Bobby’s Dog Died on Fancy’s B Day

Summary

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Bad Friends: "Bobby’s Dog Died on Fancy’s B Day"

Hosts: Bobby Lee & Andrew Santino
Date: March 30, 2026

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Episode Overview

This episode of Bad Friends revolves around Bobby Lee dealing with the recent loss of his beloved dog, Remy, which happened to coincide with Fancy’s birthday. Bobby and Andrew dig into the emotional (and often awkwardly comedic) realities of grief, share wild stories from Bobby’s stint on a comedy cruise, pitch absurd show ideas, and discuss the dynamics of friendship and family. Meanwhile, the crew celebrates Fancy’s birthday with songs, gifts, and good-natured ribbing, maintaining the show’s signature balance of irreverence and heart.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Remy the Dog’s Passing

• Bobby recounts Remy’s life and death:

  • Remy, a dog they rescued years prior, was an important emotional presence in Bobby’s life. (26:19)
  • During his final days, Remy could not move or eat; Kalila (Bobby’s ex) called Bobby when the end was near. (27:16)
  • The euthanasia process is described in detail—how a vet comes to the house, sedates the animal, and then administers a second shot. (29:47)
  • Bobby tries to lighten the somber moment with jokes about the vet being attractive and the surreal moment of grief and vulnerability. (28:45–29:38)

• Bobby’s grief process:

  • He admits to wailing after Remy passed, but also maintains a belief that he’ll see his loved ones—human or animal—again.

    “I always believe I’m going to see them again... It’s almost just like, I’ll see you soon, maybe because I’ll die soon.” – Bobby (33:02)

  • He questions the public display of grief on social media, preferring to keep it private:

    “I don’t want people to go, ‘Oh, I’m so sorry...’ That’s not where—I mean, this is a podcast, we tell our fans what’s really going on.” – Bobby (35:12)

• Memories and dog loyalty:

  • Bobby reflects on Remy’s loyalty, comparing him to other pets who are "betrayers."

    “Remy’s like, no, you’re my guy.” – Bobby (36:47)

  • The episode notes the deep bond formed and how hard it is to say goodbye:

    “You just don’t... I had no idea that you could literally bond with it like it’s family.” – Bobby (38:15)

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2. Birthday Shenanigans for Fancy

• Celebrating Fancy’s birthday:
  • The crew sings a custom Spanish birthday song for Fancy, complete with rehearsed verses and playful banter. (18:02–19:32)
  • Gift reveal: A toy Tesla Cybertruck—prompting jokes about its cost and utility. (19:49–20:11)
  • The segment is wrapped in classic Bad Friends style: affectionate, teasing, and a little chaotic.

3. Bobby’s Comedy Cruise Adventure

• Performing at Sea:

  • Bobby shares experiences from a comedian cruise headlined by Adam Devine and friends. He initially expected short showcase sets but had to headline two solo shows in a rocking theater. (05:30–07:33)
  • First show: A huge success—Bobby “crushed” and briefly fantasized about becoming a career cruise comic.
  • Second show: Total bomb, same crowd, same material.

    “The first eight rows… it was the same eight rows in the first...they’d seen it already a day before.” – Bobby (07:59)

  • To save face, Bobby takes his clothes off onstage:

    “When that problem is tough enough, you take your clothes off.” – Bobby (10:27)

  • Relays wild moments, such as photos with strangers, a wild afterparty, and a humorous recounting of bingo night with Eric Griffin. (11:07)

• “The Haven” Experience:

  • Describes the private, elite area for comics on the ship—pool, steam, Jacuzzi, catering—plus failed attempts by friends to access it. (12:46–13:22)

• Pitching a Bad Friends Cruise:

  • Bobby pitches the idea, Andrew expresses hesitance and a litany of fears (pirates, food, feeling trapped), sparking a classic long-form bit.

    “Let’s do a vote, Carlos. Do it online. If people would come… let’s just see how many people would come.” – Bobby (61:20)
    “Every comic I know who’s been on these cruises… just did the exact same thing. I want to do my own cruise.” – Andrew (61:41)

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4. Relationship and Workplace Comedy

• Smelling Co-Star’s Armpit:
  • Bobby tells a story about asking a (married) actress during a shoot if he can smell her armpit—as a joke. (15:06–17:28)
  • Both hosts analyze workplace boundaries, consent, and intent. Andrew admits he wouldn't have done it, Bobby clarifies he asked permission and it went over well.

    “If you ask nicely... you said, ‘May I smell?’ She gave you one big huff.” – Andrew & Carlos (17:22)
    “Purity. Purity as essential oil. Like an essential oil.” – Bobby describes the scent (17:29)

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5. Family, Chores, and Living Together

• Laundry Debates and Housework:
  • Jokey argument erupts about who does actual chores, folding towels, and how Bobby claims he’s never witnessed the girls do laundry (39:08).
  • Andrew compares himself to Daredevil, stating his senses would detect laundry being done. (39:27)
  • Classic observational humor about living with family and household negotiation.

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6. Pop Culture & Upcoming Plans

• Coachella and Music Talk:

  • Plans for attending Coachella, lineup chat (Justin Bieber, Sabrina Carpenter, Carol G, The Strokes), ticket price shock ($1,000+ a person), and reminiscing about past festival snafus. (51:08–55:22)
  • Bobby promises this will be his first and last Coachella.

• VR, Escape Rooms, and Game Nights:

  • Bobby relives victories (and minor drama) at VR gaming and escape rooms, touting himself as a fun uncle, while Andrew accuses him of being overly competitive and bossy in team games. (45:03–49:42)

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7. Generational and Parental Jokes

• Parents and Tech:
  • Andrew vents about helping his aging parents use Apple TV, describing the universal frustration of remote tech troubleshooting. (66:13)
  • Classic observational riffing about family stress.

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Notable Quotes & Moments

• On the surreal process of animal euthanasia:

  “There’s two shots… one is full of Valium…other things… he did a face like… at peace. The second shot is the thing.” – Bobby (29:51–30:25)

• On grief and afterlife:

  “I always believe they're still with me. I'm gonna see them again. It's just, I'll see you soon, maybe because I'll die soon.” – Bobby (33:10)

• On cruise show failure:

  “First show, fucking crush. Second show, same people came… Tanking.” – Bobby (07:26–08:49)

• The Bobby Lee method for bombing onstage:

  “There’s an answer to every problem—and when that problem is tough enough, you take your clothes off.” – Bobby (10:26)

• On not broadcasting grief online:

  “It’s not something to... I don’t want, you know, people to go, ‘Oh, I’m so sorry.’ That’s not where—I mean, this is a podcast, we tell our fans what’s really going on.” – Bobby (35:12)

• Pop culture confusion:

  “How is [Taco Bell] not Spanish? Taco…And bell. There’s so many bells in Spain, dude!” – Bobby (42:17)

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Timestamps for Important Segments

• [04:14] – Bobby announces and process around Remy’s death begins
• [05:42] – Bobby explains expectations vs. reality on the comedy cruise
• [07:26] – Details about first (great) and second (bombed) cruise shows
• [09:44] – Andrew and Bobby analyze Bobby’s habit of sending death photos
• [15:06] – Bobby tells the “smelling armpit as a joke” set story
• [18:02] – Fancy’s birthday; “Happy Birthday” song in Spanish
• [26:19] – In-depth discussion of Remy’s life and passing
• [29:47] – Home euthanasia procedure, Bobby’s coping mechanisms
• [33:02] – Spiritual views on afterlife and loss
• [38:15] – Reflecting on dog/human family bond
• [45:03] – Recap of VR gaming, escape rooms, Bobby as “fun” uncle
• [51:08] – Coachella pricing, festival memories, and exasperation
• [61:20] – Bobby pitches a fan cruise; Andrew’s cruise skepticism/bit
• [66:13] – Andrew’s story about tech issues with his parents

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Tone & Style

The episode flows with Bad Friends’ signature irreverence, self-deprecation, and dark humor—even in the shadow of real loss. Bobby shares deeply about Remy but maintains a comedic edge, often dipping into absurdities or playful arguments with Andrew and the rest of the crew. Throughout, the warmth and messiness of chosen “family”—friends—undergird everything.

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Final Thoughts

“Bobby’s Dog Died on Fancy’s B Day” is a classic Bad Friends blend of heartfelt storytelling, awkward over-sharing, and relentless bits. Through laughter and tears, the episode explores the fragility of life, the weirdness of showbiz, and the true role of friends as family—one birthday song and cruise ship disaster at a time.

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For new listeners:

• If you want to flip between grief, gags, and group therapy by way of Taco Bell and cruise disasters, this episode is quintessential Bad Friends.
• For deep moments: Refer to [26:19–35:50]. For cruise chaos: [05:30–13:22]. For birthday laughs: [18:02–20:11].

Transcript

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[Fancy]

You two are bad friends.

[Carlos]

Who are these two idiots?

[Andrew]

White dude and an Asian dude. You two are disgusting. You two are something.

[Fancy]

We're bad friends.

[Carlos]

Felice. Felice.

[Andrew]

You know who that is. Soccer player Cristiano.

[Carlos]

Happy birthday, Fancy. Happy birthday to Fancy B. It's his birthday.

[Andrew]

Happy birthday, bud. Thank you, guys. Happy birthday. Hey, hey. Okay, enough.

[Carlos]

Enough about your birthday. What did you get him for his birthday?

[Andrew]

What? What? Meta. Homo. That's what you are.

[Carlos]

Is that a good banger? I don't know, Matt. A homo?

[Andrew]

Carlos laughed.

[Carlos]

Yeah, Matahoma. Is that. That's the best you could do?

[Andrew]

But, yeah, my dog died.

[Carlos]

Let's talk about. Yeah, let's talk about your dog died on Fancy's birthday.

[Andrew]

What's that?

[Carlos]

That's you on the cruise. Look at how much fun you were having on the cruise.

[Andrew]

Just cruise. Bob. Bobby on a boat, cruising.

[Carlos]

Who are these two friends of yours?

[Andrew]

I have no idea. I'm never going on a cruise again.

[Carlos]

Dude, I think it's a good idea.

[Andrew]

This is what happens.

[Carlos]

So the girl. Which of the girls? Which?

[Andrew]

I don't know who they are.

[Carlos]

Which of those girls did you end up being?

[Andrew]

None of them. None of them.

[Carlos]

Three times. He appeared out of nowhere.

[Andrew]

That's the funniest things you ever said. Oh, that's Funny, I have no idea who they are.

[Carlos]

They look sweet.

[Andrew]

This is what happened that night. You have your mom's eyes.

[Carlos]

Holy.

[Andrew]

I'm Bobby. Mommy. There, I'm Bobby. Mommy in there. Yeah, yeah.

[Carlos]

What happened that night?

[Andrew]

So I did a show. Okay, look at that Rolling Stone shirt I have on. And I did a show. Did we talk about the cruise?

[Carlos]

No.

[Andrew]

Oh, this is the first time we've meeting.

[Carlos]

We haven't been together in weeks.

[Andrew]

Weeks. Weeks. Can I take this off? It's like for some reason distracting.

[Carlos]

Leave it on. You're a bull.

[Andrew]

I know, but.

[Carlos]

Okay, it's actually aligned perfectly. Cause right above the tail is your face and that's where that should be. Okay, so what happened this night?

[Andrew]

All right, so well, let's talk about the cruise in general.

[Carlos]

Yeah. Adam Devine, Anders and Blake did a cruise called. This is important cruise.

[Andrew]

Yes. And all I did was. The only person I saw, mostly it was Swartzen.

[Carlos]

Yeah, Nick. Nick called me a bunch.

[Andrew]

Yeah, yeah, we ate a lot. And then sometimes Aaron, Eric Griffin would show up, right? And we'd be like, oh, because I have to pay for it.

[Carlos]

When you read it, when you're.

[Andrew]

When he shows up, you have to pay for it. You're like, oh my God, here goes the bill.

[Carlos]

Wait a minute. It wasn't.

[Andrew]

I want to pay a thousand dollars

[Carlos]

free on the cruise.

[Andrew]

No, because you have to pay extra for the good stuff. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Before the cruise. I'll tell you this. Get this out of the. Get this out of the way. Okay, okay. My. My dog dies. Right? Right?

[Carlos]

Your dog died, right?

[Andrew]

You say what?

[Carlos]

I love you. And I'm sorry.

[Andrew]

I love you. I'm sorry. My empathy, this and that.

[Carlos]

It broke my heart.

[Andrew]

Right, right. Andreas. Nothing.

[Carlos]

You did nothing.

[Andrew]

Nothing. Carlos, nothing. I meant to say, how tasty. And then. How what?

[Carlos]

How tasty was it?

[Andrew]

Okay, hold on, hold on, hold on, hold on. Let that sit. Let us ponder that. Right? No one say a word. Okay. And I'm going to answer that question.

[Carlos]

It's aging right now.

[Andrew]

Yeah, yeah, I'm going to answer that question right now. Very tasty, very delicious.

[Carlos]

Very good.

[Andrew]

All right, so we didn't know. I know. And then moon. Right, Asking for money. What? For the polar plunge. All right, yeah, yeah, yeah. Asking for money.

[Carlos]

Did you end up giving him money?

[Andrew]

No, I refuse, I refuse. Cuz my dog died.

[Carlos]

I'm sorry. Your dog? Yeah.

[Andrew]

No, no, let's talk about the cruise and the dog. Cuz the girls are going to talk about the dog. Okay, okay. I'M taking this off.

[Carlos]

I like it when it's on. Take it off.

[Andrew]

Okay, I'll keep it on.

[Carlos]

Keep it on. It's really funny.

[Andrew]

All right. Okay.

[Carlos]

It's sweet looking. You're a bull. I'm a matador.

[Andrew]

All right, so the cruise. A couple of nightmares happened. What are they on the cruise? Okay, so I show up on the boat, and then Nick goes, so, you know you're doing two shows. You know this, right?

[Carlos]

He told me.

[Andrew]

And I go, well, yeah, just five 10 minute spots at these, like, Showcase, you know, like the Comedy Store.

[Carlos]

He thinks he's at the store on a cruise.

[Andrew]

Yeah, yeah. I think it's gonna be 12 guys on a lineup. Oh, you're up at 9:45 to 9:55. And Nick goes, no, you're headlining a theater.

[Carlos]

Yeah. They give you money to play a show.

[Andrew]

I had no idea. Okay, Right. So I got off the boat.

[Carlos]

You left.

[Andrew]

I got right. I got right off.

[Carlos]

Okay.

[Andrew]

Now I'm calling people. I'm like.

[Carlos]

I mean, you're calling your agent. I can't. This. No, I didn't sign up for this. I literally did sign up for it.

[Andrew]

Yeah, but I didn't know.

[Carlos]

Well, okay.

[Andrew]

Yeah, yeah. So when you don't know, you don't know. Right, Right. Like, it's like the war in Iran right now.

[Carlos]

We do know.

[Andrew]

We don't know what. We don't know. We kind of don't know why we're in. We don't know why we're going.

[Carlos]

I can give you some hints.

[Andrew]

Yeah, yeah, I know, but we're not a political show.

[Carlos]

Yeah, we don't want to talk about it.

[Andrew]

It's the same things. Iran. I don't know what. I don't know what we're doing. Hey. Okay,

[Carlos]

that's subliminal enough. So we don't know why.

[Andrew]

We don't know why.

[Carlos]

Yeah, we do.

[Andrew]

So. So get back on the boat because I guess I have to do it contractually. And then.

[Carlos]

Yeah, you already said yes. You signed up, they paid you.

[Andrew]

Right? So we go to. I go to the first show. You know, packed theater. It's a theater. Sold out, but it's rocking back and forth. I don't know if you know, this

[Carlos]

mid show you're in, it's wavy.

[Andrew]

You're in the middle of the ocean.

[Carlos]

All right. I didn't.

[Andrew]

Yeah, you're doing stand up like this, dude. It's insane.

[Carlos]

Yeah, but you had fun.

[Andrew]

Physical too, right? So you're doing double things.

[Carlos]

Right.

[Andrew]

You're balancing and doing Physicality.

[Carlos]

Double duty.

[Andrew]

Double duty.

[Carlos]

Double duty, baby.

[Andrew]

Yeah. Yeah. And I have to say, right, that. That first show, fucking Crush.

[Carlos]

It was incredible.

[Andrew]

Incredible.

[Carlos]

One of the best shows you've ever done, probably. Wow.

[Andrew]

What? I get off.

[Carlos]

I'm like, oh, shit, I'm a cruise comic now.

[Andrew]

Yeah. You know what I mean? I could do this forever, Bobby.

[Carlos]

On the high seas.

[Andrew]

Yeah, on the high seas. Right? And then the second show happens two days later.

[Carlos]

What happened?

[Andrew]

The same people come.

[Carlos]

Same show.

[Andrew]

The same exact people come.

[Carlos]

No. How many people are on the boat? Thousands. Right.

[Andrew]

All I know is this. The first eight rows that I could see, it was the same eight rows in the first.

[Carlos]

Wearing the same clothes.

[Andrew]

No, but I know their faces and stuff because you. You run into them on the ship, right? You know.

[Carlos]

You know everybody, right?

[Andrew]

You know what I mean? Hey, Jim. Hey, Cliff. Samantha. How was the little pool? Pool or whatever?

[Carlos]

The pool pool.

[Andrew]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Right, Tanya? You know, you do, right? People are gambling, right? People come on over, play blackjack. Okay, Frank. Nicky.

[Carlos]

Okay, Frank And Nikki. Nikki, yeah. What's wrong with Frank? They were on the boat.

[Andrew]

Hey, Nikki.

[Carlos]

Okay, anyway, same show.

[Andrew]

Same show, right? I go up there, right? One minute in, ask anybody that was there. Silence.

[Carlos]

Tanking.

[Andrew]

Tanking.

[Carlos]

Wait, why?

[Andrew]

I. They'd seen it already a day before, but.

[Carlos]

How much time did you do?

[Andrew]

45 minutes. Okay, you're sinking.

[Carlos]

Okay, well, you. Yeah, yeah.

[Andrew]

I was thinking it was bad. Yeah, yeah. It was Titanic for me. Then three minutes in, I was like. I just stopped the show.

[Carlos]

You didn't. You acknowledged it.

[Andrew]

Oh, I had to.

[Carlos]

You had to be like.

[Andrew]

I stopped. I go, everyone's heard this before, right? The whole audience goes, yeah. And I go, well, you know what else? You know?

[Carlos]

You did the same act again.

[Andrew]

No, I started doing jokes. Like, there was. So. In the first show, there was, like, three of my pretty good jokes that I completely forgot to do.

[Carlos]

From your special.

[Andrew]

From my special, right. So I put it. Put those back in. Those killed. And then I would go back into these. The other jokes and start bombing again

[Carlos]

because they already heard it. They didn't laugh again, even though they heard it.

[Fancy]

And.

[Andrew]

And here's.

[Carlos]

Dude, the photo was incredible. You sent me your dog. What is it with you guys taking pictures of dead things? It's like he. His dad's dead, sends me a photo immediately. His dog dies, sends me a photo immediately. By the way, the photo of the dog is.

[Andrew]

It's so sad and beautiful. It's beautiful.

[Carlos]

Yeah, because they wrapped him up in a little, like, swaddling. Like in a manger.

[Andrew]

Yeah, yeah.

[Carlos]

He's like a little baby Jesus.

[Andrew]

Baby Jesus. Yeah. So bojo. Anyway, I. Bojo. No, it was Remy.

[Carlos]

It was Remy.

[Andrew]

Yeah. So anyway, I continue to bomb. And you're bombing bad. Bombing bad. And I just take my clothes off. Yeah. You know how I do it?

[Carlos]

There's always a dancer.

[Andrew]

There's an answer to every problem.

[Carlos]

There is.

[Andrew]

And when that problem is tough enough, you take your clothes off.

[Carlos]

Take off your clothes.

[Andrew]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Carlos]

Well, it's an adult cruise. And you got a great body now

[Andrew]

because thanks to life in prison. Right. First day, right? Take your clothes off.

[Carlos]

Take your clothes off.

[Andrew]

Yeah, yeah.

[Carlos]

Don't fight this guy.

[Andrew]

Problem solved.

[Carlos]

Take your clothes.

[Andrew]

All right. You accept, right? And you get stretched.

[Carlos]

And you got stretched.

[Andrew]

I got stretched out.

[Carlos]

So you killed on the second show because you got naked.

[Andrew]

I bombed. No, the first show killed. Second show, I had to survive.

[Carlos]

And you did.

[Andrew]

Yeah.

[Carlos]

You fought and survived.

[Andrew]

Although I had to do bingo night naked. No, Bingo night was fun because I did with Griffin and I decided to do, you know, my prayers.

[Carlos]

Oh, yeah.

[Andrew]

For Thanksgiving. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. And I. So I told the whole audience, probably to 250 people there. Or I get on your knees, right. Everyone else, right?

[Carlos]

And you did a prayer.

[Andrew]

And I took the mic and I did the longest prayer about the ocean. And how about the sea dwelling, you know, we can't even go deep enough.

[Carlos]

Yeah.

[Andrew]

I mean, because it's the. Mr. We haven't even discovered the species down. You know, I mean, and went on and on and on. It was so fun. That was fun.

[Carlos]

So you killed.

[Andrew]

Killed that. And then. So this photo. Let's go back to this photo.

[Carlos]

Yeah, this photo for the people at home.

[Andrew]

So there's this thing.

[Carlos]

Two wonderful women are there. One of them's wearing lingerie, so it seems. And this is where this after hours.

[Andrew]

Okay, what are you zooming out my hand for? It's above the waist.

[Carlos]

The positioning is right.

[Andrew]

Yeah, the positioning was very el correcto.

[Carlos]

So give us this. These two young ladies that are on the boat with you.

[Andrew]

Okay, so this is the night I bombed.

[Carlos]

Is that the captain?

[Andrew]

What?

[Carlos]

That's the captain on the left.

[Andrew]

Yeah, yeah. That's the captain of the ship.

[Carlos]

She drove the boat.

[Andrew]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Carlos]

And the one on the right is.

[Andrew]

We hit three icebergs. We barely survived.

[Carlos]

Yeah, there's four icebergs.

[Andrew]

Yeah, yeah. So. Yeah, so what? I'm. So that. I don't know if you've never been on a cruise ship.

[Carlos]

Never. I won't.

[Andrew]

Yeah. Well, also, I'm gonna pitch you.

[Carlos]

Please.

[Andrew]

Yeah. The Bad Friends cruise show.

[Carlos]

Oh, wow.

[Andrew]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Carlos]

I'm not gonna do it.

[Andrew]

Yeah, you are.

[Carlos]

No.

[Andrew]

Yeah. It's so fun.

[Carlos]

I don't want to be on a boat.

[Andrew]

So fun.

[Carlos]

All right, I'll do it.

[Andrew]

I'm telling you right now, at the end of the day, I'm glad I went.

[Carlos]

It was worth it.

[Andrew]

Oh, my God, it was so worth it because you, you're. I, you know, you're with all your friends.

[Carlos]

Yeah.

[Andrew]

And that area is called the Haven. So it's like, you know, we're, you know, separated from everyone.

[Carlos]

Oh, you're in your private.

[Andrew]

So it's like eight luxurious. You know what I mean?

[Carlos]

Cabins.

[Andrew]

Cabins.

[Carlos]

Ah.

[Andrew]

And in the middle of it is a pool, steam room, Jacuzzi, open 24 hours and 24 hour catering.

[Carlos]

Just for you.

[Andrew]

Just for me.

[Carlos]

Comics.

[Andrew]

Yeah, yeah.

[Carlos]

Just for the comics.

[Andrew]

Yeah. I mean, Griffin was down with everyone.

[Carlos]

No. Was he really?

[Andrew]

Wow.

[Carlos]

Oh, my God.

[Andrew]

Yeah. Griffin was out.

[Carlos]

So you invited these two friends to the Haven, and he couldn't get up.

[Andrew]

He couldn't get to the Haven.

[Carlos]

Wow.

[Andrew]

Yeah. Yeah. I never saw him one time he was complaining the whole time.

[Carlos]

How do these girls get into the Haven?

[Andrew]

I have no idea. But I was just sitting there, and after I bombed. With their wings. What'd you say? With their wings.

[Carlos]

They got into the Haven. They seem like they had passes.

[Andrew]

God. Dude. Dude. When you're. For your birthday, dude, you're on. Yeah. I don't know how I, you know, I think it was the manager of the boys that brought them up, Right. Just sitting there, they go, can we take a photo? Let's do a funny photo. How about, you know, we, you know, the brush thing? And I'm like, all right, So I did a. I did a funny eye thing, and I never saw them again.

[Carlos]

You never saw either these women again. But this photo got on the Internet. It's a great photo.

[Andrew]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Carlos]

I mean, you look good. They look good.

[Andrew]

Yeah.

[Carlos]

This looks like a fun night.

[Andrew]

Yeah, Well, I mean, it was.

[Carlos]

You killed it.

[Andrew]

It was a. It was a fun experience. And then we went to Mexico, and we, Me and Eric went to a little.

[Carlos]

You went to Jalisco talk.

[Andrew]

We got tacos at a little restaurant,

[Carlos]

walked back, and then you turned around and came back.

[Andrew]

We came back and then went straight to Philly. Yeah.

[Carlos]

So this guy. Let's give it up for this guy.

[Andrew]

And I want to ask you a question as a friend and as A comrade. Okay. And as a brother.

[Carlos]

Yeah.

[Andrew]

Okay.

[Carlos]

Okay.

[Andrew]

And as a.

[Carlos]

Search what you're searching.

[Andrew]

Yeah, yeah, lover.

[Carlos]

Okay.

[Andrew]

Okay. Is this. Is. I can say this. I did a scene on a show, and my scene was opposite Stavros.

[Carlos]

Love.

[Andrew]

Funniest.

[Carlos]

Funniest guys alive.

[Andrew]

Killing it.

[Carlos]

Yeah.

[Andrew]

Right. And I. You know, I mean, in the scene, there was a lovely actress. You know what I mean, sitting on my lap, and we're having a conversation in between takes, right? I look at the actress and I go, excuse me, can I smell your armpit? And she goes, yeah, yeah. So I smelled it. And this tavern goes, you can't do that.

[Carlos]

Wait, why? In the middle of the scene.

[Andrew]

No, it was between. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Fancy]

Oh,

[Carlos]

yeah, that you can.

[Andrew]

Yeah, you can.

[Carlos]

Middle of the. If it's in the middle of the scene.

[Andrew]

No, it wasn't in the scene.

[Carlos]

It wasn't a part of the show.

[Andrew]

No.

[Carlos]

Oh, that's an interesting move.

[Andrew]

No, I asked.

[Carlos]

Hold a minute. What were you. I asked the question, can I smell your armpit now?

[Andrew]

I go, may I? I said, may I?

[Carlos]

Do you think that she smells what?

[Andrew]

As a joke? I go, may I smell your armpit? As a joke?

[Carlos]

As a bit.

[Andrew]

As a bit. And she goes, yes, you can. So it. And the Stavros goes, you can't do that.

[Carlos]

And you did.

[Andrew]

I did it.

[Carlos]

And. And did that cause a rift? No, it was fine.

[Andrew]

But my point is, is that. What do you think?

[Carlos]

I think you shouldn't have done it.

[Andrew]

Why?

[Carlos]

I. Why? You know what? I support you always.

[Andrew]

I know, but why?

[Carlos]

What? Why?

[Andrew]

It's not a.

[Carlos]

What did you need to smell her armpit for?

[Andrew]

Okay. Would Andrew have done it? No.

[Carlos]

In a million years? No.

[Andrew]

In a million years? No. But we had already. We've already hung out. I knew her. Right.

[Carlos]

Oh, was this a flirtatious?

[Andrew]

No, it wasn't. She's married. Oh, yeah. Yeah. It was just a joke. I was like. Because she was. It was right here. I go, can I smell your arm? May I smell your arms?

[Carlos]

Okay. To your credit, she's sitting on you. You're in the scene together.

[Andrew]

Yeah.

[Carlos]

Your arm is around.

[Andrew]

They say cut, right? They're setting up a different thing. But, like, don't move because we're just doing a little adjustment.

[Carlos]

You want to know if she's. What? You want to just.

[Andrew]

I don't. That wasn't even in the thinking anyway. It was just something I. As a joke. I go, hey, can I smell your armpit?

[Carlos]

Did it get a laugh? Yes, she laughed.

[Andrew]

She Laughed.

[Carlos]

That's fine. It killed.

[Andrew]

She laughed. Stavros goes, you can't do that.

[Carlos]

He's jealous. That's a pure case of jealousy. That's how I would like to be able to smell her armpit, but I can't.

[Andrew]

Yeah. Why can't we smell things?

[Carlos]

We should.

[Andrew]

I think that's.

[Carlos]

We should.

[Andrew]

If you ask nicely.

[Carlos]

If you say, may I?

[Andrew]

Yeah, yeah.

[Carlos]

And you said, may I smell?

[Andrew]

May I smell?

[Carlos]

She gave you one big huff.

[Andrew]

Yes.

[Carlos]

What did it smell like?

[Andrew]

Purity.

[Carlos]

Purity.

[Andrew]

Purity as essential oil. Like an essential oil.

[Carlos]

You had a lot of fun. The last couple of weeks. You've been cruising.

[Andrew]

My dog died.

[Carlos]

You got three more dogs.

[Andrew]

It was the worst.

[Carlos]

It was awful.

[Andrew]

It was awful. It was, bring the girls in.

[Carlos]

Bring the girls.

[Andrew]

Yeah.

[Carlos]

I feel bad that the dog died. Broke my heart. Wow, look at this. For Fancy's birthday. And you guys wanted to sing your song that you guys wrote in Spanish, so.

[Andrew]

And you've been rehearsing it last night. I was. They were watching the Harry Styles thing.

[Carlos]

Yeah. It wasn't.

[Andrew]

Who wasn't?

[Carlos]

Is that what that line is for on Melrose? Is that for Harry Styles? Do you know what I'm talking about?

[Fancy]

Oh, the. He likes watching you something.

[Carlos]

Look up line in Los Angeles on Melrose. I thought somebody told me it was for Harry Styles, but there's been a line for, like, four days straight. What's going on? A line on the streets of Melrose for Harry Styles. Is he releasing an album? Like signing or something?

[Fancy]

He already released his new album, but it's on Netflix, too.

[Carlos]

Okay, look at this. Fans line up overnight for LA for Harry Styles. LA Pop up. They were. Dude, it was around the block, cuz.

[Fancy]

It's scary.

[Carlos]

But you just waited outside to do what? Just to. He's not there.

[Fancy]

He's not there, but maybe merch.

[Carlos]

Maybe merch.

[Andrew]

Maybe merch.

[Carlos]

All right, so sing Fancy. Be the song.

[Andrew]

Well, so last night they were watching the Harry Styles thing, and then I heard them say, well, I know that it's Andreas's birthday.

[Carlos]

It is.

[Andrew]

Let's write, you know, I mean, a song for his birthday. And I heard them rehearse it.

[Carlos]

Let's hear it.

[Andrew]

And I can't wait to hear it. So, yeah, and I know that, Issa, you start off with the first verse, right? So let's go, let's go. I'm excited. I'm so excited. Happy birthday, by the way. Here we go. Here's your present.

[Fancy]

Happy birthday to Andres. Mi amore, mi amor, we love you. Happy birthday hey. Hey. Yeah.

[Carlos]

Now, you guys rehearsed that for how many hours?

[Andrew]

About three hours. About three hours. Yeah. Yeah. She wrote. Yeah.

[Carlos]

You wrote the.

[Andrew]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. She sat down and wrote it. It was beautiful. Yeah. I want to give you.

[Carlos]

We should give Andres his gift. We bought him. You guys know he's been wanting a new car for a long time.

[Andrew]

Yeah.

[Fancy]

You got him.

[Carlos]

We decided. We decided he's gonna get a Tesla.

[Andrew]

A Tesla. Yep. Oh, my God.

[Carlos]

But we got you a cyber truck. Is that okay?

[Andrew]

Yeah, that's fine. But it's a toy one, right? There we go. There you go. Thank you, guys. That costs. You know how much that cost? 4.95.

[Carlos]

So, yeah.

[Andrew]

Happy birthday, dude.

[Carlos]

And your daughter can go right here in the back.

[Andrew]

In the back.

[Carlos]

Right in the back of the cybertruck.

[Andrew]

Yep. Thank you, guys. And if you look inside, it's one of his androids, his new robot. Yeah, yeah. He's in the other. He's in the other one, right? Yeah, yeah. It's great. Yeah.

[Carlos]

Here you go, man.

[Andrew]

Yeah. Happy birthday, dude. Happy birthday, bud. Okay.

[Carlos]

Happy birthday.

[Andrew]

Happy birthday.

[Carlos]

What a good song you guys sung.

[Andrew]

What a great song, guys. Yeah.

[Carlos]

By the way, you both look.

[Andrew]

Yeah.

[Carlos]

Look like you might be Latina. Yeah, you might be.

[Fancy]

That's a compliment.

[Carlos]

You more than you, though, Issa. Yeah. Because the style is right. Well, she put all the effort. She did the whole thing.

[Andrew]

Yeah.

[Carlos]

Also is wearing more of a Spanish. Traditional Spanish.

[Andrew]

Yeah. Rudy's, you're more like. You're like. More like Hollywood. What a Mexican would look like. Dances with Wolvesy.

[Carlos]

Yes.

[Andrew]

Yeah.

[Carlos]

Yes.

[Andrew]

You're more. Dances as a Wolvesy kind of a native. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Carlos]

She looks like she buses tables at Casa Vega.

[Andrew]

Casa Vega. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Hams. I love Hims because they take care of all my needs.

[Carlos]

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[Carlos]

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[Carlos]

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[Andrew]

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[Carlos]

And I'm going to the orange gala for redheaded people. And I got myself the cashmere V neck. I do love the cashmere V neck. I know. Thank you to Quince for sending us beautiful 100% Mongolian cashmere. It's the same stuff that luxury brands use, but guess what? It ain't as pricey as all that other overpriced nonsense. Their clothing is rated very high by thousands of people who wear it every day because they only partner with factories that meet rigorous standards for craftsmanship and ethical production, which we like here at

[Andrew]

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[Carlos]

That's right. These tees in 100% Pima cotton and European jersey linen, I'm telling you, they're versatile pieces you can wear with anything. You know, you make a wardrobe work from season to season, whether you're layering, whether it's hot out, which is coming, it's good, weather's coming on the way or you know, you want something to bundle up because you still have a couple more weeks of winter left here.

[Andrew]

Well, the oxford shirt I'm going to wear is I'm going to wear my own old jeans with it. But it looks really good. I'm going to tuck it in, put my putting a belt on it. It looks really good.

[Carlos]

It's new and old together.

[Andrew]

Yeah, right.

[Carlos]

That's our. That's my new and old together right now, you know.

[Andrew]

Okay.

[Carlos]

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[Andrew]

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[Carlos]

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[Carlos]

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[Andrew]

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[Carlos]

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[Andrew]

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[Carlos]

Girls, talk about the dog. We're sorry about the dog.

[Fancy]

Oh, who.

[Carlos]

Who found the dog? You were out of town.

[Andrew]

No, I was here.

[Carlos]

Oh, it. Oh, it died. When you were.

[Andrew]

So what? H. Yeah.

[Carlos]

I thought you were gone When. When the dog died?

[Andrew]

No, no, no, I was here. I was there. Didn't cry at all?

[Fancy]

What?

[Carlos]

Huh?

[Andrew]

Didn't cry at all.

[Carlos]

Why not?

[Fancy]

You didn't cry?

[Andrew]

No, I didn't cry at all.

[Fancy]

You were sobbing, you were wailing.

[Andrew]

Oh, like a black person at a funeral.

[Carlos]

Why'd you take my baby?

[Andrew]

That's crazy, dude. I was doing, like, rolls.

[Carlos]

So you were shocked. You were numb.

[Andrew]

So this is what happened.

[Carlos]

Confused.

[Andrew]

Yeah. What happened was. So Remy is a dog that we've had for, I don't know, 15 years.

[Carlos]

It's gonna be a long 12 years.

[Fancy]

Yeah.

[Andrew]

One of the fires, he was left at a. A pound. Not pound. What do you call it?

[Carlos]

Yeah, pound.

[Andrew]

A pound. Yeah. And they said, you know, they had such an influx of animals coming in that Remy was one that they were gonna euthanize. Right. So Kalila and I went and got picked up. Remy and we. As a. A foster dog. Yeah, yeah. And we would give Remy to a family. That dog would run away from that family, come back and run toward our house in our direction.

[Carlos]

That's cute.

[Andrew]

Right? And he did that twice.

[Carlos]

So.

[Andrew]

So we kept him.

[Carlos]

You have to.

[Andrew]

Yeah, we have to keep Brett.

[Carlos]

You have to.

[Andrew]

And Remy is. What a beautiful dog he was. And so on Friday, he was at. Because he. He. He sometimes stays at our house, and then sometimes at Kalila's house.

[Carlos]

Right?

[Andrew]

And at this time, he was at Kalila's house. And she killed him.

[Carlos]

I knew it. I knew it.

[Andrew]

She strangled him to death.

[Carlos]

She strangled him. I knew it. I saw that coming.

[Andrew]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Carlos]

So he died at her home.

[Andrew]

No, no, no, go ahead.

[Fancy]

She told me when I was babysitting there, like, oh, I think Remy's telling me that it's time.

[Andrew]

No.

[Fancy]

And he was just. She was just crying, and Remy was just, like. He couldn't even move anymore. He couldn't pee, like, on his own.

[Carlos]

It breaks my heart.

[Andrew]

And he couldn't. Yeah, he wouldn't eat. And then she just called me. She's like. She goes. I go, can we do it Wednesday?

[Carlos]

Can he die Wednesday?

[Andrew]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Can we do it Wednesday? Not tomorrow.

[Carlos]

Yeah, yeah.

[Andrew]

Can we do Wednesday?

[Carlos]

I'm free. Free Wednesday?

[Andrew]

Yeah, yeah. Because Thursday I have therapy.

[Carlos]

You Got stuff to do so that

[Andrew]

I could process it.

[Carlos]

Right.

[Andrew]

You know what I mean?

[Carlos]

Let him die on Wednesday.

[Andrew]

Yeah, yeah. And she's like. Like, tomorrow he's gotta go. So we go to Kalila's house. And that whole process is weird. Number one, I. You know, I've never. The seven animals that I have are the first animals I've ever bonded with. I love them so much, and I spend a lot of time with animals, I hope, you know, And I. So I don't know what the process is like. So we're at the house, and why is it so quiet in here?

[Carlos]

We're listening to you.

[Andrew]

Oh, is that what it is? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. And, you know, a lady comes over, right? And. Why did she have to be so hot?

[Fancy]

Yeah.

[Carlos]

She went, oh, my God. The nurse that came over that came

[Andrew]

by, it was like, that's my wife.

[Carlos]

Yeah, yeah.

[Fancy]

And immediately he started making jokes,

[Andrew]

and

[Fancy]

everyone just, like, looked at him weirdly.

[Carlos]

Yeah, but she was beautiful. And you were in a time of need. You were stressed. I understand this.

[Andrew]

Yeah. I was like.

[Carlos]

He was vulnerable.

[Fancy]

No, but we were crying.

[Carlos]

And then he was crying as well. But he was crying for pussy. He was crying for help.

[Andrew]

Yeah. I was doing like, hey, grasshopper walks into a bar. Bartram says, hey, we would name it after you. You have. You have a grasshopper with Steve or whatever the joke is.

[Carlos]

You got it. Yeah, you got it. That was it.

[Andrew]

Whatever the joke was.

[Carlos]

Home run.

[Andrew]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. So I was doing that, and then. Then she gets serious and she's like, this is the process. Do you know what the process is like, or. No?

[Carlos]

No, I don't. I'm sad to know. Not know yet.

[Andrew]

Do you want to know or. No?

[Carlos]

I guess.

[Andrew]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. There's two shots.

[Fancy]

Yeah.

[Carlos]

Two gunshots.

[Andrew]

Yes. Yeah.

[Carlos]

One seems like enough.

[Andrew]

Yeah.

[Carlos]

Dog.

[Andrew]

One to the heart, one to the heart, one to the head. Wow.

[Carlos]

Couldn't just do one.

[Andrew]

Yeah.

[Carlos]

I mean.

[Andrew]

Yeah. Yeah. Semi.

[Carlos]

Remy was a tough job.

[Andrew]

Yeah. Tough dog.

[Carlos]

Two shots, and he was.

[Andrew]

He was still, like. He was hanging in there. He was hanging in there. He was hanging in there.

[Carlos]

Two shots.

[Andrew]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. So the first shots, full of volume, other things. Sedatives, you know, feel nice, to calm.

[Carlos]

Make it nice.

[Andrew]

Yeah. I mean. And he did a face like. You know, like one of those. Peace, at peace. And then the second shot is the thing. And then that was it. Well, no, I'm not done.

[Carlos]

Oh, sorry.

[Andrew]

What the, bro?

[Carlos]

Sorry about that. I assume the second shot was kind of.

[Andrew]

That's not the end. It's. What? It's like an A24 movie. All right? Sometimes the ending, it just goes on like, you know, Lord of the Rings,

[Carlos]

the third one, it's a little too long.

[Andrew]

It should have ended when. You know what I mean? They all bowed to the hobbits. Remember that? You know, I mean. No, no, no. You don't bow. We bow, and everyone bowed, and, you know, you're crying. You should have ended there. Yeah, but that's not what this movie. Yeah, yeah. This movie is going to continue, and it's not going to have a point.

[Carlos]

Got it. Okay, I'm logged in.

[Fancy]

He had to do a speech.

[Carlos]

When? What? When Remy died.

[Fancy]

Yeah, you said you wanted to do a speech, and that's when the vet was like, okay, you can do your speech.

[Andrew]

No, no, it wasn't a speech, Juliana. I went up to Remy. I whispered something in his ear. That's not a speech.

[Fancy]

You.

[Carlos]

What did you whisper?

[Fancy]

But you were making a big deal out of it.

[Carlos]

Well, it's dead. It's a big deal. What did you whisper in his ear?

[Andrew]

This is pissing me off.

[Carlos]

Was the vest still there?

[Fancy]

Yeah.

[Andrew]

This is pissing me the fuck off.

[Carlos]

I knew what was going on.

[Andrew]

This is. No, you don't know what's going on. They're lying.

[Carlos]

It sounds like they're telling the truth.

[Andrew]

No, no, no.

[Carlos]

Yeah, they're Pam.

[Andrew]

Bonding.

[Carlos]

It.

[Andrew]

Don't pan. Bonding the situation. All right, Dall. 50. Now, listen, that's what you're doing, so check it out. Okay? I wanted it. I wanted to whisper something into Remy's ear is what I was doing.

[Fancy]

No, but before that, you had. You were like. Can I just say something for everyone?

[Andrew]

And what did I say?

[Fancy]

You were just like, this dog has been. You just did a whole thing, and then you just kept looking at the liar. I'm not.

[Andrew]

I'm not. Okay. Anyway, I did a speech.

[Carlos]

What did you say in his ear?

[Andrew]

I think I did a speech. I'm taking this off. I'm taking this off. Taking this off. Right. I don't care.

[Carlos]

What did you say in his ear?

[Andrew]

Sweating. Right.

[Carlos]

What'd you say?

[Andrew]

I just basically said, thank you and I love you so much, and I'll see you again, you know, when death occurs. Like my dad.

[Carlos]

You said the same thing to your dad,

[Andrew]

and they did a selfie.

[Carlos]

When death occurs?

[Andrew]

Yeah. I believe that when death occurs. It's a weird feeling. I always believe I'm going to see them again.

[Carlos]

You will.

[Andrew]

I always believe they're still with me. I'm gonna see them again. And so it's almost just like, I'll see you soon, maybe because I'll die soon. I don't know.

[Carlos]

I hope not.

[Andrew]

Yeah, I mean, either. But, you know, I mean, but I just feel like I'm gonna see them again and. I don't know, man, that was one of the toughest when we're making light of it and stuff like that, but it was tough, man. It was really hard. I wailed. I wailed when you.

[Carlos]

You put him in that swaddling picture that you sent me of him in like a. Like a bed. It was like a bed that you made.

[Andrew]

No, they bring it.

[Carlos]

They brought the bed.

[Andrew]

Yeah.

[Carlos]

And then they take it away. Or do you want Remy on your property?

[Andrew]

What do you mean?

[Carlos]

Well, people bury their animals in their yard all the time.

[Fancy]

No, it's being cremated.

[Andrew]

They live in an apartment.

[Fancy]

I get the ashes.

[Carlos]

There's a you need.

[Andrew]

I'm going to bring Remy back to my house and bury him in my backyard.

[Carlos]

People do do that. That's very.

[Andrew]

I have his hair.

[Carlos]

Yeah, you did. Yeah, but that's not abnormal. People do bury their animals in their back.

[Andrew]

But the hair between like the sack and the bub hole. I wanted that hair.

[Carlos]

You wanted that.

[Andrew]

Ye.

[Carlos]

For some reason.

[Andrew]

Not even funny.

[Carlos]

No, it was very.

[Andrew]

It's not even. It's not even funny. It's not even that funny. You know what I mean?

[Carlos]

But they cremated. Who's got the ashes?

[Fancy]

I think us.

[Andrew]

I think us.

[Carlos]

Yeah. You don't know. You don't know where the ashes.

[Andrew]

Yeah, we do. It's us.

[Fancy]

No, we're still.

[Andrew]

We just said it, dude.

[Carlos]

Okay, I got it.

[Andrew]

All right. Get with it. Yeah. So no, they break. No. So they bring their own bed and then they. It's their own blanket and they flowers. Yeah, right. And they just kind of take them away. And he goes, you know what I'm tired of, dude? This is because I didn't post about my dog dying on Tick Tock or Instagram. Right?

[Carlos]

Yeah.

[Andrew]

So I'm tired of. This is a photo when we first met, when. Right. This is the last photo taken together. I hate that. It well do two months later, the skeleton, you know, I mean, this is two years later. I mean, why don't you keep going with it then?

[Carlos]

Right? Why not?

[Andrew]

Yeah. Yeah. My point is, is that it's not something to. I don't want, you know, me people to go, you know, go, oh, I'm so sorry. I know we're talking about here on this podcast.

[Carlos]

We're gonna get a sympathy a lot after this airs, for sure.

[Andrew]

But that's not where. I mean, this is a podcast and, you know, we. We tell our fans.

[Carlos]

Yeah.

[Andrew]

What really is going on.

[Carlos]

You just didn't want the attention.

[Andrew]

Yeah. But to. To post it, I felt like it was weird.

[Fancy]

Who was posting it?

[Andrew]

Not us. I'm just saying, when people do it,

[Carlos]

when people lose their dogs and stuff, they post about it.

[Andrew]

Yeah.

[Carlos]

They do a thing and they do a video.

[Andrew]

They do a video. Yeah, yeah.

[Carlos]

But ring light and everything.

[Andrew]

Yeah, but it was.

[Carlos]

There it is. First and last photo.

[Andrew]

Yeah, first and last photo. Oh, my God, those. I do cry when I.

[Carlos]

Well, see that, though some of these are weird because both died the person and the dog in some of these.

[Andrew]

Oh, they did?

[Carlos]

Yeah. That kid died tragically. The dog's still alive. Dog is thriving. That's terrible. Yeah.

[Andrew]

Yeah.

[Carlos]

Well, you know, what a wonderful run. And you're gonna get another dog again.

[Andrew]

No, no, I'm not.

[Carlos]

You gotta get one.

[Andrew]

No, no, no.

[Carlos]

Gotta do it, dude.

[Andrew]

I'm down to six now.

[Carlos]

Get it up to seven.

[Andrew]

No, no, no, no, no. Six. Good.

[Carlos]

Six is enough.

[Andrew]

Yeah. We have three cats and three dogs. That's a perfect family.

[Carlos]

It's a good number.

[Andrew]

It's a good number. And what are you gonna miss most about the dog?

[Carlos]

About Remy?

[Andrew]

I love when dogs. We have one dog that's a betrayer.

[Fancy]

Oh, Stubby.

[Andrew]

Yeah. Because Stub loves everyone, so it's not just you. Yeah. If you walked in the house, Stub would hop on you.

[Carlos]

Best friend.

[Andrew]

Best friend. He. Great dog. Yeah, right. But Remy wasn't like that. Remy's like, no, you're my guy.

[Carlos]

Loyal just to you.

[Andrew]

Yeah, yeah. Julio's like that too. Yeah, yeah. Goonies. Not like that. Our cat. Our orange cat. Yeah, Goonies.

[Carlos]

A. Yeah. Cats.

[Andrew]

Yeah.

[Carlos]

Cats are either sluts or they're. Or they don't talk to anybody.

[Andrew]

Yeah. Yeah. That's why I love bojo, my white cat. Because he only loves me if I'm laying down. He comes right to my chest and laser.

[Carlos]

Just for you.

[Andrew]

Just for me.

[Carlos]

Right?

[Andrew]

So Remy was like that. And so I had a special bond with him in that way. And I don't know. I'm gonna miss him a lot. Where's the joke? Where's your joke, Guy?

[Carlos]

No, I didn't.

[Andrew]

Yeah, that one.

[Carlos]

I wanted you to get that out.

[Andrew]

Oh, yeah, yeah. You should have a joke there, guy.

[Carlos]

Yeah, but. But your dog died.

[Andrew]

Take the hat off.

[Carlos]

I really like, it.

[Andrew]

Mad homo.

[Carlos]

I'm sad that your dog died.

[Andrew]

Yeah. I'm. It's devastating. And also, you know, I.

[Carlos]

You know, I played with my dog a lot when you told me your dog died.

[Andrew]

Really?

[Carlos]

Took her outside and went nuts.

[Andrew]

Yeah.

[Carlos]

Better. Extra treats.

[Fancy]

How old is she?

[Carlos]

She's 8.

[Andrew]

Oh, my God.

[Carlos]

It's a good number, though. She's good.

[Andrew]

She's a good number, but she is eight. Yeah.

[Carlos]

She's not young.

[Andrew]

It's. You know, no one ever told. You know, when you buy. Not five. When you buy. When you. When you get a puppy, you're like. You just go. Oh. But you just don't. You know, I. I had no idea that you could literally bond with it like it's family.

[Carlos]

Yeah, it is.

[Andrew]

And then all of a sudden. Oh, it's like my kid, almost.

[Carlos]

Yeah.

[Andrew]

That kind of connection. Right?

[Carlos]

It's.

[Andrew]

It sucks.

[Carlos]

It sucks.

[Andrew]

It just sucks, man.

[Carlos]

Well, I think there's millions of people that. That are. Oh, well, the fans who have that experience, they know it sucks. But we'll. Good memories. Good memories.

[Andrew]

Can I get some towels cleaned?

[Fancy]

Oh, my God. I will.

[Carlos]

When was the last time you did laundry, Mama?

[Fancy]

Our mom did laundry two days ago.

[Andrew]

But no towels.

[Carlos]

No towels.

[Fancy]

I'll do it tonight.

[Carlos]

Will you?

[Fancy]

I will. I will.

[Carlos]

Does that sound real?

[Andrew]

Who.

[Carlos]

What happens? Do you. You wash? You fold?

[Fancy]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Carlos]

Just like the old days.

[Andrew]

I've never. Can I guess. Can I be honest with you? And this is not a joke, right? I've never. I've never seen them do.

[Fancy]

Oh, my gosh.

[Andrew]

This is not a joke.

[Carlos]

You've never seen them do laundry?

[Andrew]

I've never seen them do anything.

[Carlos]

Well, the mom does.

[Andrew]

Except lay down and watch, you know? I mean, hbo, right? Oh, yeah.

[Fancy]

You're always in your room, so how could you never see us?

[Andrew]

What?

[Fancy]

You're always in your room.

[Andrew]

Yeah.

[Fancy]

So how could you see us?

[Andrew]

Guess what, guy. I'm like Daredevil, okay? I have seven senses.

[Carlos]

He knows I have touch.

[Andrew]

Right, right, right, Carlos, right? I have touch. I have vision, right? But I also have hearing abilities, right? And I know what a fucking. You know what I mean washer sounds like when it goes off? And a dryer, what does it sound like? So when I'm in my room, my other senses don't receive that. Those sounds, the frequencies. Those frequencies. Okay. I'm Daredevil.

[Carlos]

Yeah.

[Andrew]

Okay? I have hypersonic. You know what I mean? I'm like a bat. The echo. No dryer.

[Carlos]

No dryer.

[Andrew]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Fancy]

Okay. I'll wash Tonight.

[Andrew]

Okay. My senses better feel it. My senses better feel it. Okay. I'll fold it nicely, too, like your mom does.

[Fancy]

I will.

[Andrew]

Do you know how to do it in the circular fashion

[Carlos]

on your bed, like a hotel?

[Andrew]

No, it's kind of like that, though. It's like a circular. Like, I don't know where they learn. It's great. Maybe from the islands or something, but it's a beautiful way of doing it.

[Carlos]

Well, when they. On the boat ride over.

[Andrew]

Yeah, yeah. Because if you fold it standard, like, just fold it like a. You know what I mean? Square. No, no, no, no. Right. I want circular perfectly in the, you know, thing.

[Fancy]

I'll ask my mom. We'll call her.

[Carlos]

My favorite is Issa using the fan. Like she. Like. Like it is outside, and she's in the middle of a hot summer day in Mexico.

[Andrew]

She's getting into it.

[Carlos]

Yeah. No, I love that.

[Andrew]

Yeah.

[Carlos]

Get in character and then we.

[Andrew]

Another thing is, we. I showed them the movie. What movie did I show you?

[Fancy]

The Edge of Tomorrow.

[Andrew]

Yeah. Pretty good movie.

[Carlos]

That's a great movie. You guys watch that together?

[Fancy]

Mm.

[Andrew]

You see it?

[Carlos]

I watched.

[Andrew]

Have you ever seen that movie?

[Carlos]

Yeah, years ago.

[Andrew]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Carlos]

I watched the George Clooney movie this past weekend with my parents where he's an actor. He's himself. He plays himself Sandler in it. Yeah.

[Andrew]

Oh, yeah.

[Carlos]

He's his manager.

[Andrew]

Good.

[Carlos]

J. Kelly.

[Andrew]

Good. Yeah. Okay.

[Carlos]

Yeah, I was. Okay. I don't. It's hard. It's just Clooney being Clooney. It's like, literally him playing. It's like a narrative is real life. And it just made me think how. How good it's got to be to be Clooney. What's that? Oh. What's that? Someone here? Is there a delivery? I tell you, we have another delivery. Another. Another birthday gift for you.

[Andrew]

Another car?

[Carlos]

No, look.

[Fancy]

Oh. Oh, yeah.

[Carlos]

Taco Bell.

[Andrew]

Yay.

[Fancy]

I got your Taco Bell.

[Carlos]

Andres, what's the order that you gave him?

[Fancy]

I got beef, potato, griller, chicken, bacon, chalupa, large fries, another large fries. But I already ate the fries, so thank you.

[Carlos]

You ate both of the fries?

[Fancy]

Yeah.

[Carlos]

Smart.

[Fancy]

Yeah.

[Andrew]

That's the best part.

[Carlos]

Have you ever had Taco Bell?

[Andrew]

Not really. It's not Spanish.

[Carlos]

It's not.

[Andrew]

What is it?

[Carlos]

How is it not Spanish?

[Andrew]

How is it not Spanish? Taco.

[Carlos]

Taco and bell.

[Andrew]

And. Yeah. There's so many bells in Spain, dude.

[Carlos]

It's a. It's a whole country.

[Andrew]

That's what it was invented, I think.

[Carlos]

Yeah.

[Andrew]

The bell.

[Carlos]

Take a Bite.

[Andrew]

Yeah, Take a bite.

[Carlos]

Take a bite.

[Andrew]

Yeah.

[Carlos]

So disrespectful. She went out of her way to buy it.

[Andrew]

Yeah.

[Carlos]

Take a bite and give us an honest.

[Andrew]

Is that a gordita?

[Carlos]

No, this is a chicken bacon. What did you get?

[Fancy]

Chalupa.

[Carlos]

Chicken bacon.

[Andrew]

Chalupa.

[Carlos]

Yeah.

[Andrew]

Yeah.

[Carlos]

Take a bite and. Let's see.

[Andrew]

Yeah. Yeah. It's crunch time at work and you

[Carlos]

need to bring wings to your workday. Visit redbull.com gettingitdone and answer a couple questions about your work style to get a Spotify customized playlist tuned to your productivity. Plus, score a can of Red Bull

[Andrew]

on us while you go from to do to done.

[Carlos]

And remember, Red Bull gives you wings. Supplies are limited. Terms apply. Visit the website for more information.

[Andrew]

Don't chew on that, Max. Cooper loves that shoe too.

[Carlos]

Oh, now he's into Cooper's food. Wow. He is loving it. What do you feed Cooper?

[Andrew]

Blue Buffalo Life protection formula. He never leaves a crumble. I love it because it's made with high quality protein, nutrient rich fruits and veggies and wholesome whole grains. Looks like we're switching to blue Blue Buffalo foods are made with the superior

[Carlos]

ingredients your dog needs to thrive.

[Fancy]

Can your dog food say that?

[Andrew]

Visit feedbluefood.com to learn more. Going outside is so in during Spring Fest at Lowes. For a limited time, get extra big deals on select Holland pavers. Three for $1 plus save $70 on the char broil performance four burner grill now $179. And chef up shareables for your whole crew. Picture perfect patios and good food.

[Carlos]

Yes, please.

[Andrew]

Our best lineup is here at Lowe's, valid through 3:30 while supplies last election varies by location. Paver offer excludes Alaska and Hawaii. Good, right?

[Carlos]

You like it?

[Andrew]

It's like the homeland.

[Carlos]

No? You don't like it? Well, give it to McCone. He'll eat it. You know, he'll eat anything.

[Andrew]

Yeah.

[Carlos]

What does chalupa mean? Fried tortilla. The shape of a boat with a spicy feeling. But it's made up.

[Andrew]

It's a taco.

[Carlos]

It says right there in Spain and Latin America, it's a small light boat or canoe.

[Andrew]

Isn't that what a taco is? A little light boat?

[Carlos]

A little baby boat?

[Andrew]

Yeah, yeah.

[Carlos]

But a chalupa is a thicker boat. A thicker boat.

[Andrew]

It's a thicker boat.

[Carlos]

It's a fried boat.

[Andrew]

It's fried. I see, I see, I see.

[Carlos]

A fried boat. Like you were on a chalupa at sea.

[Andrew]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, I had two chalupas on my face,

[Carlos]

couple of tortas. Some tortas. Yeah, yeah, yeah. No, it means little boat or canoe. How do you not know that? Chalupas. Look on the horizon. Achalopa. That's what they would say. A little tiny boat.

[Andrew]

Also what I've been doing with for these girls is I set up the VR sandbox. Yeah, yeah. Did we talk about that already?

[Carlos]

What's the VR sandbox?

[Andrew]

Get with the program guy.

[Carlos]

What is it? I don't know what it is.

[Andrew]

Yeah, yeah.

[Carlos]

Google me. VR sandbox. These guys don't know sandbox. VR. Oh, that's where you guys went and fought shoot zombies. I saw that video.

[Andrew]

Yeah, yeah.

[Carlos]

Is that amazing? Where'd you guys do that at?

[Andrew]

We did that on La Sienna. Like more Century City. Yeah, that's us.

[Carlos]

Your position looks good.

[Andrew]

Yeah, my position. Great. Look. Yeah, look at my position.

[Carlos]

You know what the funny thing is? He even puts a gun down like a soldier. So he doesn't shoot friendly.

[Fancy]

Reload.

[Carlos]

He even knows he knows his own.

[Andrew]

That's how you reload.

[Carlos]

Reload.

[Andrew]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, reload. You reload.

[Carlos]

You're reloading a lot there. You're shooting a lot.

[Andrew]

The two girls, the girl I'm seeing and us. And you know who got number one?

[Fancy]

You cheated. You cheated. You bought the laser gun so obviously you'd win.

[Andrew]

It's all teenagers. And then this 54 year old.

[Fancy]

Yeah, yeah, with a laser gun.

[Carlos]

Wait, so you got the upgrade and they didn't get it? Give me all the.

[Andrew]

There's two things going on here that made me mad. Okay, okay, yes. Let's. Let's do two things. Okay?

[Carlos]

Things.

[Andrew]

Yeah, I cheated.

[Carlos]

Yeah, okay.

[Andrew]

I cheated. I. I bought the laser gun.

[Carlos]

Could. Did you guys have access to the laser gun?

[Andrew]

No, I mean the girl, I'm saying, got the laser guns and she still

[Carlos]

couldn't win with a laser gun.

[Andrew]

She took second.

[Carlos]

Okay, wait, what was the upgrade? You had to pay for the laser.

[Andrew]

Yeah. And they only gave you two upgrades. I get you. You're only allowed to have two laser guns, right? So I go, what do you want? I guess I'll take the handgun.

[Carlos]

Yeah. Spraying everywhere. No wonder why. Look at. Play the video. Look at his stance.

[Andrew]

Yeah, yeah.

[Carlos]

He's got the kids going in.

[Andrew]

Yeah, yeah.

[Carlos]

On the left. On the right. Yeah, left on the right.

[Andrew]

Yeah, yeah.

[Carlos]

You guys screaming, bumping into each other, screaming. Funniest part. That's the funniest screaming.

[Fancy]

It was only her, by the way.

[Andrew]

Yeah, yeah. And then let's Address the second thing. 1:54 year old. Do you think I forgot? You don't think I forgot that comment? A 54 year old?

[Carlos]

Yeah.

[Andrew]

Oh, you know what, dude? I'm a child, okay? I. I play whimsical games.

[Carlos]

You do? You have a. Yeah, yeah. You like that?

[Andrew]

What did we do yesterday that I set up? Escape room.

[Carlos]

Why do you like those?

[Fancy]

It was very fun.

[Andrew]

It was fun.

[Carlos]

Such a white person thing.

[Andrew]

I know, but I set things up. You mean I'm. I'm a guy that plans. Did you escape? Yeah, we did escape.

[Carlos]

Yeah, we did figure out the escape.

[Andrew]

What?

[Carlos]

Who figured out the escape?

[Andrew]

The people that worked there. It's like hand, hand, hand, hand.

[Carlos]

Yeah, right.

[Andrew]

We didn't do.

[Carlos]

They told you.

[Andrew]

Oh, yeah.

[Carlos]

Nobody.

[Fancy]

The Bobby wasn't the team leader. Yeah, actually we did a lot. And then the only thing you were doing was like. I think we got to take a hint.

[Andrew]

Yeah. Who took the. Stop. Who took the wire?

[Fancy]

Well, I opened.

[Carlos]

Who took the wire with the hook?

[Andrew]

Who took the wire in the hook, put it in the hole and got the key out of contraption.

[Fancy]

But you were screaming. Yeah, okay, okay.

[Andrew]

Who did that?

[Fancy]

You.

[Andrew]

That was complex.

[Carlos]

Okay?

[Fancy]

You were getting angry. You were so angry. You were screaming at her. Screaming at who, girl?

[Andrew]

Yeah, my date.

[Fancy]

Yeah, your date.

[Andrew]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Fancy]

You were so angry at her.

[Andrew]

Yeah, because she wasn't doing it right.

[Carlos]

She.

[Andrew]

It's one of those. It's one of those things. Why you smiling?

[Carlos]

I'm listening.

[Andrew]

All right, so basically what. What this situation is, is this. Okay, it's like a gigantic fish. Kind of like a fish bowl. No, like. Yeah, bowl. Gigantic one with levels to it.

[Carlos]

Right.

[Andrew]

It's like a fiberglass with little tiny holes in it. Right on the bottom is a key. Right? You stick a. All right, you stick the. The. The little, you know, I mean, metal thing with a hook on it inside the tiny hole, and then there's another hole. She has a stick. All right. She has a stick as well. Right? I got it. You got to bring your. Bring your stick over to hook mine so then I can stick it out and stick it in the other hole so we can bring it up so we can get it out of the bigger hole on top.

[Carlos]

Got it, Right. Yeah.

[Andrew]

That's all I was doing.

[Carlos]

And she couldn't do that.

[Andrew]

We eventually did it. Okay.

[Carlos]

We eventually did a fight about it.

[Andrew]

It's not a fight about it. I go, you're not doing it right.

[Carlos]

No. That sounds like a fight.

[Andrew]

That. No, that's just me being a Leader.

[Carlos]

Did she get upset? It's me being Pete Hegseth your head.

[Andrew]

Yeah, yeah. I'm warning it out. You know what I mean? You got to be a commander her.

[Carlos]

You gotta.

[Andrew]

Yeah. Yeah. Anyway, we did get out. Yeah, we got out on time.

[Fancy]

Yeah, on time.

[Andrew]

Yeah.

[Carlos]

Speaking of touring comedians, this guy big tour coming up. Announced the finally tour and then. I'm done.

[Andrew]

I'm done.

[Carlos]

You're done? What T. You're done? What?

[Andrew]

Done.

[Carlos]

Done. Stand up for a while. I stink. That smells like.

[Andrew]

Yeah, you stink too.

[Carlos]

No, you stink.

[Andrew]

Okay. Okay.

[Carlos]

Let me smell your armpits. No, but it looks awesome. You're going to. This is your first time doing theater tour? I wanted to.

[Andrew]

I never done a theater tour.

[Carlos]

Huh?

[Andrew]

I never done one before.

[Carlos]

Well, I wanted to announce that I think it's an important moment in comedy because most times you've never done a theater tour. It's a. It's a amazing.

[Andrew]

It's my first one.

[Carlos]

It's incredible. So I think it's so cool, dude.

[Andrew]

Yeah. Yeah. Thank you.

[Carlos]

What are you guys excited about?

[Andrew]

Yeah.

[Fancy]

Coachella.

[Andrew]

No.

[Carlos]

You're going to go. Are you? You're not going?

[Fancy]

The Bob is going with us.

[Carlos]

We're going to go to Coachella.

[Andrew]

I had to buy them.

[Carlos]

That is. You haven't bought it yet.

[Fancy]

Yet.

[Andrew]

I haven't bought it yet. No.

[Carlos]

We have a big bill.

[Andrew]

I know it's expensive.

[Carlos]

What is. How much is Coachella to go to? I don't know anything about it. This guy do Google. What is a regular Coachella ticket cost right now?

[Andrew]

Well, right now? Yeah.

[Carlos]

What is that? What do you already know?

[Andrew]

Yeah. Cuz they're at a th000 right now

[Carlos]

for thousand dollars a person to go to coachella.

[Andrew]

Normally they're 500, I believe.

[Fancy]

Yeah.

[Carlos]

Holy. That's just a regular admission ticket. I went the third year it existed.

[Andrew]

If you and I went. Just you and I went. It'd be free.

[Fancy]

Really?

[Andrew]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Just you and I. But you didn't want to go with just you and I. Yeah, but you

[Fancy]

said you get it for me for my birthday.

[Carlos]

Happy birthday.

[Andrew]

Happy birthday. Yeah. Yeah.

[Carlos]

Who's the headliners this year?

[Andrew]

I don't know.

[Fancy]

I don't give a. Sabrina. Justin Bieber.

[Carlos]

Sabrina Carpenter.

[Andrew]

He's opening up a Tesla at the Tesla.

[Carlos]

Happy birthday.

[Andrew]

Happy birthday, dude. Yeah.

[Carlos]

Okay. So wait a minute. Which weekend are you going? Isn't.

[Andrew]

I'm sorry, are you Justin Bieber? He's one weekend too.

[Carlos]

So this is the second weekend. So you guys are going to See Sabrina Carpenter, Justin Bieber, and who's Carol G? Am I out? Am I gone? Am I stupid? I don't know who that is. The Strokes and Interpol. Carol G is bigger than Young Thug. Yes. Who's Carol G?

[Fancy]

She's like a Latina artist.

[Carlos]

Why are they putting all these Latino people all over our lives?

[Andrew]

Do we.

[Carlos]

Is she playing the super bowl next year?

[Fancy]

She's really good.

[Andrew]

Carol G. Do I get Interpol and Stroke Strokes? Yeah. You? Yeah, because we know. We know Paul from, you know, Love. Yeah, yeah.

[Carlos]

He's like one of the Cool.

[Andrew]

And I love the Strokes, so, I mean, that'll be good for me.

[Carlos]

Zoom in. What does it feel like to be on the second night there after Bieber? Go zoom into the second night there. What does that feel like to be Yamaguchi last on the list? That would be Bad Friends. If we headline something.

[Andrew]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Carlos]

We'd be after Mahmut Orban.

[Andrew]

Yeah.

[Carlos]

And Reardon.

[Andrew]

Yeah, yeah.

[Carlos]

D Spitz and what A. More Gen C. Bad Friends And Yamaguchi.

[Andrew]

This is Yamaguchi.

[Carlos]

Are you still coming?

[Andrew]

I don't know why you put me last.

[Carlos]

No, no, no, you're first.

[Andrew]

No, no, no.

[Carlos]

Because in your country, don't you read backwards?

[Andrew]

Right to left, but still, in our country, if the last name is the last, you know, it should go. You should go. Justin Bieber and then Yamaguchi.

[Carlos]

I don't know. We'll work on it.

[Andrew]

Okay.

[Ali Jackson]

That's crazy.

[Andrew]

That's crazy.

[Carlos]

David Byrne. This is really good. Somber. There's some really great stuff. Yeah. Royal Otis.

[Fancy]

Love.

[Carlos]

You guys are gonna have such a fun time. I'm so happy. I won't be there.

[Andrew]

Yeah, when is it?

[Carlos]

April 11th, 17th.

[Andrew]

March. April, March, April, April. Yeah. Next month. The 17th through the 19th.

[Carlos]

Tomorrow. Oh, my God, I'm so excited for you guys.

[Fancy]

You have to come.

[Carlos]

That's awesome. You gotta go. Go.

[Fancy]

We want. But we want you to go.

[Andrew]

Why?

[Carlos]

Because it's a long drive. It's an absolute nightmare.

[Andrew]

It's a nightmare.

[Carlos]

Yeah. I would never. I'd remember that one.

[Andrew]

Dude. That one year. Do you remember that one year?

[Carlos]

So funny.

[Andrew]

I know we talked about it before

[Carlos]

you guys got stuck for like five hours.

[Andrew]

No, no, no, that's what that. What it was. Was. Is that I can. I said tell the story again.

[Carlos]

Oh, I remember.

[Andrew]

What is it?

[Carlos]

Yeah, you. You. You call. You.

[Andrew]

So I, yeah, called. I called my agents and I go, you know, Kalila and the girls want to go to. Right?

[Carlos]

Yeah.

[Andrew]

And they're like, yo, I pay for it. Right? Which was, by the way, ungrateful. You guys are. Do the towels tonight. You do the towels tonight. All right. You want to go to a. The desert towels tonight, dude? All of them folded in a circular fashion. Fashion. Okay. So anyway, my agent goes, yeah, all right. And you know I pay for it. Right. And the day of Kalanica, you literally have to be there to pick up the tickets at the box office. And I go. I have to drive four hours into the desert and then drive back.

[Carlos]

You do.

[Andrew]

And then she's like, yeah, and I did that.

[Carlos]

And you found out when you got there that you didn't have to do that.

[Andrew]

Yes.

[Carlos]

Maybe the. Maybe the best part about all of it, you didn't actually.

[Andrew]

I didn't have to actually have to do that.

[Carlos]

But you should go to this because you can have a blast them and by.

[Andrew]

Yeah.

[Carlos]

I've never go see some great bands. Interpol is going to rip. I mean, think of how many big thing. There's a lot of bands there that you definitely want to see.

[Andrew]

Moby. Okay. Okay, so here's the thing. This is the. This is gonna be the first and last time I go to coach. Yeah. Okay.

[Carlos]

You already went.

[Andrew]

I've never been. Yeah, I went to pick up the tickets and I drove back. Yeah. Yeah. I'm gonna go inside. Yeah, yeah. I'm telling you right now, I don't care if next year Harry Styles is going to be there. I don't give a. I ain't going.

[Carlos]

No.

[Andrew]

All right, so are you sure this is the year you want to go? Yeah, for that weekend with Justin Bieber.

[Carlos]

I know you're gonna love Justin Bieber. You're gonna have so much fun.

[Andrew]

He's not gonna. I'm not gonna see Justin Bieber.

[Carlos]

What do you mean you're gonna. He's on the main stage.

[Andrew]

I know, but I'm not gonna, like, physically be around him.

[Carlos]

No, but you're gonna be dancing your little heart out to just.

[Andrew]

I don't know any of them. Sing me a song, baby, baby oh, yeah. I will be, I will be, I will be, I will be, I will be, I will be.

[Carlos]

And then the other one I like is if you.

[Andrew]

No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. Y

[Carlos]

love yourself. My mama don't like you and she likes everyone. You're going to love it. There's. Dude, you're going to have so much fun. It's like the boat you thought you didn't like the boat you got on the Boat. You had so much fun on the boat.

[Andrew]

You told me I wasn't going to like the boat.

[Carlos]

I don't like the boat.

[Andrew]

I know, but you told me that I was going to have a bad time on the boat. You're projecting.

[Carlos]

Yeah. Cuz I don't want to.

[Andrew]

Can I pitch you the Bad Friends boat ride?

[Carlos]

Yeah, pitch it. Okay, I'm not going to catch it, but pitch it.

[Andrew]

Okay. You're going to be on a boat.

[Carlos]

What is it?

[Andrew]

Okay, so we'll all be there. The girls too, right?

[Carlos]

Okay.

[Andrew]

Right. We're on a boat. Okay.

[Carlos]

On a boat.

[Andrew]

And all of her friends are gonna be there.

[Carlos]

All the fans are gonna be there.

[Andrew]

Yep. Okay.

[Carlos]

I'm already, Marty shaking pretty good.

[Andrew]

Right?

[Carlos]

I'm shaking.

[Andrew]

I think my proposal is good so far. Right. Okay, here's the thing.

[Carlos]

All of our fans are gonna be there on a boat.

[Andrew]

On a boat. Yeah. All right. You and I will perform. We'll just do two shows. Shows in the main stage.

[Carlos]

One show, one night. One show the other night.

[Andrew]

If it's. If the, if the boat is Sunday through Thursday, we'll do. We'll do a Monday night show and a Wednesday night show.

[Carlos]

Is that what they usually are? Sunday to Thursday?

[Andrew]

Yeah, I mean, that's what we did.

[Carlos]

Okay.

[Andrew]

Although when we landed, we saw Chelsea

[Carlos]

Lynn getting on the boat.

[Andrew]

Yeah. They're like, ours are next.

[Carlos]

Oh, they were doing a boat.

[Andrew]

The same boat that we were on.

[Carlos]

Oh, why? They just.

[Andrew]

They clean it so fast.

[Carlos]

Flip these boats.

[Andrew]

They flip them. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Carlos]

I have a better proposal.

[Andrew]

No, no, I'm not done with my proposal.

[Carlos]

We take. How about this?

[Andrew]

Okay.

[Carlos]

We take a flight.

[Andrew]

Yeah.

[Carlos]

From LA to San Francisco.

[Andrew]

Yeah.

[Carlos]

Our fans can buy tickets on that plane. We'll do a little stand up. It'll be a 45 minute flight. We'll get off and that'll be it.

[Andrew]

No, okay, okay.

[Carlos]

Bad friends air flight.

[Andrew]

Okay. So. And then we get to control the lineups.

[Carlos]

Okay.

[Andrew]

So we'll call our friends in. Hey, Gillis.

[Carlos]

Hey.

[Andrew]

You won't do it.

[Carlos]

Yeah. Shane Gillis already. No, no, we'll call Shane Gillis. You know what, you're right. I'll call Sandler. Ke Kevin Hart.

[Andrew]

Yeah, yeah.

[Carlos]

Guys, Bill Burr.

[Andrew]

Bill Burr. Yeah.

[Carlos]

Louie and I'll go, guys, we gotta do a boat thing.

[Andrew]

Yeah, yeah.

[Carlos]

I get nervous on those things.

[Andrew]

I know, but it's a once in a lifetime opportunity to really see your fans.

[Carlos]

I believe in multiple lives, so I do.

[Andrew]

I'll do. And also there's gambling.

[Carlos]

I do Love gambling.

[Andrew]

Yeah. So there was a. There's a casino, right. And I was playing blackjack all night long. It was so.

[Carlos]

So I do love that. But is it real money or is it.

[Andrew]

No, it's real money.

[Carlos]

So you're actually losing money.

[Andrew]

You're losing money on the. Yeah, I lost about three grand.

[Carlos]

Okay.

[Andrew]

Yeah. Yeah. But.

[Carlos]

Notable incidents of boat rides. 2025, Carnival Horizon. Had somebody kill another man. Man over board on the Morella Explorer. So November twice and August, passengers drowned. Carnival's new celebration. Key Resort in the Bahamas. All 2025 passenger died aboard the Carnival dream. This feels like a lot.

[Andrew]

These are old people.

[Carlos]

No, I would hope so.

[Andrew]

Yeah, yeah.

[Carlos]

But I don't know. What if our fans are old? By the way, we want our fans to come on this boat, but you have to be over 65 to.

[Andrew]

Yeah, yeah.

[Carlos]

The shows are at 3:30pm yeah.

[Andrew]

I'll tell you the negatives, though.

[Carlos]

You'll tell me the negatives of what? I'll tell you the negatives.

[Andrew]

You tell me the negatives.

[Carlos]

First boat.

[Andrew]

Okay. Okay. All right, that's good. That's a good negative.

[Carlos]

Okay, that's a really good negative. Boat at sea trap. Nowhere to go, breaks out. Sick. Something breaks. How do we get off this thing? Middle of the ocean.

[Andrew]

Okay, Pirates. What did I just say?

[Carlos]

I love juice.

[Andrew]

Oh, yeah.

[Carlos]

Yeah. What? What? What is it? What are the negatives? Give me the list of the negatives because I already feel them. I'm scared.

[Andrew]

It's the food.

[Carlos]

The food's terrible.

[Andrew]

It's not good.

[Carlos]

Yeah. It's cooked.

[Andrew]

Yeah.

[Carlos]

What? It's cooked. On a boat?

[Andrew]

Even. Like. Even the fancy Italian restaurant you make up there, make a reservation. It's. It's off Garden. You know what I mean? It's not good. You know what I mean? And then the Teppanyaka, you know what I mean?

[Carlos]

The teppanyaki wasn't good.

[Andrew]

No.

[Carlos]

Blown away.

[Andrew]

Yeah, yeah.

[Carlos]

The boat teppanyaki wasn't good.

[Andrew]

And then there's this thing where it's a 24 hour freeze. Just, you know, everyone's there. A buffet buffet, Right.

[Carlos]

And those are my favorite.

[Andrew]

Is terrible.

[Carlos]

It's bad.

[Andrew]

Oh, my God, it is bad.

[Carlos]

Well, you're not pitching it well to our fans.

[Andrew]

No, those are the bad. Those are the bad aspects.

[Carlos]

Oh, so they can. Okay, yeah.

[Andrew]

Good as a great spa.

[Carlos]

Wonderful spa.

[Andrew]

Great spa. Great. That. The pool, right? Pool's great. Pool fun. Yeah, Right.

[Carlos]

I have a pool. You have a pool.

[Andrew]

I have a pool, too. Yeah, yeah.

[Carlos]

Just go to Your pool.

[Andrew]

Yeah, yeah. You go to your pool. But here's another thing I would like. Another thing that I would like to pitch to you. Okay. It's a. It's connective tissue. It's.

[Carlos]

I'm listening, I'm listening.

[Andrew]

Yeah. It's. It's people that love you. Right. Our fans and us connecting in a way. Right. It's a very special experience for our biggest fan because only our biggest fans will be on the bone.

[Carlos]

So you're saying. Because I will say this, all joking aside, I. We adore the fans. We appreciate them so much. I love the fans. I love seeing them. I love it a lot.

[Andrew]

Yeah.

[Carlos]

But you're saying the way to really get close to the fans is to make them pay to come on a boat to see us.

[Andrew]

It's not just to pay to get on the boat.

[Carlos]

Oh, so it's free.

[Andrew]

No, it's. You have to pay. Okay. Okay. You have to pay. It's them being with us on the boat. Yeah.

[Carlos]

So it's like after a show. It's like going out and sitting in the middle of the audience after the show.

[Andrew]

Show. But it's wavy. It's wavy, too. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Carlos]

I'm going to be honest and say this because I love.

[Andrew]

Let's do a vote, Carlos. Do it online. Whatever. We can do it. Yeah. If people would. If. If they would come. Let's just see how many people would come. Okay.

[Carlos]

You know what this is like?

[Andrew]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Carlos]

You know when. Like when a buddy does coke and somebody does coke and they come up with like a hair brain business scheme and they're like, you. You're. It's going to be amazing. And they pitch it to when they're sober and you're like, I don't know if you should do that chicken shop laundromat you were thinking of.

[Andrew]

Yeah. But sometimes YouTube.

[Carlos]

Sometimes.

[Andrew]

Yeah, yeah. That Chinese guy and that other guy. Right. Hey, what do you think of this thing where everyone.

[Carlos]

Because every comic I know who's been on these cruises, Schwartz and included.

[Andrew]

Yeah.

[Carlos]

Just did the exact same thing.

[Andrew]

Yeah. What?

[Carlos]

I want to do a cruise. We should do a group. Schwartz and said the exact same thing.

[Andrew]

I know.

[Carlos]

He was like, I want to do a Swartzen cruise.

[Andrew]

Yeah.

[Carlos]

And every other person that's done him and goes, I want to do. I want to do my own cruise.

[Andrew]

Yeah.

[Carlos]

So everyone gets this bug.

[Andrew]

Yeah. Because we did it and we had fun.

[Carlos]

I know.

[Andrew]

You don't know anything about it. That's why I think you should do

[Carlos]

It I'm not fond of.

[Andrew]

Here we go. That's the truth, right, ladies? Who's funner? Tito, Bobby or Tito? Andrew.

[Carlos]

Yeah.

[Andrew]

Yeah.

[Carlos]

You're fun.

[Andrew]

Yeah.

[Carlos]

So do a Bobby Lee cruise and I'll wave from the shore. And there's Andrew right on the side. Okay, I'll get on the boat with you.

[Andrew]

No, you won't. There's no way. That was the thing that we talked about on the boat. Me and, like, imagine Andrew here right now.

[Carlos]

Why wouldn't I do it? Yeah, I'd rather do a show on land for the fans.

[Andrew]

Okay, good. It's different. It's a different thing. But anyway, let's move on.

[Carlos]

From a boat.

[Andrew]

Yeah, yeah.

[Carlos]

And you're trapped.

[Andrew]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Carlos]

And if.

[Andrew]

Would you guys do it? Yeah. That'd be fun, right?

[Carlos]

Fancy. Would not want to do it. Carlos would do it.

[Andrew]

Oh, yeah, Carlos.

[Carlos]

Carlos and McComb would do it.

[Andrew]

Yeah.

[Carlos]

Because they could be little bad boys. Roam around looking for girls.

[Andrew]

Gets every std. Imagine.

[Carlos]

Oh, my God.

[Andrew]

Yeah, he's fucking a mermaid. How'd you get a mermaid and a siren?

[Carlos]

How about this? If the boat doesn't go far, I could do it.

[Andrew]

Yeah, it didn't go far.

[Carlos]

No. I'll do one here to Catalina. How about that? I'll do a Catalina boat tour.

[Andrew]

Ferry.

[Carlos]

A ferry.

[Andrew]

You wanna do a ferry?

[Carlos]

I'll do a ferry.

[Andrew]

We'll do a ferry. Rowboat. We can rowboat. Yeah, we can rowboat.

[Carlos]

Sailboat. Sail with us.

[Andrew]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Come sail away. Come sail away. Come sail away with me.

[Carlos]

And then you have to raise the bow.

[Andrew]

Okay.

[Carlos]

No, I just have a legitimate fear of.

[Andrew]

Or we could do, like the ending of Titanic where I'm just on a. You're on top. Right on the wood and I'm about to die and I'm just. Let's just do that anyway.

[Carlos]

You can find a more clever way to get our fans together. I am down.

[Andrew]

Okay.

[Carlos]

Not a boat. But I would be. I would love to interact with the fans, just not on a boat.

[Andrew]

What do you guys win on the. Want to interact with the fans?

[Carlos]

Do you want a Bad Friends boat

[Andrew]

tour that be show up to dude?

[Fancy]

Yeah, I will.

[Carlos]

How about this? How about we get you two on a boat all the way back to the Philippines.

[Andrew]

Yes, one way, but that's it. Yeah, we fly back.

[Carlos]

Yeah, we fly back.

[Andrew]

Yeah, yeah.

[Carlos]

We send you and then we fly back.

[Andrew]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Carlos]

Now I. We. We could. You could convince me this is no way, that. There is ways. There is ways to Do a boat. Do. You could convince me if it was. If it was. If it was a short trip and it was. Yeah, you could convince me.

[Andrew]

Okay. What's the shortest trip that we could do, Carlos? Well, going to the Philippines.

[Carlos]

Sailing to the Philippines takes four to eight weeks or more. It's gonna be pretty tough. That one. That one's gonna.

[Andrew]

Imagine. Imagine Andrew's just in his cabin

[Carlos]

and they can't get me off the hook because I'm swinging.

[Andrew]

Yeah, I'm at Imagine.

[Carlos]

Okay, wait, let me say something.

[Andrew]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Carlos]

I would. I would shoot a tv. A reality TV show of you and I and them taking a boat to the Philippines. That I would do. That would be hilarious. We'd have to live on the boat. For how long?

[Andrew]

Four to eight weeks.

[Carlos]

I could do that for four weeks.

[Andrew]

Just us four.

[Carlos]

You have to speed. Well, it'd be with other people. We'd be going to the Philippines. It'd be a lot of, like. Everyone's going to the Philippines.

[Andrew]

I know, but, like, our fans, too, can buy tickets.

[Carlos]

Why put the fans in the tickets? It's just for us. For us to take. Go to the Philippines.

[Andrew]

I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I have a connection with my fan base.

[Carlos]

Stop it.

[Andrew]

I'm sorry that I'm grateful for their. Their love.

[Carlos]

This is good. Turn up the gas.

[Andrew]

All right.

[Carlos]

This is good.

[Andrew]

I'm grateful. I'm grateful to them. You know? Some people aren't. Some people are watching. Some people are. That's what they're doing it for. Am I not right?

[Carlos]

Yeah.

[Andrew]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Carlos]

That's the reason I do it.

[Andrew]

Don't get angry. Are you angry?

[Carlos]

No.

[Andrew]

No. Look at me. Right? Are you angry?

[Carlos]

I'm too tired to be angry.

[Andrew]

Okay, good. You tired, bud?

[Carlos]

I'm so tired.

[Andrew]

Why?

[Carlos]

I was with my parents for two weeks straight.

[Andrew]

Oh, that's right. How are they?

[Carlos]

I don't know.

[Andrew]

Okay.

[Carlos]

That was great. We spent time in Arizona and we did that whole thing. Then I brought him back here to la. The problem is, when people come into town, you have to do things all the time. There isn't a day that's off.

[Andrew]

I bet you all your hard work with your parents that they're grateful.

[Carlos]

Yeah, they are.

[Andrew]

I bet at night they think to themselves, what a great son that we have.

[Carlos]

I hope so.

[Andrew]

Yeah. And we're grateful for his effort.

[Carlos]

I hope so.

[Andrew]

Yeah. We love him for him playing ahead. Right. And all the things that our son does for us. And we're willing to do anything to make our son happy.

[Carlos]

And then the very next day, they called because they couldn't log into Apple tv. And we yelled at each other on the phone for 15 minutes.

[Andrew]

Yeah, exactly.

[Carlos]

He's like, why can't I type my name in the goddamn Apple tv?

[Andrew]

Is that what your dad did?

[Carlos]

Yeah. And then I had to. I had to facetime with my mom so I could watch what he was typing, and he incorrectly put the password in three times. Instead of just doing backspace, he cleared it every time, so he had to redo it every time.

[Andrew]

Wow.

[Carlos]

Lovely people.

[Andrew]

Yeah.

[Carlos]

I love them. So much.

[Andrew]

So.

[Carlos]

You know, but the stress of family is hard.

[Andrew]

It's hard.

[Carlos]

Especially if it's not.

[Andrew]

Is it not hard? Hard? Is the stress of family hard?

[Fancy]

No.

[Andrew]

Yeah.

[Carlos]

Yeah.

[Andrew]

For me it is. It's a weight.

[Fancy]

I'll clean the towels.

[Andrew]

Yeah, that's not what I was saying. That's not what I was saying.

[Fancy]

I'll clean your room.

[Andrew]

You haven't cleaned it yet?

[Fancy]

Not yet.

[Andrew]

I told you to clean it.

[Fancy]

Because we had to go here.

[Carlos]

Yeah. We had to come here.

[Andrew]

Oh, yeah, that's right. Okay.

[Carlos]

Well, we didn't give Fancy any airtime whatsoever.

[Andrew]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Let's talk about Fancy, because can I get. I'll be honest with you, and I swear to God on my mother's life.

[Carlos]

On her left half, because she can hear.

[Andrew]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. My mother's right ear.

[Carlos]

Yeah.

[Andrew]

Okay. Yeah. All right. When I was on the boat, some guy pulled me aside, he goes, you know what makes the show? And I go, me and Andrew. And he goes, no, Fancy.

[Carlos]

He's right.

[Andrew]

He goes. He makes the show. He's the bind. He's the adhesive. Without that, I don't think Carlos or McCone never mentioned their names. No, I, I, I. I swear to God, that's what he said to me. All right. What'd you say? Best middleman.

[Carlos]

Best middleman.

[Andrew]

Best middleman.

[Carlos]

I don't even know he said best middleman.

[Andrew]

Yeah, but I just. Don't say it again.

[Carlos]

Best middleman.

[Andrew]

Don't say it again. Best middle man. Okay, good.

[Carlos]

Do you have anything to say for your birthday? Do you feel good? Do you feel. Yes, I have a speech.

[Andrew]

Okay, go ahead.

[Carlos]

I feel so loved. Thank you for being a bad friend. I sold my car in Carvana last night. Well, that's cool.

[Andrew]

No, you don't understand. It went perfectly. Real offer down to the penny.

[Carlos]

They're picking it up tomorrow.

[Andrew]

Nothing went wrong. So what's the problem? That is the problem. Nothing in my life goes as smoothly. I'm waiting for the catch.

[Fancy]

Maybe there's no catch.

[Andrew]

Catch? That's exactly what a catch would want me to think.

[Carlos]

Wow. You need to relax.

[Andrew]

I need to knock on wood. Do we have. What is this? Table wood?

[Carlos]

I think it's laminate.

[Andrew]

Okay. Yeah, that's good. That's close enough.

[Carlos]

Car selling without a catch. Sell your car today.

[Fancy]

On car pickup fees may apply.