2 Million Subscribers

Summary

Podcast Summary: Bad Friends Episode - "2 Million Subscribers"

Podcast Information:

• Title: Bad Friends
• Hosts: Bobby Lee & Andrew Santino
• Episode: 2 Million Subscribers
• Release Date: May 12, 2025
• Production: A 7EQUIS production

---

1. Celebrating 2 Million Subscribers

The episode kicks off with Bobby Lee and Andrew Santino expressing their excitement over reaching the significant milestone of 2 million subscribers. The hosts celebrate this achievement with enthusiasm, acknowledging the support of their listener base.

Notable Quotes:

• Andrew Santino [00:36]: "Two million subscribers. Yeah, two million, baby. Thank you so much."
• Bobby Lee [05:00]: "To us. Thank you for 2 million subscribers. Jesus, dude."

---

2. Conflict Over the Sold-Out Show and Pranks

A substantial portion of the episode revolves around a heated exchange between Bobby and Andrew concerning a sold-out show at the Belly Room. Andrew accuses Bobby of lying about the show being sold out, leading to a series of accusations, defensiveness, and reflections on their friendship.

Key Points:

• Andrew's Accusation: Andrew claims he advertised the show with Bobby’s name, causing it to sell out, which Bobby vehemently denies.
• Prank Fallout: The conflict escalates as Andrew reveals he orchestrated a prank involving their mutual acquaintance, Carlos Herrera, who got stuck in a cake during the recording.
• Emotional Tension: The argument unveils underlying tensions, with both hosts expressing feelings of betrayal and frustration.

Notable Quotes:

• Bobby Lee [05:05]: "Are you out of your mind right now?"
• Andrew Santino [14:00]: "I'm doing a show in the Belly Room. Okay. Tickets were bad."
• Bobby Lee [14:32]: "He was sitting there just fine. I said, come out. You need to come out."

---

3. Deeper Personal Discussions: Therapy and Trauma

Amidst the bickering, Andrew delves into more personal territory, discussing his experiences with therapy and past traumatic events. This segment offers listeners a glimpse into Andrew's vulnerabilities and the complexities of his relationship with Bobby.

Key Points:

• Andrew’s Trauma: He shares a story from his eighth-grade years involving rejection from a breakdancing group, which left him emotionally scarred.
• Therapeutic Insights: Andrew mentions attending therapy to cope with his issues, highlighting the importance of mental health.
• Friendship Strains: The conversation underscores the strains in their friendship, with Andrew feeling unsupported and Bobby unaware of the depth of his struggles.

Notable Quotes:

• Andrew Santino [11:47]: "When I was in eighth grade, I bought parachute pants... I walked home crying."
• Bobby Lee [13:23]: "If you were part of the water game, but I'm not. Why am I..."

---

4. Tragic News Segment: School Shooting

Transitioning from their personal conflict, the hosts address a recent tragic event involving a school shooting at Florida State University (FSU). They discuss the incident, clarify misconceptions, and reflect on the impact of such events in today's society.

Key Points:

• Incident Details: Bobby Lee recounts seeing a viral video of a shooting where a girl was casually filming amidst chaos.
• Public Reaction: The hosts express confusion and concern over the public's panic and the rapid spread of information online.
• Legal Aspects: They touch upon the complexities of the situation, including issues with identity verification.

Notable Quotes:

• Bobby Lee [44:51]: "Heartbreak. There was a school shooter on FSU's campus today."
• Andrew Santino [45:34]: "Juan Carlos Gomez Lopez... he's back."

---

5. Humorous Segments and Product Promotions

Throughout the episode, Bobby and Andrew intersperse humor with light-hearted segments. They discuss various topics ranging from Waffle House antics to virtual therapy services, blending comedy with promotional content seamlessly.

Key Points:

• Waffle House Fights: The hosts humorously critique a Twitter account dedicated to fights at Waffle House, commenting on the behavior observed.
• Product Ads: The episode features brief advertisements for services like Rocket Money, BlueChew, and Talkspace, integrated into their conversation.

Notable Quotes:

• Bobby Lee [48:33]: "He's putting his balls on the walk."
• Andrew Santino [40:08]: "I spent hundreds and hundreds and hundreds of dollars every year. Because of Rocket Money."

---

6. Closing Remarks: Appreciation and Future Plans

As the episode draws to a close, Bobby and Andrew reiterate their gratitude towards their fans, emphasizing the importance of their support in reaching 2 million subscribers. They also touch upon upcoming projects and tours, encouraging listeners to attend their shows in London and Dublin.

Key Points:

• Fan Appreciation: Both hosts express heartfelt thanks, acknowledging that their fans have been instrumental in their continued success.
• Upcoming Shows: They announce plans for special events and tours, highlighting the possibility of Bobby taking a break for personal reasons.
• Call to Action: Listeners are encouraged to attend live shows and support their endeavors.

Notable Quotes:

• Bobby Lee [58:02]: "We're up to 2 million subscribers. We appreciate every single one of you."
• Andrew Santino [58:01]: "Before Bad Friends, I feel like I was just not doing anything important... I really appreciate the love and support."

---

Conclusion

This episode of Bad Friends offers a candid look into the dynamics between Bobby Lee and Andrew Santino, balancing humor with personal revelations. Celebrating a major milestone provides a backdrop for deeper discussions on friendship, trust, and personal growth, all while maintaining the comedic essence that defines their podcast. Listeners are left with a blend of laughter, introspection, and a renewed appreciation for the duo's enduring camaraderie.

Transcript

[Bobby Lee]

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[Andrew Santino]

This podcast is powered by Huel.

[Bobby Lee]

H U E L. New customers can use code bad friends for 15 off plus a free gift.

[Andrew Santino]

You two are bad friends. Who are these two idiots? White dude and an Asian dude. You two are disgusting. Oh, you two are something. We're bad friends. Two million subscribers. Yeah.

[Bobby Lee]

Two million.

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah, two million, baby. Thank you so much. You know, I mean.

[Bobby Lee]

Oh, my God. You shoot yourself?

[Andrew Santino]

Yes. That's so funny. You deserve that. You know, today we don't have Carlos because you were so mad at him. We? I, I. Well, you know, I just came up with a new nickname with Andrew and I. I'm Little China. And he's big trouble.

[Bobby Lee]

Big trouble, Little China. No, you're in big trouble with me.

[Andrew Santino]

No, no, you're big trouble. And I'm the Little China.

[Bobby Lee]

I asked you for one favor.

[Andrew Santino]

I asked you for one favor.

[Bobby Lee]

What was yours? I said I'm at a my show. I'm at a business dinner. I can't make it there. I'm at a dinner.

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah. And I was on a date.

[Bobby Lee]

Timeout. You were on a date. I called the date what's better?

[Andrew Santino]

Or business.

[Bobby Lee]

We'll say it together. One, two, three. Business. It's business. Three, four to this.

[Andrew Santino]

You can't play this game. Look at him. He looks like an accountant. He's an accountant. Part three. The new one after this next next one. And this guy, he's an incel.

[Bobby Lee]

No, he's an outsell. He's been doing really well.

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Bobby Lee]

He told me in the car right over here. He's doing great.

[Andrew Santino]

Anyway.

[Bobby Lee]

No, I'm mad at you. I call Bobby mad at you more. Nice try, dude.

[Andrew Santino]

No, good. Good one.

[Bobby Lee]

Nice try.

[Andrew Santino]

Look at your face, dude.

[Bobby Lee]

Nice try.

[Andrew Santino]

Sad face. You get all red and you know, in your, in your, in your eyes, dude. You know, you're wrong. I just realized.

[Bobby Lee]

Did you put all that flare on your hat? Did you place those pins on your hat?

[Andrew Santino]

No, it came that way.

[Bobby Lee]

Loser.

[Andrew Santino]

That's right.

[Bobby Lee]

You look like a truck. You can call me, you loser. You look like a bucket. You look like you got that at a buggy. Did you go down to Austin and get all that gear, you loser?

[Andrew Santino]

No, I got it shipped here from.

[Bobby Lee]

You know what's really annoying? I wanted to make fun of your shirt. And we're in the same color of, like, diarrhea shirts.

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Bobby Lee]

This shirt I thought was a different color when I ordered it, and it's like.

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah, it's.

[Bobby Lee]

It's baby pooh. Yeah, it's like runny baby poo.

[Andrew Santino]

Well, I mean, no. Are you on a safari? What is going on? Look, look.

[Bobby Lee]

What did I do? I met with a Korean friend. I'm not gonna say who. I met with someone who loves you. Who loves us? You couldn't come meet him with me? He was a big fan. He was upset that we couldn't. You weren't there. That's fine. And that's fine. Then I called Bobby, you guys, for your reference. I said, bob, all I need is a couple of fun Korean phrases to say to him for the show. He goes, okay, okay, okay, okay, okay. I go, just text me. Just text me three things. And then he goes, okay, okay, I will. I will. When I stop. When we're driving. When we stop. Okay, fine. Hours, hours, hours. Nothing, nothing. And he says, I'm on a date. He's on a date with a girl that I made laugh, by the way. I gave him a layup. He's on a date with a girl. He puts me on speakerphone, and I said, I'll tell you what you said.

[Andrew Santino]

You. You. Her. Dude, I know what you said.

[Bobby Lee]

What did I say?

[Andrew Santino]

So I. He calls me. I pick up. I'm on speakerphone in my car, right? And I. As soon as I pick up, I go to Andrew. I go. Watch what you say. You know I'm on a date, right? And he goes, how did the surgery go on your nutsack? That. That.

[Bobby Lee]

Did you get that thing burnt off?

[Andrew Santino]

Burnt off. And she wasn't laughing, like, cracking up?

[Bobby Lee]

No, she was dying. Laughing.

[Andrew Santino]

She was laughing. She was, like, looking at me like this, like, as if it was true.

[Bobby Lee]

Dude, what did you say? Yeah, I got them burnt off.

[Andrew Santino]

It's fine. Yeah, I was playing along with it, and then when we hung up, I had to tell her that was a joke. Really?

[Bobby Lee]

She knows. She knows it was a joke.

[Andrew Santino]

Sabotage me there, guy.

[Bobby Lee]

Do you think she's dating a rocket scientist? She knows who she's dating. It's a comic.

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah, I told Her. I was a rocket scientist.

[Bobby Lee]

A scientist.

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah. Yeah, you look the part. Anyway, so.

[Bobby Lee]

So I was upset.

[Andrew Santino]

No. So I'm doing a show in the Belly Room. Okay. Tickets were bad.

[Bobby Lee]

It sold out. It sold out. I looked online. It sold out. No, you're a liar. Do you want me to call the store right now? I know it's sold out.

[Andrew Santino]

You know why it sold out?

[Bobby Lee]

Why did it sell out?

[Andrew Santino]

Because I put your name on the flyer.

[Bobby Lee]

No. No, you didn't. First of all. First of all, my name.

[Andrew Santino]

Let's stop.

[Bobby Lee]

My name wasn't on the flyer because I looked at the website, A and B. It already sold out. You're a liar, dude. You're lying.

[Andrew Santino]

I'm not a liar.

[Bobby Lee]

Don't lie to our Fans. We got 2 million subscribers and you're lying.

[Andrew Santino]

Congratulations. To us.

[Bobby Lee]

To us. Thank you. For 2 million subscribers. Jesus, dude.

[Andrew Santino]

Let me see.

[Bobby Lee]

How many more of those do you have?

[Andrew Santino]

Don't do another one. It scared the out of me.

[Bobby Lee]

Well, do.

[Andrew Santino]

I had non flashbacks. Stop that.

[Bobby Lee]

Helpful. Helpful.

[Andrew Santino]

All right, so I'm struggling to sell out the belly roll.

[Bobby Lee]

This is so not true. It was sold out. McConnell and I looked online. It was sold out.

[Andrew Santino]

I put his name on a flyer.

[Bobby Lee]

That's not true. Here's how I know you're lying. We. We were. Andreas, he doesn't know.

[Andrew Santino]

Bob is right.

[Bobby Lee]

Are you out of your mind right now?

[Andrew Santino]

Thank you.

[Bobby Lee]

Are you literally out of your mind right now?

[Andrew Santino]

He's having trouble selling the Belly Room. Yeah. Yeah. Yes. He really needed his. So I was like, you know, who do I. I need a favor.

[Bobby Lee]

You're going to piss me off.

[Andrew Santino]

So can I have my point of view?

[Bobby Lee]

It's.

[Andrew Santino]

But it's in court. I get my time on the stand.

[Bobby Lee]

But you have to swear on the Bible, this is a lie.

[Andrew Santino]

I. I'll swear on.

[Bobby Lee]

Swear on the kitty.

[Andrew Santino]

The kitty. Okay. But so I swear.

[Bobby Lee]

I swear to God.

[Andrew Santino]

Okay, so. So I get. I get this belly room show. It's a new joke night. And I'm like, we put it on the market and it's slow.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah.

[Andrew Santino]

Because of the economy and whatnot. And it's also, you know, my name doesn't have the kind of value it's.

[Bobby Lee]

This is so annoying.

[Andrew Santino]

It's like, I don't care. I get my time in court.

[Bobby Lee]

Your honor, objection.

[Andrew Santino]

I get my time in court. Do I not?

[Carlos Herrera]

He does.

[Bobby Lee]

You're in contempt.

[Andrew Santino]

I'm like, I might have to use some of my friends. So I call Whitney Cummings, and guess what? Twice Whitney showed up for me. Tim Dillon showed up for me last week. Okay. And I was sure that my best friend, right. When you think about friend, right, you think about a man, right? Your best friend, a man. That's a ride or die, right? That no matter what's going on, you, he's going to be there for me. Totally. And that's what the definition of friendship. It's a love. It's a brotherhood. Right. If we were in the army, another Vietnam reference. Okay. Right. I would need his back.

[Bobby Lee]

In a warlike situation, you would hide behind me.

[Andrew Santino]

You know what? And you're right. When I wasn't selling tickets, I hid behind you because I needed you.

[Bobby Lee]

No, no, no.

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah. So then once I put Andrew's name on the flyer, right? Oh, that's the tickets going up.

[Bobby Lee]

Do you guys smell this? Do you smell that? Do you seriously smell that? No, it seriously smells like gas. You gaslighting piece of.

[Andrew Santino]

That's a good joke.

[Bobby Lee]

You're such a piece of. No, you're done. I'm not done. You're done.

[Andrew Santino]

Right. So then as soon as I put his name on the flyer.

[Bobby Lee]

No.

[Andrew Santino]

Right, right. And so now I'm at the show, right? I'm, I'm calling Andrew driving me, OSHA casher. Nick Thune showed up for me. You know, I don't even know Nick that well. Showed up for me. And then all of a sudden I go, just get here from 8:30 to 9. I did text you that.

[Bobby Lee]

And what did I say?

[Andrew Santino]

Nothing.

[Bobby Lee]

I'm at a business dinner I can't make. I'll show it.

[Andrew Santino]

I'll show it to right here.

[Bobby Lee]

I'll show it.

[Andrew Santino]

I'm gonna. Let me show it first.

[Bobby Lee]

I'll show it.

[Andrew Santino]

All right, so Andrew Santino, Bobby Lee. All right, all right.

[Bobby Lee]

So, and what time is it? I have a dinner, 8:30. 9. And then what did I say? I, I, I'm not able to head over after dinner. I was, I, I'm, I was out of.

[Andrew Santino]

That's so funny.

[Bobby Lee]

Trying to secure some stuff for us.

[Andrew Santino]

Stop. Because you know what? It's so funny what you're doing, right?

[Bobby Lee]

Read it.

[Andrew Santino]

No, I am gonna read it. It does say that. But can I say this? You go, what time is it? I'm at dinner. That's at 6:50.

[Bobby Lee]

7:00 clock. The dinner was at 7:30. Dinner.

[Andrew Santino]

Okay, top. Okay, then I say at 6:50 immediately. Just get here from 8:30 to 9. Then you text me at 10:30 after the show's.

[Bobby Lee]

Sorry I couldn't come after the show's.

[Andrew Santino]

Over. So the whole time I'm like, going out to the lot is like, I don't see Andrew's car. Hey, guys, is Andrew here? No. No show, right? I'm running around like a fucking animal, dude. Right? And I'm going, he's not here. And then at 10:30 when the show's over, then you text me, and that's the truth right here. You can read it right here. Truth. So, your honor, I rest my case.

[Bobby Lee]

I have a surprise for you.

[Andrew Santino]

And then the next day, you call me and go, hey, can you do something racist for my Korean buddy? I'm doing an interview for racist.

[Bobby Lee]

I just wanted some Korean language. I wanted some words in Korean.

[Andrew Santino]

No, your honor, I don't want to do something racist against another Korean person.

[Bobby Lee]

No, I wanted words to help me understand.

[Andrew Santino]

Somebody in there or something? That shaked? Is somebody in there? That shaked?

[Bobby Lee]

Is someone in the kitchen?

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah, somebody's peeing in there or something's in there. You know what it is? You know what it is?

[Bobby Lee]

Huh?

[Andrew Santino]

It's fucking Carlo, right? Carlos isn't here, right? And he's in here. And I'm going to say this right now, dude, if Carlos pops out of there, I will literally get up and leave the podcast, all right? I don't want anyone to get out of there until we're done with this podcast, right? So an hour later, that better not open into the end.

[Bobby Lee]

Who's in there?

[Andrew Santino]

I don't care who's in there.

[Bobby Lee]

What if it's. What if it's someone that you.

[Andrew Santino]

But it's not.

[Bobby Lee]

What if it's someone you love?

[Andrew Santino]

It's Carlos, because he's not there. You think I'm dumb? And let me say something about last week, about the fucking Trump letter, okay? All right? When I. And I was on therapy today, and he. I swear. I swear to God on my mother's life, if something pops out of there, until we say thank you for being a fat, fat friend, I will fucking leave. I don't give a fuck.

[Bobby Lee]

Right?

[Andrew Santino]

Okay.

[Bobby Lee]

Okay.

[Andrew Santino]

So whoever's in there, I hope you took a piss and I took a shit, because you're going to stay there for the next hour, all right? And so that's the fact, okay, whoever's listening, I know if you're a girl, beautiful girl, whatever, a stripper, whatever. What if it is a beautiful girl, I'll forgive it. But if it's Carlos Herrera, right, I will leave.

[Bobby Lee]

Come on out, beautiful girl. Go get him. Go get him, Mr. Cake.

[Andrew Santino]

You stayed in there for the whole hour, bro. I just. You don't even listen to me. That was the rule.

[Bobby Lee]

Go. That's good. Go get him. Go, go, go. Go out there with him.

[Andrew Santino]

I'll see you later. Three hours later and I did it to be funny. Yeah, yeah, we're friends. Just go for today. This is.

[Andreas]

No, that's crazy, bro.

[Andrew Santino]

Why? Why? It's. It's crazy. Andrew, can you back me up for once?

[Bobby Lee]

Look, first of all, I back you up on a constant basis, okay? I've never not had your back. Yeah, yeah, Hash this out with him. Tell him why you're really upset.

[Andrew Santino]

I'll tell you why I'm really upset.

[Bobby Lee]

Clearly, he's really upset.

[Andrew Santino]

I'm going to tell you. I'm. Because I went to therapy today, and.

[Bobby Lee]

It'S not about the cake, is it?

[Andrew Santino]

No, it's deeper than that.

[Bobby Lee]

What? Tell me what it is.

[Andrew Santino]

I'll tell you what it is. When I was in eighth grade, okay, I bought parachute pants, MC Hammer pants, because I was break dancing, all right? And there was a group, Major Tomo or something. I don't know what they were called. You know what I mean? But they were like the bake dancing group. That was my middle.

[Bobby Lee]

That was the crew crew.

[Andrew Santino]

And they were like. And they heard that I wanted to be a part of it, right? So they go show up to this warehouse because there was an industrial zone in Poway, right? You know what I mean? So my mom dropped me off there and I went there and they weren't there. And I walked home crying, okay? And then a couple of months later, the same crew goes, yo, we're so sorry about that. Go to Tommy Huddleston's. Tom. I forgot his last name, but party tonight. It was a Friday, and I showed up. There was no party, and it wasn't even his I address.

[Andreas]

It's not funny at all, dude.

[Andrew Santino]

I don't know.

[Andreas]

It's horrible, right?

[Andrew Santino]

And then I cried again. Yeah. I mean.

[Bobby Lee]

Carlos, stop it.

[Tim Dillon]

Honestly, stop.

[Bobby Lee]

Sit down. Stop. Stop laughing.

[Andrew Santino]

Honestly. Dude, what are you doing?

[Bobby Lee]

Dude, let's talk.

[Andrew Santino]

All right.

[Bobby Lee]

Honestly, can I say one thing as a friend?

[Andrew Santino]

And so what I'm saying is I.

[Bobby Lee]

Understand the pain, but you can't.

[Andrew Santino]

You guys constantly do it.

[Bobby Lee]

Who's. You guys? I'm not. Why am I.

[Andrew Santino]

You're. You were a part of the water game.

[Bobby Lee]

Was I a part of the cake at all? I wasn't a part of the cake.

[Andrew Santino]

Water G. He was a part of the fucking Trump.

[Bobby Lee]

Was I a part of the water gig? That was Fancy.

[Andrew Santino]

And at the end of the day, I look like a fool. Is that good? I'm a fool.

[Bobby Lee]

Stop.

[Andrew Santino]

I'm a fool.

[Bobby Lee]

But can we be honest?

[Andrew Santino]

I'm the blind leading myself in the blind.

[Andreas]

This is all a you issue. And I'm glad you went to therapy because I think you have very real issues about people not respecting you when you think me and McCone don't respect you, when in fact we do, and we're just trying to make you funny and make you laugh.

[Andrew Santino]

It doesn't make me laugh.

[Andreas]

Going to make 2 million people laugh.

[Andrew Santino]

Okay, dude, dude, I swear one thing about. Swear to God, dude, I swear to God, dude. What are you doing? You want to go to blows? You want to go to the blows with me?

[Bobby Lee]

Okay, that's it. Bad friends, boxing. That's it.

[Andrew Santino]

No, he'll beat me because he's younger and more athletic.

[Andreas]

Thank you.

[Andrew Santino]

You know, I mean.

[Bobby Lee]

Well, don't give him that. Okay, so now, about the thing about them tricking you. I don't like that. That makes me. I don't like that you're the master behind.

[Andrew Santino]

Oh, my God. You're the wizard behind the curtain. What are you talking about? Dude? No, it's not true. He always Andreas you. Dude, listen. You're the wizard behind the thing, right? I'm a co host. You don't get pranked, ever.

[Bobby Lee]

Prank me.

[Andrew Santino]

I don't want to because that's not my style. That's right, Exactly. That's your style.

[Bobby Lee]

What? How? I had nothing to do with this. And by the way, him out of the cake wasn't a prank. I didn't have anything, by the way. Who told me? Well, okay, let's come clean. When did I learn about the cake? I struggle, okay?

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah, I had nothing to do with it.

[Bobby Lee]

I know, but how am I getting roped into this?

[Andrew Santino]

Because you texted him to pop out of the fucking.

[Bobby Lee]

Because I knew he was in it.

[Andrew Santino]

That's how I know. You think I'm blind.

[Bobby Lee]

Time out.

[Tim Dillon]

Wait.

[Andrew Santino]

You think that I'm blind? You. When he. When he was. When he was in there, you texted him when I directly said. Don't. Don't do it. Right. So who.

[Bobby Lee]

He can't breathe in there.

[Andrew Santino]

So, wizard dude. You're the wizard dude.

[Bobby Lee]

What do you want?

[Andrew Santino]

You're full of lies.

[Bobby Lee]

You want him to sit in the cake for the whole show? That's not a good show.

[Andrew Santino]

Fuck you.

[Bobby Lee]

That's not a good show.

[Andrew Santino]

I know it is.

[Bobby Lee]

No, it's bad.

[Andrew Santino]

So funny to think that he's going to be stuck there for a whole hour.

[Bobby Lee]

He doesn't care.

[Andrew Santino]

Miserable.

[Bobby Lee]

He was. He was sitting there just fine. I said, come out. You need to come out.

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah. Yeah. So don't tell me that you had nothing to do with it.

[Bobby Lee]

I had not. I literally. He built it. And I learned about how, you know he's in there. Because I'm not a fucking idiot. There was three people in the booth.

[Andrew Santino]

There were times that he's not here when he's. Have there not been times that you haven't been?

[Bobby Lee]

When I know he's back in Texas and you do, too.

[Andrew Santino]

Right? So in my mind, I was like, I don't know his schedule.

[Bobby Lee]

So, yes, he's fucking.

[Andrew Santino]

I saw the thing wiggle. I go, he's in there, right? And in my mind, he's the last guy I want to see.

[Bobby Lee]

How would you not know what his schedule is? What I talk every day.

[Andrew Santino]

So anyway, what I was thinking is, is that, you know what? I'm going to make pun. Punish him.

[Bobby Lee]

But it didn't. It wasn't gonna. Trust me. It was. This is more punishing you.

[Andrew Santino]

And then you texted him, like the wizard that you are, dude, come out. Right? And you're like, come out. Which means to tell me there's something about it and anyone listening, the fans. Right. You know that I speak the truth. This goes back to the. Him not showing up to my show. It's all linked together, you know? Now I have to say something right now that I'm gonna come clean.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah.

[Andrew Santino]

Okay. I lied about those stories about the break dancing.

[Bobby Lee]

I know.

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah. And Tommy huddle. I don't know.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah. I knew those were lies.

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah. Yeah. You know, I mean, because, you know.

[Bobby Lee]

I mean, you can't dance.

[Andrew Santino]

Oh, I'm a dancer, dude.

[Bobby Lee]

You cannot dance. Watch me get up and do it.

[Andrew Santino]

I'll dance out of here.

[Bobby Lee]

Do it.

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah. Because if I dance out of here. Right. Do you want to call me?

[Bobby Lee]

Well, we need to finish the 2. 2 million.

[Andrew Santino]

Don't ask me to dance out of here. Because I will.

[Bobby Lee]

You know what, dude? Don't. Don't threaten me. Don't threaten me.

[Andrew Santino]

See what I mean?

[Bobby Lee]

Oh. 2 million subs. 2 million subs.

[Andrew Santino]

Oh, in.

[Bobby Lee]

In there.

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah. We're not at singing. We're not. We had the results. 2 million subs.

[Bobby Lee]

2 million subs. We appreciate every single one of you.

[Andrew Santino]

Watch it constantly. Two million subs. Watch it constantly. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Turn it off now.

[Bobby Lee]

All right.

[Andrew Santino]

Turn it off now. We did it. All right, so, by the way, that's Jazz.

[Bobby Lee]

That was jazz.

[Andrew Santino]

I love jazz. So where we at now? Now. Okay. So, you know, sorry I couldn't make it the show.

[Bobby Lee]

I was trying to secure something for us.

[Andrew Santino]

Okay. That's good. And I'm sorry that I didn't call you back with those names, because I.

[Bobby Lee]

You were on a date.

[Andrew Santino]

I was on a date.

[Bobby Lee]

But it bothered me because it made me realize. It made me realize. I made me realize that girl was more important than me. Even though I've known you for almost 20 years.

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah. And having dinner with your friend Charlie Day.

[Bobby Lee]

It wasn't. That's. First of all, you're making stuff up. I wasn't.

[Andrew Santino]

And Scott, Jason Bateman and all your friends.

[Bobby Lee]

This is you. This is trying to grab onto something.

[Andrew Santino]

I don't know what this was.

[Bobby Lee]

I was trying to secure something for us.

[Andrew Santino]

Is it plausible? Okay. And I would like a little backup. Is it plausible?

[Bobby Lee]

You can't say I'd like backup.

[Tim Dillon]

You got it.

[Andrew Santino]

No, Is it plausible? Check it out. Is it plausible that he would be having dinner with either Charlie Day or Jason Bateman?

[Bobby Lee]

No.

[Andrew Santino]

Thank you.

[Bobby Lee]

No.

[Andrew Santino]

Andreas, dude, we're going to do that show together.

[Bobby Lee]

It's plausible.

[Andrew Santino]

Unless he said he wasn't.

[Bobby Lee]

That's right. And I said I'm at a business dinner. You know, and that's not a business.

[Andrew Santino]

You're an extension of his dick. You always have been. And that's why I betray you. The Harry Potter. Yeah. Yeah. You're so glued to him and you're such. Crawled. So deep in his ass. This is him you can't even see.

[Bobby Lee]

Holding on to my cock.

[Andrew Santino]

I know. That's. Yeah. All right. You're a fool.

[Bobby Lee]

A business dinner where I'm trying to secure a deal for us, which I wrote in the text. I'm trying to close something for us.

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah. Yeah. Okay.

[Bobby Lee]

Yet another thing I'm doing for this show.

[Andrew Santino]

Oh, here we go.

[Bobby Lee]

Let's hear. Oh, you want to hear? We go. Let's hear. We go. Let's hear. We go. The game show. The animated show. Let's. Here we go, pal.

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah. What about my resilience?

[Bobby Lee]

What is that even.

[Andrew Santino]

You know, it's so funny. Yes. Resilience doesn't count anymore. Have you noticed that in our society? You know, I mean, dynamic. Dynamic personalities, you know, laziness. Being authentic, being lazy. Being authentic.

[Bobby Lee]

Being lazy.

[Andrew Santino]

Charismatic. Charismatic. Right?

[Bobby Lee]

You come from the time of do less, get more. It's over now.

[Andrew Santino]

Do nothing and get more.

[Bobby Lee]

You do nothing. That's actually right. You're right.

[Andrew Santino]

That's where I come from. Yeah. And I've risen because that's the truth.

[Bobby Lee]

You're welcome.

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah. And you know what? You're welcome.

[Bobby Lee]

No, you're welcome.

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah, you're welcome.

[Bobby Lee]

No, you're welcome.

[Andrew Santino]

You're very lucky to have me.

[Bobby Lee]

You're very lucky to have me.

[Andrew Santino]

And I. And I've said that out loud so many times, you can clip it. I've said it on all these other podcasts that I'm so lucky that Andrew asked me to do this podcast. I adore him.

[Bobby Lee]

I've said the same thing.

[Andrew Santino]

Seen one thing that you said that about me.

[Bobby Lee]

He knows that's not true.

[Andrew Santino]

Anyway, bring up the interview with Dan McConnell. Into it. Yeah. You seen it. All right.

[Bobby Lee]

No, I said bring it.

[Andrew Santino]

When you're so up as his fucking ass.

[Bobby Lee]

Bring that. Bring that. I can show you so many.

[Andrew Santino]

Let's not do that.

[Bobby Lee]

That's right.

[Andrew Santino]

All right.

[Bobby Lee]

Because I'll prove you wrong.

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Bobby Lee]

Anyway, the fans know that the 2 million subscribers. Thank you so much.

[Andrew Santino]

And the fans thank you so much, guys.

[Bobby Lee]

Thank you.

[Andrew Santino]

It's just a little road in the bump of the road, but let me see.

[Bobby Lee]

It's a little road in the bump.

[Andrew Santino]

So let's resolve it. Okay.

[Bobby Lee]

So I had nothing to do with it.

[Andrew Santino]

Okay.

[Bobby Lee]

You want to get mad at someone. You haven't even yelled at him once. I'm getting all this.

[Andrew Santino]

Oh, never gonna talk to him again.

[Bobby Lee]

That's not true.

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah, yeah. It'll take a while.

[Andreas]

It's insane, though.

[Bobby Lee]

Then block his number and delete it right now.

[Andrew Santino]

Okay.

[Andreas]

It's gonna up the show a little bit.

[Bobby Lee]

It will up the show.

[Andrew Santino]

You want me to.

[Bobby Lee]

No.

[Andrew Santino]

Okay, well, then what?

[Bobby Lee]

Well, then don't say you're not gonna talk to him again because, yes, you are.

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah, in, like, sporadic. Like what? Like when I called you today.

[Andreas]

Oh, what time are we starting tonight?

[Andrew Santino]

And then what'd you say?

[Andreas]

Seven.

[Andrew Santino]

And that just hung right up, huh? Yeah.

[Andreas]

I knew it was a power move.

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah. Oh, that's interesting.

[Bobby Lee]

A power move.

[Andrew Santino]

A power move.

[Bobby Lee]

So you're doing power.

[Andrew Santino]

What is the last time I did the power move?

[Bobby Lee]

Power. You just almost walked out on the show. Gold Belly.

[Andrew Santino]

Look, I have Gold Belly on my phone. Do you know why? During COVID it was the only way I lived.

[Tim Dillon]

It's how I lived.

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah, right. I got pies from South Carolina. I got pizzas from Chicago. I got cakes from New York. I got the best food from all over the country through Gold Belly. It's the best. Have you heard of It Andrew.

[Tim Dillon]

I know it very well. I love Gold Belly. It's this amazing site that we order from. You get the most iconic famous foods from restaurants all across the US and they ship it to your door for free. Ramen for free. I love getting Chicago deep dish Lumel natties. And I have it in my refrigerator. Anytime someone comes over and I say, you want to watch football game and cook a little deep dish?

[Bobby Lee]

I go, how'd you get that deep dish?

[Tim Dillon]

And y gold belly and y' all.

[Andrew Santino]

Man, I like barbecue, man. They ship the legendary Franklin's barbecue straight from Texas to your door.

[Tim Dillon]

And sometimes if I'm missing my home of Miami, I'm in mommy. I get stone crab from yo's son from Jose. Miami, baby.

[Bobby Lee]

It's a dish from a one of.

[Tim Dillon]

A kind restaurant or meals from world famous chefs like Ina Garten, Daniel Blard or Jose Andres. Goldbelly has you covered.

[Andrew Santino]

If you're looking for that perfect gift or want to impress your friends and family with an epic meal, next time you host, go to goldbelly.com and get free shipping and 20% off your first order with promo code BAD FRIENDS.

[Tim Dillon]

That's goldbelly.com code BAD FRIENDS for free shipping, 20% off your first order. Talk space.

[Andrew Santino]

Oh boy. I had a lot of trauma growing up and you know how I fixed it and I'm working on it through therapy. And no one does it better than Talkspace, y' all.

[Tim Dillon]

It's gotta be challenging in this new world to find immediate therapist that's the right fit for you.

[Bobby Lee]

And I gotta tell you, it is.

[Tim Dillon]

Kind of a pain.

[Bobby Lee]

It's not easy.

[Tim Dillon]

You gotta get recommendations. It's hard with Talkspace they make it affordable. You can search for in network that are with most of your insurance providers and most insured members have a $0 copay. And as two people that take therapy seriously, I think it's important for people to get stuff off of their chest, off of their mind and out into the world.

[Andrew Santino]

Oh, so Talkspace is the number one company that does this? Yeah, right. They're the leading virtual therapy provider. Makes getting the help you need easy, accessible and affordable. Talkspace therapy and psychiatry are covered by many insurance plans and employers. Most insured plan members have a $0 copay.

[Tim Dillon]

You can easily sign up online, get paired with a licensed provider. That's the right fit for your needs, typically within 48 hours. You can also switch providers at no extra cost. Talkspace makes getting help convenient because you can take your appointments from the comfort of your Own home, car, shower, backyard neighbor's house, wherever you want. As a listener of the podcast, you're gonna get $80 off your first month with Talkspace when you go to talkspace.combadfriends and enter the promo code SPACE80 to match with a licensed therapist today, go to talkspace.combad friends. Enter the promo code SPACE80 to get 80 off your first month and show your support for the show. That's talkspace.com Bad Friends promo code is SPACE80.

[Bobby Lee]

Bluetooth.

[Andrew Santino]

I'm 53, okay. Sometimes my ding dong don't work.

[Tim Dillon]

And how do you activate your ding dong?

[Andrew Santino]

Activate with the best thing out there, which is Bluetooth. I have it, you know, Carlos. I use it. Right? And I. And I tell you about my experiences.

[Andreas]

Oh, yeah, I always take one.

[Andrew Santino]

I know. Me too. And it works.

[Tim Dillon]

One for you, one for me.

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah, One for you, one for. Two for me, one for you.

[Bobby Lee]

Okay.

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah, but I take it and I'm. Y' all listen to me right now, okay? It totally works, right? Have better sex with BlueChew. BlueChew is the original brand offering chewable tablets for better sex. And start now. Bluechew is offering a combo so strong, it'll knock your socks off and your neighbor socks off. You'll have to move towns with the amount of noise you'll be making.

[Tim Dillon]

That's right. Bobby gets harder than bamboo. And you should, too. Make life easier by getting harder and discover your options. @bluechew.com we got a special deal for our listeners. Try your first month of Blue Chew for for free. When you use the promo code bad friends just pay five bucks for shipping. That's promo code bad friends.

[Andrew Santino]

Visit bluechew.com for more details and important safety information. And we thank BlueChew for sponsoring the podcast. But another time.

[Bobby Lee]

Showing off in front of the girl that you're dating and not just texting me. Three Korean words that I asked for. Power move. I'll give you another one.

[Andrew Santino]

I have so many, too.

[Bobby Lee]

Lying to our fans about putting me on the flyer when it was already sold out. Power move. I'll give you more. I got so. Dude, I have so many lines.

[Andrew Santino]

Let me address that. Can I address that?

[Bobby Lee]

In the middle of the. In the middle of the recording of the animated movie that we're doing, you literally said, I'm done. No more. That's true.

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah.

[Bobby Lee]

Power move.

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah, that was probably.

[Bobby Lee]

I got a couple.

[Andrew Santino]

All right, so I. You're throwing.

[Bobby Lee]

Throwing your keys at the. At the valet, at the. In the store. Throwing Throwing your car keys at the kid when. What's his name? Ramsey. You threw your keys at him. I watched you do it.

[Andrew Santino]

My opener. You don't.

[Bobby Lee]

You can't throw your keys.

[Andrew Santino]

Do whatever. I. Spit on his back. You can do whatever you want.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah, Spit on his back when you're loving him.

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Bobby Lee]

You weren't loving him.

[Andrew Santino]

So let me say something about the show. I did lie a little bit.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah.

[Andrew Santino]

The show was sold out.

[Bobby Lee]

Of course it was.

[Andrew Santino]

And I added your name late.

[Bobby Lee]

You don't need anybody's help. You're a shooting star.

[Andrew Santino]

Being still. I was still excited that you were going to be there, but I'm sorry.

[Bobby Lee]

I had to finish dinner.

[Andrew Santino]

And I'm sorry that I was, you know, in the midst of a romantic date and I forgot about your call.

[Bobby Lee]

But that's what scares me. You're gonna fall in love and forget about me.

[Andrew Santino]

Oh, here we go.

[Bobby Lee]

That's what. I talked to my therapist.

[Andrew Santino]

You fell in love years ago, guy.

[Bobby Lee]

What?

[Andrew Santino]

I lost you years ago.

[Bobby Lee]

That is beyond.

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's ridiculous. You want to get. You want to get into it? Let's get into it, dude.

[Bobby Lee]

Let's get into it.

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah. Yeah. She took you away from me. She did. And I'm so glad it's out.

[Bobby Lee]

That's so stupid.

[Andrew Santino]

And when I look at her, there's a deep resentment. I do love her.

[Bobby Lee]

But, you know, the truth is, I think you really do like this girl that you're seeing. And you're a little scared and nervous, and you're vulnerable, and you seem a little on edge.

[Andrew Santino]

I'm already friend zoned, so you take.

[Andreas]

It out on us.

[Andrew Santino]

You. You. But that's what. You know, what you did, dude, the water, right? The donut, right? The fucking Trump letter. I've had enough.

[Andreas]

Angry grandma, right?

[Andrew Santino]

Angry grandma. I mean, you could even rattle up more. There's so many different things. Borderlands Reviews. Borderlands Reviews. Yeah. Yeah. Thank you so much. Borderland Reviews. All right, how many do. Can I take from you? Right? You don't ever prank him.

[Bobby Lee]

Wait, but. Time out. Do you hear what you're. You hear what you're saying?

[Andrew Santino]

What?

[Bobby Lee]

It's all Carlos.

[Andrew Santino]

I know.

[Bobby Lee]

So why are you taking it out on us? I don't get it.

[Andrew Santino]

Because you. Because when you came in here, you're like, I have a gripe with you. I do that golf thing.

[Bobby Lee]

That hurt my feelings.

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah, Hurt my feelings that you didn't tell me. And that's why.

[Bobby Lee]

That's not true.

[Andrew Santino]

The reason why I didn't give you the thing.

[Bobby Lee]

You didn't give me the thing because you just. You didn't care because you're with that girl and you didn't give a.

[Andrew Santino]

You didn't care about my show.

[Bobby Lee]

That's not true.

[Andrew Santino]

Just end it there.

[Bobby Lee]

No.

[Andrew Santino]

Why can't we just be even? You always have to have that leg up.

[Bobby Lee]

Because it's.

[Andrew Santino]

That's how Wham. Broke up. George Michael said to the other guy. I don't know, the other guy's name is like. Yeah, man, you know?

[Bobby Lee]

I mean, George Michael said, I'm George Michael. I gotta go.

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah, that's what you're gonna.

[Bobby Lee]

And that's what you just tried to pull. You tried to George Michael. No, you just tried to George Michael.

[Andrew Santino]

You're Paul Simon. I'm Art Funko.

[Bobby Lee]

Funko, buddy. Let me tell you something, okay? Let me tell you who I really am.

[Andrew Santino]

Oh, here we go. This. Watch this.

[Bobby Lee]

You know who I am? I'm Shifty.

[Andrew Santino]

Who are you?

[Bobby Lee]

I'm Shifty. Shell shock.

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah, you are.

[Bobby Lee]

Crazy town.

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Bobby Lee]

You're my butterfly, sugar baby. And if you don't stop messing around, you're gonna lose me.

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah, I'm not messing around. I was. You know, this is how relationships.

[Bobby Lee]

You're my butterfly. Oh, don't call me sugar.

[Andrew Santino]

Don't call me that.

[Bobby Lee]

Come my lady. Come, come, my lady.

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah, don't call me that, man.

[Bobby Lee]

But anyway, he died.

[Andreas]

Oh, yeah.

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah.

[Bobby Lee]

Oh, I didn't mean to. I had no idea.

[Andrew Santino]

He died and he's a friend of mine. I thought it was rude what you just did.

[Bobby Lee]

He really died. That's not fake.

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah.

[Bobby Lee]

I didn't know he died. You've never heard of this guy?

[Andreas]

Yeah, no, he would have. NA legend.

[Bobby Lee]

This guy's an NA legend.

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Bobby Lee]

How did he die?

[Andreas]

Probably narcotics relapse.

[Bobby Lee]

Well, that's not cool. That's someone. That's not funny.

[Andrew Santino]

Like somebody we know in here.

[Bobby Lee]

I really didn't know. Who. Carlos.

[Andrew Santino]

Carlos. Yeah.

[Bobby Lee]

What's been going on Los.

[Andrew Santino]

See, his. His. You know how he's very sensitive and he just like. Out of there, he just was like, so defensive. Right, right. It's drug behavior. It's.

[Bobby Lee]

That's drug behavior.

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah.

[Andreas]

Oh, this is such a manipulation right now.

[Andrew Santino]

See, even what he just said they're doing. Yeah, that's part of it.

[Bobby Lee]

That is. Well, he knows the sign. So go on, tell me more. What else is it?

[Andrew Santino]

That's it.

[Bobby Lee]

That's it. Carlos, are you on drugs?

[Andreas]

Marijuana only. And Xanax.

[Andrew Santino]

And you get Psychosis with that.

[Bobby Lee]

Wait, Xanax and Lexapro. Yeah, and weed.

[Andreas]

And weed.

[Andrew Santino]

So now.

[Bobby Lee]

Do you not. Why. Why? Zanny.

[Andreas]

Just a chill.

[Bobby Lee]

Lexapro is depressive, right? That's a.

[Andreas]

That's a Xanax, like, calms your heart rate down. Like it relaxes you.

[Bobby Lee]

Well, common. Common warning signs of relapse include glamorizing past drug and alcohol use. Bobby does that false sense of control.

[Andrew Santino]

Wait, wait, wait. What?

[Andreas]

Don't you glamorize, like, the past?

[Andrew Santino]

I don't.

[Andreas]

Okay.

[Andrew Santino]

I'm shameful of it.

[Bobby Lee]

Not engaging in sober fun.

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah. I'm always. I'm Mr. AA convention guy. I'm on the dance floor.

[Bobby Lee]

Sudden changes in behavior.

[Andrew Santino]

No, I'm straightforward.

[Bobby Lee]

I think what happened today was a little sudden.

[Andrew Santino]

I wasn't. It's. It's. It tracks well with who I am, though.

[Bobby Lee]

It does track very well.

[Andrew Santino]

That's not sudden.

[Bobby Lee]

Hanging around old people in places associated with past use.

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah. Him. Carlos.

[Andreas]

No.

[Bobby Lee]

Well, that's bad for both of you.

[Andrew Santino]

For both of us. Yeah. Yeah.

[Bobby Lee]

What can we do to get you off weed?

[Andrew Santino]

He's not gonna ever get off.

[Andreas]

Do you need to get me on other drug?

[Bobby Lee]

No. No, Carlos.

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah, that's what I'm saying.

[Bobby Lee]

You don't need weed.

[Andreas]

But I. I think I do.

[Bobby Lee]

You do? Every day.

[Andrew Santino]

Every day? Yeah.

[Bobby Lee]

All that.

[Andreas]

Something.

[Bobby Lee]

You're back every. All day now.

[Andreas]

Just in, like, when I wake up and then, like at three, and then at six, and then at nine and then at midnight.

[Bobby Lee]

So when you wake up. Yeah, after you eat. High again. High at lunch, high at dinner. High for here. Are you high now?

[Andreas]

No, because on shoot days, I stop around three.

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah, but just those. Oh, yeah. Thank you.

[Bobby Lee]

Oh, my God.

[Andrew Santino]

My God.

[Andreas]

Because I don't want to smell for Andrew or you.

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah. I don't care about if you smell like weed. I don't. I'd rather you try to not get high for a while.

[Andreas]

I mean, I just think that some of these warning signs are of Bobby. And that could be like a new. A new thing for therapy next week.

[Andrew Santino]

See what he was doing?

[Bobby Lee]

It's smart. It's working like a charm.

[Andrew Santino]

You see what he's doing, though?

[Andreas]

Talks about the past. Constantly has a false sense of control over his life. Hangs out at the Comedy Store even though it's been 40 years. Changes behavior, constantly isolates all the time. Never goes to meetings. Does that do sober fun?

[Andrew Santino]

I went to a meeting Monday. What did you talk about?

[Andreas]

Yeah, but that's not a lot. Just one A week and doubting the recovery.

[Bobby Lee]

How many times are you going a week?

[Andreas]

I'm like one a year.

[Bobby Lee]

Okay, dude.

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah. See what it's doing?

[Bobby Lee]

I see exactly what he's doing.

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah, yeah. He's combative.

[Bobby Lee]

Well, he's. He's. What he's doing. He's trying to. He's trying to pit you against him.

[Andrew Santino]

If I'm the owner at Home Depot. Oh, here we go. Okay.

[Bobby Lee]

I don't know. That doesn't seem likely. Give me. Give me somewhere else.

[Andrew Santino]

Okay. I'm at. I'm the owner of Ichiban Japanese restaurant.

[Bobby Lee]

I see it now.

[Andrew Santino]

All right. Right. And we have a new waiter.

[Bobby Lee]

Who is it?

[Andrew Santino]

Carlos? Oh, I'm the owner. I own a chain of them.

[Bobby Lee]

You do?

[Andrew Santino]

Right. And he starts pulling pranks on me.

[Bobby Lee]

Oh, he's pranking the owner?

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah, yeah. Pranking the owner.

[Bobby Lee]

Like what? He's. He's, you know, he's.

[Andrew Santino]

The owner's gonna have enough.

[Bobby Lee]

He's putting his balls on the walk.

[Andrew Santino]

Yes. Yeah.

[Bobby Lee]

He's goofing.

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah. In the stir fried noodles, he puts his butt hairs.

[Bobby Lee]

Oh, no.

[Andrew Santino]

Which is something that he would do, you know, I mean, it's good for morale.

[Andreas]

The owner's wife would think no one wants.

[Andrew Santino]

Come on their tofu. All right. That's. You.

[Bobby Lee]

Tofu's pretty bland.

[Andrew Santino]

That is true.

[Bobby Lee]

It does help.

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah. Yeah. Well, you keep that. I like to come on the tofu, but I would. No more hair in the stove. Right. All right. They could. Then they complain all the time. Right. But it's like you. Would you prank him? The owner of a chain?

[Andreas]

We've been having this conversation for years, Bob.

[Andrew Santino]

Look at that.

[Bobby Lee]

But what am I doing?

[Andreas]

Bezos.

[Andrew Santino]

What?

[Bobby Lee]

What? What's my chain? You're an ichiban. Sushi. What? What's mine?

[Andrew Santino]

An Irish pub.

[Bobby Lee]

Oh, he's not.

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah.

[Bobby Lee]

He's not pranking me at the Irish pub.

[Andrew Santino]

No, no.

[Bobby Lee]

He's not even camping.

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah.

[Bobby Lee]

I wouldn't get a job.

[Andrew Santino]

Exactly, dude.

[Bobby Lee]

I get it.

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah, yeah.

[Bobby Lee]

You hire who you love and they. And they betray you.

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah. I just don't think that in a situation of any boss, you know, I mean, employee situation.

[Bobby Lee]

Got it.

[Andrew Santino]

The employee would talk to the boss or do things like that. He thinks, but he thinks in this environment, I guess out. If we weren't doing this, we'd be friends. But this is like a. More of a business.

[Bobby Lee]

I get it. Yeah.

[Andrew Santino]

Right.

[Andreas]

There's an example, though.

[Andrew Santino]

Give me an example.

[Andreas]

One day you walked off the set and told. And said I couldn't be here, but I'm right here.

[Bobby Lee]

That's true today. That is true.

[Andrew Santino]

That happened today, right?

[Bobby Lee]

That happened literally today.

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah, yeah. That's what I'm saying.

[Bobby Lee]

I get it.

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah, yeah. It's. It doesn't feel like.

[Bobby Lee]

Let me change gears. Okay, go ahead, because this is going to make you mad. This made me mad. We're gonna be.

[Andrew Santino]

We're gonna. And that's do with me.

[Bobby Lee]

No.

[Andrew Santino]

Well, then go ahead.

[Bobby Lee]

It's gonna hurt your feelings like it hurt mine. It's actually gonna piss you off because it pissed me.

[Andrew Santino]

But has that anything to do with Bad Friends or us, our comedy?

[Bobby Lee]

No.

[Andrew Santino]

Okay, let's go.

[Bobby Lee]

So I'm sitting down there. I had to fly to Vegas yesterday. I'm just having lunch. This guy's rapping and chatting with me. Nice guy. Very nice. Somehow, some way, he gets into the chip. We're chatting. What do you do? Da, da, da. And I'm kind of throwing everything away because I just want to eat lunch. And then he goes, is this thing that you're shooting, is this like a comedy thing? I said, not really. It's kind of an interview show, you know. He goes, oh, yeah. You like comedy so far?

[Andrew Santino]

It's good. Let me. Can I judge your story from now? From here?

[Bobby Lee]

Sure.

[Andrew Santino]

Right. Bueno. Story.

[Bobby Lee]

Bueno.

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah. It's positive. You like comedy because he now knows who you are.

[Bobby Lee]

No, no, he does.

[Andrew Santino]

I know, but. No, that's what it sounds like right now.

[Bobby Lee]

No, I'm saying he doesn't know me because he goes, do you like comedy stuff? And I was like, yeah, okay. You're. Now you. Now you get it.

[Andrew Santino]

I know now.

[Bobby Lee]

And so I'm kind of being passive. Yeah, no, no. Yeah. Like, I like. And then the bartender chimes in. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. Have you seen. Have you seen Kill Tony? He says to the guy, oh, dude, have you. You know about that? You ever seen that show? Yep. Have I have.

[Andrew Santino]

Are you trying to ruin my 200?

[Bobby Lee]

Get ready. This million.

[Andrew Santino]

Two million.

[Bobby Lee]

This one's gonna hurt way harder.

[Andrew Santino]

It's not even done.

[Bobby Lee]

The guy goes, I love comedy. You ever run into. Because I said, I live in Los Angeles. You ever run into Joe Rogan out there? I said, you know, Yeah, I. Yeah.

[Tim Dillon]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Bobby Lee]

He lives in Austin, I think, now.

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah, yeah.

[Bobby Lee]

I'm trying to. We're closing the door. I've tried. I've done it four times. I just want to eat my chicken wrap.

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Bobby Lee]

Then finally he goes, yeah. We go to A lot of shows. And the girl goes, I do, too. I just saw Adam Ray.

[Andrew Santino]

He doesn't have 2 million subscribers.

[Bobby Lee]

Yo, the bartender and the guy are both like, I love Adam Ray. And Adam, our buddy, he's killing it.

[Andrew Santino]

I'll tell you another story. I wasn't gonna bring this up, but this happened last night. This is real, dude.

[Bobby Lee]

What?

[Andrew Santino]

I do a show.

[Bobby Lee]

We love you, Adam.

[Andrew Santino]

I don't.

[Bobby Lee]

Around. I love you right now.

[Andrew Santino]

We don't.

[Bobby Lee]

No, I love.

[Andrew Santino]

No, no, no. You know you don't.

[Bobby Lee]

I love him so much.

[Andrew Santino]

It's a war.

[Bobby Lee]

It's a war with us, Adam.

[Andrew Santino]

All right, so I'm gonna tell you another thing. Last night, you know, I'm the guy on the list sometimes. You're the guy.

[Bobby Lee]

You're. You're always the guy, right?

[Andrew Santino]

Do well, right? And then I get a text, hey, man, you there at the store?

[Bobby Lee]

I go, yeah, Ron White.

[Andrew Santino]

No.

[Bobby Lee]

Who's that?

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah. I mean, fuck. Yeah, I'm on my way. Theo.

[Bobby Lee]

Oh, Theo, right? Your buddy, he shows up. Yeah.

[Andrew Santino]

Not even on the lineup. A group of girls in the hallway, they had already seen me perform.

[Bobby Lee]

Loved it.

[Andrew Santino]

They didn't say anything.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah, they loved it, right?

[Andrew Santino]

They see Theo and they go, can we get a photo with you? I'm standing right next to Theo. So they all grew up. Up, right? And then one of the girls saw that I was sad. Say that line. You know what I mean? Can we get a photo? Throw a photo with you, Theo.

[Bobby Lee]

Oh, Theo, can we get a photo with you? Sir, would you take our picture with Theo?

[Andrew Santino]

That's what it was about to happen. No, but one of the girls goes, you can be in a two.

[Bobby Lee]

No, no, no, no. Don't, don't.

[Andrew Santino]

No, I've had enough.

[Bobby Lee]

Nobody likes us anymore. We're old news, babe.

[Andrew Santino]

I know, dude.

[Bobby Lee]

We're old news.

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah.

[Bobby Lee]

It's over.

[Andrew Santino]

We should do Falling Down Part 2.

[Bobby Lee]

Can we make you happy?

[Andrew Santino]

At this point, I don't think today.

[Andreas]

I bet we can go to the White House.

[Bobby Lee]

Carlos, hold on. Stop.

[Andrew Santino]

No.

[Bobby Lee]

I bet we can make you happy.

[Andrew Santino]

I bet you not. And what you're about to do doesn't make me happy. I'm gonna be even more mad.

[Bobby Lee]

Let's play the video from. From our boy.

[Andrew Santino]

Here we go. Sweet already. I'm not happy.

[Bobby Lee]

The sweetest prince on earth.

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah.

[Carlos Herrera]

Hey, guys, I've been in Tokyo for less than 24 hours, and it's been awesome. I don't feel sick at all or anything yet. And I saw some four leaf clovers. On a building that made me think of Andrew. And then I saw a guy on a poster that made me think of Bobby. So thanks very much for sending me here.

[Bobby Lee]

That's you.

[Andrew Santino]

Wow.

[Bobby Lee]

That's you in the corner.

[Andrew Santino]

Wow.

[Carlos Herrera]

Day two, and I don't feel sick at all.

[Bobby Lee]

He's having a blast.

[Andrew Santino]

Oh, that's great.

[Carlos Herrera]

He went there alone to think of some kind of gift to get for Bobby and Andrew, just as a way of saying thank you. So I've just been on the lookout for that. I saw, like, a place that was selling bars of gold yesterday. You get a really little one for, like, $35. So I was thinking maybe something like that, but I don't know if that's. If they would rather have that or just the money.

[Andrew Santino]

Oh.

[Bobby Lee]

Did the coolest museum.

[Andrew Santino]

Wow. Wow.

[Bobby Lee]

He loves trains. Yeah. Loves.

[Andrew Santino]

Wow.

[Carlos Herrera]

Airbnb is across the street from a tattoo parlor, and it gave me the idea that maybe a good way of saying thank you and expressing my gratitude would be to get a tattoo that says thank you or says bad friends or something. But I just don't have any tattoos and don't want any, so I don't know if I'll do that. Carlos asked me to buy some women's underwear from a vending machine, so I'm going to try to find a vending machine like that before I leave.

[Bobby Lee]

Are those used? They are. So they're used women's underwear and they sell them in vending machines.

[Andrew Santino]

They don't wash them?

[Andreas]

No. His adventure getting them is right here.

[Bobby Lee]

Okay.

[Andrew Santino]

Oh, you smell them?

[Bobby Lee]

What do. What do you do when you get them?

[Andreas]

Smell. Put in your mouth.

[Andrew Santino]

Oh, God.

[Tim Dillon]

Rocket Money.

[Andrew Santino]

Oh, my God. I love Rocket Money. Do you know why? Yeah, I love saving money.

[Bobby Lee]

You do?

[Andrew Santino]

You know how many subscriptions I used to have?

[Tim Dillon]

It's embarrassing.

[Andrew Santino]

It's embarrassing. Three video games. A meditative one that some of these I don't even use.

[Tim Dillon]

At one time, you were paying for, like, 13 game apps or something.

[Andrew Santino]

That's what I'm saying. And it bleeds money. Right? So what. What is it? What does Rocket Money do?

[Tim Dillon]

Rocket Money is a personal finance app that helps find and cancel your unwanted subscriptions, monitors your spending, and helps you lower your bill so you can grow your savings.

[Andrew Santino]

I spent. I save hundreds and hundreds and hundreds of dollars every year. Because of Rocket Money?

[Tim Dillon]

Yeah, because you were blowing it, man. You just signing up for stuff and let them negotiate the bills for you. By the way, they scan your bills to find opportunities to save. You can ask them, negotiate for me, they'll deal with customer service so you don't have to.

[Andrew Santino]

It's easy. Rocket Money has dashboard that gives you a clear view of your expenses across all of your accounts.

[Tim Dillon]

That's exactly.

[Andrew Santino]

It's so easy. Easy. Create a personalized budget with custom categories to help keep you spending on track. See your monthly spending trends in each category to know exactly where your money is going.

[Tim Dillon]

Rocket money has over 5 million users, has saved a total of 500 million in cancel subscriptions saving members up to $740 a year when they use all the apps premium features. So cancel your unwanted subscriptions and reach your financial goals faster with Rocket Money.

[Andrew Santino]

Download the Rocket Money app and enter our show name Bad Friends in the survey so they know we sent you.

[Bobby Lee]

Don't wait.

[Tim Dillon]

Download the Rocket Money app today and tell them you heard about it from our show Bad Friends.

[Andrew Santino]

Shopify Andrew nobody does selling better than who Shopify, of course. Home of the number one checkout on the planet Earth.

[Bobby Lee]

That's right.

[Tim Dillon]

And the not so secret secret was shop pay that boost conversions up to 50% meaning way less cards abandoned how much 50 holes way less carts are going to go abandone bob and way more sales are going where up up.

[Andrew Santino]

Up up up up up up up up up. So if you're into growing your business, your commerce platform better be ready to sell whatever your customers are scrolling or strolling on the web, in your store, in their feed and everywhere in between.

[Tim Dillon]

When you're thinking about businesses that are selling through the roof like Aloe Allbirds or Skims, everybody be loving. I love Skims.

[Andrew Santino]

I love Skims.

[Tim Dillon]

You know what you think about great product, sure, cool brand, brilliant marketing, blah blah blah. But the secret of the business behind the business behind the businesses businesses business. That's right is Shopify. Upgrade your business and get the same checkout that Skims uses.

[Andrew Santino]

Sign up for your $1 per month trial period at shopify.com bad friends all.

[Tim Dillon]

Lowercase go to shopify.com bad friends to upgrade your selling today. Shopify.com bad friends this episode is brought.

[Andrew Santino]

To you by Selectquote. Life insurance can have a huge impact on our family's future with Selectquote getting covered with the right policy for you is simple and affordable. Selectquote's licensed insurance agents will tailor your experience to find a life insurance policy for your needs in as little as 15 minutes. And selectquote partners with carriers that provide policies for many conditions. Selectquote they shop, you save. Go to select selectquote.com Spotify Pod. Today to get started, Carlos asked me.

[Carlos Herrera]

To buy some women's underwear from a vending machine. So I'm gonna try to find a vending machine like that before I leave. I found the vending machine Carlos is looking for, but it's really hard to do it used.

[Bobby Lee]

It does say used.

[Andrew Santino]

This is used.

[Bobby Lee]

Dude, look at what he did for you, Carlos.

[Andreas]

So awesome.

[Bobby Lee]

How much are they?

[Andreas]

Like four Japanese quarters.

[Bobby Lee]

Four Japanese quarters. Oh, and they come in like a toy ball?

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah. Wow. That's incredible.

[Bobby Lee]

Is this just a grocery store?

[Carlos Herrera]

I got it and I put it.

[Bobby Lee]

He wants it far away from him.

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah. So great.

[Bobby Lee]

It's got air holes on it.

[Andrew Santino]

How long was he out there for?

[Andreas]

He's still out there.

[Bobby Lee]

No, he. We didn't buy him a return.

[Andrew Santino]

How is he gonna get back?

[Bobby Lee]

That's not on us to figure out.

[Andrew Santino]

We put up the Airbnb.

[Bobby Lee]

No, we gave him a one way ticket.

[Andreas]

No Airbnb. He paid for that.

[Bobby Lee]

We gave him a one way ticket to Japan.

[Andrew Santino]

How's he gonna get back?

[Bobby Lee]

I don't know, but I'm sure he'll.

[Andrew Santino]

Some get him back.

[Bobby Lee]

Do we want to get him back, you guys, or.

[Andrew Santino]

I don't think so, but leave him.

[Bobby Lee]

There for a while.

[Andrew Santino]

Okay, we'll leave him there.

[Bobby Lee]

We'll just leave him. But he'll be fine.

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah, he'll be fine out there. Yeah.

[Andreas]

He texts me every morning. He seems happy.

[Bobby Lee]

I think he's loving every second of it.

[Andrew Santino]

I got these chocolate chip cookies, by the way, if you want something.

[Bobby Lee]

By the way, can I. Can this be a segment of the show where we literally just send him around the world for the next, like, couple of years? Yeah, I just want to literally. Let's fly him.

[Andrew Santino]

Next one. Yemen. Yemen.

[Bobby Lee]

Yemen.

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah, look at Yemen. Yemen. Or Omen. Yeah, yeah, but let's fly him from Japan to another location. Let's see how long he just stays out of the country.

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah.

[Bobby Lee]

Can we do this, Carlos? Text him and ask him if he wants to go somewhere else.

[Andreas]

Okay, that'd be.

[Bobby Lee]

Just fly this kid around the world. Seoul, Korea would love, but no, we want him to go the other way.

[Andrew Santino]

Oh.

[Bobby Lee]

I want him to keep going west.

[Andrew Santino]

Can you go to Moscow?

[Andreas]

No, he shouldn't go there.

[Bobby Lee]

Why?

[Andrew Santino]

Why?

[Bobby Lee]

Moscow's nice.

[Andreas]

It's a country at war.

[Bobby Lee]

So are we. Yeah, we're always at war, man.

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah.

[Bobby Lee]

All right, we'll send him to another place.

[Andrew Santino]

Ukraine then.

[Bobby Lee]

Yes, send me Ukraine.

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah.

[Bobby Lee]

Keev, see if there's tickets to Gaza. See if we can see if we can send them.

[Andrew Santino]

Wow.

[Bobby Lee]

Can I take a second to say something tragic?

[Andrew Santino]

I have some tragic things.

[Bobby Lee]

Heartbreak. There was a school shooter on FSU's campus today.

[Andrew Santino]

I know.

[Bobby Lee]

And obviously this episode passed. How many people?

[Andrew Santino]

Two.

[Bobby Lee]

Did you guys see the video on the Internet?

[Andrew Santino]

No.

[Bobby Lee]

McCone showed me. He got banned. A girl was filming. A girl. Guy. Girl. McCone. Is that a girl?

[Andrew Santino]

I don't. We don't know. Or the girl is.

[Carlos Herrera]

Dad.

[Andreas]

We don't know who was filming.

[Andrew Santino]

But you saw a girl.

[Bobby Lee]

There was a girl on her phone. The video went viral. For a second, she's just filming a body on the ground, and she's drinking a Starbucks walking by like, it's not big. Not a big deal. Honestly. Like, this is the kind of stuff where you're like, what? I don't know what the. I don't know what's happening now. I don't know what's happening now. Everybody's in a pure panic.

[Andrew Santino]

Juan Carlos Gomez Lopez.

[Bobby Lee]

Is that a new basketball player? Who is that?

[Andrew Santino]

Juan Carlos Gomez Lopez.

[Bobby Lee]

Is that Louis Gomez's brother?

[Andrew Santino]

All right, so this is what happened. This kid, American citizen, born in Atlanta, Georgia, went to Florida, got pulled over, and then he was in ICE custody.

[Bobby Lee]

But if he's an American citizen, I don't know.

[Andrew Santino]

And then Mom. Then the mom showed up with his fucking birth certificate.

[Bobby Lee]

Do you know?

[Andrew Santino]

And the judge said, ice, it has him.

[Bobby Lee]

Well, there's also. He's got too many names. Go back up.

[Andrew Santino]

You say, yes, we call. It's like if you meet a white guy named Kevin Steve, you know, I.

[Bobby Lee]

Mean, Bob Allen Smith.

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Bobby Lee]

Juan Carlos Lopez Gomez. Yeah, that's the problem. You're giving them too much.

[Andrew Santino]

That's what it is. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Bobby Lee]

If it was just Juan Carlos. Fine. I mean.

[Andrew Santino]

Or Vladimir. Vladimir.

[Bobby Lee]

Vladimir. Vlad.

[Andrew Santino]

Vladimir Gomez.

[Bobby Lee]

Fine.

[Andrew Santino]

That's fine.

[Bobby Lee]

That's totally fine.

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah. That's why I only use one last name.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah. Rosende. Because it's probably like, Rosende Capalo.

[Andrew Santino]

Do you have a lot of those?

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah, yeah.

[Andrew Santino]

Why? Well, you have a middle name, and we have two last names.

[Bobby Lee]

It's for. There's. You know what? There's this for land and lineage and all this.

[Andrew Santino]

I know. They're not special, dude.

[Bobby Lee]

The record for the longest personal name belongs to Herbert Blaine Wolfenschlagan Gaussian Hoffenbergen Doff Senior.

[Andrew Santino]

Wow.

[Bobby Lee]

German American typesetter.

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah. This one won't go to ice.

[Bobby Lee]

So Juan Carlos Gomez is gone as he's being deported.

[Andrew Santino]

He got released.

[Bobby Lee]

Oh, he's back.

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah, but he was still in custody for hours and hours.

[Bobby Lee]

Crazy.

[Andrew Santino]

That's crazy. But he came back and then for Kilimar, Abrego Garcia.

[Bobby Lee]

Again, too many names.

[Andrew Santino]

I know, but you know, the senator went down to El Salvador to visit him and they. He sat down with him.

[Bobby Lee]

Really? Oh, that's him.

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah, yeah, it's crazy.

[Bobby Lee]

Give him something to drink. Just water.

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah, just what?

[Bobby Lee]

Bring him a coffee, bring him a soda.

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah, but he's in a maximum, you know, I mean, gulag, that's.

[Bobby Lee]

That looks pretty minimum to me. That looks like a. I think he took a Cracker Barrel.

[Andrew Santino]

Denny's out. You know what I mean? But I don't think he's out. I think he has to go back in.

[Bobby Lee]

By the way, I had, while I was gone, I had Waffle House. Haven't had Waffle House.

[Andrew Santino]

Love it.

[Bobby Lee]

I haven't had it in so good. 20 years.

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah.

[Bobby Lee]

Ph nominal.

[Andrew Santino]

It's the best.

[Bobby Lee]

It's.

[Andrew Santino]

We don't have one in la.

[Bobby Lee]

We don't have any Waffle Houses in Los Angeles.

[Andrew Santino]

California.

[Bobby Lee]

What?

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah, the South.

[Bobby Lee]

Well, it's funny because we're always on the road, so. I see them all the time.

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. I see them all the time. And I always point, I go, I want to go there.

[Bobby Lee]

It's the.

[Andrew Santino]

Or Hardee's.

[Bobby Lee]

Hardee's is.

[Andrew Santino]

Oh my God.

[Bobby Lee]

Hardee's is what, what's the same chain?

[Andrew Santino]

Carl's.

[Bobby Lee]

Carl's Jr. Okay, this, this dude. I ate, I ate late at night. Waffle House.

[Andrew Santino]

What you get?

[Bobby Lee]

I mean, we got the, what is it called? The, it's this combo. It's. It was eggs, two kinds of meat, potatoes. I. We got multiple waffles to share. Because I was hungry.

[Andrew Santino]

I don't know what kind of bread this is, but it's called Texas bread.

[Bobby Lee]

Oh. Yeah.

[Andrew Santino]

It's like, why is it so thick and delicious?

[Bobby Lee]

Well, because it's like, what do you call it? It's like garlic bread. Butter bread. Garlic. Texas toast.

[Andrew Santino]

Texas toast. That's what it's called. Texas toast. And then. So I'll get a breakfast sandwich with that. Oh, you. I mean, but you know, they're a.

[Bobby Lee]

Little rude at Waffle House.

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah.

[Bobby Lee]

Can I explain why? Why do you want to work a 24 hour restaurant for $6 an hour?

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah, that's right.

[Bobby Lee]

And deal with drunk fuckheads at three in the morning?

[Andrew Santino]

You're right. Right.

[Bobby Lee]

I give. I tip my hat to these people.

[Andrew Santino]

Oh yeah.

[Bobby Lee]

By the way, here's the thing about waffle House. I'll give them a shout out. They love fights.

[Andrew Santino]

Oh, my God.

[Bobby Lee]

They posted this. This is Waffle House posting it from their account.

[Andrew Santino]

Wow. This is incredible.

[Bobby Lee]

You know why they're doing this? This girl, she didn't finish her waffle. And that's the staff. You got to finish your meal at Waffle House.

[Andrew Santino]

God, that girl had too much Waffle House.

[Bobby Lee]

That's Waffle Mansion right there.

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah. Yeah. Wow.

[Bobby Lee]

Entire Waffle Subdivision happening.

[Andrew Santino]

Look at that. Oh, my God.

[Bobby Lee]

So this is an entire Twitter page dedicated to fights at Waffle House. A lot of times, it's the staff fighting.

[Andrew Santino]

And also, just push pause for a second. It only happens to be black people.

[Bobby Lee]

I didn't even notice that. I didn't even notice that.

[Andrew Santino]

You didn't.

[Bobby Lee]

I did not.

[Andrew Santino]

Neither did I. I. I don't know.

[Bobby Lee]

Here's the wild shit. You always see a manager jump in.

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah.

[Bobby Lee]

Like this. This lady. This old white lady jumping in.

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah.

[Bobby Lee]

Hey, Sheila, take a hike.

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah.

[Bobby Lee]

You're going to get killed.

[Andrew Santino]

You're going to kill. Yeah.

[Bobby Lee]

Look at her. Guys, cut it out. Not by the burner.

[Andrew Santino]

If you're in, the wall falls. You and I, we would already be in our car. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Like, if somebody, like, I've had TMZ put a camera to my face.

[Bobby Lee]

I hate it.

[Andrew Santino]

What do you think of this? I don't say anything.

[Bobby Lee]

I get so nervous. Have you got. They had you at the airport before.

[Andrew Santino]

Oh, yeah. And I always pull him aside. Go, dude. You know. All right.

[Bobby Lee]

You know what's so funny? They're the last couple of guys that have come up to me, have. So polite and nice. Like, I've never. We're not famous enough for it to be a thing. Yeah, but the guy came up to me at the airport. He was like, oh, Ms. Santino. I was like, hey, man, I just got off. Is it. I don't want to do this. Is that I'm so.

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Bobby Lee]

And he was like, oh, cool.

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah. That's what they do.

[Bobby Lee]

It was very nice.

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah, they're very nice.

[Bobby Lee]

No, but they don't do that to everyone, dude. The way that real famous people get harassed. Like, look at all the. That's going on with Justin Bieber. They can't leave this fucking kid alone, man. And they're like, oh, he's being mean to the paparazzi. He's like, yeah. No, man. No. Leave the kid alone.

[Andrew Santino]

This was an hour ago.

[Bobby Lee]

This was posted an hour ago.

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah.

[Tim Dillon]

They're.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah.

[Andrew Santino]

It's insane, dude.

[Bobby Lee]

Leave the kid alone. Obviously, dude. Obviously. It's. It's like he's twisted up right now.

[Andrew Santino]

He's just like a smurf. Let him be.

[Bobby Lee]

Let him be. Little papa Smurf.

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah, I can't. Would you be able to live like that?

[Bobby Lee]

No.

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah, me either.

[Bobby Lee]

No, the good news is I'm not that talented, so I'll never have to.

[Andrew Santino]

Worry about it either. Me, Them, either.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah, the Kanye stuff, too. It's like. You can almost say part of his crack came from the paparazzi. Like this. Like, filming him in the morning.

[Andrew Santino]

In the morning. That's just crazy. Yeah, it's crazy.

[Tim Dillon]

I think.

[Bobby Lee]

I think part of the reason these people go nuts is because of this, like, constant. It's constant.

[Andrew Santino]

Not healthy.

[Bobby Lee]

Neither is the fame, though. Beyond the paparazzi, the fame itself isn't healthy. That fame being that famous isn't healthy.

[Andrew Santino]

Who's that? No, right there to the left.

[Bobby Lee]

Young Bobby Lee. Look.

[Andrew Santino]

No, go back. Oh, that's that thing right there. The shorts.

[Bobby Lee]

The first one.

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah, that.

[Carlos Herrera]

It's you.

[Andrew Santino]

Oh, my God.

[Bobby Lee]

Wow, wow, wow. Look at how young you are.

[Andrew Santino]

I know. Oh, my God. My comedy was so bad back then. Well, at least some things never change.

[Bobby Lee]

I want to eat one more cookie.

[Andrew Santino]

I don't know. Wait. I don't know.

[Bobby Lee]

I wouldn't say anything.

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah. I don't know what was worse, but cone saying that or the weasel laughing. I can't describe you. I can't figure it out. Like, what am I more angry about? You.

[Bobby Lee]

I mean, Carlos, you want to pop up and defend yourself, buddy?

[Andreas]

I was laughing because I knew how mad Bobby would get at that.

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah. Yeah. You know what? I do my special. You guys aren't coming.

[Andreas]

Oh, like, when I'm 45 years old.

[Andrew Santino]

I'm doing in January of what year?

[Andreas]

January was two months ago.

[Andrew Santino]

All right. I. Whenever I do it. You're not going to go.

[Andreas]

Are you serious? Yeah, but I. I do want to go.

[Andrew Santino]

You're not going. There's no way. I want positive people there. I was just kidding, Bobby. You're not going. You're not going to. And, you know, a lot of people on the streets are just like, we can't wait. We'll be there. We're going to support it. All my. The community, Tim Dillon, everybody. Everyone's, like, into it. And the people that work into your special. Yeah. They can't wait. You're a crusher. And finally, you know. I mean.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah.

[Andrew Santino]

You know, in a lot of fans. Can't wait. And the people that are close to me, that are part of my team, supposedly are against me. What does that mean? What would you do in a situation like this?

[Bobby Lee]

Well, I didn't invite any of those guys to my special.

[Andrew Santino]

I know. That's right, right, right.

[Bobby Lee]

Well, I. I wouldn't want them there.

[Andrew Santino]

Did Carlos go to yours?

[Bobby Lee]

No. Yeah, he wasn't invited.

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah, yeah.

[Bobby Lee]

So that was deliberate.

[Andrew Santino]

You won't be getting an invite.

[Bobby Lee]

You know it's going to break his heart. That's like. That means the most to him.

[Andrew Santino]

Who for Carlos? Yeah.

[Andreas]

It's like sad. We've known each other since like Obama was president.

[Andrew Santino]

Okay.

[Andreas]

Like you've met my parents and like you get mad because like you thought.

[Andrew Santino]

You and your dad's very disappointed. I'll tell you that.

[Carlos Herrera]

Right.

[Andrew Santino]

Surgeon.

[Andreas]

No, no, no. Let's go back to it. What's insane is that you're mad at me cuz you thought you were important enough.

[Andrew Santino]

I can't do. I can't. The leader of the free world's house. I can't slam you.

[Andreas]

Oh no, it's.

[Andrew Santino]

Now you're turning it around. Slam him over his dad right when he slams me. What? I keep it quiet.

[Bobby Lee]

Kept it quiet.

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah, yeah. He gets immediately defensive, like, oh, but you. You know what I mean?

[Bobby Lee]

No slams, huh?

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Bobby Lee]

No slams allowed.

[Andrew Santino]

I can't. I can't do that. No, I did that. I'm learning.

[Andreas]

I'm learning right now.

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah.

[Bobby Lee]

Is this a no slam allowed?

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah, it's a one way street.

[Bobby Lee]

How about this? Is Fancy invited to your special?

[Andrew Santino]

I think so. Yeah.

[Bobby Lee]

You do?

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah.

[Bobby Lee]

He's been kissing your ass all day.

[Andrew Santino]

I know. I think so. Playing it right.

[Bobby Lee]

I think when I leave in May, taking my parents on vacation, not to be sound. It's probably our last family vacation together. Well, my parents are getting older. They're not going to travel a lot. So like it's weird. It's weird.

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah.

[Bobby Lee]

To be this age and to be like. I don't know. I don't think my parents will ever get on a plane again with me and go somewhere far.

[Andrew Santino]

Wow. Also you're gonna go.

[Bobby Lee]

I'm taking them to Italy.

[Andrew Santino]

Oh, great.

[Bobby Lee]

But I think like when I go away because I'm gone for them for like a week and a half. Why don't you.

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah.

[Bobby Lee]

Take a Bobby vacation and get away and disappear from all this shit.

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah.

[Bobby Lee]

And don't do anything business.

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah.

[Bobby Lee]

Just disappear for a while.

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah.

[Bobby Lee]

And see where you fall into. See who you meet. See what you get into. Go like What Dax is doing in Japan. Why can't. Why. Why don't you do that? Why don't you disappear for a week?

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah.

[Bobby Lee]

Seriously, Shut off your phone.

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah.

[Bobby Lee]

And disappear. Why. Why are you not. Why are you shaking your head?

[Andreas]

Shouldn't do that.

[Bobby Lee]

Wait, why? I'm not asking him to use. I'm saying go. Be. Be one with yourself.

[Andreas]

Okay.

[Bobby Lee]

You don't trust him.

[Andreas]

I mean, alone in a hotel room without us knowing.

[Bobby Lee]

He's alone in a hotel room all the time.

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah. All the time.

[Bobby Lee]

He just did it.

[Andrew Santino]

I just did it.

[Bobby Lee]

He was just in Columbus.

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah.

[Andreas]

Okay.

[Bobby Lee]

I trust you enough to know that you're comfortable. You're comfortable in your sobriety.

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah.

[Bobby Lee]

Don't you think so?

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah. I gotta go to a foreign land, though. I think.

[Bobby Lee]

Where.

[Andrew Santino]

You can come to Spain. The Barbados or something.

[Bobby Lee]

Barbados?

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah. What?

[Bobby Lee]

I'm gonna be 100 honest with you.

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah. Not good.

[Bobby Lee]

I don't. I don't know where that is.

[Andrew Santino]

I don't either. I heard it. Liar. Or something.

[Bobby Lee]

I actually don't know where that is.

[Andrew Santino]

I don't know.

[Bobby Lee]

I'm not even kidding.

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah. Barbado.

[Bobby Lee]

Is it. Is it in the French Polynesian. I mean, is it in the.

[Andrew Santino]

Oh, my God.

[Bobby Lee]

Look how you. Virgin Islands. Virgin Islands.

[Andrew Santino]

Let's go. Let's. That's how small it is.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah. What is that? That's the Virgin Islands. Am I wrong? Look at the pictures. Go to Barbados.

[Andrew Santino]

I want to go to Barbados.

[Bobby Lee]

Can we get him to Barbados? Guys.

[Andrew Santino]

No, I have. I can do it. Look at it.

[Bobby Lee]

Wow.

[Andrew Santino]

Wow.

[Bobby Lee]

Don't you think? Bobby on a beach.

[Andrew Santino]

Barbados. Bobby in Barbados.

[Bobby Lee]

Bobby in Barbados. Beatles Barbie in Barbados. Barbie. Bobby. Bobby.

[Andrew Santino]

See those. The coral reef over there.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah.

[Andrew Santino]

That's where you're gonna see my dead body.

[Bobby Lee]

Stop.

[Andrew Santino]

Three days bloating. They haven't found me in three days. I wash up under that coral reef.

[Bobby Lee]

You're not going swimming.

[Andrew Santino]

Oh, yeah, yeah.

[Bobby Lee]

No, you're beaching it.

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah.

[Bobby Lee]

You're sitting on that.

[Andrew Santino]

My torsos in a shark's mouth.

[Bobby Lee]

Look at. I see you in that cabana right there.

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah. Dead.

[Bobby Lee]

Smoking a cigarette.

[Andrew Santino]

Heroin overdose.

[Bobby Lee]

Stop it.

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Bobby Lee]

Stop it.

[Andrew Santino]

That's where I'll die.

[Bobby Lee]

Go somewhere foreign after.

[Andrew Santino]

Maybe. I just want to say this now. It was really good to know you. Everyone here.

[Bobby Lee]

No, no, no, no, no, no, no.

[Andrew Santino]

For all the laughs. You have to wait until January. He's trying to get out of the special. Oh, is that. Is that another slam? Trying to get out of this fight. I mean, what you're gonna do at 2032.

[Bobby Lee]

That's what you get. Hey. So we genuinely want to say thank you so much to our fans.

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah.

[Bobby Lee]

Means the world to us that you guys have been around five years we've been doing this, and we're up to 2 million subscribers.

[Andrew Santino]

That's incredible.

[Bobby Lee]

We're gonna keep making you laugh with beautiful content. Please come see us because we don't know when we're gonna tour again. If you're in London or Dublin, you gotta come. You got to come see us because we might not be able to tour for a long time. Bobby's got a special coming out, then he's going to take some time down because he's been working very hard. So please come see us in London and Dublin and we really appreciate the fans. You guys mean the world to us.

[Andrew Santino]

Thank you so much. I love it from the bottom of my heart. I, I honestly, before Bad Friends, I feel like I was just not doing anything important or making a wave in my creativity. And the family that we've gotten from Bad Friends has been such a surprise, and it's really keeping me alive, I think, you know, So I just really appreciate the love and the support. I'm gonna get a new staff eventually. You know what I mean? So there might be some changes, but Andrew and I will always be here.

[Bobby Lee]

We'll always be here for you. And if you do and if you at home want some changes, if you can sub to take over for one of the staff members, please email carlosintheboothgmail.com that will go to Carlos, but we'll have to have someone else flag it because he will just delete all these.

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah, yeah. In fact, go to Andres maybe.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah. Andreas, you will give him the login. Go to carlosintheboothgmail.com and Andres will read those and by the way, send in a video of you auction. What is that? Auditioning for that job. You can replace one of these guys. I have no problem with.

[Andrew Santino]

I have no problem with the year.

[Andreas]

And actively delete resumes that come in.

[Bobby Lee]

Well, we're going to make sure that we're going to change it now. We're going to change it so that.

[Andreas]

Carlos, if you ever wanted a job on here, I've deleted it.

[Bobby Lee]

Another thing we can't trust.

[Andrew Santino]

That's what I'm saying.

[Bobby Lee]

It's like we cannot trust this guy.

[Andrew Santino]

You were.

[Bobby Lee]

He's smoking weed, deleting emails. All right. Thank you for being a bad friend.

[Andrew Santino]

D.