Coffee In the Pool w/ the Island Girls

Summary

Bad Friends Podcast: "Coffee In the Pool w/ the Island Girls"

Hosts: Bobby Lee & Andrew Santino
Guests: Rudy (Jules) & Issa
Release Date: June 24, 2026

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Episode Overview

This episode of Bad Friends is a classic, unpredictable hang with Bobby Lee and Andrew Santino, characterized by playful bickering, absurd humor, personal stories, and a visit from "the Island Girls"—Rudy (Jules) and Issa. The conversation covers everything from pet peeves and comedy isms, to Filipino gang names and camping disasters, peppered throughout with inside jokes, family dynamics, and a touch of poignant goodbyes as Rudy prepares to leave the U.S.

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Main Discussion Points

1. Classic Banter & Isms (00:00–13:00)

• Bobby’s Zen Vibe & Bumper Stickers:
  Bobby arrives in a "Miyagi" mood, pondering living in the present. Annoyed by a bumper sticker (“If you get near me, I drive slower”), he jokes he’d get a sticker saying, “Well, then I’ll crash into you.”
  Andrew (00:43): "You just have to drive in front of them after you see it."

• Unusual Baby Names:
  They riff on ruined names (Karen, Adolf, Pol Pot), challenging each other to name a baby nobody else has.
  Bobby (01:31): "You can’t beat zero, dude."

• Movie Review — "Obsession":
  Andrew discusses seeing the thriller "Obsession," critiquing its premise and writing.
  Andrew (05:16): “Wouldn’t that have been better?... Like, I wish Nikki Howard was crazy for me.” Bobby retorts: "You gotta take the writer's hat off when you go to a movie."

• Comedy Algorithm Annoyances & "Isms" Game:
  Bobby admits his own isms (repetitive phrases) bug him and proposes a game: Every time he repeats an "ism" during the show, he owes $5.

  • Common Bobby isms called out:
    • "Can I say something?"
    • “The thing is, is that...”
    • “Yeah, yeah, yeah”
    • “Are you out of your fucking mind, dude?”
  • The group adds and debates more potential isms, with much laughter and mock penalties.
    Andrew (12:39): "$5. No, that's not $5. Yeah. Three yeses!"

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2. Hollywood Stories, Tattoos, and Hosting "the Island Girls" (13:00–19:30)

• Debate about Indie Movie Budgets:
  The success of low-budget films raises questions about industry sustainability. Andrew (13:32): "Someone makes a lot of money, and everyone makes no money now."

• Tattoos & Comedy Store Anecdotes:
  Bobby shows off his new Arsenal FC tattoo and talks about getting others removed. Laughter erupts at his “Elmo laugh” (15:53-15:58).

• Jules and Issa Join:
  The vibe shifts as Rudy (Jules) and Issa enter, and Andrew comments on a recent, awkward birthday party.
  Andrew (15:56): “I walk in…they’re sitting in a circle…in suits. No one’s talking. This is not a party.”
  Bobby admits Jules' friends are “very weird”:
  Bobby (16:12): “His friends are very weird.”

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3. Comedy Store Drama: The Reserved Table Incident (18:09–24:00)

• Bobby’s Dilemma:
  Bobby tells a story about rearranging his plans and getting a reserved table for friends at the Comedy Store—only for them to no-show. He feels slighted, especially since the seats could have been sold.

• Handling Disappointment:
  Bobby ignores their apologetic text, but the friend later shows up at his home with gifts, which he avoids by hiding in his room.
  Andrew (23:41): “She was in your home—and you never said hi?”
  Bobby (23:47): “No way.”

• Family & Cleaning Challenges:
  With Rudy’s mom (Bobby’s housekeeper) leaving, Bobby worries about house upkeep and doubts Rudy’s assurances she’ll pick up the slack. Bobby (40:14): “Yeah, she’s gonna be gone for three months now... Do you know anybody that can help me?” Rudy (40:25): “Yeah, I will, I swear.” Santino: “You gotta prove yourself.”

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4. Absurd Antics: Coffee Pools & Shirt Distressing (32:50–35:07)

• Bobby’s DIY Project:
  Bobby admits to using instant coffee in the pool to distress white t-shirts, prompting the pool guy’s concern. Andrew (33:05): “Why is your pool black?” Bobby (33:13): “No, it’s instant coffee…not grounds.”

• Distressing Techniques:
  Bobby shares (and then undermines) his “distressing tricks” for clothing, including sandpaper, rocks, and eventually outsourcing it to professionals.

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5. Island Life: Filipino Culture and Gangs (35:35–56:33)

• UNO King & Goop(=Gong) Farmers:
  Bobby boasts about dominating at Uno, using real "king" tactics—like bribery.
  The group discovers the term “gong farmers” (medieval poop collectors) and riffs on odd jobs.

• Filipino Gangs & Initiation Stories:
  They explore Filipino gang culture, with Rudy explaining gang names (e.g., Sputnik, Bahala Na, TBS), and hilariously describing childhood “initiations” like eating a dead frog and refusing the customary spanking.
  Rudy (58:41): “Have like dead frogs and they would eat this…”
  Bobby (58:45): “You have to eat a dead frog? That doesn't sound that bad of an initiation.”

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6. Family Farewells & Cultural Observations (39:05–54:00)

• Rudy Leaving, Family Dynamics:
  Rudy and her mother are soon returning to the Philippines—potentially for a year. Bobby laments losing his “familiars” and the cleaning help. Andrew (39:03): “Wait, you’re gonna be gone for the rest of the year?” Rudy: "Yeah...my school starts [immediately when I get back]."

• Dining and Fridge Mysteries:
  There’s debate about expired food in the fridge:
  Bobby: “You think meat for three weeks in a fridge is fine?”
  Rudy (48:52): “No, we’re not having diarrhea, so it’s good.”

• Goodbye & Homecoming Jokes:
  The vibe turns sentimental as farewells approach, but humor persists.
  Bobby (70:10): “We are gonna miss you. And I also believe that you’re gonna miss being here.”

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7. More Personal Stories: Camping, Survival, and American Life (54:06–End)

• Camping Fails:
  Rudy recounts a miserable camping trip powered by only phone flashlights, mustard sandwiches, and fear of nighttime yellers. Andrew (66:12): “Now that is scary.” Bobby: “I will never camp, ever.”

• Reflections on Life in America:
  Rudy admits to mostly “walking around, coffee, nothing” during her U.S. stay, leading to good-natured ribbing.
  Andrew (47:47): “So you really took advantage of coming to America.”

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• On “Isms” (09:05):

  • Bobby: “So every time I say an ism now, I’m gonna give McCone $5.”
  • Andrew: “No, no, no, no, no, no, no.”
  • Bobby: “We’re getting the isms out now. Then the game begins.”

• Elmo Laugh Penalties (15:53):

  • Andrew: “There’s Elmo laugh, $15 bucks.”
  • Bobby: “Yeah, there’s an Elmo laugh. Because that was so funny what you just said.”

• Camping Horror (65:01):

  • Bobby: “I will never camp, ever.”
  • Andrew (65:17): “Also, the ground is very uncomfortable. I don’t care how comfortable you are.”

• Food Customs (48:52):

  • Bobby: “You think meat for three weeks in a fridge is fine?”
  • Rudy: “No, we’re not having diarrhea, so it’s good.”

• On Filipino Gangs (56:36):

  • Andrew: “It’s Flip Flop Boys. The Flip Flop Boys are bad boys.”

• Sentimental Farewell (70:10):

  • Bobby: “We are gonna miss you. And I also believe that you’re gonna miss being here.”

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Important Timestamps

• "Isms" game setup & penalty laughter: [09:05–13:01]
• Comedy Store / Reserved Table incident: [18:09–24:00]
• Island Girls join the episode: [15:27–18:07]
• Filipino gang culture riff: [35:35–56:33]
• Fridge food debate: [48:01–49:02]
• Camping and survival stories: [54:06–65:49]
• Goodbyes to Rudy & reflections: [69:00–70:45]

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Final Thoughts & Episode Tone

The episode encapsulates Bad Friends’ signature tone: irreverent, familial, and self-roasting. Sharp wit, affectionate ribbing, and personal anecdotes weave between topics as the hosts and guests drift from cultural commentary to bizarre domestic tales. The “isms” game adds meta-comedy, while Rudy’s departure brings some genuine sweetness to the chaos—making the episode feel both like a send-off and a homecoming for listeners.

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For New Listeners

If you haven’t heard the episode, expect:

• Rapid-fire inside jokes and friendly insults
• Behind-the-scenes glimpses into LA comedy life
• Exploration of quirky Filipino customs and youth
• Riffs on name trends, tattoos, and why camping sucks
• A bittersweet undercurrent as family members say goodbye

The wild, affectionate, and honest energy between Santino, Lee, and the "Island Girls" makes this episode classic Bad Friends.

Transcript

[Rudy]

You two are bad friends.

[Bobby Lee]

Who are these two idiots? White dude and an Asian dude. You two are disgusting. You two or something.

[Rudy]

We're bad friends.

[Andrew Santino]

What's going on with you today? You feel like you're. Yeah. You're very Miyagi today.

[Bobby Lee]

It's a Sunday.

[Andrew Santino]

Teach us Miyagi.

[Bobby Lee]

I woke up and it's like. You know when you have one foot in the past and one foot in the future, you're pissing on? Today I'm living in the moment.

[Andrew Santino]

Are we gonna do a bunch of Chinese proverbs?

[Bobby Lee]

Proverbs. I'm just saying that I had. I saw a bumper sticker driving over here. Made me kind of mad.

[Andrew Santino]

What did it say?

[Bobby Lee]

It said, if you drive. If you get near me, I drive slower.

[Andrew Santino]

Oh.

[Bobby Lee]

So I want a bumper sticker in my front window says, well, then I'll crash into you.

[Andrew Santino]

You just have to drive in front of them after you see it.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah, I went to the side just to see what they look like.

[Andrew Santino]

What did they look like?

[Bobby Lee]

It's an old white lady.

[Rudy]

A Karen.

[Bobby Lee]

E. Karen. Pass. Stay hydrated.

[Andrew Santino]

Look up how many babies born in 2026 named Karen? Like, nine, probably. Yeah, I think that ruined the name Karen.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah. Adolf is ruined.

[Andrew Santino]

No, no, that one's back.

[Bobby Lee]

It's. Adolph is back. Oh.

[Andrew Santino]

What does it say? How many babies named Karen Plummeted. The name plummeted.

[Bobby Lee]

It plummeted.

[Andrew Santino]

It fell out of the top eight. Pull.

[Bobby Lee]

Pot.

[Andrew Santino]

Pull. Yeah.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah. P. See if. Pull, pot.

[Andrew Santino]

Poty. See if pot.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah. Pull. Potato. K. Zero. Zero. Zero. I created a name. Zero.

[Andrew Santino]

Why?

[Bobby Lee]

Why? Because he was a bad guy. Give me a name. You can't beat. You can't beat zero, dude.

[Andrew Santino]

Yes, I can.

[Bobby Lee]

That's a. I mean, I'm that. I'm champ right now. How many babies I'm name Champ right now, dude.

[Andrew Santino]

How many babies in 2026?

[Bobby Lee]

You can't make up a name that no one's ever had. Like

[Andrew Santino]

Hitler.

[Bobby Lee]

No, no, Just say a name. In the past, how Many people in

[Andrew Santino]

2026 were named Genghis Khan?

[Bobby Lee]

Genghis.

[Andrew Santino]

No, you said Pol Pot.

[Bobby Lee]

Genghis does not appear in the top thousand recorded by baby. Yeah, but it's still not zero.

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah, but pole would be a name. That would be a baby. But you said pole. Pot.

[Bobby Lee]

You said Genghis Khan.

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah, Genghis Khan.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah. Okay. All right.

[Andrew Santino]

I'm saying.

[Bobby Lee]

All right.

[Andrew Santino]

Zero babies named Genghis in 2024.

[Bobby Lee]

If I ever. Baby. That's what it is.

[Andrew Santino]

We're tied. Genghis Pot.

[Bobby Lee]

All right. All right. And that's it. All right. We were tied. We're tied. We don't have to play. Well, there's no way to go lower.

[Andrew Santino]

Okay.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah. There's no way to go lower. Yeah. Yeah.

[Andrew Santino]

So I saw Obsession last night.

[Bobby Lee]

Did I not tell you it was good? Did you think it was good?

[Andrew Santino]

What did I. I called m. Why you tell me. I. I called. I called McCone. I went and got pizza. I called McCone.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah.

[Andrew Santino]

What did I say?

[Bobby Lee]

Terrible movie. What did you like about this movie? What was good about it?

[Andrew Santino]

And then he goes, ever the contrarian.

[Bobby Lee]

I did say. You said that. Ever the contrarian.

[Andrew Santino]

Douchebag.

[Bobby Lee]

Douchebag.

[Andrew Santino]

And I go, what are you doing? He's like, hold on. Sorry, man. I'm at Kara to go back in. They just picked my song.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah. Did you go to the place on Wilshire? What was it called? The Monkey Bar. What's it called? I don't know, but it had a bunch of Egyptian stuff in it. But it was.

[Andrew Santino]

It's called Brass Monkey.

[Bobby Lee]

Brass Monkey. Oh, yeah, yeah. Well, I was close. There's monkey in it.

[Andrew Santino]

I mean, Beastie Boys, dude.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah, yeah. Brass Monkey. There's one on Wil.

[Andrew Santino]

Funky Monkey.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah. And it's a huge.

[Andrew Santino]

It's a massive car. We've been.

[Bobby Lee]

We've been there. Yeah.

[Andrew Santino]

You didn't go to that one with how many private rooms? Was it like a row of rooms?

[Bobby Lee]

It was a lot of private rooms. Yeah.

[Andrew Santino]

Maybe that was it.

[Bobby Lee]

Oh, it's in Koreatown. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I've been to that one. It was fun downstairs. And then they had the. The girls that you can bring in. Why? Why not?

[Andrew Santino]

Dudes only.

[Bobby Lee]

That's the question you have to ask yourself. Why not?

[Andrew Santino]

Why not?

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah. Yeah. Why are you asking why? Always. You always say why not? You know what I mean? But why is it. What does that to do with karaoke? I don't know. But Koreans, they just do the. You know.

[Andrew Santino]

Anybody's allowed it.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah, no, but you know how they.

[Andrew Santino]

What they.

[Bobby Lee]

What do they call them, Carlos?

[Andrew Santino]

They're like. They' like. They're like a. A. I was going to that hang at your table.

[Bobby Lee]

They're not Gishas, dude. This not Japan. No. Here in America.

[Andrew Santino]

No.

[Bobby Lee]

They have hostess girls. Hostess girls. That's all. Yeah.

[Andrew Santino]

How did we not get that?

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Andrew Santino]

Host. Yeah, they're hostess.

[Bobby Lee]

They're hostess girls.

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah. They're friends.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah. And then they. They. They try to sell you on a, you know, a really expensive bottle of whatever and they flirt with you, right? You guys sing together.

[Andrew Santino]

You buy the bottle.

[Bobby Lee]

You buy the bottle and then they just disappear. I don't know. They're like ninjas. They're not geishas, they're ninjas. Parishes, after you. You pay the bill, they're just gone. Gone. Why don't you love me? Yeah.

[Andrew Santino]

I did not. I unfortunately wasn't a big fan.

[Bobby Lee]

Did your wife like it?

[Andrew Santino]

No, you weren't.

[Bobby Lee]

You didn't like it? I, I thought it was a good pr.

[Andrew Santino]

I'll tell you this. A good premise. Very good premise.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah.

[Andrew Santino]

We were hanging. They, they hung the film on the premise. And there was no great twists for me. There wasn't enough where I was like, whoa, I didn't. Oh, wow. And then my biggest point that I made on the phone to him was he breaks it and he says, I want Nikki, whatever her last name is, to love me more than any one or anything. One of the two things in the world that didn't justify the behavior to me. It should have been a clever phrase that would have been gray enough. Like, I wish Nikki Howard was crazy for me. I said that when I walked out,

[Bobby Lee]

I was like, your writer's hat on.

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah.

[Andrew Santino]

Wouldn't that have been better?

[Bobby Lee]

You got to take it off when you go to a movie. Live without me.

[Andrew Santino]

Something big. Yeah. Something that was like, okay, okay. Also. Oh, you didn't. You didn't think she was going to feed him.

[Rudy]

The cat.

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah, she packed him lunch. Saw that coming for fucking 50 miles.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah. And also, when your cat dies, you don't keep it near your house.

[Andrew Santino]

Bury it.

[Bobby Lee]

No, you. Like when Remy died. When my dog died two, three months

[Andrew Santino]

ago, you enshrined him in a throne. He's in your living room.

[Bobby Lee]

I know, I understand. But you had. I had him mummified.

[Andrew Santino]

It's lock and key.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah, you gotta, yeah, you take the meat out.

[Andrew Santino]

Gotta take the meat out.

[Bobby Lee]

You gotta put them in a funny position with a tuxedo and a hat. You know, this is what I did. But my point. No, I didn't do that. We had somebody take them to a facility and he's. We, we got his ashes. Like, what the is he doing? Not keep. Did he bury it in the backyard?

[Andrew Santino]

I don't think they showed anything like that. We are doing spoilers, but it's been out at this point for, you know, two months, so.

[Bobby Lee]

Right.

[Andrew Santino]

Anyway, no, I, I what? I enjoy.

[Bobby Lee]

You weren't scared at all?

[Andrew Santino]

No, dude, I'm a 43 year old man. Wasn't Scared.

[Rudy]

Okay.

[Andrew Santino]

The girl being like, you do that in the studio.

[Bobby Lee]

I know I do that. I know I do that. I know.

[Andrew Santino]

It's not that crazy.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah, yeah. But I have ticks. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh, here's another. I, I. And I'm gonna offer McCone some money, and this is what the deal is if you want to hear my new thing. Yeah. I've been, for some reason, bad friends, and other part, my podcasts have been popping up in my algorithm. I'm trying to stay, you know, with, you know, the things I want to watch, which is why Carlos like people in Africa doing things.

[Andrew Santino]

Football clips and people in India doing.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah, yeah. I like, you know. You know, and. But for some reason, comedy is, like, coming up.

[Andrew Santino]

Oh, good.

[Bobby Lee]

Like, when you see your friend doing stand up, you just. You go fast, right?

[Andrew Santino]

I shut my phone off. If I see someone I know in like a. What's going on? Who's this girl?

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah, yeah.

[Andrew Santino]

Right away.

[Bobby Lee]

Especially a crowd work kind of video, I go fast.

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah, I'm out.

[Bobby Lee]

But anyway, I realized, well, so I had a book signing yesterday. No, I know it's real, but it's

[Andrew Santino]

just such a funny phrase for you to say, because most people that book signings, they wrote a book.

[Bobby Lee]

He's never laughed that much ever. Okay, get it out. Get it all out, man.

[Andrew Santino]

What's the book? Oh, there was deadway. Cartoon.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah. It's not a cartoon.

[Andrew Santino]

What is it?

[Bobby Lee]

It's called literature.

[Andrew Santino]

It's animated.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah.

[Rudy]

Yeah.

[Andrew Santino]

So it's a graphic novel.

[Bobby Lee]

It's a graphic novel.

[Andrew Santino]

It's a cartoon. No, but it's awesome.

[Bobby Lee]

All right.

[Andrew Santino]

I actually read it, by the way. I read it. It's in our front room. I read one.

[Rudy]

Okay.

[Bobby Lee]

I only have one.

[Andrew Santino]

Huh?

[Bobby Lee]

I only have one.

[Andrew Santino]

Well, it took a series. Took about five minutes.

[Bobby Lee]

All right. I think Dr. Just say, I read it.

[Andrew Santino]

I read it.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's not Harry Potter. You know what I mean?

[Andrew Santino]

I really enjoyed it.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah, no, you didn't. I don't care.

[Andrew Santino]

Yes, I did.

[Bobby Lee]

I don't care what you think about it. Now you're getting me riled up. I try to be Zen.

[Andrew Santino]

Anyway, book signing.

[Bobby Lee]

And so, you know, one guy said, can you write this now? This is a war, Bobby Lee. And I go, why would you want me to write that? He goes, it's something that you say,

[Andrew Santino]

you say on the show all the time, right?

[Bobby Lee]

And then I go, what are some other things I say? You know what I mean? And then also, I'm watching algorithms. And so there's certain isms that I have that drive me crazy. That I do. So every time I say an ism, now, I'm gonna give McCone $5. Nice.

[Andrew Santino]

What's the. Give me.

[Bobby Lee]

I'll give you those. Some of the things that I. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Andrew Santino]

Is. Is that.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah. Is. Is that the thing? Is. Is that. Yeah, yeah. Can I say something? $5.

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah.

[Bobby Lee]

No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no.

[Andrew Santino]

As well. $5.

[Bobby Lee]

No, we're saying. No, no, we're saying, though.

[Andrew Santino]

No, no, no, no. $5.

[Bobby Lee]

We're saying what they are now, and then they're gonna be a time when. Then the game begins. Thousands of dollars from now on. Yeah, yeah. There's no way I'm giving you 25 bucks right now. All right? So I'm just telling. Let's get the isms out now. And then if I say them, I give McGown and we'll add it up through time, and then I'll give them money.

[Andrew Santino]

Okay.

[Bobby Lee]

All right, so let's write them out. So it's. I think two years is fine. Three years.

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, it's three.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah, it's got to be three. Yeah. So if I say, yeah, that's fine. I can say two nos.

[Andrew Santino]

No, you get one.

[Bobby Lee]

No, I get. That's not fair.

[Andrew Santino]

Dude. This is your ism rule.

[Bobby Lee]

All right? This is my ism rule. All right, so type it. Are you writing it down?

[Andrew Santino]

But I want to see it on a. On the thing.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah. Can I say something?

[Andrew Santino]

Can I say which.

[Bobby Lee]

I don't even know that I say that.

[Andrew Santino]

Do I say that all the time?

[Bobby Lee]

Okay, the thing is, is that. Yeah, right. That's another thing that I say. Right. What are some other things I say? Go. Whoa, dude. Oh, I don't. I've never said, whoa, dude. Dude, give me the loot. I've said, give me the long diving. Give me the loot. I haven't said that a long time. That kept. What, your urban Bobby?

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah, yeah.

[Bobby Lee]

The whole thing. Like, whenever there's a black person around, some octaves change in your voice. No, no, we can't do that, because I'm being, you know, I mean, I'm trying to get to the rhythm and their. Their energy. Like, vibe. It's a vibe I'm vibing.

[Andrew Santino]

You do have to match.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah, yeah. You have to vibe.

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah, He. That's got to be. If he's in character, he can say anything.

[Bobby Lee]

How you doing, bro? You know, there's some people that you say that to, you know? Yeah. Mexican.

[Rudy]

Okay.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah. I didn't say that.

[Andrew Santino]

I did.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah, he did. Oh, you did? Yeah.

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah, yeah, it is.

[Bobby Lee]

What else? You know? You mean that's a Ronnie chain game?

[Andrew Santino]

You know what?

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah.

[Andrew Santino]

Is that. You know what? When he's about to get mad, you know what?

[Bobby Lee]

But. Oh, I say that?

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah.

[Bobby Lee]

All right. That can't be a thing.

[Andrew Santino]

Why?

[Bobby Lee]

Because you say it.

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah. So that's not an ism.

[Andrew Santino]

I have no restrictions. I, I. No one came up to me about the isms.

[Bobby Lee]

Take. Take you know what out.

[Andrew Santino]

War. War. War.

[Bobby Lee]

Anything about war. Unless I'm talking about Iran.

[Andrew Santino]

Then we're good.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah, then we're good.

[Andrew Santino]

All right.

[Bobby Lee]

But if I, like, if I tell

[Andrew Santino]

somebody we're in a war repeating what Andrew just said.

[Bobby Lee]

Okay, that all the time, whatever he says, you say the word immediately after. Like, give me an example. Like, if he calls something, like, ugly, you would say, yeah, yeah, that's ugly. But that's. That's. That's $10. Yeah, because. Yeah, yeah, yeah, that's ugly. Would be $10.

[Andrew Santino]

No, it's two years. He'll go, yeah, yeah, that's ugly.

[Bobby Lee]

Double offense. Yes. Well, then it's two. Yes is fine because it's three. Yes is the.

[Andrew Santino]

It is true.

[Bobby Lee]

Thank you. Are you out of your fucking mind, dude?

[Andrew Santino]

He does say that.

[Bobby Lee]

I don't think that's an ism.

[Andrew Santino]

It's. I mean, it's like angrily.

[Bobby Lee]

Say it loud.

[Andrew Santino]

Are you fucking mind? Yeah, and then you fall away. You kick the table.

[Bobby Lee]

All right.

[Andrew Santino]

Kicking the table. Yeah, that's $5.

[Bobby Lee]

Kicking the table is $5. Okay. Laughing like Elmo. Okay, that's you. Now you're being a jerk.

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah, you're being a jerk.

[Bobby Lee]

Breathing.

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah.

[Bobby Lee]

You know, the way you bre. Yeah. You can't do that. Okay, wait, but that's enough.

[Andrew Santino]

Can I. No.

[Bobby Lee]

Elmo laugh has got to get out now.

[Andrew Santino]

Get it out.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah, yeah. Just put an X through it. All right. Put an X through it. Yeah. I have an elbow laugh sometimes. What? Just in case. Yeah, but I have an Elmo laugh. I never thought of it that way, but, yeah. He brings up. I said yeah twice just now.

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah. Oh, $5.

[Bobby Lee]

No, that's not $5. Yeah. Three. Yes.

[Andrew Santino]

Oh, okay.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah, yeah. And I caught myself.

[Andrew Santino]

You got close.

[Bobby Lee]

Yay.

[Andrew Santino]

That's it. That's one. Write it down.

[Bobby Lee]

There's no way I could do this. There's no way I could do it. All right, we'll try. Just for today. Let's just try it today. Any is anyway. Fine.

[Andrew Santino]

Anyway is fine.

[Bobby Lee]

Anyway is fine.

[Andrew Santino]

Let me just finish what I was trying to say. I'm happy. A young filmmaker is sprouting, and it's gonna lead other young filmmakers to make stuff, and then we can start getting back to making shit. So maybe it helps.

[Bobby Lee]

I think it proves a point that we can make a movie for under. For the amount of money that they use now.

[Andrew Santino]

There's a weird thing that's happening with that. It's like everyone's like, $750,000. It's going to make over 200 million. And you're like, I know, but no one got paid.

[Bobby Lee]

I understand that.

[Andrew Santino]

So someone makes a lot of money, and everyone makes no money now. And then they'll go, but they'll get it on the next one. You're like, I know, but some of these people might not get a next one.

[Bobby Lee]

But that kid will.

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah, but not everybody will.

[Bobby Lee]

I know, but when Jordan did get out, they bought him a car. It's the same company, Blumhouse.

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah.

[Bobby Lee]

On top of the money that he

[Andrew Santino]

got, I wouldn't want the car. I'd be like, I have a car. That's how I got to the shoot.

[Bobby Lee]

I understand, but give me the money. They did give him the money as well, but they also gave him a nice car.

[Andrew Santino]

I think they were probably gonna give this kid a bonus. And my guess was 10 mil. Yeah. And sign him to, like, an overall deal with them to make two more films.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah, but a different movie.

[Andrew Santino]

Texas Taint on Massacre, I think.

[Rudy]

Right?

[Bobby Lee]

Oh, that's gonna be amazing.

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah, he's good. He's talented.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah, he's a talented kid. You can just tell by. Yeah.

[Andrew Santino]

Why did you cover up your comic store tattoo with a sticker or something?

[Bobby Lee]

Because I have a new one right here. Oh. Oh.

[Andrew Santino]

We didn't even see this. The Arsenal tattoo. Did you see this Big Gooner?

[Bobby Lee]

You Instagrammed it? Yeah, I Instagrammed it.

[Rudy]

Yeah.

[Andrew Santino]

That's great.

[Bobby Lee]

And then she retouched. Mike repeated me. She retouched my Comedy Store, and she touched the mad part here.

[Andrew Santino]

Was it the same artist that did the original?

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah. You only one use one girl, Char, and she's great.

[Andrew Santino]

What are you doing with that star on your wrist?

[Bobby Lee]

I'm gonna get it removed.

[Andrew Santino]

Really?

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah. I'm getting this removed. What?

[Andrew Santino]

If you want to rejoin Fallout Boy, you gotta have.

[Bobby Lee]

There's Elmo laugh.

[Rudy]

Yeah.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah.

[Andrew Santino]

There is 15 bucks.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah. There's an elbow laugh.

[Andrew Santino]

I'm telling you, though, that.

[Bobby Lee]

Because that was so funny what you just said.

[Andrew Santino]

Let me see your you know, that

[Bobby Lee]

was during the Fallout Boy era.

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah, that's why I said it. Let me see the gur tattoo. Gur for life, dude. Good for you. Congratulations.

[Bobby Lee]

Oh, thank you. Oh, we've started. We've been here for.

[Andrew Santino]

We've been here for an hour and a half.

[Bobby Lee]

An hour and a half.

[Andrew Santino]

And you guys are late. No, you guys are late.

[Bobby Lee]

Sit down, sit down.

[Andrew Santino]

Guys.

[Bobby Lee]

Guys. How are you?

[Andrew Santino]

Ladies and gentlemen, it's Jules and Issa.

[Bobby Lee]

Yes.

[Andrew Santino]

Back in the studio.

[Rudy]

Belated Happy birthday.

[Andrew Santino]

Happy birthday. I went to his party. You didn't go. Carlos went. Yes. You were invited. It's in your tax. He showed it to me. He was really upset you didn't go. In fact, McCone, when I showed up. Dude, this is so funny and pathetic. He's up. Look at. He's laughing. He knows. I walk in. I walk in with my wife and our friend, and we walk upstairs. They're sitting in a circle. Yeah. In suits.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah.

[Andrew Santino]

Like this. No one's talking.

[Bobby Lee]

Of course.

[Andrew Santino]

Nine people. And I go, I'm gonna leave this. This is not a party.

[Bobby Lee]

It's midsummer.

[Andrew Santino]

It's in. It's midsummer.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah. It really is. But you change the vibe when you come.

[Andrew Santino]

I did. And we took us outside, and it made it so much better.

[Bobby Lee]

Well, yes. His friends are very weird.

[Andrew Santino]

Can I be honest with you right now? Yeah, absolutely.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah. Friday night, when your brothers and his friends came to my Minnesota show, some

[Andrew Santino]

of the weirdest people on planet.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah. They're. And they try to be. You know what I loved about your brothers? Because you gave them a talk. Did you not? Yeah, yeah. You go. Try to be more engaging. Right. So they're trying to smile and go, thanks, Bob. Right. But I know that it's because you gave them a pep talk. So I don't believe what they're saying. Yeah, yeah. They have to believe in it. They get scared of the Hollywood of it all. They're not used. I'm not Hollywood. Why do you think we're doing this podcast?

[Andrew Santino]

Good. Not yelling.

[Rudy]

Good.

[Andrew Santino]

Take it down.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah, yeah. Is that a part of the thing?

[Andrew Santino]

What is that? Yeah.

[Bobby Lee]

Is that you? A disclosure day. Did you see the movie? Yeah, that's why I left last. Yeah. What do you think? What do you think of the movie? I'm not gonna say anything because. I know, but is it good or bad? It looks like a cardboard. Yeah. It's so crazy. Why'd you crop off? Why'd you crop out? Steven Spielberg, dude, zoom in. He wasn't next to you. Look, look, look.

[Andrew Santino]

Are you looking for a condominium in Marina Del Rey? Dude, you look so.

[Bobby Lee]

So crazy funny.

[Andrew Santino]

That is such a. It's like a press poster.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah. And did you purposely expose some of your belly or is that a new fashion thing?

[Andrew Santino]

New to this area? Come to Trivia Night at the local pub. You're running for, like, state something. State government.

[Bobby Lee]

That's insane.

[Andrew Santino]

Girls, how are you?

[Rudy]

We're good.

[Andrew Santino]

New glasses?

[Rudy]

No, I wear contacts.

[Andrew Santino]

But you never wear. I've never seen you in those. Have you worn these to the show?

[Rudy]

No.

[Andrew Santino]

No, I've never seen those. You wear contacts?

[Rudy]

Yeah, I do.

[Andrew Santino]

What are those? Just sunglasses.

[Rudy]

Yeah.

[Andrew Santino]

Let me see. Put them on. Let's see.

[Rudy]

What?

[Bobby Lee]

She thinks he's Bono.

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah. Let me see Bono.

[Bobby Lee]

Let's go, Bono. Yeah, let's go. Let's go, Bono. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Where the streets have no name. Say that. Where the streets. Go ahead.

[Andrew Santino]

Well, where they're from, the streets don't have names.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah. Yeah. So can I tell you this? Something that happened.

[Rudy]

Yeah.

[Bobby Lee]

Right. And just give me your best judgment as a. There's a couple of things I want to say.

[Andrew Santino]

Okay?

[Bobby Lee]

Okay.

[Andrew Santino]

All right.

[Bobby Lee]

As a compadre.

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah.

[Bobby Lee]

As a patriot.

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah.

[Bobby Lee]

America first.

[Andrew Santino]

God bless.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah.

[Andrew Santino]

Girls, say America first real fast.

[Rudy]

America first.

[Andrew Santino]

Thank you.

[Bobby Lee]

Okay. You don't believe it, though. Yeah. There's no belief system. Yeah.

[Andrew Santino]

You can tell.

[Bobby Lee]

So I was. We. We're on a little break on our tour. So I said to the Comedy Store and everybody, I go, you know, I'm taking a week off. Nice. I don't want to stand up. I want to relax, hang out with my girlfriend, hang out with the family. All right. And I had a friend call and say, you said you were going to be performing a couple of months ago on a Saturday night, this specific Saturday night, which is last night. And I go, yeah, but I'm not. You know, I didn't call in, so. But my family's in town. You know, it's a whole thing that we're coming.

[Andrew Santino]

Did you tell her you were going

[Bobby Lee]

to be there that night A couple of months ago? I think she had texted me saying that, like, are you performing whatever the day it is. Right. So I go, oh, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. You know, is. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Fuck that.

[Andrew Santino]

$20.

[Bobby Lee]

That's $20.

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah.

[Bobby Lee]

That some of my isms, if I give. I say them, I have to give him $5.

[Andrew Santino]

Anyway. So, look, so you did. May have said, which we do all the time. They go, do you perform on Saturday in Like, August. You're like, I don't know, man. It's June. Yeah, probably, I guess. I have no idea.

[Bobby Lee]

So that's what happened. Right.

[Andrew Santino]

I understand.

[Bobby Lee]

So all week, this person. You're not. I go, I'm taking a break. You're not. And so finally, Friday, which is a couple days ago, I said, I called the Comedy Store, Rose. I go, is there any way you can just slot me into the main room at 8? And so when you do that, what. What do they do? They have to readjust, call everyone and go.

[Andrew Santino]

Somebody gets bumped.

[Bobby Lee]

Somebody gets bumped. You know, there's.

[Andrew Santino]

You know, it happens.

[Bobby Lee]

Then I go reserve a table. They. Mitzy's table. They reserved.

[Andrew Santino]

Very nice.

[Bobby Lee]

Right? And then I was also invited to. I'm not gonna drop a name.

[Andrew Santino]

Should.

[Bobby Lee]

I Don't want to.

[Andrew Santino]

Why not?

[Bobby Lee]

Because I'm like you.

[Andrew Santino]

I mean, people who know Elmo laugh. Five more dollars.

[Bobby Lee]

That's it.

[Andrew Santino]

Close.

[Bobby Lee]

That was close enough.

[Andrew Santino]

All right, five more dollars.

[Bobby Lee]

This person invited me. Rock star.

[Andrew Santino]

I can say that Ace freely.

[Bobby Lee]

Close. Okay, close. Yeah. A guy that's in a band. It was like, hey, do you. Do you and your girlfriend want to hang out and go watch. Have dinner and watch a movie? And I said, I can't because I have to do this show Saturday night. Right.

[Andrew Santino]

I mean, no, but you go ahead.

[Bobby Lee]

What would you have said?

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah, I'd rather hang out with you.

[Bobby Lee]

Right.

[Andrew Santino]

So I said I would take off,

[Bobby Lee]

and that's not what I do.

[Andrew Santino]

Okay, so you did the show for these people.

[Bobby Lee]

So, yeah. So I show up at the Comedy Store, and I go to the COVID booth, and I go, are my people here or main room? They're like, they haven't checked in yet, but show just started.

[Andrew Santino]

Oh, no.

[Bobby Lee]

I know. And then I'm on stage, and you can see Mitzi's section. You see the booth from stage. No one's in there.

[Andrew Santino]

Oh, my.

[Bobby Lee]

Okay, no one's in there. What? Why are you shaking your head? It's crazy.

[Andrew Santino]

We're in agreements. It's insane.

[Bobby Lee]

Right?

[Rudy]

Right.

[Bobby Lee]

Right.

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah.

[Bobby Lee]

And number one also, it's like, they could have sold those seats. Yeah, they could have for a lot of money.

[Andrew Santino]

And they're very expensive.

[Bobby Lee]

They're very expensive.

[Andrew Santino]

Those are like, nice seats.

[Bobby Lee]

Right? And then afterwards, I go to the COVID booth. I go, are you sure they checked in? They're not in Mitzi section. And they're like, I'm telling you, no one's checked. No one had a guest list.

[Andrew Santino]

Did you text her?

[Bobby Lee]

No, I didn't text Her. I just let it go. I went to dinner with my girlfriend afterwards, check in with the people. I was so mad. I was so mad, I couldn't even text.

[Andrew Santino]

Okay, time out.

[Bobby Lee]

Okay.

[Andrew Santino]

What if they tried to go? Their name wasn't on the list, and they were like, well, we don't want to bother them, and they just left.

[Bobby Lee]

There's no way that could happen. I'm.

[Andrew Santino]

That definitely can happen.

[Bobby Lee]

I know, but they have my number directly.

[Andrew Santino]

But you didn't text her after she didn't show, so maybe she showed up, couldn't get in, and didn't want to bother you.

[Bobby Lee]

Mike, the COVID booth goes, we promise you, no one came up and said, we're on Bobby's list. After, I'm going to tell you what happened. I'm at dinner, she texts us. So I tell her my show is at 8 with her, you know, and she. At 9:30, she's like, we were at the store. We're sorry. Our dinner ran late.

[Andrew Santino]

And this is why you don't do that.

[Bobby Lee]

Right. And I go, I didn't respond to it good. Then today, what happened?

[Rudy]

She went over, came to my house. She.

[Andrew Santino]

This woman came to your home?

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah. She's a dear friend.

[Andrew Santino]

Oh.

[Bobby Lee]

I was like, what is going to my home? And what. Why don't you love me?

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah.

[Andrew Santino]

What?

[Rudy]

She went with four Lucky Boy burritos,

[Bobby Lee]

which is my favorite breakfast burrito.

[Andrew Santino]

We know.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah.

[Rudy]

And then six fresh eggs from her own chicken farm.

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah, I don't want those.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah, I don't want those. I don't do foreign eggs. I don't do eggs that aren't free range.

[Andrew Santino]

No, I got a free range.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah. Yeah. Are they free range?

[Andrew Santino]

No, they're from.

[Bobby Lee]

They're from North. You've never been there?

[Andrew Santino]

They're Northridge range.

[Bobby Lee]

Northridge. Yeah.

[Andrew Santino]

It's in her backyard.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah.

[Rudy]

Her kid was there.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah, her kid was there.

[Andrew Santino]

She tried to use that as.

[Bobby Lee]

As a sympathy card.

[Andrew Santino]

Right?

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Andrew Santino]

How old is the kid?

[Rudy]

Six.

[Andrew Santino]

That's so mean.

[Bobby Lee]

It's so mean.

[Andrew Santino]

Boy. A little boy.

[Bobby Lee]

Girl. Oh.

[Andrew Santino]

Even worse.

[Bobby Lee]

I love her because she's, like, happy. Good to see you. Yeah. Yeah. It's one of those, Right? What I said was, I said, you

[Rudy]

don't want to see her.

[Bobby Lee]

I don't want to see her. And I go say that I left with my girlfriend in her car. So I was just in my room when they were at the house.

[Andrew Santino]

Awesome.

[Bobby Lee]

Right?

[Andrew Santino]

So she was in your home. She's hearing this now? She's in your home?

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah.

[Andrew Santino]

And you never said hi.

[Bobby Lee]

No way.

[Andrew Santino]

He never came out.

[Rudy]

No. So we had to entertain.

[Andrew Santino]

How, how, how long was she there?

[Rudy]

Like 30 minutes.

[Andrew Santino]

That's not bad.

[Bobby Lee]

That's not bad.

[Andrew Santino]

That's not bad. I, I in my mind was like, she stayed for.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah, but you have now. You have to understand that's a horror movie. Yeah.

[Andrew Santino]

You can't leave your room.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah.

[Andrew Santino]

She's like, you know, I think I'll sleep over. See when he gets back tomorrow.

[Bobby Lee]

I understand you're trying to get out of your house, but you, but now while this is happening, I'm sitting in my room on one of my other chairs like this for 30 minutes.

[Andrew Santino]

Okay, that's not that bad. Just lay down.

[Bobby Lee]

And I keep texting. Is she gone yet? They're like, no, she's still here.

[Andrew Santino]

You could be doing sit ups.

[Bobby Lee]

I stopped doing that because you know why I stopped doing that? The discouragement.

[Andrew Santino]

I thought it was 100 a day, right?

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. I started doing it. Good morning. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Cash App.

[Andrew Santino]

You've heard it, you know it. And when you get the Cash App card, not only do you get access to a ton of perks and benefits like exclusive early access to nationwide concert pre sales or discounts on popular brands, you also have extra security with the power to instantly lock or unlock your card or right from your phone in just one tap. I've had my, my card stolen. I was going to say my phone because my credit card was connected to my phone in my wallet and man, would it have been nice.

[Bobby Lee]

Yes.

[Andrew Santino]

To tap and stop all that.

[Bobby Lee]

Well, if a suspicious transaction pops up on your card, Cash App has your back by automatically declining the purchase and sending you a heads up to confirm.

[Andrew Santino]

I'm telling you, you can spend a peace of mind today and order a Cash App card in the app or at Cash App slash card. And I'm telling you, they got 24. 7 fraud protection. You do know what Cash App is? Many of you are already using CA Cash App Keeping your money safe from fraud deserves to be a priority. And Cash App treats it that way with security lock. Cash App requires a successful face ID or biometric authentication to access your account. And new Cash App customers are going to earn $10 if they use code Secure10 in their profile at signup and send $5 to a friend within 14 days. Terms apply. Cash App is a financial services platform, not a bank. Banking services provided by Cash App's bank partners. Prepaid debit cards issued by Sutton bank member FDIC Cash App Visa debit flex cards Issued by Sutton Bank Member FDIC and the Bancorp Bank N.A. pursuant to a license from Visa USA Incorporated. See Terms and conditions for the Sutton Prepaid Card, Sutton Debit Flex Card and Bancorp Debit Flex Card.

[Bobby Lee]

Discounts and promotions provided by Cash App a Block Inc. Brand. Visit Cash App Legal Podcast for full disclosure. Superpower I love Superpower because I don't know what's going on with my body.

[Andrew Santino]

Well, I don't often know what's going on with my body. Some days it feels great, some days it feels not so good. Huh?

[Rudy]

Yeah.

[Bobby Lee]

It's one simple blood draw that gives you information on over a hundred of your blood biomarkers, which is way more than what you're usually getting during a normal doctor's visit. And it unlocks a real understanding of your body that is proactive and performance enhancing healthcare that dives deep into why and the underlying cause of various symptoms you may be experiencing.

[Andrew Santino]

So I just went to the doctor this morning. Okay. And they do a blood draw at the doctor and you know you have to tell them what you want all the time. But the Superpower app includes detailed information on your heart, liver, thyroid, hormones, metabolism, vitamin mineral levels, even environmental toxins. So. So disease prevention is huge. And treating that annoying brain fog simply optimizing your your gym game. Superpower is the most comprehensive and advanced system out there. They send a licensed professional to your home or you can visit a nearby lab. And I gotta tell you, they sent someone to us which was very, very cool. So we're gonna tell you what the draw looks like. I hope I'm, I'm, I'm drawing. I hope I'm winning in all sorts of I'm drawing good, but I don't know. You get your biological age and pace of aging and they can tell you. Supplement recommendations and Superpower gives you access to high end concierge level care at the best price on the market. They're the most affordable 100 plus biomarker blood test starting at $199 and is HSA FSA eligible. You can unlock your new health Intelligence.

[Bobby Lee]

Make this year you stopping guessing about

[Andrew Santino]

your health with Superpower for a limited time. Our listeners get $20 off to unlock their new health intelligence. Head over to superpower.com and use the code bad friends for $20 off your $199 superpower membership.

[Bobby Lee]

And after you sign up, they'll ask you how you heard about Superpower. Tell them Bad Friends sent you to support the show Hexclad. I'm on a new Health kick. And I've been cooking for the first time ever.

[Andrew Santino]

I know you're a big chef.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah, no, I've been scrambling eggs and I want great cookware. So I got some from Hexclad. And let me tell you something, they're premium stuff.

[Andrew Santino]

No, it is amazing. By the way, stainless steel works amazing, but cleanup can be very brutal. With Hexclad, they give you a proper sear, great heat control, and the cleanup that doesn't turn into a whole second job after dinner. The greatest part about Hexclad is they sent us these. And when you're cooking, stuff gets stuck to the pan, especially if you're cooking with sauces and all sorts of stuff. And with Hexclad, it does not do that. And they're also oven safe, up to 900 degrees. They're awesome.

[Bobby Lee]

Old nonstick pan scratch, right? They peel, they wear out fast. The heat distribution is terrible. Heist clad gives you proper sear, great heat control and cleanup that doesn't turn into a whole second job after dinner.

[Andrew Santino]

Literally the last set of pots and pans you're ever going to need to buy. I'm telling you, they sent us some. Thank you so much. And it's.

[Bobby Lee]

Tell them about 12 piece set.

[Andrew Santino]

They have this 12 piece set. It's got. It's got pots, pans.

[Bobby Lee]

Well, let me ask you, what else is it like? Did they have a family sized stock pot?

[Andrew Santino]

You better believe it. And every single one of those included in the 12 piece set has its own lid. So don't go through another.

[Bobby Lee]

What about the warranties or warranty?

[Andrew Santino]

Oh, my God, it's lifetime.

[Bobby Lee]

Oh, my Lord. It's like I'm a Highlander. I could use. If I was a Highlander, I could use it for the rest of my life.

[Andrew Santino]

Don't go through another summer with cookware that makes every meal harder than it needs to be. For a limited time only, our listeners get 10% off your order with our exclusive link. Just head to hexclad.com badfriends support our

[Bobby Lee]

show and check them out at H e x c L-A-Com forward/bad friends.

[Andrew Santino]

Make sure to let them know we sent you.

[Bobby Lee]

What is going on here?

[Andrew Santino]

You know what's going on.

[Bobby Lee]

I did a book signing. You laugh. You know, a book.

[Andrew Santino]

You saying I did a book signing is so funny. I know, but it's somebody on the Internet meme. Real face. Go.

[Bobby Lee]

I'm sorry for calling you Pippi up front. That was wrong. I think that's what it Is. I apologize.

[Andrew Santino]

You know what?

[Bobby Lee]

But let me ask you something, my

[Andrew Santino]

friend who's an author. Thank you very much. Stop it.

[Bobby Lee]

Okay. Anyway.

[Andrew Santino]

Is.

[Bobby Lee]

Anyway.

[Andrew Santino]

Is anyway up there? What is anyway an ism. Just a natural transition.

[Bobby Lee]

It's a natural transition. Yeah. So then you can't put any way up there. No, you can't. How am I going to transition then? There's no way to transition only. Okay. During transition. Okay, so.

[Andrew Santino]

So this woman was there for 30 minutes, and then. How did you get. Did you say goodbye? How do you.

[Rudy]

No, because we're really close with her.

[Andrew Santino]

Oh, okay. You know her well enough.

[Bobby Lee]

She's family.

[Andrew Santino]

Well, she's so close that you lied to her and didn't see her while she was at your home. I mean, must be close friends.

[Bobby Lee]

Well, because I was. I would be enraged.

[Andrew Santino]

You're right.

[Bobby Lee]

Would you be enraged?

[Andrew Santino]

I'll tell you something. They wouldn't be in my home.

[Bobby Lee]

That's what I'm saying.

[Andrew Santino]

I would call and go, hey, man, you bailed. They saved that seat. That's kind of up. Which, by the way, this happened to me. This happened to all of us. Where people go, we're coming. We're my. Somebody told me one time, they go. I was like, you didn't. Did you not show up? They were like, we didn't see you. We were there. We left.

[Bobby Lee]

Oh, they're in a different room.

[Andrew Santino]

They went to the or. And I was like, did you say, I'm Andrew Santino's guest? Because they would have gone, he's in there. They're like, no.

[Bobby Lee]

It's like, okay, well, that's why you.

[Andrew Santino]

I don't know what you want me.

[Bobby Lee]

I'm specific. I'm like, main room. The show starts at 7. I'm up at this time. Yeah, you mean talk to this person?

[Andrew Santino]

And then they text you and go, hey, what time do you go on? What time does the show start? Yeah, what room is it in?

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah.

[Andrew Santino]

And you're like, look up. I point. I do the arrow. I go, look up. Look at the text. Fucking two texts ago, I just said all of it.

[Bobby Lee]

Or, look up at the billboard. Yeah, there's a main room thing and an or thing. Right. And you could just look at her. And we're always on the billboard.

[Rudy]

Yeah.

[Bobby Lee]

So it's like, just look at the board.

[Andrew Santino]

Look at the billboard.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah. So I'm at dinner, 9:30. She goes, you know. I mean, oh, dinner ran late. Right. So what would you do?

[Andrew Santino]

You would say, she was really sorry, though.

[Bobby Lee]

I don't care. I don't give a.

[Andrew Santino]

That. That is also urban. Bob, I would not te. You're smart to not text, to get mad, but when they talk to you

[Bobby Lee]

again, just go, no, it's forever dead.

[Andrew Santino]

I would say it's not cool.

[Bobby Lee]

It's forever dead.

[Andrew Santino]

Well, I go, it's not cool.

[Bobby Lee]

Forever dead. I want to be forever dead.

[Andrew Santino]

Do you really want to die?

[Bobby Lee]

Forever?

[Rudy]

Forever.

[Andrew Santino]

Do you guys know that song?

[Rudy]

Yeah.

[Andrew Santino]

What is. What shirt is. That rocks?

[Bobby Lee]

Roxy Music. Oh, it's mine.

[Andrew Santino]

Oh, that's a Cool. I was just gonna say.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah.

[Andrew Santino]

Is that a Bobby Distressed?

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah, it's a distress. I didn't like the distress. I think it just said it too much. So I gave it to her.

[Rudy]

Gives me his failure one.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Rudy]

Like every morning he's. Yeah. On the dining table, just scratching, all scraping away.

[Andrew Santino]

He's gotta. That's his new hobby. He's Bobby distressed.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Rudy]

All the coffee things in the pool.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah. We already talked about it. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I already said it last time.

[Andrew Santino]

Who had to clean out the pool?

[Bobby Lee]

My cool pool guy.

[Andrew Santino]

What did he say?

[Bobby Lee]

He's like. I don't know.

[Rudy]

I think he's really worried.

[Bobby Lee]

He was worried.

[Rudy]

I don't know what happened.

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah. It's actually not a good.

[Bobby Lee]

Why is your pool black?

[Andrew Santino]

Because coffee grounds are going to get in the filter system. You're buying. You'll probably buy.

[Bobby Lee]

No, it's. It's instant coffee.

[Andrew Santino]

Oh, it's okay.

[Bobby Lee]

It's not ground.

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah, it's fine.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah, yeah, it's fine.

[Andrew Santino]

It's totally fine.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. So that's another thing, because when you take a white shirt and you soak it, if anyone wants to distress their shirt. Right.

[Andrew Santino]

Don't give away your secrets.

[Bobby Lee]

Right. You take a whole bottle of hot water. Yeah. You put hot water in a bucket. And I take you. Do you want to. Are you interested? Yeah. I feel like you're not.

[Andrew Santino]

I'm listening.

[Bobby Lee]

Okay. You take. Pour the coffee in it. Instant coffee. Right. And you let it sit for there for days.

[Andrew Santino]

And then do you scratch it with rocks?

[Rudy]

Sandpaper.

[Bobby Lee]

Sandpaper. But here's.

[Andrew Santino]

Go get some rocks.

[Bobby Lee]

Nope. Here's what I just found out. And I found a. A trick.

[Andrew Santino]

Do you want to give this away?

[Bobby Lee]

I do. Because it's. It's free knowledge for everybody.

[Andrew Santino]

Good.

[Bobby Lee]

I had a wardrobe for this movie I'm doing, and I asked the wardrobe lady because they know all about distressing.

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah.

[Bobby Lee]

And I. And I'm telling her all these things I'm doing. She's like, just go to this company. Just do it. Oh, yeah. So I'm just gonna. So what I'm doing. But they go. They do it in bulk. So you need 12 shirts at least.

[Andrew Santino]

You got 12.

[Bobby Lee]

No, I'm saving. I have like four or five arrived. I'm waiting for seven more. I'm going to bring it in and I'm going to. And it has they no holes. Rock wash. And then I'll put paint and I'll do a little bit more distressing.

[Andrew Santino]

But, you know, you should just throw them in your dryer and then throw some rocks in there.

[Bobby Lee]

I don't know what it'll do. It's.

[Andrew Santino]

Let's test. Let's figure it out. You put coffee in your pool.

[Bobby Lee]

That is true. This is like.

[Andrew Santino]

That is like Brewster's Millions or something. Like a kid gets a house, he's like, let's put coffee in the pool. That's insane. It's insane.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah.

[Andrew Santino]

I want to build a slide on my bedroom window.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah. And. And. And I also want to publicly from these two friends of mine that, you know, publicly announced that I'm uk.

[Andrew Santino]

So you're. You're United Kingdom?

[Bobby Lee]

No. Uno king.

[Andrew Santino]

The Uno king. Right. We talked about that. Yeah.

[Bobby Lee]

You're the Uno king.

[Andrew Santino]

Does he beat you every time?

[Rudy]

He won six games in a row.

[Bobby Lee]

Five.

[Andrew Santino]

But he is using tactics like threats and bribery.

[Rudy]

He is?

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah.

[Rudy]

Yeah. He tried to bribe our mom and he got really mad that she didn't.

[Andrew Santino]

Well, that is what kings would do. Kings would bribe. Kings are big bribers, dude.

[Bobby Lee]

We. We colonize.

[Andrew Santino]

And you know what they are in the kingdom?

[Bobby Lee]

What?

[Andrew Santino]

I found this out last night. They're goop farmers. Do you know what a goop farmer is?

[Bobby Lee]

No, I don't know what a goop.

[Andrew Santino]

You're looking at two of them.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah, it sounds right. It sounds racist.

[Andrew Santino]

It's not. Go farmer.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah. In medieval, there's one letter away for being racist.

[Andrew Santino]

Goop do. Medieval Times, it's called a goo picker or a group farmer. What they do is. Oh, sorry. Go. What is it? Oh, gong farmer. Yeah, sorry.

[Bobby Lee]

Back up, back up, back up, back up, back up. What'd you call them? Goop. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Andrew Santino]

Nowhere near, but goop sounded funny.

[Bobby Lee]

It is, but a gong farmer is a what?

[Andrew Santino]

A gong from a medieval and Tudor error labor responsible for manually removing human waste from city cesspiss and castle privy. So when you were in the castle, they have video of this. They would poop off the side of the castle in like a chute and then they had to go clean up the poop and wheelbarrow it away. They were compensated very well. They said this was a very good job. Picking up poop was one of the best jobs.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah, because you have to imagine in a castle, right? You're pooping out of a hole and

[Andrew Santino]

just off the side of the wall.

[Bobby Lee]

Off the side of a wall. Probably five stories up. The wall must be.

[Andrew Santino]

Look at that.

[Bobby Lee]

Oh, that's. Yeah, that's it. Oh, my God. Imagine.

[Andrew Santino]

And there's this.

[Bobby Lee]

Once a year, they have to do the canal. You know, I mean, the canal cleaning.

[Andrew Santino]

Gotta clean it some.

[Bobby Lee]

Some like a little Brad Williams. That's a.

[Rudy]

Yeah.

[Bobby Lee]

And get up there.

[Andrew Santino]

And he would get stuck. So they would tie some of his foot and just pull him down.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah, it's. It's a Shawshank Redemption kind of a situation.

[Andrew Santino]

Gong farming.

[Bobby Lee]

Remember when he escaped? Yeah, yeah.

[Andrew Santino]

You guys are gong farmers.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah, you're a gong farmer. But me, good money. That's a cool job.

[Andrew Santino]

It's a very good job.

[Bobby Lee]

You know, you guys aren't good with smells, though.

[Rudy]

I can't smell.

[Bobby Lee]

Okay, well, then you'd be good at gunfire.

[Rudy]

Me?

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Andrew Santino]

Did you guys go to McCone's birthday?

[Bobby Lee]

Tristan was there.

[Andrew Santino]

Why didn't you guys go?

[Rudy]

I had to babysit, and then I got really tired.

[Andrew Santino]

Why didn't you go?

[Rudy]

I didn't even know about it.

[Andrew Santino]

Wow.

[Bobby Lee]

Interesting.

[Andrew Santino]

It was really.

[Bobby Lee]

I didn't.

[Andrew Santino]

Really fun.

[Bobby Lee]

I didn't get invited as well, you know.

[Andrew Santino]

You know?

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah, yeah. You have to direct invite me. You can't put me in a group chat. Our direct text message. All right, let me. I'm gonna look it up. Yeah, I'm sorry, I. Yeah, yeah, you should. Yeah, I'm gonna look it up right now. Because I knew you'd make a thing out of it.

[Andrew Santino]

And then I. As soon as I went to leave, I go, what do you need? What's going on? And McConnell goes, Can I have a hundred dollars?

[Bobby Lee]

Oh, it's this. Yeah, it's a particle. Okay, so what I. What I want to say, this is. Sometimes you send me videos. No, I'm being real. This is like. Like, check out this silly video on, like, your TikTok.

[Andrew Santino]

He does, right?

[Bobby Lee]

And so then I'll click on it, and it's the most uninteresting thing that you could ever watch. So in my mind, I'm like, oh, it's just one of his silly TikTok.

[Andrew Santino]

Sure.

[Bobby Lee]

It says McConnell is 27, and I don't even Read. If I see a square thing and it looks like a video, I just. I just ignore it.

[Andrew Santino]

You can't. Part of all Bobby.

[Bobby Lee]

You can't. Part of all me.

[Andrew Santino]

You got to. You got to.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah.

[Andrew Santino]

Write in a text what it is.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah.

[Andrew Santino]

And then send it part of full. He's never going to open.

[Bobby Lee]

I don't know what it is.

[Andrew Santino]

He doesn't know how to do that.

[Bobby Lee]

I do know how to press a button.

[Andrew Santino]

He doesn't know how.

[Bobby Lee]

Yes, I do. I could do it right now.

[Andrew Santino]

Well, then why didn't you do it for his birthday?

[Bobby Lee]

Because I thought it was a tick tock video. I'm sorry, I'm raising my voice. Yeah. And you're leaving Tuesday and we're gonna miss you.

[Andrew Santino]

Wait, where are you going?

[Rudy]

Back home.

[Bobby Lee]

No.

[Rudy]

Yeah.

[Bobby Lee]

And. And so is your mom.

[Rudy]

Yeah.

[Andrew Santino]

How long are you guys gonna be gone for?

[Rudy]

Well, she's gonna be gone for the whole year. Yeah.

[Andrew Santino]

Until Trump's out of office, I guess. Huh?

[Bobby Lee]

Yep. Yeah.

[Rudy]

Yeah.

[Andrew Santino]

Wait, you're gonna be gone for the rest of the year?

[Rudy]

Yeah.

[Andrew Santino]

And then maybe come back next year.

[Rudy]

Yeah. Because immediately when I get back, my school starts.

[Bobby Lee]

Okay, so what I want to ask, and it's not a personal thing. Right. But you guys have two younger brothers.

[Rudy]

Yeah.

[Bobby Lee]

Who I don't know at all. Can they come instead?

[Rudy]

They don't have visa. They don't have visas yet.

[Bobby Lee]

Okay.

[Andrew Santino]

Get them a visa, Boba.

[Bobby Lee]

I'll get a visa. Yeah. Now here's my worry, Andrew, and if you can. If you can help me, please, because we have. I have familiars living with me, you know, and you are a familiar. You call them gong farmers. I call them familiars, actually call them

[Andrew Santino]

goop farmers on accident, but gong is the right.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Andrew Santino]

Gong sounds more so.

[Bobby Lee]

And it. Gong does sound more right. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. You gong piece of. What you doing on my neighborhood or whatever?

[Andrew Santino]

Get out of here. You go, farmer.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah, yeah. Anyway, the. That's another transition.

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah.

[Bobby Lee]

Another transition.

[Andrew Santino]

He's transitioning.

[Bobby Lee]

I'm transitioning. Okay. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Go ahead, get another five. 30. Yeah. $30. So my. Your mother is my housekeeper, essentially.

[Rudy]

Yeah.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah. She's gonna be gone for three months now.

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah. What are you gonna do?

[Bobby Lee]

Well, she promises me that this one right here will clean, pick up the slack, huh? Yeah. But she won't.

[Rudy]

Yeah, I will.

[Bobby Lee]

No, you won't. So what I'm asking you is, do you know anybody that can help me?

[Rudy]

Yeah, I will, I swear.

[Bobby Lee]

No, no, you don't. You.

[Rudy]

I will.

[Bobby Lee]

If it's front row Justin Bieber, you will.

[Andrew Santino]

That's exactly.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. If it's Sabrina Carpenter, you will. Right. Clean the house. You won't.

[Rudy]

I already promise you I'll clean.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah, but when you ever. Yeah, but whenever you've done it, it's not good. What's this? Topless cleaning. I don't want that. That's why I turn that off. What are you doing? Carlos.

[Andrew Santino]

Carlos.

[Bobby Lee]

Carlos, what are you doing?

[Rudy]

Dream made.

[Bobby Lee]

No, no, no. Carlos, stop.

[Andrew Santino]

Is that who you use? Dream Made?

[Bobby Lee]

No, I just do it myself. Yeah, yeah.

[Andrew Santino]

How about McCone? McCone can clean your house. He always says he loves cleaning houses.

[Bobby Lee]

Are you good at cleaning houses? I'm pretty good. Yeah.

[Andrew Santino]

My own, but other people for money. He can be good.

[Bobby Lee]

You could. If I gave you. Let me.

[Rudy]

You don't think McCone's better than me?

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah. Whoa. Yeah, because he. He's scared of me.

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah, he is. That's true.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah. You're not. Yeah, you. It's like living with a fourth dimensional ghost when everyone's gone.

[Andrew Santino]

That's.

[Bobby Lee]

So we don't say hi. We don't scared him. She doesn't acknowledge. Yeah, no, you don't.

[Rudy]

Yeah, I do.

[Bobby Lee]

No, you don't acknowledge me. It's fine. I don't want to acknowledge you either.

[Rudy]

I said. And you're just like.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah, all right. So I. I never made that noise. I've never made that noise before. I've never done that.

[Andrew Santino]

Okay.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah, yeah. So what? I don't want to get angry. I was trying to be calm.

[Andrew Santino]

Make it easy, baby.

[Bobby Lee]

I know. I'm trying to relax.

[Rudy]

What? He was like in Uno.

[Andrew Santino]

He was slick back Bob.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah. I betrayed even my girlfriend.

[Andrew Santino]

Be slick back Bob. Right now. You're good. Slick back Bob. That Slick back Bob. There he is.

[Bobby Lee]

I need help because I live in a house. She's not gonna do it.

[Andrew Santino]

She's not.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah.

[Andrew Santino]

I have you. I have someone. That's amazing.

[Rudy]

Yeah.

[Bobby Lee]

So thank you so much. Yeah.

[Andrew Santino]

I would love to present her your way. No, you're done.

[Bobby Lee]

No.

[Andrew Santino]

How about this?

[Bobby Lee]

I'll give you a shot.

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah. She has to prove herself.

[Bobby Lee]

I'll give you a shot. I'm so scared. So you're gonna. You're gonna fold my underwear the way your mom folds them?

[Rudy]

Yeah.

[Bobby Lee]

Okay. No, you're not. No. No way. You're just gonna throw them in there where they get all crinkly.

[Rudy]

I will. I'll call her. I'll ask how she folds it.

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah.

[Bobby Lee]

No, no. This is what she does this is what she does.

[Andrew Santino]

Have you never seen them?

[Bobby Lee]

Her.

[Andrew Santino]

You've never seen her do it?

[Rudy]

No.

[Bobby Lee]

So what she does is she'll put clothes in the dryer. Right. Then I'll come home. Right. And there's a literal pyramid of clothes on top of the dryer.

[Andrew Santino]

And those are the clean ones.

[Bobby Lee]

Those are the clean ones.

[Andrew Santino]

Okay, very nice.

[Bobby Lee]

While she's washing other things, Right. The pyramid becomes bigger and bigger. Right. And then it becomes Giza. The pyramid of Giza.

[Andrew Santino]

It is.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah, yeah. And then I'm like. And then what happens when you dry clothing and you don't fold them immediately? Tell me what happens.

[Andrew Santino]

Wrinkles.

[Bobby Lee]

Wrinkles, baby. Wrinkles, baby. Right.

[Andrew Santino]

Building the clothing pyramid of Giza.

[Bobby Lee]

Of Giza. Yeah. And so that's what I don't want to. Right. I also.

[Rudy]

This is not gonna come.

[Bobby Lee]

No, she's not fold your clothes.

[Andrew Santino]

A 90 year old lady is gonna outsource it. Yeah.

[Bobby Lee]

Outsourcing a nine year old lady. That's insane.

[Andrew Santino]

That's crazy.

[Bobby Lee]

That's crazy. She has apps.

[Rudy]

Yeah, she has.

[Bobby Lee]

She has cleaning apps.

[Rudy]

Yeah.

[Bobby Lee]

Oh, I thought she's like,

[Andrew Santino]

this has a phone.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Andrew Santino]

Clean this room.

[Bobby Lee]

Clean, clean. Yeah.

[Andrew Santino]

Hey, you got to prove yourself somehow.

[Rudy]

I will.

[Andrew Santino]

You know what you should make her do?

[Bobby Lee]

What?

[Andrew Santino]

Clean the outside of the house. It needs a good washing because of all the dirt from the trees and the storm.

[Rudy]

No, he doesn't even care about.

[Andrew Santino]

Yes, he does.

[Bobby Lee]

I do care.

[Rudy]

Like vinegar because of him.

[Andrew Santino]

No.

[Bobby Lee]

What do you mean by that?

[Rudy]

And there's so much stains everywhere. And it's just his shirts laying out in the sun. And it's like all kinds of colors. Even our mom gave up on it. Yeah.

[Bobby Lee]

So you don't make that noise. Made that noise. Yeah, that's another five.

[Andrew Santino]

It's like 40 bucks.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah, it's 40 bucks.

[Andrew Santino]

You also have repeated me twice. And yeah, we're up to. We're cruising.

[Bobby Lee]

We're cruising. Yeah, we're doing good. I'll give you. I'll give me. That's another one I just repeated. Cruising. Yeah, Another five. That's amazing. That's not a thing.

[Andrew Santino]

Okay.

[Bobby Lee]

You've never repeated a word that I've said.

[Andrew Santino]

I don't like to sound like you.

[Bobby Lee]

Okay, all right, that's fair.

[Andrew Santino]

Okay.

[Bobby Lee]

Here.

[Andrew Santino]

Anyway.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Thank you.

[Andrew Santino]

Anyway, the thing is, is this.

[Bobby Lee]

I'm gonna. That's another five. I'm gonna give. I'm gonna. One day I'm gonna. I'm gonna move a couch.

[Rudy]

Okay.

[Bobby Lee]

I'm gonna look Underneath. See, there's a difference, Andrew, between surface cleaning.

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah.

[Bobby Lee]

And deep cleaning.

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah. You gotta go.

[Bobby Lee]

Give me the difference. Tell me some of the difference.

[Andrew Santino]

Surface cleaning is when you're just going over just what's what to the eye, what's available.

[Bobby Lee]

What's available.

[Andrew Santino]

Deep cleaning is what's not available. Under the beds, under the couches, behind the refrigerator. You got to pull that thing out. You got to pull that thing out.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah, you do.

[Rudy]

Can I deep clean once a week instead of every day?

[Bobby Lee]

No, no.

[Andrew Santino]

Every day.

[Rudy]

Every day. Deep clean.

[Bobby Lee]

No, not everyday. Deep clean. You do clean every day?

[Rudy]

Yeah.

[Bobby Lee]

Deep clean once a week?

[Rudy]

Yeah.

[Bobby Lee]

Okay.

[Andrew Santino]

Maybe twice if. If you feel like.

[Bobby Lee]

If I feel like it?

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah.

[Rudy]

Okay.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah. And I'm just gonna do that symbol.

[Andrew Santino]

That's how you know.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. And you're gonna be like, oh, okay, okay. And then you're like, I'm busy. Well, I got things to do. Yeah. So what's your job?

[Andrew Santino]

The baby can clean.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah, the baby.

[Andrew Santino]

That baby can clean.

[Bobby Lee]

One years old now.

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah. Once you're one, you can start cleaning.

[Bobby Lee]

Can you walk? Yeah, he can clean. Yeah. If you can walking clean.

[Rudy]

Baby's obsessed with you, too, Bobby.

[Andrew Santino]

The baby's walking around a lot.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah. The baby's saying my. Says my name all the time.

[Rudy]

Yeah.

[Andrew Santino]

How? Bobby. Bobby, Bobby. Oh. So it's clear.

[Bobby Lee]

Even if he hears me in the phone, he'll yell my name.

[Rudy]

We ask him, like, who's your favorite person?

[Andrew Santino]

He says, bobby, we should get him on the show. Can you get on the show?

[Bobby Lee]

No, he's too young.

[Andrew Santino]

Let's put him on the show.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah. He. He'll cry. He doesn't. He can't conceptualize what this is. All he says is this deep, gross orange.

[Andrew Santino]

You're talking about me.

[Bobby Lee]

No. Yeah. And this color. It would freak him out. Yeah.

[Andrew Santino]

Too much.

[Bobby Lee]

It's too much.

[Andrew Santino]

I get it.

[Bobby Lee]

To see all these paintings. He would think that he was in another world.

[Andrew Santino]

He isn't here.

[Bobby Lee]

He's another world. Yeah. Yeah.

[Andrew Santino]

I'm sad that you're gonna go home. That sucks. I mean, that's good.

[Bobby Lee]

So what do you. What? So since you've been. How long you've been in America?

[Rudy]

Four months.

[Bobby Lee]

Four months. What have you been doing?

[Rudy]

I've been.

[Andrew Santino]

Have you learned anything?

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah. What have you been doing?

[Rudy]

Like, I've just been walking around.

[Andrew Santino]

Why? Huh?

[Rudy]

I've been walking around.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah. I'll drive around. I'll see that. I've drive. I've driven past you before and you don't even Acknowledge my presence.

[Rudy]

Wait, I do. You don't acknowledge me?

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah.

[Andrew Santino]

Where are you going?

[Rudy]

I'm going to, like, the coffee shop.

[Bobby Lee]

You go to Alfred's?

[Rudy]

Yeah.

[Bobby Lee]

That's the only place we're going. No, I'm going to Give me some other coffee shops in that area.

[Rudy]

Like the books and coffee one.

[Bobby Lee]

Oh, the books and coffee. Yeah.

[Rudy]

Yeah.

[Bobby Lee]

There's a witch. Have you ever been to the witch's brew or. There's a. There's a.

[Andrew Santino]

No, but I just think this is America. What have you been doing? Walking.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah.

[Andrew Santino]

Coffee.

[Bobby Lee]

Coffee. Yeah.

[Andrew Santino]

Nothing. Really? Nothing. So you really took advantage of coming to America.

[Bobby Lee]

And she'll do stuff like this. I'll go, hey, me and my girlfriend are gonna go to dinner. You want to come? She goes, no.

[Andrew Santino]

What do you eat?

[Bobby Lee]

Oh, thank you for asking.

[Andrew Santino]

I'll tell you what, they ate like, Chipotle every day.

[Bobby Lee]

I'll tell you what they eat.

[Andrew Santino]

What?

[Bobby Lee]

Thank you so much for asking.

[Andrew Santino]

Okay. You're welcome.

[Bobby Lee]

Thank you. What they eat is. Two weeks ago, I ordered sunundang.

[Rudy]

Oh, my God.

[Bobby Lee]

Okay. Which is short rib. It's like, in a stew. There's carrots in it. It has. It's like a Vikings like, of meal. Right. It's the best. Right. It's been in my fridge for two, three weeks. Okay. Right. And the other day, I just see them eating meat. Just like a bone and meat. I'm like. And they're like, oh, it's from. And I'm like, I can order you a new one.

[Rudy]

Why waste?

[Andrew Santino]

That's right. Why waste?

[Bobby Lee]

You think meat for three weeks in a fridge is fine?

[Andrew Santino]

I'm not gonna eat it for them. It's got to be fine.

[Bobby Lee]

I know, but you think that you. Would you eat meat in your refrigerator that's been there for two or three weeks?

[Rudy]

No, we're not having diarrhea, so it's good.

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah. Well, what do you mean? Well, it's.

[Bobby Lee]

What do you mean, Carlos? Diarrhea. What point? She's Filipino. Stomach. It's different.

[Andrew Santino]

A better question would be, why is it in there for three weeks?

[Rudy]

Yeah.

[Andrew Santino]

Why throw it away? Why three weeks?

[Rudy]

We want to keep it.

[Bobby Lee]

They want to keep it.

[Andrew Santino]

Oh, it's you.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah, well, you think it's me.

[Andrew Santino]

Keep it in your room on the floor then.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah, yeah.

[Andrew Santino]

On the room if you like it so much.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah. It's just stacked with old food.

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah.

[Bobby Lee]

And they. They. And then I'll go, hey, I'm going to get Postmates. And they're like, we don't want to eat it.

[Rudy]

It.

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah, but that's good. They're not wasting money. They're not.

[Bobby Lee]

I paid for it.

[Andrew Santino]

They're not wasting your money.

[Bobby Lee]

I don't care.

[Andrew Santino]

You should.

[Bobby Lee]

Why?

[Andrew Santino]

You should.

[Rudy]

What?

[Bobby Lee]

I don't want to get an argument with you. I know you did. That's an ism of yours.

[Andrew Santino]

Okay. But give me a breath. I'll give McCone $5. Okay, well, so 95 I own because I already gave him a hundred dollars the other day.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah, it's an exhausting breath that you do.

[Andrew Santino]

Sorry.

[Bobby Lee]

All right.

[Andrew Santino]

And I'm going to tell you why I'm concerned about your money. I used all the money we've made on bad friends. I gave it to a guy named Bertie Madoff, and it's not good.

[Bobby Lee]

Warby Parker. Now, listen to me, okay?

[Andrew Santino]

Listen. Hear ye, hear ye.

[Bobby Lee]

Hear, hear y. Hey, hey, hey. Your wife's glasses are so dope, Warby Parker.

[Andrew Santino]

They're so cool.

[Bobby Lee]

So cool. I'm gonna go to Warby Parker. I'm gonna get glasses there.

[Andrew Santino]

You can now, because you know what they do? They do prescriptions. That's what I'm doing to make cool shades. You can get whatever prescription you are wearing or need put into them. And by the way, the best part is you can try on the glasses virtually from home, on your phone or iPad or whatever. It feels so real. It you can look and see what it feels like and looks like on your face, in your space.

[Bobby Lee]

They made the whole entire experience even easier. Now you can actually go into one of their stores as well.

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah.

[Bobby Lee]

And get an eye exam right there. No running around to multiple spots. No guessing if your prescription is even up to date.

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah, not anymore. It's easy. Warby Parker's got everything in store, by the way. Cool new styles all the time, colors, style that are so different than anything that you see that's running around on those racks at the gas station. And by the way, the prescription glasses start at $95. You can actually get quality and stylish frames at an affordable price. And they do like Bob said, eye exams, glasses, contact sunglasses. You don't got to piece it together anymore. They get over 300 retail stores across the United States.

[Bobby Lee]

A lot of stores.

[Andrew Santino]

And, Bob, for every pair of glasses that Warby Parker sells, they give a pair to someone in need, which is huge. 20 million pairs they've given out through their buy a pair, give a pair program, which I think is very cool. Very huge.

[Bobby Lee]

All right, now you can buy a pair of glasses and get 20% off of any additional pairs at warbyparker.com Bad

[Andrew Santino]

Friends that's 20% off any additional pairs when you purchase one pair at W A R B Y parker.com Bad Friends Ultra.

[Bobby Lee]

You guys ever woken up and immediately needed a nicotine pouch or a cup of coffee just to feel like a human?

[Andrew Santino]

How many pouches, cups of coffee, energy drinks are you guys ripping through on a daily basis? It's not good friends. That's why we're talking about Ultra. This has zero nicotine. Okay. These are truly clean. They're plant powered pouches designed to sharpen your mind, lift your energy, all without caffeine, nicotine or that awful crash that you always experience.

[Bobby Lee]

Look at my mouth right here. I have one in my ass right here.

[Andrew Santino]

Okay, he's got an ultra in there in my mouth.

[Bobby Lee]

It's been in there for a couple of hours. I have one in my mouth. These are truly clean plant powered pouches designed to sharpen your mind and lift your energy. All without caffeine, nicotine or crash.

[Andrew Santino]

And that's because nicotine pouches and caffeine, they spike your resting heart rate at night, which kills your body's brain's ability to recover.

[Bobby Lee]

Okay?

[Andrew Santino]

Ultra pouches have a shorter half life than caffeine. They're not going to disrupt your sleep. And I got to tell you, they make me feel much better in the morning because I don't get that insane crash. All right, I'm trying. I'm working on hate crashing. Yeah, I'm working on going all to these. They're smooth. There's cool mint, wintergreen, tropical watermelon and blue razz.

[Bobby Lee]

Blue Raz.

[Andrew Santino]

Ultra is the ultimate guilt free pouch, delivering an instant focus and mental clarity without nicotine or caffeine. New customers can use the code Bad friends to get 15 [e-mail] that's take

[Bobby Lee]

ultra.com for 15 off code bad friends.

[Andrew Santino]

After your purchase, they're gonna ask you how'd you hear about them? Support our show and tell them that we sent you.

[Bobby Lee]

It's not good.

[Andrew Santino]

It's not good.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah, yeah. But what I'm saying is if I'm getting a sandwich or a bagel shop and I go, yeah, you guys want to get a little breakfast bagel thing in the morning? And they're like, no thanks. And then they'll go to the fridge and eat the three week year old meat.

[Andrew Santino]

Oh, it's good. They're cleaning it out.

[Rudy]

Okay, yeah, I'm gonna clean it first and then we'll say yes.

[Andrew Santino]

Once you guys want to come over to my house and eat all my expired in the fridge, you're more than welcome to. Yeah, it's always in there. We got so much in there of bananas. Oh, yeah, yeah.

[Bobby Lee]

Banana bread.

[Andrew Santino]

Who makes banana?

[Bobby Lee]

Just bananas.

[Andrew Santino]

Can you make banana bread?

[Rudy]

Mama can make.

[Andrew Santino]

Can she? For me? Tell her. Just for me. Yeah, because she's still.

[Bobby Lee]

She has a bakery.

[Andrew Santino]

She's still got a crush on me, right?

[Rudy]

Yeah.

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah. Like that. Love that. Dude, she's leaving me. Maybe. Maybe I should.

[Bobby Lee]

What do you mean?

[Andrew Santino]

She's going back to the Philippines.

[Bobby Lee]

I know. They'll be back.

[Andrew Santino]

Maybe I should go with her.

[Bobby Lee]

Back? Yeah, they'll be back.

[Andrew Santino]

I leave my life here in Los Angeles for your mom. Be such a great story.

[Rudy]

Yeah. But what about our dad?

[Andrew Santino]

What about him?

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah, what about your dad?

[Andrew Santino]

What about him?

[Bobby Lee]

I'm sorry.

[Andrew Santino]

I'm the new guy in town.

[Bobby Lee]

He's the new guy. He's the male version of Pippi Longstocking.

[Andrew Santino]

Imagine me at a village in the Philippines.

[Bobby Lee]

You'd be king. They'd be scared.

[Rudy]

Oh, yeah. All the girls would.

[Andrew Santino]

Let's do it.

[Bobby Lee]

No, no, no, no. Come on.

[Andrew Santino]

Let's rip apart our lives.

[Bobby Lee]

No, no, no, no. There's no golf courses.

[Andrew Santino]

How many redheaded people do you see in the Philippines?

[Rudy]

I've never seen.

[Bobby Lee]

Wow. Wow.

[Andrew Santino]

That's me.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah.

[Andrew Santino]

With my wife. White guy, enjoys holidays.

[Bobby Lee]

You and honey. It's in a tent somewhere. Are there black people in the Philippines?

[Rudy]

Yeah, yeah. Like our native people.

[Bobby Lee]

What do you mean, your native people?

[Andrew Santino]

You're saying people native to the Philippines?

[Rudy]

Yeah, yeah. They're really?

[Bobby Lee]

So there's like a Detroit in the Philippines?

[Andrew Santino]

This. This gentleman.

[Bobby Lee]

It's the indigenous people. Oh, is. Oh, she. She does look black.

[Rudy]

There's Negritos.

[Andrew Santino]

What? Little black person. Yeah. Well, that's for Spanish. It would be.

[Rudy]

That's our native people.

[Andrew Santino]

Wait a minute. The name is Negrito.

[Bobby Lee]

Yes. Interesting. Interesting. Yeah, yeah.

[Andrew Santino]

Wikipedia, it says.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah.

[Andrew Santino]

Zoom in up top.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. You say it then because you're Spanish. Read the whole thing. He's got to say it.

[Andrew Santino]

Thanks.

[Bobby Lee]

Okay.

[Andrew Santino]

It takes it off of me.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah, yeah. The word negrito. Yeah. Beautiful Spanish. Diminutive of Negro. Yeah, yeah. Very good. Keep going, Keep going.

[Andrew Santino]

It's used to mean little black person.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah.

[Andrew Santino]

Yikes.

[Bobby Lee]

So a lot. Yeah. Doc Willis is out there. Yeah. So you do have indigenous black people that live in the Philippines? The Philippines.

[Andrew Santino]

Were you. Are you friends with any of the indigenous people growing up? No. Why not?

[Bobby Lee]

Why not?

[Rudy]

They live in other islands.

[Bobby Lee]

They live in the other islands, right?

[Rudy]

South Central.

[Andrew Santino]

Southwest Southwest.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah. Southeast.

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah. Southeast Central.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah. Southeast.

[Andrew Santino]

Far southeast Central.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah. Is there. Do they have gangs?

[Rudy]

Gangs?

[Bobby Lee]

There's no, like, you know.

[Rudy]

It's a good tribe.

[Bobby Lee]

All right.

[Rudy]

We do have gangs, though.

[Bobby Lee]

Okay. What. What are the gang names in the Philippines? Do you have gang names?

[Andrew Santino]

It's Flip Flop Boys.

[Bobby Lee]

The Flip Flop.

[Andrew Santino]

The Flip Flop Boys. The Flip Flop Boys. They're up to no good.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah, they're up to no good. The Flip Flop.

[Andrew Santino]

Flip Flop Boys are bad boys. What are the name of the gangs?

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah.

[Andrew Santino]

Sigwe Segue. Sputnik.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah, yeah. Sputnik. Yeah. That's insane.

[Andrew Santino]

One of the largest and most well known syndicates in the country. Oh, my God. Bala Na gang, you know?

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah.

[Andrew Santino]

Bahala Na.

[Bobby Lee]

Bahala na. I'm a part of the Wareh Ware gang. I don't know if you know that.

[Andrew Santino]

What's Bahala Lang me.

[Rudy]

It's like a specific group.

[Andrew Santino]

We're going to get in trouble with. The Wari Wor Gang, pal.

[Bobby Lee]

Just a note. Worry, worry gang. We're just joking.

[Andrew Santino]

We're just joking.

[Bobby Lee]

You don't want to. With that guy. Is that. Is that War Gang member? Yeah. What? A bahala. That's a bahala.

[Andrew Santino]

No, we like them. We're good with all of them.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah, we're good with all. Let's go. Kurong Kong. Yeah.

[Andrew Santino]

Did you like that? Did I sound close?

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah,

[Andrew Santino]

go back. Go back to. To the names.

[Bobby Lee]

Go back to the name.

[Andrew Santino]

All right, there we. The last one is.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah, Vigilante group in the 80s. Oh, they're gone.

[Andrew Santino]

Do you guys.

[Bobby Lee]

What's wrong?

[Rudy]

Nothing. I'm listening.

[Bobby Lee]

All right. Do you know any gang members in the Philippines?

[Rudy]

No, but I remember in the village that we used to live.

[Bobby Lee]

Yes.

[Rudy]

There's. There was this a group of guys and. Oh, we're like. We're getting. We're gang members, so you have to do the. What is it? The initiation.

[Bobby Lee]

Let me guess. Let me guess. Yeah, let me guess. I didn't. Let me guess.

[Andrew Santino]

What's the initiation of the gang?

[Bobby Lee]

Oh, what's the initiation? You have to.

[Rudy]

No, we will go to the forest.

[Bobby Lee]

Slow down.

[Andrew Santino]

Okay, okay. What's going on?

[Bobby Lee]

What's going in the forest? Is that where the negaritos are? It sounds scary.

[Andrew Santino]

We go to the Negrito forest. What's going on?

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah, what's going on there?

[Andrew Santino]

What are you doing in the floor?

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah, what are you doing?

[Rudy]

Have like dead frogs and they would eat this.

[Bobby Lee]

Oh, you have to eat a dead frog. That doesn't sound that bad of an initiation. Yeah, they psychedelic frogs.

[Rudy]

And after you get a spanking.

[Andrew Santino]

Tough games. They spank you. They spank you with a paddle.

[Rudy]

No, I. I said no to the spanking.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah, yeah. Oh, you can say no.

[Andrew Santino]

You can say no to the game.

[Bobby Lee]

I'll eat the frog. No spanking.

[Andrew Santino]

You can just say no to a gag.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Andrew Santino]

Sopranos.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah.

[Andrew Santino]

Tony's like, you're gonna pay us what you owe us.

[Rudy]

Yeah.

[Andrew Santino]

The guy's like, I don't want to like, okay, what can we do?

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah, what can we do? So you said. But did you eat the frog?

[Rudy]

I just, like, licked it.

[Bobby Lee]

Oh, you looked. Is it psychedelic?

[Andrew Santino]

No.

[Bobby Lee]

It must be psychedelic.

[Andrew Santino]

Gross for just, like a nasty pond.

[Bobby Lee]

How do you.

[Rudy]

It's fine. Like, dead frog.

[Bobby Lee]

Oh, it's a dead frog.

[Andrew Santino]

Have you done that?

[Rudy]

No.

[Bobby Lee]

No.

[Andrew Santino]

So wait, that's too young. When you say initiation, that means you'd be in the gang once you did it. So did you get in the gang then? Oh, you had to let him spank you to get in the gang?

[Rudy]

It's not a real game. Yeah, I think it's just.

[Bobby Lee]

Oh, it's a fake again.

[Rudy]

They were like, oh, like, we're real. We're real. Like, we're Bloods.

[Bobby Lee]

There's Bloods out there. Is that what you're saying?

[Andrew Santino]

They're certainly not.

[Bobby Lee]

They're certainly not.

[Rudy]

That's what they said.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah.

[Rudy]

Yeah.

[Bobby Lee]

They were lying. Just a spanky. Yeah.

[Andrew Santino]

We had the Frog Bloods.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Andrew Santino]

They are active Blood gang members in the operating sets in the Philippines.

[Bobby Lee]

Well, we're wrong. Okay. Yeah. We're learning. Yeah.

[Andrew Santino]

Oh, in Cebu.

[Bobby Lee]

In Cebu. Wow. The True Brown Style.

[Andrew Santino]

The name of the tbs. True Brown style.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah. Yeah, yeah. Wow. Through Brown style. Yeah. So have you run into true tbs

[Andrew Santino]

and we should say something to the gangs.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah.

[Andrew Santino]

Philippines. We love you guys.

[Bobby Lee]

We're in the middle.

[Andrew Santino]

We are big fans.

[Bobby Lee]

We're corrupt cops.

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah, we're corrupt.

[Bobby Lee]

Like, we were cops and we would do dealings.

[Andrew Santino]

Let you go.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah.

[Andrew Santino]

Bobby, be careful. We don't want these guys to get mad at us.

[Bobby Lee]

Well, I've been to Cebu many times. You know, I've never run into a tbs.

[Andrew Santino]

I haven't been spanked years.

[Rudy]

You're in the bougie parts of you.

[Andrew Santino]

That's right, girl. Say it, girl.

[Rudy]

Wait, you're never.

[Bobby Lee]

I'm sorry. I'm sorry.

[Rudy]

Well, he went to Marigundon.

[Bobby Lee]

I went to Marigundon. Okay. I went for A swim. I went to a swimming market.

[Andrew Santino]

Mini gun down. Is that what it's called?

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah. So Marigandon. I went. And what did I do in Marigandan?

[Rudy]

Tell them you recorded the plot podcast.

[Bobby Lee]

No. What about the goat and the feeding the children?

[Rudy]

That's not.

[Bobby Lee]

What is that?

[Rudy]

That's another area.

[Bobby Lee]

Oh, but you're not going to give me props for that.

[Andrew Santino]

You fed goats to children?

[Bobby Lee]

No, no, no. I bought a bunch of spaghetti.

[Rudy]

Yeah. Spaghetti. Oh, yeah, yeah.

[Andrew Santino]

What, like spaghetti noodles?

[Bobby Lee]

Hey, spaghetti.

[Andrew Santino]

Oh, there.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah, that kind of spaghetti. Yeah. And I bought a bunch of spaghetti and there was also bread and some. A little salad and went to a village. Right. Everyone was naked.

[Andrew Santino]

Okay.

[Bobby Lee]

Coming out of the village. You know what I mean? A little bit. There was a goat tied to a. Right.

[Andrew Santino]

There's always a goat tied up.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Andrew Santino]

Always.

[Bobby Lee]

I just said it again. Different than a five.

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah.

[Bobby Lee]

And I. We had a truck.

[Rudy]

Yeah.

[Bobby Lee]

A van. And I fed the villagers boxes of spaghetti.

[Rudy]

Yeah.

[Bobby Lee]

And that story's in the memoir it was signing yesterday. That's in the book.

[Andrew Santino]

Is that the author, Bobby Lee, feeding Us spaghetti?

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah.

[Andrew Santino]

You just gave out.

[Bobby Lee]

Well, I want to try hard spaghetti.

[Rudy]

No, it's already cooked.

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah, Cooked spaghetti.

[Bobby Lee]

I didn't give dry noodles. Like, hey, you have boiling water. Wait, you gotta make your own pasta sauce. Cooked spaghetti told the story really bad. Like, he gave meal kits to people. Yeah, Meal kits. Yeah.

[Andrew Santino]

I wish it was the other way. Just handfuls into their hands.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah.

[Andrew Santino]

Spaghetti. Spaghetti.

[Bobby Lee]

And they were. They seemed to be very happy about it.

[Andrew Santino]

You did charity.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah. So a little bit. And then. And then I did my talent show out there, which is fun. Yeah. So I've done some stuff over there. I never rented any TBs or.

[Andrew Santino]

And you never want to. You never want to respect and love the tbs. Do you have motorcycle gangs?

[Rudy]

No.

[Andrew Santino]

Do people have motorcycles out there?

[Rudy]

Yeah, it's all motorcycles.

[Andrew Santino]

It's almost mopeds. No, those are mopeds. I mean, motorcycles.

[Rudy]

Yeah, I think.

[Bobby Lee]

So what's the difference between a moped and a motorcycle?

[Andrew Santino]

A lot of ccs.

[Rudy]

Yeah.

[Andrew Santino]

It's a much bigger engine.

[Bobby Lee]

Well, because of the conflict that we're in right now. I mean, Philippines was the hardest hit, really, in the beginning of this conflict in terms of gas and.

[Andrew Santino]

So what should we do about it? Can we do something? What are we supposed to do? There's nothing we can do other than house Filipinos.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah, that's what I do. I do what I can.

[Andrew Santino]

You did what you.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah, yeah. Spaghetti and everything.

[Andrew Santino]

Spaghetti.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah, yeah. Three week old meat. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Andrew Santino]

Can't believe.

[Bobby Lee]

Black pools.

[Andrew Santino]

Black pools.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. I do everything I can.

[Andrew Santino]

Negrito pools. Okay, give me what's going on in your lives. Rudy. What are you doing? Yeah.

[Rudy]

Babysitting.

[Andrew Santino]

That's all you're doing all the time. That's your full time job now.

[Bobby Lee]

American dream.

[Rudy]

Yeah. We met camping.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah.

[Rudy]

Where we tried to invite you to Bobby, but.

[Bobby Lee]

No, no, you never invited me.

[Andrew Santino]

That's Joshua Tree or something.

[Rudy]

Leo Carrillo.

[Andrew Santino]

Leo Carrillo.

[Bobby Lee]

You bought a 10.

[Andrew Santino]

That sound like home, huh?

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah.

[Andrew Santino]

When we went. We. We went camping up Lake Kachuma. Oh, I love Lake Kachuma and the dog. I was like, oh, wow. She can. She's like restricted. She doesn't have to. We don't have to worry about leash or anything.

[Bobby Lee]

Why?

[Andrew Santino]

It's like fenced off where we were.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah.

[Andrew Santino]

And I'm thinking, oh, this is great. She jumps into a, like a briar patch and has burrs all over. I spent like three hours picking out. Out of her phone. I felt so bad crying. It sucked. And then I was bummed because we didn't get the tent set up. And I was like, this is. We should just go.

[Bobby Lee]

Oh my God, you must snapped.

[Andrew Santino]

I did. I was.

[Bobby Lee]

I told you about my cousin Andy and I. What my. My parents did, huh? Oh, we go camping. This is what my dad said. And we're like my cousin Andy and you know, me and also Andy's father, my uncle.

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah.

[Bobby Lee]

And so we set up a tent, right? We went to sleep, and when we woke up, they were not there.

[Andrew Santino]

Andy and his dad.

[Bobby Lee]

My dad and my uncle were not there. They went to a hotel.

[Andrew Santino]

That sounds right.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah, yeah. And they drove back and they would sleep good. They're like, you left us here.

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah.

[Bobby Lee]

You would do that?

[Andrew Santino]

It's camping. You gotta learn. That's it. What?

[Bobby Lee]

I know, but I'm 12.

[Andrew Santino]

You gotta. You gotta survive.

[Bobby Lee]

Okay. Okay.

[Andrew Santino]

Gotta survive.

[Bobby Lee]

All right. It. But let's go back to camping. I. I will never camp, ever.

[Rudy]

Why not, though?

[Andrew Santino]

I don't like it.

[Bobby Lee]

I don't like it.

[Andrew Santino]

I like every. I like fishing and I like all that other stuff around it, but I don't want to sleep there. I'll go sleep somewhere else.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah. Because we have buildings now. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Buildings are great.

[Andrew Santino]

Also, the ground is very uncomfortable. I don't care how comfortable you are.

[Rudy]

You have a bed though. Like a padding thing.

[Andrew Santino]

Oh, you guys do glamping?

[Rudy]

No.

[Andrew Santino]

You don't have padding when you do that?

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah.

[Rudy]

You.

[Andrew Santino]

You could do, like, an insert into a sleeping bag, but it's not. That's not much.

[Rudy]

We did not do glamping.

[Andrew Santino]

No, you did. Sleeping bag with an insert, so it's more padded. Oh, not on a cot.

[Rudy]

No.

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah, the ground's knocked that comfortable.

[Bobby Lee]

But you didn't sleep well because when you came home, you slept all day. So what happened?

[Rudy]

Because I couldn't sleep. Because I thought we would just die.

[Bobby Lee]

That's exactly true.

[Andrew Santino]

True.

[Bobby Lee]

You don't camp.

[Andrew Santino]

Did you guys cook? Did you guys do grilling and stuff?

[Bobby Lee]

Did you hear scary things outside of the town?

[Rudy]

There was a guy screaming at his, like, at 4:00am all right, what was he saying?

[Bobby Lee]

What was he saying?

[Andrew Santino]

First of all, I wasn't yelling at her. I was talking to her. He was screaming at his wife.

[Rudy]

Yeah. He was like, you're stupid. Yeah, dumbass. Like, why are you doing that?

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah. Whoa.

[Rudy]

Whoa.

[Andrew Santino]

Now that is scary.

[Rudy]

Yeah.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah.

[Andrew Santino]

What's gonna happen?

[Rudy]

Yeah.

[Andrew Santino]

He's screaming at her at 4 in the morning.

[Rudy]

Yeah.

[Andrew Santino]

Did anybody say shut up?

[Rudy]

No.

[Andrew Santino]

How far away were the campsites from each other?

[Rudy]

Pretty close.

[Andrew Santino]

Oh, yeah. See, that's not. Also not.

[Bobby Lee]

That's not camping either.

[Andrew Santino]

You got to be. Well, camping got to be way out.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah. You got to hike.

[Rudy]

You got to do, like, a pepper spray. I didn't have a knife, so you have to go.

[Andrew Santino]

You didn't have a knife. Strange.

[Bobby Lee]

You have to do what Ivanka and Jared did. They went to that island, right. Took their shoes, went swimming.

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah.

[Bobby Lee]

They swam to an island.

[Andrew Santino]

That's right.

[Bobby Lee]

Barefoot.

[Andrew Santino]

That's right.

[Bobby Lee]

They hiked up top of the mountain. And then they bought it. They bought it. Right. That's real camping.

[Andrew Santino]

That's real camping. And that's what you guys need.

[Bobby Lee]

Go to Albania, buy a mountain. Yeah, that's a real. Yeah, that's real camping.

[Andrew Santino]

So not. How did you know?

[Bobby Lee]

In the building resort, you.

[Andrew Santino]

Did you build a fire pit? You didn't build a fire pit and you didn't grill or anything?

[Rudy]

There was no light. There was no light.

[Andrew Santino]

What did you do for food?

[Rudy]

Sandwiches. We bought sandwiches. And mustard.

[Andrew Santino]

You brought sandwiches and mustard?

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah.

[Andrew Santino]

What do you mean? What kind of sandwiches?

[Rudy]

It was just. Just bread. Just bread. Let's lettuce, ham, cheese, and mustard.

[Bobby Lee]

Prison food. Yeah, prison food.

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah, I like a ham and cheese.

[Rudy]

Making it in the dark. Yeah.

[Bobby Lee]

That sounds like the worst time ever.

[Andrew Santino]

You didn't just. You didn't have a flashlight?

[Rudy]

No. Our phones, but then that was our phone, and then we didn't have data. So at 10am we were just like, what are we gonna do?

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah, exactly.

[Andrew Santino]

What?

[Bobby Lee]

You know, it's like those cave people that go, what do they plunge it? What do they call them?

[Andrew Santino]

Spelunking.

[Bobby Lee]

Spelunking.

[Rudy]

Yeah.

[Bobby Lee]

And they get stuck in a crack like this. Right? And they get stuck and they're like, I think I'm gonna die. Right. But it's like, you chose to be there. You did this.

[Andrew Santino]

You spelunked.

[Bobby Lee]

You know, I've never been in a cave, stuck in a crack.

[Andrew Santino]

Never.

[Bobby Lee]

Have you ever been it?

[Andrew Santino]

I'm thinking about it.

[Bobby Lee]

I don't.

[Andrew Santino]

I'm.

[Bobby Lee]

What about that one dude, that movie with his own seven hours?

[Andrew Santino]

What, 127.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah. And he had to cut his own arm off. I've just never been in that situation.

[Andrew Santino]

Never.

[Bobby Lee]

Do you know why?

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah.

[Bobby Lee]

I don't go out there.

[Andrew Santino]

You don't do that.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah. When people are coming back, like, you know, I mean, what happened to your arm? Shark attack. Well, that's. Never will happen to me.

[Andrew Santino]

Well, you do go in the ocean.

[Bobby Lee]

I know, but I. Tiger sharks. Yes.

[Rudy]

Yeah.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah. But in South Africa. No.

[Andrew Santino]

Not gonna.

[Bobby Lee]

What?

[Andrew Santino]

Africa?

[Bobby Lee]

Well, I've been in there.

[Rudy]

Shark.

[Bobby Lee]

O.

[Andrew Santino]

You're fogged up again, huh?

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah.

[Andrew Santino]

Big fog guy, you know, It's a good episode if he's fogging.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah. Oh, my God.

[Andrew Santino]

So no camping anymore.

[Rudy]

No more camping.

[Andrew Santino]

All right.

[Bobby Lee]

No, Never again.

[Andrew Santino]

Never.

[Bobby Lee]

Okay.

[Andrew Santino]

I think it's a good idea.

[Bobby Lee]

I think that's a really good.

[Andrew Santino]

You don't need to camp.

[Bobby Lee]

You don't need to camp.

[Rudy]

Yeah.

[Andrew Santino]

I don't know. You're comfortable where you are. You're living in his house, living a good life.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah.

[Andrew Santino]

I. Oh, I'll tell you what I was gonna see. And I'm glad I bailed. I bailed on Scary Movie. My buddy told me. He was like, it's. It didn't. It didn't do it. Which sucks is I loved the first ones.

[Bobby Lee]

I can do it.

[Rudy]

I just.

[Andrew Santino]

But the original was so funny. You know why? It was a moment in time.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah.

[Andrew Santino]

I think it was just a great moment in time.

[Bobby Lee]

Wow. Wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow, wow. More money. Money, money, money, money, money.

[Andrew Santino]

I'll say this. This might be the last time that we see you on the show for a little while, so probably a year,

[Bobby Lee]

year and a half.

[Rudy]

Yeah.

[Andrew Santino]

We'll miss you. Yeah.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah.

[Andrew Santino]

And go have fun back at home. You'll be back. Maybe. We'll see.

[Bobby Lee]

It's. It's funny. She's like, I can't wait to go home. Yeah.

[Andrew Santino]

You miss the Philippines? Like crazy.

[Bobby Lee]

And I can't meet my, my, my friends and this and that.

[Rudy]

And then attitude to Tito Bobby a lot.

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah. She's feel that. She's been doing attitude.

[Bobby Lee]

Your attitudes. I mean, why, why though?

[Rudy]

No, cuz like the last time he was like, I went on a date and he was like, I wanna, I wanna meet this guy. I'm, I'm gonna, I'm gonna go to his profile, I'm gonna message him. I'm like, why?

[Bobby Lee]

And we're gonna miss you.

[Andrew Santino]

We are gonna miss you.

[Bobby Lee]

And I. And I also believe that you're gonna miss being here.

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah, I don't.

[Rudy]

I.

[Andrew Santino]

That part I don't believe.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah. I don't know.

[Andrew Santino]

I think you'll be. You'll miss some parts of the States. You'll miss Rudy.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah.

[Rudy]

You'll miss to be in the Philippines.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah, she prefers it. Would you want to go back? Yeah. You want to stay here? Yeah. You're an American.

[Andrew Santino]

You are.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah.

[Rudy]

Yeah.

[Andrew Santino]

But I mean. Good luck.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah, good luck.

[Andrew Santino]

We hope you come back.

[Bobby Lee]

I hope you come back. Yeah.

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah. Say thank you for being a bad friend.

[Rudy]

Great.