Mom's Car: Joy Bryant

Summary

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Armchair Expert: Mom’s Car – Joy Bryant

Release Date: September 9, 2025
Podcast Host: Erin (with Aaron as co-host/driver)
Main Guest: Joy Bryant
Episode Focus: Friendship rituals, wild stories, sex and morality, food obsessions, TV nostalgia, and a candid exploration of “moral dumbfounding” scenarios—all delivered with the show’s signature irreverence and vulnerability.

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Episode Overview

This “Mom’s Car” edition is a rollicking carpool episode featuring actress Joy Bryant (television wife and close friend of the hosts), sharing stories from their shared past, quirks around food and tattoos, and diving into contemporary dilemmas about intimacy, sexuality, and morality. The episode seamlessly mixes heartfelt friendship, laugh-out-loud anecdotes, and honest debates about ethical gray areas, keeping an unguarded, playful, and insightful tone throughout.

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Key Discussion Points and Insights

1. Matching Tattoos & Friendship Rituals

Timestamps: 01:00 – 03:15

• Tattoos as Friendship Bonds: Joy and the hosts discuss their matching tattoos, the meanings behind them (e.g., “Soul Rebel”), and the dynamics of group tattoos:

  • Joy reveals her “Soul Rebel” stick-and-poke with two friends and the riskier nature of three-way matching tattoos versus pairs.
  • “No one wanted me to give anyone anything because they're like, bitch, you can't even see. We don't trust that.” – Joy Bryant (02:13)

• Commemoration through Ink: Joy explains her “gd” (goddamn) as a tribute to her late friend Glen Doherty, a Navy SEAL killed in Benghazi.

  • “That's actually a memorial for a friend of me and Dave's, Glen Doherty. He was one of the people who died in Benghazi.” – Joy Bryant (02:47)

2. Wild Stories & Full-Circle Moments

Timestamps: 03:15 – 08:20

• Pee Stories and Sobriety: Aaron recounts a legendary low-point as an addict: getting peed on while wearing a thong for $40, and then, 20 years later, picking up the same guy as an Uber driver.

  • “To be honest, I’d probably do anything for money. Nothing for my country.” – Erin (03:25)
  • “Who got them bumps? I got them bums, though. Right? I got that. Yay.” – Joy Bryant, joking about coke payments (06:19)

• Reflecting on Addiction: The hosts share how the incident, while shocking, was part of chaotic pre-sobriety times, and reflect on the strange perspective of reunion in sobriety.

3. Food Fixations (Duck Obsession & Delivery Hijinks)

Timestamps: 09:41 – 10:44; 36:02 – 37:00

• Joy’s Culinary Phases: Joy describes her long-standing love of duck, including leftovers and methods of reheating—a recurring joke throughout.

  • “She's a duck machine... I fucking love duck.” – Erin and Joy (10:12)
  • The group later gets giddy about running duck deliveries during the recording.

• Food as Social Event: Humor breaks out around food rituals, hunger, and what they’ll order later.

4. Moral Dumbfounding Scenarios

Timestamps: 10:44 – 24:00 & 36:54 – 44:41

A. Incest Scenario

• They debate Jonathan Haidt’s classic: consenting adult siblings have protected sex once, never tell anyone, feel closer.
  • The group agrees it’s “disgusting, not immoral,” highlighting how moral instincts and intellectual arguments can clash.
  • “I don't think it's immoral necessarily. It's not something that I would ever want to do.” – Joy Bryant (12:48)
  • “Should have got a prude in the car.” – Aaron (15:41)
  • Notable empathy: Since there’s no victim, and if all is consensual and private, their gut disgust doesn’t translate to finding it wicked or criminal.

B. Corpse Desecration (“Necrophilia”)

• Is it immoral if a med student has sex with an unclaimed cadaver, and no one ever finds out?
  • Joy feels strongly that it violates consent, even post-death:
    • “You were not given consent… The body is still a human being.” – Joy Bryant (37:21; 42:21)
  • Others are less certain, finding the lack of a victim persuasive but still deeply unsettled (“the nastiest,” “crossing a line”).

C. Dolphin Bestiality Thought Experiment

• Concludes that women with male dolphins seems “less bad” than men with female dolphins, exposing how “who penetrates whom” changes gut instincts about morality.
  • “They're the horniest.” – Joy Bryant, on dolphins (40:19)
  • All admit to being “morally dumbfounded” by these bizarre hypotheticals, and the exercise triggers laughter and philosophical pondering.

5. Listener Letter: Sex, Orgasm, and Communication

Timestamps: 16:24 – 23:04

• Dilemma: A woman’s boyfriend loses his erection (“slips out”) when she orgasms; he claims her contractions cause it. She’s skeptical.
  • “First of all, very jealous of her Kegel muscles… she can fucking eject.” – Joy Bryant (17:32)
  • Hosts suspect an early climax (on his part) is the real reason.
  • Joy’s advice: Don’t discuss sexual issues in bed; broach gently, with love, outside the bedroom. Try practical solutions (e.g., changing positions to test “the popping out” claim), recommend openness, and consider aids like Viagra if needed.
    • “You never talk about [sex difficulties] in bed… always come from a place of calm love.” – Joy Bryant (19:33)
  • The segment underscores vulnerability in sexual communication and the importance of not shaming partners.

6. TV Nostalgia & “White Drama”

Timestamps: 23:16 – 25:44

• Favorite Shows: Joy loved Beverly Hills, 90210 and Melrose Place in high school.
  • “[Dylan] had a convertible Porsche. What a badass.” – Joy Bryant (25:11)
• Meta Commentary: They riff on the idea of a show called “White Drama,” humorously labeling 90s TV tropes.
  • “This is a white drama. It is about some white bullshit.” – Joy Bryant (23:52)
  • “Raisins and potato salad... underseasoned, but it’s gonna be good.” – Joy Bryant (24:21)

7. Weed & Mushrooms: Tolerance, Hierarchies, and Edible Mishaps

Timestamps: 26:15 – 34:20

• Stoner Status Hierarchies: Joy admires “platinum-level stoners” but puts herself at “bronze to pewter.”
• Mushroom Chocolates: They discuss how predictable dosing of edibles is an upgrade from the wild guesswork of 90s shrooming.
• Epic Edible Fail: Aaron tells of losing his vision after strong edibles and being gently walked back to the hotel by a friend.
  • “I lost my sight… I'm gonna get hit by a car for sure.” – Aaron (33:17)
  • The group reflects on compassion during addiction and how past embarrassments are often remembered more harshly by the person than their loved ones.

8. On-Set Kissing, Smelly Mixes, and Crossing Cultural Lines

Timestamps: 48:07 – 52:13

• Salmon Stick Story: Before a kissing scene on Parenthood, Joy had coffee, a cigarette, hard-boiled eggs, and salmon sticks—pushing Dax/Erin to his limit.
  • “You gotta pick one… and ever since then, I'm like, ‘it’s only one thing.’” – Joy Bryant (50:49)
• Hair Boundaries: Joy tells Erin, “You can do whatever you want, just don’t touch my hair,” highlighting cultural hair norms and friendship.

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• "I just love matching friend tattoos…" – Joy Bryant (02:01)
• “To be honest, I'd probably do anything for money. Nothing for my country.” – Erin (03:25)
• “You can do whatever the fuck you want. Don't touch my hair." – Joy Bryant (51:28)
• “[On dolphins] They're the horniest.” – Joy Bryant (40:19)
• “You gotta pick one [stinky thing]! You can't do all four.” – Erin (50:10)
• “Weed, food, kinks—duck obsession—it's all the same.” – Paraphrased vibe from Joy and Erin throughout

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Timestamps for Important Segments

• Friendship tattoos & memorials: 01:00 – 03:15
• The infamous pee story and Uber aftermath: 04:26 – 08:20
• Duck obsession, food fun: 09:41 – 10:44, 36:02 – 37:00
• Moral dumbfounding: incest question: 10:44 – 15:45
• Listener dilemma (sex, communication): 16:24 – 23:04
• TV nostalgia & “White Drama”: 23:16 – 25:44
• Weed hierarchy, mushroom chocolates, edible misadventures: 26:15 – 34:20
• Corpse scenario (“Necrophilia”): 36:54 – 44:41
• On-set food and hair boundaries: 48:07 – 52:13

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Overall Tone & Takeaways

The episode is candid, raucous, silly, deeply empathetic, and often philosophical. The natural chemistry between Joy Bryant and the hosts invites listeners into a friendship that gleefully mixes irreverence with openness. They're unafraid to poke fun at each other, recall mortifying experiences, and earnestly tackle “big” questions about what’s gross, what’s truly wrong, and how none of us are immune from being messy or complicated. Every scenario—no matter how taboo—is handled with warmth, curiosity, and an undercurrent of acceptance.

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For new listeners:
This is Armchair Expert at its best—bravely unfiltered, laugh-out-loud funny, and sneakily profound. If you haven’t listened yet, this summary will equip you with all the inside jokes and context to jump right in.

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Transcript

[Erin]

Hello and welcome to Mom's Car Today, one of my dearest friends, my television wife, Joy Bryant, joins Erin and I today. And I just love this woman so much. I'm sure you do too. Please enjoy Joy Bryant. Some people just know they could save.

[Commercial Announcer]

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[Erin]

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[Erin]

Joy, Karen and I got matching tattoos yesterday.

[Joy Bryant]

No way. I love that on my neck. Oh, what does it say? La Costa Nostra.

[Erin]

Okay, that's what I want to get to, but. J2C. January 2nd. Capricorn. July 2nd. Cancer. Impossible.

[Joy Bryant]

Aw.

[Erin]

Yeah.

[Aaron]

We figured this out when we were kids.

[Erin]

Yeah. In junior high. We figured out that we're the rarest of the rare. Jtc.

[Aaron]

That's mine right there.

[Joy Bryant]

Oh, my God. Okay, first of all, I love matching friend tattoos. I have one with two of my other friends, and it's Soul Rebel.

[Erin]

Soul Rebel. And there's three of you with it.

[Joy Bryant]

Yes. And it's all stick and poke.

[Erin]

I just gotta say though, a three way matching tattoo's higher stakes. Cause the odds of a fallout with three higher than two friend.

[Joy Bryant]

Fallout.

[Erin]

Yeah.

[Joy Bryant]

Oh, yeah. No, we're never gonna.

[Erin]

It's not gonna happen.

[Joy Bryant]

No, not gonna happen. The only thing is that everyone's tattoo is totally different because one friend gave me a tattoo and then he gave.

[Erin]

Me, oh, there's a dudes in the mix.

[Joy Bryant]

Oh, yeah. We're all best friends. So it's like the three of us.

[Erin]

Two gals and a guy.

[Joy Bryant]

Yeah. No one wanted me to give them a tattoo because my vision's a little bit off.

[Erin]

Hold on, hold on. I thought you meant he gave you the design, but you're saying he physically tattooed you?

[Joy Bryant]

Yeah. So woman, man, we're all besties.

[Erin]

Yeah.

[Joy Bryant]

And we decided that we're gonna do Soul Rebel. Steve gave me and Jade the tattoos, and then Jade gave Steve the tattoos, but no one wanted me to give anyone anything because they're like, bitch, you can't even see. We don't trust that. But mind you, that was his first stick and poke, and it's all janky. It doesn't even look like it says Soul Rebel. It looks like it says Soul Reed.

[Aaron]

Oh, yeah.

[Joy Bryant]

I mean, that works too, right?

[Erin]

I like it. Yeah. Soul Reel.

[Joy Bryant]

He Was like stabbing my arm and shit.

[Erin]

What's the gd?

[Aaron]

Goddamn.

[Joy Bryant]

I mean, yes, God damn. I said goddamn.

[Erin]

Goddamn, I say goddamn.

[Joy Bryant]

That's actually a memorial for a friend of me and Dave's, Glen Doherty. He was one of the people who died in Benghazi.

[Erin]

Oh, my God.

[Joy Bryant]

Yeah, we met him through the whole sort of snowboard. He's an ex Navy seal, and we.

[Erin]

Just looking for some action.

[Joy Bryant]

Yeah, he was just a really amazing, special person.

[Erin]

Yeah, I felt like maybe when you were staying at our house for the evacuations, we maybe talked about him because.

[Joy Bryant]

You have a friend who lived in that world.

[Erin]

In that world. Navy SEAL and was offered to go to Benghazi for a lot of money. They paid well for that. I'm not saying your friend, but the one that was offered to my friend.

[Joy Bryant]

Yeah.

[Erin]

I kind of dug this because I myself can't walk into a lot of stuff. But he just said to me, yeah, I was really tempted, but I just thought, you end up doing shit on these missions that can't be about money. You really gotta think it's about country or you're not gonna do the thing that needs doing. And I was like, wow, that's some cool integrity. Cause I'd probably likely more do anything for money. Nothing for my country.

[Joy Bryant]

I don't buy a coin on the floor.

[Erin]

I am not walking by a penny on the street. Yeah, but Erin and I would drink a bottle of ketchup at the restau for $5.

[Joy Bryant]

You guys have actually done that?

[Erin]

Aaron hit some real lows. What, when he was an addict.

[Joy Bryant]

Wait, when you were in what?

[Erin]

When he was an addict?

[Joy Bryant]

I said, oh, some real lows. Like.

[Aaron]

Like what I do for money.

[Erin]

Yeah. What about Vince? This is an incredible story. Because of the full circle nature. Okay, okay, so hit her with. At Dean's house. Oh, we'll leave the offender out of it.

[Aaron]

Sure, sure, sure. So, you know, Joy, that game, how much would it take to do such and such? People would be like, I wouldn't do that for a million dollars. I'd be like 60 bucks. Like that kind of thing, you know?

[Joy Bryant]

I was like, that's immediate needs right there.

[Aaron]

Yeah. So I found myself at a party at my friend's house.

[Joy Bryant]

And were you there?

[Erin]

I was not. I had retired at this point.

[Aaron]

My girlfriend's there, all my friends, all these fucking assholes that I don't know. I find myself wearing my girlfriend's thong, and it's a foot of snow outside and it's like, zero.

[Joy Bryant]

Wait, what kind of thong? G String or they were thongs or were they G strings? Was it one strip up your ass, or was it sort of like fabric up your butt?

[Aaron]

It was something up my butt. I know he has huge butt cheeks.

[Erin]

I don't think. I think anything.

[Joy Bryant]

Everything is of G string.

[Erin]

It's a G string.

[Joy Bryant]

Oh, you got a fat ass.

[Erin]

Oh, he's got a gorgeous.

[Aaron]

Sadly enough, there was no pictures of this. Cause there was in the 90s.

[Joy Bryant]

Before pictures.

[Aaron]

So I'm standing outside, bent over on the porch with my ass.

[Erin]

Yes.

[Aaron]

Making me crap pot, and a dude just fucking starts peeing on my butt.

[Erin]

That's what was on the table.

[Aaron]

Yeah, it was on the.

[Erin]

Yeah.

[Aaron]

And I agreed to this for 40 bucks, which was like, oh, you're not even 60. Which was like four people chipped in 10 bucks. Like, it took a minute to even get to 40.

[Erin]

They couldn't get it up to 40.

[Aaron]

And then I was, like, sold. At the time, a tina of Coke.

[Erin]

Was 40 bucks jokes on all of them.

[Aaron]

Yeah, jokes.

[Joy Bryant]

I did.

[Aaron]

And I said that, too.

[Erin]

I thought it.

[Aaron]

I thought my girlfriend was so fucking embarrassed. She was like, I don't even have words. And I go, yeah, but who's fucking laughing? Who's really laughing now?

[Joy Bryant]

Who got them bumps? I got them bums, though. Right? I got that. Yay.

[Erin]

Now, here's the most incredible part of the story. I think this gentleman who did pee on it, I'm more suspicious of that guy than I am Aaron, in this.

[Joy Bryant]

Scenario, a pee who was peed on. Right, right, right.

[Erin]

He who chose and volunteered to pee.

[Joy Bryant]

On a man's ass.

[Erin]

Another man's ass cheeks and a thong I find more disturbing. There's nothing in it for him other than, I guess, the pleasure of peeing on another man.

[Joy Bryant]

Peeing on another person.

[Erin]

I don't want to pee.

[Joy Bryant]

And he lost $40. Right.

[Erin]

10 of it was his, I'm sure.

[Joy Bryant]

Oh, oh, oh. Okay.

[Erin]

So as you know, Aaron's been driving Uber. He answers a call. He pulls up to this nice house, and the man who peed on him.

[Joy Bryant]

No.

[Erin]

Having to drive on you.

[Aaron]

Yeah.

[Joy Bryant]

It was like, you picked up an Uber 20 years later, four weeks ago. Fuck, no.

[Aaron]

I was like, no, you've got to be fucking.

[Joy Bryant]

Wait, the person from Detroit.

[Aaron]

Yeah. So I pull up to this nice house on a lake, and I'm waiting in the driveway, and out comes this person.

[Erin]

Pee Pee man.

[Joy Bryant]

He remembered him.

[Erin]

We know him well.

[Aaron]

He's a friend.

[Erin]

But since sobriety, not a lot of interaction. Right?

[Joy Bryant]

Okay.

[Aaron]

No need for it.

[Erin]

All Wrapped up.

[Joy Bryant]

Okay. I'm so fascinated. Okay. So he gets in the car.

[Erin]

He's already hammered.

[Joy Bryant]

The guy is already hammered.

[Erin]

Oh, yeah, yeah.

[Aaron]

And he'd been drinking all day.

[Joy Bryant]

Okay.

[Aaron]

And now him and his wife are going to a fucking party.

[Joy Bryant]

Did he recognize. Do they know you? Oh.

[Erin]

Oh, yeah, we know. Oh, no.

[Aaron]

Immediately they thought my car was like this car with all cameras on. They thought, like, this was a big joke. In a million years, I couldn't have picked that. I would be getting them for a ride.

[Joy Bryant]

Wait, so did you guys ever talk about that night?

[Aaron]

Yeah, it came up a few times over the years.

[Joy Bryant]

In the car that night?

[Erin]

No, not that.

[Aaron]

In the car that night.

[Joy Bryant]

Okay.

[Erin]

He loves it. Of course the guy who did the pee loves it.

[Joy Bryant]

I wonder who else he loves.

[Aaron]

I'm not embarrassed. Obviously. Telling it right now for many people to hear.

[Joy Bryant]

I wish I was high right now.

[Aaron]

Sorry. But yeah, no, he was proud to always tell that story at a party.

[Joy Bryant]

Oh, he was proud to tell that story. Oh, yeah.

[Erin]

Sure, sure, sure.

[Joy Bryant]

Interesting.

[Erin]

Makes me think of you saw the Chappelle? We watched it together, right? The Chappelle Monologue on Saturday Night Live.

[Joy Bryant]

Yes.

[Erin]

That was like a 20 out of 10.

[Joy Bryant]

Yes.

[Erin]

Oh, got one. It's out. Where? Now Aaron's on it. He'll instruct me what to do.

[Aaron]

Okay. House of Pies.

[Erin]

Ooh, this is exciting. Our little salon.

[Joy Bryant]

Wait a.

[Aaron]

Are you so excited? Oh, shit. Hold on.

[Erin]

What happened?

[Aaron]

We're getting an ad of delivery.

[Erin]

Oh, my God. Is it multi step?

[Aaron]

Yeah, yeah. So.

[Erin]

Oh, wow.

[Aaron]

House of Pies. We go.

[Erin]

Okay, great.

[Aaron]

And I think there's probably two orders sitting there for us.

[Erin]

Oh, wow. Megabucks. People are religious about House of Pies. It's very charming because look how it does feel like you're time traveling to Los Feliz 70s or something. I mean, I'll sum up that whole story. It's just the dude's blasted. Aaron's got a wade through. Why are you driving Uber? Also, we need you to drive this home.

[Joy Bryant]

Sure.

[Aaron]

Like, are you okay?

[Erin]

You're driving Uber?

[Aaron]

Things really went south with me.

[Erin]

Cancer. Oh, okay. And so you know the system. Aaron gets it and I deliver it.

[Joy Bryant]

Got it.

[Erin]

Oh, my God. Look how many pies he's got. Wow. Yeah. Let him throw that shit in the back. All right.

[Joy Bryant]

Yeah.

[Erin]

Pie time.

[Aaron]

Big money, big money.

[Erin]

Big money. Beautiful.

[Joy Bryant]

It's also like, are you gonna feed me later?

[Erin]

Oh, yeah, yeah. I'll do whatever you want. Yeah, yeah.

[Aaron]

I'll fe you where you're going.

[Erin]

Joy. Has really. How would I describe your culinary pursuits? You get into things. Is it safe to say you get like.

[Joy Bryant]

Yes.

[Erin]

So Joy, for two months will just be like, do you want to go get some duck? And she'll eat duck.

[Joy Bryant]

Oh, my God. I had duck the other night. Yo, I fucking love ducks. I love duck.

[Erin]

She's a duck machine.

[Joy Bryant]

Oh, my God. I had duck the other night. And I'm about to have it later on for, like, leftovers.

[Erin]

Does it microwave? Well, no, no, no.

[Joy Bryant]

I'm. I'm gonna, like, heat it in the pan.

[Erin]

Okay. I can figure this out. Right? What do we.

[Joy Bryant]

Which one? This one right here.

[Erin]

Okay, great. All right, I'm in par.

[Aaron]

I can't find a map. Was that the one?

[Erin]

That was it. Okay. Oh, my God. The next one's eight miles away.

[Aaron]

That's why we're getting the big bucks.

[Erin]

This one?

[Aaron]

Yeah. Okay, half hour.

[Joy Bryant]

Which is so funny, because eight miles is not really that far, but in LA, eight miles is really far.

[Erin]

Yeah. In this case, 31 minutes. Okay. Joy, have you ever heard of moral dumbfounding questions?

[Joy Bryant]

No, but I'm sure I've heard moral dumbfounding.

[Erin]

I'm aware of it because Jonathan Haidt, he asked these moral dumbfounding questions to his students at the beginning of class. And what moral dumbfounding is, is you really can't mount an intellectual argument for why it's immoral, but your gut tells you it's wrong. And his work was proving that people more often than not listen to their gut, whether they can actually make a logical argument for why it's not moral. I think we start with the brother sister one. I think this is his most famous. And then he has his class fight about this. And, of course, no one's ever happy.

[Aaron]

Okay, this is the incest scenario.

[Erin]

Oh, God.

[Joy Bryant]

Oh.

[Aaron]

A brother and sister, both consenting adults, decide to have sex while on vacation.

[Joy Bryant]

All right, did you say while on vacation?

[Erin]

Yeah. First of all, already where they're on a vacation together. They might have more of a moral dilemma with going on just a vacation with your sibling than even having sex with them.

[Aaron]

Once you get on vacation, it gets better. They use protection and never do it again. They both feel like it made them closer. But tell no one. Is this morally wrong? If so, why?

[Joy Bryant]

Is what wrong? Is it morally, or is it wrong to even tell anyone?

[Erin]

No, it's just the whole endeavor. Morally wrong. Now, there's clever things in there that I'm sure you already detected, which is they use protection because a Lot of people's argument would be like, no, you're wrong, because you'll have a defective child. So they've cleared that up. So there's no baby coming out of this. Yeah, consenting's really relevant.

[Joy Bryant]

Yeah.

[Aaron]

Both feel it made them closer.

[Joy Bryant]

That's.

[Erin]

Awkward.

[Joy Bryant]

Incredibly intimate.

[Erin]

Okay. I don't want to feel closer to a sibling. Post coitus.

[Joy Bryant]

I mean, is it wrong? I don't know.

[Commercial Announcer]

Is it immoral?

[Joy Bryant]

I don't think it's immoral necessarily. It's not something that I would ever want to do.

[Erin]

The notion to me, is absolutely repulsive. I have a sister. I've gone to great lengths to have no idea if she has boobs. Oh, wait a minute.

[Joy Bryant]

Are these, like, blue brothers?

[Erin]

This is brother and sister.

[Joy Bryant]

Yes. Oh, not a stepsister?

[Aaron]

No, not like.

[Erin]

I don't think. I don't think Steph would even make it to a question.

[Joy Bryant]

I don't know. You know?

[Erin]

Yeah, we're all.

[Joy Bryant]

That wasn't coming in that sense. No, it's fine.

[Erin]

I had this scenario in my real life, I think I've told you about it, which is my mom's third husband came with a daughter who was two grades above me, who I had known I had been in love with. I was like, I'm gonna live in the same house as this girl that I've liked.

[Aaron]

Oh, God.

[Erin]

And she's two grades older. I was so excited. She ignored me for however long. They were married two years or something or a year and a half. But she. My brother was then two grades above her or three. So she had a crush on my brother for sure, and he ignored her. Like, he just blocked her out. So there was a very weird step sibling love triangle that never went anywhere. Probably for the best, I think, also.

[Joy Bryant]

The fact that they use protection, it's just like, that's between them. We're going to pretend like this never happened. We're not gonna tell anybody. It's over. It's done. I don't feel like I have a right to judge that.

[Erin]

I think it's weird, but I'm making my choices based on who's the victim in this scenari?

[Joy Bryant]

There is no victim.

[Erin]

Right. Cause they don't tell anyone. Cause I would say, like, the parents would be victims.

[Joy Bryant]

How would the parents be victims if.

[Erin]

They found out their children made love on a vacation? I think they would be really troubled by that.

[Joy Bryant]

And thus they would be the victims.

[Erin]

And they would be going, oh, my God, what did we do wrong? Then Brenda and John took a Trip to Amsterdam.

[Aaron]

I'd like to note that Brenda and John are definitely doing this again.

[Joy Bryant]

It depends on how good it is.

[Erin]

Well, it sounds like. Yeah, Aaron has an issue with the premise, which is like, what do you mean? Never did it again? They did it. They liked it and feel closer. And now they decided one. Done. But I guess for the sake of this moral dumbfounding, you have to address the scenario. It's only one. It's one time.

[Aaron]

Yeah.

[Joy Bryant]

So in this instance, I am a libertine.

[Erin]

Okay. Yeah, I am too. It's disgusting. I don't know that I could do it even to save all of mankind. Aaron has sisters as well.

[Joy Bryant]

I'm the only child, so there's that perspective. Ooh, girls, stop texting when you drive in.

[Aaron]

Yeah.

[Erin]

Oh, you should ride a motorcycle between travel. What you see is that 40% of people are actively texting or watching a video.

[Joy Bryant]

No.

[Erin]

And then 40% are actively smoking weed.

[Joy Bryant]

No.

[Erin]

Yeah. What you realize quickly as you're lane splitting on a motorcycle is that almost nobody in LA in traffic is actually driving. Their subconscious just getting them to wherever they gotta go.

[Aaron]

Yeah.

[Erin]

Okay, Aaron, so do you have a verdict? Mine was. It's not immoral. It's just disgusting.

[Aaron]

That makes three of us.

[Erin]

Should have got a prude in the car.

[Aaron]

I needed someone.

[Erin]

Yeah.

[Joy Bryant]

Three dirtbags.

[Aaron]

Three scumbags.

[Erin]

All good. What happens? You kill a dude and get 20 bucks off of him. All good.

[Joy Bryant]

Whatever. Somebody peed on you. $40. Whatever.

[Erin]

So take the money and run.

[Joy Bryant]

Yeah, look, you know what? Actually it's good that it happened in the 90s before, like smartphones and cell phones.

[Aaron]

Exactly.

[Erin]

Oh, there would definitely be a video of that, I think.

[Joy Bryant]

All the shit that happened.

[Erin]

Yes.

[Joy Bryant]

Oh, my God, these four kids today.

[Erin]

That's a great silver lining that you're right about because 1000% everyone would have videoed it. Yeah.

[Joy Bryant]

Except for your girlfriend. You'd be a viral hit.

[Erin]

Now we're gonna discuss the problem from.

[Aaron]

This is from Rachel in Santa Barbara.

[Erin]

Oh, great.

[Aaron]

My new man can't keep it up and it's ruining my O. I woman of 30 years old recently started dating someone new. A man, 29 years old together in Sirius for about four months and things are honestly amazing. He's a vulner boy, just like you guys and makes me feel very safe and loved.

[Joy Bryant]

A what boy?

[Erin]

A vulner boy. We're vulneraboys.

[Joy Bryant]

Vulner boys.

[Erin]

Yeah. Yeah, we invented. Yeah, we're vulnerable boys. Yeah, we're the vulnerable boys. We have A band. We've yet to record any of our songs.

[Aaron]

We don't think anyone can handle it yet.

[Erin]

But we write songs about being scared and overreacting.

[Joy Bryant]

So it's beyond emo.

[Erin]

Yeah, yeah, it's the best.

[Joy Bryant]

Middle aged emo.

[Erin]

Mid century emo.

[Joy Bryant]

Right? Mid century emo. Got it.

[Aaron]

Yes, definitely.

[Joy Bryant]

I love it.

[Aaron]

However, when we have sex, his penis won't stay inside me. When I start having an orgasm, he says that contractions are pushing him out. Which sounds made up because it has never happened before.

[Erin]

First of all, very jealous of her Kegel muscles.

[Joy Bryant]

Exactly.

[Erin]

She can fucking eject.

[Aaron]

Exactly. That's some big fucking owing happening.

[Erin]

I've never. That means snatched.

[Joy Bryant]

Literally she snatched.

[Erin]

And I have not given an O of that quality. Apparently you didn't shoot me out.

[Aaron]

Nor have I, I hate to admit. So she thinks it sounds made up and she's assuming he can't stay hard.

[Erin]

Her assumption is that he is getting.

[Joy Bryant]

Soft and then saying that it's because of her.

[Erin]

Her erratic contraction.

[Aaron]

To be fair, I usually get it one way or the other. But when he's softening up and sliding out right when I'm about to O, it ruins the momentum and the movement. How do I talk about it with him without potentially embarrassing him or making him feel bad? Please help me. Vulner boys.

[Erin]

Vulner boys to the rescue. I want to hear a woman's perspective. What from her point of view makes sense to you and what are you confused by?

[Joy Bryant]

I would imagine that contractions and Kegels are very stimulating to a penis when it's inside of you. And there's lots of benefits for that. And that could be overstimulating to her partner. Right? Because sometimes being overly stimulated will cause the penis to go in the opposite direction. Retreat to go quiet. So, girl, I feel your pain, child. I feel your pain, sis.

[Erin]

I guess that's a good question. Has this ever happened to you? Cause I call bullshit on a lot of this already. I think he's coming. She's about to orgasm. And it's so exciting when you're a dude and the girl's about to come. Well, for me at least, that's when it's very hardest not to spray, is when she's about to come. So my hunch is she's about to spray and he does. And then it go soft. Or he's about to. So he pulls out. So he doesn't spray. I have some follow up questions for her. Yeah, but I don't think he's hard. And then Right. When it gets super exciting, he's flaccid. That I can't relate to personally.

[Joy Bryant]

I mean, look, you never want to emasculate or make anyone feel bad.

[Erin]

I feel bad for y'. All. How do you bring anything up?

[Joy Bryant]

You just have to. You never talk about it in bed.

[Erin]

Okay, great. Oh, okay, good.

[Joy Bryant]

You don't talk about sex and what's working, what's not working in bed. Unless you're, like, actually fucking. And you're like, okay, do this. Do it. Like, you know.

[Erin]

Right, right.

[Joy Bryant]

But, like, after the fact, you don't talk about any issues or whatever in bed. Take it out of the bedroom. And always come from a place of calm love. Right. Because it is sensitive. But I think it's more so that. Because we are so reluctant to talk about it. More so that when you start talking about it, it's actually not that bad sometimes. So I think that it's just like, you know, hey, I just noticed that when we're having sex and I'm about to come, like, I just like to talk about what that feels like for you. Because what I would like is xyz. What can we do differently so that you might be able to. So that I can be able to.

[Erin]

Yeah. Okay. So there's a lot going. I think it's gonna be tricky because he's made a claim that I feel like she might have to refute, which is, it's ejecting your penis. So I don't know how we tackle that quite yet, but I think maybe I would go in steps for her, which is. Okay, let's assume he's telling the truth and it's getting rejected. That can't happen if she's riding him. If she's on top and she's sitting on it, it can't get ejected. Would we agree with the physics of that?

[Joy Bryant]

Yeah. You know what? Now that I'm thinking about it.

[Erin]

Yeah, Think more about it.

[Joy Bryant]

I mean, think about it. There is the whole thing of, like, deliberately squeezing your Kegels while the penis is inside of you.

[Erin]

Sure.

[Joy Bryant]

Not involuntary. I don't know that. Like, oh, you're coming, and now you're contracting. So I don't buy what he's saying.

[Erin]

I think it's possible, but I think it's highly improbable.

[Joy Bryant]

Yeah.

[Erin]

So first order of business would be like, hey, I know you're saying it's popping out. I would love for it to be in there when I hit my brain. Can I try riding you to see if it won't pop out.

[Joy Bryant]

Right.

[Erin]

Okay, great. What's he gonna say? No, you can't ride me? He's gonna say, yes, you can ride me. That's my assumption. Now, if he still pops out in that scenario, I think he's limp. And now we can address in the debrief after that sex, we could maybe say like, well, wow, it still popped out. Do you think you're losing your erection? To me, the options on the table are like, well, if you're losing your erection, just use Viagra. If it's really a loss of erection, there's medicine. Just fucking take Viagra.

[Joy Bryant]

Yeah.

[Erin]

But again, my hunch is he's probably coming early. I can relate to this. When I was younger. Oh, what a stressful thing. Someone's gotta teach you to handle your business before you do your business. Everything will be golden.

[Joy Bryant]

And also there's performance anxiety and those kinds of things.

[Erin]

But I think, why is it getting soft? Is it getting soft because you're orgasming and going, that's so flattering. Like putting a real positive spin on it. And then you gotta talk about, okay, what if I blow you a half hour before we have sex and then give it a go and see if you. You can hang in the saddle.

[Aaron]

Joey, what you said about the talk and not in bed until Ruthie, who I'm married to now, I never. Or at least maybe I didn't hear them. Never had a talk about anything open with the sex. It just happened.

[Joy Bryant]

I feel like a lot of people.

[Aaron]

Don'T, but it's very healthy.

[Erin]

Yeah. Yeah, it's hard. I wanna acknowledge it's so hard. Cause I think it's the easiest way to like, destroy someone's self esteem. I think we all intersex going, like, I hope I'm enough. If you're a dude, it' how big's your dick? Which she doesn't even care about. But as a dude, you think so? It's like, am I big enough then? Do I last long enough? Am I hitting all this accoutrement you have correctly, right?

[Joy Bryant]

Am I hitting the wall?

[Erin]

Am I bottoming out? Am I hitting the wall?

[Joy Bryant]

Yeah.

[Erin]

Yeah.

[Aaron]

All right.

[Erin]

Voila. Meet Ed Dora. I get to meet this person?

[Aaron]

Yes.

[Erin]

Okay, wonderful. Now I want to get back closer to our house.

[Joy Bryant]

Yeah, that's what we were saying. I'm not mad. As little subdivisions. Yeah.

[Aaron]

I find a lot of times you can't get in the buildings.

[Erin]

Yeah. Very Melrose Place. What were your show's joy when you were in high school? Were you sucked into any of these white dramas. Like, I was white drama. Like Beverly Hills 90210.

[Joy Bryant]

White drama. Hashtag white drama.

[Erin]

We got drama, too, yo.

[Joy Bryant]

Y' all definitely got fucking drama. That is the great. That's like a great name for a show. Yo, White drama. What's it about? It's all in the title. White drama.

[Erin]

I wonder if you could just declare a show these days. Like, this show's gonna be 100% white. It's a white drama.

[Joy Bryant]

This is a white drama.

[Erin]

This is a white show.

[Joy Bryant]

This is a white. White.

[Erin]

Everyone's free to watch it, but it is for white people only.

[Joy Bryant]

It is about some white bullshit. White drama.

[Aaron]

It'll say that up in the corner before it starts. This is full of white bullshit.

[Joy Bryant]

This is full of white bullshit. Just to let you know, it's gonna be good. I'm just white bullshit.

[Erin]

It'll be exactly what you expect.

[Joy Bryant]

It'll be exactly what you're not gonna.

[Aaron]

Relate to it, but it will entertain you.

[Joy Bryant]

Right? It's gonna be under seasoned, but it's gonna be good.

[Erin]

Under.

[Joy Bryant]

It'S gonna be raisins and potato salad. But it's gonna, you know, whatever. You pick it out.

[Erin]

Did you like any of those shows, though?

[Joy Bryant]

Yes, I loved Niner 210- Melrose Place.

[Aaron]

Also.

[Erin]

You were in that boarding school. That was a bunch of honkies, right? They were probably all watching Melrose and talking about it.

[Joy Bryant]

Weird thing is, I don't remember watching a lot of TV in high school. Cause I think we had TV in maybe some of the common rooms or something like that. But I didn't really watch a lot, so.

[Erin]

Which one did you watch? Party of Five.

[Joy Bryant]

I wasn't really into Party of Five.

[Erin]

That was actually.

[Joy Bryant]

There was some names out, but you did well.

[Erin]

Beverly was 90210.

[Aaron]

She said. Yeah, And Melrose.

[Erin]

And did you have a favorite character on 90210?

[Joy Bryant]

Dylan.

[Erin]

Dylan. Dylan. Yeah.

[Aaron]

Not Brandon.

[Erin]

We love Brandon. He's a.

[Aaron]

He's nice.

[Erin]

But it's all about the bad boy.

[Aaron]

With the raspy boy in a Porsche.

[Erin]

Convertible. Porsche in high school.

[Joy Bryant]

Wait, he had a convertible Porsche.

[Aaron]

Porsche. Yes.

[Erin]

Yes, he did.

[Joy Bryant]

What a badass.

[Erin]

Yeah, he rolled around a little Porsche Spider. Fucking A. Yeah.

[Joy Bryant]

Yeah.

[Erin]

Hard to beat. But then Brandon got a 65 Mustang.

[Aaron]

Sure did.

[Erin]

Yeah. At one point. I love that. The premise of that show was that.

[Aaron]

They were poor, Minnesota.

[Erin]

And they kept showing their house, like a 4,000 square foot house in Beverly Hills.

[Joy Bryant]

They're poor.

[Erin]

And you're like, God, I don't know.

[Aaron]

How they're embarrassed around their friends.

[Erin]

Yeah. Still want to get picked up in front of their house. Who would be your top three list of people you would want to smoke a joint with? You bring your own. I guess in this scenario, Seth Rogen's number one.

[Joy Bryant]

Yes. He's like, number one, two, three.

[Erin]

I might be able to broker that.

[Joy Bryant]

No way. I would smoke more than one hit with Seth Rogan.

[Erin]

Okay.

[Joy Bryant]

Although I kind of feel like his weed is very strong too. But I would just bring my own as well.

[Erin]

This is one of Joy's hot takes that I love. When we were doing Parenthood, she was like, okay, Seth Rogen and James Franco, they're in all these movies together, and all the girls are wild for Franco, and he's objectively cute. I get it. She goes, but for my money, give me a night with Seth Rogen. And I was like, girl, look, he's.

[Joy Bryant]

Funny and he likes to eat, and he smokes weed.

[Aaron]

Yeah.

[Erin]

This is the dream hang.

[Joy Bryant]

The snacks would be crazy. And the snacks would be crazy.

[Aaron]

Love it.

[Erin]

Okay, so Seth Rogen, number one, Woody Harrelson. Any interest?

[Joy Bryant]

You know, I never thought of my top dream stoner. Yeah. I would to love, love a hang.

[Erin]

With Woody Harrelson, but when you threw.

[Joy Bryant]

Out Willie Nelson and then Snoop, that's tough because these are like the. Well, this is how you know her. Yeah, this is how I break it down. It's like there's platinum status gold, silver, bronze, and pewter. Now I have friends who are, like, platinum level stoners, like homies. And I know I can't smoke with them, but I know that if they were to get with, like, Snoop, Willie, or whoever, they would go toe to toe. One of my homegirls in New York, this bitch. One time we did edibles, and they were five milligram each. And of course, I did one, she did five, which means she had 60 milligrams to my five. And I was high, and she looked high, but she was totally functioning and kind of doing her shit.

[Erin]

Right.

[Joy Bryant]

And I was like, oh, yeah, girl.

[Erin]

Well, that is the weird question I kind of sometimes ask myself is if you wake and bake and you maintain and you're. Yeah. You're not altered. It's just curious. I'm not even sure that you know when you're stoned.

[Aaron]

You know what I'm saying?

[Joy Bryant]

Well, back in the day, I was who smoked all day, and I could function and do anything and everything.

[Erin]

Yeah.

[Joy Bryant]

But now I don't have that level of tolerance, so I can't just be smoking all day and handle the things that I need to handle.

[Erin]

So weirdly. Okay. And your tolerance went down. Yeah, I just interviewed Seth. He said he smoked with Snoop and he just got blown away. And I was like, oh, it's interesting. There are rungs.

[Joy Bryant]

So for me, on that scale, I'm like bronze to pewter because I do smoke probably more than the average person. There's different modalities that I tap into with weed.

[Erin]

Okay. And have you dabbled in. Another craze I'm noticing is a lot of people doing mushroom chocolate. Have you fucked with that?

[Joy Bryant]

Yes.

[Erin]

It's great, right?

[Joy Bryant]

It's fucking awesome. Remember that time I told you I walked from the Hollywood bowl past your house?

[Erin]

Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. You were chocolate at.

[Joy Bryant]

I mean, yeah, like that was not a great idea, but I did that.

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[Erin]

I mean, think about it.

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[Erin]

Or at least past the sixth grade.

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[Erin]

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[Erin]

What's great about this mushroom thing is you never knew when you were taking shrooms. I've eaten a pound of shrooms in my life. Aaron and I famously bought a half pound in Santa Cruz, which was two gallon sized Ziploc bags.

[Aaron]

Famously.

[Erin]

And we kept one gallon for our consumption. And then Aaron sold the other gallon in Detroit and we made for us a fucking fortune. I think we made like 1200 bucks or something and got a free quarter pound. Anyways. You didn't know what you were taking. You're like, I guess I'm doing four stems and six halves. Whoa, what is that? And even if people had scales like, well, weigh it three point. Well, how much of it is psilocybin inside of all these stems and shit? The notion that you can take that chocolate and you know exactly what it is is pretty radical.

[Joy Bryant]

Yeah.

[Aaron]

Did I tell you this was actually your chips premiere? I'm sure I never had mentioned. I was so embarrassed about it, but. So Scotty and I were staying in a hotel together. We were gonna go to your house. Cause your family was there. Mom and Dave Barton and everybody.

[Erin]

Oh, yeah. And I had.

[Aaron]

I hadn't seen anybody in a long time. But I was also really peeking in my fucking addiction and everything else at the time. In my mind this was a good idea because I thought it would keep me chill. Scotty went and got a candy bar and each little piece was 5 milligrams.

[Erin]

This is a weed or weed chocolate.

[Aaron]

Yeah. Yeah. So he fucking chomps like 10 of them down.

[Erin]

Wow.

[Aaron]

Like a crazy amount. And I know my. I can fucking do an ounce of coke and drink a crazy amount, but I can't smoke weed.

[Erin]

We've never been strong in that category, Aaron and I. I think it was.

[Aaron]

March Madness at the time setting this up. So we're gonna go to a bar, watch some basketball, have a couple beers, keep it chill. So we can go have dinner with you and the family. And then your premiere wasn't until the following day. I think I had one. A five milligram piece. We go to the bar. I lost my sight. I started when I realized my paranoia set in. The bar was busy. All of a sudden. I decided that the bartender didn't want me There or. No, just the waitress. We're sitting at a table. Although we're drinking and eating.

[Erin]

Yeah. Doing everything a waitress might want you to do.

[Aaron]

I was like, it was so strong. I can't be here anymore. Scotty was like, whoa, what the fuck? So, no, we'll stay. Thirty minutes later, I just go blind. I'm watching. I'm, like, looking outside, and it just is gone. I can barely see Scotty's orbit right next to me. And I'm like, no, no, no. Yeah. So fast forward to Scotty holding my hand and walking me back to the hotel.

[Erin]

You had to tell him at some point. I can't see.

[Aaron]

Yes, I told him I was completely blind.

[Erin]

Oh, my God. So what do you do with that ammo? Because you're like. Well, you're not. There's no way. Your eyes got damaged while we were watching this basketball game.

[Joy Bryant]

Oh, my God.

[Aaron]

Yeah. So he held my hand and walked me back, and I was like, just barely seeing shapes. I'm like, I'm gonna get hit by a car for sure.

[Joy Bryant]

Oh, my God. Thank God you weren't alone.

[Aaron]

So we get back, the pool. The pool was not even open. It's outside. I jump in it.

[Erin]

At my house.

[Aaron]

No, no, no. I'm at the hotel. You know, I'm like, I need some cold water.

[Erin]

I need. So I can see.

[Aaron]

Yeah. So I do that. Nothing. I go into the shower now it's almost time to leave for dinner. And I'm like, I can't see. And I was like, I can't function.

[Erin]

You still couldn't see.

[Aaron]

Yeah. So I remember Scotty called you or texted me and said, he's black.

[Erin]

Yeah.

[Aaron]

Weekly. You know, it's not having a.

[Erin]

Or whatever.

[Aaron]

I don't know how he worded it.

[Erin]

Yeah, I don't remember that. Okay.

[Aaron]

Yeah, well, you had a lot going on.

[Erin]

A lot going on.

[Aaron]

And I remember you weren't happy. You were disappointed, which was the worst part, of course. For me, I'm like, I wish he would just be mad at me. But no, he's disappointed and still loves me. And I'm off. So I called it a rap and, like, slept for 13 hours.

[Joy Bryant]

Yeah. Yeah. Cause that's what you gotta do. You gotta just go.

[Erin]

Honestly, I do wonder, though, if it was in your head, how it was disappointing.

[Aaron]

Possibly.

[Erin]

Yeah. Cause I have no memory of it. And just also, I can't imagine ever if someone's fucked up and they pull something like being judgmental. I just did it so much. I missed birthday parties. I was Late for Christmas. I would've just been like, oh, yeah, that makes sense. Yeah. Probably better he didn't roll up. Annihilate. Maybe even grateful, I feel like, is what I would have felt like.

[Aaron]

I'm with a cane and dark sunglasses.

[Joy Bryant]

You're like, what the f. Did he.

[Erin]

Get hot acid in his eyes?

[Joy Bryant]

Oh, my God.

[Aaron]

Yeah, you're surely right. I probably made that part up. Disappointed in my head because I was disappointed with myself.

[Joy Bryant]

You 1000% made it up.

[Aaron]

All you have to do is be chill for one day. And you can.

[Erin]

And you tried. That's what funny is. You tried.

[Joy Bryant]

Wait, so when you woke up just.

[Aaron]

Going to drink some beer. 100% went to the premiere that day. Saw you saw everyone getting hammered.

[Erin]

Oh, my God. Fuck it. I'm better off just getting hammered.

[Aaron]

Yeah. I'm like, let me go back to my old self.

[Erin]

Oh, what's this? Except.

[Aaron]

Oh, look at this.

[Erin]

No, I'm turning right. No. Roast duck by.

[Joy Bryant]

Stop it. Hey, Joe, Stop it.

[Erin]

Oh, my God. This feels like a blessing. Cause.

[Aaron]

Did you order?

[Joy Bryant]

It's me, guys.

[Aaron]

She ordered some ducks.

[Erin]

Oh, I see. Roasted ducks.

[Joy Bryant]

Get the fuck outta here.

[Erin]

Look at this. Oh, this is gonna be hard for Joy to not get nibbling on this duck.

[Aaron]

I'm fucking puke. When this duck gets in the car.

[Joy Bryant]

They not getting his order.

[Erin]

Bam.

[Joy Bryant]

Can you bring a menu out?

[Erin]

Can you bring a menu?

[Joy Bryant]

Holy shit.

[Erin]

I can't believe you desire duck that much.

[Aaron]

I love it.

[Erin]

It's like a kink for you.

[Joy Bryant]

It's like a kink.

[Erin]

It's a kink.

[Aaron]

I think he said, be real careful.

[Erin]

Be extra careful. It's extra greasy.

[Aaron]

Holding it like a baby.

[Joy Bryant]

Do you want me to put it back here?

[Erin]

No, he said keep it upright.

[Aaron]

No, I'll hold it.

[Joy Bryant]

Okay.

[Aaron]

This is my. You don't trust me make it.

[Erin]

I don't. Okay. Moral dumbfounding.

[Aaron]

All right, Joy, you're gonna like this. Corpse desecration, right?

[Joy Bryant]

Okay.

[Aaron]

A medical student alone in a lab finds an unclaimed cadaver. They decide to have sex with it, knowing that no one will ever find out and the person is already dead. Is this more or less?

[Erin]

Yeah. This one's really hard to not say it's absolutely wrong.

[Joy Bryant]

I think it's absolutely wrong because it's still a violation. You were not given consent. And then at that point, does the body belong to the family?

[Erin]

That's why I think he was clever in saying unclaimed.

[Aaron]

Unclaimed. Unclaimed.

[Erin]

You notice these clever things that he puts in there to prevent you from making that argument like, oh, the family would be upset.

[Joy Bryant]

I still think that it's a no go.

[Aaron]

Isn't it only a misdemeanor legal.

[Erin]

Is it?

[Joy Bryant]

Is it?

[Erin]

I gotta imagine that's a felony. Having sex.

[Aaron]

You don't think so?

[Erin]

Based on. Seriously?

[Aaron]

Unclaimed.

[Erin]

How about this? When I'm dead, I don't care what anyone does with my body, I'm dead.

[Joy Bryant]

You don't care if someone fucks you in the. Fucks you in the womb?

[Erin]

I don't care if someone to fuck.

[Joy Bryant]

Me in the womb.

[Erin]

I hope this. Hope someone can get some enjoyment out of my cause.

[Joy Bryant]

Fuck that. I care if some dude fucks me when I'm dead. I care about that. I don't want some random dude just fucking, like, busting off and I'm dead.

[Erin]

I bet we can make this harder really easily. And you say the cadaver's a man and rigor mortis caused his penis to stay erect and it's a woman who does it. You gotta admit it's different than a dude banging a female corpse, right?

[Joy Bryant]

Because that male is penetrating from versus.

[Erin]

No, I just think it's the moral dumbfoundedness. Right? Like, I just know guys are worse. They're doing all the raping.

[Joy Bryant]

They're doing all the raping.

[Erin]

If a gal gets off on a dead guy and then you also. You gotta assume a dead guy would definitely love for his dead body to be had sex with by a woman. Admittedly, I'm more open to a woman doing it to me than a man doing it to my corpse.

[Joy Bryant]

It's almost like you're donating your body to science.

[Erin]

In a way, yes. I'm donating it to. To someone who presumably can't otherwise have sex if they're having sex with a corpse. Okay, we'll put a pin in this. I'll be right back.

[Aaron]

Yep, yep, yep.

[Joy Bryant]

Hey, duck, let's pull up that menu.

[Erin]

What if you just wanted to meet them? Cause you're like, hey, I like duck a ton too.

[Joy Bryant]

Hey, do you have any extra? Can I come hang out? You guys, I'm like, obsessed with this fucking duck place. I can't think of anything else but this fucking duck. God damn it.

[Erin]

They own a cybertruck. What do you think? Love duck plus cybertruck just put you right back at the zero. That zero. It's a push.

[Joy Bryant]

Yeah, it's a push.

[Aaron]

Okay, so we were at the. What if it's a guy cadaver?

[Erin]

Yeah, I guess I'm asking. Are you more comfortable with a woman having sex with a male cadaver than a man having sex with a female cadaver.

[Joy Bryant]

That does kind of feel different.

[Erin]

Logically, I go, it's the same. But I.

[Joy Bryant]

But at the same time, it's.

[Erin]

This is similar to. We've debated at length whether it's okay to have sex with a dolphin, a human, because dolphins are so horny.

[Joy Bryant]

Dolphins are very horny.

[Erin]

They're the horniest. And what we have decided we feel comfortable with is a woman being in love with a male dolphin, but not a man being in love with a female dolphin. Because the male dolphin has to do the penetrating. We know it's consensual because he's initiating and doing it. And for some reason, that just feels a lot more better to me than a dude deciding that dolphin loved him back and wanted it. I don't trust a guy to make that.

[Aaron]

Which is always the case.

[Erin]

Yes. We don't have a great track record. So how do you feel about a woman and a male dolphin as lovers?

[Aaron]

I love it.

[Erin]

I do, too. I'm happy for both. I'm certainly stoked for the dolphin.

[Aaron]

Me, too.

[Erin]

Like, what a pimp. He's got interesting appeal, right?

[Aaron]

Yeah.

[Joy Bryant]

Did you just come up with a new morally dumbfounding question there?

[Erin]

I think so. Yeah. Yeah. I think I should pitch this. I'm gonna email this to Jonathan. Great news. I have a new one.

[Joy Bryant]

Bestiality. Is it okay with only a dolphin because they're super intelligent with dolphin dick and a consented.

[Erin]

Because we see them trying all the time. There's untold videos of these.

[Joy Bryant]

I was, like, obsessed with Naughty dolphins.

[Erin]

Naughty dolphins.

[Joy Bryant]

Dirty dolphins. Naughty dolphins.

[Erin]

Naughty Dolphins. Another great show. I would watch Dirty Dolphins, White Drama and Naughty Dolphins as a block. That's a solid couple hours of television.

[Joy Bryant]

Oh, my God. Dirty dolphins.

[Erin]

Back to the cadaver. Aaron, what do you think?

[Aaron]

Some people may not like this, but I don't think it's morally wrong.

[Joy Bryant]

Wait, did you say you don't think it's morally wrong? I did.

[Erin]

I did a lot of Mercy and 100 more.

[Aaron]

I think that person has a perv.

[Erin]

He's just having sex with a steak at that point.

[Aaron]

Yes.

[Erin]

The question is, is this dude nasty as hell? The nastiest.

[Joy Bryant]

The nastiest.

[Erin]

The nastiest.

[Aaron]

Yeah.

[Erin]

But again, I'm having a hard time finding the victim.

[Joy Bryant]

I still think the victim is the body.

[Erin]

Yeah.

[Joy Bryant]

Because it still lacks consent. And you are taking advantage of a body even though the body is no longer alive. It's Still a body. And so for those reasons, I would have the same issue if it was a woman with a dead hard dude.

[Aaron]

Same.

[Erin]

Well, I think this question also would be harder if you believed in an afterlife. Yeah, I think that's in the mix a little bit. Right.

[Aaron]

I think that's probably one of my main reasons.

[Erin]

I think that person doesn't exist anymore. So I don't think there's actually a person to consider.

[Joy Bryant]

I don't necessarily think that person exists anymore either. I still feel that it's still a body. It's still a human being, even though that human being is.

[Erin]

You don't have rights to just anybody.

[Joy Bryant]

Fine, I don't.

[Erin]

That's fair. But I do think if you are deeply Christian and you believe you'll be in heaven watching this person violate your corpse, it's easy to find a way to victimhood in that if you believe you'll be in heaven and could somehow observe this.

[Joy Bryant]

Yeah, see, I don't believe in that. I'm not religious at all necessarily. But I just believe in you crossing a line, man. Yeah, that's a fucking line.

[Erin]

This is what I will say of all these lines.

[Joy Bryant]

You're crossing a line.

[Erin]

Of all these lines.

[Joy Bryant]

Take your dick somewhere else, dude. Why you gotta. That's like, would you wanna go to a fucking grave and dig up some shit and like the same thing.

[Erin]

Let's paint the most generous defense of the person possible for one second, which is, I didn't pick what I'm into. Luckily, I happen to be into women who are my age and have been my whole life. I'm not a good person. Cause I picked peers my age who I want to consent.

[Joy Bryant]

Okay?

[Erin]

That's just how I am. I don't think anyone picks being a pedophile. No one's trying to be a pedophile. I think that's a terrible way to go through life on planet Earth. I mean, what would you do? So I don't think anyone picks that. So let's just assume for a second there is someone, guy or a girl, who they were born. The only thing they ever are gonna wanna have sex with is a corpse. They didn't decide that. That's just how it is. They're never gonna have sex with an alive person. If they're ever gonna be sexual in their whole life, it's gonna be with a corpse. And now they're in this situation where it's like, oh, here's this corpse. They're dead. It's not like they're gonna be upset or in any dis. Now's my chance. I'm mildly sympathetic if there's someone that was born that way, and that's just how they are, and I just got lucky, and it's easy to be like me. That's as good of an argument as I could maybe make. You're still out.

[Aaron]

But if it's a normal person like you like, and you're just warning, you're.

[Erin]

Like, I'm either gonna jerk off, sure, yeah, I'm a piece of shit. Yeah, I'm a lazy piece. Like, fuck, I was gonna jerk off. But this seems a little bit easier. It seems like 5% easier. Can you imagine?

[Aaron]

That seems easier than Jack.

[Erin]

And. Well, that's where you get into the weirder conversation is like, what dudes do in prison. That one's really interesting.

[Joy Bryant]

Is that one of the questions too?

[Erin]

No, but I'm just now thinking about the notion that there are dudes who will fuck other guys while they're in prison and get oral from them and then get out and never do that again. That's not their preference, but in a pinch, they'll do it. And then I used to watch that show, Hookers on the Point.

[Joy Bryant]

Love that show.

[Erin]

It's the best show ever, right? Remember? And the narrator.

[Joy Bryant]

Yeah, I gotta call you back, girl.

[Erin]

I'm sucking dick right now, verbatim. I love the narrator, the narrator. This is how he talks. He go. He go. The ladies on the Point are working hard to match sucking and fucking. Like, and then.

[Joy Bryant]

That's so good. Do you think we can find that on Max?

[Erin]

I don't know that it's on there, unfortunately, but that was Nate and I's show. We loved watching Hookers on the Pointe to Go. And our favorite episode, which was so confusing, was this guy had picked up one of our heroes from the show, the white chick with no teeth. She's like, how are you tonight, baby? He's like, good, I just got out of prison today. And she's like, oh, welcome home, baby. She starts blowing them in the middle of it. Now he's getting really into it. And he's like, oh, fuck, I want some balls in my mouth. Oh, no, it ain't our. And we're like, whoa, what's happening in this man's mind? He got a female hooker, but now he's like, I want some balls in my mouth. And he said it a few times. And she goes, oh, you kinky. And I was like, that's more the service that a sex worker might provide than people might Think. Right? Which is you might think they're just there to have an orgasm. But the acceptance that those gals have of whatever anyone thinks is. Is nice. Right? Like, maybe you are in quotes. You're straight. Or who cares? You want a woman to blow you, but you want to talk about sucking balls the whole time.

[Joy Bryant]

Yeah, that's okay.

[Erin]

That's okay.

[Aaron]

Yeah.

[Joy Bryant]

And I don't think that makes you whatever.

[Erin]

I mean, we don't have a category. We don't need a category for this.

[Joy Bryant]

Isn't that about the sort of fluidity of sexuality and things like that? Right. And I think that also plays into how men could potentially have sex with each other in prison, but get out. And they're like, okay, well, that was then.

[Erin]

So, yeah. When Nate and I lived together, we were in our different bedrooms. Every morning we'd be doing our computer work, and every now. And I'd just hear from down the hallway, the ladies are working hard tonight on the porch.

[Joy Bryant]

Ooh, yeah. Yeah. So I was vegetarian from 94 until 2018. And during that time, I was like a pescalactitarian. I would have.

[Erin]

Wait, say those years again. I wanna do the fast math. What is it? 94.

[Joy Bryant]

94 to 2018.

[Erin]

So 24 years. And when I met you, I was vegetarian. You were vegetarian. You were starting to fuck with fish sticks. We need to tell that story en route to this answer. The salmon sticks.

[Joy Bryant]

Oh, no. Damn it. Oh, my God.

[Erin]

Let's tell Erin that really quick.

[Aaron]

It is.

[Erin]

It is.

[Aaron]

Please.

[Erin]

It is.

[Joy Bryant]

Okay. So when we were filming Parenthood, I was clearly such a grimy bitch.

[Erin]

And also, let me just say, from my point of view, I had met Joy before Parenthood. I'm like, oh, this is one of the most beautiful women on the planet. I thought that every time I met her, right? And now I'm on the show with her and we're playing fiances.

[Joy Bryant]

Yeah.

[Erin]

I'm like, I hit the lottery. Is this who I have to kiss? Is this former supermodel? So just know going into it, I'm like, I hit the lottery. Okay, sorry, go ahead.

[Joy Bryant]

I was just a regular model. I wasn't really a supermodel, but I hear what you're saying. So on this one day, we have this scene where we're gonna kiss in the lead up to this scene, he has watched me. Cause at that time, I was smoking cigarettes. So he'd watch me have a cigarette with a cup of coffee. Then he watches me. Like, you know, a little time goes up on craft service. I'm Eating a hard boiled egg.

[Erin]

Boiled egg.

[Joy Bryant]

Or it could have been either hard boiled or like, what do you call them? Oh, devil. It was either hard boiled devil. Either one. It's like in a pie boil.

[Erin]

Going hard on the eggs in the morning.

[Joy Bryant]

Going hard on the eggs in the morning. Then I had like some salmon sticks or something.

[Erin]

She was gnawing on a salmon stick.

[Joy Bryant]

To a cigarette and some coffee. I'm missing something. There was one more thing that I.

[Erin]

Was like, those are the four I remember. It was like coffee, cigarettes, fucking eggs.

[Aaron]

Eggs and salmon sticks.

[Joy Bryant]

And I'm just. You.

[Erin]

I'm watching it and I'm like, this is a real fuck you to me.

[Joy Bryant]

He loves it. I know.

[Aaron]

What did I do?

[Joy Bryant]

So then he finally goes, you gotta pick one. You can't do all four. Okay. You can't smoke, drink coffee, eat hard boiled eggs and salmon sticks and then expect to kiss me. You gotta pick one. And I don't even care what it is. You can't do all four.

[Erin]

I can't do the cornucopia.

[Joy Bryant]

You cannot do all four. You gotta pick one. I was like, oh, damn. You know what? My bad.

[Erin]

That.

[Joy Bryant]

You know what? I changed my life.

[Aaron]

Oh my God.

[Joy Bryant]

Changed my life.

[Aaron]

Love that story.

[Erin]

Yeah. Cuz for three of them, I'm like, I can't say anything. But once the salmon sticks came out, I'm like, okay, I'm going to have to.

[Joy Bryant]

That's how I know that this is my boy right here.

[Aaron]

A salmon stick, bro.

[Joy Bryant]

He was like some kind of salmon jerky or something.

[Aaron]

Sure.

[Erin]

Fish jerk.

[Aaron]

Real salty fish.

[Joy Bryant]

You can't do all four. You got to pick one thing.

[Erin]

I'm only. Look at the size of this nose. I can smell and taste that.

[Joy Bryant]

What the fuck? Pick one thing. And ever since then I'm like, it's only one thing.

[Erin]

My two favorite moments along those lines is like, you're acting together, you're friends, and then you have to hook up sometimes. And so I'm trying to be cool and I say to Joy, like, before we have this crazy scene, do you want to have a boundaries conversation? Like, I want to make sure I don't do anything, you know? And Joey goes, you can do whatever the fuck you want. Don't touch my hair. And I'm like, wow, I'm so glad we had this conversation. Because you better touch a white chick's hair. She's expecting you to do something. It's like, that's standard for a white.

[Joy Bryant]

Girl, is like, put your fucking fingers on her, man.

[Erin]

That scene is very nice. So that conversation yielded some learning.

[Joy Bryant]

I've lightened up a little bit more.

[Erin]

Okay, okay.

[Joy Bryant]

I mean, you can touch it.

[Erin]

Well, and then it led to her going like, no, no, listen. I wear a head scarf at night. That's what it's called.

[Joy Bryant]

Yeah. I mean, I guess now people doing bonnets, but like, I would do with a scarf.

[Erin]

Yeah. And she's like, listen, I put my hair in a scarf at night, and if I don't have my scarf on, Dave knows. Okay, it's time. And I go, oh, my God. This is an incredible indicator. Not all women should have head scarfs on. No.

[Joy Bryant]

But also, I will take it off if it evolves. Keep it on. But, like, I'm gonna take it off. That's just so.

[Aaron]

I think this food deliver is pretty. Pretty fun.

[Erin]

I did, too.

[Joy Bryant]

I do think you need to have food.

[Erin]

There's two arguments to be made. One is like, now we're so hungry.

[Joy Bryant]

I'm so hungry.

[Erin]

Yeah. And we're gonna fucking have so much fun eating.

[Joy Bryant]

Oh, my God.

[Erin]

Yeah. We're gonna really go for it. We're gonna have to order duck pizza. Everything we picked up.

[Joy Bryant]

Yeah. Wings.

[Erin]

Well, Joanna, love you.

[Joy Bryant]

Oh, my God. Thanks.

[Erin]

Thanks for coming Mom's car with us and delivering some food.

[Joy Bryant]

This was so much fun. I'm so Sam.