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Andrew Santino
Hey, Bad Friends. I'm doing a bunch of shows. First off, Bobby and I, the Bad Friends live, are going to be at Netflix as a joke fest here in Los angeles at the YouTube Theater down by SoFi. That's May 8th. Get your tickets right now. Then I'll be down in Del Mar at the Sound in San Diego. Bro, surf's up. June 28th, I'm doing two shows early in a late show. And then July 24th, I'm at the Ameristar Casino in St. Charles, Missouri, which might as well be St. Louis, Missouri. Come out and see me. Go to andrewsantino.com for those tickets. Andrewsantino.com hey, everybody.
Bobby Lee
Bobby Lee here. You know, I shot a special and so I'm going to do the finally tour before the special comes out. I want to be in Detroit, 424 Indianapolis, 425, Montclair 5 1, Atlantic City, 5 2. Just go to my website and check out the other day. It's Medford 5 3, San Antonio, 515 and go check it out. It's going to be a theater tour. My first one. And come see me live. Go to bobbylee live.
Andrew Santino
You two are bad friends. Who are these two idiots?
Bobby Lee
White dude. I'm an Asian dude. You two are disgusting. You two or something. We're bad friends.
Andrew Santino
It smells like dog food in here.
Bobby Lee
Yep.
Andrew Santino
Rook rook.
Bobby Lee
Bobby just got here. I just got here. I yelled at the host for putting the mic stand low. You know how they try to get a laugh?
Andrew Santino
Yeah, yeah.
Bobby Lee
Because I'm small.
Andrew Santino
I've done.
Bobby Lee
I do that. I know. And it makes me so angry. But I won't yell at you. But I want. If you ever do that again, I'll rip you. Oh, I've gotten that from you. Yeah, yeah. The low voice. Because it's. Because it's. It's. It's trying to get a laugh. That I'm sure. Right. But it's not my laugh. It's their laugh. You know? I mean, it's the residue laugh. Yeah.
Andrew Santino
Leftover.
Bobby Lee
Yes. Leftover laugh. Well, they're not even on stage. They try to get a laugh. Yeah. And they're in the back going, but I made that mic store look. You know, I bet you Brad gets that Williams.
Andrew Santino
Oh, dude, I do the opposite from when Brad follows me in the store. I put it as high as I can.
Bobby Lee
That's. See, that's the same thing. It's the same thing.
Andrew Santino
But it's funny for you, for all of us.
Bobby Lee
For Brad, it's. For Brad, it's a whole extra thing he has to do.
Andrew Santino
Funny. Dude.
Bobby Lee
For me, it's a. You know, I mean, I have. I get a laugh. Yeah. But then I have to go, I'm small. Do that face. Like, well, God made me. Right. And then Brad has to bring it down.
Andrew Santino
Yeah. It's funny.
Bobby Lee
It's for you, for the person before. But it's not our laugh.
Andrew Santino
All right, you know what? We're not going to do any. No more funny stuff.
Bobby Lee
Yeah.
Andrew Santino
No more comedy.
Bobby Lee
Okay.
Andrew Santino
I think we're done with comedy.
Bobby Lee
Yeah.
Andrew Santino
All weekend long. All weekend long.
Bobby Lee
That's not what I'm saying. What I'm saying is, is.
Andrew Santino
Oh my gosh. Brad left his toothbrush here at the studio.
Bobby Lee
Yeah. And his. And his pen. Another thing is get it off your chest. When like one time I was in the OR and Steve Burn. Halfway during myself grabbed the mic from the side of the stage and walked. Walked up on stage and then goes, let's do a duo. Let's play with a crowd. And that made me so mad.
Andrew Santino
This is very funny. You know, he. At San Francisco, at the last time I just played punch. He showed up and he came on stage at the end of my.
Bobby Lee
Did you ask him to come up or did he just come up on stage?
Andrew Santino
He just came up.
Bobby Lee
No. Are you being real?
Andrew Santino
I'm being serious.
Bobby Lee
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Andrew Santino
But I welcomed it with open arms. I thought.
Bobby Lee
Yeah. I don't welcome with open arm arms.
Andrew Santino
You didn't want it.
Bobby Lee
He's half Korean.
Andrew Santino
Oh. He's not a full.
Bobby Lee
He's that.
Andrew Santino
Yeah. You got to be a fully to pull that kind of stunt. You got.
Bobby Lee
Yeah, yeah. You got to be a fool.
Andrew Santino
I actually totally agree. Yeah.
Bobby Lee
Yeah. It. No, because it's like I'm in the middle of a setup and all of a sudden what's up? Without asking. And it's just like, I don't like that.
Andrew Santino
Also, from a. From a outsider's perspective, it looks like your Korean uncle who's got it together cuz he wears a suit is coming to like.
Bobby Lee
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Andrew Santino
Like talk you down a little bit. Let me do comedy for you.
Bobby Lee
Yeah.
Andrew Santino
Cuz he wear suits.
Bobby Lee
Yeah.
Andrew Santino
And we wear clothes.
Bobby Lee
Yeah. I also don't like this. I just realized. Right.
Andrew Santino
Give it to me. Give me the idol.
Bobby Lee
I'm going to give you the. The feature smile.
Andrew Santino
What is it?
Bobby Lee
So what. What happens is you're. You're backstage. I just played the San Jose improv and Ramsey Badawi had a really good set before me. And so there's A curtain. And he opens it and he has a smile right at you. Yeah. Like he knows he killed. Right? And I go, if you do feature smiles again.
Andrew Santino
No. Feature smiles.
Bobby Lee
No, no, no. I need a frown. I know how well you did. I heard it.
Andrew Santino
I tell my features. No smiling at all. No comedy. I say go up there, say hello.
Bobby Lee
Yeah, yeah.
Andrew Santino
Tell people where you're from.
Bobby Lee
Yeah.
Andrew Santino
Tell them the favorite foods you have.
Bobby Lee
Yeah.
Andrew Santino
And that's it. And then get off.
Bobby Lee
Yeah.
Andrew Santino
Bring up the headliner.
Bobby Lee
And then the last thing I want to. Can I just get off my chest?
Andrew Santino
I love stuff on your chest. Pause.
Bobby Lee
Yeah, yeah. Are you being real?
Andrew Santino
Yeah, I want you to get it off your chest.
Bobby Lee
Okay, so what? I hate needy hosts.
Andrew Santino
Was that good? Funny?
Bobby Lee
No, I had a local, you know, nice girl. She's already. I already brutally, you know, I mean, verbalize it to her.
Andrew Santino
Well then. So should we be talking about it?
Bobby Lee
Yeah. Well, I could just be vague about it.
Andrew Santino
It's going to ruminate feelings again. Then for her. She's going to hear this 100 and be like, that's about me.
Bobby Lee
No. Maybe it's going to teach her a lesson.
Andrew Santino
Teach. Did she bomb?
Bobby Lee
No, she did great.
Andrew Santino
Oh, well then okay.
Bobby Lee
No, she's great. I think she has a future. I do.
Andrew Santino
Okay.
Bobby Lee
Yeah.
Andrew Santino
You're not selling me on it.
Bobby Lee
Yeah, yeah.
Andrew Santino
But can I be a car salesman? She has a future. Well, how is this.
Bobby Lee
Welcome to open mic night lot.
Andrew Santino
What?
Bobby Lee
The open mic night lot.
Andrew Santino
Oh, it's at the lot.
Bobby Lee
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. We have many new. New open up micros here. All new. Yeah, yeah, yeah. We've got. Look at this one. This is a. This one's called Catbird. Really quick, snappy. Yeah. And it's like, you know, it's an engine that grows. Yeah, yeah. You know, I mean, it's a slim design. Right. And it creates food. She was a chef. She was.
Andrew Santino
No, she was married to a chef.
Bobby Lee
No, she was a chef. She was a Michelin star chef.
Andrew Santino
That's not true.
Bobby Lee
She worked at Michelin star restaurants as a chef.
Andrew Santino
That doesn't make you a Michelin star chef because you worked at a.
Bobby Lee
She. Poor. Water. Basils at the end.
Andrew Santino
Yeah.
Bobby Lee
The last line. Person that does the herbs or whatever.
Andrew Santino
Water up.
Bobby Lee
Yes. Scoop of. Scoop of caviar.
Andrew Santino
Just one little caviar scoop.
Bobby Lee
Yeah, yeah. And the chef goes, too much caviar.
Andrew Santino
What are you doing?
Bobby Lee
Yeah, yeah. Anyway, get it off your chest. So this is capper. This is another model we have. Okay. Yeah.
Andrew Santino
Is it foreign?
Bobby Lee
No, it's Black. It's a black sleek called a Devantre.
Andrew Santino
Oh, this is. This is a good car.
Bobby Lee
It's a gray car. Yeah. Fast. It's the. It's also the best selling.
Andrew Santino
It's got to be.
Bobby Lee
Yeah, yeah. This car, though, you're gonna love this car right here. Right.
Andrew Santino
If it doesn't look like it asks
Bobby Lee
a lot of questions.
Andrew Santino
Too many questions.
Bobby Lee
Yeah, yeah. It's like Knight Rider.
Andrew Santino
It talks the whole time.
Bobby Lee
Talks the whole time.
Andrew Santino
You can't turn it off.
Bobby Lee
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Andrew Santino
Hello.
Bobby Lee
You know what I mean? You're driving too fast. The rules. You know what I mean? It talks a lot. It talks a lot. Yeah, yeah, yeah. There's no off button.
Andrew Santino
Oh. There's no switch.
Bobby Lee
No. Unless you turn it off.
Andrew Santino
Unless you're.
Bobby Lee
Yeah, maybe it's talking to itself at night. You know what I mean?
Andrew Santino
But, yeah, yeah, maybe it'll run out of gas.
Bobby Lee
But still, it's a lot of, like, you know, I mean, you know, so what? How do I make it to this? How do I do this?
Andrew Santino
Inquisitive.
Bobby Lee
Inquisitive. Like, you know, I mean, how do you make it, you know, I mean, who. How do I get an agent? This and that. You know what I mean? And then it's like, you know, you have to go, hey, stop. You have to have that conversation of, like, you know.
Andrew Santino
You know, I'm the polar opposite. I'm like, I'll give you an Excel spreadsheet on how to do everything that you're asking me to.
Bobby Lee
No, I did. I, I, I did tell her what to do.
Andrew Santino
You did. You gave her the hints?
Bobby Lee
Yeah, I gave her, like, this is what you do. And then. But I don't think that she got what I was saying.
Andrew Santino
Well, you can lead a horse to water, but it'll eventually be glue.
Bobby Lee
That's.
Andrew Santino
That's what they say. That's the be. Meanwhile, Carlos is wearing a wind hat.
Bobby Lee
Yeah. Because you guys were at the win.
Andrew Santino
Do you bought that hat or they give us those hats?
Bobby Lee
No, I bought it. I like. I got the same one at Caesars years ago.
Andrew Santino
I know. I remember this.
Bobby Lee
I like this specific hat. It's. I have my circus circus at home. I should have brought it in.
Andrew Santino
Fancy. Got that Stratosphere hat.
Bobby Lee
Yeah, yeah.
Andrew Santino
Everywhere I go, in the casino.
Bobby Lee
Yeah.
Andrew Santino
Where's Bobby, bro?
Bobby Lee
Yeah. Where's. I get that every time at the airport.
Andrew Santino
Why can't we make a shirt? Where's Bobby?
Bobby Lee
Where's Santino?
Andrew Santino
We should make sure to say, where's Bobby? Yeah, we had a Great time. By the way. I had a conversation with my driver, my Uber driver on the way to the airport. So nice. So nice. But I was very tired. Yeah, we had a long weekend. I just kind of wanted to chill. And he was chatty. Chatty. He was inquisitive. He was chatty, chatty. Bang bang. He was very inquisitive.
Bobby Lee
You don't know the rules.
Andrew Santino
What do you mean?
Bobby Lee
What you do?
Andrew Santino
What do I do?
Bobby Lee
I open with a statement.
Andrew Santino
You say, I don't want to talk. No, what do you say?
Bobby Lee
Okay. Hey, dude, I'm gonna be listening to music, so if you need anything, just,
Andrew Santino
you know, I mean, that's smart.
Bobby Lee
Hand up.
Andrew Santino
But he was a fan.
Bobby Lee
But my earphones aren't even on.
Andrew Santino
Okay, so the Uber driver, super nice guy, he's a big fan. Loves bad friends. Loves you.
Bobby Lee
How do you know he vocalized verbally or through hand language or non verbal? It was nonverbal. Through facial expression.
Andrew Santino
He goes, bad friend.
Bobby Lee
Yeah, that's verbal. He went, yeah, that's bad friends. Yeah, yeah, no, this is bad friends. And yeah, yeah, so he did that.
Andrew Santino
He said he loved us.
Bobby Lee
Yeah.
Andrew Santino
And then he was talking and I said he was talking. He was like, oh, I just drove back from la, blah, blah, blah. He's like, I've been in the car for like 30 hours or something like that. I was like, oh, that's crazy. And he said, I got a gift sent to me from my home country for my sister's wedding or something. I had to go pick it up. I said, oh, that's cool. Where? Where? Originally from Pakistan. And immediately I'm in like a mood, like he's trying to talk about. And I just. All I kept thinking about was those videos from Pakistan. That's like, do you love Pakistan? Do you know those videos? And I started talking. He goes, I love those videos. Yeah, one day I'm going to be pilot. I dude, what will you do for Pakistan? And so I'm literally just yelling at him like that in the car. Yeah, I'm not even letting get another word out. I keep going, I love Pakistan is grape. And then he goes, I have no problem with that. I'm Pakistani. I have Indian friends. So he's opened up this gate. I'm like, oh, no. I just think the videos are funny. He's like, no, but I understand there's a lot of hatred in the world right now as far as. And I was like, oh, no. I think he.
Bobby Lee
Oh, no.
Andrew Santino
And he goes, and I'm Muslim. And he goes, My barber is Jewish, and I was. And then he starts, keep talking. I go, jewish barber? I don't. Have you ever Jewish barber?
Bobby Lee
Yeah.
Andrew Santino
Is that a thing?
Bobby Lee
Yeah.
Andrew Santino
I mean, what a disappointment for the family.
Bobby Lee
Does that Jewish barber go to another. An American barber to attack the Muslim guy?
Andrew Santino
No, but he says I'm Muslim. And he goes, well, I'm not a practicing.
Bobby Lee
Yeah.
Andrew Santino
He's like, I'm not like, you know, praying five times a day. And then that logged in my brain for the rest of the time. I couldn't hear what he was saying. Five times is a lot of times a day.
Bobby Lee
He says he prays five times.
Andrew Santino
Not anymore. It's exhausting.
Bobby Lee
Yeah.
Andrew Santino
But also, why would they do that? Why not breakfast, lunch and dinner? It's called Fajr, Sunrise, Dhur, Asur, Maghrib and Isha.
Bobby Lee
But the thing is, is that it can be quick.
Andrew Santino
All right, Do a prayer right now. Go. That's it. I mean, wait, you are facing east.
Bobby Lee
Yeah, yeah, yeah. I mean, how quick was that prayer?
Andrew Santino
That was really good.
Bobby Lee
And if I did that five times, imagine. I mean, it's over.
Andrew Santino
If Bobby. If Bobby was Muslim.
Bobby Lee
Yeah.
Andrew Santino
And had to pray.
Bobby Lee
Yeah.
Andrew Santino
You know the little rug that they have.
Bobby Lee
Oh, yeah.
Andrew Santino
Imagine how he would have the most, like, fancy, vintage, cool rug. He would have to have the dopest rug out of all the rug.
Bobby Lee
It would be the high end. Yeah. Montclair rug.
Andrew Santino
It would be a fancy rug.
Bobby Lee
Yeah, yeah.
Andrew Santino
Is that a Goyard prayer?
Bobby Lee
Yeah, it would be the dope.
Andrew Santino
You would have a fancy rug.
Bobby Lee
Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. And different brands, though, too. I would do a Balenciaga. A Balenciaga rug. You know what I mean? Just for like a Friday. I'm about clubbing, you know what I mean? I would have a Monclair one. I would have a. If Golden Goose had a rug, that'd be cool.
Andrew Santino
I guarantee you they'd make.
Bobby Lee
And then a Made one rug where it's, like, kind of tattered and looking old school. Like, you know, I mean, from like a 50s.
Andrew Santino
A vintage.
Bobby Lee
It's a vintage but brand new R.
Andrew Santino
Let's get you Muslim, dude.
Bobby Lee
Yeah, I'll get Muslim.
Andrew Santino
Sign up. Sign up and go Muslim.
Bobby Lee
Why not? Well, five times is a lot. You know, it's just a lot of
Andrew Santino
times to stop and roll out.
Bobby Lee
Yeah, it's.
Andrew Santino
It.
Bobby Lee
I would probably go Zoroastrism. Oh. There's only like 600 of them on planet Earth, and I need to know exactly what they practice. But that seems like what it's Also before Christ. You mean so before Christianity.
Andrew Santino
You mean B.C.
Bobby Lee
yeah, B.C. so it's like. I think I would go with Zoroastria.
Andrew Santino
That's how cocky Christians are. What they name time before their own time. I know, but it's still their time.
Bobby Lee
Exactly.
Andrew Santino
BC still is us. You're like, well, Christ not exist yet. I know, but it's still our time because it's always been.
Bobby Lee
That's awesome. I mean, how do you feel about. I think I'm being affected about the world around me. What's the war and all that stuff. I know.
Andrew Santino
I was at Marshmallow nightclub last night. I don't know what's going on in the world. Dude.
Bobby Lee
Yeah.
Andrew Santino
We went out till 4:35 in the morning.
Bobby Lee
Yeah.
Andrew Santino
Unbelievable. What are we doing? We were. They were like, you want to go to Marshmallow? I was like, I. Yeah, I guess.
Bobby Lee
Yeah. Wow, you went to Marshmallow, huh? I didn't go to that. Yeah. Yeah.
Andrew Santino
He went to his room.
Bobby Lee
I went to Sprinkles. I got cupcakes.
Andrew Santino
You do? I see the spring in San Jose, the Sprinkles, cupcake vending machines. There's no way they're making money. You don't want to buy it out of.
Bobby Lee
No, no, no, no. That's. How long has it been in there? That's closed down. Yeah. Oh, it's closed down.
Andrew Santino
They're all closed.
Bobby Lee
Yeah.
Andrew Santino
La.
Bobby Lee
But do you buy. Do you buy, like, headphones from the. From the kiosk?
Andrew Santino
So one time I did have to buy.
Bobby Lee
Yeah.
Andrew Santino
Because I forgot mine on a long trip.
Bobby Lee
Yeah.
Andrew Santino
So. And I thought, who's buying it? I was. I was a guy. People. I've got it too, and I'm ashamed.
Bobby Lee
Yeah, yeah. People.
Andrew Santino
People passing by, like, dude, who buys that?
Bobby Lee
Yeah.
Andrew Santino
What are you doing?
Bobby Lee
But imagine, like, you know, like when you buy a candy bar and it gets stuck. Right? You're like, it's 60 cents. Right.
Andrew Santino
But an AirPod.
Bobby Lee
But doing an AirPod, a Bose. You know what I mean? AirBud. That's 300. Imagine that getting stuck and you're like banging up the machine. It's 300.
Andrew Santino
You're buying Meta glasses and they're stuck.
Bobby Lee
Imagine. Imagine a kid getting stuck in there. You know how they do it? Those crawl through the crane machine, the cray machine.
Andrew Santino
Do they get.
Bobby Lee
Some nerd is in there. Yeah, yeah. Some nerd kid is in there.
Andrew Santino
You know me, some sweet little nerd.
Bobby Lee
Yeah. Wow.
Andrew Santino
Wait, so San Jose was good, you know? You love it up there.
Bobby Lee
Well, I mean, I played that room for over 20 years. And it's like, it's very comfortable, but it's. You know, it's the same thing where
Andrew Santino
it's like, I got to do that place.
Bobby Lee
Do. Yeah, it's a great club.
Andrew Santino
I never done it.
Bobby Lee
Wow.
Andrew Santino
I know. I just never did an improv run.
Bobby Lee
Wow. It's a theater. You'll love it.
Andrew Santino
No, no, I just mean I've only done a few improvs. I never really did a bunch of improvs. Yeah, but you used to do that all the time.
Bobby Lee
I'm an improv guy.
Andrew Santino
But you used to do San Jose, like, twice a year sometimes. Yeah, it's crazy.
Bobby Lee
It's a great audience. But you know how I've been going to the Comedy Store for so long that when I go in there, I feel nauseous?
Andrew Santino
What do you mean?
Bobby Lee
Because it's. I. Because I've been there so long that it just kind of makes me want to go this again.
Andrew Santino
What?
Bobby Lee
Yeah, like, there's a nausea that happens.
Andrew Santino
You're losing the love of the store.
Bobby Lee
No, I've always loved it, but it's just like. It's like, you know, going into your living room.
Andrew Santino
I love my living room.
Bobby Lee
Oh, you do?
Andrew Santino
You don't feel nauseous sick in my house?
Bobby Lee
Yeah, yeah.
Andrew Santino
You can experience from visiting the same place repeatedly due to several factors and condition responses, environmental triggers.
Bobby Lee
Yeah, yeah, yeah. I've had a lot of trauma at the store back in the day. I. I don't know. There's just something about that. But. But San Jose improv has the same effect.
Andrew Santino
You get nauseous when you go.
Bobby Lee
When I walk into the bit, I just feel nauseous.
Andrew Santino
Well, that's not good.
Bobby Lee
It's not good. It's just because I've been going there for so long, and it's just like, you should stop then. Well, no, I mean, maybe this. I'm. Day nine not smoking.
Andrew Santino
You guys. Come on. That's a huge deal. Day nine is. I think they say, what's the day that you stop? What's, like, the crest? What day is like, you finally get over the hump of not smoking. It's got to be like, two weeks. You got to be getting close. I want this for you so bad. After the first week. Okay, so seven to ten days is. Is when you're going to start to clear up. And then two to four weeks, you're going to be clean, ready to rock and roll.
Bobby Lee
Yeah. So anyway, maybe that had something to do with it, but there's always a Kind of a. It's. It's also what bummed me out was. So the Friday first show, you know, it's a theater, so it's like I go to the balcony and it's empty. What do you mean no one's there?
Andrew Santino
The show's not on yet?
Bobby Lee
No, it's starting and you're on the about.
Andrew Santino
And no one. So it's not sold out upstairs.
Bobby Lee
It. They said it's all sold out.
Andrew Santino
People buy tickets that don't show up all the time.
Bobby Lee
I know, but what happened was this is a date a year ago. I never just showed up. I just didn't show up.
Andrew Santino
You rescheduled it.
Bobby Lee
Yeah, so it was rescheduled. So all the tickets from that transferred over this. Right. So, like, a lot of people just didn't show up.
Andrew Santino
Yeah, right.
Bobby Lee
And I. It bummed me out.
Andrew Santino
I understand. The cookies. Look at the cookies they little made for me. And that's. The show was really nice. This one's kind of my favorite. I'm not gonna lie.
Bobby Lee
Yeah. But, you know, I'll have the one with me on it.
Andrew Santino
You know what's so funny about this cookie? That's old Bob. Do you notice that? Yeah, that's old Bob with long hair. Old Bob. And I saw a video of you posted on the Internet with old hair. Yeah, Old Bob hair.
Bobby Lee
Yeah.
Andrew Santino
And it made me miss the long hair.
Bobby Lee
I'm growing it up.
Andrew Santino
You have to.
Bobby Lee
I am.
Andrew Santino
Because I love when you.
Bobby Lee
I. I am. I'm growing.
Andrew Santino
Yeah, because old Bob hair like that, when it was that long, like, oh, it's gonna.
Bobby Lee
Oh, it's gonna be long.
Andrew Santino
There's videos. When we first started this podcast. Yeah, your hair was insane. Your hair was insane. You know who didn't get high this weekend? Carlos. He was a good boy. In Vegas, no less.
Bobby Lee
He does it behind your back.
Andrew Santino
No, he doesn't.
Bobby Lee
Yeah, I smoked weed. Remember I told you I was vaping it in the room?
Andrew Santino
You were? Yeah, I told you.
Bobby Lee
You said you're not doing anything, dude. What kind of boss are you, dude?
Andrew Santino
Not a good one.
Bobby Lee
Yeah, right. Right behind your back. He even says it to you and you don't even listen.
Andrew Santino
Well, I'm a great boss.
Bobby Lee
You're not a great boss.
Andrew Santino
No, I'm a good boss.
Bobby Lee
No, you're not a good boss, dude. He's like, you're a good. Your employee goes, hey, hey, boss, I'm smoking weed right in front of your face. Yeah. And you're like, he didn't do any drugs this weekend.
Andrew Santino
Yeah.
Bobby Lee
Yeah. You're a bad dad.
Andrew Santino
I'm trying to. I would not be.
Bobby Lee
Yeah, you're a bad dad, dude.
Andrew Santino
You know why? Because I'm cool, okay? I'm. You know what?
Bobby Lee
I know.
Andrew Santino
Here's. Here's the problem. Here's the problem.
Bobby Lee
Yeah.
Andrew Santino
When he vapes, I don't know if it's weed or if it's.
Bobby Lee
He just said he told you.
Andrew Santino
You.
Bobby Lee
He was doing it.
Andrew Santino
I was not paying attention. I was bus.
Bobby Lee
Did you say it? I. I'm Andrew. No, no, look at me. Look at me. Right? Okay. And what is Andrew doing? Andrew goes, you're being a good boy, right? And I go, oh, yeah. Okay. Let me. You're being good boy, right? He goes, no. I forget what else he says, but I just say it the way. Okay, who cares what he says?
Andrew Santino
Let him play the scene.
Bobby Lee
Yeah, yeah, let me play the scene. Right? All right. You're Andrew. Yeah, yeah. You're being good boy, huh?
Andrew Santino
Your. Your lip is bleeding.
Bobby Lee
Oh, yeah.
Andrew Santino
Put some blood on your lips. Yeah, it's fine. Go.
Bobby Lee
No, I need blood.
Andrew Santino
You got it. See, he. This. An actor prepares.
Bobby Lee
Yeah, yeah, I know.
Andrew Santino
An actor prepares. And there's red there.
Bobby Lee
Yeah, You're doing good boy, huh? No, I'm just vaping weed. Don't worry about it. That's what you did.
Andrew Santino
I was worried about my show. What did I really say? When you told me you were vaping,
Bobby Lee
you said that that was worse than smoking joints.
Andrew Santino
Yeah, it is. Yeah. What's in those fucking things?
Bobby Lee
You did know. You're being so. You lied to me.
Andrew Santino
No, I just forgot zbiotics. You know, sometimes I like to go out, have a couple of sodas. Responsibly. I'm an adult, but when I drink, alcohol gets converted into a toxic byproduct in the gut. And I'm telling you, the buildup of this, it's not dehydration. It's this buildup that's to blame for those rough days after nights drinking at the bar. And you got to take zbiotics, you know? Remember to take pre alcohol, your first drink of the night. Drink responsibly, and you're going to feel so good tomorrow. I always feel so much better when I take this before I have a couple. A couple of fun nights out. Okay? And you will, too. It makes your recovery so much easier and faster versus just chugging water and drinking soup all afternoon. From the fairways in Augusta to the first pitch of baseball season and the start of festival circuits, April is a sprint of outdoor celebrations. Don't let a rough next day keep you on the sidelines. Drink pre alcohol to stay ahead of the game and make the most of every sunny Saturday. Go to zebiotics.com bad friends to learn more and get 15% off your first order when you use code BAD FRIENDS at checkout. ZBiotics is backed with 100% money back guarantee, so if you're unsatisfied for any reason whatsoever, they're going to refund your money, no questions asked. Remember to head to ZBiotics.com Bad friends use the code bad friends at checkout for 15% off.
Bobby Lee
Quo is the number one rated business phone system on G2 with over 3,000 reviews.
Andrew Santino
It's built for how modern teams work today. That's why more than 90 and businesses from solo operators to growing teams rely on Quo to stay connected, professional, and consistently they are reachable. Quo makes it so easy, man. Calls, texts, voicemails, transcripts, contact details, all of this stuff is going to be live in one clean view. No more cards all over the place. With. With all of this full context at your fingertips, your team in your office is going to communicate faster, stay aligned, and deliver a more personal experience for your customers.
Bobby Lee
It's. It isn't just a phone system, Andrew. It's a smart system. KOHS AI automatically log calls, generate summaries, and highlights next steps so nothing gets lost.
Andrew Santino
They're even going to qualify leads or respond after hours when you're not there. They're going to ensure your business stays responsive even when you're finally offline at home. No matter what the size of your business is, whether you're Bad Friends, small and titan, indie, or you're massive, it doesn't matter. Quo is there to help make this
Bobby Lee
year the year where no opportunity and no customer slips away.
Andrew Santino
You can try Quo for free, plus get 20 off your first six months. When you go to quo.com/bad friends, that's quo.com/bad friends quo.
Bobby Lee
No missed calls, no missed customers.
Andrew Santino
That's quo.comqu o.com bad friends.
Bobby Lee
Quince, you know I'm going to an event, the Asian event. Oh, I love the Golden Gala.
Andrew Santino
The Golden Gala.
Bobby Lee
And I got a shirt from Quinn's. Okay. It's a blue oxford button up. Oxford button up. Yeah. Right. It looks like a $2,000 piece of shirt. It's high class and it. That's why I bought it. I got a Quinn shirt. I'm gonna look fab.
Andrew Santino
You're gonna look way fab.
Bobby Lee
I'm gonna look like I spent a
Andrew Santino
lot of money because they make high quality everyday essentials using premium materials like 100 European linen. And they're insanely soft. This flow knit activewear is my favorite. The activewear fabric is so soft when you get sweaty, it doesn't cling to your body, make you feel uncomfortable. It's moisture wicking and it's anti odor. So no matter how much you sweat, you ain't gonna stink. Thanks to their flow knit active and
Bobby Lee
the best part is their price is 50 to 60% less. Quince works directly with ethical factories and cuts out the middlemen. So you're paying for quality, not brand markup. Everything is designed to last and make getting dressed easy.
Andrew Santino
That's right. So refresh your wardrobe with quince. Go to quince.combadfriends for free shipping and 365 day returns. Now available in Canada too. So go to quince Q-U-I-N-C-E.com Bad Friends for free shipping and 365 day returns.
Bobby Lee
Quince.com Bad Friends I'm like at the San Jose Improv, right? They have a security guy that walks me to my hotel and I'm like, I stop.
Andrew Santino
Yeah, but they do that for. They do.
Bobby Lee
I don't need. I know where to go.
Andrew Santino
Yeah, but you're easily attackable. People attack you all the time.
Bobby Lee
But, but like the other rest of the day you're free. I'm just walking around alone in the same areas and stuff like that. Why in this specific incident?
Andrew Santino
Because you're under their tutelage right there. You're under there. If you got hurt, it'd be on them during that, when they're done with you.
Bobby Lee
I think once I get out of the club, it's free.
Andrew Santino
I agree.
Bobby Lee
Yeah, Yeah. I think it's like, you know, I mean our responsibility is over. You like it? I. I don't. Cuz I always tell him like you please just stay here.
Andrew Santino
But he does like to smoke. Back in the day he would smoke behind the security guard and walk and very like, like gallivant behind the security and like dart his eyes. Didn't you never sultry? Yeah, you did. When we were on tour, you'd be walking behind the security and you do this, you'd be like sexily smoking see me do that? Yes you would. You're pissing me off. Everyone's nodding. Everyone's nodding.
Bobby Lee
You're pissing me off. I've never done that.
Andrew Santino
You would. Romantic.
Bobby Lee
Okay, dude, I've never done this.
Andrew Santino
That's not the Face. No, don't do.
Bobby Lee
All right. What are you doing?
Andrew Santino
No, you. You would, like, cool. Like, very. You're.
Bobby Lee
You're doing this with your hand.
Andrew Santino
You do when you walk.
Bobby Lee
No, I don't do. I.
Andrew Santino
When you walk with your cigarette, you kind of bob a little bit when you walk, and then you'll smoke, and then your eyes will be darting all romantic.
Bobby Lee
I'm listening to the Doobie Brothers or something.
Andrew Santino
No, you're not.
Bobby Lee
Yeah, yeah. I bop, dude. I bop when I listen to the doo.
Andrew Santino
You're.
Bobby Lee
Yeah, yeah.
Andrew Santino
You're Doobie.
Bobby Lee
Listen to the music, dude. So it's like I'm doobie brothering.
Andrew Santino
It's romantic, though.
Bobby Lee
Yeah, yeah, yeah. But it's like. And I don't know if that's a security guard. You're saying the. Behind the security guard you would walk. I'm Doobie brother.
Andrew Santino
You would do. Be, brother.
Bobby Lee
All right. Okay.
Andrew Santino
So anyway, I took mushrooms last night.
Bobby Lee
Can you put that in?
Andrew Santino
Yeah. I felt amazing. It was.
Bobby Lee
When was the last time you took mushrooms?
Andrew Santino
A couple weeks ago.
Bobby Lee
Oh. But was it a more of a dosage?
Andrew Santino
This one was higher.
Bobby Lee
Yeah. Much higher. Yeah.
Andrew Santino
Because I've been microdosing.
Bobby Lee
Oh, you've been microdosing.
Andrew Santino
My mental health.
Bobby Lee
Yeah.
Andrew Santino
I'm genuinely happy and I heard.
Bobby Lee
I heard it helps.
Andrew Santino
I do feel much better at night.
Bobby Lee
Yeah.
Andrew Santino
When I microdose, I do feel like the end of the day. I don't have as much anxiety before I go to bed because I used to lay awake in bed at night.
Bobby Lee
I haven't come in three weeks.
Andrew Santino
Start microdosing, dude.
Bobby Lee
Yeah, yeah. Because of Alexa Pro.
Andrew Santino
Wait, really?
Bobby Lee
Yeah.
Andrew Santino
So you can't not. I can't cut what comes out.
Bobby Lee
I can't nut nothing. I mean, I haven't even tried. Really? Yeah, it's weird.
Andrew Santino
Did they have something to combat that? They do.
Bobby Lee
No.
Andrew Santino
One, two, three. Blue Chew.
Bobby Lee
Now. Blue Chew Gold. Yeah. Anoxanil and Malolo Colon.
Andrew Santino
It's the main ingredient. Anoxynolam.
Bobby Lee
And the two ones, I think. I can't say.
Andrew Santino
No, I did and I watched. I watched my cousin play roulette, and I was feeling fantastic.
Bobby Lee
Oh, your cousin was there? Yeah. Was he juicing too, or what?
Andrew Santino
He was having a great time.
Bobby Lee
Yeah.
Andrew Santino
Yeah, he is. He's so funny.
Bobby Lee
But then when I was using in Mexico, we weren't doing that. Oh, yeah? Who?
Andrew Santino
You and I, we were not having a good time. When you were using a Mexico.
Bobby Lee
Yeah, but because why is it not. Like, why couldn't we have those?
Andrew Santino
Because you're a drug addict and you have no control because you. You don't use until you get high and feel good. You use until it's unmanageable. Till there's poop on the walls and you're screaming and you're pointing in my face in front of people going, you lied. This is. This has no booze in it. You liar.
Bobby Lee
You know what?
Andrew Santino
You know, in front of everyone.
Bobby Lee
You know who I am? Yeah. I mean, I'm. I'm. I'm Ren from Ren and Stimpy. Yep.
Andrew Santino
Yeah, you are.
Bobby Lee
Yeah, it's Stimpy the dog. Ren's the dog. Right?
Andrew Santino
Ren's little weird dog.
Bobby Lee
Yeah. Yeah, I'm. Because I love Ren. Because Ren's so paranoid.
Andrew Santino
Yeah, that's. Yeah.
Bobby Lee
You know what I mean? And he gets in people's faces and he has these delusions, you know? I mean, and I love that character.
Andrew Santino
Somehow you're both of these guys.
Bobby Lee
I think so. I think I am random and simpy.
Andrew Santino
You're Stimpy.
Bobby Lee
Yeah. Yeah. But I love that cartoon. But anyway. Yeah, I ran out when I am,
Andrew Santino
like, it's just when you. You're.
Bobby Lee
You're. You're up. You're up to something.
Andrew Santino
No. And then you point in my face and yelled at me in front of me because you wanted booze, and I lied to you and I got you.
Bobby Lee
Yeah. Yeah. Because I know. Dumb. Dumb. I know what you're doing.
Andrew Santino
But you were so fucked up.
Bobby Lee
I know, but I know what you're doing.
Andrew Santino
Well, protecting you.
Bobby Lee
Yeah. Yeah. But I can. I'll just get my own drink.
Andrew Santino
I mean, you flew to Mexico with a suitcase fill of drugs full of drugs. You open your suitcase, and guess what?
Bobby Lee
I flew back with no drugs.
Andrew Santino
Yes. Yeah. Because of us.
Bobby Lee
No. I did it all.
Andrew Santino
Okay.
Bobby Lee
Okay.
Andrew Santino
You're right.
Bobby Lee
Yeah. Yeah, you did. That's called magic.
Andrew Santino
That is called magic in a weird way.
Bobby Lee
Okay, so it's like. But we never had that. When. Next time I go out.
Andrew Santino
No, you're not going.
Bobby Lee
Yeah, yeah. No. Shut the up or I'm tired of this. I'm boss, too, all right? Your boss. Number two. Yeah, I'm like the vice president. Yeah. I'm J.D. vance.
Andrew Santino
You kind of are.
Bobby Lee
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Andrew Santino
You know you're not gonna go out.
Bobby Lee
What I'm saying is, the next time I go out, you. I mean, God forbid it doesn't happen. Right? I want a night. I want to go to Marshmallow. Okay.
Andrew Santino
You can go to Marshmallow without using.
Bobby Lee
I know. You know? No, I Want to go to Marshmallow? I want to be on Shroom. I want to be on Ketamine. You. I mean, yeah, yeah, yeah. I want to go to Vegas. I want to be able to, like, walk out of a bathroom and go. Yeah. Are you okay? Yeah. I mean, don't actually have cocaine in my nose.
Andrew Santino
No.
Bobby Lee
Yeah, yeah, yeah. I want that next time. It's never gonna happen, but hypothetically, it could. And what I'm saying is, is that the next time, don't cut me out. I won't. Because the last time I went out, you cut me out. You were all being parental because you were.
Andrew Santino
You were.
Bobby Lee
That doesn't matter. No, I want good times. Carlos. Carlos. Yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Andrew Santino
Oh, so you're mad that we are protecting you.
Bobby Lee
I don't want to be protected, Dude. Yes. No, I want to go to Marshmallow. You. I mean, I want to go out with Andreas, you know? I mean, and have those times.
Andrew Santino
We can do it without alcohol.
Bobby Lee
No, no, next time. No, we can't have those times because I'm all Christian on the road now.
Andrew Santino
You're not Christian on the road.
Bobby Lee
Yeah, yeah, but I'm like, I'm going to bed now.
Andrew Santino
Yeah, but we did that, too. I do that.
Bobby Lee
I know you eventually did, but, like, I do it at, like, 11.
Andrew Santino
Yeah.
Bobby Lee
Yeah. So my point being is, is that, you know, you guys can have your. All your Vegas nightlife and still. And I get cut out when I'm out. What's.
Andrew Santino
Because you. You can't. Because you're.
Bobby Lee
Yes, I can.
Andrew Santino
You're a drug addict.
Bobby Lee
It's a label, and I refuse to believe it. I know. I am one.
Andrew Santino
You are.
Bobby Lee
I am. And he is.
Andrew Santino
Yeah, I know, but he's not.
Bobby Lee
Why? Is he okay?
Andrew Santino
He's. He's not okay. We're very concerned.
Bobby Lee
I know, but then why. When I. When I wasn't okay.
Andrew Santino
Because we care more about you than Carlos. You make more money. Yeah.
Bobby Lee
You're famous. You're worth more in this world. Oh, so if you passed away from an overdose. No. If I, like, made a movie all of a sudden, y' all would, like, talk to me more, probably, and care more about my health.
Andrew Santino
I talk to you every day.
Bobby Lee
Yeah, I should have said more.
Andrew Santino
This bit is so stupid. We care about all of you equally. The difference is, you have control of your addiction right now. He does not. I know, but I can't do anything. What do you want me to do with him? Fire him. Should we fire him?
Bobby Lee
Maybe. Maybe when he's, like, you Know, I mean. Hey. Hey, dad.
Andrew Santino
Yeah.
Bobby Lee
I'm smoking weed right in front of you. That's not bad, though, to just smoke weed. If I'm just smoking weed. That's so chill. That's like going to war and just, like, showing up for a day with a gun. Oh, you're like, just outside of Car Guyland. Yeah. You're. You're on a ship. You know what I mean?
Andrew Santino
Yeah.
Bobby Lee
Just. You don't know if you're gonna attack Car Guy island yet. Is that what it is? I don't know what Car Gyland is. Do you know what Car Guy is? Oh, it's an island right there. That's one of your Antarctica theories. No, it's not a theory. It's an Iranian island. I mean, they have, you know, I mean, oil reserves there and. And Tick Tock is full of.
Andrew Santino
You've been. You've been watching so much. Like, I know how much Iran stuff you've been looking at now. It's all day, every day.
Bobby Lee
I know. 24 hours a day. I mean, see what I was saying
Andrew Santino
before you have to stop.
Bobby Lee
Is there a Car island?
Andrew Santino
Yes.
Bobby Lee
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. And what's on Carg Island?
Andrew Santino
Probably oil reserves.
Bobby Lee
Yeah. A bunch of sand. Yeah. Oh, my God, now he's being racist. There's more sand. Everywhere has sand. Okay. There's oil reserved. Exactly. That's what I just said.
Andrew Santino
Target island is a 7.7 square mile coral island in the Persian Gulf that serves as Iran's primary oil export terminal.
Bobby Lee
Right. And. And, and there's now, like, questions. If the US Marines are gonna charge at Carg island, take control of it.
Andrew Santino
Dude, so good. David Attenborough, as the Marines, you know.
Bobby Lee
Yeah, I mean, I'm sorry I'm consumed about the war. Why? You're not a soldier. I'm an American citizen. I just paid 130 of the pump. Okay. And I. And I drive a moped. That's a lot, dude. All right, very fair. I drive a moped.
Andrew Santino
Is that how much? Yeah, 130. To fill up your tank?
Bobby Lee
No, it was like 80 something, but I usually pay $80. Yeah, but I used to only pay. And that's my. My small car. $55. $50. Do you do the cheap gas? No, I do the Supreme. Good. What does that mean?
Andrew Santino
That's actually a really good question.
Bobby Lee
Yeah, well, I mean, I never knew. Can you explain to me, I don't know, the three different Unleaded, unleaded, premium, and then Supreme. Can you. Cool cars. Get the fancy one and the shitty one. It's like air. One.
Andrew Santino
Water.
Bobby Lee
Oh, it is. No, tell. Tell me this difference, because I don't know.
Andrew Santino
So I will tell you.
Bobby Lee
Yeah, yeah.
Andrew Santino
So a combustion engine, right?
Bobby Lee
We'll explain that. Let's start with a car.
Andrew Santino
So a car.
Bobby Lee
Start with the car.
Andrew Santino
Beep, beep.
Bobby Lee
Yeah.
Andrew Santino
Vroom, vroom.
Bobby Lee
Oh, okay. Beep, beep. Room. Okay, hold on.
Andrew Santino
So a combustion engine, right? Little explosions have to take place within these pistons, right?
Bobby Lee
Yeah.
Andrew Santino
And these pistons that are in your car that fire, that make it go fast and have. Have torque.
Bobby Lee
Right.
Andrew Santino
And have power and drive.
Bobby Lee
Yeah.
Andrew Santino
Higher octane. Right. The higher octane numbers, they fire at a cleaner and faster rate. So faster, nicer cars, like F1, they need highest octane levels.
Bobby Lee
So they do supreme.
Andrew Santino
They do their own. They have a different octane. They have octane that we can't get. F1 gas.
Bobby Lee
I need that. Yeah. How did we get that?
Andrew Santino
I don't think your moped can handle that again.
Bobby Lee
No. Oh, all right.
Andrew Santino
I doubt it.
Bobby Lee
Yeah.
Andrew Santino
No, but it's higher octane gas. It burns cleaner and it fires. It fires cleaner and it's cleaner for the engine. Higher octane, but it's more expensive. But that's what it is. That's essentially why people do.
Bobby Lee
All right, so.
Andrew Santino
But people who have like a. Just a luxury car, like say someone that has a BMW, okay. And just a regular BMW.
Bobby Lee
Right.
Andrew Santino
And they put in the most expensive, highest, supreme. It's meaningless. They should just put it. But the only reason you would need a higher octane level in your cars if your engine requires a higher minimum because of the performance of the engine. So performance cars need them.
Bobby Lee
So in what? My. My Hyundai, you know, I mean, your moped in my moped, yeah. I put supreme in. Right. Just thinking that it's better for the engine or whatever. It's pointless.
Andrew Santino
No, it is hypothetically better for the engine. It's going to burn cleaner.
Bobby Lee
Well, then. Well, then I'll just keep doing that.
Andrew Santino
But it's not going to make your engine and it's not going to make your. Your. It's not going to make your moped go faster.
Bobby Lee
I'm not trying to go room. Room.
Andrew Santino
So. So then put in the cheapest.
Bobby Lee
Yeah, but I want my engine to be healthy.
Andrew Santino
It's not even your car.
Bobby Lee
Oh, that's right.
Andrew Santino
Yeah. You're going to give it back.
Bobby Lee
I am giving it back.
Andrew Santino
Yeah. Don't do that. Who cares if it's a lease, by the way, to every American if it's a lease? Put the Shittiest gas in there you can find. Go to Sinclair, where the dinosaur is, where it's like a dollar eighty six. Real shit.
Bobby Lee
I go to the tar pits, scoop it. I scoop it. I stick it in the.
Andrew Santino
Manually do it.
Bobby Lee
Yeah, I manually do it.
Andrew Santino
This is the funniest thing about the cookies that I'm gnawing on because they're delicious.
Bobby Lee
Yeah.
Andrew Santino
Is they were like doing Shout out to, you know, they did White Noise, Cookie, the Whiskey, Ginger. They did Bad, Bad Friends.
Bobby Lee
But you did the John Cena movie. What do you mean?
Andrew Santino
We're never gonna be cool leads in a thing.
Bobby Lee
Yeah, but people think that you're cool already.
Andrew Santino
Whom?
Bobby Lee
I'm sorry. When you were in Vegas, did no one come up to show up to your show and buy a ticket?
Andrew Santino
Well, Carlos can actually tell you, unfortunately, nobody came.
Bobby Lee
Bummer, man.
Andrew Santino
Yeah, it was a huge.
Bobby Lee
Oh, it was a bummer.
Andrew Santino
Yeah.
Bobby Lee
Oh, my bad.
Andrew Santino
We went out for a nice little fancy dinner. We had a great little dinner. Carlos paid the bill.
Bobby Lee
That's unbelievable. He paid the bill through my tour money. You haven't paid me yet. We haven't even started my tour. Tour money. Yeah, we. You haven't paid me yet. But. But my. Your future tour money. I paid him my future tomb. I paid Delilah with future money. Yeah, yeah, that. Which is my money. Yeah. I said, bobby will pay you in. Yeah, yeah. So I pay for your dinner. Hey, yeah.
Andrew Santino
You know, he didn't pay for the dinner. You know damn well.
Bobby Lee
Yeah, yeah. In fact, I don't think any of them have paid for the dinner. I have paid for dinner before. Which one?
Andrew Santino
Wait a minute. Time out. Before you get it. What are you raising your hand for? When have you paid for a dinner? I paid for our breakfast one time. When. When I was over there at the white place with the.
Bobby Lee
With the.
Andrew Santino
With the. With the weird square.
Bobby Lee
Oh, you and him. Was it a Ku Klux Klan rally? What? I definitely wasn't there. With the white hood and the white faces. Yeah, I mean, what did you know
Andrew Santino
Ginger one day because I didn't have my wallet or something? No, you're like. You're paying today.
Bobby Lee
I said okay. Okay, good. That's good. Good. Have you ever paid a meal for me?
Andrew Santino
We don't.
Bobby Lee
We've.
Andrew Santino
We've gone. We've gotten food together once.
Bobby Lee
That's so not true.
Andrew Santino
That's not true. Me and you together.
Bobby Lee
Which one? Where was it?
Andrew Santino
It was you took me to sushi around my birthday.
Bobby Lee
Where was it?
Andrew Santino
And then we went to see the Mission Impossible.
Bobby Lee
That's right. We've done stuff together. I know.
Andrew Santino
That was one thing. One time.
Bobby Lee
Yeah, yeah, yeah, it was one time. But a great one. Oh no, it was great. But yeah, of course. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I don't to like, you know, I mean, white hats, white face, you know, I mean breakfast places.
Andrew Santino
We don't do that at breakfast.
Bobby Lee
Yeah, yeah, yeah, I think you do a nice sushi restaurant and a fine ass movie tickets, right? Yeah, I don't do white face, white head. You know what I mean? Yeah. So it's like you fart. No, it was this, it was a. But. Yeah. So you've. Andreas, have you ever paid for a meal?
Andrew Santino
I don't think so. I don't think we ever been to a meal together. Well, as bad friends we have.
Bobby Lee
Yeah. As a group. We have group, yes. Yeah, yeah. You don't think. Yeah. One on one. We've never had a meal together. No, I don't think we have that kind of relationship. Yeah.
Andrew Santino
He's just too cool for us now he's got a kid.
Bobby Lee
Yeah, yeah.
Andrew Santino
He's over it.
Bobby Lee
Kind of makes me mad. It's just that whole thing, you know, I'll be. I'll be honest. I think it's on you. Nah. Yeah, there's no, you know, I call you a lot. You know, I mean, you only text me. I call you a lot. You only text me. I think it's you.
Andrew Santino
I know that's not true, but I'm just going.
Bobby Lee
No, no, no, that really is. I call him a lot.
Andrew Santino
About what?
Bobby Lee
Yeah, about what do I not call you? What's it about?
Andrew Santino
You have called me, but about what? What did you wanna. Why are you in interested in me? What are you a girl?
Bobby Lee
Yeah. Yeah.
Andrew Santino
Why do you like me, Bob?
Bobby Lee
Tell me why you like Happy birthday text. Oh, that was a text. Yeah, yeah. You mean what time is bad friends?
Andrew Santino
Yes. Yeah, yeah. What time is bad friends?
Bobby Lee
Yeah, yeah. And then. But you have to read behind the
Andrew Santino
context of it more than just what?
Bobby Lee
Yeah, yeah. Scramble the words. He forced me to say I love you in front of his friends.
Andrew Santino
Yeah, you should say I love you more.
Bobby Lee
I mean, these are the things I'm talking about, dude. It's like there's more resistance when it comes to you than me.
Andrew Santino
Because he has a lot of repression. Fancy has a lot of repression.
Bobby Lee
Yeah. Repressed feelings.
Andrew Santino
He gets really uncomfortable.
Bobby Lee
And then when he got drunk, he got really touchy feely with me.
Andrew Santino
Yeah.
Bobby Lee
Did you not? And that's when your real self comes where the defense goes down. Yeah. And this is how I really feel.
Andrew Santino
Well, I'll tell you, he wants to be a star now because I pitched a little show about me and him going to, like, a local bar to me, like, showing him what a local watering hole is. Like.
Bobby Lee
Yeah.
Andrew Santino
And literally the other day of the episode, he's like, andrew, when are we going to do this show where you and I go to the bar and whose name goes first? Whose name is on top? He wants to headline the show.
Bobby Lee
Wow.
Andrew Santino
And by the way, that only reminds me, Macon, that breakfast. That reminds me.
Bobby Lee
Yeah.
Andrew Santino
This is the funniest part. I know that I did that to you just to tease you, you know, to be like, oh, you pay this time. But I also know that stayed with you for a while. You've been thinking about it.
Bobby Lee
Yeah. How much was it?
Andrew Santino
No, I was like.
Bobby Lee
No. How much was it?
Andrew Santino
Like $30? No, it wasn't much, but I was like, coffee also. It's way more than I would have spent on breakfast.
Bobby Lee
But I was like, can you talk in the mic?
Andrew Santino
I was also like, this is a good.
Bobby Lee
This is a good thing. Why is it a good thing?
Andrew Santino
Because I. Because I get so much. It's nice to pay some back.
Bobby Lee
Oh, I see.
Andrew Santino
Because he walks around like this all day.
Bobby Lee
I know he. Have I not given you cash before?
Andrew Santino
Yeah, you constantly give me.
Bobby Lee
Yeah, but you can't get me a breakfast.
Andrew Santino
If you want to go out for breakfast. Yeah, sure. He does not want to go out for breakfast.
Bobby Lee
Actually texted me the other day out of the blue.
Andrew Santino
What it say? He said, marty supreme is a film of two halves. That's true.
Bobby Lee
Yeah.
Andrew Santino
That's actually a very true statement.
Bobby Lee
What? This is the New York Times.
Andrew Santino
He's a critic.
Bobby Lee
No, I mean, I watched. I watched. I mean, can I have my own opinion about the movie?
Andrew Santino
It is a film of two hats.
Bobby Lee
Yeah, yeah, yeah. I. I thought that the first half of the movie. Right. Was, like, brilliant.
Andrew Santino
It was.
Bobby Lee
I thought the setup was good. And then I think it just ran away from itself. It became something else. Like, there was a lot of editing that needed to be. Go on or whatever, like, get to the thing.
Andrew Santino
It was a lot of other movies.
Bobby Lee
Other movies in there, and it just. I got lost in it. And, you know, at the end of the day, good movie, but, you know, I mean, it doesn't deserve any awards, in my opinion.
Andrew Santino
Shopify.
Bobby Lee
You know, we have an online business here at Bad Friends, and we would not be nothing without Shopify.
Andrew Santino
Okay, that is exactly true.
Bobby Lee
You like designing? I do, yeah. Yeah, that's what they do.
Andrew Santino
Yes, they help you shop.
Bobby Lee
Design studio.
Andrew Santino
Yes, it's one of the best out there. You know, you, you, you, you seem like you got a huge marketing team. You can easily create email and social media campaigns wherever your customers are scrolling or strolling thanks to Shopify. If you don't know, they've been around for a long time. And thankfully they got that iconic purple shop pay button. It's used by millions. Millions of businesses around the world is why Shopify has the best converting checkout on the planet.
Bobby Lee
Excellent. Accelerate your efficiency whether you're uploading new products, improve existing ones. Shopify is packed with helpful AI tools that write product descriptions, page headlines and even enhance your product photography.
Andrew Santino
They got 247 award winning customer support. If you get stuck, which you probably won't, but if you do, they're always around to help you out. They help boost conversions, meaning less carts are going to go abandoned and more sales are going to go to you. So thank you to Shopify. They help us out. It's time to turn those what ifs into with Shopify today. Sign up for your $1 per month trial at shopify.com bad friends go to shopify.com bad friends that is shopify.com bad friends.
Bobby Lee
Mars man, you know what I'm lacking? Yeah. What?
Andrew Santino
I don't know.
Bobby Lee
Testosterone.
Andrew Santino
A little bit.
Bobby Lee
I was born with none.
Andrew Santino
No, that's impossible.
Bobby Lee
Yeah, yeah. Guess what? And guess what, with Mars men testosterone,
Andrew Santino
you get a big boost from Mars men. This is natural testosterone support. It's phenomenal this stuff. A lot of people think like, you know, having a dad bod comes from drinking beer, eating worse. For a lot of guys, that's not actually the whole story. As we all get older men, our bodies are going to reprogram themselves. We're going to store more fat and
Bobby Lee
there's no, there's no weird stimulants or synthetic hormones, nothing. It's real natural ingredients like tong car, ali, shilajit, zinc boron and more than healthy T levels, weight management and exercise performance.
Andrew Santino
The quality of this stuff is legit. It's made in the United States. Every batch is third party tested so you know that it is good. You have more constant energy, stronger lifts, better focus. And I gotta tell you, I haven't felt this good since I was in my 20s. And I do, I love it. I do love feeling good. After a good workout. You got a 90 day money back guarantee. There's no risk. Worst case scenario, you don't love it. You get your money back over 91 of users report higher.
Bobby Lee
Made in the USA.
Andrew Santino
For a limited time, our listeners can get 50 off for life plus free shipping and 3 free gifts@ Mengotomars.com and
Bobby Lee
after you purchase they will ask you where you heard about them. Please support our show and tell them our show sent you.
Andrew Santino
That's mengotomars.com for 50 off and three free gifts when you check out and it's also available on Amazon. This podcast is sponsored by IQ Bar. I've got good news and bad news. Here's the bad news. Most protein bars are packed with sugar and unpronounceable ingredients. The good news, there's a better option. I'm Will and I created IQ Bar plant protein bars to empower doers like you with clean, delicious, low sugar, brain and body fuel. IQ bars are packed with 12 grams of protein brain nutrients like magnesium and Lion's Mane and Zero Weird Stuff. And right now you can get 20% off all IQ Bar products plus free shipping. Try our delicious IQ Bar Sampler Pack with seven plant protein bars, four hydration mixes and four enhanced coffee sticks. Clean ingredients, amazing taste and you'll love how you feel. Refuel smarter, hydrate harder, caffeinate larger with IQ Bar. Go to eatiqbar.com and enter code BAR20. To get 20 off all IQ Bar products plus free shipping. Again go to eatiqbar.com and Enter code BAR20. I think the coolest thing is that Sean Penn got award and didn't show up.
Bobby Lee
Yeah. He was in Ukraine. He gave it to Zelensky Glensky.
Andrew Santino
I love that he gave him his Oscar.
Bobby Lee
Yeah.
Andrew Santino
And he carried it in like a jan sport backpack.
Bobby Lee
Yeah. It's amazing.
Andrew Santino
Bubble wrapped. I thought that was like the funniest.
Bobby Lee
Amazing.
Andrew Santino
It's funny to take something that so many people ch Paris show deer and throw it in like a trapper keeper.
Bobby Lee
Yeah.
Andrew Santino
And give it to a. Look at that. Show the video of him pulling out of a backpack. It's.
Bobby Lee
It's like FIFA giving a FIFA Nobel peace prize to Trump. Remember that? Yeah. Some make believe thing that they have never done before. Sean Pen has a, that there's a vibe about him that I kind of believe. Yeah.
Andrew Santino
I believe everything he is, I think he is extremely him. I don't think.
Bobby Lee
Yeah, I, I, I, I, I don't think that during Hurricane Katrina when he was diving into New Orleans and trying to save people was that. I think he was really trying to save lives.
Andrew Santino
I think he loves that.
Bobby Lee
Yeah. Yeah.
Andrew Santino
You're saying it's not Performative.
Bobby Lee
I don't think it's performative with them. You know, I mean, I think he's just. There's something's wrong. That's not wrong, but they're like. There's. There's like a. Yeah. You know, I mean, an eccentric, you know, personality disorder.
Andrew Santino
100.
Bobby Lee
Yeah. Where it's like, he really believed he went out there. Yeah. Doesn't care about the leeches. Dude, he's been saving lives.
Andrew Santino
He gave the president of Ukraine his own.
Bobby Lee
Yeah. I mean, doesn't he have one already?
Andrew Santino
Yes, two.
Bobby Lee
Yeah. So where are you gonna put it?
Andrew Santino
Next to the other one.
Bobby Lee
I know, but it's like, you know, you would. No, dude, my Oscar. You know what my Oscar would be?
Andrew Santino
Well, your Oscar is more like a.
Bobby Lee
Ask me where my Oscar is.
Andrew Santino
That is a good joke.
Bobby Lee
Yeah, go ahead.
Andrew Santino
I said your Oscar is more like a Juan. You'll never get an Oscar. You'll get a Julio before you get an Oscar.
Bobby Lee
Oh, that's mean. It's not true, though. It's mean.
Andrew Santino
You're never gonna win a Oscar. Are you out of your mind?
Bobby Lee
I was just trying to make a hypothetical game about, like.
Andrew Santino
No. And I was just having fun. I'm just digging you in.
Bobby Lee
Yeah.
Andrew Santino
But, you know, give me your Oscar speech. If you did win. We shouldn't do Oscar jokes. It's so long ago the Oscars. But yours would be at the front door. Yeah.
Bobby Lee
Lights. Yeah.
Andrew Santino
Music. Every time. Right as you open the door, it's like. And Bobby's like, no, I would have
Bobby Lee
a gigantic Oscar holding the Oscar.
Andrew Santino
Yes.
Bobby Lee
Yeah.
Andrew Santino
That's actually awesome.
Bobby Lee
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Andrew Santino
That I would.
Bobby Lee
End lights and. Yeah, yeah. But don't forget the gigantic Oscar. Yeah, yeah.
Andrew Santino
You ever walk into somebody's house. You ever walk into somebody's house and they've got, like, Emmys, plural, you know? And you're like, how did you get
Bobby Lee
a m. I know. Yeah, yeah.
Andrew Santino
Like, you'll go to somebody's house who's like, someone you know in the business, and you're like, you got a Emmy.
Bobby Lee
Yeah.
Andrew Santino
And they're like, yeah, we got three of them. We did this outstanding non scripted, blah, blah, blah thing. Daytime Emmys. And you're like, they give too many, though. I know, but.
Bobby Lee
But I saw. I went to a guy's house, and, like, it was, like, on the bottom, like, there was a bunch of books. It was just the corner of a room. I go, what's that? He goes, that's an Emmy.
Andrew Santino
That's crazy.
Bobby Lee
And I go, I would have A Emmy on top of an Emmy inside of another Emmy inside of another enemy. You know what? It'd be like one of those Russian dolls where.
Andrew Santino
You
Bobby Lee
know what I mean? There'd be so many Emmys within Emmys. You know what I mean? Like. Yeah, but he just put it right in the corner of this. Like, you know, discreet. Just doesn't care about it rusting. That's cool. I think that's cool. I think that's what I would do. How funny. If it. If I did get nominated for something, I.
Andrew Santino
We would. I'd quit the show. It would validate all my hate for the business.
Bobby Lee
Oh, yeah? Yeah. Really?
Andrew Santino
Well, it's all bullshit.
Bobby Lee
Yeah, that would be definitely bullshit. My friends nominated. Well, I'll tell you why I won't. Even if I do a good job in a movie, the reason why I won't is because I can't do the thing that you need to do.
Andrew Santino
Which is.
Bobby Lee
Which is go and shake hands and. You know what I mean?
Andrew Santino
You're so good at that.
Bobby Lee
No, I'm not.
Andrew Santino
You are very.
Bobby Lee
I don't show up to those things.
Andrew Santino
But for this, you would.
Bobby Lee
Oh, you think you gotta. You gotta go to Paris and meet so and so, and you gotta do this and that. You think I would do all those things?
Andrew Santino
Yeah. Have you ever seen the movie Home for Purim?
Bobby Lee
No.
Andrew Santino
It's one of the best. That's like one of the. It's called. That's Not a Mighty Wind, is it? No. For your consideration. Sorry. For your consideration.
Bobby Lee
Yeah.
Andrew Santino
This shitty little movie called Home for Purim. It's a movie inside of a movie and the cast thinks it's a. And then it gets Oscar buzz that they might actually win. So then they all change. They all. They dynamically all change.
Bobby Lee
Yeah.
Andrew Santino
They become, like, so full of themselves, and they all become the fakest version of who they used to be.
Bobby Lee
Oh, that's cool.
Andrew Santino
Oh, it's brilliant.
Bobby Lee
Oh, wow.
Andrew Santino
That's a. Yeah. What's his name? Movie. What's wrong? It's for Guest Christ Movie.
Bobby Lee
Yeah, it really is.
Andrew Santino
Yeah.
Bobby Lee
Oh, wow.
Andrew Santino
Look at the cast, by the way.
Bobby Lee
Yeah.
Andrew Santino
Did we kill yet another celebrity?
Bobby Lee
Yeah, we did.
Andrew Santino
Dude, we gotta stop talking about famous people. We killed Chuck Norris.
Bobby Lee
No, we didn't kill.
Andrew Santino
Yes, we did.
Bobby Lee
Hey, he was 70, 81 years old.
Andrew Santino
No, he was only 68 or 69. 86. 86. Okay.
Bobby Lee
He was. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I think that if they're above 75, we didn't kill them. Yeah.
Andrew Santino
How about 80? If they're above 80?
Bobby Lee
Okay. Above 80, I think he was on his way.
Andrew Santino
86 is a good, good run. Oh, yeah, yeah.
Bobby Lee
That's a really good run. But, you know, Hawaii is where I want to die. Yeah.
Andrew Santino
You've talked about this.
Bobby Lee
Yeah, yeah.
Andrew Santino
Why? Why?
Bobby Lee
Because I saw Rom Das die there. Yeah. I mean, and when it was the last video, it was weird because this is when they had. When I first got. What do you call that? The oxy? Oculus. Yeah. Right. And then there was, like, a thing where you could press and see Ram Dass.
Andrew Santino
Oh, wow.
Bobby Lee
Right, Right. So then, you know, I mean, you go, ram Dass.
Andrew Santino
Right.
Bobby Lee
And he's like a thousand. He looks like a thousand years old.
Andrew Santino
Yes.
Bobby Lee
And he's in Hawaii, and he's going. You know what I mean? Nah, it's just a process. Yeah. You know what he's talking. You know?
Andrew Santino
You know what I mean?
Bobby Lee
It's a. It's a witness to realism, you know, whatever he's talking about. Right. And you could zoom around his body, see all his liver spots and stuff. But then, like. Yeah, but then I was like, it was definitely in Hawaii. Right. And I'm like, oh, this is where you pass.
Andrew Santino
You want to die in Hawaii?
Bobby Lee
I think so. You know, beautiful day in Hawaii with the palm trees. Beautiful day and just sitting there, you know? I mean, maybe in an Oculus. Die on an oculus or something. You know what I mean? But, like, 3D. I want people to see me die in 3D.
Andrew Santino
Sign up for Bad Friends Patreon. We will be. Yeah, we'll be doing a viewing party of Bobby's death, and you can live. Would you do a vlog as I die?
Bobby Lee
Yeah.
Andrew Santino
Why?
Bobby Lee
Until you can't talk. Oh, my God.
Andrew Santino
As I lay dying.
Bobby Lee
Yeah. Yeah.
Andrew Santino
That's so dark.
Bobby Lee
Yeah. But I would pod until I can't talk.
Andrew Santino
You'd be doing a death pod.
Bobby Lee
Yeah, do a death pod.
Andrew Santino
There is a guy that is the guy that got diagnosed with, like, stage four something cancer, and he's doing, like, a pod until he dies.
Bobby Lee
Yeah.
Andrew Santino
There's, like, a guy that was an artist that was doing this.
Bobby Lee
Would you do it?
Andrew Santino
No, because it would be. Let me tell you something.
Bobby Lee
Yeah. If I do, I would do it
Andrew Santino
with you, but if I have terminal cancer, I'm telling you guys now in this room, none of you will ever know.
Bobby Lee
Oh, you would know either if I had it.
Andrew Santino
Yeah. I wouldn't tell anybody. Yeah, I would do it. What's his name? Did.
Bobby Lee
Huh?
Andrew Santino
Norm. Norm. But I was thinking about. What's that? That beautiful actor oh, Chadwick Boseman didn't tell a soul.
Bobby Lee
Yeah, why did. Why?
Andrew Santino
Because you don't want to. You don't want people to treat you differently as you die. He don't want the pity.
Bobby Lee
You.
Andrew Santino
You just don't want someone to treat you different because you're d. When you're dying, people are going to talk to you like a baby because they know you're sick.
Bobby Lee
Okay? What?
Andrew Santino
How was today? Yeah, you don't want any of that. Just treat me like you treat me, and then I'll die.
Bobby Lee
Yeah, Please tell me, though.
Andrew Santino
I would.
Bobby Lee
Dude, please, you have to tell me.
Andrew Santino
Do you want me to tell you now? I. I don't.
Bobby Lee
Like, what stage? Like, if it's stage two, would you
Andrew Santino
tell me how funny. I'm literally, like, withering away and Bob's like, are you okay? Yeah, I'm on the pod. I'm just like. Like, I'm totally fine. Yeah, I'm dying live on the pod.
Bobby Lee
Yeah.
Andrew Santino
No, I wouldn't tell anybody.
Bobby Lee
I really, actually, even me, I think
Andrew Santino
just for me and the old lady would know and I wouldn't tell anybody else.
Bobby Lee
And then one day I show up, you're not here.
Andrew Santino
It's kind of beautiful, isn't it?
Bobby Lee
No, it's not. It's like goodwill hunting. Yeah, then I gotta. Yes, then I gotta call Theo. You want to start one?
Andrew Santino
Yeah, dude. Yeah, I would, but I'm busy.
Bobby Lee
What would I do? I mean, it's over. Yeah, it would be over.
Andrew Santino
Well, I won't die.
Bobby Lee
Don't die with that.
Andrew Santino
All right.
Bobby Lee
All right, dude. All right. Knock on wood. Me either, dude. For at least another five.
Andrew Santino
Five?
Bobby Lee
Yeah, yeah. Give me more than five, you know, we need five more years.
Andrew Santino
The couple next to me said that today. They said it was there. I was eating at the Chinese joint before I left, and the guy was like. Just kind of started drummed up conversation. Nice guy at the casino. I see you guys out here in Vegas doing something special. He's like, it's our anniversary. It's awesome. I was like, yeah, my in laws are gonna, you know, about to do their 50th. And she goes, oh, God, we'll never make it there. And the husband was like, what do you mean? What? What, you're gonna leave me? And she's like, no, I'll be dead in 20 years. I'll be dead. It was their 30th. And I was like, no, you won't be dead. And she's like, I hope so. I was like, God damn. Yeah, it was it made me sad. I was like, no, don't say that.
Bobby Lee
What's coming for all of us.
Andrew Santino
I know, but I don't want to think about it.
Bobby Lee
Yeah.
Andrew Santino
I think about it.
Bobby Lee
That's why I quit smoking.
Andrew Santino
Yeah.
Bobby Lee
To try. Give. Give myself a shot.
Andrew Santino
Get death away from the door.
Bobby Lee
Yeah.
Andrew Santino
Get him to go away. And now we're gonna start exercising.
Bobby Lee
I have been.
Andrew Santino
Go on.
Bobby Lee
Well, I mean, I have.
Andrew Santino
Yeah, go on.
Bobby Lee
I believe you. I mean, I've been. I've been trying to. You know, we do setups.
Andrew Santino
Can I tell you something?
Bobby Lee
Yeah.
Andrew Santino
And this is not an insult.
Bobby Lee
Yeah.
Andrew Santino
But your stomach kind of looks like after someone gets surgery and they have all that extra skin left over because you've lost so much weight.
Bobby Lee
I know.
Andrew Santino
You got to just get that ripped off.
Bobby Lee
No, I don't think I've. I don't have that kind of extra skin.
Andrew Santino
You do.
Bobby Lee
I can sit up. You. You think so?
Andrew Santino
Let's do a tummy tuck for you.
Bobby Lee
Yeah.
Andrew Santino
Yeah.
Bobby Lee
I think I have extra skin.
Andrew Santino
Let me see it again.
Bobby Lee
What? He's gonna gain the weight back, though.
Andrew Santino
Okay. But don't. Okay. Stop sucking it just now.
Bobby Lee
I am.
Andrew Santino
Relax your body. Relax your back.
Bobby Lee
I am.
Andrew Santino
Relax.
Bobby Lee
I am.
Andrew Santino
Yeah.
Bobby Lee
This.
Andrew Santino
It's crazy how skinny you are, but this.
Bobby Lee
Yeah, but I've been doing a lot of sit ups.
Andrew Santino
Have you?
Bobby Lee
Yeah, I do like a thousand a day. Really? You do a thousand a day? Yeah, I try to do a thousand a day. Try to.
Andrew Santino
How many do you actually do? Six.
Bobby Lee
No, I know. No, I'm not kidding you. I do it like when I wake up. I judge. I do it like 150. And then during the day, I'll just keep doing it. Goes to the kitchen for that. Yes, I do.
Andrew Santino
Show me a sit up right now. 150.
Bobby Lee
No, not in a row. Not in a row.
Andrew Santino
What do you mean? You said I do. I do like 150.
Bobby Lee
Yeah. So I'll do like 25. Yeah. Stop. Right. Look out the window. Right. Watch Neighbors on HBO. Right. And then I'll go, you gotta do another 25. So I'll do another 25. Right. Stop. But I'll make sure I get to 150 in the morning.
Andrew Santino
In the.
Bobby Lee
When I wake up.
Andrew Santino
You do 150?
Bobby Lee
Yeah. Yeah. I mean, I just started a week after I quit smoking.
Andrew Santino
Can I see how you do your form?
Bobby Lee
No.
Andrew Santino
Please, please let me see your form. No, I just want to see how you do it. No, I can't do it because you're
Bobby Lee
gonna tease me and it's gonna be mockery. And I don't want. I don't want to do that because it's gonna disappear. What it's gonna do is gonna make me go, oh, don't do them anymore because it's mockery.
Andrew Santino
Of course I'm gonna tease you.
Bobby Lee
That's why I'm not doing it right now, dude. Yeah, but I'm gonna. I'm doing it. I'm gonna do it for a year and see what happens.
Andrew Santino
I'm so proud of you.
Bobby Lee
You'll be ripped. Yeah. Really do it.
Andrew Santino
Yeah, I am.
Bobby Lee
I really am doing it like this. I'm obsessed with it. Yeah.
Andrew Santino
Do you brace your legs with something to like. Because you need weight on your feet.
Bobby Lee
Yeah. So I hook my legs on my cabinet. You do? Yeah. Yeah, like this. And I get cramps in my feet.
Andrew Santino
Well, you drink water.
Bobby Lee
Yeah. And I. And I. And I try to hold this too. So the pain is there. Wow. Yeah. And right now it does hurt. All of it.
Andrew Santino
That's good.
Bobby Lee
Yeah, Good pain. It's all this pain down here. Right.
Andrew Santino
A mat down. Are you doing it?
Bobby Lee
I just do hard ground. You know what I call it? I'm doing old boy doing old boy when he was stuck in that room for 15 years. Right. So I'm only going to do push ups. I'm only going to do push ups and sit ups and just see what that does. Jail. Yeah. Like. Like prison.
Andrew Santino
Well, street. Street workouts. You've seen those guys that only work out, like, they just do pull ups on street lights. Have you seen how jacked these guys are? They go to a jungle gym. These guys are street works out that, that, that. Those two black guys, I've seen these guys, they don't do anything but push ups, sit ups, pull ups, squats. Like this is all.
Bobby Lee
Yeah.
Andrew Santino
From practical outside.
Bobby Lee
Practical outside.
Andrew Santino
No weights.
Bobby Lee
Yeah. Also it's like I went to that place. What's that gym next to my house? Equinox. No. Planet Fitness. So I walked in there and I go, I want to join.
Andrew Santino
No, you didn't.
Bobby Lee
I swear to God on my mother's life.
Andrew Santino
Wow.
Bobby Lee
And I went in there and I go, I want to join. They go, we want to. We need to link. You get your bank account. We don't do credit card membership. And I'm like, what? I don't know how to do that. And I just left. I go, you. I'm leaving. Right. I really was gonna join Planet Fitness. It was right.
Andrew Santino
Fitness would be so funny.
Bobby Lee
It was right by my house. Right by my house. Right.
Andrew Santino
You're never gonna get anything done. People are gonna bother you all day.
Bobby Lee
No, no, I. No, no, I. Dude, I. I put a mask on everything you do. Oh, yeah, yeah.
Andrew Santino
And they can't tell it to you. First of all, you have to cover your eyes if you're gonna cover anything. Not your mouth.
Bobby Lee
A Batman mask. Yeah. I'd like to work out.
Andrew Santino
I came here to work out. Pain better not be in the cold.
Bobby Lee
Yeah. So I went there and they said,
Andrew Santino
welcome to the steam room, Batman.
Bobby Lee
So I. So I. Yeah. So then in my mind, I'm like, you know, and I don't want to go to Equinox. That's where all the supermodels and all the hot people go.
Andrew Santino
The hottest people. It's just.
Bobby Lee
That's why I'm like, I'm just gonna go old boy style. Yeah. And did you sit ups and push ups? Now, you can't tell yet, but maybe if I do it for like a year.
Andrew Santino
You're gonna get jacked.
Bobby Lee
Maybe.
Andrew Santino
But do you remember what you said to me in the car in Australia?
Bobby Lee
What? You'll see.
Andrew Santino
You'll see.
Bobby Lee
You're gonna see.
Andrew Santino
Now, it's already been two years.
Bobby Lee
I. I know, I. I know, but I. Listen, I didn't do anything until this week and a half. And I've been starting every day doing it because I need a. Because I need a new obsession.
Andrew Santino
You're bored, too?
Bobby Lee
Because I'm smoking. I used to smoke. Right. So it's like instead of that, I have so much anxiety, so it's like I have to do it because if I don't, then I get entrenched in Iran.
Andrew Santino
In Iran?
Bobby Lee
Iran. Iran.
Andrew Santino
Oh, yeah. I. I didn't know what you were. I thought it was an app. Put me onto Iran.
Bobby Lee
No, no, like the war. Like, I get obsessed with the war and stuff and what's going on and stuff like that, you know, I mean, and then I. And I get lost in it. It causes me more. More anxiety. So it's like now I'm, you know, I mean, old boying it.
Andrew Santino
You're old boy?
Bobby Lee
Yeah. Like, oh, I. Or I call it the Travis pickle. Yeah. I mean, that more lines up. Yeah. Dirt and the trash in the streets. You know what I mean? It's incel. Talk. Yeah, yeah. It's like. Yeah, I talk to myself. You know what I mean? It's garbage. The human garbage. What Dogs. You know what I mean? You know who's up there in that room? That's my wife. That's my wife. You know who's up in that room?
Andrew Santino
Not my apartment.
Bobby Lee
Yeah, that's not my apartment. You know what I mean? It's a. He's a shooter.
Andrew Santino
What?
Bobby Lee
You're a shooter? Yeah, yeah, yeah, I'm about to.
Andrew Santino
It's a little dangerous.
Bobby Lee
Yeah, Yeah. I just got a rifle. Yeah. I'm traveling. Speckling it.
Andrew Santino
Yeah. Please don't.
Bobby Lee
Yeah, yeah.
Andrew Santino
No, yeah.
Bobby Lee
I'm like, I have like notes from the underground. Thoughts. What does that mean? It's a Dostoevsky book and it's about a guy that's like living in a basement and judging society through like a little opening, you know, I mean. Yeah. You know, I mean, and I do that.
Andrew Santino
So scary.
Bobby Lee
Yeah, yeah.
Andrew Santino
That's such a scary thing to think about.
Bobby Lee
No, I do it.
Andrew Santino
Judging from a windowsill in a basement.
Bobby Lee
Yeah. Oh, yeah.
Andrew Santino
Just piss jars everywhere.
Bobby Lee
Yeah, yeah.
Andrew Santino
FAP all over the place.
Bobby Lee
I'm JD Salinger, dude.
Andrew Santino
One would think.
Bobby Lee
Yeah.
Andrew Santino
That you were. You were very Salingerian.
Bobby Lee
Yeah, yeah. Sal did.
Andrew Santino
If I was an author, which author would I be?
Bobby Lee
Never drinks water.
Andrew Santino
He got calf cramps doing sit ups, so now he's got to fix all that.
Bobby Lee
Can I have another water, please? Yeah.
Andrew Santino
D. You're parched, huh?
Bobby Lee
Yeah, I'm so tired and drained from it. I mean, this week was crazy, bad crazy. We did sack and then I flew straight to Philly, you know, I mean, three days there, one day in la, then went to San Jose. Today I flew back, you know, I mean, I didn't sleep at all. It's like you're on the pit. Slept all day.
Andrew Santino
What the is going on? It's like a camel. No, I love you need it, huh?
Bobby Lee
Yeah. So I'm old boying it.
Andrew Santino
You got old boy it.
Bobby Lee
Yeah.
Andrew Santino
I think you're. I. I believe in you. I believe.
Bobby Lee
I mean, I'm never going to destroy you. I'll never get physically enough, you know, I mean, strong enough. You're just a bigger weight class. Yeah.
Andrew Santino
How's dating going?
Bobby Lee
But I am seeing somebody and what I've been doing is just looking at them and go, are we done? And then she goes, are you sure I got. Yeah. I mean, you did it, right? She goes, yeah, I got there. And then I'll go, I think I'm done.
Andrew Santino
So you're just bailing? What do you mean you're just bailing out? You're not going to try to finish the job?
Bobby Lee
Well, I'll come like some excuse. Like, we did the job, you know, I mean, we got rid of the. You Know what I mean? Most of their military. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. So, you know, I need a. You know, it's called, you know, I mean, an exit strategy. Yeah. So I use an exit strategy. You know what I mean? When we're done.
Andrew Santino
What is it?
Bobby Lee
It's just like at one time what happened was, you know, I mean, she was working so hard and I just grabbed her arms and I go, no,
Andrew Santino
he shook it off.
Bobby Lee
Yeah. And I shook it off. And she goes, are you sure? I got. Yeah.
Andrew Santino
Like a picture to a catcher shaking off the signs. Yeah, I don't want that.
Bobby Lee
But, but, but is it worth it? I don't know.
Andrew Santino
Well, if you're happier.
Bobby Lee
Yeah, I'm happier. And it's also. But here's what's the great thing about it though, is. Is that. Am I boring everybody?
Andrew Santino
No. It's interesting.
Bobby Lee
Are you sure? Yeah. I feel like being boring today.
Andrew Santino
We're listening.
Bobby Lee
Is that what it is?
Andrew Santino
Yeah. People are quiet when you're talking because they're listening.
Bobby Lee
Okay. But what it is, is what helped it.
Andrew Santino
I'm kidding.
Bobby Lee
Are you real?
Andrew Santino
It was a bit. It was a bit because you just asked. But go ahead.
Bobby Lee
The cookies are good.
Andrew Santino
Come on. I'm serious.
Bobby Lee
Okay.
Andrew Santino
It was a bit. You just said something.
Bobby Lee
I just didn't have the motivation or, you know, I mean, it's really weird. That's healthy.
Andrew Santino
Couldn't do it.
Bobby Lee
She was like hugging. I was hugging her and I got kind of half hard. You know how you get half. I know that. Yeah. You know that feeling, right? Yeah, yeah. It's like midway point.
Andrew Santino
Oh, yeah. No turning back.
Bobby Lee
Yeah, it's like neutral. Like India. Yeah. Too much a roar, right? Too much, too much. But using reference.
Andrew Santino
Too much.
Bobby Lee
Way too much. Yeah. Switzerland. What? Switzerland. Yeah. I'm being very neutral. You know what I mean? But it's like another thing that I realized is that a new game came out that I've been anticipating for six months and I haven't played one single bit of it.
Andrew Santino
What is the game?
Bobby Lee
It's called Crimson Desert. Yeah, I think it's Alexa Pro, because it's like I. It's downloaded, you know, I mean, I turned it on and I saw the character walk to. I got him to walk toward like a cabin. And you got Meatpoint. I got point.
Andrew Santino
Yeah.
Bobby Lee
I couldn't even reach the cabin.
Andrew Santino
You got neutral.
Bobby Lee
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Andrew Santino
You got sweet.
Bobby Lee
And my character stopped and I was like, I just turned it off. What? Yeah. And then I just did 25 sit ups.
Andrew Santino
We gotta get. Oh, that's good.
Bobby Lee
Yeah.
Andrew Santino
Some more dry for life.
Bobby Lee
No, it's. It's like. I don't know, it's weird. It's like because I. I play. I use video games to like, not think about my life and not think about my anxiety and stuff, but I don't. I don't have as much. Right. So it's like I have no interest in escapist escapism. You know what I mean? In that way.
Andrew Santino
Yeah.
Bobby Lee
Yeah. So. But it. The. The only downside is, you know, I mean, the climaxing and the orgasm.
Andrew Santino
No coming is a big. That's a.
Bobby Lee
It's a big one. Yeah. You need to talk to your therapist. This isn't therapy. Dude.
Andrew Santino
Is there a spider on your shirt? It's a hole.
Bobby Lee
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Andrew Santino
Well, you're. You. It wouldn't scare me a spider. I just look like one.
Bobby Lee
I know, but it's like I felt like you were trying to scare me.
Andrew Santino
No.
Bobby Lee
Yeah, Yeah. I think that a scorpion maybe.
Andrew Santino
Is that a scorpion on your shirt?
Bobby Lee
Oh, yeah. I mean, but the spider was like. I don't know.
Andrew Santino
It's just.
Bobby Lee
Unless it was like, you know, what's it called? The. The brown one.
Andrew Santino
Brown recluse.
Bobby Lee
The brown recluse. If it was a brown clothes, I'll be scared a little bit.
Andrew Santino
They're in California.
Bobby Lee
Yeah, Yeah. A black widow, probably. But a standard spider, I don't think I'm scared of.
Andrew Santino
You think that's disrespectful to them? That they're called standard spiders? You know, like when they're crawling up with your wall and they're trying to be tough and you go, oh, look, a little standard brown recluse. That's so offensive. A brown recluse.
Bobby Lee
They're brown.
Andrew Santino
Yeah.
Bobby Lee
You know what I mean?
Andrew Santino
How did they get into this country? Is my real is.
Bobby Lee
Yeah, exactly, exactly. Who brought your papers,
Andrew Santino
by the way? Brown recluse, black widow. Notice the theme.
Bobby Lee
Yeah. All right. There's no white one. That's in fact. There's no white spiders.
Andrew Santino
Yeah, there is.
Bobby Lee
Yeah. Genocide right there. Oh, there's one.
Andrew Santino
Yeah, there's one.
Bobby Lee
Yeah. Would you be scared with that one?
Andrew Santino
Yeah, no, it looks. It looks nice and safe.
Bobby Lee
Yeah. It's like, hello, neighbor.
Andrew Santino
White spiders.
Bobby Lee
Okie dokie.
Andrew Santino
White spiders asked to come in your house.
Bobby Lee
Yeah. Yeah.
Andrew Santino
Hey, may I come in? Yeah, come on in.
Bobby Lee
Give some spare butter.
Andrew Santino
White spiders in Arizona. That's really. Those are.
Bobby Lee
Those are cute.
Andrew Santino
Cool looking looking.
Bobby Lee
Yeah, but there's some black in it. Obama style. Can I have Another water, please.
Andrew Santino
Unbelievable. I love this hydration. Do you know why all the Ivy IV girls are hot? I know it. I figured it out. Why are they all.
Bobby Lee
How did you figure it out?
Andrew Santino
Because I got them a bunch of times when I'm on the road and it. And this helped me figure it out because they're. Because they.
Bobby Lee
Oh, here we go.
Andrew Santino
They don't work. And they send a hot girl to distract you from the fact that it doesn't fucking actually do shit. You piss it out five seconds later. It didn't do anything. It's placebo. And here's how I know that's true. Half of these women that are administering these things, I don't even believe they're nurses. These are just fucking chicks who. It's like an agency hired them. I don't think that any of it's real.
Bobby Lee
That's okay. If they're hot, though.
Andrew Santino
I don't want someone stabbing me in the fucking arm with a needle in a bag. So you.
Bobby Lee
You'll never get an IV again.
Andrew Santino
I think they're.
Bobby Lee
I get them every week. Week.
Andrew Santino
And is it working?
Bobby Lee
It is working.
Andrew Santino
On what?
Bobby Lee
My sit ups. All right? My sit ups.
Andrew Santino
In my mind, they're overpriced and they're fake. I know that they're fake. There's vitamins in those bags. But you're.
Bobby Lee
Then why is your pee right a different color?
Andrew Santino
You. You answered my what? You literally validating what I'm saying. You piss it right out.
Bobby Lee
Yeah, but it's the vitamins and all the good stuff that's going through your body.
Andrew Santino
Almost nothing gets absorbed. You can talk to any doctor. They'll tell you you're about your body.
Bobby Lee
It goes to your veins guy.
Andrew Santino
It doesn't absorb. You piss it right out.
Bobby Lee
If my veins absorb.
Andrew Santino
Let me see your veins. Those did absorb.
Bobby Lee
Yeah, yeah, they're absorbing. Giving veins. Dude, you might. You got to get your veins checked.
Andrew Santino
Every doctor I know says it's a scam.
Bobby Lee
Yeah, it's.
Andrew Santino
And they're overpriced and they go, you'll retain such a small percentage of those vitamins. You might as well just take a handful of vitamins at home. Easier than getting a drip for 40 minutes because you want a hot chicken. Your living room.
Bobby Lee
All right, so what?
Andrew Santino
That's what it is.
Bobby Lee
It's cool.
Andrew Santino
See? No, it's a scam.
Bobby Lee
It's not a scam.
Andrew Santino
It's a scam.
Bobby Lee
No, because then they add extra. Do you want extra?
Andrew Santino
Oh, that doesn't sound like a scam. At All.
Bobby Lee
Yeah.
Andrew Santino
Do you want extra something?
Bobby Lee
It's like extra hot sauce at Taco Bell.
Andrew Santino
Yeah. Put it.
Bobby Lee
Yeah. Which one? Diablo.
Andrew Santino
Fire. Fire. Fire.
Bobby Lee
Diablo.
Andrew Santino
Here's why I don't like. Okay, now here's why I don't like Diablo.
Bobby Lee
Yeah.
Andrew Santino
Changes the flavor profile of. Of Taco Bell. Fire is. Is just hot enough. And I buy it at the store. It's on sale right now at Bonds. Yeah, yeah, yeah, it's in my fridge. Yeah, I have four bottles.
Bobby Lee
I. Oh, I got six bottles of Aardvark.
Andrew Santino
I have nine bottles of shoe leather aardvark.
Bobby Lee
You know aardvark? Yeah, yeah. Great hot sauce.
Andrew Santino
Nine bottles of it.
Bobby Lee
Yeah. I ordered it on Shop on my phone.
Andrew Santino
On Shop.
Bobby Lee
It's called Shop on my phone.
Andrew Santino
Is it like Amazon Shop?
Bobby Lee
I don't know what it is, but yeah. The reason why I don't use Amazon anymore, because all my deliveries go to this girl I used to hit on in Phoenix because she was sick one time. And you forget to do that? Yeah, I forgot to do the address. So she. She texted me last week. I got 12 bottles of Aardvark, and I go, oh, and I finally figured out how to change the address.
Andrew Santino
You mean enjoy the aardvark, though?
Bobby Lee
Yeah.
Andrew Santino
I mean, what a gift.
Bobby Lee
Aardvark's great.
Andrew Santino
She goes, I got 12. You're, like, thinking of you.
Bobby Lee
Yeah. And then here's what I also have been doing lately, and I don't know if, you know, this is a good thing, but you ever. You ever go to the farmers market every day? No.
Andrew Santino
You want to walk around the farmers market and see, like, a. Like, four. By the way, it's. Three of the bins are the same thing. It's like, oh, is this lettuce again? From this guy? A different guy. It's a honey guy. Four lettuce stands, two egg ladies.
Bobby Lee
Oh, my God. What are you talking about?
Andrew Santino
And how many candles?
Bobby Lee
There's a sticker shop. Oh, all right. There's a nut shop. Oh, all right. I'm not going there for lettuce guy.
Andrew Santino
It's a scam.
Bobby Lee
It's not a scam.
Andrew Santino
Farmers markets are the IV of groceries.
Bobby Lee
Let me tell you something about fucking the farmers market. Which farmers market are you talking about? I'm Third Street.
Andrew Santino
Third Street?
Bobby Lee
Yeah, the. The farmer's market. The. That farmers market. Oh, the. The Grove and farmers. Why did the Grove.
Andrew Santino
Brother, we're talking about farmers.
Bobby Lee
No, I'm talking about the third street farmers market.
Andrew Santino
All of us thought the other thing.
Bobby Lee
Oh, you did Yeah, I got you. You got me on third street. What about for you, McConnell?
Andrew Santino
Oh, I thought you meant a real farmer. A farmer's market.
Bobby Lee
Oh, so the farmer's market on Thursday is not a real farmer's market. Oh, what is it called?
Andrew Santino
The mall? It's the Grove.
Bobby Lee
It's called the Grove. No, it's called the Farmers.
Andrew Santino
Yes, that's the name of it.
Bobby Lee
But it's called. But no one calls it that.
Andrew Santino
Nobody called that.
Bobby Lee
Also, in big letters, it says the Farmer's Market. Yes, but no one calls it that.
Andrew Santino
No, first of all, nobody go. Nobody goes there.
Bobby Lee
Yeah, yeah. Hey, Pepsi. No one calls that. It's brown Juice. What are you talking about?
Andrew Santino
It is Brown Juice Market.
Bobby Lee
But look at. It's on a temple. I know, but what do you call that?
Andrew Santino
A farmer's market. Farmers market that we're referring to is a thing that's come and go. This is a permanent far. It's permanent.
Bobby Lee
All right, so next time we'll say permanent farmers market.
Andrew Santino
Well, say. Say, you know the farmers market at the Grove? That's what everybody said.
Bobby Lee
I'll do. I'll say that from now.
Andrew Santino
Am I right? Am I right? Everyone goes, oh, the farmers market. That's a farmer's market. There's nine people making candles, six people selling lettuce and one bitch selling eggs. It's the fucking worst. They're. They're dog shit. Look at that. Oranges. Don't need them. Don't need them. But can I finish?
Bobby Lee
Listen, can I finish my farmers.
Andrew Santino
The farmer's market at the Grove is phenomenal.
Bobby Lee
Sticker shop.
Andrew Santino
No, it's phenomenal.
Bobby Lee
Yeah, but there's all kinds.
Andrew Santino
But it's a fucking mall. It's a mall with permanent restaurants.
Bobby Lee
But can I just. So there's a. There's a hot sauce store there.
Andrew Santino
A hot. Hot sauce bar. Yeah.
Bobby Lee
That's not a bar.
Andrew Santino
That's just a name. A hot sauce bar.
Bobby Lee
Okay. Okay. I'm sorry. I'm being combative.
Andrew Santino
I like it.
Bobby Lee
Okay, so there's a hot sauce place there, and then there's the. I. And I always buy. I don't know why. And I have a cabinet filled. I go, where's the hottest one?
Andrew Santino
You want to just have it?
Bobby Lee
I now have it. Like, I have the source.
Andrew Santino
But you're not gonna put it on anything.
Bobby Lee
All right. No, just.
Andrew Santino
Do you dip the finger?
Bobby Lee
I have the one that's shaped like a devil. I have devil's blood. You know, I mean, the devil's blood. Yeah, I mean, I have the you know, I mean, the hottest ones that you could buy. The most expensive ones. Very cool. Yeah. Give me a Devil's Blood. Yeah, that one in the top. Yeah, that's. Yeah, Satan's. Satan's Blood. Yeah. Yeah, I have a couple of bottles.
Andrew Santino
Hey, what's up? It's Mikey. Today we're doing Satan's Blood. So stupid.
Bobby Lee
Yeah, yeah, but I just, you know.
Andrew Santino
But you collect them.
Bobby Lee
Because I collect. I don't use them. I have the source, too. The sources. Look at the sources. Bottle. Have we talked about the source?
Andrew Santino
No.
Bobby Lee
The source Hot sauce.
Andrew Santino
Yeah, the source Hot sauce.
Bobby Lee
Look at the way it comes out. Like a mind. It's like a book. Ancient. It's ancient. No, it comes in that. And then. Yeah, it's like that. It is so hot.
Andrew Santino
It's 7.1 million Scoville units. Rory Scoville rated this 7.1 million Scoville's. What is. So what is the average Scoville units of, like, a bottle of Cholula? Give me that.
Bobby Lee
Here's the kid again. Yeah.
Andrew Santino
Hey, guys, I'm trying the Source again. It's Mikey. Give me the Scoville units of a bottle of Cholula. And let's guess, because it's 7.1 million for the source. I'm guessing regular Cholula hot sauce is like 500. Yeah, yeah, I was just gonna say a thousand. Scoville A thousand and two thousand. I was right on the money, baby.
Bobby Lee
What?
Andrew Santino
Scoville units? The heat units. That's how they measure heat.
Bobby Lee
And that's of what? Hot sauce.
Andrew Santino
Okay, so just for like, Cholula, regular tables, tabletop, Cholula, a thousand to two thousand. The one you have is 7.1 million. Yeah, that's absurdist.
Bobby Lee
I know.
Andrew Santino
You couldn't.
Bobby Lee
You gotta try it.
Andrew Santino
No, it's. What do you know? It's gonna fry your tongue.
Bobby Lee
So one time, me and Jordan Peele went to that hot sauce place and we got the sores, and we took a toothpick on your tongue and we dipped a toothpick and we stuck on our tongue. And it was the most painful thing. It was like alien blood from the movie Alien. You could hear the sizzle. You know what I mean? It is so hot. This guy's A card that says he survived the hot sauce? Yeah. Yeah, it's a hot sauce.
Andrew Santino
Oh, he just. He just tried it once. Yeah.
Bobby Lee
You get a card. You get a card. I don't have the card.
Andrew Santino
We gotta get you a card.
Bobby Lee
You gotta get. You got a car, too, then I'll
Andrew Santino
go get a card with you.
Bobby Lee
Would you try it?
Andrew Santino
Yeah. It's just gonna be an annoy. So painful it's going to ruin a part of your day.
Bobby Lee
Yeah.
Andrew Santino
We learned a lot. We learned that you're going to be. You're going to be getting a six pack. I, at the very least, get a two pack. Get a two pack, Shakur. But from doing setups, I think you can. I think you really can if you're really doing 150 a day.
Bobby Lee
Yeah, no, just in the morning. In the morning he said more.
Andrew Santino
What are you doing in the afternoon?
Bobby Lee
I tried to do a thousand.
Andrew Santino
Can you videotape it? No, because I want proof.
Bobby Lee
Well, I mean, hopefully it'll show on my body.
Andrew Santino
I don't think it will.
Bobby Lee
You don't think it will.
Andrew Santino
I don't.
Bobby Lee
You don't think sit ups that many times? I think you count one, and then you lay there for 10 minutes and you think, oh, I did 200. You think I was some sort of Asian math. Yes.
Andrew Santino
You guys are tricky. Yeah, well, I can't wait to see it. I want to see the results.
Bobby Lee
Maybe you won't.
Andrew Santino
Won't. Maybe I won't.
Bobby Lee
Yeah, maybe you won't. You know, because it's condescending and it's. It's negative.
Andrew Santino
I'm not doing a thousand.
Bobby Lee
Disruptive. It's disruptive. It's in. Not encouraging.
Andrew Santino
You know, I mean, discouraging.
Bobby Lee
You're discouraging.
Andrew Santino
No, I said I want you to prove that you're doing it.
Bobby Lee
Yeah. It's draconian. Yeah. Yeah. It's draconian.
Andrew Santino
Is it?
Bobby Lee
Yeah. Yeah. Harsh.
Andrew Santino
It's harsh. Draconian.
Bobby Lee
Yeah. Another. Learn another word. I learned through the tick tocks.
Andrew Santino
I was just gonna say this is the war.
Bobby Lee
The war.
Andrew Santino
There's a war thing. Ryan Reynolds here from Mint Mobile with a message for everyone paying big wireless way too much. Please, for the love of everything good in this world, stop. With Mint, you can get premium wireless for just 15amonth. Of course, if you enjoy overpaying, no judgments. But that's weird. Okay, one judgment. Anyway, give it a try. @mintmobile.com Switch upfront payment of $45 for 3 month plan equivalent to $15 per month Required intro rate first 3 months only, then full price plan options available, taxes and fees extra. See full terms@mintmobile.com thank you for being a bad friend.
Bobby Lee
It's a war.
Hosts: Bobby Lee & Andrew Santino
Date: April 20, 2026
This lively episode of Bad Friends captures Bobby and Andrew in peak form, riffing on comedy greenroom etiquette, interactions with fans and Uber drivers, nightclub misadventures, drug stories, personal fitness, addiction, and life’s anxieties. The tone is light, fast-paced, and full of self-deprecation and banter—with moments of sincere reflection undercut by quick jokes.
(01:09 – 08:14)
(08:48 – 12:23)
(13:37 – 29:53)
(15:03 – 17:59)
(55:02 – 77:29)
(26:18 – 30:19; 63:14 – 66:14)
(73:31 – 74:47)
(45:31 – 54:47)
(37:38 – 40:11; sporadic)
On intrusive comics:
"It's not my laugh. It's their laugh. You know? I mean, it's the residue laugh." (01:28 - Bobby Lee)
On overzealous openers:
"No. Feature smiles. No, no, no. I need a frown. I know how well you did. I heard it." (04:24 - Bobby Lee)
On microdosing mushrooms:
"When I microdose, I do feel like at the end of the day I don't have as much anxiety before I go to bed..." (26:12 - Andrew Santino)
On the pain of letting go of old routines:
"Because I've been there so long that it just kind of makes me want to go this again." (15:51 - Bobby Lee)
Bobby’s gym adventure:
"I went in there and I go, I want to join. They go, we want to... link you get your bank account. We don't do credit card membership. And I'm like, what? I don't know how to do that. And I just left." (58:25)
On Uber driver encounters:
"I'm literally just yelling at him like that in the car. Yeah, I love Pakistan is grape!" (10:00 - Andrew Santino)
On personal change:
"I haven't come in three weeks." (26:18 - Bobby Lee)
Meta-podcasting on dying:
“I want people to see me die in 3D… I would pod until I can’t talk.” (51:56, 52:14 - Bobby Lee)
On permanent farmers markets:
"No, I'm talking about the Third Street farmers market... But look at—it's on a temple. I know, but what do you call that?" (71:58 - Bobby Lee)
This episode is a prime example of Bad Friends’ mix of brash, fast banter and surprising vulnerability—the hosts weave back and forth between meta-comedy, confessional, and pure riffing. It’s an episode stuffed with callbacks, inside jokes, and sharp commentary on both showbiz and personal growth, peppered with physical comedy and absurd running jokes. The “chatty, chatty bang bang” mood persists throughout as Bobby and Andrew riff off each other for laughs but land on real, if fleeting, moments of candor.