Melissa McCarthy & Ben Falcone

Summary

Armchair Expert Episode Summary: Melissa McCarthy & Ben Falcone

In this engaging episode of Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard, host Dax Shepard sits down with his longtime friends and collaborators, actress Melissa McCarthy and her husband Ben Falcone. Together, along with co-host Monica Padman, they delve deep into their enduring friendship, collaborative creative projects, and the unique dynamics of working closely both personally and professionally.

---

1. Introduction to Guests and Their Collaboration [00:00 - 05:00]

Dax Shepard warmly welcomes Melissa McCarthy and Ben Falcone, highlighting their extensive collaboration over the years. He reminisces about their early days working together in Los Angeles, emphasizing Ben's musical talents and their joint ventures in writing and directing.

Dax Shepard [00:53]: "He has the most beautiful voice and he's a great guitar player."

Melissa adds a touch of humor about Ben's endearing nervousness and their creative synergy.

---

2. Diving into the Podcast "Hildy, the Bar Back and the Lake of Fire" [05:00 - 20:00]

The trio discusses their new comedic podcast, "Hildy, the Bar Back and the Lake of Fire," likening it to a Game of Thrones-styled scripted podcast. They share insights into the creative process, from writing the script to managing production without a traditional studio setup.

Ben Falcone [08:34]: "That's our way."

Melissa reflects on their commitment to producing quality content despite the challenges.

Melissa McCarthy [09:07]: "It's so poorly done because it was good to see."

They highlight Melissa's experience collaborating with actor Glenn Close on the podcast, showcasing her admiration for Close's commitment to authentic performances.

Melissa McCarthy [13:19]: "I just couldn't conceive of your emotions being so powerful that it's physical."

---

3. Balancing Marriage and Creative Partnership [20:00 - 40:00]

Melissa and Ben open up about maintaining their marriage while working closely on creative projects. They discuss the initial challenges of navigating a romantic relationship within a professional setting and how mutual support and understanding have fortified their bond.

Melissa McCarthy [27:50]: "If you love the person, you love the person, and you're rooting for them the whole time."

Ben emphasizes the importance of never undermining each other's talents and always rooting for one another's success.

Ben Falcone [28:38]: "I thought I could maybe help write those things, but I didn't ever think I could execute them as a performer."

---

4. Anecdotes from Early Careers and Groundlings Experience [40:00 - 60:00]

The conversation shifts to their formative years at the Groundlings, sharing humorous and nostalgic stories about early performances, writing sessions, and the challenges of live comedy. They recount memorable sketches, behind-the-scenes mishaps, and the development of their comedic styles.

Melissa McCarthy [56:54]: "This is a good challenge to not be so attached."

Ben shares his experience working at California Pizza Kitchen (CPK), including a memorable secret shopper incident that led to his departure.

Ben Falcone [47:28]: "Sometimes they would want you to push liquor during the day."

---

5. Creative Processes and Project Development [60:00 - 80:00]

Melissa and Ben delve into their approach to writing and directing films together, discussing their projects like "Tammy the Boss," "Life of the Party," and "Thunder Force." They explore the intricacies of co-creating content, balancing creative visions, and the joy of bringing their unique ideas to life.

Melissa McCarthy [67:17]: "There's an extensive story we haven't shared yet."

They touch upon their podcasting efforts, illustrating how their collaborative spirit extends beyond traditional media.

Ben Falcone [76:00]: "It's been amazing just to bring the family together and see who can do what and pitch in."

---

6. Personal Stories and Life Outside Work [80:00 - 100:00]

The trio shares personal anecdotes unrelated to their professional lives, including Monica's unfortunate experience with a bee sting that led to a humorous yet precarious situation involving a stuck ring. These stories highlight their camaraderie and the ability to find humor in everyday mishaps.

Monica Padman [90:00]: "I decided to maintain my integrity. You know, I'm a real crossroads here before we go to this game."

Dax reminisces about his own early job experiences and how they parallel the challenges faced by his friends.

Dax Shepard [46:02]: "He countered at 8. Not even fucking 9 or 10."

---

7. Reflections on Comedy and Its Evolution [100:00 - End]

In the concluding part of the episode, they reflect on the state of modern comedy, the importance of representation, and the cyclical nature of comedic trends. Dax shares his admiration for shows like The English Teacher, emphasizing the need for humor that both entertains and provokes thought.

Dax Shepard [120:15]: "I was very supportive of you rooting for Georgia. And I don't know why you were so mad I was rooting for Texas."

Melissa passionately defends the role of comedy in providing relief and fostering human connection.

Melissa McCarthy [78:37]: "I think we'll circle back."

They express gratitude for their enduring friendships and collaborative endeavors, underscoring the fulfillment they find in their joint artistic achievements.

---

Key Takeaways

• Enduring Friendship: Melissa McCarthy and Ben Falcone's long-standing friendship from their Groundlings days has blossomed into a dynamic creative partnership.

• Collaborative Creativity: Their ability to co-write, co-direct, and co-create content like podcasts and films showcases a harmonious blend of talents and mutual respect.

• Balancing Personal and Professional: Successfully navigating a marriage intertwined with professional collaboration requires communication, compromise, and unwavering support.

• Humor in Life's Mishaps: Personal stories, like Monica's bee sting incident, highlight their ability to find humor and maintain camaraderie outside of their work.

• Evolution of Comedy: Reflecting on modern comedic landscapes, they emphasize the importance of representation and the cyclical nature of comedic trends, believing that authentic humor remains essential.

---

This episode offers listeners an intimate look into the lives of three creative individuals, exploring the depths of their collaborations, personal lives, and philosophies on comedy. Whether you're a fan of Melissa McCarthy's comedic brilliance or intrigued by the dynamics of creative partnerships, this episode provides valuable insights and hearty laughs.

Transcript

[Dax Shepard]

Wondry plus subscribers can listen to Armchair Expert early and ad free right now. Join Wondry plus in the Wondry app or on Apple podcasts or you can listen for free wherever you get your podcasts. Welcome, welcome, welcome to Armchair Expert. I'm Dan Shepard and I'm joined by Lily Padman. And we have returning Melissa McCarthy. But now, very exciting. My one of my oldest friends in la, Ben Falcone.

[Monica Padman]

Yes, the duo Ben has been more.

[Dax Shepard]

And more in my life now. He's lovely and I just like it so much. I'm reminded of what a sweet boy Ben Falcone is.

[Monica Padman]

You'll hear he's a little bit of a fraidy cat and it's really cute.

[Dax Shepard]

You know what I wish he had done is brought his guitar, sang and played for you. He has the most beautiful voice and he's a great guitar player. And a lot of his sketches were singing and they were so good.

[Monica Padman]

Oh my God.

[Dax Shepard]

He and I wrote a song once called Kaleidoscope and we would spell out the who thing. That was KL. Okay. Melissa McCarthy, of course. Bridesmaids, Gilmore Girl Spy, Ben Bridesmaids, Tammy. He directed four or five of their movies together. And they have a new podcast called Hildy, the Bar Back and the Lake of Fire. It's very comedic. Game of Thrones scripted podcast. Very well done, very funny. So everyone check out Hildy, the Bar Back and the Lake of Fire. Please enjoy. Melissa McCarthy and Ben Falcone. We are supported by Audible. We know you love audio content. Thanks for listening to the show. But if your ears are craving more audio, Audible is the place to go. I probably, in truth spend more time on Audible than any other place, any other app. Yeah, I'm listening every night for an hour before bed. There's more to imagine when you listen. Whether you're searching for the latest bestsellers and new releases or you want to catch up on a classic title, you can find it all in the Audible app. And as an Audible member, you choose one title a month to keep from their entire catalog.

[Monica Padman]

What are you listening to now?

[Dax Shepard]

Well, I'm just finishing the Worlds I See by Feife Lee. It's so good and moving and I love it so much. I'm. I'm sad it's ending now. Listen. New members can try Audible for free for 330 days. Visit audible.comdax or text DAX to 500. 500. That's audible.comdax or text Dax to 500. 500. The new Apple Watch Series 10 is here.

[Ben Falcone]

It has the biggest display ever it's also the thinnest Apple watch ever, making it even more comfortable on your wrist. And it's the fastest charging Apple watch, getting you 8 hours of charge in just 15 minutes. Introducing the all new Apple Watch Series.

[Melissa McCarthy]

10 now available for the first time.

[Ben Falcone]

In glossy jet black aluminum compared to previous generation. IPhone Xs are later required. Charge time and actual results will vary.

[Dax Shepard]

Ben, you as well. This is a very cute look for you.

[Ben Falcone]

Oh, thank you very much.

[Melissa McCarthy]

Don't you agree I'm kind of crazy about it?

[Monica Padman]

Yeah.

[Dax Shepard]

It's shocking to me you haven't been cast in a period piece.

[Ben Falcone]

Well, there's still time.

[Dax Shepard]

Still time.

[Ben Falcone]

And McCarthy, you look beautiful.

[Dax Shepard]

Right, well, hey said to Melissa really quick. Do you call her McCarthy?

[Ben Falcone]

Mostly I call her McCarthy or Mooch.

[Melissa McCarthy]

That was Mooch. For 20 some years I did not think my betrothed would be like, hey Mooch.

[Ben Falcone]

Hey Mooch.

[Melissa McCarthy]

When did I become like a Milwaukee bowler?

[Ben Falcone]

Her habit though is we could be talking for 25 minutes and then the minute I leave I'm like okay, I'm gonna go use the restroom. Whatever I'm gonna do. Hey Ben. That's when she remembers.

[Melissa McCarthy]

I'd like to say that's not true, but it's like 100% true the second he's walked away. Oh, hey Ben. Hey Ben.

[Dax Shepard]

And your nickname for Ben is Ban ban ban ban ban. Yeah, I'll say Belle a lot too because it's shortest. And also where I grew up, everyone went by last names. That's how you knew you were really good friends. Did you guys do that bell cone?

[Melissa McCarthy]

No, nobody has ever really called me. That's difficult to do with a lady nail.

[Monica Padman]

Oh yeah, you have pretty lady nails.

[Dax Shepard]

On and a really long. Oh, what is that thing?

[Melissa McCarthy]

It's just finger jewelry, dad.

[Dax Shepard]

Oh my God.

[Melissa McCarthy]

I mean your basic stuff.

[Dax Shepard]

Also Amazon or that's from a real collection.

[Melissa McCarthy]

This is real. Everything on me. I'm prob under this was brought to you by Bezos.

[Monica Padman]

Really?

[Dax Shepard]

You guys are going to be rubbing salve cortisone on each other tonight.

[Melissa McCarthy]

So much I'll be like, I don't know what that bump is. Definitely irritated.

[Dax Shepard]

Tell me it's not a boil bang ban.

[Monica Padman]

For people who are only listening, you should give a context of what's going on.

[Dax Shepard]

Yeah. So Ben and Melissa came adorned in I guess medieval middle ages.

[Ben Falcone]

Yeah, garbage.

[Dax Shepard]

And I got to say, right out of the gates, I thought for sure yours, McCarthy.

[Ben Falcone]

Yes.

[Dax Shepard]

You had spent a fortune on. Because it looks couture. It looks really nice.

[Melissa McCarthy]

I Mean, it's like you put enough random pieces together and you just might.

[Dax Shepard]

Get something you've kind of piecemeal this.

[Melissa McCarthy]

This is like one bodysuit over another. It's like I'm wearing dua unitard.

[Monica Padman]

Wow.

[Melissa McCarthy]

And just in my, I guess, crotch panel.

[Dax Shepard]

Crotch plate.

[Melissa McCarthy]

Just to keep it more classy.

[Dax Shepard]

I remember and protected. Those Middle Ages, they were coming hard.

[Ben Falcone]

For coming after the crotch, this area was in danger.

[Dax Shepard]

So, Melissa, I don't even know how I would verbally describe this, but you're in kind of faux chainmail with fluorescent under scaling.

[Melissa McCarthy]

It's a lime green unitard. And then over that I've put in my head was supposed to look like dragon.

[Monica Padman]

Yes, it looks like dragon.

[Melissa McCarthy]

Dragon. What do you.

[Monica Padman]

Scales.

[Melissa McCarthy]

Scales. And then finger bedobbles.

[Dax Shepard]

And nice leather shoulder plates. A big cross section of leather across the breast.

[Melissa McCarthy]

So it's medieval with, like a whisper of gimp.

[Dax Shepard]

Yes. Yes. It really does look like the famous gimp outfit. Much more artistically.

[Ben Falcone]

Thank you. Thank you. That's what I was going for.

[Dax Shepard]

You look like a learned man from the Middle Ages.

[Ben Falcone]

Yeah. I should have, like, a pipe and a big book.

[Dax Shepard]

Yeah, you can read and you're good with letters.

[Ben Falcone]

Yeah.

[Dax Shepard]

And papaya.

[Monica Padman]

Papaya.

[Dax Shepard]

I meant papaya.

[Ben Falcone]

I thought you were just going, he likes fruit.

[Melissa McCarthy]

Dax always kind of distinguishes personalities by fruit specific fruit moments.

[Dax Shepard]

You know, McCarthy, she's a real banana. That's what I'd say about you. I won ant. If I had to pick a sweet, what would you.

[Monica Padman]

Now, this is a fun game.

[Dax Shepard]

Oh, kiwi.

[Melissa McCarthy]

I'm a kiwi.

[Dax Shepard]

Or you're a kiwi, you're a kiwi.

[Melissa McCarthy]

I'm a kiwi.

[Dax Shepard]

Yeah, yeah.

[Monica Padman]

Furry. No.

[Dax Shepard]

Well, I said that because that's my favorite fruit. It's so sweet and yummy, but also mild. It's a milder fruit.

[Melissa McCarthy]

It's a mild fruit.

[Dax Shepard]

It is, right?

[Melissa McCarthy]

Also, I just watched something where someone's like, oh, you're missing out. You should be eating the outside, too. And I was like, no, I don't.

[Monica Padman]

Oh, absolutely not. No.

[Melissa McCarthy]

But they were like, you're missing all this. Good. I'm like, I'm not eating fried.

[Ben Falcone]

I don't want that. Yeah.

[Monica Padman]

So did you have a sketch at somewhere that you said a big hit of kiwi? Because our friend Jess says that all the time, and I believe it's you.

[Dax Shepard]

Well, their friend Jessica.

[Monica Padman]

Ding, ding, ding.

[Melissa McCarthy]

Giant Jess.

[Dax Shepard]

Giant Halt.

[Melissa McCarthy]

Jess.

[Dax Shepard]

Giant halts.

[Melissa McCarthy]

We just saw him not too long ago.

[Dax Shepard]

Affectionately known as Giant Jess.

[Monica Padman]

Yes, he's a Banana. Gj.

[Melissa McCarthy]

Which is.

[Ben Falcone]

He's a banana?

[Melissa McCarthy]

Yeah.

[Monica Padman]

Is he a banana with that height?

[Melissa McCarthy]

No. I don't seem as a carrot.

[Monica Padman]

Strawberry. Well, that's not a fruit at all.

[Dax Shepard]

You're right.

[Melissa McCarthy]

This is embarrassing. Wow.

[Dax Shepard]

It's really easy to get it wrong in this game. I feel like people are gonna be offended by whatever reason.

[Melissa McCarthy]

This could be a pineapple.

[Monica Padman]

Oh, I like that.

[Dax Shepard]

Prickly.

[Melissa McCarthy]

No, a plume. Yeah, a plume on top.

[Ben Falcone]

And pineapple's delicious.

[Monica Padman]

Very.

[Melissa McCarthy]

Oh, by the way, Ben eats. People could not think of the word cannibal to save my life. So I was like, he does that thing where people eat other. You know what? I don't even remember where I was going.

[Monica Padman]

Cannibalism.

[Dax Shepard]

Cannibalism. Okay, all this is because you guys have a podcast, which is. Well, let me just start by saying it's interesting that you got into the podcast space in the hardest possible way to do it. Which is.

[Ben Falcone]

That's our way, dad.

[Dax Shepard]

Holy script, dude.

[Melissa McCarthy]

Oh, it's a terrible idea.

[Ben Falcone]

So hard.

[Dax Shepard]

Super produced. Incredibly well done. I'll add. I keep thinking I'm bumping into something and it's my horns are squeaking on my head. I don't know how long I can go with the horns to have head hives, for sure. Oh, I just have a big line of sweat.

[Ben Falcone]

Maybe lose it.

[Dax Shepard]

Table that for a second. Okay. But yeah, the amount of work on your plate is hefty for this.

[Ben Falcone]

Yeah.

[Melissa McCarthy]

Super high work effort.

[Ben Falcone]

Cost us a good little bit. Hard to break even.

[Melissa McCarthy]

We're the studio. No one's part of it, just us.

[Dax Shepard]

Sure, sure, sure.

[Melissa McCarthy]

Really wrote something that is incredibly visual, but you'll never see it. So really, you stack that deck up and you're like, wow, we were like.

[Ben Falcone]

Two wrongs don't make it right. But what about like, six?

[Melissa McCarthy]

It was so poorly done because it was good to see.

[Dax Shepard]

I actually think it's fantastic, but it's just so much work.

[Melissa McCarthy]

What was really shocking is then just we kept asking people to do it. We were like, will we even get through the explanation? And then it was pretty shocking when people were like, oh, yeah.

[Dax Shepard]

Who are you most nervous to approach because you have Glenn Close? That one seemed really nerve wracking to explain what this would be to her.

[Melissa McCarthy]

She's so funny and loves, like, a weird thing. So I was like, I think this might be right. And close as we all.

[Ben Falcone]

And what was interesting was you were out of town. So you zoomed in and said, hi, I have met Glenn a couple times, just at functions. And stuff. But at first it was, we have a very quick VO for you to do. And then I was like, what if she actually wants to do something fun? So that morning I went in super early and wrote five pages. So her stuff gets more and more and it develops with Octavia as it goes. But what I found was, I was so glad I did because she really wanted to do more.

[Dax Shepard]

She's incredible. I don't want to say anyone's the best part, but I was like, wow, she fucking brought it for this. And then I assumed you guys are super close. You're not.

[Melissa McCarthy]

We have not worked together. We're trying to work together, but we've known each other for years. A crossroads in my life. She was in town, we were going to go out to dinner, and we were talking about two different things. And then before we got off the phone, after we said, oh, let's have dinner tonight. And she's like, can I stay over tonight? I leave in the morning. And I was like, yes, you can. I'm going close.

[Ben Falcone]

Yes, you can. And I literally was like, clean up.

[Dax Shepard]

Close to seven and sleepover.

[Ben Falcone]

And I was in Australia. So jealous.

[Melissa McCarthy]

I was like a little bit out of body just to do you.

[Dax Shepard]

Were you with the kids who had.

[Ben Falcone]

I was with the kids, yeah.

[Dax Shepard]

It was just you two in the home.

[Melissa McCarthy]

And I was like, absolutely. You can. At any moment, with no advance notice, Glenn can sleep at night.

[Dax Shepard]

Here's a key to the home. Feel free to use it. Or not. So first you guys went out to dinner, and it was a fun dinner.

[Melissa McCarthy]

Fun dinner.

[Dax Shepard]

Cocktails.

[Melissa McCarthy]

Cocktails.

[Dax Shepard]

Everyone's relaxed.

[Melissa McCarthy]

Super relaxed. She's really funny. We're talking about all this stuff going off on random stories. Great dinner. And then we got in jammies and said goodnight, and it was wonderful.

[Dax Shepard]

Okay, so no post dinner in jammies. Was there any TV or anything?

[Melissa McCarthy]

No, there wasn't. Because we got home pretty late and she was leaving really early in the morning.

[Dax Shepard]

Okay.

[Monica Padman]

Dax always thinks when girls have sleepovers, they fuck.

[Dax Shepard]

That's where this was head.

[Melissa McCarthy]

I thought pillow fight was going to be said. I didn't anticipate.

[Dax Shepard]

Well, that's obviously one of the stepping stones. En route to the ultimate. What if you'd have gotten a call from McCarthy and she said, Ben, I did fuck Ms. Close last night. I need you to know this.

[Ben Falcone]

I'd be like, all right. Yeah.

[Monica Padman]

I'd be like, I get it.

[Ben Falcone]

I mean, I get it. She's wonderful.

[Melissa McCarthy]

But I always want to know, where did that start with, like, tickle Party and, like, pillow fight. I'm like, never in my life. The only time I've probably hit someone with a pillow was, like, my sister and I fighting, and I was like, I'm gonna fucking knock your block off.

[Dax Shepard]

Yeah.

[Melissa McCarthy]

Yeah.

[Monica Padman]

Like, it wasn't, like, flirty.

[Dax Shepard]

Yeah.

[Melissa McCarthy]

And I've never, to my knowledge, tickled one of my friends.

[Dax Shepard]

Well, we know where it came from. It came from movies. That Gu Road.

[Ben Falcone]

Yeah.

[Dax Shepard]

That's what they dreamed was happening.

[Melissa McCarthy]

That's my question. Why is that, like, man, I'd love to see her.

[Ben Falcone]

Tickle her.

[Melissa McCarthy]

Ooh, look at her tickling her.

[Dax Shepard]

Pick up the pillow.

[Melissa McCarthy]

Oh, my God.

[Monica Padman]

She's gonna hit her with pillow.

[Dax Shepard]

Only hit her so soft and hard with the pillow.

[Monica Padman]

Oh, God.

[Dax Shepard]

Hit her soft and hard, but then too soft. And then too soft, too soft. She doesn't like that. Gail doesn't like it. She wants more hard.

[Ben Falcone]

Oh, Gail. Now, I want Dax to write that full scene.

[Dax Shepard]

If I run an entire. That takes place at a pillow fight.

[Ben Falcone]

It's just one escalating tickle pillow.

[Melissa McCarthy]

Then there's a danger element because one of the women has a foam pillow. So it's. It's more.

[Dax Shepard]

Yes. The one that's the hypoallergenic member of the crew.

[Melissa McCarthy]

I'm waiting to get this script.

[Dax Shepard]

Okay. I do have playing a very pivotal role.

[Melissa McCarthy]

Am I the pillow?

[Dax Shepard]

Is there a thing about Glenn that you kind of latched onto that you like about her, or is she mentory to you?

[Melissa McCarthy]

She has never taken a wrong turn, and she has such a long career. And I remember seeing Dangerous Liaisons. She broke my brain. There's that moment toward the end when she stands up and she gets, like, jeered by the audience. Before you could do CGI stuff, you see her through her white makeup. Her cheeks really flush red, and it's on camera, which means she started in one thing and then fully flush red within the take. And I remember being, like, not scared me. But I just couldn't conceive of your emotions being so powerful that it's physical. I latched onto that of something to strive for, that you're so in it in reality, that it's coming out physically.

[Dax Shepard]

Yeah. Cause you can fake crying a bit. There can be. What do they put? Menthol?

[Melissa McCarthy]

Yeah, menthol and stuff.

[Ben Falcone]

Glycerin stuff.

[Dax Shepard]

And presumably, people can just start crying. But, yeah, making your cheeks flush, that would be better than wiggling your ears. That'd be crazy control.

[Melissa McCarthy]

It's crazy control and then crazy out of control all at the Same time.

[Dax Shepard]

Octavia's an easy pitch. We had Octavia since we've had you, and it was so much fun. Who met Octavia first? You did. Yeah, Melissa.

[Melissa McCarthy]

We met her at the same time at Groundlings.

[Dax Shepard]

Did you. Did you guys have early levels together?

[Ben Falcone]

Yeah, we met in lab. So we were writing stuff, and Tate was in that class, and that's when we started seeing Octavia.

[Melissa McCarthy]

Octavia would come to watch the shows when we were at the Groundlings, and her laugh was so infectious and crazy because she does have the best laugh in the universe, that the shows would go better. And then we started getting panicky, and we would call Tate and be like, your friend's coming. Right? I've got a new sketch to put in. So she started coming more and more and more, and when she was in the audience, she has such a big laugh, but it's not.

[Ben Falcone]

It wasn't fake.

[Melissa McCarthy]

It wasn't fake. And it just makes everyone else be like, oh, this is wonderful. So we were, like, stacking the deck.

[Dax Shepard]

Yeah. She rises the whole tide.

[Ben Falcone]

Yeah.

[Dax Shepard]

Okay. So we all met. I'm not sure since we never had classes.

[Ben Falcone]

It was like, between levels. Right.

[Melissa McCarthy]

God, what year is that?

[Ben Falcone]

This would have been mid to late 90s.

[Dax Shepard]

I'm just wondering how we ended up all in a group together yet. I don't think I had had classes with anybody.

[Melissa McCarthy]

I don't know. And what was it called? The Barry Foote something?

[Ben Falcone]

No, we were the House of Floyd.

[Melissa McCarthy]

Oh, House of Floyd.

[Ben Falcone]

Weren't we the House of Floyd? Remember we did a show at the Coronet the. And we had to cancel the show because no one showed up.

[Melissa McCarthy]

You guys made me go outside to tell him we can't do the show.

[Ben Falcone]

For one person because we were doing this artsy thing of like, well, there's one member of the audience. Do we need to do the show? And Melissa's like, no.

[Melissa McCarthy]

Then I had to go out and tell him, and he wasn't like, oh, I get it. He was like, well, this is ridiculous. I bought a ticket. I'm like, it's a 300 seat audience, and you're the only one we can't do. He was so mad at me.

[Dax Shepard]

It was.

[Monica Padman]

Was it sketch or improv or both?

[Melissa McCarthy]

Sketch, I think that was. Sketch.

[Dax Shepard]

Yeah.

[Melissa McCarthy]

I can't remember any sketches from that. Did you do your grocery guy?

[Dax Shepard]

Yeah, we had a sketch where we fell in love.

[Ben Falcone]

That's the grocery guy. And you were.

[Dax Shepard]

You were doing samples. You were handing out samples.

[Melissa McCarthy]

Weirdly. That's a chestnut. I Pulled out quite often. I have always been obsessed in real life with people handing out samples at a grocery store. And I think I've written like multiple sketches about it.

[Monica Padman]

Because why? What's their psychology?

[Melissa McCarthy]

I like having surprise snacks. You round the corner and someone's like, would you like to try this Colby cheese? I'm like, sure as shit would.

[Ben Falcone]

Yeah.

[Melissa McCarthy]

Or like a summer sausage thing. And you're like, I would like a piece of summer sausage.

[Dax Shepard]

My dad's weekend was planned around going to Costco on the day where they had many, many samples. And he got in numerous fights with other people who were either trying to get too many samples or maybe he was trying to get too many samples. He was asked to stop coming to his Costco cause he had been in so many dust ups over the samples.

[Melissa McCarthy]

See, and I was kidding.

[Dax Shepard]

One time he goes, let's go up to Costco. I'm going to bring you with me. I bet they'll let me in.

[Monica Padman]

Oh my God, what a wonderful.

[Ben Falcone]

Was this when you were sort of a celebrity person? And that's when he was like, oh, you'll get me into Costco.

[Dax Shepard]

To Costco. He had been asked to not of.

[Melissa McCarthy]

All the wheels you want greased. It's like, can you get me into that Costco? I'm banned.

[Ben Falcone]

That's wonderful.

[Melissa McCarthy]

That's pretty good.

[Dax Shepard]

This is a fun opportunity for me to ask about your guys original love affair. Because I was very much in the group. You guys had a secret love affair. Do you remember it being secret?

[Monica Padman]

Clandestine?

[Ben Falcone]

It was fairly clandestine. Especially you were right there when we just were starting to go out or not.

[Melissa McCarthy]

Yeah, because it was that thing of we were all friends and then you didn't want to be like, well, maybe we've started smooching. We didn't know how to bring it up. And then what if we brought it up and then it went away? And then I also thought, oh my gosh, what if this doesn't work out? Ben's like my best friend and what if this screws it up? And then Mike McDonald, he busted you or he busted. He busted at the snake pit. I think it's still there. Maybe on Melrose, just to die.

[Ben Falcone]

Not far from grandma.

[Dax Shepard]

That's where you went after class.

[Melissa McCarthy]

You always go there after class. And Mike McDonald, there's probably like 10 of us around a table and just would not drop eye contact with me. And literally he kept looking at Ben and then staring at me. And then he made some rather pornographic hand gestures.

[Dax Shepard]

He did.

[Melissa McCarthy]

And he said, I know oh. And I was like, I don't know what you're talking about.

[Dax Shepard]

He cornered?

[Melissa McCarthy]

No, he never moved from the table. So it's like everybody's talking, and he's just like. And I was like, no, I'm not talking to you. And he's like, I know.

[Monica Padman]

Cat's out of the bag.

[Melissa McCarthy]

Cat's out of the bag.

[Ben Falcone]

Cat's out of the bag.

[Dax Shepard]

Guys. So you've been married for 19 years, but you were together for how long?

[Melissa McCarthy]

19 to tonight?

[Dax Shepard]

Tomorrow.

[Ben Falcone]

Tomorrow?

[Dax Shepard]

What if your anniversary fell on tonight? It was the only anniversary that came in the evening, not at the beginning of the day. Wait, tomorrow's your anniversary?

[Melissa McCarthy]

Yeah. 19 years.

[Dax Shepard]

Of wedding.

[Ben Falcone]

Of wedding.

[Dax Shepard]

Yeah. We might have a same anniversary. Or if not really close. I'm not sure on our date, but I know it's October.

[Ben Falcone]

How many years?

[Dax Shepard]

11. Married.

[Melissa McCarthy]

We've been together, what, 26?

[Ben Falcone]

Yeah, we dated a while before that.

[Monica Padman]

But were you guys, like, writing sketches at your house? And then here we go. You know, there's like, oh, my pen. I dropped it.

[Dax Shepard]

Oh, wow.

[Ben Falcone]

Well, so you're writing your own version of Dax's pillows.

[Melissa McCarthy]

Are you gonna go into a pillow fight scenario?

[Ben Falcone]

She's gonna do a writing session movie. Start tickling each other.

[Melissa McCarthy]

We tickled our way into two children.

[Monica Padman]

Speaking of tickling. Cause you did ask, why is that hot? I kind of get why tickling is hot.

[Dax Shepard]

Oh, tell me.

[Monica Padman]

Because it's like that loss.

[Dax Shepard]

Ooh.

[Ben Falcone]

Oh, okay.

[Monica Padman]

A little bit adjacent.

[Dax Shepard]

Tickling is orgasm adjacent. If someone's truly tickling you, you can't do anything but be tickled.

[Melissa McCarthy]

Right?

[Monica Padman]

Give it a whirl.

[Melissa McCarthy]

Ben just blacks out. Oh, that went. That did not go as planned.

[Dax Shepard]

You have your special feather that you got off of Amazon. Yeah, I wonder if people have ever tried to coordinate that.

[Monica Padman]

Well, David Ferrier's movie Tickles. Have you guys ever seen that documentary?

[Ben Falcone]

No.

[Melissa McCarthy]

No, but I've heard about it.

[Monica Padman]

It's creepy.

[Dax Shepard]

The premise was he noticed these videos online and the premise was like competitive tickling. And then he noticed, well, all the participants are 17 to 19 year old, very buff boys. So that's interesting that they're the only ones that are into this competitive tickling.

[Melissa McCarthy]

Do you go to like a meet?

[Dax Shepard]

You would have a tickle off in a room and he's like, something stinks here. And he started investigating. It turns out there was this man in New York who was funding all this, and really he just wanted videos of. Of young athletic boys tickling each other. And then he spends a Great deal of time tracking this man down. And he's of course, very weird. And then he starts coming to the screenings of the movies once it gets to Sundance and there's like a follow up doc with the guy got sued a bunch of times.

[Melissa McCarthy]

I always meant to watch that. I don't know how that came off the list.

[Monica Padman]

It's really good.

[Dax Shepard]

It's really good. And it's so convoluted. I have some compassion for the guy. Cause he just wants to play around and tickle, but he couldn't allow himself. Cause he's older.

[Melissa McCarthy]

Did he participate in the tickling?

[Dax Shepard]

I think it's some weird corruption of having a secret, you know what I'm saying? Like, I think he would have liked to have been an openly gay guy in the 80s. And he came into all this money and then I think not being able to live out that thing, it got obscured into this weird. That's how he could experience it.

[Melissa McCarthy]

This makes me sad.

[Dax Shepard]

It does. And he is a bad guy.

[Monica Padman]

You can be bad and good. No, you can be bad and you can have passion and sad. Yeah.

[Dax Shepard]

Okay, back to the writing sessions. Were you guys ever blurring the lines during writing sessions?

[Ben Falcone]

I don't think during writing sessions, guys kept it really. I was like, well, this sketch is very important.

[Melissa McCarthy]

Also, I don't know if it really set the mood when one of us was like, I come in like this.

[Ben Falcone]

And I'll be like this old man.

[Melissa McCarthy]

What we were doing and what we visually look like at Groundlings, the fact that somehow that stirred the pot was pretty amazing.

[Dax Shepard]

But it was a hotbed for sexual tension, wasn't it?

[Ben Falcone]

Oh, my goodness, yes.

[Dax Shepard]

Oh, I was always so horny and tensed up in class. I think seeing women be hysterical was very hot. Yeah, I do.

[Monica Padman]

Jiggler's hot.

[Dax Shepard]

Yeah. You're watching someone be great at the thing they're great at.

[Melissa McCarthy]

That's true.

[Dax Shepard]

That's appealing attractive. You've gotten out of the way all the normal embarrassment jitters you'd have.

[Melissa McCarthy]

You've already hit rock bottom so fast when you're in Ill Fitting Docker. You know, a tube top and a wig not unlike what Ben's wearing right now. Is that a page boy? I think.

[Ben Falcone]

I think it's a page boy wig.

[Dax Shepard]

I have the worst admission to make. I thought that was your real hair with a hat on over it. Even though I just saw you and clearly that's not your hair. But now I'm realizing that, no, that's it.

[Ben Falcone]

And in fact, pretty much I gotta Take this wig off in a second.

[Dax Shepard]

No.

[Ben Falcone]

I love that.

[Melissa McCarthy]

It's like a Tony Tenille. Just a little thunder.

[Dax Shepard]

What's Tony Tenille?

[Melissa McCarthy]

Captain.

[Dax Shepard]

Okay.

[Melissa McCarthy]

Just kind of keeping it current.

[Dax Shepard]

Okay, so no fornication during the writing sessions. And then it all came out. I do remember learning as a group, but everyone was so excited. That was my recollection when we found out that you were lovers. Yeah. When you love two people in a group and then they fall in love with each other.

[Ben Falcone]

Yeah. There's that old sort of saying, like, don't date people you work with or whatever.

[Dax Shepard]

I think it's don't shit where you eat is what you're trying to think of right now.

[Ben Falcone]

I'm like, you know what I did first? But I think that's an unhealthy thing to tell people because where are you supposed to go? Where am I supposed to shit?

[Dax Shepard]

Am I right?

[Ben Falcone]

The world is a toilet. I'm getting bisexual Toilet.

[Monica Padman]

Where am I supposed to.

[Dax Shepard]

If I live and work in a sexual toilet? Riddle me this. I'm so sweaty.

[Ben Falcone]

I can't.

[Dax Shepard]

Look.

[Ben Falcone]

How much?

[Dax Shepard]

Last interview of your life. On a fitting end I do have.

[Ben Falcone]

What a way to go.

[Dax Shepard]

We started it together and now we're.

[Melissa McCarthy]

That's how. Just like. And then he died.

[Dax Shepard]

He never was there for the Peabody Award. That he'll be the bartender on.

[Melissa McCarthy]

Oh, God.

[Dax Shepard]

Okay, so I want to talk about the fun, mutual ride you guys have taken together, because it's just very unique. Are you aware of the other couples that came before you? There's like, Dizzy and Desi, and there's not a bunch.

[Ben Falcone]

Shepherd and Belle. Belle.

[Dax Shepard]

Belle Shebelle Shepherd.

[Melissa McCarthy]

Also members of the Shit where you eat.

[Dax Shepard]

Big, big dump where you eat.

[Ben Falcone]

They got into some sexual eating, as I recall.

[Dax Shepard]

Maybe that should be our club. We create together Shit. We're ye club.

[Melissa McCarthy]

I'll make beautiful velvet jackets. Keep it classy. I don't think we ever thought about it. What's really weird is people. They don't anymore, but literally for the first 15 years, they're like, oh, God, how can you work with your husband? Which also just always said so much about the interviewer. Over a decade of like.

[Ben Falcone]

Like, really.

[Melissa McCarthy]

I mean, you say it's fun, but it has to be excruciating. And I'm like, I'm so sorry your life is so shitty.

[Ben Falcone]

How many times have you walked off set?

[Dax Shepard]

You're just like, 0am directing those things. And the director's not allowed to walk off. That's more an extra freedom to pitch A fit.

[Melissa McCarthy]

Speaking of Belle, when it was for the boss, literally every single interviewer was like, who's the boss between you two?

[Monica Padman]

Oh, wow.

[Ben Falcone]

Every time.

[Dax Shepard]

Oh, wow.

[Ben Falcone]

Three single questions. You know how junkets can be. And just to get the question. And they wanted us so badly to say, I fucking hate her.

[Monica Padman]

That is what they wanted.

[Ben Falcone]

And I wouldn't do it because I would. Don't. And so I'd be like, well, the boss is our kids. And they'd be like, okay, next. Like they were so sad.

[Melissa McCarthy]

Yeah, yeah, they wanted. By the way, we're not even really fucking married. This is all a sham. Your children are actors. Do you get that?

[Dax Shepard]

Yeah, yeah, we've had a fair deal that. But so much of it for me has been where my own self esteem is at when I'm hearing the questions. Like if I'm being dead honest. I used to go on talk shows and they would want to talk about Kristen the whole time. And in my insecure mind I'd be like, yeah, because they'd way rather be talking to her. And now that I don't feel that way, I'm like, no, that's all you have to talk about. She goes and talks about me and then I go on places and talk about her. And that's just what it is. There's nothing going on beyond that. But there were periods where my insecurity. I would really hear the 12 questions throughout the press junk that confirmed what I was afraid people thought, which is.

[Ben Falcone]

That you're a big nothing, she's a.

[Dax Shepard]

Big star and I'm a loser. And if she's in my thing, she's doing me a favor. If I'm in her thing, she's doing me a favor.

[Ben Falcone]

Yeah, yeah.

[Monica Padman]

She's doling out a lot of favors.

[Dax Shepard]

Yeah, yeah. It's just a one way favor. Street. Do you have any of that?

[Ben Falcone]

Sure. I don't know. I think I just was always rooting for McCarthy and we struggled a lot to start in those times, those spicy times that Monica wishes we had a few more stories about. I had no money. I'd go to her house and like awkwardly hang around and then she'd be like, oh look, I have a sandwich. And be like, oh, wow, that's so cool. That's so weird. I mean, I'll have it. I wouldn't even, but so I'm gonna.

[Dax Shepard]

Eat it to be polite.

[Ben Falcone]

And also I haven't eaten since yesterday.

[Melissa McCarthy]

So it's nice to start when you're both kind of struggling and you build.

[Ben Falcone]

Together you know, though I do remember. So there was one time early in our relationship, one thing that's great about Melissa is she way earlier than me. Like, if I pointed something out, a little constructive criticism, instead of just being like, hey, fuck off. She would be like, okay. If she thought it had merit.

[Monica Padman]

Yeah.

[Ben Falcone]

And I was like, wow. She takes the note instead of just getting defensive, which is what most people that I knew in our twenties would all do. Like, fuck you.

[Dax Shepard]

You don't know.

[Ben Falcone]

You'd be like, I don't know. What am I doing? But I remember I was like, you don't get it. If you were in a lower place, like where I am in my career, you'd understand. And I think she said, well, why on earth would you root for me to get to a place that's harder in my career rather than rooting for yourself to get to a better place? So I, for once, took the note. I was like, oh. And so early on, I was like, who knows what's going to happen with any of us at any point? If you love the person, you love the person, and you're rooting for them the whole time.

[Monica Padman]

Same.

[Dax Shepard]

I'm guessing now Melissa was so close your ears. Melissa was so way out in front of everybody. Comedically, there is an objectivity to how we all met where I never had any problem rooting for. I had no illusions in my mind I was as good as Melissa and that I should be somewhere. Marissa was.

[Ben Falcone]

I agree with you. There were only a few people that could do stuff that she could do, and in all the different ways that she could do it, I had no doubts that I, myself or yourself or lots of us could go on stage and do stuff that really would work and really would be great. But in terms of someone who was just at that next other level, someone that's just going to make an audience go kind of batshit crazy in a great way. I thought I could maybe help write those things, but I didn't ever think I could execute him as a performer.

[Dax Shepard]

Totally. If you and I had a sketch together, we had a pretty good sense that it was going to be three minutes. Yeah. If Melissa had a sketch that on paper was two minutes, it might be nine and a half minutes.

[Ben Falcone]

Right.

[Dax Shepard]

Depending on how get that fervor going in the audience and all hell might break.

[Ben Falcone]

I was there in the back when she broke her nose on stage trying to make a balloon pop. You ended up doing it on snl, the sketch where you got all the balloons. I forget who you ended up hitting on in snl. No, Sudeikis.

[Melissa McCarthy]

Yeah, it was Sudeikis.

[Ben Falcone]

But she did it at Frownlings first.

[Melissa McCarthy]

Balloons, guys.

[Ben Falcone]

Yeah. And she tried to pop. The audience was going crazy because they saw that she couldn't do it, and they knew how bad she wanted to do it. And so she would get more and more air. Whoa. Bang.

[Dax Shepard]

Whoa.

[Melissa McCarthy]

And then I finally. I was holding in front of my chest, and I just started repeatedly slamming my chest down. And then I was now into the 35, 36, 37. I'm diving on it and punching it.

[Dax Shepard]

Oh, my God.

[Melissa McCarthy]

And then finally, I slammed myself down face first, and it did pop. My head bounced off the floor, and I was like, oh, I'm blacking out.

[Ben Falcone]

And meanwhile, I was not directing that show. I was there just because I had time and I wanted to go see. It was previews, maybe. And so I was in the back, and even though I wasn't the director, I was like, turn the lights off. Because I knew she was in danger.

[Dax Shepard]

Blood was next.

[Ben Falcone]

But I guarantee you, if I somehow managed to make it happen, she would have never forgiven me. She wanted to pop that goddamn.

[Dax Shepard]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. And was there blood?

[Melissa McCarthy]

No, but some kind of weird liquid, which I don't know where that's from.

[Dax Shepard]

Sure.

[Melissa McCarthy]

I thought it was blood. So I thought, oh, my God, this has got to be scaring people. But once I got to the mirror, it was just all clear.

[Dax Shepard]

Like saliva poured out of your nose.

[Melissa McCarthy]

Yes, but like a cup of it. And people were still laughing. I know. Is it brain matter? And I was like, boy, they're clapping, but I'm covered in blood. But it wasn't blood. I went to see a plastic surgeon just to be like, do I need to reset it? And he asked me how I did it. And then he just was like, excuse me. And he brought it, and, like, two or three of his nurses, he's like, will you explain what you did again? And I was like, well, this just seems like it's entertaining for you. This isn't medical. And he said, oh, it's not medical at all.

[Dax Shepard]

Yeah, I just wanted to get the story right. And I'm not the best at repeating stories.

[Melissa McCarthy]

They were just like, God, that's the dumbest thing we've ever heard.

[Dax Shepard]

And for me, too, that, weirdly, has been helpful with Belle. I can't sing. I don't look like.

[Melissa McCarthy]

Well, she's not a human.

[Ben Falcone]

No, she's got too many things.

[Monica Padman]

She does.

[Dax Shepard]

Belle's fine with her, Lane. And I know I have no place.

[Melissa McCarthy]

In that but everybody has their own lane.

[Dax Shepard]

Yeah. Yeah. I would take pride in the fact that I was a writer. I'm like, well, I'm a writer. That's something I value a lot when I would think about what my lane is. Stay tuned for more Armchair Expert if you dare. We are supported by the new holiday action comedy Red 1. The mission to save Christmas is on. Dwayne Johnson and Chris Evans star in Red One from Jake Kasdan, who I love, as you know, director of Jumanji. Welcome to the jungle. After Santa Claus, codename Red One, played by J.K. simmons, is kidnapped, the North Pole's head of security, played by Dwayne Johnson, must team up with the world's most infamous bounty hunter, played by Chris Evans, in a globetrotting, action packed mission to save Christmas. This is Christmas fun like you've never seen before. See Red 1 only in theaters November 15th. Get tickets [e-mail]. We are supported by Audible. I love Audible. I've been listening to so much Audible lately because I've been taking these naps a lot. I always like to listen to Audible to go to sleep. Now, look, it's a special feeling when you encounter a story that truly sparks your imagination. Whether it's imagining new worlds and possibilities or discovering new ways of thinking, there's more to imagine when you listen. That's why we love listening to the amazing titles they have on Audible. Right now I'm listening to Wim hof.

[Monica Padman]

Yeah. And you are really into it. You were explaining a lot of the pieces to me.

[Dax Shepard]

Yeah. And I lost you a little bit.

[Monica Padman]

I'm listening to Intermezzo by Sally Rooney.

[Dax Shepard]

Is it great?

[Monica Padman]

Yeah, it's great.

[Dax Shepard]

Audible truly has the best selection of audiobooks, without exception. From bestsellers to new releases to exclusive Audible originals, there's always something to discover. As an Audible member, you choose one title a month to keep from their entire catalog. New members can try audible free for 30 days. Visit audible.comdax or text DAX to 500. 500. That's audible.comdax text DAX to 500. 500. We are supported by Sonos. Oh, boy, oh boy. Sonos is my favorite product in my whole life. I'm listening to it all day long. I'm in the gym listening to Sonos. I'm at home, listen, watching TV with my Sonos soundbar. I mean, it's.

[Monica Padman]

It really changes the whole experience of listening.

[Dax Shepard]

Look, you're listening to the podcast right now, but how are you listening if you're not listening on a Sonos speaker. You don't even know how amazing the dulcet tones of our voices can sound. Sonos is known for having the absolute, absolute best sound quality of any speaker on the market. You've got to hear it. And as good as Sonos can make us sound, imagine listening to Pink Floyd on a Sonos speaker or hearing the booming dramatic music in a great action film on a Sonos soundbar. Game changing Another incredible feature of Sonos, their integrated sound system makes it easy to play anything in any room.

[Monica Padman]

I love that it's easy to use.

[Dax Shepard]

Too, so you can keep your dance party going throughout your whole house. Visit sonos.comdax to learn more. That's sonos.comdax we are supported by Peloton. Are you tired of the same old workout routine or struggling to find motivation at this busy time of year? It's time to check out Peloton.

[Monica Padman]

Peloton is so great. We all know this. Also. Not only is it a good workout, which I did at our friend Molly's house.

[Dax Shepard]

Uh huh.

[Monica Padman]

It's a great workout. But it's also like pretty. It's sleek.

[Dax Shepard]

Yeah, it is. It's a good looking piece.

[Monica Padman]

Very aesthetically pleasing and you know that matters to me.

[Dax Shepard]

I know. I agree. Well, Peloton has a variety of training programs. They got pilates, 5k, 10k, half and full marathon programs, strength training, boot camps. There's so many ways to challenge yourself.

[Monica Padman]

It's so helpful to have a set plan. It takes the guesswork out. It just makes it easier to get started on your fitness journey.

[Dax Shepard]

It's great. And there's so many options on Peloton so you can find a workout that gives you exactly what you're looking for.

[Monica Padman]

Kind of workout are you feeling today?

[Dax Shepard]

Well, I got to tell you, I was recently advised by a doctor to incorporate some more blasts, some high intensity blasts that you get this special. He said, look at sprinters, right? Why do they look like that? Because they're in this really high heart rate for some period of time and it's really beneficial. So I'm looking to go hard. Hard.

[Monica Padman]

Cool. Well, whatever you're looking for, Peloton has the workout for you and they have world class fitness instructors to push you to the next level.

[Dax Shepard]

Find your push, find your power with peloton at 1peloton.

[Ben Falcone]

When you hopefully get on a way to a better spot. That is when you're able to be objective and say, oh my gosh, she's amazing at that. Oh my gosh, she's so good at that. And not to say you could never get better, but I'm never going to be a great piano player. There's certain things that you're like, and that's okay.

[Dax Shepard]

When you're young, you want all the things. You're watching Glenn Close in that thing, and you're like, well, I need to do that as well.

[Melissa McCarthy]

I think there's a thing coming up when you watch everybody and you so admire it, but also you're like, I guess I have to be able to do all of it right, which is just not how it works. And I think with the little age and experience, you're like, oh, no, no, no. That's not my thing. I can't do it. It's a magic trick that that person can do.

[Dax Shepard]

It is comforting to know it does happen to Kristin. So one time we were at a party, and we spent the whole night talking with Tina and Amy. And then the next day we went for a walk, and she doesn't mind that I tell this story. And we were on a walk in the neighborhood, and she's gone going, I'm just so not funny. I don't know why I'm allowed to be in these movies. I'm not funny. And I said, well, honey, are you as funny as Tina and Amy, two of the five funniest people on planet Earth? No, you're not as funny as Tina and Amy. And then yet you can do all this other stuff that's so funny.

[Monica Padman]

It's so different. They do one thing, she's so funny in another way. This business is full of comparison, and it's actually so subjective. It's the one you actually should never be comparing.

[Melissa McCarthy]

Gloria Steinem always says, linked, not ranked.

[Ben Falcone]

Yeah.

[Melissa McCarthy]

Which is, like, an incredible thing. We're linked by what we do, but who wins what. Everything's apples to, you know, cantaloupe. It's not the same. We're not supposed to be ranking things like that. That's where it gets so weird.

[Dax Shepard]

What I've been impressed with. With both of you. We just played poker. Ben, it was so fun. If I haven't said public, you invited me to poker, and it was all the folks from more than 20 years ago.

[Melissa McCarthy]

Did he use the dry ice machine?

[Ben Falcone]

We did bring him in with a fog machine. We did play a little. What did we play for you?

[Dax Shepard]

Stranglehold.

[Ben Falcone]

Stranglehold.

[Dax Shepard]

Uncle Ted Nugent.

[Ben Falcone]

Uncle Ted Nugent was playing a little Stranglehold. Everyone was very excited to see.

[Dax Shepard]

I was catching up because whenever there's a surprise Guest at poker. At Ben's poker game, they have to enter in a fog machine and have some kind of something. Yeah.

[Ben Falcone]

Just so there's a little bit of acclaim, I think, coming out of COVID I was like, you know what? People deserve a little applause. It's so good to see you. Let's give them a cool rock star intro.

[Dax Shepard]

Let's eventize your existence.

[Ben Falcone]

Exactly. And we play for, like, 20 bucks. There's no. It's more about just the joy of seeing people after a long time. Some people hadn't seen DAX probably for 20 years.

[Dax Shepard]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh, it was so fun and it was so heartwarming. We're all still the same, and we've all changed, which is interesting. But all that to say you guys have in a very, very admirable way. But I can't imagine it's completely without effort or struggle, which is. You guys have had the same friendship group the whole ride.

[Melissa McCarthy]

We weirdly met a bunch of people during COVID Oh, you did?

[Dax Shepard]

You guys got real social during COVID Yeah.

[Melissa McCarthy]

By the way, I'll explain it later. No, we were on FaceTime call. We were like, let's at least see other faces. So we were like, let's have a cocktail on Friday night.

[Ben Falcone]

It was with Banks and Max, and they were on.

[Melissa McCarthy]

And then Liz, midway through was like, I'm putting Adam Shankman on. And so he came on and we were just talking about random stuff, and he's like, I'm gonna make a C. And he was just baking all through Covid, and he's like, whoever wins?

[Ben Falcone]

Well, first I said, we're gonna watch every Oscar movie ever. Cause I was gonna do the thing where you're like, I'm gonna learn a language. I'm gonna play piano. So I was like, I'm gonna watch every Oscar winning movie that's ever won, because what else am I doing? How long is this gonna last?

[Melissa McCarthy]

Best picture, Best pictures.

[Ben Falcone]

Best picture only. So we started in a course. Adam. It was before you could go in somebody's house unless you were potted. And so he was like, I'll do like a Q and A. I'll make a trivia night about the movie. And then whoever wins, I will bring you some kind of delicious baked good and leave it outside your house.

[Dax Shepard]

Oh, my goodness.

[Ben Falcone]

So. And then Amy and Darren joined, and it became the same.

[Melissa McCarthy]

It just kept growing and growing, and it was so fun, and people were in different countries and we would still do it.

[Dax Shepard]

Yeah. You guys were in Australia eventually. We were so you're doing like 8am coffee.

[Melissa McCarthy]

We were doing like coffee and they're having a coffee.

[Ben Falcone]

I guess it'll be coffee. There was one time Steve Mallory was in it too. And he was in Australia with me doing this show. She was in London, Adam was in Ireland. Some people were in LA. Yeah. So it was like 7:30 in the morning on a Sunday morning.

[Melissa McCarthy]

It started with, we're all in the Zoom. And then Steve Mallory, who we all know, super funny guy.

[Ben Falcone]

He helped. He wrote this thing with us, by the way.

[Dax Shepard]

He's written the five movies in some.

[Ben Falcone]

Capacities most of you remember. Well, he and I wrote this. Part of. The easy part of what we did is we basically wrote two full movies. Hey, cool.

[Melissa McCarthy]

But it was Lawrence of Arabia. And as we all popped up on Zoom, all of a sudden Steve is in full costume. There was an awkward pause. One by one, people were like, yeah, we'll be right fucking back. And you got a bunch of like creative people pent up. And it was like, you're making wigs out of toilet paper rolls and you. And then from then on, it was full costumes.

[Ben Falcone]

Amy Adams was elaborate queen. Right. For Patton, she was a human tank and she could move and it was coming out of her chest plate thing.

[Dax Shepard]

Oh, yeah.

[Ben Falcone]

It's unbelievable.

[Melissa McCarthy]

Things got super elaborate sometimes. I would spend like 30 hours that week just working on a costume.

[Monica Padman]

It just went away.

[Melissa McCarthy]

Cause we had nothing else to do.

[Dax Shepard]

There's like Sunday Company all over again. Yep. You gotta get your costume ready.

[Monica Padman]

Did you watch all the.

[Ben Falcone]

I did.

[Monica Padman]

Wow, that's impressive.

[Dax Shepard]

Which one were you like, I have a new appreciation for. And which one were you like? I don't know.

[Melissa McCarthy]

I had not seen Wings, which is the first.

[Ben Falcone]

The first Oscar winning movie. It's unbelievable.

[Melissa McCarthy]

There's a romance between these two soldiers, male soldiers. Is there a kiss or just that moment?

[Ben Falcone]

There's a moment, I think.

[Melissa McCarthy]

And also the director was a fighter pilot. So the footage in the planes is.

[Ben Falcone]

So when you see a plane go down, it's because they brought a plane down. It was the first visual effects too, because these stunt pilots, these former Air Force guys that had been in, I guess, World War I, they would jump out of a plane that they put a smoke pack thing in.

[Dax Shepard]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Ben Falcone]

And then the one thing you would see is they just tried to erase on the actual film negative, you'd see like a yellow dot as the person theoretically would have been parachuting, hopefully to safety.

[Dax Shepard]

Wow.

[Ben Falcone]

But yeah, so talk about, you know, you're like a thrill, thrill Rider, you're.

[Dax Shepard]

Kind of guy who likes to jump out of a crashing airplane, right?

[Melissa McCarthy]

Yeah.

[Ben Falcone]

You're like, I wonder how they did that? And it's like, oh, they crashed planes.

[Dax Shepard]

Wow.

[Monica Padman]

Crazy.

[Ben Falcone]

I think my favorite, favorite one that either I hadn't appreciated or something, but now I could watch it every day is in the Heat of the Night. Have you seen that one? Sidney Poitier, Rod Steiger.

[Dax Shepard]

I haven't seen it. I just know of it was that the first thing he won for.

[Ben Falcone]

Sidney Poitier did not win. And I was sort of keeping loose track. Again, not to rank, but that was one of my favorite performances I've ever seen. And he did not win. He won the year later for something else. Splendor, Guess who's Coming to Dinner or something. And then ones that didn't hold up.

[Melissa McCarthy]

Patton.

[Ben Falcone]

She did not like Patton. She got so mad at his eyebrows.

[Melissa McCarthy]

The opening of Patton speech in front.

[Dax Shepard]

Of the American flag. Is that what it is?

[Melissa McCarthy]

So his face is massive. It looks like. No offense to anyone because makeup was great by then. There are artists doing it. It just looked like he took two tubes of toothpaste and went right over the eyebrows and kind of brushed it in. And I was like, it's a closeup. It's an extreme close up.

[Ben Falcone]

Made her very angry.

[Melissa McCarthy]

Oh, it made me so mad.

[Dax Shepard]

It's probably the HD of it all. Chris and I made the grave mistake of showed Game of Thrones at IMAX one year in preparation of the new season. And we went and we were like, ooh, the wall. The wall's plastic. The wall's like, oh, really? Which you cannot tell on tv, but imax, you're like, oh, no, now this looks insane.

[Ben Falcone]

You're just like, they're about to Styrofoam wall. I'm not scared of a wind walker climbing that plastic thing.

[Monica Padman]

I can see a zipper.

[Dax Shepard]

They can defend this. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That guy's cell phone is pocket. Yeah, that was not advisable. Oh, okay. But back to what I was going to say is, has it been challenging at all to navigate? Because I've talked about this a lot on here. I have a real fair amount of survivors guilt. I've met so many people that were so fucking good at all of this, that didn't get to buy a house at the end of it all. And it's really heartbreaking. And in the past, I think I've maybe just ran away from some of those people. That wasn't the easiest road for me to navigate. But you guys you're still with everyone. Has that been hard at all?

[Ben Falcone]

I think sometimes it can be a little tricky. Particularly if you think that someone is trying something that is like a tricky path and you have a bunch of advice, you would probably tell them, but then you're like, who am I to give anybody advice? And so I never do. So that is the tricky thing because I also always thought, if I can make it to a point where I don't have to wait tables, if I can just do the thing that I'm meant to do, if it's a stage show or whatever, that to me would be enough. And then to get more than that, I was like, that's never the bargain I made with the deity. Yeah, I guess I feel guilty or something.

[Melissa McCarthy]

I thought if I could just get a SAG card. And then I was like, man, what if one day I can work enough to have SAG insurance?

[Ben Falcone]

Yeah.

[Melissa McCarthy]

I was like, well, just try to get your card. Don't go crazy and expect to get insurance out of this deal. And so sometimes I am just kind of a little bewildered that I get to go to work every day. And I love it. Like, I nerdishly still love it. Every time we start a new project, as we're driving to work the first, we're like, oh my God. I still have that feeling where I'm like, I've got a badge. I get on the lot and I get to go put on.

[Ben Falcone]

Every time we get on a lot, we always feel like it's a mistake every single time. I'm just like, they're gonna make us leave. Because I remember way back, I talk about how I struggled. So did Mr. Shepherd. We would take long walks and to our shame, we would complain a lot. As I recall, we might walk four or five miles. Sure. Because we had nothing else to do. No kids or anything. So we would also be walking at like 10:30 at night. And you and Tim Lovestead would stop at Caf 50s and get a giant coffee at like 10:00.

[Dax Shepard]

I know. We used to drink coffee right up till bed.

[Ben Falcone]

Yeah. It wasn't helping us, but we were.

[Melissa McCarthy]

Just like trying to commiserate you.

[Ben Falcone]

Maybe someday something will get easier.

[Dax Shepard]

Well, a lot of people have heard my CPK story that listen to the show. And people should know that Ben got me the job at Cal Hu.

[Ben Falcone]

I'm part of the family.

[Dax Shepard]

And you were like a beloved staff member.

[Melissa McCarthy]

Oh, no.

[Dax Shepard]

And I didn't make it. I didn't make make the cut. I was a host for a while.

[Ben Falcone]

Because you had to leave for an audition or something, right?

[Dax Shepard]

No. Remember Dan gave me my review and he gave me a 7 out of 10 for punctuality. And I had been 15 minutes early to every shift.

[Ben Falcone]

God, wait, I don't remember this.

[Dax Shepard]

You don't? I sit down for my review and he gives me this. So punctuality, seven, that's great. Now appearance. And I go, oh, dan, I've been 15 minutes early to every shift.

[Ben Falcone]

You were always early.

[Dax Shepard]

Because I wanted to eat that bread and back. Because your first job was to cut up all the bread on the machine and could eat half a loaf before anyone knew what was going on. Dip it in barbecue and ranch. That was my meal. And I said, well, Dan, I've been so early, how would I get a 10 an hour early? And he goes, well, we just can't start you at a 10 because you gotta try to grow and get better.

[Monica Padman]

What?

[Dax Shepard]

And I was like, oh, okay. And then he went on to a couple more and then I just go, dan, I think I'm gonna quit.

[Monica Padman]

Oh my God.

[Melissa McCarthy]

And he goes, I do not know this story.

[Dax Shepard]

You don't know this? So he goes, why? And I go, yeah, that sounds wild. Like if I was early and you're trying to make me more. This feels very like weird and manipulative. I can't. I'm gonna quit. And then I left. And then I got a voicemail on my recorder at home and it was Dan. And he said, listen, Dax, I've thought over the punctuality and I'm willing to go to 8.

[Monica Padman]

I do remember I'm willing to go to 8.

[Dax Shepard]

He countered at 8. Not even fucking 9 or 10.

[Melissa McCarthy]

Dan, what are you.

[Dax Shepard]

And I love Dan. It's on his face.

[Ben Falcone]

Dan was a sweet manager. Man.

[Dax Shepard]

Don't.

[Ben Falcone]

Very muscular guy, very sweet. He fired me too.

[Dax Shepard]

He fired you?

[Ben Falcone]

Yeah. Do you know what a secret shopper is?

[Monica Padman]

Yes.

[Ben Falcone]

Okay, so you know what a secret chopper is?

[Dax Shepard]

Well, let's just tell everyone corporate has some employees go visit the restaurant and you don't know you're waiting on one of these people and then they give you a review.

[Ben Falcone]

Right. So I worked at the CPK in Brentwood.

[Dax Shepard]

Can we do one second on the CPK of Brentwood? I think it's really relevant for the list. Yeah, it's a mid priced restaurant, but it's in Brentwood where everything's really expensive. So people that come in are expecting a level of service that frankly CPK doesn't offer. So they were so mad you couldn't make reservations. I was at the host stand and I just heard complain after complaint of how unacceptable it was. You can't make a reservation. And I wanted to go, yeah, because a pizza is $9 and that's how it is here. But anyways, I think that's relevant.

[Ben Falcone]

It is. People would. And they would come right before a movie at that cinema on Wilshire. I don't even know if it's still there. But that was basically what people would come for. So right before the 7 o'clock movie, place would fill up. Everyone wants everything all at once. And I just got in secret shop before and I got like a 97. Because they also wanted you to be so specific. Like when you give an appetizer, I wouldn't just say, hey, can I get you an appetizer something? Are you guys hungry yet? Would you like some delicious spinach artichoke dip or perhaps some hummus? Sometimes they would want you to push liquor during the day. Oh, like so at 11:45 you're like, would you like a Long island iced tea or a tea margarita of wild. No, I would not.

[Dax Shepard]

Was it Budweiser chaser?

[Melissa McCarthy]

Dan, that's really specific.

[Dax Shepard]

Dan, can I get you started with three shots?

[Ben Falcone]

We've got a nice patron ano at 11:45. I think you're going to enjoy that with your half chopped salad.

[Dax Shepard]

What's the rest of your day look like you want to go hard this morning?

[Ben Falcone]

So anyway, long story short, they split all the tables apart. So I'm like slammed. I'm in the weeds as they say. The last table was the secret choppers. I remember weird questions like, what kind of shrimp are on the shrimp scampi pizza? And I'm like, it's bay shrimp, it's really good. And I gotta go cause somebody wants iced tea or whatever.

[Melissa McCarthy]

Which by the way, you've never spoken to anyone that curtly.

[Ben Falcone]

No, I was just very busy. And so I was like, I'll be right back. Do you remember the score I got? Cause now I can't remember. It was something like a 39 out of 100. So what seapeekay would do is they would call. And this is back when you had an answering machine, right? Same as Daxter, tape cassette. And so. Hey, Ben, it's Dan. I got to talk to you over at the restaurant, okay. And I knew that that meant when they called you in, they wanted to fire you in person because it was a restaurant started by lawyers. So I call them back and I say, dan, what's going on? Are you going to fire me?

[Dax Shepard]

How long did you work there at that point?

[Ben Falcone]

I had worked at the one at Marina Del Rey. I played softball with that Marina Del Rey. You were on her team because I want to play softball.

[Dax Shepard]

Sure.

[Ben Falcone]

So I was really in the culture. I was embedded in CPK. I'd probably been there like 4ish years, maybe 5. And I go, are you going to fire me? And he goes, yeah, I gotta fire you, Ben. I'm like, well, then I don't want to come in, Dan. I'm not gonna like walk in there so you can fire me. No. I was like, can you just mail me my check? That would be fine with me. I said, what happened? He goes, you got a 39 on the secret chopper. I was like, it was some other manager. I pulled all the tables apart. He goes, yeah, I know.

[Monica Padman]

Oh, but you gotta feel unfair, 39.

[Dax Shepard]

We can't come back from.

[Ben Falcone]

No, we can't come back. And I'm still mad about.

[Melissa McCarthy]

I love four years of good service. And because you didn't offer a 9am Long Island Iced tea to someone, you didn't talk to him?

[Ben Falcone]

I didn't talk in detail about the shrimp on the shrimp scampi pizza. That's what I remember they ordered also.

[Monica Padman]

Seems like those secret shoppers were trying to be like the best secret shoppers.

[Ben Falcone]

And maybe they didn't know. You're gonna take this young man's job away. Dan is gonna leave him.

[Dax Shepard]

That's so generous. The whole thing boils down to some very subjective person's day they're having. And they sit down. Could they find parking there? Probably not. That place was a zoo.

[Ben Falcone]

Yeah, it was tough.

[Dax Shepard]

What all happened before they sat down in there, started asking about the shrimp at cpk.

[Monica Padman]

What are your expectations?

[Dax Shepard]

Yeah, it's Gulf shrimp. It came in this morning. I unloaded the pallet, just pulled it out of ice from.

[Ben Falcone]

He was wearing a beautiful outfit. He's dressed like a longshoreman. His name is Dale.

[Dax Shepard]

The captain and the longshoreman came.

[Ben Falcone]

I spoke to them for a while, but not too long because they had a busy day. As do I. They're individual bags of shrimp.

[Dax Shepard]

All right. Now I bring back what we started talking about before you sat down, which is the notion of retirement. Would you be any good at it? Your hunch, Ben, was that it won't be easy.

[Ben Falcone]

I don't think it'll take for me, because I do have to kind of write every day. I'll write whether it's going to get made into something or not.

[Dax Shepard]

Yes.

[Ben Falcone]

So I guess I could be retired. It's just a question of if anyone's buying. Buying what I'm selling or not.

[Dax Shepard]

Would you just return to pros, though? Maybe.

[Ben Falcone]

Maybe. What do you like writing better?

[Dax Shepard]

I declared I'm done writing scripts. Like, seven years ago, I had a couple scripts. I owed them. Like, I'm just done with this. I can't stand it anymore. And then I started writing for fun again. And then I just started writing prose. And now I'm kind of writing a memoir, but I'll just write for fun. And I'm like, oh, I remember this writing. Cause you like constructing sentences is fun. The math of it, the puzzle of it.

[Melissa McCarthy]

It's satisfying.

[Dax Shepard]

Yeah. I don't think I'd ever stop writing. But anyways, all that to say. I said I think I'll do fine with it. Because we had nine years of practice, you and I, of being retired, of being unemployed.

[Ben Falcone]

We were retired in our 20s.

[Dax Shepard]

Yes. So it's like you go to the promenade and watch the cheap showing at the AMC7. You knew where to go, get a cheap slice of pizza. Bike rides on the Strand. I knew how to fill up a day. I think I learned that. And some people don't ever learn that.

[Ben Falcone]

Well, now that you've got access to all those cars that you always were so hot and heavy, for sure. That'll do it.

[Dax Shepard]

I don't like them all as much as I thought I was gonna.

[Ben Falcone]

What?

[Dax Shepard]

I mean, I really like them, but I don't find that I'm driving around in them a ton.

[Ben Falcone]

Do you like to still take them apart and put back together?

[Dax Shepard]

I like to buy them. I like to look at them and have a big fantasy about them. And then I like to put them in my garage, and I like to.

[Monica Padman]

Have a garage for that.

[Dax Shepard]

And then worry about what needs fixing and sometimes dream that the whole garage catches on fire and it all goes away.

[Ben Falcone]

So this is no longer.

[Dax Shepard]

But I still love it.

[Ben Falcone]

Okay, so you love it.

[Dax Shepard]

Yeah, yeah. I'm just not sure how much of my day it's going to take up.

[Melissa McCarthy]

You never drive your old one.

[Dax Shepard]

There you go. I know you've got a nice Ranchero and you pulled the fast one, right? That was a very sweet move.

[Melissa McCarthy]

It was Dan Eid's car in Tammy, and I brought it back from North Carolina for your. Was that for your 40th?

[Ben Falcone]

40Th.

[Melissa McCarthy]

I like driving it. I mean, not me driving it, but I like driving it with you.

[Ben Falcone]

Yeah.

[Dax Shepard]

Uh, oh, we stumbled upon a real source.

[Ben Falcone]

No, no. Now I'm wondering, because it's up at the beach, and I'm just wondering if I know how to start it. I'm the opposite. Like, you're good with all that stuff. If you pull out this car automatically, just people appear. They've got tank tops on and maybe a tattoo on their. Like, well, what do you got under the hood there? And I'm like, I have no idea, sir. I don't.

[Melissa McCarthy]

My wife quilted the leather.

[Ben Falcone]

Look at the interior. It's really neat.

[Monica Padman]

Well, what was both of your cars like? His was cars. What were yours? If I have this level of success or money, I want this.

[Melissa McCarthy]

I like housey stuff. Anything to do with design. I'm constantly working on building a nest.

[Monica Padman]

Yeah, me too.

[Melissa McCarthy]

I just love it. Even when I was a kid, to my parents, it'd be like, you know, if we knocked this wall out, it would open. They're like, she would take this place down. I love the whole construction process.

[Dax Shepard]

You love a remodel.

[Melissa McCarthy]

I love a remodel. And he hates it.

[Ben Falcone]

Never, ever has anyone said, oh, we can do this. It's easier than we thought. It's cheaper than we thought, faster than we thought. It used to be double the price. Now it's like, let's just triple it.

[Dax Shepard]

For us, it was like, let's four times.

[Ben Falcone]

Let's for it.

[Dax Shepard]

Let's 3x. The timeline has that changed because you started early. You have always been a house flipper. That first yellow one.

[Melissa McCarthy]

Yeah.

[Dax Shepard]

You did a real number on and made it super cute, that one.

[Melissa McCarthy]

I think what got me is that was my first house. I love that house. Los Vilas. And then everything was easy. It was so filthy. It was built in 1912. It was so pretty, but it was just, like, dirty. Plates on the floor, garbage everywhere, open food. One of the open houses, we were standing in a bedroom, and I was like, oh, my God. Because I couldn't even fathom, can I really get this place? And we were in there for maybe 20 minutes, just talking. I was there with a friend. There was mattresses all over the floor. And then 20 minutes, someone rolled over in bed, and they had been in there sleeping.

[Ben Falcone]

Oh, no.

[Melissa McCarthy]

The whole time.

[Dax Shepard]

Oh, no.

[Monica Padman]

So this was like a den.

[Melissa McCarthy]

Some of the doorways, there was, like, plywood over it and painted. But the more I was in there, because I was so in love with this house, I was like, it's just dirty. I can clean. None of the moldings are changed. They just weirdly Put plywood over it. So I started going to all the open houses, every single one. And the realtor was like, you can't. And I was like, it's an open house, and there's people. Sometimes they would walk in three, four feet and just turn around and leave because it was so dirty.

[Dax Shepard]

That's your sweet spot.

[Melissa McCarthy]

And then if they did come in, that's where I would just, oh, I'm on the tour, too. And I'm like, you can't clean this kind of filth.

[Dax Shepard]

Yeah.

[Melissa McCarthy]

I said a lot of things like, this is in the walls.

[Monica Padman]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Melissa McCarthy]

This is in the walls.

[Dax Shepard]

This house has bad bones.

[Monica Padman]

Yeah.

[Melissa McCarthy]

And everything went super easy. And it really was like, oh, yeah. We just kicked down the plywood, and it was beautiful underneath it.

[Ben Falcone]

She's always thought every other one was.

[Monica Padman]

That easy, that first high.

[Dax Shepard]

Oh, and some of the other ones, there was stuff in the wall. Just absolute Swiss cheese.

[Melissa McCarthy]

The whole house, they're like, oh, it's got to come down.

[Ben Falcone]

It was. I remembering the studs one time hearing, like, we knew about the asbestos, but the black mold we didn't know about.

[Monica Padman]

And I was like, have you ever just immediately sold, like, bought it and actually, we can.

[Melissa McCarthy]

We did do that one time because we got into it, and I was like, oh.

[Ben Falcone]

And then we were about to travel, and I was like, honey, can we just say that this one was a mercy?

[Melissa McCarthy]

And we did. We just sold it right away. And I was so shocked. I was like, we just swapped out. We're like, we bought it and then we sold it. And we're like, get out, get out, get out, get out.

[Dax Shepard]

Go, go, go, go, go, go, go.

[Monica Padman]

Yeah.

[Dax Shepard]

The place you're in now, do you think you'll stay or does Mama itchy?

[Melissa McCarthy]

I think even the girls, our girls, are like, you won't sell this, Right?

[Dax Shepard]

Yeah, right, right, right.

[Ben Falcone]

I mean, I think we'll stay, right?

[Melissa McCarthy]

I mean, we'll stay there.

[Ben Falcone]

It's possible.

[Dax Shepard]

We. I don't believe her at all.

[Melissa McCarthy]

I don't.

[Monica Padman]

I think so.

[Melissa McCarthy]

I don't know. That really feels like our home.

[Ben Falcone]

So how old are Lincoln and Delta now?

[Dax Shepard]

9 and 11.

[Ben Falcone]

9, 11. Okay. So ours are 17 and 14. Viv is going to be at college somewhere next year.

[Melissa McCarthy]

Oh, my God.

[Ben Falcone]

I know. Which is so crazy. But obviously there's some stuff we do here, work. But we've lived in LA for a long time, too, so even LA is a little bit up for grabs, and that freaks the girls out, even if they don't think they they want to. They just want us to be where we are.

[Dax Shepard]

They want you to stay unchanged.

[Ben Falcone]

Yes. I don't care what it is I'm doing, but I want you two to be right here.

[Dax Shepard]

Monica's the worst offender of that.

[Monica Padman]

So bad.

[Ben Falcone]

Really?

[Monica Padman]

Yeah. I was just home this past weekend, and my brother took a long time to leave the house. And it is the first time that I was back that he's permanently out. And I was like, well, this is unacceptable, actually.

[Dax Shepard]

Oh, you wanted Neil to be there.

[Ben Falcone]

You wanted your brother to be there.

[Monica Padman]

Yeah, and I've also been. I'm like, you gotta get out of here. I've been saying that for years, and now he's gone and it's like, my life is ruined.

[Ben Falcone]

And how often do you go home?

[Monica Padman]

Like, a couple times a year.

[Ben Falcone]

Perfect. So you want him just to stay there?

[Monica Padman]

Yeah, he's got to stay for that.

[Ben Falcone]

Thursday through Sunday trip.

[Monica Padman]

Yeah, it was weird. It's weird when your foundation is changing.

[Melissa McCarthy]

I don't like that. When he wrote, was it life? I'm already. Hi. I just fell asleep. I was like, how? Life of the party when Ben came down in the morning, was like, oh, I have this idea for something. I took it very literally. I was like, that is such an amazing idea to go to school because I didn't finish college. And I was like, oh, my God, when Viv goes to school, I should go to college with her. And he's like, this is a cautionary tale. And Viv was like, no, wait, wait, wait. What are we talking about? And I was like, I can finish college when you go to college. And he just kept saying, no, the comedy of it is that's a terrible idea. And literally was like, I don't see what's. I think it's a great idea. And then she, like, kind of am.

[Ben Falcone]

Like, looked at the first, like, pieces. She's like, I just think it's lovely and heartwarming. I'm like, it's supposed to be just funny.

[Dax Shepard]

Okay. I do want to. You already said you love it, and I do, too. And I wonder. Obviously you guys started writing and performing together, so it makes a lot more sense for both of you. But do you think also, this is the thing I like about working together is it's just a lot of compromise. You want to eat somewhere, and you want to eat somewhere different. You want to watch something. You maybe want to watch something. When you work together, I think it's this unique time where you have the same goal, which is really kind of hard to have as a couple the exact same goal.

[Ben Falcone]

It is.

[Melissa McCarthy]

Because also, I always call it, like, the red and yellow. Like, if you want yellow, I want blue. And then we're like, ooh. But purple. That. It's a constant improvement. It starts okay, and then instead of, like, a fight or a battle, there's some kind of fun puzzle working that I find so satisfying and so fun. But it's never about, like, it's my way or his way.

[Dax Shepard]

It's like, how to take the good thing out of your idea and the good thing from my idea.

[Melissa McCarthy]

This new creation's better than either one of us could have done.

[Ben Falcone]

And there's also a certain thing where people say, oh, what's it like working with your wife? And it's every day, in certain ways, because part of what we do is for fun. It's how we communicate. We're writing another movie that we want to film soon. And on the way over here, we'd just gotten into all this madness, and she's the ringleader of all that. And I'm like, honey, it was more things than possible.

[Melissa McCarthy]

On the drive, Ben goes, I just wonder if this. The hats won too many.

[Ben Falcone]

We're 100 too many. She's like, that's the whole point. But then she pitched a really quick bit for the movie that was so funny that I'm like, yeah, we absolutely should put that in the movie. I read a thing in the LA Times a long time ago about these two physicists that work together. Cause for some reason, I was reading the obituaries.

[Dax Shepard]

Oh, wow. Anyway, so it was about Kinky.

[Ben Falcone]

It was about these two physicists, and one of them passed away, and they called themselves the Mosquito and the Battleship. The reason they work so well together is because one of them had 40,000 different mathematical ideas about science and things that I don't understand. And the other one was like, yes, but this is also the solution we're trying to get to. So I always think of Melissa and myself that way, where she's got 5,000 good ideas. I got one bad one, but I'm going to stick to it. We're going to land the plane. I think it's kind of a good match that way.

[Dax Shepard]

Yes, stick to it, Ness.

[Melissa McCarthy]

And also I say stupid half thoughts. That will not become a movie. What I said in the car, Hungry.

[Ben Falcone]

Eyes came on Eric Carmen really quick.

[Dax Shepard]

Hit me. I want to.

[Ben Falcone]

Hungry Eyes.

[Dax Shepard]

Oh, yeah.

[Ben Falcone]

I don't know the words, but all.

[Melissa McCarthy]

I say is that was like, the thing we're writing now. What if Every time Andrew Friedman starts to eat chicken wings, that song comes on. And it happens repeatedly through the movie. And it slightly goes to slow motion. Oh, I think it's up here on the left. And then that's all I've got. He makes a full movie out of my random scattle. Psychological thoughts.

[Ben Falcone]

But I mean, how much fun to have somebody that's just pitching bits. I have a question for you. Why did we stop writing scripts? You're very good at it. Was it the notes process? Was it the structure process that started to bum you out?

[Dax Shepard]

Structure sucks. I hate structure. Always. And some frustration that you relearn your structure notes every single time you write something. It's just maddening that you don't start there.

[Ben Falcone]

A million times I've thought to myself, you've gotten all of these notes before. They were correct before. A scene where two people are just talking about nothing. You've been in the cutting room before. And then, sure. Sure as shit. You look. You're like, so page 30 to 39 is frog shit nothing.

[Dax Shepard]

Yeah, it's. That notes is rough. It's always feeling like you have homework due everywhere you're at. I would notice Chris and I are on vacation and she's on vacation, but I'm like, I have two things due at some point. I was like, okay, it's been 15 years of having homework, and I just don't want it again.

[Ben Falcone]

Great. Fair.

[Dax Shepard]

Stay tuned for more armchair experts if you dare. We are supported by Wayfair. Oh, my goodness, I love Wayfair. My feet are on a Wayfair coffee table right now that I'm in love with. I cannot believe the holidays are just around the corner. If you're hosting this holiday season, it's definitely that time where you need to start prepping the house to make things festive but also functional for your guests. Wayfair is the place to get great deals on things your home actually needs this time of year. Cozier blankets, maybe a few extra dining chairs, holiday serveware. You name it, they have it. If you've been eyeing a few things on Wayfair, now is the time to get them. They have huge holiday deals going on right now, and you can get up to 70% off during their Black Friday deals. That's huge. 70%.

[Monica Padman]

As you said, we have a coffee table. We have side tables in the studio. This whole place is Wayfair.

[Dax Shepard]

We are decked out. Wayfair also offers free and easy shipping, even on the big stuff, and they'll help you set it up. One less thing to worry about this busy season. Don't miss out on saving big with Wayfair this holiday. Head to Wayfair.com now to shop Wayfair Wayfair's Black Friday deals. That's W A Y F A I R.com we are supported by 23andMe plus total health. Advocating for your health and the personalized care you need and deserve in today's one size fits all health care system feels impossible. 23andMe + total health is a longevity platform that uses cutting edge genetic testing and blood biomarker analysis to help you create a health plan that's unique to you. With their advanced genetic screening training, you'll get access to insights into your potential future disease risks, which can help lead to early detection and even prevention.

[Monica Padman]

23Andme is how we learned about misophonia. That's right, it's how we gave it credit.

[Dax Shepard]

And I just ordered a supplemental test that already was there. They just had to analyze it for our Isaacson panel. With 23 me plus total health, you get comprehensive blood testing beyond routine labs, which can help you get a better understanding of how your health is changing throughout the year. Best of all, it's FSA HSA eligible. Check with your administrator to confirm eligibility. Advocate for your health today. Go to 23andMe.comDAX to receive 10% off. That's 10% off. @23andMe.comDAX we are supported by SKIMS. If you're in the market for holiday presents, Skims has got you covered.

[Monica Padman]

Boy, do they. They just launched their holiday shop with some incredible gift ideas. You know I like giving gifts.

[Dax Shepard]

Yes, you're a gift expert and you approve?

[Monica Padman]

I do. And when I gave for a white elephant, I gave a skims robe once before. It was a huge hit.

[Dax Shepard]

It was stolen immediately. Immediately.

[Monica Padman]

And they do. They have this amazing soft lounge sleep set from the Skims Holiday Shop. Really cute seasonal colors. It's so nice to get festive and get in your skims and bop around.

[Dax Shepard]

You got to have ventize.

[Monica Padman]

You got to.

[Dax Shepard]

It's so fun. And who doesn't love a gift list? It makes holiday shopping that much, much easier. Shop skimsholiday [e-mail] available in styles for women, men, kids and even pets. If you haven't yet, be sure to let them know we sent you. After you place your orders, select Podcast in the survey and select our show in the dropdown menu that follows. Okay, of the five features you guys have made together, Tammy the Boss, Life of the party. Super intelligent. Thunder Force is one. And let me just say we always think about when I get to show our girls hit and run because it was our kind of baby. That movie, it was a million dollars and impossible to make. And that movie means so much in so many weird ways. Do you guys have a favorite of these five that are so special to you?

[Melissa McCarthy]

I love them all, Tammy for the same reason. I just remember pulling onto the set and we were like, look at all these people. Couldn't believe we got to write a movie. Couldn't believe then Ben was directing it. Like it was a bit of a feud.

[Ben Falcone]

Didn't know what I was doing very much, you know, because you're learning. Any first time director, prepare it as much as you can. And we had wonderful producers helping us, giving us great advice. But that feeling of just learning on the fly, knowing that I need to get coverage, you know? Right.

[Melissa McCarthy]

What does that mean? Also you were always saying like, I don't know. I'm aware I have to do something. Someone smarter explain how to do that.

[Ben Falcone]

So I was smart enough to know what I didn't know. I love Tammy for that. I have this weird thing because I go through a post. You watch your movie 100 million as you know. So I don't watch a movie until at least five years after we've released it. I haven't seen Thunder. We're getting close. Well no, because it came out I guess in 21, but we shot it in 2019. I just recently saw Life of the Party. What I like about that, especially today is it is just a movie that's supposed to be funny. She's really funny throughout the whole frickin movie. The women are great in it and it was maybe the most fun just to. Because everybody's like, you sure you want to get a bunch of women in their 20s probably going to be bitches? You know, literally everybody.

[Melissa McCarthy]

Oh boy. That's going to. I'm like, that was the most joyous.

[Ben Falcone]

People aren't going to leave their room and they're going to want to wear prettier shit or whatever.

[Monica Padman]

Jesus.

[Melissa McCarthy]

That's the same person that's like tickle, tickle, tickle, tickle.

[Ben Falcone]

But I love that movie for shooting it. All of them are different vibes. But that movie is just not trying too hard. It's just trying to tell this little story and it's like we're going to put her in a lot of funny situations.

[Dax Shepard]

Hopefully.

[Ben Falcone]

Hopefully they're gonna work. I saw it recently and I enjoyed it.

[Dax Shepard]

Now, how do you get the idea to do Hildy, the bar back and the Lake of Fire? Are you guys Game of Thrones people? Did you love Game of Thrones?

[Ben Falcone]

I did.

[Melissa McCarthy]

I did. Then it got too rough for you, Ben.

[Ben Falcone]

Here's what happened to me. Are you a big one, too? Big. Game of Thrones. Okay, So I was huge into it. I loved it. It was on Sunday nights, Right. It was back before streaming was.

[Dax Shepard]

Really?

[Ben Falcone]

So you kind of had to tune into hbo.

[Dax Shepard]

You had to watch it.

[Ben Falcone]

Yeah. So I'm super into. Especially. Cause I got in after that sort of more awkward first season where it was like, we're the sexy show. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But then there was the part where Pedro Pascal gets on the show.

[Dax Shepard]

Yes.

[Ben Falcone]

And he's amazing. And then he does all this stuff and he's been so honorable, and he starts walking around the guy and doing this monologue, and I'm like, oh, my gosh, I know what's gonna happen. And then it was just this crazy, awful visual. I'm no good with horror stuff. So when he gets his eyes squished out, crushes his head and squishes his eyeballs shoot out of his head, surely. And I was horrified, but also I felt manipulated. Oh, so that was.

[Monica Padman]

That was kind of.

[Ben Falcone]

I felt betrayed.

[Melissa McCarthy]

It rattled you.

[Ben Falcone]

Now you're not being truthful to the character. I thought that they went for gore instead of truth. Does that make sense?

[Monica Padman]

Yeah.

[Ben Falcone]

Yeah. But I thought the show was incredible. And also, if I just weren't so scared of everything, I probably would have kept watching.

[Dax Shepard]

And then you stopped after that.

[Ben Falcone]

I did.

[Monica Padman]

Are you guys going to see the substance?

[Ben Falcone]

I've heard the substance is really good.

[Monica Padman]

Yeah, I've heard it really good. And it's apparently very gory.

[Melissa McCarthy]

Oh, he will not be seeing it.

[Dax Shepard]

I don't know what the substance is.

[Monica Padman]

It's a new Demi Moore movie.

[Ben Falcone]

Oh, yes.

[Melissa McCarthy]

Oh, I heard it's very good.

[Monica Padman]

Yes. And it apparently has tons of pop outs.

[Ben Falcone]

Okay, what's a pop out?

[Monica Padman]

A pop out is, you know.

[Dax Shepard]

Jump scare.

[Monica Padman]

Yeah.

[Dax Shepard]

Okay. That's a new.

[Monica Padman]

No jump scares, but that's standard.

[Dax Shepard]

Oh, okay.

[Monica Padman]

So it's like a plastic surgery type thing. Like she's trying to get youthful and I don't know all the deets, but apparently someone had a heart attack and a seizure and the G. Watch.

[Melissa McCarthy]

Oh, my God, that's terrible.

[Dax Shepard]

Isn't that funny? That makes you want to run out and see it.

[Monica Padman]

Not me. I was like, I can't see it.

[Melissa McCarthy]

I got scared.

[Monica Padman]

Yeah. I'm scared.

[Dax Shepard]

Is there a lot of strobe light in the film?

[Monica Padman]

No. I think they just got so scared.

[Melissa McCarthy]

Oh, my God.

[Monica Padman]

I know.

[Ben Falcone]

Then they'll do commercials about it. Remember all the commercials? That would be like, people were so scared. Scared they passed out.

[Dax Shepard]

Remember that under no circumstance see this film on March 19th.

[Ben Falcone]

Yes.

[Melissa McCarthy]

3:00Pm 3:30. 3, 35. I think I could watch all of that stuff before kids. And now I start to have weird dreams where my kids are now part of it. And I was like, ooh. So I can watch a lot more than Ben can.

[Ben Falcone]

The whole family can. So I'm the one who's like, what's going on in there? Why are we still watching it? It's fine if you are.

[Dax Shepard]

Are you knitting? When this happens in the other room, everybody will have earplugs.

[Ben Falcone]

I'm a huge Tolkien person. That was where all this barback business. So Steve Mallory pitched it to me because he knew how much I was into it. And he was like, women in the movies, which they are, I think really good movies, they don't do a lot. You've got Galadriel, who is super powerful and doesn't take the ring, but then gives everyone a powerful gift.

[Melissa McCarthy]

Oh, the action of it is never female. Yeah.

[Ben Falcone]

It's usually not. What's her name? The one who stabs the Witch King of Agmar in the face.

[Dax Shepard]

This is all Lord of the Rings.

[Ben Falcone]

So it's more. I grew up reading that.

[Dax Shepard]

You've had a lot of sketches over the years that I've seen that have this leaning D and D nerd guy stuff. Yes. Old English speak a little bit.

[Ben Falcone]

Yeah.

[Dax Shepard]

Okay. So Mallory said, what if.

[Ben Falcone]

He said, what if we do something that is just a straight up comedy? We get the funny women we know to be the heroes when the men fuck everything up, inevitably. And I was like, well, that feels like a story for today. It's taken a while. Cause as you said, it's not an easy one. We weren't like, oh, we're just gonna pick up things and do. I mean, I know you do tons of research, but I think a lot of people just sort of come on and don't do much. But we were like, oh, we're gonna do the opposite.

[Melissa McCarthy]

They built a world. There's a map. They started with the map. And I was like, okay, this sounds kind of amazing.

[Dax Shepard]

Yeah. And there's eight. How long are the episodes?

[Ben Falcone]

Eight, 30 minutes. Ish.

[Dax Shepard]

Yeah.

[Ben Falcone]

We're working on second season.

[Dax Shepard]

Set the scene for us. Of course, McCarthy's playing Hildy. And you're a bar back?

[Melissa McCarthy]

My bar back. And I do all of the work. It was her father's tavern. That, of course, has been given to my brother Fennec, who Steve Mallory plays, even though he's a complete imbecile. But they're like, well, women can't own property. So I do all the work and I'm not allowed to own it.

[Dax Shepard]

And he strolls in and offers everyone free drinks every now and then.

[Ben Falcone]

Fucks everything up, trying to be cool. So what happens is in the first, as in all of these stories, there's some sort of inciting incident, which is that we learn that a bunch of the bad people.

[Dax Shepard]

What are they called?

[Ben Falcone]

They're called morliths. And they're coming across the countryside and they're coming straight for the village. Hildy tries to convince them to use magic and different things to figure out a way to, like, what do they want? Where are they going? Maybe we could escape. And the guys of the village are like, sometimes you gotta put some armor on and kick some ass. And they go straight at the things and a dragon incinerates them all immediately. So it ends up that Hildy and her ragtag group of friends have to defeat this sort of incursion and then also figure out what the hell is going on.

[Dax Shepard]

Who plays the Potions person?

[Ben Falcone]

Mirabel is played by a really great actor named Anna Skotney. She lives in New Zealand.

[Dax Shepard]

Oh, she's a Kiwi.

[Monica Padman]

Yeah.

[Dax Shepard]

I thought it was an Aussie. They're gonna be so mad. But she's incredible.

[Ben Falcone]

Isn't she great? Incredible. She's such a great actor.

[Dax Shepard]

Was she already a friend?

[Ben Falcone]

She worked with us on God's Favorite Idiot when we were in Australia. She came over from New Zealand.

[Melissa McCarthy]

I saw her in I'm speaking on the name of it, but one of Taika's. And I was like, who is it? Like, when you just see someone and you're like, who is this human?

[Dax Shepard]

Yeah, yeah.

[Melissa McCarthy]

Like, she's.

[Ben Falcone]

She can do anything.

[Monica Padman]

Was it Hunt for the Wilder People?

[Melissa McCarthy]

No, no, no.

[Ben Falcone]

It was one where she played, like a super tough.

[Melissa McCarthy]

Yeah, we'll find it in action. I can see it, but I can't think of the name of it.

[Dax Shepard]

My actor like that right now is Walton Goggins. What can this guy not do? Did you guys watch Fallout by chance?

[Melissa McCarthy]

I loved it.

[Dax Shepard]

You saw it?

[Melissa McCarthy]

I loved Fallout too much for Is it scary? No, I think you could watch it.

[Dax Shepard]

Is it scary?

[Ben Falcone]

She gently held my hand and goes I think you could watch it, honey.

[Dax Shepard]

Watch everything first, like a child.

[Melissa McCarthy]

And then I just know. And my kids do. He gets upset.

[Ben Falcone]

I'm a fragile flower. I just. I just can't. There's too many bad things in the world.

[Dax Shepard]

Okay, so you wrote it all. How long does it take to record it? Who's producing it? It turned out so good because this is not a realm you were ever in.

[Ben Falcone]

We're learning kind of as we go. So we recorded it at our office. Steve Mallory taught himself how to use a program of. So that we could record it.

[Dax Shepard]

In a way, he's very competent.

[Ben Falcone]

Right. He's very technically competent. And he sort of loves that wormhole stuff where I'm like, I'm tired.

[Dax Shepard]

I'm scared.

[Ben Falcone]

And then Damon Jones, who, you know.

[Dax Shepard]

Yes. Also at poker.

[Ben Falcone]

Yep. He's been writing all the songs as well. Yeah.

[Melissa McCarthy]

There's an original song in each.

[Ben Falcone]

Each one has an original song.

[Melissa McCarthy]

Yeah, we're in it.

[Ben Falcone]

So the first one, it's why would you ever fuck with a dragon? Is the song. There's funny, crazy. And then we just sort of said, well, hey, Damon, what would happen if you started editing them? So he edited one. Candace Brown edited one.

[Dax Shepard]

Oh, really?

[Monica Padman]

Yeah.

[Ben Falcone]

Mallory edited the first one.

[Dax Shepard]

The whole team. Yeah.

[Ben Falcone]

It's been amazing just to bring the family together and see who can do what and pitch in.

[Dax Shepard]

I would imagine at first glance, you're like, oh, this is a great world in which we could try an idea we wouldn't try to pitch to a studio. We can execute something and then come to find out it's as much work. That's my guess.

[Ben Falcone]

Yeah. This would be such an expensive movie to make. Who knows what anybody wants at any time, but it's just hard to sell a really expensive comedy with giant high concepts. So we're like, you know what? What if we do it in such a way that's easier? And then we found out, yeah, it's a lot to make. To do it poorly would have been pretty easy.

[Dax Shepard]

You need a lot of Foley. You need a lot of, like, stuff going.

[Melissa McCarthy]

All that, like, oh, wait, we have to figure out what kind of hooves do we want to hear?

[Ben Falcone]

We are used to studios being behind us and having access to fact checks, legal things. And then you're like, oh, who's doing. Oh, that's me.

[Dax Shepard]

That's us, too.

[Monica Padman]

That's me.

[Ben Falcone]

Okay, cool.

[Dax Shepard]

All the creative and that, Stu.

[Melissa McCarthy]

But then people would come in, like, Mike Hitchcock comes in, and it's just so stupid. And then you're like, my God, we've known this person forever. They're that funny. It's just nonsense. And then one after the next. It would be so fun doing the sessions that even with all the work so far, I think anybody who's been killed in the first season, they all come back second season as their twin.

[Ben Falcone]

If we really love somebody's performance, you're like, like, all right, you're gonna come back as your own twins, but they're too good.

[Melissa McCarthy]

So I'm like, well, Hitchcock has to come back.

[Ben Falcone]

No, Hitchcock stays alive. So he could just be himself. He's a wannabe wizard.

[Monica Padman]

How fun, you guys.

[Dax Shepard]

Yeah, I think everyone's in an interesting phase, I guess. Here's my question. I've got to ask it to a few people. Do you lament what's happening at comedy, or do you go, oh, my God, thank God that we got to do it in a version that we grew up watching? Like, you guys got to go make good budget comedies for a long time. And are you just in the lamenting phase, or are you in the like, oh, my God, we got in before. It was almost impossible.

[Melissa McCarthy]

I think it has to come back. I think the world needs it. I can't do anything important. I can't clean up the air. I can't fix climate. I just know how to do stupid things to maybe make people forget that the air needs to be cleaned up. And I just think the narrative is being sold that they don't work. And yet I'm stopped 15 times a day where people are like, I need to come home from my difficult job, and I need to watch you make an ass of yourself, break your nose. You've got it. That's all I can do. And I really think things are cyclical. I think people need them, people want them. And like, anything you can start to make a narrative of what is it doesn't mean it's true. I think we'll circle back.

[Ben Falcone]

I would say, like, grateful but greedy. We'll do stuff like, we're doing this thing. Who knows what it could be? Someday somebody may go, like, now that we know that it works, we can do a version of that in some way or other. And meanwhile, we're working on other stuff where she's pitching me jokes in the car. I dare to say I think we'll do some more stuff. And now will the budgets be what they were? Probably not for a while, until the next one works.

[Melissa McCarthy]

I really want to be part of getting people back in theaters, not to be like, oh, it's in service of. But there's a weird thing that happens when you sit with a bunch of strangers and you have a collective experience, especially laughing together.

[Dax Shepard]

Laughing together, feeling for someone together is really popular.

[Melissa McCarthy]

That's easy to do. But laughing together or rooting for somebody together I think did more for us as humans than we give credit to.

[Dax Shepard]

Yeah.

[Ben Falcone]

Yeah.

[Melissa McCarthy]

And I think we trained people to stop doing it. It went pretty quickly, but it was strategically done. And I remember being like, why are you training people to stop needing your wares? And I think you can get it back.

[Ben Falcone]

There have been a couple jokes that I remember that we did like in Tammy. She's a conservative woman. To me, like, I was. They're writing the character, but I still fully want to hang out with Tammy.

[Monica Padman]

Yeah.

[Ben Falcone]

And I think that whole thing, our culture, our country, you know, especially people online and the Internet, they're so against each other and angry with each other all the time. And I think there's something about having Tammy say a joke like, oh, man, gas prices are so high. Thanks, Obamacare. So the audience, I remember being at.

[Melissa McCarthy]

So many screenings, it was a weirdest laugh.

[Ben Falcone]

There would be this big laugh and then there would be a really big second laugh. And then still at the end, people are like, should I be offended? Who's she making fun of?

[Melissa McCarthy]

Audience laugh because they're like, fucking Obama. And then the other half was like, oh, my God, she's an idiot. That's not Obama. It was the weirdest split laugh. And every time it was consistent and it was like, okay, that worked weird ways to different people.

[Ben Falcone]

We're sort of offending everybody all at once, but in a very loving, prodding way. Critics or whoever can think our movies can be a little too heartwarming or a little too physical, but we're actually trying to not get people to sit back on their couch and go, that was clever, with a little wry grin. We're trying to get people to laugh hard. We test them to try to make sure they really do it. And sometimes to do it, you gotta fall down some fucking stairs.

[Dax Shepard]

Sure.

[Melissa McCarthy]

Yeah. Literally send her down.

[Ben Falcone]

What's great about this one? She's like, I should fall down some more stairs.

[Dax Shepard]

Do you have any chronic injuries?

[Melissa McCarthy]

Oh, yeah.

[Dax Shepard]

You've been hard on yourself.

[Melissa McCarthy]

Stunt women would be like, you should not be doing it. And I'm like, I love it. I really did love it. And they're like, yeah, but the thing is, you're gonna get around 50 and you're gonna be an old, beat up stuntwoman.

[Dax Shepard]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Melissa McCarthy]

And that's exactly what happened. Like, my hips are crazy.

[Dax Shepard]

What if you started hanging out with NFL retirees? Cause you guys are really.

[Melissa McCarthy]

This meniscus is still ripped out at the root. It's been like seven years.

[Dax Shepard]

Yeah.

[Melissa McCarthy]

I just got weird things where I'm like, oh, this is what they meant. But then still, if we go to do something again, I'll be like, no, I'm going to. I have gotten better, but now anything up on wires, I love. It's literally my happiest place on the planet.

[Ben Falcone]

So Thunder force.

[Melissa McCarthy]

She loves jumping, spinning, and turning and flipping.

[Dax Shepard]

Oh, you love it?

[Melissa McCarthy]

I love it. I love it.

[Dax Shepard]

I don't like the harness. I don't mind be up.

[Ben Falcone]

But it hurts to have it so tight.

[Dax Shepard]

Penis intestine.

[Melissa McCarthy]

It hurt my penis quite a bit. No, the trick is, if it's so tight that you can't stand it when you're on the ground, then when you.

[Dax Shepard]

Go up, it's nice.

[Ben Falcone]

Did you hear the part he said about the penis intestine?

[Dax Shepard]

Yeah.

[Ben Falcone]

It's just a little different for the fellas. Fits in the wrong place.

[Dax Shepard]

And then you're constantly on set. Your. I am at least pulling out all freeing a testicle from one of the straps. Yeah. And you're in.

[Ben Falcone]

Sorry. Please don't. And everybody's job is to look at you really closely. That's literally my job. To look at Dax's midsection.

[Dax Shepard]

How much of his dick and balls are visible in this nude colored spandex short yarn. I'm blown away that the appetite is still thriving.

[Melissa McCarthy]

To make stuff.

[Dax Shepard]

Yeah.

[Melissa McCarthy]

I love it. Especially when it just comes up. Literally. We're like, cooking or something, and then just a song comes on or like a stupid bit. A lot of times in the car, we start to build the stupid world, the thing we're working on. I got so excited because I'm like, oh, my God. I know. She wears Wranglers, Right? That was all I needed to. To be like, oh, my God.

[Dax Shepard]

Yeah. Someone asked you in an interview I watched this morning that was like, how do you get into this or that character? And you're like, wig is step one.

[Melissa McCarthy]

The wig does all.

[Dax Shepard]

Now you're in your real hair, right?

[Melissa McCarthy]

It's my real hair.

[Dax Shepard]

Completely mistrude.

[Melissa McCarthy]

I've been bald for 17 years.

[Dax Shepard]

Oh, my God. What to reveal that would be since I've known you. Or you have a little mohawk or something.

[Ben Falcone]

Just a little treat under there.

[Melissa McCarthy]

We just call it patchy. God, I love a wig.

[Dax Shepard]

So going forward we're going to keep pushing for movies, live experience.

[Ben Falcone]

Yes, we are. Yeah.

[Melissa McCarthy]

There's so much dark. It's like anything that leans towards something joyful and funny. And also, you gotta fuck stuff up. You gotta make fun of people in a certain way because at some point, you're gonna be the one made fun of, and you have to be able to be like, yeah, I am like that. I'm an ass. But everybody's kind of getting made fun of. Everybody's trying to pick teams so much. It's so boring, and it gets us nowhere.

[Dax Shepard]

Well, I adore you guys. I'm really glad that we've all stayed in touch. I had so much fun at poker the other night.

[Ben Falcone]

You're on the list, as you know. I put him on the email list. He wanted it to be official.

[Dax Shepard]

And I was sadly out of town last week, but it got canceled. I was so happy to find out. I'm sad for you guys. I'm happy for me. I didn't miss it.

[Ben Falcone]

We'll do it again shortly. But he can only be the surprise guest once, so there won't be a fog machine.

[Dax Shepard]

That's fine. I was nervous about the end. It had been a long time since I had performed.

[Ben Falcone]

He was great. There were a lot of fist pumps. When in doubt, he came in, get physical. There's a lot of pieces to it because you're trying to keep somebody in that sort of back room. And so he has to also.

[Dax Shepard]

Do I have to operate the smoke chain?

[Ben Falcone]

He had to operate the smoking chain because I don't have, like a. You know, I don't have anything.

[Dax Shepard]

There's no way for you to cue me, right? No.

[Ben Falcone]

So I start playing the music loud enough that I think he can hear it, and I'm like, it's time. And he's like, let's.

[Monica Padman]

Do you know what? I love? You've continued to be at the Growlings your whole life. It's so impressive and so awesome.

[Dax Shepard]

I'm very jealous of it. It's so great. I guess that's just my last question. I say this all the time. It's been so fun, the ride, but it didn't ever get better for me than the Sunday Company. If I'm measuring fun and, like, the right reasons and no expectations and crazy.

[Melissa McCarthy]

Schedule that you couldn't get comfy.

[Dax Shepard]

No.

[Melissa McCarthy]

And then you got used to that. And also, you make so many mistakes that probably the healthiest thing I've ever done is I bombed enough so quickly that I was like. And I just Stopped caring. And I. You're going to fall in your face repeatedly and often. And that's what Sunday company. And then to watch everybody else just be like, yeah, who cares? Yeah, of course you're going to bomb.

[Dax Shepard]

Well, actually, I would say that my fondest memories are yes.

[Ben Falcone]

Even if it's so skeevy at that moment.

[Dax Shepard]

But later, you walk off stage in the dark, and then you get in the green room and you turn and you look at each other to acknowledge how bad it just went. That exact moment for me is the funnest feeling of my whole existence.

[Melissa McCarthy]

Just a real dunk of shade.

[Dax Shepard]

And you go, oh, my God.

[Ben Falcone]

They didn't laugh once.

[Dax Shepard]

That was terrible.

[Melissa McCarthy]

And there's different kinds. It's like sometimes they just weren't getting it, and then other times, you were like, I was palpably hated. Not only do they not like what I'm selling, they're angry at me and they strongly dislike.

[Dax Shepard]

They didn't like the product, and they did not like the delivery device even more than they didn't like the product. Oh, it's so fun. All right, well, I adore you guys. I hope everyone listens to Hildy, the Barback and the Lake of Fire. I listen to it. It's so well done. I can't believe that's your first foray into this. It's really, really. Well, thank you.

[Monica Padman]

Thanks for coming.

[Melissa McCarthy]

Thanks for putting on costumes with us.

[Dax Shepard]

Yeah, thanks for advantizing.

[Melissa McCarthy]

I'm gonna go to Trader Joe's now. I'm gonna go shopping.

[Dax Shepard]

Amazing.

[Ben Falcone]

The last thing they said to her, they're like, you don't have to go to the bathroom, do you? How does that happen?

[Dax Shepard]

You're gonna have to cut the back.

[Monica Padman]

Oh, yeah.

[Melissa McCarthy]

I'm just gonna claw my way out.

[Dax Shepard]

Of it Paul Colgan style. All right, love you guys.

[Ben Falcone]

Love you guys.

[Dax Shepard]

Stay tuned for the Fact so you can hear all the facts that were wrong. We're in the dog days of warmth. I just looked at the calendar ahead. Next Tuesday, it stops.

[Monica Padman]

Really?

[Dax Shepard]

Or it begins however you want to look at it. Fall will be here. It'll be in the 60s.

[Monica Padman]

Phew.

[Dax Shepard]

Oh, good. Phew.

[Monica Padman]

Yeah, I'm ready.

[Dax Shepard]

You like your heat, though, but you're on foot. Is that why you're not liking it?

[Monica Padman]

Sweaters.

[Dax Shepard]

Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Monica Padman]

Love sweaters. And, yeah, I've been hot lately for my wogs. Yeah.

[Dax Shepard]

Cause your car is being fixed.

[Monica Padman]

It's fixed.

[Dax Shepard]

It's fixed.

[Monica Padman]

It arrived today.

[Dax Shepard]

You saw it?

[Monica Padman]

I just saw it.

[Dax Shepard]

How's it look great? It does.

[Monica Padman]

It looks great. You're not gonna believe it.

[Dax Shepard]

Okay, let's tell people this story. Let's just say that you had a little incident with a pole.

[Monica Padman]

I did.

[Dax Shepard]

Passenger rear door, and it's pretty demolished. And you took it didn't look good for an estimate somewhere to get fixed. And what was the estimate?

[Monica Padman]

$10,000.

[Dax Shepard]

$10,000, right. And so I said, hey, I got a great guy, like in the Valley Louie, who I found through Tyler, who's fixed my shit all the time. He's fixed the back of the. I have ruined the tailgate of my pickup truck three full times with the trailer where the fuel tank on back crushed them. I've always found him so affordable. So I asked him, I put you on a chain. I said, can you help my friend Monica?

[Monica Padman]

Yeah.

[Dax Shepard]

All right. So original estimate was $10,000. And what was his estimate?

[Monica Padman]

$650.

[Dax Shepard]

It's like you either time traveled to get it done or you took it to some other country.

[Monica Padman]

I was shocked when I got that number. And then I thought, well, there's no way. Probably once he gets in there, he's gonna be like, this is more than 650. But even still, I was like, even if it's double that, it's.

[Dax Shepard]

So if it's quadruple that, it's still less than half of what the other.

[Monica Padman]

Exactly.

[Dax Shepard]

Even I. When I heard that estimate, I was like, I mean, did he look at it also? There's no way he's gonna be able to fix it for that price. And you're saying it looks great?

[Monica Padman]

Looks great.

[Dax Shepard]

What a delight.

[Monica Padman]

And it was 6:50.

[Dax Shepard]

Some people are still honest.

[Monica Padman]

I know, I know.

[Dax Shepard]

Maybe too honest.

[Monica Padman]

I just ran out there, cuz Juancho dropped it off out there.

[Dax Shepard]

Shout out, Juancho.

[Monica Padman]

Yes. And I. I went and I got it and I somehow lost my phone in the process.

[Dax Shepard]

Oh.

[Monica Padman]

So it's probably in the car, I hope, but I don't know.

[Dax Shepard]

Yeah, you lose your phone enough that you can be relaxed when it's missing, right?

[Monica Padman]

I'm not relaxed. It's like stressing me out.

[Dax Shepard]

I wouldn't even be able to function in this fact check.

[Monica Padman]

It's a good challenge to not be so attached.

[Dax Shepard]

You're right. It's a great mental exercise. I have so much to cover. Once in a blue moon, I make a list of things I want to cover in the fact check. And that blue moon has arrived.

[Monica Padman]

Oh, boy. Because I also have a list.

[Dax Shepard]

Oh, you do? Personal or episode related?

[Monica Padman]

Well, I have A list of facts, but then I also have personals.

[Dax Shepard]

That's a given. Yeah, I'm going to get off my list.

[Ben Falcone]

Okay.

[Dax Shepard]

Do you want to go first? I don't want to presume to go first.

[Monica Padman]

I do want to talk about my finger.

[Dax Shepard]

Okay, great. Okay, let's talk about it.

[Monica Padman]

Okay. So we were.

[Dax Shepard]

I'm. Put this down and I'm sorry if it's triggering that. I know where my phone is.

[Monica Padman]

I. It's a little. And it's taunting me. I can look your phone.

[Dax Shepard]

I have your phone. Now you can relax.

[Monica Padman]

Oh, great. We were in Austin and it was really fun.

[Dax Shepard]

It always delivers.

[Monica Padman]

Yeah.

[Dax Shepard]

God bless Austin.

[Monica Padman]

It was so fun.

[Dax Shepard]

American by birth, Texan by the grace of God. That's what they say. Yeah.

[Monica Padman]

They also say, bigger the hair, the closer to God.

[Dax Shepard]

Oh, I've not heard that one.

[Monica Padman]

That's. The higher the hair, the closer to God. One of those.

[Dax Shepard]

Also they say when you're bowling for a finish, you're follow through, shake the hand with the Lord.

[Monica Padman]

Oh, wow. I've never heard that.

[Dax Shepard]

Isn't that great, my friend Kirk.

[Monica Padman]

Let's try that. So we were in Austin and I was at breakfast, and Great. Breakfast.

[Dax Shepard]

Was I there or there's a sip.

[Monica Padman]

You were not there.

[Dax Shepard]

This is when I went with Ang to.

[Monica Padman]

Yes. You went to another lunch spot and I had a massage, so I had to. Our schedule were not aligning, so I went to.

[Dax Shepard]

You blew me off several times. Which I just tipped my hat to you. You really were on a. You were on your own path. Well, Blue, I invited you to a party.

[Monica Padman]

We'll circle back to this conversation. Okay.

[Dax Shepard]

Earmark. So not a sponsor. Earmark.

[Monica Padman]

That's a great name for a business, actually.

[Dax Shepard]

Earmark. Yeah, we just copyrighted it. Don't try.

[Monica Padman]

Don't take it.

[Dax Shepard]

Get all the handles wrong.

[Monica Padman]

It's already ours. We already got it. Okay. So I was walking. You know, I love to walk when I'm on vacation.

[Dax Shepard]

Yeah.

[Monica Padman]

I go to random locations and then I walk for a long time back to my original destination. Starting to my destination in my original location.

[Dax Shepard]

Yeah.

[Monica Padman]

So I was like 35 minutes from the hotel and I'm walking and I'm listening to Elizabeth and Andy. Nobody's listening.

[Melissa McCarthy]

Right.

[Monica Padman]

And it's so lovely.

[Dax Shepard]

Dream weather.

[Monica Padman]

75 every day, great weather. And all of a sudden I feel like something's sort of in my hair. And since I had headphones in, I was like, oh, May, my thing is caught. And I swatted it with my hand and I got stung Sting and maybe.

[Dax Shepard]

Even sting, sting, sting.

[Monica Padman]

I'm starting to wonder if there was multiple stings. Yeah, so I was shook and I like grabbed my hand. The stinger was still half in.

[Dax Shepard]

You saw it?

[Monica Padman]

Uh huh. Okay, it had white stuff.

[Dax Shepard]

Well then only one.

[Monica Padman]

No. Unless it stung and then that's where it ended.

[Dax Shepard]

Okay, that's a good point.

[Monica Padman]

Yeah. So then I yanked it out. I'm not sure if I got it all.

[Dax Shepard]

Well, do you see a black dot anywhere?

[Monica Padman]

There's a dot.

[Dax Shepard]

There is. You may need Carly. Oh God.

[Monica Padman]

I don't want her to get in there.

[Dax Shepard]

You might need her to get in there so there's nobody better.

[Monica Padman]

I know, I know.

[Dax Shepard]

What lobby.

[Ben Falcone]

She did it for Calvin once too.

[Dax Shepard]

Yeah, she's. Guys, if you're out there, use Louie as paint and body and use my sister Carly for any minor elective surgeries.

[Monica Padman]

She is good at anywho. So that was a bummer, right? Like it hurt obviously, but I was like, whatever.

[Dax Shepard]

Yeah.

[Monica Padman]

And I have a ring on that finger. A very important ring.

[Dax Shepard]

Sweetest story.

[Monica Padman]

So like a super thin gold ring with a tiny, tiny diamond on it. And I bought it after I booked my first commercial here.

[Dax Shepard]

See, that's the really cute part.

[Monica Padman]

Yeah, I was really.

[Dax Shepard]

You went out and spoiled yourself a little bit.

[Monica Padman]

I did, yeah. I was proud of myself for booking that role.

[Dax Shepard]

I'm proud of myself.

[Monica Padman]

I'm proud of myself. I'm proud of myself. I was. And I. Yeah. So I bought that ring. So this, this is like 12 years.

[Dax Shepard]

Ago, probably 13, 25 year old baby.

[Monica Padman]

I barely take that ring off. I've taken it off a couple other times in life for like an hour. Yeah, but it's hard to get off even when even normally. It's very hard to get off. It fits perfect like a glove. And I didn't anticipate what would happen next, which is that my hand would. My finger would start swelling like crazy.

[Dax Shepard]

Well, ballooned up. We could use the word ballooned.

[Monica Padman]

Yeah. And so by the time, the next morning, by the time I looked at it, the finger was enormous and the ring was extremely tight.

[Dax Shepard]

I took one look at it and then I had to fight off a panic attack because, you know, my only phobias are really claustrophobia. Somehow that fits in claustrophobia for me. I don't wear rings because the few times I've put them on, even if it's a little questionable whether it's going to come off, I panic. And in fact, like on parenthood, I had to wear a wedding Ring and I got to wear. The only way I can wear one is if it's way too big and then it's falling off.

[Monica Padman]

I know.

[Dax Shepard]

So it's a whole thing, but I hate that. So I took a look at that, and I was like, fuck that. We gotta get that off of you right now. Should I go buy pliers?

[Monica Padman]

I know. And I said, absolutely not. This is a very important ring.

[Dax Shepard]

Yeah. It's the source of all your good luck.

[Monica Padman]

Yes.

[Melissa McCarthy]

That's.

[Monica Padman]

We'll get into that. Because. So I was like, this is an important ring. Without it, who am I? And yes. All my money and luck and a fortune is attached to this ring and safety and security.

[Dax Shepard]

Yes.

[Monica Padman]

So I was like, it'll be fine. This is probably the biggest it'll get. It'll go down, be fine. Cut to, like, the next day. It's worse then.

[Dax Shepard]

Was that a Thursday? You got it?

[Monica Padman]

I got it on Thursday. Stung on Thursday. Friday, it didn't look good. Saturday, it didn't look good.

[Dax Shepard]

No.

[Monica Padman]

And Sunday, I was flying home.

[Dax Shepard]

Yeah.

[Monica Padman]

We flew separately.

[Dax Shepard]

Yeah.

[Monica Padman]

I woke up and I was like, oh, my God, what am I doing? Like, I'm about to get on this plane. The pressure is going to be so intense on the plane. And what if it's a blood? Like, I hadn't thought about this, but I was like, what if this is, like, a blood clot situation?

[Dax Shepard]

I said immediately, this could be gangrene.

[Monica Padman]

I know. Gangrene I'm not as worried about as I am a blood clot and an aneurysm, because I'm very scared of aneurysms.

[Dax Shepard]

Okay. And I need to point out, we were recording yesterday, and I pointed this out. It pointed out here, this wonderful jus of you both being terrified of aneurysms and blood clots and what I might deem a hypochondriac. I know you'll push back on that, but I think you're a hypochondriac. And simultaneous to being a hypochondriac, when you have legitimate injuries and problems, you completely ignore them.

[Monica Padman]

So I just want to be fine.

[Dax Shepard]

That's ignoring them. Your ear was so, so infected and nearly gangrous, and you let it go on for. How long was that? Escapades? A month.

[Monica Padman]

It was a while.

[Dax Shepard]

It was so long. You look like you were a rugby player or an MMA fighter. You look like you had cauliflower ear.

[Monica Padman]

No, I didn't.

[Dax Shepard]

Yes, you did. You had cauliflower ear.

[Monica Padman]

No. And I say cauliflower don't stop saying cauliflower.

[Dax Shepard]

You had cauliflower ear down in Louisville. Louisville.

[Monica Padman]

I didn't have that.

[Dax Shepard]

Okay. It was disgusting. It was. It looked like you were going to go septic or sepsis, whatever the word is, really quickly. And. And then people may remember. I performed surgery on you.

[Monica Padman]

You did.

[Dax Shepard]

And it's a great video. Back to Carly. She watches it weekly.

[Monica Padman]

She loves that video.

[Dax Shepard]

Probably just to brush up on her skills.

[Monica Padman]

Yeah. So Sunday morning, I think, what have I done? I've made a huge mistake. Also, I'm flying separately from you, so if I have an aneurysm, I'll be by myself.

[Dax Shepard]

Yeah.

[Monica Padman]

I hadn't even anticipated the fact that that could be. I thought, like, you know, the pressure, but I was like, I'll deal with it. I'll put ice on it. But then when I got in my head that there could be a blood. Because, you know, you are more prone to blood clots on a plane.

[Dax Shepard]

Yes, that's true. So because of inactivity.

[Melissa McCarthy]

Right.

[Monica Padman]

But since I was pulling up all the blood in my finger, I didn't know what I was. I didn't know what I had set myself.

[Dax Shepard]

Yeah. I don't want to beat a dead horse, but when you don't have circulation, what you risk is that that blood will become necrotic and poisonous. And when that happens, it starts spreading, and then we're lobbing off body parts. People get gangrene on their toes and they lose their whole foot. So, like you're. You were. You're playing with fire.

[Monica Padman]

I was playing with fire.

[Dax Shepard]

And you're worried about a clot, which is not the right thing. Now we'll get comments from physicians. Maybe I'm wrong.

[Monica Padman]

Hold on.

[Dax Shepard]

I know I'm being a little too heated.

[Monica Padman]

Yeah.

[Dax Shepard]

But as your friend, I'm like, let's get this thing off you before you have. What if you didn't have your middle finger right now?

[Monica Padman]

I know what. Look, it's still. It's still a little precarious. We'll get to that.

[Dax Shepard]

You struggle with your self image enough. AI had in there four fingers on one hand. You think going to be overcome that you're a babe.

[Monica Padman]

I'm very strong.

[Dax Shepard]

You're a babe. And you think you're a dog. Imagine now you have four, nine fingers all in. You'd have to cut off another one to make it even. That's a side note.

[Monica Padman]

Okay.

[Dax Shepard]

Okay.

[Monica Padman]

Now, I did decide that morning that this ring's probably got to go before I get on this plane. But then I Thought, how the fuck am I going to do that? So then I went into the cupboard at the hotel and I got the one wine opener and I was trying to use that to get it off. That is a pretty good idea. Why are you looking like that? That's a good idea when there's no pliers around.

[Dax Shepard]

That's a terrible idea. Why?

[Monica Padman]

That's the sharpest object and all you.

[Dax Shepard]

Were going to add to that. Yes. It's a sharp object that you're going to be like going like this with. It's so not controlled. You're going to be putting a ton of pressure on the corner of that and you're going to now slice open your big donut finger.

[Monica Padman]

I was worried about that.

[Dax Shepard]

You're walking water weeny finger. The fucking ring's still gonna be on there. Now you're gushing blood. I mean, maybe some of the pressure. Anyways.

[Monica Padman]

Anyway, I tried it a couple times. Didn't work.

[Dax Shepard]

I'm so glad you didn't slice your finger in half.

[Monica Padman]

So then I get to the airport and I am starting to panic a little bit. I get my ice. I'm trying to ice it. Nothing's really happening. And then I decide to buy. I had Advil already. I decided to buy aspirin and Benadryl.

[Melissa McCarthy]

Aspirin.

[Monica Padman]

Printing case of the clot in aneurysm.

[Dax Shepard]

You want to thin out your blood a little bit?

[Monica Padman]

Sure.

[Dax Shepard]

I need to add to people too, so they understand because we haven't really given them. I need people to understand that the diameter of your middle knuckle on your middle finger was twice the size of the diameter of where the ring was. Like. I need people to understand. This is a real cartoonish Robert Crumb drawing of a finger.

[Monica Padman]

I have a picture. It doesn't do it justice, but I will. I can post that.

[Dax Shepard]

It had that sense that if you poked it with a tiny needle, it would pop.

[Monica Padman]

Yeah, and I was poking it. It didn't pop.

[Dax Shepard]

Stay tuned for more armchair expert if you dare. Apple Card is the perfect card for your holiday shopping. When you use Apple Card on your iPhone, you'll earn up to 3% daily cash back on every purchase, including products at Apple like a new iPhone or Apple Watch Ultra. Apply now in the wallet app on your iPhone. Subject to credit approval. Apple card issued by Goldman Sachs Bank USA Salt Lake City branch terms and [e-mail].

[Monica Padman]

Okay. Anyway. And also okay. Our poor. One of our bosses was on our flight who we had just met.

[Dax Shepard]

Oh, really? You didn't tell Me that.

[Monica Padman]

Yes. So on your flight? On my flight, yeah. And I, and she's awesome. We had just met her and poor thing, I like email her and I was like, are you on this flight? And she said, yes, great, see you at the airport. And then she texted me, I'll see you there. And I was like, yeah. Also my finger, I got stung by a bee. My finger's huge and I'm a little worried it's going to explode.

[Dax Shepard]

I feel 8 years old right now.

[Monica Padman]

Yeah, I did. I felt, I felt like I was so glad there was going to be somebody else there thinking, okay, poor her. Cuz like she has two kids and she was on this vacation.

[Dax Shepard]

It was her first trip without kids. So now you, she has you as a kid.

[Monica Padman]

Deal with this kid. And she was so cute. She like arrived at the terminal with some ice, which is really nice. I already, I had already had got some ice for myself.

[Dax Shepard]

Of course.

[Monica Padman]

I also text my friend Sally, who is on the east coast because it was early. So I knew all my friends on the west coast would be asleep. So I texted Sally from Argent.

[Dax Shepard]

I did not know it had gotten to this level.

[Monica Padman]

Yeah, I know I didn't tell you. So I remember when you cut your.

[Dax Shepard]

Finger in your apartment. Yes, it sounds very similar to that.

[Monica Padman]

But that you are saying it's serious and now you're trying to act like it's not serious. So that's why I wanted to, that's why I wanted to set the table correctly, that this was a problem. Okay, now you're trying to act all like, well, isn't a problem, you're a hypochondriac.

[Dax Shepard]

No, it's a problem. But calling a friend in New York. Why?

[Monica Padman]

What? What?

[Dax Shepard]

Well, how is, how is she going to be a part of the game plan?

[Monica Padman]

Well, why don't you keep listening?

[Dax Shepard]

Okay. Okay.

[Monica Padman]

So I said, Sally, hey, I'm so sorry to bother you.

[Dax Shepard]

Hey, guy.

[Monica Padman]

Do you know any doctors or medical professionals on the east coast who could be up right now? And she said yes. And so she put me on two texts with two different people.

[Dax Shepard]

Okay.

[Monica Padman]

And I sent Sally picture my finger. And she sent the picture to them. And Sal, this is Monica. This is what happened. And I just said, hey, I'm just, you know, I'm about to get on the flight, I'm wondering if I should do anything. Should I take. Oh, this is another thing. I really didn't want to take the Benadryl because I didn't want to be sleepy all day. Okay.

[Dax Shepard]

Okay. So I You're juggling a lot of objectives.

[Monica Padman]

Do I need to take this Benadryl? I also have aspirin. Am I at risk for a blood clot? And the doctor said. He said, keep it eye on it. Maybe take the Benadryl. If it's starting to change color, you need to go to the ER and have it cut off right at the ring.

[Dax Shepard]

And just really quick not to escalate this, but it would change color. Not because of a blood clot.

[Monica Padman]

It doesn't matter. He was just. He said I wasn't at risk for the blood clot. So I felt better. I was like, okay, then this is fine. However, the second medical professional was like, can you get the ring off? You definitely need to take Benadryl. She seemed scared. More scared. Okay, okay.

[Dax Shepard]

Now, was there a lot of exclamation points in her text? How do you know she was scared?

[Monica Padman]

I could tell by the way it was punctuated.

[Dax Shepard]

What if her text response said, stop this exchange. Dial 911?

[Monica Padman]

I know. That's how it felt. Yeah, that's how it felt.

[Dax Shepard]

You kind of wanted them to say that a little bit.

[Monica Padman]

Because I was really. I was like, I gotta get home.

[Dax Shepard]

Right.

[Monica Padman]

I want to go home now. Yeah, I took the Benadryl.

[Dax Shepard]

Yeah.

[Monica Padman]

We get on the plane, I'm there with our boss.

[Dax Shepard]

She's taking you seated next to each other.

[Monica Padman]

Yeah, she saved me a seat, which was really nice. Oh, wow. Anyway, we chatted the whole time. We had a great flight. It was so fun. My finger didn't explode and I knew it wasn't clotting, so I was like, great. So Jess picks me up from the airport. I'm like, this is what happened. He was like, oh, my God, that looks horrible. We need to do something about this. And I was like, no, I made it through the flight, so I think it's at its peak now. I think it's going to go down. It's going to be.

[Dax Shepard]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Monica Padman]

So I'm back feeling very confident.

[Dax Shepard]

Yeah. Bullish.

[Monica Padman]

Then I woke up the next morning, and it did. It looked.

[Dax Shepard]

Well in the middle of the night. It got hot and itchy.

[Monica Padman]

Yeah.

[Dax Shepard]

You take more Benadryl.

[Monica Padman]

It's been happening for a couple days. And that's the other thing. It's still happening. Last night, I woke up in the middle of the night. It's, like, on fire and so itchy.

[Dax Shepard]

Yeah.

[Monica Padman]

What the fuck is going on?

[Dax Shepard]

Histamines. It's sending histamines there.

[Monica Padman]

So, anyway, yesterday. I mean, Monday.

[Dax Shepard]

Yeah.

[Monica Padman]

I arrive, the finger is looking Blue enough for me to be like, all right, we got to. And so you cut it off.

[Dax Shepard]

Hold on a second.

[Monica Padman]

Okay, now you can.

[Dax Shepard]

That's not exactly what happened. You didn't come to me and say, all right, I'm ready.

[Monica Padman]

In my head I did.

[Dax Shepard]

You said nothing. And then I looked at your finger and I said, by God, Monica, please let me cut that ring off.

[Monica Padman]

Well, I said, I want you and I don't want to.

[Dax Shepard]

And then I drugged you to my tool bench. I put ether over your face so.

[Monica Padman]

You'D pass out, and you stole all my money.

[Dax Shepard]

And then I snipped it off.

[Monica Padman]

Yeah, you did.

[Dax Shepard]

Real quick. Everything was solved.

[Monica Padman]

Yeah, well, it did immediately help. I was like, yeah, that definitely helped.

[Dax Shepard]

And the swelling went down.

[Monica Padman]

Swelling went down within a few hours. Like, it went down a lot. It's still swollen. Sure, sure, sure.

[Dax Shepard]

But it's not a water weenie.

[Monica Padman]

It's not at all what it looked like. I was able to move the ring to a different finger and I just like, sort of kind of closed in the back and I felt safe.

[Dax Shepard]

Yeah.

[Monica Padman]

But I. It's not going to last like that.

[Dax Shepard]

It's a very easy soldering for somebody.

[Monica Padman]

But am I going to go through all that trouble for this?

[Dax Shepard]

All that Ask Wancho to go to a jewelry store and get it soldered? Well, that doesn't sound very hard.

[Monica Padman]

It's like a. Fixing your door was a $200 ring. It's like, I'm going to do all this.

[Dax Shepard]

Yes, of course. And in fact, that's a great, like, message to the universe. Don't let exterior force is defined. Find value for you. That ring means more to you than any than your thousand dollar bone cuff or however much the thing is.

[Monica Padman]

Much. Yeah.

[Dax Shepard]

So of course, spare no expense because that has real value.

[Monica Padman]

I'm saying the opposite in my head. I'm like, monica, stop. You need to stop putting so much emphasis on material items. Like, it's a ring.

[Dax Shepard]

Yeah.

[Monica Padman]

It's not that big of a.

[Dax Shepard]

It's not in charge of your destiny.

[Monica Padman]

Yes.

[Dax Shepard]

It doesn't have magic powers.

[Monica Padman]

Yes.

[Dax Shepard]

But it is a thing that you bought as a reward for yourself when you came to a place to try to do something that was very hard and you did it and you were proud of yourself. And that's very sweet. And that's probably the most important piece of jewelry you actually have.

[Monica Padman]

It is, but I'm not, I'm not throwing it away. Well, no.

[Dax Shepard]

Get it fixed.

[Monica Padman]

Okay, fine. My God.

[Dax Shepard]

Send it to Louie. Send it to Louie. I bet if he. If he can fix your door for 650, he'll have this ring back on your finger for 12 bucks. Okay.

[Monica Padman]

Yeah.

[Dax Shepard]

Louie, are you listening? I don't think he's a listener yet. Yeah, that's a good point.

[Monica Padman]

So all to say, that was the drama, and I am really sad about the ring, and I'm gonna decide maybe I will fix it. It's very thin gold. I mean, I don't know. We'll see.

[Dax Shepard]

We'll see.

[Monica Padman]

And my finger still really hurts and.

[Dax Shepard]

Is really itchy, but it's way, way significantly better. Just like your ear got better really quick.

[Monica Padman]

Yeah.

[Dax Shepard]

Now, I know the issue you're trying to confront on this recent life challenge is don't assign so much power to these things.

[Monica Padman]

Yeah.

[Dax Shepard]

And that's a great one. But I would like you to also consider paying less attention to the things you don't have and more attention to the problems you do have.

[Monica Padman]

What do you mean?

[Dax Shepard]

Like, you'll spend so much time worrying about a blood clot that you don't have, and then you're not spending a lot of time on your ear or your finger, which are clearly up. So maybe just also that. Could I take that back? You're on your own path. It's going great.

[Monica Padman]

It's going pretty good.

[Dax Shepard]

It's going really good. Back to Austin.

[Monica Padman]

Yeah.

[Dax Shepard]

Really fun time.

[Monica Padman]

Yes.

[Dax Shepard]

We did a couple panels.

[Monica Padman]

Y.

[Dax Shepard]

We had Shout out. Not a sponsor. Lambert Steakhouse.

[Monica Padman]

Oh, my God.

[Dax Shepard]

Guys, we went out to eat on Wednesday with lovely Adam Grant. He was part of our panel.

[Monica Padman]

Yep.

[Dax Shepard]

Went to Lambert's. I got the ribeye.

[Monica Padman]

Yeah.

[Dax Shepard]

In three bites. In. The addict panicked.

[Monica Padman]

Yeah.

[Dax Shepard]

I need a second one of these because this. The thought of this being over is terrifying.

[Monica Padman]

Yeah.

[Dax Shepard]

It was so good. I don't know what's in it. A friend suggested it might have been marinated with maple syrup.

[Monica Padman]

Yeah.

[Dax Shepard]

It had horseradish, which you don't generally like, smeared all over the top with this very sweet glaze. Charred medium. The fat was all melted sweet.

[Monica Padman]

I mean, it was just like sugar.

[Dax Shepard]

It was like a Snickers bar or something.

[Monica Padman]

It was delicious.

[Dax Shepard]

My God, it was so good. And all I thought about every 10 minutes following that meal was getting another one. So we went back in two days.

[Monica Padman]

Yep.

[Dax Shepard]

And I did no sides or anything and just did two rib eyes.

[Monica Padman]

And I was worried, but you did just fine.

[Dax Shepard]

It felt so strong.

[Monica Padman]

Yeah.

[Dax Shepard]

I felt like a bull.

[Monica Padman]

Yeah.

[Dax Shepard]

I almost ran out the side of the restaurant through the brick wall instead of using the door. It was so good. Got to go to Barton Springs.

[Monica Padman]

Yep.

[Dax Shepard]

It was closed one day. Heartbreaker. I can never seem to remember their clothes for cleaning on Thursday. I can't tell you how many times I've driven there on Thursday. Unloaded all my. Walked to the gate and go, oh, yeah, that's right. They cleaned it on Thursday. That happened again. But went out with Rory and Ange a couple times. Big shout out to Rory. And Ang lent us an outrageously beautiful car. Couldn't rent a car. No inventory, because f. One weekend.

[Monica Padman]

Yep.

[Dax Shepard]

So I got this beautiful car. I'm almost embarrassed to say what it is, but I guess it's not my car. But it was a Bentley.

[Monica Padman]

It was a Bentley.

[Dax Shepard]

It was a green, sexy.

[Monica Padman]

It was gorgeous.

[Dax Shepard]

I felt like royalty driving it. I was like, oh, I understand why people drive these cars.

[Monica Padman]

Yeah.

[Dax Shepard]

Plush, fast and va.

[Monica Padman]

Dairy Queen in there. We had not in all over the car, Rory.

[Dax Shepard]

We didn't. We went to Dairy Queen twice. And you said, are we going to eat in the car? And I said, of course we're not going to eat in this car. This car costs as much as a house. How rude could that be? Borrow someone's Bentley and go to Dairy Queen. I was, oh, you also got a dip comb, which was a fucking mess. There was shit leaking all over all the side. Like, you would have destroyed that car. Well, I would have made your door.

[Monica Padman]

How are we going to do this? Like, I didn't even consider the fact that we wouldn't eat in the. I've never done that.

[Dax Shepard]

Yeah.

[Monica Padman]

So I. That wasn't even an option in my head. So I was kind of like, is this a good idea, us going to Dairy Queen in this car?

[Dax Shepard]

Right. But I knew we were going to eat outside because it's a dicey Dairy Queen, which I like. There's like. It's a parking lot is potentially.

[Monica Padman]

That's why I don't even think it's an option.

[Dax Shepard]

Been gunshots in the parking lot. How many? I won't claim, but definitely they've been inside the Dairy Queen and hearing gunshots. And I like that you sit outside and people this shit going on. Anyways, then we went to the sprint race.

[Monica Padman]

Yeah. Which was so fun.

[Dax Shepard]

So fun. Great race.

[Monica Padman]

We go with the Amazon, which was really nice.

[Dax Shepard]

Really fun. Guests of Amazon and Max Verstappen, who had not won in a while, won the sprint race, which made me so happy.

[Monica Padman]

Yep.

[Dax Shepard]

Didn't win the big race, but that's okay.

[Monica Padman]

Oh, he didn't.

[Dax Shepard]

He didn't. But Charles LeClaire didn't. That's nice. He hasn't won in a while, too. And I love Charles leclerc.

[Monica Padman]

Okay, great. Yeah, that was fun. You were a good luck charm.

[Dax Shepard]

I was a good luck charm. Then we went, same day. This might be the most eventful day of each day. When you talk about, like, going to see Beyonce or going to see Taylor Swift or going to a Super bowl, we got two of them in one day. A Formula One race in Austin is an event of a lifetime. And then in the evening, what did we do?

[Monica Padman]

We went to the Texas, Georgia game.

[Dax Shepard]

Texas. Georgia. This was the game of the century. I had not been. I had only been to a UCLA game. And no disrespect to my alma mater. What a fucking joke of a show they put on at UCLA compared to what's happening in Texas.

[Monica Padman]

What's happening in the SEC? The SEC?

[Dax Shepard]

Yeah. I know you're horny for the SEC. You must have said SEC like, 12 times while we were there.

[Monica Padman]

Because that's the truth.

[Dax Shepard]

And I'm sure you're right. I know nothing about that.

[Monica Padman]

Okay, well, yeah, but you kept going like, sec.

[Dax Shepard]

Yeah. Now you're in the sec. You like.

[Monica Padman]

It was the first because I was telling you. I'm confused because I don't remember us ever playing Texas while I was at Georgia. So I was confused.

[Dax Shepard]

The Longhorns hook them.

[Monica Padman]

Ew. Then I checked in with my friend Robby, who knows everything about college football, and I said, I don't remember this. And he said, we didn't play them because they just joined the SEC this year, first year. So it was a big deal. They're playing in the big leagues now.

[Dax Shepard]

Yep. That was mostly your point.

[Monica Padman]

Yep. It was because they were number one going into this game.

[Dax Shepard]

Okay. All great. They bring out Bovey. Is that the name with a mascot? I think a Longhorn hook him 2000 pound. Biggest mascot.

[Monica Padman]

Okay, what are we going to do? We're going to have a fight on this. I wanted to have the fight while we were there, but you were mad.

[Dax Shepard]

At me quite a bit. Yeah. You were mad at me quite a bit.

[Monica Padman]

Really mad. But now I'm getting actually mad.

[Dax Shepard]

You were pretty. You were kind of actually mad at me, if you don't remember.

[Monica Padman]

I wasn't, because I knew why. I understood why you were pretending to be a Texas fan there. Because. Because.

[Dax Shepard]

Should we.

[Monica Padman]

Should we be. Can we tell people what we were doing?

[Dax Shepard]

Yeah. We were guests of my new boyfriend, Matthew McConaughey. Well, we didn't see Him.

[Monica Padman]

We didn't see him because he's on the field.

[Dax Shepard]

I can do 45 minutes of makan. Makan is the actual mascot of Texas football. Bevo.

[Ben Falcone]

Bevo.

[Dax Shepard]

B, E V O. Bevo.

[Monica Padman]

We're sure that's how you pronounce it?

[Ben Falcone]

No, I've not.

[Dax Shepard]

Bevo. Bevo. If we were filming a movie of what happened, I, I. My guess is we're going to have to do about 12 takes to get the timing right of what happened when they showed McConaughey on the big screen. Well, first of all, the place is incredibly on fire. Oh, yeah, they're going hard. The jets fly over. There's smoke everywhere. They're running out pyrotechnics. Bo or Bud Bevy or Dove. Him. They run her out or him out. The Longhorns, you got hook them and then going around and then they show all the fun footage and everything, and they're kind of showing famous alumni and everything. And then all of a sudden, they show, like, some person's famous face and then thing. And then they show, like, a mystery face, and all of a sudden goes to a live shot, and McConaughey's back is to the camera, Right. And the second that shot comes on, he throws his head back and gives it the. The horns.

[Monica Padman]

Yeah. It was fantastic.

[Dax Shepard]

It was glorious.

[Monica Padman]

It was really good.

[Dax Shepard]

I'm like, this guy is magic, and he's on the field. I don't.

[Monica Padman]

He's the coach. He could be on the field. Yeah.

[Dax Shepard]

He owns the whole place.

[Monica Padman]

Yeah.

[Dax Shepard]

It's his team. It's MC Hay's Longhorns.

[Monica Padman]

Yeah.

[Dax Shepard]

And he's wearing a cowboy hat and a brown leather jacket, and he turned around and gave the horns, and his fucking face was glistening. I was like, this motherfucker is a star.

[Monica Padman]

He is a star. There's no getting around it. I know you are. And we were a guest of his. It was so sweet. We were in his suite.

[Dax Shepard]

Yes.

[Monica Padman]

And we were with his friends and his family, and they were all lovely.

[Dax Shepard]

Oh, my God. Nicest group of folks. That's telling, by the way. Like, I only know Ma so much. We went up Lambert's Ding, Ding, Ding.

[Monica Padman]

Yep.

[Dax Shepard]

And then we've interviewed him. But I think when you meet people's friends.

[Monica Padman]

Huge.

[Dax Shepard]

Yeah. You really understand who the person is.

[Monica Padman]

And his. His kids were so polite and nice and sweet. Oh, they're just lovely.

[Dax Shepard]

Two things. A. I love Austin. Austin's my place, you know, it's my spiritual calling. That's not the right word. Even though it's my spiritual center. I asked you if I love Austin. You know, I've wanted to move there a bunch of times. I. I told you recently, I really. If I had to do it all over again, I went to another college. It would definitely be University of Texas, Austin. I feel like that's my vibe.

[Monica Padman]

Uhhuh.

[Dax Shepard]

You're kid. You can't. You can't even walk with me a little bit?

[Monica Padman]

I can't because you already told me on the trip that you would rather live in Paris than Austin.

[Dax Shepard]

No, I think we were talking about time teleporting.

[Monica Padman]

No, we were not. I said. I said something about Austin, and then you said, well, I don't know if I wouldn't pick Paris.

[Dax Shepard]

Okay. But again, I don't speak French. All right? So as much as I love Paris, I'm not actually, when it comes down to it, certain I would live in Paris over Austin. None of this is here nor there.

[Monica Padman]

It's here.

[Dax Shepard]

So I, of course, wanted to support Texas because of our host. But then also, I love Texas. I love University of Texas. I love. What do you mean, I do.

[Monica Padman]

How do you love a.

[Dax Shepard]

Do you remember my last trip there? I went to the campus and wandered around, and I was looking at how they positioned the campus on the Capitol sight line and all. Do you remember all that? I've never wandered the campus of any other college other than Harvard.

[Monica Padman]

Yeah, but wander the campus.

[Dax Shepard]

I'm at my hotel. I'm like, I gotta walk around ut. I like this. I'm gonna go look at this place. I love this place. Anyways, anywho, okay.

[Monica Padman]

So I decided to maintain my integrity. You know, I'm a real crossroads here before we go to this game, because I am like, what the fuck am I going to do? Am I going to not wear Georgia clothes? Because that feels, like, really wrong in my bones.

[Dax Shepard]

Now here's my issue. So I was. Do you remember I was 100% supportive of you wearing your red. And I said, they'll love having you in the suite. It's fun to have one of the rivals there.

[Monica Padman]

Sure.

[Dax Shepard]

So I was, like, very supportive. And I said they would. And they did. They were like, oh, good.

[Monica Padman]

Yeah, they did.

[Dax Shepard]

We had a Georgia fan. And then there was fun. There was secretly three Georgia fans there, which we found out, which was fun.

[Monica Padman]

That was fun.

[Dax Shepard]

And so I was very supportive of you rooting on Georgia. And I don't know why you were so mad I was rooting on Texas.

[Monica Padman]

Do you. You don't see the difference? Me rooting for Georgia, a school I went to.

[Dax Shepard]

No, I fully understand why you were supporting Georgia, but.

[Monica Padman]

Yes. So it's not an equivalent for you to root for a school that you didn't go to and have no connection.

[Dax Shepard]

To, but I, like, I can have an affinity for, and I would. Naturally, if you're not in the pitcher and I'm in Texas at that game, I'm rooting for the Longhorns. Welcome.

[Monica Padman]

That's fine.

[Dax Shepard]

I'm just like, I don't know why it's a betrayal. It became a betrayal. Or it's potentially a betrayal.

[Monica Padman]

It makes no sense. It just doesn't make any sense to me. Like, if I'm with you at some anthropology conference, and it's like, UCLA anthropology versus Harvard anthropology, and I'm like, yeah, I'm here for Harvard. You'd be like, why? I mean, I'm like, I love Harvard. Harvard's amazing. It's great. I love the campus.

[Dax Shepard]

I guess my comp was if we go to the Formula one race and you're rooting for Lando Norris to pass Max. Max is my driver. I don't mind at all if you're rooting for. I don't. I don't need you to be rooting for the same person. I am.

[Monica Padman]

But it's not the same when none of us are friends with any of the F1 players.

[Dax Shepard]

Or I was.

[Monica Padman]

Well, we were. Exactly. We were friends with Danny. And so for me, by the way.

[Dax Shepard]

We fought over that. So this is consistent.

[Monica Padman]

Okay.

[Dax Shepard]

Because you in the past were like, how are you saying Max is your favorite driver when your friend is Dan Ricardo?

[Monica Padman]

Yeah, I think that.

[Dax Shepard]

And I said, I am friends with Daniel, and I love him, and I would help him move furniture. He's my friend. I. That doesn't mean I have to have him as my favorite driver. I'm not friends with him because he's my favorite driver. I'm friends with him because I like him.

[Monica Padman]

Yeah.

[Dax Shepard]

And my favorite driver is Max Verstappen. Like, I don't know how else to say it, and I don't. That's. That was fine with me.

[Monica Padman]

Well, of course it's fine with you. That's your. That's your opinion and your decision.

[Dax Shepard]

Yeah, I don't require people to like what I like to be friends with me. I don't recommend. Require. If a friend of mine's favorite podcast is Rogan over our show or Smart List. Yeah, that doesn't bother me at all.

[Monica Padman]

No, that doesn't bother me at all either.

[Dax Shepard]

So why would Ricardo demand that? I'm rooting. I'm going to root for someone that's going to win. And Ricardo wasn't in a position to win since we've been friends. He wasn't driving for Red Bull or.

[Monica Padman]

You're picking based on who's going to win, not based on anything else.

[Dax Shepard]

Well, I'm picking who I think is the best driver.

[Monica Padman]

I'm back to football. Okay, let's go back to football. So you. It's not like you grew up a Texas fan. If you did, of course. Of course I'd be like, yeah, he's a Texas fan. This is the way it goes. You're not.

[Dax Shepard]

Do you know what I would do, though?

[Monica Padman]

What?

[Dax Shepard]

Just to scramble your brain a little bit further. If we were watching Georgia play ucla, I would have rooted for Georgia. How much does that fuck you up? Because I will say, and I explained this to you when we were there, if I have a team, the only team I watch games of in the last couple years are U of M and Georgia. As you remember, I got very excited when Georgia won. It was very fun. I like rooting for them and I was rooting for Texas that night. But I like Georgia very much. I like Georgia more than I would want UCLA to win. Then if we threw U of M in there, that'd be very confusing. I'd probably want U of M to win over UC ucla, even though I didn't even go there.

[Monica Padman]

That I can get behind again. That makes more sense to me. You grew up in Michigan. Of course you want Michigan to win things. That makes sense.

[Dax Shepard]

Yeah.

[Monica Padman]

Texas does not make sense. I know that does.

[Dax Shepard]

Tameka's, Austin's my place for 21 years since I did idiocy there.

[Monica Padman]

And it was really fucking fun for me to be there and us really crush. Welcome to the SEC Texas, because you are in a little over your head.

[Dax Shepard]

Okay, okay.

[Monica Padman]

Great, great, great. I was proud of my boys, my Georgia boys. You know I went there, right?

[Dax Shepard]

Oh, yeah, I know. Yeah. Dogs.

[Monica Padman]

It's not sick em. It's not an arbitrary sick em. Oh. That's the first time I've ever heard you say, no, it's not. Yeah, it is.

[Dax Shepard]

I've said sick em a lot. I like to say these little catchphrases. Roll Tide, sick them. Hook them horns. But I think if we dare, we don't have time.

[Monica Padman]

What?

[Dax Shepard]

But the core if, like a therapist was sitting here.

[Monica Padman]

Uhhuh.

[Dax Shepard]

We both know what the core of this course.

[Monica Padman]

My fear is that you don't have Any loyalty.

[Dax Shepard]

That's right. You. You pick things I don't pick as a test of loyalty.

[Monica Padman]

I pick things you don't.

[Dax Shepard]

Well, there were two things on the trip.

[Monica Padman]

Uh huh.

[Dax Shepard]

That were kind of tests of loyalty.

[Monica Padman]

Okay. What was the other? Oh, like a serious thing.

[Dax Shepard]

Yeah. And so you and I have different baseline of what we expect from people who love us.

[Monica Padman]

What do you expect?

[Dax Shepard]

That you don't gossip behind my back.

[Monica Padman]

Mm. Even though you know you've gossiped about people behind their. We have gossiped about people we love behind their back. Me and you together. So I know it's true.

[Dax Shepard]

Well, okay. I mean, this is. This is. I think there's differences in this. And you have commended me in the past and I'm not someone who talks shit about all my.

[Monica Padman]

You're not.

[Dax Shepard]

You've like, commended me for that.

[Melissa McCarthy]

You.

[Monica Padman]

You don't talk shit. But me and you have talked about people.

[Dax Shepard]

I mean, but generally I think we've talked about people who have real. Like that are going through real problems.

[Monica Padman]

Yeah.

[Dax Shepard]

And I'm not getting off on the. Do you hear so. And so did that. No, I know the difference.

[Monica Padman]

I. I do too.

[Dax Shepard]

Yeah. So when you're excited to share information about somebody else, to raise your personal status because you have a secret that you've been entrusted with, that is one thing to me. So at any rate. But we. We have different. We have different criteria, and that's just how it is, unfortunately. Like, you and I have different criteria, and those are not going to ever match up. Like, I'm never going to say an enemy of yours is an enemy of mine. And I'm never going to love someone because you love them. I'll either love the person or hate person, but it won't be that. Our friendship will have nothing to do with that. And I'll either love or hate Georgia. Because I love or hate Georgia. I don't take on my friends. Lists of, you know, allies and enemies.

[Monica Padman]

Yeah. Which is fine with me. It's just when you have no skin in the game at all, I don't understand why you wouldn't just, like, for me, if I don't have a. Like, I'm not going to switch. Like, if I'm a Georgia fan and you're a huge Michigan, like this insane Michigan fan, I'm of course not gonna be like, I guess now I'm a Michigan fan because for Dax, and by.

[Dax Shepard]

The way, I don't want a friend like that.

[Monica Padman]

No, I know.

[Dax Shepard]

Yeah.

[Monica Padman]

But if I have no connection.

[Dax Shepard]

I know you're right now, you and I could debate that. You think I have no connection, and that's fine. I did not go to school there. But 21 years ago, I did a movie there and I fell in love there. And I go there more than any other place.

[Monica Padman]

Yes, I know.

[Dax Shepard]

I mean, just by a factor of 10. I've been to Austin over the last 21 years, 10 times more than any other place. Yeah, I love it there. I've walked the campus. I love it there. I want them to win. I love that town. I loved the stadium. I loved what was happening. You don't think I have any business loving them, but I do.

[Monica Padman]

Okay.

[Dax Shepard]

Cause I love Austin.

[Monica Padman]

I get it. I just can't relate.

[Dax Shepard]

Right?

[Monica Padman]

Because if I think, if. I really do believe, if it was reversed and we were in New York, New York is my favorite city. I fucking love it. If we're in New York and they were doing something against something you cared about.

[Dax Shepard]

Yeah.

[Monica Padman]

I would be rooting for who you wanted to win. Because I love New York. But I'm not. That's all I do is I love it. Like, I can't. I don't feel well.

[Dax Shepard]

And that's what's funny. You would show your love for me the way you want me to show my love for you. Well, don't.

[Monica Padman]

We all do?

[Dax Shepard]

But I don't want you to root for anything. I root for, like, that's what. That's the. That's the huge chasm between us. That's the thing that's hard for us to resolve because you would do that for me. And I don't want.

[Monica Padman]

It's not for you. Okay. It's just like, why wouldn't I pick the side of the person I care? Why wouldn't I do that when I have no. I have no reason not to do it? That's the thing. Like, it's not for you. It's not like, well, I'm doing a big thing for you right now.

[Dax Shepard]

If they were playing the Oklahoma's Sooners, I would have rooted for Georgia.

[Monica Padman]

Yeah.

[Dax Shepard]

Yeah. If it means nothing, of course.

[Monica Padman]

Right? Yeah, I get that. But I get that, okay.

[Dax Shepard]

I have a bunch of stuff. But the only thing I. That the top priority of mine is to talk about the English teacher.

[Monica Padman]

Oh, wow. Yeah. Fantastic. Fantastic.

[Dax Shepard]

That's number one priority, Right? In retrospect, I should have said it just at the top for a second as a teaser, but maybe I'll say it in the intro.

[Monica Padman]

Yeah.

[Dax Shepard]

We have watched the English Teacher on Hulu, and we fucking love It. It's so goddamn good.

[Monica Padman]

It is.

[Dax Shepard]

And it's more than just good.

[Monica Padman]

Yeah.

[Dax Shepard]

There's something important about it, too.

[Monica Padman]

Yeah.

[Dax Shepard]

And I'll tell you, it's like an evolution for me.

[Monica Padman]

Let's hear it.

[Dax Shepard]

Which is. And I can admit all this, you know, there was some period in the evolution of comedy, since I've been in it for 30 years, where people made fun of different groups. Those groups. Groups didn't have an equal microphone.

[Monica Padman]

Yeah.

[Dax Shepard]

And it was unfair. It was lopsided. If a white comedian's making jokes about Toyota Camry ownership in the Indian community, there's no one else there to punch back. Then Husson comes along and he makes tons of jokes about the Toyota Corolla or Camry. And as groups have become disenfranchised. So what I was worried about in that spell is there was some part of me that has a core belief that everyone should be made fun of. That it's, like, positive. It's. It's humanizing, it's fun. If the spirit's right. It's. It's. It is a good part of us. And comedy is this great tool to point out things in a very special way that only comedy can do. So the notion to me that no one was going to get made fun of anymore was a little concerning to me. Now, what has happened in this show to me is like, one of the proofs of this is that the solution was give all of these disenfranchised groups platforms and representation in shows and time on stage and all this, and they'll make fun of themselves or others.

[Monica Padman]

That.

[Dax Shepard]

And us and everyone, you know, whatever group. But Hussin's making fun of Indians in a great way. Think it still needs to happen. You know, this group's making fun of this group. But to have a gay show creator and lead actor.

[Monica Padman]

Yes.

[Dax Shepard]

Brian Jordan Alvarez, who's the lead of the show. And he is the creator.

[Monica Padman]

Yeah.

[Dax Shepard]

To let him handle that whole zone of gayness in a school as an openly gay teacher is just great. And the perspective's better.

[Monica Padman]

Definitely.

[Dax Shepard]

The perspective is so complete. So everything's happening at once. He's, like, making great points we should all think about. Then he's making fun of some things that are nuts.

[Monica Padman]

Totally.

[Dax Shepard]

But. And it's him doing it, so it feels great.

[Monica Padman]

Yeah. It feels safe.

[Dax Shepard]

Yeah. And I'm like, oh, right, here we go. This is kind of the thing I minimally hoped would happen over time, which is like, yeah, yeah, we should keep fucking poking at everyone, but it should Be the people in the group doing the Pokemon.

[Monica Padman]

Yeah. It's such a funny show.

[Dax Shepard]

It's so good. We had only known about it because they said our show on. And then I fucking narcissistically only went and watched that thing because people told me. Oh, it's like. Yeah, I watched the clip. Now that I've watched the whole show now I feel insanely flattered.

[Monica Padman]

Yes.

[Dax Shepard]

That he brought us up in this show. That is perfection.

[Monica Padman]

It's great.

[Dax Shepard]

It makes me happy.

[Monica Padman]

It's so flattering. Okay, I'm gonna do a few facts. Quickly, quickly. The big hit of Kiwi sketch. People should watch that. It's called Taste Test. It's on snl, but if you type that in, you can find it so funny. When did Dangerous liaisons come out? 1988. Ooh. And is the ones years old? Just ones years old. The snake pit is still there.

[Dax Shepard]

Oh, it is. Oh, great.

[Monica Padman]

What did Sydney Poitier. Poitier. He won the Academy Award for Lies of the Field.

[Melissa McCarthy]

Oh.

[Dax Shepard]

Never seen it.

[Monica Padman]

Yeah. Neither.

[Dax Shepard]

You should. Your middle name.

[Monica Padman]

It is one of the actors in their podcast, one of the voice actors in their podcast that we were discussing.

[Dax Shepard]

The Aussie.

[Monica Padman]

Yes. The New Zealand. Well, she's from New Zealand. She's a Kiwi. Speaking of Kiwi. Big hit of Kiwi. Her name's Anna Scottney. And she. They were saying that they saw her in a Taika movie. That movie is called the Breaker Uppers. Taika produced it.

[Ben Falcone]

Okay.

[Monica Padman]

The Breaker Uppers and Gloria Steinem, we are linked, not ranked. Love that. She brought that up. Melissa brought that up. And there's a store and there's bracelets. Oh, yeah. Let the cat out of the bag. I just wanted to look up the explanation for that phrase.

[Dax Shepard]

Yeah.

[Monica Padman]

In medieval markets, animals like piglets, chickens, and ducks were sold in sacks. Dishonest merchants would sometimes swap out a pig for a cat. Cat. When the customer looked away, the buyer wouldn't realize they'd been cheated until they got home and opened the bag, which is when they would have let the cat out of the bag.

[Dax Shepard]

Oh, wow. I know.

[Monica Padman]

I liked that. And that's it.

[Dax Shepard]

That's that.

[Monica Padman]

Yes.

[Dax Shepard]

Oh, wonderful. Last thing. I'm sorry.

[Monica Padman]

It's okay.

[Dax Shepard]

People have pointed out, and I think they're dead Right. If you recall in our Jeff Bridges interview, when it started out, he said, I think I just saw you playing in Addict in something.

[Monica Padman]

Oh.

[Dax Shepard]

And I was like, yeah, I don't think I've played an addict. Remember, there's a confusion.

[Monica Padman]

I do Remember that?

[Dax Shepard]

And people were very smart to point out Zach Braff played an addict in Bad Monkey, which was definitely airing at that moment. He a thousand percent thought, that is so funny. Isn't that great?

[Monica Padman]

Wow. That's still happening. I will say the recently he posted a picture of something of him like with some kid and I think the kid is like touching his face. So I can't. You couldn't see his face completely, but was scrolling on instagram and I 100% thought it was you.

[Dax Shepard]

You thought there was a little kid touching my face?

[Monica Padman]

Yes.

[Dax Shepard]

Yeah. Wow. Here we go. 20 years in and it's still happening.

[Monica Padman]

I know. It's great. It's great.

[Dax Shepard]

All right. I love you.

[Monica Padman]

Love.

[Dax Shepard]

Follow Armchair Expert on the Wondry app, Amazon Music, or wherever you get your podcasts. You can listen to every episode of Armchair Expert early and ad free right now by joining Wondry plus in the Wondry app or on Apple Podcasts. Before you go, tell us about yourself by completing a short [e-mail] survey hey.

[Ben Falcone]

Armchairies, quick question for you.

[Dax Shepard]

Have you ever stopped to wonder who.

[Ben Falcone]

Came up with that bottle of Srirach sitting in your fridge? Or why almost every house in America has a game of Monopoly stashed away somewhere? Well, this is Nick and this is Jack, and we just launched a brand new podcast called the Best Idea Yet. It's all about the surprising origin stories of the products you're obsessed with and the people who brought them to life. Like Super Mario, the best selling video game character ever. He's only a thing because Nintendo couldn't get the rights to Popeye or Jack. How about McDonald's Happy Meal? Believe it or not, the Happy Meal was dreamed up by a moment in Guatemala. Every week on the Best Idea yet.

[Dax Shepard]

You'Ll discover the surprising stories behind the.

[Ben Falcone]

Most viral products of all time while picking up real business insights along the way. We guarantee you'll be that person at your next dinner party, dropping knowledge bombs at the table. Follow the Best Idea yet on the Wondery app or wherever you get your podcasts. You can listen to the Best Idea yet early and ad free right now by joining Wonderyplus.