Ancient Korean Wise Tales w/ Howie Mandel

Summary

Podcast Summary: Bad Friends – Episode 7: "Ancient Korean Wise Tales w/ Howie Mandel"

Episode Information:

• Title: Bad Friends
• Hosts: Bobby Lee & Andrew Santino
• Guest: Howie Mandel
• Production: A 7EQUIS production
• Release Date: April 28, 2025

---

1. Introduction and Improvised Verse (00:00 – 01:36)

The episode kicks off with Bobby Lee and Andrew Santino engaging in a playful exchange of improvised verses. Bobby sets a humorous and self-deprecating tone by mocking themselves as "bad friends" and crafting a quirky, nonsensical rhyme about "legs that are tired" and "weeping eyes" ([00:00 – 01:36]). This lighthearted banter establishes the comedic chemistry between the hosts.

Notable Quote:

• Bobby Lee ([00:00]): "You two are bad friends. Who are these two idiots? A white dude and an Asian dude. You two are disgusting."

2. Donut Discussion and Show Anecdotes (01:36 – 03:32)

The conversation shifts to a humorous debate about eating donuts on the show. Andrew expresses his dislike for donuts with cream, leading to a playful challenge from Bobby to take a bite ([01:36 – 03:32]). They reminisce about awkward moments during live shows, including Bobby recounting an incident where a large man fell asleep during his set, blending comedy with personal storytelling.

Notable Quote:

• Andrew Santino ([03:02]): "You think Paul Hollywood just goes eat and then says it. He does this. No, sometimes he does this."

3. Exploring Filipino Wise Tales and Superstitions (03:32 – 17:22)

Delving into cultural anecdotes, Bobby and Andrew invite their guest, Howie Mandel, to discuss ancient Korean and Filipino wise tales. They explore various superstitions, such as the belief that sweeping at night can sweep away good fortune or attract bad luck ([14:20]). The trio shares and laughs over traditional practices like using menstrual blood for skincare and rituals to ward off bad spirits, blending cultural insights with comedic reactions.

Notable Quote:

• Jules ([11:07]): "Because you will have like a big, like, bump on your eye."

4. Guest Appearance: Howie Mandel’s Experiences and Humor (17:22 – 57:56)

Howie Mandel joins the conversation, bringing his unique humor and personal stories to the table. The hosts engage in a series of comedic exchanges, discussing everything from Skechers sponsorships to Howie’s experiences on America's Got Talent. They playfully mock each other's habits and anecdotes, ensuring a lively and entertaining segment.

Notable Quotes:

• Howie Mandel ([25:34]): "I'm an ambassador for Skechers."
• Bobby Lee ([37:02]): "I've been friends for a while. Yeah. You're a great time."

5. Humorous Banter and Improvised Skits (57:56 – 70:46)

The latter part of the episode features improvised skits and humorous banter between the hosts and Howie. They joke about various topics, including Howie’s 70th birthday, his interactions with other celebrities, and playful teasing about personal habits. The spontaneous humor maintains a high energy level, showcasing the hosts' comedic prowess.

Notable Quote:

• Andrew Santino ([70:13]): "Look at that photo. Sauvage, you never seen."

6. Closing Remarks and Final Jokes (70:46 – 73:44)

As the episode winds down, the hosts continue their lighthearted jokes with Howie Mandel, discussing topics like dance, fashion, and personal anecdotes. The playful interactions reach a peak with humorous storytelling and friendly ribbing, culminating in a vibrant and entertaining conclusion to the episode.

Notable Quote:

• Howie Mandel ([73:07]): "Thank you for being a bad friend."

---

Key Takeaways:

• Comedic Chemistry: The seamless interaction between Bobby Lee, Andrew Santino, and Howie Mandel highlights their strong comedic chemistry, making the episode engaging and entertaining.

• Cultural Insights with Humor: The exploration of Filipino and Korean wise tales is both informative and humorous, offering listeners a unique blend of cultural anecdotes and comedy.

• Guest Engagement: Howie Mandel's presence adds a dynamic layer to the episode, with his personal stories and quick wit complementing the hosts' humor.

Conclusion:

This episode of "Bad Friends" successfully blends cultural exploration with sharp comedic exchanges, enriched by the guest appearance of Howie Mandel. Listeners are treated to a vibrant mix of storytelling, jokes, and playful interactions that make the episode both entertaining and insightful.

---

Notable Sections to Revisit:

• Donut Debate: ([01:36 – 03:32])
• Filipino Superstitions: ([14:20 – 17:22])
• Howie Mandel's Skechers Story: ([57:56 – 58:58])

Final Thought: Whether you're a long-time listener or new to "Bad Friends," this episode offers a delightful blend of humor, cultural tales, and engaging conversations that encapsulate the essence of the show.

Transcript

[Bobby Lee]

You two are bad friends. Who are these two idiots? A white dude and an Asian dude. You two are disgusting. You two are something. We're bad friends. Ho hum. Down in the bayou we got legs that are tired Lights that flicker in the night oh, hum. My old black legs are skimming through the sand with my weepy eyes and my sour soul and I'm coming around. What's up? That was improvised.

[Andrew Santino]

Oh.

[Bobby Lee]

Oh, yeah. You know the ho hum as you.

[Andrew Santino]

Trek through the woods with your bo.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah, dude. Oh, where your porridge is cold but your anus is numb. Ho hum.

[Andrew Santino]

Where the donuts are old fairy and they're filled with.

[Bobby Lee]

Hum. My Mexican friend is dumb but he's got no Julio Iglesia. I don't know.

[Andrew Santino]

Damn, dude, I couldn't do it so close.

[Bobby Lee]

I'm so tired.

[Andrew Santino]

No, you got it.

[Bobby Lee]

But anyway, thanks for the donut. Have you had one of these?

[Andrew Santino]

I have.

[Bobby Lee]

No, you haven't, dude. Let me see. No, you haven't.

[Andrew Santino]

Why? I didn't eat it today.

[Bobby Lee]

Get a pistachio, dude. Man, yeah, I'm gonna prove a point here.

[Andrew Santino]

You know what? The fans love when we eat on the show.

[Bobby Lee]

Just take a bite.

[Andrew Santino]

I will take one little bite of a stache. Do you guys want some of this?

[Bobby Lee]

Oh my God, is it soft? Mm, yeah. Well, let the flavor sink in. Let the flavor sink in.

[Andrew Santino]

You know what my biggest problem is?

[Bobby Lee]

You think Paul Hollywood just goes eat and then says it. He does this. No, sometimes he does this.

[Andrew Santino]

Let me tell you something. I don't like that. It's got like cre. Cream in it.

[Bobby Lee]

I. Oh, oh, oh, yeah.

[Andrew Santino]

I don't like cream.

[Bobby Lee]

You got cream inside you and people eat that.

[Andrew Santino]

Man. You are tired, okay?

[Bobby Lee]

There's cream in everything, dude. In titty milk, dude. A lady last night, a 68 year old lady pulled out her titty in my show. That's your crowd. Yeah. And I go, I thought the joke I said was what comes out of their cottage cheese? And it got nothing. And then my second show lesson in Houston, I hear a thud, a thump, like a big thump. And I looked to my right and there's a 600 pound man, I'm not kidding. Laying on the floor, face first on.

[Andrew Santino]

The floor like this, going, oh.

[Bobby Lee]

This comedy sucks. I'm taking a nap.

[Andrew Santino]

So wait a minute, there's a big fat dude on the floor, right?

[Bobby Lee]

Oh, you were coming.

[Andrew Santino]

Well, thanks for showing up.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah. So this guy is laying on his right. He is. I think he's dead. So there's two choices Right.

[Andrew Santino]

Piss on him.

[Bobby Lee]

No, no, pretend it's not happening.

[Andrew Santino]

Right?

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah, just keep going.

[Andrew Santino]

Right.

[Bobby Lee]

Because it was off to my right. So I see staff, the managers.

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah.

[Bobby Lee]

Trying to revive them, and I'm going, yeah, that's what the Chicano said. You know, whatever. Right? And then I just looked at the right, and I go, what's going on? And they go, we don't know, man.

[Andrew Santino]

It's packed, sold out.

[Bobby Lee]

And it's. Now people are just rumbling.

[Andrew Santino]

Oh, there's rumblings?

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah. Now people are rumbling, right? And I'm going off to the side, looking to see. You gonna be okay, man. He's £600, right? It takes him like 20 minutes to get the. On in there, Right? Oh, right, right. And then they got a forklift in the.

[Andrew Santino]

And then you hear him breathing outside.

[Bobby Lee]

You know how hard is to restart the room?

[Andrew Santino]

Oh, yeah, bro. Dude, I had a. Guy had. Had, like, had a stroke in Nashville in the balcony at Zany's. No, I was like, am I gonna do this show now?

[Bobby Lee]

Wait, in the middle of your act?

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah.

[Bobby Lee]

And you stopped?

[Andrew Santino]

Well, there was like a big commotion. And then I was like, what's going on? And then they were like, it's medical emergency.

[Bobby Lee]

And I was like, I know.

[Andrew Santino]

My thought was dead. Somebody died.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah.

[Andrew Santino]

You know, because that happened. That's happened at almost every show I've done.

[Bobby Lee]

So then this morning, I get a direct message from some guy. Want to let you know. Guy? Dude, that guy died last night. No. Yeah.

[Andrew Santino]

Carlos.

[Bobby Lee]

Carlos. What the.

[Andrew Santino]

That's not funny.

[Bobby Lee]

Carlos, man.

[Andrew Santino]

Carlos, that's not funny. Dude, that's not funny.

[Bobby Lee]

Carlos.

[Andrew Santino]

Stop it. Dude, I can't believe.

[Howie Mandel]

I can't believe it.

[Andrew Santino]

Stop that.

[Bobby Lee]

Ho hum, dude.

[Andrew Santino]

Dude, ho hum died.

[Bobby Lee]

Ho hum died.

[Howie Mandel]

Dude, that's.

[Andrew Santino]

That's.

[Bobby Lee]

Dude, Carlos, you're sick. You're evil, Carlos. Right? So I get. So I get it. Then I start calling the management.

[Andrew Santino]

Don't.

[Bobby Lee]

What?

[Andrew Santino]

That's not funny.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah, yeah.

[Andrew Santino]

Stop it. You wanna.

[Bobby Lee]

I mean, you should. You should have seen my reaction. I read.

[Andrew Santino]

I was like, omg. What omg.

[Bobby Lee]

What's omg?

[Andrew Santino]

Oh, my God.

[Bobby Lee]

I was oh, my goding. And then I. And then it took me a while to get up. And then the manager goes, no, he went and got a pizza.

[Andrew Santino]

Okay.

[Bobby Lee]

No, there was a pizza place. I guess the medics came. He stood up and went straight to the pizza place. No, I'm not kidding.

[Andrew Santino]

Could smell the cheese.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah. So I'm like, oh. So he just went to the pizza. He go, yeah, yeah, the pizza with Plates that you went to earlier. Oh, it's good pizza, right? Thanks for. On my show.

[Howie Mandel]

I hate.

[Bobby Lee]

What. You know when. Like when I was in Phoenix, the sirens went off in the. You know what I mean?

[Andrew Santino]

I don't know what you mean. You mean a fire alarm?

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah, fire alarm.

[Andrew Santino]

I mean the sirens.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah.

[Andrew Santino]

Well, the stand up gay nightclub next door.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah. So. Yeah.

[Andrew Santino]

Get ready for the ho hum.

[Howie Mandel]

Oh, hum.

[Bobby Lee]

Oh.

[Andrew Santino]

Ddd. Dj. Ho hum.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah, that wasn't going on.

[Andrew Santino]

Look who's here.

[Bobby Lee]

Y. Look at how brown she is.

[Andrew Santino]

Damn, dude, get out of the sun.

[Bobby Lee]

You know she was just in Hawaii for two weeks. Yeah, it shows.

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah, yeah, it shows.

[Bobby Lee]

It shows.

[Andrew Santino]

That's not how you. That phrase doesn't go there. Okay. Yeah, it's supposed to be. It's supposed to be facetious that it shows. So if somebody goes, yeah, I went to five years of college. You go, yeah, it shows. That's what that is. She goes to Hawaii for. For how long?

[Bobby Lee]

Two weeks.

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah, you don't go. It shows. You go, oh, that's nice. So try it again. How long did you go to Hawaii for?

[Jules]

Two weeks.

[Bobby Lee]

That's nice, dude. Just do. It shows. I think it shows is good. Yeah. That's not good.

[Andrew Santino]

That's true.

[Bobby Lee]

That night.

[Andrew Santino]

So. Hey, Carlos, bring up that. This you. Because I saw a Filipino girl online. It reminded me of you. No, I'm serious.

[Bobby Lee]

Okay.

[Andrew Santino]

Not her. That's not it.

[Bobby Lee]

I have it.

[Andrew Santino]

But. But I want Bobby. Right. Just on this image. Real quick. How do you like your coffee? It says. Yeah, which one of those two tones are your coffee? Because your mind might change when you see the whole cup.

[Bobby Lee]

Oh, I love this game. Yeah, I love the tone coffee game.

[Andrew Santino]

So what kind of coffee do you like it with a lot of cream or not that much cream?

[Bobby Lee]

Me? I thought you were asking her.

[Andrew Santino]

Anybody can answer or.

[Bobby Lee]

Well, I just. I like a lot of cream.

[Andrew Santino]

You. You like the. The far right. A lot of cream. Yeah. Let's see what the full cup looks like.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah.

[Andrew Santino]

Jules, do you know her?

[Bobby Lee]

Thank God I didn't do cream. Oh, my God. Thank God I didn't do cream.

[Andrew Santino]

On the.

[Jules]

No, on the left.

[Bobby Lee]

The right.

[Andrew Santino]

No, on the left. The right.

[Bobby Lee]

Look at the teeth.

[Andrew Santino]

Zoom in a little bit.

[Bobby Lee]

Zoom in.

[Andrew Santino]

Pinch on that.

[Bobby Lee]

You pinching on it.

[Andrew Santino]

I gotta tell you something. The tattoos. The tattoos aren't distracting enough.

[Bobby Lee]

No.

[Andrew Santino]

I thought this was fake, Right? I thought it was like a fake.

[Bobby Lee]

No, I've seen her face before.

[Andrew Santino]

You know her?

[Bobby Lee]

No. In my tiktoks. I have my Algorithm shows her sometimes.

[Andrew Santino]

Really?

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah.

[Andrew Santino]

I love her.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah. Yeah, I love her.

[Jules]

The one on the left. Sexy, though.

[Bobby Lee]

Hot. Yeah. But then the one on the right.

[Andrew Santino]

The one on the left.

[Bobby Lee]

Can I ask you a question? In. In what? What? They don't have dentists. We should do it. No. Let me ask you something.

[Andrew Santino]

Dentist in the Philippines.

[Bobby Lee]

Don't you think that would we make.

[Andrew Santino]

A cat Google Philippines.

[Jules]

There's dentists in the Philippines.

[Andrew Santino]

I don't think.

[Bobby Lee]

What the is that? What is that? And if you had two teeth. Come on.

[Andrew Santino]

How much wood would a wood chuck chuck? Dentists in the Philippines? In Cebu. Let's see.

[Bobby Lee]

Wow.

[Andrew Santino]

There's three places on three in the.

[Bobby Lee]

Whole 70, 000 islands. Three places.

[Andrew Santino]

By the way, new dental clinic, because the old one didn't make it.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah.

[Andrew Santino]

What's the first one? Cebu Dental Care. Give me reviews of Cebu dental care. Reviews. 4.9. Pretty good.

[Bobby Lee]

That's good.

[Andrew Santino]

Let's read it though.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah.

[Andrew Santino]

I had an excellent experience at Cebu Dental.

[Bobby Lee]

No, no, no, no. Do the accent.

[Andrew Santino]

Oh, sorry.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah, yeah, through the accent.

[Andrew Santino]

I had excellent experience at Taboo Dental Care Center.

[Bobby Lee]

That's Indian, but I like it standing. Yeah.

[Andrew Santino]

Price is reasonable.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah.

[Andrew Santino]

By the way, this is written by. These are all Americans. This isn't real.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah.

[Andrew Santino]

I love it. The one stars, Two stars. I would not return there. We had only. We had only dental checks and cleaning and polishing. Painful and useless and expensive.

[Bobby Lee]

Dude, 300 years ago, when you had a toothache, what the fuck would you do?

[Andrew Santino]

Pull it out.

[Bobby Lee]

Really?

[Andrew Santino]

They used to pull them out even.

[Bobby Lee]

Like if it's coming on.

[Andrew Santino]

Oh, dude. That's when you know to pull it out.

[Bobby Lee]

Right. So if you got a little pain, you start pulling it out.

[Andrew Santino]

Yank it.

[Bobby Lee]

What's it.

[Andrew Santino]

Why would you keep it. It's only gonna get infected. They're not gonna do anything with it.

[Bobby Lee]

Wow.

[Andrew Santino]

You know, it is crazy to think about people from like over a hundred years ago who still. Who had good teeth.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah. Like back in the day they used to use like some whale extract from like a whale blubber to make cologne or perfume.

[Andrew Santino]

Oh, right, right.

[Bobby Lee]

You know what I mean? Just different ways of makeup was. What back in the day?

[Andrew Santino]

Flower. Flowers.

[Bobby Lee]

Berries. Berries. Yeah, berries. No blood. No. In Transylvania there's blood. I'm kidding.

[Andrew Santino]

I don't know how is my rule.

[Bobby Lee]

See, that's why I set it up.

[Andrew Santino]

That's good.

[Howie Mandel]

Yeah.

[Bobby Lee]

I'm a beat slow today.

[Andrew Santino]

What did you. What? What did. What did. Why did you say berries? Did you. Did you ever use berries as A kid for makeup?

[Jules]

No, but on your lips.

[Andrew Santino]

No.

[Jules]

But there's a tradition where, like, if you get your first period, you have to put your period blood all over your face.

[Andrew Santino]

I'm really glad you're back.

[Jules]

I don't know if it's just in the Philippines, but that's what.

[Bobby Lee]

Just. Just in the Philippines.

[Andrew Santino]

I've never heard that. Why? Women are using their period blood for face masks.

[Bobby Lee]

Oh, that does work then.

[Andrew Santino]

No, she's saying when you get your first.

[Jules]

First period. I don't know. I don't do it every period.

[Bobby Lee]

Well, there's a.

[Andrew Santino]

Here you go. Despite this culture, the use of menstrual blood is something that has been done traditionally, superstitiously, for years in the Philippines. It said if you wash your face with period blood, you'll be blessed with acne free skin during puberty. Did that work?

[Bobby Lee]

No.

[Andrew Santino]

No.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah, yeah.

[Jules]

And then, like, you have to jump like 10 times to, like.

[Bobby Lee]

Why?

[Jules]

That's a transition.

[Bobby Lee]

Jump like 10 times. What?

[Jules]

Just jump 10 times to.

[Andrew Santino]

I think shake it.

[Bobby Lee]

No, just.

[Andrew Santino]

Is the cork up there? You need to cork a while.

[Jules]

My grandma did that.

[Bobby Lee]

But you jump up and down for what reason?

[Jules]

I think to have a longer life. I think that's it. Yeah.

[Andrew Santino]

Dude, tell me the song you guys sing when you do that.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah, yeah. There's no song. Yeah, yeah.

[Andrew Santino]

Wait, so this is. So she painted her face and you do it on your first one, and then that's supposed to bless you for life.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah. Koreans believe. And this used to work when you had a Charlie horse, right?

[Jules]

What's a Charlie horse?

[Andrew Santino]

Come here. I'll it. I'll give you one. Yeah, it's when you. It's when you have a. It's like a muscle cramp or.

[Bobby Lee]

Or there's like a buzzing. How do they say Charlie horse? What do you call it? Charlie horse.

[Andrew Santino]

You're right. Charlie horse.

[Bobby Lee]

Why would you laugh at that? Then I just imagine Korean saying it.

[Andrew Santino]

Well, how do you say it in Korean? Well, zoom in. How do you say it in Korean?

[Bobby Lee]

So if you had a charley horse. Right? Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's easy. It's easier to say Charlie horse.

[Andrew Santino]

Charlie. All right.

[Bobby Lee]

But you do this. My grandma would go, I don't know how to speak Korean in it, but she goes, lick your finger, tap your nose three times.

[Andrew Santino]

That would get rid of a Charlie horse.

[Bobby Lee]

It really did.

[Andrew Santino]

No way.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah. When you have a Charlie horse. Anyone listening? Right? Do that. It gets rid of it completely.

[Andrew Santino]

Wow.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Andrew Santino]

I'm excited for my next Charlie horse.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah.

[Andrew Santino]

I never heard. We didn't have any.

[Bobby Lee]

You must have wise tales. Wives tales. Wives tales. Wives tales. Right.

[Andrew Santino]

Wise wives tales.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah.

[Andrew Santino]

What you mean we have anything like that? Yeah. It's like trying to think of some white ones. What are the white ones? Well, it's like, you know, if.

[Bobby Lee]

You know, my dad said, you know, if you watch TV too close, you go, grandpa gonna die. Stuff like that, you know, I mean, grandpa died already.

[Andrew Santino]

Well, yeah. You know, they say if you masturb way too much, you get hairy hands.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah. That's one. That's a wife. That's a wife's tail. Yeah. The Philippines have wife's tales like that.

[Andrew Santino]

Like something like a superstitious thing that it's not true. Like, if you wipe blood on your face after your first period.

[Jules]

Yeah.

[Andrew Santino]

You won't get acne.

[Jules]

Or like, if you watch, if you've seen, like, a naked body or like, porn, then you will have like a. Like a big, like, bump on your eye.

[Andrew Santino]

Oh, a sty.

[Jules]

A sty.

[Andrew Santino]

Yes. You get a sty in your eye from.

[Jules]

Yeah, yeah.

[Bobby Lee]

You get a cataract. You get a cat. Wow. Never heard that before.

[Andrew Santino]

Okay, look at this one. Some of the Filipino culture go up. Some of the Filipino. The superstitions. Avoiding sweeping at night. Don't sweep.

[Howie Mandel]

Right.

[Andrew Santino]

What is that? Don't sweep.

[Bobby Lee]

What does sweeping at night do?

[Jules]

I think.

[Bobby Lee]

Let her guess. That's a fun sweeping at night. What is that?

[Jules]

Sweeping at night?

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah.

[Jules]

I think it's just to something with ghosts or like.

[Bobby Lee]

Okay, that. Did she have it right?

[Andrew Santino]

It's a sweeping and night sweeps away good fortune and attracts bad luck.

[Bobby Lee]

Okay, good.

[Andrew Santino]

Don't look at the screen.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah.

[Andrew Santino]

What about cutting your nails at night? Why can't you do that? Trim your nails.

[Jules]

It will not grow back.

[Andrew Santino]

No, but that makes more sense.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah.

[Andrew Santino]

Evil spirits don't ever sleep with wet hair in the Philippines. Oh.

[Jules]

Because you will have white hair.

[Bobby Lee]

Wow. Wow, that was fast. What does it say?

[Andrew Santino]

It says, it go blind.

[Bobby Lee]

That's not true.

[Andrew Santino]

That's not why. Hold on.

[Bobby Lee]

We love it. This is amazing. Okay, now, different islands have different things. I don't know.

[Andrew Santino]

All right. This is not going home right after a wake. Like, after you. After you go to. Oh.

[Jules]

Because the spirit will follow you.

[Bobby Lee]

That's bingo.

[Andrew Santino]

Itchy palms, itchy palms, itchy palms.

[Bobby Lee]

You can do pag pag to get rid of it.

[Andrew Santino]

Oh, if you do a pack.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah.

[Andrew Santino]

Cleansing ritual.

[Howie Mandel]

Yeah.

[Andrew Santino]

Didn't we do a pug pog on this show?

[Bobby Lee]

Okay.

[Andrew Santino]

We love Filipinos by The way, for the record, they're our favorite people. How about not taking a home, Nick? Not taking food home from away. So after a funeral, you don't take food home, right?

[Jules]

I take food home.

[Bobby Lee]

Okay, well, yeah. Okay. Itchy palms.

[Andrew Santino]

What about itchy palms?

[Jules]

Itchy palms.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Andrew Santino]

When your hands are itchy inside your hand, you'll die. Sure. This just says it's a sign of good luck.

[Bobby Lee]

Two more. Biting your tongue.

[Jules]

Biting. If you said like a. Oh, if someone's talking shit about you.

[Andrew Santino]

Damn.

[Bobby Lee]

Is that true?

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah.

[Bobby Lee]

Fuck yeah, dude.

[Andrew Santino]

What about tabby, Tapi pod?

[Jules]

Oh, that's. I told you about this. Like, when you're, like, going through, like a quiet area or like a big tree, you have to say or else, like the. The mythical creatures.

[Bobby Lee]

Wait, wait, you've never said this before. What are you talking about? Like, I said that before during, like a Halloween. I've never heard you say tabby, tabby before. Give me an example. Give me example. Give me example. I told you this before. It's Halloween. We're trick or treating, you know, I mean, I'm dressed up as, like a fat minion.

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah.

[Bobby Lee]

And you're at, what, soap? Okay, we're in the forest. We're lost.

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah.

[Bobby Lee]

Where does this.

[Howie Mandel]

Tabby. Tabby.

[Bobby Lee]

Po.

[Jules]

Okay, so like when. When you're. When there's like a big tree, but.

[Bobby Lee]

We'Re walking by a big tree.

[Jules]

Okay, big tree.

[Bobby Lee]

Redwood. Redwood. Yeah.

[Jules]

You're going through it. You have to say tabi. Tabi po.

[Bobby Lee]

Tabi, Tabi po. But if we don't, what happens?

[Jules]

Then, like, something bad will happen.

[Bobby Lee]

They made a movie, guys. Tappy, Tabby, po.

[Andrew Santino]

They're going to go back to the list.

[Bobby Lee]

Go back to the list. There's one more.

[Andrew Santino]

Wait a minute. So you're going, by the way.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah.

[Andrew Santino]

Also soap. You're soap.

[Bobby Lee]

Mythical things.

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah. You think you're soap. Soap. Okay.

[Bobby Lee]

Jumping at midnight.

[Andrew Santino]

Well, yeah. What about jumping in the middle at midnight?

[Jules]

It's just for good luck.

[Andrew Santino]

Grow taller in the new year. Can you wear red in the Philippines? Do people wear red?

[Jules]

Yeah.

[Bobby Lee]

All right.

[Andrew Santino]

It says it's going to increase your chance of being struck by lightning.

[Bobby Lee]

Wow.

[Andrew Santino]

Don't look. What is sukab? S, U, K, O, B.

[Jules]

No, that's not.

[Bobby Lee]

Maybe little tree. There's a little tree you walk by. Yeah.

[Andrew Santino]

Oh, yeah. What about. You know that twin bananas.

[Jules]

Twin bananas? Yeah.

[Andrew Santino]

If a woman consumes a twin banana, she'll have twins.

[Jules]

I don't know.

[Bobby Lee]

That's interesting.

[Andrew Santino]

What about scattering coins in a New house. And you move into a house, you scatter change everywhere.

[Jules]

No, but we bring rice and salt.

[Bobby Lee]

Okay, okay.

[Andrew Santino]

So whenever someone's.

[Bobby Lee]

You bring.

[Andrew Santino]

These stereotypes aren't real. You're like. Well, they. They are. Yeah, it's very funny.

[Bobby Lee]

You bring salt and rice to what?

[Andrew Santino]

Salt the floor and rice the floor, right?

[Jules]

No, you just put the rice, like, somewhere and then put salt around it. It's like, for good fortune and like, the spirits. Bad spirits won't come.

[Bobby Lee]

Could I put carpaccio on there, too and just eat it afterwards?

[Andrew Santino]

No, you can't eat it. The Italians are like, when we buy a new house, we put down mortadella on the floor. We do a little chant called hungy hungy hippos.

[Bobby Lee]

Wow, it's so strange.

[Andrew Santino]

Avoid mirrors opposite the front door. You can't have a mirror directly across from the front door. That's bad luck. Covering mirrors is bad luck. In Filipino culture, it says placing a chick on a coffin like a baby chicken on a coffin.

[Bobby Lee]

That's that.

[Andrew Santino]

Let's cut it out. You know what? Fancy Spain has a lot of weird supers. I'm sure you guys have just as many weirdo ones. You know, Spain's got some stupid ones.

[Bobby Lee]

What is.

[Andrew Santino]

Oh, the grapes at midnight. Remember we did that one time. It's the dumbest shit on earth.

[Bobby Lee]

That's not superstitious.

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah, it is. Supposed to wish you good. You're supposed to have. Then you have good luck.

[Bobby Lee]

That's a fun.

[Andrew Santino]

No hats on the bed. In Spain, considered bad luck to put a hat on your bed.

[Bobby Lee]

Well, that was in the movie Drugstore Cowboy.

[Andrew Santino]

Drugstore June.

[Bobby Lee]

No, drugstore. You remember? See drugs. Drugstore Cowboy.

[Andrew Santino]

No, I've seen Rides.

[Bobby Lee]

Van Sant directed it with Matt Dillon, and there was a scene. They steal drugs from pharmacies and just like.

[Andrew Santino]

Drugstore June.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah. And Matt Dillon, one of the. I think Heather Graham sticks a hat on the bed, and then Matt Dillon goes all apeshit. Because now they're going to have, like, six weeks of bad luck. Whoa. Yeah. And it. It. I went to Buck Wild last night.

[Andrew Santino]

You went to the strip club Buck Wild?

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah.

[Andrew Santino]

Why'd you do that, bud?

[Bobby Lee]

Because the. The club that I played, they knew the. They knew the manager, and they did. And a Samoan guy showed up, and he drove me an hour, like, 45 minutes outside of the city. And I went to Buckwild and I drove 45 minutes back really quickly after that.

[Andrew Santino]

How long were you there?

[Bobby Lee]

Five hours. Shopify. Oh, boy. What would we do without Shopify?

[Andrew Santino]

Andrew I don't even know. We wouldn't have an online business, I can tell you that.

[Bobby Lee]

Drowning. I'll tell you.

[Andrew Santino]

Nobody does selling better than Shopify.

[Bobby Lee]

Nobody.

[Andrew Santino]

There isn't anybody out there that doesn't. They're home of the number one checkout on the planet. If you're selling something right, like Skims Aloe Allbirds. You know all these companies, they have great products, sure, but how do they get to you? If you shop online, Shopify is the one that makes that go smoothly.

[Bobby Lee]

And the not so secret secret with Shop Pay that boosts conversions up to 50%.

[Andrew Santino]

That's way less carts are going abandoned and way more sales going.

[Bobby Lee]

So if you're into growing your business.

[Andrew Santino]

Your commerce platform better be ready to sell wherever. Whenever your customers are scrolling and strolling on the web, in your store, in their feed, and everywhere in between. Businesses that sell more sell on Shopify. Upgrade your business to get the same checkout that Allbirds Rothy skims. All of these companies uses.

[Bobby Lee]

Sign up for your $1 per month trial period at shopify.com bad friends all.

[Andrew Santino]

Lowercase go to shopify.com bad friends to upgrade your selling today. Shopify.com bad friends shipstation too.

[Bobby Lee]

We love to ship stuff to you and we use Ship station because we want the best. That's exactly for our fans.

[Andrew Santino]

Shipstation grows with your business no matter how big it ends up getting. By the way, I had a story that I was told about a small business, a guy that was shipping stuff from his garage. He was doing like old records. Throwback records.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah.

[Andrew Santino]

He's doing them from the comfort of his own garage. And his business grew so much he needed bigger help. And guess what? Shipstation was there the entire time from the very beginning till right now. Pretty impressive. Pretty cool.

[Bobby Lee]

Save hours and money every month by shipping from all your stores with one login. Automating repetitive tasks and finding the best rates among all the global carriers.

[Andrew Santino]

The best part is you don't have to upgrade, right? It's the fastest, most affordable way to ship products to your customers. With discounts up to 88% off UPS, DHL Express and USPS rates and up to 90% off FedEx rates. That's incredible. Over 130,000 companies have grown their e commerce business with Shipstation. And 98% of companies that stick with Shipstation for a year become customers for life. Calm the chaos of order fulfillment with the shipping software that delivers. Switch to ShipStation today.

[Bobby Lee]

Go to ShipStation.com and use code Bad Friends to sign up for Your free trial. That's shipstation.com code. Bad friends.

[Andrew Santino]

What have you been doing? You went to Hawaii?

[Jules]

Yeah, and I've been surfing. That's why I'm like really town you.

[Andrew Santino]

Really? Yeah. You are? Really.

[Bobby Lee]

Are you getting good?

[Jules]

I don't know.

[Andrew Santino]

This is what Trump was talking about. They come here, they surf all day, they don't do anything anymore.

[Bobby Lee]

Are you scared? Right. You must be scared.

[Jules]

I don't know.

[Andrew Santino]

ICE is coming.

[Jules]

But then they're also saying like even with visas, people are getting deported.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah.

[Andrew Santino]

What island did you go to in Hawaii?

[Jules]

Oahu.

[Andrew Santino]

Oh, wahoo. You guys like that?

[Bobby Lee]

Well, they only have, they own a place out there.

[Andrew Santino]

I know. Yeah, I know.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah, yeah, it's fun.

[Andrew Santino]

You surfed all day and then you ate. Ate poke.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah.

[Andrew Santino]

All day. That's all you do, right?

[Bobby Lee]

I'm gonna go in a couple months. I'm gonna Hawaii theater. I'm gonna do a show there.

[Andrew Santino]

You're doing a stand up show?

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah.

[Andrew Santino]

Wow.

[Bobby Lee]

Come out, it'd be fun.

[Andrew Santino]

No, thank you.

[Bobby Lee]

Why? I, I, you know, it's so funny. I drive to your shows and do guest spots.

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah, because they're great.

[Bobby Lee]

I know, but I don't think you would ever go to a different city for me.

[Andrew Santino]

Of course I would. That's silly.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah, why not? Hawaii. Neil Brennan's gonna go.

[Andrew Santino]

Well, there you go. You got a white?

[Bobby Lee]

No, no, I want several whites.

[Andrew Santino]

He's the number one white. Neil Brennan.

[Bobby Lee]

What is that? Oh, that's it.

[Andrew Santino]

Friday, June 6th.

[Bobby Lee]

Yep, June 6th. Come. Oh, who's here?

[Andrew Santino]

What's that?

[Bobby Lee]

You know who he is? Crazy.

[Andrew Santino]

Oh, there it is.

[Bobby Lee]

Crazy.

[Andrew Santino]

There it is. There's crazy boy.

[Bobby Lee]

He's crazy.

[Andrew Santino]

Here comes nutso.

[Bobby Lee]

He's nuts.

[Jules]

Who is it?

[Bobby Lee]

You'll know.

[Andrew Santino]

You'll know when you see. You know. You can tell. You can't tell from the whistle. That's, yeah.

[Bobby Lee]

Corporate comedy is coming. Corporate comedy is coming to town. Coming to town. Agt. You ever see America's Got Talent?

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah. You ever seen America's Got Talent? Yeah. Do you like that show?

[Bobby Lee]

You like that show?

[Jules]

It's okay.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah, I know. Me too. See that, you freak? Get in here.

[Andrew Santino]

That's his bait whistle. Whoa, whoa.

[Bobby Lee]

You're safe. Oh.

[Andrew Santino]

Guys. Howie Mandela.

[Bobby Lee]

Howie Mandel's here. Everybody. Ladies and gentlemen, Howie Mandel. Yay.

[Andrew Santino]

We love Howie.

[Bobby Lee]

Howie, you've met Julie him before, right?

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah, yeah, she's the best.

[Bobby Lee]

Are those Rick Owens? What are you wearing there?

[Howie Mandel]

What are you talking about?

[Bobby Lee]

Your shoes.

[Howie Mandel]

Skechers. I, I, these are Snoop Dogg's Skechers.

[Bobby Lee]

Oh, really Nice.

[Howie Mandel]

I have a Skechers. I'm an ambassador for Skechers. Why are you laughing at that?

[Bobby Lee]

Which is a weird thing to say.

[Andrew Santino]

You know what's great about Snoop Dogg? Yeah, I think.

[Bobby Lee]

Tell us.

[Andrew Santino]

He's. I think the best part about Snoop is he's really reserved himself. He doesn't do too right. He.

[Howie Mandel]

Well, it says no Kevin Hart magic.

[Bobby Lee]

He's like. Kevin Hart says no a lot.

[Howie Mandel]

He really does like Snoop.

[Andrew Santino]

Like, can you name any products that Snoop's attached to or that Anything he's doing.

[Bobby Lee]

Let me think. Not. Or not.

[Andrew Santino]

Skechers.

[Bobby Lee]

Skechers.

[Howie Mandel]

These are actually. These are. These are called sketchers and they're slip inside because you don't even need. The laces are nothing. You slip in, you slip out.

[Andrew Santino]

We're doing ads for Skechers now.

[Howie Mandel]

I'm doing it.

[Andrew Santino]

Howie. Howie Mandel is here, ladies and gentlemen. And how. He's brought his family.

[Bobby Lee]

That's your son, Your whole family.

[Andrew Santino]

And I've met you before. No, I don't think so. Who else is there? Is it your daughter?

[Howie Mandel]

No, I didn't. My daughter. Who did you bring? Alex. Your wife, Alex, who did you bring?

[Bobby Lee]

Your girlfriend? She's friend. Are you seeing her? No.

[Andrew Santino]

You guys are just friends?

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah.

[Andrew Santino]

How old are you?

[Howie Mandel]

35.

[Andrew Santino]

Oh, dude, he's 35.

[Bobby Lee]

Alex, are you married?

[Howie Mandel]

No.

[Andrew Santino]

Is she married?

[Howie Mandel]

I live vicariously through my son on Instagram.

[Bobby Lee]

Oh, you do?

[Howie Mandel]

Yeah. He's got a model rescue service. I've talked about this before.

[Bobby Lee]

I mean, what do you have to do?

[Howie Mandel]

Really nice. What he. What he does is he takes in like wounded models and nurses them back to health.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah.

[Howie Mandel]

And once he feels that they're able to talk about commitment, he kind of just.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah, yeah.

[Howie Mandel]

Sends them back.

[Andrew Santino]

Seriously.

[Bobby Lee]

Andrew. Andrew Howie Mendel masturbate must be such an ordeal. He's just. Okay, I got it. And I got.

[Howie Mandel]

And then. Okay.

[Bobby Lee]

Okay, okay.

[Howie Mandel]

Put the wall up.

[Bobby Lee]

I mean, what the. Dude.

[Howie Mandel]

Yeah. I use a glory hole on myself.

[Bobby Lee]

Wow.

[Howie Mandel]

I have to reach around the wall.

[Bobby Lee]

Wow.

[Howie Mandel]

I want to get any.

[Bobby Lee]

Do you still. Old man, do you still masturbate?

[Howie Mandel]

This is like a bad episode of.

[Andrew Santino]

Of Bad Friends.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah, yeah.

[Howie Mandel]

Old man. Do you still.

[Bobby Lee]

Do you still or.

[Howie Mandel]

No, I. I'm doing. That's why I got my legs crossed. Right.

[Bobby Lee]

Oh, I see. I see. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Howie Mandel]

I do.

[Bobby Lee]

Wow.

[Howie Mandel]

Son. I still masturbate. Are you glad you showed up with me?

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah.

[Howie Mandel]

Can you give him a play by play?

[Bobby Lee]

Pardon me?

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah. She wants to know more.

[Bobby Lee]

I mean, do you watch things, Howie, or do you?

[Howie Mandel]

Yeah, I watch videos of people washing their hands.

[Bobby Lee]

Very good. Very good.

[Howie Mandel]

They bother you that I brought a whistle?

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah.

[Andrew Santino]

No, I like the way.

[Bobby Lee]

I like the.

[Howie Mandel]

I love the whistle. Yeah, is my new thing. I'm gonna make that my thing. You're the guy. Because there's so many. There's so many people out there.

[Andrew Santino]

Look at her face. How concerned.

[Howie Mandel]

Julie, why are you. What are you concerned about?

[Andrew Santino]

Well, because women usually have practical uses for whist.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah, Yeah.

[Jules]

I just don't understand.

[Andrew Santino]

It's hard for a man.

[Howie Mandel]

It's a whistle.

[Jules]

Well, what do you do? What's the point?

[Bobby Lee]

You blow. Yeah, yeah.

[Howie Mandel]

Now do you understand?

[Bobby Lee]

No, no.

[Howie Mandel]

What do you mean? Why do you look like you're in pain?

[Jules]

I don't know.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah, yeah.

[Howie Mandel]

You're really enjoying me.

[Bobby Lee]

That's her. No, that. She's always like that. That's her disposition. I live with her.

[Howie Mandel]

I know you live with her. I met her at your house.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah, yeah.

[Howie Mandel]

But thing is that you have a very pained look on your face, like there's a problem.

[Jules]

That's my normal face.

[Howie Mandel]

Well, it isn't normal. I'm telling you, it's not normal.

[Bobby Lee]

Julia, is there like a Filipinos Got Talent?

[Howie Mandel]

No, but we have a lot of Filipinos on the show who have talent.

[Bobby Lee]

I know they do.

[Howie Mandel]

The. The guy that can sing with two voices, that's.

[Bobby Lee]

That guy's the best. Wait, what's his first name?

[Jules]

Marcelo.

[Howie Mandel]

Marcelo?

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah, he is. Oh yeah.

[Andrew Santino]

I love Hernandez from snl.

[Bobby Lee]

No, he does. Oh no, dude, he is the most talented singer you've ever heard in your life. He does deep voices and then he has a like angelic voice on top of it.

[Howie Mandel]

Two voices. Like he does a duet with himself.

[Bobby Lee]

He will you up. This guy? Yeah. The greatest singer kills Freddie Mercury Kills anybody.

[Andrew Santino]

Wow.

[Bobby Lee]

What do you mean wow? I'm telling you right now, the Philippines rule.

[Andrew Santino]

That's a bold claim.

[Bobby Lee]

They'll play some. All right, there we go. Just do the first one.

[Howie Mandel]

You see how Zanzer on the table? This is how he jerks off to himself.

[Bobby Lee]

Oh, wow.

[Howie Mandel]

He sings to himself like a pretty girl. The same guy? That's the same guy. These are your people. Why are you laughing?

[Jules]

It's good.

[Bobby Lee]

That's the. What? Oh, you. You're not impressed? I think Andrew can do it.

[Howie Mandel]

You could do it. Try it.

[Bobby Lee]

And from where you're from, they have leprechauns jumping up and down with a rainbow. And you Think that. That's not good.

[Andrew Santino]

It's not good.

[Howie Mandel]

Are you kidding me?

[Bobby Lee]

Can you do better?

[Howie Mandel]

Yeah.

[Andrew Santino]

Oh, do it then.

[Bobby Lee]

I want to sing.

[Howie Mandel]

There's no way.

[Bobby Lee]

Give me the lyrics, dude. Here we go. We're all going to sing it.

[Andrew Santino]

Give me the lyrics.

[Howie Mandel]

Are you doing the female part?

[Andrew Santino]

Give me the lyrics, dude.

[Bobby Lee]

I got it. Yes, I'm tone. Okay, we go.

[Andrew Santino]

There it is.

[Bobby Lee]

Here we go. Zoom in real good. All right. What the time, right?

[Howie Mandel]

Yeah.

[Bobby Lee]

True as it can be Barely even friends Then somebody bends unexpected Go ahead.

[Andrew Santino]

Just a little.

[Howie Mandel]

You can't.

[Bobby Lee]

No, no. Gotta do the girl small.

[Andrew Santino]

That is the girl.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah. What are you doing? You're not even in. Oh, you're not even tuned, dude.

[Andrew Santino]

You're perceptible.

[Howie Mandel]

You're playing the Russian boxer.

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah.

[Howie Mandel]

I didn't realize women can't sound that way.

[Bobby Lee]

Oh, I know you're. Oh, dude. Yeah, you're right.

[Andrew Santino]

Later, man.

[Bobby Lee]

You're right.

[Andrew Santino]

Way to go, guys.

[Howie Mandel]

See what you did?

[Andrew Santino]

Way to put yourself in the corner.

[Bobby Lee]

The worst singer here is you.

[Howie Mandel]

Can you sing?

[Bobby Lee]

Sing one of them. Sing one line.

[Jules]

Yeah.

[Bobby Lee]

Here we go.

[Howie Mandel]

Here we go.

[Jules]

Just a little change.

[Andrew Santino]

Not bad.

[Howie Mandel]

Horrible.

[Andrew Santino]

It's not bad.

[Bobby Lee]

It's not bad.

[Howie Mandel]

I'm a professional talent judge. That sucks.

[Jules]

But can you sing?

[Andrew Santino]

Thank you.

[Bobby Lee]

What gives you the right h. Whenever I'm watching that show, what gives you the right to go, oh, that's good singing.

[Howie Mandel]

I don't.

[Bobby Lee]

You're a comedian.

[Howie Mandel]

I say I like it. Maybe it's not everybody's taste. I like it. I just heard her. I don't like it. I don't like it.

[Bobby Lee]

I see how that.

[Howie Mandel]

I'm telling you, I don't like it. The other judges, two people in the room. You guys like it?

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah, You're.

[Howie Mandel]

And I'm being honest with you and that. This is not television and it's not network. You sing like, oh, my God.

[Bobby Lee]

Don't cry, Jules. Don't cry.

[Jules]

No, I know.

[Howie Mandel]

You sing like. Being honest with you, and I don't want you because I care about you. I don't want you to think you're good and then go out into the world and be disappointed. And I feel like I'm doing a service.

[Andrew Santino]

How many years you been on that show?

[Howie Mandel]

16.

[Andrew Santino]

It's time to get off.

[Bobby Lee]

I wanted to say that, but thank you for that.

[Andrew Santino]

It's time to wrap it up.

[Bobby Lee]

It's a long.

[Andrew Santino]

Alex, what do you think?

[Howie Mandel]

How do you feel?

[Andrew Santino]

Does he need to wrap it up? Do you want dad to get off? The show and get back home to taking care of you.

[Howie Mandel]

Taking care of him?

[Andrew Santino]

Well, he's 35. He's obviously stunted. He brought in a beautiful woman that he's buddies with.

[Howie Mandel]

Yeah. But he's moving out in the next couple of weeks. We are so excited.

[Andrew Santino]

You still live at home?

[Bobby Lee]

No.

[Andrew Santino]

Where do you live? Here. You live in la?

[Bobby Lee]

Santa Monica.

[Andrew Santino]

Santa Monica. Beautiful. I want to live on the west side.

[Bobby Lee]

I know me where I live.

[Andrew Santino]

I know where you live.

[Howie Mandel]

Santa Monica. But you.

[Bobby Lee]

You're a great father. You've been a great father.

[Howie Mandel]

I have been a great father.

[Bobby Lee]

And I know a little bit about you. Been friends for a while. Yeah. You're a great time.

[Howie Mandel]

I'm a wonderful.

[Andrew Santino]

You're a great guy. No.

[Howie Mandel]

Can we just keep this going?

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah.

[Howie Mandel]

A wonderful.

[Bobby Lee]

You really are.

[Howie Mandel]

And how lucky are you guys and you to have me on this episode?

[Bobby Lee]

Huge. This is huge.

[Andrew Santino]

Huge.

[Howie Mandel]

No, what are you doing?

[Andrew Santino]

I mean, the numbers will go down, but huge. Not about.

[Bobby Lee]

Really huge.

[Andrew Santino]

Not about the numbers. It's about the soul.

[Bobby Lee]

Well, it's like, you know, Guy, check this out. You know, there's some art house movies that no one watches, but this is. You know what I mean?

[Howie Mandel]

This is an art house episode.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah, yeah. You know, like the new movie companion. No one saw it, but people love it.

[Andrew Santino]

People love it.

[Bobby Lee]

Like the critics. So that's good.

[Howie Mandel]

So, you know, that's.

[Bobby Lee]

We don't lose Money on the YouTube.

[Howie Mandel]

It's not about making money. It's about doing quality stuff. And this is quality. This feels like quality. Just if you've done a bunch of these episodes of this one, how do you feel about this one versus some of the other episodes that you've been a part?

[Bobby Lee]

Completely honest.

[Jules]

Well, when they said that someone from AGT was coming, I thought it was Simon Cowell.

[Howie Mandel]

What are you saying?

[Jules]

I just thought that.

[Howie Mandel]

And then what you're trying to say is you were ready for Simon Cowell, and then when I showed up, you went, this is like a surprise. They went. They lowballed me.

[Bobby Lee]

Well, it goes. Simon, Heidi.

[Andrew Santino]

Who's on.

[Howie Mandel]

Heidi's not on it anymore.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah, but still. Heidi still before you.

[Howie Mandel]

Mel B. Mel B. And then Sofia Vergara.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah. And then. Are you four? I mean, what do you. Where. Where are you in the ring of.

[Andrew Santino]

People that have come and gone and you're still there?

[Howie Mandel]

I replace.

[Andrew Santino]

You're the Kenan Thompson.

[Howie Mandel]

Let me.

[Bobby Lee]

Let me guess. I know Howard Stern.

[Howie Mandel]

No.

[Bobby Lee]

Okay.

[Howie Mandel]

I was there with Howard Stern. I replaced David Hasselhoff.

[Andrew Santino]

The Hoff after the cheeseburger incident. Huh?

[Howie Mandel]

That's why. That's why. That's the. The nickname for our show is Jew Watch.

[Andrew Santino]

Regis Sam Donnelly. Now, I don't know who that is.

[Howie Mandel]

Yeah, those aren't judges. That's our executive producer.

[Andrew Santino]

Oh.

[Howie Mandel]

Regis was the. Was the first host.

[Andrew Santino]

He was.

[Howie Mandel]

He was the first host. Then he was followed by Jerry Springer became the host.

[Andrew Santino]

Who's Jason Raph?

[Howie Mandel]

He was executive producer. And then Nick Cannon became the host.

[Bobby Lee]

And then I think the big black guy that's.

[Howie Mandel]

He's my.

[Andrew Santino]

Harry Cruz.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah, I like him. He's my favorite.

[Howie Mandel]

He likes to be called what you just called him.

[Bobby Lee]

Is he not a big black guy?

[Howie Mandel]

He is.

[Bobby Lee]

Okay, good.

[Howie Mandel]

But he likes his name.

[Bobby Lee]

And if somebody. If I was on that little fat.

[Howie Mandel]

You don't know him from white chicks.

[Bobby Lee]

No, I've never met him.

[Howie Mandel]

He was in White chick.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Andrew Santino]

So who's on still now? You, me, Simon.

[Howie Mandel]

Simon Cardi. B. That's Mel B. Mellon.

[Andrew Santino]

Cardiac Cardi would be a good get. So you, Simon Melby and Sofia Vergara.

[Howie Mandel]

And.

[Andrew Santino]

And.

[Howie Mandel]

No, that's it.

[Andrew Santino]

Oh, that's it.

[Howie Mandel]

Terry Crews is the host.

[Andrew Santino]

Terry's always been right.

[Howie Mandel]

Oh, he hasn't. Before him was. And then it was Tyra Banks.

[Bobby Lee]

Yes. Howie, can you look at Simon? Just be real and just look at him. Lock eyes with him and go. Enough of.

[Andrew Santino]

What is that? What does that mean?

[Bobby Lee]

Enough of that. You know, it's.

[Howie Mandel]

That looks. It's amazing what you're able to do. You're like a Korean gym, Simon. Wow. If. If people just tuned in now and didn't know they were watching this. If they're watching on YouTube, they would. That's uncanny how. Because I sit with them daily.

[Bobby Lee]

There we go. Look at. Look at it.

[Howie Mandel]

But do that and then look at that. Put it side by side. I know. I got it sitting.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah, yeah. We know how older you are, dude.

[Howie Mandel]

I'm old.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah, but you look good. And. No. And you've had none. No face work.

[Howie Mandel]

I have no face work.

[Bobby Lee]

Exactly.

[Howie Mandel]

I've. I had.

[Bobby Lee]

Because we like natural beings.

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah, right.

[Bobby Lee]

Look at. I had, believe it or not, no face work.

[Howie Mandel]

I had testicular liposuction. You know I had testicular liposuction.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah, you got.

[Andrew Santino]

You really got him sucked.

[Howie Mandel]

I try. I try. I want to.

[Andrew Santino]

I met.

[Howie Mandel]

I'm old. I'm going to be 70 this year.

[Andrew Santino]

That's incredible.

[Bobby Lee]

That's incredible.

[Andrew Santino]

What's up for the 70th birthday? Can I ask you? Also those pants Are those USPS pants? I swear to God, the woman that delivers my mail, we're the exact same pants.

[Howie Mandel]

I'm not even wearing ladies male pants.

[Andrew Santino]

Ladies male pants.

[Howie Mandel]

M A I L. I love what you did.

[Andrew Santino]

There she is. There's my girl. That's from the neighborhood.

[Howie Mandel]

Oh, my God, I am wearing mail.

[Bobby Lee]

Alex, I want to say about your.

[Andrew Santino]

Dad, though, one of the greatest guys to ever live.

[Bobby Lee]

But he's also fashionable.

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah, he is very fashionable.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah, always. Why do you dress all Midwest? Like, why do I you? Yeah, I mean, just a standard, like, you know, solid color. Solid color. He's very like, you know.

[Howie Mandel]

Look at my son. And I know he's off camera, but if you look at him, he's dressed exactly, exactly like my wife.

[Bobby Lee]

I. I see.

[Andrew Santino]

Keep it in the family.

[Bobby Lee]

That's what he does. Howe.

[Howie Mandel]

Yes.

[Bobby Lee]

So if I've never seen you buzz somebody, like, it's not good. You. There's an X buzz.

[Howie Mandel]

No, I do it a lot.

[Bobby Lee]

Really?

[Howie Mandel]

Yeah. Probably more than anybody.

[Bobby Lee]

Like, if I went up there, watch the show. Like, if I went up there.

[Howie Mandel]

You really watched the show.

[Bobby Lee]

Like, if I went up there and, like, no music, and I was just like, buzz.

[Howie Mandel]

You know who. You just did. No, I won't buzz because there's a. You find this? Urian. Urian Retriever. It's yur.

[Bobby Lee]

That was embarrassing.

[Howie Mandel]

Urien Retriever dancing. Okay, maybe she does it. This is what you just reminded me of.

[Bobby Lee]

Did she make it?

[Howie Mandel]

No, but it's.

[Bobby Lee]

Oh, my God.

[Howie Mandel]

Funny. Wait, this is what you just look like when she was dancing.

[Bobby Lee]

Go to.

[Howie Mandel]

Go to the dancing. Go to the dancing. Tell me this is not Bobby Lee. That's what I'm saying.

[Bobby Lee]

That's what I'm saying. That's what I just did. That was Bobby Lee, dude. That's. Yeah.

[Howie Mandel]

Oh.

[Bobby Lee]

Oh, Simon. Oh, really? Knife bust your face. I know.

[Howie Mandel]

Good dancing.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Howie Mandel]

Look at it. Isn't that you Incredible. So why don't you come on and do it? You can make a at that season. I know Leanne Huff was there, who is a dance expert, and. And put her through the big black guy.

[Bobby Lee]

Like.

[Andrew Santino]

I think this is why America's in debt. This is why we're in the hole, man.

[Howie Mandel]

Why?

[Andrew Santino]

Because of Urian. What? What is urine? I didn't understand.

[Howie Mandel]

Her name is Urian Retriever.

[Andrew Santino]

I. Okay. Her name is Urian Retriever. I thought that was an animal. I swear to God, I thought.

[Howie Mandel]

No, Golden Retriever.

[Andrew Santino]

Is her name. Oh. Oh. Very different.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah, there she is.

[Howie Mandel]

Yeah, but she's not what you're looking at. Shots of her not dancing. When she dances.

[Andrew Santino]

I like the dance.

[Bobby Lee]

I think she's cute.

[Andrew Santino]

Take it away.

[Howie Mandel]

Should have her on the show.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah, she lives here. Really?

[Howie Mandel]

Yeah.

[Bobby Lee]

Single, you think?

[Howie Mandel]

Yes, I know she is.

[Bobby Lee]

Great.

[Andrew Santino]

You keep up with everyone who's ever contested on the show. I've heard.

[Howie Mandel]

I keep up with everybody.

[Andrew Santino]

He's. You know that he's got the cell phone number of everyone that's ever tried.

[Howie Mandel]

I don't have a cell phone, but I DM everybody. Yeah, I do. Do you want to meet Urian?

[Bobby Lee]

No, but, you know the one that you put around, the one that you gave, I think, a golden ticket to it. What's the. Grace Thunderbolt?

[Andrew Santino]

Who's Grace Thunderbolt?

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah, what's her name? Grace Thunderbolt. The singer.

[Howie Mandel]

I think you're thinking of Grace Vanderwaal.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah, that one.

[Howie Mandel]

Yeah. Grace.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah, Grace. Grace Thunderbolt. She's so good.

[Andrew Santino]

Howie, what are you going to do for your 70th?

[Bobby Lee]

I was kidding. Howie, don't call her.

[Howie Mandel]

I'm going to call her. Oh, Howie, you're single.

[Bobby Lee]

How.

[Howie Mandel]

Here she is.

[Bobby Lee]

Howie, don't call her.

[Howie Mandel]

Dude, I'm going to call her.

[Bobby Lee]

Oh, my God.

[Andrew Santino]

Well, let him call her. You never know what you'll get out of that.

[Howie Mandel]

I'll tell her to go on.

[Bobby Lee]

She's. She's on FaceTime. Maybe. Okay, I'll see. I'm going to do an accent, though, for sure. 1-800-Flowers calm.

[Andrew Santino]

Hey, Mom. Mom.

[Bobby Lee]

Mom.

[Andrew Santino]

Bobby. Mom.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah. And she. My mom. When I sent her the flowers, she what is. And she loved every single one. You said your mom, right?

[Andrew Santino]

I did. I love my mom. And I love your mom. And you know what? Moms deserve the best, especially here on Mother's Day. When it comes to flowers, there's only one place I trust to get it every time. This is a fact. I've been using these guys for so long. Way longer than they were a part of the show. But 1-800-Flowers.com so simple. Every single year, you pick something elegant and cute and sweet and colors that match your mom's style.

[Bobby Lee]

And right now, when you order one dozen roses, Andrew, they'll double it to two dozen free. Twice the beauty, twice the love, and all no extra cost, baby.

[Andrew Santino]

Man, don't wait. Show mom how much he means to you with a gift that says it all. Go to 1-800-flowers.com today. And give mom their flowers. They deserve them. Okay. To claim your double your roses offer, go to 1-800-flowers.com bad friends.

[Bobby Lee]

That's 1-800flowers.com bad friends 1-800flowers.com Bad Friends Square support for today's episode comes from Square, your all in one business partner, making your day to day easier.

[Andrew Santino]

From point of sale systems and payments to inventory and customer tools, Square brings everything together in one simple platform. You can stay organized, sell anywhere and keep things moving. Whether you're running a cafe, salon, boutique, something entirely on your own, Square gives you the flexibility to grow at your own pace and even set up an online store in just a few clicks.

[Bobby Lee]

Andrew. And right now, listeners can get up to $200 off Square Hardware when you sign [e-mail] Go Bad Friends.

[Andrew Santino]

That is S Q U A R E.com Go Bad Friends. Visit Square to get started because the right tools make all the difference. When I first started touring, by the way.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah.

[Andrew Santino]

I used Square the square on my phone. I would plug it in.

[Bobby Lee]

I remember that for merch.

[Andrew Santino]

I had to do that because a lot of places didn't take cash anymore. And also people don't carry cash anymore. So it's easiest for people to just tap the square.

[Bobby Lee]

And guess what? I was too dumb to do it.

[Andrew Santino]

You were and you are.

[Bobby Lee]

Exactly.

[Andrew Santino]

If you know then now. If you then know now, you would've.

[Bobby Lee]

Square keeps up. So you don't have to slow down, man. Get everything you need to run and grow your business without any long term commitments.

[Andrew Santino]

And why wait? What are you doing right now? You can get up to $200 off square [e-mail]. go badfriends.

[Bobby Lee]

That's square. S Q U-A R E.com go bad friends.

[Andrew Santino]

Run your business smarter with Square. Get started today.

[Bobby Lee]

Oh, yeah. Yeah. Okay, here we go.

[Howie Mandel]

No, do not do that.

[Bobby Lee]

Retriever. I'll do that like a doctor.

[Howie Mandel]

Stop that. You stop that.

[Bobby Lee]

Watch. I'm just practicing. Oh, let me. Yeah, let me leave that message. Let me. No.

[Howie Mandel]

It'S Howie.

[Andrew Santino]

There's no way her real name is Retriever. Yeah, Pretty stuck. Pretty stuck on that.

[Bobby Lee]

Really? Yeah.

[Andrew Santino]

A million followers though.

[Howie Mandel]

Yeah.

[Bobby Lee]

Killing it.

[Howie Mandel]

She's a dancer.

[Andrew Santino]

I know.

[Howie Mandel]

People love dance.

[Andrew Santino]

Well, yes, she did. Well, not enough. You didn't put her through.

[Howie Mandel]

I didn't have. Because other people didn't get it.

[Andrew Santino]

I get it. Simon.

[Bobby Lee]

Oh, Simon.

[Howie Mandel]

He doesn't understand dance like I do.

[Bobby Lee]

Who do you.

[Andrew Santino]

Who do you. Who do you love? Who do you really love working with? Truly, truly, truly. Who really good do you work with? There you go. You know, really enjoy that person a lot.

[Howie Mandel]

I. I enjoy Sofia Vergara.

[Andrew Santino]

She's great.

[Howie Mandel]

You should have on. Not only that, she's funny and funny.

[Andrew Santino]

I've never noticed her looks.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah. Oh, yeah.

[Howie Mandel]

Really?

[Andrew Santino]

That's not how I view people. He goes right to that beautiful thing, I think. Smart, sweet.

[Bobby Lee]

That pudgy Asian girl. I said she was good.

[Howie Mandel]

Okay, dude, why are you making fun of somebody that looks exactly like you?

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah, that's why. I can do it, right?

[Howie Mandel]

No, With a little. If it is you, you can do it.

[Andrew Santino]

That's right.

[Howie Mandel]

If they look like you and it's not you, you can't. What are you saying?

[Bobby Lee]

I guess kiwi fruit.

[Andrew Santino]

Kiwi fruit. Yeah. I've asked. I've asked, but I am really interested. What. What is 70th birthday gonna be? That's a huge. That's a big deal.

[Howie Mandel]

I'm gonna throw it myself. I'm gonna do. It's gonna be a surprise.

[Bobby Lee]

Are we invited to your party?

[Howie Mandel]

Telling anybody? No. I'm gonna plan it, but I'm not gonna tell anyone. I'm gonna park way down the street and then I'm gonna hide behind my door.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah.

[Howie Mandel]

And wait for nothing. I don't want to celebrate. All kidding aside, I'm not celebrating.

[Bobby Lee]

Do a party.

[Andrew Santino]

You're not going to celebrate your 70th birthday?

[Howie Mandel]

I don't want to. I don't like birthdays anymore.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Andrew Santino]

Why not?

[Howie Mandel]

I'm 70.

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah, but 70 is a big deal.

[Howie Mandel]

Here's the thing.

[Andrew Santino]

You know, she's never gonna get there. Do it for her.

[Howie Mandel]

How old are you?

[Jules]

23.

[Andrew Santino]

These people go fast.

[Bobby Lee]

They go fast.

[Howie Mandel]

I was.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah.

[Howie Mandel]

I was more than a decade older than you when you were born.

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah.

[Howie Mandel]

You know, I'm. The thing about me. Look at me.

[Jules]

You look young.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah.

[Howie Mandel]

You do die soon.

[Bobby Lee]

No, you're not.

[Howie Mandel]

I am not.

[Bobby Lee]

You're gonna be like that one guy.

[Howie Mandel]

Who'S the one guy that didn't die soon.

[Bobby Lee]

He's 99. What's his name, huh? Dick Van Dyke.

[Howie Mandel]

But even that.

[Bobby Lee]

You're gonna be like that?

[Howie Mandel]

29 years. 29 years. Which is even older than. So I've only got another 29.

[Andrew Santino]

You got a long time.

[Bobby Lee]

You got a long time, dude.

[Howie Mandel]

How many more appearances on this podcast do you think I've got left in me in the rest of my life?

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah.

[Andrew Santino]

Us egg. Honestly. Ask. Ask Ask AI how much longer. How he has to live.

[Howie Mandel]

Yeah, ask when. Howie, man. How much longer will Howie Mandel live?

[Bobby Lee]

And then three years from now, you're gonna be still doing that show. And the androids Are gonna be.

[Howie Mandel]

Are you gonna wait to air this? Like, to the day before this says. And then that way, this.

[Andrew Santino]

We usually hold this stuff out. If you die, this is gonna be a banger.

[Howie Mandel]

Yeah. Wouldn't that be great for you?

[Andrew Santino]

It is important how great. Look at that. Zoom in. It is impossible to predict how long any individual will live, including public figures like Howie Mandel. Life expectancy depends on many factors, including Gen X, lifestyle choice, medical conditions, and even chance. However, Howie Mandel, like anyone else, will live as long as his health and circumstances allow. No one can know for sure how long. Probably the next four years. That's pretty astute.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah.

[Howie Mandel]

See, but you're gonna.

[Andrew Santino]

You're gonna go for a long time. You're a healthy guy. Well, you exercise.

[Howie Mandel]

I do.

[Andrew Santino]

And you exercise your brain daily. That's mo. That's just as important. That's what they say. If the noodle is activated.

[Howie Mandel]

Is that what they say?

[Andrew Santino]

They say a healthy brain is a healthier life. For sure. Do you ever see life in the blue zones? Do you ever watch that?

[Howie Mandel]

No. What. What is that like? That's what the blue zones. I. I know what it is. It's the blue areas in the world where people live the longest.

[Andrew Santino]

And they say that.

[Howie Mandel]

And they have a series.

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah, they did a Netflix.

[Bobby Lee]

Is Okinawa Blue Zone.

[Andrew Santino]

It was.

[Bobby Lee]

What happened? Godzilla.

[Andrew Santino]

Godzilla.

[Bobby Lee]

Oh, yeah. It's a green zone based on life in the Jews.

[Andrew Santino]

Life in the Jew zones.

[Howie Mandel]

Yeah.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah.

[Howie Mandel]

They don't live long, but they complain about everything.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah. But, Howie, I want to say something.

[Howie Mandel]

Don't.

[Bobby Lee]

I think I do know. I really. No, I really don't. I really do. I really do, though.

[Howie Mandel]

I think so. May I? Go ahead.

[Andrew Santino]

Say.

[Howie Mandel]

What do you want to say?

[Bobby Lee]

You know, I. I act a certain way when I'm around you, but really I'm like.

[Howie Mandel]

You act a certain way?

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah. I try to be confident around you, like I'm the guy or whatever, but it's like at the end of the day, I'm just. I've always been a fan of yours. Like when I. We. You and Arsenio do, you know, doing that tour together.

[Howie Mandel]

Yeah.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah. And I just love both of you.

[Andrew Santino]

Guys, so it's like you've got the. All over your.

[Bobby Lee]

What is it?

[Andrew Santino]

She just. A lot of.

[Howie Mandel]

You didn't brush your teeth for this thing.

[Bobby Lee]

I just want to say that. I'm just.

[Howie Mandel]

You didn't even brush your teeth. How big a fan could you be if you've got. You just like. You don't even.

[Andrew Santino]

You wouldn't even take care of yourself. Howie. My Dale comes. You didn't even floss.

[Bobby Lee]

So, Howie, what time do you go to bed at night?

[Howie Mandel]

Are you sending me to bed now?

[Bobby Lee]

No, I'm not. No.

[Andrew Santino]

I do want to know.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah. What time do you. At night? I feel like you don't get good sleep.

[Howie Mandel]

I don't exactly don't. Yeah, because I don't.

[Bobby Lee]

You think too much.

[Howie Mandel]

I can't sleep.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah, you think too much.

[Howie Mandel]

I don't know what's going on.

[Bobby Lee]

I know what it is. You've told me.

[Howie Mandel]

I'm a mess.

[Bobby Lee]

You're a mess. And you told me what it all healthy. Can I tell you what it is?

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Bobby Lee]

What it is is this. It's you. You keep going. You. You can't sit down because when you sit down.

[Howie Mandel]

Yeah.

[Bobby Lee]

You start thinking and then you get all fucked up.

[Howie Mandel]

I get fucked up.

[Bobby Lee]

You keep going and you have to constantly work, work, work, work. I got a fucking therapist.

[Howie Mandel]

I know. And you didn't make me happy. Thinking I live for a long time.

[Bobby Lee]

This is too.

[Howie Mandel]

It's too tiring.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah. Yeah. But you need help.

[Howie Mandel]

I do.

[Bobby Lee]

Do you think or no? Alex.

[Howie Mandel]

Do you think I get help?

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah.

[Howie Mandel]

As I sit here. I'm incredibly medicated.

[Bobby Lee]

Okay. Yes.

[Andrew Santino]

What are you on?

[Howie Mandel]

I'm not. I'm a gun. I don't tell my. My. But I am on medic.

[Bobby Lee]

I'm a Ritalin.

[Andrew Santino]

You're on medication?

[Howie Mandel]

Yeah.

[Andrew Santino]

Oh, right, right. Well, that's healthy. That's good. If you're. If you feel good, do you feel at bay? You feel balanced or you feel held back?

[Howie Mandel]

I feel numb.

[Andrew Santino]

Okay, good. No.

[Howie Mandel]

Is that good?

[Andrew Santino]

No. You got to feel stuff.

[Bobby Lee]

Hey, Howie.

[Howie Mandel]

Would you shut up?

[Bobby Lee]

Howie.

[Howie Mandel]

Yes.

[Bobby Lee]

Back in the day at the Comedy Store days. Because you know, me, him and I still go to the store a lot.

[Howie Mandel]

Yeah, I go sometimes.

[Bobby Lee]

Do you.

[Howie Mandel]

You see me there?

[Bobby Lee]

I know, but are there guys that, like, you didn't like? They're still around?

[Andrew Santino]

Oh, yeah.

[Bobby Lee]

We like this kind of talk.

[Andrew Santino]

Who used to be back in the day.

[Howie Mandel]

Nobody.

[Bobby Lee]

Let me throw some names out.

[Howie Mandel]

Okay.

[Bobby Lee]

Dice. How was Dice?

[Howie Mandel]

He was nice to me. He actually. And he came on my podcast and talked about how he took some of my material.

[Andrew Santino]

He stole from you.

[Howie Mandel]

He. He. He. Roses are red, violets are blue. You are schizophrenic. I am schizophrenic. And so am I. Was mine.

[Bobby Lee]

Wow.

[Howie Mandel]

And then. And then he did it. But he says that I love him. Now who's been watching him lately?

[Andrew Santino]

Who Else stole that.

[Howie Mandel]

Have you been watching him?

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah, he's great.

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah.

[Howie Mandel]

No, but on the. On. On his Instagram, where he goes up to people and he says, take a picture with me.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah.

[Howie Mandel]

And they don't know who the. That's. He's hysterical. And now he's got John Lovitz with him where he.

[Bobby Lee]

He.

[Andrew Santino]

Do you know what the line you just said. You know who else stole that? You know where that's from? Roses are red, violets are blue. I'm a schizophrenic. And so am I. You wrote that.

[Howie Mandel]

I wrote that.

[Andrew Santino]

Do you know what it.

[Howie Mandel]

You know, 19 movie.

[Andrew Santino]

That's in. No, that's in. That's in.

[Howie Mandel]

You don't know either. That's the beauty of it.

[Andrew Santino]

No, I do know. This is crazy. My brain just went blank.

[Howie Mandel]

You know, a lot of of mine got stolen when I was a kid.

[Andrew Santino]

No, no, it's Richard Dreyfus and Bill Murray. It's. It's. What about Bob? It's in what about Bob? The scene where he is in the mental hospital, he says, there it is, Rosa. Red. Violet's blue. I'm a schizophrenic. And so am I. Right there. I called it.

[Howie Mandel]

I wrote that in 19.

[Andrew Santino]

But, you know, I remember that clip.

[Bobby Lee]

Can you sue?

[Howie Mandel]

No. You know, I tried to make suits originally, one of my.

[Andrew Santino]

Look, they made a meme.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah. Oh, my God.

[Andrew Santino]

I remember that.

[Bobby Lee]

So vivid. They stole that from you.

[Howie Mandel]

No, I didn't. He did. He heard me do it and then he did it.

[Andrew Santino]

No, that's to put it in a movie.

[Howie Mandel]

He came on.

[Bobby Lee]

He. Well, this.

[Howie Mandel]

I don't know. I didn't know.

[Bobby Lee]

Why did you do that to Bill Burr?

[Howie Mandel]

I. Oh, I feel so bad. I feel bad. Why would you told me to go.

[Bobby Lee]

No.

[Howie Mandel]

Why would you people want to beat me up?

[Bobby Lee]

Why would you go to the King and trap him?

[Howie Mandel]

Let me be honest.

[Andrew Santino]

What are you trying to do, Dude?

[Howie Mandel]

I tried. I tried to be something nice. I thought I was doing something nice. Don't you think it's nice to bring family together?

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah, but if you're not honest before.

[Andrew Santino]

It'S kind of like the whistle.

[Howie Mandel]

It's called.

[Andrew Santino]

It's a surprise.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah, it's. That was a whistle. Yeah.

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah, that was a whistle.

[Bobby Lee]

So what was that all about, guy?

[Howie Mandel]

Billy Corgan came on my show and told the story that he'd never told before. It wasn't even a bit that I planned.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah, yeah.

[Howie Mandel]

Plan was I was. Billy Corgan was on. Gonna do my podcast, and I Said, you know, here's. This will be funny. I'm gonna just say that Bill Burr is doing the podcast and will never cop to the fact that you're Billy Corgan. And I'll. I will talk. You'll answer questions as Bill Burr. He goes, nah, I don't want to do that, but do you know my Bill Burr story? And I said, no, I don't know your Bill Burr story. I said, I never told it before. Can I tell it on your show? Go ahead. Tell me your Bill Burr story. So he told me that his mother or stepmother told him that there's a famous comedian who has a really good chance of being your brother.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah.

[Howie Mandel]

You heard the story. I'm not gonna.

[Bobby Lee]

I know. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. But maybe the audience has it.

[Howie Mandel]

Do you want me to tell it again?

[Bobby Lee]

It's. That's it.

[Howie Mandel]

It's Billy Corrigan's story. Billy Corrigan said that his. But the problem is, is that was a slanderer.

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah, yeah.

[Howie Mandel]

A musician who, you know, had fun. He did meet and greets.

[Bobby Lee]

Right.

[Howie Mandel]

You know, and he. He liked me. Didn't shake hands.

[Bobby Lee]

He just put his. But I mean, it doesn't make any sense, because Bill Burr and Billy Corgan both knew their dads. Right. I don't know individually, did they know their dads? Like, did they know who.

[Howie Mandel]

They know who they think their dad is? Yes.

[Bobby Lee]

Oh, they never physically saw their dad then.

[Howie Mandel]

No, they physically. Just because a guy lives in your house with your mother doesn't make him your dad.

[Bobby Lee]

Very nice. Very good. I never thought.

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah, let's see somebody steal that.

[Bobby Lee]

But is he. Is Bill mad? Is Bill still mad?

[Howie Mandel]

Not Corrigan. Burr.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah, Burr's mad.

[Andrew Santino]

Burr's never mad.

[Howie Mandel]

I know he's not mad.

[Andrew Santino]

I've never seen Burr mad. I don't think I've ever seen Burr upset.

[Bobby Lee]

He internal. Internalizes it. I think he's mad.

[Howie Mandel]

He talked about.

[Andrew Santino]

Are you guys fucking here right now? Is this a comedy?

[Howie Mandel]

That was irony.

[Bobby Lee]

Oh, yeah. Oh, sorry. Oh, yeah, My bad, dude. I'm off today.

[Howie Mandel]

Ironic.

[Bobby Lee]

Oh, very good. He cut out because he's really not that. Yeah.

[Howie Mandel]

Where you told us that we didn't react properly.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah, yeah. That's so good.

[Howie Mandel]

You edit that out and then you just get the.

[Andrew Santino]

No, no.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah.

[Andrew Santino]

The audience at home will get it.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah.

[Andrew Santino]

We have to let them get it, you know, sometimes.

[Howie Mandel]

So then Bill Burr was on my show just to promote his upcoming Hulu Special. Hulu Special. And the fact that he was going to. On Broadway.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah.

[Howie Mandel]

And all that gay.

[Andrew Santino]

All right, go ahead. I have to say, whenever I hear the word, I'm sorry, that's instinct. I apologize.

[Howie Mandel]

Hulu Gay.

[Bobby Lee]

So then what?

[Howie Mandel]

So anyway, what I was. So I said, I called up Billy, who does work in my space, because he said he was going to. Anyway, I called and I said, billy.

[Andrew Santino]

Corgan works in your space?

[Howie Mandel]

Yeah.

[Andrew Santino]

What is he doing there?

[Howie Mandel]

A podcast.

[Andrew Santino]

He's got a podcast, huh? Gee, everyone's got.

[Howie Mandel]

It's called the Magnificent Others.

[Andrew Santino]

That's what it's called.

[Bobby Lee]

It going well.

[Howie Mandel]

I don't know. I don't look at numbers.

[Bobby Lee]

Okay.

[Howie Mandel]

I'm not here for numbers.

[Andrew Santino]

I just know since his band was Smashing Pumpkins, the podcast should be called Picking up the Pieces. Yeah, I feel like that would have been more in line with the.

[Bobby Lee]

My favorite album of all time, Gish.

[Andrew Santino]

The Gish.

[Bobby Lee]

You remember Gish?

[Andrew Santino]

Oh, yeah.

[Bobby Lee]

The very first one. Smashing Pumpkin.

[Andrew Santino]

Smash Pumpkin is phenomenal.

[Bobby Lee]

Phenomenal.

[Andrew Santino]

What city is he from? One, two, three.

[Howie Mandel]

Chicago.

[Andrew Santino]

The best.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah. Can you ask him if I want to do it? Okay.

[Howie Mandel]

I'm sure he would have you.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah, I would love to do it.

[Howie Mandel]

I'm sure he'd love to. You want me phone him now?

[Bobby Lee]

I'd be so nervous to meet him.

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah, he doesn't want to.

[Bobby Lee]

Me, I'm a huge fan. Yeah, you know, it's like, I phoned.

[Andrew Santino]

I can't believe.

[Bobby Lee]

You know.

[Howie Mandel]

Anyway, the point is, he was in my building.

[Andrew Santino]

How did. How did they never cast Billy Corgan in fx? Is what we do in the shadow.

[Bobby Lee]

I know. It's like, dude, it's incredible.

[Andrew Santino]

No hair, no makeup. Yeah, no, but look, honestly, I'm not kidding when I say you got to let us throw you a 70th birthday party. Let us do it.

[Bobby Lee]

Let us do it.

[Howie Mandel]

I'll do it.

[Andrew Santino]

No, I'm dead serious. I think it's important.

[Howie Mandel]

Be great to celebrate with bad friends.

[Andrew Santino]

Can we do it, Bob? Can we?

[Bobby Lee]

I would love to do it.

[Howie Mandel]

All right.

[Bobby Lee]

I don't want to start fight with you, but I have to say it. We get it. You know, John Mayer. Let's move on. We went to the show this week. Yeah, we get it.

[Howie Mandel]

But anyway, I know you went to Vegas.

[Andrew Santino]

I'm not allowed to wear the shirt or the pan.

[Bobby Lee]

Hey, look who I'm friends with.

[Howie Mandel]

You know what's funny about that?

[Bobby Lee]

Disgusting.

[Howie Mandel]

I know.

[Bobby Lee]

That might not back me up. You're so gross.

[Andrew Santino]

That's right.

[Howie Mandel]

I asked you to be on the podcast this week and you. You could have said no. I got I got things to do. But you were very specific about telling me I'm going to Vegas to see the dick.

[Bobby Lee]

That's what he does. I think I. That's what he did.

[Andrew Santino]

I did. I go. I'm going to Vegas.

[Bobby Lee]

You go back to the dead.

[Andrew Santino]

No.

[Bobby Lee]

You didn't?

[Andrew Santino]

No.

[Bobby Lee]

You didn't see John one time?

[Andrew Santino]

Nope.

[Bobby Lee]

He lies.

[Howie Mandel]

Three.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah, yeah, three times. Had lunch, meals?

[Andrew Santino]

No.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. No, nothing. Did you get it for free?

[Howie Mandel]

Did you get him for free?

[Bobby Lee]

Oh, yeah.

[Andrew Santino]

No, I pay.

[Bobby Lee]

No, no. Are you out of your mind? Howie, I pay. This guy is the cell in the front row with Shaquille and Humphries and all those guys.

[Andrew Santino]

Have you seen Shaquille Humphries play ball?

[Howie Mandel]

Amazing.

[Andrew Santino]

Guy's got handled his big hand.

[Howie Mandel]

You know, you're a good seat if you're sitting in Tracy Morgan's puke.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah. So my point is, is that he went. Had a jolly time.

[Andrew Santino]

Had a great time.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah.

[Andrew Santino]

You know, he's jealous.

[Bobby Lee]

Who's the famous. Most famous person? You know?

[Howie Mandel]

I think everybody.

[Andrew Santino]

I mean, it's such a dumb question. Such a loser dumb question. Take your headphones off and walk. Go smoke.

[Howie Mandel]

Where are you going?

[Andrew Santino]

He's gonna go shorten his life.

[Howie Mandel]

How come the guy doesn't come? Oh, there he is around the corner again.

[Andrew Santino]

Come on, sit down. Sit down. I don't want you to pass out.

[Howie Mandel]

I don't like your shoes. Can I get you Skechers? I'm supposed to.

[Andrew Santino]

Oh, you gotta plug it.

[Howie Mandel]

Spread Skechers.

[Andrew Santino]

I would love to know that deal. How much money is sketch keep?

[Bobby Lee]

That much.

[Howie Mandel]

You know how I got the deal?

[Andrew Santino]

That's got to be so much.

[Howie Mandel]

You know how I got the deal, agt? No. You know how I got the deal? Really? I've told. I think I've told this story before, but I'm going to tell you.

[Bobby Lee]

I don't want to hear it.

[Howie Mandel]

Okay.

[Andrew Santino]

Let him tell the story.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah, I'm sorry, Howie.

[Howie Mandel]

I went to Skechers because I like. I'm not plugging. This is the absolute truth. I like the slip ins because I don't like to touch laces. I don't want to touch the fucking shoes. So when I'm not doing a show, I go there and I bought the slip ins. I walk up to the counter. This is in Marina Del Rey. You could check all these. These are facts. I walk up to the counter, the girl at the cash register says, are you Howie Mandel? I said, yes. She goes, oh, you're. You're obviously an ambassador, you get 30% off. I went, obviously. And I, I. Wow. My wife was standing behind me. She kicked me. She goes, you don't. For 30 bucks. Whenever I was getting off and. But then she goes. So she gives me. I pay for the shoe. She gives me 30 off. And then she says, I can't find your name in the computer.

[Andrew Santino]

Oh, my God.

[Howie Mandel]

That's what I said. I went, oh, my God. I don't know what the is wrong. But they don't know.

[Bobby Lee]

But they give it to you anyway, right?

[Howie Mandel]

What? She goes, I'll give it to you anyway.

[Bobby Lee]

There we go.

[Howie Mandel]

Here's what, here's what you got to do.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah.

[Howie Mandel]

You gotta take the shoes, hold them up. I'm gonna take a picture of you and send it to the head office.

[Andrew Santino]

Whoa.

[Howie Mandel]

My wife is kicking me. You idiot.

[Bobby Lee]

You.

[Howie Mandel]

You're so embarrassing. Yeah, and then. And then they take a picture of me. They send it.

[Andrew Santino]

So wait a minute.

[Howie Mandel]

Wait, wait, wait.

[Bobby Lee]

30 riveting story. And I'm finished. Okay, to this riveting story. So let it fucking end it. Sorry, go ahead.

[Andrew Santino]

I'm sorry.

[Bobby Lee]

Okay. So they take the photo. You can edit it out with this. And then what happens?

[Howie Mandel]

Two weeks later, I got a call from my agent that said Skechers called. And I go, they went for 30 fucking dollars, they're calling, they found me. They tracked me down and they said they want me to be an ambassador. And they made me do a commercial telling this story that I told.

[Bobby Lee]

Wow.

[Howie Mandel]

See, it's not great story.

[Bobby Lee]

I love it. I love it. It feels so good.

[Howie Mandel]

What?

[Bobby Lee]

He interrupted you with the photo and then it up the rhythm of the.

[Howie Mandel]

Story, and there's no rhythm comedy.

[Andrew Santino]

Look at his shirt, dude, the jealousy is so gross.

[Howie Mandel]

Who did you go with?

[Bobby Lee]

Oh, let me guess. Jason Bateman? Ryan Reynolds. Who knows Howie? That's where he's in line with.

[Howie Mandel]

Who did you go with?

[Andrew Santino]

I went with Armie Hammer.

[Howie Mandel]

You know, I just had him on the.

[Bobby Lee]

Did you.

[Howie Mandel]

Yeah, yeah, I know.

[Andrew Santino]

I was gonna make a joke and you. You didn't even let me get it.

[Bobby Lee]

I'm so sorry. I'm off.

[Andrew Santino]

I was gonna say 30 off. Did they owe you money? I mean, dude, now it doesn't work. Thanks, man.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah, my rhythm's off.

[Andrew Santino]

I was trying to sketcher zinc.

[Howie Mandel]

This is not live, guys.

[Andrew Santino]

You could re edit up all the time.

[Howie Mandel]

No post.

[Bobby Lee]

My rhythm's off.

[Howie Mandel]

Was that irony again? Just for my.

[Andrew Santino]

Thank you.

[Howie Mandel]

Thank you. You got it. So last week I had Army Hammer on and my daughter, who I do I have my daughter.

[Andrew Santino]

I like your daughter. She's sweet.

[Bobby Lee]

She think she's hot.

[Howie Mandel]

She wouldn't do the show.

[Andrew Santino]

Are you doing.

[Howie Mandel]

She wouldn't do the show.

[Andrew Santino]

You can't.

[Bobby Lee]

You guys say she's hot?

[Andrew Santino]

Well, you can't say she's old.

[Howie Mandel]

She's 40.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah, she's hot for 40. And Alex is handsome.

[Andrew Santino]

Just.

[Bobby Lee]

Why can I say that?

[Andrew Santino]

No, no.

[Bobby Lee]

You know what, dude? I think what you're doing doesn't sit right. Let me say that with you.

[Andrew Santino]

She's hot.

[Bobby Lee]

Why are you offended? Say your daughter again. I'll start it over.

[Howie Mandel]

My. My daughter, who I do. My Jacqueline.

[Andrew Santino]

Love it.

[Bobby Lee]

She's so ugly.

[Andrew Santino]

Wait, there it is.

[Howie Mandel]

That doesn't.

[Bobby Lee]

She talks.

[Howie Mandel]

Yeah, that doesn't sit right with me.

[Andrew Santino]

See?

[Bobby Lee]

Look at that piece of.

[Andrew Santino]

No, no.

[Bobby Lee]

What do you want then, guy?

[Andrew Santino]

Say nothing.

[Bobby Lee]

All right, Say it again.

[Howie Mandel]

My daughter, who I do my podcast with.

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah, yeah. Better go on.

[Howie Mandel]

I don't have it. The time is running.

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah, no, no. But. But your daughter.

[Howie Mandel]

She wouldn't sit in the room with Army.

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah, right.

[Bobby Lee]

Oh, she's one of those. Well, she doesn't want to be bitten.

[Andrew Santino]

Oh, no.

[Bobby Lee]

That's.

[Howie Mandel]

What.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah. Bitten. He's Spanish.

[Howie Mandel]

Oh, God.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Howie Mandel]

If he wasn't, it was like a speech impediment.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah.

[Jules]

Is that true that he likes to eat people?

[Andrew Santino]

Ask Howie. He had him on the show.

[Howie Mandel]

He said no.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah, I don't think he's. I don't know.

[Andrew Santino]

He said no.

[Howie Mandel]

He doesn't.

[Andrew Santino]

Your honor. He said no.

[Howie Mandel]

He didn't get charged.

[Andrew Santino]

And it's. That is true.

[Howie Mandel]

He's never eaten anybody.

[Andrew Santino]

Never eaten a person. I think it'd take a lot to eat somebody.

[Bobby Lee]

I also think he has podcasting chops. I've seen clips. I like it.

[Andrew Santino]

Don't say chops because.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah. Wow.

[Andrew Santino]

Did you give him, like, why don't we go ahead and, like, a fork and a knife? Like, thanks for coming on the show. Sit down. Don't get this away from the guy. Well, he was a nice guy.

[Howie Mandel]

I would imagine that if people. You know, some people don't watch a whole podcast. So if you tune into that episode halfway through and you don't see my daughter, you're gonna assume he ate her.

[Andrew Santino]

Right?

[Howie Mandel]

That's what. We'll show clips without her there with no explanation. And they'll.

[Andrew Santino]

People go, I want him to hear the show and be like, why would.

[Howie Mandel]

How do you talk about me like that, Army?

[Andrew Santino]

I've never heard that guy. I don't even know how he sounds.

[Bobby Lee]

Oh, let me try.

[Andrew Santino]

How does he sound?

[Bobby Lee]

My name is Harmon.

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah, see, we did the same kind of thing. Exactly.

[Bobby Lee]

I'm Harmon. I was on the movie with Johnny J. Anyway, he plays the Indian.

[Andrew Santino]

Perfect.

[Howie Mandel]

That's Lone Ranger.

[Bobby Lee]

Lone Ranger, Right.

[Howie Mandel]

Ranger. That's a Lone Ranger.

[Bobby Lee]

Cho, what's this? What? I'm off. I'm really off. Yeah, I have a Sleep Ranger Choncho is the.

[Howie Mandel]

When they had. When the Lone Ranger had a Chinese sidekick.

[Bobby Lee]

You, man making fun of the Chinese? I don't know what I'm doing.

[Howie Mandel]

You said choncho.

[Bobby Lee]

You're right. I love you so much.

[Howie Mandel]

I put the ch into for the Chinese.

[Bobby Lee]

Look at him.

[Howie Mandel]

Ponto is Native American.

[Andrew Santino]

That's the cologne commercial he does. Is that what that is?

[Howie Mandel]

That's Stallone. Ranger.

[Andrew Santino]

Oh, that is that movie.

[Howie Mandel]

What are you talking about?

[Andrew Santino]

He doesn't. Doesn't do a cologne commercial. Who dresses the exact same? Johnny Depp.

[Howie Mandel]

Johnny Depp.

[Andrew Santino]

Look at. Look at.

[Howie Mandel]

Like that.

[Andrew Santino]

Look at that. Look at Sauvage. Look. It looks the exact same. What's the difference? Show me the difference between the two photos. Sauvage. Sauvage you never seen.

[Howie Mandel]

And then Tonto.

[Andrew Santino]

That's his. That's his sketcher.

[Howie Mandel]

Well, you're right.

[Bobby Lee]

Exactly. You know what? You know what Johnny Depp looks like? Go back to The Tanto one. Argus Hamilton in the 70s.

[Howie Mandel]

Can you imagine?

[Bobby Lee]

It was a cocaine joke.

[Howie Mandel]

Bedroom.

[Bobby Lee]

It was a cocaine.

[Howie Mandel]

Oh, I'm laughing. Yeah, yeah, I'm laughing. Can you imagine him walking into his room looking like that and saying to his ex, you're a man of poo poo. You know what that is, right?

[Jules]

No.

[Howie Mandel]

His ex wife.

[Andrew Santino]

Look at that photo.

[Bobby Lee]

What's that Argus Hamilton joke?

[Andrew Santino]

He goes, that photo's.

[Bobby Lee]

I didn't like cocaine. I just like the way it smelled.

[Andrew Santino]

That Vargas. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Howie Mandel]

His ex wife. Johnny Depp's ex wife made a poo poo in the bed. Have you ever done that to a boyfriend's bed?

[Jules]

No, but I sometimes fool myself in the car.

[Bobby Lee]

Do you remember what I.

[Howie Mandel]

You see my poo yourself in the car.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah.

[Howie Mandel]

Howie, you know, it's Uber, not pooper.

[Bobby Lee]

He seen my poo.

[Howie Mandel]

He's seen your poo.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Jules]

Who hasn't?

[Howie Mandel]

With that accent? It sounds like.

[Bobby Lee]

Imagine that was a sitcom.

[Andrew Santino]

It's always like a bad line reading.

[Bobby Lee]

We have to get. We'd have to get that over with. Do another one.

[Andrew Santino]

I mean, you're.

[Howie Mandel]

What do you mean? Who has.

[Andrew Santino]

You're like let's do that again.

[Bobby Lee]

Let's do that again.

[Andrew Santino]

So, you know, from the room.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah, that's. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. It was that kind of line, right?

[Howie Mandel]

How did you see the poo?

[Andrew Santino]

I will. Not.

[Howie Mandel]

Exactly what it is.

[Bobby Lee]

That's exactly what it is. White. Was. Tommy. Was. Yeah. Was. Yeah. Yeah. So he seen my poo?

[Andrew Santino]

I've seen it.

[Bobby Lee]

He said. He said my poo. Who hasn't?

[Andrew Santino]

There. It's a good reason.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Howie Mandel]

Who hasn't seen your poo?

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah.

[Howie Mandel]

Why did you see his poo?

[Andrew Santino]

He relapsed in Cancun and he got all over the walls.

[Howie Mandel]

Well, talk about missing.

[Bobby Lee]

Anyway, that's true.

[Andrew Santino]

That's literally.

[Howie Mandel]

Is that you and Bobby Cancun? That picture right there?

[Andrew Santino]

No, that's those two guys now.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah.

[Howie Mandel]

Is that your poop on the wall and on your face?

[Andrew Santino]

By the way, did this movie bomb.

[Bobby Lee]

Yes, it did.

[Andrew Santino]

What a bu.

[Howie Mandel]

He was the man from UNCLE Also.

[Andrew Santino]

Oh, yeah.

[Bobby Lee]

Also. The Winkleville twins.

[Howie Mandel]

The Winklevoss twins. Call me by. Call me by your name. Timothy Chalamet. He made that movie, too.

[Andrew Santino]

Social Network.

[Howie Mandel]

Yeah. Yes.

[Andrew Santino]

Such a good movie.

[Bobby Lee]

I love Timothy Chalamet.

[Andrew Santino]

What's a kid's name? What's Spider Man? I love Andrew Garfield. That kid's phenomenal, too.

[Bobby Lee]

The.

[Howie Mandel]

Does that have to do with anything? We're talking.

[Andrew Santino]

He was in. He was in Social Network.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah.

[Howie Mandel]

Oh, okay.

[Andrew Santino]

I named the whole cast.

[Howie Mandel]

Eduardo, how do you poo in the car? Why do you poo in the car?

[Jules]

I just had diarrhea and I couldn't hold it.

[Bobby Lee]

Okay. You never shit your pants, Howie. There's no.

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah. There's no way.

[Howie Mandel]

But she's 70. Like, it's always in the car.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah.

[Howie Mandel]

I'm 70 years old. I've done it many, many times. I could do it on command.

[Jules]

Do you have a leaky butt now because you're old?

[Andrew Santino]

Good question.

[Bobby Lee]

Very good question.

[Howie Mandel]

Are you serious?

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah.

[Jules]

Yeah.

[Howie Mandel]

Nope.

[Bobby Lee]

Okay.

[Jules]

It's still tight.

[Howie Mandel]

Yeah, I got a tight ass.

[Bobby Lee]

Hey, Jules.

[Howie Mandel]

These are.

[Bobby Lee]

It's a game. It's a game.

[Howie Mandel]

It's like being on 60 Minutes. What are you eating? What are you doing there?

[Bobby Lee]

Donut. What is he doing?

[Andrew Santino]

I have diabetes. If I don't eat this, my blood sugar.

[Howie Mandel]

What are you doing to it before you eat it?

[Bobby Lee]

I chopped it up. He chops.

[Howie Mandel]

You chop up a donut?

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah. Yeah. Try the other one.

[Howie Mandel]

Who eats a donut with a fork? I've never seen that.

[Andrew Santino]

People who are friends with John Mayer.

[Howie Mandel]

I've never seen somebody Eat it with a fork.

[Andrew Santino]

I gotta be honest with you.

[Howie Mandel]

Yeah.

[Andrew Santino]

It's the only way to eat it. These people use their hands. I mean, you of all people, you should know. Why touch it?

[Bobby Lee]

So, Andrew, can you teach me how to do this?

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah.

[Bobby Lee]

So I did a movie with Billy Armstrong from Green Day. And we're talking, you know, getting a makeup together, right? And I'm trying to, like, get his number right, but I don't want to directly, you know? I mean, so I start, like, angling. You know what I mean? Like, yeah, you know. You know, so jawbreaker started when you started. You know, I'm trying to get into, like. You know what I mean?

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah.

[Bobby Lee]

I can never get it to a place where I can get his number.

[Andrew Santino]

I can tell you, the hands don't help. I mean, I wouldn't give you my money.

[Bobby Lee]

Check it out, dude. I love your dude. That's not good. No, no.

[Andrew Santino]

Oh, looks like you're doing well.

[Howie Mandel]

If you're gonna use your hands, you should have held up fingers. Like, hint. If you held up fingers. Like, if you just. If. When you're talking to him, you just go. You just keep talking. Hey, Billy, I love the stuff you do.

[Bobby Lee]

Really?

[Howie Mandel]

And he'll go, what's with those numbers? And you go, what? Those numbers aren't yours. And he goes, no, my number is. And then you get it.

[Bobby Lee]

No. Really?

[Howie Mandel]

Yeah.

[Bobby Lee]

Let me try that.

[Howie Mandel]

That's how I would do it.

[Bobby Lee]

All right. Hey, Billy, man, I love your music. Good.

[Howie Mandel]

Thank you.

[Bobby Lee]

Well, no, here, check it out. If I'm saying something wrong, go stick your finger up.

[Andrew Santino]

You got it.

[Bobby Lee]

Right? Hey. Really?

[Andrew Santino]

No.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Howie Mandel]

Okay.

[Bobby Lee]

Billy, what's up, man?

[Howie Mandel]

No.

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah, what's up?

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah.

[Andrew Santino]

You never say that.

[Bobby Lee]

I know.

[Andrew Santino]

So I'm not being makeup.

[Howie Mandel]

Are you sitting beside him in the makeup play?

[Andrew Santino]

No. No.

[Howie Mandel]

What's the movie?

[Bobby Lee]

What? What were you doing here, dog? What's up, bro? Oakland.

[Andrew Santino]

No.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Andrew Santino]

San Diego.

[Bobby Lee]

But he's from Oakland.

[Andrew Santino]

But you're not.

[Bobby Lee]

I know, but I know that he is. So I go, what's up? Oakland?

[Andrew Santino]

No.

[Howie Mandel]

Huge.

[Bobby Lee]

All right, so you're not. Marshawn, let's be real. I'll do it real.

[Howie Mandel]

Okay.

[Bobby Lee]

Hey, man, thanks for putting me in your movie, man.

[Howie Mandel]

Oh, you're in his movie? Yeah, dude, what movie was it?

[Bobby Lee]

He wrote a movie.

[Howie Mandel]

When?

[Bobby Lee]

What?

[Andrew Santino]

Some of these are for.

[Bobby Lee]

How did he call you?

[Howie Mandel]

But he called you. You don't have call.

[Bobby Lee]

He went to my agent.

[Howie Mandel]

Oh.

[Bobby Lee]

And then the angel goes, yeah, Billy wants you in the movie. So I said, yes. So I show up. So I'm like, what's up, Bill? Thanks for putting me in your movie, man.

[Howie Mandel]

You. You're welcome.

[Bobby Lee]

Okay, cool. Anyway, I haven't seen you, like, 20 years, dude. And you were. You and your wife were so nice to me back in the day when we used to hang out.

[Howie Mandel]

400-69734.

[Bobby Lee]

That's how you do it.

[Howie Mandel]

Yeah, that works.

[Bobby Lee]

Worked.

[Howie Mandel]

It worked, didn't it?

[Bobby Lee]

How'd you get John.

[Andrew Santino]

I'm gonna need you guys back on set, so.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Andrew Santino]

How'd you get John Myers his phone number?

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah, I know.

[Howie Mandel]

How are you good friends with John Mayer?

[Andrew Santino]

What is that? Yeah, you just go on AGT right there. What was that?

[Bobby Lee]

How was your experience here, Howie? Did you have fun?

[Howie Mandel]

That's a goodbye, isn't it?

[Andrew Santino]

What's that?

[Howie Mandel]

Do you have time this week to come do mine?

[Andrew Santino]

I'm leaving tomorrow morning.

[Bobby Lee]

Howie. Howie, you're. He's never coming back. Let me be your agent. He's never coming back.

[Howie Mandel]

Where are you going tomorrow morning?

[Andrew Santino]

Miami.

[Bobby Lee]

He is a golf thing with John Mayer.

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah, I actually am going with John. John. John is going to fly me out.

[Bobby Lee]

And I'm busy, too.

[Howie Mandel]

We. Come on now.

[Andrew Santino]

Do you know why? You know why I won't come back on the show?

[Howie Mandel]

No.

[Andrew Santino]

Because I don't do anybody else's podcast because I already do ours and mine, and that's all I wanted. He can test me, too.

[Bobby Lee]

Me, too.

[Andrew Santino]

No, that's a lie. You do all that. You do all the time.

[Bobby Lee]

I have. I've been slowing down. I mean, look at me today. I was all over the.

[Andrew Santino]

But ask these guys. Ask these guys. That true? Do I do other shows?

[Bobby Lee]

Well, you're starting a new one right now.

[Andrew Santino]

No, My own. Yeah, yeah. No. But do I do other people?

[Howie Mandel]

You're not doing.

[Bobby Lee]

You're getting rid of whiskey.

[Howie Mandel]

Whiskey.

[Andrew Santino]

I probably get a whiskey. Whiskey's gonna be around for a little bit. But I have to do the golf show. Is. It's a show. It's a podcast, but it's a web.

[Howie Mandel]

Show, so why won't you do mine?

[Bobby Lee]

I'm gonna do one, two, though, and I want to do my Star Trek.

[Howie Mandel]

Andrew, you didn't say that.

[Andrew Santino]

You're more than welcome. Okay, I. Dude, honestly, I'd love to.

[Howie Mandel]

Fold this podcast, so why not?

[Bobby Lee]

Oh, forever.

[Andrew Santino]

No, no. This thing is done.

[Bobby Lee]

I won't do it. Then you can do yours. Do everything you want.

[Howie Mandel]

But Andrew, fans.

[Andrew Santino]

I'm sure the fans would like that, though.

[Howie Mandel]

But you won't. So that you won't.

[Andrew Santino]

But it's two good organizers, you and Adam. Just two, like, guys that'll.

[Howie Mandel]

You said, I will in July when I'm back.

[Andrew Santino]

What is that you said?

[Howie Mandel]

I said. I said, you want to do the tour? You said, I will soon. Then I said, okay, give me a month or times. And you go, I will in July when I'm back from tour. And then I read. Are you ready for podcast? Hey, brother, I shall in a bit. We're playing catch up on our two shows. But I will.

[Andrew Santino]

True. I will.

[Howie Mandel]

And then I come here and say, so you ready? You go. I don't do podcasts.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah, sometimes he has to direct.

[Howie Mandel]

I don't after a lot of me. Wrong.

[Andrew Santino]

I'm texting.

[Howie Mandel]

I just got a dm. It says I don't do podcast. So anyway, I gotta tell you all. Kidding.

[Bobby Lee]

I love you.

[Howie Mandel]

I love you. I love you. I think you're really funny.

[Andrew Santino]

Love you.

[Howie Mandel]

I watch everything you do. You're also really. Both of you really good actors.

[Andrew Santino]

No, no, no, no.

[Bobby Lee]

He's better. He's a better actor.

[Howie Mandel]

You got to potty train yourself, young lady, and then you'll be somebody I'll appreciate.

[Jules]

Okay.

[Howie Mandel]

Okay. No, I'm serious. You got to stop pooping.

[Jules]

It's just sometimes.

[Howie Mandel]

Yeah, but there should be no time.

[Bobby Lee]

Is it weird that Howie Mendel sitting next to you, or.

[Jules]

No, no.

[Bobby Lee]

Okay.

[Howie Mandel]

She's used to it. You're used to it, right?

[Bobby Lee]

Because my assistant, you know, my assistant Melanie.

[Howie Mandel]

I know.

[Bobby Lee]

The first time you called her. Yeah, she called me. Freaking the out.

[Howie Mandel]

Yeah. But this girl.

[Bobby Lee]

What the. Howie Mandel just called me.

[Howie Mandel]

And do you not remember? You got remember. And do you remember when I came and did your show and she sat right beside me?

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah.

[Howie Mandel]

And you said, do you know who he is?

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah.

[Howie Mandel]

And what did she say?

[Jules]

No, no.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Howie Mandel]

And I spent the next 20 minutes explaining deal or no deal to you.

[Bobby Lee]

That's right. Yeah, I remember.

[Andrew Santino]

And at the end of it, she was like, no deal, Howie, can you.

[Bobby Lee]

Look in the camera and go, thank you for being a bad friend.

[Howie Mandel]

Thank you for being a bad friend.

[Andrew Santino]

I knew the whistle was coming.

[Bobby Lee]

D.