100 Men v 1 Gorilla

Summary

Podcast Title: Bad Friends
Hosts: Bobby Lee & Andrew Santino
Episode: 100 Men v 1 Gorilla
Release Date: June 16, 2025

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Introduction

In this milestone 100th episode of Bad Friends, hosts Bobby Lee and Andrew Santino engage in their trademark humorous banter, delving into a variety of topics ranging from pop culture memes to personal anecdotes. The episode features a guest, Diego (also referred to as Jackson), who brings an additional layer of comedy and improvisation to the conversation.

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Key Discussion Points

1. Memes and Pop Culture References

The episode kicks off with Bobby Lee expressing disdain towards "bad friends," leading into a discussion about viral memes, specifically the "100 men vs. 1 gorilla" meme.

• Bobby Lee (00:03): "White dude and an Asian dude. You two are disgusting."

Andrew Santino expands on the meme, analyzing its absurdity and humorously concluding that a hundred men would indeed lose against a gorilla.

• Andrew Santino (00:17): "A hundred men versus a gorilla. Yeah, we'd lose."

2. Animal Rights and Pet Abuse

The conversation shifts to frustrating instances of animal abuse, particularly focusing on dogs.

• Andrew Santino (01:00): "How many people would it take to fight off a Doberman pincher?"

Bobby and Andrew express their strong disapproval of mistreating animals, sharing personal experiences that highlight their empathy towards pets.

• Bobby Lee (01:35): "He scared both the Carlos and me."

3. Food Preferences and Dietary Choices

The hosts engage in a light-hearted debate about food preferences, specifically peanut butter and jam.

• Bobby Lee (02:08): "You know what I do? I put peanut butter. Peanut butter on my butthole."

The conversation humorously veers into the merits of crunchy versus smooth peanut butter and the quality of different jam brands.

• Andrew Santino (02:16): "That's very smart. After the dogs are done with you."

4. Humor and Banter Between Hosts

Bobby and Andrew maintain their playful dynamic, often teasing each other and engaging in witty exchanges.

• Bobby Lee (05:03): "I hate when animals are treated that way."
• Andrew Santino (05:07): "We know yours doesn't."

Their humor extends to mock-serious discussions about topics like losing tailbones or contemplating life changes, always interspersed with laughter and sarcasm.

• Andrew Santino (25:56): "You better be careful with your girlfriend. You might have one of these babies with the tail."

5. Pop Culture and Celebrity Humor

The hosts frequently reference and parody celebrities and pop culture icons, blending factual information with comedic twists.

• Bobby Lee (10:12): "That's Bonnie Maimon. She's just an old fat white lady."
• Andrew Santino (12:03): "Imagine saying that to somebody and then beating the shit out."

Guest Interaction: Diego (Jackson)

1. Introduction and Improvisation

Diego joins the conversation, bringing fresh energy and improvisational humor. The trio engages in playful segments where they pretend to be characters or adopt exaggerated personas.

• Diego (17:44): "What's your vision? What's your number?"
• Bobby Lee (18:00): "That's you right there, Diego."

2. Personal Anecdotes and Fictional Stories

Diego shares quirky and fictional stories about his family and personal life, which are met with amused disbelief and laughter from Bobby and Andrew.

• Diego (33:07): "Basically, what happened is my mom, who gave birth to me, her eggs were all fucked up, so then they put an egg on my cousin, so then my whole family tree shifted."

3. Improv and Comedy Skits

The guest participates in improvisational skits, including pretending to be a college professor discussing film or adopting exaggerated accents and behaviors for comedic effect.

• Diego (28:27): "So welcome, class. My name is Bobby Santino."

4. Humorous Disagreements and Teasing

The trio engages in humorous disagreements, teasing each other about personal traits, tech mishaps, and fictional scenarios.

• Andrew Santino (50:36): "He looks just like you."

Notable Quotes with Timestamps

• Bobby Lee (00:03): "White dude and an Asian dude. You two are disgusting."
• Andrew Santino (00:17): "A hundred men versus a gorilla. Yeah, we'd lose."
• Bobby Lee (02:08): "You know what I do? I put peanut butter. Peanut butter on my butthole."
• Andrew Santino (05:07): "We know yours doesn't."
• Andrew Santino (25:56): "You better be careful with your girlfriend. You might have one of these babies with the tail."
• Diego (33:07): "Basically, what happened is my mom, who gave birth to me, her eggs were all fucked up, so then they put an egg on my cousin, so then my whole family tree shifted."
• Diego (28:27): "So welcome, class. My name is Bobby Santino."
• Andrew Santino (50:36): "He looks just like you."

Conclusion

The episode weaves together a blend of humor, personal stories, and playful interactions, hallmark traits of Bad Friends. Bobby Lee and Andrew Santino, alongside their guest Diego, create an engaging and entertaining atmosphere, celebrating the 100th episode milestone with laughter and camaraderie. The light-hearted discussions and improvisational segments highlight the chemistry between the hosts and their ability to keep listeners entertained through spontaneous and witty dialogue.

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Note: This summary excludes advertisement segments and focuses solely on the conversational and comedic content presented during the episode.

Transcript

[Bobby Lee]

You two are bad friends.

[Andrew Santino]

Who are these two idiots?

[Bobby Lee]

White dude and an Asian dude. You two are disgusting. You two or something. We're bad friends. I can kill a gorilla on my own. I don't need 99 other men.

[Andrew Santino]

He's doing this because there's a guy who was wearing a shirt, it said, I'm not a gorilla, but I can beat off 100 men.

[Bobby Lee]

Not that. Based on that. I saw that.

[Andrew Santino]

That's what we just talked about at lunch.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah, but there's these memes and stuff going around. About 100 men versus a gorilla.

[Andrew Santino]

You couldn't. You could not. A hundred men versus a gorilla. Yeah, we'd lose.

[Bobby Lee]

Is that how big a gorilla is?

[Andrew Santino]

It's not how big.

[Bobby Lee]

Oh, I mean, how many? Okay, let's go. Let's go. All animals. How many men would a Yorkshire terrier.

[Andrew Santino]

Like a grown adult male? Just one.

[Bobby Lee]

One.

[Andrew Santino]

But not take. How many kids?

[Bobby Lee]

But not Brad Williams.

[Andrew Santino]

No. Bw.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah. He'd be taken down.

[Andrew Santino]

How about. How about. How many people would it take to. To fight off a Doberman pincher? O. I saw a guy manhandling his dog this morning. Speaking of which. And it really pissed me off, dude. Because you know how, like, people tug on the chain. And he kept. He whipped it around because he was barking at another dog in a fence.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah.

[Andrew Santino]

And he whipped it so hard it leapt off the ground. And then he grabbed it by the neck.

[Bobby Lee]

And that guy. Write his name down. That's uncalled for.

[Andrew Santino]

A pitbull. He was. He had a pit bull.

[Bobby Lee]

I hate when animals are treated that way.

[Andrew Santino]

I don't like it at all, man. It pissed me off. There's my dog in the window.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah. He scared both the Carlos and me.

[Andrew Santino]

Did it scare you guys?

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah, I jumped.

[Diego]

Literally.

[Bobby Lee]

Or they'll see like a puppy like being beaten down on the side of the road.

[Andrew Santino]

Disgusting.

[Bobby Lee]

Right? You. How come I can't find them?

[Andrew Santino]

You know how there's this show on.

[Bobby Lee]

The Internet where I can't find kittens or anything?

[Andrew Santino]

You know, their show on the Internet where they catch is called. There's a guy named Colorado Ped Patrol. He. He, like, baits people that are trying to interact with underage people and then they beat them in public. They, like, beat the life out. Why can't we bait people that are abusive to dogs and beat them in public and stream it? I think if you beat dogs, we should beat you in public and stream it.

[Bobby Lee]

You know what I do? I put peanut butter. Peanut butter on my butthole.

[Andrew Santino]

That'll get them out there. That'll get the dogs excited. I don't know about the guy who does the abuse.

[Bobby Lee]

I'll make him eat it.

[Andrew Santino]

Oh, that's smart.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah.

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah, that's very smart. After the dogs are done with you.

[Bobby Lee]

Chunky peanut butter, extra chunky or crunchy?

[Andrew Santino]

You like chunky or smooth?

[Bobby Lee]

I'm a crunchy guy, dude.

[Andrew Santino]

Really?

[Bobby Lee]

Oh, 100.

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah. You're kind of crunchy.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah. Yeah. Well, you like smooth?

[Andrew Santino]

Nah. Smooth is so weird.

[Bobby Lee]

It's so weird. It feels weird. What kind of jelly do you use?

[Andrew Santino]

Raspberry.

[Bobby Lee]

Know what brand.

[Andrew Santino]

I use? The one. What's the one that's, you know. Yeah. You know.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah, it's the one that.

[Andrew Santino]

You know.

[Bobby Lee]

A mom and pop. Yes, that one.

[Andrew Santino]

Who is that, though? I don't even know. We just buy it.

[Bobby Lee]

We buy it because it looks so like cottage.

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah, cottage. By an old white lady.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah.

[Andrew Santino]

I made you some jam.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah. Where is it? I think it's Smuckers, right?

[Andrew Santino]

No, no, man. We're not Smuckers.

[Bobby Lee]

We're not Smuckers, guys. For sure.

[Andrew Santino]

That one. The first one. The first one. Go up top. The first one. The first thing. That girl. That's what I use.

[Bobby Lee]

Who is this woman? This one.

[Andrew Santino]

Bonnie.

[Bobby Lee]

Bonnie.

[Andrew Santino]

Bonnie Maimon.

[Bobby Lee]

My. Oh, she's got a skill set, that one.

[Andrew Santino]

Huge rack. Bonnie Maimon. She's just an old fat white lady. I'll make you some strawberry preserves.

[Bobby Lee]

That's a really good one. Do you refrigerate your jam?

[Andrew Santino]

No, I don't think so.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah. Do you refrigerate your peanut butter?

[Andrew Santino]

No, and I don't. And I definitely don't refrigerate butter. People that put butter in the fridge. Weirdo. Leave it out.

[Bobby Lee]

Leave it out, you weirdo.

[Andrew Santino]

Let it get soft.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah.

[Andrew Santino]

Butter should generally be refrigerated. No, that's not true.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah, I think that you're wrong about that. I was going along with you. I'm like, I don't know.

[Andrew Santino]

Butter. Butter lasts longer in the fridge, but you don't have to put it in the frid. Yeah, you don't look it up.

[Bobby Lee]

Here's another thing you shouldn't put in the fridge. Sashimi.

[Andrew Santino]

Leave it out.

[Bobby Lee]

Leave it out for a month.

[Andrew Santino]

Wherever the sun is coming in your house.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah.

[Andrew Santino]

Big slice of tuna in your front, and you're just in the front. Recommended refrigerated jelly, especially if it's not high sugar variety. I'm gonna tell you, I don't. I don't oblige you, any of It. I drank spoiled milk yesterday and I'm fine. Really, I did. I'm not kidding. I had cereal. I looked at. It was like seven days past when it said don't drink.

[Bobby Lee]

Was it curdled?

[Andrew Santino]

Tasted fine.

[Bobby Lee]

I mean, yeah.

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah, my fart smelled weird, but who cares?

[Bobby Lee]

I do.

[Andrew Santino]

Your body is.

[Bobby Lee]

I'm lactose intolerant.

[Andrew Santino]

Oh, well, you can't have it.

[Bobby Lee]

Curdled milk, forget about it.

[Andrew Santino]

You're lactose intolerant?

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah.

[Andrew Santino]

You're Korean and Jewish.

[Bobby Lee]

Yes.

[Andrew Santino]

That. That's what I had for breakfast.

[Bobby Lee]

Yuck.

[Andrew Santino]

Yogurt.

[Bobby Lee]

You had yogurt? Yeah. Okay.

[Andrew Santino]

By the way, yogurt is. Is. Isn't that curdled milk? There's nothing wrong with drinking spoiled milk. Thank you.

[Jackson]

Questions?

[Andrew Santino]

It just doesn't taste good. But it doesn't do anything to you. No. No. You're. You're how old?

[Bobby Lee]

How old?

[Andrew Santino]

Drinking milk can be dangerous.

[Bobby Lee]

It's so good to have doctors in the house.

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah, like we're on Rogan show just giving out medical advice. Two. Two idiots giving out medical advice.

[Bobby Lee]

Does your mother have titty milk still in her breast? Cuz that's. I'd like to try it.

[Andrew Santino]

We know yours doesn't. Yeah, I see those fried eggs hanging off her chest. Things hit her belt.

[Bobby Lee]

Dude, you know what?

[Andrew Santino]

Your mom goes. Oh, you look at my boobies. No, you know, I'm looking at your face, not your belt line.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah, you went mean with it.

[Andrew Santino]

Oh, you looking at my boobies.

[Bobby Lee]

You're going me with it.

[Andrew Santino]

Dude, you started it.

[Bobby Lee]

I just said, are there like a scientific question and clearly there's not. Dug into my mom.

[Andrew Santino]

Clearly there's not. You know, milk goes away.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah. Okay.

[Andrew Santino]

How long does breast milk stay in a woman's breast after giving birth after.

[Bobby Lee]

They stop breast milk breastfeeding?

[Andrew Santino]

That's what I mean.

[Bobby Lee]

You know what? Your mom's titty.

[Andrew Santino]

Two years after cessation, you know what.

[Bobby Lee]

Comes out of your mom's titty? Mac and cheese dust. The cheese dust.

[Andrew Santino]

Did that land? You thought that was gonna hit, didn't you? You thought about it and it didn't hit.

[Bobby Lee]

I think it's gonna. It's gonna hit with some of her fans, I think. Okay, well, let me have the line again then.

[Andrew Santino]

Go on.

[Bobby Lee]

The cheese powder from macaroni and cheese.

[Andrew Santino]

That's pretty good. Kraft. Yeah, yeah, Robert Kraft.

[Bobby Lee]

You know what penis I want to see though. Remember that flying horsey and never ending story?

[Andrew Santino]

Falcor.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah, it's packed. Yeah, it's got to be packed.

[Andrew Santino]

Dude. I saw, I read this thing. This is crazy.

[Bobby Lee]

He's an only fans now.

[Andrew Santino]

Oh, he Falco's on of.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh, look at that tongue though. Jesus Christ.

[Andrew Santino]

The never ending penis. It goes on and on and on. Yeah.

[Bobby Lee]

If you were giving Falcor that actual robotic whatever thing, would you display it in your home?

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah.

[Bobby Lee]

Where?

[Andrew Santino]

Front door.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah. Amazing.

[Andrew Santino]

Right at the front window. So people coming up.

[Bobby Lee]

No, I would have get wrapped in my roof.

[Andrew Santino]

Oh, that's smart.

[Bobby Lee]

I think so I put it. Put an Asian like roof. Right. And wrap that things. Oh, that'd be.

[Andrew Santino]

So you have an Asian roof.

[Bobby Lee]

I do, yeah.

[Andrew Santino]

It's on your house.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Wow. Amazing.

[Andrew Santino]

That's funny that your real estate agent will sell your house afterwards and be like and this is an Asian palace. They're like, it doesn't look. It looks Spanish. They're like, wow, it was Bobby Lee's house. Wow, it was an Asian palace.

[Bobby Lee]

Well my. Just by me living in it doesn't give value.

[Andrew Santino]

Are you not King Lee?

[Bobby Lee]

You think you're. You give value to your house?

[Andrew Santino]

I'm just a white. You're King Lee. I'm giving you credit. You're missing a compliment.

[Bobby Lee]

I'm the fraud king. Frog king.

[Andrew Santino]

Fraud king.

[Bobby Lee]

I can't talk today.

[Andrew Santino]

It's all right burnout to drink some of that coffee. Hey, look this up. This is crazy. A guy on the Internet said, you know, when somebody goes, I'm hung like a horse. He's hung like a horse.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah.

[Andrew Santino]

They did like the math comparison of a horse's penis in comparison to the weight of the horse and its size. And technically, look at this. Here you go. The average horse weighs 1,000 pounds.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah.

[Andrew Santino]

And has a 20 in dick. That's a ratio of 50 pounds to 1 inch. So an average man weighing 200 pounds only needs a 4 inch dick to be hung like a horse.

[Bobby Lee]

Wow.

[Andrew Santino]

We're good. Yeah, well, I mean you're much less than 2. How. How much you weigh?

[Bobby Lee]

I'm hung like a giraffe now. Sure, with that metric.

[Andrew Santino]

But isn't that brilliant to think about that's hung like a horse is very average penis.

[Bobby Lee]

Oh, wow. I did not even realize that. News from Spain.

[Andrew Santino]

A day without power. What 12 hours of darkness look like in Spain and Portugal? So I read this. The trains went down. Everything went down. Huh. Would you do fancy. Look at all those fancies.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah.

[Andrew Santino]

I can't catch the bus to that place.

[Bobby Lee]

Look at their bodies. Just like. It's like a fucking village of Porgs.

[Andrew Santino]

It's a porg convention.

[Bobby Lee]

They're all. Wow. It's not your fault then. It's not your. It's the people. My God. It's genetics. Yeah, it's genetics. It's not genetics. It's like that movie Wreck. Remember that movie Wreck?

[Andrew Santino]

Wreck? Yeah.

[Bobby Lee]

You remember that movie? Yeah, Great movie, You know Wreck? Yeah. Did you see Wreck two?

[Diego]

Yeah.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah. And three and four? There's not three and four. There is.

[Andrew Santino]

There is four of those.

[Diego]

Yeah.

[Andrew Santino]

Wow.

[Bobby Lee]

Wow. In an American version called Quarantine. A quarantine? Yeah.

[Andrew Santino]

No, film. Myo film.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah.

[Andrew Santino]

Shut up.

[Bobby Lee]

Rec was good.

[Andrew Santino]

Honestly, dude.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah.

[Andrew Santino]

You're a little snippy today, aren't you?

[Bobby Lee]

So you haven't watched any Last of Us?

[Andrew Santino]

I've never seen the Last of Us, no.

[Bobby Lee]

What? Why?

[Andrew Santino]

I'm stuck. I told you. I'm stuck right now. On the studio, on Apple tv. I was watching that and you haven't seen it, so I. We have. You know, that's a divide.

[Bobby Lee]

Interesting. Okay.

[Andrew Santino]

I got to tell you, it's very meta. It's inside. Inside. Inside. Baseball. Yeah, we get the jokes.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah.

[Andrew Santino]

The problem is I'm so fucking jealous.

[Bobby Lee]

That's why I can't.

[Andrew Santino]

I went to bed last night, so fucking jealous.

[Bobby Lee]

That's why I can't watch it.

[Andrew Santino]

It's cuz I was like, why can't I be just.

[Bobby Lee]

I have friends in it. I cannot watch it.

[Andrew Santino]

Let me be a page.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah, yeah.

[Andrew Santino]

You know, why can't we get work?

[Bobby Lee]

Duh.

[Andrew Santino]

Because of this?

[Bobby Lee]

Probably.

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah. It's got to be a piece of it, right?

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah, yeah. But this is.

[Andrew Santino]

I'm going to email Seth Rogen and ask him if he can cut me out of that one, too. Put me in this, cut me out of it, just so I can be on set for a little while.

[Bobby Lee]

All right.

[Andrew Santino]

Just like the room.

[Bobby Lee]

I'll get cut out, too.

[Andrew Santino]

You'd probably stay.

[Bobby Lee]

We apparently did kill the Pope. Our 266 episode came out the day he died, and he was.

[Andrew Santino]

He was the 266 pope. Are you serious?

[Bobby Lee]

Yes. No, that's confirmed. I knew we had power. I knew it. Oh, my God. Did you see that Pope? Pope Francis as a young man. He was a hottie.

[Andrew Santino]

Was he hot?

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah. A young Pope Francis. Please be right. No, that's that color photo right there. That one. Zoom in.

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah, He's a handsome cat.

[Bobby Lee]

Dude. Look at the eyes, dude.

[Andrew Santino]

Piercing eyes. Those eyes have some Betty Davis's eyes. Betty Dave. Betty Davis eyes.

[Bobby Lee]

That's what it is.

[Andrew Santino]

Ton of music.

[Bobby Lee]

Now he could get girls. He had to resist it.

[Andrew Santino]

Do you think. Don't you think some of these guys are. They're getting top and just not telling anybody?

[Bobby Lee]

You think so?

[Andrew Santino]

I think if you get to heaven and your Pope Francis, he's like, you did so much good. But I do know you were getting your wang sucked.

[Bobby Lee]

But just to get your message that you're gonna get a dove, put a message on it. Put it in the sky. It takes three months for it to come back.

[Andrew Santino]

That's their raya.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah. Yeah. That's their riot. As long as you confess that you're fine.

[Andrew Santino]

If he confesses that he did something bad, Right?

[Bobby Lee]

What are these ones? Hottest Popes. Okay, let's go.

[Andrew Santino]

Take us through the hottest law.

[Bobby Lee]

Or most of them. So I gotta click on this? No, it's gotta be. That guy was not hot.

[Andrew Santino]

That guy's hot.

[Bobby Lee]

His civilian name was Fabio. You know what? He looks like Dirty Harry. You know Dirty Harry is the porn star. Oh, no.

[Andrew Santino]

I thought Dirty Harry the movie.

[Bobby Lee]

Look up Dirty Harry the porn star.

[Andrew Santino]

He does. He does look like Dirty Harry. Dude.

[Bobby Lee]

Dude, that colored one, that's my old landlord.

[Andrew Santino]

I'm not even kidding. That's literally my.

[Bobby Lee]

Go to the first one. Dude, that's the Pope. This dude is.

[Andrew Santino]

Let me guess.

[Bobby Lee]

Animal.

[Andrew Santino]

Let me guess.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah.

[Andrew Santino]

This guy died of a bad, bad disease.

[Bobby Lee]

He's still alive, is he? Yeah, I think dirty hair is still alive. Dirty in the name is great, but he is. Wow. Is he alive? I'm insane, dude.

[Andrew Santino]

Clint Eastwood, Dirty Harry. Make my day so good.

[Bobby Lee]

How does that line go? Make my.

[Andrew Santino]

Go ahead.

[Bobby Lee]

Oh, go my day. Go ahead and make my day.

[Andrew Santino]

Imagine saying that to somebody and then beating the shit out.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah, yeah.

[Andrew Santino]

Go ahead. Make.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah. And your kids are. Your kids are there.

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah.

[Bobby Lee]

No. Yeah.

[Andrew Santino]

Why would you say that to him?

[Bobby Lee]

Tell me about Dirty Harry.

[Andrew Santino]

He was born in the Bronx, New York, in 1951.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah.

[Andrew Santino]

I love how it says he's an actor. Let's see some of his titles. Go. Zoom in. Play Daddy.

[Bobby Lee]

Dude, he was great in Play Daddy.

[Andrew Santino]

Bang Bus. Relax, he's my stepdad.

[Bobby Lee]

I thought he deserved a Golden Globe after that one. Bang Bus.

[Andrew Santino]

I suck. I suck is so good. Cash. Cash for Chunkers for.

[Bobby Lee]

Oh, yeah. He does chunkers.

[Andrew Santino]

I love chunkers.

[Bobby Lee]

You do?

[Andrew Santino]

I think Cash for Chunkers is great.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah. I'd have to get cash for the chunker.

[Andrew Santino]

29 of them.

[Bobby Lee]

He did 29.

[Andrew Santino]

How many films has he done in total? Go back up to the top and I'll show you.

[Bobby Lee]

He's done.

[Andrew Santino]

So how many titles? 323, dude. And he's got one coming.

[Bobby Lee]

Oh, really?

[Andrew Santino]

Pink visual pass.

[Bobby Lee]

Oh, I gotta see that he's keeping up with it. It's released already. Also, I want to do an alert. Can just. Can I just go back on my word about the death and ramen real quick?

[Andrew Santino]

About death and ramen?

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah. I've already done a spell on rival. I know. I feel bad. Is there any way to get rid of that spell?

[Andrew Santino]

Let me read the bottom. Let me see, Let me see. Look in. Let bottom.

[Bobby Lee]

It says, I think I overreacted.

[Andrew Santino]

As the day progresses, those changes will gradually sl. Become more apparent. However, you cannot reverse any of these spells as they are permanent within the universe.

[Bobby Lee]

Oh, my God. I resent the fact that tutu's hair looks better.

[Andrew Santino]

I know. It does look really good, doesn't it?

[Bobby Lee]

Does literally look better. It looked cool.

[Andrew Santino]

He does look good.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah. Yeah. I don't like. There's definitely, like, a tension between me and Carlos Post Trump. Maybe.

[Andrew Santino]

Maybe you think because of Trump's election, you guys have had, like, weird beef.

[Bobby Lee]

No, Since. You know what? Since Bobby was invited to the White House.

[Andrew Santino]

Oh, yeah. Are you going to go to that?

[Bobby Lee]

You're being real. What are you doing? You're talking. Are you being real? Right. You brought up the tension, but it not. That wasn't the tension. It's an overall tension. Oh, okay. What are you doing?

[Andrew Santino]

What?

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah, you. You know what you do? Put gas on the fire. You're a fireman. Let's say I'm stuck in a house, right, And I'm on fire. I run out, and you're a fireman and you just. You throw more gasoline on. You put more gasoline on me.

[Andrew Santino]

45 for 79. It's a Korean family. We're gonna let this one burn.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah. Yeah. That's you.

[Andrew Santino]

No, dude.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah, yeah. You're not on my side half the time, dude. Yeah, that's true.

[Andrew Santino]

You really want to. Do you. What are you doing? What are you doing?

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah, because he's the logic and reasoning behind this.

[Andrew Santino]

Oh, he's a piece of.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah, no, he's on my side all the time.

[Andrew Santino]

He left his daughter in a hot car for hours. Do you know this? They called the cops on him.

[Bobby Lee]

No.

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah. He was going into Ralph's.

[Bobby Lee]

Only ones. I know, but why do you. Dude, you left your child in the hot car. Yeah, five minutes in and out.

[Andrew Santino]

Five minutes.

[Bobby Lee]

Did you get in trouble?

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah, the cops came.

[Bobby Lee]

It was fine. He doesn't want that. This stupid he brought up he tried to murder his daughter.

[Andrew Santino]

He did, yeah. It's generally not safe to leave your child alone in a car. Not even for a few minutes. And you did it for five.

[Bobby Lee]

I love the windows open, though.

[Andrew Santino]

She's not a dog.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah. This is one lady that came out of a casino and they're like, do you know your children are in the car? She's like, I was only gone for 10 minutes. Meanwhile, she had been gambling for 10 hours.

[Andrew Santino]

10 hours, 10 minutes, what's the difference?

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah, Yeah.

[Andrew Santino]

I mean, was she on a heater? If she's on a roll, you got to let her do it.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah.

[Andrew Santino]

Also, those kids. That's her mom. I mean, that they're. That she's the mother. They're going to turn out shitty anyway. What's the difference?

[Bobby Lee]

Why? Because she's black?

[Andrew Santino]

I never. You never even said that.

[Bobby Lee]

That's insane that you would say that.

[Andrew Santino]

You just said she was. She left him in the car.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah. You might as well just say, well, you know, they're used to heat. They're from Africa, you know? I mean, like, what is your mind? Where is your mind today, dude?

[Andrew Santino]

Who made up all this stuff?

[Bobby Lee]

You did.

[Andrew Santino]

I didn't know the race of the woman.

[Bobby Lee]

It was a viral thing, dude.

[Andrew Santino]

I said she's a bad mom because she.

[Bobby Lee]

Damn you.

[Andrew Santino]

Nice try.

[Bobby Lee]

All right. God damn you. All right. Anyway. What is this?

[Andrew Santino]

Police are planning to charge a mother, too, whose children died inside the van of Detroit Casino Garage.

[Bobby Lee]

Wow.

[Andrew Santino]

Oh, they died.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah.

[Andrew Santino]

I saw this. Dude. That was. I was at Vegas last weekend, and I'm telling you what breaks my heart the most is when you see people with babies at like, one in the morning in the casino.

[Bobby Lee]

Jesus. What are you doing?

[Andrew Santino]

I mean, but. But the fact that that's not. How's that not illegal?

[Bobby Lee]

What are you doing?

[Andrew Santino]

You got to be 21 to gamble, right?

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah.

[Andrew Santino]

So it should be like, no babies on the floor also. That's a law.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah.

[Andrew Santino]

Can have babies on the floor.

[Bobby Lee]

What would happen if you did?

[Andrew Santino]

Look at that. No baby babies generally not allowed a casino floor. Yeah, it is. I saw it all fucking weekend. All fucking weekend.

[Bobby Lee]

Do babies get drunk if they have alcohol?

[Jackson]

Yes.

[Andrew Santino]

Oh, if they have. I got hard. Yes. They can come intoxicated from small amounts of alcohol.

[Bobby Lee]

Oh, my God. Imagine your baby drunk.

[Andrew Santino]

Did your dad ever give you the baby? I want to laugh at this bit.

[Bobby Lee]

It's not good. I know. I'm throwing blanks.

[Andrew Santino]

We know you're trying. We're throwing in the sky.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah. It's Nothing's happening.

[Andrew Santino]

Did your dad never like, you know when you were teething? You ever heard this? And they give. They give whiskey on your. On your gums.

[Bobby Lee]

Happen.

[Andrew Santino]

No, we do that. That's a white suit that my mom.

[Bobby Lee]

My dad used to do it with saki. It's not the same thing. It's not the same thing. We're dying.

[Andrew Santino]

If you put a piece of kimchi in your toes.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah, we're dying.

[Andrew Santino]

We're fine.

[Bobby Lee]

Oh, I'm not.

[Andrew Santino]

Cuz you think it's the. You think it's the. The interns that are here?

[Bobby Lee]

Where's these interns? Sit them down here.

[Andrew Santino]

Let's get them camera going.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah.

[Andrew Santino]

What's your name?

[Jackson]

Diego.

[Bobby Lee]

Diego. You know what you are?

[Jackson]

What am I?

[Bobby Lee]

A young Dirty Harry. Look at that mustache.

[Jackson]

What is. Is it bad or is it.

[Bobby Lee]

No, it's a good look.

[Andrew Santino]

No, it's pretty.

[Jackson]

We're kind of like rocking the same thing.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah, mine's a little better.

[Andrew Santino]

A little bit better. That's you right there, Diego.

[Bobby Lee]

That's. You do.

[Andrew Santino]

Diego. What happened? I saw you on the. I pulled in the parking lot, you couldn't get in the bathroom. Couldn't figure it out.

[Jackson]

Door was jammed.

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah, jammed.

[Jackson]

I mean.

[Andrew Santino]

This is the new generation. They don't have to turn.

[Bobby Lee]

You know how to push. Yeah. Let me ask you this guy.

[Jackson]

What's up, guy?

[Bobby Lee]

Are you in?

[Andrew Santino]

Oh, careful.

[Jackson]

Sorry, sorry, sorry.

[Andrew Santino]

Damn. Diego.

[Jackson]

Audrey.

[Bobby Lee]

Sorry.

[Jackson]

Sorry.

[Andrew Santino]

Are you're skating on thin horchata right now?

[Bobby Lee]

I know. Are you in the movie Xanadu? What's up with your shoes, dog?

[Jackson]

Do you like them?

[Bobby Lee]

No.

[Jackson]

Wait, why not?

[Bobby Lee]

What brand is it?

[Andrew Santino]

Latigre.

[Jackson]

They're like the Kill Bill, like yellow type. You know those.

[Bobby Lee]

You think that's yellow?

[Jackson]

No, they're like the same ones as. They Kill Bill Woods.

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah. They're tigers.

[Jackson]

They're tigers.

[Bobby Lee]

Okay. The pants.

[Jackson]

Pants. You don't like them?

[Bobby Lee]

No, I'm just analyzing you, dude. That's what I'm doing.

[Jackson]

I appreciate it.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah.

[Jackson]

Can I analyze you? I like your hat.

[Bobby Lee]

Okay, you wanna. You analyze me and I'll analyze you.

[Jackson]

All right, let's go.

[Bobby Lee]

What? Tip or tat? Tits. All right, all right, go ahead.

[Jackson]

I love your hat. Where's it from?

[Andrew Santino]

It says right on it.

[Bobby Lee]

Yep.

[Jackson]

But made horn.

[Bobby Lee]

Made horn.

[Jackson]

Oh, made.

[Andrew Santino]

Worn.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah.

[Jackson]

Bad vision.

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah, bad vision. What are you, 19, 20?

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah.

[Andrew Santino]

Bad eyes at 20.

[Jackson]

Horrible.

[Andrew Santino]

What's your vision? What's your number?

[Jackson]

Like eight out of whatever it is.

[Andrew Santino]

Eight? No, no, no.

[Jackson]

It's isn't it 20 20, like 820 or. What is it?

[Andrew Santino]

Well, you should. Have you ever been to an eye doctor? Yeah, but do you have contacts?

[Jackson]

I do.

[Andrew Santino]

You don't know your prescription.

[Jackson]

I don't because I don't wear them.

[Andrew Santino]

Do you see what these kids, they don't. What do they know? Can't open a bathroom.

[Bobby Lee]

Don't you thread your eyebrows?

[Jackson]

My barber does them.

[Bobby Lee]

He does my barber.

[Jackson]

Huh?

[Bobby Lee]

They're really nice.

[Jackson]

Yeah. Thank you.

[Andrew Santino]

What's your barber's name?

[Jackson]

His name's George.

[Bobby Lee]

George what?

[Andrew Santino]

Washington. Well, George Washington Carver.

[Bobby Lee]

Oh, yeah.

[Andrew Santino]

He makes peanut butter and does your eyebrows. Yeah, yeah.

[Bobby Lee]

Square. You know what? Yeah. Checking out people is so easy with Square.

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah. It didn't used to be easy. Remember back in the day when you were selling merch after a show?

[Bobby Lee]

Exactly.

[Andrew Santino]

And people had cash or credit cards. You had to go to the club and be like, hey, could you charge this to the thing? And. But if they want to buy a shirt and the club is like, your shirts are stupid. And you're like, I know, I brought 185 of them.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah, but now you have a phone.

[Andrew Santino]

Now you got a phone, right? And you got a square.

[Bobby Lee]

Swipe, swipe, swipe, sweep, swept sweep. Or tap, tap, tap, tap, tap.

[Andrew Santino]

Or tap, tap, tap. Square is incredible. One of the first things we noticed about Square was how easy it is. Running a business involves a lot of moving parts, and Square helps simplify that. The hardware looks polished and it fits right into your space without feeling intrusive. And the software is incredibly straightforward and intuitive. You don't have to need special training. You can just set it up and start taking payments. Get that money immediately.

[Bobby Lee]

I love how flexible Square is. I've seen it work seamlessly for all kinds of businesses. Whether it's a small boutique, a pop art, a gallery, a weekend market stall, a food truck, or even a yoga studio. Square adjusts to what you need. You can sell in person or online from one location or several. It's built to move with you and adapts as your business grows.

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah, they got intuitive. Pos. Square's point of sale system is not only user friendly, but also highly intuitive. And it is. We've taken a lot of payments on Square and it helps you grow. It is there for you all the way, no matter the scale or size of your business. So Square keeps up so you don't have to slow down, get everything you need to run and grow your business without any long term commitments. And why wait?

[Bobby Lee]

Why? Right now you can get up to $200 off square hardware at square.com go badfriends.

[Andrew Santino]

That's square s q U-A-R-E.com g o bad friends. Run your business smarter with Square. Get started.

[Bobby Lee]

Get started today. Homaglow.

[Andrew Santino]

HomeMaglow is a five star home service platform dedicated to making your space clean and tidy. Bobby unfortunately has to hire his nieces to clean his apartment.

[Bobby Lee]

I don't like it.

[Andrew Santino]

Not anymore.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah.

[Andrew Santino]

Now with Homag Glow, their easy online booking capabilities, you can instantly schedul rated cleaners in your area for a special occasion or regularly with their Forever Clean membership. Let me tell you something about Homog Glow that's great is their Forever Clean membership. It saves you $30 an hour on all future cleanings and you can book unlimited cleanings starting at just 19 an hour backed by Homaglow's happiness guarantee. You like to be happy at your home?

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah. And the online cleaning is so easy. It's like online booking capabilities that allow you to instantly schedule a cleaner in your area for a special occasion party or regularly to help take something off your plate.

[Andrew Santino]

How do I know who I'm getting and if they're legit?

[Bobby Lee]

Well, I mean they have a certification process.

[Andrew Santino]

They do. Homogeneous.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah. It's like, you know, I mean they get the best of the best.

[Andrew Santino]

They must.

[Bobby Lee]

And it maintains a 4.8 star average platform rating as well. Also, you can see photos and reviews of background Check cleaners before booking the right cleaner for you.

[Andrew Santino]

That's right. Because a lot of times you book and you're like, who am I getting? What's going on now? They go, hey, here they are. Here's what they've done and here's how good they are. And they're going to get so much cat poop and vomit off of your floor to your house, it's going to be unbelievable. I mean, look, we all want a clean place. Clean place makes you happy on the inside. Why not get happy with Homaglow? Right? So take home cleaning off your plate this summer by using homaglo. Head to homaglow.com badfriends to get your first three hours of cleaning for only $19. Oh my God, that's Homaglow. H O M E A g l o w.com bad friends.

[Bobby Lee]

And how old are you?

[Jackson]

20. About to be 21.

[Bobby Lee]

So you've never had, you know, I've never had.

[Jackson]

I don't know what.

[Bobby Lee]

Well, guess what I was saying.

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah. Figure it out.

[Bobby Lee]

You've Never had.

[Andrew Santino]

Huh? Empanada.

[Bobby Lee]

Yes.

[Jackson]

Never.

[Bobby Lee]

No. Never had empanada. I guess it Right.

[Jackson]

Never.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah. You've never had.

[Jackson]

Spear.

[Bobby Lee]

Yes.

[Jackson]

Oh, yeah, whatever.

[Bobby Lee]

Do you own a spear?

[Jackson]

I never. No, I don't.

[Bobby Lee]

Bingo.

[Andrew Santino]

He's right.

[Jackson]

If you're fishing.

[Bobby Lee]

But that's not the same thing.

[Jackson]

Okay?

[Bobby Lee]

I'm talking about a Viking spear.

[Jackson]

A Viking spear?

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Jackson]

Never seen one.

[Bobby Lee]

Let me do another one. Okay. You've never been.

[Jackson]

Been to Canada?

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah, I've actually.

[Jackson]

I'm actually Canadian.

[Bobby Lee]

I knew it. That's why.

[Jackson]

How'd you know? Wait, how'd you know? How'd you know I was Canadian?

[Bobby Lee]

Look at your weak mustache and your tender face.

[Jackson]

Thank you.

[Andrew Santino]

That's Canadian. Well, you got a new prime minister. Congrats.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah.

[Jackson]

Oh, I didn't even know that. But thank.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah.

[Andrew Santino]

How do you know. You don't know this? What do you guys know? What do you know?

[Jackson]

Yeah, You're a film student, right? Business.

[Andrew Santino]

Oh, you're in business?

[Jackson]

Yeah, but. But I am.

[Bobby Lee]

Can you tell?

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah. Oh, yeah. What are you going to. What. What. What business do you want to do?

[Jackson]

Like social media management. Wait, you guys want to know a crazy story?

[Bobby Lee]

Oh, we. Go ahead. Dirty Harry.

[Jackson]

Speaking of business and all that.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Jackson]

You guys were. Or you had actually gone on Instagram live and I had commented, oh, well, would it be cool if I ever worked for you? And like, would it. And you're like, no, you're never gonna work for us.

[Bobby Lee]

Are you working for us now?

[Jackson]

I'm not.

[Bobby Lee]

I'm just saying, look, are you working for us now?

[Jackson]

I'm not working, but look where I came. Look how far.

[Bobby Lee]

I know, but you're never gonna work. In fact, we're never gonna see you again.

[Andrew Santino]

I'll tell you what, we'll hire you for no money, though. I'll do it. Damn.

[Bobby Lee]

Well, are you seeing somebody?

[Jackson]

I have a girlfriend.

[Bobby Lee]

Is she living here in.

[Andrew Santino]

I heard that little crack in the voice when you say girlfriend. That was good.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah, let's analyze that.

[Jackson]

Wait, what?

[Bobby Lee]

No, hold up.

[Andrew Santino]

He got nervous.

[Bobby Lee]

Girlfriend?

[Jackson]

Yeah, I'm a little nervous.

[Andrew Santino]

How deep is the. Is the relationship?

[Jackson]

Three and a half years. High school sweethearts.

[Andrew Santino]

Wow.

[Bobby Lee]

Wow. You know it's not going to work out, right? But do you know that.

[Jackson]

Say that. Wait, why do you say that?

[Andrew Santino]

It might.

[Bobby Lee]

It never does.

[Jackson]

Wait, why?

[Bobby Lee]

What'd you say? He's autistic.

[Andrew Santino]

Would you show him this?

[Jackson]

I got some of that ism.

[Andrew Santino]

Show him the statistics. That's what he said.

[Bobby Lee]

No, what I'm saying To you is. Is that you're ultimately not where you're going to be. Do you understand what I'm saying? You're going to become successful. We don't know what's going to happen to you. Right.

[Andrew Santino]

2% of all marriages from high school.

[Jackson]

Sweethearts last success comes. I'm just going to like it.

[Bobby Lee]

I've seen it all day, every day, dog.

[Jackson]

Well, I might be the.

[Bobby Lee]

You won't be 2%. No, because when you fill out, you're gonna be a chunk off.

[Andrew Santino]

When was the last time that we had tails connected to our tailbone?

[Bobby Lee]

That's a weird question that you came up.

[Andrew Santino]

A little pain in my tailbone right now. Oh, yeah, yeah, I'm thinking about that. Humans lost our tails 25 million years ago.

[Bobby Lee]

Oh, my God. Really?

[Andrew Santino]

Why did we lose it?

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah, we didn't need it.

[Andrew Santino]

I don't. You know, it'd be nice to sit on a tail.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah, we didn't need it. That's crazy. That's what we used to look like sex with it.

[Andrew Santino]

It's so thick.

[Jackson]

What would you do with your tail if you had a tail?

[Bobby Lee]

Me?

[Jackson]

Yeah.

[Bobby Lee]

I would bling it out, dude.

[Jackson]

What would you do? Bling it out?

[Andrew Santino]

My tail? Yeah, tuck it between my legs.

[Jackson]

You'd be a tucker.

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah, be a tucker for sure.

[Bobby Lee]

Oh, I'll make the tail look like my penis and then I'll. Oh, pull it forward.

[Jackson]

Oh, there you go.

[Andrew Santino]

Hairy.

[Diego]

Or would it have just be skin?

[Andrew Santino]

I would clean it. I'd clean it. I'd. I'd. I'd manscape it.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah, man, I would manscape it too. Yeah, yeah.

[Andrew Santino]

You got to keep some orderly fashion. Yeah. It's wagging around everywhere.

[Bobby Lee]

And also rocket money it. I definitely would rock up on you. Yeah. Yeah.

[Andrew Santino]

You know what happens first time. First time you clean in the shower? You go, hello, fresh.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Jackson]

Look at that.

[Bobby Lee]

Oh, so some people are born with it still.

[Andrew Santino]

Maybe it's Maybelline.

[Bobby Lee]

Wow.

[Andrew Santino]

Was he wearing a jock strap? Why has he got like a line by his butt cheeks?

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah, maybe.

[Diego]

And it's just chubby.

[Andrew Santino]

Chubby baby.

[Jackson]

That just looks like dough or like. Like a. Like clay doesn't even look real.

[Andrew Santino]

You better be careful with your girlfriend. You might have one of these babies with a tail. They say you could. It's the higher percentage that you have a baby with the tail if you get married to your high school sweetheart.

[Jackson]

Oh, great.

[Bobby Lee]

What color is your girlfriend?

[Jackson]

What color?

[Bobby Lee]

Oh. Oh, I get your generation. You guys don't see color.

[Jackson]

No, no, no.

[Bobby Lee]

Is that what it is?

[Jackson]

No, she's same color as me.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Do an Asian accent.

[Andrew Santino]

You can ruin his entire business career.

[Bobby Lee]

Oh, yeah.

[Jackson]

See, I can't do that.

[Bobby Lee]

I can't just do this. Harrow. I do the hell?

[Andrew Santino]

You got permission? Oh, my God. What was the second?

[Jackson]

What was the second?

[Bobby Lee]

I'm Dirty Harry.

[Andrew Santino]

Hello.

[Jackson]

I am Dirty Harry. No, no. What do I need to do? Like, get a little bit more under it or what?

[Bobby Lee]

There we go.

[Jackson]

His is immaculate. You're go. Go ahead.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Andrew Santino]

Dirty.

[Jackson]

My name is Dirty Harry.

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah. This is a bad idea to put this kid through this.

[Bobby Lee]

All right, last exercise we're gonna do. And you can't think about it, you gotta go right into it, okay? You're doing. You're a college professor and we're a film class. And you talk to us about film. And you have to introduce your name and all that stuff. Not your real name. Make it up. Right. Three, two, one. You go. We're kids, okay?

[Jackson]

So welcome, class. My name is Bobby Santino. That's a mix of Korean and Irish. My parents are from. My mom from Korea. My dad's from Ireland. Ironic. I don't know how.

[Bobby Lee]

What about film, dude?

[Jackson]

This is getting to know me, right?

[Andrew Santino]

It's a film class.

[Jackson]

This is getting to know me, right?

[Andrew Santino]

What's this guy doing in the film?

[Bobby Lee]

I don't know. Let's get into the film. A professor.

[Jackson]

So what kind of film did I do? That's a great question. I couldn't tell you because.

[Bobby Lee]

The history of film.

[Jackson]

Oh, the history film.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah. And go blank.

[Jackson]

I would just walk out.

[Bobby Lee]

No, you don't. You don't know how to do improv.

[Andrew Santino]

Is this LA City?

[Jackson]

No, I'm 20 years old.

[Andrew Santino]

This is Quinnipia.

[Bobby Lee]

You just need skates that we.

[Jackson]

Yeah, I'm part of that group. Yeah.

[Diego]

All right.

[Bobby Lee]

Let's bring the other incel in.

[Andrew Santino]

Other do I. Intern.

[Bobby Lee]

Intern. I mean. Oh, yeah. Intern.

[Andrew Santino]

Tap it. Tap them in.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah. Oh, look at this guy. Dude.

[Andrew Santino]

Thank you, Ronaldo. Hey, we like him.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah, we like him a lot.

[Diego]

Hey, how's it going?

[Andrew Santino]

You know.

[Diego]

All right. Can. I gotta say this because it's been. It's been burning me. All right. Bobby, you always transition with this word. A L, s, O. But you pronounce it. Oh, so. And it gets under my skin. And now that I've said that, I don't feel.

[Bobby Lee]

Give me the example of when I.

[Andrew Santino]

Said, oh, so don't get under this guy's skin. Don't want to be Don't. Don't want to catch you at a music festival anytime soon.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah, Yeah.

[Diego]

I feel clean now that I said that, so.

[Bobby Lee]

I appreciate you, but what I give you an example. I have no idea what you're talking about.

[Diego]

Oh, Andrew, also, I am gonna be hanging out with Klila later. You say also instead of also, so.

[Andrew Santino]

And also, he's saying you say O.

[Bobby Lee]

With no L. Yeah, also.

[Diego]

I'm not joking, but that's all I got. But, yeah.

[Bobby Lee]

Have you ever noticed that?

[Andrew Santino]

No, but I do notice that fanny pack, and it's giving me the.

[Bobby Lee]

Let me guess what's in your fanny pack? You want to guess?

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah.

[Bobby Lee]

A Swiss army knife.

[Andrew Santino]

Gun. First thing, gun. Gun. First thing, gun.

[Diego]

You know what? I actually did bring a gun on here. No, just kidding. I scared you. I scared you.

[Bobby Lee]

I don't know about this guy, dude.

[Andrew Santino]

What's in there? Open up your fan.

[Diego]

I'll show you.

[Andrew Santino]

By the way, how much does this guy love Asian women?

[Bobby Lee]

A lot.

[Andrew Santino]

Loves. This is the kind of guy that loves Asian women.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah.

[Andrew Santino]

It's like everyone you work with, you're.

[Bobby Lee]

Gonna live in 20 years. The Philippine Islands.

[Andrew Santino]

Who. Are you dating someone right now?

[Diego]

Yeah, I am, but.

[Andrew Santino]

Is she Asian?

[Diego]

She's not, but you know what I'm do? I'm practicing ethical non monogamy, so I'm allowed to explore.

[Andrew Santino]

Wait a minute. That's. It's called ethical non monogamy.

[Diego]

I'll tell you about it.

[Andrew Santino]

So you tell your girlfriend, hey, we're gonna sleep with other people.

[Diego]

Y. Yeah. So basically, if I talk to her, I have open communication.

[Bobby Lee]

I don't like the way you say that.

[Andrew Santino]

Well, that's because he's Eastern European.

[Diego]

No, just kidding.

[Andrew Santino]

He looks like it, though, doesn't he?

[Bobby Lee]

Where are you from?

[Diego]

I'm from here, but I'm. I have a lot of friends from all over the place. And then I develop fake accents and fake personalities.

[Bobby Lee]

Whoa. Let's do a East. That's how we got the internship. Like, let's go with. I want to stick with it. An East European.

[Andrew Santino]

Are you a sociopath?

[Diego]

Hello, Bobby. My name is Jackson. It's good to meet you, man. I'll tell you what, dude. Meet me down at the casino. We could play some blackjack. You know what I'm saying?

[Bobby Lee]

Pretty good, dude.

[Andrew Santino]

Sure.

[Bobby Lee]

Go into another one, another. Watch any kind of character that you play.

[Diego]

Dude, what's going on? Dude, I'm from North Carolina, and I fly a damn airplane. And, you know, I chew dip on the side of the road sometimes. And I gotta spit it out there, but the damn raccoons be eating it up, and I don't know what to do at that point, man.

[Bobby Lee]

Okay. That's Theo. Yeah, for sure. You have any suggestions?

[Andrew Santino]

I just hope we're not on a kill list.

[Diego]

Yeah, I'm. I'm a lover. That's actually my.

[Andrew Santino]

That's the first thing they say.

[Bobby Lee]

All right.

[Andrew Santino]

As they're stabbing you to death.

[Bobby Lee]

How about this? A sensitive vampire.

[Diego]

A sensitive vampire.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah.

[Diego]

There's light all. Hey, how's it going?

[Andrew Santino]

No, sensitive vampire is. Would it be okay if I suck your blood? I don't want to impose.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah, yeah, that's good. Give him another. One last one. Give him one last character.

[Andrew Santino]

Shy. Bill Cosby.

[Diego]

I actually saw Bill Cosby before it went crazy, and he's kind of like, before.

[Andrew Santino]

Before they. You know, it went crazy.

[Diego]

I kind of want to eat the hoagie, but I don't know.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah, that's a pretty good North Carolina guy, dude. Wow. Can I see your teeth with a smile? Yeah, it's nice.

[Diego]

I actually. Part of the reason for my body looking so up is I actually called on the show one time to tell you guys about this is that, like, I found out that my biological mom is actually my cousin. I called you guys on the phone about that one time. Nobody could tell, and that's why I.

[Bobby Lee]

Look, you're inbred.

[Diego]

Basically, what happened is my mom, who gave birth to me, her eggs were all fucked up, so then they put an egg on my cousin, so then my whole family tree shifted. And I also have a lot of Neanderthal lenses, DNA. But, dude, that doesn't mean that I can't have a good time. You know what I'm saying?

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah, no, it sounds like your family has a real good time. Your mom is your cousin.

[Diego]

Yeah, so biologically my mother. So he's my great aunt.

[Andrew Santino]

So they use your. Your mom's cousin's eggs.

[Diego]

They use my cousin's eggs, but it's my mom. My. My mother.

[Andrew Santino]

Your mother could.

[Diego]

Her niece put egg. And then I spawned. And now I'm here, ready to rumble.

[Andrew Santino]

Did anyone regret that your cousin is your mother biologically?

[Diego]

Yes.

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah. Your cousin's your mom. Your actual mom is the woman who. Who pushed you out of her body is your cousin. No, no, no.

[Diego]

That's my great aunt.

[Andrew Santino]

That's his aunt.

[Bobby Lee]

Oh, wow.

[Andrew Santino]

Technically his. Yeah, that would be his. Right? That'd be your great aunt.

[Diego]

But my mom, who. Who pushed me out of her body, she looks up to you. Because she's in the. The program and she talks about it and how you're a good influence on the program.

[Bobby Lee]

But where'd she live?

[Diego]

She lives. She used to live in la and now she lives in Northern California.

[Bobby Lee]

Wow. And you're. Would. You grew up in California?

[Diego]

Yeah, I grew up in. I was born in Burbank, and then I moved up to Northern California, and then I went on a couple of alien spaceship travel adventures, and now I'm back here. Somehow I wound up back here.

[Bobby Lee]

When you say an alien spaceship, do you mean Sandy Hook?

[Diego]

Listen, man, like I said, the only guns I have are these ones right here.

[Bobby Lee]

Do the gun thing. I swear to God, dude, we're never gonna see you again. No more gun arm jokes.

[Diego]

I'll show you. I'm not.

[Andrew Santino]

Don't, don't, don't.

[Bobby Lee]

Slow down, slow down, dude.

[Andrew Santino]

Show me your hands.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah. What does that say?

[Diego]

I got some thing here.

[Bobby Lee]

What is that?

[Andrew Santino]

Hand sanitizer, Sleeping mask.

[Diego]

Yeah, I got a battery pack from the casino. Because I do go. Yeah, I'm learning poker.

[Bobby Lee]

This guy is unbelievable.

[Andrew Santino]

No medication you're on, man.

[Diego]

Dude, I'll tell you. I take a daily dose of good vibes and also anxiety. And then you combine those two and.

[Andrew Santino]

You take anxiety medication?

[Diego]

No, I don't.

[Andrew Santino]

You don't take any medication?

[Diego]

I. I am on copious amounts of caffeine. Maybe that's considered how many cups of coffee I drink. Roughly about 400 milligrams per day, which is about four cups of coffee a day. But if I want to, I push the limits. Maybe there's assignment I got to deal with, you know, maybe 6, 800. We pushing, you know, but my heart is pumping, so I'm alive and I'm.

[Andrew Santino]

It would do that without the coffee, you know?

[Diego]

Yeah, it just goes a little faster.

[Andrew Santino]

And it certainly does.

[Bobby Lee]

How many times have you been at Burning man, dude?

[Diego]

I've never been by. Gone a couple of raves here and there. I like to turn up. But I'm sober at the raves, which is funny. All my friends are, like, rolling and tripping out, and I'm just, like, pumping my fist on caffeine.

[Andrew Santino]

Just stop waving those guns around.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah, it's scaring us.

[Andrew Santino]

Wait a minute. So you're sober? Completely, yeah.

[Diego]

No, for the most part, I like to live a sober lifestyle, but I. Because of all the addiction in my family stuff. But I've never actually been sober. I. I like whiskey. I've been trying to experiment a little bit, but I'm not like Drunk. I'm just for the flavor. Like an old man. And I'm 23.

[Bobby Lee]

Interesting.

[Andrew Santino]

Well, how's the dating life?

[Diego]

It's great. Like I said, ethical non monogamy. It's a lot of fun.

[Bobby Lee]

Do you. Don't you have a girlfriend but you're practicing ethical non.

[Diego]

Yeah.

[Andrew Santino]

Okay, so they're hooking up. They're hooking up with other people. And is she allowed to?

[Diego]

Yeah.

[Andrew Santino]

Did she tell you about it?

[Diego]

Yeah, she does. And she's bisexual, so it's mostly women, which is a good time for me.

[Andrew Santino]

That's the dream.

[Diego]

But you know.

[Bobby Lee]

You guys live together?

[Diego]

I. No, not yet.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah, because that's one thing.

[Andrew Santino]

Well, it'd be hard to live together and so many other people.

[Bobby Lee]

I mean, get a camera set up in her place.

[Diego]

I trust her.

[Bobby Lee]

No.

[Andrew Santino]

Well, she tells.

[Bobby Lee]

My feeling is it's not. It's bad.

[Andrew Santino]

Why? She tells him.

[Diego]

They tell each other tells me. And. And that's.

[Andrew Santino]

Does she show you photos of the.

[Diego]

Guys respect each other and it's like I said, it's mostly women.

[Andrew Santino]

Oh, it's mostly women.

[Diego]

Because I don't have that.

[Bobby Lee]

I don't think so. My gut says it's mostly men.

[Diego]

Well.

[Bobby Lee]

And real men.

[Diego]

I know you're also, you were had a pass with Ozempic and stuff. So maybe your gut might be a little wrong here. But I don't know. I respect.

[Bobby Lee]

He's a doctor. Dude. I knew it.

[Diego]

Dude, I'm actually thinking about getting texting the cops.

[Bobby Lee]

Hello fresh. I love hello Fresh, my friend. Do you know why?

[Andrew Santino]

Why?

[Bobby Lee]

Babe, I don't have a lot of time.

[Andrew Santino]

You have almost no time.

[Bobby Lee]

Right. And then also I want high quality.

[Andrew Santino]

Food and it's quick and home cooked.

[Bobby Lee]

Yes.

[Andrew Santino]

And you want to schedule every week. And how easy is it? Because it goes to where? Where do you get the. Does it. Do you have to go pick it up somewhere?

[Bobby Lee]

No, it goes delivers right to your door.

[Andrew Santino]

And your door.

[Bobby Lee]

Do you like panko crusted chimichurri maramondi.

[Andrew Santino]

Or sun dried tomato grilled cheese sandwiches? Well, guess what? They're there. Plus over 100 seasonal snack sides and treats. Because this summer hellofresh is going to make it even easier to enjoy delicious healthy, homemade quality meals with their new ready made meals.

[Bobby Lee]

My mouth is already watering looking at the southwest inspired chicken bowl and the stir fried udon with pulled pork and veggies. There's also a creamy Alfredo truffle. You know I love pasta. Indian sparred chicken paired with turmeric rice.

[Andrew Santino]

Guys, you can choose from 60 recipes every week including prep and bacon, ready made meals and plus 100 plus market items to add on to breakfast, lunch and more. They delivered right to your doorstep. So flexible. We've been using them for so long. You know we love Hallow Fresh. Bobby.

[Bobby Lee]

Tell them how to make your summer enjoyable and delicious by signing up to [e-mail] Bad Friends 10fm and get 10 free meals with a free item for life.

[Andrew Santino]

That's right, that's HelloFresh.com Bad Friends 10FM for 10 free meals and a free item in every box. HelloFresh.com Bad Friends 10fm one per box with an active subscription. Free meals are applied as a discount on the first box. New subscribers only. Varies by planning True Classic you want.

[Bobby Lee]

To look like Paul Newman.

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah, he was so cool.

[Bobby Lee]

You want to look like Marlon Brando.

[Andrew Santino]

Classic Fits Classic Fitz Guy Classic because the mission goes beyond fit and fabric. It's about helping guys show up with the confidence and purpose. Bobby Lee has confidence and purpose. Okay? It comes from things like this. The gear fits right, you feel amazing, and it's priced so guys everywhere can step into confidence without stepping out of their budget.

[Bobby Lee]

Do you know why I like True Classic?

[Andrew Santino]

Why?

[Bobby Lee]

Because I'm classic.

[Andrew Santino]

You are. And you're true.

[Bobby Lee]

I'm dude, I'm truer than you.

[Andrew Santino]

That's right.

[Bobby Lee]

Most people.

[Andrew Santino]

You're the most true.

[Bobby Lee]

I've been wearing True Classic for a while now and you can feel the difference the moment you throw one on. Tailored where you want it, relaxed where you need it. No bunching, no stiff fabric, no bs. Just a clean, effortless fit that actually works for real life.

[Andrew Santino]

The True Classic basics are my favorite because the basic tees you can wear. I wear them sometimes around the crib, sometimes when I'm watching tv playing with the pup in the backyard when I'm taking a walk.

[Bobby Lee]

When I'm sexy.

[Andrew Santino]

When you wear that. Well, I do look a sexy boy when I'm taking it. When I'm even going to meetings and stuff. That's the best part. They look high end, but they're not overpriced. Like these designer fabrics. You can ditch that disposable fast fashion. True Classic is built for comfort, built to last, and built to give back. You can grab them at Target, Costco or head to truclassic.com badfriends and get hooked up today.

[Diego]

Nah, the only threat I am is to if you're having a bad time, you're gonna be having a good time. And that's not a sexual innuendo.

[Bobby Lee]

Those lines work still with women?

[Diego]

Yeah. Dude. My best line with women is like, look, is there a mirror in your pants? Because I can see myself in them. It's a working. It goes 10 out of 10. You know, their legs are trembling.

[Andrew Santino]

You hear a clam getting wet.

[Bobby Lee]

We're gonna die today. Yeah.

[Andrew Santino]

This is it.

[Bobby Lee]

That's when we looked at each other, we knew we were gonna die today. Yeah. Thank you. My God, don't kill us, please.

[Andrew Santino]

What do you plan on doing when you get older?

[Diego]

I like the bad.

[Bobby Lee]

What's your goal?

[Diego]

My goal? In life or what?

[Bobby Lee]

No, in somebody else's life. Maybe Harry Truman.

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah. Harry. Esther.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Andrew Santino]

What's your goal in life?

[Diego]

My goal in life is to make enough money that I don't have to worry about bills.

[Bobby Lee]

How much money is that?

[Diego]

That's maybe a hundred thousand a year. That's a good level for me. And then I just want to make cool art and enjoy the world and practice mindfulness and creativity. I want to also make movies. I'm in film school right now.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah, well, you know what? I bet you he's a better director than you are, bud. Okay, I trust him before you, bud.

[Andrew Santino]

I don't.

[Diego]

I can direct.

[Bobby Lee]

Can you get financing?

[Diego]

Yeah, I can get financing. Sometimes it's a little under the table, you know? You know, it's Hollywood.

[Andrew Santino]

This kid is from the eastern block. He's not from Burbank.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah.

[Andrew Santino]

This kid is from the eastern block.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah.

[Andrew Santino]

There's no doubt Inland Empire. The way he talks. There's little Russian in the background.

[Bobby Lee]

Oh, they a little.

[Andrew Santino]

He's got a little sneak in there.

[Bobby Lee]

Where were you really born?

[Diego]

I was born in Burbank. California.

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah, Burbank. Like I said, I hear it, dude.

[Diego]

I was born in Burbank. Moscow.

[Andrew Santino]

See? Burbank Hospital.

[Bobby Lee]

Say Gulag.

[Diego]

Gulag. Welcome to the gulag. Call of Duty, man. You play.

[Andrew Santino]

See?

[Diego]

Let's get it, bro.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Andrew Santino]

That's how they talk.

[Bobby Lee]

I know. There's something about him.

[Diego]

It's a good meme, bro.

[Andrew Santino]

Are you good or bad?

[Bobby Lee]

I think there's a combination of both.

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah.

[Diego]

Bobby, I've seen you one time, like, polling in real life. I saw you at the Comedy Store and you were getting mobbed by a lot of women, and I was like, good on you.

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah.

[Bobby Lee]

Did you say anything to me that night?

[Diego]

No, I just watched it from a distance. I said, hi, but you're busy, bro. You. You're busy, you know, navigating the precious.

[Bobby Lee]

Well, my friends are there, so you.

[Andrew Santino]

Know, let's go over preventing gun violence here. Let's. Signs of a shooter.

[Bobby Lee]

Critical signs. Yeah, yeah. Number one, suddenly with. Zoom in please. Okay.

[Andrew Santino]

Do you withdraw from friends and activities?

[Diego]

No, very social. Pretty social. Yeah.

[Andrew Santino]

Excessive irritability. Yeah, that one's up there.

[Diego]

Yeah, I like one time I heard fireworks going off and I just hit the deck. I thought it was something else.

[Bobby Lee]

This for sure. Experiencing chronic loneliness or social isolation.

[Diego]

Yeah, I play games, dude.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah.

[Diego]

On the Internet.

[Andrew Santino]

Making direct threats towards a place another person of themselves. You ever done that?

[Diego]

Only the haters.

[Andrew Santino]

There you go.

[Bobby Lee]

Do you have any guns or at home?

[Diego]

No, just samurai sword number 10.

[Bobby Lee]

That's. That's worse.

[Andrew Santino]

Cruelty to animals. Have you ever been mean to an any animal?

[Diego]

No, I love animals.

[Andrew Santino]

Good, then you're clean.

[Diego]

I really do love animals.

[Andrew Santino]

That is the testament for me if you're.

[Diego]

I just moved in with some little wiener dogs and.

[Andrew Santino]

What do you mean? They had an apartment and they put out an ad. Four little wiener dogs put out a.

[Bobby Lee]

So they.

[Diego]

The wiener dogs, they look nice, but then they are fairly football shaped and.

[Andrew Santino]

In need of human roommate who will pick up poop, get us food and also pick up our poop. Please walk us.

[Diego]

But it's kind of like a football and I didn't want to hurt the dogs, but it's just one of those.

[Andrew Santino]

Oh, that's my dog. How many dogs are in the house?

[Diego]

There's three. And then me, of course. Because I'm an animal. I'm a creature feature. You know what I'm saying?

[Bobby Lee]

My guys for sure you hide your.

[Andrew Santino]

Kids, hide your wife.

[Diego]

Because they're gonna fall in love, dude. That's why you gotta hide.

[Andrew Santino]

Well, because you know they'll end up a member of the family. Of the family, you know?

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah, that's what I'm gonna say. Also thank you.

[Andrew Santino]

How's your also also?

[Diego]

Yeah, yeah, thank you.

[Bobby Lee]

That didn't play. But anyway, I'm by a bombing today. Well, you know, you're a very interesting guy, dude.

[Andrew Santino]

Consensual nominal.

[Diego]

I'm an open book.

[Bobby Lee]

I think he's. He could be in the crew. Just promises you won't kill us.

[Diego]

I won't kill you, I promise.

[Bobby Lee]

Ever.

[Diego]

I'll defend you with my life.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah.

[Diego]

If there's a rhino coming down the road, I will not be able to stop it. But I'll try.

[Andrew Santino]

Where are we with the rhino? You never know there rhinos in Burbank.

[Diego]

Have you seen Babylon? Dude, they've got animals hooking off trucks every day. So who knows there's a stray rhino. I'll defend you, Bobby. I won't stop it, but I'll try.

[Bobby Lee]

You know I like you.

[Diego]

Thank you. I like you.

[Andrew Santino]

What's that?

[Bobby Lee]

You like him?

[Andrew Santino]

You know. Yeah, yeah, yeah, I do like.

[Bobby Lee]

I do.

[Andrew Santino]

I do like him.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah, yeah.

[Andrew Santino]

There's something special about him, you know, I feel like he's got something extra. Like a chromosome or something.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah. And do you have brothers and sisters?

[Diego]

Oh, that's where it gets complicated. Right?

[Bobby Lee]

I love. Okay, we don't want to go down.

[Andrew Santino]

No, no, I do.

[Bobby Lee]

I want to hear the complication.

[Diego]

I'll tell you. So I got one brother and like.

[Andrew Santino]

And he's my dad. And I have an uncle who's also my brother. You're not gonna believe this. My sister is my mom.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah.

[Andrew Santino]

My cousin is my dog. Yeah. Is my dog.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah, yeah.

[Andrew Santino]

What is it? Tell us.

[Diego]

And DNA is a double helix.

[Andrew Santino]

That is true.

[Diego]

Okay, it gets complicated.

[Bobby Lee]

But tell me about your family.

[Diego]

I'll tell you. I'll tell you. So I had a brother. I always knew he had brother. I always knew he was my brother. I have him still. He is 13 years older than me and he's an interesting fellow. He's going to be moving to Thailand. He's a dj, but he still lives with his mom and stuff. But he's cool.

[Bobby Lee]

He's moving to Thailand. He's also a dj.

[Andrew Santino]

Oh, why else would you go to Thailand?

[Bobby Lee]

The FBI dude.

[Andrew Santino]

No, dude, that's who moves to Thailand. Dj and then DJ Island.

[Diego]

This is the cool part or the crazy part is that essentially my second cousins who I thought were just some distant ass relatives. They're my biological siblings now.

[Bobby Lee]

Dude, dude, dude.

[Diego]

Hell yeah, dude. White Trash baby.

[Andrew Santino]

So Burbank. Who would have known? Where do you live? In Norcal. Where? In Northern California.

[Diego]

I used to live an hour north of San Francisco.

[Andrew Santino]

Where?

[Diego]

So that's out in the wine country. It's called Santa Rosa Loi.

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah.

[Diego]

Yeah. So then there's a lot of animals out there. I probably got some brain damage. One time I drank a puddle. I drank. I drank a puddle for $5. Cuz you know when you're a kid, dude. $5. $5.

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah.

[Diego]

So I drank a puddle and then now I'm here.

[Andrew Santino]

Drank a brain eating amoeba and even the amoeba got up there and was like not much to chew on.

[Bobby Lee]

Crazy. Crazy.

[Andrew Santino]

I'm just going to hang out for.

[Bobby Lee]

What else have you eaten?

[Diego]

A drink and that besides mountain bodily Fluids on accident a couple times.

[Andrew Santino]

A couple times?

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah. Yeah. Like your pee.

[Andrew Santino]

One time. Shame on me. Two time. I like to taste the pee.

[Diego]

Players up, man. That's what happens.

[Andrew Santino]

Players got to play players. Players got to play players.

[Bobby Lee]

Wow.

[Andrew Santino]

But fancy. Get it out clean if you're gonna get it out. God, every time.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah. I think you're rubbing off on me, dude.

[Andrew Santino]

I don't even know what I'm gonna stumble like this.

[Bobby Lee]

I know you, dude.

[Diego]

So, Bobby, I was wondering, can you give me some advice? I'm trying to learn.

[Bobby Lee]

On what?

[Diego]

On how to just be out in the world. Like, in this crazy world.

[Bobby Lee]

Oh, okay. So I think you need more flames.

[Diego]

Okay.

[Bobby Lee]

On your body.

[Diego]

You're right.

[Bobby Lee]

Like flamey pants, like, on fire. Or, you know, like, you know, flame stitchings on your jeans.

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah. He means, like, Guy Fieri.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah.

[Diego]

I met Guy Fieri.

[Andrew Santino]

Go on.

[Bobby Lee]

Doesn't surprise me.

[Andrew Santino]

Go on.

[Diego]

Yeah.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah. So that. I think you need some chain mail.

[Diego]

Chain mail?

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Andrew Santino]

Look at that's. Pretty cumbersome, I think. Chain. An entire bodysuit of chain.

[Bobby Lee]

Just a chest. Chain mail.

[Diego]

I was considering going to the Ren Fair, and I saw you were out there, and I was thinking, you know, maybe I should get some chain mail out there.

[Andrew Santino]

How'd you meet Guy Fieri?

[Diego]

I'll tell you. I was a DJ technician, so I was setting up cables.

[Bobby Lee]

They have technicians.

[Diego]

They always put me in the grunt work. So I was out in the dark, freaking setting up cables. And then they were having some kind of Salvation army event donation, and Guy Fear is walking around. So I said, what's up? I took a picture with him, and then my boss got mad at me, but I took it on the chin because I'm. I'm not a beta male. I don't tuck my tail as we were talking.

[Andrew Santino]

Whoa. Shots at me.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah.

[Diego]

Ready to rumble.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah. Well, is that the biggest celebrity you've ever met?

[Diego]

The biggest celebrity that I ever met is probably PewDiePie. Who's the. One of the biggest YouTubers.

[Andrew Santino]

I don't know who that is, actually. No.

[Diego]

You know what? The biggest celebrity I've ever met is Bobby Lee.

[Andrew Santino]

That's true.

[Diego]

Dude.

[Bobby Lee]

What's his name?

[Diego]

Anderson. I saw Bobby Lee.

[Bobby Lee]

I thought you had forgotten.

[Diego]

In the border.

[Bobby Lee]

That would have been great. Enough. All right.

[Andrew Santino]

He looks just like you.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah. As you met him.

[Andrew Santino]

Are his cousins married?

[Bobby Lee]

If I asked him. Do you remember?

[Diego]

Oh, hell, no.

[Andrew Santino]

I remember him. Yeah. He freed me out. How obviously foreign is this guy?

[Diego]

Yeah, he's from Sweden.

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah. No shit.

[Diego]

Yeah.

[Andrew Santino]

You know, see, you look just like this fucking guy, dude.

[Diego]

Hey, that's pretty cool.

[Andrew Santino]

You do. Doesn't he look like this guy?

[Bobby Lee]

Am I sure the same type of guy?

[Diego]

Yeah. So right along with the style. Like flames on the pants. What else should I do? I'm trying to up my. You know, I'm a new.

[Bobby Lee]

I'll be honest with you. With your look, I could see him in Game of Thrones or something. You know, I mean like a weasel or something, right?

[Diego]

Yeah.

[Bobby Lee]

But you do have. You are kind of oddly good looking in a weird way.

[Andrew Santino]

Nope.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah, you're not seeing it.

[Andrew Santino]

I'm not.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah.

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah, he looks like a nice guy, Jude Law.

[Bobby Lee]

But Jude Law was in an accident.

[Andrew Santino]

He looks like Jude Law.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah, look up Jude Law.

[Diego]

I'll tell you though, you mentioned weasel. And I like to consider myself a certified lord.

[Bobby Lee]

A young. A young Judah.

[Diego]

So, like, I'd be loitering around, waiting, weaseling out, you know.

[Andrew Santino]

I don't think he looks anything like that.

[Bobby Lee]

Quiet. Those are old Jude Laws.

[Diego]

Oh, dang.

[Bobby Lee]

I think I'm wrong. Yeah, no, like there. Boom.

[Andrew Santino]

Nope.

[Bobby Lee]

There you are, dude. Yeah, see, look at. Oh, no, it's more Romulan. Yeah, it's a Romulan. As I was thinking. Yeah. Wow.

[Diego]

Yeah. I think that I did have a cameo in Game of Thrones. I was one of those guys who just instant got Archer down. I fell off the wall.

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah.

[Bobby Lee]

Are you being real?

[Diego]

No.

[Andrew Santino]

Oh, couldn't tell.

[Bobby Lee]

No, no. He's confusing.

[Andrew Santino]

Yes. Yeah, yeah, he is confusing.

[Bobby Lee]

All right, bud. Well, you know, we. Very good interview.

[Diego]

Thank you.

[Andrew Santino]

You remember his name, do you? You don't remember his name? He said it three times.

[Diego]

I'll tell you again.

[Bobby Lee]

No, give me the first.

[Andrew Santino]

Give him a hint.

[Diego]

First initial, J. J is the. No.

[Bobby Lee]

Jason. You're Jake. It's partly Jason Jackson.

[Diego]

Yep. There you go. Now you know who they call the cops about. Am I right? Yeah, dude, this guy I got.

[Bobby Lee]

I love this guy.

[Diego]

Don't give me a restraining order because like I said, I speak a lot of languages, but my favorite language is the language of love. And I'm not it. I'm not here to.

[Bobby Lee]

And you pick it so much.

[Diego]

I also speak Jigglypuff. Hey. Oh, hum.

[Bobby Lee]

Well, what's Jigglypuff?

[Diego]

The Pokemon do more. Yeah, dude, Jigglypuff.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah. Two more, please.

[Diego]

Jigglypuff goes hard. I don't know if you've seen, but.

[Bobby Lee]

Give me what you. We can do Jigglypuff. Give me an YouTube give me what he sounds like. All right, I'll turn it off. I can't do it.

[Andrew Santino]

It's saying, oh, Jigglypuff. That's literally what I'm saying. Oh, Jigglypuff.

[Bobby Lee]

Oh.

[Diego]

I'm not gay, but I just felt something. I just.

[Bobby Lee]

Did you feel something?

[Diego]

Seren me, man.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah, look at my eye. No, don't look at me in the eyes. Oh my.

[Andrew Santino]

Dude, this guy reminds me of when we would do fan meet and greets.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah.

[Andrew Santino]

And this. And this guy would show off.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah.

[Andrew Santino]

And. And he'd be like, dude, I. Andrew, I'm sorry, but I just, I love Bobby, so. And I go, I know, dude.

[Diego]

Andrew, I know.

[Andrew Santino]

I know who your fans are. I know who your fans are. Give me some comments. No, no, no, I don't want any. I got to be honest. I can tell who your fans are. What do I say? Well, from a mile away when they come up, I go, Bobby's fan. Hardcore Bobby's fan.

[Diego]

I actually really like your stand up comedy.

[Andrew Santino]

Thank you. I love you.

[Bobby Lee]

Let him finish, let him finish.

[Andrew Santino]

I love you, buddy. Here, I just, I could just tell from.

[Bobby Lee]

Go, go ahead, finish.

[Diego]

So I, I love your, your stand up comedy. It's really witty.

[Andrew Santino]

Thanks.

[Diego]

And I've never like seen your pubes on stage or anything. Like. No, like another comedian who I've probably seen.

[Andrew Santino]

Oh, that's what it is. He's connected to your pubes. Stand up, stand up and show him your puke.

[Bobby Lee]

Would you like some to take home?

[Andrew Santino]

Give him something to take home. Can we get some scissors real fast?

[Bobby Lee]

Give me scissors. Would you take some home?

[Andrew Santino]

Give him some to go. Pubes.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah, yeah.

[Andrew Santino]

Isn't that sick?

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah.

[Andrew Santino]

Oh, not a knife. Oh my God. Get scissors.

[Bobby Lee]

Well, give me that knife.

[Andrew Santino]

No, no, no, dude, don't cut yourself. No, no, don't do that. No, you'll cut yourself. Don't get the scissors.

[Diego]

Oh my God.

[Bobby Lee]

I wanna. Well, I have to sing the song while we're doing it. I do it, I do it, I do it. Giggles I don't have any pubes.

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah, you do.

[Bobby Lee]

Look.

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah, there's some there. You got to go to. To your nut sack. Go close to your nut sack. Be careful, bud. You do it then you put your ball sack.

[Bobby Lee]

You do it then the ball sack is shave and clean.

[Andrew Santino]

There's nothing.

[Bobby Lee]

No, hit this section right here.

[Andrew Santino]

Oh no. It's so close to your penis.

[Bobby Lee]

It's. I don't care. I know. See, how do you grab it though? That's the problem.

[Andrew Santino]

You scoop it off your chest there.

[Bobby Lee]

Can you just scoop it up?

[Andrew Santino]

I can't. Come here, buddy. You gotta get these.

[Diego]

I'll come.

[Bobby Lee]

No, no, no, no. Back up. Sit back.

[Diego]

All right, all right.

[Bobby Lee]

We'll deliver to you.

[Diego]

Understood. I understood the assignment.

[Andrew Santino]

Now, you could. You could. You know what you could do? You could sniff these scissors.

[Diego]

Hey, man, I drink a puddle. So anything for money at this point.

[Bobby Lee]

What would you do? I have a hundred bucks in my pocket. What would you do for a hundred bucks?

[Diego]

I'd do anything for 100 bucks from Bobby Lee, man. Except some. Some sexual acts that.

[Bobby Lee]

No, we're not doing that. We're not doing that.

[Andrew Santino]

How about. How about. Brown knows him. Brown knows him. Lay on the ground. You gotta stick your.

[Bobby Lee]

Stick this in your butthole.

[Diego]

I'm down for some experimentation. Right?

[Bobby Lee]

Stick this in your butthole.

[Andrew Santino]

This is monogamous. Not monogamous.

[Diego]

I'll tell you what.

[Bobby Lee]

What?

[Diego]

I'll give you some insight just because I like you guys.

[Andrew Santino]

Oh, thanks, brother.

[Bobby Lee]

Thank, brother.

[Diego]

All right. I've tried some kind of stuff along those lines before, and you know what? It's pretty fun, dude. And look, I'm telling you, man.

[Andrew Santino]

Well, give me that thing. There you go.

[Diego]

I'm secure in my masculinity, dude, but listen, when Voldemort is coming for me, dude, in both ways, you know?

[Bobby Lee]

What are you talking.

[Andrew Santino]

What are you talking about, dog?

[Diego]

It's a little bit of a cursed object. So I. I only like, you know, made objects. And that doesn't have a good enough flared base, you know what I'm saying?

[Bobby Lee]

Can you do a handstand?

[Diego]

I could do a cartwheel, but it's pretty mid.

[Andrew Santino]

I don't want to see you break.

[Bobby Lee]

How about this, dude, Just pop locking for a minute.

[Diego]

Pop locking.

[Andrew Santino]

What do you do for us, by the way? Is he an intern for us?

[Diego]

Yeah, I'm an intern.

[Bobby Lee]

I.

[Diego]

A lot of research and. What? I got to. Come here.

[Andrew Santino]

This is tight. What do you do for us? Same thing. Do you guys get along?

[Bobby Lee]

Are you guys over at 7eckies?

[Andrew Santino]

You guys are tight.

[Bobby Lee]

So George hired you? Bryce.

[Andrew Santino]

Bryce or Lane.

[Diego]

It was one of them. But. What? Bobby, can I something?

[Bobby Lee]

Not me. I objected.

[Diego]

Bobby, I try to walk up to you one time in real life, and I try to give you my resume. I'm not even joking. And that was a bad mistake on my part.

[Bobby Lee]

Very bad.

[Diego]

Players up, like I said.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah, but I don't do that anymore because of McCone. Remember what you did to me there? It's okay, what did I say?

[Diego]

You said, nah, I'm gonna lose in my car. And then you went to go against some more.

[Andrew Santino]

Pretty accurate.

[Diego]

Beautiful women.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah, yeah.

[Andrew Santino]

The guy gets beautiful women.

[Bobby Lee]

Guess what? Guess what, dude.

[Diego]

Yeah.

[Bobby Lee]

Jackson.

[Diego]

Hey. Thank you. Sorry.

[Bobby Lee]

From now on, I'll say hi to you. We know each other now.

[Diego]

Oh, yeah.

[Andrew Santino]

No, you. You'll forget.

[Bobby Lee]

No, I will know. Jackson, we met that before. I have to warn all the other comics. Like, clear the hallway. Yeah, yeah.

[Diego]

I'm sort of a creature feature. And people always think they know me. They. They see me around. They probably have, because, like I said, I'm a loiterer.

[Andrew Santino]

But a creature feature is the type of film, typically horror science fiction, where the monster, supernatural creature is the main antagonist.

[Diego]

Well, guys, if you're talking about the paradoxicality of the film industry, all right, I'll tell you a thing or two about. There's different genres you got to be pay mind of the mise en scene. All that kind of stuff is quite important. So I was not quite referring to the creature feature per se, but, you know, that is a good genre.

[Andrew Santino]

See this? This could be a PSA for inbreeding. How dangerous it really gets.

[Bobby Lee]

It really is dangerous.

[Andrew Santino]

Don't. Your cousin.

[Diego]

I thought you were gonna be talking about, like, everyone should do it.

[Andrew Santino]

Like, nobody. No, no, get away.

[Bobby Lee]

No way, guy.

[Andrew Santino]

Get off the boat.

[Bobby Lee]

No way, guys.

[Andrew Santino]

Dude, I gotta tell you, Jackson. Jackson hole. You're an interesting guy.

[Bobby Lee]

Interesting guy.

[Andrew Santino]

You're. You've got a bright future.

[Bobby Lee]

Like the baby. If I hire anyone to babysit my kids, it would be this guy.

[Andrew Santino]

But, yeah, this cat.

[Bobby Lee]

This cat seems normal.

[Andrew Santino]

I'd hire you to. I'd hired you to landscape. You hired him. No, I care about that.

[Bobby Lee]

But landscaping in North Dakota, like, far up far. Yeah, yeah, I know. I live in, you know, I mean la, but go to north.

[Andrew Santino]

Have you ever done manual labor?

[Diego]

Dude, I have. They put me to work, man. Like I said, I was a DJ technician, so I carried a lot of speakers and stuff. But then there's like situations where you just go off a Craigslist ad and they're like, we got some machetes. Can you just go cut some shit?

[Andrew Santino]

And then what would you go cut?

[Diego]

Dude, you cut bamboo. You cut whatever. And you did that.

[Andrew Santino]

You hired him to do that. What else did you go cut?

[Bobby Lee]

My pandas were hungry.

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah, you got to feed them. They can't just not eat.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah.

[Diego]

Did you know that bamboo is technically the largest grass?

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah, we didn't need to know that.

[Diego]

But I do know that I'm like an encyclopedia, dude. I know. Oh, this is good single thing. If you want any information, I'll tell you how to. I'll tell you.

[Bobby Lee]

What do giraffes eat?

[Diego]

I'll tell you. Giraffes, they eat the conifer tree because it is quite high up and it's very nutritious as far as the photosynthesis goes within the. The plant.

[Andrew Santino]

And the second half was.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah, ask him. But ask him another one.

[Andrew Santino]

Describe. Describe to me the. The. Give me the scientific explanation of why fish can breathe underwater. How gills work.

[Diego]

All right, so listen, there's a fish, right? I don't know.

[Andrew Santino]

Good start.

[Diego]

You've eaten a couple of sashimi. But they can also be our friends. So you see a fish and as the trajectory of the fish cuts through the water in the perfect angle, the oxygen is absorbed in the gills.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah.

[Diego]

So for us that's like. I don't know, maybe if you're 69ing and you just get a second and you get a fresh of breath air. That's what it feels like when the fish swims through the water at the perfect trajectory. It's getting that extra air in, you know. But if you take them out the water, dude, you're back underneath and you gotta hold your breath again.

[Bobby Lee]

I know who you are now. Who am I up? Willem Dafoe, dude.

[Diego]

And they. I also have the big pin.

[Bobby Lee]

Can you see it?

[Diego]

Just kidding.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah, there is something about him. That's Willem Dafoe. Yeah. Actually not now. You're way worse. Yeah, dude, do that smile.

[Diego]

AI is going to fix a. Is going to fix me, dude. Pretty soon it's going to be like one of those video games. You just customize your character. Yeah, I can add a couple of inches to my height, you know, maybe lose the expect a patronum that hole. Am I right? Yeah, yeah.

[Bobby Lee]

We're muting you now. Yeah. All right. Well, Jackson.

[Andrew Santino]

Jackson Hole.

[Diego]

Thank you.

[Bobby Lee]

Thank you.

[Andrew Santino]

I think you're a fantastic event.

[Bobby Lee]

Okay. You don't have to bow to me.

[Diego]

Sorry.

[Bobby Lee]

Okay.

[Andrew Santino]

Thank you, Jackson.

[Bobby Lee]

Thank you, Jackson Hole.

[Andrew Santino]

That's good.

[Bobby Lee]

That's not.

[Diego]

Because it's not screwed it.

[Andrew Santino]

No, no. That's not your fault. Didn't put the weight back on the.

[Bobby Lee]

It's okay.

[Andrew Santino]

Thanks, Jackson.

[Bobby Lee]

What a guy.

[Andrew Santino]

Where do we go from there?

[Bobby Lee]

I don't know. What a guy though.

[Andrew Santino]

Interesting guy. That was wild.

[Bobby Lee]

He's wild. Should we fire him?

[Andrew Santino]

No, I kind of want to keep.

[Bobby Lee]

Him only one more month. Really. And then we got to get him a job, I think. Yeah. I think we gotta get him a job.

[Andrew Santino]

And then what? What are we gonna make him do here?

[Bobby Lee]

Landscaping? Yeah.

[Andrew Santino]

In North Dakota.

[Bobby Lee]

I like this guy. The both of them, I liked.

[Andrew Santino]

They're both great. Yeah, we've. We've done a great job having a good crew of interns come through this show.

[Bobby Lee]

What?

[Andrew Santino]

He wants a job.

[Bobby Lee]

You want a job?

[Andrew Santino]

Okay, he wants a job. What are we gonna.

[Bobby Lee]

He just bagged. That was so sad.

[Andrew Santino]

Give money.

[Bobby Lee]

I'm gonna give him about 100.

[Andrew Santino]

You get money?

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah. Should I do it now?

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah, make him come get it.

[Bobby Lee]

Come here, guys. No, no. Here's some money for you.

[Diego]

Are you serious?

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah.

[Diego]

Because I. I actually am not paid at all.

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah, there's money.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah. Just have a dinner. Nice dinner for you guys.

[Jackson]

Sure.

[Diego]

Thank you so much. That genuinely means a lot.

[Jackson]

Thank you.

[Andrew Santino]

That's very nice.

[Bobby Lee]

I don't shake hands, but. No, no, back the up, bro.

[Diego]

One day.

[Bobby Lee]

No day. No day. No, no, no day.

[Andrew Santino]

No, no, don't over. You deserve that.

[Bobby Lee]

You deserve it.

[Andrew Santino]

You. You guys deserve that. You guys are both fantastic. You change their day. You. You see what you do?

[Bobby Lee]

That's like five Chipotle's visits.

[Andrew Santino]

Can I do a. Can I do, like, a little. Like a little Larry King out for this?

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah, please.

[Andrew Santino]

Here's the deal. What we've learned today is the levels of which Bobby Lee's depths, depth of love in the public eye goes deeper than any of us ever anticipated. He's able to reach out and shape lives he's not even really connected to. We learned that Jackson's mom, cousin, sister, brother, needed help with sobriety. Found it through you and your humor and who you are and your commitment to the program. And we learned that Barnacle.

[Bobby Lee]

That's his name.

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah, Barnacle. Diego. Diego. Diego, like San Diego.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah, I know.

[Andrew Santino]

We learned that. Diego.

[Bobby Lee]

No, he's a good guy.

[Andrew Santino]

He's a good guy. Bob, you got any final words for the kids?

[Bobby Lee]

No, absolutely not.

[Andrew Santino]

Thank you for being a bad friend.