Niecy Nash-Betts on Confidence, Career Hustle & Unexpected Love

Summary

Podcast Summary

Baby, this is Keke Palmer

Host: Keke Palmer
Guest: Niecy Nash-Betts
Episode: Niecy Nash-Betts on Confidence, Career Hustle & Unexpected Love
Date: March 17, 2026

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Episode Overview

This dynamic episode sees Keke Palmer sit down with Emmy-winning actress and multihyphenate Niecy Nash-Betts. They dive deep into Niecy’s journey — from her comedic upbringing and dramatic career turns, through navigating Hollywood on her own terms, to her unapologetic embrace of love and authenticity. With the warmth, humor, and honesty that both women are known for, the conversation explores learning from hardship, believing in your own magic, the importance of sisterhood, and saying a bold “yes” to unexpected love.

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Key Topics & Insights

1. Resilience, Family, and Survival

• Mexico Cartel Scare (01:30–04:30): Niecy recounts a harrowing family birthday trip in Mexico locked down due to cartel activity, showing her quick thinking and refusing to lose joy in adversity.
  • "Do your best to keep your peace but never let a circumstance take your joy." (02:25, Niecy)
  • Memorable moment: Smuggling food back for the family via a creative, hilarious run-in with a tipsy couple at the hotel bar.

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2. Astrology & Knowing Oneself

• Niecy’s Birth Chart (04:40–05:45): A fun discussion about her Pisces sign and being born under Venus, which she says is why her life’s mission is love.
  • "My soul's mission is to help people love better and fuller, girl, so it all makes sense." (05:08, Niecy)
• Affirming Her Identity: Keke notes Niecy’s consistent, loving energy — a trait longstanding in their personal friendship.

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3. Self-Esteem, Company You Keep & Dream Manifestation

• On Self-Belief and Manifestation (09:00–10:25):
  • "You believe what the Most High has written on the canvas of your imagination." (09:02, Niecy)
  • “Say it til you see it... I hate when people say ‘aspiring actress’ — stop right there...Confess it, walk it out. Little steps towards your dreams is still progress." (09:12–09:55)
• Building Self-Esteem (10:35–13:10):
  • The importance of positive circles, confronting trauma bonds, and recognizing when to grow apart from old relationships.
  • Notable: "Ain't no lifers like the real ones. Some people are a reason, a season, or a lifetime." (12:24, Niecy)

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4. Early Inspirations & Comedy as Survival

• Starstruck Encounters (13:17–15:10): Niecy recalls being awestruck meeting Billy Dee Williams and Diahann Carroll.
  • “She walks right up to my face and goes, ‘Darling, do you know where you are every evening?’” (14:38, Niecy)
• Comedy, Family & Tragedy (21:31–24:02): Niecy shares how making her grieving mother laugh after her brother's murder revealed to her that comedy was a gift and a balm.
  • “Laughter is a gift. Not that it completely heals you but it’s a balm…Don’t be a selfish heifer. There’s other people out here suffering, go out there and spread this around.” (23:11, Niecy)

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5. Navigating and Owning Hollywood

• Auditioning for Whoopi Goldberg (33:28–39:29):
  • Her first big break was gutsy; Niecy didn’t know the ‘rules’ and fearlessly asked producers if she got the part on the spot—and then, while filming with Whoopi and Drew Barrymore, even corrected a scene’s dialogue.
  • “Stop. Timeout! Who am I to call cut?...But it just seemed like the most obvious thing to do.” (37:54, Niecy)
  • Whoopi’s response: “You go, girl!” (38:26)
• On the “Meantime” and Manifesting:
  • "From the dream to the manifestation is the meantime — and the meantime is mean." (15:37, Niecy)
  • Exemplifies persistence and resilience in the face of obstacles.

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6. Industry Lessons & Craft

• Training vs. Nepotism (29:15–30:42):
  • Niecy reflects on studying theater and the value of craft over shortcuts or instant fame: "I don't have to rely on tricks, or rely on gimmicks. I had to put in the work."
• Confidence vs. Naivete (46:49–47:46):
  • Niecy describes always being comfortable in her skin and never talking herself out of who she knew God made her to be.

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7. Mentorship & Sisterhood

• With Keke on Scream Queens (49:24–51:31):
  • Mutual admiration flows as Keke recalls watching Niecy improvise with skill and ease, serving as a masterclass in comedic performance.

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8. Diversifying and Staying Hungry

• Producing, Reality, Drama, Comedy (52:59–56:34):
  • From Clean House (which took seven months to land after her last child) to multiple recurring roles and Emmy wins, Niecy stresses the value of staying open and hungry: “There’s always something new to uncover in my art...So many things I could have played that I haven’t.”
  • “I found out through other actors that I had a nickname I didn’t know: Niecy 'the Range' Nash.” (55:48, Niecy)

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9. Taking On Dramatic Roles & Systemic Storytelling

• Working with Ava DuVernay (58:03–59:13):
  • When They See Us was emotionally heavy; Ava provided counseling for the cast.
  • “It’s the only job I’ve ever done where they had counseling available when you got off work.” (58:57, Niecy)

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10. Unexpected Love & Coming Out

• The Love Plot Twist (60:41–74:51):
  • Niecy shares falling in love with her wife Jessica Betts, a relationship that grew from deep friendship into life partnership, surprising even herself.
  • "I want this person to be in my life when they throw dirt on my face. I want you to find me in every lifetime." (66:20–66:53, Niecy)
  • On labeling her sexuality: "My daughter made me watch [a whole thing]...so what are you? And I said, 'Black and yo mama!'" (73:27, Niecy)
  • Defines herself as “just sexual, J-E-S-S”, always loving who loves her.

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11. On Love & Keeping Relationships Alive

• Keeping it Spicy (75:10–77:02):
  • “You have to be intentional. You have to know that keeping the connective tissue is not an option.” (75:10, Niecy)
  • From after-work bubble baths and slow jams to the importance of making your partner feel custom-loved: “You don’t give people what you want to show them how to love you — you give them what they require and trust they’ll do the same.” (76:34, Niecy)

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12. Closing Game: “Niecy, What Happens Next?” (78:30–83:05):

• Keke gives Niecy real-life scenarios (e.g., someone crying at brunch, #grouptrip money drama) to see how she’d handle them. Niecy is always direct, loyal, and protective of her joy.
  • “If someone says you’ve changed—I’d say you haven’t, and that’s the problem.” (81:43–82:28, Niecy)
  • "I don't loan or borrow. I give. Because I still wanna love you." (80:32, Niecy)

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Notable Quotes by Timestamp

• "Do your best to keep your peace but never let a circumstance take your joy."
  — Niecy Nash Betts (02:25)
• "Say it til you see it...Confess it, walk it out. Little steps towards your dreams is still progress."
  — Niecy Nash Betts (09:12–09:55)
• "From the dream to the manifestation is the meantime — and the meantime is mean."
  — Niecy Nash Betts (15:37)
• "I want you to find me in every lifetime. That's how much I don't want it to be over."
  — Niecy Nash Betts (66:53)
• "You don’t give people what you want to show them how to love you — you give them what they require and trust they’ll do the same."
  — Niecy Nash Betts (76:34)

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Episode Highlights & Memorable Moments

• Hilarious hotel food heist involving a drunk couple (03:52)
• Unscripted showmanship at her first Hollywood audition (34:37–36:33)
• Standing up to Whoopi Goldberg on set, advocating for authentic dialogue (37:53–39:29)
• Recounting the sweet, serendipitous way she fell in love with her now-wife Jessica Betts, including recognizing the turning feelings at a crab dinner (63:49)
• Defining love, authenticity, and constantly uplifting others with fierce warmth and humor throughout

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Closing Thoughts

Niecy Nash-Betts’ story is one of resilience, joy, and living "out loud"—from overcoming pain and loss, to holding fast to her dreams, to finding and celebrating love anew. The conversation is a masterclass in confidence and authenticity, embodied by Niecy's unshakeable self-belief and Keke's open-hearted hosting style.

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For listeners:
This episode feels like a vibrant celebration of Black womanhood, personal power, the art of hustling with heart—and the beauty of choosing joy, over and over, no matter the plot twists.

Transcript

[Niecy Nash Betts]

Hey, y'.

[Keke Palmer]

All. Today's guest is an Emmy award winning actress who has always known exactly who she is. From Reno 911 to Klaus, from Ava DuVernay's when they see Us to Ryan Murphy's Monster. And now all's fair. Her resume is long, and her range is undeniable. But beyond the credits, she chose love in 2020 in a way that felt like a plot twist written just for her, showing us that bold, authentic joy looks good on a grown woman. There is no stopping Niecy Nash Betts. And today we're getting into how she built this life, how she stands in it, and how she keeps it real. And what better place to do that than right here? Cause, baby, this is Keke Palmer. No matter what we doing in the car, just chilling pop on Amazon music, sit back and listen. Life, love, sex, science, covering it all, especially the bad. Cause money always evolves no matter what it is. We gonna make it make sense. Nothing else to do but kick it with the homies and kings. So grab you a drink and a snack, you enjoy? And get into the vibe that only one know it's your girl, Yeah. Please welcome to the show one of my favorite people, Niecy Nash. My girl. And I knew you was going to come upstage me on my own show.

[Niecy Nash Betts]

What are you talking? You look amazing.

[Keke Palmer]

Body is.

[Niecy Nash Betts]

Baby. My girl.

[Keke Palmer]

So happy to see you. Ru.

[Niecy Nash Betts]

Hi, toots.

[Keke Palmer]

Okay, so wait a minute. You were just in Mexico with the cartel stuff. Girl, they had you locked up in the room.

[Niecy Nash Betts]

Zoinks.

[Keke Palmer]

Zoinks.

[Niecy Nash Betts]

It's definitely giving.

[Keke Palmer]

Zoinks. Were you scared or were you kind

[Niecy Nash Betts]

of like, I'm gonna be all right? Like, um, you know what made me nervous was I was there with my family, all my children. My mom was there. And the thing that gave me the most pause was their reaction. Because you wanna feel like all of these people are out here for my birthday, and the next thing you know, you know, this happens. And so there was some in tears, like, oh, my God, you know, you had some that just, you know, were a little shell shocked, like, what is happening? You know what I mean? And I let each of my family members bring a friend, you know, Fabulous. And that turned into, I need to call my mama. You know, it was just a lot going on.

[Keke Palmer]

I need my mama.

[Niecy Nash Betts]

It was a lot going on.

[Keke Palmer]

I'm so glad you were safe, though.

[Niecy Nash Betts]

Me too. And I, you know, the main was keep the. Do your best to keep your peace but never let a circumstance take your joy. So we had to pivot, because we were supposed to go on a boat excursion, and we couldn't go because we, you know, had to stay shelter in place. And it was like, okay, well, what's the plan B? You know what I mean? And family talent show. You know what I mean?

[Keke Palmer]

Family talent show is everything.

[Niecy Nash Betts]

We were, you know, getting low on food where we stayed. We said, oh, well, you know what? There's a W that we could get to in the golf cart. Let's go over to this hotel and try to get some rations and bring them back to our spot. And the W was so mean to us, and they didn't want to let us get anything. They didn't want to help us out, you know? And we snuck in. We snuck in. We snuck in through the back. And when we snuck in, we found a couple at the bar. We didn't go to the main restaurant. We found a couple at the bar who wanted to swing y'. All. So. No, not y'. All. No. However. Well, what room are y' all in? Where's the party? Right? Where's the party? What room are y' all in? We get the room number. We order everything that we need to take back to the house to their room, because we're not guests.

[Keke Palmer]

Yeah, yeah.

[Niecy Nash Betts]

And then we say, no, we wanna pay for it in cash so it wouldn't be on their bill when they check in.

[Keke Palmer]

For sure. For sure.

[Niecy Nash Betts]

You know what I mean? You gotta make it work. You gotta do what you gotta do. It's very thoughtful.

[Keke Palmer]

It's very cutesy, very demure.

[Niecy Nash Betts]

Yeah. And it was like, oh, you know, maybe next time, you know, thanks for the food. And we got out of there, and they were so drunk, they didn't even know that we ordered all the stuff to their room.

[Keke Palmer]

That is so crazy.

[Niecy Nash Betts]

So we paid for it, and then we were able to take food back home to the kids.

[Keke Palmer]

Oh, my God.

[Niecy Nash Betts]

And shout out to the couple.

[Keke Palmer]

Shout out to swingers. They're so nice. I really do love that. Do love that.

[Niecy Nash Betts]

Some of the nicest.

[Keke Palmer]

Okay, we're safe. We were fed. Family's good. And you had a great birthday.

[Niecy Nash Betts]

I had a great birthday. I'm still going to have a party, period. So I will send you.

[Keke Palmer]

I'm about to say, girl, you know, I need my invite.

[Niecy Nash Betts]

I will send you the deed. Yes.

[Keke Palmer]

Well, we got to get into this pre show pull up, because I'm excited to get into the signs of it all and just what's going on in your life? So what's your zodiac sign already? Knew Pisces. Yes, but your big three is Pisces, Libra. And what is Jupiter, girl?

[Niecy Nash Betts]

Well, your rising is Jupiter. Yeah. You know, I have my chart professionally done. What the hell do that mean? I'm a lover.

[Keke Palmer]

Really?

[Niecy Nash Betts]

Yeah. Like the hands. I'm a lover.

[Keke Palmer]

It got really. Because.

[Niecy Nash Betts]

Because I'm born under Venus. And so my. My mission, my soul's mission is to help people love better and fuller girls. So it all makes sense.

[Keke Palmer]

It's so funny that you're saying this because I know you, you know, and I was literally talking to the people when they're like, oh, you know, niece is coming on the show. We're so excited. And I'm like. One of the main things I said was she was somebody that always tried to make sure I kept believing in love. So that's why this is so funny, because that's you.

[Niecy Nash Betts]

When I got it done, I was. I was like, I feel seen.

[Keke Palmer]

Girl, that is so good.

[Niecy Nash Betts]

I just know who I am, you know? Yeah.

[Keke Palmer]

That is so. You're so loving you. You always have such a bright spirit around love. There's never. I've never seen you really in a negative way, even though I know you've gone through hard things in your life. Cause we all have. But you always just had such a deep belief.

[Niecy Nash Betts]

Yeah.

[Keke Palmer]

And it's really. I mean, I've leaned on it. I'm sure so many of your friends and family have as well. So this is.

[Niecy Nash Betts]

I mean, you know, I will pull up on you in a red. In a red carpet gown event and be like, you good? Everything all right? Come on, step to the side. Let me talk to you.

[Keke Palmer]

Yes.

[Niecy Nash Betts]

You know me, girl.

[Keke Palmer]

That's why when you're saying this, I'm like, that.

[Niecy Nash Betts]

Be real. It made so much sense.

[Keke Palmer]

Yeah, I love that. I love that. Okay. What are you most grateful for? For today? Life. Period. It's a blessing. Waking up, breathing.

[Niecy Nash Betts]

Yeah. And it always, for me means there's another chance.

[Keke Palmer]

Okay.

[Niecy Nash Betts]

It's another chance.

[Keke Palmer]

I used to think that as a kid, even though that's so dramatic. I don't know why I was such a dramatic kid. But, like, even at five years old, I would be so, you know, trying not to go to sleep, you know? Cause you wanna stay up, you got fomo. And then every time I wake up,

[Niecy Nash Betts]

I'd be like, I got another chance, another chance.

[Keke Palmer]

And that's literally how I feel still to this day.

[Niecy Nash Betts]

Amen.

[Keke Palmer]

A relationship or friendship non negotiable for you. Lying. I just hate the lying because I'M not the police. Why are you lying to me?

[Niecy Nash Betts]

Why? I don't get that.

[Keke Palmer]

Why do people do that?

[Niecy Nash Betts]

No. And I grew up with a mother who said, don't you ever steal nothing and don't you ever lie, you know? And it was just, like, ingrained in me, like, you know what I mean? And so even, you know, where you got to have the tough words.

[Keke Palmer]

Yeah.

[Niecy Nash Betts]

You know, when somebody is asking you what you think or how you feel. You know what I mean? Standing in your truth can feel very bold. Especially because I feel like we're socialized to cover our truth to make somebody else feel good. Yeah. In the moment. But how do you tell the truth in love? How do. How are we all satiated here? Because I'm not gonna go home and live. No lie.

[Keke Palmer]

Yes. The only time that I find, you know, because it'll be a moment where, like, your friend is like, what? How do you think of my look? And there's two things. First of all, I need to know what you're going for. Because if we're going for a crazy, kooky, fun, you've nailed it. If we're going for. If we're going for, you know, chic minimalism. I don't know. So it's like, I've always got to ask questions because it is that thing too, where it's like, when somebody's asking your opinion, it's subjective.

[Niecy Nash Betts]

Yeah.

[Keke Palmer]

So my true. You know, I always find myself with that. Where it's like, what are we going for? Before I give you the real deal,

[Niecy Nash Betts]

but also specifically as it relates to a love relationship, don't start lying because you go, you gonna piss me off. And here's the thing. The thing of it is, is that I just feel like so many people. If you just trusted that the universe is kind enough to send someone for whatever you got on the menu, then you don't gotta lie to keep somebody who doesn't wanna. What you got on your menu.

[Keke Palmer]

That's right.

[Niecy Nash Betts]

You know what I mean?

[Keke Palmer]

That's right.

[Niecy Nash Betts]

So it's just like when you lie over little things too. You will lie about anything.

[Keke Palmer]

Yes.

[Niecy Nash Betts]

And so I. Yeah. Lying in any relationship, I'm like, beat it.

[Keke Palmer]

Yeah. Come on, Michael.

[Niecy Nash Betts]

Yeah.

[Keke Palmer]

Let me have. What's a question you wished you were asked more in interviews. How do you make your dreams come true?

[Niecy Nash Betts]

Let's talk about it now.

[Keke Palmer]

How do you.

[Niecy Nash Betts]

Well, there's a few steps to the process. First of all, you believe what the Most High has written on the canvas of your imagination.

[Keke Palmer]

Yes.

[Niecy Nash Betts]

Ashley, how you see yourself? What was that dream that was implanted in you? You gotta believe that first. Because this is why I often say it's not called Mama Esteem and them esteem and us esteem self because ain't nobody got to believe it but you. So you gotta believe that thing, right? And then you gotta put belief into action, right? So what does that look like? Two things. One, you keep confessing it. You say it till you see it. You understand? I hate when people say, I'm an aspiring actress. I always say, stop right there. And I'm ask you, what do you do again? And I want you to confess very boldly. I'm an actor, I'm an actress, I'm a this, I'm a that, I'm a butcher, a baker, a candlestick maker, whatever it is, confess it, right? And then walk it out. What does that look like? You know, you're not going to become the thing that's implanted in your, in your subconscious or conscious by laying in a hammock and eating a hot dog. You got to get up. You got to get up and do something. And little steps towards your dreams is still progress. Yes. So every day do something.

[Keke Palmer]

I love that. And it's so important when we go back to the beginning of what you said with the whole self esteem because I think that's the biggest thing that we must feed in order to even follow some of those steps.

[Niecy Nash Betts]

Yeah.

[Keke Palmer]

And I know I have more questions here, but just because we're here, I want to ask you what are, what are some self esteem builders that will help people to even get to those other few steps that you were talking about?

[Niecy Nash Betts]

Well, first of all, you know, you got to watch the company you keep, you know what I mean? Because everybody in your life is not for you, you know what I mean? Some people just come because they want to suck up your vibes and your energy. Some people come, you know, they beg so much their hands look like cups when they coming. Some people, you know what I mean? Some people don't want to see you win, but they just want to be around the people.

[Keke Palmer]

Yes.

[Niecy Nash Betts]

You just never know. And so you got to watch the people who you hang around, you know what I mean? And you know, you know, Sherry might. My, my best friend is Sherry Shepard. So example, if Sherry said something that was down about herself, I would. Then my response would be watch your mouth and watch what you say about my friend. My friend is not that. Have a glass of act right and get it together. Now repeat what you just said. You Know people who will put a battery in your back and encourage you. So you gotta be around like minded people.

[Keke Palmer]

Yeah. You know, that's really important, too, because I've realized in my life sometimes, and I guess it's a human thing, especially if we don't also often feel like we've been recognized for what we've been through or what we've endured. But you can have people that absolutely love you, but the recognition that you have with them is based in your past hardships, and they can't move forward with you out of that. And so it's like, every time, it's like, okay, great. Thanks for recognizing that, but can we move on?

[Niecy Nash Betts]

Yeah.

[Keke Palmer]

Like, why do I have to. Why is our compatibility, our connection, only built off of.

[Niecy Nash Betts]

It's a trauma bond. Yeah, trauma bond. You can't. And the thing of it is, that is. Why? Just because you've known people for you. I just had this conversation with my spouse, so. And so. And so. And so was my friend for 20 years. The key word in the sentence you said is was because a person is not showing up the same way. It means you're either there for a reason, a season, or a lifetime. And the lifers are very special.

[Keke Palmer]

They are.

[Niecy Nash Betts]

And it doesn't mean that you have ill will for this person. It just means you've outgrown each other. And how come every time I come back from over your house, I feel drained? I'm exhausted.

[Keke Palmer]

Nothing has changed.

[Niecy Nash Betts]

I'm tired. We still talking about this bum for years and years, and you haven't left yet. It's like, girl, stop asking me what I think.

[Keke Palmer]

You don't care.

[Niecy Nash Betts]

So it's like some of those relationships, it's really true. You just gotta know when it's time to get off the ride.

[Keke Palmer]

Love that. Couldn't agree with you more. Who is someone you've met that made you feel starstruck? Oh, my gosh, girl. Billy Dee Williams and Diahann Carroll.

[Niecy Nash Betts]

It's old school. Now. Let me tell you something. Diahann Carroll and Claudine Honey, My favorite movie. It's definitely in my top five.

[Keke Palmer]

It's excellent.

[Niecy Nash Betts]

It's in my top five. And the thing about that is that, like, that was royalty. That was, you know, legendary. I mean, Diahann Carroll was Julia, you know, she was. She was all the things. And Billy Dee Williams in Mahomes, Mahogany and Lady Sings the Blues. Talk about it. And I, you know, listen, the universe was kind because I met them at the same time. Boom, boom. When I met Diane Carroll. I was at the. At a theater award something. And I looked up, and I've never been starstruck over anyone, but I saw that woman. Girl. I said, my God. Oh, Lord, she walking this way. I wonder who she getting ready to come talk to. And I looked behind me, and there was a wall. I said, she's still coming. Oh, Lord. And she. She walks right up to my face and goes, darling, do you know where you are every evening? And I thought it was a trick question. I said, yes, ma'. Am. I. I am at the center of my will as a black woman. Cause I know why the caged bird sings. That's what I said.

[Keke Palmer]

Anytime an auntie come up to you, you gotta say the right words.

[Niecy Nash Betts]

I didn't know what to say.

[Keke Palmer]

No, for sure.

[Niecy Nash Betts]

And she said, no, you're in my bedroom because I watch your program every evening. I used to host a home makeover show. And I'm like, I know that I'm supposed to know you, but, girl, you know me. I could not believe. And she floated away. And I was like, mm, mm, mm. Look at her.

[Keke Palmer]

You know, it's just amazing.

[Niecy Nash Betts]

I would. Listen, Listen.

[Keke Palmer]

That is just so. I mean, meeting Diane Carroll. I mean, Billy Dee Williams, it doesn't get much better than that.

[Niecy Nash Betts]

No.

[Keke Palmer]

What's the mantra you live by and why? Pull up. You used to. Oh, my gosh. You say that pull up all the time. Pull up, push through. Never look like what you went through.

[Niecy Nash Betts]

Never look like what you're going through.

[Keke Palmer]

Never look like what you're going through.

[Niecy Nash Betts]

Yep. Wow.

[Keke Palmer]

When did that become your thing? Because as. As long as I've known you, you've been saying that all the time.

[Niecy Nash Betts]

You know, when you tap into the call of your life, on your life, and you start making steps towards the thing, all hell breaks loose. Because that's the way the universe is designed. So the time you get the idea, the feeling, the dream is here. Yeah. Over here is the manifestation. And in between here and there is the meantime. And the meantime is me. It's there, right? Meantime is mean. And in that place, that's where you will try the. You know, the powers that be will try to break you, break your spirit, break your soul. Kill that. Kill that dream, kill that energy so that you never make it to the promise. Right. So when I realized that I want to act, and I'm going to pursue this thing, and this is going to be, you know, the thing that feeds my family, my soul, I'm going to go on these sets, and I'm going to be a light. And it's not just about me getting the job, but is who are you when you get over there? So when I realized that, all hell broke loose. Like where I would literally go to auditions where I had to be funny crying my eyes out the whole way there. Cause I had a huge fight and this happened and that happened and all the things, you know. And so I had to constantly keep telling myself, you push through and you don't look like what you're going through when you walk in there, wipe your face, get it together, you know what I mean? And go get the thing. And so I started that very early in my career.

[Keke Palmer]

That's some very positive self talk.

[Niecy Nash Betts]

Oh yeah.

[Keke Palmer]

And it's really, really powerful. I don't think we think about enough how we are speaking to ourselves. And it makes me think about even what you were saying earlier about you and Sherry or your friends and just people in your life. Like that positive self talk is what can get us through. Let's start at the beginning. So at 5 years old, you saw Lola Falana on TV and said black fabulous. And on TV, what did that unlock in your imagination?

[Niecy Nash Betts]

It all. Everything. I saw myself.

[Keke Palmer]

Yes. Cause you were fabulous.

[Niecy Nash Betts]

I saw myself, you know, and she was so glamorous. And I had seen black people on television before, but they didn't look like that. Yeah, I was like, what? You know, a new character has been unlocked. I was, you know, whatever. Whatever they doing now, the version of that then that's what I was doing. I was like, lord, I see myself. That's me.

[Keke Palmer]

Yeah. Because your energy. Were you like how you are now at five, were you always very like, glamorous? Cause I've never seen you not with a face beat. I've never seen you not throwing a look as long as I've known you. You've always been very deep. You've been very much a diva.

[Niecy Nash Betts]

Keke Lauren Palmer. Let me tell you where it began. I was in kindergarten and there was this boy and I thought he was so cute. I've been a lover, okay? And I came home and I told my grandmother, I said, because. Because I like him. But it's this other girl with the. She got long ponytails and she thinks she's so cute. She. But I think he like her. And my grandmother was like. She got what? My grandmother used to smoke a cigarette on a filter. So you got the long gold piece, then the cigarette. She said, go look in grandmama hair drawer and get them two ponytails out of there. She Ain't gonna be the only one with ponytails. And I'm like, wait, what? So I dig in the hair drawer, and I find these two clip on ponytails, giving you, like, more like Cindy Brady, like a corkscrew kind of long thing. She said, now, don't tell your mama I let you wear your good dress to school, and you better not get dirty. So I had on a purple velveteen dress, white socks, and she put a little piece of candy in your sock. You know, could have. Wait till they heart is, you know. I said, okay, put a candy in my sock. Have my white. I mean, my black panel of the shoes on. And I wore my rabbit jacket. See, back in the day, y' all don't know nothing about that. It was like a little patch where they got all the little fuzzy pieces off a rabbit and put it together and made you a jacket. So have my rabbit jacket on my ponytails. I go to school, my plan is a success. Okay? It's. It's movie time, story time. They're doing the thing. You want to sit by me? Yes. I pulled a piece of candy out of my sock. I'm like, he's. And now we clicking and clacking. We off to the races. I come back home, tell my grandmother, girl, we done cracked the code. So now can we do these ponytails tomorrow with a part on the side? Cause that's really gonna kill him.

[Keke Palmer]

That's gonna kill him.

[Niecy Nash Betts]

She said, girl, you can't wear this at school every day. I just let you do this one time. One time. Cut to. I go back with my little dumb braids. I go back to school. He end up back over there with the girl with the long braids. And I picked up a chair, threw it at her, and ended up in detention. Oh. And so here we are. But that was the beginning. Now there's hair everywhere. You get a wig. You get a wig, girl.

[Keke Palmer]

First of all, I love that your grandmama was your wingman.

[Niecy Nash Betts]

Yeah. Got me together.

[Keke Palmer]

Got you together. She said, this how you snag him?

[Niecy Nash Betts]

Always had a man.

[Keke Palmer]

Okay.

[Niecy Nash Betts]

You know what I mean?

[Keke Palmer]

I need to page out that my

[Niecy Nash Betts]

mother had a double mastectomy and was at the place getting dialysis. Oh, I can't keep them off me. All these fellas in here. So I got it honest. She was like, I ain't even got titties. And they.

[Keke Palmer]

All these fellas in here.

[Niecy Nash Betts]

Oh, me, I love that.

[Keke Palmer]

So you were born in Palmdale? You was raised.

[Niecy Nash Betts]

I really wasn't. I was born in la. I Don't know where. You hate this.

[Keke Palmer]

Palmdale.

[Niecy Nash Betts]

I live in Palmdale a long time ago, but I don't know how it got on my Wikipedia. Wikipedia. I don't live in Palmdale.

[Keke Palmer]

As a girl that grew up in Compton, she said, hell, no.

[Niecy Nash Betts]

Come on.

[Keke Palmer]

She said, no. Palmdale.

[Niecy Nash Betts]

Here.

[Keke Palmer]

No.

[Niecy Nash Betts]

Give me my shir.

[Keke Palmer]

Exactly at what point did you realize laughter wasn't just a personality, but something that also got you through your life?

[Niecy Nash Betts]

You know, I had always been funny, but I didn't know it was a thing because I got punished for it.

[Keke Palmer]

Interesting. Why would you get punished for it? You was just playing to myself.

[Niecy Nash Betts]

Cause I was like, you know, doing stuff in church.

[Keke Palmer]

Okay.

[Niecy Nash Betts]

And then I would get pinched or I would get talks too much on my report card. And my mother was like, well, what was you talking about? And I'm like, I was telling jokes, you know, she's like, get the belt. I got something that's funny. You know, so it just never. I never thought it was a thing.

[Keke Palmer]

Yeah.

[Niecy Nash Betts]

And then in 93, my only brother was murdered on his high school campus.

[Keke Palmer]

So sorry to hear that.

[Niecy Nash Betts]

Thank you. And my mother got in this deep depression, and she said, I'm getting in the bed, and I'm never getting back out. So I didn't know what to do, but I knew I could make my mama laugh. So I would perform at the foot of her bed every day. I would do characters and jokes and bits and, you know. And my mother went from laying down in the bed to sitting up in the bed. I got my peanuts and my water. Go on and get up there and do your rendition of things. I said, well, let me do my things. And then at one point, I went by there, and she wasn't in the bed. I said, mama, we're in here. I'm like, who is we? She's like, well, I went across the street and got the neighbors, Ms. Brown and Ms. So and so. And I told these people, you funny. Get that karaoke microphone and tell these people some jokes. Jokes. So while I was on the karaoke microphone telling the people the jokes, I heard a voice as audible as my own say that laughter is a. Is a gift.

[Keke Palmer]

Amen.

[Niecy Nash Betts]

It is a gift. Not that it completely heals you, but it's a balm. It's a sav. Then the voice said, niecy, don't be a selfish heifer. Now, that's how the voice talked to me. Say, don't be a selfish effort. It's some other people out here in the world suffering Go out there and spread this around, because I couldn't get a job in. In. Because I. When people told me I was funny, I got offended because the only thing I knew that it was connected to was being punished.

[Keke Palmer]

Right.

[Niecy Nash Betts]

So I was like, I'm sorry. I'm so funny. I really want to be. Cause I wanted to be a dramatic actress. Yeah. I didn't want to be funny, but when I stood on that thing and what came in my mind from that pain, your purpose will be be. And then I went outside and I said, my name is Niecy Nash, and I'm funny. And they say, yes, you are, little girl. Get on over here. And that's how I started working.

[Keke Palmer]

Oh, my gosh. Isn't that so interesting, the ideas that we can have for ourselves? Because obviously, you're an incredible dramatic actress as well, and we're gonna get to that. But it's interesting the way we think our entry points should be. We always get there, but, like, if we just will lean into what comes naturally to us, you know, it becomes so much easier. I also wanna talk about the Mavis Mothers Against Violence in Schools, because I know your mother actually experienced some domestic violence when you were younger, but, you know, you became a spokesperson for this foundation.

[Niecy Nash Betts]

Yeah, Mavis Mothers Against Violence in Schools. We started because my brother was killed on his high school campus. Okay. He got caught in a love Triangle at 17. And, you know, somebody brought a gun to school over a girl, and there you go. You know what I mean? Yes. So, you know, it wasn't like. It wasn't as a result of, you know, gang violence or, you know, him being robbed or, you know, he just, you know, probably got being a level from his big sister, and it, you know, unfortunately cost him his life. And I went around the country with my mother for many years advocating for safety in schools, and we did it for many years until it was just too painful for her to continue. She was just like. Cause every time I'm reliving it, every time, you know, so she. She just said, I'm ready to put it down. Yeah.

[Keke Palmer]

What did that teach you, if anything, about using your voice? I mean, I know the comedy was there, but also just. It really aligns with a lot of the work that you've continued to do and the stories that you've been able to tell, you know what I'm saying? And so I'm curious of how. Thinking about what you went and how that has then become something that you've expressed in later roles.

[Niecy Nash Betts]

Yeah. You know, you Know, but it's interesting because I probably do more privately than I do publicly. You know what I mean? So, yes, I will use my voice. I will use my platform, but I'm also the one who. He hit. You. Where are you? You gotta get out of there. And you. How long. When is he coming back? You know what I mean? And then calling my other girlfriends, who I know are writers, and I'm like, meet me at this address. Make sure your trunk is empty. We gotta get this girl, and we gotta get. And we got a short amount of time to do it. I'm not gonna go on social media and tell that. But I will go on social media and say, I'm advocating for the Innocence Project. I'm advocating for, you know, victims to be believed. I'm advocating for. But the. But the private ministry is more consuming than what you see in socials.

[Keke Palmer]

Yeah. You've ministered to me many times, so I know that to be so true. You also credit your mom for believing in your acting potential. How important is it, you think, for the adults in your life to really help you pursue or even just encourage you to pursue your dreams? Cause I've had that with my mom.

[Niecy Nash Betts]

But, you know, also, in the beginning, I was very shy. So when you have a baby that is uber shy, and you're like, I wanna be on tv, you know, it's like this girl, you know, go in there, sit down. Did you do your homework? You know, so I really had to stay my path and let everybody catch up. Yeah, it was like, oh, wait. You know, my mother used to work two jobs, and so I used to do these acting competitions, and she was never able to come because she had to work two jobs. And then I got into this one that said, you know, you could represent the state of California in this acting competition and go against other people in other states if you win. So my mama took off work. Okay, now that's a big deal.

[Keke Palmer]

Come on.

[Niecy Nash Betts]

You know what I mean? You nervous? You all right? No, I'm fine. I go up there and I do the thing, and I win. And my mother, she just saw me so differently, and she was like, wow, whatever I can do. And I come from a place where there was no entertainers in my family, no blueprint. We weren't child stars. You know, I had graduated from high school, you know, and my mother said, you know, I'm gonna do whatever I can. So what did that look like? Every play that I was in, she would come up there and bring food. She would make her famous Chicken. She would do this. She. You know what I mean? They need help making some props, you know, I can call somebody, you know, the man up the street like me, he makes stuff real good, you know what I mean? So, you know, she just really got behind it. You started watching my children for me so I could audition and, you know, but you gotta stay with it to let people know you serious about it.

[Keke Palmer]

Yeah, yeah, I agree. You studied theater arts at Cal State Dominguez Hill.

[Niecy Nash Betts]

Uh huh.

[Keke Palmer]

How did studying the craft you feel protect you in the industry that could sometimes be tearing at your confidence. Did studying the craft in school give you any substantial support outside of your experience?

[Niecy Nash Betts]

What I will tell you about that is that we are living in a age where people can just be plucked from obscurity because of reality tv. Right? You know what I mean? You got a gregarious personality, you know what I mean? He's slick and something to look at, you know what I mean, or whatever. And you can become quintessentially an overnight success. I feel like for me, studying was the best gift I could have ever given myself, because I don't have to rely on tricks, you know what I mean? I don't have to rely on gimmicks, you know what I mean? And my mother is the one who told me, don't lie when I said, you know, my mom doing all this comedy, but don't you think I'm a good dramatic actress? She said, girl, I don't, but you can be. So you find the best class in this town, and I'm gonna work overtime to pay for it. You understand? Yeah. And now she's Emmy award winning for dramatic role Niecy Naj Betts, you know what I mean? But I had to put in the work. It's just for me. I can't speak about anybody else's process, but I'm very grateful that I. That I went and I studied and I, you know, got it together and figured out what I didn't know.

[Keke Palmer]

You know, you worked with Whoopi Goldberg very early on in your career. I'm a Whoopi girl. I love Whoopi Goldberg. Down. And I'm so. I still have not gotten a chance to work with her. Whoopi, call me. But you told the story about having the confidence to speak up in a scene with her early on in your career. Tell me about that moment and what did it teach you about taking up space, especially being a newcomer?

[Niecy Nash Betts]

Well,

[Keke Palmer]

baby, this is Icy Palmer. Yeah. You know, your girl loves to travel some of my favorite trips have been with my fam to far off places like Rome. But this spring we're eyeing a more local spot like South Carolina because our non negotiables are delicious food and a beach where we can have fun but also get some much needed R and R. And when I'm planning where we're going to stay, I'm not only thinking about logistics like where is everyone going to sleep, but also how can I really experience the place I'm visiting. That's why I book a stay on Airbnb for family trips. We get to stay in neighborhoods where locals actually live and really connect with the city through authentic experiences. Plus, everyone can spread out with separate bedrooms like my son's. Bedtime doesn't have to be my bedtime. And we've got a real kitchen to cook some meals together if we end up staying in. It's also way more cost effective than booking multiple hotel rooms. We all get our own space, but still come together to create those genuine memories for that kind of trip. Hotels just don't give us what we need. Find a home for your next family adventure on Airbnb. You know what? I love when people show up with genuine intentions, Especially when it comes to dating. My girls and I were just talking about how the best connections happen when someone puts in real effort from the jump. And Bumble is definitely onto something because they're making it easy to find people who really want to get to know and date the real you from the beginning. Through features like Bumble compliments, someone can show genuine interest in something on your profile, like your love of cooking or that cute hiking photo. I see you boo all before you even match. That kind of meaningful connection changes the whole vibe. That's why it's the dating app my girlfriends use and trust. And let's talk about safety, because that matters. Bumble has photo verification and ID verification built right in. You can be at ease knowing the person you're chatting with is actually who they say they are. That piece of mind, it's a non negotiable. Ready to connect with people who bring the same energy as you. Download Bumble now

[Niecy Nash Betts]

let's talk audition first. Okay. So to even get the job, I was unemployed, had a little baby and I was breaking up. And I said, you know, I know what I'm gonna do. I'm gonna act. And it was. I had no agent, no manager, but I met a man at a workshop that said I was funny. So I called him, I said, you said that I was talented and I was funny. I said, be responsible for my introduction in Hollywood and hook me up, okay? And so he said, be down here at three o', clock, girl. I had on makeup out to here, hair down to my address. I look like a hot mess. And I walked in, and he was like, what is all of this? And I said. I said, I know, right? And he was like, wrong. Please go in the bathroom and wash your face and tie that hair up. And I was like, oh, did it. Went in and auditioned. I didn't know I was going into a producer session. Okay. And it was only for under five lines, so, you know, he slipped me in, right?

[Keke Palmer]

Yeah.

[Niecy Nash Betts]

So I read the two lines or whatever it was. The director said, send her back out and have her read this and this. It was too little. Say this little part. Say this little line. And so the guy says. He looked at me like. So he said, go in the hallway and. And work on this. I said, this little bit of stuff. I don't need to go in the hallway. I got it. He said, no, you can. I said, man, stop pushing me. I said, I got it. So the guy was like, ooh, if she's ready, let her go. I was like, yeah, thank you. So I say words. I say the second set of words. And he goes, thank you. And I said, that's the you got the part look. I said, you're welcome. And he said, thank you. And I said, don't mention it. And he said, thank you. You may go. I said, oh, y' all are dismissing me. Well, did you pick me? And he was like, wait, what? And I said, did you pick me? I told him, I'm broke, I got a baby, and I need a job. He said, someone will let you know, dear. I said, oh, my God. Let me know when, Niecy. First professional audition, girl. I said, let me know when? And he was like, honey, you have to leave. I said, you know what? I'm gonna leave. But let me tell you what my mama always told me. Everybody got a boss. So I'm telling on you, sir. And I'm telling on you. And I'm telling on you. And I'm telling on you. I say, I drove all the way from Compton. You gonna have me drive all the way out here, and y' all not gonna tell me if I book? Shame on all y'.

[Keke Palmer]

All.

[Niecy Nash Betts]

Cause I didn't know the process. See, why you gotta go to school and study, kids? Okay? So I had never had the professional audition. So when, right before I walked out, he calls the casting director over who is bright red.

[Keke Palmer]

Oh, my God.

[Niecy Nash Betts]

And he leans down and says, where did you find her? She's adorable.

[Keke Palmer]

Yeah, that. It was pretty cool.

[Niecy Nash Betts]

Kiki. I don't stop. I said, uh, don't try to get on my good side now. Y' all done already? It was a mess. So they ended up calling me for the movie anyway, in spite of that. And I got out there, and my scene was with Whoopi Goldberg. Oh, my God. And that time.

[Keke Palmer]

Tell me this movie.

[Niecy Nash Betts]

Boys on the side.

[Keke Palmer]

Boys on the side.

[Niecy Nash Betts]

Well, Drew Barrymore was in it. Mary Louise Parker. A very young and undiscovered Matthew McConaughey.

[Keke Palmer]

Oh, my God.

[Niecy Nash Betts]

And I.

[Keke Palmer]

And Niecy Nash.

[Niecy Nash Betts]

Come on. I was woman in the diner. And so I stay in the bathroom, and I come out, and I'm supposed to tell her words about her friend in the bathroom. And. Cause her friend was sickly and whatever the line was, Whoopi kept laughing. Cause it sounded really weird the way the words were put together. And so the director started getting frustrated. Cut. Come on back to walk. You know, all of that. And I was like, oh, Lord, I got in that bathroom, girl. And I prayed. I said, lord, don't please. I said, this woman, if she laugh one more time, I'm gonna say something. So I walk out the bathroom, I say the line. She laughs again. Kids, don't do this. Don't ever do this. This is what I did.

[Keke Palmer]

No.

[Niecy Nash Betts]

Okay, stop. Timeout. Who am I to call? Cut. Who am I? Who am I? I stopped and I said. And he said, what is the problem? I said, sir, I'm sorry, but she's messing up the scene because she keep laughing. Whoopi Goldberg looked at me and said, no, you didn't. And I said, yes, I did. They not gonna fire you.

[Keke Palmer]

You. So Compton with this.

[Niecy Nash Betts]

I was like, I sure did drop dime. And what?

[Keke Palmer]

Cause they about to cut my part.

[Niecy Nash Betts]

And he was like, well, what? Do what? He said, what's the problem? I take my gloves off because it's snowing outside. My prop gloves, long blue fingernails with Bengals bells, bows and everything. I was like, well, maybe in hindsight, maybe that's why they gave me the gloves, but took the gloves. And I said, the problem is. And he said, oh, wow, go ahead. People don't talk like that. And that's why she keeps laughing, because it's so weird. And he said, well, what would you say if it was you? I would be like, girl, is that your friend in the bathroom? Child, you better get in there. Cause she ended Up, Throwing up. He says, edith, we're changing the line. He said, you go say whatever you want to say. Whoopi Goldberg said, you go, girl. And I was like, okay. But it just seemed like the most obvious thing to do. You think I'm finna get fired? This lady got a bag of money and these cute locks. Girl, they not gonna fire you. So, yeah, I spoke up and will and always have.

[Keke Palmer]

And that is so good for any actor to hear, because it's really true, like, at your job. I think a lot of times as actors or performers, we go into a situation and like. Like, this is what it is, and I have to do that. But, like, also, they're looking for our expertise. Yeah, we are the performers. So when we look at the script and the lines and we're coming to the project, you know, it is our

[Niecy Nash Betts]

part of our job, and I don't

[Keke Palmer]

think we all often know that. To say, hey, this doesn't feel right. This doesn't seem true, you know, and we get nervous to challenge, but it's not challenge. It's actually doing your job. And so that's. I love that. Have you seen when the last. Like, how soon have you seen Whoopi? And younger?

[Niecy Nash Betts]

Yes, I've seen her several times when I go and I visit the View, and we just hold on to each other and laugh about that time, you know, it's just that kind of a thing. And she's just always been a dear, dear soul, you know?

[Keke Palmer]

Yeah.

[Niecy Nash Betts]

I love Whoopi.

[Keke Palmer]

I love her so deep. Okay, at your Walk of Fame ceremony, you said, this is just the beginning, not the ending. What did you mean by that? Cause you've already accomplished so much, but you do keep accomplishing so much more. What else in your mind? I mean, you maybe you don't know, but you're just like, honey, I'm here.

[Niecy Nash Betts]

You know, I felt like there is so much more to do.

[Keke Palmer]

Yeah.

[Niecy Nash Betts]

I mean, it's just more to do. More uncharted territory, you know, I didn't direct until after that. I. You know what I mean? I'm working on a second book. I mean, just so many things. So many things. Producing and, you know, all of the things. And so I just, wow, this is getting ready to be another chapter, you know? And mind you. Mind you, When I was 7, I was on 7 or 8 on the walk of Fame with my dad, and I run into Ed Asner. I didn't know it was. That was his name. My dad had to tell me. I said, I saw that man On TV before he was the boss of Mary Tyler Moore show or something.

[Keke Palmer]

Oh, I love the Meredith. Wanna make it get after all.

[Niecy Nash Betts]

And so I said, I know that guy from somewhere. And said, I walk up to him, I said, I know you don't know me, but my name is Niecy. And you know my name is gonna be right on this ground on one of these stars one day.

[Keke Palmer]

That goes back to what you said. You start here. The manifestation is there. Everything in the middle is the meantime,

[Niecy Nash Betts]

and you gotta say it till you see it. I said it at that age, and I never forgot that I said it. He was like, yeah, kids cram. And when he was walking away, I was like, remember my name? And I didn't know how long it was gonna take, but about 35, 40 years later, I end up on that walk of fame. I called that man and I said, I don't know if you remember me.

[Keke Palmer]

No, you didn't need to.

[Niecy Nash Betts]

He sure did.

[Keke Palmer]

He's still living.

[Niecy Nash Betts]

He said, I hope you. He said, thank God. He sent me a letter. I don't think now, but when I got the star, he was. But he said, I'm grateful that you didn't let a crotchety old man destroy your dream. Unfortunately, I can't come to your star, Sara. And he hand drew me a star, and he wrote my name in the middle of it. And I thought that was so sweet. And then the day before the ceremony, he called and said, I'll be there. I couldn't even look at him. Google it. You could look up pictures, Niecy.

[Keke Palmer]

That is the most special. These kinds of things. Let me just know that God is so real. Just because the design of the life, the architecture of it all, like, it can't be written by anything else other than that thing, that. That spirit, that. That name, because what the heck?

[Niecy Nash Betts]

I couldn't even look at him because my fake eyelashes was gonna fall off. I couldn't even look over because I was like, he's sitting right there. You know what I mean? Oh, my gosh. You know what I mean? That's so special. It's so special. I love that. I love that.

[Keke Palmer]

I mean, when we think about it, a lot of us think about it. Reno911 is like a big turning point in your career where everybody got that real glimpse of your comedy chops. We could at least know Niecy is one to watch. How did it feel for you during. When you got that role?

[Niecy Nash Betts]

Can we talk about it? Cause I lied my way into it.

[Keke Palmer]

I love that. There's always a gag or goop. This is a tv. We could do a whole TV show over Niecy Nash's life. And there's always a gag episode. It's giving me life.

[Niecy Nash Betts]

It's always a gag. So they called, and at first it was supposed to be sketch, and they were like, hi. I mean, yeah, we're just confirming you do sketch, right? I was like, psh, of course. And then I called my friend Big George. Shout out to Big George. And I said, what the hell is sketch? What do I gotta do? And so he told me what to do. Characters and bits. I said, oh, yeah, okay. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I didn't know that's what they called it, but, yeah, I can do that. So I get my little stuff together and go down there.

[Keke Palmer]

Characters and bits.

[Niecy Nash Betts]

Yeah. It was two other girls and me. One was stretching, one was doing vocal warmups, and I was sitting there reading the magazine. I said, well, should. What? Should I get up and do something? But they. The audition was running, running very long, and I got up and knocked on the door.

[Keke Palmer]

Oh, no, Niecy, this is.

[Niecy Nash Betts]

I have a habit of. Wait, now it's all coming back to me. It's a wonder I even work in this business. Okay, So I knocked on the door, and it was, like, about, I don't know, 12 people in a room, and three of them were produ. I don't know who they were. I just knocked on the door and I said, hey, excuse me. What time are y' all gonna get this dog in? Pony show stuff. And the lady really was upset. You know, she said, why are you in a hurry? I said, as a matter of fact, ma', am, I am. I gotta get my kids to Chuck e. Cheese by 7 o'. Clock. 7 o'.

[Keke Palmer]

Clock.

[Niecy Nash Betts]

Because the last time I got there late, they jumped on the mouse, the head came off, the man ran in the back. It was a show. I gotta get there on time. So they said, okay, well, go ahead and come in. I was like, thank you. I do my bit. What are the odds? I get a call back. So I'm, like, on my way back, I beg my mother to watch my children. I said, mama, I don't wanna be distracted, you know? So I go back and I walk in and I say, hi, you guys. You know, first thing they said, what happened at Chuck E. Cheese? Now I do a high five on Chuck E. Cheese. And then they said it was time for me to audition again. I mean, And I said, well, I didn't know enough to know that you need to workshop, like, bitch. I just have always been funny. So I felt like once I learned that how these comedy troops do it, I was like, oh, I didn't know that, but I knew I was funny. I said I could do the same thing I did last time, but I found this handkerchief in the back of my car. And on the way over here, I made up a bit called Carol the Slave. Y' all want to see that? I did not. Yes, I did. Come on, studio audience. We do.

[Keke Palmer]

We got it.

[Niecy Nash Betts]

I said, so I did Carol the Slave. I leave. My mother said, how did it go? I said, I think it was funny. I said, this white lady fell out of her chair and was beating her fist on the ground. Who that person I now know to be as Kerry Kenny, who played Weigel with the little dark hair. She played Trudy Weigel. And. And I got that job. And, you know, and I often say, I don't know that I was better than those two other girls, but I was very comfortable in my skin.

[Keke Palmer]

Yeah, well, that's what I keep hearing about everything. And I was gonna ask you, but I'm glad you brought it up. Like, would you say that it was just confidence or was it naivety? Was it you just being like, I can only be me? Like, where was that knocking on the door? Was it just like, you know, I

[Niecy Nash Betts]

feel like I just. I never tried to talk myself out of who I knew God made me to be. Never tried to talk myself out of it. You know, you need to be more like this or more like that, or you need to act like this and decorum and this and that. Whatever it all was, I just was like, you know, I believe that everybody is so unique. And what's your bit? And what's your bit? I don't need to borrow from your bit. Cause I'm already over here rocking and rolling in my bit. And when people would say, I'm so sorry, we're going another way, my honest reaction was, guys, I feel so sorry for you. That's right. Because I'mma be a big deal. You'll see.

[Keke Palmer]

Yes.

[Niecy Nash Betts]

You know what I mean? And I would just go on about it.

[Keke Palmer]

And as you continue to grow and. And what, I don't know, whatever people call learn more or elevate or just, you know, access different things coming to your mind. How did you make sure that. That, that. That Niecy Nash, that core of what you call as being you? How did you make sure it sustained

[Niecy Nash Betts]

as you blossomed into more, you know, you again? The People who you hang around, you know, will not let you get too. Your feet get too far off the ground. You know, it's like punkin. Not too much, right? Yeah, not too much.

[Keke Palmer]

Yeah. And they keep you grounded. Yeah, absolutely. Would you ever be open to a reunion episode of Reno911?

[Niecy Nash Betts]

Oh, I'm the reason why we keep coming back together every couple years. I email everybody twice a year like, hi, guys, let's put the band back together. Guys, I just found my old booty in the closet. Anybody y' all wanna go get drinks? As our characters? And I just keep putting it out there. I've said it on red carpets. I'm like, ah, can't wait till we get the band back together and every few years or so, we'll come back and find something to do.

[Keke Palmer]

I love that. What do you feel that your character, Rainesha, especially coming in and not even knowing much about that type of work, that sketch work. What did she teach you in terms of your comedic voice?

[Niecy Nash Betts]

Trust your gift. Trust it. Because now you're around all these seasoned people who have been in all of these high profile comedy troupes. You know what I mean?

[Keke Palmer]

Girl, that's how I felt with you on Scream Queens with you and Glenn.

[Niecy Nash Betts]

What are you even talking about? You mean me and Jamie? You and Jamie and Glen Powell? Oh, Glen Powell. Girl, you remember Glen Powell? Yeah, I love Glen.

[Keke Palmer]

Glen. Girl, watching you and Glen, I was in so many scenes, and I used

[Niecy Nash Betts]

to tell y' all this all the time.

[Keke Palmer]

And you would always look at me just how you always looked at me. Like, girl, you could do ain't no be, but I would be studying you. That taught me so much about improv on that show, because I was like, yo, this is an opportunity for me as an adult to really mature in what my comedic voice is, what it means to take chances. How do I understand improv and improving within the context of the situation? Not just saying something cause it's funny, but saying something that's true, and that's why it's funny. I would watch everything. We would be working on that show, Niecy, and it would be. They would never, ever, ever give her a note. And I'm not even kidding, guys. They would just be like, go. And they'd be like, okay, great, another one. And she would come up with something different each time that was still within the framework of the moment. And I just remember literally looking at you in complete and utter awe, just drooling. And I was like, niece, will you do this video with me? Online. Would you do this thing with me? Because I was just blown away by that, watching that skill. That is just, like, the best school that you could ever be in.

[Niecy Nash Betts]

Yeah.

[Keke Palmer]

And I was just. When I tell you I was soaking up every minute of Ms. Niecy Nash, that was the best time. You taught me so much. You really, really did. You know, just by watching you do you. And I would see you and Glenn going back and forth. He was the only one to keep up with you.

[Niecy Nash Betts]

Well, you know what? But you know how oftentimes people say you see yourself in someone definitely watching you on that set because, you know, you're working with a whole bunch of girls, and it's a lot of energy. And I remember that, like, your trailer was like, ground zero. You having a problem, and you having a problem. Come on in here and let's talk about it. And I was be like, you know what I mean? That's me. That's what I would have did. So. Yeah, you know, I think that that that energy is. It's a gift to many.

[Keke Palmer]

Yeah.

[Niecy Nash Betts]

Yeah.

[Keke Palmer]

I was happy that a lot of the girls could trust me, you know, that was nice. That was a good vibe about the show. It gave a very, like, you know, comforting sisterhood in moments. Let's talk about Clean house.

[Niecy Nash Betts]

Yeah. What was crazy was that I had just had my last baby. I have three children, and I begged their father. I said, you know, it was like, I had the baby six weeks later. He was like, it's time to go back to work. And I was like, wait a minute. I've given my body over three times to bring life in the world. If I could have nine months, just for me to just let me just see what I could do in nine months. And if at the end of this nine months, I don't make it crack, I'll go back to work. Yeah. Put my pinky up, twisted it and was like, boom, now the clock is ticking. And it took me about seven and a half months. I booked my home makeover show, Clean House. Right. Maybe about two weeks Later, I booked Reno911. And a week after that, I booked recurring on the Bernie Mac show as his sister, Auntie Beni.

[Keke Palmer]

And I loved.

[Niecy Nash Betts]

And I never went back to work.

[Keke Palmer]

I love the Bernie Mac Show. Rest in peace, Bernie Mac. I loved your character on there. It was great.

[Niecy Nash Betts]

Yeah. And so after that, never went back to work.

[Keke Palmer]

Wow. And then you won a daytime Emmy. That was your first time that you won an Emmy.

[Niecy Nash Betts]

Yeah. Producing that show. I loved it. Literally. I've Been out with it even now, trying to see if I could bring it back.

[Keke Palmer]

Well, you also had the one that you did with your family, which was cool that they now start pulling clips of the reality show that you had with Leave it to Niecy that now is coming up on Socials. How you feel about that girl? They're popping up.

[Niecy Nash Betts]

I know. I love the clips that just include me and my children. There were other people in my life at the time, and I'm like, oh, God.

[Keke Palmer]

Oh, my gosh.

[Niecy Nash Betts]

But I love that people are. They just started discovering it. You know, it's like, I was like, that show was so long ago, but it was a good time.

[Keke Palmer]

Yeah. But you've always been producing different. Diversifying and producing different things that I think, like, we could even say we're, quote, unquote, before their time. But. But in any regard, you've always been acknowledged for it. So you built a long relationship with Ryan Murphy.

[Niecy Nash Betts]

Yeah.

[Keke Palmer]

I mean, you guys have done multiple projects together. What do you appreciate most about that relationship, especially from a showrunner?

[Niecy Nash Betts]

I think that Ryan is so creative, and you never know, when he gives you a script, you know what it's gonna be. But most of the time, I've said yes to Ryan without a script.

[Keke Palmer]

Yeah.

[Niecy Nash Betts]

Yeah. You know what I mean? Many of us have.

[Keke Palmer]

Cause you don't know what. But you know it's gonna be something.

[Niecy Nash Betts]

It's Ryan, and you know it's gonna be good. You know, the one that I'm doing now, all's fair with Kim Kardashian, Naomi Watts, Glenn Close, Teyana Taylor.

[Keke Palmer]

Shout out Teyana.

[Niecy Nash Betts]

Sarah Paulson. Yes. You know, we love. So, you know, none of us got a script and all said yes.

[Keke Palmer]

Yeah.

[Niecy Nash Betts]

And then the script came later. So I just trust him. Yeah. I trust him so much when it

[Keke Palmer]

comes to getting to do more drama. Now, at this point, what did you. I mean, you. From the beginning of this, you said you always wanted to do drama. So what was it like to finally start getting roles? You know, the opportunity to play dramatic roles.

[Niecy Nash Betts]

Heaven.

[Keke Palmer]

Yeah.

[Niecy Nash Betts]

A blessing.

[Keke Palmer]

Yeah.

[Niecy Nash Betts]

But now I want back in. Cause they forgot I was funny. Keke. Now I gotta scrape up a comedy. I'm like, everything I look at, she's crying and dying. She's down and out. You know what I mean? Yeah.

[Keke Palmer]

Isn't that funny?

[Niecy Nash Betts]

I just was like, what just happened?

[Keke Palmer]

The industry is very much like that. Like, whatever you do the most of. That's why my mom used to always tell me, you don't let people tell you who you are. You tell them who you are.

[Niecy Nash Betts]

That's right.

[Keke Palmer]

And they'll believe.

[Niecy Nash Betts]

I love your mama, you know, because

[Keke Palmer]

we all from the same vibe, where it's like, at the end of the day, like, I set the tone. So it's like, if I'm being funny, then everybody's like, oh, if you're being serious, like, she's such a serious. It's like, what guys. Like, it's just a switch that you could turn on and off. And you've done, I mean, limited series, sitcoms, reality. You've anchored series. I mean, the credits are so long. What's the real art to not just booking, but becoming indispensable?

[Niecy Nash Betts]

Well.

[Keke Palmer]

Cause you are that.

[Niecy Nash Betts]

I found out through some other actors that I had a nickname I didn't know about, and they were calling me Niecy the Range Nash. You know, and I was so blessed by that. I know. I was so blessed by that, because to know that your peers can trust you.

[Keke Palmer]

Yes.

[Niecy Nash Betts]

Whatever your script, your project is, call me. You want it funny. You want a drama, you want a host, you want a this, you want. You know what I mean? All of those boxes are checked, and it just made me feel like, you know, a very blessed woman to know that my peers can trust me no matter what the genre.

[Keke Palmer]

Absolutely. I mean, 1,000% you are that person. How do you stay hungry when, I mean, you've accomplished so much? What keeps pushing you and what inspires you at this point in your career?

[Niecy Nash Betts]

Well, first of all, I'm expensive.

[Keke Palmer]

Okay.

[Niecy Nash Betts]

I mean, now let's get into that. I like things. I like to go places and eat stuff. No, I. The thing. The real reason is because I feel like there's always something new to uncover in my art. It's a million things I could have played that I haven't yet. You know what I mean?

[Keke Palmer]

Yeah.

[Niecy Nash Betts]

So discovering different parts of my art, whether it's writing or producing or finding a character that I've never played before, it all still tastes so delicious. I'm not over it. Yeah, I'm not over it. It. Yeah.

[Keke Palmer]

I feel the same way, too. And I always wonder to myself, like, will it ever come a day where I'm not, you know, engaged with it? You know, I don't know what that would look like, but I really still feel so passionate about my art. But I guess that's what it is to just be an artist. You know, whatever it is, across the board, I'm engaged. You know, I want to switch gears because I got to bring up Your performance and aver when they see us. I mean, that's very heavy, sacred work. Anytime we have to do something that involves, like, structural, systemic racism are, you

[Niecy Nash Betts]

know, and real people.

[Keke Palmer]

And real people. It can be really, really tough. That's how I did a movie, Alice. It wasn't a real character, but that experience had happened to somebody before. And just getting into the shoes of, like, our ancestors or what our community has endured, it can be really a lot. So how did you prepare yourself for that and being so in, you know, just invested in this story and concentrated amount of time.

[Niecy Nash Betts]

So with regards to when they see us, first of all, I love me some Ava DuVernay, but she really protected us and made sure that we had a very extensive bible on the whole story. The people that were still alive, we were able to meet. I called them the Exonerated Five, but we were able to meet them and you know what I mean? And that bit of it. So. And then we also was the only job I've ever done where they had counseling available for you when you got off work if you needed it. Wow.

[Keke Palmer]

Shout outs to Ava for that.

[Niecy Nash Betts]

Yeah. Because, you know, most of the time you just go home. Heavy. Yeah. You know what I mean? And.

[Keke Palmer]

Oh, my gosh.

[Niecy Nash Betts]

But she made sure that there was a number you could call and it was available for the run of. The run of the shoot.

[Keke Palmer]

That's amazing.

[Niecy Nash Betts]

Yeah.

[Keke Palmer]

Well, that was beautiful work. Incredible stuff.

[Niecy Nash Betts]

Thank you.

[Keke Palmer]

You know, but let's. Let's switch gears for a second and talk about how you hit us with that plot twist in 2020. And it's. Y'. All, I have questions about everything. What should I cook tonight? Is it jacket weather or am I overthinking this? Should I take that opportunity? And I've been using Claude. It's changed how I make decisions. Because here's the thing. Most AI just gives you information and that's it. Claude actually helps you decide, think things through fully and take action. Like when I'm prepping for guests or trying to figure out whether something I read is legit, I'll go back and forth with Claude and it won't just hand me some surface level answer. It pushes back and asks me what I mean. It treats the question like it deserves more than 30 seconds. I also love that you can now connect your health data to Claude through Apple Health. And when I'm trying to figure out if my sleep is off, Clawd helps me see the patterns. Try Clawd for free at Clawd AI Kiki Palmer and see why Problem solvers choose Claude as their thinking partner. We have to talk. Shout out to Jessica Betts. She's an amazing person. And, I mean, let's talk about what made you.

[Niecy Nash Betts]

What.

[Keke Palmer]

What brought this shift into your life and what made you publicly, like, be like, hey, y', all, this is what I'm on.

[Niecy Nash Betts]

Okay, here we go. So it wasn't anything that I was even thinking about. I was out of my marriage, and no one knew. I got divorced. Right?

[Keke Palmer]

Yeah.

[Niecy Nash Betts]

Or filed. And it had been months, and I was doing a project in Jersey. JB and I had been friends for 1000 years. A thousand.

[Keke Palmer]

Come on.

[Niecy Nash Betts]

You know we just been friends.

[Keke Palmer]

Yeah. No, I don't.

[Niecy Nash Betts]

You know what I mean? We just were friends for a couple years, and maybe like, four, four and a half. But I never thought about her as someone I would date. You know what I mean? But every time I came to New York, we hung out, we went to go do plays. Matter of fact, wait a minute. No. You was in Cinderella.

[Keke Palmer]

Yeah. I don't think y' all came. Sherry was in it.

[Niecy Nash Betts]

I know. No, I came to that, but JB and I, I think, went to Wicked. But neither.

[Keke Palmer]

That's fine.

[Niecy Nash Betts]

I saw you. She just didn't see you.

[Keke Palmer]

Yeah, yeah, I remember. You came.

[Niecy Nash Betts]

Yeah. So anywh. Who. We would always hang out. But I didn't even tell her I was there that time, because in my mind, I got confused. I'm not an east coast girl, so I thought. I don't know what I thought. She's like, are you in New York? I was like, no, I'm in Jersey. She was like, you're in New York? And I was like, oh, okay. But anywho. And we hung out, and it was just something that I did not see coming.

[Keke Palmer]

Do you think she was waiting on her chance?

[Niecy Nash Betts]

No.

[Keke Palmer]

So what happened about this time that you think it was just like. I guess the timing was right, that you started to see it with a different set of eyes.

[Niecy Nash Betts]

Okay. She said, I'mma pull up on you because you live so close to me. I'm on my way to see this girl, but I'mma stop by and see you first. I said, okay, great. Nothing unusual, Laughing, talking, catching up. And then I said, well, how long is your train ride? She said, well, I'm gonna be on the train for a minute. I said, well, did you eat Niecy? Now, you know what Grandmama said I wasn't on nothing. I understand that, but this is what happened. See, some people have the sauce, some people got the juice Some people are Niecy Nash and have both. And I don't even know what to tell you, because this is why I stay in a relationship, Kiki. Because they will stand out in front of my house like I'm with that boombox.

[Keke Palmer]

I need to know how. Cause they throwing rocks at mine.

[Niecy Nash Betts]

No, girl, get from over there. So I don't know. I'm like a honeybee. I don't know. Anyway, made her some food, sent her on her weight. Still didn't think anything. Yeah. Next thing you know, I was walking out the door to go get some crabs. She called, where you going? What you doing? What type of time you want? I said, I'm going to get some crabs. I want crabs. I said, okay, well, meet me at the spot. She was late. I was already a cluster in. Okay, I'm not waiting on you.

[Keke Palmer]

Cluster in is crazy.

[Niecy Nash Betts]

Cause it's not a date. So when she sat down to order her crabs, and now we just talking over some crabs, I saw her with fresh eyes.

[Keke Palmer]

It was when she was eating them. Crabs. That'll do it.

[Niecy Nash Betts]

Airtime. In the words of Cardi B, airtime. But no, my stomach started getting hot. And I'm like, that only happens when I like boys. Why is my stomach hot? What's going on here, Guys? It's gone out. And so I had to. I was like, first of all, this is a woman, and it's my friend, right? You know? And I was like, why is my stomach hot? It was betraying me. I was like, I don't understand what's happening. So I needed to try to figure it out. So I tried to keep it going. I didn't know she had a date that night. She was gonna go see somebody after we had dinner, but I didn't know that. And so I said, well, I'm about to go back home and watch one of my favorite movies. You wanna come? Cause I wanted to see if the heat in my st was gonna die down, girl.

[Keke Palmer]

First of all, what did y' all watch?

[Niecy Nash Betts]

Sparkle. But let me clarify. Okay, let me clarify the original.

[Keke Palmer]

Yeah, that's. Yeah.

[Niecy Nash Betts]

So Irene, Kara, Philip, Michael, Thomas.

[Keke Palmer]

Very dramatic.

[Niecy Nash Betts]

No hunching, you know what I mean? None of that was happening in the movie for sure. We just watched the movie, and my stomach was hot as a firecracker. Pop, pop, pop. And then it was time to go. And she didn't go. Well, I walked her to the door, and she turned back around, and then I hugged her, which was not unusual. I kissed her on the cheek, which was also not unusual, but my tongue slipped out a bit, And she looked at me and said, wanna go lay down, Kiki? I've been laying down ever since. Cece, this is amazing. I was like, what is my life?

[Keke Palmer]

What is my life?

[Niecy Nash Betts]

The reason and the thing of it was, it wasn't a secret, but it was private because we were trying to figure it out. Because I ghosted her shortly thereafter. Because fix your face.

[Keke Palmer]

You started asking yourself, like, does this mean I'm gay type thing?

[Niecy Nash Betts]

No, I said, I want this person to be in my life when they throw dirt on my face. What that mean? When I'm dead and gone, I want you standing right. That's how long I want to know you to the dirt. And if I did something that messed up the friendship, I will never forgive myself.

[Keke Palmer]

Yeah.

[Niecy Nash Betts]

Like, I don't want this to be something. And now, you know, we not.

[Keke Palmer]

And you had love. And it's been, you know, over. So it's like, when you've experienced it, I don't want it to.

[Niecy Nash Betts]

I don't ever want you to be over in my life.

[Keke Palmer]

That's right.

[Niecy Nash Betts]

I want you to find me in every lifetime. That's how much I don't want it to be over. And I definitely don't want to do something to lose you in this lifetime. Because what if I don't find you in another one? Like, you know? And so that's why I left, because I was like, I need to go back to protect the friendship. Cause I would rather have you for the rest of my life than love you right now with losing you.

[Keke Palmer]

That's true.

[Niecy Nash Betts]

That's what I wanted in a moment. And I couldn't stop thinking about her. It was just no way around it

[Keke Palmer]

now was she reaching out?

[Niecy Nash Betts]

And you were every day, three times a day.

[Keke Palmer]

And you would just kind of put wedge of the distance.

[Niecy Nash Betts]

Good morning. Hope you have a beautiful day. Crickets. Good afternoon. Hope your day going well. Nothing. Good evening. You all right? You good?

[Keke Palmer]

Grand Rising. Coming next.

[Niecy Nash Betts]

Huh? Okay. And I just was like, mm, mm. And then one day she texted me and said. The text simply said, I will never hurt you. And I texted back and said, come see me. And that was that. On that, she said, I'm coming. And then she came. And that was that. On that. And so when the world found out about us, it wasn't like people got a chance to see us dating or see our. You know, see how we came together. We didn't get caught out here, there and everywhere and pictures of us and da, da, da. Da, da da, da. And we got married in Covid.

[Keke Palmer]

Yeah.

[Niecy Nash Betts]

So, you know, by the time the world found out about it, I was married.

[Keke Palmer]

Yeah.

[Niecy Nash Betts]

You know what I mean? And we just popped out.

[Keke Palmer]

Well, I just love how you owned it, because I think a lot of times, especially if no one has ever thought about am I fluid or am I bisexual or, you know, sometimes entering that new framework, it can be nerve wracking for people. But you, from the moment on were like, love is love and I'm ready to show it. And I think that was so empowering to see.

[Niecy Nash Betts]

We were in a grocery store and I broke down and cried like a baby. She's like, what's wrong with you? I said, I just wanna hold your head while we walk to the grocery store. But it would've exposed our relationship to something that when we were still trying to figure it out.

[Keke Palmer]

Yes.

[Niecy Nash Betts]

We didn't. We were like, can we. You know what I mean?

[Keke Palmer]

How are we gonna deal with the fact that I'm a huge star and now everybody's gonna be in our business? And again, you're not new to relationships, and you know how that can impact it. Yeah, we know how that can. When everybody doesn't know how it feels for other people to say you're in that person's shadow, even though that's not the reality. That's just what the world can sometimes do, because they put entertainers on this pedestal and they act like we're the end all, be all, when we're not. That's not how my life exists. My family doesn't treat me like I'm geeky.

[Niecy Nash Betts]

Wrong.

[Keke Palmer]

You know, your kids don't treat you like Niecy, you mama, you know, and so it can be a lot for a partner to step into. And so you're protecting them.

[Niecy Nash Betts]

Honestly, with this thundercat, that was the least of my concern.

[Keke Palmer]

What a blessing that was.

[Niecy Nash Betts]

Because she knows exactly who she is and is flat footed in it. You know what I mean? So that wasn't what I was worried about. And I wasn't worried about the public. Now you have people in your life who are like, oh, Lord, you can't. You have to keep this in a dark corner. And I'm like, who, honey, What? Beyonce say this love on top, it's too good. I wouldn't want to hide this light under a bushel. And I'm not finna live my life like that. I'm not gonna love nobody in the shadows. Baby, you gonna get this thing right out loud. And people were like, oh, you didn't act like that when you was married before. And I'm like, no, I did. Just nobody cared. Now you in my business, you know what I mean?

[Keke Palmer]

I've always been really open with love. Yeah.

[Niecy Nash Betts]

And I'm like, like, you know what I mean? I don't do anything to give you something to talk about. I do it because that's how I feel. That's what I'm committed to. And this is, this is, you know, this is my bag.

[Keke Palmer]

I mean, how have you continuously been able to keep yourself open to love? I think about me and you. Right on, Rodeo. We're in. What is that place that had that good ass chicken sandwich. I wish I could say the name, remember the name. I forget the name of the spot, but it's right there on Rodeo Drive. We went there, we're eating and we're talking about love. And you just all you said, I don't remember everything word for word. But you always talk about envisioning the love that you want. You are always encouraging me to just, you know. Cause I've always been so career focused and I think it was not always on my mind. I would always say, you know, it'd

[Niecy Nash Betts]

be great to have a partner.

[Keke Palmer]

I'm into the vibe. But it was always so secondary. And I remember you holding my hand and said, keke, you have to stop talking like that.

[Niecy Nash Betts]

And because I tell you this, I know what I told you, your do is not your who, little mama. I know exactly what I told you, what we do for a living. You know, I do this, I do that, I am wearing all of these hats. But we were created to love. To love and be loved and be of service. That's the primary. Them, the top three. The rest of this, all of this other shiny stuff, we doing great. But the greatest call on your life is to love be loved and be of service and get in all the way into it.

[Keke Palmer]

But how do you know that your love and be loved isn't your family and your kids? How do you know that? And this is not just for me, but this is for anybody watching, right? How do you know that it's in the cards for you to have that romance that sweeps you off your feet? How do you know?

[Niecy Nash Betts]

Kiki, I'mma say something to you. Now you wanna you. Now you think about it. And you could pick any one of them at that highest point of love where you just look at them and your eyes be like, that's me right there. When you feel that thing when they call you on the phone, and your heart skip a beat when you, when that text come through, when you down and out. And that's just exactly what you needed. That's how you know that's how you

[Keke Palmer]

know and you know it's coming.

[Niecy Nash Betts]

And I look and I love my kids. I love them as the day is long. But that wasn't gonna be enough. Enough, baby. I left they daddy. I put on the tightest spank I could find. I put grease on all they face and said, get in the car. They said where we going? I said to fire you a new daddy. Mama got needs, get in the car cuz I'm gonna get it. You understand what I'm saying? And now, because I've never, I really admired that. I always have believed. Now here's the thing about the most high. There's always something you didn't see coming.

[Keke Palmer]

Yeah.

[Niecy Nash Betts]

You know what I mean? And JB is my thing I did not see coming. How we feel about each other, how we express the love, how we love each other. I knew that, that, that wonderment. I knew that that connective tissue was going to exist in my life. I didn't know it was going to be in that being. And let's talk about a label for a second because my daughter made me watch this whole thing. She was like, mom, what are you? And I was like, what? She said, how do you identify? And I was like, what are you talking about? So we watched this whole program and Gen Z and they walked through all names of the this isn't that you, are you this? Are you that? And at the end of it she was like, so what are you? And I said black and yo mama. I don't know, you know what I mean? Because I tried to see. Does that mean I like this type of person and I really can't see anybody else. I like. I literally. And so sometimes I lovingly or jokingly say I'm just sexual J E S S Because I don't really know because. Cause I can't even take someone into my eye gate. You just don't do it for me. I'm not even looking at you going, oh, he's cute. Oh, she's cute. Oh, they're cute. I don't even see you cute with this thundercat standing next to me.

[Keke Palmer]

I live for Thundercat. I live for the Thundercat of it.

[Niecy Nash Betts]

All of it all.

[Keke Palmer]

I love that and I really do feel you because at the end of the day, I love who loves me.

[Niecy Nash Betts]

Uh huh.

[Keke Palmer]

You know, I love who loves me. And that's Who I love. And that's. That's it on that?

[Niecy Nash Betts]

Yeah, that's that on that.

[Keke Palmer]

That's beautiful. Now, I do wanna say that I know I have to leave soon, but I just wanna say. Cause I live for this. And I always ask any couple, this. You know, you talk about keeping the marriage spicy and playful. Mm. How do you do that? Is it like date? Are you into the date nights? Are you guys taking trips? Like, what in your mind keeps the longevity of a relationship?

[Niecy Nash Betts]

Well, first of all, you have to be intentional. Okay. You have to know that. That keeping the connective tissue is not an option. So even for people like in our industry, I might work a 12 or a 14 hour day and not pull up into that driveway till 10, 11, 12. It could even be later if you work a Friday, you know, like a Friday into a Saturday morning. But like, you know, I was working with the gals, the show that I'm doing now with Ryan, and they were like, everybody was ready to go home and so tired. I'm like, well, well, it's 10 o'. Clock. I got a date in 30 minutes, so I gotta go. You know, that's it. And it was like at 10:30, I'm like, yes. So now I worked all day and I go home and why my spouse did this, I have no idea. She put bubble bath or something in the Jacuzzi. So we got martinis. It's bubbles everywhere. Luther Vandross is playing. I'm like, I love my life. I walk in the backyard taking my clothes off. You understand me? Let's get to it. So there is an intentional way of being. And that's not even like going outside spending money. That's just staying in the house and making sure you lock in.

[Keke Palmer]

Just do something special for me.

[Niecy Nash Betts]

Yeah.

[Keke Palmer]

You know, thoughtful.

[Niecy Nash Betts]

And the trick to it all is making the person that you love feel like they're experience with you is custom and not off the rack. I'm just. That's just the way I am. Is the biggest lie ever been told. You don't give people what you want to show them how to love you. You give them what they require and trust that they will in turn do the same. Know what I mean?

[Keke Palmer]

Yes.

[Niecy Nash Betts]

Yeah.

[Keke Palmer]

That's love. Definitely. Trust.

[Niecy Nash Betts]

Come on. Yeah. Come on, somebody.

[Keke Palmer]

It really is. I want to quickly touch on you reuniting with, with Cedric the Entertainer and my girl Jennifer Lewis, who's also gonna be on the show on Big Age.

[Niecy Nash Betts]

Big Age.

[Keke Palmer]

Congratulations. I mean, what brought you to this project?

[Niecy Nash Betts]

Kenya Barris called. Oh, Shout out Kenya and was like, hey, you know, I've got this project with Said and Jen. I would like you to be a part of it. And I'm like, I love the stuff you put out. Yeah, let's go. And I played Cedric's wife for five years on a TV show, so that was a no brainer, you know? And I've always been a dear, dear friend of Jennifer. You know, when you talk about loving people in private, you know, I was one of the first people with her in her home when she had the accident where she fell and broke a hip and all of that stuff. You know, I never talked about going over there and braiding her hair, making sure this and making sure that, because at that time she had not told her story. You know what I mean? But that's this one person who I've always just loved, had so much love for in my heart, but we never had a chance to work together. Yes. So even though this is an audible series, I still like being in the studio with her. She's just a hoot.

[Keke Palmer]

She really is. She's just special.

[Niecy Nash Betts]

Yeah.

[Keke Palmer]

Again, she's like a person that I think has paved the way for so many of us. So I just live live for her down. All right, it's about time for me to let you go.

[Niecy Nash Betts]

But we could do this all day, all day.

[Keke Palmer]

Because it ain't nothing but two girls kicking back.

[Niecy Nash Betts]

They better be glad this is tea and not tequila.

[Keke Palmer]

Okay, we're gonna play a game called Niecy. What happens next? Okay, I'm gonna give you a situation.

[Niecy Nash Betts]

Why do I feel nervous?

[Keke Palmer]

Because you know you're gonna tell the truth. Okay, okay. Just a regular, everyday scenario, and you have to tell us what happens next.

[Niecy Nash Betts]

What happens next?

[Keke Palmer]

Okay, here we go. You show up to brunch and someone is already crying.

[Niecy Nash Betts]

What happens next is that I say move back. All y' all move back. What happened? Talk to me. Huh? Sorry, sir, can you give us a minute? That's me talking to the waiter. Can you give us a second? Oh, my God. Do we need to go in the bathroom? Okay, I'm gonna get down to the bottom of it.

[Keke Palmer]

Okay, next one. Someone hangs up on you mid argument. What happens next?

[Niecy Nash Betts]

More than likely, if I'm in an argument with someone, it's because I love you, like, as a person. So I'm passionate. I'm fighting for whatever I'm fighting for in the moment. And I'm calling you right back and don't answer it and see what you get. Answer the phone. And what they gonna get if they don't answer it? They know what they gonna get.

[Keke Palmer]

Okay, the group trip payment is. Is short $500 and no one is responding.

[Niecy Nash Betts]

First of all, those aren't my friends. That's not my group, okay? Because my group is woman enough to say, I'mma have to sit this one out or I'm not gonna go this time. I'm not gonna. You know what I mean? I don't play games about money with friends. And if. And if. And if I love you and I got it. You got it. So what are we talking about? Use your words. Mm.

[Keke Palmer]

Yeah.

[Niecy Nash Betts]

You know what I mean? And I don't loan or borrow.

[Keke Palmer]

Yeah.

[Niecy Nash Betts]

I give. Because I still wanna love you. And I don't want it to be a situation if you don't give it back. I've learned that before we going on that damn trip. Go ahead.

[Keke Palmer]

Your friend asks you to third wheel with them in their book again.

[Niecy Nash Betts]

If I'm really good friends with both of them, I don't really mind it. But if I'm more. You know, if I'm really only really locked in with one of them, I'm gonna say, have a good evening. And y' all enjoy yourselves.

[Keke Palmer]

Yeah. Cause why do we gotta sit up always all together like that?

[Niecy Nash Betts]

Cause I could be at home rubbing my feet together watching tv.

[Keke Palmer]

What y' all do.

[Niecy Nash Betts]

Y'.

[Keke Palmer]

All. Y' all don't like doing what?

[Niecy Nash Betts]

Y'. All. Y'. All. Yeah.

[Keke Palmer]

Okay. You send a long, thoughtful message and get K back.

[Niecy Nash Betts]

I'm picking up the phone.

[Keke Palmer]

I love that you're ready to pick up the phone at all.

[Niecy Nash Betts]

You good? You know, I'm old school. People don't talk on the phone no more.

[Keke Palmer]

No, I don't. No, no, no, no, no, no.

[Niecy Nash Betts]

I'm not finna go back and forth with you and have my thumbs numb trying to text you. I'm not doing it. No. Hello. You good? We good? Yeah.

[Keke Palmer]

It happens.

[Niecy Nash Betts]

It happens. Pick up the phone.

[Keke Palmer]

Okay, the last one is, someone says you've changed.

[Niecy Nash Betts]

What happens next? I would say you haven't, And that's the problem. And that's we haven't elevated at the same time.

[Keke Palmer]

That's so bad. I was just talking about that this morning when I was getting ready. Like, I am so uninterested in the whole recognition and relationship building based off of the past, who you were. You people gotta move with you. And if that means you gotta leave them behind, well, then, sayonara, you know what I mean? And I'm praying for you and I

[Niecy Nash Betts]

look every now and then, check on

[Keke Palmer]

your little page to see if you have you made any movement. And either way, I can't deal with it.

[Niecy Nash Betts]

No, listen. And it's okay, you know? You know what I mean? Because we should both. What we should be doing is sitting up here going, girl, we didn't change. We used to be this. We used to be that. Look at us now. Look at us now. I was just talking to my party planner about this because he said, let's just take a look back. We used to throw your parties back in the day on a Wednesday or a Thursday because that was the night you could get the club for free because nobody was in there. And I said. He said, look at you having a party on a Friday and a Saturday night. I'm like, you know, you should grow together. Yeah. So I've changed. You're right. And you haven't, period.

[Keke Palmer]

Niecy, I love you so bad.

[Niecy Nash Betts]

I love you down. Thank you, my girl, for coming on the show.

[Keke Palmer]

My girl.

[Niecy Nash Betts]

Yeah,

[Keke Palmer]

Niecy, where do I even begin? You stepped into this space with that undeniable joy, and let us see just how beautiful life can feel when you choose resilience, commitment to love, and have the boldness to live the life you deserve. You didn't just give us the credits. You gave us the courage behind them, and we honor you for that. Niecy Nash Betts, thank you for stopping by the podcast. And y' all already know. We'll see you next time on Baby. This is Keke Palmer. Baby, this is icy palma. Yeah,