← Aware and Aggravated
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- [00:03]
Leo
I was considering if I should garden or not before this a little bit, you know, take the edge up, relax. But I need to be level headed this week we're doing a. What would Leo do? Hi friends, first person said, sometimes I think I'm just the best person ever. But why I be crying at night? Me, three months ago could have wrote that. Is that me? Hey, hey you. Is that me? Let me do what my Pisces brain does. I gotta stare at it for a second so I can read deeper into it. Sometimes I think I'm just the best person ever. But why I be crying at night? I assume you're crying at night because of yourself. But when I've felt like this, where I'm like, I don't see what's the issue, why I be upset. Like when you have to deal with what you have to deal with at night alone, by yourself, usually you're the best person for everybody else, but not yourself. Cuz like you can look around logically and see how you're there for other people. You see, oh, I know why this person would like me. I know why this person cares. Like all the external boxes are checked. You feel good, you feel fine with everybody else and how you're perceiving, like the outside version of you, but the inside version of you at home, you don't like that motherfucker, you'll be crying when you're alone with them. So I would just say, yeah, you got the external right. As in you have all your connections outside of yourself set, everybody's good, everybody's fine. But when it comes to yourself at night, when you're sitting there reflecting and maybe you have guilt or you're replaying scenarios in your head, you're like, why did I said that? Maybe I shouldn't have said that. If it's that kind of dialogue while you crying at night, go into it, overthink a little bit. Overthinking is good sometimes it makes yourself reflect. So fudgeing. Look at it. If you said something stupid, okay, learn from it, don't say it no more. But if you're crying at night because you don't like who you are with yourself, okay, what's the problem? You know exactly what to do, why you don't like yourself, what's going to make you want to hang out with you a little more, it's really not that fucking hard. Nobody just wants to do it. Like nobody wants to look at themselves and be like, okay, everybody else likes me, but I don't. And I'm going to cry about it. I get it. Like, that's the hard part is looking at yourself, okay, why don't I like me? And then be that. But you're also going to have to trade off some of the other relationships with what you change to like about yourself. You're not going to be just molding your personality to be everything that everybody else wants you to be. For you to stop crying by yourself, you might have to make other people cry a little. And that's okay. It's the way to cookie crumble. Okay, next person said, my mom and dad are separated. I got into a fight with my dad. He's a drug dealer, so I have a lot of resentment. Why? Ain't nothing wrong with doing what you got to do sometimes. I'm just kidding. One time we got into a fight and I swung on him. Seventeen years old, my mom called the cops on me. Now I'm 25 and trying to figure out if I should ever forgive her. She's also abandoned my brothers, and now she has my sister who's five years old. And I'll be moving closer to help with my sister because my baby sister's dad just went to treatment. I don't know if I'm keeping up with the whole story, but this sounds like a Madea movie. Hit him with a frying pan. So the thing you want to know about is should you have a relationship with your mom after what happened? I would say no. She failed you as a mom. You got into an altercation with her boyfriend and she called the cops on you. In my opinion, in my book, your mom failed you. Your mom failed as a mother. In that situation. Did you go to jail or anything? Did you do time? Did they press charges? Like, I need more information. Most people write way too little or way too much where I don't want to fucking read it. But this situation, don't feel bad. If you don't want to have a relationship with your mom again, don't. She's a liability. Whenever something happens that's a liability standing there in the corner, you're gonna have to worry and watch your own ass. And that's something you should never should have to do around your family. In my opinion, your family should be there no matter what. Your whole hesitation is valid with trying to have a relationship with your mom again. A lot of people not going to tell you that. A lot of people play the whole, oh, it's your parent. It doesn't matter the title. If someone betrays you this hard, anyone can become a liability and a threat to you regardless of their title. So your mom clearly showed there's no concern for you over her partner, and there's no concern for your future because you were 17 when it happened. Your mom called the cops, knowing that would make a record for you. What an irresponsible and inconsiderate. That's someone who gave birth that, like, you don't have that maternal instinct of, like, protect your child. Come on. I don't get that. And I'm getting a little heated with this one. I knew I should have smoked. But don't feel bad for not wanting to have a relationship or feeling hesitant to have a relationship. Betrayal has been done. Like, betrayal has happened. It's a common theme here. We don't believe in forgiveness. Some things can be forgiven, but some things are unforgivable. And disloyalty is never forgiven, and it never should be. No matter the title. If you want to challenge it. A lot of people get mad because I say, I don't believe in forgiveness. Like, oh, that's. That's against religion. That's the get. Where the fuck is Lucifer? If you want to bring religion into it, disloyalty is never forgiven, and it is punished because where is Lucifer? Exactly. Don't feel bad. Don't feel guilty. Do what you got to do. If you don't want to have a relationship, don't have one. If you do want to have one, you watch your ass. And I would lay down a line of, like, never being around the boyfriend if he's still around or if there's any new partners that come around. The stove already burnt you once. Don't let it burn you twice. But I know that feeling of, like, when you miss your mom and you want to talk to her and see her. Unfortunately, your mom comes with a lot of risk, but I understand the heartstring that's being pulled. If you want to try it and you want to go have a relationship because you genuinely want to, not because everybody around you is guilty in you, go for it and do it. And if you don't, you have zero reason to feel guilty for it. All right, next. What would you do if you're having the feeling like you are behind in life compared to others of the same age? I don't relate to that, and I don't care. There's a lot of people my age who have a lot of more traditional things that they've accomplished and done, like gotten married and had kids, and I'm choosing my own little life Path, wherever it's gonna go, where it's gonna take me. Like, yeah, I'm speaking from a perspective of like, okay, I've become successful and I've got a lot of going for me. So it's a little different when I'm talking about it, but I really don't give a damn. And in the past, I've felt behind before, but I just used it to look at my life and be like, okay, it's not feeling behind that I was, like, bothered about. It's seeing other people my age doing more made me realize what the fuck I'm doing. Don't just sit there in the guilt about it. Okay? You feel behind. Okay, why? What do you want to change and then change it? What are you going to do? Just sit there and be sad and just. I just feel so behind. You're never going to be able to think your way into better actions. You got to act your way into better thoughts. So if you don't like where you're at, don't just sit there and be, oh, I'm still behind. Run faster. If you realize you run in a race and you behind and you losing, you number three. Not even number two. You slipped, you fucked up. You number three. If you don't realize you number three in the race and don't get that, like, adrenaline spike of like, I'm gonna sprint. That's what's supposed to happen. Start sprinting. Okay. Start making up for lost time. Do your. And you're not behind because you don't have what they have. So figure out exactly what you want, because it's not what everybody else has. You're just being triggered to think about it. So think about it and then run towards that behind for what? Who the says who's behind who? Like, what's the ideal life supposed to be? Because everybody I know that's my age, 26 and married with kids, they miserable. They don't like what they doing, they feel trapped. They have no freedom. There's a give and a take. Also, that's one thing to ask yourself. You feel behind. Do you even want what society is telling you you should have at this age? Do you want it? I don't. I don't want to be paying for kids. And I want to be going to Versace store, having fun. My birthday's coming up. I'm almost a year with no alcohol. Can't wait to get drunk. I'm going to Cabo. That's what I would like to be doing at my age. Not over here. With a kid for what? Because society says so. Boohoo. I don't give a damn. I'm trying to have fun. Okay, next. Here we go. I feel like I'm the only person that can meet my standards. I don't know if it's too high or what, but I feel like since I meet my own standards, they aren't too high. But then again, I haven't met anyone that I feel genuinely meets my standards. Dating wise, I only have two good friends who do meet my standards. So should I drop them a little or no? How do you not see what you're saying? I don't think there'll be anybody who will ever meet my standard, but I do have two best friends who meet them. Two best friends who meet your standards is more than most people have. You have two, not just one, but two people who meet your standards as a friend. And you over here questioning if there's a partner out there potentially. You already got two people living proof you got it in your life already. How hard is it for them to be who they are? You see, it's not hard. It's not hard for you to be who you are. So when you meet somebody, it's just going to be a matter of time. And dating is a fucking numbers game. As annoying as it is, it's a numbers game. Amount of people you're going to meet, amount of interactions you're going to have, eventually you're going to find them. But as soon as you get to that point of like, frustration with something, what I've learned is as soon as you get to that point of like, should I drop my standards? Are my standards too high? That is the moment you re commit, you do not drop your standards because you're gonna get up and you're gonna end up being lower than your own standards. Before that's what happened, you. Yeah, that's what happened. Go date somebody beneath the standards. You're going to get dog walked, dragged across the concrete on a leash emotionally, sometimes physically. And then you're going to have to recover from that to get back to your standard, to be like, okay, yeah, I'm not dropping them again, so let me just go ahead and shortcut you that no, your standards aren't too high. You need to question what is it that I actually want and how hard am I willing to recommit to finding it and, and meeting this person. You might be realizing you want a different type of person. So evaluate that someone beneath you, they're never going to make you feel good. They're never going to. Oh, my God. You're never just going to be like, oh, okay, you were a little ugly, you were a little stupid. But like, I'm happy. I dropped my standards for you. Jay Z cheated on Beyonce. So the worst feeling is when you get cheated on by someone uglier than you. So at least get cheated on by someone who is hot, you know? Oh, we got a college question. It's been a minute since I was there. Yes, I graduated straight A's. I did get one B, I think. Shut up, Leo. What would you do if you're halfway into college and lose interest in your major? It don't bring me happiness anymore. I thought for the longest time that it's what I wanted to do, but I feel lost. The hell you asking me for? You know exactly what to do. You know you don't like what you thought you'd like anymore. Okay, so change it. Literally, going to college and people expecting you to figure out what you're supposed to do with the rest of your life right after your nuts finally drop, that's unrealistic. Like, 18 is like, you're not been dropped. But being 18 years old and expecting to, like, make this decision, it's like, okay, I'm gonna love this one thing. You didn't know if you'd like it until you started walking into it. So whatever your major was, okay, this idea of what this career path could be like. I like what? It's what the trailer of the movie could be. You start watching the movie and you realize, I don't fucking like the movie. You're gonna keep watching it and waste your time and finish it, or you're gonna turn it off and find the new one. Yeah, there's a lot of consequences that come into switching it and changing it. I get it. But if you're aware by taking two steps down the path of it, instead of going 10 miles down to the end, you realize that ain't the path you want to be on. Jump. Change it. Because as soon as you know it's not what you want. Okay, cool. But it's not a thing of like, oh, it's hard. I don't want to do it anymore. If it's a discipline issue, get your shit together, okay? Go study. Get your degree. You got to go make some money. If it's a thing of, like, you genuinely have zero interest in the thing that you thought you would like, and it's like draining you, you don't want to go. You don't want to be There. You want to do it, you want to die, then change it. Because why are you going to keep committing yourself to the path you don't want to be on? For what? Okay, it only took you two steps to gain clarity. You're lucky you're not 20 years into the career like most people, being like, damn, I wish I would have switched back when I was still in college and I knew this wasn't what I wanted. Just switch it. Life becomes a lot easier once you just do shit like, just switch it and just watch what happens. Watch how easy it gets. Watch how much easier it is than you thought, and watch you actually handle it. And then you like what you're doing better. You're like, oh, wow, what the hell? You know what this path is like. You don't like it, you don't want it. So why are you going to choose to keep walking down it? Oh, because I'm scared of what my parents would think. I'm scared of what my friends would think. I'm scared of the life you're gonna have to live with something that you hate if you don't get out of it. A lot of people don't have rich parents and, like, trust funds to fall back on. You got to set yourself up and get a degree, so you always got a job. So, like, you go take a business adventure or you try something, it don't work, you fall on your ass, you can pick yourself up. You never fall back to zero when you secure yourself. So if you want to do that, do it and just get through it. Plus, once you have a degree and you're out of school and you're making money, you have money to invest into trying more things and maybe going different routes if you want to go them. So it's up to you. These are a lot of different perspectives I'm throwing at you. But if it's just something that you're, like, doing to get a degree and make some money and secure yourself, shut up and go through it and get it done. Make the best of it, it's going to suck. You only have to get through it once. Do it. But if it's something that you're trying to commit your entire life to and you're like, I just want one career and I want this to be it. If you're realizing this ain't it, switch it immediately. No questions dazed. It's just a matter of when you're going to switch it, because you have the awareness now, but you hate it. So the universe, God, whoever you believe in is going to turn that heat up to make everything go way worse and be way worse until you finally jump course. It's not going to let you keep going down this path. You're going to have to change it. So like, you're going to be forced to change it. You're going to change it by choice. You got this. You're going to be just fine. Next person said he had a manic episode last June and moved away. Says he still loves me and it's us, but I haven't seen him since. I knew he had a mental illness when I met him and something like this was a possibility. What the hell you want me to do? He had a manic episode and he moved away. He abandoned you and he said he still love you. Okay, he's a looney tune. What'd you expect? If he's gonna do that, let him go do that. But if he's not the type of clinically insane where he has like hospitalization periods, he's just someone like I talk about with these tick tock people who are like mentally ill and they need all this. A lot of people use their like, mental illnesses as an excuse for their behavior when they don't want to take responsibility. So it's like the typical thing of like when a guy cheats on you and he's like, oh, well, it's my grandmother died when I was two. Shut the up. Shut up. People use it as an excuse all the time. So one question. Ask yourself. Is that the kind of love you want is somebody who abandons you? Maybe that's the way he shows love. Okay, he loves you so bad, but he's still going to do what he wants to do regardless of how you feel. Is that the kind of love you want? Is that kind of love ever going to get you where you want to go in life? If you want kids, if you want marriage, if you want someone that's actually around, is that the person that you should be dedicating your time to? No. If you want to go for like a crazy time, have a blast with life and have some Lana Del Rey type, go for it. Have fun with your little looney Tune. But if you're asking me like, do I think he loves you in his own little way, but do you want somebody who loves like that, who could be so in love with you? It's always me and you, and then they're gonna run away for a year. That could not be me. I will hit him with the car. I would chase you down and Run you down. Okay, next. I matched with a guy on Tinder. I found out he used to talk to my old friend. They never met in person. Am I in the wrong to seek something out with him? Her and I have not been friends since August of 2024, and I had no idea they used to talk. Okay, he talked to your old friend. That's one piece. They didn't date. They didn't. Nothing was serious. Okay, so they talked. My moral code always comes in in this situation. It all depends on how you left things off with that friend. If it was the friendship where it was like a fallout and it was a you or a betrayal or y'all are not on good terms, go be with him. If you want to be with him, bets are off. No loyalty is owed. But if it's a friendship where it was one of those that, like, faded out or, like, you kind of just, like, grew your own separate ways, but, like, you still care from afar, text her or just call her. Be like, hey, no, we haven't talked. Whatever. Start a conversation and ask her if she's cool with it. I personally would do that. But if it's a bitch you don't fuck with no more and she did something wrong to you, okay, go play with him. Go fiddle his ditto if you want to. Who cares? The loyalty and the respect is owed when there's nothing damaging or any kind of betrayal has gone on. I'd say definitely reach out to the friend if you guys was cool. But, yeah, that's what I would do, actually. What am I thinking? I would not be on Tinde. That's what Leo would do. Leo would not be on fucking tangent. And this is a fucking serial dater. He messed with your friend. Talk to her. Match with you. You just another in his pond. Sorry, I don't mean to sound so harsh about that, but, like, men on dating apps are mad weird. Leo would not be on 10 day. Leo will block everybody. Next person sent in a little. Would you rather they said, would you rather spend your life in a relationship that didn't have that magic because it's secure and you're somewhat happy? Or spend a brief time with an amazing love for only a short period of time? Security is not what removes the magic. The magic happens for me when we're secure. I would rather have the long one than the short, brief one with an amazing love for only a short period of time. I don't want to lose that. But you can make the secure relationship where you're somewhat happy, be one where you very much happy. You want to feel magic. Do molly together. You want to take it there. You want to have like the sex of like the spark and crazy love. There you go. But like I would want the long one. You're not leaving me if I love you so bad. You love me so bad. Till death do us part. That's the only way. So if you want to leave, die. I don't want the oh, it was an amazing love for a short period of time. What happened? Did somebody kill them? Cuz I would have to go to prison. I would have to kill them for killing the person I love so bad. You know it's not going to be a good time. I would do the long one. Yes, long. Okay. Like security. To me that is what makes it magic. What the hell else you need? Security comes with loyalty, respect and trust and safety. Like emotional safety. You could talk, you could like you did. How you only a little bit happy and it's secure. What the is wrong with you? Me mad at you. Like, this is not just the Would you rather question. I'm gonna nitpick it apart, but I'm taking the secure relationship. I'm good because you said the crazy fast kind of love is not secure. Because you said it's secure, but you'd rather have the other one. So now I don't want that toxic shit. I would like a long, secure, nice relationship. I'll make it toxic. Don't worry about that. Okay, this next one I really want to make sure I talk about someone said, would you still buy Father's day birthday and Christmas gifts for your ex that you share a child with that's under one when they cheated on you? Or would you wait until your child was older to pick out the gifts themselves? I'm so conflicted. We don't have a good relationship, but he wants to be involved with the kid. He says he wants nothing to do with me, but wants stuff to do with her. I left because he was on Tinder and messaging other girls while in the delivery room. I don't believe he would return the thought if I got him stuff for those significant days. Don't you dare buy him a single gift. Don't you dare spend a second with your pretty little fingers writing him a single card. It's a warped like, I know you want to like talk to him and it's your way of doing it through your kid. Like, oh, the baby got you a card. The baby got you a gift. They you both know that it was. You do not. It's not your obligation. It's not your responsibility. You're not a bad mother. If you don't do that, the kid doesn't know what's going on. And for the dad, if he expects you to be doing that, that's some manipulation. Do not. This man was on Tinder while you were pushing out your child. I hope your family was there and they jumped him in the parking lot. Wow. Oh. I know you feel bad, and I know you want to do this stuff. I hope you don't want to, but I know you feel, like, obligated to do it. You're not obligated at all. If you needed, like, reassurance or, like, outside neutral perspective, you got it. I'm genuinely sorry that you're in this position, but I'm so proud of you for leaving him. But you left the obligation to do anything for him also when you left him. So don't let it eat you up. Don't let it make you feel bad. You should never feel bad. If you bought a bird and trained it to on his car every single time you saw him, you still shouldn't feel bad. That's what he gets. Next person said, can you do a video about banking? Stuff no one has taught me about it, and I'm scared to mess it up. Is that something y'all would want? Is, like, my advice about finances and, like, what I've learned about banking and credit cards and all that? Because when I was 18, I didn't know what credit was. I heard everybody talking about credit this, credit that. I was like, I don't know what the fuck that is. So When I was 18, I went into the bank and I was like, hey. And I sat down with one of the bank tellers, and I was like, what is credit? And she took me in her office and, like, pulled out this thing and explained to me what it was, and then set me up with a secured credit card. And I like, should I make an episode? Do y'all want that or no? I feel like everybody could, like, benefit from it because I take advantage of the points when you use credit cards. And I also have tactics of, like, getting shit for free. I just got a PlayStation 5 for free because I had so many fucking points. I got myself a PlayStation and it was free from the credit cards. So if you want my, like, tips and, like, what I've learned in my journey on it, I will make an episode. Just comment and tell me. All right. Next person said, my unemployed. Sorry, my unemployed dad takes $1,000 from me. In rent. He ends up getting like 4.3k from my mom, me and his government aid, but we're somehow still in debt. He's abusive as hell, but I don't want to leave my 11 year old sister here with him. If you want to know if you should move out, if you're old enough to move out, yes, and take the sister with you, or if you can't legally take the sister with you, you don't live in the US because of the way you typed. I clocked it. So you might have different rules about where you live, but if you get your own place and your sister has a place she can escape to, you're set. She might have to live with the parents legally, but if she can always just escape to your place and come to you, that's fine. But if you do want to stay to protect her and make sure that she's good. Your dad taking $1,000 from you for rent, I would look at it like it's like paying rent to stay somewhere. I wouldn't look at him like, I owe you. Like you're my dad. Okay, I pay you a thousand bucks. I'm gonna treat you like a roommate. I would walk in and walk out. You don't get to tell me what to do. You don't get to call the shots. I'm paying the money and that's money to shut the up. This is from my room that I've got here. That's how I would look at it mentally so you don't get too caught up in like being the whole like good kid dynamic and like still feeling like you fall into like child obligations to your dad who's clearly a dumb ass and doesn't care about your family. Like how you getting 4.3k every month taking it from the wife and the kid. How is a man taking money from the wife and the kids? Oh my God, I want to beat my head into the wall with today's society. That makes me disgusted. Truly. Like I'm disgusted for you and I feel so bad for you. Him being a failure as a father is not the concern here. Let's like I said, look at it like a th000 bucks is paying your rent and treat him like a roommate. You don't owe him. That's how I would look at it. And if he's got a problem with it and you looking at him like a roommate, say, okay, I'm paying you a th000 bucks to live here. If you prefer, I leave and go get my Own place. I will. It kind of like puts you in the dominant position when it comes to that, like, emotional. Of like, you may stand. No, but my first thing still stands. Of like, get your own place and have an escape for your sister where you can go. Also for your mom. If your mom needs to escape and go somewhere, that's what I would do. Because the thousand bucks you're already spending, just consider that going to a place of your own. Go get it. Okay, Next person said, how to stop feeling so guilty. When I say no to people, if there's something I don't want to do and I say no, I always feel super guilty, then I feel bad and do it anyways. How do I stop feeling so guilty? Stop doing out of obligation. And I know it's easier said than done, but just look at it from the perspective of would you want someone to do something for you or hang out with you or do something that you asked them to do that they really didn't want to do just because they felt bad? Would you want them to do that? Would you want them to have to do that? No. So the same way that you're forcing yourself to do that for other people, that they can feel it like, you know, when someone doesn't want to be somewhere or they're just like doing something out of obligation, you can feel it. It's an element of disconnection. Also, you're never going to feel close to them. You're like, oh, just obligated with the fact you're going to be so excited to go be back by yourself. Learning how to say no gives you freedom to do what you actually want to do. Because if you always just go with obligation, you're not doing anything loving for that person. I know that's harsh and it's like hard to hear, but that's a perspective that set me free is I wouldn't want other people to do shit for me out of obligation and have that like, low key little like underlying resentment towards me. So I set it up where everybody's fully fine to tell me, no, no hard feelings, no nothing. I don't give a damn. I have fun with myself regardless. So if people don't want to come do something, okay, I'm still going to go. But the other thing with the guilt, when you feel bad and then you decide to go and basically just trading off one feeling state for another. So you're trading off the guilt that you feel, you're like, okay, you're sitting here in the guilt. I said no, I Didn't want to do it, but I feel so bad in the guilt. I'm going to trade for a feeling state of being drained and going to do whatever I have to do and dragging myself through it. You're just trading off which one you want to have. So if you're used to trading the guilt, that's the one that you're weakest to. You need to sit there in the guilt and understand it. Why do you feel so guilty? Why do you feel like a bad person? What bad thing you think is going to happen? Because you said no to this thing. That's a time to reflect. You keep running from it. So sit in it for a second. Stop being weak to guilt because the way people behave and the way people act when they feel guilty is not them. And it's not logical. You get to agree in all kind of. That's not logical because you just feel guilty. Don't do it. Learn how to sit with the guilt. And if you don't do it, you'll be forced to do it because you're going to keep going and going and going and going with the obligation. You're going to get to a point where you're burned out, you're tired, you're exhausted. Maybe an ailment hits you and you have to stop doing things. Your body will stop you if you don't stop. So you only really got one option and it's not to live your life out of obligation. If it's something that you know is good for you and it's like good for both of you, then you should do it. And it's in line with your goals. But you're like, I just don't want to do it. Flip the perspective and find a better feeling way to go into it and then go do it. But don't do it when you just negative pissed off. If it's good for you, go for it. If it's not, say no and sit there in the guilt. Stop trading off that feeling state. Don't let your emotions run you. That's 20, 24. Oh, no. Oh. Next person said, I want a ring from a jeweler that makes them unique. Which I've looked at for about two years. And he knows I don't like typical wedding rings. My boyfriend wants a ring from a jeweler that he will have lifetime warranty on. He wants me to change my mind. What would Leo do? I don't want to say change your partner. I would say have a conversation first. His main concern being financial. I'm gonna get the ring with the lifetime warranty. Just because I know I'm supposed to get you a ring. He's not excited to get you a ring and to give you that moment of being engaged and being married. That's a girl's biggest moment. Maybe you need to explain that to him, how much engagements and rings mean to a woman. Little girls grow up waiting their whole life for that. So maybe explain that to him because it ain't the same for men. But if he's over here just concerned about the price of the ring and it has to have a warranty. He wants you to accept what's best for him and makes it easier for him if something breaks so he can go get it replaced. Don't have to afford to pay for nothing else with your other fancy ring. He's more concerned about bending you to do what's easier for him instead of giving you the ring that you want. What the genuinely girl, get the ring. How much is the ring? I'll buy you the ring. At this point and don't budge. This is non negotiable because it's not unrealistic. It's not you being a. It's not you being anything. Like I just explained, it's deeper than that. Stand on that 10 toes down. He might. I'mma tell you how this is going to go. This man is not prepared for you to stand up and say no. When you do, he might sit there and be all tough stuff. You stand there 10 toes the down because first night you have your little discussion about it. No, I'm not bending. He's gonna try and maybe be a little ruined. He's gonna be stern in his approach. Well then maybe it's not gonna happen then. Okay. Go to bed or leave. Okay, that's fine. Leave the house, go stay with your mom. Go stay at a hotel. Whatever you do. Prove your point. That motherfucker's gonna be calling you like a baby back, puto. Trust and believe. Men are always tough stuff when they're logic. When the conversation's happening, all logic. Later, when he thinks about it, he's gonna be crying like a little titty baby, calling you. I'll get you the ring. I'll get you four. Please don't leave me. Yeah, yeah, you welcome. You stand 10 toes down on that ring, baby. Oh, here we go. Ah, I caught feelings for a serial cheater. Help. We were really close friends. There was a video that I saw recently on Tick Tock and I think I might insert it of this woman just telling you how it is? Okay, I'm gonna put her name too. I love her, but this is what you need to hear about a cheater. Ah, damn. Someone just said my husband cheated on me three times. What do I do?
- [33:53]
Guest
What do you mean what do you do? He said three times. He meant 300 times. A cheater is a cheater for the rest of his life. They carry it in their blood. You know when you have a big stomachache and you are in pain and you are crying and you think this will never go away. Then you take a nice shit relieve on your stomach and you feel like a million dollars, honey, unfortunately this is your life today. You need to get rid of piece of shit. Your husband the shit. When you flush big shit in the toilet, they come back. This comeback gonna come back. I promise you this gonna happen. He's gonna knock at the door, please let me in. I love you. I want you. You know he's a liar, He's a cheater. Let him go to the lake and don't come back. I wish you all the best, honey. Be well.
- [34:47]
Leo
You see, you need to get rid of that stomach pain. You just need to. Okay, you need to get rid of it. H if that ain't the best advice I ever heard. All right, next question. This one is serious and it made me sad. How to console an 8 year old kid who lost two fingers in an accident. It's gonna be obvious and clear to them that they are different when they're at school and shit. They're gonna get bullied for it. That's just the way that society is, unfortunately. But you didn't say if you were the parent or you're just someone trying to help the kid. I would say treat them like they are absolutely normal. Once the healing phase is done, do not make all of the attention and the focus be on the fingers all the time. After they're healed and it's adjusted. Okay. When you walk in the door, hi, my baby. Give him a kiss, give him a hug. Don't mention the fingers. Don't look at them, treat them absolutely normal. Kids are going to look to you for the sense of normal and like stable and like what your attention is on is what they're going to have their attention on. So you want to help them learn how to live without the two fingers that they lost in a way where it feels like it's not impeding anything. The quickest way to do it is to stop bringing attention to it where it's like the constant, oh, I'm so Sorry. With the babying them, with the limiting them. Like, once they're healed and we've accepted it, okay, it sucks. It's tragic. But it happened. And you're not unable to do things anymore. Still, go do the activities they love to do, take them to do new. Don't baby them. Don't single them out and act and treat them like they lost their leg. Like, that's going to be a whole different dynamic. Like, that's an actual, like, debilitating disability where all activities are going to have to be different. But if it's a couple of fingers. My stepdad had two missing fingers, and I never noticed until he pointed it out. It's not as crazy as a thing as people expect it to be. It's like when you have an insecurity, you think it's the first thing people see about you. They see the entirety of you. They're not just gonna see that. And having two fingers missing, depending which ones they are. If it's a thumb, there's gonna be a lot of, like, my stepdad was missing a thumb, so he had, like a little flipper hand. This is what we called a slipper hand. But he had to learn how to do. And, like, he had cups with a handle. Every cup had a handle. So he could just grab it and there was no thumb needed. So my advice is just act like he's still normal. Act like the kid's still normal. Take him to do. Don't baby him. If he needs help and you see there's like an actual issue or concern, help, duh, be there. But, like, don't make him feel different or like he needs more help or like this thing is so debilitating about him. You want to treat him like it's normal so he starts to feel like it's normal and becomes okay with it. Also, you're going to prepare him with some mindsets around dealing with people talking about it. Teach him comebacks. Sit down and practice with him. What are you going to say if somebody does this? And just shoot shit back and forth? Come up with funny comebacks. Come back with mean comebacks. Teach him how to swing with the other hand and teach him how to stick two eyes with the bad hand. Teach them how to use it. Like, make him have fun with it. And like I said, preparing him for explaining it. When people or grown adults ask out of concern, oh, I got an accident. This is what happened. Yeah, I lost my fingers. Teach him how to be nonchalant by being nonchalant about it. Don't act like it's this big heartbreaking tear jerking story for years, like it's gonna be in the beginning. But getting back to normal, preparing the kid to deal with concern and questions about it, deal with people mentioning it and deal with whatever things he needs specific while he's at school and whenever he's doing certain sports or whatever he's doing, what specific little tools, what does he need to take in his school bag? What's going to help him? What does he need for his lunchbox that's going to be a little different? What can he not use or not open? I don't know what finger it was. I don't know. Like with the thumb thing you're not going to want to have too many complex things to use. Simplify the for him, plan it and get it all implemented so he's not every single day being reminded of something else he can't do. Ready for the criticism. Especially help him with the comebacks. Put him in martial arts or something, put him in karate, taekwondo, something. Give him a little confidence, build it. Okay, yeah, I'm missing two fingers, but I'll you up one handed. You just want to bring a little life back into him and not let this limit him. So it's going to be hard for you because it is very devastating and I can't imagine like the heartbreak of like having to go through that with a child. I had to deal with certain things when I was a nurse with taking care of certain children that had certain ailments and I couldn't do anything. And like the heart, the heart ache. I fully get that. But you got to pull it together, process your on your own. But like this is a very pivotal moment. You can teach him to be embarrassed and limited by it or you can teach him and love him into it being normal and something that he adapts too quickly and keeps it pushing. You never know what could happen because of it and what might be better because of it. You never know. You don't know what. This just changed in his personality too. So a lot of people have a lot of things unlock with certain events that happen where their personality kind of develops. And when you learn how to use something that other people would be crippled by and be so overwhelmed by insecurity about. When you learn how to use that, accept that and embrace that. It sends a message to everybody around you too of how to find acceptance. Because most people, if they lost two fingers, would be so devastated, insecure, would never be able to go out in public again. If you can do shows and communicates to everybody. You found acceptance for yourself for something that would cripple other people. And people are going to recognize that confidence and admire it. So people might be staring. Make sure your kid understands. They might be staring for that aspect too. They might be admiring. Not over here being like, what the two finger this? They're not making fun of you all the time. Make sure that's in his head and instilled very young. He's eight. Get him something nice for his birthday too. Big special. Okay, next person said, I need help breaking the trauma bond I have with my now ex. I know he's not good for me. He's in prison so he's costing me tons of money and, and he's gotten caught up talking to other women while in there. The man is my literal kryptonite. I can't stop loving him. I don't want to love him anymore. But he's not going to be who I need him to be. We met during a very traumatic time in both of our lives and we always find our way back to each other. Please yell at me and straighten me the out because this feels pathetic. I love you so bad. I love you so bad. Drop the jailbird girl if you going to be loyal to somebody. And wait, there's loyalty reciprocated. Talking to other women while you're putting money on the books. He's over there fattening himself up, eating nice, getting a lot of at the commissary, living large in prison, trading it. He's the top dog. You filling up his books with money. But that comes with added loyalty. Why are you talking to other women when you got one that's got you doing so good? I don't get that. I don't understand that. And he's someone who does not deserve someone like you. And it truly breaks my heart when people with good hearts are taken advantage of like this. If you saw me in a position like that, oh, there's this guy in prison and I'm just. I just love him so bad. And oh, I send him all this money, put it on his books, but he's talking to other guys like, oh, but he's just my kryptonite. Like, oh my God, you would smack the out of me and I would let you. And I would say thank you for waking me up. You would have to hit me so hard and knock the stupid out of me. But I would eventually say thank you so bad. Oh, I love you. You saved me. Don't let yourself be Mistreated. If you don't feel like you deserve better, I hope hearing this makes you believe it. But just because you love someone, what does loving him do to you? That's one thing to look at. It's running you stupid and draining your money. For what? What are you getting? You're getting zero from him. You're getting to feel of use. There's a lot of emotional needs being met, but you're being mistreated. You're being, like, used. Unfortunately, you're never, ever going to be able to feel good about yourself while you're still in this dynamic. So you can't change people. All you can change is your relationship with them. So it's going to be one of the hardest things you do. I have a ton of episodes about breakups, so search those up. But if you need the courage to do it, it's never going to feel like the right time. It's going to hurt. And you're going to feel like you physically stuck a knife in your stomach and gutted yourself up to your neck when you end it. And you're like, I love this person so much. But I'm gonna walk away. You're gonna walk away sobbing. You're gonna sob every day for months, probably. It's gonna be a pain like nothing you've ever felt. You're gonna want to reach out. You're gonna want to talk to them. You're gonna. Oh, my God. Oh, my God, Leo, you. I can't believe you said this. I'm in so much pain. I just have to go back. Don't let yourself. That's all gonna pass. And I can speak about this because I know it. I know that feeling, that desperation of, I just want to go back. I just want to go back. No, not an option. Because what happens is the longer the duration of the separation, the more the pain fades. It's gonna feel like nothing. The people that I was so desperate for in the past mean to me now. I don't even think of. And I never thought I would be at this place after certain breakups, like, genuine, like, I don't care. You will get to that spot. You just have to keep staying away from them. And a lot of things are going to become so clear. And the more time you stay away from them, the more perspective you will gain about why you thought you love them so much. And you're going to start realizing how much of it wasn't actually love. You're going to learn a lot about yourself of, like, oh, I was attached to him for all these selfish reasons, all these emotional needs that was getting met. Whoa. So it was never really about him. Yeah. But that perspective and that awareness is only going to hit you as you walk off. So put your nice boots on and get to scooting. I think that's it for this week's episode. I feel like we hit a whole bunch. If you've made it this far and you're watching this on YouTube comment a blue heart emoji. I like to see who makes it this far in the episode. Put you a little blue heart. Also, I'm still on Substack. I've been live on there a whole bunch. If you want to join the Substack family, I'll put the link in the description. I'm very secretive about it because I love how like family vibe it feels. But I will put the link to the new form that I made for what would Leo do in the description of this episode? So you can see it. If you're listening to the audio version of this, hit the download button and leave me a five stars rating. And if you want to submit for the next what would Leo do? Like I said, links in the description. Also on my social media as usual, my app, everything you need from me. Everything. The description. Go, look, see, go, have fun. But that's it for this week. I love you all so bad. Everybody be safe, take care of yourself and I'll talk to you guys next Sunday.