New Episode on Patreon Today

Summary

Bad Friends – "New Episode on Patreon Today" (May 29, 2026)

Main Theme

In this episode, Bobby Lee and Andrew Santino delve into Bobby’s first experiences visiting an eye doctor and the revelation of needing prescription glasses. The duo reflects on eyesight, genetics, and the oddities of medical appointments, all while riffing in their signature comedic style. The banter is full of playful ribbing, cultural references, and some self-deprecating humor as Bobby processes seeing the world more clearly for the first time.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

Bobby’s First Eye Doctor Visit

• Eye Test Experiences and Struggles

  • Bobby recounts the confusion and humor of reading eye charts, botching words like "hovem" and making up nonsensical answers.
    • "Yeah, yeah. And I go, I'm blugmin." – Bobby (00:11)
  • Andrew jokes about the process: "That's only an Asian thing. They don't have to do that for us." (00:25)
  • The duo tries to guess lines off an imaginary eye chart, with Andrew ribbing Bobby for his poor eyesight.
    • "Can you do the bottom one?" – Andrew (01:13)
    • "I can't do the bottom one." – Bobby (01:14)

• The Miracle of Glasses

  • Bobby is amazed at the clarity provided by prescription glasses, comparing it to the experience of a deaf baby hearing for the first time.
    • "He put these glasses on me. I go, those are trees. Like, literally, I saw nothing. And he put the glasses on. This is across the street. I saw trees." – Bobby (01:49)
    • "You act like this is crazy science. It's just glasses." – Andrew (01:59)

• Cultural and Family References

  • Both hosts playfully comment on the prevalence of glasses in Asian culture, with Bobby noting, "There's an Asian guy wearing them. Yeah, yeah. They've been wearing it for... yeah, yeah." (02:25)

Eye Health, Genetics, and Aging

• Doctor’s Prognosis and Family History

  • Bobby relieves his worries after hearing from his doctor that his eyesight should be fine until his eighties, citing a lack of genetic predisposition for blindness.
    • "Your eyesight is going to be fine until your 80s, cuz you have good eyes." – Bobby (03:59)
    • Andrew asks about Bobby's family:
      • "Does your mom have glasses?" – Andrew (04:13)
      • "No. My dad did though." – Bobby (04:14)

• Getting New Glasses

  • Bobby shares his excitement about getting multifocal (distance and reading) prescription lenses custom-fit to his favorite frames.
    • "The top is going to be long distance and the bottom is going to be... so I can read up front." – Bobby (02:40)

• Newfound HD Vision

  • The prospect of improved sight has Bobby excited to see the world in “high def.”
    • "You're gonna see life in high def, HD, for the first time." – Andrew (04:35)

Lighthearted Banter & Memorable Moments

• On Optometry Procedures

  • Bobby’s aversion to having his eyes dilated or receiving “drop-eye.”
    • "I don't do drop eye." – Bobby (03:04)
  • The hosts laugh about the technology used during exams, mock-requesting “what NASA does.”
    • "Give me what NASA does." – Andrew (03:57)

• Riffing and Teasing

  • After Andrew suggests Bobby has “little Asian eyes,” the bit carries through the episode.
    • "He's got little Asian eyes." – Andrew (01:25, 05:27)
  • Bobby teases Andrew back for his fashion: “You little porky with your digital shirt.” (03:32)

• Music Reference Skit

  • The episode closes with a playful attempt at the lyrics to "Betty Davis Eyes," morphing the song to reference Bobby’s new “little Asian eyes.”
    • "She got Betty Davis... He's got little Asian eyes." – Andrew (05:26)

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Notable Quotes

• "He put these glasses on me. I go, those are trees. Like, literally, I saw nothing. And he put the glasses on. This is across the street. I saw trees."
  — Bobby Lee (01:49)

• "You act like this is crazy science. It's just glasses."
  — Andrew Santino (01:59)

• "I don't do drop eye. Okay. I went to—"
  — Bobby Lee (03:04)

• "You're gonna see life in high def, HD, for the first time."
  — Andrew Santino (04:35)

• "She got Betty Davis... He's got little Asian eyes."
  — Andrew Santino (05:26)

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Important Segment Timestamps

• 00:00 – 01:25: Bobby’s eye doctor visit and difficulties with the eye chart
• 01:26 – 02:40: The revelation and amazement of seeing clearly with glasses
• 02:41 – 04:18: Custom lens discussion and family vision history
• 04:19 – 05:00: Excitement about “high def” sight and glasses customization
• 05:01 – 05:27: “Betty Davis Eyes” riff and final banter

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Episode Tone & Style

The episode is packed with playful teasing, rapid-fire jokes, and candid reflection as Bobby and Andrew turn something as mundane as an eye exam into classic "Bad Friends" entertainment. Their chemistry shines as they weave genuine curiosity and personal experience into humor that is both self-aware and irreverent. The laughter is infectious, making this episode a hilarious listen for fans and newcomers alike.

Transcript

[A]

Finally, I saw an eye doctor.

[B]

What did the doc say?

[A]

We took a bunch of tests.

[B]

Yeah, like what? Like a B, F, Q.

[A]

No, he said there was one word called hovem.

[B]

Hovam.

[A]

Yeah, yeah. He goes, what does that say?

[B]

Eric said hotel.

[A]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. And I go, I'm blugmin.

[B]

I'm block.

[A]

Yeah, yeah. And he goes, that's way off. Right? Both eyes. Then he scanned the inner Tyriel of all. Where all the. Like.

[B]

That's only an.

[A]

Cells.

[B]

That's only an Asian thing.

[A]

I know.

[B]

They don't have to do that for us.

[A]

What? You know what the cells are? They're squinty. The cells were squinty.

[B]

Dud cells under microscope.

[A]

Yeah. Yeah. Oh, what are we doing?

[B]

Wait, get up that. Get that test up and let me see if we can do it. Ready, Bob?

[A]

Yes. I already know. Okay.

[B]

Okay. Well, that's not. Do the other one you just had. There it is.

[A]

This one.

[B]

Okay.

[A]

What are you gonna do?

[B]

No, I want to.

[A]

Well, you're. I'm closer. Your eyes are way better than mine.

[B]

No, I just want to see what line you can get down to. So the first.

[A]

First from here.

[B]

No. 1, 2, and 3 are fine. Do the fourth line. Fourth line down.

[A]

T, H, V, O, H, T, O, V. Next one. Here we go. H, V, T, O, T, V, H, V, T, O.

[B]

Great. Next one.

[A]

Now I'm done. Q2.

[B]

N. No, Q, O. It's O again. I mean, the letters are the same in every single.

[A]

Oh, okay. My point is, is that.

[B]

And the bottom one. Can you do that one?

[A]

I can't do the bottom one.

[B]

V, O, T, H, T, O. Wow.

[A]

Wow.

[B]

That one's teeny tiny from here.

[A]

Yeah. So.

[B]

But the doctor said you have a.

[A]

You have long distance.

[B]

He's got little Asian eyes.

[A]

I love that you have long distance. He goes, I want to show you something. It's a miracle. And I go, what is it? He goes, walk outside with me. So he was Asian, by the way.

[B]

He's like, can I get a picture?

[A]

He was Asian, by the way. And he goes, look over there. What do you see? I go, I don't. Nothing. And he put these glasses on me. I go, those are trees. Like, literally, I saw nothing. And he put the glasses on. This is across the street. I saw trees.

[B]

You act like this is crazy science. It's just glasses.

[A]

I know, but I've never had them before.

[B]

And then this is like when babies get cochlear implants and they can hear.

[A]

So what I'm saying Is that 19?

[B]

What is that? Glasses were invented in 1268. They've been around.

[A]

I don't have a Caught up yet. Okay, but when you. Because I'm, you know.

[B]

Dude, since the 13th century we've had glasses.

[A]

I know. There's an Asian guy wearing them. Yeah, yeah. They've been wearing it for. Yeah, yeah.

[B]

That's amazing.

[A]

So. So I'm getting. I don't know what they're called, but I'm getting the distance one. You know all my cool glasses I wear.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

I'm getting both lenses prescriptions.

[B]

Yeah, yeah.

[A]

I'm gonna. The top is going to be long distance and the bottom is going to be. So I can read up front. Yeah.

[B]

Oh, so you really. You'll be data. You'll be.

[A]

Actually, I'll be data. But it's so funny, after I took the glasses off, everything seems blurry. Well.

[B]

Right.

[A]

So right now everything seems blurry. So maybe I can't see. Well.

[B]

Did they do the drops in your eyes?

[A]

No.

[B]

Wait, don't they do that right when you go? No, they dilate your eye.

[A]

Dude, let me just say something to you because I'm not in the best mood and I'd like to say something to everyone, not you, to this theory. Okay. I don't do drop eye. Okay. I went to.

[B]

You have drop eye.

[A]

I have drop by.

[B]

You don't do.

[A]

I don't do drop by. I have dropped. Yeah, yeah. So why can't you read them? I'm saying.

[B]

Dude, you take it. You know what? Unbutton one more button. Yeah, yeah, unbutton one more.

[A]

You little porky with your digital shirt. I don't know. Let me just say something. Why don't you unbutton one more button? All right, So I went to. I. I called my assistant and I said, I don't want. I want future. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. So. So they had me in a lab with machinery.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

And you know what I mean?

[B]

I mean, give me what NASA does.

[A]

Yeah, that's what NASA did. So they, they were able to see the interior of my eye, the actual thing. And guess what? He goes, your eyesight is going to be fine until your 80s, cuz you have good eyes. Yeah. He says he asked me some genetic questions. There's no blindness.

[B]

Does your mom have glasses?

[A]

No. My dad did though.

[B]

Right.

[A]

And my brother does.

[B]

Steve does.

[A]

Yeah, he does. Yeah. Because he caught it early.

[B]

Yeah. Once you catch it early.

[A]

Yeah, yeah. But so now what I'm going to do is I'm going to do everything with glasses on.

[B]

Even McLove, you have to have them.

[A]

Yeah. Because I don't think I've seen it. Right, right. Yeah. Everything's been blurry.

[B]

That's what all your confusion.

[A]

That's my belly button. What? Yeah, yeah, I'm gonna see it. He goes, you're gonna see life in high def hd. Yeah. For the first time. But then I go, when I get three weeks.

[B]

Well, yeah, it takes it. They gotta make them right. It's gotta be.

[A]

Well, I want my style.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

So I'm taking my. You know, the glasses I wear. I'm going to punch out all those. You know what I mean? Lenses and put those lenses.

[B]

They'll do that. They'll do custom.

[A]

Oh, they're doing. They're doing custom work for.

[B]

Give me. Give me the lyrics to the song Betty Davis Eyes, Betty Dave. Well, it's spelled wrong, but that's fine. Betty. It'll get there.

[A]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[B]

His hair is black.

[A]

Wait, don't do it in an Asian accent.

[B]

I didn't. Yeah, I know.

[A]

Marlon. What does that even.

[B]

Arlo Gold. Yeah, but it's. I just like this part. She's got Betty. She got Betty Davis. He's got little Asian eyes.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

And he'll tease you. He'll unease you.