeah.

[Lisa Kudrow]

I accept that.

[Dax Shepard]

This is you.

[Lisa Kudrow]

Yeah. I understand. And so did he.

[Dax Shepard]

I didn't even watch the show, but I got to be around him a lot. And he has a lot of quotes I keep with me. One of them is, I've spent my whole life making everyone like me. I haven't really asked myself what I like.

[Lisa Kudrow]

Oh.

[Dax Shepard]

Oh, I can relate to that.

[Lisa Kudrow]

Yes. I thought the sentence was going to finish a different way.

[Dax Shepard]

Oh, you did?

[Lisa Kudrow]

I've spent so much of my life making everybody around me me like me.

[Dax Shepard]

And no time making myself like me. Yeah, it's the same thing, really. Not asking yourself what you like is very similar to, you haven't figured out what you like, and you're not trying to make yourself like yourself.

[Lisa Kudrow]

But it's not like, what do you like about yourself? It's accept yourself, love yourself. That was, to me, the whole thing about fame isn't going to give you that just because everyone else is loving you.

[Dax Shepard]

It weirdly compounds it and it makes you hopeless. Because the thing that was going to make you love yourself didn't work. And now we're out options.

[Lisa Kudrow]

It exacerbates it. But the answer is simply, you're not only allowed to love yourself. You've got to.

[Monica Padman]

It's, like, required.

[Lisa Kudrow]

You're all you've got.

[Dax Shepard]

Yeah.

[Lisa Kudrow]

Ultimately, it's so nice that people love you, but it doesn't work if you don't love you.

[Dax Shepard]

It can work temporarily for me. Okay. Your show. No good deed. I'm not blowing smoke up your ass. It's fantastic. I'm going to ask you.

[Lisa Kudrow]

You've seen it?

[Dax Shepard]

Yes, I watched today while I was working out. I watched three episodes. Oh, you're gonna fucking love it, Monica.

[Lisa Kudrow]

Really?

[Monica Padman]

I'm sorry.

[Lisa Kudrow]

Yes.

[Dax Shepard]

Because it's very. And I don't know if you'll agree with this comparison, it's weirdly very Murders in the Building.

[Monica Padman]

Ooh.

[Lisa Kudrow]

Oh, interesting. Wow.

[Monica Padman]

Exciting.

[Dax Shepard]

It's great. So Liz Feldman and I were in the Sunday Company together.

[Lisa Kudrow]

Oh, my God. It all goes back to the Groundlings every time.

[Dax Shepard]

All roads lead Back.

[Monica Padman]

Did she create it?

[Dax Shepard]

She created it. She had also created Dead to Me.

[Lisa Kudrow]

Which was Christina Applegate. Linda Cardellini.

[Dax Shepard]

Had you prior to this?

[Lisa Kudrow]

No, I was just told. So we have an offer for you to do this Netflix show. Interesting.

[Dax Shepard]

Tell me more.

[Lisa Kudrow]

It's limited series, which you can do because I was committed to something else at the time. I went, okay, it's Liz Feldman who did. I said, dead to me.

[Dax Shepard]

You knew?

[Lisa Kudrow]

I know. Well, this sounds like a yes. Well, let's tell you a little more. You'll be married to Ray Romano. Well, of course.

[Monica Padman]

Yes.

[Lisa Kudrow]

Yes. Yeah. He's such a good actor.

[Dax Shepard]

So again, back to Parenthood. That's where he did his first kind of dramatic work. He was awesome. I got to direct him in a. I loved Parenthood. Oh, you did?

[Lisa Kudrow]

I saw every one of them.

[Dax Shepard]

Oh, my goodness. Okay. You were keeping that very.

[Lisa Kudrow]

She said that before. There wasn't a moment.

[Dax Shepard]

There were a lot of moments. Remember I told you I rewatched the whole thing and I cried and you go, oh, yeah, it was really good.

[Lisa Kudrow]

I was going to. And then I forgot. Remember how I kept saying, there's something I want to say and I can't remember what it is?

[Dax Shepard]

That's what it was. That. You're a super fan of Parenthood, but yeah. He was incredible on Parenthood, right?

[Lisa Kudrow]

Yes.

[Monica Padman]

Heartbreaking.

[Lisa Kudrow]

He's so good.

[Dax Shepard]

I'll add. What a dude. He has no ego. To walk into Parenthood season, whatever it was.

[Lisa Kudrow]

Yes.

[Dax Shepard]

That's fucking hard. You were on a show that had your name in the title, which was your whole story. Yeah. And then you walk in and you're like, 23rd on the call sheet this morning, and you can't wait to act.

[Lisa Kudrow]

Yes. Did you see that Netflix movie? Him and Mark Duplass? I can't remember it was called. Because the name of it has nothing to do with what it was about. Thank you, Paddleton. Oh, maybe that was someone's name. But to me, that has nothing to do with what it was about. And that was just world changing.

[Dax Shepard]

To me, he's incredible. He's almost a Duvall. Like, he's just alive there and it's real effortless.

[Lisa Kudrow]

So I was thrilled.

[Dax Shepard]

You have such rhythm.

[Lisa Kudrow]

Oh, good.

[Dax Shepard]

Oh, big time.

[Lisa Kudrow]

Yay.

[Dax Shepard]

And you have a lot of heavy lifting. You should see the list because you don't get sent screeners and get told what's embargoed. But the list of things I can't say is comical. I've never seen a list so long.

[Monica Padman]

Oh, cuz spoilers.

[Dax Shepard]

But I think we can say from the get go, you and Ray Romano are married, you're empty nesters, and you're going to sell this terrific house. It's a very LA story because this has happened to a Lot of people where you accidentally end up with a house that's worth, like, $5 million. And they're in this situation, and they're going to sell the house. And it's a great device. You meet all these characters that are coming in to tour the house, and they all want it. And by the way, the house is so great. It made me want the house so bad.

[Lisa Kudrow]

Me too. It's perfectly beautiful. That was a set on two stages. The first floor is on one stage. Second floor is on another stage.

[Dax Shepard]

But you have heavy lifting without giving anything away.

[Monica Padman]

Is that all we can say?

[Lisa Kudrow]

And there's some secrets.

[Monica Padman]

Okay.

[Dax Shepard]

There's a lot of secrets.

[Lisa Kudrow]

What's going on?

[Dax Shepard]

It's my favorite kind of story. Or it's unraveling. You're just two people selling a house you're having. Great. Then this weird thing happens. And this happens, and this happened. These people are weird. And all this stuff is getting kind of peeled back in every episode. You're like, oh, okay. But first and foremost, and this is the thing I was saying about you living in your house for so long, I can really relate to without knowing anything else, just the notion of handing over this place that has given you almost all of your most beautiful memories is such a bizarre notion. When I think about our own house right now and, like, all the memories we're having with these little kids, it's a very weird thing to do to me.

[Lisa Kudrow]

The woman I'm playing has got to be unstable because that's nothing like me.

[Dax Shepard]

You could walk away from Your house of 27 years right now and be fine. Wow. You're a psychopath.

[Lisa Kudrow]

Fine. But, well, home are the people you're with, and you claim a space. So wherever we live next, I'll claim it. It'll be ours. It's fine. Here's the weird thing that caught me by surprise. My brother and sister and I found out that our house that we grew up in, in Tarzana was for sale. And there was an open house, and let's just go. And the three of us went to the house, and I thought, I can afford to buy it. I think, should I just buy it?

[Dax Shepard]

Right?

[Lisa Kudrow]

I should buy it. I want it back. I think I should buy it.

[Dax Shepard]

Yeah.

[Lisa Kudrow]

Yeah.

[Dax Shepard]

I must buy it.

[Monica Padman]

Did you buy it?

[Lisa Kudrow]

No.

[Dax Shepard]

Oh.

[Lisa Kudrow]

Cause at first it was like, I want it back. We were having so much fun. It's like, yes. Oh, my God. And that's the same. And remember, we blank and we did that. And. Oh, remember the time I got thrown across the room and, yeah, it just got really dark.

[Monica Padman]

Remember the belt?

[Dax Shepard]

This is where dad used to hang his belt.

[Lisa Kudrow]

We were having the best time, but by the time we were sort of done touring it.

[Dax Shepard]

You were over it.

[Lisa Kudrow]

I was done. This is for someone else's memories.

[Dax Shepard]

Also, what you think you're buying is a teleport device. Back to those fun memories. I discovered this in the weirdest way with Nintendo. So I had Nintendo in seventh grade. It's the only year I ever played video games. I had such a fun year with my friends playing these new video games. And then as an adult, eBay came around, and I was like, oh, I could get a Nintendo and all those old games. And I ordered all the stuff and it came and I hooked it up to my tv. I couldn't figure out why it wasn't giving me anything. And I realized it's not the game I missed. It's seventh grade I miss. It's like my friends and I doing the thing. And I think I can get it back by having this object.

[Lisa Kudrow]

It's what you cared about while you were playing that game.

[Dax Shepard]

But truly, the show's fucking fantastic.

[Lisa Kudrow]

That's great. I don't have objectivity. I watched the first one and immediately forgot I was in it. And when I can't wait to see the next one. So that, to me, was a great sign.

[Monica Padman]

That's a huge sign.

[Dax Shepard]

Yeah.

[Lisa Kudrow]

By the way, blew through your wife's show.

[Monica Padman]

Who didn't?

[Lisa Kudrow]

Everyone did.

[Monica Padman]

Literally everyone.

[Dax Shepard]

You know who mostly blew through it? Dads.

[Lisa Kudrow]

Really?

[Dax Shepard]

Isn't that inexpensive? Inexplicable. That's who we hear most from.

[Lisa Kudrow]

That's fantastic. Because it's a romantic comedy, it's kind of encouraging. That is the best news I've ever heard.

[Dax Shepard]

I mean, truly, right?

[Lisa Kudrow]

My husband loved it. Well, there you go. He said, can we watch more of that? Like. Yeah. That's not what he sounds like. I don't know who. I just did.

[Dax Shepard]

What does he sound like? He must be able to do a great impersonation.

[Lisa Kudrow]

I mind watching more of that one. It's okay. He's foreign.

[Dax Shepard]

He's French.

[Monica Padman]

Oh, my God.

[Lisa Kudrow]

Does he make love to you?

[Monica Padman]

So very attractive. That is very attractive.

[Dax Shepard]

My only regret in life sexually is that I didn't make love to a French woman.

[Monica Padman]

Okay.

[Dax Shepard]

Because I have a whole. No, I think this is worth exploring.

[Lisa Kudrow]

French women probably instruct. Oh, okay.

[Dax Shepard]

That's you. Well, yeah. You're supposed to be somewhere else.

[Lisa Kudrow]

Okay.

[Dax Shepard]

Listen, I'm so sorry. I'm sorry. This was really too long.

[Lisa Kudrow]

What time is it? Nah, it's fine.

[Dax Shepard]

Okay. You sure? I don't think it's fine.

[Lisa Kudrow]

It's my publicist. How'd that go? Why haven't you left yet?

[Dax Shepard]

It can't still be going on.

[Lisa Kudrow]

You gotta go. Wrap it up.

[Dax Shepard]

Okay. Lisa. What a fucking joy.

[Lisa Kudrow]

Our first. Nice.

[Dax Shepard]

Yeah.

[Monica Padman]

That's a big deal.

[Dax Shepard]

Am I. Yeah. We had David Schwimmer. And I'll tell you our funny joke. He had to cancel because he had an ear infection. And Robbie said he had Schwimmer Mercier.

[Lisa Kudrow]

That's hilarious. Is that really good? Oh, shoot.

[Dax Shepard]

You gotta respect.

[Lisa Kudrow]

He's so great.

[Monica Padman]

But you are the. But, like, you're the best one, so we're glad to have.

[Lisa Kudrow]

No, I'm not. Oh, I can't wait for you to meet everybody.

[Monica Padman]

But this was such a treat.

[Dax Shepard]

It was. Thank you so much for spending so much time with us. Everyone watch no good deed. 12, 12, 24. I know you don't care numerically. What could be better? 12 +12 is 20, 24.

[Lisa Kudrow]

24, 24.

[Monica Padman]

We like that.

[Lisa Kudrow]

48.

[Dax Shepard]

Everyone watch no Good Deed. It's absolutely fantastic. Everyone's fantastic on it. And it's perfectly written. And the score is impeccable. 12, 12, 24. Thank you, Lisa Kudrow.

[Lisa Kudrow]

Thank you.

[Dax Shepard]

He is an armchair expert, but he makes mistakes all the time. Thank God Monica's here. She's gotta let him have the facts.

[Monica Padman]

11, 11.

[Dax Shepard]

Oh, okay. Hold on. I really want to think on this.

[Lisa Kudrow]

Do you.

[Dax Shepard]

Did you have one?

[Monica Padman]

Yeah.

[Dax Shepard]

Oh, wow. I want to know so bad. Don't you want to know?

[Monica Padman]

Yeah.

[Dax Shepard]

But you're not allowed to know other people's wishes.

[Monica Padman]

No.

[Dax Shepard]

That's a weird part of wisdom wish culture.

[Monica Padman]

Yeah.

[Dax Shepard]

Why is it that telling someone your wish would make it not come true? I know, but why?

[Monica Padman]

I don't know.

[Dax Shepard]

What's the logic behind it? Monica trying something new?

[Monica Padman]

Do you do multiple wishes in. In one minute or do you just do the one?

[Dax Shepard]

Do you go several?

[Monica Padman]

I do as many as I can.

[Dax Shepard]

Oh, my God. That's a great idea. I might switch to that.

[Monica Padman]

It's a little panicky.

[Dax Shepard]

And do you. Let me ask you this. Do you want to tell me or wish? Is that another part of it? Like, I want to know it? My hunch is you want to tell me.

[Monica Padman]

No, not really.

[Dax Shepard]

Oh, okay. Great.

[Monica Padman]

They're pretty basic. Like, my wishes are very similar to my prayers.

[Dax Shepard]

Great hair. Great skin. Pause for a second. There's a board issue. Oh, wonderful.

[Monica Padman]

That's a board issue.

[Dax Shepard]

Oh, Bo, he's bored. He was telling that say he's board.

[Monica Padman]

I said, we need a new topic.

[Dax Shepard]

He should have a like some kind of button where he's back there. He's like, bar. It's boring.

[Monica Padman]

Click.

[Dax Shepard]

Does this mean we're recording or not? I'm probably not audio.

[Monica Padman]

Oh, I hope so, because 1111. So I mean, I have the backup.

[Dax Shepard]

Recording in theory should be working, but on the computer it's not registering for some reason. So interesting.

[Monica Padman]

I feel like, Rob, your wish should have been that there was no technical problem. Problems.

[Dax Shepard]

Would it be such a sad wish for Rob?

[Monica Padman]

It's just. It's one of.

[Dax Shepard]

We were free to like, want to ride a unicorn on a.

[Monica Padman]

That was yours.

[Dax Shepard]

Snow cap mountain. And Rob's gonna be like, please, no technical glitches.

[Monica Padman]

Well, mine. Some of mine are work related often.

[Dax Shepard]

Yeah, yeah, same. I guess you're right. Go ahead, Rob. Make your wishes about technical proficiency. It's working.

[Monica Padman]

I don't know what that was, but okay. The wish came true.

[Dax Shepard]

I bet the computer made a wish on 11 11, which is like, I wish I could stop computing. Oh, then its wish came true. Then Rob was like, bullshit.

[Monica Padman]

His overrides the computers.

[Dax Shepard]

You don't get wishes. You're a computer.

[Monica Padman]

What do you think the robot would wish for?

[Dax Shepard]

To be a boy. Oh, that's. You know, that. Yeah, that. His wish is right on his sleeve. He wears his wish on his sleeve.

[Monica Padman]

He's so cute. How do you think he's.

[Dax Shepard]

It's 11:11. Time to make my wish. Once again. I wish I was a boy. I never tire of making his wish.

[Monica Padman]

Do you think he's feeling a little uncomf with AI? Yes. And chat GPT and like metaglasses.

[Dax Shepard]

And I'm excited for a I. They will be superior to me. I will seem so charming, as if I'm a flawed human being.

[Monica Padman]

Oh, that's very Glass half full. Yeah. He's very optimistic.

[Dax Shepard]

He is. He'll seem like a clumsy dum dum, which is very much what a boy is.

[Monica Padman]

Right?

[Dax Shepard]

So very boy.

[Lisa Kudrow]

Okay.

[Monica Padman]

Yeah, I like that.

[Dax Shepard]

How was your fitting?

[Monica Padman]

It was nice.

[Dax Shepard]

It was.

[Monica Padman]

We're shooting a commercial tomorrow.

[Dax Shepard]

Yeah, it's very, very exciting. Co stars.

[Monica Padman]

I know. It's very fun.

[Dax Shepard]

It is fun.

[Monica Padman]

We shot a commercial once before together a very long time ago for the city of Los Angeles. California.

[Dax Shepard]

Right.

[Monica Padman]

The state of California or the city of Los Angeles. I don't know.

[Dax Shepard]

California tourism, I believe. And we were up at the observatory. Ding, ding, ding. What? I was about to I was going to tell you what I just did this morning, but. Oh, that'll put on pause. Okay, what's your biggest memory from the. That California tourism shoot we did together?

[Monica Padman]

Well, I was wearing, like, a really specific dress, and Christian said, yeah, that's.

[Dax Shepard]

My number one memory. So we work with a guy all the time.

[Monica Padman]

Yeah.

[Dax Shepard]

And he. He saw.

[Lisa Kudrow]

He got.

[Monica Padman]

Saw me in a new light.

[Dax Shepard]

He saw you in a whole new light. He was so shook. It was hilarious.

[Monica Padman]

Well, understandably, because especially up until. Until that point, I was a little assistant running around in sweatpants.

[Dax Shepard]

I was gonna say, you're in your pangaia phase, or just prior you were in.

[Monica Padman]

It was before Pangaya.

[Dax Shepard]

Yeah, but it was, like, always bedtime.

[Monica Padman]

Look, not really. I mean, when I would show up to the house, I'd look cute, but everyone saw me, you know? It's all very interesting, actually. This is psychologically interesting.

[Dax Shepard]

Go on.

[Monica Padman]

When I was an assistant, I liked fashion the same amount. That hasn't changed.

[Dax Shepard]

Cracked.

[Monica Padman]

But I think when I was an assistant, no one thought that. Or they were just like, oh, she's just like a little girl, and she gets groceries and she.

[Dax Shepard]

No one thought you got groceries.

[Monica Padman]

Chicken nuggets.

[Dax Shepard]

Dino nuggets.

[Monica Padman]

Yeah.

[Dax Shepard]

I'm going to challenge that.

[Monica Padman]

Okay.

[Dax Shepard]

From a guy's perspective, we don't have a status thing if we see a hot woman. We don't. It's not like we're like, o, she's the janitor. We don't think that way. We just go, ooh, hot. I don't even think about it. I'm just, like, looking at them and I go, either Aruga. No. Yep.

[Monica Padman]

Don't do that.

[Dax Shepard]

That's a cartoon noise from Bugs Bunny. It's okay.

[Monica Padman]

Some people really do it.

[Dax Shepard]

No, that's not even a cat call. Even the worst guy is not yelling out his window. Aruga. Well, now there's other bs.

[Monica Padman]

Yeah. Someone yelled at me the other day, and it was. It's awful.

[Dax Shepard]

I want. I'm going to. This is a brag. I. I did yell. Guys. I was at a. I was at a crosswalk, and there were two dudes in a truck, and this gal was at the corner, and they started hosting, and I got involved.

[Monica Padman]

You did?

[Dax Shepard]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Monica Padman]

What'd you say?

[Dax Shepard]

I'm not gonna. I don't like when I show that side of myself. You've seen that side of me.

[Monica Padman]

Well, did you say a slander?

[Dax Shepard]

I was like, hey, have some, you know, respect. Some respect. Yeah. Have some manners. Shut the. Like, I. You know. I kind of snap. Like, get a hold of yourself. You're acting like a couple of dogs.

[Monica Padman]

Wow. You're so mixed messies.

[Dax Shepard]

Tell me more. Well, like, I'm a human being who's attracted to people. It's just what you do with that attraction.

[Monica Padman]

I know that. That's. I'm glad you said that.

[Dax Shepard]

And that's why I've chosen Aruga. Because I feel like that is a playful, cartoony, you're right way.

[Monica Padman]

I'm glad you did that.

[Dax Shepard]

Now if I went boing. That's rough. That says I have a boner. The other one says I have an old timey horn somewhere on me.

[Monica Padman]

Okay.

[Dax Shepard]

Right.

[Monica Padman]

Yeah, that's true.

[Lisa Kudrow]

Okay.

[Monica Padman]

Now, I like that you did that.

[Dax Shepard]

Okay.

[Monica Padman]

I bet that woman felt protected. And so. That's nice.

[Dax Shepard]

Yeah. I hope she did.

[Monica Padman]

Was it Kristen?

[Dax Shepard]

No, no, no, no. I was exercising. Someone else was in an exercise outfit. These two guys were letting it rip.

[Monica Padman]

I see. I didn't think that was cool, but.

[Dax Shepard]

I am making a decision in that moment. There's two guys.

[Monica Padman]

Yeah.

[Dax Shepard]

They might hop out of the truck. So I got it. Like, there's a lot of thin slicing going on. I'm like, I gotta tell these guys. Shut the fuck up. This is crazy.

[Monica Padman]

Yeah.

[Dax Shepard]

There's two of them. They're alight. Maybe they're gonna get out. Okay. I guess I'm up for that.

[Monica Padman]

Yeah.

[Dax Shepard]

And then I go, I'm up for that.

[Monica Padman]

That's the part I don't like because I don't want you to get injured.

[Dax Shepard]

Right.

[Monica Padman]

But I also like that you protected.

[Dax Shepard]

This is the problem with life in the world and the planet.

[Monica Padman]

Yeah.

[Dax Shepard]

It's a messy contradiction. Sometimes a bad decision is mildly better than the other thing. It's correct.

[Monica Padman]

Yes, that's right. That's true. Yeah. One of the biggest memories I have in my life is Christian noticing. No, no.

[Dax Shepard]

Giving an aruga.

[Monica Padman]

It's also funny though, because I was wearing like a very sparkly dress. Kind of like a ridiculous looking dress. I didn't pick it. And so for that to be the thing.

[Dax Shepard]

Well. Well, you can see this though.

[Monica Padman]

Yeah.

[Dax Shepard]

Do you think your. Your dress. And now it's changed yet again. But do you think your dress evolved from when we first met you? Cause I think it did.

[Monica Padman]

That's what I'm trying to say. I don't. I mean, look, in some ways, yes, because I have. My financial situation has changed. But the.

[Dax Shepard]

I think your confidence situation changed a bit too.

[Monica Padman]

For sure.

[Dax Shepard]

I think you felt more comfortable being who you are. What you have.

[Monica Padman]

Yeah. But then the more oversight size I get.

[Dax Shepard]

See, now that's what I'm saying. Then it pivoted again. Now you're like, I'm in a sleeping bag.

[Monica Padman]

Yeah.

[Dax Shepard]

Yeah.

[Monica Padman]

So cute.

[Dax Shepard]

Yeah.

[Monica Padman]

Yeah. I don't know, but I just. I mean, he had never seen me in a dress, and then he'd also never seen me in full glam. That was also probably part of it. I was in heels. It was a look. But that was a fun.

[Dax Shepard]

Yeah, that was funny.

[Monica Padman]

Okay.

[Dax Shepard]

But I'm glad we had the same memory of it.

[Monica Padman]

I only do because you. He said it to you, of course, and then you, of course, repeat you passed along the compliment.

[Dax Shepard]

Always want you to know.

[Monica Padman]

Yeah. And I think you mentioned it a few times. And so that was my last.

[Dax Shepard]

I really wanted to sink in.

[Monica Padman]

Yeah.

[Dax Shepard]

I'm going to add, Kristen's a handsome man.

[Lisa Kudrow]

Very.

[Dax Shepard]

Yeah.

[Monica Padman]

Yes.

[Dax Shepard]

Very handsome man.

[Monica Padman]

Okay. But a memory I have. I was at a light. I think I've talked about this before, but I was at a light. It was red. It had a no turn on red sign.

[Dax Shepard]

Right.

[Monica Padman]

And there was someone behind me and he was honking and I was not going to move.

[Dax Shepard]

Yeah. You won't be peer pressured.

[Monica Padman]

Yeah. But it was getting, like aggressive. And then there was a man on the street.

[Dax Shepard]

Yeah.

[Monica Padman]

And he, like looked at the guy and was like, it's not. It's not. She can't go.

[Dax Shepard]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Monica Padman]

And I loved it.

[Dax Shepard]

Yeah. We have a diminished role in this world, but one of the roles is to keep the younger, cuckooer versions of ourselves in check out in public. They want to freak out in their house like, tonka, go nuts. But when you enter society, you got to tighten it up.

[Monica Padman]

Yeah. I think that is a good thing for men to do for other men.

[Dax Shepard]

Yeah. Yeah. Okay. Now, the reason I was just at the observatory. Oh, I'm trying. This is a New Year's resolution that I started last week.

[Monica Padman]

Okay.

[Dax Shepard]

I want to be able to ride my bicycle, my cute road bike I told you about. That's green and yellow. A lot of people ask me to post pictures and I need to. So I did it for the first time, I guess four days ago on the break. I rode from here. And my thought was I'm going to ride as far up the hill as I can get and then.

[Monica Padman]

Hold on.

[Dax Shepard]

And then not up the hiking trail.

[Monica Padman]

Oh, that's what I'm asking. Okay.

[Dax Shepard]

Up Ferndale.

[Monica Padman]

Okay.

[Dax Shepard]

You know, it twists all around and then how you would drive to the observatory.

[Monica Padman]

Okay.

[Lisa Kudrow]

Got it.

[Dax Shepard]

And my hunch was, like, when you leave the house, it's immediately incline up the side street and then up Ferndale. When you get to the stop sign, I'm like, I already know when you're hiking. You're winded by the time you get. So I'm like, maybe I'll get to the stop sign, then maybe next time I'll get to the first turn, and so on. So on. Well, on my trip last week, I got all the way to the final stretch. Like, maybe a block. I did have to get off and walk the last, like, half block or block up to the very top.

[Monica Padman]

Wow.

[Dax Shepard]

My thighs were as dense as, like, a microwave. They were. So I've never. They've never been that inflated with blood or whatever was going on. They were just so pumped up.

[Monica Padman]

Wow.

[Dax Shepard]

So I did that, and then this morning, I'm like, I'm gonna do it again. So I did it again this morning, and I didn't have to walk.

[Monica Padman]

You did the whole thing?

[Dax Shepard]

Yeah. I was kind of shocked with just one trip up. Cause the first trip up was bonkers. This trip up was good. It was a hard workout, but my legs didn't get, like, locked.

[Monica Padman]

Wow. And you think maybe you'll ride to the moon soon?

[Dax Shepard]

I hope I'll ride to the moon. Yeah. And by 2026.

[Monica Padman]

That's so nice.

[Dax Shepard]

The first person to climb Everest on a bicycle. On a road bike.

[Monica Padman]

That's awesome. Congratulations.

[Dax Shepard]

Thank you. Oh, I brought it up. Not just. I didn't bring it up to brag, but I also brought it up because the most insane thing was happening on the entire trip up this morning. It was an SNL sketch, and it wouldn't fucking stop for 25 minutes. So I'm huffing up the hill. I'm in the highest gear. I'm like. And I have headphones in. I'm listening to stuff. And I heard something just to the left of me a little bit. And I like, look. And it's like. It's really close. It's a dude with dreadlocks in a backpack, and he's on an electric scooter. And we're going roughly the same speed.

[Monica Padman]

Sure.

[Dax Shepard]

It's maddening being next to a dude on a scooter. He get. He goes ahead of me.

[Monica Padman]

Yeah.

[Dax Shepard]

Now he's ahead of me. Then he gets to a stop sign, and I think he maybe had to put more money on the scooter.

[Monica Padman]

Okay.

[Dax Shepard]

Because now he's got his phone out, and I think he didn't have cell Service, whatever. I then pass him. I'm now riding. I forget about him.

[Monica Padman]

Yeah.

[Dax Shepard]

12 minutes later, I hear something. I look over, he's. Oh my fucking God. And. And I don't have it in me to go faster.

[Monica Padman]

We wanted your alone space.

[Dax Shepard]

It's just something that was so invasive. Well, it was the awkwardness of it, but then it was also the humiliation of a guy in this little scooter passing me.

[Monica Padman]

It's electric.

[Dax Shepard]

Going like three miles an hour up this steep hill. It just was crazy. Imagine you see a guy taking a nap passing you on your hike. Like it just felt like that. Like what? How is this guy and I doing the same thing?

[Monica Padman]

Yeah.

[Dax Shepard]

We passed in, I bet five times. Did he pass me right at. He passed me at entering the parking lot to the observatory. He did win.

[Monica Padman]

Wow.

[Dax Shepard]

Yeah, but what? It was comical.

[Monica Padman]

This reminds me, reminds me. Fights, bikes, running. Remember earlier this year, my running situation with the dogs and the people and.

[Dax Shepard]

The people congregating and.

[Monica Padman]

Yes. Now I drove by the other day. Okay, let me see what I can find.

[Lisa Kudrow]

Wow.

[Dax Shepard]

There's going to be photographic evidence.

[Monica Padman]

This was the area. Okay. There's now a sign up.

[Lisa Kudrow]

Oh.

[Monica Padman]

That says no dog walking, private property.

[Dax Shepard]

Oh, did you put that up?

[Monica Padman]

No, I didn't, but that would have been a good move. But also it goes to show you.

[Dax Shepard]

Weren'T the only person in convenience.

[Monica Padman]

Correct? Yeah, correct. I felt very validated by this sign.

[Dax Shepard]

I bet. Vindicated.

[Monica Padman]

They were just there. That's not even their house. Oh, my God.

[Dax Shepard]

I didn't think ever that was their house, did you?

[Monica Padman]

I guess if I was being jacked, I don't know, I thought maybe one of them, that was their area.

[Dax Shepard]

Yeah, that was the thing that happened when we used to live on Los Feliz Boulevard. I would come out and someone just be having like a picnic on the front yard. They'd have a blanket out. They might be asleep.

[Monica Padman]

Sure.

[Dax Shepard]

It's interesting. Stay tuned for more Armchair Expert if you dare. We are supported by Squarespace. If you've been to the Armchair Expert website, you've seen Squarespace in in action. Wabi Wab made our website using Squarespace, the all in one website platform for entrepreneurs to stand out and succeed online. What I love about Squarespace is aside from the functionality, it's just so visually pleasing. And Rob was able to whip this up in no time with all the incredible templates that were available to him.

[Monica Padman]

And it looks very profesh.

[Dax Shepard]

Squarespace just looks good. And Squarespace optimizes your website for every device so it looks incredible whether users are on their computer, phone, or tablet. No matter what type of site you want to build, Squarespace can help you make it. Want to make an online store? Squarespace makes checkout seamless for your customers with simple but powerful payment tools. Want to sell exclusive content on your site? Squarespace has the option to add a paywall so you can sell memberships and courses or files that your customers can download, like music or ebooks. Check out squarespace.com for a free trial, and when you're ready to get started, go to squarespace.comdax to save 10% off your first purchase of a website or domain. That's squarespace.com dax to get started today.

[Monica Padman]

Okay, I do want. I have an update. Sort of. Okay, not really. And I wasn't really going to say this, but I am. A couple of fact checks ago, we talk about a dream I had.

[Dax Shepard]

Oh, yes, yes, yes. Cagers. Jeez.

[Monica Padman]

J. J. Dream.

[Dax Shepard]

A dream.

[Monica Padman]

Let's be. Let's like make it so clear that I was talking about a dream.

[Dax Shepard]

That's right.

[Monica Padman]

I got a very disgusting email from somebody also, like, do not email me, me, me. The less emails I get in general, the better. But this random person emailed me and.

[Dax Shepard]

Said, I think you should read it.

[Monica Padman]

The subject is, geez, be an adult. Exclamation point, exclamation point. Okay, the. Then it just says really quick.

[Dax Shepard]

Just already. I want to have a grievance. Yeah, this is the definition of being an adult. When you're a kid, you don't even think about this. This is. This is exclusively for adults. So just right there. Problem number one. Continue.

[Monica Padman]

Yeah, she said. She said, go to your doctor and convey.

[Dax Shepard]

Hold on.

[Monica Padman]

I know. It's a woman.

[Dax Shepard]

I know. Oh, and I'm interrupting you too much. But you already have a look on your face, which I love. When you're reading it, you're her.

[Monica Padman]

Yeah.

[Dax Shepard]

Yeah. I say so you're like this. Yeah. Okay, go ahead.

[Monica Padman]

Okay. Go to your doctor and convey your concerns instead of making your personal hygiene issues a problem for your audience. You never cease to amaze me. Exclamation point, exclamation point, exclamation point. You are such a constant child. Not go to a doctor because you know better. MD after your name. God, but you're tedious. Okay, so none of that makes any sense. And it's really mean.

[Dax Shepard]

It's not grammatically great.

[Monica Padman]

Yeah. MD after my name. What does that even mean?

[Dax Shepard]

But let's just. Let's treat this as if it's a real piece of advice. I want to give this person a, a day in court. So what she or he, she is requesting is that you go to your dad doctor and you say, I had a dream my vagina smelled. He's gonna go go see a psychologist. Why are you here? Does your vagina smell? I don't think so. I had a nightmare that it did, and the love of my life was put off by it.

[Monica Padman]

Yeah, it's a, it's a dream.

[Dax Shepard]

That's what she wants you to do is go to the doctor and tell them you had a dream about your vagina.

[Monica Padman]

I guess.

[Dax Shepard]

And I'm gonna start going to doctors to tell them about my dreams.

[Monica Padman]

Yeah. I mean, I'm so tedious.

[Dax Shepard]

Yeah.

[Monica Padman]

Also, why do you, why do you listen, Go away. Well, no, I 100% stand by that. If you're the type of person who's going to send an email like that, I prefer you do not listen to this show or me or engage with me ever again. You actually don't have permission.

[Dax Shepard]

I understand. I have a different take.

[Monica Padman]

Go ahead.

[Dax Shepard]

Yeah. Which is like, people, I'm one of them. I used to kind of hate listen to Rush Limbaugh.

[Monica Padman]

Okay.

[Dax Shepard]

People hate listened to Howard Stern. Like, they just, they wanted to hear what he said so they could be mad about it and they could go to work and they could talk about what a misogynist piggy was. And it was like it's, it was their hobby.

[Monica Padman]

Yeah, that's a be.

[Dax Shepard]

He still got those ratings. They still had to listen to his message. Some of it definitely sunk in. So I, I, I, I don't mind. I don't mind. I don't mind if you, you're like, you're an incel. Listening to this hating me. That's great. Keep listening. Nah, no, then that's good.

[Monica Padman]

I understand you. I get, I get what you're saying and I get what you're saying. I, no, no, thanks. Yeah, you don't get to. Or you, you do get to, because it's a public show, so you can do whatever you want. But like the idea that you opened an email, I mean, I, I didn't understand half of what that meant. So I think this person is unhinged.

[Dax Shepard]

They're probably, probably. Yeah, they're probably got a lot of stuff going on. Let's.

[Monica Padman]

Can you say that it was mean?

[Dax Shepard]

Oh, absolutely. Well, it's so ridiculous and silly and stupid. Like, it's mostly just embarrassing. That email's so embarrassing. If I sent that email to the host of a podcast and didn't want to accept she was talking about a dream. It's just. It's embarrassing.

[Monica Padman]

But even not just the part about the Go to the doctor. Like, you're tedious. You never cease to amaze me. You're a child.

[Dax Shepard]

Well, again, that.

[Monica Padman]

These are.

[Dax Shepard]

That, to me, confirms. So she has a story about you, which was at the end of the email. Her story about you is that you're tedious, and so anything you say is going to be tedious. So the fact that you said you had a dream, that has to be tedious, because her story about you is that you're tedious. And so she's backed herself into this crazy corner where what she's saying doesn't even make sense. Go see a doctor about your dream. It's so. I mean, it's such a stupid email.

[Monica Padman]

Yeah, yeah.

[Dax Shepard]

It. It's mean, but mostly it's stupid. Let's go into the psychology of it.

[Monica Padman]

Okay.

[Dax Shepard]

This really doesn't work because I already. I think the story part is really relevant, but my hunch is she has something going on vaginally. Why is that such a hot. Like, why did that trigger her so much?

[Monica Padman]

Yeah, I think it triggered people. I. I got a few nice responses that were.

[Dax Shepard]

I only read nice ones.

[Monica Padman]

Oh, that's nice. But, I mean, I, like, a person in my life, reached out and said, oh, I use this. And I was like, it was a dream. Like, I freaked out. And they were like, oh, sorry.

[Dax Shepard]

Oh, but then I know.

[Monica Padman]

And I was like, no, no, I know. I'm sorry. I was like, I got a bad email. And I guess I think everyone thinks that, and I wasn't. I actually don't think that about myself. I could be wrong because that's, again, the fear. But the dream was a fear about being unlovable.

[Dax Shepard]

That's right. And unworthy.

[Monica Padman]

Exactly.

[Dax Shepard]

Yes, yes.

[Monica Padman]

And broken and gross.

[Dax Shepard]

That's right. Fundamentally flawed. Like, okay, he passed. Somehow I fooled him with this, and I fooled him with this, and I fooled. But eventually the truth will be discovered. And the last thing that he didn't have access to, that he finally discovered was, of course, the deal breaker. Yeah, it makes a lot of sense.

[Monica Padman]

Yeah. It's just a metaphor for, like, I'm not good enough.

[Dax Shepard]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Monica Padman]

So I think people do struggle with this issue.

[Dax Shepard]

Oh, absolutely.

[Monica Padman]

And there turns out there are a lot of products on the market.

[Dax Shepard]

Okay, great.

[Monica Padman]

So people can check that out.

[Dax Shepard]

Are they oral or are they. You put them in.

[Monica Padman]

You oral.

[Dax Shepard]

Oral.

[Monica Padman]

Yes.

[Dax Shepard]

Interesting. That's encouraging.

[Monica Padman]

Well, I think it's like prebiotics are supposed to be helpful.

[Dax Shepard]

Now here's the thing. I do think, I think, I think I'm right about that. The good comp is this fear of erectile dysfunction. No one would send me a mean email if I was talking about erectile dysfunction.

[Monica Padman]

I know. Well, they don't think you're tedious. They think I am.

[Dax Shepard]

Well, even. Let's take her out of it. I think there are many people that would clutch their pearls when you're talking about a vagina public.

[Lisa Kudrow]

Uhhuh.

[Dax Shepard]

And I think that's crazy.

[Monica Padman]

Yeah, I know.

[Dax Shepard]

Get real. And I don't think it's. It's not dudes. Well also it's not dudes saying it. I don't, I don't know.

[Monica Padman]

Yeah, that's interesting.

[Lisa Kudrow]

It is.

[Dax Shepard]

Cuz I think what you're right. Which makes sense is like it's. It's a. It's a fear. So when you're talking about it like God knows what it is like she shouldn't say that. I would never say like you're doing something that scares the out of them.

[Monica Padman]

Exactly.

[Dax Shepard]

Yes. So that makes sense. And then maybe if anyone was going to have an issue with my erectile dysfunction combination conversation. It was a dream. It would probably be a guy. Like, dude, shut the up. No one wants to hear about your limp. It would probably be a guy.

[Monica Padman]

Yeah, it is. People feel threatened somehow.

[Dax Shepard]

I get this, by the way, if I can own one of the worst parts of me. I was thinking in terms of. In fact, I just, I think I saw the person driving and, and I was like, what is my problem with this? Why don't I. What is my issue with this person? And it is that they present so fragile and vulnerable and weak.

[Monica Padman]

Interesting.

[Dax Shepard]

And when I see them moving through the world that way, it like gives me this deep. I just can't imagine presenting this way. I would just be so afraid everyone was going to take advantage of me and harm me. So like my own stuff I can't even handle when someone's like just presents as crazy fragile. It really.

[Monica Padman]

Oh, that's funny.

[Dax Shepard]

It triggers my fear of myself presenting that way.

[Monica Padman]

Yeah. And that's introspective.

[Dax Shepard]

I think some element of homophobia is in there as well. Which is like, you're a young boy. And again, I'm only going to speak for my generation. And we just had a guest on yesterday. We talk about the power of that.

[Monica Padman]

Yeah.

[Dax Shepard]

And I want to add like, yeah, there'll be Straight guys like me or this guest we had talking about having been molested and the implications that you're gay and you feel gay, and then you'd be dead, like, your whole school. What? You'd be dead. But I think some element of homophobia for some guys is it's not even maybe that they. They hate that two guys are going to hook up in their house. It's that when they see them presenting as gay, they imagine like, oh, my God, that's what I've been trying to avoid. Avoid my whole childhood to be masculine and butch and tough. And it scares them, like, to see. It scares them. Like, fuck, if I was acting this way, I would be so called out.

[Monica Padman]

And, you know, that's probably true when people are themselves. A lot of people find that very threatening.

[Dax Shepard]

Yeah.

[Monica Padman]

Because. Or maybe there's like a deep jealousy.

[Dax Shepard]

Yep. Well, what they are their whole holding in their true selves because they've told themselves, if I show my true self, I'll be excluded. And now here's this person showing their true selves and they're not being excluded. They're being embraced. It's like, very threatening to hear your confidence.

[Monica Padman]

Like they feel like it's unfair.

[Dax Shepard]

Yep. It shouldn't be that way because I know if I did that, I would be excluded. So why is this person getting away with it? It's like Ozempic. It's like, why are they getting to do something that I'm not allowed to do? And then. Yeah, I think that's what's going on a lot of the time.

[Monica Padman]

Yeah. Yeah, me too. Who triggers you when people walk around with a victim complex?

[Dax Shepard]

Right.

[Monica Padman]

I am so disturbed by it.

[Dax Shepard]

Yep.

[Monica Padman]

I also. I find it annoying because I guess I feel like you're not everyone. Like, everyone has issues. Just stop.

[Dax Shepard]

Like, yeah, the world is not conspiring against you any more than it's conspiring against.

[Monica Padman]

Exactly. I guess it is.

[Dax Shepard]

Now, granted, there are clients glasses where the. If you're a black female, of course.

[Lisa Kudrow]

Yeah.

[Monica Padman]

No.

[Dax Shepard]

But in general, just living life.

[Monica Padman]

Victims don't trigger me. People who walk around with the victim complex, that's a different thing. That's like everything is. They're a victim or the world is doing this to them or they, like, they can't figure it out. And it's. It's everyone else's problem.

[Dax Shepard]

Yeah.

[Monica Padman]

Everyone else's problem but theirs.

[Dax Shepard]

It's also a great tool in the narcissist kit.

[Monica Padman]

It is.

[Dax Shepard]

It's like when they've clearly fucked up and they clearly owe someone an apology. They figure out how they're the victim and now they just switch their story to how they've been victimized.

[Monica Padman]

There's a lot of people who are very quick to be the victim in this world.

[Dax Shepard]

Yeah.

[Monica Padman]

And yeah. I'm not talking about real victims. And I find it so off putting. I don't know. I don't really know what. Why it's so. Well, for one, it is. It's contagious. There's that. I think there's something about walking around like that and being so negative and all this is happening to me. It's hard to be around that and maintain a level of happiness.

[Dax Shepard]

Yeah. You're almost inclined to meet them there.

[Monica Padman]

And it's a horrible thing.

[Dax Shepard]

I know. I just got this thing.

[Monica Padman]

This bad thing happened to me too.

[Dax Shepard]

I wonder if there's something for you in the fact that like you were presented a fork in the road as a little kid and you could have gone home every day and told your mom, no one likes me because I'm brown. Or you could like learn cheerleading.

[Monica Padman]

Right.

[Dax Shepard]

And force them to be around you and like you.

[Monica Padman]

I was thinking that and I thought it sounded a little arrogant. Arrogant. So. But that I do think that's what it is. There's a part of me, and this isn't necessarily fair, but there's a part of me that thinks I figured it out. So can you.

[Dax Shepard]

Right.

[Monica Padman]

Again, not to everyone. And not to people who are victimized.

[Dax Shepard]

Sure.

[Monica Padman]

These are people who are victims in their brain.

[Dax Shepard]

Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Monica Padman]

There is a way to look at the world differently. And I. I know it from experience.

[Dax Shepard]

I think for me, mine is ultimately incredibly self centered because it's really just my irritation or fear that I would prescribe present that way. It just seems so unattractive that when I'm around it, I just can't stop thinking about how much I would hate to be presenting this way.

[Monica Padman]

Yeah. I mean, it's just a buzzkill to be around that all the time. And to feel like you have to like be constantly lifting up. Lifting somebody up.

[Dax Shepard]

Yeah.

[Monica Padman]

And we all do this. Right. Like we all need event. We all have moments where we feel like a victim when we're not. I mean all of us. It's not. But for some people, it's a way of looking at the world.

[Dax Shepard]

I wonder if what could be helpful because I think this is one of the. One of my favorite AA things, which is like learning in the fourth step. I believe that self aggrandizement and self Pity are the same level of narcissism.

[Monica Padman]

Yes, exactly.

[Dax Shepard]

Right. So I think once I really accepted that and believe that concept, for me to be doing the self pity thing, I feel as bad as I would be talking about that I'm God's gift to this planet. And so I'm just like, oh, yeah, that's the same level of self indulgence.

[Monica Padman]

Anyway. It was a dream.

[Dax Shepard]

Yeah, it was a dream. Everything.

[Monica Padman]

Everything's tip top.

[Dax Shepard]

Yeah. Jake G. Jersey.

[Monica Padman]

Don't be scared. Don't be scared.

[Dax Shepard]

Have you ever smelt a Springfield J. Jagers? You ever smelt a warm apple pie coming out of the oven? Jagers. Because that's what you're getting into when you pull them slacks down.

[Monica Padman]

Okay.

[Dax Shepard]

It's like opening the door to an oven.

[Monica Padman]

Oh, my God.

[Dax Shepard]

You hit with a waft of warm apple pie.

[Lisa Kudrow]

Jesus.

[Dax Shepard]

Warm apple pie.

[Monica Padman]

Oh, this is for Lisa Kudrow.

[Dax Shepard]

Oh, I loved Lisa Kudrow.

[Monica Padman]

What a gift.

[Dax Shepard]

What a gift.

[Monica Padman]

What a dream. What a gift.

[Dax Shepard]

What a blessing.

[Monica Padman]

What a blessing. A Christmas miracle.

[Dax Shepard]

My new over indexed is blessing. You probably noticed it.

[Monica Padman]

Really?

[Dax Shepard]

Yeah. I love calling things a blessing.

[Monica Padman]

Are you joking?

[Dax Shepard]

I like. I don't think there's. That God's involved.

[Monica Padman]

Right.

[Dax Shepard]

But I like what that means if you do believe God's involved. Like, I understand what it means and I like to. I like that meaning.

[Monica Padman]

Yeah.

[Dax Shepard]

Like this is otherworldly. This is really a spiritual special treat. So I say it a lot and I do wonder if it's confusing to people who know my stance on religion.

[Monica Padman]

Yeah, I'm sure it is.

[Dax Shepard]

But I just feel like it really, really articulates what I feel a lot of times now.

[Lisa Kudrow]

Okay.

[Dax Shepard]

Increasingly. So I'm wearing a very fuzzy sweater and somehow it's just migrated into my mouth, I think. Or I don't know if it's psychosomatic because I can see the little frizzies. I'm like, is this in my. Oh, my God. It's just.

[Monica Padman]

Wait, add them to the bag. Oh, no, that's only hair.

[Lisa Kudrow]

You're right.

[Monica Padman]

I'm sorry.

[Dax Shepard]

By the way, we're due for. I think today we're doing another of a harvest.

[Monica Padman]

Yeah. Because it's dwindling.

[Dax Shepard]

It's kind of disappeared.

[Monica Padman]

I know. I wonder, does hair disintegrate?

[Dax Shepard]

I don't think so.

[Monica Padman]

Okay. Lisa. This was such a long time coming. Our first friend. I was so grateful. I did feel like I fucked it up a little bit. There's no way to really convey the meaning.

[Dax Shepard]

Right.

[Monica Padman]

Of her here. And so I was kind of put in the position to try. And so I said, I think I said there's nothing I can really say, but I wish I could have, I wish I could have articulated it, but I can't. It is, it's a, A blessing.

[Dax Shepard]

She's a blessing. The show was a blessing in your life.

[Monica Padman]

It was for sure.

[Dax Shepard]

Yeah, yeah.

[Monica Padman]

It was life saving. It was a life raft.

[Dax Shepard]

Uh huh.

[Monica Padman]

I don't know. There's just not there. There aren't words in the English language.

[Dax Shepard]

I wonder if Lisa's thing. There's a myriad of reasons why that's hard to accept.

[Monica Padman]

Yeah. How can you.

[Dax Shepard]

And let's be honest, like a lot of people feel that way.

[Monica Padman]

Of course.

[Dax Shepard]

Right. So it's like I, even the most grounded person at some point would come to expect that that's the effect it had on people. Because you've, you've heard that a million.

[Monica Padman]

Yes.

[Dax Shepard]

So I think you're trying to elevate. What you want to do is give this person who's very nice. I just met Monica Padman. I want her to know that I've received it because really now I'm doing something for you. Which is interesting because the goal is you. You want to do something for her. Right. You want to tell her, I really am grateful for you.

[Monica Padman]

Yeah.

[Dax Shepard]

Truly. Maybe that's a way to say it. By the way.

[Monica Padman]

That is a good way to say it.

[Dax Shepard]

Yeah. Like I'm just personally grateful. Grateful that on this trip you were in my sphere and you just gave me so much relief and happiness. Okay. Right. But I do think that maybe she's in a position where she's got to act like it's the first time she's ever heard that or something.

[Monica Padman]

Maybe. I mean, I'm not gonna do that. Like that's not my job.

[Dax Shepard]

Right. To worry about.

[Monica Padman]

Worry about the way she's gonna receive it. I'm not gonna play that game.

[Dax Shepard]

Oh yeah.

[Monica Padman]

But I, I am anymore. Maybe at one point in my life I would have, but whatever. I can't. But I just, I do feel what you're saying. There is nothing new I can say to her.

[Dax Shepard]

To be clear, I don't think you should have not done that just because of whatever her reaction is. I think it's good for you to be able to express your gratitude for the people that you have.

[Monica Padman]

Gratitude for me too. But I guess that's where it gets heady. It's like I want to be able.

[Dax Shepard]

To tell her, yeah, and you should.

[Monica Padman]

Accurately. But I can't tell her accurately, because I don't have. I really do not have the physical words to do.

[Dax Shepard]

So you'd have to open your chest and invite her into your heart and let her feel what it felt like and then release her.

[Monica Padman]

There's no way. So everything you say just starts. Fall is sounding dumb and trite and falling short. And it's just like, what's the point of any of this anyway? And she hears it all the time. And is it for.

[Lisa Kudrow]

For her?

[Monica Padman]

Like, is it for her or is it for me?

[Dax Shepard]

I think it'd be okay if it was for you. Yeah, I don't think that would be bad, I guess.

[Monica Padman]

Yeah, I guess I think it'd be.

[Dax Shepard]

Crazy if you didn't tell people how much you appreciate them.

[Monica Padman]

I agree. And I think.

[Dax Shepard]

And their reaction is. Their reaction. I just enjoy imagining what her reaction is or what she's going through. But in no way am I suggesting you shouldn't. I think you should do that always.

[Monica Padman]

Yeah. It's just hard to. In something so meaningful.

[Dax Shepard]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Monica Padman]

This happened with Matt Damon, too. Same thing. It's like, I sure, I can sit here and we can talk about the camping trip and that. We can. We can do it, but it's never going to.

[Dax Shepard]

Well, here's a. Like, a darker examination of. It is part of the frustration, because this is part of mine is like, I know Letterman, you've heard from people that they like your show, but you need to understand that, like, I like it on another level. There's none of that.

[Monica Padman]

It's not like. It's not a competition thing. Okay, it's not. I know, but you really don't understand.

[Dax Shepard]

See, I have a tiny bit of that. That's like, a lot of people laughed at your show, but I'm like, oh, I can be who I am because you exist.

[Monica Padman]

Well, yeah, but that's. Right. But that's. I think other people had that, too.

[Lisa Kudrow]

Yeah.

[Dax Shepard]

Adam Scott had that. Kimmel had that. Most of the people I know actually have.

[Monica Padman]

I don't think I'm a special case.

[Dax Shepard]

But I. I want to be a special case, though. Do you?

[Monica Padman]

Yeah. Everyone wants to be a special case. I would just want to be a special case in life.

[Dax Shepard]

Juice across the board.

[Monica Padman]

Yeah. I just want to be a very special case. Special case. We should get a shirt that says a special case.

[Dax Shepard]

I was thinking the exact same thing. A special case.

[Monica Padman]

Everyone is a special case. Everyone is. Except that lady. Well, she's special, I guess. She's very.

[Dax Shepard]

She wants you to go to the doctor and tell them about a dream.

[Monica Padman]

It's just a disaster. I do think your sweaters.

[Dax Shepard]

Don't try. It is. I might have to table this guy.

[Lisa Kudrow]

No.

[Monica Padman]

It's so nice.

[Dax Shepard]

You know what? I have two of these.

[Monica Padman]

Oh, wow.

[Dax Shepard]

Yeah.

[Monica Padman]

There. It's really nice.

[Dax Shepard]

I have two of these. This is a part of my wastefulness. Luckily, I don't shop often, but I don't ever go to a store.

[Monica Padman]

Right. I order online and you click number two.

[Dax Shepard]

I got an XL out of the Gates and I was like, too big. That's a skirt. Oh, it might be a great skirt for you.

[Monica Padman]

You mean a dress?

[Dax Shepard]

Yeah, a dress. A mini dress. Yeah. Picture this.

[Monica Padman]

Yeah.

[Dax Shepard]

But then longer, and then you put, like a belt around it.

[Monica Padman]

Oh, wow.

[Dax Shepard]

That's very 80s. Very cool. We'll try it.

[Monica Padman]

Okay.

[Dax Shepard]

Next fact check.

[Monica Padman]

Okay.

[Dax Shepard]

You'll be wearing my extra large version of this. It'll be. Oh, we'll both wear it. And I still look like it's snowing. Oh, my God. There really is shit flying everywhere.

[Monica Padman]

Yeah. It's all right. Okay. Now a few facts for her. Was Vassar the first women's college to offer science? No. The first women's college to offer science was the Troy Female Seminary in Troy, New York, which is now Emma Willard School.

[Dax Shepard]

Okay.

[Monica Padman]

She said it opened in 1861. It was founded in 1861, but it opened in 1865. It opened its doors in 18.

[Dax Shepard]

So we're guessing then that it got founded so it could get funded and then it took four or five years to build.

[Monica Padman]

Yeah.

[Dax Shepard]

Yeah.

[Monica Padman]

When did Vassar become co ed? 1969. She was right about that.

[Dax Shepard]

She nailed it.

[Monica Padman]

Yep.

[Dax Shepard]

She's very bright.

[Monica Padman]

Oh, my God. I know.

[Dax Shepard]

Yep.

[Monica Padman]

I mean, I'm not surprised. I don't think you. I really. Maybe this is.

[Dax Shepard]

I agree with what you're about to say.

[Monica Padman]

You can't be that funny and not.

[Dax Shepard]

You can't be a great comedian. You can not be pretty bright.

[Monica Padman]

Yeah.

[Dax Shepard]

Yeah. I mean, you can have done terrible in school, but you got to be bright.

[Monica Padman]

Yes.

[Dax Shepard]

Yeah.

[Monica Padman]

It's the timing. There's a math happening in your brain at all times when you're really performing.

[Dax Shepard]

Verbal dexterity to be constructing these things in a manner that is funny.

[Monica Padman]

Okay. The Easy E situation.

[Dax Shepard]

Oh, please tell me.

[Monica Padman]

Okay, Now, E went to three different high schools. He went to Compton High School.

[Dax Shepard]

Right.

[Monica Padman]

Manuel Dominguez High School.

[Dax Shepard]

Okay.

[Monica Padman]

And Taft High School, which is where she went. But he dropped out in 10th grade.

[Dax Shepard]

So he went to three high schools in two years.

[Monica Padman]

Correct.

[Dax Shepard]

That's too many high schools, a child.

[Monica Padman]

I agree. It wasn't for him.

[Dax Shepard]

No. And he was right.

[Monica Padman]

That's exactly.

[Dax Shepard]

Yeah.

[Monica Padman]

And so that. That clears that up. There was some confusion.

[Dax Shepard]

Right. No wonder she didn't bump into him. He was probably only there for a month or.

[Monica Padman]

Yeah. Okay. How tall is Ray Romano? 6. Two, according to the Internet.

[Dax Shepard]

Made up a song last night. Oh, you know. Feliz Navidad was with the girls decorating the tree. Kristen's out of town, so it's just three of us.

[Monica Padman]

Yeah.

[Dax Shepard]

And it came on, and I was singing Los Feliz Dad.

[Lisa Kudrow]

Hello.

[Dax Shepard]

I go, girls, you listen to a song about me.

[Monica Padman]

Oh, my God.

[Dax Shepard]

I'm still in a sweet spot where they think I'm funny. It's gonna end my life. Like, when they're 15 and 17 and I sing a Los Vila's dad, and they're like, this guy. I hope so.

[Monica Padman]

They'll laugh. You're funny.

[Dax Shepard]

If that all happens, I'll just. And they go, what the is this guy doing? I'll just walk down into the basement and I'll just stay there till my life's over. No, I'll stand in the middle of the basement. What happened?

[Monica Padman]

Listen, kids.

[Dax Shepard]

What. I'm gonna be like, what now? What the fuck am I gonna do?

[Monica Padman]

Listen, kids, can you do. Can you prepare yourself a little bit? That kids do grow up and.

[Dax Shepard]

And I'm not cool anymore.

[Monica Padman]

I roll a little bit, but it's laughing, loving.

[Dax Shepard]

I think it's a great motivation for me to stay sharp.

[Monica Padman]

Okay, great.

[Lisa Kudrow]

Yeah.

[Dax Shepard]

I think it might prevent me from going down the road that many comedians do, which is, like. They just get less funny.

[Monica Padman]

Okay.

[Dax Shepard]

But I'm gonna be one of my.

[Monica Padman]

You wanna stick with the tie?

[Dax Shepard]

Well, I gotta keep these girls laughing. That's my.

[Monica Padman]

Well, that means you can't be doing comedy from 2024. In 10 years, you gotta be like, that's not funny anymore to these people.

[Dax Shepard]

That's right. I'll do that.

[Monica Padman]

Okay. You said impermeable border about the house, and you didn't know if you said it right. Impermeable means not allowing fluid to pass through. Not liable to be affected by pain or distress. Okay. Does your right hemisphere control your left hand? Yes. Are cluster headaches due to damage to the hypothalamus? Yes. It's related. Are migraines worse for girls? Yes. Hemolegic migraines. Are they still called that hemilegic? Yes. She knew a lot. She made a little misstep with that science thing.

[Dax Shepard]

What science thing?

[Monica Padman]

Vassar first.

[Dax Shepard]

Oh, sure. That's. But we can forgive.

[Monica Padman]

But for the most part.

[Dax Shepard]

They probably told her that.

[Monica Padman]

I'm sure. Yeah, I'm sure they did. That's on them.

[Dax Shepard]

Yeah, I blame them.

[Monica Padman]

They were the first women's college to lie about being the first to offer science.

[Dax Shepard]

Yeah.

[Monica Padman]

Yeah.

[Dax Shepard]

That's a distinction.

[Monica Padman]

So that was her. And it was really just. She really is a blessing.

[Dax Shepard]

She is. You can believe in the word blessing without believing in God.

[Monica Padman]

I know. I just. I worry that people who truly believe in, like, blessings coming down from God.

[Dax Shepard]

Yeah.

[Monica Padman]

That they might think it's a joke.

[Dax Shepard]

It's not.

[Monica Padman]

And it's not.

[Dax Shepard]

No, I'm sincere about it, and I think they would be fine with it so long as they agreed it was a blessing. If I say the Big Mac's a blessing, although I think it is.

[Monica Padman]

Yes.

[Dax Shepard]

Look at it, man. It arrived in the 50s and it's still here.

[Monica Padman]

I know.

[Dax Shepard]

It's a blessing. I. So if you're mad about that, then.

[Monica Padman]

I guess send us an email.

[Dax Shepard]

Send Monica an email.

[Monica Padman]

All right. And I'm just going to end on reminding everyone that was a dream.

[Dax Shepard]

That's a big, big dream.

[Monica Padman]

Yeah.

[Dax Shepard]

Yeah.

[Monica Padman]

And that's.

[Dax Shepard]

And it's. It's a. It's a warm apple pie.

[Monica Padman]

All right.

[Lisa Kudrow]

Love you.

[Monica Padman]

Okay. Okay. By God.

[Dax Shepard]

Good night.

[Monica Padman]

I love you.

[Dax Shepard]

Love. Follow Armchair Expert on the Wondry app, Amazon Music, or wherever you get your podcasts. You can listen to every episode of Armchair Expert early and ad free right now by joining Wondry plus in the Wondry app or on Apple Podcasts. Before you go, tell us about yourself by completing a short [e-mail] survey they say Hollywood is where dreams are made.

[Lisa Kudrow]

A seductive city where many flock to get rich, be adored and capture America's heart.

[Dax Shepard]

But when the spotlight turns off, fame, fortune and lives can disappear in an instant. When TV producer Roy Raiden was found.

[Lisa Kudrow]

Dead in a Canyon near LA in.

[Dax Shepard]

1983, there were many questions surrounding his death. The the last person seen with him was Lainey Jacobs, a seductive cocaine dealer who desperately wanted to be part of the Hollywood elite. Together, they were trying to break into the movie industry. But things took a dark turn when a million dollars worth of cocaine and cash went missing. From Wondery comes a new season of the hit show Hollywood and crime, the Cotton Club Murder. Follow Hollywood in crime, the Cotton Murder.

[Lisa Kudrow]

On the Wondery app, or wherever you get your podcasts.

[Dax Shepard]

You can binge all episodes of the.

[Lisa Kudrow]

Cotton Club Murder early and ad free right now by joining Wondery Plus.