Bobby Is Going to the White House

Summary

Podcast Summary: Bad Friends – Episode: "Bobby Is Going to the White House"

Release Date: May 5, 2025
Hosts: Bobby Lee & Andrew Santino
A 7EQUIS Production

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1. Degree Deodorant Formula Controversy [00:00 – 00:30]

The episode kicks off with a humorous recount of the backlash against Degree's Cool Rush deodorant formula change. Bobby Lee shares updates on how the brand responded to consumer dissatisfaction.

• Bobby Lee [00:09]:
  "DEGREE heard us, admitted they messed up and brought the original Cool Rush scent back exactly how it was."

• Andrew Santino [00:09]:
  "Degree Cool Rush is back, and it smells like victory for all of us."

2. Friendship Banter and Self-Deprecation [00:40 – 04:00]

Bobby and Andrew engage in their signature playful insults, establishing their dynamic as "bad friends." They delve into personal anecdotes about grooming habits, youthful appearances, and the inherent pains of maintaining relationships.

• Bobby Lee [00:57]:
  "I shaved all my pubes down there to look like a little boy. I don't know why I did that."

• Andrew Santino [01:53]:
  "The pain of relationships."

3. Movie Discussions and Emotional Reflections [04:00 – 09:00]

The hosts discuss their preferences and discomforts with various films. Bobby expresses a longing for the innocence of first kisses, inspired by shows like Love on the Spectrum and classic films such as Brokeback Mountain.

• Bobby Lee [02:32]:
  "I want that purity of the first kiss."

• Andrew Santino [07:32]:
  "He almost died."
  (Referring to a first-time kiss scene)

4. Love on the Spectrum and Emotional Reactions [09:00 – 14:00]

Bobby becomes emotional while discussing Love on the Spectrum, highlighting the show’s impact on him and Andrew's initial skepticism.

• Bobby Lee [03:29]:
  "I had a. I cried."

• Andrew Santino [04:19]:
  "I'm saving it."

5. Blockbuster and Edited Films Anecdote [14:00 – 18:00]

An anecdote about Blockbuster’s historical practice of editing films to meet conservative standards surfaces. Bobby shares his experience with Last Tango in Paris, believing the film was censored during his rental.

• Bobby Lee [13:11]:
  "Like Last Tango in Paris, they edited Blockbuster edited movies because they're Mormons."

• Andrew Santino [14:07]:
  "Somebody edited it in San Diego then."

6. The White House Invitation Hoax [18:00 – 53:00]

The core of the episode revolves around a fraudulent email inviting Bobby to dine at the White House. The hosts navigate skepticism, attempts to verify the invitation, and the eventual realization of the hoax.

• Andrew Santino [15:21]:
  "Mr. Lee, as you probably saw, Bill Maher was just at the White House for dinner with..."

• Bobby Lee [17:04]:
  "I'm gonna call my manager if it's real."

• Carlos [14:44]:
  "They emailed us."

• Bobby Lee [28:16]:
  "That's who reaches out."

• Bobby Lee [53:04]:
  "I want to apologize to everyone listening. I did believe it was true. I did gloat. I made myself a fool."

7. Apologies and Reflections on the Hoax [53:00 – 55:00]

Bobby Lee extends a heartfelt apology to the listeners for falling for the hoax, expressing regret over making himself appear foolish and acknowledging the humor in the situation.

• Bobby Lee [53:02]:
  "I want to apologize to everyone listening."

• Andrew Santino [53:38]:
  "We are really like us. We are really tied together."

8. Sports Banter: Soccer and Baseball Highlights [55:00 – 62:30]

Shifting gears, the hosts discuss impressive performances in sports, highlighting soccer star Declan Rice and baseball phenom Shohei Ohtani.

• Bobby Lee [56:47]:
  "He's a good looking guy, this kid, Declan Rice."

• Andrew Santino [60:12]:
  "He’s a God. He's got to be 6'6". How much does he weigh?"

• Bobby Lee [60:30]:
  "He's on the highlights for amazing free kicks against Real Madrid."

9. Closing Remarks and Future Plans [62:30 – 63:21]

The episode wraps up with playful threats and plans for future collaborations, maintaining their comedic rapport.

• Andrew Santino [63:15]:
  "Thank you for being a bad friend. I might not be here next week."

• Bobby Lee [63:21]:
  "Yeah."

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Notable Quotes with Timestamps:

• Bobby Lee [00:25]:
  "Degree heard us, admitted they messed up and brought the original Cool Rush scent back exactly how it was."

• Andrew Santino [05:08]:
  "So the last episode, there's a first time kiss."

• Bobby Lee [17:04]:
  "I'm gonna call my manager if it's real."

• Bobby Lee [53:05]:
  "I want to apologize to everyone listening. I did believe it was true. I did gloat. I made myself a fool."

• Andrew Santino [60:27]:
  "Shohei Ohtani is a God."

---

Summary:

In this lively episode of Bad Friends, Bobby Lee and Andrew Santino navigate a mix of personal anecdotes, humorous banter, and unexpected challenges. They kick off with a lighthearted take on the resurgence of Degree Cool Rush deodorant before delving into deeper conversations about relationships and the influence of media, such as Love on the Spectrum. The heart of the episode revolves around a convincing White House invitation hoax, which leads to moments of disbelief, investigation, and ultimately, heartfelt apologies for the initial gullibility. Shifting from drama to humor, the duo celebrates impressive sports achievements, specifically praising Declan Rice and Shohei Ohtani for their stellar performances in soccer and baseball respectively. Throughout the episode, their chemistry as "bad friends" shines, blending wit with genuine reflections, making it both entertaining and relatable for listeners.

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Key Takeaways:

• Authenticity Matters: Even amidst humor and banter, the importance of verifying information is highlighted through the White House invitation hoax.

• Emotional Depth: Discussions on personal relationships and emotional reactions to media reveal the hosts' vulnerabilities and growth.

• Sports Excellence: Celebrating outstanding athletes underscores the value of dedication and talent in sports.

• Humorous Friendships: The playful insults and camaraderie between Bobby and Andrew exemplify the essence of their "bad friends" dynamic, balancing humor with heartfelt moments.

---

Conclusion:

"Bobby Is Going to the White House" is a quintessential episode of Bad Friends, blending comedy with candid conversations. From navigating deceptive invitations to celebrating athletic prowess, Bobby Lee and Andrew Santino offer listeners a rollercoaster of emotions wrapped in their unique comedic style. The episode underscores the duo's ability to tackle serious topics with levity, making it a memorable listen for fans and newcomers alike.

Transcript

[Bobby Lee]

Fellas, you know degree Cool Rush deodorant, right? Well, last year they changed the formula and guys were mad about it. One dude even started a petition.

[Andrew Santino]

So guess what?

[Bobby Lee]

DEGREE heard us, admitted they messed up and brought the original Cool Rush scent back exactly how it was. And it's in Walmart, Target and other stores now for under $4. So grab some and remember why its cool, crisp and fresh scent made it the number one men's antiperspirant for the last decade.

[Andrew Santino]

Degree Cool Rush is back, and it.

[Bobby Lee]

Smells like victory for all of us.

[Andrew Santino]

This podcast is sponsored by Huel H.

[Bobby Lee]

U E L. New customers can use code bad friends for 15 off plus a free gift. You two are bad friends.

[Andrew Santino]

Who are these two idiots?

[Bobby Lee]

You two are disgusting. Oh, you two or something. We're bad friends. I've been breaking it like a teenager.

[Andrew Santino]

You got a little pimp.

[Bobby Lee]

I just adhere. This one's a whitehead. I'm breaking out like tj.

[Andrew Santino]

Whiteheads are better than black.

[Bobby Lee]

I shaved all my pubes down there to look like a little boy. I don't know why I did that. You know, I mean, why? You can't say that.

[Andrew Santino]

Did you really? You went. Let me see why you went flush?

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah.

[Andrew Santino]

Oh, my God, that's so funny. Why did you do that?

[Bobby Lee]

Desire to be youthful. And then I. And then I. And then I shave my head to look boyish. And everyone's like, you look so boyish. And because of the losing the way, too, I kind of look boyish. You do like data from the Goonies.

[Andrew Santino]

A little bit, right?

[Bobby Lee]

You know, I mean, you know, I mean, like, supplies or whatever that, you know, surprise or whatever. And so I feel youthful. I feel energetic. I'm in a very good mood. But you know what? I. I'm going to say something to you, pal, because you're my best buddy, you know, I mean, and your redness. Really. I think about it at night. I know I just said that, but I do. I like the. I want the pain. I'm addicted to the pain.

[Andrew Santino]

The pain of relationships.

[Bobby Lee]

If you look in the mood for love. Wong Kar Wai, you know how they can't. They're in love with each other, but they can't.

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah, they just can't do it.

[Bobby Lee]

Paris, Texas. They can't.

[Andrew Santino]

Brokeback Mountain. They do.

[Bobby Lee]

And they do it good. When they do. They do it good. And they do it hard, but they do it sensual. I never saw the movie, but in my mind.

[Andrew Santino]

You never watched it?

[Bobby Lee]

No, but I've had dinner with Jake before, and I Saw in his eyes.

[Andrew Santino]

I've never watched that. Yeah, I didn't watch it either. Isn't that weird?

[Bobby Lee]

You know what it is?

[Andrew Santino]

Everybody watches.

[Bobby Lee]

We have to watch it because you know what it is? I think it's because maybe I'm like, I'll be uncomfortable, but I'm. I'm into that kind of love.

[Andrew Santino]

Why don't we do a bad friends viewing party of Brokeback?

[Bobby Lee]

We have to do it and invite.

[Andrew Santino]

All of our fans to come out to watch it with us.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah, yeah. We have to watch Brokeback. There's a couple of things La La Land I can't watch.

[Andrew Santino]

Never seen it.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah, yeah. I mean, what movies can't you watch? There's a string of them. Like when you said Aurora.

[Andrew Santino]

What?

[Bobby Lee]

Whatever. Anora. Anora.

[Andrew Santino]

Anora.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. You watched it, never saw it. Oh, because of you.

[Andrew Santino]

It's worth a watch.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah, yeah. And so there's just certain movies. Baby girl, I can't watch it. I buy it. I can't watch it.

[Andrew Santino]

Would. Because of the social restriction behind it. You feel like you're not supposed to watch it. It's not you.

[Bobby Lee]

Issa Gilroy killed it on Black Mirror. I didn't see it the first episode. She's in Black Mirror. She killed it.

[Andrew Santino]

I'm watching. I'm watching a third season of Netflix's autistic love show. What's it called? Love on the Spectrum.

[Bobby Lee]

Dude, I finish. Okay, I'm gonna tell you about that. May I tell you about Love on Spectrum?

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah, bro.

[Bobby Lee]

I had a. I cried.

[Andrew Santino]

I'm excited for your episode. Are you on the third or fourth season?

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah.

[Andrew Santino]

No, don't. That's not. You ruin the bit.

[Bobby Lee]

I can't. Why can't I do that?

[Andrew Santino]

You are autistic.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah, I am, Andrew.

[Andrew Santino]

Okay.

[Bobby Lee]

Connor's the best.

[Andrew Santino]

Connor is the king.

[Bobby Lee]

Is the king.

[Andrew Santino]

And also, Connor, come on this show, if you're.

[Bobby Lee]

Did you finish the very final episode?

[Andrew Santino]

I haven't done all of them.

[Bobby Lee]

Don't do anything. Or can I just say something at the end of it, though?

[Andrew Santino]

No, don't.

[Bobby Lee]

I'm not going to. I'm not going to ruin it for you. I have to say what I need to say.

[Andrew Santino]

It's going to. If it ruins it, I'm going to be pissed off. Dude.

[Bobby Lee]

Well, you pissed off at me.

[Andrew Santino]

It's my nightly watch. It's my favorite thing to watch at night.

[Bobby Lee]

I burned through it.

[Andrew Santino]

I. Dude, I'm saving it. You know, so funny. You know when you get it. You know when you get something from your mom when you're a kid. And it's sweet and delicious, and you're like, I want to. I want to savor this. And I take little, tiny, little tiny bites because I know I want to eat the whole thing.

[Bobby Lee]

Mine was squid. Yeah. Yeah. I want to take the tentacle, the dry tentacle, and just suck it through my mouth.

[Andrew Santino]

Well, don't you have to do that before they suck? They suck into your mouth if you don't do it right. Don't they suction to your mouth when you're eating?

[Bobby Lee]

We have our own styles.

[Andrew Santino]

You do.

[Bobby Lee]

Exactly.

[Andrew Santino]

I thought of you the other day at sushi. The chef looked exactly like you. I'm not even kidding. He looked exactly like you. And I kept looking at him thinking, I miss Bob.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah, I do.

[Andrew Santino]

I missed you so much while I was gone so long.

[Bobby Lee]

Went to the Abbey. I was thinking about you. I mean, how does that feel?

[Andrew Santino]

I don't get it. What is that?

[Bobby Lee]

You're gay.

[Andrew Santino]

I'm gay.

[Bobby Lee]

Can I finish my. Can I finish my thing?

[Andrew Santino]

Oh, Abby. The gay nightclub.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Andrew Santino]

I even worked there for years.

[Bobby Lee]

I know, but when you did. Oh, wow.

[Andrew Santino]

That was me.

[Bobby Lee]

So what I'm going to say something is, is that in the last episode of the very last episode of Love.

[Andrew Santino]

On the Spectrum, if this ruins it, I will fight you.

[Bobby Lee]

That's your problem.

[Andrew Santino]

I'm.

[Bobby Lee]

I'm. I'm setting boundaries with you right now.

[Andrew Santino]

This is me setting a boundary. I don't want to hear it if it's going to ruin this.

[Bobby Lee]

Well, then close your eyes and your ears.

[Andrew Santino]

No. We're on a show together. Don't ruin it. Well, then don't ruin it for the listeners.

[Bobby Lee]

I'm not gonna. I'm not gonna ruin. I'm gonna say it as lightly as I can, okay? No, you listen. I'm not. I promise. Listen, put your headphones on.

[Andrew Santino]

No.

[Bobby Lee]

Are you my friend?

[Andrew Santino]

Not right now.

[Bobby Lee]

Do you have trust with me?

[Andrew Santino]

Not with Love on the Spectrum.

[Bobby Lee]

Just you're acting like them right now, all right? And you're mocking them. I don't like it.

[Andrew Santino]

The one kid that I put that puts on headphones and listens to white noise on the dates. One of the funniest things I've ever seen. He's like, I'd like to listen to white noise instead of her. Is so great.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah. So anyway, the last episode, there's a first time kiss. I'm not gonna. I'm not gonna tell you who it is and who it's with. Is that better?

[Andrew Santino]

Just finish.

[Bobby Lee]

Okay. There's a first time kiss and his reaction. His or hers reaction to the kiss, right? What? So the last episode, you know, I mean, an individual kisses another individual and the purity of his reaction or her reaction.

[Andrew Santino]

So annoying. Dude, you're so annoying.

[Bobby Lee]

I know. Let's just say it, Connor. His reaction.

[Andrew Santino]

God, you're dead.

[Bobby Lee]

I. I know, but that's life. Yes. Bruce Willis is dead in fucking that movie.

[Andrew Santino]

You don't even know the movie.

[Bobby Lee]

Yes, I do, dude. Sixth Sense, all right? And if you haven't seen it by now, that's your bad. It's been out.

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah, but Love in the Spectrum just came out. You're right.

[Bobby Lee]

We're through it. No, yeah, yeah.

[Andrew Santino]

Anyway, he gets it.

[Bobby Lee]

Giuseppe win one of the seasons of Bake Off.

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah, he does, right? Okay, so he gets a kiss, right?

[Bobby Lee]

And his reaction, it's. It's so pure and it's like. Let's be honest. Can we be honest with each other?

[Andrew Santino]

I can hear him in his. In my mind going, wow, that was the greatest kiss I've ever had. I love him. He's so, like, emotional.

[Bobby Lee]

He went into convulsions.

[Andrew Santino]

Oh, yeah. You ever got some good before?

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah, that's not pussy. It's a kiss.

[Andrew Santino]

I'll be shaking.

[Bobby Lee]

It was a closed mouth kiss. And he does this. And his last line is, I can't feel my legs.

[Andrew Santino]

Oh, he has a heart attack.

[Bobby Lee]

He almost died.

[Andrew Santino]

He has a stroke.

[Bobby Lee]

But what I'm saying is, is that there's a purity. And you and I, bud, we're so jaded and we've been in the saddle for so long, we've lost that innocence.

[Andrew Santino]

Of the first kiss.

[Bobby Lee]

Of the first kiss. And what I'm saying is, is that I want that.

[Andrew Santino]

Do you remember your first kiss?

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah. And then she. And then she ghosted me. We didn't have that terminology. She didn't shake. Yeah, yeah, that's her. She didn't talk to me right Monday at school.

[Andrew Santino]

Why?

[Bobby Lee]

It was middle school, really. She was ashamed that she kissed me, right? And then two years later, I was at a McDonald's and she was working there. And I laughed right in her face. Okay, I did. Well, you working here. I did that.

[Andrew Santino]

What was she working? The fry. The. The.

[Bobby Lee]

No, front desk. Listen, I wouldn't have done that.

[Andrew Santino]

Front desk. Like it's a fucking hotel.

[Bobby Lee]

I don't know what McDonald's works, but.

[Andrew Santino]

It'S like, there's a concierge at McDonald's.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. She was the host And I left her party for one. Yeah, that was mean, what I just did. But that's the truth. And it's like she ghosted me and I did that. And then, I don't know, she's doing some sort of thing.

[Andrew Santino]

That's street justice. If she ghosted you, you get a. You get a laugh. You're allowed one laugh.

[Bobby Lee]

Well, it's like one of those things where it's like.

[Andrew Santino]

Because it hurt your feelings.

[Bobby Lee]

There was a girl in Dallas who had sex with a lot of comics, right? And then what happened was years later, Russell Peters comes up to me and goes, you know, so and so from the club, the girl. And I go, yeah. I mean, she said. He goes, I had sex with her too. I go, I did too. And she goes, she didn't mention you. So I'm embarrassing. And this day stops here, right now, Right? I'm a cool guy.

[Andrew Santino]

No longer not a cool guy.

[Bobby Lee]

You know what somebody called me the other day? Zaddy.

[Carlos]

Oh, that's awesome.

[Bobby Lee]

I'm a zaddy. I have style.

[Andrew Santino]

What's the Z?

[Bobby Lee]

I don't know.

[Carlos]

Just zesty.

[Bobby Lee]

Zesty?

[Andrew Santino]

Dude, that's gay. Zesty means gay.

[Carlos]

But zesty's kind of cool in California.

[Andrew Santino]

No, but zesty in. In young talk is gay.

[Bobby Lee]

I'm an older man, right? I'm stylish, charming and self confident.

[Andrew Santino]

But look at what zesty means.

[Carlos]

But you're not self confident.

[Bobby Lee]

What am I?

[Carlos]

You require other outside validation for the.

[Bobby Lee]

And inside, though. I do sometimes. Inside. All right, so that's fucked up, what you just said. Yes, I quote, cry a lot outside.

[Andrew Santino]

Zesty typically means having a lively spirit and pleasing character. Often you don't look at me.

[Bobby Lee]

Lively. Hello.

[Andrew Santino]

It's often context to suggest a person's behavior is effeminate or flamboyantly gay.

[Bobby Lee]

Oh, can you be metrosexual?

[Andrew Santino]

That term is gone now. No one uses that anymore.

[Bobby Lee]

I'm in Casablanca. Let's do Casablanca. Yeah. Hello, my dear.

[Andrew Santino]

You're being real zesty right now.

[Bobby Lee]

I'm trying to be. Don't that. That takes, dude. That doesn't improve my self esteem. I'm trying to be real, dude.

[Andrew Santino]

Frankly, you know what? I don't give a damn. That's not because of Blanket? No.

[Bobby Lee]

Well, I don't ever saw it, but that era.

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah.

[Bobby Lee]

Hello, my lady. No, that's not what you sound like.

[Andrew Santino]

You're trying to sound like a white guy.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah, yeah. Hello. More Asian.

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah, more Asian. Be a smooth Asian.

[Bobby Lee]

Hello, my lady. You hang out in Morocco often?

[Andrew Santino]

Here's rooking at you, kid. Could have never done that. Okay, here's a rooking at a you, kid.

[Bobby Lee]

You be suave.

[Andrew Santino]

By the way, he's smoking a cigarette, squatting down when she gets.

[Bobby Lee]

All right, guy, first of all, it's not. It's opium.

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah, yeah, he is a rooking at. Wait, zoom into that one. That's the one. Zoom in. Yeah.

[Bobby Lee]

You be you. You be 1954.

[Andrew Santino]

If that praying Reeves and you're not with him, you would regret it. Maybe not today, maybe not the tomorrow up, dude, but soon and pour the rest of your life. Dude. Why can't we remake these in Asian characters? So funny. Okay, you're trying to be zesty, dude. Don't do it. You are.

[Bobby Lee]

You try to be 1950. I'll be like, hello.

[Andrew Santino]

Hey, kid.

[Bobby Lee]

Hello. What is your name?

[Andrew Santino]

Why don't you take off that girdle and let me take it for a spin?

[Bobby Lee]

Oh, that's how easy it is. You look direct.

[Andrew Santino]

Well, they were rude. They, like, said whatever they felt back then.

[Bobby Lee]

You don't go, would you like. Would you like something?

[Andrew Santino]

Who owns you, kid?

[Bobby Lee]

Who owns you?

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah, a man doing it wrong.

[Bobby Lee]

All right. Would you like to be in chains?

[Andrew Santino]

No, no.

[Bobby Lee]

Too much.

[Andrew Santino]

Too much. You don't chain them up.

[Bobby Lee]

Why?

[Andrew Santino]

They just tell them what to do.

[Bobby Lee]

Cage back into my mansion. I'm like, too far. Yeah, I gotta fight. Ride the line there.

[Andrew Santino]

By the way, I want this as a shirt for him and I. Okay, Bobby, I think this is the beginning of a beautiful friendship. I want that on a shirt for us. That's the end of the movie. I never saw it, you know now.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah, yeah.

[Andrew Santino]

That's funny that you are such a cinephile. The fact that you haven't seen that blows my mind.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah, I should see it because you're.

[Andrew Santino]

A die hard cinephile. In fact, someone else said that to me. They go, rosebud.

[Bobby Lee]

I've seen that.

[Andrew Santino]

Someone goes, what's. What's Bobby's like, secret superpower? And I said, his knowledge of cinema is way deeper than almost anybody of our friend circle knows. I don't think many people know how deep it really goes. We joke on the show a little bit, but you really do know a about movies more than I think. No, dude, you're. I'm nowhere near you. You're so niche. You've got all the niche, like, laid in really well.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah.

[Andrew Santino]

Fancy tries to compete because of all that film school nonsense.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah. But he had taught that I was street. That correct. Yeah. I went To Blockbuster.

[Andrew Santino]

You were learned.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah, yeah.

[Andrew Santino]

You were learned.

[Bobby Lee]

Like Last Tango in Paris. They edited. Do you know that they edited Blockbuster edited movies because they're Mormons.

[Andrew Santino]

Is this real?

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah. So when you saw Last Tango Paris, there's like no sex. I was like 12 years old with my dick out.

[Andrew Santino]

Nobody.

[Bobby Lee]

Because I heard. You mean there's a lot of nudity in Last Pango Tango and Perez.

[Andrew Santino]

And I was just like, this can't be true, dude. Because I rented. I rented Jerry Maguire from Blockbuster. And the sex scene at the beginning I used to jerk off to all the time.

[Bobby Lee]

No, I mean really deep ones. Like. Like, did they. Am I right or.

[Andrew Santino]

No, there was a. There was a. There was a rumor regarding edit to the films from Blockbuster rental at the stores. That's not true. It's a. It's a. It's a. It's a.

[Bobby Lee]

So they maybe. Maybe there was like a. Like a R rated version.

[Andrew Santino]

Well, I'm sure they did other rated versions.

[Bobby Lee]

Maybe that's what it was.

[Andrew Santino]

For sale for sure.

[Bobby Lee]

Maybe that was. Yeah.

[Andrew Santino]

Do you want to give him his gift? By now, Blockbuster was known to request and sometimes demand edits to films in order to stock them. Particularly in the 90s practice often tied to conservative ideologies. Oh, so it did happen.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah, there we go.

[Andrew Santino]

But it's at the request of the store.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah, that's exactly.

[Andrew Santino]

Somebody edited it in San Diego then.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah.

[Andrew Santino]

So we didn't have. I never heard of that.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah, yeah, it was completely edited.

[Andrew Santino]

San Diego is not a Mormon area.

[Bobby Lee]

Right, Though it's very conservative.

[Andrew Santino]

Very Christian conservative. Yeah, yeah, yeah, that is true.

[Bobby Lee]

I remember my. My school was that kid that, like, if you're gay, you're gonna go to hell. You know, he wore that shirt and it was a big controversy.

[Andrew Santino]

You went to school with Trump?

[Bobby Lee]

No. Matt Gates.

[Carlos]

Bob, we have a crazy present for you.

[Bobby Lee]

I'd love it to see it.

[Carlos]

This just happened over the weekend and we wanted to save it for the recording. Yeah, but this came through your reps. What is this?

[Bobby Lee]

I already got. I already got a. A trophy. Is that what it is?

[Carlos]

No, it's not a trophy.

[Andrew Santino]

Well, hold. Time out. What's the trophy for?

[Bobby Lee]

Borderlands.

[Andrew Santino]

Worst movie ever. They make trophies for that?

[Bobby Lee]

No, it was IMDb's best ensemble cast.

[Carlos]

Oh, that's cool.

[Andrew Santino]

Who petitioned for that? Dude, that's a.

[Bobby Lee]

Put it in my mantle.

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah, but that's a political move. That's insane.

[Bobby Lee]

It doesn't matter. I. I treat it like it's an Oscar. I wipe it every Day trophy.

[Andrew Santino]

The trophy should have just been beautiful. A big bomb.

[Carlos]

All right, we got this from your reps here.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah. What is it?

[Andrew Santino]

Let me see here.

[Carlos]

I'm just gonna do this.

[Bobby Lee]

White House.

[Carlos]

Yeah.

[Andrew Santino]

Shut the.

[Carlos]

It's crazy, dude.

[Andrew Santino]

Bobby Lee. Mr. Dear Mr. Lee, as you probably saw, Bill Maher was just at the White House for dinner with myself, Bob, Kid Rock and Dana. Many people love that. He came and had dinner with me and had nothing but amazing thing to tell the people. He had a wonderful time. I hope you call and ask him. I spoke to my son, Baron this weekend who I'm sure you know, and he recommended you so highly that I had to have us reach out immediately. You come very highly recommended, Mr. Lee. So we would like to invite you to the White House for dinner. Shut the fuck up. In the state dining room. This Wednesday.

[Bobby Lee]

Is that Donald's? Is that Donald's signature?

[Andrew Santino]

I very strongly believe you'll see that.

[Bobby Lee]

If this one is your tricks, I swear to God, I will lose my mind.

[Carlos]

Dude, dude, this is crazy.

[Bobby Lee]

This is a donut. Another donut.

[Andrew Santino]

No, look, it's from Matt. It's from your agent. I got the email.

[Bobby Lee]

I'm gonna call my manager if it's real.

[Andrew Santino]

No, it's say your agent.

[Carlos]

Yeah, call your agent.

[Bobby Lee]

You can't go.

[Andrew Santino]

You can't go. We're recording that day.

[Bobby Lee]

Oh, God. Look, you and I have to go.

[Andrew Santino]

No, we're shooting. We're doing the voiceover that day.

[Carlos]

When is it on Tuesday. You're doing that on Wednesday. He can go. He can fly out Wednesday morning.

[Andrew Santino]

Call a call who? Well, who get. Who gave it to you?

[Carlos]

CIA.

[Bobby Lee]

I'm just gonna call Abby. She must know about it.

[Andrew Santino]

Oh my.

[Bobby Lee]

Because if she doesn't know about it, then it's not real.

[Andrew Santino]

Why the do you get an invite and I don't get a. Dude, I'm.

[Bobby Lee]

Very knowledgeable about our politics and tariffs. Yeah, I'm Chinese. Dude, we're going to no negotiate.

[Andrew Santino]

Oh, that's what it is? He wants you to negotiate the tariffs?

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah, maybe for Korea or something.

[Andrew Santino]

Wow.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah. Are you being real right now? Dude, it's insane.

[Andrew Santino]

Great manager.

[Bobby Lee]

It's a Sunday.

[Andrew Santino]

What the fuck does that mean? We're working.

[Carlos]

CAA has a nighttime.

[Bobby Lee]

Oh, fuck.

[Andrew Santino]

Call your fucking agent.

[Bobby Lee]

Matt?

[Carlos]

Yeah.

[Bobby Lee]

You think Matt Blyk will know?

[Carlos]

Yeah, he's on the front.

[Andrew Santino]

Look, he's copied on the fucking.

[Bobby Lee]

Oh, I'm gonna call him right now. He'll pick up. He'll pick up for sure. I needed to get to the bottom of this. I'm so sorry. This is so weird.

[Andrew Santino]

You gotta frame that.

[Bobby Lee]

I gotta frame it. Do you have it physically or. No.

[Carlos]

No.

[Bobby Lee]

Print it out for me. Thanks.

[Carlos]

Yeah, we'll put on nice paper.

[Andrew Santino]

We have to frame that and put that up in the studio. Look at Trump's signature. Trump signed it, wants you to come to the.

[Bobby Lee]

Hold on.

[Andrew Santino]

Wow.

[Bobby Lee]

Well, because Baron likes me. Yeah.

[Carlos]

I think he watches.

[Andrew Santino]

That's the same thing he did with Theo and all those guys. Your call has been forwarded.

[Bobby Lee]

Oh, my God. So.

[Andrew Santino]

What a team. What a team.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah.

[Andrew Santino]

And by the way, the Sunday excuse, that's such a crock of.

[Carlos]

Yeah.

[Bobby Lee]

Okay, but let me ask you something. Okay.

[Andrew Santino]

Is your phone on?

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah. Let me ask you something. I'll see if they call.

[Andrew Santino]

This is so annoying. Why wouldn't I get invited?

[Bobby Lee]

Because you're not. He knows.

[Andrew Santino]

What does he know?

[Bobby Lee]

I. I'm more, you know, me, educated when it comes to the, you know, I mean, economics and jurisdictions and. You mean. Yeah. Tariffs and whatnot.

[Andrew Santino]

What the are you talking about?

[Bobby Lee]

Well, he knows about my expertise on all things, not just golf and bowling.

[Andrew Santino]

He loves both of those things. He golfs more than he does presidential shit.

[Bobby Lee]

Ok, but I'm just saying, he also. When they see me on camera, they see the wisdom.

[Andrew Santino]

Who's the most golfed president of all time?

[Bobby Lee]

That has nothing to do with shit, dude. Did you get an invite for the President of the United States?

[Carlos]

I'm the guy.

[Andrew Santino]

Fuck you. Shut up.

[Bobby Lee]

You know. Hey, that is crazy. I will. I can't go because we have shit to do.

[Andrew Santino]

What do you mean you can't go? You have to go.

[Bobby Lee]

Do I really have to go? Do they fly you out?

[Carlos]

Yes.

[Andrew Santino]

What the fuck are you talking about? Do you. Who do you think this is?

[Bobby Lee]

Are you jealous that you get to.

[Andrew Santino]

Go to the White House? Yeah, man. What the fuck are you talking.

[Bobby Lee]

But if. If we both could go, would you go?

[Andrew Santino]

If we both can go, would I go? Yeah, I want to go.

[Bobby Lee]

So why can't you be my guest?

[Andrew Santino]

That's not a real thing. You don't get to just fucking say, I'm bringing somebody.

[Bobby Lee]

No plus ones.

[Andrew Santino]

There's no. You can't. You can't go. Hey, I'm bringing a friend. That's insane. Maybe if you were. Oh, can I be your wife?

[Bobby Lee]

You Melania. You're my Melania.

[Andrew Santino]

I will go with you to White House.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah, this is my wife. She was in a fire.

[Andrew Santino]

I was burned.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah, she's not redhead. She's actually from Slovakia, near where Melania's from.

[Andrew Santino]

I'm from Slovakia, but I was in fire.

[Bobby Lee]

In fire? Yeah.

[Andrew Santino]

My teeth burned off.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah. And she loves plunging into lava.

[Andrew Santino]

I'm a big plunger.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah. So that's why the distortion.

[Andrew Santino]

You're gonna kill it at dinner.

[Bobby Lee]

You think so?

[Andrew Santino]

Let's hear. Let's hear.

[Bobby Lee]

Will you be Trump?

[Andrew Santino]

Wonderful to meet you, Bobby. What do you think? Bobby, what do you think of the White House? It's the whitest house I've ever had. This.

[Bobby Lee]

Really pleased to meet you, Brock. I mean, Donald. I fucked up already. Oh, my God.

[Carlos]

This is the dining room you'll be in.

[Bobby Lee]

Oh, my God. Dude. Who else is my crew? I have to know who my crew is.

[Andrew Santino]

They're not gonna tell you.

[Carlos]

Kid Rock will probably be there again.

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah.

[Carlos]

I think he goes a bunch.

[Andrew Santino]

He's got a house, he's got a room there.

[Bobby Lee]

No. Did Bill Mar gets scorched for going?

[Andrew Santino]

No, I don't think so. What do you mean a little bit? Did he. But did it mattered? Left from the left. He is. He is left.

[Bobby Lee]

This little center feel.

[Carlos]

Yeah. It changed recently.

[Bobby Lee]

Oh, my God, this is so exciting. I've never had anything. You know, honestly, dude, if this is false, you're gonna break my heart. If it's one of your little shenanigans.

[Andrew Santino]

Acorns. Today's episode is sponsored by Acorns. Acorns is a financial wellness app that makes it easy to start saving and investing for your future.

[Bobby Lee]

You have to be a squirrel, and you have to take the nut and you have to put it in the tree hole because winter's coming.

[Andrew Santino]

Winter is coming. Winter even might be here.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah.

[Andrew Santino]

What's the best piece of a money advice that you ever got, Bobby? Mine was save. Save some.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah.

[Andrew Santino]

Have some fun. But make sure.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah.

[Andrew Santino]

You got a little something hidden away in the mattress. And now we're not doing mattresses anymore.

[Bobby Lee]

My grandfather said, hick be squirrel, be squirrel. Take a.

[Andrew Santino]

Pull a hole, put it there.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah.

[Andrew Santino]

Bobby's a little bit older than me. He's been saving a little bit longer because he's smarter than me as well.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah.

[Andrew Santino]

I just recently started kind of actually putting away for the future. I don't have kids. Okay. But I want to put away from my other loved ones. And you may want that, too, if you. Whether you have kids or not.

[Bobby Lee]

But, you know, a lot of people get confused, like, I don't know much about it. You don't need to be an expert. Acorn recommends a diversified portfolio that can help you Weather all the market's ups and downs.

[Andrew Santino]

That's right. Because there's a lot of downs.

[Bobby Lee]

A lot of downs, but many ups.

[Andrew Santino]

There's many ups and they're on the way. Yes, we can only hope you don't need to be rich. Acorns let you get started with just the spare money you've got right now. And even if all you got is spare change. And I'm telling you with Acorns they can help you grow for the future at your own pace, at your own rate. So if you're looking to sign up now and join the over 14 million all time customers who have already saved and invested over $25 billion with Acorns, head over to acorns.com/bad friends or download the Acorns app to get started. Paid not client endorsement. Compensation provides incentive to positive promote Acorns tier 3 compensation provided investing involves risk. Acorns Advertisers LLC and SEC registered investment advertiser. View important [e-mail] Bad friends yo flat feet. Oh my.

[Bobby Lee]

Oh your shoulder.

[Andrew Santino]

Oh my shoulder. My shoulder is because of my flat feet. I need to go see a doctor. How do I go find one? You got to get.

[Bobby Lee]

You got to go to Zoc Talk and I'll tell you what it is. Zoc Tuck is a free app, Andrew and website where you can search and compare high quality in network doctors and click to instantly book an appointment.

[Andrew Santino]

Oh, I know about Zach Doc. Right. Because you can filter for doctors that take your insurance. They're located near you. Right. And then also they. They kind of have like an actual booking appointments. You can do it and instantly book. You click a visit right away, right?

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah.

[Andrew Santino]

Wow.

[Bobby Lee]

And appointments made through ZOC Talk. Andrew, I don't know if you know this also happen super fast. Yeah. Typically with 7024 to 72 hours of booking and you can even score same day appointments.

[Andrew Santino]

You think I can get an appointment for my neck?

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah.

[Andrew Santino]

Okay, good. And honestly I need it really bad because I want someone that's in my neighborhood and I want real patient reviews. Do they do that?

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah, you 100% do it.

[Andrew Santino]

Oh God. Well then can you tell me how to. Where do I go? And I gotta.

[Bobby Lee]

Well I gotta tell you something else before that, right?

[Andrew Santino]

What?

[Bobby Lee]

Stop putting off those doctor's appointment Andrew and go to zocdoc.com bad friends to find an instantly book at top rated doctor today.

[Andrew Santino]

I'm not good at spelling. Is that z o c-o c.com bad friends.

[Bobby Lee]

I'm not good at either, but I think you got it right.

[Andrew Santino]

I think it's Zocdoc.com. bad friends.

[Bobby Lee]

Yep. Did you see that? It was.

[Andrew Santino]

It was like family that died in the Hudson. I can't stop thinking. No, dude, I can't stop thinking about this family that died in the hut.

[Bobby Lee]

I don't know anything about it. So explain it to me. I really don't know anything about it. I've just been watching the Chinese tariff stuff.

[Andrew Santino]

Let me tell you something. No one knows enough about it. That's the scariest part. This helicopter, like, broke in midair. And then the only thing we know is he was. He was high up at Siemens, the tech technology company.

[Bobby Lee]

Oh, no.

[Andrew Santino]

A New York City sightseeing helicopter broke apart and crashed into the Hudson Riffin river near New Jersey shoreline, killing the pilot. And a Spanish family of five were on board. Piece of the aircraft can be found. Blah, blah, blah. How'd it happen? Witnesses described seeing the helicopter's tail and main rotor break away. Smoke pouring from the spinning chopter it slammed in the water. Victims were Austin Escobar. Oh, that's a tough last name to have. His wife, Marie Kombruchy Montal, and the three children, Victor, Mercedes, Augustine, and Kia. An executive at Siemens, was in the New York area on business. I mean, this is insane. You don't find this crazy? You don't think this is. This is conspiratorial?

[Bobby Lee]

It's conspiracy.

[Andrew Santino]

The helicopters just break. Is this a thing that happens lately?

[Bobby Lee]

Are they fishermen?

[Andrew Santino]

Fishermen? What does that mean?

[Bobby Lee]

Like a seaman?

[Andrew Santino]

No, seaman's the. Like the phone company. You know, Siemens. S I E M E Electronics.

[Bobby Lee]

Oh, I didn't know. Maybe it did. Delete that. That was a dumb.

[Andrew Santino]

No, it was actually really good. I. I want that out there.

[Bobby Lee]

That was so dumb.

[Andrew Santino]

No, do that at.

[Bobby Lee]

Was it. Was Aquaman there?

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah, he was.

[Bobby Lee]

Were there dolphins?

[Andrew Santino]

Bobby, is this you here? There's a bunch of people on the Internet saying that this might be you.

[Bobby Lee]

Okay, let's see it.

[Andrew Santino]

Zoom in a little bit more, please.

[Bobby Lee]

Dude, I can't even do that.

[Andrew Santino]

Try.

[Bobby Lee]

I can't do that.

[Andrew Santino]

Yes, you can.

[Bobby Lee]

No, I can't do it like that. All right, so what do I do?

[Andrew Santino]

Start it again so he can see it. That chick's ripping, by the way.

[Carlos]

Yeah, dude, so many people thought it was you.

[Andrew Santino]

So 5000 likes. Anybody else think this was Bobby Lee? I mean, it's 100% you. That's 100%.

[Bobby Lee]

And the fucking. You know what? Enough of the fucking Korean deer This shit. I get tagged. Anyone that looks Asian, I go get.

[Andrew Santino]

I get the same thing for redhead. I get the same thing if they're acting.

[Bobby Lee]

And also. Can I just say another. All right, stop. Can I just say another thing, my friend? All right, stop yelling out down syndrome out of your car.

[Andrew Santino]

Why?

[Bobby Lee]

I'm walking down the street, people just yell at down syndrome, and I don't even. And then there's people around me and looking at me like, as if I have it.

[Andrew Santino]

You. I get Bobby's mom. All day long.

[Bobby Lee]

You do right by and yell it out, right?

[Andrew Santino]

All day long.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah. It's like. It's. It doesn't stop. Yeah.

[Andrew Santino]

I mean, I sat next to our good buddy David Chang on the way back home, by the way.

[Bobby Lee]

Oh, hello.

[Andrew Santino]

You love Dave Chang.

[Bobby Lee]

I love him so much.

[Andrew Santino]

He's the best. You know, he's. He's in. He tore his rotator cuff.

[Bobby Lee]

Is that a.

[Andrew Santino]

He's in, like, an arm. He's in, like, an arm sling.

[Bobby Lee]

That was cooking equipment. I'm really off today.

[Andrew Santino]

Or maybe it was his labrum, something. Whatever it was, he tore some. He's in an arm sling.

[Bobby Lee]

Wow. Okay. Is he dying?

[Andrew Santino]

He. Honestly. He's on his way out. No, I'm saying you should wish him well. Be like, I heard about your.

[Bobby Lee]

Dave. Wish you well. I'm sorry about your. Today.

[Andrew Santino]

Why don't you text him? Shoot him a text.

[Bobby Lee]

What? Really?

[Andrew Santino]

Brag, brag. Be like, hey, sorry about your arm. I'm. I got invited to the White House.

[Bobby Lee]

Okay.

[Andrew Santino]

Have you been to the White House? Say that. What an invite.

[Bobby Lee]

I don't think I have his number.

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah, you do.

[Bobby Lee]

David Chang. Yeah. There we go. I'm gonna say. What do I say? You compose it for me.

[Andrew Santino]

I heard you. I heard.

[Bobby Lee]

I heard. I heard.

[Andrew Santino]

I heard about the injury.

[Bobby Lee]

I just. I heard.

[Andrew Santino]

I heard.

[Bobby Lee]

That's it. Send.

[Andrew Santino]

Get well.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah. Get well. Get well soon.

[Andrew Santino]

P. S. Yeah. Got invited to the White House?

[Bobby Lee]

No.

[Andrew Santino]

Why?

[Bobby Lee]

Okay. Because if it's wrong, I feel like they're trolling me. These people are trolling me.

[Andrew Santino]

Who? These guys?

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah.

[Carlos]

What about the White House?

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah.

[Andrew Santino]

Where did the email come from?

[Carlos]

The first one, Matt.

[Andrew Santino]

That's. What did Abby say? Oh, Abby's on this email.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah, I know.

[Andrew Santino]

I got the email from your assistant. Oh, look what it says. Sunday night got back to them. Thank you so much for it.

[Carlos]

On Ian Andreas, the White House press secretary.

[Andrew Santino]

Oh, my God, look at this. Bob.

[Bobby Lee]

What?

[Andrew Santino]

Caroline Levitt, press White House press secretary. Oh, this is the original email.

[Bobby Lee]

Wait, Caroline Levitt.

[Andrew Santino]

That's what it says.

[Carlos]

That's who reaches out.

[Bobby Lee]

You know who that is, right? Yeah.

[Carlos]

The press secretary.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah. Wow.

[Andrew Santino]

On behalf of them.

[Bobby Lee]

Nothing from you.

[Andrew Santino]

I'm reaching out. I'm a little fucking annoyed. I want to go.

[Bobby Lee]

Well, every year, I mean, you know, Barack invited me, Biden invited me. You know, it's just my. It's. Every president invites me, you know, so it's just my thing.

[Andrew Santino]

Cool.

[Bobby Lee]

But I'm a man of the world and you're not. You're like America, you know? Yeah.

[Andrew Santino]

You're going to the White House. America.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah. I also seen other places.

[Andrew Santino]

Where?

[Bobby Lee]

Macon.

[Andrew Santino]

The guy right back there.

[Bobby Lee]

No, the Paris guy. Macan.

[Andrew Santino]

Macron.

[Bobby Lee]

Macron. Macaroon. Macaroon. It's delicious.

[Andrew Santino]

Have you met croissant?

[Bobby Lee]

I have. I have. No, Do I. You know, Come on. I would never go to anywhere like that.

[Andrew Santino]

This might end the show, actually, without you. No, this might. This actually might end the show.

[Bobby Lee]

Why?

[Andrew Santino]

Because it's this. You're.

[Bobby Lee]

Without you, I don't go.

[Andrew Santino]

You're obviously a superstar. You've left me in the dust. You're doing. Cone is nodding. And that's true. You've left me in the dust. You're doing your own thing. It's fine.

[Bobby Lee]

You're an I.

[Andrew Santino]

You mentioned Theo.

[Bobby Lee]

You're in my.

[Andrew Santino]

You mentioned Theo right away. The first thing you said was because of Theo. Your. Your best buddy, your closest confident.

[Bobby Lee]

You're in. Why can't you see me? Part eight with the magic.

[Andrew Santino]

That'd be good. Maybe they'll give me a shitty trophy.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah. Yeah. Oh, is this what we're gonna do? Right?

[Andrew Santino]

It'll actually be a good movie.

[Bobby Lee]

Did you get one for house Party?

[Andrew Santino]

I gotta call my agent.

[Bobby Lee]

Anyway.

[Andrew Santino]

God. Weren't a lot of bad movies, eh?

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah.

[Andrew Santino]

You know, we're dead.

[Bobby Lee]

Oh, we're dead in the.

[Andrew Santino]

We're dead in the business.

[Bobby Lee]

We're 100. Do you ever think that?

[Andrew Santino]

All the time. Are you kidding me?

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah, I like, we are so dead in the business. But we created our own thing.

[Andrew Santino]

Create our own show.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah. Yeah. But we are dead in Hollywood.

[Andrew Santino]

And our animated show, we just did an animatic for. And it's gonna come out. They gave us the news. It's gonna come out in 2028. That's a while right around the corner.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah.

[Andrew Santino]

It's actually no joke. It's 2027. That's literally when the show is gonna come out. When they said that almost was like, I can't even believe that's A thing.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah, but you know what?

[Andrew Santino]

That's a thing.

[Bobby Lee]

It's an opportunity.

[Andrew Santino]

I'm happy.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah.

[Andrew Santino]

I'm happy we're going to be able to do it.

[Bobby Lee]

But guess what, guy? I've been thinking. I've been going to therapy, and I've been thinking a lot about it, a lot about it, and I'm on. If. If I look at my phone, what does it say?

[Andrew Santino]

This is it.

[Bobby Lee]

This is it.

[Carlos]

Strokes.

[Bobby Lee]

That. Yeah. That's a good album.

[Andrew Santino]

It's a great album.

[Bobby Lee]

I know, but this is you and me together, sitting here with our pals.

[Andrew Santino]

Oh, I know what happened.

[Bobby Lee]

What?

[Andrew Santino]

You, like, saw one of those David Foster Wallace things, and now you're fucking hung on like, this is water. I know what's going on. Everybody goes through this. You're having, like, a David Foster Wallace moment where you're like. Two fish are swimming in the ocean and one is like, what's water? It's like you're in it, man.

[Bobby Lee]

You have to be one with water.

[Andrew Santino]

Now you're Bruce Lee.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah, Bruce Lee. Dude.

[Andrew Santino]

Dude.

[Bobby Lee]

Want to control between.

[Andrew Santino]

Do you know what I'm referring. David Foster Wallace, like, every college kid reads this book.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah.

[Andrew Santino]

It's actually beautiful.

[Bobby Lee]

Well, tell me some of the concepts.

[Andrew Santino]

And I'll agree with Infinite Jest, but there's a. There's a. Look up, David Foster Wallace. This is water. Look up. This is water. It's actually beautiful. Okay, but you're on this kick, and I really. I shouldn't on it. I love you, but it's incredible. This is Water is amazing.

[Bobby Lee]

Okay. Have you read it?

[Andrew Santino]

I have. Infinite Jest. Pretty. Pretty amazing. This is water.

[Bobby Lee]

Give me. Just give me the gist of the book.

[Andrew Santino]

The idea is this. Yeah. Oh, this is it. There it is. There are these two young fish swimming along. They happen to meet an older fish swimming the other way.

[Bobby Lee]

Wait, wait, hold on.

[Andrew Santino]

Okay.

[Bobby Lee]

No, no. I just.

[Andrew Santino]

There are two young officials. That's not what I'm saying. I don't know.

[Bobby Lee]

Okay, I got a visualize. So close your eyes.

[Andrew Santino]

Close your eyes.

[Bobby Lee]

There's two fish and there's a bit older fish.

[Andrew Santino]

Two young fish swimming along.

[Bobby Lee]

Does it matter what kind?

[Andrew Santino]

Or one. One is a carp and the other one is a.

[Bobby Lee]

What are those Nemo ones or whatever?

[Andrew Santino]

Goldfish.

[Bobby Lee]

No, the one with the clownfish.

[Andrew Santino]

Clownfish.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Two clownfish. Baby. Baby ones.

[Andrew Santino]

Two baby clownfish are swimming along.

[Bobby Lee]

A great white's going.

[Andrew Santino]

They happen to meet. A great.

[Bobby Lee]

Great white's going the other way.

[Andrew Santino]

Going the other way.

[Bobby Lee]

Okay.

[Andrew Santino]

Who nods at them and says, morning, boys. How's the water?

[Bobby Lee]

That's not what he sounds like. It's a great white.

[Andrew Santino]

Morning, boys.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah, that's what it. How's the water exactly?

[Andrew Santino]

And the two young fish, the two young clownfish, they swim for a bit and eventually one of them looks at the other one and goes, what the hell is water in this moment? You're worried. I plan to present myself as the wise old fish explaining what water is to young fish. Please don't be. I'm not the old wise fish. The immediate point of the fish story is that the most obvious, ubiquitous, important realities are often the ones that we are hardest to see and talk about. What it is, is. We're not taking stuff for granted. What it says on your phone is what this is.

[Bobby Lee]

What? I don't get the analogy. I swear to God, I don't. You know, I'm not good with riddles either, so I don't know.

[Andrew Santino]

This is it. This is water. You're lit. We're. When someone. You'll look back in 20 years, 10 maybe. I don't know how long you're going to make it, but tw.

[Bobby Lee]

You know. And you know what? That.

[Andrew Santino]

That right there is when I go to the White House, you're going to feel bad about. I knew it. I knew it.

[Bobby Lee]

You're a piece of. You won't be dead in 10 years.

[Andrew Santino]

Thank you. Anyway, with you and me, two young fish are swimming along in the ocean, one takes a giant shit, and a beautiful female fish comes by.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah.

[Andrew Santino]

What the. Is wrong with you guys?

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah.

[Andrew Santino]

All right, listen.

[Bobby Lee]

Okay, you're.

[Andrew Santino]

This is it.

[Bobby Lee]

This is it.

[Andrew Santino]

I'm being in. In all genuine respect because I love you and I respect you because a.

[Bobby Lee]

Lot of times you go. You go.

[Andrew Santino]

You're in the moment. You're living.

[Bobby Lee]

A lot of times you go, oh, well, we're doing the school. It comes down to when that happens. It's going to be great.

[Andrew Santino]

And. Right. You have to live in it now. Yeah.

[Bobby Lee]

I mean, when I meet the one that. When that happens, it's like, this is it.

[Andrew Santino]

This is it.

[Bobby Lee]

I mean, we're. I'm living life now. We're the leads of our movie.

[Andrew Santino]

This is water.

[Bobby Lee]

This is water.

[Andrew Santino]

This is water. Yeah, this is water.

[Bobby Lee]

You have to be one with. You know.

[Andrew Santino]

Okay, I get it, but this is water.

[Bobby Lee]

Dead on. Bruce Le.

[Andrew Santino]

Do it again.

[Bobby Lee]

Then this. You have to be one with water.

[Andrew Santino]

What do you got, peanut butter in your mouth? What are you doing?

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah, he loved peanut butter and Jelly sandwiches. That's what killed him. That.

[Andrew Santino]

Is that true?

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Andrew Santino]

Bruce Lee died from ppj.

[Bobby Lee]

I don't know. I don't know. But.

[Andrew Santino]

But I'm happy that you're on this new kick. What made you do this? Therapy got you to this? This is. This is it. Yes. Bruce Lee incorporated peanut butter into his diet, particularly as a component of protein.

[Bobby Lee]

I didn't have to look it up.

[Andrew Santino]

Bruce Lee was highly against jelly, however.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah.

[Andrew Santino]

Interesting.

[Bobby Lee]

Okay. Doesn't say that on there, but my point is this. Okay.

[Andrew Santino]

Well, you know, Bobby, you look a lot like Bruce Lee. I wanted to tell you, you know.

[Bobby Lee]

That'S what he's gonna say.

[Andrew Santino]

100.

[Bobby Lee]

Oh, my God.

[Andrew Santino]

My son Baron said you. You're a wonderful, funny guy. I think you're a very funny guy. I love Mad tv. I love mad. I love Mad tv. What I don't like about Mad TV is. Yeah, they had a lot of dei.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah.

[Andrew Santino]

I didn't like the dei, but could.

[Bobby Lee]

I say that I voted for Kamala or. No. What?

[Carlos]

That's rude.

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah, you can.

[Bobby Lee]

But then would I get kicked out?

[Andrew Santino]

No. He'd go. And I won. Didn't I won.

[Bobby Lee]

I go. Yes, sir. You. Good job.

[Andrew Santino]

You have to bow.

[Bobby Lee]

I would do it. I would be a.

[Andrew Santino]

You would. 100.

[Bobby Lee]

I would tremble. I would shake. Yeah. Yeah.

[Andrew Santino]

Your Excellency.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah. Ye. No, but this is water.

[Andrew Santino]

I'm glad you're going through this in therapy.

[Bobby Lee]

Well, it's because I, you know, went through some depression, and then I was like, I got to get out of this, and then just go back to my techniques of, you know, being grounded and in reality, because a lot of things you read on the Internet or the things that occur in your mind aren't real.

[Andrew Santino]

That's incredible, though.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah.

[Andrew Santino]

You do feel this way, that you're getting to a place where you're accepting. I feel great. You feel really good.

[Bobby Lee]

I feel so good.

[Andrew Santino]

And I appreciate that.

[Bobby Lee]

I thank you.

[Andrew Santino]

I thank you more. I'd like you. I'd like you to take me to the White House.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah. Yeah. You will listen. Yeah. When Pete Buttigieg is president, which will never happen. So you'll go then. My point is, is this all right? I want to tell people, Bad Friends fans, this. All right? There would be no. I don't even know how to speak. There would be no Bad Friends if it wasn't for Andrew, because I'm so lazy and aloof. Right. So he organizes everything. And this machine. He's the captain of the ship.

[Andrew Santino]

You mean you are Take me to dinner. That's all I want to. Just take me to dinner all the time. All right. Thank you for saying anyway. It's very nice.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah. Stop this.

[Andrew Santino]

And can I tell you something right now?

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah.

[Andrew Santino]

Speaking of bad friends fans, what are you doing? You're reading texts from your agents and stuff?

[Bobby Lee]

What do they want to look?

[Andrew Santino]

What do they say?

[Bobby Lee]

No, it's from the somebody. Let's move on.

[Andrew Santino]

Is it from a friend?

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah.

[Andrew Santino]

What did they say?

[Bobby Lee]

What? Plans about plans? Yeah.

[Andrew Santino]

Oh, no, no, no. I'm excited to go to London and Dublin. I'm actually so excited to go do these shows. I miss doing shows. Bad friend shows.

[Bobby Lee]

But it's also. Why can't we stay in these towns for longer? I mean, you're so back to back.

[Andrew Santino]

We are.

[Bobby Lee]

We got to go earlier then.

[Andrew Santino]

No, no, what's going to happen is, yeah, we'll go early to London, and then when we go to Dublin the next day, we can stay in Dublin a little while also.

[Bobby Lee]

We'll go three days in London.

[Andrew Santino]

Sure.

[Bobby Lee]

Then do the show and then go to Ireland. And then spend the next three days in Ireland.

[Andrew Santino]

Sure.

[Bobby Lee]

Because I want to see your shamrocks and all that stuff, you know? I mean, all the things that you.

[Andrew Santino]

Want to see where I grew up.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah, yeah.

[Andrew Santino]

Out on the Valley.

[Bobby Lee]

Well, because, you know, redheads have to come from Ireland.

[Andrew Santino]

No, we're more.

[Bobby Lee]

That's where your people come from.

[Andrew Santino]

There's more Scots and. Scots and English that are Irish than. Than.

[Bobby Lee]

But you're Italian. How does the redhead friend.

[Andrew Santino]

Well, when two people love each other very much.

[Bobby Lee]

Tell me.

[Andrew Santino]

And they come from two different places. My mother's Irish, My dad's Italian. How. That's not hard math.

[Bobby Lee]

Oh, so you have.

[Andrew Santino]

Your mom is Korean and your dad is. Sorry. Your dad is Korean and your mom is.

[Bobby Lee]

That's it. That's.

[Andrew Santino]

Sorry. Yeah, I got it confused.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah. Did you get enough sleep last night?

[Andrew Santino]

It's no sleep.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah, me either.

[Andrew Santino]

I've had no sleep in so long, by the way, on this tour that I was just on, there's like 10, 12 days I was gone. I don't think I got one night of good sleep. And by the way, in Miami. Miami is. It's too much. It's fucking too much. There's every night someone's like, hey, come to this thing. Come to this thing. And I can't say no because I feel like I'm supposed to. It's part of the job. I'm supposed to go out with these people.

[Bobby Lee]

One show. We Never did.

[Andrew Santino]

Miami.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah.

[Andrew Santino]

No. Didn't we pay Fort Lauderdale? Hollywood?

[Bobby Lee]

Oh, we did. We did. We did.

[Andrew Santino]

But that's up north. That's different.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah, yeah.

[Andrew Santino]

Miami beach is. It's just insane.

[Bobby Lee]

You, me, Logan. We could have a good time there.

[Andrew Santino]

Logan. Roy.

[Bobby Lee]

Paul. Oh, yeah. Yeah.

[Carlos]

Jake.

[Bobby Lee]

Jake, Paul. I mean, we had a good time, no?

[Carlos]

Oh, yeah.

[Bobby Lee]

We had a dinner at Nobu.

[Carlos]

Yeah, it was nice.

[Bobby Lee]

It was nice. Yeah.

[Andrew Santino]

They fly you out on a jet?

[Bobby Lee]

No, but first class, right? Yeah. Yeah.

[Andrew Santino]

Yes, I know. You asked him as if he was on the plane with you.

[Carlos]

I was.

[Andrew Santino]

You were.

[Carlos]

I went to Miami with him.

[Andrew Santino]

I didn't know that.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah, he went.

[Andrew Santino]

What did you guys do in Miami?

[Bobby Lee]

We went to Noble.

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah, that's it.

[Bobby Lee]

And he came to this gig with me. He's like my handler.

[Andrew Santino]

What's a gig? You performed?

[Bobby Lee]

No, I did his podcast, but he accessed My Legion.

[Carlos]

Yeah, we hung out, had a couple dinners. It was fun. Yeah, they paid for it.

[Andrew Santino]

Wow.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah. Yeah, you know me, Carlos, hang out.

[Andrew Santino]

No, you don't.

[Bobby Lee]

Have we gone to other places?

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah, it's been here a long time ago.

[Carlos]

Yeah, with Charlie on 3rd Street. The Chinese place.

[Bobby Lee]

Charlie Finn. I love that guy. Yeah.

[Carlos]

Good times, my friend.

[Bobby Lee]

Charlie Fan.

[Andrew Santino]

I like him.

[Bobby Lee]

You know him?

[Andrew Santino]

No, I like his work. I don't know him. I like him. I like his sweet face.

[Bobby Lee]

He's my best friend. He was my best friend before you, 15 years ago. He's my best friend.

[Andrew Santino]

Wow.

[Bobby Lee]

You could switch. You could switch bad friends. I mean, best friends. I mean, look at that sitcom.

[Andrew Santino]

I remember that. It's like three guys and a girl in a pizza place or whatever.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah. Hot dog on a stick.

[Andrew Santino]

Oh, hot dog on a stick.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's really good.

[Andrew Santino]

Honestly.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah.

[Andrew Santino]

Why did you lose contact with Charlie Finn?

[Bobby Lee]

He moved.

[Andrew Santino]

You can't call him?

[Bobby Lee]

No, we call. We talked to each other. I'm trying to get him to stand up.

[Andrew Santino]

Wait, he did. He used to do stand up?

[Bobby Lee]

No, he just doesn't know what to do out there.

[Andrew Santino]

Why did he move there?

[Bobby Lee]

I mean, you know, let's be honest for a. During this woke age of acting, white dudes took a second, you know? I mean, there's so many white dudes and they're using more minorities.

[Andrew Santino]

Speak on it, brother.

[Bobby Lee]

You know what I mean?

[Andrew Santino]

This is good White house fodder. This will go far.

[Bobby Lee]

No, I'm just his point of view. I'm not my point of view. I'm glad he's out. Get out of here, Charles. But you know that's what happened. Well, he missed me. He called me. Who did Matt call?

[Andrew Santino]

Him.

[Bobby Lee]

Okay.

[Andrew Santino]

By the way, Cubs. Cubs Took two out of three from the Dodgers. I was at the game last night, 16 to nothing.

[Bobby Lee]

So. Hey, Bobby, you're on bad friends. You don't have to answer much, okay?

[Andrew Santino]

What's that?

[Bobby Lee]

You're on bad friends. You don't have to answer much. You don't have to talk that much. I'm just gonna ask you a question, okay? Is that email real from the White House? Select Quote oh my God.

[Andrew Santino]

So many things in life we just never get around to. Ok? Starting that hobby, cleaning out the garage. You know, the little things that don't really make huge differences in our lives yet. There's one thing that most of us has probably been neglecting that has a huge impact on our family's future.

[Bobby Lee]

It's life insurance. And it's sad to say we're all going to go.

[Andrew Santino]

We're all going to go. We are.

[Bobby Lee]

And with Select Quote, getting covered with the right policy for you is easier and more affordable than you might think.

[Andrew Santino]

Look, if you have high blood pressure like me and Bob, no problem. You have diabetes like Bob, that's fine too. Even if you have heart disease, like me and Bobby, Select Quote partners with carriers.

[Bobby Lee]

I have flat feet. I do.

[Andrew Santino]

Even if you have heart disease and flat feet, Select Quote partners with carriers that can cover those conditions and others. Look, we all have weird health issues, okay? Literally all of us. You know, I've got my rump a pump heart. Weirdo stuff.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah.

[Andrew Santino]

This guy's been on Ozempic for what feels like a full year now.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah, I lost two pounds.

[Andrew Santino]

If you don't have major health issues at all, they'll work with carriers that can get you the same day coverage with no medical exam required. So head over to select quote.com and a licensed insurance agent will call you right away with the right policy for your life and your budget.

[Bobby Lee]

Get the right life insurance for you for less and selectquote.com bad friends.

[Andrew Santino]

Go to selectquote.com badfriends today to get started. That's selectquote.com badfriends hello.

[Bobby Lee]

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[Andrew Santino]

Fresh air is out there, baby. Spring has sprung and I am sprung up.

[Bobby Lee]

I love when you get spring.

[Andrew Santino]

I get sprung yeah, yeah. I get sprung. It's a new year in Hellofresh. Every single meal has high quality ingredients, including seasonal fresh produce proteins that travel from the farm to your doorstep. I love hellofresh. I've been using them for a very long time. Even before that we. We had them on our show because it's simple, easy, fresh, healthy and good.

[Bobby Lee]

By the way, it's very ready made meals.

[Andrew Santino]

All right. You don't got to do anything, man. You just give it a go and make it hot.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah. And also they have flexible deliveries that you can pause or skip when you need.

[Andrew Santino]

Right. It's a. It's flexible and convenient, just like Bobby Lee. Flexible and convenient. Feel great with meals that fit your spring schedule and make the season even more delicious. Go to hellofresh.combadfriends10fm now to get 10 free meals with a free item for life.

[Bobby Lee]

One per box with active subscription free meals applied as discount on first box. New subscribers only. Varies by plan.

[Andrew Santino]

That's right.

[Bobby Lee]

This episode is brought to you by Selectquote. Life insurance can have a huge impact on our family's future. With Selectquote, getting covered with the right policy for you is simple and affordable. Selectquote's licensed insurance agents will tailor your experience to find a life insurance policy for your needs in as little as 15 minutes. And selectquote partners with carriers that provide policies for many conditions. Select quote. They shop, you save. Go to selectquote.com Spotify pod today to get started, I got called to the White House to have dinner with Donald Trump. I don't know about it.

[Andrew Santino]

We're on bad friends. I don't know.

[Bobby Lee]

I'll find out. Okay, but if. If they're. If these guys are playing a trick on me, dude, I'm gonna fire them.

[Andrew Santino]

Who?

[Bobby Lee]

These pieces of. Anyway, find out if it's real.

[Andrew Santino]

Love you.

[Bobby Lee]

Bye. Bye.

[Andrew Santino]

Honestly, one of the best agents in the business.

[Bobby Lee]

Carlos, come here.

[Carlos]

No, I'm hiding.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah, because it's not real, right? Come here. No, listen to me right now. Dude, what I'm saying to you is, is that it's like the donut thing. I don't like when I'm being tricked.

[Carlos]

Yeah, and then I brought you donuts the next episode.

[Bobby Lee]

I know, but am I being tricked now?

[Carlos]

No. It happened all this weekend.

[Bobby Lee]

How does my agent not know about it?

[Carlos]

He does. It's just a lot of stuff going on this weekend. He's probably watching the Masters. Abby would know your manager.

[Bobby Lee]

Okay.

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah.

[Bobby Lee]

Well, then we're good. Yeah.

[Carlos]

I promise you all Right, but then.

[Andrew Santino]

Call Abby.

[Carlos]

Or maybe even Theo, because.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah. No, not Theo.

[Andrew Santino]

Dude, he invited you.

[Carlos]

Yeah, you don't.

[Bobby Lee]

Not invited.

[Carlos]

I assume Kid Rock will be there.

[Bobby Lee]

If Abby doesn't pick up right now, I'm gonna lose my mind.

[Carlos]

Why?

[Bobby Lee]

Because it's just like, I'm. Called her three times. She's not picking up. I'm her only client.

[Andrew Santino]

Does she live alone?

[Bobby Lee]

Hello? Hi, Abby. Hi. Is that email or. Correct at real. That the White House one? Which one? I was invited to the White House by Donald Trump.

[Andrew Santino]

Your email or mine? You're on. You're cc'd on.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah, you're cc'd on it.

[Andrew Santino]

Hold on.

[Bobby Lee]

When did you get it?

[Andrew Santino]

When did she check her email?

[Bobby Lee]

When did I get it?

[Carlos]

No, they didn't email you. They emailed us.

[Bobby Lee]

Ca. They emailed ca. And you. You're tagged in it. Is that not real?

[Andrew Santino]

Get me off the podcast.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah, you're on the podcast. Yeah, Yeah, I. I figured that. No, it didn't happen. It didn't happen. Okay. Thank you so much. All right, bye. Hell of a forgery, huh? I'm so mad. You have no idea how mad I am.

[Carlos]

Why?

[Bobby Lee]

I texted that thing to a girl I'm hanging out with.

[Carlos]

So before you did anything, you told all your friends, like, bro, you said that to some.

[Andrew Santino]

Why did you said that? What did she say? What did she say? Can I.

[Bobby Lee]

She's like, oh, no, it's not real. I was tricked by my employees.

[Carlos]

Say employees.

[Andrew Santino]

That's such a funny text message you get. Not real. I was tricked by my employees. You think, Bezos. Ghost rights. That ever. It's not real. Attention Amazon workers. It's not real. You guys are evil little demons. Dude. Who came up with that? Carlos, dude. He took the credit. Who forged it? You did. Did you guys have anything to do with it?

[Bobby Lee]

Nothing.

[Andrew Santino]

No way.

[Bobby Lee]

You. You want to play these games? It's. It's war.

[Carlos]

No, there's no war.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah, it's. It's. It's war for all three of you. Listen to me, okay? Bob, please. No, I'm being real.

[Carlos]

I'm being real.

[Bobby Lee]

It's war. How the donuts is one thing. You made me look like a fool in front of this person I'm seeing, right? And she's like, you just met her.

[Carlos]

You went on one date. Also you're not seeing her.

[Andrew Santino]

It's a good joke. She probably thinks it's funny.

[Carlos]

Yeah, you're welcome.

[Andrew Santino]

You think she thinks that's fucked up? That's funny.

[Bobby Lee]

Okay, well, I think it's fucked up. I don't like being tricked and bamboozled. I think that's the right word.

[Andrew Santino]

He's never done anything like this before.

[Bobby Lee]

So there's some bamboo. Bamboozling coming your way. But this is Korean style, right? So it's a little harsher. Right? And it's. There's some implications and it's gonna get.

[Carlos]

What do you mean?

[Bobby Lee]

Career implications? I mean, and there's a lot of like. You think that I'm good. I don't respond to your text now. What do you think is gonna happen now? Chachi100 this. Dude, she texted me again. Let me see what she said. The movie you wrote.

[Andrew Santino]

What did she say?

[Bobby Lee]

She laughed.

[Andrew Santino]

Ah, see, I got you a laugh.

[Carlos]

The movie that you wrote with Benji.

[Bobby Lee]

Never gonna do it.

[Carlos]

You know what? Can I tell people you're attached?

[Bobby Lee]

No, I'm never gonna do it. I promise. Like his zombie movie, right? I'm never doing both of those things now, right?

[Carlos]

He had nothing to do with it.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah, yeah. And McCone, you gibbering little goof face. All right, you. I know things too, man.

[Andrew Santino]

Get him, dude.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah, but I'm not gonna say. Okay, can.

[Andrew Santino]

Can I be honest with you?

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah. It's not you. You're my best friend.

[Andrew Santino]

Well, no, I'm not a part of. But honestly. Yeah, it's kind of funny.

[Bobby Lee]

It's very funny. Yeah, it's pretty good. No, it's good. It was really good. But you know what? I like. I like to cause laughter too.

[Carlos]

Yeah, you have.

[Bobby Lee]

And I like to. I like to spread joy too. So I'm gonna spread some joy your way on your expense.

[Andrew Santino]

Have they ever. Have they. Has he ever deceived you before?

[Bobby Lee]

Yes, all the time.

[Andrew Santino]

Beyond the donuts.

[Bobby Lee]

Oh. Oh, yeah, the water.

[Andrew Santino]

What water?

[Bobby Lee]

From. From Aran water.

[Andrew Santino]

The Erwan Sink.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah, yeah, I remember all those things.

[Andrew Santino]

That was a good bit.

[Bobby Lee]

And they're little. Little, little stab wounds in my heart.

[Andrew Santino]

What's another one they got?

[Bobby Lee]

I don't remember. There's been so many.

[Carlos]

They're not stab wounds kisses.

[Bobby Lee]

They're not kisses. Yeah, and me not doing your movie is a kiss. All right, fine.

[Carlos]

I'll just.

[Bobby Lee]

Zombie movie, any other comic kiss. What? Get. Get off. Okay.

[Andrew Santino]

Carlos, what up?

[Bobby Lee]

I know. You know what? I'm acting foolish.

[Carlos]

Oh, so you will do it?

[Bobby Lee]

No, I don't going to do that. I have to read it first. But that was a really. No, honestly, dude. You're right. You know, honestly, dude, that was really good.

[Carlos]

Thanks, Bob.

[Bobby Lee]

And you know, I. I'm really going to laugh about it later, I'll tell you that.

[Carlos]

This is so threatening.

[Bobby Lee]

It's not.

[Carlos]

It's Korean threatening, like staring.

[Bobby Lee]

I enjoy it, you know, It's. Wow.

[Carlos]

But if you retaliate, I'll just hit back like, whoa.

[Bobby Lee]

So it's like you said there was. We're in a tariff war now. No, you said that's what. You hit me back. I hit you back. You started the war.

[Carlos]

You'll see, Right.

[Bobby Lee]

If he starts. Let me ask you about war. I don't know much about war.

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah.

[Bobby Lee]

All right. You're a general. Yeah, you're right. Hey, boss.

[Andrew Santino]

What do you want? Chang?

[Bobby Lee]

No. Philip Williams. Philip Williams in this scenario. Right, right, right, right, right.

[Andrew Santino]

Yes. Philly.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah. Philip.

[Andrew Santino]

Sure.

[Bobby Lee]

Okay. Anyway, Guy. Oh, my God. Belarus just shot a rocket at San Francisco.

[Andrew Santino]

Belarus.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah.

[Andrew Santino]

Belarus the country.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah.

[Andrew Santino]

Good. We got to get rid of that. Anyway, so what do we do? No, they bombed San Francisco. Yeah, that's fine with me.

[Bobby Lee]

Oh, I'm San Francisco now. That's what I am.

[Carlos]

Oh, yeah.

[Bobby Lee]

You know, I love San Francisco.

[Andrew Santino]

On your tombstone, Bobby Lee, I'm San Francisco.

[Bobby Lee]

Dude, that letter looks so good.

[Andrew Santino]

It's.

[Bobby Lee]

It's so great. Yeah. What a wonderful thing. Wow.

[Andrew Santino]

But what Bill Trick. Bill Maher ate at the White House. That's real.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah. And he said. No, it was. What he got flack for is he was super a nice guy.

[Andrew Santino]

Who was? Bill Maher.

[Bobby Lee]

The Donald Trump was.

[Andrew Santino]

Oh, he was saying he was a nice guy.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah. He was like, he's not what you think he is. When he's on. You know what I mean, Camera, you know, on the side. He's like just a regular guy.

[Andrew Santino]

I'm sure. Yeah, I'm sure. Just like everybody you meet.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah. Like, hey, man, pull my finger. You know, all that kind of stuff.

[Andrew Santino]

You do and pull my finger stuff.

[Bobby Lee]

I don't know.

[Andrew Santino]

He. Whoopee cushion. Somebody in the White House.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. You know, I think you just destroyed this for this date that I. Dude, destroyed it. Yeah. It makes me. I'm the blind following the blind toward a cliff. We all fall.

[Andrew Santino]

Do you have a date with this person coming up again?

[Bobby Lee]

Probably done now.

[Andrew Santino]

No.

[Bobby Lee]

Because I'm a loser.

[Andrew Santino]

No chance.

[Bobby Lee]

Thanks, guy.

[Andrew Santino]

How many times you've gone out with her?

[Bobby Lee]

I can't believe I fell for it. That's what make. That's the word. The shame. I was like. I felt like. And then slamming you like you didn't get invited. That was foolish of me.

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah, it was.

[Bobby Lee]

Wow. Yeah. You would definitely get invited before me.

[Andrew Santino]

No.

[Bobby Lee]

And then the next time I'll know.

[Andrew Santino]

No. But what is interesting, the way you reacted. It was very. It was a good test.

[Bobby Lee]

What was the test like? What was I like?

[Carlos]

Gloating.

[Andrew Santino]

Gloaty. Yeah. Very self indulgent.

[Bobby Lee]

Really?

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah. Well, because I was like, man, I want to go. And you're like, you don't get invited. Stuff like this. I'm more cultured. I'm more worldly. Yeah. You brought up Theo pretty quick. Yeah. Brought up Theo very quick. And that's fine. Dude. Dude, that's fine.

[Bobby Lee]

This is the worst time I've ever had on bad Friends. I look like a fool. Yeah. Yeah.

[Andrew Santino]

You don't look.

[Bobby Lee]

You know what? I want to apologize.

[Andrew Santino]

Look like a fool.

[Bobby Lee]

I want to apologize to everyone listening. Okay. I did believe it was true. I did gloat. I made myself a fool. Right? And I'm blushing right now. You can't tell because when you. Yellow, it hits. Red stays yellow, and yellow mixes with red. Yeah, I'm blushing.

[Andrew Santino]

Isn't that purple? Okay, show them your penis.

[Bobby Lee]

That's exactly what it is. And I want to say that I really bought it.

[Andrew Santino]

Yellow and red is brown.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah. That's why my face is brown.

[Andrew Santino]

Is that the. That's those spots you have.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah.

[Andrew Santino]

When you mix red and yellow, you get the color orange. You get me?

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah, man.

[Andrew Santino]

We are really like us. We are really like.

[Bobby Lee]

We're tied together. Yeah.

[Andrew Santino]

Tied deep.

[Bobby Lee]

But very nice.

[Carlos]

Thanks.

[Andrew Santino]

Thank you.

[Bobby Lee]

Very, very nice.

[Carlos]

I feel like you're, like, on the edge of mania right now.

[Andrew Santino]

He is.

[Bobby Lee]

Oh, no, I'm not.

[Andrew Santino]

Oh, my God. That would answer like, a cereal.

[Bobby Lee]

Oh, no, dude, I'm growing.

[Andrew Santino]

No.

[Bobby Lee]

Oh, yeah. This is it.

[Carlos]

This would be a good opportunity.

[Bobby Lee]

This is it, dude.

[Andrew Santino]

You mean this is the beginning?

[Bobby Lee]

This is the beginning of the end, right? Yeah, yeah. But in a good way.

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah.

[Carlos]

This is a great time to grow right now in this moment.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah, I am. So. Yeah. I'll do your movie.

[Andrew Santino]

Oh, yeah.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah. I'll do your movie for sure.

[Carlos]

Oh, yeah.

[Bobby Lee]

And Andreas, I'm gonna do your movie. Thank you. I mean, hey, call me or.

[Andrew Santino]

What is this?

[Carlos]

I just saw this online. I sent it to y'all, but y'all didn't respond.

[Andrew Santino]

Oh, my God. Look.

[Bobby Lee]

Okay. Wow. Well, that's. That's cool.

[Andrew Santino]

She had to hold her breath.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah, right there.

[Andrew Santino]

They, like, disconnected her life so she could. Jesus, that's terrible, Carlos. That's awful.

[Bobby Lee]

That's awful, dude. I. I don't think that's the right One.

[Andrew Santino]

You find some really dark in that thing.

[Bobby Lee]

Give me another. Yeah, give me another one.

[Carlos]

Oh, you could put your finger in it.

[Andrew Santino]

Oh, God.

[Bobby Lee]

Dude, dude, your mind right now.

[Andrew Santino]

Dude, you're gross.

[Bobby Lee]

You're gross.

[Carlos]

Dude, you could put your finger in her neck.

[Andrew Santino]

That's insane. That is an insane video.

[Carlos]

All right, let's see what else.

[Andrew Santino]

Can I say something real fast about this before we move on? Look, I'm not laughing at this. This young lady. This is not. This is not a comedy video. It's not funny.

[Bobby Lee]

It's not funny.

[Andrew Santino]

No, it's not funny. And let me say something. Let me say something else. Conversely.

[Bobby Lee]

No.

[Andrew Santino]

Why are they putting that on the Internet? If you want to share that with your family and friends, that's fine.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah.

[Andrew Santino]

This is a private moment.

[Bobby Lee]

If I had a baby like that, no one would even know.

[Andrew Santino]

Stop it.

[Bobby Lee]

No, because of privacy, right?

[Andrew Santino]

Privacy?

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah.

[Carlos]

Would you do, like, a magazine spread, like in People or something?

[Bobby Lee]

No, no, no, no. She would just be in the attic.

[Andrew Santino]

If this guy married somebody famous, you know, he'd be the first one to get a People deal.

[Carlos]

Oh, yeah.

[Andrew Santino]

100 who? You.

[Bobby Lee]

Really?

[Andrew Santino]

If you married a famous girl or a model that you wanted, you would 100 sell it to so everyone would see it. See this baby, See your marriage in your wedding. You know, People sell weddings to People magazine. You would do that. 100 if, like this. This person that you're seeing now.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah, you would.

[Andrew Santino]

100. You would tell the press.

[Bobby Lee]

No one. I'm going to keep it private.

[Andrew Santino]

Anyway, we'll put her Instagram link right below here. Click here to see her.

[Bobby Lee]

Shut up, dude.

[Andrew Santino]

Of course not. That's insane.

[Bobby Lee]

Okay. I don't like that video. Okay, who's that?

[Andrew Santino]

Shout out to Rory McElroy for winning Masters. I did think Justin Rose was going to come back and win it, but he.

[Bobby Lee]

Irish.

[Andrew Santino]

Northern Irish, though. Different side. That's upstairs, dude. We're down downstairs, people.

[Bobby Lee]

Also, congratulations on Arsenal FC for beating Real Madrid in the first leg of the Champions League.

[Andrew Santino]

That's huge.

[Bobby Lee]

We won. 3, 0. Declan rice, two free to kicks. Oh, my God, they were beautiful.

[Andrew Santino]

Two free kicks.

[Bobby Lee]

He's never. Dude, this dude, Declan Rice, we bought him for a hundred million dollars from West Ham.

[Carlos]

Bottom.

[Bobby Lee]

The team bought him. I didn't buy. You know, and so he is an.

[Andrew Santino]

Interesting way to talk about.

[Bobby Lee]

He's never made a free kick in his life. He makes two free kicks in one game in a Champions League match against Real Madrid.

[Andrew Santino]

Think about the amount of head that guy's going to get.

[Bobby Lee]

It was also at home. So the Emirates went crazy. I mean, it was like. Commentators were like. I mean, it was mind blowing. They were perfect. The curvature, you're not gonna look it up.

[Andrew Santino]

What turned. What turned this guy into such a magician in the. In this. In such an important.

[Bobby Lee]

Well, he's a really good player. He's a very good defensive midfielder. He attacks, too. But I mean, the. Those tooth. I don't know what it is. It's just like.

[Andrew Santino]

Say his name again.

[Bobby Lee]

Declan Rice.

[Andrew Santino]

Declan Rice.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah. And yeah, see, he's on the COVID of it, of the highlights. And so Bukayo Saka turns to him and goes. He's like, what do I do? And he goes. But Kaya goes, if you feel it, just kick it. Because they wanted him to cross the ball in. And he just felt it. And I'm telling you, dude, it was beautiful. You have to understand, Real Madrid, every person on that team is an all star. It's like the, you know, Olympic basketball American team.

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah.

[Bobby Lee]

You know what I mean? It's like. That's what Real Madrid is.

[Andrew Santino]

Wow.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah. It was unbelievable. And I mean, it was probably boring, what I just said.

[Andrew Santino]

He's a good looking guy, this kid, huh?

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah. And here's another thing. Stop shaming his girlfriend.

[Andrew Santino]

What about what's wrong with her?

[Bobby Lee]

People are like, you could do better. But it's like their childhood boyfriend, girlfriend, who cares?

[Andrew Santino]

What's wrong with her?

[Bobby Lee]

Why are you laughing?

[Andrew Santino]

I don't understand.

[Carlos]

Because I know why you brought that up.

[Bobby Lee]

Why?

[Carlos]

Because you want us to shame his girlfriend.

[Bobby Lee]

No, no, that's. Oh, my.

[Andrew Santino]

Let me see. Go through some photos. She looks. What's the. What's the issue?

[Carlos]

Yeah, Bob, what's the issue?

[Bobby Lee]

No, I love her. I would. I would date her.

[Andrew Santino]

What's the issue, Bob?

[Bobby Lee]

People shame him going, you could do better. Like, you know, Wags. You know what wags are?

[Andrew Santino]

What is a wag?

[Bobby Lee]

Wags are football girlfriends or girl. Yeah.

[Andrew Santino]

Wives and girlfriends.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah, yeah. And they're. And you know, if you look at.

[Andrew Santino]

Like, she's not high on the wag list.

[Bobby Lee]

No, I would put her high.

[Carlos]

No, you wouldn't.

[Bobby Lee]

Yes, I would. We could hike together. Look at wags. Just what wags are. Look like.

[Andrew Santino]

These are wags.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah, yeah.

[Andrew Santino]

These are the wives and girlfriends of soccer players.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah, yeah. And they're usually, like a certain type hot. No, you know, go to the one like, you know, you know, they're Wags. And then people go. They shame Declan. Declan. You know what, What I love about Declan, He Goes, she's the love of my life. Off.

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah.

[Bobby Lee]

And I love that.

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah.

[Bobby Lee]

You know, I mean, you know, let.

[Andrew Santino]

Me see his girl. Why? I don't understand the big deal here.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah, me either.

[Andrew Santino]

Like if, you know.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah.

[Carlos]

She looks just like the others.

[Bobby Lee]

Fuck you, dude. You're the problem with society, dude.

[Carlos]

Oh, that's very interesting.

[Bobby Lee]

It's like, it's like, it's like Andres wife, they probably go, you can do better. But she's like, I'm in love.

[Andrew Santino]

But I do think she can do better.

[Bobby Lee]

I know she can, but she's like, I'm in love. What's that Japanese thing you're wearing? What does it say on your head?

[Andrew Santino]

That's. That's the Dodgers. That's for Shohei Ohtani.

[Bobby Lee]

Oh, yeah, he's great.

[Andrew Santino]

I was at the Dodger game last night. We beat him 16 and nothing took series. And I will say something.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah.

[Andrew Santino]

The amount of baseball fans, Japanese and Asian fans he's brought is he's worth the half a billion they gave him.

[Bobby Lee]

Oh, yeah.

[Andrew Santino]

Easily.

[Bobby Lee]

Easily.

[Andrew Santino]

He's brought so much money to this team.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah.

[Andrew Santino]

Look at the dude. These stands are filled with people that are first time goers, dude. Sometimes they fly here from Japan to go to the fucking game.

[Bobby Lee]

Okay? Now why would you laugh at that photo of these Japanese people laughing?

[Carlos]

Just that girl too happy right there on the left.

[Andrew Santino]

She's excited.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah, yeah. It's. I don't know, it's like somebody just made freshly made boba or something.

[Andrew Santino]

Sticky bun. Yeah, she's happy.

[Bobby Lee]

Okay.

[Andrew Santino]

I mean, honestly though, dude. Honestly, he brought the fan. Like there was a row of. Of people in front of us that, you know, I could hear they didn't speak English and they were there for Shohei.

[Bobby Lee]

Wow.

[Andrew Santino]

I mean, it's unbelievable.

[Bobby Lee]

It's incredible.

[Andrew Santino]

He just really like draws up. He's also a specimen. Look up his fucking chart. You don't know who Shohei Otani is?

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah, I do. I watched the World Series last year.

[Andrew Santino]

He's a God. He's got to be 6, 6. How much does he weigh? Go to his stats. Dude. This guy is superhuman. 209 pounds. How tall is he?

[Carlos]

Six, four?

[Andrew Santino]

Six, four.

[Bobby Lee]

He is.

[Andrew Santino]

You never seen a Japanese guy that big.

[Bobby Lee]

What's his wife look like?

[Andrew Santino]

Does she have a wag choy? Ohtani's wife is Mamilio.

[Bobby Lee]

Oh, she's an athlete too. I remember that.

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah.

[Bobby Lee]

Yes. She's a pro basketball player.

[Andrew Santino]

She's a wag.

[Bobby Lee]

Zoom in that.

[Andrew Santino]

She's wagging, dude. Okay, so I'm gonna use this term a lot. Wag.

[Bobby Lee]

Wag. Yeah. Wag's a good one.

[Andrew Santino]

Wives.

[Bobby Lee]

I love your wag.

[Andrew Santino]

Wives and girlfriends.

[Bobby Lee]

That's right.

[Andrew Santino]

But it's of athletes.

[Bobby Lee]

That's right.

[Andrew Santino]

We don't get wags, man.

[Bobby Lee]

You're a golfer.

[Andrew Santino]

We get wogs.

[Bobby Lee]

You're a golfer.

[Andrew Santino]

That's right.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah. You're not. Dude, you're an athlete. In another life, you could have been an athlete. The way. Honestly, the way he bowls, it's like. I've never seen anything like it. I do love, like, anything. The only thing that I think I can beat you is ping pong. Probably. Yeah, maybe.

[Andrew Santino]

Have you been playing?

[Bobby Lee]

Dude, if you beat me in ping pong, I'm going to kill myself.

[Andrew Santino]

Let's do a bad friends ping pong challenge and let's. Seriously. I'm serious. Let's get a table.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah. Bobby will win because I beat you pretty bad at ping pong and Bobby's good.

[Andrew Santino]

When did you beat me at ping pong? I love Mexico.

[Bobby Lee]

In Mexico.

[Andrew Santino]

I remember I was fucked up.

[Bobby Lee]

He was drunk. Yeah.

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah, I was fucked up. You didn't beat me sober. Beat me sober. And you were sober. Yes. You didn't drink. Interesting. And you see how he got a little chippy right there? That's an interesting little move, kid.

[Bobby Lee]

You're done. No more nothing.

[Carlos]

What? I thought we were back. Good.

[Bobby Lee]

No. You think I was. I was fucking kidding, dude. You're done, Dude. Toast. Dude. War. Yeah. I didn't start it.

[Carlos]

Yeah, but now that we're at war.

[Bobby Lee]

I have to fight. But I haven't even attacked you back.

[Andrew Santino]

I'm getting ready. Okay, Carlos, look into the camera. Say thank you for being a mad friend, and I might not be here next week.

[Carlos]

Thank you for being a bad friend. I might not be here next week.

[Andrew Santino]

Right?

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah.