Loading summary
Transcript1 lines
- [00:00]
A
With networks like Fox News, CNN, Ms. now, and more, sling is the best way to get the news you care about. Which is great for everyone. Well, almost everyone. Where's that dang paper boy? I need my news outdated and rolled up like a burrito. Finally. Now I can read all about what happened forever ago. Get the most important news delivered reliably at the best price. Sling lets you do that? Visit sling.comnews to see your offer. I had to make notes for this one. I'm reviewing them really quick. I'm preparing for my class. No, really, this episode is not a cute, light hearted, little funny thing like this is actually going to change your life. If you deal with feeling stuck in survival mode and feeling hopeless. And I'm not talking like a cute little like, oh, I'm just hopeless about this one little thing. I'm talking about hopeless where you feel like nothing ever works out for you, Nothing goes right, no one's trustworthy, God hates you, God has like a little vendetta against you. Or just everything that can go wrong will go wrong. And feeling very prevented in life, that type of hopeless where you're ready to beat your head against the wall. This is what I just flipped my soul roundhouse kicked me, body bagged me and told me, sit down, shut up, learn something. So I'm going to tell you the new awareness that I got and I was about to say, and hopefully I can flip it for you too, but it's going to okay, so let's do this. So the thing that got me stuck in survival mode for a hot minute it started to like drive me absolutely insane is feeling like life is unfair. You've been betrayed, fucked over. It feels like your heart doesn't matter. Like it doesn't matter how good of intentions that you have and how good you help people. You're just left on your own. Nothing goes right for you. Everything seems unfair. And it's like this hatred and rage and feeling prevented by some higher power. It's like I've had this relationship with God back and forth, back and forth, back and forth. I feel like you love me. I feel like you hate me. What did I do? What? I pissed you off apparently. Because look at my life. Look what you're doing to me. With that level of unfairness that you perceive in life, it leaves you feeling stuck in anger and absolute depression, hopelessness. Like you're nothing but back and forth. The thing that'll kick you into survival mode with life kind of feeling like that is you feel like it's all up to you. You have to do it all, you have to handle it all. And if you try and rely on somebody, good luck, it's going to go to. Even things in your control just seem like sabotaged weirdly. Like if something could go wrong, goes wrong. I fully relate to that experience at a level I've never heard anybody else describe. So the thing with getting kicked into hypervigilance mode, like when you're activated in fight ORF flight mode, right? Survival mode, you're biologically wired to survive. When you see a threat, your body reacts to handle it. Your mind gets caught in hyper vigilance mode. When you feel alone in this life, when you feel like no one can help you, no one is trustworthy, nothing can go right for you. And then you have that thought about God of like, you got your foot on my neck. When you feel like you're at odds with a higher power, that is when you're stuck in hyper vigilance mode, you feel like you're up against like a what? An opponent that you can't beat. Because for me personally, this is hell for me on Earth is to be who I am, how I am, as physically strong as I am, as violent as I am, as smart as I am street smart, book smart. I can figure out anything, I can find a way around anything. And when I feel like I can't figure things out, it makes me so angry. And I feel like with God, I've been like against an opponent that I can't win against because it's like every time you turn around when you're in hyper vigilance mode, it's always a problem, it's always a threat, it's always an issue. And that's all you can see. When you stuck in hyper vigilance mode, you're constantly just scanning for threats. When you're activated into fight or flight mode, hyper vigilant, that's you that kicks on. You're ready to see what's going to go wrong. You're predicting things that can go wrong. You get stuck in it and all you start to see is issues. You lose the ability to see anything good. So to make this sound real stupid, dumb and like, okay, I understand that. I started thinking, how is it that you experience things as a person? Like how does a person or a human being experience something? You have to have your awareness on it to experience it. Because things happen all the time, everywhere that you are not aware of. Other people are experiencing them because their attention is on them. Things are happening non stop that you can't see and do not know are happening. So your awareness has to be on something for you to experience it is the first way. It kind of clicked me in the head. I was like, wait a second, wait. Because everybody says your thoughts create your reality. That's. That's true. But what your awareness is on is what you experience. Because the thing that's flipped in your head when you're in hypervigilance mode is you are reacting to the external reality you are not feeling in control of. You are doing nothing but reacting to what is happening in your life. Problems that come up, inconveniences, this, this, that, and the third. You know what I'm talking about. And it's not as simple as like, oh, your thoughts create your reality. Like, think of a billion dollars and it'll just float up your ass. That's not how it works. But this is. This is how we come, like, full circle around back to that point where it makes sense. Because your awareness has to be on things to experience them. Hyper vigilance mode sticks you only into threats. All you see is threats, all you see is problems, and you are not able to see anything else. So your awareness can't be placed on good. Therefore, you see no good, you perceive no good, and you do not experience any good. So after realizing that, I'm like, okay, I am reacting to the external nonstop. I want to get back to a point where I control how I feel, no matter what's happening. Because you could be happy as a pig in shit if you just have the right perspective during a situation. Like, there's so many times you could put me in a padded room and I would have a blast. I would make light of something. I would have fun because I can control my thoughts. When you're in hyper vigilance mode, you feel like you cannot control your thoughts at all. This was a hard pill to swallow because as valid as how I've been feeling is, I have actually been experiencing the truth of what my awareness has been on. Nothing but problems, headache, betrayal, and bullshit. That is all valid, but because I was trapped in survival mode, I couldn't see the good. It doesn't mean good was not happening. It doesn't mean good things were not happening for me while I haven't seen them. Like I said, things happen that you don't see, see, and aren't aware of. But it's not as cute as, like, oh, okay, I'm just gonna start seeing the good and see how things are going good for me. Because when you're stuck in fight or flight mode and you're caught in hyper vigilance, you are in a vibrational contradiction to positive. You are stuck in a place where you're scanning for threats. That's hypervigilance. Being in survival mode, being grateful and being in a place of gratitude is such a vibrational contradiction, you cannot get there. You can't close that gap because you're stuck. You're reacting to your reality. You are not the one controlling where your thoughts are going. You're facing threats. You're seeing if there's lions and tigers and bears and things trying to attack you and kill you, that's survival mode. So it's weird how the body can like fully lock you in hell. The only way to unlock that prison door is to feel safe. And when you're stuck in survival mode, you. Your brain starts to get an identity formed where things go wrong for me, things go bad for me. And that's all you see and that's all you experience. And you're stuck reacting. So it just further compounds itself in this cycle. But safety is the one thing that allows you to flip it and get back into being able to see good. Like, you have to unhook that vibration at the bottom of hell that you're stuck to of hyper vigilance mode and come back up. The tricky thing about being in survival mode, you can be reactivated into it at all times. Like if you don't feel a sense of safety at all. And we're going to get into a lot more with this and like how to recognize it and flip it, all that. But if you can't feel safe, you are stuck in that, you're not able to come out of that lower vibration. You're going to keep attracting and manifesting more and more shit that aligns with that, with the identity that you've created. But I want to talk about things that can activate you, that keep you stuck in survival mode so you don't feel so crazy. You feel like you understand why your brain's doing what you do, why you feeling what you're feeling. Okay? I promise you, not nuts. Okay? So the first thing that activates me a lot when I'm stuck in survival mode and like puts me back into fight or flight mode. Doomsday is any inconvenience when you're stuck in Hyper Vigilance mode. Any amount of normal friction in life will activate you as if it's a personal attack. Nothing is just an a coincidence. Everything is an intentional attack against you. And you see every single thing as more proof of you're unsafe. And you need to handle more and do more and protect yourself more. So it's like a vicious little cycle and trap, but with inconveniences that happen, like normal friction in life. I'm talking if it rains outside, I would get to a point where I'm like, of course. Of course it fucking rains right now. And I would take it as like a personal thing. Also with traffic, like, at certain times of the day, there's more traffic than others. I would get so irritated in traffic because I thought it was a personal attack. Like your brain warps when you're stuck in survival mode too long and no inconvenience is a coincidence. It's all a personal attack on you. It's all more proof of how things are just bad and wrong for you. You. I get it. But literally, daily life, experiencing normal little friction and normal inconveniences and problems that happen in life, it's not just little things. Everything gets really big. Also with that, another activation is when things go right or go good. It's like if a problem comes up. Like today, before I recorded this episode, I'm still healing myself and getting myself, like, to see all of this very different. Before I started recording, I was like, I'm freezing cold. And last night it stormed. So I'm like, outside it's not hot, It's a little chilly. Outside, I'm freezing. So I'm like, I'm going to go literally run a bath. I usually only take a bath because I don't fit in most tubs. I only usually take a bath when I want to feel, like, comforted or warm up really quick. I don't got no sauna in the house, so I run a full bathtub. All right? I go to put my foot in there. Freezing, ice cold. The water is. I was like, oh, Jesus Christ. What? So I'm. I'm. I start to panic and my brain starts to doomsday and go 10 steps ahead into negative of the power went out last night. My water tank, my water heater system blew up. Something's wrong with it. It's about to cost me XYZ amount of dollars. I'm about to have all these different plumbers and electricians and all these people trying to come to my house and fix it. I'm not gonna have hot water for a while. I'm gonna have to go to my sisters to shower every day. So, so inconvenient. I started going down this whole spiral of how being in survival mode and hypervigilance mode goes. The other kicker on top of all this is, both of my cars need service at the same time, so that's fun. So I go climbing my ass right up in the attic, Because I'm like, I'm gonna go figure out what's wrong with my water tank. Come to find out, I don't got a water tank. It's a tankless one, so it's gas. So I start googling how to figure it out. I find the damn thing. I'm worried I'm gonna fall through my ceiling, But I'm up there. I find it, okay. And I brought a phone charger with me so I could check the outlet. So I plug my phone in to the outlet. Like, I plug the charger in, my phone don't work. So, okay, it's an outlet issue. Like, it's the plug. It's a power issue. All the other lights, all the electricity works in my house. But for whatever reason, something must have got tripped with the water heater. Almost a tank. Again, I don't got no tank. Tankless over here. But then I go running downstairs, and I go to the breaker in my house. I flip the breaker, make sure everything's on, and then the water starts getting hot. But the funny thing is, I didn't need to go get a bath no more, because running up and down, up and down, up and down from the garage to my attic, I got hot. So I warmed myself up. I was fine. I was ready, and here I am in front of the camera. But it took intentional effort to check myself from doomsday about it 25 steps ahead into negative before I just even went and looked at the issue. So I looked at it, checked it out. But I also noticed after I got done with everything and I got it all situated, it went better than I thought. I didn't feel a sense of happy. Like, oh, yay. I felt a sense of relief because I'm like, okay. I skated away from an inconvenience without having to put too much into it and having to be too drained by it. I like when good things happen after you've been stuck in survival mode too long. You don't see it as, things go good for me, things go right for me. This is fine. You perceived a threat, you activated, you got ready to handle it. It went easier than you thought. And it's just a sense of relief, like, you got off easy on this one. Like, okay, it wasn't as bad as I thought. It Was going to be, but there's no attention to the positive of it. And I had to assure myself, like, no, Leo, this is how things go for me. This is how things go. But when I say reactivated, you can get reactivated in that situation. Of like, okay, I got out easy on that something else is going to go wrong because my brain started going there too. Of like, okay, that was too easy. God's going to punish me. God's going to me up in some other way. No, there is no God that punishes people. Look at the people on the Epstein list. All of them are still breathing, drawing breath. Okay? God ain't intervening is what I've learned. I to do another episode soon about things I got wrong about God and my relationship with him. Now, he's not a punisher. He's not punishing. Okay, clearly. So me being who I am and how I am, I'm not eating kids. So God is not wasting his time punishing me. This is a figment of my own imagination. Getting rid of that thought of like, I'm going to be punished in some other way. That's a reactivation of like, okay, you got out easy on this one problem. You're assuming another one's going to hit you and blindside you. So that's another way you can be reactivated back into survival mode. Okay. The next thing on my list of activations, physical safety. People can become a threat. I got to a point a couple weeks ago where people just walking by my house, if I could see them out through my blinds, it would trip me. Like, I would get on guard. Like, any human being would trip me into fight or flight mode because I felt so unsafe and and only saw bad happening people taking advantage of me over and wanting to cause harm to me. Like, I was ready at any chance. But your brain, when it gets stuck in that too long. Any human being can be perceived as a threat. Your body will register humans as threats. Think of a dog who's been beaten by every person it's been in contact with. Eventually, that dog's just going to stay away from people. And anytime a person walks by that dog, it's going to, like, either cower and hide or it's going to get ready. Like, yeah, I'm a bite you. So we're kind of similar in that way to other animals. We all survive. Next one is money. Money. When you're stuck in fight or flight mode, you will see nothing but burdens, issues, unexpected expenses, how you don't have enough. It's going to be nothing but irritation and headache and your livelihood, you need money to live. So that is an activation that will put you back in survival mode nonstop and so many times a day if you don't get a hold of like and become aware of what's going on. Betrayal is another thing that will activate you. And being betrayed once is something that reactivates you non stop. Because when you realize you can't trust somebody and trust people in general, when you're stuck in fight orf flight mode, isolation 100%, you want to isolate, you want to be away from everybody because you see people as problems, you see people as threats. But the betrayal thing goes so many steps further because you lose your ability to trust yourself in your own judgment, so you feel even more unsafe. And then with betrayal, let's say you find out lies, whether it's business, relationship, friendship, whatever it is, family, someone lies to you. When you're stuck in hyper vigilance mode, you will rerun scenarios all day long. Because when I find out the truth of something, my brain don't let it go. And it goes back and rewrites all of my memories with certain people. Every conversation where you lied to me, my brain makes me rethink about it. And it's like a hypervigilance thing. I will go revisit every single thing that's happened. It's like if two years I've been with somebody or been friends with somebody and come to find out they betray me or something. All the small little conversations will play through my head just at random points in the day. And as you think of this person, you will be reactivated into fight ORF flight mode. Because when you experience a lie, you're jolted into a new reality. When you find out the truth of that lie, it breaks. Like everything that you've thought you've known breaks. Betrayal is no joke. So stop lying to people. You're gonna get killed for it one day. You're gonna make the wrong person snap. Okay, enough with this with people. But when lies get exposed, you gotta revisit it all. Like your brain will do it. And then you lose your trust and your ability to perceive reality the way you thought things were. You get blindsided of like, okay, so nothing is what I thought it was. You will lose your grip on reality, but those memories and scenarios replaying through your head will reactivate you. Especially if you're dealing with someone like an ex who's like, trying to destroy you or get revenge or like business. It's like anytime you think of those people, you Register them as a threat after you've been hurt. So any thought of them, good or bad, is going to stimulate you. It's like when your stomach drops after a breakup. When you start thinking about somebody and your stomach drops every time you think about them. Or you get that cold feeling like you're cold and all of a sudden just like anxious. It's like when you're looking up your ex on social media like a day after you broke up and it's like you see them out doing something and your stomach drops. It's like that anticipation, disgusting feeling that is a reactivation. And it will happen over and over and over again. Another thing that will reactivate you with seeing things from the past is you'll start to see everything you could have done to prevent being in the position that you're in. You're looking for any kind of control subconsciously. And when you see all the things in the past you could have done or should have known and you didn't do things, it's like another reactivation. And then there's guilt and there's anger and frustration and more hopelessness because you're like, okay, I could have avoided this, I'm going to go ahead and defend you for a second. If you knew better, you would have done better. So standing where you are now and judging you in the past for not doing shit different is not fair. Stop fucking doing it. Okay? From here forward, you choose different, you do better. But beating yourself up for no reason for what? Now the other thing that will reactivate you, this one gets me all the time, is when you think about having hope for something new going forward, or like hope of something going good, you will immediately be jolted and activated into survival mode. Because all of the times that you've had hope in the past, you've abused yourself to try and convince yourself to have hope. And then you absolutely got shit on or things went God awful. Having hope becomes a threat. Having hope for things, trying to get yourself to think positively. Your brain will flash in front of you how that is a stupid ass idea. Have we not had enough proof is what your brain's going to do. Your logical mind's trying to keep you safe and your survival instincts, like, okay, last time we had hope and we went this way about it, we got up, so we're not going down that road again. Your brain will try and prevent you from having hope and that's a miserable way to live. Another thing that reactivates me is when I'm in survival mode. I don't have access to my intuition. I don't have access to spiritual abilities and insight and stuff like that that I'm used to operating with. And that comes with a sense of abandonment of your soul abandoning you. You feel like God abandoned you. And that will trip you into fight or flight mode and keep you stuck there. Like you feel like you have to get more hyper vigilant. You feel more unprepared to handle threats and unprepared to handle life. So you're stuck. But one thing I do want to say is your intuition can never leave you. Your intuition is never not there. It just doesn't scream. So when you're freaking out, running around doomsday and activated all the time and not seeing, no good, not seeing, no positive, your survival instincts and your survival thoughts reacting to reality are just the ones running the show. You're not able to hear your intuition. Your intuition's always there. It's just not screaming for you to hear it. It's the calm knowing that you have. It's never going to scream louder than that. So the only way to reaccess that is to get out of survival mode. But I'm still going through my activations. There's a couple more. So lack of control is the next activation I want to talk about. Because when you see that you don't have any control over a situation and you also feel like your actions and everything is being prevented, it's like, huh? Then you get angry because you think things will happen as bad as possible. So you're activated from that and the anger will activate you further. And then that certain times you want to get revenge because it's like a lack of control. What I've done, what all the things I've done in my life, it's like it feels like the ultimate just like it moment. And you will search for any type of control. And if revenge, thoughts of revenge give you a sense of control, you will entertain them. I do not recommend acting on them. But it's your life. You choose what you want to do. Because I would never sit here and tell a parent who had their child murdered or something or harmed not to get revenge on the person who did it. Because I would, if I had a kid, I would do that. So sometimes revenge is worth it. I'm just gonna be honest because the justice system's full of like, sometimes the justice system is just gonna let them walk. So yeah, there is certain circumstances where revenge is needed and I feel like my soul would be content with that at certain times. So like that's a scenario where I would be content with that. You know what I mean? Okay, let's move on to the last one. The last activation that I noticed a lot is being too aware of the Law of attraction. Oh, Cuz like I said, when you're stuck in survival mode, you can't think of nothing good, positive, happy, nothing. So being aware of Law of Attraction and you think you understand it, but now you've like lost control. Like you can't control your thoughts, you can't control nothing. You're stuck in fight or flight mode. Just the awareness of Law of Attraction. You start to freak out and it will reactivate you of like, okay, if I'm thinking negative, I'm going to get negative. If I think dog, it's going to keep happening. So it's like this fear that comes up of like, okay, if I do create my own reality, I'm not able to control it right now. And when I'm not creating my reality, you assume God's got something against you and he's punishing you, the universe is punishing you. So it's just, that's a reactivation thing. Big for me, it's just awareness of the Law of Attraction. So we've talked enough about getting activated, right? You get it? I think so. Now let's talk about the only way to get out of survival mode and to get out of all of that is to downregulate. Tricky, right? When your nervous system's fucked up. Yeah. First thing is uncertainty, like being in the dark. No one's scared of the dark. You're scared of what you think is in the dark. Now the next thing is you got to see. You've been living in a false reality. As real as it's felt, it ain't true. Because you've only been experiencing bad from your experience. That's all you've truly experienced. That's all your awareness has been able to see. That's all you have felt like you've experienced. Right? But the ultimate truth is good is still happening. It's not just bad. And there is truly no external thing that can change the way you feel. Because if you think about, okay, someone hands you $50 million, okay, if you're stressing about money, you think, okay, if someone hands me 50 million bucks, yeah, I'd be happy. No you wouldn't. You'd be a stressed out goddamn wreck. In the past I've also had thoughts of like, external things that can happen, of someone who was harming me and doing Things to me, them dying, that thought would bring me relief. But if you actually think about it, it's not going to bring you relief. It. It just makes you feel like the threat is gone. The damage that's been done to you mentally and emotionally and spiritually is done. What you want, truly, is your mind back. You want to have hope that things can go good for you. You want things to go good for you, truly. That's the core of it. Like, that's what you want, but you feel like you can't have it. Having money, someone handing you 50 million bucks. If you're stuck in survival mode, things will happen where you lose it. You will be nothing but a stressed out wreck because now you have something to lose. How do I manage it? What do I do with it? Oh, my God. All these unexpected expenses that I see coming up with my income now you still have that mindset and it's still gonna be there when you get that 50 million and it's gonna suck you dry. If you're not able to feel safe, you will not feel safe. With $50 million, it will start to make you feel like it's more of a threat. And I have the perfect example of how this got revealed to me because I had this desire of I want a couch. I want a new couch. I want a comfortable couch. Like, as chaos as my life has been, I'm like, I want to be able to just go into my living room and lay the down. I just want to. I want comfort right now. So I have a desire for comfort come up. And I have a desire to find a new couch. I immediately am hit with being absolutely drained, exhausted, pissed off. And I was like, huh? This is when things can make sense, is when they don't make sense. Like when your reaction to something is so irrational. So with me with the couch, I'm like, okay, I just observing what just happened in me. I had a desire for a new couch because I want comfort. And I immediately was hit with disappointment and anger and like, hopelessness. Now, the fuck did we just jump from I want a new couch to that? How do that make sense? But that's exactly what has been wrong with my mind. And what happens to your mind when you're in survival mode too damn long? So me with the couch, I had to observe it. Okay, what just made me think that, what just led me from desire to devastation? How did that just happen? Like, the thought of a new couch just pissed me off so bad. And I was like, okay, what is it about getting a New couch that I think is going to be like such a problem. I started listing things off. It's going to be too hard to find. It's going to irritate the fuck out of me if I end up buying one online. It's not going to be what I want in person. I'm have to go through dealing with returning it. It's going to be way too damn expensive. It's going to stress me out and it's just going to be more headache and more problem. So it wasn't just I have a desire for a new couch devastation. It was I have a desire for a new couch. My identity of being trapped in survival mode took over and it stopped me from even going wanting to go forward with that desire. It prevented me from taking action toward it. And this is exactly how every single thing in your life feels when you are stuck in hyper vigilance mode. This is the shit that makes you not want to get out the bed. But the thing I realized about all of this is it's actually a protection mechanism for your brain and your mind and it's a protection mechanism from your soul. And when this protection mechanism kicks on and you don't become aware of it, that's when you get the anhedonia. That's when you get the depression, the hopelessness, the fatigue, the exhaustion. Wanting to use substances. This was the main thing that made me want to use cocaine and why I was using it for so long in the past. I haven't been doing it, which I'm proud as hell of myself for, because like I've been mad as I've been going through it, but I never resorted. It's like I feel like I'm going through this cycle of relearning all these things all over again. But the thing I want to point out is you're not up. Nothing's gone wrong. This is a protection mechanism. It's. It's here to help you because your soul is trying to stop you, to make you see how powerful your mind is so you can fucking use it. When this whole protection mechanism kicks on of thought of a desire for something and you're immediately stopped by to do it, like your energy is depleted, you're emotionally just like irritated and you don't want to do it and you see everything in life like that, you're being called back to stop and take control of your mind. You're reacting to reality and your identity now has been so wrapped up in it, nothing makes sense. Like for me to have that type of reaction over the thought of trying to get a new couch. And that's when you're supposed to see. This doesn't make sense. Something about how I've been seeing the world doesn't make sense. Because like I said, hyper vigilance puts you in a false reality where you only see bad and you only see a negative feeling alone, feeling like no one's there for you. Your soul is literally stopping you. And when I say it's stopping you, it's draining your energy before you even take another step. Because the steps that you take will further this cycle. Because you haven't flipped your mind. You're not meant to take any more action. You're meant to stop. You're allowed to stop is the thing. It doesn't matter how bad seems and how scared you are to stop. You're supposed to stop. Your soul is trying to stop you. And if you don't listen, it fully will. It's gonna get your attention, and it does it through your emotions. You can never shut your emotions off. Your emotions are your guidance system. I've learned in this life. Like it's on my little compass. You can't ever turn that off. It don't matter how bad you try and break that compass or what substances you pour over it to try and make it point another direction. Your soul communicates with you through your emotions and your intuition. It's guiding you at all times, and it's guiding you to dead stop. Fucking sit down. Because you are too powerful. Your mind is destroying your life. And it's very hard in these moments to trust that how bad you feel is meant to be happening. But it's the truth. You're meant to get to this point. So you start to question things. I made a little list of a couple things that my soul was trying to tell me through all this. And it's things that your soul is trying to tell you if you relate to the things that I'm describing with how you feel. So number one, instead of beating yourself up for all the times in the past, you didn't do things different. Because like I said before, you know what you know now. And instead of looking at all the shit in the past that you could have done, should have done, would have done, you're looking at that through a lens of you're the only one who could have helped yourself. No, look back at all of the times you did not listen to yourself, when you knew something was off and didn't listen, when you made certain decisions and you felt that ting or that sting of like, something's off, but you did it anyway. You were being guided the entire time. That is what your soul wants you to realize about the past. Stop looking back how you can change shit. You can't. What you have to see so that you can move forward out of this negative spiral. And is, you were always guided and supported and you had that fucking compass with you. So look back in the past of how you weirdly knew something was off. We put a little more trust in you going forward with yourself. Okay? So next thing your soul wants you to see is how you're already living unwanted experiences before they happened. Like with me in the example of my hot water not working earlier, when that happened, I was already 10 steps into the most unwanted experience that I could have. Because remember how I was saying the electrician is going to have to come, the plumber is going to have to come and have to replace the whole thing, all these different issues. And I was about to start taking actions in line with that. I was about to call an electrician and call a plumber, but instead of doing that, I stopped. Because your soul sees how you are 10 steps ahead into the unwanted. And when you take actions into future experiences right now, it makes them happen. So that's a big thing with manifestation, is do things as if they're already done when you want to manifest something that you want. Like when I was trying to find a warehouse to do my own fulfillment, I went to the store before I had the warehouse, and I was buying dollies, hammers, gloves, a bunch of stuff that I was going to need at my warehouse once I got it. And the next day I manifested finding the perfect warehouse. So the same way that you can take actions in line with a wanted experience that you want to have before it even happens, yet, you have to see how you've been doing that to the negative experiences too. Because like with me with the water heater, I was like, no, hold on. Like, I became aware, okay, I've just gone 25 steps into the unwanted. Shit. I'm already over here calling the plumber. I'm already over here paying $20,000 to get everything ripped up in my house and fixed. Like, for what? You ain't even looked at the thing yet. So that's when I was like, okay, let me go look at it in the attic first. Let me go up there and just see what's going on. Because your soul wants you to stop going into the unwanted experience. Stop manifesting the unwanted experience. Your soul is stopping you from Doing that, it's draining you so hard that you're just stuck and not taking action. Because your soul knows and sees what you're doing. You keep going into the unwanted and manifesting it, right? But it's not your fault because your brain's stuck in hyper vigilance mode. All you're seeing is threats, I get it. But this is everything that's happening. So the whole thing is like, okay, I went up into the attic, saw the problem, and it was solved really quickly. I fixed it myself. Catching your brain before you start going too far and living that unwanted experience before it already happens. Because like I said, it works in the flip, you live positive and your desired experiences before they happen. Because when I actually started looking for my couch, I found one so much easier than I thought. Literally. It's the craziest thing how fast you can flip your own reality. You fucking control it. Because I became aware of that whole thing with the couch, and I was like, all right, I'm 25 steps ahead. I ain't even pulled up my phone and start looking for couches yet. And I ended up finding the perfect couch within five minutes. The next day, went and bought it. Paid for was a fucking cloud couch from Restoration Hardware. Like my dream couch. Found it for a steal. Was almost brand new, too. Just been professionally clean. Got a steal on it because the people were having to leave out of town, like, in a rush, and they sold it to me, and I went and picked it up. Everything went perfect. I found the dream couch, got it in my house. Perfect size, perfect fit, comfortable, love it. But it's just that it's so powerful. Your mind is so powerful, and that's what your soul is trying to tell you and teach you. Stop making yourself suffer for no reason. You know what I mean? Like, when I was trapped in this, it would. I'm able to laugh and joke about it now. It's hell. But I'm tossing you the key to get out of the prison cell. Get out. Here, take it. And I've experienced this cycle so many times in my life. I've experienced this exact thing and how quickly you can flip your own reality so many times. I fully, 100% believe it. And you're already. If you're listening to this and you're resonating with what I'm saying, you're already feeling a little bit relieved. Your emotional system is already easing because this is the truth you're meant to line up with and start to live and experience for yourself. You already feel the relief so trust that. That is how you know you're living in line with your soul and your higher self. That's exactly it. The relief, the ease, the wow. That makes sense. Okay, I want to talk about the sympathetic and parasympathetic nervous system really quick before I go into the last thing that your soul's kind of like trying to tell you. So I learned this thing when I was in nursing school called point and shoot to understand parasympathetic and sympathetic nervous systems, right? So point, that's when you dick gets hard. That's how you remember parasympathetic. Your parasympathetic nervous system has to be activated so that you can get a hard on. To be aroused, you have to be in a downregulated state, right? Shoot is sympathetic when you're about to finish. Like, how do I don't talk sexual ever on the Internet. But like, you remember things with sexual connotations. So for you to shoot to finish sexual intercourse, your sympathetic nervous system has to be sparked. That's why everything gets really intense toward the end. But that alone is how I can identify which system is activated. Parasympathetic. Is it pointed? Am I calm enough? Do I feel safe and calm enough where I could get aroused? Like, that's parasympathetic versus shoot. Do I want to shoot somebody? That's how I also remember. It's like it's a sexual part of finishing. You like ejaculate shoot versus I want to shoot you. That's another way that you can tell. And your body and your nervous system is letting you know. It's if you're stuck in fight orf flight mode, if you have zero sex drive, you're not feeling safe, you're not feeling downregulated, you're activated. And that's why a lot of guys have a problem getting aroused with sex when they're nervous, when you're anxious, you're not. Your parasympathetic nervous system is not activated, therefore it ain't getting up. I notice I'm really out of alignment when my sex drive drops to zero. So that's another little thing keep in mind. But I want to talk about the way that my soul kind of like talks to me through the urges that I get when I'm activated. And it's not really my soul, but it's like emotional system, nervous system, and things I want to kind of bring up so you can help notice when you're activated. Because it gets kind of hard to observe that everybody's like, oh, observe what you're feeling. Okay, here's how to do it. So some things that I observe, fighting, duh. Like, you feel, like, anxious, like you want to fight. You get more aggressive, you get angry. That's one that I notice. But a big one is, all of a sudden, I want to wear a hoodie. Like, I want to cover my skin and cover my head. I always put a hoodie over my head when I feel activated. It's like a comfort thing. You have to start listening to your body because it will tell you what it needs. And your soul is kind of talking through that too. But that's one thing I notice I get an urge for is I want to cover my skin. Another one is quiet. Like, I want quiet and silence. Or I want to hear the birds chirp. I want to hear nature. No people. I don't want no people around. I just want to hear, like, quiet and stillness is a big one. Pacifying behaviors are another one. So oral fixation is a pacifying behavior. Smoking, biting your nails, eating. That's all oral. Like, if you think of a baby, that's how they pacify themselves. Like when you're over here drinking breast milk, you're. You're chill. Like, you're down regulating. Your digestive system's on. Like, that's a soothing thing. It's a soothing behavior to put something in your mouth. I smoke cigarettes like a fucking train. When I'm activated in the fight or flight mode, okay. Another thing that I notice is when I'm activated, I start closing all windows and doors. I set my security system. I close my garage door. I lock down my home fully. If I'm out in public, I all of a sudden want to fucking get out of wherever I'm at. Another one is, I feel fast. I don't know how to describe that feeling. It's not anxiety, but when I'm activated into fight or flight mode, I all of a sudden feel fast. Not like, ooh, I'm Lightning McQueen. I'm Finna Take off running. Like, I'm not trying on a new pair of shoes. Like, oh, I'm gonna be so fast in these. It's like a sensation of everything is fast. My thoughts are fast, my emotions are fast. It's like everything just gets very fast. Not time. How do you describe this experience? Nothing's relaxed. Not much thought is happening. Thoughts are flashing by. But, like, it's just this. You get discomfort. It's like if you do a line of coke. Like, you just feel fast. That's How I feel when I'm activated into fight or flight mode. Sometimes you just feel like. It's not anxiety. It's just like you're, like, stimulated and you feel like you need to do something. That's how I feel when I'm perceiving a threat. It's like you're scanning, you're looking. It's like everything just gets really quick. And the biggest thing that I noticed when I get activated is I can't get my mind off of replaying situations or planning for bad outcomes and how things could go wrong. Like, planning for how situations could turn and like, finding out how I've been blindsided. That's a really big thing. Now I made a list of what I do and what to do when you get activated. So number one, if you. If you're activated into fight orf, flight mode or hypervigilance, if there's no physical threat, there's nothing going on, stop. Like, if there's a lion coming after you. Yeah, fight, run. Do something. Don't just stand there. But if you notice you're activated and there's no actual immediate physical threat, stop. Then say it out loud. Just saying it out loud immediately pulls you above the experience of it. Observing it disconnects you from the vibration of being in it. It separates you from it. So just observing it. Notice you're activated and then say it out loud, I'm activated. It fully, like, lets you adjust for a second. And then typically with friction in life, if some inconvenience happens or traffic or somebody cuts you off or you drop something, break something, or the fucking water heater go down, say out loud, normal friction. You have to start reminding yourself and kind of guiding yourself back into, like, a normal mind that you have control over. Stop letting it run. Stop letting it go. Doomsday. 10 steps ahead. Just saying out loud, normal friction immediately makes me feel so much more at ease. Okay, before we keep going, I do want to acknowledge the anger you're gonna feel when you feel like you have to basically rehab yourself and your mind. Because this whole process takes a rehabilitation of your own mind and your emotions, your relationship with yourself and your relationship to life. The anger you're going to feel of someone. If someone's done something to you that has put you into survival mode and you feel up by a certain experience that was unfair. You're going to feel hatred, you're going to feel mad about how you feel up, and you're going to feel irritated that you. You have to go through doing this to Yourself to rehab yourself. Don't look at it like that. It's easy to. I'm going to validate it for you. Everybody feels that. Like you get to walk off scot free. I'm over here traumatized like a fucking little bitch and I got to rehab myself. You kidding me? That's how I get. Sometimes I get real pissed off. Makes me want to slit their throat. But the thing to remember is you broke the cycle. Now stay out of it because you're going to get looped back into it. And this does get easier. It gets way easier. And as time goes and as you experience things. Because the proof will start to happen immediately. As soon as you stop getting stuck in hyper vigilance, manifestation of negative and threats and problems. When you. As soon as you remove yourself from that cycle and come up above it and just observe the things that were leading your mind into making that your reality, it starts flipping instantly. Like I said with the couch, less than 12 hours, have the brand new fucking thing sitting right in the living room. But the next thing on my list of what I do, so say it out loud. Observe what you're feeling. Say it out loud. You're activated. Normal friction. Great. Then I comfort myself, I down regulate myself. And I do that first by grounding into reality. Now, like the analogy with the heater, the water heater, okay, got activated. Noticed I was 25 steps ahead. We're gonna get the fishing hook out, hook ourselves and reel our mind back in to the physical reality here and now. Like with the couch too. What just happened? I had a desire for a couch. I didn't even look yet. So why am I freaking out? Just that. Just the observation and grounded into the reality of right now. What is happening? Nothing. I'm safe, I'm good. I'm chilling. Comfort yourself. It also helps a lot if you say this out loud to yourself, like how I just did. Like you say, if you hear you fine, you could. You know what I mean? But next on my list is one of the biggest things. So when you're trying to comfort yourself and walk yourself back 10 steps ahead into the reality right now to try and bullshit yourself and think of positive thoughts, oh, this is gonna go good. Telling yourself that is bullshit. You're not gonna be able to accept it and you're not gonna be able to feel comforted by that. You're gonna feel like you are now against yourself, trying to delude yourself. So I can't just tell myself after I've panicked about being 10 steps ahead, like with the water heater. I'm gonna have to pay $20,000 to get everything fixed. Oh, my God. After living that for two seconds, become aware of it, snapping myself back into reality now. I ain't even looked upstairs in the attic yet. To say I'm gonna go upstairs and there's gonna be nothing wrong with it. It's gonna magically fix itself is stupid. There is no. Delude yourself with a positive thought. You're not a match to that. It's gonna feel like bullshit. So what I say is, I do not know how this will go that your brain can accept. To immediately say, everything is going to go great and positive. You're not going to be able to accept it. So just say something that your brain can accept. I just went down a road of 10 ways this could go bad. I'm aware of it. I'm not a match to that no more. Okay. You're safe from it. I actually don't know how this could go. There's a potential for it to go good or bad. Just reminding yourself and putting your awareness on the possibility of good is going to switch everything. Okay, so the next thing that I do, oh, this one's going to scare you a little. Embrace the uncertainty. Because when you get blindsided by something bad, it's easy to doomsday about it. But like I said, you're not scared of the dark. You're scared of what you think is in the dark. So remind yourself, I was just blindsided by bad. The possibility of being blindsided by good 100% exists too. So all the things you're worrying about, negative, that could happen. Let's not forget, blindside can work both ways. Getting thrown off your rocker, surprise, blindsided by shit. It can happen either way. So you have to embrace that. Like, it's not just, okay, there's a possibility for good. No, embrace it. I just got blindsided by bad. I can be blindsided by good, too, and start to expect the good. Start to expect things to get resolved. Because you have to embrace uncertainty for things to be fixed and situations to be rectified in ways you can't even imagine. You can't even imagine all the ways it can go bad. Your brain will try, but you're not practiced right now in seeing how things can go good. But that's what you have to open up to, is seeing how things can go good. There's an infinite amount of possibilities, and that is when magic happens in your life. I've experienced it and talked about it on my podcast for so Long. All the years I've posted this shit like you, you just hear the crazy synchronicities that happen for me and to my life when I'm negative. The amount of things that can go wrong, like it's so convincing of like okay, God or some higher power has to have their hand in playing this because no way. This is not calculated. The amount of bad that's happened, it's so detailed. The good will happen just like that once you embrace that and that's the most fun to experience. But your soul's there and your soul is gonna line up. You have to let your soul take the reins fully. And the next step on my list, my last step, is once you're down, regulated and you've kind of walked through all these steps that I just said. When you get the urge, like the true urge, not a fight or flight urge, but when you're just down regulating and you've stopped and you're letting yourself chill for a second and you divert your mind, you take it out of that negative spiral. That is when your soul will knock and give you an urge to do something or like a boost of energy or an idea for something if it needs you to participate in the physical reality. Your soul is orchestrating shit non stop for your best interest. When your soul needs you to do something, you will know it's not going to be anxious, it's not going to be a nervous wreck, it's not going to be fight or flight mode. True aligned action is only going to come after you've down, regulated, stopped, flipped, your mind, reminded yourself of the positive experiences are also possible. And saying you're going to sit there and wait to be guided to them. Because if you take actions out of the paranoia and the fear and the worry, that's what will manifest. So when you sit down for a second, you're like, okay, I'm going to wait for my soul to ping me for an action that needs to go toward the wanted experience of how this can go. You sit there and you wait a second and then you do that. You don't take actions out of a doubt. And the fear and the worry, trust me, been there, the done that. And it's small too, it's little things. I hope I did a good job of explaining this because I get it and this is how it's all kind of played out for me. But you're never alone. As much as you've lost sight of everything. I'm. I'm talking to myself a few weeks ago right now, as Much as you've lost sight of everything, you're feeling exactly how you're feeling because you're meant to. Your soul is here for you. Your soul is stopping you. Your soul wants you, you to get on board with it. It's ready over here. Superhero ready to knock itself out. To make sure you get what you want and to make sure life goes good for you and to make sure you get your desires. You're feeling the way that you are because you are out of alignment with your soul energy that is trying to improve your life. Stop resisting it. Fix your brain. Get on board and trust it. Yeah, Jeanette. That's all I got to say. I got that loud. This is a long episode, huh? If you made it this far in the episode, leave a blue heart emoji. I want to see who made it and hung out all this way. Also leave me a comment, let me know what you thought. And I want to say thank you to everybody who bought merch and bought sunglasses when I just relaunched. I've. I didn't post last week because I've been in the warehouse fulfilling OID's. There was like 3,000 something. Me and my sister. It was just me and her. We did nothing but fulfill. Had a blast with it. Oh my God, it was so much fun. Like, yeah, it was a lot of fucking work, but a lot of awareness hit me like a lot of this stuff. And I appreciate you guys support so much. Thank you. A lot of you already gotten your stuff, but a lot of stuff's already on the way. If you haven't got already, you got a tracking email. Okay. If you ordered, check your email. You got the tracking already because I shipped that. Okay. If you would like to shop anything, I'll put the link in the description leoskeepercollection.com that's where you can get my stuff. But that's it. That's all I got for this episode. Thanks for hanging out. Love you so bad. I'm proud of you. I feel like we're both on a good track now, and I hope this episode helps some people. A lot of people say that I saved their lives, but this one, I feel like I'll understand it because I just had to save my own life with this. So, yeah. My gift to you. Love you. Everybody be safe, take care of yourself and I'll talk to you guys next Sunday.