Ep 342 – The Skin We Feel In – Emotional Skin (Grief and Anger)

Summary

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ASCP Esty Talk, Ep 342 – The Skin We Feel In – Emotional Skin (Grief and Anger)

Host: Alec Cressman & Maggie Stasik
Date: August 20, 2025

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Episode Overview

This episode of ASCP Esty Talk dives deep into the intimate connection between emotions—specifically grief and anger—and their visible impact on the skin. Host Alec Cressman and co-host Maggie Stasik explore how emotional states can manifest physically, often mimicking classic skin conditions, and discuss why it’s critical for estheticians to recognize and address these emotional roots for holistic client care. The conversation blends clinical observations, scientific research, and practical in-treatment advice, emphasizing the importance of empathy, intuition, and personalized rituals.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. The Undiscussed Role of Emotions in Aesthetics

• Emotional Health in Skincare: Alec reflects on how traditional esthetics education often overlooks the role of emotions in skin health.
  • “We didn't discuss it. But it's such an important part of what we do because emotions like grief...there's a huge influence on the skin.” (B, 02:54)

2. Three Frameworks for Understanding Emotional Skin Responses

• Psychodermatology:

  • The psychological state’s impact on skin health.
  • “This is the study of how psychological states like stress and anxiety, depression, how those impact the skin health and how the skin functions. Some may say you can think of it like a mood ring.” (B, 04:39)

• Neuroimmunology:

  • The nervous and immune systems’ communication affecting the skin—exemplified by stress-induced breakouts and rosacea.
  • “Chronic stress increases cortisol and that suppresses immunity...the door is open for skin conditions.” (B, 05:46)
  • The gut-brain-skin axis validates the importance of holistic practices.

• Energetic Skin Responses:

  • Subtle, immediate reactions like blushing or breakouts related to emotional frequencies.
  • “It’s kind of like a tuning fork. It's able to resonate with whatever emotional frequency you're carrying.” (B, 07:27)

3. Grief’s Impact on Clients’ Skin

• Manifestations:
  • Dullness, laxity, dehydration—often mistaken for aging or fatigue.
  • “What I saw in my clients is a manifestation of dullness, laxity, dehydration...the physiology of what's happening is there was a parasympathetic withdrawal.” (B, 09:04)
• Physiological Explanation:
  • Slowed cell activity and microcirculation; lymph stagnation.
• Treatment Adjustments:
  • Avoid overstimulation; favor lymphatic drainage, grounding touch, flower essences, and grief-informed aromatherapy.
  • Encourage ritual over routine for self-care (e.g., mindful application of moisturizer, hydration tracking).
  • “Encouraging something called a ritual versus a routine...it really helped not just with grief but with other emotions.” (B, 10:44)
• Self-Care at Home:
  • Focus on nourishment (ceramides) and gentle massage techniques.
  • “That is the definition of self-care. Giving back to the self and allowing for healing.” (C, 11:09)

4. Anger and Skin: The "Fire Within"

• Case Study Trigger:
  • Inspired by a study linking pimples and anger, Alec began tracking client experiences.
• Symptoms:
  • Heat, redness, eruptions (especially jawline and temples), congestion.
  • Risk of misdiagnosis as acne, hormonal breakouts, or rosacea.
• Deeper Roots:
  • “It's this unexpected rest frustration that is literally showing up on the skin.” (B, 12:41)
  • Chinese medicine links: Sympathetic dominance, liver overload (liver as the “angry organ”).
  • “If there was a pimple between the eyebrows...I'm like, they're pissed.” (B, 13:32)
• In-Treatment Strategies:
  • Avoid heat-based treatments, harsh exfoliation, and invalidating language.
  • Use cooling masks, herbal compresses (e.g., chamomile), rhythmic techniques.
  • “...Using cooling masks, using even like herbal compresses, some that have chamomile, and then rhythmic techniques to help release the heat.” (B, 14:36)
• Home Rituals:
  • Botanical spot treatments, adaptogens, journaling (even with a pen that doesn’t work), and movement.
  • “One of my favorite instructions for my clients is to journal with a pen that doesn't work. So at least they're getting the emotion out.” (B, 15:21)

5. Emotional Nuance: Even Joy Can Disrupt Skin

• Hyperactivity:
  • “That like, hyperactivity also happens in the skin where there's a hyper proliferation of sebum or oil, and that can result in pimples too.” (B, 17:11)
  • Care for clients exhibiting emotional “highs” by monitoring for excess oil and adjusting pacing.

6. Communication, Boundaries & Self-Protection

• Intuitive & Sensitive Client Care:
  • Clinical discernment is necessary to recognize emotional overlays in skin conditions.
  • Offer open-ended questions: “What is your skin processing right now?” (B, 17:53)
• Energetic Boundaries:
  • “You can have empathy, but you can't take it on...Your job is to encourage long term support...hopefully they can rebuild this emotional safety in the skin.” (B, 18:17)
• Reframing Retail:
  • Encourage clients to see aftercare as nourishment, not just compliance.

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• “The skin is both a barrier and a communicator...it tells the story.” — Alec Cressman (B, 07:54)
• “I love what you're saying about a ritual, not a routine, because I think that is the definition of self care.” — Maggie Stasik (C, 11:09)
• “With Joy, you have to be aware...There can be an emotional reason...you want to maybe slow things down.” — Alec Cressman (B, 17:17)
• On emotional boundaries:
  • “You can't take on their grief. You can have empathy, but you can't take it on.” — Alec Cressman (B, 18:15)
  • “Whether you are...diving into the emotional stability of your clients or not, being able to keep that boundary...is very important.” — Maggie Stasik (C, 19:04)
• On emotional skin mimicry:
  • “You can't just ask them, are you pissed today?...recognize emotional patterns.” — Alec Cressman (B, 17:49)

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Timestamps for Key Segments

• [02:54] – Emotional health overlooked in traditional esthetics education
• [04:34] – Introduction to psychodermatology, neuroimmunology, and energetic skin responses
• [09:04] – Grief's physiological impact on skin
• [11:09] – From routines to rituals in self-care for grief
• [12:41] – Observing anger’s "fire" on the skin
• [13:32] – Chinese medicine and “pissed off” skin between the eyebrows
• [14:36] – Cooling and calming treatments for anger
• [15:21] – Journaling as emotional release
• [17:11] – Joy’s hyperactivity affecting the skin
• [17:49] – Language & questions for emotional awareness in treatment
• [18:15] – Protecting your energy as the practitioner

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Conclusion

This episode illuminates the critical link between emotions and skin health, urging estheticians to view the skin as a living record of a client’s internal world—not just a canvas for products and treatments. Alec and Maggie blend science, empathy, and practical wisdom to promote holistic, individualized care, while cautioning practitioners to safeguard their own well-being. The actionable guidance on client communication, treatment adjustments, and self-care rituals provides a rich resource for anyone seeking to integrate emotional awareness into their skincare practice.

Transcript

[A]

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[B]

Hello and welcome to ASCP Esty Talk. I'm Alec Cressman, licensed esthetician, really cool human being and content contributor for Associated Skincare Professionals.

[C]

I am Maggie Stasik, licensed esthetician and ASCP's program director.

[B]

So I have a shout out today. I have a shout out today to all of the San Antonio estheticians. I'd like to explain more. So about a month ago I was able to attend an event in San Antonio hosted by Desiree and Jackie, who run like a really cool professionals group there. And the event itself was called Glow and Gather. And it was such a nice meeting of a lot of professionals, especially you know who was there, Tommy Bri, the SD of the year.

[C]

Oh, that's awesome.

[B]

In person, she's so humble, she's so cool. She's so relaxed. I wasn't expecting that. I was expecting that. Hey, how's it going? You know that traditional professional. It felt very familiar. But Jackie and Desiree put on the most amazing event. It was really cool and all just because not to gain anything financially. So one of the things that we talked about that day, or my presentation specifically, was on emotions and the skin. You were in education.

[C]

Yes.

[B]

And you were an esthetician. And how much did we talk about emotions?

[C]

Oh, it was off the table. We did not discuss it.

[B]

We didn't discuss it. But it's such an important part of what we do because emotions like grief is a big one, especially with what we're going through now as a collective conscious, if you will. And Then even anger. They deserve special attention, mostly because there's a huge influence on the skin, but also because they're misidentified and then mistreated. And if you're misidentifying or mistreating because the root cause is not as it appears, then you're not having great results and it could interfere so very much. Something to consider. They have a huge influence on the skin barrier because honestly, we can't separate skin from the nervous system. So if it's okay, I'd like to talk about two of the emotional skin responses and how they're different from a classic skin condition. We're going to talk about skin mimics.

[C]

Yeah, very interesting, Very interesting.

[B]

This all came about because I've, you know, been practicing for a long time, but I noticed through different changes in what's going on in the world, for example, or my clients personal lives, that they were coming in and I was seeing things, but their skin wasn't responding the way it should by traditional ways of teaching, the way it should in diving deeper in. I did my own analysis and my own in vivo experiments, but I also did a ton of research on the subject. And there's three things that I really feel influence the skin response to emotions. They are psychodermatology, neuroimmunology, and energetic skin responses.

[C]

Okay.

[B]

Have you ever heard of psychodermatology?

[C]

This one I have, yeah. But the other two I have not.

[B]

So psychodermatology is like breaking down of two words. I feel like my big fat regretting. You tell me a word, I'll tell you its source. So psycho, meaning brain, and dermatology, meaning skin. This is the study of how psychological states like stress and anxiety, depression, how those impact the skin health and how the skin functions. Some may say you can think of it like a mood ring. It reflects what's going on. The skin as our largest emotional organ, that I can look at you and see what's going on with you, even though you haven't said a word. Have you noticed that, that you're like.

[C]

Totally reading my mind right now?

[B]

I'm definitely analyzing what's happening. The next is neuroimmunology. So neuroimmunology is the skin's mind, body, messenger system. It studies how the nervous system and the immune system interact and how that communication can influence skin health. We see this in like, breakouts. Rosacea is a fantastic example of neuroimmunology in real time. Key things to consider with this is like stress and cortisol. So chronic stress increases cortisol and then that suppresses immunity. And if you have suppressed immunity, then the door is open for skin conditions. Very well versed. Or maybe a way we haven't connected this before is the gut brain, skin axis. That's neuroimmunology. And it matters because it explains why emotional states can worsen skin conditions. But it also kind of validates holistic practices. And when I. I want to say. When I'm saying holistic, I'm not meaning the way I grew up thinking of holistic, which is like a hippie, totally out there health food store person. I'm saying a person as a whole.

[C]

Yeah, whole body.

[B]

Health. Whole body. And one thing to consider is functional medicine. Like the word, the term functional medicine, which is gaining popularity outside of western medicine, which is just symptomatic, really, looking at everything that's going on to get to root causes. The next and final is energetic skin responses. So these are the emotional imprints that have an influence on like texture or tone or even tolerance. These are subtle shifts in skin. Think of when you get embarrassed, what happens?

[C]

Oh, you blush.

[B]

You blush. Yeah. There's an emotional skin response, and those are immediate examples. But we also have emotional skin response, again in Rosacea and a couple others. It's kind of like a tuning fork. It's able to resonate with whatever emotional frequency you're carrying. So breakouts between the brows. If you're upset, for example, this goes really closely in line with Chinese face mapping. And it's important because this is going to encourage intuitive training, treatment or intuitive offerings and then adjustments. And the bottom line, the skin is both a barrier and a communicator. So it's stopping, but it's also telling. It tells the story. This is something we've talked about before with like aging. Like, if you want to know someone's to age, where do you look?

[C]

Their neck or their hand?

[B]

Their neck or their hand? Yeah, you best believe I'm trying to fight against that. Same goes when we're looking at emotional dysregulation. You can see it. Let's talk about grief. At first. So I mentioned I was in San Antonio and we led with talking about grief because this was right after the floods. Okay. But this is something I noticed in my clients after the fires. So maybe practitioners in Los Angeles or practitioners in North Carolina after recent weather issues. Or we're also in a blue state. So I'm just saying in times of election, no matter red or blue, there's some clients will come in and they don't even know it. But they're grieving. Those are the non obvious ways. Obviously if somebody's lost a loved one, a pet or is just had a relationship. So on similar presentation, way more obvious. But there was this collective grieving in the community. Didn't really understand why because there was this mass destruction and it had a ripple through the community.

[C]

And what did you see in your clients?

[B]

What I saw in my clients is a manifestation of dullness, laxity, dehydration. And that would be misidentified as aging or dry skin or fatigue skin. But really what's happening, the physiology of what's happening is there was a parasympathetic withdrawal. So decreased activity because there was grief. Just think about like it's weighing heavy on my heart is a saying there's heaviness that's all around means you're kind of moving slow through life as are your cells, your skin cells, your immunity. It's all going really, really slow. So this also reduces microcirculation. So the skin is not getting the nutrients that it needs because honestly the efforts are going to the vital organs. And then there's lymph stagnation. So it's just stick staying there and hanging out. So what I would say not to do with clients who are presenting with real grief is not to overstimulate, not to have aggressive exfoliation and not to bypass the emotional state, not to acknowledge it. Instead performing lymphatic drainage even while cleansing the skin. It doesn't have to be this long 20 minute session, but adding elements when applying the moisturizer, the mask really helped nourish the skin. And then also using grounding touch, even adding flower essences or grief informed aromatherapy. Something to pick up where you can because sometimes it's just real heavy. It's not going to have that influence. The other thing was what they were doing at home. So encouraging something called a ritual versus a routine. It really helped not just with grief but with other emotions. So specifically for grief, obviously like heavy on the ceramides because they're going to need that to hold on to what they have. But also like massaging, teaching them how to put on their moisturizer, just like I talked spoke about here and then tracking how much water they're drinking.

[C]

I love what you're saying about a ritual, not a routine. Cause I think that is the definition of self care. Right. So giving back to the self and allowing for healing this and it works.

[B]

In these emotional states there's doing something they're already doing, but they're doing the self care portion of it too. So something else happened with anger. Now, granted, it wasn't, to be quite honest with you, in 2015, I think it was, I actually saw a study that was trying to tie a connection between pimples and anger. Interesting. That's what set it off for me. I read it and I was like, oh my gosh, could that be true? So I started paying attention to my clients who had acne. I was going through the standard checklist, okay, we're changing oil, we're changing hydration. Something else is, is it stress? What's going on? So the symptoms of what I'm saying is anger is this analogy of the fire inside of the clients. And it's different, right? Like it's not just an acne client, but those who were coming on, oh a traffic was horrible. You wouldn't believe what's going on and my ex husband this or my, you know, boss that. They were coming in hot, almost literally. And a lot of it, I'm telling you what they're saying now, but some, it took a little bit more digging, which we're going to talk about in a minute. But it's this unexpected rest frustration that is literally showing up on the skin. So it was the skin symptoms were heat, redness, eruptions, especially like jawline temples and then congestion. So this would be really easy to misidentify as acne or hormonal breakouts. I love how you know which is not wrong because it is initiating a hormone response or even rosacea. Rosacea clients were the best. And I noticed a correlation specifically in one rosacea client who was so unhappy with everything. Her neighbors, the traffic, the grocery store, this everything was like, ugh, she's the one that you stage after. But she wasn't responding any other way that I knew how. What I found out is the underlying physiology of the skin is the sympathetic dominance and a liver overload. Because liver in Chinese medicine is the angry organ. It's the one that stores anger for you.

[C]

Interesting.

[B]

And then if you look at Chinese face mapping for liverpoint, it's right in between the eyebrows. And so if there was a dry skin in between the eyebrows, if there was a pimple between the eyebrows, if there was redness between the eyebrows, I'm like, they're pissed. But it was initiating this inflammatory cascade of things going on. So here's what I found out not to do. No heat based treatments, no steam, no hot towels, no chemical peels because chemical peels are causing heat. No stripping of the barrier, which Would be traditional for acne especially is I'm going to restart it. Right? No language that invalidates their expression. So you must be using the wrong products because that's going to hoop. That's going to flare him up right there. That'll make them mad. We don't want that. So I was very careful of doing this dance with these clients. What I found to do is in the treatment room using cooling masks, using even like herbal compresses, some that have chamomile, and then rhythmic techniques to help release the heat. It had the opposite effect where the emotions were causing the skin flare up. The skin treatment was encouraging the emotional dissolve, if you will. And then at home, again, encouraging a ritual to use botanical spot treatments instead of like a bent sari instead of a benzoyl. I know that's your favorite, benzoyl peroxide or a salicylic. And then instead incorporating adaptogens. Because if they were having these emotional like ups and downs, the adaptogens were helping navigate. Surf the emotions, if you will. Also for those, I encourage journaling. And one of my favorite instructions for my clients is to journal with a pen that doesn't work. So at least they're getting the emotion out. They don't have to worry about does it make sense? Is it proper sentence structure? Is anybody else going to read it? Just write it down. You know, just write it down and then let it go. And that really helped. And then also movement to support releasing of these emotions.

[C]

So as I am listening to you tell me all of this, you know what comes to mind are those cartoons from the 80s or whatever where you have that pissed off character and he turns bright red and then the steam comes out his ears because he's red hot with anger.

[B]

Yes, exactly.

[C]

You gotta cool him down. But I'm curious, with the liver overload, if all of the pissed off clients are imbibing just a little too much.

[B]

It could be that influence on the liver, if you will, would have. I sometimes have a lower tolerance the next day. I don't know about you, but sometimes when I'm hungover, I'm like, I can't right now with you. I can't right now with this or whatever it is. My ability to regulate is not there. So it can have an influence for sure.

[C]

Very interesting.

[B]

So there are supplements out of my scope of practice. I have opinions that I do share with my clients and I'm very much. This is just my opinion, but there are some things to do to help. So one thing to consider. I mean, we just kind of touched on these two. There's others, there's anxiety, there's. Even joy has an influence on the skin particularly, and you have to be aware of them. You know when you have someone around you who's like, so happy and you're like, whoa. They're like, oh, my God, it's so good and everything's great, they're at a 10, they're at a 12 on a scale from 1 to 10. And you're like, whoa. That like, hyperactivity also happens in the skin where there's a hyper proliferation of sebum or oil, and that can result in pimples too. So with Joy, you have to be aware of what they're going through because you want to maybe slow things down.

[C]

It's not a happy glow, it's glowing.

[B]

But because it's glistening with the oil. Not always. I'm not saying always. I'm just saying being aware that there can be an emotional reason. Mm. So this protocols that you were taught in school, the protocols that your brand gives you, you need to have clinical reasoning and a little bit of clinical discernment to adjust for your client to be able to address them holistically. You can't just ask them, are you pissed today? Are you happy today? Why are you so sad, girl? You really have to be aware, recognize emotional patterns. Obviously we can't diagnose, but then use language cues, like, for example, what is your skin processing right now? Or what do you think is going on? Or how is your day? Even what you got going on next week just kind of opens the door for them to explain a little bit more. Most importantly, when you have these types of clients, I mentioned the one with rosacea, and I was like, ugh, saging after. You also have to protect your own energy. You can't take on their grief. You can have empathy, but you can't take it on. Unfortunately, I've had a lot of clients who've lost children, and that is a heavy, heavy thing. So, so heavy. I'm getting chills just saying that out loud right now. They come in because really they want the human touch, if I'm being honest, or some sense of normalcy. But their skin takes an effect for sure. I can empathize and I feel so sad for them, but I still have the next client to think of. That sounds callous, but that's the truth. So your job is to encourage long term support for these, encourage these rituals to do at home, and then hopefully they can rebuild this emotional safety in the skin.

[C]

Yeah, I think whether you are practicing holistic aesthetics and diving into the emotional stability of your clients or not being able to keep that boundary and not take on the energy of your clients is very important. As an esthetician, absolutely.

[B]

So what I want you to do is to reframe your retail thoughts and aftercare. Think of it as nourishment. Encourage your clients to think of it as nourishment, not just compliance. Now listeners, we really want to hear from you. What is one takeaway from today's episode? Reach out via Instagram, Facebook or send us an [e-mail] we want to know all the details. In the meantime, thank you for listening to ASTPSDtalk. For more information on this episode, or for ways to connect with Maggie or myself, or to learn more about ascp, check out the show notes and stay tuned for the next episode of ASCP STTalk.

[A]

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