New Episode on Patreon Today

Summary

Bad Friends — "New Episode on Patreon Today"

Hosts: Andrew Santino & Bobby Lee

Date: July 24, 2026

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Overview

In this Patreon-exclusive episode of "Bad Friends," Andrew Santino and Bobby Lee riff on their recent obsession with soccer — from suddenly following games to the cultural impact of big matches among Los Angeles’ Latino communities. They veer from sports commentary to characteristic asides, including playful banter about soccer players' personal lives, celebrations, and even anatomy. It’s a classic display of the duo’s chemistry, mixing irreverence, wit, and offbeat insight.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

Bobby’s Newfound Soccer Obsession

• [00:30] Bobby reveals he’s been "watching more soccer than ever," surprising even himself with his level of interest.
  • Quote (Bobby, 00:37): “That I'm interested in it.”
  • Andrew affirms the game's draw, but Bobby only likes watching full games, not dissecting highlights or "all the nuance."

The Mexico Game & Local Fandom

• [00:48] Andrew recounts watching the Mexico game at the Wii Spa, noting the enthusiasm of the staff.
• [01:01] Bobby’s curiosity about the Spanish word for “ape” devolves into a quick language lesson and laughter.
• [01:22] Andrew mentions being late and noticing staff distracted by the game.
  • They comment on the game fever among workers:
    • Quote (Andrew, 01:36): "Do the towels."
    • Quote (Bobby, 01:38): "They can't do the towels. Look at those guys. They were losing their mind."
• [01:41] Bobby notes news coverage of riots and celebrations in LA neighborhoods post-game, referencing communities like North Hollywood, Van Nuys, and Pacoima.
  • Quote (Bobby, 01:45): "Every time there's a Mexico game, you can tell."
  • Quote (Andrew, 01:51): "Look at that guy. He's got Agent Orange on his face."

Mexico’s Upcoming Match & Predictions

• [02:07] Looking forward, they discuss who Mexico plays next (England).
  • Bobby is pessimistic:
    • Quote (Bobby, 02:13): “Oh, it’s over.”
  • Andrew keeps spirits up:
    • Quote (Andrew, 02:14): “Let’s see what happens.”
• [02:17] Joking about the episode being released after the match, they pretend to react to the future result.
  • Quote (Andrew, 02:20): "What a wonderful game. Mexico won.” (jokingly, with mock enthusiasm)

Messi Appreciation

• [02:23] Bobby highlights seeing Messi play and marvels at his enduring abilities at age 40.
  • Quote (Bobby, 02:26): “Ever touch a soccer. He’s 40 and he’s still fucking.”
  • Andrew:
    • Quote (Andrew, 02:30): "He's great. He's one of the greatest of all time."
• Bobby and Andrew agree Messi is the greatest, referencing soccer legends Maradona and Zidane.
  • Quote (Bobby, 02:33): "No, no, he’s the greatest."
  • Quote (Andrew, 02:38): "You have Zined Zidane… but my point though is he is. But he is 40, okay?"
• [02:51] Bobby imagines himself playing among 19-year-olds, underscoring Messi's physical feats.

Side Tangents: Messi’s Marriage and 'WAGS'

• [03:01] The duo riff on TV shots of Messi’s wife during games.
  • Bobby comments both genuinely and distractingly:
    • Quote (Bobby, 03:10): “And I mean this—beautiful, very unattractive. No, she’s so beautiful. Gorgeous, dude.”
• [03:16] They joke about the term “WAGS” (wives and girlfriends)— originally thought to only apply to soccer but now acknowledged in all major sports.
  • Andrew:
    • Quote (Andrew, 03:16): “No, they’re called Wags.”
    • Quote (Andrew, 03:25): "That was only soccer."
  • Bobby chimes in:
    • Quote (Bobby, 03:27): "Look at him. There’s Wags in basketball, baseball. Baseball too."
    • Quote (Bobby, 03:30): "Look at his body."

Signature Bad Friends Banter: Anatomy and Absurdity

• [03:38] The hosts take it to their trademark weirdness, riffing on Messi’s sex life and anatomy in a joking (and juvenile) way.
  • Bobby:
    • Quote (Bobby, 03:38): "Can you imagine the sex that they get to have?"
    • Quote (Bobby, 03:44): "I'd love to just. I'd love to. That."
  • Andrew takes the gag further:
    • Quote (Andrew, 03:46): "How big is his balls? Like a soccer ball."
  • Bobby rounds it off:
    • Quote (Bobby, 03:48): "I guarantee he has tiny little balls. No, when you’re running a lot, your balls gotta get..."
    • Both riff on the idea of Messi painting/tattooing his balls with team colors:
      • Quote (Andrew, 03:52): "If I was him, I would make my balls look like soccer balls. Get tattoos."

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• "That I'm interested in it." — Bobby Lee [00:37]
• "Every time there's a Mexico game, you can tell." — Bobby Lee [01:45]
• "What a wonderful game. Mexico won." — Andrew Santino [02:20] (sarcastically, referencing future listeners)
• "He's great. He's one of the greatest of all time." — Andrew Santino [02:30]
• "No, no, he's the greatest." — Bobby Lee [02:33]
• "Can you imagine the sex that they get to have?" — Bobby Lee [03:38]
• "If I was him, I would make my balls look like soccer balls. Get tattoos." — Andrew Santino [03:52]

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Timestamps for Key Segments

• 00:30: Bobby admits his new soccer fandom
• 00:48: Andrew describes the spa's game-day atmosphere
• 01:41: Bobby recounts LA celebrations/riots after Mexico games
• 02:07: Role-play predictions about Mexico vs. England
• 02:23: Praise for Messi's remarkable career longevity
• 03:01: Banter about Messi's wife and the world of 'WAGS'
• 03:38: Surreal, comedic riff on soccer player anatomy

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Tone & Style

The episode maintains the irreverent, rapid-fire, and absurdly humorous rapport that defines "Bad Friends." The hosts constantly escalate each other's bits, mixing genuine cultural observations with wild imagination and cheeky in-jokes, all while playfully skewering themselves and pop culture.

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Transcript

[A]

This episode is brought to you by Facebook. So you were scrolling on Marketplace, and there it was, the bike you'd been searching for. You sent a message, and it turned out the seller was super chatty, kind of funny, and an avid cyclist. The next thing you know, you're in a cycling crew. Well, a community cycling group. The thing about Facebook, you might find more than what you're looking for, from a browse to a bike ride this summer. Find more on Facebook.

[B]

You know, I got to tell you something. I've been watching more soccer than ever now.

[C]

Good.

[B]

It's blown my mind how much soccer I'm watching.

[C]

What's blowing your mind about it?

[B]

That I'm interested in it.

[C]

Yeah, it's very interesting.

[B]

Only when it's on tv.

[C]

Oh, you can't see clips.

[B]

I watch the game, but I don't want to engage in all the nuance.

[C]

Yeah, I was at the Wii Spa last night. I saw the Mexico game.

[B]

Yeah. I watched the Mexico game from the

[C]

hotel, and there's a lot of Mexican people that work at we spa that went, yeah, I go, pick up the towel.

[B]

Pick up the towel.

[C]

Yeah, yeah. Like, what are we doing here?

[B]

How do you say ape in Spanish? How do you say ape? Mono, but it's not that. Mono.

[C]

Mierde.

[A]

De.

[C]

Mono.

[B]

Mierde.

[C]

They went, mirde. I'm late. I was late on that.

[B]

You were late?

[C]

Yeah, yeah. I'm literally looking at the towels at Wii Spa. None of them are done. All right, no, no, let's. Let's get this off my chest. Right, right. And all the. Everyone is watching the game.

[B]

Yeah, they're watching the game.

[C]

Yeah, yeah. Do the towels.

[B]

They can't do the towels. Look at those guys. They were losing their mind. I watched the news. I was in Northern California, and they were talking about riots in. In. In la. In North Hollywood.

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

I loved it. They were doing donuts. They were breaking stuff. Every time there's a Mexico game, you can. You can tell.

[C]

You can tell there's a Mexico. Look at that guy. He's got Agent Orange on his face.

[B]

Whatever.

[C]

I don't know what that is, but that's how they celebrate.

[B]

It's just asbestos. He came from work. Yeah, that's. That was in North Hollywood. That was that. Like Van Nuys, they said.

[C]

That's insane.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Is it Pacoima?

[C]

Yeah. But, you know, they play next.

[B]

Who?

[C]

Mexico.

[B]

Who do they play Sunday?

[C]

England. Oh, yeah.

[B]

Oh, it's over.

[C]

Let's see what happens.

[B]

Yeah, it's over then.

[C]

Let's just See what happens.

[B]

Although this pot will already be out by the time this happens, so. Wow. Wow, What a game.

[C]

What a wonderful game. Mexico won.

[B]

It was cool to see Messi. I'll say. I'll say that. That was cool to.

[C]

Yeah, I know.

[B]

It is. Ever touch A soccer. He's 40 and he's still fucking.

[A]

I know.

[C]

He's great. He's great. He's great. He's great. He's one of the greatest of all time.

[B]

No, no, he's the greatest.

[C]

It goes Messi Maradona. I know. Mall.

[B]

He's the best. Yeah, he's. Every soccer player ever has said he's the greatest.

[C]

He is. You have zined Zidane. You got. Yeah, you got. You got all those guys. But my point though is he is. But he is 40, okay?

[B]

You imagine me on a soccer field. That's crazy to play with. He's playing with 19 year olds.

[C]

I know.

[B]

And he's cooking them. He's cooking at 40 years old. How does he do this?

[C]

He's just born that way.

[B]

I love when they. They cut to his wife. They go. And Ms. Messi loves it as well. She's bouncing up and down, having the time of her life.

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

I will say this about his wife.

[C]

Yeah.

[B]

And I mean this beautiful, very unattractive. No, she's so beautiful. Gorgeous. Dude.

[C]

You know what they're called?

[B]

The hottest couple?

[C]

No, they're called Wags.

[B]

Wives and girlfriends. Yeah, yeah, the wives and girlfriends.

[C]

Oh, you know.

[B]

Yeah. Wags are in all sports.

[C]

That was only soccer.

[B]

Look at him. There's Wags in basketball, baseball. Baseball too.

[C]

Oh, really?

[B]

Look at his body.

[C]

Yeah. Gee, look at that body. Jimin. Yeah. His legs. They don't show his legs.

[B]

Can you imagine the sex that they get to have?

[C]

I've never imagined that. Tell me how fat. How good is it?

[B]

I'd love to just. I'd love to. That.

[C]

Yeah. How big is his balls? Like a soccer ball.

[B]

I guarantee he has tiny little balls. No, when you're running a lot, your balls got to get.

[C]

I. If I was him, I would make my balls look like soccer balls. Get tattoos.

[B]

Yeah. Paint your.

[C]

Yeah, yeah. Argentina one. And the other one. Miami. Yeah, yeah. FC Miami fc. Yeah, yeah.