← Aware and Aggravated
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A
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Yeah, the title says what it says and what being insecure is for lose years. And you're not a loser. You a winner, baby. So act like one. I used to be the most cripplingly insecure person in the world. And the reason I say insecurity makes you a loser is because acting out of insecurity and falling into it, leading into it, believing it will make you lose everything. Let me hit you with the hey friends. Hey friends. I'm not calling you a loser, but what I hope to share in this episode I hope makes you stop losing things and losing yourself and helps you get what you want in this life. Because people always ask me about, oh, how are you so confident? Well, let's get into it. I don't really know where I'm going to go with this because I don't plan the podcast out no more. But perfect example, I have a little pimple on my face. Yeah, I put concealer over it to cover it so you can't see it so much. But that's something a lot of people get insecure about is acne or you got like something wrong with the way that you look. My response to that is always, and what? I got a pimple on my face. And what? That don't take away nothing. It doesn't change that I'm a human being. Please tell me you get that reference from Nicki Minaj, please. Or I'm look crazy. Well, look crazy. But yeah, the whole pimple thing, that used to stress me out when I would get like a pimple on my arm or something, like an ingrown hair or like a pimple on my face. It don't take away nothing from your value as a human being. It don't. And for people to make fun of you. So what? I got bullied growing up all the time for all kind of shit I couldn't control. If you can't control it, who cares? But the biggest thing is, like, okay, you got a pimple. So what? Oh, you a human being. You got a little infected oil gland, whoopee. You got a clogged pore. Who gives a shit? Since when is being human not like, a thing? A, oh, I can't have a pimple. God, for your. B. And I take all the precautionary steps. I be doing skincare boots. I got all the nice. I do morning and night. Make sure I'm always on top of it. But you're still going to get a pimple here and there. You're human. I don't think there should be any room for insecurity around being a human being at all. Now, I'm not saying you should just be, like, doing your bodily functions wherever you want, however you feel. But, like, throwing up is not a weird thing. You got to throw up. Okay? You guys sick. Your body doesn't want something in it. Okay, you got to throw up, whatever. But people who be, like, farting in public and be, like, burping and being disrespectful, I don't like that. That's different. But there's, like, no shame around being a human being. Especially with stretch marks. A lot of people are so insecure about having stretch marks. I have them, too. I got them from lifting. Okay, cool. But, like, I have some on my stomach, too, because when I was younger, I grew fast. I'm 67, so I have stretch marks. Like, my stomach. They're not that noticeable, but who gives a. Like, truly, most of the people you see online, girl, they be filtering it. The people that I've seen with the best skin in the world. Body, skin, face, skin, everything. When I lived in la, when I would see them at events, see them at parties, and I'm like, what is all that? What? You look like me. You got little spots. They got, like, the texture on their arms. Like, I have it. Sometimes I have to use the scrubs, like, get the texture up. They be having acne on their face on their body. They just edit it out online. Being a human being ain't weird. You shouldn't be insecure about it ever. Okay, you got a pimple. I'm laughing now because I truly see it as no big deal. And I hope it, like, radiates and you pick that up. Because I used to get so strung out about It. I used to get so stressed out about anything, especially with, like, who I am and how I am, my personality. Oh, I'm a little too loud. Oh, I'm a little annoying. Oh, that sounds too gay. Oh, that sounds like I'm trying too hard to be tough. Just let it come out. It's going to be what it's going to be. You're going to spend your time over here buffering yourself and playing yourself down to what? Get people to, like, a version of you that ain't real. Fuck that. I tried it. Tried it so many times. But one thing itching at me right now that wants to come out. I made the podcast episode 67, number 67 back public again because I said, what the fuck? I said. That episode is what caused, like, such a downturn for me last year. I talked about what it was like going through a really bad, abusive life, destruction from an ex of mine. And I talked about the hopelessness and kind of like my life story and, like, what pushed me to a point of absolute hopelessness and wanting to get revenge. And the thought of revenge was the only thing that made me feel better about the situation. Like my life was being fully destroyed just by one person. I wanted to kill him. And I talked freely about it on my podcast episode because that's something people don't talk about is getting pushed to a point of absolute hopelessness where your abuser, you entertain the thoughts of unaliving them and you get pushed to that point. And it pushed my brain to a point of, like, madness. And I talked about how I didn't do it, but that was like a whole upheaval. And, like, people were like, you're so graphic. Because I talked about I wanted everything you loved. I wanted to take it. That's fully how I felt at the time. I was talking about his collateral, his family. I wanted him. He had a dog he loved. I love animals so much. I posted a TikTok the other day, feeding my bunny outside. I have a little bunny. A little cat came walking in. I grew up with dogs. I grew up with animals, cats, anything you could think of. My favorite thing when I was younger was my little hamstay. But anybody can be pushed to that point. And at the time, I was 24. I recorded that when I was 24, like, a few days before my 25th birthday. I was young. I was still freshly off. What happened wasn't even like a year after this happened. And I was talking about it. Do I look back at that video and I'm like, Yeah, I don't like how I said certain things. It's just like. But whatever. That's how I felt. That's what I knew at the time. I don't get no grace to grow as a human being. Okay? I. I don't give a. To earn your grace. I'll give it to myself. I'm not over here ashamed of what I said. And that's a big thing around. Insecurity is like trying to hide things that have happened to you and hide parts of yourself. I'm not doing it no more. I tried it. It's useless. These people, you cannot please them. So the whole thing with, like, it unlocked this big thing of, like I said what I said. I went through what I went through. A lot of people don't like how graphic I got and how extreme I got. Albanians, very different. We very, very, very different. Violence ain't nothing new. The way we talk, the way we are, we are very violent and we're capable of everything we say. But a lot of the times we just talk in extremes because we gotta vent that anger out so we don't do it. People didn't give a. To try and understand anything I said. They just wanted to attack it. So I don't give a damn. Being understood is not my issue. I don't care to be understood. I'm gonna wake you up to the reality of what the happens in life. If people are too weak to hear about what I went through and they get all scared and they're like, oh, oh, my God, it's so bad. And they want to have all these judgments about it. They get mad at me for talking about what I went through. I didn't want to go through it. I don't care that you didn't like hearing what happened to me. I didn't want it to fucking happen to me. But when you push a human being with as big of a heart as I've got, anybody can be pushed over the ledge to snap anybody. And I think it takes more strength to recalibrate and come back from that by not doing it. If you look at Louis Mangioni took out the healthcare CEO, that's what happens. You push people to a point of hopelessness. Everybody's capable of bad human biology. We survive. You could take the weakest little and you scare them and you get them in a bad enough spot, they will act in a way you've never seen before. Starve somebody, watch what they do. But what am I going to be insecure about? Some people online who Ain't been through fucking shit. Want to speak about me and crying, you know, I'm like, all I have to say, and I don't even care how this makes me look. I wish it on you 1000%. What? You judge me for what I went through and how I had to claw my way out of what I went through. I fucking wish it on you and everybody you care about because maybe then you'll wake the fuck up. And I don't wish bad things on people just to make bad things happen to them. I wish bad on people to wake them up. You want to judge me for what I went through? You go call yourself out and you go be under the pressure and the abuse I was under. And I want to see what you turn into. I doubt you survive it, but that's my only rebuttal. I wish it on you because you're speaking about something you don't know. So that's what I got to say. Anybody who's made a video about me, I don't like you. Never going to like you. We're never going to be cool. And I'm not going to name none of them because none of them worth anyway. They're losers. Losers. And most of them just so desperate for clout they got to talk about somebody else. They're not interesting enough as a person. Right? I don't wish nothing good for him. And this moment right here is me owning myself fully at any cost. I don't care. I'm gonna own myself. I'm not gonna sit here and be insecure because some losers wanted to talk about me. So what, you take away this social media, you put us back to, like biological in the real world? They're dead in two seconds. They're. I'm gonna be the one that they're running to to try and get help from. So a lot of people have a false sense of security and protection. We're all human beings. And these dumb want to go ahead and talk about me and then say, oh, I'm scared. Should I get a restraining order? For what? You. You watching my fucking video. If you don't like it, don't watch it. You watching my video, calling the cops on me, getting me swatted. And then you're going to say, now I'm scared. I'm going to get a restraining order? Why the fuck did you just go poke a bear if you so scared of somebody? Are you fucking stupid? If you so scared of somebody, stay away from them. Don't acknowledge them, don't poke them, don't provoke them. This is what needs to happen in society is a nice fresh clean slate of natural selection. I wish we could just have actions have consequences again and human basic knowledge, common sense be a thing again. These people dumb budal so why the am I ever going to care what they say? I'm not and I don't care to fight who's right, who's wrong, who's this, who's that? I wish it on you. Then we can speak. You ain't been through it. You don't get to step Let me get a little water and calm down. We talking about being insecure and that's the one thing I'm not no more. And this is kind of like my final loop through of owning myself fully. Yeah now what? Honestly, it's crazy like how people can make you feel so ashamed for what you've been through and like what's happened and who you are. Life happens to all of us. Life shapes all of us in different ways but it's just crazy. People can literally make you feel ashamed for who you are and I hope that never happens to none of you. I hope by me owning myself so fully and being ready to take on any attack from any body makes you feel the same about yourself. There's no part of you that you should be ashamed of. Nothing you've been through you should be ashamed of. And even like I said with the video I'm like I don't like how I talked in it but it's the truth. That's what I said and it's gonna sit there. So my whole journey has been online. I'm not gonna pull out certain parts to be accepted by certain people. You don't need nobody's approval to be who you are and achieve in this life. Seeking approval wrecked me when I don't give a is when I make the most money and have the most success. So if you want a literal true like full fledged example life story of mine I tried to care what everybody thought. Got nothing, stopped giving a got a ton. Went back to giving a about what everybody thought and like people pleasing oh my God I have to be brand safe. I have to these brands they ain't loyal for and these loser ass people. Now I'm back on this side. I'm going to own myself and I have a nice balance where I'm not reactive. I'm not trying to prove I'm not trying to like do anything else besides just let the truth out and honor myself and be authentic. That's the thing and now I have a good nice balance with it. But you can literally watch my podcast. Over the years, you've watched me grow, you've watched me change. People act like when you get on the Internet, you're just supposed to be the most perfect version of yourself. None of you are fucking perfect. None of you. So who the fuck are you to speak genuinely? That's a big reason a lot of people are so insecure is because you're trying to be understood. You don't need to be understood. And nobody unfortunately can ever understand you because they don't know everything about you. Only person can understand you is you. But I understand that feeling in like wanting to be understood because you just want to feel safe and you want to feel appreciated and you want to feel like okay for a second, you want to feel crazy. You're not going to get it. When you're trying to be understood. When you're just being who you are is when people are going to get it. When you're constantly over explaining yourself, trying to go back on things you said, clarify, explain. That's not who you are. Explaining what you're doing and why you're doing it is not being yourself. It'll be understood by some, it'll be misunderstood by others. That's not your issue, that's not your concern. But the biggest thing I want to say again, who you are when you're trying to explain yourself is not you. That's a desperate side of you who's like trying to stay safe. It's like I need to over explain for what? Babe, sit down, relax. You don't gotta explain nothing. And a really, really big thing. I hit on it in my last episode. A lot of people think that they need approval to get what they want in this life. You need understanding. You need acceptance to get what you want. You don't. So that's like another shadow aspect of trying so desperately hard to be understood. I get it. I fully get it. I tried it, I exhausted it. It's useless. It's a dead end road. The people who are going to understand you, you're never going to have to explain nothing. They're just going to get it. If you feel like you have a sense of connection but you're constantly explaining yourself, that's not connection. They don't see you for who you are. There's people who just operate with a certain code of ethics and the way that you go about life, they're just going to get it. And that's something that was really, really hard for me, when I was in la, was feeling so misunderstood because for someone that has the values that I do to turn down money and to turn down brand deals and opportunities and certain things because they don't align. I was constantly having to over explain myself of why this is selling myself out, why I'm not going to do it, why this is not having integrity. And everybody just looked at me so dumbfounded. But it's a lot of money. And I'm trying to explain, but I don't give a. I'll make money another way. I don't need to cut off part of myself and sacrifice my integrity to make it who I'm around now. And my family and my friends now, they just get it. And a lot of you guys just understand. You just get it when I turn something down. No is no. I don't gotta explain it. You already see it. This is literally exhausting. And I want to give you the permission to stop doing it. Stop giving a. Like, trying to explain to people that you're not a bad person will have you so disconnected from yourself, not living your life, not really doing anything. You'll just be like this desperate little rat, like, trying to prove yourself, I'm not a bad person. But if people need to see you as a bad person, justify what they did to you to feel better about it, so be it. Some people see me as the biggest fucking monster in the world because I talked how I did in my podcast episode, how I wanted to get revenge. Oh, I'm the biggest monster. Oh, I'm evil. I deserve to be in prison for just speaking right how stupid that is. And then there's people who know my heart and see me and have experienced me like, this is the best person I ever met my whole life. He's so sweet. People are going to have both opinions. Cool. I don't care if people think I'm a good person or to think I'm a bad person. I know the kind of person that I am. So neither side really like bends me anymore. And I used to be so dependent on like validation of like, oh my God, like it's feeling so unseen and misunderstood. When someone would see me, it was such like a anxious like, oh my God. I have to like, make sure that you keep seeing me. You don't have to try. The more I got anxious like that and was trying to prove myself and hold on to these people and make sure they saw who I truly am. It's useless. You don't got to grip on to it. Sit back and Relax. It's scary as hell to do it. A lot of people are going to say, oh, you just have to leave your comfort zone. This is a version of that. I want to do an episode about leaving your comfort zone. Like, how to do it for real, but sitting back and relaxing into. Okay. People are going to have any opinion of me. Cool. That is leaving your comfort zone, just sitting back and relaxing. Because you're gonna be scared shitless. You're gonna have all the anxious thoughts. You're gonna have all that like, oh, my God, Yeah. No, you just gotta sit there, feel it, and sit your ass still. Keep being who you are. People who are gonna see it, are gonna see it. People who want to demonize you will literally find anything to do it. So I want to further, like hammer this final point in Nail in the Coffin with it. You can't control how people see you. And if they want to see you bad, they will see you bad. You can't change that. But that doesn't take anything from you. It feels so scary when people don't like you. People think you're a bad person. People have all these opinions of you. It's only scary because you think you're going to lose something. You're not. Only time you lose something is when people have a negative opinion of you and you change yourself. Or you put all of your focus and attention onto them and you climb in their perspective and you try and play the pingpong game of back and forth of how can I make sure that they see me as good? Why the are you so desperate to stay in good standing with them? You are capable of so much more than you think. In this life, you don't need nobody. You might feel like you do emotionally, it might hurt, but at the end of the day, at the core of it, God didn't send you in this life as a weak little. Every single one of us has a soul. If you don't believe in it, wake up. We all got soul. We all got life force, energy. We all got intuition. You weren't sent into this little like, arena of life in the physical world to be powerless and be a little baby back. You weren't sent here with nothing. As soon as you could tap into that gag. But the biggest thing with insecurity, the biggest one, oh, my God, it sucks. Oh my God. Because you have to feel it. Everybody does not want to feel. I get it. I've been there. I spent the last year of my life and so fucking numbed out where I couldn't Feel nothing. But it still was creepy, man. Like the feelings don't go away. It's like when people say that they black out drunk. I don't believe it because it don't matter how drunk I am. I've been drunk, like, gone. Laid out on the pavement, staring up at the sky, can't get up. Like my body can't function. But my brain and my intuition were still there. I was still aware of what was going on even though I couldn't like, move my body. Was too drunk. I don't believe the whole. You black out and don't remember nothing. I've blacked out plenty of times where it's like you drink past that limit. But I still remember certain pieces. I don't black out completely, but I know that there's certain, like, drugs, things like, that people can like, spike you drink with and it'll make you fully forget things. But the whole blackout thing, the feeling is always there. Like my awareness is just always there. And I feel like it's just a cop out. Once you understand emotions, like you're in tune with your emotions, it don't go away. No matter how much you drink, no matter how much you snort, no matter how much you smoke is always there, even just a little. But that's low key. Such a comfort for me. Yeah, we don't want to feel the feelings of trying to escape. But no matter how much I tried to shut them out, they wouldn't leave me. I didn't get abandoned by them. I have my little compass still of what feels right and what feels wrong. And the whole thing that I've learned with insecurity recently, the past few episodes, I've been doing a whole, like, life shift and I'm taking you along the journey, but with insecurity and doubt. Yes, they come up. Everybody feels insecurity. Everybody feels doubt. Every single person. But the way to combat that and shortcut it and like, have proof for yourself and something to rely on and be able to like, fact check to reassure yourself. Because empty reassurance don't work over here. We could logic our way into anything and we could still be anxious. You literally, like, that's the way our brains work. If you relate to anything, I could say, yeah, we can logic anything, but we still don't like it. We can fully have all of the logical proof in front of us. But if we're doubting something, if we're worried, there's no touching it. The only thing I've found that can touch it and get rid of the doubt and the worry and insecurity is taking actions where you're in line with the way that you feel and you know it feels right. I was the most insecure when I was numbing myself. I had to numb myself to survive for a while. That's one thing I will say is people demonize all this. That and like coping your way through life. Sometimes you gotta. And some people are going to say, oh, Leo, that's bad to say. I don't give a. Oh my God, I don't give a. Sometimes life happens and is you up worse and way past your capacity to deal with it. And when things surpass that, some people will reach for external things and some people will un alive themselves. So I have a relationship to external help and substances in the past of I'm grateful for them because I'm only alive because they were able to take that little bit of edge off where I could still stay here, you know. But I'm not on anything anymore. And I'm so proud to say that. What the. I be smoking cigarettes? Yes, absolutely. I'm going to kick them eventually again, but not for now. I'm enjoying it. I'm having fun. I'm back drinking alcohol. I did my little year sober, but I'm not doing any drugs. And I can't like explain how happy I am. Like, was it hell to get myself through withdrawals and get through everything? I did it alone. Yeah. And I'll do an episode talking about it eventually. But I'm two months nothing. Just some cigarettes and some coffee and the alcohol. Not every day alcoholic. On the weekends, like party fun like I used to. But the whole thing I'm saying with this is like when you're numbing yourself out. That's when I felt the most anxious, the most insecure because I wasn't present and like feeling the decisions I was making, I was just making them. And out of logic or like what seemed right or obligation or like what someone told me to do and I wasn't like present with myself and understood how I felt about things before I acted. And that's when I had the most doubt and insecurity and worry. But now that I'm taking actions where I know what I feel, I know what I think and I know what I feel in the moment when I do it, if I feel good about it, if it feels right and I do it and then I start to have doubt because it doesn't go how I thought or whatever. I don't play into it. I don't Question it. I don't think about it because I knew how I felt when I did was aligned, it felt aligned, and I'm going to trust that. And every single time for the past three weeks that I've followed how I felt and I made a decision that felt aligned, felt good. I'm like, I feel good about this. This is what I want. This is in line with my integrity, my morals. Or I just get an intuitive hit of like, this is a no. I can't explain it. I don't know why this is a no, but this is just a no. Every single time I've followed that, if something seemingly air quote bad happened right after or it didn't go how I thought it would, it came later, flipped better. It's like the little hiccup happened, but it was like a redirection to something else. Making decisions that feel aligned have never led me to a bad spot. Let me think about that really, ever in life. Because when things led me to bad things, it's always come around, but especially the past three weeks, because I'm as most tuned in as I've ever been and I'm not numbed out. Nothing's gone bad, wrong, or, like, up in a way where it didn't fix itself or a new opportunity didn't come from it. It's weird, very weird, very cool. But I don't feel insecure anymore because I know why I'm doing what I'm doing. I know why I'm trusting myself. Like, I feel it and it's like my confirmation, my reassurance, is the emotional state and the feeling of alignment. Before I do one more thing that just popped up in my head. This bald noggin pulletrix. Oh. When you switch into, like, a new way of doing things and you're trying to be like a new version of yourself, you have to start rejecting treatment that isn't up to the new reality that you want. Like the new version of you. If you're getting opportunities that are not up to standard, you have to decline them and you have to put buffers and not accept treatment or service or opportunity. That is not where you're headed, what you want and where you want to go. If it's not up to new use standards, don't take it. And I had an opportunity and I'm just going to talk about it. This shit was disrespect disguised as an opportunity. And I have to fill you in so you have a little bit more understanding about, like, the whole influencer world. So on TikTok, I hit 6.1 million followers. Cool, right? Awesome. Whoa. On my birthday, March 7th, I hit 5 million. It's like March 23rd, we have 6.1. Like everything's going great since this whole shift. Yes. When I said I'm acting in alignment very much on Instagram, I got 1.6 million followers. I had a brand reach out. I ain't had a brand deal offer in over a year. For all the contributing that's happened online, there's been no like decent conversations. But this is the first brand deal that's come along or someone slapped money down. So over a year ago, I had about half the following I have now. I was making between 25 and $40,000 for a sponsored post. It would be a post on Tik Tok and then I would post it on Instagram reels. So it's a video. That's the brand exposure, that's the game. So half the followers, I had 25 to 40,000 for the post and that is a replacement and a supplement for advertisement. So I'll let you know a little bit about the influencer world. So for a company to go pay for ads to have their product or their company be publicized, it's about $10,000 for 1 million impressions. So for a million people to see it and it's like 10 if someone don't know what they're doing, $15,000 for a company to pay that. So for them to go pay an influencer with millions of followers who can pull them a few million views for them to go pay an influencer 40 grand for a post, I pull 2 to 3 million views a video, that's very much going to be a good return on their money. So influencers don't make a lot of money because they're special. You're a replacement for advertisement. But a lot of brands are noticing a lot of influencers don't have pull for a lot of them sold out and a lot of their followers don't care about them no more. So brand deals are not as like common, but especially with me with the whole controversy, all this and that, people just they too scared to align. They too scared to associate with me. Fine, I get it, I respect it. But do not come the back. Now that I'm doing good, once you turn your back on me, you stay turned for life. That goes people, brands, businesses, everybody. I'm big on loyalty. If you ain't got none, get. But now that you have a little bit of the background and like a little information about what I was making. There are influencers who at my following now at 6.1 million on tick tock and 1.6 million on Instagram, $100,000 a post they're fucking making, it's usually between like 60,000 to $100,000. A lot of people online pretend like they're broke. These influencers got bookoo fucking money, all right? But just to gauge and give you a reference, a brand deal for me now, if a brand got the balls to pay it, minimum they should come in with an offer is 50,000, just based off of the following and the engagement that I have. I got Alex Earl numbers right now. This is crazy, but I had an offer come in recently and like I said, it was disrespect. Disguise as an opportunity. A company who actually, like, offered me $20,000 for a post on Tick Tock and Instagram. Now, a lot of people are going to hear that number and be like, oh, my God, take it, it's $20,000. I get it. I would love to have the $20,000. But to take that opportunity is myself, big time. I don't care who says what. That's stupid. That I've turned down deals like that. I've turned down deals, six figures for little mental health service apps and providers because I don't believe in that. They're full of it. But now I'm at a point where I'm like, oh, my God, brand deals, like, are coming back in. What the hell? That's disrespectful. These brands know what they're doing. They just think I'm stupid and I'm not. I'm with uta. They know what they doing too. But it's like, I appreciate that a brand has the balls and they're willing to, like, associate with me. But at the same time, you're not going to just get to get on here. Like, you're not going to be bringing breadcrumbs to the table. You're going to bring a feast, or you're not going to sit at my table because I'm going to give you a feast back. And I'm the type, if I do a brand deal for somebody and it don't go that viral or it doesn't perform that well, I'll do it again for free because I want to make sure everybody's taken care of. Nobody in business will ever has ever and is ever going to be fucked over by me. Nobody's going to be able to walk away from any interaction with me and say, leo me over Leo betrayed me. Nobody gets to say that ever. I always make sure everybody's taken care of. I don't believe in bad business. I don't like it, but I pride myself on that. And by acting like this and living in line like this, how am I supposed to feel insecure? What am I going to feel insecure about? People who are talking shit about me online? Do of Sorry. I don't respect no man who does that. No, that's for the girls. There's a way to do it tastefully. I don't like people be full fledged like going to pound town. And like, I don't like the whole like corn industry. I have to say it like that because there's so many guidelines. Jesus Christ. But I don't like that industry. I think there's a tasteful way for women to do it. It's like of came up and it was like a way for women to make money. And it was like, men are already sexualizing you, so go just do like some provocative little like bikini photos, whatever. Girls made a ton of money with that. I'm like, okay, I get it. I don't agree with the whole like fully intercourse and posting that online. I feel like if you do it tastefully, that's for the girls, you know what I mean? They pretty to look at, they smell good, they look nice. Like if you do it respectfully in a way where it's like a gag, go for it. But for men, I don't know what it is. I don't respect no man who does that. I can't wrap my head around it. I'm like, that's so easy way out. That's so like for as a man, go start some drugs. I started going, be respectable. You're gonna go over here and take the girls gig. The girls finally get to get out the strip clubs, they finally get to go profit and make a ton of money. And you're gonna go in there and take their thing. Like I said, women are pretty to look at. I'm gay. But like, I like looking at girls. Like all my girlfriends who are on there, I subscribe, I support them, I love it. But if you do it tastefully, not in a way where you ruin your entire career because you was like busting it open, wide open for like $7. Okay, if you're gonna be on there doing it, 50 bucks, you want to see a little punani, it's gonna be much more than that. Like the whole undervaluing yourself. People over here showing everything, nooks and crannies, everything. $7 a latte at Starbucks. You showing some cookie, huh? No, baby, I'm not mad at you for doing it. I'm mad at you for underselling yourself. All the men I'm mad at, I don't like men who do that. That's very pathetic to me. Okay, back on. Okay, back on track to the whole insecurity thing with the brand deal topic. I'm talking about, talking about this probably not going to go in my favor for me. It's not going to like help me. It's probably going to shoot me in the foot. Brand's going to be scared. I'm not going to name drop nobody ain't a rat. I'm not going to name drop the brands. If I'm talking bad about it down date, like, if it's something real bad, okay. But I'm going to have to do it real tactfully so I don't get sued. But with that whole example, like I'm saying you can't accept quality that does not match the value that you are trying to live in a line with. Like, if the value is there, you got to act in line with it. If it's not in alignment, it's not alignment. You got to reject it. Yeah. Does it hurt my heart to say no to the $20,000? I've done it before, I'll do it again. But you're not able to feel insecure when you own yourself like that. When you say no to things that don't reciprocate and like reflect your value properly. Stop accepting breadcrumbs. Like I said, you bring a feast or you don't come to my table. And I want you guys to have that mentality too. If it don't reflect your value, get it the out of here. Because that is typically the things where you start questioning your value. You're going to take something that's lower than what you think because you're so desperate for something that you take it and then you regret it. And then they treat you wrong or they treat you bad or they don't pay you on time or they don't pay you at all and then you got to go sue them. That's when things go bad, is when you drop your standards for what you hold other people to, to get access to you. That's a whole different level of standard. And you can't be insecure when you holding it. And if you're sitting over here worried because you're turning something down because it don't reflect your value. That is the biggest energetic investment you can put into yourself. I have the proof of every single time I turn something down. Usually it's turned down, turned down, turned down four or five things, boom. Then something comes and I'm like, woo, gag. That's when it comes back. But it's an investment and you can't be insecure when you live like that. Because even when I was at my lowest points, my ego would still come through a little bit and be like, yeah, we you dead. I'll be all wanting to unalive myself, all sad, all depressed, whatever. But in the back of my head, I still had that little bit of fire because I'm like, I acted in line with it and I did what a lot of people don't got the balls to do. I've lived with integrity. There's no give up. There's people who have acted so far out of integrity and they still going, what you downing yourself for? Get real. Enough of the insecurity shit. Be who you are. Own yourself fully. And it's going to be what it's going to be. That's my message for this episode and that's all I really want to say on that. I hope this helped you enough with being insecure. Okay? You ain't no loser. So the insecurity is what's going to make you lose things. Don't take actions out of anxious and like, desperation and insecure. Just because you feel insecure about something don't mean you have to act insecure. All right? Don't do that ever. Love you after I've yelled at you. Love you so bad. But all the people who have talked about me online choke and die. Not you. I don't love you. I love everybody else. Okay? That's all. My dad's in town visiting. I'm gonna go hang out with him. I finished my podcast. I'm gonna go hang out. I hope this episode helped you. If you like this episode, leave. Leave it a thumbs up. Yeah. As we do. Subscribe if you're new all that. If you're listening to the audio version, hit the download button. On Apple Podcasts and Spotify five stars rating. You know the drill. And if you made it this far in the episode, comment. A leopard emoji or tiger or something. Yeah, I like those. My favorite. Oh, my God. One more thing I have to update you on. I have a new manufacturer. We're not doing merch no more. We're flipping this high quality into clothing. So I just wanted to update you to people who listen to the very end. There's some big things in the works. So excited. But I'm done dealing with people who I was dealing with. I have a whole separate entire company I'm paying out of pocket to work with. So just know what's coming. It's coming. Oh, you're gonna gag. I'm so excited. But that's it. I gotta go have a family day. I gotta go see my family. So everybody be safe. Take care of yourself. Love you so bad. And I'll talk to you guys next Sunday.
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