Don't Bring a White Girl

Summary

Podcast Summary: Bad Friends Episode "Don't Bring a White Girl"

Episode Information:

• Title: Don't Bring a White Girl
• Hosts: Bobby Lee & Andrew Santino
• Release Date: July 7, 2025
• Production: A 7EQUIS Production
• Follow Bad Friends:
  • Instagram
  • Patreon
  • TikTok
  • Website

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1. Opening Banter and Comedic Setup (00:00 - 02:00)

The episode kicks off with Bobby Lee and Andrew Santino engaging in playful insults, setting the tone for their characteristic humor.

• Bobby Lee [00:00]: "You two are bad friends."
• Andrew Santino [00:01]: "Who are these two idiots?"

They delve into a humorous discussion about the song "Oh, What a Night," blending absurdity with historical references, such as mentions of internment camps and perspectives from different nationalities.

2. Nathan Fielder's Plane Rehearsal (02:00 - 04:00)

Andrew highlights Nathan Fielder's impressive feat of learning to fly a commercial plane, sparking admiration and envy between the hosts.

• Andrew Santino [02:24]: "Have you seen the rehearsal with Nathan Fielder? He learned to fly a commercial plane. It's like one of the craziest things I think I've ever seen in my entire life."

3. Discussion on the Comedy Industry (04:00 - 12:00)

The hosts compare the current state of the comedy industry to previous generations, emphasizing the increase in comedians and the impact of the internet.

• Carlos [05:26]: "It's the most insane thing I've ever heard."
• Andrew Santino [05:09]: "There's way more comics now than ever."

They mention Ricky Gervais’s recent achievements and express admiration, while also humorously recounting Andrew’s attempt to invite him onto the podcast.

4. Personal Anecdotes and Pet Behavior (12:00 - 20:00)

The conversation shifts to personal lives, focusing on pet behavior and the emotional bonds between pets and owners.

• Andrew Santino [14:07]: "I'm leaving tomorrow for two weeks. And my dog sits and cries by the suitcase."

They discuss feline and canine cognitive dysfunction, sharing stories about their pets' behaviors when owners are away.

5. Replacing a Host: Audience Interaction and Auditions (20:00 - 58:00)

In an innovative segment, the hosts entertain the idea of replacing Carlos, a recurring character/playful persona in the podcast. They humorously review and rate submissions from listeners aiming to "replace" Carlos.

• Andrew Santino [30:06]: "We got some good ones."
• Carlos [34:00]: "I'm gonna give him a nine."

This interactive segment includes several mock auditions from fans, complete with playful critiques and rating systems. The hosts engage with each submission, adding layers of humor and camaraderie.

6. Advertising Segments

Throughout the episode, the hosts incorporate seamless advertisements, maintaining their comedic style while promoting various brands.

a. Simply Safe (20:46 - 22:03)

• Andrew Santino [21:10]: "Named best home security system of 2025 by CNET."

b. ShipStation (22:12 - 23:23)

• Carlos [22:21]: "Visit shipstation.com/badfriends to sign up for your free trial."

c. Quint (23:32 - 24:35)

• Andrew Santino [24:16]: "Go to quince.com/badfriends for free shipping on your order and 365-day returns."

d. OpenPhone (48:00 - 49:44)

• Carlos [49:20]: "Go to openphone.com/badfriends."

e. Zocdoc (50:45 - 51:03)

• Andrew Santino [50:56]: "Find and instantly book a top-rated doctor today."

7. Extended Audience Engagement and Final Auditions (58:00 - 73:00)

The hosts continue their playful auditions, bringing in more audience submissions and interacting with virtual participants. They create exaggerated personas and scenarios to entertain their listeners.

• Carlos [60:04]: "I'm Judith."
• Andrew Santino [62:42]: "You're a quarter of something."

8. Sports Talk and Quirky Conversations (73:00 - 84:00)

Transitioning into sports, the hosts discuss baseball with a mix of genuine interest and sarcastic humor. They delve into favorite teams, memorable games, and personal anecdotes related to sports.

• Bobby Lee [78:44]: "I have a ball signed by him, my uncle."
• Andrew Santino [81:24]: "Would you take Shohei Ohtani in cosplay if he walked up to your team?"

9. Closing Remarks and Final Interactions (84:00 - End)

The episode concludes with light-hearted exchanges, reinforcing the bond between the hosts and their listeners. Bobby and Andrew express their appreciation for their audience, wrapping up the episode on a humorous note.

• Andrew Santino [83:10]: "Thank you for being a bad friend, Ms. Rachel."

---

Notable Quotes:

• Bobby Lee [00:00]: "You two are bad friends."
• Andrew Santino [02:24]: "Have you seen the rehearsal with Nathan Fielder?"
• Carlos [05:26]: "It's the most insane thing I've ever heard."
• Andrew Santino [21:10]: "Name best home security system of 2025 by CNET."
• Andrew Santino [83:10]: "Thank you for being a bad friend, Ms. Rachel."

---

Conclusion: The "Don't Bring a White Girl" episode of Bad Friends epitomizes Bobby Lee and Andrew Santino’s dynamic interplay of humor, personal anecdotes, and audience engagement. From playful insults to in-depth discussions on comedy and pets, the episode offers a rich tapestry of conversations designed to entertain and connect with listeners. The seamless integration of advertisements ensures a balanced listening experience, keeping the comedic spirit alive throughout.

For those who haven't listened, this episode provides a quintessential glimpse into the Bad Friends podcast's unique blend of humor, casual banter, and interactive segments.

Transcript

[Bobby Lee]

You two are bad friends.

[Andrew Santino]

Who are these two idiots?

[Bobby Lee]

White dude and an Asian dude.

[Carlos]

You two are disgusting. You two or something.

[Andrew Santino]

We're bad friends. Oh, what a Night. Rating May about the 31st. I put together a show of hers and hymns from Asia. What an eye.

[Carlos]

I'm gonna get the lyrics. Oh, what? Oh, what Night Lyrics.

[Andrew Santino]

Oh, what a night.

[Carlos]

Oh, what a night. By the way, I was in an internment camp I was full of glee.

[Andrew Santino]

What a lady what a night.

[Carlos]

I want to be oh, what a night late December 1945. Look in the sky and whatnot. That night.

[Andrew Santino]

It was so unbelievably bright.

[Carlos]

Was it 45? I don't know.

[Andrew Santino]

45.

[Carlos]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Andrew Santino]

How about similar time, too, from the German's perspective?

[Carlos]

Yeah, that would have been a terrible night, actually.

[Andrew Santino]

What?

[Carlos]

Just. You're out, you know? I mean, you're. You're like, you know me picking rice. I don't know how they do it. And obviously you look in the sky. I know. What a dreadful.

[Andrew Santino]

It doesn't even make a noise, does it? Dude, did you see. Have you seen the rehearsal with Nathan Fielder? He learned to fly a commercial plane. It's like one of the craziest things I think I've ever seen in my entire life.

[Carlos]

Yeah, I think I saw him in a news interview saying that, but he really did. Wow.

[Andrew Santino]

Like, I thought I was a bit. And then I was like, is this a bit inside of a bit inside? Because he's very layered. He digs down his deep.

[Carlos]

So layered. Yeah.

[Andrew Santino]

He literally flies. He looks like one a 730. He does look like a pilot.

[Carlos]

Yeah. Yeah. Does he land it su. Obviously.

[Andrew Santino]

Smooth dude.

[Carlos]

Really.

[Andrew Santino]

He does a great job, but he had tons of hours of training. He did all the training.

[Carlos]

Wow.

[Andrew Santino]

So he flies a. A comm. He has a commercial airline pilot's license. You need to watch it, man.

[Carlos]

That's incredible. I want to watch.

[Andrew Santino]

The guy's absolutely brilliant.

[Carlos]

Oh, he's so. He's top level.

[Andrew Santino]

He's. I know. Can you imagine the difference between guys like him and us? It's unbelievable.

[Carlos]

Yeah, he's at the top of, like.

[Andrew Santino]

I met another one of our.

[Carlos]

Where do you think we're bottom dwellers.

[Andrew Santino]

We're. Yeah, we're. What are the. What are the fish at the bottom? Carp. What are the bullheads? Whatever feeds on dirt? Yeah, that's us. Dirt, dust and grime.

[Carlos]

No, we're like.

[Andrew Santino]

That's us.

[Carlos]

Yeah, we are that.

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah.

[Carlos]

Yeah, that's you for sure.

[Andrew Santino]

That's me.

[Carlos]

That's for you for sure?

[Andrew Santino]

Absolutely. Me?

[Carlos]

Yeah.

[Andrew Santino]

And go with.

[Carlos]

What am I?

[Andrew Santino]

I'm the black. That's you.

[Carlos]

That's me?

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah.

[Carlos]

I don't even have the black one.

[Andrew Santino]

You're an angler fish.

[Carlos]

Oh, yeah. Where am I?

[Andrew Santino]

There you are.

[Carlos]

That's me, dude. Yeah. Yeah, for sure.

[Andrew Santino]

That is one of the ugliest fish I've ever seen.

[Carlos]

I know.

[Andrew Santino]

Your life.

[Carlos]

I know.

[Andrew Santino]

It's unbelievable. Would you eat it? Would you eat.

[Carlos]

Depends how hungry I am.

[Andrew Santino]

See, this is the thing about food. Food has to look good for me, too.

[Carlos]

I would if I was a chef. I would slice that up, dude.

[Andrew Santino]

You. I bet you can make it look nice.

[Carlos]

I would chop the nose off.

[Andrew Santino]

I did the Ice House last night with. And I went back to. Back with Arsenio. And I'm telling you, man. Still to this day, Arsenio hall is a joke writing machine. A cultural icon still up on his game. He on his aame.

[Carlos]

Not just aame, he's also kind.

[Andrew Santino]

He's the sweetest guy, man. Anybody's genuine. It's not his generation, like, right above you. His generation has a lot of. Well, he.

[Carlos]

He's three generations before me.

[Andrew Santino]

No. What do you mean? He's one class above you. You're 53. He's 68.

[Carlos]

What class are you then?

[Andrew Santino]

Two below you, pal.

[Carlos]

No, you're one below me.

[Andrew Santino]

Two.

[Carlos]

There's no way.

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah, there's people in between you and I.

[Carlos]

You're 40.

[Andrew Santino]

I'm 41. You're 53. There's.

[Carlos]

That's the same difference between me and Arsenio.

[Andrew Santino]

You're not listening. There were less comics back then, though. Classes were smaller. The people that made it back, that was the. Everyone. Everyone's nodding at me. There's way more comics now today than it was.

[Carlos]

I was around back then. There was triple the amount.

[Andrew Santino]

Not. Not.

[Carlos]

And then the comedy death.

[Andrew Santino]

Successful comedians. There's way more now than there's ever been.

[Carlos]

Oh, my God. This is the most insane thing I've ever heard.

[Andrew Santino]

There's way more comics selling tickets now on the road than there was when your generation.

[Carlos]

You.

[Andrew Santino]

You had like 10 guys selling tickets. There's like 30 people selling tickets now. Like real tickets.

[Carlos]

Eddie Murphy selling tickets.

[Andrew Santino]

Go on.

[Carlos]

Martin Lawrence selling tickets.

[Andrew Santino]

Okay.

[Carlos]

Jerry Seinfeld selling tickets.

[Andrew Santino]

Who's that?

[Carlos]

Okay, Carlin. I mean, the list goes on.

[Andrew Santino]

I'm telling you, Cosby, there's got to be more comics now than ever. Because the Internet, there's guys that we don't even know that sell out theaters that we're not even aware of because comedy is just so broad now.

[Carlos]

I would hate to be Bill Cosby's assistant.

[Andrew Santino]

I mean, imagine the errands.

[Carlos]

Go get it. Okay.

[Andrew Santino]

It's like, here. Here's that medicine.

[Carlos]

Yeah, that's what I'm saying.

[Andrew Santino]

Why so much?

[Carlos]

A lot.

[Andrew Santino]

Did you see Ricky Gervais got a star in the Hollywood Walk of Fame? And he. And he goes, I'm here next to so many legends. Michael Jackson, Bill Cosby. It was great, dude. It was great. It was a great speech, really. He's the man. He just did the Hollywood Bowl. He sold more tickets. I'm sorry, not more tickets. He had the highest grossing sale at the Hollywood bowl because his ticket prices are set differently, but he had the highest grossing Hollywood bowl sell.

[Carlos]

Wow.

[Andrew Santino]

Is that crazy?

[Carlos]

Is it crazy? He's so funny, though.

[Andrew Santino]

So famous. So funny.

[Carlos]

I love all his specials.

[Andrew Santino]

I know. I begged him to be on this show and he. I think I wrote him a DM one time and I said, would you come on Bad Friends? I'd love to have you on the podcast. And he. And he just wrote, I'm all right, mate. And I was like, great, that's good.

[Carlos]

Did he really respond?

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah, he did, yeah.

[Carlos]

You know him?

[Andrew Santino]

No. Oh, he knows us.

[Carlos]

Yeah.

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah, he knows we know him. We love him. He likes us.

[Carlos]

Right here.

[Andrew Santino]

I'll try to find it.

[Carlos]

Oh, my God.

[Andrew Santino]

I try to find it.

[Carlos]

I hate. I hate rejection.

[Andrew Santino]

Oh, right. He just wrote cheers.

[Carlos]

Oh, cheer. That's good.

[Andrew Santino]

No, it's nice.

[Carlos]

Cheers is. Yes.

[Andrew Santino]

No, I don't think so.

[Carlos]

Yeah. Cheers. Cheers.

[Andrew Santino]

You know what cheers is? Cheers is the British thumbs up to a text. When you just get like a thumbs up, it's like saying, yeah, sure, whatever.

[Carlos]

No, Liverpool 1. Cheers.

[Andrew Santino]

Cheers. Cheers, mate. Yeah, but Liverpool won. Cheers. That's a different Cheers. That's. Yes, but otherwise, like this, say, have a good day to me.

[Carlos]

Go give us something else. Huh? I stubbed my toe.

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah. Cheers. It's applicable for everything.

[Carlos]

Right.

[Andrew Santino]

It's kind of like our what's up?

[Carlos]

This Jamba Juice line is too long.

[Andrew Santino]

Oh, yeah, it is.

[Carlos]

I see.

[Andrew Santino]

Because you could be annoyed.

[Carlos]

I understand it. I understand.

[Andrew Santino]

Are you getting geared up and excited for London and Dublin? I'm actually so excited to go over there.

[Carlos]

Yeah. Cheers. Cheers. Cheer. Cheers. Cheers. Cheers. Yeah.

[Andrew Santino]

So on this show, yeah, what we do is we banter about stuff. And what I do is I find ways to, like, lead us down new conversations.

[Carlos]

It's so. It's so funny what you're Doing right now? Because a lot. A lot of times you don't agree. Last episode, you didn't agree. Well, when you negate it.

[Andrew Santino]

When you.

[Carlos]

So I just negated you. And don't ever talk to me like that, son.

[Andrew Santino]

I'll talk to you how I want.

[Carlos]

All right? You're one generation below me.

[Andrew Santino]

Two.

[Carlos]

No, dude.

[Andrew Santino]

Listen, old man. Yeah, I'm two below you, pal.

[Carlos]

You look older than me. Okay, let me just say this, okay? If no one knew who we were and we lined us up right, and go, how old are these guys? We'd be the same age.

[Andrew Santino]

That's not true.

[Carlos]

Yeah, and that's the sad part.

[Andrew Santino]

I mean, they do that to be nice to you, cuz you're portly. They do that to portly guys to be nice. Anytime you see a portly guy, you're like, you. You. You look young.

[Carlos]

Okay, I'm not portly anymore.

[Andrew Santino]

It stays with you.

[Carlos]

Do I still look portly?

[Andrew Santino]

What?

[Carlos]

Carlos. What? You look great. I look portly. Be honest. You're like. You're 70% there.

[Andrew Santino]

You're skinny fat. You're skinny fat because your body is skinnier, but they're still fat.

[Carlos]

I know.

[Andrew Santino]

It's the level of health.

[Carlos]

I looked in my mirror today. Oh, no.

[Andrew Santino]

Change your diet. Stop eating trash. I know you're eating trash. What'd you have for breakfast?

[Carlos]

Nothing. That's not trash.

[Andrew Santino]

That's not good.

[Carlos]

That's not bad either. Nothing.

[Andrew Santino]

Or would you have for lunch?

[Carlos]

I didn't eat anything yet.

[Andrew Santino]

Okay, this is bad.

[Carlos]

Yeah, you're.

[Andrew Santino]

And by the. There's got to be something else. It's not intermittent fasting. You're intermittent.

[Carlos]

I woke up at three. What can you eat from three to four? I raced over here. I had to do things and then come over here.

[Andrew Santino]

What did you have to do?

[Carlos]

I had to look at my body in the mirror. Oh, my God. I'm portly.

[Andrew Santino]

You're not poorly.

[Carlos]

Yeah.

[Andrew Santino]

You actually look better than you've ever looked. I'm shocked.

[Carlos]

What the. What? Would you say that even out loud?

[Andrew Santino]

You got me all paranoid Comedy show.

[Carlos]

Yeah. Yeah. Oh. Oh. You know what, dude? I'm tired of you lecturing me about comedy. Dude. Okay, say that again.

[Andrew Santino]

Why don't you. Why don't you lecture me about.

[Carlos]

Just say you're excited about London. Start there.

[Andrew Santino]

Man. I'm so excited to go to London.

[Carlos]

Me too. Oh, my God. Cheers. My God. What are we gonna do? We're gonna get some crumpets.

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah, we'll get some crumpets.

[Carlos]

Yeah, Yeah.

[Andrew Santino]

I watched a clip the other day.

[Carlos]

You know what I would see? A nutcracker. Are there nutcrackers out there?

[Andrew Santino]

Oh, they got them.

[Carlos]

Okay, good.

[Andrew Santino]

I watched a clip of a bunch of what I assume to be female footballers and they were asking them what their favorite biscuits are. Now, biscuits here, different story. Biscuits. There are cookies. Right?

[Carlos]

Yeah.

[Andrew Santino]

This is. This is interesting. Look this up. Look it up. I don't know, it's a team. It was like a TikTok, but they're right. They're like about to go on a bus. But the point, my point is, look this. They all said the same thing. They all said chocolate digestives. That's the name of a cookie.

[Carlos]

Oh, yeah, I've had those. But they're so good, Right?

[Andrew Santino]

The name Digestive is so off putting.

[Carlos]

Have you noticed, though, it does digest better.

[Andrew Santino]

It does. It goes right in and out.

[Carlos]

Yeah.

[Andrew Santino]

Chocolate digestives.

[Carlos]

Yeah.

[Andrew Santino]

Milk Ch.

[Carlos]

It's a weird name.

[Andrew Santino]

Everything about this place is goofy.

[Carlos]

Zoom in.

[Andrew Santino]

Look at that. 266 grams of chocolate digestives.

[Carlos]

Yeah. Wow.

[Andrew Santino]

Be normal. Look at the name of the company. McVicties.

[Carlos]

Yeah, yeah.

[Andrew Santino]

All right. Get some McVicties there. These guys are cartoon characters, right? Like, they haven't caught up. Look at that, though.

[Carlos]

It.

[Andrew Santino]

They are very good.

[Carlos]

I mean, you know my favorite, the Candy Anastasia.

[Andrew Santino]

A Candy Anastasia?

[Carlos]

Yeah. Would you like a Candy Anastasia?

[Andrew Santino]

Yes, please. With a glass of warm cupulosu. Yeah, there it is. McVichty's Digestive Milk Chocolate flavor coating waffles. I mean, it's insane.

[Carlos]

It's crazy.

[Andrew Santino]

Since 1839.

[Carlos]

It's very Japanese, actually.

[Andrew Santino]

It is quite Japanese, right? It is. That's also that. That is exactly what Japan. What are they called? Japan. People do.

[Carlos]

So what I'm going to say to you is, is that let's start over.

[Andrew Santino]

Start over.

[Carlos]

Don't be negative. Yeah.

[Andrew Santino]

Be positive.

[Carlos]

Yeah, yeah. Because since we've been here, you've called me portly, right?

[Andrew Santino]

I did.

[Carlos]

Since we've been here.

[Andrew Santino]

I take it back. You do take it back. Okay, I just took it back.

[Carlos]

You see that? I negate jokes.

[Andrew Santino]

Careful with that word.

[Carlos]

Yeah, yeah. Why?

[Andrew Santino]

So you saw. Am I what? Do you see Mission Impossible?

[Carlos]

No, I.

[Andrew Santino]

We. Let's go see it together tonight. You want to see it tonight? Yeah, I have tonight, but it's got to be IMAX.

[Carlos]

Let's IMAX it tonight.

[Andrew Santino]

But there's only four IMAXes in LA.

[Carlos]

Let's go tonight. It's the only night I can do it because I go to Hawaii Wednesday let's do it.

[Andrew Santino]

Okay.

[Carlos]

Okay. Tonight.

[Andrew Santino]

I've heard it's dinner and. And dinner and imac.

[Carlos]

Imac.

[Andrew Santino]

I heard it's not that good. Yeah, I've heard a lot of difference. Oh, you didn't like it? You saw it?

[Carlos]

I saw it. I think it's pretty good. But the first. The first hour is flashbacks of the previous movies. And I'm a fan. I've seen every single one, so that'll be very nostalgic for me.

[Andrew Santino]

I haven't missed one.

[Carlos]

It's White Girl. That's never seen it before. Like, what the is going on? You know, I mean. I mean, that's not as, you know. I mean, HD as you know.

[Andrew Santino]

You know, I mean, is that going to be in. Is that going to be. Their promo is like, don't bring a white girl.

[Carlos]

Yeah.

[Andrew Santino]

Mission Impossible. Don't bring a white girl.

[Carlos]

Yeah.

[Andrew Santino]

I can't. I can't wait to see it because it's his last one.

[Carlos]

I hate romantic movies. Anyway, I saw it last night because people on Tick Tock.

[Andrew Santino]

You saw what last night?

[Carlos]

Taken.

[Andrew Santino]

The original Taken?

[Carlos]

Yeah. I've never seen it before.

[Andrew Santino]

Oh, my God, it's such a good movie.

[Carlos]

I hated it.

[Andrew Santino]

What? That movie's so good.

[Carlos]

It's after you see all the Equalizers and John Wick and you go back to see Taken, right? It's like, what is this bullshit?

[Andrew Santino]

This is the problem.

[Carlos]

It doesn't make any sense.

[Andrew Santino]

Well, because it's old, dude. The movie came out of such a long time ago. It's not gonna stand the test of time because there's so many better versions.

[Carlos]

You go to Paris and all of a sudden there's a guy that, like, puts you into fucking human trafficking. That's fucking. That's never happened.

[Andrew Santino]

I know, but what. That's happening right now all the time at la.

[Carlos]

Twice. At la?

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah. You've been kidnapped twice.

[Carlos]

And I've come back every time, though.

[Andrew Santino]

You have.

[Carlos]

Without a fucking father who's part of the CIA or whatever, you know, back of my son. Yeah. I crawl through the mud.

[Andrew Santino]

I will kill you.

[Carlos]

Right, Listen closely.

[Andrew Santino]

If you have Bobby, I will find you. I will kill you, dude. The Asian version of Taken would be so funny.

[Carlos]

So funny, dude.

[Andrew Santino]

But they would turn him in right away.

[Carlos]

Yeah.

[Andrew Santino]

Can you imagine how quickly they. If he was ever caped, captured, how quickly would they give him back?

[Carlos]

If I was in the story, if I was in the story and my dad went to the one of the brothel, I would have been like, leave me.

[Andrew Santino]

Leave me.

[Carlos]

Here they have opium, right? Right. And I'm fucking a lot. You know what I mean?

[Andrew Santino]

Leave me here, Papa.

[Carlos]

I would. I would stay there.

[Andrew Santino]

So you're telling me that MI is not gonna be worth it to go see?

[Carlos]

It's worth it. It's worth it.

[Andrew Santino]

It's his last movie.

[Carlos]

Yeah.

[Andrew Santino]

In this vein, yeah. What are we gonna do without Tom Cruise? I'm not even kidding. What are we gonna do?

[Carlos]

He just did a movie with Ariana Ratto. What's his name? Did he do that?

[Andrew Santino]

Don't ever do that again.

[Carlos]

Yeah, don't ever do that.

[Andrew Santino]

Pissed me right off.

[Carlos]

That pissed me off. Number one, he's doing. He already did that film that's in the can, right? He's thinking about it, doing another Maverick.

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah, I know, but this is something. Mi is so special. There's something about it. It's like Bond. It's special.

[Carlos]

It is pretty special. The first one was so good.

[Andrew Santino]

So unbelievably good. Yeah, I've seen it maybe a thousand.

[Carlos]

Me too. It's my go to movie to be relaxed. What's that song? Oh, Hot Betty Band. The band. Oh, that's what you look like, McConnell. Yeah. Oh, yeah, back. Oh, Black Betty. Banga Bang. Oh, Black Betty. Yeah. Look at that. That's yuk. McConnell. Oh, what's going on here?

[Andrew Santino]

That looks like you doing an impression of me. That face he's making.

[Carlos]

But is that the look you're going for?

[Andrew Santino]

It is like long hair. I mean, I like a 70s vibe.

[Carlos]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I think that's what it is.

[Andrew Santino]

Talking to the mic. Why is the mic so low? I can't hear anybody today. You like a 70s vibe.

[Carlos]

Complaining about all the time. I.

[Andrew Santino]

Have you seen him today?

[Carlos]

Everything.

[Andrew Santino]

Oh, you know what it is? I'm anxious.

[Carlos]

Okay, let's talk about it.

[Andrew Santino]

Well, I'm leaving tomorrow for two weeks. And I'm like. I'm. I'm all. Every time. I gotta go pack in the suitcase and my dog sits and she cries by the suitcase.

[Carlos]

No, she sits and she.

[Andrew Santino]

She literally puts her head next to and goes, oh, no, I hate it so much. I hate suitcases. When I roll it out of the closet, immediately she goes. She takes a breath.

[Carlos]

Oh, my God. She knows when you're gone, dude, It's.

[Andrew Santino]

It's awful. Not only does she know when I'm gone, this is something. And look, I know I'm being a dumb dog guy right now.

[Carlos]

Yeah.

[Andrew Santino]

She has no idea when the I'm coming back. Right. She has no clue. Right for some reason, the energy probably conveyed by my wife in the house or something.

[Carlos]

Yeah.

[Andrew Santino]

She will just sit by the front window that day and wait for me to come home. Oh, it's like she. I swear to God, it's so stupid. I know I'm being annoying, but, like, it's one of those things where she won't do that any other day that I'm gone, but the day that I'm coming back. It's not like she. How would she know? She will sit by the front window.

[Carlos]

Wow.

[Andrew Santino]

It's creepy. Their intuition is.

[Carlos]

You know what my dogs do when I'm leaving?

[Andrew Santino]

What? All over the house.

[Carlos]

No. I go. I'm leaving. They go. They go. Yeah. And they just. They walk away. They don't give a.

[Andrew Santino]

That's because you have too many foreigners coming and going in your home.

[Carlos]

I have three foreigners in my house.

[Andrew Santino]

Gotta get rid of those.

[Carlos]

Yeah, I know. Wait, maybe it's the foreigners. Them up.

[Andrew Santino]

They are. They're manipulating.

[Carlos]

I have seven animals. No one gives a shit. And when I come back, they're like, oh, you again.

[Andrew Santino]

You. Is this you? Is this your place?

[Carlos]

Yeah. I honestly believe my cat Bojo doesn't even know who I am.

[Andrew Santino]

No way.

[Carlos]

You.

[Andrew Santino]

Bojo loves you.

[Carlos]

No. Every morning I go, good morning, Bojo. And he. Where am I?

[Andrew Santino]

Maybe he has Alzheimer's.

[Carlos]

I know he's always been like that. I've raised him since a kitten.

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah.

[Carlos]

Every time. Every morning he pretends like, what's going on?

[Andrew Santino]

Do cats get dementia and Alzheimer's? Do they?

[Carlos]

He's six years old.

[Andrew Santino]

It starts early.

[Carlos]

Oh, yes.

[Andrew Santino]

Cats can develop a form of dementia called feline cognitive dysfunction, similar to cognitive decline seen in humans above 52 to 53 years old, especially those that are Korean.

[Carlos]

No, that doesn't say that.

[Andrew Santino]

It says that right there.

[Carlos]

No, it doesn't say Korean, man.

[Andrew Santino]

Wow. Cats with dementia. Dogs don't get it, though, right? Please tell me dogs don't get it.

[Carlos]

Do dog. They have to get it.

[Andrew Santino]

I don't know. Yeah, dogs can get it. Canine cognitive dysfunction.

[Carlos]

Yeah.

[Andrew Santino]

Come. Max doesn't know, isn't it? By the way, look at this. This is. This is what all your animals do. Signs of dementia, not responding when called to forgetting house training. Yeah, Your dog's pissing all.

[Carlos]

Yeah, yeah.

[Andrew Santino]

This is all.

[Carlos]

You're lucky on me.

[Andrew Santino]

Do they have any play? Do they have enthusiasm to play or. No, no. By the way, getting stuck in corners. The saddest. They have that thing. A dog stuck in a corner.

[Carlos]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Andrew Santino]

Oh, my Nobody puts puppy in a corner.

[Carlos]

Well, when cats are about to die, you know what they do? They disappear.

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah. Well, dude, that's like a nobility thing. They don't want. They don't want you to see them die.

[Carlos]

Yeah.

[Andrew Santino]

That's kind of rad.

[Carlos]

It is not.

[Andrew Santino]

Dogs are like, look at me. I'm dying. Look at me. By the way, I saw a cat fight on a walk the other night. Two cats in the neighborhood. There's one. My neighbor has an outdoor cat. You know, he just roams around and comes and goes as he pleases.

[Carlos]

Yeah.

[Andrew Santino]

And I was walking, and he was on the street over, and I was like, oh, what are you doing over here? And he, like, looked at me, and then he slowly turned and. And I saw there was another cat underneath the car tire.

[Carlos]

Yeah.

[Andrew Santino]

I was like, oh, is this his enemy, dude?

[Carlos]

Yeah.

[Andrew Santino]

And he was slowly creeping up to him, and I love it. And I'm encouraging. I was like, get him. Cat fights are so fun to watch, dude. They beat the out of each other.

[Carlos]

Yeah.

[Andrew Santino]

Because the paw can go up. When the paw goes up and they start smacking each other in the head. What is that, dude?

[Carlos]

Coyote killing a cat. Oh, my God.

[Andrew Santino]

Carlos. God damn it, Carlos.

[Carlos]

They're be. They're in my backyard. I can hear them. You need to be careful. I know. I have a fence, but still.

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah, you do. I gotta be.

[Carlos]

I hear them, you know?

[Andrew Santino]

Got a coyote.

[Carlos]

Yeah. They talk, dude.

[Andrew Santino]

That's how they talk.

[Carlos]

They talk that. What, Asian? They're not Asian. Coyote. You. What's going on today, man?

[Andrew Santino]

What is going.

[Carlos]

It was everything Asian today.

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah. Let's cut this out.

[Carlos]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Andrew Santino]

I'm sick of this. Sick of this, sick of this.

[Carlos]

Yeah. But the thing is, is that. Will you cry when your dog dies?

[Andrew Santino]

Why are we doing this?

[Carlos]

Who would you though?

[Andrew Santino]

It'll be the saddest day of my life.

[Carlos]

That's what you get. I get more.

[Andrew Santino]

I know, but if I get more than. Then more of them die.

[Carlos]

I know, but the less you feel.

[Andrew Santino]

No, I don't think so. I think.

[Carlos]

I think so.

[Andrew Santino]

You probably feel even more.

[Carlos]

I think so, too.

[Andrew Santino]

Like, we had. We have in our family, extended family member. They had. They did it smart. They had. The dogs have puppies. So when the older ones died, then the next one that had puppies, so they had. They still had the same, like, generation. They had, like, four generations of the same family.

[Carlos]

Oh, my God.

[Andrew Santino]

I thought that was rad.

[Carlos]

That's rad.

[Andrew Santino]

I was like, we should have done that, but we Snipped her too early.

[Carlos]

I have a dog that's 17. Blind, crooked spine. Remy is 17. Yeah. Blind crooked spine. You know what I mean? Good morning, Remy.

[Andrew Santino]

Like, crooked spine?

[Carlos]

Yeah, crooked spine. About to die at any second.

[Andrew Santino]

I want to ask you a real question. Do you take your dogs? And I know the answer. Have you ever taken your dogs to the dentist? No, dude, never.

[Carlos]

Can I go first?

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah, you gotta go.

[Carlos]

Yeah. Why?

[Andrew Santino]

Because it can. You can cause brain damage from not having your teeth, bro.

[Carlos]

I have so many techniques at home. You have no idea.

[Andrew Santino]

To cleaning your teeth?

[Carlos]

Yeah, I don't want to reveal certain things, but reveal. Okay.

[Andrew Santino]

Do you water pick?

[Carlos]

What?

[Andrew Santino]

Do you water pick?

[Carlos]

So I'll tell you what happened. I don't. I have a toothbrush that shoots water into my mouth.

[Andrew Santino]

That's a water pick.

[Carlos]

I have one.

[Andrew Santino]

Okay.

[Carlos]

Yeah, yeah. So I bought on TikTok, you know, I mean, one of those mouthpieces.

[Andrew Santino]

I was going to buy that.

[Carlos]

It doesn't work.

[Andrew Santino]

Of course not.

[Carlos]

Yeah, yeah. So I bought one. But what you have to do is you have to heat it in water.

[Andrew Santino]

No, no, really, I'm not doing that.

[Carlos]

All right.

[Andrew Santino]

Before I brush my teeth.

[Carlos]

No, to have it formed to your teeth, this mouthpiece, you boil it and then you chomp down on it. So it's like a mouth, like a mouth guard. Right. But what happened, it pushed this tooth into my gums, right? And then I had a fucking boil above on the gum that was like gigantic.

[Andrew Santino]

Like a canker sore.

[Carlos]

It was bigger than that. Like I couldn't chew on this side. Right. This happened for months.

[Andrew Santino]

Months.

[Carlos]

Yeah. Yeah. And I thought. I literally thought I had mouth cancer. Like I'm dying, but I'm not gonna. I'm not gonna go to the dentist because I already know I'm gonna die. You know what I mean?

[Andrew Santino]

You're not gonna die.

[Carlos]

So what happened was I went. Got a bunch of. Two gigantic bottles of hydrogen peroxide.

[Andrew Santino]

Oh, that works. I use that a lot.

[Carlos]

And it's no longer there, baby.

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah, hp.

[Carlos]

So I have my own systems at home.

[Andrew Santino]

You do?

[Carlos]

Yeah, yeah.

[Andrew Santino]

Simply save.

[Carlos]

Oh, I'm scared.

[Andrew Santino]

I'm scared too.

[Carlos]

What do we do?

[Andrew Santino]

I don't know. But what is safe at home mean to you? For a long time, we thought it was enough to have good locks, maybe alarm, you know, make some noise if someone broke in. But after people we know, we're broken into, we've realized security takes a little bit more system that works to prevent break ins and violation of your space. From that Happening again in the first place. That's why we trust Simply Safe to protect our home and family.

[Carlos]

You got one right.

[Andrew Santino]

I do?

[Carlos]

Yeah. How does it feel at night?

[Andrew Santino]

It's phenomenal. I feel very safe. And by the way, Simplisafe does the extra work that other security systems just don't do. These are AI powered cameras and live monitoring agents that detect suspicious activity around your property.

[Carlos]

If someone's lurking, agents, talk to them in real time, turn on spotlights and can call the police. Proactively deterring crime before it even starts.

[Andrew Santino]

Put your hands up, but don't think about breaking in that door. No contracts, no hidden fees. Named best home security system of 2025 by CNET. That's a big deal. By the way, I do love going to Zenet articles seeing who they rank. Four million plus Americans trust Simply Safe, including myself. They're ranked number one in customer service by Newsweek and USA Today. These monitoring plans start around $1 a day and you got a 60 day money back guarantee. How do they get it?

[Carlos]

Visit simply safe.combadfinders to claim 50% off a new system with a professional monitoring plan and getting your first month free.

[Andrew Santino]

That's simply safe.com bad friends simplisafe.com bad friends There is no safe like Simply Safe.

[Carlos]

If you run an e commerce business. You know packages don't arrive by magic, but sure feel like it if you use ShipStation.

[Andrew Santino]

And that's right because last year alone over 700 million orders were fulfilled with Shipstation. That's a lot. I think some of our merch was on there. We use Shipstation, thankful for them because that's how we get our stuff to you.

[Carlos]

And with Shipstation you can sync orders from everywhere you sell into one dashboard and replace manual tasks with custom automations to reduce shipping errors at all at a fraction of the cost.

[Andrew Santino]

It's the fastest, most affordable way to ship products to your customers no matter what you're selling or what you're doing. They got discounts up to 88% off UPS, DHL Express and USPS rates and up to 90% off FedEx rates. That's saving you so much money if you're selling something out of your garage or your house or whatever, your small business, your little studio. Shipstation has got you covered.

[Carlos]

Over 130,000 companies have grown their e commerce business with ShipStation. And 98% of companies that stick with Shipstation for a year become customers for life.

[Andrew Santino]

Whoa, I just saw this. During this time of this spot, another 1400 packages were shipped with the help of Shipstation. Wow. Upgrade to a smoother shipping experience. Go to shipstation.combadfriends to sign up for your free trial.

[Carlos]

No credit card or contract required and you can Cancel Anytime.

[Andrew Santino]

That's shipstation.com Bad Friends Quint.

[Carlos]

Oh my God. During the summer heat, I wear quints.

[Andrew Santino]

You got to wear quince because by the way, it's getting too hot to wear uncomfortable thick, non breathable fabric.

[Carlos]

I want breathable things.

[Andrew Santino]

You got it. With Quint. They had the kind of stuff you actually wear on repeat, like breathable flow knit polos, crisp cotton shirts and comfortable lightweight pants that somehow work for both the weekend hangs and dressed up dinners.

[Carlos]

By working directly with top artisans and cutting out the middleman, Quint gives you luxury pieces without the markups.

[Andrew Santino]

We're all looking for this kind of gear, by the way. You want, you want stuff that you look good out and you want to look good. You can wear it at home, you can wear it to dinner, you can wear with your friends. And Quince only works with factories that use safe, ethical and responsible manufacturing practices and premium fabrics and finishes. So you're not getting some poor quality cheap stuff that you're going to throw away fast. It lasts.

[Carlos]

Sick to the staples. That lasts with elevated essentials from Quince.

[Andrew Santino]

Go to quince.com/bad friends for free shipping on your order and 365 day returns that all year long.

[Carlos]

That's Quince Q U I n c e.com/bad friends to get free shipping and a 365 day returns.

[Andrew Santino]

That's quince.com/bad friends. By the way, I saw this thing today. They got all this new research now about how botox that women that get Botox.

[Carlos]

Yeah.

[Andrew Santino]

They're finding studies. It's seeping into their brain.

[Carlos]

What is Botox? No.

[Andrew Santino]

So now it's going to start killing people. It's Botox. Botulism toxin potentially spread to the brain. It's rare, but it's starting. They're. They're starting to do more and more research on it.

[Carlos]

Wow.

[Andrew Santino]

And it's crazy. This doctor was like, stop getting this.

[Carlos]

What does it do when it gets to the brain?

[Andrew Santino]

So, so Botox is a thing called botulism. It's actually, it's actually a bacteria. Right it, right it, it kills the muscles in your face. That's why people with Botox look stiff as a board. It's dangerous because it can seep into your blood and into your brain. It causes brain damage. Brain's ability to interpret Emotions altering unconscious m. Mimicry of facial expressions. Neurobiology and learning and memory. Research suggests Botox have cognitive and emotional. This says, kind of emotional alleviating depression. Oh, sure. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Carlos]

Wow.

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah, sure. Yeah. Because you feel better, because you look better, but it's in your brain.

[Carlos]

What if it goes in your brain and your brain looks younger?

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah, it's smart.

[Carlos]

Yeah.

[Andrew Santino]

Takes away some of the wrinkles.

[Carlos]

Yeah, yeah.

[Andrew Santino]

That's actually a really good idea. I mean, you're stabbing your face with botulism.

[Carlos]

Yeah.

[Andrew Santino]

I mean, think how crazy that. And that's this. Everybody does this.

[Carlos]

Wow.

[Andrew Santino]

You and I should get Botox.

[Carlos]

Where do you. I've thought about it.

[Andrew Santino]

I've never thought about it.

[Carlos]

What do you want it done?

[Andrew Santino]

I don't.

[Carlos]

Okay. Well then why'd you even say that then?

[Andrew Santino]

It's for the show.

[Carlos]

All right. But now I feel like a piece of. For saying no, no. But I get it done.

[Andrew Santino]

Where would you get it done?

[Carlos]

My whole face and my arm.

[Andrew Santino]

You don't have any wrinkles, bud. You're wrinkleless.

[Carlos]

Well, then why would you. Oh, like that.

[Andrew Santino]

There you go.

[Carlos]

Yeah, yeah.

[Andrew Santino]

My 57 year old sister got a full facelift. Look at her look. She looks great. Yeah, she looks fancy.

[Carlos]

She looks like remy.

[Andrew Santino]

That's your 17 year old spine crooked dog.

[Carlos]

Yeah, yeah. You don't look good.

[Andrew Santino]

How do I look? Yeah, I look good. She looks like she's wearing a mask.

[Carlos]

Yeah.

[Andrew Santino]

Hannibal Lecter when he put the other face. Yes. This is what we're turning into now.

[Carlos]

Oh my God.

[Andrew Santino]

Just get old. Look old. I'm going to Washington D.C. tomorrow. Really, really excited. I get to walk in the streets by our President. I'm going to the White House, baby. I got. I got invited.

[Carlos]

Yeah, Great. Wow.

[Andrew Santino]

I got invited to the White House and I'm going to go over there and hang with my dog.

[Carlos]

Who's your dog? JD Van the ho Y. What? I wonder what he's like.

[Andrew Santino]

Jd?

[Carlos]

Yeah. Hanging out with.

[Andrew Santino]

I mean, fun.

[Carlos]

So much fun.

[Andrew Santino]

Fun? You think he's fun?

[Carlos]

His Indian wife's sexy.

[Andrew Santino]

He has an Indian wife?

[Carlos]

Yeah.

[Andrew Santino]

I know nothing about anything. I'm so stupid. You've never been to India. Would you ever go in?

[Carlos]

What? How much money do I get? I would. I mean, I would go with you for like a bit.

[Andrew Santino]

A gig?

[Carlos]

Yeah. No, like a video.

[Andrew Santino]

How to film it.

[Carlos]

Yeah.

[Andrew Santino]

But do you know what? You know what? And they're vegetarian a lot. Most people are vegetarian. Yeah, yeah, they are.

[Carlos]

They really are.

[Andrew Santino]

No, seriously.

[Carlos]

Well, the Cow's not good.

[Andrew Santino]

Sacred dog.

[Carlos]

You can't do it.

[Andrew Santino]

Can't eat the cow.

[Carlos]

Yeah.

[Andrew Santino]

No.

[Carlos]

In fact, the. The McDonald's there doesn't have like. Like burgers.

[Andrew Santino]

No. Look at that.

[Carlos]

Only have chicken.

[Andrew Santino]

Okay. 39. So just under half.

[Carlos]

That's a lot.

[Andrew Santino]

That means approximately 39. Over 100 Indians don't consume meat. That's a lot of.

[Carlos]

That's a lot of.

[Andrew Santino]

How many vegetarians in the United States? Six percent.

[Carlos]

Nobody. Wow. Wow.

[Andrew Santino]

Would you ever switch?

[Carlos]

I think I've been thinking about it.

[Andrew Santino]

I've tried so many times. I can't do it. Every time I do it, I get really depressed. I can't function.

[Carlos]

Really. When you go to a restaurant like Crossroads. Have you been there on Melrose?

[Andrew Santino]

Oh, yeah. I got. Neil took me there.

[Carlos]

Yeah. Yeah, it's. I've been there.

[Andrew Santino]

Phenomenal.

[Carlos]

It's phenomenal.

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah.

[Carlos]

So I could do that every meeting.

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah. But then you got to eat high end. So this is the difference. This is a problem. Are you eating a five star vegetarian restaurant every day? No. A lot of times you're gonna have to eat at home.

[Carlos]

That's right. Yeah.

[Andrew Santino]

What am I. You know?

[Carlos]

I don't even know what to do. Let's. Let me see. I can get bread.

[Andrew Santino]

Got you. Check.

[Carlos]

Yeah. Avocados.

[Andrew Santino]

Check. Check this out.

[Carlos]

Bok choy. I don't know.

[Andrew Santino]

Check this out. Look at this. Check this out.

[Carlos]

What?

[Andrew Santino]

Anything but meat.

[Carlos]

Okay. But I had to rattle through all of them.

[Andrew Santino]

I know. He's like his apples, meat.

[Carlos]

Yeah. Our parrot can even have eggs. Right.

[Andrew Santino]

That's if you're vegan.

[Carlos]

Oh, but you could have eggs. That's a good thing.

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah. Most vegetarians eat eggs a lot.

[Carlos]

Yeah.

[Andrew Santino]

Fish, that's pescatarian.

[Carlos]

Okay, but let's be pescatarians then.

[Andrew Santino]

I mean, I be honest with you. I eat a lot of sushi and fish and then. So I do do that. I could do that.

[Carlos]

But do they have feeling fish? Yeah. Like when you stab them. You know what I mean? Do they go, ow?

[Andrew Santino]

Okay, how about this? I feel bad if they look cute, right?

[Carlos]

Like a clownfish you would never eat. There's no way. No. Saw those whole.

[Andrew Santino]

Right.

[Carlos]

Just right from the lake.

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah. They're like. If you. I can't. I can't eat Nemo.

[Carlos]

Yeah. No way. Would you eat that?

[Andrew Santino]

No, I can't. Too cute. Yeah, that's cute in a weird, ugly way.

[Carlos]

Yeah. But it's also.

[Andrew Santino]

But look up tuna. Look up tuna fish. Look at how fucking unattractive these Things are.

[Carlos]

Yeah.

[Andrew Santino]

Look at that big dumb idiot. I'm eating that moron. Yeah, that's a cow with a sea.

[Carlos]

Those are, like white walkers of the sea, dude. They look dead.

[Andrew Santino]

I mean, they look. They Lou. Look dead. They look dead in the eyes.

[Carlos]

Yeah, they look dead in the eyes. Yeah, like sharks.

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah, we're eating the blubber fish. I mean that all day.

[Carlos]

Going back to that dude. Get the fuck out of there. Typed in ugliest fish. Yeah. Yeah.

[Andrew Santino]

All right, well, let's do this. You want to feel good? Do you want to feel good? We got a bunch of submissions for Carlos replacement, because, you know, you wanted him fired, like, 10 times.

[Carlos]

Yeah, the Trump thing. We know Andrew's going, but. Okay.

[Andrew Santino]

What do you mean? I'm going. I didn't trick him into an invite. I'm actually going because Trump invited me. I mean, J.D. invited me. My dog.

[Carlos]

I know. I think it's more like jealousy of things like that that it's getting me fired.

[Andrew Santino]

I don't think so. I think you're getting fired because of your behavior. Yeah. I'm sorry, Bob. All right, let me see these submission videos. Let's see what we got coming up. Is this really to replace Carlos for real? Do you think we have any prospects that are legit?

[Carlos]

We got some good ones.

[Andrew Santino]

Wow. I like that. Oh, this guy. I'm already in.

[Carlos]

He's already in. Start auditioning for Carlos's job. Hold up. I don't have any. Push pause. What's going on in the background?

[Andrew Santino]

Oh, there's a dead girl in the background.

[Carlos]

Dead girl in the background.

[Andrew Santino]

Wow.

[Carlos]

Wow.

[Andrew Santino]

Well, at least he's also a hoarder, right?

[Carlos]

He's super messy. This is. He's perfect.

[Andrew Santino]

This is Carlos.

[Carlos]

Yeah, yeah, go ahead.

[Andrew Santino]

It's.

[Carlos]

I do know what doses and the BIOS means, so I think I'm pretty qualified for whatever the he does. I am a single dad, unemployed right now.

[Andrew Santino]

Oh.

[Carlos]

Children of three.

[Andrew Santino]

Oh, mother just passed away, so. Damn.

[Carlos]

I think you should give me a chance. I think I might. I might help you guys out a little bit. You know what I mean? I'm not gonna go to Japan and bring you back change out of my pocket. I think I'd bring you back. Okay. Definitely some porno push pas.

[Andrew Santino]

Hold on one second.

[Carlos]

He's a raccoon.

[Andrew Santino]

He's had me and lost me about six times.

[Carlos]

I know.

[Andrew Santino]

He. He had me. He's funny. And then he lost me. And then he was like. Then he was cool again. He was like, hey, I'm a Single father. I was like, I'm in. And he's like, and the mother passed away. I'm like, I'm in. This is. And then he's like, but I'm. You know, I'm gonna. I'm not gonna bring you back stuff that you want from Japan.

[Carlos]

I'm out.

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah, I'm out. Next.

[Carlos]

Next submission.

[Andrew Santino]

Let's. What's his name?

[Carlos]

He just wrote.

[Andrew Santino]

His name was Sharkey. I gotta say, I like this guy, especially if he would be in the booth with his shirt off.

[Carlos]

Yeah, Sharky's a high contender.

[Andrew Santino]

He's up there.

[Carlos]

Yeah.

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah, he's up there for sure.

[Carlos]

You can move on.

[Andrew Santino]

Sharkey's the man. Sharkey you're. You're gunning for.

[Carlos]

I'm gonna write this down.

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah, can you write it down, please?

[Carlos]

Yeah. So I'm gonna put Sharky, what are.

[Andrew Santino]

You ranking on a scale of 8 out of 10 chances that he'll take over the job?

[Carlos]

Yeah. Hold on.

[Andrew Santino]

What are you gonna give him? A seven and a half.

[Carlos]

So, Sharky, hold on.

[Andrew Santino]

How do we get one fly in here?

[Carlos]

I don't know. I hate it. Why is he omni on your wrist? What would you.

[Andrew Santino]

Sharky. Seven and a half out of ten to me.

[Carlos]

Okay, let's do halves. Let's do seven.

[Andrew Santino]

All right. Seven out of ten.

[Carlos]

Okay. All right, go ahead.

[Andrew Santino]

Who's this?

[Carlos]

We got Matthew Roman.

[Andrew Santino]

Full name. Oh, look at this.

[Carlos]

Hey, Carlos. Just finished the latest episode of Bad Friends. Saw your job was up for grab.

[Andrew Santino]

So I want to make sure I.

[Carlos]

Got my application early. That's for my qualifications. I'm not sure what a producer of a podcast does, but I am standing in a window. I'm pretty good. Laughing at other people's jokes. I can't laugh on command, sadly. Hopefully in the future, maybe I can. I can show you more of my laugh and how good it is. Push pause. We have to do it. DEI with the dei.

[Andrew Santino]

Is that his nickname?

[Carlos]

I mean, he is mixed.

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah. Mix.

[Carlos]

Yeah, he's cute.

[Andrew Santino]

Well, I like that. We don't know what kind of mix he is. That's my favorite.

[Carlos]

But his lip proportions are perfect.

[Andrew Santino]

Okay, Yeah, I agree. For kissing. No, we must kiss our producers.

[Carlos]

Okay. That's right.

[Andrew Santino]

That's a part of the job.

[Carlos]

Yeah. His lips are good. All right, I'm gonna give him a nine.

[Andrew Santino]

Roman's gonna get an eight.

[Carlos]

Okay, an eight.

[Andrew Santino]

That's insane to go nine.

[Carlos]

Okay, go ahead. Next one. This is Mackenzie McNulty. Hold on. McKenzie.

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah, maybe we do need a girl. In here.

[Carlos]

Hey, guys.

[Andrew Santino]

Mackenzie here.

[Carlos]

I am from right outside of Philadelphia.

[Andrew Santino]

So I'm a Philly girl. Oh, yeah. Which I think is what you guys need.

[Carlos]

I think you guys need a little bit more feminine energy up in that joint. Jules ain't always there. There's too many men. That's the problem.

[Bobby Lee]

There's too many men in there, and.

[Carlos]

You have nothing to break up the monotony.

[Andrew Santino]

I get it. All right, second off, Carlos, leave the. Leave Bobby the alone. Wow.

[Carlos]

Dude, she's a 10.

[Andrew Santino]

What I think needs to happen here is I think some of you guys just need to be smacked up a little bit. Oh, wow.

[Carlos]

Oh, here we go. She's aggressive. From Philadelphia. I'm half hard. Is that weird?

[Andrew Santino]

Oh, yeah.

[Carlos]

Okay. Why can't I say that?

[Bobby Lee]

Handle some for you?

[Andrew Santino]

I will handle it with a smile on my face. Okay. But in all reality, you know, thank you guys for everything that you do. You definitely get my work week going.

[Carlos]

Okay, push pause.

[Andrew Santino]

So that's a nine.

[Carlos]

That's a nine.

[Andrew Santino]

That's the difference. She's a nine. And let me say. It's Mackenzie. Yeah, Mackenzie.

[Carlos]

Yeah.

[Andrew Santino]

Multiple levels of great. She said leave. Leave you alone. She'd call out Carlos for his.

[Carlos]

Right, right.

[Andrew Santino]

Then she said she'll smack up some people if we need it. She does look tough.

[Carlos]

Yeah.

[Andrew Santino]

Okay.

[Carlos]

Yeah.

[Andrew Santino]

And then on top of it, she's recording this while she's driving, presumably with kids in the car or something.

[Carlos]

So good.

[Andrew Santino]

So it's taking on danger. I like all this. And it's in the rain, no less.

[Carlos]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Andrew Santino]

So she's. This is very dangerous.

[Carlos]

Okay. I'm influenced by you.

[Andrew Santino]

So nine.

[Carlos]

Net nine. I put it nine.

[Andrew Santino]

She's up there.

[Carlos]

Hey, bad friends. Hey, Andrew. Hey, Bobby. Where? He's out.

[Andrew Santino]

You don't like it? He said hi.

[Carlos]

I don't like the hi.

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah.

[Carlos]

Hey.

[Andrew Santino]

You don't like. He said hi.

[Carlos]

Andrew first that already every day we do a podcast.

[Andrew Santino]

Hey, Bobby, give him a chance.

[Carlos]

Okay, Go ahead.

[Andrew Santino]

This is my application to replace Carlos on the show.

[Carlos]

I feel like I meet the only two requirements that are needed to be in the role, which are being good at googling things, or, I guess, being okay at googling things and being Mexican. I also don't do drugs, so I have that as an added bonus. You know, if I were to pee in a cup for you guys.

[Andrew Santino]

You'D.

[Carlos]

Probably be able to drink it, unlike with Carlos. You know, you'd probably, like, die and, like, six days. I'm also a big fan of soccer So I have that in common with Bobby. Although I'm not going to say what team I support just because I think he wouldn't approve.

[Andrew Santino]

He's out.

[Carlos]

He's out.

[Andrew Santino]

He's a man. You guy. But here's, here's, here's like him.

[Carlos]

Here's the thing. He's a seven, but he's Mexican. What's his name? Jordy. Here's the thing about him that would have made that he. If he zoomed out and he was naked from the bottom down.

[Andrew Santino]

So funny.

[Carlos]

Would have been so funny.

[Andrew Santino]

I would have loved it. Let's see. Maybe just in case.

[Carlos]

No, no, no. 7. This is Ethan Vo. What's up, Andres? My name is Ethan. I live in Orange county, close California, and I'm auditioning for Carlos's job. I'm sober. I don't do anything. I can stand there and not say anything.

[Andrew Santino]

I like him.

[Carlos]

I'm fans of Bobby and Andrew. I'm seeing Bobby in Brea coming up in June. I cancel. Cancel that. Yeah, I'm excited to cancel that game. Carlos. I can drive up to LA and that's pretty much it.

[Andrew Santino]

I love this guy. He's. I love him precise. And let me say why. He's quick to it.

[Carlos]

Yeah, he's.

[Andrew Santino]

He's good looking.

[Carlos]

Yeah.

[Andrew Santino]

And also go back to about two seconds. One of my favorite things, he strokes a beard that isn't there. Watch this, watch this.

[Carlos]

Oh, yeah, yeah. Ethan. I live in Orange County, California and I'm auditioning for Carlos's job.

[Andrew Santino]

Ready?

[Carlos]

Yeah, I can.

[Andrew Santino]

Guy strokes a beer that isn't there. Unbelievable. He's stroking a beer that isn't there. I love this guy.

[Carlos]

He's lost his mind.

[Andrew Santino]

He's a nine. Dude.

[Carlos]

Bro.

[Andrew Santino]

I love this.

[Carlos]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. He's a bro.

[Andrew Santino]

Strokes beard. Not there. That's amazing. Let me watch it again real fast just for fun. I mean, that's incredible. He did that.

[Carlos]

Yeah.

[Andrew Santino]

It's not even there.

[Carlos]

Yeah.

[Andrew Santino]

Look at this.

[Carlos]

Yeah, it's incredible.

[Andrew Santino]

I like them so much.

[Carlos]

Yeah.

[Andrew Santino]

Nine.

[Carlos]

Yeah.

[Andrew Santino]

By the way, he lives here.

[Carlos]

Yeah, we might.

[Andrew Santino]

And he's good looking.

[Carlos]

Yeah. So what, you're gonna give him a nine?

[Andrew Santino]

Absolutely.

[Carlos]

Yeah. He's great. He's also not annoying.

[Andrew Santino]

Not annoying at all.

[Carlos]

Yeah. He's just gonna be there a part of the wall.

[Andrew Santino]

That's right.

[Carlos]

Yeah. Yeah. We'll have to say that. You can't do stroke things that aren't there though. I don't like that.

[Andrew Santino]

Well, the assumption you're giving him is that he's Gonna. He's got to earn camera time. So he's gonna be in the back. Back, Right.

[Carlos]

He's a mime.

[Andrew Santino]

Oh, he's a mine.

[Carlos]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Andrew Santino]

He's like.

[Carlos]

He's gonna be back there. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I don't know, dude.

[Andrew Santino]

We'll see.

[Carlos]

Yeah.

[Andrew Santino]

Okay, who's next?

[Carlos]

This is Ernesto Gonzalez.

[Andrew Santino]

I already like him.

[Carlos]

Hey, Bobby. What's up, Andrew? Heard you guys are looking to replace some of the booth boys. You know, hopefully I could do that for you guys. Or, you know, my therapist has been saying I got some. Some anger issues. What was that?

[Andrew Santino]

Well, first of all, take whatever's out of the microwave, take it out.

[Carlos]

I know.

[Andrew Santino]

It's done.

[Carlos]

It's done.

[Andrew Santino]

It's done.

[Carlos]

Yeah, yeah.

[Andrew Santino]

But I love this guy. He's got anger issues, which I like.

[Carlos]

Yeah.

[Andrew Santino]

Because he looks big. He could be ar muscle.

[Carlos]

Yeah.

[Andrew Santino]

Unless. Because the.

[Carlos]

He could also be 5:1.

[Andrew Santino]

I know the up angle.

[Carlos]

Yeah, up angle. Yeah.

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah, you're right.

[Carlos]

So I'm observing that.

[Andrew Santino]

Let's see.

[Carlos]

I think. Although that's one last observation. I think his eyebrows are way too spread apart for me.

[Andrew Santino]

You like them closer?

[Carlos]

I want them way closer. Yeah. What do you think?

[Andrew Santino]

That's an aesthetic thing. You like?

[Carlos]

Okay. Okay.

[Andrew Santino]

You like what you like?

[Carlos]

I like what I like, dude. Yeah. Anger issues I need to find an outlet for. So maybe I could just be Bobby's henchman, maybe security guard. You know, I could really kill two chickens with one rock here, if you guys let me pause it.

[Andrew Santino]

And so it is two birds of one stone. Not in Mexico, but in Mexico. It could be different. Two chickens with one rock.

[Carlos]

Right, right. It could be different.

[Andrew Santino]

I understand. Well, look, chickens are birds, so. He did say the same thing.

[Carlos]

Yeah.

[Andrew Santino]

Okay. Keep going. I like it.

[Carlos]

Well, the booth boys, whenever they start acting out and help Bobby out at the same time, you know, My Name's Ernesto. I'm 23 years old. I am. I'm 6 4, £300. So I'm a pretty big guy. I feel like I could handle those guys, no issue. Yeah.

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah, you could.

[Carlos]

You know, and I. I never even. I'm 23. Never been pulled over before. Yeah. So I could really be, like, Bobby's, like, personal driver, even. Yeah. Turn the bike. Yeah, you're right, buddy.

[Andrew Santino]

Take it out.

[Carlos]

Take it out, dude. Yeah, yeah. Push pause for a second. All right.

[Andrew Santino]

Also, yeah, I've never been pulled over before. I don't know that has anything to do with it.

[Carlos]

Has nothing to do with it. Also, what I don't so it's a little weird is I don't even think he's from our fucking time.

[Andrew Santino]

No. Oh, he's from the future of the past.

[Carlos]

You know why? Henchman.

[Andrew Santino]

Oh, he's a henchman, right?

[Carlos]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Say bodyguard. Yeah, I mean henchman is like where would you come from guy?

[Andrew Santino]

He's another time period. He's posing as a current day guy.

[Carlos]

Yeah, smart.

[Andrew Santino]

But he's doing it right. Yeah, they built him in a good frame. Six, four, 300.

[Carlos]

What do you want to give him? I say nine.

[Andrew Santino]

I say eight or nine.

[Carlos]

Yeah, I'm going to give him nine because of my. He's going to bodyguard me.

[Andrew Santino]

I like that.

[Carlos]

Yeah, go ahead. A.J.

[Andrew Santino]

Nicholas. The name.

[Carlos]

Yo, what's up bad friends? My name is Anthony Nichols and I reached out to Carlos the other day to see if you guys would be interested in a birth chart reading for me for your. Your astrology birth charts for Bobby and Andrew and actually I would do everyone on the podcast if you guys were interested. Push pause. My only question is, where were you? January 6th is the first question I would ask.

[Andrew Santino]

Show us that chart.

[Carlos]

Yeah, yeah.

[Andrew Santino]

I. I like. I like the guy. Let's hear a little bit more. How much more left? Let's hear. I like.

[Carlos]

Astrology is essentially just at the moment of your birth, wherever the planets were in the zodiac at that moment you took your first breath. That is supposed to have something to say about your life. And I study ancient Hellenistic astrology, which is like the original form of astrology.

[Andrew Santino]

Pause. Okay, look, he's not going to be in the booth because I don't want want him to know where we do the podcast. But I do want to call him because he is worth a call because he will give us some astrological insight.

[Carlos]

Yeah, I don't think we could work with because he's everyday. Do you want a reading?

[Andrew Santino]

He'd read a lot.

[Carlos]

You know what I mean?

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah.

[Carlos]

I've got these crystals for you, buddy.

[Andrew Santino]

Read me last week.

[Carlos]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Andrew Santino]

No, it's something else changed. Well, yeah, I do like him. And we do want a reading from you, aj. We like you.

[Carlos]

Let's give him a six.

[Andrew Santino]

Six it up.

[Carlos]

Okay.

[Andrew Santino]

But that has nothing to do with how much we like or dislike.

[Carlos]

Yeah, yeah. It's just that you're our reader.

[Andrew Santino]

We like you.

[Carlos]

Yeah, go ahead.

[Andrew Santino]

Sam.

[Carlos]

Sam Weckman. So what's good, guys? Oh, AirPods just died. I'm at work right now. I just watched one episode.

[Andrew Santino]

Pause. I'm at work right now. No can you, buddy? He's like, hey, guys, just woke up from a nap. Yeah, I have to wear this. Otherwise, I pan.

[Carlos]

You're not paragliding or. Yeah. What do you.

[Andrew Santino]

I love this guy. Sam, come on. Where Carlos is being an. True to Bobby. True.

[Carlos]

I've been watching the podcast a little bit, and I just turned 18 on May 8, and I moved out on my birthday because my parents were hella strict. I'm out of there now.

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah.

[Carlos]

And I lowkey need a job or else I'm joining the Air Force, and I don't want to do that.

[Andrew Santino]

Okay, pause. He needs a job. He's at a job. He's auditioning for a job while he's at a job.

[Carlos]

I don't know how much he gets paid there, though, Guy.

[Andrew Santino]

He needs another job. But I do say.

[Carlos]

I want to say, because what if he goes to the Air Force and he dies in a war?

[Andrew Santino]

What war?

[Carlos]

We don't know where's what war is coming up.

[Andrew Santino]

I do. You didn't get that email.

[Carlos]

Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. Are you not logged in like a young Mike Young.

[Andrew Santino]

Once I signed up for Kamala Harris's donation emails. She tells me what wars are coming.

[Carlos]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Andrew Santino]

We did it, Joe. We have another war.

[Carlos]

So much. Don't you get so much from them?

[Andrew Santino]

The amount of spam I have. Not from them. From fucking Cory Booker. Politicians. My phone, my email, every politician, Republican, Democrat.

[Carlos]

Oh, I'm all different Democrat.

[Andrew Santino]

You are.

[Carlos]

Yeah.

[Andrew Santino]

Loser.

[Carlos]

I know.

[Andrew Santino]

I get everybody. It's honestly, it's shocking how many I get. I got two phone calls the other day.

[Carlos]

What are we gonna give Sam?

[Andrew Santino]

It's tough. I don't think he can be in the booth. But I do think, why?

[Carlos]

He's a runner.

[Andrew Santino]

He could be an assistant. Yeah, he could help us out. 18 is quite young to be in the booth because you got to have a lot of technical skills.

[Carlos]

Also, McConnell will be threatened.

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah, that's how sad. You know what then? He's an eight.

[Carlos]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. I think he's an eight.

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah. Good call.

[Carlos]

Yeah, yeah.

[Andrew Santino]

McCone.

[Carlos]

McConnell. Yeah. You'd be threatened by that guy. Dude, he's better than you, but he.

[Andrew Santino]

Doesn'T have as good a hair as McCone, that's for sure. I mean, I don't even know what's underneath that hat, but it ain't that.

[Carlos]

Okay. Tell you, that's one.

[Andrew Santino]

It ain't that. Cody.

[Carlos]

Cody. James Christian. Hello, my name is Cody Christian. I'm from Knoxville, Tennessee. Knoxville work at Oak Ridge National Laboratory in Oak Ridge, Tennessee. But, yeah, I just wanted to submit a video. Yeah. Carlos has to go. You guys gotta replace him.

[Andrew Santino]

True.

[Carlos]

And I'll put. I'll role play. Like, I have a 10 for me.

[Andrew Santino]

Hold on one second.

[Carlos]

Bobby's going off on a rant. He's a 10.

[Andrew Santino]

Pause. Things that we like already. Nondescript apartment, a lot of closets. He hates artwork, except for this MC Escher tattoo he has on his right arm.

[Carlos]

Yeah.

[Andrew Santino]

Which I imagine is. That's what that is.

[Carlos]

He's also willing, just based on what he looks like, to do anything.

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah, the puka shells give that away.

[Carlos]

Yeah, yeah.

[Andrew Santino]

You don't put those on your neck unless you're willing to do anything. Under the sun.

[Carlos]

Can do anything for you.

[Andrew Santino]

And the gauges. Guy who gauges. I'm gauging him by his gauges, and I like him a lot.

[Carlos]

Like, hey, get me some meerkat feet.

[Andrew Santino]

He's like, what do you mean? Right back here. What do you think?

[Carlos]

Two hours meerkat free Here, man. Here, buddy.

[Andrew Santino]

Done.

[Carlos]

Well, name anything, anything.

[Andrew Santino]

He can get it for you.

[Carlos]

Yeah, name anything, anything. Yeah, yeah. Get me Lincoln's top hat.

[Andrew Santino]

He's like, I have it.

[Carlos]

Yeah, yeah. He already has it.

[Andrew Santino]

I'll ship it to you. Right?

[Carlos]

Yeah, get me, you know. Yeah.

[Andrew Santino]

Give me the gun. Give me the gun that we used. Used to assassinate Martin Luther King Jr. Got it.

[Carlos]

We don't even know where that is. He got it.

[Andrew Santino]

He has it.

[Carlos]

Yeah, yeah. A toenail clipping from Cleopatra.

[Andrew Santino]

Got it.

[Carlos]

Got it.

[Andrew Santino]

Absolutely.

[Carlos]

Yeah. It's a part of my necklace.

[Andrew Santino]

He goes, give me. Give me a bag filled with Gandhi's pubes.

[Carlos]

Yeah.

[Andrew Santino]

Got it.

[Carlos]

Who got it?

[Andrew Santino]

He did.

[Carlos]

He has it.

[Andrew Santino]

He's got it.

[Carlos]

But he has it in those closets there. Yeah, they're all stored in his closet. He has everything.

[Andrew Santino]

All right, so 10 for the nine. Nine.

[Carlos]

I'm going to give him a nine. Dude.

[Andrew Santino]

What's his name again?

[Carlos]

Cody.

[Andrew Santino]

His name is Cody James Christian in love.

[Carlos]

In love with Cody.

[Andrew Santino]

There's one big hiccup.

[Carlos]

What?

[Andrew Santino]

Knoxville's very far. It's the other side of the country.

[Carlos]

He'll move.

[Andrew Santino]

God bless.

[Carlos]

Yeah, yeah.

[Andrew Santino]

Do you want to watch any more?

[Carlos]

Move on to the next one.

[Andrew Santino]

I want to move on.

[Carlos]

Yeah, we're going to move all of them.

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah, yeah. I think there's very.

[Carlos]

There's got to be a 10 in there.

[Andrew Santino]

Arsenal.

[Carlos]

Arelli Esparza.

[Andrew Santino]

I was close. Oh, okay.

[Bobby Lee]

Friends, my name is Araceli. I am inquiring about replacing Carlos's job. I have zero experience in show business, but I have my bachelor's degree in sociology and I have my master's degree in social work. I have quite a bit of few years of professional experience outside of college. Also, please don't hire me. I love bad friends. I love Andrew.

[Andrew Santino]

I love Rudy. I love Bobby.

[Bobby Lee]

I love the whole crew. Please, Bobby, forgive Carlos. Love you guys.

[Andrew Santino]

Pause her. We are gonna hire her now.

[Carlos]

The fact that she was, like, psychological.

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah, that's it.

[Carlos]

That always works.

[Andrew Santino]

Good. She's good.

[Carlos]

That kind of always works for me. Don't go to the party. I'm gonna go.

[Andrew Santino]

Yes.

[Carlos]

Yeah, yeah.

[Andrew Santino]

Take her information and log her because we need to FaceTime her.

[Carlos]

Also, we need adora.

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah. We need a door.

[Carlos]

Yeah, we've. That's the element that's missing here. Adorable explorer.

[Andrew Santino]

Hola, bad friend.

[Carlos]

All right. Yeah.

[Andrew Santino]

Hello, bad friends audience.

[Carlos]

So what are you gonna give her?

[Andrew Santino]

Can you find the racism in this episode? Yeah, it's everywh. She's a nine.

[Carlos]

Okay.

[Andrew Santino]

And she doesn't want the job. That's why I need to give it to her.

[Carlos]

Yeah, yeah. What's the next one? Well, the last one is Aaron Lopez.

[Andrew Santino]

Aaron Lopez. Another good. Another Latino name. And by the way. Okay. Love him. Let's go. Let's see him. Bobby, look up.

[Carlos]

Hey, what's up, guys? My name is Aaron.

[Andrew Santino]

I'm 29.

[Carlos]

I'm from Chicago. I currently work as a real estate agent and for Progressive Insurance.

[Andrew Santino]

But I have a lot of sales experience.

[Carlos]

I used to work at Foot Locker and T Mobile for a lot of years. My party trick is shoving my fist in my mouth. Oh, wow. Wow.

[Andrew Santino]

People love it when I do that. Yeah.

[Carlos]

Creative ideas. I currently help my girlfriend with his Tik Tok page.

[Andrew Santino]

We've been doing it for a few.

[Carlos]

Months now, and we're almost at 50, 000 followers. We've actually gotten John Cena to post one of our videos. We get a lot of interactions and a lot of reposts from other wrestlers. It's mainly WWE content.

[Andrew Santino]

He took this very serious.

[Carlos]

It's too serious for me.

[Andrew Santino]

I like it.

[Carlos]

He's very resume. I work at Nike Corporate, but it.

[Andrew Santino]

Is funny to give a professional resume and then put your fist in your mouth. Yeah, I think that's what the juxtaposition is. Awesome.

[Carlos]

It's awesome.

[Andrew Santino]

I like that.

[Carlos]

Open phone. If you're running a business, you know that every time you miss a call, you're leaving money on the table.

[Andrew Santino]

When every customer conversation matters, you need a Phone system that keeps up and helps you stay connected 24, 7. That's why you need OpenPhone.

[Carlos]

OpenPhone is the number one business phone system that streamlines and scales your customer communications.

[Andrew Santino]

It works through an app on your phone or computer. So no more carrying two phones or using a landline.

[Carlos]

With OpenPhone your team can share one number and collaborate on customer calls and texts like a shared inbox.

[Andrew Santino]

That way any teammate can pick up right where the last person left off, keeping response times faster than ever. And you know response times for your customers. It matters. See why over 60,000 businesses trust open phone.

[Carlos]

Plus say goodbye to voicemail.

[Andrew Santino]

Bye bye bye.

[Carlos]

Their agent can be set up in minutes to handle calls after hours, answer questions and capture and capture leads so you never miss a customer.

[Andrew Santino]

So whether you're one person operation drowning in calls and texts or have a large team that needs better collaboration tools, Open Phone is a no brainer.

[Carlos]

Open Phone is offering our listeners 20% off your first six months at openphone.com bad friends that's O P E N.

[Andrew Santino]

P-H-O-N-E openphone.com bad friends and if you have existing numbers with another service Open Phone, we'll port them over at no extra charge. Open Phone no missed calls.

[Carlos]

No no miss customers. Oh my God, my arm still hurts from me falling on that roller.

[Andrew Santino]

You know why? You know why?

[Carlos]

Why?

[Andrew Santino]

Because you need to take care of it. You stop putting it off. ZocDoc is a free app and website where you can search and compare high quality in network dockers and click to instantly book an appointment and because you need to go get seen.

[Carlos]

And I love it because you can filter out for doctors who take your insurance or located nearby and are a good fit for any medical needs that you might have.

[Andrew Santino]

Like here's the problem people go hey Bobby, how are you going to be able to find a doctor with that that can do that near you? Well guess what?

[Carlos]

How do I do it?

[Andrew Santino]

Zoc Doc. You can book in network appointments with more than 100,000 doctors across every specialty. Mental health to dental health, primary care to urgent care and even arm care after falling down on the ground.

[Carlos]

And once you find the right doctor, you can see their actual appointment openings. Choose a time slot that works for you and click to instantly book a visit.

[Andrew Santino]

Helped me out when I moved and I'm thankful for Zocdoc for getting me a new doc. Near me takes my insurance. Stop putting off those doctor's appointments. Bobby lee. Go to Zocdoc.com bad friends to find and instantly book a top rated doctor today.

[Carlos]

That's Zocdoc Z O C-O C.com bad friends. Zocdoc.com bad friends. Can you do it?

[Andrew Santino]

No, and I won't try.

[Carlos]

Okay.

[Andrew Santino]

Because I don't want that screenshotted. Yeah, you will. No, there's no chance. I don't want to do it.

[Carlos]

Yeah. I can't do it. That's incredible.

[Andrew Santino]

That's a. It's an eight.

[Carlos]

It's an eight. Yeah.

[Andrew Santino]

So what, it's boiled down to me.

[Carlos]

We have three nines.

[Andrew Santino]

The nines are whom?

[Carlos]

Mackenzie.

[Andrew Santino]

Right. The Philly girl.

[Carlos]

Arceli and Cody.

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah. So here's my debate. I do think we need female energy in the booth because these three pigs have been up there doing their fucking bullshit for far too.

[Carlos]

I think we need another female submission.

[Andrew Santino]

I agree. We need. Okay, so how about this? We're logging these in. Please submit females only on the next round because we have to get one or two more females because then we can. Then we can call them all. We can get whittled down.

[Carlos]

I think you're right. We need female energy here.

[Andrew Santino]

We do, yeah.

[Carlos]

Yeah.

[Andrew Santino]

So Sharky with a shirt off was cool. He's single, Dad.

[Carlos]

I don't know the Cody.

[Andrew Santino]

For me it's a home run. What about the big guy? What about the 6, 4, 300 pound guy?

[Carlos]

Yeah, what was he? Ernesto.

[Andrew Santino]

Ernesto.

[Carlos]

Ernesto. Got a nine, too.

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah, so put him in there.

[Carlos]

Yeah, we got a lot of nines. We have Mackenzie.

[Andrew Santino]

So funny.

[Carlos]

You're like, we already know Cody and Arcelli.

[Andrew Santino]

All right. Yeah, we're locking that in. You guys remember that. And then we're going to. We're going to whittle it down. And the next time we're together, we have to FaceTime these candidates and see what we can do. Someone will have an opportunity to come up here by the fall end of the summer. The fall. Carlos, how does that make you feel to see your job kind of going up in smoke?

[Carlos]

Well, because of y', all, I'm actually, I'm pretty qualified for a lot of really good jobs. That would probably pay me more. Damn, I could probably get a job at any talent agency.

[Andrew Santino]

You're gonna make him throw a water.

[Carlos]

Bullshit.

[Andrew Santino]

Dude, let me tell you something.

[Carlos]

It's true.

[Andrew Santino]

When you want to go, you're more than welcome to go.

[Carlos]

Yeah. Don't even say goodbye.

[Andrew Santino]

And this is something. This is something that I'm going to share with Bobby. I'm going to share something with Bobby right now that I Probably shouldn't do.

[Carlos]

I know a lot of things, but a little.

[Andrew Santino]

A little piece of privacy that somebody bestowed upon me and I'm going to blow up their spot.

[Carlos]

Please.

[Andrew Santino]

The other day, Andres. The other day goes. I'm ready for the next phase of my life. I don't want to do the show too much longer. He said that. Speak your mind. Did I. Did he fucking say that or not?

[Carlos]

But it was like in a Spanish way.

[Andrew Santino]

Go ahead.

[Carlos]

More.

[Andrew Santino]

Bobby, listen up.

[Carlos]

Interesting.

[Andrew Santino]

Tell the truth.

[Carlos]

Be honest.

[Andrew Santino]

Stroke the beard. Stroke the beard. Interesting. I was saying in a philosophical way. Not enough. Not in a literal way. Exactly.

[Carlos]

But eventually you do want to leave.

[Andrew Santino]

Let's be honest as a family.

[Carlos]

Let's get it out on. I think that's the problem here, is that we're hiding what we really feel.

[Andrew Santino]

Is that what you're doing?

[Carlos]

What? Hiding how you really feel? We're so honest here. Wow.

[Andrew Santino]

He's taking so many shots at you today.

[Carlos]

I'm with Andrew for life.

[Andrew Santino]

For life.

[Carlos]

As long as he makes you money.

[Andrew Santino]

Wow. You know, he's doing. You know what he's doing.

[Carlos]

He was out.

[Andrew Santino]

He's wants out.

[Carlos]

Yeah. Yeah. No, that is so like you doing some mind trick on me to quit or something.

[Andrew Santino]

Well, let me tell you something.

[Carlos]

Yeah.

[Andrew Santino]

I have a buddy that. It's the drugs. It is a drug.

[Carlos]

Yeah, yeah.

[Andrew Santino]

But I have a friend that I know that worked at Foot Locker and at Progressive.

[Carlos]

Yeah, yeah.

[Andrew Santino]

I got a buddy.

[Carlos]

Yeah.

[Andrew Santino]

So we can get.

[Carlos]

I didn't say I wanted to go.

[Andrew Santino]

You said. Before this whole thing started, you literally just said, I have enough qualifications now I can go do. Get another job.

[Carlos]

I have a friend that has a Cyclops eye. Right. I'm fired. I could get another job is what I'm saying.

[Andrew Santino]

Okay, well, that sounds like you don't care if you do get fired.

[Carlos]

I do care, and you know that.

[Andrew Santino]

Well, see.

[Carlos]

No, we don't.

[Andrew Santino]

We don't. He got.

[Carlos]

We actually don't. We don't know that. Do you know that?

[Andrew Santino]

I don't.

[Carlos]

Yeah, we don't. So convince me that.

[Andrew Santino]

Damn, dude.

[Carlos]

Damn.

[Andrew Santino]

I mean, he's. Honestly.

[Carlos]

I'm enraged.

[Andrew Santino]

Fucking good.

[Carlos]

I'm so enraged. Why go more toward him? No, no, no, no. You can't really do that. I don't know.

[Andrew Santino]

We got the submissions in there. Carlos obviously is threatened. He's getting defensive and a little mean, and that's fine. Here's the biggest trick of all.

[Carlos]

I don't know.

[Andrew Santino]

You know what my opinion is?

[Carlos]

What?

[Andrew Santino]

Oh, you want a real Fucking watch of my doozy.

[Carlos]

You want me give me a watch doozy.

[Andrew Santino]

Dude, all three of these schmucks are gone and we get three new people from that list.

[Carlos]

Oh, it's so fresh.

[Andrew Santino]

The fans would love it.

[Carlos]

That'd be great.

[Andrew Santino]

Fans.

[Carlos]

We should try for a bit. Yeah, yeah. Because youe're ungrateful Andreas.

[Andrew Santino]

Fact.

[Carlos]

You should never leave this.

[Andrew Santino]

Fact.

[Carlos]

Right?

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah.

[Carlos]

Because if you leave this, guess what? What happens?

[Andrew Santino]

What happens?

[Carlos]

No zombie movie.

[Andrew Santino]

No zombie. That's right.

[Carlos]

Know a lot of things. You lose access to us. Right. Because I'd be furious.

[Andrew Santino]

You'd be mad.

[Carlos]

Yeah.

[Andrew Santino]

What about McCone?

[Carlos]

He's your bitch.

[Andrew Santino]

He is.

[Carlos]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. I don't know what happened.

[Andrew Santino]

It's my little toy.

[Carlos]

And the reason why I turned on McCone all those years is because I saw him go towards you.

[Andrew Santino]

Right?

[Carlos]

So I can't. He cannot get all that love.

[Andrew Santino]

That's right.

[Carlos]

I do love the guy, you know, I mean, but it's like it's too much love.

[Andrew Santino]

Too much.

[Carlos]

Yeah. And you, Carlos. Oh, you just blew that fucking smoke in my face.

[Andrew Santino]

You're vaping on the show and you're blowing it at us.

[Carlos]

Yeah, yeah. It's so rude. I only smoke joints. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You know what it is? He got celebrity from this.

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah.

[Carlos]

We fucked it up.

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah, we fucked up. And I will say something. These guys are all irreplaceable. We love them so much. They're our brother.

[Carlos]

We should do it.

[Andrew Santino]

They're our brothers. We love them so much. But we do want to bring in somebody we're interested. I really want this to take place.

[Carlos]

Yeah. Good fan interaction for celebrities like you to interact with normal.

[Andrew Santino]

He's being facetious. It's so funny when he takes shots.

[Carlos]

I know.

[Andrew Santino]

Well, let's bring in some of the students then. How about that?

[Carlos]

Yeah.

[Andrew Santino]

Because maybe someone in the student pool.

[Carlos]

Maybe. Yeah.

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah. Let's grab something.

[Carlos]

Does anybody want. No, let's see. Incentive. Don't grab them yet. Just don't grab anybody. Go back in your booth.

[Andrew Santino]

Don't grab a woman.

[Carlos]

Here's. I want them to have incentive.

[Andrew Santino]

Incentive, Right. Incense. You want.

[Carlos]

You do that.

[Andrew Santino]

Well, I can't hear you.

[Carlos]

Incentive.

[Andrew Santino]

I want them to have incentive. I want to be incentivized.

[Carlos]

So they need to volunteer themselves and walk in.

[Andrew Santino]

Okay. Volunteer for someone to walk in. Whoever wants to be on the first up, go ahead. Who is. Hi.

[Carlos]

Hi.

[Andrew Santino]

Take a seat there.

[Carlos]

You want both? We get both.

[Andrew Santino]

Oh, both is fine.

[Carlos]

Both is fine.

[Andrew Santino]

Both is fine. Do we have a Camera for two or no? Yes, we do.

[Carlos]

Did you get your pants from Target?

[Bobby Lee]

No. Urban Outfitters, actually.

[Carlos]

Okay. I'm kidding.

[Andrew Santino]

Why is that a shot?

[Carlos]

I don't know why I did that. That was so rude.

[Andrew Santino]

Very weird.

[Carlos]

Yeah, yeah. Oh, yeah.

[Andrew Santino]

Because they're nice. Because those are really nice. Pancakes and fries.

[Carlos]

Yeah, yeah.

[Bobby Lee]

Somebody had to serve breakfast this morning.

[Andrew Santino]

God bless.

[Carlos]

Yeah.

[Andrew Santino]

Serve it up, girl. Go off queen. Yeah, serve. She's serving.

[Carlos]

She's serving.

[Andrew Santino]

She's serving.

[Carlos]

Yeah.

[Andrew Santino]

What's your name there in the blue chair?

[Bobby Lee]

I'm Sophia.

[Andrew Santino]

Sophia, put the mic up towards you.

[Carlos]

And try to be a little louder, both of you.

[Andrew Santino]

Sophia. Sophia, do. You broke the mic. Five seconds. She breaks the mic.

[Carlos]

Yeah, yeah.

[Andrew Santino]

No, it's fine.

[Carlos]

Sophia, what is going on, dude?

[Andrew Santino]

Sophia.

[Carlos]

What are you, Johnny Rotten? She's destroying the set.

[Andrew Santino]

It's very funny.

[Carlos]

Yeah, yeah.

[Andrew Santino]

What does this say?

[Carlos]

Today?

[Andrew Santino]

God save the queens.

[Carlos]

Yeah, yeah.

[Andrew Santino]

Hey, so, Sophia, just leave it alone.

[Carlos]

No, no, have her fix it. I want her to work under pressure. Fix it, Sophia. Fix it. Yeah. What's your name?

[Bobby Lee]

Amanda.

[Carlos]

Hi, Amanda. While you're fixing that, we're gonna talk to Amanda.

[Bobby Lee]

Okay?

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah, Amanda. You guys are both at Quinnipiac?

[Bobby Lee]

Yes.

[Andrew Santino]

Are you both east coast kids?

[Bobby Lee]

Yes.

[Andrew Santino]

Where are you from?

[Bobby Lee]

Jersey. Central Jersey. If you believe in Central Jersey.

[Andrew Santino]

We do.

[Carlos]

I'm a big believer.

[Andrew Santino]

It's a real place.

[Carlos]

Yeah. I honor it.

[Andrew Santino]

Sophia and Amanda.

[Carlos]

Yeah.

[Andrew Santino]

Yes. Sophia, where are you from?

[Bobby Lee]

Long Island.

[Andrew Santino]

You didn't fix the mic.

[Carlos]

Yeah. You gotta fix it.

[Bobby Lee]

I don't know where it keeps.

[Carlos]

Try to figure it out.

[Andrew Santino]

Don't worry about it.

[Carlos]

Okay. Don't worry.

[Andrew Santino]

You're from Long Island. How far out?

[Bobby Lee]

Middle.

[Andrew Santino]

What town you're both from?

[Carlos]

Middles.

[Andrew Santino]

Middle Jersey. Middle, Middle.

[Carlos]

Long Island. Yeah, yeah.

[Bobby Lee]

Like, you know. Suffolk County.

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah, Suffolk.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah. Yeah. I'm like, right in the middle.

[Andrew Santino]

Give me your home address. I'm driving there in five days. I'll be driving through. I'll say hi to your parents. I'm not even kidding. Wouldn't that be fun if I stopped by? Because I'm going out to Long island, so I'll be going out, way out, so I could stop by.

[Carlos]

I'll never stop by.

[Andrew Santino]

No, that's true. So what year are you guys at Quinnipiac?

[Bobby Lee]

I'm a junior. I'm going to be a senior next year. I'm going into my third year.

[Carlos]

What? So. But you guys are. What, let me guess, 21?

[Andrew Santino]

No, 19.

[Bobby Lee]

I'm 21.

[Andrew Santino]

You're 19? Yes. About to be a junior.

[Carlos]

Okay.

[Andrew Santino]

19 and 21. So you're. You're almost on your way out.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah.

[Andrew Santino]

Do you have any hopes for the future?

[Bobby Lee]

A lot, actually.

[Andrew Santino]

And what are they?

[Bobby Lee]

I want to work in the music industry. Post grad.

[Carlos]

Oh, that's why you had bad friends, huh?

[Andrew Santino]

That's good.

[Bobby Lee]

Exactly.

[Carlos]

Yeah.

[Andrew Santino]

What do you want to do in the music industry? Something like, like I want to do.

[Bobby Lee]

Marketing for a record label.

[Andrew Santino]

Ah. Oh, very good.

[Carlos]

Yeah.

[Andrew Santino]

What about you?

[Bobby Lee]

Kind of whatever can get get me on my feet.

[Carlos]

Yeah. You're my kind of person.

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah.

[Carlos]

Already. Yeah.

[Andrew Santino]

This is so funny. She's you. She's me.

[Carlos]

I know.

[Andrew Santino]

It's so weirdest thing. She's you.

[Carlos]

Yeah.

[Andrew Santino]

What are your skill sets?

[Carlos]

Just say nothing.

[Bobby Lee]

Nothing.

[Carlos]

Yeah. Yeah. Good. You're me.

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. And you have a litany of skill sets. You can do a lot of things. Huh? You're a good student.

[Bobby Lee]

I can.

[Andrew Santino]

You work very hard. Yes. This is interesting.

[Carlos]

Did you get straight A's?

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah.

[Carlos]

Oh.

[Andrew Santino]

Oh, you did? Yeah.

[Bobby Lee]

No, I don't.

[Carlos]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. See, that right there is me. You. You don't stand on anything. You go back and forth. That's great.

[Andrew Santino]

Flip flop.

[Carlos]

What do you watch?

[Bobby Lee]

Horror.

[Carlos]

Oh. What's your favorite horror movie? I'm a huge. Top three horror movies.

[Bobby Lee]

Go Scream. The original, I guess the Fear street series. Yeah.

[Carlos]

Yeah.

[Andrew Santino]

Are you guys best friends?

[Bobby Lee]

We're going to be after this.

[Andrew Santino]

Because you look at her like you. She knows your answers.

[Carlos]

Yeah, we do.

[Bobby Lee]

We're both horror fans.

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah.

[Carlos]

Oh.

[Andrew Santino]

Are you guys close?

[Carlos]

And what's a Fear Stream series? What is that? That?

[Bobby Lee]

It's like. It's like a Netflix original series. They just came out with a fourth one. Yeah.

[Andrew Santino]

Fear street.

[Bobby Lee]

And it takes place in like a long time ago. And they're like kind of spoofs on the original slashers.

[Andrew Santino]

Cool. Yeah, that's cool. Okay, like, what does RL Stein have to do with it?

[Bobby Lee]

RL Stein is the one who did Goosebumps, the Haunting Hour.

[Andrew Santino]

I know that, but I'm saying, why is that? Is he have anything to do with Fear Street? Oh, R.L. stine wrote the original Fear Street.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah.

[Andrew Santino]

Prom queen. Oh, look at that.

[Carlos]

Well, is it. It's campy then.

[Bobby Lee]

Very. Yeah.

[Carlos]

I don't like it. That's not real fear.

[Andrew Santino]

Because RL does do campy stuff. He does, like, kind of like kitschy.

[Carlos]

Yeah, right?

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah.

[Carlos]

Kitschy. Yeah. I mean, you don't like the Exorcist?

[Bobby Lee]

Not really.

[Andrew Santino]

Right. You like it to be like light and goofy and kind of like, joking of it in and of itself. Right.

[Bobby Lee]

I like it to look fake.

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah, right. Exactly.

[Bobby Lee]

Like, kind of. He's right behind you, right?

[Andrew Santino]

Spaghetti western, type of goofball. Wackadoo.

[Carlos]

Hereditary.

[Bobby Lee]

Loved. Hereditary.

[Andrew Santino]

Now work parasite. You like that?

[Carlos]

Kind of.

[Andrew Santino]

Not like that, Right.

[Carlos]

They don't like parasites on a horror.

[Andrew Santino]

I know. They don't like gross, weird to psychological, fucked up. They like on the nose, goofy.

[Carlos]

God, it makes me mad.

[Andrew Santino]

That's all right.

[Carlos]

Oh, it makes me mad.

[Andrew Santino]

No, that's not real horror. I'm not saying parasites are. I'm saying they don't. They like.

[Carlos]

No, not you, them. Fear Street. I'm not gonna watch that.

[Andrew Santino]

Give me Fear Road and I'll watch.

[Carlos]

Yeah, yeah.

[Andrew Santino]

Do you know this show? Have you ever seen this show?

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah, we've seen it once or twice.

[Andrew Santino]

Oh, cool.

[Carlos]

You've heard of it, but Jesus. Okay. You're not nervous here.

[Andrew Santino]

They hate us.

[Carlos]

I know they do. I can tell.

[Andrew Santino]

I know.

[Carlos]

Yeah, yeah. Fear Street.

[Andrew Santino]

We've seen this show.

[Carlos]

Series. Nothing.

[Andrew Santino]

It's sophomoric.

[Carlos]

Well, wow.

[Andrew Santino]

Sorry. Sorry you hate us.

[Carlos]

So you want to be in the music industry? We don't know what you want to do.

[Bobby Lee]

Something that involves entertainment. Yeah.

[Carlos]

Like a producer. Can you write?

[Bobby Lee]

No.

[Carlos]

Okay.

[Andrew Santino]

What can you do? Give me one thing that you do very well.

[Bobby Lee]

Photography.

[Andrew Santino]

Okay.

[Carlos]

Okay.

[Andrew Santino]

Photographer.

[Carlos]

Okay.

[Andrew Santino]

That's a good start.

[Carlos]

Yeah.

[Andrew Santino]

What do you have a. Like a bunch of cameras?

[Bobby Lee]

I have one. Yeah.

[Andrew Santino]

What is it?

[Bobby Lee]

Canon rebel T6.

[Andrew Santino]

Look it up. I want to see which. What it looks like The Canon Rebel T6. Rebel T6. That's a camera. Now that.

[Carlos]

That's a real camera, right? How much is that camera?

[Andrew Santino]

It says it right there. Twelve hundred dollars.

[Carlos]

Wow.

[Andrew Santino]

No, it's 400 bucks.

[Bobby Lee]

It was. It's very old.

[Andrew Santino]

So you bought it when it's cheaper than that?

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah.

[Andrew Santino]

All right.

[Bobby Lee]

Like 2016.

[Andrew Santino]

Good for you.

[Carlos]

Is it digital?

[Andrew Santino]

They are digital, yeah. Everything is now.

[Carlos]

Okay. I don't know.

[Andrew Santino]

So you're out there snapping picks?

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah.

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah. And what you is this is your hobby or you. You're trying to slow. Is this something you really want to make your career but you're afraid to tell everybody?

[Bobby Lee]

No, it's more of a hobby.

[Carlos]

So you have no future?

[Andrew Santino]

No, I think you do. I just don't know what it is. I'm trying to figure out what I want to do.

[Bobby Lee]

Something like with social media, but I also want to do managing.

[Andrew Santino]

Managing of talent.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah.

[Andrew Santino]

You want to manage talent.

[Carlos]

That's what you're gonna do.

[Andrew Santino]

Right.

[Carlos]

Why don't you move out here and become, like, a.

[Andrew Santino]

Do not move out here. Do not. They don't want to move out here. They're east coast kids. They're gonna stay east.

[Carlos]

Lionsgate has that job open right now.

[Andrew Santino]

Manager, social media, WWTV Marketing.

[Carlos]

Yeah. Also, you could get it like, a mailroom job at an agency.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah.

[Andrew Santino]

Very hard. Yeah. That's a hard gig to get.

[Carlos]

Now, we have connections.

[Andrew Santino]

We don't know her.

[Carlos]

That's right.

[Andrew Santino]

I can't vouch for something I can't just met for the first time. I mean, she doesn't even know if she wants it.

[Carlos]

I know. That's right. You'd have to want it.

[Bobby Lee]

I'm willing to try anything, though.

[Carlos]

You have to work hard, though, and it's. It.

[Bobby Lee]

What are you calling me? Not a hard worker.

[Carlos]

We don't know.

[Andrew Santino]

I have no idea.

[Carlos]

Yeah. You don't even.

[Andrew Santino]

I can't tell.

[Carlos]

You don't even know what you want to do. Really?

[Andrew Santino]

I can't tell if you're. If she's, like, very smart and astute and good at stuff, and she's playing with us, and she's just toying with.

[Carlos]

Us, but this is my energy.

[Andrew Santino]

Right? You like this?

[Carlos]

Yeah. Because you look at me, ask me with something.

[Andrew Santino]

What do you do?

[Carlos]

I don't know.

[Andrew Santino]

All right, same.

[Carlos]

Yeah, same thing. That's who I am.

[Andrew Santino]

All right, well, Jersey knows. She wants to be in the music industry. And has Quinnipiac been great? We visited your school.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah. I actually came in as a criminal justice major, so I'm like. I made the switch my freshman year, but it's been great to me.

[Andrew Santino]

What are your. What is your mom. She's me.

[Carlos]

Yeah.

[Andrew Santino]

What does your mom and dad do?

[Bobby Lee]

They both work in the steel industry.

[Andrew Santino]

Vague. I like vague.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah, well, my dad has an engineering degree, so he does all the engineering kind of stuff, but he definitely wanted me to be a doctor.

[Carlos]

Yes.

[Andrew Santino]

And then your mom. What?

[Bobby Lee]

She works in more of the clerical side, so she does a lot of.

[Carlos]

I thought she was. Yeah.

[Andrew Santino]

They work together.

[Bobby Lee]

They used to. That's how they met.

[Andrew Santino]

Right. Yeah, I could see that. That makes. Perfect you're. That you have that kind of energy. Are you an only child? Yes. Yeah. Saw that coming.

[Carlos]

Yeah. Yeah, yeah.

[Andrew Santino]

I could feel it. Now, you. You're definitely not an only child, and you hate your older sister.

[Bobby Lee]

I am an only child.

[Andrew Santino]

You are.

[Bobby Lee]

That's why I was like, what do.

[Carlos]

You think you're psychic?

[Andrew Santino]

I was trying.

[Carlos]

That was the biggest fail ever.

[Andrew Santino]

I was Trying.

[Carlos]

So embarrassing.

[Andrew Santino]

I tried.

[Carlos]

Yeah.

[Andrew Santino]

Our guy gave me influence. The astrological guy was making me feel.

[Carlos]

Yeah, you don't have the talent.

[Andrew Santino]

No, I don't got it.

[Carlos]

Yeah, you don't got it.

[Andrew Santino]

I don't got any.

[Carlos]

Yeah.

[Andrew Santino]

You're an only child.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah.

[Andrew Santino]

What does your mom and dad do?

[Bobby Lee]

Mom's an accountant. Dad's a mechanic.

[Andrew Santino]

Car mechanic.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah. He owns his own shop. Yeah.

[Carlos]

Blue collar.

[Andrew Santino]

Well, shout out his shop.

[Carlos]

I'm blue collar. I come from blue collar.

[Andrew Santino]

What's your dad's shop name? He comes with blue collar. Get. Dude, you live. You. You went to a country club. You lived in a mansion growing up.

[Carlos]

Yeah, but my dad had a blue collar job.

[Andrew Santino]

It's not blue collar when you own a shop. Liar. Fashion gal.

[Carlos]

Look at that.

[Andrew Santino]

His dad owned.

[Carlos]

My dad owned that retail.

[Andrew Santino]

That's not blue collar. You don't understand what blue collar means? It's. That's laborers. You lived in the richest town in Minnesota. Yeah, you liar. Shut up. Oh, yeah. Her father works with his hands. It's blue collar.

[Carlos]

Yeah, but he owns his own shop. How is that going to apply?

[Andrew Santino]

He uses his fucking.

[Carlos]

My dad worked. He had no employees. He worked every day.

[Andrew Santino]

That's because he was a cheap Korean fuck. He didn't want to hire anybody.

[Carlos]

Okay, but see those mannequins?

[Andrew Santino]

He put them together. Yeah, I know.

[Carlos]

Okay.

[Andrew Santino]

Do you know why it's called blue collar?

[Carlos]

No, seriously, don't. Please don't do this right now.

[Andrew Santino]

I'm being serious.

[Carlos]

Yeah, I look like a fool.

[Andrew Santino]

No, but think about it.

[Carlos]

They have a collar and it's blue.

[Andrew Santino]

Right. And versus white collars, usually guys who wear suits.

[Carlos]

Right, Right.

[Andrew Santino]

Right.

[Carlos]

Okay.

[Andrew Santino]

Right. So people. Right. Okay.

[Carlos]

My dad didn't wear a suit.

[Andrew Santino]

That's right.

[Carlos]

He wore a blue collar shirt.

[Andrew Santino]

No, he didn't know. He wear a blue T shirt?

[Carlos]

No, Blue collar.

[Andrew Santino]

He didn't wear collar.

[Carlos]

Yeah, I did.

[Andrew Santino]

No, he wore T shirts. Fashion girl T shirts.

[Carlos]

Okay.

[Andrew Santino]

That's what he wore.

[Carlos]

Okay.

[Andrew Santino]

That's what he wore.

[Carlos]

Okay. Anyway, let's go back to.

[Andrew Santino]

What's the name of your dad's shop? Can we see it? We can cut it out.

[Bobby Lee]

Old Nickel service station.

[Andrew Santino]

Old Nickels service station.

[Carlos]

If your car is broken down, go to. Oh, nickel station in Long Island. Long Island.

[Andrew Santino]

Is that it?

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah.

[Carlos]

Yeah.

[Andrew Santino]

That's fucking awesome. That's obviously your last name. Nichols.

[Bobby Lee]

Nope.

[Andrew Santino]

Who's old Nichols?

[Carlos]

Yeah, it's clever.

[Andrew Santino]

By the way, it would be better if it was nickels, like the coin. And I seek it like old Nickels.

[Carlos]

I think someone died outside.

[Andrew Santino]

Oh, who died out front? Family member plants. Oh, they do die.

[Carlos]

That's a death burial.

[Andrew Santino]

That is a burial.

[Carlos]

Yeah. Yeah. Who died there?

[Andrew Santino]

Old Nichols. It's on.

[Carlos]

Kill somebody. Okay. Well, thank you. We're gonna get the next group.

[Andrew Santino]

You guys are great.

[Carlos]

You guys are great.

[Andrew Santino]

Thank you. Give it up for them.

[Carlos]

Yeah, give them a round applause.

[Andrew Santino]

Long island in Jersey.

[Carlos]

Very nice.

[Andrew Santino]

Two of the best. Two of the best in the game.

[Carlos]

Nickels Auto Center.

[Andrew Santino]

Old Nichols Auto Center. Bing, bang, boom, bam, boom. Is that your car making a noise? But boom, boom, you gotta take it down to the boys.

[Carlos]

Boom, boom.

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah, Old Nickels will fix up your car.

[Carlos]

Next two.

[Andrew Santino]

Boom, boom, boom, you'll go far. Old Nickels Auto Center.

[Carlos]

Incentive, incentive.

[Andrew Santino]

Incentivize.

[Carlos]

Back up.

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah, yeah.

[Carlos]

Whoa. Yay. Yay. Hey.

[Andrew Santino]

Two. Two students.

[Carlos]

Yeah.

[Andrew Santino]

All right. What's your name? Where are you from?

[Carlos]

What you do?

[Bobby Lee]

I'm Judy.

[Andrew Santino]

Judy.

[Carlos]

Judy.

[Andrew Santino]

We love Judy. Judy. Where. Where are you from?

[Bobby Lee]

I'm from North Carolina.

[Andrew Santino]

Which part?

[Bobby Lee]

Carrie.

[Andrew Santino]

I know Carrie.

[Carlos]

You do?

[Andrew Santino]

I do.

[Carlos]

What's there?

[Andrew Santino]

My dad's from North Carolina. You know that? Oh, my dad's from a small town called Valdez. You don't know it?

[Bobby Lee]

Nope.

[Andrew Santino]

No, it's near Hickory. You do know Hickory, though?

[Bobby Lee]

Yes, I know.

[Carlos]

Is that where from Hickory cheese comes from?

[Andrew Santino]

That's exactly right.

[Carlos]

Okay.

[Andrew Santino]

It's. No, it's hickory furniture.

[Carlos]

Okay.

[Andrew Santino]

All right. Judy's from. From North Carolina. And what's your name?

[Bobby Lee]

I'm Zoe.

[Andrew Santino]

Hi, Zoe. Zoe, very calm.

[Carlos]

Where you from? Where are you from, Zoe?

[Bobby Lee]

I'm from Long Island.

[Carlos]

Really?

[Andrew Santino]

Do you know about Old Nichols Auto Center? I don't, but you do now. Yeah.

[Carlos]

Let's play a game. Guess the race.

[Andrew Santino]

Guess the Race. Here we are on Guess the Race.

[Carlos]

Yes, there is. Yeah. You're half of something.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah, I'm a quarter of something.

[Carlos]

You're a quarter of a quarter.

[Andrew Santino]

A quarter.

[Carlos]

Let me guess. What is it? I already know. You got to be a quarter Asian.

[Andrew Santino]

Well, yeah, dude, but which one? That's that. Anyone?

[Carlos]

You can't guess. Quarters of what? It's watered down. There's no way to know.

[Andrew Santino]

I can. I can tell.

[Carlos]

Okay, which one it is.

[Andrew Santino]

My instinct says Chinese.

[Carlos]

Okay, can I just.

[Andrew Santino]

Am I right? God bless.

[Carlos]

Wow, you do have psychic abilities. He has it.

[Andrew Santino]

I know my Chinese.

[Carlos]

Did you know your Chinese grandmother or grandfather?

[Bobby Lee]

No, I didn't. Yeah, before I knew them, but yeah. My mom's half Chinese, so.

[Andrew Santino]

Your mom's half Chinese?

[Carlos]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Andrew Santino]

And your dad is What?

[Bobby Lee]

Wait.

[Andrew Santino]

Boring.

[Carlos]

You have Chinese.

[Andrew Santino]

Judy, are you Chinese? You guys want to guess?

[Bobby Lee]

I know mine might be hard.

[Carlos]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Andrew Santino]

Judy, I feel like you might be Puerto Rican and. And Puerto Rican and Dominican. Moroccan.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah, yeah.

[Andrew Santino]

Did I get it?

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah, you got it. 5%.

[Carlos]

Yeah.

[Andrew Santino]

Knew it.

[Carlos]

Yeah.

[Andrew Santino]

Knew it.

[Carlos]

Yeah.

[Andrew Santino]

All right, so you guys are a Quinnipiac. And you're what, ages, what, years at Quinnipiac?

[Bobby Lee]

I'm a grad student.

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah, you look more mature. You look like you're you. You've. You've been through the gambit.

[Carlos]

Yeah.

[Andrew Santino]

And what about you?

[Bobby Lee]

I'm going into my third year.

[Andrew Santino]

Third year.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah.

[Carlos]

It was so fun. I was gonna wear my Brad Pitt T shirt. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So.

[Andrew Santino]

That he is the man.

[Carlos]

Yeah, yeah.

[Andrew Santino]

This guy's a mega baby.

[Carlos]

Why?

[Andrew Santino]

This guy thinks he's Pedro Pascal, but yeah.

[Carlos]

Yeah.

[Andrew Santino]

Stupid Spaniard. And Judy, what year are you. Is this your first year in grad school?

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah, it's a one year program, so.

[Andrew Santino]

You'Re in and out.

[Bobby Lee]

I'm almost done. Yeah.

[Carlos]

What do you want to do, Jude? Hey, Judy.

[Bobby Lee]

I want to be in sports media.

[Andrew Santino]

Sports media. Like you want to do on camera stuff.

[Bobby Lee]

Yes.

[Andrew Santino]

Easy, easy. You got it.

[Carlos]

Caitlin Clark. You know, another three, that's you. Oh, yeah.

[Andrew Santino]

Okay.

[Carlos]

Yeah, yeah.

[Andrew Santino]

I mean, you are. She's very personable.

[Carlos]

I love.

[Andrew Santino]

What do you want to do? Film. You want to be. What do you want to be on camera or behind it?

[Bobby Lee]

Probably behind it.

[Andrew Santino]

Behind it.

[Carlos]

I can tell you want to be a director.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah, actually, I could see that.

[Carlos]

I can see that. Yeah, I can see that.

[Andrew Santino]

You want to be a director.

[Carlos]

Yeah.

[Andrew Santino]

You think you. You think you'll. Oh, you like editing? We need an editor because we're about to lose one.

[Carlos]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Andrew Santino]

You think you could edit as good as he does?

[Bobby Lee]

I mean, maybe.

[Andrew Santino]

Ah, dude, I like this.

[Carlos]

You seem like you have deep film knowledge. What's your top five films, my friend?

[Bobby Lee]

I can't do that.

[Carlos]

Top three.

[Andrew Santino]

Oh, give it. Just give us a chunk of films.

[Carlos]

Well, just give me a chunk of films.

[Bobby Lee]

I'll say My Cousin Vinny.

[Andrew Santino]

Oh, such a good movie.

[Carlos]

Good.

[Andrew Santino]

Fantastic.

[Carlos]

That's it.

[Andrew Santino]

That's it.

[Carlos]

Okay.

[Andrew Santino]

That's a movie she likes.

[Bobby Lee]

I have some more.

[Carlos]

Okay, okay. Give me some more. Okay.

[Bobby Lee]

I could go Singing in the Rain.

[Carlos]

Okay.

[Andrew Santino]

Singing in the Rain. Singing in the Rain.

[Carlos]

It's a classic. Yeah.

[Andrew Santino]

Very sweet. And then it was shot in about an hour and a half. I don't know if you know that.

[Carlos]

Yeah, yeah. Singing in the Right, Quick, quick.

[Andrew Santino]

Film.

[Carlos]

Who's in that? Sinatra. Who's that? Fred Astaire.

[Andrew Santino]

What? Gene.

[Carlos]

Gene Kelly. Yeah. Singing in the Rain.

[Andrew Santino]

Just.

[Carlos]

It's so white, that movie. I can't even do it. I get like, trembles when I watch that.

[Andrew Santino]

I'll do your version then.

[Carlos]

Yeah. Me.

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah.

[Carlos]

Screaming in Tsunami. Yeah, that's. That's the movie I want to see.

[Andrew Santino]

That's a good movie.

[Carlos]

Yeah. Screaming.

[Andrew Santino]

Have you guys ever seen this show?

[Bobby Lee]

No.

[Andrew Santino]

Okay, good.

[Carlos]

Have you heard of the show?

[Bobby Lee]

No, I've, like, seen, like, on TikTok. Yeah.

[Carlos]

Oh, so you're vaguely aware.

[Bobby Lee]

Yes.

[Carlos]

You. Nothing.

[Bobby Lee]

No. Something like famous TikTok.

[Carlos]

I'll go.

[Andrew Santino]

Well, lock in. You'll. You'll. You'll be one. You'll be a TikTok here in a couple of weeks.

[Carlos]

I mean, you're on the show now. Yeah. Yeah. How do you feel about that? Uneasy.

[Andrew Santino]

My favorite thing about this show is people who get on this show because of this stupid program that he does.

[Carlos]

Yeah.

[Andrew Santino]

They don't want to be on this show. You know how many millions of people want to be on the show?

[Carlos]

I know.

[Andrew Santino]

It's the funniest thing.

[Carlos]

I love it.

[Andrew Santino]

People who are like, I don't know, these two dummies.

[Carlos]

Yeah, yeah, but it's great. Dummies.

[Andrew Santino]

We're us. Dumb.

[Carlos]

Oh, okay.

[Andrew Santino]

See, that's how dumb you are. Talking about you.

[Carlos]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, I'm dumb. Yeah. I am dumb.

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah.

[Carlos]

Yeah, yeah.

[Andrew Santino]

Judy, What's a dream job? Espn. Yeah, yeah, espn. Listen up. Disney, abc, Hulu, we have. We're working with Hulu. Give this girl a job.

[Carlos]

Yeah, give her a job.

[Andrew Santino]

Now what's. What would. Sport. Would you want to cover basketball? Can you give me, like a wrap up of a game? Just as best as you can. Just give me like a wrap up. Like, you know, like, don't. What Doris does sometimes or something.

[Bobby Lee]

All right, so the Indiana Pacers just defeated the New York Knicks in game six. And we had Pascal C. Occam as the Finals mvp. They'll be looking to go against the Oklahoma City Thunder next week.

[Andrew Santino]

You're. She's great. Espn. What the are you waiting for?

[Carlos]

What are you waiting for? Right? That was incredible, Judy.

[Andrew Santino]

It's in the bag.

[Carlos]

Yeah.

[Andrew Santino]

All you have to do is not screw up the next year of grad school.

[Bobby Lee]

Okay?

[Andrew Santino]

No drugs, no drinking, no dropping out.

[Bobby Lee]

Okay.

[Andrew Santino]

Stick to it and you're good.

[Carlos]

Yeah. Three. Okay.

[Andrew Santino]

And you do drugs, drink, make film.

[Carlos]

Yeah, yeah.

[Andrew Santino]

It's the only way to do it.

[Carlos]

Yeah.

[Andrew Santino]

2. Opposite ends of the spectrum.

[Carlos]

All right, give it up.

[Andrew Santino]

Thank you. Guys are amazing. Appreciate it that there's no other students. Oh, there's one more solo.

[Carlos]

Can we do one more?

[Andrew Santino]

Yes. Put them in here.

[Carlos]

Just do one more mic closer to your mouth if. What's your name?

[Bobby Lee]

Rachel.

[Carlos]

Hi, Rachel.

[Andrew Santino]

Ms. Rachel.

[Carlos]

Ms. Rachel.

[Andrew Santino]

Miss Rachel.

[Carlos]

Where are you from, Ms. Rachel?

[Bobby Lee]

I'm from upstate New York.

[Carlos]

All right. Oneonta.

[Bobby Lee]

Albany.

[Andrew Santino]

Albany. We've been up there. The Egg.

[Bobby Lee]

Yep.

[Carlos]

Yeah, we've been up there. Yeah. Yeah.

[Andrew Santino]

Have you. Have you gone to the Egg to see a performance?

[Bobby Lee]

Not to do a performance, but when I was younger, I did, like, drama classes, and. And my performances were there at the end.

[Carlos]

Wow. What roles have you done?

[Bobby Lee]

I was, like, in middle school. It was like.

[Carlos]

It doesn't matter. I was in middle school. I did. I was a Huckleberry Finn.

[Bobby Lee]

I don't remember.

[Carlos]

I think I was.

[Bobby Lee]

They were like original plays. I don't like when I was like.

[Carlos]

Can you sing?

[Bobby Lee]

No.

[Andrew Santino]

Oh, but you can act.

[Bobby Lee]

Not anymore.

[Andrew Santino]

Oh, you've given it up.

[Carlos]

You lost a touch.

[Andrew Santino]

What are you doing at Quinnipiac?

[Bobby Lee]

I'm a media studies major, so I. I'm also not really sure what I want to do, so.

[Andrew Santino]

That's okay.

[Carlos]

That's okay.

[Andrew Santino]

We don't either, and we're at least 53 years old.

[Carlos]

Yeah, I don't have. Yeah, I like your whole look. Thank you. It's really cool. Where do you get clothes? Thrifting.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah, this whole outfit is thrifted, actually.

[Carlos]

It's amazing.

[Andrew Santino]

Thank you, Ms. Rachel. So what year are you. Let's get.

[Carlos]

Wait a little further. Ms. Rachel.

[Andrew Santino]

Let's guess what year Rachel is at Quinnipiac. What do you mean?

[Carlos]

What.

[Andrew Santino]

What year? Freshman, sophomore, junior, Senior. Let's. On the count of three. One, two, three.

[Carlos]

Junior.

[Bobby Lee]

Junior. Yes.

[Andrew Santino]

I'm good. Dude, my psychic shit is I only.

[Carlos]

Know sophomore and junior, so I thank.

[Andrew Santino]

God and I can. I'm psychic.

[Carlos]

Oh, senior and junior and freshmen.

[Andrew Santino]

Very good. So I'm psychic. I can guess. I bet you she's from. I bet you're from Albany.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah.

[Andrew Santino]

Pretty good. Upstate New York.

[Carlos]

Yeah.

[Andrew Santino]

Now we're gonna cut it to make it look like I just said that.

[Carlos]

Okay, here's. Here's one. Let me guess what? Your parents. Your parents still together? Okay, good. Let me guess. Your father works for the government.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah.

[Andrew Santino]

No way.

[Carlos]

Yeah.

[Andrew Santino]

What does he do for the government?

[Bobby Lee]

He's a mailman.

[Andrew Santino]

Ah. That, technically, is the government. That's not what you were thinking.

[Carlos]

And your mother isn't used to be a nurse?

[Andrew Santino]

No, teacher. Oh, your mom. Oh, yes, I know.

[Carlos]

She's dead.

[Andrew Santino]

She died? No, no, she's alive. Thank God. Thank God, Rachel. Thank God. Your dad is a male man and.

[Carlos]

Your mother does what?

[Bobby Lee]

She's a computer programmer.

[Andrew Santino]

Whoa.

[Carlos]

Whoa.

[Andrew Santino]

Very cool.

[Carlos]

Yeah. Working.

[Bobby Lee]

Yes.

[Carlos]

Amazing. So you come from bright, bright people.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah.

[Andrew Santino]

Good people.

[Carlos]

Good people.

[Andrew Santino]

Very good people.

[Carlos]

Yeah.

[Andrew Santino]

Now, a mailman would be what, collar?

[Carlos]

Blue collar.

[Andrew Santino]

That's good.

[Carlos]

Exactly.

[Andrew Santino]

Now you're getting it.

[Carlos]

You, dude.

[Andrew Santino]

I love doing like that.

[Carlos]

Is your mailman the type of guy that everyone knows?

[Andrew Santino]

Mailman. Carrying the mail. I'm a Jamaican mailman. Hey, mailman.

[Carlos]

No like, did you open your mail? What's your dad's last name? Oh, Mr. Curzon. Hi. Are they or they don't. They don't know. They.

[Bobby Lee]

He talks to everybody.

[Carlos]

Oh, he does?

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah.

[Carlos]

And dogs love them.

[Andrew Santino]

Mailman.

[Carlos]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Andrew Santino]

Get the dog away from me. I'm the mailman.

[Carlos]

Okay. Oh, good.

[Andrew Santino]

I can see the character. Mailman. So, mailman.

[Carlos]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Andrew Santino]

I gotta deliver the mail. Get your dog away from me.

[Carlos]

Bro.

[Andrew Santino]

Mailman is on fire. Can somebody write a mailman movie?

[Carlos]

Yeah, yeah.

[Andrew Santino]

He knows everybody. Talks to everybody. He's the man.

[Bobby Lee]

Yes.

[Andrew Santino]

And you love him.

[Bobby Lee]

He's going to a lot of baseball games together.

[Andrew Santino]

Wait, wait. Time out. You're upstate New York, so you got to be a Yankees fan.

[Bobby Lee]

We're Phillies fans.

[Andrew Santino]

What the is wrong with these?

[Carlos]

You have a brother?

[Andrew Santino]

No, Upstate New York sister.

[Carlos]

You're only child. Yeah. That's what they're doing lately.

[Andrew Santino]

Well, they're all putting them in the Quinnipiac, apparently.

[Carlos]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Andrew Santino]

Judy. Are you an only child? It's okay. Judy's not. So we got one. Okay, so upstate New York. The Bronx is not that far from you. And yet you like Philly.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah. My dad, well, the Phillies were good when my dad was a kid, so then he just passed that on to me.

[Andrew Santino]

When you always adopt. What your dad was. I get that. His dad was an Arsenal fan, so that's why he is.

[Carlos]

He can't even say Arsenal. Okay.

[Andrew Santino]

That's how my dad said cannon breast. Mailman.

[Carlos]

Yeah. Can you do an Asian accent?

[Andrew Santino]

Jesus Christ. We can.

[Carlos]

Yeah.

[Andrew Santino]

You're not gonna miss Rachel. Dreams and aspirations.

[Bobby Lee]

I'm a sports studies minor, so I would maybe like to go into sports, too. Maybe baseball. But can just.

[Andrew Santino]

Can you call a game?

[Bobby Lee]

No.

[Andrew Santino]

You don't want to call it? You want to do data and analytics?

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah, I like that. I can. And I love learning, like, baseball history, like off the top of my head, I can go back to like, like 1967 and like in the World Series winners.

[Andrew Santino]

Are you kidding me?

[Carlos]

I don't know anything. You know Daryl Strawberry?

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Carlos]

That's the only name.

[Andrew Santino]

Big Coke fan.

[Carlos]

Yeah. Jackie Robinson.

[Andrew Santino]

Coke.

[Bobby Lee]

I have a ball signed by him, my uncle.

[Carlos]

Oh, my God, you have a Jackson Robinson ball. She's really into it.

[Bobby Lee]

Yeah.

[Andrew Santino]

So wait a minute. You can name every World Series winner from until back until 1963.

[Bobby Lee]

1967. Around there.

[Andrew Santino]

Okay, look at me. Don't look at the screen because he's gonna pull it up.

[Carlos]

Yeah, don't. Don't pull it up.

[Andrew Santino]

So I can't name a year and you can't pull it out. I like, if I say 79, Pirates, 76.

[Bobby Lee]

I do know that. Give me the 70s because it was like there were three back to back winners. And I think 76 was the Reds. Is either the Reds or the Yankees.

[Andrew Santino]

I think it was the Yankees, but you might be right if it's the Reds. Reds. Reds. Holy.

[Carlos]

It was Reds. Wow.

[Andrew Santino]

How about.

[Carlos]

She's great.

[Andrew Santino]

All right, how about this? I'm gonna jump time. I'm gonna time jump.

[Bobby Lee]

Okay.

[Andrew Santino]

86 Mets. Holy.

[Carlos]

Holy. Did you know that?

[Andrew Santino]

You know the game?

[Carlos]

Oh, yeah.

[Andrew Santino]

The 86 Mets, you know. Okay. All right, so how about. God, this is insane. 2017 Astros.

[Bobby Lee]

Because that was the bang in the trash.

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah. You remember, you know.

[Carlos]

Oh, my God.

[Andrew Santino]

Banging the can. Who was the year before, though?

[Bobby Lee]

2016 Cubs.

[Andrew Santino]

God bless. It's my hometown. Who was the year before us? 2015 royals. Jesus.

[Carlos]

Jesus Christ.

[Andrew Santino]

Are you. This is a nod. I'm asking this gen. Are you autistic?

[Carlos]

No.

[Andrew Santino]

You're just brilliant. Wow.

[Bobby Lee]

So.

[Andrew Santino]

Because we have a lot of autism in this room, and I'm. This is just brilliant, guys.

[Carlos]

This is regular other people, you know, like presidents.

[Bobby Lee]

No, no.

[Carlos]

Okay.

[Andrew Santino]

No, she loves baseball.

[Carlos]

Maybe she's one of those. You know what I mean?

[Andrew Santino]

She loves baseball.

[Carlos]

Yeah.

[Andrew Santino]

Favorite Philly of all time. Yeah.

[Bobby Lee]

Ryan Howard.

[Andrew Santino]

One of the best, I tell you.

[Carlos]

Wow.

[Andrew Santino]

I played golf with him a couple months ago. Yeah. How cool is that?

[Bobby Lee]

Love him.

[Carlos]

Oh, my God. Named Rob. She said she had a ball from Hollywood. I played golf with them the other day, so let the off.

[Andrew Santino]

He is. He is the man.

[Carlos]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Andrew Santino]

Jimmy Rollins. You like Jimmy Rollins? Play golf with him, too.

[Carlos]

Yeah. Okay. Yeah.

[Andrew Santino]

I'll just name a bunch of Phillies.

[Carlos]

Yeah.

[Andrew Santino]

Did you like Schwaber when he was on the Phillies or.

[Bobby Lee]

No, he's still on the Phillies.

[Andrew Santino]

I thought you guys got Rid of him?

[Bobby Lee]

No.

[Andrew Santino]

Oh.

[Bobby Lee]

It's his contract year.

[Carlos]

God, man, look at her. She's a big fan.

[Andrew Santino]

Well, you know why I don't care about him anymore? Because when we dumped him off to you guys, we didn't give a. He didn't play that good without us. We're better without him.

[Bobby Lee]

He's better now.

[Andrew Santino]

Well, we're better without him. Check the record. You know what's going on.

[Carlos]

Would you take Shoshai or Anani.

[Andrew Santino]

Would you take Shohei Ohtani in cosplay if he walked up to.

[Carlos]

Is he good? Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Would you take him on your team?

[Andrew Santino]

Of course.

[Carlos]

Okay, good.

[Andrew Santino]

Would you take him?

[Carlos]

What?

[Andrew Santino]

He's probably one of the greatest living baseball players.

[Carlos]

He's so great. I've seen.

[Andrew Santino]

No, no, no, no. I don't. I'm trying to explain to you in the way that you talk about, like, in the way that you talk about. I'm trying to give you the best example I can. Henry. No, no. Even better than Henri, though. I'm saying, like the greatest. Like Maradon.

[Carlos]

Messy.

[Andrew Santino]

Messy.

[Carlos]

Yeah.

[Andrew Santino]

This guy is messy to baseball.

[Carlos]

Wow.

[Andrew Santino]

He's a. He's unfucking believable. He's a. He is a. He is a. He's a statistician's mind. He's a. Mind how good he is, it's like, shocking.

[Carlos]

Wow.

[Andrew Santino]

He broke a record. He. I mean, he shattered records in multiple. Of multiple lanes.

[Carlos]

Yeah.

[Andrew Santino]

And he's a pitcher who also bats. Yeah, he doesn't even have to.

[Carlos]

He got two home runs the other day.

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah, they beat him 18. Two. He's so good, Bob.

[Carlos]

Yeah.

[Andrew Santino]

That he doesn't even have to pitch. And they're still beating the living out of everybody.

[Carlos]

Wow. He's a good pitcher.

[Andrew Santino]

He's awesome.

[Carlos]

Yeah. Yeah. What? He might start pitching this year.

[Andrew Santino]

Yeah, they said maybe, but I think if they're smart, they just don't need to. I wouldn't do it. If you're on the tear that they're on, why would you do it? There's a lot of sports talk radio. But I will say, I do love that you love baseball. I gotta say, my favorite Quinnipiac student so far.

[Carlos]

Do mailman again.

[Andrew Santino]

Mailman. By the way, there's. How about this? Do we have any fans that are Jamaican? Mailman. Mailman. Please fucking email us. You know, there's a kid in New York who's a Jamaican mailman. I bet my life on it. And email Carlos in the booth and give us a video of you saying, give us a video of you delivering mail.

[Carlos]

I'm the mailman, so can you do me? You're going to close out the show. I want you to look into that camera and say thank you for being a bad friend.

[Bobby Lee]

Thank you for being a bad friend, Ms. Rachel.

[Andrew Santino]

Amazing battered bastards of baseball.

[Carlos]

D.