Monica Lewinsky Returns

Summary

Armchair Expert with Dax Shepard
Episode: Monica Lewinsky Returns
Release Date: April 21, 2025

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Overview

In this compelling episode of Armchair Expert, host Dax Shepard welcomes Monica Lewinsky back to the show alongside Monica Padman. The conversation centers around Monica Lewinsky's journey of reclaiming her identity, her new podcast Reclaiming with Monica Lewinsky, and the broader themes of self-awareness, personal growth, trauma, and managing fame. Through honest and vulnerable discussions, the episode delves deep into the complexities of being human and the continuous process of healing and self-improvement.

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1. Introduction to Monica Lewinsky’s New Podcast

Dax Shepard kicks off the episode by introducing Monica Lewinsky and her new podcast, Reclaiming with Monica Lewinsky. He highlights the podcast's focus on reclaiming one's identity and celebrating personal growth through challenges.

• Dax Shepard [00:29]:
  "She has a new podcast out called Reclaiming with Monica Lewinsky. She has incredible guests."

Monica Padman echoes this sentiment, emphasizing Monica Lewinsky's openness in sharing her unique life experiences, hoping it resonates with many listeners.

• Monica Padman [00:48]:
  "She's generous in talking about it, which is really nice and helpful. Like, she said so many things that I think are going to resonate with a lot of people."

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2. Reclaiming Identity and Personal Growth

The discussion shifts to the concept of reclaiming one's identity. Monica Lewinsky defines reclaiming as taking back what was lost or taken away, ultimately leading to personal triumph.

• Monica Lewinsky [57:54]:
  "I would define reclaiming as to take back what was yours. So something you possess is lost or stolen, and ultimately you triumph in finding it again."

She shares her experiences over the past decade, including personal spiritual growth and conscious efforts to rebuild her narrative without being defined solely by past scandals.

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3. Self-Awareness and Behavioral Changes

Monica Lewinsky and Monica Padman explore the depths of self-awareness, discussing whether it’s an illusion or a genuine tool for personal development.

• Monica Lewinsky [08:00]:
  "If the self awareness weren't real, you wouldn't have these. You wouldn't be correcting course in behavior."

Monica Lewinsky emphasizes that self-awareness allows individuals to mature, heal, and continue evolving, even if complete transformation isn't possible.

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4. Managing Fame and Public Narrative

A significant portion of the conversation revolves around fame and how Monica Lewinsky has navigated her public persona to reclaim her true self.

• Monica Lewinsky [20:05]:
  "Fame is just more people knowing who you are than you know of the other."

She discusses the dichotomy of being a public figure versus maintaining personal privacy and the emotional toll it takes. Monica Padman and Dax Shepard commend her efforts to manage her narrative with integrity.

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5. Relationships and Anxious Attachment

The episode delves into Monica Lewinsky's experiences with relationships, particularly her traits as an "anxious attacher," and the challenges that come with seeking reassurance and maintaining healthy partnerships.

• Monica Lewinsky [25:09]:
  "Being in relationships where I always think people are mad at me has been challenging."

They discuss the complexities of forming meaningful connections while managing personal insecurities and the importance of self-acceptance in building lasting relationships.

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6. Trauma, Healing, and Acceptance

Monica Lewinsky opens up about her trauma from past experiences, including the distressing time she spent listening to taped conversations during the Clinton-Lewinsky scandal. She highlights the importance of healing and accepting parts of herself that have evolved over time.

• Monica Lewinsky [44:18]:
  "It's so freeing to just be very happy with who I am and very comfortable with who I am."

She shares how acceptance has played a crucial role in her healing process, allowing her to move forward without being tethered to past narratives.

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7. Reclaiming Emotional Calmness

Monica Lewinsky discusses her efforts to reclaim her emotional calmness, such as managing road rage and other intense emotions. This segment highlights her commitment to personal growth and emotional regulation.

• Monica Lewinsky [38:21]:
  "I've reclaimed my calm, and it's become an ethos in my life."

Dax Shepard expresses admiration for her integrity and the positive impact of her efforts on her overall well-being.

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8. Notable Quotes

• Monica Lewinsky on Reclaiming:
  "Reclaiming my narrative has been about taking back what was stolen from me and finding my true self again." ([37:34])

• Monica Lewinsky on Self-Awareness:
  "If the self awareness weren't real, you wouldn't have these. You wouldn't be correcting course in behavior." ([08:00])

• Monica Lewinsky on Healing:
  "It's so freeing to just be very happy with who I am and very comfortable with who I am." ([44:18])

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9. Conclusion

The episode concludes with Monica Lewinsky expressing gratitude for her personal growth and the opportunity to help others through her podcast. She emphasizes the importance of storytelling in healing and connecting with others who have faced similar challenges.

• Monica Lewinsky [58:56]:
  "My hope is that people will finish an episode of Reclaiming and feel like they filled their tank up, they connected with the people that I'm talking to, and leave with maybe some nuggets that help them feel a little more hopeful."

Dax Shepard and Monica Padman commend her for her bravery and the positive direction of her work, leaving listeners with a sense of hope and inspiration.

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Final Thoughts

This episode serves as a profound exploration of Monica Lewinsky's ongoing journey to reclaim her identity and redefine her narrative. Through honest dialogue and insightful reflections, listeners gain a deeper understanding of the complexities of personal growth, the challenges of managing public perception, and the enduring strength of the human spirit.

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Transcript

[Dax Shepard]

Wondry plus subscribers can listen to Armchair Expert early and ad free. Right now. Join Wondry plus in the Wondry app or on Apple Podcasts or you can listen for free wherever you get your podcasts. Welcome, welcome, welcome to Armchair Expert. I'm Dax Shepard and I'm joined by Monica Lilly Padman.

[Monica Padman]

And it's important that you make that.

[Dax Shepard]

Clear today because there's two Monicas here today.

[Monica Padman]

Yeah.

[Dax Shepard]

On a second trip.

[Monica Padman]

Yes.

[Dax Shepard]

Monica Lewinsky.

[Monica Padman]

Welcome back. Monica Lewinsky.

[Dax Shepard]

Yes. This was really fun. I really enjoyed this one. She has a new podcast out called Reclaiming with Monica Lewinsky. She has incredible guests.

[Monica Padman]

Yeah.

[Dax Shepard]

And the theme's really awesome. It's about reclaiming your identity.

[Monica Padman]

Yes. Obviously she has had a very unique life.

[Dax Shepard]

Yeah.

[Monica Padman]

And she's generous in talking about it, which is. Which is really nice and helpful. Like, she said so many things that I think are going to resonate with a lot of people.

[Dax Shepard]

Yeah.

[Monica Padman]

She said one thing that I was thinking about for days.

[Dax Shepard]

What?

[Monica Padman]

I don't want to say it.

[Dax Shepard]

Oh, you don't want to spoil it.

[Monica Padman]

Yeah, I don't want to spoil it. I just think. I think it's going to hit with some people and I hope it does. And bts, we were in some emails after and Emma was talking to her team and they were like, it's so confusing between the Monicas.

[Dax Shepard]

Yeah.

[Monica Padman]

So they had to start referring to it as my Monica.

[Dax Shepard]

Oh, I like that. My Monica.

[Monica Padman]

Yeah.

[Dax Shepard]

Please enjoy. Not a Monica Lewinsky. We are supported by Skims.

[Monica Padman]

Oh, I just got some new skim swag from their ultimate bra collection. I am loving it. They make such good bras. They have, you know. Well, you might not know this, but a lot of push up bras are like bulky and they have this like piece of it. I don't know. I just don't. They're coming like them. Yes.

[Dax Shepard]

And there's wires and stuff.

[Monica Padman]

There's all kinds of accoutrement that I don't love. Yeah. But Skims has one that I was like, oh, they sent me a push up bra and then I love it.

[Dax Shepard]

Of course.

[Monica Padman]

It's so great.

[Dax Shepard]

They can't miss shop. Skims ultimate bra collection and [e-mail] and SKIMS LA flagship on Sunset Boulevard. After you place your order, be sure to let them know we sent you. Select podcast in the survey and select our show in the dropdown menu that follows. We are supported by Addie Flavanserin. The little pink pill. Ask your doctor if the FDA approved little pink Pill Addy is right for you. See full prescribing information, medication guide, and boxed warning regarding severe low blood pressure and fainting in certain settings@a d d y I.com PI or call 844-PINK PILL.

[Aaron Stinchcomb]

He's an object.

[Monica Padman]

Rob found that. I didn't even know about it, and apparently I was in the dark people made fun of.

[Dax Shepard]

But you love it, right? I love it immediately. Yeah. You and Rob could have some weird male, female homegoods store that would service both kinds of. Exactly.

[Monica Lewinsky]

Thank you. Feel so short in this.

[Monica Padman]

It's a little.

[Dax Shepard]

You know what's nice is the complaints are universal. They're not consistent. No one likes it, but for a myriad of reasons. So we can't even really figure out how to fix it. This is the third couch.

[Monica Lewinsky]

Oh, okay.

[Dax Shepard]

And again, it's not like everyone's like, it's too deep or it's too shallow or it's. It's just. For you now it's too short or I'm too short.

[Monica Padman]

I think it is. I think people sink in it a little bit.

[Dax Shepard]

Okay.

[Monica Padman]

Okay.

[Dax Shepard]

How are you doing? Good.

[Monica Lewinsky]

I'm a little tired. I was like, oh, this is not the kind of mindset you want to be. And go to try to sound like a human.

[Monica Padman]

No.

[Monica Lewinsky]

And I also keep thinking there's an earthquake happening today. What is that about?

[Monica Padman]

Is there?

[Monica Lewinsky]

No.

[Dax Shepard]

Like, you have a premonition or you're feeling it.

[Monica Lewinsky]

I know. It was, like, three times today. I sort of was. Oh, was that an earthquake?

[Dax Shepard]

Okay, so a little on edge maybe?

[Monica Lewinsky]

I don't know.

[Monica Padman]

You're anxious?

[Monica Lewinsky]

Is that it?

[Monica Padman]

You think?

[Monica Lewinsky]

Okay.

[Dax Shepard]

Would it comfort you at all to know that I, too, don't feel energized? Good.

[Monica Lewinsky]

Okay.

[Monica Padman]

Me either, actually.

[Monica Lewinsky]

Oh. Maybe it's some weird thing with the moon or. I have.

[Monica Padman]

March has a lot of astrological issues.

[Dax Shepard]

Oh, tell us about them, please.

[Monica Padman]

A couple retrogrades. Some other big things.

[Monica Lewinsky]

Mercury's in retrograde, which makes sense that here I am coming back to the podcast.

[Monica Padman]

Circling all the way back.

[Dax Shepard]

What? Do I have a hair? Oh, I have hair. Oh, oh, oh, they're so precious. I'm fighting so hard for every one of them. Do you have. Let me start there. We're of the same age.

[Monica Lewinsky]

When's your birthday?

[Dax Shepard]

January 2nd. I just turned 50.

[Monica Lewinsky]

Oh, no, no, I'm older.

[Dax Shepard]

Yeah, you're like, a year and a half older.

[Monica Lewinsky]

Okay.

[Dax Shepard]

Get over it.

[Monica Lewinsky]

But congratulations.

[Dax Shepard]

Oh, thank you.

[Monica Padman]

Right, Exactly.

[Dax Shepard]

Really well played.

[Monica Lewinsky]

Did you buy a jumpsuit on your 50th birthday?

[Dax Shepard]

I already own like six. I had a whole jumpsuit phase like two years ago.

[Monica Padman]

It was a good phase.

[Dax Shepard]

But I guess what I'm asking, is there any thing you're in a full fledged battle with? So for me it's my hair density.

[Monica Lewinsky]

Okay.

[Dax Shepard]

And I'm applying with a dropper in the morning and at. And I hate what it does to my hair. It makes it really crunchy and greasy and I'm like, yeah, I just gotta fucking deal with it.

[Monica Lewinsky]

I think sometimes the old issues that you kind of go, wow, I've been working on this for a really long time. You just observe it showing up in a different way. So I think I had one of those this morning of huh. I don't want to get too detailed, but I've talked about this thing that's probably not the thing you should talk about when you have a first conversation with somebody that you've been set up with romantically, probably not the thing to talk about. Intimate overshare, probably it was an overshare and I felt really comfortable with the person, which was nice. But then after I just thought, okay. But I also told that same story the other week to in a way that was a little inappropriate. Clearly there's something that I need to deal with about this whole thing. I know it sounds super cryptic. Sorry.

[Dax Shepard]

No, I love it. I really want to have coffee so I can be told the same thing and then levy a verdict. There's two ways to think about it though, right? One is you go ahead and be you and you're going to weed out whoever that's not the right fit for them.

[Monica Lewinsky]

Because that served me really well for 52 years.

[Dax Shepard]

Well, that's what I was going to say.

[Monica Lewinsky]

51 and a half years.

[Dax Shepard]

So that's one side that's defendable, but then the other side is exactly that. Yeah, I do that. And it does weed out people. And I think the people I'm weeding out are the people are probably better matches for me. And I'm probably attracting like minded, hyper explosive, overly intimate, very quick. And you gotta figure out which side of the line you're on.

[Monica Lewinsky]

I think we're all very self aware people here who are aware of ourselves, our emotions, our behaviors, how we want to show up in the world as opposed to how we do actually show up in the world. Right. And so you just keep trying to chip away and move towards something and they're just those moments where you go.

[Monica Padman]

Okay, I'm not there yet.

[Dax Shepard]

Yeah, I agree that we all think we are, but do you Think it's an illusion of self awareness, huh?

[Monica Lewinsky]

Say more on that.

[Dax Shepard]

Yeah, yeah. So I guess what I'm saying is I think we are all semi self aware and we know how to read a room, we know how to do this stuff, but we are who we are and at best it's a con and at worst we're not even impressing upon people what we think we are. I think a lot of us have the illusion of it, but really we all know who each other is.

[Monica Lewinsky]

I'm gonna show off for a second.

[Dax Shepard]

Yeah, do it.

[Monica Lewinsky]

My therapist told me last week she made a comment about can you see how much you've changed and how much you've evolved and healed in these certain areas?

[Monica Padman]

Yeah.

[Monica Lewinsky]

Come on. That's a win.

[Dax Shepard]

Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Monica Lewinsky]

If the self awareness weren't real, you wouldn't have these. You wouldn't be course correcting in behavior. So are you going to become somebody totally different to who you were in your natural state? Probably not. But I think we can mature and heal and fall.

[Dax Shepard]

Yeah, I do too. I don't think this is binary. I don't think it's like. You're right. I don't think it's binary. I don't think it's like self awareness is a total illusion and you can actually know how you're coming across. I think there's a big gray area in spectrum there.

[Monica Lewinsky]

I mean, it's interesting. I don't know why this is what comes up, but I remember when I was learning how to do public speaking for my Forbes talk and then the TED Talk, I worked with someone who's a delivery coach because the way you think you're delivering something in your head may not be how the audience is receiving it.

[Dax Shepard]

Ooh, that's a great question for your podcast.

[Monica Lewinsky]

Yeah.

[Dax Shepard]

Because I had the very, very stark example of listening to me argue with Kristen.

[Monica Lewinsky]

Yes. In your early.

[Dax Shepard]

Oh, that's not how I think I argue in my head. The experience is way different than now. I'm objectively listening to it. Have you had some aha moments if you had to listen now to yourself.

[Monica Lewinsky]

For hours on so many levels? There is one, which is the fact that I'm so lucky. I have super deep trauma of having to hear my own voice because of Linda Tripp taping me for 20 hours. And then I had to authenticate the tapes.

[Dax Shepard]

Oh, you did? Yeah.

[Monica Lewinsky]

So I had to sit in the independent counsel's office listening. It was awful.

[Dax Shepard]

Oh, my God. Hold on one second, one second, one second.

[Monica Padman]

That's torture.

[Monica Lewinsky]

No, it was. That's what they should have in Guantanamo, even.

[Dax Shepard]

Take it out of the insane context it was in if you just said, hey, by the way, we have 20 hours of you and your friend Aaron talking. Now sit here and listen to it. The things I would say with Aaron and I at a table. There's no way I wouldn't be. I couldn't make it through 20 minutes of chatting.

[Monica Lewinsky]

Oh, no. It was so awful.

[Dax Shepard]

Whoa.

[Monica Lewinsky]

If you were asked to recall a conversation, you would probably not remember all the likes, the ums.

[Monica Padman]

Oh, yeah.

[Monica Lewinsky]

You would try to remember the smart, erudite things you said.

[Monica Padman]

Yeah, exactly.

[Dax Shepard]

Incredible point you made.

[Monica Lewinsky]

Exactly. Not this snarky things that you say about people you love. And I never liked the sound of my voice to begin with. So all of that. And then, of course, they became public.

[Dax Shepard]

You had come to terms at least with. That's how my voice sounds. Right? You'd already crossed that. Oh, no, no.

[Monica Padman]

Okay.

[Monica Lewinsky]

It was just pushed down on the list of awful things. There's that where it's just like, my voice, my voice, my voice. And then also this thing about repeating myself. Even. I listened to our first chat, half of it on the way here, because I was like, what if I tell all the same stories again? What if I'm actually not as interesting as I think I am?

[Dax Shepard]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Monica Lewinsky]

But I think, too, in terms of listening, it took me a handful of interviews to feel like, okay, maybe I cracked this. And I was so proud of myself. And then I listened and I was like, oh, I wasn't actually. Maybe it was good because I didn't say very much this time.

[Dax Shepard]

Monica, have you broken any bad habits? Yeah, Monica edits, so she has to hear every single thing she says. I at least get a version. And by the time I hear it, it's been dramatically cleaned up. So even at that, I've got a lot of work to do.

[Monica Padman]

The editing process is very interesting, especially. I'm kind of pivoting, I guess, a little bit. But especially if it's a fact check and Dax and I are in something heated. Having to edit that is always tricky because first of all, I'm like, I have to hear that again. Normally, if you're in, like, an argument with someone, you leave. You both retain the thing.

[Dax Shepard]

Step away from it.

[Monica Padman]

Yes, you step away from it. So you have distance, so then it fades. Also, you leave thinking you were right or the points you made were right.

[Dax Shepard]

I think of the ethics all the time that you have to have when you're editing arguments between us. You have so much integrity. Because to keep in a great point that someone your adversary in quotes made. It's gotta be more.

[Monica Lewinsky]

And not adding lots of ums.

[Monica Padman]

Yeah.

[Monica Lewinsky]

Jay's sticking the scrap bag of all the ums.

[Monica Padman]

It's made me better just as being able to be objective about the show. Because there are times where I am like, I Monica, wanna keep this in because I think I come off better or it's the point I've been trying to make.

[Dax Shepard]

Yes.

[Monica Padman]

And he is doing the thing I'm saying he's doing. But I know it's not additive to the show. It's not good. It's gonna make people mad and I have to cut it. But there's so many times that I leave and I'm like, I'm keeping that in.

[Monica Lewinsky]

Yeah, yeah. I'm not killing this, darling.

[Monica Padman]

This one's gonna be there. I'm gonna leave it. And then I in the edit and I'm like, I gotta get rid of it.

[Dax Shepard]

She has a ton of integrity. I just wan the rooftop. She has incredible integrity. And often I imagine myself in the same situation as her. And I think I have integrity. But it would be really hard. Forget whether or not I could pull it off. It would just be like, fuck. Okay.

[Monica Padman]

Also, I think in some ways it's bad for us because this happened recently. We had a couple people on the show that I have very different opinions with.

[Monica Lewinsky]

Wait, can you say who?

[Monica Padman]

Yeah. Andrew Schultz, who came out today. It was a great episode. I was very happy with it.

[Monica Lewinsky]

Comedian, Right?

[Monica Padman]

The comedian. And then someone we haven't had on yet. So I'm not gonna say who Adolf hit. We had slightly different views.

[Monica Lewinsky]

Slightly.

[Monica Padman]

Yeah.

[Dax Shepard]

Vladimir Putin.

[Monica Padman]

You know, we do these episodes and then we leave. But then I that week was editing both of those episodes. So then when we came into the fact check, I came in so hot, loaded for bear.

[Dax Shepard]

One way. Yes.

[Monica Padman]

Because I was in this other zone. And then he just wants to talk about regular stuff. I'm like, no, men are a problem. And he's like, why are you saying this? And it's because I've just been in this mindset. It's really hard to compartmentalize.

[Monica Lewinsky]

And it's in your ear. You're listening.

[Monica Padman]

Yes.

[Monica Lewinsky]

Did you have a background in storytelling that led you to the editing part?

[Monica Padman]

Emma, one of our producers, she gave me a really good compliment the other day. Cuz I love writing and I write a lot.

[Monica Lewinsky]

Writer this Monica is too. I'm just kidding.

[Monica Padman]

Yeah, Monica's in the room.

[Monica Lewinsky]

I know.

[Monica Padman]

And Emma said. Cuz I was like, oh yeah, I do want to eventually like do more writing. No, no, do more writing. And she was like, you write every time you edit an episode and she gets a cleanup of it. So she sees it. She's like, you're doing that, you're creating a story. I was like, that's nice.

[Dax Shepard]

Well, she's a great writer. She's written tons of stuff for Kristen over the years. Prior to being here. She was a UCB person. So she has the background to do it. But no one should ever feel bad for us. We have literally the nicest job in the best ever. We go through stuff, it's just random order. You can't predict it. It just happens to be two male comedians that have this stuff that happen because they both have specials coming up and then for two or three weeks of our life, both through the interview, then the edit, then the fact check. We can't not be in the cloud of that experience. And it is just kind of funny, I guess. It's great actually. It keeps life novel, which is we're always in some weird cloud of whatever.

[Monica Padman]

The guests were and we're being authentic. I mean, I guess that's the other thing. We're maybe trying to compartmentalize, but it's really hard to do. You're gonna bring in where you're at mentally.

[Dax Shepard]

How deep do you get when you hear it? Has pretty much a good pass been done?

[Monica Lewinsky]

Yeah. For the most I'm hearing version two, but then sometimes I'll go back to the assembly for the interview and then I have a great moment of being like, wow, you fucking didn't ask that question. How could you not ask that question? As a follow up of assuming I had asked it and just passing judgment on people going, why would you cut that from the conversation? And then turns out it's not essential. I'm so glad you're laughing at me.

[Monica Padman]

No. It's such an insular, weird thing.

[Monica Lewinsky]

It is, it is.

[Dax Shepard]

Has it been hard for you to ask the next deeper question? Like they've offered to pursue a road. It happened one second ago. You say the Linda Tripp tapes.

[Monica Lewinsky]

Uh huh.

[Dax Shepard]

I like you. I don't want you to have to get embroiled in any of it. Also that's fascinating. I need to know more about sitting and listening to a conversation. Right. So it's like those little nudges you have to give yourself, those come easy or hard for you?

[Monica Lewinsky]

They're hard for me. Probably a little bit because I'm codependent. It's really important for me that somebody comes to have a chat. They just feel protected. Exactly, Exactly. I don't wanna trigger anybody. I don't want someone to be upset. So I think it's probably that.

[Dax Shepard]

Yeah.

[Monica Lewinsky]

And then still, because I just did my 12th interview, that's still kind of new. I'm definitely present. I'm definitely having conversations that are interesting to me and exciting to me, but I still feel like I could be more present.

[Dax Shepard]

Not as worried about that thing you're creating.

[Monica Lewinsky]

Right. Or trusting myself too. Just trusting yourself that you can sit down and have a conversation with someone. I think especially with the show and the theme of reclaiming, it's not hard hitting. And so my assumption has been I can sit down and have a conversation with anyone and it'll flow out.

[Monica Padman]

It's not. Something will come.

[Monica Lewinsky]

Right. But that takes trusting yourself, this experience.

[Dax Shepard]

I think as you just get more and more confident, oh, the thing will happen. It always happens.

[Monica Lewinsky]

As I keep staring at your 500 million dreams. Yeah, turn that around. Come on.

[Monica Padman]

Yeah.

[Monica Lewinsky]

That was for a newbie podcaster. It's a bit Brad, but that's amazing.

[Dax Shepard]

But back to the thing of asking the follow up question. I think as long as the next follow up question is something that I'm really interested in, that you might think is too vulnerable. But I know and trust in my heart that the answer to this is not going to alienate you to people. It'll actually endear you to people. I'll make those judgment calls right. Where it's like, yeah, they went to five. My interest is I want seven. What happened after that? And if I have a lot of faith in the fact that that piece of information will just make you love the person even more, then I don't mind, kind of.

[Monica Lewinsky]

Do you want to ask me something so that people love me more?

[Dax Shepard]

Oh, it'll happen. It'll happen.

[Monica Padman]

Actually, haven't you felt that over time, just you, the more people have gotten.

[Dax Shepard]

To know you, you're pretty universally.

[Monica Padman]

Yeah. I've only heard amazing things about you. Obviously we think that too.

[Dax Shepard]

As much as people hate that couch is how much people all love you. It's like kind of universal.

[Monica Lewinsky]

That is very nice to hear. It actually was a span of a year for me. So I turned 50 the year before in 2023 and was 10 years in 2024 from my first Vanity Fair piece. And I did a lot of personal spiritual growth work going into my new decade and into this last year. And the number of. I don't know. See, you're making me emotional. But the number of times in that period that I just would pull the car over because I'd start to cry or be in conversation with someone and just thinking about how things had changed in a way for me that I just never could have imagined. And I'm so, so grateful.

[Dax Shepard]

Yeah. You said turning 40 was absolutely miserable.

[Monica Lewinsky]

Yeah.

[Dax Shepard]

But turning 50 was fine.

[Monica Lewinsky]

It was great, actually. I had a lot of acceptance.

[Dax Shepard]

You were kind of in a coma for a decade, right?

[Monica Padman]

Yeah.

[Dax Shepard]

And then 40 to 50, you came.

[Monica Lewinsky]

Out, kind of blossomed, you know, moving into 2014 and the essay I've done this, I can now call it resonance work. People understand when I say, what's resonance work? It's like sound, but vibration and resonance works.

[Monica Padman]

Like EMDR?

[Monica Lewinsky]

No, I've done EMDR, but I've worked with someone for probably over 15 years now on repairing my energetic bodies and field. And he uses sound to repattern your field. Depends on how woo woo. You are there. But I've just called it consciousness work or my energy work. And one of the first things we did was around changing my relationship to fame. And so my whole goal in that was bifurcated into one being being seen for my true self. And the other was. It sounds so corny, but it's just leading or coming from compassion. That's what I want my resonance to be in this feeling of when we have compassion for other people that boomerangs back to us.

[Dax Shepard]

Yeah, right, Right.

[Monica Lewinsky]

My story's such a collective story. And so when people would have compassion for what happened to me, that compassion would radiate.

[Dax Shepard]

Okay. So I think if we plotted your experience with fame, it might be the most extreme that we've ever had that I can think of. Probably total pariah of a whole country to lessening degree globally. Two, I really think pretty universally loved. I think when people see or hear your name, they have a good feeling.

[Monica Padman]

And guilt. I think everyone also has a collective guilt.

[Dax Shepard]

Yeah. But I guess from your perspective on the inside of that, to have been on both ends of the dynamic extreme, how do you trust either end of it? I could imagine you being loved and really having an impossible time accepting that. And then even thinking, okay, great, you love me, but fuck, I know where this ride goes. It's gonna flip again.

[Monica Lewinsky]

Or it could. And there is panic of that for you.

[Dax Shepard]

I'm imagining reality itself is a little harder than it is for the average bear because it's been so extreme in both sides 100%.

[Monica Lewinsky]

And also, too. You know, when you're writing and there's a seed that starts to germinate, and you kind of go, I don't know when this is going to grow and I'm going to write this, but I've had this thing for quite a while now where I've just been thinking. I've also seen different angles of power and felt when power shifts, how that impacts other people too. When me too happened, and I just started to find myself invited into rooms that I wouldn't have been invited into the year before. I wasn't different, but the world was different. And so what are all the pieces there that lead to those shifts and what does it mean? Which is interesting to me, But I think the fame thing is very strange. I had somebody say once, fame is just more people knowing who you are than you know of the other. So it's like strangers knowing who you are.

[Dax Shepard]

Asymmetric.

[Monica Lewinsky]

Yeah, right. There are trappings that can come with it. Usually it's the positive side. You have a lot of resources and help. And the negative is you lose your anonymity and privacy.

[Monica Padman]

Did you have resentment when that power shift happened? When you were invited into the rooms, were you like, yeah, I've been here the whole time, and now you're letting me in.

[Monica Lewinsky]

Maybe 20%, I think, just having experienced the depths of sadness and lack of purpose.

[Dax Shepard]

Hopelessness.

[Monica Lewinsky]

Yeah, hopelessness. All of those things.

[Dax Shepard]

What the fuck am I gonna do for a living?

[Monica Lewinsky]

Yeah.

[Dax Shepard]

How am I gonna every daily die?

[Monica Lewinsky]

I think that 80% was just the gratitude of that and 20%. But to that point, it's why I really dislike the word reinvention. Like, oh, you reinvented yourself, I think. No, there was nothing wrong with me. I evolved, I matured. The world changed. But that reinvention seems to imply what was there needed to be changed.

[Dax Shepard]

Okay, so the 10 years, really, I would argue longer. 16 years. From 98 to 2014, you get your master's in social psychology. You do a lot of things, you attempt a lot of things, but you're kind of frozen as well. Do you think you're younger than you are?

[Monica Lewinsky]

In some ways? Yes.

[Dax Shepard]

Yeah. Not that you're immature, but I was just like, oh, you're not your age.

[Monica Lewinsky]

No. It's a very strange thing because I think I had to mature and grow up faster. Way too fast some areas, and in others, very stunted. And also it's interesting because I dated somebody who has had an addiction that was in its sort of wildest throes for a decade. And he and I were talking, he was like, well, the decade where I should have been meeting somebody and having those kinds of things right. He's like, I was in the throes of my addiction and I too had lost that decade. When you're learning to date and you're learning how to be in relationship. And I had lost that also. I also remember reading this interview with Matt Damon that I think he was saying his brother had this theory that people often remain this sort of same maturity age when they become famous. Yeah, like it stops. Yeah, exactly. Sort of frozen in amber in one of those moments.

[Dax Shepard]

If everything you want is happening perfectly, why would you change? It would be counterintuitive to say everything I'm doing is working perfect. Let's change up this recipe. I think it's much easier to go like everything's in a shambles. I need to take a look inward and figure out how I'm fucking all this up in this pattern I'm in always results in this. So I think for the young movie star, where it's like all of a sudden super rich, everyone likes you, career fulfillment, and they're going to go back to the drawing board. That's a big person that does that.

[Monica Lewinsky]

That's true.

[Dax Shepard]

Can I ask in his long distance more appealing to you?

[Monica Lewinsky]

No, but I'm an anxious attacher.

[Dax Shepard]

What's that mean? Tell me the symptoms of anxious attachment.

[Monica Lewinsky]

Let me open instag. Find a meme that tells you the things where I take every fucking box. I will now never go on a date again after this airs. No, I'm just kidding.

[Dax Shepard]

You'll go on a date with the right person after the date.

[Monica Padman]

Yeah, that's right.

[Monica Lewinsky]

What are the characteristics of being an anxious attacher is you need reassurance. You always think people are mad at you. What's hard with relationship stuff, I think is that you can't see your progress. It's like it has to be in vivo. You have to meet someone and you like them and they like you. And you start the process to go, okay, has this gotten better? And so that I think can be complicated too, because you may not know.

[Dax Shepard]

Where you are also hard to evaluate because the nature of a relationship is. It's incredibly powerful and dynamic at the beginning. And then you're trading different hormones for here and now hormones. And you're trying to evaluate that versus is this getting boring or is it getting more stable?

[Monica Lewinsky]

I don't know that I have been the love of someone's life yet romantically and so that feels sad to me.

[Monica Padman]

I can relate to that.

[Dax Shepard]

Now, what would happen if on your deathbed, a genie came down and went, monica, these two people you were. And you missed it? Is that possible? I can't imagine you not being the.

[Monica Lewinsky]

Love of someone's life romantically.

[Dax Shepard]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Monica Lewinsky]

I mean, I know my parents.

[Monica Padman]

Yeah.

[Monica Lewinsky]

No, I mean, let me. I think that I have historically liked complicated men. And usually an anxious attacher likes an avoidant.

[Dax Shepard]

Okay, yeah, yeah, that makes sense.

[Monica Lewinsky]

So it wouldn't totally surprise me if that happened, because I would probably go see. I knew it. I knew they really loved me. I knew I really mattered. But I guess where my head went was when situationship became a word. I was like, oh, I've had a lot of situations.

[Dax Shepard]

What are those? You said that in an interview I read, and then I didn't know what situation she really.

[Monica Padman]

It's like a half relationship, right?

[Monica Lewinsky]

It's sort of a involvement. Let's just say a relationship is two people agreeing to try to build something for the future together as a unit. And I think a situationship is usually. It could become a relationship.

[Dax Shepard]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Monica Lewinsky]

But you're not necessarily saying it's a relationship yet. One of you is probably hoping it becomes a relationship, and the other one's like, I'm not so sure, but I still want to keep a toe in. I'm not ready to run the other way or whatever that is. I had someone tell me once that a woman should always have three men in their life. The guy who takes her to dinner, the guy she's fucking, and the guy she likes. And so, like, that's the way to kind of keep the.

[Monica Padman]

Keep it in balance. I do want to say, though, because I so relate to you, and that sentence is heartbreaking, what you said, that you don't feel like you've been the love of anyone's life. And I really relate. But me being on the outside in this conversation, what I wish the reframe is, is who's the love of my life? As opposed to, like, who can I be for somebody else? It's who's yours?

[Monica Lewinsky]

I think that I've loved a lot of people.

[Monica Padman]

You think you have had a love of your life potentially, or some.

[Monica Lewinsky]

Well, that's interesting. Now I'm gonna have to reevaluate how I'm defining this. All I was just saying to someone the other day, I feel like in my life, I would not be surprised if I met somebody. And it all sort of fell into place now as a mature 51 and a half year old, whatever version of relationship that would be. And I wouldn't be surprised if it just kind of never happened.

[Monica Padman]

Yeah, right.

[Monica Lewinsky]

Either way, some of it I think is maybe karma. Some of it is a lot of the time and work and energy that I've spent on surviving I might have otherwise used.

[Dax Shepard]

Right.

[Monica Lewinsky]

To figure out clawing your way out.

[Dax Shepard]

Of this enormous hole you were put in. That takes a lot of energy and focus and attention.

[Monica Lewinsky]

It does. But where I feel really lucky and I imagine you're the same is just I have really fulfilling friendships and relationships in my life. And so it's the combination of emotional intimacy and sexual intimacy that's a little tricky for me.

[Dax Shepard]

And I think increasingly society's evolving. The number of married people in Manhattan in the 80s versus now is one third of what it was. And I do think there'll be less shame surrounding whatever version of you meeting your needs.

[Monica Lewinsky]

I remember, I don't know what happened to it. I read about it before the pandemic. There was a matching site, not dating, that was matching people to have kids together. And I just thought that is so genius. You know, it's really interesting. And as you were saying, Dax, about the spectrum. We are becoming this society of spectrum in so many ways. And it's going to be really interesting as we move forward too, of how are we going to historically look at scientific data. It was so binary. You're a man, gay or straight, and we're moving into a world that's more nuanced while the chasm between groups is even bigger and worse.

[Emma]

Stay tuned for more Armchair Expert if you dare.

[Dax Shepard]

We are supported by Addie Addy.

[Monica Padman]

That's that little pink pill, right?

[Dax Shepard]

Oh, it sure is. Addi is the number one doctor prescribed FDA approved treatment to get this. Increase women's sex drive in certain premenopausal women who are bothered by low libido.

[Monica Padman]

This is very important, which brings up.

[Dax Shepard]

A really interesting conversation. What do women want out of sex? I mean, it's different for men, right?

[Monica Padman]

Well, I'm not a man, so I guess I can't really speak to that. But for women, it's definitely about pleasure and orgasms, of course, but it's really more about the intimacy, like being really.

[Dax Shepard]

Excited about the person.

[Monica Padman]

Yes. Total, yes. Be so into someone that you're like, let's do this. I want this. That's a good feeling.

[Dax Shepard]

Well, apparently there's a lot of women out there who struggle with low libido, but there's not enough honest conversation about it.

[Monica Padman]

Yeah, and women should know that there are options out there and we shouldn't be embarrassed to talk about it and get help.

[Dax Shepard]

No way. It's your life. You deserve this.

[Monica Padman]

If you want to learn more and get back to feeling like yourself, go.

[Dax Shepard]

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[Monica Padman]

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[Monica Lewinsky]

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[Monica Padman]

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[Monica Padman]

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[Emma]

Your mind could trick your body into feeling sick or even worse? In Hysterical, I investigate the bizarre medical mystery that unfolds in a high school in upstate New York. It starts with one girl developing strange, violent symptoms. And then another. And then another. Rumors begin to swirl. Is it something in the water inside the school or is it all in their heads? Hysterical is my search for answers. And along the way I uncover surprising connections to unexplained incidents around the the world. Events that challenge everything we think we know about our bodies and our minds. Named Podcast of the Year at the Gambies, Hysterical is a mind bending, unforgettable ride. Binge all episodes right now exclusively and ad free on Wondery. Start your free trial of Wondery in the Wondery app or on Apple Podcasts.

[Monica Padman]

Do you watch Severance?

[Monica Lewinsky]

I do. I'm not caught up on it.

[Monica Padman]

Oh, dang.

[Monica Lewinsky]

Okay, okay, Sorry.

[Monica Padman]

I know the scene in the last episode. It aired, the last episode that aired, which was Friday, which is the second to last episode of the season. But there's an exchange that happens between two people. It's so heartbreaking, but it sort of speaks to, I think, what we were just talking about. And I don't think it's a spoiler.

[Dax Shepard]

That's never a great sentence.

[Monica Padman]

I know. I'll just say, without giving too much away, there's two people who were in love in.

[Monica Lewinsky]

Right.

[Dax Shepard]

Their innies are in love.

[Monica Padman]

Their innies are in love. Okay. And then their outies have found each other, but one's married. They're talking. And the one who's not married says, I've never been in love. Not really. And the other one says, now you have. How does it feel? And it was so heartbreaking to me because I was like, I've never really had that thing that he has with his husband. I found it so debilitatingly.

[Monica Lewinsky]

Where do you think your. Where do you think your issues come from?

[Dax Shepard]

They're well documented.

[Monica Padman]

So many. Mine, I think a God is just so boring for the audience at this point. But growing up in Georgia, brown kid, boys didn't like me.

[Dax Shepard]

Well, more importantly, one boy liked her. She liked the boy. And the boy said, I can't really be with her because she's Indian.

[Monica Lewinsky]

Oh.

[Dax Shepard]

He said her parents were at Dairy Queen, but that was code for India.

[Monica Padman]

Yeah, okay. Yeah, yeah.

[Dax Shepard]

And they don't.

[Monica Padman]

Yeah, he said I would, but. And so it's early days, like, oh, I'm unlovable and has nothing to do with anything I can control here.

[Dax Shepard]

Skin bleaching. Did you know?

[Monica Padman]

Well, I looked into. You should have seen me on the beach, just covered in towels. So that got set early on and then was confirmed in quotes a few more times where I was like, yeah, okay, so that's that. I'm not going to have that. Then I would fantasize and be attracted to people I couldn't have because they couldn't really reject me because they were always not in my realm of having.

[Dax Shepard]

And I'll add a particularly cruelty twist. Is this pattern also is anyone that.

[Monica Padman]

Likes her, they're problematic now.

[Dax Shepard]

So when people do like her, something's wrong with them, obviously, because she's already accepted. No one likes her. That's immovable. So if no one likes her and someone likes her, what the fuck is wrong with this dude?

[Monica Padman]

There must be a catch. There must be something. It's like there's always like a. There must be.

[Dax Shepard]

Isn't it maddening? So when you love somebody, I'm like.

[Monica Lewinsky]

Where'S my magic wand?

[Monica Padman]

I know, but that's how I feel. I can see it in other people.

[Dax Shepard]

It's so common. I just want to add, we have so many guests where Monica and the guests go off to the races and they connect so much on this thing.

[Monica Lewinsky]

It's interesting because I think I feel so much shame around it because I'm super open in my friendships with people at a private conversation where it's not out there. I'm very, very open. But I think I feel so much shame from it. I talked about this. The first episode of my podcast was me being interviewed.

[Dax Shepard]

They interviewed you?

[Monica Lewinsky]

Yeah. And so I talked about when Joyce Brothers went on the Today show and said, can you imagine someone bringing Monica Lewinsky home. Home and telling their parents that they were going to marry me, basically? And so I think there's this fear of, oh, see, you were all right.

[Dax Shepard]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, of course. So you know so much deep stuff.

[Monica Lewinsky]

I know. Top that off with whatever childhood shit I had, too. Exactly.

[Dax Shepard]

This is kind of a great segue to one of my questions. So, yes, basically, what we're really talking about is very few incidents can result in this kind of permanent life trajectory. And so when we talk about reclaiming, the premise of reclaiming. Right. Is something you've lost or was taken, that you get back. Well, first, let's talk about that, because I have a broader question of should we reclaim? Is it always the right move to reclaim, or is there time to jettison the thing we thought we needed and accept what is and then build something new?

[Monica Lewinsky]

To me, the building something new is a reclaiming. What it usually is is there would be maybe a hole or something that could label this person, this job, this opportunity, whatever it was that you felt was lost. You either try getting that very same thing back, or you're finding something else that then fits that slot. There are these kind of capital R and lowercase R reclaimings. Big things being my last decade, reclaiming my narrative. That's a capital R. But the example I'll give is, I Have road rage.

[Dax Shepard]

Oh, we would be fun in a car together.

[Monica Lewinsky]

Oh, yeah. I will yell fuck face before I then also flick the person off if I stop myself from doing that. I've reclaimed my calm.

[Dax Shepard]

I like that.

[Monica Lewinsky]

It's kind of an ethos. It's like mindfulness. It just kind of blankets all of our lives in different ways. When I was forming the show and pitching it, the best example I could think of that shows this elasticity with the concept is Taylor Swift and Taylor's versions. So she has this catalog. It gets taken away from her and she can't get. So she comes up with a whole new way of reclaiming her music.

[Aaron Stinchcomb]

Right.

[Monica Lewinsky]

And I think the conversations that I'm having. It was great. I sat down with John Chu the other week. It was kind of a broader thing, which is around his identity and his identity and his work. So it's really loose now, having had this conversation, I'd want to talk to you about identity. I'd want to talk to you. I'm really interested in the rehab narrative of people who. Who are publicly successful go to rehab, how they come back out without those crutches and find the courage to continue to do. Jason Isbell won his Grammy after Aaron Sorkin won his Oscar.

[Dax Shepard]

Well, we love stories.

[Monica Lewinsky]

Yeah.

[Dax Shepard]

You're doing a show with Amanda Knox.

[Monica Padman]

Yep.

[Dax Shepard]

Where are you guys at in that?

[Monica Lewinsky]

We are gonna finish shooting in two weeks.

[Dax Shepard]

Oh, really?

[Monica Padman]

Yes.

[Dax Shepard]

Is it here in la, Overseas? Is it in Italy?

[Monica Lewinsky]

We did shoot some in Italy.

[Dax Shepard]

Is that hard for her to go?

[Monica Lewinsky]

She did not go back for that portion, but she has been back. She is a brave soul.

[Monica Padman]

Wow.

[Monica Lewinsky]

I will definitely have her on the podcast when the show is coming out.

[Dax Shepard]

Yeah. How did you come to meet her?

[Monica Lewinsky]

Do you know Jon Ronson? Have you ever had him on the show? So he's just a brilliant guy and had written a book. So you've been publicly shamed.

[Dax Shepard]

Oh.

[Monica Lewinsky]

He sort of brought the Justine Sacco story. This was the woman who got on the plane.

[Dax Shepard]

Oh. And when she landed, she was fired. Jonathan Haidt just saw her.

[Monica Padman]

Yes.

[Monica Lewinsky]

Yeah. While John didn't write the story. I mean, the Times had covered it. He went into her story in context, but so John and I knew each other, and then John knew Amanda and had connected us. But then we actually met. We were both speaking at the same event, and it was her first speaking event.

[Dax Shepard]

Okay. How many do you do a year?

[Monica Lewinsky]

I haven't done that many. This last year. I was doing a lot. And then coming out of the Pandemic I had a whole bunch that had been scheduled, not picked up in the same way, and I think I was tired. I love doing it. I really like talking to young people, too. That feels really meaningful to me. And also, I think there's no playbook on how to transition from having this big public story that is traumatic and moving on in your life in a way where you're able to support yourself, that you're not having to relive your trauma every day, all the time, lean on it somewhere. And so when I'm public speaking, it's going backwards to move forwards and to sort of help people and feel less alone in all those ways. That's what I love about the podcast, is that I just get to sit and talk to people and kind of hear their stories.

[Dax Shepard]

You can make an argument either way. So, like, you take the power away from something by openly talking about it. This is the antidote to shame. That is true. That's been my experience with sharing stuff. But then there's another thing to monitor, which is, like, how damaging is it to constantly revisit it? What is the damage of just not being able to put that away forever? And that's gotta be really hard.

[Monica Lewinsky]

The ideal place for it is to just be able to choose, I want to do this versus I have to do this because I've got to pay my mortgage or I've got to, you know, put food on the table or pay for therapy. I think those are the differences.

[Dax Shepard]

But even within that, there's categories, which is interesting because, I mean, almost your obligation if you're a member of AA is you get sober, and then you share your story, and you share your story for the rest of your life, and you get a daily reprieve from sharing your story, and you encourage other people and inspire other people. No one's going, like, enough of your story. They're not going, like, get over it in that domain. That's a wonderful, powerful thing. But then in other domains, people are going, like, enough.

[Monica Lewinsky]

Oh, yeah. The problem is that the way trauma sort of worms its way into our memories, into our physical tissue, you can't totally excavate it out. EMDR can help an enormous amount. But my therapist, who's a trauma psychiatrist, she'll say, the echo gets quieter, but it's always there. And so there is that element, too, of, how am I protecting myself and my own mental health? But it's a difficult thing what's happened to people in global scandals, especially when you're young, because you get very defined by it. People tell you to move on and yet when I came out of graduate school, I couldn't get a fucking job.

[Monica Padman]

They're telling you to move on, but no one else has moved on.

[Monica Lewinsky]

Exactly.

[Dax Shepard]

Okay. I always bring it back to this. Cause I just found it to be very powerful. But we had this sex therapist on and I was asking if because of sexual abuse you have certain. We'll call them kinks, but positively you have preferences. How can you blame someone when they've been given this situation? If they have certain desires for the rest of their life, is that good or bad? Right. And she said, oh, this is very, very simple. She used sub doms like there are a lot of people that have been abused that they like to be in these subdom. Relationships. And she just said if you have shame and secrecy around it, it's bad and destructive. If you have no shame and secrecy, then yes, what you were given. Here's your isms now. So I was wondering in that way.

[Monica Lewinsky]

Where are you going?

[Dax Shepard]

No, no, I'm not going sexual at all. But what I'm going towards is you were in a very extreme situation and you're going to have things that developed out of that. At what point are you able to just make peace and accept, oh yeah, there are certain things in me that I don't need to fix. This was the hand I was dealt. I'm now this way I don't have to fix it all. And do you have acceptance of whatever things grew out of that?

[Monica Lewinsky]

Is that. But maybe a tiny bit adjacent in that? Yeah, I'm just not gonna get to working on that. And I'm okay with that.

[Dax Shepard]

Right, okay. Yeah, yeah.

[Monica Lewinsky]

It's that acceptance and that was a lot of what I had in my 49th year. So right before I turned 50. And it's so freeing to just be very happy with who I am and very comfortable with who I am. And it's like you no longer. I mean, people don't buy CDs anymore, but you no longer go out and buy the CDs that the guy you like. You know, like.

[Aaron Stinchcomb]

Yeah.

[Dax Shepard]

In the past you would have been trying to figure out what music this.

[Monica Lewinsky]

Guy likes or oh, you surf? I surf.

[Monica Padman]

Has that always been you or was that post this trauma that you felt like you needed to be what the other person wanted you to be?

[Monica Lewinsky]

I think I was always like that. Also growing up at a time where not all young women, but many young women got messages from their moms about how you're supposed to be in a relationship, what does it mean to get a man or keep a husband or. I remember hearing in class once, and they were like, well, they used to call women going to college was getting an Mrs. Degree.

[Monica Padman]

Oh, yeah. I've heard that.

[Monica Lewinsky]

Underneath it all is the message. Who you are and how you are right now is not enough and not okay.

[Dax Shepard]

Eventually you'll attach yourself to something with substance. That'll be a man and a husband, and then you'll have an identity and.

[Monica Lewinsky]

Then you'll be a mother for Gen X. Are you Gen X? Yeah. I was like your baby 37. You're gen X, right? Cause you're. Yeah. Sorry, Dax. It's interesting. I found this really useful, although it felt so banal to me at first. But one of the mantras my therapist had given me was, yeah, this is what I do sometimes when I'm feeling anxious, I send an extra text to start with, not making it worse on myself. And so starting with self compassion and recognizing and I think going back to something we were talking about much earlier. But in terms of the self awareness and the evolving that happens, we're also all these different versions of ourselves. Right. The different ages and the different parts. And so that's also recognizing. Again, kudos to my therapist. She's like, well, the you who sends the email may not be the you who's waiting for the response.

[Monica Padman]

Totally. God bless therapists.

[Monica Lewinsky]

Oh, my gosh. Seriously.

[Dax Shepard]

Okay. You've had some great guests already. We could talk about many of them, but I am interested specifically in a few. Okay. Molly Ringwald, of course. And I have to imagine you are the same as me. Cause were the same age. And the sun rised and set on Molly Ringwald.

[Monica Lewinsky]

Oh, yeah. First of all, Molly's an extraordinary woman. She is brilliant. She's an incredible writer. She has such presence. And she has a really unique presence, too. So I was excited to talk to her because.

[Monica Padman]

Right.

[Monica Lewinsky]

We grew up with her. It was really fascinating to hear that John Hughes wrote Sixteen Candles for her. Having never met her and having just been given her headshot, which I was like, okay, that's very complimentary and also a little creepy because she was a teen. Not trying to disparage the filmmaker of our generation as a woman. I think it was an objectification that then had things projected onto it.

[Dax Shepard]

He created a movie version of Molly Ringwald that became an identity that probably wasn't Molly Ringwald's identity. There's probably a chasm of how he saw her and portrayed her in all these projects. That wasn't her.

[Monica Lewinsky]

That Would have been a good question for me to ask.

[Monica Padman]

Well, that's maybe for him.

[Monica Lewinsky]

Well, he passed away.

[Monica Padman]

Yeah. We'd have to have ghost podcasts.

[Dax Shepard]

We have to find a medium. Oh, my God. That's a funny, stupid show where we have a full medium and we interview dead people.

[Monica Lewinsky]

That would be great.

[Dax Shepard]

Yeah. Kind of like an improv show.

[Monica Lewinsky]

I wanted to do somehow a TV show when journalists have passed away. If you can get access to their notes and does that mean anything that was off the record in their sources? You know, if both people had died, like, wouldn't that be interesting? I wonder how many stories might be totally recontextualized to know who the sources were.

[Dax Shepard]

Yeah. We just interviewed Michael Lewis.

[Monica Lewinsky]

Yeah, he's brilliant.

[Dax Shepard]

Yeah. And he was telling us that while writing the big short two of the characters in it, what he was not allowed to share was that his dad was the president of Lehman Brothers or something. It was like some off the record thing. Oh, wow. He's like, it absolutely killed me because it was so relevant to what was happening. He was betting against his father. So, yeah, that kind of stuff would probably come out.

[Monica Lewinsky]

I just think it would be interesting.

[Monica Padman]

Yeah.

[Dax Shepard]

So what was Molly's version of that experience?

[Monica Lewinsky]

She only knew fame from this very young age and this catapulting into a high level of fame on the COVID of Time.

[Dax Shepard]

Marrying a Beastie Boy.

[Monica Lewinsky]

She is an icon. She dated him. I don't think he was dating him, Mary.

[Monica Padman]

Okay, we'll fact check it later.

[Dax Shepard]

I just remember thinking, this is ideal.

[Monica Lewinsky]

I feel like I should know that.

[Dax Shepard]

I made one of the worst comments to her. I've only met her once. I was seated next to her. This is in my list of 20 dumb things I've said to people. But I was sitting next to her and I was so excited. I was with Kristin. So I was like, this is safe because I'm with Kristen. I was like, is it a bizarre experience that every time you sit down with anyone of my age, you know they were in love with you? That's an interesting reality I'm curious about.

[Monica Lewinsky]

Yeah, yeah.

[Dax Shepard]

It's just an awkward question. What is she supposed to say? There was no answer she could give. I didn't think that part of it through. But I. I am still fascinated by. That's a very interesting way to go through life. How did she reclaim her Paris years?

[Monica Lewinsky]

She moved to Paris to really find.

[Dax Shepard]

Out who she was as a non famous person.

[Monica Lewinsky]

Exactly. Which is incredibly brave.

[Dax Shepard]

Beanie. We've had on and we love Beanie.

[Monica Padman]

Just the beautiful.

[Monica Lewinsky]

Just listened to Beanie's edit yesterday. Well, it's funny because we started talking about the tapes and Beanie and I had talked about the process and that came up and I was listening to the edit and I was like, I didn't explain. If somebody doesn't know my story, they're not gonna. This is where I'm learning.

[Dax Shepard]

Oh, that's one of my. You just reminded me of one of my questions.

[Monica Lewinsky]

Oh, okay. Go ahead.

[Dax Shepard]

You must be experiencing this in a very exaggerated and compounded way. The impermanence of everything is so fascinating. Yes.

[Monica Padman]

And.

[Monica Lewinsky]

And no.

[Dax Shepard]

Because you meet tons of people that literally Clinton is a dude from their history books.

[Monica Lewinsky]

Exactly.

[Dax Shepard]

That's all.

[Monica Lewinsky]

Okay, So I have this weird cultural relevance because I'm a lyric in fucking rap songs.

[Dax Shepard]

Which rap song? I've heard you say that.

[Monica Lewinsky]

Which one?

[Dax Shepard]

Oh, many.

[Monica Lewinsky]

125.

[Dax Shepard]

What?

[Monica Padman]

Yes.

[Dax Shepard]

Oh my God.

[Monica Lewinsky]

I mean, Beyonce's not a rapper, but I'm in partition in a not very nice way.

[Dax Shepard]

You're the most rapped about person in America.

[Monica Padman]

Beyonce should come on your show.

[Monica Lewinsky]

Beyonce should come on my show. I would love to talk to her. She's extraordinary. So there's that. But I had a weird thing. I was at, you know the artist, Shepherd Fairey, it was his gallery and some 8 year old kid came up to me and knew my history. The whole thing was weird to me. Cause I'm like, you're eight, you shouldn't know any of this, anything about me. I mean, I joke a lot about. People used to say, no offense. Do you know who you look like?

[Monica Padman]

Yes, yes.

[Monica Lewinsky]

And now it's the TED Talk or anti bullying work.

[Dax Shepard]

Leno's got a great story about this. He's doing a live standup show in Vegas and he's just fucking around before his set and he sees guys with a dolly and they have a huge statue clearly under a tarp. And he's like, what is that? And they're like, oh, it's the Elvis statue. He's like, what are you to go fix it? And they're like, no, we're taking it down. Nobody who comes to Vegas knows who Elvis is.

[Monica Padman]

Isn't that wild?

[Dax Shepard]

That's what I'm talking about. I'm talking about going, oh, wow. None of it matters. It all moves fast. It's in, it's out. It's so temporary and it's so impermanent. That's kind of what I'm talking about. How could everyone know something at one point and then no one know. That's the part that I feel as I'm getting older, it's like, oh, yeah. I'm just now transitioning to that thing where I'm not really relevant. And these young people's life, you have.

[Monica Lewinsky]

A voice in a different way. So they may not know you from those earlier things. But I think also, again, this is a fact check. But isn't Nelson Mandela's story too early years of having been known one way and then becomes known more from the latter years of his political career than some of the earlier ones? I feel really lucky because I feel as if in this last round, I mean, I was always a public person but not hiding in many ways, driving your exposure. I can sit outside at a restaurant now. I might worry a little if I'm going to a restaurant where paparazzi hang out. But even then it's like, okay, my hair's lighter. I don't get recognized. Which is really nice.

[Dax Shepard]

Yes. Midway through life, I'm just really struck with like, oh, wow. Yeah. And everything that happened to my grandparents meant so much. And it's just gone. It's sad and it's good. We're just here for a minute and.

[Monica Lewinsky]

That'S it in this dimension.

[Dax Shepard]

And the Elvis statue will come down at some point.

[Monica Lewinsky]

Okay. Wait, what's this spray stuff? I mean, serious. Oh, interesting.

[Dax Shepard]

It's a pure delivery system for nicotine.

[Monica Lewinsky]

Okay.

[Dax Shepard]

No, nicotine, it's a liquid. The whole family's addicted to it.

[Monica Lewinsky]

Okay.

[Dax Shepard]

Yeah. Were you ever a smoker?

[Monica Lewinsky]

Social smoker. I usually have a cigarette on election night every four years.

[Dax Shepard]

Okay. You should maybe try that.

[Monica Padman]

Monica, If I was going to do it. Yeah, that would be the time.

[Dax Shepard]

All right. I just have one salacious question for you.

[Monica Lewinsky]

Oh, okay. Hold on. Let me.

[Dax Shepard]

Yeah, get your salacious armor on.

[Monica Lewinsky]

Exactly.

[Dax Shepard]

The Menendez brothers. You went to school with them?

[Monica Lewinsky]

Yes, I did. The youngest one was, I think, a year or two older than me.

[Monica Padman]

Really?

[Monica Lewinsky]

My memory of him was sitting next to him waiting to audition for the Music Man.

[Dax Shepard]

Oh, both of you?

[Monica Lewinsky]

Yeah, we had the same call time. Not call time.

[Monica Padman]

I don't know.

[Monica Lewinsky]

What do you call audition time? Right, exactly.

[Dax Shepard]

So the older brother was gone before you got to school?

[Monica Lewinsky]

I think so. I don't remember their age differences.

[Monica Padman]

So it happened while you were in school?

[Monica Lewinsky]

Yes. I think they were on Maple or Elm. I can point the street out to you. I just can't remember which one it was. And it was like, oh, that's the house.

[Dax Shepard]

Yeah. It's a pretty wild thing that happened in high school. We had some wild shit.

[Monica Lewinsky]

Yeah. But I think, again, it's interesting. It's one of those stories, it's like.

[Dax Shepard]

Yours, where you go back and watch it and you go, oh, I see it completely differently now.

[Monica Lewinsky]

Exactly. Whatever society ends up deeming as the right thing to happen for them is fine by me. I hope if they do get resentenced in some way and that it becomes a much bigger conversation for all of the people who are languishing in prison, who committed crimes as a result of having been abused, because I think that's the majority of people. Otherwise, it just bothers me that it's sort of the attractive white boys. There's so many different instances where it's so easy for us to look at a story and think of everybody. Whatever category of story is a monolith. And I love content. I have been known to send emails that are like, here's a short version, here's a long version. You choose which one you want. Because I will always go with the long version. But people like the short version.

[Monica Padman]

A lot of people do.

[Dax Shepard]

Well, I'm glad you're doing reclaiming because you're built to talk. You are a great, great guest the first time, and you are a great guest the second time, and if any of us can figure out how to shoot the shit for a living, what a win.

[Monica Padman]

Also, we talked so much about your growth, but obviously, even when were you on? When was it? Was it 2018? It was early.

[Monica Lewinsky]

I think it was 20, 20, 19. But it was pre pandemic.

[Monica Padman]

It was pre pandemic. But you feel so different to me.

[Dax Shepard]

I would agree with that.

[Monica Padman]

Oh, good.

[Dax Shepard]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. You weren't newer into the reintroduction.

[Monica Lewinsky]

Yeah, it would have been four years, five years, but we wouldn't have made impeachment yet. Having been a producer on Ryan Murphy's impeachment and having a first look deal was really the first opportunity I had to do something that had nothing to do with my story. Even though my lens is shaped by. And my brother was always, always like, okay, you can't have these head scratchers. You have to take people on a narrative journey of the projects you're gonna do. It's like, why are you doing that? You're not an expert in a certain. Okay, Pete's not that harsh.

[Dax Shepard]

But, you know, that's what you hear from whether that's what he's saying.

[Monica Lewinsky]

Yeah, no, no. He finally thinks I'm funny.

[Monica Padman]

It's a big win.

[Monica Lewinsky]

It is such a big win 51 years later. Yeah, actually, I have John Oliver to thank for that. He's like, well, John Oliver said you were funny. So he's a big fan of this show. Hi, Mike. We're giving you a shout out now. He's gonna be embarrassed. So with impeachment and having had a first look deal and focusing on other people's stories, but then with the contraction in Hollywood, it became difficult. And as someone said to me, producing is an expensive habit, like if you're not in a deal or independently wealthy. So I love producing. I love storytelling.

[Dax Shepard]

It's rough.

[Monica Lewinsky]

It is.

[Dax Shepard]

It's hard.

[Monica Padman]

It's hard.

[Dax Shepard]

I would apply the racing adage that's my favorite, which is, do you know how to make a fortune in racing? Start with a large fortune.

[Monica Lewinsky]

Oh, yeah, exactly.

[Dax Shepard]

Increasingly want to become a millionaire as a producer? Start with a billion. Well, Monica, this has been a blast. Everyone should listen to Reclaiming with Monica Lewinsky. It's available absolutely everywhere. We're siblings under the wondery world. So delighted to be with you.

[Monica Lewinsky]

Thank you guys so much.

[Monica Padman]

We love having you.

[Monica Lewinsky]

Thank you.

[Emma]

Stay tuned for more Armchair Expert if you dare.

[Monica Lewinsky]

At 24, I lost my narrative, or rather, it was stolen from me. And the Monica Lewinsky that my friends and family knew was usurped by false narratives, callous jokes, and politics, I would define reclaiming as to take back what was yours. So something you possess is lost or stolen, and ultimately you triumph in finding it again. So I think listeners can expect me to be chatting with folks both recognizable and unrecognizable names about the way that people have navigated roads to triumph. My hope is that people will finish an episode of Reclaiming and feel like they filled their tank up, they connected with the people that I'm talking to, and leave with maybe some nuggets that help them feel a little more hopeful. Follow Reclaiming with Monica Lewinsky on the Wondery app or wherever you get your podcasts. You can listen to Reclaiming early and ad free right now by joining Wondery plus in the Wondery app or on Apple podcasts.

[Dax Shepard]

Stay tuned for the fact check so you can hear all the facts that were wrong.

[Aaron Stinchcomb]

Hi.

[Dax Shepard]

Hi. Okay, I've never met Aaron Weekly, but I heard he's the ultimate boy. He is so darn human. I wish I were flawed like Mr. Weekly.

[Monica Padman]

Oh, my God. This is a huge day.

[Aaron Stinchcomb]

Yeah, Aaron, he's so big.

[Dax Shepard]

Yeah, he has a very cute smile. I wish they made robots with teeth.

[Monica Padman]

Oh, yeah. See, this is the thing about the robot. He's very sad.

[Aaron Stinchcomb]

He is a cute smile. He is a cute smile, but it's no teeth.

[Dax Shepard]

Cause he doesn't need to eat.

[Monica Padman]

Yeah, exactly.

[Dax Shepard]

I run on electricity. If I'm correct, you get your energy from food.

[Monica Padman]

Yeah, we do. Okay, well, Aaron's here.

[Dax Shepard]

Aaron's here. Welcome, Aaron. Just fresh off the airplane.

[Aaron Stinchcomb]

You banged on the door. I was down for, like, one minute.

[Dax Shepard]

Uh. Oh, so you're recovering still a little bit.

[Aaron Stinchcomb]

No, no, no. I was. I. I was like, if you give me five minutes, I'm gonna nap.

[Dax Shepard]

Yes. Any free five minutes.

[Aaron Stinchcomb]

I heard you came in here at a certain time. I'm like, oh, I got at least an hour.

[Monica Padman]

Then we yanked you right out.

[Aaron Stinchcomb]

Thank God I don't need a nap. I'm here to party.

[Dax Shepard]

You gotta adjust to the time zone, man.

[Monica Padman]

That's true.

[Dax Shepard]

This was a very haphazard trip. We're talking on the phone yesterday, and I just go, should you come out tomorrow morning and record some more of our podcast?

[Aaron Stinchcomb]

Well, Dax goes, we have to finish. I said, yeah, I was kind of just waiting to see, you know, what schedule is. He goes, well, this week probably would have been good.

[Dax Shepard]

And I'm like, a regret. Start as regret, and then. Wait a minute. It's not too late. Okay. Are you. I have an exciting update for you.

[Monica Padman]

But first I want to ask Aaron an important question.

[Dax Shepard]

Oh, wonderful.

[Monica Padman]

Okay. Would you rather eat someone's hair, skin, or spit?

[Dax Shepard]

Skin or fingernail? Skin.

[Aaron Stinchcomb]

Yeah, that's right. Oh, God, not a fingernail. No.

[Monica Padman]

Oh, yeah, fingernail. We add it in, like skin.

[Aaron Stinchcomb]

Oh, I'd eat skin all day over fucking hair and spit.

[Monica Padman]

Okay.

[Aaron Stinchcomb]

And nails.

[Monica Padman]

Can you order it? So skin eats.

[Aaron Stinchcomb]

Okay, skin. I'd be honored to eat some skin.

[Dax Shepard]

Don't you think the context is a little relevant? Because it's really, like, what one do you want in your food? One of those items has to be in your food. I said spit because you wouldn't know. Okay, but if you would, if you did know.

[Aaron Stinchcomb]

Yeah, if you did know, I'd rather chew on someone's skin.

[Monica Padman]

Ah, okay.

[Dax Shepard]

Okay. Well, let's be really specific, because I was just telling Monica all about Aaron Stinchcomb in the murder and all that.

[Aaron Stinchcomb]

Yeah.

[Dax Shepard]

And there was a period, Monica, where he worked at Big Boys, the same one that Aaron and I worked at. Oh, you've heard our big boy stories.

[Monica Padman]

Oh, yeah.

[Dax Shepard]

Okay. So now here's your choice, you, shit. Comes making a mole.

[Monica Padman]

No. Say it.

[Dax Shepard]

No. Oh, sorry. When you're a murderer.

[Monica Padman]

I know, but he had A bad life. You said the carpet.

[Dax Shepard]

Yeah, There was a lot of burning carpet. So Stinch comb is. Stingcom is making you a. A malt.

[Aaron Stinchcomb]

Okay.

[Dax Shepard]

And you either see him spit in it really big or cut off the tip of his finger and put it in the malt.

[Aaron Stinchcomb]

In a malt? Yeah, I guess I.

[Monica Padman]

Or take a hair out of his.

[Dax Shepard]

Head and put it in there.

[Aaron Stinchcomb]

I think I'd have the spit and the malt and the malt.

[Monica Padman]

Really? And then skin.

[Aaron Stinchcomb]

And then skin on any salad food.

[Dax Shepard]

Okay. It's like a salad if it was in the mix.

[Aaron Stinchcomb]

I mean, preferably a hamburger or something. Yeah.

[Monica Padman]

So it just felt like that.

[Aaron Stinchcomb]

But yeah, salad. No, that's fine. I would think it was. Or pretend it was ham or something.

[Monica Padman]

That ended up in your milkshake.

[Aaron Stinchcomb]

Ham. It comes out sometimes.

[Dax Shepard]

Everything I eat is ham.

[Aaron Stinchcomb]

When I don't need a ham.

[Monica Padman]

Ew.

[Dax Shepard]

If I don't know what it is, I assume it's ham.

[Aaron Stinchcomb]

You should have saw him when he was younger. All he did was eat ham.

[Dax Shepard]

All right, so we got a. Well, that's fun because now we have three different things. I said spit. He said skin. You said hair.

[Monica Padman]

Yeah. And I asked Wabi Wobby were fingernails.

[Aaron Stinchcomb]

No skin.

[Monica Padman]

He was skin. I asked Callie.

[Dax Shepard]

Oh, good.

[Monica Padman]

And she's the only other person who said hair. Like me.

[Aaron Stinchcomb]

Wow.

[Dax Shepard]

I think because girls deal with so much hair all the time and it's on your brush and you're taking it out and the whole. You have a much closer relationship with hair.

[Monica Padman]

Should we ask Kristen?

[Dax Shepard]

Yeah.

[Monica Padman]

Yeah.

[Dax Shepard]

She's not going to answer because she's baking.

[Aaron Stinchcomb]

She's a hair person.

[Monica Padman]

I hope.

[Aaron Stinchcomb]

Who's. Who do you think's a fingernail person?

[Dax Shepard]

I want to meet. I want to hang with that. Maybe Walt Goggins would like that one.

[Monica Padman]

Came out because I in the last episode was picking at my fingernails and then I was like moving it around and I dropped and then I thought I said somebody is going to find this sewed. And many people, including you, I think is going to find this so disgusting.

[Dax Shepard]

Hi, quick question because we're polling everyone. You are either gonna find in your.

[Monica Padman]

Food at a restaurant.

[Dax Shepard]

At a restaurant. A long.

[Monica Padman]

No, don't say long. Just say normal.

[Dax Shepard]

Okay. Hair, skin, spit or fingernails.

[Monica Padman]

Don't say fingernails. Yes.

[Dax Shepard]

Yes. That's a big victory for Monica. But by the way, I don't know why it's a big victory. Cuz I agree that it's probably women feel fine with hair.

[Monica Padman]

So she said it so fast. She Knew hair, obviously.

[Dax Shepard]

But mama obvious answer to me. You wouldn't know. You just wouldn't know. You'd be eating and then you. Someone go, someone spit in there. And you go, oh, I didn't know.

[Monica Padman]

You just. But I would know because you just told me. Yeah, exactly. Find it correct. So if I'm. If you're going to tell me, I. After I ate, I spit in that. It's going to make me a little nosh. And here's the bacteria levels and spit are super high. Skin could have some sort of a fungus. Fingernails are dirty. People have stuff under them.

[Monica Lewinsky]

Yeah, hair.

[Monica Padman]

Generally you don't scratch your with your hair unless. And generally sometimes unless you're a Rapunzel. So, you know, a reasonable amount.

[Dax Shepard]

Yeah, okay. That was the right.

[Monica Padman]

There's not bacteria on hair.

[Dax Shepard]

That was the right answer for your gender.

[Monica Padman]

I feel so vindicated. What do you want in your food, Dax?

[Dax Shepard]

Aaron wants skin because he'll pretend it's ham. And then I want spit because I wouldn't know.

[Monica Padman]

But you would know.

[Dax Shepard]

But I would know. Someone would say, hey, there's spit in here. Or they go, there's a hair in here. Or there's skin. Yeah, I probably would continue to eat if there's spit. By the way, there's spit in all your food. Because people are talking in the kitchen and coughing.

[Monica Lewinsky]

Well, maybe not all your food.

[Dax Shepard]

Some of the food. Yeah.

[Monica Padman]

Kristin, don't you think you've eaten my hair?

[Monica Lewinsky]

Oh, I know I have.

[Monica Padman]

Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Dax Shepard]

I said to know Monica is to have pulled her hair out of like, your armpit randomly and thought how the.

[Monica Padman]

Fuck it's just on you. It's just always on for sure.

[Dax Shepard]

All right, well, thanks.

[Monica Padman]

I appreciate you.

[Dax Shepard]

Yeah, thanks for answering. I know you got a busy cooking. Cooking project going.

[Monica Padman]

No problem.

[Dax Shepard]

All right, Love you.

[Monica Padman]

I'll try to keep my spit, hair, fingernails and skin.

[Dax Shepard]

Put it all in there, throw it.

[Aaron Stinchcomb]

In, make a salad tonight.

[Dax Shepard]

All right. I love you.

[Monica Padman]

Yes. See if it's Kristen's. I'll eat all of it.

[Dax Shepard]

Yeah.

[Aaron Stinchcomb]

With a fork and knife.

[Dax Shepard]

Sure. I asked for a second.

[Monica Padman]

I'm sure again. I'm sure I have like, I'm sure I've eaten her hair. I've probably accidentally eaten a little bit of her fingernails.

[Dax Shepard]

I want feels the only one that feels dangerous because it could maybe cut your intestinal tract.

[Monica Padman]

Do you guys not bite your nails?

[Aaron Stinchcomb]

I do, I do.

[Monica Padman]

I've eaten it.

[Dax Shepard]

Then I chew on the nail and you're right. Sometimes I'm like, where is the nail.

[Monica Padman]

You ate it.

[Dax Shepard]

You ate it.

[Monica Padman]

Obviously.

[Aaron Stinchcomb]

Do you put it, you put it on a plate or something next to or when you're biting them off. No, wait, you said you were moving them.

[Dax Shepard]

Oh yeah, it was. She kept moving it all over the counter.

[Aaron Stinchcomb]

Oh, an earth.

[Dax Shepard]

She like couldn't get comfortable where she was putting it to remember me. I'm best case scenario remembering throw it away. But every time she commit to a place she'd be talking. Then she realized like oh, I'm gonna forget about it there.

[Monica Padman]

Yeah.

[Dax Shepard]

And then it bend up between.

[Monica Padman]

I put it in here in my computer. Then it was getting a little lost and I didn't like that. So I put it back up and then I did drop. It is lost.

[Dax Shepard]

Yeah. It went between your legs on the couch at some point.

[Monica Padman]

I just, I'm not that gross. I mean obviously it's my own.

[Dax Shepard]

Oh yeah, I don't care.

[Monica Padman]

No one's gross out by their own.

[Aaron Stinchcomb]

Oh my God. When I tear like I tear my nails or not my, my toenails.

[Monica Padman]

Yeah, me too.

[Aaron Stinchcomb]

And I wouldn't do this anywhere. Like I wouldn't do this at your house or in here, but at home I, I tear it all apart and I, and it just goes everywhere. Oh I, I want it to be a way from me like out in so, so when Ruthie gets so gross out because like if you vacuum next to my bed it's like.

[Monica Padman]

Oh my.

[Aaron Stinchcomb]

God, a bunch of nails.

[Dax Shepard]

Seven year old boy.

[Monica Lewinsky]

Yeah.

[Monica Padman]

Oh, I have a new one to add. Booger. Booger is last for me. Like I, I, I'd rather have everything above but Booger.

[Dax Shepard]

You'd rather eat a fingernail over?

[Monica Padman]

Yes.

[Dax Shepard]

That's extreme.

[Aaron Stinchcomb]

I think I would too.

[Monica Padman]

Anyway, let's clean it up. This is for Monica Lewinsky.

[Dax Shepard]

Okay, okay, okay. But do you want to hear the thing I say for you?

[Monica Padman]

Yes.

[Dax Shepard]

Hi. Monica and Dax. Love this episode so much. I know Monica doesn't read the comments, but I was the person with the clipboard who recognized Monica and said I was a big fan. Just to hopefully quell any anxiety in the future. I wanted to say that no one is judging you for not stopping baiting people with a motive cause is no matter how important is manipulative and counterproductive. Our goal is never to make anyone feel bad. It's great when people stop, but it's totally fine when they don't. We never know what each person is going through. Also, I promise every person out there has received serious verbal abuse. Lol. So a. Sorry, not today. Is perfect. Most of us who do this job are starving artists. And while we love the causes we represent, it's not our end goal either. Like you, we hope to not be harassing people on the street forever. You definitely didn't lose in Armchair. The interaction made my day.

[Monica Padman]

Aw.

[Dax Shepard]

Isn't that great?

[Monica Padman]

I feel so bad now.

[Dax Shepard]

You feel worse because she was letting you know that it's okay and she. You didn't lose. She's. And she liked meeting you. It was fine. Despite the fact that you were running from her as fast as you were.

[Monica Padman]

She doesn't do her. I know.

[Dax Shepard]

Monica's going, oh, so. Oh, thank. Like, right. You were.

[Monica Lewinsky]

Yes.

[Monica Padman]

I didn't know how to handle it.

[Dax Shepard]

Yeah. You got overwhelmed. I understand.

[Monica Padman]

That's such a nice person. The fact that she still listens is.

[Dax Shepard]

Morning Morgantown is her handle. Morning Morgantown.

[Aaron Stinchcomb]

I like that.

[Monica Padman]

Shout out.

[Dax Shepard]

Yeah.

[Monica Padman]

Thank you for listening and thank you for trying to make me feel better.

[Dax Shepard]

I was like, yeah, that's right. You leave your town and you come to la and you don't know what. You don't know what to do and you just gotta find something. And I can imagine myself having the job when I first got. Yeah. I can put myself in her shoes very easily.

[Monica Padman]

Me too. I did that.

[Dax Shepard]

Yeah. Coming here and just like, God, what? How on earth do I make a living? Okay. And some friend tells you, you know, you could be with a clipboard in front of Ralph's.

[Monica Padman]

Yeah.

[Dax Shepard]

Which is great because if you get hungry, it's directly behind you.

[Monica Padman]

Sure.

[Dax Shepard]

There's bathrooms.

[Monica Padman]

Sushi.

[Dax Shepard]

Sushi, yeah.

[Monica Padman]

She's a very nice person.

[Dax Shepard]

Yeah, I was happy to read that. And okay. What did she say? You can say, sorry.

[Monica Padman]

Sorry, not today.

[Dax Shepard]

She said, sounds great.

[Monica Padman]

Yeah, but I'm not good at it. I always fumble it twice. Yeah. Can't you just 2 for 2 on flubbing?

[Aaron Stinchcomb]

Put an earpiece in or something.

[Monica Padman]

Yeah, I know. I did think, like, that's a great idea. I need headphones. But I didn't. It was too.

[Dax Shepard]

You just go, well, how long has she been in the er?

[Monica Padman]

Wait, did they intubate?

[Dax Shepard]

Have they intubate? I mean, if you hear someone's dealing with intubation on the phone, you're not going to think they're.

[Monica Padman]

No, you're not.

[Dax Shepard]

Aaron, I wish you would have come a couple days earlier because Lincoln had a spectacular birthday party on Sunday and it was volleyball themed.

[Aaron Stinchcomb]

I saw the new rope.

[Dax Shepard]

Yep. Yeah.

[Aaron Stinchcomb]

Bright yellow rope. And I was like, oh, I was hoping there was a party coming. Up. But I missed it, huh?

[Dax Shepard]

Yeah. We did four games. It was so fun. Did it look intriguing this time?

[Aaron Stinchcomb]

No, nothing.

[Monica Padman]

But I was in the middle of so many other conversations. That piqued my interest much more.

[Dax Shepard]

What were the topics of those conversations?

[Monica Padman]

So many. The peptides.

[Dax Shepard]

Oh, right.

[Aaron Stinchcomb]

That's always a combo here.

[Monica Padman]

Exactly. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Dax Shepard]

Ask Aaron. Maybe Aaron feels like you do.

[Monica Padman]

How do you feel about peptides, Aaron?

[Aaron Stinchcomb]

My. My first thought is that I probably need a lot of peptides.

[Monica Padman]

We're not.

[Aaron Stinchcomb]

I want in.

[Monica Padman]

I knew he wasn't going to be presented like that. You knew he would not be?

[Dax Shepard]

No. I think it could easily go the other way because that would be consistent with Aaron. Because your. Your thing was like, why do we have to do all this shit? Like, now, everyone.

[Aaron Stinchcomb]

I brought it up suddenly to Ruthie, hoping that there'll be peptides in my house at some point.

[Dax Shepard]

I could, I could. I really did. I could see it going the other way where he'd be like, yeah, you look how you look. That's also very. Aaron.

[Monica Padman]

Apparently not.

[Aaron Stinchcomb]

Apparently not.

[Monica Padman]

Yeah.

[Aaron Stinchcomb]

Well, I mean, I've.

[Dax Shepard]

I guess someone's making peptides.

[Monica Padman]

That would have been my guess.

[Aaron Stinchcomb]

Yeah.

[Dax Shepard]

This is tricky because, like, Monica does, she's kind of.

[Monica Padman]

I had a whole therapy session about it.

[Aaron Stinchcomb]

About peptides?

[Monica Padman]

Yes, about the fact that so many people around me are taking these peptides. And there is something in my gut that tells me no to that. Not to other people, but for me, sure. And so. But it's hard when more and more and more people are doing it and.

[Aaron Stinchcomb]

They like it and everyone's yucking it up and loves all the new Pepsi.

[Monica Padman]

They like it. Yeah.

[Dax Shepard]

There was a very funny moment when you brought up that conversation because there was an exchange back and forth where it was like all these numbers. Remember how funny that was?

[Monica Padman]

It was so substance.

[Aaron Stinchcomb]

Our Pepsi peptides.

[Dax Shepard]

Okay.

[Aaron Stinchcomb]

Even though I said that, I. I don't think about them two seconds. Except for a month ago when I left here. I told Ruthie, you know, they got peptides for. Or I say, you know, these guys are taking peptides for this and that. I don't even remember what it is now, but I'm like, might want to get in on that. But I. But that's it. I don't know. Are they accessible? Where are these?

[Dax Shepard]

You can go to a hormone doctor. Most of them can prescribe you them. But this all started because a woman in Germany took a peptide that brings out all the melanin in your skin. And she has turned herself Black. And she's moving to Africa because she says she identifies as black. That's insanity. It's crazy. Yeah. It's offensive on a lot of levels. That's what started the whole peptide conversation.

[Aaron Stinchcomb]

The brain peptides. Oh, that's what I was interested in.

[Monica Padman]

What's that?

[Dax Shepard]

I think it's called Dihex or something. And it's a peptide that. Yeah. Makes you think faster, more sharp and such. And I take it on days with interviews and research.

[Aaron Stinchcomb]

God, like, I need that.

[Dax Shepard]

Yeah. Clear up some song.

[Monica Padman]

No, you don't.

[Aaron Stinchcomb]

Please.

[Monica Padman]

You've done a million interviews without peptides that have been great.

[Dax Shepard]

Oh, yeah.

[Monica Padman]

How do you know it's not actually making it worse?

[Aaron Stinchcomb]

Haven't you realized how I'm gonna have.

[Dax Shepard]

To rely on you? I've noticed for the last year that you're interviews have been bad. And then I'll go, oh, that's about the time.

[Monica Padman]

I don't think I haven't noticed any thing better.

[Dax Shepard]

Yeah. I mean, I don't know. Yeah. My memory is a little better. My recall. My word recall is a little sharper. And I take it on research interview days and not on.

[Aaron Stinchcomb]

Does it work instantly?

[Dax Shepard]

I don't even know. I mean, truthfully, I'm not even sure if it works. Works.

[Monica Padman]

Yeah. I don't know.

[Dax Shepard]

You don't feel any different. Nor do you. Like, you don't. You're on testosterone.

[Aaron Stinchcomb]

Yeah.

[Dax Shepard]

It's not like you take a shot of testosterone. You're like, I feel right. You don't feel anything.

[Monica Padman]

Yeah.

[Dax Shepard]

You just notice. Oh, I've worked out more. I've. You know, I. I've more engaged, like, retroactively. You kind of notice this.

[Aaron Stinchcomb]

I was a little bit afraid. I have the implant now. Testosterone in my ass cheek. So this is my second time. I just went in last week and.

[Dax Shepard]

Oh, yeah. One time it looked like you got shot.

[Aaron Stinchcomb]

Looked like my left butt cheek was gonna fall right off my body.

[Dax Shepard]

Yeah.

[Aaron Stinchcomb]

I don't.

[Dax Shepard]

It like bruised really bad.

[Aaron Stinchcomb]

Yeah. I like. I called up there and I was like, this is. I have pictures.

[Monica Padman]

Yeah.

[Aaron Stinchcomb]

You know, I don't know what you put in me, but of course, that was so long ago now. I was gladly turned over and let him do it in my other butt seat.

[Dax Shepard]

And this one went off without a hitch. Yeah. Oh, nice.

[Aaron Stinchcomb]

Yeah.

[Monica Padman]

Weird.

[Aaron Stinchcomb]

Yeah. So. And they said my levels were so good that we don't have to check it for six months or so instead of four.

[Dax Shepard]

Oh, wow. That's how long it lasts.

[Aaron Stinchcomb]

It's anywhere from three to Six.

[Dax Shepard]

Oh, weird.

[Aaron Stinchcomb]

You know, I never know. I'm never convinced I have testosterone, even when I'm shooting at myself.

[Dax Shepard]

Yeah.

[Aaron Stinchcomb]

Like, am I really putting testosterone in my body? Because I'm not.

[Dax Shepard]

Yeah.

[Aaron Stinchcomb]

I'm still tired and I don't have a sex drive.

[Dax Shepard]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's not. Yeah. They're not magic cure alls. They're just like. It gets your levels to where they were when you were 30. And when you were 30, you didn't. You weren't like, my God, I'm jumping over cars. You just were how you were.

[Monica Padman]

Yeah.

[Emma]

Stay tuned for more armchair Expert if you dare.

[Monica Padman]

But not the melanin. That's not back to when you're 30. That's changing. Something fundamental about yourself. This.

[Dax Shepard]

Yeah, this kicked off in a very fun debate.

[Monica Padman]

Yeah, I'm really against.

[Dax Shepard]

Yeah, you're really against it. And my counter was like, if you have a range of what your skin color is, like mine in the summer is.

[Monica Padman]

We all have a range.

[Dax Shepard]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. So you have a range of what your skin color is. Me in the summer, I way prefer. Right. I'm like six shades darker than I am in the wintertime. It's pretty dramatic. I tan pretty well. I way prefer to look that way. I can look that way if I sit in the sun all day. But if I could take a peptide that I would look that exact shade that I naturally look anyways without all the sun damage. It seems kind of crazy not to do that if you're just picking between ours in the sun versus this peptide.

[Monica Padman]

But you're not picking that. You don't have to pick that. You could pick just living a normal life where sometimes you look tan and sometimes you don't.

[Dax Shepard]

But if I have a choice, I would look tan.

[Monica Padman]

Everyone has. Has to deal with. There are things I like about myself and there are things I don't, and there are things that I like in the summer and things that I. Whatever. Like being able to have everything you want. I think is bad Buddhism.

[Dax Shepard]

Sure.

[Aaron Stinchcomb]

I think if I could take a peptide for my skin right now.

[Dax Shepard]

Yeah, right. Don't you want it?

[Aaron Stinchcomb]

This is insane.

[Dax Shepard]

Summertime. Aaron Tan's really gorgeous.

[Monica Padman]

Aaron. It's who you are.

[Dax Shepard]

No, no, it's just him in a. In April.

[Monica Lewinsky]

Exactly.

[Dax Shepard]

In April.

[Monica Padman]

Correct. It's who you are in April. So you have to be who you are in April.

[Dax Shepard]

Well, hold on. Should they. Do you have the same policy on whitening toothpaste? You have a range of what your teeth whiteness could be. You can Use this product. That'll make them the whitest they're possible.

[Monica Padman]

Yeah, I think that's fine.

[Dax Shepard]

Super supportive of that.

[Monica Padman]

I think that's fine. I think whitening toothpaste is fine. I. I do think it's mostly accessible whitening toothpaste.

[Dax Shepard]

Right.

[Monica Padman]

I think everyone can have whitening toothpaste.

[Dax Shepard]

But now we're jumping topics.

[Monica Padman]

No, it's all connected for me though. It's like if you. If you are able to make yourself perf in quotes perfect.

[Dax Shepard]

Well, I think that'd be a good distinction. I'm arguing to be the best version of yourself you can be. You comb your hair, you cut your hair, you brush your teeth. You do all the. You take care of your skin. You put moisture. You're trying to be the very best version of yourself. And so my favorite version of myself is July because I think I look best tan. And I can do that through sun damage or I could do it through a peptide and get no sun damage. It seems preferable.

[Monica Padman]

Okay.

[Dax Shepard]

Now, you're right about the fact that I'm going to get sun damage anyways because I like to be outside and I'm going to be on a boat and ride motorcycles and hiking. So in my case, it's. It's kind of.

[Monica Padman]

I just think we need to. We have limits. Humans have limits on who they can be. And I think it's okay to have limits. And I actually think it's. Well, what we did talk about and what I did, what came up in therapy, which is I had to. I've had a many, many, many long years worth of figuring out how to accept myself.

[Dax Shepard]

Yeah.

[Monica Padman]

And physical things that I don't like being different from everybody else. I feel that for the most part. For the most part, it's pretty tenuous. But still, I've achieved that. And I think it's an important part of being a person to accept yourself.

[Dax Shepard]

On the surface, that sounds correct. But I would argue we would draw a line in that statement somewhere.

[Monica Padman]

We're all born looking a certain way.

[Dax Shepard]

Yeah.

[Monica Padman]

And there are things we like and things we don't like. And I think you gotta just learn to accept that. And you know, another. We were. We were at this birthday party with all these children who I think are perfect.

[Dax Shepard]

Oh, yeah. Me too.

[Monica Padman]

And the idea that they are gonna go inject their bodies with things to change who they are is so sad to. To me.

[Dax Shepard]

Yeah.

[Monica Padman]

And I can see it in the children. We're the children. I mean, that's. We are them. We should just accept who we are.

[Dax Shepard]

Yeah. I just think it's a huge spectrum. And it's not black or white. It's like, we don't accept that our teeth are yellow. We don't accept that we can't see right without glasses. We. There's tons of stuff. We don't accept that our hair shouldn't be styled and conditioned, and we don't accept that our skin makes enough moisture to look how we want. We put moisture on it. It's just like you're just moving out the ring. But my, my.

[Monica Padman]

We are.

[Dax Shepard]

My. What's that?

[Monica Padman]

We are. That's my whole point, is what's the. When are you.

[Dax Shepard]

What's the stopping point?

[Monica Lewinsky]

Yeah.

[Dax Shepard]

Yeah. And so what I landed on in that conversation was, yeah, I felt awkward and had a big nose and was super skinny in high school, and I learned to bet on my personality, and I did that. I made that growth, and that is where my core self esteem comes from. Also. This is my one trip on planet Earth, and I'm going to go as hard as I can on this trip. I'm going to try to have the exact body I always wanted. And I'm going to try to, you know, I'm going to try to do everything on this one trip aesthetically, in every single way, every conceivable way. Travel to the whole place. Like, I'm going to devour the whole trip.

[Monica Padman]

Sure. That's you.

[Dax Shepard]

Yeah, yeah.

[Monica Padman]

And you. You can do that for me. It's just like, well, what's. When are we going to stop? When everyone looks exactly the same. Like, what?

[Dax Shepard]

But by the way, I get it. And I think what you're saying is totally valid.

[Monica Padman]

Anyway, well, what else?

[Dax Shepard]

You're going to join us. I asked you this morning. Oh, you are?

[Monica Padman]

Yeah, I am. I'm excited.

[Dax Shepard]

Yeah.

[Monica Padman]

Yeah. I'm going to come and wrap you guys. Deliver food.

[Aaron Stinchcomb]

Very exciting.

[Dax Shepard]

Deliver some food.

[Monica Padman]

Kind of scared.

[Dax Shepard]

Well, you know what you should be scared about? It's pretty consistent. You smell a lot of food and you get pretty hungry, but you're working.

[Aaron Stinchcomb]

Yeah.

[Monica Padman]

There's no time to eat on the job.

[Dax Shepard]

Not time to pull over, go into.

[Aaron Stinchcomb]

Their bags of food.

[Monica Padman]

Oh, can we order our own food?

[Dax Shepard]

That's what ends up happening, is we get home so hungry and ready to order, and then I spend way more.

[Aaron Stinchcomb]

Than I have 40 times what was made.

[Monica Padman]

Oh, wow.

[Dax Shepard]

Yeah.

[Aaron Stinchcomb]

Did you explain the. To it already on the podcast, what we're doing?

[Monica Padman]

We did, but you can do it.

[Aaron Stinchcomb]

You did? Oh, I just wondered. I haven't no one mentioned it to me, so I didn't hear.

[Dax Shepard]

Yeah, I have a. I have a. A delivery account. And we turn it on and then we just start delivering food and we shoot the shit. And then we ask some reader questions, some moral dumbfounding questions, and it's delightful. It's delightful.

[Aaron Stinchcomb]

Yeah.

[Dax Shepard]

And you're on a car ride. You know what is interesting? I think I might have already told you this. I'm realizing now I don't know how it'll translate. There's such a specific way people communicate in a car, and I'm really seeing it now that I'm editing it.

[Monica Padman]

Yeah.

[Dax Shepard]

When you talk in a car, you really talk because it's there up front.

[Monica Padman]

Oh, interesting.

[Dax Shepard]

There's. There's kind of a cool openness because you're not looking eye to eye with anyone. There's. There's some weird outcome of not staring at each other while you're talking, which is. It's just different and interesting.

[Monica Padman]

Cool.

[Dax Shepard]

It's so car talk. Like, soon as you're hearing it, you're like, yeah, that's a road trip with friends. Or that's driving to go get food with friends. That's what it sounds. It just has a very specific sound.

[Monica Padman]

That's fun.

[Dax Shepard]

Yeah.

[Monica Padman]

I like. I'm excited.

[Dax Shepard]

I like that.

[Monica Padman]

I just remembered part of why I don't like Peptides. Yeah. Okay. Or what? Part of what's bothering me.

[Dax Shepard]

Yeah.

[Monica Padman]

Is obvious. It's about me.

[Dax Shepard]

Sure. All things that bother us are about us.

[Monica Padman]

I feel like I'm scared that nothing is real. Like that there's nothing, Nothing basic that we can all touch down on anymore. As real as reality. Just like, I mean, in the news, in personal life, in everything, it's like, is there anything we could all agree on?

[Dax Shepard]

Yeah.

[Monica Padman]

And it's starting to feel less and less and less so. And I. That scares me.

[Dax Shepard]

Huh.

[Aaron Stinchcomb]

It makes sense.

[Monica Padman]

It's weird.

[Dax Shepard]

I mean, were you. I might feel like you white people, you already hit the lottery and now you want more.

[Monica Padman]

Oh, that is for 100% part of it too. Like when I. I'm thinking specifically about some of the people, I'm like, now.

[Aaron Stinchcomb]

You want my skin tone?

[Monica Padman]

Exactly. Literally. It's like, oh, you're. You have been happy to be superior to this your whole life. But. So you're gonna. But you're gonna pick and choose the things you like about differences and, and, and take them on, but you're not really different, so you don't have to deal with the negative side of it. But you get the positive.

[Dax Shepard]

Well, that's specifically with making yourself black skin.

[Monica Padman]

Skin color.

[Dax Shepard]

Yes.

[Monica Padman]

That's a big thing. Like, oh, I like the way it looks, but I don't want to be, like, marginalized. I would have liked to have been lighter and. And I couldn't do that. Right. So there's a part of me that's like, so you guys can't do that. It's not fair. It's just not fair.

[Dax Shepard]

For me, the ethical line in the sand is if you're going past what you just naturally look like, there's. That's dicey.

[Aaron Stinchcomb]

So you can get August tan.

[Dax Shepard]

But exactly like what you really like. You could just decide to go to a tanning booth. No one would be mad about someone going to a tanning booth.

[Monica Padman]

Yeah, that's true. But that feels temporary. That doesn't feel it.

[Dax Shepard]

So is this peptide. It doesn't permanently turn you.

[Monica Padman]

So she has to do that like.

[Dax Shepard]

Oh, she's on a horse dose of that thing forever. Yeah. Until she decides she wants to be white again.

[Monica Padman]

Yeah, exactly.

[Aaron Stinchcomb]

Which will probably be soon.

[Monica Padman]

Exactly.

[Dax Shepard]

There she is.

[Monica Padman]

There she is.

[Aaron Stinchcomb]

Oh, gosh.

[Monica Padman]

I know.

[Dax Shepard]

Can you believe that? Also, she has like triple H titties. Like, so this notion that she's like on the savannah trying to be Maasai and she has these enormous bolt ons.

[Monica Padman]

It's just wild.

[Aaron Stinchcomb]

Wait, okay. And I know I'm behind. I have so many questions.

[Dax Shepard]

Yeah, it does her hair.

[Monica Padman]

I know.

[Dax Shepard]

That's what I said. The hair is very confusing. Now, if there were a peptide that I could take that would give me thick thack hair, I would do it in a second.

[Monica Padman]

You don't get to.

[Dax Shepard]

Or do I? Maybe I will. I'm already putting a topical on to try to keep it as thick as possible. And that's not a problem. It seems like the difference is like whether it's external or internal is like the.

[Monica Padman]

That is a difference for me. I don't know why. Yeah, well, I mean, it is change. It is changing, like, cellularly, which I think is bad or unfair.

[Dax Shepard]

Yeah.

[Monica Padman]

Just. Yeah.

[Aaron Stinchcomb]

I don't think there's much going on with this talk outside of Los Angeles right now.

[Monica Padman]

Okay, that's a good question. I have.

[Dax Shepard]

Yeah. Maybe this is like.

[Aaron Stinchcomb]

And when I say that, I just mean in Michigan.

[Monica Padman]

I haven't heard one person talk about it.

[Dax Shepard]

Well, no, this is likely a conversation that will be happening in the rest of the country and in a couple years, just like every other thing that starts here. Minimally, we would agree these Are really kind of our arbitrary lines we draw everywhere. I draw them too.

[Monica Padman]

They are.

[Dax Shepard]

I draw them too. Like. Yeah. I think me going and getting facial reconstructive surgery and a different. Getting Brad Pitt's nose and stuff. For me, for whatever reason, that is a betrayal of who I was born to be. And then taking testosterone and eating lots of protein and working out. That's not to me. And it's just. I decided that.

[Monica Padman]

Right.

[Dax Shepard]

You know?

[Monica Padman]

Yeah, exactly. Yeah.

[Dax Shepard]

Like, I. I want Brad Pitt's body in Fight Club and I'm. I'm happy to go pursue it in any way I can. And I would not be happy trying to pursue his face in any way I could.

[Monica Padman]

Well, you wouldn't pursue it. You wouldn't. Well, maybe you would. You wouldn't like, go get surgery. If there was a surgery, I wouldn't get it.

[Dax Shepard]

No. I wouldn't get like calf implants. Right. Exactly. Yeah. So. Right. There's some weird line where my muscles also have to be real.

[Monica Padman]

Yeah.

[Dax Shepard]

It's all so arbitrary.

[Monica Padman]

It is, it is, it is. But it's just feeling like there's really just shaky ground everywhere. And I just don't know what I just need to be. What I need to do is just get very clear with myself of what matters to me. Like, it doesn't. Whatever everyone else does is what everyone else does. That's fine. But I just need to, like, sit with what I.

[Dax Shepard]

And by the way, this is the tip of the iceberg. Like, this is what's going to happen in cascade fashion over our lifetime.

[Monica Padman]

Yeah, I know.

[Dax Shepard]

This stuff's coming out hourly. Like, what? They can do that. What? They brought back the fucking. They brought back dire wolves today. I don't know if you saw that.

[Monica Padman]

In the news from Game of Thrones.

[Dax Shepard]

Yes.

[Monica Padman]

What do you mean?

[Dax Shepard]

Those. Those wolves that are referenced in Game of Thrones, they got DNA off something and they've brought them back. They're real big ass wolves.

[Monica Padman]

Oh, my God.

[Dax Shepard]

Yeah.

[Aaron Stinchcomb]

Yeah.

[Dax Shepard]

I mean, they're not gonna be again.

[Monica Padman]

It's like, then what are we gonna do? Bring back a dinosaur.

[Dax Shepard]

I hope.

[Aaron Stinchcomb]

I hope so too.

[Dax Shepard]

Yes, you guys are.

[Aaron Stinchcomb]

I want a baby me one for my room.

[Dax Shepard]

What kind do you want your room?

[Aaron Stinchcomb]

I want a baby Dinosaurus.

[Dax Shepard]

Yeah. Oh, have you ever heard Aaron say.

[Monica Padman]

That he is a cute. Yeah, I have.

[Dax Shepard]

He does it so good. We do one.

[Monica Padman]

Aaron, you want to do it?

[Aaron Stinchcomb]

Yeah, that I'm doing.

[Dax Shepard]

It's like synthesizers in his throat.

[Monica Padman]

Okay. Monica Lewinsky.

[Dax Shepard]

Monica Lewinsky. Risky Facts.

[Monica Padman]

Okay. What does it mean for Mercury to be in retrograde. In astrology, Mercury in retrograde means the planet Mercury appears to move backward in the sky from Earth's perspective. And astrologers believe this period can lead to miscommunications, travel delays and other challenges related to Mercury's domains of communication, travel and technology. During a Mercury retrograde period, astrologers believe that communication can become more challenging. Oh, I already said that. Sorry.

[Dax Shepard]

That's proof of it.

[Monica Padman]

We are probably in retrograde right now because it goes into retrograde roughly every 30 days. And each retrograde cycle lasts for about three weeks. So there we have very few days where we're not in retrograde, it seems, which I don't understand that part.

[Dax Shepard]

It seems like it have to be exactly 50. 50 it's going to approach is the exact same amount of time it retreats.

[Monica Padman]

Yeah, I don't get it.

[Dax Shepard]

I don't get it. But astrology doesn't make sense. So that's why it's consistent with astrology a little bit.

[Monica Padman]

Sure.

[Dax Shepard]

That brings that makes me think Aaron's daughter's born on leap year.

[Monica Padman]

Oh, she's only so rare.

[Dax Shepard]

She's only four years old.

[Aaron Stinchcomb]

Oh no, she's not four yet.

[Dax Shepard]

Oh, she's now. Yeah, she's driving but she's not four. Yeah. Well, what is that on her license? Four. But they let her drive for her picture.

[Monica Padman]

So cute. She's not four.

[Aaron Stinchcomb]

Oh, she used to hate that when she was young. But she has embraced it fully and loves, you know.

[Monica Padman]

Yeah.

[Dax Shepard]

I would feel very robbed that two years in a row your birthday doesn't even pop up on the calendar.

[Monica Padman]

No, but you're so unique.

[Aaron Stinchcomb]

Yeah, she's embraced the uniqueness it used to be though. Cause she's the baby and so they're like you're one. You would make her, you know, like that's all you gotta say is you're one. And they can say it for four years you that you're one. So.

[Monica Padman]

Yeah, so that's tough.

[Aaron Stinchcomb]

She would cry and hated being one.

[Monica Padman]

Oh yeah. But yeah, it's gonna really work in her favor the older she gets. She's gonna be 16.

[Dax Shepard]

Yeah. How have you liked your new tattoo?

[Aaron Stinchcomb]

Oh, I love it.

[Dax Shepard]

Oh, good. Yeah, yeah, good. Because it was a last minute decision.

[Aaron Stinchcomb]

It was. I mean, why the hell not?

[Dax Shepard]

Yes.

[Aaron Stinchcomb]

I'm very excited. You and I. I got a matching tattoo.

[Dax Shepard]

Me too.

[Aaron Stinchcomb]

I've said, I've told a lot of people. Just too cute.

[Dax Shepard]

Just too cute.

[Aaron Stinchcomb]

When we're together it's just two Cuties.

[Dax Shepard]

Just two cuties. That's what it stands for.

[Monica Padman]

Does anyone think it has to do with Jesus Christ?

[Aaron Stinchcomb]

Not yet.

[Monica Padman]

Okay.

[Dax Shepard]

But it can in the right company. It means does know.

[Monica Padman]

Right.

[Dax Shepard]

What would it mean? Jesus to Christ.

[Monica Padman]

Jesus to Christ.

[Dax Shepard]

Yeah, well, I love Jesus twice as much. The second coming of Christ. Second coming. It's all about the second coming.

[Monica Padman]

Oh, that's.

[Dax Shepard]

Yeah, it's the sequel of JC.

[Aaron Stinchcomb]

Oh God.

[Dax Shepard]

JC2.

[Monica Padman]

So you're. Oh my God. It's claiming that you yourself are the second coming?

[Dax Shepard]

No, just you're declaring. I can't wait for the second coming.

[Monica Padman]

Oh, I see. Okay. Okay. Number of married people in the United. United states in the 80s versus now in 2023, there were 62.18 million married couples in the United States. This is an increase from 40.2 million married couples in 1960. While the number of married couples in the US has increased in the past few decades, this could very well be just due to a population change. Since the US population has been increasing, the marriage rate has decreased significantly since 1990. 90. In addition, the divorce rate has almost halved since 1990.

[Dax Shepard]

Oh, that's kind of good news. So less people are getting married, but more people are staying married. Yeah, percentage are staying married. I guess that's a silver lining.

[Monica Padman]

Despite concerns that more people are getting divorced than in years past. Okay, now, did Molly Ringwall marry a Beastie Boy? No.

[Dax Shepard]

Did you think that?

[Aaron Stinchcomb]

No.

[Monica Padman]

Okay, okay. That now not.

[Dax Shepard]

Mendela effect.

[Monica Padman]

Correct. The Menendez brothers. Eric's 54, Lyall's 57, Monica's 51. So she never. She was. She missed high school with Lyle, but.

[Dax Shepard]

Was there for a year or two.

[Monica Padman]

Monica Winsky went to high school with the Menendez brothers.

[Dax Shepard]

Wow.

[Aaron Stinchcomb]

Can't wait.

[Dax Shepard]

That's how Stinchcomb came up.

[Aaron Stinchcomb]

Yeah.

[Dax Shepard]

Cuz I was like, can you imagine going to high school with that circus going on? Cuz he was still a. The younger brother was still. Still in high school. Right?

[Monica Padman]

Yeah, I think.

[Aaron Stinchcomb]

Oh yeah.

[Monica Padman]

Crazy scary. Well, that's it for Ms. Monica.

[Dax Shepard]

Oh, it was.

[Monica Padman]

You think Hermione hangs out with Monica Lewinsky?

[Dax Shepard]

I hate to say this because I really do like Ms. Lewinsky, but I prefer my mom, Monica Padman.

[Monica Padman]

Oh, thank you.

[Dax Shepard]

Yeah, she's a very good mom.

[Monica Padman]

I do care deeply for him. Even though he's an old man.

[Dax Shepard]

I think that's okay. Everything's always.

[Monica Padman]

Because I don't know when he's here and when he's left, you know, he's always.

[Dax Shepard]

Yeah, I very rarely leave my apartment. When you find a place you like where I'm at in Colorado, New Mexico, Arizona, usa, you stick around.

[Monica Padman]

Yeah. All right. That's it for Monica.

[Dax Shepard]

All right. Love you. Love you, Aaron. Follow Armchair Expert on the Wondry app, Amazon Music, or wherever you get your podcasts. You can listen to every episode of Armchair Expert early and ad free right now by joining Wondry plus in the Wondry app or on Apple Podcasts. Before you go, tell us about yourself by completing a short [e-mail] survey.