← Baby, this is Keke Palmer
Baby, this is Keke Palmer
Overcoming Loss Through Humor with Alexandra Madison and Jon Bouffard
00:47:54
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- [00:05]
Keke Palmer
Hey, listeners, Today's episode is One for the Heart. I've got your favorite husband and wife duo, Alexandra Madison and John Buffard, in the house. And let me tell you, their story is one of love, loss, and resilience. These two have been through it, but instead of letting grief tear them apart, they found a way to stay united and even bring humor into their healing. How do you laugh through your tears? How do you hold on to each other when life feels impossible? We're gonna talk through all of that, so grab your tissue, maybe your favor, feel good snack, and let's get into it because, baby, this is geeky Palmer, no matter what we doing in the car, just chilling, pop on Amazon music, sit back and listen. Life, love, sex, science, covering it all, especially the bad. Cause money always evolves no matter what it is we going to make it make sense. Nothing else to do but kick it with the homies and kings to grab you a drink and a snack you enjoy and get into the vibe that only wants, you know, it's your girl. This is Kiki, baby. This is Kiki Palma. Yeah. Yeah. I'm excited to talk to these two, mom, because, you know, I love dark humor. You know, me, you know, your whole family, me, Larry, L'Oreal, Rennie, Thinker, we all love to get into it. Even when there's dark times, it really pulls us through. So I'm excited to talk to this couple because they've been through a lot. You know, they unfortunately lost a child, so.
- [01:25]
Alexandra Madison
Sorry.
- [01:26]
Keke Palmer
Yeah, yeah. This past year. And it was tough, but the way that they dealt with was very in the open, and humor was a big part of how they dealt with their grief and a part of their, I think, probably their personality and just their kind of jovial state in general. Yeah, humor is healing.
- [01:42]
Alexandra Madison
It can be very healing. Yeah.
- [01:43]
Keke Palmer
And so I literally wanted to talk to you a little bit about that. Like, what role has humor played in your life? You know, because you're very funny, but you're also very funny in a crass way. Like, you just, like, tell it like it is. You know what I mean?
- [01:54]
Alexandra Madison
Like, someone once said that I tell it like it is with religious overtones or undertones.
- [02:01]
Keke Palmer
I don't know.
- [02:01]
Alexandra Madison
Whatever. Yeah, I don't know. I just think you have to find the humor in things that you just can't explain. You know what I mean? You know, you can sit there and cry about things, but sometimes you just have to just go, wow, that really was fucked up. Let me see. How did this happen? And you just Kind of find the humor in it. I mean, your dad and I both have been able to find the humor, you know, in many different things that has happened to us. And, you know, those were some of the best times when we didn't have money or, you know, we were going to Little Caesar pizza or. You know what I mean?
- [02:40]
Keke Palmer
Yeah. So, yeah, I feel the same way. I feel like so much of my personality, you know, I think I often joke that everybody's personality is a defense mechanism. And I feel like so much of my silliness, my goofiness, the, you know, just kind of like my. Just my attitude overall is a. Is a survival. When I think about how sensitive I can be to life and how actually crazy life can actually be, the way that I deal with it is through humor. That's why I am that kind of person, is because I feel like that's the best way to deal with life. Some of the moments that you could think about your greatest grief, whether it was humor or not, how did you get through them? What's kind of been your main go to?
- [03:21]
Alexandra Madison
Yeah, I just know that losing my mother was traumatic. And I just remember being at the funeral, and we were at the funeral, and we were at the grave site in particular, and we released the doves, you remember? And all I kept thinking was, when the doves shot up, they went into, like, a cross formation. Cause, like, they go up, and then the other doves cross. And we paid, like, maybe, I don't know, 350 bucks for those doves to fly up and do what they did for, like, 20 seconds. And all I could think of was my mother was dramatic like that, and she would have loved them damn doves.
- [03:59]
Keke Palmer
Oh, my God.
- [04:00]
Alexandra Madison
And then her first cousins, who she was always competing with, they were always in competition with each other. I was like, nah, bitches, we got doves.
- [04:10]
Keke Palmer
For the competition to still be going during the funeral is absolutely insane. Insane. Competing through death.
- [04:18]
Alexandra Madison
And I know my mother would have loved it because that's just who she was. She was married, that bitch. For real.
- [04:25]
Keke Palmer
And it was so funny. When you think about it, too, I feel like culturally, too, thinking about funerals, it always ends up being a gathering after.
- [04:33]
Alexandra Madison
Yes.
- [04:33]
Keke Palmer
I remember when I was a kid and we go down the south, you know, somebody passed away, a auntie, a uncle, or whoever it might have been. It always ended up turning into a family reunion.
- [04:44]
Alexandra Madison
Yeah.
- [04:44]
Keke Palmer
I feel like that is so sad.
- [04:45]
Alexandra Madison
That's the sad part.
- [04:46]
Keke Palmer
Yeah.
- [04:47]
Alexandra Madison
Because that's how some families, they only get together for, you know, Memorials or passings and things like that. But. Yeah, I mean. But that's what it's supposed to be, right? That's what it's called. You're supposed to celebrate the home going. So at least in our family and our culture, that's what we do. We celebrate the person going home because we choose to believe they're going to a better place. Right?
- [05:08]
Keke Palmer
That's right.
- [05:09]
Alexandra Madison
And we, the ones left here on Earth to deal with.
- [05:11]
Keke Palmer
I mean, Earth and anything. You're always gonna choose anything, right? Cause yeah, right. What have you noticed about other people dealing with grief?
- [05:22]
Alexandra Madison
Right.
- [05:22]
Keke Palmer
Because everybody deals with it differently. Like in your experiences, whether it be family or friends or even your children.
- [05:27]
Alexandra Madison
Yeah.
- [05:28]
Keke Palmer
What has grief taught you about other people and close relations?
- [05:31]
Alexandra Madison
Oh, wow. You know, I just think people handle grief differently, but in our family, we choose to handle it with laughter. My Larry, you know, and when they buried their mother, you know, a mother of nine sons, you know, they were laughing, they were hugging each other. They were proud of each other. They were like, she would've. You know, it wasn't sad. It was very honorable. But there was no tears like that.
- [05:58]
Keke Palmer
I feel like it's so funny because it is like an unspoken language. I think when it comes to grief, how to help people deal with it is so different. And I feel like with our family, even if sometimes we don't necessarily say anything.
- [06:11]
Alexandra Madison
Right.
- [06:11]
Keke Palmer
I think we've gotten better. Right. Over the years have come. I think our awareness as a family has been more like, hey, do you need anything? Is everything okay? But if I could think about it at its most premature state, even way back in Illinois, it was like, I'm gonna entertain you.
- [06:28]
Alexandra Madison
Right?
- [06:29]
Keke Palmer
You know, dad, I'm gonna cook for you. You know, or let's make a joke. Y'all wanna watch a movie? You know, there's always some level in which I think when it comes to our personal relationships, that we have to discover how this person best needs. And we come from a place of service, whether it's entertaining you, making you laugh, cooking you some food, putting on a movie.
- [06:46]
Alexandra Madison
Exactly. Like, remember we were at Christmas, we were all together for Christmas, and we watched the movie with Chris Rock. What is it?
- [06:53]
Keke Palmer
Oh, my gosh. Death at a funeral. Yeah.
- [06:55]
Alexandra Madison
That movie reminded me so much of my family and crazy things that have happened. Like when my father passed away, my older brother, he had got in front of the funeral and lay at the funeral. He had. He was high off or something. I don't know what he was.
- [07:13]
Keke Palmer
Oh, my God.
- [07:14]
Alexandra Madison
And he Jumped in front of it. So it reminded me of that one character who accidentally took the drugs and was out on the house naked. Okay. My brother, he jumped in front of the hearse and was started to lead the funeral, you know.
- [07:29]
Keke Palmer
Oh, my. Yeah, grief does make some people crazy.
- [07:31]
Alexandra Madison
You can do some crazy shit.
- [07:32]
Keke Palmer
Yeah. I can't even imagine what I would do.
- [07:35]
Alexandra Madison
I've been at funerals when people threw themselves on the casket and, oh, my God. Was trying to get the casket open. I've seen that disappeared.
- [07:43]
Keke Palmer
So what were they gonna do once it got open?
- [07:46]
Alexandra Madison
I don't know what the hell I was gonna do. Cause if they had got that damn thing open, hell to the no.
- [07:53]
Keke Palmer
Oh, my God, no.
- [07:55]
Alexandra Madison
I don't know. I've just seen all of that. I've seen, you know, they had to take people out and screaming and all this kind of stuff. And, you know. But I've also been to funerals where they were playing the Temptations music. Where they were playing, you know, Gladys Knight and the Pips. And it was like a Motown Review, you know, not Motown Review. So I've been to many different, you know, types of funerals. I remember the height of the AIDS epidemic. You know, one of my teachers passed away. He had died from aids. And I remember in that front row, it was. They play opera. And then I just remember his. I guess it was his partner. I don't know, but I just hear him. Remember him screaming my teacher's name. His name was Chet. And I remember him going, oh, Chet. Chet. And the opera was going. And he was screaming Chet. It was very macabre, I must say.
- [08:48]
Keke Palmer
That sounds macabre. That one took a dramatic turn. But Chet might have loved that.
- [08:53]
Alexandra Madison
Chet would have loved it. He was dramatic, like my mother.
- [08:55]
Keke Palmer
That's right.
- [08:56]
Alexandra Madison
That's right.
- [08:56]
Keke Palmer
Now, they would have loved it. Did you ever feel like in a moment. Cause obviously Alex and John are married with you and Dad. I mean, those are very close. When you're married, it's a very close relationship. Your grief is his grief. His grief is your grief.
- [09:11]
Alexandra Madison
Absolutely.
- [09:11]
Keke Palmer
How has that brought y'all together? Or in times, maybe not.
- [09:17]
Alexandra Madison
Oh, you know, it brings us together. Cause your father is a person of service. Meaning that he's always Johnny on the spot if you need anything. And anytime we've experienced grief, then he's always been a big support for me. You know, he's always been the person, okay, let's do this. You know, he's always cooking. He's always volunteering to do something, to help, to do something. So, no, I don't know what I could have done without him all these years in terms of just dealing with family stuff, you know, he is very funny, as you know. He always sees the humor and everything. Even when we're having a serious conversation, he's always the one dropping crazy jokes in the middle of the conversation. And I think that is how he deals with stress. Yeah, I think he deals with stress with humor. And I think you and he are very similar in that way. But I think you genuinely are a entertainer. You really just like to see people smile. You like to see people enlightened in some kind of way. You really do give yourself in that regards. And that's something that I watch, and it's very special. I wonder if you even know that that's, you know, what you're doing.
- [10:35]
Keke Palmer
Yeah, I mean, I love it. I love it for that reason, because I feel like. I don't know what else. I know that this. What I'm gonna say can sound sad, but it's not sad to me. I don't know what else I'm living for. I don't know how else. And that's maybe just who I am, and that's my makeup, and that's what I was meant to do. But for me, performing, letting it out on stage, whether I'm crying or going to a deep place for a character, or finding a humor in a hard situation, or just in general making people laugh, however, I'm breaking my neck to get that emotion across. To me, that's what life is about. And there's no better place to do that than on stage, you know?
- [11:07]
Alexandra Madison
And I don't think there's anything wrong with that. I remember talking to a guy who rode motorcycles all across the country, and he was very sad because he was telling me he wasn't gonna be able to do it anymore. And I said, why? He said he could no longer hold his motorcycle up. And I said, well, he said, well, you gotta have strength. And he said, I'm getting older, and I almost dropped the bike, and so I can't do it anymore. And he just says that the freedom that he had riding that motorcycle, he didn't want to do anything else. So to some people, that might sound crazy, right? But to him, that was his love. That was his passion.
- [11:45]
Keke Palmer
I think, for me, so much of that, you know, I am a very serious person. Like, inside, there's a very serious internal dialogue. And to me, life can be grieving. Like, the experience of life is grieving. And I think At a young age. I mean, I remember that time that y'all always talk about when I went to that cousin of yours funeral and I was 5 years old and I was screaming, crying. I didn't know that lady, you know what I'm saying? But I was screaming, crying over a lady that I didn't know.
- [12:10]
Alexandra Madison
Yeah, but you saw all of us crying.
- [12:13]
Keke Palmer
Well, I saw that how life can be, you know what I mean? I think because of. I don't know why I was like that, but at a young age I understood things so deeply and I just felt like, this is so tough.
- [12:23]
Alexandra Madison
Death is final.
- [12:25]
Keke Palmer
Death is final. But also like who you touch, family, friends. Like, I think I just felt the weight of that so early on. And for me, the way that I think I internalized it or how I figured out how to deal with that was through the arts. Like, I want to experience life through the fullest. I want to have. Feel all the emotions and be engaged. And also like, I don't even know how to explain it, but it just. For me that isn't. It is an escape. It is a freedom to explore those feelings.
- [12:53]
Alexandra Madison
Right now, being in the public eye as you are and how do you feel about sharing traumatic situations? And do you think that the world needs to know every damn thing about what you go through?
- [13:09]
Keke Palmer
I don't wanna waste people time. So I think that if I do share something traumatic, I have to be sharing it because I think that it could help someone else. Like there has to be a reason. It can't just be like doing it for sake or because I wanna explain. I don't feel the need to explain myself for things I'm very careful too of, like what gets me attention, you know what I'm saying? I don't ever want to be somebody that is using my life, my personal life experiences to receive attention from my work. Like, I feel like if I'm getting attention, I'm gonna be on a magazine or somebody's gonna write about me. I would love for it to be about my art and my craft. And I say that because we live in a very tabloid era, you know what I'm saying? So that sometimes the tabloid thing is the best thing, is the most important thing. It's hard sometimes to get a write up on. They just did a fabulous job. So I try to resist being put in that space because I don't know that that's valuable to people. However, if there are things that happen that I have an opportunity to talk about, then I will. And I think I'VE also had the great opportunity to be able to do some of those things in my art. Whether it's a character or a role that's given me, it's a vehicle that's given me the opportunity to speak to something or a topic that I think is important that may end up opening me up to share a traumatic experience, that's fine. Or if it's music, an album, a project where I speak and I say how I feel or I think and then I can discuss that further, then I'm fine with it. I just don't want to be somebody that is saying stuff just because I want there to be a takeaway, and I want it to be a good takeaway. So that means I also have to get my full thoughts around it. You know, I mean, I've grown up in the public eye, and I've said a lot of different things that once years went by, I said, oh, you know what? I was traumatized. So my experience or my thoughts on that was based in the fact that I hadn't even healed yet, things like that. So I really. And I'm not. I don't have regret for that. But I'm just saying is I take it seriously.
- [15:07]
Alexandra Madison
Yeah.
- [15:07]
Keke Palmer
So whatever I share, I need to make sure that I have a full thought on it so that I. Cause I don't want to hurt anybody. I don't want to lead anybody astray or make things more muddled up, you know, if I don't have to.
- [15:18]
Alexandra Madison
Yeah, I understand that. Definitely.
- [15:29]
Keke Palmer
Baby, this is. This is Kiki. All right, y'all. Today's guests are just the cutest. Okay? You probably know them from their hilarious sketches on relationship dynamics and the amazing advice podcast, Give it to Me Straight, that they co host together. Alexandra Madison and John Buffard, welcome to the show. Now, did I mess up your last.
- [15:49]
John Buffard
Name or did I go right?
- [15:50]
Keke Palmer
You actually did, because it's so fancy.
- [15:52]
Guest
So fancy. Thank you.
- [15:53]
John Buffard
Thank you for having us.
- [15:54]
Keke Palmer
Oh, my God. First of all, we were talking guys for, like, literally 15, 20 minutes before we started this podcast. I really, really live for them. They're just so cute and amazing. Thank you. And New Yorkers, period. Yes.
- [16:07]
John Buffard
Well, I feel like John, he's. I don't want to say wannabe, but you're new. You're new. Like, I truly feel like you, unless.
- [16:12]
Guest
You were born, you're the real one.
- [16:14]
Keke Palmer
You give New York Dad.
- [16:15]
John Buffard
He does.
- [16:16]
Guest
I'll take it.
- [16:16]
Keke Palmer
Yeah, he does. Yeah.
- [16:17]
John Buffard
It's a mustache.
- [16:18]
Keke Palmer
So, I mean, how have you guys been? You went Through a lot last year, you know, and so how you feeling coming into 20? I mean, you went through a lot personally, on top of society combined. We all, like. It was a lot, you know, all together. So how do you guys feel coming into 2025? What are the vibes?
- [16:32]
John Buffard
Yeah, you know, I would love to say, like, 2025, we could take it on, you know, bring it. But at the same time, I don't want to. I don't want to put that energy out there, because 2025 will be like, hold my beer. So I'm just like, come as you are, and we'll just see.
- [16:46]
Keke Palmer
It's like those memes where they're like, God, I don't want to be one of your strongest shows. No, no more.
- [16:50]
John Buffard
Enough character development from 2024. We're good. Just a better year.
- [16:55]
Guest
Let's just have a better year than 2024.
- [16:57]
Keke Palmer
Literally anything is better than 2024. You guys have really built a brand on exploring relatable tension in relationships. And what's really amazing, I think, is your ability to find humor and some of these very uncomfortable things that people don't usually talk about, especially in romantic relationships. We're watching you guys make fun of something really uncomfortable and then finding humor in it. And I'm wondering if that kind of dissipates the uncomfortableness around it for you.
- [17:23]
Guest
For us. I just. I mean, Alex comes up with all the skits. I'm like, just tell me. Tell me what you want me to do. But I look at it like it is like a therapy for us doing these skits, because if there is some sort of tension and we do it together, I don't know. It's just how we hash things out a little bit, too.
- [17:41]
John Buffard
I just. John is my muse. He does something, and I'm just like, we have to. He doesn't mean to be, but, yeah, definitely not. Is so entertaining on his own that I'll just observe him. And I'm like, this is content gold right here. So I'll make a more exaggerated version in a skip. But I would say that, yeah, it's kind of therapeutic in a way that you're putting something that is relatable out there in a comedic way so other people can feel connected to it and they feel seen.
- [18:08]
Keke Palmer
And I think it's really brave, honestly, and vulnerable, because you're talking about things that not only are relatable to all of us, but that are relatable to your personal relationship. So you're, like, centering your relationship in a way That I think does make other people feel easily to expose themselves. Like, girl, yes, you know, or oh, my gosh, my husband the same or my wife's the same. You seem effortlessly able to find humor in things. Was that always kind of the vibe of your relationship or is that what took over in your content creation?
- [18:35]
John Buffard
I think from the beginning of our relationship, that's why we were so drawn to each other, was because we just had fun. Like, I tell people this all the time. I'm like, we were. And we weren't friends first. We hooked up early on, period. But we.
- [18:47]
Keke Palmer
I know, that's right. Yeah.
- [18:48]
John Buffard
But we. We really developed a core friendship while we were dating and just be. We enjoyed each other's company so much. Like, there was always. It was always just fun. We made each other laugh from the beginning. And I think that that was one of the first things that obviously drew me to him was he was like, you make me laugh. And I was like, okay, yes, a.
- [19:07]
Keke Palmer
Funny girl is hard to resist.
- [19:08]
Guest
I don't think I'm funny at all. So that I think that's what makes.
- [19:11]
John Buffard
Alex think I'm funny is because you're so miserable sometimes that it is. There's just comedy in that.
- [19:19]
Keke Palmer
It's always comedy and people being authentically themselves.
- [19:24]
John Buffard
You're just so honest.
- [19:25]
Guest
And I can't be anything else, you know?
- [19:28]
Keke Palmer
Now, before you guys even start doing the content, how would you find. Would you be finding the dark humor in your relationship in real time? Was it like just something that naturally would happen where after a big fight would blow up? You guys are like, making a joke about it.
- [19:40]
John Buffard
Yeah, I don't. I mean, if you want to answer.
- [19:42]
Guest
No, no, go ahead.
- [19:42]
John Buffard
I was gonna say we also can't actually be mad at each other for too long. Cause we've always worked together. So before we did content, we had a business filming weddings. So we were wedding filmmakers. We also did, like, small business commercials.
- [19:55]
Keke Palmer
You guys are obs with each other. Oh, my gosh. Working together from the beginning is the cutest thing ever.
- [20:01]
Guest
We've learned a lot.
- [20:02]
John Buffard
You have to be so good at communication. And so our arguments. We really couldn't stay mad at each other long. It would just. Something would break the ice so easy, you know, like if he'd be like, what? What? Like, or just a hug, you know.
- [20:14]
Guest
Do like a five minute separation. Come back, come back. We do like a stupid look at.
- [20:17]
John Buffard
Each other, and then it just. It breaks it.
- [20:19]
Keke Palmer
And now you guys. So you say you started off kind of hooking up Was this while you were doing that wedding job or did the wedding job come after?
- [20:25]
Guest
So she was working for a wedding company.
- [20:27]
Keke Palmer
Ok.
- [20:27]
John Buffard
I was working for a wedding company. And then he was like, you're so talented behind the camera and editing. He was like, I will help you. Because I was like, I can't do it by myself. If he really encouraged me to go off and start my own business and then came along with me and then. Yeah, over.
- [20:42]
Guest
I knew nothing about filming, about editing, holding a camera. Like, she's had a camera in her hand since she was a kid.
- [20:47]
Keke Palmer
Oh, my gosh. She's the manifesting generator. You're the projector.
- [20:50]
John Buffard
100%. Oh, my gosh.
- [20:52]
Guest
Is that. What is that?
- [20:53]
Keke Palmer
It's a winning combination. Perfect.
- [20:55]
Guest
All right. Nice.
- [20:57]
Keke Palmer
I love this. Now, I'm curious. When you guys are doing this content, does it always bring you closer together or does it sometimes stir some shit up?
- [21:05]
John Buffard
Oh, my God. No. Yeah. No. Sometimes, yeah, we have to take a beat. But actually, one time, I always will think of this. We were doing a brand partnership for a company, and it was in store, and I don't think we could have been more mad at each other. I don't even know what it was about, but we had to. We were live, having to shoot in store on this day in this hour.
- [21:25]
Keke Palmer
And we had other people there.
- [21:26]
John Buffard
Oh, yeah. And we were like, we have to fucking. I don't know. Can I curse on here?
- [21:29]
Alexandra Madison
Yeah.
- [21:29]
John Buffard
I mean, we have to lock it up and get it together. So, yeah, we do have to kind of push through sometimes. But again, at the end of the day, it's nothing really that serious. Like.
- [21:37]
Keke Palmer
Yeah.
- [21:38]
John Buffard
You know, but yeah, we're normal. Like, we banter and bigger with each.
- [21:41]
Guest
Other, but we're together 24 7.
- [21:44]
John Buffard
Yeah, we definitely work from home.
- [21:46]
Guest
You know, we're shooting from home. Any work trip. We're together because we're both creators, so you really need to learn how to, like, work together. For sure.
- [21:54]
John Buffard
But we take our space, too.
- [21:56]
Guest
Oh, yeah.
- [21:56]
Keke Palmer
I love that. Now, just so you guys that maybe don't know, the videos, I'll repeat again. Like, they do all these really personal videos about what's going on in their life. Like, one of the recent ones you did was John being sick. And then you show, like, a fantasy of Alexandra pampering you, and then you show how she really is when you're sick. You know, kind of standing away, spraying disinfectant.
- [22:16]
Guest
Brutal.
- [22:17]
Keke Palmer
My mom did that to me during COVID and I cried. I stepped through the door and she sprayed me with Lysol. I was heartbroken. For some reason, that truly devastated me.
- [22:25]
John Buffard
Cause it's your mom.
- [22:26]
Guest
It's like, I'm like, you're like, where's the love? You're like. She's like, get away.
- [22:30]
Keke Palmer
Exactly. So is that kind of really what happens when you're sick? Is she really like, boy, bye.
- [22:36]
Guest
If I'm sick for longer than, like, five hours, she's like, that's enough. You're so, we're done.
- [22:41]
John Buffard
You're so dramatic.
- [22:42]
Keke Palmer
I live for we're done.
- [22:43]
John Buffard
Yeah, no, you're so dramatic, though. I feel like the man flu is such a thing where it's like, I'm sorry. Just again, women, we're great. We just deal with so much. I'm like, it is not that big of a deal. You act like you're dying.
- [22:55]
Guest
I didn't ask for any help. I was like, I'll just die on the couch.
- [22:58]
Keke Palmer
No one wants to hear you. Kind of like in the backyard.
- [23:00]
John Buffard
Exactly. Moaning, groaning and coughing and hearing your throat, shut it. You're fine now.
- [23:07]
Keke Palmer
Do you guys ever make videos making fun of the way you treat each other and then end up treating each other better as a result? Like, oh, wait a minute, do you actually feel that way? Like, do you learn something about the perspective that the other person has of you that you didn't otherwise realize?
- [23:20]
Guest
I'm never passive, like, aggressive about anything. So, like, in the moment, I'm. I'm going to tell you. And it's vice versa.
- [23:27]
John Buffard
If something is.
- [23:28]
Guest
I'm not creative enough to come up with a concept about how I'm feeling in the moment, I'm just going to tell you.
- [23:34]
John Buffard
I think in regards to our content that those are more, again, like comedy based, fleshed out concepts. The podcast, though, I would say, is really where we see each other's different perspectives on things because of the questions that we get asked from other couples. And he might have a different view than I do. And I'm like, oh, maybe that's why you act this way. Or, you know, it helps us.
- [23:54]
Keke Palmer
You kind of learn about each other outside of just this is my partner type of vibe, and this is how I deal with this person. But this is actually what they think.
- [24:00]
John Buffard
Yep, yep.
- [24:01]
Keke Palmer
Yeah, that seems really exciting. I have a lot of questions on that. But I do want to also ask about something that is really important that you guys went through last year, 2024. I don't want to be dramatic about it, but I feel like there's no other way to be Dramatic about you losing your child?
- [24:14]
John Buffard
Yeah, it was June. We lost him in June. We announced our pregnancy in March.
- [24:18]
Keke Palmer
And then you, you ended up losing the baby.
- [24:20]
John Buffard
Yes.
- [24:21]
Keke Palmer
That's just terrible. But you guys talked about it with your audience and even found a way to make videos, made this, that Dinks video, which anybody who hasn't seen it, y'all need to really watch it because it was so. It wasn't like, when I watched, I wasn't immediately like, haha. But it made me like, damn, that's funny. But damn, that's real.
- [24:40]
John Buffard
Yeah.
- [24:40]
Keke Palmer
Like it was really meaningful in the way that I. I love comedy to be like anybody that knows me. I feel like as an artist, comedy is one of the easiest ways to approach horrible situations. And I felt that that was so well done. So I wanna start with, like I said, I apologize that you went through that. And then also, how did you get to the point of even wanting to make a video about something like that?
- [25:04]
John Buffard
Yeah, I mean, I think for us it was such a dark time that it felt like we truly were never gonna come up for air. And when we did announce that we were pregnant, we did a dual income, no kids, a D where we had. Because we were very much known on social media for being a dual income, no kid couple. Not that we ever said we were never going to have kids. We just.
- [25:28]
Keke Palmer
That was just a vibe.
- [25:28]
John Buffard
Yeah, it was just a vibe. So the video that we did was there was like this fake person, this receptionist in the dual income, no kid office, and we were handing in our resignation and she goes through all the reasons as to like, why, you know, what we're gonna miss out on now that we're becoming parents and the things that we're gonna lose on Dinks, whatever. And people loved it because it's very relata. And then so when we lost our son and I could finally come up for air to breathe again, because I was like, I'll never find joy, I'll never laugh, nothing will ever be funny. But then you do, you know, day by day, week by week, you're able to build yourself back up. And I brought this idea to John and I was like, is this out of touch? And I'm like, I just feel like. And I don't wanna be like. You kind of get to use this card though, once you've been through something traumatic.
- [26:16]
Keke Palmer
Yeah.
- [26:17]
John Buffard
Where I was like, you know what? But this is our trauma. And the way that I deal with things is through comedy. And I feel like if this is something that I'm experiencing. There has to be other people who experience this as well. And if it's a way for people to feel connected and seen, we might as well do it. But I was pooping my pants before I. I hit post because I was so nervous that people would think this is, you know, out of touch or.
- [26:40]
Keke Palmer
It was really, really smart. I felt like when I saw it, I was like, damn. Oh, like, that's the best way that I can explain it.
- [26:49]
John Buffard
And to give your listeners, in case they haven't seen it, it's. I mean, you could go watch, but. Yeah, but please. We go back into the office, the dual income, no kid office, and we ask for our resignation papers back. But we don't say anything. We just look pissed. We put out our hand and she nervously.
- [27:04]
Keke Palmer
I was like, fuck you.
- [27:05]
John Buffard
Yeah, she nervously gets the papers back together, hands it, and we're like, you know, we'll be back, but we leave. And yeah, I think it's.
- [27:13]
Keke Palmer
It's again, what were the comments on it? Was everybody positive? I'm sure everybody gets some trolls.
- [27:18]
John Buffard
Yeah, of course. Yeah. Like the 1% of the loudest people who are annoying. But no, the majority of people, just, to your point, felt like it was a perfect display of the feeling of what it was in a comedic way. But like. And true. They were like, I don't know if I should laugh at this or not.
- [27:34]
Keke Palmer
Right. But then it's a little chuckle.
- [27:36]
John Buffard
But it was our way also, because we are a comedy page of kind of giving people permission to laugh with us because we're like. It felt so. I was like, how are we gonna come back to being this comedy page after going through something so dark and so traumatic? And I've never seen people turn it into something comedic because it's not funny. But there is dark humor and life.
- [27:57]
Keke Palmer
Is kind of a tragic comedy.
- [27:58]
John Buffard
Yeah.
- [27:59]
Keke Palmer
Like, I talk about, we live, we fall in love, everybody start dying. You know what I'm saying? Sometimes you can be the last one left.
- [28:04]
John Buffard
Yes. Yeah.
- [28:05]
Keke Palmer
Sometimes your kids go first. Like, it's like, there's so much terrible things that can go down, but then it's like, so lovely. And then you're like, wait a minute, my life is over. So I do think, like, yeah, it is a bit tragic at times. How important for you? And I think maybe even in this time, did you realize comedy was a tool for you?
- [28:22]
John Buffard
Well, if you're not laughing, you're crying. And I was like, I needed comedy to help pull me out because it.
- [28:29]
Guest
Was a very good outlet for us. For sure. I mean, and then we've done more than just that video. And I think the more we did it, the more it helped us, you know? And I was reluctant at first. I was like, I don't know, like, do you really want to, like, air our shit out like that? And it did. It ended up helping us and, like, ripping the band aid off kind of. So, yeah.
- [28:50]
John Buffard
And again, I think that that's just our art form. It's like, because we know that no matter what, there are gonna be those dark days. And so why not try to bring light the jokes that we were having behind the scenes, we were like, I bet other people who are lost parents would enjoy this joke as well, you know?
- [29:07]
Keke Palmer
Absolutely. Absolutely, baby. This is karma. Yeah. Now, you guys obviously have handled it all with such grace, but I imagine going through, I mean, having kids, losing kids, it can bring hostility in the relationship. How was it for you guys internally dealing with that loss? Outside of, you know, the content and the catharsis of humor, what truly was helping you get through it was a learning curve.
- [29:36]
Guest
I mean, it was scary. I was scared. I was scared for her. I didn't know what to do. I mean, what am I gonna do? I'm just trying to be there to comfort her. You know, There was moments where I couldn't get her out of bed. I mean, like, months.
- [29:50]
Keke Palmer
Yep.
- [29:50]
Guest
And to, you know, be a husband and feel like you were just not doing enough was really shitty. And then just. We're really good at communicating. I mean, we've always been amazing at communicating. So we're able to, like, work through it, talk through it.
- [30:07]
John Buffard
So it's hard in relationships, I think, too, because people have this idea that you need to be 50, 50. But truly, in a marriage or any relationship, it's not always gonna be 50, 50. You know, you both wanna be able to give a hundred, but when shit hits the fan, sometimes I'm giving zero and he's giving 100. Or, you know, and as time has progressed, I went through a big grieving process in the beginning. And he. Once he saw that I was doing better, he started to grieve more. Like, he gave himself permission to grieve. And so he was more at 20% and I'm operating at 80%. And so it's really just a balance. And I think when you're choosing a partner, you have to think, how is this person going to stand there and support me when things go bad? Because nobody is immune to tragedy happening to them. You know, it does not discriminate Again, we were just talking about the fires and it's like you could give your thoughts and prayers to this person or that person and think, wow, like, I can't believe this happened to me and not to them. Someone else might have gone through something that you don't know about, or they haven't gone through it yet. And so I just think that again, it's making sure that you're choosing someone who will show up for you and pick you up when you are at your lowest, because you just never know when that will be.
- [31:21]
Keke Palmer
Everything you said right now is exactly why people need to watch. Give it to me straight. And listen. Watch and listen to your. To your podcast. Because you guys are actually giving advice to people about relationships. What inspired you to make the podcast?
- [31:34]
John Buffard
It was actually. Do you wanna go into what did.
- [31:37]
Guest
From the beginning, so long ago? I thought it was. Cause we thought Trump was getting rid.
- [31:42]
John Buffard
Of TikTok back in the day, back in 2020.
- [31:45]
Keke Palmer
Cause that's been something on his mind. I remember that.
- [31:48]
Guest
Cause we started on TikTok and we had. That's where we were growing. We didn't even have Instagram then. And then when he said he was going to get rid of it, we're like, oh, no, we gotta. What are we gonna do?
- [31:56]
Keke Palmer
Time to repo.
- [31:57]
John Buffard
Yeah. So we were like, let's. You know, and people would write in or just DM us and be like, you know, asking us questions about relationships or just wanting our advice on things. So we're like, why not just do another relationship podcast?
- [32:10]
Keke Palmer
Like, yeah, I mean, add to the millions out there, but also one that sounds more realistic. I love the. Sometimes it's 0 and 100. Because I think that sometimes we hear a lot of idealistic stuff about relationships and growing up. For me, I seen my parents be equal. You know what I'm saying? They both put the same in when they could and when they couldn't and then the other person picked up. And I feel like we should hear and see a little bit more of that realism. Because everybody's not taking you to Bali on day two.
- [32:34]
John Buffard
Come on.
- [32:35]
Keke Palmer
It's just not going to happen. Everybody's not rich, you know, that's just not the reality of it. What are the moments. Cause you mentioned this before, that you find you have the most different perspective than each other.
- [32:47]
John Buffard
Hmm. That's a good question. I would probably say when we're talking on the podcast, because it's uninterrupted time where we get these really interesting perspectives or questions from other couples and I'm like, you really think that? Are you for real? Like, we'll sometimes have completely opposite opinions on how a situation should be handled.
- [33:07]
Keke Palmer
What's the craziest thing that someone asks you guys? Advice.
- [33:10]
Guest
Crazy. The questions we get are absurd. And first off, most of the questions, we get a ton of questions. People, everyone is the same. No one's unique. There's so the amount of questions we just got about cheating.
- [33:25]
Keke Palmer
But what do they ask about cheating? Because I mean, it's like it happy. Either you cool with it again, right?
- [33:30]
John Buffard
Exactly.
- [33:30]
Keke Palmer
You know, you're staying or you're leaving.
- [33:32]
Guest
They're always like, I don't know what to do. I'm like, did you tell them? Did you fucking talk to the person?
- [33:36]
John Buffard
The majority of the issues all boil down to. To communication. But one that was crazy that we got was a mother in law poked holes in her son's condoms because she wanted grandbabies.
- [33:49]
Keke Palmer
That's absolutely disgusting. And you need like, the triangulation must stop.
- [33:53]
John Buffard
Oh my gosh.
- [33:54]
Keke Palmer
You need to stop triangulating with your son.
- [33:56]
Guest
You know how they found out?
- [33:57]
Keke Palmer
That's crazy.
- [33:58]
Guest
They found out at the. Was it the baby shower?
- [34:00]
John Buffard
The baby shower or not the baby shower? The. Her first birthday party. The mother said we would.
- [34:04]
Guest
She's giving a toast.
- [34:04]
John Buffard
We wouldn't be here if it wasn't for me. They cut her out and she was like, what do we do? Right? No, I think that is like, that's the fucking crime.
- [34:13]
Keke Palmer
Are you kidding me? Is her saying it openly? I would have called the police right there.
- [34:17]
Guest
They thought they were gonna be like, happy with her.
- [34:19]
John Buffard
But I don't know. Sometimes we get questions. I'm like, is that real? We're gonna ask them. But I'm like, is that real?
- [34:24]
Keke Palmer
Right? It's like, is this a Jerry moment?
- [34:25]
John Buffard
Yeah, right, Exactly.
- [34:27]
Keke Palmer
Do you ever get emails that are too weird that you know, or difficult. I won't say weird. Don't wanna be judgmental, but that you're just like, I can't even say this. Or I can't speak to this. Or do you kind of let everybody through?
- [34:39]
John Buffard
No, we don't let everybody through, honestly. Because there's. We get thousands if they're not written well, they're hard to read. I'm like, I'm not editing this. If they're too long. I'm like, I'm not going through pages long. Pages long. Or just repetitive, like questions that we got a lot.
- [34:53]
Keke Palmer
What are your thoughts on cheating? Does that mean the relationship's over or can it move forward.
- [34:58]
John Buffard
I think it depends on where you're at. What was the context of it? Like, is it emotional affair? Is it a physical affair? There's so much. There's so much. I love the word unfair. Yeah.
- [35:10]
Keke Palmer
I don't like the experience.
- [35:11]
John Buffard
Right, Exactly. But there's so much that it's just not as black and white.
- [35:17]
Guest
But it's very subjective. Because everyone's threshold's different.
- [35:21]
John Buffard
Because it really comes down to trust too. Can you rebuild that trust? And if you can't, it's probably not gonna work, you know, so there is.
- [35:31]
Keke Palmer
A way, but you gotta want the way.
- [35:33]
John Buffard
Maybe. I don't know that there's always a way. I don't know that there's always a way.
- [35:37]
Guest
I feel like our threshold's different. Like if you were, you know, whatever crosses your line. Cause then you're always. That's gonna be in the back of your head.
- [35:45]
Keke Palmer
Yeah, yeah, it is. It is.
- [35:47]
John Buffard
If you can't be too many fish in the sea. You know, it really would depend on the scenario. Like in what. And again, is this a long term thing? Was it like a one night oopsie? Again, none of them are acceptable. But it's just really to each their own. Everyone has a different threshold of what they're willing to forgive.
- [36:07]
Keke Palmer
Which brings me to another one. I'm curious, you guys, thoughts about divorce or like really till death do us part?
- [36:13]
John Buffard
Fuck no. If it's toxic, get divorced. Oh my God. People are together for the worst reasons. And I'm like, for what?
- [36:22]
Keke Palmer
Oh my gosh. How do you know when it's over? How do you know when it's. Cause this, obviously, as you guys have said, relationships can be hard. You'll have hard times. When is it like girl or homeboy? Stick it through. And when is it like you need to run?
- [36:35]
John Buffard
You can sense a lot from your sex life. Truly.
- [36:38]
Keke Palmer
Well, I know that's right.
- [36:39]
John Buffard
Yeah. I think that like if you're getting busy one, yeah.
- [36:43]
Guest
And I think also like it shifts the mood completely.
- [36:45]
Keke Palmer
That means intimacy is gone, I think.
- [36:47]
John Buffard
You know, and like also, if you're a woman is not interested to be intimate with you, it's probably because you're not showing up in a way that you need to in the relationship.
- [36:57]
Keke Palmer
Come on.
- [36:58]
John Buffard
The reason why I wanna jump John's bones all the time is because he shows up as the best partner for me. Like, we operate on the mindset of making each other's lives easier. And I think that.
- [37:10]
Keke Palmer
Think of service.
- [37:11]
John Buffard
Yes. And I'm like, I never have to. If the garbage can is full, I don't look at it and say, well, that's John's job. I looked at it and say, well, oh, my gosh. I don't want John to have to do this, so I'll take it out. Just, like, if I go over to the dishwasher, it's emptied. I'm like, because he didn't want me to do it. Like, you have to.
- [37:26]
Keke Palmer
I'm done with the gender roles, and I'm so happy you brought that up. Has got to go into the gutter.
- [37:31]
John Buffard
You have to work together as a team, and I think your whole goal.
- [37:34]
Guest
Should be making your partner's life easier. So you both are trying to focus on that.
- [37:39]
Keke Palmer
Yes. Okay. I am in love with them. They mean the world to me. I want kids. They don't want kids. Do I gotta let them go?
- [37:48]
Guest
Yeah. I mean, there's some big. There's some big questions. Like, if you can't agree on.
- [37:51]
John Buffard
I think all those little things, you'll end up being resentful over time. Why are you sacrificing who you truly are and what you want for someone who's not willing to meet you in the middle or compromise for you, you're only going to butt. That's just the first thing.
- [38:05]
Keke Palmer
And that word is so key to the compromise for you because I know my mom. My dad. When my mom and my dad first met, my dad was like, I want 10 kids. And my mom was like, I want zero. She was like, but you know what? Let's meet in the midd. Then she realized being a mother was everything I ever wanted, but she wanted to compromise to begin with. So it's not. You're not gonna get that hard no. Yeah, exactly. If it's a hard no, then it's like, it's a hard no.
- [38:27]
John Buffard
Yeah.
- [38:29]
Guest
Where are you meeting these guys? Like, when you. Are you like, on Tinder. We met on Tinder.
- [38:33]
John Buffard
We did.
- [38:34]
Keke Palmer
Oh, my gosh. So, you know, it's so funny. I have done dating apps before. I love that you asked this. I did. You know, they always have these ones. Raya. I did Raya. I did. First of all, Raya's a networking service. Like, it's so bullsh. Sorry to the bad brand. I did also hinge when I was in New York.
- [38:51]
Guest
Too creative. You got to be witty. I'd be so fine.
- [38:53]
John Buffard
Jakey's creative, though.
- [38:54]
Guest
I think you would be fine.
- [38:56]
Keke Palmer
Nobody really picked me, and I think. I don't know why. You know, I use my personal Thought.
- [38:59]
John Buffard
You were a spam account.
- [39:01]
Keke Palmer
I think 100%. They must have thought I was fake. I was trying to get my date on.
- [39:05]
John Buffard
It's not real, you know, I'm trying.
- [39:06]
Keke Palmer
To get my date on. Mostly I meet people through mutual fruit. Cuz who says get your date on. I need to just go. I'm trying to get my date on. I mean, early 2000, but yeah, I meet people usually with friends, you know, at some type of party they have. And honestly, so rare these days. But it's amazing that you guys met on Tinder. My aunt and uncle, they've been married for over 30 years. I feel like the first Tinder was newspaper ads and that's how they met. They met in a newspaper ad. They said, I'm looking for love. She was looking for love. They met, you know, so I'm not mad at the social digital. You know what I mean? If it were right. Well, guys, I've had a blast talking to you. I don't know if it was a vibe. I don't know if it was a blast.
- [39:45]
Guest
I don't know if it was a blast.
- [39:47]
Keke Palmer
A blast.
- [39:48]
John Buffard
I love it.
- [39:49]
Keke Palmer
You're so funny and I wish that everybody can like. Guys, you gotta go listen to their podcast because literally they're nothing but laughs. Just like on their social media. We have been cackling up in here.
- [40:00]
John Buffard
Thank you.
- [40:01]
Keke Palmer
But before I let you guys go, I always play a game with my guests. So come on, you have to play this game. This one is called Here for It or Not. Okay, I'm gonna throw out some relationship themed topics and all you have to do is tell me if you're here for it or not. Okay? The concept of love languages here forever.
- [40:19]
Guest
I'm not.
- [40:19]
John Buffard
Yes, John, you are.
- [40:21]
Guest
I'm not.
- [40:21]
John Buffard
You say that you are.
- [40:23]
Guest
You've talked about it so many times.
- [40:25]
Keke Palmer
Why do you say you're not and why do you say he is?
- [40:26]
John Buffard
Because this man loves words of affirmation. He needs to be told that he is doing the best. Yeah, he needs to be told.
- [40:33]
Keke Palmer
I need the words. I don't care. Like what's happening. I need to hear that you love me so much.
- [40:37]
John Buffard
No, that is him. If I don't tell him. I love your mustache. Your muscles are huge. You're the best. You're so funny.
- [40:43]
Guest
I said one thing just like going off because you.
- [40:46]
John Buffard
That's how you like to be loved is words you don't get.
- [40:49]
Keke Palmer
What do you think that how you think she likes to be loved? Like, is she a physical touch Is she acts of service?
- [40:53]
Guest
There's one physical touch that we go direct that she. That's what she likes. She doesn't like hugs.
- [40:58]
John Buffard
Oh, there's only one type of physical.
- [41:01]
Keke Palmer
No, I know what that means.
- [41:03]
John Buffard
Again, that's exactly what it is. I'm just telling you what you're thinking. Your sex life. That's why you're struggling.
- [41:06]
Keke Palmer
That's why you're fit and body's on point.
- [41:08]
John Buffard
You're not helping your partner around the house.
- [41:09]
Guest
It's aggressive.
- [41:12]
John Buffard
Oh, my gosh.
- [41:13]
Keke Palmer
Okay. Looking for explanations to relationship problems in astrology. You guys are both Tauruses. Yeah, I could already tell you guys are not astrology folk.
- [41:21]
John Buffard
I went to this one birth chart reader in la and I was sold for a minute, and I was like, I think that this is legit. John.
- [41:28]
Keke Palmer
What did they tell y'all?
- [41:30]
John Buffard
I mean, I did like a one on one with her, and I wish. I really just want to hear more about John.
- [41:35]
Keke Palmer
Oh, my gosh. You guys are so cute.
- [41:37]
John Buffard
I just want to hear, like, your birth chart.
- [41:39]
Keke Palmer
She's like, let me analyze John.
- [41:40]
John Buffard
It would help me understand favorite pastime. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
- [41:44]
Keke Palmer
Reality dating shows. You guys have got to love it. No.
- [41:47]
John Buffard
Oh, I love it. Do I think that it's. You're actually on there to find love? No, it's for entertainment.
- [41:51]
Keke Palmer
Yeah, it's just like, nobody was on A&DM trying to be a Meg Sex top model. We were trying to find a America's next top reality star. You know what I mean? It's always that case. Okay, going back to dating apps, if y'all were single again, you met on Tinder, right?
- [42:05]
Guest
Right.
- [42:05]
Keke Palmer
So what do y'all think? Y'all still, like, the dating app vibe? You think it's good?
- [42:08]
Guest
I have to. I have. No. If I went up to someone who's like, hey, they'd be get the.
- [42:13]
John Buffard
Away from me. I have to.
- [42:15]
Keke Palmer
So that means you were texting. Was his lines like, oh, I can't spell perfectly.
- [42:21]
John Buffard
No. And that's the difference too, which.
- [42:23]
Guest
It was brutal.
- [42:25]
John Buffard
I did not. I was, like, about to cancel this date because I was such a bad texter and was so boring. But then in real life, that's why you have to meet people in real life too.
- [42:35]
Keke Palmer
So wait, guys, first date quickly, because that just excited me. You wanted to cancel. Cause you're like, he's dry on text. You guys meet. You see the person like, what hap. What was the. Like, what happened?
- [42:45]
Guest
Well, first I slammed my car into the sidewalk and fucked up My rim. Then I got into the restaurant. She's not there.
- [42:52]
Keke Palmer
I love a girl that's way.
- [42:54]
John Buffard
I'm sorry, I'm not gonna be there first.
- [42:55]
Guest
Then I hear her come through the door, and she's loud. She's like, jud, I'm on the second floor. She's yelling at me.
- [43:02]
John Buffard
He goes. The first thing he said to me, why are you yelling?
- [43:05]
Guest
Why are you yelling? I say that all the time. Why are you yelling?
- [43:07]
Keke Palmer
You guys were immediately yourselves.
- [43:09]
John Buffard
Yeah. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. And then he's like, oh, we're just doing drinks. I was like, well, I'm hungry. So I ordered a pizza, and then we ate.
- [43:17]
Guest
Who orders a pizza on the first day? A full pie.
- [43:20]
Keke Palmer
Alex, dance.
- [43:21]
John Buffard
Yeah. And now we're married. Like, it. It brought you true love.
- [43:26]
Keke Palmer
Can we just quickly take a moment to just talk about, like, that authenticity piece in relationships? I find that even in my own life, you put on the. Look, it's normal in the beginning. I can understand it. But when you really just. Even on that first meeting, be your 100% self, it really helps. And I think it can be difficult and hard because you want people to like you and you don't want them to be turned off. But it's like, man, if I'm me, that'll help you, A, know that you can be you. And then, B, we could see if we even really jive, you know?
- [43:55]
John Buffard
I think you just cut out just.
- [43:58]
Guest
The one thing you need to cut out. Don't be that person that tells your life story in, like, five minutes.
- [44:02]
Keke Palmer
Yeah, you do need to have some.
- [44:04]
Guest
Things reel it back a little bit, you know?
- [44:07]
John Buffard
No, but I think that goes with anything in life. Like, even on social media. Why are you trying to be someone you're not? Like, let people unfollow you, you know, don't be. Don't be out there hurting people's feelings and being mean. But if you are who you are and you're not everyone's cup of tea, that's okay. It helps you find your community.
- [44:24]
Keke Palmer
Yeah. It's so much more comfortable. Okay. Couples sharing passwords to their phones and social medias.
- [44:30]
John Buffard
I'm for it. Yeah, we have each other's period.
- [44:34]
Guest
Well, and we're also married. I think once you're married, we just.
- [44:36]
Keke Palmer
Everything, like, cut the bullshit.
- [44:38]
John Buffard
Like, I have nothing to hide.
- [44:39]
Guest
It's so much easier.
- [44:39]
John Buffard
Like, 50 50.
- [44:41]
Keke Palmer
Or like, my parents shared email. It's too much. And they've merged their name. Like, it's. It's so bad. Like, my parents Are like. My parents are like, you guys. It's too much, but it's everything you need. It's everything you need. It's relocation from each other's relationship goals.
- [44:57]
John Buffard
Yeah. I love it.
- [44:58]
Keke Palmer
Okay, last one. Make your partner. I feel like I know what you guys are going to say this, but making your partner have a location sharing on their phone turned on all times.
- [45:06]
Guest
Yeah. You're the only one.
- [45:07]
Keke Palmer
I don't think I can.
- [45:07]
John Buffard
We do. Yeah, we do.
- [45:09]
Guest
Well.
- [45:09]
John Buffard
Oh, my gosh. Okay. Sorry to, like, segue. I know. I have a story really quick. We moved into our house in New York. I'm pregnant. High risk. So I'm emotional. John's like, I'm gonna take this bike out for, like, a ride in the neighborhood. And I'm like, okay, I'm making dinner. Be home in, like, 40 minutes. I love to make dinner. When I was depressed, I did not make dinner at all. But John is out riding his bike. The sun is going down. I'm like, where the fuck is this man? So I'm like, I call him. His phone is at home. So I get in the car. It's pitch blackout. I'm driving through this new neighborhood.
- [45:39]
Keke Palmer
Oh, my gosh.
- [45:40]
John Buffard
He got lost.
- [45:41]
Guest
I got lost.
- [45:41]
John Buffard
He's in the driveway waiting, coming home. I'm sobbing because I'm like, this man is dead. I was like, we just moved to his house. He got kidnapped. Yeah. And he's laughing, hysterical, because he's like, I just left my phone at home. I was like, you never do that.
- [45:53]
Guest
This is not the move.
- [45:54]
John Buffard
How am I supposed to see where you are? And if you're dead in a ditch, keep your phone on you.
- [45:58]
Keke Palmer
Period. This ain't ghost.
- [45:59]
John Buffard
So then I was.
- [46:00]
Guest
Now we know.
- [46:02]
John Buffard
Like, I'm gonna put an air tag on your body, guys.
- [46:04]
Keke Palmer
You are so delightful. I'm so happy that you came on the podcast, and I can't wait to get in to give it to me straight. Thank you again.
- [46:10]
John Buffard
Thank you so much for having us. Yay.
- [46:12]
Keke Palmer
So delightful. And that's a wrap, y'all. Can we just take a moment to appreciate Alexandra and John? I mean, the way they was keeping it real and loving and laughing. That's what it's all about. What I've learned from them is that life's gonna throw some hard stuff your way, but it's okay to sit with the pain. Just don't forget to let a little humor slip in, because sometimes laughter is the best kind of medicine. So take care of yourselves. Hold onto your people close and keep finding those moments, moments of Joy, especially in 2025. I'll see you next time. You know it's your girl. Baby this is this is Kiki. Baby this is Kiki Palmer. Yeah, enjoy. Baby this is Keke Palmer on the Wondery app, wherever you get your podcasts and now on YouTube where you can watch full episodes. Subscribe to the wondery channel on YouTube and don't miss any episodes you can listen to Baby this is Keke Palmer early and ad free on Wondery. Join Wondery in the Wondery app or on Apple podcasts. Baby this is Keke Palmer is hosted and executive produced by me, Keke Palmer. Lucas Seagal is our post producer. Music supervisor is Scott Velasquez. Our original theme song was written and performed by me, Keke Palmer for for Team Kiki. My producer is Sharon Palmer for Wondery. Our managing producer is Olivia Fonte. Our producer is Tristan McNeil. Senior producers are Lizzie Bassett and Candace Manriquez Wren. Our executive producers are Dave Easton and Marshall Louand.