Bobby Hates Richie

Summary

Bad Friends – "Bobby Hates Richie" (September 8, 2025)

Overview

In this lively episode of Bad Friends, hosts Bobby Lee and Andrew Santino return to the studio after Andrew's month-long absence. The show features their signature banter, weird factoids, and playful jabs, but the central theme quickly emerges around Richie—the show's off-camera team member—and an unusual quest to find him a date to a Weird Al Yankovic concert. The episode takes the audience on a wild ride through rich comedic territory, from conjoined twins to Oasis hot takes, mailbag dating applications, and a unique cast of recurring friends and new faces. If you love the show's unscripted spontaneity and heart, this one is a prime example.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Catching Up and Returning to the Studio (02:13–03:15)

• Andrew has been away for a month, prompting jokes about his changed appearance ("You're pinkish. And your attitude is a little aggro." – Bobby, 02:26).
• Bobby and Andrew engage in physical comedy: tossing a gum or baseball for Andrew to "headbutt," a silly callback to George Bush dodging a shoe ("I headbutted it." – Andrew, 02:36).

2. Rudy's Return and Filipino Moms (03:09–04:14)

• Rudy (Jules) is welcomed back. Andrew and Bobby riff about her mom’s manic cleaning skills and the work ethic of Filipino moms.
• "[Her] mom, she cleans everything." – Andrew (03:39)
• "Can we put up the website? Get a Philippines?" – Bobby (03:51)

3. Oasis: Are They Overrated? (04:32–06:17)

• Andrew provocatively asserts Oasis only has "five good songs," stirring a mock-argument.
  • "You're so out of pocket right now. That's insane." – Bobby (04:49)
  • "They have five good songs. You think Wonderwall..." – Andrew (04:53)
• They list and sing multiple Oasis tracks, with Bobby defending the band's deep cuts.

4. Conjoined Twins, Mirror Twins, and Relationship Questions (06:17–08:43)

• The hosts discuss the news that famous conjoined twins, Abby and Brittany, have a baby.
  • Wild comedy ensues about logistics and feelings in such a relationship ("What if one of them is like, come inside me? The other one's like, God, please don't." – Bobby, 06:45).
• Bobby introduces the concept of mirror image twins in baseball, leading into philosophical and bawdy dating hypotheticals involving conjoined or identical twins.

5. Weird Al vs. Oasis—Who Has More Hits? (09:38–13:33)

• Richie returns to the show, and the group sizes up his "hot legs."
• Discussion of Weird Al’s concert at the Kia Forum:
  • “He did costume changes every single time. He had the fat suit for ‘Fat’—the Amish paradise beard. … Everything you wanted to hear, everything was in there.” – Bobby (10:42)
  • “Weird Al has more hits than Oasis.” – Andrew (11:19)
• Background on Weird Al’s parodies, legal issues, and his impact on pop culture.

6. NPR Parody, Time Travel, and Absurd Histories (14:04–18:55)

• Bobby and Andrew do an NPR parody, interviewing each other about what era they’d time travel to.
• Ideas range from betting on sports games with a stolen almanac (“I’d get an almanac, a sports almanac, and go back in time.” – Bobby, 17:22), to giving Steve Jobs an early million for shares of Apple.
• Rudy (Jules) dryly jokes about flying a plane during 9/11 "just to turn it around."

7. Legendary Getaways: Enron and Escape Artists (19:12–21:01)

• They recall Enron’s collapse, focusing on Liu Long Pi, an executive who escaped legal trouble by marrying a stripper and fleeing with millions.
  • “This guy’s genius. He went to a strip club and grabbed a wife, and got out before it fell.” – Bobby (19:44)

8. Richie’s Date Applications: The Mailbag Gauntlet (21:13–43:50)

A. Scouting the Prospects (21:13–30:35)

• The show pivots to reading dating submissions sent for Richie. The submissions are full of real and imagined quirks, all scrutinized in minute detail.
  • Bobby & Andrew apply mock detective skills to photos and emails, deducing locations, occupations, and even the possible age of the applicants ("702 is the area code for Las Vegas. … That’s Vegas, bro." – Bobby, 26:49).
• Highlights:
  • MILF from Cincinnati: “I’m your girl. I’m a real life MILF… expert at making a date feel like the most fun guy in the room…” – application (27:42).
  • Multiple girls (one an escort, one a waitress, one a potential "party girl") are vetting for the highly-coveted date.

B. Sudden Jealousy, Playful Competition (40:21–42:45)

• The hosts and crew play up jealousy, discussing whether it’s “okay” if a friend dated someone one of them already hooked up with.
  • “We’re not friends. You’re my employee.” – Andrew (40:46)
  • Playful rivalry as Richie lands a particularly attractive submission, with Andrew faux-threatening Richie’s job over it.

C. Date Plans and Reality Show Concepts (42:45–43:50)

• New ideas are floated for a three-way "date-off," with Richie and Andrew competing for a date's affection.

9. Movie Marathons and Taste Test (47:17–49:02)

• Rudy reveals she and Tito Bobby have been binging classics.
  • Movie ratings game: Goodfellas (10/10), Taxi Driver (9/10), No Country for Old Men (10/10), Fargo (1/10, “the guy was just so annoying”—Rudy, 47:59), showing Rudy’s distinct tastes.

10. Show Interns, Living Situations & Gen Z Observations (49:49–67:00)

• A new potential intern, Chris, calls in—a 32-year-old anime-loving, basement-dwelling Dominican from upstate New York.
  • Chris’s interview is charming, awkward, and full of endearing jokes:
    • “What do you call a nation with one leg? Taiwan shoe.” – Chris (57:58)
  • Chris is unanimously voted approved for the show.
• Richie’s background is explored, including his early days in LA, living in Burbank and not owning a car.
• Gen Zer Jen pops in, wearing sunglasses indoors, and the group riffs on being sneaky, dating directors, and classic LA living.

11. Iconic Jabs & Friendship Dynamics (Throughout)

• The hosts roast each other, their crew, and themselves with affection and irreverence.
  • “Do not believe this communist liar.” – Bobby, on whether a girl would date Richie (66:03)
  • “Richie has no car, but do you find him attractive? There’s like a cuteness. Not like a man, but…” – Carlos (65:39)

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• On Oasis:

  • "You have five good songs." – Andrew (04:48)
  • "You're so out of pocket right now. That's insane." – Bobby (04:49)

• On Conjoined Twins:

  • "What if one of them is like, come inside me? The other one's like, God please don't." – Bobby (06:45)
  • "Would you sometimes suck the brother's dick or...?" – Andrew (08:33)

• On Richie’s Date Prospects:

  • "She is a MILF and wants to take you to Weird Al—I'm sold. Drop all the others." – Bobby (27:55)
  • “You got some good submissions, Richie.” – Andrew (41:11)
  • "You’re my employee. You’ll never get my number." – Andrew, faux-possessive (40:46)
  • "I want to see you take that girl out on a date. Bad Friends will give you a budget." – Bobby (67:39)

• On Intern Chris:

  • "What do you call a nation with one leg? Taiwan shoe." – Chris (57:58)
  • “If you come out here, you might be able to live at the studio. Our studio kind of looks like your apartment.” – Bobby (54:14); “He’s a handsome guy. We gotta get him some confidence." – Andrew (61:14)

• Movie ratings:

  • Fargo: "Oh, dude. One. One. Oh." – Rudy (47:59)

• On Friendship:

  • “Dude, what’s going on with you? Out of pocket.” – Andrew (61:38–61:42)

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Important Segments & Timestamps

• Studio Reunion and Banter: (02:13–03:15)
• Oasis Debate: (04:32–06:17)
• Weird Al Concert Recap: (09:38–13:33)
• Mailbag: Richie’s Date Search: (21:13–43:50)
• Chris’s Interview / New Intern: (49:49–54:08, returns again at 56:01–59:33)
• Movie Marathon (Ratings Game): (47:17–49:02)
• Gen Z & Dating, Honesty in LA: (63:26–70:22)

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Tone & Style

Typical of Bad Friends, the humor is raw, quick, and unpredictable. Bobby and Andrew play with taboo ideas but always in the spirit of absurdity and affection. The team’s chemistry shines, whether they’re riffing on legal loopholes, playfully shaming each other’s taste in movies, or mock-bickering over who gets to drive the date to Weird Al.

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For New Listeners

This episode is a great window into the heart and chaos of Bad Friends, especially if you enjoy inside jokes, irreverent and offbeat discussions, and glimpses into the personalities behind the mics. The recurring theme of friendship—often disguised as rivalry—comes through especially strong here.

If you want to skip to the central drama:

• Start at 21:13 for Richie’s dating mailbag and follow to the new intern saga.

If you want peak banter and the show’s core humor:

• Try 04:32–06:17 (Oasis debate), 09:38–13:33 (Weird Al), and 47:17–49:02 (movies).

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Summary Table

| Segment | Timestamps | Highlight | |-------------------------------------|--------------|--------------------------------------------------------------| | Studio banter & return | 02:13–03:15 | Jokes about vacation, new energy | | Rudy’s return, Filipino cleaning | 03:09–04:14 | Filipino mom work ethic riff | | Oasis debate | 04:32–06:17 | “Five good songs” argument | | Conjoined/mirror twins, relationships| 06:17–08:43 | Hypothetical dating scenarios | | Weird Al concert recap | 09:38–13:33 | Costumes, parodies, hits | | Dating submissions (Mailbag) | 21:13–43:50 | MILFs, waitresses, investigator bit | | Movie marathon & Rudy’s ratings | 47:17–49:02 | Fargo: “One. One. Oh.” | | Intern Chris’s interview | 49:49–54:08 | Anime fan basement dweller, jokes, gets voted in | | Gen Z, LA dating, closing banter | 63:26–70:22 | Gen Z sunglasses, honesty, director dating jabs |

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“I want to see you take that girl out on a date. Bad Friends will give you a budget. … We’ll see which one of you lands the girl at the end of the night. That, to me, is more fun.”
— Bobby Lee (68:01)

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If you’re looking for a mix of playful meanness, heart, and the kind of convos only true “bad friends” can pull off, this episode delivers.

Transcript

[Andrew Santino]

This episode is brought to you by Progressive Insurance. Fiscally responsible financial geniuses, monetary magicians.

[Bobby Lee]

These are things people say about drivers.

[Andrew Santino]

Who switch their car insurance to Progressive and save hundreds.

[Bobby Lee]

Visit progressive.com to see if you could.

[Andrew Santino]

Save Progressive Casualty Insurance Company and affiliates.

[Bobby Lee]

Potential savings will vary. Not available in all states or situations. Hey, what's up, you guys? My special premieres this week on Hulu. Hulu. On Hulu. We're on Hulu September 12th.

[Andrew Santino]

And check out Andrew. He's gonna be at the Punchline in San Francisco, one of the best comedy clubs in America.

[Bobby Lee]

I'm gonna go to Brea. Brea. The Brea Improv. I'm in Tempe. I've never.

[Andrew Santino]

I'm. I'm gonna come up with.

[Bobby Lee]

You're gonna come out for that?

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah.

[Bobby Lee]

Good.

[Andrew Santino]

I'm gonna visit my mom, then I'm.

[Bobby Lee]

Gonna be down at the Horseshoe in Hammond, Indiana. I'm gonna be at. In Hanover, Maryland, Atlantic City at Borgata, then Harrison Valley Center. I'm also adding Vegas and another couple of shows. Go to andrewsantino.com for this andrewsantino.com and go watch a special this Friday on Hulu. You better believe it, pal. I took my dad to a Monday Night Football game, and then we went out and just got hammered afterwards. And we're sitting at the bar, just my dad and I just like. Like, just leaning against the bar, and he looks over at me, you know, like, how dad can look over you sometimes? Gives me that smile, you know, that twinkle in his eye. I'm waiting for him to say he loves me, you know? And he goes, I'm pissing right now. Hey, good girl. Do y' all want to shoot guns just right out back? Yes, Queen. Yes, Queen. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. I'm Ron Weasley. I'm Ron Weasley. I'm sorry. I don't even like that one. Let's move on. You two are bad friends. Who are these two idiots?

[Andrew Santino]

White dude. Two are disgusting. Oh, you two are something.

[Bobby Lee]

We're bad friends.

[Andrew Santino]

We can be heroes. Just for one day. Ms. Bowie, good night. Hello. Welcome to wow.

[Bobby Lee]

What?

[Andrew Santino]

What? What? What a pleasure to be here.

[Bobby Lee]

What a pleasure to be here to be back in the studio.

[Andrew Santino]

Andrew's been gone for so long.

[Bobby Lee]

One month.

[Andrew Santino]

We don't even know how. What he looked like anymore. Look the same was what now you're pinkish.

[Bobby Lee]

Oh, I got a sunburn yesterday.

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah, you're pinkish. And your attitude is a little aggro.

[Bobby Lee]

I'm aggro.

[Andrew Santino]

Now you spit a gum at me and guess what I did to it.

[Bobby Lee]

You have any proof that this happened?

[Andrew Santino]

No, but what did I do?

[Bobby Lee]

Headbutted it.

[Andrew Santino]

I head bit butted away.

[Bobby Lee]

You are a soccer man.

[Andrew Santino]

Like George. What? Like what George Bush did with the shoe, Right? I, I, I, I locked in at the gum.

[Bobby Lee]

You're good.

[Andrew Santino]

And I saw it in slow motion. I headbutted it.

[Bobby Lee]

See?

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah, yeah.

[Bobby Lee]

Here.

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah, Here.

[Bobby Lee]

I have a packet here. Ready?

[Andrew Santino]

Go. Well, you can.

[Bobby Lee]

Oh, sorry.

[Andrew Santino]

You gotta put it. Yeah, yeah.

[Bobby Lee]

Let me get one more.

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah, Baseball. Use the baseball, but don't throw it. Lob it.

[Bobby Lee]

This is softer.

[Andrew Santino]

Okay. Go.

[Bobby Lee]

Really good.

[Andrew Santino]

Look at that.

[Bobby Lee]

Really good.

[Andrew Santino]

Did you see that, dude?

[Bobby Lee]

Wow. Did you see that, Jules? Rudy. Jules is back.

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah, at the Korean spot. When I see nuts in my face. Korean nuts. I can do it, dude.

[Bobby Lee]

Rudy. What's going on? Welcome back to the show. Hello.

[Andrew Santino]

Hello.

[Bobby Lee]

Energy through the roof.

[Andrew Santino]

God. Oh, my God. Hi.

[Bobby Lee]

Top hasn't watched, hasn't washed your car since you gave it to her.

[Andrew Santino]

I know.

[Bobby Lee]

Not kidding. We were right next to each other and I was like, that is as dirty as you left it.

[Andrew Santino]

As soon as your mom left this morning, I woke up in shivers and in a sweat.

[Bobby Lee]

Why?

[Andrew Santino]

Our house is going down. Her mom. If anyone listening right now, you want Filipino in your house? Her mom, she's cleans everything.

[Bobby Lee]

Can we put up the website? Get a Philippines?

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah. You had a Filipino dude. The, the way you fold the. You know, the socks and the underwear.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah.

[Andrew Santino]

Future.

[Bobby Lee]

Where did your mom go? Back to the Philippines.

[Andrew Santino]

She's gone.

[Bobby Lee]

Wow. Ice, huh? Got her.

[Andrew Santino]

Well, she was worried about it. I called twice. Yeah. What, for the challenge? Yeah.

[Bobby Lee]

Welcome to ICE. To get someone deported, press one.

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Bobby Lee]

You are 36 in line. Please hold.

[Andrew Santino]

And people hold for hours. They can't wait. You know Oasis tickets, They'll hold on for five hours.

[Bobby Lee]

How much those tickets going for right now? Oasis, what do you think? What's the average? Let's guess what the average Resale tickets are all sold out if we want to go to the Rose Bowl. What do you think that costs for, like an average ticket? I'm guessing like 300, 400 for shitty.

[Andrew Santino]

Can I say something controversial?

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah. May I? Yeah.

[Andrew Santino]

You have five good songs.

[Bobby Lee]

You're. You're so out of pocket right now. That's insane.

[Andrew Santino]

They have five good songs. You think Wonderwall.

[Bobby Lee]

Keep going. Bring up their fucking album. You're telling me they only have five good songs?

[Andrew Santino]

I think so.

[Bobby Lee]

That whole album was good.

[Andrew Santino]

What's that main album, Don't Look Back in Anger. Good song. Super Wonderwalk. Supersonic. Great song.

[Bobby Lee]

Don't Go away.

[Andrew Santino]

Champagne. Supernova.

[Bobby Lee]

Cigarettes and alcohol. Never heard of that song on Definitely. Maybe.

[Andrew Santino]

Sing me cigarette right now Boom. Send me cigarettes and alcohol right now.

[Bobby Lee]

Cigarettes and alcohol.

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah.

[Bobby Lee]

Fight me in this school.

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah, Sing me. Roll with it. Roll with it.

[Bobby Lee]

Just roll with it. Just roll with it. How about Dixie?

[Andrew Santino]

London?

[Bobby Lee]

Digsby's? Digsy's.

[Andrew Santino]

What are you gonna do? We're gonna rol. Yeah. You don't know any of this shit.

[Bobby Lee]

How about fucking in the bushes? Fucking in the bushes. Oh, you like Morning Glory?

[Andrew Santino]

Supersonic. Okay. Morning Glory. Okay. My point is, is that five.

[Bobby Lee]

She's electric.

[Andrew Santino]

She's electric. She's electric in the morning she buzzes with electricity.

[Bobby Lee]

Actually. The Importance of Being Idol is one of their best.

[Andrew Santino]

Bristol. Let me hear it.

[Bobby Lee]

The Importance of Being Idol is one of their best songs. And he actually said that's his favorite song. Let me bring up something that's wild.

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah.

[Bobby Lee]

Because I learned something this week. Those conjoined twin girls had a baby.

[Andrew Santino]

No. Abby and Britney.

[Bobby Lee]

Is that their names?

[Andrew Santino]

Brittany and Abby.

[Bobby Lee]

They had a baby.

[Andrew Santino]

There's no way Brittany and Abby had a baby.

[Bobby Lee]

They did. Dog. Look at conjoined twins Abby and Brittany I've seen carrying their baby. So the guy's only married to one of the girls.

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah.

[Bobby Lee]

How does that work? And we had to Google it. They share a vagina.

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah.

[Bobby Lee]

So she. The other one has to look away when they're hooking up.

[Andrew Santino]

The other one doesn't get the name. It's. She has no say.

[Bobby Lee]

Is that what it is?

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Bobby Lee]

What if one of them is like, come inside me? The other one's like, God, please don't.

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Bobby Lee]

Because they might have mixed feelings about it now.

[Andrew Santino]

It'd be wild. If their baby is conjoined.

[Bobby Lee]

Oh, my God.

[Andrew Santino]

What if they do three? It's three conjoined and then they. One upped. Right.

[Bobby Lee]

Whoa.

[Andrew Santino]

Their parent or one up. Their moms.

[Bobby Lee]

Mom and dad.

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah. Yeah. Wow.

[Bobby Lee]

Because I learned that this. There's a pitcher that plays in mlb and he's what's called a mirror image identical twin. Look this up. This is insane. I thought. I thought identical twins was it. I thought mirroring is like the same. No. A mirror image identical twin. Yeah. Look at that. Taylor and Tyler Rogers are both baseball players. So his left side is his right side. So if you looked at each other, it would be like looking exactly in a mirror. Isn't that.

[Andrew Santino]

I Don't get it. Explain it to me.

[Bobby Lee]

Mirror image.

[Andrew Santino]

Meaning, like, I'm looking at you.

[Bobby Lee]

My right side is your left side, so it's mirror. It's not. It's not flipped.

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah, but if I was at your left side, people would think that you had a stroke.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah.

[Andrew Santino]

Why is this ice.

[Bobby Lee]

Squinting. My left side is Korean stroke. Yeah, but their mirror image, identical twins, which happens when the. It splits at a certain time, and if it splits a second later, they become conjoined. So they just miss becoming conjoined.

[Andrew Santino]

Whoa.

[Bobby Lee]

By a millisecond, I think.

[Andrew Santino]

Wow.

[Bobby Lee]

Isn't that crazy?

[Andrew Santino]

That's crazy.

[Bobby Lee]

What? Would you. Would you ever date. You ever date an identical twin? I feel like I'd be down. Yeah. It's kind of just like a threesome, but, like, with just one dick, she goes right for it.

[Andrew Santino]

What do you mean? What do you mean, threesome with one dick?

[Bobby Lee]

She says she's getting two for one.

[Andrew Santino]

All right. Oh, you mean two conjoined twins.

[Bobby Lee]

I'm talking about identical.

[Andrew Santino]

Identical. You were, like, conjoined. Yeah, yeah.

[Bobby Lee]

I'd be down to conjoin. Well, they. They don't. They don't have two dicks.

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah.

[Bobby Lee]

One dick. Yeah, yeah. But four balls, oddly enough.

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah, that's fine. Yeah. A lot more to play with, I guess.

[Andrew Santino]

Now, if they had two dicks. Right. Would you sometimes suck the brother's dick or. No.

[Bobby Lee]

Maybe just caress.

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Because you feel bad. Because you have empathy.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah. You feel bad.

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah. If I was the other. If I was the other. But I would play. I get a switch.

[Bobby Lee]

Dude, I thought of you at the airport. A guy had a handheld and it was going through his glasses. What is that?

[Andrew Santino]

What do you. I'm not the president of Sony.

[Bobby Lee]

You're a video game. What are you talking about? Aren't you Samsung?

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Bobby Lee]

No, A guy had a pair of glasses.

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah. I'm not you.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah, that's not you.

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah, yeah.

[Bobby Lee]

A guy had a pair of glasses at the airport. He was sitting, waiting for the plane, and he was like this. He had a controller and he was looking up just with his. With glasses.

[Andrew Santino]

Wow.

[Bobby Lee]

What is that? What console is that? I've never seen that in my entire rich nose. Richie, do you know? No, I don't. Well, then get the out of here. God damn it, Richie.

[Andrew Santino]

Don't nod your head like you know.

[Bobby Lee]

Richie's back. Did we not build him a cage? I thought we were gonna build him.

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah, Richie's back. He's been working out, too. Look.

[Bobby Lee]

Oh, you know how it is.

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. There it is.

[Bobby Lee]

Hey, baby. Oh, my.

[Andrew Santino]

Oh, my God. Dude.

[Bobby Lee]

Richie. Richie, go sit in that chair. Go sit in that chair.

[Andrew Santino]

You like Rich? You love the Rich.

[Bobby Lee]

I love Rich dog.

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah. Jules, you know Richie?

[Bobby Lee]

I've met Richie.

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah. Yeah. How. Yeah, yeah.

[Bobby Lee]

Richie's got his.

[Andrew Santino]

His. Let's judge his legs.

[Bobby Lee]

I didn't know you were that hairy. I wouldn't have assumed he was that hairy.

[Andrew Santino]

Dude. You have Hugh Jackman's.

[Bobby Lee]

It's kind of hot.

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Bobby Lee]

Wait, that's. Hot legs. You think he's got hot legs?

[Andrew Santino]

Do you think that Hugh Jackman would have those legs?

[Bobby Lee]

I'll get that. No, that's more. Gerard Butler. That's Jerry Butler.

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah, that's Jerry Butler. But it's, like, really nice. Manly. It's the upper body you need to work on. You have Michael Phelps upper body. Yeah, yeah.

[Bobby Lee]

Usually I'm like, the upper body's the cell.

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah.

[Bobby Lee]

No, no.

[Andrew Santino]

And you have a school shooter's face. You.

[Bobby Lee]

Do you think the upper body is. Is your best. I think it's all kind of the charm. I think my face is sort of the. I think it's a little. I'm a whole package, you know? Right. You're like a package that they threw over the fence now.

[Andrew Santino]

Did you go to the Weird Al show?

[Bobby Lee]

Of course I did. I got my shirt on right here. It was the best thing ever.

[Andrew Santino]

Was it a good show?

[Bobby Lee]

Oh, my God. It was amazing. He did costume changes, like, every single time. He had the fat suit for fat.

[Andrew Santino]

He had the Whoa.

[Bobby Lee]

The Amish paradise beard.

[Andrew Santino]

It was whoa.

[Bobby Lee]

And he plays all the hits. He doesn't play new songs. No, I mean, a couple new. But, like, all the hits, Everything you wanted to hear, everything was in there.

[Andrew Santino]

Crazy. Wow.

[Bobby Lee]

Did he.

[Andrew Santino]

How many people? A lot.

[Bobby Lee]

What was that? It was that Kia Forum. Oh.

[Andrew Santino]

Oh.

[Bobby Lee]

It felt like. Not sold out, but, like, pretty sold out. Might have been sold out. A lot of people in the Forum, dude. He's.

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah. There he was.

[Andrew Santino]

He's the man.

[Bobby Lee]

God. Weird Al is the man. We love you, Weird Al.

[Andrew Santino]

We love Weird.

[Bobby Lee]

Now you think Weird Al is better than Oasis?

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah. More hits.

[Bobby Lee]

He does have more hits. Yeah.

[Andrew Santino]

The Yoda song.

[Bobby Lee]

Just Eat it.

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah, Just eat it.

[Bobby Lee]

Gangsters. Amish Paradise.

[Andrew Santino]

I've met him before.

[Bobby Lee]

He's super nice, white and nerdy. Polka face. I mean, I can. These are all bangers. My baloney. My bologna. So good.

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah. It's amazing.

[Bobby Lee]

You know, this is one of those guys. He will last Forever and ever and ever.

[Andrew Santino]

Forever.

[Bobby Lee]

Right. He'll.

[Andrew Santino]

He's clean.

[Bobby Lee]

Family fun.

[Andrew Santino]

You know who he is?

[Bobby Lee]

No.

[Andrew Santino]

Okay.

[Bobby Lee]

I don't know Weird Al. No.

[Andrew Santino]

No.

[Bobby Lee]

Oh, my God.

[Andrew Santino]

You never heard of Weird Al Yankovic? Wow. Well, he's a guy who does parody songs.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah. He does popular songs. He started in, like, the late 90s, and he would do popular songs, then remake them. Like there's a song called Beat it by Michael Jackson. Just beat it down. And he wrote a song called Just Eat It. Eat it, Eat it, Eat it, Eat It.

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah.

[Bobby Lee]

And he. He got sued no less than a thousand times. Right. Over the years. No, he would always get the artist permission. Oh, he did. I thought he got sued for a couple of times by people I'm pretty sure, like, for is. It might have been Amish Paradise. I'm pretty sure he's pissed at him. Weird Al settled a lawsuit Sony Music, for undisclosed amount in 2013, ending a $5 million claim that the record label had unpaid, underpaid him royalties. Oh, that's for him.

[Andrew Santino]

For him.

[Bobby Lee]

But Amish paradise looked that up. Wasn't cool. Coolio. I think he was not a fan. Yeah. Coolio hated it. Yeah. There's like parody loopholes or something like that. They're always. You can parody anything. That's true way around it. It is true. There's loopholes to everything. The controversy, a misunderstanding between Kulio and Weird Al regarding permission to parody his Gangster's Paradise. He, Coolio initially felt disrespected and publicly stated he never gave permission. Yankovic believed he had received approval through the record label. Dispute ultimately cooled down. Coolio later admitted his reaction was wrong because he probably. It only probably sold more albums for him. That's the irony. I bet you that just resells more albums for the original. Oh, totally. I only knew Amish paradise for years. You never knew Gangster Paradise. I didn't know Gangster's paradise for a while. Weird Al was like my introduction to half of these songs. So disrespectful to Insanely disrespectful.

[Andrew Santino]

Wow.

[Bobby Lee]

It's an honor to Weird Al, though. Well, you're weird out. You're a weird alien.

[Andrew Santino]

I am.

[Bobby Lee]

You're a weird alien. What is. Does he call his fans something? Weirdos. I'll take Weirdo's kind of a cool one. I kind of like that. Weirdos. If he's not doing that, he should. Yeah, well, he jumps on every other bandwagon thing. I'm surprised. What is it? The ironic thing about Gangsters Paradise It's. It's kind of a parody of Pastime paradise by Stevie Wonder. So he stole it, too? Well, every rap song has samples from other things, right? Pretty heavily sampled, including the title. So what, does Stevie Wonder have beef with Coolio? He just might. Wow. Didn't see that coming.

[Andrew Santino]

Nerd talk.

[Bobby Lee]

It's cool Talk. What is.

[Andrew Santino]

What, what do we. What is going on here? Do we. Grandma's basement.

[Bobby Lee]

Nerd talk. Welcome back to npr. Today we're going to be just exploring the past of albums and where they came from. Today my guest is Richie.

[Andrew Santino]

Richie. Hi.

[Bobby Lee]

Hi, Richie. Hi. Happy to be here. Too loud for npr.

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah, I'm really happy to be here. Yeah.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah. Very good. Very good.

[Andrew Santino]

My name. My name is Devon M. Lewis, and I have my podcast part. My radio partner, and I'm 40 Schoenfield. Yeah.

[Bobby Lee]

Cassie. Nice to meet you. Nice to meet you.

[Andrew Santino]

Nice to meet you. And I have a question for you. If you had a time machine, you know me, what era would you time back to? It's a fun question that we always ask our guests. We always.

[Bobby Lee]

We say that to all of them.

[Andrew Santino]

And we have also our third mic here.

[Bobby Lee]

Shira, Oklahoma.

[Andrew Santino]

Shira Oklahoma. And she's not from Oklahoma. That's the. That's the gag.

[Bobby Lee]

That's the gag.

[Andrew Santino]

The gag. Yeah, the gag. She's from Tennessee.

[Bobby Lee]

She's from Tennessee.

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah. Anyway, Oklahoma. Anyway, what time? What era?

[Bobby Lee]

What era? The 1980s, of course. I feel like all the movies came out then. Oh, wow.

[Andrew Santino]

All the movies. All the movies.

[Bobby Lee]

Like, what movies?

[Andrew Santino]

Let me guess. You love Gremlins. What? Yeah. Weird Science. Is that your gift?

[Bobby Lee]

Science is great. Yeah.

[Andrew Santino]

It's amazing.

[Bobby Lee]

Ghostbusters, the original one was that. What was Ghostbusters 1?

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah, Ghostbusters 7.

[Bobby Lee]

Full metal jacket, late 70s. Full metal jacket's amazing. Ghostbusters 84. That's right. In 84 and 84.

[Andrew Santino]

You know, one time I didn't masturbate for, like, three weeks straight. And when I did ejaculate, the Secret of the Ooze, that marshmallow monster out of my penis. It was very interesting. Yeah. Marshmallow man came out of my penis.

[Bobby Lee]

That was a big thing in the 80s. I feel like ooze movies. Do you guys know that, like, a lot of movies have ooze in them? There was a lot of ooze movies. There's all about ooze.

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah. Yeah. Are you an Ooze fan? Just in general.

[Bobby Lee]

I wouldn't say I'm an ooze fan.

[Andrew Santino]

More fast, you know, I bet you money you put a lot of gravy on your biscuits.

[Bobby Lee]

I like to put some gravy.

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. And you only donuts if they have, like, a little filling in there, Right?

[Bobby Lee]

Boston cream's the best.

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah, yeah. And I bet you, you do this in that little hole where they put the creaming. The cream. You probably squeeze the donut so this. So the cream squirts out a little bit, Right? And you squirt it in your mouth. Do you not? Yeah, yeah.

[Bobby Lee]

He's not wrong. Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles. The Blob.

[Andrew Santino]

Great film.

[Bobby Lee]

It's a lot of ooze movies.

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah.

[Bobby Lee]

Well, Gak was big from Nickelodeon. We were coming off the era of Gak and Slop and fl. It was a popular thing to put in. In pop culture.

[Andrew Santino]

You know what I would do if I had a time machine? And we've talked about this, right? Yeah, yeah. Sharad. Is that your name?

[Bobby Lee]

Huh?

[Andrew Santino]

Your name?

[Bobby Lee]

Sure. What's my name? Yeah, What's. What's my name? I've been on this show for 30.

[Andrew Santino]

I know.

[Bobby Lee]

And you don't know.

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah, yeah. What's my name? What's my name? Yeah. Anyway, anyway, we've talked about this. What I would do is I would. I would get the recipes for OxyContin, all these opiate drugs, go back to the 1800s, New York, and have a little stand, you know, I mean. And I would sell these pills. I would make a fortune, I think.

[Bobby Lee]

Smart.

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah. What would you do in a time society? Yeah. What would you do as a time machine?

[Bobby Lee]

I had an idea once. It's pretty offbeat, but I would go get an almanac, a sports almanac, and go back in time.

[Andrew Santino]

Oh, I see. What? Let me guess. Can I guess? Yeah, right. You would bet on games, you'd already know. You'd be right. Yeah. That's interesting.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah.

[Andrew Santino]

That's a very good thing. You know what I would also do is I would find Steve Jobs early when he was living in the garage developing stuff.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah.

[Andrew Santino]

And I would give him a million dollars ago. Let's just get. Anything you do. I'll get 10%. Your company.

[Bobby Lee]

10%.

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah, yeah.

[Bobby Lee]

Smart.

[Andrew Santino]

And the YouTube, that Chinese guy from the YouTube.

[Bobby Lee]

Is that the same guy as Sony?

[Andrew Santino]

No, it's not the same guy. Yeah. What would you do? Oklahoma. Ms. Oklahoma.

[Bobby Lee]

Ms. Oklahoma. I would try to ride the plane from 2001. 9, 11.

[Andrew Santino]

My God. And to save.

[Bobby Lee]

And would just turn around.

[Andrew Santino]

Oh, you would? Do you have a pilot's license?

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah. Can you imagine? Rudy gets on one of the flights from 9 11, she just stands up and goes, turn around. Nothing happens.

[Andrew Santino]

Nothing happens.

[Bobby Lee]

Turn around.

[Andrew Santino]

Turn around.

[Bobby Lee]

That's it. You wouldn't do anything. You would just try to make them turn it around.

[Andrew Santino]

You have one shot. That's what you do. Get on that plane.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah. Maybe convince, like, maybe like a blow job or something.

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah, yeah, that's it. That's it.

[Bobby Lee]

He's like, well, what should we do now? We're going to get 35 virgins when we get up.

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah.

[Bobby Lee]

There isn't one single Chinese guy who owns YouTube. It's subs. It's a subsidiary Google.

[Andrew Santino]

No. Who's that Asian guy? I would go to that Asian guy. I would go to Steve Chen and go, hey, I'll give you some money. Just give me 10 of your company. And back then they probably do it.

[Bobby Lee]

Of course. What is Steve Chen doing?

[Andrew Santino]

Now?

[Bobby Lee]

See, this is the kind of thing, these guys are quiet. They develop Taiwanese, American.

[Andrew Santino]

Let me guess, let me guess. Yeah, he's riddled with white.

[Bobby Lee]

Oh, my God. Yeah. Just pouring it down.

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah.

[Bobby Lee]

Chen dog. Is he married? Oh, yeah, he's got a spouse. He's married. He's happily married with two kids.

[Andrew Santino]

Because you know that Enron. You remember Enron?

[Bobby Lee]

Love Enron. Big Enron.

[Andrew Santino]

Really?

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah, huge.

[Andrew Santino]

So, I mean, all of them went to prison, but there was one Asian dude with an accent.

[Bobby Lee]

Didn't go.

[Andrew Santino]

No, he got out early a year earlier, before the investigation started. And him and a stripper, you know, I mean, he met a white girl stripper, this guy Lulong Pie. He got a white stripper from a, like, strip club, right. Goes be. Be my wife. Right. They took all this money and they bought all this property in like, I think, Oklahoma or somewhere like that.

[Bobby Lee]

Genius.

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah, he was a genius. And they. They never got him. Did he still stay with.

[Bobby Lee]

Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. There's Lou Long right now.

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah. What's. He's still with the stripper, dude.

[Bobby Lee]

$270 million after being forced to sell his shares to satisfy his divorce settlement two months before the. This guy's genius.

[Andrew Santino]

He's a genius, dude.

[Bobby Lee]

L. Pong.

[Andrew Santino]

That's a great documentary.

[Bobby Lee]

That's Liu PI.

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah, that's Lupi, dude.

[Bobby Lee]

No, that's him.

[Andrew Santino]

That's him.

[Bobby Lee]

PI was a senior executive at Enron.

[Andrew Santino]

Look at him. He got out. He. He sensed it. He knew, you know, what we doing right here is very, very wrong. Yeah, I mean, I have to. I'm gonna go to strip club, Right? I know this white girl very Smart.

[Bobby Lee]

To go to a strip club and grab.

[Andrew Santino]

Causing my. I'm. I'm calling my cousin. I'm him.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah.

[Andrew Santino]

Hello? Rang.

[Bobby Lee]

Hello?

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah, I did so many wrong thing going around.

[Bobby Lee]

What are you gonna do about it?

[Andrew Santino]

What do you think I should do?

[Bobby Lee]

I don't know. You want to go titty bar for ranch.

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Bobby Lee]

Imagine they just went there for lunch.

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Bobby Lee]

That struck the idea.

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah.

[Bobby Lee]

That's like social networks. Something came from Nothing.

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah.

[Bobby Lee]

This guy goes to a strip club and gets to go. That's genius. Yeah, because by the way, they need that. She obviously needs help getting out of her situation. He needs help.

[Andrew Santino]

It's the. It's pretty pink.

[Bobby Lee]

It's pretty in pink.

[Andrew Santino]

It's pretty and pink.

[Bobby Lee]

It is pretty in pink.

[Andrew Santino]

Pretty and.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah, that's kind of the same story.

[Andrew Santino]

But he's trying to save them. Don't you want. Do you have a savior kind of.

[Bobby Lee]

A thing or no savior mentality? Yeah, I think we want to help people a lot. I don't think we can save most. Yeah, like, we want to help Richie. We want to try to get Richie laid.

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Bobby Lee]

Richie, do you.

[Andrew Santino]

We have some.

[Bobby Lee]

We got some girls.

[Andrew Santino]

We have some girls. You want to do that now?

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah. Let me see. Let's see if. Put on your caner so you can hear some. This girl says. Serena says I'm chill.

[Andrew Santino]

I want to say this before I know you're. I'm sorry, but Carlos said beforehand that I'm going to be mad because these are some of the girl. These girls I wouldn't be able to get.

[Bobby Lee]

That's not true.

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah. Yeah. So let's just see if you're right, Carlos. DraftKings sportsbook NFL season is rolling, baby. Your season, your shot. The NFL season is rolling and every touchdown can bring you closer to a payout with draftkings Sportsbook, an official sports betting partner of the NFL.

[Bobby Lee]

NFL I'm so excited is here. I am very excited to see what happens with the Chicago Bears. But from the first touchdown to. To TD props the thrill of live and game betting, every snap is loaded with opportunity. I'm telling you, I think draftking sportsbook might be the best way to bet and this is good for new customers. Just bet $5, get 200 in in bonus bets instantly, plus go over 200 off NFL Sunday Ticket from YouTube and YouTube TV, which I love. So, hey, just like on week one, Philly is plus one against Dallas. Who knows how that's going to go? I do like Dallas and Philade.

[Andrew Santino]

I think It'll be a tiebreaker.

[Bobby Lee]

You think it's going to be. It's going to go down to the wire. Yeah.

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Bobby Lee]

All right. Very good.

[Andrew Santino]

And there's going to be an off. Offsize interference.

[Bobby Lee]

There's going to be an offsize interference.

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Bobby Lee]

So Chicago Bears are plus one over Minnesota, which sounds good because it's in Chicago.

[Andrew Santino]

I have my opinion, but.

[Bobby Lee]

And I like that it's in Chicago, my hometown in Soldier Field. Can the Minnesota Vik Queens handle that? We'll see. Download the Draft King sportsbook app and use the code Bad friends. That's code Bad friends to get 200 in bonus bets instantly when you place your first five dollar bet plus over 200 off NFL Sunday ticket from YouTube and YouTube TV in partnership with DraftKings. The crown is yours. Gambling problem. Call 1-800-GAMBLER NEW YORK Call 877-8-HOPE NY or text open why 467-369 in Connecticut? Help us available problem gambling. Call 888-789-7777 or visit ccpg.org Please play responsibly on behalf of Boot Hill Casino and Resort in Kansas. 21 plus. Age and eligibility varies by jurisdiction. Fees may apply in Illinois, void. In Ontario. Bonus bets expire seven days after issuing. C Sports work on DraftKings.com promos NFL Sunday Ticket offer for new subscribers only and auto renews until canceled. Digital games and commercial use excluded Restricted. Apply additional NFL Sunday ticket terms at YouTube.com NFL Sunday Ticket/ terms limited time.

[Andrew Santino]

After Let me say I get, you know, because I'm, I'm on some, you know, injections, you know, you're an injector. And at night I get hunger pain sometimes. Right? And what I do is I do a little bit of kachava here. I have chocolate, I have chai, I have matcha, strawberry, vanilla. And now I've never had this before. We have sweet, creamy, surprising stacked strawberry. That's what it says. That looks really gonna be. You know what? I guarantee you it's gonna be sweet.

[Bobby Lee]

And creamy and surprisingly stacked.

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah, yeah. And I'm gonna say this, it's so you, it satisfies your hunger.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah.

[Andrew Santino]

You know, you're getting the right nutrients, you know, I mean, and minerals and whatnot. You know, I mean. And it is delicious.

[Bobby Lee]

It's delicious.

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Bobby Lee]

But the best part about kachavi, you can, you can add it with frozen fruit, you can add it to your coffee, throw in peanut butter, you can, you can mix it with a bunch of different kind of stuff 85 + superfoods.

[Andrew Santino]

Andrew so nutrients and plant based ingredients.

[Bobby Lee]

25 grams of 100 plant based protein + 6 grams of fiber. Six indulgent flavors like Bob said. Chocolate, vanilla, chai, matcha, coconut, acai and their newest flavor strawberry. Contains nutrients to support your strength, energy, digestion, metabolism, cognition and immunity. It is so good. Mixes into a smooth and creamy shake. You got to get.

[Andrew Santino]

You've never tasted strawberry like this. Go to kachava.com and use code bad friends for 15 off your next order.

[Bobby Lee]

That's Kachava K A C-H-A-V-A.com code bad friends for 15 off rocket money.

[Andrew Santino]

You know what? You know you saved me so much money with Rocket Money.

[Bobby Lee]

Thank you.

[Andrew Santino]

Because I have so many subscriptions on my phone.

[Bobby Lee]

Too many.

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah, yeah. With meditation apps. They charge me every year and I don't use anymore. I don't know.

[Bobby Lee]

I don't know anything. I know that everyone at home has apps they don't know that they're paying for. And Rocket Money is a personal finance app that helps find and cancel your unwanted subscriptions, monitors your spending and helps lower your bills so you can grow your savings.

[Andrew Santino]

Rocket Money shows you all your expenses in one place, including subscriptions you forgot about. If you see a subscription you no longer want, Rocket Money will help you cancel it.

[Bobby Lee]

Well, the best part is they give you this dashboard. It lays out your total financial picture. We went through it with Bobby and we saw all the disaster paying for.

[Andrew Santino]

It was a disaster.

[Bobby Lee]

It was actually kind of sad. It was funny, but sad. But the best part is Rocket Money is there even going to try to negotiate to lower your bills for you. The app automatically scans those bills. Find the opportunities to save and they'll do the talking. You don't got to worry about it.

[Andrew Santino]

Rocket Money's 5 million members have saved a total of 500 million in canceled subscriptions, with members saving up to $740 a year when they use all the apps. Premium premium features.

[Bobby Lee]

You got to cancel your unwanted subscriptions or reach your financial goals faster with Rocket Money. Go to RocketMoney.com Bad Friends today.

[Andrew Santino]

That's RocketMoney.com Bad Friends RocketMoney.com Bad Friends.

[Bobby Lee]

This girl said she'd drive tonight for you. This is Serena Nicole Mann. I mean, I'm pretty flattered. She'd drive right down. Pick me up. I don't have to call the Uber or nothing.

[Andrew Santino]

I mean, is this her?

[Bobby Lee]

That's her.

[Andrew Santino]

While cute.

[Bobby Lee]

Pewdiepie. What do you think, Rich? I'm Pretty flattered. I like her. This is up your alley.

[Andrew Santino]

Up your alley. How old is her? She Serena?

[Bobby Lee]

She doesn't say. I don't know. But hold on.

[Andrew Santino]

What does she do for a living? I got another.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah, there's not enough information on this one.

[Andrew Santino]

I feel like just based on look.

[Bobby Lee]

So you would do it based off of looks? Yeah, but based off of. I don't know. Her slow investigating tells you she lives in Vegas. And I'll tell you why.

[Andrew Santino]

Why?

[Bobby Lee]

Why do you think? How did I guess that?

[Andrew Santino]

Let me see. Based on this photo?

[Bobby Lee]

No, I base it on something else.

[Andrew Santino]

Okay, go get all the photos I want to see. I want to be an investigator. The sun, it's extra sunny there.

[Bobby Lee]

It's extra sunny.

[Andrew Santino]

No. Why?

[Bobby Lee]

Well, go back to the email.

[Andrew Santino]

Oh, on the email.

[Bobby Lee]

702. 702 is the area code for Las Vegas. And I put this together knowing. Because when she said. When she said, I'll drive to Cali tonight, I thought, it's got to be a close enough place. It's got to be Nevada. 702 is Vegas, bro.

[Andrew Santino]

What are you doing in this job, dude? There's crimes that need to be solved, bro.

[Bobby Lee]

I don't do that anymore. I told Billy I don't do that.

[Andrew Santino]

No talking, jabbering with that.

[Bobby Lee]

You're the FBI calling.

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah, yeah. Come on, man. We got some murders.

[Bobby Lee]

I can't do that no more. I told you. Not after my brother.

[Andrew Santino]

I'm sorry for saying best friend.

[Bobby Lee]

He is. I love him. Oh, a date with Richie. This is a mill from Cincinnati.

[Andrew Santino]

Oh, mill for the mill for that. Let me see the photo.

[Bobby Lee]

Well, zoom in first. Oh, yeah. Wait, what? Oh, my God. Oh, my God. Wait, I'm selling her more. Pass the last one. This one's up, dude. Dude, this one's up.

[Andrew Santino]

Richie. Richard Richie. What about this one?

[Bobby Lee]

Bad friends. I hear you're looking for someone to take Richie to the Weird Al concert. I think I'm your girl. I'm a real life MILF with a pretty awesome personality, sense of humor, and a soft spot for nerdy guys. Happen to be an. I just so happen to be an expert, which means I know how to make the date feel like the most fun guy in the room. And I have the wardrobe to prove it. Picture Richie watching, walking in with me on his arm. He gets to look like the king of nerds. I come to party with this with said king, and everyone wins. I keep it playful, classy, totally unforgettable. Just naughty enough to make a story. He'll never stop telling Candy.

[Andrew Santino]

We're flying her out. Let's do this. We're going to fly around me, we're going to fly her out.

[Bobby Lee]

She's got to be careful with that kind of shoes on. That kind of slippery. I mean, that's slippery out there by the way.

[Andrew Santino]

Tsunami comes.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah, be careful. So Candy's an escort and would love to take you out. I'm interested in sending you out. Go on to the next bathroom photo. First thing I noticed here has.

[Andrew Santino]

Oh my God.

[Bobby Lee]

She has one of those chalk. Those chalk writing bathrooms. You can write on the wall there. But that's a hotel. How do I know that's a hotel? The tiles above the tub, it's a hotel. And also the pre established soap dispensers.

[Andrew Santino]

Give me the best investigator over.

[Bobby Lee]

Look at the soap dispensers. There's a hotel. So this is a Holiday Inn.

[Andrew Santino]

How do you know that's Jimmy? Because she was murdered.

[Bobby Lee]

She was murdered at a holiday two.

[Andrew Santino]

Hours after this photo was taken. Explain to me, Jimmy. Jimmy, how do you know this is a Holiday Inn?

[Bobby Lee]

Because I've been to a lot of Holiday Inn.

[Andrew Santino]

Oh, I see. What else, Jimmy? How did the intruder get coming into the bathroom? He was murdered in the bathroom.

[Bobby Lee]

Intruder. Knock, knock, knock. Then said housekeeping. She said go away. They continue.

[Andrew Santino]

He probably went through the door. Right, Jimmy?

[Bobby Lee]

Front door. Yeah.

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah. Well, there's only one door there in the bathroom.

[Bobby Lee]

Oh, with her you can use the back door.

[Andrew Santino]

Oh, you can't. Oh, I see.

[Bobby Lee]

I made it very clear.

[Andrew Santino]

I see, Jimmy.

[Bobby Lee]

Very clear.

[Andrew Santino]

What else? All right.

[Bobby Lee]

Anyway, by the way, Richie, let's get a poll of this. Is this. Would you go out with this lady? Oh, 100%. This is another young lady. Let's see what she said.

[Andrew Santino]

Friends, push past. Push was all right already right now what? High teeth functionality.

[Bobby Lee]

High teeth functionality.

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah, yeah. And do you know what that means?

[Bobby Lee]

No.

[Andrew Santino]

It means that she has great nice teeth. It's just a scientific way of saying it. Right.

[Bobby Lee]

You never heard that?

[Andrew Santino]

Beautiful eyes, right? Well, nails, right? Healthy.

[Bobby Lee]

They're natural.

[Andrew Santino]

Natural, healthy. No dirt. Nice lips. No dirt between the nails.

[Bobby Lee]

Say something about the eyes. Not a ton of makeup. It looks natural.

[Andrew Santino]

It's natural. Yeah.

[Bobby Lee]

Not cake face.

[Andrew Santino]

Let's go.

[Bobby Lee]

Submitting my video to share. Why? Potentially Richie may be interested in taking me to weird out. I just pulled up to my waitressing job so I am covering up the restaurant's logo.

[Andrew Santino]

Go ahead, you go.

[Bobby Lee]

We have to guess the waitress. We have to guess the place that she works At. She's the waitress.

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah, Yeah.

[Bobby Lee]

I mean, Tarantino ain't. Jimmy. Yeah, this.

[Andrew Santino]

This Laney. We found her dead. Bonnie. Yeah. Where does she waitress? Because you know, we can't figure that out.

[Bobby Lee]

I really know. I know. The color, the. The maroon of that shirt, it's a dead giveaway.

[Andrew Santino]

It seems like a chain.

[Bobby Lee]

It's obvious. She's got the meats.

[Andrew Santino]

She's got the meats. Okay. Thank you, Jimmy.

[Bobby Lee]

What is it? I wonder where she wages. It's either. You know, my instinct was either. Because it is maroon.

[Andrew Santino]

It's a high end. It's a. It's a. A. Jimmy, stop.

[Bobby Lee]

Don't Google it yet.

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah, Ye.

[Bobby Lee]

I will say it can't be high end. High end restaurants don't make you wear.

[Andrew Santino]

Look how nice, though, that. It's not. It's not like a.

[Bobby Lee]

They don't make you wear polos. A high end.

[Andrew Santino]

Not high end. A chain. A high end chain.

[Bobby Lee]

Correct. Chili. Yeah, that's not Chili's. That's actually their outfit. Black Chili's is all black.

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Bobby Lee]

Idiot.

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah.

[Bobby Lee]

Applebee's might be. Applebee's actually might be.

[Andrew Santino]

You know what I'm gonna say? Islands.

[Bobby Lee]

No, Islands is the Hawaiian shirts.

[Andrew Santino]

Oh, I didn't know.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah. Hawaiian shirt. Red Robin is a. No, because that's the old one that I'm trying to think, is that even around anymore?

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah. It could also be a. At a golf place, like a.

[Bobby Lee]

At a. Oh, that's right. She could work at the country.

[Andrew Santino]

Country club.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah. That's also very good. Yeah.

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah.

[Bobby Lee]

Or timely. Cracker Barrel.

[Andrew Santino]

I don't know. Cracker Bell, man.

[Bobby Lee]

I don't know.

[Andrew Santino]

But they weren't the white tea, because the last time when they were the.

[Bobby Lee]

White T shirts, well, they went through a big DEI change, apparently. So now everything is different.

[Andrew Santino]

I. I refuse to go in the change version of that.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah, we won't go back.

[Andrew Santino]

If I look and there's that old white cracker man with the barrel. Yeah. Yeah. I am out.

[Bobby Lee]

No, I'm in. That's the old way.

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah, yeah. If that's on there, I go in.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah.

[Andrew Santino]

If it's off, I do not go.

[Bobby Lee]

We don't go in.

[Andrew Santino]

I do not go in.

[Bobby Lee]

You heard it here, Cracker Barrel.

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah, yeah.

[Bobby Lee]

Anyway, we took you to Cracker Barrel for the first time on the road.

[Andrew Santino]

That was amazing.

[Bobby Lee]

I remember how much you bought from the store. Right.

[Andrew Santino]

It was. I was. I couldn't believe what they had there.

[Bobby Lee]

Shocking.

[Andrew Santino]

Shocking.

[Bobby Lee]

They had.

[Andrew Santino]

Oh, you're going to say this you turn me on to something there.

[Bobby Lee]

What did I do?

[Andrew Santino]

The fucking licorice.

[Bobby Lee]

Oh, yeah.

[Andrew Santino]

Wallabies.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah. Wiley Wallabies.

[Andrew Santino]

I had never heard of Wallabies. That's the place. I was. I was in it for hours. I had a shopping bag, everything.

[Bobby Lee]

He bought about 150 bucks worth of.

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah, come on. And you go. You pointed at wallabies and you go, man, back in my day or something like that.

[Bobby Lee]

I eat them today. I had one. I had two today when I left the house. I bought them at the airport again.

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah, I get every flavor.

[Bobby Lee]

They're so.

[Andrew Santino]

They're so good.

[Bobby Lee]

Green apple. The Wiley Wallabies.

[Andrew Santino]

You know Wallabies? Licorice. Are you a licorice fan?

[Bobby Lee]

These are so good. What's the one below it? Is that star anise black licorice?

[Andrew Santino]

Are you lick. Are you a black licorice guy?

[Bobby Lee]

I don't like black licorice. I don't think almost anybody likes black licorice.

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah, I don't know why.

[Bobby Lee]

This is awful. It's awful. You don't like black licorice? No, definitely not.

[Andrew Santino]

Have you had black licorice? Oh, the flavor is weird.

[Bobby Lee]

It's. It's. It's tastes like.

[Andrew Santino]

Tastes like Nyquil.

[Bobby Lee]

Oh, it does taste like shitty Nyquil.

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah, he's a shitty night.

[Bobby Lee]

No, but I kind of like Nyquil sometimes times.

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah, because you know you're gonna get a little like buzz, buzz, buzz on.

[Bobby Lee]

Have you had the. Have you had the. The day. Not DayQuil. What's the other one? The Zquil, brother. I can chug this stuff.

[Andrew Santino]

Really?

[Bobby Lee]

It's bad, dude, it's so good. I. ZQUIL is a non habit forming Nyquil and it's if you're not sick, if you just need to pass out. Yeah, bro, it's awesome. I should not be promoting horny after that. I get so horny on nyquil.

[Andrew Santino]

So Zquill.

[Bobby Lee]

I mean, any quill?

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah, any quill.

[Bobby Lee]

Any quill.

[Andrew Santino]

I get horny.

[Bobby Lee]

I get horny on the quill.

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah, dude, I do get horny on the.

[Andrew Santino]

Because my therapist and I have a deal, you know, like unisom. I can't take unisom anymore.

[Bobby Lee]

Do you know why you get to horn?

[Andrew Santino]

I get so horny I have to masturbate. The whole porn and then it's a. It's a red flag for me.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah, you can't do that.

[Andrew Santino]

If you take three or four, like extra ones, you get extremely horny.

[Bobby Lee]

But see this as Michael has found no ties boredom from Being sick, the altered mental state for medication, the potential orgasm to temporarily relieve pain might play a role in the perception of increased horniness. But the dizziness and drowning, none of this stuff they say attributes but I think you're right. Every time I do take drugs like this also in the morning I'm so much more morning hard. Like morning horny.

[Andrew Santino]

I get horny hard.

[Bobby Lee]

Horny hard?

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah.

[Bobby Lee]

Horny hard.

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah.

[Bobby Lee]

Horny hard.

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah. I've been getting a lot of morning wood lately. I just had it today and I can't get it. And then you have to pee and it's still up.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah. You piss all over, right.

[Andrew Santino]

So you have to push it down. Right.

[Bobby Lee]

I hate that you have to do.

[Andrew Santino]

Some sort of like I hate arch to it.

[Bobby Lee]

Well, I lean against the wall, I put my hands against the wall.

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah, yeah.

[Bobby Lee]

Down to the toilet.

[Andrew Santino]

I just stick my fucking dick in there like that.

[Bobby Lee]

That's why I want a urinal at the house. Eric Andre has a urinal at his house and I was always jealous of that.

[Andrew Santino]

A stand up urinal.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah, he's got a urinal and he's got a toilet in his bathroom. He built like a little nook where they used to have in it and he put a urinal there. I was like, yeah.

[Andrew Santino]

Why doesn't that come in a house?

[Bobby Lee]

I don't know. I don't understand. Yeah, because then, then you're never going to pee in the toilet where women pee in. Just you're only pooping in there. Yeah, I would, I wanted a urinal. My wife said no. I was like, why not?

[Andrew Santino]

Well, you have several bathrooms. You're like six bathrooms in that mansion that you live in. So I mean one of the.

[Bobby Lee]

Wait, we have.

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Bobby Lee]

Anyway, and then the maids quarters, 21. I don't know why we never. I wanted to put one in. Testosterone levels increase during REM sleep. So maybe you're getting such good sleep your testost, your T goes up which gives you harder erections.

[Andrew Santino]

This is morning wood.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah.

[Andrew Santino]

Oh, that's what it is.

[Bobby Lee]

You get morning wood still rich dog. Oh, every morning. How old are you? 24. That'll go away. Yeah, that'll go away.

[Andrew Santino]

It slides now. I, I, I, I, as an older adult, I'm getting them more.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah, but you don't always get them like him every day.

[Andrew Santino]

But no, but I do. And I'll tell you why you do now. No more masturbation.

[Bobby Lee]

Wow. Why?

[Andrew Santino]

Because it's unhealthy for me. Jerk. Every relationship I've ever had that was the downfall of every relationship.

[Bobby Lee]

You jerking off.

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah. Because I would. It gets to a point where it's like, you know, you get kind of bored, you know, having sex with them with the same. Right. And so in my. And then I preferred doing that over that. And it destroyed every. And it's. It. It. It interferes with intimacy. Intimacy.

[Bobby Lee]

It can.

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah. Yeah, it can. And so for me, it's like, once I weeded all that out, it's like, natural sex life.

[Bobby Lee]

Are you gonna have. Are you having natural, good sex?

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah, natural. Good El. Natural.

[Bobby Lee]

All right. Let's get back to this girl. Let's go back. Let's get. But let's get Richie a date. This poor girl. So, I mean, I like to think, you know, I genuinely vi kind of music. I grew up on 70s classic rock. I love Disco Pause. I'm not. I do feel bad that all these people are trying to go to the Weird Al concert. It already happens.

[Andrew Santino]

It already happened.

[Bobby Lee]

But we can set up another date. Yeah, we can take them some. Okay.

[Andrew Santino]

She has a kind of a Tony Coletti vibe, too.

[Bobby Lee]

I love Tony Colette.

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah, she's great.

[Bobby Lee]

She's gorgeous. Not going to lie. I don't know who Weird Al is. A pause. And I. I like her.

[Andrew Santino]

I like her, too.

[Bobby Lee]

You can turn her on to something she's never seen.

[Andrew Santino]

Oh, wait, you can educate her.

[Bobby Lee]

Educate her.

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah.

[Bobby Lee]

Oh, I like this. He's not country, so. Oh, he's not country. If not, then, yeah, I vibe. I promise you, I vibe to any other genre of music, you know, if it's a good. Beautiful setting, good drinks, great conversation, good vibes. I'm down to vibe to anything, truly. I have been trying to meet new people. It has been a focus point for me this year, so I've been kind of successful.

[Andrew Santino]

Can you push? Possible.

[Bobby Lee]

I like her. She's nice.

[Andrew Santino]

There's something that's bothering me.

[Bobby Lee]

What is it?

[Andrew Santino]

Get. Hey, Jimmy, guess what it is.

[Bobby Lee]

I don't miss something about the necklace. Zoom in on the necklace. What is that? Is that a Saturn? Is that a pentagram? What is that?

[Andrew Santino]

It's close.

[Bobby Lee]

I think it's a planet.

[Andrew Santino]

It's close.

[Bobby Lee]

My guess, from far away. It's religious.

[Andrew Santino]

Her hand has been stuck in that position the whole fucking time.

[Bobby Lee]

She's covering up for the. She doesn't want to show you where she works. What's wrong with that? Go back to the girl. Let's see.

[Andrew Santino]

Did she live in la?

[Bobby Lee]

Let's find out.

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah. Excuse if I let work and in the way and college and all that, whatever, yada yada.

[Bobby Lee]

Also, I really admire Richie's willingness to.

[Andrew Santino]

Get down and dirty.

[Bobby Lee]

I like a man who can get his hands dirty.

[Andrew Santino]

Love that he was willing to clean up Bobby's pet. I don't like it.

[Bobby Lee]

I've met Richard before and I think the concert tickets were a great gesture. And if he's just looking for a nice girl, go have some time, a good time. You know, go listen to some good music, get to know each other. You know, this could be start of a beautiful friendship. Something more. Maybe nothing. I don't know. Hold on. He just wants you know they are wearing the same color shirt. Yeah, I know. I tested it. I, I, I, I heard an east coast twang there. So she is not from here, but I'm from the east coast. Well, you live here. I do, yeah. What did she say at the end? Enjoying. Sorry. I have bangs and I don't know how to style them. I just got them cut last week like. Anyway, Jersey hit me up if you're interested. Richie. Otherwise Long island. Have a great time at the concert. And P S. I don't know if you could tell for my accent. I am from New York, unfortunately. I'm sorry if that ruins things, but if you can't find any girlies in la, feel free to me. Otherwise. She lives in. She's from Long island, but she lives in la.

[Andrew Santino]

She said if you can't find anyone.

[Bobby Lee]

No. Yeah, she lives. You're fired.

[Andrew Santino]

Is that it?

[Bobby Lee]

There's got to be one more. There is a few more.

[Andrew Santino]

Now I understand why you couldn't get.

[Bobby Lee]

Out of the those escape rooms. La is that she's from la. He's on it today. Dude, he's on one today. I like when he gets off. Who's this?

[Andrew Santino]

Can we address this?

[Bobby Lee]

What the hell?

[Andrew Santino]

All right. Text cob here.

[Bobby Lee]

He likes with you.

[Andrew Santino]

I know.

[Bobby Lee]

All right. Who's this? Text cop. Let's hear it.

[Andrew Santino]

I could fuck with you too, but I'm not gonna.

[Bobby Lee]

Go ahead.

[Andrew Santino]

I have some fucking bullets in my gun.

[Bobby Lee]

God, he's been away from us for so long. He's so happy.

[Andrew Santino]

I love him.

[Bobby Lee]

He's fogging up the shades again.

[Andrew Santino]

Whoa. Oh my. This is where I zoom in. This is where I go crazy.

[Bobby Lee]

Zoom in. I am willing to make Richie's dreams come true to be his date. And I haven't done any charity in a minute. And I like weird looking boys. This white boys. This is me. Zoom in. I'm sold. Drop all the others. Wow.

[Andrew Santino]

Really?

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah, that checks in. We found her. She's so pretty. Oh, we found her. Look at, look at. Hey.

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah?

[Bobby Lee]

Do I test a little jealousy out of you? Did I smell a little jealousy?

[Andrew Santino]

Actually, no. And I'll tell you why. Off screen.

[Bobby Lee]

Had it already or something. Already tasted it.

[Andrew Santino]

No, no.

[Bobby Lee]

All right.

[Andrew Santino]

I mean, Richie, if I did hook up with a girl, like, long ago, would you hook up with her or. No.

[Bobby Lee]

I mean, yeah, but it would be out. Well, then we'd have to talk about it.

[Andrew Santino]

No, I don't. You don't even need to talk about it.

[Bobby Lee]

Well, because we're, like, friends.

[Andrew Santino]

No, no, no, no. We're not friends. You're my employee.

[Bobby Lee]

Employee.

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. You'll never get my number.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah, but that's like dating my bosses.

[Andrew Santino]

It doesn't matter. Just go ahead.

[Bobby Lee]

Okay.

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. I'm gonna give you a ticket.

[Bobby Lee]

Staty. Sadie Sopler, Thousand Oaks. She's in Thousand Oaks. She wants. She's 5, 10. She's a tall girl.

[Andrew Santino]

Okay.

[Bobby Lee]

And this is me. I'm taller. This is me, by the way. Let's see what she looks like.

[Andrew Santino]

Oh, my God.

[Bobby Lee]

Richie.

[Andrew Santino]

Richie. That's the one.

[Bobby Lee]

You got some good submissions.

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah, Richie. That's the one. Richie.

[Bobby Lee]

She also sent a video. Let's do the video. Richie. My name is Sadie. I live in Thousand Oaks. I am local. Ish. Okay. And I was gonna email Carlos for your number regardless. And then I heard that you need a date to Weird Al. I know the deep Cuts. I have been a Weird Al fan forever. She's the best. Let me think of some weasel stomping day virus alert. Like, I'm talking about Deep Cuts, not just Amish paradise. Okay. My birthday is August 29th, and I want to go to Weird Al with you to celebrate my birthday. Birthday. Oh, man. So I'm sorry. We just missed it, but she was the one I would have called. We should have done this episode the other day. Why did we film this two days ago? He's freaking out. Oh, my God. I could have gone with her. I'm freaking out with my dad. That guy could have gone with her.

[Andrew Santino]

I'll take her anywhere.

[Bobby Lee]

I'll take her to police.

[Andrew Santino]

No, she called for me. I'll take her to police. She was asking for me every night, every meal.

[Bobby Lee]

No, you can't provide. I could provide nothing. I could provide. I'm providable.

[Andrew Santino]

No, you're not providable. You're not providable. You got nothing.

[Bobby Lee]

I have a lot.

[Andrew Santino]

You smell.

[Bobby Lee]

I give every time.

[Andrew Santino]

I walk by here. You smell, dude. Yeah, yeah. And your breath smells good. And you film over your teeth. That's outrageous. I can't believe it, dude.

[Bobby Lee]

I love how jealous. This is going to make him awesome.

[Andrew Santino]

I will not allow you to go.

[Bobby Lee]

Out with her, Carlos. Too bad. She already emailed Carlos, get her number for Richie for sure. We need to make this happen. Included it in the email.

[Andrew Santino]

It's unfathomable to me. Oh, my God.

[Bobby Lee]

It just got better.

[Andrew Santino]

Go ahead. Go ahead, Richie.

[Bobby Lee]

Oh, it just got better.

[Andrew Santino]

But you will no longer be working here. Do not go out with her now. Go ahead.

[Bobby Lee]

Let me see. I have a car, so I can get to you.

[Andrew Santino]

Oh, my God.

[Bobby Lee]

Oh, my God. Take the whole package. She drives.

[Andrew Santino]

Oh, my God.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah, they're allowed to drive now.

[Andrew Santino]

I can't believe this.

[Bobby Lee]

Jesus.

[Andrew Santino]

How is this. Oh, my God.

[Bobby Lee]

She's so pretty.

[Andrew Santino]

Oh, my God. Get her out of here. You can't bring her around the studio. I'll get her out of here. Oh, my God. She's so hot. That.

[Bobby Lee]

That was the grand. Okay, that's the grand finale. And that's a good one.

[Andrew Santino]

Well, how old is this. This girl? How old is this girl?

[Bobby Lee]

She didn't say. I don't think. Yeah, but she said she knew deep cuts of Weird Al, so obviously she's not. She's got to be in her 30s, I would imagine, right? My type of lady. No, no, I say that. No, she's probably 26.

[Andrew Santino]

24.

[Bobby Lee]

22.

[Andrew Santino]

Young.

[Bobby Lee]

24 to 26.

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah, around.

[Bobby Lee]

That is young.

[Andrew Santino]

Too young. Go ahead, Rich.

[Bobby Lee]

She's.

[Andrew Santino]

Perfect effect. Yeah.

[Bobby Lee]

You like the number?

[Andrew Santino]

Yes.

[Bobby Lee]

You're excited? I'm ready. I'm ready. I'm gonna get tickets to another concert. Now, when's the last time you went out on like, a proper date with a girl? A proper, proper date? It's been a while. What are we talking? Like a proper, proper, proper date? Like how proper, Richie? A date with a girl. Just been a couple months. It's been a couple months.

[Andrew Santino]

Okay, couple months or a couple years?

[Bobby Lee]

Depends on how proper we're talking. Shopify. Cheese. Ching, ching. You know you like to hear that sound.

[Andrew Santino]

We use Shopify here.

[Bobby Lee]

We love Shopify and it's fantastic. Shopify is the way to make your store, whatever you are selling. So simple. It's the point of sale system, is a unified command center for you and your retail business. It brings together in store and online operations up to across a thousand locations.

[Andrew Santino]

Imagine being able to guarantee that shopping is always convenient. Endless aisle ship to Customer buy, online pickup in store, all made simpler so customers can shop how they want and staff have the tools to close the sale every time.

[Bobby Lee]

And let's face it, acquiring new customers is expensive. It's very hard for people that don't know it's hard. But with Shopify pos you can keep shoppers coming back with personalized experiences and first party data that give marketing teams a competitive edge.

[Andrew Santino]

Exactly. We love competitive.

[Bobby Lee]

We really do. And by the way, it's proven, these results are proven over and over again. 22% better. Total cost of ownership and benefits equivalent to an 8.9% uplift on sales on average relative to the market surveyed. So? So if you're looking to grow that business, you're looking to scale up, retain customers and get new ones, you must use Shopify.

[Andrew Santino]

Get all the big stuff for your small business right with Shopify.

[Bobby Lee]

Sign up for your $1 per month trial period and start selling at shopify.com.

[Andrew Santino]

Bad friends go to shopify.com bad friends.

[Bobby Lee]

Shopify.Com bad friends sock dog.

[Andrew Santino]

Oh my God. I'm hurt too.

[Bobby Lee]

How?

[Andrew Santino]

I'm hurt too.

[Bobby Lee]

We're both hurt. What do we do? I don't know.

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah, you know what I hurt. What? I bet you let's say it together.

[Bobby Lee]

Oh wow. You know what it is?

[Andrew Santino]

It's a free app and website where you can search and compare high quality in network doctors and click to instantly book an appointment. Andrew.

[Bobby Lee]

So easy. When I moved to the neighborhood, I gotta tell you, I was annoyed. I couldn't go back to the old doctor was too much of a drive. And I was like where do I gotta go? What do I got to do? And you said just get on talk doc, you dummy. And I did. And the best part is you can filter based on your preferences what kind of doctor you need, where they're located. Do they take your insurance? And you can find an instantly book a visit right away within 24 to 72 hours that is. You can even get same day appointment.

[Andrew Santino]

Wow. Once you find the right doctor, Andrew, you can see their actual appointment opening.

[Bobby Lee]

You see this?

[Andrew Santino]

Choose a time slot that works for you, right? And click to instantly book a visit like you said.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah, you can do it right there. And they got more than 100,000 doctors across every single specialty.

[Andrew Santino]

Skin.

[Bobby Lee]

Skin.

[Andrew Santino]

Ankles.

[Bobby Lee]

Ankles.

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah. And toe.

[Bobby Lee]

Toes. They got toes on there, baby.

[Andrew Santino]

My toe hurts.

[Bobby Lee]

So here's how you get it.

[Andrew Santino]

Stop putting off those doctor's appointments and go to Zocdoc.com bad friends to find an instantly book at top rated doctor today.

[Bobby Lee]

That's Z O C D O C dot com. Bad friends. Zocdoc.com bad friends. I do want to play catch up with with Juliana and see what's going on with the Rudy Jewels in your world. What has been up in your world. Are you. What's going on with you and your dating life. Single.

[Andrew Santino]

Zero.

[Bobby Lee]

Zero. You're over it now? Yeah. You don't want to go back? No. You're done.

[Andrew Santino]

I'm good.

[Bobby Lee]

But Tito Bobby's been. We've been doing movie marathons.

[Andrew Santino]

Yep.

[Bobby Lee]

And he's just been showing me all the classic movies.

[Andrew Santino]

So we. We went Goodfellas. So I'm gonna throw some movies out. Yeah. And one through ten, you tell me. Okay. Good, fellas.

[Bobby Lee]

Ten.

[Andrew Santino]

Ten to me.

[Bobby Lee]

Ten.

[Andrew Santino]

Ten. Ten. What'd you get?

[Bobby Lee]

I'll do eight. Okay. I respect an eight.

[Andrew Santino]

Okay. Taxi Driver.

[Bobby Lee]

Nine. Nine. Yeah.

[Andrew Santino]

You like Taxi Driver over Goodfellas?

[Bobby Lee]

I like that. It's so dark. It is.

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Bobby Lee]

It's rad.

[Andrew Santino]

No country for old men.

[Bobby Lee]

10.

[Andrew Santino]

Wow.

[Bobby Lee]

That's my top one. That's easy 10.

[Andrew Santino]

Easy 10.

[Bobby Lee]

It's so good.

[Andrew Santino]

Raising Arizona.

[Bobby Lee]

10.

[Andrew Santino]

You like raising Arizona?

[Bobby Lee]

I love. I love. You're so. You're.

[Andrew Santino]

He's a filmer.

[Bobby Lee]

You're hitting home runs right now.

[Andrew Santino]

Right. But here's. I know what this answer is gonna be. Watch this one.

[Bobby Lee]

What?

[Andrew Santino]

Fargo.

[Bobby Lee]

Oh, dude. One. One. Oh. What? What in the are you talking about? The guy was just so annoying.

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah.

[Bobby Lee]

I couldn't watch it because he was just so stupid. Are you talking William H. Macy?

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah.

[Bobby Lee]

Who's the main guy? He's brilliant.

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah.

[Bobby Lee]

I couldn't. I couldn't. He does such a good job in that movie. That's crazy that you didn't like that.

[Andrew Santino]

He is annoying in it, though.

[Bobby Lee]

But that's the point of the character.

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah. The desperation.

[Bobby Lee]

Yes. He's supposed to like a. A. A. A ripe loser.

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah.

[Bobby Lee]

You like.

[Andrew Santino]

You.

[Bobby Lee]

You. You. Yeah, it's perfect. You cannot.

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah.

[Bobby Lee]

Oh, it's so good. I. I like the one with Brad Pitt. That one's better.

[Andrew Santino]

Burn after reading.

[Bobby Lee]

Oh, so good.

[Andrew Santino]

So good. Burner after reading's good.

[Bobby Lee]

So good.

[Andrew Santino]

Brad Pitt is so funny in that movie.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah, dude, He's.

[Andrew Santino]

He's. He's the best. It's good, but it's not in that level of Fargo.

[Bobby Lee]

I don't think it is. No, it's not a Fargo movie, but Fargo.

[Andrew Santino]

It's pretty good, though.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah, but Fargo is, like, a perfect movie.

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah.

[Bobby Lee]

It's such a Good movie. They made. They made it a TV show. That's how you know a movie's really a banger, when they're like, we got to do this again somewhere else.

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah, because of Fargo, though. I. Your reaction to it? I didn't do the Big Lebowski.

[Bobby Lee]

Oh, it's so good. What do you mean? Oh, my God.

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah, it's another cone, brother.

[Bobby Lee]

She's gonna hate it.

[Andrew Santino]

That's why if you don't like Fargo, you're not gonna like the Big Lebowski.

[Bobby Lee]

I'll still try it.

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah? Yeah, I watch the Dude. Oh, my God.

[Bobby Lee]

I watch Ethan's movie alone when I was in Chicago.

[Andrew Santino]

So you call him Ethan like you know him. I don't like that.

[Bobby Lee]

It was Mr. Ethan Cohen.

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah, I saw Bobby's movie. You mean Goodfellas. No, no, you're right.

[Bobby Lee]

Marty.

[Andrew Santino]

No, Marty. You're.

[Bobby Lee]

You mean Marty.

[Andrew Santino]

Cut that part out.

[Bobby Lee]

No.

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah. That made me look like a fool. That made me look like a fool.

[Bobby Lee]

No, no, no.

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah, it's foolish.

[Bobby Lee]

What do we got here? Oh, is this our boy? This is our Spaniard replacement, too.

[Andrew Santino]

Good. Now, before, he didn't look that good.

[Bobby Lee]

Give me the phone. You like him, huh? All right. Hey, Bob. There we are.

[Andrew Santino]

Hey. Why does he have a Dragon Ball Z shirt? Is because I'm Asian.

[Bobby Lee]

He likes anime. Why are we muted on our side?

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah, you're not.

[Bobby Lee]

Hello. Hey. What? Hey, buddy. Thank you for having me.

[Andrew Santino]

Oh, I like the voice. Okay, good.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah. Chris? Yeah? It's not because you're Asian. I like anime.

[Andrew Santino]

Okay. Okay. Okay. He likes anime. Okay, good.

[Bobby Lee]

Where are you from again? Chris. And I like Chinese food, too.

[Andrew Santino]

Perfect.

[Bobby Lee]

Chris, where are you from, buddy? I'm in New York right now. Where are you from, kiddo? Oh, I'm from Dominican Republic. I love this guy.

[Andrew Santino]

Dominican Republic.

[Bobby Lee]

Dominican Republic. We. We own.

[Andrew Santino]

I know what that.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah, they're one of ours.

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah, they're one of ours.

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah.

[Bobby Lee]

You're from America. You're from island America. I get. I get it. What? Where? He's just like you. He's a little.

[Andrew Santino]

I like it. Yeah. He's an.

[Bobby Lee]

Where do you live in New York? Let me guess. Let me guess. Hold on. Can you guess? Yeah, I'm g. I'm going to say Queens.

[Andrew Santino]

I say Brooklyn.

[Bobby Lee]

Close, close, Close. Oh. Oh, close. Close to those. Yes. You're not in Queens? You're not in Brooklyn? No. You're not in Long Island?

[Andrew Santino]

No.

[Bobby Lee]

No. You're not in Harlem?

[Andrew Santino]

No.

[Bobby Lee]

You're not in the city?

[Andrew Santino]

Manhattan?

[Bobby Lee]

No. He's not in the city.

[Andrew Santino]

I know. Greenwich Village.

[Bobby Lee]

What's that, Granite? He's not in the Village. That's in Manhattan.

[Andrew Santino]

Okay.

[Bobby Lee]

You're not in Brooklyn. You're not in Queens. You're not in Harlem. Staten Island. You're not in Staten island, are you?

[Andrew Santino]

You're in Jersey.

[Bobby Lee]

Wow.

[Andrew Santino]

What is it?

[Bobby Lee]

Albany.

[Andrew Santino]

Albany.

[Bobby Lee]

That's not. That's not New York, God damn it. That's upstate New York.

[Andrew Santino]

That's upstate. That's like Oneonta.

[Bobby Lee]

I think. I thought that. Because it's New York.

[Andrew Santino]

Wait, I want.

[Bobby Lee]

Is not part of New York. It's in the state of New York. We're talking about the city.

[Andrew Santino]

It's like when people go, I live in California. Where? Bakersfield.

[Bobby Lee]

Right. It's not the same. No, that's like saying, I live in Los Angeles.

[Andrew Santino]

Wait, wait, wait, wait.

[Bobby Lee]

I live in. Wait.

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah, you're right. You're right. There's no logic there. Yeah, okay, sorry.

[Bobby Lee]

I got it.

[Andrew Santino]

You get what I'm saying or. No.

[Bobby Lee]

All right, so listen, Chris. Chris. Are you willing to relocate to Los Angeles? Yes, he is. What do you do for a living, Chris? I work in. Oh, he's got a good job. Did they pay?

[Andrew Santino]

No, he's Geek Squad at Best Buy.

[Bobby Lee]

Huh. I don't think that's that good.

[Andrew Santino]

You work for Best Boy.

[Bobby Lee]

Best Boy.

[Andrew Santino]

Best Buy.

[Bobby Lee]

Oh, do you work for Best Boy?

[Andrew Santino]

No. Okay.

[Bobby Lee]

You can't tell us the company name. We won't say. We won't. We'll blank it out. You can. What? Yeah. What? Wait, Chris, if you can bleep it out. Yeah, we'll bleep it out. What is it? We'll bleep it out. I promise. It's like a really low and, like, company.

[Andrew Santino]

It's called Chris, Chris. Chris. What's like. I know you have a chair, but you have a little bit of a padding there. What's the padding? Can we see?

[Bobby Lee]

It's from one of my favorite games.

[Andrew Santino]

Huh.

[Bobby Lee]

I love this guy. I'm a huge anime fan.

[Andrew Santino]

So.

[Bobby Lee]

And these are all the girls you've jerked off to? Is that your comrade on your chair?

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Bobby Lee]

Wait a minute. You're. You're a big anime fan? And how. How old are you? I'm 32. 32. And you're single? You got. You got a wife, family, kids? What do you got? I'm single now. Have you. Okay. Are you. Have you ever been in a relationship?

[Andrew Santino]

No.

[Bobby Lee]

You gotta get this. This guy's.

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah.

[Bobby Lee]

You're perfect for this show.

[Andrew Santino]

Well, Are you a virgin, Chris? Yeah. Just say it.

[Bobby Lee]

No, no, I didn't.

[Andrew Santino]

Oh, are you religious? Is it going against your religion?

[Bobby Lee]

No.

[Andrew Santino]

Okay.

[Bobby Lee]

I don't believe in any. Over there.

[Andrew Santino]

Okay, good.

[Bobby Lee]

Well, what do you. What do you believe in, Chris? Like, what do you.

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah, what do you believe?

[Bobby Lee]

What do you believe in? I. I believe in the Bad Friends podcast. Damn.

[Andrew Santino]

Damn. This guy's the guy. Dude. This is our guy. Dude.

[Bobby Lee]

All right, so I want to say this. If.

[Andrew Santino]

I love him.

[Bobby Lee]

If. If you come out here. Yes. Where do you live right now? We have to find a place for you. We can. You might be able to live in the studio because our studio kind of looks like your apartment.

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah.

[Bobby Lee]

Where. Where is this apartment? If you give me Internet, I'm. I'm good to go. We can.

[Andrew Santino]

I need to. We have more than enough. We have wi fi.

[Bobby Lee]

This is great. This is amazing.

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah.

[Bobby Lee]

You need to watch his animals.

[Andrew Santino]

You have animals?

[Bobby Lee]

Anime.

[Andrew Santino]

Anime. Oh, anime. If he did have an animal, he would have reptiles. Yeah, yeah. Spiders.

[Bobby Lee]

Snake guy.

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Bobby Lee]

I got something to show Bobby.

[Andrew Santino]

Oh, wow. I love this guy. So much better than Andres.

[Bobby Lee]

I mean, I'm not even kidding.

[Andrew Santino]

I agree. Oh, you have a ginger too. Yeah.

[Bobby Lee]

What's his name is. I'm. I'm blanking out right now.

[Andrew Santino]

You don't know your cat's name?

[Bobby Lee]

Leo. Leo.

[Andrew Santino]

Leo.

[Bobby Lee]

Is that someone else's cat you just stole? Kind of. It's your sisters? Yeah, I kind of take care of it, so.

[Andrew Santino]

Oh, you do you live at your sister's house?

[Bobby Lee]

No, I believe at my mom's house. Okay. Your mom's house. Okay.

[Andrew Santino]

Wow.

[Bobby Lee]

You're in the basement. Yes.

[Andrew Santino]

This is our guy. Yeah.

[Bobby Lee]

You're underground. That is a cool way to say I live in a basement at my mom's.

[Andrew Santino]

We gotta get to get a private detective to do some research and stuff like that. I think first. Yeah, yeah.

[Bobby Lee]

Before we fly you out here, we do need to do a background background check.

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah.

[Bobby Lee]

Make sure that. Have you ever. Have you ever committed any crimes of any kind?

[Andrew Santino]

No, not yet.

[Bobby Lee]

No. No, don't say yeah.

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. If you were to commit a crime, what would it be, Larson? I have no idea. Okay.

[Bobby Lee]

Petty theft. I will let you know when I do it.

[Andrew Santino]

Okay.

[Bobby Lee]

It'll be us, so.

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah.

[Bobby Lee]

The whole world will know.

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah.

[Bobby Lee]

Bad friends murdered by Dominican immigrant Chris. Hey. I'm here legal, so.

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah. Okay, good. That's good.

[Bobby Lee]

We don't care. Have you seen this show? We don't care.

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah.

[Bobby Lee]

Half of this crew is illegal.

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah.

[Bobby Lee]

Well, Chris, we might have to make it a way for you to get out here. Would it be hard to get you off of work to come out here? No.

[Andrew Santino]

No.

[Bobby Lee]

Okay. I got my. I barely can take days off, so my vacation time is stacked. You got a lot.

[Andrew Santino]

He saves his holiday.

[Bobby Lee]

Have you ever taken a vacation, Chris? Yes. Okay. Where did you go? Where did you vacation to? I went to Canada for a. Camping. Where in Canada?

[Andrew Santino]

Okay. Camping's good. I have that.

[Bobby Lee]

I don't know. I don't. I don't know.

[Andrew Santino]

I went to Edmonton, saw the oil fields.

[Bobby Lee]

I don't remember the place he was kidnapped.

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah. Yeah. And have you ever been anywhere tropical?

[Bobby Lee]

Tropical?

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah.

[Bobby Lee]

He's from the Dominican Republic.

[Andrew Santino]

Oh, yeah, that's right. I've been here in the US I'm a good detective.

[Bobby Lee]

The guy's from a fucking island. The guy's from a island.

[Andrew Santino]

I'm not good. I'm not good.

[Bobby Lee]

Have you ever been anywhere tropical? It's from a fucking island.

[Andrew Santino]

Oh my God, I'm so dumb.

[Bobby Lee]

Have you ever been to the beach? It's like the, the Camino Serrado thing there. Oh, dude, he's fancy. And the Michael. Michael Jeep Jordan. Michael Jeep Jordan.

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Bobby Lee]

Chris, Chris, can you tell us a joke? Just tell us a quick joke before we let you go. Give us a joke. One joke. What do you call a nation with one leg? A nation with one leg.

[Andrew Santino]

What? What?

[Bobby Lee]

Taiwan shoe.

[Andrew Santino]

That's so good. Clean too. Taiwan.

[Bobby Lee]

Oh, yeah, yeah, he's got some.

[Andrew Santino]

Is it a nation joke? Because that'd be so funny. That only had nation jokes.

[Bobby Lee]

Wait, wait, let me, let me think, let me think. What do you call a fat psychic? A fat psychic?

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah.

[Bobby Lee]

A fortune teller.

[Andrew Santino]

I don't even get it.

[Bobby Lee]

A four chin teller.

[Andrew Santino]

Oh, Four chin teller.

[Bobby Lee]

We need more. Give me another.

[Andrew Santino]

Give me another one.

[Bobby Lee]

Why did the Mexican throw his wife off the cliff? Why did the Mexican throw his wife off a cliff?

[Andrew Santino]

Why? So many reasons.

[Bobby Lee]

Why did the Mexican throw his life? You've ever said, why did the Mexican. Huh? Because he wanted tequila. Tequila.

[Andrew Santino]

Tequila.

[Bobby Lee]

I see you bring that kind of energy to the West Coast, Chris.

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah.

[Bobby Lee]

This might just work out. I think we might have to have him as an interim replacement ho.

[Andrew Santino]

Maybe.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah, in the booth. So you're willing? It depends what I can do. I don't know if I can do too much. No, no, we won't. We won't have you do almost anything.

[Andrew Santino]

You don't do anything. We just need you to be there.

[Bobby Lee]

We just want you to be there.

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah. That's incredible.

[Bobby Lee]

Well, let's take a vote. Let's take a vote here. Who thinks Chris is suited for the show?

[Andrew Santino]

Right here, dude. Unanimous.

[Bobby Lee]

Wow. Chris. That's everybody.

[Andrew Santino]

I don't know why you're raising your hand, Richie. He's replacing you. Yeah.

[Bobby Lee]

All right, Chris. Well, we appreciate you, man. Hopefully we'll see you soon out here. Okay, buddy. Thank you guys for having me. Thanks for being Chris.

[Andrew Santino]

We love you.

[Bobby Lee]

We love you, buddy.

[Andrew Santino]

Love you, Chris.

[Bobby Lee]

Last week. Yeah, don't go yet. Okay.

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah, okay, go ahead.

[Bobby Lee]

No, no, I didn't know. I thought. Yeah, last. Last week was my 32 years old birthday. Yeah.

[Andrew Santino]

Did we just call it a birthday?

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah. Yes. And that was the same day that I saw the episode where you guys saw my summation. Oh, wow. And when I heard that, I was like, wait, are they listening to my video submission? I was laughing and it just, just made my whole day. We love you. Actually, Actually, it made my whole week to give, to respond to the email.

[Andrew Santino]

Sooner because I was waiting the whole.

[Bobby Lee]

Week for an email response. We love you. Oh, Chris. You're comfortable? We gotta get this guy to la. All right, Chris, we love you, buddy. We gotta, we gotta go.

[Andrew Santino]

We gotta go, bud.

[Bobby Lee]

We'll talk to you soon. Okay, Bye, buddy. Yeah, bye, dude.

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah. Love him.

[Bobby Lee]

I love that guy.

[Andrew Santino]

Love him.

[Bobby Lee]

I love that guy. Yeah, yeah, we got it.

[Andrew Santino]

What do you do?

[Bobby Lee]

What do you think? He's so funny.

[Andrew Santino]

Cute.

[Bobby Lee]

I'm not very cute. You gotta get that guy to la.

[Andrew Santino]

We gotta get him here.

[Bobby Lee]

We gotta. You boys. We have. I'm not kidding. Yeah, gotta.

[Andrew Santino]

You know what? It's. It's okay to live at your mom's house at 32.

[Bobby Lee]

I didn't say anything negative.

[Andrew Santino]

I just said your energy was a little judgy.

[Bobby Lee]

No, no, I thought it. I thought it was true because it looked like a basement. It looked like a basement. I knew it was a basement. It was subterranean.

[Andrew Santino]

There were no windows. And also put him up in a.

[Bobby Lee]

Hotel and we'll fly him.

[Andrew Santino]

I'm gonna get him some confidence, you know, I mean, because I just. He's a handsome guy.

[Bobby Lee]

We'll put him on the show. He'll get from the show, I'm sure. Look at all these losers get from the show. It's unbelievable.

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah, yeah. Okay.

[Bobby Lee]

Plus is the only show who can.

[Andrew Santino]

Afford having 20 producers that do nothing, so.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah. The resentment out of this kid. The resentment is bananas. He hates everybody.

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah.

[Bobby Lee]

Are you. Do you even want to keep doing the show?

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah.

[Bobby Lee]

No, he hates It. God. Dude, you're out of pocket.

[Andrew Santino]

He's out of pocket.

[Bobby Lee]

Dude, what's going on with you, man? What is this? Richie at our first episode in the studio.

[Andrew Santino]

Well, how long ago was that?

[Bobby Lee]

Wait, no. Three years ago.

[Andrew Santino]

Wow.

[Bobby Lee]

Wow.

[Andrew Santino]

So you were in his school in.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah, I was an Andre student and then came here the first time. I was like, touring and then got the job. You look less annoying in this photo. I look less? Yeah, you look cute there. You kind of look like Andres.

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah, you do look. So how did he hit you up? He hit you up. Andres for the intern job?

[Bobby Lee]

No, when we were meeting more people.

[Andrew Santino]

I. I knew him and another girl, Emma, who sells on this picture.

[Bobby Lee]

We remember Emma. Emma, yeah, she was on the show. She sat on camera. Right. So they. Yeah, they both were coming to LA at the same time, so. Wonderful.

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah, yeah. How do you like la, Richie?

[Bobby Lee]

Let's not. I don't give a. No. Where do you live? With Echo Park? No, I'm in Burbank. I'm very close by. He doesn't have a car. Yeah.

[Andrew Santino]

You walk here, Rich.

[Bobby Lee]

You walk here, Carlos, but.

[Andrew Santino]

Oh, yeah, yeah.

[Bobby Lee]

Pick him up. That's very nice.

[Andrew Santino]

That's very nice.

[Bobby Lee]

What are your cross streets? We're going to cut it out. What am I. What? What are your cross streets?

[Andrew Santino]

What is that intersect? Like the big boulevard?

[Bobby Lee]

I'm writing down Burbank.

[Andrew Santino]

Downtown Burbank, by the amc.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah.

[Andrew Santino]

You don't know the address?

[Bobby Lee]

No, I mean, I know my home address.

[Andrew Santino]

Andre, Jen's here. I don't know why she's here.

[Bobby Lee]

Dude. Honestly. You didn't know what a cross street is? Your major intersection? I don't have a car.

[Andrew Santino]

When did you get here? What? Oh, just.

[Bobby Lee]

What?

[Andrew Santino]

Go off?

[Bobby Lee]

What's up? Sit down. Come sit down, you idiot. Come sit down.

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah, have her stay there.

[Bobby Lee]

Gen Zers. What are you doing with your shades on? It's sunny out.

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah, she's like sneaky Chinese.

[Bobby Lee]

She is this Chinese assassin.

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Bobby Lee]

We're inside.

[Andrew Santino]

There's no sun here. Yeah, yeah. Take the glasses off.

[Bobby Lee]

You don't need to take it off. No, no, no, no, no, no. I like. I like that they're on.

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Okay.

[Bobby Lee]

Tim Rerun.

[Andrew Santino]

Tim Rerun. Yeah. So you're. You have workout gear?

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah, we're going for a walk. You?

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah, me.

[Bobby Lee]

You never go a walk.

[Andrew Santino]

I've been on walk.

[Bobby Lee]

What are you talking about?

[Andrew Santino]

What are you talking about? I. I go hiking all the time by myself.

[Bobby Lee]

You just go to the entrance and then you Go back home.

[Andrew Santino]

Oh, I don't time. I did it. I went all the way around.

[Bobby Lee]

Oh, my God. Are you guys going for a hike?

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah, we're going around the reservoir. I don't know what it is.

[Bobby Lee]

Are you really? Yeah, around.

[Andrew Santino]

That's why I'm wearing these. Okay.

[Bobby Lee]

Oh, your workout shoes.

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah, these are my workout shoes.

[Bobby Lee]

Those are the shoes you wear every day.

[Andrew Santino]

I know, but the pants.

[Bobby Lee]

Okay.

[Andrew Santino]

That's why I'm doing this.

[Bobby Lee]

Wait, you're going to go around Silver Lake? No. The Hollywood Reservoir.

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah.

[Bobby Lee]

Right on. He said pick me up.

[Andrew Santino]

Is it uphill?

[Bobby Lee]

No, it's all. No, it's all flat. It's all flat. It's. I can do it.

[Andrew Santino]

I can do it.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah. Yeah. Of all of all incline.

[Andrew Santino]

No way. Yeah, yeah.

[Bobby Lee]

There's no incline.

[Andrew Santino]

There's no incline. But can I just say this? I haven't. I woke up, I went straight here. I haven't had anything in my body.

[Bobby Lee]

No, no, you've never. I've never heard this before. Bobby's mad today because. Because there's a guy in the show, Richie, you know, Richie. Richie, pop your little stupid head in. So. Oh, God. So we did. So we did submissions for girls to take him out on a date or him to take them out on a date. And he got some babes on there and Bobby's a little jealous.

[Andrew Santino]

I wasn't jealous.

[Bobby Lee]

A little. What? They're really hot. Yeah. Well, this girl was very attractive and she loves him. And Bobby was a little upset about it. He was upset. He was a little upset.

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah.

[Bobby Lee]

Anyway, do you want her? Yeah.

[Andrew Santino]

No, I was just like. I couldn't believe it. That's all. It was just the absurdity.

[Bobby Lee]

He was mad.

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah. Richie has no car, but do you find. Okay. He has no money.

[Bobby Lee]

Do you find Richie attractive? Is he attractive? There's like a cuteness. Yeah. Like a boyishness. Yeah. Not like a man.

[Andrew Santino]

But you would never.

[Bobby Lee]

I would like.

[Andrew Santino]

No, you wouldn't like. You know what? You're lying. You date Hollywood directors.

[Bobby Lee]

No.

[Andrew Santino]

Oh, no. No. Because I'm tired of her. A Chinese attitude.

[Bobby Lee]

But I will say. What.

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah.

[Andrew Santino]

You wouldn't. With Richie, there's no way. Yeah.

[Bobby Lee]

Do not believe this communist liar.

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah, She's a liar.

[Bobby Lee]

She means none of this. There's a cute. There's a cuteness. This is how they get you.

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah. That's how they get you.

[Bobby Lee]

You'll be working in a factory.

[Andrew Santino]

Your bank account is gone.

[Bobby Lee]

It's gone.

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah. That's a cuteness. Right. Two Days later, I have nothing in. Yeah, she did it.

[Bobby Lee]

Thank you.

[Andrew Santino]

Thank you.

[Bobby Lee]

Goodbye.

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah. You get no action from it. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Bobby Lee]

He doesn't.

[Andrew Santino]

Don't you think so?

[Bobby Lee]

He's. I like his legs.

[Andrew Santino]

But you would never go out with him.

[Bobby Lee]

No.

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah, yeah. Filipinos are honest.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah. That's what I love about you. Like Filipino? No.

[Andrew Santino]

Not at all. Disgusting.

[Bobby Lee]

Come over here and show your legs. She likes his legs. This doesn't. Thick. See, I don't understand this. What is that? Oh, yeah.

[Andrew Santino]

Oh, you.

[Bobby Lee]

Get the. Out of here.

[Andrew Santino]

Look at his upper body. It's creepshow. The walking creep show.

[Bobby Lee]

He's cute.

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah. Andrea don't lie.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah. Why are you. I'm not lying.

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah.

[Bobby Lee]

Stop it.

[Andrew Santino]

And then the lap. Can I just say this?

[Bobby Lee]

That's pissing me off.

[Andrew Santino]

Her last boyfriend, k. Pop star.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah.

[Andrew Santino]

He was not a star.

[Bobby Lee]

No, he was like a rapper or whatever. Indonesian. Rapper.

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah.

[Bobby Lee]

Indonesia.

[Andrew Santino]

He wrapped 30, 000 people at a show.

[Bobby Lee]

Do you know Rich Brian? No. Yeah, yeah. He. Nobody knows. I don't know who the. That.

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah, look up Rich Brian right now.

[Bobby Lee]

Cute.

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah.

[Bobby Lee]

Oh, I know this guy. Yeah, I do know this guy.

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah. So you know, he looks cool. You're gonna go from that to Richie. You're not going from that to Richie.

[Bobby Lee]

I think.

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah. Yeah. Look at him. Richie will never be on a red carpet. Let's just, like, love on the spectrum. Yeah, yeah.

[Bobby Lee]

Rich. Rich, though. I want to see you take that girl out on a date and enjoy it. Bad friends. Yeah. Bad friends will give you a. We'll give you a budget. We'll give them a budget. But here's the deal. Carlos car. No, not Carlos McCone has to be your chauffeur for the night. He's your Uber driver, so he can. And. And McCone set up a GoPro in the car so we can capture the interaction.

[Andrew Santino]

I'm driving.

[Bobby Lee]

No.

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah, I'm driving.

[Bobby Lee]

No, you'll sabotage.

[Andrew Santino]

No, no, I'm not gonna sabotage it.

[Bobby Lee]

That.

[Andrew Santino]

They want them to be safe. You're gonna steal her. No, I'm not. What? That's crazy.

[Bobby Lee]

She gets out of the car, I.

[Andrew Santino]

Gotta be the driver.

[Bobby Lee]

She's like, what's up with that Chinese guy driving us?

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah, yeah.

[Bobby Lee]

You want her.

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah. What?

[Bobby Lee]

But you want.

[Andrew Santino]

I don't want nobody, dude. First of all, you act as if you. That's owning human being. I don't want any.

[Bobby Lee]

Oh, I get it.

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. They're free people.

[Bobby Lee]

Oh, I get how you are.

[Andrew Santino]

They're free people.

[Bobby Lee]

You think you own women?

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah. They a pig.

[Andrew Santino]

You're a pig, dude.

[Bobby Lee]

You're a pig person too. It's a mutual. So women are below you? Is that what you're saying? Interesting. That's what Carlos heard. Let me say this.

[Andrew Santino]

Richie, go get me another Red Bull. Richie, go get me another Red Bull. Dude.

[Bobby Lee]

I have an idea. While he gets that.

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah.

[Bobby Lee]

I drive. I rent a Suburban. Okay? And it's you and him and her together. It's a tri date, and I'm the chauffeur for that's Fun. I take you guys out, and it's a competition to see which one of you. It's not for me, babe. It's for your enemy. I see. We. It's a. It's a three way, and I'm like the moderator, and we see which of you guys lands the girl at the end of the night. That, to me, is more fun.

[Andrew Santino]

It just depends on how old she is, because she's not over 30. I can't do it.

[Bobby Lee]

All right, so look, maybe we'll set up a three way date. She might be down. Ask her if she's interested in that, Carlos. And it'll be like a. It'll be a dating show that will be love on the spectrum. We'll see you guys.

[Andrew Santino]

Or it could be, you know, here's what it could be. Okay? It's me teaching Richie, coaching. Like a coach. Yeah, I feel like a love coach.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah, love coach.

[Andrew Santino]

That'd be good. You know, I mean, I'm gonna wear some threads.

[Bobby Lee]

I know how you're gonna dress.

[Andrew Santino]

I'm gonna suit it up, I think.

[Bobby Lee]

Are you gonna dress nice, Richard? Oh, yeah. What's nice? What's nice for you? Like, do you got. What do you. Do you do the collared shirt? Yeah, I do like a collared shirt. Little button down a little. Nice pants, slacks. Are we going jeans?

[Andrew Santino]

I'm gonna get a new suit.

[Bobby Lee]

He's gonna get. He's gonna go get an Italian handmade suit.

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah, yeah. I'm gonna get a new suit.

[Bobby Lee]

You know, he's gonna you over. He's gonna outshine you the whole day. Bobby's wearing. And then just one up. You're gonna. You're gonna one up, Bobby. I'm gonna try it.

[Andrew Santino]

Oh, this is gonna be fun.

[Bobby Lee]

You got a lot of nerve, bud. Yeah, I'm excited for this date. Train me. We could be like Anakin and Obi Wan. But not with the fighting at the end. No, no, the fighting.

[Andrew Santino]

Oh, that's a probably thing.

[Bobby Lee]

Anything let's get you a product suit. Yeah, it's a Karate Kid. Let's get you a Prada suit, Bobby. A four thousand dollar Prada suit.

[Andrew Santino]

Yes, yes.

[Bobby Lee]

They. Let's get him a suit. Let's get him a real nice suit.

[Andrew Santino]

Yes.

[Bobby Lee]

And then Richie will go take you to men's warehouse. You pick out anything you want.

[Andrew Santino]

So Andrea, just go back to her?

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah, yeah.

[Andrew Santino]

She's moving up in the world. She's. Now. She opened for Bill Burr. I know, right? Ronny Chang.

[Bobby Lee]

I know, right.

[Andrew Santino]

Whitney Cummings now. Okay. And John Mulaney. Yeah. Yeah. So you're on the rise. And she flaked on a gig with me. So am I a tier below them? No, no, be honest. Let's bad for. You haven't been on bad. This podcast is all about honesty and being real and authentic.

[Bobby Lee]

That was a mistake and I'm sorry. I shouldn't have flaked on. She tried to give me. She was like, who you taking on those new dates? And I said, devontra Coleman. She goes, oh, I guess anti woman. That's what she said.

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah, that's how you get your gigs. Yeah.

[Bobby Lee]

No, I said anti Chinese. I did say anti Chinese. Female.

[Andrew Santino]

Let me ask you, if Devontra. Yeah, right. Two days before a gig says, I can't go, what would you do?

[Bobby Lee]

I gotta get another black guy. Yeah, I gotta get another black.

[Andrew Santino]

Exactly.

[Bobby Lee]

My show is for young black men.

[Andrew Santino]

I'm gonna. Yeah, I know it is. So that's mine too.

[Bobby Lee]

That's what I got. That's what I put out.

[Andrew Santino]

There's no black people in the audience.

[Bobby Lee]

But also, when.

[Andrew Santino]

No, I get two or three.

[Bobby Lee]

She was like, how come you wouldn't take me on any of those dates? You get so much work.

[Andrew Santino]

Also, you ask.

[Bobby Lee]

She did.

[Andrew Santino]

Well, that's sneaky Chinese. I open for me. And then you asked my partner.

[Bobby Lee]

She did, yeah. I want to open. I want to open for. She wants to open for every single headliner. And I was like, no, you already get so much work. You open for Burr and then Mulaney. No, no, that's. You get. We have to spread it around. I'm greedy. She's greedy Chinese.

[Andrew Santino]

Oh, she's the greedy kind.

[Bobby Lee]

What?

[Andrew Santino]

I respect them, but you know what she's not.

[Bobby Lee]

They know they're greedy.

[Andrew Santino]

She's not the cut in the line kind.

[Bobby Lee]

Now she'll.

[Andrew Santino]

I've wait in lines with you.

[Bobby Lee]

She'll wait.

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah, yeah.

[Bobby Lee]

That's why we love you. You're going to wait. But I will say, man, the Chinese are Good.

[Andrew Santino]

They're so sneaky.

[Bobby Lee]

So good at what they do. God, no, but you're getting so much work. You don't need it. It. You're cruising. Bobby. I'm sorry. I. I was a mistake.

[Andrew Santino]

Let me say something. Okay. But can I. I think you're one of the fastest. Funniest rising comics.

[Bobby Lee]

She's doing great.

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah. I think you're so funny and original and all that stuff. Right. I just don't like your sneaky chopstick moves.

[Bobby Lee]

I'm not doing that.

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. And it's so sneaky and chopsticky.

[Bobby Lee]

That sneaky chopstick.

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah. You just do what? Yeah.

[Bobby Lee]

Coming to the stage.

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Bobby Lee]

Wait, that was a miscommunication.

[Andrew Santino]

It's not. I know. What?

[Bobby Lee]

You bailed on a date.

[Andrew Santino]

I.

[Bobby Lee]

And I. I thought it was one day only.

[Andrew Santino]

No, that. That's insane. Okay. So. All right. You want to get back into it? Let's do it.

[Bobby Lee]

Okay.

[Andrew Santino]

All right.

[Bobby Lee]

Okay.

[Andrew Santino]

The year before, right? If I'm. If I'm doing Stand Up Live.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah.

[Andrew Santino]

In Phoenix.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah.

[Andrew Santino]

One of the best rooms. America.

[Bobby Lee]

Sure.

[Andrew Santino]

Right. She did it a year before. It was four shows.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah.

[Andrew Santino]

Asked her to do it again. She thought it. Stop.

[Bobby Lee]

Okay.

[Andrew Santino]

Stop. Okay, okay. A Korean's talking.

[Bobby Lee]

Okay, but can I say something? Oh, dude. Wow. You're about to start another war.

[Andrew Santino]

Korea's Koreans talking.

[Bobby Lee]

I mean, I respect you.

[Andrew Santino]

No, no.

[Bobby Lee]

Your age, not because of Korea. Oh. Oh, this is racist.

[Andrew Santino]

That's racist.

[Bobby Lee]

I love it. Dude.

[Andrew Santino]

Our movies are elite. Our K Pop is unfathomable. Okay, okay.

[Bobby Lee]

We have.

[Andrew Santino]

I just want to say that we have stuff.

[Bobby Lee]

Samsung, bring up the terrace. Bring up the terrorists. Also Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon.

[Andrew Santino]

That. I'll give you that.

[Bobby Lee]

Okay. All right. Well, Gingers, I'm happy that you're here. You guys go take the boy on a walk.

[Andrew Santino]

All right. Anyway, go. Thank you for being a bad friend in there. Both of you.

[Bobby Lee]

Thank you for being a bad friend.

[Andrew Santino]

D.