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Bobby Lee
You two are bad friends.
Andrew Santino
Who are these two idiots?
Bobby Lee
White dude and an Asian dude.
Carlos
You two are disgusting. You two or something.
Andrew Santino
We're bad friends. Oh, what a Night. Rating May about the 31st. I put together a show of hers and hymns from Asia. What an eye.
Carlos
I'm gonna get the lyrics. Oh, what? Oh, what Night Lyrics.
Andrew Santino
Oh, what a night.
Carlos
Oh, what a night. By the way, I was in an internment camp I was full of glee.
Andrew Santino
What a lady what a night.
Carlos
I want to be oh, what a night late December 1945. Look in the sky and whatnot. That night.
Andrew Santino
It was so unbelievably bright.
Carlos
Was it 45? I don't know.
Andrew Santino
45.
Carlos
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Andrew Santino
How about similar time, too, from the German's perspective?
Carlos
Yeah, that would have been a terrible night, actually.
Andrew Santino
What?
Carlos
Just. You're out, you know? I mean, you're. You're like, you know me picking rice. I don't know how they do it. And obviously you look in the sky. I know. What a dreadful.
Andrew Santino
It doesn't even make a noise, does it? Dude, did you see. Have you seen the rehearsal with Nathan Fielder? He learned to fly a commercial plane. It's like one of the craziest things I think I've ever seen in my entire life.
Carlos
Yeah, I think I saw him in a news interview saying that, but he really did. Wow.
Andrew Santino
Like, I thought I was a bit. And then I was like, is this a bit inside of a bit inside? Because he's very layered. He digs down his deep.
Carlos
So layered. Yeah.
Andrew Santino
He literally flies. He looks like one a 730. He does look like a pilot.
Carlos
Yeah. Yeah. Does he land it su. Obviously.
Andrew Santino
Smooth dude.
Carlos
Really.
Andrew Santino
He does a great job, but he had tons of hours of training. He did all the training.
Carlos
Wow.
Andrew Santino
So he flies a. A comm. He has a commercial airline pilot's license. You need to watch it, man.
Carlos
That's incredible. I want to watch.
Andrew Santino
The guy's absolutely brilliant.
Carlos
Oh, he's so. He's top level.
Andrew Santino
He's. I know. Can you imagine the difference between guys like him and us? It's unbelievable.
Carlos
Yeah, he's at the top of, like.
Andrew Santino
I met another one of our.
Carlos
Where do you think we're bottom dwellers.
Andrew Santino
We're. Yeah, we're. What are the. What are the fish at the bottom? Carp. What are the bullheads? Whatever feeds on dirt? Yeah, that's us. Dirt, dust and grime.
Carlos
No, we're like.
Andrew Santino
That's us.
Carlos
Yeah, we are that.
Andrew Santino
Yeah.
Carlos
Yeah, that's you for sure.
Andrew Santino
That's me.
Carlos
That's for you for sure?
Andrew Santino
Absolutely. Me?
Carlos
Yeah.
Andrew Santino
And go with.
Carlos
What am I?
Andrew Santino
I'm the black. That's you.
Carlos
That's me?
Andrew Santino
Yeah.
Carlos
I don't even have the black one.
Andrew Santino
You're an angler fish.
Carlos
Oh, yeah. Where am I?
Andrew Santino
There you are.
Carlos
That's me, dude. Yeah. Yeah, for sure.
Andrew Santino
That is one of the ugliest fish I've ever seen.
Carlos
I know.
Andrew Santino
Your life.
Carlos
I know.
Andrew Santino
It's unbelievable. Would you eat it? Would you eat.
Carlos
Depends how hungry I am.
Andrew Santino
See, this is the thing about food. Food has to look good for me, too.
Carlos
I would if I was a chef. I would slice that up, dude.
Andrew Santino
You. I bet you can make it look nice.
Carlos
I would chop the nose off.
Andrew Santino
I did the Ice House last night with. And I went back to. Back with Arsenio. And I'm telling you, man. Still to this day, Arsenio hall is a joke writing machine. A cultural icon still up on his game. He on his aame.
Carlos
Not just aame, he's also kind.
Andrew Santino
He's the sweetest guy, man. Anybody's genuine. It's not his generation, like, right above you. His generation has a lot of. Well, he.
Carlos
He's three generations before me.
Andrew Santino
No. What do you mean? He's one class above you. You're 53. He's 68.
Carlos
What class are you then?
Andrew Santino
Two below you, pal.
Carlos
No, you're one below me.
Andrew Santino
Two.
Carlos
There's no way.
Andrew Santino
Yeah, there's people in between you and I.
Carlos
You're 40.
Andrew Santino
I'm 41. You're 53. There's.
Carlos
That's the same difference between me and Arsenio.
Andrew Santino
You're not listening. There were less comics back then, though. Classes were smaller. The people that made it back, that was the. Everyone. Everyone's nodding at me. There's way more comics now today than it was.
Carlos
I was around back then. There was triple the amount.
Andrew Santino
Not. Not.
Carlos
And then the comedy death.
Andrew Santino
Successful comedians. There's way more now than there's ever been.
Carlos
Oh, my God. This is the most insane thing I've ever heard.
Andrew Santino
There's way more comics selling tickets now on the road than there was when your generation.
Carlos
You.
Andrew Santino
You had like 10 guys selling tickets. There's like 30 people selling tickets now. Like real tickets.
Carlos
Eddie Murphy selling tickets.
Andrew Santino
Go on.
Carlos
Martin Lawrence selling tickets.
Andrew Santino
Okay.
Carlos
Jerry Seinfeld selling tickets.
Andrew Santino
Who's that?
Carlos
Okay, Carlin. I mean, the list goes on.
Andrew Santino
I'm telling you, Cosby, there's got to be more comics now than ever. Because the Internet, there's guys that we don't even know that sell out theaters that we're not even aware of because comedy is just so broad now.
Carlos
I would hate to be Bill Cosby's assistant.
Andrew Santino
I mean, imagine the errands.
Carlos
Go get it. Okay.
Andrew Santino
It's like, here. Here's that medicine.
Carlos
Yeah, that's what I'm saying.
Andrew Santino
Why so much?
Carlos
A lot.
Andrew Santino
Did you see Ricky Gervais got a star in the Hollywood Walk of Fame? And he. And he goes, I'm here next to so many legends. Michael Jackson, Bill Cosby. It was great, dude. It was great. It was a great speech, really. He's the man. He just did the Hollywood Bowl. He sold more tickets. I'm sorry, not more tickets. He had the highest grossing sale at the Hollywood bowl because his ticket prices are set differently, but he had the highest grossing Hollywood bowl sell.
Carlos
Wow.
Andrew Santino
Is that crazy?
Carlos
Is it crazy? He's so funny, though.
Andrew Santino
So famous. So funny.
Carlos
I love all his specials.
Andrew Santino
I know. I begged him to be on this show and he. I think I wrote him a DM one time and I said, would you come on Bad Friends? I'd love to have you on the podcast. And he. And he just wrote, I'm all right, mate. And I was like, great, that's good.
Carlos
Did he really respond?
Andrew Santino
Yeah, he did, yeah.
Carlos
You know him?
Andrew Santino
No. Oh, he knows us.
Carlos
Yeah.
Andrew Santino
Yeah, he knows we know him. We love him. He likes us.
Carlos
Right here.
Andrew Santino
I'll try to find it.
Carlos
Oh, my God.
Andrew Santino
I try to find it.
Carlos
I hate. I hate rejection.
Andrew Santino
Oh, right. He just wrote cheers.
Carlos
Oh, cheer. That's good.
Andrew Santino
No, it's nice.
Carlos
Cheers is. Yes.
Andrew Santino
No, I don't think so.
Carlos
Yeah. Cheers. Cheers.
Andrew Santino
You know what cheers is? Cheers is the British thumbs up to a text. When you just get like a thumbs up, it's like saying, yeah, sure, whatever.
Carlos
No, Liverpool 1. Cheers.
Andrew Santino
Cheers. Cheers, mate. Yeah, but Liverpool won. Cheers. That's a different Cheers. That's. Yes, but otherwise, like this, say, have a good day to me.
Carlos
Go give us something else. Huh? I stubbed my toe.
Andrew Santino
Yeah. Cheers. It's applicable for everything.
Carlos
Right.
Andrew Santino
It's kind of like our what's up?
Carlos
This Jamba Juice line is too long.
Andrew Santino
Oh, yeah, it is.
Carlos
I see.
Andrew Santino
Because you could be annoyed.
Carlos
I understand it. I understand.
Andrew Santino
Are you getting geared up and excited for London and Dublin? I'm actually so excited to go over there.
Carlos
Yeah. Cheers. Cheers. Cheer. Cheers. Cheers. Cheers. Yeah.
Andrew Santino
So on this show, yeah, what we do is we banter about stuff. And what I do is I find ways to, like, lead us down new conversations.
Carlos
It's so. It's so funny what you're Doing right now? Because a lot. A lot of times you don't agree. Last episode, you didn't agree. Well, when you negate it.
Andrew Santino
When you.
Carlos
So I just negated you. And don't ever talk to me like that, son.
Andrew Santino
I'll talk to you how I want.
Carlos
All right? You're one generation below me.
Andrew Santino
Two.
Carlos
No, dude.
Andrew Santino
Listen, old man. Yeah, I'm two below you, pal.
Carlos
You look older than me. Okay, let me just say this, okay? If no one knew who we were and we lined us up right, and go, how old are these guys? We'd be the same age.
Andrew Santino
That's not true.
Carlos
Yeah, and that's the sad part.
Andrew Santino
I mean, they do that to be nice to you, cuz you're portly. They do that to portly guys to be nice. Anytime you see a portly guy, you're like, you. You. You look young.
Carlos
Okay, I'm not portly anymore.
Andrew Santino
It stays with you.
Carlos
Do I still look portly?
Andrew Santino
What?
Carlos
Carlos. What? You look great. I look portly. Be honest. You're like. You're 70% there.
Andrew Santino
You're skinny fat. You're skinny fat because your body is skinnier, but they're still fat.
Carlos
I know.
Andrew Santino
It's the level of health.
Carlos
I looked in my mirror today. Oh, no.
Andrew Santino
Change your diet. Stop eating trash. I know you're eating trash. What'd you have for breakfast?
Carlos
Nothing. That's not trash.
Andrew Santino
That's not good.
Carlos
That's not bad either. Nothing.
Andrew Santino
Or would you have for lunch?
Carlos
I didn't eat anything yet.
Andrew Santino
Okay, this is bad.
Carlos
Yeah, you're.
Andrew Santino
And by the. There's got to be something else. It's not intermittent fasting. You're intermittent.
Carlos
I woke up at three. What can you eat from three to four? I raced over here. I had to do things and then come over here.
Andrew Santino
What did you have to do?
Carlos
I had to look at my body in the mirror. Oh, my God. I'm portly.
Andrew Santino
You're not poorly.
Carlos
Yeah.
Andrew Santino
You actually look better than you've ever looked. I'm shocked.
Carlos
What the. What? Would you say that even out loud?
Andrew Santino
You got me all paranoid Comedy show.
Carlos
Yeah. Yeah. Oh. Oh. You know what, dude? I'm tired of you lecturing me about comedy. Dude. Okay, say that again.
Andrew Santino
Why don't you. Why don't you lecture me about.
Carlos
Just say you're excited about London. Start there.
Andrew Santino
Man. I'm so excited to go to London.
Carlos
Me too. Oh, my God. Cheers. My God. What are we gonna do? We're gonna get some crumpets.
Andrew Santino
Yeah, we'll get some crumpets.
Carlos
Yeah, Yeah.
Andrew Santino
I watched a clip the other day.
Carlos
You know what I would see? A nutcracker. Are there nutcrackers out there?
Andrew Santino
Oh, they got them.
Carlos
Okay, good.
Andrew Santino
I watched a clip of a bunch of what I assume to be female footballers and they were asking them what their favorite biscuits are. Now, biscuits here, different story. Biscuits. There are cookies. Right?
Carlos
Yeah.
Andrew Santino
This is. This is interesting. Look this up. Look it up. I don't know, it's a team. It was like a TikTok, but they're right. They're like about to go on a bus. But the point, my point is, look this. They all said the same thing. They all said chocolate digestives. That's the name of a cookie.
Carlos
Oh, yeah, I've had those. But they're so good, Right?
Andrew Santino
The name Digestive is so off putting.
Carlos
Have you noticed, though, it does digest better.
Andrew Santino
It does. It goes right in and out.
Carlos
Yeah.
Andrew Santino
Chocolate digestives.
Carlos
Yeah.
Andrew Santino
Milk Ch.
Carlos
It's a weird name.
Andrew Santino
Everything about this place is goofy.
Carlos
Zoom in.
Andrew Santino
Look at that. 266 grams of chocolate digestives.
Carlos
Yeah. Wow.
Andrew Santino
Be normal. Look at the name of the company. McVicties.
Carlos
Yeah, yeah.
Andrew Santino
All right. Get some McVicties there. These guys are cartoon characters, right? Like, they haven't caught up. Look at that, though.
Carlos
It.
Andrew Santino
They are very good.
Carlos
I mean, you know my favorite, the Candy Anastasia.
Andrew Santino
A Candy Anastasia?
Carlos
Yeah. Would you like a Candy Anastasia?
Andrew Santino
Yes, please. With a glass of warm cupulosu. Yeah, there it is. McVichty's Digestive Milk Chocolate flavor coating waffles. I mean, it's insane.
Carlos
It's crazy.
Andrew Santino
Since 1839.
Carlos
It's very Japanese, actually.
Andrew Santino
It is quite Japanese, right? It is. That's also that. That is exactly what Japan. What are they called? Japan. People do.
Carlos
So what I'm going to say to you is, is that let's start over.
Andrew Santino
Start over.
Carlos
Don't be negative. Yeah.
Andrew Santino
Be positive.
Carlos
Yeah, yeah. Because since we've been here, you've called me portly, right?
Andrew Santino
I did.
Carlos
Since we've been here.
Andrew Santino
I take it back. You do take it back. Okay, I just took it back.
Carlos
You see that? I negate jokes.
Andrew Santino
Careful with that word.
Carlos
Yeah, yeah. Why?
Andrew Santino
So you saw. Am I what? Do you see Mission Impossible?
Carlos
No, I.
Andrew Santino
We. Let's go see it together tonight. You want to see it tonight? Yeah, I have tonight, but it's got to be IMAX.
Carlos
Let's IMAX it tonight.
Andrew Santino
But there's only four IMAXes in LA.
Carlos
Let's go tonight. It's the only night I can do it because I go to Hawaii Wednesday let's do it.
Andrew Santino
Okay.
Carlos
Okay. Tonight.
Andrew Santino
I've heard it's dinner and. And dinner and imac.
Carlos
Imac.
Andrew Santino
I heard it's not that good. Yeah, I've heard a lot of difference. Oh, you didn't like it? You saw it?
Carlos
I saw it. I think it's pretty good. But the first. The first hour is flashbacks of the previous movies. And I'm a fan. I've seen every single one, so that'll be very nostalgic for me.
Andrew Santino
I haven't missed one.
Carlos
It's White Girl. That's never seen it before. Like, what the is going on? You know, I mean. I mean, that's not as, you know. I mean, HD as you know.
Andrew Santino
You know, I mean, is that going to be in. Is that going to be. Their promo is like, don't bring a white girl.
Carlos
Yeah.
Andrew Santino
Mission Impossible. Don't bring a white girl.
Carlos
Yeah.
Andrew Santino
I can't. I can't wait to see it because it's his last one.
Carlos
I hate romantic movies. Anyway, I saw it last night because people on Tick Tock.
Andrew Santino
You saw what last night?
Carlos
Taken.
Andrew Santino
The original Taken?
Carlos
Yeah. I've never seen it before.
Andrew Santino
Oh, my God, it's such a good movie.
Carlos
I hated it.
Andrew Santino
What? That movie's so good.
Carlos
It's after you see all the Equalizers and John Wick and you go back to see Taken, right? It's like, what is this bullshit?
Andrew Santino
This is the problem.
Carlos
It doesn't make any sense.
Andrew Santino
Well, because it's old, dude. The movie came out of such a long time ago. It's not gonna stand the test of time because there's so many better versions.
Carlos
You go to Paris and all of a sudden there's a guy that, like, puts you into fucking human trafficking. That's fucking. That's never happened.
Andrew Santino
I know, but what. That's happening right now all the time at la.
Carlos
Twice. At la?
Andrew Santino
Yeah. You've been kidnapped twice.
Carlos
And I've come back every time, though.
Andrew Santino
You have.
Carlos
Without a fucking father who's part of the CIA or whatever, you know, back of my son. Yeah. I crawl through the mud.
Andrew Santino
I will kill you.
Carlos
Right, Listen closely.
Andrew Santino
If you have Bobby, I will find you. I will kill you, dude. The Asian version of Taken would be so funny.
Carlos
So funny, dude.
Andrew Santino
But they would turn him in right away.
Carlos
Yeah.
Andrew Santino
Can you imagine how quickly they. If he was ever caped, captured, how quickly would they give him back?
Carlos
If I was in the story, if I was in the story and my dad went to the one of the brothel, I would have been like, leave me.
Andrew Santino
Leave me.
Carlos
Here they have opium, right? Right. And I'm fucking a lot. You know what I mean?
Andrew Santino
Leave me here, Papa.
Carlos
I would. I would stay there.
Andrew Santino
So you're telling me that MI is not gonna be worth it to go see?
Carlos
It's worth it. It's worth it.
Andrew Santino
It's his last movie.
Carlos
Yeah.
Andrew Santino
In this vein, yeah. What are we gonna do without Tom Cruise? I'm not even kidding. What are we gonna do?
Carlos
He just did a movie with Ariana Ratto. What's his name? Did he do that?
Andrew Santino
Don't ever do that again.
Carlos
Yeah, don't ever do that.
Andrew Santino
Pissed me right off.
Carlos
That pissed me off. Number one, he's doing. He already did that film that's in the can, right? He's thinking about it, doing another Maverick.
Andrew Santino
Yeah, I know, but this is something. Mi is so special. There's something about it. It's like Bond. It's special.
Carlos
It is pretty special. The first one was so good.
Andrew Santino
So unbelievably good. Yeah, I've seen it maybe a thousand.
Carlos
Me too. It's my go to movie to be relaxed. What's that song? Oh, Hot Betty Band. The band. Oh, that's what you look like, McConnell. Yeah. Oh, yeah, back. Oh, Black Betty. Banga Bang. Oh, Black Betty. Yeah. Look at that. That's yuk. McConnell. Oh, what's going on here?
Andrew Santino
That looks like you doing an impression of me. That face he's making.
Carlos
But is that the look you're going for?
Andrew Santino
It is like long hair. I mean, I like a 70s vibe.
Carlos
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I think that's what it is.
Andrew Santino
Talking to the mic. Why is the mic so low? I can't hear anybody today. You like a 70s vibe.
Carlos
Complaining about all the time. I.
Andrew Santino
Have you seen him today?
Carlos
Everything.
Andrew Santino
Oh, you know what it is? I'm anxious.
Carlos
Okay, let's talk about it.
Andrew Santino
Well, I'm leaving tomorrow for two weeks. And I'm like. I'm. I'm all. Every time. I gotta go pack in the suitcase and my dog sits and she cries by the suitcase.
Carlos
No, she sits and she.
Andrew Santino
She literally puts her head next to and goes, oh, no, I hate it so much. I hate suitcases. When I roll it out of the closet, immediately she goes. She takes a breath.
Carlos
Oh, my God. She knows when you're gone, dude, It's.
Andrew Santino
It's awful. Not only does she know when I'm gone, this is something. And look, I know I'm being a dumb dog guy right now.
Carlos
Yeah.
Andrew Santino
She has no idea when the I'm coming back. Right. She has no clue. Right for some reason, the energy probably conveyed by my wife in the house or something.
Carlos
Yeah.
Andrew Santino
She will just sit by the front window that day and wait for me to come home. Oh, it's like she. I swear to God, it's so stupid. I know I'm being annoying, but, like, it's one of those things where she won't do that any other day that I'm gone, but the day that I'm coming back. It's not like she. How would she know? She will sit by the front window.
Carlos
Wow.
Andrew Santino
It's creepy. Their intuition is.
Carlos
You know what my dogs do when I'm leaving?
Andrew Santino
What? All over the house.
Carlos
No. I go. I'm leaving. They go. They go. Yeah. And they just. They walk away. They don't give a.
Andrew Santino
That's because you have too many foreigners coming and going in your home.
Carlos
I have three foreigners in my house.
Andrew Santino
Gotta get rid of those.
Carlos
Yeah, I know. Wait, maybe it's the foreigners. Them up.
Andrew Santino
They are. They're manipulating.
Carlos
I have seven animals. No one gives a shit. And when I come back, they're like, oh, you again.
Andrew Santino
You. Is this you? Is this your place?
Carlos
Yeah. I honestly believe my cat Bojo doesn't even know who I am.
Andrew Santino
No way.
Carlos
You.
Andrew Santino
Bojo loves you.
Carlos
No. Every morning I go, good morning, Bojo. And he. Where am I?
Andrew Santino
Maybe he has Alzheimer's.
Carlos
I know he's always been like that. I've raised him since a kitten.
Andrew Santino
Yeah.
Carlos
Every time. Every morning he pretends like, what's going on?
Andrew Santino
Do cats get dementia and Alzheimer's? Do they?
Carlos
He's six years old.
Andrew Santino
It starts early.
Carlos
Oh, yes.
Andrew Santino
Cats can develop a form of dementia called feline cognitive dysfunction, similar to cognitive decline seen in humans above 52 to 53 years old, especially those that are Korean.
Carlos
No, that doesn't say that.
Andrew Santino
It says that right there.
Carlos
No, it doesn't say Korean, man.
Andrew Santino
Wow. Cats with dementia. Dogs don't get it, though, right? Please tell me dogs don't get it.
Carlos
Do dog. They have to get it.
Andrew Santino
I don't know. Yeah, dogs can get it. Canine cognitive dysfunction.
Carlos
Yeah.
Andrew Santino
Come. Max doesn't know, isn't it? By the way, look at this. This is. This is what all your animals do. Signs of dementia, not responding when called to forgetting house training. Yeah, Your dog's pissing all.
Carlos
Yeah, yeah.
Andrew Santino
This is all.
Carlos
You're lucky on me.
Andrew Santino
Do they have any play? Do they have enthusiasm to play or. No, no. By the way, getting stuck in corners. The saddest. They have that thing. A dog stuck in a corner.
Carlos
Yeah. Yeah.
Andrew Santino
Oh, my Nobody puts puppy in a corner.
Carlos
Well, when cats are about to die, you know what they do? They disappear.
Andrew Santino
Yeah. Well, dude, that's like a nobility thing. They don't want. They don't want you to see them die.
Carlos
Yeah.
Andrew Santino
That's kind of rad.
Carlos
It is not.
Andrew Santino
Dogs are like, look at me. I'm dying. Look at me. By the way, I saw a cat fight on a walk the other night. Two cats in the neighborhood. There's one. My neighbor has an outdoor cat. You know, he just roams around and comes and goes as he pleases.
Carlos
Yeah.
Andrew Santino
And I was walking, and he was on the street over, and I was like, oh, what are you doing over here? And he, like, looked at me, and then he slowly turned and. And I saw there was another cat underneath the car tire.
Carlos
Yeah.
Andrew Santino
I was like, oh, is this his enemy, dude?
Carlos
Yeah.
Andrew Santino
And he was slowly creeping up to him, and I love it. And I'm encouraging. I was like, get him. Cat fights are so fun to watch, dude. They beat the out of each other.
Carlos
Yeah.
Andrew Santino
Because the paw can go up. When the paw goes up and they start smacking each other in the head. What is that, dude?
Carlos
Coyote killing a cat. Oh, my God.
Andrew Santino
Carlos. God damn it, Carlos.
Carlos
They're be. They're in my backyard. I can hear them. You need to be careful. I know. I have a fence, but still.
Andrew Santino
Yeah, you do. I gotta be.
Carlos
I hear them, you know?
Andrew Santino
Got a coyote.
Carlos
Yeah. They talk, dude.
Andrew Santino
That's how they talk.
Carlos
They talk that. What, Asian? They're not Asian. Coyote. You. What's going on today, man?
Andrew Santino
What is going.
Carlos
It was everything Asian today.
Andrew Santino
Yeah. Let's cut this out.
Carlos
Yeah. Yeah.
Andrew Santino
I'm sick of this. Sick of this, sick of this.
Carlos
Yeah. But the thing is, is that. Will you cry when your dog dies?
Andrew Santino
Why are we doing this?
Carlos
Who would you though?
Andrew Santino
It'll be the saddest day of my life.
Carlos
That's what you get. I get more.
Andrew Santino
I know, but if I get more than. Then more of them die.
Carlos
I know, but the less you feel.
Andrew Santino
No, I don't think so. I think.
Carlos
I think so.
Andrew Santino
You probably feel even more.
Carlos
I think so, too.
Andrew Santino
Like, we had. We have in our family, extended family member. They had. They did it smart. They had. The dogs have puppies. So when the older ones died, then the next one that had puppies, so they had. They still had the same, like, generation. They had, like, four generations of the same family.
Carlos
Oh, my God.
Andrew Santino
I thought that was rad.
Carlos
That's rad.
Andrew Santino
I was like, we should have done that, but we Snipped her too early.
Carlos
I have a dog that's 17. Blind, crooked spine. Remy is 17. Yeah. Blind crooked spine. You know what I mean? Good morning, Remy.
Andrew Santino
Like, crooked spine?
Carlos
Yeah, crooked spine. About to die at any second.
Andrew Santino
I want to ask you a real question. Do you take your dogs? And I know the answer. Have you ever taken your dogs to the dentist? No, dude, never.
Carlos
Can I go first?
Andrew Santino
Yeah, you gotta go.
Carlos
Yeah. Why?
Andrew Santino
Because it can. You can cause brain damage from not having your teeth, bro.
Carlos
I have so many techniques at home. You have no idea.
Andrew Santino
To cleaning your teeth?
Carlos
Yeah, I don't want to reveal certain things, but reveal. Okay.
Andrew Santino
Do you water pick?
Carlos
What?
Andrew Santino
Do you water pick?
Carlos
So I'll tell you what happened. I don't. I have a toothbrush that shoots water into my mouth.
Andrew Santino
That's a water pick.
Carlos
I have one.
Andrew Santino
Okay.
Carlos
Yeah, yeah. So I bought on TikTok, you know, I mean, one of those mouthpieces.
Andrew Santino
I was going to buy that.
Carlos
It doesn't work.
Andrew Santino
Of course not.
Carlos
Yeah, yeah. So I bought one. But what you have to do is you have to heat it in water.
Andrew Santino
No, no, really, I'm not doing that.
Carlos
All right.
Andrew Santino
Before I brush my teeth.
Carlos
No, to have it formed to your teeth, this mouthpiece, you boil it and then you chomp down on it. So it's like a mouth, like a mouth guard. Right. But what happened, it pushed this tooth into my gums, right? And then I had a fucking boil above on the gum that was like gigantic.
Andrew Santino
Like a canker sore.
Carlos
It was bigger than that. Like I couldn't chew on this side. Right. This happened for months.
Andrew Santino
Months.
Carlos
Yeah. Yeah. And I thought. I literally thought I had mouth cancer. Like I'm dying, but I'm not gonna. I'm not gonna go to the dentist because I already know I'm gonna die. You know what I mean?
Andrew Santino
You're not gonna die.
Carlos
So what happened was I went. Got a bunch of. Two gigantic bottles of hydrogen peroxide.
Andrew Santino
Oh, that works. I use that a lot.
Carlos
And it's no longer there, baby.
Andrew Santino
Yeah, hp.
Carlos
So I have my own systems at home.
Andrew Santino
You do?
Carlos
Yeah, yeah.
Andrew Santino
Simply save.
Carlos
Oh, I'm scared.
Andrew Santino
I'm scared too.
Carlos
What do we do?
Andrew Santino
I don't know. But what is safe at home mean to you? For a long time, we thought it was enough to have good locks, maybe alarm, you know, make some noise if someone broke in. But after people we know, we're broken into, we've realized security takes a little bit more system that works to prevent break ins and violation of your space. From that Happening again in the first place. That's why we trust Simply Safe to protect our home and family.
Carlos
You got one right.
Andrew Santino
I do?
Carlos
Yeah. How does it feel at night?
Andrew Santino
It's phenomenal. I feel very safe. And by the way, Simplisafe does the extra work that other security systems just don't do. These are AI powered cameras and live monitoring agents that detect suspicious activity around your property.
Carlos
If someone's lurking, agents, talk to them in real time, turn on spotlights and can call the police. Proactively deterring crime before it even starts.
Andrew Santino
Put your hands up, but don't think about breaking in that door. No contracts, no hidden fees. Named best home security system of 2025 by CNET. That's a big deal. By the way, I do love going to Zenet articles seeing who they rank. Four million plus Americans trust Simply Safe, including myself. They're ranked number one in customer service by Newsweek and USA Today. These monitoring plans start around $1 a day and you got a 60 day money back guarantee. How do they get it?
Carlos
Visit simply safe.combadfinders to claim 50% off a new system with a professional monitoring plan and getting your first month free.
Andrew Santino
That's simply safe.com bad friends simplisafe.com bad friends There is no safe like Simply Safe.
Carlos
If you run an e commerce business. You know packages don't arrive by magic, but sure feel like it if you use ShipStation.
Andrew Santino
And that's right because last year alone over 700 million orders were fulfilled with Shipstation. That's a lot. I think some of our merch was on there. We use Shipstation, thankful for them because that's how we get our stuff to you.
Carlos
And with Shipstation you can sync orders from everywhere you sell into one dashboard and replace manual tasks with custom automations to reduce shipping errors at all at a fraction of the cost.
Andrew Santino
It's the fastest, most affordable way to ship products to your customers no matter what you're selling or what you're doing. They got discounts up to 88% off UPS, DHL Express and USPS rates and up to 90% off FedEx rates. That's saving you so much money if you're selling something out of your garage or your house or whatever, your small business, your little studio. Shipstation has got you covered.
Carlos
Over 130,000 companies have grown their e commerce business with ShipStation. And 98% of companies that stick with Shipstation for a year become customers for life.
Andrew Santino
Whoa, I just saw this. During this time of this spot, another 1400 packages were shipped with the help of Shipstation. Wow. Upgrade to a smoother shipping experience. Go to shipstation.combadfriends to sign up for your free trial.
Carlos
No credit card or contract required and you can Cancel Anytime.
Andrew Santino
That's shipstation.com Bad Friends Quint.
Carlos
Oh my God. During the summer heat, I wear quints.
Andrew Santino
You got to wear quince because by the way, it's getting too hot to wear uncomfortable thick, non breathable fabric.
Carlos
I want breathable things.
Andrew Santino
You got it. With Quint. They had the kind of stuff you actually wear on repeat, like breathable flow knit polos, crisp cotton shirts and comfortable lightweight pants that somehow work for both the weekend hangs and dressed up dinners.
Carlos
By working directly with top artisans and cutting out the middleman, Quint gives you luxury pieces without the markups.
Andrew Santino
We're all looking for this kind of gear, by the way. You want, you want stuff that you look good out and you want to look good. You can wear it at home, you can wear it to dinner, you can wear with your friends. And Quince only works with factories that use safe, ethical and responsible manufacturing practices and premium fabrics and finishes. So you're not getting some poor quality cheap stuff that you're going to throw away fast. It lasts.
Carlos
Sick to the staples. That lasts with elevated essentials from Quince.
Andrew Santino
Go to quince.com/bad friends for free shipping on your order and 365 day returns that all year long.
Carlos
That's Quince Q U I n c e.com/bad friends to get free shipping and a 365 day returns.
Andrew Santino
That's quince.com/bad friends. By the way, I saw this thing today. They got all this new research now about how botox that women that get Botox.
Carlos
Yeah.
Andrew Santino
They're finding studies. It's seeping into their brain.
Carlos
What is Botox? No.
Andrew Santino
So now it's going to start killing people. It's Botox. Botulism toxin potentially spread to the brain. It's rare, but it's starting. They're. They're starting to do more and more research on it.
Carlos
Wow.
Andrew Santino
And it's crazy. This doctor was like, stop getting this.
Carlos
What does it do when it gets to the brain?
Andrew Santino
So, so Botox is a thing called botulism. It's actually, it's actually a bacteria. Right it, right it, it kills the muscles in your face. That's why people with Botox look stiff as a board. It's dangerous because it can seep into your blood and into your brain. It causes brain damage. Brain's ability to interpret Emotions altering unconscious m. Mimicry of facial expressions. Neurobiology and learning and memory. Research suggests Botox have cognitive and emotional. This says, kind of emotional alleviating depression. Oh, sure. Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Carlos
Wow.
Andrew Santino
Yeah, sure. Yeah. Because you feel better, because you look better, but it's in your brain.
Carlos
What if it goes in your brain and your brain looks younger?
Andrew Santino
Yeah, it's smart.
Carlos
Yeah.
Andrew Santino
Takes away some of the wrinkles.
Carlos
Yeah, yeah.
Andrew Santino
That's actually a really good idea. I mean, you're stabbing your face with botulism.
Carlos
Yeah.
Andrew Santino
I mean, think how crazy that. And that's this. Everybody does this.
Carlos
Wow.
Andrew Santino
You and I should get Botox.
Carlos
Where do you. I've thought about it.
Andrew Santino
I've never thought about it.
Carlos
What do you want it done?
Andrew Santino
I don't.
Carlos
Okay. Well then why'd you even say that then?
Andrew Santino
It's for the show.
Carlos
All right. But now I feel like a piece of. For saying no, no. But I get it done.
Andrew Santino
Where would you get it done?
Carlos
My whole face and my arm.
Andrew Santino
You don't have any wrinkles, bud. You're wrinkleless.
Carlos
Well, then why would you. Oh, like that.
Andrew Santino
There you go.
Carlos
Yeah, yeah.
Andrew Santino
My 57 year old sister got a full facelift. Look at her look. She looks great. Yeah, she looks fancy.
Carlos
She looks like remy.
Andrew Santino
That's your 17 year old spine crooked dog.
Carlos
Yeah, yeah. You don't look good.
Andrew Santino
How do I look? Yeah, I look good. She looks like she's wearing a mask.
Carlos
Yeah.
Andrew Santino
Hannibal Lecter when he put the other face. Yes. This is what we're turning into now.
Carlos
Oh my God.
Andrew Santino
Just get old. Look old. I'm going to Washington D.C. tomorrow. Really, really excited. I get to walk in the streets by our President. I'm going to the White House, baby. I got. I got invited.
Carlos
Yeah, Great. Wow.
Andrew Santino
I got invited to the White House and I'm going to go over there and hang with my dog.
Carlos
Who's your dog? JD Van the ho Y. What? I wonder what he's like.
Andrew Santino
Jd?
Carlos
Yeah. Hanging out with.
Andrew Santino
I mean, fun.
Carlos
So much fun.
Andrew Santino
Fun? You think he's fun?
Carlos
His Indian wife's sexy.
Andrew Santino
He has an Indian wife?
Carlos
Yeah.
Andrew Santino
I know nothing about anything. I'm so stupid. You've never been to India. Would you ever go in?
Carlos
What? How much money do I get? I would. I mean, I would go with you for like a bit.
Andrew Santino
A gig?
Carlos
Yeah. No, like a video.
Andrew Santino
How to film it.
Carlos
Yeah.
Andrew Santino
But do you know what? You know what? And they're vegetarian a lot. Most people are vegetarian. Yeah, yeah, they are.
Carlos
They really are.
Andrew Santino
No, seriously.
Carlos
Well, the Cow's not good.
Andrew Santino
Sacred dog.
Carlos
You can't do it.
Andrew Santino
Can't eat the cow.
Carlos
Yeah.
Andrew Santino
No.
Carlos
In fact, the. The McDonald's there doesn't have like. Like burgers.
Andrew Santino
No. Look at that.
Carlos
Only have chicken.
Andrew Santino
Okay. 39. So just under half.
Carlos
That's a lot.
Andrew Santino
That means approximately 39. Over 100 Indians don't consume meat. That's a lot of.
Carlos
That's a lot of.
Andrew Santino
How many vegetarians in the United States? Six percent.
Carlos
Nobody. Wow. Wow.
Andrew Santino
Would you ever switch?
Carlos
I think I've been thinking about it.
Andrew Santino
I've tried so many times. I can't do it. Every time I do it, I get really depressed. I can't function.
Carlos
Really. When you go to a restaurant like Crossroads. Have you been there on Melrose?
Andrew Santino
Oh, yeah. I got. Neil took me there.
Carlos
Yeah. Yeah, it's. I've been there.
Andrew Santino
Phenomenal.
Carlos
It's phenomenal.
Andrew Santino
Yeah.
Carlos
So I could do that every meeting.
Andrew Santino
Yeah. But then you got to eat high end. So this is the difference. This is a problem. Are you eating a five star vegetarian restaurant every day? No. A lot of times you're gonna have to eat at home.
Carlos
That's right. Yeah.
Andrew Santino
What am I. You know?
Carlos
I don't even know what to do. Let's. Let me see. I can get bread.
Andrew Santino
Got you. Check.
Carlos
Yeah. Avocados.
Andrew Santino
Check. Check this out.
Carlos
Bok choy. I don't know.
Andrew Santino
Check this out. Look at this. Check this out.
Carlos
What?
Andrew Santino
Anything but meat.
Carlos
Okay. But I had to rattle through all of them.
Andrew Santino
I know. He's like his apples, meat.
Carlos
Yeah. Our parrot can even have eggs. Right.
Andrew Santino
That's if you're vegan.
Carlos
Oh, but you could have eggs. That's a good thing.
Andrew Santino
Yeah. Most vegetarians eat eggs a lot.
Carlos
Yeah.
Andrew Santino
Fish, that's pescatarian.
Carlos
Okay, but let's be pescatarians then.
Andrew Santino
I mean, I be honest with you. I eat a lot of sushi and fish and then. So I do do that. I could do that.
Carlos
But do they have feeling fish? Yeah. Like when you stab them. You know what I mean? Do they go, ow?
Andrew Santino
Okay, how about this? I feel bad if they look cute, right?
Carlos
Like a clownfish you would never eat. There's no way. No. Saw those whole.
Andrew Santino
Right.
Carlos
Just right from the lake.
Andrew Santino
Yeah. They're like. If you. I can't. I can't eat Nemo.
Carlos
Yeah. No way. Would you eat that?
Andrew Santino
No, I can't. Too cute. Yeah, that's cute in a weird, ugly way.
Carlos
Yeah. But it's also.
Andrew Santino
But look up tuna. Look up tuna fish. Look at how fucking unattractive these Things are.
Carlos
Yeah.
Andrew Santino
Look at that big dumb idiot. I'm eating that moron. Yeah, that's a cow with a sea.
Carlos
Those are, like white walkers of the sea, dude. They look dead.
Andrew Santino
I mean, they look. They Lou. Look dead. They look dead in the eyes.
Carlos
Yeah, they look dead in the eyes. Yeah, like sharks.
Andrew Santino
Yeah, we're eating the blubber fish. I mean that all day.
Carlos
Going back to that dude. Get the fuck out of there. Typed in ugliest fish. Yeah. Yeah.
Andrew Santino
All right, well, let's do this. You want to feel good? Do you want to feel good? We got a bunch of submissions for Carlos replacement, because, you know, you wanted him fired, like, 10 times.
Carlos
Yeah, the Trump thing. We know Andrew's going, but. Okay.
Andrew Santino
What do you mean? I'm going. I didn't trick him into an invite. I'm actually going because Trump invited me. I mean, J.D. invited me. My dog.
Carlos
I know. I think it's more like jealousy of things like that that it's getting me fired.
Andrew Santino
I don't think so. I think you're getting fired because of your behavior. Yeah. I'm sorry, Bob. All right, let me see these submission videos. Let's see what we got coming up. Is this really to replace Carlos for real? Do you think we have any prospects that are legit?
Carlos
We got some good ones.
Andrew Santino
Wow. I like that. Oh, this guy. I'm already in.
Carlos
He's already in. Start auditioning for Carlos's job. Hold up. I don't have any. Push pause. What's going on in the background?
Andrew Santino
Oh, there's a dead girl in the background.
Carlos
Dead girl in the background.
Andrew Santino
Wow.
Carlos
Wow.
Andrew Santino
Well, at least he's also a hoarder, right?
Carlos
He's super messy. This is. He's perfect.
Andrew Santino
This is Carlos.
Carlos
Yeah, yeah, go ahead.
Andrew Santino
It's.
Carlos
I do know what doses and the BIOS means, so I think I'm pretty qualified for whatever the he does. I am a single dad, unemployed right now.
Andrew Santino
Oh.
Carlos
Children of three.
Andrew Santino
Oh, mother just passed away, so. Damn.
Carlos
I think you should give me a chance. I think I might. I might help you guys out a little bit. You know what I mean? I'm not gonna go to Japan and bring you back change out of my pocket. I think I'd bring you back. Okay. Definitely some porno push pas.
Andrew Santino
Hold on one second.
Carlos
He's a raccoon.
Andrew Santino
He's had me and lost me about six times.
Carlos
I know.
Andrew Santino
He. He had me. He's funny. And then he lost me. And then he was like. Then he was cool again. He was like, hey, I'm a Single father. I was like, I'm in. And he's like, and the mother passed away. I'm like, I'm in. This is. And then he's like, but I'm. You know, I'm gonna. I'm not gonna bring you back stuff that you want from Japan.
Carlos
I'm out.
Andrew Santino
Yeah, I'm out. Next.
Carlos
Next submission.
Andrew Santino
Let's. What's his name?
Carlos
He just wrote.
Andrew Santino
His name was Sharkey. I gotta say, I like this guy, especially if he would be in the booth with his shirt off.
Carlos
Yeah, Sharky's a high contender.
Andrew Santino
He's up there.
Carlos
Yeah.
Andrew Santino
Yeah, he's up there for sure.
Carlos
You can move on.
Andrew Santino
Sharkey's the man. Sharkey you're. You're gunning for.
Carlos
I'm gonna write this down.
Andrew Santino
Yeah, can you write it down, please?
Carlos
Yeah. So I'm gonna put Sharky, what are.
Andrew Santino
You ranking on a scale of 8 out of 10 chances that he'll take over the job?
Carlos
Yeah. Hold on.
Andrew Santino
What are you gonna give him? A seven and a half.
Carlos
So, Sharky, hold on.
Andrew Santino
How do we get one fly in here?
Carlos
I don't know. I hate it. Why is he omni on your wrist? What would you.
Andrew Santino
Sharky. Seven and a half out of ten to me.
Carlos
Okay, let's do halves. Let's do seven.
Andrew Santino
All right. Seven out of ten.
Carlos
Okay. All right, go ahead.
Andrew Santino
Who's this?
Carlos
We got Matthew Roman.
Andrew Santino
Full name. Oh, look at this.
Carlos
Hey, Carlos. Just finished the latest episode of Bad Friends. Saw your job was up for grab.
Andrew Santino
So I want to make sure I.
Carlos
Got my application early. That's for my qualifications. I'm not sure what a producer of a podcast does, but I am standing in a window. I'm pretty good. Laughing at other people's jokes. I can't laugh on command, sadly. Hopefully in the future, maybe I can. I can show you more of my laugh and how good it is. Push pause. We have to do it. DEI with the dei.
Andrew Santino
Is that his nickname?
Carlos
I mean, he is mixed.
Andrew Santino
Yeah. Mix.
Carlos
Yeah, he's cute.
Andrew Santino
Well, I like that. We don't know what kind of mix he is. That's my favorite.
Carlos
But his lip proportions are perfect.
Andrew Santino
Okay, Yeah, I agree. For kissing. No, we must kiss our producers.
Carlos
Okay. That's right.
Andrew Santino
That's a part of the job.
Carlos
Yeah. His lips are good. All right, I'm gonna give him a nine.
Andrew Santino
Roman's gonna get an eight.
Carlos
Okay, an eight.
Andrew Santino
That's insane to go nine.
Carlos
Okay, go ahead. Next one. This is Mackenzie McNulty. Hold on. McKenzie.
Andrew Santino
Yeah, maybe we do need a girl. In here.
Carlos
Hey, guys.
Andrew Santino
Mackenzie here.
Carlos
I am from right outside of Philadelphia.
Andrew Santino
So I'm a Philly girl. Oh, yeah. Which I think is what you guys need.
Carlos
I think you guys need a little bit more feminine energy up in that joint. Jules ain't always there. There's too many men. That's the problem.
Bobby Lee
There's too many men in there, and.
Carlos
You have nothing to break up the monotony.
Andrew Santino
I get it. All right, second off, Carlos, leave the. Leave Bobby the alone. Wow.
Carlos
Dude, she's a 10.
Andrew Santino
What I think needs to happen here is I think some of you guys just need to be smacked up a little bit. Oh, wow.
Carlos
Oh, here we go. She's aggressive. From Philadelphia. I'm half hard. Is that weird?
Andrew Santino
Oh, yeah.
Carlos
Okay. Why can't I say that?
Bobby Lee
Handle some for you?
Andrew Santino
I will handle it with a smile on my face. Okay. But in all reality, you know, thank you guys for everything that you do. You definitely get my work week going.
Carlos
Okay, push pause.
Andrew Santino
So that's a nine.
Carlos
That's a nine.
Andrew Santino
That's the difference. She's a nine. And let me say. It's Mackenzie. Yeah, Mackenzie.
Carlos
Yeah.
Andrew Santino
Multiple levels of great. She said leave. Leave you alone. She'd call out Carlos for his.
Carlos
Right, right.
Andrew Santino
Then she said she'll smack up some people if we need it. She does look tough.
Carlos
Yeah.
Andrew Santino
Okay.
Carlos
Yeah.
Andrew Santino
And then on top of it, she's recording this while she's driving, presumably with kids in the car or something.
Carlos
So good.
Andrew Santino
So it's taking on danger. I like all this. And it's in the rain, no less.
Carlos
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Andrew Santino
So she's. This is very dangerous.
Carlos
Okay. I'm influenced by you.
Andrew Santino
So nine.
Carlos
Net nine. I put it nine.
Andrew Santino
She's up there.
Carlos
Hey, bad friends. Hey, Andrew. Hey, Bobby. Where? He's out.
Andrew Santino
You don't like it? He said hi.
Carlos
I don't like the hi.
Andrew Santino
Yeah.
Carlos
Hey.
Andrew Santino
You don't like. He said hi.
Carlos
Andrew first that already every day we do a podcast.
Andrew Santino
Hey, Bobby, give him a chance.
Carlos
Okay, Go ahead.
Andrew Santino
This is my application to replace Carlos on the show.
Carlos
I feel like I meet the only two requirements that are needed to be in the role, which are being good at googling things, or, I guess, being okay at googling things and being Mexican. I also don't do drugs, so I have that as an added bonus. You know, if I were to pee in a cup for you guys.
Andrew Santino
You'D.
Carlos
Probably be able to drink it, unlike with Carlos. You know, you'd probably, like, die and, like, six days. I'm also a big fan of soccer So I have that in common with Bobby. Although I'm not going to say what team I support just because I think he wouldn't approve.
Andrew Santino
He's out.
Carlos
He's out.
Andrew Santino
He's a man. You guy. But here's, here's, here's like him.
Carlos
Here's the thing. He's a seven, but he's Mexican. What's his name? Jordy. Here's the thing about him that would have made that he. If he zoomed out and he was naked from the bottom down.
Andrew Santino
So funny.
Carlos
Would have been so funny.
Andrew Santino
I would have loved it. Let's see. Maybe just in case.
Carlos
No, no, no. 7. This is Ethan Vo. What's up, Andres? My name is Ethan. I live in Orange county, close California, and I'm auditioning for Carlos's job. I'm sober. I don't do anything. I can stand there and not say anything.
Andrew Santino
I like him.
Carlos
I'm fans of Bobby and Andrew. I'm seeing Bobby in Brea coming up in June. I cancel. Cancel that. Yeah, I'm excited to cancel that game. Carlos. I can drive up to LA and that's pretty much it.
Andrew Santino
I love this guy. He's. I love him precise. And let me say why. He's quick to it.
Carlos
Yeah, he's.
Andrew Santino
He's good looking.
Carlos
Yeah.
Andrew Santino
And also go back to about two seconds. One of my favorite things, he strokes a beard that isn't there. Watch this, watch this.
Carlos
Oh, yeah, yeah. Ethan. I live in Orange County, California and I'm auditioning for Carlos's job.
Andrew Santino
Ready?
Carlos
Yeah, I can.
Andrew Santino
Guy strokes a beer that isn't there. Unbelievable. He's stroking a beer that isn't there. I love this guy.
Carlos
He's lost his mind.
Andrew Santino
He's a nine. Dude.
Carlos
Bro.
Andrew Santino
I love this.
Carlos
Yeah, yeah, yeah. He's a bro.
Andrew Santino
Strokes beard. Not there. That's amazing. Let me watch it again real fast just for fun. I mean, that's incredible. He did that.
Carlos
Yeah.
Andrew Santino
It's not even there.
Carlos
Yeah.
Andrew Santino
Look at this.
Carlos
Yeah, it's incredible.
Andrew Santino
I like them so much.
Carlos
Yeah.
Andrew Santino
Nine.
Carlos
Yeah.
Andrew Santino
By the way, he lives here.
Carlos
Yeah, we might.
Andrew Santino
And he's good looking.
Carlos
Yeah. So what, you're gonna give him a nine?
Andrew Santino
Absolutely.
Carlos
Yeah. He's great. He's also not annoying.
Andrew Santino
Not annoying at all.
Carlos
Yeah. He's just gonna be there a part of the wall.
Andrew Santino
That's right.
Carlos
Yeah. Yeah. We'll have to say that. You can't do stroke things that aren't there though. I don't like that.
Andrew Santino
Well, the assumption you're giving him is that he's Gonna. He's got to earn camera time. So he's gonna be in the back. Back, Right.
Carlos
He's a mime.
Andrew Santino
Oh, he's a mine.
Carlos
Yeah, yeah, yeah.
Andrew Santino
He's like.
Carlos
He's gonna be back there. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I don't know, dude.
Andrew Santino
We'll see.
Carlos
Yeah.
Andrew Santino
Okay, who's next?
Carlos
This is Ernesto Gonzalez.
Andrew Santino
I already like him.
Carlos
Hey, Bobby. What's up, Andrew? Heard you guys are looking to replace some of the booth boys. You know, hopefully I could do that for you guys. Or, you know, my therapist has been saying I got some. Some anger issues. What was that?
Andrew Santino
Well, first of all, take whatever's out of the microwave, take it out.
Carlos
I know.
Andrew Santino
It's done.
Carlos
It's done.
Andrew Santino
It's done.
Carlos
Yeah, yeah.
Andrew Santino
But I love this guy. He's got anger issues, which I like.
Carlos
Yeah.
Andrew Santino
Because he looks big. He could be ar muscle.
Carlos
Yeah.
Andrew Santino
Unless. Because the.
Carlos
He could also be 5:1.
Andrew Santino
I know the up angle.
Carlos
Yeah, up angle. Yeah.
Andrew Santino
Yeah, you're right.
Carlos
So I'm observing that.
Andrew Santino
Let's see.
Carlos
I think. Although that's one last observation. I think his eyebrows are way too spread apart for me.
Andrew Santino
You like them closer?
Carlos
I want them way closer. Yeah. What do you think?
Andrew Santino
That's an aesthetic thing. You like?
Carlos
Okay. Okay.
Andrew Santino
You like what you like?
Carlos
I like what I like, dude. Yeah. Anger issues I need to find an outlet for. So maybe I could just be Bobby's henchman, maybe security guard. You know, I could really kill two chickens with one rock here, if you guys let me pause it.
Andrew Santino
And so it is two birds of one stone. Not in Mexico, but in Mexico. It could be different. Two chickens with one rock.
Carlos
Right, right. It could be different.
Andrew Santino
I understand. Well, look, chickens are birds, so. He did say the same thing.
Carlos
Yeah.
Andrew Santino
Okay. Keep going. I like it.
Carlos
Well, the booth boys, whenever they start acting out and help Bobby out at the same time, you know, My Name's Ernesto. I'm 23 years old. I am. I'm 6 4, £300. So I'm a pretty big guy. I feel like I could handle those guys, no issue. Yeah.
Andrew Santino
Yeah, you could.
Carlos
You know, and I. I never even. I'm 23. Never been pulled over before. Yeah. So I could really be, like, Bobby's, like, personal driver, even. Yeah. Turn the bike. Yeah, you're right, buddy.
Andrew Santino
Take it out.
Carlos
Take it out, dude. Yeah, yeah. Push pause for a second. All right.
Andrew Santino
Also, yeah, I've never been pulled over before. I don't know that has anything to do with it.
Carlos
Has nothing to do with it. Also, what I don't so it's a little weird is I don't even think he's from our fucking time.
Andrew Santino
No. Oh, he's from the future of the past.
Carlos
You know why? Henchman.
Andrew Santino
Oh, he's a henchman, right?
Carlos
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Say bodyguard. Yeah, I mean henchman is like where would you come from guy?
Andrew Santino
He's another time period. He's posing as a current day guy.
Carlos
Yeah, smart.
Andrew Santino
But he's doing it right. Yeah, they built him in a good frame. Six, four, 300.
Carlos
What do you want to give him? I say nine.
Andrew Santino
I say eight or nine.
Carlos
Yeah, I'm going to give him nine because of my. He's going to bodyguard me.
Andrew Santino
I like that.
Carlos
Yeah, go ahead. A.J.
Andrew Santino
Nicholas. The name.
Carlos
Yo, what's up bad friends? My name is Anthony Nichols and I reached out to Carlos the other day to see if you guys would be interested in a birth chart reading for me for your. Your astrology birth charts for Bobby and Andrew and actually I would do everyone on the podcast if you guys were interested. Push pause. My only question is, where were you? January 6th is the first question I would ask.
Andrew Santino
Show us that chart.
Carlos
Yeah, yeah.
Andrew Santino
I. I like. I like the guy. Let's hear a little bit more. How much more left? Let's hear. I like.
Carlos
Astrology is essentially just at the moment of your birth, wherever the planets were in the zodiac at that moment you took your first breath. That is supposed to have something to say about your life. And I study ancient Hellenistic astrology, which is like the original form of astrology.
Andrew Santino
Pause. Okay, look, he's not going to be in the booth because I don't want want him to know where we do the podcast. But I do want to call him because he is worth a call because he will give us some astrological insight.
Carlos
Yeah, I don't think we could work with because he's everyday. Do you want a reading?
Andrew Santino
He'd read a lot.
Carlos
You know what I mean?
Andrew Santino
Yeah.
Carlos
I've got these crystals for you, buddy.
Andrew Santino
Read me last week.
Carlos
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Andrew Santino
No, it's something else changed. Well, yeah, I do like him. And we do want a reading from you, aj. We like you.
Carlos
Let's give him a six.
Andrew Santino
Six it up.
Carlos
Okay.
Andrew Santino
But that has nothing to do with how much we like or dislike.
Carlos
Yeah, yeah. It's just that you're our reader.
Andrew Santino
We like you.
Carlos
Yeah, go ahead.
Andrew Santino
Sam.
Carlos
Sam Weckman. So what's good, guys? Oh, AirPods just died. I'm at work right now. I just watched one episode.
Andrew Santino
Pause. I'm at work right now. No can you, buddy? He's like, hey, guys, just woke up from a nap. Yeah, I have to wear this. Otherwise, I pan.
Carlos
You're not paragliding or. Yeah. What do you.
Andrew Santino
I love this guy. Sam, come on. Where Carlos is being an. True to Bobby. True.
Carlos
I've been watching the podcast a little bit, and I just turned 18 on May 8, and I moved out on my birthday because my parents were hella strict. I'm out of there now.
Andrew Santino
Yeah.
Carlos
And I lowkey need a job or else I'm joining the Air Force, and I don't want to do that.
Andrew Santino
Okay, pause. He needs a job. He's at a job. He's auditioning for a job while he's at a job.
Carlos
I don't know how much he gets paid there, though, Guy.
Andrew Santino
He needs another job. But I do say.
Carlos
I want to say, because what if he goes to the Air Force and he dies in a war?
Andrew Santino
What war?
Carlos
We don't know where's what war is coming up.
Andrew Santino
I do. You didn't get that email.
Carlos
Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. Are you not logged in like a young Mike Young.
Andrew Santino
Once I signed up for Kamala Harris's donation emails. She tells me what wars are coming.
Carlos
Yeah. Yeah.
Andrew Santino
We did it, Joe. We have another war.
Carlos
So much. Don't you get so much from them?
Andrew Santino
The amount of spam I have. Not from them. From fucking Cory Booker. Politicians. My phone, my email, every politician, Republican, Democrat.
Carlos
Oh, I'm all different Democrat.
Andrew Santino
You are.
Carlos
Yeah.
Andrew Santino
Loser.
Carlos
I know.
Andrew Santino
I get everybody. It's honestly, it's shocking how many I get. I got two phone calls the other day.
Carlos
What are we gonna give Sam?
Andrew Santino
It's tough. I don't think he can be in the booth. But I do think, why?
Carlos
He's a runner.
Andrew Santino
He could be an assistant. Yeah, he could help us out. 18 is quite young to be in the booth because you got to have a lot of technical skills.
Carlos
Also, McConnell will be threatened.
Andrew Santino
Yeah, that's how sad. You know what then? He's an eight.
Carlos
Yeah, yeah, yeah. I think he's an eight.
Andrew Santino
Yeah. Good call.
Carlos
Yeah, yeah.
Andrew Santino
McCone.
Carlos
McConnell. Yeah. You'd be threatened by that guy. Dude, he's better than you, but he.
Andrew Santino
Doesn'T have as good a hair as McCone, that's for sure. I mean, I don't even know what's underneath that hat, but it ain't that.
Carlos
Okay. Tell you, that's one.
Andrew Santino
It ain't that. Cody.
Carlos
Cody. James Christian. Hello, my name is Cody Christian. I'm from Knoxville, Tennessee. Knoxville work at Oak Ridge National Laboratory in Oak Ridge, Tennessee. But, yeah, I just wanted to submit a video. Yeah. Carlos has to go. You guys gotta replace him.
Andrew Santino
True.
Carlos
And I'll put. I'll role play. Like, I have a 10 for me.
Andrew Santino
Hold on one second.
Carlos
Bobby's going off on a rant. He's a 10.
Andrew Santino
Pause. Things that we like already. Nondescript apartment, a lot of closets. He hates artwork, except for this MC Escher tattoo he has on his right arm.
Carlos
Yeah.
Andrew Santino
Which I imagine is. That's what that is.
Carlos
He's also willing, just based on what he looks like, to do anything.
Andrew Santino
Yeah, the puka shells give that away.
Carlos
Yeah, yeah.
Andrew Santino
You don't put those on your neck unless you're willing to do anything. Under the sun.
Carlos
Can do anything for you.
Andrew Santino
And the gauges. Guy who gauges. I'm gauging him by his gauges, and I like him a lot.
Carlos
Like, hey, get me some meerkat feet.
Andrew Santino
He's like, what do you mean? Right back here. What do you think?
Carlos
Two hours meerkat free Here, man. Here, buddy.
Andrew Santino
Done.
Carlos
Well, name anything, anything.
Andrew Santino
He can get it for you.
Carlos
Yeah, name anything, anything. Yeah, yeah. Get me Lincoln's top hat.
Andrew Santino
He's like, I have it.
Carlos
Yeah, yeah. He already has it.
Andrew Santino
I'll ship it to you. Right?
Carlos
Yeah, get me, you know. Yeah.
Andrew Santino
Give me the gun. Give me the gun that we used. Used to assassinate Martin Luther King Jr. Got it.
Carlos
We don't even know where that is. He got it.
Andrew Santino
He has it.
Carlos
Yeah, yeah. A toenail clipping from Cleopatra.
Andrew Santino
Got it.
Carlos
Got it.
Andrew Santino
Absolutely.
Carlos
Yeah. It's a part of my necklace.
Andrew Santino
He goes, give me. Give me a bag filled with Gandhi's pubes.
Carlos
Yeah.
Andrew Santino
Got it.
Carlos
Who got it?
Andrew Santino
He did.
Carlos
He has it.
Andrew Santino
He's got it.
Carlos
But he has it in those closets there. Yeah, they're all stored in his closet. He has everything.
Andrew Santino
All right, so 10 for the nine. Nine.
Carlos
I'm going to give him a nine. Dude.
Andrew Santino
What's his name again?
Carlos
Cody.
Andrew Santino
His name is Cody James Christian in love.
Carlos
In love with Cody.
Andrew Santino
There's one big hiccup.
Carlos
What?
Andrew Santino
Knoxville's very far. It's the other side of the country.
Carlos
He'll move.
Andrew Santino
God bless.
Carlos
Yeah, yeah.
Andrew Santino
Do you want to watch any more?
Carlos
Move on to the next one.
Andrew Santino
I want to move on.
Carlos
Yeah, we're going to move all of them.
Andrew Santino
Yeah, yeah. I think there's very.
Carlos
There's got to be a 10 in there.
Andrew Santino
Arsenal.
Carlos
Arelli Esparza.
Andrew Santino
I was close. Oh, okay.
Bobby Lee
Friends, my name is Araceli. I am inquiring about replacing Carlos's job. I have zero experience in show business, but I have my bachelor's degree in sociology and I have my master's degree in social work. I have quite a bit of few years of professional experience outside of college. Also, please don't hire me. I love bad friends. I love Andrew.
Andrew Santino
I love Rudy. I love Bobby.
Bobby Lee
I love the whole crew. Please, Bobby, forgive Carlos. Love you guys.
Andrew Santino
Pause her. We are gonna hire her now.
Carlos
The fact that she was, like, psychological.
Andrew Santino
Yeah, that's it.
Carlos
That always works.
Andrew Santino
Good. She's good.
Carlos
That kind of always works for me. Don't go to the party. I'm gonna go.
Andrew Santino
Yes.
Carlos
Yeah, yeah.
Andrew Santino
Take her information and log her because we need to FaceTime her.
Carlos
Also, we need adora.
Andrew Santino
Yeah. We need a door.
Carlos
Yeah, we've. That's the element that's missing here. Adorable explorer.
Andrew Santino
Hola, bad friend.
Carlos
All right. Yeah.
Andrew Santino
Hello, bad friends audience.
Carlos
So what are you gonna give her?
Andrew Santino
Can you find the racism in this episode? Yeah, it's everywh. She's a nine.
Carlos
Okay.
Andrew Santino
And she doesn't want the job. That's why I need to give it to her.
Carlos
Yeah, yeah. What's the next one? Well, the last one is Aaron Lopez.
Andrew Santino
Aaron Lopez. Another good. Another Latino name. And by the way. Okay. Love him. Let's go. Let's see him. Bobby, look up.
Carlos
Hey, what's up, guys? My name is Aaron.
Andrew Santino
I'm 29.
Carlos
I'm from Chicago. I currently work as a real estate agent and for Progressive Insurance.
Andrew Santino
But I have a lot of sales experience.
Carlos
I used to work at Foot Locker and T Mobile for a lot of years. My party trick is shoving my fist in my mouth. Oh, wow. Wow.
Andrew Santino
People love it when I do that. Yeah.
Carlos
Creative ideas. I currently help my girlfriend with his Tik Tok page.
Andrew Santino
We've been doing it for a few.
Carlos
Months now, and we're almost at 50, 000 followers. We've actually gotten John Cena to post one of our videos. We get a lot of interactions and a lot of reposts from other wrestlers. It's mainly WWE content.
Andrew Santino
He took this very serious.
Carlos
It's too serious for me.
Andrew Santino
I like it.
Carlos
He's very resume. I work at Nike Corporate, but it.
Andrew Santino
Is funny to give a professional resume and then put your fist in your mouth. Yeah, I think that's what the juxtaposition is. Awesome.
Carlos
It's awesome.
Andrew Santino
I like that.
Carlos
Open phone. If you're running a business, you know that every time you miss a call, you're leaving money on the table.
Andrew Santino
When every customer conversation matters, you need a Phone system that keeps up and helps you stay connected 24, 7. That's why you need OpenPhone.
Carlos
OpenPhone is the number one business phone system that streamlines and scales your customer communications.
Andrew Santino
It works through an app on your phone or computer. So no more carrying two phones or using a landline.
Carlos
With OpenPhone your team can share one number and collaborate on customer calls and texts like a shared inbox.
Andrew Santino
That way any teammate can pick up right where the last person left off, keeping response times faster than ever. And you know response times for your customers. It matters. See why over 60,000 businesses trust open phone.
Carlos
Plus say goodbye to voicemail.
Andrew Santino
Bye bye bye.
Carlos
Their agent can be set up in minutes to handle calls after hours, answer questions and capture and capture leads so you never miss a customer.
Andrew Santino
So whether you're one person operation drowning in calls and texts or have a large team that needs better collaboration tools, Open Phone is a no brainer.
Carlos
Open Phone is offering our listeners 20% off your first six months at openphone.com bad friends that's O P E N.
Andrew Santino
P-H-O-N-E openphone.com bad friends and if you have existing numbers with another service Open Phone, we'll port them over at no extra charge. Open Phone no missed calls.
Carlos
No no miss customers. Oh my God, my arm still hurts from me falling on that roller.
Andrew Santino
You know why? You know why?
Carlos
Why?
Andrew Santino
Because you need to take care of it. You stop putting it off. ZocDoc is a free app and website where you can search and compare high quality in network dockers and click to instantly book an appointment and because you need to go get seen.
Carlos
And I love it because you can filter out for doctors who take your insurance or located nearby and are a good fit for any medical needs that you might have.
Andrew Santino
Like here's the problem people go hey Bobby, how are you going to be able to find a doctor with that that can do that near you? Well guess what?
Carlos
How do I do it?
Andrew Santino
Zoc Doc. You can book in network appointments with more than 100,000 doctors across every specialty. Mental health to dental health, primary care to urgent care and even arm care after falling down on the ground.
Carlos
And once you find the right doctor, you can see their actual appointment openings. Choose a time slot that works for you and click to instantly book a visit.
Andrew Santino
Helped me out when I moved and I'm thankful for Zocdoc for getting me a new doc. Near me takes my insurance. Stop putting off those doctor's appointments. Bobby lee. Go to Zocdoc.com bad friends to find and instantly book a top rated doctor today.
Carlos
That's Zocdoc Z O C-O C.com bad friends. Zocdoc.com bad friends. Can you do it?
Andrew Santino
No, and I won't try.
Carlos
Okay.
Andrew Santino
Because I don't want that screenshotted. Yeah, you will. No, there's no chance. I don't want to do it.
Carlos
Yeah. I can't do it. That's incredible.
Andrew Santino
That's a. It's an eight.
Carlos
It's an eight. Yeah.
Andrew Santino
So what, it's boiled down to me.
Carlos
We have three nines.
Andrew Santino
The nines are whom?
Carlos
Mackenzie.
Andrew Santino
Right. The Philly girl.
Carlos
Arceli and Cody.
Andrew Santino
Yeah. So here's my debate. I do think we need female energy in the booth because these three pigs have been up there doing their fucking bullshit for far too.
Carlos
I think we need another female submission.
Andrew Santino
I agree. We need. Okay, so how about this? We're logging these in. Please submit females only on the next round because we have to get one or two more females because then we can. Then we can call them all. We can get whittled down.
Carlos
I think you're right. We need female energy here.
Andrew Santino
We do, yeah.
Carlos
Yeah.
Andrew Santino
So Sharky with a shirt off was cool. He's single, Dad.
Carlos
I don't know the Cody.
Andrew Santino
For me it's a home run. What about the big guy? What about the 6, 4, 300 pound guy?
Carlos
Yeah, what was he? Ernesto.
Andrew Santino
Ernesto.
Carlos
Ernesto. Got a nine, too.
Andrew Santino
Yeah, so put him in there.
Carlos
Yeah, we got a lot of nines. We have Mackenzie.
Andrew Santino
So funny.
Carlos
You're like, we already know Cody and Arcelli.
Andrew Santino
All right. Yeah, we're locking that in. You guys remember that. And then we're going to. We're going to whittle it down. And the next time we're together, we have to FaceTime these candidates and see what we can do. Someone will have an opportunity to come up here by the fall end of the summer. The fall. Carlos, how does that make you feel to see your job kind of going up in smoke?
Carlos
Well, because of y', all, I'm actually, I'm pretty qualified for a lot of really good jobs. That would probably pay me more. Damn, I could probably get a job at any talent agency.
Andrew Santino
You're gonna make him throw a water.
Carlos
Bullshit.
Andrew Santino
Dude, let me tell you something.
Carlos
It's true.
Andrew Santino
When you want to go, you're more than welcome to go.
Carlos
Yeah. Don't even say goodbye.
Andrew Santino
And this is something. This is something that I'm going to share with Bobby. I'm going to share something with Bobby right now that I Probably shouldn't do.
Carlos
I know a lot of things, but a little.
Andrew Santino
A little piece of privacy that somebody bestowed upon me and I'm going to blow up their spot.
Carlos
Please.
Andrew Santino
The other day, Andres. The other day goes. I'm ready for the next phase of my life. I don't want to do the show too much longer. He said that. Speak your mind. Did I. Did he fucking say that or not?
Carlos
But it was like in a Spanish way.
Andrew Santino
Go ahead.
Carlos
More.
Andrew Santino
Bobby, listen up.
Carlos
Interesting.
Andrew Santino
Tell the truth.
Carlos
Be honest.
Andrew Santino
Stroke the beard. Stroke the beard. Interesting. I was saying in a philosophical way. Not enough. Not in a literal way. Exactly.
Carlos
But eventually you do want to leave.
Andrew Santino
Let's be honest as a family.
Carlos
Let's get it out on. I think that's the problem here, is that we're hiding what we really feel.
Andrew Santino
Is that what you're doing?
Carlos
What? Hiding how you really feel? We're so honest here. Wow.
Andrew Santino
He's taking so many shots at you today.
Carlos
I'm with Andrew for life.
Andrew Santino
For life.
Carlos
As long as he makes you money.
Andrew Santino
Wow. You know, he's doing. You know what he's doing.
Carlos
He was out.
Andrew Santino
He's wants out.
Carlos
Yeah. Yeah. No, that is so like you doing some mind trick on me to quit or something.
Andrew Santino
Well, let me tell you something.
Carlos
Yeah.
Andrew Santino
I have a buddy that. It's the drugs. It is a drug.
Carlos
Yeah, yeah.
Andrew Santino
But I have a friend that I know that worked at Foot Locker and at Progressive.
Carlos
Yeah, yeah.
Andrew Santino
I got a buddy.
Carlos
Yeah.
Andrew Santino
So we can get.
Carlos
I didn't say I wanted to go.
Andrew Santino
You said. Before this whole thing started, you literally just said, I have enough qualifications now I can go do. Get another job.
Carlos
I have a friend that has a Cyclops eye. Right. I'm fired. I could get another job is what I'm saying.
Andrew Santino
Okay, well, that sounds like you don't care if you do get fired.
Carlos
I do care, and you know that.
Andrew Santino
Well, see.
Carlos
No, we don't.
Andrew Santino
We don't. He got.
Carlos
We actually don't. We don't know that. Do you know that?
Andrew Santino
I don't.
Carlos
Yeah, we don't. So convince me that.
Andrew Santino
Damn, dude.
Carlos
Damn.
Andrew Santino
I mean, he's. Honestly.
Carlos
I'm enraged.
Andrew Santino
Fucking good.
Carlos
I'm so enraged. Why go more toward him? No, no, no, no. You can't really do that. I don't know.
Andrew Santino
We got the submissions in there. Carlos obviously is threatened. He's getting defensive and a little mean, and that's fine. Here's the biggest trick of all.
Carlos
I don't know.
Andrew Santino
You know what my opinion is?
Carlos
What?
Andrew Santino
Oh, you want a real Fucking watch of my doozy.
Carlos
You want me give me a watch doozy.
Andrew Santino
Dude, all three of these schmucks are gone and we get three new people from that list.
Carlos
Oh, it's so fresh.
Andrew Santino
The fans would love it.
Carlos
That'd be great.
Andrew Santino
Fans.
Carlos
We should try for a bit. Yeah, yeah. Because youe're ungrateful Andreas.
Andrew Santino
Fact.
Carlos
You should never leave this.
Andrew Santino
Fact.
Carlos
Right?
Andrew Santino
Yeah.
Carlos
Because if you leave this, guess what? What happens?
Andrew Santino
What happens?
Carlos
No zombie movie.
Andrew Santino
No zombie. That's right.
Carlos
Know a lot of things. You lose access to us. Right. Because I'd be furious.
Andrew Santino
You'd be mad.
Carlos
Yeah.
Andrew Santino
What about McCone?
Carlos
He's your bitch.
Andrew Santino
He is.
Carlos
Yeah, yeah, yeah. I don't know what happened.
Andrew Santino
It's my little toy.
Carlos
And the reason why I turned on McCone all those years is because I saw him go towards you.
Andrew Santino
Right?
Carlos
So I can't. He cannot get all that love.
Andrew Santino
That's right.
Carlos
I do love the guy, you know, I mean, but it's like it's too much love.
Andrew Santino
Too much.
Carlos
Yeah. And you, Carlos. Oh, you just blew that fucking smoke in my face.
Andrew Santino
You're vaping on the show and you're blowing it at us.
Carlos
Yeah, yeah. It's so rude. I only smoke joints. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You know what it is? He got celebrity from this.
Andrew Santino
Yeah.
Carlos
We fucked it up.
Andrew Santino
Yeah, we fucked up. And I will say something. These guys are all irreplaceable. We love them so much. They're our brother.
Carlos
We should do it.
Andrew Santino
They're our brothers. We love them so much. But we do want to bring in somebody we're interested. I really want this to take place.
Carlos
Yeah. Good fan interaction for celebrities like you to interact with normal.
Andrew Santino
He's being facetious. It's so funny when he takes shots.
Carlos
I know.
Andrew Santino
Well, let's bring in some of the students then. How about that?
Carlos
Yeah.
Andrew Santino
Because maybe someone in the student pool.
Carlos
Maybe. Yeah.
Andrew Santino
Yeah. Let's grab something.
Carlos
Does anybody want. No, let's see. Incentive. Don't grab them yet. Just don't grab anybody. Go back in your booth.
Andrew Santino
Don't grab a woman.
Carlos
Here's. I want them to have incentive.
Andrew Santino
Incentive, Right. Incense. You want.
Carlos
You do that.
Andrew Santino
Well, I can't hear you.
Carlos
Incentive.
Andrew Santino
I want them to have incentive. I want to be incentivized.
Carlos
So they need to volunteer themselves and walk in.
Andrew Santino
Okay. Volunteer for someone to walk in. Whoever wants to be on the first up, go ahead. Who is. Hi.
Carlos
Hi.
Andrew Santino
Take a seat there.
Carlos
You want both? We get both.
Andrew Santino
Oh, both is fine.
Carlos
Both is fine.
Andrew Santino
Both is fine. Do we have a Camera for two or no? Yes, we do.
Carlos
Did you get your pants from Target?
Bobby Lee
No. Urban Outfitters, actually.
Carlos
Okay. I'm kidding.
Andrew Santino
Why is that a shot?
Carlos
I don't know why I did that. That was so rude.
Andrew Santino
Very weird.
Carlos
Yeah, yeah. Oh, yeah.
Andrew Santino
Because they're nice. Because those are really nice. Pancakes and fries.
Carlos
Yeah, yeah.
Bobby Lee
Somebody had to serve breakfast this morning.
Andrew Santino
God bless.
Carlos
Yeah.
Andrew Santino
Serve it up, girl. Go off queen. Yeah, serve. She's serving.
Carlos
She's serving.
Andrew Santino
She's serving.
Carlos
Yeah.
Andrew Santino
What's your name there in the blue chair?
Bobby Lee
I'm Sophia.
Andrew Santino
Sophia, put the mic up towards you.
Carlos
And try to be a little louder, both of you.
Andrew Santino
Sophia. Sophia, do. You broke the mic. Five seconds. She breaks the mic.
Carlos
Yeah, yeah.
Andrew Santino
No, it's fine.
Carlos
Sophia, what is going on, dude?
Andrew Santino
Sophia.
Carlos
What are you, Johnny Rotten? She's destroying the set.
Andrew Santino
It's very funny.
Carlos
Yeah, yeah.
Andrew Santino
What does this say?
Carlos
Today?
Andrew Santino
God save the queens.
Carlos
Yeah, yeah.
Andrew Santino
Hey, so, Sophia, just leave it alone.
Carlos
No, no, have her fix it. I want her to work under pressure. Fix it, Sophia. Fix it. Yeah. What's your name?
Bobby Lee
Amanda.
Carlos
Hi, Amanda. While you're fixing that, we're gonna talk to Amanda.
Bobby Lee
Okay?
Andrew Santino
Yeah, Amanda. You guys are both at Quinnipiac?
Bobby Lee
Yes.
Andrew Santino
Are you both east coast kids?
Bobby Lee
Yes.
Andrew Santino
Where are you from?
Bobby Lee
Jersey. Central Jersey. If you believe in Central Jersey.
Andrew Santino
We do.
Carlos
I'm a big believer.
Andrew Santino
It's a real place.
Carlos
Yeah. I honor it.
Andrew Santino
Sophia and Amanda.
Carlos
Yeah.
Andrew Santino
Yes. Sophia, where are you from?
Bobby Lee
Long Island.
Andrew Santino
You didn't fix the mic.
Carlos
Yeah. You gotta fix it.
Bobby Lee
I don't know where it keeps.
Carlos
Try to figure it out.
Andrew Santino
Don't worry about it.
Carlos
Okay. Don't worry.
Andrew Santino
You're from Long Island. How far out?
Bobby Lee
Middle.
Andrew Santino
What town you're both from?
Carlos
Middles.
Andrew Santino
Middle Jersey. Middle, Middle.
Carlos
Long Island. Yeah, yeah.
Bobby Lee
Like, you know. Suffolk County.
Andrew Santino
Yeah, Suffolk.
Bobby Lee
Yeah. Yeah. I'm like, right in the middle.
Andrew Santino
Give me your home address. I'm driving there in five days. I'll be driving through. I'll say hi to your parents. I'm not even kidding. Wouldn't that be fun if I stopped by? Because I'm going out to Long island, so I'll be going out, way out, so I could stop by.
Carlos
I'll never stop by.
Andrew Santino
No, that's true. So what year are you guys at Quinnipiac?
Bobby Lee
I'm a junior. I'm going to be a senior next year. I'm going into my third year.
Carlos
What? So. But you guys are. What, let me guess, 21?
Andrew Santino
No, 19.
Bobby Lee
I'm 21.
Andrew Santino
You're 19? Yes. About to be a junior.
Carlos
Okay.
Andrew Santino
19 and 21. So you're. You're almost on your way out.
Bobby Lee
Yeah.
Andrew Santino
Do you have any hopes for the future?
Bobby Lee
A lot, actually.
Andrew Santino
And what are they?
Bobby Lee
I want to work in the music industry. Post grad.
Carlos
Oh, that's why you had bad friends, huh?
Andrew Santino
That's good.
Bobby Lee
Exactly.
Carlos
Yeah.
Andrew Santino
What do you want to do in the music industry? Something like, like I want to do.
Bobby Lee
Marketing for a record label.
Andrew Santino
Ah. Oh, very good.
Carlos
Yeah.
Andrew Santino
What about you?
Bobby Lee
Kind of whatever can get get me on my feet.
Carlos
Yeah. You're my kind of person.
Andrew Santino
Yeah.
Carlos
Already. Yeah.
Andrew Santino
This is so funny. She's you. She's me.
Carlos
I know.
Andrew Santino
It's so weirdest thing. She's you.
Carlos
Yeah.
Andrew Santino
What are your skill sets?
Carlos
Just say nothing.
Bobby Lee
Nothing.
Carlos
Yeah. Yeah. Good. You're me.
Andrew Santino
Yeah, yeah, yeah. And you have a litany of skill sets. You can do a lot of things. Huh? You're a good student.
Bobby Lee
I can.
Andrew Santino
You work very hard. Yes. This is interesting.
Carlos
Did you get straight A's?
Bobby Lee
Yeah.
Carlos
Oh.
Andrew Santino
Oh, you did? Yeah.
Bobby Lee
No, I don't.
Carlos
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. See, that right there is me. You. You don't stand on anything. You go back and forth. That's great.
Andrew Santino
Flip flop.
Carlos
What do you watch?
Bobby Lee
Horror.
Carlos
Oh. What's your favorite horror movie? I'm a huge. Top three horror movies.
Bobby Lee
Go Scream. The original, I guess the Fear street series. Yeah.
Carlos
Yeah.
Andrew Santino
Are you guys best friends?
Bobby Lee
We're going to be after this.
Andrew Santino
Because you look at her like you. She knows your answers.
Carlos
Yeah, we do.
Bobby Lee
We're both horror fans.
Andrew Santino
Yeah.
Carlos
Oh.
Andrew Santino
Are you guys close?
Carlos
And what's a Fear Stream series? What is that? That?
Bobby Lee
It's like. It's like a Netflix original series. They just came out with a fourth one. Yeah.
Andrew Santino
Fear street.
Bobby Lee
And it takes place in like a long time ago. And they're like kind of spoofs on the original slashers.
Andrew Santino
Cool. Yeah, that's cool. Okay, like, what does RL Stein have to do with it?
Bobby Lee
RL Stein is the one who did Goosebumps, the Haunting Hour.
Andrew Santino
I know that, but I'm saying, why is that? Is he have anything to do with Fear Street? Oh, R.L. stine wrote the original Fear Street.
Bobby Lee
Yeah.
Andrew Santino
Prom queen. Oh, look at that.
Carlos
Well, is it. It's campy then.
Bobby Lee
Very. Yeah.
Carlos
I don't like it. That's not real fear.
Andrew Santino
Because RL does do campy stuff. He does, like, kind of like kitschy.
Carlos
Yeah, right?
Andrew Santino
Yeah.
Carlos
Kitschy. Yeah. I mean, you don't like the Exorcist?
Bobby Lee
Not really.
Andrew Santino
Right. You like it to be like light and goofy and kind of like, joking of it in and of itself. Right.
Bobby Lee
I like it to look fake.
Andrew Santino
Yeah, right. Exactly.
Bobby Lee
Like, kind of. He's right behind you, right?
Andrew Santino
Spaghetti western, type of goofball. Wackadoo.
Carlos
Hereditary.
Bobby Lee
Loved. Hereditary.
Andrew Santino
Now work parasite. You like that?
Carlos
Kind of.
Andrew Santino
Not like that, Right.
Carlos
They don't like parasites on a horror.
Andrew Santino
I know. They don't like gross, weird to psychological, fucked up. They like on the nose, goofy.
Carlos
God, it makes me mad.
Andrew Santino
That's all right.
Carlos
Oh, it makes me mad.
Andrew Santino
No, that's not real horror. I'm not saying parasites are. I'm saying they don't. They like.
Carlos
No, not you, them. Fear Street. I'm not gonna watch that.
Andrew Santino
Give me Fear Road and I'll watch.
Carlos
Yeah, yeah.
Andrew Santino
Do you know this show? Have you ever seen this show?
Bobby Lee
Yeah, we've seen it once or twice.
Andrew Santino
Oh, cool.
Carlos
You've heard of it, but Jesus. Okay. You're not nervous here.
Andrew Santino
They hate us.
Carlos
I know they do. I can tell.
Andrew Santino
I know.
Carlos
Yeah, yeah. Fear Street.
Andrew Santino
We've seen this show.
Carlos
Series. Nothing.
Andrew Santino
It's sophomoric.
Carlos
Well, wow.
Andrew Santino
Sorry. Sorry you hate us.
Carlos
So you want to be in the music industry? We don't know what you want to do.
Bobby Lee
Something that involves entertainment. Yeah.
Carlos
Like a producer. Can you write?
Bobby Lee
No.
Carlos
Okay.
Andrew Santino
What can you do? Give me one thing that you do very well.
Bobby Lee
Photography.
Andrew Santino
Okay.
Carlos
Okay.
Andrew Santino
Photographer.
Carlos
Okay.
Andrew Santino
That's a good start.
Carlos
Yeah.
Andrew Santino
What do you have a. Like a bunch of cameras?
Bobby Lee
I have one. Yeah.
Andrew Santino
What is it?
Bobby Lee
Canon rebel T6.
Andrew Santino
Look it up. I want to see which. What it looks like The Canon Rebel T6. Rebel T6. That's a camera. Now that.
Carlos
That's a real camera, right? How much is that camera?
Andrew Santino
It says it right there. Twelve hundred dollars.
Carlos
Wow.
Andrew Santino
No, it's 400 bucks.
Bobby Lee
It was. It's very old.
Andrew Santino
So you bought it when it's cheaper than that?
Bobby Lee
Yeah.
Andrew Santino
All right.
Bobby Lee
Like 2016.
Andrew Santino
Good for you.
Carlos
Is it digital?
Andrew Santino
They are digital, yeah. Everything is now.
Carlos
Okay. I don't know.
Andrew Santino
So you're out there snapping picks?
Bobby Lee
Yeah.
Andrew Santino
Yeah. And what you is this is your hobby or you. You're trying to slow. Is this something you really want to make your career but you're afraid to tell everybody?
Bobby Lee
No, it's more of a hobby.
Carlos
So you have no future?
Andrew Santino
No, I think you do. I just don't know what it is. I'm trying to figure out what I want to do.
Bobby Lee
Something like with social media, but I also want to do managing.
Andrew Santino
Managing of talent.
Bobby Lee
Yeah.
Andrew Santino
You want to manage talent.
Carlos
That's what you're gonna do.
Andrew Santino
Right.
Carlos
Why don't you move out here and become, like, a.
Andrew Santino
Do not move out here. Do not. They don't want to move out here. They're east coast kids. They're gonna stay east.
Carlos
Lionsgate has that job open right now.
Andrew Santino
Manager, social media, WWTV Marketing.
Carlos
Yeah. Also, you could get it like, a mailroom job at an agency.
Bobby Lee
Yeah.
Andrew Santino
Very hard. Yeah. That's a hard gig to get.
Carlos
Now, we have connections.
Andrew Santino
We don't know her.
Carlos
That's right.
Andrew Santino
I can't vouch for something I can't just met for the first time. I mean, she doesn't even know if she wants it.
Carlos
I know. That's right. You'd have to want it.
Bobby Lee
I'm willing to try anything, though.
Carlos
You have to work hard, though, and it's. It.
Bobby Lee
What are you calling me? Not a hard worker.
Carlos
We don't know.
Andrew Santino
I have no idea.
Carlos
Yeah. You don't even.
Andrew Santino
I can't tell.
Carlos
You don't even know what you want to do. Really?
Andrew Santino
I can't tell if you're. If she's, like, very smart and astute and good at stuff, and she's playing with us, and she's just toying with.
Carlos
Us, but this is my energy.
Andrew Santino
Right? You like this?
Carlos
Yeah. Because you look at me, ask me with something.
Andrew Santino
What do you do?
Carlos
I don't know.
Andrew Santino
All right, same.
Carlos
Yeah, same thing. That's who I am.
Andrew Santino
All right, well, Jersey knows. She wants to be in the music industry. And has Quinnipiac been great? We visited your school.
Bobby Lee
Yeah. I actually came in as a criminal justice major, so I'm like. I made the switch my freshman year, but it's been great to me.
Andrew Santino
What are your. What is your mom. She's me.
Carlos
Yeah.
Andrew Santino
What does your mom and dad do?
Bobby Lee
They both work in the steel industry.
Andrew Santino
Vague. I like vague.
Bobby Lee
Yeah, well, my dad has an engineering degree, so he does all the engineering kind of stuff, but he definitely wanted me to be a doctor.
Carlos
Yes.
Andrew Santino
And then your mom. What?
Bobby Lee
She works in more of the clerical side, so she does a lot of.
Carlos
I thought she was. Yeah.
Andrew Santino
They work together.
Bobby Lee
They used to. That's how they met.
Andrew Santino
Right. Yeah, I could see that. That makes. Perfect you're. That you have that kind of energy. Are you an only child? Yes. Yeah. Saw that coming.
Carlos
Yeah. Yeah, yeah.
Andrew Santino
I could feel it. Now, you. You're definitely not an only child, and you hate your older sister.
Bobby Lee
I am an only child.
Andrew Santino
You are.
Bobby Lee
That's why I was like, what do.
Carlos
You think you're psychic?
Andrew Santino
I was trying.
Carlos
That was the biggest fail ever.
Andrew Santino
I was Trying.
Carlos
So embarrassing.
Andrew Santino
I tried.
Carlos
Yeah.
Andrew Santino
Our guy gave me influence. The astrological guy was making me feel.
Carlos
Yeah, you don't have the talent.
Andrew Santino
No, I don't got it.
Carlos
Yeah, you don't got it.
Andrew Santino
I don't got any.
Carlos
Yeah.
Andrew Santino
You're an only child.
Bobby Lee
Yeah.
Andrew Santino
What does your mom and dad do?
Bobby Lee
Mom's an accountant. Dad's a mechanic.
Andrew Santino
Car mechanic.
Bobby Lee
Yeah. He owns his own shop. Yeah.
Carlos
Blue collar.
Andrew Santino
Well, shout out his shop.
Carlos
I'm blue collar. I come from blue collar.
Andrew Santino
What's your dad's shop name? He comes with blue collar. Get. Dude, you live. You. You went to a country club. You lived in a mansion growing up.
Carlos
Yeah, but my dad had a blue collar job.
Andrew Santino
It's not blue collar when you own a shop. Liar. Fashion gal.
Carlos
Look at that.
Andrew Santino
His dad owned.
Carlos
My dad owned that retail.
Andrew Santino
That's not blue collar. You don't understand what blue collar means? It's. That's laborers. You lived in the richest town in Minnesota. Yeah, you liar. Shut up. Oh, yeah. Her father works with his hands. It's blue collar.
Carlos
Yeah, but he owns his own shop. How is that going to apply?
Andrew Santino
He uses his fucking.
Carlos
My dad worked. He had no employees. He worked every day.
Andrew Santino
That's because he was a cheap Korean fuck. He didn't want to hire anybody.
Carlos
Okay, but see those mannequins?
Andrew Santino
He put them together. Yeah, I know.
Carlos
Okay.
Andrew Santino
Do you know why it's called blue collar?
Carlos
No, seriously, don't. Please don't do this right now.
Andrew Santino
I'm being serious.
Carlos
Yeah, I look like a fool.
Andrew Santino
No, but think about it.
Carlos
They have a collar and it's blue.
Andrew Santino
Right. And versus white collars, usually guys who wear suits.
Carlos
Right, Right.
Andrew Santino
Right.
Carlos
Okay.
Andrew Santino
Right. So people. Right. Okay.
Carlos
My dad didn't wear a suit.
Andrew Santino
That's right.
Carlos
He wore a blue collar shirt.
Andrew Santino
No, he didn't know. He wear a blue T shirt?
Carlos
No, Blue collar.
Andrew Santino
He didn't wear collar.
Carlos
Yeah, I did.
Andrew Santino
No, he wore T shirts. Fashion girl T shirts.
Carlos
Okay.
Andrew Santino
That's what he wore.
Carlos
Okay.
Andrew Santino
That's what he wore.
Carlos
Okay. Anyway, let's go back to.
Andrew Santino
What's the name of your dad's shop? Can we see it? We can cut it out.
Bobby Lee
Old Nickel service station.
Andrew Santino
Old Nickels service station.
Carlos
If your car is broken down, go to. Oh, nickel station in Long Island. Long Island.
Andrew Santino
Is that it?
Bobby Lee
Yeah.
Carlos
Yeah.
Andrew Santino
That's fucking awesome. That's obviously your last name. Nichols.
Bobby Lee
Nope.
Andrew Santino
Who's old Nichols?
Carlos
Yeah, it's clever.
Andrew Santino
By the way, it would be better if it was nickels, like the coin. And I seek it like old Nickels.
Carlos
I think someone died outside.
Andrew Santino
Oh, who died out front? Family member plants. Oh, they do die.
Carlos
That's a death burial.
Andrew Santino
That is a burial.
Carlos
Yeah. Yeah. Who died there?
Andrew Santino
Old Nichols. It's on.
Carlos
Kill somebody. Okay. Well, thank you. We're gonna get the next group.
Andrew Santino
You guys are great.
Carlos
You guys are great.
Andrew Santino
Thank you. Give it up for them.
Carlos
Yeah, give them a round applause.
Andrew Santino
Long island in Jersey.
Carlos
Very nice.
Andrew Santino
Two of the best. Two of the best in the game.
Carlos
Nickels Auto Center.
Andrew Santino
Old Nichols Auto Center. Bing, bang, boom, bam, boom. Is that your car making a noise? But boom, boom, you gotta take it down to the boys.
Carlos
Boom, boom.
Andrew Santino
Yeah, Old Nickels will fix up your car.
Carlos
Next two.
Andrew Santino
Boom, boom, boom, you'll go far. Old Nickels Auto Center.
Carlos
Incentive, incentive.
Andrew Santino
Incentivize.
Carlos
Back up.
Andrew Santino
Yeah, yeah.
Carlos
Whoa. Yay. Yay. Hey.
Andrew Santino
Two. Two students.
Carlos
Yeah.
Andrew Santino
All right. What's your name? Where are you from?
Carlos
What you do?
Bobby Lee
I'm Judy.
Andrew Santino
Judy.
Carlos
Judy.
Andrew Santino
We love Judy. Judy. Where. Where are you from?
Bobby Lee
I'm from North Carolina.
Andrew Santino
Which part?
Bobby Lee
Carrie.
Andrew Santino
I know Carrie.
Carlos
You do?
Andrew Santino
I do.
Carlos
What's there?
Andrew Santino
My dad's from North Carolina. You know that? Oh, my dad's from a small town called Valdez. You don't know it?
Bobby Lee
Nope.
Andrew Santino
No, it's near Hickory. You do know Hickory, though?
Bobby Lee
Yes, I know.
Carlos
Is that where from Hickory cheese comes from?
Andrew Santino
That's exactly right.
Carlos
Okay.
Andrew Santino
It's. No, it's hickory furniture.
Carlos
Okay.
Andrew Santino
All right. Judy's from. From North Carolina. And what's your name?
Bobby Lee
I'm Zoe.
Andrew Santino
Hi, Zoe. Zoe, very calm.
Carlos
Where you from? Where are you from, Zoe?
Bobby Lee
I'm from Long Island.
Carlos
Really?
Andrew Santino
Do you know about Old Nichols Auto Center? I don't, but you do now. Yeah.
Carlos
Let's play a game. Guess the race.
Andrew Santino
Guess the Race. Here we are on Guess the Race.
Carlos
Yes, there is. Yeah. You're half of something.
Bobby Lee
Yeah, I'm a quarter of something.
Carlos
You're a quarter of a quarter.
Andrew Santino
A quarter.
Carlos
Let me guess. What is it? I already know. You got to be a quarter Asian.
Andrew Santino
Well, yeah, dude, but which one? That's that. Anyone?
Carlos
You can't guess. Quarters of what? It's watered down. There's no way to know.
Andrew Santino
I can. I can tell.
Carlos
Okay, which one it is.
Andrew Santino
My instinct says Chinese.
Carlos
Okay, can I just.
Andrew Santino
Am I right? God bless.
Carlos
Wow, you do have psychic abilities. He has it.
Andrew Santino
I know my Chinese.
Carlos
Did you know your Chinese grandmother or grandfather?
Bobby Lee
No, I didn't. Yeah, before I knew them, but yeah. My mom's half Chinese, so.
Andrew Santino
Your mom's half Chinese?
Carlos
Yeah. Yeah.
Andrew Santino
And your dad is What?
Bobby Lee
Wait.
Andrew Santino
Boring.
Carlos
You have Chinese.
Andrew Santino
Judy, are you Chinese? You guys want to guess?
Bobby Lee
I know mine might be hard.
Carlos
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Andrew Santino
Judy, I feel like you might be Puerto Rican and. And Puerto Rican and Dominican. Moroccan.
Bobby Lee
Yeah, yeah.
Andrew Santino
Did I get it?
Bobby Lee
Yeah, you got it. 5%.
Carlos
Yeah.
Andrew Santino
Knew it.
Carlos
Yeah.
Andrew Santino
Knew it.
Carlos
Yeah.
Andrew Santino
All right, so you guys are a Quinnipiac. And you're what, ages, what, years at Quinnipiac?
Bobby Lee
I'm a grad student.
Andrew Santino
Yeah, you look more mature. You look like you're you. You've. You've been through the gambit.
Carlos
Yeah.
Andrew Santino
And what about you?
Bobby Lee
I'm going into my third year.
Andrew Santino
Third year.
Bobby Lee
Yeah.
Carlos
It was so fun. I was gonna wear my Brad Pitt T shirt. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So.
Andrew Santino
That he is the man.
Carlos
Yeah, yeah.
Andrew Santino
This guy's a mega baby.
Carlos
Why?
Andrew Santino
This guy thinks he's Pedro Pascal, but yeah.
Carlos
Yeah.
Andrew Santino
Stupid Spaniard. And Judy, what year are you. Is this your first year in grad school?
Bobby Lee
Yeah, it's a one year program, so.
Andrew Santino
You'Re in and out.
Bobby Lee
I'm almost done. Yeah.
Carlos
What do you want to do, Jude? Hey, Judy.
Bobby Lee
I want to be in sports media.
Andrew Santino
Sports media. Like you want to do on camera stuff.
Bobby Lee
Yes.
Andrew Santino
Easy, easy. You got it.
Carlos
Caitlin Clark. You know, another three, that's you. Oh, yeah.
Andrew Santino
Okay.
Carlos
Yeah, yeah.
Andrew Santino
I mean, you are. She's very personable.
Carlos
I love.
Andrew Santino
What do you want to do? Film. You want to be. What do you want to be on camera or behind it?
Bobby Lee
Probably behind it.
Andrew Santino
Behind it.
Carlos
I can tell you want to be a director.
Bobby Lee
Yeah, actually, I could see that.
Carlos
I can see that. Yeah, I can see that.
Andrew Santino
You want to be a director.
Carlos
Yeah.
Andrew Santino
You think you. You think you'll. Oh, you like editing? We need an editor because we're about to lose one.
Carlos
Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
Andrew Santino
You think you could edit as good as he does?
Bobby Lee
I mean, maybe.
Andrew Santino
Ah, dude, I like this.
Carlos
You seem like you have deep film knowledge. What's your top five films, my friend?
Bobby Lee
I can't do that.
Carlos
Top three.
Andrew Santino
Oh, give it. Just give us a chunk of films.
Carlos
Well, just give me a chunk of films.
Bobby Lee
I'll say My Cousin Vinny.
Andrew Santino
Oh, such a good movie.
Carlos
Good.
Andrew Santino
Fantastic.
Carlos
That's it.
Andrew Santino
That's it.
Carlos
Okay.
Andrew Santino
That's a movie she likes.
Bobby Lee
I have some more.
Carlos
Okay, okay. Give me some more. Okay.
Bobby Lee
I could go Singing in the Rain.
Carlos
Okay.
Andrew Santino
Singing in the Rain. Singing in the Rain.
Carlos
It's a classic. Yeah.
Andrew Santino
Very sweet. And then it was shot in about an hour and a half. I don't know if you know that.
Carlos
Yeah, yeah. Singing in the Right, Quick, quick.
Andrew Santino
Film.
Carlos
Who's in that? Sinatra. Who's that? Fred Astaire.
Andrew Santino
What? Gene.
Carlos
Gene Kelly. Yeah. Singing in the Rain.
Andrew Santino
Just.
Carlos
It's so white, that movie. I can't even do it. I get like, trembles when I watch that.
Andrew Santino
I'll do your version then.
Carlos
Yeah. Me.
Andrew Santino
Yeah.
Carlos
Screaming in Tsunami. Yeah, that's. That's the movie I want to see.
Andrew Santino
That's a good movie.
Carlos
Yeah. Screaming.
Andrew Santino
Have you guys ever seen this show?
Bobby Lee
No.
Andrew Santino
Okay, good.
Carlos
Have you heard of the show?
Bobby Lee
No, I've, like, seen, like, on TikTok. Yeah.
Carlos
Oh, so you're vaguely aware.
Bobby Lee
Yes.
Carlos
You. Nothing.
Bobby Lee
No. Something like famous TikTok.
Carlos
I'll go.
Andrew Santino
Well, lock in. You'll. You'll. You'll be one. You'll be a TikTok here in a couple of weeks.
Carlos
I mean, you're on the show now. Yeah. Yeah. How do you feel about that? Uneasy.
Andrew Santino
My favorite thing about this show is people who get on this show because of this stupid program that he does.
Carlos
Yeah.
Andrew Santino
They don't want to be on this show. You know how many millions of people want to be on the show?
Carlos
I know.
Andrew Santino
It's the funniest thing.
Carlos
I love it.
Andrew Santino
People who are like, I don't know, these two dummies.
Carlos
Yeah, yeah, but it's great. Dummies.
Andrew Santino
We're us. Dumb.
Carlos
Oh, okay.
Andrew Santino
See, that's how dumb you are. Talking about you.
Carlos
Yeah, yeah, yeah, I'm dumb. Yeah. I am dumb.
Andrew Santino
Yeah.
Carlos
Yeah, yeah.
Andrew Santino
Judy, What's a dream job? Espn. Yeah, yeah, espn. Listen up. Disney, abc, Hulu, we have. We're working with Hulu. Give this girl a job.
Carlos
Yeah, give her a job.
Andrew Santino
Now what's. What would. Sport. Would you want to cover basketball? Can you give me, like a wrap up of a game? Just as best as you can. Just give me like a wrap up. Like, you know, like, don't. What Doris does sometimes or something.
Bobby Lee
All right, so the Indiana Pacers just defeated the New York Knicks in game six. And we had Pascal C. Occam as the Finals mvp. They'll be looking to go against the Oklahoma City Thunder next week.
Andrew Santino
You're. She's great. Espn. What the are you waiting for?
Carlos
What are you waiting for? Right? That was incredible, Judy.
Andrew Santino
It's in the bag.
Carlos
Yeah.
Andrew Santino
All you have to do is not screw up the next year of grad school.
Bobby Lee
Okay?
Andrew Santino
No drugs, no drinking, no dropping out.
Bobby Lee
Okay.
Andrew Santino
Stick to it and you're good.
Carlos
Yeah. Three. Okay.
Andrew Santino
And you do drugs, drink, make film.
Carlos
Yeah, yeah.
Andrew Santino
It's the only way to do it.
Carlos
Yeah.
Andrew Santino
2. Opposite ends of the spectrum.
Carlos
All right, give it up.
Andrew Santino
Thank you. Guys are amazing. Appreciate it that there's no other students. Oh, there's one more solo.
Carlos
Can we do one more?
Andrew Santino
Yes. Put them in here.
Carlos
Just do one more mic closer to your mouth if. What's your name?
Bobby Lee
Rachel.
Carlos
Hi, Rachel.
Andrew Santino
Ms. Rachel.
Carlos
Ms. Rachel.
Andrew Santino
Miss Rachel.
Carlos
Where are you from, Ms. Rachel?
Bobby Lee
I'm from upstate New York.
Carlos
All right. Oneonta.
Bobby Lee
Albany.
Andrew Santino
Albany. We've been up there. The Egg.
Bobby Lee
Yep.
Carlos
Yeah, we've been up there. Yeah. Yeah.
Andrew Santino
Have you. Have you gone to the Egg to see a performance?
Bobby Lee
Not to do a performance, but when I was younger, I did, like, drama classes, and. And my performances were there at the end.
Carlos
Wow. What roles have you done?
Bobby Lee
I was, like, in middle school. It was like.
Carlos
It doesn't matter. I was in middle school. I did. I was a Huckleberry Finn.
Bobby Lee
I don't remember.
Carlos
I think I was.
Bobby Lee
They were like original plays. I don't like when I was like.
Carlos
Can you sing?
Bobby Lee
No.
Andrew Santino
Oh, but you can act.
Bobby Lee
Not anymore.
Andrew Santino
Oh, you've given it up.
Carlos
You lost a touch.
Andrew Santino
What are you doing at Quinnipiac?
Bobby Lee
I'm a media studies major, so I. I'm also not really sure what I want to do, so.
Andrew Santino
That's okay.
Carlos
That's okay.
Andrew Santino
We don't either, and we're at least 53 years old.
Carlos
Yeah, I don't have. Yeah, I like your whole look. Thank you. It's really cool. Where do you get clothes? Thrifting.
Bobby Lee
Yeah, this whole outfit is thrifted, actually.
Carlos
It's amazing.
Andrew Santino
Thank you, Ms. Rachel. So what year are you. Let's get.
Carlos
Wait a little further. Ms. Rachel.
Andrew Santino
Let's guess what year Rachel is at Quinnipiac. What do you mean?
Carlos
What.
Andrew Santino
What year? Freshman, sophomore, junior, Senior. Let's. On the count of three. One, two, three.
Carlos
Junior.
Bobby Lee
Junior. Yes.
Andrew Santino
I'm good. Dude, my psychic shit is I only.
Carlos
Know sophomore and junior, so I thank.
Andrew Santino
God and I can. I'm psychic.
Carlos
Oh, senior and junior and freshmen.
Andrew Santino
Very good. So I'm psychic. I can guess. I bet you she's from. I bet you're from Albany.
Bobby Lee
Yeah.
Andrew Santino
Pretty good. Upstate New York.
Carlos
Yeah.
Andrew Santino
Now we're gonna cut it to make it look like I just said that.
Carlos
Okay, here's. Here's one. Let me guess what? Your parents. Your parents still together? Okay, good. Let me guess. Your father works for the government.
Bobby Lee
Yeah.
Andrew Santino
No way.
Carlos
Yeah.
Andrew Santino
What does he do for the government?
Bobby Lee
He's a mailman.
Andrew Santino
Ah. That, technically, is the government. That's not what you were thinking.
Carlos
And your mother isn't used to be a nurse?
Andrew Santino
No, teacher. Oh, your mom. Oh, yes, I know.
Carlos
She's dead.
Andrew Santino
She died? No, no, she's alive. Thank God. Thank God, Rachel. Thank God. Your dad is a male man and.
Carlos
Your mother does what?
Bobby Lee
She's a computer programmer.
Andrew Santino
Whoa.
Carlos
Whoa.
Andrew Santino
Very cool.
Carlos
Yeah. Working.
Bobby Lee
Yes.
Carlos
Amazing. So you come from bright, bright people.
Bobby Lee
Yeah.
Andrew Santino
Good people.
Carlos
Good people.
Andrew Santino
Very good people.
Carlos
Yeah.
Andrew Santino
Now, a mailman would be what, collar?
Carlos
Blue collar.
Andrew Santino
That's good.
Carlos
Exactly.
Andrew Santino
Now you're getting it.
Carlos
You, dude.
Andrew Santino
I love doing like that.
Carlos
Is your mailman the type of guy that everyone knows?
Andrew Santino
Mailman. Carrying the mail. I'm a Jamaican mailman. Hey, mailman.
Carlos
No like, did you open your mail? What's your dad's last name? Oh, Mr. Curzon. Hi. Are they or they don't. They don't know. They.
Bobby Lee
He talks to everybody.
Carlos
Oh, he does?
Bobby Lee
Yeah.
Carlos
And dogs love them.
Andrew Santino
Mailman.
Carlos
Yeah. Yeah.
Andrew Santino
Get the dog away from me. I'm the mailman.
Carlos
Okay. Oh, good.
Andrew Santino
I can see the character. Mailman. So, mailman.
Carlos
Yeah. Yeah.
Andrew Santino
I gotta deliver the mail. Get your dog away from me.
Carlos
Bro.
Andrew Santino
Mailman is on fire. Can somebody write a mailman movie?
Carlos
Yeah, yeah.
Andrew Santino
He knows everybody. Talks to everybody. He's the man.
Bobby Lee
Yes.
Andrew Santino
And you love him.
Bobby Lee
He's going to a lot of baseball games together.
Andrew Santino
Wait, wait. Time out. You're upstate New York, so you got to be a Yankees fan.
Bobby Lee
We're Phillies fans.
Andrew Santino
What the is wrong with these?
Carlos
You have a brother?
Andrew Santino
No, Upstate New York sister.
Carlos
You're only child. Yeah. That's what they're doing lately.
Andrew Santino
Well, they're all putting them in the Quinnipiac, apparently.
Carlos
Yeah. Yeah.
Andrew Santino
Judy. Are you an only child? It's okay. Judy's not. So we got one. Okay, so upstate New York. The Bronx is not that far from you. And yet you like Philly.
Bobby Lee
Yeah. My dad, well, the Phillies were good when my dad was a kid, so then he just passed that on to me.
Andrew Santino
When you always adopt. What your dad was. I get that. His dad was an Arsenal fan, so that's why he is.
Carlos
He can't even say Arsenal. Okay.
Andrew Santino
That's how my dad said cannon breast. Mailman.
Carlos
Yeah. Can you do an Asian accent?
Andrew Santino
Jesus Christ. We can.
Carlos
Yeah.
Andrew Santino
You're not gonna miss Rachel. Dreams and aspirations.
Bobby Lee
I'm a sports studies minor, so I would maybe like to go into sports, too. Maybe baseball. But can just.
Andrew Santino
Can you call a game?
Bobby Lee
No.
Andrew Santino
You don't want to call it? You want to do data and analytics?
Bobby Lee
Yeah, I like that. I can. And I love learning, like, baseball history, like off the top of my head, I can go back to like, like 1967 and like in the World Series winners.
Andrew Santino
Are you kidding me?
Carlos
I don't know anything. You know Daryl Strawberry?
Andrew Santino
Yeah. Yeah.
Carlos
That's the only name.
Andrew Santino
Big Coke fan.
Carlos
Yeah. Jackie Robinson.
Andrew Santino
Coke.
Bobby Lee
I have a ball signed by him, my uncle.
Carlos
Oh, my God, you have a Jackson Robinson ball. She's really into it.
Bobby Lee
Yeah.
Andrew Santino
So wait a minute. You can name every World Series winner from until back until 1963.
Bobby Lee
1967. Around there.
Andrew Santino
Okay, look at me. Don't look at the screen because he's gonna pull it up.
Carlos
Yeah, don't. Don't pull it up.
Andrew Santino
So I can't name a year and you can't pull it out. I like, if I say 79, Pirates, 76.
Bobby Lee
I do know that. Give me the 70s because it was like there were three back to back winners. And I think 76 was the Reds. Is either the Reds or the Yankees.
Andrew Santino
I think it was the Yankees, but you might be right if it's the Reds. Reds. Reds. Holy.
Carlos
It was Reds. Wow.
Andrew Santino
How about.
Carlos
She's great.
Andrew Santino
All right, how about this? I'm gonna jump time. I'm gonna time jump.
Bobby Lee
Okay.
Andrew Santino
86 Mets. Holy.
Carlos
Holy. Did you know that?
Andrew Santino
You know the game?
Carlos
Oh, yeah.
Andrew Santino
The 86 Mets, you know. Okay. All right, so how about. God, this is insane. 2017 Astros.
Bobby Lee
Because that was the bang in the trash.
Andrew Santino
Yeah. You remember, you know.
Carlos
Oh, my God.
Andrew Santino
Banging the can. Who was the year before, though?
Bobby Lee
2016 Cubs.
Andrew Santino
God bless. It's my hometown. Who was the year before us? 2015 royals. Jesus.
Carlos
Jesus Christ.
Andrew Santino
Are you. This is a nod. I'm asking this gen. Are you autistic?
Carlos
No.
Andrew Santino
You're just brilliant. Wow.
Bobby Lee
So.
Andrew Santino
Because we have a lot of autism in this room, and I'm. This is just brilliant, guys.
Carlos
This is regular other people, you know, like presidents.
Bobby Lee
No, no.
Carlos
Okay.
Andrew Santino
No, she loves baseball.
Carlos
Maybe she's one of those. You know what I mean?
Andrew Santino
She loves baseball.
Carlos
Yeah.
Andrew Santino
Favorite Philly of all time. Yeah.
Bobby Lee
Ryan Howard.
Andrew Santino
One of the best, I tell you.
Carlos
Wow.
Andrew Santino
I played golf with him a couple months ago. Yeah. How cool is that?
Bobby Lee
Love him.
Carlos
Oh, my God. Named Rob. She said she had a ball from Hollywood. I played golf with them the other day, so let the off.
Andrew Santino
He is. He is the man.
Carlos
Yeah. Yeah.
Andrew Santino
Jimmy Rollins. You like Jimmy Rollins? Play golf with him, too.
Carlos
Yeah. Okay. Yeah.
Andrew Santino
I'll just name a bunch of Phillies.
Carlos
Yeah.
Andrew Santino
Did you like Schwaber when he was on the Phillies or.
Bobby Lee
No, he's still on the Phillies.
Andrew Santino
I thought you guys got Rid of him?
Bobby Lee
No.
Andrew Santino
Oh.
Bobby Lee
It's his contract year.
Carlos
God, man, look at her. She's a big fan.
Andrew Santino
Well, you know why I don't care about him anymore? Because when we dumped him off to you guys, we didn't give a. He didn't play that good without us. We're better without him.
Bobby Lee
He's better now.
Andrew Santino
Well, we're better without him. Check the record. You know what's going on.
Carlos
Would you take Shoshai or Anani.
Andrew Santino
Would you take Shohei Ohtani in cosplay if he walked up to.
Carlos
Is he good? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Would you take him on your team?
Andrew Santino
Of course.
Carlos
Okay, good.
Andrew Santino
Would you take him?
Carlos
What?
Andrew Santino
He's probably one of the greatest living baseball players.
Carlos
He's so great. I've seen.
Andrew Santino
No, no, no, no. I don't. I'm trying to explain to you in the way that you talk about, like, in the way that you talk about. I'm trying to give you the best example I can. Henry. No, no. Even better than Henri, though. I'm saying, like the greatest. Like Maradon.
Carlos
Messy.
Andrew Santino
Messy.
Carlos
Yeah.
Andrew Santino
This guy is messy to baseball.
Carlos
Wow.
Andrew Santino
He's a. He's unfucking believable. He's a. He is a. He is a. He's a statistician's mind. He's a. Mind how good he is, it's like, shocking.
Carlos
Wow.
Andrew Santino
He broke a record. He. I mean, he shattered records in multiple. Of multiple lanes.
Carlos
Yeah.
Andrew Santino
And he's a pitcher who also bats. Yeah, he doesn't even have to.
Carlos
He got two home runs the other day.
Andrew Santino
Yeah, they beat him 18. Two. He's so good, Bob.
Carlos
Yeah.
Andrew Santino
That he doesn't even have to pitch. And they're still beating the living out of everybody.
Carlos
Wow. He's a good pitcher.
Andrew Santino
He's awesome.
Carlos
Yeah. Yeah. What? He might start pitching this year.
Andrew Santino
Yeah, they said maybe, but I think if they're smart, they just don't need to. I wouldn't do it. If you're on the tear that they're on, why would you do it? There's a lot of sports talk radio. But I will say, I do love that you love baseball. I gotta say, my favorite Quinnipiac student so far.
Carlos
Do mailman again.
Andrew Santino
Mailman. By the way, there's. How about this? Do we have any fans that are Jamaican? Mailman. Mailman. Please fucking email us. You know, there's a kid in New York who's a Jamaican mailman. I bet my life on it. And email Carlos in the booth and give us a video of you saying, give us a video of you delivering mail.
Carlos
I'm the mailman, so can you do me? You're going to close out the show. I want you to look into that camera and say thank you for being a bad friend.
Bobby Lee
Thank you for being a bad friend, Ms. Rachel.
Andrew Santino
Amazing battered bastards of baseball.
Carlos
D.
Podcast Summary: Bad Friends Episode "Don't Bring a White Girl"
Episode Information:
The episode kicks off with Bobby Lee and Andrew Santino engaging in playful insults, setting the tone for their characteristic humor.
They delve into a humorous discussion about the song "Oh, What a Night," blending absurdity with historical references, such as mentions of internment camps and perspectives from different nationalities.
Andrew highlights Nathan Fielder's impressive feat of learning to fly a commercial plane, sparking admiration and envy between the hosts.
The hosts compare the current state of the comedy industry to previous generations, emphasizing the increase in comedians and the impact of the internet.
They mention Ricky Gervais’s recent achievements and express admiration, while also humorously recounting Andrew’s attempt to invite him onto the podcast.
The conversation shifts to personal lives, focusing on pet behavior and the emotional bonds between pets and owners.
They discuss feline and canine cognitive dysfunction, sharing stories about their pets' behaviors when owners are away.
In an innovative segment, the hosts entertain the idea of replacing Carlos, a recurring character/playful persona in the podcast. They humorously review and rate submissions from listeners aiming to "replace" Carlos.
This interactive segment includes several mock auditions from fans, complete with playful critiques and rating systems. The hosts engage with each submission, adding layers of humor and camaraderie.
Throughout the episode, the hosts incorporate seamless advertisements, maintaining their comedic style while promoting various brands.
The hosts continue their playful auditions, bringing in more audience submissions and interacting with virtual participants. They create exaggerated personas and scenarios to entertain their listeners.
Transitioning into sports, the hosts discuss baseball with a mix of genuine interest and sarcastic humor. They delve into favorite teams, memorable games, and personal anecdotes related to sports.
The episode concludes with light-hearted exchanges, reinforcing the bond between the hosts and their listeners. Bobby and Andrew express their appreciation for their audience, wrapping up the episode on a humorous note.
Notable Quotes:
Conclusion: The "Don't Bring a White Girl" episode of Bad Friends epitomizes Bobby Lee and Andrew Santino’s dynamic interplay of humor, personal anecdotes, and audience engagement. From playful insults to in-depth discussions on comedy and pets, the episode offers a rich tapestry of conversations designed to entertain and connect with listeners. The seamless integration of advertisements ensures a balanced listening experience, keeping the comedic spirit alive throughout.
For those who haven't listened, this episode provides a quintessential glimpse into the Bad Friends podcast's unique blend of humor, casual banter, and interactive segments.