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Bobby Lee
Hey, everybody. My best friend in the whole world, the funniest comic in the world, is playing San Diego in Del Mar.
Andrew Santino
Del Mar, dude.
Bobby Lee
And go see his show, man. It's amazing.
Andrew Santino
June 20th, I'm doing two shows at the Sound in Del Mar. It's new. It's a newer venue. It looks amazing. Doing two shows. Early show and a late show.
Bobby Lee
Come down to the sound.
Andrew Santino
Come on to the Sound. Go to andrew santino.com for the tickets. Andrew santino.com hey. Oh. Oh, we have.
Bobby Lee
Dude, we're so excited.
Andrew Santino
We are.
Bobby Lee
Yeah. Because we created our own game show. It's called the Bad Game Show.
Andrew Santino
Bad Game Show. It airs every single Wednesday, Wednesday right here on our channel, the Bad Friends podcast channel. Starting this Wednesday.
Bobby Lee
Starting this Wednesday.
Andrew Santino
For 10 weeks.
Bobby Lee
For 10 week. We did 10 episodes, and they're all strong, phenomenal guests.
Andrew Santino
Watch it every Wednesday.
Bobby Lee
Watch it every Wednesday, please.
Riley
You two are bad Friends.
Bobby Lee
Who are these two idiots?
Riley
White dude and an Asian dude. You two are disgusting.
Bobby Lee
Oh, you two are something.
Andrew Santino
We're bad Friends. Hi.
Bobby Lee
Hi, friends.
Andrew Santino
I am Andres.
Bobby Lee
I am Andres.
Andrew Santino
This is. My students are here.
Bobby Lee
Today I teach film.
Andrew Santino
Film. That's Filipino film. We will do movie films.
Bobby Lee
Yeah.
Andrew Santino
I gotta tell you, fancy. I feel good in your. In your. In your style.
Bobby Lee
Your style. You feel. Yeah. Handsomer.
Andrew Santino
Handsomer. You feel handsomer.
Bobby Lee
Yeah.
Andrew Santino
Welcome back to Bad Friends. Today we've got a. A ton of interns. A ton of interns.
Bobby Lee
It's so itchy. I like how do you do this all day long with the itchy hair?
Andrew Santino
We've got Quinnipiac interns are here once again making their return to the show.
Bobby Lee
Yeah. And they're here to watch magic. Magic. Pure magic. Yeah. It's good to see you, Andres. Thank you. Yeah.
Andrew Santino
And I'm very hungover right now.
Bobby Lee
You drank last night.
Andrew Santino
Got the case of the Irish flu, baby.
Bobby Lee
Where'd you go last night?
Andrew Santino
To the Doyers. I want to go see the Doyers play.
Bobby Lee
Oh.
Andrew Santino
The amount of Japanese people because of sh. It's crazy. The half of the words at the stadium now are in Japanese. What's next? What are they going to do to my America next? You were serving kimchi with the hot dogs.
Bobby Lee
You think sh could have played during the 40s?
Andrew Santino
Prohibition.
Bobby Lee
The 1940s. Like, two days. Would they sign him two days after Pearl harbor, you think? I mean, he's good, right? But they're angry.
Andrew Santino
We're hitting bombs all over the world. The guy is amazing.
Bobby Lee
He's amazing.
Andrew Santino
He's so good to Watch.
Bobby Lee
He's also tall, handsome.
Andrew Santino
This guy's so handsome.
Bobby Lee
Yeah. He's a cutie ball.
Andrew Santino
All right. And this guy's slotted to make.
Bobby Lee
I mean, he's cute.
Andrew Santino
He's very cute.
Bobby Lee
He's Astro Boy. He's Astro Boy. He's Astro Boy, dude.
Andrew Santino
He is.
Bobby Lee
Yeah, yeah, it's me. Yeah.
Andrew Santino
Look at how, dude.
Bobby Lee
He's Astro Boy, dude. Yeah. Whoa.
Andrew Santino
He's got all of his vision now,
Bobby Lee
so I can see everything, dude. You know, I was driving, so I. I just got glasses for the first time in my life. Yeah. And I was driving through Lancashire by Universal. Right. And you know, you. When you're driving down that to go to Lankersham, you see the Universal City Park. Yeah, but I never saw the rides.
Andrew Santino
You just saw a bunch of blobs.
Bobby Lee
I just saw a blur.
Andrew Santino
Wow.
Bobby Lee
And I was driving today. I was going. Oh, they have rides. Like. You could see the roller coasters and stuff. Yeah, yeah, I could. I could never see them.
Andrew Santino
It's crazy.
Bobby Lee
Yeah.
Andrew Santino
Seen any of that? Yeah, they have a new roller coaster. It's the Fast and Furious.
Bobby Lee
Yeah.
Andrew Santino
Vin Diesel is going to bless it. Yeah, they are.
Bobby Lee
And I wore glasses. I realized that my girlfriend's white. I thought she was black the whole time. Yeah, yeah. No, I'm kidding. There it is. Yeah.
Andrew Santino
They're festive with the family.
Bobby Lee
Have you ever been there? I've never been there all day.
Andrew Santino
Yeah, I have once.
Bobby Lee
What?
Jacob
Yeah. You.
Bobby Lee
You did? Ch.
Andrew Santino
You bailed? Yeah. We went to Halloween Horror Nights and you bailed.
Bobby Lee
I only went when in the front when Adam Murray used to play Wolverine. Oh, yeah. Oh, my God.
Andrew Santino
He went when he was working there.
Bobby Lee
Yeah, yeah. So. So he had the claws. He was walking around. Yeah. I had to throw pennies at him. That's. No, I did. To see if he can fling him with his plastic.
Andrew Santino
See if he could hit him.
Bobby Lee
Yeah, yeah, yeah. But he picked him up because he's a Jew. But anyway, guys, I think you.
Andrew Santino
You're. You look vibrant.
Bobby Lee
What do you mean?
Andrew Santino
Because your glasses, I think, are empowering you. I can now you can see, Feel more. You feel more up.
Bobby Lee
Well, there's trees in my backyard. I didn't realize. I mean, beyond the fence, it was just a blur. Right?
Andrew Santino
Dude, the way you see the world. And how do you do? How did you drive for all these years?
Bobby Lee
Instinct.
Andrew Santino
Just feel.
Bobby Lee
No, you. You can see lights, so it's instinct. You can't see the lines on the ground.
Jacob
That's why his car has all these.
Andrew Santino
I was going to Say he's never going to have a ding on his car ever again.
Bobby Lee
Ever again. So it's instinct. It's like, I assume it's a vibe. I'm on Ventura. It's a lot of assumptions and. Yeah. And stuff like that. Yeah. I mean, I kind of know how to get to my house and how to get to the Comedy Store. It's.
Andrew Santino
It's like three roads. Literally, like, from here to your house is like three main roads.
Bobby Lee
It's three main roads. So it's. I memorize that.
Andrew Santino
So easy.
Bobby Lee
Yeah. But Mulholland is a windy, treacherous road.
Andrew Santino
It can be, but there's two ways to get to your house. Three ways to get to your.
Bobby Lee
There is three ways to get to my house. Yeah.
Andrew Santino
And to the store.
Bobby Lee
And then all three ways and the
Andrew Santino
store is two roads.
Bobby Lee
It really is. Literally, it's two rows to get to my house. Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Dude, it's so easy. But they're both. I mean, one of them is long, which is over a hill.
Andrew Santino
It's a hit.
Bobby Lee
Long. Yeah. Yeah. It's a long hill. Long. Yeah. But I can see things that I've never been able to see.
Andrew Santino
I can see things I could not see before. Was that.
Bobby Lee
I'm so in tune with you sometimes.
Andrew Santino
You were really?
Bobby Lee
Yeah. I went right into it.
Andrew Santino
I knew because when you did the Jew joke, I knew that was.
Bobby Lee
What do you mean?
Andrew Santino
When you do the Wolverine Jew joke, I was like, he's gonna say, I'm
Bobby Lee
gonna start singing a song.
Andrew Santino
Go.
Bobby Lee
I want to be a kung fu fighter.
Andrew Santino
Dude, do it again.
Bobby Lee
What?
Andrew Santino
Do it again.
Bobby Lee
Believe in me. I just picked that up.
Andrew Santino
Me, too. By the way, we even sung the song wrong.
Bobby Lee
Yeah.
Andrew Santino
And I still got it. Well, it's not. I want to be a kung fu. Everybody was Kung fu fighting.
Bobby Lee
I wanna be.
Andrew Santino
Actually, I was there.
Bobby Lee
You were still.
Andrew Santino
We're humming.
Bobby Lee
We're humming. Because we're humming.
Andrew Santino
We're humming.
Bobby Lee
I can connect to you. I've been obsessed with Comics Unleashed.
Andrew Santino
He sent me five clips.
Bobby Lee
Same. Yeah. And. And I. I've come to a conclusion.
Andrew Santino
We're living in a dystopian. No, no, no, no, no, no.
Bobby Lee
Don't say. Don't say that. We're not. We're not. We're not.
Andrew Santino
All right.
Bobby Lee
Yeah. Yeah.
Andrew Santino
It's so crazy.
Bobby Lee
It's crazy. And I. Can I just throw my.
Andrew Santino
Why can't we do it? Can you. And I do it.
Bobby Lee
Well, I pitch. So here's the deal. This is the truth. This is the truth.
Andrew Santino
There's There's Freddie Lockhart.
Bobby Lee
Yeah. Yeah. So here's the truth.
Andrew Santino
Yeah.
Bobby Lee
My manager manages the executive producer of comics on Leaf. Okay. That's not the joke. That's a joke. This makes.
Andrew Santino
It's not even so much sense.
Bobby Lee
It's not even a joke. I literally pitch.
Andrew Santino
That makes so much sense.
Bobby Lee
I literally pitch this.
Andrew Santino
What?
Bobby Lee
I go, okay, so can you book.
Andrew Santino
Of course she does. Yeah, of course.
Bobby Lee
Yeah.
Andrew Santino
Remember when she lost a lighter at dinner?
Bobby Lee
Yeah.
Andrew Santino
Do you remember this? She got a lighter from the fucking waiter. And the server was nice enough to be like, yeah, I can get a lighter from my car or whatever.
Bobby Lee
Yeah.
Andrew Santino
He gave it to her. She smokes and he comes back, he's like, can I get that lighter? She's like, I don't know where. He just gave you his lighter? All right, what happened?
Bobby Lee
So I pitched to the next day. So one night I couldn't sleep because I just kept watching, you know, clips
Andrew Santino
of comics on comics on lid.
Bobby Lee
I was obsessed with it.
Andrew Santino
It's so weird.
Bobby Lee
It's so weird. So the next day I called my manager and I go, you know, you. I know the executive producer you rep, Right. Because she's this person used to open for me. Yeah. So I pitched her this. Andrew, me, Tim Dillon, and Bert Kreischer. That's a pretty good pitch on a Comics unleashed.
Andrew Santino
Yeah.
Bobby Lee
And so I know that before you go, Byron wants to know what your question is. Right. So that he wants to know your
Andrew Santino
joke so he can.
Bobby Lee
So, so he can lay you up.
Andrew Santino
Yeah.
Bobby Lee
Give you, like, you know, I mean, I heard you got a new washing machine or what.
Andrew Santino
Tell you something about the way these be shaking.
Bobby Lee
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Andrew Santino
My watch. I sit on that thing if I haven't gone to the bathroom in a few days to shake you right up. That's basically what it is.
Bobby Lee
So this is what. So this is. I literally pitched this to Abby. I want this to happen. All right?
Andrew Santino
Me, you, Tim Dylan and who?
Bobby Lee
And Per Kreischer. Kreischer or somebody. You know, I think.
Andrew Santino
I think Donnell Rawlings would be Donnell. He would get so pissed at us.
Bobby Lee
Yeah, yeah. So this is what we would do. Okay, so this is my pitch. All right. Before the show, you know, you. You have to tell them what the setups are.
Andrew Santino
I already know what you're doing.
Bobby Lee
I know.
Andrew Santino
We're going to swap jokes.
Bobby Lee
No, we're not even do the jokes at all.
Andrew Santino
Okay.
Bobby Lee
So he's going to go, oh, talk about your dad. You know, I mean, I'm going to go, there's a genocide in Kaza. All right? We don't answer any of the questions, they'll never air. And at one point, I do a narcolyptic fit and I pass out. Right, right. And the YouTube, Byron Allen, right? He just let him be. Yeah, he just does this. I lay on the ground for the whole show.
Andrew Santino
The rest of the show.
Bobby Lee
The rest of the show.
Andrew Santino
We have to do the show.
Bobby Lee
But. But I come back alive.
Andrew Santino
What's the key word that brings you?
Bobby Lee
And I want him to go off on some sort of Israel rant or he has a rant on politics.
Andrew Santino
Sure, yeah.
Bobby Lee
I mean, yeah. Like, I heard you from the east coast and him going on some rant,
Andrew Santino
he's like, well, the way that we're desecrating the world. Yeah, he's the best.
Bobby Lee
So then what happens? I wake up, right? And I go, do you want to see my dog? Yeah. Yeah. So I have a dog named Julio who no one can see, Right? He's a rabid.
Andrew Santino
He's a rabid.
Bobby Lee
Yeah. So we have Hulu in his mask. You bring out Honey Jules's mom in a dominatrix outfit with.
Andrew Santino
Was this a fever dream?
Bobby Lee
No, no, no, no.
Andrew Santino
It's what I pitched, okay.
Bobby Lee
It's what I. Fudgeing pitch, right? And hula go. And she's coming out with it, right?
Andrew Santino
Insane.
Bobby Lee
Like, Byron has no idea what' go. Yeah.
Andrew Santino
So pissed.
Bobby Lee
Yeah. You think he'd be pissed?
Andrew Santino
Yeah, dude, the guy who owns the weather Channel.
Bobby Lee
Yeah.
Andrew Santino
He'll be mad.
Bobby Lee
Yeah. But it be must. It would be the greatest rated show that they'd ever have.
Andrew Santino
I just don't think he though. They won't air it unaired. They won't air it.
Bobby Lee
Why? Doesn't fit the brand. It doesn't fit the brand. Okay. I'm just saying I want it to happen.
Andrew Santino
I'm in.
Bobby Lee
Yeah.
Andrew Santino
I'm in.
Bobby Lee
Yeah. If. He said if. Byron, if you're listening, you. I know you. Okay.
Andrew Santino
He's not listening.
Bobby Lee
Okay. It'll get there, okay? It'll. I could call and get it to him.
Andrew Santino
Call him right now.
Bobby Lee
I don't. I don't have his number, but I know the executive producer's number.
Andrew Santino
Okay.
Bobby Lee
Okay. So I. I have like one.
Andrew Santino
What did the EP say when you pitch this?
Bobby Lee
She. My manager stopped it right there. And she goes, that's never going to happen.
Andrew Santino
She's wrong. We'll make it happen.
Bobby Lee
Okay, so how about this?
Andrew Santino
If we can make this, we make
Bobby Lee
it a fever dream.
Andrew Santino
Yeah.
Bobby Lee
You know, I mean, where it's like what is the. Is going on here?
Andrew Santino
If we make this happen. You okay? If I can make this happen.
Bobby Lee
Yeah.
Andrew Santino
Get us on there.
Bobby Lee
Yeah.
Andrew Santino
Then you have to fire your manager.
Bobby Lee
She's one that got us on.
Andrew Santino
No, you just said she cut you off. She said it's not going to happen.
Bobby Lee
Yeah, I'm going to. How are you going to make it happen?
Andrew Santino
Don't worry about it.
Bobby Lee
Really.
Andrew Santino
I'm going to make it happen.
Bobby Lee
So we can make it a fever dream where we don't answer any of the questions. Right, Right. We make it as chaotic as possible. Right. We're wearing funny outfits.
Andrew Santino
It's fine.
Bobby Lee
Right.
Andrew Santino
How many times have you done Comics Unleashed?
Bobby Lee
None.
Andrew Santino
I can't believe you. And I never did that. Our whole.
Bobby Lee
I did. Okay here. I did one Byron Allen thing. Funny that you.
Andrew Santino
Funny you should ask.
Bobby Lee
You should ask.
Andrew Santino
That's a popular game show.
Bobby Lee
Yeah. So I did that. I did two episodes and they never asked me back too good. Yeah, they never asked me back.
Andrew Santino
Funny you should ask. Featuring Louis Anderson.
Bobby Lee
Good lineup, though.
Andrew Santino
Sherry Shepherd, Tim Meadows, Caroline Ray, John Lovitz and Bobby Lee Louie Anderson. Yeah. I said Louis Louie.
Bobby Lee
Yeah. Yeah. So if you see the lineup on that, you're like, okay, I'll do it.
Andrew Santino
Yeah. I think you told me you were gonna do this.
Bobby Lee
Yeah.
Andrew Santino
And I told you not to do it.
Bobby Lee
Yeah. Ye.
Andrew Santino
No, that's.
Bobby Lee
Yeah. Yeah. So I did two episodes. They never asked me back. Yeah. And they said I. I think I even asked, like, can I come back? And they're like, oh, it's scheduling.
Andrew Santino
Scheduling.
Bobby Lee
I think I was just off putting or something. Yeah, yeah. Like, I just didn't fit the.
Andrew Santino
You should get back on pudding.
Bobby Lee
Yeah. Great.
Andrew Santino
When you're on pudding.
Bobby Lee
I mean, have you done any Byron Elves, bro?
Andrew Santino
You know, I've only done. I've only done Conan. That's. Oh, I did. I'm sorry. I did. The only other thing I did was dude, what's his name? No, I never did stand up on Kimmel. I just did Conan and then I did Not Craig Kilborn. What was the other one I did? No, I did Ferguson. I think I did Ferguson. Yeah.
Bobby Lee
I only did. You don't go to Nitro.
Andrew Santino
But Ferguson taped at the Ice House. So you don't go to the studio.
Bobby Lee
Yeah.
Andrew Santino
Filmed at the Ice House. And they cut to a clip.
Bobby Lee
Yeah.
Andrew Santino
Which is crazy.
Bobby Lee
Which is still cooler.
Andrew Santino
It's cool. But you don't.
Bobby Lee
Yeah.
Andrew Santino
You don't have to do it live.
Bobby Lee
Yeah, yeah.
Andrew Santino
It's a pre tape. No, I never did anything And I never got offers to do those other things, I guess. Or I just never. It never.
Bobby Lee
I'm. I'm 100 guaranteed. Because there's a guy at the Comedy Store, his name is Eric. Do you know him?
Andrew Santino
I mean, that's a lot of guys named Eric.
Bobby Lee
I know, but he's an older guy and he's Byron Allen's right hand man. So he hangs at the store. We're doing it again, dude. We're in sync, dude. We're in sync today. Okay, so they do hoocha. Yeah, yeah. At the end. Yeah, they do something and they're dancing.
Andrew Santino
Fancy's loving it.
Bobby Lee
Yeah. When they're dancing, it's a beautiful sequence.
Andrew Santino
Beautiful.
Bobby Lee
Yeah.
Andrew Santino
And the chair. You're on a chair.
Bobby Lee
You're. Yeah, sometimes you're on a chair lift.
Andrew Santino
You on a chair.
Bobby Lee
Yeah.
Andrew Santino
Well, let me ask you this, though.
Bobby Lee
Go ahead.
Andrew Santino
Do you care that Colbert's gone and here. And the reason I ask is because you never watched. This is my problem. When people go, this is my same theory about like the Brooklyn Dodgers come to Los Angeles. Brooklyn's mad, right? Brooklyn's angry about that. And their response was, you didn't fucking come to the games. You like, you were barely a fan. And there was a better business opportunity out. Out west. So you can't. When something's gone, you can't then go, well, I'm mad. It's gone. I never supported it. I'm not saying him, I like him, he's funny. But I'm also like, yeah, but I don't like late 90s.
Bobby Lee
Yeah, but, but who's watching? I think your point is, is that I don't watch late night. But you know, I am on TikTok and I watch his monologues.
Andrew Santino
I just don't care.
Bobby Lee
And I think they're great.
Andrew Santino
That's your age, though.
Bobby Lee
I don't think young people.
Andrew Santino
Yeah, that's okay.
Bobby Lee
And then that guys, that's. And I accept that mid.
Andrew Santino
Guys in their mid-50s and up, they still watch it.
Bobby Lee
I'll just watch a clip.
Andrew Santino
But most of those guys are dead.
Bobby Lee
You watch Bill Moore. Yeah, that's true. Yeah. Yeah.
Andrew Santino
But would you watch Bill's show or the podcast?
Bobby Lee
No, I watch it on Friday night.
Andrew Santino
You really do?
Bobby Lee
He does.
Andrew Santino
I don't watch any.
Bobby Lee
You can't wait to. After Letterman, Bill Mars on I gotta go watch it. Oh, I tell everyone. He tells.
Andrew Santino
After Letterman left, I. I said after Conan left. Really? I was like, goodbye, I don't want to do late night anymore. I just didn't care anymore.
Bobby Lee
Yeah, they.
Andrew Santino
Conan and Letterman were the.
Bobby Lee
Let's just focus on getting on comics unleashed here.
Andrew Santino
I don't think we're gonna have a problem.
Bobby Lee
Yeah, let's get our ball. Let's watch the ball.
Andrew Santino
We have our ball.
Bobby Lee
All right, so here's the thing.
Andrew Santino
We're gonna get on if you want to get on.
Bobby Lee
Yeah. Yeah.
Andrew Santino
How about this?
Bobby Lee
Make it. Make it.
Andrew Santino
I'll make you a deal.
Bobby Lee
Yeah.
Andrew Santino
I would rather be on the Weather Channel.
Bobby Lee
Really? Yeah. You'd rather be the Weather Channel?
Andrew Santino
I would love to do a second.
Bobby Lee
You won't have us on that.
Andrew Santino
Let us do a segment on the Weather Channel by.
Bobby Lee
I can do super El Nino. I'm gonna Super El Nino. You could do that.
Andrew Santino
And I'm Hurricane Maria.
Bobby Lee
Yeah.
Andrew Santino
Hurricane Maria.
Bobby Lee
Yeah.
Andrew Santino
Come over here. I'm going to get you it.
Bobby Lee
Yeah. Cuz Super. Super El Nino is coming.
Andrew Santino
Is it?
Bobby Lee
You don't know that.
Andrew Santino
Super El Nino.
Bobby Lee
54 now. What?
Andrew Santino
He's 54 years old. Super El Nino.
Bobby Lee
You called meo.
Andrew Santino
Wait, is it really coming?
Bobby Lee
Yeah, and it doesn't happen often. I think this is going to be the biggest super alunion we've ever seen. I think 200 years. Years.
Andrew Santino
When is it coming?
Bobby Lee
This summer.
Andrew Santino
Who's releasing this? Marvel.
Bobby Lee
Marvel. Oh God. You beat me to the joke. I like it. Damn it. That was fat.
Andrew Santino
Super El Nino this summer. A rare super El Nino is expected to develop by fall, peaking in strength during the winter of 2026 into 2027. Forecasters at NOAA's Climate Prediction center estimate 2 in 3 chance that this event will become historically intense.
Bobby Lee
Yeah.
Andrew Santino
Get fucked. What's it gonna be? A lot a rain.
Bobby Lee
It's gonna be rain every day for like two months.
Andrew Santino
So what?
Bobby Lee
I know, but I have, I have
Andrew Santino
a. I have a patio open. Open the floodgate.
Bobby Lee
And I'm. I'm. I'm spending money on unclogging.
Andrew Santino
I got you clogging.
Bobby Lee
Yeah. Because I'm getting prepared for super.
Andrew Santino
For la.
Bobby Lee
Yeah. And LA is going to be super hot.
Andrew Santino
Super El Nino defined by shifts the jetstream to funnel active moisture laden storms directly into Southern California. Why can't they. You know how they do cloud seeding where they make rain? Why don't we do the opposite? What's, what's cloud stopping? How do they do that to make it not rain? If they can make it rain, make it not rain.
Bobby Lee
It's called a house. What are you talking about?
Andrew Santino
No, they cloud seed. They literally put seeds in the cloud.
Bobby Lee
Stay inside.
Andrew Santino
No. Well, it's gonna, it's gonna up everything though. That because we don't handle rain, our infrastructure is not good for rain.
Bobby Lee
Yeah.
Andrew Santino
There are opposing techniques.
Bobby Lee
It says.
Andrew Santino
Yeah, thank you very much.
Dr. Deutsch
So.
Andrew Santino
I'm not a idiot. Overseeding involves intentionally injecting excess amount of. Of of ice nucleating particles, silver iodine into a cloud. Because there's too many particles competing for a limited on moisture creates millions of microscopic water droplets too small and too tight to fall as rain, effectively depressing the. Dispersing the cloud. That's amazing.
Bobby Lee
What does that do though? Makes the cloud just kind of. I understand that, but are there consequences of doing that?
Andrew Santino
Of course there are, but we don't have to deal with that. The next generation does.
Bobby Lee
Oh, I see, I see.
Andrew Santino
And by the way.
Bobby Lee
Yeah.
Andrew Santino
I know we joked for years and said they could control the weather, but I guess they can.
Bobby Lee
Yeah, I think they can. Yeah. No, no, no, no, no, no.
Andrew Santino
Why? Oh my God. Can you help me finish a joke?
Bobby Lee
Go ahead.
Andrew Santino
I was at the airport and there are these two like very funny, well dressed, flamboyant gay guys, like, and they're running around like, I mean, like just making a scene like in their sprinting around like, hey, no, get over here. And they have obviously they have a
Bobby Lee
son that is biologically their.
Andrew Santino
Their son.
Dr. Deutsch
Yes.
Andrew Santino
And. And it's like, obviously it's like they turn around and then he's running away again, full speed.
Bobby Lee
Wait, wait, he's running away from them?
Andrew Santino
Yeah, he's like, he's like, he's a kid running through the airport and, and they're trying to stop him. But it's like my generation, you know, my dad was. Would grab you by your neck.
Bobby Lee
Yeah, yeah.
Andrew Santino
They're like, get, like, stop it. Get over here. Yeah, whatever his name was.
Bobby Lee
And the kid and the little kids wearing a MAGA hat.
Andrew Santino
He was, he had his Trump shoes on.
Bobby Lee
Yeah, yeah.
Andrew Santino
But I looked at him and running from everybody when I saw him. Red hair. He was a redhead.
Bobby Lee
Oh, no. What does that mean?
Andrew Santino
I just, I just, I thought what's the opposite of a head start in life, Right? Two gay dads, redhead.
Bobby Lee
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Andrew Santino
That's a tough.
Bobby Lee
That's a tough.
Andrew Santino
He goes to elementary school.
Bobby Lee
Yeah.
Andrew Santino
Which one of your dads is picking you up today, Fire crotch? I mean, that kid.
Bobby Lee
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Andrew Santino
Lit up.
Bobby Lee
Yeah. But he's going to turn out to be a great standup comedian.
Andrew Santino
There, you finish the joke.
Bobby Lee
Yeah, that's it. You think so?
Andrew Santino
He ended up being a great standing comic.
Bobby Lee
Yeah. I mean, because it's like my two dads. I mean, you had two dads.
Andrew Santino
Yeah, and they were both gay.
Bobby Lee
Yeah, but you struggled, you know, you did not.
Andrew Santino
Not. Yeah. No, not like you were in poverty
Bobby Lee
when your mom was single.
Andrew Santino
I grew up in the ghetto.
Bobby Lee
Yeah.
Andrew Santino
No, I didn't grow up in the
Bobby Lee
ghetto, dude, but in projects.
Andrew Santino
We didn't grow up in the project.
Bobby Lee
That's the story I've been telling people. You know what's strange? When I take these off now, everything's a blur.
Andrew Santino
Asian.
Bobby Lee
That's normal. That's how it works.
Jacob
That's how it works.
Bobby Lee
But if I take it off, will it go back to what it was or.
Andrew Santino
No, Brother, what are you talking about? You're. You're doing what it was. This is what it was.
Bobby Lee
What I'm saying is, look at this.
Andrew Santino
What it was. It goes on.
Bobby Lee
No, no, no. Put it.
Andrew Santino
What it was. Put it on real fast. Okay. What it was. Put it on.
Bobby Lee
Yeah. What it is.
Andrew Santino
What it is.
Bobby Lee
Yes.
Andrew Santino
Hey, hey, hey.
Bobby Lee
Yeah.
Andrew Santino
Take it off.
Bobby Lee
Yeah.
Andrew Santino
And what it will be.
Bobby Lee
Oh. What do you mean by that? Yeah. Remember how all those hot girls smile at you all the time? You'll see the difference. Now.
Andrew Santino
They were frowning. Bobby thought they were saying hi, and they were just saying, help. Help.
Bobby Lee
Dude. Dude. That was good. That was good. That was good.
Andrew Santino
Can I.
Bobby Lee
But that opens the ward to war. Yeah. Yeah.
Andrew Santino
War is on.
Bobby Lee
No cd. I have to be honest with you. I have ocd.
Andrew Santino
Guess who else does.
Bobby Lee
Yeah.
Andrew Santino
Me.
Bobby Lee
Intrusive thoughts. You think something's bad's gonna happen.
Andrew Santino
It's constant. It's all the time. It's thoughts. It's swirling. It'. Brain tornado.
Bobby Lee
Yeah.
Andrew Santino
It's persistent, unwanted, intrusive, distressing. Thoughts often get stuck in your mind. And over and over and over, they try to latch onto things you care about the most, which can bring you a lot of guilt and shame. And you feel driven to certain behaviors because you want to make those thoughts out.
Bobby Lee
But OCD is one of the most treatable mental health conditions out there if you get the right kind of specialized therapy. OCD needs exposure and response prevention, which is proven to be the most effective treatment.
Andrew Santino
That's why we want to tell you guys about no cd. It's something that they can help with. NOCD is the world's leading treatment provider for ocd. All their licensed therapists specialize in ERP therapy, exposure and response prevention, and it's often improperly treated. But no CD therapists go through extensive training led by experts in OCD so if you need it, therapy with no CD is 100 virtual and covered by insurance for over 138 million Americans. It also includes support between sessions so you never have to face OCD alone.
Bobby Lee
To learn more about starting OCD therapy with no CD, go to the nocd.com
Andrew Santino
friends and book a free call with their team.
Bobby Lee
That's nocd.com friends.
Andrew Santino
That's nd.com friends. Mountain Do.
Bobby Lee
The D do. The do.
Andrew Santino
Leading up to America's 250th birthday.
Bobby Lee
Happy birthday, America.
Andrew Santino
We've had some great American summers, and almost all of them have included some do. A dog and a do. That's what I say. What are you doing? I said dog and a do.
Bobby Lee
It's an American original Mountain Dew.
Andrew Santino
Born in the foothills of Tennessee where my dad went to college. And by the way, the 4th of July is coming and it's about to be the best ever because Bobby and I are going to be doing the Deuce, have some dogs and do. And I want to make a shirt that says dogs and do. Can we sell?
Bobby Lee
We can do. Yeah. 1948 since Mountain Dew. And let me tell you something about it. When you look at me right now, guy. Yeah. When you drink a Mountain Dew, there's never. You're never going, what kind of beverage is this that you. It's a specific taste.
Andrew Santino
Mountain Dew.
Bobby Lee
The classic American taste.
Andrew Santino
It's proud American roots. Okay. Two brothers created it deep in the foothills of Tennessee. Thank God they got it all over the country. It's refreshing citrus kick that also has some nice spice on the other side. Enjoy the refreshing citrus kick of Mountain Dew and American original tasting great since 48.
Bobby Lee
Look for American Dew limited time packaging to find it in stores near you@mountain Dew.com.
Andrew Santino
that's Mountain Dew.com. look for Mountain Dew in stores near you@mountain Dew.com. once again, that's Mountain Dew.com. i kind of need these. I actually think I need these.
Bobby Lee
Yeah.
Andrew Santino
Yeah. These are really good.
Bobby Lee
Yeah. But now I'm used to. Now this, which is good.
Andrew Santino
I put them on all the way. Oh, no.
Bobby Lee
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Andrew Santino
Oh. They're actually really cool glasses.
Bobby Lee
Yeah.
Andrew Santino
Who makes them?
Bobby Lee
These are Tom Ford.
Andrew Santino
Tom for.
Bobby Lee
Yeah.
Andrew Santino
Tom Ford's. Nice glasses.
Bobby Lee
Yeah. Anyway, must be nice. I want to put these on. Wow.
Andrew Santino
But just do. Why don't you just do contacts?
Bobby Lee
Well, I was thinking about lasik, but they're saying that I'm going to need reading glasses if I get lasik.
Andrew Santino
Everybody gets readers, though. I think that's the most common. I think people just get readers if you read.
Bobby Lee
I don't. I've never read.
Andrew Santino
Well, yeah. Why do you need.
Bobby Lee
Oh, so lastly, tick tock.
Andrew Santino
Yeah, Tick tock.
Bobby Lee
Glasses. Yeah. So last night I saw a better. A movie better than Project Hail Mary.
Andrew Santino
What did you watch?
Bobby Lee
Obsession. So good.
Andrew Santino
Who's in it?
Bobby Lee
Nobody I've ever, ever seen. It's a. Do you see Obsession? Yeah. It's an indie horror that is gonna make $100 million with a budget under a million.
Andrew Santino
He's getting his little winner.
Bobby Lee
Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's. It's so good.
Andrew Santino
You know, the only thing bad about this story is it's going to give a lot of people hope.
Bobby Lee
Yeah. What do you mean? What do you mean by that?
Andrew Santino
Gonna give everybody hope. They're like, I can do it.
Bobby Lee
You can.
Andrew Santino
You cannot.
Bobby Lee
It's the Cinderella story. Yes.
Andrew Santino
It's an anomaly when you're watch.
Bobby Lee
Here's what you notice. You go, oh, this guy knows what he's doing.
Andrew Santino
Yeah. It's an anomaly.
Bobby Lee
Yeah. And I think that in the years of him leading up to the movie like George Miller's Mad Max Fury Road, it 30 years he thought about that movie.
Andrew Santino
30 years.
Bobby Lee
Yeah. Because since Mad Max, what's the last Mad Max before Fur D? Yeah. Thunderdome with Tina Turner. What is the year difference? 1985.
Andrew Santino
What do you mean? That's 40 years.
Bobby Lee
Yeah. So he laid down at night, he directed at when he was in it. 70. He was 70 years old when he drank, made Mad Max Fury Road. What's so funny?
Andrew Santino
It's just so funny to think so much time passed.
Bobby Lee
I know.
Andrew Santino
Like when they wrapped the film, he's like, I guess we can't wait another 40.
Bobby Lee
Yeah. They did a Fury also after that, which is pretty good.
Katie
Good.
Bobby Lee
So he sat there probably for 40 or 30 plus years just in a tub and just thinking about the next movie that he's going to make.
Andrew Santino
You got to get out there a little bit fast.
Bobby Lee
I, I understand that, but what I'm saying. Made more movies.
Andrew Santino
What?
Bobby Lee
He made more movies. He did, but I think that he thought about Mad Max and what it's going to look like and scenes in his head.
Andrew Santino
And you've been thinking about comics unleashed for 40 years.
Bobby Lee
Yeah.
Andrew Santino
We got to get you on. We got to get on.
Bobby Lee
We got to get on the show. Yeah, yeah, it's good.
Andrew Santino
Is it in all the theaters?
Bobby Lee
Yes, maybe. I saw it in North Hollywood Regal and this. Oh God.
Andrew Santino
You went to the no home rig.
Bobby Lee
I know this fat Mexican man. Next to me. Right.
Andrew Santino
Here it goes.
Bobby Lee
He was drinking one of those ices.
Andrew Santino
The big ones.
Bobby Lee
Yeah, yeah, Love. And I did. He did double flavor, which is like.
Andrew Santino
No, yeah, it's. It's a risky.
Bobby Lee
It's a risky move. Right. And he was kind of fat too, right?
Andrew Santino
You mentioned that.
Bobby Lee
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Andrew Santino
When you. When you showed the size of the. I g. It away a little bit.
Bobby Lee
He also had three young kids next to him.
Andrew Santino
Oh, I got this Amber alert.
Bobby Lee
Oh, that. That.
Andrew Santino
I literally got an Amber Alert. Literally.
Bobby Lee
That. My. I had to turn my phone off during the movie. During the Amber Alert.
Andrew Santino
Imagine it's him watching that movie.
Bobby Lee
Wow.
Andrew Santino
He's kidnapping kids just to go watch movies with.
Bobby Lee
And they were young kids, and there's, like, sex scenes that. It's crazy, but is there sex scenes in it? Yeah.
Andrew Santino
And how young are the kids?
Bobby Lee
10.
Andrew Santino
It's a rated R film.
Bobby Lee
Yeah. It's. It's not for kids. It's not for kids. It's violent. It's crazy.
Andrew Santino
So Mr. Icy brought his kids.
Bobby Lee
Yeah.
Andrew Santino
Stolen kids.
Bobby Lee
And so he was drinking his Icy. This. The large kind. Like, this is literally this big. I'm not even. There's no. I'm not being hyperbolic. It was, like, this big.
Andrew Santino
Can I pause you for two seconds?
Bobby Lee
Yeah.
Andrew Santino
Did he say anything to you?
Bobby Lee
No.
Andrew Santino
About being like, hey, I know who you are as a fan.
Bobby Lee
No.
Andrew Santino
Okay, good.
Bobby Lee
Go.
Andrew Santino
I was gonna be like, that'll be a big bummer if we're talking about him.
Bobby Lee
And he was like, no, no, no, no, no. He doesn't know. Yeah, yeah. He didn't look at me or anything.
Andrew Santino
Okay.
Bobby Lee
You could tell. And he. He got to the bottom of the icy. Yeah. And he was doing that the whole time to get every little bit of thing. And if you ever been to that theater, the seats vibrate You. I went once at the 4x.
Andrew Santino
Is what. Me no go back.
Bobby Lee
Me no go back.
Andrew Santino
Yeah. But I went, yeah, yeah, the seats vibrate.
Bobby Lee
The seats vibrate. There's other special. Right. But it.
Andrew Santino
His slurping was louder than the vibrating seats.
Bobby Lee
Louder than the vibrating seats. And all the other things that happen in that. In that theater, like wind and stuff. Also, I had my jewel out, Right. And there was so much wind coming through the chair that it went. It won't explode. It almost exploded into my. But my point is, is that it kind of ruined. And also, we were in the last, like, second to last seat, and I couldn't read anything.
Andrew Santino
Well, did you not bring your glasses?
Bobby Lee
I got the glasses an Hour before I came here.
Andrew Santino
Oh, you did?
Bobby Lee
Yeah.
Andrew Santino
Well, you got to go back.
Bobby Lee
I gotta go watch the movie. Because. So then I had to whisper to my girlfriend. I go, what does that text say? You know, I mean, and then I got Slurpee. And then he starts coughing and then he was crunching on something. That was so allowed. It was. Did you say enough foreign language? Yeah.
Andrew Santino
What did the text say? The guy next to him is like this foreigner, speaks good English. What does this say?
Bobby Lee
No. On the screen. That. You know. I mean. Yeah, like somebody texting on. In the movie. In the movie they're texting and you have to read it.
Andrew Santino
You're telling me this is going to make a hundred million dollars?
Bobby Lee
It's that good.
Andrew Santino
What was the budget? $10 million.
Bobby Lee
Less than 1. Less than 1 million.
Andrew Santino
Indie horror film possession gross. An estimated 75 to 80 million worldwide. Oh, my God.
Bobby Lee
I know.
Andrew Santino
Oh, my God, it's so good. Who's the distributor?
Bobby Lee
Blumhouse. Oh, yeah.
Andrew Santino
That's right. Another win for Blumhouse.
Bobby Lee
Yeah.
Andrew Santino
They literally hit home runs like this all the time. This is what they do.
Bobby Lee
Yeah.
Andrew Santino
I mean, didn't they?
Bobby Lee
They Get Out. Get Out.
Andrew Santino
But, but, I mean. But get out was an expensive film, no? A million, was it?
Bobby Lee
Yep.
Andrew Santino
That was only a million bucks.
Bobby Lee
Yeah. Then that's why they gave Jordan a car. Yep.
Andrew Santino
Well, more than a car.
Bobby Lee
No, no, he got the money and all that stuff and residuals or whatever. What kind of car?
Andrew Santino
What kind of car?
Bobby Lee
They got him on a really nice car. Car. He got a career.
Andrew Santino
Yeah, he got. He got a career. He had a career. He was on a hit sketch show.
Bobby Lee
Funniest guys on Planet Earth.
Andrew Santino
If you better watch your mouth. The way you talk about Jordan.
Bobby Lee
Yeah, clearly his career got better from Mad TV once he made get out.
Andrew Santino
Obviously. Damn, dude. A little bit of spicy attitude coming out of Carlos. No, no, leave him on.
Bobby Lee
I don't know. I gotta take my glasses off for this one. Yeah, yeah, yeah. There's too much heat coming from this side.
Andrew Santino
Well, we had two trials back to back.
Bobby Lee
Yeah, yeah. No more trials because we haven't got on the road yet.
Andrew Santino
Oh, it's coming.
Bobby Lee
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Andrew Santino
Nuremberg.
Bobby Lee
What? So listen, have you ever done this before?
Andrew Santino
It's so stupid.
Bobby Lee
Yeah, it's very funny.
Andrew Santino
You're a dumb guy.
Bobby Lee
Yeah, yeah.
Andrew Santino
You know a car. I hope they never got him. Ferrari just released their new. Their new car. This. Look, I know you're not a car guy.
Bobby Lee
Never have been.
Andrew Santino
Take one look at this car and give me your first Instinct. Don't look yet. Give me your first instinct to the first word that comes out of your mouth. Go like look.
Bobby Lee
Oh, hold on. Love it. Gay.
Andrew Santino
I knew he would love it.
Bobby Lee
It's the color of his car.
Andrew Santino
No, but I just knew he'd like the style of that.
Bobby Lee
I love it.
Andrew Santino
It's Ferrari's first all electric car.
Bobby Lee
I love it. It is cool.
Andrew Santino
I bought, I bought, I bought one for the studio.
Bobby Lee
I would mad it. I would mad it.
Andrew Santino
But it looks good as a, as a die hard lover of Ferrari. Yeah, I am.
Bobby Lee
How much is that?
Andrew Santino
I'm remarkably disappointed. Sad. Yeah.
Bobby Lee
Oh really?
Andrew Santino
It's one of the most atrocious designs I think they've ever released.
Bobby Lee
I think it's the best design.
Andrew Santino
I know. I know.
Bobby Lee
Yeah.
Andrew Santino
640 000.
Bobby Lee
I can't do it.
Andrew Santino
Wait, come on. Why not?
Bobby Lee
I don't want to do it.
Andrew Santino
640 grand.
Bobby Lee
Free Hyundai.
Andrew Santino
Yeah. Free.
Bobby Lee
Yeah, yeah. That or a free Hyundai.
Andrew Santino
A lease price $7,000 a month.
Bobby Lee
That's insane.
Andrew Santino
Wait, go back to the picture though. This is genuinely one of the most upsetting and the media online is joking about it too. They're like that's a not a Ferrari.
Bobby Lee
I think it looks futuristic. Mad it'll look good.
Andrew Santino
It looks so terrible. It's so.
Bobby Lee
Is there a black one?
Andrew Santino
Yeah, there probably Triben in black.
Bobby Lee
Oh I like the yellow one.
Andrew Santino
Luche. Isn't that what it's called?
Bobby Lee
Look how cute that is.
Andrew Santino
Ferrari Luche.
Bobby Lee
Yeah, it's so cute. Yeah. I, I, I miss the bugle or whatever.
Andrew Santino
Dude. I came home last night and I was eating chips and salsa in the kitchen cuz I didn't want to wake her up. Up. I didn't want to go upstairs.
Bobby Lee
Was her your dog?
Andrew Santino
Yeah, my dog. I didn't want to wake up my wife. Well my dog wakes up whenever you open the door so I bummed about that cuz then she probably woke up from that. But I'm eating chips and salsa, watching sports center and I fell asleep on the couch cuz I was like if I go up there she's going to, you know, she, I don't want to wake her up. And I fell asleep on the couch and the amount of salsa that spilled was.
Bobby Lee
Yeah.
Andrew Santino
One for the books. You couldn't even put that much in the jar it's spilled from.
Bobby Lee
Yeah.
Andrew Santino
It's as if somebody walked into my house and put other salsa all over the place.
Bobby Lee
Yeah.
Andrew Santino
And then left with the bottles. It was everywhere. And so no bueno.
Bobby Lee
No bueno.
Andrew Santino
I. I must have had it on the couch.
Bobby Lee
And you fell asleep with it in your hand.
Jacob
Yeah.
Bobby Lee
Yeah. That's insane.
Andrew Santino
I was tired.
Bobby Lee
Yeah, yeah. You cannot shame him for that. I've never had like a drumstick of chicken or anything and just fell asleep with that. Any kind of food. Go ahead, Go ahead. You know won. Yeah, go ahead. You want. Go won. I've my bed. Is that what you're trying to say?
Andrew Santino
Yeah. Well, that's a little worse.
Bobby Lee
Sunflower seeds, Pizza. Oh, yeah. I've never done that. I don't eat on my bed. That's insane.
Andrew Santino
I was on my couch, okay?
Bobby Lee
And that's fair.
Andrew Santino
You never eat on the couch.
Bobby Lee
Yeah, no, I don't. That's what the kitchen table's there for. Okay.
Andrew Santino
When you're watching tv.
Bobby Lee
Yeah, yeah.
Andrew Santino
You eat at the kitchen table, looking through your living room.
Bobby Lee
No, no, no. But there's TV food and then there's couch food.
Andrew Santino
Oh, we up differently, brother.
Bobby Lee
All food and then there's all food.
Andrew Santino
Is TV food.
Bobby Lee
Okay? No popcorn.
Dr. Deutsch
No.
Bobby Lee
You agree all food is TV popcorn. Pretzel. Like pretzel chips.
Andrew Santino
I'll eat a full meal in front of the tv.
Bobby Lee
Yeah.
Andrew Santino
That's how we grew up.
Bobby Lee
Yeah. What about you, Andres? Of course. Okay.
Andrew Santino
A full meal.
Bobby Lee
We didn't do that.
Andrew Santino
You're not talking to each other.
Bobby Lee
I refuse to do it.
Andrew Santino
So you sit at the table alone.
Bobby Lee
I have an expensive rug. I don't want falling asleep with salsa verde all over it.
Andrew Santino
Well, the good news is, when you sell your Ferrari, you can get rug.
Bobby Lee
All right.
Andrew Santino
You. You. When you're eating alone at the home,
Bobby Lee
you sit at the kitchen table by yourself. Yeah, paint that.
Andrew Santino
Someone paint that. Yeah, someone at home, please paint that.
Bobby Lee
It's. Yeah, it's normal, you guys.
Andrew Santino
And you guys, it's. Somewhere at the universe are eating alone at the exact same time.
Bobby Lee
Yeah.
Andrew Santino
And it's just above Carlos. It's a little tiny swinging light.
Bobby Lee
Yeah.
Andrew Santino
You know, and above. And above you, it's a beautiful chandelier.
Bobby Lee
Yeah, yeah, yeah. And you salsa body, dude. Yeah. Dude, this morning I did something that I'd never done before. So last night we saw the movie Obsession, my girlfriend and I, and she is a witch.
Andrew Santino
Correct.
Bobby Lee
Okay. And the movie is very witchy. Okay. What?
Jacob
She gave you a wish stick?
Bobby Lee
Yeah. Yeah. So a what wish? Don't. Don't ruin the movie.
Andrew Santino
She gave you a wish day.
Bobby Lee
Yeah, yeah, yeah. So we went to Bob's big boy
Andrew Santino
mistake number one right next to us. Cuz you wanted to get diarrhea Yeah,
Bobby Lee
I wanted to get diarrhea right before it went to bed. And we were sitting on the. The lobby and waiting for our table, and I heard this buzzing. It was probably neon light or.
Andrew Santino
No, the flies. They have flies all over. They're in the kitchen. Okay, go ahead.
Bobby Lee
It's Bob just sitting next to me. Anyway, welcome. So I go, do you hear that? Do you hear it? The buzzing? She goes, I don't hear the buzzing. I thought she was gaslighting me.
Dr. Deutsch
You're.
Andrew Santino
Oh, your girlfriend said this?
Bobby Lee
Yeah. And then in the. So. And then late at night, right when we're about to go to bed, she went. She kind of tried to scare me. She went in the light.
Andrew Santino
Why?
Bobby Lee
Because we saw a horror movie. So this morning, she was out in the kitchen, and she knows not to ever wake me up. Right. So I built my body on the bed with pillows.
Andrew Santino
Smart, right?
Bobby Lee
And then what I did was I pushed the nightstand closer to my bed so I can fit in the corner of that of the room. And I had a hoodie on backwards with the hoodie over my face. Right? Right. I was crouched down. And I stayed down there for 45 minutes waiting. Waiting for her to come in. Okay. And eventually, like, everything started getting sore. So I asked honey, Jules's mom. I go, I'll. I'll read you the text. Hold on. So people know that this is real.
Andrew Santino
I mean, I 100 believe this. There's no doubt in my mind this is real.
Bobby Lee
Okay. But I. Really.
Andrew Santino
So funny.
Bobby Lee
Is it or no?
Andrew Santino
Yes, it's. I mean, that's. What an elaborate ruse.
Bobby Lee
I hope the payoff is worth was re. So I go tell Sadie to wake me up because I have to pick up my glasses.
Andrew Santino
So good.
Bobby Lee
All right. I'm trying to scare her. So if you tell her I'm trying to scare her, I'll fire you. That's love, right? Don't this up. I'm serious.
Andrew Santino
You sound like you're serious.
Bobby Lee
Yeah, I was serious. Because I had been sitting there, there for 40 in this tight space for 45 minutes.
Andrew Santino
All right? So she comes in.
Bobby Lee
She comes in, and she wakes. Tries to wake me up. And she thinks it's me. Yeah. Because I formed it like a body. You know what I mean? And I go, right. She screamed. And there's. What is it about that that feels good?
Andrew Santino
Making. Making someone scared.
Bobby Lee
Yeah.
Andrew Santino
Oh, it's the best thing.
Bobby Lee
Do you do that to your wife all the time? Yeah. Yeah. It's so fun.
Andrew Santino
Sometimes I scare. I over scare.
Bobby Lee
Yeah. Yeah. I think I over scared her.
Andrew Santino
Like one time she was. She was doing laundry back and forth and I jumped out and I pushed her down the stairs.
Bobby Lee
Yeah, I don't want.
Andrew Santino
Yeah, I really got her. Yeah, I got her good.
Bobby Lee
I used a coat hanger.
Andrew Santino
You know what? Actually, you know what? The old school, like, dad. Dad thing that I, my dad did to us that I always do is when she's walking in front of the car, I always hit and.
Bobby Lee
Yeah. Like. Yeah, yeah.
Andrew Santino
It's just, it's.
Bobby Lee
You have fun.
Andrew Santino
A little one.
Bobby Lee
Yeah. You have to do it. Yeah. You have to scare. I. I mean, I've done laying down, like she's in the bathroom and I'm laying down.
Andrew Santino
Oh, that's fine.
Bobby Lee
Right. So she opens the door and my head's dish down here. Right. I'm also going to get a mannequin of myself. How do you do that, Adam?
Andrew Santino
Ray?
Bobby Lee
Yeah.
Katie
I don't know.
Andrew Santino
He has all, all those people, all the prosthetic people he get.
Bobby Lee
I'm going to have me standing in the dark.
Andrew Santino
He'll want the mannequin as a character, though. You're going to have to lend it to him at some point.
Bobby Lee
Oh, yeah, for sure.
Andrew Santino
It's expensive.
Bobby Lee
You could. We'll go 50, 50 on it.
Andrew Santino
Okay.
Bobby Lee
Yeah, yeah. And I want to. Me standing in the dark, she goes, bobby, I see you. Right. But in the dark. So she'll just see a silhouette and from behind, I scare her.
Andrew Santino
That's so good.
Bobby Lee
It's a good one.
Andrew Santino
Now when do you stab?
Bobby Lee
Oh, you stab when she go. When she stuff like, we should get married. Yeah.
Andrew Santino
All right. You want to bring in one of your kids?
Bobby Lee
Sure.
Andrew Santino
Bob gets to pick.
Dr. Deutsch
Yeah.
Andrew Santino
You want to pick? I'll pick Shopify.
Bobby Lee
You know, we have an online business here at Bad Friends, and I'm telling you right now, we use Shopify because we only use the best here. Shopify is the commerce platform behind millions of businesses around the world and 10% of all e commerce in the US from household names like Allbirds and Birds, Rothy's, all that to brands just getting started as well, too.
Andrew Santino
Skims, Skims. Yeah, yeah, they. They all got it. You get started with your own design studio. They got hundreds, hundreds of ready to use templates. Shopify is going to help you build out beautiful online stores that matches your brand style. You're not going to just do some regular nonsense template that doesn't fit whatever you're pushing out to the world. And we've been so grateful to the Bad Friends fans for helping Us out over the years with their fanship and their love and buying our merch. And thanks to Shopify, you get it.
Bobby Lee
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Andrew Santino
And once again, they got that Purple Shop Pay button. It's the best used by millions of businesses around the world. That Shop Pay button's converting everybody. It's the best converting checkout on the planet. It boosts conversions. The purple Shop pay. You love that. He loves that. That means less carts are going to go abandoned and higher sales for you helping boost the conversions thanks to that. So it's time to turn those what ifs into with Shopify today. Sign up for your $1 per month trial today at shopify.com badfriend go to shopify shopify.com badfriends that's shopify.com badfriends. I'm Andrew Santino.
Bobby Lee
I'm Bobby Lay.
Andrew Santino
And welcome to the Bad Game Show.
Bobby Lee
It's the Bad Game Show.
Andrew Santino
And once again, thank you to Bobby's mom.
Jacob
Back off. I mess you up.
Andrew Santino
Let's start this game. Each of you guys write down the slang term for what we're pointing at. What's this right here?
Bobby Lee
What is this right here?
Andrew Santino
Kevin, Spacey, Epstein, Weinstein. What do they have in common? They're all scumbags. Incorrect. These are all classic New York guys. Oh, my God.
Bobby Lee
Is this the game where we have to figure out what the f. Your mother is saying? Na, na, na, na, na.
Andrew Santino
How old is my wife? I'm gonna put as many marshmallows as I can in Bobby Lee's mouth.
Bobby Lee
If you were in prison. Dude, easy access. I am thoroughly irrelevant. Is this your son? Oh, my God.
Andrew Santino
How did I get here?
Katie
I'm so thrilled that I'm only a lesbian.
Bobby Lee
Oh, wow.
Andrew Santino
Yeah.
Bobby Lee
Stop hitting on my mom.
Andrew Santino
Okay, our next game. Time to get handsy. Buzz in before he does. Cause it's a game show.
Bobby Lee
Hey. The hell, dad? January, 9, 11. The show, you asshole. Was that a good. Do you consider that a good episode or what's the. What's the barometer?
Dr. Deutsch
Yeah.
Andrew Santino
Who do we have here? I'm going to guess their names. Chimbo.
Bobby Lee
No. Alora.
Andrew Santino
Alora means well in Italian.
Bobby Lee
Yeah, yeah.
Andrew Santino
Chimbo and
Bobby Lee
Bco.
Andrew Santino
Baloco. Chimbo, Baloco. How close are we? What's your name? I'M Jack.
Bobby Lee
Not close at all. Not close. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Riley
What about you, Catherine?
Bobby Lee
Hi, Catherine.
Andrew Santino
Yeah, it's a bad miss.
Bobby Lee
So, Jack, are you nimble?
Andrew Santino
Are you quick?
Bobby Lee
A little, yeah. When's the last time you played basketball? Because what the is going on here? You just play a game, like basketball? No. Okay.
Andrew Santino
No, just. Jack likes basketball.
Bobby Lee
Basketball. All right.
Andrew Santino
Do you do play basketball, Jack?
Bobby Lee
From time to time. Like there's a court outside my house back home. Okay.
Andrew Santino
Sometimes when you bring people on the show, they answer like they're being subpoenaed.
Bobby Lee
Yeah, everything's fine.
Andrew Santino
Jack, what do you do for fun? What's Jack do for fun?
Bobby Lee
Fun. I like watching movies.
Andrew Santino
Yeah. What you want to. You want to be a director?
Dr. Deutsch
Yeah.
Andrew Santino
That's what you want to do?
Bobby Lee
That's.
Andrew Santino
That's the goal. And Catherine, what do you want to do?
Riley
I'd like to be a screenwriter.
Andrew Santino
You want to be a screenwriter?
Riley
Yes.
Andrew Santino
You like sitting at the computer all day?
Riley
Yeah, basically.
Andrew Santino
What do you write? Do you write fantasy?
Riley
I write horror stuff mainly.
Bobby Lee
Ah. Do you see Obsession?
Riley
No, I really want to, though. I'm going to go on Friday, maybe.
Bobby Lee
Yeah. Here in la. Okay, good.
Andrew Santino
Can you pitch me a concept of a horror movie? Like an elevator pitch? Give me your elevator pitch.
Bobby Lee
Yeah. And we'll add on.
Riley
Okay.
Bobby Lee
Yeah, yeah, we do. And we're writers as well, and we
Andrew Santino
will want credit for it.
Bobby Lee
Yeah. Okay.
Riley
I just wrote one this past year.
Bobby Lee
We just. We're gonna write it together.
Riley
Yeah, yeah.
Andrew Santino
It's ours.
Riley
It's a western. It's set in 1899, and it's 1904 story.
Bobby Lee
1904.
Andrew Santino
If you don't mind.
Bobby Lee
If you don't mind, I gotta throw my. Yeah, sure. As a producer credit. I gotta. I gotta add my.
Andrew Santino
It's just because we're better. It's better if it's in the 20th century.
Riley
Right, right.
Andrew Santino
Thank you.
Bobby Lee
Can we make a nine to no. 4 for.
Riley
Yeah, sure.
Bobby Lee
Thank you. Thank you.
Riley
And the main character, Thomas and Bell, is on screen.
Andrew Santino
Let me stop you right there.
Bobby Lee
Dimitri.
Andrew Santino
Yeah, Dimitri and Dimitri and Washington and Barbadook.
Riley
Okay.
Bobby Lee
No, no, Barbara Duke is. It's a. It's a horror movie already.
Andrew Santino
Barbadook is.
Bobby Lee
Yeah, yeah.
Andrew Santino
So Dimitri and Toe. Her name is.
Bobby Lee
Wait, that's the full name is what she was saying. Not two people.
Riley
Yeah, Thomas and Bell. First name, last name.
Andrew Santino
Thomas and Bell.
Riley
Thomasin.
Bobby Lee
Thomas and Bell.
Andrew Santino
The gentleman's name is Thomason.
Bobby Lee
Yeah, yeah. Just call him Tom. Thomas.
Riley
So we're not doing Demet Tree anymore?
Bobby Lee
Yeah. We're not doing.
Andrew Santino
You know what? Call him Big T. Yeah, okay.
Bobby Lee
Yeah. This t. Okay, okay.
Andrew Santino
1904. It's t. T, okay?
Riley
T is working on a ranch and it's being terrorized.
Bobby Lee
Not a ranch. Not a ranch. Okay, yeah. The first.
Andrew Santino
It's not a ranch.
Bobby Lee
It's the first meth laboratory verse meth.
Andrew Santino
Crystal meth laboratory.
Bobby Lee
Yeah.
Andrew Santino
Ever so ever. And it's an airplane hangar. It's not a ranch.
Bobby Lee
Okay, yeah, yeah.
Andrew Santino
And also it's terrorized. By who?
Riley
Werewolf.
Bobby Lee
No, no, no, no, no.
Andrew Santino
Like that at all.
Bobby Lee
A country. Yeah, yeah, I know, I know, I know.
Andrew Santino
Lithuania.
Bobby Lee
Lithuanian.
Andrew Santino
Is that fine?
Riley
Yeah.
Andrew Santino
All right, so.
Bobby Lee
So.
Andrew Santino
So pitch it back to us again.
Bobby Lee
Yeah, yeah.
Andrew Santino
Okay,
Riley
so Big T is working at a.
Bobby Lee
What year is it?
Andrew Santino
What year is it?
Riley
1904.
Bobby Lee
Okay.
Andrew Santino
All right.
Riley
Okay. It's 1904, and Big T is working at an airplane hangar.
Bobby Lee
Yeah, but what do they make?
Andrew Santino
So what do they make there?
Riley
What's math?
Andrew Santino
It's the first.
Bobby Lee
Yeah, yeah.
Riley
And it's being terrorized by. Did we decide?
Bobby Lee
Lithuania.
Riley
Right, okay.
Bobby Lee
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Riley
Okay. Yeah.
Andrew Santino
That's the pitch.
Bobby Lee
That's the pitch. What happens in the story? What happens to T?
Andrew Santino
I don't know.
Bobby Lee
What?
Riley
I don't know.
Andrew Santino
Yeah, we do.
Bobby Lee
We do. We know what happens to T. So
Andrew Santino
one of the Lithuanians.
Bobby Lee
Yeah.
Andrew Santino
T falls in love with one of the Lithuanians that's terrorizing, and they actually kind of double cr. You know, they double. What is that? Double agent. They double agent the Lithuanian over overlords. You know, we're like, organizing.
Bobby Lee
Yeah, but the problem is he's addicted to math. Yeah, he's. He is fully addicted. Yeah. And she's trying to help him get sober, too. Okay. Which gives it heart.
Andrew Santino
She's in the program.
Bobby Lee
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Andrew Santino
What's her name?
Bobby Lee
The program didn't start until 1935.
Andrew Santino
Then this place. This place in 1935.
Bobby Lee
1940. Then defined. 1940.
Andrew Santino
All right, and then what's the girl's name? The Lithuanian girl? What. What's the Lithuanian girl's name?
Bobby Lee
P. Keep it simple.
Andrew Santino
P and T. Yeah.
Bobby Lee
Tmp.
Jack
Yeah.
Andrew Santino
Okay, good.
Bobby Lee
Yeah, yeah.
Andrew Santino
I love this pitch.
Bobby Lee
I love this pitch. So what's the horror element of it, though?
Riley
Well, it was werewolves until we changed it to Lithuania.
Andrew Santino
Lithuanians.
Bobby Lee
You can't call. Oh, you can.
Andrew Santino
Yeah.
Bobby Lee
Okay. Yeah.
Andrew Santino
I don't think we care. I think they're one of those countries
Bobby Lee
that no one Lithuanian werewolves.
Andrew Santino
Okay, well, we were going to fund this project.
Bobby Lee
Now, do you have a pitch, Jack? I don't think I can top that. No. But do you have a pitch of your own movie?
Riley
You have to try.
Bobby Lee
We can help you. Well, I. Okay, okay, okay.
Andrew Santino
And. And chime in. Chime in.
Bobby Lee
Oh, of course. We're producers and the. The runners of the show gives us
Andrew Santino
permission on our show to chime in.
Bobby Lee
Yeah, yeah.
Andrew Santino
Hysterical.
Bobby Lee
It's insane.
Andrew Santino
Hysterical.
Bobby Lee
Yeah. Sorry about the basketball short.
Andrew Santino
I love. Yeah.
Bobby Lee
You.
Andrew Santino
You attacked him and now he's.
Bobby Lee
Yeah, now you're being an.
Andrew Santino
No, no, no.
Bobby Lee
You. Jack.
Andrew Santino
He's defending himself. Jack, defend yourself.
Bobby Lee
Yeah, yeah. There's this. We follow this artist who's like.
Andrew Santino
He makes like, sculptures and stuff, and
Bobby Lee
he's like Michelangelo Yesella. Yeah. Is that Michelangelo?
Andrew Santino
No.
Bobby Lee
Can we call him Michelangelo?
Andrew Santino
But if you want it to be Michelangelo.
Bobby Lee
No, we don't want it to be Michelangelo. He's like Michelangelo vii. Okay. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So it's a her. There's a hereditary line here.
Andrew Santino
And what does he do, Jack? Well, he. He makes sculptures, but he's been struggling be. Because he, like, made like a.
Bobby Lee
A sculpture in college and it was like his magnum opus, and he hasn't
Andrew Santino
hit that peak since.
Bobby Lee
Let's think about the sculpture he made.
Andrew Santino
Well, the sculpture comes to life.
Bobby Lee
Well, but what's the sculpture that he made that people don't. They don't like it.
Andrew Santino
It's Hitler. He sculpts Hitler and he comes back.
Bobby Lee
What year is this? Modern day. Oh, it's a modern day. Yeah, Yeah. I say Marco Rubio.
Andrew Santino
Rubio.
Bobby Lee
Yeah, Yeah. I say Marco Rubio. He made a Marco Rubio statue. Okay, okay.
Andrew Santino
And it came to life.
Bobby Lee
Michelangelo viii. Yeah. And then what happened? He came. Marco Rubio came to life.
Riley
Marco Rubio came to life.
Bobby Lee
Yeah. Yeah. So then there's two Marco Rubios.
Andrew Santino
That's crazy.
Bobby Lee
That is insane, dude.
Andrew Santino
Well, I'll say both these products.
Bobby Lee
They fall in love.
Andrew Santino
Will fund.
Bobby Lee
No, they fall in love.
Andrew Santino
They fall in love.
Bobby Lee
Marco and Marco fall in love.
Andrew Santino
Marco. Marco.
Bobby Lee
Yeah, Yeah.
Andrew Santino
I love this.
Bobby Lee
And they. They.
Andrew Santino
I think that one's good. Done with it.
Bobby Lee
I'm not done with the pitch.
Andrew Santino
I'm done.
Bobby Lee
They have a. A Havana in Cuba.
Andrew Santino
Yeah, Little Havana.
Bobby Lee
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Right?
Andrew Santino
Yeah.
Bobby Lee
And there's like. It's like heated rivalry.
Andrew Santino
I knew. I knew it was going to get gay. It's got to go gay. You guys are very good pitch.
Bobby Lee
Everyone's going to pitch. Everyone think of a show idea. Thank you for coming.
Andrew Santino
He's going to. He's going to get you to pitch something else out there, okay? He's gonna swap out. Thank you guys. So fun. Did you guys have fun?
Riley
Yeah.
Andrew Santino
Insane, right? Doesn't make any sense. The name of this show makes no sense. This whole show. Okay, switch out. Thank you guys. All of these young people coming in here look like they were made at Quinnipiac. Yeah, like the school made them.
Bobby Lee
No, they look like they're from Hogwarts.
Andrew Santino
Yes.
Bobby Lee
Yeah, yeah.
Andrew Santino
Quinnipiac.
Bobby Lee
Yeah. What's your name?
Riley
My name is Riley.
Bobby Lee
Riley. What's your name, sir?
Jacob
I'm J. Jacob.
Bobby Lee
You're Jacob? Do you guys. Are you two friends?
Riley
No.
Bobby Lee
No.
Andrew Santino
Why?
Bobby Lee
Why?
Riley
I don't.
Bobby Lee
Riley, why don't you like Jacob?
Riley
Where do I start?
Bobby Lee
Start from the beginning. That's the best part.
Andrew Santino
How long have you been here, Jacob?
Jacob
I've. I've met you five days ago and
Riley
you already pissed me off.
Bobby Lee
Oh yeah? How did he piss you off?
Riley
I just. He doesn't know when to stop talking.
Bobby Lee
Yeah.
Andrew Santino
Yeah, I. I don't know what I did.
Bobby Lee
Why do you talk?
Riley
Thank you.
Bobby Lee
Yeah. Why you keep talking? Dog communication. It's what I. Yeah.
Riley
Went to school. You're still in school.
Jacob
Oh yeah.
Andrew Santino
This sounds like a crush. This is like.
Bobby Lee
Yeah, there's a love here.
Andrew Santino
There's something underneath.
Bobby Lee
Yeah, there's a deep love here.
Andrew Santino
Because this whole.
Bobby Lee
Yeah, no, no, of course not.
Andrew Santino
No, no. Yeah, something's.
Bobby Lee
I'm in love with Riley. Well, no. Yeah.
Riley
If it is, it's one sided.
Andrew Santino
What do you.
Bobby Lee
Whoa. Okay.
Andrew Santino
They like each other. Oh.
Jacob
Oh.
Bobby Lee
The twist.
Andrew Santino
Jacob, are you willing to get surgery? The twist. You're. You like ladies?
Riley
Yes.
Bobby Lee
Is that a problem? No, no, no. There's never been a problem.
Andrew Santino
Why would that be a problem? Well, it's a problem for Jacob for sure. It's not a problem with me.
Bobby Lee
I don't care. Whoa, whoa. You can do better than Riley.
Riley
I hope so.
Bobby Lee
I hope so too. Okay.
Andrew Santino
Jake, Jacob. What do you. Jacob. Okay, so now that we've established you guys don't like each other for literally no reason at all.
Jacob
Yep.
Bobby Lee
Yeah.
Andrew Santino
What do you do, Jacob? You're right.
Bobby Lee
What do you want to do?
Jacob
I'm still deciding. My place in the film. Mystery. Yeah. Writer, director, producer.
Bobby Lee
Okay. Something.
Jacob
The creative end. I don't like editing.
Bobby Lee
Okay. No. Okay, good.
Andrew Santino
It's a nightmare. Only weirdos like editing.
Bobby Lee
Yeah, right.
Andrew Santino
Fance.
Riley
Fancy B.
Andrew Santino
He loves.
Bobby Lee
Whoa.
Andrew Santino
Loves it.
Bobby Lee
Yeah.
Andrew Santino
And let me guess.
Riley
Yeah, no, please guess.
Andrew Santino
You want to be in front of the camera.
Jacob
Camera.
Riley
How could you tell? Like a little bit?
Bobby Lee
Yeah. Because. Well, your energy. Yeah, yeah. Any of you guys have a Venmo?
Riley
Yes.
Jacob
Yes.
Bobby Lee
All right, I'm gonna Venmo one of you guys. And you're gonna take the whole group to dinner tonight.
Riley
I would. I usually pay for everyone's dinner anyways, but thank you.
Bobby Lee
That's awesome. Thank you.
Riley
Oh, I'm sorry. Please don't leave. I feel bad.
Andrew Santino
Oh, no.
Riley
My father is rolling right now.
Bobby Lee
I want to say that again.
Andrew Santino
Did your father not know you were a lesbian? No.
Dr. Deutsch
Know.
Andrew Santino
Oh, he knows now. Oh, wow.
Bobby Lee
What? He doesn't know.
Jacob
I'm sorry.
Bobby Lee
Yeah, we can cut that out if you want.
Riley
Oh, no, I don't care. It's fine.
Bobby Lee
What? This is how you're coming out? I'm bad friends. What?
Riley
Away.
Bobby Lee
Incredible.
Riley
He never watches this. He doesn't watch YouTube, period.
Andrew Santino
Well, he's going to now. I hope so. Cuz all of his friends at work are going to be like, I saw your daughter on my favorite show.
Bobby Lee
Yeah.
Andrew Santino
And she's gay.
Bobby Lee
Yeah. Yeah.
Riley
I don't think it would be much
Bobby Lee
of a surprise for her.
Andrew Santino
Your dad knows. Knew. Did you tell your mom?
Riley
Yes.
Andrew Santino
And your mom's reaction was what?
Riley
I told her when we were in the car. So that if something bad happened, it would at least take both of us out.
Andrew Santino
Ah, good plan.
Bobby Lee
You think your father would be angry?
Riley
No, I think he'd just be a little bit disappointed because I'm the youngest at four, so if anything he'd look at me and be like, good r. And no more grandchildren.
Andrew Santino
No, no, no. That's crazy.
Bobby Lee
That's not crazy.
Andrew Santino
And how many other. The other siblings are boys and girls? Girls?
Riley
I have one brother and two older sisters.
Andrew Santino
It's fine. Yeah, if you're an only child, I'd say yeah. You really kidding? Jesus Christ.
Bobby Lee
But you know, it's. When you. I. I hear. I don't know if this is genetically real, but I hear the more your kid you have, the youngest one has more of a chance of becoming gay
Riley
or lesbian or just messed up in the head.
Bobby Lee
I'm on your side on this. I think the conflict. I. I really do. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I think you're. Yeah, Jacob. Yeah. Yeah, Jacob. Yeah, Jacob. I think I'm on your side.
Riley
It's cuz I'm Jewish, isn't it?
Andrew Santino
So is Jacob.
Bobby Lee
So is Jacob.
Jacob
Are you Jewish? No.
Andrew Santino
Jacob, Jacob, Jacob, Jacob, Jacob, Jacob. You're Jewish, bro. You should have just agreed all, Jacob, get a.
Bobby Lee
What are you.
Andrew Santino
If you're not, get a 23 and me. Done.
Riley
Thank you.
Andrew Santino
Yeah, yeah, you're there.
Bobby Lee
But don't get it in Israel because they don't allow it. They don't. You don't?
Andrew Santino
No. You'd have to take it 3,000 years ago or something.
Bobby Lee
Yeah.
Andrew Santino
All right.
Bobby Lee
You guys have been great.
Andrew Santino
You guys are. Thank you, guys. You guys are the best. The. This was actually, we thought. Thought this was a love story and it turned out to be not a love story.
Bobby Lee
But.
Andrew Santino
But. But you are going to show each other love from here on out in my studio. Be nice.
Riley
Yes, sir.
Andrew Santino
Be nice.
Bobby Lee
You will be nice. Buenos noos, amigo.
Jack
How could you tell?
Bobby Lee
Am I right?
Jack
Right? You're right.
Bobby Lee
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Andrew Santino
Put that mic near your mouth.
Bobby Lee
Yeah. Get closer to your mouth.
Andrew Santino
What's your name?
Jack
My name is Jack as well.
Andrew Santino
Jack as well. Yep. Jack Aswell.
Jack
Jack Aswell.
Andrew Santino
Jack Aswell.
Jack
Jackass. Wipe.
Andrew Santino
Jack.
Bobby Lee
What do you. Jack, just say this for me.
Andrew Santino
Jack as well.
Bobby Lee
Interesting. Interesting.
Andrew Santino
And I'll say per se.
Jack
Per.
Bobby Lee
No go.
Andrew Santino
No go. Per se.
Bobby Lee
Per se. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Very good. Do you watch Love on the Spectrum?
Jack
Tiny bit.
Bobby Lee
Yeah.
Jack
I. I got into like two episodes. My friend was making me watch the finale of, like, what, the fourth season?
Bobby Lee
Yeah. I was like, that's not your brother.
Andrew Santino
You don't know that man.
Jack
Twice removed. Cousin.
Andrew Santino
I gotta tell you, dude, how do you teach these people?
Bobby Lee
Yeah, Jack, can you pitch me a movie?
Riley
Movie?
Jack
Sure.
Bobby Lee
Okay. Are you offended right now?
Jack
No, sir.
Bobby Lee
Okay, good. Let's move on.
Andrew Santino
All right.
Jack
I was actually thinking about making this
Andrew Santino
a lot in college. Kind eyes.
Bobby Lee
He's a kind guy. I don't know.
Andrew Santino
He's got kind eyes.
Bobby Lee
Yeah.
Andrew Santino
Kind face.
Bobby Lee
Give me a pitch. Yeah.
Jack
All right, so this college student, he's feeling like he's getting followed every night when he's going back to his dorm. Long day of classes.
Bobby Lee
Not long dick classes.
Jacob
I thought you said long dick as well.
Bobby Lee
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Jack
Long day of classes. Long day.
Bobby Lee
Yeah.
Andrew Santino
Does he have a long dick, this college student?
Bobby Lee
Yeah.
Andrew Santino
It's helpful for the film if we're selling.
Bobby Lee
Yeah.
Jacob
The writer's room. You could say it.
Jack
We'll see. We'll see a close up at the beginning of the movie. We'll see, like, the outline of its dick.
Bobby Lee
Does it go down below his knees, is what I'm saying?
Jack
More like ankle height.
Bobby Lee
We say. Oh, but we say knees, knees, knees, knees. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Andrew Santino
All right, so go ahead. This guy's.
Bobby Lee
Go ahead. Okay.
Andrew Santino
Really nice. Very long.
Bobby Lee
Skinny, though.
Andrew Santino
I know why he's being followed, I'll tell you that.
Bobby Lee
Yeah.
Andrew Santino
Someone's. Somebody wants to Suck that big, beautiful penis super long.
Bobby Lee
Okay, so go ahead.
Jack
He's got this bad feeling of someone being behind him. Looks around, no one's there. Goes to bed, thinks there's someone in the corner, but just stares at it. Doesn't, doesn't acknowledge it.
Bobby Lee
Wow. I like it so far. This is a real pitch.
Andrew Santino
I know.
Bobby Lee
I can see it. Yeah, yeah, go ahead.
Jack
And he gets tired throughout the day. He decides to party. Nothing crazy happens at this party, but he just feels like he's getting followed every day, every night, whenever he's walking alone.
Bobby Lee
You're not repeating the movie. It follows, right?
Andrew Santino
It does sound like.
Bobby Lee
It sounds like. Okay, keep going.
Jack
It's about. I haven't actually seen that movie.
Bobby Lee
Okay.
Jack
But no.
Andrew Santino
So we go after part.
Bobby Lee
Jack, Jack, Jack. Let's get to it.
Jack
Yes, sir.
Bobby Lee
Yeah, yeah.
Jack
No. End of the week, with all this bad mojo around him, he sees that in class, there's this test that he forgot to study for.
Bobby Lee
Yeah.
Jack
And that's what was following him this entire time. Like he's been wasting his time. Study, partying, drinking. He's got nothing actually following him. He's just been thinking about that test.
Andrew Santino
The test?
Jack
Yeah, it's the test.
Andrew Santino
Homework, homework.
Jacob
We gotta make it a monster, you know?
Andrew Santino
No.
Bobby Lee
Okay. No, we keep it as is.
Jacob
Can it be a pig?
Bobby Lee
No one's gonna watch it.
Jack
But it's a short film.
Bobby Lee
I, I, okay, I understand that.
Andrew Santino
It's very short.
Bobby Lee
It's, it's so short. Yeah.
Jack
I mean, unlike his penis.
Jacob
Yeah, There you go.
Andrew Santino
That's. Yeah, that's the hook.
Bobby Lee
Yeah.
Andrew Santino
This film is short, but the actor's penis isn't.
Bobby Lee
Yeah.
Andrew Santino
And that's kind of the pitch.
Bobby Lee
Yeah. How about this? He's, he has a test, right?
Jack
Yep.
Bobby Lee
So you see, as a director, right? You see his face, only his face from shoulder up. Right, Right. And you hear him writing the test. Right, right, right. And then in frame, he puts his hand up like this. Right. In the other frame, he puts his hands up like this. And it's his penis writing like an octopus.
Andrew Santino
So good, his writing.
Jacob
I could see that.
Jack
Imagine maybe like those footsteps were just like his dick hitting the.
Bobby Lee
That's exactly what it is, dude.
Andrew Santino
Right.
Bobby Lee
What? It was following. He was dragging his penis all day.
Andrew Santino
His penis was following him.
Bobby Lee
Yeah. And that's a good story.
Jack
I'm so glad I had these producers helping.
Bobby Lee
Yeah, yeah, yeah. We were able to, you know. So go ahead, your pitch.
Jacob
So I'm thinking like a meth addicted grocery delivery driver.
Andrew Santino
I'm in.
Bobby Lee
Yeah. I mean, I'm already in.
Jacob
Okay, great. Drops are.
Bobby Lee
They're werewolves.
Jacob
There's no werewolves.
Andrew Santino
Any Lithuanians at all?
Jacob
Yeah, no Lithuanian.
Andrew Santino
Just poor addiction. Grocery delivery. Delivery driver.
Bobby Lee
Yeah.
Jacob
Be with me.
Andrew Santino
Who's played.
Bobby Lee
Let him pitch it.
Jacob
I mean, this is an easy cast. I go, Simon Rex. You know, I love Red Rocket. Have you seen Red Rocket?
Bobby Lee
Yeah, we know Simon.
Andrew Santino
Yeah.
Bobby Lee
Yeah.
Jacob
So I go him. That's his niche, you know, has to drop bags off at this old lady's house.
Bobby Lee
Okay.
Jacob
And they can sort of communicate because she's, like, passed out in the upstairs, but she still has to get down and get the groceries. And at some point, I think she's gonna fall. And he has to break in to the house to, you know.
Bobby Lee
How are they communicating? Through cell phone?
Jacob
No, I think.
Andrew Santino
I don't know the window.
Jack
The windows code.
Bobby Lee
What are you doing in this pitch? We're already making your movie.
Andrew Santino
This guy's really greedy.
Bobby Lee
Yeah, he's really greedy.
Andrew Santino
He wants both movies.
Bobby Lee
Yeah, he wants both movies.
Andrew Santino
You're gonna make it just fine.
Bobby Lee
So that's the movie.
Jacob
No, it wasn't over.
Bobby Lee
Okay. I don't know.
Jacob
It's a slog. You know, he's gonna break in.
Bobby Lee
When you're pitching something, don't call it a slog. I think that's the first bat he's
Jacob
gonna break in eventually. Maybe he'll steal something. It's money. It might be meth, but I don't want that to be revealed until the end. And then he called the police to come get her. And then she's realized that she's been robbed and it's the beauty. He called the police on himself. Himself. And that is what I thought of.
Andrew Santino
Yeah.
Jacob
Two minutes.
Andrew Santino
You got to make him kill the old lady.
Bobby Lee
Yeah, I think.
Jacob
Yeah, he's got the old lady casting. I was trying to think of that, but I couldn't do it.
Bobby Lee
Yeah, we're not making this movie. No, but we're not at the process of casting. Yeah, I don't know.
Jacob
You did the lead, though.
Bobby Lee
I know, but we have. We have to find a long dick person for the him. All right.
Jacob
That's a fun cast.
Bobby Lee
So that's the first casting. And we're trying to think through our minds.
Andrew Santino
We're going to spend a long time on that casting. Yeah, that'll be months.
Bobby Lee
Not CGI or AI ing this.
Andrew Santino
Not the real deal.
Bobby Lee
Not the real deal. We're going to method this, you know, I mean, what color preference? Yeah, yeah. Easier. Easier to find.
Andrew Santino
You can pick any color well, make it harder for us.
Bobby Lee
Yeah, it would take.
Andrew Santino
That's the name of the movie. Make it harder.
Bobby Lee
Make them Asian.
Andrew Santino
Make it Asian.
Bobby Lee
You're. We're never going to make this movie.
Andrew Santino
Jack and Jack. Yeah, Jack and Jack.
Jacob
No, no, Oliver.
Andrew Santino
Oliver.
Bobby Lee
Yeah.
Andrew Santino
Why did you say Jack? Jack too.
Jack
Cuz there was another Jack. That was earlier here.
Andrew Santino
Was there in the first.
Jacob
That guy's name is Jack.
Andrew Santino
Yeah, that first guy's name is Jack.
Bobby Lee
Great pitches, guys.
Andrew Santino
Very good.
Bobby Lee
Thank you so much, Oliver.
Andrew Santino
Great pitch, you guys.
Jack
The best.
Jacob
Thanks for having me.
Jack
Thanks for having us.
Andrew Santino
Bobby's going to take you guys out to dinner or well, give you money for dinner. So pick a fun place.
Bobby Lee
He'll be there.
Andrew Santino
He'll go. He might go. I love you, dude. You're the man. We'll come say. We'll come say bye afterwards. I think you two are good. I think this is the two favorite people. Obviously already. You can't tell. What is your. What is your name? Katie and Angie.
Bobby Lee
Angie. What did your. What your shirt say?
Katie
Mine says stars. Holo, Connecticut.
Bobby Lee
Oh, that's correct.
Katie
Gilmore Girls.
Bobby Lee
Yeah.
Andrew Santino
Katie and Angie. Katie. Angie.
Bobby Lee
I bet.
Andrew Santino
Do you guys do friends? Do you guys do drugs? Katie, I told you I was going to like these girls. I knew it. They're. They're the troublemakers, aren't they? Do you have more fun? Are you more party than everyone else in that room? Who else would be party in that room?
Katie
I force everybody else.
Andrew Santino
I told you I was going to like them. I knew. I knew they were party. I could feel their vibe that she was party.
Bobby Lee
How old do you have to be to be to buy weed in LA?
Andrew Santino
21. It's all 21.
Bobby Lee
Have you bought any weed?
Katie
I have not.
Andrew Santino
Give her some money.
Bobby Lee
Well, you're. You're going to get a big chunk of money from Venmo.
Riley
Great.
Bobby Lee
And some of that money is going to be spent on weed.
Katie
Perfect.
Bobby Lee
Yeah, yeah.
Katie
I bought nicotine. Here.
Bobby Lee
I. I think you're in charge of the money.
Andrew Santino
Okay.
Bobby Lee
Yeah, yeah, you'll be in charge of the money.
Katie
The most responsible.
Bobby Lee
I'm going to give you money to e. Get a little weed.
Katie
Perfect.
Andrew Santino
Angie spends it all on weed.
Bobby Lee
If you spend it all on weed,
Andrew Santino
like a thousand dollars. So what? She doesn't even like those.
Bobby Lee
I know, but I wondered. I want them all to go out tonight to eat them. Eat something nice.
Andrew Santino
No, they're not. You're never going to see these people again.
Katie
Every night I'm forced to see some of them.
Andrew Santino
Yeah, but when it's Over. It's over.
Riley
Sure.
Andrew Santino
You'll never speak to these people ever again.
Katie
I'm going to need like a week or two.
Bobby Lee
Cuz you're the only one that's going to make it.
Andrew Santino
No, that's crazy. What about Katie?
Bobby Lee
I'm kidding, guys. So here.
Andrew Santino
No, we're not.
Riley
They're going to get rid of me.
Bobby Lee
Oh yeah.
Katie
No, Katie and I will make it. AI's taking the rest of their jobs.
Andrew Santino
Damn. What are you guys going to do in the biz?
Katie
I'm journalism.
Andrew Santino
And what about you?
Riley
I'm marketing.
Andrew Santino
Oh, you're.
Bobby Lee
Oh, you're both good. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Andrew Santino
I'd love to be able to like check back in in five years and see what they're.
Bobby Lee
Yeah, yeah, I'll come back.
Andrew Santino
Yeah, I want to see. Cuz some of the cases we've talked. Some of the cases like it's a court. Some of the people that times we've had. I wonder if some of those people worked out.
Jack
Out.
Andrew Santino
It's tough.
Bobby Lee
I mean Richie works for us.
Andrew Santino
I hate that guy.
Bobby Lee
We love Richie.
Andrew Santino
No, I love him so much.
Bobby Lee
And Richie's from you?
Andrew Santino
Yeah, he's Quinnipiac.
Bobby Lee
Wow.
Andrew Santino
He made it. He lasted.
Bobby Lee
He lasted.
Andrew Santino
Do you have any plans to move to the west coast or. No chance. This isn't for you.
Katie
I've never been here before this and my parents are like. So you're going to move there and buy us a house, right? And I'm like, you know what? Honestly? Yeah, I like the weather here.
Bobby Lee
I hate the cold, cold journalism.
Andrew Santino
You're a Connecticut kid.
Katie
I'm Massachusetts.
Andrew Santino
Oh, what about you?
Riley
New York.
Andrew Santino
New York.
Bobby Lee
New York.
Andrew Santino
You're going to go back to New York? Hey, where in New York you're. Long Island? No, upstate Brooklyn.
Bobby Lee
Don't get.
Andrew Santino
Oh, you're from the city.
Bobby Lee
Started.
Andrew Santino
Wow.
Bobby Lee
I'm from Brooklyn.
Andrew Santino
Brooklyn, huh?
Bobby Lee
How you doing? You from Brooklyn?
Andrew Santino
You know Tony? You know Tony no ice.
Bobby Lee
Yeah, yeah, yeah, I'm Tony no eyes. How you doing? You like rice? That's all we do is rice around here.
Andrew Santino
Hey, you do pizza? I do rice. All right.
Bobby Lee
Okay.
Andrew Santino
Oh, I'm eating kimchi over here.
Bobby Lee
I'm walking through. You know,
Andrew Santino
you guys are gonna. You guys are gonna.
Bobby Lee
So what kind of journalism do you do mostly?
Katie
Live like anything like I don't like politics or sports.
Andrew Santino
Okay, so you report on like a. Okay, I'm setting the scene. The cameras are up, you're on the scene. It's a horrific 10 car pile up. Okay.
Katie
Yeah.
Andrew Santino
Okay. I'm giving you the Scene. I want to hear you do it.
Bobby Lee
Yeah.
Andrew Santino
10 car pile up.
Bobby Lee
Pile up.
Andrew Santino
9 of the 10 cars are school buses filled with elementary school children.
Bobby Lee
No, no.
Andrew Santino
And the 10.
Bobby Lee
But the nine, nine cars are that, is that new Ferrari EV?
Andrew Santino
Yeah, they're all.
Katie
The new Ferrari was so ugly.
Bobby Lee
All right, well, so dumb. All right, but don't put that in the thing because. No. Yeah, yeah.
Andrew Santino
How about this? How about this? It's a horrific 10 car pile up.
Bobby Lee
Yeah.
Andrew Santino
Elementary school bus is involved. A big 18 wheel truck is involved.
Dr. Deutsch
Yeah.
Andrew Santino
And there's bodies everywhere. Bodies everywhere.
Bobby Lee
Yeah.
Andrew Santino
And also the, the, the international, like the alarm that. That war is just about to start.
Bobby Lee
Right.
Andrew Santino
Happening.
Katie
And you're in the apocalypse.
Bobby Lee
Yeah.
Andrew Santino
Not only that, we're about, may I add. Yeah.
Bobby Lee
Can I add? Yeah, right. When you look at a lamppost, there's just intestines wrapped around. Wrapped around it. Yeah, yeah, yeah, we got that. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And then at one point, you mean you're about to stop, Start an eyeball. Just goes right up your face, hits your cheek. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Andrew Santino
All right, so report on this accident.
Bobby Lee
It's a Puerto Rican eyeball, if that means anything to you.
Andrew Santino
You're. You're reporting from Puerto Rico. Yeah, Puerto Rico. You're living in Puerto Rico.
Bobby Lee
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Katie
Just to get the facts right, there's 10 buses.
Andrew Santino
10. No, there's. It's a 10 car pile up.
Katie
10 car pile.
Andrew Santino
One of them is a, One of them's elementary school kids. And they're.
Bobby Lee
No, they might necessarily be dead.
Andrew Santino
They're all dead.
Bobby Lee
Okay, one kid.
Andrew Santino
One kid lived. Confirmed fatalities, nine dead. Not all dead, except for one child. One child's alive.
Bobby Lee
And you can make up that child.
Andrew Santino
Yeah, you make up the child.
Bobby Lee
Right. And we're c. I'm a cameraman. Right?
Katie
Cameraman.
Bobby Lee
We're cameraman. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You're the. Yeah, yeah. And.
Katie
All right. Good evening, everyone. We are here live in Puerto Rico where There is a 10 car pileup and we are on the side seen many fatalities confirmed by authorities. One of them happens to be.
Bobby Lee
You gotta incorporate the eye.
Katie
Oh, the eye.
Bobby Lee
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Start over, Start over. Very good. When I do this, when I do. When I do this, the eyeball hit your face.
Katie
Okay, Perfect.
Bobby Lee
Oh, yeah. You gotta be real. And take it again. And action.
Katie
Good evening, everyone. We are here live on the scene of a 10 car pileup in Puerto Rico. One of them happens to be a school bus with multiple children. Many fatalities. Only one survived, a young child named Timmy. Timmy has Words to say about how he is feeling tonight. About all of his friends being lost.
Andrew Santino
Really good.
Bobby Lee
That's really good. The eyeball thing, she didn't react to.
Andrew Santino
No, she did a good job. She brushed it off. It actually was perfect.
Bobby Lee
Yeah. Okay. That was very professional.
Andrew Santino
A professional would keep going.
Bobby Lee
Yeah, yeah.
Katie
Trained in everything in the rain. I've had to do.
Bobby Lee
Oh, okay. You're going to be.
Andrew Santino
She is. I can hear it.
Bobby Lee
Cuz if an eyeball hit mine, I would react to it.
Andrew Santino
You can't if you're live.
Bobby Lee
Yeah. Yeah.
Andrew Santino
Let's do it.
Bobby Lee
What? I can't do it. There's no way I can do it. Yeah, I don't. I. I didn't memorize the situation.
Andrew Santino
You. We made it up.
Bobby Lee
Hi, I'm Bobby Lee and this is ktla and we were in Puerto Rico and we. There's a ten pile. Cover up.
Andrew Santino
It's a cover up.
Bobby Lee
It's a cover up.
Riley
Cover up.
Bobby Lee
10 pile. Cover up with. You know what I mean?
Katie
Oh, I forgot there's war. Forgot.
Riley
Oh, by the way, everyone's gonna die soon.
Andrew Santino
Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Bobby Lee
I don't get why you're interrupting my.
Katie
Go ahead.
Riley
I forgot.
Bobby Lee
All right. Do I have to do it?
Andrew Santino
Yeah.
Bobby Lee
All right. I'm throwing the eye. Yeah.
Andrew Santino
And I'm.
Bobby Lee
No, you know what? You throw that. All right, we'll just take it to the eye. All right. Hey, this is Bobby Lee from PTSDW XM and I'm here live in Puerto Rico.
Andrew Santino
Go.
Bobby Lee
And there's been a 10 car pileup including a school, a bus with nine fatalities.
Katie
I kill you.
Andrew Santino
Yeah. I killed him.
Bobby Lee
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Katie
You got taken out.
Andrew Santino
Katie, you can't. That's not your. That's not your bag. You're marketing.
Riley
Yeah.
Andrew Santino
You know how. You know how to market.
Bobby Lee
Yeah, but Katie, give it a shot. You're marketing, but give it a shot.
Riley
Okay.
Bobby Lee
And. And action.
Riley
We're here reporting live from Puerto Rico with a.
Andrew Santino
Has been a bus crash.
Bobby Lee
Cut.
Andrew Santino
The funniest part is everybody laughs whenever. When you say 10 car pileup with kids.
Bobby Lee
I was like looking for. That was really real. That was really real. That was really real.
Andrew Santino
And. And go. One more time. Go.
Riley
We're here reporting live from Puerto Rico where There's been a 10 car pileup and everyone's gone except for Timmy.
Andrew Santino
And Timmy has some words to say
Riley
about how all his friends are loss.
Andrew Santino
And I also die from the eye. You die from that. You also die from the eye.
Bobby Lee
Really great. Really great guy.
Andrew Santino
You guys. You have a Bright future ahead, all of the Quinnipiac students.
Bobby Lee
And we love you guys. When you guys.
Andrew Santino
We think it's always fun when you guys come by. We appreciate you very much. Thank you, guys. All right, go sit in there. This is your doctor.
Bobby Lee
This is your doctor.
Andrew Santino
You perform. You performed on Carlos.
Dr. Deutsch
Miracles, yes.
Andrew Santino
Performed on Carlos.
Dr. Deutsch
I.
Andrew Santino
Did you know how many men have performed on Carlos? A lot. Hundreds.
Dr. Deutsch
There you go.
Bobby Lee
You look like Salieri from the movie. I mean, Wolf. Mozart. What's that movie? Yeah, yeah, Salieri's here.
Dr. Deutsch
Me?
Bobby Lee
Yeah, yeah, Salari. Like an artist.
Andrew Santino
What's your name, sir?
Dr. Deutsch
David Deutsch.
Andrew Santino
Dr. Deutsch.
Bobby Lee
David Deutsch.
Andrew Santino
Dr. German. And Dr. Deutsch did this little work of art on Carlos's head here. We wanted to bring him in to shout it out because.
Dr. Deutsch
My pleasure.
Andrew Santino
So what do you think the. The chances of this becoming a nice head of lettuce like you are yours?
Dr. Deutsch
Well, you know, when you.
Andrew Santino
Well, is not a good answer if the first words from a doctor are, well, it's tough.
Dr. Deutsch
No, the. The thing is, you have to be realistic about when you do this procedure.
Andrew Santino
Sure.
Dr. Deutsch
So, for example, Carlos and I had a very long discussion about what we can accomplish. Okay, I'm going to give you some numbers. All right.
Bobby Lee
All right.
Dr. Deutsch
So Carlos probably has lost about 70,000 hairs. I'm just.
Bobby Lee
Holy. Holy.
Andrew Santino
70,000?
Bobby Lee
Yes.
Dr. Deutsch
60, 70,000. And we transport.
Bobby Lee
What is his head? Normandy. What is going on?
Dr. Deutsch
Here's the thing.
Jacob
Yeah.
Bobby Lee
What is going on here?
Andrew Santino
The average human head has 90,000, 150,000.
Bobby Lee
That's insane, dude. Wow.
Dr. Deutsch
So you guys are fact checking me?
Bobby Lee
Yeah.
Dr. Deutsch
All right, so say he lost, you know, 60, 70,000 hairs. We replaced about 7,000 hairs. Seven or 8,000 hairs. So, I mean, it's a fraction of what he had before. But it's not a numerical density. It's a cosmetic density, meaning you don't want to replace and you can't every hair that's been lost, but you want to do it in such a way that it gives him a nice result. So what. What we did was we worked in the front, back to about the vertex of his crown to give him, you know, a nice hairline and a good appearance from the front. We'll see how things look in about a year, see what the donor looks like, and then hopefully attack the back.
Bobby Lee
Wow.
Dr. Deutsch
We also had to build. Build up on the sides here. Like, the. The hairline normally plugs into. We call them the parietal humps. It has to plug in there. Carlos's had receded down.
Bobby Lee
Yeah.
Dr. Deutsch
So I had to also build that up.
Bobby Lee
Yeah.
Dr. Deutsch
To plug.
Bobby Lee
Why does this happen to a human being?
Dr. Deutsch
Oh, God.
Bobby Lee
Is it genetics?
Dr. Deutsch
It's. Yes.
Bobby Lee
So the major cause for it's failed genetics, Right?
Dr. Deutsch
Well, I'm not gonna say it's failed genetics. It's genetics. It's genetics and hormones. So we call it androgenetic alopecia, which is a fancy word. Androgen. Androgens are hormones. Genetics. It's heredity.
Bobby Lee
Yeah, that.
Dr. Deutsch
That's the vast majority of hair loss.
Bobby Lee
That's.
Dr. Deutsch
That's what causes it. That's what we see. There are other factors. It's multifactorial, but those are.
Bobby Lee
Does drugs have a factor?
Dr. Deutsch
Probably, yeah.
Bobby Lee
Yeah.
Dr. Deutsch
The major thing is if. If you are losing your hair or you think you're losing your hair, or you're concerned about maintaining your hair, you can come to Bosley. I mean, we have locations in almost every major sub city. All the consultations are free. So you can go on bosley.com. you can set up a consultation and have a discussion.
Bobby Lee
I have so many questions. I have so many questions.
Dr. Deutsch
Good.
Bobby Lee
The first question is this. Okay. I have several. Can I ask my questions?
Andrew Santino
Did I say you couldn't at any point?
Bobby Lee
Did I say I don't know? All right, so, number one, I've always wanted a beard transplant.
Dr. Deutsch
Yes.
Bobby Lee
Do you do those?
Dr. Deutsch
Yes, we do.
Bobby Lee
Yeah. Yeah, we do. And where. Where would you take the hairs from?
Dr. Deutsch
So it's basically the same thing. It's from the back of the head.
Bobby Lee
Could I use my pubic hair? You could, yeah. Yeah, because I want that. I want that.
Dr. Deutsch
I would do it.
Andrew Santino
Dr. Deutsch isn't doing that.
Bobby Lee
Yeah, yeah, yeah. But why wouldn't you do that?
Dr. Deutsch
No, no. I mean, you could, but the hair is pretty curly and.
Bobby Lee
Yeah.
Andrew Santino
Not his. Oh, maybe it's unbelievably straight. It's like a. It's like a. The mane of a horse.
Bobby Lee
It's wild. Yeah, it's wild. They don't curl. They stick out a lot. Right.
Andrew Santino
I mean, beautiful pubes. Dr. Deutsch, I'm sure.
Bobby Lee
No, I'm not going to show you.
Dr. Deutsch
Yeah, could be done. Yeah, Just not in my wheelhouse. But, yeah, there's. I'm sure somebody out there.
Bobby Lee
Oh, but. But Bosley does not do that.
Dr. Deutsch
Correct?
Bobby Lee
Bosley. Bosley, correct. All right, so back of the hair.
Dr. Deutsch
We do. But we do do beards, just not from the pubic region.
Bobby Lee
Yeah, back of the head.
Dr. Deutsch
This is so.
Bobby Lee
Okay. It's what the facts.
Dr. Deutsch
So this procedure is Based on the fact that this area back here here is called the safe donor zone. Like, you can see dudes that are totally bald. Right. They still have that ring of hair.
Bobby Lee
Yes.
Dr. Deutsch
Whatever reason, evolutionarily, whatever it is, they maintain that hair. So we know it's. It's a. It's a. It's called donor dominance. We know we can take the hair from back there and move it to wherever we want, including facial hair, and that hair is going to be perfect.
Andrew Santino
Face on. Your face is wild, though. Does that work?
Bobby Lee
Yeah, but once I do the surgery, I can never go back.
Dr. Deutsch
You mean take it back?
Bobby Lee
Yeah, yeah.
Dr. Deutsch
Repossess the hair.
Bobby Lee
Like, bring them back to back. Back there?
Dr. Deutsch
Well, theoretically. Theoretically, you could, because, you know, like, the way that we took Carlos's donor hair out is something called fue. Follicular unit excision. That's where we take a tiny little drill and we remove them one by one. Theoretically, you could do that to remove the hairs. I wouldn't do it on the face because it could leave scarring.
Andrew Santino
Right?
Bobby Lee
Scarring. Oh, yeah. It'll look weird.
Andrew Santino
I like your face just the way
Bobby Lee
I want a beard like yours.
Dr. Deutsch
Man.
Andrew Santino
Brother, you're never gonna.
Bobby Lee
This is just.
Andrew Santino
This is. You get these or you don't get.
Bobby Lee
Yes, I do. I go to Bosley.
Dr. Deutsch
Exactly. Amazing.
Andrew Santino
But this. This.
Bobby Lee
That's not his hair.
Andrew Santino
I'm wearing a wig. This. We wore a wig for. So funny now. Now that he's going to take that. We wore. We were supposed to both. He had his wig on earlier. Four Fancy on the right. We were wearing wigs for him.
Dr. Deutsch
Okay, but that's. That's your hair.
Bobby Lee
Oh, yeah, that's my hair.
Dr. Deutsch
Yeah. No, but I've seen you with your. Your hair is great under.
Andrew Santino
It's fine. Yeah, it's fine. But.
Jacob
But, but.
Bobby Lee
No, that's good.
Andrew Santino
Not as good as this. And now he's going to.
Bobby Lee
Yeah. Yeah.
Andrew Santino
Thanks a lot, doctor. Sorry about that.
Bobby Lee
Is.
Andrew Santino
He told. The doctor told you the week was better.
Bobby Lee
Sorry about that.
Andrew Santino
No, but you know what?
Bobby Lee
Yeah.
Andrew Santino
I don't think you should do the beard.
Bobby Lee
Yeah.
Andrew Santino
Because your face, the way it is.
Bobby Lee
How does it feel to have a beard?
Andrew Santino
It covers up how weird my face looks. You've seen my face.
Bobby Lee
Yeah, My face looks weird, too now.
Andrew Santino
You got a great face.
Bobby Lee
Okay.
Andrew Santino
I had it because I. When I was in high school, I could grow one, and I was like, oh, I could grow a beard when I was, like, 15. Teen. So ever since then, I was like, I'm never gonna not have a Beard. Yeah, it's great.
Bobby Lee
That's theoretical. Doctor, Theoretically, if I. If I wanted hairy feet, theoretically, could you put the back of my head and make my hair completely fuzzy?
Dr. Deutsch
You could. So we've actually fuzzy feet.
Bobby Lee
What, like a hobbit? Like a hobbit. Yeah, yeah, you could.
Dr. Deutsch
We actually did. My partner did a case. A guy was very self conscious about not having hair on his calves, and we did.
Bobby Lee
Look, look, look, look.
Andrew Santino
Yeah, he doesn't have any.
Bobby Lee
I don't have any. Yeah, I have only blotches like it's from Chernobyl.
Andrew Santino
Right?
Bobby Lee
Yeah, yeah. Chernobyl legs.
Dr. Deutsch
So theoretically, you could do that, but,
Bobby Lee
you know, I don't care about this.
Andrew Santino
Could you ever make a palm hairy?
Dr. Deutsch
Yeah, I mean, it. It would grow probably on pretty much any skin.
Andrew Santino
Surf. I mean, that's crazy that you could do that.
Bobby Lee
Yeah. Hairy palms would be just on your right hand. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Andrew Santino
You drop off too much, so the joke lives.
Dr. Deutsch
Wouldn't want to, but you could probably transplant any.
Andrew Santino
I'll be honest with you. I would love a super hairy ass.
Dr. Deutsch
Yeah.
Andrew Santino
I have no hair on my ass, and I love a very hairy butt.
Bobby Lee
Honestly, when I turn 60, I'm gonna get a beard transplant.
Andrew Santino
Don't do it.
Bobby Lee
Because I'm gonna retire and I want a large beard and long hair. I want to look like a. You know, I mean, a mystic kind of creature.
Andrew Santino
You already look like a mystic creature
Bobby Lee
in a good way. And we're gonna go mystic.
Jacob
You don't need help.
Dr. Deutsch
That's fine.
Bobby Lee
Yeah, yeah.
Andrew Santino
Dr. Deutsch, we're realistic.
Bobby Lee
Yeah, yeah. Sounds good.
Andrew Santino
All right.
Bobby Lee
So at 60, you're saying that in 65 years.
Andrew Santino
Okay, dude, you're 55 this year. Yeah, I forgot.
Bobby Lee
Yeah.
Andrew Santino
In five years, I'm not gonna get. I don't want to get sad.
Bobby Lee
Why closer to.
Andrew Santino
Because I think you're. That means you're gonna die.
Bobby Lee
I know.
Andrew Santino
And I don't want you to die ever.
Bobby Lee
Anyway, thank you so much, doctor.
Andrew Santino
Thank you, doctor.
Bobby Lee
If you guys want to ever get a. A head transplant or a beer transplant, you have not a head.
Andrew Santino
Bosley can't give you a new head.
Bobby Lee
Yeah, they will.
Andrew Santino
But when you do figure out that technology, I. I want to be Michael B. Jordan.
Bobby Lee
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Dr. Deutsch
Go to bosley.com for more information.
Bobby Lee
Yeah. And give him. All right, thank you. Thank you, guys. Thank you very much.
Riley
Thank you for being a bad friend.
Andrew Santino
So good.
Hosts: Bobby Lee & Andrew Santino
Main Theme: Sight, stand-up industry shenanigans, and embracing chaos with interns and special guests.
In this lively episode, Bobby Lee celebrates a major milestone—he finally got glasses and can see the world with fresh clarity! This leads to a whirlwind of observational humor about sight, driving while half-blind, and seeing "new" things for the first time. Meanwhile, Andrew is recovering from a hangover and the duo riff on topics ranging from Japanese baseball influence in LA, navigating Hollywood, outlandish TV pitches, OC(D) confessions, low-budget movie success, and a host of wild, offbeat pitches from visiting Quinnipiac University interns.
The room fills with Quinnipiac University interns, who participate in rapid-fire horror and comedy film pitch sessions, sparring and riffing with the hosts:
Best pitches & bits include:
Riffing on Outsider Art:
The episode is fast-paced, irreverent, and peppered with Bobby and Andrew’s signature off-color jokes, self-mocking industry stories, and supportive yet chaotic mentorship of their intern guests.
“Bobby Can See!” is classic Bad Friends energy: wild observational humor, self-deprecation, playful antagonism, and a true embracing of chaos. From newfound vision to subversive comedy industry dreams, gen Z intern madness, and existential riffs on weather, TV, and bodily hair, it’s an episode bursting with heart and unpredictability.
Essential listen if you enjoy:
[End of Summary]