Mindy Kaling

Summary

Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard: Mindy Kaling Episode Summary

Release Date: March 3, 2025
Guest: Mindy Kaling
Host: Dax Shepard
Featuring: Monica Padman

---

1. Introduction and Warm Welcome

The episode kicks off with a warm welcome from Dax Shepard and Monica Padman as they introduce Mindy Kaling, highlighting her multifaceted career as an award-winning actor, screenwriter, and producer. Dax expresses genuine enthusiasm for having Mindy on the show, emphasizing her significant contributions to projects like The Mindy Project, The Office, Never Have I Ever, Sex Lives of College Girls, and her latest Netflix series, Running Point.

Notable Quote:
Dax Shepard [01:49]: "Mindy Kaling. We're so excited. She is here today."

---

2. Career Insights and Evolution

Mindy delves into her journey in the entertainment industry, starting from her days writing for and acting in The Office. She reflects on the challenges of being a South Asian woman in a predominantly white writers' room and how those experiences shaped her perspective on diversity and representation.

Notable Quote:
Mindy Kaling [07:09]: "I think I might have told you this or told it to your people. I had only done one podcast, and it went so badly that I was like, I think it's not for me."

Dax shares his experiences with guests he initially disliked but later grew to appreciate, drawing parallels to Mindy's transformative influence on listeners and aspiring artists.

---

3. Diversity, Representation, and Cultural Identity

A significant portion of the conversation centers around diversity in the entertainment industry. Mindy candidly discusses the criticism she faced regarding the lack of diversity on The Mindy Project and how it motivated her to create more inclusive content in her subsequent projects.

Notable Quote:
Mindy Kaling [20:11]: "It's fraudulent and insincere. We've all seen those shows where we're like, hey, audiences are smart."

Monica adds her perspective as one of the few South Asian women in her field, highlighting the importance of representation and the impact it has on younger generations aspiring to enter the arts.

Notable Quote:
Monica Padman [12:55]: "It's funny because I grew up in Georgia...feels good that you've made it bigger."

---

4. Personal Stories: Upbringing and Family Dynamics

Mindy shares heartfelt anecdotes about her traditional Indian upbringing, her parents' journey from India to the United States, and how their support was instrumental in her pursuit of a career in the arts. She touches upon the cultural nuances within her family, such as differing regional traditions and the limited use of Indian languages at home, which influenced her comedic voice and storytelling.

Notable Quote:
Mindy Kaling [17:24]: "An architect and an OB GYN. And so they met, and it was one of those things where I think literally their African friends were like, we know two Indian people. You should be together."

Dax opens up about his own family dynamics, discussing the loss of his parents and the complex emotions tied to their passing, drawing a parallel to Mindy's experience with her mother.

---

5. Balancing Parenthood and Career

The discussion shifts to the challenges of balancing a demanding career with motherhood. Both Mindy and Dax share their strategies for managing their professional responsibilities while nurturing their families. Mindy emphasizes the importance of instilling cultural values in her children and maintaining autonomy, while Dax talks about the joys and struggles of parenting.

Notable Quote:
Mindy Kaling [78:36]: "I have three children, which is a lot for an underwater."

Dax Shepard [78:57]: "We have two kids. They can't replace friendships."

---

6. Overcoming Personal Challenges and Growth

Mindy reflects on her personal growth, especially concerning her social anxieties and the impact of her career on her self-perception. She discusses how engaging with Armchair Expert and its candid conversations inspired her to embrace vulnerability and authenticity in her work.

Notable Quote:
Mindy Kaling [26:09]: "I'm often really inspired by younger people and kind of shamed by that."

Monica opens up about her own experiences with self-image and cultural expectations, highlighting the importance of community support in overcoming these challenges.

---

7. Anecdotes and Lighthearted Moments

Throughout the episode, the trio shares humorous stories and lighthearted banter. Notable moments include:

• Dax's First Romantic Experiences: Dax recounts his awkward teenage attempts at romance, providing a relatable and comedic glimpse into his past.
  Mindy Kaling [37:24]: "I hope it was [age 13]. I hope it was a solid teenager."

• Mindy's Encounter with Bradley Cooper: An amusing exchange where Mindy compliments Dax and playful interactions ensue.
  Mindy Kaling [08:00]: "I love you guys."

• Anecdote about Breaking a Nose: Mindy shares a behind-the-scenes mishap from her early acting days, showcasing the unpredictability of live performances.
  Mindy Kaling [47:05]: "I broke her nose on stage when the New York Times was."

---

8. Reflections on Success and Future Endeavors

As the episode draws to a close, Mindy discusses her evolving understanding of success, emphasizing the importance of creating her own opportunities rather than relying on traditional cliques or networks. She expresses optimism about the increased diversity in the industry and her commitment to fostering inclusive storytelling.

Notable Quote:
Mindy Kaling [63:26]: "There is zero question that this [house] you have here is more valuable than mine."

Dax and Monica echo her sentiments, celebrating her achievements and expressing excitement for her upcoming projects like Running Point.

---

Conclusion

This episode of Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard offers an intimate and comprehensive look into Mindy Kaling's life and career. From her pioneering efforts in enhancing diversity in Hollywood to her personal struggles and triumphs, Mindy's candidness provides invaluable insights into the complexities of being a successful woman of color in the entertainment industry. The heartfelt exchanges between Mindy, Dax, and Monica create an engaging narrative that not only entertains but also inspires listeners to embrace their authentic selves and strive for meaningful growth.

Final Notable Quote:
Mindy Kaling [89:03]: "I have a friend, Parisa, who said this to me. She was like, oh, yeah, we gotta get dinner next month. And I'm always like, I'm tired. I don't want to do whatever."

---

Stay Connected:
Follow Armchair Expert on the Wondery App, Apple Podcasts, Spotify, or wherever you get your podcasts. Join Wondery+ for early and ad-free access.

---

Transcript

[Dax Shepard]

Wondry plus subscribers can listen to Armchair Expert early and ad free right now. Join Wondry plus in the Wondry app or on Apple Podcasts or you can listen for free wherever you get your podcasts. Welcome, welcome, welcome to Armchair Expert. I'm Dan Rather and I'm joined by Lily Padman. Now this people were curious what I wore a suit for.

[Monica Padman]

Oh, I also posted a picture and said this is the face of someone trying to play it cool. So a lot of people had their guesses.

[Dax Shepard]

Uh huh. It was for Mindy Kaling.

[Monica Padman]

Big deal.

[Dax Shepard]

I want to say Mindy Kaling's Kaling it. But it doesn't really work. But I want to say it. Okay, she's Kaling it. Still doesn't work. Maybe a third time. Mindy Kaling's Kaling it.

[Monica Padman]

Wow.

[Dax Shepard]

Check her out. This fall on NBC. No, but what a delight.

[Monica Padman]

We've been bagging since day one.

[Dax Shepard]

Day one. Put it in the atmosphere, the universe. And boy, if you're patient, sometimes dreams can come true.

[Monica Padman]

They can indeed. You gotta wait. You gotta wait. That's the key. But they do.

[Dax Shepard]

What a joy. And how sweet. We were like, do you hear how much we want you on? And she's like, yeah, I thought it was a bit. She says we're all, what's wrong with all of us? She's a queen.

[Monica Padman]

She's a queen. She's a queen. She just got a star. She did Hollywood Walk of Fame. I saw some pictures. Gorgeous.

[Dax Shepard]

Okay. Mindy Kaling. We're so excited. She is here today. Award winning actor, screenwriter and producer the Mindy Project. The Office. Never have I ever sex lives of college girls Inside out in her new series out on Netflix now running point. What a delight.

[Monica Padman]

So special.

[Dax Shepard]

Yeah, I really like her. Please enjoy. Mindy Kaling.

[Monica Padman]

Kaling it.

[Dax Shepard]

Who's Kaling it? This fall on NB's Really Great Station we are supported by the all new Galaxy S25 Ultra from Samsung. This phone is a true AI companion that evolves with you to do more for you. Like handling multiple tasks with just one ask. For example, you can tell it to find a restaurant nearby and text it to my friends or look up my favorite basketball team schedule and add it to my calendar. And it does it just like that. You just speak the request naturally and the new Galaxy S25 Ultra takes care of the rest. Okay, this is what AI AI was meant for. That is seamless plus now brief with Galaxy AI gives you personalized daily briefings that keep you a step ahead. It'll show you your appointments, the weather, your energy score and more all in one place ready to let AI do more for you so you can do you then get your Galaxy S25 Ultra now at samsung.com compatible with select apps. Requires Google Gemini account. Results may vary based on input. Check responses for accuracy. Now brief with Galaxy AI displays daily select information from select apps may require Internet connection. Galaxy AI features by Samsung free through 2025 and require Samsung account login. This message is brought to you by Apple Card. Apple Card is everything a credit card should be. It's easy to manage, built to be secure, and gives users up to 3% daily cash back on every purchase. The best part about Apple Card is applying is quick and easy. Apply in the Wallet app on iPhone and see your credit limit offer in minutes. Subject to credit approval. Apple Card by Goldman Sachs Bank USA Salt Lake City Branch Member FDIC terms and [e-mail] he's an Upchurch hello.

[Monica Padman]

So nice to see you.

[Mindy Kaling]

Nice to see you. How's it going?

[Monica Padman]

Oh, my God.

[Mindy Kaling]

Hi.

[Dax Shepard]

Nice to meet you. Welcome, handsome.

[Mindy Kaling]

And put together.

[Monica Padman]

You're number two for that.

[Dax Shepard]

No, I'm the second person I've ever worn a suit for.

[Mindy Kaling]

It's a good one.

[Monica Padman]

You deserve it.

[Dax Shepard]

Well, it's a tux, I think.

[Mindy Kaling]

Are you going somewhere?

[Dax Shepard]

No, no.

[Monica Padman]

It's literally for you.

[Mindy Kaling]

I'm feeling vulnerable and being like, no, no, that's a bit. He's not going to have to go somewhere afterwards. No, no, no, no. You look amazing.

[Dax Shepard]

I think you very much deserve to be dressed up for. And I don't like dressing up. So it's a gesture to tell you how grateful I am.

[Mindy Kaling]

I'm really.

[Dax Shepard]

I couldn't go all the way. I apologize. I couldn't do the dress shoes. That would be too distracting.

[Mindy Kaling]

It's a little Southern California in it.

[Dax Shepard]

You never lived on the west side, did you?

[Mindy Kaling]

No.

[Dax Shepard]

There was a pizzeria Italian joint out there called Earth Wind and Flower and the owner had a ponytail and he was in every commercial and he would go classic Italian food with that California flair and he would pull his ponytail around.

[Mindy Kaling]

He's like, this is synonymous with that SoCal vibe. That's how I feel about your Vans. I feel like I do not scream west side at all.

[Dax Shepard]

I don't think so early on you may have found yourself living there. Cause I lived there the first 10 years I lived here before I realized that's a terrible place to live. Is it?

[Monica Padman]

Well, it's like a rookie mistake when you first move Here you're like, I gotta be by the beach. So you move there, and then it takes you four hours to get anywhere. I lived on the west side at first.

[Mindy Kaling]

You did? Where'd you live?

[Monica Padman]

Barrington and Santa Monica. You know, that really cool, hip part of town that's in the middle of nothing.

[Dax Shepard]

Yes, yes.

[Mindy Kaling]

Monica. I mean, this. Seriously. Can you be Indian and live on the west side? Effectively.

[Dax Shepard]

Oh, my God.

[Monica Padman]

I love this question. Right afterwards. Let's get into it. It's very white. White white, as we would say. It's funny because I grew up in Georgia.

[Mindy Kaling]

Okay. So you might be used to.

[Monica Padman]

I am used to feeling like I'm the only person who's brown, but it almost gives me, like. I mean, we're gonna definitely get so into this type of conversation. I get a sort of high out of being one of the white people.

[Mindy Kaling]

Do you feel more special?

[Monica Padman]

A little bit.

[Mindy Kaling]

Well, I just wonder. Practically. I, like, need to eat Indian food and ethnic food a lot. So this area, Hancock park, that works for me.

[Dax Shepard]

There's so many overlaps, but this will be a difference.

[Monica Padman]

Well, first we. I mean, you are my number one. Get on this show. I'm serious.

[Mindy Kaling]

So can I say that about 10 years ago, I had heard from some of my friends, they were like, you know, you're sometimes mentioned on Armchair, and I love the show, and you should go on. I always think whenever anyone references me, even when they're like, I love Mindy, that I'm like, they're just saying that. But what they really mean is they hate me. This is like a mental illness.

[Dax Shepard]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Mindy Kaling]

And forget about being mentioned on some sketch show or the Simpsons or anything like that.

[Dax Shepard]

Yes.

[Mindy Kaling]

And now I live in terror for that. But I on some level thought, and this is going to sound crazy, that it would be like, oh, they think it'd be campy if they had a circus dwarf on. Wouldn't that be goofy and it's stupid and it's not real sad?

[Dax Shepard]

Well, it's comforting, and I'm happy you said that because, yes, I will not read a single thing unless my mother, she knows me enough. Once every three years, something is written so perfectly that I can't find something in the subtext I'm certain is a burn about me.

[Mindy Kaling]

Yes.

[Monica Padman]

Yes.

[Dax Shepard]

Scary, terrible.

[Mindy Kaling]

I think I might have told you this or told it to your people. I had only done one podcast, and it went so badly that I was like, I think it's not for me.

[Monica Padman]

Yeah, I've heard she doesn't do Podcasts.

[Dax Shepard]

We've made a lot of just straight to you pledges on air going, Mindy, I promise you, you don't suck at it. I know you're great at it, and you just need to come in and do it.

[Mindy Kaling]

Thank you. And I'm so excited to be here. And also, I feel really honored to be here. I love the show, and I know this may make you feel uncomfortable to hear this, since I'm just facing you, telling compliments.

[Dax Shepard]

Yeah, it will, and I want it.

[Mindy Kaling]

Okay, well, then good, because this is, I think, a good one. You make everyone sound like the best version of themselves, and they're people that. Not that I didn't care about them, but I didn't know them or think about them. And then I now love them and am a fan.

[Dax Shepard]

I'll go a step further. We have had multiple guests on I was certain I hated, forget even ambivalent about. I'm like, I don't like that guy. He's been a dick to me every time I've seen him. Or I don't like this person for X, Y, and Z. And I, too, am just as shocked. And I think it's weirdly comforting and makes me optimistic that even someone I'm convinced I don't like, if I sit down with them for two hours and I hear about them and where they're from, inevitably, I always like them.

[Mindy Kaling]

So who haven't you liked?

[Dax Shepard]

In 850 guests, we've had, like, three people I didn't like, and they weren't celebrities. They were experts that we just couldn't do it. Or maybe so smart and esoteric or something. I don't know.

[Monica Padman]

Because we just talk about real stuff so the headlines become mute. And then you just get to know a real person, and you're always gonna find something you like about a person. I think there's some exceptions.

[Dax Shepard]

We're gonna come back, you know, make you uncomfortable, and I'm gonna give Monica some time to prepare because she wouldn't even come in just now. She was hiding in the house.

[Monica Padman]

I said, play cool.

[Dax Shepard]

I know, but that's part of what's cool about you.

[Mindy Kaling]

I'm already loving where this is happening.

[Dax Shepard]

I just think you're hyper talented. I used to go to the set of Mindy to say hi to Mike Weaver. So for people who don't know, Mike Weaver was the DP on Parenthood the first two years, and then he went to your show as a director.

[Mindy Kaling]

The great Michael Weaver.

[Dax Shepard]

The greatest and the most gorgeous, studly man.

[Mindy Kaling]

And the most beloved by cast and crew. He's our producing director for this new show, Running Point.

[Dax Shepard]

I saw him in the credits and I got excited.

[Mindy Kaling]

Beloved.

[Dax Shepard]

But I'd go say hi to him, and I would hope to God you would come out of the soundstage at some point so I can meet you. I just genuinely have been wanting to meet you for over 10 years. I'm a huge fan.

[Monica Padman]

Can you take any of this in or no?

[Mindy Kaling]

No, I can. And, Monica, I don't know if this goes to what we're saying before. I don't hear this a lot from straight white men. That they're huge fans. And not that it should mean more than when an Indian teenage girl says it, but it's just so much more unusual. So thank you.

[Dax Shepard]

So, yeah, I think you're hyper talented. I love your acting. I think you're a fucking babe. I think you're hot. Everything about me. Yeah. Yeah.

[Mindy Kaling]

When you've only mostly been valued from. People are like, she's so smart and so funny. I'm embarrassed how much that is affecting me.

[Monica Padman]

I can relate. It's the best compliment to get. I ha. Hate to say it.

[Mindy Kaling]

Am I in love with you? Am I gonna try to kiss you?

[Dax Shepard]

Oh, let's see.

[Mindy Kaling]

Kristen. I consider it friendly. She would allow it.

[Dax Shepard]

She would totally allow it. I always say, if you're gonna say about me, either I was a genius or the funniest person alive or hot. I'm picking hot across the board.

[Mindy Kaling]

Hot across the board.

[Dax Shepard]

Yes. I didn't have it exactly.

[Mindy Kaling]

It's the most LA thing about. I mean, as somebody who was straight up unattractive in high school and then has lost and gained the same 50 pounds over the course of my life, that kind of compliment feels so distant. I'm sorry, Kristen Bell. I'm excited.

[Monica Padman]

We don't know how this is ending. We do not know how this is ending.

[Mindy Kaling]

Also, you probably can't do this for security reasons, but I'm 45 now, so when I pulled in, I have a thing now. I don't know if you have this, where I'm like, oh, Dax has a shit together. I've never seen your home.

[Dax Shepard]

Oh, right, right.

[Mindy Kaling]

I've never seen the layout. I'm a big yard person because I'm from the east coast, but it's again, close to my ethnic food. This feels like there's a place where you can work separate from where you live. And I don't want to.

[Dax Shepard]

Everyone already knows where I live. It's fine. We got to give Credit Kristen a lot. Yeah, we're over her.

[Monica Padman]

She's Mindy's enemy now.

[Dax Shepard]

She had her 18 years.

[Mindy Kaling]

It's time she has my man. She's done.

[Dax Shepard]

But, yes, the yard for me, too. I'm from Michigan, and the definition of having made it was you would have a big yard. You could run around it.

[Mindy Kaling]

And that's not a very common LA thing. People get rid of the yards to put in pools.

[Dax Shepard]

Yes. Okay. Moni, do you want to share? Do you want to go later?

[Monica Padman]

I don't know. You go.

[Mindy Kaling]

Can I talk about Monica for a second? So you're younger than me, but there's not a lot of Indian women now. There's a lot more.

[Monica Padman]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Dax Shepard]

Too many. Some would argue, let's be honest, 10.

[Mindy Kaling]

Or 12 years ago. Is that when you guys started this?

[Dax Shepard]

Only seven. But I like that you've made it bigger, because that feels good.

[Mindy Kaling]

I remember hearing about you because you were becoming well known because of it. And I remember thinking, not that I'm keeping tabs on the other South Asians, but it was like, oh, there's another person who's out there in the group. In the group. And then having listened to you, oh, my God. I'm kind of a repressed person, and I have four friends. And there was just an openness about you that, honestly, I don't know. This is offensive to South Asian people listening. Oh, she was, I think, South Asian and raised by a family that seems pretty traditional in some ways. But she's not talking like somebody.

[Monica Padman]

Right.

[Mindy Kaling]

That's one of the reasons why I didn't do podcasts is I am repressed. I am from the East Coast. Pretty traditional upbringing. Don't er stuff. But you never say anything that would bring shame to your family.

[Dax Shepard]

Oh, she does.

[Mindy Kaling]

At least not in the ones that I have heard.

[Monica Padman]

I definitely do. I feel lucky that my parents, they're actually not that traditional. They're both from India. My dad came when he was in his 20s, but his personality, just very specifically, is not traditional. He's like, I don't know.

[Dax Shepard]

He's from Carola. That helps right away.

[Monica Padman]

Yeah, they're both from Carola, and my mom came when she was 6. She grew up in Savannah.

[Mindy Kaling]

Coming over when you're 6 is major.

[Monica Padman]

Much different. But my grandparents, very traditional. And I got kind of lucky in the personality department because my dad was just like, just do whatever. He's just relieved that I'm out here, I'm doing well, and I have money. Just being candid. He's Just like, oh, my God, she has enough money to live and she doesn't need us anymore for that. So they don't care. And I think he kind of gets a kick out of it. There's people at his office that are like, oh, I heard Monica say this about you. We also talk about them.

[Dax Shepard]

We talk about a show probably more than anybody else.

[Monica Padman]

Yes. And we say he invented the simulation, so all of us are a member of his sim. But we say, gross. Bad, bad, bad stuff. I just talked to one of my friends from home, and her mom was like, monica, I've been listening to you and I'm gonna have to talk to your mom. Well, okay. Then I got really self conscious. I was like, oh, yeah, my friend's moms. That's who I'm bringing shame to for the most part.

[Mindy Kaling]

But I have to say that is a really rare gift that you were given. And I feel that way about my parents because they're in some ways very traditional. But I got went into this path that they completely love and supported. Even though I think it worried them, they were able to sublimate their own fears to support me. And I know it wasn't easy for them, but it is a gift. Cause I don't think that many people who parents have immigrated here given the challenges and to have their kids go into the arts. And not just the arts, the arts where you're talking about your feelings and your truth.

[Monica Padman]

Well, in art, that didn't exist 11 years ago, maybe they're like, what is this thing you're doing? But also, I get not to throw so many compliments at you.

[Mindy Kaling]

Please do. I love it.

[Monica Padman]

You're someone I could point to, like, well, I'm going out there to do this thing. There's other people. There's Mindy, there's Aziz. I think that's it. But I could maybe be in that category. And you're like a North Star, for sure.

[Mindy Kaling]

That's really nice. Thank you.

[Dax Shepard]

This can often happen to the best of us. If you hear someone being completely candid and you have told yourself that you're not allowed. Allowed to be, and somehow this person's doing it and getting away with it, sometimes it can lead to some resentment. It kind of shatters your story a little bit. We went and saw Huss and stand up, and Monica had kind of a breakthrough. She's like, I've been hiding my Indianness my whole life, thinking I could only succeed if I assimilated. And here this person just showed me, no, I could have embraced it the whole time and done the same thing. And she lovely enough and is confident enough, could be happy about that, but could have also fucked her up a little bit.

[Mindy Kaling]

Yeah. About the candor thing, I mean, I think that's what's intoxicating about listening to this podcast is how candid people are. I don't know if you guys have heard this before, but it unlocks the listener when you're talking to Bradley Cooper, and you guys have such a history and so much in common and are so open about sobriety and the mistakes you guys have made and what you've learned from them, it makes me, even as I'm listening to it, being like, God, I wish there was someone in the car with me right now so I could be open with them too, but. So you saw Hasan?

[Monica Padman]

Yes, we saw him live. I thought it was incredible. But also, the whole audience was like, 90% brown people. And this is my baggage. I walked in and I was like, oh, my God, there's so many Indian people here. It's just old history. It's the hurdle I have to jump before I'm like, it's fine. But it was just weird to sit there and be like, the reception's amazing. I could have leaned in, but I took a big pivot the other way.

[Mindy Kaling]

So I was not raised around a lot of other Indian people. I was born and raised in suburban Boston.

[Dax Shepard]

Yeah. What's Cambridge like? Is it a lot of professors?

[Mindy Kaling]

It's professors and children. Professors. And then my parents are from two different parts of India, so my dad is from South India. My mom, she's Bengali, and she's from Calcutta, but they met in Africa, and they were the only two Indian people. My dad speaks Tamil, and my mom spoke Bengali and Hindi. The only language they had in common was English.

[Dax Shepard]

What were they doing in Africa?

[Mindy Kaling]

My mom was a doctor at a hospital that my dad was helping build in Lagos, Nigeria.

[Monica Padman]

That's a meet cute.

[Mindy Kaling]

It's a meet cute. An architect and an OB gyn. And so they met, and it was one of those things where I think literally their African friends were like, we know two Indian people. You should be together. And they were right. But it's sort of a nuance that I think only Indian people get, which is that culturally it's so different in the 70s to be Bengali and be Tamil. And my dad was for more of a traditional Hindu family. My mom was also Hindu. But the way they celebrate it is so different regionally. My dad doesn't celebrate Diwali, and my mom Does. And my mom doesn't know about some of my dad's holidays. But the only reason I'm bringing it up up is not to give, like, a long, boring history about how my family met, but when they met each other, the culture that they had in common was like, okay, we speak English and we're moving to the United States.

[Dax Shepard]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's really interesting.

[Mindy Kaling]

And so I wasn't raised speaking any Indian languages, which I think is huge, crucial, actually, to the way you're brought up. And I now have adult Indian friends or ones that I made in college, where they were raised kind of within their community. You'll hear people that they're raised in a super Indian neighborhood in New Jersey or in Michigan, and there'll be these little pockets, Artesia, parts of Chicago. But we weren't that. So all of our friends were sort of my mom and dad's white co workers and their children. So my dad sort of made a decision that he's like, I'm in America. I'm going to love the Red Sox. I'm going to love the Celtics. I'm going to get into sports. And that culturally, we're diving in. We're still Hindu. We still do holidays. We still were raised eating Indian food. But culturally, I didn't have this community around me of like, auntie culture and all that.

[Monica Padman]

Yeah, I know that.

[Dax Shepard]

That's the hussin. Half the jokes are about the aunties.

[Mindy Kaling]

And aunties auntie culture. And I relate to it, but I don't know it. Yes, I actually have my literal aunts, but I don't have that extended family. So when I started doing comedy, I didn't have this rich background of observations about Indian culture and other friends to banter with about it.

[Dax Shepard]

The Toyota Camry joke.

[Monica Padman]

Right.

[Dax Shepard]

Which is so good.

[Mindy Kaling]

Is that a hug?

[Dax Shepard]

Yeah. Yeah. It's like the official car of Indiana.

[Mindy Kaling]

Yeah. And like, I hear that and I think it's funny. And I. I had one. I didn't really have that. And so when I would think what I want to write about, the Indian identity didn't bubble up to the surface. And then my first thing that I did was this play called Matt and Ben, where I played Ben Affleck. Right. And then I got hired in the office. And it was also 2001-2004. Hollywood is not clamoring for shows and TV and books about your identity. That was, let's be honest, a 2018 thing.

[Monica Padman]

100%.

[Dax Shepard]

We needed streaming and niche audiences, which turned out to not be Niche audiences.

[Mindy Kaling]

That's so well put. They would take a risk on shows like Never have I Ever. Ye.

[Dax Shepard]

Then it gets 40 million households viewing it.

[Mindy Kaling]

Thank you for knowing that.

[Dax Shepard]

It's not a niche at all. In fact, it's one of our biggest shows.

[Monica Padman]

Exactly.

[Mindy Kaling]

You know, I feel even now very sensitive about it.

[Dax Shepard]

By the way, I hadn't heard this. I just read enough articles about you today that those people had heard about it. One article was talking about that you've had a lot of criticism for not having more diversity on your cast. And I was just getting defensive of you. And I was thinking, all writers have the obligation to write their experience. And your experience was being surrounded by white people. So to have created like 227 in the Indian commute, that would have been fraudulent.

[Mindy Kaling]

Yes and no. I of course have the defense mechanism, which was like, I was doing the best with what I had. It came from the officers, number 11 on the call sheet. No one was like, she'll be the one that has her own show. I just had to be like, I think I will be, even though I'm getting no feedback that corroborates that ambition. And then when I did my own show 2011 or 2012, I was like, okay, I got to do things exactly like I was in the office, because that was like a big hit. But, you know, they say the criticism that hurts the deepest is the ones that you're like, ah, it's kind of true. When I look back in the Mindy project, I do wish that I had paid more attention to that. Every Wednesday morning we got the ratings from the night before and I was consumed with fear. I wasn't thinking in those terms.

[Dax Shepard]

You were hoping you could keep yourself at the party. You hadn't yet thought you could bring other people.

[Mindy Kaling]

No. And honestly, I was a dark skinned Indian woman that weighed 150 pounds. That was the lead of a show.

[Monica Padman]

Exactly.

[Mindy Kaling]

And so I was like, man, this looks pretty damn diverse in my opinion. I hope this is palatable enough. I hope it's not defensive and I hope it's just putting you guys in my mindset at the time. But I think after that I had opportunities. I was like 37 when that show ended. Never have I ever came on the heels of that show. And I could not be more proud of the diversity in that and inclusivity. But that criticism is one. Even to this day, I look at the different projects I do and I'm like, how can it look modern? How can I not be kicking myself later while also Being true. You know, we've also seen the shows where you're like, this is the most cynical diversity I've ever seen.

[Monica Padman]

Exactly.

[Mindy Kaling]

It's fraudulent and insincere. We've all seen those shows where we're like, hey, audiences are smart. But the thing I've learned now is if you do spend a little extra time, you do get the right casting director. You can have these really great dynamics, like Maitre Ramakrishnan and her two friends on the show. One's East Asian, one's black, and they're the most adorable threesome of friends.

[Monica Padman]

But you did open casting for that. Our friend Anna, who works with Kristen, she brings it up all the time. We need to do open casting. Like Mindy, she's the only one. So I really push back on diversity thing because you're the only one putting out a real huge net and saying, hey, we're doing this. It's not just the people in this city who's out there.

[Mindy Kaling]

What's tough about finding young Indian women is culturally, we're not pushing our young girls to like, go into this field. Things have changed a lot. I'm a producer on this new Zarna Garg show. Do you know Zarna?

[Monica Padman]

No.

[Mindy Kaling]

She's a standup. She's Indian and she's based in New York and she kind of came up during the pandemic. Three children, teenagers. She's so funny. You guys would love her. She does a lot of stuff with her family and we're shooting a pilot for her at cbs. And when we look at the casting for that for her kids and her husband, it's remarkable how different the pool is, how many more people there are.

[Dax Shepard]

Now, as opposed to 2012, even in.

[Mindy Kaling]

2019, when we never. Have I ever.

[Dax Shepard]

Yeah, but guys, it's exponential growth. Because it's not just that the parents aren't pushing their kids, it's that the kids didn't see anyone that they found their place in. Like I always say, I needed Nick Cage. Is he good looking looking or not? I'm not sure. He's tall. That seems like enough. He's the lead. Maybe I could do this. You just need somebody to make it seem real or plausible.

[Mindy Kaling]

It's such a valuable tool in your home for Thanksgiving when you're sitting with your parents when you're a sophomore in college and just being like, okay. I can point to these examples particularly I think, with Indian parents where they kind of need the data.

[Dax Shepard]

Sure, sure, sure. Yeah.

[Mindy Kaling]

They're like, do you have any successful.

[Dax Shepard]

Data points There's a justified and baseline fear that's a little higher in these Indian family.

[Monica Padman]

Well, when you change up your whole life to start a new one for your children, stakes are really high. You want them to be safe. And then they're like, I'm gonna go to LA and we'll see what happens.

[Dax Shepard]

There's also a reality to who came. Your dad was an architect, your mother was an obg, your father was an engineer. Professionals coming here and now the sky's really the limit.

[Mindy Kaling]

I just saw a complete unknown and we didn't have those types come in the 50s and 60s, the Bob Dylan, the sort of boho Indian artists and stuff. That Indian Bob Dylan weren't getting the visas.

[Monica Padman]

That's what people forget. It's not that they're not coming here, it's they can't come here. You come here because you're providing a service.

[Mindy Kaling]

You had to show 25 pages of paperwork that says that you deserve to be here, contribute.

[Dax Shepard]

Cuz Monica and I did meet the Indian Bob Dylan. He was a chiwala in front of the hotel. Now that had more pizzazz than anyone I've ever seen. But yeah, that guy's not getting invited.

[Monica Padman]

Yeah, February of last year, I guess it was a year ago. There's Bob Dylan's there for sure.

[Dax Shepard]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Monica Padman]

They just aren't here.

[Dax Shepard]

That guy was incredible.

[Monica Padman]

He was. Oh. One thing to add, maybe to take some guilt off and also just to tell people that's earned being able to reach back out and help other people or think about diversity that's earned over time. You don't really get to do that right off the gate. As you said. You're kind of like, I gotta prove myself for me first in order to get to that next step.

[Mindy Kaling]

I obviously, for selfish reasons, like to believe that. But you know, I'm often amazed now when I see younger people how much more activist energy there is to young artists. I was literally like, I need to stay in the wga. I need my health insurance, I have to pay my rent, I have to keep this job.

[Monica Padman]

These are truths.

[Mindy Kaling]

And it wasn't until 34 when I started thinking, okay, I have safety here. I can now be thinking about anything other than my own own self preservation. I feel like when Issa Rae was doing Insecure, I'm paraphrasing this, you'd be like, what drives you? And she's like, I want to make opportunities for other young black artists. And I'm literally like, oh damn, you can be both. That's why I'm often really inspired by younger people and kind of shamed by that.

[Dax Shepard]

Well, but have you heard the Malcolm Gladwell episode Token?

[Mindy Kaling]

No.

[Dax Shepard]

It's worth listening to. I feel like it could relieve you of some stuff. It's all about Sammy Davis Jr. And what he went through, what he had to put up with. It's heartbreaking in so many ways, and there's just a lot of good data about it as well. I was more making the artistic point, which is you had just spent eight years surrounded by white dudes in a writer's room on a cast that was largely white. Certainly your current experience was that when I'm thinking about what I know inside and out, at that point, it would be to be the lone brown person in a room. That's what I would know best.

[Mindy Kaling]

The thing that makes me feel guilty to admit is sometimes that's like a really nice feeling.

[Dax Shepard]

Sure.

[Monica Padman]

That's what we were saying, sitting on the west side. Being accepted by the group that you're always trying to get accepted by as a young person, to reach that. Even though, yes, it's fucked up, but it is real.

[Mindy Kaling]

I had had some positive experiences. Like, I went to Dartmouth College, which is in New Hampshire, and pretty white, because I felt exceptional. I don't know. This is just like a defect in my brain because I was the only one there. It made me feel special, which gave me confidence. It was a college that's not known for its performing arts. And so. So I would be doing these shows and everyone would come. Cause it wasn't NYU or Columbia or usc, Northwestern, where there's actually shit going on.

[Dax Shepard]

Right.

[Mindy Kaling]

And it made me feel so confident. I started getting those accolades that made me feel like I could tell my parents, hey, I won the playwriting competition. Hey, my play got selected to do this. And all this stuff at Dartmouth that they were like, oh, she seems successful in this. It's worrying us less.

[Dax Shepard]

Right.

[Mindy Kaling]

Then what I learned in the writer's room at the office. I think that kind of training, that intense eight years so of my shows after it, where the cast members look completely different, the storylines are different, I took so much of that. And I think that's why those shows are successful.

[Dax Shepard]

Because you had the architecture of this.

[Mindy Kaling]

The DNA from how you make that successful show, and then just take it and put it into these different casts. And I really just owe that to Greg Daniels.

[Dax Shepard]

Yeah. What was Buckingham Brown? You went to a school from K till 12.

[Mindy Kaling]

Buckingham, Brown and Nichols. I went there from seventh grade to senior year.

[Dax Shepard]

Okay. What was the vibe of that place. It sounds fancy.

[Mindy Kaling]

Yeah. Buckingham Browne and Nichols does sound fancy.

[Dax Shepard]

It sounds like maybe a suit store almost.

[Mindy Kaling]

Yes. Has like a Hogwarts kind of energy. No, it was a very artsy private school in Cambridge. 100 kids per class. It was really important to me to go there. I took a class that has stuck with me for the rest of my life on satire. When I was in 10th grade at that time, I didn't know the difference between parody and satire. I just thought, like, I watch SNL because I think it's funny and I like it. But we really parsed through all the different things and why they're funny.

[Dax Shepard]

And was it using pop culture as well?

[Mindy Kaling]

Yes. We would read Mark Twain, we'd read, like, Huckleberry Finn. But then we would watch episodes of Saturday Night Live and talk about what they had in common and comedy and used as social justice. So it was a very fancy private school with amazing teachers. But what I learned, and I think everyone goes through this at some point, was it was culturally interesting to be around children whose parents thought education was really important, but who are also from this, for lack of a better term, cultural elite. I tried sushi for the first time. My parents were like, well, we don't eat that. That's expensive and weird. I was using chopsticks. People had summer homes.

[Dax Shepard]

Martha's Vineyard.

[Mindy Kaling]

Vineyard. Like Hamptons.

[Monica Padman]

When summer is a verb.

[Mindy Kaling]

When summer is a verb. And being able to navigate in those circles and go to college and know those kinds of people was, I would argue, almost as valuable as anything else. Because you get into these writers rooms and can you pitch jokes? Can you listen? But there's. There's like a cultural element when you go to rooms with, like, a bunch of guys who went to Harvard. And then I was like, oh, I get this. And that's helped me so much.

[Dax Shepard]

What kind of girl were you in this school?

[Mindy Kaling]

I was friendly, chubby.

[Dax Shepard]

Was it co ed?

[Mindy Kaling]

Co ed.

[Dax Shepard]

I already know that, actually. I heard you say you would stare at boys that wouldn't look at you back and you would have pornographic thoughts about them.

[Monica Padman]

Yes, yes, yes.

[Mindy Kaling]

And just be like, what if I.

[Dax Shepard]

Was thinking of Monica? Of course, when I read that, very similar to Monica's story in high school. This may sound like a huge swing, but I'm going to set it up by saying we've seen this really predictable pattern where we have people who were on Disney and their sexuality was kind of repressed. Yeah, it was forbidden. And when they break out of the Mickey Mouse Club, it's on. They're like super outwardly sexual and then we've had a bunch of mostly actresses who their sexuality was overly embellished. They were sexualized as young performers and then they clamp down when they have a choice. And I was just thinking that for the girls that are super hot that every guy is trying to. Their almost state of rest is I gotta keep that away. But if you can't have it, I think you're liberated to be a pervert. Kind of like guys. Stay tuned for more armchair expert if you dare. We are supported by Macy's. Do you have a special event coming up? Macy's is the perfect place to get a fresh suit or stunning dress dress for a spring wedding or other celebratory occasion. When a big day is on the calendar, you want to look your best and trying clothes on in the store really does help you find pieces that are guaranteed to look and feel incredible. I waste so much money and time by not trying things on and ordering them. It's so much better when I go and try it on.

[Monica Padman]

I love going to a store. You know that.

[Dax Shepard]

The selection of special occasion clothing at Macy's is next level so you're sure to find pieces you will love. They've got a huge array of choices from the best suiting brands including Calvin Klein, Tommy Hilfiger, Michael Kors, Hugo Boss and Be by Brooks. Plus this month they're having their men's semiannual suit sale where you can score incredible savings.

[Monica Padman]

Men do this. Go do this. Because you're always like oh no, I don't have a suit. When you need it, now's the time to get it. Have it in your closet. Be ready and look.

[Dax Shepard]

If online shopping is more your style, which I can relate to, you can get the same great deals at Macy's. Dollar get ready to be voted best dressed at your next event. Shop now@macy's.com or visit your local Macy's store. We are supported by Skims.

[Monica Padman]

Skims has been a long time sponsor which has been incredible because I would be wearing them whether they're partnering with us or not. Don't tell them I said that, but they are one of my favorite brands. The quality is next level. It's so good.

[Dax Shepard]

What have you been wearing lately?

[Monica Padman]

Oh my goodness, pretty much everything from the Fits Everybody collection. You know I like to do a big clean out of my underwear every now and then.

[Dax Shepard]

Sure.

[Monica Padman]

And now that I found the Fits Everybody thong from Skims, it's just all I wear.

[Dax Shepard]

It's Comfy.

[Monica Padman]

It's so comfy and it's cute. You need both in an underpinning in an unmentionable. Yes. I really love it. It's. It's a great product. Product.

[Dax Shepard]

What about underwear lines? You dealing with those when you're wearing skims?

[Mindy Kaling]

No.

[Monica Padman]

Okay.

[Dax Shepard]

I didn't mean to insult you. Or skims. Sorry.

[Monica Padman]

Goodness.

[Dax Shepard]

Never shop skims. Best Intimates, including the Fits Everybody collection and [e-mail] and skim stores. After you place your order, be sure to let them know we sent you. Select podcast in the survey and select our show in the drop down menu that follows. We are supported by All Skills State. Some people just know they could save hundreds on car insurance by checking Allstate first. Like, you know, to check that you brought your towel first before diving into a swimming pool. Or like, you know, to check that you have the tickets in your wallet first before you drive two hours to the big game and they won't let you in. Like, you know, to check your trunk for reusable shopping bags first before you get to the grocery store checkout line and need to buy paper bags again. Again. Checking first is smart. So check Allstate first for a quote. That could save you hundreds. You're in good hands with Allstate Savings vary subject to terms, conditions and availability. Allstate Fire and Casualty Insurance Company and affiliates, Northbrook, Illinois. What do you think of that theory?

[Mindy Kaling]

Your theory is that if you are repressed like that, it makes you sort of a.

[Dax Shepard]

Well, if you've concluded that these guys aren't even going to come at me.

[Mindy Kaling]

Yeah.

[Dax Shepard]

You don't have any defenses up. You're not like, I gotta keep them away. They're trying to fuck me as opposed to like, oh, they're not going to. And now you're kind of like, I think I want to.

[Mindy Kaling]

Yeah. Yeah. And how I think that's true. It's so interesting. I worked in the office for eight years. Love the experience. Largely male cast. What I want to write about is about women who are ambitious and lust after people that they're not interested in.

[Monica Padman]

Yes.

[Dax Shepard]

Yes.

[Mindy Kaling]

Is then every subsequent show. The sex lives with college girls, this new Kate Hudson show, it's all just about women who are trying to make the most of what they have and have sex and be successful. The correlation from how I was in high school and what I didn't have is just expressed in those shows that I was able to do after the office. But it's really interesting to me. My shows have a lot of horny women. My friend BJ Novak makes this joke that every trailer for any Mindy Kaling show has a hot man's torso in slow motion. And I was like, how dare you? That's incredibly reductive. That's. And then it is true. Yeah, every trailer.

[Monica Padman]

It's great.

[Dax Shepard]

It's your turn.

[Mindy Kaling]

It's like Pauline Chalamet, Kate Hudson, Maitre Ramakrishnan. Their head is turning. And it's just like those 80s movies that they can't make anymore. The National Lampoon movies where it's like a guy is following a bouncing girl on the volleyball team.

[Dax Shepard]

In Ronnie Point, she enters the coach's domain and he happens to be shirtless doing pull ups. I do a lot of pull ups. Almost never shirtless.

[Mindy Kaling]

I mean, that's a good point.

[Monica Padman]

You could give it a try. A solid point might be better.

[Mindy Kaling]

It was Jay Ellis. So Jay Ellis on your show. And he's like, could I wear my sweatshirt for my pull ups? You'd be like, whatever makes you comfortable, Jay. But if it's all the same to.

[Monica Padman]

You for the story, it's like having.

[Dax Shepard]

Jordan there and there's two sports on the table. You could either film him playing ice hockey or play basketball. We should have him probably play basketball.

[Mindy Kaling]

We should have him play basketball.

[Dax Shepard]

Yeah, we should get that top off and see how many pull ups we can.

[Mindy Kaling]

And for the record, jealous. He is very funny part in this. He's more than just his hot body. But for the trailer.

[Monica Padman]

Yeah, you got it. You gotta hook him back to Hogwarts. And seeing pornographic images, was it all encompassing when you were home, were you like, oh, I want these boys to like me.

[Mindy Kaling]

Do you know, I think there's a link between this sort of fantasy because obviously I would idolize a guy and just be like, oh, and he's probably like this. And he's probably like this. And I bet he treats his girlfriend so well, super nice to his mom. And he kisses a lot during sex. Like all that stuff. Right.

[Dax Shepard]

So slow you almost want to speak. Beat them up.

[Mindy Kaling]

I've been here for 90 minutes. But when you are someone who lives in those kind of romantic fantasies, I think it informed my writing. I was creating these scenarios in my head which could never have lived up to what you were actually experiencing as someone who lost your virginity when you were 13, I think good memory.

[Dax Shepard]

It was seventh grade, so it could be either 12 or 13.

[Mindy Kaling]

I hope it's 13. I hope it was a solid teenager.

[Dax Shepard]

Does it help you to know I was 5, 11 and 115, 59 pounds. I've been this size since then.

[Mindy Kaling]

That does help.

[Dax Shepard]

It does, right? And my girlfriend, she was in ninth grade.

[Monica Padman]

She's an older woman.

[Mindy Kaling]

Okay.

[Dax Shepard]

And she had enormous boobs and was a woman. We didn't know what else you were.

[Mindy Kaling]

The thing that people make fun of teen shows, they're like, they all look like they're 30. But you were like. Me and my girlfriend were. That.

[Dax Shepard]

We were. She was 15. She was in ninth grade.

[Mindy Kaling]

So it's not a sad indie movie. It's a nice CW show.

[Dax Shepard]

Yes. And she had already had sex once before and she had enjoyed it.

[Monica Padman]

It was a teaching moment for Dax.

[Dax Shepard]

I mean, it was a very brief. We're being so honest. I had made a mixtape and I had hoped that the coitus would start exactly when Love My Way by the Psychedelic Furs came on, because that was my favorite song. And it did. And I don't think I made it to the chorus. I had a condom on.

[Mindy Kaling]

Good. Yeah, Nice.

[Dax Shepard]

But then I didn't know what to do after that. I was like, when do I stop? Then I just kept pumping for a while because when I was that young, I. My penis just stayed hard. I just kept humping. I was like, when do I. Is she gonna tell me when this is over? Like, I'm ready for this whole thing to be over.

[Monica Padman]

Wow.

[Mindy Kaling]

My God. I mean, I have a bunch of follow up questions.

[Dax Shepard]

Yeah, hit me.

[Mindy Kaling]

So it kept going. I didn't know that was possible.

[Dax Shepard]

Well, I think at that age it was possible.

[Mindy Kaling]

Was she like, hey, we're good, we're talking?

[Dax Shepard]

Probably within the first five seconds I had already reached.

[Monica Padman]

So she didn't know.

[Dax Shepard]

No. Because I was wearing a condom, right?

[Mindy Kaling]

Yeah.

[Dax Shepard]

Where I was on a couch. It feels relevant because there wasn't like a lot of options to move around. And I had thought past that. I didn't know, when does this conclude? So I just kept humping. And the longer I was humping, I was like, this is awkward. I don't really know. When did we stop?

[Mindy Kaling]

Because TV and film don't really show. Yeah, they don't tell you.

[Dax Shepard]

They didn't prepare me for that. I had seen Valley Girl and a lot of good films, but none of them had the guy confused on when he should stop. So.

[Monica Padman]

Yeah, feel free to write that in to something.

[Dax Shepard]

You'd be in trouble if you tried to tell the story of a 13 year old and a 15 year old having sex with his.

[Mindy Kaling]

No, it's good.

[Dax Shepard]

Okay. I just want to bring Up. So Monica, admittedly, she lived in deep fantasy. And part of the fantasy was Good Will Hunting. She watched it in her head, famously.

[Mindy Kaling]

I know. And listen to the episode. Oh, the Matt Damon episode, which was such good listening.

[Monica Padman]

What a moment. This is number two to that or take it.

[Mindy Kaling]

It can't be touched.

[Monica Padman]

But really before I was like, I'm nervous. I'm never nervous.

[Dax Shepard]

That's right.

[Monica Padman]

The only other time was him because we had a little. It probably gone.

[Dax Shepard]

It's in the bathroom maybe.

[Mindy Kaling]

No, I went to the bathroom and there's a photo of you.

[Dax Shepard]

I'm so happy you used the restroom.

[Mindy Kaling]

Yeah.

[Dax Shepard]

Okay. Good job.

[Mindy Kaling]

Ike Barinholtz said to quote, bring snacks.

[Monica Padman]

Oh, yeah.

[Mindy Kaling]

Because it's a.

[Dax Shepard]

You'll be here all day. You'll be here.

[Mindy Kaling]

And I was like, okay, that's good to know.

[Dax Shepard]

Get hydrated. Wear something very comfortable. Maybe bring your own couch cushion, cuz it'll be.

[Mindy Kaling]

I'm still thinking about when Dax call me hot at the beginning.

[Dax Shepard]

Yeah, you're very hot. I follow you on Instagram and I often look at pictures of you and I go, she's so hot.

[Mindy Kaling]

That's like really nice.

[Dax Shepard]

I've told Monica that I'm not doing this for yourself.

[Monica Padman]

New information.

[Mindy Kaling]

Well, that's the outcome you hope for when you post those photos, of course. And you think, oh, the best. Some anonymous pervert in the middle of the country. It thinks that. But to think a celebrity is thinking you're hot, that's pretty good.

[Monica Padman]

I would guess many, in fact, most people think that.

[Mindy Kaling]

Hey, that's new. And that feels nice. Thank you.

[Dax Shepard]

Okay, so you liked boys, but did you not have a boyfriend through high school?

[Mindy Kaling]

No. Not even through college.

[Dax Shepard]

Now this is really personal, but we just talked about mine and I gotta bring you into it. Monica.

[Monica Padman]

Sure, go ahead.

[Dax Shepard]

Comes a point when I met Monica, she. She was 27. Eight.

[Monica Padman]

Yes.

[Dax Shepard]

And as she was approaching 30, I just started getting the sense maybe Monica had it.

[Monica Padman]

I probably told you.

[Dax Shepard]

Well, I asked you. Ultimately, I said to Kristen, I don't think Monica's been with a dude. And she's like, yeah, I think she has. I'm like, I don't think so. And then I needed resolution to that kind of argument.

[Mindy Kaling]

Professionally, you needed to.

[Dax Shepard]

Well, luckily, she didn't work for me.

[Monica Padman]

That's true. At the time we were just friends.

[Dax Shepard]

We argued about podcasts all the time. She hadn't. And then my first thought was, was, is it a religious thing?

[Monica Padman]

Right. Are you waiting for marriage?

[Dax Shepard]

Yeah. I was like, do you Want to be married? Is it a religious thing?

[Monica Padman]

You kind of want to say yes. There was a part of me that wanted to say, yeah, there's a real reason that I haven't. And there's a reason nobody wants to have sex with me. It's because I'm waiting for marriage. But no, I was just like, no, it's just hasn't happened.

[Dax Shepard]

But then it becomes a thing, as Monica explained to me. Where it's like, now you pass some point where you're like, oh my God, people are going to think this is weird about me. Were you starting have any of those fears?

[Mindy Kaling]

Yeah, we're describing the premise of the 40 year old virgin, my first movie, which is good to hear that besides being just a funny comedy, you're like a speaking to a truth in my mind. I said, this has to happen before I'm 24. And I don't know whether I heard this afterwards or not, but I remember one of the great gifts that Tina Fey, I think has given to us besides just being really funny. And I love 30 Rock and just being such an amazing joke writer is I think at some point. And she's not someone who is super open, but she said in a book or something that she lost her virginity, age 24. And I remember thinking, that's like a very nice thing to do. It's a gift to give some guideposts to nerdy women. She's beautiful, smart, happy marriage, beautiful daughters. And I thought that was great because we can't all be Dax.

[Monica Padman]

We can't all be 12.

[Dax Shepard]

And well, hold on guys, don't make me the enemy.

[Mindy Kaling]

No, no, no.

[Dax Shepard]

I was in a hick town and I was super large and we were born.

[Mindy Kaling]

And I feel like I keep making you feel self conscious about it, but so I remember thinking that it happened before then.

[Monica Padman]

Good for you. You're way ahead of me.

[Dax Shepard]

Did you. Moni had this too. There is an ambition. So if you do decide you're gonna do something, anything in the world, you will figure out how to do it.

[Mindy Kaling]

That's true.

[Dax Shepard]

And I think you pretty much were like, I'm doing this.

[Monica Padman]

It was like a ticking clock. At one point I was like, it really is time. I wasn't like, I don't care who.

[Mindy Kaling]

Doesn'T have to be the love of your life. That was similar to how I felt.

[Monica Padman]

I didn't need that. But I didn't wanna have a random hookup. And then I was never in a relationship, so I was like, how am I gonna do it?

[Mindy Kaling]

So One thing I think that's tricky about Indian culture is this idea that in my house, dating or any of that was pretty much forbidden in high school. No one is dating, by the way. Not that anyone was coming after me or anything, but I also knew that it was not an option. And then you're expected to sort of, like, go to college and then meet someone and know how to date and then fall in love and get married, but with what skills?

[Dax Shepard]

And everyone's already had five girlfriends that you're gonna meet.

[Mindy Kaling]

I've not yet kissed somebody.

[Monica Padman]

Right, Exactly.

[Mindy Kaling]

Or even know how to be normal in romantic, intimate situations. Forget even about sexual situations. Situations when someone wants to go to the movies with you and you're like, I only know how to do this with my female friend.

[Monica Padman]

Yeah.

[Mindy Kaling]

Like, I know how to go to the movie with my cousin.

[Dax Shepard]

Yeah. What do I eat when I'm with you? Am I getting the popcorn and the Milk Duds?

[Mindy Kaling]

You've seen this? Probably. People go into, I think I just need to have sex right now.

[Monica Padman]

Right.

[Mindy Kaling]

And so I didn't go through that, but I, now that I have three children, definitely want to destigmatize this. You know, I do feel pretty Indian and Hindu in a lot of ways, and I really want to instill that in my culturally. But I do think what I want for them is to be like, yeah, you can go on a date or you can like somebody and talk to me about it. Because I didn't love going into college being like, does a kiss with someone then mean we have to then take this all the way to its completion? Yeah, I didn't love that. It's also a source of a lot of my comedic storytelling. Never have I Ever is literally about a nerd who asks the hottest guy at school, would you have sex with. With me? Growing up in the 80s and the 90s, and I think Dax were about.

[Dax Shepard]

The same age, four years older than you.

[Mindy Kaling]

But you are.

[Dax Shepard]

Yes. Yes, yes. 75. Sorry. You go ahead and say, sorry.

[Monica Padman]

Sorry, sorry, sorry for your so sorry age.

[Mindy Kaling]

Are you 50?

[Dax Shepard]

I just turned 50.

[Mindy Kaling]

Congratulations.

[Dax Shepard]

Thank you.

[Mindy Kaling]

That's a good one.

[Dax Shepard]

I made it.

[Mindy Kaling]

So in the 80s and 90s, it felt like there was so many coming of age for this, like, very specific kind of guy. A geeky guy can't buy me love. And then later, Judd did it with Super Bad. And this is why I always feel like it's crazy when people can't watch things with subtitles, because I'm like, my entire life was being able to relate to characters who look nothing like me. I can do it easily. I'm very invested in Ross and Rachel. And we were on a break and, like, I can relate to them.

[Monica Padman]

Yes.

[Mindy Kaling]

And so it's crazy when people are like, I can't watch Parasite.

[Dax Shepard]

What if they're dyslexic? First of all, I loved Parasite. But what if reading takes so much of your concentration you're totally missing all the visuals?

[Mindy Kaling]

That's a separate situation. And sometimes I find subtitles annoying too, when I just wanna relax. So I felt like that felt really untapped and fun. This thing that I could relate to and wanted to do shows and TV about that kind of stuff.

[Dax Shepard]

So we have to go through a couple of the fun touch points, touchstones of your ride to here. Which is, as you mentioned, Dartmouth. You wrote for their Comedy magazine, Jack O'Lantern.

[Mindy Kaling]

Very briefly.

[Dax Shepard]

It didn't work out or it wasn't acrimonious.

[Mindy Kaling]

But I just felt it was not my idea of fun. It felt a little too competitive. And there was no performance element to it. So I did more sketch comedy. I more hung with, like, the actors.

[Dax Shepard]

Right. And you were in an improv troupe, which I loved. And you did stand up.

[Mindy Kaling]

I did stand up briefly after college when I moved to Brooklyn. But when I was in college, I did all those performing arts groups that you then immediately learn when you graduate are, like, so beyond lame. When I was at college, it was so fun and felt so cool. But acapella, in short form, Improv. Yeah.

[Dax Shepard]

Yeah.

[Mindy Kaling]

And I made some of my greatest friends. Like, my godmother of my three children was in my acapella group. Brenda, Jocelyn. Brenda's my other dear friend.

[Dax Shepard]

Okay.

[Mindy Kaling]

Brenda is who I did Mountain Ben with.

[Dax Shepard]

And you broke her nose.

[Mindy Kaling]

I broke her nose on stage when the New York Times was.

[Dax Shepard]

While they were there.

[Mindy Kaling]

While they were there.

[Dax Shepard]

Oopsies. Do you think their presence added to that happening?

[Mindy Kaling]

Yeah. And then also my deep lack of, like, coordination because I had to be the person that threw the punch.

[Dax Shepard]

Right.

[Mindy Kaling]

It was off off Broadway. We didn't have, like, a fight coordinator. I was just like, so I'm gonna punch and you'll kind of duck back.

[Dax Shepard]

Sure. That's a great plan. Forget where the audience is.

[Mindy Kaling]

Yeah. We're like, in a 90C black box theater in the East Village. That was crazy. I really.

[Dax Shepard]

Did you hurt your hand? Because often if you've broken someone's nose, you could break your hand.

[Mindy Kaling]

No one ever thinks about the other victim in punching.

[Dax Shepard]

Yeah, they don't think about the Predators.

[Monica Padman]

Because you throw.

[Dax Shepard]

Yeah, I've broken my hand.

[Mindy Kaling]

It does hurt. Your knuckles. The St. Vincent's Hospital is still open then, and she's getting her nose checked. And like, oh, my knuckles kind of hurt too. Hey.

[Monica Padman]

Wondering if we could take a little X ray.

[Mindy Kaling]

But she was such a good sport. I mean, that was a real instance of like, the show must go on.

[Dax Shepard]

I wouldn't want to ever see someone get punched. But also, I really wish I had seen that. You're going to remember that for your life. If you go to a play and one of the actors breaks the other actors. No, especially if it's too two women.

[Mindy Kaling]

And dressed in drag. She recoiled and there was a silence. And I was like, I felt that. But I had this feeling, right. She dropped, she stumbled back, she didn't fall. But I remember this feeling of like, I definitely felt it, but is there a chance she didn't? Right. You know, like, my hand feels like it, but is there a chance that it's skimmed? Do you know, like, when you are walking in your house and you hear the horrible sounding splat, like someone. Surely they broke their bones. And then your kid's like, I fine. And you're like, how?

[Dax Shepard]

Yes. You get little miracles.

[Mindy Kaling]

You're like, little miracles. And I was like, is it one of those moments where it didn't hurt her?

[Dax Shepard]

Well, I think that's why the first step of processing grief is denial. That's the denial phase. You're like, well, I felt it, but maybe she did.

[Mindy Kaling]

It was total denial.

[Dax Shepard]

Yeah.

[Mindy Kaling]

She's like a real actress and she still acts now. And she's a real theater actress.

[Dax Shepard]

Yeah, she has her own theater now.

[Mindy Kaling]

Yes, she does. In Welly. And so she rolled it. She stepped back. Blood. We had to go off stage. They had to stop the show. But it was the first time. Time where I was like, oh, the show must go on. Is real. And we were like, this is a 50 minute play. But it was really her being like, I want to go out and finish it again.

[Dax Shepard]

I have to keep bringing it back to Jordan. Or Isaiah Thomas playing on a broken ankle in the final. She's got to do it. It's game seven.

[Mindy Kaling]

Jordan. Food poisoning or was poisoned. Yes. Getting through it.

[Dax Shepard]

Yeah.

[Mindy Kaling]

Dave Staus and Ike Barinholz talk about that moment all the time.

[Dax Shepard]

I can only imagine them being from Chicago or at least Ike and how much they must talk about Jordan.

[Mindy Kaling]

Oh, my God, those guys love you too.

[Dax Shepard]

I love. Ike is so fucking. There couldn't be a better guest. He Is wonderful. He's coming.

[Monica Padman]

I think he's coming soon.

[Dax Shepard]

Yeah, he's coming soon. I was delighted to see him in the credits for running Point and doing.

[Mindy Kaling]

The show with him. And Dave was so fun because we'd work together.

[Dax Shepard]

Dave is his partner. He made the best joke I've ever heard, which is, Dave is a Gentile. And Ike says that in several pitch meetings he has said he lost a family member in the Holocaust. He fell off a guard tower.

[Mindy Kaling]

Yes. And poor Dave. Dave is like, hey, can we not call me a Nazi? Like in another. Is that okay?

[Dax Shepard]

What a joke.

[Mindy Kaling]

In a good old fashioned joke.

[Dax Shepard]

It is. It's classic.

[Mindy Kaling]

It's a classic. And those guys are throwback. Like, I've never met two guys and worked with them where they're just so hyper masculine. You know, like the kinds of guys that remember literally crying at an NBA finals. Like, they love Derrick Rose. They love Jordan. They remember the Pippin Jordan. Like, they're just talking about that. They're so straight and so Chicago, but then also completely without any, any kind of agenda. Feminists with daughters who care about women. And so when we're doing the show, Jeanie Buss approached me about doing the show because she liked the Office.

[Dax Shepard]

So really quick. Jeanie Buss is the daughter of Jerry Buss, who had owned the Lakers.

[Mindy Kaling]

So the great Jeanie Buss, who runs the Lakers, decided that she wanted to do a show about her life. And she had seen a lot of shows and books written about the Lakers where she was like a side character. And she is the woman who runs this. And she has the most difficult, sexy, glamorous job.

[Dax Shepard]

When I was watching the title sequence, because it's giving us a pretty good layout of the setup is in the title sequence.

[Mindy Kaling]

Oh, you've seen it? Yes. Okay, cool.

[Dax Shepard]

And as I was watching it, I was like, well, this is Jenny Buss story. And then I saw her name in the credits and I was like, oh, good, she's participated.

[Mindy Kaling]

It's so funny you mention that because when we did the trailer, people will comment, oh, so basically you took the Jamie Buss story and made it a show. They think I'm ripped her off. Ripped her off. And I'm like, no, no, this is her idea. She came to me. She's an executive producer on the show. I love her.

[Dax Shepard]

Is she married to Phil Jackson?

[Mindy Kaling]

They dated.

[Dax Shepard]

They dated. Okay.

[Mindy Kaling]

Seriously dated?

[Dax Shepard]

Yeah, For a long time.

[Mindy Kaling]

Yeah. She's married to Jay Moore.

[Dax Shepard]

Oh, she is.

[Mindy Kaling]

Stand up. She loves comedians, loves comedy.

[Dax Shepard]

She gets to hear his perfect Walk in anytime she wants. He does the very best. Christopher Walken. In fact, I think he's who started the Christopher Walken.

[Mindy Kaling]

He used to do that, right? Yes.

[Dax Shepard]

And it's not. Not just that his accent's so perfect. It's. He has tapped into what kind of things Walken would say. One of his famous ones is he goes, I don't like sports, but gymnastics, boys or girls bouncing on the mats.

[Monica Padman]

It's exciting.

[Dax Shepard]

Like, it's not about the accent. It's that this guy would love gymnastics. Boys or girls bouncing on the mat.

[Mindy Kaling]

Your walk is pretty good, too.

[Dax Shepard]

That was a bad one. Don't judge me by it. I'll do it later.

[Monica Padman]

It was okay. Oh, it's coming back, so that's great.

[Dax Shepard]

She's marrying, married to him, so she.

[Mindy Kaling]

Wanted to do the show. And I met her and I just fell in love with her. She's such a perfect person to base a character on, to be the star of a show. She's has the sexiest life. I mean, she was literally engaged secretly for a while to the head coach. Greatest coach of all time himself, has written a really fascinating book. And she's really sexy. She has to be sexy. Like, part of her job is that she has to appeal to men in a really certain kind of way.

[Dax Shepard]

Then it's the Lakers. It's its own thing.

[Monica Padman]

It's an institution.

[Mindy Kaling]

And it's glitzy and glammy, full celebrities and tough decisions. And then I read her book. Then I interviewed her and her best friend, the great Linda Rambis, who is another producer on this, and her sudden Jordan, who's another producer who's also great. So anyway, it was like, this is a show I have to do. I grew up loving the Celtics. My dad was a huge fan.

[Dax Shepard]

Who was his favorite player?

[Mindy Kaling]

He really liked JoJo White and Hondo Havlicek.

[Dax Shepard]

Oh, okay.

[Mindy Kaling]

Yeah. So obviously Bird Parrish, you know, the greats. But they were, like, deep. I always love basketball, and my dad always was like, no, this is a sport. Like, they're so athletic. It's fast moving. When she approached me, I checked with Ike and Dave. They were busy. They were on a deal at another studio. They couldn't do it, but I'd been dying to work with them. They were writers in the Mindy Project. They were on set writers. And so I loved their energy as an actress. I loved working with them because they're the kind of rare writer where they would give you a note, but they understand the performer's psyche. You've been on shows, and this was at the office. There was the writers who would really piss off the actors because they would do, like, either line readings or they would come in with notes too quickly. And I have both sensitivities. I, as an actress, was like, let me have fucking two takes, please. You know, I'm not sitting here saying that I'm Elisabeth Moss or, like, one of the great actresses, but I do have that side where I'm like, let me work it out minimally.

[Dax Shepard]

You want to do the best version of what you thought it was.

[Mindy Kaling]

Exactly.

[Dax Shepard]

And then if that's not what they want, great. Let me try to give it to you. But give me a chance to do the thing well that I think it should be.

[Mindy Kaling]

But then I also have the side as the showrunner where I'm like, hey, this is too slow. Someone needs to go in and tell them they need to speak quicker. This is a comedy.

[Monica Padman]

Yes.

[Mindy Kaling]

Right. Or like, hey, this precision in this language. This line needs to be said as written because it's not coming across the way you think it is. What's nice about those guys in that experience, which was already terrifying, is that they knew how to give me notes and when to give. That made me be better. And they really understood actors, which is why on this new show, I mean, they are beloved by everyone. Brenda Song, who's amazing, an old pro, Kate. All the guys are in the basketball, the background actors are in the team. They all love Ike and Dave. Ike is just that guy. It's like Monday, and he's coming in to the grip. He's like, how was your daughter? Sweet 16, you know, he's annoyingly personal.

[Monica Padman]

He's like the guy that is in school. And you're like, oh, I bet he's like this. And I bet he's like this. And there's no way it's true. But then he is.

[Dax Shepard]

Yeah.

[Mindy Kaling]

You know, encyclopedic knowledge about politics, history, and movies.

[Dax Shepard]

Well, I didn't know this about him until I was researching you today that he went on a crazy run on Jeopardy. He started on Celebrity Jeopardy. Won that. And then they brought him in. Did you know this, Monica? And they brought him into normal Jeopardy. And he mopped up.

[Mindy Kaling]

And then he was on Jimmy Kimmel's show and made a million dollars for a school for deaf children with his dad.

[Monica Padman]

Sounding totally made up.

[Dax Shepard]

He's a. I know.

[Mindy Kaling]

And he's pretty easy on the eyes.

[Monica Padman]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Okay. It kind of feels like this is not a love letter to Your dad, but it is sort of. You made a show about basketball and then Mindy Project is sort of for your mom.

[Mindy Kaling]

Yeah.

[Monica Padman]

You are an OB in that. Is that intentional?

[Mindy Kaling]

I'm definitely inspired by elements of them. I will say, though, when I talk to my dad about the shows he loves, he respects this, but these are not his kinds of shows.

[Dax Shepard]

What are his shows? Does he like, like Blue Bloods and stuff? Stuff?

[Mindy Kaling]

No, but that's a good guess.

[Dax Shepard]

Okay.

[Mindy Kaling]

The typical dad show. I actually am liking those shows. Like all Bosch, Lincoln Lawyer. I'm really a shut in with four Friends. So I love Ford versus Ferrari. I'm watching the dad shows.

[Dax Shepard]

Well, you don't want to watch what you make. People will be bummed at me that I haven't seen certain comedies. And I'm like, I don't love watching comedy because I can just feel the math most of the time and I can't get lost in it.

[Mindy Kaling]

I relate to that and I've heard of it. But then I watch your wife's show. I watch every moment the weekend it came out. You know what it is that I don't respond to is things that are overrated, which is a lot. Right. But when things are correctly rated, like, nobody wants this for me, I'm a single mom, 45. I live in LA. I want to see Kristen fall in love with Adam Brody and want to become a better person and go on hot dates and have hot kisses.

[Dax Shepard]

That kiss was. Was the best kiss I think I've ever seen.

[Mindy Kaling]

You're talking about the one on the.

[Dax Shepard]

Sidewalk end of the episode.

[Mindy Kaling]

She gets in the Uber.

[Dax Shepard]

Yeah, they shot it right. Held her head the right way. It was slow enough.

[Mindy Kaling]

Her sister Justine is so good. His brother. Everyone is so good in doing it. Right. I tend to be harder on comedies, for sure. But the thing that my assistant makes fun of me is she's like, you watch everything. And it's true. I was watching the Fornication Fernanda Torres movie. I'm still here. She was nominated for best actress. And it could not be more different than anything that I work on. But she is the wife of someone. It's a period piece whose husband has been disappeared by the government. Right. And how do you carry on after all that watching that? Like, weeping. So I really don't have a social life. I really just watch TV and film and wear cute outfits.

[Dax Shepard]

Us too, by the way. Don't let that character. Nobody wants to mislead you. We have two kids.

[Mindy Kaling]

You go to France and stay in.

[Dax Shepard]

Bradley Cooper's house the year our kid was born. That was the last trip I took like that. And that was 2013.

[Monica Padman]

We did go to France and stay at Bradley's house for a night, but the whole family. Yeah.

[Dax Shepard]

Is that we were.

[Monica Padman]

That's true.

[Mindy Kaling]

Vacation.

[Dax Shepard]

I guess we do go on family vacations.

[Mindy Kaling]

You don't go to Coachella?

[Dax Shepard]

No, no.

[Mindy Kaling]

You're not seeing live music?

[Dax Shepard]

No, no, no.

[Mindy Kaling]

None of that's happened. Really.

[Dax Shepard]

No. We leave this house to go to the airport and we'll go on a vacation. But in general, in la, we don't ever leave the sides.

[Mindy Kaling]

Did you go to like Jimmy Kimmel's compound and fishing?

[Dax Shepard]

Yes, that's. We go to the airport or we get in the bus and drive.

[Mindy Kaling]

Okay. I'm trying to bust you on having a nice life. What is going on here?

[Dax Shepard]

I'm flattered by it, but when you got hired on the Office, did you know you were coming in as a performer?

[Mindy Kaling]

No. That is one of the four or five truly lucky things that's ever happened to me, career wise. I came in as a writer. I would have done anything just to be in the writer's guild was prepared to have a life of that and they just needed regular. So the reason it was lucky was because I don't think I would have been cast 2004 sitcom. There's no way I would have been on any actual show that wasn't like a mockumentary about an unglamorous place with normal people.

[Dax Shepard]

Yeah, right. Real people.

[Mindy Kaling]

But with those rules in place, he could be like, hey NBC, can this woman be in it? And they're like, oh yeah, yeah, she looks real.

[Dax Shepard]

Yes.

[Mindy Kaling]

Almost too real though. Because when I look back at that first season, I remember Mike Sher and BJ Paul Lieberstein like, yeah, yeah, yeah, this is real, this is real. And then I wasn't thinking like, hey, you're a 24 year old single woman, like maybe put on a little makeup.

[Dax Shepard]

You would still have makeup on and do your hair.

[Mindy Kaling]

Cuz I remember at that time it was like, yeah, what's cool in comedy? Like put me in an ugly shirt. I want my judge to think I'm cool. And guess what? Cool comedy guys who like that, they actually still like hot women. Exactly.

[Monica Padman]

UCB was like that for a long time too. Where you had to sort of choose your camp. You had to be a boy basically and. And funny or a hot girl. I do think that's changed a ton.

[Mindy Kaling]

Sarah Silverman wore a hoodie and jeans, which works for Sarah. When you're stunningly beautiful. Your beauty still comes through. You can't even hide it.

[Dax Shepard]

Yeah, Try as you might. I did that though, for a movie. Let's go to prison. I'm like, yeah, I'm a prisoner. No hair, no makeup. And I was like, you're on film. You should probably.

[Monica Padman]

Yeah, I know. Well, it's hard to see yourself on film regardless of what you look like. I mean, even Kristen, she's like, I don't like that she's perfect looking. And so for her to say that.

[Dax Shepard]

Well, she'll find the thing. They cannot shoot my hands.

[Mindy Kaling]

I have the hands of a 90 year old woman.

[Monica Padman]

Surprisingly, you'd be shocked actually, because that wasn't the response.

[Mindy Kaling]

You were supposed to be like, I know, it's absurd. Her hands are beautiful. Baby's hands.

[Monica Padman]

I spent a lot of time zooming in on her hands when I worked for her. And I was like, we gotta photoshop this.

[Dax Shepard]

Our friend Anna just scours the Internet and then sends Kristen pictures with her hands circled.

[Monica Padman]

And also, if that's the one thing, you got to take it. But do you still fantasize about men in the way that you did when you were looking at boys?

[Mindy Kaling]

I don't remember the last time I had a crush. I don't have lust feelings now. Maybe that's connected to if you've had to pump milk for a baby within the last six months. Maybe you have to give yourself some time.

[Monica Padman]

Hormones.

[Mindy Kaling]

One of your commercials, you were both talking about it and it was like, are you perimenopausal? Take this medication. I was like, yeah, yeah, yeah. Daxton, Monica are telling me about this ad. That's how open I was listening to this podcast. I was like, I got to get the ad. I gotta get this pill they're talking about.

[Monica Padman]

Oh, wow.

[Mindy Kaling]

No, but anyway, I, I'm at that age.

[Dax Shepard]

Can I just say, I think most women who have just had a baby experience quite a decline. I think your body's like, hey, we have a very specific mission right now.

[Mindy Kaling]

Not Kylie Jenner, but again, I'm twice the age she was when she had.

[Monica Padman]

Age is a factor. Yeah, but also I think fantasy is a factor because I fantasized so much growing up that it can replace doing the real thing for me.

[Mindy Kaling]

That's chilling. It's a good point. You know, if I listen to who's like one of the great interview, like Hugh Grant, have you guys ever heard him get interviewed?

[Dax Shepard]

I find him to be incredibly charming talk show appearances, but I've never heard.

[Mindy Kaling]

Long form he did, I think, Smart List. He was promoting a new horror movie, and I thought that was an interesting choice. So I was like, oh, I want to watch this and hear why he would do a horror movie. That seems fun. So I listened to it. Smartless is like you guys were. It brings out a good side in him. But it was like his podcast. He was so funny. I was like, I know you haven't had this conversation before, but why is every anecdote you're saying perfectly worded? Great analogies, great callbacks to stories that you then call back later? I was listening to that, and I was like, I have a crush on you, Hugh Grant. But I wasn't, like, Googling him to see if he was in between marriages.

[Dax Shepard]

Okay, yeah, sure, sure.

[Mindy Kaling]

Not that he would be interested, but I was satiated.

[Dax Shepard]

You didn't go to the next zone.

[Mindy Kaling]

The next run, the next zone of how do I call my agent, orchestrate.

[Dax Shepard]

Some bump in, Go to the premiere.

[Mindy Kaling]

To his indie horror movie.

[Dax Shepard]

I do think, culturally, the Eng are better at being interviewed. They have a tradition there of going on the show and being prepared. There's an expectation there that I think the bar is higher.

[Mindy Kaling]

Do you think that so many of the young actors, they were raised being, like, being in plays and doing Shakespeare doesn't make you effeminate? It's part of our tradition. We can learn Shakespeare, and it doesn't make us pussies. Sorry to use that word in pejorative, but you can be a very masculine man and be in Much Ado About Nothing.

[Dax Shepard]

I feel like there's a lot of more options.

[Mindy Kaling]

That a good point.

[Dax Shepard]

Okay, so when you started acting and throughout the course of the Office, you ended up being in tons of movies, there had to be a point I'm imagining where you could have at least considered, do I want to continue writing or do I just want to act? Did you ever have those thoughts?

[Mindy Kaling]

There was a little zone I had where I'd have, like, four lines in Seth Rogen movie. I was Paul Rudd's ex and something, and it never felt like, oh, I could cobble together a job this way. But it was really glamorous.

[Dax Shepard]

What about post Mindy, though, when you do. Oh, shoot.

[Mindy Kaling]

Those experiences were really fun. Doing oceans and doing a wrinkle in time, it really crystallized to me that I am probably not gonna be really good in something unless I write it. There's something about my cadences or what I think I'm good at that I could probably showcase better if I just wrote it. Myself. Which is not to say that I don't think I was fine in A Wrinkle in Time. The movie's not about my acting. I love doing this. I love being in Inside out and I love being cast in things. And we all have the dream of like, Wes Anders needs you to be a bellhop and something like that. Yeah, of course I'd love to go do that, but I don't think I'll ever be able to make a living unless I'm maybe writing it myself or another show.

[Dax Shepard]

Stay tuned for more Armchair Expert if you dare.

[Mindy Kaling]

Ready to electrify your drive? Hyundai's cutting edge EV lineup is about to change everything you thought you knew about electric vehicles. Prepare to be captivated by a range that's as bold as it is is brilliant. From the lightning fast Ioniq 5 and Ioniq 6 charging from 10 to 80% in a mere 18 minutes, to the tech packed cabins boasting highway driving assist and blind spot collision warning, Hyundai EVs are redefining the electric experience. And with America's best warranty, including a 10 year, 100,000mile limited electric battery warranty, you'll drive with unmatched confidence. Hyundai's EVs aren't just the future, they're the now you've been waiting for. Learn more about Hyundai's [e-mail] call 562-314-4603 for complete details. America's best warranty claim based on total package of warranty programs. See dealer for limited warranty details. See your Hyundai dealer for further details and limitations.

[Monica Padman]

Imagine this. You help your little brother land a great job abroad, but when he arrives, the job doesn't exist. Instead, he's trapped in a heavily guarded compound, forced to sit at a computer and scam innocent victims, all while armed guards stand by with shoot to kill orders. Scam Factory, the explosive new true crime podcast from Wondery, exposes a multi billion dollar criminal empire operating in plain sight. Told through one family's harrowing account of sleepless nights, desperate phone calls and dangerous rescue attempts, Scam Factory reveals a brutal truth.

[Mindy Kaling]

The only way out is to scam their way out.

[Monica Padman]

Follow Scam Factory on the Wondery app.

[Mindy Kaling]

Or wherever you get your podcasts.

[Monica Padman]

You can binge all episodes of Scam Factory early and ad free right now by Joining Wondery.

[Mindy Kaling]

At 24, I lost my narrative. Or rather, it was stolen from me.

[Monica Padman]

And the Monica Lewinsky that my friends.

[Mindy Kaling]

And family knew was usurped by false narratives, callous jokes and Politics. I would define reclaiming as to take back what was yours. Something you possess is lost or stolen, and ultimately you try triumph in finding it again. So I think listeners can expect me to be chatting with folks both recognizable and unrecognizable names about the way that people have navigated roads to triumph. My hope is that people will finish an episode of Reclaiming and feel like they filled their tank up, they connected with the people that I'm talking to, and leave with maybe some nuggets that help them feel a little more hopeful.

[Monica Padman]

Follow Reclaim Reclaiming with Monica Lewinsky on.

[Mindy Kaling]

The Wondery app or wherever you get your podcasts. You can listen to Reclaiming early and.

[Monica Padman]

Ad free right now by joining Wondery.

[Mindy Kaling]

In the Wondery app or on Apple podcasts. You know, it's so funny when we're talking about those roles that I did from 2004. It was exciting. I was like, oh, I'm gonna go be on Curb and play like Richard Lewis, assistant. Oh, I'm gonna go be in 40 old virgin and I'll be Natalie Portman's other friend that's not Greta Gerwig, and we're gonna do whatever. But what was interesting about that, and I'm so curious about you guys, is I was never part of a comedy clique, and I was really jealous. And I had a chip on my shoulder about it.

[Dax Shepard]

Sure.

[Mindy Kaling]

Because in that aughts time, you were in a clicker. You weren't. I was on the Office. So maybe people were like, well, she's there. And maybe you could argue that that was a clique. But the writing staff was very competitive with each other. We all had our own private ambitions, our own stuff we wanted to do. We wanted to write the best script, kill the table, read, have Steve Carell think we were the funniest writer. We were all friends also and helping each other, but we were like, when are we gonna get a show? And I was jealous of Jud and Seth and Jason. And then there was Amy and Tina and Will doing the ice skating movie.

[Monica Padman]

The Danny McBride Camp.

[Mindy Kaling]

Danny McBride came a little bit later. Remember then that there was the Fempire. It was literally a click of female writers that were successful. And I was like Diablo and Liz Meriwether. And so I felt like the entire odds was me coming up on a show that I loved but being like, why can't I be in a clique? Yes, I remember. I'm just talking. Sorry.

[Dax Shepard]

No, yeah, I relate to it deeply.

[Mindy Kaling]

You do?

[Dax Shepard]

Because I was like, I'm not in the Judd clique. I'm not in Will Ferrell's clique. I'm not in Vince Vaughn or Owens.

[Mindy Kaling]

Clique that click Wedding Crashers.

[Dax Shepard]

Yes. And even Cooper was in that.

[Mindy Kaling]

He's really funny in that movie.

[Dax Shepard]

He is. He is. I did have the Groundlings clicked. And all those guys have Boom, Chicago or IO. I understand feeling like, oh, they're all from this thing.

[Mindy Kaling]

It really fueled me in a good and bad way where I was like, I don't have Lauren, I don't have Judd, I don't have any of these people who are going to do something for me. I got to do it myself. I'm going to show them all. I have that energy. But also clicks exist because people are friends.

[Dax Shepard]

Yeah.

[Mindy Kaling]

They go out to dinner and they ask each other about their lives.

[Dax Shepard]

You kind of earn those clicks. No one knocks on your door and says, hey, you want to be in the Judd clique?

[Mindy Kaling]

Yeah. And they're not just friends because they're trying to get ahead in their career. I'm such an introvert and so socially anxious that I remember being on the set for 40 Year Old Virgin and there's the four rows of video Village and Paul and Seth and Elizabeth Banks was gonna work that day and Leslie Mann was there and they were all sitting at the front by the monitors, joking around, talking and everything. And I was sitting in the back row and it became so awkward because I didn't feel like I knew how to jump in. And I also knew cause I'd been in the office. That feeling when someone's trying to be part of it. And I didn't want to do that.

[Monica Padman]

Desperation, desperation.

[Mindy Kaling]

I'm like, I'm feeling desperate. So whatever I say is going to sound like Paul and Banks. Like, whatever. And so I just went back to my trailer. I remember thinking, I hope, hope, hope that they don't think that I was.

[Dax Shepard]

Being cold, standoffish or. Yes, yes, yes.

[Mindy Kaling]

I mean, the truth is, they weren't thinking about me. I was a day player on the 40 Hill Virgin. But I remember being like, what a missed opportunity. If I was better socially, I could have been smiley. And then when they turned to me, been like, I've always wanted to go to Maui. You know, their Hawaiian vacation conversation. Because people do that really successfully that are just normal and nice and you're like, yeah, come join the convo.

[Dax Shepard]

But then you get into this situation, you end up getting mad at yourself that you're not a certain type of person. But that certain type of person also Wouldn't have gotten you there in the first place if you were some crazy social butterfly. I don't know that you spend the time in your room writing. I don't know that you bring notebooks to the movie theater when you're 15 and start writing down dialogue. There's a lot of things you probably don't do if you had that skill set. So it's like you can only be so regretful that you weren't that way.

[Mindy Kaling]

Loneliness is a choice, I think. And as I'm getting older, what I'm noticing, I have a friend, Parisa, who said this to me. She was like, oh, yeah, we gotta get dinner next month. And I'm always like, I'm tired. I don't want to do whatever. And she's like, you can't be one of those old people that has no friends except their spouse. You just want to watch your Netflix. So you kind of just have to make dinner plans and go. I have three kids, which is a lot for an underwater.

[Dax Shepard]

You have a one year old, a four year old and a seven year old?

[Mindy Kaling]

Yeah, ten months. Four and seven. And I remember thinking recently, did I have three kids? So I have three friends like Michael.

[Dax Shepard]

Scott, by the way, because mine are a little older. They're 10 and 11, and they're just straight up friends.

[Mindy Kaling]

They're friends, yeah.

[Dax Shepard]

I took my 11 year old to Lisbon last year to see Taylor Swift. One of the best trips I've ever had with a woman in my life.

[Mindy Kaling]

What you just described is literally what I'm longing for. I cannot wait till my daughter's just a little bit older. It's around the corner, just in Paris. I just can't wait to take her.

[Dax Shepard]

Wait till you're arguing with them. They have a different point of view about a political thing or a world event. That is so fun seeing their little brain. No, actually, I'm different than you. I'm going to show you. I'm like, oh, this is great.

[Monica Padman]

But I agree that they can't replace friendships. Or that's the thing they talk about in therapy. Like, my mom only has me. I'm her friend, but she's my mom.

[Dax Shepard]

They can, but they'll leave. That's the point.

[Mindy Kaling]

They'll leave.

[Monica Padman]

They go to college. They go do their thing.

[Mindy Kaling]

My new resolution is I have to start watering and adding fertilizer to my adult friendships.

[Dax Shepard]

It's a hack to just plan it way out. Right now you should be making plans for March, March 19, because right now you're like, I can't do anything in the next three weeks.

[Mindy Kaling]

Yes.

[Dax Shepard]

But you think for some reason on March 20th you'll be available. I think that's how you hack our disposition. Schedule it for way far out. Because you'll say yes and you'll put it in a calendar and then you'll just have to go because you do everything. That's your calendar.

[Mindy Kaling]

So I'll just be like, Monica and I are going to Dunsmore end of March.

[Dax Shepard]

Yes.

[Monica Padman]

Oh my God, yes.

[Dax Shepard]

Her phone just exploded.

[Monica Padman]

Exploded. Also Dunsmore, great place.

[Mindy Kaling]

Haven't been but was proud of the reference. Yeah, heard is cool.

[Monica Padman]

It's great.

[Dax Shepard]

Listen, you guys both love fashion, you love rom coms fashion.

[Monica Padman]

I love fashion, love romcoms, love it all. And then another thing in common that I obviously want to talk to you about is the kids being because I have frozen my eggs.

[Mindy Kaling]

Good for you.

[Monica Padman]

I did it on air.

[Dax Shepard]

It was a show.

[Monica Padman]

Yeah, we did a show. It did not go great for me. I got two mature eggs the first time and then I did it again and I got seven. So I have nine, which isn't amazing, but it is what it is. And when the fires happened, I was like, are my eggs gone? Cuz they were in Pasadena. And then I thought, how would I feel if they were gone? I'm not a person that knows I'm definitely having kids. Were you like, I'm definitely getting to be a mom in this life.

[Mindy Kaling]

Yeah. You know, I felt when I was a kid I'm definitely getting married because I love romantic love and I love men and romance and I'm definitely going to have children. And then when I got into my 20s and I had a couple pretty unfulfilling relationships and then as I was in my 30s, I was like, I don't know that me getting married and honestly divorces and seeing some of that happening.

[Dax Shepard]

Did your parents stay married?

[Mindy Kaling]

They had an amazing marriage and particularly when my mom got sick and the way my dad took care of her.

[Dax Shepard]

Both of our parents died in the same year, by the way.

[Mindy Kaling]

Oh really?

[Dax Shepard]

Yeah. 2012.

[Mindy Kaling]

2012. What my dad did for my mom in that final year, I was like, wow, what a great guy. But what a great marriage. But anyway, I knew that I wanted children, but I was old enough at that point and had enough sort of disposable income and had seen so many acrimonious divorces. I hope this doesn't sound bad and this is not going to be relatable to a lot of listeners, but a person would have built up Their career and their nest egg. And then they have a divorce and half of their money's gone. That should happen in most cases. And California law is a reason to protect families. And I get it, but I was like, damn, I don't want that.

[Monica Padman]

Exactly.

[Mindy Kaling]

Not that it's all about the money. And so this romantic part of me that was like, you're gonna find your Darcy was like, well, what if Darcy takes all my money and then takes off my money? And then I have these fantasies because I'm insane, where I'm like, he's gonna take half my money and his bitch wife, they'll get a fucking fifth Avenue apartment.

[Dax Shepard]

She'll go buy all the stuff you didn't let yourself buy.

[Mindy Kaling]

Yeah. And then buy office residuals from playing ke. They're gonna be sending their kids to Dalton in the Upper west side or whatever, while I'm childless because I have revenge fantasies. Not healthy at all. I was like, I don't want my money to go to this hypothetical ex and his new family. I also was like, I wanna have Christmas and Thanksgiving with my children every year because I'm a writer and also insane. I these fantasies where I'm like. So I would be then alone, where my children were going to this other person's house.

[Dax Shepard]

Do you think because you had such an active fantasy about what it was all going to be that men have had a hard time living up to what you were fantasizing about?

[Mindy Kaling]

Yes. Having a guy that is very funny. Independently wealthy, busy. Six, two.

[Monica Padman]

Oh, my God. These are all mine.

[Mindy Kaling]

Do you know what I mean? Jewish? No, it's just good body, but not too good.

[Monica Padman]

Yeah.

[Mindy Kaling]

Has a hairy chest, but not too hairy.

[Monica Padman]

Not a perfect face. You don't want it. Cookie cutter. You just have some character to it.

[Mindy Kaling]

Yeah. Chipped tooth.

[Monica Padman]

Oh, your standards are high. As they should be.

[Mindy Kaling]

Yeah. Smart and funny with a job in health insurance, which, by the way, in LA is actually pretty hard. Although, you know what's weird? I know the version of that that's a single woman in excess.

[Monica Padman]

I agree.

[Mindy Kaling]

And like a hot woman. I know so many writers on all my shows that are like a 29 year old. Educated, funny. They were the first to when the fires happened. They're like, let's go make sandwiches.

[Dax Shepard]

I'll add, this will sound like pandering, but. But I believe it. I do think as a man becomes more successful and wealthy, his options widen. And I think for a woman, they narrow the pool of men you guys have to choose from that are not going to be Threatened by your job and your wealth and your status and your attention is a very small pool. I feel heartbroken for half the females we interview. We were watching the Paris Hilton documentary and I'm like, this fucking guy ruins her show, gets too drunk, it makes a scene because he's so jealous. Everyone wants her attention and it's like, what's that girl to do? Who the fuck is she gonna meet?

[Mindy Kaling]

I know. And so what was a real gift to me was the ability to really enjoy my autonomy. I know it might surprise people, but I love seeing my friends marriages that work. I love my married couples. I love hanging out with my friends who are married couples. But I love my life so much. I am so invested in what's going on with my children. But also I have this sort of extra bandwidth to have these several shows on the air and to be able to do all the editing and Managerian going to sets and traveling for all that still take care of my three children. I don't know that it's because. But I think it's helped because I'm not having to care for an adult and ask about their day.

[Monica Padman]

And my in laws also compromise on decisions.

[Mindy Kaling]

I don't have to compromise at all. I don't have to run anything by anyone. There's never a miscommunication with the nanny because I said bedtime was this time, but actually it's this small things too. My friends are saints. Planning the birthday gifts for your brother in law's wife. And I'm like, are you fucking kidding me? Yeah, I just finished a day of work. I'm not going on fucking shopbop and buying Lindsay a sweatsuit that she likes. I can't be doing that. And so it might change. I'm really open to it.

[Dax Shepard]

I have a famous friend, she'll remain anonymous, but her famous husband said, I need a wife. They had kids and they were both working. And she's like, yeah, I need a wife too.

[Mindy Kaling]

Yeah, exactly.

[Dax Shepard]

We both need a fucking wife.

[Mindy Kaling]

Your relationship, Kristen, is so rare because you both are so successful and you have really fulfilling careers, but you make it work.

[Dax Shepard]

Yeah. But again, I think I was designed to have this in that my mother was a gangster. She was a fucking super ambitious badass and we had to get with the program and I only attracted to people like that. I have to have a pretty good sense that you'll choose something over me to be be interested.

[Mindy Kaling]

That's really rare in men. Is that a generalization? That's correct.

[Dax Shepard]

No, I think it is. I Think most men, by no fault of their own, they grew up in a married house where mom didn't go to work. That was what was modeled. And so for me, that wasn't modeled. The notion that someone would not leave the house and go gather information and bring it back and share it with us seems crazy to me. But we've had a lot of male guests. Most men who are married to gangsters, their moms were gangsters.

[Monica Padman]

Your son's in good shape.

[Mindy Kaling]

Yes, I hope so.

[Dax Shepard]

He'll be able to handle a Mindy and want it.

[Monica Padman]

I think that's the difference.

[Mindy Kaling]

Meanwhile, I want him to marry like a demure woman who just is like, pliable. Yes.

[Dax Shepard]

With the program.

[Monica Padman]

Yeah. Because they need to come over.

[Dax Shepard]

Come to your house for Christmas.

[Monica Padman]

Exactly.

[Mindy Kaling]

Yeah, exactly.

[Monica Padman]

But I think it's really incredible. The idea of doing it by myself really scares me. So I love seeing it.

[Mindy Kaling]

It scared me for the longest time. And then it was Reese Witherspoon. I was getting ready to shoot a movie and it got delayed for some reason and I was, ah, well, I'm gonna just wait. And she was like, do this. Do not wait until it's too late. And no woman wants to tell another woman. TikTok right. It's not feminist. It's kind of a bummer, sure.

[Monica Padman]

But it's the truth.

[Mindy Kaling]

It's the truth. We were in her trailer in a field in New Zealand. She was like, if you want this, you have to do it now, otherwise. And she listed some people that I knew of but not known personally. Some very famous women who waited and then it was too late. It's only possible because I waited till I was 37 to have my daughter because I had disposable income. I have my nanny, I have my dad who helps.

[Dax Shepard]

Does your dad live with you?

[Mindy Kaling]

No, but he lives in West Hollywood.

[Monica Padman]

You wrote the sweetest little post about him. Maybe it was for father's day where he comes and takes care of the kids or, you know, spins in the chair with them.

[Mindy Kaling]

Every single one of my children he has picked up, taken them for like a 45 minute walk every single morning for like the first year of their life. This is a guy grew up in Chennai in like the 50s. And so he came here and he's just gotten on board with everything. He's gotten on board with my lifestyle. He's gotten on board. Bored with three children, no husband. My mom passed away. She was the motor of our family. She was the superstar of our family. She was the one that everyone could individually Relate to the most. And she was gone. And he's like, okay, I gotta be that. I gotta not be judgmental about everything in her life. When he definitely could have been. He met my stepmom, who is amazing. My stepmom is so beloved by my children. Her name is Lynn, born and raised in Santa Monica. A beautiful, nice Jewish lady who met my dad at their apartment complex.

[Monica Padman]

Amazing.

[Dax Shepard]

Oh, wow. That was a meet kid at the apartment complex.

[Mindy Kaling]

Apartment complex. They met two years later, got married in my backyard. So he has gone through so much stuff, make a lot of generalizations about a man of a certain generation and what they're willing to do. And I even make fun of them on my shows about not being flexible. And he has been in complete defiance of those things.

[Monica Padman]

That's beautiful.

[Mindy Kaling]

While still being a traditional Indian guy with, like, an Indian accent. I feel lucky to have him have you.

[Dax Shepard]

I'll just say my experience. So my dad died in 2012. I was going home nonstop to do it all. I think you did the same. Same thing.

[Mindy Kaling]

Yeah.

[Dax Shepard]

He was a dependent the last several years of his life. It was taxing, and we were about to have a child. And when he first died, my truest feeling was relief.

[Mindy Kaling]

Did you mean a financial dependent?

[Dax Shepard]

Yeah.

[Mindy Kaling]

And also emotional?

[Dax Shepard]

Yeah. And the dynamic of if he called, I knew it was to get another thing. It just. It was a hard thing to navigate. And so when he died, initially, I just kind of felt relief. I don't have all the stuff I normally deal with and I'm already busy. I was shooting on Parenthood, just directed a movie that came out. And then about three months later, I had the wave of like, oh, boy, he's gone. And then obviously, throughout the last 11 years of having kids, I go, oh, my God, what? Do you love these girls? I'm, like, heartbroken. He didn't get to meet these little girls. He would have been so in love with them. And it's weird. My missing of him is only incredible increased. It's taken the opposite trajectory, I would have thought.

[Mindy Kaling]

It's remarkable how two things. It doesn't totally get easier when you love someone. But it's also surprised me how my relationship with my mom has continued. In some ways, what you said about the last years of your dad's life, the one thing that TV and film does, I think that is such an injustice, is people are not at their best when they're dying. No, they're at their worst, scared, depressed. But in TV and film, you see things like Little Women and everyone's angelic in the best they've ever been before they die. And it is a lie. My mother was my best friend, and she was a doctor, and she was as stoic as it comes, but she was scared. And from the time she was diagnosed with pancreatic cancer to the time she died was eight months. And she knew it was gonna happen, and she knew exactly the trajectory of it. Cause she was a doctor and she was so frightened and negative. We were all relieved because she wasn't in pain. That feeling actually made me feel so much guilt.

[Dax Shepard]

You've seen it get really, really ugly. And my dad's same, like, diagnosis to death. Four months. There's no treatment for small cell carcinoma. It's not going to happen. But that whole four months, you're like, how ugly will it get? Well, I have to decide at some point. He went out relatively peacefully. I'm relieved about that.

[Mindy Kaling]

My mom, too. It was better that my mom went in eight months than in four years.

[Dax Shepard]

My memories stopped being about the last couple years. And my memories and my dreams, he'd be younger in them. I was able to re remember the.

[Mindy Kaling]

Stuff that came before the illness. That was a challenge for me. I really had to. Because a lot of times I would try not to think about her because it would make me feel too sad. And I was like, well, she wouldn't want that. The thing with the kids, though, there's so much, of course, that's so triggering where you're like, oh, my God, my mom would have loved this. Oh, my God. Now I understand why my mom did this. And to not be able to call her and be like, when I was 12 and such a pain in the ass, and you were just trying your best, and I was being difficult about that. I wish I could just call her and be like, I'm so sorry. Sorry.

[Monica Padman]

As parents, though, you don't need that.

[Dax Shepard]

Yeah, it's true.

[Monica Padman]

You don't need your kids, who are being to in 30 years, call you and be like, remember when I did that? I'm sorry.

[Mindy Kaling]

I don't know. I'm pretty petty. I think I would enjoy it to be like, thank you.

[Monica Padman]

Really hard. I've been waiting. I mean, yes and no. It's nice, but you don't need it.

[Mindy Kaling]

Do you have a thing, Dax, with your daughters? My daughter, she's seven now, and she says stuff that's just chilling to me, where it's so soulful and I wish I could help her. We're transitioning from Legos into bed and the Transitions are hard for her. She wants to keep everything going. My son just can move on. Hey, let's do that. He'll ask once. I'm like, no, and he'll be fine. But my daughter, every night in negotiation, she says to me, when can I be in charge of what I want to do? And I was literally just like, I am so sorry. It's not going to be for a long, long time for seven. But I know that feeling. She always says that she hates eating, and she's like, why do we have to do this three times a day? And I love eating, and I just, like, look forward to my meals, but I wouldn't want to eat the kids food. But she can't eat spicy food or interesting food. But it's so repetitive and boring, and you have no autonomy. And I just sit there and I'm like, I wish I could just let you be Drew Barrymore. Let's go to the club. Let's go do it.

[Dax Shepard]

The street. You want to drive?

[Mindy Kaling]

Let's go.

[Dax Shepard]

I love those moments because of course, I relate, relate so much. I'm like, too. I just wanted, like, when can I call the shots? I don't agree with anything that's happening around me, and I just subject to it. And so I go, oh, I love it. It's maddening. Both of our kids are so stubborn, but I have so much gratitude. They're stubborn. Everyone I know and like and respect and has done the things I've wanted to do. Stubbornness is, I think, an essential ingredient, and I just got to let it happen.

[Mindy Kaling]

Yeah.

[Dax Shepard]

I didn't live in fantasies about girls, as you know, at 12, that fantasy came true. Or 13, but. But I had such rich fantasies about being rich, about being famous. Wealth was something that was so coveted, and it was going to feel a certain way. Being accepted by famous people was going to feel a certain way.

[Mindy Kaling]

I relate to that, too.

[Dax Shepard]

They're a little underwhelming when they happen, or at least they didn't fill the thing. But I have got to say, and people think I'm baby shaming when I say this, but boy, did that thing for me. 10x what I was expecting. Has that been your experience?

[Mindy Kaling]

The answer is yes. I was never a kid person. Are you guys naturally kid people? Do you gravitate towards children?

[Monica Padman]

Specific children, yes. But no. I am not someone who sees a baby at a restaurant and is like, oh, my God, my ovaries are exploding. I've never had that.

[Mindy Kaling]

And neither did I.

[Dax Shepard]

None of them have ever exploded.

[Monica Padman]

Well, except for Delta. Delta's the only their kid.

[Dax Shepard]

And Carmelo Anthony.

[Monica Padman]

Yeah, obviously. And Mindy's invitation to Dunsburg. But their kid. When I first. I first came in, I started nannying for them. That's how I started. Here is their second kid. And I babysat a lot. That's how I made money. But that is the first kid that I thought I understand what people are talking about, where they're just drawn. It doesn't really matter if they're mean to you. You still love them.

[Mindy Kaling]

That's so nice that your daughter.

[Monica Padman]

It's a very special relate.

[Mindy Kaling]

I feel very nice.

[Dax Shepard]

Yeah. She's gonna name her daughter Monica.

[Monica Padman]

She's already declared she's my sovereign.

[Dax Shepard]

But those can be powerful. Favreau to put him on blast. When I was doing the movie Zathura and he directed it, I was around his family a lot. And his daughter Madeline, we would go trick or treating, and she would ride on my shoulders the whole time. Like, we were just. Were in love. That made me go like, oh, I must have a Madeline before I die. I got to have this little girl on my shoulders.

[Mindy Kaling]

I never had that dynamic. I also babysat for money when I lived in Brooklyn right around when I was doing Mountain Ben. I liked children, and it was a good way to make money, but I didn't have that feeling. And then with my kids, it really made me understand my mother, because my mother, literally an obgyn, but not a kid person.

[Dax Shepard]

Right.

[Mindy Kaling]

But was obsessed with us. And I was like, I get it. It unlocked a love of children. I now love children. Like, all I want to do is when you or Kristen Post photos, I'm like, I want that emoji to be moved. I want to see their pretty little face.

[Dax Shepard]

When I see babies, I do run over. I'm like, who's this new person that just got to planet Earth? What's going on with you?

[Mindy Kaling]

And it's so sweet. And I didn't think that about. About myself, but I'm surprised how much the same person I am before, too. Still competitive, still weird pettiness, still chips on my shoulders and all that. That did not go away. I just love and want to protect children. When I see movies that have children in them, I now am way more affected by them. Yeah, there's that Dev Patel movie, Lion. Did you see that?

[Monica Padman]

I didn't see that.

[Mindy Kaling]

I mean, just anything about children on their own or in peril or anything like that, I can't take it. But that relationship I have with these kids has been so unbelievably profound. And to be able to have a family that I made myself. And there's just the four of us in our family staring at each other. We go to our little vacations. We're going to Montana, and I'm waiting in the river with them.

[Monica Padman]

You're like, I did it.

[Mindy Kaling]

You did it. We all have those friends, male or female, where they don't feel complete unless they have a partner. And I'm not judgmental about that because I felt like I used to be that way. Something happened where I don't need it, but I'm open to it. JLO has been in so many relationships in the time that I've been single. I don't know her at all, but I've been like, she's a romantic.

[Dax Shepard]

Oh, yeah.

[Monica Padman]

She's a love addict.

[Mindy Kaling]

She says when she got back together, Ben, she was like, we must do a documentary about it. It fuels her.

[Dax Shepard]

Let's revisit. When your daughter's two, maybe we'll revisit. We'll revisit. Let's not get a permanent. Let's not get a tattoo.

[Mindy Kaling]

I'll save my tattoo.

[Dax Shepard]

Okay, well, we talked about running point. I just want to say I watched it first of all. As I said, I got so excited in the credits because Mike Weaver, I couldn't love more. I love that you're writing it with Ike and Dave. I love Jeannie Buss. I love the story. Kate's an ex girlfriend, so that's complicated. We're ex lovers.

[Mindy Kaling]

Was this a serious long term relationship?

[Dax Shepard]

No, it was a summer romance right before I met Kristen.

[Mindy Kaling]

Hot.

[Dax Shepard]

Three months, four months, but it left a mark.

[Monica Padman]

You really remember that as a relationship?

[Mindy Kaling]

Going to the Halloween party, were you part of that?

[Dax Shepard]

I was. I was friends with her brother Oliver. I'm trying to think of the order of how, you know, what it was. She was playing poker when she was still married at Oliver's house. And I was there one night and I put on the show of my life for her.

[Mindy Kaling]

Who wouldn't? She's a very appealing woman.

[Dax Shepard]

Yes. And I think at the time I was probably 30 and she was 25, best performance ever. And I knew, oh, she kind of likes me. She's married, but she likes who I. And then, yeah, I got invited to a Halloween party. And then a couple years later, a year later or something, she was divorced. I was single for the first time in eight and a half years. And we went to a dinner at a restaurant with friends, and then we had a Romance. She's been on and we've discussed it publicly.

[Monica Padman]

It's not like a secret.

[Mindy Kaling]

I love a sexy summer pass with Kate Hudson.

[Dax Shepard]

Yeah. There was a lot of travel. I got to meet Kurt and Goldie. It was very exciting.

[Monica Padman]

Do you know who was after her?

[Mindy Kaling]

Who?

[Monica Padman]

Ashley Olsen.

[Mindy Kaling]

What?

[Monica Padman]

I know. And then Kristen. Look at this record.

[Mindy Kaling]

Well, the Ashley Olsen's so cool too, because she's so elusive. Exactly. I mean, I'm obsessed with fashion wise.

[Dax Shepard]

Are you obsessed with her? Because Monica is obsessed with the Row.

[Mindy Kaling]

I'm obsessed with the Row. I think because they're so out of culture, I actually haven't been able to become obsessed with them because I do so little of that, though. But the row is expensive for me and I'm rich.

[Monica Padman]

I know. I know.

[Mindy Kaling]

I. I know. I look at the row and it's like a sitcom. I'm like, is there an extra zero on that?

[Monica Padman]

I know.

[Dax Shepard]

Is this someone's telephone number and expensive?

[Mindy Kaling]

And then you find people that you deem yourself to be more rich than who are wearing the Row. That's you and me.

[Monica Padman]

You are definitely more rich than me. But I don't have three children and.

[Mindy Kaling]

You'Re head to toe in the row.

[Monica Padman]

I'm often head to row now.

[Mindy Kaling]

I'm like, I know you guys are doing well. What if she's like old Indian money?

[Dax Shepard]

She doesn't have old Indian money. She has nouveau rich podcast.

[Monica Padman]

I'm waiting for that windfall of the old Indian money to appear.

[Mindy Kaling]

He's super talented. Trevor Noah. On the news, they were like, he just purchased a house for $28 million in Brentwood or something. This was three years ago. I think it said he's like one of four homes. And I was like, damn Daily show money. And then they're like, no, no, no. It's a st. Stand up.

[Dax Shepard]

These standups are making tens of millions of dollars.

[Mindy Kaling]

They earn it.

[Dax Shepard]

They do.

[Mindy Kaling]

They do many shows now. I'll say this. The thing I should have done if I wasn't a comedy writer is finance. I love making money. I love knowing about people's money. I love the gilded age in New.

[Dax Shepard]

York, the patrician class.

[Mindy Kaling]

I think it's great. I think everyone on the front of their house should say how they bought it. If it was through their money, their wives, they inherited it because other loved it too much. Like Trevor Noah. I'm going to tell him this if I see him this Oscar season at a party. He should write stand up Tour furnished by daily show money.

[Dax Shepard]

62 dates at 10,000 seats a venue.

[Mindy Kaling]

I think when you don't have family money and you aren't from old money. I mean, literally, my bio and my Instagram is new money. I think it's fascinating.

[Monica Padman]

No, me too. We have to talk about this because I wonder if this is an Indian thing. Maybe a little bit. Because there's a big backlash in America against people with money.

[Dax Shepard]

Oh, yeah. There's like almost going to be an agrarian revolution.

[Monica Padman]

Everyone hates billionaires right now. They're like, you're not relatable if you're rich. And I thought the goal was to become one of these people. I grew up hearing be successful. That means that.

[Mindy Kaling]

Yeah, we have a different playback, I think.

[Monica Padman]

I think so. I'm not on board with hating. I mean, look, I don't like everything all these billionaires are.

[Mindy Kaling]

Billionaires are a different thing. And none of them are paying taxes. Taxes, they sort of are exempt from the daily indignities the rest of us have to do, which is not fair.

[Monica Padman]

It's made them all weird, to be fair.

[Mindy Kaling]

Yes, it's made them all weird. In my 20s and 30s, you would hear, did you know Olivia Munn invested in uber in the first round and now she has $27 billion? And you're like, why isn't anyone inviting me? And then the four things that I do invest in make famously zero.

[Dax Shepard]

Sure, sure, sure.

[Mindy Kaling]

I'd like to think that I'm only obsessed with money and how people get it. Because I think it would be so nice. Nice to have so much with my children that I could just go teach. I'd love to go teach TV writing or teach Latin or one of these other things that's interesting to me. I could travel.

[Dax Shepard]

I'm obsessed with it too. And I admit all the time, I'm a very greedy pig. Okay, well, I want to make sure we talked about running Point enough as we discussed. I saw it. It's great. I blew through three of them intending to only watch one. That's really nice and I love everyone in it.

[Mindy Kaling]

Justin Throw is very funny in it. And a cool guy.

[Dax Shepard]

He's so handsome.

[Mindy Kaling]

He is a great looking guy. Guy. Great body.

[Dax Shepard]

Oh, beautiful.

[Mindy Kaling]

But I think he's comparably funny to.

[Dax Shepard]

His looks and smart. I'm friends with him.

[Mindy Kaling]

Okay. I don't know him really. So I gave birth on Sunday and the show started shooting on Monday.

[Dax Shepard]

Okay, okay. So you missed the table read.

[Mindy Kaling]

I came a week later and I met him on set and I was watching dailies, obviously, but we had almost like a Parasocial relationship. Because I'd seen all the dailies and I obviously know of him and the way that you guys talk about him and spotless guys talks about him, everything. But I have only had a couple short conversations with him. But he's very funny.

[Dax Shepard]

He's very, very funny. And he's very well read.

[Mindy Kaling]

Oh, I didn't know that.

[Monica Padman]

Oh, yes.

[Dax Shepard]

He is tangentially related to Henry David Throw.

[Mindy Kaling]

Really?

[Dax Shepard]

He comes from good stock.

[Mindy Kaling]

He's the opposite of what he's not. New money.

[Monica Padman]

I know.

[Dax Shepard]

And Kate's great. We love seeing her do this. You were already obsessed with her as a rom com person.

[Mindy Kaling]

Yeah. She's good at portraying anger in a way that it's still sort of palatable. Networks don't like when women scream at other people, especially their employees. They're just like, nobody wants to see that. And yet she can do it in a way where you're like, let that billionaire get what she wants.

[Dax Shepard]

Yeah.

[Mindy Kaling]

It's funny because I'd worked on two shows with more unknown casts. I'd done College Girls, which has, like, amazing cast, but were relatively unknown. And then never have I ever. Where we really were trying to find people. And it was kind of fun to do this show where she was just, like, a pro. A pro.

[Dax Shepard]

Yeah.

[Mindy Kaling]

And Justin and Jay and Max Greenfield. Everyone had just done it.

[Monica Padman]

Yes.

[Dax Shepard]

Yes.

[Mindy Kaling]

And every show is challenging for different reasons, but it was great to work with. The median age was, like, 38 or higher. That was fun. I hadn't done that in a while.

[Dax Shepard]

Yeah. They know not to block anyone's light. They know where to find the camera. They actually can show up and pretty much give you what you want pretty darn quickly.

[Mindy Kaling]

Yeah. And she's just old school. She's probably had to see some really bleak shit as an actress coming up at the time. She came up just a pro.

[Monica Padman]

Yeah.

[Mindy Kaling]

She's not getting a sense of identity herself from her workplace. She's just like, I know who I am.

[Dax Shepard]

That's her job. She's good at it.

[Mindy Kaling]

And Brenda Song is such a pro, too. I mean, she was a child actor who came in and super funny.

[Monica Padman]

So great.

[Dax Shepard]

Ike's dad is in it, which delights me because he was so good in Jury Duty. And I'm like, this guy, I can't believe he was a judge. He was born to ask.

[Mindy Kaling]

I'll tell you what's funny about Egg's dad's being in it is. Cause we really wanted him to come play this part.

[Dax Shepard]

He's the family lawyer which is great of an old school.

[Monica Padman]

He was a judge.

[Dax Shepard]

Multi generational.

[Monica Padman]

Was he a judge or a lawyer in real life?

[Mindy Kaling]

In real life, he was a lawyer. He played a judge on Jury Duty, and now he's playing a lawyer.

[Monica Padman]

Okay, got it.

[Mindy Kaling]

But he had been on Jury Duty, which was a very hot show. I loved it.

[Dax Shepard]

Oh, us too.

[Mindy Kaling]

And he was very good on it. I think he was one of the best parts of the show.

[Dax Shepard]

Absolutely.

[Mindy Kaling]

So for this one, we were like, you know, it'd be great as if your dad can play this part. But my knowledge of him is like the guy I used to have Thanksgiving with before I had children. And then we heard through casting that his agent's like, they have a counter. And I was like, what?

[Dax Shepard]

He's a lawyer.

[Monica Padman]

Good for him.

[Dax Shepard]

Well, Mindy, we waited a long time and I'm so happy for.

[Mindy Kaling]

I hope it lived up. It was so fun, you guys.

[Dax Shepard]

We love you. We do so much.

[Mindy Kaling]

Really nice. I loved being here. I'm really such fans. I love what you get out of the people you talk to. It's really incredible. I know. You've done 800 episodes.

[Monica Padman]

You might be 800. No, we're past that.

[Mindy Kaling]

Past that.

[Dax Shepard]

864. 864. Those are good numbers. They're all even. They're all divisible by two.

[Monica Padman]

Yeah, we like that.

[Dax Shepard]

Four, three, two. That's nice. That's not good. Four, three, two. Well, you're never social, so I'll never see you out in public. So I guess I'm glad that I got. Yes.

[Mindy Kaling]

Have me on again.

[Dax Shepard]

We'll have to have you on for our dates. Truly an honor. Everyone, check out Running Point. I only had to watch one and I watched three. I love it. Oh, the other thing. Your mom name is Swatty?

[Mindy Kaling]

Yeah.

[Dax Shepard]

So we just learned this term. People in England say swatty for nerd.

[Monica Padman]

It means like, you're.

[Dax Shepard]

Yes.

[Mindy Kaling]

Oh, that's so.

[Dax Shepard]

And it was an Indian English woman who explained.

[Mindy Kaling]

No, I didn't know that.

[Dax Shepard]

It means you really sweat. You work hard.

[Mindy Kaling]

That describes me exactly. Swatty to the cor.

[Dax Shepard]

Swatty through and through. You bleed swatty.

[Mindy Kaling]

I do.

[Monica Padman]

There you go.

[Dax Shepard]

All right. Well, we love you. Thank you for coming and come back so we can see you again.

[Mindy Kaling]

Thanks for having having me, guys. Fun. He is an arm care expert, but.

[Dax Shepard]

He makes mistakes all the time. Thank God Monica's here. She's got to let him have the facts. We've got a bit of a role reversal happening. Let me remove my spectacles.

[Monica Padman]

Let me put my spectacles on.

[Dax Shepard]

Oh, okay.

[Monica Padman]

Cuz you said we have a role reversal.

[Dax Shepard]

We do have a role reversal. Usually you're dressed quite warm and I'm dressed in a chilly like. No, you're dressed very warm and I'm dressed very scantily.

[Monica Padman]

Yeah, you're in a jacket, which is weird because it's hot out.

[Dax Shepard]

It's a hoodie. I don't know if I'm going to say it's a jacket.

[Monica Padman]

Oh, you think that's. They're different. That's really, really piecing.

[Dax Shepard]

You don't think a sweatshirt and a jacket are different?

[Monica Padman]

I think a sweatshirt and a jacket are different, but I think a hoodie is.

[Dax Shepard]

A jacket is a Jack. Cuz it has a zipper.

[Mindy Kaling]

Yeah.

[Dax Shepard]

So if something has a zipper, you upgrade it to jacket.

[Monica Padman]

Jacket.

[Dax Shepard]

If your uncle Jack climbed up on the roof of the house and the ladder fell over, would you help your Uncle Jack off?

[Monica Padman]

Oh my God. Why did you say that?

[Dax Shepard]

Have you ever heard that one?

[Monica Padman]

No.

[Dax Shepard]

There was a lot of gold in the hallways of Spring Mills Elementary. That's from way back in 83, I think. Wow.

[Monica Padman]

Yeah, that got me good. I thought it was gonna be a riddle about a zipper.

[Dax Shepard]

Yeah. It's just Jack. Somehow Jack got in my.

[Monica Padman]

Yeah.

[Dax Shepard]

Vocab jacket. Correct.

[Monica Padman]

That's why.

[Dax Shepard]

Fun update from armchairs. It turns out there's a lot of armchairs that are very, very in the know when it comes to Eames chairs.

[Monica Padman]

Okay, great.

[Dax Shepard]

That doesn't surprise me. People are that it's like if you're into architecture, you're probably into Eames chairs.

[Monica Padman]

Yeah.

[Dax Shepard]

So now I do want to correct one person. Like hate to disappoint you. This doesn't disappoint me. It's worth worse. Okay, so DAX isn't. Is an acronym for the thing Bill Gates made for the chair. For the Eames chair.

[Monica Padman]

Okay.

[Dax Shepard]

So I can tell you what it stands for if you're interested.

[Monica Padman]

Yep.

[Dax Shepard]

Okay. So it's an abbreviation or an acronym for Dining D Armchair A on X base.

[Monica Padman]

Oh, Dining armchair on X Bass. Great.

[Dax Shepard]

But as we talked about DAX from the book, the adventures was also so an acronym. Initials.

[Monica Padman]

Right.

[Dax Shepard]

So that's great. I think that's even better.

[Mindy Kaling]

Sure.

[Monica Padman]

It doesn't take away.

[Dax Shepard]

I don't think it took away from the sim at all. I think it made it more semi.

[Monica Padman]

Sure. I think we should. Do you want to tell people what happened to us?

[Dax Shepard]

When?

[Monica Padman]

Friday. The robbery.

[Dax Shepard]

Oh, yes. Yeah.

[Monica Padman]

We had a huge event happen to us.

[Dax Shepard]

Yes. We recorded On Thursday. And then I went out to eat with some friends that were in town. Oh, Ken Goldberg, previous guest. Ding, ding, ding. Roboticist. And this lovely family. So we went out to mess hall, met this great armchair. I don't know if I've told you about this armchair. There's an armchair. And I see him on Instagram, too. He has autism. And he left a note for me at the restaurant, knowing I go there sometimes.

[Monica Padman]

Oh, wow.

[Dax Shepard]

So I got this beautiful note for him, and then I wrote him a note back. And then I actually met him that night because he happened to be there. So come home. Whatever. No big deal. That's Thursday night. Friday. Previous guest, Seth Green comes over with his beautiful daughter and wife.

[Monica Padman]

Previous guest.

[Dax Shepard]

It was a weekend of previous guests, and we're all in the yard playing with the baby. The baby's way too cute. I want you to meet her so bad. She's so talkative, and she's not even three. And she was hugging me, and she said, give you a big hug. She goes, I love him.

[Monica Padman]

Oh.

[Dax Shepard]

You. I love him. I was melting. I was a puddle for, like, three hours playing with this little girl. Oh, my God, the red hair.

[Monica Padman]

Little sad red hair. Green eyes.

[Dax Shepard]

Red hair cares.

[Mindy Kaling]

Green eyes.

[Dax Shepard]

Fuck. I don't know. Okay, anyways, the. Clara got thirsty. We were in the yard. So I was like, I'll just run into the studio and grab some water out of the fridge. Go to grab some water. The fridge. And I'm like, huh? Rob took all of the cameras out of the studio this weekend to be clean. No, he's moonlighting on another job, and he's just. He's embezzling, basically. He's just taking the equipment I've bought, and he's got side projects and a side hustle.

[Monica Padman]

Well, he bought with your money.

[Dax Shepard]

I mean, that still means I bought him. Well, okay, so.

[Monica Padman]

Potato, potato.

[Dax Shepard]

Also, I need to say earlier in the day, this is relevant. It's very relevant, actually. I was. I took a long bike ride. I pull him into my driveway. Carly's pulling out. She's got the window down. She's like, do you want me to get. And I'm like, what? And then I. I slowly start turning around in my bike. Bicycle. And then I'm, like, going, like, half a mile an hour while I'm trying to talk to her, right? And I have the clip on bike shoes, in which I'm still an amateur at, right? And so I have this moment where I'm about to fall over, but I can't pull my foot off the pedal to stop. So I just fell over like a sheet of plywood. I just felt it was so. It was the stupidest fall of my life. Just imagine being on a bike and letting yourself go completely 90°.

[Monica Padman]

Wait, it hurt?

[Dax Shepard]

No. It wasn't nearly as bad as a skating accident on my birthday. Oh, yeah.

[Monica Padman]

Okay.

[Dax Shepard]

Right. Thumbs up.

[Monica Padman]

Yeah.

[Dax Shepard]

Fall guy.

[Monica Padman]

Yeah.

[Dax Shepard]

So I broke my phone when I hit the ground. I guess I hit hard enough that between my thigh and the cobblestone, I broke my phone.

[Monica Padman]

Right?

[Dax Shepard]

So I'm like, oh, yeah, that sucks. I got to add, I'm driving to the mall, which I don't normally do. This is like, it's going to be a three hour ordeal, right? And I can't get my phone to turn on. I've tried every protocol. I've held all the buttons for all these different ways. And I'm just, like, praying that I can get a new phone and they can transfer everything at the Genius Bar. And I get there, and of course the woman turns my phone on. It turns right on.

[Monica Padman]

Oh, yeah. Oh, my.

[Dax Shepard]

I told her, I compare it to when you've been sick for, like, two weeks. You finally decide to go to the doctor, and in the exam room, you feel wonderful. It's over, right now that I'm at the doctor.

[Monica Padman]

Yeah.

[Dax Shepard]

So that was happening. Now cut back to in here. Realizing none of the cameras are here. I can't call Rob because my phone is broken and it's transferring for nine hours. So then I have Carly call Rob. I say to Rob, let's act it out. Rob. Hey, what's going on?

[Mindy Kaling]

Not much. What's going on?

[Dax Shepard]

Hey, did you take all the cameras out of the studio?

[Monica Padman]

Nope.

[Dax Shepard]

You don't have the cameras? No, definitely not. Okay, well, we were robbed. Oh.

[Mindy Kaling]

What else did they take?

[Dax Shepard]

I don't really know. I just discovered all. So whatever. Yeah, that's the conversation.

[Monica Padman]

Rob.

[Dax Shepard]

And then I asked Rob, will you come take. Take stock? I don't know what. All gear is in Rob's zone.

[Monica Padman]

Yeah.

[Dax Shepard]

So Rob comes over now. Now. This is what sucks. Now I'm really kind of distracted for the rest of my play date with Seth's daughter. Which is a bummer because all of them, right? I wanna. I wanna be right in the thing.

[Monica Padman]

I wanna be present.

[Dax Shepard]

But I'm like, when did that. When did this happen?

[Monica Padman]

Yes.

[Dax Shepard]

Also, some weird thing happened where when I came home on Thursday night from the dinner with Ken Goldberg, I noticed that my. My trailer door was open, which I didn't understand. That was like. That was just, you know, you notice little things.

[Monica Padman]

Yep.

[Dax Shepard]

Shut that. And then I was like, okay, well, I. Well, it happened between Thursday when we recorded and now. Okay, so I'm gonna presume I'm gonna start with when it starts getting dark last night. So.

[Mindy Kaling]

Right.

[Dax Shepard]

Half hour after we went to go to dinner, two dudes.

[Monica Padman]

You have cameras, basically.

[Dax Shepard]

I have cameras.

[Monica Padman]

You're able to now see.

[Dax Shepard]

Yes. Now, that's its own. That takes a long time. What camera am I looking at? I don't know where they came at. On. On the property.

[Monica Padman]

Yeah.

[Dax Shepard]

Waste a good hour looking at footage from. I don't see anything, but then I see that they have jumped over the pedestrian gate. They're in full masks. And then they went up into my gym. I'm watching this now all on all the cameras. They go into Kristen's office. They come out, they go up into the attic. They go down into the studio, they take all the cameras, they head out. It's 10 minutes. That's it. Start to finish. And the very frustrating thing is, on camera, I see them. They exit the house with all this gear, and they have two lime scooters parked against the wall.

[Monica Padman]

That's so weird to me.

[Dax Shepard]

Full masks. Okay. Not like fucking Covid masks. Covid masks. I'm talking full masks. One of our neighbors pulls in, headlights bright on these two guys with full mask, holding a bunch of bulls. Stolen cameras, loading it on a bird scooter. And they just cruise by.

[Monica Padman]

Yeah.

[Dax Shepard]

And they don't call anybody. So I was a little bit like, oh, my God.

[Monica Padman]

Yeah.

[Dax Shepard]

If I roll in, I see I'm out of the car. It's on.

[Monica Padman]

Oh.

[Dax Shepard]

Oh. Anyways, that don't. I don't recommend that to whoever that was. But.

[Monica Padman]

But I would have called the police. I wouldn't have got out of the car.

[Dax Shepard]

I would have called the police, and I would have followed them on the scooters. In a car, they can't outrun you. I would have stayed with them while I was on the phone with 911 cameras, I think is what they had lots of expensive cameras.

[Monica Padman]

You have to be careful in these situations.

[Dax Shepard]

The thing that I find rough about that, again, I was like, you can afford to replace the cameras. It sucks. They're expensive.

[Monica Padman]

It really sucks.

[Dax Shepard]

Yeah, it really sucks. It is quite an expensive ordeal. You can't report it to your insurance, or my insurance will go up over time. That doesn't justify, you know, so that's its own racket.

[Monica Padman]

I don't even understand insurance. Insurance, really?

[Dax Shepard]

I don't think anyone does. But the obsession of, like, are they coming back?

[Monica Padman]

I know.

[Dax Shepard]

Why wouldn't they come back? And now.

[Monica Padman]

Please don't come back, guys.

[Dax Shepard]

I'm now like, well, I'm gonna have to be watching this like crazy. I'm gonna have to get loud alarms over there. I'm gonna have to do a lot of stuff now. And I think that's the thing I resent is it's just the anxiety of. Are they coming back?

[Monica Padman]

Rob, when you got here, did you check? Because, I mean, I'm shocked.

[Dax Shepard]

They don't want our memorabilia.

[Monica Padman]

They didn't take Le Bertie.

[Dax Shepard]

Oh, well, they.

[Monica Padman]

They made a huge mistake.

[Dax Shepard]

They slept on a gym. So here's the blessing, though. I wouldn't have gone in to the studio all weekend. Why would I come in here? This is our place of work. And it was the weekend, and we had a really great, wonderful guest on Monday, and we would have arrived with no cameras.

[Monica Padman]

Yes.

[Dax Shepard]

So, again, I couldn't help but be grateful that I at least discovered it on Friday. Rob then had the. A weekend of his life trying to track.

[Monica Padman]

Yeah. Went on a real adventure. Yes. Oh, man.

[Dax Shepard]

I hate knowing they were in my gym and stuff. I hate it.

[Monica Padman]

I'm sure it feels so violated.

[Dax Shepard]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Monica Padman]

Anyway, anywho, it's really bad.

[Dax Shepard]

It was a bummer.

[Monica Padman]

Yeah.

[Dax Shepard]

Now let's talk about. About victories.

[Monica Padman]

Sure.

[Dax Shepard]

Oh, I flew to Vegas on Saturday.

[Monica Padman]

All right.

[Dax Shepard]

That's worth reporting. Okay. Our sweet best boy, Jimmy Kimmel, was being honored by this great charity that works with Cleveland Clinic, that does work on Alzheimer's and Parkinson's neurological disorders. And it provides a ton of support for the caregivers of all these people who have these conditions. 11 million people are caregiving. So went to Vegas just for the day. And did I went gambling with Kristen. And I wouldn't be shocked if we get barred from the mgm. I don't know that they'll let us back at the tables.

[Monica Padman]

Why?

[Dax Shepard]

Because we put it to them so hard. We won $225.

[Mindy Kaling]

Wow.

[Dax Shepard]

So cool. Probably will get barred.

[Monica Padman]

Do people get barred for doing so well? They can't, right?

[Dax Shepard]

They do at certain games. Yeah. Yes. In fact, it's in Nate Silver's book. So the people are really good at counting cards, and. Which is not illegal, but the casino has the option of denying you to play there for any reason they want.

[Monica Padman]

Right.

[Dax Shepard]

So they will notice someone's counting cards in a single deck or double deck blackjack, and then they will not allow Them to gamble anymore.

[Monica Padman]

Got it.

[Dax Shepard]

So a lot of these people. Yeah. And ultimately, I think there was the Harvard. There was some Harvard thing where they. Over the course of 10 years, they won millions of dollars.

[Monica Padman]

Oh, wow.

[Dax Shepard]

With a system. Again, not illegal. They weren't. Weren't they tap in any devices or anything? It was just all math. But they all. Ultimately, all of them were barred from all these casinos.

[Monica Padman]

Yeah.

[Mindy Kaling]

Yeah.

[Dax Shepard]

So, okay, Sunday, Sunday. Sunday, Sunday. Sunday.

[Monica Padman]

Sunday was the SAG Awards. It went really, really well. Kristen killed.

[Dax Shepard]

It went perfect.

[Monica Padman]

It went perfect. She did such a good, good job. Everyone hit all their beats.

[Mindy Kaling]

Yeah.

[Monica Padman]

And it was great.

[Dax Shepard]

It was a very well run, tight show.

[Monica Padman]

It was.

[Dax Shepard]

I was impressed. Yeah. That motherfucker. Straight live.

[Monica Padman]

I know. That was scary. Yeah, yeah. That part.

[Dax Shepard]

There was only a couple hiccups and had nothing to do with anyone's writing.

[Monica Padman]

Yes. There was a couple technical things.

[Dax Shepard]

Oh, there were technical things.

[Monica Padman]

Well, like, there was like a sound. There was like a little bit of. On Adam's bit. The sound was out at the very beginning. And I was annoyed by that, of course.

[Dax Shepard]

Rough.

[Monica Padman]

But it happened.

[Dax Shepard]

That's for a live show. That's not too bad.

[Monica Padman]

Not too bad. No, it went really smooth. I was very happy with it, and I think Kristen was, too, so.

[Dax Shepard]

Yes. And I was backstage with the children's.

[Monica Padman]

Yeah, you came.

[Dax Shepard]

You had a great dress.

[Monica Padman]

Oh, thank you. I did.

[Dax Shepard]

I noticed on your post you had like a thousand comments. People were exploding. Well, I would argue some spraying.

[Monica Padman]

Well, we don't know about that.

[Dax Shepard]

Well, I'm pretty. When you got a thousand comments.

[Monica Padman]

We don't know. But it was. Yeah. Remember when I was in my gala era and I was buying all those dresses and you were in search of a gala? Yeah. I needed a gala to go to, to wear all these dresses. I didn't go to any real galas, so I had some dresses. I was proud of myself because I do have a contact at Valentino. And I had reached out and sent, hey, you know, I'm writing for Quizlet for the SAG Awards, so I'll be there. And I'm gonna do the carpet. Can I borrow something? And she was like, yes. So she had sent me some stuff.

[Mindy Kaling]

Oh, you got to borrow that?

[Monica Padman]

Well, no. So she had sent me some stuff, and it was all great, but I did contrary action.

[Dax Shepard]

Yes.

[Monica Padman]

And I decided to wear something in my closet that I have not worn.

[Dax Shepard]

Oh, okay.

[Monica Padman]

Which was this dress from the gala air. I was like, this dress has been sitting here for a long time. It needs to Be worn.

[Dax Shepard]

Yeah. She needs to go out in town a little bit.

[Monica Padman]

Yeah. And so I wore it and I was very happy with it. And Jenny did my hair and Simone did my makeup, and.

[Dax Shepard]

What a team. I want to shout out everyone that works in this whole organism that is something like this. Marcel, publicist, who I love, who's been around for 20 years. A Swedish boy alive. Jenny doing hair.

[Monica Padman]

Yeah.

[Dax Shepard]

Best vibe possible. And best and best in the biz.

[Monica Padman]

Yeah.

[Dax Shepard]

Simone, makeup, incredible. Known her forever. Who am I leaving? Anna's there crushing. You're there crushing Nicole style. Nicole is styling the out of it.

[Monica Padman]

It's incredible.

[Dax Shepard]

Everyone just works so calm. Like, it's such a. Well, sometimes I'm. I like, I'll be doing a talk show as a guest, and I'm walking to my green room and I look in the other people's green room, and sometimes I look in and it's just fucking madness. Right. It's like people panicking.

[Monica Padman]

Yeah.

[Dax Shepard]

That energy is rough for me. That's not the vibe. So just well done, though. The whole team.

[Monica Padman]

The whole team. It was really fun because I did this for Kristen in 2018, so it was very deja vu. Like, we are in the same room, the same auditorium, all of that stuff, which was really fun. Same people. We were looking at old pictures. There's like all these Polaroids of Simone and Jenny and Nicole and me and Kristen and Marcel. And it was really funny and weird. Full circle. Because when we did it last time, we had maybe we were about to start this show, this podcast.

[Dax Shepard]

We had started, but. Yeah.

[Monica Padman]

Had we?

[Dax Shepard]

Yeah, because if it was this time, this was last weekend and we had our anniversary two weeks before that or a week before that.

[Monica Padman]

Well, I don't know. The.

[Dax Shepard]

And we recorded before we launched.

[Monica Padman]

Yeah, I'm saying brand new. Yeah, it was in January 20, 2018. Yeah.

[Dax Shepard]

Okay, then you're dead. Right.

[Monica Padman]

Anyway, we hadn't started this, or we had maybe started some recording, but we weren't a podcast yet, really. And so sometimes you get those rare moments where you're in the exact same place, but your life is. Your life is so different. And you can really reflect on that because of the circumstances. And it was. It was nice the, like, my growth. But yeah, so it was. It was special to have that. And it did remind. Remind me that that was such a fun job, like, being around all those people doing that and the energy and. Yeah, it was. It was nice to sort of drop back into that and also see Anna in this position that I was in. And her just like killing it, crushing it. Yeah, it was. It was really. It was really nice.

[Dax Shepard]

Sweet night. I was happy for all the ladies.

[Monica Padman]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. She. Kristen did such a good job.

[Dax Shepard]

Oh, God. She can also got. She can. She is so calm and confident. It's boggling.

[Monica Padman]

Yeah.

[Dax Shepard]

She's so chill and not in a hurry.

[Monica Padman]

Nope.

[Dax Shepard]

She's like a great comedian that's not in a hurry. Stand up. It's impressive.

[Monica Padman]

Very, very impressive.

[Dax Shepard]

Okay, here's my crazy moment. So we're leaving, and I'm carrying tons of bags and stuff and I've got the kids in tow, and we're going, going to the car, and I literally bump into. Meet. Cute. My biggest crush, Timothy Chalamet.

[Monica Padman]

Yes. Timothy was. He ducked into our area for a minute to take a phone call. And I walked in and he was just standing right there, which was quite fun.

[Dax Shepard]

Yeah. He was hanging in the hallway with his mom when I bumped into him.

[Monica Padman]

Yeah.

[Dax Shepard]

And I go, hey, first of all, he's much taller than I was expecting.

[Monica Padman]

He is. Yeah.

[Dax Shepard]

Tall boy. Oh, he's so dreamy. And I go, oh, my God, I'm so horny for you. And he goes, oh, thank you. And I just. I can't believe how into your career I am. I'm following it like I'm a teenager. And he's like, oh, my God. Thanks, dude. I tap danced away from that interaction. I was Smitt in.

[Monica Padman]

Nice.

[Dax Shepard]

I loved his speech. We talked on the way home about it. Kristen was like, it's weird to hear someone admit they want to be great and they want to be like Brando and all these people. And I go, but why? If you're a snowboarder, you would say, I. I want to be the next Sha White or I want to be Jordan. That's. That's what you should. If you're entering into an endeavor.

[Monica Padman]

Yeah.

[Dax Shepard]

As your main focus of your life. Yeah. You should damn well be trying to get to the greatest it's ever been done.

[Monica Padman]

Totally.

[Dax Shepard]

I loved it. I thought.

[Mindy Kaling]

Yeah.

[Dax Shepard]

Why is everyone acting like they don't want to be that? That's awesome.

[Mindy Kaling]

Yeah.

[Monica Padman]

Yeah. I agree.

[Mindy Kaling]

Yeah.

[Dax Shepard]

This just goes to show, when you love somebody, whatever they say, you kind of like it.

[Mindy Kaling]

No, I agree.

[Monica Padman]

It's honest to say. I want. I mean, I think.

[Dax Shepard]

What.

[Monica Padman]

People might be confused. I don't know. Maybe they think he's talking about fame, but he is.

[Dax Shepard]

He's not. He would have said Bert Reynolds or. Sure. Ben Affleck.

[Monica Padman]

Sure.

[Dax Shepard]

You know, ultra famous.

[Monica Padman]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. So that Was exciting.

[Dax Shepard]

Great night. Fun.

[Monica Padman]

Great night. Great night.

[Dax Shepard]

Great, great night. Stay tuned for more Armchair expert if you dare.

[Monica Padman]

Okay. This is for Mindy.

[Dax Shepard]

Mindy.

[Monica Padman]

So exciting.

[Dax Shepard]

Did you enjoy listening back while you're editing?

[Monica Padman]

Yeah.

[Dax Shepard]

Did it help reconfirm it had happened?

[Mindy Kaling]

Yeah.

[Monica Padman]

We have been, we have been waiting for so long. Some people on my post, I posted a picture that was teasing an episode and it was this one. Some people were right.

[Dax Shepard]

They, they guessed Mindy.

[Monica Padman]

Yeah.

[Dax Shepard]

Yeah.

[Monica Padman]

So that was exciting. Okay, really quick. Jordan, food poisoned. Was he? Food poisoned?

[Dax Shepard]

Was he?

[Monica Padman]

Yes.

[Mindy Kaling]

Yeah.

[Monica Padman]

Well, it was Pizza Hut. He ordered pizza. He ordered pizza before Game 5 of the 1997 NBA Finals. Also known as the flu game.

[Dax Shepard]

Right. I just want to add, I've had pizza a couple million times and I've never had food poisoning. I don't know how you would get. How, how a bacteria would still be alive after it goes through the oven. This, this lends itself to the conspiracy theory.

[Monica Padman]

I think it does.

[Dax Shepard]

Okay, so hit us.

[Monica Padman]

But also he. Maybe he got meat on it and the meat was still. He was mad cow.

[Dax Shepard]

No, you blast even mad cow. You blast that in the furnace, it's dead.

[Monica Padman]

Mad cow.

[Dax Shepard]

Mad cow.

[Monica Padman]

Oh my God.

[Dax Shepard]

Where my mad cow's at?

[Monica Padman]

Okay. His trainer Tim Grover and friend George Kohler were with them when the pizza arrived. Grover said he had a bad feeling about the pizza. Jordan woke up at 2:30 throwing up and couldn't hold anything down.

[Dax Shepard]

Wait, your. Didn't you say five guys delivered the pizza?

[Monica Padman]

Yeah, last time it said that.

[Dax Shepard]

So that to me is what's very problematic. Five guys. Yeah, delivered the pizza. If five guys show up to deliver a pizza for me, I'm not opening the door. They're going to rush in.

[Monica Padman]

I know, but then not Russian.

[Dax Shepard]

I'm not saying Russians are all home invaders.

[Monica Padman]

I'm saying rush in, rush space in. But some rumors just say he was hungover.

[Dax Shepard]

Oh, that's a fun rumor.

[Monica Padman]

The poison pizza is vary. Some people don't believe it.

[Dax Shepard]

This reminds me of. You were too young to really watch People's Court a lot. Right. Did you ever watch People's Court?

[Monica Padman]

No.

[Dax Shepard]

It was the precursor to Judge Judy.

[Monica Padman]

Yeah.

[Dax Shepard]

And there, let's see. Doug Llewellyn was a commentator. He would name the cases. And this was like a. Someone who ordered a pizza suing the pizza delivery guy.

[Monica Padman]

Uhhuh.

[Dax Shepard]

And Doug Llewellyn called it the case of the painful pepperoni pizza. God, and it was so memorable.

[Monica Padman]

Okay, this I'm going to play. This is J. Mar's Christopher Walken.

[Dax Shepard]

Oh, I just played it last night. Can you please tell the Christopher Walken's story? First time I met Christopher Walken, I go to say hi to him. As I'm walking up to him, the first thing he says to me is, you know, I can see you coming. I'm like. Because I'm introducing myself. I'm not a Vietnamese sniper working a tree line. Like, that's how. No offense, how introductions work. And before I say anything, he goes, you know, I can see you coming. I had my Rottweiler with me. He goes, I can see your dog, too. And I go, her name is Shirley. And he says, who cares? And I thought he cared because he brought it up, you know? And he goes, I gotta know what happened to your dog, Shirley. Rottweiler. What happened to your dog's tail? It's gone. Where did it go? It's okay, you can tell me. And I'm just standing there, like, in this driveway, going, where the fuck is my dog's tail? And then he gets, like, real close to me, and he goes, it would be great to have a tail. And I'm cool, right? So I look back at him, I go, why?

[Mindy Kaling]

Why is that?

[Dax Shepard]

And he goes, come on. If you had a tail, everyone would know if you were angry or upset, they'd see you. They'd see you, you coming up the block. They'd say, get back. Look at his tail. He's crazy. And I go, well, you probably mean happy. Like, people know if you're happy if you have a tail, you'd wag it because you're happy. And he goes, maybe you and your tail. Yeah, he just cut the ring off on me, right? And then he looked at me like, it's my turn to talk. I've done nothing. I look down at the dog, and dog's like, nah, not me. I go, would you rather be able to fly or have a tail? This is what I got out. And he goes, a tail? Of course. You'd rather have a tail than be able to fly. He goes, you could always get on an airplane with your tail.

[Monica Padman]

Funny. So funny. So he's married, too?

[Dax Shepard]

Yes.

[Monica Padman]

That's so crazy.

[Dax Shepard]

This was exciting. Genie bus.

[Monica Padman]

Yeah.

[Dax Shepard]

Owner of the liqueurs.

[Monica Padman]

So, never been to a game. And I would really like to go.

[Dax Shepard]

You'Ve never been in a game. You got to figure that out. It's a. It's a party. In fact, I just saw Instagram yesterday of Will Ferrell and Chad Smith, drummer for the Chili Peppers. You know, they look Identical. Oh, type in Chad Smith. You're gonna. Your horns are gonna fall off your head.

[Mindy Kaling]

Let me see.

[Dax Shepard]

And they're nodding back and forth to each other and doing a whole thing. That was all. He's also like, Sick four. He's tall like Will as well. Yeah. So they were like, both at the game and they were making a real look.

[Monica Padman]

They went on.

[Dax Shepard]

It's fucking freaky. If Chad's nose was just a little narrower, there's no way to tell him apart.

[Monica Padman]

Wow. They really look like twins. That's crazy.

[Dax Shepard]

Twinsies, twinning.

[Monica Padman]

We still need a twin expert. Okay. Mindy made a remark about a little Olivia Munn investing in Uber in the first round. It was kind of a joke, but she did.

[Dax Shepard]

Oh, my God, she's rich.

[Monica Padman]

She did. She invested in uber at a 290 million valuation. Private.

[Dax Shepard]

Com.

[Monica Padman]

When it was a. Still a private company. And now Uber is worth. Says 157.82 billion market cap.

[Dax Shepard]

Whoa.

[Monica Padman]

Should I look up what Bitcoin is today?

[Dax Shepard]

I know.

[Monica Padman]

Why.

[Dax Shepard]

Because we're tanking it. Right. And we're going to. But the people are going to connect that since we started reporting, it's been going down. And then they're going to attack us under the veil of night. What is that? Go ahead, tell me.

[Monica Padman]

Yeah, I think the joke's worth it. It's 88095.61. It has been going steadily down. We've been reporting on this.

[Dax Shepard]

Yes. You have to admit that. I think the first one was like 102,000.

[Monica Padman]

So look, as you said, we're just not that powerful, though. We're. All we're doing is reporting. We're not. Not causing.

[Dax Shepard]

Except for me causing the lion's loss that's still up in the air.

[Monica Padman]

And my ring.

[Dax Shepard]

Yeah, and your ring. Yeah.

[Monica Padman]

Lost us the election. My eggs are not burned by the fires. Yeah, but there were eggs from the same company or hospital that were in a different location that did have to all get transferred over.

[Dax Shepard]

It's good to know they transferred them.

[Monica Padman]

I know. I agree.

[Dax Shepard]

So they were saying get burnt up.

[Monica Padman]

I know. Oh, my God. I mean.

[Dax Shepard]

Yeah. The amount of months that goes into harvesting those eggs.

[Monica Padman]

Yeah.

[Dax Shepard]

Can I use that word, Harvesting?

[Monica Padman]

Sure.

[Dax Shepard]

Okay.

[Monica Padman]

I'm fine with it.

[Dax Shepard]

Okay.

[Monica Padman]

And the shots and the hormones for retrieval. The retrieval. The cost.

[Dax Shepard]

Yeah.

[Monica Padman]

And not only the cost, but like the. I. I don't know if I'll have as much if I had to do it again.

[Dax Shepard]

The irreplaceability.

[Monica Padman]

Yes.

[Dax Shepard]

Of it.

[Monica Padman]

Exactly.

[Dax Shepard]

Yeah. That's Scary.

[Monica Padman]

Scary. And yeah, I've been thinking more about it since Mindy and I. Since Mindy chatted about her experience a little bit.

[Dax Shepard]

She makes it look good.

[Monica Padman]

Yes. She makes it look possible. She has three children.

[Dax Shepard]

Would you ever get an answer from your. Your contractor? When I was with you, you emailed them.

[Monica Padman]

Oh, yeah.

[Dax Shepard]

Let's look at. Let's find out.

[Monica Padman]

Okay. Because you are constantly telling me that.

[Dax Shepard]

Your house is bigger than yours, that.

[Monica Padman]

My new house is bigger than yours, which is outrageous. Now I am now scared. So what is yours?

[Dax Shepard]

4,300 square feet.

[Monica Padman]

Is there any extra? Is there. Is it 43 something? Ooh, this might be like our IQs.

[Dax Shepard]

No, I actually think it's like 42.90 something.

[Mindy Kaling]

That includes all the other buildings.

[Dax Shepard]

Shut up.

[Monica Padman]

Yeah, no, that's.

[Dax Shepard]

That's aside. We can have that and you'll win that one. Yeah, but right now, the house we live in. No, not this studio. I'm not counting the studio. You should count it too, then.

[Monica Padman]

More than just the studio. No, I can't because I can't come here and get water like you did for appreciate.

[Dax Shepard]

You would have figured out the cameras were stolen a little earlier.

[Monica Padman]

No.

[Dax Shepard]

Anyways, what's your house? We're getting distracted.

[Monica Padman]

The only thing on my property.

[Dax Shepard]

Uhhuh.

[Monica Padman]

Is 43. 43. 80. 45. 44,345 square feet.

[Dax Shepard]

Yeah. And that's what I saw in your plans.

[Monica Padman]

So we got an extra 45.

[Dax Shepard]

Yep. You have a bigger house than we do.

[Monica Padman]

Okay. But you understand, like, that's crazy what you're saying. Right. We really can't agree on this.

[Dax Shepard]

That.

[Monica Padman]

The fact that. That you have a main house with bedrooms.

[Dax Shepard]

Yeah.

[Monica Padman]

A guest house.

[Dax Shepard]

Yeah.

[Monica Padman]

A garage with an office and a gym above it. Separate.

[Dax Shepard]

Yeah. So that's. These are all great.

[Monica Padman]

And the attic and the garage.

[Dax Shepard]

Those are great, great points. But I have one counter that's very going to. You're going to have to acknowledge how powerful this is. When I go to sell this house, it is illegal for me to say that the house is more than 4,300 square feet. You cannot include any out housing.

[Monica Padman]

Okay.

[Dax Shepard]

That's not included. So when I put it up on the market, people will think they're bidding on a 4,300 square foot.

[Monica Padman]

Okay. Only if they're a blind person.

[Dax Shepard]

I'm just saying the city only acknowledges 4300 and the real estate's only acknowledged 4300.

[Mindy Kaling]

Rob, I get both.

[Dax Shepard]

Does.

[Monica Padman]

Would you rather. Would you rather buy this property? Or mine.

[Dax Shepard]

I also have an acre. I'll get admit my property is bigger.

[Monica Padman]

Okay, let's imagine take out the yard.

[Dax Shepard]

Let's talk about buildings are going to be on top of each other. Well, the city is not going to acknowledge it, but the buyer is going to acknowledge it.

[Monica Padman]

Exactly. And can you.

[Dax Shepard]

They won't even come look at it. Like, if I'm trying to sell it for a price that would be commensurate with how much of these outbuildings I have. They won't even come look at the be. Like I'm not driving across town to look at a 4300ft house for that much.

[Monica Padman]

All you have to do is look at the pictures and then you see 80 different places to sleep, live, dream, cry. There is no question, there is zero question that this you have here is more valuable than mine.

[Dax Shepard]

Both things are true. I have more square footage all told.

[Monica Padman]

Yeah.

[Dax Shepard]

And what's also true is that your house is bigger than my house. That's true. My garage is in my house, but.

[Monica Padman]

Your garage, my house is the building.

[Dax Shepard]

I live in and eat in and sleep in.

[Monica Padman]

Spend equal amounts of time throughout this whole property.

[Dax Shepard]

You spend the same amount of time in this building as I do.

[Monica Padman]

But I don't own it. I don't have any. When someone comes to buy it, I don't. I can't tell them.

[Dax Shepard]

If you want to work across the street, you can be in that building as much as the owner.

[Monica Padman]

You're. You're crazy.

[Dax Shepard]

I know you're bummed that your house is bigger, but it just is. We do.

[Monica Padman]

I am not bummed. I am bummed by you trying to manipulate everyone into thinking I'm.

[Dax Shepard]

Have a bigger house.

[Monica Padman]

Have a bigger house.

[Dax Shepard]

Cause I want you to have a bigger house.

[Monica Padman]

I know, but you.

[Mindy Kaling]

But.

[Monica Padman]

Oh, God, it's dark. It's a little dark.

[Dax Shepard]

It is not.

[Monica Padman]

I think it is. And I haven't really fully pinpointed why.

[Dax Shepard]

But you feel darkness.

[Monica Padman]

I feel like I'm locked into the story.

[Dax Shepard]

The story is fantastic. I love the story. Such a great American story. Think what a good story. Take us out of it. There's a family in Louisiana.

[Monica Padman]

Congrats.

[Dax Shepard]

A woman comes in to clean their house.

[Monica Padman]

Sounds like a riddle at the beginning of a riddle or a joke.

[Dax Shepard]

A woman comes in to clean their house. Okay, okay. And then within a few short years, that same woman builds a house across the street that's bigger.

[Monica Padman]

Okay.

[Dax Shepard]

I love that story. What is wrong with that story?

[Monica Padman]

You love that story. That story is omitting Some important parts.

[Dax Shepard]

Yeah, what?

[Monica Padman]

That The. The lady who comes to clean the house. First of all, you downgraded her to cleaning the house.

[Dax Shepard]

Well, I can't say babysitter because I'm trying to. I'm trying to get you out of. You're locked into your story and I'm trying to make a story very similar.

[Monica Padman]

Okay, then you'd have to say a college educated. College educated person who moved here to chase a dream, had an odd job at the house.

[Dax Shepard]

Yeah, but could have. And then a few years later, built a house across the street that was bigger.

[Monica Padman]

But that. Look, that's great. I know you love it.

[Dax Shepard]

What's wrong? I can't. Do not love that store.

[Monica Padman]

No, there's not.

[Dax Shepard]

Not.

[Monica Padman]

It's not real. I am privileged. I am highly capable.

[Dax Shepard]

And at no point in this story have I said the maid in Louisiana was gifted a house across the street.

[Monica Padman]

No, no, I know that, but the context around you hear the maid in Louisiana. You are not imagining someone who could probably at any moment go get employed or go get a higher degree and then get employed quickly and immediately.

[Dax Shepard]

Well, you're making of all those assumptions about the woman cleaning the house. You are. That's on you.

[Monica Padman]

No, it's part of why you like the story. The story is not as good in theory. If it's just someone who's like, totally is. Can totally become a lawyer tomorrow, then goes and buys the house across the street.

[Dax Shepard]

Disagree.

[Monica Padman]

You lie. It's still fine for you.

[Dax Shepard]

Yes. I love that. That. That doesn't diminish the story at all. Oh, it's a story of someone starting on the bottom rung of a ladder and being at the very top of the ladder five years later. It's like a great story. It's like the most triumphant story. I don't know why you can't accept. That's more curious to me is the story that if you heard about, you would love has happened to you and you feel removed from it. Yes. Different. Different, but.

[Monica Padman]

Yes, but the exact same. You moved from another place. You started off at the bottom working at CPK and you have this house. What's the difference? Why is my story more interesting?

[Dax Shepard]

Because all of that came from the job you got. You didn't buy the house across the street because you went out and did a TV show for 12 years.

[Monica Padman]

Right.

[Dax Shepard]

I think that's your. I think you might have a hang up about. About that. And I don't.

[Monica Padman]

Well, what do you mean?

[Dax Shepard]

You directly rose through this household.

[Mindy Kaling]

Yeah.

[Dax Shepard]

And ended up going into business with one of the owners of the household which. Which created all this.

[Monica Padman]

Yeah, that's great.

[Dax Shepard]

That's a different story than mine. I have a great story, but it's a much different story.

[Monica Padman]

Sure.

[Dax Shepard]

I cobbled together 25 different acting jobs before I bought the house. I. It's not as story of me. It's. This is a story of someone entering GM and becoming the CEO.

[Monica Padman]

Yeah, I see what you mean. I see what you mean. Yeah, I get. I guess maybe it feels different to me because it didn't. That wasn't the intention, I guess.

[Dax Shepard]

Yeah, that. Well, that. Yeah.

[Monica Padman]

Like, if you started at GM and become the CEO, you're. That's probably your intention is to like, maneuver your way to the top. But we. I guess we invented the top in some ways, so that. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I don't know. I love it.

[Dax Shepard]

Yeah. I just think it's a great. I love the story. And it's an even better story, I think, if your house is bigger.

[Monica Padman]

Well, I guess you're in luck. Oh, and that's a ding, ding, ding. Because she wanted people to write on their house how they made their money.

[Dax Shepard]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. I guess that really. This would probably satisfy her greatly, this debate.

[Monica Padman]

All righty.

[Dax Shepard]

All right. Love you. Follow Armchair Expert on the Wondry app, Amazon Music, or wherever you get your podcasts. You can listen to every episode of Armchair Expert early and ad free right now by joining Wondry plus in the Wondry app or on Apple Podcasts. Before you go, tell us about yourself by completing a short [e-mail] survey.