
How should Christians respond when an authority asks them to sin? Pastor John encourages believers to respect earthly institutions without compromising God’s word.
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Have you ever wondered when obedience becomes compromise? There's a line here, a line in the sand, and we all meet that line at some point in life. And the Bible's teaching on authority and freedom explains to us where that line is at. How do you honor people without betraying God? Today on Ask Pastor John When Obedience Becomes Evil? The question is from a young man looking at Second Corinthians, which is in our recent readings in the Navigator's Bible Reading Plan. Join along if you haven't. We're reading May 11th readings today. That's month five, day 11 on the chart. And that has us in second Corinthians 10. Today our question is about chapter six, which we read last week. Our young man writes to us Pastor John I live in India with my parents, who strongly insist I marry a non Christian woman for cultural reasons. But I am a committed Christian. 2nd Corinthians 6:14 says, do not be unequally yoked with unbelievers. How can I honor my parents without compromising my faith? If I refuse, they threaten to disown me. Is there ever a point when obedience to parents becomes partnership in their idolatry? What should I do if God's will conflicts with my culture's traditions? I presume there are examples of this happening in the Bible. How do I know when obedience would be a sin?
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Yes, there are examples in the Bible where honoring proper authority and honoring God come into conflict. But before I mention any of those, it's really important that we remind ourselves of the biblical framework of who we are as Christians in this fallen world and how we relate to the world's social structures like family or parenting or state. So first, we are fundamentally new creatures, a new creation. Galatians 6:15. We have been delivered from the domain of darkness and transferred into the kingdom of God's dear Son. Which means that in this world, whether in India or the United States, we are sojourners and exiles. This world and its structures are not our primary home and they are not our primary allegiance. Then the question is, well, how do we relate to structures of this fallen, sinful world, like family or the civil state or business structures, church structures and the basic answer of the New Testament is that we are called to live in the world, but not of the world. John 17 this includes the posture of submission to all rightful authority, families, church, business, state 1 Peter 2:3 Colossians 3, Ephesians 5:6 we are to honor our parents Ephesians 6:2 Honor our pastors 5:12 Honor real widows first Timothy 5, 3. Honor the king first. Peter 2:17. In fact, according to that same verse, 1 Peter 2:17, we are to honor all men, all people, which clearly implies there are different kinds of honor that we are to pay to different kinds of people or different roles of people, different spheres of life. You don't honor a rapist and a righteous king in the same way. You honor the king with respectful deference. You honor the rapist with a fair trial instead of shooting him like a dog. He's not a dog. And then the question arises, are there limits to this honor and this deference to others, especially to authority like parents and the state? And the answer is already built right in, I think, to our identity as exiles. Peter states the basic reality like this, right after saying that we are to submit to every human institution. That's chapter two, verse 12 of his first letter. He says, verse 16. Live as people who are free. Oh, that's powerful. Free. Which means that we are not submitting to earthly structures like parents and state because they have intrinsic authority over us. They don't. Intrinsic authority? No, because God has authority. And it's because of God's intrinsic authority. He doesn't borrow it from anybody. It's in him because of God's authority. He has sent us back into those structures as exiles and sojourners, governed by his will and for the sake of his glory, do good. He wants to get glory by our doing good in these structures according to verse 15. So the answer is yes, there are limits to the authority of this world, and the limit is the revealed will of God, the word of God. In other words, we do not follow the authority structures of this world into sin. That's the basic framework of the Christian life as I see it in the New Testament. And now we're ready for some biblical examples of the conflict that arises between human authority and divine authority. In Acts 4:17, the governing Jewish council in Jerusalem tells the apostles, you shall no longer speak or teach in the name of Jesus. And to this, Peter and John answer, well, whether it is right in the sight of God to listen to you rather than to God, you decide. We cannot but speak of what we have seen and heard. Acts 4:19. In other words, when human authority contradicts God's word, the Christians follow the higher authority, namely, God's word. The same thing is true of how we are to honor our parents. There are indeed special kinds of respect, esteem, deference that we should always give our parents, even to parents that are unkind, unfaithful, neglectful, abusive, and the reason I say there are special kinds plural is that this respect will look different, won't be the same for a godly, humble, helpful parent and an ungodly, proud, hurtful parent. There will be a kind of respect, but it won't be the same. The respect and honor that we give even to the best of parents, however, will not include submitting to their will if their will brings us into disobedience to God. Gideon tore down the altar of Baal that his father had just built. Judges 6:25 Jonathan went against his father Saul's will again and again to defend and protect David against his father's unjust murderous intentions. 1st Samuel 20:35 Hezekiah was a good and righteous king, unlike his father Ahaz, who was just about as bad as they come. And Hezekiah removed the high places, broke down the pillars, cut down the Asherah, which his Father loved. 2nd Kings 18:4 and Jesus said, whoever loves mother or father more than me is not worthy of me. Matthew 10:37 and in Luke it's even stronger. If anyone comes to me and does not hate his own father and mother and wife and children and brothers and sisters, yes, even his own life, he cannot be my disciple. Which does not mean we should have malicious hatred for our parents. It means that often we must make choices that the world and even our parents will not understand because we're motivated by Christ and they don't get Christ. They won't understand, and they may even call it hate because our actions are so contrary to the ordinary human relations they're expecting. They just don't understand kingdom realities, kingdom priorities. Which brings us now to the very issue of a Christian marrying an unbeliever because it's what the parents want. Paul said in 1 Corinthians 7:39 that a Christian widow is free to be married to whom she wishes only in the Lord. That means only to a Christian, to one who is in the Lord. And he says in 2 Corinthians 6:14 do not be unequally yoked with unbelievers. For what partnership has righteousness with lawlessness, or what fellowship has light with darkness? So I think the answer is that you count the cost and you follow God's will not to marry an unbeliever. But let me close with this. In my pastoral experience, when we have faced conflicts like this, and it's pretty common, I have urged young people to pray earnestly that the God who splits the Red Sea, makes the sun stop in the sky, raises the dead, brings out of nothing, things that are creates new possibilities where none seem to exist. That this God we pray to this God that He would actually create a possible way forward that no one presently can see. That would enable the relationship to be preserved and God to be obeyed.
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Amen. Yeah, it can be hard to walk this line, to honor everyone, parents, kings, bosses. But that honor has a ceiling because we are free. We are free to not submit to human authority just because they demand it. We submit because God is our final authority. And the moment those human authorities ask us to disobey God, our allegiance locks unto God himself. Instead, we must choose to honor the greatest king. In other words, yes, God is dishonored when the believer Mary's an unbeliever. And if that concept is new to you, see the Ask Pastor John book on pages 147 to 149 for more on why believers marry believers. Very important. Thank you Pastor John, and thanks for listening today. If you have a question to ask Pastor John, find a link to email us and find our complete episode archive all at the same place. AskPastorJohn.com well, is our mind material or is our mind immaterial? When we pass away, does the light of our consciousness get extinguished or do we continue to exist in a conscious state? A very interesting conversation. Up next time, why our Minds cannot die. I'm Tony Reinke. See you on Thursday.
Ask Pastor John – Desiring God
Date: May 11, 2026
In this episode, John Piper addresses a piercing and practical question from a young Christian man in India: When does obedience—particularly to parents—cross the line into compromise of faith? The episode is grounded in the Bible’s teaching about authority, freedom, and ultimate allegiance to Christ, specifically in cultural contexts where Christian convictions collide sharply with family and tradition.
Piper applies biblical principles and examples to the question of whether a Christian should honor parental wishes that explicitly contradict God’s will, focusing especially on the question of marrying an unbeliever.
Piper’s core message is that Christian obedience to earthly authority—parents, culture, government—always has a limit, and that limit is God’s word. When honoring authority requires disobeying the revealed will of God, Christians must choose God, even at great personal cost. The episode stresses practical wisdom, biblical precedent, and reliance on the power of God to uphold both faithfulness and grace in difficult situations.